#of my motivation to write and ended up stopping for the day bc i felt like everything i was writing was awful and ooc 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canmom · 3 months

Text

Comics mini-Comints: Dungeon Meshi

reread dungeon meshi through to the end. still such a great manga. here are immediate thoughts - if I end up having time and energy I hope I can write something that goes deeper!

ironically i was only a few chapters from the end when I stopped keeping up, but I was struggling to remember all the characters and context, so reading it through in one go was definitely an ideal way to achieve maximum impact there.

ryoko kui does a very elegant job of handling a transition from 'silly antics' to 'big dramatic fantasy' while still keeping the central thematic throughline - eating and being eaten, belonging to an ecosystem, the significance of sacrificing others to achieve your own desires. a lot of setups pay off in a way that feels meticulously planned - and of course the crux of the final showdown revolves around characters attempting to eat each other, of course the big payoff is a huge feast that symbolically unites all the conflicting factions. it is maybe a bit too neat and happy for my taste, but it's undeniably tightly executed - it never loses sight of what it's about. especially compared to something like Frieren, it's an incredibly coherent serialisation, up there with e.g. Fullmetal Alchemist.

kui's art style deserves all kinds of praise - it feels effortlessly simple, but it clearly communicates all sorts of different shapes and body types and it's really fun to see her play around with remixing the different visual elements when she switches the races around. in general Laius's autistic monster loving ways clearly reflect kui's own deeply felt appreciation for all the ways people and animals live (accentuated further by all the extra sketches the scanlators tuck in). in a way you could kinda call it like Parts Unknown the fantasy manga.

the stakes of the final conflict are interesting - there is much to be said about the framing of 'desire' and its fulfilment, of this occult idea of 'the infinite'. lots you could put in relation to other manga, and also buddhism. (in particular I really want to develop a comparison to Made In Abyss, there are so many parallels, it just might be too spicy for tumblr lmao).

one thing I really like about it is how much its fantasy dungeon-exploring setting owes to D&D and other TTRPGs, rather than videogames. monster ecology has been a fascination of that game since the early days of Dragon magazine, and Kui sharply zeroes in on some of the intrinsic conflicts baked in to that fantasy milieu, notably the lifespan thing, while smartly avoiding the traps of 'evil races'. there's some really fun nods to the weirder monster manual entries. and in a story with so many characters and factions, it does a genuinely incredible job of furnishing everyone with understandable, reasonable motivations, conflicts drawn from their context just like the monsters are explained by their ecology.

and one thing that I particularly appreciate is like... how much it is able to simultaneously understand and sympathise with a character and also show us how and why they'd rub others the wrong way. it's impossible not to like our main group, they're all such charming dorks and the manga leads you along with all the crazy rpg party shit they do, but at the same time you definitely find yourself thinking 'guy's got a point' in the kabru chapters lmao. I'm projecting hard bc i don't really know a thing about ryōko kui but laius def feels like the sort of depiction of having an autism that you can only do if you've lived it.

but yeah, it's a fuzzy ending where it all turns out well. but what's the deeper thrust of it all? there's a funny moment where marcille is like 'maybe in the end our journey is about learning to accept death' and the grouchy old gnome guy completely laughs this off as naive, because death doesn't mean anything. and indeed their big plan pays off, and falin does indeed come back just fine. but still, through all of this it asks you to bite the bullet that being a living creature means eating to survive, at the cost of other creatures, with the other side being that one day you too will be eaten. in contrast to this honest way of being is the beguiling fantasy of infinity, where all your desires are immediately fulfilled - this is shown as a dangerous path of corruption that produces madness and manipulability. having limits and rubbing up against the wishes of others, or 'doing things you don't want to do' as izutsumi's arc puts it, becomes necessary for having some kind of definition as a subject. the thing that makes the demon concrete as an entity is a desire, or appetite, that can't immediately be fulfilled.

of course we can connect this to the idea of narrative conflict. a standard advice for putting together a plot is to ask what each character wants and why they can't get it. wanting something implies movement. and indeed over the course of this story, we see that while having too many desires fulfilled too readily leads to incoherence and callousness, equally a character who is left catatonic as their desires have been eaten by the demon must be reawakened to activity by finding a new desire.

it's kinda Buddhist innit. neither the opulence of the palace nor asceticism. desires are what tie you to the world. but mixed with ecology: what a creature does to find the energy to live is what defines its lifestyle, its form.

this is probably where I'd start talking about entropy gradients and shit if i wasn't typing this on a phone at 1:30am lmao.

but yeah - it's a powerful move to go from 'D&D monster recipe show sendup' to 'living with the inherently violent nature of being an organism fated to live in a finite sum game' and yet Dungeon Meshi makes it feel natural and convincing, while remaining tremendously charming and funny throughout. ryōko kui is definitely some kind of genius, and I can't wait to see what her next act is gonna be. it's all definitely making me appreciate the act of eating a lot more.

next story on my plate is probably The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, which sounds like it will present a very gnarly thematic contrast.

#manga #dungeon meshi #comics comints

173 notes · View notes

kitorin · 1 year

Text

boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin

contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff

warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao

a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways

how you met

you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have

you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.

you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling

rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)

after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend

he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away

"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"

"are you sure-?"

"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"

once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear

"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."

you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"

before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.

how he got to know you

[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?

i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying

[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?

i'm y/n, you?

[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin

after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments

turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception

in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality

even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat

you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships

how he knew he liked you

BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.

he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest

he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor

his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial

"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this

"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"

"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"

when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment

his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy

rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right

back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said

"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"

...

denial huh?

he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.

"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"

his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.

if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?

he passed out eventually completely lost in thought

how you ended up dating

some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie

accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything

yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character

you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm

he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things

what would be worse than losing you, anyways?

and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.

"ri-?"

"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"

"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.

"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"

"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.

that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.

"rin?"

"yes?"

"may i kiss you?"

somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.

dates + other headcanons

MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get

doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him

since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)

he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows

if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby

also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)

SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)

visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him

he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests

whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin blue lock #fluff #headcanons #blue lock headcanons #blue lock

458 notes · View notes

tinysocks0 · 11 days

Note

hellooooo um so i saw your requests are open and i was wondering if you’d write some fluffy madness where reader tries their best to comfort rhea after she had to vacate the women’s championship title?

you can take the concept and do what you want with it but im just begging for rhea fluff bc theres an agonizingly low amount of rhea fics as it is 🥺🙏🏼

On Top Again

Angst, fluff, fluff ending, No use of Y/N, gender neutral reader. That’s pretty much it I think

(Sorry if it’s a little short!! But I tried my best, I hope you like it!! <3)

That week, Rhea was very to herself, which was unlike her and you had no clue why. You tried cheering her up with little surprises and affection, and while it put a smile on her face it never lasted long.

You figured she needed space; Rhea wasn’t the strongest communicator when it came to her feelings. You were aware of that. You knew if something was bothering her terribly, she’d come to you.

Now you knew what kept her spirts down that week when you watched Monday Night Raw, you stared at the screen with a sad, pitiful look. That championship was proof of her commitment, hard work, and her literal blood, sweat, and tears. It was her whole life encased in a shiny golden belt she wore with pride; and that night it was almost as if it was stripped from her over an injury. You could only imagine her pain in that moment.

When she got home the next day around noon, she seemed almost defeated. You knew she put up a strong front for work, but now she didn’t seem too sure of her abilities.

You slowly walked towards her while she was crouched, giving Barry and Luna some much needed affection. She wore a baggy band shirt paired with her signature sweatpants, suitcase still at the door.

“Hey, love. I seen what happened last night..do you feel like talking about it?..”

Rhea sighed, getting up and giving you a deep hug which you returned immediately. She finally spoke up after a few moments in your embrace.

“..I’m sorry I’ve been distant..and not talking to you as much as I should. I just got the news before Raw..I felt like I needed to process it on my own before going up on stage and announcing it in front of everyone. I knew you were worried about me, and I’m sorry..”

You looked up at Rhea, cupping her face in your hands before speaking gently.

“I know you process emotions differently Rhea, and that’s okay. I understand…and I’m sorry you lost your championship. It meant a lot to you.”

Rhea gives you a pity half-smile, looking to the side.

“It did..it still does. I worked my ass off for that championship only for it to get stripped away from me. I don’t even know what I’m going to have to do to get it back.”

You heard the frustration in her voice, quickly replying to try and ease her nerves.

“Hey, hey..baby, I know you’ll get it back. If anyone is worthy of that title it’s you. It took an injury to take your title away from you, not anyone else’s willpower. That sounds pretty badass if you ask me.”

Rhea cracked a small smile, looking at you with a glimpse of hope in her eyes as you continued speaking.

“I know that championship meant the world to you. I’m sorry.” You gave Rhea a sympathetic look, putting a strand of hair that was in her face behind her ear.

“It was my whole life, but you are too. You’re my number one motivator and I’m so glad that you believe in me.”

You smiled at Rhea, tears in your eyes from the swell of emotions you felt from what she just told you.

“It’s going to take a lot more than one little injury to stop thee Rhea Ripley. Even if I also advise you stay home, you most likely wouldn’t have listened.” Rhea chuckled a little bit, showing you a genuine smile for the first time in a while.

You gave Rhea a kiss on the cheek as she kept on giggling; she draped her arms around your waist in return.

“You’re going to be on top again, Rhea, I know you will. You always are.”

#rhea ripley #mami rhea #women of wwe #rhea ripley x reader #papi rhea #rhea ripley fluff #rhea x reader #wwe superstars #wweedit

113 notes · View notes

the-anxious-stargazer · 8 months

Text

Like Lucky Strike || Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Y/N asks out Sam on a date, both of them worry about how the night would go. When the night came and the date went on, they felt their worries settle down knowing that they were both comfortable of each other.

Words: 4.4k

Note: i'm happy y'all enjoyed the first part and honestly i never thought of making a part 2 so here you go! i'm sorry if it took too long i was trying so hard to find the motivation to write the date part during a breakup HUHU enjoy more sam fluff bc this woman deserves the fucking world :) also yes quinn never went bad we are healthy so she is not going to avenge her bitchass brother.

[Masterlist] [Part 1]

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━♡♡♡━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

"Hey Matty, where's a great place to bring a girl you have been crushing on for quite some time now? " Y/N asks her good friend, who paused his typing,

"Wait, you finally asked Sam out?" Matt states his shock.

Y/N had been rambling to her good friend and boss, Matt, about how things had been going between her and Sam. If he were being honest, his friend's been stupidly in love with Sam since the day she shared their conversation one night at the diner. For someone who likes to observe the world around her, Matt was sure she was the most oblivious of how she felt towards a specific woman that works in her favorite diner.

It had been the day after Y/N had walked Sam to her apartment after work and asked her to dinner, and for the past few hours since she got home, she's been overthinking about it. She ends up planning what she'd be wearing for the date and settled wearing something more casual than what she always wore whenever she stopped by the diner. If someone were watching her choosing between the amount of clothes she had picked they'd think that she has lost her mind. Though Y/N had decided on her clothes, the next on her list was the place they'd have dinner at. Like what Sam said last night, she was aiming for a place they can only afford than going to an expensive restaurant and pouring her entire savings into some dish that she's not even sure she'd like. So that's why she seeks someone else's opinion,

"Yes, I did, and I'm panicking because I have no place in mind to take her to!" The woman nervously answers before she sat down on the chair by his table and tapped her feet. It was something she's been doing for the past few hours of contemplating things.

"Well, don't take her anywhere expensive." Her friend emphasizes as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

"I'm aware, dude. I can't spend my entire bank account for a plate of steak that I can do 10x better at home." Y/N jokes when she can't even cook much.

"Then why not cook her something?" Matt playfully suggests, and he sees the cringe on her face before replying, "And attempt to burn my place down again? Gladly! "

"C'mon, it can't be that bad Y/N." He tries to convince her.

Y/N suddenly recalls the time she tried to make spaghetti and ended up burning the sauce and cooking her noodles mushy. The chaos she omitted that Sunday afternoon caused her fire alarm to go off, and earned numerous knocks on her door after her attempt. Let's just say she never bothered to try cooking anything fresh other than instant noodles and canned food. Even her mother laughed so hard at her story when she was telling it on the phone.

"Did you forget that I almost burned my place down because of tomato sauce, Matthew?" The sarcasm that drips in her voice makes Matt laugh,

"Oh, what about that taco truck you said you've been wanting to try for the past two weeks?" Matt remembers her words. The woman's eyes light up from his suggestion.

Y/N still had been eyeing that taco truck that was a few walks away from her apartment but had always been preoccupied to try.

"Oh my gosh, Matt. You're a fucking genius! " Y/N exclaims before standing up.

"Then I'll let you get off early later." Matt chuckles at his friend before he watches her walk out of his room and go to the lobby to continue her brainstorming. Though she does stop by the door before saying, "Thank you, Matty. You're the best!"

Meanwhile, in the Bailey-Carpenter apartment, Sam had reluctantly asked her young sister what outfit she could wear, and it ended up Mindy, Anika, and Quinn tagging along. Tara was beyond ecstatic to help her big sister with something like this. After almost a year of living in New York, Sam's finally letting herself be open in the dating scene. The other three were beyond surprised to hear that the Samantha Carpenter was going on a date with someone they had never heard of before, but Tara filled them with what she knew. Quinn and Tara rummage into Sam's closet for some clothes qualified enough for her to wear tonight.

So far, the progress is going very slow.

"Wait so, she's a regular at the diner you work at and defended you from these mean girls that been harassing you? Damn, now I want to meet the woman." Mindy babbles as she sat on Sam's bed and rests one of her arms in-between her girlfriend's thighs.

"And she always walks her home after her shifts. I sometimes catch up to them and that ass of hers is looking mighty fine in those pantsuits." Quinn adds while studying one of Sam's crop top.

"That's so sweet. Sam, she already sounds like a keeper." Anika smiles at the older Carpenter who has been embarrassed the entire time.

"Oh my god you guys, we're not even anything yet." Sam covers her face.

"Not even anything? Sam, she's literally the first person you opened up to with none of our connections. And she waits for you to finish your shift sometimes and walks you home!" Tara points out facts as she turns around to face her sister,

"And— And, she's the first person to ever make you genuinely laugh! I have never heard you laugh since you know who!" Her sister continues.

"Tell me, has she ever done that to anyone else at the diner?" The younger Carpenter continues, and the three wait for her response as she froze.

The coffee breaks she always offered to everyone turned out mostly to be her's except for the times she was off. Y/N does always wait for her to finish her shift but only when she's on the morning shift. On the night shifts, she's more than happy to accompany her before 10 pm to head home and rest. Sam always texted her whenever she got home before going to sleep and it always surprised her when she got a reply so early to bid her to have a good rest. Y/N only offered the walks to her specifically that even Cate and Dolly tease her about it while Dale proudly smiles at his favorite regular. Sam concludes that her sister was right. When she took too long to respond Tara snaps her fingers and scoffs in amusement.

"See? There is something!" The younger Carpenter finishes before she goes back to help Quinn.

"Okay, as much as I want to help Tara prove that she's right, why do you not have anything spicy here Sam? Not even a red dress or a cute skirt?" Quinn interjects and she gives up.

"I mean, tank tops, skinny jeans, and boots are Sam's thing. I don't see a problem with that." Mindy joins in with a shoulder shrug.

"I agree with her on that one." Her girlfriend beams and Mindy kisses her cheek for it.

Sam smiles at their antics before she finally helps find the perfect fit for her. She felt content to be surrounded by people who support her in this new chapter in her life. Part of her still felt incredibly nervous to go out with Y/N who felt the same way as she changed to the outfit she had planned which was a green plaid jacket, white shirt, black jeans, and walking shoes. It felt weird to dress this comfortably just to see Sam. She's at least checked herself in the mirror more times she can count than usual and has contemplated too many times if she should drop the jacket or not. But the weather today seems to tell her that it might rain one way or the other. Y/N just had to be sure that she was prepared for the worst.

When she finally stopped herself from stressing about her fit, she grabbed her stuff and left her apartment to walk her way to Sam's apartment. Even if it was around five blocks away walking felt better than getting a taxi and getting stuck in traffic at this hour. Y/N put on her earphones as she strutted through the New York crowd and minded her business. The people around her moved in routine as some bumped into each other and yelled at the person to watch their way while some people talked loudly on the phone. She was beyond immune to how the people here are the way they are. So as Y/N arrives at the Bailey-Carpenter apartment building, she catches a glimpse of the sisters waiting for her by the stairs and Tara is the first one to notice her arrival. Her eyes couldn't leave Sam's body as she stood next to her sister who sat on the stairs and tapped her shoes nervously. She wore a cropped tank top and blue skinny jeans to match her usual boots that she wore to work. Y/N always liked her wearing tank tops because she gets to see those arms for free.

"Y/N!" Tara jumped from her seat as she ran to hug the woman nearing them. Y/N smiles at the younger Carpenter and hugs her with one hand.

Sam looks up to see both of them and she freezes at the sight of her. Those doe eyes couldn't leave Y/N's figure as she initiated small talk with Tara. Everything else blurred out as she watched the woman smile as she spoke and her voice was inaudible. She thought she looked amazing even in casual wear. It was too weird to see her outside of her work clothes since she's gotten so used to Y/N visiting her right after work. She didn't even realize that they had approached her. Sam couldn't snap out of her trance until someone snapped their fingers in front of her. Tara giggled at her sister's unresponsiveness when Y/N greeted her and dropped her hand that was in front of her sister's face.

"Huh?" Sam uttered as she blinked a few times.

"You good, Sam?" Y/N asks as she tries to hide away her amusement,

"Yeah, y-you look good." She sheepishly replies and smiles back at her before she hears her compliment her back, "I could say the same for you,"

"You ready?" The woman saw her nod before both of them turned to notice Tara grinning at them.

"You better bring her back home before 10 or we will hunt you down, Y/L/N." The younger Carpenter tries to intimidate her with an emphasis on "we" and it makes Y/N laugh at her attempt. The interaction caused Sam to push Y/N's back for them to leave.

"10 o' clock, Y/L/N! Don't forget it! "

"Yes, ma'am!" She turns around and shouts back with a salute.

"Tara get back inside! I'll see you later." Tara shakes her head while giggling before following her order.

Unconsciously, Y/N holds her hand while Sam's free hand covers her face in embarrassment. As much as she loved her sister dearly, Tara was surely doing all she could to humiliate her in front of Y/N. But deep down, she's more than happy that they bonded well. Tara is kind of easy to befriend so Y/N had no worries getting along with the young Carpenter. The woman in question smiles at her as she covers her blushed face and finally takes the lead to walk them to their destination.

"I am so sorry about her." Sam tries to apologize.

"It's nothing, I like seeing you all embarrassed. It's cute." Y/N let her know.

Sam tries to act cool from her words and removes her hand from her face before looking at her to ask, "Stop it! Where are you taking us?"

"Oh, there's this taco truck I've always passed whenever I come back from the diner and have always wanted to try it out. Might as well try there." Y/N informs as they walk past a crowd.

They were a crowd of teenagers and laughing loudly at their shenanigans. Y/N felt Sam stiffen from the crowd so she carefully let go of her hand and slipped it on her back to settle her hand on her waist. This moved their bodies closer and the move made Sam blush again. Part of her wish was that Y/N wouldn't notice it but she was already too late as it made her smirk. Her cautious mind calmed down after.

"Do you want me to move away?" The woman softly questions to her ear. She could've sworn that her voice shifted from sweet to silky.

Situations like this used to make Sam freeze after Woodsboro, but Y/N has unconsciously helped her get through it. She felt incredibly safe with her around. Safety was something she had never felt since moving to New York before all the rumors started.

"N-No, this is fine." Sam stuttered, cursing at herself for doing so.

Y/N just simply smiles before they continue walking close to each other. The warm feeling on her chest continued that she couldn't help herself from smiling. Sam's nervousness was long gone and she felt more comfortable in Y/N's arms. They were able to pass by the diner and wave at the staff and regular customers inside. Behind Y/N's back, Dale had just won the bet he had with both servers who thought she wouldn't have the guts to ask Sam or the other way around. Cate whined in defeat before handing the cook his ten bucks. The smug smile on Dale's face only annoyed Dolly who also gave her ten bucks and continued cleaning the table she had abandoned after seeing the two.

When Y/N notices the familiar deli shop on the other side of the road she smiles knowing that they are near. Her hands loosen from Sam's hips and beams at her,

"What kind of taco do you like?" The woman randomly asks and Sam hums to think about her answer while they wait,

"My dad used to make these fish tacos when we were young and when we had a trip to Mexico I had this amazing one but forgot it," Sam replies.

"What about you?" She voices out her curiosity.

"I've had Al Pastor once and it was good. The one that's been showing up in my timeline lately is Birria tacos and I swear I want to try them so bad." Y/N happily answers.

Sam only giggles at her ramble before they finally arrive at the place and it was kind of crowded. There was quite the line for both the order and waiting and so far the people who were already eating seemed to be having a good time while enjoying the food. The place had slowly upgraded since Y/N had laid eyes on it. At first, it was just a taco truck by an empty parking space, but now there were tables and decorations around their area with lights complimenting the homey vibe of the area. The owner must have gotten a lot of attention to make this place look lively. Sam liked how cozy and warm the area looked as she observed more.

"So, what are we ordering?" Y/N wonders as she looks her way.

She sees the older Carpenter stare at the sign and concentrate on which order should she pick. The way her eyebrows furrowed as she debated between fish and beef made Y/N's heart flutter. Those doe eyes that used to be so mysterious are now mesmerizing to her. She thought she was so adorable that she didn't even realize that she'd been staring for too long.

"I mean, we only have two options. We can order both and just share if you'd like?" Sam concludes her thought process before she turns to see the woman's reaction only to be smiling at her mindlessly.

"Y/N? " She calls for her when she doesn't answer her.

"Hmm? Yeah, that sounds good to me." Y/N blurts out when she pulls away from her thoughts and it's Sam's turn to be amused by her getting distracted.

"What's on your mind?" Sam tries to tease her and it only makes the woman blush.

"I-I, uhm—"

"I'm messing with you, dummy." The teasing she caused had only made Y/N blush even harder as she scratched the back of her head and laughed along with her.

Just the sight of Y/N like this will be stuck at the back of Sam's head for who knows how long.

While waiting in line, the two continued conversing about their day. Y/N excluded the part where she was panicking over where she'd take them to dinner and stressing over her outfit. She found it cute how all the girls came together to help Sam with her outfit even when she only asked for Tara. Her sister has mentioned the three before whenever she hangs out at the diner when she has no classes in the afternoon. So far, Mindy is her favorite from the stories. As they ordered and finished up, it was time to wait in line. Gladly the service was fast since around four people were working inside a food truck to cook and prepare while two worked to clean the tables. When their orders were placed and the food served later, both enjoyed their dinner with laughs and stories. Y/N liked both fish and beef but Sam preferred the fish because it brought some nostalgia for her. The woman didn't mind offering the majority of the fish tacos to her and just smiled when Sam appreciated her for offering them.

"You know… I thought you wouldn't return them." Y/N began while trying to add some salsa verde to her half-eaten taco. The Carpenter girl figured that they were talking about how they felt for each other as she wiped off whatever was on her face after finishing her last taco.

"Well, I've never really had anyone openly be friendly with me and stick around even when I don't show much... interest." Sam answers.

"Stick around huh?" The woman teases with a grin before biting in.

"I mean, who's the one who kept asking for coffee breaks?" Sam watches her stifle her laugh while trying to finish chewing her food and swallow it down before replying to her,

"In my defense, I offer coffee breaks to everyone." Y/N tries to say.

"And yet you still offered it after I declined twice. You were a tad bit persistent on that." All she could do was shake her head.

"What can I say, I liked the whole mystery behind you. Intrigued me a lot and I'm glad I was patient enough to make it this far." Y/N admits, leaning back in her seat to cross her arms with a small smile.

Her eyes follow Sam's every move as she leans close to her and hovers her mouth next to her ear to say, "You have something on your face."

The shortness of the gap between them causes Y/N to sit still while the Carpenter girl wipes away the smudge of salsa verde near the corner of her lips with tissue. Her cheeks light up as they stay close and she stares at Sam's lips which seem to be more irresistible than before. The urge to fight herself back from kissing her was her greatest battle right now because she was almost losing. Sam found amusement in her enthralled state, knowing that this was the same woman who almost swerved smoothly through her guarded walls for the past month. All that natural confidence she carried with ease was nowhere to be found now. Y/N felt her hold her chin before forcing her to move her attention to her face she had a smirk. Her blush only worsened.

"Eyes up here, Cariño." Y/N almost melted on the floor when she heard her speak again.

"T-Thank you." She was able to bring herself to voice her gratitude.

Sam only chuckled at her when she replied before checking her phone to see the time. The woman before her stood up with a sigh and motioned her to follow, "Come on, my sister's going to potentially hunt you down if we don't get back at 10."

"R-Right!" Y/N stutters as she stands up.

The Carpenter girl only smiled at her as she went to cling her right arm around her left arm. Both of them walked by the sidewalk with comfortable silence between them and Sam leaned her head to her shoulder, trusting Y/N fully. She felt a sense of accomplishment for coming this far. All that patience was worth the effort now that she was here with Sam trusting her safety and well-being with her that she could never let herself be like this around anyone else but her family. That warm feeling came back to her chest as they continued to walk and Y/N only smiled at the feel of it.

"Did you enjoy tonight?" Y/N gently asks,

"It was… better than expected. Thank you for tonight." Sam sends her gratitude to her while trying to look up to see her grinning in content.

"You're always welcome, Sam. You deserve it."

Both continued in silence as they walked back to the Carpenter's place. While walking, Y/N felt something land on her face, and she slightly jumped from it. Her head turned left and right to try and figure out what it was before she felt something land again. The woman then looked up to the sky that had the stars hidden, and before they knew it the rain started pouring down at them. Y/N's instinct was to run and look for some cover, but most of them were being occupied by other people. A thought popped into her mind, and she suddenly remembered that she wore her plaid jacket for this exact reason. She then started stripping out of the said jacket and covered Sam's head to keep her dryer.

"You're going to get wet!" Sam scolds her only to be brushed off,

"It's okay, my place is near we can get dry there!" Y/N yells before grabbing her hand to lead them to her apartment.

Both of them ran through the New York rain as it continued to pour harder and they laughed like children playing in the rain. Tara's joking threats were now forgotten and Sam would probably give her a call later to let her know. Y/N could feel her clothes getting wetter in the process but as promised, the buildings that she was all too familiar with walking past whenever she came home came nearer. Sam noted that she lived on a nicer street than she and her sister do, though only a little. When they reached the apartment building, Y/N quickly looked for her keys in the pockets of her jeans and fished them out when she found them. She then unlocks the building door and lets Sam in first before she follows to close the door behind.

"Oh my god, Y/N. You're all soaked up." Sam points out the obvious as she takes off the plaid jacket off her head.

All she heard from her was a laugh before she shakes her head to brush it off.

"At least you're not." The woman beams at her and she thinks she looks like a little kid smiling at her with her hair flat and clothes drenched.

Y/N noted that Lenard, the keeper, would probably kill her for causing a mess on the floor with a puddle slightly forming from the water dripping from them. She'll apologize to him by the morning before she comes to work, probably with a box of his favorite Marlboro to make up to him.

"C'mon, we might get sick if we don't get out of these," Y/N remarked as she started making her way to the elevator.

Luckily enough for them, the elevator was free for them and they both entered the box accompanied by squeaks from their shoes. Y/N pressed the button for her floor and leaned her weight to the railing at the back, Sam following her. The Carpenter girl takes a moment to stare at the woman beside her and notices how her skin glistens from the water and the lighting of the elevator. It was relatively bright, but not bright enough to be blinding. Numerous thoughts came to her mind as she burned her skin with her unwavering eyes that she felt them. Y/N turns to face her and breathed,

"What's on your mind, Sammy?" Something about the way her voice caused the hair on her arms to go up and made her throw all her restraints away.

And hearing that nickname was her breaking point.

"Fuck it," Sam uttered before she grabs Y/N's face and presses her lips onto hers.

Y/N's plaid jacket that she had held has been dropped on the floor and both couldn't be bothered by it. The force Sam had used to press her hard to the wall caught Y/N off guard and the kiss only made her feel like there was a fireworks display in her stomach. She noted how soft her lips were and the desperation in her kiss as they turned their heads in sync. There was a hint of citrus on Sam's lips and she liked the taste of it that they felt irresistible. Hands slowly make their way to Sam's hips before Y/N flips their places with her now pinning the Carpenter girl, barely breaking the kiss.

If only she knew how her knees weakened when she took dominance.

When it seemed like it was taking forever and both women struggled to breathe, they pulled away from each other but not too far away to miss each other's warmth. Sam decided to be the first one to break the silence in the hair,

"I know I was the one who started, but I think… we're going too fast." She addressed as she caught her breath.

Y/N giggles as she looks down to avoid her stare and a shade of pink paints her cheeks, "Yeah, I agree and I don't mind if you want to take things slow."

Sam just smiles at her in content when she looks back to her doe eyes and makes her heart leap at the adoration in Y/N's eyes. She felt too fortunate to have someone as considerate and patient as her. Almost too good to be true. But she reassured herself that Y/N was nothing like Richie. And Sam hoped her heart won't be broken twice with betrayal.

"I'd like that."

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━♡♡♡━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

THANK YOU FOR READING I'M SORRY IF THIS TOOK LONG <3

#sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter #sam carpenter fanfic #scream 5 #scream 6 #melissa barrera #nena's written work

238 notes · View notes

dearhargrove · 2 years

Text

Change of heart

Billy Hargrove x f!reader

Request Henderson reader (f or gn) dating Billy, Dustin doesn’t approve, Billy climbs into window after fights with Neil and you patch him up (mentally and physically), but one night it’s really bad and he and Max turn up knocking at the door bc Billy is in no shape to climb, and Dustin answers and Billy is like almost passing out but eh and you have to help him, and Dustin is like “oh shit” and yeah happy ending please

summary Dustin never liked Billy, but he definitely didn't like you dating Billy. Until said boy shows up on the brink of losing consciousness but still manages to swoon over you. Yeah, that might have changed Dustin's mind.

tags violence, wounds, bleeding, Henderson!reader

notes I love writing, so I'm happy to be back! It was hectic with the first weeks of school and I haven't been focusing on much else. There was also no motivation, and I just felt guilty leaving you all hanging like I did. Let's hope it gets better! Love you all <3

masterlist • navigation

Dustin never approved of you and Billy. That's what you expected when you revealed it to him; blatant rejection and some disbelief. It was justified - Billy had terrorized the kids unreasonably for weeks before meeting you.

He had honked at the boys before nearly running them over - but this time you saw him.

You had approached him in school the next day, threatening to run him over instead. From that moment he was intrigued. After asking you out a few times you agreed and got to know him.

It would be quite the shock for everyone to find out he's sweet (when he lets himself).

The first time he needed your help was when he smashed his mirror out of anger, some pieces of the glass still stuck in his hand. You had scolded him and after coddled him, sad this was his only way to channel his anger.

It had luckily never been that bad, a few bandaids, some disinfectant and he was fine.

You were in your room when it happened, reading over your homework.

Dustin huffed out of annoyance at the aggressive knocking before ripping the door open. "What?" That's when he saw who it was on his doorstep. There Max stood, Billy's arm around her shoulder and only barely standing.

"Get your sister. He said she can help," she urges and drags him in. "Woah, Woah. Stop there - he's not going in here or close to my sister." Dustin disliked Billy and didn't trust him. He was scared that you'd end up getting hurt more than anything.

"No," Max just said again and walked further, huffing from the exhaust. "Dustin, what the fuck is going on?" You ask, eyes on the stairs as you walk down (you'd fallen down the stairs way too many times to not be careful).

Max yelled out your name and when you got down the last step she was in front of you with her brother draped over her.

He had blood running down his forehead and his knuckles were burst open. "What happened to him?" You quickly overcome your shock and help the small girl to get him to the kitchen.

You sit him down in one of the chairs and get your - updated - first aid kit. Since the first few times, you've stocked it up on bandages, disinfectant, and more stuff. You brush his hair aside carefully, noticing he was barely conscious.

"Alright, Max, Dustin? Keep him awake, talk to him," you instruct and wipe the blood off his forehead, getting to cleaning the wound high on his forehead. You're incredibly tense, the fact that you have to save this was challenging.

Sometime in between he wakes up completely, hissing in pain. "Jesus, he got me good." He jokes and you would've slapped him if he wasn't in a bad condition like this. "Billy?" Max asks frantically and keeps up the conversation, though his eyes are on you and his hand shakily on your hip.

When you're done you gather up the trash left from everything and gesture to the two teens to take it outside.

With a sigh, you cross your arms and lean against the counter. "What happened?" He smiles at you warily and shrugs, opening his arms. "Hug me I think I deserve some love," it's half-joking, half-serious, so you huff but gather him in your arms.

His head is leaning against your stomach and you have one hand on his neck. "He made some comments about you, and I couldn't stop myself," he explains and you're once again close to smacking him. "I've told you to just let it go when he does that. It doesn't matter to me, so it shouldn't to you."

He shrugs and grins, "Don't care."

With a shake of your head you hear the two friends come back in and take his hand, "Can you walk?" He nods and you help him up. "Pretty sure Dustin accepts you now."

Somewhere - that's way too close for them to not have eavesdropped - you hear Dustin shout a 'Still a long way to go!' and you laugh a little, Billy as well. "He's fierce."

Opening the door to your room you let him go, going to clean up your homework quickly. "Studying as always." He remarks with amusement, dropping on your bed. "Some of us have to," you drily say and sit down next to where he sat on your bed.

"You don't. You're smart enough not to and still ace all the exams, you know that right?" There he goes with the flattery. Scoffing playfully, you change into your pajamas before going to your closet to retrieve some of his shirts, so he wouldn't have to sleep in his bloodied clothes.

"Alright, I have this," you give him a white muscle shirt he'd left months ago, "and this," it's a pair of boxer shorts - you couldn't answer why it was there, but you're glad it was.

"Go change and come to bed, I'm tired."

He looks at you fondly, and even though his eye was swelling up and his face ached with every movement (just as the rest of his body did) he made it a point to send you one of his rare, but appreciated, big smiles.

"Be right back, princess."

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #dustin henderson #max mayfield #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove angst #dacre montgomery x reader #dacre x reader #dacre montgomery

1K notes · View notes

nailisaa · 11 months

Text

apology success story!!

so i really wasn’t expecting this specifically to happen. so i was bored at home earlier this week, and i was like… why don’t i write up a version of myself to embody and see what happens! i opened a google doc and i wrote things about who she is, her looks, the way people think of me, her mindset, her everything basically. i did this, and went about my day feeling super motivated and confident while embodying her (bc confidence was apart of her mindset). however one of the things i forgot i wrote was “everyone who has hurt me begs for my forgiveness till this day, because i’m too perfect to lose” AND BRO…

okay storytime; i stopped being friends with this one girl in march because she did something fucked up to me. it’s not related to this story whatsoever so all i’m gonna say is she was a major pick me. this girl has been friends with most of my friends. they all wanted to “stay neutral” in the situation. this was including the one of the girls i was closest with in school. however, i was okay with this “neutrality” BULLSHIT UNTIL she literally starting IGNORING ME and only paying attention to this pick me😭💀. i felt really lonely and angry about it, but i never said anything.

(end of background info)

now, when i wrote what i said before, i was not thinking about this situation, so this was a shocker to me. i thought she didn’t even know what she was doing since it was happening for a while, but she clearly noticed, because THE SAME DAY i made the document, she sent a whole paragraph apologizing to me for ignoring me and asking if things could go back to how it used to be between us.

see what happens when you change self? your whole world changes, because YOU are all there is🤍🤍

285 notes · View notes

littledollll · 1 year

Note

Hellooooo, before I request anything I just wanted to let you know that your stories are super duper comforting. I get so excited when I see that you've posted, and I especially love re-reading your works when I'm feeling sick, or little or sad or you know...✨️other things✨️

I was reading up on Lucifer (The Sandman's) Wiki page, but the comic version, and I read that Lucifer can choose a soul's destination, and they killed someone by their own will, so that they'd be free from (I think) a demon's service.

Soooo I was wondering if I could request Lucifer x fem reader? They're in love but reader is a mortal, so they beg Luci to kill them so that 1) they can be free from this shitty world but also 2) so that they can be together.

And maybe Luci has to think of the nicest way they can kill their lover? Lots of comfort and angst please hehe. Also I hope this makes sense <333

-🧸 anon

Our forever

Lucifer x human!reader

a/n: random 2am writing motivation I’ve gotten 3 fics DONE ima see what else I can do until I knock tf out☝️

Warning: talk about death, like so much of it, like it’s basically the whole fic. Slight arguing but it’s bc they love eachother awww

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

“What?” The look on Lucifer’s face was of disbelief, truly they looked at you as if you were insane to even bring up the idea.

“There’s only so much time you can spend in the waking, and I have nothing here Lucifer. No reason to stay. So- kill me, we found a way to be together forever. You wouldn’t have to leave your realm constantly, I wouldn’t miss you so much, we could have so much time.”

Still, Lucifer looked anything but convinced.

“I’m gonna die anyways! I would preferred not having to wait like 80 years just so I can freely be with you.” You were stubborn but so are they. “Then wait. Why, why do you so freely wish to give up your life for Hell. What’s another 80 years if I’ll have an eternity with you by the end of it.”

“Wont I be like super old? You want to be with a super old me? I certainly don’t want to look any older than I am now for the rest of eternity, thank you!” That was a poor argument, you knew that. But you felt as if this was actually becoming an argument and you sure as hell didn’t want that to be the case.

“I can’t do that.” They quietly replied, hands coming up to cup your face. “Fuck the laws, since when are you anything but rebellious!” You were so set on this idea. Lucifer sighed, they almost looked, sad? “I don’t care about the laws. I care about you, much more than anything else, much more than I’d usually feel comfortable admitting. My darling, I can’t kill you.”

Sure you’ve been together for years, you know how you feel about eachother you know they love you more than anything. But hearing that admission, basically a confession- so openly made you pause. What are you even supposed to say after that?

“You die and then what? You just leave your whole life behind, quite literally. You simply move to hell? What comes after? What are your expectations, what do you want from this?” Being alive for so many eons you’d guess it’s impossible to stop thinking about the future, about any and all possibilities.

“Nothing! I just want to be with you. I don’t care what i have to go through or have to get used to once I’m there. I just want to be with you why is that so difficult to understand?” Why don’t 𝙮𝙤𝙪 understand.

“Hell isn’t me. You need to understand that, it’s not a book trope, it’s not a person who softens up to you. It’s a place meant for sin, judgment and punishment. Hell is not fun, it’s freezing, it smells of sulfur and smoke, there is no such thing as peace and quiet there. I can keep you sheltered inside the walls of my castle. Outside of that, it is just hell.”

“Then I’ll stay by your side, inside the castle, and I’ll learn. Id only have so many years to learn how to live there after all.” You’re not letting this go until they give in or the day you naturally die and they know that.

You knew their mind was running through every little detail of how this could work, of how they’d find the strength to actually kill you, how you could be by their side, how hell could actually be your home.

“Is this truly what would please you?” They searched your eyes for any hesitation, for doubt, but they couldn’t find any. “To start Our forever now? More than anything. I have nothing here to will hold me back, I have a home when I’m with you, Lucifer.”

Lucifer sighed, arms wrapping around you once again. “I, I will find a way, if you truly insist. I will ensure your comfort, that you are to die quickly and painlessly, and when you wake it will be in the safety of my arms.”

“I couldn’t dream of anything better!” You were visibly giddy now that you got your way. “Peculiar little being. Nobody has ever been this excited about death or hell.”

You giggled and spoke proudly, “Death is a friend, and the lord of hell is my lover, I wouldn’t expect to be called anything but peculiar.”

Was it a terrifying idea to Lucifer? Definitely. No argument there. But seeing how you practically lit up when Lucifer complied maybe made it all worth it.

#the sandman #🧸 anon #lucifer sandman #death of the endless #sandman lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar the sandman #gwendoline christie #sandman lucifer morningstar x reader #the sandman lucifer morningstar #the sandman lucifer #lucifer morningstar (the sandman)#lucifer sandman fluff

176 notes · View notes

spidrstar · 10 months

Text

HE AINT SHIT pt 2.

★ pairings: aged up e!42 miles!morales × latina! reader

★ slowburn? characters are 18+ in this story they're in their mid twenties.

★ warnings: as i write this story some parts will be slightly suggestive, if that bothers u dni..

★ a/n: now THIS, this one i put a lot of effort into ☠️ 3k words long.. btw i already had most of chap 2 written out so i will not be putting this series on hold but i won’t be having a schedule bc i know i wont follow it. Again sorry for the hold up y’all my motivation went poof ily and lmk what y’all think abt this chap. sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger 😊

★ p.s i'll be adding a link to a playlist i made that you could listen to when reading abt miles Imk what y'all think.

★ summary: You end up going to your ‘apology date’ and things go south. You wanted to spend your time eating snacks when angry but ran out, so you left and went straight to the market then you met someone unexpected.

★ previous, part 3

mwah

“…almost fell in love with you

After the club last night.”

- lovely : sonder

With groggy eyes, you found yourself zoning out, you had woken up 20 minutes ago because you were hungry. You had the worst headache ever, and all the memories from last night flooding into your head wasn’t helping either.

‘I don’t know what I was thinking, giving him my phone. Whatever, I just won’t text him.’

You stretched and yawned once again shutting off the music you fell asleep to, getting up standing in front of your mirror you noticed you had the same clothes on from last night. The sight of yourself made you sigh in exhaustion, you looked like a disaster and didn’t have energy to get all pretty today.

You lifted your dress off of yourself and sat back down on your bed in the set you had bought specially for your date that failed last night. The thought, only making you wince with closed eyes, you remembered yourself falling into bed as soon as you got home crying yourself to sleep with music playing to help. You sighed and went on your phone, you realized you never answered Kole and you wanted to keep it that way ‘til later.

You weren’t in the mood to deal with him especially after what he pulled last night. Honestly, you didn’t really care if you both went the whole day without talking to each other. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t losing feelings for him, sure you’d been together for 6 months and duh you loved him he’s your boyfriend.. you just.. weren’t sure you loved him as much as you did before. Kole rarely did anything special, he stopped giving you sweet things ‘just because’ he didn’t compliment you as if he was still trying to get with you.

None of that.

He acted as if his goal was to just get with you, not keep you happy, not love you, not make you feel special, just get with you. You started noticing it on your 3rd month anniversary. All he did was buy you flowers, no date no nothing. Only reason you hadn’t left him is because you just felt as if you couldn’t. He had been there for you during all your darkest moments, you felt like you needed him in your life. You felt glued to him and if you were to unstick even just a little bit, he made sure he stuck you back to him.

Scrolling through your other notifications you find nothing interesting and upon turning it off, that’s when an incoming call pops up on your screen. You mentally sighed preparing yourself for the incoming argument awaiting to happen.

It was Kole.

It was 2:34 pm and he wanted to call you now? Scoffing before picking up the call, you already felt yourself getting angry.

“Qué quieres ahora, Kole.” 5 seconds of silence seemed to be enough for him before he finally spoke up.

“Listen, baby, I know I fucked up by not showing up yesterday but I had things going on and—“

You didn’t even let him finish before you snapped, this made you laugh. “I don’t even wanna hear it, Kole. All I'm getting from this is that anything is more important to you than our relationship.” You closed your eyes and laid your face into the palm your hand waiting to hear what excuse he had for you this time.

“Nonono, baby listen I promise it’s nothing like that I was just chillin’ with the guys while I was waiting for you to get off work and I fell asleep watching a game and—“

“Don’t- No puedo mas, don’t even finish. Kole, I'm fed up.” here we go, you had to stand up for what you were about to say already feeling yourself tense up at the anger you were feeling.

“You know, I made sure I asked for a day off tomorrow thinking we were gonna have the best night of our lives like you had promised. Do you know how much effort I put into getting ready yesterday? You never think about anything but yourself. I made sure to buy new clothes just for you, and here you are telling me you were too busy watching games with your friends while I spent more than 2 hours preparing for our date? Are you fucking serious right now?”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying and the silence on the other line was more than enough confirmation for you to continue speaking, you let out a short laugh, tears already forming from the anger you felt. “This just goes to show how little I mean to you. I cried, Kole. I cried over and over again last night because of you.”

Kole knew he had hurt you, never in your whole 6 months of dating him had you gotten so frustrated to the point where your voice started shaking. He knew he messed up, and bad. The silence on the other line only hurt you more, your response only being a couple of sniffles.

You heard him sigh preparing to speak, “Listen baby, I know I messed up. I truly wish I could show you how sorry I am. I never meant to make you feel this way and you know I would never do this to you on purpose, I—I’ve just honestly been so stressed and wanted to let loose with the guys. We drank a bit and I got sleepy, and I know—I know that is not a good enough excuse to not show up. And I could've at least left you a text. I know that. I just—..I swear this time I'll make it up to you, Y/n.”

You frowned and sighed. As much as you really wanted to forgive him and just ‘go back to normal’ you’ve been letting this slide too many times. You knew all the times he had given you a speech almost exactly the same as this one, he was bullshitting you. You remember it clear as day, when you found multiple dating apps downloaded on his phone he gave you the most shitiest apology. He never really meant it; he just wanted to make sure you were stuck and didn’t leave him.

“I don’t know, Kole. I really don’t know what to think of this anymore—“

“Y/n, please. I know I messed up, just give me a chance to make it up to you.”

You sat there really considering it, and you came to a conclusion that if he really messed it up this time then that would be the end of this relationship. “Alright Kole, fine. Pero te lo juro if you mess this up we’re done.”

“Thank you, thank you. I love you so much baby and I promise I won't mess up. Meet me at our favorite coffee shop at 4.” and with that he hung up.

You had lost almost all your faith in your relationship, so you figured today you weren’t going to put in much effort since you just wanted to enjoy your day off in bed. You stood up from your bed again and grabbed your towel heading to your shower.

It was 3:17 pm and you had only just started putting on clean undergarments, you knew by the time you left you would be there late but at this point that was the least of your worries. You sat in front of your vanity doing your skincare routine when you noticed a dark spot on your neck, wondering what it was you looked closely.

A hickey.

You gasped grabbing your makeup sponge and some foundation trying to conceal it so your boyfriend doesn’t think of anything. But to no avail, you failed. It was still pretty visible. This is the moment when you really started panicking, you got up from your desk rummaging through your drawers searching for a turtle neck and when you found one you sighed in relief. You thought for a second letting your heart beat slow down.

‘Miles, ese estupido.’

You put the turtle neck on along with some sweatpants, slipped on your uggs and fixed up your hair only slightly since you had slept with a bonnet on. It had just hit 3:34 pm and you still weren’t ready, a few pumps of your bath and body works perfume and you got straight to your makeup. Sure you weren’t going to put in much effort, but you still wanted to wear just a bit of mascara.

You got up from your desk, grabbed your keys and let Kole know that you were on your way.

As you made your way out the building it hit 3:56 pm, still no text back from Kole. You weren’t surprised to say the least. To pass some time you decided to walk, and since the coffee shop wasn’t far. You also didn’t want to lose your parking. You slipped on your earbuds listening to some music on your way there.

Self Love; Metro Boomin & Coi Leray.

“came to the city for the love

got her hurtin’ now”

By the time you got to the coffee shop it was 4:08 pm, Kole hadn’t texted you back nor was he inside. You stepped in the shop and got in line wanting to order a snack so you wouldn’t starve while waiting. You chose your favorite, a glazed donut with some hot chocolate. You decided to pick a warm snack since it had gotten a bit windy outside.

You got your order and sat at your usual spot in the corner, taking a bite out of your donut. You decided to go on instagram to cure your boredom. You opened the app and clicked on the explore page button, you watched a few reels and quickly got bored again, swiping to the right again trying to find something interesting you stumbled across a post with more than 4k likes. You hummed in amusement scrolling through the pictures.

Pressing onto their page you realized who it was, Miles. Intrigued you stalked his page, all his posts having more than 2k likes. You observed them closely, and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t insanely attractive. You paused annoyingly remembering that you were still in a relationship and that you were mad at him for leaving a hickey on you. You glanced at the time again and it was 4:23 pm. You sighed, and got a notification from your weather app stating that there was going to be a crazy rain storm happening in about an hour.

‘Seriously? The one day I decided not to wear a sweater.’

As if on cue kole barged into the coffee shop in a hurry to see you.

You looked up at him with a dull look on your face, “Hi baby, I'm sorry there was traffic and I forgot my keys inside—“ Interrupting him you loudly sipped on your hot chocolate, signaling him to shut up with his excuses already. He sighed in defeat and sat down, “Well it doesn’t matter, you’re here now aren’t you?”

You flashed him a fake smile and you placed your cup down on the table and cleared your throat not sure what to talk about, “Sooo.. you gonna order anything or?”

“Oh, right. Do you want anything, love?” Slightly cringing at the nickname he gave you, “Yea another glazed donut would be nice.” And with that he headed towards the cash register ready to order, you took this as a chance to hop back onto your phone and look through Miles’ instagram posts.

You thought for a second, and pressed onto the ‘follow’ button. Disregarding the fact that you were still with Kole you exited out of the app.

‘Oh well, he follows many girls anyway and it’s not like we’re going to see each other again, especially after what he did.’

Kole came back with your glazed donut, he sat down and tried his best to make interesting conversation and most of the time you gave dry responses because he was just so.. how do you put it?——Boring. Usually it wasn’t this hard to catch your attention and have you entertained, but you genuinely wanted to leave.

“So yea, the game yesterday was awesome and oh! Max almost threw up because he ate 3 full boxes of pizza, can you believe that?! It’s crazy.”

You stared off across the cafe, so clearly uninterested and done with Kole. “Out of all the things to talk about, you chose to talk about what you were doing while I was waiting for you at the restaurant.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh cmon, don’t do that. The whole point of today was for me to make it up to you and you’re making it difficult.” He pouted, and this only had you feeling even angrier.

“Yeah well, it’s hard not to when you’ve done this four times already.”

He sighed and as he was about to speak that’s when both of your phones vibrated against the wooden table, you turned your attention to his screen first.

Incoming call from Madison.

“I-I gotta go babe. I promised my friend I would help her move into her new place. ” He then placed a kiss on your cheek quickly and rushed out. You sat there in disbelief as to what had just happened.

‘So not only did he show up late to his little apology date, he also ditched me for some other girl.’

You scoffed and stood up from your seat angrily deciding you were finally going to break up with him. You stared at the screen of your phone acknowledging what your notification was, Miles had followed you back. You ignored it, not thinking anything of it.

You angrily walked down the street and headed to the supermarket before going home to distract yourself, you needed to get some stuff for the house anyway.

Only two blocks away from the supermarket you started feeling a few small rain drops on your cheeks.

‘Great, now I'm gonna be soaking wet. Could this day genuinely get any worse?’

You quickly rushed into the supermarket a bit damp and grabbed a shopping basket to your left.

You head towards the snack aisle remembering you had finished your last tub of ice cream last Friday. You scanned through the aisle looking for more options and as you were slowly walking sideways squinting your eyes you bumped into someone.

“Oh- I’m so sorry i wasn’t watching where i was goin-“

Before you finished you managed to turn around and see who the person was, as if the smell of his husky cologne wasn’t an obvious giveaway.

It was Miles.

“We meet again, hermosa.” He grinned at you in amusement, eyeing you down and of course, he still looked as beautiful as when you first saw him, nothing new. You rolled your eyes mentally and just stared at him wanting to take the ‘sorry’ right back.

“Never mind, excuse me.” You tried to walk right past him trying not to acknowledge his existence. “Wow really? It’s like that now?” He asked with hurt in his voice sarcastically, you shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Dealing with Miles was the last thing you needed right now, especially after your little fiasco with Kole.

“Miles. Quítate del miedo o te quito yo.”

You spoke seriously without making eye contact, this only made him feel like teasing you more. The way you spoke to him in Spanish angrily made him smirk. “Cmon amor, what’s with the attitude? You weren’t like this last night.”

His snarky remark only irked you more, which finally caused you to look up at him. “Yeah well, this is what happens when you think it’s funny to leave hickies on me knowing I have a boyfriend.” You snapped at him and he chuckled lightly lifting your chin up to look at you directly. “You enjoyed it, what's the problem mami? You followed me on instagram too, so I know you were thinking about me, why the sudden change?” He smirked.

His voice so close to you sent shivers down your spine, you felt your body react to his touch and his voice so you quickly swatted his hand away, you clutched your shopping basket and moved past him. “Whatever, and that was a mistake, I'm unfollowing you later.”

He smirked as you walked away, you could feel his gaze on your back and you felt vulnerable, like he was a predator and you, his prey. You reached the cash register with him still following behind, you decided to speak up to try and get him to back off. “Will you quit following me everywhere?” You turned to face him, annoyance written all over your face.

“I’m tryna pay ma, not doin’ it on purpose.” He grinned at your reaction and you just wanted to oh so badly smack that beautiful grin off of his face. “Yeah? Well you could’ve chosen any other cash register, whys the one i went to your choice.” The cashier finished ringing you up and your total came to $23.47, you rummaged through your wallet and paid $20 you soon realized you didn’t have enough and mentally cursed at yourself for being so reckless.

You remember thinking before you left the house that it was best to not take much money since you were only going to the coffee shop, that decision only came back to bite on your ass. You cleared your throat nervously not knowing how to explain.

“I’m sorry.. I uh- I’m missing $4.” You laughed nervously trying to rummage through your wallet once more seeing if you could find at least three or two dollars. Miles noticed this while being behind you. You soon see out of your peripheral vision that he slid $5 to the cashier, you turned to look at him with a look that said. ‘You’re annoying, but thanks i guess.’

You placed all of your items in a bag and walked to the exit hoping Miles would stay behind, but of course since your day already sucked why not make it suck even more? He was right behind you. Pretty soon, that was the least of your concerns once you noticed that it was pouring outside. You groaned in distress palming your face and made terms with the fact that you had to walk in the rain.

You were about to step out until Miles caught on and stopped you. “Woah woah, what are you doing?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow. You looked at him as if he was wearing a red clown nose and a wig in confusement.

“Uh.. trying to walk home? What does it look like.” He matched your energy and came right back at you with a smart tone. “To me, it looks like you’re just tryna catch a cold.” You mocked him and soon noticed he was taking off his jacket while speaking. You had a confused look on your face when he placed it over you.

“What are you doing?”

“What? You think I’m bouta let you walk out ina rain like that?” He responded with a raised brow.

“Like what?”

“..Nothing.”

You ignored him and looked straight ahead, jogging out the market doors bag of snacks in hand. You groaned slightly looking up at the sky in annoyance because if even possible, the rain seemed to pour down harder. You noticed Miles was still behind you and turned to stare at him, eyeing him weirdly you then noticed how good he looked even when dripping wet in the rain. His black tee soaking wet, braids fucked up he stared at you through wet eyelashes.

“Miles, why are you still following me? I'm literally going home. Ya vete y déjame en paz, dios mío.”

“Look, I'm sorry, okay? I get it you’re mad but just let me at least walk you home. You don’t even gotta go on that date with me either, I’ll leave you completely alone afterwards. Promise. ”

You both stood in the rain staring at each other for a second before you felt sympathy for him, you felt bad for the way you came at him. Yeah, he left marks even when he knew you had a boyfriend but it’s not like you didn’t think he was cheating either. You enjoyed it anyway.. So why not cut him some slack? You turned around and continued walking but before you did, you slightly turned your head to the side to speak to him.

“Fine, but I'm not completely declining your ‘date’ offer. If you respect my relationship then maybe I’ll let you take me out. Not on a date, more like us hanging out as friends.”

You felt bad turning him down completely when you had already agreed to meeting with him, so you gave him a chance bonus points for the sad look in his eyes causing you to give into him. Besides, being just friends won’t do any harm to your relationship.. right?

He smiled following right behind you as you both turned a few more blocks, finally reaching your house. You went up the stairs and stood under the roof of the apartment to avoid the water. You stared down at him shivering in his jacket.

“Soo.. where you going now?” You asked curiously trying to fight back the way your teeth hit each other from the way you shivered.

“Probably gonna walk home, don’t live too far.” He shrugged.

You looked at him in disbelief, walking out this late in the rain with how windy it was would probably be enough to give him the flu. You sighed and stared up at the ceiling for a second before staring at him.

“Miles, come on.”

“What?”

“You’re coming in with me.”

He stared at you wide eyed not expecting you to invite him in, after all that begging for him to stay away from you; inviting him inside your home was the least thing he thought would happen but of course he didn’t have a problem with it. All he did was smirk at you and raise his brows as if to say, ‘you bein’ for real right now?’

“You paid for my snacks, lent me your jacket in the rain and walked me home. It’s the least I could do, besides you’ll get really sick if you stay out any longer soaking wet.”

You walked in making your way to the elevator which only left him smiling, standing behind you at the way you were concerned for his health.

You paused then spoke up again, “So? ¿Vas a venir o que?”

He then walked up the stairs to follow behind you into the apartment muttering a low ‘well if you’re offering, might as well.’

Soon, you were left to contemplate if this was a mistake or not.

Because little did you know, this was gonna be a very long night.

★ translations: Que quieres ahora - what do you want now || no puedo más - I can’t anymore || pero te lo juro - but i swear || ese estupido - that idiot || hermosa - beautiful || quítate del medio o te quito yo - get out of the way or I’ll make you get out of the way myself || Amor - love || ya vete y déjame en paz, dios mío - go away and leave me alone, my god || vas a venir o que - are you coming or what

TAGS:

95 notes · View notes

chlorine-and-daisies · 24 days

Text

i see people with internet friends who gush about each other's work and write collabs and exchange ideas, and it's beautiful

people who have found their own voice and unique takes on characters

and i enjoy it on one level but on another level it's just like

i'm not good enough to deserve to be let into that

sometimes it hurts more to know that you're not a bad writer, you're just a mediocre one.

like i usually don't get hate or even constructive criticism (which btw i would welcome) on my writing, i've received one or two very sweet comments that mean the world to me

but generally i haven't gotten much of a response in terms of hits/kudos/comments, my stuff just flies under the radar usually, which suggests that a. i need to improve my summaries and tags and b. i'm just not standing out in this huge fandom

there is so much good and unique writing out there, and i don't have super original ideas, i tend to write things that are pretty simple and short and not super original

and also obviously my mostly canon compliant oneshots won't be able to get attention next to longer aus

and i'm young with lots of time to grow comparing myself to experienced writers but god

i often leave long comments on people's work and make recommendations and analyze what they're doing, i try to support others and hope that the friendships will come but it feels like i'm just here alone

because again i can't stand out

and don't get me started on that boop day which was fun but i gave Way Way More than i received and it felt like a popularity contest in a way

i wish i had better ideas, i wish i could write something more touching

i wish i was likable

i have enough knowledge to recognize good writing but not enough skill to write something good myself

i'm so painfully jealous

even in a large fandom the world is so small and so lonely

it's a self fulfilling cycle where the lack of reception translates into lack of motivation and second-guessing myself and writer's block

i finally scheduled a consultation with student health at my college today, something i should have done years ago

and as i take steps to improve my mental health i hope that i'll start to be able to interact with others in healthier ways and stop comparing myself so much

but for the time being it's just so hard, it's so hard

it's ironic how i joined this fandom because of my connection to aziraphale, someone who is also socially awkward and absorbed in special interests, but it ended up making me feel worse about those traits in myself

bc he is an angel and doesn't care about being cringy, but i am unfortunately human

my partner says i should take a break from tumblr if it's no longer fun for me

i probably should

#i'm chronically online and unable to take care of myself #i'm aware that this will not help me make friends it will likely make things worse #just getting it all out #just had to vent to someone who isn't my partner for a change

18 notes · View notes

dirtysvthoughts · 2 years

Note

i just can't stop thinking of sweet sex with seungcheol 😪😵 can u write a lil scenario/drabble abt it

a/n: oh my god, hey friends! it’s been a minute! last week was the atlanta svt concert (which was an AMAZING experience btw!), but the rest of the week i suffered bc i wasn’t getting enough rest 🥲 but we’re caught up and we’re back! i hope you enjoy this one! i missed writing for you guys these past few days!

this drabble/scenario features: seungcheol x female!reader

tags/warnings: established relationship, sweet, supportive “dirty” talk from both partners, basically all round good ole relationship vibes we all want and need in life

omfg sweet sex with cheol would be AMAZING - like you will feel heavenly bliss and the aftercare?! holy hell, why can’t i have him in my life..

imagine coming home after a date night and the whole night, he hasn’t kept his hands off you the minute he saw you. the whole date he kept whispering in your ear about how beautiful you looked, how lucky he was to have you, and how he intended on showing how much he loved you when you two were alone.

so when you finally step into your apartment and he closes the door behind him, he wastes no time. he closes any gaps between you two and kisses so tenderly, yet fervently. you feel your heat rising as you take off his jacket, moaning at how hard you can feel he is through his pants. you two make your way to the couch, your mouths refusing to leave each others.

“you’re so special to me, y’know,” he begins to undress you as he leaves you in your bra and panties, kissing his way down your body. “your personality, your beauty, your body - you’re the whole package and more.. words can’t explain how much i fucking adore you.”

you could cry in the tenderness of the moment. how did you end up with the most loving person on the planet? you’re so entranced by him that you almost don’t hear him talking to you.

“can i go ahead baby?”

“yes, make love to me like only you can.”

that was all the motivation he needed.

he adjusts and positions himself to thrust inside of you, and when you feel that first one - you thought you were ready, but he was already taking you to your edge.

“ch-cheol.. you’re so big,” you somehow manage to say through pursed lips and nearly teary eyes. “do you think you can go a little bit faster?”

seungcheol chuckles as he caresses your cheek and then gropes your breast, “sorry, sweetie - i intend on taking it slow today, wanna make you feel so good. you deserve to feel this way,” he grunts in your ear as he thrusts into you again, your wetness going straight to his dick.

“f-fuck, cheol, i-i don’t deserve you.. you’re my everything,” you loudly and sharply gasp when he adds a finger to the mix, softly rubbing your clit - and further pushing you to your blissful orgasm.

“you don’t deserve me? baby, i think it’s the other way around. you are my goddess, my light - i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“i. love. you.” he says dramatically as he brings you to a heavenly orgasm. hearing those three words from his deep voice felt so good to ears and to your core. but you wish it could’ve waited just a few more minutes.

“ugh, sorry,” you say regretfully, slightly pouting at yourself. “i wanted to give to you longer, cheol.”

“no need to apologize sweetheart, you are amazing and beautiful as always. did you ever notice you have a glow after your orgasm? i almost wanna take a picture of you like this.. all pretty and covered in your own juices,” he smirks as you bury yourself in his chest, lightly smacking it. you smile to yourself, hoping and praying that this feeling of happiness, peace, and security would never go away.

“i really meant it when i said you were my everything. i love you cheol.”

“i love you more baby.”

-kenny

#seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt smut #seventeen imagine #seventeen x female reader #seungcheol imagine #seungcheol smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol x reader #scoups imagine #scoups imagines #scoups smut #scoups x reader #seungcheol #scoups #dsvtt: answered asks

369 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 2 months

Note

You have a very broad readership; do you still, like most ao3 writers, use writing as a way to make friends? If so, how do you manage both to make connections and keep from uncomfortable parasocial engagements?

(admitting: I like your work a lot, I have a similar interest in writing trauma and recovery, I would like to befriend you, but I don't want to bother you bc lots of people want to be friend with writers they like and there's no way you'd have energy for all of them!)

Hi hi anon,

So...this response might be disappointing, but I didn't use fanfiction writing as a way of making friends. That's not why I started, and it's never been the reason for me to be in fandom.

(Thoughts about friendship and stuff under the read more, it's pretty personal so no obligation to read. The TL;DR is I am bad at friendship and I also am not like 'most AO3 writers' (is that really why most AO3 writers write?) in the sense that I never wrote fanfiction as a way to make friends and it's very weird to me sometimes that people actually do this as a motive).

When I turned up in fandom, it was a very private experience for me. I didn't know anyone else locally who shared the same fandom/s I do. When I shared fanfiction on Livejournal, I did so to complete strangers who I never got to know better, or to people who were already friends through other interests.

I've never gone to fandom conventions (there's few here, and I have severe social anxiety. By the time I thought about going I was in my late 30s, and just felt like I'd be too much of an outsider even among fellow outsiders - again, I shared almost no fandoms or ships with anyone I knew locally, and no one I'm friends with / know in person reads my fanfiction). Fandom was always an incredibly isolated experience for me.

When I joined AO3, it wasn't with a view to making friends. I was extremely burnt out, I'd quit my previous job as a professional artist because I couldn't see a way of making the income work out, and I just wanted to write a very angst-filled story that would help me deal with my loneliness which I didn't see as something that would ever change. Writing about a character who's experienced centuries of loneliness was like 'cool, yeah, I'm gonna write about him.'

I did end up making friends, but it was kind of by accident! And not all of those experiences were positive. One person in particular became quite toxic and cruel towards me, and I experienced my first kind of encounter with...I guess what I would call the uglier side of fandom life and also just friendship and relationships. It took me a long time to recover from that experience (and to learn what emotional abuse is), and after that I shut down and stopped kind of making friends on the internet.

I have made friends through the writing since (they're usually the mutuals I also have on Instagram, or here, or people I've DMed in Discord etc.), but I haven't really sought it out actively and I think anyone who knows me well enough that we've private messaged a few times, also knows that I'm quite aloof and reserved, and that I will engage quite deeply sometimes but then disappear for a few months (or years) re: communication, which is a remnant of a period of time where I used to get sometimes 200 Whatsapp messages in 5 minutes from someone who expected me to be accountable to her every second of every day when she was awake and wanted me to be.

On top of like, severe social anxiety + PTSD, and being very reserved in general, I would also say I'm very time poor. I don't have much time for the friends I already have and care about. I often view myself as quite a poor friend, who is not good at starting and even worse at maintaining connections. I'm also very private. As in, I will happily tell the world I have PTSD. But I won't tell my friends in a private conversation when I'm having a bad night, and I don't give friends many opportunities to connect. Even with really close friends, this is an ongoing issue that I'm working on.

So as for befriending, that's extremely sweet of you anon, but who I am in my personal life is sometimes very different to like... the way I can respond in comments or to anons, because it's actually easier for me to talk to strangers sometimes than it is for me to talk to friends, lol. I honestly think some of the people I consider my friends don't even know that I do, because I don't really behave like one. I chat online regularly to one person only, and one other person intermittently (and they're a romantic partner) and that's it. Everyone else I chat to pretty rarely in DM. But I do turn up in the Fae Tales Discord every day.

I don't actually think lots of people want to be my friend, tbh? Not in a 'woe is me' way, but simply because I think some people do grok that kind of... polite distance or that sort of warm 'I care for a lot of people but I am also quite personally walled off' kind of way. The good news is a lot of the folks in the Fae Tales Discord also share a lot of interest in writing trauma and recovery, or have those experiences, and I know a lot of good friends have been made within the like...faedom itself. A lot of neurodivergent, trauma-focused folks have met each other through this writing, and it's really cool seeing the different friendships that have sparked up between people. There's a lot of extremely like... skilled, talented, interesting people that I've met through this job, who I admire, respect and want the best for, and am very happy to talk to.

But yeah I'm a bit difficult to befriend, anon, and that's been an ongoing thing all my life, tbh. But it did specifically get worse in fandom because of some early fandom experiences when I started out in Rise of the Guardians fanfiction.

#asks and answers #personal #pia on fanfiction #tbh the idea of writing to make friends #is very strange and even a bit offputting to me #not that other people do it like i'm happy for them if they do #but it's just so far apart from why i started #i like making connections with my writing don't get me wrong #and i love meeting different people #but fandom was never a very social experience for me #to this day i hate discussing fandom headcanons with other people #and i don't like a lot of fandom meta #i always feel like i'm in fandom #and that i contribute to fandom #but in a very satellite / outsider kind of way #that's why i find it so easy to bounce from fandom to fandom once i'm done with a fic #i'm not saying i don't make friends with people in fandom ever #i'm saying i don't really make friends *in general*#and when i do those people often have no idea they are a friend because i'm not #very connected on a regular basis

18 notes · View notes

julysn · 1 month

Text

fanfic ideas

(i would totally write these if i felt motivated. but i don’t. so now u have to listen to me.)

fandoms i had in mind: south park, unwind dystology, tcoaal. but these can be used for any fandom.

a/n: HI HELLO i would like to see these happen. so im dumping it on YOU. you’re welcome. most are x reader focused bc i have wrote those all my life, but u can switch these up idgaf

writers i see u sprinting at me from a mile away. it’s okay. slow down bookie. it’s okay i’m here.

ALSO IF YOU USE THESE GIVE CREDIT FOR INSPO 🙏 just put my user somewhere visible on the masterlist/notes or tag me 😉 it’s not that hard pookie

# south park ──

and yes u can use these ideas for any other piece of media. just give credit i am BEGGING 😭🙏🙏

— … unwind au. HELLO DO WE SEE THE VISION WTF?? cmon guys. stan and kyle being connor and hayden WTF DO U GUYS SEE IT wjat. kyle as connor definitely they’re pretty similar imo

— fingerbang au where it has four separate endings for the main four. but y/n is a stylist/manager/makeup artist (if u need it.. look up kpop fics for inspo)

— instead of tolkien and his parents moving in across tegridy farms, it’s y/n. yeah that’s all i got

— doubling down except heidi’s y/n, and y/n doesn’t get back with cartman.

this was one i attempted writing a WHILEEE ago but never really. yk. got the hang of it.

but basically to sum the idea up, it’ll be the entire doubling down episode except extended. like, it could play it longer and extra scenes (ex. extension of the dinner scene where they make fun of cartman to heidi, every scene in the montage written out)

— childhood best friends to enemies to lovers where y/n had a big fight w the love interest days before they moved. but then they move back to south park and (not surprisingly) they got a glow up and they’re hot now! so everyone tries to flirt w them but the love interest catches their eye and they’re still enemies ofc but they catch feelings

— this is more of a oneshot, but y/n asks someone (or a set of people) to get matching sanrio pajama pants. yeah. do whatever stinks

— high school au. where y/n is a sad emo loser and the love interest is popular. and they lose a bet and have to ask solemn little y/n out but y/n says yes so the love interest is like “….. im gonna break up with them after three months.” but (spoiler alert) THEY FALL IN LOVE!

bonus points for angst w happy ending. like y/n finds out about the bet or something and then the love interest is like “NO PLS. I NEED U. U DONR GET ME” and they’re vulnerable and desperate and y/n’s like “okay! 😊😊”

idea. hi. i have idea. y/n gets bullied for dating love interest so they’re protecting sad little y/n bc they feel bad and it’s really cute and love interest thinks “…….:…. why is y/n kinda cute.”

— DETECTIVE KYLE X CRIMINAL Y/N PLEASE IM BEGGING??? i Love him i Need This. ARAAAAHHHHH

— angel y/n who is pure and innocent but NOT NAIVE! please do not make y/n sound like how those 2013 wattpad fics would’ve made her sound. demon love interest.

is it just me or y/n is a separate entity. she’s banging every character in existence like what. also i’m not religious so i wouldn’t really know about this stuff

# unwind dystology ──

— au where risa isn’t in a state home and she has cool foster parents. and she has to babysit lucas but one day she meets connor bc he’s home (shocker!) and they become friends and he slowly stops being away from home to see her 💘💞🩷

— CAN WE GET SOME X READER UNWIND FICS PLEASE

— au where y/n gets hired to be connor and risa’s bodyguard. and risa has her gay awakening so connor and y/n get to know each other and fall in love!

— blind date hayconrisa. how will this happen? idk ask urself

— high school au. again. why am i so obsessed w high school au’s IM BARELY EVEN A FRESHMEN DAWG 😭 but anyways fake dating haycon. like maybe connors trying to escape from his admirers so he agrees to fake date hayden.

surprise surprise. THEY FALL IN LOVE THOSE GAY FUCKERS

— mermaid risa x sailors connor and hayden. i live laugh love hayconrisa.

— jackson wang party and hayden gets DRUNK (boy u are not old enough to be drinking!) so connor takes him home and takes care of him

— rockstar au. do we smell it

— guardian angel hayden who is never serious to the point connor’s like “….. are u seriously my guardian angel wtf”. but haycon. i lov haycon

— LIFEGUARD AU. LIFEGUARD CONNOR IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. WHERE ARE THE ARTISTS I NEED U

— risa or hayden has to tutor connor bc his dumbass is failing every subject (high school au)

— underage smoking + shotgun kisses in the graveyard…,,…. hayden somehow gets weed so he shares it w connor and risa and maybe haycon/conrisa shotgun kisses oneshot. hear me out hello

— yo chat can we get some more unwind angst w happy ending

— greek god/goddess au? dunno how that’s gonna work but i just came up w it

— LOVE BAND AU. connor being sad emo guitarist with a hot keyboardist girlfriend

— au where lev did clap at happy jack…,…

# tcoaal ──

i cooked way too hard w these. someone better write one of them and tag me (we’ll get married in a gorgeous cathedral if u do… 🌝)

also IK THESE ARE MORE FLESHED OUT THAN MY SP AND UNWIND ONES! it’s bc i prefer multi-chapter tcoaal fics

— me trying not to mention unwind au whenever i think of writing fics for other fandoms. NO BUT SEEEEE it would work so well. like maybe the graves parents wanna unwind ashley and andrew somehow finds out so him and ashley run away (andrews.. uh, 17? and ashley’s 15 prob. u gotta know the unwind lore for this to work)

maybe they’re like starkey when he killed that juvey cop. maybe they do kill juvey cops. maybe

— 1980s AU OMG where it takes place in the united states (did europe have a lot of arcades back then? but anyways. the united states had more arcades so let’s just say it takes place there) and andrew is the sad emo loser at the prize counter.

and y/n is babysitting for some kids when she (not specifically fem reader but i have a habit of using she/her when talking about y/n…) decides to take them to the arcade bada bing bada boom

and the two meet at the prize counter and they hit it off really well despite andrew being an absolute ass. and the kids are like “….. are they flirting” so then y/n begins to take them to the arcade more often to see andrew 💞💞🩷💘💘💞 and they get to know each other outside of him being at work

— nsfw ashley x y/n x andrew threesome smut where they take turns FUCKING y/n RAW!

w/ plot: ashley and andrew are both head over heels for y/n and they’re arguing over who gets to have you because.. um. idk. and then y/n shows up somehow and she’s like “guys what—“ and they immediately begin flirting with her

so she’s like “i like the both of u WANNA SEX” or something (cmon im not good at porn w plot) so they… yeah. they BANG!

— government detective/officer y/n who gets sent to track down the graves siblings. she finds them w a colleague and is sent on an undercover mission to somehow befriend them, get close to them and lure them into a trap where they get arrested

but in the process (surprise surprise) she falls for them! and there’s four separate endings. one for if y/n picked to save andrew, one if y/n picked ashley, one if y/n picked both and somehow kept her job and one if y/n eventually hid her feelings and just let both get arrested!

maybe even some epilogue chapters for all of the choices. like for the first two it’s y/n getting spooned/spooning the other as they talk about what would’ve happened i’d they didn’t escape (bc y/n was smart and made the one who got caught walk in front) and the remaining sibling doesn’t know that y/n still works for the gov’t.. for the third one maybe y/n moves in w them and they’re all poly now? dunno. still thinking. and for the last choice maybe y/n felt guilty and went to visit them in prison to confess but they’re both extremely pissed

smut for this one would be crazy 😭 “technically i’m getting paid to get closer to them so it won’t matter if i let them make me cum right” typa sex idk

also. maybe y/n’s getting cornered in an alleyway by some creep and as she’s about to try and strike andrew and ashley save her! and that’s where the attraction starts because she’s like “wait.. they kinda have morals.. like kinda”

— now hear me out i might b cooking w this. rock band au. ashley does drums, andrew guitar, y/n something else maybe singer bc she’s a talented queen. and they’ve all been friends since childhood and ashley doesn’t really have a problem w y/n bc she hasn’t made romantic advances on andrew and occasionally lets the two hang out bc yk. ashley. anyways something something something idk

— i have one thing on my mind. catgirl + catboy ashley and andrew who both meet y/n as she’s their parents’ neighbor who’s smoking on her porch. and they approach her for some reason maybe andrew wants a cig and y/n is the funniest person alive so they both grow a liking to her

love love love catgirl ashley killing her victims and then poking them with her tail as andrew just stands there like wtf

#give cred if used #give credit #julysn #julia’s fanfic ideas #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic ideas #fanfiction ideas #fanfic writing #writing #writing ideas #unwind dystology #south park #the coffin of andy and leyley #south park x reader #south park fanfiction #scenarios #writing scenarios

10 notes · View notes

overlydramaticinephile · 2 years

Text

Head over heels in love.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader (no physical descriptions)

Summary: Steve goes with Y/N to an admissions college party and things don´t go exactly as they expected. (Yep, keeping it vague bc i suck at summarys)

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: Based in the beginning of season 3. Arguments, fluff, and a tiny bit of angst. Steve is one year older than reader. Some curse words. (English is NOT my first language)

A/N: Hi! Tbh I thought I would only write one fic but I got super motivated to do like a whole different scenes from Dawson´s Creek and incorporate it to Stranger Things somehow…so yeah- hope you guys enjoy! <3 thank you so much for reading my other fic too!

------------------------------------------

Steve found himself outside of Hawkins High waiting for his girlfriend to come out so they could hang out, it's been a while since they had their fun, you know, with Y/N worrying about her college applications and Steve working full time at the new mall.

When Y/N didn't show he decided to go inside what could be described by many as the hell hole. Steve was a little nervous, but he had to do something, so, he walked in and started looking for the Y/H/C girl. After what seemed like an eternity of looking and asking around, he saw her going down the stairs by herself and he thought it would be the perfect time to surprise her.

“Steve! what are you doing here?”

Steve moved very quietly to where Y/N was now standing and picked her up from behind causing her to yelp for a moment until she realized what was happening. They both started to giggle in a way that would make lots of people throw up. It was way too adorable.

“Well, Missy, you took a while and I decided to come to look for you”

“Right…sorry, I was looking at the last details for the party on Saturday night.”

Oh, yeah, Steve remembers 'the party'. “Do we have to?” he whined.

“Yes, Steve, we have to,” said Y/N for what felt like the tenth time.

“Well, have you thought about hiring an escort? Because from what I'm told you can't take me anywhere.”

“I called around, but they're all out of socially-presentable man-meat.”

“What if I just broke up with you? What would you do then?”

“Look, do what you have to do. You're still coming with me.”

“Fascist.” Steve sighed.

“Scaredy-cat,” said Y/N with a dramatic shocked voice.

“Are we at least gonna have a good time?” he said hopefully but deep down he knew it wasn't very likely.

“My guess is no.” Why sugarcoat it?

“So why can't we just say “Nay” to the whole idea of hanging out with the prep school contingent, and go over to Dustin's party?”

"Because, Steve, that would severely diminish my chances of getting into college," she said a matter of factly.

"Well, when you put it that way--"

"Stevie?" she started doing that pouty face that melted Steve's heart. Every. Time.

"Yes." he looked down, it was hard to look at that face and stay in check with your initial argument.

"You know how important this party is to me."

"Yes, I know," he said in a whisper-like voice.

"And being in a relationship means that sometimes you have to do things that you don't particularly enjoy for that other person."

"Yeah."

That made Steve finally look up. "Oh, hold on. Do you think that I enjoy those dinners for one second? For the record, we could stop those at any time." his voice becoming more excited.

Y/N decided to continue to prove her point. "You know, for me, that would be Sunday dinners with your parents."

Steve chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I really am. Is it working?"

Y/N could read his intentions. At the end of the day, she knew him better than anyone. "I know you're still trying to get out of this party."

"It's like watching a train wreck." She deadpanned and gave him a kiss on the cheek with a grin on her face.

Later that week

The couple started walking with arms linked to each other. Y/N was wearing a simple black dress that cut at the knee with some sensible black heels. Steve, on the other hand, was wearing a suit, which Y/N haven't seen him in since his graduation day. Let's be real, he looked extremely handsome, with his perfect hair and that smile that could cure disease.

"You know, we can always just turn around. Which would, of course, be incredibly cowardly."

Walking through the stairs you could tell Y/N was nervous by how she kept furrowing her face making her look worried. Steve like always, noticed that.

Y/N breathed out. "Yet sounds incredibly appealing." she let out a nervous laugh.

By this point Steve couldn't take his eyes off her, he felt truly lucky to be able to call her his. Lost in thought he couldn't help but smile.

Y/N looked at Steve with confusion in her eyes, yet his face also made her smile. "You're grinning like an idiot."

"Yeah, I know. I can't help it," he said with such a gentle voice.

"Why?" She was beginning to get nervous. What could he possibly be smiling about right now?

"Because…I'm the only guy at this party who gets to walk in with Audrey Hepburn on his arm." Yep. Steve in love was a total sap. No one can convince us otherwise.

-------------------------------------

"You've certainly been quiet tonight, Miss Y/L/N."

Steve and Y/N sat at the table with Walter, the head figure of admissions. Making Y/N even more nervous if that's even possible.

Y/N chuckled awkwardly. "Just soaking it all in, I guess."

"Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

Damn, could this get any worse? "Um...there's really not much to tell. I'm pretty much your average teenage girl," she said with a tender smile that she hoped would hide all her insecurities right now.

By now Y/N was hoping for a miracle that would make things less awkward.

"Having reviewed your application, I hardly think so. I seem to remember a certain fondness for art. Have you been to the Guggenheim?"

"No, but I have always wanted to go to New York..."

"Well, the building itself…It's really the most amazing feat of construction. It's an extraordinary combination of intersecting shapes. It's an architectural epiphany."

Steve could tell how uncomfortable Y/N was, she had this embarrassed look on her face so he thought it wouldn't hurt if he cut in on the conversation.

"Nah, I don't know. You ask me, the thing just looks like a big artichoke."

Y/N turned to him in total shock and so did the other guests. Silence overcame the table until of course Steve kept talking.

"No, I'm serious, it does."

Walter looked intrigued by his comment. "Oh, so you've been?" you could tell it was a genuine question with genuine interest.

"Well, no, but my parents, their big architecture buffs, and they're into those coffee table art books. So, I've seen all the pictures, and I'm here to tell you, it looks like a big artichoke."

After what felt like the most awkward tension they had ever lived, Walter started to laugh, making everyone laugh with him like some type of clockwork.

"Big artichoke. You're right. It does look like an artichoke." he seemed to not be able to control his laughter. Y/N smiled confused and gave a little laugh at the scene.

----------------------------------

"So, then the Rabbi says, “Rectum? I damn near killed 'em!”

Y/N seemed to not be able to make a profound conversation like she hoped to make the best impression. She just sat there contemplating what she could do to make this better while Steve here was making Walter have a great time with his funny little comments. Y/N knew Steve had always been a social butterfly, he used to be “King Steve” for a reason. But she certainly wasn't expecting him to enjoy this so much after the crap he gave her earlier this week about the event.

Walter kept laughing the entire time. "Good one, right?" said Steve with that smile.

He was nearly choking by how much he was laughing at this point. While Y/N just could help but be a little jealous of Steve's social skills.

"It's very good. Y/N, I had no idea your boyfriend was such a charmer."

She gave a fake smile that only Steve could read. "Who knew?"

Walter got serious for a moment. "Emerson could use a young man like you, Steve. Why haven't you applied?" Well, this got interesting.

Y/N saw this as an opportunity to get some time in the conversation. "Yeah, Steve, why haven't you? She knew the answer, he didn't get into any college yet and his parents were trying to teach him a lesson by making him work his ass off.

Steve got quiet for a moment trying to think of an answer. "Well, I-- To be perfectly honest, uh, both of my parents are real big lefties, so for me, it's Yale or nothing."

"Well, that certainly is our loss." Walter seemed genuinely sad at that answer.

Y/N had enough by now, she didn't understand what the hell was happening right now.

"Hey, Steve, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah sure." he seemed very calm.

"Outside. Excuse us." she faked a smile again.

--------------

Y/N started to walk as fast as she could, and she looked pissed.

"Steve, I can't believe you just did that."

"Just did what?" he didn't see any problem.

"You lied!" she got more and more desperate by the second.

That's when Steve started to understand where she was going with this.

"Hold on a second--"

"After that whole pseudo-motivational diatribe, you flat out lied."

"Y/N/N, can I have the floor for just a second--" he really wanted to explain what was going on inside.

"Why are you trying so hard to impress these people?"

"Are you done yet?" he deadpanned.

She seemed to not be able to stop saying all her thoughts making it impossible for Steve to explain himself.

"I don't even know who you are right now." she sighed.

"All I'm try-"

"Excuse me, Steve. Excuse me. I would love for you to meet the dean. Do you mind, Y/N?" Walter seemed very excited.

And of course, with their luck, they were interrupted. By Walter of all people.

What was Y/N supposed to even say to that? "Course not." she fake smiled for the third time that night.

"Sure," said Steve, looking at Y/N with an unreadable expression while he turned the other way.

Walter started to chuckle. "He's a great guy. An old friend. I'd love for him to hear the, uh…"

"Two Rabbis."

"Yeah." He laughed.

--------------------------------------

Y/N sat at one of the benches outside and couldn't help but cry. What happened tonight? It clearly didn't go as she wanted, and sadness took over her while she sobbed. She didn't even notice Walter coming back outside.

"Hi, Y/N," he said with an understanding tone.

Shit. Y/N thought. She wiped her tears and acted like he didn't see her crying her eyes out just a second ago. "Uh, hi, Mr. Kubelik, um…I'm sorry, I…I think I need to apologize."

He was confused but calmed. "Really? Whatever for?"

Y/N sighed. "Well, I think I blew it tonight. And it's just, um, this is kind of a whole new world for me, and I, um, I don't really know what to do or what to say, and I know that I don't fit in very well--"

"Y/N, you didn't blow anything. Your academic record stands on its own. You're a stunningly bright young lady. No one is grading you on your social skills.

She looked a little more relieved. Like she could breathe again.

"Be that as it may, you couldn't ask for a better character witness than that boyfriend of yours."

Y/N looked up into his eyes confused and wanting him to elaborate on his last comment.

"Seriously. He just talked the dean's ear off, all about you. How you've changed him, how you've helped him. How he couldn't imagine a better life than one with you by his side. What a rare gift, to have someone say such things about you."

She couldn't help to smile a little and get all shy about it.

--------------------------------------

Finally, the party was over, and Y/N joined Steve after she said her goodbyes to some people at the event. Even though the last time they saw each other they didn't see eye to eye, the moment they looked at each other, they felt the need to be in each other's arms.

"Apology accepted," mumbled Steve.

Y/N removed her head from his shoulder. "I didn't apologize, Stevie," she said while furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"Well, no, but you were going to."

Y/N gave him a smug smile. "I was?"

"Yeah, you were going to apologize for bitching me out earlier." he was being pretty forward about the whole situation, you had to give him that.

Y/N started to match his energy. "And what about you? You're the one who lied."

Of course. Steve looked deep into her eyes so she could see his honesty. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was doing that all for you?"

Y/N's eyebrows shoot up. "And how, exactly, do I benefit from your distortion of the truth?"

"Well," he started to stroke her hair very delicately and continued with all he wanted to say earlier.

"Maybe I just wanted these people to see you through my eyes just for one night. To see this girl, this woman, who has more class and intelligence and beauty and grace than anyone else who's walking the face of the planet."

Y/N's eyes started to water; she opened her mouth to say something, but she shut it again when he kept going.

"And maybe things like this just come tumbling out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the really scary thing is--is…I think that they're true."

Y/N's heart melted but at the same time, she started to feel guilt and embarrassment because of her reaction earlier.

"Sorry, Steve. I just wanted to impress these people so bad, you know, to fit in, and I completely froze."

Steve cupped her face and with the softest voice, one could ever imagine he said. "Hey, that doesn't matter."

She took a step back from his embrace. Anxiety took over her. "Yes, it does! I've never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. And you--you just fit right in better than I ever will."

So that's what this was about. "Because there's nothing at stake for me here, Y/N/N. I have nothing to prove to these people. And Y/N/N, this world, is opening its doors to you. And when you step through, you are going to be such an amazing part of all of this. And wherever you choose to go, you're doing them the favor, not the other way around.

"You know, your mom should get a medal."

Jeez. Y/N truly was tearing up with a small smile. She would never get used to Steve's love words. It made her heart do flip-flops, to say the least.

Well, Steve wasn't expecting that, but he went along with it. "Mom? Really, why's that?"

"Because she raised the perfect boy. And maybe things like that just tumble out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the scary thing is, I think it's true," she said with the biggest smile.

Steve pulled away for a second, staying very close to her."Mmm. What do you say if you and I take our little mutual admiration society on the road? Please, can we go someplace we both fit in?"

They couldn't help but chuckle at each other's words making them have the most passionate yet tender kiss that day.

"Yeah. Let's go."

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED <3

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things #joe keery x reader #joe keery #fanfic

174 notes · View notes