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lighthousegod · 7 months

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Recently, my cis lesbian roommate made a comment about "he/theys" that kinda stuck with me. She said these people, on her dating app, were matching with her and ignoring that she had lesbian in her bio.

We'd had convos about whether trans mascs and trans men could be lesbians (im a transmasc person, but not a lesbian, although ive identified with the label before), and I'm all for he/him lesbians and trans men who are lesbians- I've researched, I know Stone Butch Blues, I don't think telling anyone they can or can't be anything is right.

So this sorta stuck with me. I went, "but. They probably identify as nonbinary if they use they, and even if they don't, trans guys sometimes ID as lesbians too." And she was like "well, but I'm not attracted to masculine people." And I brought up that she does usually like butch lesbians (who definitely use other pronouns besides she/her sometimes!), and she sorta brushed me off, saying there was a different "vibe" between transmascs who use he/they and butches (even though they... sometimes are the transmascs she's talking about???)

So I was like "well, do you have 'looking for femmes' in your bio or something?"

"No."

"Then how are they supposed to know??"

"I don't know it's just my preference!!"

It was super. Odd. I should say, my roommate is cis but uses she/he pronouns. She is, in fact, a lesbian who uses he/him sometimes, as he identifies as bigender *but not a man, ever.

I just find this all so confusing. I mean, let's think about it, fr.

So the popular idea today is that lesbians cannot be men, so trans men can't be lesbians.

Now, here's what that implies: if trans men can't be lesbians, then they are always in the same category as cis men. Now, of course, some trans men ARE in that category, usually binary trans men- and they're all men, right, so every man is under that umbrella. But still, gender isn't so simple. Trans men and transmascs have vastly different experiences between each other and especially cis men. This isn't to do with internal identity, but outward perception. Regardless of whether I'm a man or not, the world has seen me as a woman all my life. That makes it very hard to be accepted and comfortable in mlm spaces, especially when theres so much transphobia in the cis gay community. Plenty of trans men are stealth, or simply have a supportive community, and are welcomed like a cis man would be. But that's not the case for everyone, and not every trans man WANTS to be treated in the same way a cis man might.

But whatever, okay, let's go with that. Trans men are men and lesbian means non-man attracted to non-man, so they're not included cause it's invalidating to (some) trans men, regardless of if they've identified with the label lesbian for years or feel unsafe in mlm spaces bc of how overwhelmingly cis they can be, or whatever else.

So... what about nonbinary men, then? Nonbinary women seem to be accepted, not just nb fems but those who identify as both nonbinary AND a woman- so why are nonbinary men not?

"Because they have man in their identity and lesbians can't like men"

So.. what about bigender people? People who are both men AND women. They can't be lesbians? I guess not.

But let's say they can, and we're just excluding binary trans men from the term lesbian..

People often bring up "would you accept a cis man identifying as a lesbian?" As an arguing point here. Bringing it back to my original point, would you accept a "he/they"? What if they were amab, and had no interest in transitioning? Or a transmasc person who DID? I just saw a transfem lesbian saying she couldn't possibly let trans men with full beards into lesbian spaces as it was transphobic and wrong- aren't there transfem lesbians who don't want to shave or get their face lasered? What do sex characteristics have to do with it? I thought we were trying to avoid labels based on that sort of thing.

So at the end of the day, I guess it really is about the label of "man." What's that even mean? That's literally just a word. I'm so confused.

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trixabke · 2 years

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hihi! may i ask for a haikyuu matchup (both romantic and platonic)? i noticed that your matchups are still open for request and it just piqued my interest.

im a girl and an east asian, i have red-brown hair, black round eyes, a button nose, and round thin lips. im 5’1 and i have no idea what my body shape is (sometimes im an hourglass but sometimes im literally round).

for my personality, my mbti type is intp, i have a love hate relationship with doing homework, i have social anxiety to the point where i unconsciously answer people with a nod, shake or shrug, i love my friends but i find it hard to show affection, i get tired easily after hanging out for a few hours (my social battery just flies out the window), im most comfortable when im at home with family which results in me being ridiculously loud, i love procrastinating but i always get my work done before deadlines, i somehow have good grades too.

my pronouns are she/her and he/him. im not very much in favour of they/them but i don’t mind if people use that set of pronouns on me. im unlabeled but i don’t mind dating any gender at all (female, male, non binary, agender etc). im very confused as in real life i tend to prefer women more than men but in the fictional world i prefer men. but overall i really don’t mind what gender they are.

my hobbies are doodling, reading wattpad, ao3 and tumblr LOL, occasionally playing video games. my interests are maths (certain topics), obey me! (the game), saiki k, food wars, mob psycho 100. im a taurus sun, rising aries, sag moon.

im a very difficult person to love as the qualities i look for in a partner is someone who can make me feel wanted (unfortunately i have trust and abandonment issues). i get jealous quite often so i might need them to constantly reassure me. if they don’t do so i might resent them in a way after some time. i don’t have anything specific but i just want someone loyal and caring (not boring too). my love language (giving) is acts of service, physical touch, communication and quality time whereas my preferred receiving love language is quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, communication, expression of affection and love.

i don’t have any particular aesthetic i like as they all are very pleasing to me but i do like things that are more colourful and vibrant.

HIII

(I'm finally doing the excess amount of matchups I have smh)

I have a lot of matchups in my drafts so I'm really sorry but I didn't do a hc for the friendship, I hope that's ok :) (i made the rest kinda long tho,,, oops)

(romantic)

I match you with….

KENMA

honestly idek how you guys met

like the stars just summoned you to know each other

but in reality, it was probably you seeing a photo of him on one of your friend's phones

kenma saw you on kuroos phone (ur friends with one of kuroos friends whos friends with kenma)

then dun dun dunnnn

nothing happened

because you both have social anxiety and won't talk to the other one or bring it up to anyone (out of fear of having ur friend out you)

so like.... slow slow slow slow slow slow slow slow slow burn

finally, ur friend sees u like looking at him in EVERY photo he is in

GETS THE MFING MEMO

reaches out to kuroo and gets kenmas number

subtly slides it into you and says it's their coworker and they left something at work and asks u to text him

and kenma is like ?? tf I don't work with them

so obvi ur embarrassed but kuroo screams at kenma and makes him slightly carry the conversation

u guys eventually meet up in private (private by FORCE)

kuroo playing matchmaker fr fr

ur friend, kuroo, kenma, and u go to see a movie and ur friend and kuroo shove u and kenma next to each other

they tried to be subtle, its not subtle

kuroo and ur friend go to get gas in one car? leaving kenmas car at the theatre (WAS NOT PLANNED!!!! - kuroo)

id imagine it being late-ish and u and kenma sitting on a wooden slotted bench kinda awkwardly sitting there kicking ur legs

with the occasional conversation about the movie or how it was a bit chilly outside

eventually, you realize kuroo isn't coming back and your friend didn't just go get gas

n eventually you scoot closer and the night ends with ur head on his shoulder

the once awkward silence has melted into a comfortable one

this probably wasn't the first time you two have ended up ditched by the others

u both spilled u liked each other?? but before anyone asked you both had to be extremely sure u liked each other

once u ended-up dating I'd imagine it to be a really sweet relationship

like it's evident u both care about each other a lot

he would send a lot of really sweet messages and compliment the little things about you

like oddly specific things (ex; "I love the way your smile is a little crooked and how your eyebrows crinkle when your focusing) like VERY SPECIFIC

ur always getting "I had fun w u td :)" texts

u both get each other on like a social battery level and have a mutual understanding of a social battery running low pretty quick

both of u being intps adds another layer of understanding, especially in fights since you both process the same way

he honestly likes that ur jealous..?

like lets be honest he's bitchless so you don't have that much to be jealous of and he finds it attractive when you are (but won't do it on purpose and always comforts you when u need it)

he likes that you play video games and will try all the one you play and he also wants to show you what he plays

a lot of comfortable silence in your relationship

an understanding that when you're with each other sometimes that is enough

u definitely bring out his softer side but its not all soft with him

he can also be a cunt (in a loving way but not rlly but also yes)

you'll never have a boring conversation with him

(literally cut to the one manga panel of him telling hinata if he gets boring he'll drop him)

overall a really sweet, understanding, sustainable relationship

as always if you see any spelling errors no you didn't I hope you liked this, I'm sorry it took me forever to respond to the asks, I lacked motivation- I feel like this ran long but I had a lot to say >:)

don't forget to get some water and eat and treat urself with kindness <33

#haikyuu matchups #matchups #romantic match #haikyuuu #haikyuu!!#kenma fluff #kenma smut #kenma drabble #kenma hcs #kuroo fluff #kuroo smut #bokuto smut #atsumu smut #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #kenma fanfic

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tf2fansderogatory · 2 years

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My queer tf2 headcanons because look at them. That is not heterosexual.

Scout: defiantly bisexual but is in total denial about it, and unironically say's stuff like "it's not gay to find men attractive" and "all dudes check out other guys, it's normal".

Sniper: gender apathetic, doesn't care about what gender is or what gender people see him as, or what pronouns people use, and is biromantic, asexual, but not currently interested in relationship. I imagine him to be sex-neutral, not particularly interested in it, but not repulsed.

Medic: multigender and genderfluid, mostly identifies with masculine, neutral and androgynous genders, and if pronoun fluid. He mostly uses he/xer pronouns, but occasionally she/her. Xer's gay and bi-lithsexual (he's romantically attracted to non-women, and sexually attracted to all genders, but doesn't want his attracted to women to be reciprocated; lithsexual to women and fem-IDing people). Non-monogamy is the only thing he's ethical in.

Demo: genderflux non-binary man; he fully and always identifies as a man, but how he identifies as a man changes. Sometimes he's an androgynous man, sometimes he's agender but socially a man, sometimes he's apathetic about his identity as a man, and so on. He's pansexual and polyamorous, and loves the idea of having as many partners as he can.

Spy: super straight and Fr*nch /j

Heavy: orientated aroace and gay. He's demi-graysexual and demi-grayromantic, and doesn't like the idea of a traditional romantic relationship, but enjoys having deep and intimate connections with other non-women. He's sex-averse, but enjoys non-sexual forms of physical intimacy such as kissing, cuddling and holding, sleeping together (like actual sleeping), etc.

Engie: binary trans man, bisexual and placiosexual. He doesn't have a gender preference, but he prefers to be with other ace-spec people. Being placiosexual, he enjoys preforming sexual acts to his partner, but doesn't want any sexual acts done to him, which is why he'd prefer an ace-spec partner. He'd rather have no sex in a relationship then to disappoint a partner who wants to preform sexual acts on him.

Soldier: Soldier has a gender for every occasion. He feels like his current situation requires a man? He's a man. Does it require a woman? He's a woman. Someone just asked what his gender is? Gender is for cowardly Europeans. His gender is sort of fluid, sort of indescribable, but defiantly not cis. Also, he lowkey doesn't know what pronouns are. He's generally uninterested in sex or relationships, but if he were approached by someone for a one-night stand or to go on a date, he'd probably say yes.

Pyro: trans masc, non-binary, genderfluid, enboy, girlby, carnelian, opalian, panromantic, hypersexuality (caused by it's depression), aegosexual and objectum. It uses all pronouns, but prefers it/they and neopronouns. Their gender identity changes, sometimes it's more masculine, sometimes it's more feminine, sometimes it's genderless, etc. They have a strong sexual preference for men, masculine-aligned non-binary people and neutral non-binary people, but romantically likes all genders. They developed hypersexuality to cope with their trauma and depression, though are aegosexual; never wanting to act or preform their attraction or fantasies. Xe also loves objects, seeing different objects with different personalities, names, genders, etc. and has a deep emotional connection with cute and "childish" things, like it's massive collection of plushies, figurines and toys.

Sorry that this was so long, I just really love the TF2 team >:) /g

Wonderful.

Also I appreciate the spy's gender is french. Be proud of yourself 🇫🇷

#answered by heidi #scout #medic #spy #engineer #soldier #pyro #demoman #heavy #sniper #s42isrotting

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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years

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I love your blog soooo much!!! everything you say is just soo true. The thing about focusing on what we enjoy is so liberating. I focused way to much in trying to understand my undesirability to men, when I can just forget about men and not give them my imaginary time and just enjoy my attraction to women <3<3

aw thats sweet im glad that sentiment is helping u to find comfort and enjoyment!!<33 its so sad to me how many ppl think ur identity designates what u enjoy rather than vice versa...

as a lesbian talking abt it always feels like ur opening urself up to that judgement so i always immediately want to be like 'but i am personally really disgusted by men and the idea of having anything romantically or sexually to do with one is hideous to me!!!' but i always stop myself bc its like well... it wouldnt actually matter how i feel towards men though, because my autonomy is absolute on its own and if i know that i WANT to be involved with women and not with men then like.. the conversation can end there! in the mainstream imagination i feel like so many gay men's stories start w the realisation of their attraction to men, but lesbians' with the realisation of their non-attraction to men. my moment of absolute clarity was the first time a girl asked me out & i had the rapid realisation that like, oh i would ENJOY that, i WANT that, when i had been saying yes to guys who asked before just bc i was like idk...ig i dont have a reason to not. it sounds funny but like until that point i had literally never thought about what i might want, only like.. if id be able to stomach a serious relationship with a guy. so even though i kind of felt by then that the answer might be no, it hadnt really brought me any answers & it wouldnt have mattered if i had decided i could, because it was immediately obvious at that point that a heterosexual relationship with a man wasnt something i wanted for me in my life when i could have a gay relationship w a woman. i felt sooo free in that moment, not bc my feelings abt men had been conclusively revealed to me but actually bc i realised i didnt even gaf.

its kind of a double bind for us between the fact that heterosexual people need to be reassured that gay people are ontologically so in order to respect us (and not feel threatened by us😳), and the various layers of misogyny incl the expectation that we are passive participants in the equation of desire, which alienates us frm our desires & the very experience of desire itself, and also fosters the assumption that any ability to experience male desire will supersede anything else if at all possible so therefore it has to be completely ruled out to be allowed to ignore it. we need to prove that we are not CAPABLE of having a relationship with a man in order not to want one, whether right now or ever. so the fact i personally do feel genuinely unable to experience that without like genuinely wanting to kill myself feels like its basically irrelevant to anyone but me, and only self-determination matters to anyone else. i feel like im more interested in defending the right of other women to want&seek&enjoy sexual&romantic relationships with other women, regardless of why, rather than proving that i personally have done all my homework and can prove that i wouldnt be happy with a man. like wtf, women are hot and dating a woman is the most beautiful experience of my life, who wouldnt want to seek that out !! its irrelevant what the alternatives are bc none of them are preferable. the continued survival of this rhetoric in lgbt spaces only really reinforces that being gay is a bad thing to be and gay relationships are worse than heterosexual ones and no one would ever want that unless they had no other choice and i just soo strongly do not feel that!!

#ask #anon #um sorry..long-_-#always fascinated w how no1 bats an eye at the way gay men idolise divas for example #whichh ive talked abt in detail before so i wont ramble abt that too

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streaming-yn · 3 years

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hi! i'd like to request a platonic MtF trans y/n with Wilbur, and i'd also like to say i LOVE your posts. :D

Of course! Thank you for the support anon!! I'm so glad you enjoy my content! :D (also, I'm not sure if this is important to say but; I'm transmasc [writing this was so,, whoa yk? Not in a bad way ofc] so I know what trans stuff I'm talking about! Just flipped the other way around lmao) also!! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!! Kinda neat I got done with this during pride month I think! enjoy!!

Platonic!cc!Wilbur x MtF!reader

Pronouns: she/they

Other information on the reader:

. Variety streamer

. Minor

. Faceless

. Friends with Wilbur (obviously)

Warnings: hate (gets shut down quickly!), Transphobia (they get put in place tho), cussing

Form: headcanons

Summary: you and Wilbur are best friends! Your MtF trans and that can be really tough but it's okay you can get through it and Wilbur is here to help when you need it :)

Genre: platonic, angst (not a lot, just hate and transphobia but it doesn't last long!), Comfort :), fluff (?)

Abbreviations: y/n -> your name, u/n -> username (on twitch, Twitter, and in games!) (No streamer name for this! You're called by your name!)

You: *starts streaming*

LGBTQ+ Community flocking to you: omg hello my new comfort streamer

Okay but can we talk about your chat during the "starting soon!" Screen? It's kinda funny

Your chat on the waiting screen while you finish setting up stuff:

Hello!!!!

Hey lol *louder than everyone else*

Ahaha y/n you're so cool *trips over my enormous piles of money*

Y/N Y/N I WANT YOU TO KNOW I KNOW HOW TO COOK JUST THOUGHT ID LET YOU KNOW :)

I CAN ALSO CLEAN HAHA NOT SAYING THIS FOR ANY PARTICULAR REASON JUST LETTING YOU KNOW <3

Basically they're all just simps, the whole lot of them

At one time your chat was filled with "🎶yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning🎶" over and over

At one point Wilbur was like um hey?? Guys?? That a little weird?? Y/n's a minor and some of y'all r adults.

Chats quick to reassure that they didn't mean in a disrespectful / creepy way and if you ever were uncomfy with it they would stop (most of them anyway, there's always the little bit of really really weird and creepy chat members, but they'd get banned immediately!)

You said that as long as it was 100% a joke, no adults were saying it, and they didn't actually see you as a girlfriend / wife or whatever else that would be romantic then that's fine! :)

Wilbur banned some people from your chat on that stream because adults were getting mad like "if it's a joke who cares if non-minors say it??" "If everyone can't say it then no one should" "I swear minors just hate adults for no reason!" Etc etc, just insulting your boundaries :\ dumb fucks istg bro

It's okay tho bc they're gone now! Now what're they gonna do? Complain on Twitter?? They gonna get their asses handed to them + multiple reports bc that's creepy as hell

Wilbur hypes up your posts all the time!!!!

You post a pic of yourself and he's like yes!!! Guys look at my best friend!!!!!!

Everyone thinks it's really cute :)

At one time?? Some1 tried cancelling him for pedophilia??? Bc he complemented you?????

You, Wilbur, and other users had to explain that compliments don't equal romantic attraction

Like if you can platonically date someone you can sure as hell platonically compliment someone!!

Y'all's dynamic >>>

Because like, it's loving but you're also asses to each other

Like y'all will hype each other up and call each other best friends and stuff

but at the same time, you tease each other, playfully insult each other, etc

and yeah yeah that's normal friend type stuff but look me in the eyes n tell me the whole of the mcyt fandom / fandoms close to mcyt (ex: someone who's friend with one, someone on the dsmp, etc etc) isn't / aren't obsessed with any friend dynamic, you can't (/nm /lh /hj)

by association you're friends with Tommy, Phil, Quackity, and Charlie! :) you record modded Minecraft videos with them sometimes!!

it's a lot of fun!

also when you join vc tommy starts yelling about how you're a woman!! and women are pog!!!! chat look at my friend who is also a women and she's really pog and you should sub to her and donate and just go check her out

it was great to hear :)

also! during pride month, your subtwt is just like

hey guys <3 guess what <3 y/n is trans and really cool so you should sub and follow and donate <33 and if you don't you're transphobic /j

you make sure to address it and say that as long as they add tone indicators to show they're joking and people aren't actually transphobic for not subbing/etc then it's all good! w/o the tone indicators it can cause major anxiety in some and you don't want that to happen

also only trans people are allowed to make the "sub or you're transphobic" joke because a cis person saying that is a little weird yk

but! they can do it with their own thing! like for example, if a pansexual (using this as an example since I'm pan!) that was a fan of yours was super excited for a sub goal you set up or something

then they could post "gift y/n subs or you're anti-pan/panphobic/ you hate pan people/etc /j" because theyre pan so it's not weird ^^

when you get recognized in public it's usually really positive!! :)

also when you're able to, Wilbur is happy to pay for top/bottom surgery if you want it!!

I'm not sure if I said this but Wilbur's really protective of you! you're like his little sister!

if you have a bad day then call him and you can either talk about it just to vent, talk about it while he give suggestions on how to fix what happened, or just him distracting you from it!

the most often form of distracting that he does is talking with you about things you like to get you to talk about them! he'll steer the convo since you're too stressed to do so but he'll steer it in a direction that you like yk?

(actually though! if youre having an anxiety/panic attack or just a stressful day, get a friend to do this!! it's really helpful and a good way to talk about things you probably don't get to talk about much! it's really helpful and relaxing :)! )

never talks about these phone calls unless you talk about them first, also doesn't give any information away that you haven't already said! h knows it's hard to be vulnerable and wants you to feel safe opening up to him :)

and what I mean by "doesn't give any information away that you haven't already said" is that like let's say you had a call with him the night before you streamed and you mentioned it, he would basically repeat what you said but differently, no new information would be available from what he said

example:

you: me and Wilbur were actually on call last night and didn't get off til late! and we started the call after I got home from school!

Wilbur: yeah, it was really late when we got off call, I heard her hold back a yawn or two I swear

stuff like that yk!!

ALSO WHEN YOU, WILBUR, AND TOMMY INTERACT ITS SO :))

cue fans crying over the sibling dynamic, also a lot of people being like "I WISH I HAD A SISTER LIKE Y/N / BROTHER LIKE TOMMY / BROTHER LIKE WIBUR"

yk how Wilbur goes "don't say that I will cry" when tommy says they're like brothers?

add you into the mix and it's like

tommy: we're- we're like brothers, wilbur!

Wilbur: don't say that, I will cry

you: yeah!! we're like a family I think!! :D

Wilbur: y/n- y/n i WILL cry-

also if your parents know your trans and are cool with it he buys you a trans flag for your room or even to hang up out front of your house if you prefer! :)

taglist; @cvsmixplant

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living-with-pmd · 3 years

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11 Women With PMDD Share What It's Really Like

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is the evil cousin of PMS. They share the same types of symptoms—moodiness, increased hunger, cravings, fatigue, cramps, pain, brain fog, and depression, among others—but for PMDD sufferers, those symptoms get so bad they can cripple a woman's ability to lead a normal life.

While up to 85 percent of women get PMS, according to the US Department of Health, only about 5 percent of women experience PMDD, according to the American Journal of Psychiatry.

We asked women with PMDD what it's really like living with the disorder. Here are their stories:

"I was diagnosed with PMDD last summer. Six months prior to my diagnosis, I started taking a certain birth control and soon every month I was experiencing severe PMS issues. I am a generally happy person, but during those few days I was someone entirely different. I was extremely depressed and anxious, having much more frequent panic attacks, and was super sensitive and lonely. I was even suicidal, which was terrifying. And the worst part was I was convinced that I had always been this miserable, and that I would always be this miserable, and it was never going to change. It felt as if someone had completely burned out the light in me and all happiness and joy and hope was gone. I didn't make the connection that it was related to my period but thankfully a close friend did. I have since switched birth control, which helped a lot, and increased the dosage of my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. Most importantly, I am aware of the way I feel those few days so I know to expect it, and I can logically remind myself that I will stop feeling that way soon. Looking back, I realize that I've probably always had pretty bad PMS or PMDD. The birth control worsened it but it was also causing a lot of issues I wasn't aware of previously as well." —Katherine H., 22, Edmonds, WA

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"PMDD is out of control. I cry really easily for about a week. My biggest issue is that I am convinced that I am failing at everything—being a wife, a mom, work projects, fitness, my whole life! And even though it feels so real I constantly have to question if my feelings are valid or if they are amplified by my cycle. I just set an alert in my phone to remind me to consider my hormones the next time I feel that way." —Krysten B., 32, Toronto, CA

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"A week before my period, I become a complete psycho, completely unlike myself. I'm tearful, want to eat everything that's sweet or salty, have absolutely no tolerance for anything other than perfection, and prefer to be left completely alone. I already take an antidepressant but my PMDD was a complete nightmare so my doctor gave me Prozac to take for just 10 days a month. Basically, I start it when I start to get that irrational feeling and keeping taking it until my period starts. And that's just the emotional stuff. On the physical side, I have debilitating cramps, backaches, and headaches that last for days. Yep. I'm a peach." —Kristen L., 40, Knoxville, TN

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"In the past, PMDD almost made me suicidal and totally broke my spirit. Yes it wasthat bad. Every month. Eventually I got tired of being a 'crazy PMS woman' and decided I needed to fix this. Since I don't like to take pharmaceuticals, I branched out to homeopathic remedies and I discovered St. John's Wort and essential oils, especially clary sage and Doterra Calm-Its. It's a lot better now but I still have my hard days." —Amy S., 43, Zebulon, NC

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"My PMDD got so bad I had to go to a psychiatrist and be put on Prozac along with another antidepressant I was already taking. I was a mess—anxious, crying randomly over the smallest thing, and eating everything in sight. One example is someone made a YouTube mashup of the Age of Ultron trailers with Pinocchio footage and the 'I've got no strings on me' song and that wrecked me for weeks. Every time I thought about scenes from Pinocchio I would start panicking and crying at my work desk. It's been a few years and I'm better now. I'm off birth control and weening myself off the Prozac. I notice a week before my period I will sob during any sad part in a movie or book I'm reading, and a day or two before, I notice I'm more likely to be anxious." —Kate W., 36, Alaska

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"This has impacted my ability to work effectively. My pet peeve is when people say 'it must be close to your time of the month' when they simply don't like what I'm saying. I have run into that problem a lot at previous jobs and it makes it really hard to be taken seriously. It's bullshit because my feelings are valid regardless and also PMDD is not a joke. I am so lucky now to have a male boss who understands but it wasn't always that way. I have also have found a lot of relief with naturopathic and herbal remedies." —Amalia F., 28, Vancouver, Canada

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"My PMS was tolerable until my second child was born and then everything went off the rails. I'd be looking forward to plans with others, happy, and then about 10 to 14 days before my flow would start, my mood would turn on a dime. I'd be horrible—crying, screaming that ~nobody understands~, just so much emotional pain. I'd basically lock myself up in the bedroom for a full day to cry, get angry, and feel sorry for myself. It took three doctors before I finally found one who would listen to me before I was finally diagnosed with PMDD. I took Prozac for three years for it but it made me feel numb, like a zombie and not like myself. So I quit and my family just deals with me now. As I've gotten closer to menopause the PMDD is not as bad, but can be very unpredictable due to hormonal swings from perimenopause. The worst part now is I feel like my friendships have suffered. I always seem to have episodes around major holidays and events and I end up bumming everyone out if I do show up so I end up staying home a lot." —Colleen T., 50, St. Paul, MN

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"I'm overly emotional for the week before my period. Saying that makes it sound like it's not that bad but I get so distraught that my fiance has actually scheduled it in his phone as 'blood sport' to remind himself what's coming. I'm thankful that he's patient because I also feel like everyone hates me that week, too." —Kenlie T., 36, New Orleans, LA

———————————

"All month long I'm fine and feel even and calm and then suddenly, the week before my period, I can't handle even the tiniest little thing. My irritability goes through the roof (which is not great since I have a 5-year-old) and I feel like I have no friends. It really makes me sad." —Jessica S., 28, Broomfield, CO

———————————

"I know my period is coming because all of a sudden all of my joints hurt, especially my knees and ankles. I also get crazy gnarly cramps and once I even had a cyst that ruptured while I was on a date and the guy had to take me to the hospital! It was so embarrassing. Thankfully my husband now is very understanding when this time rolls around each month. The worst part is people who just think I make this stuff up. Some months are better than others and sometimes the pain is completely debilitating! My emotions are also a rollercoaster. Anytime I see something cute or inspiring, I burst into tears." —Ivie C., 21, Rexburg, ID

———————————

"My PMDD manifests in both mental and physical symptoms. From the time I got my period at age 12, I've had extreme cramps and heavy bleeding. I'd leak at school through a super maxi pad every class so I'd tie sweatshirts around my waist and have to scrub my clothes when I got home. It was super humiliating. I'd have to take six to eight ibuprofen at a time to deal with cramps, and if I didn't I'd end up on the floor sweating like I had the flu. Sometimes I'd even throw up. This meant I ended up spending a lot of time sick in bathrooms and knew where every restroom was at all times. Birth control helped manage the PMDD and other issues, but as soon as I was done having kids, I had a hysterectomy. That was the best thing I've ever done." —Mandy P., 39, Mendon, UT

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19972132/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder/

#premenstrual dysphoric disorder #PMDD #pmdd awareness #living with pmdd #actually pmdd #mental health awareness #mental health #women's health #pms #premenstrual syndrome #afab problems

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pluviophile-imagines · 3 years

Note

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧#anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

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reidsmissmatchedsocks · 3 years

Text

sexuality headcanons for the bau!!

hotch - this man screams bisexual to me and i dont even know why. he just gives off the vibe. i feel like he has a preference for women but still very much loves men. emily was the first person he came out to (gideon had known but he found out on accident when hotch forgot to change the pronouns while talking abt an ex) since he knew he could trust her with that sort of thing after she came out to the team. shortly after haley died he decided he was tired of hiding this part of himself and came out to the rest of the bau, starting w rossi and then telling reid, morgan, garcia and jj at the same time. they were all very supportive and garcia gave him a little bi pride flag for his desk :)

emily - gayest bitch in the whole show. this woman takes wlw simping to a whole new level w the yearning shes been doing for jj for the last decade. she came out to the team very randomly while they were out at a bar. she slapped her hand on the table and said loudly, “id just like u all to know im a homosexual” and then walked out. everyone was kinda dumbfounded at first but obviously very supportive and happy she felt comfortable enough to tell them. she goes to pride every year and owns a lot of lesbian pride flags. morgan always laughs at her and teases her whenever he sees her obviously checking out someone and is happy he has someone to comfortably talk to abt girls. she gives the guys dating advice claiming shes “the master of dating women” even tho it took her over ten years to build up the courage to ask out jj. rossi finds this fact very funny

garcia - this woman is pan and u cannot tell me otherwise. fuck gender she loves everyone and is only interested in a persons amazing personality (since she prides herself on her ability to judge character) and how willing they are to flirt in public and how much they enjoy pda. garcia never really felt the need to come out assuming everyone just knew already but after emily came out she decided to keep a set of pride flags in her office and she has a pan flag on one of the walls plus an array of different pan themed things. one day rossi asked what the flag was for and she went in detail explaining different sexualities, flags and the significance. she finds the history super interesting and loves going to pride. she also wheres a little pan pride button on her shirts everyday because she thinks it looks nice :D

morgan - bisexual man. do i have to say any more? he never really came out but after seeing him flirt w enough guys while they were out everyone got the point. has a mini pride flag on his desk he got from garcia and a matching flag pin he wears on his shirts most days. he goes to pride w garcia and spencer every year

rossi - unlabled!! hes mostly had relationships w women but that doesnt mean exclusively. he likes men sometimes and has had relationships w them in the past but hes not quite sure which label fits him and thats okay!! hes never specifically stated his preference or sexuality to any of the others but they wouldnt be surprised if he got a bf, moreso surprised he got into a relationship at all

reid - biromantic demisexual!!! it took reid a long time to figure himself out, getting bullied a lot through school w various slurs thrown at him every day not helping. once he was in college he started to realize his attraction to both men and women and it scared him. he also felt like he was wrong for not wanting hookups or flings, he couldn’t understand the appeal. he pushed away a lot of his feelings, too scared of judgement from other people. that changed when he got to the bau tho, he had a family who loved and. supported him and he started to realize maybe it wasnt just him who felt this way. he ended up opening up to garcia after finding out shes pan and she lets him no they love him no matter what and theres nothing wrong w him. she helps him explore labels until he figures out which ones fit and gives him advice on coming out. he comes out to morgan first, hotch soon after, then emily, jj and rossi. they all are super supportive and loving ofc and reassure him that nothing can change their feelings towards him. theyre family.

jj - jj is bisexual!! she is obviously in love w emily but she also was in love w will for a long time. she never came out to the team officially but they all knew and she kept small bi pride things around her office. shes generally less of a gay mess than the rest of them but she definitely has her moments. she goes to pride every couple years w emily and sometimes hotch if they can convince him to tag along. she figured it out at a young age and never rlly doubted her feelings, just being happy w herself. she loves herself and her identity

#criminal minds #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #dave rossi #jj jareau #sexuality headcannons #headcanon #hc #none of the bau are straight and i stand by that #ignore me going a bit overboard #i wanna expand on the spencer headcanon tbh #i have so many thoughts #also i didnt add it in the post but morreid #and morcia #how abt morcied?#also jemily for the win

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lovelyirony · 4 years

Text

@ad1thi and i were having a very enlightening conversation, aka Tony’s bisexual and doesn’t realize it. it was fun!

When Rhodey first sleeps with Tony, it’s incredibly amazing. They had been talking, getting shakes late at night, and Tony suddenly asks if they can take this upstairs.

Here’s the problem: Tony doesn’t realize that you can like both guys and girls.

So when they wake up, and Tony says “You know I’m not gay, right?”

Rhodey’s kind of in shock. Because he laughs. It’s a funny joke. He literally just slept with Rhodey, and while Rhodey’s still a young guy, he can confidently say that Tony will probably always be in his Top Five.

Tony’s reasoning is that he still likes women. Rhodey is not completely confident that Tony knows what bisexuality is.

“You know that you can like both, right?” Rhodey says.

Tony blinks.

“Let’s not talk about this for another five years. Can you do that thing again with your tongue?”

Rhodey shrugs.

Yeah, sure, they can wait. Tony has pretty eyes, Rhodey would prefer to get lost in them. Besides, Tony will figure it out in time.

About three months later, Tony comes back from a meeting, strange look on his face.

“Rhodey, did you know about bisexuality?”

“Considering I’m dating one, yes,” Rhodey says.

Tony stills.

“You’re dating someone?” he asks. “Who? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rhodey snorts.

“Tony, you are adorable. You, honey. I’m dating you.”

“We’re dating?”

“Considering you always kiss me and hold my hand and call me nicknames and you’ve met my family? Yeah, we’ve been dating.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured you’d figure it out. You also told me not to talk about it for five years. So I wasn’t gonna push my luck.”

Tony pushes his shoulder.

“Ugh, you suck.”

“As of last night, that was definitely not true--”

“Gross!” Tony declares. “Gross! Also, Bruce wants to know if you’re coming to the improv show. Apparently he and Thor are gonna do something really funny with some of the audience prompts.”

“Yeah, of course I will,” Rhodey says. “Wanna get dinner before?”

“Already told Nat I would. Apparently she’s bringing a new friend.”

“A friend she’s interested in?”

“No, a girl she said eviscerated all of the business guys in her class. She says we’ll like her, especially you.”

“Interesting,” Tony says. “We’ll have to see her. Any name yet?”

“I think Virginia.”

“I’m going to ask her if she has a nickname.”

Virginia Potts is not exactly sure why Natasha asked her how she felt about chaos.

“Why?”

“You’re about to meet it in human form.”

She did not think that the guy in the hoodie with a bouquet of flowers on front and the guy next to him in a plain white t-shirt were chaos.

At least, that’s until the guy in the hoodie flings a grape across the cafeteria and lands it in someone else’s drink.

“I’m playing God,” he announces. He zeroes in on Pepper. “Goodness, you look like a goddess.”

Pepper stills.

“You’re always like this, huh?”

“He is,” the guy in the white t-shirt announces. “I’m Rhodey. That’s Tony.”

“I am literally never going to call you Virginia, I think it’s stupid that you were named after a state.”

“It’s a family name.”

“Even worse!” Tony says brightly.

“He doesn’t mean that,” Rhodey says hurriedly.

“No, he’s definitely right,” Virginia says. “I hate it. I just don’t wanna go by Ginny because then everyone asks if I like Harry Potter.”

“Struggles,” Rhodey nods. “I understand. My dad wanted me to go by Jim. I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be eighty right now.”

Tony snorts.

“Sit down for now. We shall figure out your nickname in time.”

They figure out the nickname ten minutes later when Pepper is trying to shake some pepper and salt into her soup and the lid to the pepper shaker falls off and dumps the whole container into her soup.

“Pepper,” Tony decides. “It’s Pepper.”

“No.”

“It is kinda catchy,” Nat admits.

Pepper it is.

Despite the fact that she wasn’t exactly fond of the nickname, it sticks. She puts it on assignments, goes by it, and when she loses her college ID, changes the name on it to Pepper.

“So I was right,” Tony says smugly after the improv show one night. “You do like it.”

“You’re never allowed to brag again,” Pepper warns. “But yes, I do like it. Now pass me my jacket, it’s cold out.”

The weirdest part to this whole...thing is that she gets crushes. On both Rhodey and Tony, and she is quite sure they’re dating, although sometimes they both flirt with her, and yeah that feels nice. But she’s not sure if they mean it.

Meanwhile, Rhodey is having a Crisis. And he’s not the one known for having crises, because that is Tony’s part of the roommate contract. Tony has the crises every two months, and usually about something like his nonexistent problem with his grades or something along the lines of family.

Rhodey had a crush. On Pepper. Which he should’ve been expecting, because she’s...well, she’s herself. Pepper is most likely the most capable human on the planet, has worn high heels to a full day of classes and not complained once, and can get Tony out of the lab with absolutely no bribery, which was thought to be impossible.

So he is having himself a bit of a crisis. Because he doesn’t want to stop dating Tony. Tony’s his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without him. But on the other hand, Pepper could also be his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without her.

He brings this up to Tony over a lunch at the dining hall.

“You too?” Tony asks. “Thank god, I didn’t want to break up at MacGyver’s Dive.”

“You were planning it to be there? I like there!”

“I know. But I hate it there, so I was planning on being petty as fuck.”

So it goes. They both come to the mutual decision to ask Pepper out on a date. This is all sorts of nerve-wracking because they want to treat Pepper nicely but she has seen both of them at their absolutely worst fashion choices.

She’s seen Rhodey wear neon green, which is essentially a war crime in the making.

You can imagine the sort of stress they are under.

But it starts with asking her to an evening coffee at a little cafe not too far from campus.

“What’s the occasion?” Pepper asks.

“What, can’t treat one of our favorite people on earth to the best coffee on earth?”

Pepper blushes rather prettily as she sits. Rhodey gets their coffee, and Tony entertains Pepper with a new story about the weird guy on his dorm floor that keeps decorating random doors with different animation characters as part of a school project.

They all sit comfortably, talking about life and school and the stupid people in Pepper’s communication classes.

There’s an ease of silence that overtakes them. It’s forty minutes to closing. They need to say what they need to say.

“So, um,” Tony says.

Pepper breathes.

“I like you both,” she says. “And I really wanna see if you guys wanna date.”

“This makes this so much easier,” Rhodey says. “Tony and I like you, we were gonna ask if you would go to the movie night at the student center on Friday.”

Pepper grins.

“Of course I’d like to. Grab dinner before?”

“Unless you want me to bring soup to the movies? Of course,” Tony says, smiling.

They go out of the coffee shop with hearts a little lighter, eyes a little brighter.

#NICE #lovelyirony writes #tony stark #pepper potts #rhodey #ironthree #that's what i'm calling it #we could also do peppertonyrhodey #also of COURSE tony doesn't wanna talk about it what is he emotionally stable? get out of town

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docholligay · 3 years

Note

Not from the prompt list, but: Tracer "helps" Winston find romance online.

1500 words and I hope you like it!

Lena was easy to love and hard to tolerate.

She was bouncy and excitable and it was nearly impossible not to get swept up in the joy of whatever it was that she had on her mind in the moment, which could be anything from the latest home improvement project to her idea for the eventual Overwatch mess hall, once she and Pharah got funding for a proper headquarters, to helping her friends improve their own lives.

It was that last bit that was sometimes the trouble, Winston reflected, when she turned her vibrating laser focus onto to you, instead of some other project or some other someone. What seemed such a charming light when shone on the rest of the world became a maglite to the face when it was on Winston himself.

“Think you should wear that jumper Aunt Lily got for you, the green one?” Tracer was barely paying attention to any protest Winston mounted, already halfway through signup on his phone, which was essentially a tablet in her hand.

You would think that would have alerted her to the absolute insanity of what she was proposing, but Winston had to remind himself this was a woman who had willingly competed to be the one to take a fighter jet through the time barrier. Impossible and insane were merely trifles to her, not quite comprehending that she was far luckier than any normal human being. Or gorilla.

“Lena…” he sighed, “I don’t want to--”

“Do you not care for girls, Win? “ She showed him the screen, “You know you can sign up to meet boys as well, it was only I assumed you’d prefer girls, because I prefer girls, and sometimes I do ‘ave to be reminded there are choices otherwise in the world--”

“That’s not it. I…”

If he were being honest, he would say that he had put the idea of romance out of his mind so completely so early in his life that he wasn’t sure what he preferred, or if he had any preference at all. He had known from the time he was a child and fled the moon colony that there was no one in the world for him. They were a strange and new class, the moon apes, unable to be loved by gorillas, feared by humans. They had learned science, and art, and and language, and math.

No one had ever spoken of love, of any kind.

Winston had thought love was untouchable at all until Tracer had come into his life and decided that they were the best of friends. She had seen something in him, and if his traitorous gorilla’s eyes had let him cry it would have made him weep with joy, this feeling of having a family, of having a person in his life who saw his warmth and tenderness. His family had grown, since then, and truth be known, he was really quite content with the close circle of Oxtons and Overwatch that he’d accumulated.

But Tracer had latched on to the idea of sending him on a date.

“What is it, Win?” She looked up at him, her body stilling for one moment.

“Lena,” he sat down on the couch next to her, “It’s not that easy, just to swipe through a bunch of pictures, and find someone.”

“No, of course not!” She laughed and grasped his phone again, with both hands, “That cute little bird I saw last week, Emily? Whatever tosser it was she’d set up with never showed at the pub, which of course was good for me, all told, but did ‘urt ‘er a bit, right? BUt she walked away with me number in ‘er pocket, and all of life’s a gamble, Win, innit?”

When Tracer got into the habit of asking questions, which were actually statements, Winston knew he was trapped in the tar pit of her boundless enthusiasm and love. She flipped through his phone, biting her lip as she identified the pictures where he thought she looked the most handsome, the most dashing, but were still recent enough that know one could rightly say he didn’t look quite exactly like them.

“Need to get you back to the gym, we do, big guy,” she laughed, “Surprised Fareeha ‘asn;’t marched you right in.”

“No one is going to want to date me, Lena.”

“Rubbish.” She did not look up. “You’re just shy, Win--”

“I’m a gorilla. No human being looks at me, and thinks--I’m lucky if they think of me as having feelings. I’m lucky if they just think I’m a curiosity. People--”

“I don’t think--”

“Lena, I took care of you for weeks! If I hadn’t, you’d think the same, you’d be friendly to me, you’re always friendly, but you wouldn’t love me except that you were forced to know me. That’s just the truth, I have to be forced onto people before they think anything kind about me, and it won’t happen on a phone app, or in a bar, or over appetizers. I know everyone loves you, but it doesn’t work like that for the rest of us.”

He hadn’t meant to snap at her so. And certainly, he had never meant to blame anyone but himself, with anything he said. But as she lowered his phone to her lap, the smile left her face, her shoulders sank, and her body stopped its excited, vibrating chatter. She softly touched her chest, looking down at the floor, a small glisten in her eye.

If he hadn’t convinced himself he was a beast before, seeing the deep hurt he’d caused the person he loved most in the world would have easily done it.

“I’m sorry.”

Her voice was small, in a way Winston had forgotten it even could be. “Do you really think I couldn’t love you ‘less you did all that for me? I only love you, ‘cause you do things for me?”

He reached out put his hand on her back. “No, I didn’t mean it that way, not at all. I meant that...before you, no one ever gave me a chance, no one had to, and so they didn’t, and that’s just how it works for me. Even now, it’s only you that brings people to me.” He ruffled her hair and smiled. “I wouldn’t have anyone at all if you weren’t here.”

She shook her head and looked at him determinedly. ‘That isn’t true, Win. Not now, if it ever was. You ‘ave our family, your last name is Oxton, innit? Wasn’t only me that offered it to you. And Ang loves you! ‘Ana too, in ‘er sort of grumpy cat way, and Fareeha’s a cactus as an ‘uman being, but she’d so anything for you, she would, tough as she plays, you must know that. It isn’t for me own sake they love you, Win, but for yours. ‘Sides all that, you made friends in Boston, right?”

He thought for a moment, on the group that surrounded him now, and how they asked after him, and how they’d embraced his birthday even though it was just another insistent invention of Tracer’s, how he never felt the same pang of loneliness he had for so many years. How he’d learned to make conversation more easily, and how to move through a crowd, and how Christmas now involved a passel of children crawling all over him, to his delight.

“Maybe it isn’t true.” He hugged her to his side, “But you did bring it to me, and that’s true whether you like it or not.”

She wrapped her arms around him, wide and tight as a starfish, as if she could embrace the whole of him if only she tried enough, and then rocked back onto the couch, folding her legs up underneath her as she popped back with a wide smile.

“What I’m ‘earing is that I ‘ave to go through these candidates and find someone who’d just be right for a man like you. Someone looking for a bit of adventure, but cozy-like. Likes big guys, who are warm, and--you know Win, I am a bit different as well, right? Every women I meet sees right off that--” she went to tap her chest and realized she was in Winston’s house, and thus her accelerator was in the corner, his house being adapted for her, and she laughed, ‘I mean, can’t ‘ide it, can I? Same for you, and it is a bit difficult, but you’ll see. Someone will look at you, and be ever so in love.”

He chuckled. Sometimes she spoke with such belief in the possibility of the world that it was impossible not to believe her, just a little. A thought came to his mind, and his eyebrow twitched.

“You will make sure...I mean, so there’s--people who are into ...animals, and--”

“Oh oh, god no, we’ll--we’ll get that just sorted right out, trust me on this, no one comes to you except through me, Win, promise.”

“I love you, Lena.”

She beamed. “And I want you to go put on that jumper. Oh! Pick up the apron while you’re at it, very domestic.”

It was a stupid, bold, and hopeless mission. There was no hope for any of it. But with her Tracer at his side, sometimes the impossible seemed like it just might be reached, if only for a moment.

#keyofjetwolf #Valentine's prompts

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hazbinextgeneration · 3 years

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Into the Casino Ch12

The trip back home wasn't anything he hadn't been expecting. She was quiet for the most part with only gazing out the window and him patting her arm in reassurance and smiling in glee. He had made good progress today. Found out a whole bunch of stuff for his curious mind to disect like a frog in class and exploit it when the time was right. But for now, he preferred to get home and get some greatly deserved rest. And that they did. But Amalfia still couldn't shake the....strange feelings she that was still bouncing around her skull. Mostly around one particular issue....Who was Lou? Now that question could easily be answered with 'He's your boss of course.' or 'He's the guy courting you.'. Or another number of things. The casino's owner. The one who helped her. Mr. Lou- But she wasn't interested in that. She still got a strange feeling whenever she stared into those red eyes. They held something behind that smile. She tried asking Cyber about him....buuut

"Eh- I don't think it's my place to really say. Everyone's past down here is personal to them. Why don't you ask him yourself? Ain't he supposed to be the one you're dating or something?" And her answer told her if she asked anyone else they would give the same answer or refuse...Frankly she did ask once or twice more about the topic, but he expertly dodged it and changed the topic back to her and asked her questions on her likes and interests. Not that she didn't appreciate he seemed to want to know about her but she barely knew anything about him. And this wasn't about to be another one sided romance with a man she barely knew. She wasn't about to be put through that thing again. Not if she could help it. But that idea was pushed back for now because after a few days of her normal routine of waking up by Cyber and working on whatever list Lou gave her for the day, she was surprised when one day when Lou came up and announced they were again going to that side shop he knew and getting her a new dress for her. She blinked and asked why. He chuckled. "The ball of course.~ You don't think I would let a beautiful young lady like yourself go in just any dress, did you? Oh no, no. My dear. Nothing but the best for the woman I ...adore.~" So once again she was whisked off into the car, down to the Black Market, and taken into that little clothes shop. But this time he introduced her to the small ladies who ran the place and beckoned her to be taken to the back...Well she wasn't to be taken back there by herself with two absolute strangers and gripped onto him as one tried to reach out to take her. Making Lou raise a brow and get to play the hero as he gently assured her and brought her into the back room himself. After explaining exactly what they were looking for, in Lou's words: "I want something resembling the radiance and grace of a peacock. I trust you ladies to work your magic with what I pay you." She blinked up at his request and rose a brow. A peacock? He wasn't going to ask her what she wanted in the dress? She didn't have to ask when she was ushered by the women and was made to pose out as they took measurements of around her midsection and chest, height, and strangely enough her arms. All the while she nervously glanced back between them and Lou who always gave a smile and those strange red eyes. And funnily enough, as soon as they were done it was time to go back home. All of that which took the amount of one hour to happen. He had no interest in stopping anywhere else it seemed, wanting to hurry and get her back home. In their hurry she didn't even notice Cyber had tagged along until she was back in the car. ...He was that much in a hurry huh? But once and a while-...The question and worries would still bounce around and cause her to sometimes space out in thought. But other than that, she didn't think about it once...That was until she was gathering dirty laundry to clean and when she picked up the very same dress Cyber had her squeeze into before that 'date' and wouldn't you know it? A small pink piece of paper slide out and she almost missed it if the golden shiny words written on it hadn't shimmered in the light and caught her eye as it landed by her hooves. Making her pause and blink at it. She slowly bent down and picked it up, bringing it too her face to read the small print. And those eyes lit up. This was-...This is the card Rita had handed to her. And the words were still neatly printed and bold enough for her to read the address and name of the club she owned. And an their conversation came rushing back to her. "W-Well he knows Mr. Charles-"

"Oh! Trust me. Those two know each other very well. They have past connections through their second businesses...Still do."

... ..... ......?!

Charles KNEW Lou. And he knew enough it seemed about him to have an actual past and enough to hate him....He could answer all your questions, a small voice whispered to her and her eyes widened. She could find out exactly what he was like. What he did. WHo he was. Her body lighting up at the excitement of it all....Before it all came crashing down. She wasn't sure how Lou would feel about her leaving let alone going to one of his rivals and talking with a man who clearly made it clear they hated each other even if Lou's smile hid it very well. He would definately be against the idea if he didn't tell her no first....And that's when the idea came to her. She quickly tucked the card into her dress pocket and grabbed the laundry. She had a certain set of Rules to check. ***************************************************************************************************** The familiar clanking footsteps of Cyber's feet came down the hallway. Another day of waking up Fuzzy and getting her groggy self ready to go do whatever Lou decided to haul her around to do. He was certainly enjoying taking his time with this whole take over plan. He was acting most days as if there wasn't any plan and looking through schedules and taking care of the fools betting souls and watching the flow of new ones steadily come to him. It what made him the powerhouse he was...but if this whole scheme of using her magic worked...he just might become one of the new overlords. She saw the lust for power he always had when he made contracts or one a particularly hefty pile of souls to add to his ever growing power and collection. But it always increased by a large amount when he spoke of the many things he wanted to do with her magic once he figured out how to extract it from her. But she still thought the party was a stupid idea. Too many people could see her for what she really was and it could turn into a real problem. She has TRIED to explain it too him- "I don't think this is a good idea, Boss. What if someone sees her? The horn is a pretty dead give away." "Cyber, you underestimate me. 'Sides, no one really feels any energy off her correct?" "Well...no. She radiates about as much energy as the janitor. But those outbursts though, big crowds and curious demons has a high possibility of causing a trigger to that magic, and to be honest...That one thing I might not fully be able to save you from." "Oh, trust me. I rarely ever make mistakes. And I have thought long and hard about this choice. If someone does find out or Rita blabbers her mouth, then we'll get 'curious' people who might want to take a peak and id the decide they want my dear pet for themselves, then it could cause quite the problem. Especially if someone on a higher level of magic and power catches wind of her." His red eyes narrowed slightly as if the thought made him slightly angered. "I already put too much time and effort into this already to have any set backs, and the very last thing I need is her dead or falling into someone else's hands.....Keeping her a secret is key, but now that word must've already gone around by the few times we went out ...and Rita- It'd be wiser to let others see she's 'weak'. Let them think I'm only humoring another woman for amusement like Rita already thinks. Hiding her now would only cause suspicion." Dang it! She hated when he had good points. But right now she had to wake someone up. So it was quite a surprise to her when she opened the door to shake her awake and she wasn't laying on the bed. Which looked made like no one slept in it at all. And the room was empty as well...Cyber blinked...Where was- "Cyber!" She whirled around to find said unicorn all groomed and dressed, holding a peice of paper, and smiling. "Sorry if I wasted your time, but I decided to get up early today to get my list done." She lightly shook the paper. Cyber still paused studying her but relaxed with a smile. "Finally getting used to the work schedule, huh?" "Oh yeah! Im hoping to finish everything Lou wanted me to do by noon. I wanted to ask him something important, but I think I can only do it i-if everything's finished before then." "Oh..And how do you figure that?" "Im in charge of his schedules. He's supposed to be meeting with an important client from the black market today about trading good with him." She rose a brow and hummed. "Well, if that's the case, then I guess I better head back. He'll be needing me on the floor if you're already up." Amalfia nodded. "That's what he told me. He's waiting for you by the lounge, and don't worry about breakfast. I made sure the cook made you and him something." Her brow rose further as she hummed again and made her way past her. Oh she was up to something. It was clearly obvious and she wasn't trying to hide it. So that begs the question. What was it? ..Lou was pretty interested too when he was informed, but he merely chuckled and told her they would wait for noon and see what she intended on planning on asking him. In the meantime, the busy floor easily took up their time as Lou did the usually laugh and greeting. Encouraging some poor bloak to bet more than needed or speaking with a curious few people who looked interesting to him. Every once and a while they would catch sight of her quickly running past with something in her hands or going somewhere on the upper floors, but that was about it. LOu raising an amused brow everytime she did go past. Time pasted. And guess who finally showed up to talk with him. The dirty man was definately from the scummier side of the city but Lou still smiled, shook his hand, and offered to escort him to his office where he usually conducted business...the one with carniverous plants and a heavy duty door in case things went south or if he wanted to do 'extra' persuasion. And on the way up, there wasn't any signs of Fuzzy anywhere. Guess she was busy doing something. So they opened the office door, gestured for the man to enter, he did, and was about to go in themselves- "LOU!! W-Wait!!" He paused and looked up amused when a white blur came jogging down the hallway towards them both. He watched with a smile as she stopped and leaned over with a wheeze. Trying to catch her breath from darting all the way down from where ever she came from. "I-I...*sigh* f-finished e-everything." "Marvelous. This must've been your fastest time yet. Now you can have the rest of the day off yo relax." He opened the door more and was about to enter when a rather rough tug was received on his arm and he was actually turned around by the desperate looking unicorn and ..paused in shock for a brief moment. "W-Wait! I-..I n-need to ask you something.'' "Darling, Im always happy to answer your questions, but as you can see-" He gestured to the inside of his office. "I have a very important meeting t-" "I want you to let me go out somewhere on my break." She snapped interrupting him. Which was a..minor shock to him. She had never done something like that before during her stay...how long has it been now? Almost a full year. Time seemed to slip by when you were planning and had her do the same things everyday. Her face was determined and her hands were still wrapped around his arm in a tight grip-...He blinked and quickly recovered. Cyber having an almost confused look. "Now why in all hell would you want to do a thing like that? Demons out there would use you like a rag doll til you were nothing but broken pieces on the sidewalk-" "According to your employee policy,which I happened to have read the whole thing last night-" She interrupted him again making him pause. "- employees are permitted to leave to other places on t-their break but to be back before their break ends and as long as they report to you or your floor manager first, and since I have the rest of the day that means I just have to get back before nighttime. Which according to your own policy is eight thirty for most day staff including me." ....He opened his mouth- "I want to go out and I-..." She inhaled. "I w-want to visit Rita's." Silence. Cyber blinked, caught off guard by what just came out of her mouth and one look to Lou, told her he was definitely not prepared for something as bold as that. As he just paused and stared down to her with a blank expression...before that smile came back and he gave a huff of dry laughter. "Now why on earth would you even want to go to a place like that? A pure being such as yourself would be eaten alive there-" "She invited me." Technically that wasn't a lie. Rita did invite her to drop by sometime for a chat even if it was never a personally invitation. Lou how ever gave slight narrowed eyes with that smile at the now suspicious situation. But paused again when he felt something on his hand and one dart to it gave him an answer as she intertwined their fingers with one hand, small rose ring glimmering on it, and her face turned into one of pleading. "P-Please. ...D-Do it as a favor for me. A-And I promise I'll make it up to you later." .....Red eyes blinked back to her. Those purple eyes giving an honest look...and something jolted in him."....I" "HEY!!" They all turned to the impatient looking man waiting for him. "Are we conducting business or are you playing cutsie with the dame?" "Oh..Of course! This won't be but a moment!" He slowly turned back to her with a forced smile. Cyber could tell right away he was holding back the urge to just say no for sake of not being rude to her and ruin any progress he had made....But this was RITA they were talking about and Charles was there....Those two could easily ruin everything. But for some reason....This gal was dead set on going and by the sudden surprise and bold display they just witnessed, she wasn't about to take no easily....He could've just easily let Cyber take her but...his eyes side glanced back to the man. This guy claimed to have angelic weapons. Usually most if not all were instantly bought off the market usually by higher and the strongest demons to increase their own strength and to help prevent these things from being used on themselves. He had a chance to gain quite a few if this gentleman did hae some like he claimed and if this deal went right...Which means he NEEDED Cyber's backup......Which meant his brain had to bust into over drive and form a plan quickly....And this one involved the only other capable person he could trust at this moment. With a sharp inhale between clenched fangs, he turned back to her with a smile. "Very well....but on the condition. You don't go alone. Cyber and I are in a very important meeting so Disease will be accompanying you there and back...I would like you to stay close to him. If you agree, then you may go." She stared at him, before sighing and giving a smile with a nod of the head. "Y-Yes. Yes! Of course!" He hummed and turned to Cyber. "Get him immediately. Now." She didn't have to be told twice as she literally ran off without saying another word and he sighed- The further closing of her hand around him made him look back to her smiling face..and pause again. "T-Thank you. I-I know how you must feel about this, but I have to do it....I-It'd be rude to not show up." "...Yes. Not showing up when expected can be rude." They stayed like that for a few seconds, tensely waiting and while they were she slowly released her grip from his hand. He slowly flexed his squeezed fingers out, looking to them for just a moment, before putting his arms behind him back just in time to see Cyber rushing around the corner with a confused Disease in tow. He blinked as she pushed him forward and they stopped right in front of them. "Uh...You wanted me?" He sighed. "Yes. My darling here-" He nodded to her. "-wishes to visit..R-Rita." Disease blinked confused. "Myself and Cyber can't be spared and Midnight would probably...not do as good of a job as your could." He hated admitting this but Disease smirked up at his compliment anyways. "I need you to take her there and back. Do you understand what Im saying?" The snake man gave a salute and smile. "No problemo, Bosssss. Ssshould be there and back in no time!" Amalfia beemed and sighed in releif- "Hey! Are we doing business or not!?" She jumped and quickly began walking away from the door. "Ok. Thank you, Lou. Ill be back. Bye." She mumbled quickly as she scurried off. Disease was quick to make a move after her, but gagged and gave a tiny yelp when Lou grabbed the hood part of his hoodie and turned him around to face the bright red eyes that narrowed at him. "Listen good. Watch her every move carefully, and do NOT leave her alone with Rita or any of those workers." A grimace can over his features. "I don't need her findout out any information that could scare her off. Im counting on those abilities of yours, Disease. Do NOT let me down." Disease merely gave a thumbs up before wriggling out of his hold and dashing off in the direction she left. With a sigh he stood back straight up and rubbed his face. This wasn't what he wanted to get into right now, and one look to Cyber told him she was mentally saying the same thing he was. 'I don't like this'. But he didn't have time to think on it right now. With a forced smile he turned back to the scruffy looking man. "Now. Where were we?"

All characters except for Amalifa belongs to @palettepainter

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aizenat · 3 years

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Regarding claims that asexuals weren't around, I have read old documents from well before AVEN was made discussing how the community viewed asexuals as a flavor of bisexuals since both groups feel equally attracted to all genders. The difference of that equal attraction to all genders being zero for for asexuals was a later distinction. Just because the labels weren't made yet doesn't mean asexuals popped into existence when AVEN was made! (This is similar to how the lines between the lesbian and bi women communities used to be a lot fuzzier back then, with both gay and bi women being labeled under the lesbian umbrella. Labels have changed over time.)

It is indeed different from BDSM because BDSM is a fetish about how people like to perform sex and is not directly related to attraction, marriage, and other orientation-relevant topics. Your comparison makes it seem you misunderstand asexuality as a function of sexual performance rather than orientational attraction. Which is wrong. It is 100% about attraction! Within the label of asexual, people still fall on a spectrum of liking sex to not liking sex independent of their asexual lack of attraction to any gender. It is not abstinence it is not preferences in bed, it is purely the lack of ability to be attracted to others. You may have defined LGBT+ as only "same sex attraction" but plenty others in the community--dare I say the majority of the community defines it as simply not being straight and/or cis.

Asexuals get medically mistreated in similar ways to gay and trans people through attempts at conversion. Asexuals get bullied, abused, correctively raped, etc by violent homophobes for all the same reasons too. Asexuals do not perform attraction and romance to the satisfaction of homophobes. Asexuals need community for the same reasons you do. They need similar protections from discrimination against orientation. This push to exclude asexuals is a rather recent trend that helps nobody, only serves to divide a community of vulnerable people that is strongest when united.

You’re a fucking liar, and disgusting and I hope you know that.

You don’t get to retroactively tell people how they identified. You’ve “read old documents from well before AVEN was made discussing how the community viewed asexuals as a flavor of bisexuals since both groups feel equally attracted to all genders?” Liar. You mean you’ve read RECENT articles of people analyzing texts describing bisexual people and reading that as “asexual” even though that’s not how those people identified.

You want to know how I know you don’t know SHIT about gay history? “This is similar to how the lines between the lesbian and bi women communities used to be a lot fuzzier back then, with both gay and bi women being labeled under the lesbian umbrella.” That never happened! Lesbian/gay women identified as such, and bi women identified as bi! Back then, bi woman said they were bi with their whole chests! They didn’t go around calling themselves lesbians! They do that now! Like what the fuck revisionist bullshit are you on about? Fuck off.

Asexuality is not a sexual orientation because by your own definition, asexuals do not feel sexual attraction. What kinda nonsense? And there is no way for an asexual to “like” sex or whatever nonsense. You guys just made that up because in our hypersexual world, you don’t know the difference between someone with a low (or, hell, a healthy) libido and an actual asexual person.

And shame on you, and there is a special place in HELL for you, for bringing up violent homophobia and conversion therapy and corrective rapes. Are people going around writing laws forcing you to have to have sex with someone? If you ever wanted to adopt, would the agency disqualify you for being asexual?

The medical ish is real, and obviously traumatic, but to pretend that’s on the same level as conversion therapy (seriously, a deep, dark, HOT place in hell for you for that!), is deplorable! You have obviously never been to one, been threatened to be sent to one, or even spoken with someone who went through conversion therapy to pull that out of your ass.

This is the reason why people don’t like you idiots. You take what could be valid critiques of our society’s views towards sex (hypersexuality, medicalization of low libidos, conservative expectations of relationship dynamics that treat people as broken for not wanting or enjoying sex) and morph them into fallacies, half truths, and false equivalences. You’re literally taking the experiences of other groups of people, and trying to say they happen to the same degree, and from the same place, as what asexuals face when that is just NOT true based on reality.

You could grow up to be an adult, quietly never get married or date, and live your entire life without having sex and no one will kill you for it. Homophobes don’t care that you’re not fucking other people. They don’t care enough to use gay panic as a defense to murder you, they don’t care enough to ban you from marrying, you weren’t ignored during the AIDS crisis, you wouldn’t have to hide the fact that you don’t have sex from colleagues for fear of getting fired from your job for it, you don’t have to worry about being sent to camps to be electrocuted or sent to mental institutions or religious conversion therapy camps. Not now, not 20 years ago, not 50 years ago, not EVER.

You can play the “we’ve always been there” game because there have always been people who probably would ID as asexual today, but the vast majority of those people got married, had kids, and that is more due to the fundamentalist religious nature of western society, especially in America, than it would be due to homophobia. Completely intellectually dishonest.

Don’t fucking send me any more fucking shit, and if you do, come off anon so I can block you. In fact, I’ll make it easy and turn it off so you don’t hit that button by mistake.

I have seen and experienced first hand real life traumatic homophobia, so don’t ever in your life try to come at me with that shit. I spent years thinking *I* was asexual because I was repressing my sexuality.

And that’s the biggest issue I have you with weirdos. Talking about “you can like sex and have sex and be asexual” nonsense. I see so many kids coming up that are taking LONGER to realize they’re gay/same sex attracted because they don’t relate to the hypsersexual, porn-obsessed way sex is portrayed. And they hear THIS nonsense and think “oh, I’m asexual.” Then they grow up, get interested in sex, and have literal mental breakdowns over their identities because they made not wanting to fuck their hogwarts house badge.

We’re not talking about grown adults who have gone through numerous experiences coming to an understanding of their sexualities. It’s a bunch of kids who don’t realize that it’s normal to not experience overt and raunchy sexual attraction, that only wanting to sleep with someone you’re in a relationship with is literally normal, and who aren’t even old enough to legally rent a car trying to tell grown adults about their lived experiences.

Fuck off mate. Just fuck off. You’re an idiot, and if you think you’re going to convince me of your side, you’re not.

And you really want to know how you’re not LGBT. Because with all the alphabet soup terms that have come up to describe bisexuality 40392092039220 times in recent years, gay people have (for the most part) not said that these people aren’t same sex attracted. Because, despite how unnecessary, they are same sex attracted. But you lot are the ones actual homosexuals and bi people are like “nah, you lot are weird. We don’t know you.” And there’s a reason. Because this response, aside from being intellectually dishonest, historically inaccurate, and filled with logical fallacies and bad-faith arguments, was at it’s very core WEIRD.

You’re weird. Now sod off.

#Anonymous

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vainfelt · 3 years

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i just saw eloise davis leaving practice . they look a lot like quintessa swindell , but don’t let that fool you . the twenty year old is known to be + ambitious & + resourceful , but also - commanding & - capricious . i’m pretty sure they’re a sophomore studying biology , but everyone knows the genderfluid for being the star of the gymnastics team . can’t wait to see what they’ll do next season .

sparrow here w another chara !! my babe el <3 heads up if this sucks its bc i rushed writing this :( i wanted to get smthn out asap ksksks i hope its tolerable for u guys to read

eloise is the embodiment of a queen bee . for ref i based off regina from mean girls & courntey from total drama lmao . she wants it all & will get it no matter what . she wants to be successful in her own right . a lot of her goals just come from her upbringing . also i will be switching between they & she pronouns for ellie bc they id as genderfluid !

their parents are 2 successful lawyers , but honestly , they were born into money and didnt really have to work a day in their lives . ellie’s parents were always extremely conscious of their reputation , and always made sure to appear as a picture perfect family , even if behind the scenes , the 2 lawyers were deeply struggling with their marriage . divorce wasn’t seen as an option for them though . so they stayed together , they slept in different rooms and saw other people on the down low . and when they were seen in public together , they played the part of a perfect married couple with two perfect kids .

el & their sibling have sort of a rivalry against each other . they learned early on that who ever could out do the other would get the attention of their parents . growing up they were in constant competition , which only worsened when they both wanted to go to the same college together .

the stress of having to be perfect took a heavy toll on eloise . she criticizes herself immensely and pushes herself to be the best she can even from an early age . her introduction to gymnastics was young . her mother signed her up so it would be her talent in beauty pageants . she stuck with it , & loves it , surprisingly , seeing as she hates most things her mother puts through . in her teen years , she was qualified to compete the national gymnastics competition , but refused to go to spite her mother . it was the first time eloise ever said no to her .

while she does love gymnastics , she is studying biology to become a surgeon . its a classy career , and el certainly has the brains for it . while a little morbid , she wants to specialize in trauma , where she’d be able to get down & dirty , something she cant do w her mom breathing down her neck .

regarding their gender & sexuality , eloise is ?? in denial ?? kind of ??? they know they dont fully id as a female , and know they have an attraction to women but is kind of afraid to pursue bc of what their mom might think . el def has a real strong preference to women but dating men is also not out of the q !!

#tigers.intro #thats all folks

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fioress · 4 years

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chicago’s very own fiore gattuso has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 2020 bentley continental gt v8 in red , welcome ! your resemblance to lorenzo zurzolo is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re impatient , but being cunning might help you . i think being a libra explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be bloodshot baby blue eyes, long drives without a specific destination, getting high by the beach. ( i have been conning money out of older women and men ever since my parents disowned me ) & ( cismale + he/him )

tw : abuse, homophobia

full name : fiore emiliano luca gattuso ( first name pronounced fee-oh-reh, also see here! )

nicknames : fifi, emmy ( by people who know his middle name ), some people might say... flower boy ( fiore literally means flower in italian ) 😳

gender : cismale

height : 5 ′ 8

age : 21

birthday : october 14 , 1998

zodiac : libra ( leo moon, aquarius ascendant )

right handed or left handed : left handed

eye color : baby blue

hair color : basically dark blonde / light brown

piercing & tattoos : the libra symbol on his left wrist, a cartilage piercing on his right ear

languages spoken : italian ( native tongue ), english, spanish, sicilian ( after many summers spent in his parents’ summer house in sicily )

sexuality : bisexual

place of birth : napoli, italia ( naples, italy in english )

last 3 songs listened to : dimmi che mi ami by dj matrix ( a full on fucking italian boy tbh ), talk is cheap by chet faker, west coast by lana del rey

character inspo : maxxie oliver from skins u.k , adam groff from sex education ( think season 2 adam ), alyssa foley from the end of the fucking world, david rose from schitt’s creek, michael kelso from that 70′s show, a mix of nick miller & winston bishop from new girl, maeby funke from arrested development

♡ so fiore was born to an american mother named lindsey harrison & a fully italian father named gian gattuso. his mother is a very well known politician & his father is heir of a very popular gas company, literally named gattuso gas ( yikes lol ). besides that, he is also a preacher. without saying much, his parents are very well off

♡ fiore grew up with anything he’s ever wanted ( materialistically, of course ). besides that, his parents genuinely weren’t the best of people. his mother stole millions from the so called campaigns she ran & was a generally very corrupt politician, his father treated his employees like shit & was a pretty hateful person altogether

♡ they were people who expected a lot out of their only son, which made fiore feel an insane amount of pressure from the very start. at a very young age, he showed characteristics lots of boys his age didn’t show. he did things like peeing while sitting down instead of standing up, preferred to play with dolls instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, got along better with girls, preferred to watch shows that were considered ‘girly’, etc etc.

♡ they were very harmless things honestly, things that most parents would laugh about & turn a blind eye. however, fiore really wasn’t that lucky when it came to his parents. any time he would do anything his parents claimed a ‘normal boy wouldn’t do’, he would get a huge lecture & a beating to go with it. needless to say, he learned to hide a lot of who he really was from a very young age

♡ he did a lot of things to seek the approval of his parents. he wasn’t smart academically ( dumb boi 101 tbh ), but he tried to make them happy in other ways. fiore was never fond of sports at all, but he started playing tennis at seven years old, because it made his parents happy. truth be told, he hated tennis with every fiber of his being, but again, he did this, simply because it satisfied his parents

♡ fiore grew up trying to be the perfect son, considering the fact his parents were very much in the public eye of everyone. it was all smiles for the pictures, but behind closed doors, he really wasn’t the happiest boy ever

♡ simply put, he has always known that he likes boys. he likes girls too, don’t get him wrong, but he knew, literally since he could remember, that he also had a thing for guys too. of course, he knew this wouldn’t settle well at all with his extremely strict & religious parents, so he buried his feelings incredibly deep

♡ he has a lot of charm & wit & found himself getting into relationships quicker than most of his friends. he briefly dated a girl when he was fourteen, but it was when he was sixteen that things really began getting, dare i say, spicy?

♡ there was an american boy new to his very #elite school & if you guessed it, they began to date! yup, his first boyfriend at sixteen years old. fiore was basically living two lives at this point. at school, he was himself, loud & proud, but when he got home, the facade began. the way he would switch up as soon as he entered the front door to his house was honestly shockingly scary

♡ he really felt himself falling in love with this boy even though they were both fairly young. they snuck around forever. when no one was home, he would sneak him into his room to have sex, sneak out of his house when his parents were asleep, all that fun stuff. their relationship was forbidden ( at least to fiore’s parents ). this is where it gets juicy af tho, hear me out

♡ so one day, fiore & him get really really drunk & honestly? video record themselves having sex! 😊 they didn’t do this to post it anywhere or show anyone or anything, they really just did it for themselves. they made a few copies & kept it for themselves ( stupid boys, i know! ), but they really felt like they would get married & all that gooey lovey dovey shit so they did it because yolo i guess? this is where it gets peak #juicy

♡ so fiore & him are walking back from practice. this is a time where fiore knows no one is home & no one is coming home for a while, so when they get to his house & see his father’s car parked outside, he lowkey panics a little. of course he makes the guy leave & goes inside to see what’s going on

♡ his father asks him to come upstairs & surprisingly, leads him into his room. he says something along the lines of ‘i just want to show you this so i can hear your explanation on what the fuck this is’ & this is when fiore’s entire life practically takes a 360. his father turns on his tv & legit starts playing his sex tape with his boyfriend. just picture this though; your extremely religious & hateful father & you sitting on your bed, watching your gay sex tape with your boyfriend

♡ obviously, this news isn’t well taken by his father. to make a long story short, he gets his ass beat. like, literally almost dies type shit. when this happened, he was seventeen, almost eighteen. he knew if that was ever discovered by his parents, it wouldn’t go well, but he really didn’t think them discovering his sexuality would be that brutal

♡ his parents basically disown him at that moment. they bought him a ticket to chicago & told him they never wanna see him again. it’s sad, but he packed his things & left in two days to go live with his cousin in chicago. citizenship wasn’t a problem because he had dual citizenship due to his mother being american

♡ it doesn’t really take an expert to figure out that fiore did not take this move well at all. for months, he was really depressed. he wouldn’t go out & would just lay in bed for the longest time. he was really hurt by everything that happened & it took him a while to recover. he has also lived in italy his whole life & wasn’t really used to life in america at all, but after like the fourth month of just feeling sorry for himself, it was his cousin who snapped him back to reality

♡ slowly but surely, he began putting himself out there. his english honestly #sucked when he first got to america, but it’s gotten a lot better since then ( he still has a pretty deep italian accent though ). at first, he began working at a pizza place, but fiore slowly began to realize how much he despised working. his entire life, he received everything on a silver plater with pure golden spoons, so this? he was for sure not used to it at all. again, his life completely did a 360. he went from living in a three story mansion in the most prestigious part of rome to living in a very shitty part of chicago, broke almost always, & working a job he hated with everything he had, splitting rent with his cousin

♡ fiore did not want this at all for himself. it wasn’t until he went out clubbing ( fake id & all ), that one his friends showed him the wonders of conning people. they walked into the bar with twenty bucks and left with four thousand dollars

♡ quickly, fiore began to learn his friends’ ways. his looks, personality & his thick italian accent helped him tremendously; it was like people literally couldn’t get enough of him. soon enough, he was conning & finessing the fuck out of older men & women for their money. he once walked into a casino with five dollars and walked out with over twelve thousand, & it was only because he stayed for like an hour only

♡ finessing people became a huge hobby of his. it was with all this money that he bought himself a luxury car & jump started his model & influencer career. it was also with this money that him & his cousin ditched chicago & moved into a much better apartment in new york. with his looks & persona, he gained followers like crazy & posted videos on youtube as well, getting sponsorships & recognition easier than he expected. he was literally living off his looks & his personality & honestly? he was here for it!

♡ there is still a part of fiore that has a lot of issues & trauma. honestly mommy & daddy issues af, but he doesn’t talk about this at all. no one really knows how he came up or where his family is & he keeps it this way, dodging questions about his personal life as much as he can

♡ in a way, he is kind of relieved with everything that happened with his parents because now, he’s completely free to be himself & do whatever the fuck he wants, knowing very well they can’t really touch him now. of course, it still left a mark that he’s never going to be able to erase or forget ( both in his heart & on his body too ), but he feels free for once in his life & he’s honestly kind of happier now

♡ relationship wise, he really doesn’t commit to anyone. after practically being forced to leave his now ex boyfriend at almost 18, he kind of feels like he doesn’t deserve love? it’s really fucked up but he’s genuinely convinced that no one is ever going to genuinely love him or want to be with him so he just avoids any romantic relationship of any kind, usually just hooking up with people & then leaving as soon as it’s over. the truth is that he really does want to be loved, accepted & cared for by someone he loves, accepts & cares for as well, but will it ever happen if he continues pushing people away? probably not tbh

♡ he is a fucking drinker & hella pot smoker!! legit give him some alcohol & weed he’s happy. he always has either one on him, or both tbh

♡ this is all that’s coming to mind rn but underneath is his bio!!

fiore was born to lindsey and gian gattuso in naples, italy. from a very young age, he showed characteristics most boys his age didn’t show. he would pee sitting down, every time he would visit his cousins, he would rather play dolls with them instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, watched things that were considered ‘girly’, etc. of course, this never settled well with his extremely religious parents, and every time he would do something even remotely different than a ‘regular’ boy would do, he would get a huge lecture, and a beating to go with it. that being said, fiore was quick to learn to hide a lot of who he really was. he absolutely despised tennis, but he played it anyways, and he did it, simply because it made his parents happy. the gattuso’s had a ton of money, so he played tennis in nearly all of europe. he has always known that he likes boys, maybe even a little bit more than he likes girls. literally since he’s had a sense of judgement, he’s just known. of course, he kept this a secret, practically living a double life, being himself at school and someone completely different at home. it didn’t take long for him to get a boyfriend, and soon, he found himself slowly falling in love. secretly sneaking him into the house when his parents weren’t home to have quickies, holding hands with him down the school hallways, and even lying to his parents and telling them he was going going to tennis practice just to hang out with him. however, one mistake costed him, well, everything.

they were drunk and goofing around, and decided to record themselves having sex. it was innocent and pure, both of them just making love to each other in the rawest, loveliest form. the two boys made copies of it, and fiore kept one for himself. one day, when he was trying to sneak his boyfriend into the house, he saw his dad’s car parked outside, which was odd because he was never home around that time. his boyfriend left, and he went to go investigate. his father was beyond calm, and bought him up to his room. his room. fiore was confused as his father told him to sit down on the bed, and soon, his worst nightmare became a reality. his father began playing his damn sex tape on his dvd player, and to say he was mortified was an understatement. he was humiliated, and most of all, afraid. it came without much warning, but soon, his father was throwing punches to his face, his stomach, everywhere, dragging him down the stairs just for it to continue. all he saw was blood. for the first time in forever, fiore truly felt like he had hit rock bottom. they took away his cellphone, any type of technology he had to communicate with was gone, and before he knew it, he was being shipped off to america, completely cut off by his parents.

fiore definitely didn’t take the move so well. he was a depressed mess. he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, and over all, just felt out of place. it took him a pretty long time, but eventually, he began adjusting. of course he was still super hurt over everything that had happened, his parents cutting him off, him being away from his now ex boyfriend, his first true love, but time luckily healed most of his pain, and soon, he found himself bettering his english, making friends, and fitting right in. at least he didn’t have to play tennis here. living with his cousin wasn’t so bad either. they constantly smoked, drank like there was no tomorrow, and he even managed to land him a job at a pizza delivery place. fiore hated this job though, but after a night our with friends, he found himself learning the art of conning and finessing older men and women. he does this like there’s no tomorrow, the money he made from all these schemes helping him jumpstart his career as an influencer and model, which bought him back to his typical luxurious lifestyle. fiore is just trying to get by, one day at a time.

extra spice:

#wealthyhq:intro #i rlly am a clown tbh LMFAOO

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doc-pickles · 4 years

Text

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p. 1)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

More Jolex on your timeline because y’all seemed to love what I posted before! Also I’ve posted this whole piece on AO3 as well so it might look familiar.

this idea came to me in a fever dream and i am not sorry that y'all have to deal with it. 99% of this fic will be in "texting" format, so be prepared for that.

Jo is regular Alex is italics

Saturday 11:04 PM

heeeeey is thiss doctor evil?

I gotta say ur phone sex namee needs sum weerk

u soud like a comic book village

fuck

village

VILLAIN

Who the hell is this? And how did you get my number?

i’m just a girl at thee bar!!!!

Joe’s Bar?

noooooo

i’m at enerlad city bar

You didn’t answer my question.

u asked a quesitoon?

whata was it?

i’m goos at takifjg tests

How’d you get my number?

it qas in the bathrooom!!!

it said “for a good tiem txt dr evil spawne”

so I did

I am ready to havee fun

You’re drunk, obviously, and I’m going to have to kill Cristina for putting my number up.

ooooooh is thatt ur girleifnd?

hirlefiend

girlfriend**

Wow you’re really gone. And hell no, she’s my roommate. One of them.

ooooh how many do u hav

roomees not girlfriends

Three. Two girls and a dude.

intereeesting...

well it’s tome for fireball shoots

steph is yeeling at me 4 txting too much

goodbey doctor eviel apawn!!

Oh lord. Tell Steph you need water. Or an IV.

I’ve got her. she’s throwing up on her shoes. thanks doctor. - steph

Sunday 10:11 AM

You know you’re pretty funny, Bar Girl.

jesus christ what fucking time is it?!

10 AM

I’m assuming you have a massive hangover.

hold on I can’t hear you over the sound of me vomiting

TMI as the kids say these days.

what’re you a grandpa or something??

No I just don’t know how to use text lingo. Except WTF. I know that one very well.

quick question

who the fuck are you?

Dr. Evil Spawn. You found my name graffitied in the bathroom of Emerald City Bar.

holy shit

I thought I dreamed that... WHAT THE FUCK

Nope. I’m real.

holy shit i’m so sorry

my texts were so annoying

Who hurt you? I mean you were shitfaced, I’m assuming someone broke your heart into tiny pieces.

the opposite actually, I was at a bachelorette party

not mine, i’m so single it hurts

Ahhh that makes sense. So you got shitfaced in solidarity?

exactly you get it

you seem like you’d be the DD at a bachelorette party

Well seeing as I’m a dude I don’t do Bachelorette parties.

Well I did go to one, but that’s a different story.

hmmm you seem like a very interesting man doctor evil spawn

going to bachelorette parties, living with women who aren’t your girlfriend

OMG ARE YOU DATING THE GUY YOU LIVE WITH?!

George? No absolutely not. And before you ask, my other girl roommate is gay.

so you’re single?

i’m only asking so when you murder me the police have as much information as possible

Haha very funny. I would be a terrible murderer.

you didn’t answer my question

Fine. Yes I’m single.

i’ll note that in the “serial killer file” i’m building

gotta go, I have to do work :/

Have fun, don’t die.

Sunday 8:38 PM

Arizona is trying to set me up on a blind date.

who’s arizona?

My gay roommate. She wants me to meet this “bubbly blonde” she knows from her pilates class.

ahhhh. why don’t you go?

Bubbly blonde is not my type. Sounds like she’ll spend the whole date talking about how much she loves dogs or her knitting hobby.

Plus she does pilates, that tells me more than enough.

you’re making some good points. I don’t pity you.

You better not. How was work?

the longest day of my life

it was just paperwork, I don’t actually work on the weekends

What do you do?

hmmmm that’s exactly what a serial killer would say

i’m an elementary school teacher

Oh so you sing and dance and paint pictures all day?

what school did you go to?

were working on multiplication tables and basic photosynthesis tomorrow

Wow that sounds like a lot.

it’s may, ive got three weeks of school left so I have to cram all the crap we didn’t cover into these last few weeks

Ahhh that sounds more accurate.

and what do you do?

besides text strangers that you don’t know

I’m a pediatrician.

oh so you make kids cry and wipe snotty noses all day? two can play at that game

Well we both have to deal with snotty noses sooo...

I GET IT!! Doctor Evil Spawn!!

why evil spawn though?

I wasn’t this nice when I started med school. My personality is an acquired taste.

ha! that’s a funny joke.

so if you’re a fancy schmancy doctor why do you live with three other people?

I’m only a resident, not making the big bucks yet. Everyone else is a doctor too.

are they all pediatricians?

No. Arizona is too but Cristina is a cardiologist and George is a trauma specialist.

interesting!! I too live with my coworkers. it’s not fun.

the table is always covered in craft supplies.

Well I can never read the grocery list on the fridge. Stupid doctors script...

oh that’s a classic. you’re pretty funny Dr. Evil Spawn

Thanks Bar Girl.

I gotta go. monday tomorrow and you know how fourth graders can be. night!!

Night .

Monday 9:47 AM

there’s not enough coffee in the world for monday mornings.

Monday 10:52 AM

Sorry I was yelling at the interns. We have a decent coffee cart here. Keeps me alive. Are you texting in class?

no it was recess

now they’re at spanish class

i’m not totally irresponsible

Oh good to know the future of America is in good hands. Teacher Princess is “not totally irresponsible”

teacher princess?

Well, Cinderella lost her shoe, you puked on yours. Same thing.

wooooooooow

that was so uncalled for...

I thought it was funny. Gotta go set a broken arm.

broken arm vs. adverbs... can we switch? have fun lol

Monday 3:26 PM

I don’t even think I know what an adverb is.

how did you become a doctor??

Don’t need to know adverbs to fix a couple broken bones and snuffy noses.

oh darn I should’ve gone to school for seven more years then

Haha. How were the adverbs?

better than expected, grading papers while I wait for my roomies to be done

we carpool, saving the environment and shit

Okay Eco Warrior.

you text like a 60 year old man

you’re not a 60 year old man are you?

No I’m a 28 year old man though

28 a doctor and you’re single? your personality must be worse than you described

I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to settle down. And I have no desire to.

yet you have time to text a complete stranger?

hmmmm interesting...

Ouch, that one hurt Princess.

steph is making me socialize with the other teachers

if I don’t respond, they killed me or dragged me to an essential oil party

Hahahaha

Monday 5:18 PM

Did you get roped into a pyramid scheme?

nooo but therew as wine

I should sotp drunk texting you so often

It makes your presence that much more entertaining. And bearable.

woah woah dude

i’m a gem

I can tell. Elementary school teacher with a heart of gold.

awwww your too sweet tome

It’s a Monday. Who the hell gets drunk on a Monday?

teachers

we deserve it

You’re a teacher and you’re single and still going to Bachelorette parties. You’re what, 23?

i’m 25 and i’m doing greta thanks you very nuch

cnat believe that i’m supplying my perosnal info to a serial killer

What makes you so sure that I’m a mass murderer?

ur weird nickname and ur intimate knowledge of the himan body

Mmm yes well a good amount of women do find themselves screaming around me often. Or under me. On top of me...

omg are you sending me dirty jokes

you’re crazy

What can I say.

Gotta go, I’m on call tonight. Get to bed safe, Bar Princess.

mmmkay thanks Doc

Wednesday 11:29 AM

What do you think is worse: School lunch or hospital food?

hospital food, no doubt

thursday is mac and cheese day here... I could bathe in that stuff

We have Spaghetti Wednesday but that’s the only good thing here.

mmm how depressing

the teachers do a pot luck once a month and that’s always good

the art teacher next door to me makes the BEST blueberry muffins.

Lucky. All I get here is vending machine cookies. Anything interesting happening in the elementary world?

a first grader got lice last week so naturally we all have it now

I had to chop off six inches of my hair

Holy crap. Lice can be vicious, be thankful you didn’t have to shave your head.

it feels like I did, my hair hasn’t been above my shoulders since the backstreet boys were still touring

Wow. I’m glad to know you’re well cultured.

of course I am

gotta go, kids are back from music class

Don’t be too hard on them, they deserve a break every once in awhile.

Thursday 3:06 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jenna you forgot your lunch pail. Have a good day!”

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Peters. I didn’t grade Henry’s test yet, I’ll have it tomorrow. Thanks bye!”

“Helloooo?”

“Steph I gotta grab my things, I’ll be there in a seco- oh shit. Hello?”

“Bar Princess?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn? I must’ve butt dialed you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I... I don’t mind the interruption. Are you leaving work?”

“Just about, we’re wrapping up the solar system and I have to bring home the diorama.”

“I was never good at the models, I prefer working with the real thing.”

“Oh ho, a man that works with his hands. I can appreciate that.”

“You know now we’re officially talking and we still don’t know each other’s names.”

“Well around here I’m Miss Wilson, but you can call me Jo.”

“Jo. Hmm I like chicks with dudes names. I’m Dr. Karev but you can call me Alex.”

“Well nice to kinda meet you Alex. I’ll talk to you soon, I gotta get out of here.”

“Talk to you later.”

Thursday 4:34 PM

I wouldn’t mind if you were my teacher.

how did I know you’d send me something along those lines

I’m predictable. I’m still calling you Bar Princess.

as you wish doctor evil spawn

I get to assist on a surgery today. Tonsillectomy.

like removing tonsils? that’s awesome

for you, not for the kid

Oh she’ll be fine, she gets ice cream and jello for a week.

okay yeah I might be jealous of her now

id love to be off work for a week and have you waiting on me hand and foot

the ice cream is a nice bonus

You think that’s my job?

well you said you aren’t making the big bucks yet so.... yeah

Keep dreaming. I’ll talk to you later, gotta scrub in.

have fun!!!!

#jolex #jolex fanfic #jolex fanfiction #jo karev #jo wilson #jo wilson karev #alex karev #alternate universe #jolex fic #jo x alex #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #INFJTT #nina writes

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