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bratz-kitten · 3 years

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most.

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way?

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people.

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family.

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever.

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS

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ashesandhackles · 3 years

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Deconstructing Harry: The boy we meet in Philosopher's Stone to the man in Deathly Hallows

I have often seen fans talk about how nebulous Harry is as a character, especially in the earlier books. They can't make sense of who he is as a character and other more colourful, more actualized personalities take over our attention from any traits Harry might display. Harry becomes more defined for a lot of people OOTP onwards where he displays traits that sometimes make him unbearable or unlikable.

Harry, as we are introduced in PS, has a very little sense of self. He is narratively self deprecating or plays down his presence or skills, not that he is aware he has any. He grew up without any presence of him displayed in the house - no photos, no idea about his parents or what they look like or what really happened to them and discouraged from asking questions. Harry as we meet him is neglected, rootless about his identity and longs for escape. For him, every day is a battle against Dudley, who bullies him or Vernon, thus setting a worldview that never truly goes away: him vs adults. But just because Harry doesn't attach traits or values to self, does not mean he does not have it.

It's an effective narrative tool though - for Harry to be our eyes of the world. Only in later re-readings can we get a grasp of the traits that become more pronounced as books go on. Also, it's not surprising that Harry develops a better sense of self when he is removed from an abusive home.

Let me begin with this:

1. Harry is a fighter

One of the things that struck me in later re-readings is that how much of a fighter Harry is, from the very beginning. He will not lie down and take abuse. The narrative presents it as no big deal, because Harry doesn't assign any importance to it - it's every day life for him.

-Verbal standing up-

See his reaction to Uncle Vernon and the letter fiasco. He stands up for himself, even if it falls on deaf ears. "I want my letter - as it is mine!". Later on, in the same book, a completely befuddled 11 year old Harry stands up to Snape too, but in a politer way: "I think Hermione knows the answer. Why don't you try her?". He gets less polite with Snape as books go on. Harry's humor is something he employs liberally with Dudley when standing up to him - "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick" and we see this trait manifest into the sass we all know and love.

- Fight or flight-

He is remarkably good at "fighting himself out of tight corners" as Snape put it. And although Snape attributes it to luck and more talented friends, he is onto something about Harry's ability to worm out of tight corners. He lives moment to moment in a dangerous situation - relying on his nerve, very fast reflexes and athleticism. He is also able to notice things in an environment that will get him out of a quick pinch. You see this clearly in Department of Mysteries in Book 5 where he comes up with the idea to smash shelves, the mad idea to escape on a dragon, the ministry escape where he manipulates Runcorn's image (as he noticed how people were reacting to him) to create chaos and get the Muggleborns and the trio out, Chamber of Secrets when he instinctively understood the diary is the source of power and stabbed it.

Where does the athleticism and ability to spot dangerous situation come from? This boy has spent a decade cheeking Dudley and running away from his gang, spotting when he needs to get out of the way as "long experience had told him to be out of Uncle Vernon's arms reach" or "ducking when Aunt Petunia aimed a frying pan at his head". The instinct to see a dangerous situation develops over the course of the books in his adventures - to the point Harry unconsciously brings out his wand in Tottenham road without thinking too much about it. He is almost always wary and less quick to lower his wand.

When hiding/ escaping is not an option, Harry is not above physical fighting - despite how small and skinny he is in Book 1. Both he and Dudley fight for a chance to listen at the door when letter first arrives for Harry. Dudley wins the fight. Later on, Harry jumps Uncle Vernon from behind and hangs on to his neck to get his letter. He even does the same thing to the troll in the same book. ( Then over the course of series, we see him beat up Sirius in Book 3, Malfoy in Book 5, strangle Mundungus in Book 6 - all of these are related to his fury over the dead, so different context. But still).

- Manipulation/ Cunning-

11 year old Harry even tries sneakily - waking up early to get his letter (unfortunately didn't work). The other sneaky methods he has employed throughout the series is - not telling Dursleys at end of PS that he is not allowed magic at home, threatens Dudley with it in COS, not telling them Sirius is innocent to play up the threat of a murderous godfather to keep them accountable, and also the smooth way he negotiates with Uncle Vernon for Hogsmeade letter. ("Well it will be hard work, pretending to aunt Marge that I go to St Whatsits" ,"Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her"). He similarly displays his negotiation and playing to what he knows about people with Slughorn in Book 6, Pettigrew in Book 7.

The scene with Slughorn is disturbing, with Harry coercing a drunk Slughorn to give up his memory. You can argue that this is the influence of Felix Felicis, but I think the potion acted more as facilitation. The disturbing way Harry brings up his mother's murder to unnerve Slughorn is his own doing. ("Voldemort stepped over my father's body towards mum" "I forgot - you liked her, didn't you?"). Again, in a life threatening situation, Harry plays to Pettigrew's latent guilt: "You are going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me Wormtail!"

2. Relational justice over abstract justice

Harry's concept of justice is relational and based on his high empathy for the underdog. He notices power dynamic in a situation and empathises with the victim. This is in contrast to Hermione, who has more abstract, bigger picture view of justice. It's no wonder that Hermione is the one who is the most political of the three.

His high empathy for the underdog and needing to stand up for them is because he feels responsiblility that no one should go through what he went through. He stands up for Neville in PS and encourages him to stand up for himself. When he sees his father bullying Snape, it is not about an abstract "this is wrong behavior". Harry goes further: "Harry knew what it felt like to be taunted among a circle of onlookers" , Harry focuses on young Snape's mismatched clothes because he himself knows what it's like to wear clothes that are not yours or ones that make you look ridiculous. His empathy extends to Voldemort too - understanding why he may not want to go back to his orphanage and desire to be in Hogwarts, wondering why Merope wouldn't stay alive for her son, his fixation with Voldemort's maimed soul in King's Cross chapter and later asking Voldemort to feel remorse (" I have seen what you will become otherwise"). Even his reaction to Dobby in COS - "Can't anyone help you? Can't I?" when Dobby talks about his slavery. Hermione is usually seeing the bigger picture, Harry sees the individual.

3. Pathological mistrust of adults

He is less likely of the trio to take an adult at their words or be assured by them when they say they are taking care of things. He has learnt, from a very young age, that he is always expected to take care of himself. And the times he does take things to adult, they consistently disappoint him - by patronising him or acting like he is a child, neither of which he has tolerance for or appreciates. This is why he takes to Sirius and Lupin, who exhibit neither of these communication patterns. In some ways, Mr Weasley too.

Umbridge's abuse of him for him is framed as a battle of wills between her and him, as if he is an equal. And he loses if he complains - "not giving her a satisfaction of knowing she got to me". Harry's worldview has always been - adult vs him.

His inability to trust adults even extends to the ability of adults he likes to look after themselves. While Sirius is understandably a wreck in OOTP, he has by and large followed Dumbledore's orders. This doesn't register with Harry (Ron points it out: "Sirius listens to Dumbledore even though he doesn't like what he hears") and Harry's fears about Sirius, excaberated by Sirius's tendency for recklessness, comes to play.

He even showed similar distrust in Lupin's judgement in taking a potion from Snape in POA ("Harry felt the urge to knock the goblet out of Lupin's hands" and tries to hint at Lupin that Snape will "do anything" for DADA job). And he shows this once again with the most magically powerful wizard he knows - Dumbledore. ("if I tell you to abandon me and save yourself, you must do so". Dumbledore has to insist on this before Harry nods reluctantly. It's also Dumbledore's wording, but this is a wizard Harry feels safe with almost entirely because of his power - and yet Harry cannot obey an order like this without reluctance). It's not about Harry's own ability to take care of them - he just innately cannot leave people to it.

4. Humor as a value and coping mechanism

Harry has an established coping mechanism by the time we are introduced to him - quip in the face of danger/ dark humor. There are repeated instances of Harry amusing himself with snarky comments in his head when things are really bad for him. Like in PS, when they are in the hut, Harry wonders if the roof will fall in and then thought that if it did fall in, he might be warmer. In the earlier books (before his growth), he seems to value Ron over Hermione simply because he is more "fun". Harry enjoys being around funny people like Ron, Weasley twins, later Ginny simply because there is some dark stuff happening with him and he needs "fun" people for semblance of normalcy, escape. In fact, this desire is so strong, he attaches it to his romantic relationships: Ginny is a "blissful oblivion" and times with her are "something out of someone else's life". His relationship with Cho failed because her coping mechanism is discussing her trauma and Harry's is escaping it.

-dealing with conflict with people he likes, small digression-

A part of his growing up in later books includes valuing Hermione as much he values Ron and we see it in display in HBP, where he is more willing to stand up for her to Ron (something he kind of did more quietly before in POA - "can't you give her a break?" ) and also get confrontational with her instead of using Ron as a buffer between them to fend off her more boisterous/ bossy tendencies. ("let him make up his mind" "skip the lecture" "don't nag" - Ron took the heat in earlier books. In HBP, Harry is more willing to be irritable with her in a day-to-day interaction - "I hope you enjoy yourself" he tells Hermione when she states her intention to investigate Half Blood Prince. Or when she tests the book - "Finished? Or do you want to see if it does backflips?" "Do you have rub it in Hermione, how do you think I feel now?" at the end of HBP. ) In OOTP, his best method to deal with her when she bothers him was lying, avoiding her nagging and if that doesn't work, explode and treat her to display of his temper. There is more to explore here, of course - even with regard to how he deals with Mrs Weasley in Book 4, 5 and the difference of him hugging her in Book 7.

5. Fascination with the dead/ a passive death wish

Harry feels remarkably little sense of betrayal knowing that he was set up to die by Dumbledore. His self sacrificing streak is rooted in his love, yes, but I also think Harry is a little bit too fascinated by death, not surprising considering most people he loved are dead. Him wanting the resurrection stone in DH, him obsessively spending time at Mirror of Erised (to the point he feels feverish and Ron thinking he looks strange) until Dumbledore stops him, him almost wanting to fail to learn a Patronus because he wants to hear his parents voice, the hearing of whispering voices in the Veil in OOTP which only Luna could hear apart from him, the scene at the grave where he almost wishes he was "lying under the snow" with his parents, the possession scene in the book of OOTP has him wishing to die so he can be with Sirius. You can almost argue the Harry has, in many moments, shown raw desire of death. In fact, him choosing to let go of the stone and not go looking for it is a big character decision for him.

I also want to address Harry's temper and how that develops over course of series, the implications of understanding the people he loved and put on pedestal are flawed - but I am afraid this post is already way too long. So I will leave that for some time later.

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

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Bad Manners (S2, E5)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:35 - Martin totally thought John Watkins abducted and killed Ainsley. Mark my words.

0:44 - Holy. Shit. Ainsley is FIVE years old (or younger) here right? A five year old with that much determination?!?! She literally stayed silent in that clock for probably hours......and no one was concerned about this kid when Martin was arrested because...?

1:09 - Anyone else impressed with Malcolm’s aim here? Just me?

1:20 - Gil and Malcolm talking about sleep and murder is so freaking sweet. <3 Honestly, they’re acting like friends instead of co-workers and it warms my cold dead heart.

1:29 - Does Gil become a grumpy old man when he doesn’t get 8 hours sleep? I really want to know now.

1:39 - OMG. Gil pointing at Ainsley here is hilarious. He’s totally acting like some weird mix of a stern pissed off high-school teacher, and a step-dad trying to discipline an unruly teen. hahaha AND MALCOLM’S FACE. Look how done Malcolm is. He looks so so tired, sad, and exasperated.

1:44 - Wow. Girl power. Ainsley has those camera guys bending to her will. I honestly would’ve thought they would just read the situation and turn the camera off themselves.

1:47 - “It’s not a game.” Yikes. I have thoughts about this:

Malcolm is right - it’s not a game.

Malcolm is a bit of a hypocrite for saying that to Ainsley. Although, to his credit even when Malcolm is excited/inappropriately happy about murder it’s always pretty clear that he thinks murder is wrong, and that he has sympathy for the victims and their families.

Ainsley does not have that same sympathy for the victims. That much is clear later in this episode.

Pretty sure the writers are trying to turn Ainsley into a serial killer this season.

2:13 - “You know I like to share these things with my friends.” .....does this mean Malcolm thinks Dani and JT are his friends now? Last I checked (Ep 1x05) Malcolm didn’t have friends. This absolutely melts my heart. <3 I’m honestly so happy that Malcolm considers someone other than Gil to be his friend.

2:18 - “We lost Dani to vice.” .....What is vice? AND WHAT IS THE REAL LIFE REASON THAT DANI WASN’T IN THIS EPISODE?!?

2:19 - Edrisa has a medical degree right? She has to know how dangerous consuming that much caffeine is right? Plus aren’t energy drinks super dangerous if you drink a lot of them (or maybe that’s just what adults in my neighbourhood told kids)?

2:30 - Edrisa SHINES in this episode. She’s so funny and awkward and I just love her.

2:36 - hahaha Gil has adopted the whole team. Look at him throwing the “Dad warning stare” at Edrisa.

3:31 - Why does Edrisa start bouncing around looking upset when Malcolm says, “rejection is a powerful motivator”?!?! Has she recently been broken up with or something? Is this a reference to how she has a crush on Malcolm (who doesn’t reciprocate)? I WANT MORE INFORMATION.

3:47 - TWIZZLERS!!! <3 Damn I love how this tiny detail about Malcolm’s character keeps coming up.

3:55 - Ainsley is on a rampage this episode. She’s so determined ...actually she’s acting a lot like Jessica (think girl in the box bracelet). However, unlike Jessica, Ainsley’s motives aren’t about justice or the safety of her loved ones. Ainsley is chasing personal gain (career) with a side of (a subconscious?) need to be exposed to murder and her father’s twisted world.

4:05 - This whole interaction between Ainsley and Malcolm is really interesting. Ainsley is knowingly manipulating Malcolm to get the answers she wants. We’ve seen her do it in 2x4 and 1x19. She knows her big brother would do anything for her. It makes sense, they’re five years apart and after the trauma they experienced as children Malcolm felt responsible to protect Ainsley. He never wants to disappoint Ainsley. Not a burden he should’ve had to deal with but I digress. PLUS Malcolm looks weary of Ainsley here. He knows what she’s doing. He’s scared that she’s turning to the dark side. But he still gives her the answers because if he doesn’t - that means something has changed. He thinks that would make Ainsley suspicious and then she might remember what happened to Endicott. He’s scared of and for Ainsley.

4:32 - OKAY. I’ll say it. The thing that annoys me the most about this episode is that it suggests that Ainsley was a debutant when in 1x6 AINSLEY TELLS MARTIN SHE WAS NEVER A DEBUTANT. She went to etiquette school - I guess that doesn’t strictly mean she also did debutant balls but it sort of suggests it in the context of this episode? Did she actually graduate from the etiquette school (there was bullying, maybe she was expelled/dropped out similar to Malcolm and Remington?)?

4:59 - “No stabbies” OMG. How is this show not classified as a comedy?!? Istg I laugh harder watching this ‘drama’ then I do watching most of the shows that call themselves ‘comedies’.

5:35 - It’s honestly kind of amazing that Ainsley and Malcolm are as ‘sane’ as they are. They were raised by a stubborn predatory psychopath and a stubborn rich meddling socialite. They had no chance of normalcy. Look at the amount of pleasure Martin is currently getting by throwing his son under the bus with regards to Jessica.

5:45 - “No actually, I cleaned it up.”.....does this have a dual meaning? Did Martin do something to make Malcolm dispose of the body? We already know that Martin has tried some sort of conditioning on Malcolm (remember ‘C’mon boy!’ from 1x14? The stabbing?). What if Martin said some sort of trigger word to control Malcolm and coerced Malcolm into getting rid of the body? What if this isn’t the first time?

6:05 - Ainsley is a sociopath. I’m calling it again. I called it when I first watched Q&A (1x7) because the way she treated Malcolm was more than just selfish/careless. It was cruel and she didn’t feel any remorse for literally broadcasting her brother’s private health details on television. That is messed up. I honestly won’t be shocked if the writers make Ainsley a full blown serial killers (although I’m not sure I want that because I don’t know how Malcolm would remain the main character if the story goes in that direction?).

6:12 - Poor Jessica. I honestly feel really bad for her. Sure, she’s a headstrong alcohol dependant crazy rich woman. She also has a good heart. She’s been dealt a pretty shitty hand when it comes to relationships (minus Gil but she ruined that because she’s a MORON) and now she’s terrified that her own children have become monsters and she blames herself. She definitely hasn’t been a perfect mother but I don’t think she’s to blame for Ainsley and Malcolm’s obsession with murder. If these kids had a different bio dad, they would probably just have a low-key drug problem or some other common rich kid baggage.

6:15 - “You know that’s not how cancer works right?” LOL. hahahaha

6:33 - Martin kind of has a point. There’s no rehab for murder. That’s why he’s been in jail for 20 years and he still wants to kill people. In my opinion, given what we’ve seen of Ainsley’s personality: as soon as she fully remembers that night - she’s gone. She’ll go full serial killer and Jessica and Malcolm will lose her forever.

6:40 - Jessica’s little jazz hand finger twinkle as she spins on her heel and leaves Martin kills me. It’s so extra. It’s so funny. And it’s sooo Jessica.

6:47 - Damn. Martin is pissed. I’m worried. That’s murder-level rage. If he escapes ISTG Martin is going to try and kill Gil. For so many reasons 1) because he hates Gil, 2) it’ll hurt Jessica, and 3) killing Gil will eliminate his ‘Dad’ competition.

6:54 - Edrisa on caffeine is AMAZING.

7:43 - I love Edrisa but her blatant, unreciprocated crush on Malcolm is honestly getting a little creepy.

7:52 - Gil spent all last season drinking out of a Yankee’s mug. Doesn’t that mean he’s a baseball fan? Why doesn’t he know this pitcher guy?

7:56 - hahahaa “Where is JT?” Because obviously JT is the team sports fan.

8:22 - Does Gil get nightmares about cases? He always seems really uncomfortable around the dead bodies.

8:45 - “And suddenly I’m wide awake” SERIOUSLY - is anyone else laughing every 60 seconds when they watch this show? Is my sense of humour just super dark and messed up?

8:54 - YES. The liquorice is BACK.

9:00 - I love Malcolm talking to JT about his obsession with candy. I love how Malcolm doesn’t even hesitate before giving JT an honest answer. Malcolm is acting like JT’s annoying little brother and I am here for it. One thing I did notice though - Malcolm specifically mentions candy+dopamine but doesn’t mention his depression/anxiety. Processed sugar can be a short-term (unhealthy) way to boost your mood. It’s why some people eat their feelings. I really want more backstory about Malcolm with the lollipops and licorice though.

9:19 - “But you didn’t do anything wrong.” Awwww Malcolm is so soft here. I love how much he genuinely cares about JT. <3 I love how JT is comfortable enough with Malcolm to give him an honest answer. <3 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS GONE THROUGH SUCH A GLOW UP. <3

9:32 - “Like toy dolls?” hahaha the way Malcolm perked up here. All I could think was “SQUIRREL!” hahaha.

9:41 - Malcolm is doing better than he has been the past few episodes? I mean he’s still suffering and he’s still in a terrible mental state. BUT he also seems happier? IDK maybe he’s just entered the more manic nervous energy stage of his emotions as opposed to the depressed and scared stage.

9:49 - “Deep childhood trauma”. So we’re looking for a debutant killer with childhood trauma who is chasing perfection? Debutant = rich lady culture. Like Ainsley. AND Ainsley went to the same etiquette school as the first two victims. The writer’s wanted us to assume the killer was Ainsley for the first 15 mins of this episode right? I’m not the only one seeing it?

10:04 - “My sister went there too.” ....why is there something super attractive about the way that line was delivered?

10:08 - I’m so done with this absolute tom foolery. Why does the team keep splitting up into two teams - where one team is JUST MALCOLM. The one who is unarmed and technically a civilian?!? This makes no logical sense to me (except for plot).

10:25 - Was Martin just about to say, “Just like the old days”?!? Is Martin referring to Endicott? OR is Martin referring to something that Malcolm’s repressed from his childhood?

10:30 - “I always root for the bad guys.” .....finally some truth from Martin.

10:40 - Soooooo I guess Mr. David doesn’t know? I promise you Mr. David has suspicions though. How could he not?!?!

11:24 - “It was brutal for Ains.” Look at how sad Malcolm is! Ugh. This hurts so much. He clearly loves his sister so so much and what she’s done is slowly killing him. I honestly think that part of the reason Malcolm helped Ainsley dispose of the body is that Malcolm doesn’t want to loose his sister. His sister is one of the only good things he’s always been able to count on. If word gets around that she’s a killer - Malcolm’s fragile world gets shattered a little more and I don’t know if Malcolm can recover mentally from that.

11:36 - “Teasing made her capable of...stuff.” C’MON. There’s no way Mr. David doesn’t know.

11:45 - Sooo is Martin saying that he recognized that Ainsley was a sociopath when she was a small child? Or did she just respond to his (or John Watkins’) grooming much ‘better’ than Malcolm?

11:56 - “Because she’s her mother’s” Okay. So I see the point. I can see that Ainsley is driven and stubborn like Jessica. BUT it feels like Martin is suggesting that Jessica is capable of murder? Which - I honestly don’t think she is. If anything - Malcolm is more like Jessica than Ainsley is.

11:59 - There was a look in Martin’s eyes when he was comparing Ainsley to Jessica that really freaked me out. I can’t figure out why. It makes me wonder if Martin still somehow views Jessica as ‘his possession’ (he refers to her as his wife all the time but I always assumed that was just to get a rise out of people?). Martin’s dream from 2x4 certainly suggests that he still wants Jessica romantically. I honestly think he’s going to try to escape and rekindle the romance with Jess; and it’s going to go very poorly when Jessica rejects him.

12:06 - Preach JT. Preach. This is creepy af.

13:00 - Ugh. Of course this creep has a history of indecent exposure. Now I understand why Gil and JT were hostile with the dude right from the start.

13:12 - Man. People will use the Bible to justify anything. No wonder people hate Christians ( I say this as a practicing Christian).

13:18 - JT is such a good dude. I’m so glad he’s a dad now. <3 He’s going to be such a good one. <3

13:26 - “One phone call and this place will be shut down.” OH SHIT. GIL THAT IS VICIOUS AND I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

13:35 - I soooo thought that dude was going to sprint out of that room.

14:30 - THIS. YES. This is why I have a problem with Ainsley’s enthusiasm for murder vs. Malcolm’s. Ainsley’s enthusiasm is centred on her nee to ‘get the story’. She’s obsessed with forwarding her career and as a result she’s treating crime like a competitive sport. Malcolm’s obsession (while it can border on creepy and reckless) is always centred on his need to find the killer and stop the murders. Malcolm is seeking justice and his heart is in the right place. I can’t say the same for Ainsley.

14:31 - “We’re brother and sister, everything is a competitive sport”.....whoever wrote this doesn’t have a sibling they experienced trauma with as a kid (and as a result was raised by a single parent). Seriously, my dad was abusive he lived with us until I was 10 and my brother was 7. Then my parents got divorced and my mom was a single parent (he didn’t pay child support or see his kids after the divorce). Are my brother and I competitive? Sure sometimes. But the way we grew up forced us to become partners. Annoyed with Mom? Let’s rant about it together. Is he struggling in math? I’ll tutor him in exchange for a Reese cup. Am I struggling at daycare because I have massive social anxiety? He’ll include me in whatever he’s doing so I’m not sitting alone in a corner. My point: siblings who experience trauma together don’t have the typical sibling relationships that are widely televised in North America. There’s a lot less fighting and competition and a lot more teaming up and commiserating.

14:39 - “It. It’s terrible.” - Notice how Ainsley didn’t actually say how it made her feel? She gave the standard “TV response” to a murder “a terrible/horrific/tragedy has occurred”. She doesn’t feel bad that these women are dead. She’s too consumed with getting a story to even stop and let herself feel anything. I’ve been saying it since last season - the way Ainsley shows no regard for other people and their feelings when she’s obsessed with her job is concerning.

14:50 - “Remind me of the people who cut us off after Dad’s arrest.” ...Are you kidding me?!? The whole fandom has been speculating about this since early season one and they’re not going to elaborate on that line?!? I’m going to need some more information about this and it better be in the upcoming episode where Jessica’s younger sister appears.

15:40 - She thinks of her students as family? Sooo what does she think of Ainsley? Wasn’t Ainsley bullied at this school? Did she do anything about it?

16:00 - this is like a ‘weekend/evening school’ right? Kids aren’t living in this house like a boarding school/summer camp?

16:01 - “Mr. Whitly” UGH. This bitch preaches etiquette and she doesn’t even have the common courtesy to call Malcolm by the name with which he introduced himself? Nah. I don’t like her.

16:13 - Ugh. Ainsley, seriously? Why don’t you help your brother solve the case. AND PREVENT MORE MURDERS. Why are you indirectly but purposely obstructing justice?

16:37 - “Of course.” Huh. Do you think Martin might try and manipulate Ainsley into killing Malcolm? Ainsley definitely capable of it. She doesn’t actually seem to care about Malcolm nearly as much as he cares about her.

17:17 - WTF?!? That’s creepy af. How did no one in this show think this assistant was a suspect? She has a super creepy doll that she ‘forgot’ on the floor the middle of a hallway. AND THE DOLL WAS STANDING UP. Not sitting, not dropped carelessly, STANDING UP.

17:30 - Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s definitely going to be having nightmares about that doll.

18:25 - OMG. This was amazing. JT just totally bulldozed his way into catching that dude. Very badass. Also kind of funny (maybe that’s just my messed up sense of humour again?).

18:44 - Ugh. This dude has a thing for dolls. I don’t want to kink shame but - no. no. There’s something really gross about that.

18:48 - I’ve seen some people say that this doll looks like Ainsley and how that’s supposed to be some sort of foreshadowing/symbolism. I kind of see it? I mean the hair colour is similar and if you pause the screen at 18:48 the angle kind of looks like Ainsley? It would be an interesting metaphor though - Ainsley played with dolls as a little girl. John Watkins gave her angel statues. She is Watkins’ and Martin’s doll’ in the sense that she was the object that murders manipulated/groomed.

18:53 - Then again, pause the screen here and there’s something about the facial structure that looks like Dani to me.

19:00 - Jessica lets Ainsley work in the murder office?!? No. No she doesn’t. This is garbage. Jessica would’ve forbade it. Jessica would’ve bordered up this room immediately after Watkins.

19:57 - Poor Jessica. She’s clearly terrified that she’s losing Ainsley and terrified of Ainsley. BUT Jess, sweetie, running to Europe won’t fix this.

20:16 - “She wanted the dolls to look like her students.” AND PEOPLE SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO HER?!? WTF?!? NO. NO. NO. NOT OKAY.

20:31 - HAHA look at Gil’s face when Trevor tells him he can make the ‘perfect woman’. Gil’s like WTF - can I arrest you for thinking you can fabricate a ‘perfect woman’?!!?

21:06 - Malcolm is having so much fun playing with Trevor’s doll head. Look at how excited he is. It’s kind of adorable but his manic energy is showing which is concerning.

21:10 - Why is Trevor giving his doll fancy 1940s(ish) names?

21:31 - Props to LDP. I honestly believed Gil was annoyed with Malcolm for barging in on the interrogation the first time I watched this.

21:42 - “They got a word for everything.” hahaha OMG. This is so reminiscent of a teenager explaining some new tech to their tech-illiterate parents.

22:00 - I can’t tell if Gil feels sorry for this creep or if he just thinks the dude is really gross. Probably a mixture.

23:00 - Oh we’re bringing up the chloroform again. At least Malcolm knows not listen to Martin about this nonsense.

23:25 - “It doesn’t feel fun.” - THIS. This is why I honestly don’t think Malcolm will ever become a serial killer. His guilt complex is just too big.

23:56 - Are. You. Kidding. Me? This is next level. Ainsley is so out of line here. AND SHE SHOWS NO REMORSE. SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE’S DONE ANYTHING WRONG. THIS GIRL HAS GONE DARK SIDE (she was already halfway there).

24:17 - I’m getting papa!Gil vibes when Gil is talking to Ainsley and I want more scenes of them interacting. Seriously, did Gil have a relationship with Ainsley when she was a kid? I MUST KNOW.

24:45 - Ainsley has no conscience. I honestly don’t think Ainsley has a conscience.

25:00 - “Who is that!?” Malcolm is totally acting like he’s Ainsley’s father-figure right now. I’m here for it.

25:22 - SORE LOSERS?!? I’m sorry. What? If you weren’t concerned about Ainsley you damn well should be now. That is seriously messed up. People are dead. This is not a game. Do you know who else thought murder was a game? Martin Whitly.

25:31 - Okay. Ainsley has a point. Malcolm lecturing anyone about being reckless is pretty hypocritical. But at least Malcolm cares about her.

25:54 - Heart. Shattered. Look at how terrified Jessica is. Look at how gentle and reassuring Gil is. UGh. WHY DID SHE BREAK UP WITH HIM??! I mean, I know why I just think she’s a moron for doing it.

26:00 - Poor Gil. He’s so confused and so concerned. The whole Whitly family is acting crazier then usual and he doesn’t know why.

26:11 - “Both you and Malcolm are at an 11 and I’ve never seen Ainsley like that.” FIND YOURSELF A MAN WHO CARES LIKE GIL AND NEVER LET HIM GO. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Seriously. The love and concern he shows for this family warms my cold dead heart.

26:16 - “Her father?!” Oh shit. Now Gil knows there’s something BIG happening. Jessica would never run to Martin unless she absolutely had to.

26:19 - annnnd Gil’s also being a prideful man who’s feeling are hurt. “You went to him?” He’s right to be though - the woman he loves went to a serial killer for advice before going to the guy who practically co-parented with her.

26:33 - “I’m here. Whatever you need. I’m here.” <3 <3 Gil is the definition of a good man. <3 I’m in love with it.

26:48 - “You were right on time for me.” ....*snort* subtle Gil (and in front of JT!!)

27:08 - Edrisa is hysterical on caffeine. hahaha. This whole scene is perfect.

27:20 - You know someone is acting manic when Malcolm Bright is concerned about their eccentric behaviour.

27:34 - Annnnnd Tom Payne was a split second from breaking character here. I don’t blame him. hahaha

28:05 - EDRISA flipping and dropping that pencil. HAHAHAHAHAHA

29:10 - “Absolutely not.” hahaha this is funny but also really sweet. Malcolm knows that Edrisa hopped up on caffeine isn’t safe to have near an active killer. Who knows what’ll happen. I wish he’d care that much about his own well being. Looks like calling for backup last episode was a one time thing.

30:37 - I’ll give the writers one thing - Miss Windsor makes a convincing murder suspect.

31:22 - GIL. STANDING. UP. FOR. JT. IS. EVERYTHING. Where is O’Malley’s back up? Oh yeah, they’re not brave enough to defend him.

32:00 - Huh. Bright texted for backup. This is growth. I’m proud of him.

32:15 - YES. This JT arc was handled right. Sure JT could’ve complained. It would’ve been episodes upon episodes of bureaucratic nightmares and injustice. This show isn’t about racism. They showed enough to portray that the system is broken and they had JT act like a responsible adult. It’s not fair that JT had to go through this or that he’ll likely experience something similar to it again. But the fact that JT is acting like a bigger person is perfect. JT will protect his family. Always. That includes Malcolm. So JT avoids putting through a formal complaint because he knows that will take time away from doing his job, from protecting others, from hanging out with his wife and kid. JT’s taking the higher road, it might not be gratifying or fair but I respect the hell out of him for taking it.

32:28 - Gil is so so proud of JT. Look at him. <3 <3

33:40 - Look, Miss Windsor is a bit of a stuck up bitch but she has a good heart. Look at the way she immediately tells Malcolm where Ainsley is when she realizes what’s happening.

34:14 - This confused me during the first watch - Ainsley obviously didn’t drink any tea - so why is she drugged? (obviously I know now).

34:17 - Big brother Malcolm frantically looking for Ainsley is so so sweet. <3

35:42 - The music, the dolls, and Miss Windsor’s speech here. There’s something about this part of the episode that is strangely reminiscent of 5x16 of Criminal Minds.

36:20 - ......does Miss Windsor have some sort of mental illness? She’s talking to herself and ranting erratically. Is this just emotional stress or something deeper?

37:00 - This is why Malcolm’s not a serial killer. Even now- looking at a killer - he’s trying to sympathize with her. He’s trying to understand why. He’s trying to calm her down, diffuse the threat, and get her mental help.

39:00 - Oh yeah. Ainsley was definitely going to kill without remorse. Again. I’ve seen some theories that Ainsley only ever tries to kill to protect Malcolm. I disagree. I think Ainsley’s trying to protect herself. Ainsley is pissed off that this girl tried to drug her and kill her because she thinks Ainsley is wicked. Ainsley was pissed at Endicott for whatever he did to Ainsley before Malcolm got there. I think Ainsley felt threatened and scared so she reacted. I don’t think this has anything to do with protecting Malcolm.

39:41 - Malcolm isn’t a killer. Look. He smells gas but he takes the time to carry an unconscious murderer (who literally just tried to kill his sister) out of the building.

40:00 - The drama. Holy hell. What a weird ending to this case.

40:48 - Who gave Ainsley a police jacket and let her keep it?

41:14 - She almost died and she’s still obsessing over ‘winning’. This is seriously unstable behaviour. Way more concerning than anything Malcolm’s done since 2x1.

41:45 - “My father was a serial killer also.” Anyone else super irritated by that phrasing?!? Just me?!? Something about the ‘also’ feels super wrong to me.

41:53 - Oh sweetie. I’d argue that you are more messed up than Malcolm.

42:06 - Jessica went to see Martin twice in one episode. THIS IS BAD.

42:15 - “Maybe even more so than Malcolm if that’s possible.” Jessica knows her kids. I’m on her side here.

42:20 - Martin is way too happy about Ainsley showing signs of serial killing.

42:30 - Jessica? You married an act. That man never existed. He’s always been a serial killer. You just didn’t know it. He’s manipulative and you were a victim to it.

42:50 - “A partner.” OH THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL. ESPECIALLY FOR THE GIL/JESSICA ARC.

Okay....so definitely the weakest episode of the season so far. AND the fact that we got no mention of Tally and/or the baby this episode is a crime.

BUT I’M SO SO SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. It’s going to be a televised fanfic and I can’t wait.

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melodiouswhite · 4 years

Text

Kópakonan

(A/N: This one has an androgynous character in it, who uses male pronouns, but refers to himself as ‘hermaphrodite’. I would have used the term ‘intersexual’, but I wasn’t sure, whether it’s accurate. If there are inaccuracies, don’t hesitate to enlighten me in the comments, please. There also will be mention of rape, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, bullying and abuse, just a warning.)

Henry Jekyll tilted his head, as he read the passage:

“The Faeroese know the legend of the Kópakonan, the Seal Woman. The lore has it, that seals are the reborn spirits of humans, who drowned themselves in the sea. Once a year, on the twelfth night of the year, they are allowed to shed their seal skin and go onto land as humans to amuse themselves with song and dance. In the morning, they slip back into their seal skins and return to the sea.”

The article went on with an exemplary tale from one specific island:

A farmer heard of the lore and went to watch the seals that night, to see if it was true. He saw that it was and stole the skin of a beautiful seal lady. As he refused to give it back, despite her pleading, she had no choice than to follow him and become his wife. So she lived in that forced marriage with him and had several children with him. And because he was a douche, he kept the seal skin locked away and always carried the key around, so she couldn't get it back. But one day, he forgot the key at home and when he realised it and came back, the seal lady was already gone and back with her seal husband, because obviously she'd had a life, before some twat had abducted and force married her. But a few years later, the farmer and some of his friends decided to go seal hunting in a specific cave. Before the hunt, he had a dream, where his former wife appeared and warned him not to kill her seal husband and family. And of course, because he was an arsehole, he proceeded to kill them all and kept the bull seal's head and the flippers of the baby seals. The Kópakonan, rightfully enraged, cursed him and everybody else on the island to die a horrible death, until there were enough dead people to lock hands and form a chain around the island.

“… And to this day it is said, when someone dies by drowning or falling off a cliff, that the people of Kalsoy know that the Kópakonan's revenge is not yet complete.”

Henry clapped the book shut and shook his head.

He felt bad for the seal woman and her family.

Being a woman who had drowned herself had to be hard enough on its own. But then, just when she had found happiness with another seal, she had to be tormented by such terrible events! To be coerced into a relationship by some arsehole, who then proceeded to kill your loved ones! Baby seals no less! Innocent, cute little baby seals, who got brutally maimed out of spite, because her mother had dared to choose her actual family over the arsehole, who had forced her to marry him!

Sure, it was just a folk tale, but this was just too much!

He needed a walk. A good, old walk at the sea side, to catch some of that good, old sea breeze.

As he walked along the strand, he reflected on how different life here was from the city. He didn't regret moving to the small village in the highest north of Scotland. Sure, it wasn't as exciting as faraway London, but it was peaceful and quiet and the people were nice in their way. Besides, he was the only doctor around here. People relied on him and it felt good. Everyone knew each other here and he knew all of his patients. They got along. It felt … not lonely.

Of course there were some bitter memories. Memories that he never spoke of.

He sighed, sat on a rock and looked out to the sea. It was a windy day and the sea was wild here in the north.

It looked powerful. Wide. Free. Inviting.

It was eerie how inviting the ocean was. Perhaps it was nice … cold and untamed, endless room and freedom. It was so easy to relate to the people, who had chosen its watery embrace rather than a dry death at land …

But before he could spiral further into dark thoughts, he heard a moan. He looked around, but couldn't see anyone. Huh. With a shrug he turned his attention back to the sea.

Probably just the wind. It howled quite a bit here.

Maybe I should go back, he thought and stood up.

But then there was another moan, louder this time.

Alright, that was definitely not the wind.

“Hello? Is anyone out here?”, he shouted.

The response was a pained cry. It sounded like a boy's voice.

Henry followed it to a hidden, rocky bay. After a few minutes of search, he finally found the owner of the voice.

To his surprise, it was a brunette girl and she was completely naked, to his embarrassment.

She was clutching her ankle and groaning in pain.

So he gave himself a mental slap. Pull yourself together, Henry! You're a doctor and she needs help!

“Are you alright?”, he called out to her.

She jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly covered her chest, when she saw him.

“Don't worry, I mean you no harm!”, he assured her, while approaching cautiously.

But she didn't seem to buy it, just curled in on herself and scowled.

“Who are you?”, she snarled suspiciously. “How did you find this bay? Humans aren't supposed to find it!”

What the hell does she mean by that? Oh, never mind. I can ask her later.

“Don't be afraid, I'm a doctor”, he told her, “I heard you and wanted to help.”

“A doctor?” Her acid green eyes narrowed. “And you really just want to help?”

He frowned. “If you think what I suspect you're thinking, I promise your suspicions are unfounded. Just let me help you. Your ankle needs medical attention and you need to get somewhere warm.”

“I feel neither heat nor cold”, she replied indifferently. “But … do you really mean it?”

“I promise”, Henry responded earnestly, “I just want to help and do my duty as a doctor.”

It seemed to work, as she relaxed considerably and allowed him to come closer. When he had reached her, he cave her his coat to cover herself and provide some warmth.

Now he could finally focus on her ankle, which was obviously broken.

“Did you slip on the rocks?”, he asked, and added: “Where are your clothes? What were you doing out here at this time of the year anyway? It's January, the sea is just as freezing as the land!”

“It's not your concern!”, she snapped, “You wouldn't believe it anyway. And my clothing is over there.” She pointed to a nearby rock.

He went over to fetch it. But when he held it up, he gaped. “A seal skin?!”

“Yes!”, she snapped, “My skin! Give it back!”

His frown deepened. “I will. Once I have treated your ankle. It's broken and as long as that's the case, I'm afraid you have to stay with me.”

She began to howl with rage and tried to stand up. But since she couldn't stand, she fell back down and her angry howling became pained.

His heart hurt, when she attempted to hide away in his coat and began to sob.

“Now, now”, he spoke softly and patted her back. “I won't keep you longer than necessary, I promise.”

He picked her up bridal style and carried her off.

Once there, he went to get her some clothes. Sadly, since she was so tiny, he had nothing that fit her. So all he could do was hope that she wouldn't be too bothered by wearing oversized clothing.

“Alright, Miss. I'm afraid I have-”

“I'm not a Miss”, she cut him off. Then she spread her legs to reveal …

“Oh”, Henry breathed.

“What's the matter? Never seen a hermaphrodite before?”

“No. As a matter of fact I have not.”

“Whatever. But just for the record, my name is Edward Hyde, so it's 'Sir' and 'Mister' to you!”

The doctor frowned. “I don't see how you have earned the honorific 'Sir', Mr. Hyde”, he retorted coolly and handed him the clothes. “Now do get dressed. Just because I'm a doctor doesn't mean I'm comfortable talking to naked people.”

Hyde huffed and put on the shirt and pullover. He hissed in pain, when the other put a plaster cast on his ankle and growled angrily, when being told that it would take at least a month to heal.

The rudeness frustrated Henry – he was just trying to help! – but when he saw the genuine distress in the other's eyes, he swallowed another cold remark.

“I have a vacant room, where you can sleep”, he offered gently.

“Whatever”, the brunette muttered. “Where is my skin?”

“It's right here”, Henry told him and picked it up. “I will hang it up in the hallway, where you can see it. However”, he added, when the brunette's face brightened up, “I will hang it onto the highest hook. Just to make sure you don't sneak away, before I can be sure that your ankle has healed properly.”

Both of them knew that there it would be out of Hyde's reach.

Which promptly made the young one burst into tears.

When Henry went to bed, he thought about the events of the day and about the small brunette, who was now sleeping in his guest room.

This was all very messed up.

And it was a real shame that the … boy was so resentful.

Henry had never met an androgynous person before and he was genuinely curious.

Unfortunately, he was also attracted.

He had seen the brunette naked and liked the sight more than he was comfortable with.

Hyde had feminine hips, a small waist and a feminine face, yet his body was strong. Then there were those perfect breasts that Henry struggled hard not to think about. His voice was husky and as androgynous as the rest of him. His hair was long, wavy and café noir brown, contrasting milk white skin.

Henry had never known that this was his type, until he had seen it. And it had been so hard to be professional and not stare at that perfect body like a total creep. No one liked to be leered at, especially not by someone whose help they needed! That was disgusting!

And it wasn't even the only thing. There was something unnatural about the brunette (and he did not mean his body, there was nothing unnatural about that!). He had so many questions!

But he also was resolved to stick to his promise and not keep him around for longer than necessary. Even though he really wanted to …

Henry groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

Those will be long, long weeks!

A part of him hoped, that his patient would continue acting like a brat, so it would be easier to part with him eventually.

Over the next weeks, Hyde's ankle healed just like it was supposed to.

But overall he wasn't faring well. Every day Henry caught him look out to the sea longingly, pining away and crying bitterly.

Henry felt horrible for him. But at the same time he didn't want him to leave just yet. He had so many questions to the small brunette.

Hyde didn't answer all of them, but some.

After some prying, he told him that he was a Selkie. Henry hadn't believed it at first, but Hyde had provided irrefutable points and he had to admit defeat.

After answering some questions about how it was being a seal, the brunette finally agreed to talk about himself. The brunette had become a seal after drowning himself, more than 400 years ago. At his birth he had been thought to be a normal girl and been named Máiri. But once it had become apparent that he wasn't a girl, they had … well, treated him the way unusual children had been treated in the late 16th century. At some point the abuse had become too much and he had flung himself off a cliff into the sea at the age of eighteen.

“I just couldn't take the beatings, insults and murder attempts anymore. I saw no point in living on and I thought that on the bottom of the sea no one would be able to hurt me.”

“That's terrible!”, Henry had asked in horror.

Hyde had smiled bitterly. “Not to them. To them I was terrible. Devil's child, changeling, spawn of Hell, Antichrist … I've heard it all.”

When Henry had informed him that he didn't regard him as anything of that sort, Hyde had rewarded him with the most beautiful smile.

And it had been so hard not to kiss those gorgeous lips.

He was happy in the sea, he said. And he was so adept in modern English, because he hung out with younger Selkies a lot. He still remember the old tongue, though. As proof, he proceeded to speak a few sentences in said tongue, but went back to modern English, when he saw Henry's confused expression. He was from here, but had come around a lot over the centuries. At some point he had decided, that he wanted to be Edward Hyde, rather than Máiri NicDhómhnaill.

When the blond asked him, if he knew that Faeroese folk tale he had read about, he nodded.

“To us Selkies it's a cautionary tale not to trust humans. I actually met her once. We bonded over the shit humans put us through. I'm surprised that you know the tale, though.”

Henry blushed. “I read about it in a folk tale book. Stop laughing!”, he snapped, when Hyde started to cackle.

The blond puffed his cheeks and pouted, making the brunette laugh even more.

“Do you …” Henry was afraid to ask this, because he was afraid of the answer. But he had to know. “… have a family?”

At hearing this question, Hyde immediately burst into tears.

“… I guess that's a yes.”

The brunette nodded and cried harder.

Henry handed him a paper tissue, comforted him and tried to ignore how his own heart was currently shattering into pieces.

Later that night, he was the one who cried.

Of course. How could he have been so self-centred as to hope, that this 400-year-old Selkie didn't have a life of his own?!

Fuck, I'm even more of an egotistical arsehole than I thought!

In the morning, when both were calm enough, Hyde told him a little about his family.

“I have a husband – the most wonderful man you could meet. We met about thirty years ago and bonded over being ostracised. Then we fell in love and married and that was okay, because the sea doesn't care about sexes.”

Hyde sighed dreamily. “He's the most handsome man in the world, he's intelligent, sensible, profound, a real sweetheart and we just have so much in common!”

Henry didn't want to hear it. But he didn't want to be a total dick, so he swallowed his bitterness and pretended to like what he heard.

“That's wonderful. I'm glad you finally found happiness. It's just sad that you had to wait for it so long.”

Well, at least that wasn't a lie.

The brunette's smile became bitter.

“Actually, I've had a family before. But that was 200 years ago. Then some bastard stole my skin and forced me to marry him and the rest was just like in the Faeroese folk tale. Minus the curse, of course. I just drove him into madness. My skin was stolen many times more during the last 400 years, but most of them let me go, when they saw that I'm a hermaphrodite. But some didn't care and proceeded to abduct, use and knock me up, like that's all I'm good for.”

Henry's heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

That explains his apprehension towards me. Damn, why is the world so cruel!

The Selkie continued: “I thought I would never be happy again, until I met him. He is all that matters to me and I want to spend the rest of my existence with him. I … I just love him so much!”

Henry's heart shattered into even smaller pieces.

“What I forgot to ask earlier”, he spoke up at dinner, “May I know the name of the lucky man whom you married?”

Hyde tilted his head and looked at him suspiciously. But then he seemed to decide, that it was safe.

“His name is Hastie Lanyon.”

Henry's eyes widened.

Suddenly images flashed before his eyes.

Images of an auburn-haired young man with mismatched eyes, one pale blue, the other amber. A boy with a radiant, sweet smile, who had once been his friend. Then he had drowned himself, just like Edward. He had jumped from the very same cliffs.

And now these two were …

“Speaking of names”, Hyde stated, pulling him out of his stupor, “You never told me yours, Doctor.”

He gulped. “My name is Henry Jekyll … Hastie … he was my best friend.”

Now it was Hyde's turn to stare. “Henry Jekyll”, he breathed, “No way!”

They spent the rest of the night sitting on Hyde's bed, talking about Lanyon.

Hyde said that he was fine and happier, where he was now. It wasn't hard to believe for Henry.

Turned out that the auburn-haired man had told Hyde quite a lot about him.

And the brunette seemed to be very interested in his side of the story.

The blond had so many fond memories of his dearest friend.

But there also were bad ones.

Like the fight they'd had shortly before Lanyon had committed suicide.

“I called him so many terrible things”, Henry confessed quietly. “And he killed himself just a few days later. I never got to apologise properly. And I never got to tell him …”

The lump in his throat prevented him from speaking any further.

Hyde was looking at him strangely, his bright green eyes knowing.

“You loved him.”

Henry nodded and turned away.

Hyde took his hand. “You blame yourself, don't you? Listen, Henry. He didn't kill himself, because of the things you said.”

Henry looked up. “He did not?”

The brunette shook his head. “No. He killed himself for other reasons. I'm in no position to tell you, why. Just know this: apart from that fight, he told me nothing but good about you. And …” A blush painted that milky face. “I'm pleasantly surprised to find that you fit his description.”

Henry blinked. “Really?

Hyde nodded. “For example, he said that you would never force someone to do something they don't want. Not to sound like a narcissist, but I know that you want me, Henry. I have seen it in your eyes. Don't think I haven't noticed, how you force yourself not to constantly stare at me. But somehow you manage not to. And you never touched me or even so much as flirted at me. I …” He blushed harder. “You're the first human to take my skin and treat me with basic decency. You could have done unspeakable things to me, like all the others before, but you chose to respect my boundaries instead. You always act professionally towards me. I'm really thankful for that.”

It wasn't long until the day came, that Henry evaluated the latest x-ray scans and found, that Hyde's ankle had healed perfectly. And the tiny brunette could walk just fine.

Knowing that he had to live up to his promise, he went into the hallway and took the seal coat off the hook.

It was so hard.

But he had kept him away from home more than long enough.

And he refused to be like the arsehole from the legend.

He found him sitting at the window, gazing out to the sea, as always.

“Edward?”

The brunette gasped, when the seal skin was placed into his hands.

Henry smiled gently. “I did promise to let you go, as soon as I could be sure that your ankle has healed properly, didn't I?”

Henry felt a little better, when he was allowed to accompany the Selkie back to the bay.

He looked away, when Hyde stripped out of the borrowed clothes. But then Hyde's throaty voice told him: “Turn around. I know you want to watch, when I leave.”

Henry braced himself and turned around.

He couldn't help but blush at how beautiful the Selkie was.

Hyde allowed him to look at his human form a last time, before taking his seal skin and slipping inside. In an instant, he began to morph and became a white seal with dark brown dots on his coat.

Henry gasped and stared in awe.

The seal looked at him with his black seal eyes, before crawling towards the sea and finally vanishing into the waves. A moment later, the seal resurfaced and this time he wasn't alone. A second seal with a red-brown coat was with him and they were leaping around each other, bellowing happily.

Henry knew, who it was and couldn't help but smile.

Lanyon had waited for his partner the entire time.

He saw the seals look towards him and waved.

They waved back with their flippers, before diving back into the ocean.

He looked onto the sea for a while, before picking up the left-behind clothes and going home.

Once there, he went to the kitchen and sank onto a chair.

It was better this way.

After a life full of suffering, Lanyon had finally found someone to love and who loved him back. It had only been right to let the love of his afterlife return to him.

Hyde and Lanyon deserved to live a happy and free life as seals. That was their life. That was where they belonged.

They were happy together. And he was happy for them.

So why was his heart broken?

Why was he feeling so hollow and so much lonelier than before?

Henry buried his face in his arms and sobbed.

It had been the right thing to do and he didn't regret it, but it hurt!

He awoke in the late evening.

When he sat up, his back was stiff. Damn, had he cried himself to sleep on the table?

With a groan he stood up. Time to follow his usual evening routine.

But when he wanted to leave the kitchen, there was a scratching at the window.

Weird.

Curious as to what it might be, he went to look.

He opened the window just in time to see a seagull fly away.

Strange.

Just as he wanted to close the window again, he noticed, that there was something lying on the window sill. When he took it inside into the light, he saw that it was a piece of wood.

But something was written on it in an antiquated handwriting:

“Come to the beach where you found me, next year, on the 12th night of January. For this is the only time when we can become human again. I will not take 'no' for an answer.

- E. Hyde.”

Henry stared at the message incredulously.

Then he smiled.

#The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll #henry jekyll #Mr. Hyde #edward hyde #dr lanyon #Hastie Lanyon #another crossover #selkies #kópakonan #faeroese folklore #androgynous character #tw: mention of rape #tw: mention of forced marriage #tw: mention of forced pregnancy #tw: mention of bullying #tw: mention of abuse

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lunaathorne · 5 years

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Y'all, I've had it. The last straw. Saw someone compare Sev and Lily's relationship to Noorhell.

I don't know how many pro Snape friends of mine here watch SKAM, but the general gist is that the pair Noorhell (actually Noorhelm😂) consists of - Noora and William. Noora is an intelligent, beautiful, principled and kind person who becomes a lovesick, weak, pathetic and kinda annoying character after she falls in love with Willrat, a privileged, abusive, bad boy. Aaand they end up together.

Saw a Snater call Noorhell Snily, but canon....and I think I bust a lung laughing cause let's do a rundown of William again, shall we?

- the guy is friggin rich. Everything about him shouts wealth. He swaggers into school in a swanky car and probably wears high fashion garments. Was Sev rich? Sev, of the hand-me-down robes and greasy hair? No. But who was the rich kid in his time? Who was the guy who was the epitome of privilege and wealth at Hogwarts, to the point that even Harry notices it in SWM?

- William roams around with a gang of boys called the Penetrators. Every girl wants to get laid with them. They are mischief makers. William's right-hand man is this dude called Chris, who is like the ultimate definition of an edgy frat boy. They are all popular and outgoing. Let's see....a rich guy with a badass, roguish best friend and a stupid squad name. Wonder who THAT was.

- William gets off on emotionally harassing Vilde, Noora's close female friend. He has sex with her, then ignores her completely (we are talking about a girl from a dysfunctional family, she also suffers from eating disorder and has severe self esteem issues), charades her like a trophy, leads to her complete emotional breakdown, and when she confronts her, he tells the young, vulnerable girl that she is not good enough for him. Noora ticks him off and he begins to like her. Remind me again which guy engaged in targeted harassment during this time at Hogwarts and kept on pursuing it, while also liking Lily?

- finally William practically coerces Noora into going on a date with him if she needs him to stop ruining Vilde. My, my. Such parallels, much similarities. Almost reminds me of a certain someone telling Lily to go out on a date with him if she wants him to stop bullying her close friend.

- they then develop feelings for each other (surprise!) And several toxic moments, emotional manipulations, cringy dialogues and unnecessary storylines later become THE couple of SKAM. In the middle that Chris dude has a fling with Noora's bestie Eva. Kind of like...oh I don't know, how marauders' fanlore imagine Sirius and Marlene McKinnon to be.

-"William changed" "how?" "By <insert deed of basic decency that is the bare minimum>"

- Noorhell stans love shouting about how this pair shouldn't be criticised because without them SKAM wouldn't exist (apparently they were the original characters who were the basis of the show) Kind of like how certain people love shouting about the other pair, cause without them "WE WOULDN'T HAVE HARREH"

But Noorhell= Snily. Sure. Whatever rocks your boat.

I've had it with these entitled fans. Nobody loves embarrassing themselves so much.

#pro snape #anti marauders #anti jily #anti james p*tter #severus snape #anti noorhelm #anti noorhell #anti william #pro Severus snape #pro snily #snily #discourse

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traitor-boyfriend · 6 years

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I just read your post about Stan and Kyle's relationship and I totally agree, but I was wondering if you might elaborate on what you mean when you said Kyle acts as a moral/ethical guide for Stan? I'm not disagreeing but I'd love to hear you talk more about it

sure!

kyle is obviously the most morally fixated of the four boys and i would say after about season four or so is when they really began to take this direction with his character. whenever something transpires within the group, kyle is almost always the first to disagree w whatever plot they (’they’ almost always meaning cartman) start brainstorming to keep themselves from getting into trouble, that they should instead own up to their mistakes and take responsibility and suffer the consequences that come along w it. rarely if ever does anyone actually listen to kyle and he’s cajoled into complicity but that doesn’t stop him from offering his disapproval at every turn in the name of wanting to do the right thing. the best example of this is ‘toilet paper’ where they tp their art teacher’s house for making them stay late; kenny and stan are immediately on board when cartman suggests it but kyle is uncomfortable w the idea entirely, and after it’s done he’s racked w guilt and is seen as the weakest link in all of them b/c of his compulsion to tell the truth. we get to see kyle struggling w guilt pretty often and the apex of it is usually when some outside force is preventing or coercing him from coming clean about whatever it is he’s done. though stan and kyle both shared the whole ‘gay little speech’ element in the very beginning, it’s pretty much been exclusive to kyle for the majority of the series -- kyle is the one to always explain what they learned at the end of the episode, to tie together the moral lesson you’re supposed to take away from it

because he’s a kid, kyle can occasionally be swayed out of his conviction if the consequences are great enough for him to be afraid of (this tends to be his mom). when butters’ gets the ninja star stuck in his eye in ‘good times with weapons’, kyle initially panics and agrees with cartman’s idea to kill butters and bury him in kyle’s backyard b/c he’s so petrified by the idea of his mother finding out what he was doing. but even then his moral center comes back around, even if he doesn’t follow through; he protests the idea of taking butters to a vet instead of a hospital and later tries to get rid of his ninja weapon and instead confess to what happened. in ‘crack baby athletic association’ kyle is outraged and disgusted by what he sees as cartman exploiting the babies born addicted to narcotics and wants to expose him, but he changes his tune after learning how much money cartman is making. so he eventually joins cartman but justifies it to himself as taking care of these babies, giving them opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise get, raising awareness, etc -- even though he’s in the wrong, kyle tries to view his actions through a benevolent lens in that what he’s doing -is- the right thing; that’s why it bothers him so much when stan tells him he sounds just like cartman. stan is seeing both of their actions clearly in the same vein, but in kyle’s mind, he’s incapable of conceiving himself being in anyway like cartman and has to further delude himself into seeing the positives of his actions. he goes as far as showing up in stan’s bedroom in the middle of the night to legitimize his actions, both to himself and to stan, because stan’s opinion of him matters so much that kyle can’t move past it unless he’s able to convince stan that he’s in the right. to his credit, kyle does try to rectify his actions with the ea sports deal and building an orphanage and whatnot. two wrongs don’t make a right, but that won’t stop kyle from trying.

basically i’m just trying to fully highlight the extent of kyle’s dedication to being honest, being kind, being a good person etc. it matters a lot to him and it’s also touched on briefly now and then w regards to his being jewish -- that being a good person is important if not only for the sake of being a good person.

it’s not that stan isn’t concerned w being a good person or doing the right thing, but he has more of a selfish or self-centered impulse than kyle does. stan cares a great deal more than kyle of what people think of him and is more desperate to be accepted or liked by his peers, so he’s often subservient to the whims of passing trends and fads or following the crowd. this is a debatable point but i also think because of this stan is generally more prone to blatant egotism than kyle -- when he leads some kind of superficial crusade (’butterballs’, ‘scause for applause’, ‘bass to mouth’), it’s pretty plainly about himself and his own feelings whereas when kyle gets wrapped up in a similar power-trip it’s usually at least manifested/disguised in some cause greater than himself, even if it’s a self-centered one.

i’m gonna touch on the examples i provided above briefly:

-butterballs: stan begins the anti-bullying campaign initially out of concern for butters but when he sees how highly his classmates regard him for taking a stand, it very quickly divulges into stan riding the high of peer approval w regards to the music video, making it seen, going on dr. oz etc. kyle is the only one who finds fault with it -- “don’t act for me, stan, really” is a really caustic but honest assessment of the situation on kyle’s end b/c he sees that stan is more concerned w how his efforts are being received and praised rather than helping butters. again highlighted by their interaction in the bathroom when stan insists his video needs to be seen by everyone and kyle tells him to put it on the internet for free instead if he feels that way. stan is dumbstruck b/c he doesn’t know how to defend himself b/c he knows kyle is right, and he cares more about accolades/profit more than he does actually making any kind of grand social change.

-scause for applause: my favorite example, i think. again, stan’s refusal to take off the bracelet starts as something personal to him and very, very quickly transforms into a selfish movement about himself, ‘stanground’, b/c he loves the positive affirmation he receives as a result. craig then accuses him of having lied, and stan berates him in front of everyone in a really acerbic manner and only fuels the fire that eventually brings him down. when everyone hates stan after finding out he actually did cut off his bracelet, kyle tries to nudge stan in the right direction by urging him to tell the truth, but stan only doubles down and tries to get everyone on his side again w a convoluted scheme to make it seem as if the whole thing was intentional. when this blows up in his face, again, kyle -- without judgement -- confronts him about having asked heidi to borrow superglue the week before. stan scoffs and i think he says something like “you’re still on that, dude?” and of course kyle is! why wouldn’t he be! he doesn’t want to see his friend dig himself any further a hole than he already has.

-bass to mouth: everyone participates in the wikileaks gossip site at school but kyle; he’s the only one who has an outright problem with such an invasion of privacy, and stan tries to get him to lighten up. kyle remarks that it wouldn’t be funny if something about stan were written on there; stan responds flippantly that there isn’t, only for something about him to show up shortly after. cue stan leading the charge to find out who the site-runner is only for kyle to remind him during the meeting that, okay, now that it happened to you, it isn’t funny, right?

not necessarily in the same vein of selfishness, ‘two days before the day after tomorrow’ is another great example of kyle wanting stan to do the right thing. after they destroy the dam, cartman and stan agree not to tell anyone, but when stan is confronted by the destruction his actions have caused with the people of beaverton being trapped in their flooded homes, he feels immensely remorseful. cartman sternly demands that he not tell kyle b/c kyle will obviously try to get him to confess to what they did. stan ends up telling kyle anyway to the exact result, advising him to let everyone know he’s responsible so the people stranded can receive actual help. cartman becomes irate when he realizes kyle knows, but instead of following his advice, stan tries to do the right thing in a roundabout way: rescue the people himself so he can “do the right thing, but still lie about it.” this doesn’t work and only serves to put the boys themselves in grave danger, and kyle pleads for stan to own up to what he did if for their sake only. he calls randy and comes so close to following through only to decide against it, to which kyle is visibly angry and upset with him. by the time stan does come around to telling the truth it’s too late -- everyone thinks he’s speaking metaphorically about breaking the dam instead of literally which leaves him frustrated.

there’s more examples of this, but kyle very frequently is the first one who tries to intervene when stan gets himself in more trouble than he can handle by trying to guide him toward what’s honest and what’s right. stan is often described as the everyman or the straight man of the group, and for the most part i agree with this -- stan himself is a very average kid. but i think it helps to also look at his family dynamic; he has no siblings he can really rely on as shelly is far too volatile, and though she’s shown some moments of genuine concern and care for stan (that i love and wish there was more of!) she generally holds stan with disdain and irritation. sharon is shown to love and care deeply for stan’s well-being but is also largely unaware of the extent of his problems as her hands are usually tied up elsewhere (and doesn’t receive enough one-on-one interaction with stan for me to really comment on how well she handles those problems). randy is a fucking mess and speaking as someone w a parent who was a functioning alcoholic as randy is, i can attest to how fragile and chaotic a relationship like that can be. randy is certainly no role model of decency. i mean, christ, there’s an entire episode based around the concept of randy teaching stan how to lie effectively wherein which he demonstrates ‘tells’ for stan only to exhibit them when he tells stan he loves him. obviously this is played as a joke, but stan notices this and is rightly upset. randy, as a parent and a person, is incredibly selfish, has no sense of boundaries, acts in his own self-interest, and treats stan like a friend instead of son -- not a very good friend at that. not that randy has absolutely no redeeming qualities, but they’re few and far between, and the rare occasion we see him genuinely try to help or bond with stan usually ends up in another wacky misadventure. my point being, stan doesn’t have a very strong support system within his home and thus has to rely entirely on his own will to guide himself.

kyle is one of very few who is really ever shown to expect better of stan, to want him to be better than he is, to want him to be better for the simple fact that he should want it for himself as well -- not so he can get anything out of it.

that was what i mean by kyle being a moral guide for stan and helping keep him grounded. sorry this became so long, but i hope this answered your question!

#south park #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #Anonymous

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brokenwinchesterr · 7 years

Text

Some Things Never Change- Seth Rollins x Reader

This is my piece for @fan-fiction-galore and @thewriterformerlytaggedas 31 Little Wrestling Fics writing challenge. I’m not gonna lie. There was a few times I thought about dropping out because I had homecoming this week and tbh it kicked my ass. I had one day last week when I came home from planning where I just cried. It was such a cluster fuck and the people who were helping plan the dance we were doing weren't doing their part. I ended up doing most of it and I paid for most of the shit anyway. Regardless I made it through and I'm pretty proud of this. I also edited it but I'm not sure how good I've done so please let me know if something is fucked up and ill fix it!

I hope you all enjoy and please leave me feedback! I know deep down this isn't my best work but I really enjoyed writing it and I think it turned out pretty good.

Pairing: Seth Rollins x Reader, if you squint really hard Bayley x Corey Word Count: 4,448 (this is a lot more than planned) Warnings: Language, bullying I guess ( Corey is a real asshole) A/N: okay THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT. So as mentioned above Corey really is an asshole. I wrote him like that because in real life I hate him. I have never hated anyone like I hate him. Now I'm not trying to force you all to hate him and I’m not trying to say fuck you if you like Corey. I’m trying to avoid issues of people who like Corey by warning y'all.

IF YOU LIKE COREY AND DONT WANT TO SEE HIM GET KINDA SHIT ON DONT READ THIS!!

I’ve warned you all.

The life of an athlete was a though one. Constantly traveling and putting their lives on the line could be stressful. Being a professional wrestler was seemingly more taxing than any other athletic job because it's not just being an athlete it's being an actor. That meant that days off were rare. Days off when everyone could just hang out and have fun together as themselves were rare. That's how they all got themselves into this mess. They were in the town of Appleton; a place in Wisconsin, exploring some ruins of a house which is supposed to be haunted. That's according to some locals anyway. They had been sitting in silence until Sami spoke up.

" Whose idea was this anyway?" Sami asked. Seth immediately pointed at Y/N who had her head buried in her phone. She was trying to find the exact location of the house which was not an easy task.

" Literally everything about this is illegal!" Sami exclaimed, concern written all over his features.

" You're completely right, Sami, but it's the season of halloween and we have to be spoopy.'' Y/N responded looking up at him.

" Spoopy?" Bray asked, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror. Y/N nodded. He just raised his eyebrows in response, and shook his head, before turning his focus back to the road. They had somehow managed to coerce him to driving; Sami sat in the passenger seat (though with a lot of protest. He always claimed Bray freaked him out) with Seth directly behind him, and Y/N to his left. Behind Y/N was Bayley, who felt the need to continuously play with her hair. She claimed it was 'as soft as a baby's butt.' To Bayley's right was Corey Graves, a long time friend of Seth's.

They had been on the road for quite a while until it was becoming clear that the long drive was getting to everyone. By everyone, mostly Y/N and Corey. Tensions were at an all time high between the two who were, for some random reason, arguing about the show Supernatural; something Corey had never even seen before. So of course, Y/N being the die-hard fan she is began to get irritated because ,'' who was this idiot to say it's shit when he's never seen it before.''

" You know a show is shit when the bump it for another show.'' He shot back, talking about when the twelfth season of Supernatural got bumped for the first season Riverdale.

She took a breath, ready to destroy his claim, but she paused, and instead said," Y'know what Corey? I'm not gonna argue with you. I'm just gonna let you keep blowing smoke out of your ass because it's what you do best.'' You could hear in her voice that she was tired of the constant issues from Corey. She looked over to Seth, giving him a look that said,' I told you he was going to be a problem.' Bayley suggested they play the quiet game, and for the rest of the ride, they sat in silence.

Once they got into town, Y/N suggested that they should pull over because she still had to find the actual address of the house. She decided to call an old friend to see if he knew where it was located. Scary things and adventuring were his specialties.

"Hello?" Spoke a gruff voice through the phone.

"Elton! Hey I'm so glad you answered," Y/N responded," I have a huge favor to ask you."

" Sure what's up?"

" So I managed to drag some friends to that place in Wisconsin that I was telling you about. We made it to the town, but now I'm not sure exactly where to go and I was wondering if you remembered where the actual house was?"

" Oh, um yeah, give me a sec to grab my computer."

There was a short pause, some rustling, then some barking, which Y/N assumed was from Circa, Elton's dog, and then he was back on the receiver with a," Sorry. It was buried under a bunch of new shirts."

Elton owned a clothing brand and he was currently in the process of creating new products. It was something he'd been working on for a long time.

" You'll have to tell me all about the shirts another time, but right now I really need to know where the house is."

" Alright. So, when you first pull into town, your gonna want to take an immediate left. It's not gonna look like it's a road, but I promise you, it's there. Then the road is gonna continue for a few miles and then it'll come to a 'T'. Go right. Follow the road and you'll see the house. It's fenced off and it's a little bit of a hike to get to it, but honestly it's not that bad. I'm not sure how you're gonna get through the fence but I'm sure you'll figure it out."

" Awesome! Thank you so much Elton! I don't know what I'd do with out you.'' Y/N spoke a smile beginning to grace her features. She truly loved and appreciated her friends.

" You'd probably die.'' he responded with a chuckle.

" True. True.''

"Be safe, and I'll see you soon, yeah?"

" Of course.'' Y/N answered as she hung up the phone. A lunch meet up was already in her schedule.

" So what's the deal.'' Seth asked.

Y/N let out a breath," He said it's an immediate left on a road that doesn't look like a road but is actually a road. I'm assuming it's back the way we came just 'cause we've already been driving for quite a while.''

" There was a little opening between some trees not to long ago.'' Bayley spoke up.

" Then that's probably it! Great, now let's get back on the road.'' Sami said jumping into the conversation, while motioning at the car. Everyone loaded up and they began the shortish drive to the house.

Surprisingly they had made it without very many problems. The only thing was Corey’s constant talking, but when is it not a problem for Y/N.

" It looks more like ruins of a house than an actual house. I was expecting this huge thing.'' Seth said, motioning with his hands, leaning against the car door he just closed.

" Well appearances don't always matter.'' Y/N replied to him, poking his chest to punctuate each word.

" Are you trying to call me ugly with out actually saying it?" He responded pulling her in for a hug.

" Why would I do that?'' Y/N looked up at him.

" You never know.'' A small smile appeared. He leaned down and just as his lips were about to meet Y/N's, they heard Corey's voice." Alright lovebirds if we're gonna do this I'd rather it not be dark, so can we hurry it up?"

Y/N let out a screeching noise and looked to Corey,'' No one gives a fuck. Literally. We got here like, five seconds ago. Plus, we have no idea how we're gonna get through this fence yet.''

" We could probably hop it to be honest.''Seth said, running his hands up and down Y/N's sides.

" Um, I don't know Seth. Some of us are kind of short.'' Bayley said, speaking of herself and Y/N.

" We'll help.'' Sami responded.

Seth was the first one over, with Y/N passing the ouija board through the slit where the fence panels connected. Sami had a backpack that he through over next, and looked to one of the girls.

" Who's going next?"

They looked to each other and the fence. It was pretty damn high.

" Hey, both of you look at me.'' Seth spoke through the fence, sensing the fear. '' Its just like climbing a steel cage. You can do it.''

" I'll go.'' Bayley said after a few moments of silence. She looked as nervous as she was for her Mania match. Sami stood at the fence ready to boost her while the other three stood back to catch her incase she fell. When she reached the top it didn't take her long to drop onto the ground of the other side of the fence.

" Wow. I don't know if I'll be able to handle a real ghost if I can't handle this.'' She added, wiping the sweat from her hands. Sami pulled himself up and over next, leaving Y/N, Bray, and Corey on the other side.

" Your turn.'' Corey said, ready to boost her.

" Fuck you.'' She responded as she put her foot in his hands as a rest. Once she had almost steadied herself at the top, she felt Corey's grip on her leg release, and had she not had a good center of gravity she would have toppled to the ground. Instead she had managed to shift herself so she fell towards the other three in the group.

" Fuck.'' She spoke, feeling Seth's arms steady her on her feet.

" Corey what the hell?" Seth asked.

" I-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened.''

" He nearly passed out.'' Bray said finally.

" Why though?"

" I'm not to sure."

"Let's just.. get everyone on the same side of the fence please.'' Bayley said turning to face the house on the hill, as the other two men made their way over.

The outside of the house wasn't very bad. Of course, it was run down, the paint was peeling, and most of the grass and brush were dead, but it was two stories plus an attic, had a decent sized yard, and was probably the talk of the town before it was haunted and abandoned. To Y/N, all the caution tape and signs were no big deal, just a part of exploring, but of course, Corey couldn't keep his mouth shut. He went on a whole rant about how they could get arrested for this and how lucky she was that he didn't call their boss and complain that she was doing illegal stuff. Once they had managed to make it to the door Y/N sprawled out on the steps and groaned.

" This is my life now," Y/N started, speaking in a melodramatic manor, " I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it."

" C'mon you're fine.'' Seth responded pulling her up into him and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He had been keeping her close ever since the incident at the fence.

'' We were only hiking for like twenty minutes.'' Sami said questioningly, shaking his head.

" Do we really want to do this?" Bayley asked. She was the only other female on the roster willing to come with them to the supposed 'haunted' ruins. They were going to bring Dean as well but with some last minute plans with Renee they 'settled with Corey' as Y/N would put it. Everyone else was too scared.

" We'll be fine, they don't seem to angry.'' Bray spoke, stoically. Bayley and Y/N locked eyes, sharing a worried glance.

" Good to know buddy,'' Seth said patting Bray on the shoulder and walking to the door. Corey remained at the bottom of the steps. Before Seth could even reach to open the door they began to hear noises coming from inside the house.

" God damn it, why are we doing this!'' Corey finally snapped,'' and why the hell did you bring a Ouija board, you know how I feel about that shit!" he said motioning to Y/N, who held it in her hands. Him and Y/N didn't get along to well, that was for sure established, if she was with Seth and Seth and Corey were friends then that made her and Corey friends, kind of. They shared a mutual hatred that Everyone knew about and that was how their relationship worked. Hell even people who didn't know them knew it. The vibes they had when they were around each other were absolutely toxic. Couldn't they keep their feelings at bay for one night?

" Because it's Halloween time, stupid.'' She replied as if it were obvious, " we're at a haunted house, and it's gonna get dark eventually. Why else would I have it?''

" The house is not haunted.''

''Bet.'' Y/N began.

" Alright, Alright, enough you two.'' Seth spoke locking eyes with the woman he called his girlfriend. She shook her head mumbling a whatever and pushing past him reaching to open the door.

" I wouldn't do that just yet,'' Sami spoke hurriedly, before Y/N could open the door, " I agree with Bayley. Are we really sure we want to do this?''

" I'm 100 percent sure. I don't know about y'all but I'm going in. We just did all that hiking and not to mention the fucking fence.'' Y/N said forcing her way around Sami and into the house.

" I don't want to leave her here a lone.'' Seth answered, shrugging. Bray said nothing and walked in behind Seth.

" I want to see if this house is really haunted.'' Corey responded, following closely behind the other two men.

" I'm with you on this one Sami but these are our friends.. Do we really want to leave them here alone so the could possibly get hurt?'' Bayley asked walking up the steps and standing next to Sami.

Sami just shook his head and said," C'mon.''

The inside of the house was dirty to say the least. When you walked in, immediately to the left was a flight of stairs, to the right of that was a door, probably to the basement, and a broken-looking table. There was definitely a lot of random clutter in the house before it became abandoned. To the direct right, was what seemed like the living room, and when you walked into it and went left, the kitchen was attached at the other side of the room.

Everyone was mostly looking around the living room. There were a lot of pictures considering how long it had been abandoned. Y/N had decided that she wanted to go explore the upstairs floor. When you walk up the stairs it runs directly into a corridor with quite a dew doors on each side. She was assuming that the people who built this house either had a very large family or they had a lot of stuff. She noticed there were quite a few pictures on the walls here too. They were all of the same man. He was always wearing a party hat and had some other person or pet in the photo with him. Just as she was about to enter the first room she heard her name being called from downstairs.

" They're ready to play the ouija board." Seth said to her.

" Alright then.'' She said plopping onto the ground in the middle of the living room.

They all filled in the circle around her,watching as Bray set the planchette on 'G'.

" If you don't want to play or don't believe, leave the circle.'' He spoke solemnly.

Corey stood up leaving Bray, Seth, Bayley, and Y/N sitting in a weird-square formation.

" Be careful when asking the questions. If you're joking or don't want to know the answer don't ask it,'' Y/N added,'' follow my lead to start.''

Everyone placed two fingers on the planchette and Y/N said,'' Ouija, we are here,'' while moving the planchette in three circles.

" Okay. It's ready.''

" Who wants to ask the first question?'' Seth asked looking around the group.

" I'll go,'' Bayley spoke. Y/N looked at her bewildered. '' If I'm gonna do it, might as well go all in.'' She finished shrugging. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing mind and heart.

" Are there any spirits here that would like to talk to us?” Bayley asked, a small quiver to her voice.

They sat for a few seconds, waiting for something to happen. Just as Y/N was about to say something she felt a movement under her fingers and she shut her eyes, afraid to look down. Was this really happening? When she opened her eyes the planchette rested on 'yes'.

" Fuck,'' Seth whispered in a faulty voice,'' I don't want to do this anymore.'' He took his fingers off the planchette.

" No! You're not supposed to do that!" Y/N screamed, nearly removing her fingers as well.

'' Why? What's gonna happen? I can't just put them back on?'' He asked, fear evident in his features. Y/N could tell he was trying to mask it, but she knew him all to well.

" It don't work like that.'' Bray responded.

" Well, why the hell not?" Seth asked. Y/N was about to respond when a groan sounded from somewhere around the house.

" Old houses make noises. It's normal,'' Y/N said. Another groan was heard,".... right?''

" Of course they do.'' Corey said. But it wasn't in a sarcastic or rude way. That gave a little shock to everyone. It’s crazy what fear does to a person.

" Am I gonna die now or something?'' Seth asked.

" No, you should be fine. I'm not entirely sure though.'' Bray responded.

" Let's just ask another question.'' Bayley said quickly.

" When did you die?'' Y/N asked, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air. It was thick like butter. The planchette remained still, and then flung itself off the board and into the wall

" It didn't like that question.'' Seth exclaimed.

The front door which they left open was slammed shut, causing many photos to fall of their places on the wall. Everyone looked around waiting to see what would happen next. Crashes could be heard from the kitchen where leftover dishes and cutlery were crashing to the ground.

" Upstairs!'' Bray shouted, grabbing the Ouija board and throwing it at the wall. The group watched as it broke to pieces." Go!"

Everyone bounded up the stairs and Sami had made a hard right into the first room. Everyone stood, trying to catch their breath.

Seth opened his mouth to speak but the only thing that was heard was the sound of the door slamming.

The next thing Y/N knew, she was being thrown into a wall; the force of the collision had her seeing stars. She heard the fearful screams of Bayley as other object got thrown around the room. She had heard that playing the ouija board wrong angered spirits, but to this extent? It was a little much. What had they done wrong? Corey was the only one who didn't want to play and he didn't. The weren't being intentionally disrespectful and even though Bray was pretty weird when it came to demonic stuff she believed him when he had said that they weren't too angry. Why was he wrong? By the time she had regained her bearings, things had calmed down. Bayley wasn't screaming but she was sitting in a corner, letting the sobs overtake her and Corey had wandered over to her to try to calm her down. You could still hear objects being thrown around the rest of the house as different doors continued to slam. Sami looked as if he might have started crying. Y/N was looking around the room and noticed immediately that things were wrong. Bray was lying in the center of the room in a heap. Y/N also noticed that Seth was no where to be seen.

' He's probably in a different room.' She though, more like hoped, to herself as she raced over to Bray's side.

The last thing she needed was to have to explain that she got him killed because they went to a literal haunted house. She had noticed that Bray had blood running down from his nose. The moment she placed her hand on his chest to feel for a beat, his eyes shot open and he looked around, frantically, as if he were expecting more damage than that had actually been done. He knew one thing for sure. They had to get out of that house. She helped pull him to his feet and ran to the door. It was closed. In her head she was praying it wasn't locked. What would they even do if it was? No one would be around to hear them scream, let alone to save them. She breathed a huge sigh of relief when the knob turned. She looked behind her to see everyone up and ready to follow her next move. Bayley was clearly leaning on Corey, while Bray stood on his own, leaning his weight to one side of his body. Sami stood in the back ready for whatever may come, with his arms wrapped around himself.

What had Y/N gotten herself and her friends into? She was about to cry herself when the checked every room on the second floor and saw no sign of Seth. Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same, except for one thing. The door that lead to what they thought was the basement was closed. Sami and Corey had gone to check the other side of the first floor, after leaving Bray and Bayley sitting on the floor of the living room. Y/N remained in front of the basement door. She knew deep down that they were going to have to go in there. There was no other option. To her, it didn't matter what the others thought. If they wanted to leave they could. She was not about to leave a man who she had spent the better part of a year with. He wouldn't leave her.

Soon Y/N felt the presence of the guys behind her.

" We need to leave, now. Let's just go down there, not let our fear get to us, and grab Seth.'' Corey said.

" What if he isn't down there?'' Sami asked.

" Are you fucking ser-" Y/N started.

" No I don't mean it like that. I just mean what if he actually isn't down there.''

Y/N was at a loss for words. She didn't want to think is he wasn't down there. He had to be.

" We'll cross that bridge if we get to it.'' Corey spoke reaching to open the door. He took a breath and swung the flat of wood in. It was dark, and seemingly cold; way colder than the rest of the house. Y/N had never appreciated Corey more.

" We got this.'' Sami said pulling a flashlight out of his bag. Corey grabbed the flashlight from him and took the lead. As the trio descended down the steps Y/N automatically had an uneasy feeling. She was ready to go home and curl in a ball.

The basement was full to the brim. There were shelves upon shelves of survival stuff. MRI'S, medkits, canned food, jugs of water. What the hell was this? One thing in particular Y/N noticed was a random door in the wall. Corey and Sami had checked everything during the time she was looking around. This guy must have been a real doomsday prepper.

" Nothing.'' Corey said, looking at her with an underlying sadness. This was his best friend. Y/N motioned to the door she had just been staring at.

" That's the only place we haven't checked."

" Then let's get to it.'' Corey responded, reaching for the door. Sami grabbed a steel bar from one of the shelves. Y/N looked at him.

" What? Just in case.''

'' What are you going to do beat the ghost to death?"

" Maybe.''

Corey shook his head heaving the heavy metal door open. Y/N peaked her head in and let out a gasp. Seth was in a chair with a party hat strapped to his head. Just as she was about to step in, a man appeared. He was wearing a party hat just like Seth's. Y/N recognized him to be the man from all the pictures from upstairs.

" Want to join the party?" The thing spoke. Y/N nearly let out a scream before she felt some one pull her by the back of her shirt. She looked to Corey who had pulled her out of the doorway and away from the ghost. Sami had decided to chuck the steel bar and it 'hit' the ghost. The bar clattered to the ground. It faltered for a second and disappeared.

" I can't believe that actually worked!'' Sami exclaimed as Corey pat him on the back. Y/N ran over to the chair where Seth was beginning to stir. He groaned and opened his eyes looking at her.

" Hey. Oh my god. Hi.'' Y/N started babbling. " I thought you were gone.''

" No. I'm okay.'' He responded, letting out a groan, sitting up in the chair.

" We should go.'' Sami suggested.'' I don't know how long that ghost is gonna be gone for.'' He picked up the steel bar. Just in case. Y/N helped Seth rise to his feet and he placed his arm around her shoulder. They made their way up the stairs in silence, and as soon as Bayley caught sight of them she was up and asking a bunch of questions.

" Can we do this in the car? I wanna get out of here.'' Seth said as his grip tightened on Y/N.

" Oh yeah, of course. Sorry.'' Bayley replied. She pulled Bray up with her and then they set out to leave.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief as Sami swung the front door open. She clung to Seth like she hadn't seen him in years, afraid he'd get taken from her again. Maybe actual haunted places were a no go. She was glad that at least everyone was a little closer than before.

Once they had made it back over the fence and into the car, everyone paused and took a breath.

" That was the fucking worst idea ever.'' Corey griped.

" I know, and I'm sorry. Looking back on it, I probably should've picked a fake haunted place.'' Y/N responded. Sami started the car and let out a little laugh.

" Now this is something I thought I'd never see. Y/N and Corey getting along. Sort of.''

" Ha Ha. Fantastic. Relish in it somewhere far away from here." Bray spoke up from the back.

" Okay, Okay I'm going.'' Sami said.

" What if we went to fright fest at six flags?" Y/N asked.

" NO!”

#31 little wrestling fics #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins #bray wyatt #Sami zayn #Corey graves #bayley #seth rollins x reader #wwe #wwe imagine #brokenwinchesterr #bucksvseverybody #literally this was harder than it should have been #homecoming kicked my ass #fml

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oumakokichi · 7 years

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From what I understand, Monodam seems to be the most popular of the Monokumarz. If my memory serves me right you also noted how Monodam was your favorite mascot character or something similiar. I've heard he goes through some sort of character development over V3, is it possible for you to explain how he changes over the course of the game?

Haha, I don’t know if I’d call it “character development”exactly but it’s true that Monodam has the most likable personality out of allthe Monokumerz. It’s hard to say that it’s an actual arc of development whenthe entire point of them as a group is to basically lampshade the “Poochie”trope and act out the part of extra, unnecessary mascots for the sake of “boostingthe ratings,” but Monodam is still… entertaining, to say the least.

The game opens with all four of the other Monokumerz gettingalong relatively well, and only Monodam being on the outskirts of things.Monotarou describes him as someone who “has become quiet and withdrawn becauseof bullying, and who will only talk to the people he’s opened up his heart to.”There’s then a hilarious scene where he goes “Right, Monodam?” and Monodamdoesn’t respond, and the joke is that Monodam hasn’t opened up to any of hissiblings at all because they’re the ones who’ve been bullying him in the firstplace.

The subplot with the Monokumerz really kicks off at the endof Chapter 1. Right at the end of Kaede’s execution, Monodam suddenly pushesMonokid, the worst of his bullies, into the piano as the lid closes, killinghim in front of everyone. The rest of his siblings are horrified and extremelynervous around him, but at the start of Chapter 2 Monodam explains that hewants the rest of them to all be friends and get along. Monotarou and Monofunnyare hesitant but interested in his claim; Monosuke, meanwhile, tells them notto let their guards down and not to forget what he did to Monokid.

But as time progresses and Monodam continues to express hiswish to be friends with the rest of them, Monotarou and Monofunny admit thatthey didn’t like Monokid very much either, because he was loud and obnoxious(and usually drunk). They start warming up to Monodam, and in the processMonosuke starts getting a lot louder and angrier about his distrust forMonodam. Monotarou and Monofunny get cross with him as a result, but Monodamactually sticks up for him, telling them “not to bully” Monosuke and offeringto be friends with him as well—an offer which Monosuke repeteadly andemphatically rejects.

The footing between Monosuke and Monodam is really rocky bythe end of Chapter 2 as a result, so when the opportunity presents itself,Monodam throws Monosuke into the execution again, getting him killed beneathKirumi’s falling corpse. Monotarou and Monofunny are really horrified this timearound, but Monodam swears he only did it because Monosuke was being a bully.As long as they’re “friendly” with each other, they all have nothing to worryabout.

At the beginning of Chapter 3, Monodam really takes centerstage as the most memorable mascot because he quite literally hijacks thekilling game not only from his siblings but from Monokuma himself. Granted,this entire development is scripted, and obviously just an extra subplot to “makethe killing game more exciting,” so it’s not like the Monokumerz ever really doanything of their own volition. But still, even if it’s all scripted and fake,it’s a really fun development.

The Monokumerz are the only ones capable of operating theExisals. Monokuma himself can’t operate them—so Monodam pretty much saysflat-out that they don’t feel like doing whatever Monokuma wants them to doanymore and that he has no way of forcing them to. He threatens Monokuma withthe Exisals and says that the killing game is now a “friendship game,” not forthe kids of course but for himself and his siblings. Monokuma goes into a stateof catatonic shock and gets bald patches all over his fur (and stays like thatfor probably ¾ths of the chapter), and meanwhile Monodam, Monotarou, andMonofunny all go off to enjoy themselves and their newfound “friendship game.”

Of course, Monotarou and Monofunny don’t really get a say inthe matter either. Anyone who isn’t interested in “being friends” will beperceived as a bully at this point and threatened on sight. So, of course, theydon’t argue with Monodam. Monodam’s transition from quiet and unresponsive bearwho seems like the weakest link in the group to this sort of hilariouslyterrifying enforcer of friendship is great,and honestly probably the most enjoyable development that ever happened withthe Monokumerz (though Monotarou and Monofunny do have a few great moments inChapter 4 too).

However, after thedouble murder occurs in Chapter 3, Korekiyo asks what happens if there are twomurders by two separate culprits, and Monodam has absolutely no idea how torespond or handle the situation. His inability to respond to an unforeseenproblem causes Monotarou and Monofunny to immediately go ask for Monokuma’shelp, and from that point on they start ignoring Monodam pretty blatantly.Monokuma welcomes them back with open arms, Monodam is pretty obviously shakenup about this, and even when he tries talking to them directly in theinvestigation or the trial after that, they don’t even bother giving him aresponse.

It’s pretty hard not to feel sorry for him after that. Hegets progressively quieter and quieter during the trial, until eventually he’sno longer even saying “Let’s all be friends,” but is completely silent wheneverMonotarou and Monofunny are talking to each other. And when the execution rollsaround this time around, rather than continuing his reign of terror and killingeither of his remaining siblings, he runs directly into the flames for Korekiyo’sexecution and kills himself instead. He was so honestly enjoyable in the firstthree chapters that it’s really hard not to feel sad about this, since he wasthe main driving force behind all the side-developments with the Monokumerz asa whole.

Of course, at the end of the Chapter 5 trial, Monodam andall the other Monokumerz are brought back to life by Monokuma. He clarifiesthat they’re not the same Monokumerz as before, but “all-new Monokumerz” whodon’t have any of their memories and haven’t lived the same experiences as theMonokumerz who were killed before (which is beautiful foreshadowing for the waythe killing game itself works). The Monokumerz take much more of a backseatrole in Chapter 6, since it’s clear that the ringleader didn’t originally planon bringing them back but only did so in order to use the Exisals to intimidateand coerce the rest of the characters into going along with the killing game.

In the Chapter 6 trial, they’re pretty much only there to becannon fodder for Monokuma to kill off quickly. The fact that they’ve overstayedtheir welcome and “aren’t interesting or funny anymore” is blatantlylampshaded. Monokid gets killed again only a few minutes into the debate,Monodam is tragic all over again because he’s killed next despite being theonly one in the group who was actually doing anything useful or responding toSaihara’s questions, and then Monosuke gets killed off too.

When Monofunny and Monotarou are once again the last twoMonokumerz left alive, they try pleading with Monokuma repeatedly to sparethem, to which he replies, “Ah, just shut up, we’re getting to the best part!No one even cares what you have to say anyway!” Which is… well, again, it’spretty much just the “Poochie” trope of how mascot characters are often throwninto shows and media in a cheap attempt to rope people in or hook them on a newseason. So it illustrates pretty directly that the Monokumerz don’t really haveany actual arcs of character development but are mostly there to be used asplot devices and follow along a pre-written script for entertainment value.

Regardless of that though, Monodam really is the mostenjoyable one out of the bunch. Monokid is barely present in the narrative,makes crude and gross comments where he is, and exists to be awful and dislikedby his other siblings. Monosuke is obnoxiously outspoken about distrustingMonodam and turns down all his offers of getting along (and having to translatehis Kansai-ben is an added pain in my ass). Monotarou and Monofunny have somepretty good moments but there’s also some really uncomfortable jokes in Chapter4 (Monotarou loses his memories and suddenly thinks he’s Monofunny’s abusive husbandinstead of her brother).

Monodam is so well-liked at this point that I’ve seen quitea few Japanese artists ranking him higher on their personal preference listthan Monokuma, even. So it’s kind of amusing to me that even though theMonokumerz are there to be intentionally annoying and irritating, there arestill things about them that are genuinely enjoyable. I hope I could answeryour question, anon!

#ndrv3 #monodam #monokumerz #monokumarz #the monokuma cubz #ndrv3 spoilers //#my meta #okay to reblog #'monodam is best bear' is a sentiment i'm glad we can all agree on #anonymous

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skypalacearchitect · 7 years

Text

at the risk in getting caught up in the Discourse(TM): my thoughts on those snape vs. draco posts

Okay, look, here’s the thing.

Do I agree that a grown man bullying children is worse than a child bullying their peers?? Yes.

Do I agree that how Rowling tried to cast Snape as a hero was kind of a mess? Yes.

But simply saying, “How can rowling say that draco isnt redeemable but snape is/ draco was a child who was looking out for his family and snape was a grown man” is... reductive?

Okay, being completely honest:

My personal thoughts? I do think that Draco was redeemable. I do think that Rowling didn’t condemn Snape enough. and in a vacuum, yes, I would be fine with saying, ‘I wish that Draco was explored more and had more of a redemptive arc.’

But within the context of the fandom??

Where I see stans trying to ignore the fact that for years Draco was perfectly happy to shout racial slurs and bullied relentlessly for years??? Or act like Draco was coerced/forced into becoming a death eater/Lucius ‘made’ him become a death eater, when Lucius was actually in jail at the time (and Narcissa actively didn’t want him to be a death eater), and Draco was actually bragging about being a Death Eater first and only later changed his mind and didn’t want to do it anymore but was too scared to leave??

Or people who act like Draco was abused by his family when there is no canon evidence to suggest that he was anything other than spoiled and pampered by them (all the while that many in fandom sh*t on characters who actually are canon abuse survivors for their reactions/behavior to/caused by abuse, like Harry or Sirius? Sidenote: “He was raised that way [being a pureblood supremacist] by his family” isn’t an excuse. Sirius and Andromeda are proof of that)??

Or when people act like Harry and Ron’s prejudice against Slytherins (one that, remember, is at least partially fueled by personal experience with violently purist Slytherins) is comparable to Draco’s belief that muggleborns were inherently inferior and, at the very least, was fine with them dying?*

or fanfics that act like that anyone in the trio needs to apologize for how they treated Draco? or drarry fics that write about Harry and Draco having a secret relationship in school, like Harry would ever date someone who gladly called his best friends racial slurs??**

Yeah, I don’t have time for that.

So, yeah, fandom has basically ruined any desire of mine to say, “yes, Rowling should have written a redemption arc.”

Reminder: a redemption arc is just that: redeeming themselves. that means the character owning their actions and figuring it out on their own, NOT the other characters saving them.

Also, it means actually apologizing/doing something to make it up. Finally, others aren’t obligated to forgive them, even if they have changed.

So that’s basically my thoughts. In theory, a redemptive arc would be nice, but in practice, considering how you all stan for him already and are erasing his misdeeds and acting like he’s a victim, I’m not sure I would actually want that anymore. Reminder, I am saying this as someone sympathetic to his character, situation, and arc.***

*Yes, you can say that he changed his belief on that later, and that’s true, but don’t deny that he did believe that for years, and gladly bullied over that.

**I don’t want to see any drarry stans coming out and saying I’m attacking their ship. I’m just saying, Harry literally dropped out of school at 17 to fight a fascist government. ~possible~ ~attraction~ or no, he would never put up with that. Even if Harry doesn’t respect himself enough, he at least respects his friends, allies, and the cause he’s fighting for enough to not put up with that.

***And let’s be honest... how many of you are doing this because he’s a white boy (played by Tom Felton), and how many of you would react the same way if he was nonwhite?

#draco malfoy #hp #harry potter #racism #racism in fandom #white supremacy #bullying #abuse #abuse romanticism #snape hate #j.k. rowling #skypalacearchitect #hp fandom #death threats mention

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almightygodismydependence-blog · 5 years

Text

God Didn’t Have the Heart to Let Me Fall Into the Underworld

How a Public Security Bureau Local Station Chief Was Conquered by God’s Words

Zhang Jun, Sichuan Province

Almighty God says: “Look back to the time of Noah’s ark: Mankind was deeply corrupt, had strayed from the blessing of God, was no longer cared for by God, and had lost the promises of God. They lived in darkness, without the light of God. Thus they became licentious by nature, abandoned themselves to hideous depravity. Such men could no longer receive the promise of God; they were unfit to witness the face of God, nor to hear the voice of God, for they had abandoned God, had cast aside all that He had bestowed upon them, and had forgotten the teachings of God. Their heart strayed farther and farther from God, and as it did, they became depraved beyond all reason and humanity, and became increasingly evil. Thus they came ever closer to death, and fell under the wrath and punishment of God. Only Noah worshiped God and shunned evil, and so he was able to hear the voice of God, and hear the instructions of God. He built the ark according to the instructions of God’s word, and assembled all manner of living creatures. And in this way, once everything had been prepared, God unleashed His destruction upon the world. Only Noah and the seven members of his family survived the destruction, for Noah worshiped Jehovah and shunned evil” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). After reading this passage of God’s words I fell into a state of deep contemplation …

My parents are both Christians and I was baptized and made a follower of the Lord Jesus at an early age. At that time, my spirit was always turned toward brightness and goodness. When the Cultural Revolution hit China, my father was sent to a remote place in the mountains for “reform through labor,” and after that we never got any more news about him. My mother was classed as one of the “four bad elements,” and because she was also a Christian she was classed as a “counterrevolutionary.” I wasn’t able to escape the damage done to my family either: By the time I got to school age there wasn’t a school that was willing to accept the son of a “counterrevolutionary,” and when I got to working age there was no work unit that would take me on. It wasn’t until I was 20 years old that I finally got a job. I’d been oppressed for so long, and had eaten a bellyful of pain and suffering, so when I started work I resolved to work as hard as I could and rely only on myself. There were a few times when I had to really pull out all the stops, but eventually I rose from being an ordinary police officer to being a PSB local station chief.

At the time, I secretly congratulated myself on rising up the ranks, and I didn’t for a moment imagine that behind this good fortune there lay a terrifying darkness that was going to swallow me up. It was like a dark, formless pair of hands dragged me down into the depths of sin. To be honest, soon after becoming a police officer I began to feel that we were no different from bandits or thieves. Our job wasn’t to catch criminals or maintain law and order: It was make money on the side. We even secretly directed prostitutes to go and seduce men so that we could arrest them in the act and extort a fine from them. Whenever we arrested someone we would try to extort money from them through lying, cajoling, or swindling. We have countless examples of this kind of behavior, behavior that was rife throughout the police force. Nightclubs, dance halls, etc. all had to discreetly give us a few thousand yuan or more every month in “protection fees,” otherwise we’d make life difficult for them. We were ready to crack down hard on them at any time. The prostitutes who worked in these red light places were all pretty afraid of us and would not only throw themselves at us but would even give us cash. There was one single guy in our station who, under the pretext of being their boyfriend, managed to cheat money and sex from over 100 females. There wasn’t a single police officer that I knew who wasn’t involved with prostitutes and I too became so deeply ensnared in this world that I couldn’t extricate myself even though I wanted to.

As police officers we had many opportunities to make money, and all it ever took to get some cash was a bit of casual trickery. For example, if a construction company or agency wanted to build some houses we would let the local gangsters set up roadblocks by the construction sites. The builders would then naturally call us and we would show up to deceptively resolve the issue by removing the “hooligans.” The construction companies or agencies—who didn’t realize what we were up to—would of course then be very grateful to us and were happily willing to give us some cash every month. But this cash was just pocket money. What we really wanted to achieve by causing trouble for the businessmen was to get batches of free shares in their companies. To this end, we would first conduct some background checks on the boss of the targeted company, and then if he didn’t meet our demands we would make our move. For bosses who liked to womanize, we would send prostitutes to seduce them. Then we’d follow them to the motel or wherever to catch them in the act and then coerce them. For bosses who liked to gamble, we would make them pay big fines. If any of them didn’t cooperate then we would send in the gangsters to force them out of business and out of our territory. Ordinary citizens would often say things like “The cops and the robbers are just one big family” or “The cops and the gangsters are as close as fish and water” and what they say is right. When I first started doing these evil deeds I always felt uneasy at the thought of making dirty money through unjust means. But every time my colleagues roped me into it I felt powerless to refuse, and after a few years I felt that I didn’t have the slightest bit of remorse left in me. I was stuck in a dark hole and had no way to pull myself out, but I didn’t care as long as there was money to be made. It particularly pains me to remember the times when we forced ordinary citizens out of their homes so that they could be knocked down for redevelopment projects. Those cases were rotten to the core with deceit, fraud, and all manner of evil. Officials from the Land and Resources Bureau and local demolition units would join forces to cheat and bully local residents solely in order to make money. For example, land developers would count the number of houses in the area that they wanted to redevelop and then would give the local government an estimate of how much they could compensate local residents for demolishing their houses and relocating them. If the compensation was 1 million yuan per house, local government officials would work with the PSB officers to coerce the residents to accept the least compensation and then share out the greatest difference between themselves. Generally speaking, in such cases the local government would want to protect its image, and so wouldn’t deal with the residents face-to-face but would instead let the PSB deal with them. As for those residents who refused to accept the compensation offered to them, the police had a number of different ways of dealing with them. Some of them were forcibly detained. Some residents were given notice to leave, had their houses demolished, and received no compensation whatsoever. Some houses were designated as illegal structures that were not eligible for compensation. Some houses were just demolished immediately with backhoes. Some residents were given a little bit of money; others just received a promise of money but never got it. In short, we used every dirty trick in the book to cheat people out of their cash. I remember one time when we were out drinking with a PSB officer from another county. He boasted to us that they had once demolished a 3-storey house but only compensated the owner for 2 stories by claiming that the upper story was illegal. On demolition day, the owner refused to move out and made a big fuss, so the police called in their gangster friends, who—in front of a crowd of people—took out knives and slashed the owner’s Achilles’ tendons. It was a terrible thing to have to watch and a lot of people in the crowd took photos on their cell phones, phones which were immediately confiscated by the police officers present. Someone in the crowd also started shouting about the injustice being done to the homeowner but was politely invited to the police station for a chat and locked up once they got there. There was even an incident in a rural area where a homeowner refused to cooperate during a demolition and so the construction company boss talked it over with the police and then told the bulldozer driver to run over the homeowner. All the other farmers flew into a rage when they saw one of their neighbors crushed to death, and grabbed the bulldozer driver and started beating him. So the police rounded up the 20-30 farmers at the scene and took them all down to the PSB station. Once inside, the police beat the farmers and locked them up, and injected the particularly intransigent ones with a drug that stimulates the central nervous system. Those injected with this drug showed the same symptoms as someone suffering from concussion: They looked stunned and terrified and didn’t dare to speak. Faced with national law enforcement agencies like these ordinary people had no recourse to justice no matter who they appealed to. For citizens unfortunate enough to come up against the government or the PSB it was like throwing eggs at a rock. In fact, many of the formalities used in land expropriation and demolition cases were illegal. They all relied upon forced occupation of the land, forced demolitions and removals, and in many places out-of-date government policies were used as a pretext to cheat and cajole local residents in order to squeeze as much money out of them as possible. Another method was to expropriate more land than officially sanctioned. For example, the upper level government might give permission for 20 acres to be expropriated to build a bridge and then the local government would use illegal means to take another 40 acres. These 40 acres would then be split between local government officials, police officers, and local gangsters who would all sell the land to developers for huge profits. I even heard of one station chief who was able to make over 10 million yuan from selling a piece of illicitly-gained land!

Having committed these evil deeds that were totally devoid of all humanity (although for some of them I was more of a passive participant), I felt that I had become toxic, cruel, and heartless. The darkness was spreading through my heart and I was turning away from all that was bright and good. My family life went from bad to worse: My wife spent her days playing mahjong—winning or losing thousands of yuan daily and coming home late—no one was looking after the kids, and the housework wasn’t being done. My house was a mess and my relationship with my wife was a mess. We began to hate each other, frequently argued ferociously, and threatened to divorce each other on many occasions. In the end, we just let each other do what we wanted: My wife had her mahjong, I had my womanizing. I began to spend money like it was water, drinking and singing in the bars every night and always accompanied by women. My wife became like a stranger to me and our family life was a shadow of its former self. That was when I began to feel that although I was making loads of money my life was nothing but misery. I was like a zombie, incapable of rational thought and lacking a soul. I was allowing Satan to corrupt my flesh, and was living a cursed life.

But there was one thing that I never forgot, and that was that I was a Christian and that God shouldn’t be offended. About 10 years ago, the CCP issued an important edict that stated, in the main, that all believers in God were to be arrested and detained for 15 days under the offense of “disturbing public order.” In fact, the reason for arresting believers was to get money by fining them, and so we were ordered to only arrest those with money because no one would pay for the keep of poor believers while they were in detention. But every time a Christian was detained I stayed in the background because I knew that this was an offense to God and anyone who offended God would suffer His retribution. I personally saw many of the colleagues who detained and viciously beat other Christians go on to suffer God’s punishment. Some of them died very painful or tragic deaths.

But when faced with these dark forces I was powerless as an individual to resist or make any significant difference. All I could do was to go with the flow. In order to relieve some of the suffering in my spirit I started going to church regularly, but I discovered that the pastors in my church were no longer truly pious believers. In fact, they had all become just more corrupt officials: The chairman of the Committee of Three-Self Patriotic Movement sold off all of the houses belonging to the church and kept most of the money for himself; the head of the Administration for Religious Affairs, Li X, colluded with the chairman of the Committee of Three-Self Patriotic Movement (Wang XX) to use donations from believers as capital for their car dealer business and were dismissed from office after being discovered; the next chairman of the same committee, Hao XX, embezzled church money that was to be used for buying furniture and was also dismissed. Then there was Pastor Zhang, who used a house belonging to the church as collateral to borrow a large amount of money which he used to buy a car for himself and one for the head of the Administration for Religious Affairs. He also had a sexual relationship with a nun, and was eventually sentenced to 3 years in jail. But the head of the Administration for Religious Affairs tried to absolve him of responsibility by telling the churchgoers that “Pastor Zhang has gone to the U.S.A. to study for 3 years.” I saw that the religious community was as filthy as my world and I knew that every one of those fake pastors was eventually punished by God. It made me sick to know what was going on behind the dark curtain in these cases, and it was a shock for me to discover that corruption and darkness were rampant at every level of China’s society. I couldn’t find even a twinkle of light, and so lost all hope and became so depressed that I left the church.

In 2001, some friends from my hometown told me about Almighty God’s work of the last days, but at the time I was wildly arrogant and didn’t give them the respect or attention they deserved. During that period I was often transferred to other places as part of my job, but in every place I went to there was always someone there ready to share Almighty God’s work of the last days with me. However, I always refused to go further with it (which I now know was all part of God’s arrangements) because I simply didn’t believe that God has returned. It was not until 2005 when I learned that many of my mother’s church friends had accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, that I began to have my first perception of the truth when I started to think: “Has God really returned?” Not long after, my wife also accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, and when she shared the gospel with me I decided to read some of the books of God’s words to try and get to the bottom of it all. But at the meetings over the following months my heart was still full of doubts about God. I was also usually very tired from having to work overtime so I often dozed off during the meetings. As a result, even after a few months of meetings I still didn’t understand anything and so I decided to look for an excuse to get away from the church and continue making money.

I was planning to take up a position in Chongqing, and on hearing this one of the brothers urged me: “Whatever you do, don’t leave God. And don’t go chasing after illicit wealth, otherwise however much of it you make from now on you’ll lose it all!” I didn’t believe a word of what he said, and within a few days of arriving in Chongqing I had already made 30,000 yuan. At the same time, a colleague told me about a stolen car that was up for sale for just 28,000 yuan. We decided to catch the thief, but if the car was in good condition we would buy and resell it to make more money. The car was 90% new, and had a book value of over 300,000 yuan, so I decided there and then to buy it. I transferred 28,000 yuan into the bank account that the car thief indicated, but no sooner was the money in his account than he denied selling me the car. He said that I’d robbed him of his car, and even reported me to the police. So we all ended up in the police station, where the car thief received a thorough beating. But he still wouldn’t admit to his crime, and said he wanted to talk to his superior first. He made a call, and shortly after 8 burly, shaven-headed guys arrived at the station with all the documents to prove that the car was a taxi. We had no choice but to let the crook go. Later I came to feel that my illicit gains had indeed been taken away from me by God. I was a bit stunned, and thought: “This really is the true God!” After that incident, whenever I wasn’t working I would go to church gatherings. But I didn’t really have much life entry, as I still preferred to remain adrift in the world of wickedness. There was still no place for God in my heart, but fortunately God had not given up on my salvation.

In the fall, a colleague and I had to go to another place to track down some money that was part of a case we were handling. Even though I still hadn’t started pursuing the truth since believing in Almighty God, I kept myself away from temptations because I knew that promiscuity was one of the vices that God hated most. But my colleague insisted that we go for a massage and I was unable to resist the temptation. After getting our massages, it was still only 2pm and so we decided to go to a motel. My colleague called for 2 female escorts, students, to join us but before we started to do anything my phone rang. It was my wife: “You’ve just had a massage and now you go to a motel. You’re making a mistake and God’s going to punish you!” I was stunned—how could she possibly know? A whole series of doubts and suspicions arose in my mind, making me feel very uneasy. I told my colleague that I believed in God, and that God could see everything so I didn’t dare do anything with the girls. He didn’t believe me and grabbed my cell phone from me, and so was also given a stern warning by my wife. My colleague then said to me repeatedly: “Your God must really be God to be so amazing. That monitoring equipment that we police use only works when there is a tracking device in the suspect’s clothing. But here we are sitting naked in this motel, so it looks like the technology that your God has is far more advanced than what we use.” Later, when I came to make a phone call, I discovered that my phone had somehow called my wife by itself 3 hours before she called me. In other words, the whole time we were in the massage parlor and then the motel my wife was able to listen in on our conversations. But what really puzzled me was that my phone was set to automatically lock whenever I wasn’t using it. Could it have been God who made my phone make that call? I started to feel very uneasy and agreed with my colleague to send the 2 student escorts back. But those 2 girls refused to leave and wouldn’t leave us alone. Suddenly, the right side of my chest began to hurt and my colleague got a terrible ache in his upper forehead. We both felt that this was a bit of an inauspicious omen but we were still unable to resist the seductions of the 2 girls. After they had left, my colleague said: “We’ve got a few more days on the case around here. Why don’t we find a couple of girls to accompany us? I don’t think any harm will come of it.” My head was a muddle, so I just went along with him and he quickly found another 2 girls. Around 6pm the 4 of us hit the road, and while my colleague was driving I fell asleep. Twice I dreamed that the car didn’t have a steering wheel or brakes. Accordingly, my colleague had nearly crashed after setting off and then nearly drove off a cliff a little while later. I was in a state of panic and decided to take over the driving. It was when we were passing through a mountainous area of Guizhou and we came to a hairpin bend (with a big cliff ahead) that I suddenly had the feeling that it was just like the scene in my nightmare and that the car had no steering wheel or brakes. Suddenly there was a beam of light shining down on me and I saw that we were heading straight for the cliff edge. I turned the steering wheel abruptly and crashed the car into a boulder. The impact was violent and I was knocked unconscious. When I slowly regained consciousness I saw that there was a traffic cop sawing through the steering wheel, which had been pressing hard into the right side of my chest pinning me to the seat. When I was fully awake I became aware of the intense pain in the right side of my chest, so agonizing that I thought I was going to die every time I breathed. I lifted my head and saw that my colleague had been thrown from the car and was lying several meters in front of me across a big boulder. He was facing me, and I could see a big gash stretching all the way across his forehead and his face was covered with blood. I thought he was dead, and the whole scene made my flesh creep. I then turned my head and saw the 2 girls weltering in blood on the back seat. They weren’t moving either, and the fact that the cop was trying to save me made me think that they were probably dead, too. When they lifted me onto the stretcher I fell unconscious again, and the next time I came round it was lunchtime the following day. My wife was sitting by my side and I immediately asked her about the other 3. She told me that they were all still alive. I got very emotional and started crying. As I wept, I prayed to God: “Oh thank You, thank You, God! You saved me! If it weren’t for You I’d have died long ago! This is Your way of punishing me, and is also Your love. From now on, I won’t do any of those evil things again. I know I’ve been wrong!” At a later date, I read these words of God’s: “As you do not know how to lead a life or how to live, and you live in this licentious and sinful place and are licentious and filthy devils, He does not have the heart to let you become even more depraved; neither has He the heart to see you living in the filthy place like this, being trampled by Satan at will, or the heart to let you fall into Hades. He only wants to gain this group of you and thoroughly save you. This is the main purpose of doing the conquering work on you—it is just for salvation” (“The Inside Truth of the Conquering Work (4)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words helped me to understand His intentions: Although the traffic accident at first sight appeared to be bad, it was clear that hidden in it was a big effort by God to save me. God had employed a very unusual method to save me from the brink of destruction and get me away from Satan’s probing, so that I could gain God’s care and protection. I could really feel the essence of God’s love and this was the event that made me be certain about God.

As time went by I began to learn more about God’s righteous disposition. In the past I had made a lot of money illicitly, which had provided me with a luxurious lifestyle and many material pleasures. But I had committed so many sins and crimes that I was living in a permanent state of anxiety and met one misfortune after another, either trouble at home or a variety of accidents and mishaps. I was virtually in a state of panic every day, and I knew that most of my colleagues were also prone to a variety of misfortunes. Around this time I read these words of God’s: “The Wicked Must Be Punished,” and that’s when I understood that God’s disposition cannot be offended by any man or woman. If we do something bad we will suffer retribution for it! From then on, I decided that I wouldn’t do anything that went against my conscience and I would only take my salary at work and make do with it. Although my income fell a lot, I felt much more at peace and at ease. At the time I did have a few worries about not making enough money and eventually falling into poverty. But experiences showed me time and again that everything is being controlled by God and that all we have to do is submit to Him sincerely and we’ll be well rewarded with His blessings. To be honest, after I stopped doing bad things the family finances were seriously affected. There was one time when my children needed 12,000 yuan to pay school fees. I was going to try and borrow the money from someone but I just couldn’t bring myself to ask, which left me deeply worried for a while. Who would have thought that early the next day one of the residents in my neighborhood would come knocking on my door, saying that her husband knew me and that she had a house that she’d been trying unsuccessfully to sell for some time. It turned out that the night before she’d had a dream, and that a person in the dream told her that I could help her to sell the house and I was the only person who could sell it. As a result, she said that I had to help her, no matter what! I couldn’t refuse, so I went out of our apartment block and found a nearby real estate agent and gave them all of the necessary details. By some strange coincidence, there just happened to be a potential buyer in the agent’s office at the time, and within 2 days the house was sold. The agent gave me 10,000 yuan commission and the neighbor another 2,000 yuan, which sorted out my kid’s tuition fees problem. By helping me resolve this urgent matter God showed me how He works. On another occasion, someone else asked for my help in selling a house, and as the house sold for a good price I was able to make tens of thousands yuan within a month or so. After experiencing God’s mysterious ways, I came to understand that as long as I abided by God’s demands He would always open up a way forward for me. Knowing that everything is being arranged by God’s hands allowed me to stop chasing after the shady money that was such a source of anxiety for me. I could also plainly see all of the blessings that God had bestowed on my family: After believing in God my wife was able to break her 10-year old addiction to gambling at mahjong, and her serious stomach illness and rheumatism both disappeared as if by magic leaving her looking and feeling many years younger; and I felt free and energized after I stopped doing evil deeds. Our relationship became gentle and harmonious. For the first time, I felt true joy.

After experiencing God’s love and salvation, while also enjoying a new-found spiritual peace and ease, I found that more and more light was reaching the deepest recesses of my heart. It was like I had rediscovered the faith and trust in God that I’d had as a child. I was no longer willing to commit any sin, and so, after much thought, I decided to quit my job and never go back to police work. But no sooner had I set my heart on leaving sin behind me than Satan began to test me again: My chief told me he wanted to promote me and promised to not only give me a pay rise but also allocate an Audi for me to drive. The thought of getting these perks got me excited again and I didn’t sleep a wink that night. So I prayed to God: “Oh God, I really don’t know whether to give up this job or not. I really like Audis. I’ve wanted one since I was a child.” Just as I was dithering like this I got an unexpected call from my wife: “How come you’re not home yet?” I told her the reason, and she replied: “You don’t want to give up that job? Then you’ll die in an Audi!” That’s when I realized that the sudden call from my wife was all part of God’s arrangements and so I decided there and then to quit my job. A month later, on May 12, 2008, the devastating First Great Sichuan Earthquake occurred. The day after the quake I got a call from the wife of a former subordinate: “You’ve got to get to Wenchuan as soon as you can. My husband’s died!” (He had been driving through Wenchuan, the epicenter of the quake, on his way to a meeting.) When I got there I saw that the Audi that my ex-colleague had been in had been crushed by a giant boulder, and that he and all the other passengers were dead. Only his wife had survived because she had gotten out of the car earlier to go to the toilet. When I saw the horrible way that my former colleague had died in that Audi I wept loudly, but I also gave a prayer of thanks to God: “Thank You, God, thank You for saving me again from the brink of death. You saved me again. I should have been one of those who died in that Audi!” Later on, his wife asked me: “Why did you quit? My husband was after your job for ages. You treated him well, but he just wanted to bring you down as soon as he could!” So I told her: “I quit because I now believe in Almighty God,” and also told her all things that had happened since I started believing in God. And so she too came to accept Almighty God, at a later date.

God’s words say, “Look back to the time of Noah’s ark: Mankind was deeply corrupt, had strayed from the blessing of God, was no longer cared for by God, and had lost the promises of God. They lived in darkness, without the light of God. Thus they became licentious by nature, abandoned themselves to hideous depravity. Such men could no longer receive the promise of God; they were unfit to witness the face of God, nor to hear the voice of God, for they had abandoned God, had cast aside all that He had bestowed upon them, and had forgotten the teachings of God. Their heart strayed farther and farther from God, and as it did, they became depraved beyond all reason and humanity, and became increasingly evil. Thus they came ever closer to death, and fell under the wrath and punishment of God” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I was very moved by God’s words. I recalled how becoming an officer in the CCP administration was like falling into a great vat of sin, sinking deeper with every step. I remembered all my fraudulent ways of making money, how I used my position to enrich myself, the high life and the fine meals, and how debased and debauched I became. I was living a subhuman existence, and it was all because I had moved far away from God and was associating with evil demons. My predicament had totally been a result of associating with Satan and demons, and if God hadn’t saved me my fate would have been the same as those people who betrayed God in the time of Noah—God’s wrath and punishment would have befallen me and I would have died like my colleague! Nowadays, God has been incarnated in human form to express truths in order to cleanse and save people. He has come to awaken our hearts and spirits, to help us to leave sin behind and gain His care and protection. God’s work is extremely practical and His love is extremely real. When I turned back to God and began to live my life according to His words God not only saved me from sin and blessed me, He also saved my life! This is what made me understand what God meant when He said: “Only Noah worshiped God and shunned evil, and so he was able to hear the voice of God, and hear the instructions of God. He built the ark according to the instructions of God’s word, and assembled all manner of living creatures. And in this way, once everything had been prepared, God unleashed His destruction upon the world. Only Noah and the seven members of his family survived the destruction, for Noah worshiped Jehovah and shunned evil.” God is telling us that Noah gained God’s blessings and survived because he listened to God, he did everything according to God’s words, he worshiped God, and he stayed far away from evil. We, in these modern times, must also conduct our lives according to God’s words. No matter how bad or corrupt we were before, as long as we can accept truths, truly repent, and implement God’s words, then we too shall gain God’s salvation and grace. I’m sure that anyone who hears how God worked on me will be able to understand that God pulls out all the stops when it comes to saving people and that He won’t let a single innocent soul fall into the underworld!

For my brothers-in-arms in the all-reaching PSB police force I want you all to know that the words above all come directly from my heart. I know that you have all had many bitter experiences that you find hard to talk about, and that you have to do many things that you don’t want to, but whatever you do don’t be fooled by the CCP and fight against Almighty God any longer. I urge you all to give yourselves some space to back off otherwise you will find yourselves on the road to damnation. As soon as someone does anything that offends God then they are beyond redemption forever because blaspheming or resisting God is a sin that cannot be forgiven in this life or in the afterlife! Just like Ren Changxia, a police chief in the province of Henan who used her position to violently clamp down on The Church of Almighty God and arrest its members: She died a terrible death in a traffic accident. This completely confirms what Almighty God has said: “The Wicked Must Be Punished.” “He who defies the work of God shall be sent to hell.” How can ordinary mortals fight against God?! Also, my own experience should be enough to tell you that God doesn’t keep score of our transgressions, so as long as you give up your evil ways and start doing good, repent before God and return to Him, then you too can enjoy peace and happiness!

#Almighty God #The Church of Almighty God #God’s salvation

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rebelthroughreading-blog · 6 years

Text

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Melinda has a hard time speaking or keeping friends since what she did at the party the summer before high school finally started, and her life is only seeming to get worse.

Quick Information

price: $6.99

number of pages: 224

ISBN: 978-0312674397

publisher and date: Farrar, Straus and Giroux 1999

author’s website: http://madwomanintheforest.com/

genre: juvenile fiction

main subjects: emotional problems, high school, rape

Plot

After a particularly distressing party where Melinda called the police, she has refused to speak even to her own parents. As her first year of high school starts, she is known as the rat who cannot keep her mouth closed, all friends have abandoned her, and she can only find comfort in her art class, the single place in her whole life where she can actually express herself. However, as the time goes by, the aching that she has tried to push aside is itching to come out, but she keeps forcing it back down into a submissive silence.

Who’s reading it?

Written on a 9-12 grade level, the same ages would also be interested in the story.

Why did I read it?

As a young high school student myself, I was drawn to literature in order to escape the nightmare that was having to sit in those classrooms and deal with who I thought were the most ridiculous and annoying people to have ever existed. I would read anything that I could get my hands on, though I did prefer a well-written, meaningful book to a mindless page turner. My mother, the director of our public library and, at the time, committee member of YALSA (Young Adult Library Services Association - with the American Library Association. Essentially the people who love young adults and find the best services and books for them.) recommended the book Speak, which she had just read. I jumped on the opportunity, and I am so glad that I did.

Evaluation

One of the best books written, Speak tells the story of a traumatized girl unable to speak the troubles and suffering inside of her. Slow-paced, quiet, and heart-wrenching, Melinda’s story unfolds with readers holding their breaths. Not a thriller or action-packed adventure, this book shows the deep emotional and psychological burden of someone so young going through something so terrible as rape.

Melinda, a young, fourteen-year-old girl, went to a party, had a drink, met a gorgeous older boy, and was raped. She calls the police, because she does not know what else to do. When she calls, she does not know what to say. She cannot create the words to describe what has happened to her, nor can she find a reason to do so. In everyone else’s eyes, she calls the police over the party not over what the boy did. She is shunned, snubbed, and cast aside by everyone in her classes including those who used to call her a friend. She gains one friend at the beginning of the school year who eventually drops her, because she cannot keep up with the pace of other friends. Instead of talking, doing activities, and exiting like the normal ninth grade girl, she stays in the background. She cannot do it. It is not that she does not want to but that she cannot. Her trauma was so extensive that she is unable to function the way that she should.

Her art class is the only place that she can open up. In that class, she speaks, she works, and she finds a purpose for her life. She can express those feelings that have been silent through a different form of communication that comes easier to her. Art is medium that speaks to her, and thus allows her to speak to those who will listen.

When Melinda finally decides to speak about what happened to her, she talks to her previous best friend who has started dating the boy who raped her. Despite everything inside screaming to stay silent, she musters the courage to warn her friend, who pushes her away. The struggle to keep herself together only worsens as no one takes her seriously, because of an action she did to help herself and everyone else at that party but appeared to be an act of cowardice and immaturity.

As her struggles continue, the readers struggle with her. The more she feels as though she should not speak on top of the fact that she cannot speak, her readers want desperately to find a way to help her. We want for her to tell her parents or her art teacher, because they could do something meaningful to help her instead of pushing her aside like her friends did. Someone could help her, we could help her, but she did not know if she deserved the help.

The Issues

rape

sexual content

alcohol consumption

neglect

Melinda drank at a party and was raped. As a young, impressionable, easily coerced female, a boy takes advantage of her when she wants to stop but cannot say anything against the actions. When she takes the only action of which she can think, calls the police, she is ridiculed and shunned by her friends and class mates. She becomes nothing more than a tattle tale, because she was worried about the safety of herself and everyone else at the party. Then as her ninth grade year begins, she is treated as though she had done something terrible and would commit a personal crime against them all again if they allowed her anywhere near them. Her own feelings are never considered. Her parents, even, ignore how she feels and faults her for not doing well in her schooling. Though the way everyone treats her is not theoretically bullying, their constant neglect and ill treatment has the same effects on her as that of bullying. She begins to feel as though they are correct, and there would be no point in attempting to explain her actions, even if she could.

So why should we read it?

Melinda drank at a party. Her rape had nothing to do with that; he would have done exactly the same thing even if she had been completely sober. He did this to her, not the other way around. She did nothing but want to kiss a gorgeous boy. Did she say the words “No, I do not want to have sex,”? No, but she could not. In that kind of situation, denying something that is happening to you in such a way, equal to an attack, saying no was impossible for her. The way she reacted was refusal, and he should have gotten permission before ever doing anything remotely intimate with her. Not to mention, he too was a minor and should never have been acting in such a way with that kind of intent. This was not her fault.

Her family cannot read her mind. She has pushed everything away, demanded its silence, and therefore no one knows. They only know that she is acting strangely, no longer motivated to do anything including school, and seems drawn to art. Her parents, we wish, would have noticed that something else was wrong with her, but we can only expect two people to see the inner workings of another person who seems pretty good at hiding her true feelings. Her true friends, her art teacher and Ivy, understand something more about her than everyone else. They can see her potential in art, help her express her feelings through that, though they too cannot see what is going on inside of her. She does not let them in past her barriers, so all they know is what little she will allow, which is still more than with the rest of her class mates who treat her like the rat they think that she is.

How can we use it?

Melinda goes through something unimaginable in the real world. Young adults cannot help but think that those kinds of things do not happen to real people. They do, and they need to see that through something easier to manage like fiction. They need to see that bad things happen that may not always be able to be prevented. They need to see that some things are hard to deal with, and help is available if you can find it.

Applying something drastic to something less intense always helps as well. Teenagers in other situations can take what happened to Melinda and the results and apply it to themselves in order to understand maybe a new path on which to travel in order to get to a new place.

Booktalk Ideas

Melinda has not been able to speak since she was unable to speak during her rape. She could not speak to the police on the phone, she cannot speak to her parents, and she cannot speak in class. The only place she in comfortable speaking is in the art classroom. Why would she be able to speak there? Communicating through art does not necessarily involve speech, so why is she able to conjure the words to talk while in the classroom?

Is there anything else Melinda could have done in the situation at the party? She has had a drink though not enough to make her completely incoherent. She sees a beautiful boy who seems interested in her, and she just wants a kiss. She thinks that it will be cool, because she is not even in high school yet. Could she have done anything else in this situation other than not be at the party?

What else can I read?

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Stuck in Neutral by Shawn McDaniel

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

What Happens Next by Colleen Clayton

Awards and Lists

School Library Best Books of the Year

Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books Blue Ribbon Award

California Young Reader Medal

BCCB Blue Ribbon Award, Books for the Teen Age

New York Public Library

Golden Kite Award Winner

National Book Awards Finalist

NYPL Books for the Teen Age

Booklist Editors' Choice

American Library Association Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adults

ALA Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adults

School Library Journal Best Books of the Year

American Library Association Best Books for Young Adults

Golden Kite Award for Fiction

PA Carolyn W. Field Award

Michael L. Printz Award - Honor

American Library Association Quick Picks for Young Adults

Kentucky Blue Grass Award

ALA Best Books for Young Adults

Edgar Allan Poe Award Nominee

Horn Book Magazine Fanfare List

Professional Reviews

Sally Smith (2000), Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy - https://www-jstor-org.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/stable/40016844?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents

Debbie Carton (1999), Booklist - http://go.galegroup.com.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/ps/i.do?&id=GALE|A56063651&v=2.1&u=csusj&it=r&p=LitRC&sw=w

#laurie halse anderson #rape #YA #young adult #fiction #high school #neglect #emotional #silent #female main character

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almighty-god-saved-me-blog · 6 years

Text

God Didn’t Have the Heart to Let Me Fall Into the Underworld | the Church of Almighty God

How a Public Security Bureau Local Station Chief Was Conquered by God’s Words

Zhang Jun, Sichuan Province

Source: God Didn’t Have the Heart to Let Me Fall Into the Underworld

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