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#planet transit july 2022
rudrjobdesk · 2 years
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जुलाई में पांच बड़े ग्रहों की स्थिति में होगा बदलाव, जानें आपकी राशि पर क्या पड़ेगा प्रभाव
जुलाई में पांच बड़े ग्रहों की स्थिति में होगा बदलाव, जानें आपकी राशि पर क्या पड़ेगा प्रभाव
Grah Rashi Parivartan 2022 July: जुलाई में कई बड़े ग्रहों की स्थिति में परिवर्तन होगा। 2 जुलाई को ग्रहों के राजकुमार बुध मिथुन राशि में प्रवेश करेंगे। इसके बाद 12 जुलाई को शनि वक्री अवस्था में आएंगे। शनि ग्रह की चाल में परिवर्तन के ठीक अगले दिन 13 जुलाई को शुक्र मिथुन राशि में प्रवेश करेंगे। 16 जुलाई को सूर्य मिथुन राशि से निकलकर कर्क राशि में गोचर करेंगे। इसके बाद महीने के अंत में मीन राशि में…
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suniastrology · 2 years
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Daily astrology update: Sunday, July 31, 2022
Main astrological events and what to expect…
SUN TRINE JUPITER
MERCURY OPPOSITE SATURN
MARS CONJUNCT URANUS
On Sunday, Sun in Leo is making a positive aspect with Jupiter in Aries. This could bring positive results, success and achievements, in some areas in your life. Your vision towards future projects, career and business growth or social ventures could expand, and your intellect and original thinking may be put in a good use.
You may feel more optimistic, creative, imaginative and spiritually uplifted, especially for the next couple of days and you will have the energy to work towards your dreams. Education, long distance travels/connecting with people abroad may be well supported under this lucky period and you even may find yourself in the centre of attention due to your originality and talent.
Any type of partnerships, relationships and collaboration may bring success and support in your personal and professional life. You may meet or connect with the right people, in the right place and in the right time which may play an important and beneficial role in your life; in realising your project, ideas and goals. The aspect is active for 2 days.  
However, during the day Mercury is in opposition with Saturn which could bring some challenges when it comes to communication with bosses, authority figures or institutions so make sure you are well prepared and act rationally when dealing with such. The aspect is active only for 1 day.
On the other hand, there is an important conjunct aspect between Mars and Uranus in the sign of Taurus. This is a new cycle and opportunities for new beginning especially when it comes to resources, finances, property/land and even our physical body. It is a good time to initiate new ventures, plant seeds or make the necessary changes and transformation in this regard.  But because of the tense nature of the planet in this conjunction, both Mars and Uranus, things could be hectic, unpredictable even aggressive.
Especially, during the next few days, this planetary combination – conjunction between Mars and Uranus - may bring a tension and nervousness, and sudden/unpredictable events. Erratic or irrational behaviour could be experienced as well as hypersensitivity and emotional disbalance.
Avoid taking risky financial decisions and investments because this could bring unpleasant surprises or shocking events in this regard. Don’t jump to something completely new or eccentric ventures because the aspect could cause challenges and complications. Hurts or injuries, accidents and incidents as well as overwhelming thoughts/mental activities are also likely during this period. Be careful when driving or undertaking risky sports activities. Take care on your physical and mental health because this energy is could be very exhausting. In a positive note, the aspect could bring a strong energy drive and bravery when a certain situation requires such.  The aspect is active for 5 days.
Keep in mind that these are GENERAL ASTROLOGICAL TENDENCIES and how exactly this energy will influence you it’s depending on your personal horoscope, but most definitely you will feel these astrological events in one way or another, especially, in some areas in your life. And remember, that singe astrological event does not represent the whole picture in a personal or on a collective level.
Best wishes
suni astrology
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Exoplanets true to size
From the brightness variations of its host star, an exoplanet’s size and other properties can be determined. In order to avoid mistakes, the star’s magnetic field is decisive
700 light years away from Earth in the constellation Virgo, the planet WASP-39b orbits the star WASP-39. The gas giant, which takes little more than four days to complete one orbit, is one of the best-studied exoplanets: Shortly after its commissioning in July 2022, NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope turned its high-precision gaze on the distant planet. The data revealed evidence of large quantities of water vapor, of methane and even, for the first time, of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere of WASP-39b. A minor sensation! But there is still one fly in the ointment: researchers have not yet succeeded in reproducing all the crucial details of the observations in model calculations. This stands in the way of an even more precise analyses of the data. In the new study led by the MPS, the authors, including researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (USA), the Space Telescope Science Institute (USA), Keele University (United Kingdom), and the University of Heidelberg (Germany), show a way to overcome this obstacle.
"The problems arising when interpreting the data from WASP-39b are well known from many other exoplanets - regardless whether they are observed with Kepler, TESS, James Webb, or the future PLATO spacecraft," explains MPS scientist Dr. Nadiia Kostogryz, first author of the new study. "As with other stars orbited by exoplanets, the observed light curve of WASP-39 is flatter than previous models can explain," she adds.
Researchers define a light curve as a measurement of the brightness of a star over a longer period of time. The brightness of a star fluctuates constantly, for example because its luminosity is subject to natural fluctuations. Exoplanets can also leave traces in the light curve. If an exoplanet passes in front of its star as seen by an observer, it dims the starlight. This is reflected in the light curve as a regularly recurring drop in brightness. Precise evaluations of such curves provide information about the size and orbital period of the planet. Researchers can also obtain information about the composition of the planet's atmosphere, if the light from the star is split into its different wavelengths or colours.
A close look at a star’s brightness distribution
The limb of a star, the edge of the stellar disk, plays a decisive role in the interpretation of its light curve. Just as in the case of the Sun, the limb appears darker to the observer than the inner area.  However, the star does not actually shine less brightly further out. "As the star is a sphere and its surface curved, we look into higher and therefore cooler layers at the limb than in the center," explains coauthor and MPS-Director Prof. Dr. Laurent Gizon. "This area therefore appears darker to us," he adds.
It is known that the limb darkening affects the exact shape of the exoplanet signal in the light curve: The dimming determines how steeply the brightness of a star falls during a planetary transit and then rises again. However, it has not been possible to reproduce observational data accurately using conventional models of the stellar atmosphere. The decrease of brightness was always less abrupt than the model calculations suggested. "It was clear that we were missing a crucial piece of the puzzle to precisely understand the exoplanets’ signal," says MPS-Director Prof. Dr. Sami Solanki, coauthor of the current study.
Magnetic field is the missing piece of the puzzle
As the calculations published today show, the missing piece of the puzzle is the stellar magnetic field. Like the Sun, many stars generate a magnetic field deep in their interior through enormous flows of hot plasma. For the first time, the researchers were now able to include the magnetic field in their models of limb darkening. They could show that the strength of the magnetic field has an important effect: The limb darkening is pronounced in stars with a weak magnetic field, while it is weaker in those with a strong magnetic field.
The researchers were also able to prove that the discrepancy between observational data and model calculations disappears if the star's magnetic field is included in the computations. To this end, the team turned to selected data from NASA's Kepler Space Telescope, which captured the light of thousands and thousands of stars from 2009 to 2018. In a first step, the scientists modeled the atmosphere of typical Kepler stars in the presence of a magnetic field. In a second step, they then generated "artificial" observational data from these calculations. As a comparison with the real data showed, by including the magnetic field, the Kepler data is successfully reproduced.
The team also extended its considerations to data from the James Webb Space Telescope. The telescope is able to split the light of distant stars into its various wavelengths and thus search for the characteristic signs of certain molecules in the atmosphere of the discovered planets. As it turns out, the magnetic field of the parent star influences the stellar limb darkening differently at different wavelengths - and should therefore be taken into account in future evaluations in order to achieve even more precise results.
From telescopes to models
"In the past decades and years, the way to move forward in exoplanet research was to improve the hardware, the space telescopes designed to search for and characterize new worlds. The James Webb Space Telescope has pushed this development to new limits", says Dr. Alexander Shapiro, coauthor of the current study and head of an ERC-funded research group at the MPS. "The next step is now to improve and refine the models to interpret this excellent data", he adds.
To further advance this development, the researchers now want to extend their analyses to stars that are clearly different from the Sun. In addition, their findings offer the possibility of using the light curves of stars with exoplanets to infer the strength of the stellar magnetic field, which is otherwise often hard to measure.
IMAGE....Stars with low magnetic field strength exhibit a more pronounced limb darkening than those with a strong magnetic field. This affects the shape of the light curve. Credit MPS / hormesdesign.de
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mercury in leo • july 19, 2022 - august 4, 2022
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on july 19, 2022 at 7:35 AM CST, mercury will be entering the fiery + bold sign of leo. when mercury, the planet of communication, is in the sign of leo, how we interact with our immediate environment will be dynamic, confident, and creative. now is the time to speak boldly with the people around you. say it with your chest! speak about your passions - people are going to be down to listen. the energy to inspire others is also very potent during this transit. be open to meeting nu people. also, leo is a fixed sign which means that it carries a level of stubbornness to it - make sure that you are staying open minded during this time and allow yourself to be open to nu inspirational ideas. conversations are going to still be coming from the heart space, except things are getting more spicy and romantic.
this transit will be favorable for fire placements (aries, leo, and sagittarius); gemini + libra placements could really use this transit to their advantage as it is creating opportunities; and fixed placements (taurus, leo, scorpio, and aquarius) will be going through a dynamic transit - whether it's good or bad depends on perspective!
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how to alchemize with mercury in leo:
express your creativity to elevate spiritually
use music to heal
break toxic habits that lower your heart frequency
focus on heart chakra meditations
make things in your environment lighthearted
work on controlling your temper
bring more ease into your environment
journal prompt: what do you care about that also helps you to shine?
open your mind to the unknown
focus on your passions
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opia-tarot · 2 years
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last night (july 1st 2022) was the new moon in cancer. I think this was the best new moon yet. Anyway what can you expect from this new moon?
New moons are all about a fresh start and positive removals to make way for new energy. So what you can expect is new beginnings. I would look at where the moon is currently transiting your chart to have a better idea. There could be changes in friendships, family dynamics etc. remember these changes are to make space for new stuff. If friendships seem to be coming apart or people are distant, this is just the next step on your path. Moon is trining Jupiter within the current transits, so luck is about to start flowing in, in regard to the themes relating to where the moon is currently transiting in your chart. Have a look at what house the 🌚 is in, within your current transits chart. Also have a look at what aspects are between the 🌚 and other planets. This will help u gain insight regarding where you will experience these new beginnings.
This will be a time where optimism is going to be more prevalent, especially because of the current moon trine jupiter transit. The remnants of the cancer new moon that happened last night combined with the current leo waxing crescent moon is all about that push towards your goals and finally having the confidence to go after what you want. You’re going to see big shifts happening, positive shifts. We’re all moving towards a very positive phase of vitality and growing confidence. This is the time to start pushing towards reaching your goals. It’s time to start considering taking action. Now is the time to start making decisions based on what benefits you, i’m not encouraging selfishness, but you need to start putting yourself first. The energetic shift from the cancer new moon to leo waxing crescent is about exiting your comfort zone. It’s time to start doing things outside of your usual comfort zone. Start taking those steps towards change. There will be shifts anyway, you might as well start small. Now is also a great time to be manifesting any big positive changes or major shifts for your own good. Those big things you want to manifest? Now is the time!
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🌚 start being creative
🌚manifest!!
🌚make a routine
🌚start being consistent
🌚manifest a removal of blockages (mental or otherwise) of course with positive intentions
🌚manifest clear insight and direction
🌚start taking action!!
🌚start a project and stick to it
🌚start coming up with new ideas for self growth, could be creativity, a project, a trip etc
🌚add excitement to your daily routine
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thirdrowcentre · 5 months
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It's that time again. A few years ago I decided I would try and watch two films I'd never seen before each week. This year I've watched 374.
These are some of the ones that stood out.
JANUARY
The Leopard (dir. Luchino Visconti, 1963). Watched 1.1.23 at BFI Southbank
Benediction (dir. Terence Davies, 2021). Watched 11.1.23
Gangubai Kathiawadi (dir. Sanjay Leela Bhansali, 2022). Watched 17.1.23
The Swimmer (dir. Frank Perry, 1968). Watched 30.1.23.
Comizi d’amore (dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1964). Watched 31.1.23
FEBRUARY
Ugetsu Monogatari (dir. Kenji Mizoguchi, 1953). Watched 7.2.23
Wings (dir. Larisa Shepitko, 1966). Watched 22.2.23
Mirror (dir. Andrei Tarkovsky, 1975). Watched 24.2.23
MARCH
Born in Flames (dir. Lizzie Borden, 1983). Watched 2.3.23
Yi Yi (dir. Edward Yang, 2000). Watched 5.3.23
Taste of Cherry (dir. Abbas Kiarostami, 1997). Watched 6.3.23
Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles. (dir. Chantal Akerman, 1975). Watched 11.2.23 at BFI Southbank
Judex (dir. Georges Franju, 1963). Watched 12.3.23
Transit (dir. Christian Petzold, 2018). Watched 14.3.23
A Man Escaped (dir. Robert Bresson, 1956). Watched 19.3.23
Bellissima (dir. Luchino Visconti, 1951). Watched 31.3.23
APRIL
Army of Shadows (dir. Jean-Pierre Melville, 1969). Watched 2.4.23
Jacquot de Nantes (dir. Agnès Varda, 1991). Watched 10.4.23
Where is the friend’s house? (dir. Abbas Kiarostami, 1987). Watched 13.4.23
John Wick: Chapter 4 (dir. Chad Stahelski, 2023). Watched 16.4.23 at BFI IMAX
Charulata (dir. Satyajit Ray, 1964). Watched 27.4.23
Night and Fog (dir. Alain Resnais, 1956). Watched 28.4.23
MAY
Thirst (dir. Park Chan-wook, 2009). Watched 3.5.23
Return to Seoul (dir. Davy Chou, 2023). Watched 7.5.23 at Curzon Hoxton
The Eight Mountains (dir. Felix van Groeningen, Charlotte Vandermeersch, 2023) Watched 12.5.23 at Curzon Hoxton
The Five Devils (dir. Léa Mysius, 2022). Watched 24.5.23
Nostalgia for the Light (dir. Patricio Guzmán, 2010). Watched 31.5.23
JUNE
Citadel (dir. John Smith, 2021). Watched 1.6.23
It’s Always Fair Weather (dir. Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly, 1955). Watched 10.6.23 at BFI Southbank 35mm.
Service for Ladies (dir. Alexander Korda, 1932). Watched 11.6.23 at BFI Southbank 35mm *nitrate*
And Life Goes On (dir. Abbas Kiarostami, 1992). Watched 14.6.23
Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy (dir. Pamela Green, 2018). Watched 19.6.23
King and Country (dir. Joseph Losey, 1964). Watched 20.6.23
JULY
London (dir. Patrick Keiller, 1994). Watched 3.7.23
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (dir. J. Lee Thompson, 1972). Watched 14.7.23
Barbie (dir. Greta Gerwig, 2023). Watched 21.7.23 at BFI Southbank
Oppenheimer (dir. Christopher Nolan, 2023). Watched 23.7.23 at BFI IMAX. 70mm IMAX
I’m Not There (dir. Todd Haynes, 2007). Watched 28.7.23
AUGUST
Three Blind Mice (dir. William A. Seiter, 1938). Watched 17.8.23
Corridor of Mirrors (dir. Terence Young, 1948). Watched 22.8.23
World of Apu (dir. Satyajit Ray, 1959). Watched 26.8.23
L’argent (dir. Robert Bresson, 1983). Watched 31.8.23
SEPTEMBER
Past Lives (dir. Celine Song, 2023). Watched 3.9.23 at Curzon Soho.
Austenland (dir. Jerusha Hess, 2013). Watched 8.9.23
Lady Vengeance (dir. Park Chan-wook, 2005). Watched 19.9.23
News from Home (dir. Chantal Akerman, 1977). Watched 20.9.23
Edge of Tomorrow (dir. Doug Liman, 2014). Watched 28.9.23
OCTOBER
Killers of the Flower Moon (dir. Martin Scorsese, 2023). Watched 8.1.23 at Royal Festival Hall. London Film Festival
Judgement at Nuremberg (dir. Stanley Kramer, 1961). Watched 12.10.23
The Stranger and the Fog (dir. Bahram Beyzai, 1974). Watched 14.10.23 at BFI Southbank. London Film Festival. 35mm
I am Not a Witch (dir. Rungano Nyoni, 2017). Watched 26.10.23
Contraband (dir. Michael Powell, 1940). Watched 30.10.23 at BFI Southbank
NOVEMBER
Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (dir. Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2010). Watched 9.11.23.
Anatomy of a Fall (dir. Justine Triet, 2023). Watched 15.11.23 at Curzon Hoxton
Citizens Band (dir. Jonathan Demme, 1977). Watched 21.11.23
DECEMBER
Oh, Rosalinda!! (dir. Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger, 1955). Watched 2.12.23 at BFI Southbank. 35mm
How to Have Sex (dir. Molly Manning Walker, 2023). Watched 10.12.23 at the Garden cinema.
Tish (dir. Paul Sng, 2023). Watched 22.12.23
Fallen Angels (dir. Wong Kar-wai, 1996). Watched 29.12.23
----
Other highlights included: Stop Making Sense (twice!) on BFI IMAX. Tears of joy, dancing in my seat. Black Narcissus on nitrate at the BFI Southbank. Crying all the way through The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp at BFI Southbank. Showing someone L’Atalante and I Know Where I’m Going, two of my favourite films, in my favourite cinema (again, BFI Southbank). The terrible Fast X, in Vue Leicester Square with one of my best friends. Walking through Shoreditch on a Saturday night, maybe the most heterosexual place imaginable, to watch Bottoms at Curzon Aldgate. Talking and crying about Jonathan Demme at a house party with a stranger. Sitting and sobbing, breathless, after How to Have Sex - steeling myself and walking home thinking about my life, the lives of all the young women I know. Watching Aftersun for the second time at the beginning of the year with my youngest sister, floods of tears overtaking us both. Seven Samurai on the BFI IMAX with my best friends. The Hunger on 35mm at the Prince Charles Cinema, with more of my best friends. And screening Some Like it Hot on 16mm in the tiny theatre at the back of Ümit and Son in Clapton, surrounded by loving, beautiful people who make me who I am.
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ms-m-astrologer · 2 years
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Transiting Jupiter stations direct
Timeline (current events in bold)
Wednesday, May 4, 2022, 21:36 UT - transiting Jupiter enters pre-retrograde shadow, 28°48’ Pisces
Tuesday, May 10, 23:23 UT - transiting Jupiter enters Aries
Thursday, July 28, 20:37 UT - transiting Jupiter stations retrograde, 8°43’ Aries
Friday, October 28, 05:10 UT - transiting Jupiter retrogrades back into Pisces
Wednesday, November 23, 23:02 UT - transiting Jupiter stations direct, 28°48’ Pisces
Tuesday, December 20, 14:32 UT - transiting Jupiter re-enters Aries
Tuesday, February 14, 08:20 UT - transiting Jupiter exits post-retrograde shadow, 8°43’ Aries
“Interesting” that Jupiter spent only six days in those final two degrees of Pisces - back in May - but is now in the middle of 54 days in that same stretch of Zodiac. You may want to review that week back in May, and then look at how any Jupiter-type issues reappeared over the past four weeks!
(Checked the journal: during those six May days, Ms M discovered that she can crochet without having to put her contact lenses in - Jupiter had just entered by transit her 5th House of creativity.)
These stationary times are also really good for giving the planet a healthy look-over - what is it up to in your natal chart; where is this transit trying to take you; what might the end results be (the houses with Sagittarius and Pisces on the cusp.)
Between now and December 20, we have an excellent opportunity to feel a dignified (in a sign it rules) Jupiter/Pisces trying to give us its blessings.
Sometimes that may show up as a loss - it’s Pisces - but how many billions of times have humans exclaimed, “Losing that (noun) was the best thing that ever happened to me!” Blessings in disguise.
“Ask and it shall be given to you” - the trick there, of course, is knowing what to ask for. Steven Forrest, in The Book of Water, repeatedly emphasizes the potential for spiritual blessings, in any Jupiter/Pisces combination. We often talk about “the grace of God/dess” - “there but for the grace of God/dess go I” - even if all we can think of is, “thank You God/dess for helping me out” - that should be plenty.
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Your 2022 Venus in Cancer Horoscope
     Tighten those purse strings and give someone a big hug: on July 17, Venus, the planet of love and money, glides into the security-loving water sign Cancer, where it stays until Aug. 11. 
      2022 Venus in Cancer sends your sentimentality and stinginess surging. Get ready to rhapsodize your past as if it’s the best thing that ever was, because this transit is all about nostalgia. Also, if you’ve been throwing away money during Venus in Gemini, Venus’s transit through Cancer may see you clinging to your cash like Mr. Burns. 
     And speaking of clinginess…  
     Venus in Cancer will also have you clinging to your loved ones like a vine. During this time, it’s totally natural to ache for snuggles, cuddles and ~quality~ time. That means less talking and more hugging, kissing, and cuddling for you and your boo. With friends, you’ll forgo going out and instead hole away at home to cook dinners together like some sitcom family. (Booze will still be there, though, because water signs love to drink.) 
     Of course, how 2022 Venus in Cancer will have you curling up and counting your cash depends entirely on your Sun / Rising sign, so without further ado:
Your 2022 Venus in Cancer Horoscope
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Aries ♈
     Affection for your family swells like the tides. Ugh, there’s so much love you have for parents and kids (should you have them), it would make an air sign puke. You’re also feeling hella heroic in your love relationships and may aim to save someone. Another totally legitimate possibility: you decide to beautify your abode but end up skimping on furniture that’s too flashy or pricey. Ikea here you come…  
Taurus ♉
     Time for some serious tête-à-têtes with your nearest-and-dearest peeps. Venus in Cancer wants you to connect with siblings or neighbors on a mental and emotional level. Before you snort at that, consider this: conversations are often accompanied by food, and we both know how much you love food. So, don’t ignore the invites for afternoon tea and crumpets. Also know that you don't have to do all the talking… 
Gemini ♊
     Grappling with your budget? Money seems to slip through your fingers, but your insight into deals is sharp thanks to Venus in Cancer. Really, you’re only spending on the absolute necessities: groceries, gas, vegan ice cream, reiki-charged eggs, etc. Good thing too, you have to pay for June's VISA bill, but just as quickly as you electronically sign the statement, you may get an opportunity to earn that money back…   
Cancer ♋
     Creative, romantic, and prosperous, Venus in Cancer has you feeling Cleopatra or Queen Bey. Everyone, even strangers, will be intrigued by you because you’re lit-from-within, but also mysteriously distant. Just like the moon. This is a good time to get to work on your album, get cooking and make some brownies, or get out there and charm the socks off of a sugar daddy and live the high-life 4 lyfe…  
Leo ♌
     Love runs smooth as a silk teddy from Shein (it’s also just as cheap and short-lived). Venus in Cancer heightens your romanticism and may bring back a lover from the past. If you’re single and mingling, any relationship that starts during this time will be kept hush-hush. Really, you’re more inclined to hide away at home. Cuddling on the couch, making art or masturbating at midnight puts you at ease… 
Virgo ♍
     Venus in Cancer brings friends from yesteryear back into your life and you all binge-watch the new “Obi-Wan Kenobi” series on Disney+. These friends, who are basically your soulmates, might even bring another friend along and… WAM, you and said person hit it off like Anakin and Padme on Tatooine. Things really heat up when you both realize neither can stomach “Star Wars: Episode One” (because that movie SUCKED)…   
Libra ♎
     Looking for love? Thanks to Venus in Cancer, you could click with someone at the office. But if you’re already in a committed partnership–which you probably ARE–then you and your boo make love a business affair. Of course, if relationships aren’t your priority–which, tbh, they always ARE–money will be. Good thing you’ve got extra charm to employ when convincing your boss, partner, bank and/or parents to lend you $5k…  
Scorpio ♏
     Self-confidence and idealism spill over thanks to Venus in Cancer. It’s been a while since you felt so… lovey-dovey (and it’s kinda weird). One way to deal with these feelings is to escape them and travel somewhere exotic, where you’ll maybe meet someone exotic, or eat something exotic. Um, the fajitas at Chili’s are pretty good. And their bartenders aren’t too shabby either (if you catch my drift)…   
Sagittarius ♐
     Say sayonara to your trusting nature and embrace your suspicious side. Venus in Cancer heightens your intuition, making you a mite more paranoid about the intentions of potential dates, hook-ups and/or bank managers. You’ll be all like, Are they lying to me about their job? What did they mean when they said they “liked” me? My bitcoin stock is doing WHAT? Etc. Don’t drive yourself crazy over imagined insults…   
Capricorn ♑
     Commitments to your partner(s) deepen thanks to Venus in Cancer. Strange though it may be for you, you’re actually thinking of other people and wanting to do things with them. Say what? (Until they get under your skin, and believe me, they will). If single, you could start dating one of your close friends or even–gasp–an adversary. Which you’re totally into, because there’s nothing hotter than an enemies-to-lovers romance… 
Aquarius ♒
     Animals need love too, you know. So, show those fur babies– be they dog, cat, badger, parrot –some extra love during this Venus in Cancer transit, and watch how the love magically reciprocates ('cuz animals are awesome for this). Another highlight of this transit: your day-to-day life runs smoother, but this might be because your mom comes over and decides to do all that day-to-day-adult stuff– cleaning, laundry – for you…   
Pisces ♓
     People are gonna be falling at your feet in adoration thanks to Venus in Cancer. Charming, witty and flirtatious, you feel like the most popular person on the planet. This confidence prompts you to go out more, but only if someone else is buying you drinks. Otherwise, you’re perfectly content staying home, taking a long bath and pouting over the fact that no one wants to buy you drinks. Yet… 
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crazyblondelife · 2 years
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Lionsgate Portal
Tomorrow is August 8, 2022 - 8-8-22 which is the Lions Gate Portal! What does that mean exactly?
August 8 is a big and important day in numerology and astrology. Each year between July 28 and August 12, the Lion's Gate portal opens as the Earth, the star Sirius and the Sun move into complete alignment with the pyramids of Giza (Giza is the largest Egyptian pyramid and the tomb of Fourth Dynasty pharaoh Khufu.). They appear as two suns in the sky. This alignment activates a gateway between the physical and spiritual worlds. On August 8, this powerful Stargate reaches its peak position and Orion’s Belt moves into direct alignment with the Pyramids of Giza opening the cosmic 8:8 Lions Gate Portal. This vortex allows supercharged light codes to flood our planet and is an opportunity to create powerful manifestations.
On the special activation date of August 8 (8:8), the moon phase will be Waxing Gibbous in the sign of Sagittarius. As the Sun enters it’s home in Leo and Sirius aligns with the Earth and Orion's Belt, they create an intense energy which alters our perspective on ourselves and the world, offering people born under all zodiac signs an opportunity to manifest powerful positive change.
Leo is all about our hearts and the passions within. During Lion's Gate Portal, we feel a rise in awareness (I have definitely felt this since the end of July but didn’t know what was going on).
This rise in awareness may manifest as anxiety, overthinking and restlessness, but once the portal closes, it will bring us to a powerful place of newfound purpose.
The number 8 in Astrology is know as the number of powerhouse and acts as a bridge between spiritual and material realms. It is also the number of power and wealth. During the Lion's Gate portal, Sirius separates enough from the sun to come into view.  Sirius is the brightest star in our night sky, and some ancient (and even current) mystics believed it infuses the earth with extra energy and light.
The ancient Egyptians worshipped Sirius as the goddess Sopdet, celebrating Sirius' return in the morning sky as the start of the farming season and the beginning of a new year. Some healers and teachers believe the energy coming from Sirius contains special elevating or activating energy that can help the Earth and her people evolve, - Source - mbgmindfulness.com
In Numerology, 8 is a significant number representing strength, harmony and Infinity…the double energy of 8:8 is a powerhouse. It acts as a bridge between spiritual and material realms and is also the number of power and wealth. The double number 8 is connected with achievement, goals, signified by the interlocking circles of "8," or the infinity symbol.
Based on the significance of this portal, here are things you can expect…
Unexpected endings and new beginnings.
Feeling awakened, energized and in alignment
You may see number sequences 11:11, 333, 444, 888
You may receive prophetic messages through dreams
You may be able to instantly manifest and alter your reality
You may feel dega vu, synchronicities and receive spiritual downloads
You may have unexpected transitions and feel extremely positive transformations
Here are a few things you can do to take advantage of the 8:8 Lions Gate Portal and intensify the natural energy of the day!
Focus on Love - the Lion's Gate can connect you to the portal in your own heart so do things that bring you joy to open and expand your heart.
Start manifesting - this is an opportunity to call in the things you want. Focus on the larger context of your life and what you ultimately want to create instead of focusing on short term goals.
Tap into your spiritual side…pray, meditate, chant, do breath work, dance and spend time in nature to amplify the energy of the day!
Practice gratitude for anything and everything!
All of these things are important to incorporate into your everyday life, but on August 8, you may find that these spiritual practices amplify your desires!
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aerospace-anant · 2 years
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James Webb Space Telescope First Images
12th July 2022 marks one of the most important days in the history of mankind. James Webb Space Telescope revealed its first images and I am at a loss for words. This blog is more than a way to share information but is a thanks to all the scientists, engineers, ad everyone else on the Webb team and a way to congratulate the entire scientific community and human kind as this marks a major step in unravelling the universe. Now I know that mine is an aerospace page but this one is going to have an astrophysics and astronomy side to it. If you want to read about the engineering behind the JWST the do read-( https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/aerospace-anant/672455873494384640?source=share)
SMACS 0723
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NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope has delivered the deepest and sharpest infrared image of the distant universe so far. Webb’s First Deep Field is galaxy cluster SMACS 0723, and it is teeming with thousands of galaxies – including the faintest objects ever observed in the infrared. Webb’s image is approximately the size of a grain of sand held at arm’s length, a tiny sliver of the vast universe. The combined mass of this galaxy cluster acts as a gravitational lens, magnifying more distant galaxies, including some seen when the universe was less than a billion years old. Einstein’s general theory of relativity describes how mass concentrations distort the space around them.
 A gravitational lens can occur when a huge amount of matter, like a cluster of galaxies, creates a gravitational field that distorts and magnifies the light from distant galaxies that are behind it but in the same line of sight. The effect is like looking through a giant magnifying glass. It allows researchers to study the details of early galaxies too far away to be seen with current technology and telescopes.
It is a composite made from images at different wavelengths, totalling 12.5 hours using the NIRcam – achieving depths at infrared wavelengths beyond the Hubble Space Telescope’s deepest fields, which took weeks.
This image shows the galaxy cluster SMACS 0723 as it appeared 4.6 billion years ago, with many more galaxies in front of and behind the cluster. We are looking back in time to within a billion years after the big bang when viewing the youngest galaxies in this field. The light was stretched by the expansion of the universe to infrared wavelengths that Webb was designed to observe. Other features include the prominent arcs in this field. The powerful gravitational field of a galaxy cluster can bend the light rays from more distant galaxies behind it, just as a magnifying glass bends and warps images.
2. WASP-96b
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With a mass less than half that of Jupiter and a diameter 1.2 times greater, WASP-96 b is much puffier than any planet orbiting our Sun. And with a temperature greater than 1000°F, it is significantly hotter. WASP-96 b orbits extremely close to its Sun-like star, just one-ninth of the distance between Mercury and the Sun, completing one circuit every 3½ Earth-days. The combination of large size, short orbital period, puffy atmosphere, and lack of contaminating light from objects nearby in the sky makes WASP-96 b an ideal target for atmospheric observations. The observation, reveals the presence of specific gas molecules based on tiny decreases in the brightness of precise colours of light, is the most detailed of its kind to date, demonstrating Webb’s unprecedented ability to analyse atmospheres hundreds of light-years away. On June 21, Webb’s NIRISS measured light from the WASP-96 system for 6.4 hours as the planet moved across the star. The result is a light curve showing the overall dimming of starlight during the transit, and a transmission spectrum revealing the brightness change of individual wavelengths of infrared light between 0.6 and 2.8 microns. 
While the light curve confirms properties of the planet that had already been determined from other observations – the existence, size, and orbit of the planet – the transmission spectrum reveals previously hidden details of the atmosphere: the unambiguous signature of water, indications of haze, and evidence of clouds that were thought not to exist based on prior observations.
3. STEPHENS QUINTET
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Stephan’s Quintet, a visual grouping of five galaxies. This enormous mosaic is Webb’s largest image to date, covering about one-fifth of the Moon’s diameter. It contains over 150 million pixels and is constructed from almost 1,000 separate image files. With its powerful, infrared vision and extremely high spatial resolution, Webb shows never-before-seen details in this galaxy group. Sparkling clusters of millions of young stars and starburst regions of fresh star birth grace the image. Sweeping tails of gas, dust and stars are being pulled from several of the galaxies due to gravitational interactions. Most dramatically, Webb captures huge shock waves as one of the galaxies, NGC 7318B, smashes through the cluster. Tight groups like this may have been more common in the early universe when their superheated, infalling material may have fuelled very energetic black holes called quasars. Even today, the topmost galaxy in the group – NGC 7319 – harbours an active galactic universe, a supermassive black hole 24 million times the mass of the Sun. It is actively pulling in material and puts out light energy equivalent to 40 billion Suns. In NGC 7320, the leftmost and closest galaxy in the visual grouping, Webb was able to resolve individual stars and even the galaxy’s bright core.  it will help scientists understand the rate at which supermassive black holes feed and grow. Webb also sees star-forming regions much more directly, and it is able to examine emission from the dust – a level of detail impossible to obtain until now.
4. SOUTHERN RING NEBULA
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Two cameras aboard Webb captured the latest image of this planetary nebula, catalogued as NGC 3132, and known informally as the Southern Ring Nebula. It is approximately 2,500 light-years away. The dimmer star at the centre of this scene has been sending out rings of gas and dust for thousands of years in all directions, and NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope has revealed for the first time that this star is cloaked in dust. This observation shows the Southern Ring Nebula almost face-on, but if we could rotate it to view it edge-on, its three-dimensional shape would more clearly look like two bowls placed together at the bottom, opening away from one another with a large hole at the center.
Two stars, which are locked in a tight orbit, shape the local landscape. Webb's infrared images feature new details in this complex system. The stars – and their layers of light – are prominent in the image from Webb’s NIRCam on the left, while the image from Webb’s MIRI on the right shows for the first time that the second star is surrounded by dust. The brighter star is in an earlier stage of its stellar evolution and will probably eject its own planetary nebula in the future.
In the meantime, the brighter star influences the nebula’s appearance. As the pair continues to orbit one another, they “stir the pot” of gas and dust, causing asymmetrical patterns.
Each shell represents an episode where the fainter star lost some of its mass. The widest shells of gas toward the outer areas of the image were ejected earlier. Those closest to the star are the most recent. Tracing these ejections allows researchers to look into the history of the system.
As the star ejects shells of material, dust and molecules form within them – changing the landscape even as the star continues to expel material. This dust will eventually enrich the areas around it, expanding into what’s known as the interstellar medium. And since it’s very long-lived, the dust may end up traveling through space for billions of years and become incorporated into a new star or planet.
5. CARINA NEBULA
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This landscape of “mountains” and “valleys” speckled with glittering stars is actually the edge of a nearby, young, star-forming region called NGC 3324 in the Carina Nebula. Captured in infrared light by NASA’s new James Webb Space Telescope, this image reveals for the first time previously invisible areas of star birth. Called the Cosmic Cliffs, Webb’s seemingly three-dimensional picture looks like craggy mountains on a moonlit evening. In reality, it is the edge of the giant, gaseous cavity within NGC 3324, and the tallest “peaks” in this image are about 7 light-years high. The cavernous area has been carved from the nebula by the intense ultraviolet radiation and stellar winds from extremely massive, hot, young stars located in the center of the bubble, above the area shown in this image.
The blistering, ultraviolet radiation from the young stars is sculpting the nebula’s wall by slowly eroding it away. Dramatic pillars tower above the glowing wall of gas, resisting this radiation. The “steam” that appears to rise from the celestial “mountains” is actually hot, ionized gas and hot dust streaming away from the nebula due to the relentless radiation. Because of Webb’s sensitivity to infrared light, it can peer through cosmic dust to see these objects. Protostellar jets, which emerge clearly in this image, shoot out from some of these young stars. The youngest sources appear as red dots in the dark, dusty region of the cloud. Objects in the earliest, rapid phases of star formation are difficult to capture, but Webb’s extreme sensitivity, spatial resolution, and imaging capability can chronicle these elusive events.
These observations of NGC 3324 will shed light on the process of star formation. Star birth propagates over time, triggered by the expansion of the eroding cavity. As the bright, ionized rim moves into the nebula, it slowly pushes into the gas and dust. If the rim encounters any unstable material, the increased pressure will trigger the material to collapse and form new stars.
BIBLIOGRAPHY:
1. https://www.nasa.gov/webbfirstimages
2.   https://webbtelescope.org/contents/news-releases/2022/news-2022-031
 
3.   https://webbtelescope.org/glossary.html#h3-CK-2572b869-1584-45c0-a18b-0c5ffcf32e57
4.    https://esawebb.org/announcements/ann2207/
5.    https://hubblesite.org/contents/articles/gravitational-lensing
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bitesize-astrology · 2 years
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The Show Must Go On
Friday - July 15, 2022
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The yearly Cancer transit is a time to connect with your emotional system and check in on the status of your feelings. Your feelings are indicators of your internal state of being, and are especially valuable if you are "feeling" one way but "living" another. For example, feeling sad when you appear to be living the "perfect life" is an indicator something is off. To be feeling deep joy even as things around you are chaotic lets you know your internal core is strong.
But when in the high degrees of Cancer as we are now (and will be until July 22) there is a tendency to forego the internal examination and just "indulge" in the feeling. Today, as the Sun in Cancer is in a quincunx with a retrograde Saturn in Aquarius at 23°, it's a reminder to not let that indulgence get you off track. Saturn says "the show must go on."
Poor Saturn. The ringed planet gets chastised for being the dispenser of discipline and management. But without it you would indulge in things because they give you short term happiness but long term misery. So Saturn is the Mother that won't let you eat sugar all day long, or the Father who reminds you to take care of your home and car. It is the parent that gives you time to cry, but let's you know when it's time to wipe your tears and carry on.
This quincunx between the Sun and Saturn at 23° is reminder that the time for indulgence is over, and it's time to carry on. 23° is a Mercury/Gemini ruled degree so your mind is going to have to take the lead on this. And you need to do this for your long-term emotional health, as there is also a quincunx between Venus in Gemini and Pluto in Capricorn at 27°, a Mars/Aries ruled degree. So you've got to get your mind right, and then take action.
Quincunx alignments are always uncomfortable (but not unbearable!), so this isn't an easy, breezy kind of day as I fear many astrologers will describe it. That's because they are caught up in the indulgence of the "feeling" nature of Cancer. So yes, "feel" today ... but in a disciplined and future-focused way.
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suniastrology · 2 years
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Daily astrology update: Tuesday, July 26, 2022
Main astrological events and what to expect…
MERCURY SQUARE MARS
Expect challenges when it comes to communication, technical devices and short trips under this aspect. Aggressive verbal or written communication could be the case as well as impatience to listen to others’ ideas and opinions. Challenges to take rational steps and decisions may also experience. Complications with short trips are likely too.
However, this energy could be a great motivator when it comes to study, learning new things or initiating new project or ideas. The aspect is active for 2 days.
Keep in mind that these are GENERAL ASTROLOGICAL TENDENCIES and how exactly this energy will influence you it’s depending on your personal horoscope, but most definitely you will feel these astrological events in one way or another, especially, in some areas in your life. And remember, that singe astrological event does not represent the whole picture in a personal or on a collective level.
Best wishes
suni astrology
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technologistsinsync · 2 years
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Carbo Dioxide Discovered On Exoplanet By Webb Telescope
Carbon dioxide was found on an extraterrestrial world by the James Webb Space Telescope!
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Image credit: NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI/J. Olmsted
The first definitive proof that carbon dioxide exists in the atmosphere of a planet outside of the solar system was obtained by our James Webb Space Telescope.
The puffy planet, a gas giant 700 light-years from Earth circling a Sun-like star, sheds light on the planet's composition and development.
Based on what is known about the planet right now, this graphic depicts what the exoplanet WASP-39 b would look like.
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As the planet passed in front of the star on July 10, 2022, three distinct wavelengths (or colors) of light from the WASP-39 star system changed in brightness over time, as shown in a sequence of light curves from Webb's Near-Infrared Spectrograph (NIRSpec).
Credits: NASA, ESA, CSA, and L. Hustak are represented in the image; the JWST Transiting Exoplanet Community Early Release Science Team is represented in the science.
The atmosphere of a planet outside of our solar system contains the first conclusive evidence of carbon dioxide in its atmosphere, according to NASA's James Webb Space Telescope.
This observation of a gas giant planet 700 light-years from Earth circling a Sun-like star sheds light on the planet's composition and development.
The discovery, which has been approved for publication in Nature, provides proof that Webb could one day be able to identify and analyze carbon dioxide in the thinner atmospheres of smaller rocky planets.
With a diameter 1.3 times larger than Jupiter and a mass around one-quarter that of Jupiter, WASP-39 b is a hot gas giant.
Its high temperature contributes to some of its excessive puffiness (about 1,600 degrees Fahrenheit or 900 degrees Celsius).
WASP-39 b circles its star extremely closely, just approximately one-eighth the distance between the Sun and Mercury, and completes one round in little over four Earth days, in contrast to the colder, more compact gas giants in our solar system.
A planet transits its host star, or passes in front of it, causing a modest, periodic dimming of the star's brightness that led to the planet's discovery, which was announced in 2011.
The planet's atmosphere contains water vapour, sodium, and potassium, according to earlier studies from observatories like NASA's Hubble and Spitzer satellite telescopes. Carbon dioxide has now been verified to exist on this planet because to Webb's unrivalled infrared sensitivity. filtering the starlight. Researchers may take advantage of transiting planets like WASP-39 b, whose orbits we witness edge-on rather than from above, to study planetary atmospheres.
Some of the starlight is partially covered by the planet during a transit (resulting in the overall darkening), and some is transmitted through the atmosphere of the planet.
On July 10, 2022, Webb's Near-Infrared Spectrograph (NIRSpec) observed the transmission spectra of the hot gas giant exoplanet WASP-39 b and obtained the first definitive proof of carbon dioxide on an extrasolar planet.
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Additionally, this is the first comprehensive exoplanet transmission spectrum yet recorded, spanning wavelengths from 3 to 5.5 microns.
Researchers can identify the precise composition of an atmosphere by analyzing minute variations in brightness of the transmitted light over a variety of wavelengths because various gases absorb distinct combinations of colors.
WASP-39 b is a good target for transmission spectroscopy because of its inflated atmosphere and regular transits.
The first conclusive carbon dioxide detection. For their observations of WASP-39b, the study team employed Webb's Near-Infrared Spectrograph (NIRSpec). The first definitive, in-depth proof of carbon dioxide ever found on an extrasolar planet is shown by a little hill between 4.1 and 4.6 microns in the resultant spectrum of the exoplanet's atmosphere.
"Zafar Rustamkulov, a doctoral student at Johns Hopkins University and a member of the JWST Transiting Exoplanet Community Early Release Science team, who carried out this analysis, stated, "As soon as the data arrived on my screen, the huge carbon dioxide feature grabbed me. Crossing a crucial milestone in the study of exoplanets was a remarkable event.
No observatory has previously recorded such minute variations in brightness of so many different colors in an exoplanet transmission spectrum between the wavelengths of 3 and 5.5 microns.
For determining the abundances of gases like water and methane as well as carbon dioxide, which are believed to exist in a variety of exoplanet types, access to this section of the spectrum is essential.
Leading the research is Natalie Batalha of the University of California at Santa Cruz. "Detecting such a clear signal of carbon dioxide on WASP-39 b bodes well for the identification of atmospheres on smaller, terrestrial-sized planets," she stated.
It is crucial to comprehend a planet's atmosphere because it contains information about the planet's formation and evolution.
According to Mike Line of Arizona State University, another part of the study team, "Carbon dioxide molecules are sensitive tracers of the tale of planet creation."
We can tell how much solid and how much gaseous material was utilized to construct this gas giant planet by studying this carbon dioxide characteristic. JWST will do this measurement for a number of planets over the next ten years, shedding light on the specifics of planet formation and the peculiarities of our own solar system.
This NIRSpec prism observation of WASP-39 b is just a small portion of a broader inquiry that also includes observations of two additional transiting planets and studies of the planet utilising other Webb equipment.
The inquiry, which is a component of the Early Release Science initiative, was created with the goal of giving the Webb data to the exoplanet research community as soon as feasible.
According to co-investigator Vivien Parmentier from Oxford University, "the objective is to assess the Early Release Research findings fast and build open-source tools for the science community to utilize."
This allows for contributions from all across the globe and guarantees that the next decades of observations will provide the greatest research possible.
The paper's co-author from NASA's Ames Research Center, Natasha Batalha, adds, "Our Early Release Science effort is based on NASA's open science guiding principles, promoting an inclusive, transparent, and collaborative scientific process."
~ Jai Krishna Ponnappan
Find Jai on Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram
Further Reading:
NASA’s Webb Detects Carbon Dioxide in Exoplanet Atmosphere
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mercury in cancer • july 5, 2022 - july 19, 2022
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mercury is the planet of communication, intellect, and cognitive function. when placed in the sign of cancer, our mental focus is being turned inward - focusing on matters of the home, our family, our ancestors, and who we've always been on a cosmic level. cancer energy is very nurturing, allowing us to use this transit as a time to learn how to communicate directly without aggression. this also is a time to prioritize our mental health, especially during an emotionally charged season like cancer season.
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how to alchemize with mercury in cancer:
connect with your ancestors through meditation
keep your lifestyle simple. filter out everything that is bringing chaos to your life.
journal prompt: what keeps your innerg stuck in the past?
process emotional trauma through solitude
journal prompt: what are you still holding resentment about when it comes to your mother?
there's medicine to receive from learning something new
hold yourself accountable for your shortcomings of reacting instead of responding out of emotional imbalance
utilize this time a gestation period before birthing something nu in leo season
keep it real with yourself as you enter the void - don't fall into the rose-tinted glasses rabbit hole
spend some time in your imagination
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eelhound · 2 years
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"In February 2021, following Winter Storm Uri, Texas devolved into a predictable culture war over what had caused the state’s massive power outages. Conservatives blamed wind and solar for their purported unreliability. Liberals noted that it was natural gas pipelines that froze over. But neither got at the root of the problem.
While it’s true that the crisis in natural gas supply broke the state’s energy system, this failure was caused by a privatized model that puts profit over basic functionality. While many pipelines froze because they had not been properly weatherized, the ones that functioned raked in millions of dollars and the ones that froze were soon back up and running, resulting in a small loss in revenue for a few days.
It wasn’t the stupidity of pipeline owners that made them decide against weatherizing their pipelines, but instead their desire to make a buck. And the consequences were dire: millions of Texans were left without power, and hundreds died. Energy investors, meanwhile, raked in millions.
Despite public anger — millions of Texans faced unpayable electric bills in the wake of the storm — the state’s politicians have little interest in doing much about it. In fact, Governor Greg Abbott has been promoting Bitcoin mining — an environmentally wasteful and socially useless endeavor — as a solution to Texas’s beleaguered grid.
In the absence of political action, what are we left with? Individualism. In wealthy neighborhoods, homeowners are having household batteries and solar installed, almost always by nonunion labor. While no one can blame a person for wanting to ensure their lights don’t go out the next time the state faces an energy crisis, this is exactly the kind of personal solution to a collective problem that excludes poor and working-class people. It’s localized, boutique green power for the rich — and dirty, failing public power for the rest of us.
This model for building green power also relies heavily on tax credits, pulling money out of public coffers and directing them to capitalists...
Texas is offering a glimpse of our future — and it’s a dystopian mess. From entrenched fossil-fuel companies exploiting workers, polluting the planet, and leaving the public with the cleanup bill to a rising green capitalist class whose financial interests are opposed to large-scale publicly controlled power, it’s clear there will be change, but not the change that is needed.
It’s not enough to just 'do something' about climate change. As states like Texas increase their wind and solar capacity, we must ensure these jobs are unionized. We must support large-scale public power and a labor-led transition away from fossil fuels. We must oppose pushes by the wealthy to make powering one’s home an individualistic, market-based operation. And above all, we must target head-on, with a class-based politics, the private power that not only fails us but profits from that failure.
Climate change shouldn’t be a culture war issue. It should be about making sure everyone has the ability to live a safe and dignified life."
- David Griscom, from "Texas Shows the Pitfalls of Liberal Climate Politics." Jacobin, 7 July 2022.
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astr0-st0ner · 2 years
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Transits : Mars In the 8th House
I can't promise this will be the beginning of a series of posts, but hey, journaling through one particular planet as it transits through your life seems like a good idea.
Things have been weird lately. I don't remember when but I went from being completely drenched in astrology studies and reading through thousands of astrology related tweets a day, to having very little interest in the topic at all.
I've had that inner excitability that feels like I'm... a piece of flint. Everything is rubbing up against me and lighting me on fire, but not in a good way-- in fact I am feeling ANGER, an emotion I am absolutely terrible at coping with.
Cope. C o p e. I read something today that said "don't cope the same way you celebrate".
What am I coping with right now?
this month (July 2022) marks 10 years since a major, life-altering trauma... one that I don't think will ever be fully healed. A lot of thoughts are just coming up despite trying to not give it any sustained attention. The body really does remember.
a few weeks ago, my mom started having a major health issue. She has a heart defect that was never symptomatic but suddenly she's having scary episodes where her chest gets tight and painful, she feels like there's something stuck inside her neck, she can't speak or walk, but it goes away after a few minutes. She can't be seen by a cardiologist for several more months, and when she did go to the emergency room, they ran an EKG and echocardiogram, her vitals, two rounds of blood work, and somehow found NO irregularities. Which sounds like bullshit to me. She has an existing leaky valve condition and every doctor she goes to mentions that she has an abnormal heart murmur. She has a leaky valve. How is it that this emergency department didn't pick up even health issues she knows she has. UGH! Just writing about this is making me angry! She's been bumped up to 10 hour work days at the Post Office and taking time off isn't something she sees as an option. So yeah, I feel like every day could be the day someone at work finds her unresponsive in the bathroom or something. I don't really feel like she's going to die, but more like something is about to happen that is going to change everything in her life.
Which then makes me start thinking about my own physical stability. When my presence here begins to become a real burden on my parents in any way, I feel like I need to get out of here. Then I start spiraling. I literally don't know how I'm going to pick myself up and get into my own place, being on disability and not having had a job for the last 10 years because of it. Right now, I can't seem to save a penny. Again this month I completely ran out of money 7 days before pay day. EVERYTHING in my life needs restructured. My partner, even though we've been together for 9 years, is nowhere near wanting to officially share an address with me. I can't count on him to help me do anything, honestly. Sometimes he is extremely helpful and generous and kind but more often than not he is just impatient to hear about my problems and responds to all of them by yelling at me and putting me down for my past failures.
the money thing. 6 more days of $0.
My partner is expecting me to save a few hundred dollars so we can go to the Cape in September. I just want to cry thinking about it.
I'm having those dreams that I can't really remember I keep waking up feeling emotionally battered from them...
But here are some less bad things, just because posting a completely negative list is against my beliefs :)
I was getting concerned that my sexuality was rapidly disappearing. We were falling into a rut of almost being afraid to touch eachother, which I feel like we partially broke through recently. I guess I have been able to respond to what I know he really wants and needs a little better lately.
I am doing really good in physical therapy. Doing more exercise at home, which seems to be making a difference. I still can't really feel parts of my leg and foot, but there have been a few times in PT doing some major traction (having him yank my leg out of socket basically) where feeling floods back for a minute or two.
Now that I think about it, I was having a really scary IBS flare like a month ago that actually ended and I'm not feeling like nearly as bad as I was.
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