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norrizzandpia · 1 month

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i think this would suit lando but you being down and lando comes over later at night and takes you the park like two little kids, i can just imagine lando being a big kid at the park lmao

I’m going to need someone to love me like the fictional lando i write abt 24/7

We Can Be Kids For Right Now (LN4)

Summary: When her week has tried to suffocate her, Lando turns up at her door and forces her to remember just how worthy she truly is.

Warnings: mentions of heavy anxiety attacks, anxiety in general, language

Note: a draft bc im wrecked rn from this trip im on im so tried lol… I hate that I have to start saying this but I do not condone the reposting of my work without proper crediting or permission. If you wish to post my works elsewhere, it needs to be ran by me first by messages over Tumblr. If found that you have taken my works without my knowledge, I will report you and get my posts taken down from your blog.

Y/n never truly realized she did it until Lando, but when the man started to get close to her, he brought it to her attention that she so easily isolated herself when she started struggling. Even the smallest inconvenience and she shut down, something that irritated the hell out of Lando. Nevertheless, he loved her and the way she dealt with her emotions was something he knew she just needed to work on.

However, the problem they couldn’t get past was her ability to tell him when she was struggling. There were only so many times when he could see it written all over her face.

His comments urging her to open up to him when she was having a hard time dealing with it on her own bounced around in her head as she clutched her phone in her hands, his contact picture brightening her screen. His smile beamed back at her, almost coaxing her into tapping the call button, but her thumb hesitated. It wasn’t that she was afraid of telling him, it was that she was uncomfortable with her own emotions. Uncomfortable of leaning into them. Growing up, she was never given that ability, her parents not having the full capacity to address them head on. She never thought it truly affected her until Lando. She started realizing that he never gave her a problem to be scared, but she still was.

Her thumb had a mind of its own, though. Thankfully. And the ringing tone met her ears before she could even know what was happening. His picking up happened before she could even begin to think about hanging up the phone.

“Baby!” His cheery voice rang through the quiet room and warmed her tender heart. “What’s up? Why are you up so late? Do you want a sweet treat again?” He giggled, his TV pausing in the background.

She was silent. Her mind raced as she tried to make the split second decision of telling him or not. Though, in her silence, he began formulating an answer.

“Y/n…” He whispered, blankets rustling as she imagined him sitting up on his couch.

“Lan,” She said brokenly, albeit with an effort of trying to sound strong.

Keys rustling and his rushed, “I’m on my way, baby,” were her response.

—

Lando knew where the spare key was. It was one of the first things he asked the location of after they first said I love you. Y/n would always laugh at that memory. What she was expecting after the three words were shared was a small kiss or a hug maybe, but no, he had asked her where her spare key was. When she showed him and he very clearly took a mental note of it, she asked him what was so important about it.

“I’m your boyfriend and we’re in love. I should know where the spare key is, baby.” He had said to her so nonchalantly, as if it was societally normal to have that thought process. She just shook her head at him and took the kiss she wanted for herself. He wasn’t going to do it anyway, too entranced in the image of her spare key under her doormat. He was shenanigans bundled into one person. She loved it.

His rapping on the door pulled her from her memories. She drudged over, taking a deep breath before opening the door. He stood there in his pajamas, puffer coat thrown over haphazardly, and stared at her sympathetically. He shuffled in, arm rounding around her shoulders as he kissed her head, “Hard day?”

She sighed, “Hard week.”

He led her to the couch. The layout of her apartment was memorized in his head. “What happened?”

“I just-” She picked at her fingernails and the anxiety she usually felt when Lando asked about her worries began bubbling up. Maybe it was growth, but she thought he’s already here, isn’t he? Might as well lean on him.

So, she did. Literally and figuratively.

Lando squeezed her body as her side laid on his and she started reliving the low moments of the past few days. “Everything has gone wrong this week. I just can’t seem to win and I can’t make anyone happy.”

Tears filled her eyes and a frown appeared on her face. She cried into his shoulder when he pushed her body further into it.

Lando sat with her for a moment, rubbing her back. “That’s not true, Y/n. You make a lot of people happy. You make me really happy.”

For some reason, his comment shot fear through her body and she pulled from him. Her eyes looked anywhere other than his and the irrational idea of an expectation Lando had set for her that she did not believe in herself to meet took control of whatever plan she had to open up to him.

Lando saw it in her eyes, how distant they got. He knew this was bound to happen. It had been too easy. She had opened up to him without that much restraint and he expected a moment to come where her walls rebuilt themselves.

He just wanted her to let him in.

His hands took her face, “You deserve me. You will not let me down. You could never let me down.” He said, knowing exactly what was running through her mind.

“Y/n, look at me.” He tilted his head to meet her eyes and forced her to keep his stare, “I love you. That will never change.”

She cried harder, “I can’t even open up to you, Lan. I’m not even a good employee at a job I’m overqualified for. Yesterday, I handed in that presentation to my boss that I had been working on for weeks and when I presented it to the board of all fucking people, there was a grammatical error on one of the slides. I had confused ‘your’ and ‘you are’, Lan. It was embarrassing. They laughed and joked about it after. I can’t even fucking do my job. And I upset my mum on Wednesday. I hung up on her during an argument and now she isn’t talking to me. I’m being condemned, Lan. I can’t fucking breathe. My dad’s texting me, telling me how disrespectful I had been, but nobody hears about the parts where she called me an irresponsible adult and ridiculed me for taking a job that didn’t make me that much. Nobody wants to hear my side of the story, the part where she was so grossly unsupportive. Then, I had to cancel on Cameron on Tuesday again because I’m so fucking tired and so fucking busy. She got mad at me and now we’re in this fight because I’ve neglected our friendship. I’m a shit friend, a shit daughter, a shit worker, and it’s so obvious I’m a shit girlfriend. I can’t fucking do anything right.”

By the end of her rant, she was breathless and Lando could see she was talking herself into an anxiety attack. Her hurtful words toward herself needed to be dealt with, but he needed to stop the panic seeping into her skin.

He took her hand and kissed her head, “Come with me, my love.”

She kept crying as he led her to his car, his arm wrapped around her body securely as he whispered words of reassurance in her ear. He reminded her of how strong she was, of how much he loved her and admired her for everything she was. How wrong she was about everything she had convinced herself of.

When he softly laid her in the passenger seat, he kneeled down and kissed her shoulder, brushing her hair off the skin lightly. He looked up at her with deep green eyes filled with safety, “Don’t listen to your mind right now, baby. It’s only telling you lies.”

He lightly closed the door, running around the car to slip into the driver’s seat. When he turned the engine on, his hand settled on her thigh and began rubbing softly. He backed down and drove down the road, toward a small park at the end of her street. It was quick, maybe a minute or two, and Y/n was still crying when they parked, but it subsided momentarily when she saw where they were.

“Why are we at the park?” Lando grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles.

He laid his cheek down on the back of her palm, murmuring, “Because it’ll be fun to be kids for right now. Not have to think about what you’re going through. We can address that later.”

A sigh of relief left her chest. The moment he had given her an opportunity to run away from it all, even for a few minutes, she almost began to feel as though she would find peace.

He always knew exactly what to do.

She gathered herself, wiping away the tears and smoothing down her hair as Lando walked back to her door, opening it and offering his hand as help for her to get out of the car. She took it. She always would. The cold air hit her body and she shivered. Lando was immediate in offering her his coat.

She shook her head, “No, I’m okay for right now.” She was just now realizing how she hadn’t gone outside in days. The cold air made her feel alive again.

Lando’s hand continued to clutch hers as they took steps toward the large structure. When she let go of his, he tensed, but he relaxed when he saw her wandering over to the slides.

She climbed up the ladder, him following behind, and found herself sat in the entryway of the whirling slide.

“Wait, wait!” Lando yelped before she could push herself down. Her head whipped around to meet his eyes.

She smiled and her body warmed when his found a seat behind her, his body consuming her and his hands wrapping around the low point of her waist. His ear right beside her ear, he kissed the top of the skin, “Now, you can go. We can go down faster, no? Seeing as I go fast for a living.”

His questionable logic made her laugh before he was pushing them off and the two were turning fast around the corner of the yellow tube. Her giggling ensued with the way he jostled them around on purpose to make the slide more exhilarating for two twenty-four year olds. And in the heat of the moment, seeing her hair float in the air and a carefree smile on her face, Lando wished she could see herself the way he did. She was superb, unbelievable. She held the strength and courage of someone so commendable. She was kind even when she had seen things and experienced trauma so young that should’ve, understandably so, made her bitter. She was merciful even when she shouldn’t be and she loved Lando in a way he had only ever dreamed of. The way she treated him, the gentleness she approached him with, was something he knew he could never let go of. She was beautiful in so many other ways than just her appearance. She was deeply beautiful and he wished she could just understand that.

When they reached the end, their bodies stopping abruptly right at the edge, Y/n laid her head back against his shoulder. He kissed her temple, “Fun?”

She nodded with a smile, “Somehow, you did make it faster.”

He shot her a look, as if to question why she didn’t believe him in the first place. He pushed her off him, sprinting to the swings and screaming for her to follow him.

“Lando! Be quiet! You’ll wake up the entire neighborhood!” She whisper-yelled at him, laughing as she ran after him.

He threw himself in the seat and began swinging his legs, no doubt gaining momentum but beckoning her over for help nonetheless.

She stood behind him, bracing herself firmly on the ground as she pushed his heavy body up off the ground. When he would meet her back on the ground, he’d lean back so his back would almost come crashing into her front. It made her laugh.

“Lando!” He couldn’t see her, but he knew how radiant she must’ve been looking. Even in his head, he continued to fall in love with her.

She kept pushing him until her arms got tired and she flopped away from him, onto the ground, in a heap of heavy breaths. When he didn’t feel her small hands on his back anymore, he jumped off the swing and joined her on the ground.

It didn’t matter how cold it was or how dirty it inevitably was, they were together and Y/n’s smile lingered on her pretty face.

Lando’s hand laced with hers in between their bodies as he softly whispered, “You’re not a shit daughter, your parents don’t know what they have and they’re too emotionally immature to realize that. You’re not a shit friend, Cameron knows that, you’re just struggling and that’s okay. You’re not a shit worker, you’re actually heavily valuable to your boss and the people around you. They’ve all told you that. And Y/n, look at me,” She turned her head to meet his meaningful ones, “You are not a shit girlfriend. You are the complete opposite. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and could ever ask for. You have no idea how in love with you I am. It’s even hard for me to understand sometimes. There is no one I have ever loved, love, or will love more than you. You are the most important thing to me, so please stop talking about yourself in this way and believing in something that has never been true.”

Everything about the moment is gentle. From the way his thumb caressed her skin to the enunciation of every word that came from his mouth, he made it clear how much love prospers for her within him every day and every minute.

She turned on her side and took his cheek in her hand, “Thank you for helping me, Lan.”

His hand squeezed her waist, “Of course, my love. You’re my favorite.”

She felt her heart blush, if that’s even possible. Maybe her face was the one blushing? She didn’t know. The way Lando looked at her as if she started life itself made her mind feel fuzzy.

Fuzzy enough to realize he was right. She wasn’t a failure or a horrible person. She was a human who made mistakes and many people loved her in spite of it. Lando being one of them.

He loved her in a way she had always craved. She both needed and wanted him. So did he. They were the beginning and end of everything for the other. It showed well that night as they held each other on the concrete of that park. It showed well because, at one am on a random Saturday, Lando had dropped everything he has doing the moment he heard the anguish in her voice. It showed well because Lando’s clear words made Y/n realize he wanted her and no one else. There was no one else like her, no one to ever replace her. Not that he would ever want that anyway. She was completely unique in the most precious way and maybe… just maybe… she was beginning to realize that too.

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lains-reality · 10 months

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nondualism and "manifestation"

okay so there was an anon question abt manifesting. i'll answer with this post. i barely proof read this so tell me if theres an error. if you need more (you don't) then there are relevent links at the end.

anon: Ima here with a question :) Suppose I'm manifesting my desired clothes , so I just be aware/know that I already have them in my closet ? And Whenever I think that nope it's not true they aren't there …I JUST USE MY IMAGINATION, SEE A PICTURE OF THOSE CLOTHES AND AGAIN BECOME AWARE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE THEM ? Basically when I found myself thinking about them I just shift my awareness to that I have them ! is this all I have to do ? And what if I feel euphoric 🤧 knowing that I already those clothes in my closet ? Is it oky ig it should be bc feeling has nothing to do with it !? RIGHT ?

I'll ask these questions first: do you want the desire or to be free? could you let go of trying to get happiness from this item and sit in the happiness you are?

you don't use your imagination. you ARE imagination. you're living in your imagination.

you don't have to identify with those thoughts telling you, you don't have the clothes

you've asked this question to another blogger, so you're spamming, searching for an answer? not gonna get you anywhere .. also have u even read my posts?

are you the person that sent this? nondualism IS NOT A METHOD

first of all, i want to you to remove every information, believing that it's real, your brain, spiraling, wavering, blockages, the universe giving you what you want, someone outside of you, the 3d, the 4d, behind the scenes, the 3d mirroring you, saturating your brain, etc ... [choroukgod]

there's no manifesting.

you are not the manifestor. you are not the doer. i mean it as the character, anon, doesn't do anything. Self does. Self can also be called awareness or consciousness. for Self, all exists. its like a comb, there's the handle and then all the teeth. Self is the handle, you anon, are one of the teeth. you are Self imagining being a human with desires.

i'll give you a snippet of a draft post i made:

"they wanted to be the doer. the character doesn't do. it's not You, it's just a habit. when you know you are Self, then everything is harmonious and effortless. the Self does, it is under all the imaginary character - if the character isn't real, then it doesn't do, the Self does."

since you are Self, this means you are beyond time and space, body and mind. they're not real. only the character/mind thinks its real, it'll chat forever about how you need to do this and that.

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it's a collection of thoughts, feelings and memories that you've collected and turned into a habit. it's a habit to go back to the memories as a reference point. its a habit to identify with thoughts that come into your awareness. when you stop the habit and don't identify as the character, it goes away.

abt the body: well when you dream, you might still think. you feel the body and all, all the sensations. it feels real enough. then you wake up. you didn't take the physical body into the dream did you? you just felt the sensation of having one. doesn't this mean it's a bunch of sensations, just like a thought in the mind is?

also the mind can affect the body (e.g. nervous feeling -> sweaty palms). the thought or feeling rising into awareness, the mind takes note and ownership "i'm nervous, my hands are sweaty", affecting the body. if the unreal mind can affect something, then is that thing also not unreal?

(try to observe the thoughts or feelings next time without attaching a story to it or resisting it. see whether it goes away quicker. being able to accept the present moment is essential for this)

extra note - you as Self is also imagining the concepts of manifesting and shifting (and all the concepts related e.g. states, 3d, persisting etc).

thinking they the reason why you can get what you want IS FALSE. THOSE ARE YOUR OWN CREATIONS, ARE YOU GOING TO CREATE SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR OWN CREATIONS? [choroukgod]

What is there to be saved from except illusions? And what are all illusions except false ideas about myself? My holiness undoes them all by asserting the truth about me. - acim workbook

so, you know now the reality of who you are and not to identify with the imaginary, lets talk about the desire.

desires are born out of not knowing who you are. if you think you're the body-mind then several hundred concepts are needed to be taken into account to just live.

another snippet

"all these memories, feelings, thoughts and subsequent stories create desires and fears. the mind will try and protect itself and plan for stuff, but it can't. because it's so limited in knowledge & power."

the character wants the desire because of the story it has, the feeling. usually of happiness, love, joy. what you don't know is that that's your standard way of being. so you search everywhere.

the characters main motivation is to find the truth and happiness, underneath the searching is the belief 'i am not okay' or 'i am not enough', which leads to several needs & fears but importantly, need of control, especially of the future. it refuses to sit in the present moment.

desire is completely fine actually, its the attachments to it that make it hurtful. when you don't understand that desire is just another passing sensation, you, as the character, think you NEED it and will not stop until you get it, or you suffer.

you think that theres a world to control. you think that its outside of you. you think that there is a physical world. you're missing the most important info of all: all is Self. all is consciousness. all is awareness. whatever you wanna say. all is you, theres nothing to manipulate now. theres nothing to force now. its all unreal. you as Self, are imagining to be a human with desires that now has to change stuff that they think is real! how exhusting! you don't even need to change yourSelf, Self is perfect!

there's nothing to do.

Self is all. Self is whole. Self is perfect. Self is who you actually are.

there's no transition to Self. you already are that. it's letting go of all the concepts of limitations that is a transition. - i don't remember who said this, maybe lester levenson?

manifesting is not the point. the point is to be free! it's to recognise your true self! not just to feel better or okay .. to BE freedom, to BE peace, love etc. do you want to keep going into imagination to fufilll yourself all the time? you don't have to if you understand that you are fulfillment, you are whole already.

the "world" changing can't sway you because you are complete as you are, when you manifest with the intention to fulfil the desire so you 'physically' get it - you're only gonna feel full when you get the thing .. and then it goes. things cannot fulfil you. what would happen if the clothes get shredded by a dog? your happiness goes. why? why would you place your happiness on a thing that is FINITE?

being in the present moment is best. its literally the only way you live. you can't see into the past or future, there is only now.

The best place to grow is right where you are. The best time is now.

when you're worrying abt the future, you're thinking more. when you're worrying abt the past, more thoughts. in the present moment, you slow down and see what is in front of you now.

when you get caught up in the mind, you can stop yourself halfway (or even after it happens) and go "oh the mind was doing ...", then you start to pick up how much your mind wanders back or forwards. you start to pick up how limiting the thoughts are when you remind yourself that you are not the body or mind. with the understanding that the mind is imaginary -> no need to listen or identify with what's happening. it just is. feelings or emotions that come up into awareness cannot do anything. you are never disconnected from Self.

'oh i want to go [x] but i have to buy a plane ticket and get this and that...' -> if you are not the body-mind you don't have to worry about physically travelling anywhere, you are beyond time and space naturally. you don't have to prepare anything either, the mind wants to plan, but Self is harmonious and all, so whatever you 'need' will come to you. lester actually did this once.

"With full confidence that “everything is A-okay and taken care of,” I packed a bag and walked out of the house."

when you catch yourself in the moment: release and disidentify. you can just disidentify with it immediatly if you want to.

to release a belief or emotion (probs also desires) (sedona method):

welcome the feeling. it doesn’t have to be strong. it is what it is. ask yourself: Could I let it go? Would I let it go? When? then, remembering that you are not the body-mind, answer. deep breath in and out, let relief come if you feel it. read the link for more.

when you ask yourself, “Could I let this feeling go?”, remind yourself that you can let any emotion go, like dropping an object. when you ask yourself, “Would you let the feeling go?”, consider whether you would you rather hold on to pain, stress, and suffering, or, would you rather be free? when you ask yourself, “When?”, what you’re doing is creating an invitation to do it now

it can take some courage depending on the emotion, the character'll want to run away. but sit in the present moment and observe the feelings. ignoring and suppresing is not healthy. the focus is to keep releasing the feeling when it comes up. you can also coax the feelings up yourself.

to disidentify: well, just don't identify with it. just go "oh that's a thought". maybe remember your Self. maybe say 'on this path i constantly give up trouble' and move on. a simple knowing that that is not You, is enough.

surrender. i used to be scared of surrender bcs i thought it'd mean i have to let go of control and i'd get nothing! or just the same thing or worse! i was scared, i as the character was in full force. then some days past and i calm down (and lowkey give up), then i get some experience where it feels like i'm saying 'yes you ARE your true Self, its natural!!' to myself. something happens w/ 0 effort and i'm never suprised tbh (i used to be), it only grows my faith in mySelf. i promise you when you go 'f it idk whats gonna happen, it'll be fine' it'll be okay. but first you need to understand who you are. you trust your Self and just release the stories that tell you you aren't, that you are stuck, that you haven't got it, that you aren't fulfilled etc.

let me rephrase that bcs ppl saying "just believe!" used to piss me off: surrender it all. just stop. on this path you constantly give up trouble. you give up entertaining thoughts that make you feel bad. stop getting annoyed at yourself. stop beating yourself up. stop trying. just let yourself relax. if you want to do something, do it so you can feel better rather than to fix, manipulate, control etc.

all this arguing takes effort. it takes energy to not surrender. its hard to be something you are not. all the effort is being put into being an ego or to resist being it. you're squashing god into a small box and going 'why won't i fit?!' - lester levenson (modified)

Self is perfection, you are not surrendering to get worse, you are surrendering to perfection. Absolute Perfection. your mind only knows like 20 years (less or more!) of experience, in only one way of being. to your Self, there is all.

if theres anything to "do" its recognising stories of limitation and releasing/disidentifying as them.

(although surrendering is put last here. it is actually the first step. it might even be the only step)

self inquiry pointers (do not skip)

could i let go of wanting to get happiness from [insert item] and allow myself to rest as the happiness i am? can i turn [desire] into a desire for freedom? would i rather have the desire or would i rather be free? am i longing for the desire or to get out of pain? can i let go of wanting to change this and let it be as it is? could i let go of [belief]? would i rather believe in [the belief] or know the truth? would i rather believe in [the belief] or be the truth? am i arguing for my limitations?

letting go of ego | haven't read yet, but the skim looked good.

detachment | edwardart

what is the main difference between the now and old? | nisargadatta

go all the way, not just tolerate and endure | lester levenson

the true you | 4dbarbie

self surrender | edwardart

things come to die | heavenlythea (use of the word 3d, but still great post)

manifesting is struggling, life is effortless | 4dbarbie

how did i get something random? | 4dbarbie

attachments | 4dbarbie

some pics to read

after thoughts

i talk abt a method after my you don't need a method post lol, but that method is actually completely for the mind, says it upront and isn't just used for manifesting. in the end you'll stop using this too

could this be a guide to recognising your greatness? maybe?

let go of the insane amounts of responsibility, pressure, and personal attachment you've put on yourself.

#lainsmail #lainsreality #nondualism #nonduality #manifestation #spirituality #do not tag this as any law i will hide in ur walls #self inquiry

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lueurjun · 2 months

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ENHA REACTION ⋆̩ s/o that loves the gym

. ˚◞☁️ ✧˖🤍࿐ྂ

🖇·˚ ༘┊ 𝐑𝐄𝐐 . anon ,, hello !! i was wondering if i could request a enhypen with gym rat s/o? i took my friends to the gym w me (they wanna beef up, their words exactly) and they were genuinely shocked when i got on some of the machines to demonstrate for them😭😭

˚ ༘💭 ·˚ message from lueurjun . . . hi sweet ! i really hope this was okay for you — this is just hyung line [ refer to my pinned post as to why ] so i hope you’re okay with this. also ! teach me your ways ! we love a talented gym icon like yourself—ps. i’m sorry for how long this took, i was caught with a serious case of writers block and just couldn’t seem to like any of the drafts i did.

★ ! H E E S E U N G

FLABBERGASTED

jaw on the ground

literally unable to look away

me when i see u fr 🫨

a cute gym date where you’d work out together turned into him literally gawking at you

bro fr said🧍‍♂️

he knew you were consistent at the gym, the results were right before his eyes whenever he saw you

but he wasn’t aware of how effortless it was for you

yo he lowkey high-key loved it

let’s be honest, he spends the majority of the session just watching you

he’d still be on his first machine by the time you’re almost done

gym people have my full respect, i start seeing stars after my ten min pilaties work out

once the first wave of shock had washed off, it’s replaced with something else

a feeling in the pit of his stomach which has him seeing you in a different light

mind out of the gutter you filthy animal

he’d never been more attracted to you than when he saw you tearing it up on those machines

the way you can tell i’ve never stepped foot inside a gym before-

“are you good?��

you’d ask him, taking a moment to catch your breath

there’s slight concern creeping up your spine as you watch him

he’s just standing with his mouth half open

you: 🏋️‍♀️/🏋️ him:🧍‍♂️🫠

“me? yeah! perfectly fine”

there’s literally drool sliding down his chin and his voice is at least an octave higher

despite his obvious amazing acting skills when it comes to acting like he wasn’t about to combust

you do notice that he becomes quite clingy during your break

imagine him wrapping himself around you like a koala whilst you stand and just drink your water, holding up his weight like it’s no big deal 💪

once his clinging streak starts

yeah that break signals the end of your workout because he is not letting you go

like at all

you practically have to carry him out of the gym

that should be me 😤 you should be carrying me

★ ! J A Y

i see him being slightly competitive with you

but in a sweet romantic way

it would be your little thing!

bashing my head against a wall bc competitive romance 🫶

he was a little worried he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you at first

because you’re a warrior on those machines

but he actually manages just fine which is how it turned into a competition between you both

“bet you can’t do 6 sets”

“bet.”

if i got the terminology correct i want a cookie and your hand in marriage STAT if not then at least still give me a cookie

gym couple goals

jay definitely posts those pinterest aesthetic gym selfies with you

in my world he is a pinterest addict LET ME HAVE THIS

the two of you would definitely go viral on pinterest too

sometimes the other members tag along and just have to sit and watch the two of you threaten to bash each other with weights

they pretend to vomit when he kisses you after threatening to push one of the machines on top of you

that’s so romantic to me shut up

you both try to outrun each other on the treadmill

and you pretend not to notice him slowing down so you can win

you’d probs beat him even if he didn’t but we’ll let him have his moment

dabbing each others sweat away which turns into the two of you hitting each other with the towel

him holding your water bottle up to your lips and just holding it whilst you drink it

me in the back laying on the treadmill just letting it fling me off because you’re the cutest

without a doubt gym dates are your thing

and dare you say, your favourite dates of all time

★ ! J A K E

without a doubt he buys you matching gym gear

a lot like heeseung in the sense that he will spend the majority of the time just gawking at you

finds you the absolute hottest when you’re in the zone, he cannot cope

you’d be having him hyperventilating fr

supportive supportive supportive!!!

did i mention supportive?

he’s the type to stand behind you and pat your thigh, offering words of encouragement when he senses that you’re tired

“you got it! you got this! one more.”

didn’t think that through before i typed it- 😬

“i might die.”

“i’ll carry you home, you got this.”

he does in fact carry you home

likes having you in front of him when he’s doing his own work out

he claims your face gives him encouragement and who are you to deny him as such?

supportive lovers 🫶 iwillbestargazingintheroadtonight

definitely makes you lay beneath him whilst he does press-ups, making sure to kiss you every single time

does the same when you’re doing press-ups

basically press-ups = kiss central

and i personally find that rather romantic 😌

jake is the proudest boyfriend ever

loves seeing your progress and listening to you talk about it

if you’re the type to log down your workouts and meal plan then he likes to sit and read through it and will put smiley face stickers in the corner of each page

jake has a collection of stickers stashed somewhere because i said so

the gentleman he is will move the equipment after you’re done so you can get straight onto the next one

he doesn’t even work out at this point he just spends his time doting on you

celebratory ( and sweaty ) hugs once you’re done because you deserve them

★ ! S U N G H O O N

ngl i struggled with this one

i’m running off 0 sleep let me live

i like to think that he admires you from afar

he loves that you love to work out and is super proud of your process in a silent way

i can definitely see him working out with you but separately

like the two of you do your own thing but with the added comfort of knowing that the other is nearby

i’d sit on the sidelines cheering you both on like WOOOO GO SUNGHOON ! WOOO GO Y/N !! WOOOOOO ! like that 😌

sometimes when sunghoon is resting, he’ll admire you whilst taking sips of his water

you definitely make him nervous especially when you catch him watching

smirk at him and he’ll go into cardiac arrest

he’s so real for that

no but genuinely he’s so enamoured by you

enamoured 🤓

the two of you gazing at each other every now and then whilst on one of the machines

he almost dropped a weight on his foot because you winked at him and he lost all feeling in his body

not you almost breaking his foot 😭😭

protective of each other

the gym is your sanctuary so if anyone comes in and tries to ruin that by approaching you in a manner neither of you like

you’re both ready to start throwing weights around

imagine you just launch a dumbbell at someone for eyeing him up HA

forced couple selfies

as in you ask him to take one with you and he pretends like he hates it but makes the photos his lockscreen, his homescreen, his laptop homescreen, his ipad homescreen

basically any homescreen he can find

bro would plaster it on a display tv in a shop if he was allowed

yeah bro definitely hates taking couple selfies, sure sounds like he absolutely despises them 🙄

shy kisses on the cheek when the workout is over as a ‘well done, im proud of you’

gosh let me have what you two have i cannot

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anyalovesu · 4 months

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tolerate it.

pairing: sunghoon x oc (jake x oc & jangkku at some point)

summary: being trapped in an ordeal of a marriage is already as stupid as it sounds. it’s not like eli had the choice to say no and walk away because news flash, that’s never been in any of the options if there were even options at all. it’s always been sucking it up and making something tolerable out of the circumstances that were given to her. but being stuck in a nightmare of a marriage with someone she used to have memorized inside and out is a whole ‘nother realm of hell.

genre: angst ( a lot of it ); forced marriage; forced proximity; childhood besties to enemies to lovers ( maybe ); fluff ( maybe ); a sprinkle of crack; slow burn

content warning: might include suggestive jokes ( idk about nsfw content yet, but yea ) and ( definitely ) a lot of curse words ( mostly in filipino because it has that sparkle )

note: i might be posting this to twt and i'm only posting it here as my drafts lmao so i preferred to change all of their names instead so i'd have no trouble posting it there ( ps. mostly bc im kinda uncomfy to use their actual names when makings aus lol ); this will be filo fic, i am just more comfy writing the narrative parts in english ( as a bobo magdescribe in filipino girlie ) so if you catch the characters using filo memes, conversing and cursing in filipino, you'd know why ! this fic will also feature a lot of other kpop idols from different groups, possibly not depicting characters in a very good and will contain rps so if you're not into that,,, pls hop off... also! pls refrain from associating any of the characters with their faceclaims... it's literally the reason i changed their names hehe yun lungs tnx !

now playing

meet the characters (click here)

chapters

i. i sit and watch you.

ii. i sit and listen.

iii. i notice everything you do or don't do.

iv. lay the table with the fancy shit.

v. when you were out building other worlds, where was i?

vi. use my best colors for your portrait.

vii. if it's all in my head, tell me now.

viii. always taking up too much space or time.

ix. i know my love should be celebrated.

x. i made you my temple, my mural, my sky.

xi. drawing hearts in the byline.

xii. where's that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire?

xiii. all's well that ends well to end up with you.

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faithlesbian · 11 months

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i wrote most of this post ages ago and its been sitting in my drafts forever but since im finally rewatching s7 i thought i should finally post: much as i adore anya as a comedic character (i think shes easily one of the funniest on either show) there’s something that doesnt sit right with me about how it takes five seasons for her to be taken seriously, and i think it relates to how female villains in the buffyverse cant be villainous without being either sexy or ditzy enough to disarm them

when we meet her in s3 Anya’s been killing people for longer than spike and angel combined. from the very beginning its shown that, although she says her victims “deserve it” and that she does it for “justice”, its just an excuse -- she even admits in her first episode that she doesnt care that cordelia’s wish killed her, and for the most part, the dramatic irony of this is used as another source of humour. it’s not until s7 that anya’s vast history of murder and hollow justifications are treated as anything but a joke, and imo, as much as i love selfless, it kind of feels like too little too late.

the way that Anya’s history of hating and killing men is used primarily to make jokes revolving around her relationship with xander, the way that despite becoming a scooby she doesnt show any understanding of why what she did was wrong bc that would undercut the humour, the way xander’s discomfort at her descriptions of past murders is played for laughs -- to me it reads like a denial that she could ever be that bad. even when spike is being the comic relief, there’s scenes thrown in that remind you he wasnt always, and there’s always somebody trying to remind the other characters not to forget what he’s capable of. but Everyone forgot what anya was capable of because they never took her seriously when she frequently reminded them. its like her proud descriptions of people she killed were always met with “of course you did sweetie” and we moved on. it feels condescending.

selfless feels like trying to catch up on four seasons worth of missing character exploration in one episode. we get the shell-shocked girl she “helped” rocking back and forth on the floor saying “i take it back, i take it back”, we get the blood splatters and the gory murder scene that all her previous jokes were always alluding to, we get buffy suddenly treating anya like a monster of the week and trying to kill her, and it feels so Sudden because despite her constantly referencing how she used to kill people for a thousand years, its Always been laughed off until now.

i feel like anya should have been taken more seriously much, much earlier, because she deserved to be given that depth outside of being xander’s funny ex-demon girlfriend.

#anya #analysis #this is not remotely against anya as a character btw like im not trying to say she was a bad person so people shouldnt like her #i love her sm

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thatonesongyouretryingtoremember · 1 year

Text

Um I want planning on it but...

Mike Wheeler's Guide to Falling in Love with a Superhero - live reaction

Dvjhdazfhhygvb literally such Micheal behavior

Wait he knows Max irl in this? Is he in the same friend group? Is he seriously the only human in his friend group? Lmao.

Also Nancy working for Daily Bugle is a nice touch

Wait Dustin isn't super. Zoomer, Ranger, Eleven, Spiderman, yup Dustin's human too.

What even is Micheal's job?

Why does every Mike characterization include him thinking "objectively"? Ajsjbxhcjdnd canon.

Better be a paper straw, bud

"This is a robbery" um okay *continues doing homework and drinking coffee* my dude she is a r m e d

I can't- Will living his sassy dreams, calling villains friendless I bet

So Doc Ock is the same person who was talking about her son who loves heroes, right?

Wait is this even Doc Ock? Is there more than one villain with a lab coat?

Wait are Dusty and Micheal just. Sitting there? ansnchdbehfjfxbj icon behavior lmao

Why do all Mike characterizations involve fantasies of violence? Canon.

"Um sorry I want a less embarrassing death" shut up you pretentious fuck literally accurate

Wait it's a café on the seventh floor? Jesus Christy maybe care a little more about your um life than "He dropped me on the sidewalk no big" wgat

Wait the cage isn't where he works? Why did he call his boss a baker then?? Full me in I'm stupid :/

Literally stunning

No, keep talking. I want to know if Dusty was literally about to say "so gay".

Mike:

We love a pathetic Micheal. Stg he's such a damsel in distress. On the one hand of you constantly almost die maybe you should hit the gym on the other hand I love nothing more than just a useless main character.

"No more room for (dignity) in his noodly body" silly little phrases>>>

We spent two seconds in proximity and you haven't paid an attention to me. Hope i die.

HE LITERALLY IS ansbchebhfufbbfjc PERFECT

No that is literally the most Richie sorry ever I'm DYING

The melodrama of it all

I love how you can tell the writer's personality. Yes, describe the little outfits that civilians wear. I want to know <2

If Will calls him "Cool Guy" as Will I will DIE

"Cool" "cool" maybe stab me

"I love sci-fi" you are sci-fi.

How does his neck not break

Micheal's face rn:

How very cringefail of you, Micheal

You've seen Jonathan exploding Mike in his mind, get ready for:

Totally normla

TROY (also slay, El)

Heart eyes

His book is literally Stranger Things <2

He's not like the other girls I'M DEAD

And i like talking with you, stalker

I went most of a chapter thinking this draft got lost :/

Martin like Martin Brenner? (<- quotes to get urself publicly executed)

So Mike said he knows Max, but I don't think he knows the others besides Dustin. That makes sense bc Max prob wouldn't introduce her friends to her super friends, right?

This is kinda different from canon bc in canon they're friends for a decade and their friendship is super important, but in this version, we can focus on what I really care about- Mike being a fucking loser (affectionate)

I really like the little details like the book Mike writes being ST- and wonton b2 alongside b1 bc there was a ✨️plan✨️ all along. WAIT IS HIS SELF INSERT NAMED MIKHAIL-

It's okay I'm normla now.

My dude stop flirting you are on the clock holy shit as far as Micheal knows you're a stranger jesus christy

Did I mention how fucking funny the ladies' man comment was?

Micheal and me are both just dramatic little shits. Yes I will explode, actually.

Okay but what even

No comment

Najzbxbchhdhbdbxh hdbdjxdyxhdb💖💖💖💖💖

I FUCKING KNEW IT! C O O L G U Y !!!!!

Ookay

The fact I can hear all of this in their voices qjabxbxbhxhxhdhbc (did I mention they're dorks?)

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ISN'T A GARUNTEE MOM I'M SCARED

Students when Spiderman goes in and out of this one apartment window alot:

Them when he starts coming out of a *different* apartment:

HE DID THE THING HE DID THE THING

YES SLAY

This post by @smoosnoom, this fic

#literally flawless #mike wheelers guide to falling in love with a superhero #spidey will and mj wheeler #byler

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stvrdrops · 1 year

Note

I had an Idea of like the plus sized Y/N going on a joint trip with shuriri and Ayo and Aneka and the readers ex comes and they try to get back on good terms with Y/N but she didn’t want that because of the trauma they gave Y/N basically what I’m trying to say is like could u base the one shot off the movie “Why did I get married” by Tyler perry bc I feel like I couldn’t word this right😭

OMGSHDUSJ the way i just watched this movie a couple weeks ago, i can def try to write this for you.

not sure which tags to use for this but ima do like a little imagine so i hope that’s okay (*´∇｀*) this is for a fem!reader

note : i’m so sorry i didn’t realize i never posted this and it’s been in my drafts 😭😭

“i know that is not who i think it is…” riri said as her girlfriend shuri held onto her tight. they had been sitting by the couch drinking wine and playing some stupid american game you had recommended called cards against humanity. aneka and riri found the game hilarious but ayo and shuri could not believe the vulgar things they were seeing.

“hey y’all…” a familiar voice said from behind you.

immediately the wine glass in your hand slipped right through your fingers and onto the floor. when the glass shattered it made a loud crack and the red spilled out everywhere.

“oh god im so sorry…” you speak as you attempt to clean up the glass, cutting your hand in the process.

“let me help you with that—“

“i do not think so.” ayo said, standing up and quickly positioning herself in a dora stance.

“if she wants my help then i’ll help her. besides it’s the nice thing to do.”

shuri scoffs as she ushered riri to go help clean the glass up, “you weren’t very nice when you constantly ridiculed y/n about her weight. even though she is perfect just the way she is. you are far too egotistical to look past that and see her beautiful personality.”

you can’t help but blush out of thankfulness at your friend’s words. it made you feel amazing knowing that these girls thought of you that way. it made you feel like you could be comfortable with yourself after all those years of thinking you were wrong for looking the way you do, when maybe your ex was the one really in the wrong.

“yeah well obviously i see where i went wrong. we had this vacation planned before we broke up, i payed my part of it. i should be able to enjoy it with her.”

“we will refund you whatever you spent for the trip. we are much better off without you here to spoil it.”

your ex laughs, “it’s a couples retreat. surely she doesn’t wanna be surrounded by you guys with no significant other.”

“actually i do.” you speak up for the first time. you had to let her get a piece of your mind. “i want you to go and i never want to see you again after this, do you hear me? you and me are done and will forever be done. this relationship i’ve had with you is more over now than it’s ever been. i’d like for you to leave.”

your ex looks around the room at all of the women now giving her death stares. her body language says that she’s nervous but her ego won’t let her show it in her words.

“fine.” she picks up her bags, “i’ll go.”

you all watch as she heads through the front door, huffing and puffing under her breathe. you can’t help but be proud of yourself for standing up to someone you’ve never been able to. it’s like starting a new chapter for yourself, and that’s a great feeling.

your friends all surround you in a great big hug and praise you for standing up for yourself. you don’t need a girlfriend when you’ve got plenty right here who love you just the way you are!

note : sorry it’s a little short i’m just not used to writing things like this (*´∇｀*)

#stvrdrops #stvrdrops requests #fanfic #this was so fun to write 😭

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dragonofeternal · 5 months

Text

So this year has been really, really good in terms of like... reminding/validating that I'm actually like smart and good at what I do?

Like.

First off, I got my new job which whips ass and is super fun and challenging and pays way better and where my ability to do nine million different things is like very valuable. Like oh yeah, I can reformat this word doc/that powerpoint. Do you want me to do a little bit of graphic design to make this actually look nicer? Oh, you need this video for a presentation but it's on a site other than youtube? Yeah sure, I'll rip it for you. And also just the day-to-day of being able to take good notes, and being able to help copyedit training materials, and generally being a pleasant and mostly on top of things person in the office.

THEN, I took one of Killian's creative writing classes along with them. Which, for one thing, was super fun, good teacher, nice to have an organized space/time to hang out and talk about writing. But also it was really validating to have someone outside of the internet/my inner circle of friends read and critique my work who was like... I dunno another adult/serious writer type person? Our teacher is a published poet -- Though more specifically she's prolific as a TRANSLATOR of poetry. A fair number of the translated Palestinian poets you've seen being posted around tumblr recently are most certainly her work. -- and when she realized the level I was writing at she started critiquing my work a lot harder. Still had nice stuff to say! Just also being willing to dig in and point out places where I could improve.

We actually hung out with her last night at a fellow classmate's band's show and she took both me and Killian aside for expanded critique/thoughts on our final pieces, and said some really nice stuff which included that she sees both of us as like professional-grade writers who should continue to hone their craft and who she really wants to see succeed/get shit published/etc. I'm currently letting a short story (that is... probably gonna end up as a novella orz) that I wrote for class sit before I do another draft of it, and then she's offered to do a more critical line edit for me so I can shop it around and get it published somewhere really good.

(Which is also interesting because I see myself as working very much in genre spaces and she's very in the "literary" sort of mode, and she said that she saw a lot of literary prowess and style in how I wrote which she could see getting it published in a more literary type journal. And that's like a weird/wild thought bc of my complicated thoughts on the way the literary/publishing world looks at and treats genre writing blah blah blah....)

At the SAME show, though, our teacher had brought along a friend, who is also a teacher at the community college. Said friend works for the theatre department and recognized me from volunteering to act at a one-day event last semester for Killian's playwriting class. Like this was an event where I was acting for MAYBE a grand total of fifteen minutes. And she basically said "HEY YOU'RE REALLY GOOD, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU AT ANY OF THE AUDITIONS?" So then I chatted with her some about how I've done a lot of theatre over the years but time/jobs/money meant I haven't had a chance to in a long time...

But now my job is a 9-5! So I gave her my number and I'm now basically the understudy for if/when someone drops out of the productions currently going on. Apparently they have a lot of issues with people dropping suddenly so it's likely that I'll end up doing something next semester! Which is good cuz like. Damn, do I love the theatre, and I've missed it A LOT.

I dunno just having two different people being really impressed about my creative work in a short time was really, really mood/ego boosting? I dunno. When I last did theater in Pittsburgh I ended up feeling really burnt out by the exhausting sense of always having to hunt for work, feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc... And last year I was struggling a lot with feeling like all my writing was futile/unwanted/etc... So having people remember me and be super complimentary was. Nice.

#state of the liz #long post under cut

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iamfabiloz · 1 year

Note

hi idk anything about transformers which i think means you should educate me . eye emoji

GOES NUTS i was abt to finish what i typed n posted but i lost my og draft ACK!! sorry this took a bit to answer i wanted to answer properly EEEE TY FOR ASKING I LOVE THE ROBOTS!!!!

BASICALLYY the transformers r alien robots from the planet cybertron!! they are fighting a civil war and eventually all the fighting wrecks the planet n the battle gets moved 2 earth!! there r two sides, the good guys called the autobots (led by a guy called optimus prime he is popular n beloved in the franchise n fandom) and the evil bad guys r called the Decepticons!! they are led by their evil leader Megatron!! OP and megs are sworn enemies n fight sm, the wars been going on for like over 4 million years (these guys live a LONGGG time) on earth, the autobots r nicer and treat the humans better than the cons anyways (tho no bot/con is rlly pure their like all war criminals LMAOOO) u would not BELIEVEE their mfing drama!! the pettyness of these mech mfs fr

ANYWAYZZ another rlly cool thing abt the series is the many canon queer bots!!! :D their mostly in the idw comics tho, such as the comic series 'more than meets than the eye' and lost light' which features multiple main characters who r gay and have a bunch of mlm relationships, as well as lost light having some t4t lesbians who r prominent EEE it so cool to see!! another example of transgenderformers is in the newest show 'transformers earthspark' which features one of the main characters who is nonbinary!! their sooo cool :]!!

now AHEM some recommendations r below for tf shows that I rlly like (NO PRESSURE TO WATCH/CONSUME ANY OF THESE THO!! i just rlly always like linking tf stuff it makes me happy :3 i wont mind at all if these just sit here foreva i just am like YAYY when i have to find linkies it is very fun!!)

the first tf show I ever watched is Transformers Prime!! I’d def start here bc it’s good for beginners new to the series, has lore, action, rlly good characters r plot!! Very dearly beloved by the fandom :] has three seasons n a movie! links to view it 4 free below:

YouTube Playlist with all eps + Movie

Seasons 2-3 on tubitv.com (Season 1 is on U.S Netflix if you have, idk why season 1 isn’t on tubi 🤔)

(ALSO THE ORIGINAL 80s G1 SHOW IS ON TUBI AS WELL, it is very funny i like it even tho i havent finished all the way EE)

If u want smth short I’d also recommend TRANSFORMERS EARTHSPARK!!! It’s ongoing tho, not fully finished like Prime, n is the newest tf show as of late, but it’s proven to be wonderful so far and I’ve actually gotten people who haven’t seen any tf stuff before to watch it and they’ve been fine and liked it HEHEEH :3 only 18 eps rn, here is my google drive w all the eps so far if u want!

other shows that I have links to watch to r:

Transformers Animated (3 seasons, 2d animated, more stylized, very fun)

Transformers Cyberverse (3 seasons and two 40 minute specials more kiddy and not as serious and a little shallower than the other shows, but I really enjoyed it, it was so so funny and it was my top tf thing for a while before Earthspark stole my heart 😨 cyberverse season 3 has no right to go so hard)

and the idw comics can be read on readcomiconline.li (tho beware of the weird ads n pop ups if u go on here, their rlly AAA so its best viewed w adblock) theres some mlp and transformers crossover comics on there also THEIR SO GOOD AND FUN i dont think u need any prior knowledge to enjoy them tbh their great

ty again for letting me explode abt robots

#ask #tidal chaos #transformers #maccadam #eek i love bein da tf mutual WEEEEE #i copy pasted the robot links from my last robot screaming recommending post LMAOO #putting an image of rodimus so it looks nicer LMFAO

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wikiangela · 6 months

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alive shannon 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 (but much more enthusiastically)

yaaay I love talking about this fic haha

so, the alive shannon fic is my most precious baby, and I love her sooo much (both the fic and shannon haha)

the idea started bc I was tired of the discourse and hate on Shannon bc she doesn't deserve it, and since I first watched the show I always just felt so bad for her - but that's a whole rant sitting in my drafts so that's all I'm gonna say on that atm hahaha

the fic is going to be basically a rewrite of canon where Shannon survives the accident and she and Eddie get divorced, and she stays in Christopher's life - so she sticks around and she and Eddie become friends/co-parents, and she's gonna get to know Buck too (I think they're on their way to become besties tbh lol) - and most of all she and Chris will get to have a relationship

so that, and all the events from canon that are still gonna happen and how it might differ with her around - and in the middle of it all Buck and Eddie will slowly fall in love, and she's gonna be so 👀 about Eddie and Buck's relationship and eventually she's gonna be like: these oblivious idiots are never gonna get it istg haha (she might meddle a bit too, and I kinda want to get it up to the end of s4 with Ana just to see Shannon be like: it should be Buck, wtf is eddie even doing lol)

and I'm just excited to explore these dynamics, and Eddie moving on and letting himself fall for someone else (Buck), and him and Shannon getting the closure they were robbed of in the show haha

it's gonna be switching pov with each chapter so we'll get all three perspectives and it's sooo much fun to write and I have sooo many ideas (as of now there's almost 20k words, and I'm still only on chapter 3, didn't even get to the truck bombing yet, so it's gonna be fucking long lmao)

there are already way too many snippets posted here, you can find them under the alive shannon fic tag (this post is tagged as this too lol) but here's one more that I'm not sure I shared haha - it's from chapter 1, from Eddie's pov, and it's him and Buck waiting for news about Shannon's condition at the hospital, and not knowing if she survives or not

He thinks back to his and Shannon's latest interactions, to her coming back, to the chaos of their relationship, that Eddie knows isn’t good, he knows that, he just can’t help wanting to fix it – she’s his wife, how can he just give up? Maybe it was good, once upon a time, before they were thrust into parenthood and marriage way too young, before they were pressured and divided by Eddie’s family, their suggestions sounding more like orders, now that Eddie thinks back on it, orders that he followed, being just a dumb kid. Maybe if he hadn’t left, if he stayed and supported her, if they did it all together, like the partners they were supposed to be… But there’s no point thinking about what ifs. It’s all over, whether she survives or not, and he just has to make his peace with it. He thinks back to their last conversation, and he hates to admit that she was right. “She wants a divorce.” he hears himself blur out, voice hoarse and breaking, unused in hours. He’s not sure why this is what he’s focusing on right now, why this is what he wants to tell Buck, but at least he’s not breaking down. He’ll allow himself a moment for that after he talks to his son, after he knows- “Shannon.” he croaks out, as if there was a need to specify. He feels Buck’s gaze on his face, but he can’t look up, can’t look into those worried blue eyes, or he’ll drown in them, willingly and completely, not ever wanting to swim back to the surface and face this cruel world. “She asked me for a divorce.” “Eddie, I’m so sorry-” Buck starts, but Eddie interrupts him with a bitter chuckle that sounds almost like he’s choking. He might as well be, he thinks the only reason he’s still breathing is holding his hand right now. Only other reason is back home, not realizing what’s happening, just doing his homework or watching cartoons. Eddie really doesn’t want to bring him bad news, he’s too young for this. “She’s right. I couldn’t- I didn’t want to see it. But she’s right.” he sighs, readjusting his grip on Buck’s hand, but not letting go. He doesn’t want to ever let go. If he did, he thinks he’d just crumble into a million little pieces right now, left for Buck to pick up. And he has no doubt Buck would, every smallest piece, and put him back together again. Really, what would he do without him? How did he do it without him until now?

ask me about my wips

#thank you so much for the ask <333 #the alive shannon fic #wikiangela writes #my wips #buddie wip #shannon diaz #wip ask game #asks #wikiangela answers #tbh i have maaany ideas and plans but we'll see what happens #I learned that I can't plan much for eddie bc that mf always does what he wants anyway haha

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 1 year

Text

so like. gotta preface this by saying that i DONT ship steddyhands. but ages and ages there were a whole buncha posts (proabably more than those three) where i jokingly whined abt how all the steddyhands content i see gets stede's characterization wrong. and out of silly, petty, joking, well-meaning spite over a harmless fandom disagreement i was like "im going to write my own summary of a steddyhands fic of how it SHOULD go." but then bc i do not like izzy and i do not care about this ship i forgot about it for a long ass time. but i was clearing out my drafts and slapped a few more paragraphs onto it and now here's this fucking monster

this is by no means a completed fic. but by god is it way longer than any fucking summary should be. like it's literally 5k. this is a 5k summary of what would probably be like a 100k fic. someone kill me

———

so for starters, this would have to be THE SLOWEST of burns (and there's no way i'd put that much time and effort into a fic for a ship i don't even like, so that's why this post is all i'm gonna write). izzy has to go through so much change before stede would even think about izzy as anything more than "that asshole that ed keeps around for some reason" (and also before im comfortable with ed being vulnerable around izzy haha "i shouldve let the english kill you" conversation my detested)

izzy would have been in love with ed since they met (but he doesn't know it). he doesn't even let himself admit he's attracted to him. ed always knew that izzy was interested, but he didn't want to be wanted the way izzy wanted him (he's not gonna be izzy's daddy dom, basically). stede and the gang have stolen a new ship and have been chasing them down. meanwhile, the vibe on the Revenge has been mostly just... sad. not gratuitously violent or a living nightmare. they do raids and stuff, but everyone still surrenders at the sight of blackbeard's flag and ed is bored. he sits in his room either crying or drinking. the rest of the crew do normal boat stuff. izzy is like... aware that the energy is low. but he has no idea what to do about it so he pretends everything is fine.

so the story starts at the reunion. stede and his gang finally catch up to the Revenge while ed and his crew are getting their asses handed to them by some european navy ship, the french or spanish or something idc. stede's crew is able to turn the tide of the battle. in the middle of all the chaos, stede and izzy run into each other. stede demands to know where ed is, izzy says ed doesn't want to see him. they fight, both physically and verbally. lotta insults are thrown on both sides while they wave swords at each other. at some point they have their swords crossed and faces close, glaring and growling homoerotically at each other, but then they hear ed shout in pain. he gets shot or stabbed or something, and instantly izzy and stede are both working in sync together to save him. stede uses his new sailor muscles to carry ed while izzy clears a path to get back to the Revenge. ed, barely holding onto consciousness and delirious from blood loss, sees stede for the first time and is like, "you came back..." stede, of course, replies, "never left." ed laughs and calls him a liar. izzy is dying inside.

they get ed and everyone else back onto the Revenge, the crew reunites, lucius is alive, roach stabilizes ed's condition.

while ed is unconscious (which lasts like 2 or 3 days), it's unclear who is running the ship. izzy is ed's first mate, but stede's crew outnumbers ed's. the crew tries really hard to get stede to just throw izzy overboard, but jim (who's struck a weird friendship with izzy since the marooning where all they do is practice fighting and never talk abt their feelings ever), is like, "ed might be mad if he wakes up and we killed his first mate." and stede (even though it's clear that he also kind of wants to throw izzy overboard), is like, "ugh, i suppose jim is right... and he did help me save ed. let's wait for ed to wake up first before we make any rash decisions."

so izzy, realizing how precarious his situation is on the ship (and realizing that if ed wakes up and wants nothing to do with him, he's doomed), starts acting like a cornered rat, hissing and spitting at everyone all the time (except for jim, who keeps training with izzy in stoic silence). he's especially harsh to stede, talking abt how much ed doesn't want to see his face and insulting stede's masculinity and trying to get stede to leave before ed wakes up. stede snaps back a little bit, but mostly he just rolls his eyes and ignores him bc he's just focused on worrying abt ed. stede spends the nights sleeping in a chair next to ed. izzy tries to sneak into the cabin at night to kill stede at some point, but jim stops him and reminds him that everyone is just looking for an excuse to chuck him overboard

when ed wakes up, he and stede kiss and make up. stede initiates family therapy where the whole crew and ed air out their feelings about the marooning and have a heart to heart. touching dialogue is had. izzy is in the corner glaring and scowling and also freaking the fuck out the whole time, but he doesn't say anything. eventually the crew heads out to go. do pirate stuff idk. and then ed asks for stede and izzy to stay for a second.

he thanks izzy for saving him, then he's like, "listen izzy, we both know that this hardly the first time you've saved my life. you and i go way back. we were good mates once. do you think we could be mates again?" and izzy, through gritted teeth, watching stede out of the corner of his eye, is like. sure, boss. whatever you say. and ed is like "i want you two to get along. you're both important to me," and stede and izzy (glaring daggers at each other) are like. okay.

then ed is like "okay now just izzy alone" and stede is like "are you sure?" but eventually ed gets him to leave. and then ed gets more serious and he's like "izzy. if you kill stede. you will never see me again" and izzy is like "youre not gonna feed me more toes?"

and ed is like "no. i will leave you at the next dock. and then i will burn the whole world down. i will bring hellfire straight to london and wage war on that shithole of a country. i'll slaughter every naval soldier who tries to cut me down. and when im finally overrun, i will go down in a blaze of glory so spectacular that they'll tell stories of it for years to come, until the sun burns out at the end of the world. and you will have no part in it. you will be stuck on some tiny island here on the other side of the world and nobody will know or care who you are. that's what's going to happen if you do anything to stede."

izzy is shaking. he's like. alright. anything else? and ed's like "yeah. i'm sorry about your toe. won't happen again." and that actually makes izzy almost cry. that there's nothing he can do to make ed look at him like that again, all attention on him, putting him in his place. there's nothing he can take from ed to make ed pay attention to him. if he wants to be close to ed, he has to give something to him. something less tangible than his own toe.

(and izzy thinks what he gives to ed is his sword and his undying loyalty to his captain, to blackbeard. he doesn't understand, just yet, that ed already has a sword, and that ed doesn't want loyalty to blackbeard. izzy doesn't get that giving ed a break is more than enough for ed to want to keep anyone around)

so yeah. this threat works. izzy gives up on trying to kill stede.

so ed is still in recovery for like a month. he's not able to move around a lot, so he's just kinda lounging around the Revenge being grossly in love with stede. he's always in a robe + leather pants combo, tits out and vibing. the crew raids some ships, including a naval vessel that was caught off guard. ed doesn't go on the raids, obviously, and stede stays behind with him, and the rest of the crew members don't trust izzy enough to let him join them. the crew pull off a bunch of weird fuckeries and have some very successful raids, but every time they come back with furniture and books and fabric and stuff, izzy rolls his eyes and grumbles some shit about "real pirating."

during all of this, izzy keeps trying to get ed alone. his new strategy is to try and be buddy-buddy with ed and peer pressuring him into tough masculine pirate violence (which always worked for jack whenever he came around), and also just hope ed gets bored of stede. but stede is like, at ed's side 24/7. the only time that ed is alone is when he's taking naps in the captain's cabin (bc again, he's recovering from Ambiguous Wound With Vague And Innaccurate Medical Properties), and stede literally makes ppl guard the door to let ed sleep. when izzy runs into stede alone, stede tries to initiate friendly conversation for ed's sake, but eventually izzy says some shit like, "i've been by ed's side for years before you, and i'll be by his side for years after. he'll get bored of you, eventually." and also he insults stede's masculinity a bunch, obvi. stede just sighs and is like, "well, i tried," and then he just gives izzy the cold shoulder from then on out

one of the nights when he's training with jim, izzy just keeps getting his ass handed to him and eventually jim is like "goddamn, i get your heart is broken but you're really sloppy tonight" and izzy is like. WHAT. how dare you. i don't have feelings. and jim is like "buddy you haven't slept in a week." and izzy's like "how can i sleep when everyone on this fucking ship wants to kill me!" and jim's like, "i don't want to kill you." izzy rolls his eyes but he's like "thanks," then jim's like "yknow, if you stopped being such a dick they'd probably stop wanting to kill you" and izzy is like "oh so i should just do what all you guys do? sit around braiding each other's hair and having group therapy sessions and spilling my guts to everyone while i'm all wrapped up in a silk gown?" and jim is like. "buddy, do you see me spilling my guts in group therapy or wearing a silk gown?" and izzy's like, "okay, but you're not like the rest of them." and jim's like "you're right, i'm not. just like lucius isn't like the rest of them. or how the swede isn't like the rest of them. or fang, or ivan, or frenchie, or anyone else on this ship. we're all different people, man. we don't have a problem with differences. we have a problem with people who do have a problem with differences." izzy is like "the fuck does that mean." jim is like "yeah, i can tell you're gonna have a hard time wrapping your head around that one, so im just gonna go to bed now. same time tomorrow?"

the next night, ed doesn't come up with stede to listen to the bedtime story. while stede is distracted, izzy sneaks downstairs to finally talk to ed alone. ed is like. trying to prepare some kind of horny surprise for stede (lingerie, probably. something that's kinda feminine), so we get that avatar scene where zuko goes to talk to sokka and sokka thinks suki is the one who entered the tent (only ed is like, almost entirely naked and in the middle of prepping himself), and ed greets izzy like, "oh babe, you're back early! i was going to surprise you, but you can come here and help me finish getting ready~" or some shit idk. izzy is incapable of human speech for several seconds, and when ed realizes that this is not stede he very nearly dies of embarrassment. he covers himself up while izzy is just. choking on air. overcome with rage/lust/jealousy at the sight. he stands behind a chair to hide his absolutely raging boner

when ed's got one of stede's robes on he's like. haha. heyyyy buddy. haven't seen you around much. how have things been? and izzy is like. things have been great. super. im trapped on a boat full of people that want to kill me. ed is like, oh no, they're still going on about the killing you thing? maybe we should have stede mediate another group therapy session, i know laying everything out in the open really helped me get—

and izzy cuts him off like "how the fuck are you falling for this?" ed is like. "?" izzy continues, "you're letting everyone see you at your weakest! they're going to kill you!" ed is like ok they could've done that literally at any point while i was feverish in bed. or at any point since then, really, i'm not exactly at the top of my game right now. izzy's like, "they're gonna turn you in for a bounty!" ed is like bro they literally had the opportunity when we raided that british naval ship two days ago. izzy just starts working himself up into a frenzy while ed is like, calmly pointing out where izzy's logic is flawed, until eventually izzy says some demeaning shit about ed's masculinity, and ed's face cracks for a moment, then suddenly stede (back from storytime) literally APPEARS FROM NOWHERE and just. DECKS izzy. wrecks the little man's ENTIRE shit. breaks his fucking nose.

izzy is like. in shock. so is ed actually. (both of them are also. very turned on.) and stede is like "i've let you say this shit about me. but you do not get to say that shit to ed" (but like, better written and more in character, lol). stede then gives a whole speech where he is just letting out every bottled up response to all of izzy's insults for the past few weeks, talking abt "how dare you speak to ed that way, the only reason you're alive is because ed somehow still has fondness for you, even though you've done nothing to earn that fondness. if you really knew ed as well as you say you do, you should be happy to see ed opening up and becoming more comfortable with himself and his crew. ed enjoying fine things doesn't make him less of a pirate, he's still just as much the brilliant sailor he's always been. even now, while ed is recovering from his wound, he's been helping the crew read the weather and predict storms and plan raids, and all you've been doing is sulking around and making everyone miserable! i'm not going to have my men kill you, izzy, because ed still, for some reason, cares about you, but if you don't stop being such a prick, you can get the fuck off my ship the next time we head to port. now if you'd kindly fuck the hell off, im going to make love to my co-captain, who looks really good in that lingerie."

izzy leaves. is having a hard time having coherent thoughts. by chance he runs into jim, who's like, "hope you're ready to put up a better fight than you did last ni-hooooly shit what happened to your face?" and izzy is like. what? and jim's like "bro im getting roach stay here." and izzy just sits in the rec room (or wherever they are) until jim comes back with a very sleepy-looking roach, who takes one look at izzy's face and bursts out laughing. that's enough to get izzy to stop staring blankly, and he tries to snarl at roach, except that when he moves his face it hurts like fucking hell. and roach is like, "alright, alright, hoo boy! wish i could've seen whatever caused this." then he's like, "so i need to pop your nose back into place. it's gonna hurt like hell though, so i should probably go get some laudanum–" and izzy's like "no it's fine just do it." and jim's eyebrows raise and roach is like, "uh... are you sure?" and izzy's like "just fucking do it!"

so roach does and izzy screams through gritted teeth. then roach cleans his nose with rum or something, bandages it, gives izzy the rest of the booze, and goes back to bed, leaving jim and izzy there alone. izzy starts drinking. jim sits next to him and holds their hand out for the bottle, and then the two of them just drink in silence until the bottle is gone. then they go to bed without saying anything.

then izzy proceeds to have The Most Confusing Wet Dream Of His Entire Goddamn Life. he keeps seeing ed in lingerie, stede's face twisted in righteous anger, random flashes of stede fucking ed, izzy fucking ed in the lingerie, izzy wearing the lingerie and getting fucked by stede, izzy calling stede daddy, stede and ed fully clothed asking izzy to talk about his feelings, stede slapping izzy and spitting into his mouth.

izzy wakes up with the worst case of morning wood he's ever had in his life. he proceeds to have a very frantic masturbation session. as he's laying there afterwards, he keeps thinking abt ed in lingerie and stede breaking his nose. and he absolutely cannot wrap his head around the fact that ed bottoms. this is also the first time izzy's ever consciously thought about having sex with ed. he's literally been so repressed that for years he would just jack off to like, remembering the smell of booze in ed's beard or some pathetic shit like that. he'd think about, like, fighting with ed and getting pinned down and being totally at ed's mercy. but now when he thinks of those old fantasies, instead of ed pinning him down, it's stede?????

izzy stays in bed the whole day. nobody comes to check on him. he hears the sound of the crew going about their day, stede's voice calling out commands on the deck. he jerks off again at some point in the afternoon. night falls. he can't make out the words, but he can tell from the cadence of stede's voice at what point he starts reading to the crew, and at what point they all go to sleep. he waits for ten more minutes to pass, then he heads to the galley to get food.

jim is waiting literally right outside his door. izzy is not spooked at all (this is a lie).

jim's like "hey man, we never got to spar last night. let's go." izzy's like, "i haven't eaten anything all day." and jim's like, "so you're saying you can't take me?" and izzy snorts and follows them to go practice murdering people

jim very much goes easy on izzy, but izzy is too hungry and tired and confused (and horny) to care. they fight or whatever, jim wins every round, then they're like "man im starving, let's get a snack." the two of them go get food. after a while, jim's like, "so, what'd you say to piss stede off so bad?" and izzy's like, "how did you know it was him?" and jim laughs and says, "the knuckles on his right hand were bandaged up today, and he didn't seem too worried about you spending all day hiding in your room."

izzy takes a long drink and doesn't respond for a while. then he says, "you're dating the guy with the hat, right?" jim's like, "i'm the guy with the hat." and izzy's like, "you're a guy?" and jim goes, "ehh..." and tilts their hand side to side. izzy, deciding to move on, is like, "i mean the one with the orange hat. and the blue earring." and jim's like, "it's teal." izzy's like, "whatever." and jim's like, "yeah, we're dating. why?" izzy takes a minute before asking, "what do you like about him?" and jim is jokingly like, "dude, the whole reason i hang out with you is so i don't have to talk about feelings" and izzy, instead of laughing with them like he usually would, just kinda snaps, "would you just answer the question?" jim looks at his face for a long moment, assessing, then says, "i like that olu's kind. he cares about people so easily, i don't know how he does it. he's patient with me, even when i'm being difficult. he tells me when he's upset, but not in a mean way, just in a, like, 'i don't want to be mad at you, help me fix this' way. he can be really clingy sometimes, but he'll hold himself back if i ever need space. he just... accepts me. all of me. even the parts i don't accept."

and izzy is like. staring into space. and after a second jim says, "also he does this thing with his tongue where he–" and izzy is like "OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH THANKS." jim laughs at him a little bit. and after another long pause izzy's like, "you know they almost made him captain?" and jim smirks and is like, "yeah, i heard about that. when they almost threw you overboard?" and izzy's like "yeah. then." and jim says, "yeah, i'm not really surprised. like i said, he's good at caring for people. he'd make a pretty good captain." and izzy's like, "are you mad that he's not captain?" and jim shrugs and is like, "eh, i'm not one for politics." but izzy presses, like, "but he'd be in charge of the whole ship. he'd be the one telling everyone what to do. he'd have all the power here!" and jim's like, "hey man, i don't really give two shits about 'power.' im just trying to get by in this world. all i want is to hang out with my partner, throw knives at stuff, and sometimes watch my crew put on talent shows." and izzy, getting kind of frustrated, is like, "but doesn't it bother you that he's weak?"

before izzy realizes, jim has a knife against his throat and is glaring directly into his eyes. "i let you say a lot of shit to me, pendejo," they growl, "i let you talk shit about this crew, about my captain, about how none of my friends are real pirates. but you do not get to tell me that olu is weak." izzy's eyes are wide at first, but when jim finishes, he snorts and says, "look, he's not as bad as lucius or stede-" but jim cuts him off. "there's more to strength than having power," jim says. "there's more to being strong than just making everyone afraid of you. and whatever it is that you think makes stede and lucius weak" and izzy is like "i fucking knew you'd turn on me too. now everyone on this stupid fucking ship wants to kill me" and jim just gives him the flattest, most unimpressed look before just walking away. they say "get over yourself, izzy" as they go.

izzy goes to bed. has another wet dream. and when he wakes up he's like. fine. fucking fine. i'll try and find some way to live on this stupid fucking clown ship full of shitty pirates.

he apologizes to jim. jim just stares blankly and walks away, but then later is like "we're gonna spar tonight, right?" so izzy knows he's forgiven. he gives the most uncomfortable, gritted apology of his life to stede, and stede's like "oh, it's not me you need to apologize to. go speak to my co-captain." so izzy goes to the captain's cabin and ed is in his usual leathers and izzy is like. trying so hard to make himself apologize but he can't get the words out and eventually ed's like "it's fine, mate. i'll tell stede you apologized, okay?" and izzy's like. alright. thanks. and ed's like "you did kind of have a point, about if the crew wanted to mutiny" and izzy perks up like yes we're going to start running this ship the way real pirates do but then ed is like "yeah, stede wouldn't stand a chance. im still recovering, can you give stede sword lessons for me?"

izzy. does not want to give stede sword lessons. but ed's like "alright i guess i'll tell stede you didn't really apologize and you can get off at the next port. or you can just apologize for real." and izzy really has to think about it but eventually he's like. fine. i'll train your stupid fucking boyfriend.

ed watches for the first half hour of their first training session but someone's gotta captain the ship so from then on out it's just stede and izzy sword fighting in the jam room for a couple hours a day. this leads to angry sexual tension that builds and builds until they angrily make out. and stede is like freaked out bc he loves ed and he would never be unfaithful so he of course goes to ed and tells him about it thinking ed is gonna be heartbroken. but ed is like "i mean, it doesnt really sound like you want the same thing with him tho?" and i guess ed is like "wait if you top izzy i think that'd be kinda funny actually. also that sounds pretty hot. do you wanna top izzy? can i watch?"

so next time they do sword fighting practice ed watches and it escalates to horny shit and then when izzy's like trying really hard to hide his boner, stede is like "what do you say, darling?" and ed is like "pop the question, babe." and then they ask izzy if he'd be okay with stede fucking him while ed watches. izzy tries to bluster his way out of it but then ed is like "damn, was looking forward to it" and izzy is like. ok. fucking. fine.

and then it's really hot and everyone's into it. izzy hates that he's into it but for several days he keeps coming back for more (he tells himself he's only doing it bc it's the only time ed pays any attention to him but like... it's not just that). they do that for like a week or a week and a half. ed gives commentary the whole time, mostly just talking about how hot stede looks. the most he ever says about izzy is stuff like "yeah izzy doesnt he feel so good stretching you out" or whatever

until one day while stede's fucking izzy ed says some shit about "who's the namby pamby now?" and then stede freezes and is like. ed. did izzy say that to you? and ed is like uhhhhhhhhhh maybe? and then stede pulls out of izzy and is like "get the fuck away from him" and izzy (who was having a fantastic time) is like "daddy no" and stede is like "i am not joking get the FUCK out"

and idk. ed tells stede about izzy threatening to kill him while he was heartbroken over stede. and stede is SO fucking mad. maybe stede didnt even know abt the robe era he just thought ed came back to the revenge and went full kraken right away. and this actually makes stede feel more guilty abt leaving bc the thought of ed crying in a blanket fort and eating all his marmalade because he hurt him is even worse than thinking ed just got angry and painted his face. and the fact that izzy said that shit to ed while he was heartbroken like that makes stede SO fucking angry.

and then stede's anger makes ed realize that actually that was really fucked up and he actually finally tells stede about the toe thing and stede is like "i wouldve done the same!!" and they cry together. and then stede and ed dont talk to izzy for weeks and ed starts to emotionally heal from all that. he had stopped wearing stede's robes after the night izzy walked in on him fingering himself but he starts wearing them again. and then he starts actually trying to form a cohesive Look and they steal fancy clothes for ed now and stede pampers ed and takes care of him and ed gets to relax and not worry about people depending on him or on how people perceive him. and he and stede together get to be more confident in themselves than theyve felt in forever

and in the meantime i guess izzy just starts acting like a normal crew member and he very much hates it and the crew is very much giving him shit (someone makes him swab the deck through the entire night) and he wants to be mean to them so fucking bad but like, he knows one wrong move and he's off the boat forever and he doesn't want that. so idk i guess eventually the crew lays off him and invites him to sit and drink with them and stuff. izzy doesn't really get any of them, but jim will sit down next to him and drink next to him and izzy decides that actually maybe this crew isn't entirely useless. they still get on his nerves tho

then one night crew is also like "so uh... why are the captains not fucking you anymore" and izzy's like "YOU KNEW??" and theyre like "buddy you were SO loud. we all heard you call stede daddy" and izzy actually almost has a panic attack but idk someone (lucius?) is like "dude nobody is judging you. it's okay."

and izzy realizes theyre right. nobody is judging him. they want gossipy details but they don't actually care. and that's a big "oh" moment, that he could do things the wrong way (get fucked by someone less masculine than him, maybe even talk about his feelings) and these people wont judge him for it. so izzy gives them a very censored version that basically boils down to "they remembered what an asshole i am and they want nothing to do with me. and they're right"

and uhhhh maybe izzy and lucius hook up too. and then izzy starts crying after and lucius is like "oh god what's wrong" and izzy's like "i miss them. i miss ed. i miss bonnet. why the fuck do i miss bonnet??" and lucius is like "aww did izzy the spewer catch feelings?" and izzy's like "fuck. fuck. i fucking did jesus fuck." he also admits to himself finally that he's been in love with ed for years. (the feelings izzy thinks he has for stede are just His Cock Feels Really Good In My Ass)

and. idk. i guess weeks after all this character development has happened for ed and izzy and stede, izzy jumps in front of a bullet for stede. which leads to stede and ed both thanking him when he wakes up. which leads to izzy apologizing to ed and being like "you dont have to forgive me." and i dont think ed totally accepts the apology but he and stede do start talking to izzy again. ed more than stede maybe. i think stede is a huge prick to izzy and izzy sometimes snaps back but mostly he just sighs because like, yeah. that's fair.

and then i think ed and izzy happen first this time like i think they're reminiscing about old times and ed is like "do you realize how unhappy i was though?" and izzy is like "i didnt before, but i can see it now. you look younger than you have in years. i'm glad you found someone who knows how to love you better than i do" and ed's like wait WHAT. and izzy's like "? what?" and ed's like "you love me??" and izzy's like "yes?? obviously?????" and ed's like "i thought you just wanted me to fuck you!!!" and izzy's like "i mean THAT TOO" and ed's like "do you still love me??" and izzy's like "god only knows why, but yes! obviously!" and then ed asks "do you still want me to fuck you?" and izzy's like "yknow, that's actually a harder one to answer! i dont really know!! i just know that i love you and youre hot!"

And Then They Make Out

and this one is a harder convo for ed and stede to have, not because of the infidelity but stede is like "you remember how he hurt you though?" and ed's like yeah. and im not ever gonna forget that. but i think i can move past it. and stede's like okay fine but i have one condition. he has to watch you bottom for me first

so they do that. bc stede is like "i need izzy to know that the way we make love doesnt make you any less of a man." and izzy is into it obviously, this is not how he ever imagined ed would enjoy sex but he can't deny that ed looks good, and suddenly the "you look younger than you have in years" makes sense. like he can tell ed is loving this and suddenly trying to connect this man with the version of Sexy Blackbeard that izzy was pining after for years just doesn't make sense. izzy can no longer picture ed doing hardcore kinky bdsm dom shit to him.

also izzy's been on the receiving end of stede's dick so he's like, yeah, i get it. but then weirdly even tho this was supposed to be about izzy accepting that ed doesnt want to be the aggressive daddy dom izzy always wanted him to be, izzy (who is first and foremost a huge bottom and the world's biggest sub) is looking at how good ed feels and all he can think is i want stede bonnet in my mouth so fucking bad oh my god.

and then he's not looking at ed at all he's just looking at stede and is like oh shit oh shit oh shit. and ed nuts first and when stede pulls out izzy is right there like "please please please finish in my mouth please daddy" (<- sentences that killed me to write). and stede and ed are both like. oh.

this leads to them falling back into something like their original arrangement where stede and izzy are hate-fucking except now ed is getting in on the action. so like the sex dynamic is that usually ed is either being a pillow princess or a power bottom for stede, izzy is a bratty sub to stede, stede is a service top for ed and a daddy dom for izzy, and then ed and izzy trade handies or oral or whatever when it's all three of them. sometimes stede and izzy team up to pamper ed, or stede and ed team up to torment izzy. ed and izzy by themselves usually dont do anal but when they do izzy usually tops. ed and izzy having sex isn't the sappy passionate lovemaking of ed and stede but it is still very sweet. these sex dynamics aren't set rules or anything, sometimes ed tops stede and sometimes izzy isnt being quite so submissive and etc etc, but that's usually the vibe. ed never doms izzy tho.

as for the emotional dynamic. ed and stede are in love obviously, we all watched the show. with izzy and ed, i dont think ed is in love with izzy at first but he falls into it gradually. stede is maybe a little jealous of this at first but 1. he cant deny anything from ed and if ed loves izzy then fine, ed can love izzy, and 2. he can see that it happens in a different way than how ed loves stede, so he eventually gets over it. and then with stede and izzy it's basically just this post i made where one day while they're fucking it suddenly out of nowhere gets really soft (ed is sitting out for this one but he's there watching) and afterwards stede and izzy are both so mad about being in love. theyre angry at themselves and then they play chicken about it until stede gets injured and izzy says i love you and that completes the steddyhands injurty trifecta so i guess that means the story ends and i'm freed from this post and i can finally get it out of my fucking drafts. jesus fucking christ.

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means gay #ofmd fic #steddyhands #izzy hands #dizzy izzy #stede bonnet #stede fucking bonnet #edward teach #edward teach born on a beach #steddy hands #anyway. i hope this is the last time i make a post talking about how izzy would get together with ed and/or stede #txt #mine #og #my fic #for the record. the mischaracterization of stede is not my only issue w steddyhands #but it's the least important issue i have. mischaracterizing stede to be nice to izzy is annoying to me personally but it's not harmful #guys i rlly just. dont like izzy at all actually.#i love to study him like a bug. and this post was a fun exercise in trying to make him get better without completely breaking his character #also sorry abt casually throwing the daddy kink in there i just had to bully izzy with it #if that's not ur thing imagine him saying something else idk.

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moon-lv3r · 1 year

Text

internship ~🔫

🦋 category: one-shot, fluff?

🦋 characters: chiba

🦋 summary: while working, you met a boy with an internship

🦋 warnings: nil

🦋 notes:

some bad writing since this belonged to last year and i only just finished it. IT WAS A DRAFT ON MY WATTPAD BEFORE I MOVED HERE OK

idk when will i post it on wattpad bc i have to settle some shit on there

eh i wasn't sure how to end it so excuse the shit ending

Working in architecture wasn't always easy. Having to squeeze your brains out for designs was hell. "Y/n! Get this done!" Your boss boomed. You were just hired recently after passing your internship for goodness sake.

"Yes sir," you replied, mentally rolling your eyes. He was an unreasonable man and you dreaded the thought of him being in your days for the foreseeable future.

"Also," your boss continued. "There's a new intern today, take care of him, don't get weirded out by his appearance."

"Uh... Sure?" You replied. Now why would you ever get weirded out by someone's appearance? It wasn't like he was going to be dressed as an animal, right?

You entered your office and waited for the new person to arrive. You wondered how he would look like. Was he going to be a handsome guy? You simply couldn't wait.

While waiting, you decided to squeeze your brains out for ideas. No luck. A knock on your door distracted you for a second. Could it be the new intern? You motioned for him to come in, the first thing that you noticed about him was his eyes.

Or rather, the lack of eyes. It was covered by his long bangs, you wondered how he was able to see anything aside from his million of hair strands. "Uh hi, I'm f/n, nice to meet you... Mr..."

"Chiba Ryuunosuke," he finished. "Nice to meet you too."

There was an empty seat beside you so you motioned for him to sit there and updated him on what he would have to do. After that, you showed him around. He was rather quiet as you walked around. He barely said anything, only nodded as a response to your questions.

"You could help me with this design," you said. "I need some help."

"Sure," he replied. You handed the documents to him and he looked through them, already getting ideas in his mind. Impressive.

You hoped that he would pass his internship, you could really do well with a partner like him. After hours of you coming up with simple sketches before giving up and continuing on your other work, Chiba handed you something.

"Is this good enough?" He asked as you looked at his sketch. He definitely looked at your thrown away drawings and used some of his own ideas to alter them. It was almost impressive. The way he had combined both of your ideas, you liked it. Chiba should get hired, the both of you would make amazing partners and the work he would produce could certainly be amazing and please the eyes of your annoying boss.

"This is amazing!" You replied, smiling up at him. "I'll hand this to the boss, don't worry you'll get the credit."

"I just looked at yours and used some of my ideas that's all," Chiba replied. So he's humble as well. You already like this new intern and it hasn't even been a full day since you laid eyes on him.

You handed the design to your boss and told him how you and, mainly, Chiba designed it. He was impressed by Chiba and told you to look after him more, as he has the potential to become a great designer for future bulidings.

"I will!" You replied and headed back to your office and told Chiba what the boss said. He seemed rather happy and offered a small smile in return. It was a rare sight to see your boss being so happy and not trying to intimate a grumpy cat.

Over time, you and Chiba started to talk more and more, though it was mainly you doing the talking. You found Chiba's presence rather enjoyable and loved having him around. And over time, you may or may not have developed some romantic feelings for Chiba Ryuunosuke. You never told him though, for the sake of staying professional. Besides, he probably didn't return it, he never talked much, that was a sign. Right?

"Y/n," said Chiba. "Today is your birthday right?" He asked. This was about a year and a half after the both of you started working together. You were surprised that he knew your birthday, you never talked about it much and didn't really care about it. It was just another day to you, nothing much.

"Yeah why?" You asked. Chiba rubbed the back of his neck for a second before saying anything.

"I was hoping that we could go out," he said. "As a celebration and... A thank you for helping me in this company."

Oh... Nothing special. Well at least its better than nothing right? Without any hesitation, you agreed to his offer and the both of you agreed on where to have lunch, since today was a half day anyway. Why not make a good use out of it? This would be your first time spending some time with Chiba that wouldn't be work related and you were beyond excited for it. You waited for this moment for way too long.

You could barely focus on your job for the remaining hours, only managing to get half of your work done. Chiba was well, Chiba, he offered to help you finish yours and boy was he efficient. You mentally scolded yourself for letting your feelings take over and lose your professionalism over a boy. This was very unlike you. You had improved in your job over time and this was essentially the first time that you had slipped up since then, it was unforgivable.

"Y/n, are you ok?" Chiba asked.

"Yeah I am fine," you replied. "Let's get our work done as soon as we can!"

Chiba nodded in response and got back to work. Thank goodness your work for the day was simple and nothing complicated. You were getting rather excited over this small thing which wasn't even a date. Way too excited. You managed to finish up every last piece of your work and so did Chiba. Once you made sure that everything was good to go, you and Chiba left.

The both of you made your way towards a nearby cafe to have your lunch. You paid for your own serving and Chiba paid for his. He ordered surprising little as well. A cup of coffee and a bowl of noodles. You ordered a cup of tea and the same noodles as Chiba, alongside a dessert. The date was quiet but you didn't mind it, Chiba was mostly looking down so you could admire him without being afraid of him catching you in the act. You wondered how his eyes looked like.

"Y/n, are you not hungry?" Chiba asked, after noticing that you barely took a bite of your food. He looked up from his meal to face you.

"Sorry I got distracted, thinking about work," you quickly replied. Chiba merely nodded.

"I admire your work attitude," he added.

"I think your's even better," you replied. "You literally helped me on your first day! It was an internship too!"

"I... erm... well," Chiba mumbled. "I thought that I should make a good impression since the lack of my eyes does otherwise..."

"Oh don't worry," you reassured. "You look good, it's quite attractive if you ask me."

Now why did you say that? Dang it. Hopefully he doesn't react too weirdly to that.

"You're fairly attractive too," Chiba complimented. This time, he looked back down at his meal... Was he shy? Well if that was the case, he wasn't the only one, you were kinda shy too. But not to the point where you can't even say a syllabus. Your heart was beating as fast as it possibly could because you were feeling nervous about this whole thing.

The both of you continued your meal in slience. It was well, obviously awkward. Chiba seemed nervous as well, his head barely looked up at you, leaving you wondering what was going on. Clearly he was hiding something, doesn't take a genius to realise that. You quickly finished your meal so that the day would be able to progress into something less boring. You wanted to see if Chiba had anything special in store for you, which you hoped there was.

"Do you... Want to leave?" Chiba asked the moment he finished his meal.

"Sure!" You quickly replied. "A walk in the park?"

Chiba nodded and the both of you headed off in the direction of the park. You tried to strike up some small talk but it didn't really lead anywhere, Chiba seemed way too shy for his own good. You enjoyed talking to people though, so this wasn't that bad, you could just start up a random topic and hope that it would get Chiba talking. That should work, right? He couldn't be that quiet. This would be a good time for you to know him better as well.

"So Chiba," you began. "What high-school did you go to?"

"Kunugigaoka," he replied with a small smile. That school must have met a lot to him.

You managed to make the small talk last, thank goodness it was less awkward now. He seemed really passionate about the things he enjoyed. It was adorable.

The more the both of you walked, the more you felt like someone was watching the both of you. It was a creepy feeling and you started to be even more aware of your surroundings, Chiba didn't seem to think the same way. He looked more relaxed. "Chiba," you nudged. "I have the feeling that somebody is watching us."

Chiba stopped in his tracks and looked around, "don't worry, we are safe. I know some self defense skills."

"Alright," you replied. His self defense skills better be good. Maybe you could ask him for some lessons. Chiba looked around for a while more, still keeping his seemingly relaxed expression. He definitely knew something that you don't but it doesn't seem to be that serious, or at least you hoped it wasn't. What if he was planning to rob you? That can't be the case, you weren't even rich, though you wished you were.

"Erm y/n?" Chiba mumbled. You could barely hear him.

"Something wrong?" You replied. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge."

"I uh...," Chiba mumbled. "Kinda like you..."

"Kinda?" You repeated. "That's... Nice."

"You don't like me?" Chiba asked, his expression visibly upset. "Sorry for—"

"Chiba, I do like you," you quickly blurted out before he finished his sentence. His eyes seemed to gleam as he turned to face you. His lips curled itself into a wide smile and you could only assume that his eyes had the same elated expression. You never saw his eyes, so you could only guess. Though you were pretty sure that your guess was right.

"Really?" asked the boy with overgrown bangs with curiosity and uncertainty.

You laughed for a second as you tried to make eye contact with him, hopefully you did. You couldn't tell, his eyes never revealed the answers you desperately needed.

"I didn't know that you would feel the same way," Chiba replied. "Since... My hair usually drives people away. Since they can't see my eyes but my eyes drives them away too."

You let out a soft chuckle which left the poor boy confused. "So you think that I would be scared? Come on, it's just hair, who would be scared?"

Chiba shrugged, "people did think that it was a bit weird. It doesn't help that I don't really talk to others as well."

"That's their problem," you replied. "You're fun person to have around!"

Chiba seemed to take the compliment well as you could see the edge of his lips slowly turn into a smile. His hand slowly brushed his hair aside, finally allowing you to catch a glimpse of his eye that many deemed terribly scary. "You have pretty eyes," You responded in awe. "I'm not lying."

Chiba seemed surprised at your words as his mouth opened in surprised. He stared at you for a second, at a complete and total loss of words. "Thank you," he finally uttered, smiling. A bit of his eye could be seen through the gaps of his hair and you grinned at the sight of it. You really loved his eyes.

The rest of the date went well. Chiba didn't talk much due to his shy nature but you hadn't mind, he still looked as though he was enjoying it, and you had asked if he was uncomfortable a few times. The date wasn't entirely silent, he did talk a few times when he mustered up the courage to talk to you. It seems that he was afraid to talk to you, which you found funny. You were really friendly so there wasn't much to be afraid about. But then again, people were upset about his eyes so people really can be scared over anything that exist.

The same feeling of being watched still loomed over you but you still enjoyed the date nonetheless. It had ended with the both of you watching a movie since you two had gotten tired of the constant walking and also needed some more entertainment other that watching people walk about. It was a boring sight, but you wouldn't mind watching Chiba walk up and about.

You would never find out about the fact that the day before, Chiba had confessed to his old classmates about him liking someone from work and some of them, worked overnight to find out all they could about you and made Chiba ask you out. They were hiding out, watching how the date went. Chiba himself only realised they followed him when you mentioned the feeling of being watched and he turned to see the hair, or the lack of hair, watching the both of you. That one particular stalker was crazy over girls. You were right about Kunugigaoka being special.

Why would it not?

#assassination classroom #chiba ryuunosuke #assclass #assassination classroom chiba #ansatsu kyoushitsu #one shot #awkward

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nehswritesstuffs · 1 year

Note

How come in some DW circles it’s considered wrong to say that 12 and Clara were intentionally written and performed as a romantic relationship and that this just gets misinterpreted or unnoticed?

So, uh, I was cleaning out my drafts and found a couple of DW/Whouffaldi meta-asks I answered but never published for some reason??? idk why but this has been sitting buried at the bottom of the drafts for, like, over a year and a half, and I feel it's important to post, all things considered. The other one will come later, but that one's only, like, half-done, so it's with any luck. This is going to be long and long-winded, so brace yourselves. There's notations.

So, the thing about Twelve and Clara is that there are many directions from which they got a lot of flack where they should not have, especially in comparison to other Doctor/Companion pairs. Getting to talk with younger fans who were not in fandom at the time, or with generally newer fans who have entered the game late, it is really a puzzle to them, whether they ship it or not, how and why this deep division took place. My perspective is obviously from someone who ships it, but also saw some absolute bullshit go down.

More under cut:

We had, in no specific order:

People wanting Twelve to be mean to Clara bc they hate her (????) and wanted her to be abused until she left

PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS dunking on Capaldi's age as though it's a bad thing (it's not)

People being really grossed out because there is a noticeable age gap between Capaldi and Coleman. Lots of blowback was based on how overdone and predatory older man/younger woman can be, which, true, but overdone and predatory Whouffaldi is not and there was more than nuance missed with this one

The same people from the point directly above forgetting this is a space-fantasy and that the 2000yo alien is making eyes at a 28yo adult, not the 800yo alien making eyes at a 19yo child, BECAUSE ONE OF THESE IS GROSS AND FOR SOME REASON IT WASN'T THE LATTER

Again, when people were writing PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS, they refused to acknowledge that there was even a hint of anything despite the fact that they supposedly both had eyeballs and watched s8/9

Multiple people involved with the show, including Steven Moffat and Jenna Coleman, said there was a deep and intense love between Clara and Twelve. Peter Capaldi basically said as much, but he was much vaguer, which I imagine is mostly because he is very much blissfully married and the awkwardness that might come with that. I don't blame him for such, and although it should be a non-issue, some people use that as backing against the Whouffaldi ship, which is very rude of them.

There were actually really intense ship wars in fandom during s8/9...? Like the Twelve/River fans were fcking fierce when it came to declaring that theirs was the superior ship(1), and then you get the Doctor/Master fans(2) and that entirely separate debacle. I honestly don't know how the Whouffaldi fandom would have survived had it not been for the PCap fandom in general, who were on average much less concerned with ship wars and much more concentrated on quenching their thirst.

There's more, but that gives you a taste into what's gone on. The biggest problem from all of this was that the people who were writing the articles and making the complaints and starting the wars were altogether a very small minority of people who watched the show. However, this tiny group of people, thanks to the specific platforms given to them, were extremely loud. They were able to join forces with the Not-My-Doctors who had long-ceased watching the show(3) to make a larger chunk of "fandom" than they really were, able to artificially inflate the noise, as the NMDs just trusted everything the group of what was essentially hate-watchers said was fact.

Let me tell you: entertainment media is largely interpretative and that was not fact.

With such a loud counter-presence, the Whouffaldi fandom was really sort of loathe to give up easy, and as they reexamined and revisited and overanalyzed the content, we were able to come to our conclusions time and time again. This kind of pissed off the hate-watchers and the NMDs and they dug in their heels. They took a storyline that pushed the definitions of what love is and, when all they have to say is "meh, it's possible, but not my cup of tea", there is repeated denial and insistence on the father-daughter angle(4) as the only angle to the point of being destructive. There were reasons as to why the show was doing poorly in the ratings during the Capaldi years, and it had nothing to do with Whouffaldi, or Capaldi, or Coleman, or Mackie, or Moffat or any of the other "usual suspects'" in a singular form.(5) That instead lies with the Beebus, which has been jerking around the show since 2009(6), and seems to be not doing that again, but ONLY in regards to the "new" showrunner(7) who's getting the show after Chibs and not anything else that's been happening post-2010.

All in all, Whouffaldi as a romantic ship is either seen as a delusional sicko fantasy, or one of the most shat-on romantic ships in the entire show, and to mention one of those opinions in a crowd of the other opinion means that you might just get your ass verbally handed to you. Yeah, it's all fiction and doesn't matter, but the amount of shit that's gone down because of it has drawn distinct lines in the sand and idk if anyone is willing to cross it right now... I mean, especially now, given everything that's happened and this is now a nine-year-old ship that hasn't been represented/acknowledged on-screen for years, but... yeah.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Auxiliary Notes

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

(1): My personal stance is that Twelve/Clara is the better of the two in general, but that the Twelve/River we got should have been loads better, and I want to know who it was who was making the final calls for THoRS (Moff or someone higher), because I did want to see Twelve/River, bc those actors are just really good, but that episode felt too much like a Monkey's Paw prank to be legit. Best THoRS ending should have been Twelve leading River to their table at the restaurant and there's Eleven, and he gets to spend the twenty-four uninterrupted years with River, but eh what do I know.

(2): As someone with siblings, as well as acknowledging how much weird sibling energy the Doctor and the Master exude over the multiple versions I've seen, please don't come at me with excuses for what would essentially be an incest ship. Just no. I love you all, but some of you are disappointing me with your sins.

(3) It is very common for certain NMDs to have stopped watching at the end of 2009, or, alternatively, after the Ponds left the show. These are often people who have dangerous settings on their nostalgia filters and low amounts of media literacy. This brand of NMDs often are fans of Ten and/or Eleven, claiming they're their favorite "because he's so quirky", despite the fact they were... not... that... quirky... really. Many of them also hate Moffat's writing for [insert reasons here], despite the fact when you ask them to list their favorite episodes, Blink and Girl in the Fireplace are in their top five. They also have an extreme overlap with the fans that the show is attempting to court back with The Second Coming of Russell, despite the fact those fans really be out there wanting more Ten/Wose when that is the horse that even its creator acknowledges has been beaten to death.

(4) I worry for you if you thought that eye-sex Twelve and Clara kept having was how fathers and daughters are supposed to behave. Did you see any glances like that between Twelve and Bill? No? Well guess what: TWELVE WAS BILL'S SURROGATE DAD. THERE'S YOUR FATHER-DAUGHTER STUFF RIGHT THERE.

(5) Ratings, which have been a garbage system of proving a television show's worth since recording via VHS became widespread(1), were effected way more by the fact that there was often shoddy advertising (as though all the budget for the next few seasons went into the 2014 World Tour marketing blitz), weird changes made to the broadcast times at short notice, and the fact that iPlayer/VOD/recordings aren't counted alongside people who tuned in when it was airing. While it's true that consumer watching habits are changing, and that's fine, but the shift was much weaker back in 2014-2016 and that's only the UK ratings. Other countries that got a stable broadcast schedule or people who simply binged tend to have a greater outward acceptance of Twelve, despite the fact their population also will contain NMDs of varying levels.

(5.1) It actually can be argued that the garbage nonsense about ratings has only really been a thing whenever it is most convenient for the people running the television network, considering there are shows that in the past have done poorly and were allowed to continue, and shows that were doing very well with a loyal fanbase and axed for no reason whatsoever, other than some whim of a higher-up at the company. Compare the American shows M*A*S*H (which was actually a disaster in the ratings to start) and Green Acres (which despite not being a top-30 program had enough of a loyal viewership that it should of been saved during the Rural Purge of 1971, but wasn't).

(6) I have reason to believe that the channel that is in charge is just a giant NMD in of itself since Tennant (first) left the show, despite the fact it's their cash cow, based on how they've been making moves deliberately meant to be divisive and tear the show down, all the way back to casting Matt Smith. How effective they were with each move is debatable, but yeah... there's a lot of ways you can say that the channel itself is an NMD, to the point it becomes less of a coincidence and more of an aggressive pattern.

(7) It still both disappoints me and does not surprise me how things have been going lately and it's part of why I'm over in my corner being petty and ignoring what's going on in canon, bc they can't even let Gatwa have his time to shine without being overtaken by overdone and overrated.

#replies #Greyface replies #I'm not going to tag the ship until later to keep it out of the tag #but yikes #I'm a white woman who grew up in a conservative household in the suburbs: I have an inner conspiracy theorist #instead of Q and OWW I have cryptids and how much the Beebus hates DW #much safer and saner that way #but... like... it's so fcking tiring #and although I still love this ship profusely the amount of shat on and ignoring that happens kinda got to me #so like fuck that

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b-ritney · 1 year

Text

Full disclosure this is like half of a draft I wrote about a month ago if it does well I might try to finish it.

sweaty summer smut based off that blurb I posted lmao

Shandi by Kiss, it's quoted in the story.

Eddie Munson x OC

+18 SMUT, WARNINGS below the cut

smut sooooo.... major pussy eating, fingering, Eddies just a FrEaK in da best way. Soft dom Eddie x switch-ish reader, p in v, sickening affection.... that's honestly the worst one for me bahaha..., cussing..... I think that's it. OH and shotgunning bc it's my favorite. hair pulling-ish

Summary: Lovesick couple having sex... teeny weenie plot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna's POV:

"Shandi, tonight must last us forever, Forever we say good night and go home But you know me very well and I know you You can't tell me" ---" It's fucking hot in here."

"Dammit, my panties were this close to dropping why'd you stop?" I laughed standing up from folding laundry on the floor to open my widows. "You should add Shandi into your next Corroded show, you sing soft rock so fucking well." I sighed dreamily, he chuckled sweeping back his curly bangs from his face and setting his guitar to the side.

"And you wear that dress sooo fucking well." He said as the breeze lifted my skirt to show my thin white cotton panties.

"Edddiiiiie." I blushed, lifting the window and quickly cocooning myself up in the pink polyester curtains. He smiled, to himself seeing the reaction he got out of me.

"Come here butterfly." I hid in the curtains a little longer buzzing from the nickname. I left the pink sash to flow gracefully in the breeze and padded my way across the cool hardwood to stand between his legs. He was quick to rest his chin in the valley between my breasts and grip the back of my thighs. "You really liked it?" He inquired, staring into my soul with his chocolatey eyes.

"I loved it." I said kissing the crown of his head, with my hands resting on his bare shoulders. "you are burning up."

"Why thank you, sweetheart."

"No-" I giggled, he was laughing right back at me, "you are ridiculous."

"Ridiculously in love with you." He drug his hand down the back of my left leg and bent my knee wrapping my thigh around his waist and then my right until I was seated comfortably in his lap. He fell back and rolled over pinning me beneath him, "seriously Annie... I fucking love you." He kissed my chest as I ran my hands through his hair, combing it back with my nails into a ponytail, he moaned when I pulled, making me tremble with laughter under his weight. I took the tie from my wrist and twisted his hair into a bun leaving some strands loose to fall in his face all sexy and disheveled. "Thank you baby." He kissed my lips one more time, standing up abruptly grabbing his guitar and walking across the room to rest it on a stand.

"Seriously... you're really gonna leave me high and dry like that?" I said as he ran his fingers over my cassette tapes, landing on one I couldn't quite make out, before closing it in the stereo and pressing play.

"Relax babe, didn't want to traumatize my baby that's all... besides I forgot, I brought you a gift."

"Let me guess...." I said giving him knowing eyes, sitting up myself.

"Packed nice and tight just for you," he said putting an expertly rolled blunt between his lips, trying to spark it with a zippo.

"I thought it was for me?" I said shoving his side lightly. He took the blunt between his fingers and posed sarcastically,

"Let me be romantic." he wiggled his eyebrows and put it back between his pillowy lips, he lit it on the next inhale. Taking a long drag forcing a shiver down my spine. He took it back between his fingers and gently lifted my chin to meet his lips, he slowly breathed out as I breathed in, plumes of smoke billowing out from between our lips. He bit my bottom lip and pulled back, releasing it as he stood back up. I flopped down dramatically on the mattress, throwing my arms above my head. He took another hit and leaned down to do it again. I've never been confident with french kissing, but Eddie somehow made it easy... like a well-practiced dance. He held my left cheek in one hand and laid the hand with the lit blunt over the edge of the bed. It was soft and slow and warm... so warm...that's when I opened my eyes, a ray of sunlight cast itself over our faces, when he pulled back I could see the honey accents and gold flakes in his eyes... he must have been seeing something similar,

"You're so fucking beautiful."

"You too." He reached above me and snuffed out the blunt on the brick outside my window, resting it on the windowsill.

"How you feeling?" He said smoothing my hair back. I nudged my nose against his,

"Like I need you."

"Good because I'm gonna give you me." he kisses my forehead, "Then I'll give you the world," he pecks both my cheeks, "and every fucking star in the sky." he kisses the tip of my nose, before taking my lips in his again, feverishly. He licked into my mouth and kissed across my jaw and down my neck. He snaked his hand down my torso dipping his pointer and middle finger between my legs. He rubbed softly over my panties, smiling triumphantly at the prominent wet patch he found there. I curled my head into his shoulder whimpering softly, it's been a while since we've been alone together, He halted his movements just letting his fingers rest there as he nudged the side of my face with his, "sensitive?"

"y-yes," I sighed, he kisses the side of my head, speaking softly, continuing his ministrations,

"I'm sorry baby, it's been too long...I won't tease you too much okay?" I nodded, pressing deeper into the crook of his neck. "Lay back and relax, deep breaths." God his affection turns me on... it's like he knows exactly what I need to hear... it's intoxicating. He kneeled between my legs, scrunching up my little sun dress, he leaned down and kissed my already sticky skin. He made his way from the tops of my thighs to my hips and kisses my clit over my panties making me whine, he grinned up at me from below continuing to kiss, lick and nibble his way back up to my face. "Can I take these off?" he asked, holding my hip and rubbing his pinky under the waistband of my soaked panties.

"please."

"Lift your hips for me sweet thing." He hooked his fingers on either side of my waist and pulled them down my thighs, licking his lips at the sight of the fabric sticking to my core. He stuffed them in the back pocket of his black jeans. Lifting my left leg all the way up to rest on his shoulder, holding down the other thigh firmly to make room for his shoulders. He pecked tenderly on the inside of my left knee, and laid down on his stomach, keeping my leg on his shoulder the whole way down. "Don't forget the window's are open."

"Wh-- fuuuck!" I looked down at him in just enough time to watch him lick a long agonizing trail up my center,

"That's why... Don't want all your neighbors to hear you get raptured."

"You are unbelievable," I laughed, kicking him lightly on the back with my heel.

"You taste unbelievable," he said, diving back in take another lick. He caught me off guard again and I fell back into the mattress trying not to scream. After that, he was hypnotized for the longest time, his head would periodically fall on the inside of my thigh and he'd rest his head there as he languidly made out with my clit. I wanted to grab his hair so bad, but it was kind of nice seeing him so undisturbed and pussy drunk, muscular back glistening from the heat.

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lol i left yall hanging ngl but i figured it was a good stopping point for now lmao

#stranger things eddie #eddie munson x oc #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson my beloved #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson st4 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things

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