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fitzs-trained-monkey · 1 year

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Ten Minute Blood Stain Removal

Requested by: @princess-charming-01 Your support means the world to me so I hope this lives up to your expectations. Keep being awesome, bestie!

Word Count: 11,000

Warnings: Some language, quite a few insults, ableism bashing, Kol being super sweet, and Bekah being the best friend ever

Summary: Rebekah was a good friend to you - the best, really. Klaus, well the two of you were by no means close but he trusted you and that was enough. Elijah always made sure you were paid well, which you appreciated. As for Kol? Well, you'd never met the guy and you didn't want to. You had enough problems in your life without a raging hedonist to upend your convictions. || Kol x reader || Here lies my Masterlist ||

Story Begins Below

Working as a housekeeper for the Mikaelson family was an… interesting profession to say the least. Although, when listening to your friends complain about how miserable their jobs were, at the very least you could claim that you never got bored at work. They always asked how that was possible, especially in your chosen profession, but they'd never believe you. Though, of course, that wouldn't matter anyway. It wasn't as if you could tell them why…

Not that you were complaining! Whining about your situation had never been your style, and your situation really wasn't bad.

Really.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't ideal, but this was New Orleans. There were plenty of jobs far, far worse in places infinitely less savory than the French Quarter. Honestly, you should have been more grateful. You hadn't exactly been raised in the best of districts so you were beyond lucky to get a private contract with such a prestigious estate and benefits-wise, you were living the dream. The members of the Mikaelson family were pretty chill (in a manner of speaking) for rich people, all things considered; the wages they paid you were generous, and the hours were reasonable, with a plentiful number of paid vacation days supplied (sometimes spontaneously with little to no warning). The job really only had one downside. But that was just it because, well…

Being employed by 4 original vampires is one hell of a downside.

That one big whopper of a workplace hazard also came with quite a few subsequent inconveniences but you were used to it by now. Fortunately, walking in on a pile of corpses is a thing that gets easier over time. Hell, after your 23rd stack of cadavers, you even stopped throwing up!

Admittedly, now that you looked back on it, the experience that was your discovery of the supernatural could have been a lot worse. You were lucky that only Rebekah was home at the time and that she was feeling a need for feminine companionship. You liked Rebekah. She was more emotionally conscious than Klaus or Elijah and you were grateful she had the patience and kindness to calm your hysterics before gently telling you what the hell was going on. Rebekah also had the decency to apologize when she explained the concept of compulsion to you and why she had to ensure your silence regarding the truth. It was for both your safety and theirs that you kept your mouth shut. You recognized that you didn’t really have a choice in the matter, but you appreciated that she presented it as if you did. After she finished, you felt alright enough to ask her - in all caution, if she would restrict your free will as little as possible. You didn’t want to end up like the other staff members who acted like little more than drones.

She agreed, admitting that it would be nice to have a friend around rather than another robot. Thus, she only compelled you not to reveal your knowledge of the supernatural to anyone outside the compound. Your emotions and mind remained your own and you counted yourself lucky. Had it been one of her brothers instead, you probably would have become another blood bag (Klaus) or a zombie (Elijah).

Though, you weren’t sure what Kol would have done. Rebekah's third brother hadn't been around much since you'd started working so you didn't really know him. You had only ever seen the guy once or twice and only in passing. Kol didn't pay you a lick of attention and you didn't exactly want him to either. Judging from the blonde vampire's description of her most troublesome sibling, he sounded… spontaneous at best and downright volatile at worst. You didn't need any more of that in your life - that was what your best friend was for. Rebekah was enough for you.

How the two of you became friends is a mystery you didn't think you would ever solve. She was just so much more than you would ever be - so much more interesting and beautiful and capable. Why she actively chose to spend her time with you was beyond your understanding. But the two of you had fun together and her vampiric nature didn't bother you as much as it should have. Besides, being friends with an original vampire did have its perks. Bekah was always there to look out for you - protect you - even from her brothers.

"Here comes the weekend!" You cheered, crossing one of the compound's many lounges on a particularly pleasant Louisiana afternoon, practically skipping as you went. Not including this space, you had one more room to clean. ONE MORE and then you were off!

Rebekah, who happened to be lounging on a sofa, immersed in her phone, glanced up, slightly baffled and significantly unimpressed.

"I hate to break this to you, but tomorrow's Thursday, lovely," She said gently.

"I don't care, it's my weekend!" You exclaimed, still cheering the words, fists raised high in the air.

She thought about that for a moment. "Touché. I suppose it is." Rebekah nodded. “Can’t believe it’s already Wednesday though. I swear it was Saturday just five minutes ago.”

“Oh yeah, and yesterday was June,” You teased. It was actually the middle of January but you’d discovered that vampires just had a really hard time keeping track of dates. Of the three vampires you thought you knew somewhat well, none of them could measure time for shit. Elijah was the best but even he had the annoying tendency to reference the fourteen hundreds like they were last week.

Rebekah just grinned and tapped her nose. “See? Now you’re getting it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Speak for yourself, blondie. This week’s been dragging on forever.” (You were proud to say that you were the only human alive who could call that girl “Blondie” and live to tell the tale.)

“Eh. You don’t know the first thing about forever,” She quipped, waving her hand dismissively, distracted once again by something on her phone. You just shook your head and chuckled, pulling out a cloth and some furniture polish as you got to work on the side table next to her. She absentmindedly lifted a potted plant off the wood so you could clean underneath.

Watching her do things like that still weirded you out. Held in a hand-crafted ceramic vase that you were pretty sure was an antique, it wasn’t as if that plant was some small succulent. The thing was a healthy bird of paradise shrub as long as your arm. Altogether, the decoration must have weighed thirty or so pounds (and cost more than your college tuition) yet Rebekah pinched the rim between two fingers and picked it up as if it were a feather. You finished polishing the table and moved on. Behind you, your friend dragged her eyes from her phone again and a frown curled her lips as she pushed herself to sit up. You didn’t have to look at her to know she was regarding you with a critical eye - it was only friendly though.

"You know, Y/N, if I didn't know better, I'd think you hated your job," She declared after a moment.

You tossed her a smirk over your shoulder as you dusted the mantlepiece. "I do hate my job."

"Oh, come off it!" She scoffed. "It's not as if we torture you!"

You turned around slowly, raising a brow. "Bex, your brother is literally painting with the blood of his enemies again.”

"Oh, bloody hell. Not again."

"Yes. Again. I swear, you walk into that studio and it's like somebody handed a toddler some suspicious lookin' finger paint!” You exclaimed, tossing your hands in the air. “And do ya know who has to clean up after him?"

"You?" She guessed timidly, her expression sympathetic.

"Ding! Ding! Ding!" You groaned, rolling your eyes as you put the last ornament back on the mantle. "If that's not the definition of torture then I don't know what is." You crossed the room to a door at the far end of the lounge, the one that led to your final room for the day. As you reached out to turn the handle, Rebekah's voice called you to a halt.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," She warned nonchalantly. You sighed deeply.

"Do I even want to know?"

"I doubt it."

"Figures, who was it?" You demanded. "Which pair of eyes do I need to spray some Windex into?"

The girl furrowed her brow, confused. "Did no one tell you?"

"Did no one tell me what?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest uncomfortably. You didn't like feeling uninformed.

"Kol's come back," She sighed, tone somewhat grim. "That's his handiwork in there. I counted twenty-two, you're welcome."

"Twenty two bodies?"

"Yup."

You pursed your lips into a line. No. Just, no.

"Yeah, not today Satan," You said with a dry grimace. "YO! GERRETTA!" The older maid wouldn't mind. You didn't think she could mind as you were pretty sure she'd already had a stroke and the only thing keeping her going was Klaus' compulsion. Either she’d clean up the ghastly mess in the room beyond or another one of the zombie staff would. If she responded to your yelling, you didn’t hear it. That was no surprise, however. Your hearing aids were good but they weren’t that good.

You glanced at the blonde girl expectantly and Rebekah spoke up. “Yes, she heard you.”

You nodded to her and called to the maid again. “GERRETTA, THE HALL OFF OF THE SECOND UPSTAIRS LOUNGE NEEDS SOME TLC!” You cast your eyes on your friend again.

“She says she’ll send Sofie up to take care of it,” The girl relayed. You thanked her with a thumbs up.

That was another thing you loved about her. Bekah had never thought of you as broken or in need of charity. To her, you were just like anyone else and deserved just as much consideration. She’d even asked you to teach her ASL, though she mostly used it to insult her brothers.

“Which one’s Sophie again?” She asked, squinting as if trying to remember but you doubted she had ever bothered to learn the staff’s names in the first place. You couldn’t exactly blame her - Sophie was another one of the zombies.

“Uh… Red hair? Nose piercing?”

“Oh, yeah…” Your friend mused absently. “I think she’s the one Kol likes…”

Your eyes widened and you swallowed harshly. For some reason, you doubted that it was your fellow maid’s personality that Rebekah’s brother had a fondness for. You liked Sophie, she was your friend… sort of. The family’s compulsion over its staff members was rendered entirely latent when the individuals left the compound - they were themselves again, just without any memory of the supernatural. They were all really great people, actually. Sophie was close to your own age; you had hung out with her a few times around the quarter. She was nice.

You desperately hoped that her blood wouldn’t be the next stain you had to remove from the upholstery.

You shook away the chill that dripped down your spine, jabbing your thumb towards that door and raising a brow as you faced Bekah again. "So, I take it somebody had a bad day?"

"No, actually that's the product of a good day, believe it or not," She mused, lips tight.

You didn’t know Kol - not really - and you weren’t typically one to judge others. However, while the Mikaelsons would usually dispose of the corpses themselves, blood stains were still miserable to remove from furniture. Not to mention the stench caused by internal organs spontaneously becoming external organs was almost harder to purge from a room than skunk spray. So sure, you didn’t know Kol, but he was setting quite the pretense with his behavior, and anything that served to make your job unnecessarily difficult didn’t exactly lend itself to improving your opinion of him.

"Yeah, your family sucks.” You huffed. “No offense."

"None taken."

"Good.

"Good."

"Guess that means I'm done for the day," You announced, trying to remain bright despite the looming sense of dread beginning to build in the back of your mind. Luckily, you were pretty good at ignoring your problems.

“Excellent! Now you can help me!” The girl smirked and patted the spot on the couch beside her. You faked a miserable groan as you moved to sit and she flipped her phone around, allowing you a glimpse at the beautiful deep green dress displayed on the screen. “What do you think about this?” She asked.

The article of clothing looked like it had to cost more than your entire apartment complex and you wondered if you would ever get used to the Mikaelsons and their ungodly wealth - or any aspect of them at all, for that matter. You probably wouldn’t.

“That would look gorgeous on you, Bex.” You hummed, smiling. “But then again, everything does so that’s not saying too much.”

It was very telling that, despite being infinitely older and more powerful than you, she still sought your opinion on clothes and looks. You often thought that Bekah wasn’t really one-thousand years old - rather, she’d just been seventeen one-thousand times. Because, although she snickered about it, waving you off, you could see a slight blush coloring her cheeks. Casual compliments did little to impress her, but honest ones always warmed her heart. So you gave them as often as you could.

“Its a blessing and a curse,” She hummed. “But, no, I was actually thinking for you, love.”

“Oh.” Your brows must have shot to the ceiling. “Well in that case, I wouldn’t be caught dead in it and it’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon.”

“Alright.” Rebekah shrugged, going back to scrolling. “I suppose I’ll simply have to find you something more expensive.”

“Wha- No! I can’t- Why would you- That’s insane! No!” You stammered, reeling with shock.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. This one’s really not that much,” The blonde scoffed.

“I saw the price tag,” You said, crossing your arms. “It’s like thirty thousand dollars.”

Though the girl kept talking as if she hadn’t heard you say that. “The jewels are only costume-”

“Glass may not be diamond but it ain’t plastic either.”

“The fur on the collar is synthetic-”

“Why is that a bad thing? Who are you - Cruella DeVill?”

“I’m looking at the sheer on it-”

“The what?”

“The see through layer covering the actual dress.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, anyway that part looks like organdy to me, so it’s not like its muslin or anything.”

“I may not know what either of those things are, but both of them sound more expensive than brain surgery.” You shot her a meaningful look that was supposed to be stern. As if you could chastise a one-thousand-year-old fashionista. “You can’t make any of this sound cheap.”

“Honeslty, Y/N! It’s not even made of silk!”

“Oh yeah?” You raised a brow, challengingly. “What’s it made of then?”

She licked her lips. “Cashmere.” You narrowed your eyes and pulled out your phone, laying back so she couldn’t see what you were doing. Google was your ally when dealing with Rebekah. “What is it? What are you looking at?” She demanded, craning her neck in an attempt to glimpse the screen. You didn’t respond and just leaned further away. A moment later, you flicked your eyes to meet her’s over the top of your phone.

“You do realize how that’s not better, right?” You criticized, giving her a flat look.

“It is if you have sense,” She mumbled, though not so softly that you couldn't hear. You appreciated that. It always made you insecure when you couldn’t hear what another person was saying about you, especially when that person claimed to be your friend. You’d been burned before by fake nice girls, but Bekah was different. She was the most genuine person you’d ever met.

You snorted, stretching out. “Dude, you’re talking to someone who’s definition of splurging is dinner at Applebee’s followed by a DQ shake.”

“Alright, it’s official: You’re impossible.” She huffed, tossing her phone onto an armchair across the room.

“I’m impossible?” You questioned.

“You’re the only person I know who would rather wear a bloody polyester t-shirt than a cashmere dress!” The blonde girl rubbed her temples, feigning exasperation.

“I fail to see how that’s a problem.”

“And that in itself is the problem.”

“No it’s not!”

Bekah turned to watch you and her expression grew somewhat weary. You regarded her curiously and a few heartbeats passed before she spoke again. “You know, I honestly sometimes wonder how we’re friends,” She said, sounding more than a little morose. “You must think me so shallow.”

“You’re not shallow,” You started. She shot you a doubtful look and you rolled your eyes, tossing an arm around her shoulder. Insecurities are the worst so you hugged her tight. “Seriously, Bex. You’re not. You’re a person, and I don’t think people can be defined by some callused label we slap on them to explain a few behaviors. Sure, you can be blunt, but it’s only honest and I like that about you. Sure, you like dresses and makeup and all those sorts of things, but that doesn’t make you vain. You find beauty in the things around you and in yourself. Gotta be honest, I’m a little jealous of that.”

She smiled softly, shaking her head but she didn’t meet your eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

“You know me, Bex. You know I don’t just say things for the hell of it.” You stooped down to meet her gaze, forcing her to look at you. “I’m not gonna say that you’re reserved or something because you’re not. You’re easily the least frugal person I know, but that doesn’t make you conceited. I mean, you pass hundred dollar bills to every street musician you pass and I think back to just last month; the day before Christmas Eve, you went out and bought dinners for every homeless person on the streets of the French Quarter - just because you could. That doesn’t sound too shallow to me.”

You smiled gently and she returned it.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.”

“You’re welcome,” You said. “It’s still a no on the dress though.”

The blonde girl gave a slight chuckle, faking a pout. “Why not?”

You sent her an incredulous look and leaned back on the couch, closing your eyes. “Be honest with yourself, girl. Where, when, and why the hell would I ever need to wear something like that?”

“My family is holding a winter gala here in about a week or so. You could wear it there.” She suggested.

“Things like that are only fun if you have a date,” You pointed out.

“Those are rather easy to come by, so I’ve heard,” Bekah sang, nudging your shoulder.

You snorted. “For you maybe. You’re gorgeous, rich, fun, and you like people.”

The girl made a rather unladylike noise in rebuff. “Come on, love. You know its time you start putting yourself out there.”

“Do I know that?” You mused.

“Yes.”

“Well that’s a surprise, considering the magic eight ball I asked yesterday said Hell No.”

“Hell No isn’t even an answer on one of those things,” She insisted.

“Then it must have really meant it.”

“Why are you so against trying to find someone?” She wondered, sitting up to watch your expression.

You smirked. “Because relationships are icky, and boys have cooties.”

The girl smacked your knee lightly. “That’s not true, and you know it. You just have to find the right one,” She said.

“I already have,” You pouted childishly.

“Yes, but I’m taken and Sean Connery is dead,” She quipped without missing a beat.

You tapped your heart. “Not in here he’s not.”

Rebekah groaned, tossing her head back in defeat. “You really are impossible.”

“Then give up on me.”

“Any sane person would,” She said. “But unfortunately for you, I believe in love.”

“Ah, so you admit that love is otherwise unlikely to befall me!” You laughed.

“That is not what I-”

“It’s called sophism, honey.”

Rebekah huffed. “That’s it! I’m buying you dinner.”

“Wait, what? A wicked grin split your friend's face and you held up your hands. "No… No! Down Bekah! You're not buying me anything - not this time. Down girl!"

Suffice it to say that her will was stronger than yours that day and that's how you found yourself curled up on the couch of her family's home theater, cuddling a wooly mammoth plush that you had named Lieutenant Nose. After several hours of window shopping, you were more than relieved when she invited you back to her house for a movie night. The two of you had decided on watching the best film of all time. A.K.A The Princess Bride.

"What kind of name is Buttercup anyway?" Rebekah wondered, tossing a couple of pieces of popcorn into her mouth.

"What kind of name is any name?" You countered, shrugging. “What makes a name good or bad?”

"Whether or not it starts with Inigo and ends with Montoya," She replied immediately, holding out her hand for a high five.

"Right on!"

Both of you glanced at each other and grinned.

"Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die!" The two of you quoted in unison. You reached forward to "stab" your friend, quickly dodging her attempt to do the same. You had to roll off the couch to avoid her but managed to pop up and poke her right between the ribs.

"Ha! I win!"

She rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the couch. You opened your mouth to tease her again but someone cut you off.

"Dearest sister, I can't believe this-" A voice like milk chocolate and silk sounded from the doorway, perfectly complementing the pair of eyes that met yours when you pushed your tangled H/C hair out of your face and turned towards the sound. "-you've slighted me!”

Your entire body froze. Of all Rebekah’s siblings, the least human-friendly one now stood just across the room from you. That distance was nothing to a vampire. He could cross the floor and have his teeth buried in your throat in the blink of an eye.

So, you didn’t blink.

You just stared at him, eyes wide and muscles tense. To your right, Rebekah looked ready to throw herself in front of you.

“Get out, Kol,” She ordered, clearly annoyed. The boy at the door shrugged.

“I’m afraid I just can’t do that,” He said regretfully, though not an ounce of that reluctance showed on his face as he leaned against the door frame. “Not until you pay me due recompense that is.”

Wow… You- you really liked his voice. You had seen the guy before but you’d never talked to him. This was the first time you’d ever heard him speak and that voice was downright enchanting. You felt like you could listen to him talk for hours. The boy’s voice was smooth and warm - comforting. The sound lulled you into a security that logically, you knew you really shouldn’t have felt in his presence.

Kol was also super cute now that you got a good look at him. With dark hair and dark eyes and a smile that had no right to be as innocent as it appeared, his entire presence felt like a trap and you could practically feel yourself stepping into it.

This guy ate twenty-three people in one day, you tried to remind yourself. The notion didn’t much help because your brain just could not connect this boy to that gruesome massacre.

“I don’t owe you anything,” Rebekah said, crossing her arms and glaring.

“That’s where you’re wrong." He grinned. His eyes flicked to you and there was this look in them. Kol looked hungry.

Oh, bloody freaking mother of pearl. You were screwed.

Your friend sighed, rolling her eyes. Clearly, her brother didn’t plan on giving up. “What are you talking about, Kol?”

The predator at the door clasped his hands behind his back, smirking in a rather self-satisfied way. “There has been a betrayal committed,” He announced. “A heavenly vision sits on the floor before me and you’ve neglected to tell me her name. Honestly, I’m offended.” Kol shifted his dark chocolate eyes to your face and smiled in what you were sure he thought was a charming way. “Hello, darling.”

Sure, the expression was cute but you didn’t care for it. That smile only served to make you feel small and insignificant, like the prize won from a five-dollar carnival game - amusing, tiny, and something he intended to leave broken in a day or two.

“This is Y/N. She’s my friend and she’s off limits,” Bekah sneered.

Kol rolled his eyes. “Why must you always think the worst of me, sister?”

“Because you always give me a reason to,” She snapped. “Go find yourself a different toy.”

Kol’s gaze remained fixed solely on you. “I don’t think I will.” Then he sauntered across the room and threw himself onto a sofa a few feet away. He glanced up with a cheeky smile directed at your friend. “Relax, Bex. I have every intention to be nice to this radiant angel. No need to be so overprotective.” His tone, let alone his expression, was anything but sincere.

White-hot anger boiled up inside of you as you watched Kol smirk. He wasn't impressed or fascinated with you. The boy had never spared you so much as a glance before now. To him, you were just a new face - one he couldn't recall killing or spending a night with before. The only appeal you held was that of novelty. This act of his was just that. Sure, it was a good display, but ultimately it only spoke to just how self-obsessed he was. Rebekah's observation had been right. You were nothing more than a toy in his eyes - one he craved to break.

Rebekah’s mouth twisted into a scowl. “There’s no such thing as overprotective when it comes to you,” She hissed lowly.

Grinding your teeth, you spoke up. “Don’t worry, Blondie. I’m sure he’ll lose interest the second he realizes I’m on the housekeeping staff.” You narrowed your eyes at the boy as you climbed back onto the couch and smiled thinly to show him that you were onto his little game.

"I hope so," She muttered, wrapping an arm protectively around your shoulders.

"I wouldn't count on it!" Both of you glared at him and Kol just shrugged. "Although, since you are on the house staff, would you perhaps make some of that popcorn stuff for me?" He bit his lip to hold back a cheeky grin. However, those puppy-dog eyes of his did nothing to encourage your determined hatred of him.

You smiled sweetly. "Absolutely not, sweetheart."

"Aw… Why so mean, love?" He whined dejectedly.

"Because you have your own pair of legs for that,” You snipped, your voice measured and crisp. You would have to be careful around this one. He was tricky. You were pretty sure his puppy eyes weren’t even on full power and you already found yourself struggling to say no to him.

Kol's lips twitched up at the corners and he tilted his head. "Really? That's odd because I could have sworn my family pays you for something…"

"That they do." You nodded. "Except, I'm currently off the clock, so professionally speaking, I'm not here. I.E. get off your ass and get some yourself, please and thank you."

Kol blinked. "Fair enough." Then, he got up and left the room, presumably headed for the kitchen.

Rebekah turned to you, eyes wide. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen someone win an argument with him," She said, clearly impressed.

"Really?" You chuckled, quite pleased with yourself.

"Well he argues like an asshole so winning is usually impossible."

"Huh." You tossed another piece of popcorn into your mouth. "Kudos to me then."

"Just don't let him charm you, alright?" She sighed, leveling you suddenly with a degree of seriousness you rarely saw in her. "I know my brother. He's just looking for entertainment - nothing more."

"You don't have to worry about me, Bex. I'm fully aware that no one would actually want to flirt with me."

"No, that's not what I-"

"Let's just watch the movie, yeah?" You didn’t mean to be terse but the words came out harsher than you’d intended them.

"A-alright." The girl’s shoulders slumped and you could tell she was upset with herself.

You smiled and took her hand to show the girl that you weren't mad. This just wasn't something you wanted to talk about, not when Kol could hear you just a few rooms away. So, the two of you continued your movie without interruption until Kol returned about fifteen minutes later with a bowl of popcorn.

"What took you so long?" You wondered offhandedly.

The boy adopted what one might call a sheepish expression. "I may have burnt it… twice." He flopped onto the sofa again. "So, what’s this movie you girls are watching?"

"The Princess Bride," You answered smiling when you caught him grimacing.

"That's not one of those Chick-Flick shows is it?"

"Yes!" You exclaimed readily. The lie, however, was ruined by Bekah, who answered at the same time.

"Absolutely not, I couldn't get Y/N to watch one of those with me if I paid her," She said. You sighed, pinching your nose and her eyes widened. “Oh, you wanted to-” You nodded. “Oh…”

Kol shifted on the couch to look at you, eyes gleaming like a satisfied cat's. "So is it any good?"

You rolled your eyes. "Uncultured swine," You signed to your friend. You were only now rethinking your decision to insult Kol aloud as you’d done earlier. She laughed and nodded.

"Oi!" Kol's somewhat indignant shout caught your attention and you whipped your head around to look at him. Then, to your great surprise, he signed back. "Say that to my face, why don't you?" What was even more impressive was his hands were quicker and more precise than his sister’s and you’d been teaching her for a while.

Your jaw must have hit the floor and stayed there because it was Rebekah who reacted first. She paused the movie and rounded on him.

"Since when do you know sign language?" She demanded, both stunned and accusing.

Kol shrugged. "Since before Alexander Graham Bell was a prick, I suppose." You couldn’t help but laugh, nearly spilling some of the soda you’d been drinking.

"That must have been before he was born, then," You hummed, unable to resist bashing the famous inventor.

"Precisely." Kol grinned and you felt something in your stomach attempt amateur gymnastics. Okay… so perhaps you'd been a little hasty in your judgment of this boy. Maybe he didn’t mean to sound superior or insincere. Perhaps he was just genuinely playful. Maybe he wasn’t actively trying to goad you into a snare. Perhaps that flirtatious attitude was simply his default setting. Maybe there was more to him than just Rebekah's warnings.

But no. Those thoughts were dangerous, not to mention presumptuous. His sister had just warned you about this exact thing! So, you tried to push those butterflies down, but it would seem that they refused to obey.

Trying very hard not to blush, you faced your friend with a raised brow as you stuffed more popcorn in your mouth. "You know, ya’ never told me he didn't suck."

The ferocity of the blonde girl's glare increased as if she were trying to will a white oak dagger to spontaneously put her brother on a time-out. "No. I didn't."

"It's because she's jealous," Kol said in a stage whisper.

"Oh, I see," You whispered back.

“She goes to school and I’m the one who learns things.” He sighed with faux remorse, shrugging. “I just can’t help it.”

“Makes sense.” You nodded sagely. "Thank goodness she can't hear us when we talk like this."

Your friend crossed her arms, miffed. She waited for you to look at her again. “You should really know by now, that I can, as a matter of fact, hear you. Loud and clear.”

“I think she’s onto us, love,” Kol whispered again. He shot you a wink.

Rebekah rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Bloody hell, what an astute observation!”

You held a hand to your chest and, with an obnoxious scream, you vaulted yourself over the back of the couch. “Quick, Kol! Hide! We’re safe if she can’t see us!”

“Oh, okay.” He too let out a laughably high-pitched scream which was followed by a loud thud and though you couldn’t see what happened, you were willing to bet that was the sound an original vampire makes when it jumps a sofa. "This floor is remarkably clean," He noted a moment later.

"You should lick it."

"Tempting, but I'd rather not."

Your best friend groaned. “You know, you’re not clever. Either of you.” She was really trying to sound annoyed but you knew her. The trembles of repressed laughter showed through her voice. That girl never got mad at you because you always knew precisely how long to keep a gag running.

“Geez, Bekah. You’re so mean!” You called from behind the couch. “I thought we were friends.”

“I thought so too!” She lamented. “I thought it was us against the world - girls versus boys. You agreed with me about him not five minutes ago, but you’ve swapped sides.”

You flushed and you were grateful neither of them could see. She had a point but you just… you couldn’t help liking Kol. Now that you actually spared him your bias, his good humor was just too easy to fall into.

"I know, I know…” You hissed. Then you popped back up from your hiding place and leaned on the back of the couch. “But he speaks the language of allies." You spared a glance toward where Kol had been sitting earlier to find that only his legs were visible now, sticking out from behind the sofa. You rolled your eyes.

"If hating on ableists is all it takes to earn your trust, then I wasted a lot of effort." Rebekah frowned.

You shrugged. "I fail to see how that's a personality flaw."

"Oh, it's not." She gestured to her brother. "You're just making it way too easy on this idiot."

“Well, in Y/N’s defense -” Kol spoke, picking himself up off the floor. “- I am a lot more fun.”

"You wish," The two of you said in tandem. The boy just shrugged, chuckling to himself and Rebekah pressed play on the movie.

Kol ended up staying for all of it, much to your chagrin. When the film ended, you cast a glance at the clock only to realize that it was past eleven.

"Holy crap!" You exclaimed. "I gotta-"

The blonde cut you off. "You're not going home this late, love."

"But I-"

"I rather prefer my best friends un-eaten." She sent you a hard look and even though you agreed with her, you knew there would be no changing that girl's mind.

You shrugged. "Yeah, okay. But I'm not sleeping in your room."

Rebekah tossed her head back, laughing at the memory. "What? Did you not have fun last time?" She teased, nudging your shoulder.

"No. No, I did not."

Kol raised a brow, intrigued. "What happened last time?"

You shuddered, gagging obnoxiously and his sister just laughed harder, nearly slipping off the couch. "Marcel! He-He snuck into my room in the middle of the night an-and then-" You tossed a blanket over her head to stop her from finishing the story but she was laughing too hard to do so anyway.

"We're not reliving that!" You declared as Rebekah struggled to find her way out of the blanket.

"Oh, but your face!"

"Nooooo!" Grabbing a throw pillow off the couch, you tossed it at her head and she finally fell off the seat, shaking with giggles.

"Well now, if you're not staying with Bex, you can always join me." Kol smirked, meeting your eyes. His were darker somehow than they'd been before - obsidian instead of chocolate - and filled with a thinly veiled hunger that told you some part of him was serious.

Your insides twisted but you couldn’t tell if you were flattered or terrified. Those eyes were intense, smoldering. Were you supposed to run or step closer? Settling yourself, you pressed your lips into a line, crossing your arms over your chest uncomfortably. That was it, you decided. He just made you uncomfortable. That was what you felt.

Nothing else.

"I think one of the guest rooms will be just fine, but thanks anyway," You said.

“Are you sure?” The dark-haired boy leaned forward. His hair must have been so soft but why were you thinking about that? “At the very least, I can promise to keep you warm, darling."

The way that pet name rolled so easily off his tongue prompted a rush of color to your cheeks. He made it sound endearing but you couldn't determine if he meant it or not. That was the problem with this flirtatious guide of his - somehow it was both sweet and menacing. Should you be afraid or should you go along?

Rebekah’s laughter ceased and a frigid tension began to build in the atmosphere between the siblings.

“Nah,” You waved a hand, shifting nervously as your cheeks reddened and your bones shuddered. What were you supposed to do with this? “I-I have, uh, restless leg syndrome. I’d kick you.”

That smile that split his lips next was a sharp, ravenous thing. Kol licked his lips. “Oh, I wouldn’t mind a few bruises, sweet thing.”

You swallowed thickly, crushing your folded arms against your stomach as if you might squash the butterflies if you pressed hard enough. Everything - your whole body - felt cold and hot and itchy. You felt the urge to squirm but you didn’t feel a need to leave. You didn’t know what this was. You couldn’t figure out what he was trying to do!

Thankfully, Bekah was there to save the day. Your friend stood off the floor and pulled you up by the arm. "Alright, that's enough socializing for tonight, I think."

"Aww, sister," Kol pouted. "Taking her away from me so soon? We've barely gotten acquainted."

"Then I stand corrected," The girl sniped. "That's more than enough socializing." She turned on her heel and walked quickly towards the door, tugging you along. Were you grateful or reluctant?

For whatever reason, most likely one you couldn't explain, you glanced back as you followed her, meeting Kol's eyes for a moment. He smiled for you. "Goodnight, Angel." He signed. Those movements seemed soft - the words, sweet to your eyes. The boy waved and you turned away as quickly as you felt yourself blushing.

This was not a wise inclination on your part.

When you arrived at the door of one of the guest rooms, the one closest to Rebekah’s, you stopped and turned to your friend, twisting a nervous hand around and around your wrist. She regarded you questioningly, raising a brow. The last thing you wanted to do was offend her, but… you had to make sure. You were just housekeeping - that was it. You were just some dirt-poor kid from the warehouse district, dreaming of the day you’d have enough money to go to college. You didn’t matter. No one would care if you were simply gone tomorrow. Perhaps Rebekah would - perhaps your friend would shed a tear or two - but she’d get over it.

She took your hands, stilling their frantic rubbing, and looked you in the eyes. Rebekah may not always be the most considerate person in the world but she cared so, so deeply. You could read that in her soft blue eyes.

“What is it, Y/N?” She asked quietly.

“Bex…y-your brother,” You started carefully, pausing to gauge her reaction. She didn’t draw back or glare. No, she just held your eyes. You took a deep breath. “He's not gonna… do anything… right?”

The blonde girl smiled softly and shook her head. You were actually taller than her by a solid two or three inches so she had to reach up a bit to hug you, but it was actually more comforting that way because you could just throw your weight on her shoulders, knowing she’d hold you up like the tempest battered rock she was. “He wouldn’t dare,” She promised, whispering in your ear. “Despite his reputation, there are lines Kol will not cross. My brother may be a blunt, impulsive ass, but - underneath that flirtatious mask - there’s an entirely different blunt impulsive ass who happens to be something of a gentleman.” You snickered and pulled away, smiling gratefully.

“Thanks, blondie. I-I guess I just-”

“You don’t have to explain, dear. I get it.” Rebekah let her arms fall and took hold of your hand again, squeezing. “You’re safe here. I promise.” Then she let go.

“That's good to know,” You said, reaching for the door handle.

“Besides,” Your friend added, her tone significantly cheekier. “If Kol so much as laid a finger on my best friend, I’d string him up by his-”

“OKAY, Bex. I got the picture!” You exclaimed, holding your hands out to cut her off. She just grinned and flounced down the hall to her room because the bedrooms in that place were big enough to be hotel suits. “Say hi to Marcel for me when he inevitably drops by.” (Though you would never admit it, you thought those two were cute together. They were so in love it almost made you sick.)

The blonde rolled her eyes, blushing just a tad. “Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Y/N.” She moved to escape your teasing but you stopped her again.

“Wait, actually, don’t. Do not, under any circumstances mention my name while you two are… studying anatomy.”

Your friend blushed fiercely. “Goodnight!” She squeaked forcefully, before rushing into her room and closing the door behind her. You snorted, pleased with yourself, and entered your own room, quickly readying for bed. You drifted off sometime later, thinking about black holes and the relativity of time.

Around three A.M, you woke again. See, you had this habit of doing that. You often found yourself lost in thought while you worked and ended up skipping meals during the day. Thus, after dark - specifically around three in the morning - you would get so hungry that your body woke itself up. Midnight snacks were technically awful for you, but you figured you could worry about that when you were forty or something.

So you got up, dawned just one of your hearing aids because you were lazy and tired, you and slipped on one of Rebekah’s bathrobes, though you didn’t bother tying it, you were too groggy for that. It wasn’t like you slept naked or anything - this was the middle of January; therefore you wore a t-shirt and sleep shorts because this was also Louisiana. Slipping out of your room, you made your way through the maze of halls and servant’s passages that wound through the compound like a human’s circulatory system, determined to make it to the kitchen. It wasn’t as though you could get lost. No, you knew that house like the back of your hand - probably better.

You padded down a staircase barefoot, and though it was unlikely any of the tenets were up, you tried your best to remain as silent as possible. Such a tactic turned out to be mostly useless as, in passing by Klaus’ studio where he was still painting, he noticed you and waved. Did that man even have a sleep schedule? You stilled, wondering whether you should wave back. Knowing him, the hybrid would probably demand to know why it was that you were up and about so late.

He called out to you, just barely loud enough for you to hear but not quite loud enough for you to understand.

“What was that?” You asked in a whisper as you appeared in the doorway.

“Are you sleep walking again, love?” Klaus signed, smirking amusedly. You blushed fiercely - yeah, that had happened once or twice at your frequent sleepovers.

“Nope,” You whispered back. “Just… prematurely ruining my metabolism.”

He huffed a small laugh. “In that case, carry on.” His movements were dramatic and the teasing only made you blush all the more.

“Yep. Thanks.” You rushed away before he could say anything else.

When you arrived at your destination, the room was shrouded in darkness though you didn’t bother flipping on the light. The light from the fridge would suffice. Opening it, you inspected your options. The Mikaelson’s kitchen was kept stock more as a convenience to them rather than out of any real need and Rebekah had firmly insisted that you help yourself to whatever you felt like, whenever you felt like it. Now, you’d never been one to turn down free food, so you readily took advantage of the offer. Their family had too much money anyway.

You decided that anything you couldn’t read the label of was Elijah’s, and you’d been told by the blonde herself that Rebekah writes her name on anything she intends to eat. Klaus, you were pretty sure, just lived entirely on pretzels, chicken tenders, hot sauce, and alcohol - which was mildly disturbing more than anything - and once again, you had no inkling as to Kol’s preferences. Thus, inspecting the contents of the fridge, you found an unmarked box of cheese quesadillas and figured they’d be safe to eat. You pulled them out, humming to yourself.

"Well, this is awkward."

You nearly jumped out of your skin, dropping the box of quesadillas. The words were soft, barely registering in your hearing aid and you had no idea where it had come from. So startled were you by the voice from the darkness that the scream in your chest became lodged in your throat. You stood there frozen, searching frantically through the black veil of the night for the all too lovely boy whose clever tongue commanded that sweet melody. You couldn’t see him. Fear - wild and sharp - rose within your chest, crawling into your heart, and diffusing in your blood as your pulse thrummed faster. You tried to remember what Rebekah had said about you being safe, except you didn’t because your thoughts were entirely paralyzed. In the darkness and the cold, slightly drafty kitchen of that house, you thought you could feel the horrifying sensation of a vampire breathing down your neck. With a burst of movement you hadn’t even thought about, you raced to flip on the lights.

You blinked, shaking with fright as you scanned the room. Confused, you glanced all around, even behind you. Yet, Kol was nowhere to be found.

Were you going mad?

Then you gasped as, seemingly by its own volition, the refrigerator door swung shut. There, atop the counter previously hidden by it, sat Kol. The two of you stared at each other for a moment and you were surprised to realize that there wasn’t an inkling of malicious intent visible in his expression. If anything he just looked amused and a little… embarrassed?

You quickly noticed why.

The had in his lap a tub of ice cream and a carton of Oreos. But he wasn’t eating them separately. Judging off of the indents in the ice cream and the cookie in his hand which had a glob of the desert slathered over it and dripping between his fingers, you figured he must have been using the Oreos to like a spoon with which to eat the ice cream. It was ingenious if not oddly horrifying.

You opened your mouth to demand answers but you weren’t sure what you would ask. A jumble of nonsensical syllables escaped your mouth instead. "Wha- How are you- I mean that’s just… WHAT???"

Kol glanced down at the deserts in his lap and then back up at you.

"I have a problem,” He said flatly.

You blinked and nodded. "A few, yeah."

Another few seconds passed between you, spent with mutual wide eyed stares. Your brain was still fogged with sleep and running far too slowly to comprehend everything you were feeling at the moment. As for Kol, he just shoved the cookie in his mouth and downed it as fast as he could before you got too judgy.

“I am so confused,” You muttered, watching him lick ice cream from his fingers. He looked you dead in the eye the whole time. You swallowed thickly. Why did that make you blush?

“Understandable.” The boy put the lid back on the ice cream container. "How about you and I just… forget you ever saw this?" He suggested.

"I wish I could."

He frowned, lifting an eyebrow. “You’re not entirely innocent here either, darling.”

“What?”

He gestured to the box quesadillas at his feet. You glanced down.

“There’s an explanation for that,” You claimed. The desire to curl up in a hole to hide was strong, but you resisted. Kol gestured for you to continue. "Well, you see I'm a terrible human being and I've resigned to that fact."

The boy’s defensive expression broke into a grin and he laughed, a sweet melody on your ears. “You don’t seem so bad to me,” He said.

“No offense or anything, but I don’t think you’re an accurate judge of personal morality or ethics.” You yawned, rubbing some of the sleep from your eyes.

“You have a point there.” Kol smirked and hopped off the counter, taking a small step closer. His eyes flicked over your figure. “Oh, now you’re just showing off.”

“Excuse me?”

That amused smirk morphed into a cheeky grin and he shrugged, dragging a hand through his hair. “Well, you can’t just walk around with a figure as tempting as yours and expect me not to notice,” Kol mused.

Glancing down, you realized that your pajama shorts didn’t exactly cover as much as you would have liked. Their minimal length gave the dark-haired boy an unobstructed view of your legs and left rather little to the imagination. He may have been a vampire, but he was still a boy. Your cheeks grew hot and you knew he’d be able to see under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen. Although, oddly enough, you found that you weren’t exactly mad at him for noticing… or for looking at you that way at all. Did you want him to? Did you like having his attention?

“Oh, um…” You didn’t know what to say to that. “Thank you, I guess?”

“Thank you for being so beautiful.”

You frowned, forcing a laugh. “I’m like… the definition of average, but okay.”

“What makes you say that?” He wondered. Those eyes - amber now, not obsidian or chocolate, but amber and warm - narrowed with something that looked like concern. The boy drew two steps closer. Should you stay or run? “You’re gorgeous, darling. Don’t tell yourself otherwise.”

The way he said it was different this time. His words didn’t have the same razor sharp edge to them and his eyes held none of that darkness and hunger that had been there before. Now the words just seemed honest. It was almost as if he were someone else - he was still Kol just… softer now that no one else was around. He seemed warm and you felt a sudden urge to curl up against him and go back to sleep.

Blushing, you shook your head and looked at the ground. It wasn’t that you thought he was lying, you just didn’t believe him.

He moved closer to you again, slowly. Almost as if he were testing how close you would allow him. The boy was only half an arm's length away now, close enough to touch. Close enough to taste you if he wanted, but would he?

Kol reached out and rested a hand on your shoulder with a feather touch. You stiffened but you didn’t tell him no. You didn’t run away.

“You know, I was actually hoping I’d have the fortune of finding myself a moment alone with you,” He quietly admitted. His hand slid down your arm, smoothing over your skin.

Your eyes snapped up, widening. You shouldn’t trust this boy. You should run.

“Why?” Your voice shook but at least it was there. You could tell him no if you needed to and Rebekah had said - she had promised that Kol would respect you.

A flash of realization flickered over his expression and he drew his hand back. “I’m sorry, darling. That was inconsiderate, wasn’t it? Sometimes with the way you act its…” He smiled but it wasn’t cheeky or sarcastic. It was a little sad. “Its just hard to remember that you’re terrified.”

“I-I’m not scared of you…” The words were lies and there was no way he wouldn’t see it. Kol raised a brow and took another step closer. You instinctively countered the movement to put some space between you, contradicting yourself instantly. That sad smile made another appearance. You cursed yourself for being so inherently cowardly. You’d worked for these people for eight months and not one of them had made so much as a motion to harm you. They fed off of the other housekeepers, but they’d never touched you. For Klaus or Elijah it probably had something to do with their fear of Rebekah’s wrath but…

With the way Kol was looking at you, maybe he had a different reason.

“It’s okay that you’re scared,” The boy said, shrugging a little. “That’s only natural. Fear is wisdom in the face of danger, so really it just means that you’re smart.” Had he said that a little differently, it would have sounded like a threat but the timbre was that of a compliment.

“Not smart enough, apparently,” You breathed.

Kol tilted his head, frowning. "Not smart enough for what?"

"Well I just can't seem to figure out what you really want from me." You crossed your arms and pressed them tightly against your body. Perhaps you were trying to hold yourself together. Kol's mere presence had you torn between emotions.

He seemed surprised by your answer as though he'd expected you to skirt around such a direct confrontation. He blinked and you thought you imagined just the slightest twinge of pink in his cheeks as rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip, mulling over his response.

"I want to know you," He decided. "I want to learn all that you are and I want you to know me. I want to rid you of this fear - purge it from you slowly, pluck it from your bones piece by piece until the day comes when you'll let me hold you."

"You…" Your voice trailed off as you struggled to grip such a concept. "You don't want my blood?"

The boy smiled thinly but you watched a tragic bitterness flicker over her face. "I wish I could lie and say I didn't, but truthfully it was the first thing that drew me to you. " He shook his head, ashamed. Then those amber eyes flicked upward, meeting yours meaningfully. “But I’ve decided not to take it.”

And that wording was important, you knew, because it went against his his usual pattern. Kol was impulsive, he let the moment guide his actions. It was rare for that boy to make an active decision in advance. The statement was a silent request for trust.

“Why?” You asked, brows pulling together. Kol just didn’t seem like the selfless type to you.

He shrugged. “Well, I don’t much like people. Never have - ignorance annoys me - but you’re different. You, my darling, are a puzzle.” The boy grinned. You’d never taken him for a scholar, but there was something excited about that expression - the glimmer in his eyes, perhaps - they displayed a passion for discovery, a craving for knowledge. He leaned closer almost conspiratorially. “I like puzzles. Especially the pretty ones.”

So he really did want to know you. Well, you weren’t ready for that.

“Kol, thank you for the complement, I really appreciate it but I have a feeling I know where this is going and I think I should stop you here.” You sighed and paused for a moment, carefully formulating the proper words to reflect your feelings. The whole while, his eyes remained on your face so you kept your own on the floor and tugged at the hem of your shirt distractedly. “I’m not… good at relationships. You said you don’t like people, and well neither do I. I don’t like them, I don’t like their expectations, their judgments, their hidden agendas - I don’t like any of it. I don’t understand any of it and I don’t have the patience to figure it out. I just… how do I say this?”

“You see too much,” Kol interrupted. You snapped your head up, regarding him questioningly. He continued. “You see everything around you so much differently than others. You see into things - you study them and you understand where others don’t and that bothers you. It annoys you, because why can’t they just look? Why can’t everyone just think?”

That was it. He’d said it. He’d said exactly what you were feeling - what you had always felt - and he said it with honest eyes and just a taste of that constant frustration you’d become so used to.

“They don’t think,” You muttered bitterly. He nodded.

“So, I’m right then?” He said quietly. “It’s not that you don’t understand people - no, it’s quite the opposite, isn’t it? You understand them perfectly - too perfectly. You see through lies and false hoods as though they were merely glass, thus you can’t comprehend why anyone would bother with them. You’re honest and you desperately wish everyone else would be as well, because where is the point in lying? The liars and the cheaters and the unfairness of this world frustrate you, because you were born in the dust and you would steal their thrones in the blink of an eye if only you were provided the opportunity.”

That. That was too close. He shouldn’t know that. No one knew those things about you. His words were far too similar to your own thoughts - the ones you kept to yourself, buried under that customer-service smile you’d learned so early in your youth. Those thoughts weren’t something you shared. Period. With anyone. You were just a housekeeper, a personal maid and that was all any person would ever get to see of you. No one was supposed to see that you had been thinking about astrophysics since you were in the fourth grade or that you had aced every math test you had ever taken.

Because if the world saw that then it would try so much harder to push you down. You had been born in the dust, just as Kol had said, and no one wants to see the gutter reach for the stars. You were the sort of person who could change the world, but those in power didn’t want to see the world change.

“How do you know any of that?” You demanded, eyes narrowing as your tone changed from a snowfall to steel.

“Because I’ve felt it all my life,” The boy replied. “It’s the prodigy mentality, I’m afraid.”

You tilted your head to the side, considering him. “I thought you said you didn’t understand me.”

Kol smirked. “Oh no, that’s the part of you I picked up on immediately. You and I are a lot alike. It’s why you’re so close with Bekah. She’s everything you wish you had without any of the things you hate. She’s my favorite too.”

“Seems like you’ve got everything figured out, then,” You said. Something in you was disappointed though you weren’t sure why.

“Not everything.” His eyes sparkled with bemusement. He loved this. “I’m still trying to figure out how it is that you’re not bitter. You’re awfully cheerful for one so full of resentment.”

Smiling faintly, you cast your gaze down to your feet. “People aren’t very kind… I like to go against the grain.”

Kol leaned back on his heels and nodded. “Genuine kindness derived from spite,” He mused, rubbing his thumb over his lower lip. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before.” The boy chuckled and his eyes flicked over you again, reassessing. “I like it.”

He was like you. Both similar and opposite, the two of you were contrasting sides of the same coin - a mirror of one another. Kol Mikaelson thought you were special.

Your cheeks burned under his attention.

“Uncle Kol?” A voice from the kitchen doorway asked. Both you and Kol turned toward the sound. The adorable red-haired girl standing before you was Klaus’ daughter, Hope. She was eight years old and probably the sweetest soul you’d ever met - which was baffling considering who her father was. The girl glanced between the two of you, rubbing at bleary eyes. “Hi, Miss. Y/N/N.”

“Hey there, strawberry shortcake.” You offered her a smile and a wave which she returned. Kol crossed his arms.

“What are you doing up, little witch?” He prompted in what was probably his best responsible-adult voice, though it wasn’t very convincing. She padded over to him and held out her arms for him to pick her up. Kol obliged, pitching Hope on his hip.

“I was thirsty,” She replied, resting her head on his shoulder. She was clearly still mostly out of it.

Her uncle chuckled softly and kissed her hair. “Do you want some water?” Hope hummed and nodded. “What do you say?”

“Please?” She mumbled.

“Excellent.” He carried her over to the cabinet for a cup. “You know, one of the most powerful spells you’ll ever learn is the magic word, love.”

“He’s right, you know,” You agreed. It’s never a bad thing to support good parenting.

“Mmm… Freya says the most powerful magic is-is, uh… neco-pantsy,” Hope argued, struggling to pronounce the word.

Kol frowned. “Necromancy?”

“Uh, huh.”

He tossed you an alarmed glance and you just shrugged.

“Well I’m going to have to talk to Aunt Freya about what she’s teaching you.”

“Why?” The little girl asked.

“Because you, my sweet, are just a little too young to be talking about black magic.” He tapped her nose, causing her to giggle. “Besides, Necromancy can usually only help you recover something you already had. Now, the magic word, if used appropriately, can get you almost anything you want.” Kol filled the glass of water in the sink and passed it to Hope.

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. For example-” He turned to you and grinned. “-Y/N, I find you captivating above all other women I’ve met in my long, long life. Your intelligence is as impressive as your beauty and l would be ever so grateful to bask in your presence for an evening. Would you please allow me to take you to dinner sometime?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

He shot you a wink and turned back to Hope. “See?”

Hope, however, was one smart little cookie. Her eyes flicked between the two of you and her eyebrows drew together. You could practically see the lightbulb blink on above her head and the change of her expression looked suspiciously like an oven going ding!

“Are you in love with Miss Y/N?” She demanded. Kol blinked and glanced toward you. Your face flushed.

“Well, I don’t know about that quite yet,” He laughed. “Though, I must say I’m not opposed to the idea.”

Hope grinned. “You love her! You love her! You really, really love her!” She sang, giggling. Though your cheeks were surely redder than tomatoes, you couldn’t contain your own laughter.

“Alright, I think that’s quite enough out of you, little witch,” Kol said, feigning annoyance, though he too was smiling. He put the girl down and took her now empty glass from her little hands. “Off to bed now.”

The little red-head smiled mischievously, rocking back and forth on her heels. “I wonder what Auntie Bex is going to say about you having a crush on her best friend?” She mused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. This girl was good. Eight years old and already mastering the intricate art of blackmail.

Kol’s brows shot up and he huffed. His eyes flicked to you. “Did you hear that?”

“Oh, yeah.” You smirked. “Kid’s got you cornered.”

“I’m not sure if I’m proud or terrified,” The boy muttered. He braced his arms on his knees and leaned down to her height. “Let’s just you and I be clear, little witch. Your Auntie Bex isn’t going to find out what you just witnessed, because you aren’t going to tell her anything. Savvy?”

Hope met his eyes and smirked. “Hmmmm…” Then she glanced down to inspect her fingernails. You wondered where she’d learned that from. “I think you’re going to have to convince me,” She said.

Kol straightened, taken aback by the absolute power move coming from an eight-year-old. “You’re a little weasel, you know that?”

“I know!” She chirped.

He bit his lip. “What do you want?”

“Whaddya got?”

He scratched the back of his head as if debating which would be worse, the wrath of his sister or the wrath of Hope’s parents. Actually, the more you thought about it, the more you thought Klaus would probably just encourage this sort of behavior. Kol shook a finger at his niece but moved over to where he’d left his half eaten carton of ice-cream.

“You keep your cute little mouth shut and this is yours,” He said. Hope tried to quirk an eyebrow but failed, bursting into giggles when Kol did it successfully.

“Okay!” She cheered. The girl raised her arms again and he lifted her onto the counter.

“You’re lucky you’re my favorite niece,” He grumbled. Grabbing the container of ice cream, he popped it open and removed a proper spoon from the drawer before passing both items to her.

Hope rolled her eyes. “Uncle Kol! I’m your only niece!”

Kol winked and bopped her nose again. “Precisely.” Then he rounded on you, amber eyes sparkling and sweet. “So, what do you say, darling? How does tomorrow night sound?”

You just smiled. Maybe this boy wasn’t so bad. “That sounds great.”

"It's a date." The genuine delight on his face made you blush. He turned back to Hope. “And you’re not invited, you naughty, naughty girl.”

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gravity-barbie · 1 year

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The Hargreeves dating a famous singer HCs

Request

Sparrow version

Masterlist

Luther Hargreeves

-Luther himself used to be extremely famous, not so much anymore but he can still understand that part of your life much better than the average person

-Still he’s a little uncomfortable to be pulled back into the spotlight through his association with you, he doesn’t appreciate the renewed speculation on his life, especially when it comes to his body, plus his confidence has only decreased over the years, though how highly you always speak of him does help with that

-He’s extremely supportive of your success, he’s always hyping you up, he’s eager to celebrate accomplishments with you or let you bounce ideas off him, and overall he’s willing to make it as much of a priority as you need it to be

-He can actually be quite passionate about music, he’s usually more into the oldies but anything you make is an immediate classic to him and he’s raving about it like a super fan

Diego Hargreeves

-Diego really doesn’t want fame, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t resent your job a bit for the attention it gives him, he’d never actively try to suppress your career though

-You’re borderline star-crossed lovers, or at least that’s certainly how the press paint the scandalous news of you dating an actual vigilante, something that can cause quite the hassle for you in more ways than one

-He tends to look down on celebrities and the petty culture around them but you’re the exception to that, in a lot of ways he acts like a fan, he’s as proud of your accomplishments as if they were his own, he’d fight someone for saying one of your songs is bad, and so on

-Seeing as you’re a public figure, he’s often concerned about your safety and appoints himself your personal bodyguard, which causes a lot of conflict between him and your actual personal security who absolutely hate him

Allison Hargreeves

-You and Allison getting together is no great shock considering you share a location and a lifestyle, which is also very convenient when it comes to maintaining a relationship, plus between the two of you, you make a huge power couple

-She tries to make the most of your similar professions to advance both your careers, always hyping you up in interviews or to other celebrities that she knows, you might rarely or never actually collaborate on a project but you’re truly partners in this thing

-Unfortunately Allison isn’t without controversy, and you’re often bombarded with questions about the umbrella academy, Claire, and her divorce, which Allison is always very apologetic about

-Allison has become quite jaded and insecure about her own success, so you’re pure enthusiasm for your music and fans makes her so happy

Klaus Hargreeves

-Klaus has charmed his way into the lives of the rich and the famous before so he’s not as thrown by your routine as you may of thought, though it can be the kind of atmosphere that makes it hard not to slip back into old habits, but you make for strong motivation not to

-Your peers and the press tend to either look down on him or exotify him, which as annoying as it is to you, he can seemingly laugh off because he’s used to that kind of thing

-He does think your career is great, he’s very proud of and happy for you, with your dedication and passion for what you do only making him love you more, it’s a pleasant contrast to his significantly less focused path

-He isn’t one to treat you like a trophy, but he does get a kick out of his families shock when they realise you’re dating, especially since they didn’t believe him the first time he mentioned it

Viktor Hargreeves

-You two are able to bond a lot over your shared interest in music, and he really appreciates the attention you pay him, hearing someone like you compliment his playing is a much needed and deserved ego boost

-Obviously you try to convince him to collaborate on some music with you but he’s very reluctant, still you end up adding violin to more scores because it just reminds you of him and that elevates any song

-Honestly sometimes being with you can be really hard for Viktor, you’re famous, talented and adored, and it just hits a bit too close to home that he’ll always seem so ordinary compared to you, not that you can’t offset that with enough personal validation

-He really loves listening to you sing, your voice in general is the most soothing thing in the world to him, but when your singing it’s on a whole other level of blissful for him

#the umbrella academy #tua #luther hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #viktor hargreeves x reader #tua x you #tua x reader #the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy preferences

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rebelumbrella46 · 1 year

Text

Rewatching TUA - 3x04 “Kugelblitz”

The scene where we finally see the mothers, blew my mind and along with the music it's one of my favorite scenes of this season.

But seeing it again made me want to look for similarities between them and their children... So based just on what we see in the scene and a few other things...

Monica (Luther's mom): She works in a company, seems to be giving a presentation, she gives me business woman vibes, strong and with leadership. She's tall, she wears baggy clothes, her coat reminds me of the S1 Luther coat.

Elena (Diego's mother): Her clothes and surroundings are yellow, which is a color that resembles joy and warmth. Which is something I feel Diego always looked for in Grace.

There's something about her cooking that reminded me of Grace offering those comforting pancakes to Diego in S1.

Victoria (Allison's Mom): She's a teacher, a profession related to children (that seems to be Allison's focus this season, getting back to her daughter). To be a teacher she must be an intelligent, patient and disciplined woman.

There's something about her dress that she also reminded me of Allison's dresses in S2. The simplicity of a beautiful life in Dallas with her husband.

Rachel (Klaus's mom): Rachel was Amish, I don't know much about them so I don't want to speculate, but she seems to me to be a simple, open and very spiritual person, which is probably why she was able to find peace after dying like that. In addition, the aura of kindness and calm that she emanates during the encounter with Klaus is something that resembles the personality that Klaus displays with his siblings on several occasions.

But it's also a contrast, Klaus used to live in luxury in S2 and usually always wears extravagant clothes unlike Rachel's simplicity.

Efa (Five's mom): The first thing I noticed about her was how small she is... She works as a butcher, which is not a job typically done by women, so I imagine her strong and stubborn, very sure of herself and of her convictions and very hard-working. Her surroundings, as well as her clothes, are quite neutral.

The use of the knife and the blood on her hands and clothes are a very entertaining nod to Five.

Tatiana (Viktor's mom): The first mother we met in S1. What I notice about her is how young she is... I wouldn't know if she's a swimmer or just in a class. But from the scene when Reginald arrives to take Viktor away in S1, she seems to me to be a simple young woman, a little shy (for the way she jumps into the pool after stealing a kiss from the guy) The contrast in the scene between the yellow colors in her clothes and the blue color in the surroundings is interesting, for what has been said, yellow resembles joy and energy, and blue, on the contrary, resembles sadness and the tranquility. Viktor is not necessarily a happy or sad person, he has his moments.

Moments in which he is the calm among the storm in the family but also the one who sets fire to shit.

Ben's Mom: We don't really know her name, she's probably the youngest of all the moms. In the scene on the train, we can see that she is carefree, playful, and seems to be in love. There's a softness about her that resembles Ben. She is surrounded by her family in the scene where Reginald arrives, and they seem protective of both her and baby Ben. Which also reminds me of the protectiveness that the Umbrella have over Brelly Ben.

The school uniform is probably the nod to Ben

#The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #tua season 3 #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #Viktor hargreeves

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moremaybank · 2 years

Note

a headcanon about the courtship of yandere klaus before the relationship with his beloved

courtship with yandere klaus mikaelson

klaus masterlist

even before you and klaus started dating, he felt drawn to you

klaus really and truly felt like he was put on earth to worship the ground you walked on

he first encountered you at st. anne's church, bringing in donations for a food drive father kieran had organized

all it took was one look at you and he was putty in your hands

klaus immediately walked over to you, offering to carry the large box you had in your arms

"you look like you could use a hand," he spoke, his signature crooked smile in play and his arms extended, ready to take the box from you

"actually, i'm good. but thanks," you shrugged, before approaching father kieran who was already looking your way with a grin

klaus just stood there, shock clear on his face

so klaus did his research because he needed to know you now

and the next time he found you at rousseau's with your nose stuck in a book, he knew he had to try again

so he sat next to you at the bar and said hello

"you again. are you gonna offer to hold my book for me this time?"

you thought this would disarm him, but much to your dismay, he's got a thing for attitude

"not at all. but i do want to offer you a drink"

okay, so you were gonna say no. but why would you when you could get a free drink from a very handsome man?

so you said yes

you began to make conversation, and you hated to admit it but soon you began to feel some sort of magnetic pull toward him

and not just because of his gorgeous blue eyes, hypnotic smile and his way with words (although they were a nice plus)

but it was deeper than that

his soul connected with yours and damn, you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel it

by the end of the night, you've agreed to go on a date with him

on your first date, he pulled out ALL the stops

the man picked you up in a damn limo

he also threatened the limo driver when he stared at your figure in the dress you were wearing for a little too long (naturally)

just because klaus was completely enamoured with you didn't mean that his possessive side was gonna disappear into thin air

if anything, now that he had a chance to adore you and give you a dream of a life, it was a million times worse

but you didn't mind it

you had always been the one to protect and stick up for yourself, so it was nice to have someone else do it for you for a change

by the end of the night, you both know that there is no letting go of each other

before the relationship becomes official:

klaus shows up at your work with lunch because he knows you overwork yourself and forget to make time to eat

long walks together through the city when the sun is setting

spending late nights talking to each other about everything and nothing

relaxing afternoons spent at a cafe together

getting to babysit/spend time with hope when klaus is off dealing with his inevitable supernatural drama

using the mikaelson's luxurious kitchen to bake so you can stuff klaus' face with all the homemade sweets in the world

having to remind him that you can take care of yourself and that you've been doing it long before you met him

him not caring and ensuring your safety is his top priority

one night, klaus asks you to dinner

he says he wants to enjoy the night with you now that he can focus his full attention on you

so you get all dolled up

you two go out to eat at your favourite steakhouse

at dessert, you share chocolate-covered strawberries and some champagne

and at the end of the night, he carefully takes your hand and professes his love to you

he tells you that he's pretty sure he's been in love with you since that day in st. anne's church, and that every day since then he's just been falling deeper and deeper

and he wants to spend his life with you so he can adore you and cherish you for as long as you'll have him

the look in his eyes is so tender and genuine

and you know you've fallen in love with him too

so you smile up at him, a blush spreading its way onto your cheeks as you reach up to cup his face

"i love you too, klaus. i'm so terribly in love with you"

and then before you know it you're kissing under the stars, so in love with each other, it hurts

a/n: finally getting back to posting and it feels good🤪

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson fluff #the originals #the vampire diaries #the originals imagine #the vampire diares imagine #tvd universe #tvdu #joseph morgan #klaus mikaelson headcanon

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dumb-hat · 1 year

Text

LFRP - Evander Winsome

Perpetually trapped between a sense of idleness and reckless, impulsive abandon, Evander never met a bad idea he didn’t want to take out to dinner. He’s done his level best to leave a dark past behind, but he can’t help it if the air feels cooler and the light a little brighter when you’re standing in the shade. It used to be that every day broke with him begging the question “Just how bored do I wanna be?” Now, he can’t seem to catch a godsdamn break. That’s okay though, theft adventure keeps the ennui at bay.

THE BASICS –––

Name: Evander Winsome

Age: 27

Nameday: 12th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

Race: Midlander Hyur

Gender: Male

Alignment: Chaotic Good, though he’s not always convinced on the “Good” part.

Marital Status: “It’s complicated. I mean, it’s not complicated to me, but everyone else seems to think it is."

Server: Balmung

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE –––

Hair: Chestnut Brown; looks to be in perpetual need of a trim

Eyes: Amber

Height: 5′9

Build: Evander has a swimmer’s physique: Long, lean, broad-shouldered and tapering to a narrow waist. Given his lifestyle, he might have trouble maintaining that as he gets older, but for now he’s gifted with a metabolism that lets him get away with precious little intentional maintenance.

Common Accessories: Far too many flasks; ignition keys and controls for various vehicles and small automata; his drone, Valencia; his dumb hat; a gold pendant in the shape of a swan, its neck crooked long; lockpicks; a multitool or three.

PERSONAL –––

Profession: Evander will admit to being a courier, a searcher, a seeker, a finder or something along those lines. If you need something, he can track it down and get it from one place to another. He doesn’t think of himself as much of a fighter, but he’s growing more comfortable with bodyguard work. He’s also a picklock, a safecracker and a burglar, though he’s not as quick to advertise all that.

Hobbies: He loves being around people, and he loves indulging. As far as he’s concerned, drinking and eating count as hobbies. Left to his own devices, he’s a tinker, an avid reader (particularly of romance novels, particularly the works of Quill Quivers [@worldofquillquivers] and Summer Bellmayne [@thefreelanceangel]), and often fond of especially stupid wagers, though straightforward gambling doesn't interest him as much.

Languages: He’s only fluent in Eorzean Common but he knows a smattering of Old Elezen and loves picking up bits and pieces of whatever he can along the way.

Residence: His Goblet apartment is under near-constant renovation. He’s got a room he rents from his Free Company, but it’s barely furnished aside from an astonishing array of liquor bottles, shipping crates and a huge canopy bed.

Birthplace: Limsa Lominsa

Patron Deity: He’s always personally felt a call toward Nymeia and Byregot, but feels its his duty to venerate Oschon, for some reason. He doesn’t much like to talk about it.

RELATIONSHIPS –––

Spouse: “I thought we went over this?”

Children: “Gods, I hope not.”

Parents: “Never knew ‘em.”

Siblings: “My brother raised me. I wish he was still here. You’d have liked him.”

Other Relatives: “Nope. None that I know of. That whole ‘orphan’ thing, y’know?”

Pets: “I take care of a monstrous, wonderful little sheep named Doctor One and a surprisingly intelligent smallshell named Saint Barnabus, who seems to have recently taken on another crab named Klaus as a tenant. There’s also my little drone, Valencia. A lot of people might not count her, but I do.”

TRAITS –––

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION –––

Smoking Habit: Definitely not a habit. He might take something if offered, but he won’t seek it out on his own and he’s more likely to politely decline.

Drugs: Yes. Not anything and everything, and not all the time, but yes. Doors were made to be open, and that includes the doors of perception.

Alcohol: Evander doesn’t have a drinking problem except for when he can’t get a drink.

RP HOOKS –––

Contemptible Youth: Evander grew up amongst a gang of orphans in Limsa Lominsa. Were you a fellow Limsan wharf rat? Were you a criminal? Did you just spend a lot of time in the wrong parts of town? It’s been a while, but you might recognize him.

Easy Mark: Evander often finds it easier to fly under the radar and avoid notice. To this end, he often tries to exude an air of hapless gullibility. Feel free to try and rope him into some con or scheme!

Yeah, Okay: These are Evander’s words to live by. It’s not that he can’t say no, so much as he’s learned that “yes” is usually the more interesting answer. Catch him in the right mood, and he’s likely to go along with almost any hare-brained plan.

Old Habits Die Hard: A part of him yearns to live a good, decent, upright life. The problem is that part of him gets bored very quickly. Lately, he’s found himself increasingly likely to drawn to less-than-legal endeavors to keep himself occupied.

People Person: Whether it’s meeting someone new, getting to know an old friend better, or even making a new rival, frenemy or worse, he just loves people at the end of the day. Don’t be shy. You don’t need an excuse. Just come say hi!

CONTACT INFORMATION –––

It’s not too hard to get a hold of me through tumblr. I mean, you’re already here, aren’t you? Just shoot me a message!

If you see me in game, I love walk ups, drive-bys, tells, whatever! Please, by all means feel free to say something, whether you want to interact in character or just say hi! It almost always makes my day.

I have Discord and I usually really like RPing there, though I kind of like to get to chat a little through another venue first. I sometimes, very rarely, wander through one of the big Discord servers out there, and if you find me out in the wild you can feel free to say hi there, too.

Finally, I’m based in the US (CST, GMT-6) but work most weeknight evenings and spend much of my weekends doing TTRPG stuff. My work is often flexible that I can chat or RP, or even get in game from time to time, but it's not always a given. It might sound like I'm hard to get a hold of, but I'm almost always happy to have a chat. If you catch me in game, you should definitely come say hello!

Notes –––

You can find Evander’s carrd here.

If you want to read some of the stuff I’ve written, you can check my spotty participation in the FFXIVWrite 2020 challenge right here. my even spottier 2021 here, and my surprisingly decent 2022 over here. I might have some alts here soon. You never know!

If you want to be bothered by my OOC blog, you'll find that over at @justlikethefish.

#ffxiv #ffxiv rp #balmung #crystal dc #ffxiv roleplay #ffxiv lfrp #lfrp balmung #dumb hat #I'm bad at tags #i hate tagging stuff #see this is why I usually don't do it

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klausysworld · 11 months

Note

Hi! I love your fics and I’ve been binging them all day!

I was wondering if you would be willing to make a part 2 to ‘His Little Secret’? I would love a smutty sequel where she expects immediate sex at his house but he planned a little date for them in his living room since they can’t be in public yet while he’s still her teacher and she’s in love with it cause it’s just so sweet and she didn’t expect it at all cause a part of her still worried that all he wanted was to fuck her. Klaus eases her concerns and is really understanding…and then after dinner he absolutely destroys her?

His little secret part 2

PT1

Professor Mikaelson and I- sorry, Klaus and I, hadn’t had much time to…be together since that evening in his office after school had ended.

It was just little moments like staying a couple extra minutes at the end of the lesson to ‘grab my things’ when in reality i was pressed against the wall with his hands in my hair and tongue down my throat.

Or when I needed help with the homework and his lips would be on my neck while he explained the assignment and helped me take notes.

So when I found a note in between the pages of my book with his address and a request for me to join him on Saturday night, well I was a little excited.

But as the days grew nearer, my mind spun. What if he just wanted to finally fuck me? It was probably just a game for him, to chase his student, make her fall for him, fuck her and then move on. Or worse, make me his fuck toy while I fall further for him until I graduate and he finds a new student.

And yet, despite my worries, I still turned up to his house. I made sure I was clean, shaved and…desirably dressed. If he just wanted sex then I could do that, he’s probably got all the skills anyway so at least it would be worth the emotional turmoil.

I knocked on his door with a quick glance of my surroundings, I had my jacket zipped up over my skimpy dress just incase anyone saw me and didn’t think I was my teachers hooker.

His house was fucking huge, what kind of salary was he on??

And when he opened the door it was a little odd seeing him in regular clothes. Jeans and a henley, he didn’t look like a professor right now.

He smiled and his arm circled my waist, pulling me inside and shutting the door and kissing my cheek.

“Im so glad you came sweetheart” he murmured.

I swallowed thickly and nodded “yeah…you have a really nice home” I told him quietly, it was a little weird knowing I was in his house, going to be fucked by my teacher.

“Are you alright my love?” He questioned, his hand cupping the side of my face

“Mhm, yeah. So uh, where do you want to do it?” I asked nonchalantly, best to get straight to it, no need to sugarcoat it or pretend its not the real reason I’m here.

His brow arched and he frowned “do what…oh-“ his eyes widened as I undid my jacket revealing my lack of clothing. I looked to him with a slightly expecting face

“What? You looked shocked? Would you have preferred it in pink? You seemed more of a dark blue person” I muttered looking down and the second skin, rather worried knowing i was wearing matching panties.

“N..no you look lovely…I just…I wasn’t prepared for you to be wearing…what” his tongue clicked and he took my hand “you look beautiful” he assured being leading me past the first room and through the next door, is his bedroom downstairs?

Though I was quite surprised when he opened the door to reveal candles lighting up the room, blankets and pillows layered in the centre of the room and a massive flat screen hung up on the wall. Oh my god was he going to film it or something?

I blinked a few times and looked to him nervously “I um…I don’t think I want to be filmed the first time” I told him awkwardly and to my own embarrassment as his eyes significantly widened and he shook his head

“No! No no, that is not what this is!” He nearly yelled “it’s just dinner! Food, a date” he confirmed.

“Oh” I breathed, my brows furrowing “you know it’s unnecessary though right? You don’t need to ‘woo’ me, I know what I’m here for”

“What in earth do you think you’re here for!?” He looked almost upset?

“Sex….was that not…oh dear” I muttered feeling much more embarrassed realising I looked like an utter slut. “God I’m so stupid, I’m sorry, I’ll get my coat” I quickly made my way to the front door with my hand shielding my face from his view.

“Love!” I could hear his footsteps gaining pace as he neared me, his hand landing on my shoulder and turning me too him before I had the chance to grab my jacket. “Love, it’s alright” his voice was soft as his hand moved under my chin to try sway me into looking up at him. “I can understand why you would assume that, I haven’t been able to show you that this id more than a couple kisses on my desk, but that’s why you’re here. So that I can give you more, not sexually-not if you don’t want that, more emotionally” he explained

I glanced up to him, my face red and haw clenched, my mind telling me to get out to save myself from further humiliation.

“I should go home” I whispered and he frowned

“Please love, just an hour or so, I’ve made you dinner, surely you’re at least a little hungry?” He asked, his hand on my arm now

“Klaus I look like a hooker” I stated with a sigh

“Ill get you one of my tops if you’d like, my jeans may be a tad big on you, adjustable sweatpants perhaps?” He offered, both hands rubbing up and down my arms gently

“Im not even wearing a bra” I laughed slightly, my hand holding my forehead “god, I’m so sorry”

He smiled and shook his head “I understand, It’s quite alright. Now personally I don’t own bras but I promise not to look, hm?” He questioned and I smiled a little

“Okay” I whispered and he nodded

“I’ll grab you something of mine” he whispered “will you wait in the living room? The one I showed you…for our date”

I smiled and went back into the room he had previously shown to me and sat down on the edge of one of his luxurious leather sofas, looking down at the little display of blankets on the floor. I sighed, feeling stupid as I pulls my dress up over my breasts a little more.

I waited a few more minutes for him to return with some clothes folded in his arms. He smiled came over, pulling a navy henley over my head and I brought my arms into the sleeves. He held a hand out to me, pulling me up to stand before him before kneeling down and bunching the joggers up to slip them up my legs and over the henley of my body. I went to speak but I felt his hands under the henley making my words halt as he had managed to pull my excuse of a dress off of my body and over my head from under my clothes. I blinked at him aimlessly as he folded up the material and set it aside. His arm moved around my waist and he smiled

“May we have our date now, my sweetheart?” He asked while leading me over to the comfy setting on the ground. He gently pulled me down with him and tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “Food will be ready soon, for now, how about a film?” He offered as he handed me the phone.

“You sure you want me to choose? You know our tastes may be a little different seeing as…well” I stopped myself from saying much else, like him being my teacher, being roughly ten years older and what not. But he only smiled back at me

“How will I learn much from you if you do not teach me?” He asked and I smiled shyly before reluctantly nodding and taking the remote.

“Well uh we could watch…” I trailed off aimlessly, a little glad when his phone alarm went off for the food. He stood up and kissed the top of my head

“Ill grab that, you pick the girliest film you can find hm? It won’t bother me as long as you enjoy it” he murmured softly, before leaving the room briefly. I decided to see how far I could push it and chose Legally Blonde.

When he returned I was more comfy, lead on my stomach, chin resting in my hands as I awaited his return. My eyes flicked to the pasta dishes in his hands and smiled up at him. He was even more attractive from this angle, seeing straight up his body.

His throat cleared as my eyes lingered on his crotch for a beat to long and I looked back to his amused face while he began to lower himself onto his knees and placed my plate in front of me.

“Cooked it yourself?” I questioned, slightly suspicious he had someone else do it

“Who else would make it?” He asked, a hand over his heart in mock offence.

“I dunno a maid? This house is fricken huge! You can’t tell me you clean it yourself?” My brows raised and he chuckled

“I have a little help with cleaning but I assure you, nobody else is here tonight, I cooked this myself for you”

“Oh? And why nobody else here? Expecting something happen?” I mused and he smiled with a shake of his head

“Just didn’t want anyone disturbing our time together, besides…for now you are still a student” he mumbled the last part as though I would miss it and so I ignored it on his behalf.

“Well thank you” I said with a smile and picked up my fork, taking a bite of his meal for me.

“Well I must commend you professor, it seems you do more than teach” I said with a laugh and he smiled looking down at his plate.

“And you have just lovely movie recommendations” he hummed glancing up at the TV

“Hush, you’ll love it” I wave my hand and sit up, shuffling over to him as he draped a blanket over my shoulders.

By the time we had finished our meals and he had fed me the pavlova he made, the film had finished and we were scrolling to pick another. His arm was around me, hand on the side of my thigh as I was curled on my side, my head against his chest.

“Are you tired my love? I can take you home if you like or if you’d rather stay, you have have my bed and I’ll take a guest room” he proposed, his fingers threading through my hair gently.

“Why would I stay in your bed? Wouldn’t I be the guest?” I asked confused

“Mm but my bed is the comfiest, and you should have the best” he muttered as he kissed the top of my head. I smiled and turned onto my back, the back of my head resting against his thigh as I looked up at him. His hand slid up to lay against my stomach and he grinned down at me. “Perhaps you’re comfy here?” He mused and my lips pulled upwards with a meek nod.

We stayed in that position for two thirds of Titanic before we moved on to more…intriguing topics. We had gotten to the scene where Jack and Rose have sex in the car when his hand glided up and down my abdomen

“I don’t imagine you’ve ever done it in a car, love?” He hummed though his curiosity was clear. I blushed and shook my head

“Have you?” I asked quietly and he smirked

“Well…” he trailed with an awkward yet proud chuckle making me roll my eyes playfully

“A man like you must’ve done it everywhere” I laugh and his brows raise

“Is that your way of calling me a man whore?” He hums and I shrug

“A little bit”

“And what of you, where have you done it?” He questions, his expression almost smug. I blush darkly and look away briefly

“Well not many places” I mutter

“A bed I presume?” He asks and I nod. His hand had pushed up the henley, untucking it from the joggers so his hand was against my bare stomach. “Anywhere else love?” He questions, no amusement in his tone, just soft curiosity.

I shrug “janitors closet” i mumble, glancing to him seeing his brows high

“Oh? With who?” He questions, his tone lower than before

“Nope, not doing the who have we slept with” I refused and he let out a chuckle

“Oh come on love, give me a hint love” he nearly whined as his hands teased my under boob.

“Nuh uh, none of your business” I tell him and he laughs again

“It won’t do any harm” he persuades but I’m firm of my decision not to share and he eventually gives in.

“Anywhere else you’ve gotten yourself hot and bothered in with this mysterious boy” he hummed

“Well..” I clicked my tongue, fighting back a smile knowing it would press his buttons “Actually…I’ve gotten to third base with someone in the back of a classroom” I bit my tongue to hold back my grin and he stiffened

“Not…not in my classroom” He uttered and I laughed but didn’t respond. “Y/n. Not in my classroom, correct?” Again, I said nothing only giggled fuelling him to lift me up from my comfy position and pulling me to straddle his lap, his hand holding my chin to keep my eyes on his. “Y/n y/l/n you tell me right now that you did not let a boy out his fingers inside you while in my class room.”

My grin shone through in slight pride and amusement seeing his horrified and disturbed expression. I only laughed harder at his face before shaking my head

“It wasn’t in your room but god you look like someone murdered you puppy” I giggled and he breathed out a sigh, his arm pulling me flush against him

“I would have surely killed the boy” he muttered, kissing my temple.

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t nearly as talented as you were with your fingers” I whispered into the crook of his neck, he hummed and said fingers got a gently grip around my neck, pulling me back to see him.

“I remember that day so very well” he murmured, his eyes glossed in a growing lust.

“So do I” I replied with a smile which he returned as he cleared his throat again.

“Back to the topic at hand-“

But he didn’t get to finish his sentence as I pushed my lips to his rather unexpectedly. He made a sound of surprise before welcoming the kiss, his hand sliding up my neck to my jaw as he kissed back with a little more passion.

I pulled away with much struggle, my cheeks pink and my eyes flicking between his eyes and lips. “Sorry, I don’t know why I uh well threw myself at you” I blushed with a light laugh

“I wouldn’t be embarrassed my love, I have that effect” he chuckled before kissing my lips briefly again. “Besides, I certainly enjoy your enthusiasm” He hums before taking my lips with his. The kiss much deeper than the last, much deeper than any of our other kisses. Completely unhurried and meaningful.

His hands slid up and down my sides, his palms just barely grazing the sides of my breasts as his mouth grew hungrier and mind needier. I breathed into his mouth as he parted my lips with his, making way for our tongues to reunite as his hands gave a tender squeeze to each breast. I let out a little moan in response, pulling back to glance down at his hands, my desire building.

I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t been longing for us to finally do it. Since he was rather firm that we should be exclusive, it’s been far too difficult to not be touching myself each night to the thought of him. Of course part of me was worried all he wanted was sex but knowing that he genuinely cared for me, enough to spend hours with me with no more than limited physical touch and purely words of affection, I just wanted to at last have him inside me. I needed to know how brilliant he surely was. My friends had non stop blabbed about how great they imagine him to be, my dreams have already given me enough visuals, now I needed the real deal.

Before I knew it, his top I had been wearing was disregarded and tossed to one of the sofas. His hands were groping at my breasts as I continued to pant into his mouth, my tongue trying desperately to keep up with his.

I pulled away when his hands touched the sweatpants I was wearing and grabbed his hands.

“We aren’t on a time limit are we?” I asked slightly nervous and he shook his head,

“Forgive me” he breathed, his cheeks earning a rosy hue. He kissed me several more times before leaning back on his knees. He pushed me down onto my back nudged my thighs apart before shuffling between them. My legs bent at the knee to wrap around his waist, bringing his a little closer.

He bent down, his eyes on mine as he littered many kissed across my chest. His hands fondling and kneading while his tongue found one of my anticipating nipples. Our eyes remained locked on one another as he sucked it between his lips. I let out a hot breath at the tingling sensation he was creating as well as the sight. His tongue flicked at the hardening bud while one of his hand’s fingers gently pinched the other. His teeth grazed me lightly but enough to have my back arching to push my chest into his mouth with a squeal. His chuckle vibrated through me as he sucked it some more.

“You are divine sweetheart” he uttered, an award winning smirk spread across his face.

I barely managed to let out a noise before his mouth was on the opposite side to last and tugging at the nipple before pulling off it and nuzzling his face between both breasts,shaking his head gently side to side, his tongue giving quick swipes to the swells of them both.

“I could just do this all night” he mumbled and I breathed a laugh

“As much as I would love that, I fear my insides may explode with need” I whisper and he chuckles.

“Is that you way of asking for more, my love?” He hummed, his fingers flicking my erect buds making me let out an ‘mph’ as my teeth clamped down on my lower lip as I nodded in response. “Very well” he whispered.

Soon enough we were both entirely bare, his body pressed against mind, our lips together again in another heated kiss.

I could feel his heavy cock against my upper thigh, occasionally brushing over my folds, coating himself in my arousal and with eat feathery touch, the more desperate i became.

My hands grabbed at his hair, his neck, his shoulders, his back, anywhere I could touch to feel him closer until he had pulled away which a small chuckle.

“Is there something you would like sweetheart?” He mused but I wasn’t exactly in an amused mood. My hands only tugged at him more, a repeated blur of pleas whispered until he shushed me gently and stroked my hair.

“Let’s see how much you can handle” he murmured as he slowly began to push into me. An instant moan filling the air, a smile on my open mouth as my back arched and my head leant back. “That’s it love” he sighed, pushing in further. Another breathless moan leaving me, my cunt gripping him tightly.

No words could be formed as he began to move within me. Both out hips rocking, a groan leaving his throat and a girlish moan pushing past my lips. I could feel his hands roughly gripping my breasts again as his face dropped to my neck, his hot breath hitting against my skin.

My hips bucked upward harshly as his pace picked up. My eyes shut in a state of bliss, just him inside me was enough to make me cum let alone moving as fast as he was with his mouth sucking along my throat.

“oh god” I whispered, harsh breaths leaving my mouth. “Klaus” I whimpered. He kissed along my neck again before I felt his lips press to mine in many short kisses.

“I love you” he mumbled, my eyes cracked open to look at him, a smile forming on my face

“I love you” I told him, my heart fluttering at the look on his face.

My mouth formed an ‘o’ as he now moved even faster. Sharp intakes of breath could be heard aswell as the distinct sound of our skin meeting. A loud moan transferred from my mouth to his as he hit directly against my spot.

“yes klaus, yes!” My voice grew higher, his hips going faster. He hit just right over and over until my thighs were nearly vibrating and my fingers were tugging harshly at the baby hairs at the top of his neck.

“You’re gorgeous” he whispered, only stirring my orgasm on further, edging it closer and closer. “Come on sweetheart, finish for me my lovely.” He murmured.

I let out a sharp cry in response, my nails digging into his back with raw need.

“Show me love, show me” he whispered, lips kissing the spot behind my ear.

“Fuck Klaus fuck” I whined, my jaw clenching, nails holding on so tight he winced as I let go.

“Good god-“ he panted, he let out long breaths as he hurriedly pulled put, cumming across my abdomen and the blankets beneath us.

My eyes fell shut, my legs slipping from his waist and my arms sliding away from his back, tiny amounts of his blood at the ends of my fingernails.

His hands brushed my hair out of my face as my breathing evened out.

“You look beautiful my love” he whispered, “I will forever hold this moment in my heart” he murmured. He peppered my jaw in his kisses making me hum happily.

“Mmm can we watch another movie” I muttered sleepily and he chuckled

“Whatever you like sweetheart” he murmured, his lips meeting mine again for one of the dozens of times that they would continue to meet throughout the night…

(Ughhh sorry for not posting very much Actually like this story though ngl)

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witchcraftandgeekness · 10 months

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TVDU x Hogwarts AU, Part 5, aka Mikaelsons-in-law edition. Part 4 is here

Warning: it is just my opinion

Camille O'Connell

Let's be honest, Cami is one of few characters of tvd Universe with actual functioning braincells (not taking in regard vampire!Cami). She is compassionate but her mentality is the one of logic. Her profession highly implies the triumph of mind and soul, she analyzes things with creativity (first episode when she was describing painting, her analysis of Klaus's works). Cami is independent and thinks out of shell (remember how when she was compeled she made a system of notes that will remind her of the things she forgets when Klaus isn't around? I was impressed, okay).

Hayley Marshall

Hayley was introduces as a person who can manipulate people for her own benefit but later it was shown that she has strong moral compass (this transgression is probably another result of writers not knowing what the hell they are doing but lets ignore pre-TO Hayley okay). She demonstrated self-sacrifices for others (what she did for her pack, for example) and killing of innocents for those she loves (ya remember how Davina blackmailed Hayley into killing a whole bunch of innocent witches? Yeah, funny times). And let's face it, she cannot be ambitious and manipulative enough for Slytherin, and not compassionate and honest enough for Hufflepuff.

Marcel Gerard

Marcel possess extremely high IQ which he had demonstrated more than once, but he is one to follow his heart and his ideas of honour. He won't be silent if he witnesses injustice or harm towards innocents. He will do anything for those he cares about or those he finds worthy of being saved. His courageous heart makes him good leader, his loyalty to those who are loyal to him makes others want to follow his lead.

Keelin Malraux aka the only official Mikaelson-in-law

As a doctor, Keelin proved already to be very intelligent and persistent. The most exceptional thing about Keelin is that she uses science to help herself with weakening her curse (therefore making her life more comfortable) and values science above magic.

Sage

Hedonistic and outgoing, Sage is not burdened with morality, which opposes noble Finn. With her around even he can loosen his strict code of conduct. She is good at lying and pretending, even with her friends Sage always stays canny and truly does not trust anyone but herself.

#tvd #tvdu #the originals #tvdu hogwarts houses #hogwarts houses #tvdu hogwarts au #cami o'connell #mikaelson family #hayley marshall #marcel gerard #keelin malraux #sage tvd

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drachonia · 7 months

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❝ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭? 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲? 𝐡𝐚𝐚…𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐮𝐩! ❞

𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 ⸻ You picked me like a flower, didn’t expect the thorns, you say that I’m too 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐝, didn’t know what you were in for, the second that you leave I’m tearing down your tapestries 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.

contents include: references/inspiration from norse history and culture, i'm still learning, so please be kind & bear with me if things are not entirely accurate. ;w; headers © saradika outline © celiciaa

𝐼. ⸻ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥.

name, noele herra

nickname, none yet

sex, female

orientation, heterosexual, demiromantic

birth date, december 24

zodiac sign, capricorn

place of birth, coasts of quartz, northwest of rhodolite

age, 24-25

occupation, knight

crest, malamute

alignment, chaotic good

mbti, entp

𝐼𝐼. ⸻ 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

eyes, icy blue, like the shadow of a glacier over ice. her

hair, pale brown, taupe colored hair, typically tied halfway up off her neck. lots of volume and surprisingly soft despite her profession and upbringing.

built, muscular upper arms (greatsword training and proficiency) with toned torso that leads into wide hips and thighs. a cross between an hourglass figure and a pear figure.

she is fair skinned, a faint bit of tanning from her time in rhodolite but still comparably pale to those from more southern nations.

height, 5'4" - 162 cm

weight, 125 lbs

𝐼𝐼𝐼. ⸻ 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲.

father, erik

mother, marguerite herra

brothers, ander, cavan, aleksei (oldest triplet), klaus (youngest triplet), noah

sisters, sigrid, liv

𝐼𝑉. ⸻ 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

traits, autonomous, playful, attentive, protective, polite

passions, music, dance, swordfighting, light baking

fears, being unable to protect loved ones, failing at her job as a knight, losing her edge in swordfighting, being seen as unfit.

colors, mint green, lavender, warm chocolate, blush

aesthetics, fur lining & fabrics, leather laces, ice crystals, snow, pine trees, sparring, winter, morning dew, down feathers, pale blue silk, forest incense, fresh flowers

𝑉. ⸻ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.

around loved ones, warm and bright, like a fireplace or a candle, fiercely loyal and protective, well-mannered around friends, free-spirited, gentle, kind-hearted, thoughtful, sarcastic around strangers, aloof, unladylike, standoffish, hot-blooded

𝑉𝐼. ⸻ 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬.

combat, noele has extensive combat experience and knowledge, tracking as far back as when she was a young teen.

dance, she's relatively skilled at dance and the grace from her combat training comes through in the ballroom as well

baking, though much more minor when compared to her combat skill, noele knows how to make rather delicious sweets, mostly small cakes and pastries and tarts.

horseback riding, she has a rather large shire-like horse, and is very adept at fighting on horseback. it is not, however, her preferred type of fighting, especially with her greatsword.

𝑉𝐼𝐼. ⸻ 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝.

hailing from the far north, in a country called quartz, noele is the fourth born child to both of her parents — a former earl father and a storyteller mother of rhodolite origin — into a set of triplets. raised alongside her brothers with combat training for well over a decade, she lived her life helping around her family estate until she was old enough to travel at the encouragement of her mother. deciding to go to her roots, she moved to rhodolite for a change of pace around the age of twenty alongside a couple of friends, still keeping contact with her family through acquaintances that travel between both her home country and rhodolite.

𝑉𝐼𝐼𝐼. ⸻ 𝐚𝐫𝐭.

reference, here. art, by aki. 2 3 fics, 1 2 3

#noele #ikemen prince oc #ikepri oc

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saintsir4n · 10 months

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WRITING BIPOC’S INTO PERIOD PIECES

It was certainly a struggle as a black writer to write someone like me into not only fandom that I like but one where the lack of representation for not just black people, but people from other cultural backgrounds pretty much don’t exist.

So I’ll break down this little rant by talking about two of my books, from separate fandoms.

Here we go…

—

A DARK TWISTED FANTASY

I know many people have watched the vampire diaries and immediately jump to write about how Bonnie was treated badly by the writers and was made into the “token” and “magical negro” of the show, which is why I had to think long and hard about how I wanted to write my main oc and how I wanted her to be perceived. It’s hard as a POC in general searching through books on wattpad, tumblr, ao3 and so on to find something that’s for me, so I just decided to write a tvd fic, but not just a tvd fic, but with klaus mikaelson as the love interest.

Listen, I love Klaus as a character, but his flaws are never-ending. Not only is the man abusive (physically and mentally), narcissistic, controlling and spiteful but he also tends to throw around the fact he saved Marcel from slavery constantly throughout the originals.

Which of course I didn’t fully realise until I started publishing my story (ADTF). Don’t get me wrong I love writing my oc alongside him but that isn’t a flaw I could just ignore, especially considering the era she’s born in.

For those who don’t know, Adrienne Lumiére is a grey witch (dark witch by some definitions) who was recently made queen of the witch faction in NOLA because of the sudden death of her mother. Oh… did I forget to mention she’s a dark-skin, eighteen year old who’s being courted by Klaus Mikaelson in 1917?

You see the problem I had when was writing?

Well, since I didn’t want to write a canon tvd book where the same thing happens, Klaroline, Esther returns, Klaus wants his hybrids… bla bla bla, I settled with a period piece set when the Mikaelsons were ruling over NOLA before Mikael came along and burn down their accomplishments to the ground. I wanted to give a new take and I did, but trying to balance a somewhat “healthy relationship” between Adrienne and Klaus during this time and how he is when it comes to race was challenging.

Reading the book, you might see him being “colour blind”, believing that because she’s a powerful being, it eradicates most of the struggles she had to face due to her race… classic Klaus right? I mean it’s only right to portray him in such a way because that’s how he is. He might acknowledge her race and strongly hate anyone who is prejudiced towards her but it doesn’t mean he fully understands nor could he ever.

And no, him adopting Marcel doesn’t mean he single-handedly erased racism, him “saving” Marcel in my opinion had little to do with his race and more to do with Marcel’s actions leading up to Klaus noticing him. You know… marcel rightfully throwing an object at his slave owner (defending himself) making Klaus see “himself” in Marcel.

Therefore I write klaus, how I view him to be most of the time as “colourblind.”

Now onto, “how writing Adrienne sometimes can be challenging.”

It is challenging because even though I would love to write her into a space where her struggles as a black woman ( a young one at that) wouldn’t exist, it would be a lie. I also feel like mentioning even it a little is triggering but if I chose to ignore it wouldn’t be doing the book justice. Of course, I try not to over indulge because it’s a fictional character, being written into a fictional world, but I still want to keep my character realistic, so I incorporate how black woman styled their hair back then, how they would dance, the professions they might have (even embellishing a little) and the family dynamics.

Her physical relationship with Klaus is shown a lot —but behind closed doors and that’s for a reason. You see interracial relations were illegal and despite Klaus’ ignorance most of the time, he knows that and wouldn’t risk Adrienne’s safety (because of his fear of his lover dying, leaving him, or being killed because of him… and so on leaving him lonely and even more destructive) so they keep their touches in public to a minimum, but in private, you know how they are.

I know some parts of Adrienne's story might be very unrealistic, but I am leaning into her supernatural status a little just so she can live a little lavish… come on, Adrienne deserves the world and honestly, I’m glad I chose the 1910s to write her into, of course, nothing was okay, or even right back then, but it’s fiction, it’s escapism and I want people to have fun when reading about her and how her family contribute to NOLA back then.

I love Adrienne and even though writing to her with Klaus can be very exhausting, it’s quite fun sometimes.

(And yes I will finish the story before anyone asks, but don’t ask when I’ll be updating)

—

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

Eden Dawkins is my other original character set in the 1900s, but this time in Birmingham as a twenty-year-old brown skin nurse currently dating Tommy Shelby before he goes of to war.

For some reason I found this story to be easier, it might have had something to do with the lack of supernatural elements but still, I did a lot of research not only for black people back in 1914 but also the English/Irish and Romani traveller culture during this time also. (beliefs, family values, etc.)

considering that Tommy (who's played by cillian murphy) is constantly looked down on by his enemies and plenty of others because of his background I had to think about how my girl Eden would be seen. although we do see reoccurring characters like Jeremiah (played by Benjamin Zephaniah) and Isaiah Jesus who are a black father and son that were heavily involved with the Peaky Blinders, do experience racism but luckily it wasn't their entire character portrayal, although I did wish they were fleshed out more.

so when I started writing about Eden, who is in a relationship with not only a small-town gangster, I needed to access her views on violence and if she was okay with it. crime was notorious, especially in small heath, no one was rich and the working class were the majority. in the show of peaky blinders, theft, loitering and drug dealing were common. the entire show is based around criminal activity and how the Shelbys used it to their advantage to get themselves to the top.

since my story is set in 1914, the Shelbys, I believe were starting up the betting shop and did already have some sort of reputation for being people not to be messed with, I wanted Eden to already be aware of them. I decided that she would be the same age as John and even be friends with him during school. since she is the god-sibling to Isaiah (and he's besties with Finn) I wanted her and the little 5-year-olds to be close, so that's another tie she has to the Shelbys, meaning Tommy can’t miss her.

he didn't and if you've read the prologue it's known that he's been obsessing over her for a while.

back to Eden... she's a nurse, it was common to be back then and was also an easier profession to get in than it is now. it was also common for many people who were getting treated in hospitals to turn away help from black/brown nurses and doctors due to their prejudice, this is a fact that I mention in my book, in a sly and occasionally jokey way. Eden's mother Celestine is a matron; a title belonging to a nurse of higher status and more experience. Celestine had been a nurse for 20 years.

Eden's been a nurse for at least a year and since she tends to operate with needles, I made sure her defences are knives instead of guns. IT'S FANFICTION GUYS. I know it isn't accurate but she's dating a gangster, lives on a chaotic street and is surrounded by normalised crime, she needs to defend herself somehow and you'll soon understand why she doesn't use guns.

when writing a black character I sometimes forget that it is okay for them to be the opposite of the "strong" stereotype that many portray us to be. Eden is a very emotional person, she's in touch with her feelings and knows she can also let them run her to the ground.

taking this into account, you might ask, "How does Eden react to Tommy's actions?"

to summarise how she would, if it's affecting her or the people she loves or anyone innocent, she has a problem and lashes at him, however, if it doesn't affect her at all, she'd let it slide.

you'll see more of that in a short story.

the black girl experience is also included just like I did with Adrienne.

also, Tommy and Klaus... I see that they do share similar traits, even when it comes to their families, but I won't go into that too much, however, I do want to say that the main difference between Tommy and Klaus and how they react to the race of their partner is I feel like Tommy would be and is more aware of it.

Tommy knows Eden's black and doesn't ignore it or act colourblind, but you know he's very forward-thinking as well as dangerously ambitious, but fortunately, that side of him doesn't kick in until after the war.

…well we can only hope.

a/n:

does this make sense? I really can’t tell.

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itstheghostofmypast · 2 years

Text

Cuddling with Klaus

Genre: Fluff

Type: Requested HC

Klaus x GN Reader

Requested by @ciaobby: i need some cuddling hcs with the hargreeves! i know klaus would love to cuddle up on a rainy day :)

A/N: Two things;

1)I was literally sitting in the rain when I write this.

2)Personally, I am not a very affectionate person, especially physically- yes, it does bother a lot of people around me but hey, why hug when words are enough? (idk okay forgive me) BUT if I felt this would be the safest form of cuddling, in my lack of experience. I really wanted to do justice to @ciaobby request, please tell me if it's remotely close.

Gif credit to rightful owner

If there was one thing Klaus thought could make a rainy day even better it was, Y/N. He had met them at a bar- well actually, he had ended up being thrown out of their bar but when they had slammed the door with an "IF I SEE YOU AGAIN YOU'RE DEAD." He had been stabbed by cupid.

After which, the very next night he decided to make his way to the bar once more, a rainy night to be exact. With that cheeky smile he waved at them, earning a glare, but did that stop him? Of course not.

"Hey there babe ."

"Didn't I tell you I'd kill you if I see you here again?"

"Well that really isn't my fault now is it, your offer was so tempting, I'd die a million times if you took my soul~"

Confused and horrified they quietly walked away to another customer, not really sure of how to get rid of him. The only reason why Y/N had thrown him out before was because he had no intention of paying. They were sure he wouldn't tonight too, but since it was raining and Y/N was no monster, this cheap scape could stay.

Cue the two being the only people at the11 pm bar by 11pm.

"So~"

"There is no need to strike a conversation"

"Oh come on, we're alone in a bar on a lovely rainy night~ and you don't close till 1 am."

"Fair enough, but will you be paying tonight?"

"Of course."

"Good."

"With my companionship"

"....you better be good at holding up a conversation then."

He was, he truly was. He could talk about anything, from his family to his lost brother to his horrid father to his addiction to bath salts. Honestly not a bad person- just, too casual or maybe Y/N was too uptight.

Either way, one rainy night was followed by another rainy night- one too many and he had become a regular. A regular who would pay Y/N with his companionship and useless, yet comforting conversations.

"Hey, I was thinking." He asked as he took a shot, "You know so much about me, but I know nothing about you~"

"Well, I mean I'm not a very interesting person."

"Oh come on, everyone's interesting in their own way, quirks you know."

"Well then, what would you like to know?"

"Where do you live?"

"Too personal"

"Alright, why are you a bartender? God, you professionals."

"Because I wanted to be one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"Okay, okay, Y/N we get it, you're all so mysterious, but riddle me this, why haven't you thrown me out yet? Do you know? Usually" he pointed around the empty bar, "Even my family doesn't listen to me to this extend- let alone bear me, why have you, the ever so perfect Y/N, not done so?" He turned to look at them, confused, but somewhat comforted.

"Because" they began, staring at him then averting their gaze, the rain pattering against the large glass windows resonating throughout the dimly lit bar. Y/N never really knew why, most of their life they had just done whatever had to be done, lived in solitude, and made their way to their profession of choice. To be honest the only reason they bought this bar was that it came with an apartment and even though being alone was something they wanted but lately, the weather had been pulling them down. Before this idiot had arrived, empty nights like these were lonely and cold, which would make them feel like there was no point in anything, no point of living, no point of struggling.

"Hello? Earth to Y/N?"

"Huh?"

"You said because and trailed off, did you perhaps get lost in my beautiful eyes? They're like my mother's, you know."

He was right, he had beautiful eyes, those stark crystal blue orbs had pierced right through Y/N's soul the moment their eyes had met.

"Klaus?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you still come here even though I brush you off?"

"Because I like you...and I have a feeling you like me too but you're too stubborn to admit it - HEY HEY HEY WHY ARE YOU LEAVING"

"IT'S 1AM WE'RE CLOSING. SO LEAVE"

"BUT IT'S STILL RAINING OUTSIDE"

"oh"

"Lemme stay at your place, it'll be like a sleepover, I already know you live in the place above "

"HOW DO YOU KNOW, CREEP?"

Either way, he ended up in Y/N's apartment that night, truly amazed at the plants they had. The place was all warm and cozy, very different from the minimalistic bar. A one-bedroom apartment, but the open kitchen made it seem bigger, the kitchen was also Y/N's favorite place, to cook and eat, sometimes use the counter space to try random DIYs.

"Hey about before...me saying you like me...i was joki-"

"I do like you.'

"I'm sorry what."

"...do you not like...me-"

"oh no no no, of course i do- i mean i really do like you kind of why i've been coming here even though i'm not supposed to be drinking a lot... You know.." he waved his hands, "rehab and shit."

"Oh..."

"You don't seem all too excited there bub"

"I-i am it's just ... I just..."

"New to this...."

"...maybe"

"Shall we take it slow?"

"Y-yeah..."

That was the thing with Klaus, he was just so...calm and peaceful, he really did care about others and Y/N really needed someone who'd follow their pace.

From morning runs- which soon turned into walks because Klaus refused to run a mile at 6 am.

"YOU'RE INSANE"

"But ...exercise is good"

So, from morning WALKS to coffee at a random cafe, to trying out Menudo for the first time because he was able to convince them. He'd spend his free time at the bar- which was all the time, so as soon as Y/N was done for the day he'd take them upstairs and surprise them with a new dish every. He'd bring random things to their apartment, sometimes a bouquet, sometimes a vase (Still not sure why he brought it), and on the weirder side a grandfather clock.

"Okay, serious question"

"Yes?"

"Are you stealing these things?"

"Of course not!"

"Oh thank god-"

"I'm simply smuggling them out of my old man's house, the price on these things! They're like a safety deposit, you know, savings for rainy days."

"KLAUS!"

Either way, the thing Y/N loved about him the most was when he'd cuddle with them. They were never very affectionate, in fact, personal physical contact was not one of their strong suits, but with him, they had decided to let it work.

Initially, it was awkward, the physical contact, not knowing where to place their legs or arms. Y/N had also elbowed him 'accidentally' when his hand went south earning a,

'JUST SAY STOP NExT TIME- SheeSH CanT EVEN HAVE SOME FUN"

Either way, slowly it started to become easier, he had picked up on things Y/N was comfortable with, often letting them decide the way they'd spoon. On some occasions he'd continue to talk, allowing them to sleep to the sound of his voice.

On other occasions, when Y/N was really down and tired, he'd just open his arms for them and let them straddle him, burying their face in his neck as he sits on the couch. Usually, he'd stroke their back, allowing them to relax before gently asking;

"You wanna talk about it?"

If the answer is no, he never asks again, just kisses the top of their head and usually ends up humming a song, lulling them to sleep. If it's a yes, he'd listen quietly and intently, listening to each word with great focus, giving suggestions if needed, but often words of positive affirmations.

The best time to cuddle, for Y/N was when it would be raining, day or night, that did not matter at all. Usually, they'd close the bar, and lock themselves in Y/N's apartment. Klaus had suggested using scented candles and 'weighted blankets'- now while Y/N initially felt this was a dumb idea, they were later proved wrong, when they came home one rainy evening to find the couch in front of the window, facing the outside world. The apartment is littered with scented candles, illuminating the apartment as Klaus walks out of the kitchen with two mugs of hot chocolate,

"I present to you, the ultimate cuddle heaven."

"I..."

"No I, you or me or but. Take off your shoes and get on the couch, take a chill pill babe, everyone deserves down time, but no one deserves to be alone- except for dad, definitely dad does deserve to be alone"

Therefore, Y/N found themselves snuggling next to their boyfriend, holding onto a mug of hot chocolate. Inhaling his scent, Y/N kissed the skin of his neck, thanking him for becoming the source of her warmth and comfort to which he replied with a ;

"See, I told you my companionship is better money."

He was right, Y/N would trade everything for the world, only to be able to snuggle up with this immortal being.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A/N: The problem with writing and posting stuff at night is that YOU FORGET TO ADD STUFF- i forgot to add the taglist.

Taglist: @imaginesfire , @placidpluto , @achingwoundforaheart , @esmaada , @samyourneighbor , @xuenihao , @whoreofscience , @navs-bhat , @yuuki4646 , @simpformoonkight , @crowleysqueenofhell , @anapotatowriter thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)

#submission #requested #klaus tua #klaus x y/n #luther #allison #delores #reginald #lila #klaus umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #klaus x you #gn reader #fluff #cuddles #hc #fluff umbrella academy

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sylviareviar · 2 months

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NAME: Sylvia Reviar

AGE: 16

SPECIES: Human

GENDER: Female

ORIENTATION: Panromantic demisexual

PROFESSION: Student, animal shelter volunteer, Phantom Thief (Persona 5 verse), Pokemon rehab researcher and Pokemon Trainer (Pokemon verse), turbo duelist (Yu-Gi-Oh! verse), mage or bard (Fire Emblem or other fantasy verses)

—————————————————————————- { PHYSICAL ASPECTS }

BODY TYPE: Short and slender. Depending on the verse, if she does any kind of fighting, she sticks to moving quickly and avoiding attacks by nimbly dodging, and doesn't hit hard as a result, but her magic stat is usually pretty high.

EYES: Cerulean blue

SKIN: Very light white, a little pinkish, with freckles on her cheeks and nose, and a little bit on her shoulders.

HEIGHT: 4'11. Like I said, she's teeny-tiny.

—————————————————————————- { FAMILY }

FAMILY: She's adopted, so she doesn't have any distant relatives, however Khari Reviar is her adopted father. He doesn't have any siblings or living parents, though. In the YGO verse, she has an adopted grandfather named Klaus. That's the only verse where her family is different.

SIBLINGS: Jack Reviar, her older brother, and Lucy Reviar, her younger sister. Despite being in the middle, Lucy has often stepped up to protect her, making Sylvia sort of the youngest in spirit. In YGO, she doesn't have any blood related siblings, but Toru is her adopted brother.

ANY PETS?: Typically, no, but depending on the verse, she may have a pet horse living with her family. In P5 and YGO, her family owns a farm, and one horse she has bonded particularly close with is a black horse named Opal. In the Pokemon verse, of course, there are lots of Pokemon around her. In fantasy verses, she has a pet raven named Fleck. In Fire Emblem, she has no pets, but I may give her Opal again as a mount.

—————————————————————————- { SKILLS }

Sylvia is an artist who tends to be a jack of all trades. While her forte isn't in physical activity or movement, her real strengths lie in her love of art, music, writing, acting, and playing. In every verse, what makes her unique is her ability to skillfully draw and play music or sing. Whenever she is in combat, she usually also has surprisingly strong magical powers, sometimes to the point that it's difficult for her to control them, and they can end up going wild and hurting her or the people around her as a result. She is also rather intelligent, and gets high grades consistently in class, but because of her autism and undiagnosed ADHD, she relies quite a bit on accommodations such as extended test time or wearing headphones while studying. Her creative mind makes it so she is never bored when she's alone, meaning she doesn't often seek out other people, but gets lonely more easily as a result. When she gets so caught up in her own world, it's sometimes difficult to pull her out of it without startling her.

—————————————————————————- { LIKES }

COLORS: Pink, white, blue, purple, and any pastel color

SMELLS: Fresh baked bread, berries and fruits, any kind of evergreen, flowers such as roses, lavender, and cherry blossom, and snow.

SOUNDS: River water, cats meowing, music (in particular, she loves higher-pitched melodic sounds, like glockenspiel, music boxes, and flute), the sound of hooves or heels on the hard ground (for some reason it's just satisfying), and the sound of using a keyboard.

TEXTURES: Anything super soft and fluffy or fuzzy, like blankets, hoodies, and fur.

FOOD: She likes many kinds of food, but her absolute favorite are steak, as well as pomegranates and blueberries.

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?: yes [ ] || rarely [ ] || no [X]

FAVORITES: Anything that looks beautiful. She loves the stars, the sky, flowers, animals, the sea, what lies beneath the sea, friendships, sunsets, anything within which she can find beauty, she loves. She also likes happy endings in stories, and fairy tales that sometimes put a twist on the story, and she loves games with colorful aesthetics and graphics. So long as it's cute, most likely she likes it.

—————————————————————————- { OTHER DETAILS }

SMOKES?: yes [ ] || no [X] || occasionally [ ]

DRUGS?: yes [ ] || no (unless they're prescribed) [X] || occasionally [ ]

DRIVER LICENSE?: yes (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's verse) [X] || no (most other verses, but she can drive a tractor in Persona) [X]

EVER BEEN ARRESTED?: no [X] || yes [ ] || almost/detained [ ]

—————————————————————————-

DONE. now tag other 15 people to do it.

Oh god I don't think I even know that many people. Ok if you're a multimuse just choose whichever muse you want.

Tagging: @electricea @tvstarkuma @the-flower-karasu @phantomuheist @tophatz @jokerxkurusu @nijimx @silver-strings-of-fate @webbedphantom @orphemiss If I missed you just assume I tagged you too because I genuinely can't remember everyone off the top of my head.

tagged by: @tres-fidelis

#🌸 ~ out of character ~ 🌸#🌸 ~ persona 5 verse ~ 🌸#🌸 ~ pokemon verse ~ 🌸#🌸 ~ Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's verse ~ 🌸#🌸 ~ Fire Emblem New Mystery verse ~ 🌸#🌸 ~ Fire Emblem Three Houses verse ~ 🌸

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grigori77 · 1 year

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2022 in TV - My Top 10 Shows

10. THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (season 3, Netflix)

The lovable and deeply weird adaptation of My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way’s epic mindfuck of a cult comic book from showrunner Steve Blackman (Bones, Fargo, Altered Carbon) has pulled off a particularly impressive feat, managing to drop THREE essentially perfect seasons of TV in a row without ANY signs of flagging in quality, pace or sheer sense of fun. After the bonkers time-travel shenanigans of the first two seasons, things in the timeline have REALLY gone to pot, and now the gloriously dysfunctional Hargreaves siblings have got a truly diabolical enemy to deal with, namely the Sparrow Academy, a far superior group of superpowered oddballs that were trained by their adoptive father, Sir Reginald Hargreaves (Colm Feore), when he discovered what a “massive disappointment” his original collection of inexplicable orphans would become. Worse still is the fact that one of them is a new, far more unpleasant version of their late brother Ben (After Yang’s Justin Min), who instantly takes a personal set against them … absolutely bonkers and enjoyably irreverent, this show remains as unrepentantly mad as ever, with the entire cast shining throughout, although once again Robert Sheehan effortless steals every scene as louchely nihilistic clairvoyant Klaus. Extra kudos of course have to go to the show for allowing Elliot Page to transition as his character goes from Vanya to Viktor, although we should also thank Netflix for seeing the good sense in picking it up for one more season after this given that whopper of a cliffhanger …

9. OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH (HBO Max)

One of the year’s biggest surprise hits came in the form of this riotously unique surrealist sitcom series based on the true life tale of Stede Bonnet, the gloriously flighty 18th Century Barbadian aristocrat who left his plush life of privilege and luxury in order to pursue his personal dream of becoming The Gentleman Pirate. Problem was, he’s THE WORST pirate there ever was, a genuine embarrassment to the profession, who mostly rose to fame after he was taken prisoner by and become the object of playful amusement of the feared terror of the High Seas himself, Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard. The undeniable highlight of this show has to be enjoying the sparkling interplay between the two leads – Rhys Darby is, as always, an unbridled delight as Bonnet, the most unflappably effervescent hopeful idiot to have ever lived, while Taika Waititi’s clearly having the time of his life presenting the most feared pirate who ever lived as a disenchanted but ultimately gentle soul who’s long since grown tired of the ferocious façade he’s had to cultivate for himself over the years. The rest of the cast are huge fun too (none more-so than Ewen Bremner as Bonnet’s entirely bizarre first mate Buttons), while the characters and sparkling scripts crafted by showrunner David Jenkins (People of Earth) and his writing team are a veritable masterclass in how to present a perfect show about LGBTQIA folk and their daily struggles through the prism of delightful absurdist comedy.

8. THE MIDNIGHT CLUB (Netflix)

Mike Flanagan continues his assault of sheer small screen horror brilliance with this pitch perfect (sort of) anthology series based around the tales told by a group of teenagers thrown together in Seattle’s Brightcliffe Hospice for terminally ill adolescents in the mid-90s as they attempt to deal with impending death and all the horrific emotional baggage that comes with it. Iman Benson (Uncle Buck, Black AF) shines incredibly brightly in an astounding youthful cast as Ilonka, the desperate dreamer who’s checked in with the intention of discovering the source behind a little known cure for her thyroid cancer which may exist somewhere in the hospice, while Nightmare On Elm Street’s Heather Langenkamp is wonderfully complex as Brightcliffe’s firm-but-fair chief resident doctor Georgina, and a winning selection of Flanagan regulars show up in a variety of roles (along with the resident cast) in a variety of intriguing roles in the titular group’s cathartic late night pastime of telling each other spooky tales. These are the undeniable highlight on offer throughout the series, covering a fascinating range of genres from mysterious whodunnits and ghost stories to time-twisting sci-fi brain-melters that never fail to impress as Flanagan gets a chance to stretch his range a bit, but the overarching storyline is intensely compelling too as we come to really care about and root for these kids. As we’ve come to expect from his work, this is spooky, creepy and insidiously unsettling, but once again there’s as much emotional intensity on offer here as bone-deep spine-chilling terror. Unlike the rest of his TV work to date, however, this one was CLEARLY intended to be a proper ONGOING series … so of course Netflix has gone and cancelled it. At least we’ve got his adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher to look forward to, and he’s DETERMINED to bring Stephen King’s legendary The Dark Tower to the screen in far better style than the criminally awful 2017 movie, so there’s still hope …

7. CYBERPUNK: EDGERUNNERS (Netflix)

Another big surprise hit sneaking in under the radar this year was this unexpected anime gem from Kill la Kill creators Studio Trigger, based on the cult tabletop RPG which spawned the troubled yet deliriously popular video game. Anyone who knows me, of course, knows this is RIGHT UP MY STREET, I’m a total sucker for anything cyberpunk, as well as anime in general, so this was a perfect combo for me, but even so I was generally surprised by just HOW UNBELIEVABLY GOOD this actually turned out to be. It’s pretty short too – with ten episodes each clocking at around the 25-minute mark it’s pretty easy to binge in a single sitting – but thoroughly sweet, each instalment propelling the impressively robust story forward at quite the pacy clip towards a suitably explosive climax, with plenty of blistering action and compellingly dark techno-shenanigans along the way. The real reward here, however, is the characters, a crew of dysfunctional misfits brought together over the course of the series who perfectly encapsulate the brilliantly crafted universe’s dark and dangerous criminal underworld – the central love story between teenage dropout turned cybernetically-enhanced mercenary David and born-survivor elite hacker Lucy is compellingly intense and realistically written, but the best addition here has to be hyperactive pint-sized cyber-badass Rebecca, who’s an ultraviolent delight from start to finish. The animation is some of the very best I’ve EVER seen in anime, and the design work throughout is never less than stellar, wisely taking its lead from the impressively inventive game but still happy to carve its own path. The end result is one of the best animated shows I’ve come across in quite some time (it’s not on Arcane’s level, but comes damn close), so it’s a shame that, since it was apparently intended to be a standalone, we’re unlikely to see any more in the future …

6. WARRIOR NUN (season 2, Netflix)

Debuting in the middle of the Pandemic turned out to be a stroke of truly great luck for Continuum creator Simon Barry’s unique but also intrinsically challenging adaptation of Ben Dunn’s gloriously bonkers comic book Warrior Nun Areala, which became an impressive runaway hit for Netflix and made a second season inevitable. Gods knew it quickly earned a rabid following (myself among them) who were champing at the bit for more, but shooting restrictions meant we’d have to wait a little bit … but it’s finally arrived and it is REALLY GREAT, actually IMPROVING on the previous run as we follow unlikely Warrior Nun Ava Silva (a truly spellbinding turn from the thoroughly adorable Alba Baptista) and her gang of rogue holy helpers on their quest to take down the Big Bad false messiah threatening to turn the world into hell on earth, the fallen angel Adriel (William Miller). Along the way they get into an endlessly inventive series of scrapes, fights and misadventures that are a gleefully subversive joy to watch, but once again the real charm here is the will-they-won’t-they back-and-forth dance that continues between Ava and Kristina Tonteri-Young’s precocious but also thoroughly awkward Sister Beatrice. Plotwise, things are tied off in a fairly neat little bow by the end of this season – albeit through an emotionally devastating climax which you definitely need to keep the tissues handy for – but even so there’s enough room for more that it’s a criminal shame that Netflix have decided to pull the plug on this one too.

5. PEACEMAKER (HBO Max)

Whatever you might think about Warner Bros./Discovery in general regarding its current treatment of the future of the DCEU (especially after the shocking fate that befell the heavily anticipated Batgirl movie), and about filmmaker James Gunn in particular now that he’s taken over as the head honcho on the franchise itself, you can’t deny that he did a phenomenal job with this deliciously non-PC spinoff from his awesome 2021 Suicide Squad soft-reboot. Michael Cena’s Christopher Smith was one of the film’s biggest hits, so a series following his exploits as the titular antihero was a damn smart move, the former wrestler-turned-actor once again proving what a comedic genius he is as he flexes, gurns and drops hilarious inadvertent one-liners as one of THE WORST SUPERHEROES in the entire DC Universe. That being said, the show’s frequently stolen out from under him by Unreal and Time After Time’s Freddie Stroma, who’s even more of a blissfully awkward joy as Smith’s best friend/unwitting nemesis Adrian Chase, aka Vigilante, a ridiculously talented combat nerd who desperately wants to be a badass dark avenger like his bestie, while there are similarly game turns from Jennifer Holland and Steve Agee (both reprising their roles from The Suicide Squad) as the downtrodden ARGUS agents charged with keeping Smith under control along with Danielle Brooks’ geeky new recruit, and there’s an irreverent and perfectly scummy turn from Robert Patrick as the Peacemaker’s white supremacist supervillain father August Smith, the infamous White Dragon. A riot from start to finish, this show is packed with over-the-top, ultraviolent action, jet black humour and an endless series of razor sharp winks, nods and homages from one of the best geek-master filmmakers in the business. Best of all, though, has to be that STONE COLD GENIUS title sequence, choreographed to perfection to the brilliantly awful earworm Do You Wanna Taste It from irreverent Norwegian glam metal band Wig Wam, which is guaranteed to have you crying you’ll be laughing so hard. Personally, I can’t wait for more of this one.

4. GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (Netflix)

Anyone who’s been following me long enough to know what I like should know that Guillermo del Toro is one of my favourite filmmakers of all time, I simply ADORE his work, so an anthology show of dark and disturbing horror stories shot-right-through with his irresistible geeky stylistic DNA was a no-brainer for me. ESPECIALLY since he opens every episode with an adorable intro where he presents his philosophical thoughts on what we’re about to experience in the style of Rod Serling. XD The stories on offer, meanwhile, are an eclectic bunch, ranging from short-sharp-shock creature features to broadly satirical body horror, but there’s an impressive line in cosmic terror on offer here too, with several entries wearing del Toro’s deep-seeded Lovecraft influence on their sleeves. They’re also consistently impressive, without a single dud in the selection, although the undeniable highlights of the whole bunch, for me, have to be the adaptations of actual Lovecraft stories, Pickman’s Model and Dreams in the Witch House, which perfectly encapsulate the author’s restless sense of endless low-key dread and horrific anticipation, with the eldritch horrors unleashed brought to deeply disturbing life through a selection of impressively palpable physical effects that’s become one of del Toro’s greatest strengths. The production values on offer here are second to none, as is the quality of the ensemble casts and the directors bringing each story to life, which includes the likes of Vincenzo Natali (Cube, Splice), Panos Cosmatos (Mandy), Ana Lily Amirpour (A Girl Walks Home At Night) and David Prior (The Empty Man) - each filmmaker does wonders for their individual stories, showing spectacular flair and skill throughout, but every single episode still has the titular master of weird cinema’s fingerprints all over it. Which is exactly what you want from such a wondrous tribute to one of the best visual storytellers out there right now …

3. THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA (Amazon Prime)

Netflix really seems to have dominated all on the small screen this year, but Amazon have still managed to make their presence felt with one of this past year’s BEST OFFERINGS, in the form of a gleefully irreverent animated adaptation of the first Campaign of wildly successful Dungeons & Dragons-based live-play table-top RPG webcast series Critical Role. Most of my followers should already be keenly aware that I am quietly OBSESSED with the ongoing games, so when they announced this I was almost delirious in my excitement, and this first season paid off all our mad expectation MAGNIFICENTLY. Starting out as a Kickstarter by the Crit Role gang themselves with the intention simply to make an animated special, the resulting support was SO STRONG they were able to spring for a whole series, which was then picked up for genuine syndication by Amazon, and the rest, as they say, is history … best of all, though, is the fact that, because it’s their baby, the original cast IN THEIR ENTIRETY are involved in bringing it together, from the writing to the character performances, and since they’re a collection of highly talented voice-actors they’ve done a STUNNING job here … but then THEY DO know their characters right to the bone. Animated with EXQUISITE attention to detail by Titmouse (Metalocalypse, Star Trek: Lower Decks, Animaniacs and Pantheon among others), packed with stunning action and dark thrills and shot-through from start to finish with an infectious sense of humour, not to mention a veritable DUMPTRUCK’s worth of epic feels, this is an absolute riot from start to finish. I’m waiting with eager anticipation for the imminent arrival of the second season, and am sublimely happy Amazon have already commissioned a third …

2. STRANGER THINGS 4 (Netflix)

After season 4 ended in such a crazy place, with Eleven (Millie Bobbie Brown) depowered and Hopper (David Harbour) assumed dead but actually VERY MUCH ALIVE in a Siberian gulag, we were left with a hell of a lot of crazy questions, but we never had any doubt The Duffer Brothers would deliver those answers and more in style. That being said, they really pulled out ALL THE STOPS with this season, not only upping the scale to delirious levels but also massively increasing the overall runtime, which even prompted Netflix to employ a somewhat frustrating tactic of splitting the season into TWO PARTS with an entire month of waiting in-between … but at least the end result was some of the year’s most engrossing and thoroughly AWESOME television. Certainly this one packed the small screen’s biggest amount of WOW, as we’re finally given the fascinating but also thoroughly horrifying origin story to both the Hawkins Lab psychic experimentation project AND the Upside Down itself … giving away more threatens MASSIVE spoilers, but once again every aspect of the show deserves LASHINGS of praise heaped upon it, from the spectacular effects work (particularly some truly stunning prosthetic make-up work bringing the series’ ultimate Big Bad to life) to the uniformly astounding cast, with the ever-reliable returning players (particularly Brown, Harbour, Winona Ryder, Gaten Matarazzo, Sadie Sink and Joe Keery) once again doing their fair share of the heavy-lifting while the newcomers (most notably Joseph Quinn, Jamie Campbell Bower and Tom Wlaschiha) each make strong impressions going forward. By turns thrilling, terrifying, heartfelt, funny and inventive, but always pitch-perfect in its nostalgic charm, this show continues to be one of the very best pieces of top-notch small-screen entertainment around, and I cannot wait to see what’s to come in the final season …

1. THE SANDMAN (Netflix)

If ANYTHING was gonna beat Stranger Things to the top spot, it could only have been Neil Gaiman’s VERY hands-on adaptation of his own thoroughly beloved revolutionary cult comic book series. Seriously, Gaiman changed the game with this title, so he was THE ONLY ONE we, the hardcore faithful, could possibly trust to bring his masterwork to life on the small screen, and after his astonishing efforts with the Good Omens show we had the utmost faith that he had the chops to pull it off. We were not wrong … working closely with fellow showrunners David Goyer (Blade, Batman Begins) and Allan Heinberg (Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Wonder Woman), Gaiman has produced a series that wisely stays faithful to the original source material, essentially splitting this first season into two arcs, with the first realising Book 1 of the comic, Preludes & Nocturnes, while the second focuses on Book 2, The Doll House. Tom Sturridge (The Boat That Rocked) was PERFECT casting as Dream of the Endless, one of a unique family of near all-powerful cosmic beings charged with the control and caretaking of various aspects of the Universe itself – Dream, obviously, rules over the province of the Subconscious, while his sister, Death (Killing Eve’s Kirby Howell-Baptiste), is pretty self-explanatory, but not at all what you’d expect. After imprisonment for almost a century, Dream is looking to put his house back in order, but this brings him into direct conflict with various entities, including, dangerous “sorcerer” John Dee (David Thewlis), the Devil themselves, Lucifer (Gwendoline Christie), and monstrous rogue nightmare The Corinthian (a chilling performance from Boyd Holbrook), while the foundations for a far darker, more wide-reaching conspiracy are being laid by hands much closer to his heart … this adaptation is nothing short of a MASTERPIECE, Gaiman and his helpers bringing his creation to life in the most magnificent of ways in one of the most spectacular chunks of television I’ve ever had the privilege to witness. Spellbindingly beautiful, emotionally devastating, spine-chillingly horrifying and effortlessly entertaining in equal measure, every single element of this show was brought to bear with the utmost attention to detail, and the results are nothing short of perfection. Netflix have wisely picked it up for a second season, but we can only hope they maintain their faith in the series long enough for Gaiman to bring the entire saga to life …

Honourable mentions:

The Boys (season 3, Amazon Prime); Andor (Disney+); House of the Dragon (HBO); 1899 (Netflix); Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Paramount+); Obi Wan Kenobi (Disney+); Reacher (Amazon Prime); Interview With the Vampire (AMC); The Man Who Fell To Earth (Showtime); Gangs of London (season 2, Sky Atlantic)*

*What can I say? There was A LOT of great TV this past year …

#best tv shows of 2022 #the umbrella academy #our flag means death #the midnight club #cyberpunk edgerunners #warrior nun #peacemaker #guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities #the legend of vox machina #stranger things 4 #The Sandman

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