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tremendum · 1 year

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please give me alllll of your mr miller headcanons, particularly the really kinky nasty stuff, i'm obsessed with your writing!! (no pressure)

yessss twist my arm i will start a little hc list for all the kinks mr miller would have (these aren’t thattttt nasty tho) NSFW BELOW THE CUT. MDNI. (rough sex, various kinks so be cautious lol)

(disclaimer - most of this is informed by my own interpretation of Mr Miller!Joel as well as some other great concepts i’ve probably read in a similar vein.)

ok let’s kick this off

fighting. this is obvious but he gets unbelievably hard seeing how worked up you get and the lengths you will go to piss him off. nothing gets him more turned on than when you call him disgusting or you disrespect him (he’s fucked up a bit ok)

he’s def got a sir kink in this series, loves when you act up but then have to treat him with respect to get what u want. he loves to tell you what a little slut you are for him and to hear you mutter back “thank you, sir”

i’ve mentioned this before: slapping. he’s def the kinda man who would get a thrill from fighting as we’ve seen and like if he makes u mad or something and you just smack him BAM he’s instantly hard. he thinks your anger is so hot and it fuels his fire

would be the kind of man to make you watch him jack off. he’d sit you on the ground on your knees while he palms himself, not let u touch yourself maybe even cuff you while he fucks his fist. and dirty talks the whole time, teasing you but absolutely losing it over how badly you want to touch him, how you beg to feel him in your throat. he’d def get off to the fact that you were a fucking mess for him and he’s in control

he’s def into ass play…. he’d threaten it at first but if you’re into it he’d fs finger your tight hole while fucking you or he’d make you finger yourself while fucking you doggystyle….,,, omfg.

he’s def into overstimulation and edging BOTH depending on his mood:

the brat tamer in joel would absolutely love to edge you until you’re sobbing - usually when he’s super pissed off. slowing down just as you’re about to cum, bringing you to the edge with his fingers, tongue, cock, anything and then taking it all away until you’re sobbing and furious. he’d also relish in making you touch yourself but not let you make yourself cum until he says so.

similarly but in a different tone, if Joel’s feeling affectionate or even jealous he’d want you to cum as many times as possible. nothing is sexier to him than how your slippery cunt squeezes him when you’re overstimulated - how your chest sweats, hands and thighs shake.

alluded to this already but he’d LOVE to tie u up. leave u stuck like that and tease u for hours oh my god and like seeing ur pretty holes exposed and so wet for him it’d drive you crazy

the sound of you begging while his cock is down ur throat. he loves throatfucking you god he dreams of it, making you choke on him and swallow around him, completely at his mercy.

if you’d established consent before he’d love to go down on you while you’re sleeping. waking up with his head between your thighs, def drawing several orgasms from u until ur screaming. or waking u up with his cock at your lips, slipping into ur mouth as u wake up. he’d love the bleary, blissed look in ur eyes as he takes u apart first thing

and of course he’d have a kink for almost getting caught. be it in the woods on patrol (if it’s safe ofc), near an open window, in public…. GOD and he’d love to tease you under a table or something before pretending he hadn’t done it. maybe he’d tell u not to wear panties under ur dress when you sit in the back of the cinema in Jackson during movie night so he can feel u….

i think he’d love loveeeee cumplay. cumming on you - your face, chest, tits, ass, pussy. even ur clothes. all of it. he wants you to lick it all clean for him, he’d be obsessed with playing with your puffy cunt that’s full of his cum and yours, then shoving his fingers down your throat to watch you lap it all up. he’s obsessed with it.

my last hc is a breeding kink. it’s more of the possession that comes with it - he doesn’t rly want a kid rn, lord knows he already has his hands full w ellie, but he gets so goddamn riled up at the idea of you walking around full of him. so he’d mutter the dirtiest shit to you about it and your flushed reaction just pushes him further - calling you dirty for wanting to be plugged full of him.

no tag list because i’m in class and lazy 😚 a work in progress. lmk what y’all think or if you have any other ideas!! i can expand on any of these 😏

#let's chat abt mr miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #the last of us (hbo)#the last of us (tv)#the last of us #mr miller is ruining my life tbh

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moodysullie · 1 year

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ㅤ

Oh he bad, Bill had it bad.

Look how nervous he is

And also... THIS

ㅤ

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its-hyperfixation · 1 year

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@tlounetwork | The Last of Us Week 2023

day 3: favourite parallel

"i'm not her, you know?"

#tlouweek2023 #tlounetwork #tlou #tlouedit #the last of us #tlou gifs #thelastofusedit #tloudaily #hbo tlou #joel the last of us #joel and ellie #ellie the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us hbo #ayman gifs #bellamyblakru #apparently i think favourite parallel means most gut wrenching heart breaking life ruining parallel #so here we are

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userpedros · 1 year

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those three little words || joel miller

pairing: Joel Miller x female!reader

This story takes place in Jackson after the events of Salt Lake

Summary: It'd been a while since you, Joel and Ellie had gotten settled in Jackson. But those three words that were still unspoken were left to linger in the air.

Word Count: 3.5k+

Warnings: age gap - Joel is in his 50's, reader in her late 20's (because apparently, that's all I know how to write), slightly angsty, slighty sweet. it's like a fun lil sour patch kid but instead of sour, you get some angst. implied sexy time but nothing is mentioned.

A/N: This has not been beta read, I did go back over it once to proofread but that's it. Anyway, Soft!Joel is my favorite and you can all pry him out of my cold, dead hands! That's it!

"Ellie, get back here! Damnit!" Joel huffed as he chased the teen through the wild backyard. The smell of summer was thick and the cicadas were screaming with all the might their tiny little insect bodies had. The loud noise brought back some nostalgia for you. Nostalgia and longing for times before the cordyceps took over.

But today, with the beautiful weather, it felt like old times before the world had gone to shit. The family you'd gained along the way, the older man and the teen running around the yard seemed to call to better times for you. It felt better, things felt right. Most of all, you'd begun to feel at home, a feeling foreign to you for so many years. Now you had a home. You had a home in Jackson, and you had a home in Joel and Ellie. You were finally starting to feel at ease.

You smiled as you watched Joel and Ellie play with the worn soccer ball in the backyard. He'd never admit it, just like he’d never admit a lot of things, even though Joel was in his fifties, that man could still kick a soccer ball around like no one's business. Most importantly, he was totally letting Ellie win. Joel the soccer dad back at it again, everything was as it should be.

You sighed as you turned around, a smile still plastered to your face as you watched from the porch, taking a seat in the old rusted yellow patio chair. You whopped and hollered for Ellie as she tried her hardest to beat Joel, her brown hair falling out of her bun, trying to run circles around the man.

The afternoon dragged on as the two continued in the yard for several hours. Finally, as they both started to slow down, they began to head toward the house. Joel tugged Ellie under his arms as he ruffled her hair, earning a sigh and groan from her as she tried to slip out from under his grasp. He let her go as he took in the sight of you, watching them from the porch. Your face held nothing but the brightest smile, something that came quickly to you when you saw him.

You began to space out into thought as Joel and Ellie took seats across from you on the porch. They began to talk about the patrols she’d been warming up to, Tommy taking her far away from infected but letting her have a handle on his rifle with a scope. Joel smiled along with her as they talked about how good of a shot she was, better than many kids in Jackson at her age.

You watched as Joel watched you most of the time, taking time to pay attention to Ellie but mostly keeping his brown eyes trained on you. Joel was a protective man, something that just didn’t go away, even after the safety you three had now. The last twenty years had provided him with enough material for nightmares for the rest of his life. He was different now though. He was a man who changed. He was not the same Joel that lived in those shitty apartments FEDRA handed out. He wasn’t the same man taking those shitty jobs for rations that were more like ghosts, disappearing just as fast as they came.

A weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders as soon as you three settled in Jackson. He held your hand now in public and called you pet names in public. He did more for you than he’d ever done for Tess. Which of course, left some sadness that panged deep in your stomach when you thought of her and how things ended up; but hey, you couldn’t control how things ended up.

You and Joel had become inseparable, creating the little family you three knew you needed. You came back to Earth from your little space out, looking back at Joel, turning away from the smiling teen's face as she told one of her famous puns.

You both laughed in sync, looking over to Ellie as she stood up with the final line of her pun.

“There’s more where that came from, folks!” Her smile beamed even more prominent when she heard someone call for her from the front of the house. “Alright, guess that’s my cue to go. I’ll see you guys later!” Ellie stood up and waved as she walked into the house. You both watched as she disappeared from your lines of sight. You could hear her entering the kitchen to grab a snack before heading out to hang out with whoever was at the front door. You sighed and shook your head as you stood up.

“Maybe we should go get cleaned up, hmm?” Joel said as he stood up, holding his hand out for you to grab.

You grabbed his hand as you both made your way inside, Joel holding the door open like a complete gentleman. That was nothing new though, he was always like that with you. You two together was something new since you came to Jackson but it was something you two had both welcomed as soon as it happened.

“Hmmm… what should we do now that El’s gone?” You peered up at Joel as you both stopped in the entry way of the kitchen.

He grabbed both of your hands and intertwined them with his as he pulled you in closer. He released one hand as he held the back of your head, placing a small kiss on your crown.

“’M actually supposed to be meetin’ with Tommy ‘bout some new routes for Patrols. Sorry darlin’.” He pulled back as he looked down at you.

“You have some time before you head out?” You wiggled your eyebrows as you looked up at him, giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes that you could muster.

“What’d you have in mind?”

“I was thinking I could help you clean up a ‘lil before you left. Just a thought.” You giggled as his brown eyes went wide.

“Oh, I think that’s a great idea, could use all the help I can get. ‘Specially with one spot, ‘s real tricky to get just right by myself.” He winked as he whisked you up in a flash and carried you up the stairs. The mixture of your combined laughter filled the air as you two settled in for a shower, making sure to lock the bathroom door as the cleaning session began.

It was later at night when Ellie burst through the door, a smile heavy on her lips as she took you in. You were sitting in your reading chair in the corner of the living room, a small reading light clipped to your book as a blanket covered your lap.

You were so deep into whatever it was that you were reading you hadn’t even noticed the teen come through the door.

“Where’s Joel?” When she spoke out loud it startled you, causing you to drop your book on the floor and place a hand on your chest, trying to steady your breathing.

“Holy shit Ellie! Warning!” You looked up at her as you picked your book off of the floor and placed it on the chair you were sitting in as you stood up. “He’s out with Tommy, something about new routes.” You shrugged as you made your way over to her.

She took in the sight of what you were wearing. One of Joel’s button-downs and a pair of leggings. “Joel’s gonna lose his mind if he sees you’re in his clothes again.” She looked at you and down before she headed into the kitchen.

“Water?” She looked back at you as you grabbed the water and glass for her. It was something you didn’t mind doing, acting as her surrogate mother. You adored her, and the trek across the country you two had made with her only solidified how much you cared about her, even though you were in your later 20’s you still cared for her the way a mother should. After all, she needed that and you needed someone to care for just as much.

“Joel will get over it. Here’s your water, sweet girl.” You smiled at her, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“You’re right he will. He really cares about you, you know? Not like how he cares about me, but somethin’ really different.” She gulps down the water as she starts to head towards the cabinets to begin to raid them for a snack, even though the only things in there were expired things Joel had brought home for her on supply runs.

“I know, I care about him too.” You smiled at her as you stepped back into the living room. You grabbed your blanket from the chair and sat on the couch, waiting for Ellie to join you.

She made her way over to you, sinking into the old fabric, and settling into your side. There you two sat for a few moments, just taking in the silence and serenity of being safe while cuddling in the blanket together. She broke the silence by completely catching you off guard when she spoke.

“I know he loves you. He loves us both, he just won’t say it.” You didn’t bother to look down at her as you looked across the room and stared at the old painting that hung on the wall. You really studied the boat scene as you thought about what she’d just said.

You’d told Joel you loved him one night when you two had finally started to get settled in Jackson. He’d acted as if he hadn’t heard you, shutting the bathroom door, and ending the conversation between you two. You never brought it up again. You knew he cared about you, you wanted him to care about you the way you cared about him, but you knew after all that he’d seen and the incredibly high walls he’d built, it might take an incredibly long time before he ever felt feelings like that again.

“I know he loves you, Els. Anyone can see the way he cares about you.” You sighed as you squeezed her into your side.

She dropped the subject, knowing it wasn’t going to get anywhere. That was always the one thing that stayed quiet and closeted between you three. Those three little words. Joel and Ellie were so caged up they’d probably never say them. She sighed as she rested her head on your shoulder. “I’m happy you two got stuck with me as cargo. Feels nice, like I finally have a family.”

You kissed her forehead as you felt tears well in your eyes. “We are a family, sweet girl. You’ll always have us.”

You felt her breathe out as you two sat there longer in silence before the world went dark and you two were passed out on the couch, cuddled up in the blanket.

It was a lot later when you woke up to the sound of the front door closing. Ellie was still fast asleep against you when you turned your head up to look at whoever had walked in the door. You squeezed her into you tighter a surge of panic going through you. You took a deep breath when you saw that it was just Joel.

You realize then that you must’ve fallen asleep. You wonder what time is it as he walks over to where you two were seated on the couch. He spoke in a low tone, careful not to take Ellie.

“Should we just leave her on the couch? Don’t really wanna wake her up, she looks so peaceful.” He smiled down at her as you carefully got up, leaving the blanket wrapped around her form. You reached behind her and put a pillow under her head carefully, trying your hardest to keep her asleep. You nodded as you motioned toward the stairs. Joel followed behind you.

You could feel his eyes burning into you as you walked up the stairs as quietly as you could. You knew he was going to say something about you wearing one of his shirts again, but you didn’t care. He normally didn’t either, he usually just wanted to take it off as soon as he saw it on you. Things had been a little different ever since you said those three little words and he’d ignored you. Sure they normally felt alright during the day or whenever you two were intimate but at night when everything was still and quiet, things always felt different and weird. It felt like uncertainty hung in the air. Uncertainty of where things might end up or where you would end up if you brought it back up.

Joel shut the door quietly behind you as you walked to your side of the bed, crawling in without bothering to change. You were exhausted and you just wanted to sleep.

Joel had other plans though as he stood against the door, crossing his arms, his eyes continuing to burn into you just as they had on the stairs.

“You comin’ to bed, Joel?” You fluffed the pillows up behind you, sitting up as you waited for him to fall into bed next to you.

“You’re wearin’ my shirt again.” He stated as he stood against the door, he almost looked rooted there, as if he’d taken up station there for the night. His back was rigid as he watched your every move, his arms still crossed, his biceps bulging underneath the tan jacket he always wore.

“Sorry, just wanted to feel close to you, that’s all.” You sighed as your eyebrows rose as you continued to hold his gaze. “I can take it off if ya want.”

“No, it’s fine where it is, just makin’ an observation. Looks real good on you anyways.” He huffed out as he walked over to the chair that sat next to the window.

You watched as he shed his jacket. You closed your eyes to give him privacy as he changed into a pair of sweatpants, sans shirt. You sighed as you felt him crawl into bed next to you. You suddenly couldn’t swallow the words that seemed to bubble up in your throat. You felt constricted as the words that Ellie had spoken to you earlier came to mind. The words and thoughts were out of your mouth faster than you could register, making you wish you were flexible enough to shove your foot in your mouth.

“I think we need to talk Joel.” You cringed as you let the words fly out of your mouth. They hung in the air for a few seconds, waiting for a response

You waited for a response but none came, the bed suddenly groaning as he stood up, walking to the end of the bed. He turned around and stared down at you, waiting for you to say something. You took in his form, trying to keep your eyes on his face instead of his arms and chest. This was a serious conversation and you weren’t going to let your hormones take over.

“Well go on, what do we need to talk about?” His arms were crossed once again and he looked irritated. You were still half wishing you hadn’t spoken and taken the path you usually traveled, not talking to Joel about your feelings.

“Remember about a week after we finally got settled in Jackson, it was late and we were goin’ to bed-,” He cut you off, holding his hand up.

“I think I know where this is goin’.” He ran his hands down his face as he took in a deep sigh.

You watched as his chest heaved and the words came flying out of your mouth.

“I told you I loved you Joel and you didn’t say a word. You didn’t even look at me, you just got up and went to the bathroom. You waited in there ‘till I fell asleep.” The words were out now, nothing could shove them back in your mouth. You wanted to crawl into a hole, become an armadillo so he couldn’t see the red staining your cheeks. The embarrassment that you had to be the one to bring it up and you just didn’t wait for him to eventually say it, even though you both knew that was never going to happen.

“Why didn’t you say anything that night Joel?” You pulled the blanket up to your chest as you took a deep breath and continued. “You just let me say it that night. You just let me say it and you just walked away. Do you know how bad that hurt?”

He didn’t say anything as he turned out and looked out the window. He walked closer to it, resting his hands on the sill, and placing his forehead against the cool glass.

“I don’t have a good answer for that one, darlin.’”

You could feel the air thickening as tears welled up in your eyes. “What are you so scared of, Joel? Why can’t you just tell me how you feel? I’m sick of actin’ like everything is great but every night when we go to bed it’s as still and quiet as can be.”

“I can’t tell you because I can’t give you what you want sweetheart. I’m old. I feel myself gettin’ older every day. I can’t be what you need for long.” You could hear his voice getting deeper and huskier.

You stood up and made your way over to where he was placed in front of the window. You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing as you spoke.

“I have everything I could ever want. I have you and I have Ellie. No matter what happens tomorrow, I am happy.” You sighed as you moved your hand and placed your head on his shoulder. “I love you, Joel. Nothing is going to change that. I’ll love you ‘till the day something happens to one of us and I’ll love you after that.”

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. You both continued to stare out the window, taking in the view of the Wyoming mountains in the distance.

“It’s so beautiful here, Joel. I never thought I’d end up somewhere like this. I never thought I could be happy like this again.” His head lifted as he looked over at you, watching you as you watched the mountains in the distance.

“I know what you mean. Never thought I’d end up here either. Never thought I’d have the chance to be happy again like this.” He turned, his southern accent thick and dripping with sadness for the past. He looked down at you, your head falling off of his shoulder to crane back to look into his eyes.

“I think you’ve known for a while that I care about you, darlin’. You know that I love you. It just seems like somethin’ so stupid to admit in a world like this. I haven’t said those words in 20 years.”

You nodded as you looked back out to the view, understanding what he meant by that. He probably hadn’t said that to anyone since he’d last said that to his daughter, Sarah. You knew that was probably as much as you were going to get out of him. You were just happy he finally said it and that he’d opened up a little bit. Sarah was such a sore topic, for good reason. A small smile broke out across your face as you stayed peering out at the mountains.

You two stood there for a while, just like that. You looked out at the view and he looked out at you. The silence finally broke when Joel coughed a bit, putting a free hand on your back. You turned and looked at him letting out a sigh as you started to head toward the queen-sized bed you both shared.

“Ready for bed, Miller?” You smiled up at him as you both went your separate ways to your sides of the bed.

“Ready for bed, sweet girl.” He smiled a weak smile at you as you both climbed into bed. He pulled you into his arms, your head leaning down to rest on his chest. Sleep started to overcome you fast as he pulled the duvet up onto your body.

The last thing you heard before you were engulfed in the sweetest and deepest sleep you’d had in a while was an omission from Joel. The sweetest words you’d think to ever roll off his lips.

“I love you, darlin’. Nothing is ever gonna change that.” With that, he kissed your forehead and you were off to sleep. Ready to take on whatever came the next day because you knew no matter what you’d have Joel and you’d have that sweet girl sleeping downstairs on the couch. Everything was falling into place.

And that's it! Remember to leave feedback folks! Us authors wanna hear what y'all have to say!! Also, likes are nice and always appreciated but reblogs are how others are able to see our stories!

As always, thanks for readin' if you made it this far! :-)

#Joel Miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller ruin my life challenge!#tlou fanfiction #tlou one shot

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notdavidfincher · 1 year

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- I'm sorry. - For what? - Gettin' older faster than you. - I like you older. Older means we're still here. What? - I was never afraid before you showed up.

The Last of Us | Long, Long Time

#tlouhboedit #tlouedit #tvedit #the last of us #tlou #murray bartlett #nick offerman #myedits #this episode ruined me lmao

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ruby1pt0 · 1 year

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It's about Joel telling Henry "it's easier for kids because they don't have anyone depending on them." And then in the next scene Ellie is taking on responsibility for Sam, thinking she can take care of him, that she can save him, he's depending on her to stay up with him because he's scared. And then when they burry the bodies, she tells him she's sorry for failing

#this show is already ruining me #ive already cried three times today #the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou spoilers #1x05

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sleepytownzzz · 6 months

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aftermath.

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k8fics · 1 year

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Ruined Legacy

Do What You Want To Do, Step On Me

summary: Based off “Step On Me” by The Cardigans; Reader tries to gain Joel’s trust the only way she knows how — Episode Two of ‘Ruined Legacy’

rating: R — angst to slight fluff, apocalyptic world, cursing, mentions of murder/death, mean joel, reader’s just trying her best

Oh, I think you’re standing on my left foot

It’s hurting but that’s okay

‘Cause I’m in your way

Walking through the house I’d been stuck in for years with two strangers was not what I had in mind when I thought about leaving. Joel, a man with the seemingly everlasting scowl, still had his gun pointed at me. He stared me down as we walked through the house.

The girl he was with, Ellie, walked beside me, gawking at the amount of junk that had been organized neatly around the halls’ shelves. “So, how long have you lived here?” She asked, looking at me and then at Joel, who was giving her a look of warning.

“Like 10 years or something. I don’t know, I stopped counting a while ago.” I responded, and she only hummed as a response.

It was silent as we walked outside. I looked around, basically gawking the same way Ellie had moments before. Sure, Tim would take me outside sometimes, but to be outside without the paranoia of being watched — even if I was being stared down on with a gun pointed at my back — it was fucking amazing.

I was nudged by the tip of his gun to keep walking, leading towards another man waiting with two horses. The man in front of me looked strikingly similar to the man behind me. Maybe they were all related.

Before I could ask, I was interrupted by Joel speaking up. “Found who killed the guy, she said it was self-defense or somethin’. You watch her while we look inside the house.” He said, pushing me forward and causing me to stumble.

As Joel and Ellie were walking back to the house, I called for them. Stepping towards them, only for Joel to point his gun at me again. I put my hands up to cause no harm, “I can help you.” I said, he only scoffed. “I-I mean, I organized everything. I know where everything is. I swear.”

He was about to walk inside before Ellie said his name, he stopped and sighed. “Come on then.” Waving his hand to signal me in.

You’ll break the foot you’re standing on

I’ll walk with the other one

He still had the gun pointed at me as I walked through the house. I was instructed by Joel to only speak when describing what was in each space. I obliged.

“First aid kits,” I said besides the chest in one of the bedrooms. Ellie was the one collecting the supplies while Joel focused on me and the trigger on his gun.

I looked around the room in discomfort, looking at Ellie as she grabbed the last bit of supplies. “So-“ Before I could finish, Joel shushed me.

“What did I say? No talking.” He said, before grabbing my forearm and pulling me towards the door. Ellie followed behind him. He pushed me up against the wall, my chest smooshed against the wall and his gun pointed at my back once again. “Is that everything in here?” I could only nod, “Good, let’s go.” He said, pulling me down the stairs and to the front door.

Once we got back to the man with the horses, Joel called out for him, “Tommy, let’s head back. We got everything.” He said.

Tommy looked at him and then at me, and then at him once more. “Well, hold on now. I still don’t know what’s going on.” He said, his face looking more confused every second.

This time at least Joel wanted me to respond, I took a shaky breath before responding with my name. “The man over there,” I pointed at the rotting body in front of the house. “His name is Tim, I’ve been trapped in there for more than 10 years. He killed my parents. He was going to kill me,” I grabbed at my shirt, pulling it down. “Look, he did this before I killed him.”

Tommy looked more than convinced, “God Joel, you made it seem like she was a mass murderer.” He said looking directly at the man who still had the goddamn gun pointed at me.

Joel gave me a pointed look, “I don’t trust her.”

Ellie only laughed, “Don’t worry, he was the same way towards me when we first met.” She reassured me, and to be honest, it worked.

Do what you want to do, do what you want to

Be what you want to, be what you want to

Go on and step on me

Once we the gates to Tommy’s place of residency, Jackson, I was beyond amazed. Who knew civilization could be restored after an apocalypse? I was sure that everyone died inside after a couple of years.

Ellie looked as amazed as me, maybe even more. Joel looked the same as he did back at the house. It seemed he always did, never really seems to have another emotion except for anger.

As Tommy gave us a tour, I could still feel the eyes of Joel on me. He would even tug Ellie towards him if she got too close to you as if you were infected.

When Tommy gave us the bad news that there was only one house open in the town at the moment and that I may have to share with them, I could tell Joel was angry. Ellie seemed happy to finally have another person besides Joel around, “Especially a girl,” she said.

Joel decided to speak up about his disapproval, “No. I’m not sharing a house with her.” That was all he said.

Before Ellie could speak up in my defense, I spoke up. “Oh! Yeah, that’s fine, I understand. I wouldn’t want to be in the house of a stranger too.” And trust me, I do understand that feeling. Not even letting Ellie say her opinions on the matter before you walked back to the front of the town.

You’re free to have everything you can see

All that you want from me

Free to be all that you want to be

Do what you want with me

Tommy and I talked about what happened for what felt like an eternity. It was first him reassuring you that there were no hard feelings, “Joel is just closed off.” He said. I told him I understand, that I’m the same, in a way.

We talked about his wife Maria, and what they had gone through before and after finding each other. I tried opening up about my past, and I did, but it’s so hard remembering those memories, those moments.

Tommy stared down at the grass before asking, “How old were you when they died?”

I sighed, “22.” I laughed, “It’s funny. I used to dream of leaving my parents’ grasp when I was younger. But once you go through something like this with them, you never want to leave their side. At least I got them for a few years. Before it, all went to shit.” I said.

Tommy looked at me sympathetically, “You’ve been through a lot, and I’m sorry my ass of a brother can’t see that.” He said apologetically.

I waved him off, “Don’t apologize. I can tell he’s been through a lot.” Tommy’s head perked up at my statement, looking rather confused. “He has sad eyes. I don’t blame him for being the way he is, I’d rather be like that than like this.” I confess.

“What’s the difference between you and him?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m way too trusting. Shit, I’d probably give him my shoes if he wanted them.” I said before walking off as Tommy chuckled, shaking his head.

Oh, I think you’re spinning inside my head

I think of you all the day

‘Cause you’re in my way

Ever since our last interaction, I can’t stop thinking about Joel. I have seen him around town all the time, from when I went to the tavern Tommy mentioned to walking outside the building I was certainly residing.

I took up drawing, something I hadn’t done in a long time. It helped me ease my mind, most importantly; made me stop thinking about my parents which then leads me to think about Tim.

Sometimes I drew Joel. Though I can never seem to draw his face correctly, there’s always something missing. Maybe it was the furrowed eyebrows or the scowl that remained on his face, but nothing seemed to work.

I started staring at him more, not on purpose — okay, maybe on purpose — I studied his face, observing his mannerisms, focusing on him only. God, this is so unhealthy. I feel like a stalker.

Oh, I think you’re holding the heart of mine

Squeeze it apart, that’s fine

I think he started noticing after the first week of me admiring and observing him. I hadn’t seen him in a while but I truly felt like I had mastered his face.

As I sat in the tavern with my sketchbook and water on the table in front of me, I hadn’t noticed him beside me until he snatched the book right out of my hands. I jumped up immediately, almost falling over in shock but catching myself at the last second.

He flipped through it as I protested and grabbed at my possession, but he stopped me by grabbing me with one hand. He stopped at a certain page and dropped it towards me. “What the fuck is this? Are you fucking spying on me now?” He said lowly, obviously trying not to put more attention on the situation in front of me.

“I- No. I’m sorry, I just saw you around and wanted to-“ He interrupted me before I could excuse my actions.

He gripped me harder, “Stay the fuck away from me. Just because Tommy and Ellie trust you doesn’t mean I do.” He said before pushing himself off of me and ripping out the page with the drawing of him.

He stared at me as he crumpled the paper up and throwing into the trash. I could only stare as he walked out the door of the tavern leaving me with tears in my eyes.

Do what you want to do, do what you want to

Be what you want to, be what you want to

Go on and step on me

I did as he asked me to, he is the boss after all. I didn’t leave the building until I was forced out by Ellie, who had grown on me since we both had a niche for drawing, only for me to be back in the building for another day after our nice walk around the town.

I burned the sketchbook after the events that night, it’s a distraction anyway. I focused more of my time on finding a new home after realizing that maybe I wasn’t cut out for human interactions. This is understandable considering I was stuck in a house with only a deranged psychopath with me.

Tommy somehow found out about the situation between me and Joel, he didn’t tell me who told him. But I guess Joel wasn’t as quiet as we both thought he was.

You’re free to have everything you can see

All that you want from me

[2nd Person POV]

Joel felt bad. Of course, he did, how could he not? Seeing you standing there as he held you, shaking, trying not to cry as he told you off. It was a beautiful drawing, he’ll give you that. But he still doesn’t want some girl that just freshly killed someone to be stalking him.

That’s why he confessed to Tommy about the events that night, how you looking at him made him nervous, how he wanted to trust you but couldn’t. What he didn’t know is that Tommy was going to try to talk to you about it.

He wasn’t going to say sorry, “I only told her the truth,” This is what he told Ellie when she asked him what he did to you. Both Tommy and her told him to make things right, to apologize, to give her a chance. And he wants to, he really does. But he doesn’t want to care about anyone else. He would’ve done anything for Sarah and she died. He cared for Tommy and he left him. He cares for Ellie but she’s giving him grey hair and wrinkles.

There are a lot of reasons for him to not let you in, for him not to care for you. But there wasn’t a reason for him to be concerned if you hate him. “If you care about her feelings, then you care about her,” Were the wise words Ellie brought to him.

“Just try it out, please!” Ellie groaned, “I can’t stand seeing you mope around, and I want Y/N to hang out with me again without you making it awkward.”

Joel sighed, “Fine, I’ll do my best.” Slightly smiling at her celebration dance.

Do what you want to do, do what you want to

Be what you want to, be what you want to

Go on and step on me

Joel knocked on your door in his cleanest clothes — picked out by Ellie — with flowers in hand — also picked out by Ellie. He heard you groan before yanking the door open just to push it closed when you met his eyes.

He stuck his foot between the door and the frame. “Wait. Just give me a chance okay?” He pled.

You looked at him up and down before crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe, “I thought you didn’t want to see me again?” You mocked.

He sighed, “I know and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that considering…” He trailed off and looked down.

“Considering that I just killed the only person I have known for the past 10 years?” You finished for him, staring him down.

Joel sighed once more, “Yeah. Considering that. Look, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Tommy and Ellie have been up my ass about this all week.”

You finally softened and laughed, “They’ve been up my ass about it too!”

He gave you a small smile, “So how can I make it up to you?” He questioned

You thought for a second before coming up with an answer, smiling brightly when you do have an idea. “Be my model! Let me draw you correctly!” You responded.

“Yes ma’am, whatever you want.” He said, walking into your humble abode when you invited him.

You’re free to have everything you can see

All that you want from me

“What do you think, hot pink or lavender for your shirt?” You asked.

Joel groaned, “I think I’ve been here for too long.” He complained.

“Oh, boo-hoo. You said ‘Whatever I want,’” You said in an exaggeration of his accent. “And lavender is what I want.” You finished, smiling at him.

“Hey, as long as Ellie’s off my ass, you can do anything you want from me.” He replied.

You only laughed as a response, a comfortable silence resting over you two as you color in his shirt, finally finishing the final details. You flipped the page towards him, “Ta-da!” You gleamed.

Joel inspected it thoroughly, “Wow. You almost made me look as handsome as I do now.” He said jokingly.

You laughed, “I personally think this is the best you out there.” You said pointing towards the drawing.

He gasped in fake hurt, “Don’t make me throw away this one too.”

“Too soon.”

“You’re right, sorry.”

You’re free to be all that you want to be

Do what you want with me

Joel and Ellie were arguing about leaving when you walked into the house, ready to have your weekly discussion about what books you two were reading currently. You weren’t exactly sure why they looked so distressed when you walked through the door already speaking to Ellie about the book she had lent to you a week prior.

You stopped describing your shock from the latest chapter when you saw their faces. You’ve started to see a lot more faces from Joel once you both became friendly. “What’s up, guys? Why are both of you so gloomy on this fine afternoon.” You joked, hoping for a laugh but got nothing of the sort.

Ellie got up, stepping towards you. “Joel wants to-“ She was cut off by the man whose name she just mentioned.

“Ellie.” He warned her, staring at your concerned and confused eyes.

“No, fuck this! Joel wants to leave! He wants to leave without you.” She said, glaring at him before looking back at you.”

You looked even more confused and concerned. “What? But I thought we were good. I thought you trusted me now, Joel?” You questioned, looking more and more hurt.

He sighed, resting his head in his hands. “I do, you know I do. But it’s not safe, and you’re not ready to be out there and we all know that.” His reasonings made your eye twitch.

You scoffed, “That’s such bullshit. We all know I can handle myself! And I can keep Ellie safe as much as you can.” You argued, and Ellie nodded her head beside you. “Please. You guys are all I have here.” You said sadly.

Joel glared at you both, “You’re both pains in my ass you know that? I’m trying to keep you guys out of trouble.” He reasoned.

“Come on, Joel. Please, please, pl-“ Ellie’s begging was smothered by Joel’s booming voice.

“Fine! Whatever you want.” He said, “At least I’ll have someone I can trust with a gun.” He said giving a pointed look at Ellie.

Go on and step on me

[Back to 1st Person POV]

As Ellie and I got ready for our trip west, Joel walked over to me with his hands in his pockets. “Before we start, I have a few ground rules; I’m always right, follow my lead, and don’t get in my way. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” I said, saluting him like a soldier. “You’re the boss.”

He nodded, “Yes, I am.” Walking over to Ellie to help her with packing the rest of the supplies.

‘I never noticed how good he looks when he’s bossy. Or how good his ass looks in those jeans.’ I thought before Joel called me over to help me onto the brown horse.

bad ending i know i’m sorry i’m a horrible person and writer

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