Tumgik
#seeking that reassurance that he matters and that the gifts are real and that he's real
heretherebedork · 2 years
Text
Oh, the creepy businessman. My skin is crawling. Ew ew ew ew poor, poor Pan. The way he smiles and performs for him because this is how he makes money and he knows it but he's so desperately uncomfortable and miserable and the expectation that he's for sale just as much as his skill is... ugh, the reality of that for so many actors is palpable. The way he reacts to being touched by him, the way he keeps giving this wide, toothy smile to every touch and looking away and just... no wonder he uses so much sanitizer and freezes and looks so pained. Ugh. This boy has all my love, the desperate way he washes himself off in the tub and just... ugh. Messy and realistic and full of pain, full of the agony of being someone who can't escape the touches he doesn't want and can't truly call his body his own except in secret moments, rare moments, that he can only sneak around to get.
33 notes · View notes
starjedi86 · 1 month
Text
Keep you safe
Tumblr media
Summary: Hunter comforts you after a nightmare.
Pairing: Hunter x female reader
Prompt: “Of course I'd keep you safe."
Warnings: Angst but fluff at the end.
Word Count: 1288
Authors Note: Thank you @ghostofskywalker for organizing this exchange!
This is my gift for @frostycatblr-fandom-files for the @cloneficgiftexchange . I hope you enjoy it!
Tumblr media
The Marauder cruised through the vast expanse of space, its hull creaking softly as it traveled through hyperspace. Inside, the hum of the engines provided a comforting backdrop to the stillness of the night. All the members of the Bad Batch were fast asleep, having completed one of Cid's missions while simultaneously trying to go unnoticed and hide from the empire.
You lay curled up on the small pillow in your bunk, seeking deep rest after a day filled with both emotion and danger. Hunter, your faithful love and protector, lay beside you, his presence always a source of comfort in the darkness. Despite the dangers that lurked beyond the Marauder's walls, within its confines, you found solace in each other's arms during moments of rest like this one.
As sleep finally enveloped you, you were thrust into a world of darkness and despair: a nightmare born from the depths of your subconscious. You found yourself in a darkened place, escaping from an unseen adversary.
Despite your efforts to run as swiftly as possible, their pursuit grew ever closer, their voices gradually becoming discernible: the Empire had finally tracked you down. Glancing back, you saw your loyal companions running alongside you, particularly Hunter, urging you to hasten your pace. But no matter how swiftly you attempted to move, escape remained elusive.
Suddenly, a misstep sent you tumbling to the ground, vulnerable to the approaching troopers. Desperately, you struggled to break free, only to witness Hunter's capture alongside you, surrounded by overwhelming numbers.
Then, in a cruel twist of fate, the sound of gunfire shattered the night, and you watched in horror as the love of your life fell, grievously wounded and seemingly lifeless. Each image carved itself into your mind with vivid clarity, intensifying the fear that gripped your soul.
Suddenly, you felt someone shaking you urgently and desperately, the images of the nightmare becoming increasingly blurry. With a gasp, you were ripped from the depths of sleep, your heart racing in your chest. Blinking away the remnants of the nightmare, you found yourself staring into Hunter's concerned eyes. His hand kept shaking your arm, trying to rouse you from the terrible dream that had gripped you.
You knew that he had likely heard your murmurs and cries while you slept. After all, his sleep was never deep, and his heightened senses often made him aware of your distress before you were fully awake.
"Cyare, are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft with concern.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you met his gaze. In that moment you were still reeling from the horrors of the very real nightmare you had experienced.
"Come here," he said, still looking at you with concern but also gently attempting to comfort you.
You automatically moved towards him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and burying your face in his chest as you cried, seeking solace from the terrors that haunted your mind. Hunter's arms enveloped you, holding you close as he whispered soothing words.
“It was just a dream,” he murmured, his voice always a constant source of comfort that always helped calm you whenever your thoughts spiraled into chaos. "You're safe now, I promise."
Hunter continued to hold you close, his arms a steady anchor amidst the storm of emotions raging within you. You sobbed quietly against his chest, the remnants of the nightmare still lingering in your thoughts.
Gradually, as his reassuring words and comforting presence surrounded you, the tide of fear began to subside, replaced by a sense of security in his embrace.
Minutes passed in silence, broken only by the occasional sniffle as you regained control of your emotions and thoughts. Finally, Hunter gently pulled away from you, his hands cupping your face as he met your gaze with unwavering determination.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress or fear.
You shook your head slightly, unable to find the right words to articulate the horrors that had plagued your dreams. Instead, you offered only a vague description, omitting the details; the mere mention of the Empire was enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Hunter listened silently, his expression a mask of worry as he absorbed each word. When you finally fell silent, he squeezed your hand reassuringly and gently caressed your cheek with the other, his voice firm and resolute.
"I won't let anything happen to you," he swore, his voice filled with determination. "You're incredibly important to me, and I'll ensure they never lay a hand on you, I promise."
His unwavering conviction filled you with a sense of reassurance, dispelling the lingering doubts that had clouded your mind. Whenever you were close to him, you felt loved and protected. However, despite his assurances, a lingering fear still gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.
"But what if they find us?" you whispered, fear resurfacing with renewed intensity, tears welling up in your eyes once more. "And if they capture us, or worse..."
Hunter's gaze softened as he wiped away the tears streaming down your cheeks with his thumb. "I won't let that happen, trust me, cyare," he repeated, his voice brimming with determination.
Meeting his gaze, you searched his eyes for any hint of uncertainty. "If anything happened, you’d always protect me, right?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, a tremor of fear still evident in your tone.
"Of course I'd keep you safe," Hunter replied without hesitation, his words a comforting reassurance in the face of uncertainty.
Feeling a rush of gratitude and love for the man who had become your rock in this turbulent galaxy, you threw your arms around him once more, holding him close as if to anchor yourself in his unwavering strength.
"I love you," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the hum of the ship's engines.
Hunter's embrace tightened around you, his voice a soft murmur against your ear. "I love you too, cyare,” he whispered, his words a tender declaration of his affection.
After a few moments, Hunter gently broke the embrace, his gaze meeting yours with concern. "Feeling any better?" he asked softly.
You nodded, offering him a small smile. "Yes, I'm better now," you replied, your voice still laced with traces of emotion.
Returning your smile, Hunter reassured you once more. "I'll always be here to protect you, cyare,” he promised, his words filled with firm resolve. “I'll never let anyone hurt you. Over my dead body"
Feeling a sense of warmth and gratitude wash over you, you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He returned the kiss, holding you close in his arms as if to shield you from the galaxy's troubles.
Seconds later, as the kiss broke, you looked up at him, gratitude shining in your eyes. "Thank you, love, for always being there for me," you said softly.
Hunter's expression softened, his love for you evident in every glance he gave you. "There's nothing to thank me for," he replied gently. "I do it because I love you."
A surge of affection flooded your heart at his words. "I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity.
With that, you rested your head against Hunter's chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek. He tenderly ran his fingers through your hair, a gesture of comfort and reassurance in the quiet refuge of the Marauder.
As you lay there, enveloped in the warmth of his embrace, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as you had Hunter by your side, you would always find peace, protection and solace in his love.
126 notes · View notes
solomons-poison · 4 months
Text
I keep thinking of Silvio with his first kid, I feel like he'd end up with either all boys or at least majority boys. But generally thinking how soft he becomes for multiple reasons.
His family life was shit, one parent that manipulated him and the other that openly hated him. No luck with his siblings either, for multiple reasons. He grew up expecting people to only ever want something, specifically money, from him, and it skewed his view on relationships and family so much.
But now, now he has you.
Someone who was so ridiculously honest and and kind-hearted and sassy and stubborn that he had no choice but to fall in love with you. Someone that didn't just want him for his fortune or for special favors, but saw through his difficult sides and defensive nature and need to solve all things with money and accepted him anyway (even if it involved some fighting and arguments along the way).
He never could have predicted having a loving family, someone that treats him like an actual human being and not just a get-rich-quick scheme personified, being willing to touch someone with vulnerability and opening his heart to them. Honestly, part of him expected his work might kill him one day; before you, it probably would have been a blessing to die on the seas with his crew, away from the troubles of his kingdom and the hatred of his family. That, or maybe his thirst would finally consume him, the expensive wines he invested in finally taking him in the end.
It was a selfish thought, because he cared for his kingdom and worked hard to make it strong, that was his responsibility as prince. But sometimes, if he let himself think too long on it, it became too much for him. As much as he spouted that money was all that mattered, his heart still felt differently, and it was killing him inside. But meeting you saved him, in more ways than one.
Bringing you home to Benitoite, introducing you to the nation and the king and queen, getting married, it was all so unreal and like a fantasy. Sometimes Silvio was convinced he was just dreaming a drunken dream, and he'd have to slap himself or pinch himself to make sure it was reality. You did your best to assure him you really were there with him, your love and your warmth was real, but you couldn't blame him for how he felt knowing just a fraction of what he'd been through.
That dream-like feeling continued even as you eventually told him you were expecting, as he watched over the months as your belly grew and felt the small kicks of life. Of course he was happy, but he was terrified, too. Terrified that the only good thing in his life would be ripped away, like so much else, that someone or something would take the last bit of light from him and he'd go back to the half-alive existence he had before. He focused his anxieties into protecting you, staying by your side and holding you close. But sometimes the only things keeping him sane were your touches and your reassurances, reminding him you were always with him, that not even the strongest forces of nature could take you away from him. And he'd melt into your kiss, engraving the feel of your lips and your warmth into his heart so he'd never forget.
Things only stopped feeling like a dream when, after hours of labor and frantic pacing, he was finally holding his son, the newest prince of Benitoite and newest addition to the royal family. Just holding that wrapped, wriggling bundle in his arms, sharp wails of tiny lungs piercing his eardrums, finally cinched it all together. He wasn't adrift anymore, he wasn't ready to die with his boat or from excess drink. He had you, your unwavering love and resilience and wit, and this new life that you'd gifted him, that you'd made together. And he'd be damned if anything was going to take that away from him.
Having a family is foreign to him, a loving partner and a child that seeks him out (he will always think of the first time he heard "da da" and thought his heart would explode). Sometimes many times he worries that he'll do something to fuck it up, that he might act like his father or that you'll come to your senses and leave him for someone better. It takes a lot for him to unlearn these feelings, to work past these anxieties, because he wants to be the best he can be for you and his growing family. But he gets there, trusting in you and in himself that you two have got this, that it'll take more than an army to separate you from the people he cares about.
On occasion, he still thinks about if this is an elaborate dream, although the thought is more one in passing than a legitimate worry these days. But if this is a dream, it's one he never wants to wake up from.
87 notes · View notes
hisokakissmeplz · 1 year
Text
💋KISSES💋
Adulttrio
HISOKA
-He LOVES kisses like he loves them so much it's the first thing he does when he sees you.
-After his fights, during missions, when you guys wake up, when you guys fall asleep, when you are just watching TV. It doesn't matter where or when he just loves having his mouth pressed against yours.
-His kisses would be otherworldly too like he would just come up behind you and surprise you with the most passionate and loving kiss ever and leave you there breathless.
-He would absolutely dip you and kiss you so hard you see stars
-He so goes in for the super romantic stuff if you're his partner, like he is so glad to finally have someone who truly enjoys accompanying him that he just wants to spoil you and leave kisses all across you.
-I don't think he really has a favorite place to kiss you just anywhere he can get his lips is fine.
-If he had to pick a favorite it would probably be your lips, neck or shoulders. Something about the delicate skin against his mouth makes him feel electric.
-I think he would love small little chaste kisses on his mouth or cheek like when you walk past him on a mission and peck his lips or him kissing the side of your face if he has to squeeze by you.
-Although his favorite type of kiss is the long awaited make out session you both had been craving. The ones where your lips just kind of find each other and won't let go and he wraps his arms around you pulling you close and slipping in his tongue. Of course he'd pull away to let you breathe and start sucking and biting on your neck and jaw.
-omg just imagine
-Also PDA like serious PDA like he would try to make out with you in the middle of a grocery store if you'd let him.
ILLUMI
-Kind of the opposite about of Hisoka PDA, like I don't think he would like it to much.
-Unless it's like holding your hand or maybe like walking super close but he's not super comfortable about kissing in public.
-While that's said, I think he would love kiss in privacy like maybe he wouldn't even tell you how much he loves it but he does. Your kisses reassure him if your love and that you're with him.
-He loves when he's working on something and you come over and peck his lips real quick, he loves when you kiss him after waking up in the morning, he loves when you kiss him after he gives you the gift he picked out (It's the thing you saw while you guys were shopping that your eyes barley grazed but you wanted it so bad and he could tell) he absolutely adores your kisses.
-As for his favorite spot to kiss you I'd have to say your back and shoulders or maybe your nose.
-loves kissing your shoulders and back while he massages your back after a mission. He also loves the cute way you look at him almost in shock when he grabs your face gently and kisses your nose.
-He doesn't have much practice kissing people if any and Hisoka definitely makes fun of him for it but might help and give him advice on how to be more passionate or loving when you kiss somebody.
-Probably not super big on making out because he doesn't know how.
-Unless you taught him or he asked Hisoka the he would be all for it and always seek it for reassurance if you guys were having sex or something
-Either way you both love kisses in private and Illumi likes to feel comfortable enough to let loose a little.
CHROLLO
-A lot like Hisoka surprisingly.
-He's extremely passionate when he kisses you.
-Will absolutely cover your faces with his book if you kiss him in public although he loves little PDA.
-His favorite spot to kiss you? Your hands.
-Idk he would just love peppering your hands with light kisses.
-He's a gentleman after all and wants you to know you're his lady.
-If he felt like someone was looking at you to closely or for too long he would grab you by your hands and kiss you deeply. He would kiss you untill whoever had looked away out of embarrassment or jealousy or both. Or alternatively, he would kiss you and stare at them the entire time just glaring(That includes anyone in the troupe too)
-Would kiss you goodnight and have trouble sleeping if he forgot or something. His kisses would really be all that sexual or anything mostly just really loving kisses.
-Now when you guys were making out or something he would be super soft and gentle with you and made sure you could pull away of you needed to breath.
-Would whine and whimper when you guys kiss.
145 notes · View notes
connorqtie · 2 years
Text
quite self indulgent harbor x reader hcs!
gender neutral and no specific body type or race
all fluff and sfw, may or may not make a suggestive one soon? Idk
if corrections are needed, send me an ask about the correction!
physical affection and stuff:
- very physically affectionate but will ofc give you your own space and such if you need.
- loves even the lightest or smallest physical gestures, like holding hands, a hand on your shoulder, or small head pats even!
- he will pick you up and shower you with affection no matter how big or small you are, this man will stop at nothing when giving you affection.
- if you want and allow it, he will hold you while you rant/vent to him, he wants to provide some form of touch to show you he’s there.
different kinds of affection or showing care to you:
- he’s the kind of guy to leave little notes for you when he has to leave for something, he will write things like “i love you, never forget that. :)” or “love you, my dear riptide”.
- he’s also the kind to tell you the reasons why he loves you everyday, and will try to find more reasons everyday.
- he likes spending a lot of time with you, even just sitting in a room together, in comforting silence, nothing happening. he likes these small moments where you both do nothing together.
- likes giving small, tiny gifts too! your favorite candy, a tiny pendant he thought he should give to you, or some pretty seaglass he picked up from walking along a beach!
comforting you & seeking comfort from you:
- he will do anything for you when you’re in need of some form of comfort. snacks? you got it. hugs? yes of course. a pillow fort? absolutely. he will do these and more for you if needed.
- he’ll even softly sing some songs to calm you down and comfort you, his singing voice is quite soothing.
- he’ll also reassure you that whatever your problem may be, he’s always there to help you and support you no matter what.
- and of course, there are times when he needs that same amount of comfort.
- he gets horrible reminders about how he was betrayed by his old comrades and it does take quite a toll on him because he used to trust them, perhaps even used to see them as a second family.
- he will ask you if you could comfort him and of course you oblige because this man deserves the world.
- and of course you treat him well just as much if not more than how he does to you, getting him comfy blankets and pillows, snacks, every kind of affection in the book, and telling him that you’re there for him, like how he’s there for you.
dates and night outs!
- for him he’ll do anything you’d like but he loves beach dates and walks around markets, malls, and other places with a lot of vendors selling cool things in their stalls.
- he could spend all that time with you and if he spots something he thinks you’ll like, it’s placed in a little pouch to give to you after the date, alongside some flowers and other trinkets.
- if you say fancy date, he will take you to a fancy date. he also likes seeing you in really nice formal wear. (lets be real here he thinks your hot/cute no matter what you wear)
- he wants to make sure you both have a great time on the date. he also doesn’t mind of you’re the one taking him out.
ty for reading! feel free to send me some harbor requests, or anything rlly lol
66 notes · View notes
rivetgoth · 7 months
Text
Genuinely cannot get over Lead Into Gold’s The Eternal Present. I’ve probably listened to it all the way through like more than a dozen times in the last month. It’s probably my album of the year. Genuinely so impressed by it not just technically, sonically, and lyrically but how it’s structured and presented thematically. Paul Barker said in an interview the name is kind of a pun and it has me thinking a lot about the different meanings of “present,” an eternal present being both the ever-present moment, the way the past and future don’t actually exist, now is the only thing that’s real etc, but also the idea of a gift that just keeps giving, you know? Like forever carrying with you what you’ve received from others. Which in and of itself is kind of an interesting contradiction, thinking about influence from the past versus the current moment being all that matters or all there is.
I’m particularly interested in the album being seemingly organized backwards (?) at points, telling a story of a failed relationship, and the aggression and anger at the opening of the album—“This is how crime begins” as the opening line in the opening title, the song ending in the death knell sounding. Followed immediately by describing a failing relationship where everything is completely falling apart in “The Final Blows”—“outside the world is burning now, inside your world is burning down”—but he’s trying to hold it together—“Even those are not the final blows.” The album mellows gradually as we get these songs that are more introspective, and finally we end on the last two tracks, where one describes this really intense, passionate, successful relationship that feels like it’ll just keep getting bigger and more intense and last forever (“who’s to say the fame can’t get much brighter as we balance on the stage, as though we watch the infinite”) and he specifically makes allusions to fire again, even in the name being “A Thousand Licks,” but this time he says “Who’s to say the flames can’t get much brighter as we stare into the blaze,” it feels like it posits itself as squarely MOMENTS before “The Final Blows.” It’s that same relationship and that same intensity and that flame is building but he’s already shared that the fire burned too bright and everything was charred to ash… He even says “Before we immolate” after the first chorus…
AND THEN he ends on “Tell Me Again,” where the final lyrics are “Tell me again, could it ever fail? Would it ever fail? Is it possible?” And then the album fades to 15 seconds of uninterrupted silence. I like legit get chills over that ending lmao 😭 I love the seeking reassurance from an unnamed other. And like. I think the use of the word “again” there (and “before” in the song prior) feels so pointed in suggesting this cyclical nature of the story and maybe even (as the album title suggests) time itself. Like the album creates almost a time loop in its structure. Or like, in the goofiest of comparisons it almost feels like the classic “This is me; you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation” trope. Or, a classier comparison, Gaspar Noe’s Irreversible. I’m not even sure if we’re actually supposed to interpret the story as this truly being the before and after of the same relationship or thinking more about repeating cycles (IMO it’s both), but either way a clear before and after—or, after and before, actually—is posited. And I think it makes the “Could it ever fail?” so poignant to have the album open with “This is how crime begins” and all the anger and disillusionment that comes with the death (or even, murder?) of something you really believed in and potentially even believed could last forever. And this cycle repeating over and over and over. “This glamour always seems eternal.” Phew.
6 notes · View notes
axelsenmclaughlin9 · 2 years
Text
Qualities Of A Good Tarot Reader
Tarot card reading has become one of the very sought after ways of predicting one's life events - past, present, and future. In this unique method, you will find there's pair of tarot cards, from which you draw several cards while considering a matter that you simply seek a response. An expert Tarot Card reader can interpret your circumstances from your drawn card(s) and provide predictions as answers for your question. With technological advancements, Tarot Card reading has additionally been successful online. However, selecting Tarot deck and professional Tarot Card reader on the internet is a good challenge. Here are a number of from the qualities which you should try to find while picking a Tarot Card reader: A Good Listener When you want to a tarot card reader, you'll need not only predictions. You need to possess a fantastic understanding with all the reader and want their support & reassurance. A good tarot reader will tune in to you patiently and browse involving the lines to interpret they you've got drawn. When a tarot audience capable of establish a real connection with you, rest is in the cards that you can know your answers. One Who Practices & Hones Regularly A professional tarot card reader hones and practices his skill constantly to possess a good grip over his/her skills. He/she will draw and browse their cards twice daily and gaze after a tarot journal. They would also read related materials about tarot card reading to keep current. The one with regular and ideal practice can provide what you'll need. Improves & Trusts Their Intuitions Intuition is a good gift that not all tarot card readers can have. A professional and expert tarot card reader will trust his/her intuition which is clear in conveying their message on the seeker. Once they trust their intuitions, exactly the same trust and confidence will build within the hearts of these customers that shall leave them satisfied using the interpretations. Compassionate & Objective A good tarot reader will be gentle, compassionate, and objective in interpreting the drawn cards. He/she considers guiding you in the proper path and explaining both positives and downsides of the cards you draw having an empathetic and gentle manner. A professional tarot card reader will be careful together with his words in explaining his intuitions and predictions. Does Not Use Intimidating Words Communicating the predictions is far more important than providing them with right in the cards. A good tarot card reader understands his/her client well and avoids using unnecessary words or jargons which may upset the minds of the customers. Make sure he/she uses simple, accurate, and positive words in explaining they to you personally. An Impeccable Counselor A professional tarot card reader will treat all his/her clients equally. They might be from different backgrounds; however, an excellent tarot card reader will probably be just and fair in giving the interpretations. More than anything, he/she will be a great counselor who are able to read your head and deliver the message through the cards. Sometimes, readings could be adverse. In such cases, a great tarot reader will choose the best and kind words to convey the same. In such scenarios, a sense humor would be really nice in easing the tough situation. Knows Their Limit A good tarot card reader are fully aware of his/her limit in interpreting the future with the cards. Anything can alter inside the future with divine intervention. Caring & Helpful Above all, a fantastic tarot card reader will have an obvious aim of helping those who work in need. He/she is open, yet compassionate in interpreting them. He/she is going to be sincere in approach and trustworthy, which form the foundation of a proper outcomes of you and the tarot card reader.
0 notes
morkleemelon · 3 years
Text
nct ideal types 2021 :: 127
dream version | the confirmed facts are all from various interviews or fan questions but ‘my thoughts’ may well not be accurate! this is just for fun~ mark and haechan are in the dream version
moon taeil
Tumblr media
confirmed: someone cute with a short bob hairstyle
my thoughts:
taeil is a super chill, laid back guy who gets along with more outgoing members like johnny and haechan. this makes me believe he’d want a funny, outgoing partner to balance with his personality
he mentioned cute so this makes me think small or petite. definitely shorter than him.
he said once that he would love to sing to his future girlfriend all the time (she will be so lucky oh my gosh). not to mention he is very passionate about music and dropped out of a prestigious music school to join nct. so he would definitely need someone who likes and appreciates music
he said if he were a girl, he’d date yuta out of all of the 127 members. so perhaps he just thinks yuta is boyfriend material, but maybe taeil is attracted to the strong-minded, caring type
seo johnny
Tumblr media
confirmed: someone who smiles at him a lot. similar to girl’s generation’s yoona
my thoughts: 
johnny seems to get along with everyone so this is a bit tricky to try to determine. he confirmed he likes yoona so going off of that, she’s obviously gorgeous and has a beautiful smile. her personality is also elegant, but down to earth and funny
he was voted by everyone including himself as the most romantic member. he says that he hopes one day he can build christmas trees with his wife just like he used to do with his mom (I’m so soft). I think he’s looking for someone who likes sappy romance and will flirt back with him
he’s tall. and since he named yoona as his ideal type, I think he’d prefer a taller girl (but not taller than him). then again, I’m not sure if he’d care all too much 
he said he would date doyoung if he were a girl so I think that entails someone easily tease-able, neat, and proper
lee taeyong
Tumblr media
confirmed: someone who can teach him, lead him, and make up for his flaws. a girl with long hair of any race. laid back. his ideal type is the same as ten’s. someone hard-working has a tough style. 
my thoughts:
he’s highkey a weeb (don’t deny this). no matter how charismatic he is on stage, we all know he’s a big softie who likes bugs and frogs and anime. he expressed he had a really hard time coming out of his shell and he’s quite introverted. he needs someone who’s strong-minded and knows what they’re doing
I remember when the rookies just came out in like 2014 and TY was 19 (?) ish and he confirmed that he’d never dated anyone yet. nobody believed him because he was so handsome but I have a feeling he was telling the truth. it’s been several years since then so I’m not sure how things have changed, but I have a feeling he would like someone experienced.
“any race” what a king. looks-wise besides having long hair, I can envision someone with great style. perhaps dyed hair, multiple piercings, tattoos, the works. fashion is something that tae really appreciates
nakamoto yuta
Tumblr media
confirmed: a girl with short hair and is around 15 cm shorter than him (so about 160cm aka 5′3″). an empathetic, cute girl who doesn’t ‘act pretty’. someone bright and comfortable
my thoughts:
he has a lot of confirmed facts about looks which are also really specific. maybe he just knows what he wants. but I also thinks he has experience. it seems like he wants a tomboy who has a strong vibe
he likes being the ‘oppa’ and taking care of others like we see him do with winwin, mark, and jungwoo. he’d be into someone who looks up to him and who he can lead
I don’t have a reason but I think he would like someone who laughs a lot and laughs at his jokes (maybe because mark does and he loves mark)
someone who’s not embarrassed to be herself
during oshiete japan they had to pick out of 4 types of roses to gift to their ‘girlfriend’. him and haechan were the only ones who chose to give 3 roses to their ‘girlfriend’. the psychologist analyzed this and said that they’re ‘flirts who seek attention’. so that being said, I think yuta would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and reactions
kim doyoung
Tumblr media
confirmed: someone polite and who treats their elders well
my thoughts:
I mean this in all seriousness, someone the exact opposite as haechan. while we can see in rare times that he does care for him, doyoung usually cannot stand haechan and all his tricks and taunting. as his confirmed type outlines, doie is really looking for someone who takes things seriously and listens to him well
I think he often feels underappreciated - a lot of times during his mv viewing reactions, the editors show another member during his part or just cut him out and you can tell he’s really disappointed (it hurts my heart). he would really like someone who goes out of their way to make him feel appreciated. 
when nct 127 went on oshiete japan, doyoung was the only one to pick the potted rose and the psychologist there said that it means he isn’t looking to just date around, but rather to settle down and have a stable relationship. I strongly believe that doyoung is looking for someone long-term.
also, his love language is giving gifts (from my observation since he often gifts the members foods during mv shoots and gifted TY the couple ring). my best guess is that he’d want to spoil his partner a lot with gifts to show his feelings. someone who appreciates his gifts and understands that they come from his heart
he thinks ariana grande is hot so that’s the only visual thing I can think of. she’s obviously very gorgeous but she’s petite and has an amazing voice
jung jaehyun
Tumblr media
confirmed: a kind woman with long, straight hair who can communicate well with him. someone dependable, healthy, and into sports. someone usually calm but can be cute. doesn’t care if she’s older or younger. someone similar to him. someone like singer/actress IU. 
my thoughts: 
he has a lot of confirmed facts so I don’t have to make many assumptions here. someone with girl next door energy? 
he says he likes IU, so going with that, someone petite and cute. She’s not afraid to speak her mind and treats everyone with kindness.
I think J was born to be romantic (literally, born on valentines day). he said his previous ambition was to be a teen dad and his lines from make a wish english version “spoil her with loyalty” sum up my next prediction: he wants someone like a best friend who’s in it for the long run
dong sicheng
Tumblr media
confirmed: someone with long, black hair
my thoughts:
he said his favorite actress is shu qi. although I don’t know if he just likes her acting or if she actually fits his ideal type, she is a traditional chinese beauty which I think winwin appreciates
he’s really introverted and is often overwhelmed by affection (i.e. all of the nct members). the exception is jaehyun and winwin seems to be the most comfortable around him. this makes me think he wants someone calm and chic
sicheng prefers staying inside to going out. not to diagnose him at all, but I reckon he can get socially anxious around large amounts of people. he’d like a partner who doesn’t overwhelm him and understands him
he really can’t cook (he couldn’t turn on a stove to make an egg on winformation). in the end, it wouldn’t matter, but i’m thinking that if you can cook you’d certainly earn some bonus points with him. it’s like that saying ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’.
kim jungwoo
Tumblr media
confirmed: n/a
my thoughts: 
of all the members, I think jungwoo has expressed the least about his ideal type. not to make any unnecessary assumptions (but that’s all this post is really), but someone said he has strong bi energy. I can’t say anything because I’m not bi myself and I’m not him, but I can see this being a thing. take this with a grain of salt because I don’t actually have evidence
during oshiete japan, he was the only one to pick the large bouquet of roses to give to his ‘lover’. the psychologist analyzed this as him liking to pretend that he is in love and wanting to show his good side. he “can’t express his real feelings and doesn’t want to ever show his lame side to his lover”. because of this, I strongly feel that jungwoo would need someone who lifts his confidence and reassures him
the members he gets along with the most are probably yuta and mark. their personalities are quite different but based on their similarities, I think he is attracted to confidence, open-mindedness, and good work ethic.
763 notes · View notes
rayofsunas · 3 years
Text
valentine | diluc [4] finale
Tumblr media
A/n: excuse my little break, lol. I’ve been busy with homework and life tbh, but I’m back!! thanks to those of you who checked in and reassured me breaks are necessary, you really made me feel better thank you <333 andddd, this last chapter whoop whoop! I had so much fun with this, I’m kinda sad ;-; but I’m really excited to start my next mini-series hehe. I’m not sure who I’m going to do next, but I’m leaning towards scaramouche or xiao hmm. let me know what you guys think!! I hope you’re having a beautiful friday/day wherever you are! stay safe <333
Summary: the ever so stoic diluc thought he was being secretive when sending anonymous letters and gifts to you during the week of valentine’s day but turns out everyone in mondstadt knew it was him, though thankfully had tight enough lips to not spill the beans to you. kaeya is of no help, so you go seeking answers yourself.
Parings: Diluc/Fem! Reader (for my other mini-series, there will be some gn ones!)
Warnings: valentines (yes, I’m late, shoot me), fluff, swearing, OOC DILUC BECAUSE I CAN’T WRITE FOR HIM (you’ve been warned)
Word count: 4.9k (omg- I’m so proud of this chapter too, enjoy!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kaeya was the younger brother of Master Diluc. The anonymous man writing to you said he’d had a brother, you assumed younger and now that you knew which was the older of the pair, everything was pointing to the man being Master Diluc.
You couldn’t lie you were frazzled. Could it really be Master Diluc writing to you? You of all people? You weren’t special in any way, no matter how many times Victoria praised you for your intelligence and skills. You didn’t feel so smart right now though, seeing as though Master Diluc had completely slipped your mind as being the writer; you felt ignorant. 
Now that you were walking quietly behind Master Diluc, it made sense. The encrypted words, expensive and thoughtful gifts; Cecilia’s, Qingxin imported specially from Liyue, hell you were even gifted a gorgeous silver bracelet, a red jewel in the center that looked very similar to Diluc’s vision dangling by his left thigh. And although both Captain Kaeya and Master Diluc were well off in terms of Mora, it was your understanding that Diluc was the wealthiest person in Mondstadt, he could afford such commodities anytime he wished.
Should you ask him or would you just embarrass yourself? 
No, you should respect his wishes... If he was in fact the anonymous man, he’d wanted to stay that way for reasons he’d already stressed to you. The least you could do to return the favor was respect his decision and not force him to come clean... No matter how curious you were. 
By the time you were at the Knights headquarters - you have your own place, headquarters is just better to sleep it when you have early mornings - the cool night breeze had set in as well as the silver, twinkling stars. You stood awkwardly at your door, eyes frantically looking anywhere but those red hues. Master Diluc seemed to also be doing the same much to your comfort. At least he was feeling similarly to you. 
“I hope this doesn’t get you in any kind of trouble.” Master Diluc suddenly said, hand sheepishly going to scratch the back of his neck. 
You tilted your head, confused. “Hmm?” 
He blinked at you, eyes going wide for a minute; embarrassment it seemed. “Do Knights not have strict curfews anymore?” He asked. 
Ah, the curfew rule. You had been a young Knight when that was implemented, though, in recent years, it had fizzled down to nothing really. All thanks to a few rule-breakers, a few years back. Then rule had been made for Knights, Captains, everyone. Though now it mostly applied to Knights in training, obviously no one followed the rule. 
“Oh, no, the rule was changed a while back,” You said. “Young Knights in training kept ignoring the curfew and it became a hassle for the Captains to go search them during bed checks at headquarters, they pulled an invisible plug.” A look of distaste appeared on the young man's face, you frowned in response.  
“Of course,” He muttered. “Inefficiency at its best.” You watched silently as he folded his arms across his chest and looked off into the distance to his left. He seemed to be trying to control his anger and irritation, or at least keep it locked down in front of you. Though he was failing, the scowl was evidence on his handsome face. And almost as soon as the words had come out of his mouth, he’d seemed to have regretted it. He snapped his head back to look at you and rushed to apologize. 
“I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect-”
You waved a hand out in the air interrupting him. “I agree,” His face relaxed. You what? “The curfews helped us all be more responsible. There was less slacking off and rogue Knights, that’s for sure,” He watched in astonishment as you laughed it off as if he hadn’t just offended you and your fellow Knights.
“My Captain still follows the rules, to an extent. The trainees are required to live at headquarters, they can’t leave until they’re eighteen or get promoted to a higher position. Knights like me or higher, on the other hand, that rule doesn’t apply to us, unless there’s a far away commission the next morning.” You explained. Master Diluc seemed to visibly relax, you assumed he was glad to hear someone still followed the rules.
“Don’t tell my captain I said this, but he’s a real old-timer; that’s why he follows your rules.” You laughed again, a small smile formed on the redhead's face, you were surprised and caught off guard by that. 
“A good man.” He approved, you laughed again. Archons, was that music to his ears. 
“That he is.”  
Diluc enjoyed the silence settling in, that’s for sure. He only realized how late it had gotten until after he’d watched you yawn, eyes closing slightly as your body seemed to shrink with each inhale and exhale; you were tired, and no doubt had duties tomorrow. How ignorant of him to keep you up like this, even if he had more of a chance to speak with you and be in your presence. 
“I shouldn’t keep you any longer,” You heard him say, watching as he took a few steps back. “I’m sure you have a busy day tomorrow.”
That was partially true, you did have an early day tomorrow. You weren’t sure what your duties would be though, maybe paperwork, more training, a commission or two? You would check with your Captain. But jeez, why had things slipped your mind so easily today? 
“Yes... I nearly forgot.”
He chuckled, adding, “You seem to have forgotten a lot today.” You giggled tiredly. 
“I agree. I promise, I’m usually not like this,” You said. “I did have a question, but it’s quite late...”
A single eyebrow quirked up, he shifted to lean on one side, cockily almost. “So, you’ve remembered?” Shit. 
“Yes and no?” You replied, realizing, either way, you’d gotten yourself in a mildly sticky situation. 
Okay... At Dawn Winery, it had completely slipped your mind. But it seemed the fresh air and break from Victoria’s amazing story had helped you regain your memory. You remembered your question now, it was in bold, red words right in front of you. But you’d decided to not ask him, not until he came forward and revealed himself if he really was the anonymous man he would. Maybe you’d give it a week...?
“Interesting...” Diluc thought to himself, you cringed to yourself, fearful of being caught lying, he seemed to be onto you. “When you remember, will you come find me?” He teased. “Stop by for a drink one time; tea, wine, juice, anything. My mother really enjoyed your company...”
Master Diluc knew. He had to of known you were lying. He was far too intelligent to not know. 
“I- Sure.” 
-
Diluc had never thought he’d see you in his presence so soon, that’s for sure. He thought he’d only see you when he decided to confess, which he was still working on. He never thought he’d be walking you home, but you had been great company and what kind of man would he be if he let a woman walk home by herself? Even if you were a Knight. 
He was a bundle of nerves the whole way even after he arrived back home, to greet his mother was oddly still up. 
“Mother, you’re awake?” He asked, stepping into the house for the last time tonight, eyes scanning the room to see the fireplace lit and crackling, the older woman sitting on an armchair. And would you look here, his annoying brother was present as well. That caused Diluc’s face to crease in annoyance. “And you’re here. Why?” He spat, the Cavalry Captain rolled his eyes. 
“I don’t have a bedtime,” She teased, Kaeya smiling. Those two were like two peas in a pod once together, his mother was definitely the more reasonable and tolerant. “And leave your brother alone, it’s from my understanding that he helped you with that girl, Y/n.” 
Diluc rolled his eyes. Of course, Kaeya would tell their mother, but the real question was, had he told others? He definitely wouldn’t be surprised if the entirety of Mondstadt knew of his crush on you, all thanks to his annoying little brother. 
“It’s no one's business, but mine,” The wine tycoon snapped. Victoria’s face scrunched up in anger, eyes glaring daggers. “Sorry...” He apologized, moving around the couches and armchairs, to finally sit on the loveseat not occupied, his hands went to his face, elbows rested on his knees.
“So,” Kaeya started, earning a testing look from the woman across from him. A look of warning. “You walked her home, anything else happen?” Kaeya couldn’t help but smirk to himself.
“What’re you implying?” The eldest snapped. 
Kaeya shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know, did you maybe tell her, kiss her?” Victoria hissed, nearly launching herself over the arm of her chair to swat her youngest on the back of his head. He groaned in annoyance. 
“Not yet.”
“Are you going to?” The cryo user probed. 
Archons, Kaeya always had too many idiotic questions. Nosy bastard. Of course, he’d tell you, eventually.
“I’m working on it...” Kaeya chuckled to himself, Victoria just stared at the redhead with sadness. She felt bad, you were a great young woman, she saw that. Hell, she hadn’t even known you for an hour, but she already approved. She wanted this to work out for her eldest, he’d always been the one with the most burdens on his shoulders it seemed, he always picked up the entire world's troubles and carried them on strong shoulders. He deserved someone good, someone, like you. “Now, don’t you have better things to do? Like getting drunk? Go away.” He sounded like a child all over again, Victoria thought. He was unfolding right here, he was still her little boy after all. 
Kaeya frowned, seeing how bothered his brother seemed. An eye focused on Victoria who was mouthing for him to go upstairs, he decided to listen for once surprisingly. With less sass in his step, Kaeya found himself wandering towards the stairs and eventually disappearing up them.
As soon as the trouble maker was gone, Victoria shifted in her seat so she could fully face her eldest son. 
“Do you love her?” She suddenly asked, Diluc’s heart seemed to speed up significantly. “It’s alright if you’re not sure, I’ve been there many times-”
“Yes, I do.”
He watched with an embarrassed hue on his face as his mother smiled a genuine, bright smile. She was happy for him, proud, she approved. That’s all he’d wanted. He wishes his father could meet you, he’d like you, he was sure of it. 
“That’s great. I’m very happy for you,” She said proudly. “You should tell her. She’s a great woman, she’ll accept you with open arms.” She reassured though Diluc could only shake his head. 
“You cannot be so sure.” He mumbled sadly, Victoria clicked her tongue with the shake of her head, leaning forward in her seat. 
“I can,” She said, matter a factly. “She reminds me of myself when I was younger, though a little less reckless and in a much better headspace. She’s sure of herself I can tell, even though she looked quite frazzled in your presence; but all young women get like that around my sons.” The woman added with a teasing smile, Diluc just waved her off nonchalantly. He didn’t care about any other woman, you mattered most, above all. 
“You have nothing to worry about,” She reassured. “I’m not sure if her feelings are romantically driven, but I can tell she respects you a great deal. Poor thing though, she was so nervous she looked like a shaking leaf... I’ll have to help her feel more comfortable, after all, she might as well be my future daughter-in-law.”
Diluc nearly froze. Archons, his mother was something else... “Mother, I haven’t even told her I’m the one behind the letters-”
“Nonsense!” She said over excitedly. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about marrying her?” 
“Maybe even a family...?” He knew she was getting antsy for grandchildren, though he couldn’t understand why so soon. She wasn’t even in her fifties yet, and he and Kaeya were barely into adulthood. She’d had a hard enough time raising two helions at such a young age and then by herself after their father's death, so why was she resilient for him to start a family? He’d never understand mothers' need for grandchildren... 
“Marriage and children are two different things... I haven’t given much thought towards children,” He said honestly. “I always assumed I’d either be alone for life or marry for political reasons... Father had always said Jean was perfect for me,” Victoria frowned at his statement. “And children well... they don’t particularly like me.”
“Nonsense. I knew your father for ten years or so, and let me say, he’d be proud of whatever decision you make. Jean, Y/n- he just wanted you happy,” She explained wholeheartedly, words filled with sincerity. “And let me just say, no other child will look at you with such love and adoration, other than your own. They’ll hold you in the highest regards, then it won’t even matter if other kids like you or not. The only validation you’ll need is from your own child,” Her eyes glittered with joy, a smile forming on her beautiful face. “I can say that with one hundred and ten percent honesty and certainty, from experience with you and Kaeya.”
Diluc’s heart warmed at that. She always knew what to say and he always felt this great sense of pride from her whenever talking about being their mother. She enjoyed it so much, she was proud she’d taken the offer ten or so years ago, the best decision she’d ever made. 
“I much like your father, only want you happy. If being with Y/n without marriage or children makes you happy, then those things don’t matter to me.”
He flashed a warm smile, that nearly left her starstruck, nearly frozen like an icicle from Dragonspine. “Thank you, mother,” She nodded, cheeks flaring red. 
“I think one day... if things work out, I will ask her to marry me,” 
“And if she wanted children, I’d be alright with that too.”
“I’d do anything for her.”
-
“Captain, good morning.” You exclaimed walking into your Captain's office the next morning, taking note of how he was sitting behind his mahogany desk, reviewing what looked to be paperwork and a map in front of him. 
He briefly looked up, dark eyes meeting yours, before pointing to the seats opposite side of the desk. “Come take a seat, Knight.” You nodded following orders, falling into quick, silent steps, choosing to take a seat in the left chair. 
You waited for your orders, eyes staying trained on your Captain. He eventually spoke. “I see you’ve been making quick work of your commissions here in Mondstadt,” The older man noted, you just nodded, appreciating the praise. “Five a day and you’ve managed to fit in training for the younger Knights I see.”
“Yes, sir, I believe the daily training is important.” You admitted honestly. 
“Yes, it is,” He agreed, finally meeting your eyes only after he turned the map around so it was properly facing you. “Allow me to cut right to the chase,” You gulped nervously. Were you being blacklisted? Given a higher position, maybe Captain? What was going on? You slowed your brain, remembering he was going to explain to you what was going on in a moment. But that didn’t stop you from worrying. You were a capable Knight, your stats showed that you just hoped you weren’t being let go. 
Easing your nerves, your Captain began speaking again. “Acting Grand Master Jean has recently been notified that the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger, Childe, has stolen the Geo Archons’ Gnosis.” Your heart dropped to your stomach. Shock, fear, confusion was present in every form within you. Those names and titles sounded familiar, they weren’t unknown figures in Teyvat, not at all. It was a custom for all types of schooling in Teyvat to be educated on all seven of the Archons and nations, and groups such as the Fatui with their elite branch of soldiers, the Harbingers. Plus, as soon as the Knights in training passed the required tests and became official Knights, they would be taught separately from what was usually taught; learn about much rarer and dangerous types of monsters, learn every detail of the Eleven Fatui, about any assassins and people to be wary about on commissions and travels between nations.  
One question you had was why in the world were the Harbingers stealing the Archons Gnosis? You’ve heard that Lord Barbatos’ Gnosis had also recently been stolen by La Signora, Eighth of the Fatui Harbingers. So, what was the reason for the Geo Archons to be stolen as well? 
The more obvious answer to that question was they were probably stealing their powers to harness themselves. They were strong enough though, they would only be selfish to steal a literal god's Celestial power and take it for themselves. Greedy, you noted.
But you couldn’t be sure because one of Alchemy's prominent figures, an elder, who closely worked with Albedo in the past, had recently been kidnapped by a Scaramouche, Sixth of the Eleven Harbingers. Teyvat was lucky Albedo hadn’t been taken hostage, it was decided he would be under watch for now. 
You were seeing an obvious pattern here. A devious, worrying pattern. But now that an alchemist had been kidnapped and was under their care, maybe even lack thereof, one of the worst possible scenarios became evidently present and more aware. 
Alchemy could do many wonders, one is to make new forms of life; plants, animals, etc. If the pattern stayed true that they planned to be stealing all the Archons Gnosis was true, then they could possibly be creating an artificial army of sorts, with the usage of life forms created by Alchemy. This wasn’t good.
“This isn’t good.” You muttered, hand going under your chin in thought. Your captain nodded, though you missed it, too deep in thought. 
“You see the issue I presume then,” He said, you nodded in response. “Great. You’ll be a fast learner in the kind of environment you’ll be placed in.” You hummed, wondering what in the hell he was talking about.
“Acting Grand Master Jean and I, have cleared you to venture into Snezhnayan territory to gather intel.”
What? You’ve never traveled outside of Mondstadt, ever. Hell, you’ve never even been into Liyue, the closest nation to Mondstadt... Snezhnaya was very, very far away. Pretty dangerous territory, so you’ve heard. Even the locals had a hard time managing the severe storms and frigid cold. 
“Sir, I’ve never been to Snezhnaya before.” You explained, eyes filled with confusion. 
“Do not worry,” The man reassured. “You may take a small team with you if you please. The Knight’s cartographer, Maria, is very skilled at what she does, she’d be a great help,” He offered. You agreed, you’ve never met Maria personally, but she’d be a great help. “Any other cleared Knight, you may take with you on your journey,” You nodded. 
“But like all Knights, you’re exceptionally skilled in the medical field and your stats are practically off the chart; you’re an elite soldier, Knight. There’s a reason Acting Grand Master Jean requested you do this.” You froze, questioning your ability no longer. You would accept this mission without a fuss. Acting Grand Master Jean choose you for this mission specifically. She trusted you, she valued your skills and assets and was acknowledging them. This was any Knight’s dream. The man’s praise, no, Acting Grand Master Jean’s silent praise and approval meant worlds to you... You wished you had the time to thank her personally, but it was from your understanding you would need to leave immediately. 
“Thank you, sir,” He sent a firm nod your way. “I assume I would be leaving as soon as possible. So, could you pass my thanks and gratitude to the Acting Grand Master?”
He allowed a smile to spread across his aging face, head-nodding gently, though the smile had disappeared soon after. “I will.”
You bowed your head out of respect. “Thank you.” 
Your Captain continued to clue you in about the journey to Snezhnaya, that you would be sent as a spy since you’ve never had any run-ins with any of the Harbingers, therefore your job as a spy would be easier. He allowed you to pick a small team of your choosing, to accompany you into the cold. Though, reassured him you would manage fine with just Maria, the young cartographer. You didn’t want to burden anyone else, especially if this journey was much more trying and dangerous than originally thought. 
He came to a standing position, you mirrored his movements as he walked you to the door to see you out.
“I’m sorry to have to bring you this news before Valentine's day, I’m not sure if you wanted to spend the day with a loved one...” He trailed on, eyes filled with an apologetic tint. He was truly sorry to bear you this bad news of sorts, right before the day of love. You understood though, this was your duty. You wouldn’t complain because you had no reason to.
“I’m sorry to have to bring you this news before the day of love,” Ah Valentine's day... You’d completely forgotten that was coming up... “I’m not sure if you wanted to spend the day with a loved one...” He trailed on, eyes filled with an apologetic tint. He was truly sorry to bear you this bad news of sorts, right before the day of love. You understood though. 
“I had no plans, so it’s quite alright, sir,” You said turning to him as soon as you were standing under the door frame. “This mission is of the utmost importance. It’s my duty as a Knight to accept and complete the tasks asked of me.”
He nodded, hand raising to salute you, once he was done you mirrored him out of respect. “Very well put, Knight,” He praised again. “Safe travels on your journey, keep me updated with weekly reports.”
“I will, sir.”
-
As soon as you had left your Captain's office, you were quick to find the cartographer Maria, she’d be helping you find your way through Liyue and into Snezhnaya. 
It was to your knowledge that around this time of year, the snow in Snezhnaya was even thicker and harder to trudge through, you needed to leave as soon as you could.
Eventually, you found Maria in the library, grabbing various types of books and maps and throwing them into a large brown leather satchel. Great. It seems as though she had already been let in about the mission before you; you could get going much sooner.
Now, you were on your way to your own house to grab any necessities not left in your room at headquarters; clean clothes, Mora, etc. As soon as you made sure you had enough Mora to buy food or anything else you’d need along the way, and clothes for a warm journey, though making sure not to shoulder too much, you were on your way to the gates with Maria now at your side.
You didn’t make it far out of the gates of Mondstadt before you were being stopped, surprisingly by Master Diluc. 
He looked to be in a hurry, out of breath as he came running up to you and Maria. When he spotted the young woman at your side, your sword on your hip and backpack on your shoulders, he realized he might’ve caught you at a bad moment...
“Apologies, you seem to be on a mission...” He said meekly.
You waved your hand, smiling back at Maria who had wandered towards the gates to give you two privacy. Looking back at Master Diluc, you said, “No worries, I was just heading out.”
“May I ask where?” You tilted your head to the side, confused. He caught onto your confusion and clarified by saying, “I just wanted to tell you something,”
It must be important to come bounding after you like he just did, unfortunately, though you were leaving...
“Oh,” You glanced back at Maria waiting by the shared entrance and exit, face buried deep in a newly made map. “I’m actually headed somewhere important, I don’t think I’ll be back for a while,” You noticed his face drained paler than it already was, but you decided to ignore it. He probably wouldn’t clarify what that was about. “You could write me a letter and leave it on my windowsill for me for when I return-”
“I’m the one behind the letters.” He interrupted, face regaining color, but this time, his cheeks tinted red, matching none other than his wavy hair kept back in a ponytail.
Your heart stopped beating. “What...?”
“Please don’t make me repeat myself...” He whispered, glancing around. You followed his eyes silently, noticing people had begun to silently convene. 
You weren’t sure if they knew that he was the one behind the love letters. You assumed not.... they were probably just shocked to see the young wine tycoon out in public, nonetheless talking to a woman.
“Oh,” you said, ignoring that his face seemed to deepen in worry again. Unbeknownst to you, all Diluc could think was, she’s disappointed it’s me. Why else would she react that way? She hoped for someone else...
But you opened your mouth, and shared words that reassured him, made him feel less ashamed. “Thank you for telling me. I um- I’m very happy it’s you,” He glanced up from the ground, red eyes meeting yours. A genuine smile was on your face, and for once, a genuine smile came to his nature. “I’d secretly hoped it was you.” You admitted. Diluc’s heart fluttered with joy, he couldn’t describe the feelings and emotions that were currently present within him, he just knew they were so overwhelming, he’d only wanted to do one thing.
“May I kiss you?” He asked respectively. Your own heart began to flutter and do somersaults within your chest. 
Right here? Right now? In front of all these people? He was comfortable with that?
But you found yourself shyly whispering yes. 
And he did exactly that, he kissed you like a shy teen, quickly leaning in to peck your slightly dry lips (you wished you applied some lip balm before leaving your house, but you didn't know you’d be getting kissed by the most beautiful man in all of Teyvat) before pulling away bashfully. You giggled at that, ignoring the gasps of the woman, men, and few children - whose eyes were being covered by their mothers.
“I’m very happy to hear that you’re not disappointed it’s me.” He’d whispered against your lips before pulling away to stare at you. Archons, you wished he hadn’t pulled away soon. But the bright hue on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose made up for it. He’s so cute when he blushes, you thought.
Love, adoration, you couldn’t tell... But he seemed to be feeling it all and allowing it to shine brightly in his eyes. 
“I would never be, Master Diluc.” You replied, equally as starstruck as he appeared.
“Diluc is fine.” He reassured you, you stared at him in awe, before smiling. 
“Diluc...” You whispered to yourself, correcting what you'd said earlier. You would have to get used to calling him just Diluc, though dropping the title Master would be hard. It was what everyone called him.
“If it’s alright, I’d like to accompany you on your commission,” he said, shocking you for the second time today. 
“Really? You would seriously do that?” You asked, astonished. 
“Of course,” He started. “You can handle yourself, yes, but for my own sanity I would like to accompany you to make sure you’re safe.” He didn't belittle your skill, which you were thankful for. Many men, often ones in the military belittled your skill and claimed you needed assistance because you were a woman. You weren’t some fragile being, you were a Knight of Favonius. 
“Thank you...” You whispered, he seemed to understand immediately what the gratitude was for. 
“Are you ready?” You asked, noticing how he didn’t have any bags, just himself and his Claymore. “You don’t have any gear...” You noted.
“I’ll alright, that’s all I need if I’m with you.” He whispered so only you could hear, shyly reaching for your hand.
For a moment, you stood staring at his outstretched hand, wondering how in the world this had happened and when he became such a romantic. He’d been behind the letters the whole time and had kissed you?! Diluc would surely need to tell you the story of it all on your journey. You had a long way to Snezhnaya, soyou had time for the entire story. 
The only thing ingrained in your mind as you allowed his hand to encompass your own, was that you missed the touch of his lips on yours and greatly enjoyed his romantic admissions.
Tumblr media
[🏷] TAGLIST (if you want to be removed from/added to this specific taglist let me know!)
@gladly-olus​ , @kyquu , @craptainlou , @mintydump , @chscklvr , @irisxiel , @minh0ree , @whatishappinesswhatislove , @rrintarou , @sorenthousand , @cvsmix , @nonniechan ,
Tumblr media
3.12.21, rayofsunas
194 notes · View notes
Text
Dream SMP Recap (January 18/2021) - Founding of the Syndicate
Technoblade decides to start a new organization of anarchists in the Arctic and makes plans to find new recruits. He’s not the only one seeking recruits, though, as both Snowchester and the Eggpire attempt to gain Foolish’s favor, with varying degrees of success.
Puffy’s Hero Arc continues as the server also welcomes its second new member: HannahxxRose! 
---
- Techno wants to speak with Phil alone, without Ranboo. He wants more people to join him in the fight for anarchy, and wishes to create a collective of like-minded individuals to help him. He feels that there are other people who hold his beliefs, but they aren’t aware of possible alternatives to the governments that exist. 
He wants to form an association of anarchists to unite all the anarchists on the server.
He says he doesn’t think L’manburg was the only government. He’s heard rumors of other factions...
Techno doesn’t feel like they can trust Ranboo yet. They aren’t sure if he shares their beliefs, and he just hasn’t been there long enough to gain that sort of trust.
- Ranboo is nervous about being kicked out if he tells the truth, but decides to tell Techno and Phil about his memory issues, of him blowing up the Community House, and the fact that he’d had one of the discs
Techno says he doesn’t care about the Community House or the discs. He just thinks Ranboo’s a little weird, but they wouldn’t kick Ranboo out over it. 
- Techno leaves and shows Phil the stronghold and End Portal. They call it a summoning circle and decide to make it into a cool table for their headquarters.
- DreamXD comes on for the first time since the Dreamon Hunters streams and destroys the End Portal, but is convinced to place it back after Techno and Phil reassure him that they have no plans to ignite it. 
He calls himself “the protector” and says that he’s a separate entity from Dream.
- Techno and Phil continue to develop their plans, aiming to form a syndicate. The Syndicate is to remain secret. Techno wants to do some recruiting for more members. 
He doesn’t see Ranboo as a reliable-enough possible recruit. 
- Foolish logs on and wants a lot of gold.
- The Dream SMP has another new member! HannahxxRose on Twitch!
- She gets a welcome from Purpled and Karl. Antfrost and HBomb say hi as well.
- Purpled tours her around.
- Meanwhile, Tubbo wants to work on the nuclear weapons.
- Purpled explains that Hannah can build her house wherever, but Purpled’s the guy she’s got to go to to pay for the land plot. He also shows her his real estate office.
- Foolish wants 292 blocks of gold. Tubbo tells him to come to Snowchester. 
- Tubbo says that he’s welcome to come hang out in Snowchester any time if he wants to be a part of something.
- Hannah plants “Hannah’s Rose” on the boardwalk.
- She then goes off and explores on her own.
- Foolish decides to join Snowchester!
- Puffy gives Hannah a Netherite axe and shovel as a gift. In return, Hannah gives her one of her roses.
- Puffy tells her how to cleanse in Prime water after touching the Blood Vines.
- Then, Puffy and Hannah go into Ponk’s Maze out of curiosity and get trapped in it. Hannah wanders through and wonders whether she should pull the lever to sacrifice the animals. She decides not to and escapes up the staircase.
Puffy has some extra difficulty getting out.
Puffy: “It looked like I was in Heaven. There was no god there.”
- Puffy explains the routes through the Nether and shows her the path to the Guardian Farm and Tubbo’s Jungle Base, then later Sam’s base.
- Finally, Puffy shows her the L’manburg Crater before taking her to see the Egg.
- Later, Puffy checks on the L’manburg Flag and the vines that have spread at the bedrock. She wants to create a hidden refuge somewhere.
She creates a bunker underneath Eret’s Castle.
- Puffy ponders to herself about her loyalties again. Everyone around her seems to have gone off the rails. She no longer has a duckling. The Eggpire’s plans are concerning.
Perhaps it’s time she talks to Techno?
- Puffy also reflects on how Hannah’s only just joined and is thus innocent. But who knows how long that will last? 
She takes the rose Hannah gave her and goes to the bunker to write in the Captain’s Log.
“I’m forgetting what it means to be a knight, but maybe it’s more important to learn to be a hero first.”
- Puffy heads back to the Crater. For all that Tommy’s been through, he’s come back from all of it. 
“We have an empty table with what feels like...empty knights. And honestly, even though I wasn’t part of L’manburg...I feel something more when I come here than when I go to the Castle."
“I’m not just a knight to Eret or the kingdom. I’m gonna try to be a knight to everybody.”
- She feels like Eret hasn’t done much as king to actually protect anybody.
- Bad logs on to check the Egg. He says his disguise needs to be updated or else it might fade. He also needs to be careful with people like Technoblade around...he has a plan to put up propaganda everywhere.
- He observes that the Vines in the Crater aren’t spreading as fast as he thought they would be, and theorizes that without the Egg’s direct presence there, their growth has been slower. He wonders if there’s a way to remedy that.
- Bad speaks with Foolish with the intentions of converting him to the Eggpire.
- Foolish tells Bad he’s already joined up with Tubbo in Snowchester. Bad asks which faction it is, and Foolish skirts around an answer. Bad is confident that the Egg might be able to convince him otherwise and leads Foolish to the Egg Room. 
- Foolish asks what the Egg hatches? Bad says he doesn’t know, but it probably doesn’t matter. Isn’t it nice and red? Foolish says he’s “more of a green guy.”
- Foolish says he wants to sleep on it. Bad suggests he literally sleeps on the Egg. 
- They run into Antfrost on the boardwalk as Bad leads Foolish to the green flower in the Casino. Bad says he doesn’t actually like the green flower, now that he thinks about it...something about it feels off to him. Foolish says he likes this one better.
- Bad tries to convince Foolish by pointing out that Puffy is in the Eggpire, but Foolish says that he wants to have his own space away from his father and not be in the same faction.
- Bad shows Ant the possible Eggpire flag design. Foolish points out that his eyes are bright green, which is why he’s more favorable to the color. It’s a fashion thing! Gotta stick to the color scheme.
- Foolish lets slip that he thinks the Egg is stupid. There’s an awkward recover and he then leaves the Eggpire members to continue with their propaganda.
- After working with Antfrost on the propaganda, Bad decides that he’s comfortable enough that he can reveal his true form to Antfrost. He takes off his disguise. Antfrost observes that the Egg has transformed him, but doesn’t seem disturbed by it.
- The Eggpire is merely a stepping stone for Bad. This isn’t about the Eggpire. It isn’t about Bad or Antfrost or any person in particular.
It’s only about the Egg.
---
Upcoming Events:
- Tommy and Tubbo confront Dream (Wednesday)
- Futuristic Tales From the SMP Episode (Saturday)
- Nuclear Weapons Test (January 26th)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
199 notes · View notes
Text
So I was doing a rewatch (yes another one, and yes I am obsessed) and I got to the collar scene, now usually I just skip over this scene because my poor girl Alina having to go through that is awful, not ok Aleksander. But this time I actually watched it again and I noticed something...interesting, I guess you could call it. See I always assumed that Alina didn’t know that having the collar put on her would take her powers because she seemed so horrified when Aleksander did take control of her powers after the collar was put on her. The other thing I always assumed that she didn’t know was that the amplifier would be fused into her collarbone. But when watching again I realised that actually she did know both these things before the collar was put on her. Which made me wonder why she seemed so surprised by it. I mean it could just be down to continuity errors in the writing I suppose but if its not, then what other reason could she have for reacting the way she did? 
In regards to the collar, like I said, I figured she didn’t know it was going to be fused to her because she says to M*l earlier in the episode that she would ‘wear’ the bones which implies its something more similar to what was in the books and its like a necklace. But then in episode 3 the apparat tells her that the amplifiers work by ‘melding a piece of it into their bodies’. This wording does very much describe how the collar was melded into her, so this is information she had. On top of that Ivan was standing right behind her and obviously she has spent a lot of time with him by this point and you can see his own amplifier, the bear claw, is fused into his hand. I mean I guess its possible that Alina just forgot that was how it worked, or my best guess is its a case of knowing that its going to be fused into her and actually experiencing it being fused into her are two very different things and so there was just no way for her to be prepared for it. I mean it was a rather large piece to be melded to her collarbone. 
Then there’s the whole knowing that it was going to transfer her powers. Again I totally missed this the first time around and thought she was so upset because she didn’t know he was going to take her powers from her. But rewatching the scene I realised he tells her that’s what he’s going to do. At the very start of the scene she asks why David is putting the collar on her when Aleksander was the one to kill the stag, that its his amplifier and he gets its power. Aleksander replies ‘you asked for this yourself, when we met. To transfer your gift to someone who could use it.’ What’s funny is I remember the line, I’ve even talked about it in my Darkling analysis post but for some reason never made the connection that this would mean she knew what the collar would do. But anyway, I actually think her reaction is less shock that he’s taken her powers and more something else. The part in this scene that was interesting to me is that Alina in the beginning (as she often is with Aleksander) is being very confrontational and her primary emotions seem to be hurt and anger at him for lying to her. As he approaches her she does show some wariness and kind of flinches away from him, but to me I didn’t read this as her flinching away in fear, more that she was putting her guard up against him because she knew he was about to try and manipulate her and because as angry as she is with him she still feels that draw to him and so she’s wary that he might be able to break down her walls and manipulate her again, she’s worried she’ll fall for it again. What is also interesting is Aleksander reaction to seeing her flinch from him. He kind of pauses for a moment and then lowers himself down to her level. He puts them on the same level and makes his speech about all the things they can accomplish together. You can see Alina struggling with herself throughout the whole conversation where she really wants all the things he is saying, she wants them to work together to end all wars, she wants to be at his side and to work together to make ravkans and grisha safe and she wants them to work together to destroy the fold. She wants to believe him. You can see the moment she sort of surrenders to that desire, right after he says they can do anything. In that moment she chooses to trust him and she takes his hands and stops her struggles. Now I just want to be clear here that I am in no way insinuating that she consented to have the collar put on her, I mean for one thing her hands were in shackles and M*l was being held captive, for another she didn’t know what Aleksander was planning to do with her power once he had put the collar on her. But it is still interesting to me that even knowing that it would transfer her power to Aleksander, she choose to once again trust him in that moment and believed him when he said they would do everything together. Which again brings me back to that question of if she knew it was going to transfer her power to him and she had decided to trust him, why was she so shocked and hurt when he was controlling her power? 
Well like I said up until this point Alina had shown that she was hurt and angry and that she made the decision to trust him and after making that choice she seemed calm. But the fear came in when Aleksander looked away from her. This is something he’s only done before when threatening M*l. I think she knows him well enough by now to know that him looking away is because he is about to do something that he knows will hurt her, that will upset her. This is what makes her afraid, seeing him look away from her. This is when she starts to feel confused and starts asking what is happening and saying she doesn’t understand. It’s not that she doesn’t understand what the collar will do, she just doesn’t understand why he isn’t able to meet her eyes. I think this is further exacerbated by the fact that David also looks visibly upset. She’s realised that Aleksander is hiding something from her and isn’t being entirely truthful and that in turn is making her afraid. I do think that she takes some comfort from Aleksander’s eyes, throughout their whole relationship they had a thing about eye contact, right from their first scene together in the tent in episode 2. So when she seeks out that eye contact for reassurance only to find that he is avoiding her gaze it unsettles her.
 Another thing I noticed is that when Ivan slows her heartbeat at first I thought it was to stop her from struggling, but then I realised she wasn’t actually struggling by that point, she was asking alot of questions but not struggling. It might still have been a little to keep her under control but right before moving away from Alina he looks first to Ivan and then David to indicate to them to carry out the plan. So I think Aleksander arranged with Ivan to slow Alina’s heart rate more as a sedation, I think Aleksander didn’t want Alina to feel pain or fear when the antlers were fusing to her. Of course that doesn’t make what he did to her ok but it does show that he had some level of care for her that he didn’t want her to experience pain, unlike if he was a full on villain who wouldn’t give two hoots if his victim was in pain.  
I also think her shock after the collar had been placed on her, whilst some of it is the horror of feeling the antlers fused into her, its also because she once again trusted him and I think whilst she knew it would transfer her powers to him and that he would be able to use them, I think when she choose to trust him she did so believing he wouldn’t use her powers against her will. She believed him when he said they would do it together. So in my opinion it is less shock that he has access to her powers like I first thought and more betrayal that he is using them against her will, if that makes sense. If he had kept to what he said in his pretty little speech about doing it together and used her powers through the connection but only when she gave permission, and whilst keeping her in the loop of what was happening and what they would be using her powers for, if he stopped when she said she didn’t want to do something, then she would have been ok with it. It’s the realisation that doing it together is not his goal, that despite all he told her he is the one in control and that he isn’t treating her as a partner but as a slave and as a tool to be used in his grand plan no matter whether she wants to help or not. Once again he has tricked her and once again she is left feeling betrayed and like a fool. I think this is why she doesn’t believe or trust him later during the make me your villain scene when he is pretty much pleading with her to understand him, which lets be real is probably a conversation they should have had before he forced the collar on her, maybe then Aleksander wouldn’t have felt that action was necessary and they could have come up with another solution together that didn’t involve making Alina a weapon against her will.       
Anyway think I have waffled on long enough. So there we go end of random thought dump. 
45 notes · View notes
Text
Companion HCs: Adopting Shy!Teenager!Sole
Note: Sole is 13-14 in this, therefor it’s completely platonic! I’m disturbed that’s something I have to clarify but I’ve been on Tumblr long enough that I’ve Seen Some Nonsense. 
Cait:
She may not have her shit together at first but she’s determined to be the best parent possible and give Sole everything her parents never gave her
She takes things slow when it comes to getting them to open up and tries to moderate her tone and temper; asks them simple questions to get to know them and tells stories to them (PG ones, of course)
Ferociously protective. If anyone, and I mean anyone, comes near them with ill-intent she flies off the handle.
And maybe part of that’s her projecting the fact that she wished someone protected her when she was young, but she also simply never wants them to feel scared or upset or as if she won’t protect them
Gets them something to keep with them so she’s always with them, even when she has to go somewhere and they stay in Sanctuary, like matching hats or little charms she might’ve scavenged from a collapsed store
Hancock calls Cait mama bear when she flies off the handle at Flynn (rightfully so. Hancock tells Sole to turn away and takes care of that problem like he does canonically)
Cait starts calling Sole little bear after that
Teaches them how to defend themself right away; she never wants them to feel powerless if she’s not around
Cleans herself up to better herself for them; she absolutely refuses to turn out like her parents and therefor goes cold turkey from alcohol and chems
It’s hard as fuck, but Sanctuary comes together to support her
Cries when they tell her they love her and call her mom the first time
Also teaches Dogmeat commands for intimidation so if Sole’s alone they have someone else to be intimidating
Sole definitely grows up with a bit of a take-no-shit attitude. They also know their worth and won’t be walked over
Curie:
Delighted to help out Sole
She definitely tries to get them interested in the sciences, but if they aren’t, that’s okay
Initially she goes on walks with them around Sanctuary and asks them questions about what they like
Picks flowers with them and teaches them how to dry/preserve them
She deals quite well with their shy silence and doesn’t try to start conversations too often; she tells stories without expecting responses and makes sure to subtly encourage any talking by showing great interest
Teaches them French, which comes in handy when they’re in Diamond City or Goodneighbor and they need to let her know they’re anxious or uncomfortable
As soon as they let her know what will soothe their anxiety around other people, she does it without hesitation (buying stuff for them, etc)
They have their own little house in Sanctuary together with a small garden
She teaches them the scientific names of the flowers and what they need and gets them a journal to write everything down; loves encouraging their curiosity and gets excited when they ask questions about anything
As soon as they show an interest in something she throws herself into it with them
Tells dad jokes but doesn’t know they’re kind of terrible; Deacon encourages this and fully enjoys the looks on Sole’s face
Deacon’s the fun, loud uncle
Lots of hugs from Curie as long as Sole’s okay with it, she’s very physically affectionate
Danse:
Kind of a stereotypical dad in the fact that he doesn’t really do great at verbal affection but their trays are always loaded with food and they always have something once they show interest in it
Can vibe with the shyness. He’s quiet, they’re quiet, and he finds no reason to try and get some conversation out of them
They can both be quite awkward but it’s fine
Not great with physical affection either
If they show interest in repairing armor or guns or shooting he’s through the roof with excitement
Constantly glaring at everyone who looks at them even a little bit sideways
Honestly has scared the shit out of some people just by his expression
Builds them their own size-scaled power armor
If they gift him something, even if it’s just wildflowers they found, he accepts it quietly and once they leave he cries
If they call him dad he also cries quietly
“There’s just something in my eye.”
Desperately wants to be a good parent and is kind of insecure about it
Has check ins with them where they have a healthy discussion about if he’s upset them in some way or if they’d prefer he deals with something differently
The first time they travel on their own he’s worried out of his mind, as if he didn’t raise a soldier of a kid (not in a bad way, but they’re more skilled at self defense than most adults)
Sole probably inherits a rbf from him
Deacon:
The fun parent
He can be serious though
In the beginning he tries to overcompensate for their quietness by being his loud, bombastic self
When that doesn’t seem to work he gets the memo and tones it down and relaxes
Honestly they get to see the “real” Deacon pretty soon
He’s naturally joking and loud, however he doesn’t relax and just exist with someone very often
That’s what he does with sole, though, and they open up more after that
Unfortunately they’re exposed to the things the Railroad deal with quite early on, and the shit that goes with the Institute
He makes sure they’re capable of defending themself but it’s quite scary to know that an organization wants your family dead
He makes sure to reassure them that nothing will ever happen to either of them
When they start to open up more he allows himself to act more like he does with the Railroad around them
Takes them on fun disguise runs
They’ll come to realize that they’re low profile stake out missions, and he just didn’t want to leave them behind
Always makes sure they eat first; he’s dealt with food insecurity before himself and part of his protective nature is making sure they know he’ll do everything in his power to make sure they never experience that
Matching sunglasses? Absolutely.
BEAMS when they call him dad
Gage:
Probably the most reluctant parent out of all of them, to be honest
The raider lifestyle is the worst nightmare for a child; for a week he tries balancing things, since it’s all he’s known, but he very quickly gets them out of that situation
Changes their appearances and moves into Sanctuary. Preston’s suspicious when he avoids talking about his past but accepts them
He’s also extremely quiet around the new settlement, so they’re a matching pair
As protective as Cait, that’s for damn sure
Asks them questions quite often to make sure they’re okay: “Did you get enough to eat, kiddo?” “Those boots fit okay?” “Are you warm enough?” “She didn’t bother you, did she?” “Are you tired?”
Doesn’t take offense or try to pry when they give one word answers; he gets it
Not much for physical affection either but if they seek it out he gives and reassures them they’re not bothering him. If they hug him he pats them on the back and says “Thanks for the hug, kid.”
His first gift to them is a gun and knife
He means well
If they call him dad he will get emotional but doesn’t cry
Will cry years later when he thinks back on it; they’ve softened him up somewhat
Encourages them to hang out with Preston and learn about the Minutemen. It’s valuable experience and while he and Preston aren’t exactly friends they respect each other and he knows that them knowing him will be a good experience for them
Reluctant when they find Dogmeat but lets them keep him when they ask; they don’t ask for much and it’s never something ridiculous
Fondly refers to him as a mutt
Eventually ends every night by giving them a sideways hug and kissing them on the top of the head. “Goodnight, kid. See you in the morning.” Before they head to bed
Hancock:
Initially a disaster parent
He has no idea what he’s doing and his lifestyle isn’t set up for bringing in a kid
He cleans up pretty quickly. He doesn’t use drugs if they’re around, but he continues smoking cigarettes.
Seeks out Nick for advice
Sets them up with their own room and makes sure when they ask for something he jumps to get it; not to the point where they become entitled and spoiled but God he wants them to be happy and know he cares
Makes sure to enforce that you respect everyone unless they disrespect you, no matter where they come from
Everyone in Goodneighbor makes sure their drug use and drinking is done out of sight of Sole; their usage is their business but Hancock won’t accept them being a bad influence
Eventually almost everyone in Goodneighbor knows and takes care of Sole affectionately. They respect Hancock and respect Sole equally
They started referring to Sole as the Boss as a joke on Hancock, but Hancock, after laughing his ass off, agrees and the nickname becomes permanent
Once again, Sole grows up the opposite of entitled; they’re very hard working and respectful and that’s why Goodneighbor loves them so much
Hancock gifts them a necklace; it’s a wide circle, about the size of an American dollar coin, with a cutting of the fabric from his coat in the center, sewn tightly around the circle.
Eventually he introduces them to what it’s like to run Goodneighbor and involves them in the decision making
MacCready:
Another kid? Done.
He knows there’s a lot of kids out there he can’t help and he takes Sole under his wing without hesitation
He hasn’t raised a teenager yet, but he treats them with respect and always asks their opinion and if they’re comfortable
Adds another bullet to his cap after a couple days
He’s worried their shyness is the result of trauma; there’s no way anyone in the Commonwealth doesn’t have it, but he hurts at the thought of them going through 
something particularly horrific
Doesn’t try to bust down their walls and get them to open up
Instead, he remains quiet and lets them come to him
Smiles to himself the first time they call him dad
Perfectly open to physical affection and is quite proud of them the first time they ask for a hug
Probably retreats back to the community where he left Duncan rather quickly
His merc work isn’t somewhere for a kid and he probably turns farmer once they find the cure for Duncan
The first time Sole and Duncan bond over something he’s sobbing internally (cries externally too)
Eventually brings both Duncan and Sole back to Sanctuary; he knows the community there is good to raise them
Farmer!Mac with two kids and a small house and a dog? Adorable
(everyone in sanctuary agrees)
Uncle Preston becomes a thing and that’s his official title to the kids
Mac and he become good friends; Mac’s fond of people with good, solid morals and once he hears what Preston did/does for the Minutemen and the people they protect? Respect +100
Nick:
Good with kids, straight up
He’s lived in Diamond City with kids running around all over the place for a while, so he knows how to talk to them
Just treats Sole with respect and expects nothing from them (affection wise) other than the same back
Tries to keep them out of detective work. It’s depressing and he wants something more wholesome for them, as wholesome as things can be in the Commonwealth
Considers moving to Sanctuary and includes them on that decision
Takes on less risky jobs, he’s got someone to care for now
Ellie adores Sole as well and eventually co-parents, and takes over parenting while Nick’s out; whether she and Nick are platonic or romantic in this situation is up to you
Nick comes back one day and she pulls him aside to tell him Sole called them their parents and they both get emotional
He takes care to note what their favorites are; color, food, etc
More than happy to adopt Dogmeat, especially since he proves to be a good protector
Is worried about the fact that he can’t be around all the time. He knows Ellie’s a good parent, but he wants to be there for everything and he simply can’t be
Does have a couple talks with Sole about this to make sure they know he’s not trying to get away from them and he loves them dearly
Tells them stories about funny cases to make them laugh when they’re upset
Blows up at McDonough if he steps a toe out of line in Sole’s direction; McDonough wouldn’t dare kick him out and he knows that, he brings too much business in
Piper:
She takes one look at Sole’s face and the adoption papers are already signed, she doesn’t hesitate a bit
Overcompensates for the awkward silence by talking a bit too much, but eventually figures out they probably feel weird about that
If they and Nat get along she’s elated
Nat honestly brings them out of their shell a bit and it’s not uncommon to see Piper shouting after Nat and Sole running off, yelling for them to be careful and be back before dark
Stays in Diamond City
Sometimes asks Ellie to babysit; they’re good friends and Nick and her get along quite well
Can get a bit heated if anyone is rude to the kids
She’ll fist fight McDonough without hesitation if she has to, she doesn’t care
Not much changes in her lifestyle, she raises them the same way she’s been raising Nat and does her best
Preston:
Fantastic with people, it’s part of his job
Takes on the role of parent readily despite his internal panic
Worries he won’t be good enough; he’s never taken care of kids full time, and he knows being a parent is vastly different than babysitting
Definitely instills Minutemen morals in Sole; he won’t tolerate intolerance
The first time they get sick he’s full of panic. It’s a simple cold, but he refuses to leave them alone for even a second
Relaxes a bit
He used to be out of bed and immediately dress, promptly returning to duty
Now he’s still prompt but he walks around in his pajamas more
Relaxed with physical affection but never initiates; he never wants to make them uncomfortable or make them feel like he’s trying to force himself into the parent category
If they call him dad he’s walking on clouds for the rest of the day; the fact that they think that highly of him??? Amazing
Worries he’s not good enough but when people compliment his parenting he figures he’s doing alright
Honestly complimenting his parenting is the best thing that can happen to him
X6-88:
???????
Who put him in charge of this human and what is he expected to do with them????
Fumbles hard at first
Consults the scientists (who I’ll assume put him in charge of them) and eventually picks things up on his own
Institute scientists make the mistake of trying to instill things he doesn’t approve of after he grows attached to them and cares more for them than the Institute
Suddenly they’re missing a synth and his teenager
He knows the Institute like the back of his hand; they won’t find him. Ever.
Takes them to Sanctuary when he hears the radio and seeks out Preston
He respects Preston and the way he protects everyone, considering he feels that way towards Sole, and eventually, far down the line they become friends and platonic co-parents
X6 parents ¾ of the time, but he often seeks Preston’s advice in the beginning
Doesn’t particularly care if they call him dad; they’re family either way
Definitely asks them about and takes interest in their interests
Just wants them to be happy
Considering they’re pretty much his only family, he’s very attached to them; not in an unhealthy way but as they get older they call each other their best friends
148 notes · View notes
heavenunderthemoon · 3 years
Note
hi umm i love your work! could you do a jj x daughter reader where readers is like 16/17 and she's so scared that her mom might not come home one day :( thank you! & take ur time :)))
“I’ll Always Need you” (JJ x daughter!reader) 
warnings- angsty? mentions of death and gun violence 
kind of short, hope you enjoy!!!
xxTobin
The analog clock on the eastern wall of the Jareau household ticked agonizingly slow, mocking you as time went on. It was teasing you, the seconds, minutes, and hours passing by without hesitation, when you felt as though your own world had stopped long ago.
The rest of the household was silent, Henry being put to bed long ago, Will only going to sleep a couple of hours ago.
"She's okay-"
"Okay?! You call being shot in the shoulder okay?" Your voice was a high screech and Will moved to shut Henry's door, ushering you to the living room as he shook his head. Your mother had been deployed on a rather long case, one of the longest yet. For almost two weeks it had just been him, you, and Henry. His exhaustion was evident on his face illuminated only by the lamp on the end table. It was a gift from Penelope, something she had found at a flea market. The base of the lamp was flower petals, roses, because she knew they were your others favorite. JJ loved it, claiming the spot on the couch beside it as her 'reading spot'. How often had you curled up next to her, placing your head in her lap as she read to you softly? Even as you grew older, sixteen years of life molding you into a young woman- one that should've been too old to sit on their mother's lap- she did so without resistance because what if the day came that you no longer wanted her to hold you?
If she had ever voiced that thought to you, you would've thought it absurd. Would a day ever come that you didn't need her? That you didn't need your mother? Impossible, you thought instantly, because you needed your mother, you always would. You needed someone to wake you up in the morning, shaking your shoulder gently as their lips came down to touch gently upon your forehead. You needed someone who had a strange ability to know where everything you inevitably lost is (she had an unbelievable knack for knowing where you left things). You needed someone to tell you about their day, tell you things that made them think of you, tell you that they missed you, tell you that they loved you more- even if you thought it impossible. You needed someone who cooked spaghetti with a hilariously poor Italian accent, just because they knew it made you laugh. You needed someone to scream at the refs during soccer games and eventually get thrown out, just because they were on your side that badly.
And when your mother was away, you had Will, and he would gladly do all of those things, but you didn't want him to. You wanted your mother to, and what if one day, she wasn't here to do them? What if, one day, she were to go away on a case, and never come back?
That thought was intensified by the news of your mother's injury, and it consumed your body in a mass panic.
"She's fine, I promise. She's not even gonna be home until real late tonight- heck, might even be early morning- just go to bed-" He was trying, really, he was. The pleading look on his face, the hand on your arm, the understanding smile- because he understood. Truly, he did. He understood what it was like to worry about JJ. Jennifer Jareau, a woman who would always choose to be a hero, something that both attracted him to her and terrified him simultaneously. But, the sixteen year old before him shouldn't have to worry like he did.
You scoffed. Later, you would feel badly about how dismissive you were being but, then again, you had been this way all week. Crabby, moody, and agitated, all because your mother wasn't here with you. How childish, you thought, but truthfully, you didn't care.
"I'm not going to bed, I'm waiting for her." And when you said that, your face screwed into one of determination, persistence, and straight up stubbornness, Will saw just how much you took after your mother. He saw it often enough. He saw her in you whenever you ate breakfast. You had a nasty habit of inhaling your food as soon as it was set in front of you- he could swear that if he entered the Jareau women into a competitive food eating contest the two of you would win. He saw her in you when you played soccer, that look of competitiveness, that god awful smirk and that smug look you got when you won. He saw it when you plated with Henry at the park, the protectiveness, the tight hold on his hand, that look in your eyes that made him think you might never let go. And to see it now made him know that he wasn't going to win this fight.
With a sigh, he had lowered his head in defeat, squeezing your shoulder and wishing you a goodnight.
And now the seconds were tantalizingly slow as you sat in your mother's reading spot, the cushions just a little bit colder without her there.
The sound of the key turning in the lock jarred you from your thought filled stupor, your sock clad feet on the ground in seconds.
JJ was hobbling through the doorway, her bags hanging on one shoulder causing her entire body to droop to one side. If it had been any other circumstance you might've teased her for it, maybe you would have made a reference to Hunchback of Notre Dame, or Igor, or anything else that would have made her laugh, but your eyes were glued onto the bandages wrapped around her free arm.
Her blue orbs traced the source of the light. It wasn't abnormal for it to be on when she came home. You had an unspoken tradition to leave her lamp light on when she was gone, a way to keep her with you she she wasn't there, but you standing before it was new, especially at 4:30 A.M. on a school night.
She would've yelled. She was just about to, actually. She was about to hiss some motherly threat, some kind of 'go to bed' order that, when demanded correctly, had you listening instantly. But she didn't. She didn't do that because the look on your face, pale and ashen, had morphed into one of relief whenever you saw her.
She dropped her bags onto the floor, opening her arms and allowing you to run into them. She let out a small grunt when your body collided with hers, and you lessened your hold slightly, afraid you might've hurt her. That is, until she squeezed you harder, her hand coming to cup your head. Your nose buried into her shoulder, and you felt childish all over again.
"You waited up for me?" She didn't sound mad. She wasn't. She was worried. Worried for you.
Guilt washed over you in waves and you just burrowed yourself farther into her. "You're hurt." Was all you said, and she nodded.
The only light int he house was that rose petal ridden lamp. "I'm okay."
Oh, how long she could've held you in her arms. She thought back to those days. The nights of just you and her, the endless sleepovers, the never-ending tea parties, the countless games of hide-and-seek. How had you grown up on her?
The whispered reassurance made you frown, pulling away. You fell back onto the couch, arms hooking around your knees, and she fell back with you, tossing an arm around you.
"What if you weren't? What if you had died?" It was barely a whisper, weak and broken. You rested you rhino onto your nee, staring into your mother's eyes so long as she let you. The fears wouldn't subside, wouldn't stop crashing over you with a stupendous amount of strength, burying you in them, controlling your thoughts, feelings, actions.
Now, JJ was frowning. "I didn't."
"But what if you did? You go on these cases every week, and you get shot at." You winced when you said shot, eyes landing on the bandaged arm. JJ folded it into herself, pursing her lips. She wished you weren't in pain, she wished you weren't so scared because this fear wasn't something for you it was something for her. Your fears were about her, and it was about something she couldn't control. And it would have been so much better if she was able to control it, if it were a monster or a bad guy, because she hunted those for a living. But this wasn't a tangible thing. This was a feeling, and she couldn't fight feelings.  "You promised you would stay safe." Your voice cracked, lip trembling.
And what was JJ to say? She had. She had promised you, just like she did on every case before that. She promised she would try, but didn't she? Hadn't she tried? That counted for something. Looking at your face now, the tear tracks fresh as they ran down your cheeks, she supposed it didn't count for anything. That it wasn't enough. That nothing would ever be enough.
"You're gonna die one day." You spoke again, and this time it wasn't a tone of sadness, or fear. It was a statement. "You're gonna die one day, and then what am I gonna do without you?"
It sounded selfish, and whiny, and petulant, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was her. All that mattered was the nights you had spent in her bed, waiting out a terrible storm, counting the lightning strikes until you fell asleep, her hand in yours. All that mattered was your pleas for her to not let go when you learned to ride a bike, that fear of falling consuming you until you had heard whooping and hollering and turned to find her yards away, that proud smile on her face that you could swear was the brightest thing in the world. All that mattered was career days, dressing up like her, your collared shirts ironed and crisp, and when the teachers asked if you wanted to be a media liaison you didn't bat an eye as you responded that you didn't care what you were, as long as you were like your mom. All that mattered was a strong woman, the strongest you thought you would ever find, and her vulnerability, because unlike what you thought when you were younger, she wasn't immortal.
JJ's breath hitched, bringing her hand out to wipe a freshly fallen tear. Her hand was warm, and you leant into the touch. "I'm not dying for a long, long time. And, by then, you'll be all grown up, and you won't need me anymore."
"I'll always need you." You responded immediately.
JJ shook her head, a sniffle escaping her own nose. She shook her head, giving a watery smile. "You'll always want me. But you won't need me." She corrected softly, palm coming to rest against your cheek.
You thought about that for a moment, still not entirely sure if it was true, but becoming far too tired to argue. You were going to regret staying up this late in a couple of hours. But, for now you focused on your mother. Her smile, her touch, her warmth, and you sighed.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
You smiled tiredly. "I love you most."
The blonde chuckled, leaning her head against your knee. "Not possible."
Kinda short, but I tried lmao. To all who sent requests, I will get to them, just give me a second! I start classes again tomorrow so I might be a bit preoccupied:) 
177 notes · View notes
mcbride · 4 years
Text
Daryl Dixon + romantic gestures
Tumblr media
Daryl’s always taking care of people, but there’s no one he takes better care of than Carol. He’s always doing little things for her, some of them completely platonic with no ulterior motive than to help, support and comfort his BFF Carol. although on some not so rare occasions, there’s no mistaking that some of his actions can be interpreted for what they really are - romantic gestures. 
Daryl Dixon is actually a pretty sensible/sensitive guy, which coming from someone with an abusive past and complete lack of experience when it comes to relationships and expressing his feelings, is shockingly surprising. Plus, it’s the damn apocalypse, there’s no time to court a woman, but consciously or not, that’s exactly what Daryl’s been doing for the past decade. I really think sometimes he’s completely clueless he is actually doing it until he becomes too self-aware, showing some vulnerability, shyness and even awkwardness. However those romantic gestures just come naturally to him when he’s around Carol.
The most painfully obvious romantic gestures by Daryl Dixon after the jump...
The shoulder massage
Tumblr media
Carol is uncomfortable, her shoulder hurts, and without thought Daryl simply offers to massage it for her. He’s so distracted by the ease the two now have with each other that he only notices the intimacy boundary he just crossed when Carol intensely looks back at him and smiles. “Pretty romantic,” she comments. Yes. Yes, it is. Daryl did that. He becomes aware of exactly what he is doing and what it could mean, but since he’s not ready for any of that, he backtracks. Carol’s teasing jokes aren’t unwelcome but he really doesn’t know how to respond beyond the cute, smiling “STAHP.”
The sanctuary hug
Tumblr media
As soon as he realizes it’s Carol approaching the group, Daryl completely forgets himself, everybody else around them and runs to literally sweep her off her feet. This is the first time Daryl actively seeks physical contact on a deeper level with another human being on the show. It’s a huge turning point. Do I need to say more?
The protective/chivalrous act
Tumblr media
Daryl always acts as a protector of those who need the most, but he subtly and unconsciously acts extremely protective of Carol even knowing she is damn capable of protecting herself. Daryl will have Carol’s back on every occasion and physically stand between her and potential danger, like when they first encountered Father Gabriel or when Noah put her in danger. He will offer her food/water, make sure she is sleeping and she is ok. He may act like a crude rude redneck around anyone else (pissing in the corner, manhandling people, beastly chugging spaghetti), but not around Carol. There’s so many examples of Daryl continuously doing the apocalypse equivalent of opening the door for her. Daryl’s chivalry is reserved for Carol. She may know him better than anyone else, but he really wants her to see the best version of himself.
The water jugs (part II of the chivalrous act)
Tumblr media
Yep, Daryl’s got no game whatsoever, but he did try to be smooth, showing Carol that the redneck can be a real gentleman, and that’s progress. Even though, Daryl is already carrying as many water jugs as one can safely carry, he offers to take one of Carol’s too. There’s no logic to this gesture that ends with Daryl facepalming in embarrassment when he lets one of his jugs fall out of his hand to land at Carol’s feet. Carol’s face is priceless. He gets a teasing smile and probably should take that as a win considering her state of mind in that moment.
The food tray with flower (part III of the chivalrous act)
Tumblr media
Something as simple as leaving someone a tray of food with a flower would have been a perfectly casual act. But we’re talking about Merle Dixon’s brother, the one who considered himself a nobody before the world went to shit. Daryl, the guy who eats raw squirrel/possum with his bare hands, took the time to pick a flower to decorate the tray of food he carefully left at Carol’s door. Is there anything more romantic in the middle of the damn apocalypse ffs? I still can’t believe we were robbed of watching Carol’s expression when she realized he had done that for her right before she’d tease him about it. But Carol wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to voice her appreciation for these small grand gestures.
The compliments/teasing
Tumblr media
When Carol needs an ego boost, Daryl is there to remind her she’s a good shot, she saved them all at Terminus, and she’s got a whole lot more to offer, but her place is with them/the group. She is needed. He has been slowly learning to tease/flirt with Carol through the years. Daryl, too pragmatic for the frivolous things of the past, lets Carol know she looks good in pink. He’s also quick to let her know her soccer mom style is so not her. “You look ridiculous.” Recently, they have crossed into teen love territory with their competitive flirty games of kill the walker or hit the can, while relentlessly taunting each other. This new playfulness between them resulted in an exchange of gifts- the friendship bracelet and lucky acorns, - they obviously both cherish.
The unconditional support
Tumblr media
There’s absolutely nothing Daryl won’t do for Carol - from babysitting her kid to letting her know he could and would never hate her no matter what. Daryl will defend Carol against Rick, Tyreese, Gabriel, Magna, and whoever else. If that wasn’t enough, he was also there for her, holding her during the two worst moments of her life - losing both of her kids, Sophia and Henry. And he continues to stay by her side through anything and everything, even when she’s on a reckless revenge mission. “I’m the one you tell. Me.” Daryl wants to help her, but Carol is not able to open up to him and yet it does not stop him. “I wanna be there for you.” After Carol crossed every line and pushed all of his limits and you think he’s had enough, Daryl is still reassuring her everything is gonna be alright. “You still got me.” This is LOVE, not platonic love, it’s the ‘you are under my skin’ type of love that is forever.
The need to comfort
Tumblr media
The skittish Daryl, who was afraid of any and all human contact when we first met him, is now completely gone. He’s grown so much and he’s finally in a position to provide emotional comfort and to express it through physical contact. He has done this with Judith and Connie too, but Daryl’s weakness (and strength) is Carol and her emotional well being is his priority. The best way he found to express this is to hug her whenever he feels like she needs it the most - from finding her at the savior’s compound, checking up on her at the creepy house in the woods, trying to bring her back to think about the future they can still have, to reassuring her he’ll always be there for her. Daryl is no longer shy about pulling her in for a big full body hug, and sometimes I wonder if he’s not doing it for his own sake too. I mean who can ever resist a teary eyed Carol!?!
The desire to spend time together
Tumblr media
For someone who isn’t used to express his wishes/feelings, Daryl has been making an effort to let Carol know how much he enjoys spending time with her and her alone. He started with a timid “I don’t like not seeing you” to openly ask her to come home and tell he needs her to stay and not isolate herself again. “Otherwise I’ll have to punch holes in all them boats.” This quickly escalated when Carol suggested they could stop fighting and leave it all behind. The idea the two of them could just get on the bike and go, run away together, has been deeply seeded on Daryl’s mind and he alludes to it few times through the last season. “We have a future./New Mexico’s still out there.” Daryl is finally ready. Carol just needs to catch up.
233 notes · View notes
woodchoc-magnum · 3 years
Text
9-1-1 4x04 Reaction
Spoilers under the cut
Buddie for comfort:
Tumblr media
Saving the parents for last because jesus fucking christ that’s a rant, and also, I’m functioning on very little sleep so this may be completely disjointed and rambly:
I am in love with Buck and Eddie trying to solve the crime together and I wish they would re-film that scene without face masks
Because they so would be into true crime, like Eddie pretends to be cool but he’s a secret nerd, and he loves to nerd out with Buck, so it makes total sense that they watch crime documentaries together like COME ON
I’m incorporating this into a fic somehow
May Grant the 911 operator 🔥🔥🔥
Gratuitous shirtlessness in the form of Albert and Chimney, thank you very much 911
Albert fucking RUNNING AWAY FROM CHIMNEY 10/10 comedy
And then Chimney RUNNING AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE TEAM 10/10 comedy as well
Albert throwing a whole wheel of brie into the oven? Like just throwing it in there? Literally just throwing it in there
I don’t know why they added that in but I’m not mad at it
Chimney making friends with the mad bomber after the preview was like “IS CHIMNEY GONNA DIE????” no he’s gonna make a new friend and then brain him with an oxygen tank duh
Tumblr media
Well, I guess it’s about that time to talk about the worst parents in the show, so here we go:
Some of this is gonna be speculation because obviously we don’t know how this all played out, but we can make some guesses. My theory is that Daniel the dead brother died... perhaps saving Buck when he was only very little, hence Buck not remembering it, and his parents... asking Maddie not to tell him?
What even the FUCK though
Why would you ask your NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO LIE TO HER LITTLE BROTHER ABOUT THEIR OTHER BROTHER WHO DIED
And how the hell do you cover something like that up? Did they simply move away from friends and family so no one would ever talk about it? Did they box up all the pictures and memories and everything and just... fucking... MOVE ON? Or not move on, because they have obviously never forgiven Buck for whatever the hell happened.
Okay, this is my speculation:
The parents are somehow responsible - for example, an accidental drowning (I don’t think this is what happened, this is just an example). So hypothetically, they’re at the beach, and Buck is a toddler, and the parents aren’t paying attention and he wanders into the sea and gets swept out; Daniel comes to his rescue and dies in the act of saving him (this thing happens in Australia all the time, hence why I’m using it as an example - swim between the flags, gang!).
So then you have the parents who are ultimately responsible for not paying attention, you have the unavoidable tragedy of one of the children dying, and the way they coped with this terrible tragedy was to place the blame on Buck (even though it wasn’t his fault, at all) and pretend that Daniel had simply never existed.
This means that Buck spends his life living in the shadow of the older brother who was glorified, who died saving him, and Buck has no idea why he can never please his parents and why they don’t love him. This is why they’re checked out as parents, because one of their kids died, and instead of seeking therapy, they decided to live a lie and blame their son for something he had no fucking control over.
Tumblr media
So setting all that aside, let’s talk about these two absolute fucking pieces of shit.
They’ve alienated their children so much that both of them are absolutely terrified when they turn up. Buck is petrified. He’s spent his whole life never living up to their expectations, never feeling good enough, or worthy enough, constantly being put down - no wonder he ran away to California to put some distance between them. And he’s finally in a good place, going through therapy, dealing with his issues, and now bam - his parents are back in town to screw up all of his hard work.
And Maddie’s just as freaked out, because she’s trying to protect Buck from them. I feel like she has good intentions but her mistake is wanting Buck to have a relationship with people who don’t necessarily want to have a relationship with him, and for telling them about him being in therapy (which I still don’t understand, but I guess maybe the next episode will reveal the answer). To be clear, I don’t think Maddie is wrong for having kept this secret. She was manipulated into it by her parents when she was only a child, and that is not her fault, at all. She’s been told she’s doing the right thing and she hasn’t questioned it, but now, she is.
And, importantly - if her parents were checked out mentally and emotionally, she had to do a lot of the heavy-lifting and parenting when it came to Buck, when she was just a little girl herself. Maddie is the reason Buck is as wonderful as he is - she raised him.
Now, back to the pieces of shit:
They didn’t like Doug, so they washed their hands of Maddie, even though they lived in the same fucking town. So she was getting beaten up by her absolute monster of a husband, and ending up in hospital, and they were doing fucking nothing to intervene or help her.
THEY DIDN’T EVEN GO TO HER WEDDING. THEY SHOWED HER NO SUPPORT AT ALL. LIKE I CANNOT. All because they DISAGREED? SHE’S STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, like oh my god, I can’t even.
She had to flee across the country to Buck in California to finally escape him, because their parents didn’t care enough to help. Motherfuckers.
And then the whole “we don’t do hospitals” - bitch, they are your fucking CHILDREN. If your CHILDREN are in hospital, you are supposed to CARE. Buck got crushed by a ladder truck, he had an embolism and nearly died, he went through a tsunami and NOTHING? Nada? Maddie had to kill her husband after he nearly killed her, and NOTHING? Buck had to call to tell them what had happened!
And then to start crying and asking "I don’t know what you expected us to do?” - like, bitch, FUCKING ANYTHING?
I mean
I cannot with these people
What kind of white WASP-y nonsense is this
Let me tell the story of when I had appendicitis - I was taken to the hospital by my friend at night, my mum lives two hours away - when she found out that it was appendicitis and I’d be going in for surgery, she jumped in the car in the middle of the night and drove two hours to be with me, and I was a grown-ass woman at the time. It is not normal for parents not to care when their children are sick/injured/being beaten almost to death by their abusive husbands/getting crushed by a ladder truck. You mean to tell me that the footage of the crowd lifting the truck off their son didn’t go viral? That they didn’t see that?
Fuckers.
You don’t like something so you just bury your head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist? Your kids aren’t perfect so you just wash your hands of them? Their problems don’t matter, not when it’s all about you?
Narcissists.
Blaming the kids for everything, manipulating Maddie into doing their bidding - and still manipulating her as an adult, by bringing her gifts and driving across the country and being all, “we want to be grandparents!” after everything? After letting her husband nearly kill her and blaming her for having bad taste in men? FUCKKKKKK
And the fucking BABY BOX. Do not even get me started on how ANGRY I WAS.
Like, I have friends with kids (I have cats, personally) so I know that they’re busy, but to not have anything, as if he’s just not worth it.
Like I can’t
It breaks my heart to think about his face, and the realisation setting in... to know that your parents don’t love you? To have lived with that your whole life? It’s so fucking gutting.
Like, obviously I am extra emotional because I’m running on empty today, but god damn this episode just came along and punched me right in the face.
Also, I’m making a BIG CALL, they’re going to use the song ‘Daniel’ by Elton John in the next episode:
Daniel my brother you are older than me Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky
100% they’re using that song, I’m calling it now, and if they don’t, it is a wasted opportunity.
Okay, let’s end on a good note, because this has been a rant:
Eddie’s open concern for Buck; the fact that Buck tells Eddie about his therapy, that he feels comfortable opening up to him - that Eddie was there, watching Buck beat the shit out of the boxing bag and listening to him, and taking his side and reassuring him... that is next level shit and I am here for it.
I am not here for the return of Ana in the next few episodes but that’s a future rant
Tumblr media
Hopes for Buck Begins:
That the firefam - his real family - will rally around him, and that Buck and Maddie will take a united stand against their parents and tell them to get the fuck out of their lives.
Also I kinda want Bobby to meet the Buckley’s? Just... for him to be horrified, I guess? I don’t know, but I want Bobby to meet them and understand how awful they are and offer Buck some comfort as his surrogate father.
I would like Buck to be hugged by someone who loves him, please, because he needs it.
And selfishly, I want some kind of Buck, Eddie and Christopher scene, because they are also his family. Everyone in this show has their little family unit, and Eddie and Christopher are Buck’s.
Tumblr media
Ana be damned
38 notes · View notes
candlelight27 · 3 years
Text
Chapter 6: This Mask That I've Become
Summary: Sylvain has been ignoring you since you met him. You had been in love with him since you met him. College is about to offer you a fresh start. New academic year, new life. You were ready to forget him. But fate seems to have other plans… (COLLEGE AU)
Series: Seeking Your Warmth If Only For A Day
Warnings: kissing in a church lol, tresspassing and etc... don't do that, kids
Pairings: Sylvain Jose Gautier x Female Reader
Word Count: 7065
AO3: This Mask That I’ve Become
A/N:  Thanks to @galamixx again for being my beta! It's hard, I know lol so I appreciate it a lot!!!
I hope you like this chapter! It was a bit hard cause I'm going into unknown territory, but I hope you enjoy it either way. Comments, likes, whatever is really really appreciated! Thanks for sticking around with this!
My dearest Byleth,
Your letters brighten my days, otherwise dulled by duties. I must ask for your forgiveness again, since I couldn’t answer any text message yet. Seteth is trying to help me, but he’s not well versed in technology either. The world is moving way too quickly for us to catch up…
Please, keep updating me with the news of our dear students. I’m truly happy to see them thrive and prosper in the continuation of their studies. All those stories you tell me remind me of good times, already gone… Times I wish to never forget. It’s a gift of the Goddess to be able to see them again, even though I must stay in the shadows of this lonely cathedral.
I know we mustn’t be seen together, but I long to see you. Please, visit us soon. Seteth wants to have tea with you, too. He’s much more cheerful now that he’s sure Flayn is safe and sound whatever she wishes to do.
The real reason for this letter is to inform you that I arranged an archive to keep all of our memories safe. I know I refused your petition at first, but after long hours of deep thought, I came to the same conclusion as you. It’s our obligation to ensure the safety of the continent and everyone who lived here, and if we lose our memories, we wouldn’t be able to do it. And in case we die… others will take on our legacy. Hopefully, you’ll be able to take a look at them soon, so you can add any necessary information. I’ll send them as soon as they’re finished.
I’m doing as you instructed: I’m writing reports and so are the other Nabateans.
Thank you for your dedication, Byleth. I’ll always be here for you.
Yours sincerely,
Rhea.
Sylvain and you were next to each other, leaning over the table in your kitchen. Your gaze was fixed on the careful strokes of Rhea’s quill. Ingrid wasn’t home, so told her you’d invite Sylvain over to study and finish that project ‒ which you hadn’t touched in months, if you were being honest. Of course, it was just an excuse. Instead of doing homework, you were chatting and conspiring among opened books about matters not related at all with university. Who’d rather do that when you were living a real adventure?
As you went over the letter for an eleventh time, Sylvain called your name expectantly. He had a bright gleam in his eye that screamed trouble.
“Do you know what day it is next Friday?” He asked, a tilted smile on his lips.
“It’s the 21st,” You answered. You took the letter with your index finger and thumb, and slowly placed it back inside the envelope.
“Yes and no, my dear friend. It’s the founding day of the Kingdom of Faerghus”, Sylvain pointed out. You raised your eyebrows, questioning. You already knew that, just as every other student; that day marked the date when lessons were interrupted. Typically, there was a week more to hand over projects and other requirements to pass the subjects, so some students went right back home, yet others stayed behind in their dorms until they were completely finished.
“So what?” You asked.
The redhead breathed deeply as he prepared mentally for what was coming next. He felt the weight of your eyes on him. Were you judging him? No, you weren’t, he was well aware of that, but he couldn’t discard all those doubts that bombarded him at all times. He felt the guilt running through his veins and he was second guessing his next proposition.
“I’ve got a plan,” he managed to say at last. That charming façade of his that made him always get his way had faded away. You tilted your head, unable to make heads or tails of Sylvain and prompting him to explain himself. He cleared his throat and continued. “That evening, a special mass is going to be celebrated, just like every year. It’s the perfect opportunity to sneak a peek of those documents.”
“The perfect opportunity?” You exclaimed, eyes wide open. “Sylvain, it’s going to be crowded!”
“Yes! That way, nobody will notice we’re hiding in the old confessionary booth! You know they barely use it anyways. Then, we get out when everybody’s gone, we go to Rhea’s office, find the documents and run away as far as we can.”
You blinked, once, twice, thrice. Sylvain was impatient to hear your opinion. He was jolting his leg up and down out of nervousness as you bit your lips, deep in thought. He already knew you had said you were in this together, that you'd help him find the truth, yet those were just words, not acts. He needed your reassurance once again, for deep inside his chest, against his wishes, he was expecting you to reject his idea, to ridicule him and leave him behind ‒ just like Miklan, like his parents. Because wasn’t that what always happened? He trusted someone, then they’d betray him for circumstances that he never could understand.
“Are you sure that’s not trespassing?” You frowned.
“Since it’s a religious building, I’m pretty sure it’s not,” he claimed. “There’s a right of devotion, or something like that.”
“You’ve thought of this carefully, haven’t you? It’s a solid plan.” You nod slowly. Solid and stupid. It could work, but it entailed a great risk.
“It is,” Sylvain said. His heart was pounding fast in his chest, waiting for your objections.
“What if somebody catches us?”
“We’ll say we forgot something”, he posed. “My phone, your purse, whatever.”
“Seteth won’t buy it”, you argued.
“But it’s me who you’re going with,” he pointed to his own face. “He’ll just think we’re there to bang. He’ll lecture us and won’t think about it further. My reputation precedes me, after all.”
“Okay, fine”, you yielded easily. “In for a penny, in for a pound.” You stretched your arms, thinking about what you were getting into. However, for some indefinite reason, you weren’t worried about it. You were more worried about him.
Sylvain was relieved but, as always, uneasy with his own actions. Was he asking too much of you? Was he pushing your limits? It was hard to act all cool and mighty around you when he could barely control his own feelings and the messy train of thought that always accompanied him.
“I’ll drive us there,” Sylvain commented when he noticed he had been silent for a while. Even though you nodded and tried to smile, you were worried about Sylvain. You noticed him getting lost in his own thoughts, and it was worse that he had the horrible habit of never telling anyone what tortured him inside. Despite wanting to ease him, you couldn’t do anything but reassure him that the plan will go well. Executing it was the only thing left to do now.
--
Sylvain double parked right in front of your building. He was well dressed to go to the Cathedral, with a white button-up, dress pants and boots. His parents might be there, after all, and he didn’t want to piss them off. Sylvain tapped the wheel with his fingers. It was too early, but he couldn’t wait at home — He was restless, so he had driven to distract himself. Still, that didn’t make him calmer, so he was restless in front of your window instead.
Impatient and anxious, Sylvain grabbed his phone out of his pocket and wrote a message. There was a reason for his uneasiness: he was going to ask you out. Or he was going to reiterate his love for you and see where things would go from there.
Torn between his own actions, his happiness, and if it might make this whole timeline shenanigan more confusing for you, he couldn’t fall asleep and instead dwelled on it for hours. Something had to change. Pitying himself and being a hollow piece of shit to almost everyone only deepened the wound in his soul.  He plucked up the courage and decided he’d do things the right way from then on. And, first, he had to confess to you a couple of things ‒ a sort of declaration of intent.
Sylvain wouldn't ask Ingrid for advice, because she would think this is another one of his dating escapades. She never takes him seriously. Dimitri always understood him, but was clueless. So was Felix, who would be even more unwilling to help. Claude would give him the best piece of advice, but he refused asking the Almyran out of pride. And he was sure Dorothea would tell him to fuck off. So he had only one option. His usual first option, because she knew him like the palm of her hand and always spoke her mind: Mercedes.
Sylvain 15:10 : Mercedes, pls, help me ☹
Mercedes 15:10 : What’s wrong, Sylvain?
Mercedes answered almost immediately. Her attention eased his nerves. Sylvain looked at his watch; he had about twenty minutes left until you’d meet him and sort out his agitation.
Sylvain 15:11 : It’s about you-know-who
Sylvain 15:11 : I need your advice
Mercedes 15:11 : You-know-who finally confessed?
Sylvain 15:12 : No, but I might?
He had finally worded it. A weight lifted off his shoulders. Mercedes would know if it was madness or in fact it would work, right?
Mercedes 15:12 : What are your true intentions?
Sylvain 15:12 : I think I’m in love, for real
Mercedes 15:13 : Oh dear
Mercedes 15:13 : At first I thought you weren’t that serious
He could hear the voice of Mercedes exclaiming, as he had for years. He wasn’t surprised. How many times has he toyed with the idea of love only to discard it? And he had never ever been serious with anyone. If somebody showed the littlest interest in him, he’d dismiss that person and do terrible things to them before they’d do them to him.
Mercedes 15:13 : I told her to be careful around you because you play with women’s feelings
Sylvain 15:13 : I’m not angry, can’t blame you for speaking the truth
Sylvain 15:14 : But you’re the worst wingman ever, tbh
Sylvain 15:14 : Still love you tho <3
Mercedes 15:14 : There is something positive!
Mercedes 15:14 : You-know-who hasn’t run away yet! You two grew closer instead! Most would have run away!
Mercedes 15:15 : I think that’s a good sign
Mercedes 15:15 : She might be in love with you, even if she doesn’t know it
Sylvain 15:16 : I don’t like that might. I’d rather to be sure about it
Mercedes 15:16 : Just remember doubts are natural, but you must persist
Mercedes 15:16 : It’s now or never, confess your love!
Mercedes 15:17 : And don’t play with her feelings, please
Sylvain 15:17 : I know it’s hard to believe, Mercie, but I’m serious
Mercedes 15:18 : Sothis has answered my prayers then 😊
Sylvain 15:18 : Or Byleth. The professor paired us on that damned project.
Mercedes 15:18 : I have to go now. I’ll answer later. Write to me if you need it, ok?
Sylvain 15:19 : Ok, see you! Thanks, Mercedes
He appreciated Mercedes’ honesty. However, she had given Sylvain another headache, for the devout girl had reminded him of something else. He hadn’t gone out with a girl in months. He had uninstalled all his dating apps – which weren’t exactly for dating, obviously, but flings. Even so, years of being a bastard had to catch up with him at some point, and he guessed it’d be soon enough.
A knock on the window of the car startled him. It was you, with a radiant smile.
“You’ve come early!”, he greeted you as he opened the window. Unknowingly, Sylvain hid his mobile phone. “Get in.”
You went around the car, which looked new, but not extravagantly expensive, and opened the door.
“You’re the one who is early!”, you said, fastening your seatbelt. “Did I have you waiting for too long?”
“Not at all!” Sylvain brushed it off.
“I saw your car through the window, that’s why I came earlier”, you smiled.
Without further ado, he started the engine and thus began your two-hour journey to the biggest cathedral in Fódlan, and your old highschool.
--
The nearer you were to Garreg Mach, where you practically lived for years – excluding holidays, of course, when you’d visit your family – the more mountains and nature you’d see through the windows.
Sylvain was suspiciously quiet yet again.
“I thought Dimitri would be coming with us?” You asked to spark a conversation against the unbearable silence.
“He’s going to spend all the break with his father in Faerghus after the mass, so he’s not returning to college afterwards,” Sylvain explained nonchalantly. “Besides, he doesn’t like when others drive. Just an odd habit of his.”
“What about you?” You asked. “How come you aren’t going to Faerghus afterwards too? You’ve finished all your papers.”
“Nah”, he shrugged. “My relationship with my family… is rocky. So I’ll be staying behind until our university closes and I finish all my excuses.”
“I thought Miklan was gone for a long while.”
“Well, it’s not just Miklan...” The redhead added. “My father is not interested in me and my whole being, but rather in my grades and my capacity of managing his businesses and his land. Oh, and he’s also-” Sylvain hesitated. He realized he usually doesn’t open up to others this fast. However, thinking about the past you two share, and how you’re always genuine to him despite everything he’s making you do, he continued. “My father is also constantly trying to auction off my hand to any bigwig’s daughter who might make a big investment for the family. It’s exhausting.”
“Sounds horrible. I’m sorry you have to deal with a family like that.” You commented sympathetically. You wanted to express your compassion, so you caressed his shoulder. However, Sylvain flinched in the slightest manner, which you noticed and retreated your hand.
“Remember those girls in the library long ago?” He wondered.
“Yes.”
“I met them in one of my father’s parties. Two fickle, capricious girls that wanted a good catch to get expensive gifts and an exciting roll in the hay.” His tone was harsh, and you saw his knuckles whiten over the wheel. Suddenly, he changed his register into a lighter one. “I forgot to tell you that Edelgard is going to be there with Dimitri. She usually can’t attend, since Enbarr is too far away. Maybe she’s going to stay with Dimitri in Fhirdiad to… amend their relationship. Who knows. And Hubert will be surely there, being Edelgard’s shadow.”
“Ah, I see. Well, she is Dimitri’s step sister, after all, they ought to be on good terms,” You commented.
“Isn’t she your friend?”
“Not exactly. Well, not like Dorothea. We get along, but we haven’t met that much outside the classroom.” You answered.
“I see.” He nodded slightly.
You took advantage of your position in the co-pilot seat and observed him. His soft hair, dark red in the roots and orangey where the light caressed it, the shape of his straight nose and his outlined jaw... He was objectively handsome. The actions of those girls Sylvain talked about were despicable, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that they thought they had won the lottery: this man was rich, handsome, friendly and extremely seductive. However, they had miscalculated the situation, because they had not been the first nor the last ones to try, and they didn’t know Sylvain hated playing that game.
It saddened you, that he had to live that. But it saddened you even deeper in your heart that you didn’t know what to expect. Nothing could assure you that Sylvain would get over his ex-lovers and stalkers. And yes, you liked him – some would assure you were in love with him – but would you be able to pursue a romantic relationship? Especially in this situation?
Ingrid had voiced her opinion a lot of times: you shouldn’t try it. You knew that whatever you did, she was going to support you, but she had her reservations. Mercedes was wary as well. The only dissonant view was Dorothea’s.
Dorothea had gone to a date with Sylvain back in high school and she concluded he was a pig. You had heard so, sat in your desk right behind hers as she was telling the story to Edelgard. Despite that, Dorothea and Sylvain became allies of some sort – which made you jealous until you finally befriended the star of the Garreg Mach choir. It might have been the common nature of the gossip they both faced, or the fact that most of the high-end parties they attended were frequented by the same dull people. It didn’t matter what it was, but, although Dorothea restated constantly that Sylvain was nauseating, her attitude towards him had changed. It lit a small hope within your heart that your friend, who usually despised a lot of men of his kind, was encouraging you.
“Give him a chance!”, she exclaimed one day while you were having lunch with her and Petra. “I feel it in my gut! You’re made for each other.” Petra agreed, although she didn’t know either of you that much.
Yet, what made you different from all those girls Sylvain hated? That unexplained deep connection? Because, other than that, nobody could tell if your love was more authentic than theirs. You weren’t even sure yourself. Did you like him because he was a pretty face, or because you actually were in love? It was hard to tell.
As if Dorothea had read your mind and your hesitation, your phone vibrated.
Dorothea 15:53 : GO FOR THE KILL
Dorothea 15:53 : Make him suffer a little bit before falling into his arms tho
Dorothea 15:53 : AND tell me ALL the juicy details afterwards 😉
“What’s wrong?” Sylvain glanced over at you with a chuckle.
“What?”
“You just snorted!” He laughed.
“Oh, just Dorothea wishing us good luck,” You tried to sound nonchalant, but you weren’t as good as him. He laughed.
“Is she telling you to avoid me like I’m a pest?”
“Something like that…” You lied.
--
It didn’t matter from which angle you observed it; the Cathedral had always been impressive. The clear stone, bathed in the sunrays, seemed to be pure gold, resplendent in its holiness. The place stirred like a hive with the confluence of people, most of whom you knew. A nostalgic sensation washed over you.
“Could you wait here?” Sylvain asked, moving his head around and narrowing his eyes to figure out the identity of the people around you. “I have to go greet my parents.” He clarified.
“Do you want to go alone?”
“Yes”, he scratched the back of his head. “I’m sure you’ll meet them one day,” He winked, “but not today.”
The redhead faded into the crowd, while you waited in the courtyard right before the hall. You didn’t know what to do, so you sat over one of the low walls. You saw a patch of blonde hair, but you weren’t sure if it was Dimitri, so you didn’t move. Meanwhile, you recognised many of the passers-by, as they were family of your own classmates, but you doubted they’d remember you.
A deep voice called your name from the shadows of a nearby tree. You looked at the source of the sound.
“Hubert?” You blinked several times. That was a surprise.
“Indeed. I’m here to accompany Edelgard. What are you doing here?”, he asked. “I was certain that you didn’t like going to mass, and you have to ties with the Kingdom of Faerghus.”
“I’ve come with Sylvain”, you answered. Hubert’s eerie, yellow eyes were fixed on you, disturbing you.
“I see,” he commented. A small grimace that resembled a smile formed on his lips.
“He’ll come in a moment”, you forced a smile. You didn’t dislike Hubert, but he had an extraordinary ability to put your nerves on edge.
“I wanted to thank you for that favour,” he commented efficiently.
“That thing?”, you made an ‘o’ with your lips. “No need to thank me, Hubert. We’re… friends?”
“I prefer the term strategic partners”, he nodded.
“Okay, that name is fine too.”
“The reason I’m here is that I must inform you that the heir of the Gautier is engaged”, he said with solemnity.
“Excuse me?” Your little world shattered into pieces, broken. What the fuck was Hubert talking about?
“A month ago, his parents engaged him with one of the daughters of Mr. Rowe. Since you’re rather close with him, I thought you should know it.”
“... I see.”, you muttered, still shocked, trying to remain composure.
“I must go now,” he said, but he didn’t move. “I apologise for being the harbinger of bad news.”
“No need to worry, I just was surprised. See you around”, you waved at him, indicating that you’d be okay. Hubbert made a bow and vanished.
That was an unexpected turn of events. Your heartbeat was loud and fast, and you did your best to quickly blink away tears so that no one would notice. Despite the doubts, the second thoughts and all the things against you, you had thought you’d be in control whether you ended up with Sylvain or not. However, just like the rest of your life, it seemed that you were trapped in a book somebody else was writing. And now, in the place where your crush had begun, any hope you harboured had disappeared, just like a flame put out with a bucket of cold water.
You opened and closed your eyes rapidly to make the tears disappear and stood up. You breathed in and out in slow movements. Your body began relaxing.
Where was Sylvain? There was almost nobody else outside. The mass would begin in almost five minutes. He must have been talking with his parents, if what Hubert said was true. How were you in such a deep mess?
As if your thoughts had summoned him, Sylvain appeared from the lateral of the cathedral.
“Hey! You ready?” He sprang to you.
“Yes,” You tried to cover your face. You couldn’t let him see you in vulnerability.
“Okay, remember the plan.” He leaned into you, lowering his voice. “We sit on the back row, and 10 minutes before the end we get out. Then, we enter through the left door and hide in the confessionary booth. You go in first, then I follow you 3 minutes apart.”
You nodded and walked into the cathedral. You couldn’t look at him in the eyes. It was going to be a long evening.
--
The confessional booth was dark inside. There was a separation between the two parts that composed it, so the space was reduced. You sat on the wooden bench, thankful that it didn’t crack at all.
Sylvain had been right: nobody saw you. The confessionary itself, with an entry in the back, blocked the view of the lateral door to any onlooker that could have been there. On the other hand, you could see the people sitting in the left wing of the building through the lattice in a very convenient way. It was an excellent place to hide. The pulpit was far away, yet the voice of Archbishop Rhea was heard everywhere.
In spite of your relative security, this had to be by far the worst idea you had ever agreed on. Everything seemed doomed in that moment. You were sure in that moment that you’d get caught or expelled. You wanted to run away.
But right then, the back door silently opened and Sylvain entered the scene.
Sylvain’s wide shoulders almost didn’t fit through the entrance. You tried to move around to make some space for him, but it was in vain. You were thankful for the shadows, because your cheeks were growing redder and redder by the moment as his presence became more and more noticeable.
You didn’t know how exactly, but you ended up with your legs over his lap, your shoulders touching and your faces way too close for your liking. At least right then, when Hubert’s words were still fresh in your mind.
The choir started singing a tune, which indicated that the mass was approaching its end. Such pure voices were inappropriate for that moment you were sharing with Sylvain.
“I swear this was bigger before...” Sylvain whispered in your ear. It made your hair stand on end.
“Yes, when we were confessing, being 12 and younger, and being alone. Now it’s even more tiny because someone decided to have the both of us in here.” You grunted back, careful of not being heard.
His breath caressed your face, and his warmth radiated from his clothes. He was too comfortable, and you felt like you could be cuddled like this forever, while at the same time you wanted to run away from his touch. It occurred to you that he might have been a sorcerer, and that he had put you in an unavoidable spell. How else would all these feelings be so intense? It couldn’t be just love, right?
“I have something to tell you,” Sylvain said, but he wasn’t looking at you.
Was he going to tell you that he was engaged? Your breathing was erratic once more. You couldn’t flee, much to your dismay.
“What is it?”
“I…”, he cut himself.
“You…?” You were suspenseful, but you weren’t sure for what. Disappointment? Elation? Sylvain turned his head and fixed his pupils on yours.
“Be my girlfriend.” He managed to speak. You had no words. The world was definitely laughing at your face. “I’m in love with you and you’re in love with me. So why not? Isn’t it the logical thing to do?”
“It’s not that easy, Sylvain, despite how much I wish it was.” You sighed, at a loss for better words.
“Why not?” He pressed.
His heart dropped and a thousand thoughts rushed into his mind. He wanted to scream. How could he dare to think someone would genuinely love him? He got hurt, as it always happened. He shouldn’t have let his walls down, not even for you. He shouldn’t seek love, he shouldn’t have bothered. Everytime he considered himself worthy of love, the world around him would start crashing down. ‘You’re set yourself up for failure’, Sylvain kept repeating to himself. That’s what his father always told him when things didn’t turn out well. His father had been right. He was a failure. Even when his intentions were pure, he had already tainted his future. There was no redemption for him, right?
You picked up on the rising panic on Sylvain’s face, and you felt guilt inside your chest.
“I’m scared,” you said, trying to justify yourself. You believed it was the moment to be sincere. “I’m scared that you’re lying to use me. Or that you’d just get bored and throw me away.”
“I’d never do that to you,” he said, horrified by the fact that you wouldn’t accept he was telling the truth. “You’re not like the-”. He interrupted himself. “I see it now. I won’t stop repeating the same sentence, right? Now nobody will believe me.” Sylvain covered his face with his hand. “I cried the wolf way too many times…” He mutters.
“There’s something else,” you whispered.
“Just say it. It’s not gonna get worse at this point.” Sylvain chuckled somberly.
“You’re engaged.”
“It’s not something I chose. And it’s definitely not something I’m happy about.” He stated. Your words felt like a knife on Sylvain’s skin. “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought I’d get my parents to break the engagement first, but it’s taking longer than I’d expected.”
Out of the blue, Sylvain placed his hands around your face.
“Will you be my girlfriend? You didn’t say no. You know that I wouldn’t willingly propose to a girl when you are right here by my side. You haven’t seen me with another girl, have you?” He assured, a tinge of desperation in his voice.
“I don’t want to say no,” you answered, confused. “But- Sylvain, we’re doomed. We’re not meant to be.”
“I don’t care about fate. Does that mean you’d give me a chance?” His eyes were intense, hard and, all the same, warm and comforting, with the colour of liquid caramel. Sylvain threw all his doubts away for once, just wanting to be with you. You were one of the only things keeping him happy.
“I don’t know… Sylvain, I-”
“If you tell me I’ve still got a chance, I’m not going to give up. I love you.” He announced seriously. “Don’t get me wrong, if you really want me out of your life, I will do it, but otherwise…”
“This is a trap. How am I supposed to tell you looking at you in the eye that I don’t want to see you ever again?” You complained.
“I’m not a trickster, but I’m not gonna let you go either. I’ll have to convince you to be mine, then.”
“And how are you going to convince me?”, you furrowed your eyebrows.
“I already did the hardest part, I made you fall for me.” he smirked.
With that, you couldn’t resist the invisible force pulling yourself to him anymore. You crashed your lips against his and sat astride his lap. It was easy; you had already done it before. Sylvain was amazed, but he was not one to lose an opportunity. He kissed you back. Unable to control himself, his hands grabbed your waist, but he didn’t let himself explore. He was unsure of what was happening, but he was glad he’d got to taste your lips a second time.
You pressed your chest against his torso, while trying to hug him closer. His lips were soft and firm, his movements decided, and he knew what he wanted. Sylvain took advantage of a pause you took for breathing and let his tongue slide in. He was voracious and greedy in his attentions, and he did not let a single speck of your mouth untouched.
You were starting to feel dizzy and wanted much more, but you stopped.
“Everybody should be gone by now,” you muttered, his mouth still pressed to yours. He was panting, and you could guess what was on his mind – you could feel his excitement rising in his lap, after all.
“What was that for?”
“I felt like it.” you lovingly took off a lock of his hair from his forehead. “I’m not going to give you my heart just like that, but I swear to the Goddess, I can’t resist you.”
“Well, I’m not going to complain if you do it again, you know.” he smirked, releasing you from his grip. “After all, we have to make up for lost time.” He grabbed your wrist before letting you go completely, and lowered his tone. “But don’t get used to torturing me like this, or I’ll eventually lose my composure.”
“I’ll risk it,” you playfully answered while you distanced yourself.
You exited the booth without a single sound. The church was dark, since there was no light coming from the large windows anymore. The sun was gone. The place was creepy without a single source of brightness, and the stone was grey and cold.
Your steps followed Sylvain as he manoeuvred between the pews and towards the sets of stairs that led to the upper floor. You had not been there frequently, just once or twice to help Seteth move some books after class. Sylvain, however, knew the place like the palm of his hand due to Seteth’s insistence in correcting the mischievous redhead’s nature. Seteth never achieved his ambition, of course, but as a result, Sylvain could go to Rhea’s office with his eyes closed. And to Seteth’s one, to the cleaning supplies stall and many more rooms he had the pleasure to visit in his youth.
“Careful with the stairs, the stone is worn-out, and you can fall down”, Sylvain warned you.
There were bright coloured statues of the saints and Seiros splattered around, along with some old-looking tapestries that needed to wash. You couldn’t admire them for long, because before you could register that you were raiding the empty cathedral at 8 p.m., Sylvain had already stopped before a wooden door.
“It’s here”, he stated solemnly.
“Are you ready?”, you asked.
“More than ever”, he smiled and turned around the doorknob.
Of course, it was closed.
“Fuck”, he said.
“We should have expected that”, you rubbed your temple.
“Do you have a bobby pin?”
“Nope”, you hummed.
“Okay, time to go home I guess”, Sylvain suddenly laughed, and so did you. “It feels like we’ve gone crazy, right?”
“Oh my god, Sylvain, you thought about the confessional booth but it didn’t occur to you that the door might have been locked?”, you giggled.
“Shut up! You could have guessed it, too!”
“Four months ago I thought I’d never speak to you in my life, and look at us now”, you couldn’t help the laughs.
“What’s so fun?”, Seteth’s voice reverberated through the narrow corridor, shutting both your mouths at the same time.
He had appeared from a door right across you ‒ from his own office, you presumed. You were so nervous that you couldn’t say a word. It was surreal. Seteth didn’t look angry, he looked curious instead, something you weren’t used to. The years might have eased his nerves. But that fact didn’t make your position any easier.
“Look, Seteth, we’re not here for any funny business”, Sylvain defended himself and you. He stepped forwards out of habit.
“Because entering Lady Rhea’s office is not suspicious at all”, Seteth calmly replied.
“Okay, it seems suspicious. But it’s not what it seems,” he began scratching the back of his head. “I dragged her here and…”
You had relaxed enough to form coherent words. And you decided it was the moment to come out clean, because lies and secrets were just turning your life upside down. Furthermore, Seteth’s presence ignited an old feeling; the need to rely on a much more mature adult. You cut Sylvain’s words.
“Seteth, we’ve come here looking for some papers that belong to Lady Rhea”, you said loud and clear. “We were going to steal them.”
“What are you doing?” Sylvain asked incredulously.
“Seteth, we’ve been having the weirdest dreams”, you said. “And they won’t stop, to the point they seem real, like memories.” Seteth's disposition changed. He tensed, and his face paled. “We went to Byleth’s office and… we read a letter from the Archbishop. We know that those dreams happened, but we wanted to verify it and learn why everything’s happening. Otherwise, we’ll go mad.”
Seteth’s green eyes went from your figure to Sylvain’s and back to you again. It was visible that he was torn, choosing what to do. The older man sighed, defeated. He had lost from the beginning, because he couldn’t conceal his fear from such an unexpected accusation.
“It’s a long story”, Seteth said. “Come into my office and have some tea.”
He let you in the room, only lit with candles scattered around. You and Sylvain sat on a sofa that was behind the coffee table. Sylvain went to a desk filled with piles of papers, where there was an electric kettle and various wooden boxes.
“I’ve got ginger tea and a four-spice blend. There must be some sweet-apple blend too somewhere here, Flayn’s favourite”, Seteth offered.
“I don’t mind which one”, you said, smiling politely.
“We’ll have whatever you're having, Seteth”, answered Sylvain.
There was a prolonged silence. The only sounds were the boiling water of the kettle and Seteth rummaging in his drawers. A nice aroma of ginger slowly spread through the air.
The man of the church placed three teacups on the table and sat in the armchair right in front of you. You had never noticed, but Seteth was fit, way too much for a man of his profession. It made sense, though, when you remembered his expertise upon a wyvern.
“I’m sorry about the light. I never got around installing lamps, and I like the candles. They remind me of more familiar times…”, Seteth said as he poured you a cup of steaming tea. “Where should I begin?”, he inquired.
“Did those things really happen?”, Sylvain asked first.
“Yes”, Seteth nodded matter-of-factly. “All those memories you’ve recovered have happened in the past. Or… in our other lives, as I like to say.”
“Are those things going to happen again?”, it was your turn to ask, then. Seteth could sense the fear in your voice.
“We hope the war will never repeat itself”, he reassured you. “We don’t really know what the future has in store for us, but we’ve deemed it very unlikely. The events that have happened in this era are completely different from those in the past.”
“Who are ‘we’?” Said Sylvain. “If you don’t mind the questions…”
“The Nabateans,” Seteth answered dryly. He took a sip of his cup of tea. “I’m sure you remember, the Immaculate One back in the battle of Garreg Mach, right?”
“Some things are… vague for me”, Sylvain lamented, because you had told him the story a million of times, but he couldn’t recall the encounter.
“I remember it. It was Lady Rhea, right? I remember Edelgard telling us she was a monster controlling the continent from the shadows.” You explained.
“Yes… So-”
“Wait,” Sylvain interrupted Seteth. “Can you turn into a dragon?”
“Not me,” he denied. “It's been hundreds of years, but that’s not quite the topic of this conversation, is it?” The green-haired man reminded him.
“But how did it happen? How did we end up living so many lives?”, you interceded. “Why didn’t we… just die?”
“It’s Byleth’s doing”, Seteth replied. “Lady Rhea, back when Byleth was born in 1159, placed Sothis’ heart in his, hoping our mother would live again…”
“Sothis… the Goddess? She’s real?” Sylvain was dumbfounded. You looked at your cup of tea, then to Seteth, unable to articulate an answer. You were thankful for Seteth’s patience.
“Yes. This gave him great power, as he became one with the Goddess. Which granted Byleth as well the power of turning back the hands of time.”
“So he’s been turning back the time after the war of Fódlan?”, you exclaimed.
“Byleth wanted to save us all from the tragedy that devastated Fódlan. He kept turning back to the year 1180, yet one way or another, the string of events led to the same. So, at last, Byleth decided he needed to go way back, to the beginning of everything.” He paused, and saw your faces focused on every word that was escaping his mouth. He smiled to himself, remembering those times when you both were younger and listened to his lessons. Your faces might have changed, and your voices and bodies, but the eyes of his pupils were still the same. “Sothis, aware of the future, made her holy sacrifice to prevent Nemesis and his kind to take over. The history of Fódlan changed just enough to give us a rest...”
“So Byleth’s hair will be dark blue forever now?”, Sylvain asked.
“Yes. The professor is no longer the vessel of the Goddess,” Seteth clarified. “There are no longer any crests nor Hero’s relics. Therefore, technology has prospered, and your generation was born later ‒ although we don’t know exactly why this happened.” Seteth paused to sip his tea and hear your questions, but all the information had left you and Sylvain dumbfounded. Therefore, he continued his speech, somewhat relieved that he could finally tell a human all these burdens. “Flayn used to cry a lot, weeping about your absence,” he tenderly recalled. “Lady Rhea and I were sad too. We’ve been through a lot, all of us, after all…”
“I have another question, Seteth…”, Sylvain started. He was in deep thought, just like you. “Why is it that we’ve got our memories back?”
“I honestly have no idea…”, Seteth shook his head from side to side. “It could be because of your previous relationship. Back in the Officers Academy you were on... extremely good terms, as far as I know, so when I was your teacher in this high school it surprised me that you two never coincided. However, you’ve found your way next to each other, so perhaps some things are meant to be…” The older man trailed off, but continued. “Well, I don’t know. I know for us, the kin of Sothis, it’s probably due to our blood. For humans… it’s harder to tell.”
You looked at Sylvain from the corner of your eye, but you didn’t dare to face the ginger.
“Isn’t this a big secret?” you questions, amazed that Seteth ‒ and no other than Seteth himself ‒ was confiding to you such details.
“Yes, it is”, Seteth confirmed, narrowing his eyes.
“Why are you telling us, then?”
“Because, as I said, I appreciate you. Both of you. We’ve fought side by side, you’ve rescued Flayn numerous times”, he crossed his arms over his chest again. “Sylvain risked his life for Flayn numerous times, while you were also close to Byleth. It’s unnatural not to trust you...” Then, Seteth spoke once more. “But I must request that this reunion stays between us. Please. We don’t want any resentment to be born in such a peaceful time as this is. And I’ve broken so many rules right now that I’m frankly scared of what might happen.”
“Okay, we won’t say anything, Seteth”, you nodded. “I promise.”
“You have our word”, Sylvain accepted.
“Not even… Rhea or Byleth. If you don’t mind, this never happened.” Seteth touched his beard.
“Wait, Seteth, I still have Professor Byleth’s letter”, you said, worried. “He must have noticed it went missing…”
“Don’t worry about that, Byleth is a disaster. He came by this morning, I’ll tell him he dropped it and that he should be more careful”, Seteth smiled.
“Thank you, Seteth. For real”, Sylvain said. And you saw for the first time in his eyes the lightest shadow of hope.
23 notes · View notes