aware of his bisexuality steve (steddie, buckingham)
“Is that a hickey?” Comes out of Steve’s mouth without permission. But there it is, bright purple and red against the slope of her neck. She’s been walking kind of funny this morning, too. He’d assumed her period came early, but… “Rob, did you—“
Eddie fumbles the coffee mug he was pulling down. Chrissy freezes, face turning white with fear. Robin whips around, face bright red, and slaps a hand over her neck.
“Bathroom!” She yelps. “Bathroom now!”
“Wait,” Eddie says, setting the mug down with trembling hands. “It was me. Sorry, man.”
Steve stares at him, unimpressed. Why the fuck would he lie about—
He looks at Chrissy again, who takes a nervous step back, and it clicks.
“Right,” he says, nodding quickly. “You. You gave Robin a hickey. Had totally awesome sex that she didn’t even tell me about.” He directs that last bit at Robin pointedly. He told her almost immediately when he lost his guy-ginity. Traitor. “Yep. Sure. Got it.”
Eddie blinks, confused. Robin buries her face in her hands.
“Oh my god, calm down,” she groans. “That’s not going to work. Steve’s cool.”
“Cool?” Chrissy asks, still looking ready to bolt.
“Super cool,” he assures her. “The coolest. So incredibly cool, even if my best friend didn’t even tell me when she lost her virginity.”
“Steve!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he says. “But I am going to need details, Buckley. We can go over what worked, and what needs more oomph.”
“Oh my god, can we talk about this anywhere else,” Robin groans, at the same time Eddie asks, “What, so you can get off on it later?”
“What,” Steve says.
“You think two girls are hot, is that it?” He’s got a sneer on his face now, but Steve’s more observant than Dustin gives him credit for. Even if he wasn’t, it’d be hard to miss how hard his hands are shaking, the nervous tilt to his mouth.
“Ew.” Steve’s face screws up. “Dude, no. It’s Robin.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Robin breaks in, from where she’s started comforting Chrissy. “You thought I was hot for at least a summer.”
His mouth drops open in betrayal. “We agreed to never talk about that again!”
“Can’t help being sexy,” she coons. Chrissy giggles wetly. “You wanna get married, Harrington? Have my babies? Stay home and raise six little nuggets while I bring home the bread?”
“I hate you,” he informs her. “Hate you so much. We’ll have a nice, heterosexual wedding and share a sad, heterosexual kiss, and you’ll carry me over the threshold of our nice, heterosexual house, and we’ll have boring, heterosexual sex that gives us nice, heterosexual babies, because we are so heterosexual and happy in our suburburban house in our nice little heterosexual town.”
He’s honestly kind of proud of himself for saying heterosexual so many times. Usually he fumbles words with that many syllables, especially after that many times in a row.
Chrissy is outright laughing, now, endearing little snorts making their way between giggles. Eddie is looking between them like they’re a puzzle he can’t piece together. Robin grins.
“I’ll cuck you with the secretary.”
“Not if I cuck you first. You’ll be away all day in that office of yours, and I need someone big and strong to carry all the new furniture I ordered.”
“I knew it! I knew Timmy wasn’t mine!”
“Oh, but I couldn’t help myself,” he swoons. “Mark was just so sweet, with his bulging biceps and hand flexes, all hot and sweaty from helping poor little me while you were away! You know I’m weak to curly hair and brown eyes, Rob, how’s a man supposed to resist?”
“Fag,” she says, not without affection.
“Dyke,” he shoots back.
“Cocksucker.”
“Carpet—“
“Okay,” Eddie breaks in, clapping his hands. He and Robin both startle, and so does Chrissy from where she’s been watching them like a particularly interesting tennis match. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Robin lost her virginity and didn’t even tell me,” Steve says immediately, like he’s tattling to the principal.
“Steve doesn’t seem to understand the concept of waiting,” Robin retorts.
“I told you when I had gay sex,” he whines, and Eddie chokes. “I hate you. See if I ever give you tips again.”
“Oh, is that what you meant?” Chrissy asks. “Please don’t stop. They were good tips.”
Robin flushes all the way down to her toes.
“You like boys?” Eddie wheezes.
“Oh,” Steve blinks. “Yeah? I thought you knew.”
“You thought I—how would I know?”
The fuck is that supposed to mean? Steve’s been flirting with him for months!
“Robin always says we can sense each other! You sensed her.”
“You told him?” Eddie’s mouth drops open, and Robin looks sheepish.
“She didn’t have to,” Steve snarks. “You’re flagging in Hawkins, man. Was I supposed to miss it?”
“You know what flagging is?”
“Again, in case you missed it, I fuck men.”
“Fuck,” Eddie mutters. “Fuck! Christ, I can’t believe this. You’re, like, the epitome of heterosexual. I spent half of high school having to hear about how much pussy you were getting. Why are you not straight?”
“Wow, Eddie,” he deadpans. “Are you saying just because I like men and woman, I’m not queer enough? That’s kind of homophobic of you, man.”
“Yeah, Eddie, wow,” Robin says. “I thought you were better than this.”
“Fuck off,” Eddie says. “I feel like I need to lie down. My entire worldview just shattered.”
“I have a couch?” Chrissy offers shyly. “Or a bedroom, if you need a minute away.” Fuck, Steve kind of adores her. Especially since she’s apparently vicious n bed, if the five other hickies he counts just from Robin bending down a little to whisper in her ear are any indication. Good for her.
“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Robin says, with a glint in her eye that means he’s either going to love or hate what comes next. “If it helps, Steve’s never fucked a man in his life.”
Eddie’s brow furrows, looking between the two of them. “So…you’re just making fun of me?”
He looks a little angry now, and Steve can’t make heads or tails of this conversation because, “What the hell, Rob, yes I have—“
“Oh, so suddenly you’re the one doing the fucking?”
“Stop making fun of me for taking it!”
Eddie lets out an honest to god moan that he immediately slaps his hand over his mouth to cover up. “Right,” he says fervently. “Okay. I need to lie down, like, for real.”
They watch him stride down the hall, so fast he’s almost running, and slam the door closed behind him.
“I could totally top,” he mutters to Robin as something that sounds vaguely like muffled screaming echoes down the hall. “I top girls all the time. It’s not my fault prostates are a gift from God.”
“Uh, you top because all the girls you fuck are from small town Indiana. If one of them brought out the strap you’d drop to your knees so fast—“
“That’s—I like topping!”
“Your favorite position is cowgirl. Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”
“I will show Chrissy your baby pictures,” he hisses. Robin makes a face at him. Chrissy nods excitedly from where she’s still tucked under Robin’s arm.
“Oh what’s that?” Robin practically shouts. “You like being pressed against walls and ravished? You want someone to tie you up and have their filthy way with you? Is that what you said, Steve?”
Another noise from the bedroom. He narrows his eyes at her. “What are you doing?”
“Helping,” she says sweetly. “You’re both hopeless.”
“I told you he’s shy!”
“Eddie?” Chrissy asks. “Shy?”
“Yeah, okay, I was confused too, but I figured it was the romance! He told me he hasn’t actually been in a relationship before, I assumed he was nervous to take that step.”
“Yeah, but dingus,” Robin says sweetly. “You’re missing a puzzle piece here. He thought you were straight. He thought he was flirting with his straight best friend he didn’t have a chance in hell with, and then he finds out that said best friend likes taking it up the ass and men with brown eyes.”
“Oh,” Steve says, realization dawning. “Oh, fuck. What if he doesn’t like me like that?”
Robin smacks the back of his head. “Why are you stupid?”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Chrissy says. “Like, really don’t have to worry about that.”
“I’m not coming over tonight,” Robin says. “I’m gonna stay with Chrissy again. Er…if that’s okay?”
“That sounds amazing.” Chrissy beams, and Robin turns red again.
“Yeah, I’m going to stay with Chrissy again tonight. You are going to invite Eddie to stay the night when he gets done with his little crisis, and then we’re getting lunch at the diner tomorrow and you can tell me about it before our shift.”
“Right,” Steve says. “Right, I can do this. I’ve invited guys over before, how hard can it be? It’s just Eddie. But that was hotel rooms, not my house and my bedroom with my shitty wallpaper. And it’s Eddie. Fuck, what if I’m shit at it? Robin, what if I’m actually bad at sex and everyone who’s ever said I was good was lying because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Oh my god, I’m totally bad at sex.”
“Woah, dingus, slow down. I think we took the mind meld too far, you’re turning into me.”
“If it helps, I don’t think you’re bad at sex,” Chrissy says. Steve and Robin look at her, and she flushes. “Because of the tips! Not because—I’ve never slept with you, but some of my friends did, and I got three orgasms out of last night, so…”
“Oh thank God,” he breathes. “I was worried for a minute.” Then he raises an eyebrow at Robin, and holds out his hand for a high five. She slaps it, begrudgingly proud of herself, and then takes the hand to pull him into a headlock that’s honestly more of a hug than anything.
“You’re fine,” she whispers in his ear. “You’re great at sex, as you keep telling me. What’s more, you’re funny, charming, handsome, brave, caring—“
“Aww, Robin, are you getting sappy on me?”
“Plus Eddie literally moaned in front of you when he found out you bottomed. I really don’t think there’s a way to fuck that up.”
Steve grins. “He did do that. I’m going to make so much fun of him later.”
“So,” Eddie says with a smirk, “men with brown eyes?”
“Hey man, don’t look at me. Blame Jonathan.”
Now Eddie looks stunned, mouth dropping open. “Byers?” He says, sounding betrayed. “You have a crush on Byers of all people?”
Steve feels offended on Jonathan’s behalf. “What’s that supposed to mean? Jonathan’s a good guy!”
“I guess.”
“What do you mean you guess? He’s sweet, passionate, good with kids, nice eyes. Can pack a punch. I mean, what’s not to like?”
“Uh, didn’t he steal your girlfriend?”
He waves that off. “That was, like, years ago, man. We’re cool now.”
“Right, okay,” Eddie mutters. “Well have fun with Byers, I guess.”
It clicks. “Oh,” he says. “Oooh. You’re jealous.”
Eddie splutters. “Jealous? I’m not—I don’t—you’re jealous!”
“Oh, am I?”
“Yes,” Eddie says resolutely, not looking at him.
“Right,” Steve agrees. “Well, if I am jealous, maybe I should know that I got over Jonathan years ago, and have since moved on to brighter, hopefully more attainable pastures than my ex’s ex.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“A different man with brown eyes?” He suggests. “Who is also good with kids, and passionate, and…” he trails off, suddenly realizing all those times Robin made fun of him might not be based on nothing. “Oh my god, I have a type. Shit, I have to tell Robin she was right.”
“I figured that was a common occurrence.”
“Shut up. Where was I going with this? I had a point.”
“You were telling me how awesome I am?”
“Oh, suddenly it’s you we’re talking about?”
“I mean,” suddenly Eddie looks shy, and Steve can’t help but think even with the change in context he might have been right when he told Robin Eddie was nervous about being in a real, romantic relationship, “isn’t it?”
He feels himself smile, slow and wide and probably more revealing than he means it to be. “Yeah,” he says, in a tone he knows Robin would call soppy, “it is.”
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Greater Sumeru Autism Polycule
This started off as a joke and sorta spiraled outta control just a teensy tiny lil bit. Honestly I would’ve liked to have slapped a bit more on there but uh. Paper space was limited. Transcript below readmore because I know my handwriting can be difficult for some to read? (Plus extra character interpretations/headcanons in italics.)
Disaster MLM half:
Cyno - Highly competitive, except towards Nari, who he practically reveres.
Tighnari - Designated mom friend. (Tighnari is a master of knowing when to be strict and when to be soft. He doesn’t take crap from anyone, but he’s also got a very kind and caring side that encourages others to open up/be vulnerable to him. He makes sure people are taken care of.)
Alhaitham - (He is often misunderstood by others as looking down on them and does nothing to correct their misconceptions or to try and make friends, so I imagine he may have been a bit surprised to basically wake up one day and find himself surrounded by people who look past that and see him for who he is, given that he is probably Teyvat’s most introverted person. He tends to analyze and pick apart the people he likes, like he’s examining them in a petri dish, and if he cares for them he will go out of his way to do silent favors. Not one to express affection verbally (I don’t think he knows how to communicate in a way that isn’t biting and critical,) he lets his actions speak for themselves, and if the other person doesn’t pick up on it, then whatever.)
Kaveh - (An emotional wreck who gives and gives and gives and gives and gives. The people who really stick in his life in the end though are the ones who support him, rather than the other way around, even though Kaveh does his best to try and keep his multitude of problems to himself.)
Kaveh and Alhaitham: Friends to enemies to roommates to lovers? (It’s complicated.) (Tsundere x Kuudere. Teyvat’s messiest gays, hands down. There is so much more to say about them than I have the room for here.)
Cyno and Tighnari: Anthro guy and his furry boyfriend, sweet and spend as much time together as possible, co-parenting Collei. (They’re very domestic with each other. Cyno lowkey lives for competition and usually bonds with others through it, but he doesn’t really do that so much with Nari, their relationship seems to be the exception. Perhaps because Cyno thinks so highly of Tighnari and has such a tremendous amount of trust for him that he just sort of believes Tighnari will succeed at whatever he does.)
Kaveh and Cyno: Met through Tighnari, and like each other a lot. Unbeknownst to Kaveh though, Cyno sees him as a comedic rival. (And thinks he’s very pretty.) (Kaveh is unaware of this. Both the Cyno thinking he’s pretty bit, and the fact that Cyno sees him as a comedic rival. Kaveh doesn’t even try to be funny, his rants about his roommate just sort of are by default.)
Cyno and Alhaitham: Like two tomcats having a standoff (homoerotic edition.) (Haitham is not typically a competitive person, but his respect and admiration for Cyno makes him sort of an exception, and each of them r e a l l y bring out the fight in each other. I think of their relationship as being much like the one between a shounen protag (in this case Cyno) and their rival (in this case Alhaitham.) They challenge each other, bring out the best in each other and have fun in the process, and form a close bond built on a deep level of mutual respect. A.k.a if Cyno is Yugi-coded, then Alhaitham is his Kaiba.)
Alhaitham and Tighnari: Met through Kaveh, lowkey awkward and shy towards each other in a way neither really expresses. They don’t quite fully know what to make of the other, but they do like each other. (Could become something more…?) (They seem to interact the least in the group, and Tighnari’s perception of Alhaitham is probably effected by Kaveh’s endless ranting and venting, but they’re both friendly towards each other and seem to like each other. But I’d like to see them interact more directly with each other. Plus - sometimes Alhaitham needs to be told he’s being a prideful idiot - and I think Tighnari’s the only person in his life who would be able to calmly break down and explain why he’s being an idiot, and Alhaitham would be very likely to listen to him.)
Tighnari and Kaveh: Long time besties, Nari is Kaveh’s designated venting buddy and his last anchor to sanity. (Tighnari is also particularly gentle with and supportive of Kaveh.)
Wholesome WLW half:
Dehya - Tripped and ended up with three girlfriends, and brought them all together. (Dehya probably gets propositions from a lotta starstruck swooning ladies, but it’s always while she’s on the job, and she’s a professional. Plus, I hc her as demiromantic, I just get the vibe that she’d only really want to date people she already knows well. She has a very tough reputation, but is very tender with her three weed smoking gfs.)
Dunyarzad - Is very active during her Elezar recovery and often travels to visit her various girlfriends and likes to bring them gifts. (I think she loves nature, and once she’s able to more freely move and explore without the threat of being locked away, I think nothing could stop Dunyarzad from going to see as much of Sumeru as she can. Dehya often accompanies her.)
Nilou - This is what punk looks like in Sumeru. (Local artist down to overthrow the government at the drop of a hat, is stuck in a constant struggle against the Akademiya to have the right to exist as herself publicly. Nilou’s incredibly badass, actually.)
Candace - Calm and comforting, Candace herself is like an oasis in the desert to those close to her.
Dehya and Dunyarzad: Lady and her knight romance. (Their adoration for each other is clear. Dehya’s too professional to date her employer, but all bets are off once she quits.)
Dehya and Candace: Two of the desert’s toughest warriors being ridiculously cute and wholesome together.
Dehya and Nilou: Dehya not only has a lot of respect for Nilou’s nonconformity and resistance, but also finds her adorable. Takes her out often.
Dunyarzad and Nilou: Long standing friends, now go on trips together often. (Nilou’s schedule is very flexible, so she’s often down to travel with Dunyarzad at the drop of a hat, where Dehya is sometimes preoccupied with a job. Plus, they totally both end up planning future Sabzeruz festivals together.)
Dunyarzad and Candace: Met through Dehya and quickly became close. Dunyarzad has a type, and it’s sweet yet badass women.
Candace and Nilou: Nilou’s always the most successful at getting Candace to step away from her duties in Aaru village and go have fun with everyone. (The others really don’t know how she does it.)
Aaaand the couple of bridges between:
Kaveh and Nilou: Unbreakable bond of the only two art kids in Sumeru. (Pls hoyo I need them to interact in canon.)
Alhaitham and Dehya: Alhaitham has a one-sided crush on Dehya, (and occasionally invites her to TCG nights,) while Dehya thinks he’s the weirdest friend she has. (I hc Alhaitham as the kind of bisexual guy who’s 99% attracted to men with like One Buff Woman thrown in there because. Frankly. I think it adds a really funny extra dimension to their relationship. Haitham has never met anyone as forthright and honest as Dehya, and admires that about her. Dehya would never reciprocate his feelings in a million years, she values him as a friend, but also finds him snooty and insufferable at times, and struggles to understand him largely because of the vast cultural/communication style gap between Akademiya scholars and Eremite mercenaries, though this is somewhat bridged by the fact that both of them are extremely honest, blunt, and upfront about what they think. Despite their differences, they are a fun duo.)
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