#side note: pretty sure y'all also queer as fuck

[c4i-r0]

i am but one victim of many to the Community (2009) to Mythic Quest (2020) pipeline

#now i KNOW i'm not the only one #where are you fuckers #come out come out wherever you are #side note: pretty sure y'all also queer as fuck #exhibit a: me again #nbc community #community nbc #mythic quest

[aroaceconfessions]

okay so. first of all just wanna get this out of the way: jesus christ are people really turning the 'asexuals invading denmark' joke into an antisemitic thing? can i like get a source on that? not saying i don't believe you i just. *deep deep sigh* people can be the fucking worst ):

with that taken care of, uh, hi! i spent many years identifying with asexuality, until it turned out that i really was a late bloomer (dysphoria and growing up in a repressive cult will do that to you). regardless, I continued to stand in solidarity with the aspec community for several reasons.

(side note: the asexuals are 100% correct - sexual attraction is wild af and while it's certainly a thing that i enjoy now, i also would not be bothered in the odd hypothetical scenario of magically becoming asexual again for no reason. y'all valid as fuck and while i can't speak for aromantics, i'm sure that the sentiment extends to romantic attraction as well.)

and then, just the other day, i was talking about how when i like someone as more than a friend, it's usually not quite to the point of romantic attraction unless/until i know it's reciprocated. like, the ground is fertile for attraction to grow, but it's locked behind a need for the feelings to be mutual. and then i said 'hey wait a minute-' and looked up recipromantic to check. and wouldn'tcha know it there it was - turns out i've been on the aromantic spectrum this whole time!

like it's no wonder i had a hard time figuring out if i experienced romantic attraction back when i was ace - i never got the chance to experience being liked back, so it never happened, but i also craved that kind of relationship and knew, deep down, that at minimum the potential for attraction was there. and goddammit it's the same problem over again - these things are so rarely talked about irl that if you don't spend any significant amount of time in the corresponding spaces, then you're pretty unlikely to stumble across the terminology to describe your experiences yourself.

as it is, i probably wouldn't have even questioned my romantic attraction if it wasn't for the time i spent within the asexual community and the aspec community as a whole. i just have such a warm fondness in my heart for the aspec community and all they've done for me, for the queer community as a whole, and for humanity's understanding of the nuance in how we view each other.

it feels wonderful to be back in such an amazing community. it's also pretty sick to be an arospec polyam person so i get to give two middle fingers to amatonormativity at the same time (:

(also would like to point out as another side note that love is not what makes us human nor what is necessary to maintain status as a full human, it's kindness. it's always been kindness. loveless ppl i wish nothing but kindness for you bc god knows with the way ur treated that u could use it. i also do have love for y'all; even if that doesn't mean much to you, i hope u know that i'll always do my best to ensure that it translates into kindness for u bc that is far more important than love)

Submitted March 29, 2023

The Ace Couple podcast has an episode that goes in depth about the antisemitism.

#aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #polyamory #polyamorous #questioning #anitsemitism

[dont-offend-the-bees]

The Elusive 80s AU? 👀

The Elusive 80s AU is my BABY, or more accurately mine and @kieren-fucking-walker's baby. She hails from the peak of my Dirk Gently days, and she WILL be finished one day because she deserves to spread her wings and fly.

Essentially, it's a year — September to September, 1986 to '87 — in the life of Todd Brotzman; a very grouchy and jaded little trans dude, currently and for the last several years working as a bartender in a grotty lil gay bar in New York (owned by 80s Farah in her power suits *blows kiss* for the lesbians). He's content enough with his lot in life and his scrappy little circle of queers, but he's also worn down by life and the endless day-to-day of it all. But '86/7 might just be the year that gets him out of his funk, because he's about to get one major life shake-up in the form of fresh-out-of-the-closet Dirk Gently, who stumbles into the Electric Rhino with with wide eyes and boundless enthusiasm and is gonna suck Todd — and probably most of his little club family, too — into his chaotic vortex of self-discovery whether they like it or not.

I've written *checks notes* two and a half chapters? And there'll be 12/13 plus an epilogue. All the rest are planned out, I just have to knuckle down and write! I'm probably gonna turn my attention to it next time I do a DGHDA rewatch! It's gonna be mostly on the hopeful/upbeat side but with a lot of sadness kinda underneath in the bones, given the time period and some of the backstories and the abundance of not-actually-unrequited love. So, SO much pining, a STUNNING lack of communication, and wall-to-wall Vibes: currently the plan is that when we feel ready enough to go with the chapters, we'll start posting one a month in the month they take place, with accompanying blogs and playlists curated by Kieren — who's also doing the buttload of research into this thing that helped me take it from a few scattered paragraphs of ideas into a full story with a fleshed-out world!

I have no idea when it's gonna be ready, but y'all won't be.

Ask me about my WIPS!

Pretty sure I've posted bits and pieces before, but here's a lil snippet from chapter one! ⬇

He’d just resolved to go track down Estevez when the empty stretch of bar in front of him was, suddenly and enthusiastically, very much occupied.

Todd flinched in surprise, blinking at the guy who’d come seemingly out of nowhere. “Uh. Hi.”

The guy grinned at him. He was average height- which is to say annoyingly taller than Todd- and slim, and he had floppy reddish brown hair that he kept pushing out of his eyes with restless hands (when they weren’t drowning in the sleeves of his huge mustard turtleneck). 

Then, bewilderingly, he forewent a hello and greeted Todd with a simple, chirpy: “I’m gay!”

“...Okay,” Todd said, almost as slow as his answering nod. “Cool. I mean, this is a gay club, so…”

“I know — it’s just so nice to finally say it!” the guy said, giving Todd a better preview of his accent — British. Incredibly so. He dropped onto a vacant barstool and thrust his hand out across the counter. “Dirk Gently!”

Huh. Was this, like… a thing in England? Did they just walk into bars and stores and shake everyone’s hands? Todd took the hand without thinking, giving it one or two confused shakes. “Uh. Todd.”

“Nice to meet you, Todd,” Dirk said, drawing out his name like he was trying out the feel of it. He didn’t seem to be about to let go of Todd’s hand any time soon. “I like your make-up!”

“...Thanks?” It wasn’t anything special, just a bit of smokey eye. That he ‘put on’ largely out of convenience because he couldn’t be bothered to wash off last night’s eyeliner. He looked down at his hand. Still being rhythmically pumped up and down. “Um. Can I have that back?”

“Oh! Of course, yes,” Dirk said, releasing him sheepishly, and folding his hands on the bar. “Sorry. Bit excited. This is my first time at one of these!”

“You don’t say,” Todd smirked, shaking his head. He hadn’t seen anyone pass through here with that wide-eyed wonder in quite some time. “Congrats on coming out. How long’s it been?”

“Just a week, give or take,” Dirk said, fiddling with his hair again. He seemed to have an almost compulsive habit of tucking it behind his ears. “Didn’t go down very well, I’m afraid, but such is life! Anyway, I’m here now and that’s what matters, so if you don’t mind, good barkeep — I’d like the gayest drink you have to offer!”

“Right,” Todd said bemusedly, throwing down his cloth. “Coming right up.”

He hesitated a moment. There was obviously no point in asking the guy to be more specific- he’d be surprised if he knew any cocktails by name at all, let alone by ‘gayness’. But he was new to the scene, and probably not difficult to please. Something pink would probably do the trick. Todd set about making him a cosmopolitan while Dirk chattered on, seemingly unconcerned with whether Todd was actually listening or not.

“You know, this is the third club I’ve been in tonight? First time I’ve actually had a chance to sit down, though, the others were rather busy — and, I must say, decidedly less welcoming. I understand there’s a lot of, well, unpleasantness about at the moment but that’s no excuse for rudeness! Well, perhaps it wasn’t all rudeness — I am a bit new to this scene, after all, so, um, perhaps this sort of thing is standard fare for… our sort? Or my sort, sorry, I suppose I didn’t even ask about your — well, I mean, I assume you’re somewhere —? Nevermind. Anyway, yes, very strange. I’m not sure, I was always told it was uncouth to grab at a woman’s bottom without her consent — not that I ever wanted to grab at a woman’s bottom, but my parents always seemed to think that might be something I’d take an interest in, but I digress — and I’d have thought the same would go for men but perhaps I was mistaken? I can’t say I cared for it — I’m not averse to arse-grabbing, per se, but I would much rather experience it on my own terms. I think. Actually, I’m not sure what my feelings are towards a lot of things, seeing as I’ve not had much call to experience them first hand — but I can’t wait to find out!”

Todd snorted, shaking his head. Man, this guy could talk. He seemed like the type to just vocalise every thought that passed through his head, regardless of relevance to the topic of conversation. He may need to work on that; there were certain things about their lives that they didn’t want to be sharing with the general public. But Todd decided to let him have his fun for now. After all, it was his first night. He’d learn all the hard stuff soon enough. “Here you go,” he said, putting the glass down in front of Dirk — with just a slight flourish, for his sake, obviously. Might as well give him the full experience. He considered the half-question buried in Dirk’s monologue, and decided to offer up a half-answer. “And I’m bi, by the way.”

Dirk’s brow furrowed. “‘Bye-bye’? Are you going somewhere?”

“No, I’m… I’m bi. Y’know. Bisexual?”

“Oh!” Dirk sighed, sounding weirdly relieved. “Oh, well good! I wouldn’t want you to leave on my account — truth be told, Todd, you’re the friendliest face I’ve seen all night!”

Todd blinked. That… was not something he got very often. “Uh… thanks?”

But Dirk wasn’t listening — he was immersed in admiring his pretty pink cosmo with lots of ooh-ing and ahh-ing that, on anyone else, would have looked ridiculous and patronising. On Dirk, though… well, it was still ridiculous. But it was also sincere, and that was something Todd didn’t see too much round here. It was kinda refreshing.

Maybe that’s what moved Todd to smile, gesture to the drink and say, gruffly: “Drink up; it’s on the house.”

Yeah, he probably couldn’t afford to be slinging free drinks at random nerds on their first night out. But he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t worth it for the luminous smile he got in return. 

Too bad he couldn’t pay his bills with smiles. What a nice world that would be.

Who was he kidding, he’d still be broke as shit.

#dghda #dirk gently's holistic detective agency #brotzly #dirk gently #todd brotzman #my fanfic #80s AU #thank you for the ask!! #answers

[theravenkin]

the foxes and social media pt. 2:

so most college sports teams, if they have social media like tiktok, post edits of really good plays, some boring game day hype stuff, etc; some of the teams that get less publicity have some more relaxed, easy going content. now in my head, exy is culturally equivalent to college football--so exy teams usually have pretty tame social media, countdowns to big games and clips of nice plays.

but the thing i find hilarious about the foxes is that there are only two staff members, wymack and abby. most high school teams have at least three or four coaches, big college sports like football will have a lot more, and teams which receive a lot of publicity will have PR people and social media coordinators. but the foxes? nah. guess who their PR/social media coordinator is? nicky hemmick, everyone.

nicky (and dan, since they already make a bunch of tiktoks together) make a team account (and somehow it gets verified eventually??? who is in charge here)

they aren't too careful about what they post--there are already plenty of rumors and criticism surrounding them, so who cares? what could be worse than neil on press duty? wymack also doesn't really give a fuck--when they ask him for permission he just wants them to stop talking to him asap so he's like yeah whatever sure (without knowing what the consequences of this might be)

the first tiktok on the account is a "full house"- style introduction of all the foxes, many of them looking beyond irritated and uncomfortable--but nicky and dan make sure they get everyone's consent to post it; they won't post anything without the consent of the people that are in it. somehow, everyone says yes--none of them really care, and/or don't think anybody will see it.

it blows up. the foxes' fanbase is way bigger than they think it is, especially after their victory against the ravens and all the publicity around neil's past. everyone on campus who has tiktok sees it. it makes its way to exy fan accounts on instagram and twitter. nicky and dan are kinda scared, because agh we put andrew minyard all over the internet will he murder us?? but they're also super excited because people care???? people like them that much????

unfortunately, the debut post causes a bit of a stir in the ever-present exy/palmetto state discourse. people start up the criticism and the rumors and the hate. so in response, the second tiktok on the team account is dan and nicky strutting around the locker room lip syncing "rumors" by lizzo and cardi b with some flawless transitions, it looks so professional. they address some of the rumors (some of them true) that have plagued the foxes for years: dan was a stripper? yep. kevin day has never been skiing? you bet. this video gets them featured in the Palmetto State student-run news/gossip accounts, and then it's featured on certain exy blogs--it of course causes more of a stir than the last one.

one of the hate comments on the second video says something homophobic in response to nicky's flamboyance in the videos. he responds to the comments with a video he and dan convinced matt to star in:

nicky: nah, all of us foxes are straight, super straight, no gay shit. right matt?

matt: yeah, bro, super hetero.

*intense eye contact*

*pretend to lean in for a kiss*

(also, side note: i have another hc nicky's flirting is completely returned by matt because he knows it's not serious, that he would never come between matt and dan, and they all think it's hilarious)

the exy dude bros are Not Happy--so everything is going according to plan

that video's comments are filled with an equal amount of both raging homophobia and wild support from fans who are queer or allies. by now, the other foxes are having fun with this account, too.

to be continued, this already got WAY too long but trust me there's more (lmk if y'all even want more, this took me way too long to put in coherent words 😭)

#aftg #andriel #neil josten #jean moreau #jeremy knox #usc trojans #andreil #aftg shitpost #the foxes #kevin day #jerejean #all for the game #all for the game hc #aftg hc #dan wilds #renee walker #allison reynolds #renison #matt boyd #wymack #david wymack #coach wymack #palmetto state foxes #stickball #all for the gay #psu foxes #tfc #the foxhole court #trk

[thewistlingbadger]

Mixed Signals

Summary: Emily and Spencer are trying to see if Derek likes Spencer. Derek is trying to figure out if he's gay with the help from Penelope. The 4 of them come to the realization that they are NOT on the same page at a club, where Emily and Spencer make out to see if Derek will get jealous.

CW: Platonic Spencer/Emily, friends who kiss, Derek has bi panic, gender non-conforming Spencer Reid, intimate friendship, inappropriate language, kiss in the rain, miscommunication, love confessions, first kiss. Y'all asked for me to post the stuff i got in my notes so here ya go. Enjoy.

Okay. So Emily and Spencer definitely came to the club with something up their sleeve. Spencer had always kept quiet about his crush on Derek. After all, the year was 2008. Gay marriage wasn't legal and if you were out you could be called slurs, or worse. And in the workplace? You could be terminated. The only person he ever came close to telling was Elle, but then one moment she was here, the next, gone.

Emily tried her best to be shocked at the news. It takes one to know one, she told herself. But nevertheless she made sure that he knew she was a safe space and that all she cared about was his comfort. He ranted to her about gender dysphoria and wanting to tap into his feminity, but being too afraid to do so. He asked her if she thought Derek liked him back, and tonight, they would find out.

Everyone knew Emily Prentiss was a lesbian. She made it no secret, while also making sure you minded your own business. She read queer romance novels on the jet, there was a pride flag on her desk and if you asked her what was on her calendar, she would tell you next Wednesday she had a meeting with her local LGBTQ+ advocates and that there would be a march next month, if you wanted to come.

In the same breath, she had no problem kissing Reid. They both knew that there was nothing romantic about the them. Kissing just...helped them both I guess. When Spencer would come over because he was having nightmares, Emily would scoot over in bed and make room for him. When she would get up around noon, Spencer would wrap his arms around her and kiss the side of her head as she brushed her teeth. Or when she could tell he was getting overwhelmed, she'd pepper his face with kisses till he'd be calm again.

Most people said I love you in words but for them, they had heard those words growing up from the mouths that did not mean it. Their kisses were tangible, real. They said I love, care, and respect you without even needing to pronounce a syllable.

Everyday, Derek came crying for help in Peneople's corner. He had never considered being anything but straight but his pretty boy got him second guessing himself. Derek didn't have the luxury of being able to figure himself out while young. And now that he was an adult, an established FBI agent, he feared it was too late. Penelope was his shoulder to cry on, filling his ears with positive affirmations. Giving him flyers to queer support groups and telling him when pride would be rolling into town.

"What if I don't like men and I just like pretty boy? Do I even like him like that? What if I'm just overthinking it?" "Well then you'll find out tonight." Peneople said with a wink. She ordered another round as Spencer and Emily found their way to the booth.

Derek tried to act normal but he couldn't help but notice how smug the both of them. Like they were inside a joke, and Derek wasn't. It made something rise in Derek, he just didn't know what.

Spencer still couldn't piece it all together. The looks, the touchs, the names, they had to mean something. Despite contrary belief, he wasn't all that oblivious. He knew Derek had been flirting with him for years. But why? Derek was always pulling girls whenever they went out to places like this and he never had shown interest in men. So why would he like Reid? Although, thought of Spencer being the only male that Derek was attracted to made his heart flutter, he knew it was unrealistic.

"Hey. Wanna dance?" Emily said putting her hand on his shoulder. He smiled. She always knew how to do that, pull him out of thought. As he got up he started to think about all the things he loved about her. Her gentleness without making him feel babied, her understanding without having the ability to understand what he was going through, the way she knew things about him that he didn't tell her that only he knew.

Like how he didn't need to drink to be a good time. As their bodies pressed together and they moved to the RNB beat, they laughed at each other. "Don't forget the task at hand Spence." She teased. "What task? The task of finding you a girlfriend? Because let me tell you, she won't come if your hair is looking like that!" He started to run his fingers through her hair which just made her laugh more.

Derek was watching them have fun while he was downing his drink. "What's wrong Derek, this is your scene! This is where Derek Morgan is Derek Morgan. And let me tell you, Derek Morgan? He does NOT sit at the booth like a sad puppy when the love of his life is out there dancing! Something that is a rare sight for our eyes!" He sighed, taking another sip from the glass, but he stayed glued to the leather seat.

"C'mon Derek! Do something! If you're not gonna go after Reid go after another dude! Or a gal! Scout out the area, look for someone who seems worth while! There's only one single friend out of the 4 of us and right now it's looking like it's gonna be me because Emily is having a grand old time with Reid."

Glad to know he wasn't going crazy, he responded. "Yeah, speaking of which, since when are they so close? Like you said, we barely get to see Reid dance. Then all of a sudden he's taking Prentiss's hand and they're grinding it up on the dancefloor?" He couldn't leave the irritation of his voice.

"Jealous much?" She wiggled her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. "Don't you think it's weird?" Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Of course not dummy! If you haven't figured out what Emily Prentiss was by now, you probably never will! Ignoring her thoughts, she asked "well what do you think it is?" He stared at the pair, trying to get get ahold of what it all meant but he turned away, empty handed.

"Did you see that? He was staring at us for a long time..." Spencer said looking over Emily's shoulder. "Do you think it's working?" "I don't know...he looked upset...he's drinking right now. Mil, I don't want to do this if he's drunk..." Emily could hear the doubt stirring in him. She didn't want to push him but she had the feeling that this would be the only chance. She wouldn't get Spencer to agree with her on this again.

"Hey." She tilted his chin down toward her. "It's your call." She smiled. God, you just gotta love her, he thought. He smiled and went for it.

"Hey, they moved away from the dance floor. Where'd they go?" Derek said sitting up straight searching over the crowd of clubbers. "I don't know..." Penelope now getting concerned. She stood up and-

"oh my god-" "What?! Are they hurt?! What's going o-" his search for them was interrupted by Penelope's hands clutching the sides of his face and directing it to the right side of the room, were he could see Emily and Spencer making out.

They both just stood there, jaws on the floor. "I thought she didn't swing that way..." Penelope said, shocked to her core. "Reid?" Morgan said, not as if he was calling for him but as if he was surprised that Emily was kissing Spencer. Or was Spencer kissing her? Unlike the last time he was staring at them, he was now paying attention to every detail. The way Emily's tight long sleeve shirt left nothing to the imagination and how she was pulling Reid in by the inside of his pants, then feeling him up after. She smirked mischievously into his lips, as if it were just a game.

Reid on the other hand, looked like he was about to cum on sight. He was still playing with he hair like how he was on the dancefloor, but this time his eyes were screwed tight. He barely moved his mouth meaning that A, Prentiss was doing all the work and B, when he did move his mouth it was in the smallest way possible and by god did he look amazing. Holy shit, did he just see some tongue?! Oh fuck, Derek thought, the realization hitting him like a truck. I like both of them.

He continued to watch them. Spence's hair was getting in his face and Emily was too busy teasing him by thumbing the hem of his sweater vest to notice. Derek could tell how much it was bothering him but he also seemed so carefree, so trapped in the moment, the sensations. He moved his head back ever so slightly, as if to ask for more but her mouth never left his.

When they parted, Derek could swear he saw a string of saliva in between them. Damn. This is not what I expected would happen tonight. He thought maybe he'd see a beautiful girl or a handsome dude, giving him an answer he'd been craving; Gifting him the knowledge he had wanted this whole time. But that? Whatever the fuck he just saw? Left him with more questions than answers.

"Derek? Are you okay?" He snapped out of it and looked at Peneople who had a worried expression on her face. That's when he realized that she hadn't been ogling at them the whole time like how he was. "Did that answer your questions?" She tried to approach in a different way. "I uhh." No words could form. "Oh, he's having a gay panic moment-" "No it was definitely for both of them." he blurted without being able to stop himself.

Penelope spit the shot out of her mouth. "You like them BOTH?" "No I-" He was completely out of his element. He started racking his brain, trying to process what he just saw. Why was that so hot? If he had a crush on Reid (like he thought he had the whole time) then wouldn't seeing his boy being kissed make him freak out? But somehow, seeing Spencer being man handled by Emily made him speachless. An "ohhhh" from Penelope was what broke him out of thought. "Well, congratulations Derek. I think you just might like guys and girls."

"Holy shit" they laughed hysterically. Spencer was about to fall to the floor. "What was that?" Emily laughed. "I was trying to make it look believable!" "Yeah by acting like a slut? Okay." She went off in a giggling fit. "Well I think it worked." "No shit?" She asked, looking to the booth. Both Derek and Penelope were standing up. "Well I'll be damned. I don't think I've ever seen him that red." she smiled "holy shit. I did that?" "Hell yeah you did! go get 'im lover boy." He hugged her and thanked her for her help, then made his way back to the booth. He got intercepted by peneople on the way there.

"So. What the fuck was that?" Peneople shouted over the music. "Go ask Emily! I'm going to Morgan." What? "oH!" The pieces somewhat clicking into place. "Oh my god how did I not know!" She gave him a hug. He gave an uncomfortable chuckle "thanks Penelope. But I really gotta go-" "But! He likes you too!" Penelope called after him but Spencer was already too far away to hear. God damn the level of miscommunication that's going on right now! Annoyed at the circumstances, she walked off to Prentiss.

Spencer slid the booth, "Hey." Spencer said. He shifted uncomfortably. A few seconds ago he was having the time of his laughing with a friend. Now he sat across from a different friend, a friend who he didn't want to be friends with. The person he wanted something more with looked down at the ground with a hand over his mouth.

Spencer frowned "what's wrong?" Reaching for the other's hand. Derek looked at him, doe eyed. "Boys." Was all he said. Huh? He had never seen Derek like this. "...Do you wanna dance?" He asked concerned. Derek nodded rapidly and they were off.

Whatever groove Spencer had while dancing with Emily had left because he was back to his normal stiffness. He wondered what was wrong with him but he couldn't decide what it was considering the amount of events that had just occurred. How do I make this less weird? What does he want? Spencer's thoughts reflected on his face.

Fuck. What's going on? Derek wondered. Sure, they were swaying and he had his hands on him, a big improvement on their relationship but he knew something was off about Spencer. So naturally, that's when Derek turned on his profiler mode and started pawing for answers.

"I was watching you earlier, you had some moves pretty boy. Didn't know that about you." There's a lot you don't know about me the genius thought. Instead he responded with "really?" "Yeah. I thought you didn't dance." "I'm not good at it." Spencer laughed. Derek couldn't resist rolling his eyes at the comments. You were practically fucking on the dancefloor talk about 'I'm not good at it.' Boy please. Spencer caught his eyes rolling though. Becoming defensive, he said "we were just being silly. It didn't mean anything." "That make out didn't look so silly. Looked pretty serious from where I was standing."

Spencer was taken aback. Was he mad at him? There was a hint of protectiveness but why would Derek be protective over him when he was with Emily? They've known Emily for a while now, they trust her.

Spencer didn't let him slide away with the snideness. "So what's your problem tonight. Had too many drinks and are now pissed you're not the only one who knows how to have fun?"

"I'm not drunk." Derek grumbled. "Oh really? Derek we've been here 2 hours now and the whole time all you've done is sit down with Penny and drink drinks. And all of a sudden you're acting all strange? How do you explain that hm?" Derek looked away realizing his error, licking his lips.

You're gonna profile me? Two can play it that way. "It's the fact that it's Prentiss huh. Do you like her?" Derek still couldn't meet his eyes. "Or did you just think I couldn't get her?" Spencer wasn't one who got easily mad but the bullshit Derek was pulling was infuriating. Do I just let the cat out of the bag or do I see how he plays it out?There's too many mixed signals going on.

Spencer scoffed annoyingly, letting go of Derek and storming off. "Kid wait!" God damn it Derek this is the one thing you're not supposed to fuck up. Emily stood up from the table that she was at with Penelope. "What's going on?" "I don't know!" They both watched Spencer leave. "Oh no..." "What the f-...he likes him Emily I swear! It's all he's been talking to me about for months! I really don't know what's going on!" Emily tried to make her way through the crowd but Derek was already out the door, trying to reach Spencer.

This is just fucking great. I go out to a club, a place that I already don't like just to try to make a move on some dude, some asshole, and now it's raining. Could it seriously get worse? "Spencer, c'mon man!" Derek heard him curse in a language he didn't understand. "I don't have time for bullshit Derek! Don't waste my time!" He kept walking back towards him.

Derek caught up to him, his feet splashing into puddles. "Look man, I'm sorry. Just let me explain!" Spencer didn't even look at him, he just kept walking. As a final attempt, Derek grabbed his hand, Spencer now facing him. "I'm not trying to waste your time pretty boy. Or bullshit you." The rain drops sliding down both their faces. Despite there being no light other the moon, they looked into each other's eyes. Derek didn't have a firm grip on Spencer's hand, but Spencer didn't feel the need to let go.

"You should start explaining yourself because I don't like dealing with nonsense." His chest rising and falling with every deep breath he took. "For the past couple of months I thought I was seeing you differently so I talked to Peneople about it. She suggested we go to the club to see if I liked you or if I only liked girls or maybe even if I liked men in general. When I saw you and Emily kissing, I- I can't explain it. I liked it. I liked watching you two kiss but then you came over to me and I started feeling jealous and I don't know what's going on with me-" "shut up." Spencer grabbed Derek by the collar of his wet shirt and their mouths smashed together.

It wasn't a pretty sight. It wasn't delicate like how most people want their first kisses to be. But it reflected every emotion that the both of them had felt that night. The rain helping their mouths slide together, the small droplets getting smushed when their checks or chins touched. Derek thought that getting kissed by Spencer looked good but oh man did it feel better to actually be kissed by him. Derek slid his fingers through his hair, imitating Spencer when he kissed Prentiss. The water droplets clinging to the ends of his finger tips. Their bodies closer than Reid's and Emily's ever were.

Spencer pulled away, resting his forehead on Derek's. They both felt the breath of the other, the rapid in and outs trying to get back to their normal speed's. Spencer still had his fingers on Derek's collar, still keeping him close. "Please tell me that that cleared up some stuff for you." Spencer breathed.

"We could be that. Friends who kiss but not romantically." Derek offered. All he knew was that he would die a sad man if that was the only time he'd get to kiss Reid. "If we kiss, I'd like it to be in a romantic way. I didn't spend countless hours watching you go home with countless women to not have you kiss me in a romantic way Derek." Derek laughed at his bluntness. "Alright kid. Good. Because I wouldn't have it any other way." He went in for another kiss, and Spencer happily kissed him back.

"I think it did." Derek panted back. Spencer moved his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him into a hug. "I've had a huge crush on you for forever. I didn't say anything because I didn't think you were gay. Emily and I only kissed like that to see what your reaction would be. I don't like her, she doesn't like me. We're just friends. There's no romance behind it." He explained, still hugging him.

By: Mic

#mic writes fanfiction #criminal minds #cm #spencer reid #moreid #derek morgan #emily prentiss #peneople garcia #emily and spencer #emily prentiss and spencer reid #spemily: friends who kiss #bi derek morgan #bi spencer reid #Derek has bi panic #kiss in the rain #wingwoman penelope garcia #wingwoman emily prentiss #gender non conforming spencer reid

[mitskibf]

hi omg more on ur thoughts on smzs <33

okay so just to preface this and lay all my cards on table I was pretty active about it on here and also irl and i watched it in theatres with my friend too.

during the summer of smzs we were all horribly hyped about it and it was a real fun time. I have made some of my closest friends because of that movie (and later by dunking on it lmao). so subjectively, it's not something I hate.

objectively? it's messy. a one time watch if you can get through it in one sitting. there were lines in the movie which were more than cringey. y'all remember that whole dog metaphor they did? god what the fuck was that.

and I've heard all sides of the argument. from older queers saying that it wasn't good at all because it did zero for representation to younger queers saying we deserve our own fun wacky rom-com. and I sort of agree with both. we DO deserve a wacky rom-com but smzs WASN'T it. it didn't hit the right notes and constantly jumped between emotionally charged moments to comedic relief so there was no tension to the plot? you get what I'm saying? we can write better queer romcoms than that

on the topic of representation. I did see two men kissing on screen like twice? I think it was. but also the whole movie was very ehhh in other things (this is all on very bad memory so correct me if I'm wrong somewhere) like at the end where they play into the man in a dress trope which I look at very skeptically in bwood. so basically net zero in terms of rep shshhsjs.

also the fandom which developed around it....hm. definitely hmm. I wasn't interested in the movie as much after watching it so I don't know the full aftermath but I do know people had moved onto shipping the actor's other characters with each other. take that how you will I guess. also while I'm saying this: do I think Ayushmann Khurrana deserves praise for this? yeah sure but there's something to be said about that man doing social issue dramas and how he doesn't probably understand the actual weight of a story like smzs but I digress.

in conclusion, we desi queer people deserve better than to be reduced to Ayushmann Khurrana wearing a nose ring and having a weird haircut. any desi queer you talk is bound to have a nuanced and interesting story about their journey and smzs didn't make enough of an effort to portray that.

#HOWEVER. if you guys dont support Jitendra Kumar i will be so mad !! because that man literally debuted in bwood with this!! #stream kota factory s2 on Netflix for him <3 #also smzs stans i know youre still out there and you follow me and i know youve all seen my fic so dont kill me #just remembered there was a whole b plot of cabbage. literal cabbage. konsa ganja phooka tha bey. #smzs #asks

[nostalgic-pancakes]

F is for friends who do stuff together - the awake at 2 AM remix

Joan needs a swear jar, Talyn's a lightbulb, Valerie is tired and valid, and Thomas+Sides are very confused)

Summary- Thomas has had his sides around for... a long time. That's for sure. And he knows that nobody else can see them (except maybe Lilly, but she has sides too, so).

Pairings- Pintroverts, Thomas and friends, Thomas and Sides

Read on AO3

Word count- 2666

Warnings- It has character!everyone, and NOT their real life counterparts. Please remember this.

Other notes- AU where instead of Vine, c!Thomas left chemical engineering for signing with a really dope theatre company with his friends. He still meets Nico at the mall, but Nico's a new writer for the company! All the sides are friends too! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, the first time was an accident, okay? Joan was tired and a bit incoherent and what was Thomas supposed to do?!! Leave them be? No! So Joan ended up staying the night.

Except, the next morning was when everyone had entered the courtroom together and they'd gotten WAY too dramatic over whether to lie to them about a text they'd made like… two days ago and that Thomas had only seen after combing through a barrage of memes and that Joan probably wouldn't remember, come to think about it. But that was hindsight and after the utter nightmare that was a whole day (A whole day!!) with Aunt Patty the day before, Virgil and Patton were absolutely freaking out, probably giving Deceit (Who, in hindsight, Thomas knows as Janus) a little extra leeway into the conversation that day.

Either way, Joan had stayed the night in order to recover from the utter sleep-deprivation that they'd been going through, and Thomas had forgotten about the fact that Joan was even there for most of the morning, only seeing them after the entire courtroom spectacle (and a suspiciously dire warning from Virgil) at breakfast, and them leaving to see Talyn a little after (with plenty of hugs involved, duh).

Then Thomas told Joan the truth over the call, and Joan had said The Line (as Roman, Virgil and Janus call it with an oddly cryptid-like voice) and Thomas felt himself go frigid.

Since when did Joan know that Thomas talked to his sides?! Had they learned their names? Figured out that Thomas might just have a few extra screws loose than they might have initially thought?

"Maybe they even hate us now because we got so crazed over one little text and--”

“Virgil. Not helping!” Thomas yelps, and Virgil catches himself in his spiel of worst case scenarios, looking a bit sheepish. Patton and Thomas smile at him reassuringly (he hopes) and Logan clears his throat, causing everyone to turn to him.

“Well, Joan seems to be aware enough of the fact that you speak to us, but mostly considers it as you, as they had said, ‘talking to yourself’, and besides, you didn’t name-drop us too many times, anyways. And while it’s not really...ideal, that Joan thinks you talk to yourself for this long-”

“You can say that again, Stephen Hawk-Nerd”, murmured Roman. Logan winces, and Thomas kind of wants to hug him, so he does.

“Yes, Roman, and as bad as that nickname is, note that this is not, in fact a worst-case scenario. This can be put down to the fact that Thomas has some strange personality quirks-”

“Did you just do some wordplay there, kiddo?” Patton beams at the implication, while Logan, currently being shared by Thomas and Virgil, just groans and descends further into the contact.

“No, I did not, Patton, but what I am saying, is that this is not too bad. We can talk about it as a general personality quirk. This is fine.” Logan finishes, and becomes a heap in the total hug-pile of Thomas and Virgil, flopping over. Huh, he (as usual) has a point. Maybe this can work.

The second time was a pretty near miss, but once again, it was unexpected! He and the sides were just watching Mulan together as usual! They were piled up together, blankets in hand, and yeah, it might look weird to anyone who can’t see the sides, he guesses, with the blankets stretched out in places that have nothing to stretch onto, but once again, he wasn't expecting someone to come over! But anyways- whatever happens, happens. He's trying to be better about it.

It really doesn't stop Janus from pulling out all the stops (teaming up with Virgil, even!) when it comes to having to come up with an alibi to Terrence over why the blankets are arranged so strangely, even though there is literally nothing keeping it afloat. In the end, it's not the most believable lie, but Terrence is busy with Valerie just after, so he probably doesn't really think about it too hard. Besides, Thomas has always been a pretty quirky guy! ("Which could be an insul--" "Jack and Sullen, we love you very very much, but please, for the love of all things Disney, please breathe and take out your fidget cube..") So hey, what was a new quirk when added to everything else?

Meanwhile, Terrence is trying to figure out what the fuck he just saw, because he's pretty sure that there were more than one Thomas there, and Thomas only has two other brothers. Also none of them dress like twenties mobsters or are semi-transparent.

Nico was having a good day. In fact, he still is!

He and his (amazing) boyfriend were sitting on the couch- though more draped on top of each other than anything while binge watching ELITE and Tiny Pretty Things, while also being pleasantly high (as opposed to stoned).

Things only entered strange territory when during one of the flashback murder-y scenes in Tiny pretty Things, a strange man who looked like an even more chaotic Thomas with some grey hair on him entered the room from seemingly nowhere, and proceeded to occupy the sparse space on Thomas’s lap with his head, essntially just napping on his boyfriend’s lap while also being kind of see-through (???!!!???AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). Thomas noticed, waved a small wave and started playing with this weird guy’s hair.

Nico is now a little high from the bong that he and Thomas had shared, but not enough to hallucinate, especially since, when the high was pretty much gone, the guy was STILL THERE. MIERDA. At this point, he’s just going to call it ghosts. Thomas doesn’t seem to mind too much anyways, so they must not be harmful. Nico decides to table this for another day and go back to binge watching crazy maniacs with his very soft and warm boyfriend, and let the remainder of the high coast along.

"We have to talk about the Thomas thing." Is the first thing Joan says without any bullshit, as soon as everyone except Thomas himself, Gavin (because it's two AM) and Quil are packed together in Thomas's living room, where he just binged Parks and Rec with everyone. They've all finally managed to shove Thomas and Quil back to their respective areas of sleep after 42 hours without said sleep, and nobody was allowed to talk loud enough for them to wake up.

"The… Thomas thing?" Asks Valerie. Oh that sweet summer child. Joan once again quietly calls everyone's attention by asking Talyn to shake their hair around like a neon-coloured alarm bell. This was especially effective in the otherwise dark kitchen where they were trying out glow in the dark hair dye.

"Well, as of lately, we've been seeing a lot, and I mean a lot of really weird shit coming from Thomas. Everyone, recount your experiences." Joan says in the most serious voice they've got. "I'll go first."

They wave their hands like Matt Mercer, as if they were setting up a dope DND campaign. Quietly, of course.

"Well, about a month ago now, I was cleaning here, at Thomas's, because I was sleep-deprived and would have crashed and died if I'd tried to go back to mine and Talyn's. So most of the night goes normally, as one would expect, but when I wake up in the morning…" Joan readjusts their beanie. "I hear Thomas in the living room, talking to people called Logan, Roman, someone called Pat, Virgil and 'deceit'. And this debate becomes an ordeal, alright? He re-enacts a whole entire ace-attorney style courtroom scene with these imaginary people? I called him out on it over the phone when he apologized for some random thing- I don't remember, and he kind of just… admitted that he talks to himself? And moved on.

Everyone absorbs this new information. Camden keeps braiding Talyn's hair.

"But that's not too big of a deal, right Joan?" Whispers Camden, tying up the elaborate mini fishtail plait in Talyn's hair. "I mean, thanks Thomas we're talking about. He could have been rehearsing or something- isn't he JD in the next production of Heathers?"

Terrence speaks up next. "Yes, this would have been all well and good, had the Blanket Incident ™ not occured."

Valerie shakes her head. Why are her friends like this? Oh wait. They’re all theatre nerds, queer and D&D players.

"In the blanket incident ™, I was walking past Thomas's room, as one does. HOWEVER, while he was watching Mulan, I noticed something wrong with his blanket pile!"

"What, that they don't have any Vetal Miking references on them? Because that's the true tragedy here."

"Nope, sorry Tal, the weirdness here was not about Vetal Miking references, but the fact that parts of the blanket were freaking floating, in thin air! I have discreet pictures!"

"What the fuck, Terrence." whispered everyone in a strange, haunting unison that could only be possible at two AM as they saw the very strange pictures.

"And that's not it!" Pipes up Talyn, who is now realising that they are very close to becoming too loud for 2 AM kitchen chats, and makes an effort to quiet down.

"At breakfast today, Thomas's waffles were making themselves- Thomas can't cook, y'all. And he can't even use is fucking waffle iron. And he was on the other side of the room! Talking to Quil!" After Quil left, he told the waffle creator to chill out because the stack was getting too tall!"

"Is this about Thomas's ghosts, guys?" Asks Nico, the new cute boyfriend and new theatre company writer as he plops down in Quil's usual spot. Nico's nice- everyone likes Nico except maybe Nico, to which, well, mood. ALSO- ghosts?!!

"Nico what the fuck do you mean by ghosts, you serial killer in training?"

"One, just because I have to write a serial killer in this new script and I'm enjoying it, it doesn't mean I'm gonna be a serial killer, you tonte. Two: yeah, the ghosts that follow him around and look just like him? They seem nice enough." At everyone's super unspoken request to elaborate, for fuck's sake, he takes the hint and does.

“Oh! So the first time I saw them, I was at the mall. You know, where Thomas and I met?” everyone nods, and Talyn readjusts their braces.

“So there was this guy in a hoodie- Virgil, as you said, and the Disney prince. Roman, I think. And they were just kind of… there? Roman was holding Virgil’s shoulder affectionately, and that’s about it. They were only really visible after about three or four hours of us talking, though.” Some of the people hum.

“Then, we were watching a movie and these two guys who also look a lot like Thomas just kind of lounged? On the couch? They were pretty faint, like if their brightness was decreased to about thirty percent in Photoshop.”

“Hey, same!” says Terrence.

“Yeah, so those guys- the one in the green t-shirt that has the legs on the bus meme- so weird- kind of just stretches onto Thomas’s lap and stays there, while the twenties mobster just… curls up to his side? And thomas is probably like, used to this because he kind of just lets it be and curls the meme shirt-”

“I think it’s Remus.”

“-Remus’s hair absentmindedly and moves on.”

“Fuck.” Whispered Joan very softly, but with great feeling.

“So what do we do about it?” asks Camden. There, finally, someone asks the real questions.

“Well,” puts forward Talyn. “They’re not harming him, right? And he’s had them around for a long enough time, right? So what’s the harm? Thomas is just haunted and will probably be on Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural at some point when he dies but hey, if he’s cool with it, we are too.”

Everyone seems to agree with that, and they’re in comfortable silence, until Valerie asks everyone to go the fuck to sleep, we’re still doing the Heather’s costume rehersals and Death Week starts in two days. With groans and cracked joints from Talyn, everyone hobbles off to their respective rooms in the duplex.

Meanwhile, a certain white-streaked side and his hoodied companion are listening through the wall, far away from what anyone can see, and they both visibly sigh in relief. That didn’t go too badly. The question remains: what do we do now?

“They KNOW????” exclaims Thomas, the next day in the (thankfully empty) breakroom, in between rehearsals- Candy Store is being run through and that means that everyone else is outside.

“Yes, Thomas, they know. Or they somewhat know, I suppose.”

“Yeah, because they think we’re-Thomas is being HAUNTED!!’

“Are you not haunted, then?” comes a voice, and Thomas turns around, forgetting to let the sides dissipate in his surprise. It’s Nico, with Talyn and Valerie close behind, who are clearly taking in the six other guys in the breakroom. Well, fuck. The cat’s out of the bag for good, he guesses.

“Could you get everyone else during lunch break? I’ll explain then.” Talyn nods and leaves with a smile, telling him that they’re not mad at him, while Nico asks, voice farther away “So are you haunted or not?”.

“So they’re… aspects of your personality that you’ve been able to manifest since you were a kid?” Camden asks, a bit disbelieving, even as Logan, Roman, Patton and Janus drape themselves over Thomas on one of the beanbags in the breakroom, filled with other nerdy gay young adults. Logan pushes up his glasses, ready to go on another tangent. Go wild, you funky little dude.

“Well yes, that’s exactly what we're saying. I myself am the embodiment of Logic- every fact that Thomas has ever learned, and his, and these are his words, not mine, ‘the only braincell’. He makes the air quotes to go with the expression, but is also smiling fondly.

“Classic Thomas.”

“Yes, Valerie, I am inclined to agree. However, this is not specific to Thomas. Other people can, in fact, do what Thomas is. Lilly Singh is one of them- the reason that she and Thomas are even friends is because in high school Thomas caught her talking to one of her sides in the art room.”

“So wait-- we can summon sides too?!” asks Nico, and he and Camden look genuinely excited, but Thomas knows the answer to that question.

“Unfortunately no, not really. You have to have an extremely active imagination, and also be ‘innocent’, as society would put it. I’d say näive.”

“For example, I couldn’t make any more sides after i was fourteen, because I watched the news by then.” pipes in Thomas. Joan seems to process this first, nodding and grinning sardonically. “Ah yes, the news. Wrecking childhoods since forever.” everyone nods in gay syncing, because gay minds think at the same time.

Valerie suddenly speaks up; “So how many sides do you have, Thomas?”

Thomas perks up, because his sides are possibly his favourite metaphysical beings (as narcissistic as that might sound) “I have six! My logic, morality, both creativities- Kids and Family and PG13-and-up, anxiety and deceit! I have two creativities because of catholic guilt and my mind’s inherent need to cause chaos, I guess.”

“Valid” replied Valerie.

The rest of break passed by pretty smoothly, with questions being passed back-and-forth about what the sides truly were, considering they clearly were not just Thomas, and Virgil even felt okay enough to come in later! So that was good. Though he kind of wishes Remus had made fewer Heathers jokes- Camden was starting to look squeamish, even as Nico frantically took notes of gorey facts to use in his script.

Honestly, Thomas thought to himself. What was I scared of?

Irrational things. And rejection, replies Virgil in his head. He laughs and pulls him in for a hug, and tries as he might to deny it, Virgil is looking pretty chuffed.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #character thomas #nico flores #nico flores x thomas sanders #pintroverts #not rpf #do not repost #ts virgil #ts logan #ts remus #vee's writing #2021 #f is for friends verse

[depressedsightwitch]

A list of things that annoy me in the book community

- mackenzi lee being a white feminist and also remember that time was trying to tease people that some MC in one of her books /might/ be asexual and people were like it's a yes or no question like???? She implied it was a spoiler or something I think. Also I'm pretty sure i saw she tried to police someone's bisexuality or something to that effect and idk if that's true but even if it is yikes. (*add on* the original wording was bad, so it was changed, I thought I'd saved the thing I saw about this and as far as I can tell I haven't. This is also not trying to say she's evil and antibi (she's bi I'm pretty sure) but in case she pulls the classic messy queer move as she's been pulling a lot of messy shit 🙂)

- the annoyance at Jodi Meadows having the first YA fantasy book (that we know of) published with a black girl on it, knowing full well other POC should've gotten that honor first and then saying nothing about it or any of the issues in the book (ive heard that most of the males- who are black- are aggressive and it mostly just features the mc being fucking tortured in a prison cell but yay for a white lady writing a black character)

- maggie stiefvaters constant racism

- i still feel awful that cclare is so fucking big, like i enjoyed tid (obviously) but hot damn she fucked a lot of ppl over and that whole copyright situation, meaning she copyrighted herself not the darkhunters lady is Yikestm. Also all of her books kinda read same? But thats more a me thing 🤷🏼

- oh right people still stan sjm and I'm????? She's racist, sexist, ableist, and probably more! Not to mention her books go on for too long with virtually no content (im looking at you empire of storms) and are so fucking similar literally empire of storms and court of mist and fury had the same ending. Also, can we talk about how people were seeing lines not just from other people's books but from HER OWN books that were in ACOWAR (which still looks like 'a cowar (d)' to me, coincidence, i think not) and wasn't there that whole thing were she was a asshat to her closest author pal (s), and to her fans and shit? Like, IDK she was nice to me when I met her but the fact that she ran from social media when people criticized her was telling and I wouldn't put that past her.

(Side note, I don't hate her or want her dead or harmed, that's awful, I just want her to have virtually no sales, like therw is no reason this person should be famous)

- harlequinteen and their messy ass needs to go home like? Stop with The Continent and The Black Witch and Zenith.

The Continent is racist and anti native, with a healthy doce of white savior.

The Black Witch is every kind if -ist, -ism, anti-, you can possibly think of, but it's passed of as okay/funny/progressive for the sake of our very white, very allocishet, and able MC.

Zenith is like some mess they tossed together at the last minute but it's okay, apparently they have "diversity". Despite no character ever being describe one of the characters is a WOC? Also that book is just a fucking joke, i think theinsanereader on youtube puts it best, plus literally just goodreads it.

- also epic reads needs to chill with continuing to rec books that came in 2012 that the WHOLE WORLD KNOWS ABOUT okay, Throne of Glass, The Hunger Game, Cinder they've come and gone, move on please. Also stop with messy books like Carve The Mark it looks bad on you.

- and can we please talk about how authors will drop issues of suddenly become indifferent to criticisms once they get a deal. They could be screaming about problematic people, protect the teens, more diversity but it's like the second they sign with some big company. Not that the company matters, all of the self pub authors I know of/followed where pretty sketchy or asshats, so there is that.

ADD ONS

- im also still annoyed about that tristina wright shit, like 1. She was cancelled when her book fucking sympathized with colonizers, 2. She was double cancelled when her apology wasn't even an apology like???? Also, I HATE how much that highlighted ppl having to pick, like the shitty race and coloniser narrative for queerness? Alright, will do? But now she's a sexual harrasser too, so triple done with her. I wonder how Entangled Teen is handling this?

- authors who suddenly have diversity in there books? What the fuck was with the sudden diversity in King's Cage? Why wasn't all that there before? Likely because the author didn't think to put it in until people criticised her for it. Same with SJM, people criticised her and instead of actually doing anything about it she "actually-ed" in her books by plunking rando queers into the story, but i doubt she takes the poc thing seriously because "but she has the summer court!" Okay jan, yes the queen of diversity love 👀

-also wtf is it with the "here's a black nation and my nation is all white" in fantasy, what is that why do people do that, why is your fantasy world segregated, at SJM and Sara Raasch, like I loved Snow Like Ashes but it has that in it. I think I've heard of other fantasy books having it too, like Kiss of Deception but I could be wrong.

-how little the YA community cares about the demographic these books are written for. I joined as a teen and literally everyone cared about the opinions of adults more than us? If you don't like or value teens then go somewhere else? These stories are supposed to be for them and about them and y'all are out here speaking over and attacking them? Yikes.

(Add on) because this isn't apparent this is me being annoying and annoyed. This are all things I've heard about/read about at some point and I'd dare say a good portion of these you could look up and read more about!

If any of this pisses you off feel free to fight me (i hope you read in that 13yos viner girls voice) and if you think I'm wrong feel free to challenge me 🙂)

#mackenzi lee #jodi meadows #maggie stiefvater #cassandra clare #sarah j maas #a gentleman's guide to vice and virtue #bygone badass broads #before she ignites #before she ignores #am i right #the raven cycle #the raven king #throne of glass #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #the mortal instruments #anti sjm #harlequin teen #the black witch #the continent #zenith #laurie forest #kiera drake #sasha alsberg #lindsay cummings #booklr #ya #young adult books

[girl-traeger]

Listen, fam. I'm coming out.

Look, I've been working on the best way to do this for a while. I had a whole long thing typed up & I kept re-writing it for months. But I think I'm just gonna get to the point. I'm coming out. I identify as pansexual. What is pansexuality, you ask? Well, it basically means that I feel attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender. Cis men & women, trans men & women, agender folks, demigender folks, etc. If you've never heard of pansexuality before, lemme hit you with that Wikipedia link real quick to help you out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality . Pansexuality is pretty adjacent to bisexuality & often gets confused for it. However, the two are slightly different in that bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders & pansexuality is attraction to anyone of any gender. A couple things to note real quick before we continue: 1. Pansexuality doesn't mean that you're attracted to EVERYONE you see. It simply means that your capacity to feel attraction isn't primarily based on gender. 2. If you make any jokes about having sex with pans, you're officially a cornball. I'm just giving you a heads up, is all. Sorry but I don't make the rules. So the thing you might be wondering is how I figured this out. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out how I could go 29 years without knowing this about myself. But every time I think back, there is one element of my past that explains why it took so long. Growing up in a predominantly conservative christian home, the idea of being gay or anything close to it was a non-starter. It was a sin & a heavily condemned one, at that. As a result, any time a "gay thought" would pop up in my head, I tried to get it out of there as quick as possible. It became an instant reflex to keep that kind of thought out of my head. But I still would feel guilt for the thought, as well as guilt from "lusting" for women. My teens were a confusion time where I was discouraged from even considering an attraction for another gender while also being told I was TOO attracted to the "right" gender. Not a great situation, emotionally. Unfortunately, I suspect it's not an uncommon occurrence for kids growing up in strict christian homes. That said, I felt more comfortable exploring attraction & affection towards cisgendered women (even if it led to "sin" or whatever ugh) mainly because it was instilled in me by conservative christian culture that being gay was worse in the eyes of both God & the church congregation than sleeping with a woman before marriage. If you did that, the church congregation would murmur about you for a bit & engage in some form of slut-shaming hidden under the guise of "asking god for forgiveness." If you were gay? That was a disease. A sinful disease. You'd be quarantined, or ostracized, from that community unless they had the "grace" to help you get therapy to pray the gay away. So, being a massively horny but perpetually nervous teen, I chose to guiltily explore attraction to cis women & push everything else out. In college, my views on both religion & sexuality became more liberal. I no longer thought of being gay as a sin disease (although Sin Disease is a good name for a metal band, now that I think about it). This trend continued after college & beyond, to the point of total acceptance & support for the LGBTQIA community. Folks were gay (including several friends of mine) & that's cool. But I never thought about it for myself. I never allowed myself to really consider the possibility that I could be attracted to anyone else because I always struck the thought down when it popped up in my head. Even though I was no longer religious, I still carried that reflex I learned as a child years ago. The reflex that conservative Christianity taught & encouraged within me. I guess what I'm saying is that religious suppression is a powerful thing. And that only started to unravel for me late last year. I can't point to one thing that started the unraveling process because it really was a culmination of a bunch of different things (such as talking with some cool queer folks about their experiences & finally allowing myself to let in/process non-heteronormative thoughts). It was in late January where I first admitted out loud to one of my roommates that I was beginning to think that I wasn't actually straight. It was really hard for me to find the words for how I felt. None of the established labels (gay, bi, etc) felt 100 percent accurate for me. She actually helped point me toward the idea of pansexuality, which seemed closer to how I felt (I would later talk to some cool queer folks who helped verify some information about pansexuality, where it fit in the rainbow, etc). And a weird thing happened that night. I felt a weight lift off of me. It happened almost instantly. It was like a weight that I never knew was there. And I started crying. Was this what I was carrying with me for 29 years? Was that reflex to kick the idea of anything queer out of my head keeping this weight on me? Even now, with the large amounts of stress/worry that I feel on a day-to-day basis, I think about all of this & it feels like a bright spot in an otherwise dark world for me. Like, the world is going to shit, but I finally figured out this important truth about myself. Anyway, that's a lot of words up there. And I'm not done! I still need to tell you why I'm saying all of this! But I know this has been a long read, so feel free to run to the bathroom if you need to. It occurred to me that I might not be the only one in this situation. If conservative christian culture was able to burrow that repressive reflex that deep into me (so deep that it lasted years after I left the church), it had to do the same to other folks. Maybe there's someone reading this that hasn't even allowed themselves to consider their sexual identity. Maybe someone's reading that's just starting to ask some questions about their identity. If so, I want to tell you that it's okay to question & explore that side of yourself, even if you don't really have a name for it yet. I certainly didn't know what to call myself at first, other than "not straight". You're 100% not alone in this. I'm out here with you, grasping at bits of truth, filling in the gaps, & trying to find answers but feeling so much more free in the journey than I ever did in the comfort of what I knew. If you are in that situation, there are a lot of good resources to help you fill in the gaps & answer some of those lingering questions. If you have a friend in the LGBTQIA community, don't be afraid to ask them about their own experience. Talking with folks who had an experience coming to grips with their own queerness helped me quite a bit, even when our experiences were different. It's just nice to know you're not some unsolvable mystery & that this this thing (whatever you end up calling it) is a very positive thing. If you live in a big enough city, you probably have an equality center that provides resources, access to affordable counseling, support groups, & social events (where you can meet other folks within the community). If your city doesn't have something like that, there are online resources that can help as well. Here's a link for the GLBT National Help Center, in case you're in that situation: http://glbtnationalhelpcenter.org . Hopefully that ends up being helpful to anyone who needs it. It's 2018 & while there have been massive strides in LGBTQIA rights/visibility, there are still many ways in which members of the community are harmed & discriminated against (spearheaded largely by our current administration). We're not in a time where everyone everywhere can feel 100% safe openly exploring their sexual and/or gender identity. I'm a huge dummy in many respects, but if some of the information in this post helps someone feel less alone or points them in the right direction, then it'll be worth it. I realize that there are folks I know who hold more conservative views. They'll probably read all of this (or like, just the first two paragraphs lol) & decide I'm heading straight to hell. If they're being generous, they'll say that they're "praying for me" & pity me as another lost soul. Which, whatever. I'll be fine. If anything, I feel more free than I ever did repressing such a big part of myself. Plus, these are people who voted for Trump (& if they didn't, they are still largely okay with the gay-hating coward Mike Pence). So we're not gonna see eye-to-eye on this no matter what. 🤷‍♂️ Also they can fuck off. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ I guess that's all I have to say. If you stuck around & read all of this, I appreciate you indulging me as I tried to fumble around explaining myself. It's been about 5 months since I first came out to my roommate & I'm happy to finally share the good news with y'all. I'm going to my first ever Pride parade soon. It'll be my first time around a large gathering of queer folk. I normally don't really like being out in large groups (nor do I love highly corporate-sponsored events, which this surely will be). That being said, I'm really excited! I seriously can't wait for this. Probably because it feels like finally being united with a group you never knew you were a part of. It's an event specifically celebrating the idea that it's cool & good to be queer, to be part of this rainbow. For the first time in a long time, it feels like I'm moving in the right direction.

[thestuckylibrary]

The straight writers + mlm fic thing. I'm totally bummed that sounded like a dig at cis straight fans for being into + supportng m/m ships. Why s it bad for us to support slash ships just cause we're straight? LGBTQ writers matter + we need more of them, y'all! just why does our work mean less when we're here for and supprt those LGBTQ people and writiers? an I'm writing for everyone y'all, not just straight gals. We should support each other equally + not put others down dude

No one is putting you down, or saying you shouldn’t support or create content for slash ships. We’re just saying as fans writing about queer people, specifically mlm, we shouldn’t treat straightness and cisness as neutral or the simple fact that we are writing slash as allyship. We’re talking about queer issues, specifically mlm issues in fandom, and by sending an ask like this you are placing yourself in the role of a victim, which you are not. While I’m not mlm, I am queer. disclaimer that I’m not mlm I’m just a queer woman whos trying to show some solidarity. I’m not an authority by any means, I’m just riled and trying to put forth opinions Ive seen mlm give and you know, not hide from the fact that fandom isn’t perfect. but do note that I’m a cis, albeit queer, woman writing this, not mlm. 

We’re not saying your work is less or that you shouldn’t be here, we’re just saying, hey maybe engage with what you’re writing a little more critically and don’t act as though your writing is for everyone unless you are actively listening to mlm about problems that show up when women, particularly straight cis women, write about mlm.

As usual I could not keep it brief for the life of me so I put most of my queer rage under the cut

Ok so first off you have the whole side of fandom (once again, not mlm, but women, in my experience mostly cis straight women) that like calls bucky their “sad gay baby” or “smol sad gay” and calls m/m erotic fic things along the lines of “filthy sinful gay smut”. I can totally understand why this makes mlm uncomfortable, I mean like who wants their non heterosexuality to be the defining trait that makes them appealing to straight people, who would want their love to be routinely called sinful and filthy by a community that claims to love them? Seriously guys take a step back and think about how it would feel to have someone talk about you like that. 

I read a huge wonderful post by a bunch of mlm in fandom a while ago and I’ll sum up a little of it here. Basically it’s absolutely wonderful to have a huge community devoted to create content about lgbt+ characters. It’s amazing to have a space where people can come together and create content where queer people get happy endings and we can explore all sorts of themes all with lgbt characters. But since slash has a huge number of women, cishet or lgbt+, writing about lgbt+ men, stuff can get a not great. 

For example, its really, really common to see top/bottom debates among fans. It’s one thing for mlm to identify as a top or bottom, it’s a whole other for women to sit there and debate which character fits in which static role. The whole thing reeks of deciding whos the “man” and whos the “woman” all to appease (usually and I am speaking from experience, not statistics or anything) straight cis women. We used to have a mod here who was a sex therapist and she talked a lot about how top/bottom debates are a really stereotypical way to look at queer mens relationships and as they are now its basically all about perceived gender roles and fetishization which like, is one of those things that should be putting up a red flag. She also talked a bit about how statistically it’s pretty likely that most gay couples don’t even really have penetrative sex and stick to mostly oral, intercural and hand stuff. And I’ve seen like so many mlm say that the whole top/bottom debate in fandom is homophobic as fuck time and time again and people just keep on going. Randos (especailly straight people) debating whos penetrating and whos being penetrated in a gay relationship as static roles is really. hoo. yikes. You also see things like only trans writers writing trans men who top, which speaks volumes. While what you read and write is up to you, it’s a good idea to look at why these trends happen and how they happen and what they do. 

You also see a lot, like A LOT of unsafe sex practices because they’re “not hot otherwise” Just to start, me, a bi ace woman, cringes when I’m reading a fic and someone just shoves their dick into an asshole with like only some kissing as warm up. No. If you did that in real life, it would straight up just be painful and cause anal tearing. Also: rimming with no cleaning first? Like ok if you really think its hot to plunge a tongue into a dirty asshole, go for it but like, really? It takes literally one sentences to add in like “oh hey I did an enema and cleaned up before you got here” before delving into sex. It takes one sentence to do the same for lube oh my god seriously unlubed anal sex no matter the gender is just gonna lead to either 1. dick or toy stuck in asshole, 2. severe anal tearing, 3. both and even more delicate skin and tissue related injuries. While I’m on it if you are a vagina owner, or a penis owner or somewhere in between and are interested in playing with genitals, you should be using lube if you aren’t already. lube is your friend. 

While it’s not content creators duty to make sure people know how to have safe sex, it’s pretty troubling that unsafe m/m sex is looked at as being “hot” in a very particular way. From what I understand, proper prep is a vital, vital part of gay sex and woman saying fics that show proper prep aren’t “”hot”” and fics that don’t show it are, that speaks to a broader problem. 

Anyways this is me, a womans thoughts on the matter synthesized from reading a bunch of posts by mlm discussing the way them and stories about them are treated in fandom and it’s honestly better to just like, read their opinions. I tried my best here but I am still a woman and therefore don’t fully understand mlm experience (not that there is a single mlm experience)

Please do continue writing and creating and reading and making headcannons! No one is saying you shouldn’t be here or you shouldn’t wrote m/m! All that’s being asked is for women, especially straight women who read and write and create m/m fanworks, to engage with it mindfully and like, at least make your best effort to not to fetishize mlm, to treat them as people rather than objects, which I really don’t think is asking too much. 

Further reading

here

here (same post but with different topics discussed)

here

Feel free to add more links of mlm taking about these issues cause I know i’m long winded but I don’t want to talk over mlm!

#qworduse #karins queer rage #fandom wank #mod karin #Anonymous