#sorry for the progress bar being there for half a second

[kriber]

happy fathers day to the only father ever

#trollhunters #jim lake jr #troll jim #blinky #blinkous galadrigal #jay.error #THATS YOUR DAD JIMBO #sorry for the progress bar being there for half a second

[reiincarnatiion]

shadows of destiny | azriel x reader | part one

summary : 3 sisters for 3 brothers....right? Azriel believes wholeheartedly that Elain should be his mate and in doing so ignores his deep feelings for you.

🧚‍♀️

a/n : I haven't written in like 6 years since my draco malfoy and kpop fanfictions HAHA so please forgive me I am rusty!! Also I wrote this on my phone eeee

but finally eee I'm so excited to post my first writing on tumblr !! I was always a quotev and wattpad girly but here I am finally... 💗

just writing some rough short stories rn but I'll def write more as I get more comfortable again and into the rhythm! let me know what you think please 🫶🏼

ps: it's not proof read cuz I'm lazy I'm so sorry so please ignore mistakes dearies

-----🩷🧚‍♀️💗------

You watched as Azriel bent down to whisper something into Elains ear and you felt a growl beginning to build up in your throat.

You didn't know the mating bond did this ; make one so possessive and jealous that the half-moon nail marks on your palms had become blood red, from gripping your fists too strongly.

"I just don't understand why you can't tell him," a voice whispers next to you. You turn to acknowledge Mor, as she slips in next to you into the booth.

"Because the moment I do, this whole dynamic changes Mor," you whisper back, indicating to the sprawl of people around you.

You guys had come to Rita's once again, to party, drink, kiss and do other nonsense things Cassian had eagerly talked about, whilst pitching the idea to the group. It had started off fun, with everyone talking together but as the night had progressed, they had all paired off. You could see Feyre and Rhys making out in the corner of your eyes and Nesta and Cassian dancing around each other on the club floor. Elain and Azriel had also innocently gotten up and moved to another table, using a range of excuses you hadn't bothered to process.

Even Mor had a female making eyes at her from afar.

"Then change the dynamic, Y/N. I need some excitement in my life," she whispered furiously again and slid out, stalking to the female at the bar.

Groaning you sunk into the booth, left alone to your thoughts plagued by one thing only, Azriel.

The repetitive music slowly faded out, as you downed drink after drink, watching the others around you mingle and grind away into the depths of the night. They would come past your table and say a few words before being dragged away again.

But not once did he come. Not once did he even look in your direction... and it infuriated you.

"You look more miserable than me,"

You blinked, looking up to focus in on the flop of red hair, braids and whizzing metallic eye and a handsome jawline.

"Lucien!!!" you let out a whine, attempting to get up but falling back down in the process, not having realised how much strong alcohol you had consumed in the last hour.

"Woah there stargirl," he slipped in next to you, using the nickname only he used for you.

Lucien and you had met on Starfall, as you had been leaning on the balcony, apparently being half a second from falling over because of your drunk eagerness to "catch one of the stars", and since then, he had named you Stargirl. Your friendship had blossomed due to your matching humour and desire to travel the realms.

His shoulder pressed up against you, his warmth spread through you, making you feel giddy. You couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or your desperation, as you abruptly laid a hand on his thigh.

If he noticed, he didn't show it as he took a swig of one of the elixirs that you had in your hand.

As he drank, you watched his eyes zero in on his elusive mate and you swore you saw them darken.

His scent visibly changed as he placed the now empty cup back on the table with a lethal fluidness that had you wondering how good he was at controlling his emotions.

"Its a shame we are mated to the wrong people, otherwise you and I would have ruled the world" he whispers, still not looking at you.

Your breath catching in your throat, your heavy heart pangs with emotion, exaggerated from the effects of the ethanol.

"At least she knows you are her mate Lucien... he doesn't even know about me," you miserably mutter.

You feel Luciens hot gaze rest on you as you look up into his deep eyes.

There's no doubt the turmoil of seeing each other's mates together shines in both of your eyes, but behind the pathetic nature of the situation, a force glint shines through his.

"Then why don't we tell him, Y/N," he urges, a smirk growing on his face.

Your heart drops as you make eye contact with Lucien, his eyes glinting with jealousy and anger.

You had never seen Lucien ever break his calm facades, he always would take whatever Elain would throw at him ; why was he so fired up tonight?

"You have always been so kind to Elain and given her time Lucien, why do you want to make her jealous now?" you voice your thoughts, causing him to look away, as you attempt to search his eyes.

Little did you know or feel, the dark cool gaze that had been assessing you since the moment Lucien had slipped in.

If one were to look through your party at this moment in time, the looks of longing and jealously swirling between you and Lucien could easily have been interpreted as longing and hunger for each other. With now, your full body turned to him, intimately touching him, shoulder to shoulder, anyone could mistake you as a couple.

---

Azriel nodded patiently as he listened to Elain talk about the new plants she wished to acquire from the Dawn Court for her garden.

He was trying so hard to listen and be attentive, but it was difficult when his shadows were buzzing about him, even more frantically, with the effects of the alcohol he had been consuming throughout the night.

He knew the amount of pumps of the vanilla perfume you had sprayed onto yourself, he knew how many times you had sighed throughout the night and he knew of the half-moon marks on your hands. His shadows told him everything, even when he didn't want to know.

For he didn't want to know the looks Lucien and you were giving each other, he didn't want to acknowledge the clenching of your thighs or the hand on your thigh or the-

"-So what do you think Azriel?"

Elains sweet voice cut in deeply through his silent spiralling, as he hummed coming back to the present.

Her big doe eyes innocently looked up at him as he racked his brain for what she had been asking about.

"YES I think the plants would be wonderful-," he began, when his shadows started screaming, "Elain excuse me one moment."

He quickly got up, his eyes narrow and jaw clenching as he went to get out of the booth in haste.

Elains eyes followed him and they widened slightly.

Luciens' hands were on your waist, holding you up from behind, as you both made your way to the dance floor, giggling.

---

read [ part two ] here deariess <3

#angst acotar #acotar #enemies to lovers #rhysand x reader #azriel x reader #cassian x reader #azriel acotar #acotar memes #jealous azriel #elain x lucien #elain archeron #feyre archeron #sarah j maas #lucien vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x reader #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #rhys x reader #morrigan

[happysaddca]

This is. Incredibly self-indulgent and requires context.

You are a veteran FazCo employee who worked as a janitor (and eventually dates that location's DCA) when the Glitchtrap virus infects the plex. Unlike the game, this virus affects all the mega pizzaplexes, and it leads to you getting mauled by Moon. You nearly die, the DCA is deactivated and replaced after the virus mysteriously vanishes, and eventually you start working at a new plex, with a new DCA and staff.

After a long and bumpy road, you finally have your DCA's chips installed in a functional animatronic. It's time for a reunion.

Parts and Service still creeps you out, even with the changes the tech team here made. At the very least, you’re allowed to wait in the cylinder instead of outside with everyone else. 

You take a peek through the glass, catching Gemma and Anika watching you. Your body locks up, and you manage a stiff little wave before focusing on Sun behind them. Sun isn’t watching you (at least, you’re pretty sure he’s not). Sun’s watching the body on the table. Your turn back to it as well. 

It’s another Daycare Attendant unit, currently completely off. The color changing material of the animatronic’s pants and paint sits at a muted, muddy brown color, the light not bright enough to bring out Sun’s colors but too bright for Moon’s. When you touch its faceplate, it’s cold, unmoving. It’s an older model, a spare body for the DCA standing outside. And it currently holds the chip that is your 

That is your Sun and Moon. 

“Everything good in there?” Gemma’s voice is tinny over the speakers. You nod quickly, giving a thumb’s up. “Okay, I need you to back away for a second. Gotta plug in and give the OS one last check before we power them up.” 

“Okay.” You give a reluctant half step back, then another at Gemma’s prompting, retreating closer to the wall and the people outside. Overhead, electricity thrums as the diagnostics and repair tools come online, a cable snaking down to plug into the back of the animatronic’s head. “You’ll warn me when they’re about to be turned on, right?” No answer. “Guys?” 

The sounds overhead changes, with a chime sequence signaling that no, you were in fact not being warned ahead of time.. Some pseudo-soothing, corporate beeps that remind you of commercials advertising anti-depressants begin, but when you go to approach the body again, the speaker crackles on. 

“Stay right there.” 

“But I want—” You’re cut off before you can even turn to face the trio waiting outside. 

Anika’s frown is made more severe by scarring distorting her forehead. 

“We don’t know how they’re going to react to being woken up for the first time in three years. For them, it’s only been a moment since they shut down, and we don’t really know how that… hey. Don’t look like that. I thought you’d already worked past the guilt.” 

“No, I have. But. I.” Another chime sequence has you whipping back around, but there’s no change. You shift so you can keep half an eye on what’s happening while you’re talking to everyone on the outside. 

“Sunshine.” Sunny speaks over Anika, leaning forward to take the microphone. “Think about what might happen if they come online and hurt you.”

“It’d be—”

“It’d be an accident, but.” Sunny holds up one long finger, indicating that you should wait. You look back at the table again, but there’s still nothing to indicate what’s going on. “Friend, turn your screen around. They’re going to be fretful unless they know what’s going on.” 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Gemma turns one of the monitors around, showing off a series of progress bars that you don’t know what they mean. She taps the monitor. “Once this hits a hundred percent, they’ll boot up.” 

“Thank you.” The lump in your throat eases, just a little. You stare at the little bars slowly working its way up. 

“Sunshine.” Sunny catches your attention with his talking-to-children-about-complex-topics voice. “We should stay here until the other attendant wakes up and has a moment to process that they aren’t affected by the virus—and that they’re safe.” 

“As safe as they can be in here,” you mumble, and Sunny’s smile widens as he gives a small nod, setting the microphone back on the table. The progress bar fills ever so slowly, and any noise behind you makes you twitch and look back at the animatronic with concern. Your palms itch, suddenly slick, and you wipe at them quickly before shoving them in the pockets of your overalls. 

Overalls. You are bringing back your oldest, dearest friend that you’ve not seen in years and you’re wearing the world’s most fucked up, stained overalls. And that does count farmers and mechanics around the world. You take a peek at the progress bar and—how has it jumped up 30% already? It had been dragging just a minute ago! There’s now no way you can slip away into something better, and of course you couldn’t have gone anyway. 

The noise from overhead changes, and there’s an error sound, sharp and blunt, followed by the mechanical squeak of the monitor getting jerked back around to Gemma. “Anika, can you grab the thingie?”

“The thingie?” 

Gemma gestures vaguely behind her and Sun, who is standing frozen, rays partially retracted as he stares at the table. Anika zips off to find whatever it is Gemma needs, but you’re turning away again, watching as the spare daycare attendant unit twitches. 

“Sun?” you ask, stepping closer. The animatronic twitches again, one hand, then a whole leg, spastic and out of control like it’s being electrocuted in bits and pieces. Their rays start to poke out, then snap back into place with an audible click. One gets stuck, tangled up in white and blue fabric. “Moon, Sun, it’s okay,” you say, voice barely audible over their fans starting and immediately going into overdrive. “You’re safe. It’s me.” 

“Sunshine!” Sunny’s voice breaks when you are close enough to touch the twitching attendant’s foot. 

Your ears pop as the doors open, and you twitch, turning just enough to hold out a hand. “Sunny, it’s okay. I know but… they’re glitching out. I think they’re going to Eclipse.” 

“All the more reason to stay away!”

“You stay there if it makes you comfortable, but if they’re Eclipsing…” You turn back in time to catch the rays spring out, a handful caught in the hat, shredding into it. “I’m staying. Sun? Moon?”

There’s no reply from the animatronic, just more twitching and spasming. You want to free the rays from their hat, but this early model has no silicone softening the metal edges. They’re just a bunch of very dull knives and with no consciousness controlling their movements. You settle for touching their shoe instead, feeling the twitching of their actuators. Are they in pain? Can they feel anything at all?

“Hey, be careful in there! I’m unplugging the cords now and sometimes they can be a little whippy.” You grimace, pulling away as far as you could without relinquishing your touch over the moon patch. You give a thumbs up without looking away. 

The cords are a little whippy, jerking away from the table and snapping back into the ceiling with such force that it makes them look alive. You hate Parts and Services. 

“We’re at ninety percent now. Sunny, if you can step back? We don’t know how they’ll react to another Attendant hovering.”

“Right… right.” Sunny’s voice is closer, and you’re surprised to find he’d crept well inside the cylinder, the distance between the two of you halved. He holds his hands up, retreating back to the door. You stare and he gives a timid little shrug, his faceplate tilted towards the now waking animatronic. 

You’ve been around FazCo branded animatronics for ten years now, been in love with one, this one, for almost as long. Even in a new body, even Eclipsed, you know they’re waking from the change in their fans, slowing briefly with a little click clatter click before returning to overdrive. The foot under your hand twitches one last time before stilling and pulling away.

There’s static, climbing up your arm and into your mind as you look up. There’s static there too, a thin, trembling stream from Eclipse’s hidden speakers. They’re staring at you, eyes locked on. You shift, and they shift, ever so slightly, eyes tracking the scars visible on your face. 

“Eclipse?” you ask, holding a hand up as they start to answer. “No, it’s okay. I-I am happy to see you. You’re here. You’re safe. You’re both safe, right?” 

You have to walk around the table. They still watch you, hands limp at their side until you reach for the nearest one. They flinch away, dragging their hand into their lap, claws catching on the coarse material of their waist ruffle. Once, a long time ago, you’d asked about those claws and Moon had explained they used to play stringed instruments, just like the glamrocks did now. 

“You won’t hurt me,” you tell them, taking their hand anyway and squeezing it so hard you can feel a joint in your wrist pop. You toy with one of the claws with your thumb, worrying the little gear that makes it flip back into their fingers, sighing softly. “You didn’t hurt me.” 

You look up to see them staring at you, and despite things, you give a little laugh. A wet laugh, something sticking in your throat uncomfortably. “It wasn’t you Moon.” 

You don’t know how or when, but a cold hand brushes over the ruined half of your face, stroking the skin just under your eye. It pulls back, metal shiny with tears. You laugh again, hiccuping and holding your free hand up to your face as you force yourself to calm down. “I’m okay. I’m here. You’re here. I missed you so much you big stupid dummy.” 

You can’t wait any longer, so you throw yourself at Eclipse, worming your hands under their arms, tucking your face carefully under their faceplate, away from the metal rays. They can’t see you crying like this, but it’s an ugly messy, human thing and their neck ruffle is horrifically itchy. The slow weight of hands on your back make you sob, voice breaking. 

There’s a few minutes that are likely very awkward for everyone not currently on or half on the cylinder’s table, but you don’t notice any change until there are claws digging in your back. “Eclipse,” you mumble, lifting your head, but the hands pin you to their torso. “Eclipse, what’s wrong?”

“I-it might be me!” Sunny’s voice trips over itself. “I, we, all of us wanted to make sure you were okay?”

“I’m okay,” you say, a little too softly at first. You feel up for Eclipse’s cheek, stroking it gently. “‘Clips, let me up. Sunny isn’t going to hurt us.” 

The hands dig, and you can feel those claws in your skin, but they loosen as you continue to push up. You settle on the table a little awkwardly, perched to avoid hurting Eclipse with your weight. You wipe at your eye, trying to clear your vision, before taking Eclipse’s hand again. “Sorry Sunny. I know things aren’t going as planned but…” You clear your throat, smiling weakly. “Sunny, this is Clips. They Daycare Attendant from my old plex. Eclipse, this is Sunny. He’s the Daycare Attendant here in Sandusky. He uh, he helped convince me it was worth trying to save you.” You hesitate. “He and his Moon went through it too,” you say more softly. Eclipse’s grip tightens on you and Sunny grimaces. “We’ll talk about it later, when everyone’s recovered. Sunny, move.” You gesture and he gives you a confused look before stepping out of the way.

Anika and Gemma are staring through the thick plexi of the cylinder. Gemma’s mouth is hanging open, but Anika looks vaguely smug. You hold up your entwined hands in a wave. “That’s Gemma and Anika. Gemma helped get this body back online and you in it, and Anika helped me save you. We saved you.” Oh, you’re starting to cry again. 

“Welcome back to the world of the living.” Gemma’s voice is clipped, and she turns her monitor back to you. You can just barely see some graphs and charts, but the orangey-red lines, and the continued strain of Eclipse’s fans clue you in before Gemma can. 

“Oh, oh, Eclipse, you need to restart with just one of you fronting.” You turn back to them, catching them staring at you once again. You twist around to hold their face, stroking over the edge and the craters, finding the large swirl of an eyebrow before you reach their hat. They flinch as you pull at it. “I know. But I’ll stay right here the entire time. I won’t even let go of your hand.” 

“Sunshine, that’s—”

“I’m staying right here Sunny,” you say, a little more sharply than you meant to sound, but the intent remains. You don’t look away from Eclipse, leaning forward to press a kiss over the moon’s eye. “I am staying right here. You can restart. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” 

Eclipse stares, and there’s a long, long minute where you worry they’re going to refuse until they burn out but finally there’s a soft stream of static and a nod. Eclipse leans forward as you pull on their hat, freeing it incrementally from their rays. The light from their eyes dims and goes out, their fans slowing a couple minutes later. You pull the hat free successfully, their hand slipping from yours as you check over the fabric. It’s torn and greasy where it’d gotten caught in the gears, but you can probably fix it, if they want. Or perhaps you’ll be able to get help remaking their old hat, if that’s what they preferred.  

“Is everything all right?” Sunny’s voice is quiet, and his hand is soft as it rests on your shoulder. You twitch but don’t pull away, watching your attendant’s faceplate intently for any flicker of light. “They’ll turn on again.” 

“I know they will. But will they be able to let go? It’s got to be Moon, I think. It’s always been more willing to take control.” Sunny’s gentle verbal prodding compels you to continue. “Sun’s a softie, even if she does have a spine about the rules, her rules. The ones that are important to her. She tried so hard…” You trail off into a cough, swallowing back the lump wrong and making it worse on yourself. You have to wipe at your eyes again, sniffing hard. “But if Moon is scared or upset, they might Eclipse again.”

The startup is quieter, so you miss it in your talking to Sunny, until you feel more than hear the thrum of the animatronic’s inner workings. Sunny steps back, out of reach, when the rays retract, one at a time, jerkily, like the mechanism controlling them is unfamiliar to the Moon currently in control. Because it’s Moon who is waking up now, and it’s Moon’s gravelly voice that lets out a surprised noise when you immediately push into a hug. 

“Starlight?” 

The nickname is enough to make you cry again, and you squeeze him so tightly your arms hurt. “I’m here Moony. I’m here. And I’m never leaving you again.” 

#dca au #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant #constellations au #fnaf dca #dca #dca fandom #moon fnaf #sun fnaf #eclipse fnaf #dca ocs #reader insert #gender neutral reader

[yeahnahalrightfairenough]

You are the best of the best, which is why you were hired to take out Kyle Garrick.

Gaz x gn!reader

Warning: murder, no explicit scenes only stated, sad gaz. Terrible writing

Walking into the nightclub you were quick to make two observations, Garrick was in a darkened corner of the club and he wasn’t alone. Making your way toward bar you studied his companions. The rest of the 141, you turn your sights to Garrick to find that his already watching you, you smirk making a show of checking him out before you reach the bar. It only takes 40 minutes and you’re both in your hotel room.

You didn’t kill him that night, you meant to but he tired you out. He was a lot better than you were expecting and you decided that it can wait until morning. But morning came and he was up first and left to bring back breakfast. The day went on and you had found plenty of opportunities to take him out but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. He was sweet and was treating you like a princess even though he only met you less the than 12 hours earlier.

The day rolled into weeks and the months until it hit the three month mark since you first set out to kill Kyle and you had still failed to complete you’re task. It wasn’t as if you didn’t have the opportunity, you had plenty, in the short time he has known you he has fallen for you. Even going as fair to introduce to his team that , aside from Ghost, seem to trust you as well. So why is it that you seem unable to complete your mission? It seem you have fallen who him too.

It might have been the constant dates or constant sex, it might be the fact that in the first time in your life you are getting treated like you are human and not a monster or a machine. It could even be the look he gives you when he comes to you home after a long day, a look that seems to be calling you his home. You had fallen hard for him and your contacts were pissed.

Sitting on Kyle in the living room while a movie plays to no one, you have only made progress in removing his shirt when you notice it. Something was wrong, you go to pull away from him, when the sound of clicking makes you both freeze in place. A gun presses into the back of Kyles head and you look up to see Graves sneering down at you.

“Please, let her go and we can talk about this”

You look at Kyle in shock as Graves begins to laugh “if she had done her job in the first place, we wouldn’t of had to worry about any of this in the first place” Kyle face drops, a broken look crossing his face as he stare up at you. You lift you self of him mumbling an apology as you get up and look back at Graves “I’m sorry I failed you sir.” He studies you for a moment before reaching his free hand to his side and pulling out a knife “make it up to me. Finish your mission now” handing you the knife, you stare down at Kyle, who you note, had started tearing up at the full reality of the situation dawned on him, Ghost had been right.

You shift the knife towards his throat with a sigh, “Shame it had to end this way,” half a second later the direction of the knife shifted arching up instead, into Graves throat instead of his. “I think I would’ve fallen in love with you Garrick” you yanked the knife out of Graves throat and slammed the hilt into Kyles temple.

A few hours later he awoke to Price looking down at him. “What happened” he said, his head spinning. “Could ask you the same thing mate. You share you location with us, only for us to get here to a dead body and you taking a nap” He sits up to fast, grasping the side of his head he still looks around desperately for you. You had left without a trace of you ever being there in the first place.

#kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick x reader #cod modern warfare #ghost cod #john price #gaz x reader #kyle garrick #gaz cod

[jcbbby]

🖕🖤

Reader helps jamie to deal with his drug/alchool addiction (kinda couterfeit!jamie)

🎉JCBBBY'S 500 FOLLOWER PARTY🎉

hello hello! thank you for celebrating this milestone with me, and for being here! <3 there's no sentence prompt, but I still hope you like this! I'm sorry this is a little short! - warnings: mention of alcohol genre: angst and fluff -

Counterfeit was on the road around the UK, touring in earnest for the first time. Jamie had invited you out on the road with them, not wanting to be apart for the couple weeks they'd be gone. You of course agreed, wanting to be supportive of his music. But you also wanted to be there as a support system. Jamie had quit alcohol just a few months ago, and you were admittedly a little nervous to have him go out on tour, playing mainly in bars.

The band was well aware of his teetotalism. They had all witnessed the deterioration of his mental health due to his excessive drinking. But you were wary about four young men active in night life being able to keep tabs on the one who wasn't.

They had just finished their third show, in Glasgow, and Tristan had suggested they check out a local bar that his friend had recommended. It was late in the evening now, most things to do were closed, but no one was tired so you all decided to check it out. Jamie had been getting a little antsy, having to be around intoxicated people as a sober one, so you gave a quick squeeze of his hand in support.

"Two waters, with a lemon, please." You smiled, ordering for yourself and Jamie at the bar.

You had promised him that you also wouldn't drink, so he didn't feel so alone. He assured you that you didn't need to, but you were happy to act in solidarity.

"That all?" The bartender asked in a thick Scottish accent.

"Yes, just the waters, thanks!" You smiled politely back as the bartended cocked an eye, but eventually turned to the tap to fill the glasses.

"Can I get a Heineken and two shots of Absolut?" Jimmy asked the other bartender next to the two of you.

Jamie watched intently as the bartender poured the shots and set them down in front of Jimmy. Within just 10 seconds, he had thrown them both back before the bartender could retrieve and open the beer bottle. You noticed Jamie's tense demeanor, handing him his glass of water.

"Hey, you alright?" You asked, lightly touching his shoulder.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine...just...wondering when it gets less weird to not drink in a bar." He chuckled.

You returned the chuckle, caressing his bicep. "It will eventually...do you want to head back to the hotel instead?"

He shook his head. "No, no. I ought to get used to this, right?"

"Okay, well...if you want to leave, just let me know." You smile, linking your arm with his, as you walked over to a small booth that the other bandmates had claimed.

As the night wore on, the rest of the band got progressively more intoxicated and lively. In contrast, however, you noticed Jamie growing more reserved and quiet. He alerted the group that he was heading outside for a smoke and got up from the table. You followed him out and found him leaned against the brick outer wall on the sidewalk taking a drag.

"Hey." You smiled.

"I can't take it." He shook his head. "I just need something. Like even half a beer. I'm so fucking painfully sober and they're all having a great time... I just... fuck." He took another drag.

"Hey, hey... it's okay if you're not ready to be around this yet." You leaned against the wall next to him.

"I just...I just wish I could control it. It sucks being the odd one out, you know?"

You nodded. "I know...but, you know, you're not alone. There are lots of people who have been where you have been."

He exhaled a puff of smoke. "Yeah... I just didn't know it would be so hard. I mean, I knew it would be tough. But, I don't know...it's just isolating."

"Maybe right now it does. But eventually, it will be your normal. You know, you don't have to go out to bars with the mates every time. You're allowed to say no thank you, and go eat snacks in bed with a cup of tea instead." You smiled.

"That does sound lovely, actually..." He turned to you with a gentle smile.

"What do you say we check out the room service at the hotel and see what's on local TV, hmm?"

He flicked his cigarette to the ground, snuffing it out with his boot. "Yeah, alright. Let's take this party back home." He winked.

Jamie texted the rest of the guys, letting them know that the two of you were calling it a night. You walked through the busy streets of Glasgow, back to the hotel. As planned, you both got into your pajamas and snuggled up in bed together. Jamie rang down to room service, ordering a kettle of tea and various snacks. The rest of the night feeling a lot less tense, and you couldn't help but beam with pride knowing that Jamie would be alright. He would find settle into his new normal just fine.

#jcbbby 500 follower party! #jamie campbell bower rpf #jamie bower rpf #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie bower x reader #jamie campbell bower fanfic #jamie bower fanfic

[justagirlfr]

I don’t want to play this part but I do, all for you.

Noah Diaz x fem!reader (angst)

tw: death, blood

summary: the CIA find out you’ve been hiding an autobot and want some answers.

a/n: my writing is progressively getting worse. Sorry guys ��

—

The government agents had burst through your apartment unexpectedly. The wooden door was chopped in half by one large black boot, while many more swarmed into the living room which was once very cosy. You and Noah had been on your couch, him holding you while you told him about your day. Your head immediately lifted off of his shoulder at the sound of the door but he held you close, arms tightening around your waist to keep you safe.

When they started filing in, two by two through your small door, he rose from the couch and put an arm in front of you. "What the fuck?"

"CIA, you're both under arrest for assisting in the hiding of government property." A group of the men dressed in heavy black gear surrounded the two of you, and you quickly latched onto Noah as one of them grabbed your wrist.

"Noah!"

At your voice, he lunged forward, trying to fight whoever was harming you. "Get away from her!" He was grabbed by another agent and whipped backward. You heard his violent thrashing as they pulled the two of you apart.

Harsh, cold metal encircled both of your wrists and you were forced against a wall. The impact of the scaffolding against your forehead made you see stars, and you weren't sure if the scream you were hearing was yours or not. You could hear your name from a distance away, and you yearned to reach whoever was calling for you. They sounded so desperate, but your vision clouded over as more bodies pressed around you, suffocating you. Your head was slammed into the wall again, and the last thing you heard was a gunshot before you were out.

—

When you came to, you were instantly blinded by the white lights above you. There was something soft, but firm underneath you, and as you tried to get up you recognized the soft feeling of bedsheets. Where were you?

You squinted, eyes adjusting to the brightness surrounding you. It made your head throb to rise, but having no clue about where you were or what you were doing there made it a necessity to stay upright.

It was cold in the little cell you were confined in. There were bars to your space, but looking outside of them, all you could see was grey concrete. You tried to stand up from the bed, but soon fell onto the floor. Your ankles were shackled together, and your hands cuffed. The fall hurt like hell, you not being able to break your fall with your hands. 

"She's awake sir," you heard a voice nearby say. "Shall I move her to interrogation?" A crackle of static and a muffled voice rang from what sounded like the other end of a walkie talkie. "Right away, sir."

A man in black appeared in front of your cell, and his uniform was enough to give you flashbacks of previous events. 

Scared, you backed onto your cot and into the corner. "Stay away," your voice was hoarse and raspy, but it conveyed your message. Your heart was beating out of control from within your chest and you willed yourself to calm down, to stay level-headed while you figured out the fuck was going on. 

"I'm going to need you to come with me," the man said, unlocking your cell. "You make any wrong move, and your friend is dead."

A wave of anxiety rolled over you, and suddenly you could care less about what would happen to you. 

The man, his features hard, unforgiving, and stern, motioned for you to follow him out of the small room. You complied without a second thought. You loved Noah so much, and even though the two of you weren't really together, you would have happily risked your life for him any day. Worry continued to claw at you as you headed down the long, dimly lit concrete hallway. There were other cells that you passed by on your way to the exit, which appeared to be two double doors with mesh wiring on both sides of the glass rectangular windows that they adorned with. The other cells held people strapped into straight-jackets who seemed dastardly and absolutely evil. As you moved, they shouted nasty comments at you and the security guard. He beckoned you to move more swiftly. 

Once you had made it through the exit, the man took you threw a series of white hallways until you got to one sterile, grey room with a metal table in the middle of it. There were two chairs there too, which you had assumed were for you and whoever would be conducting the interrogation. Scared, you approached the door silently and felt the breeze of the heavy door close behind you. A feeling of annoyance and anger began to stir in your stomach as soon as you took a seat in one of the chairs. Why the heck had a bunch of CIA people barged into your place in the middle of the night? And why had they taken you and your best friend? Shit, that would cost a fuck ton of money to repair, and you didn't want the landlord to be even more pissed at you. You could taste a little bile in your mouth, probably from your frustration. You didn't want to seem angry but you were. The interrogation would probably run more smoothly if you kept your cool.

After what seemed like an eternity, someone finally stepped in to see you. It was another man, one with a slicked-back hairstyle and sunglasses. He was pretty tall and bulky, and you figured they had chosen him because you seemed like the type to be easily intimidated. Which, to be fair, you were. 

"So," he began, taking a seat and staring dead at you. "You wanna tell me why I found 'places to hide a huge alien robot' in your search history?"

Fuck…

"I don't know what you're talking about," you attempt nonchalantly, trying to casually lean back in your chair. "I've never seen a space robot in my life."

"Sure. And your friend, Noah, he knows this?" 

Your blood began to boil at the mention of Noah, but at the same time the anxiety in your stomach made you want to throw up. "Yeah."

"Funny, because he told us something different." You continue to stare at him dead-on, rolling your eyes for a laid-back effect. This was probably some technique they used on people to get information out of them. Noah wouldn't have said anything, he's too good at this for that. 

"You know," he says, carefully. "We've heard that you have a pretty strong attachment to him. Is this true?" He grins at you smugly. 

"No, it's not. Look, I had invited him over to hang out, hoping to have a one-night thing with him. It's really not like that at all." But your smile falters, and you know that you've already lost. 

"Well if that's the case," he sighs and smiles. "You won't have a problem with us, well, terminating him, correct? He's of no use to us, and we find that the projects in our little sector of government are best hidden." 

You hesitate from making any moves. This is probably another trick, right? It's not legal to do stuff like that. But then again, from what he said, it seems sort of like the laws don't fully apply wherever you are. 

"We don't know anything you're talking about, I swear," you get out after a minute. "I mean, I guess, if you want the truth…" Your palms are sweaty and you wipe them on your pants. 

Your interrogator looks at you expectantly. 

"Okay, there was this car that I bought from a shop. It transformed, freaked the hell out of me, but told me that if I hid it it would still be my car. And you know, I got it for a cheap price- it's a Porsche. It was pretty broken when I got it, but I fixed it up and it's limited edition now. And I don't want to just let that go, you know?" You attempt to lighten the mood up with your story, hoping it makes you sound trustworthy. "I seriously don't know where it is, it was in the apartment garage parked in my space. But I assume you guys have already checked there. It's the most obvious place to put something like that. Your CIA shit probably scared him off and he's long gone. He never trusted me much, anyway." You refrain from swallowing out of nervousness, knowing it will only make you more suspicious. 

He looks at you, unimpressed. "I know that's not the story, kid." 

"Wait-" 

He gets up from his chair and says into what you assume is a hidden mic on his lapel, "bring in the kid."

The door swings open abruptly to reveal a frantic looking Noah. He's doing his best to shove the two guards off of him, until he sees you. Then his movements become more manic. He screams your name and is immediately tasered. 

"Noah!" you yell. "Let him go! Stop!"

They stop, and Noah falls to his knees on the ground. You get up from your chair abruptly and try to make your way to him, but your interrogator stops you. "Talk, or he'll suffer."

There are tears bubbling in your eyes. You can't reveal where Mirage is, but you can't let Noah get hurt like this. "Fuck," you whisper. 
Suddenly, an explosion throws you against a wall and you feel one of the metal chairs bash into your stomach. You grunt loudly, ears ringing and vision clearing as the smoke around you settles. You shout for Noah, but with your ringing ears it's hard to tell if you really did. It smells like burning flesh, and you gag, pulling your shirt up to cover your nose as you crawl around the ground, head spinning and wanting to vomit. As desperate seconds pass, you begin to hear sounds of gunshots, and you feel the rubble around you shake. You touch the hand of someone else, and from there the rest of the body appears. 
"God, I was so scared," Noah seems to say, pulling you into his arms. His cuffs must have severed during the explosion. The impact seemed to have knocked the wind out of him too, but noticing the unconscious guard next to him, you surmise that he must have cushioned Noah's fall. Noah pulls the both of you up and gets you moving towards what remains of the most affected wall. You're hopping clumsily across the debris, and you continue until you spot the Autobots within range of the two of you. But before you can get to them, there's a shout from behind you. You turn to look, and see the interrogator coming after you and Noah with his gun drawn. 
Before you can warn Noah, he fires. 

Time slows as you envision the bullet hitting your best friend, the guy who's been there for you through everything. It's sad, you think. Because you'll never be able to tell him how much you wished you were more than friends. 

Optimus kicks the guy away before he does any more damage, but you're already collapsed on the ground. Noah has you in his arms again, like every other time in your life, and you're happy that in your last moments, he's the person you get to see. 

"Fuck, Noah-"  The red was everywhere. It was on your hands, your clothes, Noah. It smelled like blood. It tasted like blood. You could hear the blood oozing from you. "Noah, I'm," you take a painful, absolutely excruciating breath, "I don't, I'm not feeling so- so hot right now-"

"Shh, shhh," Noah holds you closer to him, sobbing. "Stay awake, okay? Prime is holding them off, and Mirage is on his way to get us. He's so close, just stay with me. Please."

You touch your stomach tentatively, feeling the pool of stickiness spread onto your fingers. You gasp at the sight of it. "Don't look at it, look at me." He holds you halfway up, using one hand to gently turn your head to face his. 

"Noah-" you gasp. "Noah-"

"Don't talk, Mirage is almost here," he cries. He brings his forehead down to yours. "Stay with me, please."

"Noah- I-"

Mirage's engine revs from behind the two of you and Noah scoops you up in his arms. He makes his way urgently to Mirage's open doors, but slips on the pool of your blood and ends up on the ground again. He shields you from most of the gravity of the fall, the both of you landing on his back as your writhe in pain. Noah gets up quickly, picking you up again and shoving the both of you into the backseat. 

"I love-" Noah shushes you, kissing you softly. 

"Save it for later," he cries. "Don't tell me that because you think you won't be there to properly say it later."

The drive to the hospital is sharp and noisy. Mirage tries his best to weave through traffic, overlooking any laws or rules of the road in order to get you to the emergency room as fast as possible. Your eyes close, unable to stay awake any longer. "I love you," you whisper, and then he's gone. 

–

˜ Bonus ˜

Noah can't bring himself to show up at your funeral. He should be there, to say one last goodbye, but it physically hurts to remember you, knowing that you never got to hear him say he loves you back. Mirage tries his best to be there for Noah, but he's reeling with grief too. The both of them spend their time at the warehouse with the other autobots, all grieving from the loss still. He's kept the clothes that are soaked in your blood hanging on the back of his bedroom door. It's gross, it's disgusting, it's weird. He knows all of this, yet he can't let go of the last part of you he got to see. Today at the warehouse, he's all alone. The autobots are showing up to pay their respects in their alt forms, and plan on recording the event for Noah in case he ever regrets not being able to show up. They don't blame him though, all he's feeling is the regret of never being able to tell you what he really felt about you. He never got to touch your hair, the both of you being happy and in love. He never got to kiss you on your wedding day. Never get to dream about it, ever again. He feels like he'll never feel anything forever. 

#rotb mirage #tf rotb #transformers #transformers rotb #x reader #noah diaz x reader #noah diaz #angst #heavy angst #major character death

[lurkingshan]

The End of the World With You

I’ll include my watch notes under a cut since I binged it and it’s long af, but the TL;DR: I really loved the first half of this but it kind of fell apart in the second half for me. On the one hand, I found the initial conflict very compelling, thought the actors had good chemistry, the show was beautiful to look at, and as @bengiyo has highlighted, it was really nice to see a show featuring an explicit queer sexual relationship leave the characters on a happy, hopeful note, if not a straightforward HEA. Ultimately though I came down agreeing with @waitmyturtles that the emotional arc just didn’t ring true. In particular, it felt like Ritsu became a totally different character in the last few episodes and it didn’t work for me despite my appreciation for some of those scenes.

I also just could not get into the whole side story about Madoka, which might be my own discomfort with stan culture and parasocial relationships getting in the way. But it took up a lot of story time and we ended up with some shortcuts in the main narrative as a result. I think a version of this show that focused more narrowly on Ritsu and Masumi repairing their relationship and finding peace with each other in their final days might have worked better.

All that aside, I am very curious what people are making of that weird ending and Yuma’s magic powers. Do we think he stopped the meteor?

Episode 1

* I like how they set this slightly in the future to give us a sense that this could be happening to us any day now, very strong doom vibes.

* Trying to imagine what I would do if I found out the world was about to end. Masumi wastes the day away playing on his phone and then heads to the library to spend his final days in quiet solitude. I think I’d probably gather up my friends and buy a ton of food and drinks and just hunker down to ride it out together.

* I love that the moment of recognition between Masumi and Ritsu was not when they first looked at each other, but when their hands touched. That’s when they both froze, like a sense memory took them over.

* Ritsu is gorgeous and he has read and enjoyed Masumi’s writing. How could anyone resist?

* This may just be me benefiting from hindsight since I already know some stuff about how the show progresses, but Ritsu does seem to sincerely connect with Masumi. He will turn out to be a horrible boyfriend but it’s not because he doesn’t like him.

Episode 2

* I remember reading some commentary toward the end of the show airing about how intensely Ritsu is focused on Masumi during sex, and it’s here too in their earlier scenes. He’s watching him closely and seems to enjoy making him feel good. Whether that’s because of any feelings he has for Masumi or his own ego remains to be seen.

* “I feel like you’re special” and “I really love you” and kissing him publicly at school and when Masumi catches him with a girl Ritsu just says “sorry that was rude”?? Jail for this man.

* Poor Masumi. Trying to get a fuckboy to love you never works (barring an apocalyptic event, apparently). But I get it, it was the first time he felt comfortable with his sexuality and it’s hard to let go of someone you’re that compatible with.

* Masumi is being pathetic but Ritsu threatening to out him is truly so vile. Back to jail!

* Ritsu trying to act like they’re old friends after things ending like that… I want to reach through the screen and slap him.

* I like this song playing at the end of the episodes, it’s pretty. (ETA: I found it - Futatabi by HIROBA feat Ai Otsuka)

* Help him with a what now??

Episode 3

* Okay I had memory-holed the corpse thing, yikes.

* Now why exactly is Ritsu running around with euthanasia drugs?

* If I was Masumi I would simply not follow my cheating ex boyfriend when he says he is going to take me to a corpse.

* The corpse is alive!! And says Ritsu told him they would die together? He truly is a POS, phew.

* This kid wanted to die because his favorite idol died by suicide? That is too unfortunately believable.

* Masumi convincing the kid to go on living only to be immediately reminded that the world is ending is so darkly funny.

* Yuma! He has a name.

* Is Ritsu really trying to get it in in this situation?? The AUDACITY of this man.

* Masumi yelling at Ritsu about how traumatic their relationship was for him is great and also unflinchingly honest. I think most people in that situation would try to keep a little pride and pretend to be unaffected.

* Damn big of you to promise a whole week of fidelity, Ritsu.

* Masumi immediately getting horny when surrounded by Ritsu’s scent. 💀

Episode 4

* Ya know I suppose if we were all about to die and I had convenient access to the best sex of my life I might just go for it, pride be damned.

* Masumi grew up abused and neglected with a hateful mother. Yep, that tracks.

* “My personal philosophy is for people to prioritize themselves.” Yeah we know, Ritsu.

* I like the energy Yuma is bringing to the story. Masumi and Ritsu are so gloomy.

* Oh fuck this. What we’re not going to do at the end of the world is waste time tending to our abusive parents.

* I don’t believe Masumi’s mother regrets what she’s done to him. She only regrets that she’s dying alone. Hoo boy, feeling a bit trigged tbh!

* Masumi, IMO this is a great time to adopt Ritsu’s personal philosophy.

* Ritsu is an asshole but he saved Masumi from himself in this moment.

Episode 5

* Why are we still paying for hotels during the apocalypse?

* Does Yuma know this girl? Looks like yes! And she knows Ritsu? Who is Rikkun?? What is happening!

* The creepy music and weird lighting - what is is trying to tell me about Meguru? Is it just that she’s trans? That doesn’t seem worth the mystery doom treatment.

* So Ritsu actually was suicidal for some reason he is not yet disclosing.

* Kido! Here to play another POS, no doubt. That escalated quickly, what a creep.

* I, too, thought Yuma might be controlling the weather.

Episode 6

* I’m sure all of this talk about the idol sister is supposed to be touching but I’m too distracted by the implausibility of this group of people with all these convenient connections to each other’s traumas just happening to meet up while running around in an apocalypse.

* This whole emotional thread hinging on Yuma’s parasocial fixation on an idol he’s never met… mmm, I don’t know, fam.

* I don’t know that I am buying Ritsu’s tears over Masumi getting hurt and his sudden epiphany that he’s a POS. Seems kind of abrupt? And Masumi immediately responding with a kiss and forgiveness? I think the characters could be convincingly taken to this place with more time and development but this feels unearned.

* The Madoka stuff really isn’t working for me. In a show with such a short run time I’d rather they kept a tighter focus on the main pair’s relationship rather than diverting to this side story. And I really don’t buy Ritsu feeling guilty about not saving her. It just doesn’t track with anything else we know about him.

* Sidebar: Baka here is translated as “you ass” but I know this word from We Best Love when Shu Yi keeps calling Shi De an idiot (affectionate).

* This might be the episode where the show lost me. I think they skipped important beats in the emotional arcs and took some narrative shortcuts that didn’t really work (maybe due to the short run time) so I’m not going to fully buy anything that happens from here.

Episode 7

* Ritsu is a romantic now! Okay.

* Surprised to learn Ritsu was with Masumi for six months. How did they make it that long before Masumi realized he was fucking everything that moved?

* Ritsu’s reaction when Madoka called him an asshole for cheating on Masumi felt more genuine. That kind of rye amusement - yep I’m the worst - felt more like him than the guilty crying and suicidal ideation.

* This scene at the waterfall is really beautiful. I like it despite not fully buying some of the underlying emotions.

* Yuma just now realizing they’re “like that” is sending me. His sexual tension detector is clearly faulty.

* Meguru really didn’t think it through when she decided to appear in front of her parents suddenly looking like her dead sister.

Episode 8

* I really wish Yuma and Meguru’s connection was NOT based around Madoka. I think I’d be more into it if they’d scrapped the idol thing and just had them be two kids who met by chance.

* Okay but for real what is with Yuma’s magic powers? It feels so random.

* So after all that Yuma just leaves?

* The fogged up car windows were a nice touch. Kept waiting for Masumi to slap his hand against the glass like Rose.

* Wait Ritsu’s reason for wanting to die was his business was in debt? That’s it??

* I would have liked some flashbacks to Ritsu’s perspective in college. I think it would have made this “I loved you all along and always wanted you back” thing more believable.

* I like that Masumi wants to live on but I also don’t actually believe Ritsu would be faithful if the world wasn’t ending. 😶

* Was that a bare hip bone I spied in this final sex scene? Goodness.

* Dude what the hell. Is Yuma the meteor? Did Yuma magically stop the meteor? What am I supposed to do with this!

#the end of the world with you #bokura no micro na shuumatsu #japanese bl #jdrama #shan shouts into the void

[oblivions-dawn]

Talon, Teeth, and Poison :3

✑ Share a snippet that tugs at your heartstrings- can be sad or happy!

But to her mother, Serana was always more of a protégé than a daughter. Her chest clenched as the memory darkened. Her mother, the only person she had left to trust, suddenly became a stranger. After Molag Bal’s ritual, after her friend—her mother would take no excuses anymore, and always shooed Serana away . . . until it was time to seal her underground for a thousand years. Her teeth clenched as she stared back at a blank, unremorseful expression, with eyes that seemed to deem her unworthy. “Serana . . .” She dropped the crest. Hands slithered and gripped onto her shoulders again. Valerica’s face morphed, cracked and flaked as they burned to death under the sun’s merciless rays. A hand, half disintegrated, reached between the bars and out to her . . . . “This is for the best,” her father whispered cruelly. “Hey!” Serana jumped. Ice-blue eyes glared at her like daggers, embedded in a freckled face with faint yet deep scars and rosy cheeks. It wasn’t her mother or her dying friend—it was Vigdis, the vampire hunter, who stared at her and clutched her shoulders as if to shake her from her nightmare. “I’m—I’m sorry,” Serana professed, her voice weak. “I don’t know what . . .” “I know,” Vigdis said. Her neutral tone, unnaturally, contained a tinge of empathy. “I know.” As Serana collected herself through quiet and uneven breaths, Vigdis let her go. She bent down and picked up the crest that Serana had dropped, then handed it to her. “We have to keep moving,” she admonished coldly. “You’re wasting our time.” The words were a slap to the face for Serana, but it brought her back into the harsh reality she stood in. Vigdis was cold and unkind, unsympathetic to a vampire like her. In those icy eyes, she was still a monster, and whatever empathy she might’ve had for that split second had been blown out like a candle. Their alliance was temporary, Serana reminded herself. Their goal was all that had ever mattered to Vigdis; and she would not tolerate stalls in their progress. [THIS IS THE BAD KIND OF TUGGING AT HEARTSTRINGS BUT TUGGED HEARTSTRINGS THEY STILL ARE LKJDGLSJGL]

✑ Share a snippet that was difficult for you to nail down/required a lot of revisions.

“It took two—TWO—bottles of poison! And seconds of the soup!!” she cried as she pulled off the helmet that disguised her features. “At least you’re dead now, you clawless, useless . . .” The Argonian descended into mutters as she kicked at the corpse. Vigdis hadn’t dropped her guard, and Serana merely looked on in bewilderment. Eventually, the Argonian turned her attention away from the bodies to Vigdis and Serana. A smile spread across her scaly deep pink and vermillion face as her indigo fingers fiddled with the straps of the armour. “Surprised to see me, old friend?” Serana’s dark brows shot up. A snarl rumbled through Vigdis’ throat, as if she hated being called a friend. “Why are you here?” Vigdis demanded. It dawned on Serana that they knew each other. She stayed silent, both curious and wary. The Argonian shrugged. “Killing my contracts.” Her silver slits looked pointedly at the hunter. “Tracking down my other contract.” The horse shifted its weight. The Argonian gave it a look, then continued. “I’m supposed to kill you now.” “You can try,” Vigdis offered seriously. “I’m sure you’d love that,” the Argonian giggled. “But, I won’t.” She finally stripped off the legion armour and revealed a midnight black and crimson red leather bodysuit, complete with belts, various metal fixings, and a hood. “Consider this . . . A debt repaid to Shatha.” Vigdis said nothing as Shatha pulled up her hood. She then threw up two fingers with a grin—and vanished. The hunter gave a deep, irritated sigh. “That was your friend?” Serana asked once the horse started to move again. “She’s not my friend,” Vigdis snapped. “She was someone I knew.” The vampire frowned. “She seemed to think you were friends.” “I don’t have friends.” The hunter clicked her tongue and the horse settled into a gentle trot. “Now shut up and watch the road.” [I remember struggling with this scene--particularly with the portrayal of Shatha, who's my Listener. I wanted to showcase that she was different from most people you come across, and although I'm not sure how well I did, I'm pretty happy with the end results all the same.]

✑ Share a snippet that’s all about relationships (good or bad).

Across the spring, Vigdis stared at her. For a moment, she was completely unreadable to Serana—until her red brows furrowed and her mouth slanted into a deeper frown. “What?” Serana asked, defensive. Vigdis folded her arms, her head tilted as she scowled. “Aren’t you too royal for this kind of shit?” “For—what—a bath?” she sputtered incredulously. “No one’s beyond a bath.” She thought for a moment, then sighed. “I’m not the princess you think I am.” “Really.” The doubt was so thick that Serana almost didn’t catch what she said. “I’m here now, aren’t I?” Vigdis, for once, was quiet. Her scowl was not as harsh as her frown eased back into a natural pout. After a long moment, she tore her gaze away and rinsed off any loose pieces of moss on her shoulders and face. She dunked her head under the water, then resurfaced. After she wiped most of the drops from her ice-blue eyes, she twisted her body around, sunk her hands into the earthy bank, and lifted herself out of the spring. Serana’s persimmon gaze trailed down the hunter’s freckled back and noticed even more scars. When Vigdis paused to swipe off more of the drops, the vampire frowned when she saw her wrists—scars upon scars, new and old. From the way they crisscrossed and dragged across, Serana guessed that she carelessly guarded attacks with her wrist, as if it were a shield. Her eyes flickered to Vigdis’ back again, and slowly traced the soft curves of her waist, the sharp dips of her hips . . . She looked away, her cheeks aflame. She casually swam around the spring, tried to focus on something else; alas, nothing she thought of effectively distracted her mind from Vigdis. Serana groaned to herself. She really needed to learn to not stare. [One of the softer and funnier moments between them that's just worth sharing <3333]

#Senu Responds #Senu's Writing #stormbeyondreality #Skyrim OC #Vigdis #Shatha #Serana #Serana Volkihar #THANK YOU MALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THESE WERE FUNNNNNN

[meestahrel]

I'm writing this down ASAP before I forget, because I just had a stupidly vivid dream and it was insane.

It starts off as a POV and later turns into a video essay on YouTube from a guy with a voice and tone similar to HTwo's.

A guy dressed up as spy (just dressed up, no mockup weapons or anything wlse) and his friend go to a some kind of gathering similar to a comic- or anume- con, but quite a bit amaller and all the merch shops are actual buildings qith everything wlse being under clear aky.

He hoped he would find a shop where he could buy apy's weapons to add to his cosplay, and in the very first one, tucked away in the furthest corner there was a shelf with watches.

Like filled with them. Every single row, with none of them taken.

Guy takes it, and looks at it.

It's the shape of the apy's watch, the glaas vompletely covees the top of the watch, and underneath it is like aome semi-tranaluacent plaatic at the bottom half with buttons painted over, and underneath that layer, you could see a sequence of gears, getting progressively larger with the last one being flush qith the wall of the case, ao you could touch it, and the firat one being impossible to to swe, cuz the wheels are arranget in a shape of a spiral and are progressively getting amaller

He touched the gear and he turned invisible. He walked towards the counter, but he realised that he ACTUALLY qas inbisible.

He got super wxcited, ao he ran out of the shop, still invis, turned right, which was the opposite to the way he came, and hippity-hoppittied around the building, briefly turning visible halfway, but quickly touching the gear again, and turning visible the second time only at the ahop entrance.

He walked in, and said something like: " Man, I'm sorry for running out with this thing like that i just got so damn excited" - while taking it off and putting it in the counter -" how does it do it's thing?"

The cashier(a guy with short blond hair, in a white shirt with red stripes like the american flad but vertically and without the blue rectangle) say:"Oh don't worry, that happens sometimes, and thanks for getting ba-" -when he takes the watch he looks surprised and more confused probably -"i don't know how it works, i don't remember seeing those in the soread sheet, what was on the price tag?"

15 bucks.

The guy gives the money, puts on the watch and goes out while turning invisible.

He walks out, and turns right again, this time going further after turning at the first corner if the building, turning viaible once as well, the time was about 20 seconds? I dunno, i don't remembee already.

Thien, while inviaible he bumps into a little gir, turning visible and catching her at the last second.

The girl looked very... Beaten? Smhting like that. Cuts all ovee her face and arm, qith her right arm missing, and the left one holding onto a walking atick that you usually see old people have, like a metal pipe with tqo bent pipes at the end forming a cross section and having rubber corka at their ends.

This girls cane had three ends, but pipes at the bottom didint crosa, they had their wnds qelded together.

Ah, she had that cane cuz ahe had only her right leg.

She was looking lost and so the guy asked where is aomeone is looking after her, and if she's looking for them.

The girl, who he was supporting by holding her under her hands so that ahe could stand easier, pointed behind him, which was a turn right if we look from the direction he came from.

There was a café with a bar and a dining hall all under a huge umbrella of square shape, i forgot the word for those.

The guy picked her up with his left hand and her cane with his right hand.

As the cafe got closer, he noticed that to the left there already was a fence painted qhite, qith a fence gate flush with it, so the fance made a turn at the very corner of the cafe, made aome distance from that turn and cafe, in the middle of that distance was a fence gate, and then there was a noter turn if the fence and it was going in the same direction as it was before the first turn.

At the entrance stood a woman wearing blue, she was a bit high a nd drunk, but recognized the girl and waved to qhich the girl responded.

For some reason the guy almost dropped the girl on the floor accidentally, but caught her at the last second, and that woman ran super close at that time window cuz she definetly wasn't at the cafe entrance anymore(it's still pov up to this ooint)

They talk and there was a time skip right as they started.

Then it skipoed to the guy having the drink IN that cafe with his friend from earlier with who he came here, friend looks like Wolfgang from DST.

Then something exploded outside, people startung running out, and on the cliff that was right behind that fence from warlier(yes there qas a cliff now idk how) there was a dude screaming some kind if demans and throwing explosives down.

The friends retreat with the crowd out of the café, then the guy says "go without me I'll catch up" to his friend and turns RIGHT out of the crows that was running LEFT.

The voice narrated as he immediately turned invusible, got through the fence gate, and ran in between some trees and immediately cut to some time later, where the guy has to the top of the cliff.

First, let me explain the layout a bit.

The cliff is straight up a wall, parallel to the white fence.

When i said "wall" i also meant thati it's thin.

From above it would look similar to if you were to put an eraser with it's long thin sude in the table, with it's rectangle side parallel to that fence.

Now, imagine that at the very top of that eraser there is a rectangle cut out in the middle of the ling side, in such a way, that this cutout is only visible from above, so it's like fully in the eraser still.

Okay, now, on one side of the rectangle , in the middle of it there like another little cutout that like breaks the wall.

And on the ither side if it, there are two such cutouts that are on opposite ends of that rectangle.

In that main cutuot, there were growing pumpkins (aomehow idk) and the side with two cutouts was directed at the convention, and in one of those cutout was the guy that was throwning ecplosives, and in the other was the rope leading down from the cliff, and anothe rope in the sole cutout on the opposite side.

The main guy got on top and was in the main cutout, and the explosives guy was for some reason already at the sole cutout and looking down the cliff as if looking for something.

Our guy picked up a long pumpkin(don't ask I'm confused) aneaked up on the wxplosives guy, and hit him as hard as he could with that pumpkin, making him atart falling forward, then the explosives guy's feet exploded, he screamed, and heard the only frase of the narrator that i could remember.

"And that's how I invented charging."

...

..

...

WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K WAS THAT.

#dream #vivid dreams #tf2 #wall of text

[donnerpartyofone]

I got up and decided that today I would start the week on a good foot by going to get some vitamins that we ran out of, which would give me some exercise, and then I'd come home and write (an overdue project) for the second half of the day. I put on contact lenses so I could wear sunglasses and also see things, which I hadn't done in a long time and I noticed that just looking at my phone through them gave me motion sickness, but for some moronic reason I filled my bag with things to read and write on and left, only to wonder later why I was dumb enough to give myself so much useless shit to schlep around. I had been walking for about an hour when I realized I forgot my wallet. I realized this because I had worn my newly repaired shoes and they were wearing blisters in both my feet, and sometimes there's a bandaid in my wallet because I'm such a fucking disaster, but I hadn't had the brains to make sure I had bandaids this time. I got angry with myself and headed home to change my shoes, put on bandaids, pick up my wallet, and start over. Half way home I fucking walked into a store and tried to fucking buy something despite that fact that I shouldn't be spending any money AND the whole point of this part of the journey was getting my wallet. I was so embarrassed that I made the person hold the item for me while I promised to come back instead of just saying SORRY NEVERMIND like I should have. I got home, grabbed my wallet, put on bandaids, changed my shoes, and went back to the store. Immediately both bandaids wadded themselves up into little sweaty dirty garbage pebbles that ground themselves into the open sores on my feet. I bought my stupid thing and thought that I didn't want to go home because I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me at this point, but I ran into my husband who asked me to pick up coffee for him while he lugged our laundry around. I did this (the only positive thing I have accomplished all day), vaguely explained to him that I could not get us our vitamins because I'm just not competent to do something like that, and went back out, failing to replace the unsanitary bandaid tumbleweeds in my shoes. I had also forgotten to take out my contacts, which I wound up doing in a grimy bar bathroom while trying not to cry. I got a beer for lunch and thought about how even if I go home now, I won't be able to set up my work and do enough refocusing and warmup shit in order to make real progress on anything important. I won't have time to do anything other than clean the kitchen in order to (barely) earn the food that someone else has to cook for me because every time I try to contribute to our meals it leaves us both disgusted and hungry. None of these mistakes of mine are dramatic, but they are relentless and over days and weeks and years they develop the cumulative impact of a tsunami. Being stupid and incompetent can literally take years off your life, if you can never get past step one then you can never do anything of value. This is my every day, and every time someone tries to diagnose my various crimes as innocent aberrant mistakes I have to say THEN WHY IS EVERY DAY LIKE THIS and then they get to dismiss me like I'm not worth hearing from because society treats depressed people like we're either pathological liars or completely detached from reality. This repeated experience has made me paranoid as well as depressed and now I live like some conspiracy theorist desperately cataloging my every mistake on an obscure blog as if some day I will get the opportunity to show someone all my documentation and they'll be forced to admit that only I am the expert on my own life and I actually have a right to my feelings. Unfortunately, even a beautiful day like today will not turn out to be that day.

[obeymeswdwritings]

Y’know what

first: sorry for the absence! I stopped being able to progress in the game, got caught up in a stardew playthrough, but I’m back!

(Before this next part: I promise I don’t hate Mams, he’s just pissing me off in the lessons I’m on and I’m sad about it)

second: every time I look on like, any obey me forum there’s a bajillion posts about how Mammon’s the best because he doesn’t threaten us and a) bar on the fucking floor, b) he does, just doesn’t try to kill us, and c) he still doesn’t respect boundaries, refuses to improve, and reminds me of like half the shitty guys I’ve dated.

I’m not saying he’s not a good person, and I haven’t finished all the lessons, so who knows, but every time in-game that you choose a dialogue option such as (no, I don’t want company) (I don’t want to) or literally anything along those lines, he responds with “too bad”.

Sometimes it’s necessary to progress the story, in which case, whatever to a degree, sometimes it just gives me a bad feeling.

Also, every time, and I mean every time, you try to help him, he brushes it off. Y’all can be on the “I can fix him” bandwagon all you like, but much like Jane Austen, I believe that he’ll fix himself if he knows what’s good for him. Which he doesn’t.

I’ve also dated a lot of shitty men, and thus am fluent in red flags. I love Mammon, and will continue hoping for a self-improvement arc in the future so I can love him as much as everyone else seems to, but in the meantime, I’m going to sit here with a lock on my door and cry.

Love y’all and hope to write more soon, Aix.

#I just want to clarify: I don't hate Mammon! He's a well-written character with a lot of good points #just #so tired of people saying he's the best when for me #not a good option even to be around

[kingofthering]

okokok so for fic prompts:

"Don't blush. I liked it." - fabio/vale

(no regrets)

set in this universe

“Fabio’s fine, he’s sleeping in his room,” Uccio says before Valentino has the time to utter a word, his slightly panicked look when he entered the kitchen already enough for his oldest friend to understand what he needed.

“Yeah? You don’t think he’s too tired, do you? He was still sleeping when I left this morning.”

Ever since Valentino had turned Fabio and brought him home, Valentino had tried to not leave the ranch unless he really needed to. Today’s affair had been about trying to deal with the people who had been after Fabio and if Valentino couldn’t fully be satisfied with the progress he’d made that morning, at least he knew Fabio was still safe.

“Vale, I promise, he’s doing great. He played football with the guys for quite some time, even Cele & Pecco went for a nap. I had him feed off Maro after he was feeling a little weak and Luca volunteered. I think he’s been down for about half an hour, you can go check on him if you want.”

Valentino didn’t need Uccio’s permission to do just that but he nods anyway, making a mental note to thank his little brother. All the boys had been very accepting of Fabio so far but Valentino still felt grateful. After all, he didn’t ask anyone before bringing Fabio here and the support from people closest to him meant a lot.

He’s quiet as he makes his way through one of the numerous rooms of the ranch, closing the door behind him very carefully.

Fabio is sound asleep, covers pooling at his hips and splashes of blond hair laid on the white pillow. 

Valentino can’t help himself, he sits down on the edge of the mattress and he lets his hand move to Fabio’s face, gently pushing stray strands of hair away from his forehead. 

It had been 10 days since Valentino found Fabio almost dead outside of the bar he used to work at. Being turned into a vampire had vastly helped with his internal injuries but the very last dying hues of yellow still adorned the jaw that had been covered in bruises back then. Seeing them and the reminder of what caused them only made Valentino feel even more fiercely protective of the man now under his care.

After a handful of minutes, Fabio starts stirring under Valentino’s hand. “Hey, Fabio, it’s me, it’s Vale, you’re okay.”

With his eyes still closed, Fabio makes a noise that is closer to a moan than a groan and with one hand, he paws at the mattress until he finds Valentino’s thigh, pulling on the fabric of his shorts. “Please.”

Valentino is confused at first but when Fabio keeps trying to reach for him, Valentino takes the hint and finally decides to join Fabio under the covers, the younger man seemingly happy when he can wraps himself around Valentino’s chest and fall back into a quiet sleep with Valentino’s hand back into his hair.

Valentino doesn’t even realize that he closes his eyes at some point but his heavy morning must catch up to him at some point because one second he’s looking fondly at Fabio’s sleeping form and the next, he’s stirring himself up, Fabio’s hair tickling his mouth until he moves up, his face eventually coming into focus in front of Valentino’s eyes. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Fabio answers back, looking at the lack of space between them. “I’m sorry. I thought I only forced you into bed in my dreams but, uh.”

Fabio looks just a little embarrassed and Valentino feels his own cheeks heat up when he realizes how close they actually are, Fabio supporting himself with one elbow next to Valentino’s shoulder, one of his legs tangled with Valentino’s.

Eventually, Valentino shrugs. “Didn’t force me to do anything. I needed the rest anyway.”

Fabio nods before chuckling. “That’s not how I thought I would get you into bed with me but I can work with that.”

Valentino tries to laugh but the noise gets stuck in his throat when he catches the way Fabio’s eyes look at his lips. Valentino can see the big breath that Fabio takes before he seemingly makes up his mind, leaning down to close the distance between them.

Fabio’s lips are warm when they press against his and Valentino can’t move, can’t deny himself something that has been in his mind for a few months now.

He lets Fabio in charge of the pace, the kiss soft and not exactly heated, Fabio’s tongue only teasing Valentino’s bottom lip before he draws back.

When Valentino opens his eyes, Fabio has moved to a sitting position next to him, his face red, eyes anywhere but on Valentino.

Valentino frowns, imitating Fabio’s position and slowly reaching a hand out to Fabio’s face.

“Don’t blush,” Valentino says with a brush of his thumb against Fabio’s cheek. “I liked it.”

His words only seem to deepen the shade of red on Fabio’s face, Fabio turning his head against Valentino’s palm, hiding himself. It’s stupidly cute, Valentino won’t lie.

Fabio eventually detaches himself from Valentino’s hand, looking him in the eyes with a complicated expression on his face. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

“Wait what? I kissed you back, Fabio, I wanted this too, I promise.” Valentino watches the way Fabio worries his bottom lip between his teeth, glad that the canines aren’t coming down. “And if you’ve changed your mind, it’s fine, I swear. I know your current situation is confusing and I won’t throw you out because of this, you’re safe here, always.”

Fabio huffs a loud breath and Valentino has to admit that it’s not the reaction he expected. Fabio passes both of his hands over his face before turning back to him. “Do all vampires get this cryptic after a certain number of years? I don’t think Uccio is that bad and he’s nearly as old as you, right?”

Valentino frowns, confused as hell. He doesn’t even nod to answer Fabio’s question.

“Because I swear to god, Valentino, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the first time we met. Of course I felt ashamed that you had to see me in such a position but you saved me and then you came coming back to the bar and you were hot and I was flirting with you and sometimes you flirted back and you kept being there but not allow me to take you home. Can you imagine how confusing that was?”

Valentino instantly feels both stupid and guilty. There are a ton of things that he could answer to that. You were human. It was complicated. I’m an idiot. You deserved better.

The words that come out of his mouth instead are: “I’m sorry.”

Fabio doesn’t seem fully happy with them. Valentino wants to smooth out the frown that just appeared between his brows.

“I would have found a way for you to bit me sooner if I knew that was the issue.”

“Fabio.”

“I’m kidding.”

Valentino meets Fabio’s eyes and he can see the softness in them and the beginning of a smile at the corner of his lips. It makes the tension in Valentino’s shoulders ease away.

It’s Fabio’s turn to put his hand on Valentino’s head, palm to his neck, thumb right at the hinge of his jaw. “Can I kiss you again, now?”

Valentino has barely begun nodding before Fabio closes the gap between them.

#fabio quartararo #valentino rossi #rpf #prompt fill #my writing #i don't know how to feel about this #i say every time i write something too soft #but it was nice to dig into this universe again it's very dear to me #on to the next prompts now #i have two and they both feature dani #aflof

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping that the concert was as spectacular as it looked, even more so in person (if not your outfit definitely was 👍🏽)!! Sorry about not sending an ask earlier, I got sick...again. Anyway I let's talk about 6x11 for a bit because I have a LOT of feeling about it but mostly I'm confused. Nothing about this episode made sense, from the concept itself to its ultimate outcome.

Let's start with concept, which was Buck does "Its a Wonderful Life". So firstly, as I believe you pointed out, Buck isn't exactly comparable to a suicidal business owner. In fact Buck is happier than he's been for awhile, so why this style? His "what if" about Daniel happened last episode after 2 seasons of nothing, he's secure at the firehouse, so what exactly is he questioning? But okay, whatever, this has been on his mind for 2 years (with no indication it was). Buck learns he's happy but others are sad, so he goes back. So ignoring the insult to both Bobby and especially Eddie that their current situation depends entirely on Buck and there weren't other people in their lives that also were looking out for them, how is this progress? First there's the fact that Buck's returning FOR other's to be happy, this is what he does and its not good for him!! Second, the fact that this version of himself isn't particularly appealing to present Buck so he isn't really giving anything up either, so how is this a choice? Finally, Buck himself knows its all in his head!! Its not a given that things will go this way, its just his imagination, logically why put any weight on this at all. The only conflict at the end was does Buck want to live or die and he's not suicidal so its not an actual choice. There is no drama to this and it falls absolutely flat.

So let's say the point is to reconcile him and his parents and understand that it was Daniel's death that made them act the way they did. So are we saying Buck's feelings as a result of that don't matter? Hell, why even have a 2 episode setup in S4 if we're going to magic this issue away with a coma dream (trying to hold back about Chim having a setup with his dad involving similar screentime just for those issues to be waved away as the tertiary plot of someone else's episode)? Wouldn't an actual conversation be more meaningful? The best theory I've seen is that Buck recognizes the significance of his found family while acknowledging he can allow his relationship with his bio family to heal. Great, except the way the episode concluded with the Buckley's being the primary focus doesn't send that message at all. It makes no damn sense!!

And look, as sexy as evil!Buck is, why is he even there. The evil other half trope is to use your insecurities to have you make the "wrong" choice. So how exactly does it work that evil!Buck tries to convince real!Buck that he should stay because "no one needs him", we have half the firefam gone in his dream which immediately negates this idea, AND have Buck say he's going for himself which would hit better if I could figure out when the fuck in the episode he decided this. I mean if its simple I want to live scenario did we need a whole coma dream to get here, Eddie did it over a shortened version of "Carry You". If its to hit the way Eddie's conversation with Ramon hit last season, where the hell is the half season buildup for Buck to realize this?? Sure magic coma dream is fun concept but it fucking needs to make sense and this doesn't!!

Anyway this is way too long and you likely won't have a chance to answer it before next episode but i thought i'd put it out there. Also if your wondering why its one big ask Tumblr stopped letting me post on anon from my phone so I finally made an account (in case you're wondering why someone with a weirdly science specific account is following you).

Hello my friend! The concert was phenomenal! It was like when you run into that super complementary drunk girl in the bar bathroom who tells you your outfit is amazing and you're a beautiful soul, but like, a whole stadium of that. SO many people were dressed up in costume and everyone was just vibing and having a great time. I got a friendship bracelet from a girl who was like, 8. It was a great time even before the show, and then the whole show was just breathtaking! Worth every (considerable) penny. 10/10 would do it again.

I'm sorry you got sick again! 😭 that's no fun! But I definitely wouldn't have gotten to your ask before today anyway since I spent all day yesterday driving and didn't get home until after midnight. But yes, let's talk about 6x11 because "confused" is exactly the right word and how I was feeling and it was soooo frustrating because it kept pulling me out of the episode and then consequently, because of the confusion and messy writing, the emotional beats just didn't land right. And I hate that because Buck learning that he is enough as he is, is SUCH an important theme for him and something I've been wanting for him for a WHILE and I hate that the episode as a whole just...didn't work, and didn't give the firefam care and concern it should have because it prioritized a storyline no one even asked for or wanted and that hasn't come up in like, 2 seasons. (We're supposed to get more firefam care and concern tonight but like, I'm not holding my breath, especially with it being the "fun" part of an otherwise heavy episode.)

"There is no drama to this and it falls absolutely flat" is SUCH a good way to describe this whole thing! Like, right off the bat, Buck knows it's not real so that takes 99.9% of the drama out of the "scary" revelations. No version of an ideal world for Buck includes Bobby being dead, Maddie being trapped with Doug (and unlikely to escape with a child involved and a family that thinks things are fine), and Eddie losing Chris, so there's no question he would even WANT to stay, especially with his parents suddenly being everything he ever wanted anyways! And as you said as well, Buck isn't struggling with his place at work, or his place with the firefam, or even, apparently, with his decision to donate sperm and have a bio child out there in the world that he's just totally cool walking away from! So...what IS he questioning? If they wanted to do an episode about him not feeling like enough why not do it after, say, he tries to donate and it doesn't work, or the family history is a deal breaker, or he decides he can't do this and his old "friend" lashes out at him? OR right after he feels like Bobby doesn't see him as captain material? Put THIS storyline in 6a and it makes far more sense than it does here when Buck is in a really good place! And this was the first of the mixed messages with Buck saying the words he's going back for himself because he's enough as he is, while the whole episode said something entirely different which was that without Buck, no one else would have been happy or even survived, so he's just going back to a world where the people he loves are safe and happy, which is....not really choosing HIMSELF so much as choosing a world were the people he loves are happy.

Which leads to your next point and the next mixed message which was his parents being suddenly the perfect parents in both the coma and real world, while also trying to say that Bobby was his parent and the firefam the ideal family he's always wanted, that are just waiting for him to come back to him. And by trying to do both, the did neither. The firefam got sidelined for the Buckley parents, and the Buckley parents were too busy having to be perfect to actually own up to their mistakes and give their kids a chance to be angry and talk about how they felt! It became a "they're trying so we just need to let it go". Same with Chim and his dad! And all that undercut Buck's choice as well, AND it was his parents only caring about him when he was hurt, all over again! I said in the tags of another post if they had even just dropped hints the past two seasons that Buck was still doing therapy with his parents, and had a good Buck/Maddie convo about how he understands his parents better now and therapy has really helped them communicate better and they understand now how hurt he was by their actions, this would have made more sense, AND given CHIM'S storyline with his dad some time to breathe. Hoping we get more of that but...I doubt it. Again, things that are apparently happening in people's heads but never making it to screen don't count as growth and telling a good story! And it absolutely undermined the WHOLE story of Bobby being a dad for Buck, when he wasn't even in the room for Buck waking up or the one to take Buck home with him when he was released from the hospital, and it undercuts Buck having the family he already wants to NOT see ALL of the firefam taking turns at his bedside to talk to him about what he means to them. (DID WE EVEN GET A BUCKAROO?!)

That conversation at the end between Buck and his mind could have been SOOOO good, because it's something that NEEDED to happen, but the writing was so all over the place all episode and all season that it just didn't land or make sense! Like you said, there's nothing to entice him to stay in the dream world that he already knows is fake and that doesn't have all the people he loves in it, and Buck hasn't been reckless or passively suicidal in ages so it felt like he was fighting so hard for just...no reason. And don't get me started on this being his subconscious and the kind of message that sends about what he thinks about people because while I think it was an oversight by the writers room and not purposeful, surely someone should have caught it? They literally get paid to do this for a living, and NO ONE said anything about that OR about the way the writing contradicted itself the whole damn episode?

I'm just....really disappointed that an episode that COULD have been about the power of found family and the firefam's love for their Buckaroo just for being himself, and about Buck's acceptance of his messy life leading him to the right place and right people and that he doesn't NEED to reconcile with his parents to live a happy life, he can just let that hurt go with some grace and understanding but not a thing he wants or needs to carry for them any longer, turned into...this mess. And the acting was SO GOOD too! Oliver and Peter were just ON IT all episode, and Maddie was making everyone cry, and the brief moments of the rest of the firefam were loaded with the emotion that should have carried the whole episode, but the writing just took the legs right out from under every firefam and Buck focused scene and kept all of it from carrying the weight it should have. And the camera work?! The props?! The flashbacks?! Top tier work! So so good! Literally could have been one of the best episodes ever, but it was just SO let down by the contradictory writing and trying to push this Buckley parents resolution after dropping the plot entirely with no mention for 2 seasons and then pretending that their behavior was normal. And actually having Maddie, Buck, and Chim ALL point out that it WASN'T normal and then just...never following up on that and making it out like THEY are the ones in the wrong! I just...😤😤😤😤😤

ANYWAY

Here's hoping for some good firefam food this week. I wish I could care more about this Wendall storyline but considering we knew he existed for all of 2 minutes before he was killed off I just...don't. 🤷🏻‍♀️

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #firefam #evan buckley #this is a buckley parents hate space #the writing was just SOOOOOO messy! when the set up was RIGHT THERE to emphasize the firefam #i don't think the ratings staying super low the rest of the season will get the show canceled #they're not bad enough for that when fox doesn't have a lot else going on #but it could be interesting and lead to some changes which i can only root for #but i feel bad because the cast and crew don't deserve this #and the writers room is trying their best but when the one in charge is the one forcing these opposing stories? #there's not a lot they can do but try their best to make it work #and by golly they put in the WORK in 6x11 but there's only so far that can go #kr go work on a soap opera and leave our weewoo fam alone forever challenge

[parisstreet]

How To Write A Song Called 'Mary Ann'

The newest Paris Street EP, Brief Feelings, is out now. As I've occasionally done with Paris Street releases, I'm going to spend this week rambling a bit about each song on the EP. Enjoy!

The song: Mary Ann

Original song title: ‘Julie Anne’.  That was the actual name of the person who inspired the song. I have a friend with that same name, though, hence the slight change.

When was it written? July of 2018. Under its original title, the song was composed as a true chamber pop song – imagine an overly-ornate room with a guy in a powdered wig twinkling on a harpsichord as a half-dozen half-bored guests look on (something like that). It never got beyond an unfinished demo, mainly because too much harpsichord gets grating after a while. I was also working on ‘Sorry, Annie’ at the time, which has a similar vibe but adds some weird noises and feedback to keep things interesting.

The whole thing was restructured in January of 2021 to fit a pattern I was fiddling around with on the ukulele bass. Things progressed quickly after that.

Where was it recorded? At my pad in Sacramento, also in January of 2021. This was while I was assembling the songs that would form the Mostly EP. ‘Mary Ann’ was intended to be the opening track for that release, but – after having a depressive episode – I deemed it too fun for the EP, and went with a more bummed-out opener (and an all-time bummer of a closing song) instead.

The instruments: Ukulele bass, classical guitar, LMMS.

What’s it about? Pretty self-explanatory if you follow along with the lyrics. I walked into a bar one evening and saw a group of drunken folks at one end having a seemingly-jolly time. My friend Keith was part of the group, so I went over and sat by him. Things progressed from there, almost exactly as described in the song.

Anything else to say about this song? She was an anti-Semite!! Just before she fell, she looked over at Keith (a Jewish man) and myself (not Jewish, but I’ve somehow looked like a kindly Jewish grandpa since I was 17), and said, “I would never date a Jew.” Then plop she went on the floor of the bar.

You might notice a lack of sympathy on the narrator’s behalf after Mary Ann takes her tumble – her sister is the one that comes over to help her up. That’s because your narrator (i.e. me) found it funny and thought she deserved a good coccyx-bruising.

I really tried to squeeze that detail into the song, but there’s only so much space in a song that doesn’t even reach 90 seconds. The part at the end about being ‘weirdly smitten’ was written purely in service of a concluding rhyme. In actuality, I’m very glad our paths have never crossed again.

Brief Feelings can be found on Bandcamp, Spotify, Amazon Music, and all other streamers of note.

#paris street #mary ann #how to #songwriting #rambles #indie pop #chamber pop #bedroom pop #don't be an anti-semite #coccyx #Youtube

[bottoms-movie]

SAMBUCKY FIC RECS

so a lot of people seemed interested this so here it is! if ya’ll like this, i can make more parts! this is split into three categories: based on tfatws, canon divergence, and au. all fics are on ao3. all of the fics are complete. some fics do include smut, but i included the ratings, so make sure to check for that based on preferences!

also, feel free to send me asks on your thoughts on any fics or if you’re interested in another sambucky fic rec post!

BASED ON TFATWS

Fill the Hole in my Heart | Not Rated | 4,848 words

Bucky dives into the world of online dating. The girls are nice, but there seems to be something missing. When he goes to Louisiana to meet Sam and his family, he realizes what that something was.

Skip, Reverse | Explicit | 7,945 words

Sam stood in the middle of their local Target with a throw pillow in each hand. The one in his left hand was butter-soft and matched the drapes in the living room, but Bucky had walked by five seconds ago and declared the one on the right “absolutely fucking hideous,” and so now Sam kind of wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything.

Sometimes romance is just bickering with your superhero partner/roommate at several different Target locations.

just won’t do right | General | 7,524 words

Sam's eyebrows go up, impressed, and he reaches over to squeeze Torres' shoulder, "This is amazing, kid. Thanks, really."

Bucky sits and watches in utter horror as the pink darkens on Torres' cheeks.

Oh, he realizes. Oh. Fuck.

body language will do the trick | Explicit | 12,598 words

“There’s no way you’re going to win this,” Bucky tells Sam. “I am going to love language the shit out of you.”

Sam gives him a considering look. “You do seem like you’d be really good at that.”

Bucky’s cheeks flush with heat. “Thanks, pal, I—”

Sam smirks, and Bucky’s eyes narrow. He shoves his elbow into Sam’s side and stalks off, leaving Sam cackling behind him.

“Your ass looks great today!” Sam yells.

Bucky reaches up to flip Sam the bird, and he definitely does not feel grateful that he wore his good jeans today. Bucky’s ass looks great every day.

checklist | General | 4,716 words

Bucky Barnes keeps a mental checklist of things he knows to be true at any given moment. Sometimes the checklist changes, because he's learned something else about himself. It changes, for example, when he starts realizing that maybe he would like to kiss Sam Wilson. Maybe.

best laid plans | 3 parts | 26,808 words

part 1: baby you’re the wave and I’m ready for the crash | Explicit | 6,616 words

Nah, my plan’s better,” Sam declares, before clapping Bucky on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what plan? Was that a plan? It didn’t sound like a plan to me, it sounded like a vague intention,” says Bucky, still scowling, and Sam grins.

“We’re winging it, the plan is a work in progress! Now c’mon, we gotta make some wardrobe adjustments if we’re gonna get into that club.”

Sam and Bucky have some unorthodox methods of going undercover in a club.

He Doesn’t Deserve You! | Teen | 5,154 words

Sam and Bucky have an argument that results in Bucky being left at the bar. A group of drunk strangers assumes Bucky just got dumped and quickly adopt him for the night to make him feel better.

Reconstitution | Not Rated | 10,228 words

“I didn’t back Steve on the Sokovia Accords,” Sam says unprompted one day. They’re so close to apprehending the Flagsmashers and wrapping up this ridiculous saga.

“I don’t follow,” Bucky says.

“I was the one who refused to sign it first. Not Steve.”

Sam says it so softly that Bucky has to strain to hear him. Sam is loud and chatty and half the time he keeps up a constant stream of chatter just to get on Bucky’s nerves, but Bucky’s coming to realize that when he really wants to make himself heard, he’s soft spoken and mild. Bucky doesn’t entirely follow his train of thought, though.

Or: a breaking down, remaking, and coming back stronger than ever before

Stuck On You (You Suez, You Luez) | Explicit | 10,136 words

Sam and Bucky’s mission was simple: stowaway on a ship suspected of weapons-smuggling in the Suez, gather enough intel to report back, and hop off again in Port Said. Something gets in the way, and a day-long recon session turns into a week of chess, bickering, semi-successful movie references, and trying not to go slowly insane.

His Touch | Mature | 1,006 words

When Baron Zemo touched Bucky’s face, Sam Wilson saw red.

Bucky just wants Sam to comfort him.

rusted | Teen | 2,358 words

Bucky doesn’t grace him with a sound of acknowledgement. He’s been quiet, ever since that night with Zemo. Well. Quieter. It’s almost like. Every time he opens his mouth, he’s half-expecting the Winter Soldier to come out.

He hasn’t, yet. Won’t, ever again. Not unbidden. Sam’s sure of that. Bucky, not so much.

‘You busy?’

‘’m scouring the—’

‘Good,’ Sam cuts the idiot off, ‘I need you to help me shave.’

advanced therapy methods for large adult men | 2 parts | 11,717 words

part 1: The Gottman Method for Dealing with Conflict | Mature | 4,187 words

Bucky and Dr. Raynor have a follow-up session and two entirely different conversations about his relationship status.

Or: Let's do more couples therapy, James.

it’s always Bucky’s Fault | 3 parts | 20,089 words

part 1: Did you see it? | Explicit | 3,905 words

In which there's supposedly a viral video of the Winter Soldier on his knees sucking off Captain America.

Everything is, like always, completely Bucky's fault.

CANON DIVERGENCE

Even in the Present (I Am Living in the Past) | Teen | 16,977 words

Sometimes Sam still questions everything about his ability to shoulder the 80-year legacy he now bears. His history, and the history of his loss, sticks with him and even in healing he doubts whether or not he is able to fulfil his purpose, and whether he may find lasting peace and happiness.

Told in fluid-fragments, the story moves between his therapy sessions after his return from active duty and the post-Endgame present.

You never forget your first | Teen | 3,650 words

The story of Bucky and Sam getting together in a series of firsts.

leftovers | Mature | 19,249 words

With the New Avengers up and running, Sam finally has time to start dating again. Unfortunately, it's not going as well as he'd hoped.

Partners | Explicit | 7,235 words

Sam's not sure if he can be Captain America. He's not a supersoldier. He can't throw the shield. He's just a dude.

And Bucky Barnes is just a nuisance, albeit a pretty good-looking one.

I’ll explain everything to the geese | Explicit | 50,949 words

Bucky is so competent that it hurts my feelings is not a rational complaint to have about a person, and yet, after a year of being Captain America and partnering up with Bucky for the new and improved, post-Blip Avengers, that’s kinda how Sam’s feeling.

It’s not great. It maybe leads to Sam making some rash, ill-advised decisions like claiming he has a previously undisclosed superpower, and then getting caught in a web of lies when he ends up actually developing that surprisingly inconvenient superpower. Talking to birds had seemed like a harmless superpower, but it turns out that birds have a lot of opinions, and they don’t hesitate to tell Sam about them, especially when it comes to his supposedly subpar courting skills. Which is ridiculous, because Sam isn’t courting Bucky. Right?

Night Swimming | Teen | 2,056 words

“Come on. The princess has a new arm for you and I gotta see if there’s a barber around here willing to tackle your…” Sam waved a hand at Bucky’s face.

“I don’t want a new arm,” Bucky immediately bit out.

And then -

“I can cut my own damn hair.”

Sam just raised both eyebrows. Crossed his arms over his chest again.

Dared Bucky to prove him wrong.

AU

Cpvert Coffee & Flirtation Specialist | General | 5,542 words

The reporter says "—for Captain America to—"

And Bucky rolls his eyes. "Oh, here we go."

Sam looks at him then tips his head sideways, got a weird grin on his face. "Not a fan?"

"Not that. Just… the guy seems too good to be true, right? Wings and a shield?? Come on."

"Uh, is that why your eyes are like glued to the screen whenever he's on?" Kate says. "Is that why you call him Captain Tight Ass?"

"He's a goddamn show-off, and you know it. Tight ass or not."

Just then Sam snorts, real loud, grabs his coffee and suffers a horribly controlled laugh on his way out the door.

Stolen Moments | Teen | 98,767 words

“No,” Sam said, chuckling. “I don’t cheat,” he swept his gaze up and down James’ body, “even with guys who look like you. But, I’m bored and a little pissed, so if you wanna sit here and shoot the shit ‘til my man shows back up, I’m game.”

Never one to back to back down from a challenge - especially a challenge who looked like Sam Wilson - Bucky took another swig from his bottle and replied, “Sure, doll. I’ve got nothing but time.”

Steve has Sam. Bucky wants Sam. Sam wasn’t expecting any of this.

Such a Whirlwind Since I Saw You | Teen | 10,871 words

The Men of Letters turned Bucky Barnes into a weapon. Hunters Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov are determined to save him, but they're going to need Sam Wilson's help.

“So you want me to ditch work, drive across America with you until you find your friend, who you thought was dead - all while avoiding some high-tech hunters who are out for blood?” Sam is asking.

Steve shrugs a shoulder, looking a little sheepish. Natasha almost laughs at the dry tone of Sam’s voice, but he's not wrong.

You Got What I Need? | Explicit | 37,588 words

Sam and Bucky are both in a bind, professionally. Nat points out a solution that neither men like. To save their careers they play along or rather, stop playing all together.

#marvel #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #sambucky #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky fic recs #fic recs #usermarcy #usersof #tusernini #tusersammy #usersmile #usersamanne #usercross #sambucky fanfic #my fic recs

[spencersawkward]

omg I’m so excited you’re on here and taking requests!! do you think you could do something like baby Spence losing his virginity to a close friend & it’s like adorable, goofy, fluffy smut bc he cannot get over the fact that he’s actually having sex with someone

I’VE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-- TURN IT UP!!!

on a serious note, i'm so glad you asked for this one bc i really wanna add a scene like this in the fic i'm working on rn. i'm v excited.

summary: when the secret of Spencer's virginity gets accidentally spilled in front of the whole team, reader goes to check on him.

word count: 5.6k

relationship: Fem!Reader/Spencer Reid

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, fluff.

masterlist

hanging out with the team is easily the best part of the week. after spending days in Arizona with our focus entirely on the most recent case, my mind is practically ready to snap. I feel like I've been running on fumes, and when Penelope suggested we take the evening to hit our favorite bar, I was practically already out the door.

so now I'm sandwiched between JJ and Emily as we throw back our first shots of the night. my skin is already flushed with the elation of laughter, the pleasant thrum of conversation that surrounds us.

"that's bitter." JJ makes a face when she slams the empty glass on the table. I screw up my nose.

"why did we pick vodka?" I hate vodka.

"it gets the job done." Emily laughs. I shudder at the aftertaste that sits on my tongue.

Morgan wanders over, Pen on his arm while she totes a brightly colored pink alcohol. they're flirting as usual, but she pauses in her witticisms to grab my arm.

"we're playing truth or shot in that booth over there." she says to me, then gets the attention of the other two women. I let out a disbelieving laugh.

"truth or shot? like truth or dare but without the dare?"

"Reid, is that you?" Morgan says sarcastically. I slug him in the arm with a pout.

"be nice." but I'm giggling. he loops his arm through mine and we head back to the table, Penelope already starting a new conversation with JJ and Prentiss as they follow. Spencer is sitting in the booth with an Arnold Palmer, sipping from the straw like it's his job. I slide into the spot next to him.

"hi, you." I smile. "I haven't seen you at all tonight."

he holds up his glass. "I don't really drink."

"that's fine," I wave it off. "I just meant I wanted to hang out with you."

"oh." he smiles a little. "sorry."

"no big deal. you're here now." I shrug and turn to Pen as she calls my name.

"I'm gonna order a bottle. that okay?" she points to the bar with a mischievous smile. glancing once at Spencer and his slightly awkward position between Morgan and me, I make a snap decision.

"you know what? I think I'll just have a lemonade."

"you sure? Jayge said you spent the whole plane ride back talking about getting wasted--" Penelope's words cause a blush to spread over my face. I cut her off.

"I'm sure. thanks, Penny."

she nods. "of course, sweet cheeks."

I focus back on Reid, who is looking at me gratefully. he would never say it out loud, but I know he feels a little out-of-place sometimes. it's hard enough for him to come out with us to bars; the least I can do is be a sober friend. I open my mouth to start a conversation about an article I read the other day when Prentiss speaks.

"okay, so... who's ready?" her voice, always so certain, carries over the table. all of us make enthusiastic noises of assent, and she grins as Penelope returns with an armful of glasses. Derek gets up to grab the actual alcohol, and then when we're all settled in, the game begins.

"the rules are simple: you tell the truth, or you drink!" the tech analyst explains. the stakes for Spencer and me are lower, but that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to hear the team divulge their secrets.

"I'll start." Prentiss doesn't even hesitate before she looks at Morgan. "Derek, are you still sleeping with that one woman from sex crimes?"

Morgan raises his eyebrows at the question, irises flitting between Emily and the rim of his drink. there's a slight smirk on his face; he knows what a player he is and he's okay with flaunting it.

"Ally? no." he sighs. "things didn't end well between us."

"what? why?" I ask, eyes widening before I look around at everyone. "who is this woman?"

"cool your jets, sparky." Morgan teases me. "only one question per round."

"I'll tell you later." Prentiss raises her drink in my direction and winks.

"uh, no no." Morgan attempts to stop her, but JJ interrupts him.

"speaking of things not ending well," she says loudly. "Pen, why did you and Sam break up?"

"well," Penelope sticks her tongue between her teeth as she thinks it over with a devilish smile. her lips are a ruby red tonight, bright against her pale skin and big eyes. "to be completely honest, he just wasn't... doin' it for me. you know?"

"like--?" Emily glances down at her lap. Pen nods quickly and I snicker. JJ looks awestruck.

"I thought it was going so well."

"it was, but..." Penelope seems to genuinely think this over before she speaks. "if it's right, it just clicks. and it never clicked with Sam."

"profound." I compliment, high-fiving the high-energy blonde. we giggle before she turns to me with a glint in her eye.

"oh, do I have a plan for you," she smirks. "tell me, Y/N: if you had to sleep with one person on our team, who would it be?"

"women included?" I clarify, my cheeks suddenly on fire. how come everyone got easy questions except for me? I'm really just biding time.

"of course." she nudges my shoulder. I mull this over for a minute. I could say the truth, but I don't think that would be the right thing to do. however ironic that is. given the situation, I do something which I have never been good at and which I don't enjoy doing: I lie.

"although all of you are catches," I preface. "I think I would probably pick Emily."

Prentiss almost chokes on her own spit as her head snaps to see my face.

"me?" she asks.

"low-pressure fun." I shrug, the stress of the moment rolling off my shoulders with the ensuing laughter of my team members. Spencer takes a sip of his drink and peeks at me from his spot before I focus my attention to JJ.

we go on like this for a while, our original plan of "truth or drink" really just turning into a game of "truth and drink." as our laughter gets progressively louder, our questions and answers get progressively more provocative. we get into risky territory towards the fourth round, and I can practically feel Spencer's discomfort radiating off of him. thank god everyone has been taking it easier on him with their questions.

that is, until Morgan hits about five shots and decides to throw him to the wolves.

"so, Reid," he asks. there's no malice in his tone and I'm sure he's not meaning to embarrass the boy genius, but the question makes me wince anyways. "have we made any progress on the virginity front?"

it's like a fucking pall over the table. Reid goes rigid in his spot, and JJ's protective eyes dart between him and Morgan. Penelope's jaw drops.

"wait, Reid, you're a--?" her voice is tender, not judgmental, but Spencer's cheeks turn pink and he looks at Derek with a hurt expression.

"not cool." he says, body shifting in my direction. his eyes communicate everything; without a word, I know what he wants. I scoot out of the booth, letting him slip by me to walk outside.

truly, I'm speechless. we all stare at his lanky frame push through the door, but nobody talks until at least fifteen seconds pass.

"what the hell was that, Morgan?" JJ asks.

"I thought everyone knew--" he throws his hands up. "I swear I wouldn't have said anything if--"

"why would everyone know that?" I feel myself get angry for Spencer's sake. "that's an incredibly personal thing, especially to him."

"that wasn't you, my love." Penelope's voice is soft, sobered by the incident that just occurred. the playful air at the table is officially ruined, and we keep glancing at the doorway like Reid will come back in and everything will be fine. he doesn't.

"I'm gonna go apologize." Morgan starts to get up, seemingly beginning to realize the weight of his words. it's one thing to ask about Reid's sex life in general; it's another to point out specifically the entire absence of it. Spencer doesn't seem to be bothered by most things, but this is different. my heart hurts.

we watch Morgan go, the women all looking at each other with worried expressions.

"I feel bad." Penelope says.

"y'know, Spence never told me that." JJ observes.

"he really trusts Morgan." Prentiss says what we're all thinking. Morgan has always been like a big brother to him, and being embarrassed in front of your co-workers like that can't be a pleasant feeling.

we sit in a relative silence for about five minutes until Morgan walks back into the bar. he pulls out his wallet and pays for the drinks, then walks over to us.

"I'm gonna go for a walk. do you need me to call you all cabs?" he asks. those dramatic brows are drawn low over his face, emphasizing his regret. I look between my friends and clear my throat.

"it's okay. I only had one shot about an hour and a half ago. I can drive everyone home."

"okay," Morgan sighs, his head turning briefly to the door before focusing back on us. "drive safe, ladies."

and then he's gone.

"you guys ready?" I start to shrug my jacket on. they all nod and we get ready to go.

...

sitting in my apartment later that night, my head is swimming. even though it's none of my business what happens in Spencer's sex life, I wish I could tell him that it's okay. nobody cares at all if he's a virgin or not. but I know it's still embarrassing.

I hate that I lied earlier tonight, too. I wanted to say Spencer's name when they asked who I wanted, because I meant it. we're close, and I will always love him as a friend. but I've also always wanted more.

nobody, not even any of the other BAU women, know about my crush. I didn't want it to get in the way, or for it to come out and ruin my friendship with Reid. he doesn't like me like that, and that's fine, but what's not fine is not having him as my friend.

he was the first person I really connected with when I came here, and I feel a little protective over him, too.

once the clock hits eleven, I consider calling. he’s definitely not asleep yet. Spencer is a night owl. normally at this time he'd be curled up with a huge book, reading impossibly fast.

when he picks up on the third ring, the air leaves my lungs.

"Y/N?" he asks, more surprised than anything else.

"hey, Spence--" I hesitate, suddenly not sure what to say. sorry Morgan told everyone you're a fucking virgin? “do you wanna come over?"

maybe if I see him face-to-face, I'll be able to collect my thoughts better. the words hang in the air, festering over the line until I'm just about to take them back, before he replies.

"y-yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

my hands are shaking at my side when I open the door for the tall genius. he's still wearing his outfit from earlier, hair slicked back like normal. I've settled for my usual sweatpants and t-shirt winning combo. it's not like he cares.

"hey." I smile, trying to read his micro expressions. there are two possible outcomes here, knowing him: either he's going to be totally, completely over it, or he'll be able to write a War-and-Peace-length book on why he's upset.

"hi." he gives a wan smile and I let him into my apartment, closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch.

"I missed this place." he says absently, looking around at the mess of decor and case files. I snort as I recall the last time he was here. he wanted to borrow a book that I had, and we ended up watching an entire docu-series about homing pigeons. it was surprisingly interesting; mostly because his commentary is both informative and funny.

"it missed you." I anthropomorphize my living space, but the phrase hangs heavy. I'm worried about him. I'm always worried about Spencer. he turns to look at me, opening his mouth to say something. I brush past him and walk into the kitchen. "coffee?"

"sure." he follows me like a lost puppy, leaning against the counter while I pull out two mugs and get to work.

"hey," I pause for a moment to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-- about what happened... tonight."

"oh, that?" he scoffs, waves it off unconvincingly. "it's fine."

I raise my brows the slightest bit, never breaking eye contact. he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to talk about it. he cracks easily.

"it's just embarrassing, you know?" he says, staring out my kitchen window to alleviate his own nerves. I gesture for him to follow me back into the living room and I sit down criss-cross applesauce on the couch. he mirrors me, kicking off those cute black Converse.

"I don't think the fact itself is embarrassing, but I totally get why it feels that way. he shouldn't have said anything." I nod.

"like, that's personal. a-and--" he hesitates a moment, gesticulating wildly now. "and it's not like he's got any right! at least I don't go around with so many girls that I forget their names."

the thought of Reid sleeping with that many women is a little bit funny, but it also makes my stomach twist with jealousy.

"did he apologize?"

"yeah, he did. and he was drunk, I know." he rolls his eyes. "I'm overreacting."

"no, really, you're not." without thinking, I scoot closer to him and place my hand over his, which is sitting on his knee. I remember that Spencer is usually pretty averse to touch, but when I move it back to my lap, he seems a little disappointed. I wonder if he gets lonely.

"is it weird?" the question sounds raw, like he's mustering a lot to hear my response. I shake my head immediately.

"well, for one, Spence, I would never judge anyone based on their sex life, period." I chuckle. "and two, no way! if you aren't into having sex at this point in your life-- or ever-- that's totally your choice and you're entitled to it."

his eyes meet mine, pools of honeyed hazel that swim with a slightly amber shade. his face is so pretty, it's sometimes unbelievable to me that he doesn't get more action. bone structure that would make a sculpture envious.

"that's the thing," he licks his lips nervously before averting his gaze again. "I am interested-- I just don't-- well, I don't--"

"don't have someone to do it with?" I suggest with a slight smile. he nods, then clarifies.

"girls don't really seem to be interested in me."

I let out a laugh, unable to contain myself. his head jerks up to frown in confusion. I’m quick to amend myself.

"Spence, that's not true at all. you're such a catch! you're sweet and funny and way smarter than anyone I know. not to mention that you're adorable." I compliment, letting some of the thoughts I've been keeping to myself bubble to the surface. "any girl would be beyond lucky to be with you, sexually or not." Spencer blushes at my words, but the squirming in his spot tells me that it makes him feel warm inside. he smiles a little.

"you think?" it's genuine. he appreciates being praised, and it makes my heart flutter when he gives me that expression like I've made his night.

"I know." more of what I want to say rolls around my mind, unsure of whether or not I should admit it. but I think that right now, it'll only serve to make him feel better. "actually, I should tell you something."

"what?" he's curious now.

"when we were at the bar and Penelope asked who I'd be with... on the team... I lied."

"okay." he nods, somehow not connecting the dots. I guess it doesn't matter if they've got enormous IQs; boys are still clueless.

"I was gonna say you." the truth presses from the inside out, lifting a weight off my chest now that it's out there. even if he doesn't return that feeling, I'm suddenly glad that I told him.

"me?" he gestures to his narrow chest. I nod.

"yeah. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or embarrass you in front of our friends." I explain. he breaks into a grin.

"thanks." like I've given him something. I feel myself smiling as well, and then we're just looking at each other. tension that neither of us is willing to break. as much as I'd like to take him right here right now, he hasn't said anything about actually having sex or even about being attracted to me. for all I know, he could be completely indifferent.

"listen, Spence--"

"would you be willing to--" we speak at the same time, both of us stopping and laughing awkwardly.

"sorry, you go first." I offer, and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"would you want to... um..." he scratches the back of his neck before his eyes meet mine. "try it?"

"sex?" I raise my eyebrows. he nods. I try to find the right response. that’s more assertive than I expected. my pulse is fast, daring me to tell the truth. "I mean-- yes, I would love to-- but are you sure you want it to be with me, Spence? what about a girl that you like?"

"you are a girl that I like." he says this like it's matter-of-fact, like it's obvious. my heart stops in my chest before it starts to hammer.

"really?" a smile makes its way onto my face.

"I thought you knew."

"no." I laugh. my chest is full of sunlight.

"well, you are."

there's a brief silence where I try to get myself back on track. he likes me, too.

"are you sure you want to do this?" I glance at the space between our bodies, which has grown steadily smaller over the course of our conversation. Spencer is watching my every move with an intensity that tells me he's nervous.

"yes." he's unwavering.

"okay, well, you've kissed girls, right?" I inch closer. he nods.

"one."

"oh, Spencer," I sigh contentedly. "I have so much to teach you."

right after I say this, Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. it's only then that I notice his hand covering his lap, the erection that's forming beneath his pants. my eyes flick up to his hungrily.

"sorry." he apologizes.

"don't be." our faces are inches apart and he's practically holding his breath. "I'm gonna kiss you. is that okay?"

"yes." he replies immediately. I place my hands gently on the side of his face, admiring the softness and sharpness of his jaw when I pull him to me, kissing him with a suppressed desire. his mouth is soft against mine, a little anxious to move. after a moment, he starts to relax.

his lips part and I deepen our contact, tilting my head and keeping it mostly mild at first. I don't want to shove my tongue down his throat. our knees are touching and his hand hesitantly finds my waist, the other going to run through my hair. I sigh into him, his fingertips a new sensation that I adore.

Spencer begins to give in a bit more to himself, asserting himself in the kiss and slipping his tongue over my bottom lip. I almost laugh at how quickly he gets the hang of it. he reads my body language effortlessly, not even skipping a beat when I climb into his lap and lace my arms around his neck.

"is this okay?" I pull away momentarily. he nods.

"you're so pretty." an unrelated response, but appreciated nonetheless. I laugh and peck his nose.

"thanks." and then we're back to making out, his hands resting on the small of my back. it's nice. I could stay like this forever, just pressed against Spencer while my fingers thread through his soft hair. he's cautious with me, and it's innocent.

I can feel his boner, can feel from the eagerness of his kisses that he's trying not to bring up the fact that he's literally just throbbing in his pants right now. in order to give him a little of what he wants, I start to rock my hips against his.

Spencer whimpers into my mouth. I stop and look down at him.

"do you want me to stop?"

"no, god, no— never stop." he's mindless in his reply, already grabbing my hips greedily and trying to regain that friction. I shake my head with a chuckle, then resume my actions. he starts to rut up against me, groaning into our embrace while his hands get more adventurous.

I withdraw, breaking the kiss to straighten up. he doesn't stop the microscopic pushes of his hips. I bite back a smile, enjoying the friction, too.

"do you wanna take my clothes off, Spence?" I ask softly.

"y-yes." he replies, gingerly taking the hem of my top and beginning to lift it over my head. when he places it on the couch beside me, his eyes immediately fall to my bra. slender fingers run up my bare waist, his watch glinting in the candlelight. when he doesn't immediately reach to unclasp my bra, I grab his wrist and guide it to the clasps myself. he moves with a surprising ease, unsnapping the thing and grazing over my skin as he slides the straps down my shoulders. I can tell that he’s shaking a tad, but it doesn’t hinder him.

the second that he's discarded the lingerie, he looks up at me with moony eyes.

"can I... kiss you?" he looks at my bare chest. "here?"

"of course, Spence." I nod. he presses his lips to the space between my ribs, drags them up to the valley between my breasts. lingers, then attaches himself to one of my nipples. I sigh, throwing my head back at the way he moves intuitively, sucking and running his tongue over the peak. he squeezes the other breast, plays with the nipple and starts to acquaint himself with the curves of my body.

the whole time, he's straining against my core, rutting helplessly in pleasure. it feels heavenly, with that sweet face of his so devoted to making me feel good, that I nearly stray from the purpose of the experience.

"Spencer..." I breathe. he moans at the sound of his name, then looks up at me from his place sucking on my tits. his teeth graze of my skin and I buck into his lap, causing him to groan appreciatively. my fingers tangle in his soft hair.

"Y/N," he pulls away from my chest, his lips making a soft popping sound. I gaze down at him, a bit lost in the fantasies running through my head. he's a natural. "can we, um-- like, expedite this process a little?"

"expedite the process?” I repeat back to him, giggling at his formality.

"what?" his voice goes up an octave, but he's smiling. "you know what I mean."

"I really do." I lean down, pressing my thumb into his jaw and angling his face up to mine to kiss. while his hands curiously move over my body, I start to push down the waistband of my sweatpants. I break contact just for a moment to peel them off, and he releases a quiet whine. it's cute.

"come back." he says softly, watching as I slide the bottoms down my legs, leaving me in my panties.

"I'm back." I peck his cheek, climb into his lap again. "can we take off your clothes, too?"

"mhmm." he nods. his lips part when my fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a torturous slowness. I can feel his eyes on my face the whole time.

"what?" I chuckle, peeking up at him for a moment before I pull his shirt open and run my palms up his chest, over his shoulders. he nearly shudders at the sheer touch.

"I just can't believe this is actually happening." he smiles in that way of his, like he's suppressing the depth of his emotions, with his brows slightly raised. I take the opportunity to enjoy the sight of him before me, his rapidly rising and falling chest, the smoothness of his skin.

"honestly?" I start to unbutton his pants, and he jerks up into my hand, blushing once he realizes the earnestness of his actions. I smirk encouragingly. "me, neither."

before I pull down his boxers, my eyes flick to his. "is this still okay?"

"Y/N," he groans. "if you don't do something, I'm gonna cum too early." he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment when my hand moves over his clothed erection, like he's holding on. "please."

"sorry." I release him from the confines. it hits his stomach and he waits for my reaction, as if he's afraid that I'll change my mind right now. but I'm definitely not going to. "holy fuck, Spencer."

"what?" he panics slightly, sitting up more. "is it not enough?"

"not enou--" I stutter, almost laugh. "no, it's plenty. I had no idea..."

"oh." he hides the pleased smile on his face, blush spreading over his pretty throat. in the interest of "expediting the process," I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and gently pump him.

Spencer's stomach tenses and he grabs onto the cushion of the couch with a tight fist, sighing.

"mmm..." he doesn't try to word his emotions, but I know. and I like that I'm making him feel this way, sharing this experience. Spencer and I are such close friends, I never thought we'd actually have sex. my assumption was that I'd watch him grow into himself, find a nice girl and treat her like a queen.

but here I am, spitting into my hand before jerking him off to prepare for what’s next. he’s throbbing, sounds coming from his throat.

"I'm gonna sit on it, okay?" I lean down to whisper in his ear. he touches my waist, my neck, kisses a random spot on my chest in the waves of pleasure that I'm giving him.

"o-okay." he mumbles, waiting for me to actually do it. and there's a moment of tense anticipation between both of us, when I sit up and pull my panties to the side. Spencer watches like I'm the only thing in the world, saving the memory of my body on top of his for later.

I run the head of his cock along my entrance, soaking him in the wetness between my thighs. I didn't realize how turned on I'd already gotten, and he lets out a quiet whine when he feels the evidence of how much I want him.

our eyes lock when I sink down. it's a new feeling for him, and the shape of his member as it stretches my walls causes me to bite my lip to withhold moaning too loudly. he whimpers, neck tensing and fingertips digging into my hips.

"o-oh." he sucks in a breath as I reach the halfway point. he's so big, I have to go slow in order not to overwhelm myself. but it feels good, too. like... unbelievably good. I grip onto his shoulders and my head falls forward into his shoulder.

"Spencer, holy shit." I moan.

"does it feel nice?" he asks, concerned for my own pleasure. I feel my chest flutter at the thoughtfulness of the boy wonder even when he's in the midst of losing his virginity, and I lower myself onto the rest of him.

"mhmm," I rest for a moment. "how do you feel?"

"like--" his breath hitches when I begin to rock back and forth on him. "like I've been missing out."

I can't help the giggle that slips past my lips, but then it quickly turns into a longing moan when he starts to thrust up into me like a helpless thing. Spencer is brilliant, but his brain cells go out the window when he throws his head back and begs me to move more.

I nod, raising and lowering myself until we reach a special pace. it's not fast or slow, just the two of us trying to stay in the moment while we hold on tightly to each other. I can feel the cool metal of his watch when he splays his hand out over my spine, the warmth of his breath while he pants against my shoulder.

he hits my g-spot over and over. my moans are torn from my throat by the burning of my lungs. it's like I can't breathe because I'm so focused on chasing the orgasm building in my stomach. and Spencer... I can tell he's almost finished.

the erratic nature of his jerking body tells me.

"I'm gonna cum..." he moans into my neck. "do- do you want me to pull out?"

"no." I arch my back and throw myself into the friction of our bodies. he stares up at me while I ride him, the merciless grinding of my hips because I just can't help myself. "oh my god, Spencer."

he notices how close I am and, in a surprisingly deft move, slides two fingers over my pussy to find my clit. the ensuing noise from me tells him that he's found it, and he begins to rub in quick circles. it's rough and hard, but that's exactly what I need right now.

"cum for me, Spence." I breathe. his free hand grips onto my thigh and pulls me over him, his own words unintelligible within the sounds of absolute pleasure.

"please." he begs for something I don't know, spills his seed inside of my pussy and holds onto me like I'm an anchor to this world while he peers into the next. the feeling of him spreading through my stomach, along with the reckless movements of his limbs and the way he looks at me while he rides out his orgasm, sends me over the edge.

"oh my fuck!" I collapse, grabbing his shoulders tightly and rolling myself down while he removes his fingers from my body. it's jarring, the intensity, like my normal functions can't respond correctly. all I can process is the tightening of my stomach, the pleasure between my legs, vision going slightly fuzzy at the edges. he moans when my cunt flutters around him, the muscles trying desperately to hold him here with me forever. I take deep breaths and slow down, my forehead dropping again while I start to remember my own name.

neither of us speaks. I think I'm still too in shock about what just happened, but in the best way. he keeps running his hands over my skin, then wraps his arms around my torso so that I'm pulled against his chest. I smile, kissing his ear before I finally break the silence.

"hi."

"hi." he's got a satisfied tone.

"do you need anything? water?" I ask, exhausted but realizing that this is still new for Spencer and it's my job to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. he nuzzles his nose into my clavicle and squeezes me tighter.

"stay here with me." there's a slight edge to his words. he's afraid of me leaving. I snuggle down, perfectly happy to remain. heat radiates from his skin, and I like the way it feels.

"of course."

we linger in each other’s arms, both of us coming back into the real world and holding on in an attempt to soften the blow. I just had sex with Spencer.

"thank you." he whispers into my hair.

"for what?" the smile on my face is lazy.

"for doing this."

"well, I really wanted to." I laugh. "so, I guess, thank you, too."

"you're quite welcome." his response is cheerful and then we're both laughing, the sound rumbling from his chest. "can we do it again at some point?"

"I would be happy to." I beam. the contented sigh that leaves his lips, followed by a slight sinking of our bodies down the couch in collective exhaustion, fills me with a joy that's quiet but obvious.

“I’ll last longer next time, I promise.” he says. I can practically hear the blush in his cheeks.

“you did amazing, Spence. don’t worry about it.” I press a few stray kisses to him.

I'll need to go clean up, soon, but it can wait a few more minutes. this is my favorite place on earth.

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