#stabby squad

[iheardhimcry]

HI BESTIE

OMG HELLO I MISSED U ON HERE FR

#brynn (faraag) #stabby squad

[house-of-slayterr]

Me and the squad on the way to get killed by slashers this Halloween!

#sam trick r treat #trick r treat #slashers #slasher meme #slasher lover #stabby stab #squad goals #Halloween #happy halloween

[shirtshawaiian]

throwback to me trying to play dark urge bg3 and literally stopping because i kept getting distracted by gale

#i started up 2 new runs sorry ricardio stabby. my eyes cannot help but wander #ricardio stabby you fumbled (i say as though he hasnt got halsin) #bg3 is so interesting the way everything is so different every time #and yet so the same. bc i keep playing w the same squad

[dhampiravidi]

a beginner’s guide to the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II Fandom (most of it)

Captain John Price: den dad. He’s got the moustache to prove it. Nikolai is his Russian pilot BF.

Ghost’s real name is Simon Riley. Some say he’s blonde, some dark-haired. Feel free to choose a side. Feel free to ship him w/anyone you want (Soap, Roach, or Gaz in any combo). Just understand that he is the scariest babygirl. Very tall, very stabby, very masked unless he wants to make you his husband.

Laswell: den aunt (not mom just bc she’s not around as much). Friends w/Price. She can get him to do anything. She’s married to some lucky woman (IDK if this is canon but good for her).

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish: is a chaotic team w/Gaz & Roach. They pull pranks, gossip & man the group chat which is full of memes. Soap is very proud of his Scottish heritage (so are we!). He’s looking respectfully at Ghost’s butt. He loves blowing things up & he craves words of affirmation.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick: Price’s informally adopted son. Price likes to think he’s responsible & tbh he is until someone is needed to film Soap & Roach’s antics. He’s just trying to live his life but the love lives of everyone leave him exasperated (hard to keep up).

Gary “Roach” Sanderson: precious smol bby.

König: another precious bby. He’s just taller than everyone, by MUCH (pretty sure he’s like 6’7” based on pictures). His sniper hood is a shirt w/holes. He occasionally knocks over things & gets embarrassed but no one is mad. He uses his lil Austrian puns/sayings & everyone is confused (they just like that he sounds happy).

Phillip Graves: fucking asshole. He’s only a “good guy” in fics so the guys can prank him, or so Ghost can scare the shit out of him, or so someone can fuck him in some kind of consensual frenemy hatesex fic.

Farah Ahmed Karim: badass rebel woman who needs no one (which sucks I guess because the squad loves her). Also Alex probably has a crush on her. Bonus: she’s voiced by an actress from The Boys.

Alex Keller: the nice American guy! He definitely holds his own, even though he’s usually the one who doesn’t get the joke in fanfics. Most ship him with Farah & Gaz in a lovely trio.

Alejandro Vargas: sexy Spanish speaking dude who helps the 141 in combat & love issues. He’s dating Rudy.

Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra: also speaks Spanish. He’s dating Alejandro, who he’s known since forever.

#cod mwii #admin #call of duty #modern warfare ii #john price #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #kyle gaz garrick #nikolai mwii #pricenik #soapghost truther #kate laswell #könig mwii #phillip graves #alejandro vargas #rodolfo “rudy” parra

[iamafanofcartoons]

Weiss:…Really, Yang? Really? Ruby: Sis, this is not the time or place! Blake: Just because you can, does not mean you should! Yang: Hey, if it works! Right guys? (Waves at the villains they’re supposed to be fighting). Hazel: I’m asexual, the only thing I’m passionate about is vengeance against OZZZZPINNNN! (Everyone jumps back) Hazel: But he’s not here right now. Tyrian:  My only interest is defending the beauty of our Goddess! Watts: I’m Sapiosexual. Mercury: Meaning? Emerald: Oh I know this one! It means he’s only sexually attracted to people based on intelligence. Tyrian: So her majesty then. Watts: Wait what? Tyrian: Are you saying that our Queen is not a glorious and brilliant ruler?! Watts: No wait, she certainly is, I would never acknowledge Her Grace as anything less! Tyrian: So you do have an attraction to her Majesty! Watts: So do you! Tyrian:  At least I’m not hiding it. Emerald:  Can we focus? Watts: Yes, Cinder fan-girl, do stop. Emerald: Wait, what are you saying? Mercury: He’s saying you’re into Cinder the same way Stabby Tail is into Cinder’s boss. Emerald: You wanna go, Dildo-legs? Hazel: ENOUGH! (Quirky Mini-Boss squad stops comedic bickering to listen to the serious guy) Hazel: In case you forgot, our targets are…wait, where they’d go? BEEP (X5) Watts: Oh Dear. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

_____________________________________________________________________________________ Salem (Does the Gendo Ikari Hand Gesture): You knew their fighting abilities, you had fought with them before, you had them outnumbered, you even knew the environment… (Competent and semi-competent minions remain silent, Tyrian crying at disappointing Mommy Salami) Mercury raises his hand Salem:  I’m.Not.Done.Boi. Mercury lowers his hand. Salem: Now I’d like to know just how it was possible for all of you to fail like this? Not even Haven was like this. Hazel takes a breath. Salem:  Hazel Rainart, I hope for your sake you do not plan to do another “Take one for the team” attempt that tries to cover up for what the team did. Or do you enjoy being bound up by my tentacles? Hazel, stops, considers…Then takes an even deeper breath. Mercury: It was Boobs. (Ackward silence.) Salem: Excuse me? Mercury: You know how Team RWBY gained that transforming ability? Salem: That leaves them wide open for you to kick-shoot them up in the face? Mercury: Blondie’s shout-phrase was “Big titties” Salem: And? Mercury: That started a conversation that- (Crippled Psychopathic Assassin shut up by fancy pistol from Jock-Nerd and Mecha-Tail from Psycho Fan-Boi covering his mouth) Tyrian: Let’s not sweat the small stuff. Watts: Basically we were distracted. Salem: By boobs? Seriously?  My greatest operatives….distracted by a woman’s chest? And what happened next may I ask? Hazel:  They took advantage of our distraction to throw explosives and explosive dust rounds around, and brought the warehouse down on us. Angry Boss “Lady?”:….. Evil minions who need focus on hormones 2nd, mission priorities first:…. Salem waves her hand and the door opens… Multiple tentacled grimm appear. Salem: Now I am not a therapist or a counselor, but we have got to work on your hormones before I send you any missions….this will be your price for failure. (The following content is flagged NC-17 for tentacles, and too many other tags to count...let's use our imagination) Meanwhile, elsewhere… Cinder receives shivers down her spine, nearly lighting herself on fire to get rid of the chills. Evil Mute Cutie hides a smile looking at evil Ms. Eyepatch on High-Heels getting Random Spooks.

Artist is DebzTheNaught

https://twitter.com/DebzTheNaught/status/1290307790183870475

#DebzTheNaught #rwby #rwby fanart #hazel rainart #arthur watts #mercury black #rwby salem #emerald sustrai #tyrian callows #rwby ruby #rwby ruby rose #ruby rose #rwby weiss #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #rwby blake #rwby yang #yang xiao long #rwby comic #rwby fancomic

[ratofscience]

Stabby boy squad finished! It took waaaaaay too long but I am pretty happy with how they turned out. They will see game time this week as well! If I remember I'll get some pictures of that as well. :)

(I need to figure out how to get better pictures...)

#adeptus mechanicus #admech #painting warhammer #warhammer 40000 #warhammer 40k #warhammer miniatures #miniature wargaming #skitarii #imperium of man #my art #my minis

[it-is-i-zim]

May I ask you about n°22 -"your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores" for Captain Boomerang?

In short? His whole ass existence is ignored. He's my boy and he's often put in a dumpster and then that dumpster is set on fire and that on fire dumpster is then thrown onto a desert island and that desert island is full of demons that eat on fire dumpsters.

This is ESPECIALLY true when it comes to his comic counterpart. No one even wants to look in his direction unless they're a hater. For 2 years I've been fighting for my life about this man because everyone *cough cough* Tim Drake fans* couch cough* wanted to talk shit on him.

All I ever hear about is Kill the Justice League Boomerang. Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's everything I wish Comic Boomerang was, but it's only Kill the Justice League Boomerang right now. Up until like 2021, it was pretty much only Jai Courtney Boomerang, who I'm not particularly fond of btw. He literally does not even look like Captain Boomerang at all.

But in all seriousness, what the fandom likes to ignore is that he's a former Flash Rogue. For me there was always this sort of complex morality that I liked when it came to the Rogues, but because Captain Boomerang is most often Suicide Squad member, if he shows up at all honestly, that part of him is ignored in both canon and fanon. Canon writers want him to be a mercenary or an assassin so bad but it just doesn't fit him. And fanon doesn't want to touch him at all unless their a Tim Drake fan. Then they'll go overboard with the murder and the stabbiness.

Like... Captain Boomerang is not a killer unless put in extreme circumstances. That's how Rogues work. They aren't going around and killing innocent people and everyone acts like that's what Boomer does because he's killing people (usually fascist dictators btw. Not usually random people) for the US government. Not even of his own free will. He's got a bomb in his head and if he doesn't murder these people he's killed.

Even the game fucks this up btw, using Mirror Master and Top as examples of Rogues that'll be mad that Boomer killed the Flash. Like... If this is Evan McCulloch specifically... Do I need to remind the class he dressed up as Pied Piper to kill Pied Piper's parents to accuse Pied Piper of murdering his own parents? I know that's when he was one of Blacksmith's Rogues, but he's still a Rogue. And with Top... He tried to start a war between Rogues so Captain Cold, who literally made the no killing rule and is a stickler for the rules, murdered the Top. And if I learned anything from the story where Walter West as Dark Flash nearly kills Captain Boomerang... The Rogues can and will have the intention to kill a Flash if they're legitimately a danger to their safety. And Kill the Justice League Flash would have for sure killed countless people if not for the Squad killing him so honestly I don't think the Rogues would actually care at all. They just probably don't want to hear Boomerang brag about it constantly.

Also I would like if they elaborated on the giant humanoid snake people with prehensile tongues that live in the Australian Outback. What the hell I'm intrigued.

#choose violence ask game

[sadraccoon061]

Literally no one asked but here are what I think my Beloved Galar Squad would be as Dungeons and Dragons classes (inc. subclasses lessgo):

Milo - Druid (Circle of the Land, Forest)

Nessa - Druid (Circle of the Land, Coast)

Kabu - Fighter (Battle Master)

Bea - Prolly goes without saying but Monk (Way of The Open Hand)

Gordie - Cleric (Forge Domain)

Allister - Warlock (Great Old One)

Melony - Cleric (Tempest Domain)

Opal - Wizard (Enchantment)

Piers - Bard. A Very Stabby One. (College of Whispers)

Raihan - Barbarian (Storm Herald)

Leon - Paladin (Oath of Devotion)

Hop - Ranger (Beast Master)

Marnie - Rogue (Arcane Trickster)

Bede - Sorcerer (Wild Magic)

Sonia - Cleric (Knowledge Domain)

#swshmybeloved #pokemon swsh #pokemon shield #pokemon sword #pokemon sword shield #raihan pokemon #piers pokemon #leon pokemon #pokemon #nessa pokemon #milo pokemon #kabu pokemon #bea pokemon #allister pokemon #melony pokemon #gordie pokemon #marnie pokemon #hop pokemon #bede pokemon #opal pokemon #thats a lot of tags #sonia pokemon #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dnd5e #wdym I spent way too much time on this

[moonfurthetemmie]

How are H!DS when they’re sick? Like a moderately bad cold, coughing, sleepiness, all that fun stuff. More stabby? Less?

I know DS Dream (and presumably Del by extension) can’t get sick because magic apples, but hypothetically how would he be?

okay well firstly the horror squad has a new nickname for delusion. someone called him 'del' for no real reason and the squad was like 'hahaha dell computer ass bitch'

Secondly…

Gouge, Byte, and Slash are crabby and bitchy about it. Pluto would be, too. The Horror Squad tries to take care of their sick fool, but they probably all end up getting sick because they live and sleep together.

Excluding Pluto because spirits can’t get sick or drugged or poisoned, but we ARE talking hypothetically.

Delusion would be irritated, but try not to show it. Depending on what he’s sick with, though, it might be hard to keep his emotions squashed down, which is uhhh. Not going to be helpful!! He’d probably be forced to stay in his apartment and recover, which is just going to irritate him more. He has WORK to do! He doesn’t have TIME for this!

Hunter’s whiny and pathetic (affectionate). He’s responsible about it though. Goes to the doctor if he needs to, does what they tell him to, and rests as much as he can. And then whines to Orange. Orange hates it. Hunter continues to do it, because he’s miserable. Also fuck Orange.

Pulaski’s kinda ‘suck it up’ when he gets sick, but he does try to rest so he can recover. He doesn’t complain much, no matter how miserable he is.

Sparrow’s a bit like what Delusion would be, but easier to convince to go rest. Especially when Spindle recovers and he and Pulaski are with him after the Final Girl Finch ending. The two tag team Sparrow until he stops working and just rests and recovers. Or goes to the doc, if necessary.

Spindle is usually grumbly, but he’ll whine and sniffle pathetically if Sparrow’s there. Assuming demons even CAN get sick. Prior to demonification he probably didn’t get sick while he was in custody, so. But, if he can get sick as a demon, he wants Sparrow to take care of him :(( he’s sick (true) and dying (joke) and lonely (situational)!! Sparrow rolls his eyes but takes care of his idiot.

Fester, if demons can get sick, is more likely to get sick that Spindle because they’re still inhabiting a human body. They’ll probably think they were cursed for a while, though. And it’ll take a lot for Pulaski to convince Fester that no, he’s not cursed, he’s just sick and needs to rest.

#horror!ds #horror!dreamswap #h!ds questions #h!ds delusion #h!ds slash #h!ds pluto #h!ds byte #h!ds hunter #h!ds gouge

[iheardhimcry]

missing old wattblr rn

#stabby squad i miss u all #we are the tigers #watt

[swaps55]

Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil

@pigeontheoneandonly shared a Treat headcanon on Halloween that due to a series of unlikely events, Kaidan had a single speaking line in a B-movie while in college.

I thought this was incredible, so I wrote about it. Set in the Opus!verse, pre-ME1, on the SSV Myeongnyang. Shockingly, it turned into a Sam & Kaidan first kiss AU. No one could have seen this coming.

Happy N7 Day!

mshenko/3.5k words | Ao3

~

Shepard thunders through the ‘Yang’s airlock like it’s a day of reckoning, and every single person between him and the crew deck makes the quick and wise decision to get the hell out of his way before they wind up being the one he reckons with.

He blows past the mess – where Kaidan, Aslany, and Beaudoin watch Pendergrass continue to add pepper to a bowl of macaroni and cheese – without a hello, on a trajectory for the gym. Some poor punching bag is probably about to see its life flash before its eyes.

“What the fuck is eating him?” Pendergrass asks. Kaidan’s already lost the bet on how much pepper she can add before it becomes inedible. Aslany and Beaudoin have more faith in her ability to consume ungodly amounts of pepper.

“Lunch with his mother,” Kaidan says with a sigh. The stars had aligned to put both the ‘Yang and the Hyderabad at Arcturus at the same time. Kaidan had tried convincing him to turn down Captain Shepard’s invitation – she’s sure set a precedent for it – but it had been like trying to reason with a brick wall.

And now they’re all going to pay the price.

“Who gets the short straw for sorting him out enough to have movie night?” Aslany asks as Pendergrass dumps more pepper into the bowl. Kaidan considers looking up if there’s a threshold where pepper becomes toxic. When they sat down for this experiment, Kaidan kept telling himself at least Pendergrass cooked the mac and cheese, unlike Shepard who eats it raw, straight out of the box with the cheese powder as a seasoning.

“Unless I get hazard pay, not me,” Beaudoin says.

“You’re a goat,” Aslany says. “That’s what you do.”

“Goat, sure, but I’m a goat with self-preservation instincts.”

“I could tape a note to Stabby,” Pendergrass offers. “That might be safest.”

“I’ll do it,” Kaidan says.

They all stare at him like he’s volunteered for a suicide mission. It’s not far from the truth. Even Kaidan rarely has luck talking him down from this kind of black mood, and just waits for it to blow over on its own. Surviving the attempt is going to require an ace he’s been keeping up his sleeve in hopes he’d never have to use it.

But the squad has rituals.

Kaidan sighs heavily. “I just need you all to understand the sacrifice I’m about to make in the name of movie night.”

~

Shepard’s still a bomb waiting to go off by the time they pile on the couches for movie night, but at least he’s there. Kaidan is the only one brave enough to sit beside him, and Shepard has the audacity to glare at him, like the whole thing is his fault.

“This better be as good as you say,” Shepard grumbles. “I’ve got shit to do.”

“No you don’t,” Kaidan replies.

Shepard’s glare could wilt steel, but Kaidan’s right, so the threat is empty. If only the Alliance brass knew how petulantly the Butcher of Torfan could pout.  

“Also,” Kaidan cautions, queuing up the movie and kissing any sense of peace he might ever have again in his life goodbye, “I never said it was good. I cannot state that clearly enough. All I said is it’s one of a kind.”

Beaudoin hands out beers to everyone before sitting down beside Aslany on the second couch, while Pendergrass drapes over an armchair in ways that hurt Kaidan’s back just to look at her. Beaudoin squints at the dramatic title scrawl when Kaidan hits play.

“Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil. Well. It’s definitely a B-movie.”

Shepard eyes the screen warily. “I haven’t heard of this one.”

Kaidan hides a smirk. “I told you.”

“I’ve heard of all of them,” Shepard insists. “There’s no way you actually know one I don’t.”

“It had a limited release,” Kaidan says, eyes on the screen and not anywhere near Shepard, who is now very intrigued.

“What’s it about?” Pendergrass asks.

“Shapeshifters who come to terrorize the teenagers in a small town on Earth. They stop people’s hearts with a ray gun. But they have to shapeshift into the species whose heart they’re stopping for it to work.”

“…I have so many questions,” Beaudoin says.

“I can guarantee you all the answers have to do with budget, costuming limitations, and the age pool of people who owed the production crew favors.”

Shepard looks at Kaidan like he’s the shapeshifter. “How do you know about this movie?”

“Just watch,” Kaidan replies.

It’s just as bad as Kaidan remembers. The costumes look like someone decided to predict the future of fashion by going back to the 20th century and revisiting their ideas on the future of fashion. The relay is a flat image with a strobe light in the gyroscope to mimic the mass effect core. The shapeshifter ship is just stock footage of an Alliance cruiser with a badly superimposed ship name. The Temptation’s Berth.

“Little on the nose, isn’t it?” Aslany asks.

“They were aiming for symbolism,” Kaidan replies.

“They missed.”

“No,” Shepard says, reaching for Pendergrass’ bowl of popcorn, excitement creeping across his face. “It’s perfect.”

Kaidan stifles a smile behind his hand. Letting this particular skeleton out of the closet is something he’ll probably never live down.

That smile is worth it.

Kaidan settles back into the couch and awaits his fate.  

Aslany figures it out first.

“Wait,” she says, thirty minutes in, after the first heart-stopping death but before the ‘band of teenage heroes come together as a team to stop the shapeshifter threat’ part. Before anyone can react, she backs the movie up a few frames and pauses it. When no one says anything, she jabs a finger right through the holo projection.

Beaudoin nearly chokes on his drink. “Wait. Alenko. Is that you?”

Four pairs of incredulous eyes swivel towards Kaidan.

“Maybe,” Kaidan replies, and takes a sip from his beer.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Pendergrass crows, dissolving into helpless laughter.

“Reflective mylar.”

It had crinkled to the point of distraction and been murderously hot to wear. Well, for the parts of him that were covered, anyway.

“Your tits are hanging out,” Pendergrass cries, actual tears forming. “Damn, Alenko, you were in your prime.”

“I’m still in my prime,” he protests.  

Aslany sniggers into the arm rest. Beaudoin’s face does a series of acrobatics trying to remain neutral while processing the sight of a twenty-year old Kaidan wearing a reflective mylar jumpsuit with the chest cut out.

Shepard, though, just openly stares.

“How, um.” Shepard stops, gathers his thoughts with a bewildered shake of his head, and finally tears his gaze away to look at the present incarnation of Kaidan Alenko. Who isn’t wearing a playboy mylar jumpsuit. “How did you wind up in this movie, exactly?”

Kaidan fights back some thoughts over the way Shepard just stared at his bare chest – sure, it was a digital version of it from ten years ago, but it was his chest – and clears his throat. “I did OCS in Mumbai and squeaked in some university credits while I was there. I, uh, accidentally wound up friends with a group of film students after my roommate dragged me to a party.”

“What, and you just said, ‘hey, sure, I’ll prance around half-naked in your shitty space movie?’” Aslany asks with a snort.

“No,” Kaidan replies, attempting to remain diplomatic. “A buddy of mine had a thing for the script writer. Or was she a producer? Hell, I can’t remember. She did a lot of things on that movie. He forced me to go to auditions with him as a wingman.”

“And?” Aslany prods.

Kaidan sighs. “She gave the part to me, not him.”

“Part?” Shepard exclaims. “You had a part? You weren’t just an extra?”

“One line. Just one line. That…she rewrote. After I got cast. Because, uh. Turns out she wasn’t into my buddy.”

Beaudoin once again fails to sip his beer without choking.

“She was into you,” Pendergrass yells. “She put you in a metallic sex jumpsuit because you were hot as fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan says, in exasperation, “Why do we keep using the past tense about my appearance?”

“I’m just saying. Bet people wanted to climb you like a tree.”

This time Beaudoin manages to swallow his beer by downing half the bottle.

Aslany jabs at the holo controls. “Wait, so what’s the line?”

“Yeah,” Shepard says, an almost captivated look on his face. His eyes dart briefly back to the holo. “What’s your line?”  

Kaidan sighs in defeat and gestures to Aslany. “Go on. Play it.”

On the screen, a group of ‘teenagers’ – not a single one younger than twenty, Kaidan recalls – being targeted by the shapeshifters furtively discuss their plight at a table in a bar, while suspecting each other of being shapeshifters. Kaidan, credited as ‘Bartender #9’ despite being the only bartender in the movie, serves them their drinks.

“Aren’t you afraid one of us could be a shape shifter?” one of the women – the writer, who pulled double duty as one of the heroic ‘teens’ – asks him. Kaidan braces himself.

“Can’t stop my heart when I’ve already given it to someone else.”

Pendergrass howls and throws the entire bowl of popcorn, showering both couches. Aslany grabs a pillow and buries her face in it to smother her laughter. Beaudoin tries to say something and only manages a wheeze. Shepard just stares at him – both versions of him – like he’s walked into an MC Escher painting and can’t find his way back out.

“That’s your line?” Pendergrass cries. “That’s your line? What does that mean?”

Kaidan shrugs, side-eyeing Shepard.

“You even winked at her,” Aslany says in awe.

“Please tell me you get your heart stopped by a shapeshifter,” Beaudoin says.

“My fate is unknown,” Kaidan replies. “That’s my only scene. Shockingly, the royalties were not enough for me to retire on.”

Shepard rewinds and plays through it twice more, expression almost impossible to read until he turns back to Kaidan, a slow grin spreading across his face.

“This is fucking incredible.”

Kaidan’s stomach flips.

“How could you keep this from me?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a career highlight,” Kaidan replies, flush creeping up his neck. “But…you love these kinds of movies. Figured one day you might need a pick me up.” He takes a deliberate sip of his beer to avoid Shepard’s gaze.

He waits for Shepard to say something. For anyone to say something. Instead, Shepard slings an arm behind Kaidan and rests it on the back of the couch – not quite around Kaidan’s shoulders, but not not around his shoulders – and rewinds the scene to watch it again.  

“Fucking incredible,” Shepard repeats. Butterflies loose in Kaidan’s stomach.

“You’re so weird,” Pendergrass tells him with a snicker.

They watch the scene three more times, each time resulting in extended commentary on Kaidan’s outfit, before Aslany wrestles control of the holo away from Shepard and lets the movie just play. Beaudoin shakes his head the entire time. Aslany points out every gun-toting actor who’s never held a gun. Pendergrass attempts to make a drinking game out of the mylar costumes, but everyone quickly decides they don’t want to be that hung over.

Shepard just watches the movie, posture relaxed, easy grin on his face, no trace of the storm clouds. Every now and then he shifts his gaze away from the screen to look at Kaidan, and each time, Kaidan’s stomach does another somersault. By the end of it, their knees rest against each other and Shepard’s fingers brush Kaidan’s shoulder.

Yeah. It’s worth a future full of mylar jokes.

“That was terrible,” Beaudoin announces when the credits roll.

“I was rooting for the shapeshifters,” Aslany says.

“Do you think they sell mylar on Arcturus?” Pendergrass asks.

Shepard almost whacks Kaidan in the head when he retracts his arm to wrestle the remote from Aslany before she can turn it off. “Hang on, not yet.”

“It’s over,” Aslany protests. “Time for darts.”

“He wants to see Alenko’s name in the credits,” Beaudoin says with a shit-eating grin. Shepard, for his part, actually looks flustered.

“Yeah,” he admits.

“It’s no big deal,” Kaidan says, ears burning.

“Big deal to me,” Shepard says, knocking him in the shoulder. “One of our squad’s a movie star.”

“Hardly.”

Shepard ignores him and squints at the credits. Kaidan tries not to preen over the attention, which is easy when Pendergrass starts laughing again.

“Kaiden Alenko,” Aslany reads. “They spelled it wrong.”

“All the easier to keep it a secret,” Kaidan tells her. “I’m trusting the four of you with my life here.”

“Thought you were smarter than that,” Beaudoin says with a chuckle.

Pendergrass, who is now upside down on the couch with her feet in the air and her head dangling near the floor, eyes him. “So what happened with you and the writer?”

“What do you mean?” Kaidan asks.

“Did she get in your pants like she wanted?”

Beaudoin smacks her leg. She winds up sliding off the couch and onto the floor, before fumbling for some needlepoint she keeps stashed under the coffee table. Kaidan can only imagine the additions coming to the cross-stitch wall.

“Um, no,” Kaidan replies, rubbing the back of his neck, aware that Shepard is paying rapt attention. “Though, uh, I did wind up at her place.”

“Wait, but you said she didn’t get in your pants,” Aslany says, confusion on her face.

“Well, she said she wanted to talk about the movie.”

Beaudoin raises an eyebrow. “She put you in a mylar jumpsuit without a shirt, had you deliver a line about giving her your heart, and you thought she wanted to talk about the movie?”

He shrugs helplessly.

Beaudoin props his chin in a hand. “This is fascinating to me.”

“So…what happened?” Shepard says, twirling his beer in his hands and staring very intently at the remaining liquid swishing inside.

Kaidan glances at him, then shrugs again. “I left after she told me I wasn’t a good kisser.”

“I highly doubt that,” Shepard mutters under his breath, and Beaudoin chokes on his drink again.

“Well, yeah,” Aslany deadpans. “You hadn’t given her your heart.”

Pendergrass sniggers. Beaudoin offers Aslany a high five, which she accepts with a resounding smack.

Kaidan ignores all of them. Except Shepard.

“You, uh. You think I’d be a good kisser.”  

Shepard heaves to his feet. “What aren’t you good at?”

Kaidan stutters long enough on a response that Shepard is already halfway to the dart board, apparently already having left the topic behind.

Probably for the best.

Beaudoin makes a round of drinks, and each of them take turns quoting Heartstoppers when it’s their turn to throw darts. Kaidan does his best to forget about the whole thing, which is hard to do when Shepard keeps stealing glances in his direction.

“You’re off your game tonight, Alenko,” Beaudoin says with a grin.

Kaidan scowls at him before sinking a bullseye.

“Yeah, but can you do that in mylar?” Aslany asks.

This time it’s Shepard who chokes into his drink and hastily wipes his chin.

Don’t read into it, don’t read into it.

“I trusted you with this very humiliating fact about my youth, Aslany,” he says instead.

“Yeah, but you forgot you’re ours to humiliate,” Aslany reminds him. “It’s other people who try to humiliate you we’ll beat the shit out of.”  

He chuckles. Shepard’s lip curves in a smile that warms Kaidan right to his toes.

When they finally call it a night, Kaidan deviates towards the dark, quiet galley to dig some crackers out of the ‘hungry biotic’ stash he keeps stocked in a drawer. Shepard’s biotic field washes through him when he straightens. The other three are nowhere in sight.

“Hey,” Kaidan says, blinking at him curiously. “Still hungry?”

Shepard shakes his head, rocking back and forth on his toes, glancing from his feet to something behind Kaidan’s shoulder – anywhere but Kaidan himself.

“What’s wrong?” Kaidan asks, wariness flooding him.

Shepard opens his mouth, closes it again, then mutters, “Fuck it,” and closes the distance between them so fast Kaidan doesn’t register what’s happening until Shepard takes his chin in his fingers and kisses him right on the mouth.

It’s rough. Awkward, even. But it’s Shepard, kissing him like he’s going all in with every chip on the table even though he has a losing hand. His stubble catches against Kaidan’s, his lips are chapped, and he’s so tense he might snap.

Kaidan sucks in a surprised breath when Shepard lets him go, fingers still on his chin, mere inches of space between them. Shepard’s eyes are wide, like Kaidan’s not the only one trying to figure out what just happened.

“Told you,” Shepard murmurs, chest heaving like he just ran a sprint.

“Were you…” Kaidan tries to catch his breath. “Did you just kiss me to prove I’m a good kisser?”

“Yeah,” Shepard says, a panicked look coming across his face. “I think I did.”

He’s still right there. Kaidan lays a palm against Shepard’s chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his uniform.

“So, um. It was good,” Kaidan manages.

“Yeah,” Shepard breathes. “Thought it would be.”

“Kiss me again,” Kaidan whispers, trembling.

Shepard strokes his chin with his thumb, like he’s parsing each word and making sure they mean what he thinks they mean. Then he just nods, and leans in again.

Not rough, this time. This time it’s gentle. Slow. Soft. Filled with anticipation, maybe even hope. Kaidan wraps an arm around his neck, drawing him in until they’re flush against each other, Shepard’s biotic field like silk under his skin.

“Oh,” Shepard says when they part again. “I, uh. I think I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”

Kaidan can’t speak. Even if he could think of what to say, it wouldn’t be the right thing. The only thing he can think of is kissing him again, so that’s what he does.

This time it’s messy, filled with want, and Shepard gives back every bit as good as Kaidan gives.

It’s really good. Good enough Kaidan winds up with his back against the bulkhead and Shepard fingers twined in his hair, a soft gasp against his lips.

When they come up for air, Shepard’s hand rests on Kaidan’s hip, and his eyes sweep Kaidan’s chest before lingering on his mouth again.

“I, uh.”

“We cannot tell anyone this happened after you saw me in a B-movie wearing reflective mylar.”

Shepard leans his forehead against Kaidan as laughter spills out. The hand on Kaidan’s hip circles his waist and traps him close.

As if Kaidan had plans to go anywhere.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Should keep that to ourselves.” Shepard trails up and down Kaidan’s chest with his fingers, lip between his teeth in a way that makes stripping his shirt right there in the galley a very logical course of action.

A slow smile spreads across Kaidan’s face.

“Are you…imagining me in mylar right now?”

A fiery blush lights up Shepard’s cheeks. It’s beautiful. “No.”

“You’re lying,” Kaidan says, with mock indignation “Wow, not even five minutes after you kiss me for the first time and you’re already lying to me. Can feel my heart stopping already.”

Shepard snickers, burying his nose against Kaidan’s neck. “Do I get any credit for trying really hard not to be thinking of you in a mylar jumpsuit?”

“Definitely not.”

“Come on.”

Kaidan chuckles, brushing his knuckles against Shepard’s cheek. “All this time, and it turns out all I needed to do was show you the most mortifying moment from my past.”

“I really love B-movies, Kaidan,” Shepard protests.

Kaidan swallows the rest of his defense in another kiss.

“You’re really good at that,” Shepard says when they catch their breath again. “That woman is out of her mind. Really glad she didn’t shapeshift and stop your heart.”

Kaidan walks fingers up Shepard’s chest, doing his best attempt at seductive. “Can’t stop my heart if I’ve given it to someone else.”

Shepard stares at him. Now it’s Kaidan’s turn to blush.

“Shit, did I ruin it?”

“Nope,” Shepard says with a very adamant, almost embarrassed shake of his head. “Uh, quite the opposite. But we should probably continue this…not in the galley.” He takes Kaidan’s hand, their fingers lacing effortlessly together like it’s something they’ve done their entire lives.

“Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil,” Shepard mutters as they head hand-in-hand towards his cabin. “Can’t even believe it. What do you even think happened to your character, anyway?”

Kaidan eyes the door to Shepard’s cabin as it slides open and takes a deep breath. “I’ve got a few ideas. Want to find out?”  

“Yeah,” Shepard says, breathless. “I do.”

The door swishes shut.

…and then they fucked.

#mass effect #mshenko #kaidan alenko #my fic #n7 day #heartstoppers from beyond the veil #first kiss au

[lorata]

its not really thoughts because I can't form any right now, so just AAAHHHH YOUR NEW LIME FICK it's amazing and I want to eat it. I love the way it ended but at the same time I just want more and to find cato. also what did all the other victors who didn't know think after the treason roadtrip? and why did adessa and Ronan just go, okay, coolio I believe you? what did Nero tell them? and if Ronan was ready to do this the whole time (I mean he had so much reason to) why didn't he in canon? what about this moment made him go okay sure why not

let's be real the answer is "I need this to happen for the fic to exist"

but I think the reason Ronan did the big stabby-stabby here and not in canon is that ....... someone came to him from the future and was like, hey you know what, this keeps happening for 25 years, our kids keep dying, and then we all die, there is no point to anything we are doing

and maybe she's wrong! maybe she's a kid who needs serious mental help and not from the future or whatever! but at the same time ..... my god that's plausible. what would his future even look like, anyway? years and years of making deals to keep the status quo from getting worse. years of eating poisoned cookies. years of dead children. and if she's right -- for what? nothing. nothing, in the end.

fuck it, we ball.

in canon, on the other hand, he doesn't know any of that. he's still clinging to the hope that this will all be worth it, that he'll find a solution, that he'll wear Coriolanus down somehow -- hell, that Coriolanus will die, he's getting up there, and the next president will be better. he's IN the situation and is firmly entrenched in a risk-reward ratio that favours not rocking the boat. hence, he puts all his money on playing the long game, the needs of the many vs. the needs of the few, and in the end it betrays him.

Adessa, meanwhile, is fresh off the Nero betrayal and is ready to MURDER. give her any excuse, honestly, mama wants to KILL.

@literallyjustanyurlatthispoint also brought up the non-murder squad victors reacting to this on the news the next day and I think it would be PRIME comedy honestly. especially for baby victor Brutus who has absolutely no idea what to think

#lorata answers #anonymous #we must be killers: tales from district 2

[rosettamidnight]

Tokrev Incorrect quotes (with my two ocs).

Lucua, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Manjiro: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Lucua, with the tone of someone who is used to Manjiro: Outstanding.

Lucua: This is what I’m talking about people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucua, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Kisaki: But – that’s just a trash can.

Lucua: It sure is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Manjiro: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Baji: *chugs entire bottle*

Baji: It’s perfume.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Manjiro: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Draken: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Okay, help me please!

Lucua: Got two words for you.

Baji: I bet they won't be helpful.

Lucua: Your problem.

Baji: I was right

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Takemichi: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Baji: Death is a social construct.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Hey Lucia,

Lucua: Yes?

Baji: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Lucua:

Lucua: Where’s Manjiro?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Lucua: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Manjiro: I got distracted about halfway through.

Draken: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucia: Is having a penis fun?

Baji : It has its ups and downs.

Manjiro: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Kazutora: It’s a pain in the ass.

Draken : Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Lucia: Tubular AF!

Manjiro: Mood to the max!

Draken, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Kazutora , just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Lucua: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Baji: Three of us saw it, Lucua. How do you explain that?

Lucia: *points at Manjiro* Sleep deprivation. *points at Draken* Paranoia. *points at Kazutora * Delusional personality disorder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Manjirou : What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Lucia: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Kazutora : Socks are Feetie Heaties

Baji: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Lucua: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Kazutora : Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Chifuyu: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Draken, annoyed: You are disappointments

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The squad right before takemichi 's wedding*

Lucia: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Manjiro: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Draken: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Kazutora : I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

Chifuyu, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mitsuya: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Lucia: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Draken: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Lucia, learn to listen.

Lucua: What if it bites itself and I die?

Kazutora : That’s voodoo.

Chifuyu: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Lucua: That’s correlation, not causation.

Manjiro: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Kazutora : That’s kinky.

Baji: Oh my God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Croissants: dropped

Lucia: Road: works ahead

Manjiro: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Chifuyu: Shavacado: fre

Kazutora : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Draken:

Draken , grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The squad is over at Baji's house*

Lucia: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Baji: ... N-No...

Baji, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Lucia, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Manjiro: I see a-

Baji, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Lucia: Oh, well I-

Baji: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Baji, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Chifuyu: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Kazutora : Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Baji: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Baji: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Baji, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Baji: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Chifuyu, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Baji:

Lucia: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Baji:

Baji, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baji: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Lucua's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

_____________________________

I had a lot of fun with this.

#tokyo revengers x oc #tokrev #incorrect tokyo revengers quotes #mild cursing

[manic-catgirl-mayor]

"Norm allen in the flesh! Here comes the cootie squad! We shou- shut up stabby!" Heather's x dialtown crossover!! No one else was gonna do it smh

#dialtown phone dating sim #dialtown #dialtown shooty and stabby #mayor mingus #mingus my beloved<333 #heathers x dialtown!?

[rydiathesummoner]

This Dawntrail poster looks great. There are a lot more new people than I expected. I'm guessing the big stabby boy at the top will be a major antagonist. Why is he so big though? Did a Growing buff get out of control or something?

I'm guessing these two are the "contenders" who are in line to be the next leaders? I'm rooting for Hrothgar lady without knowing anything about her simply because she looks cool and badass. Actually, maybe not. I might root for the other one so that she doesn't pull an Aymeric and get stuck in an office once her expansion is over. I'd love to have a WAR join the team.

I don't know anything about this catboy but I'm betting he joins the scions. Doesn't matter what he does, he'll be asked to join. How do I know this? He has white hair. Duh.

This girl looks boring. She looks like her purpose in the plot will be to sit on a throne and make the Hand to Heart emote. It's possible she's dead. She looks a bit transparent here. Doesn't matter, she will still make the Hand to Heart emote even if she's dead.

Look at my boy Erenville. I hope he can fight with us, or maybe end up as a Beastmaster buddy or something. I'm excited to get a bun boy on the squad.

One question though: Where are my twin babies? G'raha? Estinien? Y'shtola? What happened to them? Did Y'shtola accidentally transport them to another shard? Did Florida Man get them? If anything happened to my twins you will be sorry, Florida Man.

#ffxiv #ff14 #ffxiv dawntrail #dawntrail #ffxiv fanfest

[fluffypotatey]

Squires being named after older knights/relatives is definitely plausible and not at all uncommon, considering there's, like, three Isoldes and four or five Elaines, and that's why people had epithets or bynames like "Bors the Elder" and "Bors the Younger" or "Elaine of Astolat" and "Elaine of Corbenic."

So we have Lucan the Observant, Nathan the Uppity, Bedivere the Smaller, and Roland the Stabby (yes to Galahad being Lancelot's favourite squire) and may I also put forth for consideration:

Gareth and Gaheris, twin brothers who regularly switch knights and are still waiting for someone to notice.

Dagonet, simultaneously the funniest and meanest mf in the squad, he will Vicious Mockery your ass into dust, try him, and knock your teeth out if that doesn't work.

Andred, (who is totally not related to Tristan, whaaat??, and definitely wasn't snuck in by Elyan, nooooo) who has absolutely taught his bros how to pick locks and pockets and steals Agravaine's stuff all the time.

And Loholt, who...may or may not be a Druid??? Nobody's really sure, they've never seen a tattoo, but it might be somewhere private, who knows? Again. Not their problem. And he's fun.

anon making me open old notes of mine at 7 in the morning dw this is not an inconvenience ily <3

i see your gareth and gaheris twins and raise you gwaine and leon are the only knights who notice. gwaine encourages the switching and even helps in confusing his other knights for the fun of it. leon is too tired to handle something as minor as a stunt like this, so he let's them off scott free. (lucan calls it nepotism because they're his little cousins, but gaheris tells him to shove it and stop being jealous).

bedivere, aka beddy, aka the baby of the group. he abuses his title as the youngest and the squires hate/love him for it. they got themselves into trouble? beddy bats his eyes and the knight don't lecture them too much. training is more grueling? beddy only does half of it because percival felt bad ("HOW DARE HE MESS WITH SIR PERCY'S BLEEDING HEART!!!" "roland let it go" "NEVER HE WILL RUE THE DAY--")

andred sends correspondence letters for elyan and the letters are just him rambling on about his life as a knight to tristan and isolde. tristan is conflicted because he's proud of his surrogate son but also upset that he's a knight of all things. although alternate idea: elyan takes andred in after the s4 finale because tristan is wracked with grief and cannot care for andred the way he and isolde used to, so elyan offers to take the boy in and raise him to be someone they can be proud of and T^T

dagonet and nathan are rivals

nuff said

we also have feirefiz a squire from a distant land who is somehow related to percival but the specifics are hazy. everytime the kid talks about his homeland it only adds to the mystery and confusion because "did you say you had a sword made from diamonds????" "yes, yes, the sword is an heirloom, what's not clicking."

BORS MY BELOVED he worships the ground lancelot walks in and wishes to be the best squire to ever squire. he is ruthless with his pranks and some squires question where his ideas come from.

#i kiss anon on both hands reverently like one would a queen #here's a token of my favor *throws headcanons* #squires of the round table #i would add galahaut but he is not a squire #that man is a whole ass king and rival to arthur + love interest to lancelot #squires play matchmaker with the two because lancelot deserves HAPPINESS DAMN YOU #maybe they also nudge merlin with them as well because the three would make a cute trio #bbc merlin #headcanon #headcanons #i would show you my notes but it's just me screaming so i'd rather not