#taehyung my love🧸

[daechwitatamic]

VII. Supposed to Be With You

(banner by @/itaeetwon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

You and Namjoon support each other through some tough days.

Section Warnings: language, dealing with loss, pov switch to Namjoon for a section or two

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Saturday November 10th

[9:22 AM] You: grocery run??? [9:36 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: ur just using me for my car 🙁 [9:37 AM] You: not true!!! i like when we go together and talk while we shop 🥺 [9:37 AM] You: the car is simply a bonus ☝️ [9:39 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: i mean do i rly want to go run errands this morning… no [9:40 AM] You: you’re the worst [9:43 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: text me later tho! and buy those chips? remember the good ones? [9:45 AM] You: you’re literally insufferable 🙄

Officially on your own, you rise from the couch, coffee mug cooled and almost empty in your hand, and head back to your room to get dressed. When you’re ready, you place your coffee cup in the sink to deal with later and get your little wheely cart from the pantry. When you turn, Namjoon is in the living room, and you jump - just barely fighting back a shriek of surprise.

“God, you really are jumpy,” he laughs. “Are you ever just relaxed?”

“I startle easily!” you say defensively, laughing too. 

“Are you getting groceries?” he asks, eyes catching on the cart in your hands. 

“Yeah,” you say, following his gaze and looking down at your hands. “I was just on my way.”

“Can I go with you?” he asks, totally surprising you. “I need a few things.”

“Oh,” you say, still a little shocked by the question. “You can tell me what you need, if you want! I can grab it for you.”

“I’d rather join you,” he says, “as long as you don’t mind?”

You consider this. “No, I don’t mind,” you say, shrugging. “Do you need a few minutes?”

He shakes his head. “I can go now.”

It’s pleasant, walking through town together, pulling your little cart. It’s unseasonably warm, though the forecast claims you’re due for a frost that night and the next few days will stay cold. Namjoon talks easily with you as you collect produce, meats, and cheeses from the front section of the store. Overhead, the muzak plays 90’s hits that your mom used to love. 

“You start on this side?” he asks, a little playful. “I always start on the other end.”

“I have a system,” you insist, smiling. “You’ll see. It’s very methodical.”

On the cereal row, your favorite brand seems to be low in stock. You stretch on your tippytoes, reaching, fingers just barely catching the corner of the box. It tips, then settles back where it was. 

You know what’s coming, somehow, and you - the world’s jumpiest human - aren’t startled at all when you feel Namjoon’s warm body solidly against your back. One hand steadies you both by resting on your waist, the other reaches easily for the box you wanted.

There’s space between you again, too quickly, as he hands you the box. He avoids your gaze, like he’s not sure if he crossed a line or not. 

“Be careful,” you tease, “or I’ll get spoiled and I’ll ask you to reach all the high places for me.”

He smiles. “It’s a curse I’ve lived with for a long time.”

You make your way, shivering, through the freezer sections, grabbing what you need. Namjoon carries a reusable bag of his own handful of items he’s picked up through the rows, so that he can pay for his separately. 

Once you’re done, you check out and head home. Namjoon places a hand on the cart to pull it for you, and you shoulder him away.

“I’ve got it,” you insist. 

He gives you an indulgent look. “You can let me pull the groceries, Y/N. It doesn’t have to mean anything you don’t want it to mean.”

This shames you into silence, and you move over to let him take the cart. You don’t feel like you deserve the patience he’s affording you. 

“Don’t get all quiet on me, little cactus,” he says, eyeing you sideways. “Everything’s fine. We’re fine.”

What’s we? The only reason you don’t know is because you’re too cowardly to ask.

“What ever happened with your ex?” you ask, needing the subject to change. “We haven’t talked about that in a few weeks. Did you ever answer her?”

Beside you, Namjoon grimaces. 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you say quickly. “I was just curious.”

“I answered her a while ago… back before Halloween. I told her I wasn’t interested in talking. She’s… been persistent.”

You frown. “Has she said what she wants?”

He shakes his head. “Just that she wants to see me, she wants to talk. I’ve pushed it - I know she’s got a reason - but she sticks to that story. She just wants to see me.”

You wrinkle your nose. “It doesn’t sound like she even knows.”

He purses his lips, annoyed with the situation. “That’s not it. She knows. She just can’t straight out say to me that she wants to see me to find out if I miss her or not.”

“Well…” you say carefully. You’re walking behind him a little, so you don’t have to see his face as you ask, “Do you?”

“I truly don’t,” he says, turning to look at you, something earnest and insistent in his voice. Like he needs you to believe him. “Trust me, it was toxic.”

You’re quiet for a minute, following his footsteps. “I think you can recognize the flaws in a relationship and still miss the person, though,” you say quietly. “I’m just saying. I wouldn’t judge you if you did, a little.”

“I don’t,” he says firmly. 

You walk in silence, chastised. Then, you ask, “So she hasn’t given up?”

Namjoon shakes his head again.

“Let me talk to her for you,” you tease. “I’ll sort her out.”

He looks backwards at you now, smiling a little. “You’re not scary,” he disagrees.

You drop your jaw in pretend indignation. “I am scary!” 

He shakes his head. “Not even a little.”

You pretend to gasp. “That is absolutely the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” you pretend to pout, reaching out to give him a playful swat. 

The apartment is in sight, and you’ve got Namjoon’s laugh ringing in your ears as you get close enough to the front steps to register that someone is sitting on them. Then you register the parked car along the sidewalk.

Your brain slowly puts two and two together.

Taehyung watches you two come closer, the groceries in tow. He looks serious, and as you get close enough to talk to him, you wonder anxiously if he’s here because something is wrong. 

“Hi,” you say, a little breathlessly. He steps out of the way to let Namjoon up the stairs with the cart. “We were getting groceries.”

“I see that,” he says, voice just a touch flat. He looks between Namjoon and you. “I called you.”

“Oh,” you say, reaching immediately for your pocket. “I didn’t feel it go off. Sorry, Taetae.” You give him big, sad eyes. He cracks quickly, just like he always has. 

“It’s okay,” he says, sounding more like himself. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang.”

“I definitely do,” you tell him. “Come up while I put the groceries away, and we can figure out a plan?”

He nods, following you up the stairs. In the kitchen, the cart sits in the middle of the kitchen, all of your items waiting for you. Namjoon is in the fridge, putting a few of his own things away. 

You start pulling your own items out of the cart one by one, putting them where they go. You and Namjoon move around each other easily, like it’s choreographed. At one point, he gently takes a box from your hands and puts it up on the highest shelf for you. You smile at him in thanks.

Taehyung watches all of this silently from where he’s perched at the breakfast bar. When your groceries are put away, you face Taehyung and put your hands on your hips. “What do you wanna do?” you ask.

He shrugs easily, his eyes on his phone screen as he scrolls. “Don’t care. What were you gonna do before I showed up?”

Honestly? Probably hang out with Namjoon in the living room, read a little, do some homework, maybe watch a show. 

“I’m going to get some writing done,” Namjoon says, even though nobody asked him. It’s like he wants you to know you can remove him from the equation. You have a feeling that hadn’t been his original plan, either. 

“Just hang out,” you say, looking back at Taehyung. His messy hair falls over his eyes as he bends his head to look at his phone. “Wanna put on a show?”

You get comfortable on the couch. The familiarity sets in, the comfort of doing your normal thing, with your normal person, in your normal place. It’s so much less scary than foraying into uncharted territory with Namjoon. 

But it’s stagnant, too.

“My parents said to tell you hi,” Taehyung informs you from his side of the couch. “They asked how you were.”

“Oh,” you say, looking over the top of your phone at him. “Hi! Tell them I’m good. I miss them! Tell your mom I miss her stew, like, badly.”

“I can’t tell her that,” Taehyung laughs. “She’ll make you some and tell me to drive there to get it for you.”

“I fail to see the problem,” you sniff. From behind Namjoon’s door, you hear the telltale sound of classical music. 

You know what that means - the writing isn’t going well. On the other side of the door, he’s stuck.

Thursday November 15th 

Your alarm on Thursday goes off way before it should. You tap the snooze button without looking, and then are baffled when the buzzing doesn’t stop. You actually open one eye to peek at the screen and see that Kris is calling you. Something must be wrong.

“Hello?” you answer groggily, clearing your throat.

“I am so sorry,” they say in greeting. “I am such an asshole for waking you up and I am such an asshole for what I’m about to ask you.”

You groan, already knowing what’s coming.

“Can you please - please please please please please - cover me at the store for like two hours later?” they beg. 

“I’m in class until 4:30,” you tell them. 

“That’s fine, I don’t need you until six.”

“You want me to close?” you yelp. “Kris!”

“I will owe you a hundred times over,” they say desperately. 

You roll onto your back and close your eyes again, the phone pressed to your ear. “Fine,” you grumble finally, because you love Kris, and because you need the money. 

You survive both your morning and afternoon classes, grabbing lunch with Taehyung in the caf between the two. After your afternoon class, you have a weird gap of time before Kris needs you at the store, so you head for the library and do a bit of work. When it’s nearly time, you pack up and head to the store. You’re nearly there when you feel your phone vibrate in your hand.

[5:51 PM] Namjoon: did you order dinner already? I’m leaving campus now

[5:51 PM] You: im covering kris at the bookstore until 8:30 :( 

You watch his three dots appear, then vanish. Appear, then vanish. Appear… hover… then vanish. 

[5:54 PM] Namjoon: want me to bring you something to eat?

You want to sink down onto the concrete path and melt into the ground. What is this absolutely boyfriend behavior, and why are the butterflies in your stomach having a rager over it?!

It’s like he knows you’ll be having a whole meltdown about it, because he follows up quickly.

[5:55 PM] Namjoon: it’s not a big deal i can grab something on campus for myself too and bring it over

[5:56 PM] You: i would really appreciate that :’) best roomie ever

[5:57 PM] You: that was NOT me roomie-zoning you!!! you can be best roomie ever AND ….whatever else lol

Sometimes you wonder who decided to let you ever leave your house. You deserve a trophy for being the most awkward human alive. 

You can’t dwell on it, though, because you’re at the store and you have to clock in and take over the register. There’s always a bit of a rush around the dinner hours - more students are in the student center for dinner anyway and stop in for what they need, or opt to get crappy snacks instead of real dinner. You don’t judge. 

It’s almost eight when you see Namjoon’s familiar shape in the door. He’s holding a bag of food and uses his shoulders to push the door open. 

“You brought me sustenance?” you ask hopefully. Your stomach is growling. 

“I did,” he tells you. He sets the bag on the counter and you dig into it immediately, pulling out the wrap he got for you. 

“You are a god amongst men,” you tell him reverently. He beams at you, standing still practically in the doorway of the store. He shifts over when the bell above the door chimes, and a pretty girl with dark hair steps through. You don’t think anything of it until you watch the smile literally drop off of his face.

“I thought that was you,” she says, her voice hushed like she’s in church, and her eyes are on his. You shove another bite of your wrap into your mouth and sink further behind the cashier’s counter, praying for invisibility. 

“Elyse,” he says, and you notice several that all of him has gone tight - his eyes, his shoulders, his fists, his voice. All of it becomes coiled, ready to spring. You resist the urge to say his name, even though it’s fighting its way out of your mouth, so strong is your urge to calm him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just passing,” she says, sounding a little wounded. “I thought I saw you in here, so I came in. What are you doing here?”

You wait for him to implicate you, to indicate that he’s here to bring you food, spend time with you on the sly. 

Instead, he says, “I lost my headphones again.”

A lie. 

A lie that leaves you out. 

The smile creeps over her face, fond and adoring. She shakes her head, hair swishing. “You’re such a mess, Namjoon.”

His eyes narrow, but he says nothing. The silence stretches between them, and finally he says, “What do you want, Elyse? You saw me and you came in why?”

Her eyebrows knit together; the hurt you’d heard in her voice shifts onto her face. “I just wanted to talk to you,” she says. “I’ve been trying to talk to you.”

He licks his lips, glances at you for the barest of seconds before facing her, arms crossing defensively over his chest.

“I’m aware,” he says dryly. “And I’ve been telling you no thanks. So, again… why are you here?”

Now the girl - Elyse, obviously - eyes you for the first time. You take another bite of your wrap, all innocence. For all she knows, you’re just the girl working the register at the school bookstore. She doesn’t know where you live… or what you’ve been doing with your roommate. 

“Can we… go somewhere?”

He looks at her flatly in response.

“To talk,” she says, like she needed to explain, like he doesn’t completely get it. 

“If you need to say something to me so badly,” he says, his voice scarily even, “you can do it right here.”

“I just…” she says, faltering, looking back at him, “I just wanted to know how you were, I guess. I’ve been… having a hard time, and I…” She glances at you again, like she’s embarrassed for this conversation to be witnessed - and honestly, you don’t blame her. “I guess I wondered if you were, too.” She looks at the floor, rubbing her arms self-consciously.

And here’s the thing… from an outside perspective, even though you’ve heard his side of this… you kind of believe her. Maybe he was right when he said she just needed to grow up a little. 

“I’m sorry you’re struggling,” he says, his voice softening. “You know I don’t want that for you.”

“I know,” she whispers, looking up at him through her lashes. 

Damn, you think. This girl is good. 

“Honestly, Elyse,” he continues, his voice still soft, gentle, “I’ve been doing fine. I’ve been okay. Just… just writing, you know?”

She smiles again, a tiny smile. You can’t believe your amazing luck to be able to innocently witness this transaction, but you also feel for him - to have this conversation in front of you has to be killing him. You can’t imagine trying to have a conversation like this with Taehyung with Namjoon listening. But you can’t leave - you’re glued to the register, your mouth still full of a chicken-avocado wrap. 

“Of course,” she says, smiling shyly up at him. “Always writing. But, Namjoon...” She heaves a sigh. You wish Kris was here to witness this with you, to help you dissect it later. “I guess… I wanted to talk to you because I’ve been… I’ve been thinking about us.”

Your eyes go wide and you look at Namjoon immediately for his reaction.

“There’s no ‘us’, Elyse,” he points out, so kindly, like he doesn’t want to hurt her and he knows he has to anyway. “You made sure of that.”

You almost gasp out loud, and you quickly stifle your reaction with another big bite of dinner. 

She has the presence of mind to look cowed. “I know that,” she admits. “I just… I guess I’m not sure how I feel about it now. About how we left things. And like… if that’s just me, I guess it’s my problem. But I needed to know… if it was just me.”

You’re chewing furiously, and then the damndest thing happens. Namjoon looks right at you.

You hold his gaze, and wish you could call time-out, pull him aside, confer with him before he answers. Say what you need to say, you’d tell him, because you get it. As complicated as shit is with you and Taehyung... of course you get it. 

You’re fully prepared for him to tell her that it’s not just her, or at least something kind of in the middle, like it’s complicated.

He surprises you.

“It’s just you,” he tells her, and he’s holding your gaze the whole time. Like he’s talking to you. “I’m not coming back, Elyse.”

The door opens behind her, and a group of girls come in, talking loudly to one another. It gives Elyse time to get her face right, you guess, because when you look back she’s managing to smile at him, though it’s clearly forced. 

“Okay,” she says. “Thanks for telling me. If your mind’s made up… then I guess there’s nothing else to say here?” She makes it a question.

“There never was,” he says, and though his words are cutting, his voice is still kind. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

She nods, licks her lips, eyes on the ground, and then she heads for the door. The group of girls come up to the register to pay, and you catch Namjoon’s gaze over their heads.

“I’ll see you at home,” he says, not a question, and you nod, scanning their items blindly. 

The rest of your shift crawls, uneventful and lonely, and when you finally clock out you’re dying to text Kris or literally anyone about the episode you just witnessed. 

After you lock up, you head outside of the student center. It’s dark, and freezing, and you hike your jacket up around your neck. 

A voice says your name and a hand reaches for your elbow. Every time Namjoon has startled you at the apartment and you’d jumped or dropped what you were holding pales in comparison to now; you shriek, so loud that some students further down the path turn around to check on you. 

“Jesus,” Namjoon huffs, laughing. “It’s just me.”

“Don’t grab people!” you scold, heart pounding against your ribs. “Holy shit.”

“Sorry,” he says, kind of an afterthought. “Are you going home now?”

As you come down from the adrenaline rush, things start to piece together in your head. “Were you… did you wait for me? It’s been almost an hour!”

“I know,” he says, rubbing a hand over his face. “I know. But I wanted to make sure I caught you.” 

You take a few steps in the direction of home and he follows. You start walking together this way, you leading for once. “Why?” you ask him, genuinely curious. 

He sighs, looks away from you as you cross campus together. “I wanted to tell you thank you.”

“For what?” you demand, flummoxed. 

He runs his hand down the back of his neck, still avoiding your gaze. 

Adorable, you think. 

“For being there. For all that with Elyse.”

“Firstly,” you point out, “I did literally nothing except popcorn-gif. Secondly, if you think that was dramatic, you haven’t watched enough dramas with me. That was tame. No one even cried.”

He laughs, once. “Chances are she’s crying now.” 

“What happens when the scene cuts away doesn’t count,” you tell him firmly. Then, a beat later you add, “You were admirably forth-coming with her.”

“Made me feel like shit,” he admits in a grumble. You reach out and pat his arm reassuringly. 

“I’m sure it did,” you tell him. “But this has to be better than stringing her along or something.”

He gives you a hum of agreement. “Well, anyway. Thank you.”

“Namjoon,” you say seriously, “I didn’t do anything.”

“Y/N,” he says, equally serious. “You have no idea how that would have gone if you hadn’t been there. You being there saved my ass from telling her we could talk again, if it made her happy. It stopped me from getting swept away in nostalgia, or her magic powers that make me stupid. You… grounded me.”

This knocks you into silence. It feels big, like he’s telling you a lot more than he’s actually saying. 

And, you get it. Because Namjoon makes you feel grounded, too. 

You aren’t sure what to say. You want to say thanks, because it feels like he’s given you a compliment. You want to say you’re sorry that he had to stare her down and tell her no, when - probably - at least one, little part of him wanted to say yes.

Instead, you just ask, “Are you okay?”

He shoots you a grateful look. “Yeah,” he says, “I am. Thanks.”

“Stop thanking me,” you tease, smiling, elbowing him lightly. 

He catches your wrist, tugging you closer as you walk. When you’re close enough, he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you tight through the last two city blocks.

Monday November 19th

You’ve walked to campus with Namjoon three Mondays in a row, so he waits for you this morning too, sipping his coffee at the breakfast bar patiently. As he watches the time pass, the time you normally leave together inching closer, he starts to get a little concerned. 

He tries texting you - you coming to campus today? - but you don’t answer. Finally, with about ten minutes to spare, he caves and knocks on your closed bedroom door. He hears your voice respond, muffled, but he doesn’t catch what you say.

He inches the door open, and is surprised to find that not only are you not ready to go, you’re still just a lump under your blankets.

“Y/N?” he ventures. “Are you sick?”

There’s some movement up by your head as you move the comforter enough to peer at him. “No,” you tell him, your voice a bit gravelly from sleep. “But I’m not going to campus today. You can go without me.”

“You’re not sick?” he repeats, just to clarify. There’s a little part of his brain that wonders if this is a menstruation thing, but wouldn’t he have noticed days like this in the months before now?

“No,” you repeat, and pull the blanket back up to cover your ears. 

He feels unsure, like maybe he shouldn’t just leave you here, at least without getting to the bottom of what’s going on. 

“Are you… okay?” he asks, the same question you’d asked him before the weekend, when Elyse had tried to fucking blindside him and drown him in guilt. 

“Mhm,” you say, and he waits for more, an explanation, a reassurance, anything. You give him nothing. 

“Okay,” he says finally, when he’s about five minutes late and he can’t stand it anymore. “I’m going to class. You’ll be alright here?”

You give another hum of an answer. He leaves your door open as he leaves, like it’ll help.

Concern and guilt eat at him all the way through his morning class; he can barely concentrate. He doesn’t really have time to go home between class and his TA hours, but when his professor dismisses him, he finds himself lifting his bag off the ground by his chair and heading in the direction of the apartment. 

The apartment is so quiet when he gets there that he feels a flash of relief - you’d gotten up and gone to class after all. But as he makes his way through the living room and peers into your room, it’s clear that you haven’t moved. 

What is going on? he wonders. 

“Y/N?” he says. There’s no movement, no indication that you heard him. He inches into your room, still unsure if you want him there, if he’s crossing boundaries, if he’s overstepping. “Hey, have you eaten or anything?”

Silence. He purses his lips. Words Elyse used to throw at him ring in his head - stop trying to fix it when I’m upset. I don’t want a solution, I want support. But as far as he knows, you haven’t moved all day. He goes into the kitchen and fills a glass with water and walks it back to your room determinedly. 

When he gets close enough to set the glass down on your nightstand, he can see that you're awake, laying on your side, your eyes on the wall, unblinking.

He sets it down, watching your face carefully, and backs away. He’s about to give up and head out to the living room when he hears you, quiet as a breath, whisper, “Thank you.” 

He pauses, turning back. “Can I…?” He falters, still so uncertain. “Can I stay with you?”

You don’t respond right away, the moment stretching heavy between you. Then, silent, you nod your head, just once. Something blooms in Namjoon’s chest, stretching and growing so that he feels his ribs must shift to make room for it. He circles around to the other side of the bed and gingerly sits, turning and stretching his long legs out, leaning back against your headboard. 

You don’t move, you don’t talk, so neither does he. He just stays, and waits, and watches the slant of sunlight through your blinds crawl inch by inch across your bedroom wall. After about an hour of this, he rises, needing to move to get his phone out of his pocket. He stands, trying to get some circulation back in his legs, as he dials the department head. 

“Hey,” he says, walking to your bedroom window and peering through the crack in the blinds. “I’m going to take a sick day today, okay? I didn’t have anyone scheduled… maybe Alec can take it if you need someone?”

He listens for a minute, then adds, “Yeah. Thanks, I appreciate you. Yeah, I should be fine for tomorrow. Okay. Sorry about that. Thanks again.”

When he turns back to you, you’ve actually rolled a little bit peering over your shoulder at him. “You didn’t have to do that,” you say. 

He regards you seriously. “I… think I did,” he admits. “I just don’t understand exactly why yet.”

You don’t answer, your tongue sneaking out to wet your lips. Then you reach over and flip the corner of your comforter down on the empty side of the bed, an invitation. 

He sits, as expected, sliding his legs under your blankets, and pulling the comforter up to his chest. He lays next to you for a few minutes, about six inches between your bodies. Then, emboldened, he scoots closer, rolls and wraps an arm around your middle, pulling you flush against his front. You stiffen for the barest of seconds, then melt back against him, letting out a deep breath. His hand rests against your stomach, and after a few minutes you shift to place your own hand against his, holding tight. Keeping him in place.

Namjoon might not know what’s going on with you today, he might not know the best thing to do to help you. But he knows he wants to do this - hold you close, wrap himself around you like a protective cocoon - until you tell him you don’t need it anymore. 

He thinks he drifts off for a little; he wakes, groggy, from a half-sleep, his nose buried in your hair against the pillow, his hand slack against the mattress, still touching yours. The tightness in your shoulders tells him that you’re awake, and the blue glow from outside the window tells him the sun has set behind the buildings across the street. 

He rolls a little and hugs you tight again, moving to press his face to the junction of your neck, gently. “I’m going to get up and make us something to eat,” he tells you.

“You can’t,” you tell him.

Puzzled, he asks, “Why can’t I?”

“Because I can’t save you from lighting the kitchen on fire,” you tell him seriously, and he’s so surprised that you’re joking right now that it startles a laugh out of him. 

“I’ll do a better job this time,” he promises. “I’ll start smaller. You good with ramen?”

You hum. “The spicy one. With an egg.”

He smiles against your neck, and you shiver when it tickles. “Your wish is my command,” he tells you, starting to rise. 

“Be careful,” you warn. “I’ll get used to this.”

“Nope,” he tells you, finally releasing your middle and scooting towards the edge of the bed. “Once you’re out of the bed, I go back to being normal.”

“Guess I’m never getting up, then,” you say wryly. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand - a call - and you ignore it. Namjoon leaves, making a point not to look at the screen. He knows who’s calling you, even without looking. 

In the kitchen, the water’s not yet boiling when there’s suddenly a pounding on the door. Eyeing his pot of water over his shoulder, Namjoon walks over to open it, only to find Taehyung standing there holding a bag of take-out. The relief he feels actually surprises him, but he realizes instantly that he probably should have reached out to Taehyung in the first place, to ask if he knew what the fuck was up with your sudden day of silence. 

“Thank god you’re here,” he blurts out, and watches as understanding crosses Taehyung’s face, followed by guilt.

“Ah,” Taehyung utters, upset. “I should have been here hours ago. Where is she? Has she eaten?”

Namjoon steps back to let him in. “She’s in bed,” he says. “She hasn’t moved all day - I was just heating up water for ramen for her.”

Taehyung sighs, sinking in on himself. “I’m glad you were here,” he says, so genuinely that it makes Namjoon feel sick with guilt, like he was taking part in a great deception. “I usually take care of her today. I fucked up. I didn’t realize what day it was until like half an hour ago.”

Namjoon nods at this, not sure what to say. Part of him wants to ask Taehyung for some answers; a bigger part of him would rather it come from you, when you’re ready. To give himself something to do, he moves into the kitchen to pour out half the water - he only needs to cook enough for himself, now. 

Taehyung makes his way into your room, the food bag clutched in his hands. He doesn’t close the door, and Namjoon tries not to eavesdrop from the kitchen, but he can’t help but hear Taehyung tell you, in a voice that’s absolutely sorrowful, “I’m so sorry. I’m a fucking terrible friend.”

He doesn’t hear you reply, but Taehyung says, “Yes I am. I left you alone today.”

This time, Namjoon hears your reply. “I wasn’t alone,” you tell Taehyung firmly. “Namjoon was here.”

“Good,” Taehyung says, his voice muffled, like maybe he’s hugging you in there. “Good.”

Tuesday November 20th

Namjoon awakens to the smell of bacon. Confused, he pulls a tshirt over his head, and blearily peeks his face out of his bedroom. You’re bustling around the kitchen - something he’s literally never seen before - cooking a full-course breakfast. 

“Y/N?” he ventures, and you whirl around, eyes wide, the spatula in your hand.

“Oh!” you say happily. “Come get some eggs!”

Namjoon doesn’t dare argue. He sits at the breakfast bar, still half asleep, trying to open his eyes all the way. You present him with a full mug of coffee, which he takes gratefully. Then, you load up a plate and slide it in front of him, and then you lean against the counter from the kitchen side, watching him intently.

“Yes?” he asks archly. 

You take a deep breath. “I’m sure you have questions about yesterday,” you say seriously.

He lowers his coffee cup. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” he says quickly. “Don’t feel like you owe me an explanation. I’m just… I’m glad I could be there for you. I don’t need anything else.”

You look away from him, blinking suspiciously hard. He waits you out. When you face him again, there’s something steely in your expression. 

“I have a hard time on the 19th,” you tell him. “Every year. It’s… an anniversary. For, um. For when I lost my parents.”

Namjoon’s appetite leaves him instantly. He feels himself lean forward, like he’s trying to get closer to you, like his body needs to wrap you up, just like he had yesterday. He murmurs your name, and you avoid his gaze again. 

“Anyway,” you say brusquely, “thank you for staying with me. And trying to feed me. Normally Taehyung does that.”

He wasn’t here this time, something ugly inside Namjoon thinks. 

Instead, he says, “You’re welcome. I’m glad I could… be there. I’m glad I was with you.”

Your gaze drops to the floor, then you seem to get it together and look up at him. “I am too,” you say, and the words sound heavy coming off your tongue. “So, really… thank you.”

Namjoon pauses. He wants to ask - he wants to know - but he’s afraid it’ll push you away. “Can I ask you something?” he ventures, finally. 

You look back at him, clearly nervous. “I guess,” you say, clearly uneasy.

He grimaces a little, unsure of the choices he’s made. “Yesterday… should I have called someone?” There’s a pause, where Namjoon decides to say what he actually means. “Should I have called Taehyung? Would that have been the right thing to do?”

He watches you soften, eyes widening as you realize what he’s been worrying about. You set down the dish towel that had been in your hands and come around the breakfast bar so you can look at him unobstructed.

“No,” you tell him seriously, eyes on his. “No, you did exactly what I needed.”

“Okay,” he says, reaching for his fork to try and eat some of the eggs you’d made for him. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“Namjoon,” you say seriously, and he looks back up at you, fork in hand. You shake your head, voice pleading with him to believe you. “There is not even a tiny part of me that wishes it was Taehyung with me yesterday instead of you. I promise. Okay?”

“Okay,” he says easily, taking a bite of egg. Does he believe you? He’s not sure. But he’s eager to move on; the topic’s uncomfortable. He knows he started it, but he really did want to know if he did the wrong thing. “Did you eat any, yet?”

You give him a little smile. “I was waiting for you,” you tell him. “I’ll make my plate now.”

You settle next to him, eggs and coffee cup both steaming, and you eat in silence. Namjoon can’t say what you’re thinking about, but his head is spinning. He’s thinking about how it had felt when you’d touched his hand in the bed yesterday, giving him the signal that you were okay with this, that you didn’t want him to move away. 

He’s thinking about how when he’d opened the door and found Taehyung standing on the other side, he’d felt like the person who was supposed to be with you had arrived to make it right. 

He’s thinking about how when Elyse sent his mind skittering towards old, bad habits, locking his eyes on yours had kept his feet firmly in the present. 

He’s thinking about your hips under his hands in that damn halloween costume, almost a month ago, and how he hasn’t come even close to kissing you since then.

<- Prev || Next ->

la di da di da :) what are we thinking?! how are we feeling?! pls consider some type of feedback!!!

thank you so much for readingggg, i'm so happy you're here!!!

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fic #namjoon x reader #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon x you #bts fic #Namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #kim namjoon fanfic #rm angst #rm smut #rm x reader #strangers to lovers #s2l #college au #roomie au #rm fic #fic: mffmhh #slow burn

[bonny-kookoo]

𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞

I've hit writer's block and I wanna overcome it somehow. Send in an emoji + a random sentence + a member and I'll write a small drabble about it! (you can send in 3 emoji's for one drabble maximum)

🐕 (Hybrid AU)

🖤 (Yandere AU)

🐉 (Fantasy AU)

🤖 (Android AU)

👽 (Alien AU)

☁ (Angst)

💗 (Fluff)

🔞 (Smut)

🥀 (Vampire AU)

🧸 (DDLG AU)

🧟‍♂️ (Zombie AU)

💎 (Mafia AU)

👑 (Royality AU)

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧:

🧸💎🐕 + “are you gonna come back?” + Yoongi

🧟‍♀️ + yoongi + "that's banana milk, My favorite."

🖤💗🧸+ Jungkook + "Aren't you supposed to hate me? I kinda kidnapped you"

👽+ jungkook+ "She's mine"

🤖+yoongi+”I think I love you”

💎 🐕 + Yoongi + "Could I sleep here for tonight, sir? It's raining outside."

🖤+Jimin + “is this not enough for you baby girl?”

🐕💗+taehyung+”can you just..hold me for a little bit”

💎💗☁️ + taehyung +"are you sure you're okay?"

🧸 + 💗 + 🐕 jungkook “you cant chew on that, doll”

🐕 + Yoongi + "here we go, the 3am zoomies..."

🐕 + 💎 + Jimin + "Is she better than me?

#Drabble game #bts imagine

[tetevsh]

. ་   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🧸 ࿐ ִ ۫ ⁎ . kim taehyung ❧ my beloved

took a bts core aesthetic quiz and here’s what i got ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

. ་   ˖ ࣪  ་ taecore . ་   ˖ ࣪  ་

╔ you’re like graffiti in the city, art pieces in cafes, gold lining on a page, coffee stains and libraries, gold star stickers, golden hours, greek art, finding beauty in small things, such as wildflowers or a stranger’s laugh, and comfort in the middle of the night. you’re very sociable and know how to make friends quickly & easily, even in just a span of a few minutes. you attract people very easily, and take artistic expression very seriously, such as painting, drawing, dance, music, or writing. you know how to take time for yourself, and also know how to make the people you feel matter the most know how much you appreciate them. you aren’t afraid to establish what you feel to the people you love, and are very caring ╗

#kim taehyung #taecore #bts vante #taehyung moodboard #taehyung #bangtan seonyandan

[goldenhickeysandramen]

🐻🧸 in Cannes

I think I'll have to change my profile here too to add "Taejennier follower" somewhere. On twitter and against certain risks, I've already done it: I've proclaimed "free love" for the two K-pop bears 🐻🧸

It's not for nothing that Winnie the Pooh is a reference for them.

It could also be the name of their ship Vinnie… hehehehehehe…

Sorry, but all this is so funny!

Kim taehyung… you and I are in the process of atonement…. I'm pretty sure that next time you drop names, I'll be laughing.

Because honestly…. not only you've been blowing away Taekookers these days… you're going to blow away Liskookers too…. hahahaha Who would have thought, the main ships involving JK, shipping each other!

You've got some nerve…. JK didn't take a picture with your girl in the CK event.

But he is more shy...

The cross over's are a bit funny, aren't they?

I'm going to be so sad to see Tae leaving Paris... He's in his element there, to be honest. And it's been so romantic to see he could be there walking hand in hand with his significant other?

By the way, talking about Jennie… she was very pretty today..

How can you not like these two?

[pjmparadise]

🌙✨☁️ welcome! i will update and add new member sections as i go along writing for them!

minors, please do not interact with my work or my blog

comments, reblogs/likes or reviews are sincerely appreciated ·͜· i will always respond to any feedback whether that be anonymous or not, so i ask you to be kind! i appreciate any and all support <3

feel free to send me any messages or asks about my stories, i'd love to talk about my work or characters!

i also ask that you please do not repost, translate or steal my work!

with that being said, thank you for being here and for supporting me! i hope you have a good time here ⨯ ✦ ⊹ ⁺

     ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆🧸⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

read my recently published work: here

networks: @thebtswritersclub

park jimin

ᨓᨓ ✦ one-shots | drabble

╰───► saw you in a dream - 4.8k jimin x reader ft jungkook & taehyung | fluff, angst, established relationships, mature language, brief mentions of sex/intimacy, infedelity, sad jimin (forgive me!)

╰───► tonight - 6.5k jimin x reader ft jungkook (taehyung is mentioned) | fluff, angst, slight nsfw, kissing, strangers to lovers, idol!jimin au, idol!jungkook friend au

╰───► a comforting friend - 600 jimin x reader | fluff, slight angst, friend!jimin au, pining

╰───► one of those moods - 798 | jimin x taehyung | fluff, slight angst, idol! au, established friendship 

jeon jungkook

ᨓᨓ ✦ one-shots | drabble

╰───► ........... nothing yet!

ᨓᨓ ✦ chapter-long fics

╰───► 3:23 a.m. (don’t go, stay) pt1 - 12.1k | fluff, angst, slight nsfw, comic book artist/pre-debut jk au, strangers to lovers, check post for more tags.

#bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #pjmparadise #it's a work in progress!! bare with me!!

[chateautae]

I MISSED MID SO BAD!!! and i LOVED the drabble so much!!! shoutout to tae for making sure wifey is satisfied even through the phone 🥵and tae’s “sex only once a week rule” must’ve taken so much strength, what was oc’s reaction to it when tae first came up with it?

-teddy anon 🧸

AHH TEDDY ANON IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED BUBS!! yes yes yes my man better give me dat good phone sex when he's away from me too, AND DMWPODMOWI wifey oc was not happy at all... she acc protested for a day but eventually gave in when taehyung kept smothering her with kisses and cuddles because he argued sex once a week doesn't rule out other things 🤪 them crazy rabbits man

#im surprised they don't have a second baby literally months after the first is born 😭 #feedback: maybe i do #anon #sammy's inbox

[aestheticbangtansworld]

– kim taehyung; my vintage soul who often acts like a mischievous child, but if you look into his eyes carefully you will see his fragile soul behind the mask, his beauty and sadness, innocence and deepness that makes him unique, his voice quality is rare that calms my mind and gives me goosebumbs everytime i hear him. if you’re lucky enough to know his value, his senses and his heart you can easily find pieces of his soul in his creation.

in french you don’t say “i miss you” you say “tu me manques” which means you’re missing from me, i love that!

TU ME MANQUES!! 🕰

he is more myself than i am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are same!

KIM TAEHYUNG thank you for being you, i know you inspire not just me but millions of people around the globe. 🧸

I LOVE YOU more than yesterday but less than tomorrow <33

pornikaaaa!! 💜

WROTE SOMETHING FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

#bts #taehyung

[onlyjaeyun]

the way i gasped when i saw taehyung’s name like he was my first kpop love🥹💖 lol anyway i’m so glad ur back home & safe from ur trip!! i’ve been a quiet reader/follower of urs but kind of want to communicate a bit more w/ u since u have become my fave writer on this app! i found poison when u were 25 chapters in and have been a dedicated reader ever since!! (and obvs read hype boy too while i was waiting for poison updates😌)

just wanted to drop a message and say that i appreciate ur & ur writing so much. they’re the best addition to my day🧸🤍

TAEHYUNG GIRLIES UNITE 🤭🤭🤭🤭 thank you so much for your sweet words baby, am sending you the fattest kiss rn 🥺 i love you so much

#; mailbox 📬 #; strictly business

[bts-trans]

220122 Weverse Translations

V's Comment 💬 on ARMY's Post ❇️

💜: 태형아 보러 갔어? 추천이야? ☺️

V: 추천이요😊 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682265562227968)

💜: Taehyung-ah did you go watch it? Do you recommend it? ☺️

V: I recommend it😊

Trans cr; Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

RM's Comments 💬 on ARMY's Posts ❇️

💜: 어제 태형이 알람받았던 아미들 모습 It's like, we got an alarm from Taehyung yesterday (cos tae deleted his feed now) RM: 와 왜이리 어리나요 RM: 2022년 이제야 제나이를 찾은 나의얼굴 RM: 미안하다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290499383734)

💜: How the ARMYs who got a notification from Taehyungie yesterday looked It's like, we got an alarm from Taehyung yesterday (cos tae deleted his feed now)

RM: Why are we so young RM: I feel like it's only now in 2022 that my face has caught up to my age RM: I'm sorry

💜: 여러분, 추천할 영화가 있나요?🥺🥺🥺🧸 RM: 돈룩업 재밌어요 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290554669150)

💜: Everyone, do you have a movie to recommend?🥺🥺🥺🧸

RM: Don't Look Up is interesting

💜: 오랜만이네요! RM: 랜만~~~ (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290586120014)

💜: Long time no see!

RM: Long time~~~

💜: 남준아 남준아 진ㄴ짜 약간 페이크 러브나 블랙 스완처럼 그런 곡 한번만 써주면 안될까ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ RM: 오우 RM: 안의 흑염룡을 꺼내야할 시간인가 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290596181760)

💜: Namjoon-ah Namjoon-ah pleaaase could you write a song that's a little like Fake Love or Black Swanㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

RM: Oh.. RM: Is it time to bring out the black flare dragon within me?

💜: 남준쒜 요즘 몇시에 자요? RM: 저 세네시?ㅜ (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290613728549)

💜: Namjoon-sswi what time do you go to sleep these days?

RM: Around 3 or 4?ㅜ

💜: 오빠 붕어빵 좋아해서 붕경 만든거져 RM: 넹 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290620832365)

💜: Oppa you made Boonggyeong* because you like boongeo-bbang* right?

RM: Yeppp

(T/N: *The name RM gave to the windchime he designed. RM designed it to look  ’boongeo-bbang’, a carp fish-shaped sweet pastry usually filled with red bean or custard, and incorporated the word 'boong' its name.)

💜: 남주나 이기자 거꾸로 말 해조... RM:  지자 ! (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290625456956)

💜: Namjoon-ah please say the word 'igija' in reverse

RM: Let's lose !

(T/N: OP was trying to get RM to say the word 'jagi', a term of endearment similar to 'honey' or 'dear'. However, the word '이기자/igija' also means 'let's win' and RM jokingly sidestepped OP's intention by using the opposite meaning of the word instead just saying the word in reverse.)

💜: 오빠가 내가 그린 그림을 봐 주는 날은 옵니까…??? RM: 😀 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290645421711)

💜: Will the day ever come where oppa sees my drawing...???

RM: 😀

💜: 내일 면허시험이 있어서 긴장되서 잠을 못잔다😞😞 RM: 아 내가 다 긴장. RM: 난 언제쯤.. 😪 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290645332593)

💜: I can't sleep because I'm so nervous about my driving test tomorrow😞😞

RM: Ah I'm nervous about everything RM: My day will come.. 😪

Trans cr; Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

💜: 나는 그를 매우 사랑한다…… RM: wow (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290680105727)

💜: I love him very much……

RM: wow

💜: 보여 거꾸로 하면? RM: 안보여 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290706205039)

💜: What's 'boyeo' in reverse?

RM: I can't see

(T/N: OP was trying to get RM to say the word 'yeobo', a term of endearment similar to 'honey' or 'dear'. However, the word '보여/boyeo' also means 'can see/able to be seen' and RM jokingly sidestepped OP's intention by using the opposite meaning of the word instead of just saying the word in reverse.)

💜: 붕어주인이 대량발주 넣어주실 생각 없습니까! RM: 어우.. RM: 말씀드려볼게여 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290705804163)

💜: How about doing a bulk order, carp owner?

RM: Oh.. RM: Let me try talking to them about that.

Trans cr; Mary @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

💜: 남준아 그 때는 그 때의 매력 지금은 지금의 매력 앞으로도 그 때의 매력 오래오래 늘 매력 넘���거야 그러니까 RM: 오래오래 해먹어요.. (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290730999700)

💜: Namjoon-ah, you were charming back then You're charming right now You'll be charming in the future You'll be overflowing with charm for a long long time So, that's why I'm saying

Picture Translation: Let's do this for a long long time

RM: Let's do this for a long long time..

💜: 남준아 헉시 중이병이 .. RM: 내안의 붉은눈의 흑룡을 꺼낼시간.. (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290739673798)

💜: Namjoon-ah by any chance are you suffering from 8th grade syndrome*?

RM: Time for me to bring out the red-eyed black flare dragon within me..

(T/N: *A phrase used in Korea to refer to how teenagers tend to start getting rebellious and talking back when they enter 8th grade.)

💜: 제가 잘하는게 없는데 문제는 성실하지가 않고 끈기가 없어서 뭘하던 그냥 포기하는데 어떻게 하죠.. 저 진짜 너무 힘들어요.. RM: 저도 그래요 RM: ㄹㅇ 저도 그럼 RM: 작업해야하는데 맨날맨ㄴ날맼날 일어나서 자기전에 밥먹으몈서 자전거타면서도 생각 RM: 실행은 한 10번중 1번뿐 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290739426654)

💜: I don't have anything I'm good at but the problem is I'm not diligent and I don't have perseverance, so whatever I do I end up just giving up What do I do.. I'm really having such a hard time

RM: It's the same for me RM: Fr I'm the same RM: All all all allll the time, when I wake up, before sleep, while I'm eating, while I'm riding my bike, I keep thinking "I should be working" RM: Things only get put into action 1 out of 10 times

💜: 남주나 나두 오늘 나와바리에서 만 오천보나 걸었다..거긴 넘 할것도 많고 볼것도 많아... RM: 아이러브종로 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290792189692)

💜: Namjoon-ah I also walked about 5 thousand steps around your turf today..There's so much to do and see there...

RM: I love Jongno*

(T/N: *A neighborhood in Seoul. Many of the palaces and historical landmarks are located there.)

💜: 오빠 이때 교토 사진 어딨어요?또 교토 와주실래요? RM: 흑흑 가고싶어요 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290810852239)

💜: Oppa where was this picture from Kyoto taken? Will you come back to Kyoto again?

RM: Sobs I want to go

💜: ㅡ ㅡ 오빠 아직 애기얼굴이에요 ... RM: ㄴ..네..... (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290810517104)

💜: ㅡ ㅡ Oppa you still have a baby face ...

RM: O..okay.....

💜: 냄준쓰 오PPa!!!!! 학생 아미에게 한 마디 해주자며언??! RM: 고맙습니다 RM: 당신이 우리의 미래 ㅜ (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290836903530)

💜: Namjoons oPPa!!!!! Do you have anything you'd like to say to student ARMYs??!

RM: Thank you RM: You are our future ㅜ

💜: 남준아 나 너에 대한 마음 접을게. 하트 모양으로 RM: 접자..접어 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290859590528)

💜: Namjoon-ah when it comes to my feelings for you, I'll fold* them into a heart

RM: Fold it..fold

(T/N: *The phrase 'to fold' in Korean can also mean 'to give up'.)

💜: 남주나...토닥 한 번만... 세상이 더럽다... RM: 더러운 세상 RM: 퉤퉤 하고 잊읍시다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290872473762)

💜: Namjoon-ah...Will you give me a comforting pat... The world is ugly...

RM: Ugly world RM: Spit it out and forget about it

💜: 남궁냄준쓰 저 오늘 매운 거 먹고 속 아파요 RM: 알면서도 먹게되는 RM: 그것은 마치.. RM: 쏘 seductive.. (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290884513946)

💜: Namgoongnamjoons I ate something spicy today and now my insides aren't feeling well

RM: When you already know but you still end up eating it RM: That's just.. RM: so seductive..

Trans cr; Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

💜: 저는 지난 일주일 동안 탈색 1회 헤어컬러 3회 했습니다... 두피가 너무 아파요. 아이돌분의 두피를 경험하고 있습니다... 여러분 두피를 소중히 여겨 주세요🥺 RM: 어머니 아버지 감사합니다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290922621107)

💜: In the past week, I bleached my hair once and coloured it 3 times... My scalp hurts so much. I'm experiencing what it's like to have an idol's scalp... Please treat your scalps with care everyone🥺

RM: Thank you mom and dad.

💜: 김남준 필독 RM: 뭐여 쟤 왜이리커짐?? (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290936051527)

💜: Must-read for Kim Namjoon

Picture translation: I have something I want to say (must-read) 

I love you

RM: What the heck why is it so big??

💜: 남준 오빠 자꾸만 포기한다고 다짐하면서도 기대하게 될 때는 어떻게 하면 좋을까요..? RM: 그때는 행동해야죠 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290951662920)

💜: Namjoon oppa, what should I do when I've made up my mind to give up but I still end up expecting things..?

RM: Then you have to act.

💜: 이제 슬슬、、、 정말、、 만나고 싶습니다、、😭😭😭😭😭 RM: 🥲 말해 뭐하겠습니까 RM: 죽겠습니다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682290964464822)

💜: I'm now getting to the point where, , , I really, , want to see you,, 😭😭😭😭😭

RM: You don't even have to say it RM: I'm dying

💜: 남주나.... 손병호 게임하다가 김남준 좋아하는 사람 접어 했더니 지구가 반으로 접혀버렸지 모야.... RM: 접자.. 접어 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291000912389)

💜: Namjoon-ah, we were playing the Son Bhyeong-ho* game and I said 'Fold if you like Kim Namjoon' and

The earth just folded in half....

RM: Let's fold..fold it

(T/N: *A game where participants hold up five fingers and fold one if something said applies to them, similar in concept to 'Never have I ever'.)

💜: 오늘도 단련했어요?근육질 얼마나 됐나요? RM: 어.. 한번 봐볼게요 RM: (말랑) (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291000145250)

💜: Did you work out today as well? How big have your muscles gotten?

RM: Uh..let's check RM: (soft)

💜: 준아 운동해야 되는데 귀찮아 RM: 운동은 하고싶어서 하능게 아님 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291058690898)

💜: Joon-ah I have to work out but I can't be bothered

RM: Working out isn't sth u do because u like it.

💜: 머리 기를까요?저는 RM의 짧은 머리가 좋아요 RM: 저 기르는중 RM: ㅈㅅㅈㅅ ㅜ (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291073437921)

💜: Should I let my hair grow? I like RM's short hair.

RM: I'm growing it out. RM: Sry sry

💜: 저는 일본인입니다. 한국어를 공부 중이고 번역 기능에 의존하고 있기 때문에 실수가 있으면 사과드립니다. 김남준의 어떤 곳을 좋아하는지 말로 해보면, 그가 항상 경계선, 틈, 파도, 흰색과 검정, 명확하지 않다/명확하게 할 수 없는, 양극단적인 'あいだ'에 있는 것 을 자각하고, 그 상태에 저항하면서도 계속 유지하고 있는 곳입니다. 변화하지 않기 때문에 계속 변화한다는 것을 밝히는 아이돌을 만난 것은 인생에서의 첫 경험이었습니다. 아이돌 김남준도 인간이라고 느꼈고, 그렇게 느꼈을 때는 이미 좋아하게 되었습니다. 갈등이 있는 사람, 무언가와 계속 싸우면서, 그래도 그 순간을 계속 사랑하는 사람. 사랑의 사람. 성선설을 믿지 않지만 인간은 변화하고 선량으로 계속 존재하고 그것을 믿어 인간을 포기하지 않는 다른 사람에게 기대할 수 있는 사람. 남준은 틀리면 사람을 믿지 않아도 사랑하지 않아도 살 정도의 능력을 가지고 있는데 적어도 나에게는 그렇게 느끼는데 그렇게 하지 않는 사람. 득이 있는지 여부에 관계없이 리더로 살아있는 사람. 그런 당신을, 김남준을 사랑합니다. RM: 🥰 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291073299606)

💜: Thoughtful post by a Japanese ARMY about the kind of unique person RM is.

RM: 🥰

💜: 남준이 오빠 앨범 스포는…??? ㅋㅋ RM: 나도 다 얘기해주고 싶당 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291114449587)

💜: Namjoon oppa, any album spoilers...???haha

RM: I wanna tell you all about it toooo

💜: 저 요즘에 제 주변 사람들의 기대에 부응을 못하는 것 같아서 항상 실패한 인생 같다고 느껴지는데 어떻게 극복할 수 있을까요...?ㅠㅠ RM: 기대란 끝이 없더이다 RM: 인생은 속도가 아니라 방향이랬습니다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291128014754)

💜: These days, I feel like I can't live up to the expectations of the people around me and so it constantly feels like I've failed at life. How do I overcome this...?ㅠㅠ

RM: There's no end to people's expectations. RM: They say that life isn't about speed, it's about direction.

💜: 인생은 노답이야ㅠ RM: no doubt (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291164075232)

💜: Life's stupid*ㅠ

RM: no doubt

(T/N: *Sounds similar to 'no doubt' in English.)

💜: 남주나...ㅜㅜ 살 빼려는데 조언 좀....ㅜ 설때 살 쪗다고 할머니한테 쓴 소리 듣기 싫단 말시...ㅋ쿠ㅜ RM: 아우 할매요 RM: 자꾸 홍시고 한과고 주시믄서 살 빼라시믄 우짭니꺼 RM: 하나만 하이소 할매요!!!! (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291224383848)

💜: Namjoon-ah...ㅜㅜI'm trying to lose weight, some advice please....ㅜ I don't wanna hear my grandma be mean about how I've gained weight at Seollal*...hahaㅜㅜ

Picture translation: Who does as much as Bangtan

RM: Grandma, come on RM: You keep giving me persimmons and Hangwa** and then ask me to lose weight, how am I supposed to deal with that RM: Choose one, grandma!!!!***

(T/N: *Korean Lunar New year. **Traditional Korean sweets. ***RM said all of this in Gyeongsang-do satoori, making it sound whiny but playful and sweet.)

💜: RM, 과거로 돌아갈 수 있는 기회가 주어진다면 무엇이든 바꾸시겠습니까? RM: i would not (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291273921562)

💜: RM, if you had the chance to go back in time, what would you change?

RM: i would not

💜: 준아 나퇴사할구야! RM: 응원합니다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291307769809)

💜: Joon-ah, I'm gonna quit my job!

RM: I'm cheering you on

💜: 아니 오빠 진짜 왜 그래요 자기이 한번 해주는게 정말 어려워요..? RM: 😚😋 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291372316361)

💜: Oppa come on, honestly, why are you being this way, is it really that hard to say 'honey' for us once*..?

RM: 😚😋

(T/N: *Reference to earlier comments asking him to say 'honey' or 'dear'.)

💜: 남준이 오빠! 오빠는 힘들때 어떻게 이겨냈고 포기하고 싶을땐 어떻게 이겨냈어요? RM: 어차피 태어남이라는건 고통인 것 같아여 RM: 다만 누군가는 그 고통을 극복하고 환희로 바꾸기도 하고 RM: 고통이라는걸 인정하고 수용하고 각자의 방향으로 보여주고 그런��� 아닐까여 음악도 미술도 모두 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291413248416)

💜: Namjoonie oppa! When you've been through hard times, how did you deal with it, and how did you deal with it when you felt like giving up?

RM: I think that to be born is to suffer. RM: Nevertheless, some do overcome that suffering and turn it into joy RM: I think it's just about acknowledging the suffering and accepting it and showing it in your own way, that's what music and art and everything is

💜: 준아 미움받을땐 내가 어떤 마음 가짐으로 살아가야할까 RM: 저도 늘 생각합니다만 RM: 결국 누군가는 절 미워할수밖에 RM: 저는 저대로 잘 가면 됩니다 (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291508648843)

💜: Joon-ah, what kind of mindset should I live with when I get hate?

RM: I always think about it too but RM: In the end, there's always going to be someone who hates me RM: I just need to keep going in my own way.

Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

💜: 남준아~ 나 요즘 출근할때 듣는 드라이브송은 "지나가"야~ 남준이는 뭐야? RM: 흠.. less than zero? (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291560697717)

💜: Namjoon-ah These days my work commute drive song has been "everythinggoes"~ What's yours?

RM: Hm.. less than zero*?

(T/N: *A song by The Weeknd.)

💜: 준아 배달음식 끊는 법 아니..? RM: 아니.. (https://www.weverse.io/bts/feed/1682291577924591)

💜: Joon-ah do you know* how to stop ordering delivery..?

RM: No..*

(T/N: 'Do you know' and 'no’ sound the same in Korean.)

Trans cr; Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

#220122 #v #taehyung #rm #namjoon #weverse #comment #namjoon being both a playful tease and super deep #very on brand #pls note that three (3) translators worked on this #comment machine kim namjoon #bts #bangtan

[7seok]

──── taehyung layouts! ♡

🖇🧸• taehyung, how does it feel being the LOML? You're special to me & I haven't met you , Crazy right?

, please be happy my love 🖇🧸•

#bts #bts icons #btsedit #bts namjoon #bts jin #bts jhope #edit #bts jungkook #jungkook #jimin #bts taehyung #taehyung #taehyung layouts #taehyung icons

[daechwitatamic]

VI. Don't Think About Him || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

You try - and fail - to figure out who and what you want.

Section Warnings: excessive drinking, bar scenes, language, kissing, groping, maybe grinding idk

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday October 28th

Fire burns low in the hearth, but my feet itch and beg to go, into the night where the wolfpack hunts, into the storm of wind and snow.

I can hear only their hunting song. The blizzard steals from me my sight. I have no map to traverse this land, But I peer wistfully into the night.

The wolves, the storm, the wild land, Even still I must decide. I know despite the dangers, I can’t afford to stay inside.

“That’s fucking terrible,” you mutter, closing your book and scooting it away from you in disgust. “Wolves? Am I fourteen? For fuck’s sake.”

Still, it does touch on how you feel: like proceeding forward will result in you getting ripped to metaphorical shreds - but staying here, stuck in the familiar just because you’ve deemed it safe, would somehow be worse.

“Talking to yourself?” someone asks, and you jump with a shriek. 

“Namjoon!” you scold, as you register that it’s him in the doorway. “I thought you weren’t home for a few more hours!”

He crosses the room and tosses his bag onto his bed. “Yoongi has a lead foot.”

“How was it?” you ask mildly.

Namjoon wiggles his head, indicating both good and bad. “The brewery was really fun,” he says. “And it was nice for us all to hang out and talk at the house. We all used to dorm together… it’s been weird not living in the same place as them. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

This makes you smile. You’d been to that dorm once or twice, but you’d refused to hang out with Taehyung there because… well, dudes are stinky. And you’re not a clean freak by any means, but it was a little gross over there. 

“Well it was lonely and boring here,” you report. “I’m glad you’re back.” 

You’re instantly unsure if that was too forward, too much. Namjoon going away the literal day after you’d kissed him had given you plenty of time to think in private, but it had also given you room to sow doubts in your own mind. But Namjoon smiles shyly, pleased, so cute it makes your toes wiggle.

“I’m glad to be back too,” he says. “I’m gonna go shower and unpack. Have you made plans for dinner yet? We could order later?”

You hadn’t, but you have a feeling Taehyung will want to hang out after two days away. “I have plans,” you lie, figuring it will end up being true. 

“Ah, no problem then,” Namjoon says easily, and heads into his room, closing the door behind him with a little wave. 

You text Taehyung - “welcome home!! dinner later?” - and get up to start some laundry. By the time it’s done washing, and drying, and you’ve folded it, he still hasn’t answered. 

You try again - “hello??? this is y/n, looking for signs of life???”

This time, the response is almost immediate. 

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

In the end, you walk to campus alone, eating by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria. You’ve splurged on ordering too much lately when these meals are built into your tuition. Besides, you don’t want Namjoon to know that your “plans” fell through. 

Friday November 2nd

Angel on the right… Devil on the left… 

You look side to side, conflicted. Such a strong case for each. 

“Are those for tonight?”

You jump, spinning away from the two Halloween costumes you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s not like Namjoon to come over to your side of the apartment; in fact, you’re not sure he’s ever talked to you while you’re in your own room. It’s usually you going over to his door to bother him, if you aren't both in the living room or kitchen. 

“Yeah,” you say. “I can’t decide. You’re coming?”

“I think we all are, except Yoongi,” Namjoon tells you. “I’m going as a detective. I have a magnifying glass and everything.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to see that. Any thoughts on which way I should go tonight?” You mean the costumes. You’d texted Taehyung for his opinion and he’d returned with, “flip a coin”. You’re not sure why you expected anything else from him. 

“I think that’s going to depend on your mood,” Namjoon teases. “How are we feeling today? Naughty or nice?”

You raise your eyebrows. Was that… outright flirtation? “What if I’m feeling both?” you ask.

He laughs. “You need one of those half-and-half costumes. I’ve seen them in the stores.”

You have too, but you think they’re cheesy. “I think I’ll go devil,” you muse, a finger on your lips as you consider. “The angel wings are pretty cumbersome. And the bars are going to be slammed.”

“Naughty it is.” Namjoon flashes you a grin and disappears from your doorway, throwing over his shoulder, “No complaints from me!”

You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the giggle. Well this is new, and damn, you want to keep playing. 

You Uber together to the first bar of the town’s Halloween pub crawl, the guys waiting for you outside. Taehyung howls in laughter at Namjoon’s long coat, fedora, and magnifying glass. 

“I see the devil won the coin toss,” he says to you, grinning.

You roll your eyes, still a little peeved that he couldn’t take anything seriously, even when you needed him to. This was a trivial thing, but still. It wasn’t a lot to ask.

Jungkook hands you and Namjoon a flyer with a QR code - it listed the locations of each bar and what time the group would move, in case you got lost or missed the exodus. Inside, you have to pay to get wristbanded, but the wristband earns you special prices at each of the stops. 

“This does not go with my costume,” you pretend to pout, the bright yellow wristband glaring against your short, red dress.

“I think everyone will understand,” Namjoon teases. Taehyung appears on your other side, pointing out the little laminated sign that advertises this bar’s drink specials. 

“You two need to catch up,” he insists.

Three hours and two bars later, you think you’ve achieved this. You and Taehyung cling to each other’s arms, holding each other up, somehow taking turns being the one who needs help staying upright. The first two bars had offered specials on shots, but this one only has special offers for mixed drinks and beer. 

“Do we pay full price for shots, or do we let The Man tell us it’s time to settle down?” you muse loudly into Taehyung’s ear.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he tells you. “This is Halloween, not a hippie convention.”

“I see at least four hippies,” you sniff indignantly.

“I think you’re seeing double,” he counters. “No more shots for you.”

“You aren’t in charge of me!” you yell, and head for the bar at a clip, ankles crying for mercy in your heels. You grasp the bar in both hands when you get there, steady yourself, and then reach up to fix your horn headband, which had been starting to slide. You thought Taehyung was right behind you, but when you turn to look, he’s talking to a girl in a mermaid costume. 

Of course.

It’s fine.

The bartender finally catches your eye and you flash your wristband, indicating you’ll take the special. He nods, turns and picks up a bottle. A body settles beside you; you turn, expecting that Taehyung caught up, or maybe Jungkook stopped by for a beer. Instead, a guy you’ve never seen before smiles at you. 

He’s in scrubs, complete with a fake stethoscope (you think it’s fake, anyway) slung around his neck. His nametag reads Dr. Love. You laugh out loud. “That’s so corny,” you say, your filter well and gone for the night.

Luckily, he laughs too. “It’s sewed on!” he protests. “I honestly almost Sharpied it out, but I thought that would look even stupider.” 

He’s really cute, you notice. He looks… clean. Older. 

“You look…” he trails off, letting his eyes roam to your feet and back appreciatively, “phenomenal. Is there an angel wandering around here looking for you?”

You grin. “Just me.”

If Kim Taehyung can find a hookup everywhere he goes, why can’t you?

But as you lean against the bar and take a sip of your drink, your eyes scan the bar before you. In the mirrored wall behind the team of bartenders, you can see a slightly distorted view of the patrons and all of their costumes. 

Your eye catches on a detective. 

Namjoon’s eyes hold yours through the mirror, though he’s about six seats down from you. There’s a tiny smile on his lips as he sips at what looks like a beer. A smile that says maybe he should have expected this. It’s the same face he’s seen on you when Taehyung does exactly what he did tonight. 

Beside you, Dr. Love is asking you something, but you don’t hear him at all. You don’t want to be here, in this spot, anymore. You want to be six seats over.

“I’m sorry,” you say, interrupting him, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on your face. “I just found one of my friends, and I’d lost them. Enjoy your night, though!”

You slip away before he can protest more than a syllable, before you can really register the disappointment on his face and feel guilty about it. Better luck next time, Doctor, you think, as you make your way to Namjoon.

As soon as you’re close enough he extends an arm, making a space for you right next to him. His arm tucks you closer, protective. He walks with you towards the far end of the bar, where it’s marginally less crowded. Once you settle into a spot there, he doesn’t remove his arm. His fingers rest on your bare, body-glittered shoulder, moving imperceptibly now and then, as if they have their own agenda. 

“Are you having fun?” you ask him. 

“Loud bars aren’t usually my thing,” he answers. “But the costumes are great.”

There’s a lot of alcohol in your system; your filter’s taken a hit. “I like this,” you sigh happily, closing your eyes for a second. You think you sway on your feet a little. The arm around your shoulders tightens.

“Like what?” His voice has gone deep, and you shiver a little. You want to kiss him again; you’d blame the shots but you’ve been thinking about it since it happened. The drinks just make it louder.

“Your arm around me,” you tell him honestly, and he ducks his head, dimples appearing along with a blush.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “You’re drunk,” he accuses playfully.

“It’s a Halloween pub crawl,” you point out flatly. “I’m supposed to be drunk.”

“That’s a fair point,” he allows. Then, he peers at you through squinted eyes. “Are you okay, though? How drunk are you?”

You consider this. “Drunk enough that I want to kiss you again, to hell with the consequences. Not too drunk to remember that there would be consequences.”

The playfulness leaves his face; it’s too obvious not to notice. “Consequences like what?”

It’s a challenge. He knows you know it.

“Namjoon,” you say, a little pleading. Don’t. 

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

You feel like you want to cry. “Are you mad? About Taehyung?”

He softens. His fingers brush your shoulder again, absently. “No,” he admits, deflated. “No, I guess I’m not. But we both know that’s what you meant.” He removes his arm from your shoulders. It hangs listlessly at his side. You feel its absence painfully, like it had kept you tethered and now you might float away.

“Hey,” you say sharply, and reach for his hand. You miss and get his wrist, but you hold it like your life depends on it. He looks at you curiously. “I like you,” you tell him firmly. “A lot. I’m trying not to mess everything up - with anyone. But he’s my family, and if I lose him…” You take a deep gulp of air, trying to will your pulse to calm, your stomach to settle, your eyes to clear of stupid tears. “I have no one left. It feels… delicate,” you finish finally. You need him to understand. You wish you were better at explaining.

Namjoon twists his wrist from your grasp gently, but takes your fingers in his. “What about me?” he asks, voice a little pouty. “We aren’t delicate?”

You smile at him, relief giving you more of a high than anything else could right now. “No,” you say, and touch his chest lightly, just over his beating heart. You brush your hand down his chest, drop it to your side, and turn to stare out at the crowd. “No,” you say again, finishing the thought. “You aren’t delicate at all. You’re steady. That’s something I really like about you.”

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, tension building like a bassline, and then he gives a tug to the hand he’s holding. You turn back to look at him.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asks plaintively. 

You open your mouth immediately to answer, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t think about him when you answer that,” he commands seriously, fingers clutching yours so tightly it almost hurts. “Don’t think about anything else but you and me. What do you want?”

What do you want?

“I…” you start feebly, unsure how you’ll even finish the sentence. “I want…”

Jimin rushes up to you, breathless, grabbing both of your arms. Namjoon drops your hand like it’s burned him. If Jimin notices, he doesn’t let on. 

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

“Where are they?” Namjoon asks, quickly setting his beer glass on the bar and reaching for your drink too. You let him take it, eyes wide. 

“Taehyung grabbed Jungkook and ran - I think they’re outside. Have you seen Hobi? Or Jin?”

“Jin left with a girl two bars ago,” you supply, glad to be able to help. 

“I see Hobi,” Namjoon says, craning his neck to scan the crowd. “I’ll go get him. Y/N, go with Jimin, we’ll meet up outside.”

He moves without waiting for an answer, wading through the crowd in what must be Hobi’s direction. Jimin takes you by the hand - it feels much different than it had felt a minute ago with Namjoon - and leads you through the crowd hurriedly, dodging people left and right. You look over your shoulder as he pulls you, trying to find Namjoon in the sea of people, but you can’t.

Outside, Jungkook seems to be arguing heatedly with the bouncer. 

“Come on,” Taehyung is telling him, looking honestly pissed. “Let’s just go. The night’s already ruined, let’s just leave.”

You pull away from Jimin and head for Taehyung. 

“Hey,” you say softly, resting a hand on his arm. He turns on you, still furious, but you don’t waver. “Take a breath,” you tell him softly. 

His temper gets the best of him sometimes. 

He shakes his head, angry, but you see his chest move as he obeys anyway. A second later he says, more calmly, “Come on, Jungkook, we can even go somewhere else if you want. We won’t have fun here, that guy’s friends are all worked up in there.”

Jungkook relents as Hobi and Namjoon join you on the sidewalk. You slide your hand off of Taehyung’s arm, feeling weirdly guilty. 

“We rallying?” Hobi asks hopefully. “Or did we kill the buzz?”

“Rally!” Jimin cheers, going over and shaking a sullen Jungkook’s shoulder. “Come on! The night prevails!”

“I’ll go somewhere else,” Taehyung says. 

“I think I’m done,” Namjoon says, glancing at his phone for the time. “I’ll Uber from here.”

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, looking to you. For a second, you’re not sure why. Then you realize - you either have to Uber home with Namjoon, or opt to continue on with the rest of the guys. 

The angel whispers that you haven’t hung out with Taehyung as much lately. 

The devil whispers that you and Namjoon could be all alone.

0-2 for the angels tonight.

“I’m tired,” you say. “I’ll Uber with Namjoon. You guys have fun though. JK, try to keep it in your pants.”

He flips you off wordlessly, still sulking. 

They all tell you goodbye, Taehyung giving you an extra-tight squeeze with his hug, and they walk down the block to find another bar. You turn to Namjoon, who’s tapping at his phone to order a ride. 

What do you want? His question floats in your head. 

You don’t know. You want too much, too many things, too many contradictions. 

It seems like Namjoon knows, and forgives you. He silently holds out a hand, waiting. You take it, keeping it tight in yours, not letting go even as you slide into the backseat of the Uber, as it weaves through the neighborhoods until it stops in front of your building, as it drives away, leaving you lit in red taillights before vanishing around the corner.

You’re standing on the sidewalk in front of your building’s front door, Namjoon’s hand in yours, your eyes sleepy but your pulse racing. 

He tugs you towards the stairs, and you think he’s going to lead you inside. Instead he spins you and presses you back against the stone balustrade, one hand splayed across the middle of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you insistently.

You open immediately for him, giving a happy noise low in your throat. His spare hand, the one not holding you up off the rough stone below, grips the back of your neck for the barest of seconds before continuing down - rubbing patterns past your shoulder blade, the middle of your back, down to the dip of your waist, the swell of your hip, the meat of your ass. He’d better appreciate every curve, you squeezed into spanx for this dress. 

You grip at the lapels of his ridiculous detective coat, the earth spinning in circles around you in a blur. You’re aware of only where your hands bunch the fabric, of only where his teeth and lips and tongue clash with yours, of only the fiery path his hand traces up and down your body. You melt into his touch, wanting more, trying to pull him closer, trying to get lost in each sensation.

He breaks the kiss to nip a line of sharp nibbles down your neck. You whine, trying to give him more room. His hands come to rest on your ribcage, thumbs not quite reaching your chest, which has to be a conscious decision on his part. You can feel the cold night air on your thighs; your dress has ridden up. This snaps you out of the moment a little. 

“Namjoon,” you murmur, but it comes out a little whiny as he continues to nibble down near the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “We should go inside.”

He stills, then pulls away, eyes seeking yours for any signs of discontent. “Yeah,” he says finally, one syllable all he can handle. “Come on.”

He releases your body gently, letting you find your balance on the pavement. Then, he leads you up the stairs and inside. In the threshold of the apartment, you look at him, a question on your face.

“We’re both really drunk,” he says apologetically, reaching out to brush some stray hairs away from your face. “We should probably cool down a little.”

He’s right - you know he’s right. 

“Yeah,” you say, letting the front door close behind you. “Okay.”

You press one palm against the wall for balance as you fight with your shoes, sliding them off one at a time. 

Namjoon’s in his room, but the door hangs open. You pause in the doorway of your bedroom, realizing you have a problem.

“Um, hey,” you call across the living room, and he takes a few steps to come look at you. He’s lost the hat and the long coat, and his button-down is undone, revealing a tight, white undershirt beneath. “I promise this isn’t a come-on,” you say, biting back a smile. “But I legitimately can’t reach the zipper on this. Can you-?”

“Of course,” he says, crossing the living room. You turn your back to him, presenting the zipper. He gently sweeps your hair off of your nape and places it over your shoulder. You shiver, goosebumps rising along your arms, and you hear him hum a pleased noise at your reaction. You feel him fumble with the hook-and-eye at the top, and then the zipper sounds. He pauses halfway down your back.

“That good?” he checks. “You can reach that?”

“Yes,” you say, turning back to face him. He’s still got a bit of your lipstick on his mouth, and it makes you have to fight off a smirk. Down, girl. “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

He looks at you for a long minute, expression unreadable. Finally, he says, “Goodnight,” and steps back out into the darkness of the living room. When he gets to his room this time, he closes the door behind him with a soft click. You stare at the inch of light that comes from under his door for a minute before hurrying to close your own door against the dark.

Sunday November 4th

You spend most of Saturday in bed, heart and head both pounding, which means you have a lot of homework to cram in on Sunday.

After you shower and eat, you set up in the living room to get some work done. Namjoon’s door is halfway open, and you can hear the clacking and bass thumps that mean he’s writing in there. 

Midafternoon, he appears in his doorway, stretching widely. Your eyes skim the inch of stomach exposed with the stretch and then flick back to your page before he can catch you. 

“How’s it going?” he asks, heading into the kitchen. 

You twist your mouth, eyeing your laptop and the text spread open on your lap. “I guess it’s going. Sort of.” 

“What are you working on?” he asks.

“A paper for one of the bullshit general classes,” you tell him. “Which makes it more challenging, because I deeply do not care.”

He laughs at this, then plops onto the couch a few feet away from you, a water bottle in his hands. 

“How about you?” you ask. “It sounded like it was going well.”

“It was going okay,” he agrees. “I reached the end of a scene, so now I need to like… process, look at what’s coming next. I might take a short walk and let it marinate in my brain a little.”

You smile. “How come you never work out here?” you ask him, just curious. 

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

You flush, feeling your face heat up, and bite back a smile. “What if I refused to answer?” you offer. “I could just sit here like -.” You mime zipping your lips, still fighting a smile. For good measure, you lock it up and throw the key over your shoulder.

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

Your blush intensifies; you’re tempted to go stick your head in the freezer to cool your cheeks down. “I’ll turn around, then,” you tell him.

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

Your jaw drops. “Kim Namjoon!” you scold, but you’re giggling.

“I’m just being honest!” he defends, laughing deeply, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Anyway, why? Does it bother you that I stay in there?”

“No,” you say immediately. “You can do what you want.”

He gives you a knowing look, like he’s used to your bullshit and isn’t falling for it. When did that happen? “Don’t get prickly,” he warns. 

“Don’t compare me to plants,” you grumble. 

“Do you want me to work out here instead?” he asks gently, smiling at you like you’re adorable, which just sets your prickliness off even more.

“I don’t know what I want,” you retort.

There’s a long, stretchy silence as you both consider just how true those words are, on several different levels. 

Finally, Namjoon gives you a nod in goodbye and heads back to his room. 

This time, he closes the door gently behind him.

–

Taehyung invites you out that night, to see a movie you’d been talking about. You tell him yes, as long as you can go to the earlier showing. But then you start to feel… guilty. Unsure.

You want to ask Namjoon if he cares if you hang out with Taehyung still. He’s bothered by some aspect of your friendship, obviously, but you don’t know what it is. Is it only the fact that Taehyung is a bit of a barrier for you two? Or is he threatened by the whole friendship? 

You lay sideways across your bed in the fading late afternoon light, considering this. You imagine asking Namjoon. You think his answer would probably be, do what you want, I’m not your boyfriend. 

Which, fair. That conversation needs to come first. Are you together, do either of you even really want that? 

In the end, you don’t bring it up. When it’s time, you do your best to sneak out of the apartment, hoping to avoid any conversation about it at all.

Taehyung’s car idles on the street below, and you let yourself in the passenger side and buckle up. You’re anxious, you realize, as Taehyung starts complaining about an argument he had with Jimin back at their place. You’re afraid he’ll ask something that will lead the conversation to Namjoon, afraid that he’ll catch you tripping up, clue in that there’s something worth his attention there. 

You can’t lie to him. He knows this as well as you do.

That’s why he never asks you questions he doesn’t really want the answers to.

You’re anxious for nothing, because Taehyung talks about his own shit for the whole drive to the movies, and the whole time you’re in line for snacks, and for the whole time before the movie starts as you sit in the back row of the theater munching on overpriced popcorn.

But the movie is good, and you get pulled into the fictional world, and when the lights come on you find Taehyung’s arm casually over the back of your seat. You hadn’t even noticed it was there. 

“I can’t believe Jimin wouldn’t come see this,” Taehyung scoffs as you file out of the theater and back to the lobby. “That was so good! Just because he doesn’t like that one actor?”

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first. 

But, like Taehyung, you don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the truth. So you don’t ask. What would be the point?

You wonder during the drive home if you’d feel better talking to Taehyung about what was going on with you if the guy in question wasn’t his friend.

Maybe.

But only a little better.

Monday November 5th 

Unlike the Monday before, Namjoon leaves for campus without you on Monday morning. You aren’t sure if he’s upset with you, or if he just needed to be there early. You’re too cowardly to ask. 

You need some support.

If it’s not coming from your “best friend”, you’ll have to outsource. 

You trudge through your morning class, eat as fast as you can - alone - in the cafeteria, and head to the student center. You get to the store well before your shift starts. 

You aren’t allowed to clock in yet, so you kill some time doing reading for class in the stock room. The second your shift starts, you’re at the front registers, uncomfortably close to Kris’s personal bubble.

“Yes?” they ask you archly, eyeing your proximity suspiciously. 

“I… have a confession to make,” you say, your voice as quiet as you can make it. You’re barely moving your mouth, you’re trying so hard to not actually say these words. “There… has been… perhaps… some kissing.”

Kris is stunned into silence for the first time since you’ve known them. Eyes wide and jaw slack, they stare at you. Then, they clarify loudly, “By you?”

You growl in exasperation. “Don’t be cute.”

Kris beams. “Can’t help it, it’s ingrained in my DNA.”

“I need you to be just a tiny bit serious,” you tell them, “because I am having a full-blown crisis.”

Kris sobers instantly. “Wait,” they whisper. “Crisis? Explain.”

“I kissed…” you cast your eyes around the bookstore, making sure no one’s lurking, “...the one I live with.”

Kris gasps. “You did not! You kissed him? Not the other way around?”

“I did,” you admit, feeling yourself flush again. “Twice. Well, the second time he started it, if you want to get technical.”

“I do want to get technical,” Kris whispers, voice almost reverent. “I can’t fucking believe this. So, why the crisis?”

You take a deep breath. Which factor to start with? Because you don’t want to give up on Taehyung yet? Because you don’t want to risk altering that friendship beyond repair? Because you don’t know if Namjoon will be able to handle your best friend being a guy - a guy that you’ve had feelings for?

“Because I don’t know what I want,” you say, the simplest truth. “I can’t get my head straight.”

Kris cocks their head. “If you didn’t know Taehyung - if you removed him completely from the situation -.”

“Impossible,” you protest.

They hold up a finger to silence you. “If you removed him from the situation,” they continue over you, “would you want to pursue things with Namjoon?”

Guilt hits you like an ocean wave, tugging you down, down, down. “Yes,” you whisper, because that part is just true. There’s no wiggle room, no if’s. You like him. You want to see where it will go. If there were no chance of losing Taehyung in the mix, it wouldn’t be a question at all.

“Y/N,” Kris says insistently, leaning towards you. “You are not doing anything wrong here. Taehyung is your friend. Nothing else - and that’s his fault. You aren’t, like, betraying him by catching feelings for someone else. He can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him until you die!”

“He doesn’t expect that,” you say, still in a whisper, because suddenly your throat is tight in that way it gets when you’re upset. 

“You need to talk to Taehyung,” Kris tells you gently. You groan. “And the conversation should not be you asking for permission, either!” they continue, impassioned. “You need to tell him I’m seeing someone and you need to be okay with it.”

“But they’re friends,” you protest. “It’s so messy. I’ve never had messy before.”

“You’ve never had anything before,” Kris points out.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble. “Yes I have.”

“Nothing that mattered,” they correct. “Nothing with feelings.”

You slump onto the counter. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you,” Kris says airily. “If you don’t talk to them, this is all going to blow up in your face. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

“Why do you have to be right all the time,” you complain. Kris smiles beatifically.  

When your shifts ends, your feet take you not towards home, but towards the academic building where Namjoon’s “office” is. 

You’re thinking about your conversation about Kris; you’re thinking about the idea of fairness. 

It isn’t fair, as Kris said, for Taehyung to expect you to wait indefinitely for something that was probably never coming, to hold you emotionally hostage.

It isn’t fair for you to do the same thing to Namjoon - to keep him waiting, wondering, unsure if you’ll ever be completely in it. You know that’s the reason things have kept progressing so slowly between you. You’ve felt guilty letting it get any further, felt afraid of those damn consequences. And if you had to bet, Namjoon has been trying to wait for you to sort it out, to make the choice - to choose him. 

You can hear the low tones of his voice as you approach down the quiet hallway. Only the staff are normally back here, sometimes one or two students who need to speak to a professor, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic. 

You linger in the hallway, leaning against the wall and messing around on your phone, far enough away to not be able to tell what Namjoon and the student are discussing. When the student - a young guy who looks absolutely dejected as he passes by you - exits, you slip past him and lean against the doorway. Namjoon doesn’t notice you right away. It’s clear that his hours have ended and he’s packing up his stuff. When he does notice a body in the doorway, he jumps, inhaling sharply in alarm.

He slumps against the back of the chair when he registers that it’s you.

“I’m usually the jumpy one,” you giggle. 

He gives you a sideways smile as he leaves over his bag on the floor, messing with the clasp. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else. What are you - I mean, what’s up?” 

“What am I doing here?” you tease, catching his slip. You feel a little nervous, but you’re determined to do this correctly, to treat him better. “I came to see if you wanted to walk back together.”

Namjoon goes a little still, and you hurry to add, “It’s okay if you don’t! It didn’t make my walk longer or anything to come here first. I just thought I’d check.”

He lets you babble. He does as he’s been doing since the beginning - he waits you out with a patient smile. 

“So…” you finally finish, the nerves fluttering and hopping around your stomach. “Do you? Want to walk back with me?”

He stands, lifting his bag from the ground and hoisting it onto his shoulder. “Yes,” he says simply, giving you a tiny smile. 

You follow him down the narrow hallway, back down the stairs you’d climbed a minute ago, and outside. It’s a nice day - bright and sunny, chilly but not freezing. Campus is busy, and you have to people-dodge a little as you cross the main section, the crossroads of the two main paths. 

The second you cross through the front gate and step onto the city sidewalk on the other side, Namjoon silently reaches for your hand. It’s different from last time, in the rain - not urgent, not pulling. It’s gentle and tentative and, weirdly, somehow sensual the way his thumb runs over your knuckles as he glances sideways at you to see if you’re okay with this.

You give his fingers a tiny squeeze.

You walk together in silence for a few minutes, and then Namjoon asks you quietly. “How was your day? You had class this morning? Was it for Thesis?”

You smile up at him, happy to have someone to talk to about this. Kris would listen, you’re sure, because Kris is a good human, but they would much rather talk about romance. And Taehyung… it’s November, and Taehyung has asked you about your classes or your thesis exactly zero times. 

“No, not for my thesis,” you tell him. “Just a regular lit class. It was okay! I was so tired, I could barely stay awake… I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.”

He laughs. “Can’t imagine why,” he teases, voice going a little deeper. “I’m sure you were a perfect angel all weekend long.”

The joke - that you’d dressed as a devil - is not lost on you, and you grin up at him. “Clever,” you say.

He beams back, proud. “Sometimes,” he allows.

“How about you?” you ask. “Did you have class before your TA hours?”

“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Unfortunately, it was a research-based class.”

You groan in sympathy. “First thing on a Monday morning? Fucking ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m not much of a napper, but damn, I could use a nap.”

At the apartment, you decide to watch a show you’re in the middle of, and you settle on the couch with a throw-blanket over your legs. Namjoon appears in the doorway of his bedroom, looking at you a little balefully.

“Can I… do you mind if I read out here?” he asks.

You scramble to sit up a little making room on the other side of the couch. “You don’t need to ask,” you say, a little appalled that he’d felt the need. “You live here! I never mind, I promise.”

Appeased, he makes his way over and gets comfortable on the other side of the couch. It occurs to you that this is how you and Taehyung usually spend your time - on opposite ends of the couch - but you shove the thought away. 

You glance at him now and then as your show plays, and a few times you think you catch him watching more than reading. In between episodes, you notice his book face-down on his chest, rising and falling in deep, even motions. His head leans back against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids flutter as he dreams. 

Smiling a tiny smile, you fluff your blanket to cover his legs, and press play for the next episode.

<- Prev || Next ->

Thank you so much for being here!!!!! What did we think of what I lovingly call "the Halloween Pub Crawl Fiasco"?!

Section VII will drop on Friday, February 24th! I hope to see you there!!

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fic #namjoon x reader #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon x you #bts fic #Namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #kim namjoon fanfic #rm angst #rm smut #rm x reader #strangers to lovers #s2l #college au #roomie au #rm fic #fic: mffmhh #slow burn

[starlight-channie]

my biases as romantic love tropes —

A small series to keep me a little productive

first love ~ bang chan 🌙

soulmates ~ kim taehyung 📷

childhood friends to lovers ~ yunho 🧸

high school sweethearts ~ yubin🧃

masterlist

© starlight-channie

#stray kids imagines #stray kids #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez scenarios #stray kids scenarios #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts #kpop series #kpop reactions #mirae scenarios #romantic tropes #love tropes #soulmates au

[sailormoonblogs]

I know that this isn’t the usual Sailor Moon content I would post but, I just wanted to wish a very special Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

My winter bear 🧸. I love your cute and silly personality, and I hope that one day I can meet you. Thank you for making beautiful songs with lyrics that make me cry for hours. Saranghae Taehyung! 🥺🤍🌃

#sailormoonblogs #BTS #Happy Birthday Taehyung #winter bear #scenery #inner child #singularity #stigma #Tata mic #kim taehyung #aesthetic pics #the love of my life #ARMY #borahae #saranghae #bts forever #btsforlife #bts tae wallpaper #bts content #bts pics #cute pics #Taehyung Stan #bts bias #bts butter #bts permission to dance #bts life goes on #bts spring day #bts wings #bts in the soop #You make me wanna be a better man

[inkedtae]

hi, how are you? i hope you have been doing well. it's my first time here 👶.

i love your work, and rotten angelcake being my favorite (taeddy 🧸 doing his doing 🥵)

i have been reading it (again³) and i had some observations: (2nd chapter)after discovered Taehyung will attend to the meeting, Marina wore a white dress & pearls (and red lipstick...i am holding this info). Ofc, I made the link between it and Tae's giving only white shades of dress to oc, as well the pearl she wanted (1st chapter); And i have 100% sure, that's why Marina didn't like oc wearing a white on her first day (2nd chapter).

🧸 must like white. Bc he wears black frequently? He got pissed by oc wearing black on geraldson residence (3rd chapter). Also, he use 🖤 and black wings emojis...am I seeing too much signs of purity x corruption here? Hmm

also 🧸 really love to observe! it's yelling a lot for me a lot lately. Is he a voyeur? 😳

One last observation & one question: Taeddy calls everyone by the name but angel. Hm.

The Tales of Magic Shop...will he know about it? Like, will other members make an appearance?

thanks for your amazing work 💗

hey! i’m doing okay, i hope you are too!! 💕

this is maybe the first ask where i can actually give solid answers to all these points and not just be super vague to save y’all from spoilers. at every point, i just kept nodding my head and going, ‘yup, yup, yup’ because everything here is spot on!

Marina attempts to mirror Angel to try to get Taehyung’s attention countless times. It does say a lot about her, but even more about Taehyung and what his past hookups think of him and what he thinks of Angel. And you’re also right on why she was so mad that Angel wore white!! 

The colours are totally a reflection on the corruption kink! He likes to see her looking as pure as she feels before he ruins her. I really can’t wait to write a Taeddy pov chapter because gahh it would go in depth about this!

Voyeur Taeddy for sure!! especially when it comes to Angel.

To answer your last question:

The tales of magic shop are like a novel/movie franchise in all my other fics outside of ‘magic shop universe.’ I know it’s a bit weird, but I wanted to kinda create my own world in my fics that almost connects them all without actually connecting them. It’s also my way of creating my own world in this little community and giving little nods at passed fics that you made have liked. I hope all this makes sense!

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I loved reading this and it just made me so happy! 🥺💓

#the masked #letters #rotten angelcake kth

[bonvoyagenoona]

Aigoooooooo the cutest baby bear 🧸 more like "RAMPAGING" MY POOR LIL OVARIES— okay, this is not becoming of a Mayor. *shrugs shoulders and dusts off lint, putting on a poker face despite melting inside softly for every gah-gah and goo-goo from one tiny lady killer*

So the boys all had memorable loves/crushes. Namjoonie had a sadboy moment too. ((name the B, I'll ban her and her three generations from the town)) Do Jin and Taetae have any sad moments too in terms of love? Does that influence their current selves??? ~ Mayor 🎨 paint & simp anon

OK first of all, this is how I picture your messages:

And second of all, lol, sometimes I have to wonder if I even have ovaries at this point because Baby Tae keeps building and building!

Now, as far as sadboys?

Taehyung re-joins the video chat.

Taehyung: OK, sorry, what did I miss?

Jin: She stay or go?

Taehyung: Huh?

Jin: Your guest? Did she stay or go?

Taehyung: And why would I tell you?

Namjoon: Jin bet me a hundred bucks that you were able to talk her back into staying. I said there was no way she wouldn't leave.

Taehyung: (smirking, having craftily anticipated his brothers) So, again, why would I tell you?

Jin: Fine, winner splits it with you, 50/50.

Taehyung: Yeah, she definitely left.

Namjoon pumps his fist.

Jin: (hanging his head) Agh!

Taehyung: I didn't even try to stop her. I mean, she already knows what kind of engagement ring she wants.

Jin types something on his phone. Namjoon smiles, then types something on his phone. Taehyung gets a notification at the top of his screen: +$50 FROM: KIM NAMJOON.

Taehyung: Anyway, what'd I miss?

Namjoon: We were talking about sadboy moments.

Taehyung: Ugh, sadboy moments? Bye. Thanks for the fitty. (barking) PEACE!

Taehyung hangs up.

Namjoon: Am I really the only sadboy?

Jin: I'm definitely having a sadboy moment. (regretfully) Tae's lost the thrill of the catch.

Namjoon: Wow.

Jin: (catching the hint of worry in Namjoon's eye) Ah, c'mon, Joon, sadboy's an aesthetic. A vibe. Your inclination to feel things deeply, no matter the feeling --- that's a gift.

Namjoon: (surprised) Wow. That was really nice, hyung. Thanks. (pauses) I'm not giving you my half back.

Jin: (hanging his head) Agh!

#asks #your asks #amomk #a map of mrs. kims #bts drabbles #hahahaha these 3 idiots #they are so so so loveable #ugh #🎨paint&simpanon #🎨 paint & simp anon #that's MAYOR 🎨 paint & simp anon thank you very much lol

[jeonsofjk]

Happy Birthday 🧸

Happy Birthday my angel, i love you sm ♡;

Ibis Paint & Polarr;

1 hour to finish the edit;

Kim Taehyung (V of BTS)

#kim taehyung #taehyung edits #taehyung bts #v of bts #kim taetae #taetae #design #my edits #bts edits #ibispaintapp #happy birthday