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paymechildsupport · 27 days

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Teacher!Ryomen Sukuna x Sorcerer!Reader // Teacher!Sukuna HC's <3

(THIS IS NOT STUDENT X TEACHER, READER IS NOT A STUDENT!)

Personally, I think it’s an actual crime there isn’t more teacher!sukuna content out there. I’ve only ever seen one fan art of it, and ever since I’ve been scrounging around on my hands and knees to find more

So m’ gonna just do it myself 🙏

-!! [AFAB + AMAB] READER (HC’s involving reader’s bodily autonomy have both a female and male vers. → brief smut drabble at the end) [everyone's in on this one👏]

-!! Reader is a rather powerful sorcerer

-!! CW: Slight possessiveness (mainly for the short smut at the end → overstimulation, dacryphilia, slight size kink(?), mention of double cocks for og form Sukuna)

-!! Veeeery slight nod to manga spoiler if you squint. If you don’t know it 99% certain you won’t pick up on it

-!! Sukuna being a bit of a softy for his SO

3k+ words

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Awhile (around a good few centuries) ago, Ryomen Sukuna came to the conclusion that no, this was in fact not the way he wanted to live his life. He decided to put everything behind him; the bloodshed, the death, the massacres, and cannibalisms— (okay maybe that stayed the same)— all the things that essentially made his staple as the King of Curses. He’s a changed curse, he swears it. Honestly? Human food? Not that bad. Kinda worth changing his world view for

With a changed work ethic, and a changed heart, Ryomen Sukuna made the conscious decision to become a teacher, — specifically a teacher in sorcery

—————-

Ryomen Sukuna works at Jujutsu Tech,-- the infamous King of Curses, who predominantly spends most of his days helping ungrateful brats obtain the necessary skills to kill his kind

→”No, you thick-skinned brat, you’re doing it all wrong!”

“I’m sorry, Sukuna-sensei! I’m trying,--.. I really am! Could you maybe go over it one more time–”

“No! You’re going to die all alone as your friends are tortured mercilessly!”

“How could you say that…” 🥺

Following the fateful passing of Yuji Itadori’s grandpa, the poor kid awakened as a sorcerer with a rather nasty supply of cursed energy; a complete abnormality with an aura suspiciously like that of a certain Ryomen Sukuna…

→ “The little brat is not living with me”

“Awh, c’mon Sukuna-!! The kid’s a ticking time bomb to disaster, he needs help controlling his cursed energy, and who better to help than the amazing King of Curses himself!”

“Shut up, Satoru Gojo.”

“Ohoho~... looks like someone isn’t happy to become a single mother~~”

“What-!? Single moth– fool, you yourself are a single mother”

“...oh, yeah. Hehe… 😚”

“I hate it here…😒”

Now, with the additional burden of personally attending to Yuji Itadori, there was only one thing keeping Ryomen Sukuna from completely imploding:

You. His partner, his lover, his spouse, his anchor,-- the only source of light in his miserable, cursed life, – the sole person keeping him from reverting back to his old, murderous ways.

Meeting a few years back, the ancient curse could’ve sworn the world got a dozen shades lighter the second his eyes landed on your form in the Tokyo crowd. Where everyone was actively moving away from his looming, intimidating hulk of a body, you looked at him with eyes void of the fear reflected off so many others.

You approached him with interest, recognizing his unmistakable aura for that of the King of Curses, – and, to his utmost shock, – you proceeded to have a perfectly normal, civilized conversation with him. Never once did you look at him like you would a monster. Every time he’d get lost in those eyes of yours, never once did he find anything short of pure love and affection. It was sickeningly sweet.

There on a mission, you introduced yourself as a fellow Jujutsu Sorcerer.

Ryomen Sukuna could’ve sworn he’d heard your name before: rather infamous with the higher-ups, you were a well-respected sorcerer. That only aided to his immense confusion: why would a sorcerer of such high esteem and all around regard even remotely think talking to him, the King of Curses, was a good idea?

Absolutely flabbergasted and entranced from your first encounter, Ryomen Sukuna was practically completely at your mercy. It took very little for you to simply haul him over your shoulder and take him wherever; he’d soon become akin to a lost puppy with you.

Ryomen Sukuna is absolutely down-horrendous with his emotions. Hah, communication? Never heard of her.

He’s never felt this deep for anyone before, and it terrifies him to no end. You terrify him to no end,-- the amount of power you have over him could be almost comical.

At the start, he flat out avoided you altogether. Anytime he’d see you on campus he’d immediately start in the opposite direction. Anytime you’d attempt to strike up a conversation something would come up,-- he’d have to go somewhere, or the brats had gotten themselves in trouble again. And when Satoru Gojo found out about his little “crush”... oh boy, the teasing was lethal.

It wasn’t long before he craved your touch, and Ryomen Sukuna started to enter withdrawal from your presence. You were brutal, the poison continuously being pumped into his veins, – which was extra ironic, considering he was after all the King of Poisons, – how the actual hell did he end up in such a position? What have you done to him?

Man, he was cooked.

With a lot of time, and a heck of a lot of patience, did the curse finally allow himself to reveal more of himself to you.

It’s never been easy, – even after you two were married did Ryomen Sukuna still suck absolute ass at communicating his wants.

He craved your attention, your gaze, your approval. You were the drug that he simply couldn’t get enough of.

He’s not good with words, – in the past everything was just handed to him, – he had no clue how to actually work for someone’s affection.

Please be patient with him, – he’s trying, he really is 🥺. No matter how much he denies it, no matter how much he complains he hates being dependent on someone, no matter how much he claims how meaningless love is, you both know deep down these feelings of deep admiration and affection aren’t one sided. Sometimes, that fact alone can get you through even his most frustrating of times. He pushes you away because he feels guilty, but almost immediately does he regret his actions and desire your presence more than anything. The things you do to him

He lost his original form centuries ago, abandoning it after his near fatal confrontation with the sorcerers of the Heian Era. Gravely wounded, he absolved to staying hidden, laying low in the shadows. Sometimes he wished he still had that form, – still had his four arms, his two faces– he felt stronger, prettier in that body. Despite how much you told him how beautiful his current, two-armed form was, he wonders if you would’ve liked his original form– what it could do, how it could please your body. (But most of all he missed his two massive cocks to shove deep inside you–)

Ryomen Sukuna is very insecure about his image as the feared “King of Curses”. He’d be seen as weak, like he’d gone soft, – if anyone found out about you. That did little to deter you from showering him with your affections though <3 Even if he struggled to receive such affections–:

“What the actual hell do you think you’re doing–”

“What? Am I not allowed to visit my darling husband at his job?”

“No- ..! Who exactly do you think you are, you can’t just waltz into wherever to embarrass me–” You were in an empty classroom in what would be the normal time for lunch. The students would be out eating, so it was only you and him.

“Is that really all you think I do? Embarrass you?” You fought to conceal the pained expression threatening to bubble up to the surface.

“Yes! Do you know what they’ll think of me if they see me with you? He snaps angrily

“Are you.. Ashamed of me?” You blink

“What-? No, of course not” His face contorts into a scowl

“Then why can’t people see me with you?!”

“That’s not what I meant–” He hisses

“Yeah?” you retort, “then, what did you mean by that?”

“I–....” Ryomen Sukuna only ever seems to find himself short of words with you

Nodding curtly, “I’ll take my leave then” you make your way to the door

“Wait-” you pause, he hated seeing you upset. It made him feel hopeless, it made him feel weak. “tsk, nevermind. Leave then”

Huffing, you step out the door. Your second foot never even leaves the threshold before you’re lifted up by a pair of strong arms.

“Gah-! Ryomen– what the hell?!”

“Shut up.” the curse growls, placing you down on the nearest desk with a surprising gentleness, “just shut up.” He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck

You smile, accustomed to his brazenness, knowing this was him succumbing to his own affections for you.

“I’ll be quieter next time.”

“Mmm… don’t be”

“Oh?” you quirk an eyebrow, “are you no longer embarrassed of being seen with me?”

“No,” he grumbles, “if any pathetic worm dares to utter something against me, I’ll cleave their head off”

Chuckling, “charming”

“I’ll do it for you too” that part he whispers, so low you almost miss it. Almost.

“Awh, you’d slaughter anyone putting dirt on my name? And they say romance is dead 🥰”

“Shut the hell up.”

-------------

Sukuna Ryomen would have a special ringer set for you in his phone so whenever you’d text him he’d know it was you

He never responds to anyone’s texts,-- anyone’s that’s not yours.

The second he hears that notification that man is immediately scrolling. It took him years to figure out how to work a telephone,-- and he still kinda sucks at it. So it takes him a while to respond, – he’s just a slow typer :)

He’ll be in the middle of sparring with Yuji for his training when he’ll hear your notification and swiftly whip out his phone, – still in the middle of fighting. Poor Yuji will still be sweating his ass off trying his very diddly darn hardest to land a singular punch and he won't even glance up from his phone 😭

It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, – the guy could be in the middle of fighting a Special Grade and he’d start texting you about what he wants for dinner while simultaneously throwing slashes 😟

Not big on PDA, – but alone? Man, you can’t get the bastard off you, – blud’s clingier than a kitten 😭he just really likes being nice and snuggled up in your arms

Alone, will often call you, – regardless of gender, – doll, (whore), sweetheart (if you’re not being a pain in the ass), – possessive lil’ shit and likes to add ‘my’ in front of any pet name, just to enforce the fact that you’re his.

Calls you karasu –(Japanese word for raven)

Sukuna Ryomen is incredibly picky with what he eats, (unless it’s your ass–) – he needs his meals done in a very specific way, otherwise he’s just not eating. It needs to be your meals too. If bro forgets to bring lunch or you don’t have time to make one for him he just starves. He’s an absolute menace when hangry– super grumpy. None of the students can stand him hungry, – and he refuses to defile his delicate palette with fast food of all horrible things

You got some of those cute cookie cutters for sandwiches and gave him little star sandwiches one day for his lunch. Mans was over the fucking moon. His ass refuses to ever eat another sandwich again unless its cut into cute lil’ shapes 🤏🥺

Be careful if you ever decide to visit him at work after a certain amount of times, cuz he will make you useful: using you as a sparring partner, giving you chores, making an example out of you to the other students.

You’re strong enough to hold your own against the King of Curses in a quick spar, – which really only means you won’t get immediately eviscerated upon throwing hands.

You’re strong, but nowhere near as strong as Ryomen Sukuna.

He’d only give you a cocky smirk, telling you to hurry up and lock in. You stare at the expecting faces of Megumi, Nobara and Yuji – who you naturally have grown a rather close bond to, being around each other so often. He gives you a reassuring thumbs up, smiling with an expectant glamor. You gulp, glancing back at your husband who has the most shit-eating grin on his face. Oh, you were cooked.

You manage to successfully dodge at least two strong attacks before being thrown onto your ass, the wind knocked out of you. Huffing, you scramble up, irritation giving you newfound determination. The King only raises an eyebrow at you.

You explode into a sprint, dashing up behind him, seemingly catching him off-guard. You lean in real close to his ear, whispering in a sultry tone:

“Your shoelace is untied”

“What, I’m not even wearing shoelaces–” and he gets thrown into the nearest tree, snapping it in half.

“Hahah!!”

“No way, Sukuna just got his ass handed to him!” Nobara exclaims, grinning

“That was so cool!” gushes Yuji, sending a wave of pride flowing through you at his excitement.

It is short lived, as your husband comes up behind you, glaring with a burning passion in his eyes.

“You totally beat him up, you sent him flying–” Megumi slaps a hand to Yuji’s mouth, his rambling getting choked off with a “mmph-!”

His smile is laced with dynamite as Sukuna dismisses the students early. Confused, but mostly relieved, the trio scurry away, Nobara and Yuji shouting cheery goodbyes over their shoulders.

Only you were close enough to see the raging lust in the King of Curse’s many eyes. His gaze rakes over your body, tensed in a fight or flight state, predatory. You swallow, hard, chuckling nervously, “Heheheh…”

Oh man, you were so horribly, undoubtedly cooked.

(short smut begins below line)

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[AFAB vers.]

Sukuna is brutal, hips smashing against yours, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone,

“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?”

“h..*hic*..huh-?”

“Tsk,” he grunts, slamming himself particularly hard into your leaking heat, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain

“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the teacher’s desk– his desk– in his empty classroom, – only being held by Sukuna’s deadly grip. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*”

“You can,... and. you. will.” he punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white.

Your eyes roll violently to the back of your head, thighs squeezing desperately against him, instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s got, – despite the excess cum already spilling from your abused hole, kept in only by Sukuna’s massive cock. Was this the fourth or the fifth time..?

You lost count ages ago, numbers losing all sense of value along with everything else in your head, Sukuna absolutely fucking your goddamn brains out. Dumbed by his cock, you could only limply gaze dreamily through lidded eyes, a look of pure bliss on your face.

Sukuna grins down at your fucked out face, admiring you as his masterpiece. You looked so pretty impaled on his cock. Pulling your head back by your hair, he smashes his lips onto yours in a sloppy kiss. You truly were the best thing to come of his long, cursed life.

-------------

[AMAB vers.]

Sukuna is cruel, hips smashing against your ass, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. He fucks you, bent over the desk, – his desk, in his empty classroom,-- and shaking like a pathetic mutt. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone,

“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?”

“h..*hic*..huh-?”

“Tsk,” he grunts, large hand closing around your swollen, throbbing cock. Your eyes widen in horror as he begins to jerk you off at a grueling pace, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain

“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the desk only held by Sukuna’s torso. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*”

“You can,... and. you. will.” He punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, syncing with a violent pump to your cock, limpand emptied out. “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sukuna brain-rot goes hard-!! He's such a goofy lil' guy, I love him :3

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callsigndragon · 1 year

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My Love, my Darling, I am so late to the amazingness that Tasting the Ashes Chapter 5 is, I am so sorry! Applying to uni again is a pain.

But enough of that, let me gush about this incredible chapter and the ones that followed!!

Long message ahead again...

"Goose practically runs to his car, trying to make it in time before Iceman can have a chance of grabbing him by the mustache, but when he turns around his car to open the driver’s door, Ice is already leaning against it." - hahaha, poor Goose. I love the mental image of him being dragged in by the tiny mustache tho. And the power dynamics you set up between the OGs is so great! And you maintain their original characterisation from the first Top Gun while also adding new levels to it so well!!! They really feel like the same characters 30+ years later, and that takes skill, my Darling, you are so talented!!!! 💗💗💗💗

""He pulled my son's papers. I don't know what he's capable of anymore."" - the Beef is strong with this one and I am all for it!!! Love, love, love to see it! It adds another set of beautiful and painful layers to this story, which makes it even more intriguing!!!

"“You want to talk? Let’s talk.”" - LET'S GOOO!!! WHOOOP!!!

"Goose nods, still not looking at Maverick. “I’m sorry for saying that your daughter was the one that ‘opened her legs’. That was totally uncalled for. I don’t think anyone is at fault here. They’re kids; they took all the necessary precautions, and well, it wasn’t enough.”" - I absolutely adore that Goose can admit that he crossed a line and has the decency to apologise. I love him so much 💗

"“That’s the Mitchell thing I’ve heard since that stunt you pulled three years ago.” Goose chuckles, looking at him at last. “Now I get it.”" - it is also beautiful how you show that despite probably a decade long grudge, Goose and Mav still know each other so well and have a history of friendship. It is awesome to see this lighter moment appear between these two 💗

"“...twins even with a condom? Man, they should study your little soldiers in a fertility lab or something.”" - hahahaha!!! Honestly, Slider and Amelia should team up! They would be unstoppable at roasting The Poultry and make everyone laugh with their comments!

"“Died the month before Ash came looking for me. Left a letter for her daughter on her will, along with her father's name." Mav explains, his jaw clenching at the fact that, apparently, Barbara didn’t want to see her daughter reunite with him while she was still alive. He wasn’t that bad of a person, right? He had done good things. He was a good guy." - that gives some deep thoughts. I am so excited to learn more about Ash's background and how things between her and Mav will turn out!! They need to do some serious connecting, and as they already established there is little time before the twins arrive... Love, love, love this!!! You are so incredible at setting up relationships between characters!!! 💗

"“Goodness gracious, great balls of fire, is this like a movie plot or something?”" - hahahaha, I love this line for so many reasons!!!

"“I don’t know, man… I’m as lost as you are. I just adopted Jake and know he has a sister!”" - this is so great! The existential crisis Mav is going through, hahahaha. I really shouldn't laugh but... Poor man. But at least he got some practice at parenting with Jake and Amelia.

"Maverick drops his head over the table. “She’s not mad, just deceived. I always told her that I didn’t have any kids from previous relationships, and now she thinks I lied to her.”" - aww, poor Penny as well. I love all these relationship dramas and turbulences, it makes the story so rich!!! Love it with my whole heart!!! 💗💗💗

“Disasters come in threes, don’t they?” - love this line and how it could also be applied to Seeing Red as well. And not to mention how it links to the name of The Universe as well. Love, love, adore it!!! 💗💗💗

"“She’s staying with Red and Jake. They have all she may need in their house, so… She went with them. I’ll go tomorrow to talk with her.”" - darling girl staying with the darling family, my heart is melting!!! 💗💗💗

"Goose looks at Iceman. “Give Rooster office work for a while. He needs to be there for Ash and the kids.”", "“Don’t worry, I will. I heard that she wanted to talk to him, and your son told her to wait.”" - I love the different reasons they have for grounding Bradley, hahaha, it reflects their personality and mindset so perfectly!!!

"Slider only has time to raise his head and see Goose’s fist collide with his face." - hahaha, poor Slider

Chapter 6 is amazing as well!!! I love Jake's realisation of having an adoptive sister!!! I am really looking forward to see how Ash will come to terms with this too. And the idea of Bradley constantly calling Red is so funny, and so true to character! Poor Bradley, having to face all this on his own. It is going to be so great to see how he will try to get closer to Ash and work things out. And how he will grow up to the challenge of being a dad of twins. You really set the scene for an amazing story and it is incredible so far!!! 💗💗💗

The chat between Amelia and Samantha is pure gold!!! I love them so much!! Looking forward to seeing more of Samantha! 💗

And let's talk about the incredibly beautiful moodboards you made!!! They are so cool and amazing!!! I love them and that you give us more information about the characters through them!!! Amazing!!!! 💗

My Lovely, as always, I love your writing and Tasting the Ashes is incredibly beautiful, awesome and funny so far!!! Loving every moment of it!!!

Lots of love to you my Beauty 💗💗💗💗💗

(italics anon 💚)

My loooooove 💚💚

Listen, I've seen Top Gun '86 more times than I can actually count. It's one of those movies I grew up with and while everyone looked at Mav, I was in love with Goose’s goofy attitude and Iceman's character. I imagined thousands of times how I would write about them and now it's my time 😭💕

I want to make a few more, I'll have time this afternoon after work 🥺

Again, thanks a lot for all your kind words I love them so much 🥹💚

#top gun maverick #tasting the ashes #happy disasters #italics anon 💚

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marvel-m-lee · 3 years

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Sunrise?... •Part 3- M-Verse•

Fandom: Marvel

●○●This is a Tickle Fic Story●○●

-This story may also include Gore in some chapters-

(This chapter doesn't include tickling but Is advised if your reading the story)

It was late, very late, the young girl, whom had still been unconscious was left to lay in her hospital bed until she awoke. Steve stayed at her side, even though Tony and Bruce tried to convince him other wise.

Everyone in the compound seemed to be asleep, it was extremely early in the morning so it was expected.

You hesitantly opened your eyes, a bright light causing you to pull your head away and stir. Once your eyes became accustomed to the lights you looked around, you were in a hospital like room on a single bed with cream white sheets in a white hospital gown.

You sat up and saw next to your bed was a man, he made your eyes wide and afraid yet warm. Had soft blond hair, he wore a blue shirt with some

Grey tracksuit bottoms on. He was sleeping soundly on the chair, cute little snores coming from him. It made you smile, but quickly hide the smile once you realise you actually were smiling. Though it was cute. You began to have an arguement in your head about it.

"Hey" You snapped out of your thoughts to look at the person speaking with wide eyes. They were small, they had brown fluffy/curly hair and a pair of thin rectangular glasses on the bridge if their nose.

"Hello, I'm sorry if I awoke you or scared you" it seemed like a man, he stepped in the room whispering to make sure he didnt wake anyone. He seemed more nervous than even you were, and you couldn't remember anything so you were pretty shook.

"I- um.." You stuttered, you felt a warmth with his words.

"It's alright, would you like to come with me for a bit? I'm going on a morning walk, I came in to check on you both" The man seemed gentle, he wore a purple button up tucked into some light brown trousers.

You felt like you had nothing to do here, so you reluctantly agreed. You recognised it to a degree, and your gut told you he was safe so you believed it. His warm smile convinced you he was safe once you had agreed to join him. He wasn't pushy or persuasive, just warm and quiet. Something you needed.

"Oh yeah- your clothes, follow me" He whispered, mentioning you out of the room to follow him. You stepped out of the room and could see the outside world. The sky blackish blue, colours starting to fade with one another. Little lights covering the sky.

You followed the man, you were around just above his elbows in height, and you stayed behind him so he did look over his shoulder a few times.

"In here" he mentioned as he opened a door in a corridor full of them. You followed him inside, it was very clean and organized, the room were a moss green, the bed sheets were white while the pillows were purple- the same shade as his shirt. He had bookshelves and little plants at his window, a desk right below the plants that had a computer on and a pencil holder next to it. At the back of the room was a large closet and some draws next to it with a full length mirror and another door in which you believed to be the bathroom from the tiny gap you could see through the open door.

The room really was quite beautiful, the man went over to his wardrobs and pulled out a shirt and belt, the shirt was the same mess green as the walls, flannel that was seemingly one of the largest he had, the belt was a plan old black one but still seemed to match. He then grabbed some shoes, just trainers which may have been a little too big.

He then handed you these items and asked if it were easier if he left or you changed in the bathroom. Surprised of the affection and kindness you nodded with a slight smile- unable to hold back- and went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"See, so what you do is you put on the shirt, putting it up and it should reach down to your knees maybe? Then put the belt around your waist, do it up and it should hopefully look like a dress?" The kind man instructed from outside of the door. You followed the instructions and put the shoes on.

You looked in the mirror and seemed much different already. The shirt did look like a dress, and the belt matched perfectly. The slaves were left rolled down as it was quite cold and you had noticed bruising.

Exiting the bathroom you became a different person, by looks anyway. The man raised his eyebrows in surprise but smiled rising from his- as you assumed- bed. "You look wonderful"

A smile crept along your face, along with a light blush at the complement, unable to hold eye contact.

You both silently- but surprisingly not awkwardly- left and wondered outside. He brought you along a narrow pathway full of green bushes and plants. You both then came to a stop as he showed you the place he came to relax. It seemed to be the edge of the compound, it was beautiful though... surrounded by bushes and a little double garden swing painted in white and covered with little flowers crawling up the sides.

As you looked around you noticed a gap within the bushes, an archway that looked to be on a cliff or hill of some sort. Looking across the sea horizon.

The man went to go sit down on the swing, smiling to himself. He motioned for you to sit down as well, as you did he continued to watch through the bushes to the sea line for your vision to soon follow.

You then noticed something. The sky horizon it was- changing? The black turned to a dark blue turning lighter and inti more and more colours of oranges and pinks and reds. A large ball soon drifting over waking up the world from its darkened sleep.

Your eyes shone witb the colours. Locked in, unable to look away from the beautiful sight.

You hadn't noticed but the man sitting next to you had been watching you, as your eyes lit up and became engrossed in the colours, your pupils decreasing and letting the (y/e/c) colour stream out showing their beauty. You were so enchanted by these colours that came from a seemingly so dark place it was as though the man could feel the warmth seeping out of you.

He then too returned to the beautiful sight in which the sun evolved. After a couple of minutes the beauty ended and you drifted your view to the man. Wonder and colour in your eyes.

"What was that" you asked, pure childlike wonder through your words.

"A sunrise" The man replied, smiling at you. His smile seemed warm, but broken. Like he had been hurt before. You couldn't really explain it but the way your eyes connected for a split second told you everything about his pain and happiness.

"Thank you" you whispered, lightly under your breath but just enough so he could hear the wonder and greatness in the words. It made him smile and look away, nervous of what to say next.

"You're welcome"

You both sat there as you watched the sun float further and further into the sky. It felt so peaceful, and you were so grateful to have experienced it.

"Thank you" you whispered again unconsciously. It was just so beautiful. So wonderful.

The man chuckled slightly and turned to you with his warm smile. "I'm Bruce Banner" he remarked.

You turned away from the sky and looked at him, his figure, his name, "Bruce Banner?.." you questioned, thinking it though but ultimately deciding it was a lovely name. You grinned at him, "it's lovely. I'm... um" your smile died down for a moment as you tried to think. Your name? Your name? What was it?

"Y/n y/l/n, I know. We spoke yesterday. It's okay if you cant remember much more" Bruce reassured you. Grateful, you repeated yourself.

"Y/n y/l/n" you grinned glad to know it. And it also made sense to why you recognised him slightly, you had both already spoken.

"I really loved the sunrise thing. It's so beautiful. Does it happen often?" You asked, integeed by the colours and beauty.

The kind man laughed, "every morning, I'd be more than happy for you to join me. Only don't tell the others where this place is?" He asked politely, he seemed to really love this place. You didnt know who the others where, you soon would though. But you agreed. This would be your place.

After a while you both decided to head back. It turned out you had both been there for an hour and it would move be training time for everyone. Bruce began explaining who everyone was.

"So basically we're called the Avengers, it's off a plane Danvers used to fly I believe, though I'm unsure. We have Thor, he's a god, then theres Nat, she used to be a spy, theres Clint, he has perfect shot. Then theres me, Tony and Steve. We're the 'OG 6' as the press says" Bruce seemed quite intrigued telling you who everyone was. He explained most people to a degree, they're powers and what not.

You smiled at him, taking in the information. He opened the door for you and you both entered the building. Your new relationship didn't seem awkward, just warm.

"Ah so there they were" Another man said as he made himself a cup of coffee. He had a goaty, thin and cut like an oval, he had a strong build and his cheekbones stood out. He was wearing the sane colour shirt you had on- green moss with a V neckline and some usual black trousers. He walked over to you and was a few inches taller than Bruce and walked over to introduce himself.

"You're the kid from the mission ain't ya? Well Bruce really did something" he chuckled out stretching his hand. You shook it anxiously.

"I wont bite, Sam Wilson"

You nodded,unsure if you should introduce yourself so when you let go if his hand you looked down and mumbled your name.

"Shy?" Sam smirked. He then turned to bruce to offer him a coffee, in which he declined to which sam insisted he tell him why if he were just about to make himself one.

"You- just.." Bruce was in a sticky situation until a woman showed up and answered for him.

"You suck at making Coffee Sam" Sam gasped in offence, taking a step back into Bruce.

"I do not!"

The lady rolled her eyes and begun making the coffee instead. "Thanks Nat" Bruce exhaled relief and sat on a stool and you followed like a lost sheep.

"This the kid?" She asked. She was really quite beautiful in your opinion, red hair with white faded at the bottoms from where dye had been used but grown out. She wore a black suit with some type of belt over her cleavage, her hair tyed up into a messy plait.

You couldn't really keep your eyes off her, this place was incredible. The people were fascinating and kind in their own ways.

"Thank you" you whispered to Bruce, he turned his head and furrowed his brows.

"Hmm? What for?"

You stumbled on your words, you were so grateful and warm and you had this feeling inside you that made you feel all floaty and bubbly.

Instead of answering the question you just hugged him, hiding your face in his body.

You couldn't see the look on his face but the others would never forget it, pure love and happiness radiating off of the two of you. He hugged you back, fighting the tears in his eyes.

"You're welcome Y/n"

You sat down on a stool as Nat handed Bruce the coffee and handed you a cup of coloured liquid that you just stared at in confusion.

"Coffee for the Dr. And Juice for the kid" she smiled at you both with a laugh. Sam had noticed your face though and watched you in shock walking over to you.

"Uh, you're meant to drink it?-" he didnt really know what to say. He had never known someone to not know what juice was.

"Um.. sorry.. i- um. What is this?" You asked looking around at everyone after inspecting it. You were welcome with confused looks which made you feel a little bad.

"I can't believe you've never had juice?! Its delicious, if it gave me my energy I'd be drinking it" Sam boasted. You hesitantly picked it up and took a sip, it tasted delicious?

Your eyebrows raised in surprise which told everyone you were enjoying it as you took a few more sips.

"See! Delicious" Sam remarked confidently witch a hand on his hip. Just then you all heard someone bust in the room yelling-

"GUYS?! WHERE'S THE KID?!"

16 notes · View notes

wayward-mikaelson · 4 years

Text

The Run In

Word Count: 4692

Pairing: Misha x Reader

Characters: Reader, Misha, Diego (OG Character), Xander (OG Character), Divorce Lawyer, Police Receptionist, George (OG Character), Female Officer, and Male Officer

Summary: The Reader gets away from her abusive husband. After bumping into a stranger, the Reader forms a friendship with him which the Readers soon-to-be ex-Husband finds out about.

Disclaimer: Language, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Mentions of degradation, Blood, Implied Smut

Disclaimer 2: This work of fiction contains Domestic Violence. If you have been a victim of DV please read at your own discretion. If you are in a DV situation please call 1-800-799-7233, of you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are in an emergency, call 911. There are also DV/IPV programs and shelters in your area who can help you.

Disclaimer 3: Any of the shorts that are hot and steamy, I want to put out there that it's in no way disrespectful towards Vicki at all. I love her to death and respect that marriage between her and Misha. So when reading those shorts, know that it all takes place in an alternate world where they aren't married at all.

A/N: Sorry this is late. I have been hitting some sort of writing block. I have the words in my head but for some reason I can’t get them out.

A/N 2: Tag your anyone who loves Misha!

*18+ Content. Anyone younger than 18 will need to move along. I do not want to risk my account being deleted.

**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me the proper credit. I work way too hard on my work and don’t want it to get stolen.

***This work is also posted on Instagram, Wattpad, and AO3. Go show it some love over there.

****Please follow me on my other accounts Instagram, Wattpad, Twitter, and AO3

*****DMs are CLOSED for REQUESTS. I gotta finish up my other two projects.

Forever Tags: @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @magssteenkamp @elansaidaris @hobby27 @440mxs-wife

I sit alone in the apartment, huddled on the couch. The fight had been bad this time. I mean, all fights with Diego were bad but, this one in particular had been pretty bad. I look around the trashed apartment and try not to replay the events that took place almost an hour before. The television was busted, a couple chairs had been thrown over, the mirror my mother had salvaged and repurposed for me was destroyed, glass was everywhere, and my grandmothers clock she passed down to me was busted up.

I don't know how I got here.

I don't know how I let it get so bad.

I slowly get up off the couch and watch my step all the way to the bathroom. I flip the light on and there, glowing bright red, on my face is the handprint of my husband. The throwing of things has been going on for a couple years. Hitting is new and Diego never hit me until recently. I should have left him months ago. Maybe even years ago.

After that first hit.

It was after a Christmas party at his office. We got into a fight about me talking to his co workers and about the dress I wore. He said he had been embarrassed by it all. I'm the stand you ground type of woman who snaps back. The moment I had snapped back, was the moment Diego hit me. Diego has been surprised so he left for the evening. I should have just packed and left. I didn't, I waited an apology that never really came and when it did, I knew he didn't mean it.

Tonight, it was about the fact I went out with a few friends and forgot about dinner for Diego. When I came home with take out, he lost it. Called me every name in the book. Threw things and hit me and left.

I slowly touch the already welting mark. I suck in a sharp breath when my cool hand touches the raw skin. It stings so bad that even my tears make it sting. I look at myself again in the mirror. "How pathetic," I whisper to myself. "How pathetic of you to have stayed this long over a boy that can't handle his anger. That's going to change."

I walk out of the bathroom to the room Diego and I share together. I head straight towards the closet and pull out a duffle back and begin to fill with the important things. Clothes. Some shoes. Bathroom and shower necessities. I swap out purses, leaving both my car keys and phone in my old one. I can't risk having Diego try looking for me. I log into my bank account and change every security question and answer. I close my eyes. I never thought I would need to do this yet here I am.

I look around the apartment one last time. My eyes land on the photo from our wedding day. I grab it and rip the picture from the frame. I take a lighter and set it ablaze in the kitchen sink with a few other photos. Taking a deep breath, I finally make my exist from the apartment.

I walk to the nearest bus stop and wait for the bus to show up. Even in the dark it's difficult to hide my swollen face from the world. So I keep it down and tucked behind the collar of my coat. When the bus finally shows up, I get on it and pay my fair. I go sit in the back and ride it all the way to where I need to get off. The ride is quiet. A few people stare at me when they catch sight of my face. I turn away from them and keep my face hidden away. I stare at my bags and think, this is all I have now. A few clothes, money, these bags, a few personal items, etc.

The bus stops and I quickly grab my bags and get off. I turn this way and that looking for the building I need to go into. I spot it, It's hidden behind some trees and another bus stop across the street. I make my way across the street and into the police station.

There is a lady sitting at the front desk. It looks like she's packing up to go home. She gives me a friendly smile and sets her bag aside.

"What can I do for you?" She asks. I see her zero in on the mark on my face and the look in her eyes looks like she's about to cry. "I think I know what papers you need." She turns and leaves the area and returns with a few papers in her hands. She slowly hands me the papers and a pen. "Do you need a safe place to fill these out? Theres a room I can take you to."

I nod, I want to cover as much of my trail and steps as I can. Diego is a smart man. He will soon learn I left him and will soon come looking for me. The lady walks me to a room with a table. She tells me that she won't close the door because some people in my situation get triggered. She walks to the officer that is sitting at a desk across the way and tells him something while pointing to me. The officer looks at me and then nods to the woman.

I look down at the Order of Protection and Restraining Order papers and take a deep breath. When I start to fill the paper out, I notice that I am still wearing my wedding ring and band. I take them off and set them in my bag. As I finish my paper work, I slowly get up and walk out of the room. The officer sees me and slowly approaches me.

"I can take care of this for you," He says reaching for the paper. "Now how about we get some ice for that mark and have a look to make sure it isn't more than raw skin." The officer sits me down and leaves. When he comes back he has a small ice pack and places it on my face. The cool pack feels so nice.

"I have a question," I say as the officer pulls out a first aid box and starts to look at my face.

"Yeah?" he responds.

"Is there a way to put in your system that I am not a missing person but on the run from my husband?" I flinch when the officer wipes my face with the alcohol wipe.

"Sorry," He starts to apply an antibiotic to my face. "If or when your husband comes to us looking for you, our system will actually show that these orders are on him. What will happen is that they will take your information and tell him he has two days until you are declared missing. In that time frame he would have been served with the restraining order." The officer puts a large band aid over my face.

"Good," I say.

"How long?" the officer asks.

"Long enough to finally say fuck it and leave his ass."

***

A few days pass. I'm staying at a hotel and paying by the day. I purchased a brand new phone and got a new number. I called my parents and told them what was going on. They were mad and sadden by the situation but are happy that I got out when could. I got word from my officer friend that the restraining order was delivered but he said that Diego didn't look happy.

A week passes and I am still staying at the hotel. Not many apartments won't rent to me until I'm legally separated from Diego. I meet with a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up and served to him but according to her, once the papers were signed, it would take a few months for them to be filed.

"Now all we need to do is get you two in here to sing these?" the lady says.

"About that," I fold my hands. "I have a protection order and restraining order on him."

The lawyer nodded her head. "I see. Well, I will have someone deliver to him and see if he will sign them. Just be prepared," She reaches for my hand and takes it in hers. "Some men like him, they will stall this as much as they can to get you to meet in person."

I nod. "I understand, in that case, if I have to meet him, I will have someone I trust with me."

As predicted, a week later, the lawyer calls me ups and tells me that Diego refuses to sign. Says I'm having a mental breakdown and needs to just come home so we can work it out. The lawyer also mentions that Diego had said that I'm lying about him throwing things that it's all me and that he only hit me in self defense because according to him, I slapped him before he slapped me.

I sit back in my hotel room in hot anger. I can feel the steam of my anger coming off my skin. I'm angry he won't sign the papers. I'm angry he started to make up shit about me. But jokes on him, I kept a private album on my iCloud of all the times he hit me. It my friends idea, she encouraged me to document it all somewhere where he doesn't know the password to. She passed away about a year ago from getting hit by a drunk driver.

"I'm going to need a printer," I say looking at the countless pictures of abuse.

***

The next day I go out and purchase a decently priced printer. And a decent laptop since everything was on my phone. As i'm walking down the street back to my hotel, with my things, I find myself falling onto hands and knees. The printer box rolled a few feet from me. I hope it isn't damaged, I think slowly sitting back on my knees and just staring at it.

"Oh my goodness," a voice says. "I am so sorry."

I look up to see a man with a ragged hair, black sunglasses, a black t-shirt with a jean jacket over it, and dark skinny jeans reaching down to help me up to my feet. I take his hand and slowly get to my feet. I notice the scruff framing the rest of his face. The sun shines perfectly behind him and I can't help but feel drawn to him.

"I should have watched where I was going and make sure there wasn't a beautiful woman carrying a large object," the man says turning to pick up my printer. "Doesn't look damaged from the outside."

I smile and feel my face burning. I'm sure it's bright red. "It's okay, I should have called an Uber instead of walking three blocks. I'm sorry about your coffee." I gesture to the fallen cup and spilled contents on the sidewalk. "Let me buy a new one."

The man laughs and waves a free hand. "No need to waste your money on my accident."

"What can I do?" I ask after I made sure my laptop box was fine.

"How about you let me help you with this so another person doesn't run into you?"

Taking a deep breath, I accept the strangers offer. We walk the last block talking about the city. When we get to the hotel, this man offers to carry the printer all the way up to the room. Didn't even question if I was living there.

"Thank you for doing this," I tell him as he sets the box on the small table.

"Anything," he smiles. "And when you are ready to search for apartments I know of a few good ones."

I give a small smile. I guess it's obvious that I was living in the hotel. "Thanks," I watch as he walks himself to the door. "I did never get your name." I call after him.

"Misha," he smiles. "Collins."

***

A month goes by and I am no longer looking like a crazy person after submitting all my pictures to my lawyer. Still Diego refuses to sign the papers unless he can meet with me alone. Of course I say "fuck no."

"If you want to be rid of him forever, then you have to compromise," my lawyer tells me.So I makes plans for the inevitable. But I have my officer buddy tagging along with me to the meeting.

I stare at the divorce papers and I am praying Diego will sign them at our meeting. But I doubt it. Ever since I left him, I started to see the red flags. Even friends that I still have and that haven't been manipulated by Diego, have told me they saw the way he treated me and spoke to me.

I need fresh air.

I get out of the hotel and walk to the the nearest park. It has a lake right in the middle of it. I rest my arms on the railing and then drop my head on my arms. This is more stressful than when I planned a wedding with Diego. I'm closing a door on almost seven years of marriage.

Diego was never like this. Even when we dated for five years. He was always so sweet, so kind, understanding, etc. He would buy me flowers for no reason. My apartment would be covered in them and I would tell him that I would donate some to nursing homes just to make room. I don't know what snapped in Diego to make him the way he was now.

Sighing I look up and stare at the lake. There is a small flock of ducks swimming passed me. Their color feathers shine in the afternoon. It puts a smile on my face. Something that is hard for me to do lately with everything going on.

"I was wondering when that smile would come," a familiar voice makes me turn to my left. There, a few feet away from me, Misha stands. I haven't seen or spoken to him since he left my hotel after giving me his number.

A number I never called or texted.

I had too google him to see if I could find anything on him. Well, I found a crap ton on him. An actor who did a crap ton of good. He is loved by millions.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask. Another smile creeping onto my face.

"Not long," he says walking closer to me. "Just long enough to see that frown turn upside down." He gives a small smile. "Are you still at that hotel?"

I chuckle. "I am, I haven't had the time to look at apartments. I've been preoccupied trying to get my soon to be ex-husband to sign divorce papers."

Misha leans up on the railing along side me and looks at the ducks. "Maybe he's holding out to want to try and work things out with you?"

I laugh. "No, he's abusive and isn't having it with me being in control of myself now. The night I left him, it was really bad. It took a while for the mark he left on me to go away. Then he tried to convince my lawyer that I was having a mental breakdown."

"I'm sorry," Misha pulls back from the railing and pulls out his wallet and shows me a penny. "Here's to him signing the papers so you can officially be free of him." He tosses the penny into the water. "Are you doing anything, tomorrow?" He asks.

"Besides meeting Diego to get him to sign papers? No." I answer twiddling my thumbs.

"How about after you meet with him, I take you to look at apartments?" He leans towards me with a smile. "I can get you a really good deal. I'll even drive, so we don't have to walk."

"Sure."

***

"He's late," Xander says stirring his now cold coffee. Xander is the officer that helped me the night after I left Diego. Xander was also the one who helped set me up at the hotel I'm staying at. Xander's wife, was a domestic violence victim and he was the officer that pulled his ex husband off her. They didn't get hook up until a year later when they ran into each other. They have been married for almost ten years with two kids.

"Just give it a few minutes," I say contemplating buying another coffee eying the divorce papers on the table.

Five minutes later, Diego waltz into the Starbucks and spots us. A smile spreads across his face when he sees me. Then it instantly fades when he sees Xander. He crosses the little shop in a few short strides. His black shoes squeaking from the rain outside.

"So," he sits down and crosses his arms. "Is this who you left me for? Some wanna a be body builder."

Xander smirks. "No, I'm actually a police officer. Since YN here has a few orders drawn up on you it's best that she have the right protection. Even in a public place." I notice that as Xander leans over he has his badge in his hands.

Diego looks over to me. "Can' you stop being so dramatic about this? So that we can just do this alone"

"Not ever going to happen," I say firmly. "And I'm not dramatic. Not about you hitting me."

The look in Diego's eye's grows dark but he puts on a fake smile. "I would never hurt you," He looks around as a few people over heard what I said. "I can't believe you're still on that."

"Look," Xander leans back and pushes the papers towards Diego. "All YN needs you to do is sign these. This game you're trying to play, just keeps hurting her."

Diego stares at Xander. "I don't think I will." He pushes the papers back and starts to get up. "Until next time."

"You're just going string this along aren't you?" I stood up so fast that Xander's coffee spilled. "I don't want to be married to you anymore. I stopped wanting that when you threw the first book and kicked a hole in the wall. I stopped when you hit me. I just let it go on for so long that I forgot how to not walk on eggshells. You don't own me. I don't love you. So sign the fucking papers."

Diego stares at me. I hadn't realized, but I pretty much yelled. I gather my bag and make my way out. Xander follows me.

"Hey," He hands me the papers. "Do you need me tot drive you back?"

"No, a friend is picking me up," I pull my phone out and text Misha. "He should be meeting me in a few minutes. He's taking me to look at apartments."

***

Another month goes by and I'm moved into my new apartment. All thanks to Misha and his ways of persuasion. I got the first six months half off. It was a nice little one bedroom apartment with a little den. Misha even convinced me to let him buy the furniture sets I had my eye one in a catalog.

"I'm just use to working hard for stuff like this," I say when the last of the movers move the stuff in. "I literally don't know how to thank you. Even just saying 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough."

Misha laughs. The laugh takes up his entire body. "Just a simple thank you would be enough. Unless you want me to come up with a way to convince you to let me take you out to dinner. As friends of course."

I feel my cheeks start to burn. This dude is smooth. "Okay, dinner, as friends, it is."

Misha smiles big. "Awesome, now lets get this place looking as good as you."

For the next two days, Misha is over helping me settle down in my apartment. Whenever he leaves for food or whatnot, he always comes back with something to add to the place. I didn't even argue once.

The time I spent with Misha, he always hyped me up for stuff, he said things how it was and never ever sugar coated things, he held doors open, and gave me words of encouragement whenever I told him that Diego, again, refused to sign papers over.

Diego not signing papers was frustrating. The more time I spent with or talking to Misha, the more my feelings for him grew. But I was still tied to the asshole of a man who knew what he was doing. He knew of my interactions with Misha, he always brought it up but I would shut it down.

"He's just using you for public gain," Diego would tell me. But I knew Misha pretty well at this point. Things I've read on Twitter about him, Misha would never use someone like that.

Each meeting I had with Diego, I started to see him for who he really was. I don't even know how I fell in love with him. He's even gotten his parents convinced that I'm a lunatic. His mom would text me calling me all sorts of names and telling me that I should be the one paying for Diegos therapy sessions. She would also tell me that she knew I was trouble when he brought me home to meet them. His father wanted me to pay back every dime he had spent on mine and Diegos wedding or he would get a lawyer involved. He would even send disturbing texts saying that he's got people watching me and that I should be be careful.

I won't lie, that scared the shit out of me.

That last one pissed Misha off. I have never seen him go off about someone before. After that text, I went out and put restraining orders on Diegos parents and Misha convinced me to have someone look after me while he was gone for his show. I agreed and my new 'bodyguard' went with me everywhere and made sure I got home safe. Misha even hired a security company to set up an alarm system at my apartment.

If I didn't know better, Misha was or has developed some kind of feelings for me.

***

A year after I made my escape from Diego, I finally have my own car. Paid for all on my own. So no more walking. I park my car in my apartment parking spot and pull out my phone. I see the text from Misha, it's from an hour ago. His flight is delayed and that he would see me at some point tomorrow.

"Bummer," I lay back and watch as George, the bodyguard, pull his car into the parking spot behind me. I unbuckle and get out and watch as George do the same. Before I could get a word out, I see two police cars come up and two officers run passed me.

I slowly turn around and watch them run up to my level. My heart beats fast and I follow them. George, of course follows as well. I skip the steps two at a time and watch as one officer kicks my down. I hear yelling and banging around. Suddenly, George has both his hand on my shoulder and pulling me back as an officer finally come out.

With Diego in handcuffs. His nose is bleeding and a bruise is already forming on his face.

I pull away from George and run into my apartment. There standing in the middle of the room was the other officer talking to Misha. Misha has a busted lip and small gash on the side of his head. I notice that the glass bowl that Misha got me was in pieces and the coffee table was destroyed.

Misha sees me and I rush over to him. "Oh my gosh," I take hold of his face. "Are you okay?"

"Are you the lady who lives here?" the officer asks.

"Yes, and this is my friend," I don't my eyes off Misha.

"And the gentleman we arrested?"

"That's no gentleman," my voice is hard. "That is my abusive soon-to-be ex-husband. He has a restraining order on him."

The officer puts her note pad away. "That will explain a lot. We will contact you if we need anything else." With that, the officer left.

"Everything is all good?" Georges voice makes me turn around.

"Everything is good, George," Misha says. "You can go."

After George leaves I turn back to Misha. "You said you're flight had been delayed. What happened?"

Misha leads us to the couch and we sit down. "I only said that so I can surprise you. I hadn't been here for even an hour before he broke in. He wanted to know where you were and I wouldn't tell him. I guess a neighbor called 911 due to the yelling and stuff. Officer saw my stuff and I said my friend lives here and is letting me stay with her."

I nod my head. "I'm just happy you're okay. I don't know how Diego found me."

"It doesn't matter," Misha takes my hand. "He will answer for it in court.

And Misha was right. A week after everything went down, Diego was charged with breaking and entering, assault, and basically breaking the restraining order by stalking. I sat in during the hearing with Misha. Diego's parents tried to fight the five year sentence but the Judge said that if they said anything else before court ended he would double it without parole.

A few weeks after that, I am getting dinner ready when Misha shows up. He had been showing up a lot lately. I don't mind it at all, Misha makes me feel sane and safe.

"Hey," Misha says setting his coat on the couch. "I see that new coffee table came."

"It did, thanks to you," I say pulling a second plate down. I've learned to make a bit extra whenever Misha came over. "Also, I have some good news." I point to the orange envelope on the table. Misha looks at it and then back at me.

"Did," he starts to say.

"He sign it?" I finish his question. "Yeah, he called saying he will sign it. So I dropped by and had them take the paper to him to sign. I wasn't going to see him. They brought it back all signed. I am mailing in the morning."

"That's amazing, YN," Misha comes up to me and hugs me.

"Well, let's celebrate with dinner."

After dinner, after we clean up, we are sitting on the couch. Talking about whatever came to mind. We are talking about things we are still embarrassed by when Misha takes my hand.

"YN," He says softly. "I want to tell you something."

"Sure," I put my free hand on over his.

"I...I really care about you and I am glad that it was me here and not you when Diego broke in," Mishas voice is soft still. "I honestly don't know what I would do if you were here and he hurt you. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe."

"And I am," I slowly rub his hand with my thumb.

We stare at each other for what feels like forever when Misha pulls his hands from mine and put them on my face. His eyes look search mine for permission but I lean closer to him and brush my lips over his. He closes his eyes and I feel the shiver run through his body.

His gentle grip on my face forces my face back to his where his lips wait. They're smooth and there's a lot of passion behind his kiss. My hands run up to his collar as I move closer to him. The kiss deeps and Mishas hands trail down my sides to my hips where he pulls me onto his lap. It makes it easier for my tongue to push pass his lips and into his mouth.

Without breaking the kiss and with a low growl, Misha stands up, both arms supporting me as he walks us to the bedroom. Kicking the door shut.

29 notes · View notes

tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 33

[sees rewind cover] time to be emo

swerve giving us a nice lil recap of the wild events of slaughterhouse thus far

and then the roll call page...I love how the last one is ‘rewind?!?’

OUGHGHGGHGHGH REWIND TINYYYYYYYYYYYY

I adore that nautica has a list of in-jokes to check off

ohhhh man I forgot that alt-lost light rewind doesn't really know skids?? bc the alt lost light never picked him up....

POOR REWIND he wakes up all elder scrolls style and then immediately autobot megatron is just There without explanation lmao this poor lil guy

love the casual gender stuff honestly

nightbeat: ayyyy rewind!! sup? what horrific slaughter happened here? spill the tea!

hvakjdfbskdf poor rewind is going thru it jesus

nautica and riptide hvbhkjasdsfasdfn ‘are jokes not funny where you come from?’ immmmm

nautica is so cute I love her

ohhhhh I love the panel of the two lost lights going off in separate directions with the title right below

‘I remember it well. kind of’ that's a really funny line actually hbvkdjfnasdfl

I really like how on the alt lost light, rodimus’s risky stunt with the sparkeater actually kills him - I mean I'm glad that didn't happen in the main story but that's such a cool jarring discrepancy

ok but its inherently VERY funny that the djd like, murdered the entire lost light, but later in the story the lost lighters are obviously still around and not dead...that's so fucking funny, the djd were probably like ????????????????? what the fuck didn't we kill these guys?????? but also they were tripping so they cant be sure

isn't it brainstorm who called the djd on the alt lost light??? oof

LOVE the continuity of the alt lost light being the place that the djd went at the end of the scavengers 2 parter wayyyy back in the beginning of s1

more horrific slaughter, as one would expect from an arc called ‘slaughterhouse’

jeeeesus I forgot how completely fucked up all the shit was for poor rewind 2. christ

also the like, thematic irony of alt-chromedome refusing to erase rewind from his memory and choosing to die horribly instead....SCREAMS I cant handle it

ITS SO HORRIBLE I'm so sad. poor rewind

‘silly string’ I love riptide

nautica is so smart I lov her

oooh skids going off on megatron is really good. I find the whole ‘cons are super anti-organic/alien life’ angle interesting, bc it like, Makes Sense that a race of robot aliens who live for millions of years wouldn't consider shorter-lived organic life to be on the same level as them, but its also like, not morally right, so the autobots are correct w/the whole ‘freedom is the right of all sentient beings’ thing...its LAYERED

rewind: ‘I'm tiny’

me, crying: yeah...

honestly I really really love the quantum duplication plot in this arc. its like, peak sci fi nonsense but it also like, Makes Sense, and is presented in a very understandable manner...plus its like, super entertaining and fun, so I just love it

love how they're perusing brainstorms lab and just stumble across a dead body. classic

aaaand the plot thickens, with the reveal that brainstorm is a decepticon????? whoaaaa

I love that twist too oh man. I cannot WAIT for the time travel arc yessss

oof nautica being in denial about brainstorm being a con :(

I find it kinda funny that getaway is IMMEDIATELY like, punching walls and going full that-one-wack-storm-trooper-from-that-star-wars-movie abt brainstorm being a con lmao, like what's even ur beef dude

when nightbeat is all like, wait there's a Type™ for decepticon double agents? and megatron says ‘hm. have you never been approached?’ bvhjaskdfbaksfd

mannn tho, I love all the character stuff this issue...I love the panels of megatron where he looks mad and crushes brainstorms mask, bc like, he’s gotta be thinking abt the fact that the djd, his personal squad of bloodthirsty attack dogs, were the ones responsible for all of this, as well as overlords presence, and brainstorm secretly being a con....

ok rewind and megatrons interactions are fantastic

like, rewind IS the nice one, but the definition of ‘nice’ is probably a little different than it used to be due to Big Ole War

how are they propelling themselves in space????

NOOOOOOO I'm so fucking sad, rewind 2 is literally like ‘I'm fine with being deleted from existence bc my husband and everything I knew is gone’ aughhhh

and then megatron lies and tells him that he and chromedome, on the og lost light, are ‘inseparable’ 😭😭😭 I mean I guess that's not a lie if you count cd rewatching rewinds goodbye video on loop...AUGHHH

‘let’s not drag out the goodbyes’ but rewind, what about one of the story’s themes, ‘how to say goodbye and mean it’?

and we cut off right there for maximum suspense...

omg I love swerve like, fistbumping cyclonus in the chest, and cyclonus is just like ?

skids,,,,,maybe surprising chromedome with his not-so-dead alternate-version husband isn't the best idea...like, this isn't exactly a zero-explanation-necessary kinda situation...

I adore rewinds massive shoulder pads tbh

oh god. GODDDDD. the panels of rewind and chromedome sitting next to each other, not saying anything, and just slowly moving closer to each other while looking out at the stars....literally these gay robots invented romance, thank you very much

I'm so fucking tender guhhhhhhh

like,,,,the fact that both of them separately watched the other die horribly and could do nothing to stop it, and now they're reunited here, and they don't even need to say anything...AUGH.....

OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm sorry I can’t. SO tender

and MANNNN I'm so so glad that rewind is back. I don't always love when characters don't stay dead but I'm completely happy w/it here for multiple reasons, like the fact that I really like rewind and chromedome’s story after this arc - like, I LOVE that they addressed the fact that rewind 2 is different from OG rewind, despite being fundamentally the same person, so he and cd cant just immediately get back together and pretend everything's fine, but also there's really only an 18 month (?i think) disparity between the 2 rewinds which is nothing compared to literal millions of years, soooo

ALSO I literally never considered this until this reread but it would've been kind of an L for rewind to die and stay dead considering that rewind and cd were The First transformers gay couple, and that's a really big deal! and I don't really consider it bury your gays bc like, rewind doesn't stay dead that long and also there are soooo many other gays, but STILL

plus rewind and cd ended up having a lot of story left to get thru, which is awesome

also I just love rewind so I'm glad he’s back :)

ok the fact that the suspense over brainstorm being a con still isn't resolved bc not everyone knows....spectacular tbh

don't knock the power of love, nightbeat!

the briefcaseeeeeee

ok but I really don't remember jros explanation as to why rewind 2 and the briefcase didn't get deleted hvbhjsdkhfk I gotta go look that up again

OHHHHHHHHHH I FORGOT THE EPILOGUE IS THIS. OHHHHH MANNNNNN THIS IS ONE OF MY FAV PARTS

BRAINSTORMMMMMMMMM ILYYYYYYYYY

I fucking love this scene bc this is basically the culmination of brainstorm being Completely Ominous for the entire story thus far, like, it really hit me this readthru that brainstorm was so totally sinister for like most of his screentime up until this arc...and this scene is the pinnacle, I love how everything brainstorm says is overlaid with so much tension for the reader bc of what we know now about him

like brainstorm saying ‘yes - here’s to fixing things’ is so fucking sinister even though out of context that sentence is just normal

and when atomizer basically voices what the entire audience is thinking as brainstorm opens the briefcase - ‘brainstorm, you can’t do that.’ bc yeah, what the hell, he’s opening THE briefcase, Oh Shit

AND THEN THE FINAL SHOT....brainstorm front and center looking SCARY AS HELL.... ‘I can do whatever the hell I like.’....everyone suddenly collapsed around him...the fantastic shadowy lighting...the ominously open briefcase...the clear segue Directly into the next high-concept arc....[chefs kiss] ART

seriously I love this issue so much. SO many good things. such good character stuff, really great interactions, some fantastic plot development, super creative sci-fi fun times...all around just an extremely solid and enjoyable issue, 10 outta 10

and MAN OH MAN I cannot wait to get into the elegant chaos arc, it fucking SLAPS, that arc and remain in light have always been my favs, I'm so excited to revisit it

AND ruth bought the physical comic TPB for like issues 34-38 or something and I'm so so glad I can read that instead of braving the many split-up double page spreads on the online comic

so yeah, cant wait!

#lj rereads mtmte

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rayshippouuchiha · 5 years

Text

I came out of Endgame with tears in my eyes and my heart filled up to the brim with absolute seething rage.

Even as I write this now my hands shake with some sick mixture of sadness, rage, and bitter disappointment.

So I preface this by saying that I am emotionally compromised and some of my views might shift with time and distance.

But, for better or for worse, this is my first rage flushed take:

I am so disappointed and so angry that after all of the tension, all of the build, all of the time and sweat and tears, all of the loyalty, we were rewarded with this.

Endgame had its high points, I’m not saying that it didn’t. There were some genuinely funny moments and some heart rending ones as well.

Every single second Tony Stark was on screen was flawless as always. Robert Downey Jr. once again proved why he and he alone was suited for the role of Tony Stark and the task of carrying the majority of the MCU for the past 10+ years.

That’s not to say that the rest of the cast wasn’t good. All of the actors all obviously brought their A game and then some when they were allowed to by what I loosely call a script.

So yeah, there were some highs.

But when its comes to Endgame’s low points?

Its low points were subterranean.

They lowered the bar and then they dug underneath it.

Again I’m writing this basically fresh from the theater and with my emotions still high so do forgive me if this is a bit jumbled around or if I ramble a bit as I cover some of the real issues I had with the film.

So, first thing to address was the overall tone of the film.

For this to be the much glorified Endgame, the “battle of our lives”, there was, in my opinion, a distinct lack of true tension in this film. Instead of a fraught, nail biting, tension filled ride, Endgame is more of a ... brisk jog through some vaguely sticky situations.

Instead of playing the story straight and giving the situation the gravity it deserved, the narrative went out of its way to put humor that served no other purpose than to ruin what tension had been previously built. And, in my opinion, the tone of the film suffered for it.

The humor and jokes were humorous, I’m not saying they wasn’t. I genuinely laughed out loud in the moment. But I also feel that, with the majority of the comedy that was wedged into the narrative, the film suffered for it.

Now let’s move on a bit to the actual plot of the film. Again, forgive me if I bounce a bit:

Jeremy Renner was breathtakingly heartbreaking as Clint Barton. Renner was finally allowed to stretch his legs a bit in this film and he proved that, had he been given the chance, he would have given us a Clint Barton to take our breath away.

Watching with Clint as his family died helped to set what should have been the tone for the majority of the film from there on while reminding us of just what was lost and just what was at stake all at the same time.

Chris Evans brought heart to his portrayal of a Steve Rogers who seems both lighter and more weighted down in this film than ever before.

Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha finally showed more emotion than “head tilt”, “lip purse”, and “arched brow” and it was beautiful.

The brief flash of friendship and affection between Nebula and Tony was perfect and heartwarming as well. Nebula was magnificent as the “feral space cat desperately in need of softness and a friendly hand” when placed side by side with a slowly withering Tony Stark who is, even at his lowest moments, still kind to this alien cyborg he doesn’t know but to who he owes his life. They flowed together with an onscreen chemistry in their few moments side by side that felt organic and aching.

Together Tony and Nebula embodied a truly important life/plot point of “meet kindness with kindness and kindness will be your reward”.

Moving forward in time hearing Tony vent his anger and his pain and his distrust at Steve was cathartic in a lot of ways.

As was watching Tony rip the arc reactor from his chest and slap it into Steve’s hand.

In this moment Tony is handing Steve his metaphorical broken heart and leaving someone else to, for once, try and pick up the pieces.

But then, unfortunately, things go rather steeply down hill from there.

With Tony out for the count in a hospital bed the others hunt down and execute Thanos with basically a hand wave and all hope for the stones is lost.

Until deus ex rat-ina unleashes Scott Lang from the quantum realm and the logic of the film takes a sharp left turn.

Scott Lang was missing for 5 years.

To him it was 5 hours.

To which I say, why did Janet van Dyne, age during her stay in the quantum realm? If, according to the MCU canon, every year in our world was roughly only an hour for Scott Lang, then why didn’t Janet come out of the quantum realm only 30 hours older instead of 30 years?

I feel like the answer is probably “because” but yeah maybe I’m just fuzzy on my Ant Man so if I’m wrong then just ignore that bit please.

Also, just a side note, I adore how it’s been 5 years, Wakanda is very much an ally and still up and running, and yet Rhodey still don’t have working legs. But alas, racism.

Moving on.

So with the main villain dead and Tony Stark having solved time travel in his living room, because I stan legends only, we’re now subjected, and that is the very word I’d use to describe what happens next, to what is called a Time Heist.

Cute.

Also Bruce Banner and Hulk have now merged Steven Universe style despite Hulk being scared green-less 5 years ago. But that’s all good, Bruce smoked a ton of weed, they meditated, went on a cleanse or whatever.

Either way Bruce finally did that character development that everyone had been shouting at him since Avengers 2012 and accepted Hulk as part of him and they’re now Dr. Hulk which was … something that happened?

A thing that they chose to do. The direction in which they set their narrative wheels and then powered full steam ahead and plowed us right over in the process.

But yeah, Time Heist! That’s the way to go, the only way apparently.

Because going back in time to stop the Snappening isn’t an option due to reasons that are explained and still look and feel paper thin but probably just honestly boils down to “Russos”

Our intrepid heroes will now split up and surf through time Bill and Ted style to collect the Stones from different points in history.

Yay.

So the rest of the film is basically that, a big old jewel hunt through space and history where the Russos attempt to fool us into thinking their plot points are cohesive and cool by donkey punching us repeatedly in our nostalgia-sacks.

We’re treated to, in no particular order, such hits as:

“Ah 2012 and the invasion of New York only not as interesting but Tony Stark is very much an ass man, but then we been done known that.”

“The Ancient One and her still very distracting skull vein coming at you right now”

“LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT”

“The one time I envied Scott Lang because, for a split second, he got to be inside Tony Stark”

“Let’s watch Tony Stark simultaneous take a Hulk to the face and have a small cardiac event all at the same time but from different angles”

And let us not forget

“Tee Hee Hee us white bois just had to find a way to make sure Captain America say “Hail HYDRA” but it was for “spy reasons” so weren’t we clever???????”

Yeah boys, great job.

So edgy.

(Although as a side note I do agree, Steve Roger’s ass really is America’s ass and I’d like to thank him for that. Personally.)

But then, of course, Endgame would not have been complete without:

“Steve Rogers stares longingly and creepily at Peggy Carter from behind a window, further backing up his one defining character trait in the MCU which is the inability to move on. Also she doesn’t look up at all despite being a trained spy and all around badass who probably should have noticed the 6 foot slab of American Beef staring at her from less than a foot away, dark room or no dark room.”

And then my personal favorite:

“Tony Stark sees Howard Stark, the father he described as “calculating, cold, he never told me he was proud of me, never even told me he loved me” but it’s all good cause Tony’s a dad now so looking back all he sees are the good times with his emotionally neglectful and abusive father who says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his unborn kid and now they awkwardly hug while I try not to scream “FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND HOWARD AND NO THAT ONE 3 MINUTE VIDEO DOESN’T COUNT YOU SHIT” at the screen and explode in pure rage.”

Joy.

Truly a scene that was necessary and fit the narrative of Howard Stark’s personality and was needed for Tony to uh get closure or grow as a man and a father or something …

It totally wasn’t yet another excuse to give a canonically abusive father screen time in a way that seems genial and sweet in an attempt to give them a bit of redemption that they neither earned nor deserve.

But yeah, whatever, moving on.

Also Rhodey remains an absolute gem and he and Nebula get shit done.

Only oops, not so fast.

Because apparently the only one who is going to run into the whole “two of you can’t exist in one place at one time without consequences” rule is Nebula who, despite her bitchin orange stripe/badge of character development, managed to like synch up with her past self?

Because she didn’t turn her bluetooth/quantum entanglement function off I guess.

Either way Orange Stripe Nebula, O’Snebula as I call her, has accidentally air dropped all her files into OG Nebula’s mental iPhone.

So yeah now big old Past Grimace knows what’s up.

Ooops??

So shit goes down and then Past Grimace is like “you need to Trogan horse this shit, least favorite daughter” so OG Nebula does because “daddy issues”.

Dr. Hulk puts on the gauntlet and Kentucky fires his arm bringing all the people lost in the Snappening back to life now, 5 years after they got dusted.

Which is … honestly a recipe for disaster in so many ways. What about the people, like the guy in Steve’s support group, who have started to move on?

What about the people who have remarried, have built new lives?

All of that’s ruined now.

It’s fantastic all those people are alive again but jobs, housing, food, healthcare, government, all of it is back in massive disarray across the universe.

And bringing those people back does nothing to bring back the people who didn’t die in the Snappening but died from causality instead. All the deaths caused by suicides, by car/bus/train/plane/ship/etc crashes, by a lack of first responders, by the civil/world/interplanetary wars that probably raged across the universe due to entire governments disappearing?

All of those people are still dead.

The Snappening killed half of all life in the universe. Causality probably killed another good ¼ after that.

And Dr. Hulk’s Un-Snappening saves none of them.

This isn’t a true solution, it’s a shitty band-aid.

But yeah, Russos so….

Moving on.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, plot plot plot. OG Nebula goes undercover, Past Grimace ends up in the future, there’s some fighting (which was admittedly BAD ASS), shit happens, and Tony saves the day like we all knew he would.

YAY!

Despite the massive rambling up above I’m not gonna plot out the entire movie right here though a lot will probably get covered coming up because here’s where I get down and start talking about the various character arcs too.

Because what a wild fucking ride those were.

Okay to take it from the top Scott Lang’s arc was fine. Beyond my questions about the quantum realm his was clear cut and fine although I do wonder at his luck at being, apparently, the only Scott Lang in San Fran to go missing. Well either that or he was staring at some other Scott Lang’s name instead of his own and in that case “awkward”.

Bruce’s arc was … look I could have done without all of the cringy Dr. Hulk stuff that they played up for laughs. If they were gonna brush Hulk being terrified under the rug they could have found a better way to do it besides just erasing the duality between Hulk and Banner with a hand wave.

But yeah, Russos.

Carol Danvers was beautiful and magnificent and completely brushed aside. Yes she was out in the universe handling shit, yes I know they did that so they could focus on the core Avengers, etc etc etc.

But it’s a damn shame that Carol Danvers, and her glorious haircut, was reduced to being the sorely needed and totally badass cavalry and last minute ace in the hole when she should have, logically, been a part of the vanguard. Honestly I have thoughts on why Carol’s entire character should have been saved completely for the next phase of the MCU instead of introduced so late in this one but I digress.

O’Snebula was a perfect shining bionic light and I love her.

Gamora is now alive in the future but at what cost? Not that her life isn’t worth something on its own, it totally is and she deserved the loophole resurrection 10000%.

Shit’s gonna be awkward though cause she doesn’t love Quill, she doesn’t love the Guardians, doesn’t really know O’Snebula or the universe she’s been thrown into. She doesn’t have the memories or the experiences or the character growth and even if she does go back to her family she’ll never be the same person.

Now her and Quill’s relationship, if they ever have one again, will be reduced down to Quill going “you fell in love with me once you could do it again despite us no longer having the shared experiences that bonded us together”. Same can be said for the rest of the Guardians as well.

Guess we all know what the plot of GotG 3 is gonna be about.

And that brings us to the story lines that really and truly upset me.

Which is basically all the rest of them.

Natasha/Clint’s combined story-line, Thor’s everything, Steve’s … Steve, and then finally Tony.

Now the Natasha/Clint story-line started out promising.

Clint’s rage and pain was obvious, his heartbreak poignant. His decision to use all of those to cut a bloody swathe through the criminal underworld was both Dramatic(™) and understandable.

Natasha’s love and grief for him, her desperate attempts to hold onto what she has left by throwing herself into her new job, was a perfect demonstration that Natasha Romanoff is very much not a robot. She was exhausted, frayed at the edges, and she had tears in her eyes, over Clint. And then she pulled herself together, slipped her mask back on, and pushed her way forward. This was all excellent.

It was also a nice narrative callback/parallel to have Natasha be the one to go out and bring Clint in from the cold.

Natasha plays touch stone, plays stability, for Clint and for many of the others. For the first time Natasha is truly portrayed as a person all the way down to the core instead of some witty quips in a catsuit. Plus her eyebrows finally came back from the war and her hair looked good again. So there was that.

Clint and Natasha’s arc comes to a climax on Vormir as they search for the Soul Stone and Red Skull, the Nazi cockroach that he is, gives them the same spiel he gave Thanos.

To get the Soul Stone you must give up the life of the one you love the most. A soul for a soul.

Narrative wise this is consistent, we all knew this would happen as soon as they started searching for the Stones again. It was obvious.

It was also obvious that Clint was the perfect sacrifice.

He’s got nothing left, his family is dead, he’s already lost the people he loves the most, he’s spent five years being a borderline monster.

And he is also, without a doubt, the thing that Natasha loves the most.

Clint was ready and willing to go, ready to die for the blood on his hands, ready to sacrifice himself for the chance that his family would be saved.

Ready to lay down on the wire and let Natasha walk over him for the sake of everything.

Clint dying made sense, was narratively sound, and heartbreaking.

All of which are only a few of the reasons why Natasha’s death was such a goddamn betrayal.

Instead of following along with the narratively sound death of Clint Barton, an Avenger that’s been ignored for most of the films as is, the Russo brothers instead chose to fridge Natasha.

Clint dying would have been the perfect mirror to Gamora’s death.

Gamora was a daughter unwillingly sacrificed by her father to destroy half of all life in the universe.

Clint would have been a father willingly sacrificed by a friend to save half of all life in the universe, his own sons and daughter included.

But no, we didn’t get that, instead we got a gratuitous scene of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, splayed angel like and bloody on the rocks below.

Instead they fridged the Black Widow, the only woman of the original Big Six, because they couldn’t bring themselves to fridge a man.

So Clint gets the Soul Stone.

Such a fitting end for the Black Widow right? Dying in a man’s place, mourned on screen by a circle of men, but ultimately set aside rather quickly.

I understand why Natasha wanted to be the one to go, I understand that she didn’t want Clint’s family to lose their husband/father and that her true family was the Avengers. I get that. It doesn’t mean I enjoy or agree with the decision they made any more.

It doesn’t make me any less tired of watching female characters die for the sake of men and their families.

Natasha Romanoff sacrificed herself for the universe and her family and that deserves respect even if I absolutely hate it as a narrative choice.

Oh and what about the absolute NERVE of the Russos to have that awesome Lady Power Battle Strut happen but only after they killed Natasha, one of the Big Six?

Bitter? Me? Nooo.

Now, moving on to Thor.

Thor.

Oh my actual God, Thor.

The levels of disrespect Thor, Chris Hemsworth, and the fans were shown with this character arc/story-line in Endgame is breathtaking.

The absolute, shameless disrespect.

They turned Thor into a cowardly, drunken slob who has spent the last 5 years ignoring his responsibilities to what’s left of his people and instead has spent his time drinking, sulking, and literally yelling at kids over PSN??

Endgame’s Thor has the bullshit reasoning that he needs to stop trying to be who he thinks he should be and instead be who he is.

Which flies completely in the face of literally all of his character development from Thor all the way to Thor 3 and then Infinity War.

The entirety of Thor 3 was Thor’s hero’s journey culminating in him finally being the king he was always meant to be. Finally maturing and stepping forward to lead his people.

I am supposed to believe that Thor, depressed and guilty or not for not killing Thanos when he had the chance the first time, just abandoned his people like that?

I’m supposed to believe that Thor would piss all over everything the majority of his family and friends died for?

I’m supposed to believe that Heimdall, Loki, countless soldiers, and The Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif (I guess), all died to protect Asgard, died for the people and for Thor, and Thor just what? Turns his back on all of that to become a drunk?

No, Thor wouldn’t do that. Thor should have been down there beside Valkyrie working those fishing vessels when Bruce and Rocket came calling. If Thor had any hesitance to join them it should have been, “I can’t abandon my people, I am needed here.” He should have been fiercely guarding the tiny fraction of Asgard that’s left.

Thor’s depression and guilt was valid. Don’t mistake me on that. But they played it for jokes. They made him a caricature of depression, made him “gross” and incompetent and the butt of the jokes, and in the process diminished what should have been a painful and poignant arc for Thor.

Instead we got Big Lebowski Thor, bathrobe included, who does stand up and fight yes but, in the end, gives up his crown and just fucks off to space to have petty pissing competitions with Peter Quill so he can?? find himself?? despite finding himself in Ragnarok already???

Thor’s entire arc in Endgame was shallow, mishandled, and disrespectful to the character, to Chris Hemsworth, and to the fans.

You, we, he, all deserved better than this.

Now we get to Steve.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

I’ve had a lot of salt about Steve’s character and actions in the MCU but, all of that aside, he deserved so much more than what the Russo’s did to him in Endgame.

Hell he’s deserved so much more than what’s been done to him since post-CA:TFA.

But this is about Endgame specifically soooo….

Steve’s shown leading a support group in the beginning of Endgame, is shown talking about moving on and moving forward and learning to let go. Which is wonderful. It sounds like the exact character development we’ve all been waiting for for Steve.

Which is, of course, the exact moment when Steve goes “nah just kidding, we don’t ever move on”.

Which, given the circumstances, is pretty fair. If Steve was only thinking/talking about Thanos and the events of Infinity War.

But of course he wasn’t.

CA:CW should have been the end of the Peggy Carter saga for Steve. He mourned her, he was finally moving forward, he’d kissed Sharon, he threw everything away to save Bucky, he gave up his shield, etc etc.

But no. Endgame finds him right back there, clutching that goddamn compass, and making moon eyes at a woman who we all thought went on and lived a life without him, got married, had kids, and generally existed outside of Steve Rogers.

But no. The Russo’s had to take that away from us too.

And yes yes I know I know multiverse or whatever but still.

Steve steamrolls his way through Endgame with skill and determination. He picks up Thor’s hammer, finally worthy, which how??? Why??? (perhaps because he’s no longer keeping secrets??? Or maybe that’s just my salt talking? Who knows? Not me?)

And then he fights Thanos head to head.

(Although him wielding the hammer brought up an entire separate set of issues cause I’m pretty sure Mjolnir doesn’t actually summon lightning. Ragnarok pretty much said that the lightning has always been within Thor. Mjolnir was just a control accessory. But, you know, Russos *jazzhands*)

And then, in the end, he insists on returning the Stones on his own.

Only he doesn’t come back like he was supposed to.

Instead we’re given old Steve Rogers.

Because Steve returned the Stones and then ….went and found Peggy Carter and got married and lived an entire life with her ignoring everything he would have known was going to happen to her and around the both of them or something???

Or maybe not if the multiverse thing holds up but then who knows any more???

But then how did Old Steve end up right there by that lake on that day at that right time if he’s technically from a different multiverse???

Either way Sam gets his shield and the mantle of Captain America, which was fantastic, and Bucky more than likely knew Steve’s plan all along but the best read I really got on him was basically “eh” so he might well have been happy for Steve too.

But still, instead of finally achieving peace and continuing to learn to live in the future with Bucky and Sam and the remnants of the Avengers, his family and the life he’s built there over the past years, instead of putting the shield down because he’s learned to let go in the now, Steve only puts the shield down because he chooses the past.

He chooses the past over all of that and all of the people left who love him. Sure the argument could be said that he knew they’d be alright but still.

There is a deep well of dissatisfaction inside of me as to how Steve’s entire ending arc was handled. Why did peace only come to Steve after Tony and Natasha were both dead and then was only found in the past?

No disrespect to Peggy Carter, I adore her, but were the relationships he had in the future worth so little that the past was the only place he could find happiness? A past with a woman that he knows loved him but still moved on and found happiness outside of him, lived a full and happy life without him?

Steve didn’t get a character arc so much as he got a character circle. A character loop. He went right back to where he started.

Endgame erases all of the character development Steve underwent post-Avengers. Just brushes it all under the rug.

The Russo’s stole the character development Steve Rogers spent a decade undergoing to give him their version of a happy ending.

They robbed him and us both of every bit of growth and forward motion Steve has underwent and I will never forgive them for that.

And now we get to Tony Stark.

Anthony Edward Stark.

The Iron Man.

Tony’s arc is, was, the longest and best developed arc in the entirety of the MCU.

It’s spanned 10+ years and has been nurtured and hand fed by Robert Downey Jr.

If Endgame got one thing right, one thing at all, it’s how they handled the majority of Tony’s arc.

From him laying the smack down on Steve once he was home, finally venting his emotions and his anger, all the way to him solving time travel before tucking his kid into bed, and then building an Infinity Gauntlet on his own even though Thanos committed genocide to get the one he had.

Tony Stark’s arc was glorious and expected and sad.

I think that my one almost complaint is that Tony stopped for 5 years. On one hand he deserved the rest, deserved the chance to find happiness. He was hurt and tired and he’d faced his demons and been left bleeding out with the death of half the universe weighing on his shoulders.

He deserved to just stop for a while.

On the other hand stopping is not something Tony has ever been good at, just like Pepper said. A part of me thought Tony would be working, frantically, to find something, anything, to turn back the hands of time. To track Thanos down. To get the Stones and then to get everything else back.

To get Peter and all of the others back.

But that’s not the route they went and I’m … okay? I guess, with that.

Tony was validated and vindicated and everyone would have finally listened to him. It only took the death of half of the universe to do it. But he was too tired, too hurt and untrusting to keep pushing. I can respect that.

But of course once an idea worms its way inside Tony can’t let it go. So he solves time travel on the fly and sets out to save the world.

Again.

His one stipulation is that he will do anything, everything, he has to in order to keep what he has now. His wife Pepper and Morgan, his sweet little daughter.

So of course he doesn’t get to do that either.

After all of the blood, sweat, suffering, and mental illnesses, Tony doesn’t get his happy ending. Not really.

He gets to rest, yes, but he loses out on everything he wanted to do with his kid. In the process of saving the universe he becomes the one thing he never wanted to be for Morgan, a distant father.

A face on a screen, stories, memories other people have.

No matter how many holograms or inventions or whatever Tony left to Morgan, it’ll never replace him.

Morgan got 5 years with her father. She’ll spend the rest of her life hearing stories about him, about how much of a hero he was. And hopefully, with Pepper and all the others behind her, Tony will remain a hero to her and will not, instead, become her version of Captain America. An untouchable symbol that Morgan will never live up to.

So, in the end, Tony sacrifices once again.

Watches the future he wanted crumble to dust in his fingers, lightning scorching him from the inside out as infinity rips him apart.

And he dies there, surrounded by some of the people who love him best.

His best friend.

His wife.

The son he almost had.

And, despite all of that, it is very very fitting that his death was at his own hands.

Thanos could take out half the universe, he could traverse time and space, he could humble Thor, terrorize the Hulk, rip Steve Roger’s up, survive shield and hammer and so much more, but the one thing he couldn’t do?

He couldn’t kill Tony Stark.

The only thing that could kill Iron Man, could kill Tony Stark, was his own heart.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones in hand knowing how this is going to end, knowing that Stephen Strange set him on this path years ago.

Because didn’t Strange warn him? Didn’t Strange tell him outright “I’ll let the kid and you both die to protect the Time Stone”?

Tony just never expected it to take a few hours and then 5 more years for Strange’s promise to finally be fulfilled.

So Tony does it knowing that after everything he’s been through, all of the pain and the suffering and the battles, it was only enough to have earned 5 years of happiness, 5 years of his dream.

5 years of being the father he always swore he’d be.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones and dies for the entire universe, for his family, for his daughter. Dies knowing that he’ll be doing the one thing he didn’t want to do, swore he would never do.

Leaving them behind.

Tony Stark brings us full circle as he stands as both equal and mirror of Thanos once again.

Man to Titan. Good Father to Bad Father. Life to Death.

Tony Stark picks up the weight of the universe and then he dies making sure that it has a future free from the same fear that has haunted him for a decade.

A warm light for all mankind, sent to sleep, to rest, knowing that finally everything will be okay.

And all he had to do was die for it.

So, I’ll close this out saying this:

This was written in one solid push after my first viewing and Endgame was dissatisfying for me as you might have guessed. I am disappointed and angry at so much they chose to do to end out this iconic decade of cinema and to close out these character’s arcs.

There were a lot of points and little details I didn’t get to cover in this and perhaps a lot of points you might not agree with me on.

That’s okay.

Because, no matter what, there is one thing I know for sure.

We, I, will always have Tony Stark and the lessons he taught me. The pain he endured and shared with all of us. The bravery and strength he inspired in so many of us as we watched him struggle with physical and mental illnesses on screen. As we watched him obsess and stress and love and grow.

I have never loved a character more than I love Tony Stark.

I have never been impacted by a character as much as I have been by Tony Stark.

I’m not sure if I ever will again.

So, Tony Stark is Iron Man.

He always will be.

And he saved more than just some fictional universe.

He saved a lot of us along the way too.

And we’ll always love him for that.

#MCU wank #Avengers Endgame #avengers 4 #Avengers #Endgame #A:4

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thinkyoureholy · 5 years

Text

Guess Who [9/ OG Ending]

[ a/n : that's it everyone, the end has come hhhh I love working on this so much I'm sad to let it go BUT I have other things in the works that I'm excited about😁 thank you for showing Guess Who and Sweet Lies so much love I honestly can't believe how much support it got I wasn't expecting it at all I love y'all so much😭🤧💞]

Pairing : Kim Jongin x Reader / Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Genre : Angst, Violence, Language, Fluff, Smut, CHARACTER DEATH, Mafia! AU

Words : 2k

Pt 1. Pt 2. Pt 3. Pt 4. Pt 5. Pt 6. Pt 7. Pt 8. Pt 9. 1st Alt Ending. 2nd Alt Ending.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

-Y/N’s P.O.V-

I stared down at Jongdae’s face, numb all over. I had laid him down on the ground a while ago but I couldn’t bring myself to move, not even when I heard gunshots coming from inside the house. I just...sat there, staring blankly at Jongdae’s dead body. Was it really worth it? I knew I had nothing else to live for but was it true for the guys as well? I never stopped to ask them if they wanted to do anything, anything at all with their lives. All I did was ask them to give me their lives, selfishly thinking of my own goals, not once stopping to think about them. I couldn’t help but let out a dry and humorless laugh, staring down at my hands now. I should’ve died back there in that warehouse.

Without a word I pushed myself off the ground, swaying from side to side as my eyes scanned the area. After a few seconds of looking around I found a tree branch laying on the ground. It wasn’t too big but it had a decent amount of leaves still attached to it. I picked it up silently, dragging it back to where the others lay. I looked at each and every one of them before turning to Kyungsoo. I was moving almost robotically as I patted him down, searching for a lighter. I had remembered that he smoked occasionally so he must have a lighter on him. I almost smiled when I found one in his pocket but frowned instead. With a heavy sigh I light the branch, throwing the lighter to the ground once it was lit. As if on autopilot I slowed walked over to the treeline, making my way around it, igniting everything the branch touched. I watched with dead eyes as the fire crawled its way up the tree for a moment, the flames reflecting off my eyes.. I turned on my heel suddenly, now facing the house. Dragging the branch behind me I left a trail of fire in my wake, dropped the branch a few feet from the house.

I remember hearing six guns shots, if one bullet made its way into one man then that means there’s at least one more alive in there, the one who fired the last shot. Only one person came to mind when I thought of that last man standing, please, please let it be him but if it was the wrong man, if it was the one that deserved death more than anything then the police would be here soon enough with a fire that big burning outside. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, clenching my hands into fists at my sides, willing the tears not to fall but just the thought of him being dead had them falling from my eyes at full force. I let out a shaky breath before reaching for the door, noting how my body shook. As soon as I opened the door I felt the air leaving my lungs, blood.

There--there was so much blood. Blood seeped into the tiled floor of the kitchen, the walls of the hallway leading to the living room were covered in blood. I took slow steps forward, my legs feeling like they were ten times heavier than usual. I was only able to take a few steps before I completely froze, seeing a familiar tussle of black hair matted down with blood. I couldn’t see who exactly it was but I couldn’t help but think the worst, forcing my legs to move and turn the corner. My knees almost gave out from under me when I saw Junmyeon’s face. He was lying on his back, a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead, his eyes closed forever. I choked on a sob as I stumbled back, my eyes trailing down his lifeless body, only to find someone else’s foot lying next to his.

I brought a hand up to my mouth, that sob escaping as I recognized those shoes. No, no it can’t be, it can’t be him, please anything but that. My pleas went unheard as I stared at his body, falling to my knees. I reached out a trembling hand but retracted it, not wanting to believe it but the blood that pooled around him was too big for him to still be alive. I crawled over to him slowly stopping just a few inches from his body. I reached out to touch him once more and like before I pulled back just before my fingers touched him. Pulled my hands close to my body, curling in on myself as I sobbed, feeling my heart break into a million pieces.

“No...no...please...you--you can’t be dead, n-not you. S-Sehun please...open your eyes. I’m b-begging you…” I cried out, finally having the courage to touch him.

I grabbed his face in my hands, choking on a sob at how cold he was to the touch. I leaned down and pressed my forehead against his, my tears falling against his cheeks.

“Sehun please.” I said, biting down on my bottom lip, hoping for a miracle but even I knew that wasn’t possible.

I whimpered before wrapping my arms around him, holding him close just before I let out a loud cry of anguish and grief. I felt my whole body trembling violently as I lost the one person that meant the world to me. He was the only person I could count on, the one that never lied to me. Out of everyone, he was the only one that mattered, not Baekhyun, not Jongin, but Sehun. Everything with Sehun was different, our bond was deeper, if only I had just told him how much he truly meant to me. He was my family, my brother and I-I let him get hurt like this. If I hadn’t pushed this whole revenge thing he would still be alive right now, teasing me over some stupid thing.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…”

I repeated this over and over again like a mantra until I could no longer make the words come out. I sat there for I don’t know how long, the numbness coming back. I felt numb all over, the tears having stopped moments ago.

“Y/N…”

I heard my name called out in a strained voice from my right. My movements were sluggish as I turned my head, looking up at him through hooded lids. I let my eyes roam over his body lazily, noticing the blood on both his legs and his left shoulder. The moment I looked upon his face I felt nothing, no hate, no affection, nothing. No emotions whatsoever came over me, I just felt empty inside.

“Did you kill him…?” I asked, staring back down at Sehun’s lifeless face.

He said nothing for awhile, kneeling down beside me, “No..at least not him.”

I nodded, oddly believing his words, “What about Jongin? You kill him?”

There was a pause before I felt him put his hands on my shoulders, shaking me softly, “Y/N listen to me, Jongin, he did this. All of it. He killed Junmyeon, Sehun, Minseok, and Yixing. He wants us all dead and he wants you and me to kill each other.”

I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at his words, tilting my head to the side, “Do you really expect me to believe Jongin killed his own men? He’s a lot of things but a traitor is not one of them. Is lying all your good at?”

“Y/N--Y/N listen to me please, just this once at least. I’m telling the truth. If I was lying I’d come up with a more believable lie. I know I haven’t been truthful with you but p-please believe me just this once.” He pleaded with me, shaking my shoulders once more.

I smiled softly, “Why? Why should I? Let’s say I believe you and Jongin killed everyone and wants you and me dead what will he gain from it? He’s lost his whole crew, everything he had built up over all those years, gone. Now he’ll have to start from scratch-”

“That’s exactly what he wants! He wants to start over, take control over the whole city without us in the way to stop him! Believe me please!” He yelled, cutting me off before sighing heavily, “You--you should get out of here, there’s nothing left for me but you...you still have your whole life ahead of you. I want you to at least go out and live the life we robbed from you. I want you to live, Sehun would want you to live. Y/N please...just get out of here while you can.”

I said nothing, lowering my head and staring down at Sehun’s lifeless face once more. Before I could stop it a dry laugh left my lips, the tears flowing once more. I grinned but the smile didn’t reach my eyes.

“Tell me, what would I be living for? Sehun’s dead. Everyone I cared about is dead...just what would I be living for?” I asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

As soon as our eyes met I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach at the look in his eyes. He looked so incredibly sad, heartbroken even but before he could say anything a deep chuckle bounced off the walls. I bowed my head once more, my eyes on Sehun. I could hear the footsteps approaching us but I paid them no mind.

“I’m touched really. All the way till the end you believe that I’m a good person. I don’t know if I should thank you or laugh at how stupid you are.” Jongin said, his voice coming from directly behind me, “I knew you’d come in handy in the long run and boy am I glad I was right. You helped me get rid of everyone that was useless to me...I’m kinda sad I have to get rid of you too.”

I didn’t even bother raising my head, not even when I heard some scuffling going on behind me. While it was going on I couldn’t help but stare at the gun that lay beside Sehun. If what Baekhyun said is true then Jongin really did kill Sehun. Slowly, without drawing attention I reached for the gun, slowly wrapping my fingers around it, bringing it closer to my body. I stared down at the gun covered in blood, suddenly flinching when I heard a single gunshot go off. I didn’t dare turn around, already knowing who fired it. There was no way Baekhyun would’ve been able to fight Jongin off in his condition and when I felt a rough hand weave through my hair, pulling at it harshly I knew I was right.

“I guess this is the end, doll. I really did enjoy playing with you.” He said, his voice low, breathing heavily.

I watched as he brought his gun up, aiming at my head but before he had the chance to fire I shot first. His face fell the moment the bullet pierced his skin, his hold on my hair loosening up before he pulled on it harder than he had before. He grit his teeth together before lowering his gun, aiming at my stomach. With hate filled eyes he fired once, two, three times. I winced at the pain, tasting the blood in my mouth, faintly hearing the sound of sirens in the background. Jongin shoved me away from him, letting me fall to the ground with a thud. I looked up at the ceiling blankly, coughing up blood as it trailed down the sides of my face. Just as I felt like my body was finally about to shut down a hand intertwined with mine. I turned my head slowly, seeing Baekhyun in the same state that I was, no he was in worse condition. But he was holding on, wanting to get to me just before the life left his body. Unlike before I didn’t move away, squeezing his hand in mine. If only I had just stayed away, left all of my hatred... then no one would have died. I guess it’s too late to regret that now, hindsight isn’t going to save me, I mean why would it if I couldn’t even help myself. Man, all the way to the end I was pathetic.

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dorkshitsuji · 6 years

Text

Discovery

I felt a little awkward submitting hard-core smut here, so I wrote something lighter and sweeter. OG Doc on my other blog.

Discovery

Edgar Redmund finds himself in a very awkward situation regarding his uncle.

Undertaker x Aleister Chamber

Edgar and Aleister family\Friendship

Mild smut and comedy

___________

“Really, I’m dreadfully sorry for my uncle’s behavior. I’ll be sure to have a chat with him with him about this. He’ll never speak to you in that provocative manner again.”

The halls of Weston were empty aside from prefect Edgar Redmond and his aid, Harcourt.

“It’s alright, I seem to get that kind of attention a lot actually.” Harcourt admitted sheepishly.

“You know what. If my uncle acts up again, I’ll just call my mother. He’s a tiny bit terrified of her.” He joked.

Joanne laughed sweetly.

“Homeroom is about to start for the 2nd years, I’ll see you after class Mr.Redmond.”

Edgar was left alone in the hallway. He brought a rose up to his lips and sighed.

“Four more years, Edgar.” Unlike his uncle, he had self-control.

The perfect continued down, book in hand, quietly reading to himself.

A loud shriek came from the upper floors of the school. Edgar dropped his book in shock. ‘What was that? Was it a person? Is someone hurt?’

He heard it again, louder this time.

‘Someone was being attacked! No, I heard that scream somewhere before…’

Edgar remembered something from long ago.

When he was a child, before he was old enough to attend Weston, he spent most of his days at the Redmond manor. His uncle would visit often. Edgar’s mother, being rather childish for her age, planted a moth on his uncle’s coat. The Viscount was startled and, to be blunt, screamed like a lady. As a very young child who didn’t know any better, Edgar nearly laughed himself to death. He remembered it so vividly, he would know that scream anywhere. His uncle must be in distress.

“How much longer do I have to stand still? I’ll be late for my anger management session.” Asked Greenhill crossly, wearing nothing but a towel and holding an apple.

“Something you just can’t rush.” Whispered Violet, sketching away. He had been feeling rather uninspired lately.

Bluer, doing nothing in particular was sitting at the edge of the gazebo when he happened to spot a figure sprinting towards them. Lawrence had known Edgar his whole life. Aside from cricket, he was far from the athletic type. His entire body language was completely out of character. Bluer sprung to his feet, alarmed.

“Edgar! What on earth is the matter?!”

“My uncle! I think he’s being murdered!”

“What!?”

“I’ll go get help!” Greenhill turned to the direction of his schoolhouse.

“There is no time! We will be too late if we don’t hurry.”

“Fine then!” Herman grabbed his cricket bat and followed the blond, along with Lawrence.

Violet paused, daintily put down his book then got up to help stop a potential murder.

Edgar followed to screams up the stairs, followed by the others.

“Uncle Aleister!” ‘Blast! He can’t hear me!’

Edgar’s father is a very distant man, but in those days it was common for fathers to be like that. His uncle was the closest thing to a paternal figure he had. Despite his flaws, Edger cared deeply for him.

In their hast, they had not realized they were right in front of the headmaster’s door. With all his energy, Edgar swung open the heavy door, all the prefects rushing in. Greenhill wielding his bat like a deadly weapon, still in nothing but a towel. They all froze in their tracks, horrified at what they saw.

Aleister was bent over the headmaster’s desk, trousers down with the Headmaster standing over him, inside him.

“Mornin’.” Death said cheerfully.

“AHHHEDGAR!? NO! SHIELD YOUR EYES! DON’T LOOK UPON ME!” Aleister cried hysterically.

“Icanseethatyou'rebusyweshouldgetgoing.” Edgar herded everyone out of the room including himself and shut the door.

“Was he wearin’ a towel? That musta’ been embarrassin’.”Said the reaper.

Aleister collapsed into a puddle of shame.

It was the next day. The prefects were all gathered at the breakroom, trying to make like yesterday never happened, aside from Gregory who was sketching in the corner. He had been inspired. There was a knock at the door.

“This is the prefect’s breakroom.No other students are allowed in here.” Bluer assumed it was a lost student or teacher.

“Terribly sorry. Is Edgar here? There are some things I want to discuss with him.”

“Uncle Aleister?”

“Oh. Oh dear. Umm…come in.” Bluer stammered awkwardly.

“Merci, Lawrence.” The Viscount sat down on a couch next to his nephew.

There was a moment of silence as he stared blankly at the other 3 men.

He cleared his throat. “Should I say something.”

“I think it’s best if you 3 let us talk privately.” Edgar said politely.

“Of course, of course. Come along.” Bluer ushered himself and the others out of the room.

The Viscount sat there, twiddling his thumbs, blushing slightly.

“So…Concerning what happened yesterday I-I mean, I’m sorry you had to see me in such a state-”

“Can we not have this conversation. Please.” Edgar begged.

Alister overdramatically wrapped his hands around his head.

“Oh dear me, I knew you’d be ashamed of me! Seeing me on the receiving end of another man! I dare not show my face to the Queen let alone my dear nephew!”

“Uncle Aleister, I’m not ashamed of you in the slightest, I just don’t want to discuss my uncle’s sex life!”

“Edgar…”

“I mean, I certainly do not think any less of you, it’s just a little awkward to discuss such things with family.”

“Oh Edgar.” Druitt wrapped his arms around his nephew, once again sobbing overdramatically.

“Uncle, please! Compose yourself!” Edgar was caught off guard.

“Nono~! Don’t call me uncle.”

Edgar sighed. “Really, it’s nothing to cry over.”

“Oh dear, I may have had a few too many glasses of wine to try to cope with the situation.” Aleister dried himself off with his frilly pocket hanky.

“You won’t tell anyone about this incident, will you?” Asked the Viscount.

“Oh goodness no! “ Edgar exclaimed, but then thought for a second. “IF. You leave Harcourt and the other students alone.” He was bluffing of course, but his uncle did not know that.

“Edgar! I!…okay.” The Viscount said timidly.

“We can have tea later and make like this incident never happened, right now I have to meet with the other prefects. They are probably at the library.” Edgar stood up, getting ready to leave.

“I think your little artsy friend left his book here.” Aleister pointed at a sketchbook on the table.

“Well then, the polite thing to do is to return it to hi….” Edgar picked up the open book, then froze. Drawn on the pages was a very familiar scene.

“WHAT THE F*%CK!?”

“What is it-EEK!”

Shouts could be herd all the way down the hall to the library.

“WHY WOULD YOU DRAW THAT!!?”

“GREGORYYYY!!!”

Gregory Violet hid in his cloak.

We are all Gregory.

#kuroshitsuji #edgar redmond #aleister chamber #undertaker #underchamber #viscount druitt #submission #submition #fanfiction #oh my GOD #i lOVEEEEEE #shdfkajfhjsdfhajdfhsdf #amAZING

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10th February 2019

Nothing happened, at all.

Top 10

For its third week, Ariana Grande is at the top spot of the UK Singles Chart with her single “7 rings”, from the recently released thank u, next album – which I personally think was pretty mediocre. Regardless, I don’t see this going anywhere, especially since nothing happened.

“Sweet but Psycho” is staying still, with Ava Max’s song still at number-two.

Similarly at number-three, “Dancing with a Stranger” by Sam Smith and Normani doesn’t move from last week.

Neither does Calvin Harris’ and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man’s “Giant” for that matter at number-four.

Finally, some movement – up two spots is Mabel’s “Don’t Call Me Up”, at number-five.

This means “Wow.” by Post Malone is down a spot to number-six.

Now, our first new arrival, as Billie Eilish debuts at number-seven with “bury a friend”, becoming her first top 10 hit in the UK, and her second Top 40. We’ll talk more about it later, but I’m impressed by how she’s been able to debut this high; definitely shows that new album will do big numbers.

“Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus falls down two spaces to number-eight.

At number-nine, up a spot from last week is Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved”

Also down two spaces is Post Malone and Swae Lee’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack cut, “Sunflower”, now at #10, slowly making its way off the charts.

FEATURED SINGLE: “Kids Turned Out Fine” – A$AP Rocky

Now, to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming is Featured Single, the segment where we look at a great song that is getting a single push of some kind but isn’t charting and spread some light on it briefly. Now this song in particular just got a really high-budget music video that combined some of its elements with Rocky’s other song “Changes”, which is all flashy but otherwise kind of unremarkable – but the song itself is great. There’s a catchy, psychedelic guitar sample that starts it all off, showered by scattered vocal samples and seemingly field recordings of playgrounds, before it switches to a slick trap beat that Rocky croons over, before everything slowly gets pitched down and slowed down as he mentions the drugs on his mind as a teenager, who is curious about venturing into substance use without caring about the consequences, and man, does it feel like it. This is psychedelic and confusing, once Rocky starts spitting and the bass actually appears, it just kind of explodes with only distorted guitar to accompany it, before a couple random “Yeah! Yeah!” ad-libs that cut it back to the beat as it was, and the verse continues normally as if nothing happened. Yeah, the album this is from, TESTING, is kind of like that, all of the time. Some of my favourite songs are trippy, chaotic messes, with moments like that random Diddy skit on “Tony Tone” about how he said something while her kids were listening that was vulgar, I suppose, that just cuts the song entirely and the transitions aren’t smooth, it’s just a miniscule interlude that takes place for no reason other than experimentation, and honestly despite lacking substance (Ironically), I love this song (Even though it is just vibe and nothing else, really) and how smooth it is in its controlled chaos, definitely one of the calmer moments on TESTING, but I can never see it being a hit, ever, despite how nothing happened. I think “Brotha Man” with French Montana, Snoop Dogg and Frank Ocean could have a better chance, perhaps “OG Beeper” with BlocBoy JB at a stretch. So let’s just get to the Climbers, Fallers and such.

Climbers

Did I mention nothing happened? This week was so dry and slow that Pinkfong rebounded with “Baby Shark”, up another five spaces to #19. That’s sad. It is alongside Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign though, as “Nights Like This” is up 10 spaces from last week to #30, which is good because this is a pretty great song from two great artists, one of which I’m pretty sure is also serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession. Yeah, okay, let’s get to the fallers.

Fallers

Now there’s a couple more here, to an extent. As expected, J. Cole’s “MIDDLE CHILD” is down five spaces to #14 – without a music video I don’t think this is a great lead single, sorry, Cole, I am excited for your next album but this song’s pretty boring. “Lost in the Fire” by Gesaffelstein and the Weeknd is down five spaces to #24, next to former #1 “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande down six spaces to #28 (This will rebound though, the album’s out now), while “18HUNNA” by Headie One and Dave is down nine spaces to #32. That’s it, though.

Dropouts

“Baby” by Clean Bandit, Marina and Luis Fonsi is out from #29 (That’s been kind of a flop overall, I’m just surprised it lasted this long), while other than that, we have “Comfortable” by Yungen and Dappy out from #32, “Think About Us” by Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign out from #34 and 15 years in prison for cocaine possession, “Psych Out!” by AJ Tracey out from #36 (I guess the album didn’t do all too well?), “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes out from #37, and surprisingly due to recent circumstances, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz out from #39. Rest in peace to Cadet – tragic he died so young in a car accident, and just in his prime time to release more material, sucks that his life was cut short at this point in time, and we only have limited music from the guy, he was only 25. On a lighter note:

Returning Entries

Actually, this isn’t a lighter note at all, this song sucks. “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi is back at #40 (Who cares?). Maybe the new arrivals will be better, there’s four of them so there’s got to be something good there.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “i’m so tired...” – LAUV and Troye Sivan

So, uh, LAUV’s back with another song, huh? I thought he’d end up a complete one-hit wonder but I suppose he’s attempting that second hit, and you know what, I’m not complaining, I loved his last one (More on that when I post my best list; it’s concerningly high). Troye Sivan is okay, I guess, none of his stuff except perhaps “My My My!” has really grown on me all too much though. Sigh, what do these boring pop dudes have to say? That they’re sick of love songs? That all these fairy tales are full of it? That if they hear one more stupid love song, they’ll be sick? That they’re at a payphone trying to call home? Yeah, alright, enough playing around. This is LAUV’s first ever Top 40 hit in the UK (Congratulations) and Troye Sivan’s fourth, and is it good? Well, I can agree with the title’s message on the surface, I guess. Not that I’m tired of love songs, I’m just tired. The song itself? I mean, it is generic, but it’s quicker-paced than his last hit, and it seems to have some more energy, but that guitar strumming just kind of gets on my nerves, same with that mind-numbingly repetitive hook. There is a lot of genuine groove in the production though, especially the janky percussion, and Troye Sivan’s melodies are sonically sound. I can see this growing on me like LAUV has succeeded in before, but I could equally see myself hating this after hearing it more than five times (Because you know the radio will play the most bottom of the barrel stuff after the rise of trap-rap). It’s okay, I guess. Next.

#36 – “a lot” – 21 Savage featuring J. Cole

It’s about time this appeared, and I know exactly why. Back in late December, 21 Savage dropped his album as pretty much a Christmas present, with i am > i was being slightly inconsistent but there’s still a lot of quality there, and fun to be had, especially with the powerful opening track. Now that there’s a music video and now that 21 Savage has been detained by ICE for overstaying his Visa (Apparently he’s actually from the UK, but he’s been freed now), I can only see this rising from now on, and that’s good because it was going to be my Featured Single for this week if it didn’t appear. This song is fantastic, all three versions of it. It starts with a few different 21 Savages just repeating ad-libs while that great soul sample croons in the background of the trap skitters, “I love you for so many reasons, I love you for all seasons”. The bass hits behind 21’s insanely catchy hook with that multi-tracked, “A lot” playing after every line, until 21’s verse, which gets fittingly, broken down, for an unidentified sample to repeat, “I break it on down”, with random vocal samples and sound effects playing in between. While 21’s meaningful subject matter is arguably more important, and the section is totally filler, I love those little touches that show the layers of the production. 21 is essentially playing the underdog who’s seen and been through traumatic gang violence and experiences with women, who has still succeeded. But then you hear J. Cole drunkenly and tiredly say, “Yeah”, before going on a ramble about how 21 Savage had his kids in the studio or something, I don’t know, and then he goes off.

Some n****s make millions, other n****s make memes

Yeah, it may seem like I hate J. Cole’s guts from how all his charting stuff is really boring and always gets negative reviews from me, but he’s definitely one of the best rappers out when he really wants to bother. This whole verse is essentially a complete ramble, but he did warn us, although he does keep a general theme in his rapid flow and charismatic yet calm delivery, which is how the new-wave rappers and overall new-wave black society in the modern Internet age should have more guidance, and now that the older legends in that society are getting older and more mature, much like 21, he feels they should have more responsibility and that he feels bad for the even newer, younger wave of SoundCloud rappers who will regret all their decisions, including 6ix9ine, who I may add he doesn’t defend – he just feels bad for him as he knows at some point, Tekashi’s going to look back at what he did and ask himself, “Was it worth it getting myself into prison for essentially life?” I wonder if Ty Dolla $ign is thinking that while he’s serving 15 years for cocaine possession. 21’s alternate verse on the physical, live and music video versions also discusses people getting blocked at the border, and that families in ghettos still don’t even seem to have a right to clean water and are constantly stuck in financial situations and struggles with no way to escape, and it honestly seems like an anthem for 21, who’s gone through all this, with his verses combined probably being better than Cole’s, honestly. This song is like six minutes (At least the best version of the song is) so I’m surprised it’s gone this far, but it deserves it. Check this out if you haven’t already.

#15 – “All I Ever Wanted” – Fredo featuring Dave

Now, back to some British stuff. Fredo and Dave are close friends, and honestly the chocolate frog and its mundanely-named partner are people I initially was just confused by, and you can tell during my review of “Funky Friday” months ago, which is a song I know oddly admire and adore for all its odd quirks. I didn’t think it was anything special at the time, but it’s slowly become one of my favourite songs of the past year. After listening to more stuff, though, as more from both has crept up on the charts, I’ve started to love them both, and seeing as this is the only song to enter the top 40 from the three Fredo album tracks entering on the top 100 this week from his album Third Avenue (That I’ll check out immediately after this episode), this is of course the one that left the most impressions on listeners. I’m really into British rap, especially the trap and the more low-key, soul and R&B stuff (Check out Tom Misch, he has some beautiful songs like “Good to be Home” and “Movie”, in fact the Free Form official Spotify playlist has some fantastic British hip hop, listen to some of it if you can and give these guys support), so hopefully this’ll be good, and, yeah, it is. It starts with a glittering piano and twinkling leads that are cheap but definitely symphonic and almost video game-like, with producer tags ham-fistedly appearing as the bass slowly creeps ominously. In fact, the whole song is really ominous as even when the hi-hats come in, there’s no real bounce and Fredo just yells at us. It’s pretty intimidating, and when the beat finally drops, we have that classic stock “Oh!” sound you hear in songs like “Leave Me Alone” by Flipp Dinero, “Dilemma” by Nelly and “3500” by Travis Scott, but here it has so much reverb that any other voice than Fredo’s troubled gang mindset feels distant. Dave is great here, referencing... Lil Baby of all people, with a more stable and serious flow, mentioning the people close to him who he’s lost to both prison and death, in a really long and fantastic verse. The emotionless vibe of this track makes it so much more full of emotion, and although it sounds slightly dated in its production, this is a dark and menacing yet almost sombre banger, pretty similar to one of Dave’s other songs, “Hangman”, and definitely deserves to be Dave’s sixth top 40 hit and Fredo’s fourth.

#7 – “bury a friend” – Billie Eilish

I’ve heard two other songs from Billie Eilish in full, and I love both of them; “when the party’s over” is a genius piece of songwriting from her brother Finneas, and “lovely” is a beautiful ballad with Khalid. Those were slow, minimalistic piano-lead songs, though, so what happens when she lends her voice to, uh... industrial funk? Yeah, this one is bouncier and this one is more danceable, and that’s why it debuted this high, especially with Eilish’s hype at an all time high right now, not because some British rapper cameos in literally less than one second at the start of the song. His name is Crooks, and I figured he would have an uncredited rap verse when I saw it had additional vocals from him, but it’s literally just him whispering, “Billie”, and a couple ad-libs. Eh, okay, but how does the music stack up? It’s brilliant, of course. With Kanye’s “Black Skinhead” as a point of reference, the minimalistic 808s and claps only accompany Billie’s multi-tracked and pitch-shifted vocals, before the verse starts and sound effects are scattered everywhere, with pained shrieks, glass shattering and moans adding to the lyrics. Seriously, I love little details where musical elements actually relate to the lyrics directly, but then that bass hits slowly and that one 808 just keeps going on with a shrill synth, and then it just ends entirely, pretty abruptly. This song is eerie and honestly pretty scary, and Crooks’ ad-libs and backing vocals contribute to that greatly. Eilish’s sing-songy melodies make it even weirder, even, making the song feel like a possessed toy box. That intense moment where it’s just that ear-piercing synth and the 808 is such an interesting musical moment, man, this is pop brilliance. It’s creepy art pop not designed to be an indie darling, but designed for the radio (This is insanely catchy as well) and that hits a soft spot for me. The best art is made for mass consumption. That new album’s coming in March by the way, and I’m incredibly excited.

Conclusion

That was a really freaking good week, actually, so I’m only having to force Worst of the Week out on LAUV and Troye Sivan for “i’m so tired...” (The song’s not even close to bad, it’s just my only option), with Best of the Week going to Billie Eilish again for “bury a friend”. Tied Honourable Mentions go to the equally amazing yet only somewhat flawed songs, with 21 Savage, J. Cole, Fredo and Dave all picking them up for “a lot” and “All I Ever Wanted”, respectively. See ya next week, but it won’t top this.

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frankeyss-blog · 6 years

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1st Draft “ CANT CHEAT DESTINY

Can’t Cheat Destiny

I’ve never told this story before but I think it’s time you all know the truth. It’s been exactly twenty years since the homeboy’s Mario’s sister died. I am not that same person anymore, and now that everyone that was in the incident is dead. Well, allow me to tell you what happened that night in early ‘98, Mr. Priest.

“Go ahead, I got all day son.”

But I don’t. So this is it. So please record it. Only to show their mother. I heard she ain’t doing too good, yeah? I don’t want to let her die without knowing the truth about her kids, ya know.

“Do what you need to do to make this place a better one once you pass, son.”

Well, this dude was a hard nigga, straight up. We called him Maury cause he always had random bitches telling him he their baby daddy. His real name was Mario though. He had mad short people trauma. He liked getting drunk and picking fights at parties, hitting on taken girls, try to drink the most and smoke the most. You know, it was all fun for us cause we’d known him so well that we didn’t take him seriously.

You know, we all grew up in Long Beach. Not the Belmont side, not the Bellflower, not even close to Signal Hill. We were from downtown right before they started remodeling the area closest to the port. Cause all that shit is nice now. Bar here, lounge there, wine tasting over here and a club in every block. Pine avenue is where people go lose their money now. Back in ‘97, when all three of us graduated high school, Pine avenue was the block you lost your life in. It was the crack spot, the whore house and the place you wouldn’t want to be without at least a fucking knife, man. Most people carried guns, most people had no bullets in them but I wouldn’t try to test nobody. I survived that shit cause I was from there. I messed with the right people and picked the right people to ignore. My mom was a drug user, my most loyal customer. She still owes me money to this day. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. Mario’s mom too.

I can’t tell you when I met Mario. I don’t remember. My earliest memory of him is, us drinking water at the Cesar Chavez Park out of a garden hose because we had ditched class. We were in second grade at the time and we used to go back to my house while my mom was at work and smoke the cigarette butts she left on the coffee table. Mario would always want to do some extra shit like drink my mom's liquor, burn shit for the fuck of it. It was never enough trouble for him. He would push me to get on a random bus and just cruise through the city. People gave no fucks back in the day you know. Things were probably worse back then but people weren’t as alert about it. I guess two seven year olds alone in a bus wasn’t important enough for anyone to notice or care. I was always about twice the size of Mario so people probably thought he was my little brother. Shit, only if they knew I was following his orders.

This was our way of life for the longest time. Doing whatever the fuck we wanted. Our moms didn’t care. At least, I didn’t think so back then. I had never met my father, and I think Mario’s left him when he was like two. So doing whatever we wanted to do made us feel like men. We got in trouble and shit but it was the only way we could experience and learn from life. Luckily, I was the only child. Mario had a little sister. About four years younger than him. She outgrew him when she was in 7th grade, he was a junior then. I never teased him about it cause it was that one thing that triggered him the most. Everyone else, though. We would be in school or at the park playing ball, and dudes be asking him like, Yo, where’s your sister at? I rather have her ass on my team! Me too, shit. I always had Mario’s back though, no matter what. These moments is what made Mario so feisty. He always needed to prove a point. I fought a lot of his fights and maybe I helped his ego grow because he always had someone to rely on.

On 9th grade, this fool joined a gang. Not any gang either, he had to go prove himself he was better than any other thug and drug dealer. He went ahead and joined the Crips. We always had an invitation to the gang because we lived in the neighborhood. All main heads knew us since we were children and whether we were in the gang or not they protected us, invited us to parties, they had our backs and we had theirs. No need to actually join the gang. I really wish Mario would’ve consulted me first. There I went helping him sell weed and hustle. We were already living the ghetto life, no need to have to wear blue so everyone knows you’re being a low life on purpose. I can tell you that Mario watched Scarface too many times. I remember the summer from Junior to Senior year was crazy. Everyday we would go to the local liquor and I would steal a few forties while he bought a swisher and a lighter. We would kick it at my house. Smoke my mom out. We’ll wait for his little sister to get out of summer school at noon and go fuck with the little youngsters from her middle school. She hated us, man. She was so ashamed of Mario but we gave no fucks, we were faded. She always stayed away from us as much as she could. I don’t blame her now. I don’t think I ever did. Mario would pick a couple fights, we’ll sell a few grams and recruit one or two kids a week. The main heads liked Mario but they also knew his ass wasn’t alone, there was a dumb nigga doing half his work for him, that was me. Like I said though, I didn’t care, I was having fun, Mario had his gat, I had my knife, we were cool.

Remember when I said, Mario never settled though. He always had to go do some extra shit.

Fast forward to when we were in senior year. High school wasn’t as bad. No one fucked with us because they knew they could die. That was the truth. Get your fucking brains blown out for talking shit or looking at someone the wrong way. If you carried a bandana that wasn’t blue, chances were you were going to get a few broken ribs after school that day.

We made it to winter break, that year of ‘97. Mario had the great idea of impressing his mom and stealing a car for her. When Mario told me about it, it wasn’t a plea for help, it was a plan, alright. This fool, had spotted a ‘64 impala on the other side of the city, closer to Wilmington. Don’t worry about Wilmington, just know that they don’t like crips.

It was December 22nd. Cold as fuck man, I had told my mom I was going to wal mart to get some christmas gift for one of my teachers. Mario had actually told his mom he was going to go get her a christmas present. I was wearing a black Steelers hoodie and he was wearing a bright blue Cowboys jacket.

We met at his house. Drank a forty with his mom. We smoked a spliff on our walk to the bus stop. I had never stolen a car before, this was some big boy shit. I assumed Mario knew what he was doing. Even though he seemed to have big balls, he would never approach something without at least knowing he had a chance to win or achieve his goal. I just followed Mario. I remember my hands stayed inside the pocket of my hoodie the whole ride there. Mario was talking about how this gangsta life was paying of. He was trying to go into moving bricks and maybe trying to hustle pussy in the hood. He wanted the life of scarface. Big mansions, big cars and fine bitches at his feet. If he made it, that meant I made it too. I was riding his same cloud. It’s been like that for so long.

We got to Wilmington, we get off the bus somewhere on Anaheim blvd and the beautiful six-four impala is right fucking there. The rims were shiny, the reflection of the moon laid peacefully on the chrome bumpers. The car was painted light brown. The hydraulics were painted blue and before I was done appreciating the beauty of the car Mario had already found a rock to break the window.

“Aye bro, nah. That’s so high key.” I remember saying to him.

“Don’t be a pussy.” he said to me.

“This ain’t our hood Maury. Can’t be fucking around.” I tried to convince him. I thought he had a plan. “How are you supposed to turn it on?”

“Hot wire it, nigga.”

“Nigga, cause you know how to hotwire a fucking car.” I replied.

Mario walked to the driver's side of the car and looked in. I stood a few feet in front of the head lights. He took his cowboy hoodie off and wrapped the rock around it. Lucky bastard broke the window off on the first try.

“Get in, bro. Here you go,” he said as he handed me what it seemed to be a 9 mm. I was first to jump inside the car. Went through the driver's side and slid to the passenger side. I don’t know for how long I turned behind my shoulder to see if anyone was coming from behind us but when I turned around to face forward, Mario was already on Drive mode. Talk about a rush. Nothing like it. At age 17, that shit’s better than sex, man. You feel like a giant amongst men. You feel like a wildfire around a bunch of dry weeds. Unstoppable. Until something bigger than you comes. Everything that goes up must come down, right?

“Dawg, I think I dropped my sweater back there,” he said, “Fuck it.”

Mario never told me the aftermath of the carjack with the gang. Two days after new years, I was kicking it with Tripple. The homeboy I told you about at the beginning. He was a crip too. His dad was a main head. We were smoking a cigarette in the patio of my apartment watching people walk by. Chill mode, no danger, everyone knows each other in the Projects.

“You heard about lil Maury, bro?” he opened.

“Nah, partied with him on new years. He went home with some bitch and I just came back home.”

“Remember the wheels that nigga stole?” he said.

“No shit. I was there with him.” I replied without hesitation to look hard.

“So my dad had beef with this OG from wilmas blood gang. Follow this shit though. They had squashed it about three months ago. Now, Mario left or dropped his bright ass blue sweater at that niggas porch. When my dad asked Mario if he had done it, which we all know he’s the only dumb ass that goes for the cowboys, he said nah. He said, he had stolen that shit from somewhere in LA.”

“So…” I didn’t want to assume what was going to happen to Mario.

“My pops is going to send him on a mission to prove himself a real gangster.”

“This foo just stole a car from an OG. What else does your dad want?” I was scared.

“Yeah, but he fucking lied. He’s a got to stab a motherfucker.” Tripple said this quietly as if his intention was not too make me worry. He had his head down because he knew this was going to affect me too.

“You can’t get him out of it?” I asked him without trying to sound like I was begging. My lips were the only warm part of my body because of the cigarette. My voice was all I could use at the moment.

Tripple looked at me in the eye and I noticed his eyes take note of my facial expression. He raised his eyebrows and said, “I already did. He was supposed to go shoot at some cops. Mario told him to send him out to do some shit so that he could prove to him, to my pops, he could be a main head.”

“Fuck, bro. Alright, thanks for the heads up.” That’s exactly what it was. A warning for me to be ready when Mario calls. Mario, always with the extra shit.

“I’ll be there too, homie. My dad wants me to make sure everything goes smooth.” Tripple said as he took a few steps away from me to crush his cigarette butt on the ground.

That must’ve happened around three p.m. because my mom wasn’t back from work yet. I remember I waited for Mario’s call all day. When he didn’t hit me up by ten at night, I decided to smoke a joint with my mom to release some stress and knock out. Even though it was a weekend, I didn’t feel like turning up. I remember that feeling of insecurity.

My mom woke me up that same night around one a.m. telling me Mario was on the phone. I got up and asked him what’s up. He knew that I knew because he was with Tripple already. I grabbed my knife, the same one as always. I dressed all in black and waited for them to come through.

It takes five minutes to walk from Mario’s house to mine. These dudes made it in like 2 minutes, I remember. This is how I knew they were nervous as fuck.

I ain’t no crip, but still our handshake was and then we walked through and out of our hood. There were a few parties poppin off. This was no time to fuck around though. Don’t matter how cool or how close you think you are to your crip gang. This needed to happen. If Mario didn’t come through, man. Crip motherfuckers, back in the day, were the real deal. They gave no fucks, they were violent and proud of it. Who knows where Mario was going to end up if he didn’t pull through this one.

Tripple suggested we got some forties and pack a few bowls before we acted on anything. So Tripple already had weed. So just like the old days, we walk to a liquor store and Mario goes in distracting the cashier by buying swishers to roll blunts and I went stealing some forties.

We walked a few blocks and everything seemed so alive, everyone was partying. It was the weekend after new years. It was going to be hard to keep all this shit low key so we decided to post up on top of the bathroom building inside the Cesar Chavez Park. Yup, the same place Mario and I used to go run to first after ditching elementary. Doors were always open because of crackheads breaking in to sleep in there. This was like five miles off of our crib.

We started cracking jokes, we started sipping on our forties and we never really talked about why we were doing this. It was part of our life, this was normal in our hood. We were those niggas doing dirt shit in the middle of the night. We were the reason people locked their doors that night.

I don’t remember the time but I do remember the streets started getting quieter. Less and less bodies were seen on the sidewalk. Car lights started to disappear and we all knew why we were there. We stood up on the edge of this two story building and posted like alligators waiting for prey to step into our swamp.

About twenty minutes went by and I remember checking my watch then. 1: 45 a.m.

Everything seemed blurry. All three of us were pretty much crossfaded. The building felt ten stories high and I remember stepping back from the ledge. Tripple was looking down. His vision was stuck on something down there, or maybe he was just drunk but I was paying more attention to Mario. His toes were in the air, his heels balancing his whole body on the edge of the building. Always making everything more dangerous than it has to.

“There. White sweater.” Mario said to himself.

“Let’s go kid. Now you got your chance to be raw.” Tripple said. “I can’t tell if it’s a guy or a girl.”

Any other day we would’ve laughed but not today.

“You’re going to wait here, Mario.” Tripple said while handing him his knife. “I’ll bring him up here, we can’t do it down there in the street.”

This wasn’t Tripple's fight but the drugs and alcohol added to his bravery. Truth is, he knew Mario couldn’t fight someone bigger than him too well. Specially if he had to drag them upstairs.

“He’s right.” I added to the fear in all of us, “too high key.”

Tripple took his sweater off halfway. His arms were still in to use it as a choke around the dudes neck and drag him up. I was surprised they didn’t ask for my help. I don’t think I could’ve done it. I was fucked up. We were all fucked up.

While Tripple went down and got the dude. Mario didn’t take his sight off the fire escape exit on top of the building. I couldn’t intervene because I knew this wasn’t my fight.

To my surprise, Tripple walked up without making any unnecessary sounds while holding the body on a chokehold. The top half was covered with his sweater and the bottom half was naked. It wasn’t a dude.

We all laughed as if this was a bigger victory. Only because we knew how easy everything was going to go.

“Give me your best shot, right here baby, right here.” Tripple whispered at Mario while pointing at this poor girl's head.

We fucked her up.

I remember kicking her ribs and seeing Tripple’s sweater caving in on an opening. That was probably her mouth trying to grasp for air. She tried screaming but she had no chance.

Tripple was the first one to take his pants off and go for it. I remember grabbing my forty and spilling beer on the girl's head. Mario wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how good it was going to feel to stab a bitch.

Mario went second. This wasn’t the first time I saw Mario in action. I do think that was the first time Mario felt important and bad ass. He was closer to scar face now, more than ever.

Mario kept on getting the knife he had in his hand closer to this bitch’s neck.

I said, “Fuck that nigga. This bitch can recognize our voice. I say we fucking shoot her.”

“Fuck yeah,” Mario looked at me and continued “I’m shooting this bitch in the fucking face.”

He mentioned something about real gangsters looking at you in the eye while they shoot you between them.

Tripple went ahead and took his bloody sweater back. I remember it looked purple during night time. Must’ve been the beer, the girls saliva and her tears that made the blue turn darker.

But what Mario saw made him start to cringe and stutter because he was staring into the eyes of his own sister. She looked back at him and cried. She cried more painfully, than when they were raping her.

Mario fucking lost it and took his own gun to his own head. I didn’t try to stop him neither did Tripple. He fell to his knees and looked up to the sky but I don’t think there was nothing there for him.

He shot himself through the left eye. I remember looking down at the back of his head and the heat of the bullet left it looking like the top of a chimney. Everything was dark, the smoke got in my nose and till this day, I still can’t describe that smell. All I knew was that the only man I had ever trusted was dead. I might’ve not had a father or blood siblings but this guy Mario was all I had. I had to take care of his legacy, I needed to make sure his name wasn’t put down.

I remember getting off my ass and taking the gun out of Mario’s hand. My fingertips felt the freezing chrome through my black gloves. I looked at his sister without trying to make eye contact, and I don’t know why but she didn’t beg, she didn’t ask why, like, she just knew I was meant to kill her. The power of the gun forced me to close my eyes. I heard her body land. I opened my eyes and she bled the same color he did.

Tripple took the gun from me and ran down stairs. I handed it to him, honestly. I didn’t need it anymore. This wasn’t me. For the first time, I felt like I did the right thing. I felt like I did someone a real favor. That night, it wasn’t just three of us. The devil followed us. I thought about the chances of this happening. This no crip plan, nobody wanted to hurt his little sister. The fact that a nigga like me didn’t know much about her, was strange. Strangeness, the good kind cause that meant she didn’t fuck with the wrong crowd. She didn’t deserve this, but she had to die so Mario could take himself out and I would be on death sentence twenty years later.

Tripple and I kept our distance for some time. No cops wanted information, nobody gave a shit. Times had changed. I thought these were the things people paid attention to instead of paying attention to two second graders on a bus.

I didn’t go to Mario’s funeral. I was told people were saying he was walking his sister back home from a party when they both got attacked by either a gang or a robber. I always responded that it sounded like something Mario would do.

Tripple died during a drive by a few years ago. I didn’t care as much. It just reminded me of Mario.

“Son, and you are telling me all this because?”

Cause I never could come back from that, Priest. I’ve been inside these same four walls for a couple years now. But I know, I damn well know, that God is making me pay for what I didn’t pay before.

“Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

I don’t know what death feels like priest, so why should I be?

“You have less than twenty four hours to live, and you chose to ask for forgiveness on something you did more than twenty years ago?”

Nah, the electric chair don’t forgive. You think you can forgive, priest. I don’t know if God is going to forgive but there’s nothing better than living with peace of mind, even if it’s just for a few hours.

“I’m glad you did it, son.”

Tell her that I miss him, tell her that I never had any other best friend than Mario. But also tell her we didn’t know what we was doing. Tell her by the time she gets this, I’ll be wherever I deserve to be. I loved Mario like a brother, and for that, for that simple reason, I want her to know the truth. She deserves it.

“When she asks about what happened?”

You tell her the truth, I fucked up, I couldn’t go back to my life without Mario, after what I did. The gang life took over and I just did too much fucked up shit, enough to deserve to die.

“Are you sure?”

Fuck yeah, she doesn’t need any more bullshit into her life. Go ahead and tell her I killed random niggas’ families for a living. Tell her I stayed on selling drugs and making money on the block. Tell her I needed to live Mario’s dream, and I did. Tell her, that wherever it is that people like us go after death, I’ll see Mario and I’ll tell him about all the scarface life shit I did.

“Take care, son. I swear on the cross that hangs on my neck that I’ll take care of this. God and everyone involved in this thanks you for making this your last wish.”

Thank you.

“In the name of the Father…”

The Son. The Holy Spirit.

“May the devil no longer follow you.”

Amen.

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soyoureviewhiphoptoo · 7 years

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Soundtrack of the Week 24/08/2017

It is time for the Soundtrack of the Week, the SYRHHT blog segment where I discuss latest music releases and other projects that I listen to over the space of 7 days. So, here is the Soundtrack!

ALBUM (EP)

Dave East- Paranoia: A True Story Released: August 18, 2017 Label: Def Jam Recordings and Mass Appeal Records

As I have made very clear on this blog, Dave East has become one of my favourite rappers in the new age of hip hop (he has just overtaken Vince Staples as the artist who has been given the most mentions on a Soundtrack with 3 individual entries). Following the release of his acclaimed mixtape Kairi Chanel last year, Dave East gives us Paranoia: A True Story, an EP that acts as a prelude to his debut studio album for Def Jam. As prelude EPs go, I was worried that this would be a similar situation to Vic Mensa’s Manuscript which only had four songs to act as a prelude to his debut album The Autobiography (two projects I do want to hear but have yet to). Interestingly, even with three skits and one interlude, Paranoia is still quite stacked with nine songs to warm us up for the pending album.

Once you overlook the four aforementioned filler tracks, Dave East shows off once again what has gotten him this far; raw lyricism and vivid storytelling. Setting the scene with the opening track Paranoia, Dave illustrates the mindset he has become accustomed to; paranoia over the people around him as they might be trying to steal from him or see to it that he ends up in prison. In the life he leads on the streets or even as an up-and-coming artist, it is hard to see who to trust and it is easy to become paranoid. The feeling of paranoia is further explored on standout songs The Hated (which illustrates the story of 2 drug dealers) and Phone Jumpin’ (which features Wiz Khalifa and samples Busta Rhymes- Gimme Some More which was amazing btw). In general, he sticks to what he does great, strong and lyrical showings about urban life in Harlem hoods.

This EP also has the softer songs for the ladies that are marketed as the lead singles. The first of them is Perfect featuring Chris Brown, which was talked about earlier this month on a Soundtrack but another song that is looking to gain some traction in the mainstream is My Dirty Little Secret. This song illustrates yet another story about a girl that East is getting with.

She really my type because she think love is boring I don’t know if it’s the jewelry or the cash That made her respond to me so fast She ain’t never asked me nothin’ ‘bout my past

Taken from My Dirty Little Secret Even within this love story, those feelings of paranoia are still prevalent.

Like this the shorty, you been talking bout and showing us I’m growing up, no more Keisha’s nigga I’m blowing up I don’t trust her enough to pass the weed I be rolling up

Taken from My Dirty Little Secret What is immediately interesting is that he makes direct reference to a previous song his, Keisha where he was just sleeping around but now he is looking to settle down and yet that last line brings everything back to the paranoia.

This song shows the story of East meeting a girl but what is interesting here is the constant cognitive dissonance that is present throughout the song. On one hand, he really likes her, wanting to spend all his time with her, wanting to make love to her and tell the world about her and yet on the other hand, he is viewing her as just a another girl he should not really care for, constantly thinking she just be using him for his riches.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed Paranoia: A True Story. It is a strong showing of his storytelling abilities and gives us hope towards his debut album that will be coming next year. I openly recommend everyone to listen to this project.

RATINGS

Concept: 3/5 Production: 4/5 Lyrical Content: 4.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 4/5 Repeatability: 4/5 Did I enjoy this project? Yes, I did Songs to Recommend? Paranoia, The Hated, Phone Jumpin, Dirty Little Secret and Found A Way

Final Rating: 3.9/5

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Dave East- My Dirty Little Secret

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Dave East- The Hated The third track of the album, Dave East tells the story of two friends, Anthony and Cory as they grew up and found themselves in the dangerous and frivolous lifestyle brought about from drug dealing. A story filled with expensive spending, imprisonment, gang beef, betrayal and so much more.

MIXTAPE

A$AP Ferg- Still Striving Released: August 18, 2017 Label: ASAP Worldwide, Polo Grounds Music and RCA Records

If I wrote on here that Ferg was the best artist to come out of the A$AP Mob, would you believe me? It is something that you can genuinely argue and question. While A$AP Rocky has had the most success of the New York rap group and is the reason a lot of people know of the Mob in the first place, A$AP Ferg has definitely risen right behind his friend. With the release of the well-received Trap Lord in 2013, Ferg has been on a rise in the rap industry. His follow-up album Always Strive and Prosper illustrated the changes he has explored stylistically, utilising a wider range of instrumentation and more polished production. In my mind, Ferg has a strong grasp of modern trends in hip-hop and is easily able to adapt himself to fit the trends without giving up his artistic integrity, staying true to the unique style that brought him fame in the first place.

This mixtape, Still Striving is a strong showing of Ferg utilising the current wave of hip-hop. On this mixtape, Ferg has MANY FEATURES. With Meek Mill, Cam'ron, Dave East, Lil Yachty, Nav, Famous Dex, Playboi Carti, Kid, Migos, A$AP Rocky, MadeinTYO, Busta Rhymes, French Montana, Rick Ross and Snoop Dogg, Ferg uses the variety of sounds to his fullest advantage.

Now here’s where the issue with this mixtape lies; your enjoyment of this mixtape weighs heavily upon your feelings of some of the younger rappers he has featured. Ferg holds down every song he is on, giving us his strong lyricism over his exuberant, trap-influenced flow but you might switch off immediately once you hear someone else start spitting overly simplistic lyrics, with reliance on auto-tune or ad-libs. While I can say that East Coast Remix is the best song in terms of featured artists (read the Soundtrack from last week for my in-depth “analysis” of the song), Trap and a Dream featuring Meek Mill and Olympian featuring Dave East are strong standout tracks; these two rappers are very similar to Ferg stylistically so their respective chemistries are very clear. Funny enough though, while only three of the fourteen tracks have no features at all, they are also some of Ferg’s stronger verses on the project.

While Still Striving brings up some decent songs to listen to for the moment, it is probably worth waiting for A$AP Ferg’s next studio album to hear him rap to the fullest.

RATINGS

Concept: 2/5 Production: 3.5/5 Lyrical Content: 3.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 4/5 Repeatability: 3/5 Did I enjoy this project? I did but it was hard at times Songs to Recommend? Trap and A Dream, East Coast Remix, Nandos, Rubberband Man and Olympian

Final Rating: 3.1/5

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A$AP Ferg- Nandos One of the songs on the mixtape without any features. It is named after a chain restaurant here in the UK that specialises in chicken (random, I know). The song is an upbeat recollection of Ferg thinking about a time he and his friends were struggling to eat now that those days are far behind him. It is a standout track in my mind and is a good showing of Ferg’s use of the trap style.

SONG

Princess Nokia- G.O.A.T Released: June 28, 2017 Label: Rough Trade Records

The great thing about the internet is that millions of people are sharing around music every day and you can find something you have never heard of and immediately love it. This song is an example of that for me.The New York M.C. known as Princess Nokia has been making music since 2010, previously under the name of Wavy Spice (the lost member of the Spice Girls?). Gaining fans through her Soundcloud and YouTube early on in the decade and being apart of the group Ratking, she recently made waves with her EP 1992 and loose singles such as Brujas and G.O.A.T

From the very little I’ve read up on her so far, I see her as a representation of a millennial raised in the internet era; openly embracing intersectionality as she is a kaleidoscope of personalities and identities within a single being. Makes this song, G.O.A.T stand out is the lyrics.

Hate to burst your bubble, bitch I’m that weird girl that’s runnin’ shit I’m a boss bitch runnin’ big shit Got a company, need a couple mil’ Ain’t no rap talk, this my real life And that’s on God, I almost died twice

Opening lines of G.O.A.T

Off the bat, she challenges rap norms by calling herself a weird girl that is still a bad bitch who has been in two different near-death experiences (getting shot at close range when she was 17 and having a lighter explode in her face); we often have two different images of a “bad bitch” and a “weird girl” especially in this hip-hop culture, thinking they are two different entities and cannot be the same but of course, Nokia contradicts that belief. Throughout the song, she will go on to contradict the view of what a female rapper should be. In this song, Princess Nokia tells us that she is a bi-racial, mosh-pitting, intersectional feminist skater chick without curves who likes to watch anime, play with toys, go on MySpace, the film Clueless and OG Southern female rappers like Gangsta Boo, La Chat and Princess Loco….who just so happens to be a rapper. If you compare her to rappers in the mainstream right now (not just female rappers at this point), you probably won’t find a lot of rappers remotely similar.

I change rap forever, man It’s me who had the biggest plan Ain’t no average bitch, I’ve been the man I’ve been the G.O.A.T, eatin’ off the land

Princess Nokia is one of the more unique and intriguing people who happen to be a rapper I have seen in a while and honestly, I am hooked. Her EP 1992 is going to be reissued as an album with G.O.A.T and five other songs added to the tracklist; needless to say, I will be listening.

Honestly, G.O.A.T will go down as one of my favourite songs of 2017 and it is looking like I am going to become a Princess Nokia fan.

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