#that seems like so long ago even tho its not even 2 months lol

[kreauxlighe]

20 questions for writers!

i got tagged by @mangatxt forever ago and have kept meaning to come back to this so here we are! i'm gonna tag @northisnotup and @sleepdepravity! no pressure of course tho! i took like.. a month to get to this lol

answers below the cuuuuut

How many works do you have on AO3? 37!

What's your total AO3 word count? 355,420

What fandoms do you write for? mp100 & good omens! (I choose to believe I will go back to those gomens fics..)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I'm gonna cheat and separate these by fandom but i'll do the top 3 instead as a compromise Good Omens: - Forever Is Composed of Nows (1.7k holyshit) - The God Below (723) - File Corrupted (686) MP100 - Study Session (NSFW!) (186) - Inventory Updated (NSFW!) (145) - Reigen 1/2 (143) tbh i think looking at a fic's hits & bookmarks are more indicative of their popularity. a fic could have 10 kudos and like hundreds of hits. ppl keep coming back to that one for a reason yknow? (i know this is skewed by like multipchaps and stuff but idk, something i think about)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! I try to respond to every comment, even if it's just a 'thanks so much' cause i really do appreciate them all! sometimes I get behind or feel guilty about not having updated or like, feel guilty that i left a longer response to someone else. I just overthink it a lot really lol

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oooo I think all my fics have happy endings? there's a lot of angst between and pain but the ending tends to be happy! altho i do have plans for a mcd mp100 fic and i'm not sure how that one will end.. probably happy but considering the mcd maybe more.. bittersweet? iunno! I guess of my currently published ones the angstiest ending is this Castlevania drabble! It's .. several years old now and probably not very good but hey, growth!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ohgosh uuuuhhh probably The God Below?? They all have happy endings but I think that one feels maybe the most rewarding because (at least for me) for a long time it didnt really seem possible FOR it to end happy. Very much how are they gonna get out of this? And not only do they get out of it but there's some surprise happiness too!

Do you get hate on fics? thankfully no and pls i hope it stays that way i am. so smol. i WILL cry that being said i am a HUGE supporter of like, ppl should be allowed to say 'i dont like this / this thing sucks' just like, not in my comments lol take it to discord or groupchats or wherever, cause i do think readers should be able and allowed to have space to complain about a thing (whether that's Actual Critique or just full on bashing). just dont do it direclty in front of my salad me plsthanks

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? so much smut. sooo much smut. its kind of funny basically all of my mp100 stuff is smut and there was a time where i was like, anxious about writing even heated kiss scenes! i think?? i'm best known for like, loving filth?? like these guys gonna fuck nasty but also wow theyre so in love its almost more filthy than whats actually happening (almost) but i'll write all kinds. i like silly moments in smut, i like the inherent vulnerability that comes with that. also monster sex. i should write more of that

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? not really! altho i have an idea for a Underworld X Resident Evil crossover! i poke the concept every so often. I could make it work i KNOW i can and i KNOW it'd be good too is the thing. it'd fuckin WORK. i mean *gestures vaguely to the movies, the animated movies, the GAMES, the ... live action res tv series* don't talk to me about it, i'm still so hurt. (no DO talk to me about it we COULDVE HAD IT ALL! anyway..) oh yknow what i think i do write crossovers?? but like, less characters from A meet characters from B and more characters from A are thrown into the setting / world of characters B, or the general vibes? So i guess Reigen 1/2 would be considered a crossover huh? I also have a space western one that's hugely based off Outlaw Star, at least to start 🤔 maybe i DO write crossovers! [shockedpikachu.gif]

Have you ever had a fic stolen? unfortunately yes. it was (as far as i know) resolved though. i was so heartbroken over it i never actually checked to see if they kept their word and made the changes they said they would

Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of! i have had a fic bound tho!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? hmmmm i think so! Not in a traditional sense of like you write this and i write that but Gaymer AU ( yes it's REAL i promise it's REAL) is largely cocreated and brainstormed and just, would not exist without @crownorclover! and omamori feels very co-written with them too as well! oh i also am working on a sequel to the god below via an rp with my pal @garmrr! it's on a bit of a hiatus right now but that's v much co-writing!

What's your all-time favourite ship? man if you'd asked me this a year ago i would've said azicrow but here we are in the serirei trenches. I think there's still a LOT i love about azicrow and what you can do with them as a writer but there's something about serirei and how mundane they are (or try to be). my most recent azicrow fic was a human au so i think already i was seeking out that sort of point of connection and relation? and theres something about the overall themes of mp100 and how deeply flawed all of these characters are that really appeals to me. reigen and serizawa are not perfect people, in many ways they're not even GOOD people (they get there though) and its the getting there and the exploration of that that really appeals to me i think

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? hmm im not sure there is one? in terms of my fanfic, anything that's posted and unfinished i truly believe i WILL finish. idk when, but i will. I dont start posting a fic unless i know exactly how it's going to end and i want to share that ending with readers. I have some OG concepts that may not get finished in their original intent but might get frankensteined into other things!

What are your writing strengths? dialogue, for sure. I think? fjdklajfk i said that a little too confidently and doubted myself but no I do think dialogue is one of my strengths! that and grounded angst. i think i'm good at writing angst that feels like it has weight to it, like it has actual stakes, and how that affects the characters. also world-building! i dont really get to flex it as much in modern settings but i have some scifi and urban fantasy WIPs in the pipeline and im SO STOKED

What are your writing weaknesses? man writing shorter works. ive gotten a LOT better at it this year! writing all the lil mp100 drabbles helped a lot in teaching me how to embrace just like, sometimes it can be a lil scene, it doenst have to be a whole thing, you dont HAVE to create the surrounding world. and that in and of itself is a fun challenge in learning how to make something feel immersive even though it's essentially a snapshot of a nonexistent world. I say i've gotten better but yesterday i did start brainstorming another massive longfic so like. we out here

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i try to avoid it unless i'm really confident in my usage and the context, if i can get someone to triple check. i used a one-off sentence in spanish in another fic and it was v simple and the character himself wasn't fluent so like, i felt like i could get away with it. with mp100 i notice there's often times when certain things are referred to by their japanese names and that seems to be kind of the standard? so im experimenting with embracing that but it feels weird tbh. like should i put 'konbini' or just call it the corner store lol of course this isn't dialogue and is in the narrative itself so im not actually answering the question! oops

First fandom you wrote for? believe it or not ive only been writing fanfic for *checks ao3* 4ish years? altho i grew up as a fan of shows and had my faves and my ships i never actually participated in fandom spaces until good omens. The first fic i wrote was in 2018 (the only fic i wrote that year) and it was for the castlevania anime lol i'd been writing OG fic for years and years and years before that though

Favourite fic you've ever written? awgeez this is a tough one... i know Forever is the most popular by kudos but i think that has a lot to do with the time it was being posted (v early following the release of s1, a lot of hype) and it was my first major writing project in a long time as i'd taken a break from writing. so there's parts of it i'd def do differently now The god below is definitely up there in terms of one that i had a lot of fun with and sort of re-learned how to have fun with writing and just.. do what i want, because i want to. and that's okay! i love the world i created for that fic so much. surprisingly i was very insecure about it when writing it. i didnt think it was very good or that people would like it and its my second most popular fic, has been bound by two different people, and had a podfic like.. i did something right with that one and i think it was embracing the unknown and doing a thing (narrative, worldbuilding, plot twist) when the sole reason was 'cause i wanna' a fic i'm most proud of is probably Scar Tissue (good omens) it has MASSIVE cws for self-harm and drug abuse, and it's written for a fandom (Slow Show) WITHIN a fandom (good omens) so it's not going to make a lot of sense if you havent read slow show but.. god that fic was really, really personal and it has some of the best lines of narrative i think i've ever written Lonely and ramshackle heart (good omens) also ranks up there as one im really happy with because it gave me an opportunity to explore trauma in a way i wasn't really seeing done in fic. it is one of those unfinished WIPs i think about all the time though and i really hope to finish it

i'm also working on vampau (mp100) again and the worldbuilding for that is something i'm OBSESSED with and am having SO MUCH fun and i think its an example of me taking what i learned with TGB and my OG fic, in doing what i want and having fun with it, and really pushing that as far as i can while ALSO working really hard to make it feel real and grounded. idk if im succeeding, yall will have to tell me when it drops lol

tada!

holycrap you made it this far??? wow! 🎉 i love love love talking about writing and the craft (obviously, this post is massive) and if you read this far you maybe like reading about it? so yknow, feel free to ask more questions!

#writing #tag game #my writing #writeblr #20 questions

[diggity-bomb]

Now that I know I have an audience I would like to say this.

You guys use people. Simple. You guys are so afraid to be alone that you find someone to give you the attention you guys always crave for. If you deny this you guys are more delusional than I thought.

Especially you. You used me so much for years. The most codependent person I have ever met. Again, I know for a fact you will twist it around but lets go back to your actions. Someone left you. You reached out to people that you knew would forgive and forget. I should have learned my lesson. Then you did the same thing to me years ago 2x in one year. Just moving on to the next. Still after everything that happened to you recently you still don't know how to be a proper friend. Pretty talented honestly.

You never take any sort of accountability for your actions when you hurt others. Something you need to learn is actions speak louder than words. Just bc its fancy big words doesn't make it right for what you did.

Two things you need to learn 1. to be independent. Find yourself. And 2. practice what you preach. Take accountability and apologize when you hurt others. If you think that you can justify your actions and think whatever you did to hurt this person doesn't need your sincere apology it shows how selfish you are. (oh wait you never apologize to me ever)

You. Grow up. I'm sorry you hate yourself so much that you have to hurt the people around you to make yourself feel better. You can believe whatever you want to think that I was so awful to you or ruined your life blah blah blah. We both know all the things I did for you. I really appreciated you but should have known.

Now you. I want you to never think you are ever a good friend to anyone ever. I never want to hear you say I hurt you while you failed to speak the fuck up about your emotions or big feelings. Whatever excuse you have its exactly that, an excuse.

Yes, you were there for me when I was in a very toxic relationship where he pushed me to the point where I lost a lot of my friends. Grateful for that you were a friend. Or I thought so.

Its crazy to me that you made our friendship seem like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. When I believe we pushed each to be better people. You helped me through my awful relationship and I helped you learn to become an adult.

And whats crazy to me is you fucked me over so hard in so many different ways in the span of I want to say 4 months and we were friends for 7 years.

I guess when you get laid for the first time you are like a lost puppy and will just follow and listen to your owner whatever they say. (I would know I stayed with someone way too long bc they were my first) crazy it seems like there is a pattern here...

Anywho.... you fucking kept secrets from me, talked shit behind my back, told people you were just telling me what I want to hear, you never spoke up even tho I know you didn't agree with your owner, and you stabbed me in the back.

Then when it came to we say our peace you basically said you only are doing this so you can hang out with them together. Like think about that for a good second you are so fucking whipped and selfish for doing that. I was basically like not a human to you.

I sure as hell hope you start trying to become an adult. Get your shit together. Hang around people above the age of 25. Work actually full time and not leave early or bitch about it. Move out, pay rent, pay bills, you know adult things. Think about it, you are reaching a big number and I know you got some big feelings for that. Do some action, like genuinely grow up.

Now I know "omg she is playing victim like always" lol. I have always took accountability for my actions and apologized if it hurt you. Did I explain my reasoning for these actions yes. But i'm not using it as excuse its so you have better understanding. And guess what I did apologize for these certain actions. I know my problems and issues and I know that its going to take time to reach the goal so they can go away.

I hope one thing that gets taken away from this is learn to put yourself in other people shoes. I have done that with every single one of you and didn't care to do so with me.

Well I hope you asshats the best.

Grow up and get a life. (:

#personal

[castleofshit]

Hey, I like your harp videos. I play the harp, too and have been looking for harp stuff on tumblr to get inspired. What do you like about the harp? How long have you been playing? Do you take lessons? Anyway, hopefully this isn’t too creepy. Happy playing!

Hi!!! Harp players on tumblr rise up dvtdgfd. Seems like there's not a lot of us UnU

My brain likes organization so im responding to this in a numbered list UuU

1. Things i like about the harp: the range and honestly the vibe. I got into it in elementary school bc i thought it looked cool and welp that hasn't changed! Even though reading base and treble is a love hate relationship once that flow is achieved its really fun and i enjoy that too :)

2. I started learning how to play about 10 years ago but I haven't been playing for a decade lol. I took lessons for about 6 of those years but was VERY undisciplined in practice so I never advanced in skill much. For the 4 years after that I'd pick on a wire harp I got second hand every couple months when I'd remember "oh yeah i can play the harp" til September of this year (2023) when post Life Events I decided I needed to pick up a hobby that occupise my full brain and I had the funds to actually invest in a second hand 36(?)ish string lever harp. My practice is still iffy tho :P

3. I don't currently take lessons but I remember a few key points from when I did. (Like don't take my hands too far when repositioning). The lady I bought my folk from also gave me Quite A Few sheet music sets and books to ease me back into it. Sylvia Woods self teaching book is honestly a god send. Some stuff I find online too. I don't really use youtube for teaching persay but historic harp people on there did honestly arm me with a lot of info that made me enjoy my kinda eh wire harp a lot more than i used to.

If you ever wanna talk harp just lmk!!!

#I :V #harp log #just for fun :3

[xpiester333x]

Must Plays 2023

Because last year my resolution was to play through as much of my backlog as possible (and frankly I killed it). This year I have a similar goal, but I also have a list of games I really want to play through in the year 2023. It may not be possible to get through them all (there are several long ones here) but I'm going to do my best!

Persona 3 Portable - Since I played through 4 and 5 in 2022 it only seems fair to play through 3 this year. Also because its one of the games that got me into games way back in the day... but I never did really finish it lol

Hades - I've heard so much about it and it's always been on my wishlist but I kept putting it off. Well I got it for Christmas so it's time.

Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne - Because I started it when the remaster came out and then never finished it. It's time to finish it. And also for the same reason as P3.

Shin Megami Tensei 5 - Because I bought it on release and LOVED it but then Endwalker came out a month later so I... never finished.

Dragon Age Inquisition - I have owned this game since 2015 when I built my computer. I bought it because I LOVED Origins and was excited to play it and then I never did. So this is the year.

Final Fantasy 16 - It's not even released yet but I need it and I am going to play it.

Persona 5 Royal - I know I just played Persona 5 but hey it was the best game I've ever played and I HAVE to play Royal.

Undertale - Another game I have owned forever but I just met too many people who annoyed me and were also obsessed with Undertale and I inadvertently gave it a bad association that way. I'm going to put that prejudice aside though and give it a real play this year.

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs - Because I've owned it forever and never played it

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - I actually did start to play this one about 4 years ago and then just stopped (it was a bad habit of mine) so round 2.

Code Vein - tbh I don't even know if I'm going to like this game but I was gifted it and my friends who have played swear its worth it so I'm hoping to try it this year.

Harvestella - I was gifted it for Christmas. I'm definitely interested in playing it but I wasn't interested enough to buy it for myself? But I am looking forward to it.

Nier: Automata - Because I have no excuse as to why I haven;t finished this lol

Dragon's Dogma - I have played this. Three times. But its been several years and I'm ready for a replay.

Persona 4 Golden - I know I just played this recently but I have a need to play with a guide and max out more SLs for the stories and achievements.

Darkwood - This game gave me the absolute worst scare of my entire horror loving career and I loved it. But I wasn't in a good mental state when I was trying to play it last year and I had to give up on it. I think this year I'm in a much better place and I would love to finish it.

GRIS - This is an atmospheric puzzle platformer I played briefly a couple of years ago and then never finished (do you see the pattern now). It probably won't take long at all to finish and I would like to make that a goal this year.

Inscryption - Because you can only dodge spoilers on a game like this so long and I want to play it for myself before I see too much about it.

Fran Bow - A great game I ALMOST finished and then didn't

Spiritfarer - I put like 40 hours into this game on my switch... then got mad at the crystal dragon and quit. I have the Farewell Edition on PC so I think I would like to re-do the game (its worth a replay anyway) and actually finish it.

And that's it for now... Just 20 games... with a combined total playtime of 34 days and 15 hours (not including FFXVI since we don't know how long it will be. I would guess at MINIMUM 40 hours tho so... tack on a few more days lol.)

I don't know how possible it will be to finish them all. I may also decide I want to play a game not listed and fall off track. But wish me luck and I'll let you know how it went in 2024!

#video games #easy as pie #pie plays #personal

[comphetforreal]

my post for the april tc challenge by @morethanwords0475

im putting all the days in one post for my own convenience and will edit the post to add more days :)

also some questions i didn’t rlly have an answer for so i just deleted them lol

Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC?

with T she has been my spanish teacher since year 7 and she’s always been amazing, i’ve always been the kind of teachers pet / try hard in her class but she’s always known i love learning spanish and work rlly hard at it :D

with M actually when he joined the school (only this year) everyone was like omg he’s so fit and i was like he is the most plain ass average man i’ve ever seen

then my best friend acc got a crush on him and for ages i didn’t get it?? partially bcos i don’t like men /r yk but after properly meeting him and also hearing about what he’s like i’ve realised his appeal isn’t his looks he’s just genuinely an amazing teacher and rlly nice person :(( sorry that was long but yeah

with R everyone saw him and went yeah that guy has kids in his basement, like /j but he does give mad like serial killer vibes he’s so scary fr

Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it?

spanish: YES i’m getting a 9 (A**) and i’ve loved it since i started learning it 10 years ago, i only got T in year 7 when i started secondary tho

chemistry: i’m getting a 7 (A) which seems good but my school is a grammar school so that’s just kinda average here yk? i am quite good i think but i still want to improve, i suppose i like it but it’s not my favourite thing ever

biology: R doesn’t teach me and i’ve never interacted w him in a biology setting but in getting a 6 (B) atm ://

i rlly wanna bring my grade up to a 7 for the real gcses so i’m studying a lot, i suppose i like it, i find it the best of the sciences because there’s the least maths involve yk 💀

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap?

idrc, idk the exact age gap for any of them and none of mine are romantic so thats not that big of a thing ig

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you?

T thinks im great fr, once i asked her about smth in a spanish book i was reading and she told me then went to the cupboard and got me another spanish book to read and she said just whenever i want i can borrow books from that cupboard to read B)

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first?

M HE FUCKING HE ALWAYS FIDDLES WITH HIS PENS AND LIKE ROCKS BACK AND FORTH ON HIS HEELS ITS SO CUTE

he also like adjusts his clothes a lot which is cute

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student?

no not rlly, sometimes T talks about like school in spain because shes from spain but thats it i suppose

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them?

SOBBING AND CRYING M HAS A WHOLE WIFEEEEE idk much abt her tho

same w T, she has a husband i think but she never speaks abt him

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them?

probs weeks/a month or two w summer holidays/half terms

Day 11: What do other people usually think about them?

nah everyone loves T she’s so nice and fun, even the kids that muck around in her lesson have usually said that she’s actually rlly nice and would teach them well if they acc tried in spanish yk

for M quite a few ppl in our year also have a bit of a thing for him (like 3?) but also most ppls opinion of him is that he’s rlly nice, before i met him that’s all ppl said about him, how like he was genuinely a nice teacher

for R i have heard a few others think he’s hot but most ppl are either terrified of him or make fun of him or both

Day 12: Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use?

no stopppp for M i so want to but i’m always too nervous, i’m considering when revising after school one day going to his room and asking if i can borrow a textbook for a bit to help w my revision but i’m scared like idk he’d say no or that would seem weird

i don’t make excuses to talk to T more than we do but already we talk a lot, i always put my hand up in class, if i’m unsure of smth she will come over and explain to me, sometimes after class if there’s smth abt spanish i need clarifying i’ll just stay behind for a minute and ask, i once even showed her the spanish novel i was reading, and she always says hola to all her students in the corridor which is nice and sometimes if the corridor isn’t busy she’ll stop to have a little conversation with me

Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about?

in general M is rlly passionate about like learning and you can tell he loves to help ppl learn it’s rlly sweet :)

Day 15: Which MBTI personality do you think they are? (If you don't do MBTI, which Hogwarts House do you think they would be in?)

none of these are based on like proper typing i just did these kinda quickly lol

M - ESFP

T - ESTP

R - ISTJ

Day 16: If you could go back in time and choose, would you still choose to develop feelings for your TC?

i just wish with M i started going to chem support sooner, i was going to start going back in december but 1) i was scared so only went to the ones my own chem teacher ran (not M) and 2) most after schools at the time i was having gcse drama rehearsals so i couldn’t acc go to chem support that often anyway but then even when rehearsals ended i just completely forgot those support sessions existed until now coz i was rlly stressed n stuff but yeah i think i would still wanna have feelings for him but just wish i did sooner so it wasn’t that i’m running out of time coz in less than two months my gcses are over and i’ve finished at that school, well lower school, i will be staying for sixth form but i am NOT doing chem a level lmao but yeah so i’ll still see him around ig

Day 17: If it was the last time you would ever be able to see your TC, what is one thing you would never leave without saying to them?

with M i would wanna thank him for helping me realise i’m not just stupid and that wish revision and hard work i rlly can improve, also that i can tell he just loves teaching his subject and his whole vibe and how genuinely nice he is, just to never change that for anyone and that he’s literally inspired me to do better

with T i would want to thank her for all the years of teaching me and how her lessons have always been a highlight of my day and how she is genuinely an amazing teacher

Day 18: When was the first time you cried because of them?

literally on monday this week (25/4) for M coz i think i posted abt it actually, but i genuinely thought i was just Bad At Chemistry and science in general and there was no hope of me getting better / understanding certain stuff but he really broke down everything and explained it and helped me and now i rlly do understand those topics so when i went home i got all emotional bcos he is such a good teacher and made me realise i’m not just stupid and that i can improve

i don’t think i’ve cried coz of any of the others tbh

Day 19: How well do you think you know them?

with T i think i know we pretty well but i haven’t had enough time with M or R to really get to know them

Day 20: Do you ever lie to them? About what?

no actually, with M i was honest when he asked if i had revised stuff / if i knew about smth at chem support

and with T again i’m honest if i don’t know something i’ll say, i’ll still try and answer but yk, but i usually know in spanish anyway

Day 21: What is the longest time you have spent together with them?

once R covered my english class so an hour? but that was my whole class, i’ve never been alone with him

T again mainly when she teaches me but also my after my speaking mock she talked me to for a bit just us which was nice coz they were running ahead of schedule

M <333 chemistry support <3 so like an hour and a half nearly and it was just us it was so nice

Day 22: If you have had other TCs in the past (or right now), how are they similar to or different from your current (or primary) TC?

no all of mine are like completely different fr it’s so weird

like M is super nice and so is T but R is SO SCARY and M and T are very different in other ways too

Day 23: Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around?

once on non uniform day M wore a BROWN T SHIRT AND JEANS it was SO UGLY i was so disappointed

sir please why couldn’t you have STYLE

i could fix him* *his wardrobe

Day 24: When was the last time they made your heart thump?

stoppp omg the other day when walking into assembly i made direct eye contact with M for a few seconds and afterwards my heart was beating so fast omg

Day 25: How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious?

i think T would be super understanding and nice tbh, i think she would be good at offering advice for most stuff, also if i was anxious about spanish exams/grades she would assure me im doing fine so :)

with M im not too sure coz like we arent close like at all coz he doesnt teach me but i think he would still be nice abt it

Day 26: What is the best dream you have had of them?

not the Best but the FUNNIEST dream i had was once i had a dream that i had to do ANOTHER dance practical gcse but i was the only one who had to??? and on practical gcse days we’d get to miss lessons but for some reason i had to go to chemistry and like i was running to my locker to get my chem book and i see M in a classroom and he comes out of the room and in a really scary way was like “Why Aren’t You In Lesson” and i was like um i have a dance gcse sir sorry sir and he was like “This Is Not Okay You Must Go To Your Lesson Now” and i was like okay sir sorry sir

then i went to chemistry (late) and i get to the door and knock and my normal teacher is in there teaching but M answers the door and i was like so sorry i’m late sir and he was like “That Is Not Okay Go To Your Seat Now”

it was weird bcos even tho my teacher was teaching, M AND R were BOTH supervising the lesson???? and R was being super nice it was like M and R had swapped personalities, then when i sat down i went to my friend “omg i think M hates me 😰😰”

then later M was like why are you wearing that and i was like for my dance gcse sir and he was like Oh

then i woke up it was very weird

Day 27: What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them?

i think the dream above counts as the scariest one as well tbh

Day 28: Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of?

not that i know of :(( but T does always say that our class is the best she's had in a long time so i like to think she has mentioned how good i am / how hard i try to other teachers

Day 29: Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you?

i think M would be such a romantic, i cant see the others being super overly romantic but i bet M would be the one to be all lovey dovey and sappy and do romantic gestures n stuff <33

#j says stuff #tc challenges #T #M #R

[once-upon-a-scenario]

Pretend: Overhaul/reader (Part 1)

You grew up with Chisaki Kai. Your duty is to protect and serve and care for him. You’re closer to him than anybody else in the Shie Hassaikai. The paradox is that sometimes- or maybe since forever ago- you feel as if you barely know him at all. (You still remember being overhauled.) (Part 2 coming...sometime! lol EDIT: Part 2!) Warning:  child abuse, abusive/dysfunctional relationships in general, violence, Chisaki Kai is his own warning, references to the Overhaul quirk and its gorier aspects Gosh it has been *so long* since I posted anything??? Thanks so much to anybody who’s still hanging around on this blog;;; feast your eyes on this bad boy tho, I’ve been working on it since literally last year and almost deleted it several times but couldn’t bring myself to! Here’s to hoping I actually finish it this time :,)  This fic is also on the darker side of the things I upload on this blog sooo pls do heed the warnings and read at your own risk ;-; -Mod Eve ______ “This is Kai.” The old man’s hand is warm and heavy on your shoulder. “I hope you both get along. Kai- be good to our new family.” You like the old man, the ‘’boss.’’ You haven’t been cold since he took you in. Hunger has become a temporary, rather than a constant thing, and you feel safe, there in the midst of these people with tattooed skin and sharp, strong gazes. But this boy has cold eyes. He stares at you long and hard with them as he nods, silent and unyielding. You shiver instinctively, leaning back into the shadows of the boss’ big, black coat. You do not want to get along with Kai.

__________ Kai is a strange boy. He looks at everybody as if he hates them- everybody except for the boss. He doesn’t talk much. He hates being touched. He scares you, a little, but you learn to stop flinching. Both of you want to please the boss, and the boss wants you to get along. So you do just that. You fold origami together (Kai sits and watches you make clumsy cranes and airplanes, occasionally speaking up to tell you that your corners are mismatched or that he thinks you’ve forgotten a step). You eat meals together (egg rolls are the only thing Kai eats any more than a few mouthfuls of so you give him yours; you’re supposed to be friends and that’s what friends do). You sleep on opposite sides of the same big, bare room (empty on Kai’s side because clutter makes him nervous, compromised on your side because he is also supposed to be considerate towards you). You grow together, centimeters adding up on top of centimeters over weeks, months, years, marking off your heights on the bedroom wall with a pen. Kai grows tall, lanky, pale and golden-eyed, all glass-cut chin and cold charisma. At some point, you get separate rooms, and then you see less of each other. He still scares you, in a sense. He’s always been weird, always kind of paranoid and mean and distant. In all your years of sharing a room and a childhood, you’ve never once touched him. You imagine his skin must feel cold. But cold or warm, cruel or kind, to all intents and purposes- you’re still family. You still offer him your egg rolls at mealtimes. When he visits your room, he tolerates the occasional mess. You can get along, you tell yourself, as the boss smiles at the both you through a wrinkled, careworn mouth. After all, you reflect, it’s not so hard. You can play pretend. _____ By the time Eri arrives, you’ve been playing pretend for far too long. She’s small- painfully so. Small and frightened as she curls into her blankets, eyes wide, lips trembling, the small horn peeking out of her long white hair like a tumor. Boss doesn’t often give direct orders; not to you and Kai, anyway. You’re aware that for children of the yakuza, you’ve both been dreadfully coddled. It’s all out of the goodness of the old man’s heart. Until the day he dies, he only ever enforces two orders on you. One, is that you get along with Kai. Two, is that you protect Eri. You remember being hungry, once upon a time. Hungry and cold with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. There’s an old throb in the pit of your stomach whenever you think of it, of the starvation and pain burning at your nerve endings from the inside out. You never asked to be abandoned. No child ever does. Rule number two isn’t really an order; you choose Eri, choose to love her and cherish her. It’s what the boss did for you. It’s what any child deserves. (You don’t like the way Kai looks at her.) _____ Kai has plans. You are aware of this. He’s smart and good at most things he puts his mind to; it’s why the yakuza respects him, and why you tend to trust his plans, even when you don’t particularly want to. The tired lines on the boss’ face bother you. It’s concerning, the way he often asks for you nowadays, calls you his study only to have you sit and play with Eri, watching the two of you as if he has something to say but doesn’t quite dare to. In the end, he only sighs and thanks you for sparing some time for his granddaughter. That’s nothing, you want to say, you’d do that any day, because the boss is your family and you’ve promised yourself to protect Eri, but the words die in your mouth. You wonder why Kai is never invited to these meetings. Then again, Kai is in charge of managing Eri’s quirk, so maybe he deserves a break from playtime. Time passes, and the white in the boss’ hair grows more pronounced. He begins to struggle, to grow more and more tired, the lines deepening in his forehead like furrows in a field. One late night, after dinner, he gazes at you calmly from over the desert- a slice of vanilla cake that he’s barely touched. His large, wrinkled hand rests gently on his granddaughter’s head. “Take care of her,” he tells you quietly. “Protect her. No matter what happens. That’s all I would ask of you.” You want to ask why he looks so grim, what it is you would need to protect her from, but the boss’ voice drifts off and he bows his head. He suddenly looks very small. “And thank you for your kindness towards Kai. You’ve done much for the boy. I fear, sometimes…” What he fears, you never learn, because he falls silent without finishing the sentence. “I will,” you reassure him, desperate to lift a bit of the burden that seems to rest on his broad, black-clad shoulders; gone are the days when you were still small enough to hide in the folds of his coat. You’ve got to be braver now, show him that all the trust and care he’s given you were not in vain. “I swear. Eri will always be safe with me. And I’ll take care of Kai, too.” This is the last conversation you have with him. ____ Kai calls you to his room the day after the boss falls unconscious. His golden eyes bore into yours and you feel the familiar chill run down your spine. “I’m in charge now,” he says, voice perfectly even behind the black mask that covers his mouth. “I hope that my position doesn’t change things between us. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” Despite all your years of friendship, you still can’t read Kai- it’s strange, to you, the way he spent the entirety of last night downstairs by the boss’ bed, but now talks about his promotion as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Then again, he’s always had different ways of expressing himself. Though it needles at you, you remember your promise to the boss- your last promise, the only way you could ever repay him for his kindness- and convince yourself to nod. “Of course. You can count on me.” ____ Not a day after the yakuza gains a new leader, you fail the boss. Eri looks tense as Chrono leads her off, her favorite teddy clutched in one small hand, her little mouth set in a stiff, frowning line. She doesn’t know where she’s going. You don’t know, either. Not really. Kai has a plan. You must trust his plans. You tell this to yourself over and over, the uneasiness creeping into the pit of your stomach as you watch Eri’s small figure disappear around a bend in the corridor. ____ “He wants you in Eri’s room,” Chrono informs you, hours later. “She feels more comfortable with you.” What happened? The words echo in your mind as you find your way down the corridors to the large, whitewashed room where Eri sleeps with her dolls. And there she is, sitting on the bed. There are bandages around her arms and legs and tearstains on her face. What happened? Your heart’s beating so hard you can taste it, the bile bitter on your tongue as you swallow down your panic. What’s going on? But the words won’t come out. Eri looks to Chrono, and then she looks to you. She stretches out her small, bandaged arms for a hug. She still looks halfway to sobbing. And you don’t question it. Not here, not now. You just pick her up and rock her, smoothing a hand through her long, tangled hair and whispering comforting words, because it’s all going to be ok- it must be. Kai has a plan, and you’re supposed to trust him. “It’s just her quirk,” Chrono tells you, which is vague, but that’s fine; you can work with vague for now, the way you always have. You nod in understanding and keep rocking Eri. (Her small body shakes like a leaf in your arms, and though it’s summertime and the room is warm, both her hands and yours are cold as ice.) _____ Eri’s limbs are always bandaged. Whatever Kai does with her, you’re not allowed to see- and this is fine, too, because you���re not a high-ranking member, anyway. Your quirk is weak, simple telekinesis that just about corresponds to your physical strength, and without the boss, you’re just here by virtue of being Kai’s good friend. Because you are good friends, still, even if he always has you off on minor missions and only ever summons you to occasionally babysit Eri. And Eri’s limbs are always bandaged. “Sickness,” is Kai’s cryptic explanation. “A side-effect of her quirk. We’re just trying to save her from herself.” You know Eri’s quirk is dangerous. You know it caused her father’s death and her mother’s abandonment. You suppose it’s a good thing, then, if Kai’s looking for a way to get it under control. “It’s what the boss would have wanted.” And you are very good at playing pretend, have learned how to lie through your teeth since you were old enough to talk, can fool yourself as well as you fool everybody else- It’s what the boss would have wanted, you remind yourself, cradling Eri in your arms as she dozes off. You will get along with Kai, and you will do what is best for this child. Just as you were asked to. “It’s alright,” you whisper, more to yourself than to Eri. She’s already fallen asleep. _____ “See, Eri? The bird goes whoosh!” You snap your fingers with a little more flair than is strictly necessary, and the clumsy paper crane goes zooming around the room. Eri watches with wide, bright eyes and claps her hands in delight. “I wish,” she tells you later that night as you tuck her into bed, quiet and confidential, “I wish I had a nice quirk like yours.” “Thank you.” You smile in spite of yourself. “But Eri-chan, my quirk isn’t very strong, you know?” “But it’s nice,” she repeats, snuggling under the covers, only the top of her horned head peeking out. “It makes things jump and fly. I want a nice quirk like yours.” There’s a strange note in her voice- a strained, sad sound, too sad for such a small girl. It doesn’t sit right with you. There’s something you should say, but you’re not sure what it is. “You’re a good girl, Eri,” you say instead, pressing a kiss to the top of her snowy white head and wrapping your arms around her. “Go to bed now.” “Will you be back soon?” she asks, big eyes already half-closed, the lids weighed down with sleep. “You go on so many missions...” Her voice trails off into nothingness, soft and wistful, another quiet whisper dissipating into the shadows of the whitewashed bedroom. Pity claws at your heart. “I’ll be back soon,” you promise. (This is, of course, a lie.) ____ “Again, Eri?” Kai’s voice is quiet and controlled, laced with paternal disappointment as he looks down at the quivering figure before him. Eri looks at the floor. Her shoulders are shaking. “You should know better by now. Look at how you’ve inconvenienced everybody. Chrono...me...and,” he glances at you sharply. “your dearest friend.” A beat of silence, and with a patter of bare feet against the cold floor, Eri rushes forward and clings to his leg. “I’m sorry,” comes her muffled voice over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t run again...” You watch, and as you are prone to do in Kai’s presence, you shiver. _____ That night, as she’s drifted off to sleep, you shift the bandages on Eri’s wrist. There’s dried blood underneath. No visible wound. You’re no scholar, neither are you a fighter. You know nothing about quirk science. You know even less about Eri’s ability, or how it would affect her. Maybe, maybe this is normal; maybe this is the problem Kai is trying to fix. But there’s a part of you that remembers what it’s like to be overhauled, and that part of you grows cold as you watch the child sleep. _____ (You were about sixteen when you let Kai overhaul you. Just to see what it would feel like. Just to see what he was capable of. Friends help friends practice things like that. You remember the feeling of disintegration, of flesh being pulled from bone and muscles unraveling into strings, veins dissolving around blood which sprayed into the air and your voice dissolving from your lungs with the liquid. Just like that, gone. And just like that, whole again. Kai looked down at you, sixteen himself, eyes golden as the sun and sharp as a knife. He reached out a gloved hand to help you back up. You still have no idea what he was thinking at the time.) _____ Here is a theory: You’re rarely at headquarters because most of the time, Kai doesn’t want you there. You’re told to babysit Eri because you are a rarely-seen prize- a reward for good behavior. Good behavior is when she doesn’t scream. It’s when she doesn’t try to run away. There are a thousand different things she could be running from, but as you sit across from Kai in his office, listening as he lists off your next set of orders, you suspect that the primary one is right here in the room with you. And whatever he’s doing, he doesn’t want you to know. (When things begin to make sense is when you always end up wishing that they never did.) ___ The next time you leave headquarters, you do so with a feeling of dread. Eri watches you go, and for the first time, you recognize the look in her wide eyes as terror. (Like your family once left you, you leave her behind.) ___ This was once home. You pace the floor of your bedroom, back and forth, back and forth, hands cold, heart colder, shoulders shaking. You grew up in this room- in this place. It is home. It was home. Even as you pace, you don’t know, you have no clue, what is happening to Eri? Where is she? What is Kai doing to her? Why, why, why, You remember being overhauled, the bloodstain of your remains sprayed across these very walls. Kai doesn’t want you to know. You are supposed to get along with Kai. You are supposed to protect Eri. Your hands are clammy, ribs constricting around your lungs as you stare up at the ceiling, wondering. The room spins. Your thoughts are screaming. Boss, what have we done to Eri? _____ You strike deals in the dark, fading underbelly of Japan, gathering information and tools, goods for trading, wares the criminals of this country are desperate to get their hands on. It’s all for the sake of the Shie Hassaikai. While you pass drugs to the next sunken-eyed dealer who wants to get their hands on them, you know Eri is with Kai, and your own hands tremble until you almost drop your cargo. (One of your old clients used to tell you, back when you’d just started in the business- “You ain’t cut out for this work, kid. Better run back while you still can.” You didn’t have anywhere to run back to, and when you told him that, his yellow-toothed grin sagged.) There’s a list of solutions in your brain right now- you’re good at solutions, at formulating plans and calculating possibilities. It’s why Kai trusts you with the business side of the Shie Hassaikai. But your list right now consists of dead ends, of a thousand different scenarios that all end in Kai and his molten-sun eyes, his gloved hand reaching towards your face, his quirk coursing through you and taking you apart piece by piece, and maybe this time he won’t put you together again. Not that you’ve ever known him not to- but you are afraid of Kai, and you’ve learned to trust your fear. Sometimes it’s the only thing worth trusting. (If you want to keep Eri alive, you’ll keep playing pretend.) ____ This time, when you return, Kai is there. He asks you to dinner. “Business is going smoothly. You’re doing good work.” His mask is off; it feels like years since the last time you saw him without it, and the face beneath it has changed. The jaw is sharper, the mouth thinner. This is no longer a child’s face, if it ever was at all. Rice sticks like glue in your throat as you reply, “Thank you- you’re too kind.” You hand him your egg rolls. It comes reflexively-  he no longer needs you to feed him, and there’s no boss watching over your shoulders to ensure that you play nice with each other. For whatever reason, he accepts them. (It occurs to you that you’ve never known, and still don’t know, whether he actually likes eggs or not. Whether it’s only the rolls that he eats. Whether he eats them because he enjoys the taste or just for the satisfaction of taking something else from you.) “And you’re too formal,” he says, taking a delicate bite. He smiles, a rare expression, and you wonder if you should treasure it. (Rather, you wish he’d stop.) Dinner almost ends on a pleasant note- as pleasant as it gets with Kai nowadays- but it really ends when Chrono bursts in through the doors, announcing tensely that Eri is gone again. Kai stands. You do, too, and follow him as he silently exits the room, praying that he’ll be too late. (He’s not.) But when you hold Eri in your arms that night, soothing her as you rock her back and forth, back and forth, you listen to her whisper in your ear about a boy she met, a boy with big green eyes and freckles all over his face, a boy who held her for a moment without hurting her. The story seems to shine like a floodlight in the darkness. Somebody out there has seen Eri. Somebody out there knows. Somebody out there cares. You don’t generally depend on the charity of your fellow human beings. The Shie Hassaikai taught you better, and so did Kai. But the boss taught you something a little more than either. You rock Eri to sleep and hope beyond hope for a miracle. Let the heroes pull through. Let them save your little girl.

#BNHA #Overhaul #Chisaki Kai #Chisaki Kai x reader #Overhaul x reader #Overhaul x you #gender neutral reader #scenario #Mod Eve #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw body horror #I guess? #it's mild but it's there #because of Overhaul's quirk #Eri #bnha Eri #overhaul x y/n

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

---

Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

-

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

-

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

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@berrynarrybanana​

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #har #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #I DID IT #I sat down and wrote it #and it took forever #and I need to write a second part but I made something coherent #one direction fanfiction #not my gifs #my writing #I love you h #you get me #my writings

[a1kalii]

I'd just love to ask, how did you come up with this AU? I've seen 2 of the kind, and yours was the first one I found. It's an AMAZING AU , and I'm just genuinley curious.

YEA, so irl i'm actually a cashier at a Grocery store! i'm not goanna lie, so many shenanigans happen, obv not as much stuff as described in the au, but def. alot lol.

i just thought that the characters and dynamics would be cool, and i originally made it to get away from the heavy lore and angst that was going on. not that angst is bad tho! the au definitely has lots of that lol, and i love it :)) 

i actually came up with/ started writing oneshots for it in october! i talked to the discord bois abt it after mentioning it, and then we came up with 5 pages of headcannons. (i was up till 3am making the doc oml) its now 30 pages long.

i only found out there was another person making headcanons about it on tumblr about a month ago? they seem pretty cool, and i swear i didn't take the idea from them lol. i made this acc for the au when i was super hyped abt it, then didn't touch it for like months bfghbwgut. mostly cause school was getting in the way.

personally, i like writing on Ao3 much better, but i decided that since i already made the acc might as well use it a bit. im also much more settled in on Ao3, and have much more ppl leaving comments there, so tumblr is more of a side thing if i'm being honest. i'm still going to be posting here often tho!

(an example of smth that happened) my co worker was like “bro im so bored there was supposed to be a truck coming in, i'm basically wasting time professionally” i replied with “idk just go hide in the freezer or smth, they dont have cams”       “i already did i went on my phone for like half an hour. there was 2 others in there actually, they were giving out twinkies when i went in there. want one?” I CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP THIS HAPPENED I SWEAR.; anyways...

#tommyinnit #tubbo #dream #SapNap #georgenotfound #dream smp #store au #dream smp grocery store au #fundy #nihichu #wilbur #philza #dadza #technoblade #mcyt #angst #fic #yeaa

[love4hobi]

Okay this is gonna be long but I wanted to respond and put my 2 cents in about ur asks u got yesterday and discussion over bts recent music....okay so I read somehwere (I forget) that PTD was like their end to the trilogy thing of songs they were doing in that type of genre / English thing...Idk if that’s 100% true but it can give hope. Imo I actually liked butter and stuff PTD was just straight up bad but I liked butter and dynamite...is it their best work clearly not close but it wasn’t bad like PTD😭😭 also as I’ve been a fan for so fucking long (2015) I can say that for 2020-2021 bts KEEPS their success bc they’re such great perofmorers and bring it everytime despite the current music they’re releasing...(my opinion...) like I rememebr watching festa room live and being like holy shit they’re so good what the fuck and then realizing they were performing like all old b sides besides 2 songs😭😭 idk. To me they still perform and put on top level stages and that’s what keeps me interested and a fan to this day...also idk if you liked MOTS and persona but I liked both ...and BE was an okay album to me (not their best but come on KDKDKDKDKDKDD) also I think we as fans need to expect that every artist has their peak. Like there’s so many western rock /alt bands that I’m in love with their albums and then they release shit I don’t like after being together for like a decade and I just have to accept they reached their peak musically but am able to look back at their work they have done and still love them for what they did and released. Idk. I think bts can still bring it back musically as the time period of 2020-2021 isn’t that long in my opinion. Yes it’s been their worst year musically but it’s been like a year since dynamite so it hasn’t been THAT long. I think it feels like a long ass time tho so I get it....I’m giving them a lot of room and you obviously can disagree I’m just stating my opinion lol!! Cuz I do agree that PTD sucked and hybe is stupid...I mean take a look at what p dogg said a month ago when he said that it’s sad that bts songs are getting so incredibly short and the rap line can’t show their skills anymore to cater to the market and to check out their other music...(literally say that shit like word for word basically in a YouTube video....) like does this man (their long time producer) expressing these worries seirously have 0 say??? Like it really seemed like he is bummed about their recent shit too and bts are rich so you’d think they’d put their foot down and say no to anything...but I agree with you about how they’ve been grinding nonstop for 8 years and maybe they’re just fucking tired. Like it’s understandable. Anyway, I agree that this years music has been lacking (and honestly I lowkey feel that way about all kpop AT the moment)....like txt is the only group imo that is releasing good music right now...not to drag anyone else but twice disappointed me this year and nct and skz too 😭😭 but you know!! It is what it is!!! Back to bts tho, I personally still love them bc of their body of work that they have done and their stage performances and probably will feel that way for a long time. Idk, I’ve experience this with so many bands so it doesn’t shock me that much. Like for ex the band arctic monkeys had a perfect discography for me then they released an ass album and it sucked and I just accepted that maybe they just reached their peak 😭😭 idk...this was super long but oof

oh hmm i havent heard that about the trilogy but that certainly would be nice,, but then the coldplay collab is pretty much basically confirmed at this point and thatll probably be mostly if not all in english 🙄 and omg yes ur so right performing is definitely one of their biggest strong suits especially on tours whenever i go back and rewatch old concerts its just like theres no one else like them like theres lots of great performers in kpop but theres just something special about them altogether as a group!! and the thought and effort they put into end of the year stages always blows me away, but yea also smaller things like the festa room live are so nice,, they just work so well together on every level. but i do see what ur saying about them peaking cus yea i loved black swan and on and i could see how that would feel hard to top, but idk yea like i said in another ask they might just be tired and i think if they dont put out anything that great in the next year or two i feel like they might be able to get back together sometime after enlistement once theyve hopefully been a little ✨rejuvenated✨ and had time to rest n just live their lives for a bit (and bighit has hopefully moved on to txt and the new gg a bit more) and finally be able to to do something thats more them and just fits what they actually want to be doing at that point in their careers. but omg yea exactly what u said abt pdogg it kinda rly sucked to hear him say exactly what i was thinking in that vid and for His opinion to still not even have an effect on anything :( but also yea like you said and ive said in some other asks the pandemic has affected the music quality of a lot of groups/artists and theres always hope that things will get back to normal afterwards or maybe they really have peaked unfortunately theres no way to know we just have to wait n see ig :/

#mail #negativity #but i rly dont know if im ready to let them go yet ive never loved an artist so much and so much of their discography before 😭

[rigelmejo]

7/23/2021 Reading Progress - Almost 2 Years

I know I posted a little about reading progress a few days ago, but it’s really just exciting to me! And really really motivating!

These past few days, I’ve been reading one of my favorite fanfic writers. I started intensively reading, and now I can get by reading faster (which for me is only 140 characters a minute ToT so still quite slow but hey its something) and just looking an ACTUAL only 4-5 new words per chapter (which is 4000-5000 characters).  Just the fact I am ACTUALLY 98% comprehending chinese reading material. And material I actually want to be reading. Goal reading material! Because like? 

Even when I was extensively reading before, I was reading stuff that was ‘hard’ to read extensively (enough that I’d need to think and use any clues from context to guess what’s going on for certain key words and phrases I didn’t know but needed, and there were enough of those that I needed to focus a lot). This is really like the first extensive reading I’ve been able to do where I can actually just relax and speed read the extensive reading if I want to. Where it feels more like reading Lord of the Rings fast, or Dracula (some vocab I don’t know or weird phrasings for me but its fine to get through until I get used to it) - or some stuff easier now like reading Good Omens (where its an easy read where I get comfortable fast). Where it feels much more like reading english, just slower (and with less context hints for new words lol - since english I can sound out and guess if I heard it before and already know all the ‘word stem’ hints of meaning). Now, because of there being less ‘context stuff’ i can rely on compared to english, i do plan to keep using a digital dictionary to read sometimes (especially because it is the FASTEST way for me personally to reinforce new hanzi pronunciations). 

Like. This past week I’ve been following the Silent Reading audiobook along with the novel, and also just reading the Chinese novel. And also just reading some new stuff by one of my favorite fanfic authors. And I’ve been able to. The fanfic story is a bit easier, so I suppose I can read it with no prior context! (That’s what I looked up about 5 new words for - chairman, deputy were the keywords I needed then most of the rest made sense from context lol). And Silent Reading I read in english but like years ago, so many paragraphs felt new to me but they were fine to read except a few description-dense sections where something economic-related was being said (along with some 4-character phrases I wasn’t sure of). I knew lately I’ve been able to read new Guardian chapters while following along with the audiobook without the english translation, if I don’t want to know every single word but just follow the plot/most of it, so its been really cool seeing this week that I can do it with Silent Reading too! 

I’m fairly sure my level of comprehension is like this: the more murder mystery, investigative/detectives, more contemporary, more supernatural, more romantic, more daily life - the more I will comprehend it. 

Those seem to be my more ‘comfortable domains’ vocabulary wise. Specifically mystery/supernatural/contemporary (since most anything I watch or read is in usually at least one of these genres partly). When I get into xianxia, the farther it is from the very joking/basic SVSSS xianxia vocab the less I can comprehend. I did read 28 chapters of Tian Ya Ke before so maybe some of that will help with reading wuxia genre, but I’d argue it was months ago and tyk doesn’t really go very deep into using wuxia genre words compared to some novels. So basically my xianxia and wuxia vocab is very basic main-plot words like you’d hear in show scripts, but not necessarily enough to follow the details of novels - I do think I know enough to follow the overall main plot though. Happily, Tian Ya Ke and Qi Ye are on my reading list in the future, so they may both help more with political/court and wuxia genre words so that those genres get more comprehensible for me. 

I’m really excited about the tyk and qy reads now, since I planned to read them extensively while glancing at the english translation for help if I didn’t understand. And since I’m starting to be able to extensively read some of priest okay, then doing that with a novel while using the translation so its like a bilingual-resource to reference making things easier, should not be as hard/intensive as it might have been a few months ago. 

This is just. For me a very big milestone. I’m at a point where some of my goal reading is something I can extensively read without too much pain, and have enough hanzi-knowledge to guess some new words and phrases from context a decent amount of the time.

Summary: it’ll be 2 years in a month. And I’m officially at a point where some of the goal novels are able to be extensively read, genuinely, and some of the ‘goal other stuff’ is extensively readable now (some fanfics, some easier bl novels, etc). Past me would be really excited. ToT

I plan to: keep reading intensively and extensively (with an emphasis on reading through a lot more characters/words), keep doing L-R Method and listening-only during day (keep working on improving listening). And occasionally shadowing now/repeated listening/practicing speaking. In the long term: I’d like to read my grammar guide and practice writing/speaking from what I learn. 

That plan has worked really well the past few months

-

Related: my japanese reading skill! Because weirdly enough its been seeing improvements too!

So, I already realized me knowing more hanzi definitely helps me ‘guess more japanese words’ from context. Because: 1. its like english-french, while some are false cognates with nothing actually in common I can sometimes figure that out from the fact the scene is ‘wrong’ for the word I would’ve guessed, and I do know the word endings in japanese so that helps guess if its noun/adjective/verb, and I do know around 2000 common japanese words specifically so that also helps me notice what’s not actually similar in meaning. 2. so i’ve got this basic framework to guess stuff from context: 2000 japanese words I do know, some basic grammar recognition, ~2000 hanzi I do know and then however many chinese words I know, rough recognition of some of the katakana words, and then I usually try to read something I have prior context for so I’ve either read/played in english or know the overall plot main points in english. Apparently all of this helps a lot.

Now its not putting me on anything near 98% comprehension lol (except maybe KH2 since I know that story so well I really do figure out a lot but its more like idk 90% and me just very good at telling ‘unknown part’ was ‘probably X’ but not actually able to be sure, so i can follow fully but i’m not able to learn from a certain amount just cause i can’t be sure its not perhaps actually-something-else more nuanced). But whatever comprehension it puts me at, its enough to follow the main plot (better than I could ever do before with japanese lol with anything more than... well anything... i couldn’t follow even simple manga main overall plot unless i had a dictionary at year 2.5... so now the fact i can generally follow main plot of games, and catch a decent amount of details - not a majority but still regularly noticing some details, all without a dictionary, is pretty cool to me). 

Lately I’ve been watching some REALLY old Shin Megami Tensei and related game lets plays in japanese, with the player reading aloud (so hopefully I learn some actual word pronounciations my biggest weak point). Because I understand enough right now that I can pick up a lot more just by continuing to watch. Like, playing KH2 I could pick up the ‘reading’ of some new stuff and grammar. But with a voiced lets play, I can also try to pick up those new words and maybe if I’m lucky how the more common ones are pronounced as they’re said again and again. I figure I can probably learn a lot more words this way, and continue getting used to the grammar, for a while before I see less frequent payoff. For now, I’m seeing constant easy payoff from doing it. I’ve got a lot of grammar I’ve read details on but not seen regularly enough to get used to, so that all gets reinforced and learned better. And I’ve got a lot of hanzi I know, and doing this helps me start learning the similar-cognate kanji and words writing/pronunciation, the slightly different ones and their rougher meaning along with writing/pronunciation, to be aware which ones are totally different (tho depending on scene context i may or may not learn these words at least i’ll know they’re not the same). 

My point is: now engaging with japanese is a lot more relaxing and enjoyable. (I realize lol a few months ago playing in japanese or watching a lets play was doable but exhausting, so perhaps i am getting more used to it or actually have learned a little lol). In the sense that, now it feels a lot more like ‘reading french when i started learning’ - i feel like i have a LOT more scaffolding to lean on and help me when i’m struggling, whereas i know the first 2.5 years i studied japanese i felt drowning since nothing was familiar - not the grammar, not the words, not the sound, not the lack of word-spaces, etc. Now it feels like there’s a lot more i have ‘some prior experience’ with (from grammar being restudied over and over now lol and i still need much more lol, to onyomi kanji pronunciations now being my favorite lol and kanji my favorite part of reading), so when i’m diving into japanese instead of drowning i have some floaties to grab onto usually (unless i go outside of the domains i’m used to).

By domains i mean - if I try listening-only i still drown (since then i only have grammar and 2000 japanese words i’m still rusty on listening to), if i do listening-watching without subs i have fewer floaties to grab (i have my 2000 learned words but am super rusty on hearing them especially without kanji to see for reference), obviously if its an old or technical text i will drown (im used to modern japanese, and very specifically daily life or supernatural/light-fantasy video game stories). So like... nier, kh2, crisis core, persona games, smt games, are much more in my comfort level of following a plot (again with subs, because without subs it HAS to be something i know the english well for if i’m going to follow much besides simple daily life parts since i’ll need the visual context and prior context to guess what’s going on just in general - not understanding those parts of the japanese). 

Long story short, its been super fun for me lately engaging with japanese. Japanese is NOT even in my ‘realistic’ study plan right now lol!

But this month I still: read a chapter of japanese translation of Guardian, played 4 hours KH2, read the opening scenes of the script of FFX (fyi: in Idiom app they made HUGE improvements I can now play the audio line by line and repeat-automatically as much as i want AND the definitions now come from much better dictionaries), watched 40 minutes of SMT game lets plays (both with and without audio - though since my pronunciation info literally doesn't exist for so many words I decided adding audio as often as possible would be better). 

My ultimate goal for japanese was to be able to play the games I like in japanese, and follow them before localization changes. I’m not picking up the level of info necessary to be fully satisfied with how much I’m noticing. But I do follow enough now that I’m able to start practicing/studying japanese BY playing the games I want or engaging with them in lets plays/scripts etc. And its very motivating to know I’m far enough into this goal to be studying by doing (at least for now, if it stops paying off as much I’ll likely need to approach it from new angles for a while). But like? I can taste it! I’m starting to do what I want, not as well as I want but I am starting to be able to do those things. And that’s really exciting. 

Side notes: I still personally want to continue reading my grammar guides until I've finished them (japanese in 30 hours, tae kim, sakubi), and keep going through clozemaster. Both of these were helping, do help, and ensure I’m building the weaknesses (grammar i just need SO much more help with for japanese, and clozemaster gives me actual word definitions and pronunciation and lets me practice listening skills and grammar in context which are ALL weak points for me). So that’s the overall japanese goal for a long while (yes i might also finish Nukemarine’s memrise decks if i ever feel up for flashcards again lol). 

In the LONG long term, i would probably want to move onto my other japanese study books i own while continuing to go through clozemaster - i have two reading-japanese books i think would help a ton especially if i want to speed up reading speed and/or read novels more, a sentence pattern book that for me personally would help with reinforcing and getting comfortable with grammar and common words (particularly for long term active use). I also have a kanji remembering book i probably could go through - although by then idk how many kanji i’ll remember the pronunciations and meanings for by then.

#study plan #july study plan #july progress #july #reading #reading progress

[icharchivist]

first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD  Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen. 

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!!  The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!!  Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH.... 

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that.  AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it! 

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O 

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #i love the winter troupe SO MUCH it's unreal this ask made me cry i was just LDKJFDLK WINTER!!!!!!! #i love your thoughts so much thank you for all of it <33 #sonnets-of-beauty #ichareply #long post for ts

[nenastrology]

did i miss top 5/10 asks?? top (insert number of choice) charas who get wildly mischaracterized by the WHOLE fanbase

kllkasdf no i asked for them like god maybe a month ago and some people seem to just keep sending them i guess cuz i give funny long answers its a fun little ask thing so i enjoy getting them from time to time :D

hiei oh my god people really are just so funny they genuinely think he hates his friends and im like hes doing such a bad act of pretending they dont matter to him but he just hates emotions he does in fact care about his friends he would just rather die than admit it thats fine they know he likes them :) hes just a funny little guy its also HILARIOUS when people take the entire edgy boy routine deadly seriously and im like man hes 4 feet tall hes hip height u could pick him up, sakura from naruto oh my god.. people either are just like i hate her no more thoughts or like essentially make her their self insert character or generic girl power whatever when like all her actually interesting character are her being mean!!! like idk its also just the fact her entire character got weaker as the story went on and i personally think she should be acknowledged as crazy and mean but thats me :) redditors and youtubers who believe johan is the best anime villain ever and go on and on about this and that absolutely mind numbing <3 like first of all i am obsessed with how their entire takeaway from the series is it is exactly as one dimensional as u think it could be from the beginning that there is simply one “monster“ and that he was just evil from birth and should have died lol because thats really the takeaway if you view him as this isolated pure evil force like they do or even just analyze him as like a character..... when hes much more a concept lol and is like the manifested impact of all the horrible horrible people who “created” him and their impact goes beyond just him and killign one man would not in fact destroy the society that created him yadda yadda ok i am realizing this is probably wildly off from what u were expecting but this is my blog and my list so i do what i want <3 oh the way everyone decided johnny joestar was some kind of uwu softboy which is nearly so comically out of character u literally cannot wrap ur head around it its stunning really like he might be the meanest and biggest asshole of all the jojos u annoy him and hes like hmm u know id let u die >:( um the fact most people think yuki sohma is heterosexual absolutely insane i want them to stop behaving in this manner and hiding themselves from the truth love and light!!!!! the sheer volume of people who think alphonse elric is just some generic nice younger brother nothing more tho i suppose i cant even blame them cuz the anime adaptations really did lean into that and a lot of his mean comments and comedy are just not present but that just proves my point how pervasive it is!!!! get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly one cannot even fully put into words some of the absolutely mental interpretations of miss anthy himemiya that like are honestly probably brain melting to even fully recount so i shall not except like bizarre things where shes evil or extremely passive like opposite ends of the spectrum but i truly do not dwell on that hmm i feel like theres a million characters i could list for this but hm my mind she is not fully on today i feel like honestly its more common a character is wildly misinterpreted by fandom than anything else adfjkladkfjl like god i stopped seeking out much naruto content but its nearly comical how nobody could ever actually just nail getting like more than 2 characters not be distractingly out of character lol such is life i think

[kooksea]

sound (m);

pairing: jeon jungkook | reader —college!au, fuckboy!jungkook, fratboy!jungkook

genre: TOO MUCH SMUT? just smut, smut, and more smut. graphic smut scenes, multiple orgasms, daddy kink, cum play, overstimulation, oral (both male and female receiving), dom!jungkook but it changes...later, public oral (someone else is receiving tho), nipple play, hell amount of spanking, they just fuck in every way that they can lol, the story literally begins with smut and ends with smut...no between, fluff too if you push too hard

summary: you're taking a very interesting course this semester —sound psychology, and jeon jungkook, being the fuckboy he's always been, has an idea to record you while having sex for the assignment which was given.

wordcount: 13,738 (that’s how whipped i am)

“So Brian Eno invested the music for airports, and this awakened a new era for psychologists to investigate further. Can music changes the atmosphere of the place? We all know that music was used for therapy in many cases, but in this class, we’re not discussing therapy, it’s another class that you’ll be taking soon.  This…this is all about the music you don’t even think you were listening to in some places, and how they change your thoughts and again — you didn’t even know.”

Psychology was something you always wanted to study. You don’t exactly remember how you were fund over this field and when, and the only thing you know that in some way you just kind of —liked it.  A future with it seemed much brighter, and you worked your ass off to earn a good amount of scholarship from a very well-known university in the town. It was like a dream come true. 

That was a year ago.

This year, during the registration period of your third semester at the University, you saw a very interesting elective course: sound psychology. Which, you thought, would be a great opportunity for you to combine the first and second thing about life that makes you excited: psychology and—music.

So you registered the course, to listen to classes and get great grades, of course; not to try to focus (and failed everytime) on the Professor because a douchebag, cunt addicted asshole was sitting next to you, fingering some girl behind the desk, making it harder for you to hear what the Professor was saying.

University couldn’t be better, right?

“Mmh,” you hear the girl’s groans, echoing in the big class. Your cheeks get redder as soon as you hear more of them, uncomfortable with being very near to the incident. You were really, really wanted to listen to the class.

I mean, yeah, a few amounts of public sex could be an entertaining show for you to watch. But, that, wouldn’t be a problem when the class is boring, or useless. Unfortunately, you really liked the class, and you really needed a great grade to sustain your scholarship.

You don’t turn your left to face them, no, because you don’t want to have nightmares about your classmates doing oral while you were in the class, at the time the class is happening. As amazing and extremely filthy (in a good way) it sounds, (1). the girl wasn’t you, (2). you really liked the class (for the hundredth time you were pointing that out), and—the most important fact about why you couldn’t ignore a bunch of teenager playing with each other was because (3). Jeon Jungkook was giving the head.

Your history with fratboys and how needy their asses are were way longer than Jungkook’s history with girls, however, even though you didn’t know the kid — you just know that you weren’t going to feel empathy or sincerity to the any of the frat boys on any of the universities all around the world.

With you recalling some scenes from your freshman year in college, and how you lost your virginity to some fratboy who said that you were his and he was yours for months and fucking a few (or 20, actually) girls behind you was making you irritated, and surely making some bad memories going back. And because of that fucking asshole, you promised yourself two things.

One: No more fucking with the fratboys while you were in the University.

Two: You were surely going to come back again after your graduation, just to fuck around with a few of the fratboys—for fun, or to make them publicly humiliated. (Because of their dick sizes, or the lack of it.)

Fratboys were overrated —because they weren’t sex gods, they weren’t that wild, and it was a fact that they weren’t that thick nor long.

The girl (you didn’t know her name) started to sound like she was coming undone soon, and with that, you thought that she was coming really quickly because it was only been five minutes since they were being handy with each other if you recall it right. Of course, her coming sooner than Jungkook was going to flutter him in every way that it can, and probably will make him think that he’s, indeed, a sex god, but you knew the truth. He was choosing the ones who couldn’t resist, and another truth was that you could’ve made her come less than a minute.

No hard feelings, Jeon Jungkook.

That was, obviously, out of context—because you were supposed to be talking about how airplane music was changing people’s mood when they were rushing through gates and trying to find the right way to go, making them relax with some soft, classical type kinds of music. And also, as soon as the passengers go into the plane, a way more cheerful but still soft music is playing because the airways want them to be cheerful about getting through all the anxious parts of the day…

…But you couldn’t, and the only thing you were hearing was still how the girl was short of breath, murmuring sweet little sounds.

“Right there, Jungkook. Right t-there, I’m so…c-close.”

“Don’t come yet,” he commands. The prick’s voice was a lot deeper now. “You’re not allowed to come yet, baby girl.”

Fratboys.

…and how they always liked being dominant.

…and how they’re not that successful about it.

You were feeling like listening to the same old mantra, just the people were changing. I mean, really, the only spice you’re adding is that we’re in a fucking class?

A class that you must give with at least an A- because you were supposed to maintain a good academic semester if you want your scholarship to be safe and sound?

Oh, god, the class. Suddenly, without a flinch, you’ve decided to ask them —politely— to be a little silent, and that you really need to listen to this class. Courage always comes when you need it, and better use it while you still can, right?

You turn back to the incident that still happening in your left, your eyes welcoming a long lasting image in your mind: Jeon Jungkook’s long fingers going deeper and deeper while the girl is trying to open her little cunt to the man who’s sitting next to her, desperate for his touch. As if those legs could open themselves much longer. She looked like she’s doing some kind of cheerleading practice.

“Dude, can you fuck her pussy when we’re not supposed to be next to each other, in a class, if I remind you?” You not so politely ask, trying to look away from the very incident that is still, by the way, happening in flesh right next to you.

Jungkook stops with his fingers for a brief moment to turn you, a tempting smirk on his face. “Why, will you be joining with us after the class?” He tilts his head while tsked you, and he spends no more than a few seconds to go back to his duty.

“Ahhhg—like that!” The girl whines a little much loader, making you think that not just you but everyone in this class were hearing their voices.

Jungkook slows down his pace, taking one of his fingers back from where they are. A sticky texture covering his long fingers, highlighted by the sun which comes from the window right next to their seats. “You’re going to have to be quiet if you want my fingers back in you, you loud slut.”

“Yes, please, make it quiet,” you add from their right seat, using a tone that you’re sure that the both of them could hear. “Some of us still tries to listen to the actual class which is happening right in front of you.”

This time they act like they didn’t hear your comments, and that was predictable because you knew that you were being a mood breaker—all on purpose.

Her breathing fastened its pace, and you swear that you could hear how wet she is by the sound that Jungkook’s fingers, echoing in all the class. “Ugh, ugh, mmHg —yes, Jungkook, I’m there, I’m there!”

Jungkook adds his third finger pack to her pussy, hitting her g-spot tyrannously until she feels bliss taking over her body and soul. “Come, you loud whiney bitch, come on all of my fingers like the slut you are. You liked being fingering in a class with them, make them earn their prize, huh?”

Suddenly, you turned back to them to see the show, feeling extremely turned on with the idea of fingering in a class with everyone’s inside. You could swear that her cum was leaking through the chair, a golden light breaking from outside to highlight the juices. She made such a mess.

While the girl was trying to maintain her breathing to how was supposed to be, you were still watching them, your mind went another place where you could only think that it had been a really long time since you got laid. You don’t notice when the prick calls you again, catching you peaking through the show which just ended.

“Enjoyed the show?” The prick whispered as he lays down to your lost face. “Care to join us where I actually use something longer than my fingers?”

You bitterly laugh. “I bet that your dick is smaller than your fingers, don’t waste your time, fratboy.”

“You’d be surprised when you see it, beautiful,” Jungkook attempts to make a move on you, with —of course— his so-called “fratboy charms” that never in your life again would work on you. “Are we making the bet?”

“No,” you shrug your shoulders, leaving your eyes from his doe-eyes to the Professor, who was still talking about the history of adding music to specific places, and how that music affected our psychological states. “I’ve seen enough of the fratboy’s small dicks, I’m passing yours as well.”

A villain kind of smirk emerges on his tuned face.“I bet you only saw the small ones and missed mine.” He tilts his head, for maybe the third time in one minute, a signature of his.

You faked a gag to scoff with him. “Yes, I’m sure that your dick is huge and all,” you turn your face again to him, a begging look on your face. “So—can you, maybe, shut up for a while and help me listen to the class, the class that which both of us taking, I think, and would be nice for you to actually listen to it.”

His mouth goes open for a while, and his mind probably trying to digest rejection that he just got from you—while you were giving him a delightful smirk that will make him angrier than he’s already is (if possible, because fratboy couldn’t take rejection). Jungkook doesn’t say anything back, and that’s a surprise for you, he leans over his chair, acts like he’s interested with the class and gives you the prize of your contest for today.

“…So, for the assignment I mentioned at the beginning of the class, it’s time for me to talk about it little more, and maybe I can hear about a few ideas of yours and give you my ideas how to improve it. Don’t feel pressured about this assignment, it will only take the %10 of your final grade—and I will be very generous when it comes to grading since it’s the first assignment that you guys will produce.”

You’re now really thankful for Jungkook to prevent you from listening to the class.

Really. Thankful.

The Professor glances at the papers her desk before starting to explain the assignment. “…Um, so—the due date is a week later, as you can guess. The assignments will be individually done, so no groups allowed. Although you can record the work together or do brainstorms about the assignment, which I’d appreciate if you guys do speak to each other about the homework given to you on a normal basis.” She laughs a little at the end of her sentence, while the class bursts into a peal of big laughter after her words. Of course, no one was going to speak about it. “Again, I get it that you don’t do such things. Anyway, for this assignment, I want you to find a specific situation that normally doesn’t involve music in it, and I want you to add a specific genre to that—and record how that goes for you. What I mean by that is, let’s just assume that cafe’s don’t play soft music in the back, and we thought about adding a soft playlist in the background of a Starbucks, which let’s assume—in a very crowded area. What you guys would do in a situation like this would be recording it before and after the music is on, so we can feel the change. No visuals allowed, just the record. And I want a reflection paper of the work, for around 250-300 words. Easy, right?”

It was, indeed, easy and looked interesting as well. You were feeling that a few ideas were popping up in your brain. “And…for the recording, 30 seconds for each would be enough, don’t make it longer than 60 seconds though, let’s make it quick and easy. Okay?” You nod as well as some other students. “Any ideas or questions so far?”

A girl from the front seats raises a hand, and Professor allows her to speak. “So…what if we change the music genre? In an existing situation? Like…changing the genre of the Starbucks, maybe making it hard metal or hip-hop instead of classical or soft music.”

“That is allowed too—and in fact, it is a good idea. Thank you, Ms. Min, for this, and anyone else?” She raises her voice as well as her left eyebrow, looking for a hand.

Someone else raises a hand. “How can we test their reaction? Are we going to interview with them?”

“You don’t have to,” Professor explains. “Let’s take the Starbucks example. I mean, I know that they won’t allow for you to stop the music but let’s assume that they did. You’ll go there for two days, at the same rush hour, and in the first day, what you’ll be doing would be examining the talks between the employee and the costumer, writing down the possible little fights between them, and even how many of the customers actually smiled or thanked the employee for maybe like thirty minutes? And—the second day, with the music on, you’ll do the same, taking notes…and then you can compare the two. But you can always interview the people, asking them if they’re feeling something about the music. You’d be surprised when the %80 of them says that they didn’t hear the music at all if it’s soft or classical. Because it goes deeper than you thought.”

You raise a hand. “Can I share my idea?”

Professor approves, a tempting smile on her face. “Please.”

“Umh, so…I was thinking,” you start to talk, rubbing your neck out of shyness. “My mom is a birth giver in a private hospital near, so I was thinking if I can do something with newborn babies or the act of giving birth. Adding soft music in the newborn unites or in the surgery room where the giving birth takes place. Maybe I can examine how they react to the soft voice, like how many newborn babies stop crying or how giving birth becomes, even a tiny bit, easy for the mother?”

“I think taking permission to play music in the surgery room is much harder than the first one, and the second is much harder for you to examine to results since you can’t be in the surgery room with the mothers—but playing soft music for newborn babies sounds cool, and smart too.” She purses his lips with a startling look on her face before turning her looks to the class, looking for another hand.

This time the hand that goes up leaves you with a frozen frame.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

He was definitely going to criticize your idea.

“I mean, before saying anything about my idea,” he cleared his throat before switching to a much more deeper voice tone of his. “About the last idea, from my friend, was very smart—though most of us don’t have opportunities that come from our parents.”

See?

He was playing with you.

He was trying to make you uncomfortable.

But, he wasn’t going to win over, again.

“Aren’t you the son of a CEO or something, Jeon?” You chastised, pursing your lips while the class fulls with the voices of approval and some ouch, she goaled in’s over and over again. “I am sure you can record your dad bickering to his employees with and without soft music too. Though if he’s like you, I don’t think that would make a huge difference for you to examine. Once a jerk, always a jerk—sorry, Mrs. Kim, for the language but I had to do it.”

His veins were throbbing in his neck second by second, with the anger that takes over his state. Lucky of you, the Professor takes over the fight before Jeon get to say something, probably something very offensive to you. “Maybe you can stop whatever this fight you’re making in my class, and just allow others to actually share their ideas,” she hollered. “Are you going to say something about your idea or not, Jungkook?”

“Yes, Professor,” he muttered, his jaw still clenching. “Though it may end up with me getting dismissed from the class, an idea is still an idea, am I right?”

She pouts, humming at Jungkook’s words. “As long as you don’t offer something illegal like taking drugs or something, you wouldn’t be dismissed.”

“I don’t think sex is illegal,” he dared from the blue, with a little smirk on his face. “And I think, besides from a few of us, it’s something that we try to do on a normal basis.” Jungkook, intentionally, looks over you and locks his eyes to yours when he mentions the ones that don’t get to lay.

That bastard.

“And if I’m allowed, I would want to choose how music affects the human orgasm—though, I don’t think I’m allowed to record it.”

He caught the Professor off guard by using the very well known voice tone that highlights the part that he's “probably” not allowed to do that—tyring to make her feel worse about how society still not ready to talk about sexual interactions.

Well played, Jeon Jungkook.

Well played.

“I mean,” she starts with a fooled voice. “Technically speaking, yes—you can record someone having sex with particular music playing in the background to see how that would affect the orgasm that they’ll receive and the quality of the act and all…” Professor stops for a while, trying to choose the right words. She presses his lips together, trying to be a serious woman and ignores the giggles in the class. “…But, ethically speaking—I don’t think that I’m allowed to give you the permission to record porn.”

He smirks than laughs bitterly, shrugging his one shoulder. “Oh! Come on, Mrs. Kim!” He huffed. “It’s not even porn, it’s just a recording of it. No visuals allowed, remember? If Y/N can record a woman giving birth then I think I can record being intimate with another person.”

“Seriously, Jungkook?” You bickered. “Did you really compared giving birth to having sex?”

“Yes, I did,” he hissed. “My idea is just as naked as yours, baby—and my idea is way better than anyone in this room,” Jungkook turns away from you to the Professor, who is still patiently listening you two bickering each other. “Besides, if we look at that from a Freudian perspective, it’s a good idea for us to add something to his studies that he did for a lifetime, didn’t he say something like how sexual drives must not be something we should be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation—and must be fulfilled in order to gain a psychosexual development?

"Are you really a psychology major, Jungkook?” You accused, exasperatedly sigh. “Because they are not exactly true!”

“Indeed, I am not a psychology major—I’m majoring in music and performing, and for your information, this is an elective class and we don’t really have to know much about Freud or some other psychologist in order to record a one-minute assignment, am I right?” He intentionally looks away to the Professor when he’s ending his sentence, all part of the act. “Do we really have to be so smart to succeed at the class, is that it?"

You’ve got to be kidding me.

She’s a Professor with a good academic background, there is no way that she’s going to fall for this crap.

Right?

"I mean—no, of course not,” Professor says, leaving you with all of your concerns about whether the majority of humanity is now un-saveable from Jeon Jungkook’s all staged acts. “And part of the information you gave about Freud was, technically, true. Though I can’t deny the fact that he did so much more studies about psychosexual development and in fact, even though he contributed that sex is the major driving force in human nature; he also realized that not everything was about sex and once commented, ‘sometimes a cigar is just a cigar’. But, Jungkook, if you’re asking and wondering about at the end whether if you are able to do it or not, the answer is—yes, you can record it. Although you can’t mention names in the record, and please don’t make us know the people, alright? That is, the only way that I can give you permission.”

Fuck Jeon Jungkook.

Fuck Jeon Jungkook and how smart his idea was.

Fuck Jeon Jungkook and how he got the permission he needed anyway.

“Freudian perspective my ass,” you whisper to the asshole next to you, in a voice tone that you’re absolutely sure that he’s the only one that can hear, not even the girl who’s still high and sleepy because of the orgasm she not so long ago received.

He crosses his arms, holding his one eyebrow up. “What is it that bothers you this much, my friend, do you want to contribute to my assignment by letting me taste that tight pussy of yours? Is that it? Are you that shy to ask me whether if you can be the lucky girl in my porn?”

That fucking brat.

“Haha,” you fake a sarcastic laugh. “I’m just…feeling overly insulted and angry about the institution that we’re in because you just got permission to record yourself fucking someone, and I believe that is—the only thing that you’re actually capable of. Fucking.”

“You can’t deny God’s gifts, my friend.” Jungkook chimed in.

You narrow your eyes at his disgusting choice of words. “See? Only a talentless fucking brat would say something like that. Gift? You’re calling the act of sticking your not-so-thicker than a pipe dick into someone as a gift? I can do that too with a proper dildo that I bought from a sex store, my friend.” You ended the argument with a faked tone of his voice, only to make him more offensive.

“Ah,” he hollered, doesn’t care about that the class was still, somehow continued. “You’re getting on my nerves, Y/N, you really are getting on my nerves. It’s been only thirty minutes that we started to speak to each other for the first time in our lives and you’re mentioning about my dick for the third time—and not in a good way that I would’ve wanted. You’re giving me no choice but to prove you wrong, it’s almost becoming a matter of life or death, mh?”

All of a sudden you noticed how you started to rub your thighs together, an exciting feeling giving momentum to your blood’s flowing, all the blame goes to Freud and his stupid works (and how he was right about the amount of urge we have to have sex). In a brief matter, you were—horny.

So fucking horny.

You don’t know if it was because how he kept tilting his head to the ground and how he tsked when he said the last sentence that he had no choice but to prove it to you, or how he was looking ridiculously flawless from close, I mean, really close—or both, but that was it.

You were horny.

Jeon Jungkook made you horny.

You could just go and eat shit and tell everyone that you eat shit and it tastes better, and it would still be better from any kind of confess that you may do about how Jeon Jungkook made you horny, in a psychology class, without even touching you. And again, he just fingered the shit out of a girl next to you, but that was not an excuse for you to almost drip right now.

“Already tongue-tied, are we?” He smirks in the most tempting way. “You couldn’t even get to hear me talking filthy, baby.”

You chimed in. “I’m literally trying to act like you don’t exist but, somehow, you always find a way to make me irritated and overly regretful that I took this class, thinking that it would be fun."

You were okay, it wasn’t happening, you were just horny because of the lack of any kind of sexual interaction with any kind of person for over months. If it wasn’t Jungkook and someone else, you would be the same.

Relax, breathe, you’re not that horny.

"Oh, I’ll make it fun.” He expressed. “Join me with the recording, mh?”

Maybe you are that horny.

But, not with Jungkook. No way in hell, you won’t be sleeping with the selfish, overly exaggerated frat boy that has been doing nothing but to seduce you, because that’s what fratboys do all the time. They see a girl that gives them the cold shoulder, they attack. You weren’t going to let Jungkook attack you.

“Hear this, brat,” you fumed. “As long as being recorded while having sex sounds appealing to me, both visually or audibly, I’m going to pass this offer—because no way that I am doing it with you. I can do porn with every human being in the world except a few of the prime ministers of a few countries and plus some hip-hop artists, I don’t fuck with fratboys either."

It wasn’t you talking, it was anger. Anger that comes fulfills you with being horny over Jeon fucking Jungkook. And that’s why you hurriedly gathered all of your stuff and left the class as soon as the Professor announced that the class was dismissed, not looking back nor listening to the answer that Jungkook gave to you as you were vanishing between people, with the tempting smile that he was giving you for ten minutes.

"Oh, we’re so doing this.”

He laughed.

You didn’t hear.

unknown number: im thinking drake’s own it

unknown number: do you have smthng in mind? i can consider

unknown number: just please make sure that i don’t think i’ll be that hard if we listen to some justin bieber shit and all

unknown number: not that i don’t like it,,but i was a hard fan, that shit still makes me cry

you: jungkook?

you: how did you find my number?

unknown number: asked for a friend of yours named tae

unknown number: we have common classes together

unknown number: said to him that we recently become duo over an assignment and had to find your number

unknown number: wasn’t lying to him tho

you: i said no to your offer

unknown number: i guessed your inner voice said something else ;)

you: just because im psychology major, psychological stuff doesn’t make me turn on

unknown number: i can make you turn on in the seconds baby

you: im just going to ignore all of your messages and happily entertain myself with my friends doing typical weekend stuff, thank you so much

unknown number: im downloading drake’s own it…just in case, and i have to charge my jbl for a better volume experience

“Tae,” you inhale a good amount of air to your irritated lungs, and exhale whilst fuming with anger, to the boy who happened to be your lifetime best friend. “Did you easefully give my number to the number one fuckboy of our University today?”

He pouts, a sudden feeling of guilt takes over his eyes. “Yes? He said that you were a team on an assignment or something?”

“No, we’re not. He just happens to be the guy who ceaselessly hits me for a fuck, hasn’t stopped since the class and now he’s texting me.”

“Sorry, baby,” he mutters. He stops for a second with eating his fries where you guys so happened to choose to have dinner at McDonald’s. “He just seemed so convenient. I know him from my music classes and Jungkook’s like…always scores the best, so if you guys were doing an assignment, I wouldn’t be so surprised.”

Your eyes getting wide, your mouth shaping as an “o” when Tae mentions the words “Jungkook” and “scoring the best” together. “Who?” You doubted. “Jungkook? Taking good grades? In this school?”

“Yeah, Y/N,” Tae addressed while rubbing his eyes. “He’s the smart one in the class. He signs and performs well, he can take high notes from written classes like you guys have together now, and—he can do notes higher than the written classes, which is also very surprising, he also dances well…and…um, he—”

You chimed in. “Tae, honey, your gay is showing. Wasn’t he the fratboy of that massive boy house or something?”

He narrows his eyes. “Yes? Just because he’s a fratboy, is it means that he must be dumb too? Your double standards are showing, Y/N.”

“I mean, yes, I’m being stereotyping over here,” you hollered. “But, remember the Park guy I met last year and how he turned out to be a complete dickhead? All Jungkook has been thinking was to fuck me into my oblivion and record the voices while doing it, nothing more!”

Taehyung tilts his head as his eyes get widen. “Recording? That’s some kinky shit."

You narrow your eyes.

"Oh, come on!” He takes a sip from his cola. “Loosen up a little bit! Give the boy a few points for his courage to actually being able to speak about his true intentions. Not all of the boys do it anymore. They love the act when they’re trying to win over some girl. And besides—what’s the harm of a kinky fuck without any kind of feelings attached? You’re wild as he is when it comes to rough sex. I know because you weren’t stopping about the guy you were fucking last year, which turned out very disappointed because you tried to add feelings to the formula. Never worked.”

“Thanks for enlightening my shameful dark past about how I got fooled around by a fratboy sweetdick for months, Taehyung,” you howled, faking a bitterly smile.

He smirks. “No problem, baby, what best friends are for, right?”

There were points where Taehyung was right about, obviously, because he was kind of always right about everything related to you. Today, they were: (1) the fact that you liked it rough (like, rough), and (2) the fact that no feeling attached kinky sex seemed an exciting option for your lack of sexual interaction with someone lately—and third was the fact that how the guy you were fucking turned out to be a complete disappointment but you were not going to add that to the list.

Taking a fry from the tray, you start to chew while thinking about how Jungkook seemed serious about recording the two of you, doing the thing for the assignment. And with how class listened to you two bickering to each other, they were never going to know who the girl is from the sound—and you really didn’t think that the Professor would make everyone in the class to listen to that porn, anyway. Not that you were so overly thinking about what other’s think, never did and never will be, there was just one person that you couldn’t keep it secret from. Yourself—and how you gave yourself a promise for not fucking with any of the fratboys before your graduation, ever again.

“Does he still texting you?” Tae asks with a concerned face, tightening his lips. “Really though, I should’ve asked you before giving your number to him.”

“I haven’t checked my phone, I’m guessing he’ll stop at some point though,” you went on. “It’s okay, by the way, I’m not mad or anything. Not at you anyway."

Taehyung starts to shake his head. "Wait, wait, wait.” He repeats the word over and over until he stops and points his finger right in front of your eyes. “You are considering his so kind offer…am I right?”

“No! What?” You blurted with a loud tone. “No fucking way! No—oh, fine, yes, a little.”

“I knew it!” He chews the remaining fries he has. “I knew it, really, I was almost—almost sure of it, but with you, I’m never fully sure. I bet you got wet as soon as he opened his true feeling about fucking you, and oh, wait, I bet you’re still wet!”

“Oh my god, we’re not having this conversation in a fucking McDonald’s, Taehyung!” You mumbled. “Just, maybe, okay? I got horny when he mentioned how he must prove himself to me about his skills and all that shit, I think. I had a fucking promise to myself, Tae! I was holding on to that little promise. I shouldn’t be even thinking about this but all I’m thinking how he would toss my weak body over his bedroom’s wall and how he would rip my clothes off of my body in a mere second. See? This is how much I’m whipped over him.”

“I think it’s cute,” he admits. “How you opening up to me in a fucking McDonalds, chewing the rest of the fries.”

You roll your eyes.

“Just kidding, baby.” Taehyung smiles fondly. “Text him that you’re taking his offer. Do whatever you want with him, or make him do it. Have fun a little bit! Text him that it’s sad that you’re drinking cola and not his cum.”

“Ew,” you gasp. “Please shut up.”

“Again, kidding.”

He wasn’t kidding at all.

You grab your phone which you so irritatedly made silent before tossing it up to your bag, and welcome the texts that you haven’t opened from the same number, this time with a title you not so thought about it.

that dickhead: own it by drake is ready and my jbl is charging (21.19)

that dickhead: oh i see (21.35)

that dickhead: … (21.40)

You open it, and type, not wanting to think about any coincidences for just today.

you: really? three dots? that’s your way of handling with rejection? (21.45)

that dickhead: rejection? was it really?

you: try any other sarcastic words over me and i might change my opinion about this

that dickhead: so,,is it a yes?

you: im not fucking while listening to drake, jungkook

that dickhead: you’re so lucky today that you can get the choose the song, it’s all for academic purposes, baby

you: yeah, yeah

you: your place or mine?

that dickhead: mine

that dickhead: [attached adress]

you: ok be ready in 20

There was something about all of this experience that you were having. Something that you cannot explain easily. You didn't know why you were so whipped for him with just a day and how that got you into this situation—where you have literally vanished into the cold spring night to take a taxi, a taxi that will take you to Jungkook's place. 

Of course Tae understood your situation, considering how many times he heard you bickering and complaining about your sex life lately (or the lack of it), and how you weren't ready for any kind of relationship and starting a new relationship just to get laid seemed so unfair to you and the possible partner, so that was never an option for you. He was always offered you to one-night-stands, and let's say that he helped with it too, but they weren't that good—and you couldn't even come as you wanted to. You didn't know if you could come with Jungkook, and you were really serious about everything you've said about fratboys, you weren't going to take back what you've said, but—you had this different feeling, an excitement, a thrill, some anticipation that you got all from him. A silent, almost can't hearable, sound in your brain was telling you that, indeed, you weren't doing the mistake of your life by taking that taxi.

So it was happening. It was really happening according to the taxi driver's navigation status which said that "destination in 5 minutes" and the text that came from your best friend.

mytae: text me tomorrow! with details pls ;)

It was, happening, and surprisingly, you didn't feel any regret or fear flowing through your body.

It was—pure excitement with a good amount of wetness that was coming from your cunt.

That bastard.

You knocked on the door.

"Password?" A voice, his voice, called from inside.

"What password?"

"Password?"

"You didn't give me the password, bastard."

He was still playing with you. "Password?"

You weren't going to fool around with his stupid games. "Oh, then I have no choice but to leave if you don't open this goddamn door because I'm really horny right now and—"

"Correct," he opened the door, a casual black short sleeve t-shirt and a pair of black sports pants were on him which you had to give a few points to the look because you've always liked the sportive look on hot guys. "It was horny." He smirked as he opened the door for you to come in.

"Really, Jungkook?" You narrowed your eyes at him, a blush appearing on your cheeks, not that you were ashamed or something because today was all about not being ashamed, right? "You were making me doubt my choices there."

He crossed his arms together, a beautiful vein appearing on his left arm. He didn't seem that build up in the outside, or it was just you never giving any attention to how Jungkook actually looked like before. Maybe he was always that strong, built, muscular pig. "Y/N?"

He took a step to you, and one step again when he said your name again. He didn't say anything even though you quietly said "hm?" to his calling, both times. He was giving you a little hard time there, minimizing the place left between you and his door. He lowered his voice for the third time, making your back hit the wall. "Y/N, you see..." He whispered. "What you've been doing to me since this morning is to make me feel small about myself. That's why you're always acting like you're the one who holds the ropes, right? Always sticking your nose in things to make my day worse, and always trying to end the conversation with your scores up to the ceiling while mines are off the ground? Hmm?"

You wanted to tell something, anything, but as you felt his body touching you in front, making the two of you almost one body while your back is against the wall. (And, his perfume mixed with his natural skin smell wasn't helping at all) So, you couldn't say anything and stared right in the middle of his tempting, doe-eyes while he was squeezing them to give it a serious meaning.

He holds his one arm up and places right next to your head, on the wall. The other one was in his pockets, and because he was also squeezing it very hard, the veins were making you scared. Jungkook tilts his head as he leans to your level in front of the wall. "You like people when they think that you're some kind of ice queen, giving the fratboys cold shoulder because you don't want them to know the truth."

"And what truth it may be?" You quietly asked, in an almost whispering way, stuttering because of the excitement of him being so near to you.

He leans to your left ears now, touching it softly with his lips, sending shivers down your spine. "That you're so head over heels for me to fuck you so shamelessly that you just came here less than thirty minutes. You're that type, the type that addicted to the feeling of giving yourself to someone else but, all without closed doors. Because you don't want anyone to know who fucks your pussy that good."

"Mmh," you whine, chewing on the flesh of your bottom lip. "And who will fuck this pussy that good?" You teased, putting one of your hands to his stomach to feel his abs. He was muscular, indeed, and from this perspective where you were feeling small about yourself since he was standing in front of you with his intense, strong frame.

You felt a big amount of coldness that almost making your fingers turn purple, and you weren't sure if it was the coldness that was coming from the naked wall or how he was acting like he will turn you to a complete mess in seconds. He takes the hand which he was hiding his pocket and quickly puts on your ass with a quiet spanking manner, giving you no choice but to groan to that a little. "You see, since this is all academic purposes, and knowing that we cannot use our real names in the recording, we should use something different. And, believe me, as long as I would be completely fluttered if you say my name over and over again as I keep pounding into you, very deeply, I think for today you should go with the daddy instead."

A little whine escaping your lips as you hear the word "daddy" coming from his plumped lips from licking them every few seconds or so, Jungkook realizes how that is entertaining you and smirks with the feel of the joy. "I always knew that you had the daddy kink, by the way, it can be read through your gaze while you look at me."

"Hmm?" You groan. "And what are you going to call me today?"

He squeezes your butt with a wild manner, his eyes never leaving yours. "Oh, there are so many names today that I will call you with. You see, I always use baby with girls like you are," he spanks your ass while saying you baby. "If we were going to vanilla, I would call you princess," he spanks again. "But given the situation now, and how you whipped for my cock like this," one more. "I would probably use more of a needy slut since you are one." One more. "What else? Cocksucker, because you're going to get all of it." One more. "Whore, because you'll be a one in my bedroom, baby." Two more this time. One when he calls you whore, and another with the baby. "Are they enough, or do you want me to keep going with it?" He asks, his gaze on your ass, feeling a little sore from all the spanking but it was good that you had clothes on, which was going to change soon or later.

"Y-yes," you answer, feeling high because of all the sensations going on.

He lets go of you, gives a permission for you to finally breathe and to see his apartment for the first time really, since all his been doing was getting over and over you with his muscular frame, giving you no room for to see anything but his tempting eyes, burning from the think about what will going to happen the two of you.

His apartment was small, yet it seemed enough for him, and it looked like he was living alone. Predictable, since he always had some company within. "So, about the assignment," he starts, taking the hand he used to spank you to his hair, giving them a messy look. "I am really going to record us, so help me with the song, babygirl."

His voice much huskier, in a much more tempting way, of course. "Since you need two versions of the record, you should open the recording in the middle of it or something."

"Oh, we won't be needing that, babygirl." He explained. "We need your voice while you're having your orgasm, one with music and one without music. And I'm planning to fuck you more than one, or two, or maybe three. Making sure that all of the things you've said about my fingers and my cock was nothing but a lie."

Jeon Jungkook never likes to lose, that was something you got from his behaviors, and how he didn't like it when he loses something—how his eyes got darken and widen every time, almost like he disguising to someone else you've never seen before.

He doesn't give you a chance to realize your surroundings, and indeed, he never loses his oh-I'm-so-gonna-destroy-you posture, still staying right in front of you like a shadow that won't go away.

You gulped. "You know," you managed to say, out of breath. "I wouldn't mind if you just skip to the part when you use that cock of yours which you never shut up to me about how I would be wrong in the end."

"Is that so?" He asks before, finally, attaches his lips to yours. The kiss is lacking every emotion except desire, lust, and excitement. It's almost so dirty to talk about that even thinking about just kissing his soft lips in the most ambitious way you can, you're getting wetter and wetter. You climb over his embrace, bounding your arms together in the back of his neck as he lays down to grab your ass in his strong hands to take you on his lap. He holds to your asscheeks as he finds his comfort with tossing you over the wall of his apartment's hall, not so carefully carrying you to his bedroom.

You two keep kissing each other, and at one point his tongue ways his way into your throat right after his teeth grabs and captures your bottom lip like it his meal for today. (He was lucky that his meal was something else, though.) He takes no time to waste as he grabs your shirt to undress, still taking small steps as he carries you to his bedroom. You take the hint and hurriedly put your arms up, tossing your shirt somewhere in the hall.

You don't really see, but it's predictable that he amazes that you choose the sexiest, lacy black bra you had in your wardrobe. His attention for your lips suddenly vanishes as he takes his few last steps to the bedroom, hurriedly opens his door and tosses you onto the bed. He doesn't fucking care when he climbs over you to embrace your breasts over your bra, and he wants them off—he surely does, but Jungkook wants to take his time a little because he knows that it is the first and the last time that he will get playing with you. He leaves a few soft kisses first, taking his time with them after suddenly biting the sensitive skin on you.

"Mhh," you groan. "If you hated the bra that much, you could've just said so..."

"I hate every fucking clothing you have on you right now, babygirl."

"Rip them then."

He doesn't do it—even though he wants to, oh god, he really wants to, Jungkook always liked the foreplay.

A soft laugh escapes from his lips, swollen a bit from all the hungry and sloppy kisses you gave him. He stands up from the bed, his legs still capturing you like an animal that shouldn't be escaped. "I will now start the record, ready?"

You nod as he grabs his phone and opens the voice recordings. He touches the red button and places his phone to the bedside table. Then Jungkook turns over to you, still standing up, and he grabs and takes his black shirt of off him, swiftly launches the clothing away from the bed. He takes no time to grab your lips again, pinning your arms behind the bed. "From now on, you can call me daddy," he whispers to your ears as he grabs the flesh of your ear into his teeth. "And if you tell me anything different than what you have to say, you'll get punish."

You whine under this asset, your eyes turn to his body from his evil-like eyes, carefully and slowly capturing every second with his toned abs. He commands, "Eyes on daddy, babygirl. He's going to open the buttons of your pants now."

You're loving how he sounds deeper, huskier in a hegemonic manner. You moan when he touches your belly with his cold hands, sending shivers down your spine. He slowly leans over to you to open the button. You note that how he also liked teasing in somewhere in your brain. You help him to take off your pants, leaving you with your underwear only and you try to stand up to do the same to him, but he just hits your hand hard.

"No-no," he mouthed.  "Let's just play with your tight pussy of yours to make it ready for my cock, babygirl. Then you can have a taste of my dick too, this, if you behave though."

Okay, now, you sure know that you haven't been this wet at all. You don't know if it's your lack of sex life, or how long since you had someone doing oral to you, (again, most of your one-night-stands didn't want to use their tongues that much.) or just how Jungkook was hot and arrogant and sexy when he was dominating. (All of the above, was the answer.)

You groan as his hand traveled down to your panties, using his one finger to test out the wetness over your panties. "God, you're soaking." He smirks as he peeks his one finger beneath your wetness. His eyes get wide with the feeling of your wetness coating his finger. "Babygirl, are you sure that you can't get wet over fratboys, huh?"

He still likes to play. You roll your eyes at him. "You sure are a mood breaker."

Jungkook doesn't like when you misbehave, and he takes your comment as something to be punished as he inserts his finger very deep without a warning.

"Ju-daddy," you gasp, out of breathing, arching your body to the pillow to gain strength. "Mmh!"

"I'm sure that your mood now is unbreakable, babygirl. You're literally soaking right now, all for me, huh?"

You don't—can't—answer to him as he adds another finger in, both in very deep, and all you can do is squirm under his touch. Jungkook seems like to enjoy the view of you, desperate for his touch under the dim light that he prepared for you, soft moans escaping from your lips as his telephone records all of the sweet sounds that you're making for him. Though, he wanted you to answer to him, so he just pulls his fingers from your cunt, leaving you high and dry. (not that dry, anyway)

"What the hell?" You roared.

"I asked a question, slut." Jungkook scowls, but still takes one of his hands to remove your panties off of your legs, leaving you with your bra and nothing left. "And when I ask you a question," he pats to your pussy. "I want an answer." He pats again, this time in a harder way. "And if I don't get the answer I want," he stops for a second to see your sensitive full of red pussy. "I become very angry, and you get a punishment, okay?"

You nod madly. "Yes!"

"So, babygirl, tell me," he softens his voice, but his eyes still scream over. "Will you remember who's in charge today? Will you behave for your daddy? Because he's a little bored and he wants to play with your pussy so, so much for a long time today."

"Yes!" You scream desperately.

"Yes, who, baby?" Jungkook smirks like the brat he is.

"Yes, daddy! I'll behave! Just please, please do something. With your fingers or your tongue, it doesn't matter. Just, touch me, daddy, please." You keep going with your whine as he likes the see you begging for him.

"I like it when they beg," he hums and captures one of your legs onto his shoulders, pushing you back to the surface of the bed while he places himself to the entrance of your pussy. It was still swollen, and red from all of the pats he had given. "But I liked it more when you begged."

He thrust his two fingers back where they are, hitting your g-spot relentlessly, his fingers going deeper and deeper now. You groan, whine, scream and all of the above when he adds his tongue to the formula. Your eyes roll back, your head hits the pillow as you fall back with bliss flowing through your veins. He kept his pace with his tongue, hitting that sweet spot on your pussy while his fingers still thrusting their way into it. You like it, you like it way too much that you swear this is some of the best orals you've ever got so far. "Mmmh, m-more," you squirm as your breath kept losing its pace. "Please, daddy."

"You like it too much, hmm?" Jungkook takes his tongue out to breathe, his fingers still buried deep inside of you. He uses his other hand to grab your breast over the bra, pulling the material off of your skin so that he can access what lays beneath. He pulls one of your nipples very painfully, but the pain only made you feel more blissful. Your groans get louder as he kept his one hand pinching your nipple and the other to finger you, a playful smirk on his face. "Now you regret that you didn't get to be fingered in the class today, right?"

"Mmh," you groan as you feel your nipple getting sore as hard as your pussy is. "I-I-I am."

"Maybe next time I finger you in class, you needy slut. Look at you, you're too desperate for my fingers. You already look like a mess, babygirl. Do you think you can take my cock today?" This time Jungkook doesn't wait for an answer as he dives into your cunt with his tongue again.

"Mhh, I will, daddy." You answer anyway, since he politely asked for you to behave. The sensations you were feeling came to a situation that you were feeling close now. His finger still playing with your nipple, rubbing it, pulling it mercilessly as pain and satisfaction both flowing through your body. His fingers were getting deeper and deeper as they could find their way with your juices helping them to, and his tongue—oh, god, his tongue—he was making you a complete mess and kept his pace until your eyes rolled over with complete bliss. He noticed how your breathing almost became like you were about to faint and slowly stopped his pace by giving your pussy soft kisses.

"Does my babygirl wants to come on my tongue, hm?" Jungkook asks, turns his face to your complete wrecked frame.

"Y-y-yes, da-daddy." You scream as much as you can.

You don't see but know that he is smirking as his eyes get the best view of you, all wrecked and red, covered with your own juices that happened to be only because of him. "Come then, daddy feels so thirsty now, babygirl. Give daddy all of you can and come on my tongue like the slut you are, babygirl. Don't hold back." Your eyes open like they were about to explode there, you groan and scream in a delightful way as soon as your orgasm hits you for the first time (of course, not last) today, you grab the sheets as your cum run to his tongue and then everywhere, and you couldn't help but squirm all over the sheet like you were holding that for five years inside of you.

"Shit, baby, you made such a mess," Jungkook adds as he glances over the sheet, looking at the masterpiece you've created in the bed. "I never thought that you were the squirter type, though."

"I thought that too," was all that you could say, still trying to find a way to breathe, properly, again.

He licks the cum off of his fingers, acting like he's having a dessert thanks to you, your cum covering his beautiful mouth. "Was it your first then?"

"Squirming? Yeah, fuck, definitely," you laugh a little with the pleasure that you were still feeling in every spot of your body. "Was it weird?"

"It was so hot," he laughs back. "Look at what the brat you couldn't shut up and bicker for non-stop for the whole day did to you, you loud slut. I'm sure everyone in the apartment now knows who fucked you that good."

"I wasn't allowed to call you by your name though," you pout, still acting for the game. "They still don't know."

"They can figure. If not, we can continue to fuck after this recording shit."

You gain your breathing again, and as long as you feel like you're capable to do so, you climb over the bed where Jungkook sits, and make him move over where you were a minute before when you were moaning under his touch.

"I want to suck your dick, Jungkook," you say, knowingly mentioning his name. He was going to edit the record anyway, so he could just take off the part when you said his names. Besides, the recording must include two orgasms—one with music and one without the music. So you were guessing that he would just use the times when his dick is buried deep inside of you. "I want to feel it deep down in my throat. Will you let me suck it babyboy?"

He was taking a back, eyes widen as his eyebrows go up with your sudden role change. "Did you call me babyboy?" He asked, mimicking your way of saying it. Jungkook liked being dominant, in every way that he can, actually—and he haven't acted in a submissive role for so, so long now. Albeit, he liked how you used the tone you've never used since all of the play now, and all of a sudden you're up on him and begging in a way that you're the one who says the rules there. He likes it, he likes it too much.

"I did," you whisper into his ears as you push him to the mattress, finding your place on his lap where you can feel the hardness of his cock. "Now, babyboy, do you want me to take of the problem with your cock, because it keeps rubbing itself to my pussy. I think he needs attention. Use your words."

"Oh, fuck, baby, yes!" Jungkook whines as his dick getting harder and harder beneath your naked pussy.

You quickly go up to take off his pants to reveal him but as long as you touch the sides of his sports pants, you stop and stare at him. "I said use your words, describe what you want. I don't think yes is an option here, babyboy. I'm getting mad here, you know?"

He was surprised, his mouth agape with your sudden change of attitude. "Please suck my cock. Take it, deepthroat it, do something, please!"

You laugh to how tables can be turned in seconds, and it was a perfect view of Jungkook laying desperately for your touch, making you wetter and wetter again. "Okay, since you screamed out so loudly..."

You grab onto his pants' sides, pulling them over with his boxer as well, only to be welcomed by his thick, erected member which was coated by the pre-cum because of all the rubbing it did, and even maybe your dirty talking and him coating with your cum made his this way. You don't know, nor care and you don't waste any time to grab his dick between your hands, throbbing it a few times to use his pre-cum as a cream, sloppy sounds echoing in the small room while you keep your pace. All, of course, was to make him ready to have your tongue on it. So when you do start to lick his cock's head, he lets outs a loud groan and his head falls back to the pillow. "F-fuck, baby, your tongue feels amazing."

"Mhh," you moan, your tongue still playing with the head, your eyes having a wonderful view of his hardened cock, all ready for you to release. You start with his length and lick all the way to the up, and when you're on the top of his dick for the third time in one minute, you surprise him with tucking all of the length—in once—to your throat. "F-fuck!" He screams in a delightful way that makes you think that you're doing good. "Babyy, do that again, p-please."

"Do what babyboy?" You tease Jungkook. One of your hand capturing his balls, massaging to them as he moans and moans in a loud way again. "Words. Remember?"

"F-fuck," he whines desperately. "Get it all the way in, please. Take all of my cock like you did, baby."

"Mhh, fine, then." You lean over to his dick again, and all of a sudden you take it into your mouth, this time as deep as you can. He notices how deeper you're trying to go and he appreciates that. His sweet little noises becoming deeper and huskier with you trying to go deep with him. He peeks to your wrecked frame, your eyes getting teary with his cock hitting your throat. Jungkook swears that it's the most beautiful scene he ever saws in his entire life, and he never wants it to end.

"Ba-baby," he manages to say. "I'll come if you don't stop doing that. And I, I really want to come into your pussy today."

You don't know if it's because he saw you getting a hard time there, or if it was really that he wanted to come into you, (sure, he could just come twice but anyway) but you appreciated when he suddenly takes his cock of off from your mouth and toss you over to the mattress where he is now upon you.

"Your domination is now over, babygirl."

Or it was just because five minutes of being submissive was enough for him for a lifetime or so. You don't mind at all, as long as you liked being dominant in time to time—you liked being submissive more, with Jungkook anyway. And you're again, full of appreciation when he finally opens that bra of yours to toss it over to the side. Jungkook likes playing your breasts, more, your nipples. He likes how easy the formula is, the more you pinch and pull and toss the nipple, they are more sensitive—and needy, to be exact. So he keeps doing that while getting a condom from his drawer. He fondly opens the package and wears it—he doesn't like to use one, though since it's a one-time thing, he knows that he must be careful. (But he'll be very happy if you guys can do one without a condom, even if it's later)

"Do you think you can do two more orgasms, babygirl?" He dares, his one hand still playing with your breast, while the other one tastes your wetness in your pussy. "Mhh, still so, so, so wet for me," Jungkook smirks as soon as his fingers get coated with your cum from your first orgasm. "I think...with that amount of wetness, you can hold on for a three more."

Your eyes get widen. "Three? I don't th—"

Your words get interrupted as he, without any warning, finds his way into your pussy. "Agghh!" You don't hold back your screams, nor your moans and let it all out while he tries to adjust his size into you. Your sweet sounds vanish as your screams take its place in the action while he finally stops when he's satisfied with the position: your legs on top of his shoulders, back arching to the mattress.

"You okay?" He concernedly checks, and when you nod mercilessly, he takes the answer and starts to pound into you. He's slow first, still trying to find his pace, and—oh, god when he does, he never stops pounding into you like a madman.

"Y-yes, yes, yes!" You scream so loudly again while he keeps thrusting into you in an impossible way, his hands reach to your arms to pin them over to the back of the bed. That way, he thinks that he can control everything in the world. That way, he knows that he fucks you in a delightfully incredible manner, and in that way, he never wants to stop.

Your eyes roll back and close a little bit, and when Jungkook notices that, he's a little bit fumed because he wants to see your eyes when he's pounding into you this hard. He wants to see the tears that will come out from your eyes and he wants to see you while you're having your second orgasm. "Eyes on the daddy, baby." Jungkook grabs your chin to make you force to look at to his eyes. Looking directly into his deep brown eyes doesn't help you with the situation because as soon as you open your eyes, you feel your orgasm coming. The pleasure and the pain are overtaking your whole body and with his every thrust the pain vanishes and replaces with bliss.

"I'm close," you manage to say between your hard breathing. You're almost sure that he doesn't hear, but he does, but he's just close as you are that he can't answer back immediately.

"Me too, baby." He answers back as he jerks on top off you, the voices of your skin's slapping each other and screams are doing much worse that he's not going to last.

You want to get over with and try to take back one of your hands to rub your clit but as soon as he understands what you're up to, he pushes your hand away and places it where it was before. "You're coming with my cock this time, slut. You're going to scream so much that every time when I listen to this record, I will remember you bickering me about my dick and laugh with memories of that screams."

You're feeling your orgasm coming as he keeps pounding into you. "J-jun..daddy! I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"Come slut, scream as loud as you can so everyone will hear."

And soon enough the time slows with your second orgasm approaching, trails of fire and bliss taking over you while you dissolve into pleasure. Jungkook doesn't stop his pace, not even slows down, and he keeps his truths hard and fast, chasing his own orgasm. He doesn't come that easily, and he never thinks about slowing a little bit when you start to feel sensitive about the situation. Your sore pussy cries over the overstimulation that it received, and with every thrust, it feels more painful.

"Kook," you managed to say, hardly breathing. "It hurts."

"You can and you will take it, you loud whore," Jungkook commands. "You still have to come two more times, one with music on, remember?"

You try to relax as he keeps its pace stable, the pain slowly vanishes and leaves its place to pleasure. You stop saying anything and fall back to the pillow as you listen to his pounding sounds and moans which felt like a piece of music to your ears.

"Look at you, almost coming for the third time today while I haven't got to come once," Jungkook smirks as he fastens his movements into you. And thinking how good he was taking care of you today, you feel like you're approaching your third orgasm for the day. Between your groans and moans, Jungkook's breath sounds like he's becoming undone in seconds too. "Babygirl," he jerks as he approaches his orgasm. "I'm so close."

"Come, Jungkook," you encourage him. "Come inside me."

Jungkook's eyes getting bigger as his fresh warm cum loading the condom inside of you. You keep saying his name over and over again, (doesn't give a fuck about the record since you already got an orgasm without his name) screaming "Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook!" as your third orgasm takes over you.

Both of you extremely tired and out of breath, he lays down on top of you for a while to maintain his breathing. The sweat from his hair drops to your neck and face, he looks like he just got off from the shower. Little moans that escaping after the sex you just had still echoing through the room, Jungkook turns over and tosses himself next to you, you don't see but you're almost sure that he's smirking like a little brat. "We still have to do one more, for the assignment."

"Ugh, I'm so sore." You say between your still-not-stable breaths. Jungkook takes his condom off and gets up from the bed to toss it into the trash. "Can you get me something to clean?"

"Why?" He turns back with shocked eyes. "For your last orgasm, I need that wetness, babygirl."

Suddenly you feel that Tae was right about how determined Jungkook was about his grades, and now he was insisting on that assignment, and he was sure having fun with your wrecked state. "Fine," you accept. "What music we're playing?"

"I said before, I'm saying again," Jungkook sassed. "You choose."

"Mmh, the Weeknd, maybe?"

"The Weeknd it is." Jungkook approves as he gets up from the bed to turn on his computer which was connected to his speaker. He wasn't lying about how he was preparing his speaker, and it was, kind of cute that he really did charge it. "Any song?"

"I know all of their songs, play something that sounds sexy."

"Okay."

He searches for a song there, taking his time for a while, probably adding songs to queue.

"I still can't believe that you got that permission, after all, Jungkook," you admit, lying naked on his bed, coated with your own come. "We're literally recording asmr porn here."

He cracks a little, joyful laugh over the laptop. His body is leaned over his desk, the dim light slightly touches his soft skin, he's coated in his own sweat because of the mess you've created together, his hair drops to his face and sticking a little to his forehead. He looks extremely hot like this, his body giving you a great view with his toned abs and still a little hard dick. Suddenly, you think that you have to stop thinking about how gorgeous he looks because again, he's extremely dangerous for you.

No feelings attached. You remember.

So you just take your time with his god-like appearances.

That wouldn't hurt, right?

"You're lying in my bed, Jeon Jungkook's, with your hair messy and your skin sweaty, wrecked because of what I did to you a few minutes before after all of the things you've said to me earlier today and how you wouldn't ever, ever fuck with me and you still can't believe that I got the permission to record porn?" He comes to bed after opening the list he just prepared. "I think you can already figure out that I can get whatever I want."

He's not wrong, indeed, he's overly right with this one.

That the Jeon Jungkook can get whatever the hell he wants.

The song keeps going in the background, getting you into a mood already, and it's not a very hard thing when Jungkook is playing with your hair, his elbow places on the mattress and he's getting the strength he needs from it. It almost, almost, feels like a romantic scene, but again, you know that it's not what you would think. (And you don't want to think at all) So, it leaves him almost surprised when you start the round this time.

"You're getting the first record from your dick buried deep inside of me, right?" You ask as you toss over to place yourself on his lap. He helps you to find your place with his hands on your sides, Jungkook leans over the pillow for a better view of your already wrecked body.

"Mhh," he groans as a yes. "So?"

"I'm thinking the second must be like that too." You smirk as you start to rub your clit to his naked member.

He likes it too much that he gets quickly hard beneath your ass. The cums you had inside of you still there, making all of the rubbings together thing easier for you. "Buried deep inside of you? I like that." He gets one of his hand from your sides to your clit, rubbing it to make you more ready for the next one.

But you've thought something more appealing for him, so he's extremely surprised when you push his hand away and takes his cock into your hands to place into you. His opens his as much as he can, a passionate moan leaving his soft lips which you haven't kiss enough, and he's still thinking about why you would want to ride him bare?

"Baby, I haven't wear a condom." He states, but you already know.

You lean over to his lost state and kiss his lips passionately before whispering to his ears that will make him eager to answer back. "I haven't slept with anyone for a long time, I’m using birth control for over a year now, and if you used protection every time then—"

"Yes! I always use one. I haven't fucked bare for months." He's too eager to make it happen that it almost sounds cute to your ears.

"Then I want your cum inside of me this time, very deep inside, daddy, please?"

You don't have to ask again.

He helps you to have the way you're comfortable with and waits until you're all the way up. You're already out of breathing while trying to ride him, and the view of your nor his doesn't help you both with the situation. Little moans escaping your lips as you start to fasten a little bit, one of Jungkook's hand is playing with your breasts while the other one is stable on your hip to help you. "You okay?" He softly asks.

You toss your head in the back with a delightful feeling that comes with riding him. "Mhh," you moan for an answer.

Jungkook, on the other hand, takes the answer to start his thrusts into you, slowly first but never again, until he chases the fast route he wanted—which is making you breathless in a way that you can't even say anything, only sweet little (sometimes louder) moans escaping your lips. You holding onto his shoulders with every hit that he gives, and every time you almost think that he can't go any more fast and deep but every time he does. Your head can't even stay stable, and which each thrust it goes back and comes again, and one time when you come back to his gaze only to see him smirk.

He started to speak with stopping for each thrust that he made. "I...was...hoping...for...to fuck...you bare...one day," he was getting out of breath with the feeling of you riding him and that he was bare inside of you. "Got...you...well...prepared...didn't I?"

"Y-yes! D-daddy!" You were getting out of breath too as he kept fucking you viciously. "You're, mmh, so good!"

"You too, babygirl, you feel amazing like this," he kept his pace in a mad-like manner as he finds your sweet spot to pound in a much, much harder way as if that was possible to do so. You kept riding him as your hands held him tightly, finding your strength over his shoulders. He pushed back again, and again, and again—only to wreck you completely. "I fucked you for...long...time, how can you be...this tight, fuck?"

You screamed out while music bursting through your ears. "So...good, fuck, I'm...not...gonna," you managed to say, out of breath, dissolving into your pleasure again as your orgasm approaching you.

"Make a mess again...babygirl," he groaned as you spilled your cum again, this time he was able to feel them on his dick inside of you. He held you as he knew that you needed help, but still pounding into you with a feeling of your warm liquid this time, and it felt so amazing that you were all around him. You were still tight and warm, looking absolutely gorgeous on top of him, wrecked and full of sweat, your mouth still agape from the overstimulation you had today. He finds his way to the crook of your neck, first to hold you because he was a little scared that you were going to faint in some point, and two because he never get to kiss you from there and he didn't want to regret tomorrow. He kept his pace into you as his breaths go crazy, a sign for his orgasm, and a few seconds later you felt his thrust getting slower as he kept moaning and groaning in your ears while his orgasm taking over him for the second time today. (it was the best he had, though)

You felt your sleep taking over you as soon as you tossed over to be inside of the bed, but you weren't going to sleep over since it wasn't part of the deal. Albeit, you were kind of sure that at least he must give you one hour to be ready to walk or breathe again. You close your eyes for a bit, listening to the songs he chooses for the act, and when you open your eyes you see that jungkook wasn't there.

It only takes him three minutes for to come again, and you can't even open your eyes to look at him but you sure that he's there because someone is cleaning the cum inside of you. "Thank you, you didn't have to," was all you can say and even with that, you're not sure if he's able to hear it.

"You were going to regret it in the morning." He murmurs, he also having hard times with breathing as well. "Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?"

"I can just go, you know..."

"Naked or clothed?" He doesn't listen.

"Shirt, please."

Next week, on Friday, the day you have Sound Psychology, you're a little nervous that you're going to see Jungkook again. Not that you guys had something between, not even a little bit of weirdness happened. You slept, you woke up. He was already up and got you some coffee, you chatted a little. He offered you a shower, you kindly accepted before leaving his apartment. It was, almost, normal. No weirdness. No feelings.

But for the class, you're a little nervous that you are going to see him.

So, when you enter the class, Jungkook doesn't help you with your situation when he simply greets you. "Hi, Y/N."

"Hi."

"Ready to listen to the masterpiece I've created? It took me hours to edit that, and the paper I wrote, was the best part of the assignment."

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

"Are you sure that the Professor will make us listen to that in class?"

"I mean, probably no? I asked if you want to listen though."

"Oh," your eyes get widen. "Ah, that, right."

He looks like he's a little bit broken since you weren't that hyped over the recording. Maybe he was thinking if you were regretting it, which you didn't at all, but it was just thinking of listening to your own sex sounds sounded very weird. "If you're uncomfortable with it, I can just—"

"—No, no..." You manage to say. "Um, you can maybe, send me? I don't think I can listen to that here, you know."

He laughs like he understands what you mean. "Oh? Right, sorry."

Your weird conversation gets interrupted as Professor Kim starts to talk.

"So...everyone," she starts the conversation directly looking into Jungkook's eyes. "Since everyone is exciting about Jeon's assignment, and how that went for me to grade, I would want to speak about that before the class. For ethical reasons, and how I want to keep feeding my family with my job, I'm sorry that we're not going to listen to his record, but let me say that—it was, unexpectedly interesting to hear, and well done."

You exhale a good amount of breath by knowing how you won't be listening to that in class, where everyone is seated.

"But, Jungkook, as long as I still think that you just wanted this particular subject to fool around with, you'll be surprised when I say that this is also an interesting area to study more, but I know that wasn't your intention—the human orgasm, I mean...anyway, you got an A with that assignment, and with that I think you're one of the first students in this University to get an A with a porn recording..."

You don't hear anything she says later, because the message that has been sent to your phone made your thoughts go away somewhere very, very interesting to dream about.

that dickhead: you think we can do a version 2 with my voice playing in the background

that dickhead: again, only for academic purposes

so, i haven’t proofread and all, but let me know how that goes for you! this happens to be my first graphic smut lol

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook smut #bts #bts jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x reader

[739337369137371082]

Hey so I found u thru the Halved Live Funnies and I gotta ask... whose Leon? What series these dudes from?

i got this ask and then forgot about it for like 2 days. anyways.

IVE ANSWERED THIS BEFORE BUT. GOD. LEON. ok so like....... long story short last year was when i first played resident evil........ bc we got a copy of re2remake in and.... jesus christ. i hyperfixated so fucking hard for the better part of a year going on into this year. and then i watched hl/vr and well. we know where that went. but now i am once again hyperfixated and now im back to where i was in like.... june of last year LMAO. but anyways i am once again going to ramble under the cut about them <3 (seriously. its very long and doesnt go much of anywhere. also spoilers)

tl/dr:

OK. SO. resident evil. the last time i answered this ask i either hadnt played some of them or just completely forgot the plot of others LOL but now upon beating/playing a large majority of them (besides 6 which i have not touched yet, and 7 is first person and im not rly interested in it rn)...... well others have said this as well but if you like cheesy b action movies you would love resident evil!!! 

the orig 1-2 are more survival horror which is what i like the most. 3 is where it starts branching into more actiony stuff but is still survival horror. but 4 and after is just like..... cheesy action stuff which is fine but not really like.... my thing. altho i do think that they are fun in a “this plot is hilariously bad” type way because i do enjoy horrible things. but people who like resident evil dont like it for the plot they like it for the characters. and for me i latched the fuck onto leon kennedy and tyrant t-00 aka mr fucking x

listen.......... you guys know me relatively well enough to know that i have a type......... and i would define leon as not really fitting under it usually because he is 1. under 6 foot 2. human and 3. very much not a villain. but something about (mostly remake) leon hits fucking different!!!!!! hes kind and means well, thinks about others constantly, looks like an actual fucking person in the in game graphics instead of being some manufactured perfect model, nice voice, etc....... i fucking care him so much. also gameplay wise i find his weapons to be more enjoyable than claires so i always end up playing his route/2nd route the most compared to hers. but i do also like claire :) shes nice and epic

i dont really like the newer leons (4 and afterwards) as much.... i mean a lot of it has to do with trauma and general “growing up” after what happened in re2 but hes just so constantly... snarky? jaded? constantly spouting lines to make him seem cool? when in my head hes very much like... a loser LMAO. i mean dont get me wrong hes a badass. he survives a fucking zombie outbreak and nearly gets murdered dozens of time. thats the definition of badass. but also you cannot change my mind that hes also a anxious loser twunk. there is literally nothing you can do to convince me he is “cool” like the games and movies want to think. this is probably heresy to re fans but this is my truth

https://youtu.be/aVZWuSfGStk?t=129

here is a vid of his cutscenes. obvious spoilers in there but you can skip around and see how cute he is. also yes in his first cutscene he is listening to butt rock. i switch between thinking hes just listening to it because nothing else is on the radio or his taste really is that terrible

also you literally CANNOT convince me that he is straight. the games try SOOOOO hard to get you to ship leon/ada or leon/claire but like...... i cannot see it. he has one of the gayest run animations i have ever seen in re2 remake and i mean... he just radiates gay trans man energy to me. also please look at this small scene from one of the animated movies where a licker jumps on top of him and he wraps his legs around its hips and lifts it off of him to not die. gay king

https://youtu.be/d-VNikxYBPw?t=9

but yes ive basically decided to ignore all characterization from re4 and onwards regarding leon at least. every leon after that is not my leon (except in special cases when im thinking about something like leon/jd from re damnation..... they did jd so dirty and they should have fucking kissed. or how cute he looked in vendetta sometimes)

ANYWAYS. MR X

so basically there are these enemies in resident evil called “tyrants” that are manufactured by the evil capitalist company umbrella that are near indestructible save for like.... rocket launchers or super heavy artillery that youre not buying at your local gun store. and in re2 one of them get sent to the police station where leon and claire are and is told to wipe out all witnesses. (i also do think that 2 or more were sent there... or at least in the area when this happened due to some very obvious plot hole stuff on each route no matter how you play, even tho the devs have come out and said that only 1 existed in the game and that each route is like “a parallel dimension” to each other. i wont go into it more than that but i choose to ignore that)

and well. when i first played it i knew of mr x but didnt like... know much about him other than that he was a monster and Tall (like 7 or 8 feet tall) and that he chased you around. that already sold me on him but then. well. you first encounter him because he lifts up an entire goddamn helicopter and then proceeds to chase you. and it was then that i knew i was in deep shit because he fucking stomped his way into my heart and never left.

mr x basically has serious Side Character Disorder where (even tho the remake made him very cool and epic and did him really well compared to nemesis in re3 remake which is an entire different can of worms) he has LITERALLY no personality or like. thoughts. or anything. hes only there to chase you around and be on screen for like 10 seconds for a couple of cutscenes and then not show up again until the very end of the game for you to fight on leons route. but god. he means so fucking much to me. 

you know how people latch onto random side characters that have no personality and essentially flesh them out more than the creators ever will? thats me with mr x. its gotten to the point where certain songs come on on my spotify and i actually get EMOTIONS or even TEARS because they remind me of him, but its not even really HIM, its the fucking ideas that ive come up with regarding him because all he ever does in game is chase you around and punch you and then die and is never brought up again

but anyways. mr x is a tall monster who chases leon and claire around in their routes but mr x is leons main monster in the game (claire has a different one). he chases leon around, literally never stops looking at him as he chases him, gets hit by an entire fucking car which then explodes BUT THEN chases him down into the sewers and into a secret underground lab just to get to him like a fucking bloodhound who, once he has the scent, will never stop chasing him

(you can see why this made me kind of insane)

just. AGHHH. the tyrants in this series get treated so dirty. i desperately want capcom to give us some sort of tyrant that can actually fucking like.... go against orders and brainwashing or whatever and actually have emotions and thoughts!!!!!!!!!! but capcom would never do anything with it cause its a rough and tough action series and people arent here to see tyrants have some sort of thought process beyond punching and killing and people only want to shoot guns at them instead of thinking about the possibilities of a tyrant that goes against its programming.

i so desperately want an au where mr x got the transmitter shot off of the side of his head (and while capcom never mentioned this ever many re2 fans have since decided that it is what feeds info/orders to him. i flip flop between thinking that it either is near controlling him and prevents free will and thought or that its just giving him orders and that hes just burying/hiding/not showing free will and thought in fear of being killed. either that or someone at umbrella is “piloting” him but also the whole point of tyrants is that theyre supposed to be smart enough to think for themselves somewhat so... eh). GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive explained a bunch of this stuff in my other ask about it but just...... xleon means so much to me when it should not and will never be actually canon

anyways please play re2 remake at least, you dont have to know everything about re1 to like it, just go into it knowing that a few months ago in the mountains outside raccoon city claires brother chris and a few members on his team went to a mansion where they discovered umbrella doing shady zombie shit there. re2 remake was hyped up for years for a reason and it is really good, even if its short (altho i do appreciate short games in this day and age cause not every game needs to be like 60 plus hours long). 

maybe one day when its not late and i can actually think i will explain all this better but todays not that day <3

(EDIT: ALSO RE DAMNATION TYRANTS ARE 14 FEET TALL. AND CHASE AROUND LEON AND ACTUALLY FUCKING RUN. FUN FACT! anyways while i do think jd in that movie and leon should kiss i also want leon and a tyrant from that movie to kiss. bye)

[iwillsithereandtrytocontribute]

The Melanie King Conspiracy

Pairings: wtgfs (mentioned/background)

Warnings: Blinding yourself (mentioned)

Spoilers up to the end of Season 4

Masterlist Ao3

This is my first fic for the tma fandom and first time writing in this style please cut me some slack. All spelling and grammatical errors (or most of them anyway) are on purpose to mimic a real group chat. Let’s hope I haven’t messed up the timeline to horribly :)

June 13, 2017

whathappenedtomelanieking: guys guys guys. you know how i was talking about that show Ghost Hunt U.K?

ijustworkhear: again with this? what about it

whathappenedtomelanieking: well, it went all weird like a year ago right? after that episode at the Cambridge Military Hospital. They all left one by one except for Melanie and then she went… crazy i guess. Freaked out, tryd to say she saw a ghost

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: its a ghost show…

whathappenedtomelanieking: yeh but she got really into it.more than ever before and everyone kind of knew it was fake

ijustworkhear: like those unsolved guys

whathappenedtomelanieking: yeah

whathappenedtomelanieking: anyway it sucked when Andy left but we had Melanie and that was fine

whathappenedtomelanieking: then she kept saying one of their camera people left then their sound until it was like melanie was the only one left

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: k… this matters why?

whathappenedtomelanieking: she got arrested

ijustworkhear: woah

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: jkjhjkhkghsjhk what

whathappenedtomelanieking: ikr? She broke into a junk yard up in Sheffield, says she got stabbed by a ghost or smth

 imnotjusthomointhesapienway: 🙄

whathappenedtomelanieking: lol yeah. shes really gone off the deep end. idk i just feel bad

ijustworkhear: yeah

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: so… that it? She’s in jail?

whathappenedtomelanieking: nah, they dropped the charges. she was actuallY in the hospital for a bit, hurt herself

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: breaking into a scrap yard at night… couldn’t be me

ijustworkhear: lol

*

January 24, 2018

placeholder: so…

imbeggingforausername: so…

imbeggingforausername: what’s up

whathappenedtomelanieking: 🙃

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: no we are not doing this shit again

imbeggingforausername: what is happening? Why’d you change your name?

whathappenedtomelanieking: Melanie’s back!!! (sort of)

imbeggingforausername: what

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: don’t ask

whathappenedtomelanieking: you ever heard of Ghost Hunk U.K.

whathappenedtomelanieking: @imnotjusthomointhesapienway rude

imbeggingforausername: not really… i know it went downhill in like 2016 tho

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: 😝

whathappenedtomelanieking: long story, ghosthunting show, melanie went off the rails and the grid for like a year (she was a host btw), and got arrested for breaking into a dump

imbeggingforausername: yikes

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: so what new incredible details have you uncovered now? (@imbeggingforausername this happens like every couple months when Jay thinks they have some new revelation).

whathappenedtomelanieking: HOW DARe!

whathappenedtomelanieking: anyway i was stalking her twitter and she was like posting stuff about being in India and shit and get this. She got shot!

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: let me guess. By a ghost

whathappenedtomelanieking: YES!!!

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: fucking...

whathappenedtomelanieking: Not even the best part… she’s back in London and you’ll never guess where she’s working now.

ijustworkhear: where

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: ayyyy!!! Sam’s here! help me

ijustworkhear: <3 

whathappenedtomelanieking: The Magnus Institute

ijustworkhear: k… cool

whathappenedtomelanieking: omg guys you don’t know what the Magnus INstitute is?

whathappenedtomelanieking: how are you my FRIENDS?

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: *sigh* tell us

whathappenedtomelanieking: they collect supernatural statements and “look into them” sounds like a piece of baloney to me, but you gotta pay the bills somehow i guess

imbeggingforausername: thought you believed in the supernatural

whathappenedtomelanieking: yeah, ghosts. The Magnus Institute pretends that there’s like evil books and stuff

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: and Melanie’s working there now? She has cracked

whathappenedtomelanieking: no kidding

ijustworkhear: maybe its for the best

imbeggingforausername: might be good for her

ijustworkhear: jinx!

imbeggingforausername: <3 i don’t know how to tell you this, but no

February 3, 2018

imbeggingforausername: @whathappenedtomelanieking

whathappenedtomelanieking: i’ve been summoned

imbeggingforausername: You see what’s been up with Melanie King lately?

whathappenedtomelanieking: no… what’s going on?

imbeggingforausername: all these vagueposts about how much she wants to kill her boss, which like, mood but im worried shes serious

whathappenedtomelanieking: do tell

imbeggingforausername: she’s like “my boss is trapping me and all these people into working at the archives”

whathappenedtomelanieking: dude… really?

imbeggingforausername: really

imbeggingforausername: i thought it was funny at first, but… you know… you can only read so many posts about what eldritch horrors someone thinks is attacking them before you start to worry.

whathappenedtomelanieking: i’ve been looking into the institute since Melanie joined, i was curios

whathappenedtomelanieking: their last head archivist was found in the tunnels beneath the institute shot three times and their latest archivist is on the run from the police for beating an old man to death with a pipe and probablt killing one of his assistants

imbeggingforausername: wtf

whathappenedtomelanieking: and they got this real bad worm infestation a while back, apparently it freaked one of them out so bad they lived in the archives for like 6 months

imbeggingforausername: How do you know this?

whathappenedtomelanieking: talked to the receptionist, her name’s Rosie, she’s very nice

whathappenedtomelanieking: she’s seen some weird shit. I think i might have seen Melanie but i didn’t talk to her

imbeggingforausername: I forget you live in London, any other weird things?

whathappenedtomelanie: don’t know how much is real, but yeah. 

whathappenedtomelanieking: she thinks some lady can control worms, there was this weird tall guy in Jon (that’s the archivist guy)’s office at one point and she never saw him leave (same with the lady giving Jon a statement), 

whathappenedtomelanieking: oh and Rosie didn’t tell me this one, but the head of the institute, can’t remember his name, came out of his office at one point and just stared at me

imbeggingforausername: creepy

whathappenedtomelanieking: ikr?

whathappenedtomelanieking: i left like right after that. I did ask if i could look in the archives, but no, you need some kind of degree or something

imbeggingforausername: a degree???? Are they serious???

whathappenedtomelanieking: they looked it, 🤷 i wasn’t going to push my luck, the old guy really freaked me out. It was like he looking into me

imbeggingforausername: what kind of degree would you even need??

imbeggingforausername: ooh weird

whathappenedtomelanieking: just saying, don’t think I’ll be going back for a while

imbeggingforausername: probably smart

October 25, 2018

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: @whathappenedtomelanieking i’m blaming you for getting me interested in this… but all your talking and theorizing about the Magnus Institute has gotten me interested

whathappenedtomelanieking: ooh, in listening

whathappenedtomelanieking: *I’m

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: I went up and talked to Rosie too (you were right she is v. nice) the head of the institute got arrested and the archivist is in a coma 

whathappenedtomelanieking: jesus, i feel like we’re uncovering a conspiracy just by being worried about an entertainer we enjoy… Maybe we should leave this alone?

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: i’m kind of getting that too

whathappenedtomelanieking: what about melanie tho?

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: idk, I asked Rosie about her and she just glanced around and then shook her head

whathappenedtomelanieking: i’ve been asking around on some forums and stuff, even emailed one of her old cameramen seems no one’s heard from her in upwards of a year and she’s barely been seen outside the institute

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: um…

whathappenedtomelanieking: genuinely getting worried, but… it’s her life i guess? idk...

October 20, 2019

whathappenedtomelanieking: WE WERE NOT WORRIED ENOUGH ABOUT MELANIE!!!!!!

ijustworkhear: what happened???

imbeggingforausername: wtf

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: did she kill someone or smth

whathappenedtomelanieking: I WAS JUST LISTENING TO WHAT THE GHOST AND GEORIGE MENTIONED MELANIE OFFHAND. I KNOW THEY HANG OUT SOMETIMES SO I CHECKED GEORGIE’S INSTAGRAM AND MELANIE WAS IN ONE OF THE PICTURES (they’re a couple btw, v. cute) SHE WAS BLIND!!!! LIKE PROPERLY!! IT LOOKED LIKE SHE’D BEEN STABBED IN BOTH EYES!!!

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: jesus wtf

ijustworkhear: omg, she’s okay though

imbeggingforausername: damn…

whathappenedtomelanieking: i mean… she’s blind… probably not having a great time, but she looks happy

imbeggingforausername: 🤷 it’s not like she died

whathappenedtomelanieking: i’m not saying its bad she’s blind Erin, just that i’m worried about how it happened. 

whathappenedtomelanieking: she was working at that fucking weird institute (you know, ever since i went there i have this feeling like i’m being watched constantly)

imnotjusthomointhesapienway: yikes

October 31, 2019

1:35 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: guys i think something happened…

1:40 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: guys?

whathappenedtomelanieking: @imnotjusthomointhesapienway @ijustworkhear @imbeggingforausername

2:01 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: please answer me i’m freaking out

whathappenedtomelanieking: i can’t find anyone 

whathappenedtomelanieking: please

whathappenedtomelanieking: mt hasds arw shaking so bd i can;t type

whathappenedtomelanieking: there;s noone herre

whathappenedtomelanieking: please

2:23 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: @ijustworkhear @imnotjusthomointhesapienway @imbeggingforausername

3:56 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: @ijustworkhear @imnotjusthomointhesapienway @imbeggingforausername

4:47 p.m.

whathappenedtomelanieking: @ijustworkhear @imnotjusthomointhesapienway @imbeggingforausername

Any similarities to actual usernames weren’t intentional (although I am really proud of “I’m only homo in the sapien way”). 

@whathappenedtomelanieking was lost in the Lonely in the Eyepocalypse in case I didn’t make that clear enough.

Feel free to ask about my writing or ask to be added to my taglist. Stay safe :)

#tma #the magnus archives #melanie king #rosie tma #jasper writes

[fumbling-fanfics]

Imagine having a second child with Viktor Drago...

So I wrote this because @lady-olive-oil was insistant on killing people off, lol. Love you Liv!

I also kind of forgot I wrote this so there was more I wanted to write but I forgot those parts.

**********************************************

You weren't meant to give birth so early. But here you were sitting in a nice relaxing bath, Lily on the bathroom floor drawing more pictures for Viktor while you soaked. If you were honest the contractions had started early in the morning, but they varied between 4hrs and 3 minutes apart. So you had ignored them. But now it was 2 in the afternoon you were pretty sure you were having contractions - the proper ones.

"Lily baby, can you pass mommy here phone please" her little head popped up beside the bath with a big smile. "Are you going to ring daddy? Can I talk to him?" she asked as she disappeared out of the bathroom.

Viktor should have been the one you were going to call but he wasn't.

"I'm going to call Aunt Jenny" you smile kissing her forehead in thanks letting her get back to her drawing. "I'll make Aunt Jenny a picture too" she states, paper rustling about. You pressed the call button next to Jenny's picture (a picture of her and lily at the beach) and waited for her to answer.

"Thank god you called. I'm so tired, I'm literally falling asleep at my desk… What's new?" she sang.

"Code Red" you whispered down the phone.

"Huh?" you can hear the frowns of confusion on Jenny's face. "Oh, Lily, I can go get her from preschool" you could here her moving around more on her end.

"No, Lily's here with me-"

"Hi Aunt Jenny!" Lily called from the floor, voice echoing off the bathroom tiles.

"Oh" Jenny was frowning again.

"The other code red, the new one. The second one" you watched Lily for a reaction but she was absorbed back into her drawing.

"Shit" Jenny shouted.

"Shit, shit, shit! SHIT! Are you sure? It's not those fake ones, those pickle hiccup contraction things" she panicked, you could hear things being knocked around and a draw open and then slam closed.

"You mean Braxton Hicks, and no"

"You're not due for like another 2 months, I'm looking at my calendar. It says on my calender" you could hear her voice go up an octave in panic. You were pretty sure she was also poking the calender too.

Jenny was down as your second birthing partner, after Viktor of course. But since Viktor was away for a fight that was still wasn't due for another 6 weeks, Jenny had happily (and in a drunken state) assured Viktor she'd be your number two should anything happen. But it would be fine because nothing would happen because you still had two months to go.

"I know, I know...Can you maybe come anyway, and maybe it'll be fine by the time you get here"

"Of course, I'm leaving now" she hung up quickly.

"Will Auntie Jenny bring me jellies" Lily asked, pencils poised in her hand.

"Maybe" you laugh, glad she oblivious to what's happening.

By the time Jenny arrived you were out of the bath and sitting in the living room on your yoga ball wondering if you should call Viktor or not.

He'd flown back to the states to fight again, and really concentrate on getting ready as this opponent was almost equal in size to Viktor. You knew if you called him he'd freak out and even fly back (or walk if he had to).

"(Y/n)!!!" Jenny practically screamed, slamming the door closed. You could hear her but not see her. Lily sprinted off to find her Aunt, and reappeared on Jenny's hip.

"Are they for real?" she asked looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I think so, they've just got worse"

"Auntie bought me jellies!" Lily waved the box and then wriggled out of Jenny's arms and ran off. At least she was occupied.

****

“Is it okay to make a call?" you asked in the back of the ambulance. The female paramedic nodded as she carried on writing things down.

Jenny was following in her car with Lily and your hospital bags.

You pressed the call button and held the phone against your ear. There was a series of tial tones, including the international one.

"Hello" it was a quick, short answer.

"Ivan, it's y/n" slight relief washed over you hearing his voice.

"Hello. You want to speak to Viktor?"

"No, no, no, no, no" there were too many no's for Ivan's liking - he felt worried but the fact you weren't crying and he could understand you made him worry a tiny bit less.

Ivan said something in Russian but you couldn't hear, it was muffled, like he had his hand over the mouthpiece. There was the sound of a metal door slamming closed and then silence.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby, its early" there was a long pause from both of you - you both didn't know what to say.

"I'll get Viktor"

"No don't...I mean I know he needs to know, but not right now. You know he'll get on the first plane back, won't think twice about the fight. I can't let him do that." Ivan said nothing but also agreed. But he also wanted to tell his son. Congratulate him, tell everyone in the training room - he had another grandchild.

"I'll let him know it was all my idea not to tell him, just try and act like everything's normal. Please?“

“Are you okay? Are you at the hospital?" the concern in Ivan's voice broke you and you started to cry.

"I'm fine. I'm on my way in an ambulance"

"Are you on your own?" he sound panicked. "Where's Lily?"

"She's following in a car with Jenny" Ivan remembered Jenny from when she came to the beach that day. Ivan was struck by how caring Jenny was with Lily - making sure she ate and drank enough while still having fun.

"She must call me" you nodded even tho Ivan couldn't see you.

"Here" the paramedic handed you a tissue to dry your eyes. "Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay"

***

Olivia May Drago, born 2 months early but otherwise healthy.

Jenny had called Ivan to let him know everything was okay - you were okay, Lily was okay (but probably had new found profession as some sort of Antinal Nurse specialising in premature babies) and that Viktor's new baby girl was okay too. It was only when Jenny came back into the room, an hour later did you realise she had been talking to Ivan for an hour. "He's so funny, Ivan" she said with a smile on her face. You raised a quizzical eyebrow at her as she peered into the neonatal cot to look at Olivia. "Did you just say Ivan's funny?“ you asked, maybe the drugs were making you hear things." Yeah, the jokes he cracks. But otherwise he says he's glad everyone's okay. I said I'll call him tomorrow"

"You should go, it's late" Lily had crashed out on the bed in the room reserved for partners to sleep on.

"No way, do you know how hard it was to get this parental leave. HR officially hate me, so I'm going to use every moment to stare at this beautiful girl" she cooed, picking up Olivia from her cot.

Lily had been born 4 weeks early, so Jenny had fought tooth and nail to have the right to use shared parental leave to help you look after Lily and the baby assuming Olivia would be born early too, despite not actually being a parent to either. She had initially demanded full maternity leave, but had settled for 3 and a half weeks "shared parental" leave. "That's what they get for not having a watertight policy" she'd smugly smiled sipping non alcoholic wine with you when she told you when you met her for lunch just after Viktor left to prepare for the fight.

You were trying not to cry but the harder you did, the quicker your eyes filled up with tears. So when you blinked they came streaming down your face. "Hey, don't you start crying because I'm gonna start crying again" Jenny moved to perch on the edge of your bed still holding Olivia.

"I know you feel bad, but don't. Everything is okay, you're okay, baby's okay. Lily's okay. I'm okay" the last part made you laugh and you brushed the tears away.

"But we need to make sure Viktor's okay, and that means not telling him just yet because we app know what will happen. I'll just keep taking a million photos and videos so he has stuff to watch. Here, hold her" Jenny passed you Olivia and grabbed her phone to take pictures.

"Do I look a mess?" you asked, aware that not only had you given birth 6 hours ago but you had also cried one too many times. "Actually, you look so good. Which makes me slightly hate you" she placed her phone down and then made grabbing hands at Olivia. "My ovaries hurt when I don't hold her" she blushed.

***

You where now sat in the hotel suite that had been reserved for Viktor. Lily was laying on the floor - half on top of the fluffy rug, half off - drawing more pictures for Viktor. You were sure she was on over 100 at this point, but it kept her occupied, you enjoyed listening to her stories behind them and writing them on the back of the picture for Viktor to read later.

She was currently drawing the picture of him winning his current fight - the one that was meant to start in 45 minutes.

You were sat on the overly large sofa breastfeeding Olivia, after having to shout at Buddy Marcella and the entourage he brought for you to leave. He'd brought a nanny with him - just in case you wanted to leave Lily and Olivia to go watch the fight. He was driving you crazy more than usual.

You didn't need help, you just needed space and for not a single soul to mention to Viktor that he had an earlier than expected baby girl he'd never seen. You'd also spoken to Ivan at length who had been extra hard and stubborn on your behalf making sure everything and everyone would be perfect.

***

Just as the fight started Olivia woke up with a cry. You half didn't mind as she'd been asleep for a long time, as if she was waiting for the perfect moment to announce her presence in the world. She was very quiet for a newborn.

You noticed that Viktor seemed to be fighting differently, quicker, even harder, like he just wanted it to be over.

But that wasn't surprising. When Viktor had agreed to the fight, there were a few additional requirements that Buddy had added in. Endorsements and a whole bunch of extra PR stuff, including promo stuff with Adonis Creed.

"Hey!" you called to Buddy. He turned around with that stupid grin on his face. "Just remembered my husband's a person and not just your cash cow" he'd then proceeded to try and butter you up but it didn't work.

***

As the ring filled with people from either team and the official referee to call the match you spotted Buddy climbing into the ring. You held your breath as you watched him whisper something to Viktor. Ivan appeared and pushed Buddy away, but you could see Viktor was getting impatient and just wanted the result said. You watched Ivan place his hands on Viktor's shoulders and he calmed down a little. The referee appeared and the camera angle zoomed back showing Viktor and his opponent standing either side of the referee.

You didn't let your breathe go until the referee held up Viktor's arms and the crowd cheered. Lily jumped up dancing around with her picture in her hand. "Told you daddy won" she wiggled her hips side to side and threw the picture in the air along with her crayons.

***

Now you felt sick. Sheer panic and you tried to organise your thoughts and your words to explain to Viktor that you were sorry for not telling him that Olivia had come early, that you cried after every phone call with him because you wanted to just tell him. But you were glad that you didn't, that there were no distractions.

"Lily, come here please" you call, her silence not always a good thing. She skips from the bedroom, her face covered in melted chocolate. Then she stop rigid, eyes wide. "Daddy!“ she screams, sprinting past you. You turn, this isn't how you wanted him to find out. "Grandpa!“ Lily screeches, almost another octave higher. She doges Viktor and throws herself at Ivan.

Viktor doesn't seem to mind that Lily skipped him. He's staring at you or Olivia, or both of you as you rock Olivia in your arms. She's quiet now, as if nothing happened. He drops his bag and slowly walks closer to you. When he reaches you, he pulls you against him, his lips rest on forehead which makes you cry.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry you had to do this on your own" Viktor tenderly hugs you, careful not to squash Olivia.

You pull away to wipe your face with one hand, surprised at how relaxed Viktor is. "My dad told me. I made him when I saw he had a lot of calls from Jenny, I thought something was wrong" you looked to Ivan, but he was busy cleaning the chocolate from Lily's face.

***

Everything was calmer. Everything was fine. Viktor sat holding Olivia, with Lily on his lap. They talk in hushed tones over a sleeping Olivia. Both falling quiet every so often to stare at the peaceful baby.

Viktor was stunned by how beautiful his second baby girl was. Her tiny nose, her tiny mouth, her ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Lily's mind was slightly blown by Viktor telling her she was once this small, even he was too.

Together they couldn’t stop looking at Olivia. Every now and then Lily gently kissed her sister - telling Viktor all the things she planned to teach her little sister - coloring within the lines, eating jellies that Aunt Jenny brings etc, eating all the chocolate you could find in a hotel suite.

By the time Ivan got back with food for everyone, it was his turn to fuss over his new grandchild. "World's happiest grandfather" Ivan announced taking Olivia from Viktor. He sat down on the couch with Olivia while you pulled out your phone to show Viktor the million photos you'd taken while he was away.

**********************************************

Tags: @ellixthea @lovelymari4 @chaneajoyyy

@honeychicana @beaminglife @amelatonin @themyscxiras @crushed-pink-petals @jojolu @endless00paradise @est1887 @cajunpeach @melinda-january @profoundlynerdywolf @deathonyourtongue @designerwriterchic @itsbqueenthings @alicesfracturedmirror

#viktor drago x black reader #viktor drago fanfic #viktor imagine #viktor drago x reader #viktor drago fic #viktor drago