#that's what made paul see potential in me which is why i even got the chance to do any of this stuff

[magentagalaxies]

on the note of kith season 6 (didn't want to derail the other post but have been thinking about this lately): one of the only things i disliked - or, rather, that felt off about the revival - was how crisp everything felt in terms of the aesthetic. like ik filmmaking technology has evolved since 1994 and they couldn't do the live studio audience even tho they wanted to bc of covid, but idk the original series despite clearly working with cbc and hbo always had this diy energy, vs the new season just very much felt like oh this is a corporate thing that was location scouted and filmed on a lot

but what's interesting about this fault is that you look into anything else the kids in the hall have made themselves in the past decades and it still has that exact diy aesthetic, sometimes unintentionally but that's the best part. like, i'm the most familiar with scott's works for obvious reasons, but you look at something like contemporary mouth congress music videos or any other video project scott's made just bc he wanted to make it and you can see obvious green screens, the fact that it was clearly filmed on an iPhone, using stuff around the house as props, etc. and if you look at bruce's youtube channel you get that sense as well, and it's so delightful to see bc yeah this comedy isn't a corporate entity, it's just something these guys have to make bc they are passionate about it

anyway i guess what i'm saying is if they ever decide to do another kith revival season they should have paul bellini direct it on his iphone 5 and film 99% of it at the toronto library's green screen room

idk maybe this post is too niche bc a lot of the stuff i'm citing (i.e. mouth congress music videos) hasn't actually been released yet and also i have literally been on these diy sets in the past year where someone just set up a pop-up greenscreen in their living room and my "job" is to make sure the pets don't wander into frame. but yeah idk i find it very funny that watching the revival my only complaint was the lack of that genuine diy spirit and then one year later i'm part of that type of production

#no idea if this is relatable i just had thoughts lmao #this is also inspired by the obvious greenscreen and using-his-real-cast-as-a-prop in scott's promotional video #like again it's probably bc i've been there when scott and paul are just casually filming something at paul's apartment #but i look at something like that and i can just feel all the conversations that went into putting it together #and it's funny bc i get that sense watching the original kith tv show but not as much the amazon show #(which is wild bc i have heard behind the scenes stories from the amazon show too??? spoiler alert people were very stressed) #and i also think the diy tendencies are why i even had a chance to connect with the kids in the hall #bc so many comedians just get accustomed to working exclusively on projects that a studio has set out for them #but the kids in the hall and ESPECIALLY paul bellini love smaller projects where they get to build something from the ground up #paul has made 5 different feature films that he wrote and directed and filmed entirely on an iphone 5 #(not sure if they were all specifically that model of phone he may have upgraded at some point lmao) #(also he's planning to release them onto youtube soon!!) #but yeah the goal with these iphone films was never to win every award and make a bunch of money. it's the passion for making movies #and i think since i'm a very diy-oriented person who's like ''idc if someone gives me permission i'm gonna make a multimedia musical'' #that's what made paul see potential in me which is why i even got the chance to do any of this stuff #anyway i guess what i'm saying is my advice for everyone is: just make the thing! even if you have no budget and no backing #bc even a scaled-down version of the thing is still impressive bc you made it!! #if scott thompson can film a ''crowd scene'' in scottland by drawing faces on a bunch of fingers and just filming people's hands #you can make your project something iconic

[creature-reads]

Creature's 2023 Top Reads

I was fortunate enough to read a lot last year and want to start interacting more with Bookblr in particular. Shoutout to Libby, the library app, through which I used to access a majority of works through. If you are an USA American and have a library card you too can access books, music, graphic novels and more through the Libby app for free.

These awards are made up by me, for my own enjoyment. I do not receive any monetary or other payment for recommending these authors. Please remember to buy books from your local stores when you can.

Best Fantasy- The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker

A tale about a jewish Golem and a bedouin/arab Jinni who find themselves in New York during the early 1900s. I really must commend Wecker of how seamlessly her plot pulls together during the climax of the story, beautifully done. This is a slow non explicit romance of two people who are seen as outsiders even in their own communities. It is beautiful, it’s soft, it’s heart-wrenching. I love all these characters for their rights and wrongs. Arbili is innocent of all crimes, fight me.

Best Author- Hank Green

I read two books from Hank Green, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing and A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, and he is winning this for the glow up. While his first book wasn’t bad, the second was a definite improvement. His prose is clear and refreshing, tinged with his hope towards the future and his belief in the inherent good nature of humanity. His character development greatly improved as the series continued and I love characters who are completely aware how thin a line they are walking on, while knowing the only way out is through.

Best Fiction - Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut (not queer)

The tale of trauma and its effects from an American soldier who was a POW stationed in Dusseldorf Germany during the end of WWII. Recommended to me by a friend, I had doubts before starting this book. Reading it, however, I was pleasantly surprised to find an almost resignedly unreliable narrator and as you continue you realize its horror of war and grief that broke him and what keeps him going. So it goes.

Best New series - The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

There's been a lot said about this series already, but I have to commend Muir in creating these increasingly unreliable narrators. This series is for people who see potential in a narrative and aren't afraid to dig. Comprised of modern humor, heartbreakingly tragedy, and horror of the most occult. It is easy to see why these books are so popular, especially here on Tumblr. This series has so much in it it’d almost be faster to list what isn’t. We’ve got a space-faring necromantic Empire run by Jod (effectively necromantic god emperor who’s also just a guy), rebels, body hopping, memes, stupid lesbians, smart lesbians, whatever Paul is, eye-color significance/powerups, mysteries, just a bit of murder(don’t worry about it), and a truckful of Catholic guilt.

Best Sci Fi -The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon

BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. This book will lure you in with giant robots and queer characters and proceed to destroy you with trauma, grief, and the betrayal of everyone you hold close including yourself. This book is not for the faint of heart. There are many comparisons to Pacific Rim and/or Evangelion, which aren’t incorrect. But I feel like a better description would be more along the lines of Brandon Sanderson with the depth and breadth of worldbuilding with character development written by …a mix of Ocean Vuong and Hayao Miyazaki?? I’ll probably end up doing a full review of this in the future. But I’ve found myself rereading this novel multiple times and finding pieces of foreshadowing, worldbuilding, and lore that I’d previously overlooked. The characters are real and their connections and relationships are bound together beautifully. If it sounds even remotely interesting to you, please try it. I and I and I.

Honorable mentions:

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

When Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Library of the Dead by T.L. Huchu

Witch King by Martha Wells

#helene wecker #the golem and the jinni #hank green #an absolutely remarkable thing #a beautifully foolish endeavor #kurt vonnegut #slaughterhouse five #tlt #tamsyn muir #emma mieko candon #the archive undying #bookblr #book reccs

[qqueenofhades]

honestly, reading comics canon & the end of said comics canon while at the same time reading really well-thought-out takes like AITWW which takes what is, indeed, a beautiful queer bit of unpredictability flung into an otherwise faithful adaptation of comics canon and turns it into a whole story of its own-- is really making me personally excited for all the ways fanfic writers can use that as a Spanner in the Works/disruptor for Morpheus's canon ending. being Also An Old that potential gets me far more than anything canon may or may not do with hob, personally.

(which is to say thanks, AITWW has made my own creative brain do several backflips of excited Possibilities. so many possible stories.)

I mean... yeah. Obviously there are a lot of queer characters/themes in the Sandman to start with, but I think everyone imprinted on Dreamling like a baby duckling because a) it fulfills the obvious Grumpy/Sunshine trope that fandom loves, and b) it offers the thing that everyone loved about Our Flag Means Death, where the queer characters got to talk to each other, share interests, develop over time, and actually offer a real emotional basis to ship them as lovers. Of course, OFMD did that in ten episodes as opposed to just the back half of Sandman 1.06, but it's the same thing. And also, I would note that despite all the other queer representations/characters in the show, there isn't really anyone else to actively ship in a canon-supported LGBTQ context? We see Johanna's lover Rachel die in the same episode that we meet her, the Corinthian's entire life motto is be gay and do crimes but you don't exactly ship a serial-killing nightmare with any of the minor characters who he menaces and/or eats, Hal is great but still a bit-part player who gets paired off with Carl in the background, and Alex and Paul are already out of the picture by the end of the first episode. (Besides, Alex, keeping the dude you desperately want to fuck locked up in the basement for decades even after your terrible dad is dead is, uh, Bad.)

Fandom can, of course, imagine and headcanon interactions between various queer characters, but as far as an active, possible, ongoing relationship goes, where we are shown them developing feelings for each other and the narrative makes a point of underscoring them in a romantic context, Hob and Dream are kind of IT. Many shows just throw a queer couple in there as token representation and don't really take the time to actually show why they're compatible as a pairing, but there's so much possibility with Hob and Dream both that is already depicted in-show and can easily be extrapolated from the source material, the actors' and writers' interviews, the themes that are present in their narrative, and so forth. They're one of the most deeply romantic interactions in the whole show, despite never explicitly verbalizing their feelings or having any physical moments. You genuinely believe that these two immortal beings are truly affected by each other, they have incredibly complex feelings about each other, it absolutely means something special for them to reunite, and that no matter what happens, they will never entirely let go of each other. Which I think is a credit to the acting, writing, and how quickly we got that in the course of 20-30 minutes in one episode.

So yes: Dreamling IS a deeply queer and deeply romantic disruption of the source material (in a good way), and offers possibilities that have already been foreclosed or minimalized in other storylines, including in comics canon itself. They're one of the relatively few moments of sheer queer happiness, they were left open-ended and in a good place, Dream is obviously the main character of the whole series so developing a queer relationship for him is more than just what's going on in the background, and I really hope they continue to lean into this when writing/planning future seasons. Obviously, I love them and want to see more of them, but I feel Some Kinda Way about queer immortals, who can persist in all ages and eras of history, and not be consigned to just die, whether from narrative carelessness or Bury Your Gays or whatever else. There's something incredibly powerful about queer characters who literally can't be killed (also why I imprinted on Old Guard so much), and who are shown experiencing and overcoming adversity in so many different ways, and at the end of it, still choosing to keep living. I just have many feelings about that.

#anonymous #ask #dreamling #aitww

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

Finally saw all three Doctor who specials ...

Ahm ... didn’t really care for them?

So, the first one was the best IMHO

It had a really good plot but I personally feel like it wasn’t enough for an hour long special.

Plus I personally felt the writting was a bit half done ... I feel like this could potentially have ended up beeing a classic episode, but the writting just wasn’t there

Plus, and maybe I am just dumb, but I personally find the handwaving as explanation was more pronounced this time then is common even for Doctor Who.

The second one was just plain forgettable, which IMHO is unforgivable, because: Zheng Yi Sao!

Like, her live is so intersting that you propably could have done a good old, historical episode, with no alien shenanigans and it still would have been awesome

But instead they just name drop her, (give no explanation for anyone who hasn’t already heard of her) and then focus is 100% on teh alien shenanigans

WHICH WOULD BE FINE if the where any good

But ... they are not

They are generic at best

I mean ... I personally wouldn’t have revived the Sea Devils ...

If Warriors of teh deep was good for anything then to teach us that ...

Look, just leafe the Sea Devis where they are, O.K.?

I mean ... the fact that the writting team was so white it glows in teh dark doesn’t help ...

And you’d think, with one half of the team beeing a women, they wouldn’t make Zheng Yi Saos entire motivation the fact that she is a mother and needs to get her kids back

Like ... no idea if that ever happened but that is the least intersting part about her.

Also, you CAN’T sail a ship that size alone.

The Erebus and Terror had to be rigged a certain way, to make du with a much smaller crew and they still had a crew of 19 AB’s each PLUS petty officers ...

And the fact that I even remebert that titbit means that I was not in fcat having a good time.

Plus, just on a personal note, I am not really a fan of companion falls in love with the doctor ... and I can’t say this time was handled with anymore grace then the last time ...

Really sorry ... I lieke Jasmin a lot ... I do.

But ... look ... maybe introduce this a little sooner?

In an epidsode where there is some breathing room?

Give this time to grow?

Don’t introduce this the year where there are only three specials insteda of a whole season?

Like, again, I don’t like companion falls in love with teh doctor story lines ... but if I have to tolerate one, I would have loved it, if it got the time to really breath ...

Oh well ...

Which brings us to the last

Oh boy ... what a cluster fuck ...

Like ... we don’t even get some handwaving why 9 wasn’t there or 10 or 11 or 12 ...

And like, i get it ... there was behind the scenes drama with Eccelston and Matt Smith is bussy fucking his dragon or something ...

But maybe, don’t write a script where it makes fuck all sense why the others arent around ...

Mayby just limit it to McCoy and peter Davidson ?

That would have made sense with Tegan and Ace beeing there ...

But then there is a suprise Colin Baker out of nowhere ... and a Paul McGan ... why?

And don’t get me wrong ... I love all ofthem and it was nice to see them again <3

But please, ... do me and THEM the common curtesy of writting a good script.

Also, we got John Hartnell ... sort of ... but not Patrick Throughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker ... for no good reason ...

And so .. the master sitting there, wearing different parts of different doctors iconic wardrope, playing the secodn Doctors recorder, is the best summary of this episode ...

It’s the worst kidn of fanservice ... it’s eh kind of fanservice that thrifes on “ I member” ...

And that is just the cluster fuck with the doctors ...

The plot again is half backed at best, and in dire need of some some wore work

I feel like in ths case there was to much plot and it would have really worked out better if the whole thing would have been distributed over three special insteda of one.

The first one could habe been the train and the cypermasters

(Which would also have given Dans personal arc more time, I felt like it came out of left field for no other reason then getting Dan out of the way)

The second one the whole dalec the debacle and the last one reveals it was teh master all the time

Also that is not even remotely how vulcanos work and again, the fact that my brain pointed that out means I was not having a good time

(My brain is totally fine with two full moons in one week, if it is havig fun)

Also ... I found myself missing Eric Roberts ... which is never a good sign ...

Don’t get me wrong Sacha Dhawan is doing a greta job with what he has been given ...

But the writting on the master is just ... not good.

Plain not good ... I was not having a good time ...

Like this was a great oportunety to get to know the master beyond “villain” which can be fun ...

Like I really liked Missy.

I did.

I miss her ...

But yeah, the point is that the script is full of missed oportuneties.

Well, ... RTD is back ... 10 is back ...

Let’s hope that if the 60th aniversary specila also ends up beeing a cluster fuck ... please at least let it be an entertaining cluster fuck ...

Let it be “The five Doctors (1983)” instead of “Dimensions in time” (1993)

#also #a simple maid #does not #adress the Tsarina #you wait until teh Tsarina adresses you #this barkes my imersion #becasue I am not having a good time #so I have to nitpick

[zentillion]

*checks e-mails*

Hmm, if Colorado’ Democratic gubernatorial candidate is taking crypto donations and selling NFTs also for funding, then Colorado might just now be doomed to be taken over by conservative garbage.

This is not “grassroots”, Jared, this is not “fun”, Jared; this is damning your campaign and your potential constituents, Jared. I’d put it on the same level as just taking corporate donations, really.

This stupid gimmick you’re going for? It makes you a big, fat fake. No other “far” leftist candidate would do it. They might consider it for a few minutes, but then they’d remember just what a Colossally Stupid Idea it is and just go “Ugh. Nope.”

Though honestly, why am I even thinking about this? I’m not from or in Colorado! This was just a political e-mail I got because of my leanings, and thus should be None of My Business. I should just unsubscribe (did while writing this), shut up, and MoveOn. Just curate and make what donations I can to more deserving candidates elsewhere...

Which might push me needing to do more pruning/curation again because one will be asked for donations at least once a week! I know y’all need those donations since you don’t take shit from corporate, but I’m not made of money! I only get less than a grand a month for my disabled ass, I can’t be the help I wish I could be! Here’s five bucks, Squad, keep being some of the only congresspeople who actually care about the little person! Go, Charles, rid the Senate of the filthy vermin that is Rand Paul! And speaking of the US Senate - Mr. Fetterman, keep that damn Turkish snake oil salesman Oz out of there, too! And everyone else that could potentially save us from the Conservaroaches!

And, you know what, just to go back to the beginning? Jared, despite my rant, you better win! Crypto is idiotic but... sometimes the ends just justify the means, and honestly, this gimmick is going to fail and make you see your mistake.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a weatherman I used to like before I found out his politics who needs to be taught he should have kept his day job come this November. I cracked my HDTV because of one ad he did during the primaries (fuck migrant-blaming bullshit), and thus, well. It’s political and personal, I guess.

#Jared Polis #YOU FUCKING DUMBASS YOU'VE DOOMED YOUR STATE #and then this quickly changed to general Woes of a Grassroots Donor #zent's political bullshit tag #Mark Ronchetti Michelle's gonna turn your ass into fuckin spaghetti #am I gonna regret posting this? doubtful

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight wolf pack imagine #twilight wolf pack #twilight fanfiction #eclipse #twilight wolf imagines #embry call #jared cameron #sam uley

[therealvinelle]

I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space. 

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. 

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe. 

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. 

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

#i write this meta listening to the ost for p3m #which is how the reference came to mind #but seriously there is so much about that anime i think twilight fans would enjoy #they do something wonderfully clever with animation too that would be perfect for an animated twilight #twilight #twilight shapeshifters #wolfpack #sam uley #emily young #leah clearwater #kim #i tried to find out her last name but she appears to have none #jared cameron #jacob black #imprinting #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #long post #twilight worldbuilding #this is one of those where I'm sure i have more organizational tags to add #but none come to mind #Anonymous #ask

[spidernerdsblog]

Hey dear💟 how are you? Can I ask for some mob!tom smut?? Like he's smoking a cigar at a boring wedding when he meets a mob!reader and after talking a bit things just happen and he takes her home for fucking all night?

Oh and ends in fluff??

Hi nonnie! I'm fine hope you are well too. Here's your request hope you like this.

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Mob! Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, mature content, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

His Queen, Her King

Being the mob boss Tom had to be a part of various social gatherings, galas, parties etc but the most he dreaded were weddings. Especially when you're an eligible bachelor, people around you are constantly nagging you with the most evident question ‘when is your turn?’ There were several occasions where the leaders of other mobs had tried to set him up with their daughters to forge an alliance but he would turn them down every time because he never found them to be his match. He likes to be in control but that doesn’t mean he would settle for a mere puppet who would dress up pretty and do as told, he wanted someone powerful, fierce who would challenge his authority, a real queen to his vast empire.  

It was one of his childhood friends' wedding day so he couldn't say no. The hall was buzzing with people as he was seated with a couple of his friends at a table drinking and laughing loudly talking about their busy lives and their businesses. One hour to the wedding reception and Tom was already bored he lit up a cigar and took a long puff from it watching everyone silently. 

Just then you walk in through the doors in a long red silk dress hugging your body like a second skin with a thigh high slit paired with pointed stilettos making heads turn. Your hair styled into loose curls cascading down your shoulders complimenting your dewy makeup. Your wrists and ears sparkling with the most priceless authentic diamonds.  Apart from being the maid of honor you are the only woman in the mob business who owns the biggest diamond business in the country. 

People were obviously envious of your power though they never dare to say anything to your face but you have heard how people think you just got lucky with the business as the only daughter of your father, women have no place in the mob even to the extent of being slut shamed and being accused of sleeping with your rivals to run the business. You had simply shrugged it off and showed those people with a flourishing business and earning double profits than your father used to earn when he used to run the mob. You walk over to your best friend.

“Congratulations Jane, finally you’re a married woman now!” you give her a hug.

“Thanks Y/N it feels like a dream honestly” she chirps “but when are you…”

“Please you also don’t start” you both chuckled and continued gossiping.

“Man why are these receptions so dull and boring” Matt groaned “couldn’t they do it at a bar or strip club?”

“Yeah it would have been fun to watch your wife beat the shit out of you after you flirted with one of the strippers” Carl mocked to which everyone laughed out loud including Tom.

“Hey!!” Matt revolted in protest as all of them laughed again.

Your conversation was constantly getting disturbed with their constant brawls and loud laughter. Even the other guests had a frown on their face with the noise they were making.

“I apologize on behalf of my friends, they can sometimes be a little loud” Paul the groom said apologetically.

"It’s ok I know how to deal with guys like them. Let me handle it” You offer and stride your way to their table. 

“Sorry to crash the fun boys but some of us are actually here to attend the reception not to hear your meaningless chatter” you jibe forcing a smile as the men turn their attention towards you. Tom puts down his cigar blowing out the smoke as he takes a quick glance of you.

“I'm sorry love, are we offending you?” he remarks with a smolder and the men around him hollered. The corner of your lips quirk into a sly smirk as you step closer to him drawing a finger along his jawline.

“It will take a lot more than this baby face to offend me” you taunt him back with a grin amusing everyone including Tom at your comeback.

“Oooh damn!” the men hollered again while you turned your back and strutted off to join your friends again. Tom just sat there completely blown away by your boldness. He had heard about you but now that he saw you he understood that you weren’t just a beautiful face after all who just got lucky in the mob business you were a complete badass. The very image of you radiates power and triumph. 

His eyes seeked yours the whole time and then he found you finally all by yourself near the open bar drinking a glass of whisky. He approaches you as he clears his throat.

“Ahem, hey” you lift your eyes from the glass and then put it down on the counter smacking your lips.

“Here to apologise for being a jerk?” you quip.

“I thought we were even already” he remarks with a smug grin.

“Yeah maybe” you half shrug

“Tom Holland by the way” he reaches his hand out and you dismiss it by picking your glass again and taking a sip. 

“I know who you are, the boss of the most powerful mob in London” you say nonchalantly

“Keeping tabs I see” he smirks as he signals the bartender to hand him a drink as well.

“It’s a risky business Holland you gotta keep records about your potential rivals” you state blandly.

“Absolutely, couldn’t agree more” he takes a sip wincing at the strong taste of the drink. 

“So all alone? Bossman didn’t get any arm candy for the night?” you snicker.

“Only a queen fits beside a king like me darling and I haven’t found one yet , what about you?”

“Well I haven’t found my king either” you clink your glass to his as you both gulp down your drinks.

“You look ravishing in that dress I must say” he compliments with a suave in his voice.

“Thank you. You don’t look bad either” you flirt back as you bite the corner of your lip checking him dressed in an Armani suit the Rolex on his wrist glinting in the golden light of the chandeliers.  

“I really admire you. Honestly it’s really hard and dangerous to run a business when you’re a woman” there was a different kind of sparkle in his eyes which you recognize very well.

“What can I say I just love playing with danger” you shrug with sass in your voice. 

“You wanna get out of here? I’m sure nobody will miss us” he licks his lips eyes darkening with pure desire. 

“Well what are we waiting for?” you smirk with a mischievous glint in your eyes both of you coming to a silent agreement.

The whole ride to his mansion was a blur as soon as you were inside he had you pinned up against the door as his lips met yours hungrily. His lips tasted of burnt cigar and whisky.  He started leaving trails of kisses on your jaw and neck while his hand snaked down to your thighs through the slit of your dress unclasping the thigh holster from your leg as it dropped on the ground with a loud clatter. His hand moved further to your flimsy lace thong to feel your sex. 

“So wet already, love? I haven't even touched you properly” you can hear the smirk in his voice. His hand goes to unzip your dress as he leans in for a kiss but you stop him placing two fingers on his lips slowly tracing them. 

“Bedroom?” you ask breathing heavily.

“Upstairs left” he informs between shallow breaths.

You gave him a peck on his cheek and made your way up the stairs. Tom’s eyes never left you as he watched you slide the thin straps of your dress off your shoulders and dropping it off on the floor striding away in just your strapless bra and thong your heels clacking against the marble floor. Tom scoffed in amusement a toothy grin forming on his face . You were really something who was just driving him crazy.

The moment he walked in the bedroom he felt himself twitch inside his pants. There you were sitting in the middle at the edge of the bed slightly leaning on your palms with your legs crossed one above the other. You looked like a viscous siren slowly entrapping him with your charm and beauty. 

“Nice bedroom” You gently smoothed the silk sheets with your hand.

“Glad you liked it” he said smiling.

“Are you just gonna stand over there?” You unclipped your bra and lazily dropped it on the floor putting on a show for him as you lifted a hand pointing a finger motioning him to come closer. A low groan escaped from his mouth at the sight of your exposed breasts as he strolled towards you unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his body drinking in your almost naked form with lustful eyes. You subconsciously licked your lips marveling his taut muscles. He tilted your chin up as you gazed in his brown eyes with parted lips.

“God you’re gonna be the death of me” he mumbles in a husky voice.

“That was the plan all the time, I can then take over your mob” you giggle playfully.

“You minx” he knelt down to capture your red tinted lips passionately tongues clashing against each other as you ran your fingers across his abdomen, nails scraping his skin. He gently pushes you down on the mattress as you shift back in the middle of the bed. He spreads your legs to accommodate himself as he crawls up to be at level to your face pressing a soft kiss to your swollen lips. Goosebumps covered your skin as you felt his bulge brushing on your thighs. You tilted your head to the side as he took the opportunity to suck marks on the nape of your neck. One hand squeezing your ass the other palming your breast as he placed butterfly kisses all over your skin.

“So pretty” he mumbles, pressing kisses between the valley of your breasts,you shuddered when he flicked his tongue over your sensitive bud.

“Oh” you gasped when he wrapped his mouth around your breast sucking the nipple between his teeth, kneading the other fingers pinching and tugging on it. After paying equal attention to the other one too before continuing his journey south. Your stomach flutters as his lips trail down your rib cage, navel the cold gold chain dangling down his neck feeling ticklish against your hot skin. He placed a soft kiss over your soaked panties and you felt that your body was set to fire as you gasped lightly chest heaving up and down. A smirk forms on his face as he moves to kiss your inner thighs ignoring the place where you needed him the most.

“Please” you let out a quiet whimper

“Please what darling?” he whispers with a husky voice. 

“Touch me” 

“I’m touching you love” he lightly chuckles, you whined in protest. “You gotta be more specific with your demands, love, what do you need?” he coos.

“I-I need you, your mouth” you breathed out. 

“See that wasn’t so hard” he practically rips off your thong and throws the shredded fabric away letting out a low growl at the sight of your glistening cunt. He hooked his arms to your thighs, the rings on his fingers felt cold against your skin. He licks a long stripe up your folds sending jolts of pleasure up your body making you squirm in his hold.

“So sweet” he mumbles against your heat. You let out a soft gasp, your hands threading into his soft brown curls as he swirled his tongue through your folds.

You cry out when his tongue flicks your swollen clit giving his hair a harsh tug he groans into your heat. He continued to suck on your clit between his lips pushing a thick digit inside you. Your body arched bucking your hips into his mouth he had to place a hand on your lower stomach to keep you in place. He then adds another finger pumping it in and out of you his teeth grazing your sensitive bud soothing it after with his tongue immediately. 

“Fuck!” You moaned feeling euphoric eyes fluttering shut as he devoured you. Your body tensed up when he added another finger to your heat, your one hand was pulling his hair painfully and the other squeezing your breast rolling your nipple between your fingers. He curled his fingers hitting your spot sending you over the edge.

“C’mon love, let it go want you to cum all over my fingers” he moaned into your heat the vibrations leading you to tumble down the edge as you came undone around his fingers. He helped you ride your high still sucking on your clit, your legs trembled as he lapped up all your juices. He pulled away after sometime his chin glistening with your arousal. 

He got rid of his dress pants along with his boxers and then crawled over to you. You gazed into his warm brown eyes still in your post orgasmic haze as you pulled him down to capture his lips with an urgent need. You tasted yourself on his lips as he deepened the kiss grinding his hips into yours. 

A soft gasp escaped your lips when you felt the tip of his member brushed against your entrance. He gripped his member giving it a few pumps before lining up against your core. You placed a hand flat on his stomach signalling him to stop. He knitted his brow in confusion when you flipped him over to be on top him sitting on the back of your knee straddling his waist. 

“I wanna ride you” you whisper in a sultry voice and his lips curl up to a smirk.

“Then go ahead, darling” he shuffles back a little resting himself comfortably against the headboard. You brought your hand to your mouth and gave it lick before grabbing his member using it for lubrication, slowly pumping his length and lining it up to your weeping core. Your breath hitched when you felt his tip slide through your entrance stretching your walls in a nice way. You slowly sank down on his length feeling so full of him. You stayed like that, your walls warm and snug squeezing him like a vice. Tom groaned when you clenched around him. 

“Oh god Y/N please move or I'm not gonna last for another minute” you leaned down to kiss him starting to move your hips slowly adjusting to his thick shaft.

“Shit” He hissed as you lifted yourself hand gripping on his thighs for leverage to go a little faster, the soft sound of your skin slapping against each other filled the room. Your stomach clenched as you paced up and down his cock, each time filling you up to the hilt. His hands held your hips, fingers digging in your skin groans rumbled in Tom’s throat as he clenched his jaw. He gazed at you with hooded eyes smitten by the way your back arches towards him and your tits bounce with every thrust.

You started to feel a little exhausted, a thin sheen of sweat lining your bodies as you slowed down your pace. Tom’s hands slid down to your ass, spreading your cheeks as he took control, thrusting up into you. You jolted forward moaning out loud, grasping on to his shoulders tightly for support. 

“Just because you're on the top don't think you're in control darling” he says cheekily you let out a light chuckle at his comment before whimpering when his cock hit your sweet spot.

He lifted his knees, planting the heels of his feet into the mattress for leverage as he began to fuck you roughly. He grunted, feeling your walls clench around his cock with every thrust of his hips. You leaned down to kiss him sloppily he reciprocates by slipping his tongue into your mouth swirling it inside your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as you felt a tight knot build inside your stomach.

“Tom” you moan breathlessly, eyes squeezing shut as your hands slide down his shoulder to his chest nails scratching his skin.

“Gonna cum again for me love?” Tom murmured against your lips as he spanked your ass lightly. You nodded your head vigorously starting to roll your hips desperately. He brought his thumb to your swollen clit and rubbed circles as the coil inside you snapped and you screamed out your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. Tom wasn’t too far either as he continued rutting his hips and soon he was spilling inside you.

“Fuck.” He moaned as his face screwed up in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing as he emptied his seed into your tight pussy, not letting go of his grip on your body. You collapsed onto his chest panting both of you catching your breath, your walls still pulsating around his cock, deeply buried inside you. He caressed your back gently, your chest pressed to his, head resting over his heart as you listened to his steady heartbeat while your fingers fiddled with the chain around his neck. He took your hand and kissed on your knuckles gently brushing his thumb over them lovingly.

“I really like you” he finally spoke out

“What?” you frowned, still a bit dizzy.

“I think I have fallen in love with you Y/N” he confesses softly as you straighten yourself to look him in the eyes.

“Are you asking me out when you are literally balls deep inside me?” you snicker raising your eyebrows.

“I’m serious Y/N” he cradles your face with both of his hands “the moment I saw you I knew you are the one I have been waiting for all my life. A strong, independent and fearless woman who doesn’t need anyone, you are a hell of a queen, Y/N. I want this queen to be only mine, together we can rule the world love. I don’t want this to be a one night thing I want to make love to you every night, kiss every inch of your body and appreciate you, adore you” he rants

“The last part sounded a little creepy though” you chuckled “Well I do like you too my king let’s just take things slow and see where it goes maybe?”

“Sure my queen” he smiles as you kiss him softly.

................................................................................

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagines #mob!tom #mob!tom holland #tom holland fluff

[missymurphy1985]

The Extra (Part Five)

Warning - serious sexual tension....

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

This scene was going to be tricky enough for you, but you couldn't help but feel sorry for Cillian. He'd been so hard in his hotel room earlier and you could see he was still struggling with it now. Fully done up in his Tommy costume, positioned behind you, even through the thick padding in his trousers you could feel the heat. He leaned down over your back, his lips at your ear.

"That orgasm you gave me earlier - repeat that and you'll be fine," a quick squeeze of your hip under your dress and you felt ready. Extremely turned on and desperate for him to do this for real, but ready.

Anto called action and the thrusting behind you began. His groin never leaving the back of your thighs. It wasn't anywhere near as difficult to make the necessary moans and groans this time. You couldn't resist glancing at him in the mirror behind the bar. His face so full of concentration, the occasional bite at his own lip. Ten thrusts, then climax, that was the direction, and you watched his face change. You gave your best 'climax' possible, gripping onto the edge of the bar for dear life. His voice behind you hitched, his hand on your back as his own 'climax' peaked. The thought of him doing that for real later that night made your core throb, but you didn't have time to focus on it. Within seconds of him 'pulling out', Kimber's boys were there. Tommy was held back by four of them, while a fifth grabbed you and sliced across your throat. Your eyes wide, staring into Tommy's as you fell to the floor.

"CUT!!! Holy shit that was intense! Whatever you guys did in rehearsals, it worked!" Anto cheered, helping you off the floor. The fake blood around your neck was cold and sticky, Cillian couldn't help but laugh.

"You look delightful," he smirked. You responded by flicking as much of it as possible at him, catching his square in the side of the head.

"You have no idea how much I've loved having you as part of the show y/n... I really owe you one," Anto have you an awkward hug, trying to avoid the blood. You promised to catch up with him later.

"It's certainly been fun, hasn't it?" You said to Cillian as you both walked out.

"Who said the fun ends here?"

"Come on Cillian, you're a Hollywood movie star, I'm a university lecturer with no expectations whatsoever. And I'm okay with that by the way, I came into this single, I'll leave it single, I'm good with that." He pulled your arm gently, leading you off into a quiet corner before you headed into makeup.

"Listen, I'm not the kind of guy who fucks and fucks off. Forget about the Hollywood bullshit - I've never signed up to that nonsense in my life. I know you don't have any expectations, but I kinda do.."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I want to get to know you better. I want to take you out, I want to visit you when I'm not working. I want to see where this goes? Don't you?" You were speechless. And stunned.

"Really? Me? You want to be with me?"

"I've only known you a week y/n, I'm not asking you to marry me, I just.. I'd like to see you again. After you leave tomorrow." His hands clasped yours, stroking your fingers with his thumbs.

"Oh my god you're serious aren't you?"

"Come to my room tonight, after the wrap party. I'll show you just how serious I am." He pulled you close, not caring that you were in the middle of a corridor full of cast members bustling around. One small, gentle kiss on your lips, a squeeze of your waist, goosebumps all over your back.

"I'll see you at the wrap party then.."

"Looking forward to it."

************************************************************

The party was already in full swing by the time you and Liane arrived. Even your students had been invited, which made things awkward for you - you certainly didn't feel comfortable being close to Cillian with your class so close. You'd text him before you arrived to warn him no funny business in front of your class. His reply made you nervous, yet excited all at once.

"I'll behave if you do."

You'd be chatting to your students when a hand would brush casually across your lower back.

He'd be talking to Paul when he'd glance over and catch you looking at him, your lower lip between your teeth.

You'd be on the dance floor with Liane, Sophie and Natasha when you'd gyrate your hips in his direction, making sure his eyes were on you.

You'd never felt so desired and wanted - every time he caught your eye your heart would dance. You felt like a giddy schoolgirl again.

You went outside for a cigarette and some fresh air, two hands suddenly grabbing your waist and dragging you round the corner, out of sight of everyone. You didn't scream, you saw him following you, you just giggled as he pinned you against the wall, his body pressed against yours. A quick glance around the corner to make sure no one was there and his lips were on yours. His hand on your cheek, up into your hair, his groin pressing hard against yours.

"The fuck are you doing to me..." He groaned, biting your lower lip.

"I don't know what you're talking about Cillian..."

"I thought you said you were going to behave?" He smirked, brushing his nose against yours. The building was on fire, that was the only explanation for how fucking hot you were right now.

"You can talk, undressing me with your eyes all night."

"Can we leave now..."

"Nope, still got dinner to get through, them my awards for the students to give out and Anto will definitely make an embarrassing speech. Only another few hours and I'm all yours for as long as you want me. Did I mention I'd cleared my diary for the weekend?"

"I've got you all weekend have I?"

"If you want me?"

"You have no fucking idea..." You have him a quick kiss, before straightening your dress out and heading back into the bar. You didn't even look back but you heard him wolf whistle as you walked away.

You were handed a table plan for the dinner in the restaurant of the hotel as you walked back in, Liane grinning at you.

"Top table Y/n, with the cast! And look who you're sat next to," she winked. You never told her what had happened in Cillian's hotel room, but you didn't exactly deny it when she asked you either. This was going to be interesting.

Sitting at the table between Cillian and Paul, you felt so odd. What had started as a university trip had ended with you being one of the stars of the show and potentially ending up in bed with Cillian Murphy. You had to keep pinching yourself.

"Hungry, y/n?" Cillian leaned over and whispered in your ear.

"Depends what's on the menu."

"Not sure if you can handle it."

"We'll see about that. Now behave, we've got the whole crew watching us." The thrill of it all excited you beyond belief but you kept your game face on.

Dinner was served, he was remarkably well behaved but he was distracted by Helen, who spent the meal talking to him about the potential for series two. You couldn't help the pang of jealousy that you wouldn't actually be in it though. You were dragged from your thoughts by a hand on your knee. Slowly inching up your thigh under the dress you were wearing. You clenched your legs together firmly, crossing them, and the hand went away, a quiet chuckle from next to you.

Dinner over, speeches given, awards given to your students, the night was drawing to a close. You'd had your fair share of wine, but the adrenaline was coursing through your veins so much you didn't even feel tipsy.

"Ready to head back y/n?" Liane asked, grabbing her car keys. Antibiotics had rendered her the designated driver. You shook your head and pulled her to one side. You made her swear to keep quiet, and told her you wouldn't be coming back with her.. and why.

"Oh my god you're fucking with me??" She shrieked and you punched her arm.

"Shh!! Don't say a word Liane please, we're taking it slow, see how it goes.."

"You absolute legend - go have fun I'll sort the kids out in the morning back on the coach. Call me tomorrow okay, I wanna know EVERYTHING!" She kissed your cheek and grinned at you, before heading off to drive back to the hotel.

Two hands snaked around your waist, lips against your neck. You went to pull away before noticing it was only the two of you and a few of the cast left in the room.

"You coming y/n?"

"I'd better be."

#cillian murphy #cillian smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fanfic #cillian x smut #cillian murphy x smut

[inspiteallthedanger]

about The Long And Winding Road, which one do you think as the more heartbreaking: “you’ve never known the many ways i’ve tried / you’ve always known the many ways i’ve tried “ ?

OMG. This is such a good (by which I mean painful) question. To answer, let's consider both options and their implications, shall we? Because that's a normal way to answer this question, and not thinking too much about things.

You've never known: Here we have toiling for years and never being recognized for that effort. The thing that destroys me, is the idea that the person who you've loved, given yourself to and tried to open up with, never really knew you at all. They never understood you. Not only that, they've thought the worse of you. The fact he's saying this at all (repeatedly) suggests he's being accused of not trying/caring.

Upside: Potential to pretend you never cared anyway.

Downside: nagging suspicion that you could have done more, you could have kept trying to show how much you did care and maybe that would have made a difference.

You've always known: They did see you and it... didn't matter. It reminds me of the James Acaster line, "What if every relationship you've ever been in, is someone slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?" You have been seen, assessed and then you've been tossed aside.

Upside: there's no doubt you tried your best.

Downside: it wasn't good enough.

Conclusion, this is going to be personal, huh? Would you rather be perceived and rejected or realize the person never really got you and thinks the worst of you? AHHHHH. I think. I think. The second one is easier to recover from? So the first is more sad, but only in the long term, because in the moment the second one is way more painful.

Absolutely devastating to have watched Paul vacillate wildly between these two concepts ever since he wrote this. Cool stuff. Not personally wounding to me at all.

While I was writing this I got to thinking about how this confusion is why we see Paul go from apologetic to however you want to term the vibe of RAM.

Option two gives you RAM because it's a very knowing, "You've rejected a good thing here, buddy, and also fuck you." You can see how it'd be easier to be mad about that option, once you're over the initial drinking yourself into oblivion for a few weeks. But, the first one... you can see someone like Paul who likes to Do Well and be Recognized for Doing Well, feeling like a failure and wanting to make amends, even if he's not sure how to do that. Plus, John's behaviour probably at a certain point must have read like he was right the first time.

What do you think, Nonny (or anyone)? Which is sadder?

#beth rambles #mclennon #sorry #this got way longer and deeper than I meant it too #hope it makes sense

[triplexdoublex]

Alpha Omega

Pairings: Colson x Reader

Warnings/Tags: alcohol, drunk, attempted rape (colson saves you before ANYTHING happens), potentially triggering dialogue about it the next morning, strangers to friends to lovers, smut, squirting 💦

A/N: Inspired by a weird dream I had and a real tweet I read, the person Jake in the fic was actually Jake Paul in my dream (ew). If you think the beginning backstory may trigger you and just want to read their friendship turn to lovers/smut, then scroll to the 2ND time skip marked with stars (***)

College mid-terms were finally over, which meant the same thing every year: the Alpha Omega annual fraternity party! It was the biggest party on campus every year, and even though it’s not really your scene, you decided to attend this year. Maybe it was the stress of mid-terms weighing extra heavy on your mind, but you needed an escape. But now, five full drinks and some shots later, you find yourself stumbling around the drink and keg area in the kitchen with a half-empty red solo cup, wondering how the hell you're supposed to find your way back to your dorm to sleep off what was obviously a very poor decision.

“Hey pretty thing,” you hear, suddenly feeling an arm slink around your waist.

“Do I know you?” you ask, disoriented and confused as your eyes try to focus on the face of the person touching you.

“The name’s Jake,” he shouts over the music, guiding you out of the kitchen and into the main party room. “You should come back to my room, you look like you need to lay down,” he says with ill-intent, but you’re too intoxicated to argue, letting him lead you up the stairs.

Even though most of your senses are impaired right now, you can’t mistake the distinct, pungent smell of weed wafting towards you as Jake escorts you down the hall once the two of you reach the top of the stairs.

“Yo, Jake!” a voice shouts from an open door, smoke billowing out as you pass.

“Hey Cols, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, man,” he says, blowing a smoke ring as he passes the blunt to his roommate Pete. “Wanna hit?”

“Maybe later, gotta get this pretty little thing back to room,” Jake answers.

“Aye, she alright? Colson questions, quickly rising to his feet.

“Yeah, pal she don’t look too good,” Pete coughs.

“Nah, man, that’s fucked up. She’s gooone!” Colson says getting a closer look at you. ‘You can’t talk her back to your room like this. That’s just wrong.”

“The fuck I can!” Jake retorts. “Look,” he says turning to you and lifting your slumped head. “You wanna go to my room with me don’t you, sexy?”

“N-nno” You slur, drunkenly shaking your head ‘Yes’

“See, she shook her ‘yes’,” Jake argues.

“Yeah, and her mouth said fuckin’ NO, Dawg!” Colson snaps back.

“Listen, I’m taking her to my room and there ain’t shit you can do about it!”

“The fuck there is!” Colson swings, his closed fist making contact with the side of Jake’s face, knocking him out cold.

***************************

The next thing you know you’re opening your eyes; an unfamiliar room and bed coming into view. You slowly sit up holding your throbbing head

“Hey, you’re awake,” says a soft voice to your right. Quickly, you turn your head in a panic to see a tall blonde sitting on the edge of the bed.

“W-who are you? Where.. Where am I?” you ask on the verge of tears.

“My name's Colson,” he reaches out for your hand. “I —”

“Don’t touch me!” You yell, scooting backwards pulling  the covers up over you when you realize all you’re wearing is a thin, white, mens t-shirt. “Where are my clothes?”

“Aye, yo, it’s not like that. Relax, listen,” he stands with his hands up backing away from you. “I slept on the couch, I just wanted —”

“Where are my clothes!?” you demand.

“You threw up on them,” he answers.

“So lemme get this right … I threw up and you took off my clo —”

“NO! No! God no!” he says waving his arms. “My roommate Pete —”

“So your roommate Pete took off my clothes…?”

“NOOO! Please, just listen. I swear I was just trying to help you and keep you safe.” The desperation in his voice causes you to let down your guard a little. “I was saying, my roommate Pete. His girl. She stayed over last night and I asked her to help get you cleaned up and changed. I saw nothing I swear,” he puts his hands up again.

You sit there in silence, confused, trying to process everything he just said.

“You really don’t remember anything from last night? Do you?” He asks, stepping slowly back towards the bed.”

“No,” you shake your head, disappointed in yourself.

He cautiously begins to sit back down on the edge of the bed then pauses “Can I?” 

You nod ‘yes’ and he takes a seat.

“Yo, you were in really rough shape last night. I’m assuming you had too much to drink?”

“Yeah,” you admit looking ashamed.

“Aye, we’ve all been there. I’m just glad you’re ok,” he smiles. “Me and my homie Pete were just up here smoking when we seen some dude we know trying to take you back to his room. I could tell you were wrecked. Fuck, you where barely conscious. I tried to tell him how wrong that was but he wouldn’t listen so I knocked him the fuck out. I didn’t know where your dorm was or if you came to the party with anyone and I wanted to make sure you had a safe place to sleep it off.”

“ Thank you. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” you apologize.

“Nah I completely understand,” he accepts your apology. ‘That’s why I wanted to be here when you woke up, I figured you might be a little confused.”

“More than a little,” you let out a small laugh.

Colson cracks a smile, then heads to his dresser, pulling out a pair of his athletic shorts. “Here, tell you what,” he says, tossing the shorts on the bed. “ Imma head out there —” he points to the door. Let you get dressed and I’ll drive you back to your dorm. Cool?”

“Cool,” you answer with a thumbs up and a smile as he steps out the room, closing the door behind him.

*******************

“Seriously, thank you so much,” you say when he pulls up to your dorm.”What can I do for you? I feel like I can’t thank you enough.”

“Nothing. Any respectable man would have done the same thing,” he says.”I can only hope that one day if god forbid my daughter even finds herself in that position that someone would do the same for her.”

“Awww, you have a daughter?”

“Yeah,” he smiles like a proud father, lifting his backside from the drivers seat to pull out his wallet. “Her name’s Casie,” he says opening to her picture.  

“She’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he says, then tucking his wallet back into his pocket. “She lives with her mom but I still see her all the time.”

“I’m glad. You seem like you’d be a great father.” you smile. “Thanks again,” you add, stepping out of the car.

“Hey, ummm, wait,” he calls out the car window as you walk towards your dorm.

“Yeah?” you turn back to face him.

“Ain’t you in that bitch Mrs. Pearson’s creative writing class with me?”

“Oh yeah,” you thought he looked familiar. “You usually sit up in the back row right?”

“If you mean ‘take a nap in the back row’, then yeah that’s me”, he laughs.

“Well see you bright and early tomorrow then I guess,” you smile.

“Yeah, see ya,” he smiles back before driving off.

**************************************

The two of you became quite close after that. Gradually moving your seats closer and closer to be near each other in class and pairing up for projects together. You even got to meet his daughter Casie briefly once before her mom picked her up from their weekend visit. You spent a lot of your free time together.It was amazing how you could do absolutely nothing when you were together yet there was no awkward silence or moments: much like right now where you're both hanging out in your dorm just laying on your bed scrolling aimlessly through your phones.

“Oh my god why are men so stupid?” You blurt out in laughter, showing him a tweet on your phone. “This dude really had the audacity to make a whole ass thread about how to eat pussy but he obviously has no clue what he’s talking about; girls don’t squirt out of their clits!’ No wonder girls never cum and have to fake it. Ya’ll mother fuckers don’t even know where the clit IS, and I’m pretty sure squirting is just something made up by the porn industry cuz that shit never happens in real life.”

“Aye, nah I hope you aint including me in that, cuz lemme tell you, ya boy knows where the clit is!  My girls always cum,” he smirks. 

“Yeah, okay,” you roll your eyes. “How do you know they’re not faking?”

“Cuz squirting ain’t made up, that shits VERY real! Maybe not every time but it has happened so I know they weren’t faking,” he smiles. “You mean to tell me a guy has never made you cum?

“Uhn uh” you shake your head no.

“And you’ve never squirt... even ..uhh..by yourself...or with whatever toys you chicks use?”

“I mean I’ve cum alone, but never squirt. No,” you admit blushing. You and Colson have never discussed anything sexual with each other before.

“That’s bananas, dawg!” he exclaims, slapping the bed.

The room grows quiet, the silence feeling awkward for the first time in your whole friendship.

“Aye, uh you trust me right?” Colson breaks the silence

“Yeah, of course, with my life!” you exclaim.”Why?”

“Trust me enough to uhmm...show you what I can do?”

“Are--are you saying you wanna — “

“I wanna make you cum,” he blurts out, cutting you off. “If- if you’ll let me that is.”

“I...Uhmm..I..”, you stumble while thinking it over.

“Sorry… uhhh let’s just forget this whole conversation, okay?” he says ashamed, thinking he made you uncomfortable.

“Why not,” you blurt out nonchalantly.

“Wait!, why not, like… like you … you wanna —”

You silently shake your head yes biting your lip.

“Oh shit! For real?” He says in surprise, getting up off the bed. “Uhh, c’mere,” he calls you over to the edge of the bed.

You do as you're told crawling over to the edge, sitting with your legs dangling off the bed. “You know, you don’t gotta go easy with me,” you smirk waiting for him to make his next move.

“Good, I wasn’t planning on it,” he says, immediately flipping you over and yanking your panties off from under your dress.

“Ugh you boys are all the same,” you groan looking back at him assuming he’s just gonna start fucking you from behind. “Haven’t any of you even heard of foreplay?”

“Don’t tell me no one’s ever eaten your pussy from the back before?” he questions, kneeling down behind you. 

With both hands he grabs your ass making it jiggle for him before delving his tongue between your folds, his tongue exploring every crevice. You gasp at the sensation and feel his muffled laugh buzz against your core, intensifying your pleasure. Gripping your ass tighter, he alternates between plunging a firm, pointed tongue in and out of your wet slit and assaulting your clit with a series of rapid fire kitten licks. Your legs weaken with each lash of his tongue, your body slowly collapsing against the bed.

“Keep that ass up, girl,” he pauses briefly to say. You try with all your might but it’s no use; Colson has reduced your legs to a pile of jello. Roughly he tosses you onto your back, spreads your thighs open and gets back to work. Keeping his tongue focused on your clit, he slides two fingers deep inside of you, his lengthy digits perfectly pressing against your G spot. “I can feel this pussy tightening around my fingers, I know you're close, right?” He pauses to ask cockily.

All you can manage is to nod, ‘yes’, your bottom lip clenched tightly between your teeth as you look down locking eyes with colson; the fiery passion in them is a stark contrast to their ice blue hue.

Colson quickens the pace of his fingers, the sloshing of your wetness audible as he brings you closer to the edge. Then resting his free hand on your mound he gently pulls back the hood of your clit with his thumb exposing the most sensitive part sending your body into convulsions when he rapidly flicks his tongue against it.

“Colson, FUCK!!! ” you scream out in pleasure as the most intense orgasm of your life rips through you. “Oh my god... oh my god,” you chant in pleasure and shock as you realize you’re actually squirting. Colson doesn’t miss a beat continuing to work you through your high, relishing in the mess you're making all over his face and fingers. When you finally stop twitching he removes his fingers and sits up with a smug look. He pulls off his shirt, wipes his glistening face with it, then tosses it on the floor and hurriedly starts undoing his belt.

“You didn’t think I was just gonna stop at one, did you?” He says cockily pulling himself from his boxers. “Awhh, fuck yeah, sooo wet and tight,” he groans as he pushes in, then bringing his hand between your two bodies, and begins to rub your clit as he thrusts.

“Mhmmmhhmm,” you moan, the bundle of nerves still sensitive from your prior orgasm.

“Told ya I could make you feel good,” he teases, his breath ghosting over that one reactive spot on your neck just behind your ear, causing you to let out a little squeak. “You like that?” He laughs, nipping at the same spot while his hips roll in like the tide, crashing repeatedly against the shore of your pelvis. He nips and kisses along your jawline making his way to your mouth, harshly tugging your bottom lip with a groan. Your tongue reaches out, searching for him as he pulls back.

“Fucking tease,” you whimper.

“That desperate to taste yourself on me?” He chaffs.

To be honest you’re desperate for everything he’s giving you right now; you’re body has never felt such pleasure. So when he offers his mouth back to you, you happily welcome the tart taste of yourself still present on his ravenous tongue. Your mouths move in a hungry rhythm, following suit with your hips. Your breaths and moans echo each others, increasing in speed and volume as climax nears. He can tell you’re so so close and he knows just how to get you there. He  grabs your legs pulling you flush against him and throws your legs over his shoulder, keeping your thighs pinned to his chest with both arms as continues to pound you.

“Mhmmm… Yeah, Yeah, Fuck me! Fuck me!”  you whine needily clawing at the sheets as you enjoy his cock from a whole new angle, slamming into your g-spot at the perfect tempo. It’s just a few more thrusts until he has you completely undone, cumming for the second time today.

“Jesus Christ, Colson” you moan breathily as you ride it out.

‘Ughggg,” he grunts loudly, quickly pulling  out, your legs falling to hips as he finishes on your stomach. 

“Can’t believe you were out here talkin’ ‘bout men don’t know where the clit is and no man ever made you cum,” he says mockingly after he catches his breath. “Nah, girl, you just been fucking with some losers. Gotta get you a real man like me.” 

“Well looks like I got myself one now,” you smirk. “ because we will definitely be doing that again!”

“Awhhh shiiiit,” he says loudly, his hand covering his smile. “ Got you addicted to this dick already, huh?” He teases.

“Shut up,Colson-,” you laugh, chucking a pillow at him “- and go get me something to clean off my stomach.”

#mkg #mkg smut #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly smut #colson baker #colson baker smut #colson x reader #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly x reader #EST #XX #Pete Davidson #colson baker x reader #alpha omega #AU #mgk fanfic #machine gun Kelly fanfic #Colson baker reader

[alittlefrenchtree]

so,

Dune.

I’m going to start quoting my own words. A few weeks back, I’d said that, in my opinion, for the movie to be great and a success, Hollywood has to respect the precious source material they had in their hands and Dune fans and readers have to remember that a movie can’t be a book and if the movie is made for them, it’s not only made for them and has to adapt to a larger audience, to people who don’t know anything about the universe and most of them never will. The key — for me — was for Denis and the whole team to find that balance. And I think they did a pretty great job with that. Do I think the movie will met boxoffice expectations? I don’t know. It’s been clear for decades that Dune isn’t, by its very own nature, a story for everybody.

It’s a beautiful adaptation. Of course, it’s visually mind-blowing and everything look incredible. The music and the sound are very powerful sometimes a bit agressive with some interesting takes and choices. It might be not my favorite Zimmer work but it does work pretty damn well. There is a boldness and an unexpectied aspect in the whole OST that makes it quite unique. It feels perfectly adapted to year… 10191 or whatever. Or rather, most of the tracks probably aren’t something I’ll listen to on a regular basis on a playlist (unlike some of other Zimmer work and except maybe for the House Atreides and the Paul’s dream tracks 💚) but the soundtrack does serve the movie quite perfectly.

The movie did grew on me on some aspects. For certains choices of their, I was pretty confused in the beginning, thinking why the hell did they do this like that but, later in the movie, these same choices somehow start to make sense and even to be likeable.

The whole casting is really strong with solid performances. I had some expectations for Rebecca and Tim regarding of certain scenes or aspects of their characters and they did not disappoint. An eventual part II would be almost more importantly for the depth of their characters than for the story. They only had time to make baby foetus of the characters they’re meant to be and they really deserve a movie to unfold their whole potential.

Most of the things we’ve already seen/suspect (the Atreides being given some humanity/compassionate/relatable traits ; Lady Jessica being bit cut off) were indeed there. Knowing what to expect made things easier for me. They didn’t do that bad for Jessica so it was fine, even if one of my favorite chapter about her didn’t make it to the movie (but it made sense since the said chapter mostly depends on a story line that has be rightfully erased). I still regret that Hollywood (because I’m almost positively certain that it’s something coming from the producers) felt, as always, the need to reinforce the relatable ‘good ones’ vibes in the Atreides side when it’s something that has very little reason to be in Dune. According to my sister (who was my control-viewer since she hasn’t read and didn’t know much about Dune), they didn’t make them too relatable at all. She was actually surprised hearing me say it’s worse in the book.

On the other hand, they made some clever adjustments, fixed things that didn’t make much sense in the book. Most of the choices they made, including simplify the whole story, were good ones for the sake of the movie, in my opinion. What we’re loosing a bit in terms of poetry of the writing and depth in some philosophical aspects is counterbalanced by other qualities. The movie isn’t trying to be a book, it uses its own strenghts and assets as an audio-visual medium. Even the most Hollywood-y aspect of the movie are used pretty in a pretty smart way. Even for when I was ready to roll my eyes, they showed me were and why they were going this way and it made sense, so I’m ok with it.

I don’t know if I had more thoughts… Of course, as someone who read the book very recently and in great details, I was doomed to be frustrated about a couple things. These are a few lines of Paul that I was waiting to hear and that has been cut or putted in other people’s mouth. I’m pretty sure they can still be put back in his own mouth in part II so I keep my fingers crossed. Overall, I did enjoy the movie very much and I think they all did a good job with something very difficult to translate. I got chills a couple of times and also a couple of starts/jolt which I wasn’t expecting and were very welcome in the experience of the movie.

I very often need a few times to fully embrace an definitive opinion about something so I’m planning to see it again (at least) a couple of times next week. I’ll probably have a few things to add by then.

Again, if you have question about something specific I didn’t mention, feel free to ask 💜

PS: sorry if it’s a bit all over the place or not completly clear. I’m still a bit tired and English is hard anyway 😅

#dune (2021) #dune review

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

It’s Just a Movie: Part 3 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 2034

Now, while you were technically in a life or death situation with four vampires, you couldn't lie to yourself and say that you hadn't wanted to explore Santa Carla at least once in your life. Not Santa Cruz. Santa Carla. Time had changed the boardwalk, the styles, the people. But, now, you were right in it. The actual 1980's Santa Carla. You climbed off of Dwayne's bike, and you couldn't hide your awe as you looked down the length of the coast.

The boardwalk was littered with teenagers with wild hair, piercings, and people of all sorts. There were games, rides, and bonfires already lighting up the beach. And not a cellphone in sight. It was weird, and suddenly the piece of technology felt heavy in your pocket. You had almost forgotten that you had it, and your hand went to smooth over the rectangle in your back pocket. Suddenly, all didn't seem lost. Though, you quickly reminded yourself that this was the eighties. No wifi. No data. Hell, you'd be lucky if you still had battery. The only thing you'd have access to were the pictures and downloads you had saved on your phone. Then, it hit you. Your contact list. While you couldn't call them through your smart phone, you assumed, maybe you could call your friends if you managed to find a phone-booth or something...Or, god, a landline. Even if it was only a semblance of a plan, it felt better than nothing. Now, you just had to figure out a way to ditch the four of them so you could get your hands on a phone and avoid becoming their next meal. 

"I'm guessing you haven't lived here long." David said, and you nearly jumped out of your skin. You looked over, and watched as he walked past you. The other three followed, with Marko grabbing one of your hands and pulling you to follow them. You supposed you hadn't been keeping your amazement subtle, and you already knew that he, and perhaps Marko, were the most observant of the four boys. Your voice was small as you supplied a simple,

"Yeah, just got here." You made a mental edit of your plan. You had to find a phone and ditch them before they found out you weren't exactly from here in more ways than one. You had a feeling that lying to him would be futile, and it was technically true. You really had just got there. He hummed, and then looked back at you. It was apparently Markos turn to pull you close, though the boy was closer to your height and chose to wrap an arm around your waist instead. He sent you a friendly smile, and you repeatedly reminded yourself over and over again that these four were not to be trusted. Horror movie. Killers. David sent you a smile, and, while it was as charming as his voice, it did nothing to calm your nerves.

"Explains your friends. Not everyone in Santa Carla is as nice as we are." David said, and you nearly wanted to laugh. Yeah, you were sure they were the nicest gang of killer vampires in the whole town. Maybe even the whole state. Instead, you hummed and said,

"Yeah, thanks for the ride. You guys...well, I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met you." Now, that was the truth. You weren't just being sentimental with that statement. If you had been stuck here with not a familiar face in sight, in a strange town, and no way to call your friends? Well, you'd bet that you'd currently be having a panic attack in front of the movie theater. Not that you weren't just a few wrong moves away from having one right now. Paul practically jumped right next to you, squishing himself into your side and chirping a quick,

"You're welcome," before he added, "Y'know, your friends are kinda lame. Why don't you just hang out with us tonight?" He offered. Really, you swore that if you didn't know that these boys were vampires that you'd think they really might be some of the nicer people in Santa Carla. It wasn't like they knew you. But here they were, giving you rides, taking you to meet your friends, offering to hang out with you- Crap. You did a mental head shake. You had always made fun of Michael for falling so easily under their spell but here you were. You knew that they could be dangerous and, still, you were starting to think that you could trust them. You looked around for a moment, seeing four expectant set of eyes on you. Marko even tried to win you over by saying,

"C'mon, we're loads more fun." And, David, the charming bastard he was, gave you the most expectant look of all. 

"Yeah, c'mon, y/n." The way he said your name, it reminded you of exactly the way he'd said Michael's. You could practically guess what was going to come out of his mouth next. "How far are you willing to go?" It didn't seem nearly as menacing as it had when he'd said it to Michael, but it effected you all the same. He'd used a similar tone. Gauging. Taunting. Like he was playing a game of chicken and seeing if he could egg you on. You instinctively looked away from his face, and to the most neutral of the four vampires. But the look Dwayne was giving you didn't help, and you watched as he looked over your face. Just his stare could make you on edge. You said the best excuse you could think of, but even it sounded terrible to your own ears.

"I really shouldn't...they're expecting me." You said, and you internally cringed. It was a lie, and, like you expected, you watched as David seemed to be able to immediately tell. Or perhaps he was frowning from your refusal. Apparently, you weren't willing to go very far. You couldn't really tell, but the blondes besides you seemed hardly convinced. Though, you couldn't get the way David frowned out of your mind. Sure, Michael had been stupid to follow the boys and let himself get egged on, but he had lived. They had kept him around. That was what lead you to adding, "But- but, maybe... we could check out some stuff on the way?"

You hadn't known what to expect, but bouncing from store to store definitely wasn't it. They took you to a music store, which was filled to the brim with old, technically new, cassettes and vinyl. You managed to surprise them a little bit with your taste in music, as the twenty-first century had made it far too easy to listen to stuff from decades before. You were even tempted to buy some stuff, as you were sure you wouldn't find them for nearly as cheap back home. But, you had to be careful not to slip up when they asked you about your favorite bands. You still didn't technically know what year it was, so you stuck to bands from the seventies just to be safe. Paul ended up showing you a few records, and you tried not to blush as he dragged you into one of the listening booths. He popped a couple of records on, before putting the headphones snuggly over your ears. You tried not to be embarrassed by the close proximity, and were grateful when Marko called that they were leaving. Even if it cut into the conversation you and Paul were having about the record. Afterwards, you stopped at a little booth selling various jackets, trinkets, jewelry, and even a few patches. You looked through them with Marko, taking the time to really get a close look at his jacket. He noticed you staring, and propped his elbows up on the clear counter. He sent you a grin, and you were flustered and looking away before he could even tease you. You saw that the other three seemed to be more interested in the bracelets, and that's when you noticed the ones decorating Dwayne's wrists. You had missed it in all your previous viewings, but you weren't surprised that you had. The costume designers had done so many little details for their wardrobe, and Dwayne noticed you looking. But, instead of teasing you, he passed you a similar looking bracelet as the five of you walked down the boardwalk. You gave him a confused look, and his lips quirked up just the slightest bit.

"Doesn't fit my wrist." He explained nonchalantly, and you watched as he strode closer to the platinum blonde leading the pack. You smiled to yourself, and tried your best to tie it onto your wrist yourself. Paul ended up helping you, his nimble fingers working quickly. He didn't ask where you got the bracelet, and instead dragged you towards the arcade David had been leading you to.  

You didn't realize it until you asked one of them what time it was, making sure not to reach for your phone in your back pocket no matter how much of a habit it was, but it seemed that the boys also had a plan. You had relaxed, no matter how much you had tried not to, after spending what you realized was hours with them. It was getting late, and, when you finally made it to the carousel, none of them seem surprised when you said you didn't see your friends. Not that they'd actually be there waiting for you. But, still, the realization that they'd been stalling, making sure you would end up with no one else to hang out with that night, made you remember. Horror movie. Killers. You bet that any second David would be suggesting to take you to-

"You know where Hudson's Bluff is? Overlooking the point?" And you looked over at him. This was it. Your panic suddenly spiked at the idea of going back to the cave with them. No matter how cool it would be. No matter how much you wanted to see it for yourself. This was where everything went to shit. If you went back to the cave with them, there'd be no crowd to prevent you from getting murdered. You'd be alone. With them. Before any of them could jibe you into coming with, you quickly said,

"I should call them- my friends. Y'know, to- to make sure they're not worried about me. I don't want them telling my parents I got kidnapped or something." You quickly suggested, and the boys swayed for a moment. The three others looked between you and David, and you knew that they were waiting for his word. After a moment, he gave you a nod. You supposed that calling off any potential alarms would be something he'd be all for. And, hopefully, you could actually reach your friends.

"There's a phone booth at the end of the boardwalk. You can call your parents too. Tell them not to wait up." He said with a small grin, and it surprised you. If you didn't know any better, you'd almost think David was flirting with you. The walk back to the bikes, and to the phone booth, was surreal. David had pulled you closer to the front, but he wasn't nearly as affectionate as the others. Still, just standing next to him made you feel like you were doing more than you should.

You had meant to ditch them, but, now, they were only a few feet away. Sitting on their bikes. You felt stupid for having missed it when you first arrived, but the place had been swarmed with people. And the phonebooth seemed to purposely be stuck in a small, dark corner. You gulped as you closed the glass door behind you, and you rustled around in your pockets for loose change. The only thing you had was a nickel and a couple of pennies, and you cursed yourself for not keeping more change in your purse. Not that you knew how much it would cost anyways. You looked back out at where the boys were waiting on their bikes, having noticed that the crowds had thinned out considerably compared to when you first arrived. You gulped and cracked open the door.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys marko #marko the lost boys #paul the lost boys #the lost boys paul #david the lost boys #the lost boys david #dwayne the lost boys #the lost boys dwayne

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

79. You’d Be Home Now by Kathleen Glasgow--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: Drug abuse, bullying, death & grieving, depression, toxic parenting.

This author's books are always so tough to read because of the topics they explore. It took me a while to finish this audiobook because it is a very emotionally heavy read. This particular one was heartbreaking because things seemed to get worse and worse for the MC and as a reader, I felt so helpless. The one thing that I think took away from this otherwise very impactful story was how the issue of the toxic parenting was handled. While I think the MC's father had some fantastic character growth, her mother's "growth" felt forced. I understand her fear and her reactions to some of the situations, but I think that particular point of "Go easy on your mom" is, to be completely frank, bullshit. I always see this kind of narrative as a get out of jail free card for some parents who are destructively controlling of their children and create toxic environments. [Potential spoiler] Even when the MC has reached the climax of her situation, it isn't her parents who help her come back from the black hole she's fallen into. Besides that, I found this to be an eye-opening and heartbreaking story of one girl's love for her brother and his battle with drug abuse, grief, guilt, and the incredible stress, bullying, and pressures he faces when he comes back in the beginning of the book. If you're going to read this book, be aware of the potential triggers, because there are many.

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80. A School Frozen in Time Vol. 2 by Naoshi Arakawa & Mizuki Tsujimura--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I'm still not the biggest fan of this artwork, the story is really, really compelling. I find that this series digs really well into the mindsets of the typical student tropes, like the nerd, the popular one, the sensitive student, etc. And in doing so, we get these sometimes heartbreaking backstories that add more life to the overall plot and bring up more questions for the overall mystery of who ended their life. Why are these students there? Who is keeping them there? I can't wait to find out. Also, nice cliffhanger!

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81. A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I listened to the audiobook of this one for a book club and I'm glad I gave it a shot. I wasn't the biggest fan of Tremblay's other novel, The Cabin at the End of the World, so I was a little worried about this one. Thankfully, I enjoyed this one a lot more. It was spooky, thought-provoking, and gross in a way that I encourage you to consider whether you actually want to eat whatever it was you were going to eat while reading the book. The audiobook narrator was great because she added a whole other level to the creepiness by acting out multiple voices. This book makes me feel a bit more hopefully for Tremblay's other novels! Also, that ending left me with some questions!

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82. Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I enjoyed this one, but it wasn't a favourite. This is definitely one of those books that has a lot of intriguing things happening and has some pretty great grey characters--I think this is perfectly shown with that conclusion (which I had to listen to twice just to make sure I captured what was being said there). Also, there was a pretty cool Stephen King easter egg that made my nerdy self giggle. I did enjoy this author's take on vampires, to the point where I wish there were more stories set in this world. There is so much potential and this was a pretty good foundation for more stories set in this world! I'd recommend this book to fans of vampires, morally grey characters, and dogs because there's an adorable and loyal pup.

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83. Biased by Jennifer L. Eberhardt--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this expecting one thing and got a whole other, more complex thing and I'm really happy that it was more than I thought it would be. In this book, there are personal stories experienced by the author and others she has interviewed that will make you either really upset or really angry. The level of influence bias has on the world is incredible. We know of some of the more obvious ones, but reading about tests done to truly test these theories is jarring. While reading this book, I kept thinking back to my own experiences--either at the hand of others' biases of who I am as a mixed Latina and what I represent, or seeing others exercise their biases against coworkers, friends, and strangers. It also made ME more aware of my own biases that I carry around and am always actively trying to recognize (especially after more companies like my own work introduced bias training into our yearly learning.) I think the first great step of effectively fighting bias is becoming aware of its existence, and it truly can live in any aspect of your social or private life. I'm finding, also, that reading more and more books like this one has made me want to talk about these topics more. I'm curious about the mental process of others and it sometimes feels like I'm looking at the world through a different lens. Eberhardt does such a great job of explaining her findings, incorporating experiences that we can either relate to or feel a certain emotion for, and introducing this world that may be new to many people. The power of bias is greater than some people think and it is incredibly damaging. I highly recommend this book and being an audiobook fan, I encourage you to listen to the audiobook (if you enjoy them). Eberhardt narrates it herself and the emotion she puts behind her writing is incredibly powerful!

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84. Hide & Seeker by Daka Hermon--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was interesting and a bit spooky. I'm intrigued by how terrifying some MG is starting to get. If I gave this book to a kid, they'd be afraid to play hide and seek again (or at least be wary of cheating LOL). There was a moment in this book, however, that touched on the wariness of black kids being approached by a police officer. I appreciated seeing that while these kids are living a crazy and scary adventure, they still have to face the real dangers of the society they inhabit--like them encountering their own and much more realistic fears. I say appreciated because this is something that a black child and even an adult reading this book can relate to in an otherwise fantastical novel. It showed me that even though the story is about something else, that everyday moment can still slip in there. The concept of this book was really intriguing, especially because of the lessons of friendship, family, grief, and understanding that were laced into the scary events. The monster and its abilities were creepy and I think this will make for an excellent October read! I'd recommend this for fans of MG horror, and for the child in your life that likes to be kept up at night both by a good story and by monsters.

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Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

#books #bookish #booklr #bookworm #bookaholic #bibliophile #book blog #book blogger #Features #on books #on reading #read #reader #reading #review #reviews #reviews of the week #my writing #my opinion #long text post #book listt #2022

[johns-prince]

Let's play the speculation game and say McLennon was real. Going with the common idea that Paul dumped John in India, wasn't the "let's all be friends, write together and go on double dates with our wives" angle Paul seemed to hope for completely delusional? Why would someone with John's issues stick around and celebrate Paul's happiness with someone else after being downgraded?

I have great respect for Paul's decision of not being John's nanny/handler for the rest of his life. But I've always been annoyed by his inability to let the man go for good. Paul, you've made your choice, my friend. Enough with the sad songs about not being called back or turning up on John's doorstep with a guitar when the he was spending time with his own family. People hate that but some things in the world really are black or white. You can't have it both ways.

Why speculate when we know it was and is real 

Alright so, let me try to unpack my thoughts cohesively get ya tinfoil hats on y’all;

If we go with the theory that during 1967, when Paul and John were practically living together and conjoined at the hip, taking LSD together and sharing those intense and intimate experiences that even Pau’s girlfriend Jane had become envious of— John had come to the realization of what he wanted, finally acknowledged it and came to accept it. 

So in India, John tried to confront Paul about their relationship and their “relationship,” and openly admit to Paul that he wanted more, that he was now willing to leave Cynthia and Julian for a life he truly wanted or desired, and that included Paul (but to what extent is what we debate I guess) 

And now that I’m thinking about it, we also know John was sort of beginning to spiral downward in 1968. It was obvious his marriage with Cynthia was at it’s end, and he didn’t want to work on it anymore. He was surrounding himself more with druggies, an unsavory crowd that Cynthia really didn’t approve of (Yoko was part of this crowd) and he was actively pulling away.  

I think John was realizing that, he just wasn’t happy. That, putting everything he had into becoming one of the most successful musicians in the world, to become bigger then Elvis Presley, didn’t make him happy. It didn’t fix what needed fixing in him, what needed addressing. He was still drowning despite it all. 

So you’ve got the trip to India, the boys going in hopes that perhaps the Maharishi Mahesh Yog and his spiritual teachings would somehow give a new perspective on things, produce the answer that would save the band (save John and Paul) from what appeared to be an inevitable downfall. But as we know, that isn’t what was needed. 

John and Paul needed to talk. The lack of consistent communication between them for years and years, and the fact John needed a therapist, he needed rehab. So did Paul, during the White Album era. 

I don’t believe Paul dumped John, but I do think John could have easily misconstrued Paul taking a step back and not willing to just go blindly, impulsively jumping off a theoretical cliff with him, as being rejected. We know Paul had to sort of take the position of ‘think before you leap’, to be more conscious of the actions and decisions he and the others decide to take, and how it would effect them as individuals, and especially them as a band (because frankly the others wouldn’t) and we know that John could be incredibly impulsive, only thought of the consequences after the fact. That, and who’s to say such a proposition and confrontation from John hadn’t scared Paul? Got him feeling those insecurities of his own crawling up. 

Paul wanted a traditional family, he wanted to have a wife and children. But Paul also wanted John, he wanted and loved Lennon-McCartney, and he didn’t think (or he’d hoped) him getting married and having a family would really change anything between them (because John got married and had a kid and they were still able to do go and do whatever they wanted together, so what was the difference—) that he could still keep what he had with John, that they could still stay together after The Beatles split. Get around to writing that musical, and grow old together still writing and making music, still creating together.

How I see it, is that Paul wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

Paul, being fine with keeping the status quo between them, it was safe and enough (right?), but John vehemently wasn’t fine with it anymore, and it wasn’t enough for him. Nothing was enough for him, as we know; John was a very all-or-nothing individual, and expected complete devotion and love from someone, because receiving less felt like rejection and abandonment was only around the corner. This way of feeling and thinking for John was only exasperated by the drugs, his alcoholism, and his spiraling mental health. 

Paul could have tried compromising with John, and John still could have taken that as a complete rejection of his feelings and what he wanted, and what he had hoped and thought Paul also wanted. 

I believe Paul probably didn’t even know himself what he had done wrong, or that he did anything wrong. I don’t think Paul believed he was downgrading John to anything either.

If only they had talked.

Then they returned from India, and the rest as we know it...

“To me, a summary is something like: “gifted, disturbed boy with tremendous amount of drive to outrun a bad childhood discovers love for music and creative soulmate(s) and gives everything he has to become the most famous musician in the world, hoping it will make him happy. He does, but it doesn’t, and people who don’t have his best interests separate him from his friends, his creation and creative spark, and ultimately himself. He’s too screwed up by addiction, mental illness, and unaddressed traumas to change things, so he retreats further into addiction and mental illness, wishing he could somehow regain his lost spark. He makes a few halfway steps toward doing so, but they’re not enough, and ultimately he is killed in front of his apartment building where, 24 hours later, his wife installs the man she had been sleeping with behind his back.”"

— Michael Bleicher, The Artist as a Dissipated Man: Fred Seaman’s “The Last Days of John Lennon.”

Right, so both John and Paul made their choices in life. Some choices and decisions that we as fans and outside observers might never be able to understand, or agree with.

But who’s to say Paul (and John), couldn’t, didn’t, or don’t regret those choices and decisions? 

I get what you’re saying, I understand. Why can’t Paul move on? He made his choices, why is it 40, 50 years later, that Paul can’t just let John go? Let sleeping dogs lie, all that.

Because Paul loved John, still loves John, to this day. 

Because, clearly Paul has some regrets. He regrets how things were handled during the Divorce. He regrets not hugging John enough. He regrets not telling John, when he had the chance and time, that he loved him (and without the help of alcohol) When you love someone so deeply, and suddenly, without warning, they’re taken from you and the world, you regret a lot, and you miss what could have been, the ‘What if’s.’ 

Paul said that what he and John were, were soulmates. I don’t know how it feels to lose a soulmate. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to know how it feels to get the opportunity to love and be around them. 

How awful do you think it is to meet your soulmate, but you cannot freely love them? Can’t just, be, with them? Not in just one way, bestmates, legendary partners, but, as everything that the word Soulmate brings along and includes with it? 

That God decided to have them be of the same sex, during a time where it was illegal to love and be with someone of the same sex, and could even be a potential death sentence to be assumed or thought of as a ‘queer.’ 

So, you take whatever you can with them. 

Then that isn’t enough. One grows restless, desperate for more. It can’t happen, not realistically, not without consequences of varying degrees. 

Strain, miscommunication to none. They communicate through a musical, artistic language which just isn’t enough. Drugs, alcohol, mental illness and emotional turmoil, it’s all too much. It breaks. Soulmates are still flawed human beings. 

You have people who work to purposefully pin them against each other. Parasites and piggybackers. 

A nasty divorce and breakup between two lovers that never were.

And then, after ten years, it’s happening. You two are talking again, things are tense and awkward still sometimes, but something’s changed. You’ve planned on reuniting, couldn’t do it this year, because the studio you wanted was booked. So you plan for after the New Year. 

Then, your soulmate is killed. Just, taken away from you, like nothing. Violently and suddenly. And all the possibilities... The time... Gone. Ripped away from both of you.

I can’t blame Paul for not letting go. I can’t say I’d ever be able to understand the sort of pain and heartbreak he experienced. He still goes through it! It’s still there. He’s just learned how to manage it a bit better. 

I’d say it’s more pathetic then it is annoying— and I don’t mean it in a way to insult Paul. I really don’t. Because John was just as pathetic when it came to his obvious obsession, desire, and love for Paul, too. 

Love, that kind of soul-deep love, it can make you pathetic and hopeless. And it’s not something you can just... let go for good. 

Wanting, or expecting Paul to let go of John for good... Firstly would be impossible, and secondly, how do you let go of a soulmate? John is a part of Paul, whether some like it or not. Can’t really have one without the other. 

Can’t have Lennon without McCartney, and vice-or-versa. Forever intertwined, are they.

#questionsquestionsquestions #mclennon #beatles discussion/discourse #I think all I did was ramble again I'm sorry #this isn't even that good

[eagle-raider]

Directors are really riding the wave of lesbian Gothic drama, I see. Case in point with what is shaping up to be a crossing between Blue is the Warmest Color for the gracious nudity shots and The Handmaiden for the atmospheric ambience, but sadly, it holds none of its clever plot weaving and beautiful photography.

GAY NUNS ARE GAY, also known as Benedetta

Under the cut, because I’m ranting.

It’s been selected for the official competition (not exactly the best lineup of movies, Cannes’s most memorable films, save for a few exceptions, are usually found in the parallel competition: Un Certain Regard) and it’s coming out in July. 

Like three out of four lesbian movies that made it to the official competition of Cannes’s Film Festival in the past 8 years (Blue is the Warmest Color, Carol and the Handmaiden), this one is based on a book written by a woman: Immodest Acts: The Life of a Lesbian Nun in Renaissance Italy (oof) by Judith C. Brown. 

It tells the real life of Benedetta Carlini, an Italian woman who grew up in a convent and became an Abbess after she started having visions of religious (and sexual) nature. It is the earliest documented trace of female homosexuality in the Western world. 

Now, I saw a trailer. I usually avoid them like that plague when they’re more than two minutes long because then, they give everything away. This one was one minute fifty seconds, which entered within my self-imposed limit.

I shouldn’t have done that, because now I feel that I have seen everything: Virginie Efira having gay panic, lots of boob shots and an ‘o’ face under the candlelight. Oh, and there’s something nebulous about a prophecy? I think? I didn’t quite get it with since the editing was intent on shoving boobs and mysterious shots of naked women behind a see-through veil. Oh, and awesome Charlotte Rampling speaking French with her cute accent. 

Now, this could be a very interesting movie, it has the potential and the material to be. But when a director feels the need to have a falsely mysterious trailer that is so pretentious that it’s borderline cringe, when a director has so little faith in the quality of his work that he feels the need to grab your attention with the cheapest hook ever (female pleasure seen on camera, oh so very scandalous! Much subversive!) for his trailer to make an impression on you... yeah no. 

And you guys, I’m French. I’m not bothered by nudity, I’m that weirdo who went and watched Blue is the Warmest Color at the cinema with a bunch of (girl) friends. Yes, we sat through those seven minutes when other people were storming out. I have mixed feelings about that movie as well, but that’s for another time and a different matter altogether. I will say that though: it did capture the all-consuming and destructive passion of what first love (usually) is. Adèle Exarchopoulos’s performance is genuine, raw and painfully realistic from the beginning to the end. She deserved every accolade and even more. 

Nudity and sex in cinema don’t bother me. Violence and abuse do because it’s so engrained in mainstream media now, that nobody even bats an eyelid anymore, especially when it’s directed towards women. We’ve become so desensitized to it and it’s so very dangerous.

But this trailer? I’m just wondering... why? Why all of this? Why so many shallow sequences? We got it, she’s horny and they’re going to have steamy crazy sex in *gasp* a convent. Great. The director, Paul Verheoven, could have conveyed that in so many - and more impactful ways... You know what Park Chan-wook did to show all of this without actually showing any of it in the Handmaiden’s trailer?

He had the actress breathe at the beginning of the trailer. He used the music, the beat of percussion and electronic instruments go crescendo along his editing, like an orgasm. He had close-up shots on their ankles and the curve of their shoulders, and their hands. Hell, the music he used is called Red Sex (by Vessel). Now that’s suggestive, that’s explicit, that’s subversive.

It was so freaking well-executed that the MPAA (the prudes of America) gave it a green rating. A Park Chan-wook movie trailer. The same guy who made Old Boy. There’s only one trailer for the movie, and it’s this one. Foreign movies usually have at least two: the international trailer (usually made for the USA market) and one for the country of origin. This one doesn’t, because it doesn’t need to.

It’s everything that Benedetta’s trailer isn’t. Benedetta’s trailer is a freaking bulldozer that does absolutely nothing, a wet firecracker that tries too hard to be edgy. Why hide your movie under boobs and painfully fake moans?

Damn, I wanted to look forward to it. I so wanted to, but it feels like the director is hoping the nude shots and simulated scissoring will distract the jury long enough for them to give him a prize. Heh.

#take the camera away from Paul Verheoven's skeletic hands #he doesn't understand women #Elle was a fucking disgrace #I wanted to like this movie #I've low-key been crushing on Virginie Efira for more than a decade #so I was like *score she plays a nun who kisses girls YAAAS* #but this trailer left me ._. #Benedetta #benedetta carlini #movie rants #I'm sorry guys #I really really like cinema okay #i nerd a lot #lesbian movie