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oddinary4bts · 1 year

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The Forgotten Spaces | ch 6 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: mentions of sex/hot tub scene. hickey. angst (oops), might be a curse somewhere in there?

☆word count: 5.8k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: I am very sorry for all the angst that is to follow. Please don't hate me and please enjoy reading still haha! Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Sunday, July 8th

Waking up next to Jungkook feels weird. You reckon it might be because you haven’t slept a lot, and people are already moving around the cottage. You’ve refused to open your eyes so far, just because you’ve heard Jiho and Hobi whispering about you and Jungkook and you feel too much of a coward to admit you probably fucked things up with him already.

You think Jiho has taken a picture. Knowing her, she definitely has, and you wish you could just disappear for a time. You eventually force yourself to get up though, before Jungkook who is still dead asleep when you move to the kitchen. You suffer through Jiho’s questioning, but she quickly notices that you’re shut off, lost in thought and maybe even dabbling in a little regret too.

From there she shuts down everyone that asks questions, and by the time Jungkook gets up, everyone is just pretending they haven’t noticed that something definitely happened between the two of you.

Jungkook doesn’t really look at you. He eats breakfast chatting with Taehyung and Jin, avoiding you like the plague. You can tell you’ve hurt him, but you don’t know how to fix it. After all, you’ve never really been acquainted with feelings yourself. Especially not after your parents’ divorce.

The day feels heavy. It’s still warm outside, far too much, and a veil of dark clouds is looming over the horizon by the time you have to leave the cottage. Your mood imitates the weather, and you find yourself brooding more than you usually do.

You haven’t been able to talk to Jungkook yet. Mostly because he’s been avoiding you, yes. But also because you don’t know what to tell him.

“Hey, I’m shit at relationships and feelings, yesterday felt too real” sounds like too much of a confession. Even though it is the truth, you’re a coward, through and through.

Jiho’s been trying to get your mind off things. Texting you random stupid things, sending you memes as Hobi drives the four of you home. Heather is riding with Chaeyeon, Lance and Bridget this time around, so there’s a space between you and Jungkook. This time, when he falls asleep, he falls asleep with his head resting against the window, and not on your shoulder.

It starts raining halfway home, and Hobi drives slower, windshield wiper going on full blast. Jiho sends you yet another meme – something absurd you can’t bring yourself to find funny. It earns you a frown from your best friend, and a second later your phone vibrates in your hand.

[1:23 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re supposed to laugh☹️ [1:23 pm] You: i want to talk to Jungkook but idk what to tell him🫠 [1:25 pm] Jiho❣️: what really happened yesterday? i wanna help but it’s hard if idk [1:26 pm] You: we made out in the hot tub then fucked when we were supposed to sleep🤡 [1:26 pm] Jiho❣️: bruh i wish i had a make-out session in the hot tub [1:27 pm] You: 🙄🙄 [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: sorry [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: pretty sure more than just fucking happened considering both of you are upset [1:30 pm] You: i told him we shouldn’t have fucked after and he got upset [1:31 pm] Jiho❣️: bitch he’s into u ofc he’ll be upset [1:31 pm] You: u’re not helping [1:32 pm] Jiho❣️: are u into him?

You don’t know the answer. You ask yourself that question for the rest of the day, and you reckon you really don’t know. A lot changed between you and Jungkook over the weekend, but it’s hard to ignore the fact you have never really liked him. Because he was a dick and a bully to you for years.

It’s not something you think you can just forget because you’ve had sex with him once. And you don’t even know if you’d be interested in a relationship with him anyway. You’ve never been in a relationship before at all, and the thought of it terrifies you.

The thought of Jungkook being upset with you terrifies you in equal measures, but you refuse to admit it to yourself. Maybe because you’re trying to protect yourself. It’s hard to tell. You feel like you won’t be able to go through your feelings by yourself – they’re overwhelming, all of them.

Thinking about Jungkook is overwhelming. Thinking about dancing under the stars, about his scar, about the way he held onto you after he finished. Everything is overwhelming, and it makes you anxious. Jumpy, even, as you’re sitting in your room in your mother’s empty house later at night.

You’re halfway through a Studio Ghibli movie that was supposed to help you relax when you decide to text your therapist to schedule an appointment this week. It feels like the right thing to do – you know Mary has always been able to help you sort through your thoughts, even though you haven’t seen her in months.

You don’t expect her to reply tonight considering it’s late in the evening, but you linger on your messaging app. You can’t resist but scroll down a little, down to where Jungkook’s name lies on the screen. You click on the conversation, rereading the last messages he sent you from when he was drunk a little over a week ago. It makes your heart squeeze in your chest a little, and you scroll all the way up to the first time he texted you in April. You haven’t talked much at all, so it’s not like there’s a lot, but you can’t help yourself. You reread everything, entirely ignoring the movie playing on your laptop.

When you’re done reading, you find yourself typing a text even though you don’t know what to say. It seems your fingers know, because a moment later you find yourself staring at a fully formed sentence. It looks as if it’s taunting you, and you reread it so many times the words start to lose their meaning.

[9:47 pm] You: hey, i really enjoyed the weekend with u and i’m genuinely really sorry about yesterday…

It takes you all the courage your body can conjure up to press send. You immediately turn off your phone to focus on your laptop and on the movie, though it doesn’t really work at all. The anxiety the message has brought up in you makes the story of Totoro way too hard to follow, and you’re merely watching the scenes, barely even blinking.

When the movie ends, you get ready for bed. You haven’t dared check your phone yet, but a little bit of anticipation has been steadily building inside of you. Because you hope he’ll answer. You hope you won’t have to explain why you are the way that you are for things to go back to normal with him. Maybe because offering him your vulnerability feels like too much of a commitment for someone that doesn’t do commitments at all.

You know you’ll hate yourself at your internship the next day, but you can’t really sleep after you’ve settled under the comforter in your bed. It’s way past midnight when you finally gather the courage to look at your phone, teeth worrying at your bottom lip.

Your empty notification screen stares back at you, as if to say ‘you really thought that would change anything?’

You sigh, putting your phone away on your night table before turning on your side, grabbing a pillow to hold. It’s still raining outside, and your brain focuses on the splattering of rain on the panes of the window. You think maybe Jungkook went to bed early, considering you didn’t get a lot of sleep in the last two days. Maybe he’s asleep and will reply tomorrow…

You cling onto that hope as the sound of the rain finally lulls you to a troubled sleep.

Tuesday, July 10th

Jungkook has been in a shit mood. He knows why, and it’s strange to think that it’s not his leg for once. What makes it worse is that everyone around him knows too, thanks to the hickey on his neck.

And it’s only worse when you don’t show up to dance practice. Jiho mentions something about you being stuck at your internship, but Jungkook doesn’t ask. He feels like maybe he could text you to make sure you’re okay. His heart wants him to do it, but his mind is stronger.

And his mind has been winning the war against his heart so far. He won’t cave in now. But he’s still in a shit mood when he gets home after practice. It feels even worse when he sees Taehyung and Jo cuddled up on the couch, and Jimin sprawled up on the floor.

Jimin’s texting away on his phone, and Taehyung meets Jungkook’s gaze where he stopped by the door.

“Practice is already done?” Taehyung asks.

It brings Jimin and Jo’s attention to Jungkook. He just stands there for a time, not knowing what to say.

Not wanting to admit he wrapped dance practice earlier because he was pissed that you weren’t there.

“Yeah,” Jungkook lets out flatly. He finally starts moving again, aiming straight to the kitchen.

He misses the way Jo and Taehyung exchange a concerned look when he passes in front of them, or maybe he just ignores it. He’s been ignoring Jo since the weekend, because it feels like too much pressure to admit that her plan worked and failed in the same night.

Yes, he got to sleep with you, but he’d take it back if he could. Just so it wouldn’t lead to where you’re standing now. Because he’s never replied to your text on Sunday night. Maybe because it was too early, and seeing it just pissed him off more.

Or maybe he’s just trying to preserve himself because he’s realized being with you might be a lot more complicated than previously thought.

He’s pouring cereal in a bowl when he receives a text. He fears that he’s conjured you up for a few seconds, but then he reads the name at the head of the notification. Laura. He furrows his brows, reading her text a few times over to make sure he’s read well. On his fifth reading he reckons the words won’t change even if he keeps glaring at them.

And Laura doesn’t deserve him being upset with her too. Actually, he realizes she might be just what he needs – a distraction, perhaps. Because all he wants is to forget how it felt to be with you last Saturday. And it’s not even about the sex. No, the part that’s been sticking with him is the moment between the hot tub and the sex. When he laid his heart on the table for you.

Had he known you were going to step on it a little under an hour later, Jungkook knows he would have never asked you to dance. It was a stupid request, one that made everything too real.

He can’t really blame you for getting scared. Because he knows that’s what it is. You got scared when he told you you should have slept together before, and he’s been embarrassed since then. Because he said the words in the heat of the action, and even though he meant them – means them – he’d rather not have told you.

Because now when he thinks of you he’s embarrassed, upset, and of course he’s pissed. He’s been in a shit mood after all.

He sighs, pushing his hair back before moving to the fridge to grab the milk. He pours some in the bowl, before grabbing a spoon in the drawer and making his way to the table, where he sits to eat the cereals. He’s halfway through his bowl when he finally decides to open his phone and reply to Laura.

[9:01 pm] Laura: Hey, I gotta admit… I’d like to see you sometime this week? If you’re up for it ofc [9:08 pm] Jungkook: yes ofc! i’m free tmrw evening if u want😌

He doesn’t even know if he actually wants to see her. It makes him think of when he helped her with her camera last week. Laura is sweet. Cute and shy. She’s his type, he can’t deny it. But she’s nice, and he doesn’t think she deserves him using her as a distraction.

He reckons he’s a mess. You’ve been messing with his head far too much, and he doesn’t like that you have that power over him. He doesn’t want anyone to have that power over him.

Yet it’s relieving that for once his mind isn’t clouded with dark thoughts related to the accident. Because he can’t really think about the accident when you’re there whenever he closes his eyes. When he can almost feel your warmth lingering under his fingers, along his body. When he thinks he can still smell your shampoo, and feel your soft skin.

The way that he feels disgusts him. It makes him scoff, and he’s frowning as he finishes eating his cereals. The frown only relaxes when Laura texts him again.

[9:12 pm] Laura: I’m available too! There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try? Is that something you’d like to do?

The way that she texts sounds formal. It makes him laugh, and he finds himself replying,

[9:13 pm] Jungkook: wait, so then it’s a date date uh? [9:16 pm] Laura: Maybe?☺️ [9:17 pm] Jungkook: is 7 o’clock good for u?

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He doesn’t usually do real dates, preferring hanging out at the girl’s place or inviting her over for one of the many parties they usually host. But he needs the distraction, right?

And when he’s texting Laura, he realizes he’s not thinking about you as much. It’s relieving after the last few days, and really, maybe he should just give her a chance.

Wednesday, July 11th

Your therapist works in a building that’s surprisingly not too far from your internship. You were able to schedule an appointment for tonight, which is a relief.

You’ve been thinking about this weekend so much you haven’t been able to focus at the internship. So much so that you were stuck at the office later yesterday. You didn’t mind having to skip the dance practice though – you were glad you didn’t have to see Jungkook.

But now, it’s time for you to sort out your thoughts about the whole situation. As much as pretending that everything is fine can be fun, you also hate the way your mind wanders every night. Especially considering Jungkook never replied to your text last Sunday.

You feel like he’s slipping through your fingers. And maybe he is, and maybe all of this will be for nothing.

Well, not necessarily nothing, since it’s always good to get a grip of yourself.

You sigh, and you walk into the building right before a rain shower starts. You’re relieved you were able to avoid getting wet, and you walk to the front desk to give your name to the lady. She puts you in the computer and then tells you to sit in the waiting room. You thank her, and you’ve barely had time to sit when Mary comes to get you.

Mary’s office hasn’t changed one bit since the last time you sought her help in February. You sit on the same couch, and she offers you a glass of water as she greets you. And then she asks what brings you there.

At that you still. You freeze, like a deer in headlights, because for a moment you’re terrified of having to say the words aloud. Terrified to admit you felt something last Saturday, and you think you’ve already screwed it all up. She listens to you intently, and you watch her scribble on her pad as you do so. You’re tempted to read what she’s written; you’ve always wondered what it is that therapists write on that notebook of theirs.

Is she piecing out your soul the way that you feel like she is?

You tell her everything. You tell her about how Jungkook came back into your life, differently this time. You tell her about the dance practices, and about your internship too. You tell her about last weekend, and you reveal every little dirty thought your brain dared to think. Mary doesn’t judge, and when you’re done, the only thing she says is, “You’re really good at psycho-analyzing yourself”.

You reckon she’s right. Because you know exactly why you acted the way that you did – with the example your parents gave you of love growing up, it’s hard to actually love. It’s even harder to deconstruct it, to deconstruct the fear until you can build yourself back into someone that can love.

It’s not that you think you can’t. You love Jiho, Jisung and their family plenty. But it’s different when it’s love with a big L. It’s always been, and you’ve never once really wanted to change it.

But now you do. You’ve been using your fears to protect yourself from others for far too long.

Mary makes a plan with you. Nothing too big, but she does suggest scheduling another appointment next week. Because you knowing what you need to do is half of the work, yes, but you still need to put it into practice. You agree with her, and you leave her office feeling lighter than you’ve felt in days.

The plan is for you to ask Jungkook if you can talk. You have the option to wait until tomorrow at dance practice, or to text him tonight, just so he knows in advance that you want to talk to him. Mary favoured the latter, saying that it’d give him time to prepare if he has things to tell you too.

You have no idea if he does, but the moment on Saturday felt heavy. You doubt there’s been nothing on his mind since then… because you were there. You know how it felt like, under the stars and after that. And the whole weekend, if you’re honest to yourself. You doubt he was immune to it.

You decide to wait a little before you text him. Just to make sure you really are going to do this. Because it feels like you’re standing at the top of a cliff, and you’ve never been a cliff diver. No, you’re far too afraid of heights. But the fact that you haven’t been able to get Jungkook off your mind tells you enough: you’d jump off the highest cliff for him.

Because if you don’t risk it, what is there to win?

So it’s later that night, when you’re rewatching your favourite anime, that you find yourself pausing the show. You go to your messaging app, and heart beating out of your chest you type a message. Something simple, something straight to the point. Because the fact he ignored your last message says enough: Jungkook won’t cave in for apologies, especially not over text.

You settle on,

[9:31 pm] You: hey jk! can we talk tmrw after practice?😌

You press send before you can convince yourself that this is not a good idea, and anxiety blooms in every inch of you. It’s a foreign feeling: you’ve never been so anxious when it came to someone else before in your life.

Watching your favourite anime after that has never been so hard.

Thursday, July 12th

You don’t want to go to practice. Everything feels like it’s going too fast and too slow at the same time: waiting for Jungkook to reply is excruciatingly long, and having to head to the dance studio is coming far too quickly.

Jungkook hasn’t replied. You texted Mary about it – she said to see in person if Jungkook wants to talk, but to also respect it if he doesn’t. It makes you far less hopeful than you were when you got out of her office yesterday, but you know she is right.

If this is his way of setting a boundary, you will have to respect. No matter how much it upsets you.

So it’s in an anxious state of mind that you make your way to the studio. You run into Jiho on the way, and you’re worrying at your bottom lip when she asks, “What’s wrong?”

Your steps falter a little, and you throw her a side glance. “Uh?”

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks.

She knows that you used to see a therapist. But telling her that you saw Mary again about Jungkook feels like too big of a confession. It gives him too much power, and you’re not sure you’re ready for that. But you can tell some parts of the truth, can you?

“I’m going to try and talk to Jungkook tonight.”

Jiho remains suspiciously silent for a time. “Are you sure you want to talk to him?”

“I guess,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “I just feel bad about this weekend.” Jiho offers you a sad smile, as your eyes fall to the concrete in front of you. “It’s just like, I don’t know, I liked where last weekend was going and I don’t want it to go back to the way things were before.” You pause, already feeling a little lighter now that you’ve started talking to your best friend. “Like I know I got scared and all, but he’s actually pretty decent?”

Now, Jiho’s smile has turned knowing, and she nudges you with her elbow. “I think I saw that coming from miles away but I didn’t want you to kill me.”

“Uh?” you let out, feeling a little confused.

“Everyone always thought you two were into each other,” she admits, and she laughs loudly when you push her. “Exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” she says when her laughter subsides as you offer her a fake glare, lips jutting out in a small pout.

“I mean, I don’t even know if that’s where things are going,” you say. Your fear returns, and you’re back to nibbling on your lower lip. “Like, maybe I just fucked up too bad?”

“Did you talk since then?” Jiho asks.

You refuse to look at her when you reply. “No. He ignored my texts.”

From the corner of your eyes you see Jiho wince. Because she knows just as well as you what it probably means, and you don’t want to hear her say it.

“What did you tell him?”

You shrug your shoulders, trying to act as indifferent as possible. “Sunday I said that I was sorry, and I asked him if we could talk after dance practice yesterday.”

“And he said nothing?”

It’s rhetorical, so you remain silent. You’re reaching the bridge, and you know the conversation will soon come to an obligated end anyway.

“Babe…” Jiho lets out carefully. “Maybe you shouldn’t talk to him.”

It makes you scoff. “I’ll be chill, don’t worry.”

“I’m not saying you won’t be,” Jiho says. She grabs your arm to make you stop. “Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk.”

You free your arm from her grip, though she was already letting you go. “I’ll ask. We’ll see. I just want to clear the air.”

Jiho holds your defiant gaze for a while, before nodding once. “Alright. Sounds good. You let me know what he says.” She pauses for a few seconds, before adding, “And we’re still on for Thirsty Thursdays after that.”

Of course you are, and of course you’ll tell her. She’s your best friend after all, and you don’t remember a time when you really hid anything from her.

It doesn’t stop your heart from aching in your chest as you near the studio.

*****

Dance practice feels weird. You can’t help your eyes from diverting to Jungkook where he’s standing, next to the mirrors. He’s good at pretending he doesn’t feel your gaze on him, yet more than once you catch him already looking.

He looks good. He’s in paler clothes than his usual today – light blue jeans with an oversized white t-shirt – and his hair is ruffled by the way he keeps running his hands through it. He looks like he doesn’t care, almost. Because you can tell he’s anxious about something whenever you catch him pulling at his piercing, eyebrows slightly furrowed over his eyes.

You don’t know when you started being able to read him so well, but you surely can now.

He calls dance practice off earlier than his usual, and he still hasn’t really looked at you. You’re pretty sure everyone has noticed by now, especially considering the fact Jiho hasn’t really been subtle about it. She’s glaring at Jungkook most of the time, and he just shrugs his shoulders to her.

It’s weird. Something is off, but if you’re going to do this, you’ll do it, right?

It’s in that anxious state of mind that you approach him as everyone filters out. His hands are buried in his pockets and he’s leaning against the mirror. It’s like he’s waiting for you, and you figure maybe he did read your message after all.

The first few seconds of standing in front of him are far more awkward than anything you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. You don’t know what to say, don’t know where to start, and Jungkook’s head is hanging too low for you to be able to catch his gaze without invading his personal space. So you stay rooted in your spot, and you wait for him to look at you. It takes a while, but he eventually looks up.

You’re taken aback by the bitter annoyance his features hold. “What?”

You’ve written in your notes app what you wanted to say. You’ve even practiced it, but now you don’t remember a single word.

His eyes are sad. It’s the only thing that feels different on his features. The rest is all annoyed: his eyebrows are furrowed, the corners of his lips are pointing downwards. His shoulders are low, defeated, and he seems to realize it because he straightens and folds his arms on his chest.

“Uh,” you choke out against the anxiety that’s building up inside of you. “I just…”

“If you want to apologize again, I received your message last Sunday.”

You brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, before folding your arms on your chest too. “Why did you ignore me?”

He shrugs, shaking his head a little as he looks away. “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Jungkook, can you please not? We’re adults.”

“Yeah, and I’m choosing to not be talking with you. I’m sure you can respect that?”

You can. You definitely can. But at the same time you can’t. Not when he says it like that, like it’s some sort of an insult.

“Why are you overreacting like that?”

“Because I’m fucking embarrassed about last weekend!” he bursts. “I wish it never happened.”

It hurts. It stings and burns, and you hold your arms tighter against you. “You’re embarrassed? Is that why you said you wished we did it earlier?”

His gaze turns vicious, like he’s a viper waiting to strike. “See, that’s exactly why I do not want to talk to you. I don’t think we can be friends either. We’ve never been friends, like you oh so kindly reminded me, and that won’t change.”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to relax, because this is not where you want this conversation to be going. “Listen,” you say after a few seconds of silence, “I really don’t want to be fighting with you. I just want to clear the air.”

“The air is cleared,” he says as you open your eyes to meet his fiery gaze again. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

You’re struck then. You feel like you either have the choice to confess or to stick to your anger. And you try to confess, you really do. It’s not like with Jiho – Jungkook was part of the moment Saturday, he was there with you under the stars. So it shouldn’t be too hard to tell him, to say you got scared.

You open your mouth to say the words, and shut it immediately as he scoffs.

“See, I don’t even think we should be speaking at all,” he says. There’s a fraction of a second when you’re convinced you can read pain in his gaze before he continues, “I’m actually seeing Laura, and I don’t want to fuck that up.”

Every word you’ve ever known vanishes from your mind. You just stand there for a moment, mouth hanging open, ears ringing as you look at him. You feel like you’re falling, or maybe you’re getting crushed. It’s hard to tell. It’s equally as hard to breathe, and your lungs burn as oxygen fills them.

“What?”

“I went on a date with Laura and I actually like the girl, I don’t want to fuck things up by talking to you,” he says, slowly, as if he needs to hammer every word into your head.

Laura? The girl from his class?

“Isn’t that the girl you told me you don’t care about?”

Your voice is somehow flat. Empty of the emotions it held just a few seconds ago.

“I went on a date with her and I like her,” he repeats as if you’re stupid and didn’t understand the first time around. As if your heart is not breaking in your chest, infinitely so.

You didn’t know how big your heart is until this moment, when every beat just breaks a little more, and all you can think to do is hold yourself tighter. As if it’ll stop the breaking.

“When?”

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, and his eyes fall shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. You really do feel stupid then, stupid and foolish and everything in between. Like you’re a five-years-old that keeps messing her right from her left.

“I… how the fuck did you go on a date with her already, it’s been four days?”

“A lot can change in four days, Y/n,” he drawls.

You think your nails might be digging in your palms from how hard you’re clenching your fists. “Wow.”

The studio falls silent. It’s heavy, and maybe the silence is what’s been crushing you. Because you were expecting it – the moment you and Jungkook wouldn’t have anything else to tell each other. Because for everything you were willing to confess, now there’s just an empty spot inside of you.

You hold his gaze. He doesn’t look all that infuriated anymore. Defeated, yes, and maybe a little deflated. He looks like he didn’t expect the conversation to go there.

But you were right. Turns out you were right and you are too late. You can’t help but hate him for it.

“You don’t waste your time, do you?” you ask, and you scoff bitterly. “You fuck one girl and then another in just a few days. Suits you well.”

He rolls his eyes. “As I said, I wish we didn’t sleep together. If I could take last weekend back I would.” He shrugs then, shaking his head a little. “I’m sure you understand.”

You purse your lips, trying to keep them from trembling as you feel a lump form in your throat. “I can’t believe you’re already fucking some other girl.”

“Okay, Y/n, as if that’s going to change anything.”

You nod, and you find yourself fleeing his gaze. Because you don’t want him to see how you’re breaking inside. How every piece of you turns inside out, until you’re bleeding out standing there in front of him.

“Just…”

You think about the stars. You think about the way he led you in that dance, the way his eyes shone as he looked at you.

Jungkook is cataclysmic. He really is. And cataclysms are rarely good, are they? They can create, yes, the way the universe was once created, but they destroy. They destroy and destroy until nothing remains, until you just feel like you’re drowning and burning all at once.

“Save your breath,” he says. You think his gaze is shining again, and you don’t think it’s shining for the same reason that it was under the stars. “And I mean that in the most respectful way.”

“Right. As if that would ever sound respectful.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m done here.”

It occurs to you that you’re about to watch someone you care about walk out of your life again. You want to reach out and hold him, to tell him how you feel, to say how everything has started to hurt, but you can’t. You can just look at him, hold his gaze until he makes the decision to go.

He’s gone before you’ve truly assimilated just how bad everything went. Just how far south things went, and how fiercely everything burns. And you stand there for a long time, holding yourself, waiting for the heartbreak to stop. But the thing with heartbreak is that it never fully stops, does it? You just learn to deal with it better.

It’s weird. You never thought you could be cold and burning at the same time. But if this is hell, then hell has frozen over because you’re shivering, just holding yourself.

You feel like you’re sixteen again, like you watched your dad walk out of your life again. Maybe because Jungkook really was the cataclysm to you, and now you’re stuck with the aftermath.

But you don’t cry. No, you hold the tears in. Force them to dry without having rolled on your cheeks, convince them that you don’t care. It’s something you’re good at. Pretending. Because maybe you’ve been pretending you hate Jungkook for a lot longer than you thought. Maybe that’s the reason why it hurts so bad.

But you won’t cry, no. You won’t cry for Jeon Jungkook.

You get home later that night, after having walked through a daze for the whole evening. You’re drunk, and you’re still aching from the inside out. Your phone is in your hand, and you’ve been on Jungkook’s conversation for so long without blinking that your eyes have fully gone dry.

You watch the text you’ve just sent, the only proof that you ever cared about Jungkook.

[2:31 am] You: i reall y wish things ddn’t go so bad

It takes you three days to realize it never delivered.

Friday, July 20th

It takes Jungkook a little under two weeks to officialise things with Laura. It’s moving quickly, he’s aware of it, but he’s been trying to ignore the way he saw your heart break in your eyes. It seems the best way to do it is to watch feelings swell in someone else’s gaze, and so he asks Laura to be his girlfriend after their third date.

She says yes, beaming like she’s the sun personified.

Still, when Jungkook closes his eyes at night, all he sees is your heart breaking in your eyes.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. my bad. I really went far with this angst uh? What do we think? What's going to happen next?

Taglist (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you):

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usertimothee · 1 year

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Hey, I haven’t read Little Women or any of the books related, the only adaptation I have seen is Greta Gerwig’s and I’ve recently rewatched it. And I have some thoughts are mostly ramblings and need to express to someone so I hope you don’t mind me popping in here. I don’t really know where people got that Jo was In love with Laurie? She loved him as a friend but romantically? I never got that really. And how I took that scene with Jo and Marmee was Jo admitting she was lonely and if Laurie asked her to marry him again she would say yes. That’s kinda unfair to herself and him when you think about it, marrying someone just because you’re lonely? Not because you are truly in love with him? How would you both be happy together? I’ve seen some discussion around them and I don’t really like people putting in the tropes “oh lovers who went wrong or right person wrong time” to Jo and Laurie. Because they weren’t lovers, they were friends. And I don’t understand where people get Jo being the “right” person for Laurie. I wish we could have gotten more of Jo and Friedrich. They were cute I think. And I wish we could have gotten more with Amy and Laurie. I think this summer I’m gonna find the books and read them. Anyways, there’s my thoughts and hope you are having a good day.❤️

hi anon! never be afraid to come into my inbox and ramble about little women bc talking about it is literally my fav thing.

especially when ur thoughts are so spot on, and i'm honestly so surprised and pleased u got this from greta's version. bc a lot of people think she made laurie and jo be that "right person wrong time" couple when they're not like that at all, in any adaptation, even greta's.

ur totally right, jo never loved laurie romantically. like, ever. and it's made obvious multiple times. ("i can't love you as you want me to...it would be a lie to say i do when i don't," in the proposal scene.) and it's especially made clear in the attic scene, with jo admitting she's just so lonely. but if you can't get it from: marmee: do you love [laurie]? jo: if he asked me again, i think i would say yes. do you think he'll ask me again? marmee: but do you love him? jo: i care more to be loved. i want to be loved. marmee: that is not the same as loving. jo: i know. like ur honestly dumb i'm sorry? or don't know how to read media at all. or ur just being willingly obtuse idk.

and i would go even further. i firmly believe that laurie never loved jo that way, either. that boy was lonely before he met the march family. maybe even lonelier than jo was after beth died. he was an orphan, lived with his tutor and his grandfather (who was kind of cold to laurie before he met the marches, as well.) he had no friends. jo was the first girl he loved at all, in any way. of course he thought he was in love with jo. he didn't know any other love except the love had for her. and laurie was a romantic, as well. of course he thought the two of them were meant to be.

but they weren't, ever, and that's made so clear from their conversation in the attic. laurie: jo, i have always loved you, but the love i feel for amy, it's different. and i think you were right about this, i think we would've killed each other...i think it was meant this way. like...do jolauries think laurie is lying to jo? what reason would he have to do that? it doesn't make any sense.

and jo looks so stunned (this is admittedly clearer in the book than it is in greta's version) because it's amy. not because she's jealous, or expected laurie to still love her, but because her best friend just came home married to her little sister. that would stun anyone. and she looks sad, again, because she's so lonely, and she basically looks at the rest of her family coupled up and in love (amy and laurie, meg and john, marmee and her father) and she aches, because she doesn't have that.

i really think greta's only mistake was including that stupid letter to laurie. it didn't make sense and wasn't true to jo's character at all.

and finally, once again, laurie doesn't love jo like that. not back then, and certainly not now. i mean, the journey from "i think you will marry, jo. i think you'll find someone, and love them, and live and die from them, because that's your way. and i'll watch," to "i never thought i'd prepare a carriage to help jo march chase a man, but i like it!" he's delighted in that scene, just like everyone else. bc the jo he saw with friedrich was so different that the jo that was around him. he can tell the difference because he knows the difference now, because that boy is so desperately in love with amy it's not funny.

and that's another thing jolauries disregard: laurie's love for amy. because he does love her. and amy loves him, and understands him in a way that jo never did. and laurie wants to be better for amy. because, let's face it, that boy was a mess when amy found him in europe. (and this is one other thing the movie leaves out: laurie realizes in the book that jo was right shortly after he leaves concord - the two of them would've never worked. and by the time he meets up with amy again, he isn't still mourning his relationship with jo, he's just insurmountably lonely again, just like he was before, and he doesn't see an end to it.) he heals bc he falls in love with amy. he wants to be worthy of her, because he admires her and respects her. there's a great first draft of the script which is floating around on the internet which includes this letter from laurie to amy: Dear Amy, I have gone to make something of myself, so you might not be ashamed to call me your friend. like...he just got his heart broken by her. but he doesn't get angry at her, like he got angry at jo, because he loves amy. and he wants to be around her and is desperate to have her in his life, even if it's just as a friend.

and, just to give more evidence that amy is the first and only person he's in love with (and because i just love it a lot), here's the original draft of their kiss scene: laurie: i love you. amy, i love you. amy: you do? laurie: more than anything or anyone in this world. you are first in everything. you do not have to accept me, but i love you, amy march. [amy cries even harder. he kisses her.] amy: i love you, laurie laurie: i love you, amy march. laurie literally has gently but ardently resigned himself to loving amy even if she doesn't love him back, which is such a change from when jo rejected him.

and ur totally right, jo and friedrich are so cute together (even though louis garrel is unfortunately an asshole). and more importantly, friedrich understands jo in a way laurie never did, and lover her for who she is instead of who he wants her to be. and come on, when friedrich says, "my hands are empty," and jo takes his hands in hers and says, "they're not empty," and then he kisses her in the rain. like that is peak romance idk what anyone says.

anyways. tl;dr jo never loved laurie, laurie never loved jo, laurie is in love with amy, jo is in love with friedrich.

anon, feel free to come into my inbox anytime! and let me know how u like the book! i think if u have these opinions, u will like it a lot :)

#little women #little women 2019 #little women meta #meta #amylaurie #amy x laurie #jolaurie #jo x laurie #jo x friedrich #jo march #laurie laurence #theodore laurence #amy march #friedrich bhaer #long post #anons are beautiful #thank u for the ask!

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darylsdelts · 1 month

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How did he get into twd and what made Daryl ur fav

Heyyy! By “he” I’m gonna assume you mean me?? Idk.

I started watching twd during covid. I’m real bad at watching shows since I can’t seem to grasp storylines and am awful and taking in info and generally find it hard to get into stuff.

But.

I have an obsession with zombie and apocalypse media and I have done since 2014 when tlou first came out.

So basically I’d watched every zombie film I could find and avoided twd like the plague because I just didn’t think I’d be able to sit through that many seasons but Ofc I broke and I started it and I loved it sm!

Around season three I was finding it hard to keep up with watching it so my mum carried on without me and I came back to watch season four (asked my mum if I missed anything and she said not really💀 didn’t bother telling me about the govenor or Merle so I was a bit lost).

Then I watched the rest of it, completely obsessed and when I finished, season ten had just come out so that was exciting. Then I rewatched the whole show twice before s11. I still continue to rewatch it😭.

As for why Daryl is my favourite… the scene when the barn is burning down and he rides his bike to go pick up and save Carol, I knew I loved him. When I first saw him I thought he was annoying and rude if I’m honest and I hate that I thought that.

I mostly love Daryl because of how intricate and complicated his character is and I also relate to him in a lot of strange ways, plus I admire his bravery.

ALSO… he’s the most beautiful angel to ever exist and I love him with my entire being.

I’ve had many obsessions before, mostly band fandoms and random celebs but they all pretty much lasted two years of being my fixation.

People Ik irl say I have an obsession problem and they’re probably right.

Never been obsessed with anything the way I’m obsessed w twd and Daryl.

#daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl x reader #norman reedus #daryl dixon smut #daryl smut #twd smut

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losergeekwhoever · 4 months

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CHRISTINE CANIGULA ❤️

AAA OKAY GREAT THANK YOU

Okay so thoughts on CHRISTINE

Favourite thing:

- How loud and busy her outfits are on Broadway. I like the patches a lot and it’s fun to draw her with a bunch of jewelry

- I reallly love her conversation with Jeremy on Halloween. Give me more of that

Least favourite thing:

- probably just that she gets with Jeremy in the end. I actually really like stagedorks I think they’re so cute buuuut yeah. Cute friends!

- Musical Christine is also very manic pixie dream girl, you know? I think if she had more time to be a little more human I’d like her ten times more.

Favourite line:

- “No this is where you meet for the swim team..” CHRISTINE!! Mean! AJJFAJBA

BrOTP:

- Michael and Christine I want them to be friends sooooo bad you have no idea. Reference point for their friendship is them in Stammer. I love Stammer

OTP:

- I think it has to be stagedorks. She and Jeremy should mostly be friends but if she’s dating anyone I think they’re so sweet. Am I being influenced by my love for Jeremy? Probably

nOTP:

- I feel like this is more of a 2017 fandom thing but Christine and Jenna? People shipped them right? Im just not a fan of that

- I actually don’t ship Christine with anyone in a major way..

Random Headcanon:

- She’s an only child.

- Doesn’t really cry about like anything. She CAN cry as an acting choice but otherwise does not

- I need to think about Christine more often I’m so sorry that’s all I’ve got

Unpopular opinion:

- I think I prefer book/play Christine

Song I Associate with Them:

- World’s Smallest Violin - AJR

-This song is like fast and fun. That’s kinda Christine!

-Thinking about Christine as trying to be totally okay all the time because other people have worse stuff going on and relatively she’s doing great. Imposter syndrome and feeling inadequate but needing to be on top of things to not let other people down. I think that kind of mentality leads her to being disregarded as someone with feelings. Like she puts a lot of effort into not being a part of anyone’s problems that she becomes an object people are vying for. She gets one chance to open up and vent like a person and Jeremy still ends up ASKING HER OUT. (“Let me play my violin for you”) It would be nice if she was allowed to complain or be a PERSON around her friends, but they keep disregarding her and trying to date her, and maybe that’s fine because it’s not like she’s REALLY suffering or anything (“Somewhere someone’s got it worse”)

Fav photo:

-I couldn’t choose between these two. I just love this scene in the London production so much. Oh my god Christine <3

And here’s Christine from my sketchbook if you’ve made it this far. I need to draw her more

#I swear I like Christine #I promise #be more chill #bmc #my art aha #christine canigula

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darklight-owl · 4 months

Text

Owl Reviews Stuff She Just Finished: Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright

So yk I didn't know what to expect going into this game, I'd seen really funny dialogue of it and mostly got it because I was extremely hyperfixated on Layton. But I did NOT expect such an emotional rollercoaster of a game with themes that tie into both Professor Layton and Ace Attorney and utilizes the strengths of each series so efficiently. I did not expect this game to make me cry. I did not expect this game to become one of my favorite Professor Layton AND Ace Attorney titles. But it did so I have to talk about it.

With two successful IPs on the cover this game could have easily been halfassed but every corner of it is full of passion for both titles. I mentioned before how they build off and complement each other and I think that's a result of the people working on this game having an in-depth knowledge of what makes PL and AA work and what their shortcomings are.

For example (I mentioned this in the liveblogs but may as well repeat myself here) Ace Attorney games are often limited to just the courtroom and investigation, not to mention you're not going to see 90% of the characters ever again after the case is done. This is serviceable for the kind of game AA is but it makes the world itself feel a bit uninteresting. However Professor Layton games have you confined to one town and make you explore it in depth, with recurring background characters who all have different (yet basic) personalities. Because of this, the Layton segments where you walk around town become crucial parts of the game where you can interact with future or past witnesses as they go about their lives, making these witch trials feel like they're taking part within an actual community, which make the emotional beats in the trials hit REALLY hard.

In turn, AA strengthens PL by adding variety. Layton games can be a bit monotonous if you're not engaged since the gameplay mostly consists of talking to people and solving an occassional puzzle, and there's a lack of interesting smaller mysteries to keep the audience engaged while they work on solving the bigger ones. But Ace Attorney games thrive on side stories, they're what make the trials so interesting! So by adding the smaller mysteries in the form of witch trials and mixing in clues about what the Hell is going on in Laberynthia you make a much more dynamic story that never feels like you're getting nowhere.

Enough about story structure and nerd stuff like that though, let's talk characters!

I love the main four and have always loved the main four so I'm not gonna talk abt them. The original characters for this game were freaking amazing. I see a lot of people really dislike Espella (which is understandable since she's probably the weakest of the cast) but she's pretty alright imo. She's going through a lot of things with the entire town despising her and [SPOILERS] so it makes sense why she would act the way she does, even then I feel like most heartfelt moments with her were a bit forced, which kind of lessens the impact of the last scene. I LOVE the relationship between her and [ANOTHER SPOILER] as well as the dynamic she has with Maya though.

I LOVE BARNHAM. He's one of my favorite prosecutors, he may not have any deep angst or trauma like so many of my favs do, but he's just a well meaning dude who thinks he's doing what he needs to to protect his town, even if it means casting wiitches into the flames. He also goes through a little character arc of his own where he also starts to bend the rules, the only laberynthian to do so. It's fun. Barnham is my best friend.

Unfortunately I can't talk about Darklaw or The Storyteller without getting into spoilers but basically: I love Darklaw and think she deserves the world, I'm on the fence about The Storyteller and feel like parts of his character were extremely rushed.

The secondary characters are also great, you have your classic goofy witnesses but also some really heartfelt characters and relationships in the trials, this is nothing new for Ace Attorney but when you include the conscious knowledge that these characters are going to be cast into the fire then these mini stories are enough to move me to tears (Looking at you, Golden Court).

Anyway, overall a fantastic experience that caught me completely off guard. No notes. I give it 10 burning witches out of 10.

Oh. And also:

#once again spoiler free so i can convince you to like the things i like #sorry for the incomprehensible rambling these 'reviews' are essentially excuses to ramble anyway so #i have a lot more concrete thoughts on this than i did for ghost trick i think thats bc im familiar with these series and ik how they work #owl reviews stuff she just finished #plvspw #professor layton vs phoenix wright #plvsaa #professor layton #ace attorney

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mylittleredgirl · 4 months

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Hi! I'm so excited you're finally watching MASH! I hope you enjoy it and I selfishly hope you grow to like Margaret who starts off as not great and then becomes great and my fav.

i am having a great time!! i started at the beginning of season one and just finished season two. some of the discs in the complete series set i got as a gift last year don't play right or cut out mid-episode, which is driving me a little nuts, but i guess i'm having the classic syndicated tv experience of randomly missing stuff and always having some episode i've never seen floating out there forever.

my long form thoughts so far for those interested:

it's such a great collection of characters for comedy, because they are all pathetic and terrible in their own unique way, but are so charming and funny and easy to watch while they commit their little crimes against common sense.

i really like the mix of episodes -- the We're Having A Caper episodes and then the ones where it's like we're just kind of living here and things happen in some kind of order, but the things aren't necessarily related, which feels very appropriate for the setting.

i'm watching without the laugh track, which highlights one of my favorite things, which is that the main and background characters laugh out loud at what's happening. it gives the show such a lived-in and messy feeling. i just came off of watching the good place 5 times in a row, where the dialogue and plot are especially tightly packed, so this feels especially like it has a lot of just hanging out.

i keep thinking about how i'm watching this show fifty years later, not knowing what is the 70s lampooning itself, what is the 70s lampooning the 50s, and what is actually being played straight but i assume is a joke because of my perspective. some scenes are hard to watch on purpose and some are hard to watch by accident.

i wish i were watching it with my dad so he could keep pausing it to explain things to me, even if they don't need explaining, because i think that would add to the experience.

character feelings after two seasons:

hawkeye: alan alda being so charming and having such great timing really makes this an easy get. of course i'm going to love him equally in both success and failure (mostly failure).

trapper: my bestie!!! there's something about his face that makes me feel like i know him personally. i just love his physical acting choices. it's always funny. my fave i think.

margaret: i definitely enjoy her!!! how can you not?? they introduce her as being both highly capable and The Sexiest American Woman In Korea, who either can have or has had every high ranking officer in the army, and then she's soooo horny for the most pathetic man alive that she can't function.

frank: the narrative requires him to suck sooooo much every minute of every episode, because everyone else also sucks, so he really needs to put his back into it. he's gotta be there and he does it well, idk what more to say.

henry: he fascinated me in season one because i was like... clearly he's supposed to be A Caricature, but i couldn't figure out which one, and then he turned out to be A Character instead. i love his complexity and his serious moments, but i don't tend to find drunk acting that funny, so a lot of his shtick is lost on me. i wonder if he's the only character (and maybe klinger?) where the laugh track would actually serve him.

radar: as a former assistant yeah bro i get it, you keep on keeping on.

father mulcahey: the only one who is not terrible at all so far even once. Protect Him. i am so happy every time he comes on screen.

klinger: i'm still warming up to him as a character since he's mostly a sight gag still.

the parade of nurses: i have decided to take it at face value that 1) they are all here at war because they're super horny, 2) they are playing hard to get for fun, and 3) the pill was somehow invented before 1950, and under those conditions GET IT GIRLSSSSS.

my largest outstanding question: were they all actually functioning people before the war? i assume war did this to them but it's also possible they were like this before and their wives are all like THANK GOD they're overseas cheating on me because imagine how much worse it would be if they were like this but in my house.

on to season three!!!

#it's about time i watched m*a*s*h #(and i finally am!)#chatter post #Anonymous #mashblogging

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bibibbon · 2 months

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Hello, can I ask why do you think there are so many BL ships from BNHA and JJK? Do you also have fav ships from those two series?

I don't mean any negative things to any fan fics writers or fan art artist (thanks so much every one for sharing your hard works in the fandom).

But like, I'm a fan of both series for years now, and I saw them mostly as just platonic (bakudeku, tododeku, kiribaku, satosugu, itafushi, etc). Now, I'm not anti mlm or wlw because I love BL and GL media (manga, manhwa, books, tv series, etc), but I'm kinda hard to enter into shipping. Do you think I'm weird? Or maybe I'm slow in understanding the romantic subtext in those scenes from both series?

My take on it I guess is that people just love shipping characters together. Fandoms low-key thrive on shipping most of the time and especially when it comes to rareships. In my opinion any legal ship can work depending on how someone writes the story so there's that.

Iam not a huge shipper myself and if I do ship stuff I tend to be a multishipper prefering to enjoy multiple amount of contents that people make. MHA has horribly written ships point blank. Sure togaocha could of worked but it doesn't the same with BKDK. Any ships in MHA that were introduced as possibilities also lack any sort of development. This obviously doesn't stop people from shipping and developing their own ships (as they rightfully should) but canon wise there isn't much going for MHA

When it comes to Jujutsu kaisen akutami already acknowledged that he isn't that good at writing romance so he chooses not to excpet of already established ships like hakari x kirarka or tragic ships like mechamiwa. Even when it comes to that people do view stgs and itafushi as heavily romantically coded and I can see where theyre coming from as there is some heavy romantic subtexts.

Overall, Iam not much of a romantic shipper myself I just love platonic bonds and ships. For some reason I find that platonic ships and bonds are just better written and can connect with the audience a whole lot more easily and better compared to romance. Iam not much of a romance fan so I don't consume much of that side of media. Iam not sure if it's only me but stories centering around one ship get really boring for me whereas other stories that go out to critique stuff or explore ideas are more enjoyable.

Also no I really don't think you're weird I do somewhat relate to you tho.

I don't think MHA has any romantic subtexts however I definitely do see the Jujutsu kaisen romantic subtexts.

Writers usually give readers freedom to decide how they view things. Iam not much of a romance type of reader so I just like viewing a lot of things as platonic just because I think platonic relationships are overall stronger and better then romance ones

#thanks for the ask!#thanks anon!#not much of romance shipper #mha #jjk #bnha #Jujutsu kaisen #ramble #anti bkdk #anti togachako #platonic soulmates are just better #romance is cool but iam not a huge fan #writers usually allow readers for interpertations

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emiliosandozsequence · 2 months

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what scifi media do you like?

OH ANON I HAVE SO MANY. i'm so glad you asked 💕💕💕 (tagging @gorydean too so she sees 💕💕💕)

gotta start first and foremost with the sparrow series by mary doria russell as my blog is basically just a shrine to it at this point. amazing book and definitely recommend it if you love found family, first contact, trauma, tragedy, and the abandonment of the faithful by g-d. huge massive trigger warning tho. everyone says the second book isn't as good as the first, but i completely disagree. i think they're bitg equally as good as each other; the second book just takes awhile to get to the most insanity inducing parts whereas the first one starts out strong with that and keeps going until the end of the story.

i would have more books to recommend, but i've only just started REALLY getting back into reading after several years of not reading as much due to a variety of reasons (mostly trauma and chronic and mental illness). that being said, i have an insane amount of films to give you to watch instead of books.

gotta recommend my all time fav film (or one of the two anyway), the fountain. most people...don't like this movie because they think it's hard to understand and doesn't make sense towards the end (i had to watch it several times to get it), but please please please watch it. it's a beautiful film both visually and plotwise as long as you give it a chance 💕

sound of my voice is softer in terms of scifi, but still definitely scifi. it's another film that lets you decide what to believe. it's also another film people tend not to like for whatever reason, but i think it's extremely well done and the ending is so 💕💕💕💕💕💕

cloud atlas. very much a story in the same vein as the fountain taking place over different timelines. another beautifully done story about how everything and everyone is connected throughout space and time. ofc my fav timelines are the ones with robert frobisher and sonmi-451. i do also recommend the book, but i liked the film better because of a few of the changes they made.

sunshine is one of my fav films ever and i've loved it since i was in high school and first saw it. it reminds me a lot of three body problem in the sense that antagonist (idk if i would exactly call him a villain even tbh) is using g-d as a reason for the things he's doing. there's a few deleted scenes i wish they'd kept in because it really emphasizes this, but even so, this film is gorgeous in so many ways.

i origins. if u can't tell already i'm a huge brit marling fan and i think this is one of her best stories. again: you get to choose what to believe and you really have to watch the whole film for the pay off, but it is so very much worth it. i think i've actually only ever watched this film once, tho idk why bc it's genuinely one of my favs.

looper is another film that idk why more people weren't into it. the setting is dystopian. i was trying to think of a way to explain it in a few short sentences like i have the rest of the films here, but it's one of those films also that i think going into it knowing nothing is better. the kid who plays the rainmaker is so fucking good too. he's not even 10, but he played that role perfectly.

elysium. EVERYONE KNOWS DISTRICT 9 BUT NO ONE KNOWS ELYSIUM. i stand by my opinion that this film would be infinitely better if diego luna were the main character instead of matt damon, but even so i really love this film. the score is gorgeous. also lmao we for real might be living in this universe soon if elon fixes up that space hotel he wants to do fucking rip

ender's game. the author is a homophobic and transphobic dickwad who actively gives his money to anti-lgbt organizations, so watch this for free if you can (and buy the books second hand), but i actually really enjoyed what they did with this film. a lot of people thought it was too rushed, but also like....ender's game is a very Dense book, so i understand why they did it the way they did it. also the score is amazing.

signs. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact. this film gets shit on a ton for reasons i do not know, but it's actually really well done. it scared the ever living shit out of me the first few times i saw it tho bc i did Not grow up watching horror.

knowing. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact (can you tell i have a type of film/media i like???). this film also scared the ever living shit out of me when i first saw it to the point i had to sleep with the lights on, but in all actuality it isn't scary at all (i was just 14 and had never seen a thriller before lol). i really love disaster films tbh, but this is one of my all time favs (next to greenland).

another earth i did not like when i first saw it. i thought the whole thing was kind of pointless and didn't make very much sense, but the more i've thought about it since then, the more i've understood it. funnily enough, i never watched it a second time, but it's brit marling, so i probably will eventually. again: definitely recommend.

lucy. listen i know this has scarlett johansson in it and none of us like her, but this film is good despite her. i thought it was going to be dumb as hell when i first saw it, but i actually ended up liking it so much that it's heavily inspired the next novel i'm planning on writing (a scifi space opera about a girl becoming g-d).

origami. okay this one is difficult to find and you WILL have to buy it if you want to watch it (trust me: i have searched FAR and wide for this film in any other place and vimeo is the ONLY place i found it; it's only $5 to rent on there tho), but it's so worth it. it's worth it. it's one of my fav films and i watched it purely because of francois arnaud and i'm glad i did. this literally is his best work imo.

ink is my all time hands down favorite film. idk if you would even call it scifi, but i love it so much i just wanted to talk about it. it very obviously had zero budget, but they used what little money they had VERY wisely and the result was this beautiful film. the story makes me sob every single time. actually it's quite similar to origami, so if you like one, you'll probably like the other.

tron: legacy is another film that people shit on and idk why. it has The Best religious imagery. like how are you going to top one of the programs falling to their knees in prayer as flynn passes by????? the whole thing seems to be a jesus/judas metaphor anyway and i'm crazy for that shit. gotta mention the score as always because daft punk knocked it out of the park (people shit on the score too and i really don't get why).

thelma. i watched this one a whim with a friend and i cannot recommend it enough. i feel like it was kind of popular on here when it first came out bc it's a sapphic film, but it's also just very good in general. i've seen people get super upset about it also bc their interpretation makes it lesbophobic (which is crazy to me but whatever.

melancholia. i did Not like this movie for the longest time, but then i watched it recently and finally Got it. i guess you really do have to be a certain level of depressed to understand this film, so if you're insanely suicidal and can barely function like me, then i recommend it. you will probably get some catharsis out of it like i did. it is a very Strange film tho.

the creator came out at the end of last year and it was so good. definitely my fav film to come out in the last few years and involves g-d, religion, and AI. the score also in this is great (everybody say thank you hans zimmer. again.). the ending makes me sob so much.

more that i love a lot, but not as much (apparently there's a character limit, so i can't explain why these are my favs too, but it's for similar reasons as above).

the matrix trilogy

the fifth element

snowpiercer

blade runner 2049

as for tv shows, i don't have as many, but i do have a few that i would highly recommend if you like any of the films above:

halo. again: everyone shits on this show, but the absolute TRAGEDY of it is the fanboys hate it bc they suck and are bigots and everyone else who would like it (LIKE MY MUTUALS) refuses to give it a chance because of its overall reputation, so i'm BEGGING YOU GUYS TO GIVE IT A CHANCE.

foundation. genuinely fucking good. so much of what the creators of this show have done to change the story has been for the better. i read the books and they were okay, but the show is so so good. idk when season 3 will be coming out, but hopefully soon (same for halo, which i actually like better than this show).

the oa. i will forever mourn what we could've had with this show. i can't even talk about it without getting choked up. this getting canceled really truly fucked me up.

castle rock season 1. technically a horror series, but this season is more scifi than horror, i think. everything really comes to a head in episode 9 iirc and that episode still makes me crazy when i think about it. i definitely need to do a rewatch.

firefly/serenity. you've probably heard this one recommended before, but there's a reason for that. it's really so good, but g-d and jesus hate me because it too was canceled before it could even finish ONE SEASON. thankfully there's a film that kind of ties everything together, but WE COULD'VE HAD SO MUCH MORE.

i tried to put in some movies that aren't talked about as much on here!! i also have several letterboxd lists dedicated purely to scifi, which you can find below.

holy holy holy (scifi (and other films) involving religious imagery or straight up just about theology

the sparrow cinematic universe (films that are either discussed in the sparrow or remind me of it or that i could see the main characters watching)

but it was my body. it was my blood. and it was my love. (films that i either genuinely believe could be based off of the sparrow or just remind me of it in some way)

per aspera ad astra (scifi films i have seen or heard of. this literally is every single scifi film i remember ever in existence so it's quite long)

also mainstream scifi that i recommend/am obsessed with

interstellar

dune series (wer'e talking about the books here; not whatever the fuck denis villenueve pulled with the films lmao)

district 9

annihilation/southern reach trilogy

ex machina

prometheus

pacific rim

arrival

event horizon

mad max: fury road

nope

mobile suit gundam series (mostly hathaway and g-witch tho)

star wars (mostly the prequel and sequel trilogies)

nausicaa of the valley of the wind

castle in the sky

inception

tenet

high life

aldnoah zero

hanna

real steel

86: eighty-six

this is so much longer than i meant it to be omg. anyway people do not call me the scifi queen for no reason.

#ask #anonymous #long post cw

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spilledstars1234 · 12 days

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Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from Link Click? What do you think are Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

Also, can I ask your top fav characters and fav moments from the series (Link Click), if you don't mind me asking (again)....? Thanks so much....

Hey there!

And of course I don't mind, i'm thrilled, actually! :D This is one of the first questions i've received so I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability!

For your first question, what i think is one of Cheng Xiaoshi's greatest personality strengths is that he cares. He cares so much, and I consider that to be both a strength and a weakness for him.

Like, for example, in the show, he often helps clients on a dive even when he's not supposed to. But no matter what Lu Guang says to not change anything, he still does so anyway, because by becoming the person, he gains their thoughts and feelings. Even if his actions aren't always right, his decisions mostly stem from his mental state at the time, and because he is such an empathetic person, his actions are a result of his emotional state. This is why I consider it a strength and a weakness.

As for Lu Guang... he's also very flawed, which I love. He's a liar, and has been lying to protect CXS ever since the beginning of the show, actually! He hid Emma's death from CXS, and in the earthquake arc, we see that he told CXS that he could save the people involved in the earthquake even though CXS actually couldn't...but, in that part of the show, we learn that he wasn't actually intentionally trying to hurt CXS, but he was just trying to protect him because he knows that CXS wouldn't be able to handle it if he actually knew that they would all still die regardless of what he tried to do to save them (because CXS' actions VERY much depend on his mental state).

As for what I love about their dynamic, I love how LG is stoic yet cares inside, whereas CXS cares and shows it openly. Like, CXS makes descisons on his mental/emotional state, while LG's descions are more rational/ logical, and LG often thinks things through before acting on something. They are such polar opposites, which i love so much!

The fact that Lu Guang is the one that chooses which cases they take based on what he sees, because Cheng Xiaoshi can be very unpredictable and his actions very much depend on his mental state, and because LG is the more level-headed one he helps him make decisions/ guides him so he doesn’t screw up the timeline… ughhh i just love their dynamic soo muchhhhh! (i ship shiguang lol)

My top favorite characters are, naturally, Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi. Though I do love Qiao Ling too!

My favorite moment from the series...wow, that's hard, haha!

I have two favorite moments, actually. The first one is the scene back in season 1, the fight between Cheng Xiaoshi and Liu Min when they were in the darkroom.

My second favorite scene is the last episode of season 2, where we discover the truth of what Lu Guang did. Like we find out that LG isn't the stoic guy we all expected him to be, and that in actuality, he really, really cares. If he didn't, then why would he break all his rules and even risk breaking the timeline just to save Cheng Xiaoshi?

Hopefully all my answers were okay, and my apologies if this got long! I love Link Click so sometimes i end up ranting for a while, haha! But thank you sm, i really appreciate your questions!!!

#thank you so much for asking!#Ask #link click #shiguang daili ren #shiguang dailiren

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mayakern · 1 year

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now i’m curious what were ur fav MP goofs !!! :0

ok i have a 10 image limit and some of these are multi-image jokes so i’ll try to distill these as best i can. also these jokes are all from i think chapter 4 and later, where i really flourished my sense of humor more

1. marina’s high school crush/bff sharkwanda being a highly contentious contestant on a spoof of top model

this is specifically a spoof of the early seasons, which usually had an assessment within the first 2 or 3 episodes, including a weigh in. as much as i loved trashy tv, i always hated these moments so i thought it would be funny to have a literal shark and to have her be weighed against mostly average-sized humanoids because it would be ridiculous for anyone to expect a healthy shark to weigh the same amount as a human.

there were a couple other layers to this: george idolizing her as a strong, independent woman. george’s brother freaking out because sharkwanda just ate a man on camera and no one’s overly bothered by this. george chastising him for not realizing it was obviously fake/over dramatized for the ratings (and not examining that then this moment of “self empowerment” would also be fake). and then also i named her after a fish named wanda. except she’s a shark named wanda. she’s also the most beautiful and popular girl in the world and she wins her season and becomes a very successful model.

2. the tinsley family thanksgiving outfits. actually their themed outfits in general. i think shit like this is super cute and funny. i also just enjoy writing siblings who rib each other lovingly.

also the part of this where george’s mom has three eyes (she’s psychic) and her dad has no eyes, so her brother has two eyes and for all intents and purposes looks human, but he is a full blooded monster. early on i had some ideas for an off shoot chapter about eli and his struggles with his identity (being a monster but not looking like one and not feeling at home in either community), but it got scrapped for time and also because it felt like too close a parallel to mixed race people who pass as white and that’s not my story to tell.

3. sharkwanda’s cover (up) girl ad campaign during the superb owl half time show. some of this stuff was a bit on the nose, but there’s a line about sharkwanda finally having makeup that doesn’t melt off her face like hot cheese that i still like

4. this multi-strip joke where franny’s dad pulls a turkey out of a hat. just read it there’s nothing to explain lol

5. basically every part of the magic shop scene, but especially the part where percy meets franny’s dad for the first time during a very tense situation and franny’s dad is wearing a skeleton (this is a reference to ranma 1/2). and then also percy sits and there’s a whoopee cushion. it’s incredibly awkward and not exactly haha funny, but it simultaneously cuts and adds to the tension in a way that is very monsterpop.

6. human!franny getting ben a dog toy as his secret santa gift (he doesn’t own a dog) and then dropping it and then it making a horrific, shrill squeak when it bounces

7. the whole situation with chadler, his horrible christmas outfit, the marshmallow gun, and him taking sexy santa ben as prisoner.

8. ben, killed by glitter, soon to be avenged by his crush comrade (or not)

9. george being gifted a framed painting of a photo of herself, asleep during class, which she later carries into an actual museum and gets in trouble for because a guard thinks she stole a piece of art

10. the brotebook

this has been very long but i hope u enjoyed it

#ask #monsterpop #mpask #long post

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rhysdarbinizedarby · 8 months

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Relax, I’m From The Future

A conversation with writer-director Luke Higgingson

Relax, I’m From The Future was a surprise fav of mine at last year’s Fantasia Fest, and it’s finally getting a theatrical release! The movie is a punk rock sci-fi comedy with a lot of wit and even more heart starring Rhys Darby (Flight of the Conchords, Our Flag Means Death) and Gabrielle Graham (Possessor, Twenties) as an unlikely duo trying, sort of, not really, to save the world. I got a chance to speak with writer-director Luke Higginson a few weeks ago about all the work that went into his debut feature. Read our (lightly edited for clarity) conversation below!

Tell me, how do you describe this movie to other people?

It’s very much my attempt to work through my anxieties about the future and the state of the world in a way that might bring me some comfort without eliminating the very real cynicism I have about it. [My short film in 2013] started as a simple joke idea — the idea of an unprepared timetraveler — and then when people sort of liked that film more than I expected, I thought about how I would make that meaningful enough to expand it. And as I noodled on that, Trump got elected, and Covid happened, a lot of terrible things happened… It really became a source of therapy for me to write this ridiculous film and pump my anxieties into it. That’s really where I found what the film was about.

There is an incredible dynamic between Rhys and Gabrielle — how did you work your story with them?

Gabriel Graham was the first person that I knew I wanted to cast [as Holly]. I saw Brandon Cronenberg’s Possessor, and she had such presence, but I didn’t know if she was funny, so I watched Twenties… it was clear she had comic chops.

For Casper [Rhys Darby’s character], you have to be on board with following him even when he does some questionable things. And also, he’s on screen for so much of the movie that it had to be someone with real energy, especially in a script that’s mostly people talking to each other. There weren’t a lot of people that I felt fit that. Then when his name was floated, it was immediately like omg holy shit that would be amazing! My producers at Wango films are phenomenally gifted at getting scripts in hands. I spent a couple of days building up a dossier of arguments for why he should do the film. And when we got on the call and he was just like “Hey, so I just wanted to meet ya and make sure you were ok with me doing this movie”, I was blown away. He had this tiny little window where we could get him for 15 shooting days and he agreed to come up [to Hamilton, Ontario] and do it. I’m still pinching myself about that, it was amazing.

In terms of working with them, because of that window of time, there was no time for rehearsal. There was barely time for Rhys to learn his lines. I got one hour of Rhys and Gabby in a room together before the first day of shooting… Something clicked, it was like Oh it’s Casper and Holly, they’re hanging out!

The scene in the playground — where the two of them are sharing a bottle of booze and talking — was incredibly cold, absurdly cold. And they were both very underdressed for that weather. They were both improving and bouncing off of each other. That was the scene where I felt like ah there’s something special between these two in particular. It was cool, it was really special, both of them are just amazing.

Wait, the shooting schedule was only 15 days?

We had Rhys for 15 days, and we shot for 18 days, but Rhys is in almost all of the movie.

How did the music in the movie play into writing your story and how did you manage to clear all those songs?

I knew a ton of people in the Toronto indie-rock punk scene and I always knew that if I ever got to make a movie, I knew all these great songs that no one knows. I listened to a lot of that stuff writing the film — Holly being part of the punk scene was very important to the character. I gave [Gabrielle] a playlist of a bunch of 70s CBGB stuff, she watched a documentary on Poly Styrene. That really embodied the vibe of the music. I wanted it to be all Toronto music on the soundtrack, it’s basically a split between songs from bands that I played with or went to see back in the day and bands that are still operating right now. The big coup was getting Pup involved, which was really exciting. They didn’t have to say yes at all, but they really were big fans of Rhys and [because of Covid] I think they were a little itchy to get on stage in front of a bunch of people. We got to use a few of their songs, as well as Metz and Bad Waitress and a couple of other great bands.

In terms of the licensing side what I didn’t expect as a problem was that many of those bands no longer exist and never had any kind of official existence in terms of paper work or legality, so I perhaps foolishly did not see that coming as a problem. Anagram, Sailboats Are White, Lunchmeat — all great bands that I love, but [licensing their songs] was a trickier thing than I thought it was gonna be.

What are some of the challenges or joys that you encountered in the editing room, putting this thing together?

The editing process was long, longer than I expected. My baby was 6 months old when we started shooting, which was a real challenge for me and my wife. I literally edited the film with my baby next to me, so it took a while. But really, it was about matching the film to Rhys’s rhythm. When we [cast] Rhys, who’s one of the best improvisers comedically in the world, I knew that [for the edit] I was gonna want both sides of the conversations he has with Gabby. So any time that Rhys is talking to another person, there’s two cameras going at the same time and that really allowed us to use the little moments of inspiration and improvisation. If Rhys gives you a piece of gold, you know that you have it covered. That was big, I think both in the shooting and in the editing.

Time travel can be a tricky narrative device! How did you build the rules of this universe?

I knew right off the bat that I was neither capable nor interested in doing something scientifically “accurate”, but you also don’t want the audience to feel like you don’t give a shit. It has to feel like there’s an internal consistency. So my guiding principle was that rules of time travel are going to be what serves the humour and the story, and then once I have those things, to make sure it’s internally consistent. It actively subverts what I felt was the most common tropes — like in Terminator, you have to be naked to travel through time, in my movie you have to have no skin showing of any kind. In most time travel movies you can go back and forth, in mine you can only go back. When drafting it out, I went with the ideas that I found funny, then once I had the beats, I worked very hard to make sure it was internally consistent within that.

What was screening your film at Fantasia like?

It was incredible, I can’t say enough good things about Fantasia. I wanna shout out programmer Carolyn Mauricette, who saw a very rough cut of the film without any of the sound mix or special effects. She saw it, she got it, she connected to it. It just meant so much, that phase of the editing process, you’re very emotionally fragile, you have no idea if you’ve made something that works or not, and that was such a vote of confidence.

What are you hoping people take away from this?

I am genuinely very excited for people to see Rhys do this. I feel like he uses some muscles that you don’t get to see him use normally, he’s such a star. And I think Gabriel Graham is incredibly slept on, like she’s a successful actor but I think way more people should know her. I’m gonna sit in on a bunch of screenings — I never need to watch the movie again, but I do love watching the audience watch it, and there are some moments in the back third of the movie that I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing an audience react to.

I didn’t even ask you about Julian Richings!

He’s incredible! I got him [cast as Percy] by recording a video begging him to be in the movie because he’s a legend! I first saw him in Hard Core Logo when I was a teenager, he’s so captivating. So ya, I recorded a shameless message and sent it to him, and luckily he is the sweetest man in the world, just the easiest person in the world to work with — I can’t say enough nice things about him.

I think this movie has a lot for a lot of different crowds of people — you got the gays, you got the nerds, you got the horror fans -

Those are all my people! Those are my favourite type of people!

I’m excited for people to see it!

Me too!

Source: Bad Critic

#rhys darby #ofmd #our flag means death #relax i'm from the future #interview #luke higginson

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