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astolary · 11 months

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"𝐌𝐘, 𝐌𝐘 ."

( Synopsis ) What I see the genshin characters saying after "My, my" because I think it's so attractive for some reason.

( Author's Note ) I wasn't able to update as much as I wanted to this summer, but let's just say I got injured 🫠 Have some fluff ehe

( Pairings ) Established Relationship. Separate! Albedo, Ayaka, Candace, Heizou, Kaeya, Kazuha, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer, and Yelan x GN! Reader

( Content Warnings ) Slightly suggestive. Use of pet names. Flirting. Wanderer uses foul language. Reader wearing makeup.

( Word Count ) 2.7k+ words, 200 to 300 words per character // NOT EDITED!

"My, my, your shyness is quite, adorable..." ALBEDO would hover his lips over yours, cupping your cheek against his palm. He whispers slyly, using the smug tone he knows you adore.

His heart would fly as he watches you clutch the hems of his coat. "What's on your mind?" He asked you, voice all breathy and eyes half-lidded.

You barely registered the movement of Albedo's arm pulling you closer to him. All you could focus on was the way his eyes reserved an overwhelming amount of affection for you; the smirk crawling on his face when he knew he managed to pull off a successful surprise—

—the aggressive valberry pink and mint blue paint that stuck out on his face like a sore thumb; alongside Klee's giggles carried by the wind in the background.

"I knew making paint bombs with the two of you would be a mistake." You managed to stammer out. Albedo leaned his forehead against yours and laughed lightly. Precious.

"Big brother! Big sibling! Let's make more paint bombs!" Klee rushed to another room, presumably to get more paint.

Once Klee was out of sight, Albedo softly rubbed off the paint off your cheeks. "You have something over here..." He mumbled.

"And you have something everywhere." You chuckled, reaching over to his hair that somehow got stained with green paint.

Albedo watched you close your eyes to kiss him, his hand automatically reaching to the back of your head to kiss you deeper—

—his puckered lips landed on nothing. Thin air. "No flirting in front of kids." Your head rested on his shoulder.

Albedo will find a way to kiss you, somehow.

"My, my! You're quite graceful." AYAKA spoke with awe.

"I stepped on your foot plenty of times though..." You trailed off, your face making a disgruntled expression when you saw a bruise forming on top of her foot.

"Hm? What do you mean? You never stepped on my foot even once." Ayaka placed her hands on your shoulders. "Now, relax your shoulders. Chin up, dear."

You followed her instructions, Ayaka cutely clapping in the background when you pulled it off successfully. "Yes! Great job!"

"Now move your arm around my waist, and I'll rest mine like this..." Ayaka demonstrated her instructions.

"Are you sure I should come to this banquet? I can barely follow your movement when we spar, much less when you dance. How can I learn how to waltz when I can barely do the previous two?"

Ayaka frowned at your lack of self-confidence. She lowered both your arms as you both stood in silence.

You were always the one who dispelled her worries when she was overthinking. You were always there to support her decisions and give your opinions about them, knowing she values the perspectives of others. You were always there to give her boosts of support when she was worried about being too uptight with the Traveler and Paimon; too formal and stiff with Thoma; or too shy to invite her brother to Komore Teahouse.

It's her turn now. This time Ayaka will do her best to become a pillar of support for you.

You yelped when Ayaka pulled you into a tight embrace. "A-Ayaka?"

Your voice quieted down when you saw the look in her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure you should come to the banquet! Unless, you don't want to, I can go by myself. We can just learn how to waltz for fun." She reassured you. Ayaka quickly picked up your hand so that both your arms were raised in the air.

"This will be exciting. Trust me."

Your face heated up. How can you not try for her?

"My, my... this is why I told you to be careful." CANDACE gently reprimanded you. The children just a few steps behind you celebrated another victory of "defeating the almighty adventurer in a race to success."

"Ack! Ugh, is that... it's Celestia! Is that a beautiful guardian I see that will guide me to my eternal rest?" You collapsed from sheer exhaustion—which was just falling into Candace arms as she shook her head fondly— further encouraging the children to run off and brag to their parents.

"You're great with kids." Candace whispered into your ears, lowering both of you onto the sand.

"Actually," You started. Candace lips curved into a smile. "They are devils. One of them was about to cry when I ran ahead of them by an inch. An inch."

Adoration crept onto her skin while watching you ramble on and on.

There was never a day where you reminded her how she was both the sun and moon. Spreading warmth and resurfacing the happiest memories; becoming a guiding light during the darkest times and representing hope like a shining beacon.

But to Candace, you were the sunrise and sunset. Fleeting moments that connected time and wind. Foremost, was the Guardian of Aaru village— but above that she was your Guardian. She promises to cherish you and cherish you and cherish you and cherish you—

"—obviously I'll feel guilty if I make a kid cry." You finished. You glanced up only to see Candace spacing out. "Uhm, you there?"

"Hm? Ah, p-pardon me."

Now if only there was a way she could picture your cute expression once you started accusing her of spacing out.

"My, my~ I knew my charms would make you all cute like this." HEIZOU would melt his body against yours, pecking your neck with satisfaction. Heizou's eyes would naturally close after hearing your bashful chuckles, his demeanour relaxing.

Languidly, his head would fall to your chest, trying to match the steady beats of your heart. (Quite foolish for the Shikanoin Heizou, but can you really accuse him when you're acting so squishable like this?)

He lazily threw one arm over your waist, attempting to bring you closer to him. You lifted his arm in the air in return and instead slung your leg over his body— dropping his arm back onto your thigh.

Heizou cheekily squeezed your thigh and chuckled when you hit his chest. "Heizou!"

"Yes?"

"You're usually touchy today." You couldn't help but comment.

"Could you really blame me?" He mused, charmingly raising one eyebrow.

You scrunched your nose in annoyance, pinching the side of his torso. A sense of satisfaction filled you after hearing him yelp.

"What was that for?"

"I love you~"

"That doesn't answer my question." Heizou hugged you tightly.

You didn't answer, only laughing airily.

Your hair was all over the place despite staying curled up in his arms the whole evening. Heizou was pretty sure he saw drool fall on the side of your mouth, but you're still such a beauty.

A lot of people claimed that you were lucky to have Heizou as your lover. But he knew better.

Heizou was, if not, the luckiest person in the entire universe to have you as his significant other.

"My, my... Who knew you had this fighting spirit in you?" KAEYA heaved his chest for breath. His back landed on the rough surface of the training grounds, some stray blades of grass tickling his cheek. "This is, quite surprising..."

You pointed your weapon towards him in triumph, beads of sweat rolling down the side of your face and neck. "Yield." A charming smile appeared on your face.

Kaeya subtly shivered from the cold his vision emitted. "Oh, you're still up for another round of our evening spars?" You teased.

The Calvary Captain's eyes soften. Your usual humble self, now standing proud and confident under the moonlight. Beams of Teyvat's moon filtered through the crevices and gaps of Mondstadt's walls, giving him a perfect view of you under the spotlight.

He closed his eyes in satisfaction. "I yield. I yield." He patted your leg.

You lowered your weapon beside him with a thud, and slowly sat down beside him. "Something on your mind?"

Then, he opened his eyes. He struggled to accept the soft feeling of your hands running through his hair; the way you looked down on him with a kind expression.

His mind then travelled to the memories of you helping him with his studies before becoming an official knight, taking care of him despite his tendencies to drink too often, inviting him for dinner— then he realised.

"—Yeah." That's what's on my mind.

"Care to share?"

Kaeya's voice dropped an octave lower. "You're amazing."

"My my... It seems that all I need to do to make my lovely dove go timid is to do this..." KAZUHA smiled against your back. He swayed you both side to side, his smile growing more prominent when you held his hands.

"Your bangs, it's tickling my me." You snickered.

"Oh? Is it, disturbing you?"

"No, not at all."

"So... you wouldn't mind if I do this?"

You were about to ask what, until his fingers slowly crawled to your sides. Hearty chuckles escaped the ronin while you guffawed.

"Stop— STOP! PLEASE HAHHAHAHA!"

"Should I stop? Or should I not?"

—Kazuha's vermilion eyes could put the canvas of Inazuma's sunsets to shame, and his platinum hair makes the first snow look inadequate in comparison.

He was gentle in nature, like the long kisses he leaves on your cheeks. At the same time, Kazuha was courageous, standing up for what he believed in despite the impending chance of failure.

Yet, your eyes could reflect mirages of past lives Kazuha swore he lived with you. He would melt into pools of wonder when you leaned in to give him a long, loving kiss right on the lips. Kazuha always finds his hands slipping inside your garments, rubbing sensual circles on your body. (His hands felt perfect on you as if he did this a thousand and thousand times again.)

You were shy, yet so breathtakingly amazing and funny once you opened up.

So Kazuha will continue doing his best to make you smile and laugh with whatever chance he gets.

"My, my! Who knew my lotus would be this clumsy." TIGHNARI would click his tongue light-heartedly, yet his eyes are filled with mirth. He would sigh fondly, watching you laugh sheepishly at the mess behind you.

His tail would swish in a relaxed manner, his ears naturally twitching in delight after hearing you apologize profusely. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hit the paperweight..."

You yelped when he flicked your forehead. "Don't apologise, it's just an accident. We can clean it together, no?"

You agreed and quickly knelt down to gather the papers. Tighnari kneeled down beside you, collecting the sheets on your opposite side.

Usually, he would sigh at the small inconvenience when he would clean up messes. But not when he did it with you.

Tighnari was familiar with the mundaneness you brought into his life; a refreshing atmosphere compared to the hectic schedules and adventures he's grown used to.

He vividly remembers the strong scent of food that would waft through the air if you prepared meals— only for him to join you and admire the concentrated look on your cute face while cooking. The times you would hum tunes in the shower as he stops his work and closes his eyes, momentarily relaxing at your unique voice.

"Alright, we're done." You sighed in relief. Quickly, you pecked his cheek as a thank you.

Tighnari pecked your cheek back.

You made the mundane so exciting in his life. Never has he felt so alive looking forward to coming home to you after a tiring day. The forest looked greener; the flowers were blooming into even brighter colours; and the time he spent with you was so rejuvenating and new.

So don't mind Tighnari if you catch him drifting just a tad, tad bit from research, doing chores alongside you.

"My, my, my Cecilia is so loving..." VENTI swore if there was ever a day he wanted to die, it would be today. Right at this moment, time, day hour minute second millisecond—

"You made food for me!" Venti sobbed.

If there was ever a day you wanted to die of embarrassment, it would be today. Right at this moment, time, day hour minute second millisecond— "Venti..." You trailed off.

Venti dramatically removed his hat and brought you in for a hug, the box of food you brought for him smooshed between you both. "Mwah! Mwah!"

He playfully made smooching noises and littered your face with pecks. "Venti!"

You laughed and tried to use your hand as a barrier, but it only made Venti interlock your hands together and twirl you around. Unceremoniously, you both fell to the grass, Venti using his hat to shield your head from the fall. (Not that you would have hurt yourself when he's the Anemo Archon.)

He buried your face into your chest, the food long forgotten. "Venti! The food!"

Venti giggled, the sound of bells chiming and dandelions dancing in the wind. "I guess that means you need to make some more food, ehe."

You sighed longingly. "Maybe I should stick to getting you apples only..."

"What? No!" Venti wrapped his arms around you and rolled you both around. You both tumbled on the soft grass under the Tree of Windrise.

"Joking, joking..." You placed his hat back on top of his head. "...Are you free for dinner?"

"Hmmm..." Venti thought for a second. "I have a gig this evening, but I can spare you a tune or two!" He flopped his body on top of yours.

"Thank you for taking care of me..." I love you.

"My, my... I knew you were clumsy, but not this clumsy." WANDERER would cackle at your misery, seeing you frown (cutely) at him, redoing your eyeliner for the nth time.

He stretched his back with a yawn, circling behind you as you leaned forward to see yourself clearer in the mirror. "Hurry up, will you? Why do you even bother fixing your eyeliner? We're going to be late meeting Nahida."

"I want to look presentable meeting Lesser Lord Kusanali." You rebutted, "Now leave me alone, besides I was the one who helped you with your eyeliner in the first place."

"I didn't ask for your help."

"Yeah because I decided I wanted to help you as your partner."

"Oh, so you wouldn't help me if I wasn't your partner?"

"Maybe."

"Tsk."

"Now, now. We're about to meet Lesser Lord Kusanali, not go to war." You turned around.

"So, how do I look? Is the eyeliner even?"

Wanderer paused to take in your appearance. His eyes trailed to the soft fabrics that complimented your figure; the jewels and golds adorned on your skin; the subtle makeup enticing your features—

—the sunlight making your eyes glow brighter; the air seemingly lighter; your hands your hair your nose your smile your lips— fucking hell.

"Come closet, idiot." He grasped your chin rather gently, tilting your head slightly to the side. "It's fine." You look stunning with or without makeup.

"Let's go. Hurry up, we're late."

"My, my... now how did we get ever into this position." YELAN sarcastically remarked. "The dirt's staining my fur coat."

You both hung upside down from a tree, wrapped tightly with disgusting, slimy, ropes adventurers probably used to pull up something underground. The both of you were lucky the sun was still as bright as ever— and extremely luckier, you were investigating the empty house with both Aether and Paimon. "This suspect is getting out of hand..."

"Sorry..." You sheepishly laughed. "...Happy Lantern Rite?"

"Save that for the evening." Yelan rolled her eyes. "You're fortunate." I love you.

"Hehe..."

You leaned forward slightly and closed your eyes. Yelan followed after, giving in to the temptation. Just a peck—

"Yelan! We found something! Bring (Name) and come here!"

—Yelan pushed you back lightly with her forehead, and sliced the rope that previously trapped you both. She landed elegantly; you on the other hand fell butt first with a disgraceful "oomph"

"We're coming!" Yelan picked you up by the arm and briskly walked away.

You stood there, dazed, then screamed "I know you're flustered!" You picked up the pace to match her long strides.

Aether and Paimon didn't question why Yelan had a small quirk on her lips.

astolary 2023 — do not edit, repost, or translate. © genshin official art

#（ ❁ଓ.° ） astro! genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo x reader #ayaka x reader #kamisato ayaka x reader #candace x reader #heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #kaeya x reader #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #tighnari x reader #venti x reader #wanderer x reader #yelan x reader

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thebibliosphere · 8 months

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I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!

So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.

Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.

I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.

When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.

Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.

When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.

That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.

New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.

All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)

Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...

Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.

If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.

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swashbucklery · 6 months

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Out of curiosity why do you ship sabine and shin ?

Okay anon so I am trying to figure out how to approach this ask because I know that this fandom has a real problem with bad-faith actors looking to troll Wolfwren shippers and I do not have the patience to deal with that, but also I do want to talk about them because they're lovely.

So. If you are asking because you're a troll, the answer is that I'm a big mean lesbian who likes ruining Star Wars and gets off on making innocent fanboys cry, #sorrynotsorry, it's part of my Terrible Queer Ruining Agenda and I am going to be doing it every second Tuesday until society as you know it has crumbled into gay dust.

If you're not a troll: because they hit this very particular combination of Trope Buttons that makes me ever so happy, anon!

Because it's about - like, there are ships that I love because they are a type of loving partnership that entrances me, where I see myself or see the type of love that speaks to my soul and want to enjoy the process of rolling around in it like a cat in nip. Then there are ships that I love because I'm attached to a particular character where like - this blorbo deserves the world and that includes a healing love, a warm love, a love that cultivates a space for them to rest after the harsh world around them has bruised them ever so.

THEN there are ships where - the dynamic fascinates me and I want to dig deeper into it. Where it's not about cultivating love as much as it is taking what's on screen to its gayest and most extreme possible endpoint, and that's where Sabine/Shin really gets me.

It's about the deep obsession of nemeses and the way that can feel inherently queer. It's about the ways that they are both mirrors and opposites. The way that Sabine carries so much anger and self-loathing and shame and guilt in her little heart and constantly pretends that she doesn't. The way that limits her throughout the series is riveting to me.

It's the idea of Shin, who in may ways is a more successful Jedi but in other ways is a sad, lonely little weirdo who has no community except for this weird old man and pretends that she's fine with it but can't be.

The way that they are both successes and failures in ways that mirror each other, the way that they orbit each other as nemeses and fight constantly but in their darkest moments have a weird little glimmer of - not love, but the beginnings of compassion.

And I have seen lots of writers and artists who look at that glimmer and see it as the beginning of a 200k slowburn story where they bicker and argue and slowly tenderize each other into being people who can be vulnerable, who learn to soften their prickly edges to fit around each other. And that's wonderful, and that's a beautiful way to ship Sabine & Shin.

For me, it's more about digging into that weird, fucked up little place of what if they didn't. What if they stayed fucked up and didn't soften but those orbits got closer and closer together. What if it wasn't toweringly romantic what if the orbit was the path of a comet colliding with a moon. What if that was somehow what each of them needed even though they both hated needing it. What does it feel like to confront the fact that sometimes our desires and what we want our desires to be don't align? What would it be like to envelop that in the complex ten-dimensional web of denial that both of them embody; desiring but pretending not to desire, indulging but pretending not to indulge. How far could that go before it hit a crisis point? What would that crisis point be?

There are so many stories there and that's fascinating and a thing that I find fun to explore in fiction, anon. If that's not for you, that's totally alright but there might be other dimensions that I described above where they ping with your interests more.

Or, they might just not be for you, and that's also okay.

#anyway they're weird and gay and fucked up #and i refuse to uwuify them do it if that's your thing #but i prefer it when they bite each other and have sexually charged duels #night of the living anons #shin hati: murder murder laser murder #sabine wren: tender feelings laser sword #wolfwren #ahsoka series #go see a star war

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howlingday · 5 months

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DADDY ISSUES

"The psychological effects of a strained or absence of a father figure in a relationship on a person's mental health and personal relationships."

===============================

Multi-Faceted Arena of Relationships

Ruby: So, what are you planning to do today, Weiss?

Weiss: Let's see... I have a date with Yatsuhashi later.

Ruby: Wait, I thought you were dating Sun?

Blake: I thought she was dating Neptune.

Yang: Last week, she was hanging out with that Mercury guy.

Weiss: Those didn't work out, but I'm sure that once I find some common ground with him, I'll be able to find the right one in him.

Blake: Will that be before or after you sleep with him?

Weiss: Well, who's to say it doesn't happen during?

===============================

Marrying Daddy

Weiss: So, um... Are you seeing anyone?

Ozpin: Ms. Schnee, as flattered as I am by your advances, you fail to understand the reason for your being here.

Weiss: And that is?

Ozpin: That you've been asking the faculty at Beacon, as well as those visiting our highly regarded academy that same question.

Weiss: I'm keeping ky options open!

Ozpin: And risking your career as a huntress, as well as the careers of others! I'm willing to let you off with a warning so long as you give me your word that you'll put an end to these inappropriate actions.

Weiss: ...Do you know if Ruby's uncle is single?

Ozpin: For fuck's sakes...

===============================

Avoiding Engaging Emotions

Jaune: Hey, Weiss, I was wondering if you wanted to study together later?

Weiss: And drag myself down to your level? Absolutely not.

Jaune: Oh, well, uh... Okay... (Walks away)

Ruby: Geez, Weiss! You didn't have to be so mean!

Weiss: Ruby, I am trying to focus on my career! After Professor Ozpin's "curfew," nobody's willing to get near me for any "outside academic activities" that could "jeopardize my future".

Blake: In other words, you can't sleep with half the school and have another pregnancy scare.

Yang: Yeah, and he's got a point. Besides, it doesn't mean you can't study with the rest of us.

Weiss: Actually, yes. It does. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to the library. (Walks away)

Ruby: But... But movie night...

Blake: Don't worry about her, Ruby. We can still watch movies together.

===============================

Jaune: Oh! H-Hey, Weiss!

Weiss: Ugh!

Jaune: W-Wait! Hear me out! Listen, if... If you don't want me here, just say the word and I'm gone- BUT... If you let me study next to you, I'll keep quiet the entire time.

Weiss: ...Fine.

Some time later...

Jaune: ...Pfft!

Weiss: Mrrgh!

Jaune: Sorry! Sorry, it's just... I was reading about Nicholas Schnee.

Weiss: ...What's so funny about him?

Jaune: Well, it's... It's kind of stupid, but my dad's name is Nicholas, and your last name is Schnee, and... Like I said, it's pretty stupid.

Weiss: Uh-huh...

Jaune: ...

Weiss: ...What's your dad like?

Jaune: Huh? Oh, uh, y'know, like everybody else's dad.

Weiss: Somehow, I doubt that. My father was a negligent workaholic who constantly did whatever he could to belittle my successes.

Jaune: Oh, uh... Yeah, just like that.

Weiss: Huh?

Jaune: Dad was always busy, so it was just me, my mom, and my sisters. Grew up with lots of girly stuff in my childhood, and, well, Dad was never really happy about that. He'd get mad at Mom for letting me get into it and then he'd start yelling at me when I was doing that girly stuff.

Weiss: What kind of girly stuff?

Jaune: Well, when I was a lot younger, I used to sit with my legs crossed over like this. (Knee-over-knee)

Weiss: Huh. That's...

Jaune: Weird, right? But Dad set me straight, even if it was the only way he'd ever talk to me.

Weiss: My... My Dad would do the same thing, too. I had to be perfect at everything, even on my first try. And when I would do it perfect, he'd never be there to see it. In fact, I remember one day being really sick, and my father never bothered to visit me. My sister would tell me-

Jaune: "He's too busy"?

Weiss: Yes... Exactly.

Jaune: Dads, am I right?

Weiss: For once, I can actually agree with you on that.

Jaune: (Chuckles)

Weiss: (Smiles) Say... Jaune? How old are you, again?

Jaune: I'm seventeen. Why?

Weiss: What a coincidence. So am I.

#rwby #weiss schnee #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ozpin #jaune arc

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flanaganfilm · 1 year

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Good morning/ evening! My name’s Sam and I’m currently a film student hoping to get into freelance writing. I’ve got a couple questions if you don’t mind (hoping you haven’t already answered them and I just missed them).

When you first starting making your own films, did you have already have thick skin for any critics/ bad reviews? Or is that something you grew over time?

Also, for your production company, do you hire interns and PAs or do you prefer filmmakers with more experience?

Thank you!

To your first question, I do not have a thick skin in that area AT ALL and never have. I don't know many people who do.

I'm often approached by fans who will talk about what a project of mine means to them, or I find a review or think piece online where the author really connected with my work. I want to let that feedback in, because it's validating. But letting it in means letting ALL of it in, even the negative. I don't really get to pick and choose. Once I decided to let myself react emotionally to other people's feedback, those gates are open I've got to accept whatever comes through.

I take my work very seriously, and tend to pour my heart and soul into it. We make these things because we love them. It can literally take years of daily work to do. When people love it, it feels great. When people don't, it hurts. There's really no way around that.

Film criticism has, like a lot of things, devolved over time. I was a massive fan of Robert Ebert, who was thoughtful and sophisticated in his critiques (most of the time), and tried to approach each movie he watched on the film's own terms - from the perspective of "how successful was this at achieving what it set out to do?" I see a lot of criticisms today that don't do this, and instead are lamenting what a movie is or isn't, saying things like "I wish this was more..." or "This isn't good because I wanted it to be something else."

"I wanted a ________ and what I got instead was ______ so it sucks."

The other issue is that loud, sensationalized vitriol gets more clicks. Negative reviews, especially brutal and callous ones, get more attention than positive ones. I've gotten to know and befriend some professional critics over the years, who have all told me that the positive reviews don't generate the audience reaction quite like the negative ones. People enjoy watching things get beat up. We reward the wrong kind of discourse, and that isn't unique to film criticism - it's everywhere. That's just a symptom of our culture.

One of my great frustrations is how we assert our opinion as objective truth. There's nothing more dangerous than tweeting "I liked ______ movie!" The comments flood in about how you're wrong, how it sucks, blah blah blah. People think their own taste is somehow factual. If someone says "I had a fantastic steak dinner last night and I loved it," we don't say "you're wrong, steak sucks". We understand the concept of taste when it comes to other things we consume, but when it comes to entertainment each one of us thinks we're the ultimate authority.

For myself, my producer and my wife have long discouraged me from reading reviews. I still can't help it. It's not healthy though. I can scroll past a dozen positive ones, and they evaporate in my mind, but I read one scathing thing and it sticks with me for days. There is one particular review of MIDNIGHT MASS that is one of the most baffling and frustrating things I've ever read, as the author appears to have misunderstood just about every aspect of the series, and drawn the angriest, most misguided, most erroneous conclusions. I read it with my jaw on the ground... "but they're objectively wrong. That isn't what happens, and that isn't what the show is even about." But what can I do? Who am I to say their experience of the show is invalid? They feel how they feel, and that's fine. That's okay. It has to be.

So your skin doesn't get thicker, it is a bizarre emotional experience to put something personal out there into the world and see the gamut of reactions. But at a certain point you have to remind yourself that it's impossible to please everyone, and that these projects don't belong to the filmmaker - they belong to the audience, and each and every one of those experiences is unique and valid. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned, and perhaps the critique can help you grow as a filmmaker.

I have similar feelings when I see someone trashing someone else's work I happen to love - for example, I remain baffled by people who didn't like EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, but that doesn't mean anything. It didn't work for them, that's all. Nothing works for everyone.

I have found over the years that I respect and appreciate analyses and criticisms that take this more personal point of view, and talk about their own interaction with the work as opposed to just dismissing it outright. When someone says "this movie didn't work for me," or "I didn't connect with it," or "It just wasn't my cup of tea," I have a much easier time taking it seriously. It's changed how I talk about my own reactions to movies or shows that I didn't respond to. And I found that it's made it much easier for me to enjoy things even if they aren't quite for me. Instead of being reactive and saying "it sucks" or "I hate this," I've gotten better at realizing it's not a binary experience - I can look at what DOES work for me, and I can appreciate it, even while other elements might not.

It makes for a much more nuanced discussion, and helps me grow. Sometimes, though, it's just the wrong thing to watch on the wrong day, and that's fine too. Maybe that makes it a little easier. If I step out of something and just really don't enjoy it, it helps remind me that it's not personal. Clearly, other people DO enjoy these things, sometimes I'm very much in the minority. And when that happens, I can say "oh, it's not so bad if someone hates a movie I made, or a show, or whatever. Life's too short."

But I long ago decided I'd never say anything negative about someone else's work in public. I know too much about what it takes to make a movie, and I'm not a critic. I'm a filmmaker. This town is too small, and there is zero upside in dragging another filmmaker's efforts. On the rare occasions when I do see another filmmaker indulge in that behavior, it is always a terrible look. And it can have real-world consequences - there are a few filmmakers who I've seen publicly slag off other people's work, and I quietly decided never to hire them. Like I said, it's a small town... and most of us read what people say about our work.

We should get back to that work, remember how lucky we all are to do this for a living, and leave that kind of thing to the critics.

#filmmaking #criticism #boy do I miss Roger Ebert

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heyidkyay · 5 months

Text

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Nine

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Part Nine!! Hope you lot like this one! Thank you so much for all the love its been shown, means a whole lot xx

Warnings: Scene that involves a lot of sudden panic and themes of possessive violence (Nothing too graphic, promise!), drinking but it's to be expected tbh

Masterlist

The pavement outside of the bar was grounding. A solid presence beneath my unsteady feet.

I let that feeling engulf me as I wandered a little further down from the club doors to press my back against the outer wall. The brick became a tether, I felt the grain of its grit against the leather of my jacket, the way its chill pooled across the back of my head, its rough ridges latching onto the hair that fell there.

It had been the briefest of seconds, a startled glance shared between us both before I had ripped myself away. Knowing that I’d only somehow lose myself in those eyes of his if I lingered a second too long.

But Matty had been all too bashful and almost completely unaware of my presence, so over the top in his greetings to everyone else that he had virtually made it too easy for me to slip straight past his guard and out into the night.

Now, alone, I dragged in a ragged breath. The feverish wisp of the evening air swirled around my tongue, only to then wind its way down the back of my throat. It helped to somewhat still my trembling hands.

Then, almost frantically, I moved to rifle through the pockets of my jacket in search of a pack of fags, or perhaps a lighter- practically desperate to find another means of escape. My mind wouldn’t stop its endless spinning.

I didn't get the chance though, not when the person I'd all but bolted from came tumbling out of the doorway a few feet away, dazed smile paired with a pair of sharp cutting eyes.

"There she is!"

I swallowed thickly just as my head snapped left to meet Matty, who was now making his merry way over, hands tucked in his trousers as he grinned amiably at me. Like everything was fine. Normal.

"Was beginning to think you'd done a runner!"

He didn't look much different from the last time I had seen him, which oddly felt so long ago now. That day in the cafe and then by the tube station. But still, there was something unfamiliar about the jaunty way he now held himself. It was a little too confident, arrogant almost. I wasn't sure how to interpret it. If I was even supposed to.

"No. Just needed some air." I replied, a breath of relief escaping me when my fingers finally wrapped around the familiar feel of cardboard. I pulled the carton out to distract myself from his overwhelming presence and plucked a cigarette from its contents before then extending it outwards. It felt impolite not to offer.

Matty only bared his teeth at me in a grin, as charming as ever, before he leant forward to snag another from the casing. I fumbled then for a lighter, patting myself down in search of it.

I needn't have bothered though because I blinked and then there was a flame, unwavering in the wind as Matty dangled it carelessly just under my nose.

My eyes sought his and I wet my lips before making room for the filter.

Matty leaned in closer and I hunched slightly so that I could burn the cigarette’s end, but as I did I continued to observe Matty, his stance, the mask he wore, whilst the fancy chrome lighter worked its magic.

I didn't know exactly where my heart was in that precise moment, but it definitely wasn't in my chest. It was climbing up my throat, pounding against my skin, hammering in my ears.

I hadn't really noticed it before but now, just being around Matty- especially when not entirely sober- was a somewhat difficult task for me to endure. The man was every sort of red flag rolled up into one being, the kind of person I knew I was better off just staying away from.

Because people like Matty tended to lure the likes of me in, with their charming smiles and cutting eyes.

The perfect sort of trap that left you helpless, stranded.

Right then, it almost seemed as though Matty had the power to read every insulant or incriminating thought that had ever crossed my mind. As though all of it was written as clear as day across my face.

Matty took a long drag of his cigarette and propped himself up against the wall beside me, a little too close for current comfort but I couldn't really find it in myself to pull back now.

"Seemed like you couldn't get away fast enough."

He said it so nonchalantly that I was a little unsure on how best to answer, whether Matty was honestly offended or not by my sudden departure. But before I could even think up a reply, Matty was already striving on.

"But, I can only imagine- must've been more than awkward to see the object you've been ignoring for, well fuck knows how long, standing right there. Within reach."

Matty turned his infamous grin on me then, but my breath had already been caught by the unbidden emotion in the man's eyes.

"I-" I tried but Matty merely shrugged me off, cigarette ash flailing as he did.

"Don't need an excuse, babe. I get it. I can be a bit much at times- clingy, I reckon’s the right word."

I choked a little on my next drag but immediately started to shake my head. "No, no- honestly, Matty. It wasn't like that."

Matty levelled me with an odd look, but said nothing more.

"Look, I promise. Alright? It’s just- I've had a lot on recently. Everything's been fucking stressing me out, more so than usual, and it's all just. Well, it's all just sort of gotten on top of me."

Knuckling the side of my eye in frustration, I tugged a hand through my hair, hating myself for the way I couldn't even seem to worm my way out of this one. For the dejected look that sat so blatantly on Matty's face.

"I am really not saying this right." I huffed out unhappily before I dropped my fag and stamped the remaining cherry out.

Matty merely snorted and I pressed my lips together to keep from biting and instead took a breath, turning to him.

"I'm sorry." Is what I apparently decided on, and felt almost as surprised as Matty looked when the words bypassed my lips. But in truth, I found that I really was sorry for making Matty feel as though he was to blame here. And for whatever other idiotic thing Matty might've told himself as to why I’d been acting like a right bitch lately.

Matty looked at me for a long pause, his hand stilled in midair between us, and I really wasn't very sure how to take the small smile that tugged at his lips a moment later.

"No need for apologies. Honestly. Well, only if you're planning to continue ignoring my messages after all this." Matty quipped and he laughed lightly when he caught my expression, blowing a cloud of smoke out of the side of his mouth.

I felt looser having heard his reply though, and tried for a smile.

"No. No, I wasn't planning on it."

"Good." Matty nodded and I really appreciated the way his face brightened when he did so. But I knew I’d never tell him. "Now! Are you going to buy me a drink for all of my troubles, or am I going to have to bribe that grumpy ginger mate of yours? Who’s even that sodding tall anyway?"

A startled laugh bubbled up from my chest and I couldn't for the life of me even think to decline the ask when Matty was looking at me like that, eyes shining under the streetlamp light, cheeky smile brightening his entire being.

"I'd like to see you try."

I quietly waited for Matty to finish the remnants of his cigarette before I followed the singer back inside, feeling the humidity of the cramped club pool over me the moment we bypassed the entrance.

Matty grabbed at my hand just as we slid by the highly intoxicated hen-do party who were crowding the doors. The action was done without merely a second thought, which wedged that heart of mine up into the walls of my throat and left me almost unaware as Matty continued to lead me through the rest of the crowd.

His fingers wrapped effortlessly around my own and I clung to them like an anchor to the ocean floor. Struggling greatly to suppress the bubbling urge to play with the large metal ring that adorned Matty’s index finger.

"Oi, I thought you'd left!" Came a booming voice from over my left shoulder, it resonated around us once Matty and I had finally reached the bar.

It was on impulse that I glanced over in its direction and gaped at the sudden appearance of Auley, who's blue eyes were keen but playful, taking the situation in. It was Matty though, who replied, face turned up into a cocky grin as he subtly observed the incoming target.

"It seems,” He said, “That Squeaks here cannot say no to the likes of me."

Matty’s fingers were still grasping mine, I noted then, and was merely grateful for the way the bar's dim yellow lights were able to cover up the faint blush that had crawled up my neck. That statement had only strengthened it though, it seemed. Because, in all honesty, it felt like more than just a partial truth.

The laughter that followed from Auley was brash and unavoidable, and he made sure to catch my gaze.

"Ah, I see!" Auley winked at me as he went to grab at the large tray of drinks the barman passed him. "Must be those devilishly good looks of yours, mate."

I hated feeling so wrong-footed so I shot back, "Or, maybe his charm."

Auley smirked just as I ducked my head. "I'll let everyone know you're stickin' around then, Mouse. Join us, yeah?"

Before I could dissuade him, to rewrite the picture he’d decided on in his head, the tall ginger had already dived back into the crowd, his head bobbing along to the song playing overhead as he sailed his way through. Everyone back at the table would know that I’d stuck around soon enough.

"What're you drinking then?"

Blinking, I spun back to face Matty and found a busty barmaid waiting on his reply. She was a pretty thing, propped up against the sleek counter, lips quirked high enough to contradict her sultry eyes.

"Uh," I fumbled slightly before I simply shrugged, "Whatever you're having is fine."

Matty smiled, teeth glinting with the extremity of it, then leant in closer to order, close enough to the barmaid that I struggled to hear their exchange.

The woman flashed him a flirty smile before she finally slipped away, leaving me alone with the likes of Matty once again. I couldn’t for the life of me decide on how I felt about that.

"You been out long then?" I asked as a way of conversation, eyes flitting around the rest of the room, my voice raised just enough to be heard over the music.

"Depends on who you're asking."

My forehead pinched at that, and so Matty laughed.

"Jamie doesn't know I'm out."

I gave a slow nod. "Right. But won't he find out though? You know, come morning, when your mug's plastered all over Twitter and The Times."

Matty’s smile soured ever so slightly at that but he still chirped right back, pressing further into my space, arm brushing mine. “That’s the fun of it, Squeaks. Gotta live a little, yeah?”

The barmaid came wading back over before I could over-analyse his response, settling down an expensive bottle of Belvedere alongside two glasses. "Hope you enjoy it."

Matty dipped his chin at her, one side of his mouth tugging its way up before he hip-checked me into motion.

"Come on then, lead the way!"

Strobe lights danced in his peripheral vision, blinding and eccentric enough to cast shadows and beams out over the room. The bass of the current song being played overhead resonated deep within his chest, thudding alongside his erratic heartbeat. But Matty couldn't seem to concentrate on any of that, not when the girl swaying beside him stood so close, a breath away.

"DJ tonight is really going for it!" She declared as she tossed her head back carelessly, laughing up at the ceiling.

Matty couldn’t find it in him to reply, too busy staring. Mouth agape as his eyes raked over the length of her body. The moisture that clung to the line of her throat, the way that the shorter hairs that framed her face curled in the humidity, how her body just moved. As though she didn't even have to try. Like she was just dancing to dance, not caring who was watching.

Briefly, Matty wondered how hot she must have felt wrapped up in that tight leather jacket of hers, but couldn't for the life of him bring himself to ask. Not when she looked so carefree, so buoyant. Plus, the leather only added to the image Matty had honed in on.

She was grinning still, almost madly now, when she turned her head to catch his keen gaze. She leant in close, so close that Matty could breathe in the scent of her all too easily, the same sweet fragrance that surrounded her constantly and had been filling up his head for days since he’d first smelt it.

"Listen to this riff coming up! Just after the bridge." She instructed him, bright eyes hidden behind drooping lids as her lips brushed against the shell of Matty’s ear.

He forced back a shiver at the feeling and tried his very hardest to follow the order, straining to focus on the song instead of the girl’s proximity.

She continued to bop her head languidly and her eyes finally fell completely shut just as a guitar sounded. The chords of it flowed so fluently, edging closer and closer towards a finale.

She looked so serene whilst she listened, so carefree. As though the only language she'd ever been able to truly understand was the sound of music.

They fell into rhythm without even thinking, the two of them, he dropped his head against her neck so that his hips could sway with hers, a drink loosely gripped between the pads of his fingers. And she seemingly allowed it, even as they stood in a crowd so full of onlooking people.

It was strange though. All of his thoughts were centred around her, the way she moved, the rise and fall of her chest. The three freckles perched on the bone of her collar. But just as that realisation settled in and they continued to dance, Matty felt the sudden sensation of air forcing its way back into his lungs. The action was so apparently clear that he realised, momentarily, that he'd forgotten just how imperative it was to simply breathe.

He wasn't sure whether it was down to the alcohol, or something other, but he revelled in the sharp chill of it, the rushing of his blood. The way it made him dizzy with adrenaline. It was akin to something he hadn’t felt in a long while.

"Mouse."

I hummed noncommittally in response, not paying the voice behind me much mind as I approached the bar again. Matty wanted something fizzy this time around and I didn’t mind sharing.

"Mouse!" It came again, louder.

The crowd seemed to have tripled in the short time it had taken me to weave my way off of the dance floor, it was buzzing now, hands and faces and drinks everywhere. My gaze flickered back over my shoulder momentarily to see if I could still make Matty out in the heaving mass, just so that I could reassure him that I'd soon be back, that I was already at the bar.

"Mouse!" There it was again, that voice, only this time it was accompanied by a grabbing hand.

I startled at the sensation and whipped around, frowning when I saw it was Ronan standing there, my confused gaze now peering up into his storming blue. I shrugged the hand off, then rubbed at the wrist it had seized.

"That'll leave a bruise." I mumbled with a pinched expression.

Ronan's lips only thinned as he stared down at me, not saying a word.

I huffed unhappily, "What did you want, Ro?"

Ronan’s sharp scoff cut through the noise, sounding as though I should have already known the answer to that one. "You're bladdered." He practically spat.

"Thanks for the insight, Sherlock." I countered with a mocking salute, and went to turn away again but there was that hand.

"Jesus, Ronan! Can't I just enjoy a night out? Thought you'd be the first person to egg me on!" I found myself exclaiming, only growing annoyed by the unnecessary exchange, by his rough touch.

I saw his jaw tick, the muscles work beneath the grit of his teeth, and instinctively took a deep breath.

With an exaggerated sniff, Ronan cut his eyes at me again, and even in my drunken haze, I knew that I’d made a mistake somewhere.

"Look, I'm sorry." I tried to backpedal, pulse quickening, "I'm just a little tipsy. Didn't mean to go off on you like that."

"Save it." Ronan grunted out, his hand grabbing at my arm once again, this time it was a lot harsher, heavier. So much so that I couldn't hide my wince, nor the sharp inhale. "We're leavin'."

My tongue fell slack as I attempted to swallow the weighty feeling in my throat, sobering up quickly just as Ronan began to tug me through the hordes of bustling clubbers.

It had been a long while since I had first walked away from the redhead. A drunken one night stand which had progressed into a recurring bad habit during my last year at uni, when I'd still been struggling to wrap my head around everything. Fighting back and forth with the idea of being with somebody, of allowing them to see me completely. Of learning how to trust.

In truth, I’d been at my lowest, and the first few times Ronan and I had slept together, I wasn't so sure that I'd been able to walk, much less jump into bed with someone I considered a mate, when I woke up the next morning.

But I had brushed it aside, figuring that my inebriated mind had only gone after what my sober self had tried its best not to want.

I couldn't really recall the many people I'd got with during that odd period of time, I honestly hadn't wanted to remember much. But Ronan had been mixed in with a throng of others- bartenders, waiters, boys from my classes. And somewhere amongst them all, there had also been Teddy's dad. But the redhead had been a constant. Somewhat of a regular seeing as though I’d had a tiny crush on him way back when.

Then Teddy had obviously come along and I’d been forced to face the facts.

Ronan, as grand as he could often be, was jealous as the best of times, and sadistic at the worst. He didn't much like to share and the man tended to swing towards the belief that the people he had in and out of his bed were his to keep.

And I wasn't demented enough to think that I'd deserved the treatment, but no one else had noticed back then, no one else could have understood. Then with the arrival of Teddy, Ronan hadn't been much interested in the likes of me anymore. And although I'd been adamant that we’d remain friends, I really hadn't seen much of anyone after leaving uni. And I’d been more than content with that fact for a long while now.

In a panicked breath, I fought for my mind to catch up with the rest of me just as I tore my arm from Ronan’s overbearing grip, causing me to stumble backwards into a large group gathered around a tall table.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Came Ronan's heated voice, it was all that I could really focus on as I struggled to continue backwards, desperate to get away but not wanting to cause a scene. I whispered apologies under my breath without even thinking, tripping over my own feet in my haste.

"Mouse!"

The redhead was hot on my tail though, calling out to me again and again as he forced his way through the overlapping crowd that bustled between us.

I continued with my sorry’s, murmuring to the people around me as I started to shove and push.

But I had been so focused on the voice coming towards me that I’d all but jumped right out of my skin when I heard my name echo in my ear. A quick flash and hands were settling themselves on my shoulders to still me.

Impulsively, I jolted away, springing around to meet Alice's wide eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Alice. Alice, where's-" I struggled to get enough oxygen into my lungs as I fumbled for words, any words. The blinding fear and panic I should've been feeling only moments ago convulsed through me now like a tornado ripping effortlessly through a city.

"Mouse!"

Was that Ronan again?

My head throbbed with the thought, desperate now.

"Please, Alice."

I could feel the shortness of my breaths as they came out in huffs, my startled eyes flickering every which way as I searched for a way out. An escape.

"Mouse, what's happened? Mouse?" And oh, did I wish that she'd stop saying my name. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to catch a sight of familiar red.

Alice was hesitant to get any closer now after how I'd so violently flinched, but even through the foggy panic I felt I could see her evident worry.

"Mouse! Alice!"

I watched as Alice's troubled gaze trailed somewhere over my left shoulder, to a space just behind me, and I couldn't help the aggressive way I started to shake my head. Hoping she’d somehow understand. I was overreacting sure, but trembling so hard it almost hurt. It should’ve hurt, I thought.

"Matty." Was the first word that spewed out of my mouth, and I started repeating it like a prayer as I felt the walls of the bar begin to close in. And so, a more than concerned Alice nodded hurriedly at me before she cautiously draped an arm around my waist and started to lead me away.

I was almost certain that Ronan was still calling out, but I couldn't quite hear his voice anymore over the pounding in my ears and so I tried to focus on where we were going. I thought Alice was talking, too. But her voice was so gentle that I struggled to read her lips.

People were flashing by and I noticed a familiar face pass us by then, but they looked far too alarmed and hurried on without a greeting smile, their arms stretched outwards to catch something behind us.

Alice stumbled on, only sparing a single glance backwards as she veered me out from the overwhelming crowd.

I could honestly think a little clearer now, eyes shuttered, flickering back and forth between everyone and everything. Though it all still felt too much.

"Just up here, okay, lovie?" Alice murmured, her presence soothing, safe.

I licked at my lower lip and dipped my head in acknowledgment. "Sorry." I replied breathlessly, voice faint.

Alice blinked at me owlishly and then frowned, before she then squeezed me closer to her side. "Had me worried there, babe, but you don't have to apologise. No need, alright?"

Before I could even think up a response, Alice was speaking again- only, not to me. I dragged my head back up upon hearing a familiar lilt and was bombarded with the sight of a staggered looking Matty. The bright smile he'd been wearing upon our arrival had been wiped away the second he’d gotten one good look at my face.

"What the hell happened to you?"

The question made me think and my forehead furrowed at the sound of the unknown voice. I peered around slightly to find another man seated right beside Matty, he was of a similar build and with hair just as dark. Matty, who had jumped up to meet Alice and I as we drew closer to the booth, reached out for me.

The expression he wore confused me to no end but I couldn't question it, not when Alice was already handing me over to him, albeit with a bit of hesitancy.

"Is she okay?" Matty asked her briskly, his eyes never once leaving mine. I’d never seen them go so wide.

"She honestly came out of nowhere, practically on the verge of a panic attack and looking as though she'd just seen a ghost." Alice explained wearily, whilst Matty ushered me into the nearest seat. His seat.

He jerked his head at the man sitting opposite as he slid in after me, "Go get us some water, will you!"

The man, put on the spot, looked both alarmed and perplexed at the sudden order, but nodded at Matty all the same before he ducked quickly out of the booth.

"Who-" But my inquiry was cut off.

"Danny, mate of mine. Ignore him." Matty answered, somehow already knowing my question, as a careful hand came up to cup my chin, it guided my face closer so that I could get a better look at him. As gentle as Matty was whilst handling me though, I could see the venomous anger in his eyes, the emotions that warred there. "Who was it?"

I blinked slowly but didn’t look away. "What d’you mean?"

He inhaled slowly, so calm it would’ve been intriguing any other time. "It's obvious that something happened, Squeaks. So who was it?"

Squeaks. Squeaks. Squeaks.

I focused on the way my name curled around Matty’s soft spoken tongue.

"Babe." Matty tried to regain my attention and I felt a soft hand tap my shoulder before it dropped itself. "I can't make you tell me what happened but I want to know who to avoid when I try to get you out of here. You hearin’ me?"

I gaped slightly before hurrying to shake my head in return.

"No, no, it's fine, Matty. Honestly. I didn't, I didn’t mean to scare everyone. I'll be fine. I’m okay."

He levelled me with a look, and for some reason it made me feel as though we were the only two people in the room.

"Please don't lie to me. Not right now."

Was what Matty came out with, his voice so steady that I truly did wonder whether he'd actually had a drop of alcohol tonight.

"I was raised by liars, can't stand lies." He added and I swallowed thickly.

Matty just sighed.

"Look, I can probably get us out the back door, alright? I'll get Danny to deal with anyone else." He told me, but only continued to ramble on as he pulled his mobile out from his front pocket, and then he was rambling down the phone to somebody else.

I watched him all the while, still a little dazed from the blinding panic I’d just felt and the idea of Ronan still not being too far. My eyes wouldn’t leave Matty though, even with those thoughts, even though my body craved to search him out, to see if he was near. Head screaming with the intensity of it.

Matty gave me a tiny smile when he hung up and his hand came to rest over my forearm, a vast contradiction to the harsh grip I’d felt there earlier.

"I've got a car waiting outside, you okay with me dropping you home?"

My mum had always claimed I’d been far too proud, hated having other people take care of me, hated them doing the things I could easily do myself. But at that moment all I wanted was my bed. Was to be home.

And so, taking a big leap, I jerked my head in a quick nod, if anyone could even call it that, and it felt like Matty understood just how much power I was giving up then when the man slid out of the booth and offered up a hand.

Still, I took it.

115 notes · View notes

lucy90712 · 5 months

Note

heyy, can u make one about reader meeting gavi's family for the first time and they being kind of rude to her (worrying about her being an attention seeker), but then he talks to them and in the end it's just fluff? <3

WC: 2.9k It's finally the day I've been worried about for the last 6 months. Today I'm finally going to meet my boyfriend Pablo's parents. We have been together for 6 nearly 7 months now which have been the best months of my life, Pablo is the nicest guy I've ever met and the best boyfriend somehow he just gets me which I think is how we get along so well. Although we've been together for a little while now I haven't met Pablo's parents as they still live back in Sevilla and he doesn't get to go back there often. There has been times that his parents have come to Barcelona but things just haven't worked out in terms of me meeting them but today that changes. Pablo has a few free days and so do I so he suggested we go on a road trip back to his hometown to visit his parents and I just couldn't say no.

I have been nervous for this day since Pablo and I started dating but now that's it's been put off for so long I'm even more nervous than I was before. The reason I'm so nervous is because I'm not stupid I know how many girls are interested in Pablo and a lot of them for the wrong reasons and I'm petrified that his parents are going to think I'm one of those girls. I truly love Pablo and I see myself being with him for the rest of my life and I just want that to come across when I meet his parents. My biggest problem is I'm quite shy which means I get quite awkward when meeting new people and I don't want my awkwardness to make his parents think I'm not serious about my relationship with him.

I stayed over at Pablo's place last night so we could get up early and start the drive whenever we were ready. All night he slept peacefully holding onto my waist while I laid awake thinking about all the ways having dinner with Pablo's parents tonight could go wrong which has only made me more nervous than I was before. Just as I got myself into another spiral Pablo's alarm went off and I felt him start to stir besides me until he was awake enough to turn off the alarm. As soon as the alarm was turned off Pablo grabbed my waist and turned me to face him before pressing gentle kisses all over my face which ended with a passionate kiss on my lips. Once he was finished giving me my morning kisses he properly opened his eyes and looked at me which made his smile drop slightly. I have been trying to hide my nerves from Pablo as I know he's excited to see his parents and I don't want to ruin that with my anxiety.

"What's on your mind amor?" He asked pulling me closer if that was even possible

"I'm just a bit nervous about meeting your parents that's all don't worry about me" I said holding back the full truth

"You don't need to be nervous amor I know they will love you because I do plus how can anyone not love you" he said

"Thank you Pablo that makes me feel a bit better" I said

"I get why you're nervous I was nervous meeting or parents but if I can survive so can you because you have much more going for you in terms of impressing parents" he laughed

"I'm no successful footballer though Pabs" I joked

"No but you are in university getting a degree in an area I don't understand and not to mention you have a scholarship for being so smart my mum will love that" he said sincerely

I so desperately want to believe Pablo but I just have a bad feeling about tonight which is so stupid as I'm sure it will all be fine but I can't shake that awful feeling.

From the minute Pablo and I got out of bed we just didn't stop between getting ready and packing I had no time to think even for a second until we got in the car and even then I only had a minute when I was sat on my own before Pablo got in the car and we started the long drive. I was in charge of music for the first stint of the drive and I took that very seriously so while talking to Pablo I was curating the perfect playlist which I think is one of my skills although it's not useful in many situations. For the first few hours of the drive Pablo kept me talking and laughing so I wasn't thinking about tonight and then we stopped and I started driving which meant I had other things to concentrate on which was good for me.

It took us a long time but eventually we made it to Pablo's home town and to the hotel we are staying at this weekend. Pablo's parents offered to let us stay in his old room but he declined as he didn't want to overwhelm me with meeting his parents and staying with them all at once which I really appreciated. Once we checked in both of us got changed and freshened up as we'd been in the car for a while and I didn't want to look gross when meeting his parents for the first time. When I was ready I stood by the door to the room waiting for Pablo to get his shoes on completely in my own world until I felt Pablo take hold of both of my hands which made me realise that I was picking at the skin on my fingers which I do when I’m nervous. Pablo didn't say anything he simply just kissed my hands and led me out of the room and back to the car to do the short drive to his parents place.

When we arrived I held onto Pablo's hand tightly as he rang the doorbell but as soon as the door was opened he let go of my hand and hugged both of his parents. He then introduced me to them both and I hugged them too but something felt off but I put that down to this being the first time we've met. They welcomed us in and we all sat down together to get to know each other before we have dinner. For a few minutes they were mostly talking to Pablo which helped me settle my nerves a little but then I quickly became the subject of conversation.

"So y/n Pablo tells us that you are studying sport science at university" Pablo's mum said

"Yes I am I have always been interested in the topic so when I was offered a scholarship to the best university in the city I had to take it" I said

"Well that's pretty impressive it must be hard work though" she said

"It is but I love it so it makes it all worth it" I said

"I imagine you don't have time for much else like work" his dad added

"I don't have much free time no but with my scholarship I'm able to use the money from my student loan to keep me alive plus I share an apartment with a few friends so that helps with costs" I explained

"How much time do you have to spend with Pablo?" His mum interrogated

"I spend as much of my free time with him as possible sometimes he lets me study at his place so we can spend some time together and I always make time for home games so I can watch him play" I answered

The interrogation didn't stop there. They kept asking me questions about money and Pablo's success. The way they were asking made it seem like they were just interested in getting to know me but I'm not stupid I could easily tell they were trying to find out if I was using their son and were just waiting for me to slip up so they could tell him to break up with me. This is exactly what I was worried about happening because I just know that if they tell Pablo I'm no good he will break things off as he said that's what happened with his last girlfriend although she was definitely after his money. The worst part of it all is that Pablo doesn't see what they're doing he's just sat next to me smiling while I get interrogated like I've committed a crime.

Luckily for me it soon became time for dinner and I was able to excuse myself for a minute to go to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom I heard Pablo's parents talking in the kitchen and to start with I told myself I shouldn't listen but I couldn't help myself I had to stand in the entrance to the bathroom for a minute. As soon as I did I wish I didn't as all I heard them talking about was how they thought I was clearly using Pablo for money to help me get through uni which just isn't true I'm more than ok on my own and I've never taken any money from him. Next they said that I must like the fame and attention because I always go to the games but little do they know I always buy my tickets and sit with all the other fans because I don't want anyone to know that I'm Pablo's girlfriend. The fact that they thought so little of me and were happy to talk about me behind my back really upset me as I tried my hardest to answer their questions honestly and settle their worries but clearly they had an idea of what I'd be like and they can't get past that.

Once I went into the bathroom it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Pablo's parents hate me which means he's going to break up with me and I don't think I could deal with that. Pablo is always there for me supporting me when I'm feeling overwhelmed and encouraging me when things don't go how I expect and I just don't know how I'd ever live without that support from him. I tried my best to hold back the tears that were brimming in my eyes but I just couldn't the thought of losing Pablo because his parents got the wrong impression was just too much. Once I started crying I just couldn't stop as all the emotions from the past week made their way to the surface.

Seeing as I had tears and mascara streaming down my face I knew I couldn't stay plus I didn't want to face Pablo's parents again knowing what they think of me. I tried wiping the mascara off my face as I left the bathroom to go and find Pablo to ask if he would go back to the hotel. I didn't expect him to be in the kitchen just across the hallway so I didn't have as much time to get myself together a I thought I would as he looked over at me and instantly came rushing over.

"Amor whats wrong?" He asked

"Nothing I- just- can we please go back to the hotel" I stuttered

"What's happened I can’t help if you don't tell me" he said

"I just don't feel well I'm sorry" I lied

"Don't lie amor please just tell me what happened then we can go if you want" he said

"Fine I heard your parents talking as I went into the bathroom and they were saying that I'm only with you for money and fame but I promise that's not true I really do love you a lot please don't break up with me" I rambled

"What did they say?" He questioned

"They said I'm only with you to get money to help me through uni and that I'm just interested in your fame" I repeated

He didn't say anything else he simply just pressed a kiss to my head before walking straight out to his parents who were sat waiting at the dining table. That only made me more anxious because if I made a bad impression before making their son yell at them certainly isn't going to do me any favours. I wanted to stop Pablo before it was too late but for some reason I just couldn't move my feet they were stuck in place and I was just a passenger in the whole situation. As it turns out my bad feeling that I couldn't shake wasn't just me being anxious I was right it think that everything would go wrong as so far it's gone as bad as I imagined it would if not worse.

To start with I was so panicked that I couldn't hear anything Pablo was saying to his parents but I managed to calm myself down enough to be able to make out what he was saying. It was easy to tell that he was really mad which made me feel so awful because this is all my fault. He wasn't yelling at least not quite but he was definitely stern in telling his parents what he thought. He was telling them that they shouldn't have let the actions of his previous girlfriends affect their perception of me and that they were wrong about me as I'm completely different to all the girls he's been with before. It was so nice to hear him stick up for me as my last boyfriend would let anyone would say anything about me and not care so it felt good to know he was willing to stand in my corner even against his parents.

Eventually their conversation came to and end and Pablo came back over to give me a super tight hug which is exactly what I needed after the last few hours of stress. He asked me if I was willing to stay for a bit longer and talk with his parents again and I just couldn't say no as I really do want to have a good relationship with them. That being said I was really nervous as we went and sat back in the living room but Pablo squeezed my hand to reassure me that everything would be ok.

"First of all we both want to apologise to you y/n we shouldn't have judged you before we had even met you and interrogating you like we did was wrong too" his mum apologised

"We want to get to know you properly and we know tonight is probably the wrong time for that but we don't want you to think that we aren't willing to do this over again and forget about everything that's happened so far" his dad added

"Thank you I want to apologise too I didn't mean for tonight to turn out like this I just wanted to show you that I really love your son and I'm not here to take advantage of him in any way" I said

"We know that and after seeing how upset you were and how Pablo stood up for you we realised that your relationship is clearly very genuine" his dad said

"And you are a lovely girl who we would love to have join the family so we hope we can hope start over again another day" his mum said

"I'd be more than happy to do that" I said

A few more things were said before Pablo and I left as everyone wanted to start fresh again another day. I felt a bit bad still as Pablo had been so excited about tonight and seeing his parents but I ruined it and now we are leaving early. Really I shouldn't think like that but I can't help but feel a bit guilty for ruining dinner as I could've just said nothing until we got back to the hotel but I can't change that now.

When we got back to the hotel Pablo flopped straight onto the bed and opened his arms for me which after the day we've had I just couldn't resist. He held me tightly and stroked my back which really helped calm the last of my anxiety which was still built up in my body. Being back in his arms after a long stressful day is just what I needed as he's the only one that always knows how I'm feeling and how to help me.

"I'm sorry for the way tonight turned about but thank you for giving my parents a second chance they really do mean well and I'm promise that next time they really will love you" he said breaking the silence

"It's ok I get it I understand why they are so protective over you I just want to show them that I really love you because I do I don't care about your fame or money I care about you" I said

"Believe me amor I know that and my parents will see it too as long as it's ok with you I was thinking we could all meet for lunch tomorrow and start over" he said

"Thats ok with me I get to have a second go at a first impression" I joked

"Well practice makes perfect" he laughed

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi #football imagine #pablo gavi imagines

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howlonomy · 30 days

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Here's the last* of my art ideas right now!

I thought that, since Clover only has 20 HP, they'd probably not have really good defense (but given that they have a Boss Monster-like SOUL, maybe I'm wrong) so I gave them every single piece of armor in the game*! So they now have a DEF stat of 64 and heal 2 HP every turn, which will definitely help them to survive

Warning: I did not include the Patch as that gives 0 defense or the secret Band Pin because I have no idea what it would look like/where it goes as I have never gotten it myself

Also, yes, the Safety Goggles (which I know are actually science safety goggles) are the ones Star gave them during the dual, don't ask how they found them again after their boat funeral, and the Stray Feather is one of their own (I'm assuming it'd come from one of their wings or a random downy feather that just sort of. appeared on them)

Anyways, this was SUPPOSED to be the last one, but I see you have finished the Feisty Four, meaning I got two more ideas! Woohoo! I even had a whole thing prepared for this being the last one, but alas I suppose it must wait until the FF have been finished

Just noticed the goggles' shine is red instead of white, don't know how that happened, might be the transparency of it mixed with Clover's fur and it is actually white or I just somehow accidentally made it red, oh well

PLEAASEE THIS IS SO CUTE??? CLOVER WITH THE GOGGLES AUSGHKA DRESSED FOR SUCCESS (not tripping and dying instantly)

they are SO protected its like wrapping ur kid in bubble wrap… they are ready to take on the world now +50 def

#asked and answered #monster clover au #monster clover fanart #HEHE THEYRE SK ASORABLE I FORGOT AB THE SAFTEY GOGGLES #i think they should wear them more #its like a little souvenir in their room :]

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mayohaha · 16 days

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Dunmeshi Fic

Laios's Bride

Couple : Laios x Kabru, slight Fallyn x Marcille

Warning (???) : Bi-Kabru, Moron Laios, NSFW 🔞

Premise : After Laios becomes the King of Melini, everyone is starting to wonder if Laios would ever marry anyone, well... will he?

P.S : I write this for my own consumption... i just need this.

Yaad (in Delgal's body) been trying so hard to push Laios to have a Bride as he said "You should have an heir to proceed the succession!" Or so he said. Despite so, everyone (except Laios) knows it's because of Laios's curse that Yaad keeps asking him to have an heir. Despite so Marcille was unsure whether Laios's curse would be inherited by his heir. This has cause Kabru to fear over Laios as his right man.

Laios, on the other hand, has been wondering about who would be his bride. It doesn't seem possible to find one for him. He did have a lover back then, but his feelings towards the person isn't even that... passionate -nor romantic enough. He also thinks about who would ever fall for him. After the demon shows him his desire to be accepted, he realizes it would be almost impossible for him to find a lover knowing people hardly understand him.

On his bed, he's lying over while daydreaming about having a bride. He is trying to portray a beautiful red hair women, but it ended up reminding him of his mom. He tried harder to find someone else, he remembered the succubi form of Marcille -but instead of that, he was too focused on the monster looks instead...

"Ugh!!! It would be easier if I'm not a King! Kabru fits this role more!!!" Laios scream within his frustration.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Brother?"

"Oh Fallyn! Yes, come inside!" shout Laios.

Fallyn opened the door and looked at her brother, looking quite messy after he got frustrated.

"I heard you screaming from outside. Did something happen?"

"Oh... uh... I'll be alright, sorry to bother you."

Fallyn sat beside him and start to pat her brother head softly.

"Marcille told me that Yaad has been quite pushy about you having an heir. She said that you might get frustrated over it. Kabru also started to get worried that it might make more problems to Melini."

Laios's face becomes paler. It does frustrate him. However, it's not like he doesn't want to have a bride and an heir. His self-esteem says that he doesn't deserve any of that. Looking at this, his little sister hugged him tight.

"No need to think too much brother, you'll find someone to love, who loves you too someday."

Fallyn coughed a bit, then she proceeded with her speech.

"-I didn't know mine too at first, till I was being told by Chillchuck that Marcille is in love with me. I just realized that she loves me that much after listening to your journey. After she confessed her jealousy and her broken heart after I tried to consider Shuro's proposal, we ended up being together."

Fallyn flustered thinking over that memory. Laios's is truly happy knowing that his sister finds someone who loves her sincerely.

"It seems impossible for me, though. But maybe -maybe I'll find one like you do Fallyn. I'm so happy for you."

Both of them are smiling to one another.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Laios, are you there?"

BAAAAAAAAAMMMM

A male voice came from outside the door. He then smashed to get inside without even waiting for Laios to answer.

"O-oh sorry, I didn't know you're talking to Fallyn."

"Ah, it's fine, I'm preparing myself to sleep anyway." said Fallyn softly.

Fallyn kiss her brother's head.

"Well brother, take your time okay."

Laios nodded to Fallyn and waved to her as she went out.

The male who smashed the door is his right hand, Kabru, he looked somehow a bit... frustrated? But, mixed with some worries. He goes inside and grabs a seat next to Laios's bed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your talk with Fallyn -it's just I think we really need to talk."

"Ah yeah, it's alright... But, what bothers you Kabru?"

Kabru was messing his hair as Laios's asked that.

"Yaad's demand about your heir... do you have any idea on facing that?"

Laios shakes his head while looking sad. Kabru realized it's hard for him as well.

"Well, Marcille said that the chance that your heir would inherit your curse might be low as well. I don't think you need to think much about that haha!"

Laios's didn't bother Kabru's statement about that. His head seems to worry over something else instead.

"I don't even think someone would love me like that you know..."

His voice sounds desperate, but Kabru can't think about anyone either, not even Chillchuck's daughters, the orcs, nor any maiden would want to be Laios's bride if they know how Laios is. He is unable to see Laios's desperation being put on his face, though.

"Laios, you're the brave King who faced the demon and bring the glory to Melini! There must be someone who would love to be your bride!"

Laios suddenly stare Kabru with his dark eyes.

"Who? Who would it be? Not even you would love me like that."

"H-huh?!" Kabru flustered hearing Laios's words.

M-me?! Does he love me this whole time?! W-wait, did he chose me because he loves me? It doesn't make sense!!! Or is it?

Kabru tried to regain himself. Laios, on the other hand, looking down to his hand in front of him. Kabru then put his hand on top of Laios's.

"Do you think I would fit to be your bride?"

Laios was struck by that question. He didn't ever think about whether it's possible or not, but if it is, Kabru is the best bride he could ever asked. Someone who has the charm and being loved by Melini, also the best person who understands him. What a big win!

"OF COURSE!!! YOU'LL BE THE BEST BRIDE I COULD EVER ASKED!!!"

Laios impulsively made such answer.

Kabru struck off. He is beyond flustered. His whole face is red, thankfully his dark skin hides it, but he couldn't even think. How come someone like Laios managed to get this side of him? But, does Laios even love him?

He is regaining himself again, clearing his throat and start to talk again.

"Uh well... well then, say... can you even think to sleep with me?"

"Sleep with you? Well, sure! You can sleep here with me." Laios patting his bed.

Laios's face is like the golden haired dog looking moron and excited in the same time. Kabru still trying to hold his flustered. He then slide beside Laios, as Laios gave him a place to fit on his bed. It was a bit awkward for them at first, but Laios seems to fit in quite well. He's still smiling like a dog, and Kabru can't help to giggle.

Kabru embrace Laios's face, making him facing his. He get closer and put his nose on Laios's. He can feels Laios's breath. Then he whisper towards him.

"Can I kiss my King then?"

Laios flustered -can't think, he nodded and letting Kabru giving him a kiss.

It was tense, a bit cold... but then it changed. Tender, soft, and a glimpse of sweetness can be tasted. He grasps for some air, and dig in for more.

Kabru didn't let go either, he is eager. He took more, not letting Laios to take a break. Changing his position -he didn't let Laios to stop kissing him. He is now sitting on Laios lap, holding his head, craving more of his lips. All he can think about is how big Laios is, and how small he is. How muscular Laios is, and how thin he is. Yet, how Laios holding his back gently, scared to hurt him while he is eating Laios alive. It was so heaty, and none of them is stopping.

The kiss took much longer than Laios expected. He had never had this kind of burning sensation before. Kabru stopped and grasped for air as Laios gasped.

Laios eyes has become that puppy eyes. Asking to be loved, and not being let go. Kabru melts into his eyes.

It's not the first time he felt this way to him. Remembering the time when they met again after Laios fought the demon. His desperation that time when he feels that he has failed. That moment his eyes asking to be loved, the same like how his eyes look right now. Kabru just can't let go.

Laios tried to talk, but his word stuck on his mouth. Kabru came in again to peck his lips. Holding his head, then putting his head to Laios's.

"Say, how does it feel?"

Laios gulped.

"Hot..."

Kabru giggles after hearing what Laios said. Didn't realize that a hard bump touches his crotch.

"O-oh..."

"A-AH!" Laios screamed.

Kabru put his on his mouth, preventing him to make further noise.

"S-ssht... it's alright, I'll take care of it."

Laios jolted as Kabru changed their position. He asked Laios to sit on his bed edge, then opened his pants, and slid off his undies. Laios's lower head sprung off, and already quite hard. Laios kept jolting, but he tried hard not to make any noise.

Kabru started to slide his hand up and down while Laios whimpered. Laios got wet easily, since his pre-cum didn't take long. He is so erected that he hardly able to hold anything much longer.

Kabru took the opportunity to suck it and make it even more drenched. Laios tried as hard as he can not to cum on Kabru's face.

"S-stop it, I need to cum."

Kabru made the last suck deeply, then stopped as Laios quickly cummed while his body squirmed. He made quite a mess on Kabru's shirt.

"A-aahhh!! I don't mean to-"

Kabru just smiled. He licked a bit of it to tease him, and then he stood up. He took the napkin on the nearest table. Swiped the liquid from himself, and clean Laios's.

Laios just stand still while still squirming. Once it's done, Kabru throws the napkin away, and he slides into Laios's side to sleep with him.

"Am I good enough to be your bride Laios?"

Laios nodded so hard.

Kabru just giggles after watching him like that. He snuck into Laios's chest, and Laios adjust his hand to cuddle him.

"I can grow my love to you into such love."

He gazed into Laios's eyes.

"The kind of love your bride would love you."

Laios's face became so red. His eyes hardly focus on Kabru's. Kabru embraced his face one more time and gave him a short sweet kiss.

Laios pushed himself to say words.

"I-I would love you... as my lover."

Kabru smiled, listening to that. He started to close his eyes. Laios joins afterward and sleeps while cuddling his beloved one.

Well, it seems that an heir would be another problem, but for now, Laios is fulfilled with the bride he gets.

#dunmeshi #labru #laios touden #kabru #laios is a moron #charming kabru #one-shots #i guess?#fanfic #dungeon meshi #kabru x laios

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bbgliker-teehee · 4 months

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This might sound like an unpopular opinion of mine but... Is it just me or is Fizzarolli becoming an annoying character to me now. Like before season 2, I used to like him and I found the conflict between Blitzo and him really interesting and I wanted to learn more about it despite me not liking the show at the time (I mean I still do, but you know what I mean)

But when season 2 came along, I was left with a sour mouth when it comes to Fizz, and his conflict with Blitzo. Fizzarolli became from what season 1 gave us, he gained the most success and he felt proud of it, didn't care of the others feelings when insulting them, and was basically an asshole that rubs the success and Blitzos face and was the first one to genuinely get on Blitzos nerves (even have implications of Blitzo being jealous towards Fizz because he hoggled the spotlight more than him) but when season 2 came along, he just now resorted to being a huge scared puppy that shakes in his boots when someone insults him/threatens him. Like what happened to season 1 Fizz? What happened to the overly cocky and sassy asshole of a gremlin he was, can we bring that one and Season 1 Asmodeus back please?

And his conflict with blitzo and how it was executed, OH BOY. He gave him the most guilt-tripping ass apology, downplayed his disability just because HE REALLY MISSES MOM SO MUUCH, FEEL BAD FOR HIM HE'S JUST A MISUNDERSTOOD LIL BABY DEMON, like fuck off man. That episode didn't make me feel bad for the guy, it made me hate him even more.

And when in the end when they reconciled and shit, I was over here asking "Why bother building this rivalry up, when you're jist make them reconcile faster than the flash himself then?" Like, they should've just enemies imho, because that was more interesting than them being friends again.

I'm suprised that noone even brought this up too, but... This one piece of dialogue of Mammons shitty special I had to restrain myself from yelling at my screen. My god did I wanted to choke him to death when he says this:

OKAAAY, so not only did Blitzo give a guilt-tripping ass apology ever and they became friends again because of that shitty apology, instead of him comforting Fizz in this very moment, he resorts to saying THIS to Fizz when it's clearly shown that Fizz does not feel okay right now and looked he needed some comforting, and then Blitzo going back to square one and bullying someone when they're not feeling in the mood for it. Yeah good friend Blitzo, am i right? Fuck you Blitzo, genuinely like go die in a hole along with Loona & Stolas....

I'll probably be the only to say that BlitzFizz sucks, not a big fan of it because it felt like they just made Blitzo have a crush on Fizz to make him more sympathetic, yet they should've made them more like brotherly type of dynamic, to me that is idk about you.

Sorry for this essay like ask btw, just really wanted to get this out of my chest somehow. God watching these characters exist is hard man...

SAMMMEEEEE like- I think Fizz was a cool character, but since we can't have anything nice...Viv made him 'baby uwu'...

And Blitz whole ass apology was literally:

"Hey, I know you lost your legs and arms and you got all deformed and shit...BUT MY MOMMY DIED SO PWEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And yeah...I want my super swag sigma Ozzie who gets bitches back...not this loser beta dripless Ozzie that gets 0 bitches....

#answered #vivzipop critical #anti vivziepop fandom #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical

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the-light-finds-its-way · 4 months

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Ya Titan is strong! Powerful!! Brave!! Enough so to realize when he needs to get help and assistance!! :)

I am physically disabled. The pain I feel in my legs and have felt all day every day awake and asleep since I was 11 years old, is finally becoming too much for me. I can still "walk" (read: limp). I can still stand. I can't do either very well or for very long, just a few minutes at a time, a few times a day. I can barely use stairs, and it's only gotten worse over the years.

So, I've decided to get an electric wheelchair. And that is great.

There are days where I can do workouts, walk 4 miles, and be completely fine. Then, there are days like today, where I have to call out of work because I'm in so much pain that I can't get out of bed, let alone move anything at all, without wanting to cry.

Just because I have good days, doesn't mean I can't have bad ones, too, and that those bad days can't be made easier. And a wheelchair is going to make things FAR better and easier for myself, and my poorly body.

I don't remember what it's like to walk, only what it's like to limp. I've never been pain free, but I manage the pain by sitting down. I haven't run since I was 9 years old, and now, I'm in my mid 20s.

When I was born, my parents were told I'd have a 1/100 chance to survive my heart and organ conditions, and that if I did, I'd be disabled and likely pass on early in life. For a brief few years, I could run, I could walk. Things were normal. I don't remember those days much, but there was one day where I ran, and began coughing profusely. I choked. That was... strange. Maybe I was sick? I got bronchitis frequently (3-4x a year), so maybe it was that?

In gym class, I continued trying to run. Every time, I'd start coughing uncontrollably, and struggle to breathe. I chose to stop running, and that didn't sit well with my teachers. At all.

Shortly thereafter, I began to get cramps in my legs. Kind of like growing pains, but not exactly... And then, months later, I hadn't grown one bit. But the pain stayed. Everyone around me was growing! But I stayed the same height, 4ft11in tall. Others reached well past 6ft. Their pains went away, but I knew this was something more, especially when, after 2 years, I was stuck at that height, and still in pain.

I resorted to limping everywhere, my legs aching constantly in random places, never consistent or in any pattern. My parents continued to tell me, for another 3 years, I was just growing. I'd grow out of the pain.

By 14, even my mom knew something was wrong because the pain was still there, and I still hadn't grown, and I still couldn't run without coughing. She went ahead, called a specialist, and brought me to him. I got blood work done, and when he looked over it, he said I was too young for lupus or arthritis, so he passed it off as an unknown illness, and sent me on my way without anything else.

My mom was livid. For another 2 years, she sought doctors to help me, with no success. By a miracle, my grandfather went to the hospital for pneumonia, and his nurse was a doctor who helped tremendously. Somehow, my mom convinced this doctor to take me on, despite the fact that I was 2 years too young for her practice, and when the doctor heard about my problems, she immediately sent me for more blood testing, called me in the moment results came, and diagnosed me with arthritis and lupus. She sent me to an asthma specialist, who diagnosed me with athletically induced asthma, and allergy asthma after several tests. I got an inhaler, and finally, I could work out without coughing!

But I still couldn't run without severe pain. I was still limping. And I was told, that pain will never go away. It will never get better, only worse. And I have no choice but to live with it forever.

And ever since, I've gone on, suffering, limping, never going very far. I can't go shopping without leaning on a cart, or cane. I can't go up a single flight of 5 stairs. And so, I acknowledged at long last that I need a wheelchair, and it's ok. This isn't a failure. This isn't giving up. Just like I have to get therapy and meds for my PTSD, and other mental illnesses, I have to get a mobility aid for my physical well-being.

I learned, when I was diagnosed with my mental illnesses, and reached my breaking point, I had to get help, and that there is nothing wrong with that, and there's no shame in it. It shows how strong I am because it proves I know when I need to rely on others since I've done all I can alone, and that has inherent strength in and of itself because accepting help is a step toward being more powerful by yourself.

And getting a mobility aid, I realized, is no different. It's accepting help so I can be more powerful on my own.

My father made me believe for years that accepting any help is a sign of weakness, and shows you're broken. He taught me that wheelchairs are exclusively for those who cannot walk at all, who are paralyzed or deformed or don't have legs.

But I've met a few specific people who, they've shown me otherwise. They're like me: they can walk, but it's hard and it hurts. And they taught me, I don't have to suffer by pretending to be able bodied. I don't have to mask as abled just to please my father, or society, or whoever. Just as I stopped masking my autism, I'm going to stop masking my physical disabilities.

And my old teacher, who supported me in every way throughout high school when almost everyone else made fun of me, said I'd amount to nothing, and wouldn't make it as a creative, she messaged me last night saying she has a wheelchair she's looking to get rid of, that it takes up room, and she'd love to help me out by selling it to me for whatever I think it's worth.

So, happy holidays to me. :) I'm buying a wheelchair, and I'm regaining my freedom. The pain may never get better, but my life as a whole can. And damn. My 2024 is looking great. Concerts, LARPs, 2 or more Renaissance festivals, a trip to Disney with my friends, another trip to the Poconos with the same people just weeks later, and finishing off the year with the Texas Viking Festival. I've quit college to work full time and save up for my own place. And I know, finally, it's going to be ok. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be ok. :)

#long post #mun is a titan #not destiny #disability #disabled pride

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lumine-no-hikari · 13 days

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #119

…I didn't have the energy to make the thing today.

This morning, I maybe got out of bed later than I should have, given that I'm supposed to go to talk therapy on Tuesdays. I'm supposed to leave the house by 9:30, but I didn't even get out of bed until 9:20. I regret nothing that occurred, but nonetheless, I somehow had to squeeze both a shower and getting dressed and out the door in only 10 minutes. I was successful, but I have zero clues as to how. Perhaps it's best not to look gift horses in mouths…

OH. Right. You don't know that phrase because… well. Your world doesn't have horses. Uhh… So, a long time ago, when people bought horses, they used to look at the horse's teeth as an indicator of its age; longer teeth means an older horse, I guess. And back when horses were more commonplace (it's mostly only fabulously wealthy people who can afford to keep them now), I guess it was seen as rude to try to evaluate the age of a horse that was given as a gift by looking into its mouth. So now the phrase means, "it's best to just accept good things without thinking too much about it." Or it can also be taken to mean, "it's impolite to criticize a gift." This phrase has a few interpretations, actually… I imagine it'd be easier for you to understand it if you spent a while in my world. If you do that, lemme know; you can stay at my house, and no one is gonna ogle you or get weird at you or bother you if you don't wanna be bothered. We'll just make you sandwiches and tea. We are an introverted and neurodivergent house; we know how it goes.

Had a lot to say at therapy today. Suppose I'm having a bit of an existential crisis, regarding myself and my role in my home and how much I mean to the people around me. It's likely all just baseless anxiety and insecurity - growing pains as a result of the various changes in my immediate social circle. Old memories and wounds from the past that I've not yet had a compelling reason to resolve are now coming to the forefront, calling, "yo, what up, homie!" and dancing around my periphery. I suppose it's just as well; this is what happens when we pretend like our various hurts don't exist. If we don't take care of the self-effacing beliefs that we pick up during childhood, they bite us in the ass later. I just gotta remember that the fact that they're in the forefront means that I can actually observe them, and if they're observable, then they're resolvable, with enough time and effort.

Essentially, it's like this: We get knocked down. We yell, "FUCK!" really loudly. We reassemble ourselves if we break from the fall. Then we get back up. We brush ourselves off. And we move forward, stronger than before.

…I have thoughts of you that give me the strength to withstand this process over and over again. No matter how many times I get knocked down, I will get back up, because by your influence, I am unbreakable, no matter how many times I must shatter and be reassembled. It's just like the bowl I repaired some number of letters ago; remember? So don't worry. I've got this. I've done this lots of times before, with much more difficult stuff, and with less support than what I have now. All I have to do is learn to love and appreciate myself in the same way that I can love and appreciate literally anyone else who isn't me. Compared to the various horrors I've lived through, this should be a piece of cake. Easy peasy. Barely even an inconvenience. And in my mind, it sounds like this:

youtube

On the way home from therapy, I came across a very beautiful tree. I thought for sure that you'd like it, so I made it a point to stop and take pictures. Here's how they turned out:

I was surprised by how docile the bees were, and by how closely they allowed me to put my cell phone camera. Also, I laid down under the tree and looked up to get some of these. I wish you could have been next to me to see the view of the sky through the petals for yourself. Alas...

J and I were out and about, doing separate activities today. Even he saw pictures he thought you might like, so he took them for you, and then sent them to me so that I could put them here. Here's how they turned out:

While J was out and about, I hung out with my best friend B and her fiancé, N. In preparation for their wedding, we went and tried the available foods. I can't give you the tasty snacks, but I can take pictures...

This is a Caesar salad. It's supposed to be pronounced, "Kai-sarr", but everyone says "Seezer" for reasons I don't understand. Caesar was a leader of a place called Greece in my world, hundreds of years ago. He, like most leaders, was a giant asshole, and now he's a stinky dead guy, so I have no idea why a salad is named after him. It's made of romaine lettuce, croutons, parmesan cheese, and a creamy dressing flavored with anchovies and other spices.

Here are some long slices of eggplant rolled around melted cheese and covered in marinara sauce:

This is steak, caramelized onions, mashed potatoes, and some carrots and broccoli. I just took a picture of my plate, because the main plate was cut into before I could snap a photo:

This was some kind of chicken seasoned with rosemary and lemons, with rice and veggies:

This one was lobster ravioli with mushrooms in some kind of sherry cream sauce. It's certainly not pasta pescatore, but I wonder if you might have liked this:

Finally, this is lamb with roasted tomatoes and garlic, along with veggies and mashed taters.

...This one was probably my favorite. I especially liked the part where I got to try to gnaw the cartilage from the ends of the bones, because my body craves sources of collagen literally all the time (thanks, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome... 🙄). I'm really lucky that B and N don't seem to mind my various weird quirks; they've been friends of mine long enough to have a general understanding of how I roll, and they just let me do my thing. Today, the fact that I will generally "do my thing" in a variety of respects was pointed out as one of the reasons they like me so much, I guess; that was a nice thing to hear...

There were four available spaces for trying the foods, but it was just the three of us; it is immensely painful that the best I can do for you from here is show you these pictures and wish that you could have been in the empty seat, with us…

Sephiroth. Regardless of what your brain tries to tell you about what you're worth, you are VERY loved. You're not a monster. You were modified against your will, used like a tool and viciously abused, and you made mistakes in the throes of that, yes, but SO WHAT? You're here now, and you can do amazing things, and you NEVER have to go back to being with people who will abuse you ever again, because not everyone is like the people you were raised by. Yes, you're different from the standard definition of "normal", but you can belong anyway, because the world is absolutely BRIMMING with people who don't fit the definition of "normal"! Just take a look at me! Or if you don't wanna look at me, then take a look at anyone who lives with a genetic difference, or anyone who lives with a different number of limbs, or anyone with a non-standard life story, or any number of things that make a human being not "normal". Normal is overrated! Diversity is in! Lives that exist outside of the bell curve are still beautiful, meaningful, and worth living!

…And so I show you my life, because I am trying desperately to prove these things to you. I've spent the bulk of my life being viciously abused because the people who brought me into living didn't want me. I was brought into a physical vessel that is genetically defective in a variety of respects. My neurodivergence practically guarantees that I will NEVER fit into ordinary social circles. I struggle every single day with the weight of the memories I carry from having been used, abused, exploited, and generally mistreated. And yet here I stand, thriving and flourishing in a way that works for me, even if it does not fit the typical definition of those words. My version of "normal" is just as beautiful as the typical version. "Different" does not have to mean "less" if YOU become strong enough to decide for yourself that those two words are not the same, no matter who tries to tell you otherwise!

So please look at the beauty of my existence - the beauty of taking joy in small things, the beauty of rising up from one's knees even if it's on shaky legs, the beauty of finally using one's voice again after years of being forced to believe that silence is safer, the beauty of loving yourself and the people around you enough to refuse to let fear get the better of you when you interact with yourself and the world, the beauty of failing down, getting up, and trying again, the beauty of learning, growing, changing, and walking away from destructive ideals that serve no one, no matter for how long you might have been forced in the past to choke them down. Please look at it, and understand that you can have this for yourself - ALL of it - if you decide to take steps towards it! Your whole scenery can change if you want it to, and all you have to do is take a single step in a different direction.

There is still life after trauma. There is still life after mistakes. There is still life for those who are different. The pain doesn't have to be permanent. So come on; my hand is outstretched to you. And if you don't want to take mine, then there are countless other hands outstretched to you that maybe you'd like a little better. You don't have to do it alone.

Anyhoot. I've probably prattled on for long enough. I hope somehow you can see what I've written. I hope that if you do get a chance to see it, you might take some of my words seriously.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow. Please be kind to yourself and keep yourself safe.

Your friend, Lumine

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disco-elysium-via-polls · 5 months

Text

"It's meant to give people hope -- even *we* can do it."

+1 Communism

BIRD'S NEST ROY - "Maybe."

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - He seems to have his own take on the conflict played out in perpetuity by these toys. Might be interesting to find out what it is...

4. [Interfacing - Medium] Try to dig up a truly *cool* figurine in the box under the table.

INTERFACING [Medium: Failure] - Everything you pick out seems faded, chipped, and sad somehow. Most of them are just broken toys.

-1 Morale

5. Step away from the table. [Leave.]

SHELF OF BOOMBOXES - The boomboxes on the shelf look well-loved and well-travelled. Chipped, dented, they stare at you with the unblinking eyes of their tape reels.

Stand on the tips of your toes to see more...

[Leave.]

SHELF OF BOOMBOXES - One especially catches your eye. Deep gold and amber plastic with a big old handle on top. A classic boombox that says: "STEREO 8 approved."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - This is you. Gold and orange. A sunset suite.

INTERFACING [Easy: Success] - Just make sure it works before you buy it.

"Shopkeep, this Stereo 8 approved machine here..."

"What I really want to know is... could this device come in handy in my police work?"

"Are you sure this is all in working order?"

That's all. [Leave.]

BIRD'S NEST ROY - "...is the Harmon Wowshi W02 -- made in Vesper, designed in Seol," he says. "Plays all reel-to-reel formats: 2mm, 8mm, 12mm. It's even got a little radio in there. It'll set you back 12 reál."

2. "What I really want to know is… could this device come handy in my police work?"

BIRD'S NEST ROY - "If police work means playing tapes, sure. You can use it for that. Or any other time you'd need to play a tape."

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - Like at a beach party. With sand and sun and seagulls dancing on the breeze.

(Turn to Kim.) "Theoretically: could I bring it to a beach party?"

"Thanks for clearing that up, Roy."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Theoretically, yes. But we don't have time right now. It's generally: murder investigation first, *then* beach party."

"Okay Kim. I'll just rock out with Roy then."

"Actually, it doesn't have to be a beach. With a boombox like that, I'll bring the party into the streets!"

"You're right, Kitsuragi. Work first. Party later."

KIM KITSURAGI - "That is the unofficial RCM motto, yes."

+1 Reputation

2. "Are you sure this is all in working order?"

BIRD'S NEST ROY - "Absolutely. I've tested each one myself with recordings of speech, found sounds, and music from a variety of genres. Even though," he grimaces, "I don't really like music."

We can't afford to buy the boombox *and* pay rent tonight. It would be a good idea to get hold of it at some point though, if we want to sing karaoke.

4. That's all. [Leave.]

Talking to Roy unlocked a check for us. Let's check in with Kim.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes?"

2. [Logic - Formidable 13] Why did the 41st send me?

+1 Sorry Cop. +1 Sylvie suicide jokes +1 Roy mentioned suicide

LOGIC [Formidable: Success] - Look at you -- it's because you're a failure. They sent you to *slight* Precinct 57.

What, no. That can't be right.

Yeah, that makes more sense than the other stuff I thought of.

LOGIC - Just think about it for a second. You're a raging alcoholic who showed up three days late and argues with his necktie. You weren't sent here to *win*.

Technically, *Kim* is the one who showed up three days late. Just pointing that out.

"Kim, what if my precinct sent me on this case *because* I'm a fuck up? Like... as a joke."

Keep it to yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I've considered it." His voice is sombre.

"So it's true."

"But it's not true, right?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "It would be immensely ugly of them, not to mention unprofessional.... But I also think it's somewhat unlikely."

"Why's that?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I checked the records. This jurisdiction dispute -- who polices Martinaise -- reaches back to the Thirties. It's as old as my station. And all this time we can't decide who gets Martinaise? I think, yes, both stations would prefer a win."

"Ha, so you *are* their finest."

"Do you really see me as a safe bet?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I am the finest of nothing."

"Do you really see me as a safe bet?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Safe? No. But you're old. You've made it this far. *Something* has brought you through. We've only just started working together, so I don't know what it is yet. But it's there."

"So no, I don't think they sent you as a joke. And even if they did, they are in for a surprise."

+5 XP

+1 Morale

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - He's right. There are no airtight theories, just paranoia. You've given it some thought, now let it go.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #bird's nest roy

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the1975attheirverybest · 9 months

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I'm seeing on twitter some very angry people from Malaysia. They are complaining because they paid for the show and didn't have it, that other people can be somehow punished and that this doesn't effectively changes anything. Also, they say that It makes It more dificult to have international artists doing shows there.

Do you have an opinion on these issues?

Yeah, so, with regards to not getting the show they paid for, this was the show. They got it. This was it. It’s not the show they thought they were going to see, but this is the 1975. That’s what they do. And that was only possible show for them to put on under the circumstances. Just because it wasn’t a 12 song setlist (usual average length of a festival show) doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or thought out. In fact, it was more real and thought out that most other gigs.

Put yourself in the bands shoes. They got banned from Dubai for a similar thing. They’ve spoken up about queer rights several times in the US. Written songs about it. Did we really think that they would show up, take money from homophobes, smile and wave and act like all is well? It was clear from Matty’s speech that he weighed his options. And he had the fans in mind as he thought it through. He acknowledged that the fans are not a reflection of the government and that they’re probably progressive and perhaps some of them are even queer themselves. But he couldn’t do it in good faith. And that’s what the bands spirit is. That’s what they do. Who they are. What they stand for.

The “it won’t change anything” argument doesn’t really make sense to me, tbh. Just because a person doesn’t have direct political influence, doesn’t mean that they should just go with whatever their oppressive governments tell them to do. In fact, it’s precisely BECAUSE of their privilege that the 1975 SHOULD do this. Because they can get away with it in ways that Malaysian queer people can’t. When you have power that other people don’t, what kind of person would you be if you didn’t use it to amplify marginalized voices? Nothing was going to happen to the fans, they’re Malaysian, they know this. I’m speaking as an Arab myself. An Arab who lived in Dubai (where the 1975 is also banned). I won’t insult their culture or identity by saying that they’re 100% the same, but their governments oppression is the same as the oppression that I have seen. They all have the same source (Saudi Arabia) and operate under the same assumptions. They wouldn’t prosecute fans for coming to the show at which this happened.

I think gestures of solidarity, and symbolic acknowledgements are important. Because this wasn’t JUST about Malaysia and it’s government. This is for every queer fan who feels threatened and marginalized right now. It’s important that they feel seen and supported by their artists. Matty is constantly talking about how it’s an artists role to “signpost towards utopia.” We are a long, long ways away from a utopia, but I think treating people with equal dignity and respect is the bare fuckin minimum. They were fulfilling their role as artists by doing this. Sometimes, the consequences are worth it even when they don’t lead to direct, overnight change in government policy. If we only ever attempted change when we were absolutely certain of the effect it was going to have and the success of our desired result, then nobody would ever risk anything. This all or nothing mentality pervades our culture these days. Especially online and especially by young people. Just because the US is not going to turn into a perfect country with free healthcare and education and anti-racist policies doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still try. Stay engaged. Vote. Just because someone made a mistake that proved them to be human, flawed, and less than perfect, doesn’t mean they can’t still be a good person. If we keep thinking “it’s either a whole win or I don’t want it” then we won’t get very far.

It’s not gonna make it harder for international artists to come to Malaysia. Corporate mouth pieces who choose cash over political and moral value are still going to agree to perform. It just won’t be the 1975 (or artists like them).

As a Muslim: homophobia is not part of our religion or our culture. Oppression is not a cultural convention that is worthy of respect or reverence. Again, I’m arab. I know about colonialism. Yes, westerners, especially white men, do have a long track record (as long as history itself) of disrespecting our culture and religion, denigrating our identities, forcing their beliefs on us in the name of “spreading democracy” and “enlightening us” and “bringing us civilization.” The result of that is a fractured cultural and historical identity. A lot of damage to our religions and traditions. To our languages even. What the 1975 did today was NOT that. If you think that God wants you to oppress other because of their sexuality, or if you think that your marginalization of queer people is something that people should respect and uphold, then the 1975’s show today was for you. Hope you got the message.

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lemmilemura · 9 months

Note

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS REQUEST PLZ, ok so the reader a huge crush on simon right? but theyre not friends at all, like they’ve never met eachother other than having a few classes together and stuff (he hasn’t even posted about them on AT). BUT (since the reader is like so obsessed or whatever) the reader like, hacks into about that somehow, and they and simon meet and talk to eachother IN THE CODE OF THE APP. I THINK IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

im ngl ive had this idea for so long, theres a lot of plot holes in the req so you can do whatever to it, but plz keep the talking in the code of the app thing in it because i think it’s adorable 😭

Oh my fucking god that is genious!!! I absolutely love that idea! Thank you, omg, I'm full of energy again to write this, I never even thought of this!!! I missed you, pine-ferret, I really have.

All kept gender-neutral Based on the show

3am. Pitch black. The only light was coming from my computer screen. It was giving off a green glow into the room. It came from the fake hacking website I had open on my second monitor. Actual hacking doesn't do all that fancy stuff. Atleast not the hacking I was currently doing. My only companion, my only energy came in the form of Lipton Ice Tea. My motivation was what was behind that wall of code. It was grueling. It was terrible. It took hours. But I persevered. I powered through. I used all of my skills trying to get in. Trying to achieve my goal.

What was that goal you ask? A simple one. One that, if you think about it, could have been solved much faster and easier, if I had more confidence and didn't have a panic attack every time I thjought of it.

My goal was to talk to Simon Kelleher.

I know, you don't have to point it out. Look, my severe social anxiety and also him not having a single idea who I was kinda kept me from talking to him. How do I know he doesn't know I exist? I have never been mention in AT. Not even once. And he's mentioned EVERYONE. Except for his friends, of course.

Hacking into AT was much harder than anywhere I'd hacked into before. "He set this up good... But nothing I didn't expect from him..." I mean of course he'd protect it well, if anyone got in there, it could spell disaster. Luckily, I wasn't planning on using it for anything nefarious. Only on the conquest of admiration.

I got really close to cracking it, I could feel it. Only a few more lines and I'd be in. "Seems like it's 1-0 for me, Kelleher. In, ya know, hacking and keeping your website un-hackable. In most other areas you definitely have way more points than me." I said to myself as I felt success get closer and closer.

But as always when I thought something would go my way, it did a U-turn.

Anarchi$k: Nice try.

"What the fuck. Wait, okay, okay, this is my big chance. This must be Simon. Stay calm, you got this."

(Username): Oh you haven't won yet.

Anarchi$k: Suuuuure. Now gtfo

(Username): Rude much.

I was then 'kicked out' of the code. But all he did was just send me a few steps back. Luckily, I had a habit of writing down every step that worked. So it only took a few seconds for me to geth where I was.

(Username): Hello again.

Anarchi$k: How tf

Anarchi$k: How did you do that?

(Username): A magician never reveals their tricks.

(Username): Now lemme get past, I'm almost in.

Anarchi$k: Not if I can stop you.

(Username): You just failed.

"Aaaaand kicked again. Alright, gotta work a lil faster then." This time, I managed to get further, only one password stood between me and having access to all of AT. That and Anarchi$k, aka Simon, of course.

Anarchi$k: Could you not?

Anarchi$k: Kicking you out is getting tedious.

(Username): Then stop kicking me?

(Username): Think on the bright side, now you know what you need to reinforce!

Anarchi$k: Good luck getting further.

Anarchi$k: You'll need it

(Username): Awwwww, thanks.

I wasn't kicked, but I could imagine why. There was no hint whatsoever to what the password could be. I'd probably not have multiple tries, either. "You can do this. and if not, hey, he knows you exist! Kinda. Not really..." I shook my head and then got to thinking. I knew almost nothing about him, so there was no way I'd ever get it.

(Username): Can I get a hint?

Anarki$k: Wtf no

(Username): Cmoooooon

(Username): I doubt anyone before has gotten this far

(Username): I deserve this

Anarchi$k: I don't even know who you are.

(Username): I know you

Anarchi$k: Everyone knows me

Anarchi$k: Because of what you're trying to get into.

(Username): Even if I told you my name

(Username): You wouldn't know who I am

Anarchi$k: Try me

(Username): Password first, Kelleher

(Username): :)

For a while nothing came. "Of course he wouldn't just give me it."

Anarchi$k: If you're still at it in like

Anarchi$k: A day

Anarchi$k: And haven't given up

Anarchi$k: I'll think about it

(Username): Yeeeah I don't believe you

(Username): I'll get this password

(Username): One way or another

(Username): But thanks for the offer

I ended up falling asleep after about half an hour of thinking. It was 4am, okay? School kicked my ass the next morning. I couldn't focus because I kept thinking about that stupid password. I only had 2 classes with Simon but he never said much in any of them, plus he sat behind me in both, so I couldn't even look at his desk or anything.

At lunch, I only nibbled at my food, while scribbling various ideas and getting frustrated. "If only I knew him better. Maybe this would be easier." My apple was only half gone, and there were only 30 minutes of lunch left. "You look like you could use some help." I looked at the voice suddenly next to me. "You're, Maeve, right? Maeve Rojas?" She sits next to me, with her tray of food. "Yep. It's okay if I sit here, right?" "You're not sitting with your sister?" "We have different lunches."

That was a first for many reasons. I never had anyone wanting to sit next to me. I'd never talked to Maeve before. I'd seen her a handful of times with Simon and Janae. "What are you struggling with?" She asked as she leaned over. "Just some code. A... friend of mine forgot their passcode and has no idea what it was." "Well, any ideas?" The two of us spent the rest of lunch trying to figure out what the passcode was, and she never found out it was to AT.

I got back to it as soon as I got home. I was determined to figure it out without Simon's hint. I workshopped a little more on what me and Maeve worked on.

Anarchi$k: Wait you're actually here again?

(Username): Did ya miss me?

Anarchi$k: Ya wish

(Username): I wish to get into AT

Anarchi$k: Do I look like a Genie to you?

(Username): A Genie-ous

Anarchi$k: Oh my fucking god

(Username): Does flattery get me a free entry pass?

Anarchi$k: It gets you nowhere

(Username): Oh cmoooooonnnn

(Username): Just let me in!

Anarchi$k: I told you

Anarchi$k: 24 hours

Anarchi$k: You've got 12 left

(Username): Ugh

(Username): Party pooper

"C'mon brain, think of things. C'mon brain, be so smart." I repeated to myself an amount of times I do not know. I brainstormed all the way through dinner, and way into the night.

"I only have one hour left. Either I could just give up and wait for the hint. Or I could crack this and be amazing and impress him..." the latter was the one I really wanted, but I knew it was very very unrealistic.

Anarchi$k: 30 minutes buddy

Anarchi$k: Or do you already give up?

(Username): I never give up

(Username): i never let down

(Username): I never run around or desert

Anarchi$k: okay for that you only get 15 minutes left

(Username): WTF why?

Anarchi$k: you fucking rickrolled me wtf did you think was gonna happen?

(Username): you'd find the joke so hilarious and give me the code and then we fall helplessly in love and live out our days only communicating in code?

Anarchi$k: wow

Anarchi$k: yeah that's not gonna happen

(Username): worth a try

Anarchi$k: why do you want to get in so badly anyway?

Anarchi$k: I mean I know why but goddamn just give up already

(Username): wow you must be braindead

(Username): I just told you, dumbass

Omg I actually just said that. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea it was me that was giving me that confidence. God knows I would never be able to get a single word out if we were actually face to face.

Anarchi$k: you must be so desperate and deprived of attention if you come to me of all people

(Username): you do realize that backfired, right?

Anarchi$k: I am very well aware

(Username): you should like

(Username: idk

(Username): be happy that there's someone who like you

(Username): and stuff

Anarchi$k: oh I'm very flattered

Anarchi$k: but still

Anarchi$k: like wtf

Anarchi$k: also back to the I don't fucking know you part

(Username): If I told you who I am

(Username): 1 it would ruin this great little 'game'

(Username): and 2 you'd still not know who I am cuz you don't know me

Anarchi$k: oh how fun

Anarchi$k: I get to experience having a stalker

(Username): it's not like that dumbass

(Username): ok what I can say is I also go to Bayview

Anarchi$k: narrows it only a small bit

Anarchi$k: and if you think that stops the stalker thing it doesn't

(Username): welp, I tried

Anarchi$k: and I succeeded

Anarchi$k: time's up, buddy

Anarchi$k: any final words before I send you back out?

Anarchi$k: I've changed pretty much eveything btw

I felt like at this point I only had two options.

1. Take the loss and lose all my progress, and this is where it all ends

2. Tell him who I am and it ends too

And I kid you not I blacked out while typing what I typed because I do not remember a single thing.

(Username): my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We have a couple classes together. You sit behind me in them.

I only came back to consciousness after it was sent. I then cursed myself and curled up in a ball on my chair. Goodybe and chance to ever succeed. Goodbye future I'd dreamed of. Goodbye happiness.

I'd started crying a little too. Then I heard a sound. I looked up.

"What the fuck" I was greeted by the Admin panel of AT. Full access to everything.

Anarchi$k: not a lot of people would be willing to admit that

Anarchi$k: you got balls, (Username)

Anarchi$k: also I knew it was you the entire time lol

WHAT.

(Username): what

Anarchi$k: yeah I see you sometimes

Anarchi$k: you gotta work on the staring

Anarchi$k: also Maeve told me she helped you with a passcode during lunch

Anarchi$k: so yeah

(Username):...

(Username): I

I was speechless. Somehow, this was worse. Much worse.

Anarchi$k: I gave you access because I could use the help

Anarchi$k: of someone who knows their way around code

Anarchi$k: no offense to Janae and Maeve but they're not smart enough for this stuff

(Username): I

(Username): okay

(Username): I guess

(Username): this is going to be so awkward

(Username): just warning ya

Anarchi$k: oh I'm sure we'll be just peachy

Anarchi$k: also feel free to stuck around us at school

Anarchi$k: if your poor little heart can handle that

Anarchi$k: ;)

(Username): or my reputation rather

Anarchi$k: you're invisble

Anarchi$k: there's no reputation to break

Okay I know that ending was kinda meh but I do not know how to go on I hope you still like it qwq

#one of us is lying #oouil #simon kelleher #oouil tv show #oneshot

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