#this started out semi-jokingly because that acknowledgment

[hammysamhah]

hello peoples i’m about to sound real crazy right now but hear me out cus i’ve been thinking this for awhile now while binge watching TBGO and Trollstopia and i need to know your thoughts!! and buckle up folks cus this is gonna be a LONG post

so okay basically, i think that in the shows Guy Diamond has some sort of generational trauma/ daddy issues/ faced parental neglect or however else it can be phrased.

this theory is only show specific and i don’t know if i sound crazy for thinking this AND i know i’ve made a post similarly about this except with Dareth from Ninjago but i actually have some real evidence this time to back up this theory/headcanon

look, this theory started off as kind of a joke at first after watching TBGO episode: “Trolly Tales 3” where Guy is seen telling a bunch of children a story based off of the nursery rhyme about jumping over a candlestick.

the story is seen with Guy as the main character, wanting to pursue a life of entertainment involving jumping over candlesticks. Sky Toronto, whom is Guy’s dad in this story, doesn’t agree with this lifestyle and insists he starts thinking more seriously and be part of the company. Guy rebels and pursues his dream anyway, but in the end it fails after the candlestick drops Guy and becomes a solo act. Guy, now at his lowest, goes back to his dad’s and tells him he’s ready to be serious. Sky responds to the statement that he has seen Guy’s shows and that he doesn’t want Guy calling him dad anymore, but to instead call him his #1 fan. it was a small but sweet twist there at the end where the dad accepts the son in the end.

now i didn’t really give much thought to the story until i saw the way Guy reacted when the kids didn’t like it. now i’ll make it very aware that i very much know Guy is just super dramatic (they even acknowledged that in the scene i’m mentioning rn), BUT as someone who loves to overanalyze cartoon characters and expressions, he kind of looked genuinely hurt. he was also fairly offended when poppy said his story was too dramatic.

mentioning again that i know Guy is just a drama queen but i like to overanalyze stuff like this

now after i noticed these details, i jokingly remarked that it seemed like Guy took the dislike of his story personally, as if that was a semi-true story. like as if something like that did happen to Guy when he was younger and he twisted the story to fit the nursery rhyme. i don’t think that Sky Toronto is his actual dad, there’s too much proof that shows they don’t have any personal connection like that. but i do think that whoever his dad really was did push him the same way Sky did in the story. and that maybe Guy twisted the ending to be happy when in reality it probably didn’t have his dad accepting him and loving him for who he was.

now everything i have been talking about is all just speculation. there’s no real proof that this story isn’t anything more than just a story. BUT!!! by overanalyzing it is what made me realize that Guy being neglected in some way by his dad (or mom if he has one) would make some sense considering his personality.

Guy is very reliant on being the center of attention, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone being better than him and just has some confidence issues in general (at least in TBGO). there are many episodes centering around this. this is even stated in Guy Damond’s wiki.

now, attention seeking is a very common occurrence in people that were neglected as a child. his attention seeking and huge ego are both things that show signs of trauma or neglect as seen below

this is just a slice of what i have in store though because i think that this ties into the way he parents Tiny Diamond in Trollstopia.

Guy and Tiny have a few episodes centered around their relationship, they’re all pretty heartwarming and a little sad (while also being funny because the show’s a comedy). these episodes have a pretty similar moral which is “i’ll love you no matter what” and i feel like there’s a reason they all pretty much have this moral and it’s to show how Guy is growing as a character and parent.

let me just summarize these episodes i am thinking of realll quick for ya

Extra Tootering (s1 ep 12a): Tiny wants to learn how to glitter fart like his dad to impress his friends, Guy tries to teach him how but it doesn’t work. time comes where Tiny is meant to show his friends his trick and ended up faking it so no one could know he couldn’t do it. feeling guilty for his lie, he runs away and Guy finds him and tells him that whether he can glitter or not he and his friends will still love him the way he is.

Dad-urday (s2 ep 1b): Tiny thinks of his dad as his hero and Guy doesn’t wanna do ANYTHING that could ever break that image, so Guy participates in Dad-urday events that he hates just to make Tiny happy, only in the end to find out that Tiny will always view Guy as his hero even if he can’t do all the typical dad things that others can do.

Funder Construction (s7 ep 5a): Guy tells Tiny about how their family has a legacy of building extraordinaryly cool blanket forts and unintentionally pressured Tiny into feeling that he needs to make his own super impressive fort or else he won’t be considered a Diamond, Guy immediately comforted and reassured Tiny that no matter what he accomplishes in life he’ll always be a Diamond because he’s his son and that he’ll love him no matter what.

now let me break down these episodes a bit more to show you how i think it could prove Guy has parental trauma and how it plays into how he parents now.

for Extra Tootering, there’s this specific scene that spoke to me. when Tiny tells his dad that he wants to learn how to glitter like him, Guy tells him that he was also a late tooter and that Tiny should be patient, as it comes with time. but then Tiny starts saying that he’ll just hide his true self away until then. when Guy heard his son say those things, he was tearing up and even freaked out a little literally shouting a dramatic “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” and he immediately decided that he was going to help his son learn to glitter fart despite his earlier statement that Tiny should be patient.

now i know the topic being about farting glitter makes this feel so unserious but that isn’t gonna stop me from overanalyzing it LOL

the main thing i noticed was how upset that Guy was when Tiny started talking about hiding himself from the world. Tiny was wanting to hide himself because he couldn’t glitter like Guy could. Guy didn’t wanna be the cause of his son hiding himself!! any parent would be upset in this situation. but if i consider my past point of that story Guy told back in TBGO, where the dad didn’t want his son to be himself, being a real thing that Guy could’ve gone through, Tiny wanting to hide himself could very much upset Guy!! not just for the basic reasons of wanting your child to be happy but also because he doesn’t want Tiny to go through what he went through.

later on when Guy finally finds his runaway son, this interaction plays out:

(direct quotes from the ep)

Guy: “don’t you see? i love you just the way you are! we all do!”

Tiny: “but you’re my daddy, daddy! you have to say that.”

Guy: “…you’re right, Tiny. i guess because i’m your father, in a way, i do have to say it.”

and the way Guy said that last sentence just felt interesting to me. the pause before he said it, and using the words “i guess” made it feel like he never really got that treatment from his own father ? ofc i could just be grasping at straws there a lil bit but it’s what i’m thinking.

now by the end of the episode Tiny has learned how to glitter and used it to save himself, his dad, and friends from falling to death lol— but what Guy says to Tiny afterwards was very sweet.

(direct quote from ep)

Guy: “TINYYYYY! HAHA! you did it! YOOOOU did it!!! for the record, i’d still love you if you couldn’t, but i’m glad to not be dead.”

i just like how Guy specified that he still would’ve loved Tiny either way. this doesn’t directly lead any points to my theory other than maybe Guy feels the need to make sure Tiny absolutely knows that he’ll love him no matter what. but any parent should feel that way about their child. i just really thought the moment was sweet and worth a mention.

now onto the next episode, Dad-urday, and let me tell you this episode probably spoke to me the MOST when it came to defending my theory.

for the entire episode Guy was stressing over disappointing his son. Tiny thinks of Guy as his hero, and Guy doesn’t want to do anything that could ever shatter that thought and make Tiny think less of him. so he and Tiny participate in a thing called Dad-urday, where all the dads in Trollstopia do a bunch of stereotypical dad things (like grill, play catch, fish, stuff like that). but Guy isn’t good at those things, so he goes to his friends for help and this interaction pursues.

(direct quotes from ep)

Synth: “Tiny’s gonna love dad-urday! he thinks the world of you and what-not!”

Guy: “exactly! Tiny thinks i can do anything! but tomorrow he’ll realize i can’t, and i just don’t want my little boy to lose his hero…”

Guy is seen here putting so much pressure on himself for no reason! he should know that Tiny would love him despite his lack of ‘dad’ skills, but he’s convinced himself that if he isn’t perfect and amazing at everything then his son will think less of him. this is totally rooted in Guy’s confidence issues and probable parental neglect i think.

so Guy forces himself to do typical Dad-urday things (with the help of his friends) to make sure not to disappoint his son. but things go wrong when Guy has to participate in a boating event to which he gets into a dangerous position. at this point Guy’s friends finally told Tiny the truth and Tiny immediately just wants his dad to get out of the danger he’s in leading to this interaction

(direct quotes from the ep)

Tiny: “daddy! your daddy friends already told me everything! you gotta get out of there!”

Guy: “b-but— this isn’t how i wanted this to go, Tiny! you’re my little boy! and i want you to keep on believing i can do anything! so you don’t lose your hero!”

the way that Guy sounded so panicked and upset in this scene really hurt. to me it feels like Guy is desperate to not end up being a bad dad, he wants to be someone his son can look up to and to be the first person he goes to if there’s a problem. i really think this shows that Guy never had a good role model himself, as he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t need to do all the things he’s making himself do in order to achieve this goal.

this mindset even had Guy forget that Tiny already knew he’s not perfect, as Tiny pointed out he already knew he’s not capable of everything and specified about when Guy tried to build his bike and failed, which made Guy finally remember. Tiny then proceeded to list a bunch of other things about his dad that aren’t the most charming, like his bald spot, or his fake calves lmao

anyways the next bit of dialogue here seems pretty meaningful

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “there’s only one reason you’re my hero, daddy…. *BECAUSE* you’re my daddy!”

Guy (tearfully): “…really?”

the fact Guy was crying in this scene just showed how touched he felt that he didn’t actually have to be perfect to be a good dad. and that he already was one. the mere fact that being his dad made Tiny think of him as his hero definitely made him realize he was doing a good job. he needed to hear that after all the pressure he put on himself earlier.

now onto Funder Construction, which is a pretty big one too cus they actually talk about their family in this episode!

this could potentially put a little dent into my theory since Guy is the one who talks about them and he didn’t seem like someone who didn’t like his family. but i might just put it as he didn’t wanna have his child worry about it. i mean Guy is an actor in the show, it wouldn’t be too crazy for him to ignore his feelings for a minute and talk a little kindly about their family’s legacy to inspire Tiny, because Guy did play a fair part in it after all.

now to put it simply this episode hurt my heart so bad 😭 Guy’s parenting in this episode is so good it hurt. Tiny found an interest in making blanket forts, so Guy tells Tiny about how making blanket forts runs in the family and that they’ve all made huge creations out of them. and now Tiny wants to do the same.

Guy supports Tiny throughout the entire thing until Tiny starts rushing it and the fort becomes unstable. by then Guy is begging Tiny to stop but Tiny is consistent on getting it done. then the tower starts wobbling over with them on it and they fall off the side! luckily they were able to hold onto some loose blankets but they still were in a very unsafe position. and even then, still Tiny is consistent about finishing this fort and thus, this interaction pursues:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “i have to build something the world has never seen before!”

Guy: “BUT WHY?!”

Tiny: “because if i don’t…i’m not a Diamond.”

Guy: “…not a Diamond..?”

and dude. Guy’s face after Tiny said that. that brief moment of just an emotion change felt like Guy was realizing that he unintentionally pressured Tiny into thinking that if he didn’t build this fort he wouldn’t be considered part of the family. this is the exact thing Guy wanted to prevent Tiny from feeling.

so now continuing the scene, tiny is crying at this point:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “it’s like you said, ‘every Diamond built structures that would stand until the end of time.’ so, if i don’t do that… how can i be one of them?”

Guy: “…Tiny Diamond. young man, you listen to me, and you listen good, because i have something that you need to hear. first of all, the things the Diamonds of the past did took them their entire lifetimes. if they caught one glimpse of what you’ve accomplished as a child..? it would blow the hair right off their heads!”

Tiny: [smiles and sniffs]

Guy: “and second of all, and way way more importantly, none of that matters! i don’t care if you build a thousand skyscrapers, or if you never touch another blanket again, you are always a Diamond. because you.. are my son.”

this scene is so important not just for Tiny but for Guy too. Tiny is learning once again that his dad will truly love him no matter what. and unlike last time with the glitter fart, (which Tiny was able to achieve in the end), in this episode, Tiny’s plan doesn’t work, but now he’s okay with it. because his dad made him feel less pressured and more loved. Guy Diamond truly said some powerful things to his son. this will most likely be a memory that Tiny will remember forever and that’s such a good thing.

coming back to the theory though, Guy had accidentally made his son feel how his family probably made him feel in the past. maybe not about specifically the blanket tower stuff but possibly something similar or just anything in general. pressure to live up to family values can be traumatic if your family makes you feel outcasted for not living up to it the way they want. and considering i think Guy either got disowned or ran away himself, (solely based on the story he told those children in TBGO), it obviously didn’t end very well.

the fact he made Tiny feel that pressure was probably heart breaking to Guy. and he made sure to immediately make sure Tiny knew he had no reason to feel like that. he became so serious so fast to make SURE tiny didn’t feel out of place in their family.

and that just shows Guy’s development not just from the trauma im theorizing but just in general in the show. Guy was never really the most serious character in this show. i mean, he’s a naked sparkly troll who’s main character trait half the time is farting glitter or being super dramatic in comedic ways. but seeing how serious Guy gets when it’s about his son just goes to show how seriously he cares about him. and that’s how you break generational trauma yall, Guy Diamond mastered it.

so um yeah this is pretty much all i have to say about this theory. i just wanted to show how i thought that Guy didn’t have a good childhood but made sure his son had a great one. really sweet stuff for this mostly unserious show. i know this is probably super dumb but i don’t care i just love dumb things. and if you actually read all of this thanks and here’s a cookie 🍪

#guy diamond #tiny diamond #trolls fandom #trolls world tour #trolls band together #trollstopia #trolls the beat goes on #trolls theory #trolls poppy #queen poppy #trolls synth #i am so serious #make fun of me if you have to #i love guy diamond #he’s the best dad #peppy needs to take notes

[bruhaintnowway]

I was looking through my drafts and found this old thang it’s unfinished and unedited and completely self indulgent:D

•fem reader

•smut…like a lot of it.

•semi public

You had been nervous all day because of your college graduations your family had flown in just to see you walk on a small stage and get a that dumb paper that acknowledged your sleepless nights and crying sessions. But that’s not what made you nervous. No receiving the supplies was easy, what made you nervous was the look your boyfriend was giving you.

You were outside as people swarmed to take photos of the other graduates your family no different enveloping you in hugs and congratulating you. Finally it got to Leon, he hugged you tightly and gave you a small kiss and then pulled away his arm around you waist as your family spoke and tried to figure out where to take photos.

You were a bit surprised leon had never been one to hide his affection not even from your family no matter how embarrassing it was when hed kiss you as many times as he wanted in front of an aunt. Everyone seemed to forget about you for a moment as they tried to figure out what to do and it was just Leon and you.

“I did it.” You say to him with a smile he smiled back down at you giving you a small kiss on the lips.

“Yeah, good job” he said. You frown ‘good job?’ What was going on? You look at him with a confused gaze. But shrug it off as him attempting to be as respectful as possible. You look over at your family and sigh pulling your mom over.

“Hey, I’m gonna use the bathroom while you figure this out okay?” You said your mom nods

“Want me to go with you?” She asks before you can answer Leon’s hands pull you back slightly

“I’ll go with her ma’am don’t worry” Leon offered your mother nodded and turned back to the discussion at hand. You look at him curiously as you both turn to try and find an empty bathroom. You hated using the bathroom if there were to many people around it made it impossible for you to go.

“You don’t want to argue?” You asked with a small laugh gesturing to your bickering family as you walked. He laughed the grip on your waist tight as you walked.

“No your family actually terrifies me” Leon says jokingly. You giggle in response walking deep into your campus and finally finding a restroom that wasn’t completely flooded with people. You take off your cap and gown and hand it to Leon.

“Hold this for me while I go yeah?” He nods and takes it leaning on a wall outside you smile and walk in the empty atmosphere so blissful as you run and finally get your business done you wash your hands and dry them adjusting your hair, makeup and clothes.

You hear the door swing open and you tense trying not to turn to the new person

“It’s okay” you thought.

“I’m done anyway” you turn to walk away when you see Leon closing the bathroom door.

“Leon?” You hiss walking up to him

“What are you doing you can’t be in here?” You scold he smiles and locks the door and suddenly it dawns on you.

“Okay I know what you’re thinking but let’s talk about this” you said but he walks to you and hugs you tightly placing your cap and down in the counter.

“I cant take it anymore” he whispered in your ear making shivers run down your back.

“What?” You say his hands grip your hips as his head burrows in your neck kissing it softly you almost melt at the sensation

“You look so beautiful” he whispered kissing gently.

“Leon?” You whispered breathily as his hands start traveling up your dress

“You see just cruel you know that? Walking around all dolled up like that your dress this tight? Fuck,” he mumbled his hands gripping your thighs. You don’t say anything completely melting into his touch your arms holding onto the back of his neck in a hugging motion to keep your self standing. He smiles and kisses you his hands gently traveling up and down your thighs. Your breath becomes uneven at the action and he sighs.

“Please,” he begged softly as his hands made circles over the fabric of your panties. You gasp a bit and holding him close nodding as a response that’s all he needed he grabs your waist and pulls you onto the counter to sit he kisses you more roughly now and you make a note to touch your makeup up before you leave. His hand began to palm you through the fabric of your underwear as his tongue left no room for you to speak.

“Hmm~” you hummed in approval. He pulled away and kissed your neck again.

“I wish I could mark your pretty skin,” he whispered.

“But I’m feeling nice so Ill cut you some slack” you laughs bit at his words and rest your head on the mirror behind you when he kissed down to the fabric of your dress.

“So pretty” he whispered softly he lifts you a bit sliding your dress up over your hips. The cold counter on your skin making you shift but he lifts you again pulling down your panties that were completely soaked from his hands. He leaned down and you adjusted on the uncomfortable surface.

“You okay?” He asks and you nod his strength keeping you elevated. He nods and lens forward to one of your thighs and kissing it sweetly.

“Oh I’m not feeling that nice” he mumbled to himself and you feel his teeth sink into the skin of your thighs. your hand flies to your mouth and you squeezed your eyes shut

“Fuck..” you mumble softly trying to stay quiet just in case someone outside could hear you or even worse your family came looking for you. He chuckled a bit running his tongue over the bite to sooth it you feel your stomach burn at the action

“Leon~” you mumble looking down at him eyebrows furrowed but your mouth hung agape at the soft teases.

“Shhh~ this is your day. Just enjoy it” he whispered it seemed he also knew the risk of what they were doing. You nod as his face gets close to your clit blowing cool air on the pulsing ball of nerves making you shutter.

“So gorgeous” He whispered again his hands keeping a tight hold on your hips as he leaned down and kissed it gently.

“Leon…” you whimper again your body pressing into his mouth and he smiled working his tongue in a long lick up the sensitive area closing his eyes groaning in pleasure

“You taste so good” he whispered against the folds and he lapped hungrily quickly you were left covering your mouth with both hands the back of your head leaning on the mirror as the wet slurping sounds of Leon’s mouth echoed through the bathroom

“Leon! Leon!” You cried the feeling so overwhelming that you couldnt think of anything else to say but to pray his name like he truly was your god

Leon was relentless keeping his head low between your legs his hands gripping your thighs you knew they would bruise his tongue like magic on your clit

“So wet for me…” he whispered letting out a deep laugh that send shivered up your body forcing you to suppress a moan

“God….” You whispered squeezing your eyes shut whimpering with absolute bliss

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #resident evil leon #leon fluff #leon is needy #older leon kennedy #RE4

[icemavly]

prompt: mav and ice having a tickle fight until they’re breathless.

tags: 578 words of fluff-turned-sappy with too many thoughts, post-canon, 1986, set during the first month of icemav being together, no beta we die like old engines.

“I’m telling you Ice, I’m getting old,” Pete says while sighing dramatically. He’s laying on the couch, shirtless, still catching his breath after his usual morning run that he claims to hate so much.

Tom is standing in front of the kitchen counter, putting the freshly-washed strawberries into two bowls, one green and one blue. He rolls his eyes at Pete’s words, not holding back a little smile. “Always knew you’d be the first to give up, Mitchell,” he replies jokingly, turning towards the living room.

“You can only wish, Kazansky.” Pete’s eyes are closed, and he looks content. His right arm comfortably supports his head and the left one is abandoned on his torso, fingers brushing against his right side. It’s a sight. Tom may be biased by the fact that he’s utterly infatuated, but it’s also an objective, totally external point of view.

He takes a few steps to reach the couch, and stops his thoughts from wandering off. He tries to not think at all as he climbs on it, straddling Mav’s lap.

Maverick lets out a surprised sound, and his hands fly to Ice’s hips to steady him. “Woah, bold move Iceman.”

Tom smiles, bright and energetic, “trying to see if you’re really getting old.” Then his gaze softens, a shy look appears on his face. Pete feels something fluttering in his chest at the way he’s being looked at – lovingly. It looks like love, an everlasting kind. His heart aches with how much he wants it to be.

He looks down briefly, tightening the grip on Ice’s tights, stroking his skin with his thumbs. When he looks up, his signature Maverick smirk sits on his lips. It’s the same look that he gave Tom the first time they met. It’s the look that he wants to give him anytime, because he can’t believe that Tom Iceman Kazansky fell for him, and that he fell for Tom.

(He actually can believe it, his heart knew what his brain wouldn’t dare to acknowledge since the beginning.)

He smirks and the sparkle in his eyes screams I love you in a thousand different ways, starting from I love you, ‘till you’re by my side, my everyday life will the best of my adventures.

“You’re up to no good with that smile, Maverick.”

“Me? Please, I could never.”

Tom giggles, and then he lowers himself towards Mav, who thinks he may die right there, while willingly letting Ice having full control over him. You lower your guard once and that’s how you end up.

(He’d do it again, and again, and again.)

Lost in his thoughts, Mav doesn’t realize until it’s too late that Ice is catching him by surprise. His fingers find his sides and his stomach and start to tickle him.

“You little shit,” Maverick laughs while desperately trying to protect himself.

“Little shit? Me? You’re not exactly in a position that allows you to say such things.”

And Maverick laughs even louder, even if he’s already planning his revenge. His own hands are helpless against Tom’s fingers, so he goes for the wisest option left: tickle back. In a tangle of hands and arms he’s now brushing his fingertips against Tom’s neck and collarbone.

Their laughter fills the room until they are both breathless. Ice semi-collapses against Mav, blurting our a “sorry” and trying to move over; Mav doesn’t let him, pulling him closer, finding comfort in such closeness and in his weight over him.

#ao3 is down so i was forced to write #might have screamed in frustration a couple of times #top gun #top gun: maverick #pete maverick mitchell #maverick #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #icemav fic #icemav fanfiction #icemavly.writes

[tearfulkingdom]

i feel like a large issue has arisen a lot lately in terms of how people discuss stories and nuance in a phenomenon that I've been semi-jokingly referring to as the "Miku Made Minecraft" dilemma? with the dilemma, you take death of the author to a twisted misinterpretation of a logical extreme. the intents of the people who worked on the end result do not matter, and are irrelevant to said end result. the media exists as an alternate world that exists as is and was not created by any real being.

in action, this leads to issues with a work only being discussed through its depiction within its own media. a villain is not written that way in a tasteless attempt to profit off of shock value, that villain is an evil and nefarious being who must be punished for their deeds. a character is not a heavily stereotypical trope of a minority, they're a Real Person and critique of their handling means you Hate Them, The Real Person Who Exists In This Media. a background detail is not set dressing designed or written by a real person, it's a secret clue to the media's history and contradictions are just another layer to this woven tale you must uncover.

regardless of whether or not any of these have a grain of truth, it leads to a lot of arguments when the very mention of the creators behind a work are mentioned. it's seen as ruining the suspension of disbelief, of "ignoring the issue", to "ruining their fun" to point out that these works involved Real people in a Real world working on them. this has been an issue for a long time (see: female characters in fighting games and their occasionally ridiculous in-universe justifications of why they wear so little clothing), but it's spread a lot across how conversations of these nuances are handled within online spaces in general.

i don't really have an exact point to make here, or even any solutions in mind, but it is concerning to see acknowledgements of an author or developer's personal views or intentions entirely disregarded because "the end result is so enjoyable", or similarities to real world issues dismissed through the lens of "it's just fiction". these touchstones to reality exist, no matter how much you try to deny them.

if miku made minecraft and the antisemitism of notch has no impact upon its standalone end result, why are the trade and money-obsessed villagers protected by golems? if miku made harry potter, why do the predatory werewolves target defenseless young children to infect with their cursed blood? why would you want miku to be responsible for these things?

idk. maybe sometimes people need to take a step out of the canvas of the work for a bit and start looking at things from out in the gallery.

#I'll delete this later if people are being clowns #ramblings #harry potter mention #for people looking to blacklist

[who-needs-words]

Listened to Unseen episode 5. And boy do I have thoughts. Unfortunately I am Tired™ (re; all the reasons I thought today was yesterday). So instead; the last of my brain cells;

*clears throat* thank you Long Story Short Productions, for the very good recommendation. Unfortunately I’m already listening to The Magnus Archives, the most successful horror podcast is Europe (wait really?) a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast ( so many words) that examines what lurks in the archives of the Magnus institute (nothing? Evil eyeballs and statements I guess?) but the esoteric and weird have a way or lurking back ( okay I really love this phrase) One of the longest running, Innovative and enduring scary podcast (awww).

You know, the podcast the got me through and is still getting me through this stupid pandemic. And means a whole hell of a lot to me.

(This is the part where I loss my train of thought)

Anyway, (and I say this sincerely) thank you for supporting them. Both podcasts, and both teams of dedicated people. You create this content for us free (and I assume while working a job that pays the bills) we take you for granted. So yeah, thank you. You’re both incredible and we don’t as fans don’t say how grateful we are enough.

(This was made in part because I’m still furious about the bull Rusty Quilll has been dealing with recently)

(Also totally laying bets that at some point TMA will promote Unseen)

#unseen podcast #the Magnus Archives #unseen #TMA #Long Story Stort Productions #Rusty Quill #unseen pod #magnus pod #this started out semi-jokingly because that acknowledgment #at the start of episode caught be off guard and made me laughter because it caught me off guard #then it dissolved into praise #we really don’t say thank you enough #both teams work so hard #and look how they get treated #anyway #I have a tired and overwhelmed brain #if something is wrong #of heavens forbid this somehow effents someone #then I don’t really care #I just want to express my gratitude in peace #also #wow the tone of this post changes every sentence #i should go to sleep #rusty quill podcast

[compassionatereminders]

So prefacing this with: this ask isn't meant to ask you for an advice or for a solution, I am just trying to vent and make sense of the situation and thought this space might help... If this makes u uncomfortable in any way u are free to delete it.

There's this person in my sort of friend group that I dislike. I followed them at first because they made something I like, which I praised them for. However, not so long ago it's like they just do not really acknowledge my presence anymore except when I praise them or make something for them. We have not really been that close, so I brushed it aside, but it hurts a bit when someone I thought was a friend starts ignoring me. I know everyone's busy with their lives though, so i thought little of it. However, this persists even in group chats, and it's a bit uncomfortable. They've also made several comments towards me from time to time that could be interpreted as catty (e.g. when I've sent selfies in the group chat they seem to "jokingly" complain that they already see enough of my face on social media already... which deterred me from posting selfies for a while because the times I genuinely like my face are quite rare. I've been dealing with body dysmorphia since I was 13, so it's about nearly 10 years...). There was also this other time where they complained about wanting to leave a comment on our mutual friend's writing, but finding out it already had such long comments (one of which was mine, which was almost essay's length... Because i get excited and like to leave long comments when i can) and sort of implying that because there are already such long comments, they can't really leave one. (They have since deleted this message and i can no longer find it. So it makes me feel like i just imagined it or something).

And like what bothers me is, i don't really dislike people that often. When i find someone whose personality i clash with, i just try to ignore their existence and not let it get to me. When they make me uncomfortable, i just avoid them and don't think of them. But with this one, they were my friend before... And also they are someone who is very well liked within the community. And like it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong somehow because clearly if everybody else likes them, i must be imagining it and I'm the one who's being a bad person. Granted, of course I try my best to never take it out on them or speak ill of them to others. I had to mute their account just so it wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable and so I won't do things to hurt her or anything else that I'd regret. I would've cut off contact completely, but I'm afraid of kicking up drama because I'm still semi active in this friend group.

When it comes to these things, i usually prefer talking it out openly, but this was someone who's supposed to be a friend, plus they're very well liked. And i keep feeling like everything i felt is just not real/imagined... I feel very guilty whenever their presence triggers negative emotional reactions in me. I feel like a terrible person for disliking someone who's very well liked...

Disliking/not getting along with someone really doesn't have to be a big deal. It's perfectly okay for you to just keep your distance and not initiate plans with this individual - and this doesn't necessarily make either of you bad

#chat with kat

[eiloh-dystonic]

Jotakak headcanons

Slight part 3 spoiler warning

Also I refuse to acknowledge kakyoins actual fate

They love sparring with eachother. Fighting in general is a big part of their relationship. Being able to trust eachother enough to hold their own in a match without seriously injuring the other, and to have their back in a battle is super important. Its a major form of intimacy for them

The adrenaline, the trust, the physical closeness, the intimate understanding of eachothers strategies, thought process and movements. They just love sparring ok

Their sparring matches can get pretty emotional too. It's difficult for them to confront and express their emotions with other people. So they use fighting as an intense emotional release that makes it easier for them to talk about things after. Its not uncommon for one of their sparring matches to end in one or both of them crying about their share trauma or something similar and holding eachother

Jotaro doesn't want to use time stop in their sparring matches at first, but kakyoin insists that he's comfortable with it. Jotaro is worried about hurting him more than he already has been with it, or scaring him. kakyoin trusts jotaro enough to use it safely in matches and he really wants to push himself to find good counters to the ability. It takes a long time but he does eventually find a few that work reasonably well (don't ask me what they are, my brain is basicly just a small plastic dinosaur toy)

Neither of them like p.d.a. much, especially jotaro. The most they are comfortable with is occasional hand holding but even that they wouldn't do around strangers. Jotaro gets super self-conscious about it and it makes him feel like he's being weak and vulnerable. Kakyoin just thinks p.d.a. is rude

They don't really do pet names either except for ONE. They were joking one day about how awkward they think pet names are and how they don't like them. Jotaro jokingly calls kakyoin "angel" and kakyoin realizes that he actually really likes that one and that one ALONE. jotaro likes to say that it doest suit him and he still finds it kind of awkward, but he will still call kakyoin "angel" occasionally because he knows he likes it. (And because its easier to sweet talk him into things when he uses it agfjdjfj)

Jotaro fell in love with kakyoin way before kakyoin fell in love with him. Jotaro started really feeling for kakyoin about mid way through their trip, but kakyoin didn't realize that he was in love with jotaro until a while after they got back to japan. Kakyoin was still processing what having friends feels like for the first time. I think he would have needed a calmer, non-life threatening environment to process all that and sort his emotions out.

Their relationship would best be described as queer platonic, though I don't think they would ever use that word. Its a semi-romantic, non sexual, and deeply committed relationship. Their commitment to eachother and level of emotional intimacy is outside the range of a typical friendship, but they don't really know how to distinguish if their feelings are platonic or romantic.. They would have a really hard time defining their relationship and they would never really know if it was platonic, romantic, or something in-between. So they just gave up decided to do whats best for them without really labeling it. That, the lack of p.d.a., and the fact that they call eachother their "partner" instead of "boyfriend" tends to confuse a lot of people

They have a sort of separation anxiety for a while after the trip. Kakyoin is worried that jotaro only really liked him for his utility in fights and now that they aren't fighting for their lives, jotaro will get bored of him and leave. Jotaro is irrationally afraid that kakyoin will suddenly die or just dissapear entirely. They tend to visit eachother or atleast call for a few hours once a day for a several months after returning to Japan. They eventually return to being able to maintain a healthy distance when its necessary, but it take them a while

Holly LOVES kakyoin. she would really treat him like a second son and kakyoin would find it easy to confide in her. He would also help her around the house and with cooking and things too. They just get along really well

Kakyoin's parents do not like jotaro much. They sort of blame him for kakyoin "running away". And they think he's a bad influence. They don't say much though because this is the first time they have seen their son have a friend and be this happy. Their interactions with jotaro are still pretty tense though

Both of their love language are bullying and info dumping

Ok their ACTUAL love languages are quality time(jotaro) and acts of service(kakyoin)

Jotaro is the little spoon, enough said

Jotaro thinks kakyoin is hilarious (this i take as 100% canon)

Jotaro's favorite qualities of kakyoin's are his strength/confidence and his ability to understand him

Kakyoin's favorite qualities of jotaro's are how caring he is and his selflessness

Both of them keep in contact with polnareff after the trip. Particularly kakyoin who calls him atleast once a week and schedules his calls so they're at a reasonable hour in France, even if that means staying up super late

That being said, polnareff had no idea that jotaro and kakyoin were together until like 2 years after they started dating. They both just kind of assumed the other one had told him already.

Despite them being in a gay relationship themselves, they love to bully polnareff and Abdul for acting gay. Gay and homophobic kings

#jotakak is a good ship actually just not when people do it like That tm #jotakak #jotaro/kakyoin #long post #noriaki kakyoin #jotaro kujo #jjba #headcanons #jjba spoilers #sdc spoilers

[sapphicsandscience]

Heartbeats & Hormones (Kerry/Sandy fanfiction)

The product of a late night viewing of Tell Me Where It Hurts and whatever the hell my brain has going on in there. (Gets a tiny bit, well, smut-ish, in the second part.)

“Kerry, Sandy,” Manyard acknowledged warmly as she slipped into the OB exam room. “Happy to see you both could make it today.”

“She nearly had me come up through the morgue entrance,” Sandy quipped, standing up and placing her arm on Kerry’s lower back.

Kerry scoffed. “Don’t listen to her. She is exaggerating.”

Though now that Sandy had mentioned it, the morgue entrance may have been a good idea. At least easier than the awkward separate arrivals they had to coordinate this morning. Well, that Kerry had coordinated. Sandy was just forced along. It had been timed down to the minute by Kerry, when and where they would enter the hospital and how they would make their respective ways up to OB ensuring that minimum suspicion would be raised. After a nearly ten-minute explainer by Kerry in the car this morning, Sandy had jokingly threatened to just walk straight into the ER and announce that they were expecting.

“Thank you again for fitting us in with such short notice, we really appreciate it. Don’t we Sandy?” Kerry looked up to Sandy, seeking reassurance by sinking slightly more into her side. Even though everything had been textbook since the blood results had confirmed the pregnancy, the nerves still ate away at her every time she was at an appointment like this.

This was very likely her one and only chance.

“We do.”

Mayard smiled. “No problem, though since I am a bit pressed for time we’ll just get you to put the gown on and sit up on the bed,” She passed the hospital gown over to Kerry. Turning her back to the couple, she went to set up the monitor. “If I remember correctly you would have seen your specialist sometime last week?”

Sandy helped Kerry quickly semi-undress, holding her crutch as she climbed out of her shirt. Kerry shivered as Sandy tied the back of the gown at her neck.

“Yes, everything was fine,” Kerry answered, flattening the fabric down over her front. “But Sandy, she hasn’t heard the heartbeat yet.”

“Which is kind of why we wanted to come in today,” Sandy finished Kerry’s thought, resting the crutch against the wall after realizing it would not be needed for this next part.

“I’m sure we can rectify that today,” Manyard turned back around. “You good to go?”

Kerry nodded and positioned herself up onto the exam bed into a sitting position as Manyard directed. Sandy moved to the other side of the bed, coming up behind Kerry and placing a kiss into the back of her hair when she was sure Manyard was sufficiently distracted. She leaned forward, both hands gripping Kerry’s that was pressed against the mattress.

She involuntarily flinched at the coldness of the gel on her exposed skin, the knot in her stomach twisting vigorously with the suspense. She wondered if the doctor before her could tell how nervous she suddenly was. She hoped not. She wanted to be calm and collected, like doctors should be, especially in front of colleagues.

Only she wasn’t just a doctor anymore.

She was going to be mom now.

Kerry could tell Sandy was also growing a little nervous. She could feel her breaths against her neck, eliciting a warm tingling dizzy throughout her body that had only been heightened recently, but her normal calm breathing pattern had changed with the excitement.

Kerry squeezed her hand the moment an image appeared on the monitor.

They both waited. Breaths hitched in their throats. Hands intertwined.

“There it is,” Kerry lit up at the sound. “You can see his heartbeat.”

And with that, both of their bodies lightened as they allowed themselves to breathe.

Maynard frowned. “You can tell it's a boy? Because I can't.”

“No, it's just a...figure of speech,” Kerry shook her head slightly, not able to draw her eyes away for even a split second. “It's just a pronoun.”

“Are you hoping for a boy?”

“Not particularly. I mean, a boy would be nice,” Kerry replied. “But I...we don't care.”

“I don't even really want to know,” She looked over to Sandy for her input, but her eyes were even more glued to the image of their child than her own.

“As long as it's healthy, right?” The OB concluded with a smile.

“It’s so fast,” Sandy said, mesmerized by the rhythmic lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.  

“Fast. And very strong,” Maynard quenched any concern that may have been in Sandy’s voice.  “Just how it should be.”

_______________________________________________

“Can you pass me my shirt,” Kerry said as she zipped up her pants. “Sandy?”

Sandy however remained lent against the counter on the opposite side of the exam room. Maynard had excused herself a little while ago, needing to get back on to rounds and the two were getting ready to leave before someone found them up here.

Or at least Kerry was.

A flirtatious smile governed Sandy’s face as she bit down on her bottom lip. All the pent-up nervous excitement had now transferred itself into something slightly different.  

“What are you looking at?” Kerry asked, doing her best not to look Sandy in the eye and give in.

“You.”

“Well stop it,” She replied, reaching for her pager. Something to distract from this.  

“You look beautiful.”

Kerry rolled her head back with a sigh. “Sandy, I’m standing here in my bra, please my shirt,” Kerry extended her hand out. “Anyone could walk in!”

She instinctively hugged her chest, though the pressure caused her to grimace. Her breasts had been sore of late and all of her delicate lace bras had been pushed to the back of the drawer for the foreseeable future. Though it was clear that the less-than-sexy wireless T-shirt bra that she was currently sporting wasn’t exactly putting off Sandy.  

“Okay, okay,” Sandy laughed and passed over the shirt. “What’s it like? The fact that there’s an actual baby in there,” Sandy rested her hands against each side of her lower stomach and looked downwards.

“It’s nice...I mean I can’t feel anything, not yet,” She started to fiddle with the buttons of her shirt but a pair of hands soon pulled her fingers down gently.

Sandy began to fix up the buttons until she got distracted. Again.

“What are you doing now?”

“Kissing you,” Sandy replied smartly.

Kerry tried to resist but she couldn’t quite manage to draw her lips away from Sandy and before she knew the pair was less than a step away from making out on the exam bed behind them.

“We can’t do this here,” Kerry managed to slur out between breaths, though her body did not seem to want to cooperate.

Sandy moved closer to Kerry, their bodies now touching and Kerry was pushed further back against the side of the exam bed. She tried to ignore it but her breasts were now pressed against Sandy’s chest and their increased sensitivity led to a new but amorous tender sensation.

For a few seconds, their inhibitions escaped them both.

Sandy slid her hand below Kerry’s pants hem, momentarily resting her thumb over the protrusion of her hip bone before moving further down onto her outer thigh. Her skin was warm and soft, though a cooler hand soon gripped lightly onto her wrist.

“Stop, I have to work, Sandy,” Kerry lightly protested, a giggle in her throat as Sandy’s hand came dangerously close to her inner thigh.

“I’m just kissing you. Aren’t I allowed to kiss my wife?”

“You are not just kissing me,” She rebutted, eyes wide. “And it’s not fair, you know how I am feeling, you’ll get me all…”

“Get you all what…?”

“Flustered.”

Sandy surrendered and took a step back. “Is that right?” She said, returning to the buttons on Kerry’s shirt. “Dr. Weaver all flustered. That’s something I'd like to see,” She teased.

Kerry rolled her eyes. “I’m the one with hormones racing through me, what the hell is your excuse?!”

“How often do we both get the afternoon off?” Sandy said. “Do you really have to go back to work now?”

“That’s the point, I don’t actually have the afternoon off,” She said breathlessly, reaching back to pick up her bag off the exam bed once she was fully dressed.

Though the words held little weight to her. It was too late. She was flustered.

“But, for you, I suppose I could just come back in a few hours.”

Kerry didn’t quite make it back into work that day.  

#er fanfiction #kerry weaver #sandy lopez #Sandy/Kerry #my writing #season 9 #emergency room #i apologise in advance #idk what happened to me #also apologise for writing this and not my actually wip #fanfiction

[ticklikeabomb]

The Medusas - Part 3

Pairing : Mayans MC x Plus Size Reader ; Ezekiel ‘EZ’ Reyes x Plus Size Reader (platonic) 

Warnings : Language, Angst, Mention of Depression

Word Count : 2.9k

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe where they were created and interact in. This series/fiction is only for entertainment purposes.

A week passed, then a second. You were still in shock and denial regarding the fight you had with EZ. His words kept repeating themselves like an earworm. You couldn’t believe he felt that way towards you since the beginning, just someone to pass time. “She didn’t impose herself compared to others.” You couldn’t stop that destructive voice in your head, questioning if he was the only one feeling that way. What about your father? Did you also imposed yourself in some type of way, not giving him the choice in guarding you? Is it why your birth parents left you, abandoned you? These thoughts left you in a dark place and you slowly started pushing people away. You gradually cut contact with your friends, not in the mood to talk or hang around with them anymore. Your new state preoccupied your father but also the other club members who were used to see you constantly smiling.

It didn’t help going to the same high school with EZ’s girlfriend. Life was playing tricks on you, testing your patience by putting her constantly on your path. She would either totally dismiss your presence or at the contrary, provoke you by speaking loud enough about EZ to her friends, knowing you would hear her. You couldn’t count how many times you left the room or cafeteria, sick of hearing her. What switched your denial to anger occurred a few months later, at the end of school year. You were exiting the classroom, making your way outside, when you saw EZ twirling Emily in a hug and kiss her passionately in the middle of the school entry. When he dropped her to the ground, his eyes met yours and his joyful smile vanished. You felt stuck to the ground, not being able to move from the scene. His eyes then dropped to the ground before taking Emily’s hand in his and turning around, making his way to the truck. In that moment, your heart finished breaking itself to pieces.

You felt sick to your stomach. Running from the place, you arrived at the Romero Brothers junkyard devastated. Your eyes landed on a semi-broken car and a metal bar beside it. Grabbing the bar, you began smashing the car’s windows, the hood, every part you could hit on, letting all your frustrations out. Your outburst reached the Mayans’s ears who immediately left the Temple and ran to the commotion. The bikers witnessed a side of you they didn’t know you had: the fury, the anger, rage. Bishop wanted to take a step towards you when he was stopped by Marcus, shaking his head. “She needs it”, was the only thing the President said. Your breathing and voice started to shake. Your motions stopped, the metal bar falling from your grip, the rage being replaced by waves of tears, shaking your whole body. That was the moment Bishop chose to slowly walk to you and engulf you into his arms, his action making you whimper even louder. “Shh it’s gonna be ok”, he whispered in your ear while soothing you the best he could. He walked you back inside, the others following close, each one patting your shoulder in support of whatever you were mentally facing. Alvarez told his cousin to take the weekend.

After your outburst, Bishop was walking on eggs around you. He didn’t know how to approach you and help. He decided to ask his former lover for advice and visited Martha at the shop. She greeted him with a smile but quickly noticed the tension on his body. She knew him like the palm of her hand. “What’s going on?”, she asked worried. He chuckled slightly, “You were always able to read me like an open book.” “We used to date for a while back in the day”, she jokingly reminded him. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”, he asked her to which she nodded and told him to follow her back to her office. He scratched his neck before telling her the way you were behaving lately. “I need advice. I don’t know what to do, what to say anymore. I don’t want her shutting down on me if I push too much.” Martha listened closely before replying, “Just tell her you’re there whenever she needs to talk. Give her the choice to reach out to you. She might do or not but if not, don’t take it personally, she will eventually tell you when she feels like it’s the right time.” He nodded at her declaration and said, “I can do that.” “You know, first heartbreaks are tough for everyone but it will pass with time”, she slowly said and looked at her lap. Her words hit the man like a train. ‘Heartbreak’. Things were clearer now. He suspected your mood being because of the fight with EZ but he never thought that you felt more than platonic feelings towards the guy. He reached out to her and thanked her before asking how she’d been. The continued catching on while on your side, you were at the club putting your notebook inside your bag when Alvarez entered the room.

His eyes landed on you, analyzing your tense posture, the joy evaporated from your irises, the corner of your lips down. He grabbed a drink and seated beside you. “What’s going on with you mija?”, he asked, voice laced with concern. “I’m just tired it’s all”, you replied. “The famous code used by woman to end a conversation”, he chuckled before turning to his serious self. “Don’t lie to me.” He noticed your jaw clenching. Looking at him, you whispered with a small voice, “I’m a burden to everyone. Obispo should have left me with the other kids.” Alvarez’s features darkened. Trying to control himself, he took your hands in his. “Look at me cariño. I hope I will never hear you say such absurdities ever again. You are not a burden and never will be. Bishop took you in because he knew, the second he looked at you, how special you are and he isn’t the only one who instantly knew. He chose you to be his daughter. You’re family! Don’t ever forget that. You’re Y/N Losa.” He pronounced every word with conviction and you saw no lie in his eyes. Nodding to him, you apologized and stood up. “I should go”, you commented before giving him a side hug. Reaching the door, your turned around and called after him. “Thank you”, you said and saw him nod in acknowledgement.

Ringing, the alarm announced the end of class and the beginning of summer break. You were finally free of her vision, her comments and her attitude. After a conversation with Bishop where he followed Martha’s advice, he noticed that your mood improved. He also noticed you spending all of your time with Coco and Angel. It didn’t enchant him but as long as you were feeling better it was all that mattered. On the other side, he knew that you would be save with Coco and that if we crossed the line, he had a gun and knife attached on him, ready to deal with the sniper. Hanging with Coco and crew also made you more interested in bikes and mechanics. They thought you how to change and fix them, shoving the different brands, designs and how to ride one. That’s how you would spend most of your days.

“Can I ask you something?”, you turned to Coco. His gaze landed on you while exhaling the smoke from his cigarette, “Yeah what?” “Since you were a sniper, could you teach me how to shoot?” He narrowed his eye, one of his eyebrows lifting in confusion before stating a bland “No.” “Why not?” “Because I’m too young to die by the hands of your old man.” You chuckled slightly before getting serious again. “Come on man.” He shook his head, finishing his cigarette and serving himself a beer. “I already told you no.“ You sighed in defeat and stood up, leaving but not after mumbling a “Asshole” under your breath. “Hey, I heard you”, he shouted after you. “Good”, you replied and showed him the finger. “Bitch” he whispered under his breath.

You saw him a few days later at the club and decided to play stubborn, giving him the cold shoulder. His gaze kept drifting to you, trying to figure out why you would ask him such a thing. Your little bratty game was getting on his nerve and he sat down on the couch beside you. “Why?”, was the only word leaving his lips. You took a gulp of your soft drink before turning towards Coco. “Just a precaution. Look around you, everyone is at risk at any second. Don’t you think, everyone should be able to defend themselves or others when necessary. Besides it’s a dangerous world for women out there”, you simply stated the obvious. He couldn’t deny you had good arguments. “What about him?”, he pointed with his beer to the VP. “I don’t want him to know. It’s just our little secret.” The man beside you closed his eyes for a second before agreeing on teaching you. A huge smile crossed your features and you bumped against his shoulder. “Yeah yeah, you just signed my death arrest”, he mumbled before taking a gulp. You laughed at him but assured him it will be fine and no one would know about it. How wrong you were.

Your lessons with Coco were intense, requiring all your concentration. He told you the names and properties of different gun models; taught you how to correctly use each one of them to the point that after several months you were able to use each one perfectly, the student surpassing the teacher. Every time you would tease him, he would feign annoyance and curse your sassiness out but deep down he was proud of you. “Now that I can handle this, do you know how to box?”, you asked him one day. He opened his mouth, transpiring frustration. “Perra you really out here testing my nerves, aren’t you?” “You’re funny, how do I defend myself if I’m in danger and don’t have a gun in my possession?”, you asked him a hand on your hip. He sighed heavily and shook his head. “I’ll ask Creeper to give us a hand with that”, he finally confessed and saw you smirk in victory. “This was only supposed to be between us”, he pointed at you annoyed. “Gracias Coco”, you bat your eyelashes to which he side-eyed you, making you laugh. That’s how another club member joined your little secret. While you were training with Creeper, your father arrived earlier from his run and saw you in the ring. Stepping out from his Harley, he walked closer. “What the fuck is going on here?”, he asked. You simply shrugged and told him you were helping Creeper train. Your dad narrowed his eyes at you but you didn’t phase. He then turned to the other man and warned him, “If you hurt her, you’ll have to deal with me.” “Yes boss.” Your eyes met Coco who only shook his head.

---

In the meantime, on the other side of the spectrum, the Reyes tried to convince EZ to go to college. “We already had that conversation”, he replied to his dad. “I understand that you had an agreement with Emily but you can’t put your future on hold like that”, continued Felipe. “God you sound just like Y/N”, sighed EZ. “And she is right”, interfered Marisol and took his son’s hand. “Mira, if Emily really care and loves you, she will understand. You have to think about you and if it implies you break a promise for the greater good then that’s what you have to do. You can check the environment, search for a future apartment for both of you but do all of that while you attend classes.”

“I already missed the first semester anyway. There no point in going now. I’ll have to wait for the next school year”, replied EZ. Felipe stood up not having the force to continue the conversation followed closely by Marisol. “Alright. In the meantime, I think you should fix whatever happened between you and Y/N. I know you are hurt. I can see it but she was always there for you”, exclaimed EZ’s mom before leaving her son reflect on her comment. He isolated himself in his room, thinking about his mother’s words and realized his parents were right. He made his way to Emily’s and informed her of his decision to leave and start visiting for a place to live. 

That’s when their first fight occurred and it only got worst when he told her his plan on apologizing and talking to you. “Why would you do that? She tried to break us up. Why are you doing this to me?”, she shouted out. “Em, I only want to make things right. I wasn’t exactly the nicest to her and she probably said those things because she felt threatened. You never got the chance to really get to know each other and I don’t know what do you want me to tell you.” “That’s bullshit. She was the one who didn’t give me a chance. I’ve tried to be nice to her but she kept provoking me with her friends”, the brunette lied. “I know Y/N and she would never do that”, replied EZ, projecting more fuel to the braze. Emily scoffed, “This is gonna be very simple EZ: either you believe me and stay with me or you go to her, apologize and we’re over”, she stated. “Em, come on”, he tried to resonate her. She walked to the door, opened it and made sure he got the hint. It’s with a heavy heart that he stepped closer to the door and closed it, choosing Emily. 

He left a few months later to Stanford, establishing himself there before starting off his first year.

2009 - 2010

The club was discussing at the table when they heard a knock. Annoyed by the interruption, Alvarez nodded at Creeper to open the door. He stepped aside, revealing you behind it. Alvarez motioned you to come inside and noticed your nervousness. “I’m sorry, I know no one can interrupt you when you’re in the Temple but I have something important to request.” The President looked at his cousin who nodded and granted you to talk. You took a deep breath before exclaiming with your head high, “I want to be part of the club. One of you, a Mayan.”

After what felt like an eternity, the silent room filled itself with laughter. “Honey, you can’t be a Mayan member. It doesn’t work like that”, responded your dad. “I know, I’ll be Prospect for a year and then if you judge me worthy, I’ll become a full patched member. I know the rules.” Alvarez’s smile disappeared and he declared, “What we mean is that we don’t take in women and even if we did, it’s a no.” “But, I…” “Marcus told you NO”, Bishop interrupted you firmly. Your eyes wandered around the room and there it was again. That familiar feeling of rejection and embarrassment that went along with it. Your fists clenched and your gaze landed on the floor, refusing for them to see your angry tears. You burst out of the room, fuming and headed home.

Once in your room, you looked around and felt disgusted. “I can’t stay here anymore”, you told yourself out loud. You grabbed the essentials and packed your backpack, your decision to leave final. You wrote a letter to your father explaining him you couldn’t stay and needed to figure yourself out. When he came home, you pretended to be asleep on your bed and felt his lips leave a kiss on your forehead. Your fists clenched under the blanket, fighting your tears and selfishness of leaving the one that saved you 13 years ago. As soon as you made sure that he was asleep, you got out of the house and vanished.

The next morning, Bishop stood up and softly entered your room, checking if you were still asleep. At his surprise, your bed was made. He made his way to the kitchen calling out your name but you were nowhere in sight. He grabbed his phone and dialed, your ringtone blasting in the living room. When he entered the room, his heart stopped beating. Displayed on the table was your phone, ID and an envelope. A sense of fear overcame him and the letter only confirmed his suspicion.

Dear Father,

I’m sorry it has to be on these circumstances but I don’t have the strength to face a fourth rejection like the one that happened earlier today. I’m lost and I need to find myself, who I really am and what I really want. I can’t do it while staying in Santo Padre. You don’t deserve this act of selfishness. You saved me once and I could never thank you enough for the life you gave me. I’m truly and deeply sorry. I hope you will find the strength to forgive me some day.

Te amo mucho, Y/N Losa

He immediately called Alvarez and the Mayans proceeded in checking on the most logical places: train & bus stations, hospitals, your friends, at Martha’s, at the Carniceria, your favorite spots but in vain. It was like you disappeared from the face of the globe. Bishop was devastated and couldn’t stop reading the letter, smashing everything he could find before bursting in tears. The rest of the club was also devastated, feeling like they’ve lost a daughter themselves while Coco, on his side, was furious, feeling like you tricked him.

*gifs, credit to the owners*

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#mayans mc x plus size reader #mayans mc x reader #Mayans MC #mayans fx #ezekiel reyes x plus size reader #ezekiel reyes x reader #ezekiel reyes #obispo bishop losa #bishop losa #coco cruz #plus size fanfiction #plus size reader #fanfiction #the medusas series #marcus alvarez #emily thomas #creeper vargas

[twinkleimagines]

✨This one time at band camp✨

Summary: you and Tom have been band buddies since middle school and have made it to college together. You’re finally ready to confess your love for him when he meets someone else. Is it too late?

⚠️⭕️ ( smut and language included)

“Save me a seat would ya?” Tom yelled out while sticking a dollar in the vending machine right outside the band room.

“ sure thing Tom” you said while picking up your trumpet (you can pick what instrument you want) and Toms , heading out to the bus. “ it’s not like I have anyone else to sit with” you joked before exiting through the double doors outside. Your school was on its way to yours and Toms third year of band camp. It was a two week overnight stay at the camp to get as much practice in for the upcoming football season, but it was also your favorite thing ever because it gave you two weeks straight to be with Tom.

You’ve been in love with that brown eyed boy since freshman year . It felt as if it were meant to be. Your careers were in mostly the same paths, and he was your best friend. Nobody knew you like Tom. But he always had eyes for other people, girls that looked nothing like you. He even said one time that it was ‘ gross’ when someone asked if the two of you were a couple. After that , the idea of telling the truth was a no go.

You plopped down in your seat, grabbing out your tablet for you and Tom to share . You always watched movies together because the bus ride to camp was almost 4 hours long and it gave you an excuse to lay your head on him and fall asleep. You really wanted to tell him this yeah during band camp. You were worried about the friendship status and where it would go if he rejected you, but at the same time you couldn’t handle it anymore. You wanted him to love you more than just a best friend.

“ scoot” Tom said while putting his trumpet under the bus seat. “ did you bring any snacks?” He asked. You nodded unzipping one of the pockets on your duffel bag. Tom grinned real big before reaching in and grabbing him one. “ so what movie are we going to watch this time?” He asked looking over at you. God that sincere smile of his is just so calming. Sometimes you couldn’t believe such a beautiful guy was YOUR best friend.

“ they finally came out with the second amazing spider man” you said excitedly .     

“ I saw! Is that what we’re watching?” He beamed. You nodded before grabbing the tablet and putting the movie up.

Most of the ride to camp was silent . Tom was just innocently watching the movie but you couldn’t help but day dream the whole time. Your eyes constantly looking at his hands, up his arms, you’d look at his reflection in the tablet, watching his lips open slightly when an intense scene came on , or when he’d get uncomfortable he’d move around, looking over at you asking if you were okay. “ are you tired?” He whispered. You looked up nodding while yawning. “ well come here” he said pulling you towards him.you snuggled up against his chest , his arm wrapping over your shoulder. You felt him lay his head down on yours, his chest rising up and down as he took steady breaths. Before you knew it you were fast asleep.

“Y/n” you heard faintly . “Y/n” Tom said while slightly shaking your shoulder.

“ huh” you said sitting up some.

“Wake up we’re here” he said before standing up and stretching. You damn near drooled when you saw his shirt lift up, his happy trail showing , veins and abs. When did he get so ripped? You quickly looked away, grabbing your duffel bag before he noticed you staring.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this again for the third time” he beamed excitedly while looking out the window towards the buildings and field.

“ I know and we get to do it together “ you said looking at him, admiring his face, again.

“ well duh” he smirked before grabbing his stuff and walking down the aisle. It took you a minute to get off the bus, struggling to get your bags and instrument off , and by the time you got off Tom was no where in sight . You sighed in frustration. Tom always waits for you so you don’t lose each other. Where could he be?

You sat for a second , looking around before grabbing your phone out calling him.

“ hey” he answered.

“ where the heck did you go , you just left me here” you said semi jokingly butt hurt.

“ oh I’m by the C building, I had to meet up with someone. come over” he said. ‘C building ?’ You thought . That’s where the wood winds stay . What is he doing over there?

“ uhm okay? “ you responded before hanging up. It took you a minute before you got over ther, wondering who the hell he wanted you to meet. When you walked up though your heart sank.

Crystal, the most wanted girl in your band . She was a flute player, long perfectly soft wavy golden brown hair, teeth that sparkles in the light everytime she smiled, blue eyes that you could notice a mile away. And a flirtatious laugh. Don’t forget her perfect figure. You could see that Tom was blushing while talking to her and she kept playing with her hair.

‘ no no no’ you thought . This literally cannot be happening .

“ hey Tom “ you said while walking up to him. “ you ready to go put our stuff up? “ you asked trying your hardest to take the attention off of Crystal.

“ yeah just a sec, uh Y/n you remember Crystal?” He asked turning the attention right back to her.

“ hey y/n, I love your t-shirt!” She said overly nice. You knew it was fake without a doubt.

“ thanks “ you said with a fake smile. “ you play the flute right? “ you asked.

“ yup that’s me” she said smiling real big before flipping her hair . You looked at Tom who was looking at her in awe. He was mesmerized by her and it was honestly breaking your heart.

“ well I can see you guys are busy so I guess I’ll be on my way then” you said looking directly at Tom. He barely even acknowledged what you had said, just a quick yeah before starting a conversation with Crystal. You walked back to building B with your head down. Did you lose your opportunity to be with the person you truly loved? Has he found someone ? Tom had a handful of flings but he never looked at any of them the way he did Crystal.

It had been lunch time before you had heard from Tom again. The first day everyone really just spent the day roaming the area and having fun. You stood in line by yourself looking around At all the familiar and unfamiliar faces. This facility held all the surrounding college bands for their first two week practices so there were at least 3 different schools there.

“ thanks” you mumbled as you grabbed the tray from the lunch lady before finding an empty seat next to a couple of other kids. You were just so upset. How could he just drop you like that? You both always did everything together during band camp but because of this bimbo Crystal it was like you never existed.

You were picking around with your food when someone tapped your shoulder. It was Tom, thankfully.

“ y/n where were you ? We looked for you”

‘We?’ You thought . Sure enough walks up Crystal and another girl from the flute section and two guys from the drumline.

“ you were busy” you said glancing your eyes towards Crystal and her group before back at Tom.

“ no come sit with us “ he insisted. You hesitated for a second. You really didn’t want to sit and watch him and Crystal flirt but you wanted to be with Tom.

“ okay” you said grabbing your phone and tray before getting up and following them outside to a round table .

You sat directly across Tom, both flute girls sitting on the other side of him and you in between the drummers. They all conversated between themselves , laughter filling throughout the group. Crystal was mainly the center of attention the whole time, but you in the other hand just sat , listening. No one really even acknowledged that you were there.

Not even Tom. You started to feel sick to your stomach. This was not your crowd at all. You didn’t fit in. And you knew Crystal was only really interested in Tom because he had been working out and his body was maturing. She didn’t know him like you did though and that’s what upset you the most.

By the time the day was over with , you were in your bunk in tears. At this point it felt it like you had no one to spend band camp with . You had lost your best friend. He’s had girlfriends before but he never left you out like this before. You were almost asleep when you felt your phone vibrate under your pillow. It was Tom.

T: wyd?

Y: sleepin 😴 y?

T: well wake up and come outside😬

You could feel your heartbeat speeding up. Finally . You quickly put your t shirt on over your tank top and slipped on your tennis shoes before sneaking out before anyone could catch you.

“ boo!” Tom yelled while grabbing your arms.

“ damn you! “ you jumped , turning around to look at him. God he was just so beautiful.

“ I’ve missed you today why were you being so distant “ he asked while hugging you. You wanted to tell him but you didn’t want to sound like a possessive friend.

“ no reason I just wasnt really feeling all that good” you said pulling away from the hug. “ nerves kicking in I guess” you said shrugging it off.

“ oh. Welcome with me” he said grabbing your hand. “ I got a cool Hang out spot” he beamed while walking towards the field . Finally , you get to have Tom all to yourself. Maybe this would be the perfect time to really tell him how you fe-

‘What the fuck. ‘ you thought as you saw Crystal and her Group of friends sitting by the pond.

“ really Tom” you blurted out, unintentionally you pulled your hand away from him and start walking, causing him to turn around in confusion. 

“ what? What’s wrong?” He asked, putting his hand on your arm. You sighed heavily . It’s too late now just go ahead and say it.

“I don’t even know these people” you said throwing your hand up towards the group .

“ I know that’s the whole point of bringing you here so you could get to know them” he said excitedly, as if he had some great big plan. You scoffed crossing your arms looking away from him. “ look Crystal and I started talking at the end of the school year last year and we hung out a few times over the summer . I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t know if anything was going to come out of it but then these last couple of weeks things started escalating and .. well I really really like her and you won’t even give her a chance” he said pulling you closer towards him. You could feel the lump forming in the back of your throat. This was all wrong. This wasn’t how the weekend was suppose to go.

“Hey..” he said, lifting your chin up as a tear fell down your cheek. “ why are you crying y/n ? What’s wrong?” He asked sincerely worried.

“ because I can’t do this” you cried out, your voice trembling.

“ what? Do what? What are you talking about y/n?” He said stepping back from you, confusion written over his face.

“ I love you “ you cried out , your voice cracking while more tears started pouring down your face.

“ y/n I love you too I - I don’t understand what’s wrong” he said , panicking.

“ no Tom I love you” you explained, throwing your hands down . He stopped and stared at you with his eyes wide, finally realizing what you were insinuating. “ I’ve been in love with you for years now but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship” you said softly while losing your head. “ I was going to tell you but then you showed up with perfect Crystal and it was like you had no time for me . “ you said looking back up at him, wiping some of your tears away. “ but it’s clear you don’t feel the same way about me “ you said shaking your head.

“Y/n..” he said softly reaching out for your hand but you quickly snatched it away.

“ and I’m sorry but I’m not going to sit here and just be a third wheel to your new relationship. It’s clear you don’t need me anymore” you said looking back at him. “ you’ve got your other friends now”. You stated before turning around walking away. You heard him call your name a few times but you kept walking. You couldn’t bare it anymore.

*To be continued *

#tom holland smut #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #Tom Holland fan fiction smut #smut

[sheerbeautyreigns]

DESIRE

Part 25

Joe awoke to the smell of coffee the next morning. Slowly, he lifted his head off the pillow, bleary eyed trying to get his bearings. It was a beautiful sunny morning. Paul had opened the windows so he could hear the birds outside. Paul came into the room holding a small tray with two cups. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a loose pair of shorts. “Aah you’re finally awake.” He commented, setting the tray on the dresser and approaching the bed.

“What time is it?” Joe sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Almost eleven. You must’ve been worn out after yesterday.” Paul handed a cup of coffee to Joe. “Thank you. What time did you get up?”

“About seven. Went for a run, did some more cardio. It’s beautiful out. I figure we could have a chilled day by the pool, some proper downtime.” The older man got into the bed with his coffee. “That’d be nice. I can’t remember the last time I had a few days off to just chill. There’s always something to do at home or someone to see.”

“Well, it won’t all be chilled. If I have anything to do with it.” Paul smirked, taking a sip. “Oh I don’t doubt it. Last night was…pretty full on.”

“I loved it. You were so good for me. Do you hurt?” Paul asked. “A little but I think it hurt a lot more last night.”

“Well it’s something you can get used to. I’m glad you didn’t mind it so much though.” Paul set his coffee aside and whipped the covers off Joe. His semi hard cock rested on his abdomen. The older man crawled on top of him, taking his cup from him and set it on the bedside table. He ran his fingers through his wild morning hair while kissing him and nuzzling at his neck before lowering down his chest. His teeth playfully gripped a Joe left nipple, causing the young man to gasp. He gripped Paul’s muscular shoulders as he moved down to his abdomen. He started pumping at Joe shaft, making it immediately hard, a lustful look in his hazel eyes.

“Oh god, yes…” Joe moaned shutting his eyes as Paul took the tip in his mouth. He was so good on Joe cock, knew just how to get it on the edge, enough to make him cum but enough to hold out, leave him begging for more. Joe gripped the pillows on either side of him, spreading his legs further as Paul jacked him off, fishing him furiously. “Cum for me baby,” Paul growled in his gravely tone. A wicked smiled crossed his face as his cum spurted up, across Joe abdomen. His head fell back on the pillow, spent. “Thank fuck…” he breathed, palming his forehead. “Don’t move.” Paul said leaning towards the nearby drawer, pulling out some wet wipes. Carefully, he cleaned the mess off his hands and Joe. “Thank you,” Joe smiled as Paul leaned in to kiss him. “I should make you breakfast for that.”

The older man got off the bed. “Don’t even think about it. You’re my guest. I want to spoil you.” Joe rose up to meet him, wrapping his arms around Paul’s waist, “You’re so bad, you know that?”

“Only when I want to be,” He smirked, grabbing Joe buttocks, causing him to wince. “Oh baby,” He remarked, feeling the welts. He turned him around and smiled at the sight of the bruised and marked skin. “Nice handy work if I do say so myself.” Paul was clearly proud of what he’d done. “Why don’t you jump in the shower and I’ll make us breakfast,” he said disappearing into the bathroom. Joe followed him. He pulled out a small tube of cream. “Put this on your ass after, it’ll help speed up the healing process.”

“Sure thing.” He kissed Joe again before heading downstairs.

The cool beads of water were welcoming. Joe was aching a little more than he was letting on but he didn’t want to make a fuss. Maybe he could sway Paul into giving him a massage by the pool later. As he washed himself, he thought about what he had seen in the secret room last night. It was probably only the half of it if he knew Paul well enough. He did like to surprise him. He turned the water off and stepped out. As he reached over for the towel by the sink, he caught his reflection. He turned around and surveyed the damage on his backside. His eyes widened at the sight.

Jesus Paul. Why do you have to be so fucked up?

Breakfast was delicious. Joe was touched that Paul had made such an effort and he still felt bad about not being able to help out. He stood by with a glass of orange juice watching as Paul loaded the dishwasher.

“Will you relax?” Paul barked jokingly, shutting the door and turning it on. “Besides, I’ll have my way with you later so just chill out until I tell you otherwise. Got it?”

“Yes Sir.” Joe said, defeated. “Good boy.” Paul responded taking his hand and leading him upstairs. He took him into his walk-in closet. It was so organised. Joe was impressed. He opened a drawer. “Plenty of swimwear to choose from in here baby. I have towels downstairs. I’m just going to set up so come down when you’re ready.”

“OK, thanks.” Joe smiled. He carefully went through the drawer, opting for a pair of black swimming trunks. He couldn’t remember the last time he was in a pool. He padded around the bedroom, putting his hair up in a bun, stopping to look out the opened window after slipping into the trunks. It looked so beautiful out. He went downstairs and out the back of the house to the pool area. Paul had set up a cooler with bottles of beer between two sun loungers. “Let me put that on for you.” Paul took the bottle of lotion from Joe and watched as he lay down on his stomach. He rested his chin on his forearms. The cool lotion was very welcome in this heat. Joe groaned as Paul expertly applied the lotion to his back. All he could hear was the light breeze and the sound of the lotion being massaged into his back. “Feeling better baby?” He cooed from behind.

“Mmmhmmm,” Joe responded feeling so relaxed. Some of the tension in his upper back was beginning to ease off. Paul really did have magic hands. “You’re spoiling me, you know that?”

“Well, I want to take care of my special boy. Because I’ll probably not be so nice to you later.” He laughed, leaning in and kissing his temple. Joe turned his head off in the direction of Paul and smirked. “All done, you can sit up now.”

Joe did as told while Paul stood up. Paul moved over to his lounger. Joe squirted a handful of lotion onto his hands and fanned it out on the older man’s broad back. He enjoyed taking his time doing this, giving his man some care and attention. “Thanks babe.” Paul acknowledged with a kiss on the lips. They both grabbed a beer and chilled out on the loungers for the next couple of hours, had some mild chat about work but it was all very relaxing until Joe opted to get into the pool.

Paul enjoyed watching him frolicking in the water after a few beers. This was the downtime he so desperately needed. His phone vibrated. Drew was calling. He grabbed it and went into the house while Joe continued to do some laps.

“Heyyyy,” he said with a smile as he walked into the living room, closing the door behind him. “What time are you due in?”

“I’m boarding in a few minutes so should be with you in a few hours.” Drew advised. “What are you guys up to?”

“Just relaxing by the pool. I figure we’d have a laid back day before you get here later.” Paul padded around the seating area.

“I’m looking forward to it. I take it you still haven’t said anything to Joe?” Drew checked. He felt bad about gatecrashing their downtime. “Not yet, kinda want it to be a surprise…why?”

“I just feel bad about just showing up. I don’t want him to be pissed off. He was really looking forward to this time with you.” Drew told him. Paul always loved how considerate he was. He sighed realising that he was probably right. He didn’t want any drama. “It’s OK, I”ll speak with him before you get here, don’t worry. Let me know when you land. I’m about 30 minutes from the airport.”

Paul ended the call and let out a long sigh. He returned to the pool area as Joe was just getting out of the water. Damn he looked sexy soaking wet and in his trunks. “You don’t know how lucky you are to have a pool.” He said grabbing the towel on his lounger and drying off. “I wish I had more time to use it.” Paul complained grabbing a couple of beers for them and setting back on his lounger. “Would be cool to make this happen again sometime. It’s so peaceful here, no worries, no prying eyes.” Joe smiled taking a sip of his cold beer, resting on the lounger. “I’m sure we can make that happen.” Paul looked over at him. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

He sat up in his lounger and set his feet on the ground. “I’ve got something planned which I hope will make you happier.”

“Something twisted knowing you.” Joe joked flashing his lovely smile. “Aaah you could say that.” Paul teased awkwardly. The smile disappeared from Joe face. “It is something twisted isn’t it?”

“Drew’s coming in a few hours.” Paul announced. Joe jaw dropped slightly. “What?”

“He’s boarding a flight from Florida as we speak.” Joe sat up, setting his beer aside. “You serious?” Paul nodded. “Why?”

“Because I invited him. You don’t seem too pleased.” The older man observed, reading the annoyance in Joe eyes. “I, I thought this was our time?” Paul reached out and took his hands. “It is our time. I thought you liked spending time with him?” Joe pulled away and stood up. “I do, but not like this? It’s too awkward. Why didn’t you check with me?” Paul stood up to meet him. “I don’t believe I have to ask your permission to do anything.” He said sternly, wanting to remind Joe of his place. Joe let out a frustrated sigh as he paced around the concrete. “What’s the big deal? We’ve all fucked each other at one point!”

“No! You’re wrong. You’ve never had me fuck you.” Joe corrected him. “That’s my choice. Besides, it doesn’t work with what we have.” Joe narrowed his eyes. “It’s always been your choice. Even before we started this relationship!”

“I thought this was what we agreed on? I make the decisions! I call the shots!” Paul roared, getting in Joe face. Joe was fuming. He turned away. “Don’t you turn your back on me when I’m speaking to you.” Joe stopped, refusing to look at him. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, blood starting to boil. Paul moved around to the front on him now. “I get it, you’re pissed off that I planned this without you knowing. If It’s any worth, I only asked him last night.” Paul had calmed his tone a little more now. “What was your plan, huh?” Joe asked staring into his eyes. “Like I said last night, I’d enjoy watching you two fuck…I’ve never seen you fuck another guy before.” Joe could feel his cock starting to stir at Paul’s words. He averted his gaze as Paul placed his hand on his growing bulge. “You’re getting turned on at the prospect. Aren’t you?” Joe eyes met his. “It’s just one night. That’s all I’m asking for.” Paul cupped his hand around Joe balls, squeezing them. A moan escaped his lips just before Paul leaned in and kissed him deeply. “One night.” Joe uttered finally. “Good boy.” Paul smiled.

#roman reigns #wwe #tribal chief #fic #fanfiction #roman reigns fic #smut #d/s #drew mcintyre #hhh #paul levesque

[sunshinebunnie]

Happy Holidays! If it strikes your creative fancy.. #14 with Bughead for the holiday prompts ask game!

**Squee** Thank you so much for this lovely ask, Sarah!! I hope you like it. 🤗🤗

Kissing Beneath the 23rd Floor

Jughead banged his head against the wall of the elevator when the greenish-orangish lights flickered for the umpteenth time. He hated living in the dorms, but the housing allowance that came with his writing scholarship couldn’t be transferred to off-campus housing (not that it would’ve covered anything other than 21st century tenement housing anyway given New York’s insane rents). As embarrassing as it was to be the only non-residential advisor junior living in a freshman/sophomore dorm, the housing office had at least done him the courtesy of securing him a single on the top floor. While he certainly couldn’t beat the view and he greatly appreciated not having to deal with the sounds of people having sex above him or puking in a trashcan five feet from his bed in the middle of the night, he was at the mercy of the latest and greatest in 1960s elevator technology. Nearly every other week, there were signs taped to the elevators banks indicating at least one or the other of the building’s elevators was out of commission because of repairs. 

The creaky metal box came to a shuddering stop at 14th floor. As the doors slowly opened with a protesting screech, Jughead found himself silently praying that some freshman had decided to play ding-dong-ditch with the elevators. Over the course of the semester, he’d quickly come to learn that the only thing worse than living in a dorm with antiquated facilities was living in a dorm with antiquated facilities with underclassmen. It had taken him a couple weeks, but he’d eventually managed to figure out the tell-tale signs that someone was a freshman and largely avoided getting on to the elevators with them: he’d been subjected one too many times to someone’s wide-eyed story about how it was their life dream to move to New York! as well as a couple awkward instances of being sloppily propositioned by drunk freshmen (men and women), not to mention the especially memorable time after midterms when a comp sci major bawled against his shoulder for sixteen floors because he’d flunked his coding exam. He held his breath as he waited to see whether one of Santa’s “lost elves” was about to get on the elevator with him (he’d already had thirteen unavoidable encounters this week). 

When no one immediately made to get on the elevator, he started to breathe a sigh of relief, only to tense up as a hand suddenly shot between the slowly closing doors. The disembodied appendage flailed for a second, trying to find the elevator’s sensor to signal that someone was trying to get on. As the doors continued shutting, he heard a muffled voice that sounded like it said ‘for fuck’s sake’ as the waving hand disappeared. For a split second, he considered just appreciating his good luck and enjoying the rest of his elevator ride (hopefully) in peace, but then he thought back to what time it probably was. It had already been after 11:30 when Archie’s gig had wrapped up, which meant it had to be nearing midnight or later. The only people he’d run into in his dorm that late at night who sounded as coherent as the person on the other end of the elevator doors were the residential advisors. With a heavy sigh, he reached for the “door open” button.

It took long enough for the doors to reopen that he was almost beginning to think he’d broken the elevator when a cheery, but tired-looking blonde stepped gracefully into the confined space. Her hunter green corduroy skirt was offset by a pristine cream-colored sweater covered with a tasteful motif of poinsettias made out of delicate red glass seed beads. If it had been anyone else, he would’ve immediately glanced at her feet to see if she was wearing the ubiquitous Uggs that nearly every sophomore girl in the building appeared to own; however, he recognized her ponytail. (He should’ve, after all, having been transfixed by it every Monday and Wednesday from 10 to 11:30 during their required survey course freshman year: Intro to Film Studies.) 

Betty Cooper. 

He’d wanted an excuse to talk to her, but had never worked up the nerve. Toni, Sweet Pea and Fangs had latched on to him for their group project within the first week of class, and she always seemed to be surrounded by some guy named Kevin and a forbidding brunette named Veronica. Out of all his friends, Toni seemed to be the only one who’d caught him mooning over her from time to time, and she’d jokingly given him shit that he should just bite the bullet and create an Instagram account so he could stalk her properly. 

Jughead was so caught up in his own memories that it took him a minute to realize she was giving him an odd look of searching recognition: it was a look he’d frequently gotten in high school when more popular people from Riverdale High would run into the “loner weirdo from the Southside” around town. Before he had a chance to confirm to her that yes, they did know each other, her green eyes lit up a little, and she said, “Jughead?”

Any ability he had to comprehend or communicate in English–or in any other way, for that matter–abandoned him as he stared dumbly at her in shock. When he didn’t initially respond, the small crinkles at the corners of her eyes started to smooth out as she repeated a little more tentatively, “It is Jughead, right? I remember you. From Film Studies? Freshman year? You always had really insightful comments on all the Hitchcock movies. I’m Bett…”

“…Betty Cooper. I remember,” he finished for her, his brain and his mouth having finally reconnected to one another. 

The tentative look she had was once again chased away by a tired smile as she acknowledged he recognized her too. Betty briefly turned to look at the floor buttons before giving her attention back to him. Having mutually confirmed that they knew each other, they settled back into that semi-awkward silence that tends to pervades elevators when the occupants know one another, but not well enough for casual conversation to come naturally. Jughead watched as she began to unconsciously worrying at the cuffs of her sweater before he said, “I didn’t realize you were one of the residential advisors here.”

Betty ducked her head to the side as she softly tittered for a second before replying, “Oh, that’s because I’m not. There’s a mold problem in my campus apartment, and facility services can’t take care of it until Monday. My friend Ethel is off skiing in the Poconos this weekend with her sorority sisters though, so she’s letting me crash in her room.”

He knew Ethel. She was one of the “motherly” advisors that the more homesick freshmen seemed to swarm around like gnats. Jughead had tried being cordial with her initially–like he was with most of the other upperclassmen in the building–but had started avoiding her more recently after she’d taken it into her head that she needed to Witness to him and had become hellbent on converting him. 

Before the awkward silence descended on them again, Betty prompted, “Do you like being an advisor?”

Jughead let out a dry laugh, which earned him a confused look from her, before he replied, “I’m not an advisor either.”

Betty’s face lit up for the briefest of seconds before her brows started knitting together again. Right as he was going to ask what was bothering her, she said, “You don’t strike me as the booty call type.”

As a creative writing major, Jughead rarely found himself speechless, yet Betty Cooper had managed to strike him dumb twice in under five minutes. He could only imagine how hard Toni would be laughing if she could see him now. His normal embarrassment at admitting he lived in the building was quickly overridden by his desire to disabuse her of the notion that he was somehow preying on young women who weren’t much older than jailbait. Closing his eyes for a second, he centered his thoughts, before steadily holding her gaze as he said seriously, “I’m not. I live here.”

The confusion on her face only deepened as she said, “But you said you’re not an advisor.”

He sighed. This was the explanation he hated getting into with other upperclassmen. He was supposed to be doing a semester abroad at a prestigious writing retreat; however, getting everything settled, he found out the stipend he’d been depending on to cover his living expenses for the four months he was there had been given to a “more challenged” candidate. Unable to make the financials work, he’d been forced to scrap his study abroad plan at the last minute. While getting into the classes he wanted hadn’t been too difficult (the benefit of being a faculty favorite within the department), sorting out his housing had proved much more difficult. Toni had wound up transferring to an all-women’s college upstate at the start of their sophomore year, while Sweet Pea and Fangs moved off campus. Without really knowing any other juniors or seniors, he hadn’t been able to get into a suite with anyone he knew he’d get along with, and he wasn’t willing to risk moving in with another psychotic like his freshman roommate, Malachai. When a freshman decided to de-enroll two weeks before the start of school, campus housing had shoved him into the newly available single and called it a day. 

Rather than get into his sob story with her, he opted for the decidedly more taciturn explanation: “There were complications with my study abroad program, and this was the only available housing left.”

Jughead paused, waiting for the invariable look that decried, ‘Seriously? You couldn’t find a single upperclassman to live with? What’s wrong with you?’ Before he could go on the defensive though, Betty turned soft green eyes full of genuine sympathy toward him as she said, “That must’ve been really frustrating for you. At least, I know when I had to cancel my study abroad plans it was really frustrating.”

A part of him wanted to snap that he didn’t need her pity, but the more rational side of him was able to squash the self-destructive impulse before he did something stupid—like act on it. Instead, he found himself giving her a small smile back as he said, “It was.” 

Silence settled back over them again, periodically broken up by high-pitched squealing from the elevator’s ancient cable wheel. By the time they’d reached the 19th floor, several minutes had passed without them speaking, and Betty had begun looking earnestly at her shoes to avoid the temptation to stare at the enigmatic man sharing the small space with her. She was just starting to daydream about what might’ve happened if she’d listened to Veronica freshman year and simply given him her phone number when she suddenly heard him ask, “What’s the occasion?” 

Her head popped up like a prairie dog at the unexpected question before she briefly glanced back down to take a look at her outfit. “This? No occasion,” she said with a slight blush, “A few of us from the student paper got together to watch the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center, then grabbed some drinks after.”

He nodded sagely, although in three years of living in Manhattan, it had never once occurred to him to go see a Christmas tree get lit up. The image of Betty standing in front of a comically large tree covered in twinkling fairy lights suddenly popped into his head—the whole idea seemed positively Rockwellian to him, and a small sardonic grin pulled at the edges of his mouth. At least, it did, until he realized Betty hadn’t gotten on the elevator at the ground floor, and his good humor quickly morphed into a scowl. “Seducing impressionable freshmen with the romantic holiday atmosphere, Mrs. Robinson?” he asked just dryly enough for it to still be considered a joke, but it was close. 

Betty’s eyes shot wide open, and for the briefest second, he thought she was going to slap him, but instead, she threw her head, her ponytail dancing in time with her tinkling laughter. “Hardly,” she said when she finally caught her breath. “More like letting Trev cry on my shoulder after finding out the guy he’s sort of been seeing this semester has a very serious girlfriend back home in Connecticut, who decided to come down for the weekend as a surprise.” 

Jughead winced. He didn’t know Trevor well, but he’d periodically shared a creaky elevator ride with the quiet ceramics major, and what happened to him was a shitty thing to go through. 

The elevator had just pulled passed the 20th floor when it let out a particularly loud whine of protest before coming to an abrupt halt. The sudden change in momentum caught them both by surprise. Although Betty valiantly attempted to stay upright, her efforts were for naught as Jughead slammed heavily into her with a loud oof. 

“Ow!” Betty cried as her hip slammed into the aluminum grab bar screwed to the wall of the elevator. 

“Sorry!” Jughead said, his hand reflexively dropping to Betty’s waist as he braced himself for the fall. 

His fingers feathered over a sliver of exposed skin on her back as her sweater rode up slightly, and she shivered a little from the unexpected contact. Jughead’s eyes dropped to her lips before sweeping back up to her face. A light blush spread across her cheeks as she looked up at him with something akin to longing, and his heart started to race. Her eyes flickered past his ear.

“Mistletoe,” she said breathily. 

“Huh?” he said as her captivating eyes settled back on his face.

“Someone hung mistletoe from the lights,” she whispered with a husky burr coloring her voice.

His heart momentarily stuttered in his chest. He didn’t normally ascribe to the sort of forced holiday merriment that mistletoe pretended to embody; however, as Betty’s hopeful gaze slowly settled back toward his lips, he found himself leaning infinitesimally closer toward her. 

“Remind me,” he said softly as he felt the humidity caused by the warm exhalations of her mouth so close to his skin, “what’s the tradition with mistletoe?”

Without another word, Betty closed the small gap between them, pressing her plush, velvety lips to his. He groaned against her mouth as all of his synaptic nerves suddenly fired off like fireworks on New Year’s Eve, and he reflexively pulled Betty closer to him. Her tongue probed his half open mouth more eagerly than he was anticipating as her fingers pulled sharply on the fine hairs at the base of his neck, and the sharp sting caught him pleasantly by surprise. Pulling his mouth away from hers, he nipped teasingly at her bottom lip when she let out a small plaintive mewl of displeasure at his having broken off their kiss. 

Jughead couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he took in the full scope of her adorable pout. Before he had a chance to make a playfully sarcastic comment though, the stalled elevator slowly started rumbling back to life. His eyes reflexively sought out the floor guide, and he felt his heart drop a little when he realized Betty was destined to get off in two more floors. He could sense his normal “bah-humbug” romantic feelings begin overtaking him again as he realized his shared moment with Betty was all too fleeting. 

As the light for the 21st floor weakly illuminated, Jughead could see Betty chewing on her lip as if she was contemplating a question. As if on cue, he heard her ask in a quietly suggestive voice, “Do you believe in Krampus, Jughead?”

His brow knit momentarily in confusion before he replied a little more brusquely than he otherwise would’ve intended, “No. Why?”

Betty gave him a blinding grin before balling her fist in his soft cotton t-shirt and yanking him toward the creakily opening doors as she said, “Good. Because I aim to misbehave.”

~*~The End~*~

#reindeergames #riverdale #bughead #Sunshinebunnie ficlet #betty x jughead

[breakfreefromyourlies]

With a taste of your lips (Part 1) – Reader x Gwilym Lee

Summary: You landed your first pretty big job on the set of the BohRap movie, what could go wrong? Except your feelings?

A/N: Ok so this is my first fanfic ever. I love my baby Gwil so it had to be for him. I don’t know what to think about it. This is the first part so if you like it there’ll be other parts. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of it. And remember that English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are grammatical mistakes.  

Pairing: Gwilym Lee x Reader

Words count: 1k

« Shocking! » You let out, a little louder than expected.  

« What’s shocking, darling? » Rami asked turning to you.

« You. The boys. You are them, you are Queen and that’s shocking » You replied, eyes wide opened. “Look at you talking like Freddie, Ben being practically Roger’s son and don’t get me started on Gwilym. He is not portraying Brian, he IS Brian” you exclaimed.  

“Thank God we are” Joe said, laughing.  

You had been on set for a few weeks now but this was the first time you saw the boys in full costumes all together and ready to film the “Live Aid” performance.

Working for “GK Films”, the production company in charge of operating “Bohemian Rhapsody”, your job was to make sure everything was going smoothly and that included the off-screen relationship between the boys. Luckily, they bonded pretty much instantly and very soon included you as a part of the group.

“Wait Gwil! You have a misplaced curl” You shouted, heading towards him.

“Don’t stand too close to him Y/N, you’ll only make him more nervous” Ben scoffed as you adjusted Gwilym’s wig.

“Oh shut up Ben. You’re the one wishing I was this close to you” You replied, avoiding Gwilym’s gaze.

The boys always teased you when it came to Gwilym. Your relationships with all of them were very diverse. Joe was the one you shared many laughs with, Ben liked to start fights with you for nothing just to annoy you, Rami was like a big brother taking care of you, but Gwilym… it was different. From the beginning you immediately loved being around him, he was gentle and laid back but you could also cry from laughing because of him. He always tried to include you as much as possible in the making of the movie, asking for your advice on his acting, rehearsing his lines with you and even letting you adjust his precious “Brian wig”. In a few weeks he became the best friend you never had but the boys liked to imply that something more was going on. Of course you had already thought about it. Gwilym was exactly the type of guy you could fall for, well any girl could fall for him but it was impossible for you to even think that he could fall for you.  

“Thanks Y/N/N, we wouldn’t want a wig disaster during Live Aid” Gwilym said, chuckling.

You stepped backward trying not to let him notice how anxious you also were. This movie was the first very big project you worked on. You wanted everything to go well and starting with the most important scene of the whole shooting was definitely not something small.

“Go kill ‘em boys. Kill ‘em, kill ‘em.” Brian May cheered to the boys. You could see the emotion in his eyes while he looked at them and more precisely to the younger version of himself. Living the experience all over again was such an emotional moment for him but it also was for everyone on set.

It was time, the cameras were rolling and the boys were about to enter the stage to give the most important show of their career. You felt your heart pounding in your chest.

-----

A few hours later, the filming was over and wouldn’t start again until the following day. The boys came backstage still very euphoric of what had just happened.    

Gwilym immediately ran towards you when he saw you. “So how was I? What did you think of it?” he asked with the biggest smile on his face.

“Well if someone showed me your performance and the original one, I’m not sure I could distinguish the real and semi-fake Brian May” You said jokingly.

“I think that’s the wig” He added.

“Yeah, that’s definitely the wig. I’m not sure you truly were for something in it” You said, winking at him.

He immediately bumped his shoulder into yours.

“Of course you were amazing. I knew it from the beginning Gwil that you would kill it. But keep that same energy for the rest of the shooting, it’s only the beginning” You added.

“Thank you Y/N for always bringing me back down to Earth” He said putting his arm around your shoulders.

“Come on lovebirds, we are toasting to the first and very special day of this great journey” Ben shouted while opening a bottle of champagne.

Those words made Gwilym remove his arm from your shoulders and lay down his eyes before walking towards Rami.  

You guessed he reacted that way because he didn’t like when Ben teased you both for this. Who liked that? Especially when the person is not attracted to the other. And why would you even try to understand? You did not like Gwilym like that either. So why did you feel this thing in your chest?

“Y/N/N? Do you want a glass of champagne?” Joe asked, getting you out of your thoughts.

“Sure, thank you.” You said smiling. “You were incredible earlier. I was feeling like I was at the actual Live Aid.” You added, reminiscing what you lived today.  

“I know right? I can’t wrap my mind around it. I’m still feeling all the chills in my veins” Joe said wiggling his arms. “Thank you for being here Y/N, you’re one hell of a support out there” he added, coming in for a hug.

You immediately felt Gwilym’s gaze on you while you were hugging Joe. “Thanks to you for being so nice with me since the beginning.” You replied, smiling.

“Well we all love you very much Y/N. Some even more than others.” He said chuckling and winking at you. You didn’t have time to fully acknowledge what Joe had just said as he left you to talk to Lucy.

What does that even mean?

“Cheers to the beginning of something magical” You heard from a voice behind you. You turned around and saw Gwilym with his drink up. “Thank you for putting up with me and all the attention I demand during the filming” He said while biting his lower lip.

His wig was still on but you could see how handsome he looked even as a younger version of Brian May. You could look at his beautiful blue eyes for hours and caught yourself starring at his lips.  

“Hum, yeah, you know, don’t worry. I’m happy to help.” You mumbled, lowering your eyes. Fuck Y/N get your shit together.

“Don’t tell me you are already tipsy from one glass of champagne?” Gwilym said, laughing.

“No” you laughed, “Just tired. But I’ll sleep when I’m dead right? Or at least when the shooting will be over.” you said while taking a sip of your glass.

“Well I am definitely not looking forward to ending it. I love being on set with the guys, with you.” He said, softly looking at your lips.

“Come on guys! Let’s all take a picture to remember this day forever!” Ben shouted while running between Gwilym and you putting up his phone, leaving you unable to answer.  

Gwilym placed his arm around your waist as you all looked toward the camera. 

This was definitely the beginning of something you would remember your whole life.

Part 2

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohrap #bohrap imagines #gwilym lee x reader #reader x gwilym lee #brian may #rami malek #joe mazzello #ben hardy #queen #queen imagines #queen fandom #roger taylor #gwilym lee cute #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee imagines #brian may x reader #john deacon #freddie mercury

[thedeanthomas]

Morning After || Drabble

The sun is in his eyes and he scowls at it.

“Do you want your sunglasses, dummy?” 

Dean glances over at Shay and twists his face to the side in a semi smile.

“Nah, I’m tougher than the sun.”

Shay rolls his eyes and sits up, Dean realizes now that they’re on a beach. No one else is around, and the ocean is bluer than it’s ever been in New York. 

“Alright, well, then just to give the sun a fighting chance.”

Shay smiles softly at him as he slides the sunglasses onto his face, and after he guides the bow behind his ear, his hand catches Dean’s jawline and traces down to his lips. 

“Dean-”

Dean leans forward and kisses him, smiling back when Shay smiles against his lips.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Shay starts to speak but Dean can’t hear him over the sound that’s taking over the beach.

“What?!”

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Dean’s eyes open and it takes him a second to remember where he is. He’s sore like he’d worked out hard the night before, and when his brain catches up the pit of anxiety in his stomach, Dean groans.  His phone keeps buzzing and he realizes just in time that it’s ringing. 

Stupidly, his stomach lurches with hope that it’s Shay.

“Hello?”

“So are you going to apologize to me or not?”

Lavender’s pissed. Dean can practically see her crossing her arms, her long blonde hair messed up from sleep. A hypocritical surge of jealousy courses through him, wondering who she spent the night with.

“For what, Lav?”

“God you’re fucking stupid.”

“So I’ve been told.” He mutters darkly, leaning back against the pillows and staring up at his ceiling, noticing a crack that’s either new or has been there the entire time he’s lived there.

“I spent last night with someone else, Dean, and its your fault.”

Dean opens his mouth to ask her what kind of emotional gymnastics she was doing to get to that logic, but something else comes out.

“Well I slept with someone else last night too, so I guess we’re even, huh?”

The silence on the other end is scary. It’s so quiet, that Dean checks to see if he’s hung up on her.

“Lav?”

“You slept with someone else?”

“So did you.”

He hears her sigh on the other end, and, despite the relationship that’s the root cause of all of his other relationships possibly ending, there’s a strange relief in Dean’s anxiousness. If they were really over...

“I don’t want to keep hurting each other like this.” Lav says, her voice softer than Dean has heard it. “I don’t want to keep hurting you.”

This was...different. Not what Dean had been expecting. His brain is being pulled in so many ways that all he can do is sit and listen. 

“I ruined your birthday.”

She’s crying now, and Dean is so shocked that he’s not even sure what he’s supposed to do. He’d never heard her cry before.

“You-you didn’t ruin it.”

“I did. I really fucked up. I-Dean, will you take me back? Will you give me another chance?”

Dean hadn’t even realized they were done with the first chance. He thinks, images of Shay, memories of his taste and touch swirling around in his brain, taunting him. He lets himself to picture what would happen if he told Lavender no. If he told her that no, he doesn’t want to get back together and that the someone else he spent last night with was another man. If he found Shay’s number and by some miracle he agreed to go on a date with Dean....every thing would change. He wouldn’t have any friends in his classes anymore, he would lose all his friends other than Luna and she didn’t count because she was his fucking sister. And not to mention his mom. Dean can’t think of a single instance where she’d even acknowledged gay people, let alone talked about her opinion on the subject. That didn’t bode well for him being...whatever he was. Was he gay? Bi? Something else? 

It’s all too much to deal with. The questions are too hard to answer. When Shay had said goodbye, he’d mentioned something about setting his priorities straight, and Dean decides then, that that’s what he’s got to be. That’s what he has to be-straight.

And telling Lavender what she wants to hear is a hell of a lot easier than facing himself.

Dean gives himself another second to remember. He remembers the taste of Shay’s smile, the feel of his hands on his jawline, the sounds Dean had gotten him to make. He holds them in his chest and then with a breath out, Dean tries to let them go. 

“Of course I will.”

Lavender laughs with relief and invites herself over. Predictably, after not-so-jokingly joking about how much he looks like shit, Lavender is on top of him. As they kiss and she makes the fake little breathy moans Dean is almost positive she picked up from watching porn, he feels his mind wander. If he closes his eyes tight enough, he can almost picture it: A beach, abandoned except for Seamus Finnigan-Fenwick, whose smile Dean gets to taste.

#drabble #a sad time (tm)

[anachilles]

hey! about ficlet ideas about hanna x jonas maybe one where when jonas is sober the next day he apologizes for trying to kiss her?

Hey anon!! I was originally planning on only doing short lil ficlets for these prompts, but after having so many emotions because of Friday’s clip of them, this one got away from me. So thanks for the prompt/inspiration!!

Words: 2.6k

Summary: Jonas needs to apologise for the way he acted the night before, and may have gotten more than he bargained for when Hanna puts everything into perspective for him. Whether he necessarily wanted to hear it or not.

» [ read on AO3 ] ☼

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ SAMSTAG; 12:16 ]

In the stark light of day, clear (but sore) headed, Jonas knewhe’d fucked up. Actually, no, he knew that last night pretty muchinstantaneously after he did it.

Waking up, thankfully in his bed (God bless Matteo for seeing tothat), feeling like he’d been ran over by a semi-truck and regretting what hedid the night before was becoming a regular occurrence for him lately, and hecertainly didn’t feel any better for it.

After he woke up, he just sort of lay there and contemplated theaborted move he’d tried to make on Hanna, cringing through every second of thememory. The whole night was submerged in a drunken fog, but that particularmemory cut through it and he recalled it clear as day.

Jonas couldn’t believe he’d done that.

He was wasted.

He was upset.

He missed her so fucking much.

He... was an asshole for putting her in that position.

Despite their rocky break-up, the last thing he’d ever want inthe world was to hurt her, or make her feel uncomfortable.

Jonas closed his eyes against the sun streaming in through thegap in the curtains, and groaned as he tried to scrub some of the ache out ofhis eyes with his fingers.

In the cold light of day he just felt like a massive arcshloch. Andit didn’t sit comfortably with him.

Hoisting himself upright, Jonas grabbed his phone from itscharger on the bedside table. He sort of dreaded to unlock it, flopping downagain against the pillows.

Whatsapp: [Hanna]: Did you get home okay?

There went that funny feeling in his chest again. The dumb,pathetic one that raised its head any time Hanna so much as acknowledged himthese days.

He took a moment to scroll up through their chat log, noting allthe times she’d tried to initiate conversation, to reach out to him - but ithad been too painful for him to do anything other than leave her on read orblow off her offers to catch up.

[You]: Yeah lol, all thanks to Matteo

She read the reply pretty much instantly. Jonas nervouslychecked his other messages (firing one off to Matteo in both appreciation andapology), and flicked through a couple of apps, waiting for... literallyanything.

He tended to miss her most in the quiet moments. Where she’d beexactly here on the other side of the bed, stretched out beside him, or cuddledin close to or around him. Just existing together. Totally at ease.

When she didn’t say anything in response, Jonas feltinevitability creeping round the corner. He had the insatiable itch to run awayfrom this situation, to avoid it, shut down communication, quash it down andpretend it wasn’t an issue. If there was one flaw Jonas had that he was nowcompletely self-aware about, it was his tendency towards avoidance and wilfulignorance rather than facing issues head on and dealing with them outright. Howthat allowed things to spiral and blow out of proportion and control.

It led to destruction and pain for all involved.

So, basically, he knew he had to put on his big boy pants andactually deal with this. He couldn’t imagine walking into school and seeingHanna every day with this dark cloud hanging over them, as much as he’d beensulking and wallowing this past while.

Taking a deep breath, Jonas started to record a voice message.

[ “ Hey. I, uh... I understand if you’d rather not, but do you...want to meet? Like, later today maybe? What I did last night was shitty and Ijust want to apologise face to face. You deserve that much. If not - that’scool. Bye “ ]

 [ SAMSTAG ; 15:31 ]

 Every nerve in Jonas’s body buzzed with nervous energy, practicallyvibrating where he sat in the little booth, right in the corner of the coffeeshop as he waited for her.

The coffee shop was dimly lit, cosy (with seating that was actually comfy), not far from school,and served the best homemade coffee cake they’d ever had.

It was strange; the place was as comfortingly familiar asit always had been, but the overall vibe felt… off. He and Hanna used to come and waste so much time in here theywere practically on first name basis with some of the baristas, but he didn’trecognise anyone behind the counter that day. Big, ornate maps hung on theaged, wood-panelled walls in decoration, and had prompted countlessconversations between the two of them about all the places they wanted to seewhen they left school.

Hanna talked wistfully of having wanted to go on a girls’holiday with Leonie and the rest to somewhere warm; like Italy, or maybeGreece, before all the drama and had shit not hit the fan as badly as it did.

(Looking back, Jonas feels guilty about not taking the sadnessin her voice as seriously as he should have. More examples of his God-giventalent for wilful ignorance. Maybe it was easier to pretend and convincehimself that she was okay).

Jonas talked, somewhat jokingly (but also sort of not) aboutwanting to go with Matteo and the boys to Amsterdam.

But the best conversations were the ones about the tripsthey’d promise to take together. Most ideas were far-fetched, dumb and probablynot feasible (at least finance-wise) anyway, but it was fun and dreamy enoughjust to talk about and imagine going on adventures to all those cool places withher.

“OnceI’m selling out arenas all over Europe, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go”

This is Jonas’s first visit back to this place the break-up.

His leg jiggled incessantly up and down and he worried athis lip with his teeth.

Eventually, the door opened and he saw a familiar head ofred hair. And his heart promptly dropped into his stomach.

“Hi…” she greeted carefully, approaching a littlecautiously before sliding into the seat across from him. She looked tired.

A ghost of a smile twitched at her lips as she nodded downtowards the table, upon which sat what was recognisable to her as her usual drinkof choice, and between her cup and his, a plate with a slice of coffee cake onit. One fork.

“You didn’t have to”

He shrugged.

“It’s nothing. Call it penance, or a peace offering orsomething”

Hanna nodded and took a sip from her cup, then picked upthe fork.

“I’m not sharing this with you, by the way” she said, hervoice edged with a slight hint of playfulness.

“It’s all yours” he replied, throwing his hands up inmock-surrender.

“Knowing you, you probably already had a piece before I gothere”

“More like, ‘couldn’t stomach it’”

The comment appears to yank Hanna’s mind back to the matterat hand; why they’re actually here. And it wasn’t for coffee, cake, and mutualreminiscing. Her face fell back into a serious expression.

An extended beat of awkward silence settles over the table.Neither look directly at each other, and neither speak. As if they’re bothwaiting for the other to go first.

Jonas is the first to crack.

“Look – I’m reallysorry about what happened last night. The position I put you in; it was unfair.I was w-”

“Wasted. Yeah, I could tell”

Jonas felt guilt settle in his stomach, her accusing tonecutting somewhere deep inside him. He started fidgeting with his hands under thetable.

“I don’t mean it as an excuse, just… explanation”

“You were always a sad drunk” she commented.

He laughed humourlessly.

“That’s why I smoke weed so much more than I drink. Well –apart from recently, obviously”

It was true. Even in back when things were normal, he had anotoriously small barrier between ‘fun and tipsy’ and ‘drunk and maudlin’. Hedidn’t always like who he was when he drank, but somehow between now and thenthat fact had become easier to disregard.

He looked across at her sincerely, body suddenly still andat peace, and she slowly met his gaze.

“Honestly, I’m really sorry if I made you feeluncomfortable. I’d never intentionally do that to you, I was just… too drunk.And upset”

Hanna nodded in acceptance, but her face remained serious.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Forget about it. But for real,man – what’s been up with you these past few weeks?”

“You know what’s beenup with me”

“I don’t really, seeing as every time I try and talk to you,you shut me out!”

“You can’t have it both ways, Hanna! You broke up with me,which I understand, but it hurt. Itstill hurts, clearly. And it hurts even more you trying to be my friend rightnow because it feels too close to what we had before, and it’s playing with my feelings”he explained, visibly frustrated.

She looked as if the words had reached out and slapped her.Fuck, he hated disappointing her but what more could he do now than just tellthe truth.

“It was easier before school started again. Before we hadto see each other every day, and Matteo started talking to your girls, andCarlos got involved with Kiki. I thought I had it together but all theproximity just made me realise how not over you I actually was” Jonascontinued, speaking more honestly than he had in a long time, even to himself.It was these sorts of thoughts he’d been running from – clouding in smoke, drowningin alcohol, and blocking out with the deafening club music.

Thoughts he didn’t entertain because they made him feelpathetic whilst Hanna was out there being amazing and having the time of herlife. That made him wonder why he couldn’t be like that too.

Hanna’s expression turned sympathetic. Almost painfully soft

“I get where you’re coming from. And I’m sorry for tryingto force something you weren’t ready for. It’s selfish, but I just… reallymissed you. No matter ‘where’ we are, I’d never want you to not be in my life,so maybe I hung on a bit too tight when I should’ve let you have space”

She took a breath, with which came a steely edge to her voice.Jonas tensed, knowing what it looked like when Hanna had something she needed to say.

“But that being said, in the nicest possible way, you needto pull your head out of your ass with all this dumb self-destructive shit you’redoing. Seriously. All the drinking, getting high in school and before exams,wallowing. If it’s all for dealing with pain, then you’re just going to end uphurting yourself and feeling worse than when you started”

Jonas feels like he shouldfeel patronised or annoyed at what she was saying, but honestly - he was sotired and sick of everything that he knew it was what he needed to hear. Theincident with Hanna last night had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“And if it hurts just to see you like this, I can’t imaginewhat it feels like inside your head. But you owe it to yourself more thananyone to sort things out”.

It was uncomfortable to hear, but it was necessary. He’d beenlooking practically everywhere but her eyes before as it took it in, but suddenlylooked up and met her gaze.

“Be the best version of yourself you can manage, and thebest possible things will come to you” she finished, causing Jonas to have asudden break of hilarity in what should’ve been an otherwise serious moment.

“Did you come up with that last line all by yourself?” he joked,smiling despite himself.

“Okay – it might’ve been something Amira said once, but itwas a good point!”. Her smile mirrored his.

The jokes and laughter felt easier between them, likefamiliar ground. It was a dynamic they both felt comfortable in together, andstill came easy to them. It made Jonas happy to see that was still there atall, though he had his suspicions after the secretly shared smiles between themat the Christmas party.

“I’m excited to see you be ‘you’ again – you deserve to behappy” she said, still smiling at him. It made his chest ache a little, but nowsomehow it felt like a more bearable pain.

“You too. I didn’t realise how much I missed seeing yougenuinely happy until after everything was over”

Hanna smiled solemnly and nodded, taking the final sip ofher coffee that ended up emptying the cup. She unlocked her phone screen infollowing silence to check the time, then looked out to the grey, dimming skiesof Berlin on a winter afternoon.

“I should probably think about heading home. Dad’s home thisweekend and I promised him I’d help him make dinner; ‘bonding time’ apparently”

Jonas chuckled lightly as he started gathering his stufftogether.

“Which we all know to be Hanna-code for ‘watch him peelpotatoes while I sit on insta’” he teased.

She quickly flipped him the bird before getting out infront of him and leading them outside.

He hung around for a second more as she unlocked her bike fromthe rack, more comfortable in a moment alone with Hanna than he had been in along time.

Once the bike was free, she turned to him.

“Remember to be nice to Matteo, by the way. He sulks aroundlike a lost puppy whenever you guys aren’t speaking”

Jonas rolled his eyes.

“Oh c’mon, that was one day!”

“And all that sorrow on his little face for that one daywas almost too much to bear. You need each other”

Assuming she was alluding to the tense situation with Matteo’shomelife, Jonas instantaneously decided that he’d call him when he got back.Thank him properly and check in.

They hesitated for a second after that, prompting a silenceJonas didn’t know quite what to do with. Hug her? Wave?

“Thanks for meeting with me. It helped a lot – and I’msorry, again” he settled on, with a curt nod.

“No worries. I’m glad we did it too. See you around”

Then she cycled away, and he stood there watching herleave, icy wind whipping her hair about her face as she rode.

Jonas leaned up against the lamp-post he was standingbeside and pulled out his little pouch of rolling tobacco and papers, making acigarette for himself and lighting it. The first inhale immediately calmed him.

Of course, not everything had magically been fixed and maderight. He still loved her more than he’d ever imagined loving anyone, he still missedher so much it ached – their laughs, their intimacy, her overall presence inthe world and inclusion in his orbit. It still hurt to feel a distance betweenthem.

But he felt so much… lighter. Like he’d unloaded some arduousburden on his soul by sitting down and having an honest conversation with herabout everything, coming clean about what he felt. And hearing how she sawthings too. It felt like a step forward to something better.

He loved her, and maybe he always would. Maybe he’dnever stop at least a tiny bit of himself from wanting her back – but for thefirst time in a long time it felt possible to accept the reality of the breakup. Perhaps even move on.

At the very least stop sulking around and torpedoing hisown life in self-pity and melodramatic heartache. Feel better about himself.

Inhale.

Exhale.

He set off home, her smile lingering in his mind.

#druck #hanna x jonas #jonas augustin #hanna jung #honas #skam fic #my stuff #Anonymous

[shadowsof-thenight]

Had a voice: chapter four

Summary: For two years you had let him dictate your every move. Dictate your time, your friends, your work. Everything, literally. And for the life of you, you could not understand why you'd done so.

Now, here you were. In a beautiful but still strange city that had never become your own. And you were all alone. It was time to take back your life.

Words: 2104

Ship: BuckyXreader

Warnings: none for this chapter

A/N: She finally meets the man here! I apologise before hand for any and all mistakes. As I posted earlier about my massive head ache....this was finished quickly and not looked over as much as I usually do. I'll do that later, but I didn't want you to wait longer than absolutely necessary. Especially since you all were so responsive to the last chapter.

Please don't be shy and let me know what you think of this chapter and the story so far. I love feedback, it's what I live for ;)

***

Masterlist                                              Story Masterlist ***

The first two weeks after the party, you thought of those blue eyes often. And the pain that was hidden inside. Wondering if Wanda would ever bring up what she had gathered from your thoughts. Much to your happiness though, she did not. Sometimes, however, you would catch her staring at you. Especially when you tried not to think about him in her presence. You'd blush and cast your eyes down, not sure what to say in those moments. Dreaming of a man you knew nothing about felt pretty embarrassing.

After those two weeks, your initial interest in the man did simmer down a little. Meaning, you were able to keep him from your mind around Wanda. Sparing her those thoughts.

You smiled as you walked down the streets, on your way to work. After all these months, your job  still did not bore you. And life was giving you a skip in your steps again. You had forgotten just what that felt like. It had been a long time since you had been content with life.

Of course it did help that you had friends now. Plural. Ever since the party, you had seen several of the people you met there, again and again. A standing lunch every other week with Pepper, Natasha and Wanda was soon the highlight of you time. You would look forward to those days in advance.

It was always fun. And now that you were all getting to know each other, the conversations were getting deeper.  

As you walked into the theatre, still with a smile on your features, you were quickly pulled aside by Jenny.  For a short second your smile faltered, wondering what could be wrong. After all, the trial period of your contract was nearly up. But the smile came back when you looked into the kind eyes of your boss. She didn't seem like the bearer of bad news, nor did she appear angry at all.

“What's up?” you inquired semi calmly.

“We've got some empty seats and a critic coming.” She said with a smile. She seemed happy to say this, which confused you.

“Right?” you replied confused, not sure what this meant for you.

“I keep forgetting you don't work here that long yet,” she chuckled, before adding, “we like to have a full house when that happens”

“Okay, what can I do?” you said, going into work mode, wanting to avert any possible crisis.

“Find a few people to fill seats?!” she said, raising her eyebrows in question. Smile again etched into her features. She seemed happy to offer you this opportunity. There weren't many evenings where you dealt with empty seats, this was a very popular show. Jenny explained that whenever it did happen, they tried to alternate the person filling them.  This time it was your chance to invite friends.

“I can try some people” you said, eager to help out. Hoping to look good for the boss. Secretly jumping with happiness that you actually had friends to invite.

Jenny informed you to bring four people, before going back to work. Leaving you behind, with a massive grin on your face. Quickly grabbing your phone, you sent Wanda a text. Telling her about the tickets at your disposal and if she might know anyone to give them too.

Within seconds she had replied that she loved seeing the show again, and she would find three others to join her. Only if you promised to get drinks with the group afterwards. You had no problem agreeing to those terms, drinks sounded like fun. Especially since you had a day off tomorrow. You would not have to worry about getting up early.

You were showing people to their seats, when you saw Wanda coming you way. As the people you had been helping took their place in the row, you quickly turned to your friend with a bright smile.

She showed you her tickets with a smirk, giving you an excuse to talk to her for a little bit.

“This way miss” you smiled and she signalled to someone behind you to follow. You quickly turned to glance behind you and froze. Turning back to Wanda, you met her smirk and know she was up to no good.

“you...” you uttered, rendered speechless. She looked back at you quasi innocent and shrugged. You took a deep breath and turned back to the three avengers that now had walked up to the two of you.

“Hi there. Good to see you again Vision. How are you doing”  you said, focussing on the least intimidating man of the three. He smiled kindly and gave you a small reprieve by keeping the conversation going shortly. You wondered if he sensed your discomfort, but figured he was just genuinely interested in hearing from you. After all you had heard about him from the girls, that was the safest assumption.

Eventually you were forced to acknowledge the other two in the small company and with a fake, bright smile etched on your face, you hoped you at least appeared in control of yourself when you extended your hand to the men before you.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Thank you for coming” you said, speaking faster than you normally would.

“Thanks for inviting us, Y/N. I'm Steve,” said the man you knew as captain America. He shook your hand shortly, a kind smile on his features. When he let go of your hand, you turned to last person and knew your smile became more forced. Not because you did not want to see him, but he made you nervous. He was even more gorgeous up close and you hoped your hand wasn't too clammy as he shook it.

“Bucky” he simply said, looking into your eyes, perhaps recognizing you from the party. You nodded and showed them which seats were theirs.

“I'm really glad you guys could make it on such short notice” you said again, smiling genuinely now. They all just nodded and sat down, as you walked away quickly. A blush had made it's way to your cheeks and you could feel sweat forming on your body. One of the wonderful reactions you had to anxiety. To took a few deep breaths, before helping other people find their seats. As soon as all seats were filled you quickly left the room and rushed to the nearest toilets. You splashed water in your face and took a few more calming breaths. You were startled when the door opened and Jenny walked in, beaming at you.

“if I had known you knew the avengers, I might have asked this much earlier” she said jokingly, before looking at you with some concern. You knew you looked a little dishevelled.

“I...I know Wanda,”  you said, laughing a little shakily.

“they make you nervous?” Jenny wondered.

“Wouldn't they make you nervous?” you replied with a chuckled, feeling your body temperature go back to normal.

“Absolutely, but you seemed very collected” she said, explaining her surprise.

“Good, that's what I was going for” this time Jenny chuckled, while you sighed in relief. And you dried your face and hands before you walked back into the foyer with Jenny. Time to set up for intermission.

***

“It's really nice you meet you all” you said with a smile as you met up with all of them after the show. They had waited for you just outside the theatre, so you could walk to the bar together. They smiled or nodded and you started walking towards the bar that Wanda had suggested.

On the way there, Wanda linked her arm with yours and she started to fill you in on what happened to her since you last saw each other. The men fell back a bit, talking amongst themselves. Giving you space to speak to each other a little.

“Still think his eyes convey an ocean of emotions?” Wanda said after checking that they would not overhear them.

“I never said that” you quickly said, cheeks heating up again and she laughed.

“Perhaps not, but you were thinking it” she said, a mischievous look on her face. She was enjoying your embarrassment a little too much, you thought.

“Is there really no way I can hide my thoughts and feelings from you?” you begged jestingly, earning yourself another chuckle from your friend.

“Now why would you do that?” she wondered, still smirking at you.

“To avoid embarrassment like this in the future.” you simply stated and tried to forget just how flustered you had been when you first saw who she had brought along with her.

“And where is the fun in that?” Wanda said, feigning an innocent look on her face and you could not help but laugh with her now.

Wanda had told you that, despite her best efforts to stay out of peoples heads, sometimes feelings and thoughts invaded her mind. It was exhausting for her. You had seen how tired she had been after the party and you knew she would stay out of she could. That's why you joked about this with her, instead of getting angry.

Her reading your thoughts was invasive and felt wrong somehow, but you couldn't really blame her for it. She had never before confronted you with your thoughts, unless you brought them up to her.

***

“How did you and Wanda meet?” Steve wondered as he sat down on a stool next to you, Bucky in tow. You were leaning on the bar, waiting for the drinks you had just ordered. Everyone had been really nice to you and you were slowly losing the anxiety that had attacked you earlier that evening.

“I ran into her” you said with a smile, thinking back to that day all those months ago. Sometimes you were still shocked just how much time had passed since then.

“you ran into her?” Bucky asked, frowning a little.

“Literally” you said, looking at them and shrugging. Best they knew right away how clumsy you could be. Steve and Bucky chuckled.

“Sounds like Wanda.” Bucky said with a smile. This earned him a tap to the back of his head from Wanda. Bucky laughed loudly at this. Wanda shrugged and smiled innocently.

“It might have been my fault though...actually I'm quite sure it was,” you said with a smile, “ I might just be a little clumsy sometimes. Okay, all the time.” you admitted, you face solemn. This earned you laughter from the others and you could not help but join in.

“Soulmates” Wanda exclaimed and held up her drink for you to clink yours with. Which you quickly did with a smile.

“Please tell me that does not reflect her abilities during missions.” you joked as you looked at the men feigning seriousness.

***

“So what do you think now?” Wanda asked as she stood with you at the door of the hostel. Then men were waiting at the beginning of the street for you to say your goodbyes.

“I still think there is a lot of hidden inside that brain of his” you answered honestly. The night had been fun and everyone had laughed a lot. Yet this did not shake the feeling that Bucky had a massive amount of sadness inside of him.

“Oh I'm certain there is. The question is, do you want to unravel it?” Wanda asked inquisitively.

“Has there ever been a girl that said no to that?” you wondered with a chuckle. As far as you knew, girls liked a mystery. Especially if that mystery was wrapped up in such an impressive looking man.

“Haven't asked that many girls” she chuckled and you shook you head with a smile. She was really pushing this and would not let you off without answering her.

“He is really good looking and he seems nice too,” you said honestly, looking back to the three figures at the end of the street.

“He is.” she said with a smile.

“And he seems conflicted about something.” you then added softly.

“Yeah, that too” Wanda agreed, without getting into specifics. You were certain she knew exactly what he was conflicted about, but she had no intention of telling you or anyone else. Just as you were certain she would never tell anyone about the things she got from your chaotic brain.

Chapter 5

#Had a voice #MCUfanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #fanfiction