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stonemags · 11 months

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SUGAR BABY AU

Ch.5 Champagne problems

Characters in this series: Reader, Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Carol Danvers, Darcy Lewis, Maria Hill, Kate Bishop, Pepper Potts, Valkyrie, Shuri

Summary: Keeping your promises can be hard if you are being challenged on them all the time. You try to keep your face straight and enjoy one free evening, but are any of your evenings actually free? What are your actual feelings towards people around you? You can't figure it out if you won't stop to think about it.

Warnings: age gap relationships, sugar mommy/sugar baby relationships, swearing, mensplaning, all story is gonna be +18, you are responsible for your own ass.

Word count: 9612

A/N: I appreciate everyone's patience. I hope you will enjoy this chapter just as much as I do. Thank you for all the comments. It really helps to get a new perspective on things and really motivates me to keep going. Big thanks to my amazing friend, this series wouldn't be here without you @charturnus. And big thanks to my forever judge of the chapters @sweetixsblog!

The flat is just a quick stop for both of you, and it's no surprise it's empty. At this time, everybody is probably already at Carol's house. After this emotional load of today you wish you could stay home, relax, unwind the stress, but promises were made, and you are not someone who breaks them. You tell Kate to take a shower first, and you go to look into Darcy's room for both your costumes. Nicely put dresses take you off guard but as you see just as beautiful a three part set for you with pants you take a breath in. You slowly touch the fabric, taking in the view. Kate will look incredible in hers. It's bigger than you thought but looks so light with the volume of it. The colour is lavender, and it's going to brighten Kate's face so much, the corset is black which is matching to yours, and it's going to be an amazing contrast to her bright look.

“It's beautiful” You turn around at the sound of your friend's voice. She is standing by the door, covered just by the towel waiting for her primer to dry, so she can finish her makeup.

“Yes it is. And you are going to look incredible in it, sweetheart.” You tell her and move to the side to let her see the dress in its all glory.

“I was talking about yours, but I think we both will steal some glances after being so fashionably late.” She puts a tender hand on your shoulder, looking deeply into your eyes, trying to read your emotions of your irises as you are hiding something from her. She had this feeling all day. In moments like those, you are also wondering if you are hiding something from her, or yourself. You put a strand of her hair gently behind her ear so as not to disturb the primer in any way and when you are about to answer, your phone starts to ring. You pick it up, being sure it's Darcy calling to hurry you up, because no texts and no phone calls all day is a weird behaviour for her. Furthermore, you are grateful for the space she gave you and Kate, but it's 9pm, and you probably should head that way already.

“Hey, we are getting ready and…..” You cut mid-sentence, making Kate look at you, quizzingly.

“No I…. Okay I understand but I can't right now. “ You look at her, a few lines appear on your forehead. Your voice sounds distressed and it shakes a little.

“No…. The answer is no, I helped you enough for now.” You start pacing the room. Whoever is on the other side of it is definitely stressing you out, and Kate can see it.

“HOW MUCH?” You didn't mean for it to come out so loud, but it ripped out of you. Right now, you know, Kate has questions. One hand is holding the phone while the second is in your hair, looking like you are going to pull all of it out in a second.

“I'm sending you half of it. I don't have any more right now, and I also have to eat. I'm sorry….. Well, I'm sorry you are disappointed…. Sucks for both of us, I guess.” With that, you hang up a phone and take a breath in. You quickly type something on your phone and as you put it down Kate can see that you are really trying to figure out something, battling with yourself, she just can't figure out what it is about. She slowly closes the distance between you, searching for your eye contact.

“Yn is everything okay?” You smile at her, and Kate hates it. As much as you know her, she learned a thing or two about you too, and this fake demeanour pisses her off.

“Yeah …. Yes, it's just a client of mine not happy with his essay. He is going to pay me less.”

“Oh.” It really didn't seem like it, your reaction was far too strong for some boy to put you off like that. As much as Kate tries to sympathise with you, she never struggled with money, so it really doesn't seem like a big deal for her, for you on the other hand every unplanned loss of money is a big hit. Kate decides to leave the topic and start collecting things to dress up and finish her look, letting you go to take a shower.

“Kate?” She looks at you.

“Can we take your car? I don't have money for a cab right now, and I'm not drinking, so I thought… I'm going to give you gas money back after the pay cheque if you are okay with that.” Kate smiles at you as if you are dumb, but this time in a cute way.

“Mom filled up the tank, so you don't have to give me any money back, and I actually wanted to ask you if you can drive, you are not drinking and being able to leave at any moment we want is a blessing.” This is exactly what you needed to hear, that's how you know it's not true, but you appreciate every moment when your friends are trying to make you feel safe and secure around them. As much as the phone call just added to the mental load, it's something you will have to take care of later, now you don't have time.

It takes both of you an additional 30 minutes to get yourself ready and start driving to the location. You can never get used to the way Carol's house looks like, her main house, you might add. You never thought that you would even have a chance to surround yourself with wealthy people, not talk about being friends with them. As you drive through the gate and park the car in order for both of you space, you take a quick look at the changes in Carol's garden. It's not too overloaded with greenery but the natural bushes creating a path to the entrance is something you fell in love with, the first time you visited her with Darcy. It's a little different at the moment, and you are grateful for that. Added lanterns in the ground help you and Kate find your way on a cold November evening. You hold Kate's arm under yours, soothing her hand to calm down her nerves, or maybe yours, as much as you don't think there is anything you should be stressed about you don't feel at peace. There is a vivid thought about Natasha and Wanda in your head, but you let it go past you as you hear Kate ring the doorbell. You can feel the vibration of music under your feet, it's surprising because to be honest you can barely hear it from outside. As the door opens up you expect Carol to be on the other side of it, you are surprised to be greeted by the waiter, who lets you in by giving each of you a glass of champagne in matching glasses. You always feel bad correcting any workers, you know how it is to be in their place, so you don't say anything. Glass looks amazing in your hand, reflecting all the lights in the room, bright enough to give you a headache at the end of this evening.

“YN! , KATE!” you hear Maria's voice coming from the opened dancing space. She runs to hug you both and just in time you put down the champagne, avoiding any of it landing on your, well not yours but probably expensive clothes.

“You. Both. Look. Incredible.” Maria makes sure to punctuate every single word. She loosely holds yours and Kate's hand in hers. You grab it harder and slowly spin her around.

“Look at you! You look amazing.” She really does, the whole dress up concept suits her so much, she looks like taken straight out of Bridgethones.

As Maria puts her focus on Kate for a second, asking her how she feels and when did you both go, giving her a second glass at the same time, you take your time to drift off away for a second. Carol's interior design feels like visiting a museum in the best sense of it, but this time she has outdone herself. All the details to bring everybody straight into the new world make it all work together with her natural look of the house. The big living room is turned into a dancing floor. A big piano at the side of it gives amazing contrast to the size of this space. Kitchen is opened only for the staff, and you respect that, sitting area have new pillows and added decorations like tones of fresh flowers with almost overwhelming smell and red carpets as a

guide to the bathrooms and balcony for people that want to smoke or just take some fresh air. Even waiters have their own costumes. Most of the work makes live music. It's amazing, and you can't wait to let yourself fall into it, watching the orchestra play relatively new music in a classical way. You are in awe how amazing everything is prepared.

You chose a nice place for yourself a little bit more on the side, halfway to the first floor, where lights are dimmed. High ground is something you enjoy, it opens many more possibilities to observe. Also, you are harder to reach and that gives you the upper hand, literally. Darcy and Carol walk around still talking to some businessmen and other high hierarchy people. You can tell by the way they try to charm their way to Carol's ass, so desperate for her to choose them, that it's funny. You are still worried about Kate, so you follow along with your eyes in red carpet paths to find her in the crowd. She stands at the bar, drinking her, you hope, still second glass of champagne, her eyes are fixated on something, really focused on one space, or person. As you follow her line of sight, you see Maria dancing with an elegant woman who you remember as Pepper. Kate looks almost jealous, and you can't figure out about which one of them. As all your friends are located, you let yourself drown in thoughts about everybody around, who is the most shitty person in the room, who is the drama at the bottom of the stairs about and why the hell someone allowed this dude in sweats even come in here. Just as the thought flew through your mind, you saw a security guard pull the guy outside. You started laughing to yourself about the situation when someone interrupted your peace.

“Would you like something to drink, ma’am?” The waiter asks you politely, and you swear to god you will never get used to people calling you ma’am.

“Non-alcoholic beer please and thank you.” With a nod, he leaves you once again to yourself.

It takes him just a second to bring it back, service is incredible as always at this type of event. You go back to your favourite thing, looking around and as much as you don't care about two redheads, more worried about them annoying you all evening, you can't help but notice them at the edge of the bar. Wanda wears an incredible deep red dress that fully matches the colour of her lips, all her accessories are black though and as you look a little to her right you can see why, right next to her Natasha wears a black suit with red accessories. They are fully matching to each other, and you can't help but smile to yourself. It's nice to see this kind of energy between them. Natasha’s hand leaning on the small of Wanda's back, Wanda's hand reaching, in any moment they are alone, to hold her wife close. They both stand there with a glass of wine, from time to time talking to some important looking man, maybe clients as you assume. You are invested in observing them, probably a little too invested, because you didn't realise that you finished your beer that fast. You look for some place to put it down, but no waiters are around you right now, so you go back to leaning over the smooth, shiny handrail, trying to land your sight back on two women, unfortunately you find their spot empty. Searching through the crowd, you turn right, just to bump into someone standing really close to you. Bump is actually a light choice of words. You fully went into that person just to bounce back, and if it wasn't for their hand catching you, you would surely fall. These two seconds of you almost falling is enough to notice a strong grip on your waist, fingers digging into your skin in a protective manner. To catch some balance, your hand shoots up to grab whoever is in front of you by the side of their jacket with your right hand and the handrail with your left. You pick your head up, and you see Natasha looking down at you, with Wanda on her left side holding you by your shoulder to also prevent you from stumbling back. The woman you went into has this sickening smirk on her face, and you would love to wipe it off, but you promised your friend to be nice, maturity it is.

“I apologise, I didn’t see you there.” You say politely as you move out of their reach, placing your hand from Natasha’s jacket to her chest, pushing lightly to create a comfortable space between you.

“Don't worry, sugar, we got your back.” Words spill out of her smirking lips, as her hands still linger in proximity to your body, and you need to compose yourself for a second. Don't be a bitch, you think to yourself, trying to keep your sarcasm at bay. Maybe honesty will be a good way of dealing with it, so you decide to try it. You clear your throat before speaking, a little too theatrical.

“If you don't mind-’’ you start, but the waiter moves next to you, so you take the chance and put your beer bottle down on his tray, trying not to ruin his balance, before you continue.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go ahead, we don't bite.” This time, Wanda is speaking, and you need to remind yourself to not fall for her warm voice. Her hand did not move from your shoulder, so you decided to gently grab her wrist and physically remove it from yourself. Her skin is soft, softer than you thought, her body is hot which is not surprising with so many people around, and the heating on. As a part of her makeup, she used body mist that smells like roses, and sparkles in the bright lighting of the room. Some of it stays on the tips of your fingers, and you tell yourself to not touch an expensive outfit that you have on, worrying it might ruin it. She gets the idea and actually looks kind of guilty of not letting you go herself after you moved back.

“What's up with the pet names?” They look confused, but you don't mind clarifying. Always willing to go the extra mile if that means that people will leave you alone.

“You saw me… hm… let's see…3 times in your life, you know basically nothing about me, except the things my friends said about me, and for some God knows what reason you feel comfortable enough to call me all kinds of pet names. I just find it weird. What makes you feel so comfortable?” It's funny, the picture in front of you. Two mature, adult and powerful women being taken aback with honesty and putting down boundaries, at least that's what it looks like to you.

“We didn't think you would be against it. Nobody ever was.” Natasha lowered her voice, sounding really confident, which is not fitting for what you read off of her facial expression. Her brows furrowed in confusion and her lips without a smirk, which is not a usual view.

“It's meant to be sweet, heart-warming, and usually it makes beautiful women like yourself feel special.” Wanda adds to her wife's statement, providing a little bit more of their point of view.

“Usually.” You throw under your breath, not being able to catch your bitchiness at bay before your mouth betrays you. Your arms are crossed on your chest, not knowing how to stand or act in front of them. They make you nervous, and you don't enjoy the way your senses are tingling when you are with them. With the goosebumps on your forearms, the muscles on your back tightening, and your fingers twitching, your anxiety is up through the roof.

“Actually, yn, I find it weird that you don't like it. Why does it make you so uncomfortable? You are a beautiful, funny, creative woman, whose company we really enjoy.” Natasha gets a little bit closer to you, her hands lightly trying to reach you, get a chance to touch you again, just being close is all she wants. Pulling any physical reaction out of you gives her information that you yourself are not even aware of. She is really observant of your breathing, how your chest rises when they are close and as careful she tries to be with you, she is sure this is not hatred talking through your body. All of those signs tell her that you crave them, that you are attracted to them. That's what those reactions always meant to them, so it has to mean the same thing, right?

“You see baby, we would love to get to know you a little bit more, but you seem to run away a lot from us. Do we make you nervous?” Wanda is still on your right side, her voice reaches your ear, and you swear to God you can feel the hair on the back of your neck standing up, ugh. Her hand moves smoothly, closer to your arm, the tips of her fingers drawing a pattern on your forearm, leaving a shiny trail behind and as your arm flexes under her touch, you are trying to think of an excuse to move out of their reach.

“No!” You answer her question, probably a little too harshly and too loud. You step back, your body is covered in goosebumps making you feel nervous, cornered and not safe with them. Your arms flex with worry, and you cross them on your chest, informing them that there is a line that you won't allow them to cross. At the same time, your mind is trying to come up with any way to make them feel that you won't let them overpower you, anything to show them that you are not someone to be played with.

“Do I make you nervous, Wanda?” This is the first time you called her by her name, and her eyes widened at the sound, only now realising that she feels much closer to you, than you actually are. It barely happens to her or her wife to feel a connection with people and for both of them to put that much interest in somebody, at the same time. Because of that there is so much need to understand what makes you… well you. The way your friends speak about you, the things they know, and they don't know, and how much of a saint you actually are. This is all Wanda can think about since she saw you at the coffee shop. This is all Natasha is talking about since her wife pointed you out, drinking coffee at a couple of tables next to them, with the most focused look they ever saw on someone. This is not something they are willing to lose, not when it took them so much time to find it. They were on countless dates, dinners, and one-night stands. All girls are similar to each other, most of them not even trying to hide the fact that they are only interested in their money. This doesn't bother them that much, but they decided it's not what they want. The fact is that Natasha and Wanda don't look for a sugar baby, but more of an actual addition to their relationship, someone who will make them feel more whole. Wanda is more patient about getting to know you, trying to make you like them or at least giving them a chance, Natasha on the other hand is impatient, she wants you now, in every way imaginable. Just as Wanda is about to nod at your question, her wife is speaking again, challenging you to reveal what you really think about them, but more in an inflated ego way.

“Please yn, we can see how you act around us, how you squeeze your palms to control yourself, how you shiver when we are close, how you bite your lips at our every compliment.”

“Yes… yes, you are right. I need to bite myself to not be an ass to you. I promised Carol I would try, I squeeze my palms because I wanted to punch you at least 3 times in the last 5 minutes and I shiver because none of you respect any personal space, and it gives me high level anxiety, I would literally rather be in a metal cage in the middle of the ocean surrounded by starved sharks, profoundly bleeding.” Your face shows anger with every line appearing on your forehead, you step closer to Natasha, trying to make her understand that she plays the wrong game here, that you are nervous around them because…. Because they are…. They just….. You are…. Not sure why, and it just hit you. Why would you be, they are not trying to harm you, they are being obnoxious, but that shouldn't make you feel so emotional. This time Wanda is speaking and her voice is so much softer and calmer than Nat's.

“I don’t think you hate us, yn. I think you really want to, but you don't. Let us get to know you, let us show you who we are, and then decide. Give us a chance.” Her hair falls softly on the side of her face, her smile gracefully invites you into her idea, you want to listen to her, and you almost do.

“Exactly, yn, we all know that you would fold for us if we wanted to.” You go straight back to the ground after Natasha's comment. A smirk appears on your face as your eyes meet hers.

“You are so full of yourself. If the whole world is at your feet, then why can’t you find anyone suitable. If you are so confident, why won't you make me fold for you…. Sugar.” With each word, you get closer to her, close enough to look up at her eyes and put a finger at her chest as if it proves your statement. She is a little taller than you, and you look so innocent and sweet from up close. Her jaw is tight, her eyes fixated on you, and she fights with herself not to reach out for you. But Natasha sees more than you are aware of. She sees the way your breath shakes when you lock your eyes with hers. She sees how your body leans to the right when her wife is standing, witnessing the dynamics between you two. Before any of them can react to your comment, Maria comes to your rescue, pushing her way through two women,

“Yn, I need you.” Your friend whines while pulling your arm around her waist. Her face is red, her dress is creased, and she is out of breath. As a good support, you immediately follow her thinking that something happened, leaving two redheads behind, without a second thought. She doesn't ask about what she just witnessed, and you are so grateful for that. You let Maria drag you to the middle of the dance floor, basically making you dance with her because Pepper got tired. You don't blame her, Mia can be a lot sometimes, but that's exactly why you love her, you let music take over and find pleasure in the rhythm as music got a little bit more current style. Lost in having fun with Maria, none of you notice the rest of the group watching you carefully from the resting area. Wanda and Natasha joined Darcy and Carol on the couches, and Pepper brought some drinks over to them. Kate sits close to them but is too shy to attend the conversations. Alcohol is slowly making her loosen up, but it's still not the time.

“Carol-” one of the red heads calls for her, taking her attention off of Darcy on her lap.

“Is there something between Maria and Yn?” Natasha asks boldly, not even trying to hide her motive.

“Actually, I would also like to know.” Pepper chimes in, clearly showing her interest in your friend, she even sounds a little jealous. Darcy opens her mouth to speak but stops herself before it's too late. In this kind of social situation, energy between her and Carol shifts. In public, it's still held in some slow movements and gentle whispers between them, but as the house slowly clears up, only few groups left, they get more and more comfortable with their dynamics. Darcy knows that she should ask permission to speak before talking to her partner's friends, so she waits for her cue. Carol squeezes her thigh and gives her non-verbal permission to answer.

“Yn and Mia were always close, they have known each other a long time now, and sometimes I think they can read each other like a book. There is for sure some sexual attraction between them, but I don't think even they are aware of it. But to answer your question, there is nothing going on between them other than friendship.” Carol takes Darcy's hand into hers, reassuring her that she did good.

“Hm, thank you, sweetheart.” Pepper hums and takes a long sip from her drink, finally taking her eyes off of the dance floor.

“And you-” she stands up, her dress flowing behind her when she does, to add volume to her outfit. She moves to the couch in front of her, occupied just by Kate, and sits beside her closer than socially acceptable. Her arm follows the back of the couch, dangerously close to Kate's face.

“I know you, don't I? I think we met last week at a meeting with Eleanor Bishop.” Kate’s eyes widened at realisation and fear. Her mother doesn't know anything about people around her, and Kate would like it to stay that way.

“I… yes, Eleanor is … my mother, I believe we discussed cooperation between our companies.” How Kate keeps her face straight is a mystery, Pepper definitely intimidates her and after seeing her dancing with Maria and now trying to get to know her, she is at least confused about her own emotions. Today was a hard day for her and wanting to just let loose, mixed with alcohol, gives her enough courage to fall into the casual conversation with a beautiful older woman.

The house is emptying more and more with every minute, it's crazy how many people can fit in here. Everybody falls into light conversions and loosen up after a long party, which is unfortunately a big part of their job. Carol and Darcy are in their own world as usual, Wanda is giggling with her wife about some comment she just said, but when Maria comes back and takes her place next to Pepper and Kate joining in their conversation, Natasha immediately looks for you on the dance floor. You are standing next to the balcony, a few minutes of fresh air can do wonders on your anxiety. It's a cold and bright night. Moon is fully out, brightening up the garden, making it look mysterious and scary, mainly in a good way. A minute to yourself is something you have been praying for since you got here, you know that in just a second you will have to go back and still be fairly active with your friends, despite your exhaustion, so you are trying to enjoy this moment as much as you can. Suddenly, a long shiver goes up from your neck down to the tips of your fingers. You feel a presence behind you and as you turn around, you just wish it wasn't….. Natasha. She approaches you calmly, but there is a strange confidence in each step she takes, each look she sends you, every word she speaks. Because of it, it's harder to read which parts of her are true and which parts are a mask she developed for herself. She is studying your face for a second, taking time to herself to decide her way to approach you, calling out in her head the bullshit of your actions, parts you are not realising are true. She wants to help you with that.

'You are lying to yourself.” You are stunned by her boldness, but you don't speak, allowing her to elaborate on the topic. Your body on the other hand flexes immediately, straightening up you try taking more space, showing her that you are not an easy target, for whatever she is planning against you.

“And about what exactly, Natasha?” You challenge her, that one is obvious, or maybe she challenges you. Either way, you know that all of this is a game to her. She is a predator, and you are a prey, not in this reality you're not. Not in your reality.

“I know you want this y/n, I see you shivering at my touch, I see you looking at me from the other side of the room. The way you looked for me and Wanda in the crowd. I know what you need, and I know what you want. We can give you that, all of it, me and Wanda. You just need to say it, darling.'' She comes closer to you, with each word she tries to lock her eyes with yours to make you truly understand. Her right hand is now lightly touching your left. Her fingers are stroking your palm and her touch is surprisingly soft, delicate, like she is afraid of hurting you while her eyes are saying that, that's exactly what she wants to do. You don't move back, why don't you immediately move back? While you have a second to study her you start to understand that all those words, all she does right now is projecting. She is so afraid of being true with you that she tries to make you believe that her emotions are yours. That has to be the case because you are not attracted to her. Two can play that game.

She comes even closer, with her left hand she holds you around your waist, hand lingering on the small of your back. She doesn't set it down, but you can feel the warmth radiating from it. It travels through you, and you at the top of your head, causing you to shiver. Her perfume is really nice, and it's overwhelming in the best way. It's stronger than Wanda's and so much different than hers, but just as they are together it mixes with each other in perfect harmony, a little bit like them. Her lips are so close to your ear, the intimacy of it makes you weak…. Sick…. It makes you sick. You turn your head to her direction, again being shorter than she at first was annoying to you, but now after her reactions you know how to use it to your advantage, You bring out your innocent eyes, steering up at her makes Natasha grab your waist, and you keep your cool together to not react on that. Her fingers are digging into your skin, her grip, like she is scared you are going to disappear. With the proximity, you both end up with lips inches apart. You smirk lightly when her breath hitches and her eyes shift, they become darker, or maybe it's the lightning in the room, or the moon covered by a cloud, or maybe you just imagined it. Natasha grabs your waist harder, and you put a hand in front of you to stop her, afraid she will try to bring you closer. Your hand lands on her stomach, she is flexed, and it seems like an act all over again. Your left hand is locked with hers, your bodies barely apart, only your palm standing in the way. You can feel two buttons under your fingertips, and her belt at the bottom of your palm, thick leather digs painfully into your skin, so you push at it, causing it to be pushed down. It happens so fast, but you can swear you heard Natasha lightly moan at this action, so you push a little bit harder. She bites her lips hard, and you don't take your eyes off of them as you speak.

"I want..." she focuses more on your voice. Pupils dilated and breath caught in her throat. Only now you start understanding that it's actually you that has all control over the situation. With all her confidence and boldness, in this very moment, you are the one that has control over her. Maybe you judged your friends too harshly on the dynamics of their relationship and this is something you need to put more thoughts in, but for now you need to handle the situation at hand. You repeat yourself.

" I want .... you.... to leave me the fuck alone, and get into your head that I'm not someone you can play with." You saw how her eyes went from lust to shock in a split second. You push her again, getting out of her tight grip on your waist, which you actually might be bruised from, and leave her dumbfounded. It feels like an award.

Shortly after you join them your friend, all of you fall into light conversations between each other, with you actively trying to ignore Natasha and Wanda. They don't make it easy for you, their eyes linger on you too long, too bold for you not to notice, but you won’t give them the pleasure of giving them any reaction. The next rounds of drinks were served and as you try to keep Kate out of taking any more, someone interrupts the conversation of your small circle.

“Hello ladies.” Everybody looked up at a man that decided that the after party is the best moment to shoot his shot with Carol and point her interest at his ideas. He couldn��t be more wrong.

“Hi, excuse me, but the party's over and only the closest friends are staying at this moment, I hope you understand. Thank you so much for attending.” Carol is bold, Carol is confident, and Carol doesn't like to repeat herself.

“Well, that's exactly what I hoped to become.” He is not getting the clue, even when it's served to him on a silver platter. Darcy leaned in to inform you that the man standing in front of you is an owner of a StarL industry and his name is Peter Quill. You heard him before at the party, someone called him Lord and you laughed at the commitment to the party. As it turns out, it's a real title that he tries to get people to call him. His company focuses on tech development, and you can help but smell a copycat of Pepper. His outfit doesn't fit into the topic of the party, his hair looks greasy, and the stupid grin on his face makes you sick. He looks like your high school teacher that you truly hated, who was released from his job, due to his inappropriate behaviour towards some of the students.

“What are you ladies talking about?” Still, this man can't get a clue. He seems so desperate for Carol's approval and probably the rest of the “MILF sisterhood of really expensive pants” club, that you are pretty sure he actively chooses to be oblivious.

“Art, music, girly stuff, probably nothing that would interest you.” Wanda is trying once again to tell him off. Her hand is on Natasha's thigh, maybe to feel her close, maybe to comfort her, but the main reason, as you assume by Natasha's body language, is stopping her from taking the case into her own hands.

“That's exactly the thing I love, especially the part about girls.” Well, that was creepy.

“But I know a lot about art and music. Actually-” he continues, and you wish he didn't. “ I saw this incredible painting, right there.” He points to the place above the piano. The painting is framed with a wooden frame, covered in hand made golden little leafs. It's hard to distinguish from so far what it is, but you had a chance to take a close look at it closely, when you entered the house. The painting shows a beautiful view of nature. Big forest is dark with some light falling through the trees creating spots of breaks between the darkness. It's really detailed, so you can't figure out the real looks of it, if you did not study it from up close. Between each tree in the sunless ground, there is a horror looking creature, creeping from the depth of it, looking afraid of the bright spots.

“Oh, do you like it?” Wanda speaks again, taking your focus off the painting.

“Yes, very. It reminds me of Albert Bierstadt. It's so detailed, I could see every leaf and it's so calm and domestic.” You can't help but laugh at his bullshit. Clearly he learned two or three names just to impress somebody and if you had no knowledge whatsoever maybe you would fall for it, but you do, and you call it bullshit.

“What's so funny?” His arms are crossed on his chest, challenging you with his domination. All eyes are on you.

“Bierstadt is a realist, there is nothing realistic about this painting, and please enlighten me what's so domestic about it?” He seems to be caught in a moment. His hands grabbing the side of the couch with unnecessary hard grip.

“What do you think about it, yn?” Natasha moved closer to her wife, embracing her in a side hug, allowing Wanda to rest her head on her shoulder. They are both focused just on you, somewhat like the men disappeared, like everybody disappeared.

“Well-” you start slowly, not really trusting why they are even asking your opinion. “ I really like it, it's an unusual piece.” They take a sip of wine and wait for you to continue.

“At first, yes it might look realistic, but it's really not. It's a nightmarish painting, showing the fear and struggle of staying in light, or maybe escaping it. It might be about the contrast between light and dark, maybe about how you can see what is really there until you actually focus on the darkness, which not a lot of people do. Not only that, but it reminds me more of Beksinski style than any other.” Wanda looks happy, Natasha truly impressed and Carol has this know it all smug on her face.

“Well, Wanda here created this masterpiece and gave it to me when I bought the house. She has talent doesn't she?” The question is pointed at you. Peter left the group in the middle of you talking, before making an even bigger fool of himself.

“Yes… yes she does.” You answer faster than you can think. You don't take your eyes out of Wanda, drowning in her focus on you, feeling pulled in before you can grab anything in reality to stop it. Your compliment makes her really happy, it's rare for her that someone truly gets her, and you…. You seem to do it all the time. She cannot explain this connection she feels, just as she can't stop smiling at you. Her nose is scrunching a little in the cutest way you ever saw. Natasha kisses her on the forehead, enjoying the moment between you too.

“Well, yn is also an artist.” Oh, god, Darcy, why? You wish she hadn't said anything. She always does that, brings your hobbies or any achievements that you have at any possible moment. There is something irritating about it, and at first you had a big problem with that, but with time you understood, and you felt the love she has for you even more. You never got that as a kid, your parents praising you for grades, your art or internships, college, the list goes on. Darcy only wanted you to feel appreciated, and let you see how proud she is of all the things you did in your life, or simply with yourself. Watching you grow as she grows with you was one of the best things that happened to her, and she will happily remind you of it every day.

“Now I need to know more, what do you do yn? Artistic, in life, work, relationships? Tell us something about yourself.” Natasha is pushing, and she knows she is, but it's harder for you to back up when you are surrounded, and she will take her chance, even if it means not playing fair.

“Well, I'm studying language and literature at the university, working as an intern at a publishing company, and I'm having additional shifts at the bar. About artistic stuff, there are a lot of things, but I mainly write poetry.”

“She wants to put her own poetry book at some point.” Says Maria.

“She also writes essays for other students, she goes to the gym, she learns to play an instrument.” Kate adds, and you start feeling like an item on an auction. You appreciate your friends either way, you know they mean good.

“Our yn is a really versatile person.” Darcy can't help but add her thoughts into the praising bucket.

“Oh well, that's a lot yn, I'm surprised you have any free time.” Wanda talks to you in a more calm way, with no judgment, but you can't help but look for it in every statement. That's a little spice added to your personality.

“What about your family? Any siblings?” This topic shifts the conversation in a way you don't enjoy. It feels like interrogation now. You really want to finish this conversation, run, stop them from talking and asking questions, take all the eyes off of you, but you will try to stay on top as long as you can before your anxiety will drown you down.

“I have a brother. My parents are dead.” You answer casually, like talking about the weather, or household duties on Thursday evening. Your voice is similar to a salesman who's been at the same position for the past fifteen years and doesn't know why he is still alive.

“YN! They are not dead!” Darcy always corrects you, and you know that if she were closer to you, your arm would be hurting now. She calls it a gentle jab, but it's never gentle.

“Might as well be. You know, I'm going to go check if they need any help in the kitchen, excuse me.” This has become too much. Air too thick, shoulders too heavy. You can feel each time your lungs are filling up with oxygen, and you feel like you have too much and not enough of it at the same time. You are too aware of your body, feeling a shiver traveling through your skin but never leaving. You are surprised after going to the kitchen to see it empty, but you couldn't be happier.It's after midnight, and the morning shift of Carol’s staff was going to take care of the after party mess. Silence makes you feel free, the lack makes you feel whole. Just for a moment, you can be yourself. It's not that you are not with your friends or around people, it's just… There are so many versions of you, and all of them need some space. You feel like you have been neglecting this one with the lack of time, and anxiety is her way to make you aware of her needs, of your needs. You decide to grab some iced water. Due to the high ceilings, all the cupboards hang higher than usual. It's so irritating, but you don't have a chance of grabbing one of the cups without getting on the kitchen counter. For a second you debate your choice, on the other hand you can go outside and grab your mug, but that would mean coming back to your friends and probably staying there. Climbing is it. You take off your shoes and jump to sit on the kitchen counter to stand on it slowly to look through the cupboards. The first cabinet is empty, the next one is filled with plates and the third with bowls. How many dishes do people need?

“You need some help?” A voice behind you almost makes you fall, you lose your balance, but in the last second you smoothly land on the ground without any harm. Natasha looks at you and her smirk seems to disappear, at least for now.

“Do I look like I need help?”

“Yes… yes, you do.” Son of a-

“Well, I don't, thank you.” You really just want to be left alone, you want some water, some ice, and 5 minutes for yourself.

“Yn… you're going to hurt yourself, let me-'' Natasha tries one more time as you climb the counter again, this time on the right side of the kitchen.

“I-” first one is a beautiful set of tea and teapot, “-got-” second one is filled with plastic containers, “-this. Ha!” Third one is a jackpot. Yes, it has only vine glasses, but at this point you would even drink from a plastic container. You grab one glass by its thin leg and carefully try to get down.

“Okay, I got you.” Natasha is right next to you in two steps, she grabs you by your thigh and waist trying to help you down, and it makes you jolt away. It was just a second, you would have been okay if it wasn't for her, but you slipped and as you try to get any balance your hand holding the glass slams on the counter, breaking it in your palm.

“FUCK!” you harshly bite your lip to not yell, immediately grabbing your injured hand with the free one. Redhead gives you some space as you pace around, but she tries to grab your attention.

“Yn, let me take a look, let me help.” Your hand is bleeding, and it's not a light one either. You stretch your hand in front of you in fear of ruining the clothes you are wearing.

“You’ve helped enough.” You bark at her like all of this is her fault. It is, but it…. Isn’t.

“If you would let me help you nothing would happen, why are you so stubborn. Ugh.” She is stressed and annoyed by your actions, that much you can tell. She doesn’t yell, but her tone is far from soft or tender. You weren't trying to be mean now, you just want to be alone.

“I- “ You are trying to come up with some good comeback, but the pain makes you shift your focus.

“You are doing it to yourself.” With that, Natasha leaves. She just left you alone as you sat down on a cold floor, bleeding from your hand, staining the floor red, which by the way you will have to clean. You can still feel that there is something in your palm, a piece of glass that causes more pain with every move. Okay, get your shit together yn. You tell yourself as you stand up and take a kitchen rug to try and stop the bleeding, carefully putting it around the piece of glass. You need to disinfect it and clean it from glass shards. Carol's wine collection is amazing, beginning at wines, through additional tools and ending on the glass, but when it shatters it's like sand. All of a sudden, doors open with force.

“What happened?” It’s Wanda, Natasha went to get Wanda. You don't know why but the realisation, the fact that she came back makes you…. Feel something. You are glad that it's not anybody else, or everybody at this point, which you assumed would happen after the big noise caused by your fall. Her voice is worried, it takes you back to the evening when you met her and got a nose bleed. It's the same tenderness, the same soft tone you have heard then. The worry on her face makes you feel guilty. You don't like that feeling.

“Natasha made a bet that I won't be able to juggle with 4 wine glasses.” You joke, you always do. It's light, it's making the situation less stressful and less stress means no arguing, shaming or attacking you.

“She didn't let me help and she fell. I tried to take her down from the counter and I think I scared her. It's my fault, I'm sorry yn.” Natasha apologises and you… you don't know how to act. Why is she doing that? Is it because Wanda is here? She also seems worried but mainly scared, her hands don't seem to find their place, she looks at her wife like she is waiting for her to order what to do, to guide her through the next steps. It's new, and you didn't see that dynamic between them before. It’s like Wanda has all the power in here.

“I just slipped, it's nothing.” You are not sure why you protect Natasha, it was her fault, but… you are doing this to yourself. She is also right about that. Maybe you just want to ease her worry, or yourselves, at the end it's the same thing for you.

“Whatever happened, we need to take care of that.” Wanda points at your hand.

“Do you want me to get Darcy for you, hon- yn?” She catches herself halfway of the pet name, and you appreciate her actually listening to you before. You sit on the floor again with your back to the cabinet while your legs are spread to avoid blood landing on your pants. She kneels in front of you, and you shift immediately when she tries to grab your hand. She looks hurt by your actions, and that makes you explain.

“No, no. It's okay, she doesn't have to worry about me more than she is. Also, I still have glass in my hand and I don't want you to get hurt or dirty” Wanda nods in understanding. When it comes to Darcy, she would be here in seconds scolding you about your behaviour, followed by the most caring moments you ever receive from her. Wanda and Natasha bring you over to the staff bathroom. It's connected to the kitchen, so nobody will see you, and you don't want to be seen now. Natasha went to look for first aid while Wanda helped you take off the stained towel. When she comes back, you hear her speak.

“I have bandages and some plaster stitches, so that should work till we are going to get you to the doctor.”

“No! No doctors, thank you, I'm fine.” You try to stand up and run away from them. You know you shouldn't, but you really can't go to the hospital or a doctor.

“Baby it's okay.” Wanda tries to calm you down by tracing patterns on your forearm skin after she rolled your sleeves up. She slightly pushes you down, so you don't get up, scared that you might get injured even more.

“No, you don't get it. Can we just finish it up here, please?” You don't want to argue, you are tired, in pain, with the lack of sleep, and projects to give tomorrow at school. You don't have time or energy for that. Ignoring Wanda, you get up and try to grab bandages from the other redhead.

“Okay yn, sit your ass down, now.” Natasha is demanding, but she is not aggressive. This version of her is much nicer. It scares you less than a smug version of her, the overconfident bullshit version of her. This one feels more real, and more real is safer for you, because you know what to expect. You sit down and hang your head low. Slightly embarrassed, you let them help you.

“ I'm going to take the glass out and clean the wound, okay? Natasha will put some plaster stitches on you and bandage to keep it clean. Are you okay with that?” The pain is worse now, or maybe the adrenaline is wearing off, your eyes are glossy because of it, and you don't want to pick your head up at Wanda, so you nod.

“Yn, why don't you want to go to the doctor? Can you explain?” She asks, while taking pieces of glass with tweezers, her voice is really gentle, scared she might push too hard.

“I can't afford it.” You answer through your clenched teeth.

“What do you mean, you can't-'' You don't let her finish, you're too embarrassed to even speak about it, but this is your reality?

“I don't have health insurance, I can't afford to just go to the hospital, it would ruin me. I already have to pay for school, flat, my m-” You cut yourself off, clearly the rumble gets too fast out of you, it's better to stay quiet, you already said too much. Wanda finishes her part and after rinsing your hand with water, Natasha takes over. She takes your hand into hers and gently starts to put the stitches on you. Fortunately, the cut is not too deep, it should heal on its own.

“I really think a doctor should take a look at this, and your headaches sugar. We could pay for it, that's no problem.” Natasha is gentle with you, and you can forgive the pet name slip this time. You look at your hand as she finishes, thankful for the help they’ve put in. You look at them and straighten your back, tears still lingering at the corners of your eyes, it still hurts, and you can feel it all now. Your red eyes betraying your poker face.

“No, that's absolutely out of the question. I know you just want to help and thank you for what you just did, but I don't need you and I certainly don't need your money. You can't just buy everything.” Your voice is not accusatory this time, it sounds like you are in pain, but not the physical one. Both women in front of you learned a lot about you today, and they seem to put that knowledge into use. It doesn't matter how much they want to take care of you, spoil you, or be close to you, they don't want to cross your boundaries any more, or at least they will try. Natasha wants to try one more time to convince you, but Wanda stops her before she can, and she speaks up.

“We understand, hopefully it will get better soon. Can you please at least let us know tomorrow how you are feeling?”

“Yeah, sure.” You answer, trying to sound casual. Wanda takes her wife's hand and Natasha takes out their card with her free one. She hands it to you, knowing that you probably got rid of the last one she gave you. She is not wrong. They leave the bathroom, giving you some time alone. You throw away all the rubbish from tending your wound and clean the kitchen floor the best you can. You go back to your friends and after answering multiple questions about what happened, you decide with your friends that it's time to go home. They grab their stuff and get into one car. Darcy and Carol are lost in their moments of goodbyes which are always so dramatic, but you hope it will never change. Kate and Maria are half asleep at the back of the car, leaning on each other.

You check your phone seeing multiple messages and missed calls, sighing to yourself you decide to deal with that tomorrow. Cold air eases your mind a bit, and you appreciate the time of the day. It's late, but there is nothing better for you than the world at 2 am.

“Are you sure you can drive?” This time Pepper checks up on you, Wanda and Natasha already left, and from what you've heard Pepper stays at Carols today.

“Yes, I'm sure. It’s okay, don't worry.”

“Take care of yourself, yn.”

“You to Pepper.” You go into the car and take your seat behind the wheel. Darcy opens the door and sits next to you, while her girlfriend knocks lightly at your window to pull it down.

“Text me please when you will be home. Keep her safe for me.” Carol is always so protective over your best friend, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Darcy deserves nothing less.

“Always.” You answer and go straight back home. You have to get up at 6, and you will make the best out of those 4 hours of sleep.

Next chapter

tag list : @autorasexy @lizziejolsen @natashaswife4125 @sayah13 @romanoffskisser @lijo-8 @jjiiuuisssagcebrcw @natashaswife4125 @dumbassbitchwithnotits @teenybean, @marvelwomen-simp, @ripofflizzie

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #stonemags #elizabeth olsen #marvel #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #sugar baby au #maria hill #pepper potts #kate bishop x valkyrie #kate bishop #carol danvers

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gepardling · 10 months

Note

ok FLUFF REQUEST TIME!! Gepard in a relationship with an actor(ess)!reader. I can imagine him trying his best to see every play and if he doesn't, he'll at least send flowers and whatnot. In regards to the reader, I believe they would understand and knows that he can't go to every single one of their plays. In short, I wanna see cute fluffy relationship scenarios or headcanons with these two on and off of work. Maybe a lil bonus if the two live together :3

on the stage, behind the stage w/ gepard.

desc. : unironically i think u can tell i read oshi no ko b4 writing dis, n im so happy i did bc i feel it gave me a new perspective on dis topic !! i didnt go angsty on it tho bc we need fluff in dis household. i wrote headcanons nd a short lil bonus fic 4 u dis time :) ( wc : 1k )

tags / cw : sfw, just fluff, gn!reader, reader is part of an acting troupe, just casual relationship things, not proofread

○ Gepard makes it his top priority to see most, if not all, of your shows. There have been many nights where he’s had to cut it close with his frontline duties, showing up just in time to witness the closing act. He always makes sure to bring flowers, your favorite kind, of course, and it’s always a HUGE bunch of them. Bonus points if he grew them himself!

○ There were times when you'd perform consecutive nights in a row, and your house would soon run out of space to keep all the bouquets Gepard delivered. But don’t worry, you would talk to him about it if you move in together. There really is no need for him to spend this much money on you! Yet he always insists, and one way or another, your house will be filled with flowers again.

○ Every one of his soldiers would know if you ever did a musical play because Gepard will not stop humming your solo after he heard it the first time. He also diligently memorizes the lines of your duets after you accidentally sang one together while cooking, and now he can't get enough of singing with you. You both get good practice too! It's a win-win.

○ Naturally, your acting career can be demanding. This makes both you and Gepard busy people who are rarely at home. It only makes those moments you get to spend some private time together all the more special, seeking solace in each other’s embrace as you momentarily escape your responsibilities.

○ Gepard understands how overwhelming your work can be, constantly dealing with other people, their opinions, and expectations of you. That being said, he doesn’t "abuse" his position as captain, per se. He may be a little biased when he’s quick to shut down any negative commentary people make about you, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

○ You don’t appreciate it when he hides those opinionated thoughts from you, but he's undeniably looking out for your mental health. Arguably, it’s slightly better this way too, and if you ever feel down or doubt yourself, he provides you with unwavering love and dedication.

○ He ensures you know that he’s not in love with you because of your talents or performance, but because he loves you for who you are. He greatly admires the passion you have and all the hours of hard work you put into acting, one of the many things that draw him to you.

○ Of course, life isn’t always perfect, and there are times when your schedules don’t align. If he has to leave for the frontlines before one of your concerts, he leaves you a letter of encouragement and a big bouquet on your dresser. He tries to see you before he has to leave as often as he can, but if you’re in dress rehearsals or learning a new script, there isn’t much he can do :((

○ On those rare occasions when he misses your performance before coming back home, there will always be a plate of warm food waiting for you, along with flowers or gifts that he personally gives you when you arrive or he picks you up from the theater, whichever comes first. He’s right by your side, listening intently as you recount the performance to him while you remove any remaining stage makeup.

○ This next one is purely food for thought, but if the acting troupe you’re with is relatively small and self-sufficient, Gepard would do his best to take up sewing to help you prepare or fix any costumes for performances. Sure, he breaks a ton of needles, and he’s probably not the best at it, but it’s cute that he tries so hard to lighten your workload while he’s just as busy himself...

You couldn’t help but nervously peak beyond the curtains, possibly the fifth time that night. The lights that shone on the stage glared so bright that everything beyond it seemed to melt into a sea of darkness, the faces of the audience obscured by the void. The final act of the show was about to come to a close, possibly the pinnacle of your acting career, but Gepard was still nowhere to be seen.

Tonight was the last performance of this play, and Gepard, despite promising to be there for the first show, was still missing. A stagehand tapping on your shoulder brought your mind back from the shadows, and you realized you had been biting your nails unconsciously. With only two more minutes before stepping on stage, you needed to clear your mind for a good performance.

You pushed aside negative thoughts and swallowed your doubts, preparing yourself to step onto the stage. The scene required you to portray relief and joy as the protagonist reunites with their estranged lover after a challenging journey. However, an emptiness lingered in your heart, making it harder to wear the mask.

As the curtains rose, you squinted slightly against the blinding lights. The deafening roar of the audience rang painfully in your ears. Yet, as a professional, you knew you had to play the part. With one last gulp, you forced yourself into character, banishing any wavering nerves from your voice.

Just moments before the climax of the scene, a distant shuffling in the back of the theater caught your attention. Through the haze of darkness, you could vaguely make out the figure of a person who had just arrived. Your heart surged with relief when you realized it was none other than Gepard. His disheveled hair and slightly worn uniform were evidence of his haste.

When his eyes met yours, the light returned to your gaze, and your heart soared. If not for the arrival of your fellow actor on set, you might have forgotten your lines. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, and your genuine excitement upon seeing Gepard seamlessly merged with your character's emotions. You delivered a flawless performance, wrapping up the night with an encore.

You couldn't wait to find Gepard backstage, and you rushed to the lobby, barely out of your costume. The force and speed of your hug nearly threw him off balance, and he had to hold the bouquet at a distance to protect it. You scolded him for making you worry, and he simply nodded apologetically, soothingly rubbing your back. When you finally pulled away, he handed you the bouquet and planted a sweet kiss on your lips.

"I told you I'd be here," he whispered, intertwining his free hand with yours. Gepard always followed through on his promises, no matter what.

unfortunately the title is the name of a genshin quest (lol !!) never quite felt a piece come 2 me as easy as dis 1. absolutely in love w/ the request !! the dark part of my mind kept screaming "what if geppie doesn't arrive" but of course he would !!! he wouldn't miss it 4 the world...

#gepard fluff #gepard x reader #gepard x you #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #gepard landau #gepard hsr #♥︎ | milky writes #♥︎ | request

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intersexbookclub · 6 months

Text

Discussion summary: Trans-Intersex studies

On 2023-09-29 we met to discuss our first foray into academic intersex studies! We read three chapters from Transgender and intersex: Theoretical, practical, and artistic perspectives, edited by Stefan Horlacher (2016).

Overall reactions:

Dimitri: I liked there were perspectives I don't normally think about or see

Elizabeth (@ipso-faculty): I found the Costello chapter really useful because I've wondered why there isn't more trans and intersex connections and this explained it for me

Michelle (@scifimagpie): it tapped into and articulated a larger strain in the queer community “the people who want to have a gender” vs “the people who want to destroy gender, there is a fundamental struggle in that can only be dealt with through tolerance and acceptance

vic: multiple chapters make clear that intersex is made by doctors. This thing happens when you give birth and you don't know what to do and conveniently there’s someone confidently giving you a (usually really bad) answer… we're foisting off this thing that doctors aren't trained to deal with it properly plus have medical arrogance

Connections to Disability Studies

Though the book was intended to get intersex studies and trans studies in dialogue, we made many connections to disability studies throughout the discussion.

Elizabeth: The book talks about the dynamic that the doctors are the ones who socially construct intersex, which is similar to how doctors contribute to the social construction of disability.

Elizabeth: And also how in our society, when it comes to who is listened to most on disability/intersex, doctors come first, followed by parents, and it's those of us actually affected who come last (disability/intersex)

Michelle: it was interesting to see the arguments against eugenic abortion… The amount of eugenicist propaganda that's still around in our society, the text addressing the fact that people would abort an intersex foetus didn't surprise me but did alarm me

Elizabeth: Coming from disability studies I felt the question of who is/isn't intersex isn't actually a productive question, in DS we posed those questions for a minute before realizing it's not productive, to instead focus on ableism

Dimitri spoke about the idea of seeing your body as a garden that you tend to, rather than a machine to be fixed, and how it’s been a helpful framing

Michelle: one thing about accepting my intersex identity is that my body isn't broken for having a hormonal imbalance and it's just a way of being

The social and medical models of disability were invoked by Costello in chapter 4, to show contrasting models of intersex (social vs medical) and transness (social vs medical).

-=-=-

Chapter 1: Introduction by Stefan Horlacher, Pages 1-27.

This chapter gave a brief overview of the state of trans studies and intersex studies, and the motivation for putting these two research areas into dialogue.

We didn’t talk much about this chapter.

Elizabeth: I personally learnt a new word, repronormativity, from this chapter! Per Wiktionary, it refers to the “assumption that all humans want to have children, especially within the context of a monogamous heterosexual relationship”

vic rather aptly described it as “so GERMAN”

-=-=-

Chapter 4: Intersex and Trans* Communities: Commonalities and Tensions by Cary Gabriel Costello, Pages 83-113

This chapter reports on a sociological study of trans and intersex communities on Second Life, noting commonalities as well as tensions between and within the communities.

Everybody found this the easiest chapter of the three to read lol 😅

vic: “I really appreciated the breadth of voices that were included. The author clearly has an argument, but still lets people speak. Like with the person who said ‘I'm not intersex’ and the author was like ‘this could come from fragile masculinity’, it was neat.”

Costello’s conceptual framework

To understand both intersex and trans communities, Costello employs a framework which differentiates a:

Medical framework, in which being intersex/trans is framed as “as a biological problem: a physical lack, superfluity, or malfunction” (p98). While Costello doesn’t use the word “truscum”, this is how many of us are used to referring to people who understand transness through this lens.

Identity framework, in which being intersex/trans is “framed as social in nature: social stigma is directed toward those who are in some way physically variant.”

An important insight of this study was that to understand the relationship between the trans and intersex communities, you have to realize there are four communities at play, not two:

Medical framework trans people (truscum)

Identity framework trans people

Medical framework intersex people

Identity framework intersex people (who are the only ones who use DSD)

And as Dimitri summarized, “the tensions [between the communities] arise in the disorder framework, a lot of the problems lie in the disorder framework, and it's pretty important to make that separation”

In Costello’s study, anti-trans sentiment was linked to the intersex-as-disorder framework

Costello writes about how the majority of intersex people are trained from birth to employ the disorder framework, which can easily result in anti-trans sentiment. Many intersex people are raised in a way where the slightest gender deviance is punished, and feel threatened by gender deviance.

Multiple people noted how the intersex participant “Anna” from Costello’s study had misplaced anger at trans people, that it’s unfair to blame trans people for trans fetish porn when trans people have such difficulty getting conventional employment, and that the demand by cis & perisex people is more at issue

Elizabeth: so many intersex people are told they're intersex by a doctor and that they're disordered and the doctor will fix them so they're not given any community because the doctor is like "I'll fix you" and people are just used to the disorder framework because that's what they've only ever seen.

vic: Yeah, being born visibly intersex getting framed as a medical emergency

Elizabeth: really liked the dig that the shame of the parent comes above everything else

Dimitri: many parents don't know what's going on when their intersex baby is born and they're kinda pressured into the surgeries… the parents might have veered to a more neutral stance on their own, maybe they have some hesitance about having a kid being different, that the surgeries are such a pile-on by everyone around them.... the parents of the kids need their own support, what do the parents need or could have had to make them not make those choices

Similarly, intersexism from trans people was linked to the trans-as-disorder framework

Costello discusses how many disorder-framework trans participants made statements along the lines of wanting to be intersex, or have an “intersex variation of the mind”, mistakenly thinking that this means they may be entitled to free gender affirming therapy (it actually makes it harder to access gender affirming therapy).

Costello explains why this sort of sentiment from trans people is poorly received by intersex people: “It alienates intersex people employing the identity framework by working against their mission to recast physical sex variance as diversity rather than disorder. It alienates intersex people employing the disorder framework by implying that trans-identification [...or] gender-confusion should characterize the intersex person. And the stories told by some trans* people employing the disorder framework about having an impossible intersex history angels intersex people of all camps.” (p107)

Michelle: To be intersex is to have a medicalized gender, and how any gender nonconformity is medicalized… it makes sense why so many trans people would cling onto a misunderstanding of intersex

Michelle: the medicalization of being transgender and you need surgery to fix a flaw in your brain, and the medicalization of intersex, they both need an anti-eugenics approach of let people be a little broken/different

Elizabeth: as a disabled intersex person it's been confusing that trans people would want medicalization like they don't know how terribly medicalized ppl are treated, and the chapter helped me realize they are already medicalized and they're trying to get a more "legitimate" medicalization rather than realizing they’re trying to play a rigged game

vic: transness is medicalized, too–the diagnosis is gender dysphoria and the treatment is transitioning. Also transitioning is only seen as a viable treatment because literally everything else doctors did to “cure” trans people didn’t work (they tried *so* many things). Trans people treating medicalization as something that’s desirable sucks, but I feel so deeply for anyone who was put in a place where that seems like their only option–people who feel like their only way forward is to claim things that don't make any sense. They're like “please, I'll do anything, I'll lie out of my ass, help me”. Those poor people!! And, of course, they also cause harm. It's all so sad.

Criticisms of Costello’s chapter:

Elizabeth: I felt a weakness was not talking about the hypervisibility of trans people vs the invisibility of intersex people. Like trans people who have huge platforms to talk about gender stuff and should know better than to perpetuate perinormative ideas about sex.

vic: transmascs tend to really minimize our own difficulties. We're not well studied, and when we are, the data consistently shows we have the worst outcomes of any gender (in things like health, mental health, employment…). Disheartening to see Costello buy into it at times.

-=-=-

Chapter 5: Transgender and Intersex: Unavoidable Essentialism and the Normative Struggle for Recognition by Sebastian Jansen, Pages 115-140

High level notes

This chapter makes the argument that it’s impractical, if not impossible, to avoid essentialism of some form when theorizing about sex/gender, and so academic gender studies scholars should spend less time trying to avoid essentialism and focus more on improving the material circumstances for intersex, trans & LGBA+ individuals.

vic: I think they were saying that we can't do it because it can't be done without throwing trans & intersex people under the bus

Elizabeth: ch5 was how I realized that in the social [identity] model of intersex where we see intersex as a natural variation it is essentialism and I'm okay with it thanks to this chapter

We all agreed this was a challenging read. As vic put it: “it was very ‘as you know’ and I didn't know”, and that the author was probably nervous about writing it.

Jansen’s chapter got us talking about the nature of gender

Michelle and vic talked about how finding out truth about gender is building houses on shifting sand

Michelle: I liked the stairwell metaphor [that female is one level of a building, male is another level, and there’s a stairwell in between]... I don't like the idea of female and male in opposition, they are categories, you can be both/neither/change

Elizabeth: I did like how ch5 talked about how gender isn't just a thing in your brain, it's made through interactions of people interpreting your gender in interactions and they didn't talk about euphoria and I think gender euphoria is that feeling of people seeing you for the gender you are

Michelle: [Judith Butler’s] gender as conversation reminded me of how art and research are forms of conversation... is gender a form of art?? [we then spent some time talking about this]

Elizabeth: I like the idea that gender should be like hair colour - it's there, you can change/experiment with it, it affects how people see you, but we don't organize society around it and I agree that's a good goal

vic: my gender is contextual - it's different depending on whether in an arts context vs. in interacting with landlord, etc

vic: in War & Peace there are four pages spent describing the beauty of a woman with a moustache–Tolstoy waxes quite poetic about how beautiful & beauty-enhancing her moustache is.

Elizabeth: yeah so many cultures see women's mustaches and/or unibrows as beautiful and hate how current Western culture hates hair

Elizabeth: yeah it's SO RECENT the idea that women shave legs, the Gillette company had saturated the men's market and convinced women that their hair is bad

A main critique of Jansen’s chapter was how it only considered Western perspectives

Elizabeth: ch5 was so Western, based on a mind/body dualism and I wanted there to be a discussion of other cultural constructions, like in cultures without mind/body dualism from what I can tell it's often that trans and intersex are not separated.

We then spent some time talking about different cultural ideas about sex/gender such as Two-Spirit and hijra, and the intense medicalization of transness in Russia

Dimitri described how Russian/Slavic culture is big on repressing any kind of sexuality, and being queer is deeply tied to perversion, which kicked off a discussion of Left Hand of Darkness

Elizabeth: another reason I wanted postcolonial stuff was it'd be useful to have strategic essentialism discussed (Spivak), which seems really relevant to a discussion of essentialism.

Overall we were all glad we got to give our brains some exercise, and we’ll be reading more intersex studies in November! 😅 Join us for a discussion of Holmes’ Critical Intersex on Nov 24.

#intersex book club #book summaries #queer theory #gender studies #intersex studies #trans studies #trans theory #sociology #sociology of gender #intersex books #intersex #book reviews #book review #book summary

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itsclydebitches · 1 year

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The opposition to rewrites in the FNDM is just so goddamn weird to me, given that one of the cornerstones of another fandom I'm in is a rewrite of a canon storyline that had some really cool ideas but dogshit execution. I see people saying that the rewriters are arrogant for thinking that they can do RWBY better than the official team, but no, in my experience even if they are arrogant it's equally possible that they're right. Official doesn't mean "The Best" or even "Good", just official.

Exactly. Ultimately it shouldn't even matter whether rewrites are "good" or not because

a) That's a highly subjective interpretation no one will ever agree on

b) They're written by amateurs for free as a hobby - with "amateur" meaning someone who does not produce RWBY writing in a professional capacity, not someone who is automatically "bad" at the art - and thus rewrites would be at huge disadvantage even if we did want to judge their quality

and c) That's just what fanfiction is?? Transformation??? The writer's motivation is inconsequential. Whether they're producing this because they think they can craft a better story than canon, or whether they simply want a creative means of celebrating it, the end result is still the same: a new, unofficial RWBY product that readers will inevitably compare to the original, favorably or otherwise

So yeah, it's wild to me. I've literally never seen another fandom so anti-rewrite. It's usually the opposite - as you say, a cornerstone of fan engagement - where fans, both jokingly and not, talk about how sometimes fic is a love letter and sometimes it's a "FUCK YOU STRONGLY WORDED TELEGRAM TO FOLLOW." Despite RWBY appearing unique at first glance (from my perspective, anyway) I wonder if part of this is due to larger fandom trends? Meaning, RWBY is comparatively young as fandoms go and I've noticed in recent years a prioritization of canon that hasn't been around before, particularly when it comes to shipping. Some of that is good imo (like the push for queer canonization) and some of it is just downright odd (what do you mean I'm not "allowed" to ship them just because they haven't spoken to each on screen? Since when is THAT a requirement?). Though RWBY is definitely an extreme case, there seems to be this generalized move from, "This is our canon and it's great, or maybe it sucks, but either way it's a spring board for all of THESE cool things" to "This is our canon and it is scared. It is perfect, flaws and all. If you're going to add to it I need a detailed proposal for how this fits into the established world, encapsulates the original author's vision, and maintains characterization even though I'm too young to know what OOC stands for." Certainly in RWBY's case, I wonder if part of it stems from the rise in social media and, as a result, fans "personal" relationships with the actors and writers. When you're seeing a creator's tweets all day and feeling like they're your online friend, you might be less inclined to "mess with" their work; as opposed to seeing an actor/writer at a con once a year, going home, recognizing that they're a complete stranger outside of any fantasies, and then getting on with playing in their sandbox because why wouldn't you? They're never going to know. This is the age of fans sending their fic to actors to read aloud and tweeting at writers that such-and-such had this to say about the show. Though this was done in a cool and positive light, I have legit had a meta of mine tweeted at a OFMD actor and, if the like he gave is any indication, he read it... which is a weird thing to think about considering he was not the audience I had in mind while crafting it. Those kinds of interactions has got to have some kind of impact on fans' perception of what they can and cannot do with the material...

Anyway, today's PSA is that if you want to do a rewrite of any story - yes, even RWBY! - you are absolutely allowed to do that regardless of how "good" it supposedly is. Go forth and get creative. Get messy. Do whatever the hell you want and if someone in the fandom tries to make you feel bad about that, tell me and I'll manifest a Lego in their shoe.

After all, it's not like the entirety of RWBY is built on transforming others' stories or anything :)

#rwde #rwby #fic things #mymetas

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lover-of-mine · 1 month

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Hello, I hope im not bothering you, but I can't help and ask. I know you said you had thoughts and to wait the end of the season, but not gonna lie, I feel suckered punched. I tried not to have hope, but still after all the promos ( I know most of them weren't official, but still...) and I wanted to know your opinion/feeling about it all. Im also using this ask to tell you that your posts and tags make me smile a lot, so I also wanted to thank you for that it gave me company in this fandom even thought I dont dare and reach out except now...

Okay, darling, first of all, thank you, I'm happy I can be a positive presence in the fandom for you. Second, I'm gonna be as diplomatic as I can here. One, I think some reactions the fandom has don't need to reach the people they are about, and it is shitty to put an actor in that type of position, even more when not something he said. Second, I think Ryan proved why he was in pr jail, because, well, they are in damage control mode, because considering the way queerbaiting is leading people to believe there will be a romantic relationship when that was never the plan, and like it or not, the things Ryan said paired with the new things that have been said, could be read as queerbaiting. Please notice I said could. We are dealing with an ongoing story, so anything is a possibility. Buddie is in the middle. I think contextually they make sense together, but I also think that they wrote themselves into a corner. I made a whole post about that you can read all my thoughts here, but the short version is that the stakes are too high. They can't not know the potential love story they have on their hands, BUT the potential they have of being one of the best slowburns in television makes it that much harder to actually write that payoff if there wasn't a plan in place and they accidentally did that by playing off of Oliver and Ryan's chemistry. They did establish Buck and Eddie as family, and yes, their bond is stronger than one would expect of two best friends, but while I think it would be unsatisfying, leaning into the family angle without making it romantic will always be a possibility. One of the logistical problems with getting Buck and Eddie together is that, unlike bathena and madney, they work together, so you either need to get one of them out of the 118 or you need to acknowledge their relationship every episode they are both in, and that is complicated in a show with 7 main characters. There's also the issue that the foundation they have laid out for buddie doesn't really allow for them to use the usual tricks to keep slowburns interesting because most shows tend to have issues with slowburns once the tension is resolved, and the build-up with buddie is high. Whether the build-up was intentional or not, you can recontextualize the show to make it seem like this has been building, it's what allowed me to write 4k words on how Eddie has been in love with Buck since 2x04 just by playing with the perspective around them. And you can very easily do the same with Buck. That kind of expectation is not good since it's not the buddie show. The show is not only about Buck and Eddie, but to put buddie in situations as an established couple could make the show about them because, since they are always together, there will be an expectation around showing them being a couple all of the time that they might not know how to work with because there isn't really another television couple that would fit in their category. Even if we compare them to shows like castle, the mentalist, bones, the couple are the main characters, so it's okay if the couple is taking away from the rest of the show, and honestly, all 3 of those shows kinda tanked their own build-up for a while there. And Buck and Eddie literally have a legal document binding them together, for all intents and purposes they have a child together, and they are best friends, so there's this expectation around them if they ever get to be a couple that they will be a good couple. You can't have them fumbling around much in the way other slowburns do because they are solid. So there's also the issue of keeping them interesting because television writers don't like letting couples have peace.

Sure there are issues you can place on buddie to "spice things up" if they think they got boring resolving the tension, like playing with the sexuality angle, or the abandonment issues Buck, Eddie, and even Chris have, but they are not things you can really drag out. They work in the immediate aftermath of them getting together, but then they would have to get creative and they probably don't know how to get there. But why am I talking about the logistics of the couple in the big picture? Well, I think Ryan has been playing Eddie as at least a little bit in love with Buck the whole time he's been playing Eddie, my main argument for that is that he has the same reactions for Buck that he had for Shannon (post on that here), so Ryan could very much just gotten comfortable and said his interpretation of Eddie's feelings for Buck without it being something he was explicitly told. Both Ryan and Oliver said Buck and Eddie are getting closer this season, so "trying to give the people what they want" could very much just be what Ryan himself is trying to do with the text he's being given. It could be that the marketing team didn't think the fans would react to what he said like that and that's why he was allowed to say it. They could be backtracking because Buck and Eddie are getting together and what Ryan said would be a spoiler. Or they could be baiting us to raise the ratings. Every angle here is possible. We only watched one episode of the season so far. We don't know where the story is going yet. It could be going anywhere. It could be going somewhere. Maybe by the end of the season, we will have something explicitly canon on buddie. Maybe they fucked up and the people calling queerbaiting will be somewhat justified because, honestly, I'm getting teen wolf cons flashbacks here. I do think it's fucked up that people are expecting Oliver to deal with something Ryan said. I do think emotions are running high because of many things that happened in the past 2 weeks. I don't think it is fair to scream queerbaiting yet. But I do unfortunately think we might get there if they keep raising the stakes between Buck and Eddie on the show with no payoff while letting Ryan say things like the things he's been saying. For me, the important thing to remember is that the story is in the middle, we don't know where the show is gonna take Buck and Eddie individually and together, so I think everyone needs to take a breath and stop acting like the show already ended and wait to see where it's gonna go.

#believe it or not this is the short version #if you wanna come here off anon we can talk more privately #but yeah #these are some of my thoughts #i think we are not there yet but we might get there #at this point i dont think the 'oh but 911 does deal with queer themes' argument is saving them #because there has been a build on the queer expectation around Buck and Eddie especifically #and not doing anything about that would be using the expectation of something queer to up the ratings #and thats literally what queerbaiting is #but we haven't watched enough of the season to say that #we are in a tricky spot thats for sure #911 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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andersdotters · 5 months

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Oh my gosh, thank you so SO much for taking the time to outline the process! I don't even know where to begin with expressing how much you've managed to help me and how much I've learned from you :D

You actually gave me a whole new perspective to think about such as how contrasting traits in a character/person's personality isn't unique. For example, the people who appear the most confident in public may also be the ones who show the most insecurity in private. Here I was thinking it was unique to an individual, but that could very well be a standard for confident people (or those who appear most in their element) that I just never noticed. You really connected the dots for me, thank you!!

And third attempt?? The amount of effort you put into this-- I appreciate you so much <3 It really shows how much effort you put into all your work and the outcome is always incredible (case in point!)

And don't worry at all about the length!! Alongside appreciating how comprehensive and thorough your explanations were, this was so fascinating and fun to learn about. I could seriously read what you have to say about analysis all day!

Once again, thank you for all your help. From the top to the tags, everything was such a treat to read. I feel ready to pick up a pencil and give it another go!

PS. The Dottore example made me do a double take and cackle :')

This is such a late reply, I’m sorry, but thank you! I’m glad you liked it and am even more glad it made sense!! Sometimes I try explaining things and end up overcomplicating everything. LOL The most important thing is to remember to view them as normal people.

I’ll give you a bit more advice when it comes to writing because I saw a post earlier today that got me thinking. Regardless of what kind of fanfiction you write, don’t project your preconceived notions of how things should look like. By this, I’m talking about familial relationships, friendships, romantic love, etc. Just like real life, characters have tolerances for different things, so you should adapt your fics to suit them.

More below

This is something that is very evident when people try to write romance. A lot of people assume romance is characterized by flirting, physical touch, sweet words, physical attraction, etc. Majority of the character x reader fics have majority of these traits. The reason why is because this is what most people have been taught romance looks like. That’s how mainstream media presents it to us. But if you look at real life, this is not necessarily how it looks.

Just like real life, some people are terrible at flirting. Others lack a romantic bone in their body. Some people are wordy, others are not. Some show bombastic displays of love, while others show love in the small things. Some people are touchy, while others find it awkward. Some people immerse themselves in love while others try to keep a logical mind.

Romance changes depending on the character. Just because (the metaphorical) YOU wish to be treated a specific way romantically does NOT mean the character is naturally capable of it. This is a habit that so many in the character x reader community have. If you wish to write a character realistically, you need to take their capabilities in mind, not what you desire to be true.

That being said, the power of fanfiction is that you can make anything possible. If you want Alhaitham to make flower crowns with a smile on his face, you can do that. Nobody is stopping you. But it’ll take a very deep understanding of his character to write such a thing true to it and not ooc.

I say all of this like I am skilled at writing characters in character, but I still have a long way to go. I try to keep these things in mind because this is how I enjoy to write. In no way do I expect others to feel the same. Some people write just to write and that’s okay. But if you want to try and write characters more realistically or have more realistic plots, these things are good to keep in mind.

#interactions #also i am glad you found the dottore thing funny #i was trying to write a better explanation and then just gave up and went with that bc it made me laugh LOL

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synthetic-ultramarine · 4 months

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Ten Book Reviews

To celebrate the new year I thought I'd do some short book reviews! This is by no means a comprehensive list of everything I read in 2023; I decided to focus on fiction rather than non-fiction for this post, and I slowly trimmed down my list of books to focus on the ones that gave me the most to talk about.

Books I Liked:

Annihilation, Authority, and Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer There's so much to be said about these books, they really deserve their own post. This series is so characterful, so atmospheric, and so masterful in its use of suspense, dread, and tragedy. Lives up to the hype 100%.

Devil House by John Darnielle John Darnielle reads his own audiobooks, and he's good at it. This book follows a true crime writer as he confronts the consequences of framing people's lives as narratives. It's about haunted places. It's about the often-forgotten potential for cruelty in the storytelling impulse. But most of all it's about the thesis that it's self-defense for a squatter to kill a landlord with a sword. If you like this, Universal Harvester is also good.

The Man Who Was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton I think someone should do an adaptation of this that takes place on tumblr.

Til We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis In this book, C. S. Lewis writes about a woman's struggle against god- no, wait, where are you going, come back! It's a take on the Cupid and Psyche myth from the perspective of the jealous sister, here reimagined as a genuinely concerned sister. Vivid imagery, beautiful prose, and a meditation on the relationship between the human and the divine that I still found interesting as a homosexual apostate. There's some fascinating stuff about the androgyny of God in here. Yes, for real. From Clive Staples Lewis.

Radiance by Catherynne M. Valente This book is overstuffed with concept. It's set in an alternate 20th century where the empires of earth have settled the nine planets, and it's about the film industry, which is based on the moon because the united states never colonized california. The story is a collection of ephemera - interviews, ship manifests, tabloid columns, clips of damaged film - relating to the disappearance of a renowned filmmaker who vanished while working on an infamous lost documentary. Also, space whaling. It's about that as well. Every time I try to describe how I feel about Valente's writing style it comes out sounding like one of those weird perfume reviews. I'll just say I found the prose overwrought at times, but ultimately I'm glad kept reading. The book is packed with mythological references, and while some are quite effective, there are also some that don't really do anything. There's a lot of genre-hopping; the noir sequences chafe against the style of the prose a bit, but the cosmic horror scenes are chilling. What is really good about this book is how thoroughly everything in the alternate-history setting is thought through. It talks about how the long day-night cycle of Venus affects the work of a film lighting technician. It talks about French colonies on Neptune losing radio contact with Paris as the earth passes behind the sun. It confronts the idea of Venus and Mars and Pluto as terra nullius, even though that's a concept some people seem to prefer not to critique. I'm going to be thinking about this book for a long time. If you like Nope, Dark City, or Mystery Flesh Pit National Park, you should read this.

Finna by Nino Cipri Weird, fun novella about two exes who still love each other, wandering through a maze of alternate universes for minimum wage. Portal-esque corporate satire, snappy pacing, and a compelling central relationship. So good.

The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon A beautifully written story about body horror, giant robots, gay sex, religion, mortality, and tenderness. The worldbuilding is intricate, sprawling, and sometimes ambiguous. The relationship between the main character and the love interest is far from the Standard Romance Subplot Structure, it's fresh and very compelling. The in-universe sacred poetry that shows up throughout the book is also very good. I have it on hold at the library for a reread. This book is tragically underrated because they're marketing it to the wrong audience. It's more cronenberg than canva cover. Tor should be selling this to the Annihilation weirdos, not the Red White & Royal Blue crowd. People go into it with the wrong set of genre expectations and then don't know how to react. I'm here to set the record straight: The Archive Undying rules and you should read it. I especially recommend this book to Friends at the Table listeners, since the author is One Of Us and the show is a notable influence.

Books I Didn't Like:

Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty The setup to this book is very compelling: 6 people lived a happy life together, isolated on a spacecraft for decades, until they were all violently killed. New copies of their younger selves wake up in the ship's cloning facility with no memory of last 60 years. One of their future-past selves was a murderer, and the killer's clone inherits their legal culpability. While the high-concept murder mystery is a great idea, the future politics are profoundly unimpressive, and sadly by the end of the book the latter has entirely subsumed the former. There keep being these flashback scenes about cloning politics back on earth - not only are these very politically shallow, they also kill the claustrophobic ship-in-a-bottle atmosphere of a good fucked up space scenario. As an example of the shallow politics: "all major religions" are stated to be intolerant towards clones. Apparently all the sects and denominations of All The Religions are just doing the same thing, as if they are interchangeable with each other. And then there are The Riots, which are portrayed as a political misstep, too disruptive, too loud. And then of course we have the NYC real estate billionaire villain. Florals? For spring? It's beyond me why a locked-room murder mystery would even need a villain who wasn't in the room. There's also a hacking scene I found so absurd that it nearly made me return the book unfinished. Disappointing.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman Yeah, that's right, I'm gonna talk shit about Neil Gaiman on tumblr. You think you can scare me. old man?! I can't be silenced! Anyway, remember the Sexy Lamp Test? This is the worst failure of the Sexy Lamp Test I've ever seen. The girlfriend that the guy in this book is fighting with his brother over could be replaced by a nice car the brother took for a joyride, and the plot wouldn't change. At least with a car there wouldn't be consent issues.

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey In the real-life 20th century, there was a proposal by the U.S. government to introduce the hippopotamus to North America as a meat animal. Thankfully, it was scrapped. This alt-history western asks: what would the world look like if they went through with it? It's an intriguingly bizarre premise. Unfortunately, when I made that "your story should have scenes that aren't bioware cutscenes or tvtropes pages" post, this book was one of the reasons why. The dialogue and characters are nothing to write home about, and the plot is just rote. Here we are in a bar fight. Now we are planning the heist. Now we are remembering the tragic backstory. Now the antagonist has double crossed us. The hippos are involved in the plot, but they don't drive the plot in any way that depends on their being hippos. They only really differ from horses aesthetically. The thing that really bothers me about this book, though, is that this story clearly wants to be a modern, progressive take on the western genre, with a queer cast and all, but it doesn't give a single thought to the existence of native americans. There are no native main characters or side characters. Despite being a story about the radically destructive transformation of the north american ecosystem by the settler state, there is not even a single throwaway "the Choctaw are not pleased with the feral hippopotamus situation" line. Radiance gives more thought to the status of native american society in its alternate history than River of Teeth, and Radiance takes place entirely in outer space. Come on now.

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greatandquestionablecontent · 9 months

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WIP: in the mirror I saw who you could have been

Do you like fantasy stories with disaster bisexuals and psychic pain magic?? Do you like relationship shenanigans and identity crises interspersed with horrific necromancy??

✨ Revamped, reanimated, now with even MORE undeath! ✨

Summary

With the rare ability to suck the life energy from mortals, Delta has healed from death countless times. Except just once, a crucial part of them didn’t grow back.

Missing almost all memories, Delta has a new mission this time around: to wear the guise of their former self and help take down the last of their fellow energy vampires.

Jade, their past self's lover, once knew them better than anyone, and her perspectives from their tumultuous relationship are the best reference Delta has. And then there's Gavin, a soul Delta recognizes from another plane, now a determined rebel leader with his own ideas about how Delta's powers should be used.

Tangled in a web of past relationships and previous promises, Delta must decide where to go from here, and how much they really owe to a self who is never coming back.

Start from the Beginning

1 -- Delta wakes up on a battlefield (edited from original posting) 2 -- Delta struggles to heal (edited from original posting) 3 -- Delta’s starting get a hang of this whole pain vampire thing 4 -- Delta’s body remembers Jade/ they meet her for the first time (again)

Character studies and backstory snippets (Can be read at any point)

Andromeda -- A flashback, Delta meeting Andromeda and learning about themself.

If Home Is Where The Heart Is Then We’re All Just Fucked -- A flashback. Set shortly before 1 -- when Delta comes back different. Jade has a bonding moment with Maren, learns Maren’s backstory, and gets some unwanted advice about her own life.

Maren: Clarity -- Problematic knife lesbian has a rare moment of self reflection

an undead person thinks about their favorite ghost -- what it says on the tin. Delta looking back on how they got to know Ilya

This Happens Later: Mountain Time, in chronological order

Note: Those marked with an * were written before I decided to change Trystan’s name to Delta in this series. There are hints at a previous draft with more of an Alternate Universe plot and a lot less Reincarnation and Resurrection plot, so some details are inaccurate, although similar things will still happen at some point in the new version. I’ll rewrite them at some point!

*Warmth (No longer fully accurate, but will still happen)-- Trystan, Jade, and Ari are venturing up a treacherous mountain after everything’s gone to hell. HUDDLE FOR WARMTH

*More mountain time (No longer fully accurate, but will still happen) -- what it says on the tin. Trystan, Jade, and Ari are still in the mountains. Ari's still pregnant and Trystan still has to torture people!

*Stop (No longer fully accurate, but will still happen) -- Trystan, Jade and Ari are still in the mountains and it SUCKS. Major environmental whump and creepy undead pain-vampire shit.

*An Occupied Body (No longer fully accurate, but will still happen) -- Direct sequel to Stop. Ari struggles with her emotions as she and Jade figure out how to deal with undead Trystan.

“I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me” (Whumptober Day 19, 2023) -- Delta (formerly Trystan in prev drafts) has gone to get help, leaving Jade and Ari alone in a cave to wait. Jade decides she’s done waiting, and guided by a mysterious voice, brings Ari along with her to an unknown fate.

Just Sweet Enough -- Sickening Jade/Ari fluff after they finally get rescued and make it out of their traumatic mountain ordeal.

These aren’t canon anymore but they have Fun Vibes. They’re all from the draft where it was about Alternate Universes.

old prologue (portal girl!) -- a young teen comes down from the mountains, claiming to have stumbled through an impossible portal. Ari backstory which is no longer accurate.

“I like to think there’s a world where you never gave up on me.” Ari and Denna talk about feelings, and how Denna never came looking for Ari.

#in the mirror i saw who you could have been #my writing #wip intro #in the mirror

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soya-ix · 5 months

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Love Letter

Written for Day 1 of @hisakikiweek 2023

I wasn't made for love

And you weren't made for sideshows

I don't get the jokes

For you it's how the day goes

I made up my mind. I'd be on my own

I thought I'd always known

I was taught to fight

And be the bravest soldier

Trained to be the light

For what lies on my shoulders

I don't need a man. I'll do it alone

I thought I'd always known

But I was your secret mission

Kept failing but you never gave in

You fought and prayed for a different ending

It did the trick. Now we write new pages

I don't show off scars

But you know when to cure me

When they speak of us

They'll say that it's a mystery

I'm perfectly fine. I know you'll be home

Guess I didn't really know

That you had a bad addiction

Ran in your veins and you couldn't quit it

You paced in haste in search of an exit

Then stayed by my side and we'd last like a legend

Love was an obligation

Best served with reputation

You knelt before me

I checked your eyes

Fixation was all inside

In the death of a faux romance

I saw true love come to life

'Cause I was your secret mission

Lingered in dreams, kept you up and haunted

You tossed and turned til daylight came in

Out of the woods, in the clear you found something

'Cause you had a bad addiction

Conquered your heart, then left you out there fading

A kiss on the lips and you broke the curses

Cutting through fate, in love we are falling

(Some more reading for those who're interested in why I wrote this👇🏻)

A few months ago our mod of the event @sabishi-tomo told me there may be one-sentence prompts for the creators in this year's HisaKiki week. And very randomly someday, I thought of this question for myself: if I were to describe HisaKiki in one sentence, what would it be? It was a fun challenge but also extremely hard. I couldn't think of something proper just by myself. So I borrowed a line from Taylor (of course) and rewrote it. Then I thought it looked like the end of a bridge. So I wrote a bridge. Then I thought if I have a bridge why not finish the whole thing? I've always wanted to write something about HisaKiki. So I tried harder and finished the whole thing.

I wanted to find words to describe their relationship, and their story on the whole. The first question I thought I should answer was "what's unique about HisaKiki?". And one thing that came to me, which later became the opening line, is that Kiki doesn't seem like she's made for love. She's born and raised to be a leader. And inherently she is one. Growing up, she's always trying to be stronger, more independent and reliable — to her that's what it means to be a qualified leader. For that reason, and perhaps for genetic reasons as well, she seems cool and aloof most of the time — not a typical lover. Meanwhile, "love" is one of her main obligations — she must marry, for political purposes. So she's not "made for love", but she is obliged to "love". And it's fascinating that she's actually falling in love with the one she chooses to be "in love" with. Mostly based on that, I wrote these (supposed) lyrics.

At first it wasn't meant for any prompt we have this year, but halfway through the writing process I noticed it could be seen as a love letter from Kiki's perspective, so here I am sharing it for Day 1 :D

There are lots of concepts, references, descriptions etc. that I borrowed from Taylor, so for the Swifties it would probably be extra fun to read. Haha ;)

Hope you liked it!💖

#hisakiki #hisame lugis #kiki seiran #hisakikiweek2023 #hisakikiweek #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #ans

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boleynns · 2 years

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Do u have fic recommendations?

I'm gonna assume this is for Daemon/Rhaenyra since that has been all I've talked about for months haha. And definitely have plenty of recs! In general I love reading really long fic (like, in really popular pairings I will set my parameters to see 50k+ or 100k+ fics only...), so due to the relative newness of this ship's popularity, most of my recs are incomplete. I also have way more that I am subscribed to that absolutely could be faves eventually, but that are just a little too early in the story to guarantee.

Canon/Canon!AU

To Ashes (Series) by Emerald_Aphelion (~30k, series incomplete but has 3 complete works so far) -- AU from Daemon's return from the Stepstones, basically where Daemon and Rhaenyra are just a little more thoughtful and forward-thinking within their relationship and with the political situation they're in. Established Relationship Vibes but also slow burn romance at the same time, they make each other smarter and better by working together, Rhaenyra bonds with baby!Aegon AND Rhea, Daemon picks Rhaenyra up and puts her on a table and calls her his queen at one point (hot), and this is the ideal Dance fix-it.

my eyes are aching to see you--126AC by SeveDeChampagne (~2.5k, complete) -- set between Episode 7 and 8, a very spicy First Time Post-Birth one-shot that contains multiple sentences that are some of the most intensely romantic things I've ever read. Considering my love of long fics, it takes a special kind of short fic for me to be so moved and attached.

How to Win Thrones and Ensnare Dragons by Writer_in_the__Dark (~15k, incomplete) -- Time Travel AU (my kink) where Rhaenyra is reborn into her baby-self. Only a few chapters in but I am HOOKED by the writing style and characterization of The Early Years dynamic, and am so looking forward to seeing how this evolves as time moves forward -- but based on the writing so far, I know it will be wonderful.

put down that gravestone by darkgods (~35k, incomplete) -- Post-Episode 4 AU, where Daemon went back to the Vale and Rhea didn't die, and then Rhaenyra gave birth to very Daemon-looking twins (wonder how that happened!), and then 10 years later Rhea has dead and Viserys invites Daemon back to be Hand. This story is so well-written and rich with character detail, I honestly just want to re-read it over and over! It has so beautifully dove into Rhaenyra's psyche, Daemon's personality (from his own perspective and from others), built a very sad and realistic portrait of Jace and Luke's lives as outcasts in court, set up some deliciously hurtful and complicated strings to unravel between Daemon and Rhaenyra due to this inciting situation, and has already indulged my pathological need for some Outside POV content by adding in Luke's (very well-written) perspective on a dinner scene. The fact that the chapter count is currently at 4/36 and we already have 35k words has me so hyped, you guys don't understand how badly I need piles and piles of giant fics.

Significance by AmazingAngie (~21k, incomplete) -- AmazingAngie is amazing because of how quickly she writes such amazing material! This is a Soulmate!AU, and this one in particular is just so insanely lovely so far! I'm a sucker for a "meant to be" setup so I will always love those from the get go, but I especially love the nuance in this story, and the ways that knowing that they are the endgame changes the trajectory of all of these characters lives.

you came/you called by scarlettscribbles (~10k, incomplete) -- basically an Episode 10 AU, kind of, but beyond that I just suggest reading it and going with the flow, because once I was like 80% into this first chapter I finally realized what was happening and it was so exciting. Needless to say I am pumped for the rest of the story.

Modern!AU

No joke I have literally NEVER liked Modern!AU's before, except for with 'Merlin' (because even if it wasn't explicitly stated, I could pretend that it was Reincarnation). It has just never appealed to me, until now with Daemon and Rhaenyra -- because they are just that powerful. Also none of my Modern!AU faves are any of that "Oh, actually, Daemon is adopted, or they're third cousins twice removed, or Daemon is only a ~symbolic uncle", like, we all know what we're doing here 😂

Lets Ignite Under the Ember Skies by grandlovescheme (26k, complete) -- So freaking good! The uncertainty, the jealousy, the tension, the ~vibes, the ~sexy ~vibes, it is a tightly-written and very well-characterized modern version of these characters and I love it.

Petrichor by sweetestsorrows (katschako) (~23k, incomplete) -- one of the chapters made me cry for real. Very intense "we are way too close to be appropriate, and it is causing angst, but i wanna be closer..." vibes, and I am so here for it. It really is wonderfully translating their bond to a modern lens, and all the problems and tensions that would come along with that dynamic. It made me go "omg that is so intensely romantic", it made me literally cry, it made me go "ooh ~spicy", its got it all.

the beauty queen in tears by writingwhatidream (~30k, incomplete) -- AHHH I am obsessed with this story (almost as obsessed as Crispin is with Rhaenyra in it...). To try and sum it up, it is a Modern!AU A/B/O Royal Family fic...but that all sounds so much more reductive than it actually reads. For me, it is: delicious Daemon/Rhaenyra "Us Against the World" vibes, where even if they're not physically together they are 100% together, with a healthy (or rather unhealthy, in-context) dose of creepy Outsider POV, and the promise of Alpha/Omega-induced drama, love, possessiveness, and danger to come. It is juicy and beautifully written, and is giving me so many things I want all in one place.

#thank the gods for writers writing the best stuff for free #hotd #daemon x rhaenyra #there is so much good fic happening i am truly personally blessed to read it

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tokyokookmin · 1 year

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I'm so glad to hear you're back here in tumblr. Its been quite long since you took your break from this platform. Of course you are also a human and you need a break sometimes but I really missed seeing those notifications on my phone saying "tokyokoomin just posted a post". I'm excited to know that you'll be posting regularly now. After all, you are our jikook queen, one of those people who entertained us throughout the covid period and would share with us about your favourite jikook moments etc. You remained unproblematic and you love to chat with us and reply to comment..... Making us feel really welcomed. I have been here since 2021, anyone else? Besides that... I enjoyed to read your top 10 or fav moments and you never neglected our feelings. You would always reply back and you're extremely friendly! You always gave us true news and confirmed culture related asks, you would share with about bits and pieces of Asian (being one yourself) culture and therefore i love your content very much. Welcome back our jikook Queen 😍💜. Looking forward for more posts!

-🦋Anon

Omg this ask melted my heart 🦋 Anon 😭😭♥️ you're the sweetest!!

I briefly took a break from the community in the second quarter of 2022 (I think I hit 1000 followers that time) as I needed to focus on myself and sort all my things out. I barely opened tumblr. I did sometimes but I wouldn't post anything. The break I took in 2022 was really good and I enjoyed it very much. I was silently active in the bts community. Just because I didn't post anything, doesn't mean I didn't know what was going on 🤣. Well last year was a roller-coaster for the bts armys and my personal life as well. So much happened lol!

I will post regularly now. Yes anon, more jikook moments posts are coming. Actually I'm in the midst of editing one moment ask so that will be out really soon!

I tend to post content which will able to produce a positive impact without any harm or malice in any possible way. I hope whatever I posted throughout the years managed to carve a smile on your lips 🥰💜

I would like to continue my Asian culture segment too! Its really fun to explain regarding our culture and what similarities Korean culture has with SEA culture! Be it food or traditions or sports, we are united! 💗

I really like to reply to all of your comments as well. I'm a social butterfly, I love to interact and discourse with people. All of your comments are certainly not ignored by me. It's my duty as a responsible Blogger/admin to reply and give my take on your thoughts about the topic I mention in my posts. Be it an emoji or a few sentences, I'll make sure to reply to all of you 🥰

As for my jikook posts, I'm really happy to know that some armys have actually turned into jikookers/ they support jikook from reading my posts alongside with a few other blogger posts. It's always nice to hear that your posts gives a positive impact on people's thinking and perspective of relationships and body language. I poured my heart out creating every single jikook posts. So yes, I really appreciate it when people compliment my posts and blog. A little support won't hurt, aren't I right? I love every single one of yall 🥰💜

I vividly remember opening my tumblr app during the day for a few hours to respond to yall and complete my drafts in 2021 😭. I only intended to write a few posts but I never knew I would be that committed to a blog lol 🤣.I met some really cool people through this community and yall are really sweet people. My moots too! They're amazing people and I absolutely love their content 💗.

I met a lot people here, even Korean jkkrs that spoke to me in the DM's and some of us are mutuals in twitter haha 😂💜. I'm glad I was able to establish a better and safer community here where we are gushing over our faves without being judged or anything. I really appreciate this platform to be honest 🥰

Any changes I noticed throughout the break?

As for jikook? Things never changed, they're still the same, same old glances, same old interactions, same old behaviour and body language ♥️. Yall are most welcomed to ask me jikook asks and contact me for any post recommendations! Bora💜💜!

Bts? That same old band I knew in 2018 are still the same. Never changed and never will, they're our humble Kings 💜💜

I have actually seen a few misconceptions about me in a few asks that I received recently. FYI (to all my new followers) I have been here since 2021 and I'm a jikook and BTS based blog. I post both jikook and bts related content. Just because I'm more leaned towards jikook in this blog, doesn't mean I can't post bts content.. I am a 0T7! I love bts with my whole heart and I will post regularly about bts members. Be it group posts, dynamic posts or bts solo career posts. All 7 of them are precious.

I miss all them but I hope we will embark on this new journey called Chapter two together 💜

I hope to be more active this year. Yes anon, your hype blogger is back and is ready to rock and roll!

I'm here to entertain y'all with lots of content this year! Psst... Currently, I'm working on my masterlist. Basically compiling all my content together and separating them into their folders. I hope to work faster on that and obviously more moment posts are coming. More posts of my perception of jikook moments, like the old days. I'm not going to engage in any hate posts anymore. I'm looking forward to make more of jikook moments and dynamics posts😉. Stay tuned guys 🥰

This blog is a safe place for 0T7 stans and jikook stans. Nothing else than that.

Also! We're close to hitting 1.5k followers! Thank you everyone for supporting this blog and sticking here with me! Your support is kindly appreciated. I never thought this would be possible but y'all disproved this perception of mine. The jikook Tumblr community is huge! Even though I was on a hiatus, my blog was still active. I gained 500 followers and received lots of love from y'all. It's remarkable, it really is.

🦋 Anon, I truly appreciate your love, your the sweetest! I just want to wrap you into a hug 😭💜

This whole post is a mess but it's a heartfelt one. I hope y'all enjoyed this little update from me. Hoping to make more meaningful memories here 💜🥰

Sincerely, tokyokookmin (that one Asian girl that expresses her love for bts and kookmin, doesn't really type in a bombastic way. Just a simple girl which types in simple terms. A STEM enthusiast) 💜

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strawberrycola · 1 month

Text

hello. i made a very long, very indulgent addition to the sam and max subreddit post earlier, and decided to make it its own post because i had way too many thoughts for a reblog. and the idea of clogging notes was eating away at my brain like mice eat a cheese. this is mostly just train of thought, so i apologise if it's complete nonsense. i've just thought a lot about sam and max's relationship, and the connection lgbt (and neurodivergent, for that matter) fans have had to the series, from my perspective since i was like 8. obviously that's gonna be tinted thru a tumblr lens, because ftmp that's where i see The Good Stuff. and i'm gay as hell, so there's bias. ok read more time kiss kiss.

anyhoozles, coincidentally i've been back on my sam and max bullshit recently, as i finally got a chance to play "this time it's virtual". and discovered vr is not my thing.

so to start, listen...i don't think sam and max's relationship is quite as cut and dry as i believe myself and perhaps many others would imagine/hope. i'm eyeing the "susan" gag from the aformentioned ttiv, in particular. but as your resident specialist in "complex and obscure knowledge of three series total or so", the question of sam and max's relationship has been here since the very beginning of the official comics. like. this has been a thing. pretending it's new is foolhardy. and wrong. obviously there's "like butch and sundance", the wedding toppers, hell, the devs of the telltale game trilogy lampshade their relationship a very decent amount, both in the game itself and in the commentary. at the end of 209, "chariot of the dogs", they directly bring it up during the final cutscene tie straightening maneuver max does. one of the devs literally gets excited about it, iirc. and one of my personal favourite examples is "do you find my warmth...alarming, sam?" from 305, "the city that dares not sleep."

that, in particular, is one of several lines directly from MR. PURCELL HIMSELF, that he gave to the devs each game as lines that must be in the game.

and speaking of season 3, i'd like to mention 305, "they stole max's brain".

(i am now holding "noir sam" so close to my chest, jsyk. that trope means the world to me. it has influenced SO much of my work, and i still use napalm's playthrough on youtube as a sleep aid. REMASTER WHEN.)

of course i and many others latched onto that shit, are you kidding me???? that whole episode was RIPE for hurt/comfort. minor spoiler warning for those that would mind, it's a roaring rampage of revenge plot. at least for the first 30 minutes or so. it's part of a long history between the two of freaking the hell out the second they're separated from each other in a way that doesn't end in like, five minutes. (305. if you know, you know. fkin brutal, man.) sam, in the second act of the game, has been affected by an alternate reality plot, and fully believes he has carried max's brain in a jar his whole LIFE and seemingly has no plans to stop doing so!! it's part of a season where the WHOLE PLOT revolves around the nature of their relationship and how it could change. you don't have to be a shipper yourself to understand how that could be incredibly compelling to the people that fancy them as a couple.

and it's a fandom that i give a lot of credit to lgbt people for revitalising in the mid 2010s~ (i was already a fan by then, and i'm still really curious as to why it blew up so much, but hey, who's complaining?), as well as in 2021~ in response to skunkape's remaster of telltale's season one "save the world" installment, and the release of ttiv. (obviously the actual demographic spread across platform to platform is a varied thing, etc. etc. i'd like to stay firmly in my lane, and i don't wanna overstate any particular demos in my discussion here, or hyperbolise too much.)

Obviously, you don't have. to be a shipper. completely fine. pretty common. Who Give A Care. and we're not even gonna get into the "not suitable" content. i can't fault anyone for not being cool with the actual sexualisation of childhood stuff they like. that's something i'm pretty "ambivalent with a leaning towards discomfort" about for quite a few things myself. and it turns out there wasn't even any "unmentionable graphic imagery" to begin with. shocking. HOWEVER. i'm fascinated but not completely surprised by the blatant homophobia and disgust towards the fanart of the ship.

like, to be nuanced about things, and it's not like the admin is extending the same courtesy here, this is clearly an older fan. like i think from around the same timeframe i was first introduced to it, give or take. maybe they missed a lot of the tumblr mid-2010s activity, or maybe that's going in to their Burning Disgust towards Yaoi Sam and Max Kissing Not Clickbait. i know the fanart had some level of cross-posting, at least on youtube as dubs iirc. OR maybe i'm a fool who is actively tricking you with my words and none of the above is true at all. however...pal. again, in my opinion, we owe those lgbt and neurodivergent kids and adults our whole rights as a fan community. you don't have to like it, but you do have to be respectful, jerkbag.

i can't be the only one who was devastated by the drought of content post "the devil's playhouse". we had a [1] singular whole webcomic to tide us over, with the occasional sketch on purcell's social medias. of course, there was a small community of fans, and some incredible stuff they made, looking at you Sam Dies At The End. i weeped. but it was slow and steady. and then, out of seemingly nowhere, people en masse suddenly REALLY CARED ABOUT THE THING THAT BROUGHT ME SO MUCH JOY AS A LITTLE GUY. like, fuck man...i first found out what autism was when i was real young because max's character description on wikipedia contained speculation as to whether or not he has it. (jury's still out, ...but we all have our little comforts. okay? also speaking of, "is max gay?" is like. one of the longest ongoing bits. like cmon dude.) now granted, by 2021 i was a little old for the new wave of shipping that sprouted up. tiktok edits are Not Always My Thing. but that's okay!!!! it doesn't need to be my thing. i'm really glad they're having fun. :] and i don't want to come across as like. infantilising in my discussion of the younger fanbase, so i apologise if my tone has come across that way. it really is simply the comforting thought that kids like me can experience what i had.

i remember how much fun my friends and i used to have when we were 16! (hi xavier, if ur reading this. miss you, buddy. :]) we got silly with it! we got angsty about season 3!! we wrote fanfiction, hell, an amazing fic my friend wrote that i beta'd is still the most kudos'd shipping fic on ao3!! the fanartists i liked had such an INCREDIBLE grasp on how to write sam and max's banter. it was a good time! and knowing these characters are giving joy to a new generation makes me giddy, dude. hell yeah! get "feral" or whatever the hell it is these days. find comfort in characters that don't really care about anyone's opinion except each other's, who get to be as weird and annoying and gross as they want all the time. that tend to punch up. that show love differently than what's seen as conventional. that end up saving the day, not even because they have to, so much as they genuinely enjoy each adventure together. max was my personal opportunity to feel comfort in all my weird freaky mannerisms i kept safe behind the polished exterior i had to wear as a kid. i found solace in the thought that those two were practically made for each other, as i stumbled through my own gender and sexuality crises. i loved how dry and dark sam was allowed to be. the banjo bits, the phone jokes, the repartee. so much of this series has influenced me, and helped me become who i am, as a creator and as a functional guy who Does Things.

so that's a small bit of why i think sam and max had, and still has, a lot of appeal to people that grew up like me. there's a lot of rough stuff i went through that made the idea of a couple of anarchist detectives completely devoted to one another that go around the seedy underbelly of america saving the day ("almost on purpose!") really, really interesting. steve purcell is unapologetic about how gross america can be, especially in the comics. at the heart of it, sam and max do what they do both because they enjoy it, and they enjoy each other. and i think, to overlook that, is to miss some of the whole point of the franchise. oh, i'm sorry, giant cockroaches literally everywhere is fine, streets crusted in various goos, totally chill, but gay kissing is the thing that Absolutely Nauseates you? plugging your ears and screaming gross seems like...kind of a weak move here, ngl. a work that doesn't shy away from how confusing and wild life can be has a decent chance to be compelling to marginalised groups, who often have to put up with the more disgusting aspects of reality anyways. at least these two odd guys are having fun with it. sam and max understand each other, each of their strengths and flaws, and choose to be with each other every day because of and in spite of them. they choose to love where they are, because of and in spite of its many, many, many flaws. they choose to be who they are because they love what they do. there's something touching there, if you like to think about such things. there are some occasions i find myself wishing sam and max's relationship was more...concrete. i wish we had an answer to Does Sam And Max Is Gay? but at the same time, being vague and obtuse is like. their whole shtick. so maybe it's just right how it is. and uh. obviously this is a fictional series. in the end, it's all how we enjoy it that matters, and it's not the end of the world. and as a final cherry on top, nothing beats turning to my husband and asking, "is sam and max queerbait", before delighting in the 3 hr conversation that follows.

and to get to the point. as the old adage unfortunately goes, it's...okay. to not like...ships. and i can even somewhat understand being frustrated by a subreddit you created being "flooded" by a thing you're not into. only somewhat, because a: we've always been here, and b: because you can. just not look at it? idk if reddit has a filtering system, but. the scroll wheel is free. to throw a tantrum and ban topics because you're personally offended people think they're gay? you might be missing out on some of the most fun you can have outside the series, and you're spitting in the face of the people who held this fandom up on their shoulders like atlas.

and you're being a dick about it.

TO CONCLUDE:

wah wah they're gay gay homosexual gay and they don't pay taxes. deal or die, fake fan.

#bee bumbles #thanks for listening to my ted talk.#at the end of it all. mod's a coward. watch the new shipping subreddit become the active one #like the jojos subreddit all over again #also so many subreddits have issues with questions popping up over and over again. get over it pal. hand over admin to someone else #if you're not having fun anymore #like i get it would prolly suck to hand over something you created. but you know what else sucks #vitriolic homophobia and censorship because you saw fanart of sam and max cuddling as they sleep one too many times #jesus #i thought we got over the idea that shipping exists in fandom in like. 2012.#freelance husbands #hey. just in case you're interested.#update: lol mod's getting clowned on rip

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