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https-yeonjun · 3 months

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the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)

summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.

or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.

wc. 14,444 words

genre. angst

tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl

a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.

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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.

it was the summer before third grade started.

it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.

so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.

you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.

the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.

and him.

the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.

you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.

at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.

she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.

you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.

“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.

“what?” you were slightly taken aback.

“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”

“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.

“i’m soobin.”

“how old are you?”

“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.

“why did you move here?”

“my dad got a job.”

“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”

“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.

“i can teach you.” you offered.

and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.

by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.

and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.

the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.

when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello.

“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.

“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.

“just okay?” you pressed.

“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.

“did you miss me?”

“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.

“did i say something funny?”

“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.

“we don’t know that.”

“oh, we do,”

he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.

“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.

“do you like your school?”

“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”

you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”

“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.

“i know, but still.”

“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”

“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.

“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.

but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.

the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.

the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.

the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.

the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.

when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.

“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.

“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.

“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.

you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”

“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”

“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”

“i meant it when i said i missed you.”

“i know.”

“are we good?”

he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”

you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.

“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.

“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.

and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.

the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.

“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.

“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.

“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school.

as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”

“yeah,” he affirmed.

with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.

“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.

your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.

“how?”

“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.

a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”

you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”

a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.

save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.

“me too. i’m y/n.”

“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.

“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”

should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.

“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.

meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.

“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”

“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.

soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.

“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”

“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”

you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.

and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.

being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.

even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.

after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.

“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”

“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.

yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”

“he’s such an asshole.”

“what did he do this time?”

you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”

“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”

“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.

“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.

“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.

“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”

you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.

to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help

from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need

to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me

from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it

to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?

that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.

as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.

you open the door to soobin.

“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”

his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”

“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”

“you’re in therapy?”

“yeah, since middle school.”

“oh.”

the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.

“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”

“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”

the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.

“you know what you’re doing?”

“what?”

“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.

“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.

to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.

“when’s your next test?”

“in two weeks, i think,”

“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.

as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.

from soob: test day! how are you feeling?

to soob: i think i’m going to throw up

from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!

you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.

finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.

“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.

after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.

“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.

“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”

“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”

that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.

“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”

“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.

“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.

“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”

“i taught you how to make friends?”

“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”

“hmm.”

“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.

“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.

while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.

“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.

soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.

“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.

“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.

“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”

“i don’t care. whatever you want.”

wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.

as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.

“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.

“we’ve seen it like a million times,”

“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.

after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”

your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”

“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.

“what?”

“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.

“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”

his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”

“soobin, it’s—”

“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”

“why not?”

“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”

“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”

“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”

“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”

“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”

“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”

“i don’t… i don’t know.”

“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”

you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.

“yeah.”

he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night.

your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.

the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.

“something happened last night.”

“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.

“well, not really.”

“not really? what happened?”

“he told me he liked me.”

yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.

“and he kissed my cheek.”

“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.

“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”

“don’t get your hopes up.”

“oh, no.”

“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”

“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”

“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”

“he lives right beside you.”

“and he’s moving away in seven months.”

“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”

“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.

“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.

she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.

“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.

“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”

with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.

the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.

“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.

“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.

you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.

he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.

“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”

a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”

he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”

you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”

“can i kiss you now?”

“yes,” you giggled.

he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.

the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.

you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”

“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile

“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.

“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.

as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.

“okay, we can go now.”

you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.

for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.

and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”

“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.

“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”

“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.

she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”

“no, she’s going with her parents.”

“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.

“that’s random.”

“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”

“i won’t. i promise.”

“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”

you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.

“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.

you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.

“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.

“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.

“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”

“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”

“what if i mess up?”

“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”

“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.

the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.

you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.

for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.

“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.

“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.

“because i had you there with me.”

“and your dad came.”

“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”

“at least he was there.”

“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”

“i need to tell you something.”

“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.

“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.

“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”

“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.

“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”

“that’s great but–”

“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”

“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.

“why?”

“we had so many plans.” you pouted

“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”

“yeah, you’re right.”

you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.

the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations.

“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”

soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”

“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.

“yeah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”

“what about soobin?”

“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”

“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”

“what?”

“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”

your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”

“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”

he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.

you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.

“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.

“yeah, it’s getting late.”

“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.

“yeah, i’m just super tired.”

“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”

“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.

you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.

maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.

“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.

you felt your heart sink.

you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”

“you think i should go?”

“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”

“okay,”

as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.

when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”

“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.

soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”

“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.

“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”

the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”

“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.

“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”

“where did that come from?”

“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”

“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”

“i’m being serious.”

“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.

you sighed. “i do, but–”

“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“so what’s up?”

“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.

“that’s not what i meant.”

“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”

you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.

“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.

“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”

“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.

“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.

“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”

“so, you want to break up?”

“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.

“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.

the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.

the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.

“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”

“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”

you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”

“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.

“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.

“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”

he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”

“and what if that’s not enough?”

his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”

“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”

“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.

with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.

to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.

later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door.

“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.

“hi,”

“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”

“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.

“really?”

he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”

“been better,” you confessed.

he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.

“so you wanted to talk?”

“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.

“for?”

“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”

“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.

“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.

“and where is that?”

“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.

soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”

“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.

“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.

“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.

“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.”

“is that so?”

“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”

“he was?”

“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”

“they do!”

“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.

“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”

“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”

“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.

“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”

“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.

“okay.”

he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.

when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.

soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.

“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”

“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.

“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.

“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.

“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”

“so?”

“so, that’s too far.”

“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”

“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”

“well, why not?”

“because, you’re here.” you admitted.

“so, you’re staying for me?”

“you don’t want me to?”

“no,”

“oh,”

“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”

“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”

his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”

“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”

“nothing’s going to change.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”

“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.

“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”

you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”

“no time like the present.”

five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.

as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.

your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.

your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.

you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.

at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.

as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.

yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.

as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”

as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.

you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.

you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.

for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.

but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.

this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.

as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.

his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.

growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.

a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.

some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.

“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.

“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.

or not.

“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.

“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”

“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.

awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.

as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.

soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.

you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.

gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.

soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation.

“are you sure?” soobin asked you.

you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.

“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.

leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.

the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.

“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.

“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”

you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”

“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”

the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door.

“yeah, maybe.”

“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.

you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”

“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.

“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.

the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.

one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.

you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.

another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.

you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.

then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.

“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.

with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.

“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.

the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.

as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.

but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”

“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.

he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”

“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”

he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.

he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”

you nodded in understanding.

“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“okay, i will.”

your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.

slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.

he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”

you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.

soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.

“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”

“top drawer,” you breathed out.

soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.

“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.

you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”

the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.

“f-fuck, you feel so good.”

he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.

“soobin?” you moaned out.

“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”

“i love you.”

he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.

every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.

he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.

his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.

soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face.

you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss

but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.

“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”

“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.

“what? she’s a guest.”

“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”

“i can’t leave her alone.”

“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.

“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.

“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”

“i’m not spending the night with her.”

“what’s so special about her?”

“what?”

“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”

“we spend time together.”

“yeah, with her always there.”

the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.

“she’s my friend and i care about her.”

“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.

“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”

“well what about me?”

“y/n, come on.”

“i told you i loved you.”

“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.

you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”

“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.

“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”

soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.

the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind.

putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.

you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.

the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.

you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?

his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.

other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.

“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.

“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.

"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.

"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."

returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.

“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.

“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”

and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.

between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.

spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.

as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.

"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.

your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.

"i wanted to talk to you."

"how did you find my address?"

"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."

you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.

“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.

he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”

you met his gaze without a word.

“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.

“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.

“i miss you.”

“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.

“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”

“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.

“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.

“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.

“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”

“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”

“i care about you. you know that.”

“do i?”

“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”

“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”

“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.

“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”

“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.

“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”

friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.

“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”

he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.

silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”

he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”

“i know.”

with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.

in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.

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feelbokkie · 8 months

Text

When reader is touch starved

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: vomiting inducing fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: different scenarios that happen when reader is touch starved

pairing: bf!skz x reader (Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin); bff!Minho x reader; bff!Jisung x reader

warnings: swearing (what's new)

word count: 2,274 words in total

방 찬 (Bang Chan) (414 words)

You checked the time on your phone again, seeing that not even a minute had passed. You sigh, looking up at the arrivals. Chan's home, the green "arrived" sign next to his flight number lets you know that. He's been on tour for several months and this is the longest stretch you've gone without seeing him. Without breathing him in. Without holding him. Without him.

You stand in the crowd of other people waiting for their loved ones to exit the terminal. Chan managed to get on a flight back earlier without the fans finding out. As much as he loves the boys and his fans, he just wanted to come home to you as soon as possible. To avoid the fuss that he knows will come when the rest of the boys come home tomorrow. How the company will deal with the drama that will ensue when he isn't at the airport with the others later isn't his problem. His priority is you.

You stand up straight as a crowd of people pour out of one of the terminals. Your eyes scan the crowd trying to find Chan. You know he's probably going to be wearing a hat and mask to protect his identity, both black no doubt. Unfortunately for you, a few people are wearing black hats and masks, making your job a bit more difficult.

Your eyes lock on familiar ones, who have yet to discover yours. It's almost like a movie. You're almost positive you're hallucinating it, too many sleepless nights in anticipation for today. It's almost like a single spotlight fell from the ceiling and lit him up, you couldn't see anyone other than him. Before you even realize it, you're making a mad dash toward him, dodging everyone in the process. You've never been so coordinated in your life. You take Chan by surprise as you tackle him, causing him to freeze in fear at the sudden contact. You're not stronger than him, but the tackle and the fact that he wasn't paying attention caused him to lose his balance, sending you both tumbling to the ground.

"Holy, shit, that scared me," He breathes.

"You're home," You mumble into his chest, squeezing him tighter.

"I missed you too, but if you squeeze me any tighter, you're going to break my ribs." He laughs, hugging you back equally as tight while the two of you lay on the floor of the airport, passersby staring at the two of you.

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho) (416 words)

To be fair, this is entirely your fault. You convinced your best friend, Minho, to go out with you to a local fair, promising that it wouldn't be too crowded because of the time of day it was. What you hadn't accounted for was the fact that today is a holiday. A minor one that allowed people to not be at school or work.

It was so crowded, that the two of you could hardly move, let alone avoid getting separated. You know that Minho rather stay home or be in places where there aren't a lot of people. But you two hadn't seen each other in a while and thought this would be a cute hang-out.

"Shit," You mutter under your breath. You and Minho got separated again, and a crowd of people pushed their way through the two of you. You're turned around and have no idea which.

"Minho!" You shout as you try to pull your phone out of your pocket. Surely he'd notice that you weren't behind him anymore.

You freeze when you feel a hand wrap around your arm, pulling you towards them. You turn to face Minho, who has an annoyed concerned look on his face. He pulls the two of you to the side where it isn't too crowded.

"Are you okay?" He asks, quickly checking you over while still holding your arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You breathe, relieved that he was able to find you quickly.

"C'mon, you said you wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, right?" He asks, sliding his hand down your arm to your hand, intertwining your fingers together. Your breath gets caught in your throat and your brain stops functioning at the simple actions.

"Huh?" You question, not fully being able to process what just happened.

"The Ferris wheel. You still want to ride it, right?" He quirks an eyebrow at your reaction.

"Huh? Ferris...wheel? Oh, y-y-yeah, I want to go on the Ferris wheel." You stammer, trying to get your brain to function again.

"Did I break your brain because I'm holding your hand?" He smirks, amused by your reaction.

"N-no! It's just hot and crowded!" You can feel your face going red from embarrassment.

"I might have to rethink kissing you later. It might kill you." He grins, having fun as you squirm.

"W-what? Kiss?" You stammer again.

"Nothing," He laughs and pulls you back to the crowd, "Let's go to the Ferris wheel before the line gets too long."

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin) (154 words)

"Ah, what's this?" Changbin asks as you suddenly walk into your shared room and climb on top of him.

You just lay your head on his chest and close your eyes. You had a rough day at work, you're not even sure why everyone was being rude to you. It drained you mentally and physically. All you wanted to do was be with Changbin.

You don't answer him, you just nestle deeper into his chest. He shuts off his phone and drops it next to him, gently rubbing your back, waiting to see if you are going to answer. He quickly assesses the situation, realizing that something must have happened and you just need to hug him right now.

“We don’t have to talk about yet it if you don’t want to. We can just lay here like this, just relax in my arms.” Changbin whispers into your ear as he squeezes you tighter.

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin) (175 words)

"Are...are you dying?" You ask, freezing as Hyunjin suddenly comes behind you and wraps you in a hug.

"Hm, not that I know of," He hums, nestling his face in the crook of your neck.

"Then why..." Your voice trails off.

It's not that Hyunjin is never affectionate with you. He is, just minimally. You love skinship--hell, you'd probably live in Hyunjin's skin if he let you. But you also know that he's not big on physical touch unless he's the one initiating it. Even then, he's been more affectionate towards you lately.

Knowing that he doesn't necessarily love physical contact, you've limited how much and often you touch him. The amount of times you had to physically retrain yourself the past few days alone was a bit much, but you don't want to come off as clingy and scare Hyunjin away.

"You love skinship, right?" He mumbles against your neck.

"Yeah, I do, but you don't so--"

"If it's you, it's alright. I'm not forcing myself or anything so don't worry, okay?"

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung) (225 words)

“Y/n, over here!" Jisung whispers. The two of you were playing hide and seek with the rest of the boys and you couldn't find somewhere to hide.

You crawl into the ridiculous hiding space that Jisung found, which was fine for him alone but it incredibly small for two adults. You were impossibly close, you're sure he could hear your heart beating. You have a crush on Jisung, you have for a while. Being alone with him is a dream, you just wish you weren't a nervous laugher.

"Y/n, please shut up," He whispers, worried that Chan will find you guys quickly.

"I...I can't help it. You know I g-giggle when I'm nervous. Do you remember the h-haunted house?"

"Oh, Y/n is around here?" You hear Chan call from the outside.

You can't help but giggle more, and slightly louder. Jisung quickly covers your mouth with his hand and pushes your back against the wall, effectively shutting you up. Your eyes widen and you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Please, please, please shut the fuck up. I can't lose, I don't want to pay for dinner again." He whines softly, you can imagine the puppy dog eyes he is almost definitely giving you right now. If he couldn't hear your heart beating earlier, he can probably feel it now.

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok) (425 words)

You lay supine, staring at the ceiling. You've been tossing and turning for the past couple of hours trying to sleep. You are exhausted, both mentally and physically, but sleep refuses to come to you.

It's a problem with how dependent on Felix you are, you know that. Since you two moved in together, you've gotten accustomed to falling asleep in his arms or him falling asleep in yours. You didn't realize how bad it was until he went on tour and you couldn't sleep the entire first week. You were more prepared this time, you bought sleeping pills and made sure to take one a little while before you needed to go to bed. Unfortunately, you ran out of pills the night before and forgot to buy a new bottle before heading home.

You grab your phone and check the time. It's 2 a.m. but you know it's midday in the city where Felix is currently. You try to think back to see if he mentioned about having a busy schedule today. You dial his number, remembering the boys have the day off. The dial of the phone rings in your ear as you turn and stare at Felix's empty side of the bed.

"Y/n!" Felix shouts excitedly into the phone. You can hear some of the other kids in the background.

“Hey, Lix,” you can’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. You talked to him yesterday but it feels like forever.

“What are you doing up? Is it like almost 3 a.m. back home?” He asks, a bit of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.” You leave it at that. If you told him you missed him or that you couldn’t sleep without him, he’d feel guilty for leaving you home while he was on tour.

“Hm, you tried the usual tricks?” He asks softly.

“Yeah. They’re not helping. Ran out of sleeping pills and it's way too late to get more.” You explain.

“Do you want to just talk until you fall asleep?” He suggests.

“That’d be nice. We don’t get to talk much lately too.”

“What do you want to talk about? Ask me anything,” You put your phone on speaker and put it on Felix’s pillow.

“How was your day?” You yawn. Felix’s deep voice already soothing your mind.

“You can ask me about anything and you want to know about my day?” He chuckles.

“Yeah. Tell me what you did.”

“Anything for you. It was really cold when I woke up so…”

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min) (236 words)

You shut the bedroom light before climbing into bed, knowing full well that Seungmin needed the light to see. Part of you feels bad about it, the other part hopes he trips.

You two got into a heated argument a few hours ago and were currently not speaking to each other. Since the two of you are stubborn, neither of you were going to sacrifice sleep by not sleeping in your bed.

You hear Seungmin stumble into the room, huffing in annoyance when he sees that you turned off the lights while he was in the bathroom. A few seconds later, you feel the bed dip down as Seungmin climbs in. Not long after, you feel Seungmin's arm snack across your waist.

"What are you doing?" You question, confused.

"Shut up and go to sleep." He mumbles, pulling you closer, your back pressing into his chest.

"But why are you--"

"You and I both know you'll have trouble sleeping if I don't do this, so shut up. I'm protecting my peace, I don't need to hear you complain about how you couldn't sleep." He mumbles angrily against the back of your neck.

You're glad the lights are off and he can't see your face, or else Seungmin would see the head rushing to your face right now. How can you stay mad at him when he's still looking out for you despite how mad he is.

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In) (229 word)

"Are you not feeling well?" In asks, a look of concern suddenly taking over his face.

"I-I'm fine," You stammer, flustered by In's hand taking yours under the table.

"You just turned three different shades of red in the last 5 minutes."

You are at lunch with In and the rest of the kids. Your schedules have been hectic for the past few weeks so you hardly had time to see any of the boys, let alone your boyfriend. In isn't big on public displays of affection or skinship, which you're fine with. You never want to push him. But when Jeongin's hand snaked under the table and grabbed your hand, you couldn't help but blush at the innocent interaction.

"I'm just hot," You take your free hand and fan yourself, trying to quickly return to your normal skin color.

"It's the dead of winter, what are you talking about?" He frowns, releasing your hand. He quickly cups your face and presses his lips to your forehead. You know he's just checking to see if you have a fever. He's done it enough times over the course of your relationship that he's just checking on you.

"Hm," He pulls away, still concerned, "you don't have a fever, but you got even redder. Should we go home?"

"Oh look, Y/n is all red because In kissed--"

"Shut up, Hyunjin!"

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lunarfleur · 8 months

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mickey baby can i pls have tooth rotting fluff/comfort

i feel like shit and start school tomorrow and i might cry and i'm on my period and ugh i'm nervous for school

Come Here, Mama ~ Earth 42! Miles Morales

Summary:Miles pulled you closer into him and it was like being wrapped in a blanket of love. His right hand snaked under your shirt, drawing imaginary shapes across your back. His other hand rested on your hip, his grip gentle. Slowly, silently he traced the words “I love you” across your skin. It branded you, in a way. He was yours.

Warnings:Anxiety if you squint hard enough and trouble sleeping. That’s it me thinks

A/N: I’m here for you baby :( everything will be okay <3. I basically wrote this to fit your scenario and js added in a lil sum extra to make it go smooth.

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @hiyaitssans @nagi3seastorm @luvjunie @milesmolasses @n1cole-ghost @conitagray @kombuuuu

This is x fem reader!

If Miles had asked, you would have just told him you weren’t feeling well. That was part of the truth. It was late and your body was tired.

Your mind, however, was wide awake. You had sent your boyfriend a text, eyes squinting at the bright screen while you typed.

Are you awake?

And you waited impatiently, staring at the ceiling for the longest minute of your life.

Yeah wassup mama

I can’t sleep

Omw

Your favorite thing about him was his patience for you. Too many nights he’s come over in the middle of the night, consoling you or calming you or just plain loving you. You’ve woken him up too many times, yet he never complains.

He was at your window 10 minutes later.

He stepped in once you unlocked it, slipping off his slides and tossing his jacket onto your desk chair. You pouted at him unintentionally. While you didn’t want to be dramatic, you were miserable. He knew it, too. All you wanted was to sleep, to be ready for the schools days to come.

Miles looked at you once, then let out a gentle laugh.

He looked good like this. His eyes were half lidded with sleep, his durag sitting over his braids. He wore an old t-shirt and old pajama pants.

“Come here, mama,” he said groggily. His hands found yours, and he led you over to your bed. Miles laid you down, pulling your blankets over your body.

“Did I wake you up?” You whispered.

“Yeah, but it’s all good.” You leaned into his touch, cuddling into his warmth.

“Sorry.” You felt bad, you really did. It always seemed like he was doing things for you, never the other way around. He was a giver, sure, but god damn would it hurt to just give him a break?

“Hey, I said it was fine, baby. Stop worrying.”

“But-”

“Don’t start, ma. It’s good. I’d rather you wake me up than be here alone an’ miserable by yourself.”

“M’kay,” you mumbled. It was the truth, you knew that. Miles never lied to you. Ever.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Now just close ya eyes.”

Miles pulled you closer into him and it was like being wrapped in a blanket of love. His right hand snaked under your shirt, drawing imaginary shapes across your back. His other hand rested on your hip, his grip gentle. Slowly, silently he traced the words “I love you” across your skin. It branded you, in a way. He was yours.

Miles kissed your head, mumbling soft and sweet nothings to you while you faded in and out of the world of dreams. They were everything to you, the best things to fall asleep to. When it was late, when your minds were half asleep he always said the sweetest things. Things like, “I’m yours,” and, “I’ve always thought you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” They kept you grounded. He kept you grounded.

“I love you so much, mama,” you heard him whisper. “You make me so happy, baby.”

#earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales x you #earth 42 miles x you #earth 42 miles morales x female reader #earth 42 miles fluff #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales #miles morales x reader #atsv #across the spider verse #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman #x fem!reader

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bradshawssugarbaby · 5 months

Text

Home For Christmas - Jake Seresin x OC

A/N: This is my entry for @bellaireland1981's Winter RomCom Writing Challenge, with the trope childhood friends. I was watching a lot of romcoms last night and felt inspired, it's definitely heavily influenced by 13 Going on 30, Just Friends + Sweet Home Alabama. (I realize only one of those is set in the winter, but I digress). I'm debating a part two/epilogue as well, if anyone is interested! Also super proud of this one, because it's the longest fic I've ever written.

pairing: Jake Seresin x OC

warnings/content: none, lots of fluff and pining. Jake's been promoted to Captain. Probably a lot of inaccuracies.

word count: 7.7k (literally my longest one yet, I'm sorry)

tagging anyone who might be interested: @littleenglishfangirl, @floydsmuse, @sailor-aviator, @mamachasesmayhem 🤍

December, 1999

“Jake! Jake, wait up!”

“Run faster then, I gotta get home before the street lights come on or my mama’s gonna be so mad she won’t let you come over tomorrow!”

“Jake, your mama’s not gonna say no to me comin’ over and you know it.”

“Jenna, how you ever gonna keep up with me when I join the navy and start having to run a few miles every day?”

Jake turned around to face you for a moment, running backwards with a grin plastered on his face, his baby-faced cheeks red from the cold, his green eyes full of mischief as he watched you try and keep up with him. His sandy blonde hair stuck out slightly from underneath his Dallas Cowboys baseball cap, a handmedown from his older brother that he rarely left home without since Matt had given it to him. He stopped running, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, the cold air stinging his throat as he panted. You finally managed to close the distance between the two of you, raising an eyebrow as you panted, your own cheeks ruddy from the combination of cold winter air and physical activity.

You and Jake had been best friends as long as you could remember. In eleven years, you couldn’t name a single time where the two of you had as much as had a disagreement, or went more than a few hours without talking to one another. Your mothers had been best friends in high school, and you two were destined to be best friends since birth - born four days apart in the same hospital, living on the same street and having your first play date at 10 and 7 days old. Jake was four days older than you, and he never let you forget it when it came to matters where age or maturity played a role. However, where Jake had four days more experience in the world, you had multitudes more experience in dealing with hardship than any eleven-year-old child should have.

Where Jake had the picture-perfect family - a mom, a dad, an older sister, an older brother and him, all living in perfect harmonious happiness, never as much as a doubt as to whether or not there was love in his household, you had the opposite. An absent father, an only child, and a mother who worked two jobs to try and make life better for the two of you, you spent almost every waking minute with Jake and his family, not only as an escape to experience the happy, blissfully carefree life he lived, but also, as a favour to your mother, with Mrs. Seresin often volunteering to care for you when your mother had to work late or work on weekends.

You were at the Seresin home almost every night, with Jake’s mother fussing over her best friend’s daughter, helping her lifelong friend however she could in guiding her little girl, you acting as the surrogate daughter that part of her had always wanted. Jake’s father trying to fill in the blanks where your father had lacked - offering to coach sports teams and including you in games of catch with Jake and his brother, taking you and the boys to get new baseball gloves or soccer cleats when needed, taking the three of you for ice cream after a big achievement in life. Jake’s 16 year old sister, Bethany, would take time to do your hair in the mornings before school whenever she had a chance, offering to do it in all the fun styles she and her friends wore, the kind you were often envious of, passing you old tubes of lip gloss she had lingering around in her backpack on your way to school, encouraging you to use them to your hearts content. Even Matt, who at 14, thought his brother and his brother’s friends were the most irritating beings in existence, had offered you old sports jerseys of his that no longer fit, teasing you the same way he’d tease Jake, treating you like the little sister he never had.

Until this past summer, you found yourself wishing most days that Jake’s family would just adopt you, let your mother move in with them and the two of you could just officially be a part of their fun, bustling family that served as your cheerful escape from life. However, when elementary school ended in June with middle school looming around the corner, Bethany had pulled you aside to talk to you about the transition between schools.

“You know, middle school is…different. It’s not bad. It’s just…things change sometimes. You and Jake might start going on dates with people from school, and it might change your relationship. It happens,” She’d said matter of factly, not mincing words as she shrugged her shoulders, fixing her frosted eyeshadow in the mirror before turning to face you again.

“You might even develop feelings for each other.”

At the time, her words didn’t hold meaning for you. You and Jake had been best friends since Jake was four days old. Your moms were best friends. You practically lived in their home. There was no way things could change between you. You could never have a crush on Jake. He was Jake, the boy who would hide under his mama’s kitchen table with you and a flashlight, swapping baseball cards with one another, the boy who, when you were six-years-old, you’d witnessed eat an entire package of Oreos, then laughed at as he proceeded to throw up an hour later from the sheer volume of chocolate-vanilla sandwich cookies he’d consumed that day. Jake could never be someone you’d have a crush on. He was your best friend. That would never change.

It was two weeks later when Jake had been on the baseball diamond, pitching an inning of Little League with you in the stands watching on. His baseball cap had been flipped backwards to mimic one of his favourite major league players, his green eyes narrowing in concentration with every pitch he threw out. His golden blonde hair poked out the front of his baseball cap, much like it was doing today, on this cold January evening. His focus was on nothing but baseball, while yours was on everything but when it came to him. When he happened to look your way during the game, you felt a weird feeling in your stomach - a bubbling sensation, like nerves that couldn’t be settled. Your cheeks flushed, turning a pale pink as they became warm to the touch, reddening slightly as you felt Bethany’s gaze fall on you, a grin forming on her face as you proved her right about how your feelings were evolving for Jake.

Since that day, you’d found yourself continuing to crush on him, each day your feelings grew deeper and more intense than the day before. At this point, you almost swore you could see yourself marrying him one day. You had to admit, you knew everything there was to know about him, you always had fun with him, and he was always happy to see you - you were convinced you two could be as happy and as in love as his parents were someday when you and Jake got older. You’d never tell Jake, you just hoped and prayed that he’d realize one day that he felt the same way about you as you felt about him. You knew there was always the chance that it might not happen, but you didn’t want to think about that. In fact, as far as you were concerned, you hoped that there was never a day where Jake didn’t love you as wholeheartedly as your little eleven year old self loved him.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

Present Day

“Jake, please, come back. I miss you,”

“I miss you too, Jenna, I’m coming home to you. It’s always been you.”

The ear-piercing screech of your phone’s alarm blared from your nightstand, interrupting your dream as it screamed at you. You rolled over in bed, groaning as you clumsily stuck your hand out, feeling around on the wooden side table for your phone to silence it and allow yourself a few more moments of peace and quiet before you had to start your day. The last think you wanted right now was to let this dream slip away on you - it was the closest you’d ever find yourself to Jake professing his love for you after all these years, and you clung to it whenever it cropped up in your mind as you slept.

Jake had always been the one-who-got-away for you. You spent your entire middle school years trying to hide your feelings for him, refusing to break until he said how he felt first. You were 13 when he got his first girlfriend, Tiffany Donaldson, a girl in your class. Tiffany was pretty and popular, something that you couldn’t claim for yourself in either case - growing up with Jake, you were seen as more of a teammate or a sister-figure than anything else, despite his sister’s best efforts to help you shake that connection somewhat. After Tiffany, you two had begun high school, and Jake made the football team, and the baseball team. As the school’s star runningback and starting pitcher for the varsity team, Jake was popular beyond words. No one could hold a candle to him, and as his popularity soared because of his athletic prowess in school, you faded further and further back into obscurity, the limelight falling from you and onto someone new each time Jake began dating another girl. Eventually, by the time graduation rolled around, you and Jake had all but fallen out of touch with each other outside of family get-togethers shared between your mothers.

You had just worked up the courage to tell him your feelings at the graduation party Jake’s parents had thrown for you both, convincing yourself that it was perfect timing - Jake had accepted an offer at the University of Texas at Austin, keeping close to home as he planned to study finance, his secret talent having always been math. You’d accepted an offer to study communications at the same school, and with both of you remaining local, it would be the perfect time to tell him how you felt and attempt a relationship with him, or so you thought.

Before the words could even leave your mouth, Jake was excitedly pulling you aside at the party, stopping outside of his childhood bedroom, the place where the two of you had often played as kids. His green eyes were full of excitement as he looked at you, causing your heart to race as butterflies fluttered in your stomach, making it hard to concentrate on his words. You almost didn’t hear him when he spoke, you were so transfixed on him. If the news had been anything else, you probably wouldn’t have even registered what he’d said the first time. You could still hear the excitement in his voice as he told you his news, and still feel the ache in the pit of your stomach as his words fell on your ears.

“I got accepted! I’m going to the Naval Academy, Jenna, can you believe it? I’m going to serve in the Navy, just like I always wanted. I’m going to be the best aviator they’ve ever seen. Just you watch.”

Jake’s voice was practically buzzing with excitement as he’d told you his news, and it took everything you had in you to not fall apart as he spoke. While you knew he’d always dreamed of being a naval aviator, as long as you could remember, the news hit you like a ton of bricks, unexpected and hard as it rendered you speechless, leaving you nodding your head and smiling like an idiot while inside you wanted nothing more than to scream out how you felt. You knew this could never work out between you now. Your chance was gone, moving away to Maryland and joining the Navy before you’d even had a second to realize what was happening when he spoke.

That was 17 years ago, and the moment still haunted you from time to time, more than you’d like to admit to anyone. At first, you’d kept in touch with Jake and his family, seeing Jake when he came home for holidays and such at first, but then, as you and Jake began entering your first romantic relationships as adults, you found yourselves including each other less and less in your lives. With each boyfriend you had, you realized more and more that you could never love them the way you loved Jake -he’d always be your first love, regardless of how he felt in return. When Jake graduated, he’d been stationed at NAS Lemoore, swapping Maryland for California. You’d still hear the odd update from your mother, who remained in touch with Jake’s parents, but otherwise, you didn’t ask much about Jake’s adult life. You knew he’d never married, that he’d become a Top Gun graduate, and held true to his word about becoming one of the greatest fighter pilots in the United States Navy, but other than that, you knew little about his life now. Last you had heard, last Christmas, he’d been stationed in San Diego.

You sat up in bed, yawning and stretching your body out before heaving a heavy sigh and shaking your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Jake. You were preparing for a trip back home to Texas for the holidays, spending three weeks back with your mother, part of you wishing and longing for Jake to be visiting his family at the same time, while the other part of you prayed he was staying in California or serving a tour so he wouldn’t be able to be there while you were. It had been close to 15 years since you’d seen him, and the last thing you needed was to be reminded of how you strongly you felt. You didn’t need the help from seeing him. The memories of him were more than enough to keep you clinging on.

Your phone rang and with bleary eyes, you picked it up, pressing the green button to answer the call.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” Your mother practically sang out in a voice that was far too cheerful for anyone to have at this hour.

“Hi mama, what’s up? My flight doesn’t land until this evening.”

“Well, I was talking to Mrs. Seresin about Jake, Matt and Bethany…” Your mother’s voice trailed off as she spoke, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat at the mention of Jake.

“Mhmm?” You responded as you stood up, balancing the phone to your ear with your shoulder as you folded a sweatshirt and set it down neatly on the bed, waiting to be packed.

“It turns out both of us are having our kids home for Christmas! Bethany’s coming down from Dallas with her husband and their little ones, and Matt’s coming from Oklahoma City with his fiancee, and Jake’s flying in on leave from California. He’s made his way up to Captain now, you know, Jenna. He’s made quite the career for himself.”

“Mama, I don’t need a sales pitch on why Jake Seresin is the perfect man for me, ok? He hasn’t seen me in years. He probably wouldn’t even recognize me if he saw me.”

“You never know. But I expect you to dress nicely for their Christmas party. You and I have been invited to join them, and I already said you would gladly be attending.”

“Of course you did. So Jake will be there, then?”

“I think his flight lands just before yours does today, actually. His mama and I were actually discussing if we should just carpool together to pick you both up like back when you two were in school together. Remember that? We used to take turns carting you kids back and forth from home to school.”

“I remember, mama. Don’t worry.”

“Anyway…we were talking and it turns out, Jake happens to be single.”

“Mama, why would I care that Jake’s single?” You replied, trying to sound as level-headed as possible.

“Please, Jenna. You really think I don’t know about this crush of yours you’ve been harbourin’ for years?” You could hear the laughter in your mother’s tone as she spoke, and it stung, almost as though your feelings had betrayed you.

“Mama! I haven’t had a crush on Jake in years. Not since he left for the Navy.”

“Of course not…just, do me a favour? Wear something nice for that Christmas party, ok?”

“Sure, Mama, whatever you say.”

You finished the conversation with your mother and let out an exasperated sigh as you tossed your phone onto your bed beside you. You had to be at the airport in three hours, leaving you little time to completely reconfigure your wardrobe for the next few weeks at home in Austin. Peering into your closet, scanning the items as they sat on wire hangers in the tiny space, you frowned, realizing that nothing was worthy of a reunion with Jake after all these years. At the back of the closet, you found a black, form-fitting sweater dress that you hadn’t worn in years, but, as you held it up to yourself in the mirror, you figured it could work. Part of you hoped this reunion could be the thing that’d remind Jake of what he was missing out on for the last 17 years.

As you finished packing your suitcase, you zipped it closed with a sigh, shaking your head as you tried to calm your nerves before getting yourself ready for your flight. There was a chance you could see Jake at the airport, and you knew you had to look your best, just in case.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

The flight from Chicago to Austin was the most painful three hours of your life. You tried to focus your attention on anything but Jake, but every movie saved on your phone, every book on your tablet, and every thought that crossed your mind was filled with him. You tried reminding yourself that he could be a totally different person from who he was when you were 18. That he could look completely different, act completely different - that he may not even know who you are anymore. The thought of Jake forgetting you was suffocating, closing in on you a little bit more every time it creeped into your mind. You took a deep breath as you departed the plane, your eyes scanning the crowd for your mother as you gripped your carry-on. Your face went white as a sheet as you saw her standing with Mrs. Serensin, both of whom waved frantically with excitement as they saw you.

“Jenna! It’s been so long, darlin’, how have you been? Your mama’s told me lots, but I feel like it’s no substitute for getting to see you in person!”

“Hi, Mrs. Serensin! I’ve been ok, how have you guys been? Haven’t seen you in about, 15 years? I think I saw y’all the one visit after Jake shipped out, but I haven’t been home much for the holidays, Mama’s usually up in Chicago visiting me.”

“We’ve been good, Bethany has two boys now, Easton and Dylan, and Matt’s met this girl, Alexis, she’s wonderful, a real sweetheart. He’s gettin’ married next summer. “

“Oh, that’s great news!” You replied cheerfully, fighting the instinct to bite your lip as she failed to mention where Jake was at in life.

“We better get going, Julie, Jake’s plane’s about to land,” Your mother said as she grabbed Mrs. Seresin’s arm excitedly, nodding her head.

“Oh, I thought Jake landed earlier?”

“He was meant to, but his flight got delayed, he’s landing in a few minutes now, I think.”

You nodded your head slowly, reluctantly following behind as your mom and Mrs. Serensin led the way to Jake’s terminal, biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes followed the signage as you walked past. You tried your best to focus on something, anything, but your nerves but so far, your nerves were winning. You were terrified. What if Jake hated you for not staying in touch? What if he forgot all about you? What if you were the last person he wanted to see? What he if came through those doors with a surprise girlfriend on his arm?

“Ma!” You heard a voice call out. You looked up to see a tall, handsome man with neatly combed blonde hair, piercing green eyes and sunkissed skin. His naval uniform was still perfectly pressed without a crease on it somehow after his flight, and he looked perfect. You knew in an instant that it was him.

“Ms. T?” He chuckled as he shook his head, pulling back from his mother’s embrace as he gave your mother a heartfelt hug, before pausing as he looked at you, a warm smile on his lips as he nodded his head, his blonde eyebrow cocked upwards in surprise.

“Jenna?”

“The one and only,” You shrugged with a smile as you tried your best to play it cool, forgetting for a moment that at 35 years old, you shouldn’t be getting tongue-tied and start giggling like a schoolgirl over a crush. The mere fact that you still had a crush on Jake was enough to make you feel like a fool.

“It’s nice to see ya, Jenna,” Jake nodded as he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you into his embrace. You breathed in the scent of his cologne, notes of whiskey and cedarwood encircling you as his grip remained tight, yet comfortable around you, as if he was hugging his long lost friend, which, he was in a sense.

“Nice to see you too, Jake,” You nodded once as he pulled away, a soft smile on your lips as you looked at him, trying to commit this moment to memory before it drifted away on you.

You swore out of the corner of your eye, you saw your mothers exchange a look with one another, a secret signal to one another, as if a master plan of theirs was underway, and everything was beginning to come together before their eyes.

As the four of you headed out to the car together, you caught yourself repeatedly stealing glances at Jake. He hadn’t changed hardly at all since you saw him last, apart from gaining some muscle, and his cheekbones and jawline becoming a bit more defined as he’d aged. He looked incredible for 35, if you didn’t know him, you likely would have guessed he was barely 30, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself fall deeper with each stolen look at him.

“So, you’re Captain Seresin now then?” You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him, hoping to break the silence brewing between the two of you.

“Yeah, this past April! I didn’t expect to get it, to be honest.”

Jake’s cheeks reddened as he smiled at you, trying to appear modest as he spoke of his accomplishments in the Navy since you’d last seen him. He had always used to have an ego so big that it’d rival some of the aircraft around in size, especially as a teenager - he was good and he knew he was good when it came to sports. It was part of what drove the two of you apart, but around you? He was modest like he always had been before, acting embarrassed by the achievements he’d otherwise never shut up about. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Jake was nervous around you. Jake Seresin, the only service member on active duty with multiple confirmed kills, the US Naval Air Force Captain who’s served for the last 17 years without as much as a scratch on him, the man who graduated top of his class from the Top Gun program, where only the best of the best are selected to participate. Jake Seresin had no need to be nervous about impressing you. He could have impressed you by simply looking your way - but for some reason, he was nervous around you, reduced to a blushing, modest mess.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

“Jake’s such a lovely boy,” Your mother said as she sipped her morning coffee, eyes fixated on the news program on her television set.

“He’s 35, mama, he’s hardly a boy now.”

“Fine, Jake’s a lovely man, he’s still just as sweet as I remember him being when he was young. He comes back to visit whenever he gets a leave and stays for a few days, and he always stops by to say hello - he even asks about you sometimes.”

“He asks about me?”

“He sure does, he asked Julie about you the other day, in fact. He was asking if you’d be home this time at Christmas. Seems you two always come back to visit on opposite schedules and never run into each other. He was saying he’d like to see you again, Jenna.”

Your mother’s words hung in the air for a moment. You took a sip from your coffee mug and furrowed your brow as you thought it over. You dismissed your mother’s words as nothing more than an attempt to set you and Jake up on a date, one that you figured Jake wasn’t going to be a willing participant of.

“Oh Mama, hush, he probably just said that to be polite because he figured I’d be coming home for the holidays anyway.”

“Jenna, why are you always so stubborn?” Your mother frowned, shaking her head as she let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m not stubborn, I’m just…practical. I’m the only one who seems to realize the fact that Jake and I haven’t seen each other in 17 years, Mama. We’re not the same people we were when we were 18. He could be a serial womanizer with a series of broken hearts left behind waiting for him in California for all I know. He could have 17 kids by different women, or be a serial killer, Mama. I literally know nothing about him anymore.”

“Jenna Elizabeth Taylor, you’re just being ridiculous now,” Your mother frowned as she shook her head, sighing, “I think Julie would have mentioned it if Jake was a father, and do you really think he’s the type to go around breaking hearts for fun? Besides, how could he be a serial killer if he’s busy flying around on missions all the time?”

“You’re missing my point, Ma.”

“No, Jenna, I think you’re missing mine,” She sighed, setting her mug down on the table as she pursed her lips, “My point is, I know you’ve been holding out for him for years. He’s asked his mama about you, he’s been asking if you were coming home, he stops in to see me whenever he comes home - do you really think he’d do all that if he didn’t still feel something for you?”

“Mama, I’m not going to make a fool of myself and throw myself at him, contrary to what you think would work.”

You heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, and when you turned on your heel, you stood face to face with Jake, now sporting a fitted pair of acid-washed light denim jeans and a burnt orange Texas Longhorns football jersey and a brown corduroy bomber jacket shrugged on over top. His blonde hair peaked out from behind his beloved baseball cap, you’d swear it was the same one he’d been wearing since he was 15 if you didn’t know any better, this hat looked like it had been through hell and back.

He’d let himself in through the unlocked front door, almost certainly at your mother’s previous insistence or invitation. His cheeks were blushing again, his green eyes darting between the two of you, a blonde eyebrow cocked upwards as his gaze landed on you.

“Throw yourself at who?” He chuckled, flashing a set of perfect white teeth your way as gave you that same grin that he always did when you were kids. It was the kind of smile that always got him out of trouble, and sometimes, into trouble, depending on the situation.

“No one,” You said quickly, shooting your mother a warning glance as you shook your head, a few strands of light brown hair falling free from your half-assed ponytail that you’d thrown it up into the night before for bed. You realized that Jake was now standing in your mother’s living room while you were sporting an oversized old Texas Longhorns tee and a pair of sweatpants - not ideal attire for seeing a man you were attracted to in, regardless of your protests about your feelings to your mother.

“Right,” Jake nodded his head, but the tone in his voice told you he didn’t quite believe a word you were saying, “I know this isn’t a great time, but Ma wanted me to check and see if you and Ms. T were still able to make it tonight, she wanted me to ask in person, and she wanted me to see if you needed my help bringing anything over, she said you were bringing your famous taco dip, Ms. T? I can bring the dish over now for you if you’d like, Ma’s cleared out the fridge of anything that isn’t a necessity for the party so there’s tons of room.”

“Sure, Jake, honey, it’s in the fridge, Jenna can show you where, I just have to run upstairs and grab something to send to your mama’s with you,” Your mother said as she stood up, heading off up the stairs quicker than you could say a word, leaving you and Jake alone in an awkward stance, nothing but the sound of the morning news to fill the silent void between you, until Jake cleared his throat again before pointing his index finger towards the kitchen.

“In here? I’m sure I can find it if you need to go upstairs and get changed.”

“I’m fine, not like you haven’t seen me in pajamas before, Jake.”

“Well, in my defense, last time we were like, 12.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen a woman in an oversized tee and sweatpants before,” You shrugged nonchalantly, pretending to be completely unbothered by the fact you felt like you were dressed like an absolute slob right now.

“Alright, lead the way then,” Jake nodded as he followed behind you.

You felt his eyes make their way down your body, and you swore you could hear him muttering something under his breath as he sauntered into the kitchen after you. You couldn’t make out what he had said, but it sounded almost like a “Jesus Christ” before he coughed and averted his gaze as you turned to face him. You opened the fridge and grabbed the dish containing your mom’s taco dip before setting it on the counter for Jake to take home. You raised an eyebrow at Jake as you caught him staring in your direction, a look of bewilderment on his face.

“You good, Hangman?”

“Hmm?” Jake said as he shook his head, an awkward laugh escaping his lips as he raised an eyebrow at you, “How did you know my callsign?”

“Because it’s on the back of your jersey, genius.”

Jake raised an eyebrow as he looked down, as if he’d forgotten what shirt he was wearing today. He nodded his head and laughed as he ran a hand through the back of his hair, scratching the back of his neck as he looked back up at you.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just, uh, jet-lagged, I think.”

“Jet-lagged? Isn’t only two hours behind us in San Diego?”

“You can still feel jet-lag with a two hour difference, Jenna.”

“I’m not stupid, Jake, I know that, but you seem…distracted? Not tired.”

“I’m fine, honest,” He nodded as he shoved his hands into his front pockets, looking around the kitchen as you checked the fridge for the extra shredded cheese and green onions your mother had prepared the night before to top the dip she’d made.

“Suit yourself, Jake,” You laughed as you set everything out on the counter for him and nodded, “If you give me five minutes to get dressed, I’ll help you bring it over.”

“Five minutes? God, I remember you taking 30 minutes to get ready when we were kids.”

“I was 12, it was 2000, I needed more time to perfect my lip gloss routine. Now I just have to put something warmer and nicer on than a t-shirt and sweatpants.”

“Fair enough, I can wait here. Your mama said she’d back down in a minute with something for Ma anyways.”

“Right, I’ll be back down in five.”

You turned around and headed back up the stairs, sighing softly to yourself as you entered your childhood bedroom, opening your suitcase as you grabbed out a pair of jeans and a vintage crewneck sweatshirt. You tidied your hair up into a neat ponytail before heading back down the stairs to meet Jake, who was currently talking to your mother in the kitchen, his body leaning against the counter as he spoke. Jake looked up at you, straightening his posture as he saw you. He picked the taco dip up from the counter, along with the reusable shopping bag your mother had packed up of the extra ingredients. Sitting on the counter next to the food was a gift, perfectly wrapped with a gold bow and a tag written out in your mother’s sleek handwriting. Jake’s mother and yours had always exchanged gifts with one another, and it warmed your heart in a sense to see the tradition still carrying on for them.

“So, you enjoy living in Chicago?” Jake asked, watching you as the two of you headed back from your childhood home, Jake having insisted on walking you back so you could spend some time catching up, even if just for a few minutes. .

“Yeah, it’s a change of scenery. It’s different from Austin for sure. How’s San Diego treating you?”

“It’s pretty good, I like being on the beach. I do miss home sometimes though,” He laughed softly, giving his shoulders a gentle shrug as he looked around at the street you grew up on, just a couple of blocks away from his own childhood home.

“I mean, yeah, I miss my mom sometimes when I’m in Chicago, but, I know it’s easier for me to come home and see her than for you to come home and see your family.”

“Jenna? Can I ask you something?”

“Mhmm?”

“Do you…do you regret leaving for Chicago?”

“No, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now if I hadn’t left. I have a really good career in public relations, and I’m happy with where I’m at professionally. I wouldn’t have gotten that if I stayed in Austin, just like you wouldn’t have gotten as far in the Navy if you hadn’t gone to Annapolis.”

Jake stayed silent for a minute, his eyes looking everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You could sense tension between the two of you. The Jake you knew growing up was never awkward, and never stopped talking - had he really changed that much since he’d left? You couldn’t see the Navy taming him to the point where he became reserved, Jake had always been so outgoing, so full of self-pride that it often came off as cocksure arrogance, but most of the time, it was out of sheer disbelief that he’d made it that far. You looked to him, his hands firmly in his pockets as he let out a huff, his breath turning to vapor in the cool December air.

“I should really get going,” Jake nodded slowly, checking his watch as he looked back towards the street, “I promised Ma I’d help her set up.”

“Right, right, I’ll see you in a couple hours? Mama and I’ll be there.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then,” Jake nodded, a warm smile on his features as he turned to start heading back.

You let out a heavy sigh, mentally kicking yourself as you realized you’d just let another opportunity to tell Jake how you felt slip away from you. As you headed up to your bedroom to get ready, moving quickly to dodge any questions from your mother, who was probably desperate to hear how your alone time with Jake had gone.

You shut the door behind you, sighing again as you sat at your old vanity table, brushing through your hair and sectioning it with a claw clip as you began straightening it, trying your best to calm your nerves and make a decision on how you were going to approach Jake. You wanted to tell him, desperately, how you felt, but, part of you couldn’t help but cling to the fact you might regret it. That you might be disappointed and find out that Jake never felt the same about you, and that he never would. Or that he’d be in a relationship with someone else back in San Diego, someone prettier, younger, smarter, better.

On the other hand, did you really want to commit yourself to never telling him how you felt? Letting the door shut on the one man you’d loved the longest, the most, and the hardest in your lifetime? Could you really be happy with anyone else? What if something happened to Jake while he was serving and you never got the chance to share how you felt? What if, somehow, there was the off chance he felt the same way about you?

As you finished your makeup, taking a deep breath as you looked yourself over in the mirror, you nodded your head. You had to tell him. There was no way you could let him go back to San Diego without knowing. You couldn’t let this go unsaid any longer, if for no other reason than to give yourself closure. If he rejected you, you could move on - or at least, try to. You could finally let go of your feelings and meet someone, and try your hardest to love them with the same enthusiastic, all-consuming love you felt for Jake. If he felt the same way, you’d apply for a job transfer to Los Angeles as soon as possible, because a three-hour drive was much more manageable of a commute to see him than a flight from Chicago to San Diego.

This was it, you were going to finally do it. You just needed to get Jake alone.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

“Oh, Jenna! It’s been so long, how are you?”

Bethany’s voice was sweet as honey as she spoke, wrapping her arms around you in a warm embrace, as if she’d been missing you for years and the sight of you reminded her of just how much.

“I’m great thanks, Beth, how are you? Your mama said you have two boys now? Easton and Dylan?”

“Yeah, they’re 6 and 4, they’re little handfuls like their uncles, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’ve got Jake and Matt as influences for you. My husband’s not much better.”

Bethany laughed as she gestured towards Jake playing with Easton? Or was it Dylan? Jake’s unmistakeable toothy grin plastered on his face, his green eyes alight with joy as he lifted his young nephew up, tickling him, the young boy’s laughter filling the air as Jake continued to make him laugh. Jake looked up to see you with his sister, smiling as he set the boy down on the floor, ruffling his hair with his fingers before making his way over to you.

“Jenna! Hey, I’m glad you came.”

“Told you I would, didn’t I?” You laughed, shrugging your shoulders as effortlessly as possible as you tried to play it cool, praying no one saw through the front you were putting up.

“Hey, Jenna, can I…can I talk to you for a sec?” Jake asked sheepishly.

You couldn’t mistake the look on Bethany’s face, biting her lip to hold back a grin. You caught Jake giving her a stare that could make any person stop dead in their tracks, his green eyes practically piercing through his older sister as she tried not to laugh. As you nodded your head, raising your eyebrow at the scene unfolding before you. You followed behind Jake as he led you upstairs to his old childhood bedroom. When he opened the door, you were confronted with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Old pictures adorned the wall, some including you and Jake as children, with ice cream covered smiles and skinned knees, baseball uniforms and halloween costumes, missing teeth and messy curls.

“Ma hasn’t changed anything since I left home, I don’t even think she’s bought new bedding for this room.” He chuckled as he looked around the room, his large hands placed firmly on his hips as he stood in the doorway.

“Still sleeping with those baseball player sheets you had as a kid?” You teased, eyeing the comforter on the bed, neatly made and pulled together, a sign of Jake’s time in the navy.

“You know it, I’m still a big kid, really,” He laughed, nodding his head as he pointed to a picture on the wall before looking over at you, “Remember this one? Your 7th birthday party, I think I snuck an extra little bit of frosting off your birthday cake and my mama almost killed me. She told me I had the table manners of a barn animal.”

“You did, you used to chew with your mouth full too.”

“I grew out of it at least. I’m a little more civilized now.” Jake replied with a smirk, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to face you, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath before exhaling sharply. You could see Jake chewing at the inside of his cheek, nodding his head as his eyes met yours.

“I have to tell you something, ok?” He finally said, sighing heavily.

“I’m listening, Jake.”

“I should have told you this a long time ago, but…I love you.”

You sputtered for a moment, eyes wide in shock as he spoke. He frowned, clearly expecting a better reaction than what you’d given him. Jake shook his head and took your hand in his, stroking the back of your hand gently with his fingers, which were almost surprisingly soft and smooth to the touch.

“I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t care if you just wanna be friends after hearing this, because even though the truth is, I'm scared to be your friend, I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. The last 17 years have been spent missing you and wishing I’d said something before I left. That I’d kissed you or held you, or said something, anything to you.” He frowned, nodding his head as he looked to the ground before continuing to speak, his voice beginning to tremble with emotion.

“I was stupid to just go and leave things there, but I’ve been paying for it ever since. No other woman has ever compared to you.”

Without another word, you gripped the front of Jake’s football jersey, using it to give you leverage to pull him in closer, your lips crashing into his just as he looked up at you to see what you were doing. Any initial hesitation either of you felt melted away into the kiss, your lips moving together passionately, Jake’s hands trailing their way down your sides to rest on your hips, pulling your body in closer to his. When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he maintained a small distance between the two of you, speaking in a low whisper as he watched you bite your now puffy, kiss-bitten bottom lip.

“Is that your way of telling me you feel the same way? Because if you do, I want to take you on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day, or at night, or whenever, as long as it's a real date. And I wanna sit there and tell you how beautiful I think you are, Inside and out. How you’ve always been the most beautiful girl in the world to me, without a doubt. And I wanna have babies with you, and I wanna marry you, and I wanna tell you every day that I love you and I always have." Jake nodded, his cheeks blushing as he scratched the back of his neck again, waiting for your response to his rambling feelings.

“Jake, I’ve spent the last 17 years of my life waiting to hear you say that.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m so sorry I made you wait.”

“Promise me something, Jake?”

“Anything you want, pretty girl.”

“Promise me you won’t make me wait that long again? I’m not sure I can wait another 17 years for you to ask me to marry you.”

“Jenna, I swear to you, I’m not making you wait for anything ever again. I’d marry you tomorrow if I didn’t think my mama would have me committed for running off to get married three days after our reunion.”

“You’d marry me tomorrow?”

“With bells on, babe. With bells on. I’d marry you right here, right now, in my beat up Longhorns jersey, and drive off into the sunset with you in my truck if you wanted.”

“I don’t know about that, Captain Seresin,” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at him as you felt his hands caress your sides, “As tempting as that sounds, we do have 17 years of lost time to make up for.”

“And I intend to make up for every single second of that with you, Jenna. Here, Chicago, San Diego, I don’t care. I just want you. All of you, completely and totally.”

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oftenwantedafton · 3 months

Text

A New Afton - Stepfather Steve Raglan/William Afton x Stepdaughter Reader

Chapter 7

Rating - Explicit

Warnings - sexual content, daddy kink, praise kink, mild breeding kink, Springtrap suit sex

Also available on AO3

You awaken to find Steve watching you.

It’s Friday morning. You've almost made it to the weekend. Tomorrow you’ll be able to sleep in and spend the entire day with your stepfather.

“Good morning, Daddy.”

He smiles at you, soft and lazy. “Good morning, Princess.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“Just a few minutes.” He reaches out to brush back some errant strands of hair. Traces the curve of your cheek. Smoothes over your bottom lip. You suddenly remember you’d gone to bed without panties.

You push back the covers and climb on top of him, straddling his hips, your hands shoving the fabric of his shirt up. You trace the patterns of his scars and grind yourself down, feeling his clothed erection pressing against your bare pussy.

“You really want Daddy’s cock inside you, don’t you baby girl?”

You nod, biting your lip. “Yes, Daddy. I need you to fuck me.” You can feel the wetness of your arousal dampening the fabric of his pajama pants.

Steve groans, glancing at the alarm clock.

You know it’s time for both of you to get washed and dressed and leave the house. You don’t want to stop.

“Tonight, I promise you. When we have time and we don’t have to rush.”

You sigh, ceasing your rocking motion. You know you’re pouting. Your stepfather sits up, hugging you against him. “It’s your first time, baby girl. Need to make it special for you. It’s not because I don’t want to, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“That’s my good girl. Let’s go get ready.”

***

This is the longest shift of William Afton’s life.

He normally stands and shakes his clients’ hands, guiding them to their seats and walking them back to the door.

Not today. There’s no fucking way because his erection will not relax. He’s finally going to have you tonight. That tight pussy that’s never known another man’s cock, all for him. You’d been so sexy, grinding yourself against that stuffed rabbit the night before. Rubbing your bare pussy against him this morning.

A knock at the door. He tucks his chair further under the desk to conceal what’s happening further down his body and forces a smile on his face. “Come in.”

***

You’re waiting for Steve when he opens the front door.

Without hesitation he pushes you back against it while closing it. Bends to kiss your mouth. Your hands twine around his neck. You’re still in your school uniform. He drops his briefcase and car keys on the floor. “Hey, sweet girl.”

“Daddy…” He hears it in your voice. The raw ache. The hunger.

“Come upstairs with me. I want to fuck you in my bed.” Somewhere along the line it had become that. No longer one shared with your mother. Just his.

And now yours, too.

***

You follow your stepfather up the stairs. This was it. It was finally happening. Your heart is pounding. Your pussy has been throbbing all day, panties soaked. You want him so badly.

He pushes you onto the bed. One hand drags roughly against your school blouse and the threads securing the buttons loosen, the bits of plastic scattering. You’re already working on the one holding your skirt fastened on the side. Steve removes his glasses and tosses them on the nightstand, then unknots his tie and unfastens his cuffs and pulls everything over his head all at once, undershirt and dress shirt together. You unhook your bra and drop it on the floor. He unfastens his belt. Pants and briefs shoved down together simultaneously. His shoes are next to yours by the front door.

You start to remove your knee highs but he halts you. “Leave them on,” he says. His voice is so coarse. It’s the desire chafing it, you think. His own pair of socks he tugs off unceremoniously. His palm caresses your covered calf, making sure the edge of your sock is properly pulled into place. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, kissing one knee. You touch his hair. “Lie back, baby.”

You obey, flopping down somewhere near the center of the bed, shoving blindly at the pillows beneath you until they cradle your head properly. His fingers curl over the waistband of your panties and pull them off of you. You part your legs for him.

“It’s going to hurt in the beginning…” he cautions, resting a hand on one thigh.

“I know. I don’t care. I want you.”

“After that you’ll love it, baby, I promise.”

You nod, watching him as he moves, positioning himself at your entrance.

***

William could have prepped you a little first, of course; used his mouth and his fingers. But that’s not what he wants. He wants to violate you at your absolute tightest. He sees how wet you are, how your eyes plead with him, and he stops hesitating and pushes into you, immediately feeling you tense and clamp down, your body resisting his intrusion. You wince and suck in a deep breath.

“Relax, baby girl. It’ll be easier for you. It’s ok, I’ve got you.” He pushes a little further in. Christ did you feel like heaven. So snug around his fat cock. Another whimper of pain, but you’re being brave about it. A little further. Another gasp. He shoves the rest of the way in.

“Daddy!” Your back arches, lifting your torso off the mattress.

“Okay, baby. You did it. I’m all the way inside you.” He pauses there a moment, just taking in the sensation of being fully sheathed. Moves out a little, then thrusts back in.

“Oh, you feel so good.” He lowers himself down, shifting his weight onto one forearm, kissing your mouth. “So tight around me, baby. So perfect.” You’re still rigid. Your mouth is stiff against his lips. “Relax, sweet girl.” He moves his cock back and forth, never quite in and never all the way out, just trying to get you accustomed to the feel of him. Gentle thrusts. He caresses your cheek and smooths your hair. You’re getting wet again. Your hips are moving slightly, your mouth now responsive. “There you go, Princess. You’re such a good girl.” He moves a little faster, now withdrawing further and shoving back inside to the hilt. “Fuck, baby. Look at how good you’re taking me. That pussy was made for me.” His free hand finds your breast and begins massaging it, pinching and rolling your nipple. “You’re so, so gorgeous.” Your sounds have evolved. No longer pained. You’re starting to enjoy it. He feels you grinding back against him, lifting to meet him.

Time to change positions.

***

You thought you’d been prepared, but that first feeling of your stepdad’s cock entering you had really hurt.

The burn and stretch of it. You’d thought at one point you’d just break around him. There was no way he could fit.

But he had. And that sharp pain had started to become muted because there was a new feeling suppressing it.

It felt good fucking Steve.

He’d been right as usual. Once you’d stopped tensing up things had gotten a lot better. His cock slid in and out smoother. You like the feel of it pummeling you deep inside. He’s still holding back; you know it will get rougher later. You want it to be.

His body shifts, no longer hovering over you. He lifts your stockinged legs so they rest on his shoulders. He thrusts forward and oh, this is new. You like the angle he’s hitting you at inside. Like the sound of his body slapping against yours. It drives each moaning breath from your lungs. You see a trail of perspiration leak down from his forehead. You reach for his hand and he locks your fingers together, watching the reactions play across your features as the pleasure washes over you.

Another change in position. You’re seated on top, straddling him like you had that morning. You rub the head of his cock against your clit before guiding it inside of you. It’s a little awkward until you get yourself at just the right spot to sink down onto him. Oh, God. This was amazing.

He smiles at you. “Feels good, doesn’t it, baby girl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you gasp. He wedges his hand against you, his thumb stroking your clit and the sensation heightens. “Daddy…”

“Look at you riding that big cock so well.” You mash yourself against his hand, grinding down on his prick. You’re lightheaded. Your nails dig into his ribs. His hips batter against you, shoving him deeper inside.

***

William’s got you bent over in front of him now. He slaps your ass cheek and squeezes the globe of it. Pushes back into you. Your cunt is absolutely drooling. His hips snap sharply and you moan as his cock drills into you, making you lose your balance as he shoves you against the edge of the mattress.

He fucks you hard for a few minutes, then eases up. Enjoys every gasp and moan and murmur and sigh. Slaps you again, harder, bringing color to your skin. He could easily finish this way but it’s not how he wants to. Not this time. He wants to see your face when he takes you apart.

Afton pauses just long enough to indicate he wants you to move. Climbs back on top of you and slides right back in. His mouth covers yours. You’re both drenched in sweat. He tastes the salt of it on your lips. He snakes a hand between you to stroke your clit again. Sees you frown and gasp. “Cum for me, sweet girl.”

“Daddy…” The hand you rest on his shoulder tightens, nails digging in. Your eyes are locked with his. “I love you, Daddy.”

The words surprise him; his climax arriving earlier than he’d anticipated. He feels you spasming around him, milking every last drop of cum from him.

He takes his time in the shower with you afterwards. Gently cleaning your sore sex. Planting little kisses on your shoulder underneath the spray of the shower. He makes you pasta for dinner and you put another horror movie on. He cradles your body against his. You’re drowsy.

“Baby girl?”

“Mmm…yes Daddy?” Barely awake. Struggling so hard.

“I love you, too.”

You sigh happily. Afton closes his eyes.

***

Steve promises you an unrestricted day of shopping at the mall to begin your Saturday.

He helps you choose a new skirt and a slinky dress. Several sets of lingerie, one of which is lavender lace. You know purple is his favorite color so you’re not surprised. A necklace that’s a silver heart that rests on the notch at the base of your throat.

It’s pouring out today, one of those rare days when Hurricane finally gets some humidity built up into the atmosphere. Your stepfather pulls off the road. You’d gotten changed in one of the restrooms at the mall before you’d left. You’re down to just the new lingerie and the necklace now. The rain drums on the roof of the car.

“Back seat,” he says. You squeal when the downpour strikes your unprotected skin. You lie down. He climbs over you, grinning. A drop of rainwater falls from his hair onto your lips. He kisses you. Touches the pendant that’s shifted to lie against your throat and the smile softens.

His thumb hooks in the crotch of your new panties and he pulls them to the side. His cock eases in. His breath huffs beside your cheek. “You like it, sweet girl?”

“I love it,” you reply.

“Yeah, me too.” His pace is unhurried. Just gentle but deep thrusts. You feel the edge of the material dragging along his shaft with each thrust. “Going to fill you up so good…”

“I want it.” You knot your fingers in his damp hair. “Breed me, Daddy.”

His steady pace falters. You’ve surprised him. He’s only mentioned it the one time. “You want that?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“You want me to get that belly all swollen? Make a baby with you?”

“Mmm-hmm.” Your pussy throbs around him. Your womb very much likes the idea. You tighten your legs around his waist. “As many as you want. I’d give them to you,” you whisper by his ear, lapping at it. “I wish I was your wife. I want to be yours forever.”

His face moves so he can see your features, his hips still. “You really mean it, don’t you?”

You nod, touching his cheek, the graying beard smooth beneath your fingers. The rain is drumming louder now.

He says your name and thrusts back inside. You roll your hips against him. His mouth is rough against yours. “Oh God, baby, I want…I want…”

The words are lost in the noise of the storm. You come undone. He follows.

***

Later that night you return to Freddy’s.

Your stepfather leads you by the hand into a security office. There are stacks of monitors on the desk. You look a question at him.

“You’ve got to wait here for your surprise, okay?” He drags a large hardback chair from the corner of the room into the center. You sit. He loosens his tie and wraps it around your head, blindfolding you. You’d been wondering why he’d dressed up today. “No peaking,” he whispers beside your ear.

“Okay, Daddy.”

A few minutes go by. A few more. You squirm a little in your seat. You hear footsteps, but they’re not like Steve’s. These are heavy sounding. Metallic. You can hear mechanical joints whirring with each step.

“Daddy?”

“It’s okay, baby girl.” His voice sounds different. As if it’s being processed through something artificial. Modulated. You feel his hand on your cheek. That, at least, seems normal. Then it’s just as quickly replaced with a larger one. Cold. Steel or something like it. “Stand up for me, Princess.”

You rise to your feet uncertainly.

“Turn around. Hold onto the chair here. Now bend over. That’s it. Lift up your skirt, sweet girl.”

You obey with trembling hands. You feel the metal hand grab your panties and pull. They surrender instantly beneath the force he’s exerting, torn from your body. You can feel the air on your exposed pussy. The unencased hand caresses your cheek. A quick drag through your arousal. You whimper and squirm. You hear a foreign sound. A compartment opened? You’re still struggling to process what’s happening.

The metal hand rests on your lower spine. You shiver. Then you feel Steve’s cock plunge into your sex.

“Daddy…” It’s not just his erection pressing into you. He’s wearing something. Something soft draped over something unyielding. It’s fur touching your skin. Artificial fur, like the plush bunny you’d masturbated with the other night. He was wearing one of the animatronic suits.

“—Wait, Daddy, no. The springlocks—”

“It’s okay baby. I know what I’m doing…mmm….ah. You feel so good. You’re so wet for your Daddy…” He begins pumping into you hard and fast. He likes wearing the suit, you realize. It’s erotic for him. “You like it, baby?”

“Yes, Daddy.” You’re not entirely sure how you feel about it. It is kind of hot, but you’re worried about his safety. It seems like an awful lot of risky movement. You don’t really understand how the springlocks work, but you think they weren’t meant for this level of activity.

“Baby,” he says.

“I’m worried,” you admit.

He sighs, the noise strange in whatever headpiece he’s wearing. “Alright. Let’s try this then. Straighten up. Take a step over here. That’s it. Step out of your shoes. I’m going to sit down. I want you to climb into my lap. But facing away from me. Okay?”

“Can I take the blindfold off?”

“Yes, I suppose you can.”

You pull the tie off.

There’s a seven foot tall yellow rabbit standing in front of you.

The costume has seen better days. There are rents in the fabric and deep gouges in the metal in places. Part of one ear is missing. The teeth that are meant to be parted in a perpetual smile seem more like a rictus grin. The eyes are bright white lights. You know exactly why he’d wanted you blindfolded. It was more than a little intimidating.

You watch as he presses something on the side of the headpiece and lifts it free, setting it on the desk nearby. His hair is damp. It must be hot inside the suit. He sits in the chair with more grace than you would have thought possible give how cumbersome the robotic suit looked.

“Come give me a kiss, baby girl.” You much prefer this voice. His own face. You bend and kiss his mouth. “Ride my cock.”

You’re not sure about it. It takes some maneuvering. Trying to balance yourself, especially facing away from him. You bare feet dig into the furry thighs. The metal hand braces you against the torso of the suit. The plastic buttons meant to simulate formal attire press into you. Steve’s hand assists you in aiming his cock into your pussy. You’re nearly there. You lower yourself slightly. One foot slips and his cock is buried in you.

“Fuck, baby girl,” your stepfather hisses at the feeling of being fully inside you again. You push yourself up, then back down again. The artificial hand holding you helps you maintain your balance, aids in your movement. You’re starting to get into a rhythm.

You’re starting to enjoy it.

The places where the fur touches your bare skin. The places where the metal presses warmly against you. It is like fucking a giant stuffed animal after all.

“Daddy…it feels good…”

“I knew you’d like it, Princess. I know what my little girl needs.”

You continue to impale yourself on his cock. The metal hand across your chest moves to your breasts, sliding inside your shirt to touch them. You wonder wildly in a lust filled moment if he could fuck you with those metal digits or if it would ruin the suit.

His encased hips snap upward. It’s starting to be a lot of movement again. You should be more cautious. But it feels too good now. You’re keening and mewling when you shove yourself onto him. “I’m gonna cum, Daddy, I’m…Daddy…” You make good on your promise. Steve grunts, hips stuttering and you feel him spill inside you.

***

You’re seated in the car outside of the closed restaurant. There’s a foreign taste to your stepdad’s throat. From the mascot suit, you think. Metallic. Musty. Something old that’s been waiting for a long time to be rediscovered.

“You had a good time, baby?”

Your lips part from his neck and you nod, smiling. The smile wavers when you think about how tomorrow is the last night of the weekend. You’ll have to get up early for school. You’ll have to be away from him the entire day. And in another week, your mother will return.

“What’s wrong?”

Your face is such an open book. “I’m just thinking about how fast this week went by. And before you know it another will pass. And then…”

“I’m not giving you up. You’re mine. That’s not going to change.” He reaches for one of your hands and squeezes it.

“But…but how will we…what are going to do?”

“I don’t know yet,” he replies. “I’ll figure something out.”

You don’t see how. He’s married to your mother. It’s really as simple as that. Your only other option is to try to sneak around. Risk getting caught. And then what?

“Princess. It’s not for you to worry about, okay? Like the springlocks. You need to trust me.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt, either.” He leans over to kiss you. First a chaste brush. Feather light. Then firmer. Your pussy tingles again. Forever hungry for him, never sated.

He exits the car and you follow. Lays you out on the hood. Licks you until you climax again. You wonder if he can smell the suit on you; taste it.

He kisses your mouth before you leave the parking lot and you have your answer.

***

Sunday morning. You’ve slept in. You stretch languidly. Arms, legs, toes curling and uncurling. Steve reaches for you beneath the covers. Starts tickling you and you squirm and weakly try to get away. You like being caught. He pins you beneath him and grins.

You think you hear the front door open and close. No, that’s impossible.

The smile on your lover’s face evaporates.

“Hey, where is everyone?”

Your mother’s voice calling up the stairs.

She’s home early.

***

William’s blood runs cold. Why was your mother back a week early? Robbing him of the extra time alone with you. He lays a finger against your lips. Sees your eyes widen. Panicked. “Go into the bathroom.”

You nod, sliding out of bed. You’ve got panties and one of Steve’s shirts on.

“And take that off!” He hisses. You fish around in the hamper looking for something that’s yours. He’d been planning on doing laundry today.

You just manage to make it into the adjoining bathroom when your mother enters the master bedroom. He evades most of a kiss by pleading morning breath.

“You slept in late. I’ve never seen you in bed at this hour.”

“Yeah, I was tired. What are you doing back so early?” He tries to make his voice light. Tries to make it not sound like an accusation.

“One of the other women had to leave early. The mood kind of shifted after that. Susan’s mother just got diagnosed with cancer with mets to the bone. Just didn’t feel right staying…”

Afton stops listening, murmuring noncommittal sounds of sympathy. He thinks he hears the faucet running.

“Where’s my daughter?”

“Uh, I think I hear her in the bathroom.”

“I wouldn’t mind a shower myself after breakfast. I didn’t bother with it this morning. You could join me…” Her hand strokes along her husband’s chest, trailing lower. His cock is still thinking about her daughter. “Steve! You did miss me, didn’t you?”

He sits up, moving his body away from her questing fingers. “We shouldn’t…she’s right there,” he says quietly, nodding towards the bathroom door.

His wife sighs. “Alright. Later then. I’m going to pop in to say hi and then I’ll make us all breakfast. Okay?”

“Sure, sounds great.”

His knuckles blanch around a fistful of sheets.

***

You can hear your mother and stepfather’s conversation. You press a hand to your mouth when you realize she’s touching him.

Your eyes fall to the tray on the counter where the wedding band still lies. You tuck it inside the medicine cabinet behind a bottle of cough syrup. You begin brushing your teeth. Scrub until your gums bleed. Rinse and spit out. Look at your reflection in the mirror.

“Honey, can I come in?”

“Um, I'm getting ready to jump in the shower. I’ll be out soon.”

“Just a quick hug? I miss you.” Your mother enters without waiting for a reply. “How’s my girl?”

“Yeah, good. Welcome home.” You hug her stiffly.

“Thanks, sweetheart. It’s good to be back. I’m going to get started on breakfast, okay?”

“Sounds good.” You try and fail at a smile.

She pauses by the door. “You shouldn’t walk around the house like that. What if Steve saw? We talked about this.”

“Sorry. Forgot.” The door closes and tears immediately begin spilling down your cheeks.

The adjoining door reopens and Steve closes it hurriedly behind him.

“Baby girl…” His thumb swipes at the tears.

“That’s it. It’s over. I can’t…” You’re trying to be quiet but you hiccup a sob.

“No, baby girl.”

You open the medicine cabinet and retrieve the wedding band. “You have to put this back on. I have to go hide the roses. I don’t know if there’s anything else left out that shouldn’t be seen…”

”Princess. Calm down. Look at me.”

You shake your head. You take his left hand in yours and begin sliding the ring back in place. Pause and lift tear stained lashes. “I do.”

A shuddering sigh. His palm cups your cheek. “I’m not letting you go.” He captures your lips. His hands grasp your waist and he sits you on the counter. Already moving your panties aside and pulling his cock free of his pajama pants.

“Daddy…”

He pushes into you. Clamps a hand over your mouth as he fucks into you rough and hard. You nod your understanding and he uncovers your mouth again. Your eyes keep going to the adjoining door, the one that doesn’t have a lock. Steve bites down on your shoulder. Sucks until the fragile vessels beneath the skin burst. Marking you.

You knot your fingers in his hair. “I love you,” you whisper.

He marks you inside, claiming what’s his.

#william afton x reader #william afton x you #steve raglan x reader #steve raglan x you #springtrap x you #springtrap x reader #dividers credit @saradika-graphics

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baurbiediv · 1 year

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it kills me

pairing → joe burrow x reader

warnings → swearing, accused cheating, joe being a bootyhole

synopsis → you’ve given up almost everything to love & be with joe, and when you have given him an ultimatum, one of you isn’t willing to give up the other one. but is this everything that you wanted?

authors note → surprise surprise! new series based off the lovely song by melanie fiona, it’s been stuck in my head nonstop for the past few days + since there’s no school/classes for me tomorrow i’ll do my absolute best to get my wip’s done and published!!

additional notes → not proofread, y’all know i can’t spell fr

you knew how passionate joe was for football the minute you saw him step onto the field to play for lsu.

there was a fire that burned inside of him so very brightly, and he wanted people to see that for themselves. joe was very grateful to have met you throughout the duration of his time attending lsu.

you two couldn’t have met in the most cliché way possible though, you’d taken a position as an athletic trainer out on the field along with your best friend & roomate, eden.

you’d gotten close with everyone, and even players on the team, but you’d caught the attention of a certain player, none other than the infamous star quarterback, joe burrow.

now, initially, you’d never really paid that much attention to him because you wanted to focus on yourself and what your path would be after college. but obviously some people would only experience college once in their entire lifetime, and of course you needed to make the most of it.

but of course, joe pursued you and he continued to take interest in you little by little. whether it was him purposely going out of his way to take a longer route to his classes, or ‘accidentally’ bumping into you at some random college party being held during the weekends.

it just so happened that tonight would be one of those nights where you miraculously bumped into each other at a party. eden had begged you constantly throughout the week to come join her at this party, and to which you finally complied.

eden stood in the bathroom doorway leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and the biggest smile plastered across her face, “you know y/n you’re very easy to convince.”

the only thing that you could do was purse your lips together and look at her with blank eyes. “so ignoring that lie, do you really want me to go to this party or are you trying to get with ja’marr? cause i mean i can make it happen-“, before you could say another word she screamed and disappeared into the bathroom before you could say another word.

“exactly.”

you wouldn’t admit this, but you purposely got ready an additional two hours before you initially had to leave. obviously eden noticed this but she wouldn’t say anything.

and so when the time came you two were out the door. hopping into the car and on your way, eden started giggling in the drivers seat. you didn’t pay any attention to her as you were occupied with fixing your lip gloss on the overhead mirror.

“y/n, i noticed you getting you ready way before we needed to leave, someone you seeing there?” she said nudging your arm, keeping your focus on the mirror.

you didn’t even look in her direction, “i don’t know what you’re talking about e, i’m just going to look good, feel good, and have the time of my college life.” you said, knowing you were lying out of your ass.

eden playfully rolled her eyes, “y/n, you know damn well i know you better than anyone else, plus that lie was literally horrible.” you sighed before closing the overhead mirror and you looked over at eden before admitting, “okay, i literally have not been able to stop thinking about joe for the longest time and i know it’s stupid because he could probably be fucking with me but i do like joe and i don’t know if he feels the same and ..”

eden squealed loudly and clapped her hands together enthusiastically before placing them back on the steering wheel. you looked at her with a ‘huh’ kind of face, “y/n you made it so obvious, any time you two get around each other, you both get all googly eyed” she said.

now that she said that, it didn’t take you long to realize that she was right, undeniably joe was charming, you knew he took an interest in you but you didn’t want to be heartbroken by his typical quarterback antics.

you wanted to believe that he was a different guy from the rest of them. “i know, i just don’t want to be hurt, i should trust him though, he does seem like a really sweet guy though.” you sighed, before you knew it eden parked the car a few houses down from the actual house.

she turned in her seat and looked at you, “look y/n you know i love you and i’m going to always give you the honest truth always, go for it. you i’ve never seen anyone chase for you as bad as he does,” you smiled as you both laughed at that, “and hell, even if you two actually do hit it off, who knows where you’ll be foe the next couple of years? and if you don’t hit off, fuck it, you’re hot as fuck and you know that.”

she smiled at you brightly as you hugged her tightly. “thank you e, i love you.” she patted your back and pulled away from you, “you know i got you, i’d never have you looking crazy out here anyway.” you both laughed again.

walking up to the front lawn, there were bodies that lingered around the porch and some that sat on the grass. you were walking side by side with eden when you heard ‘my shit’ by a boogie blaring from inside the house, you both quickly made your way into the house trying to find the center of the music.

time was passing by, you were smiling from ear to ear already enjoying yourself singing along to your favorite song with your best friend.

and shortly after you two found yourselves in the kitchen enjoying the array of different vodkas & tequilas, when suddenly people started scream and hold their phones out. being the two goofy people you were, you peeked your heads out the kitchen walk way like it was kind of cartoon or sitcom.

trying to see between the amount of people, low and behold, there they were, joe burrow & ja’marr chase, two of the most promising players that were to ever step onto the lash football field. both you and eden grinned excitedly at each other before taking your places back at the kitchen island.

you two couldn’t seem to keep your excitement and giggles down to the slight buzz of the alcohol but it was nothing that you couldn’t handle. after what seemed to be hours when in actuality it had been about 10 minutes, joe & ja’marr had walked into the kitchen, obviously you and eden hadn’t noticed due to you two having your backs turned to each other.

“is that my girl eden?” ja’marr said which caused the both of you to jump slightly and turn around. eden’s face lit up as she quickly made her way to hug ja’marr.

you smiled at the both of them, you knew she had a huge thing for him but you never knew if they actually took it to the next step. you took this as the time to just make your move, at this point it was now or never. “hi joe.” you said as joe’s face lit up, “hey y/n.” he opened up his arms and you took this chance to walk over to him and hugged him. at that moment your head was spinning and you couldn’t pinpoint where your mind was in that exact moment.

when joe’s arms wrapped back around you, you felt your entire body relax into his touch. the way he felt, the way he smelled was more intoxicating than the alcohol you consumed which made your head spin.

you looked over and say eden silently cheering you on. you winked at her and smiled. after a while you pulled away from joe as eden did the same with ja’marr. you looked at eden, she had look of brewing up an idea.

“ja’marr what is she thinking?” joe said before bringing his red solo cup to his lips,

“you’re asking the wrong person, you should be asking her!” ja’marr said as he pointed to you while laughing.

quickly, you held up your hands in defense. “let’s play cup pong! since you guys don’t have a game this weekend, all limits are off! loser has to skinny dip and jump into the pool.”

“i’m in.” you said giggling while grabbing the cups and setting them up. unbeknownst, joe was watching your every move, your skin glowed (complimentary of the fenty body glitter) in the dimly light kitchen.

few people had passed through the kitchen but didn’t care to acknowledge the four of you, which you mentally thanked. you poured the small amounts of tequila into the cups and downed the minuscule amount that was left.

it was you & eden on one team then joe and ja’marr on the other. “who starts first?” joe said as she placed his hands onto the kitchen island.

damn he looked good.

“we’ll go first!” eden said as she quickly grabbed the small neon purple ball, she bounced the ball onto the table and watched it land in the cup on the other side.

you noticed ja’marr sending small glances at eden, but she was too oblivious and made it her sole mission to win this game of cup pong. but you occasionally noticed joe sending you glances as well, too flustered to do anything you quickly looked away to avoid any eye contact feeling as though you’d just pass out from nervous he made you.

joe was very aware of how he made you feel, and he was determined to make you his. minutes passed by, eden had managed to completely demolish them by leaving only two cups left.

“man you guys actually suck.” you said laughing.

“i’m used to throwing long distance, not short distance.” joe said with a look of fake hurt on his face as he dramatically placed a hand over his heart.

you shook your head laughing as eden handed you the small ping pong balls, “y/n don’t mess this up!” she teased, “eden, they literally have 6 cups left to our 2, i don’t think we’re losing this game any time soon.”

“alright! time to skinny dip! chop chop!”

eden said clapping her hands. ja’marr playfully rolled his eyes, “do we actually have to?” he said before taking his shirt off. “you ask that while taking your shirt off, so yes, you answered your own question.” joe sighed as he took off his shirt.

you laughed as joe handed you the rest of his clothes along with ja’marr handing his to eden. joe took his glasses off and placed them on your head, “don’t need these getting damaged.” he said before diving head first into the pool.

man were you enjoying life right now.

#joe burrow #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow x black reader #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fic

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geekfanficwriter · 1 year

Text

Spellbound- Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Soulmate AU in which your soulmate's name appears on your wrist on your 18th birthday. You're one of the most popular girls in the school so when the school's residence freak's name appears on your wrist it can't be him, right? Words: 9.8k Warnings: Bullying, cheerleader!reader, slight angst, sort of enemies to lovers, reader is a bully

Author’s Note: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written but I hope people enjoy it!

‘Oh my god, I’m so excited for tomorrow.’ Chrissy squealed hanging off your arm as you both walked out of cheer practice.

‘Yeah, I think you’re more excited than me.’ You laughed. Tomorrow was your 18th birthday which meant the day you got your soulmate tattoo. Everyone found out the first name of their soulmate on their 18th birthday and the tattoo would remain until you and your soulmate showed each other your tattoos, after that they would glow for a moment before vanishing and you would officially know who you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. You personally thought it was bullshit, how could the universe know that you were meant to be with? What if you hated your soulmate or fell in love with someone else? You didn’t like the idea that you weren’t responsible for your fate.

‘Maybe it’s Matthew, he turns 18 in a month so he doesn’t have it yet.’ Chrissy speculated as the two of you approached the car park.

‘God I hope not. Matthew is a dick.’ You grimaced. Matthew was one of the basketball guys that you regularly hung out with and you hated him. He was arrogant and felt entitled to whatever girl he wanted. You rather die than be stuck with him for the rest of your life. You waved Chrissy off as she ran over to Jason’s car as you walked towards your own. You dug through your purse looking for your keys until you felt yourself walk into someone, dropping your purse and the contents spilling all over the floor.

‘Oh my god, watch where you’re going.’ You snap looking up to see who walked into you. You saw a mop of messy brown hair and big round eyes and realised you’d walked into Eddie Munson, the leader of the Hellfire Club. You didn’t know much about him but from what you heard you knew you weren’t safe being alone with him right now. Obviously, you’d seen his tirades in the cafeteria and you felt like he was such a weirdo. You knelt down, trying to quickly shove all your stuff in your purse and get away. He didn’t say anything to you, just knelt down and helped you out. You hadn’t expected him to do that.

‘Umm, thanks.’ You said as you finished packing up your bag, grabbing your keys and holding them in your hand.

‘It’s alright.’ He nodded at you and walked away, heading towards his van. You watched him walked towards his van in confusion. He hadn’t been creepy or weird, he had barely spoken to you and had been kind enough to help you out. You also had to admit that close up he was kind of cute. I mean you’d never date him but you could appreciate a nice face. You shook off the weird feeling and walked towards your car, wanting to get home.

You woke up in the morning and sighed. Today was the day, the day you would find out which asshole you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. When you and Chrissy had spoken on the phone last night she’d tried to convince you to stay up til midnight and watch the tattoo appear but you’d not been interested. You were tired from cheer practice and knew today would be a tiring day of people asking you about your soulmate so you wanted your sleep. You had to admit even though you didn’t believe in this shit you were curious about who the universe had paired you up with. You took a deep breath and looked down at your wrist, reading the name printed in a clear text. Edward. Who the hell was Edward?

‘Let me see, let me see, let me see.’ Chrissy practically ran at you, nearly jumping up and down.

‘Okay calm down.’ You said holding out your wrist. She looked down at the name on your wrist and frowned.

‘I don’t know any Edwards.’ She pouted clearly disappointed that she couldn’t drag you over to the love of your life right that second.

‘Yeah, it’ll probably be some guy I go to college with or something.’ You shrug as you reach your locker and start grabbing the books for your current class.

‘Yeah, I guess. I was just really excited that you’d meet the love of your life today.’ You rolled your eyes. You thought it was cute that Chrissy believed in all this stuff but you were honestly not interested. You just wanted to go about your life, and not have it revolve around some guy.

‘Maybe it’s because you know who your soulmate is?’ You questioned. Even though Chrissy hadn’t had her 18th birthday, Jason had and his wrist very clearly read Chrissy so everyone knew the day she turned 18 the name Jason would appear. You knew for someone like Chrissy it would probably disappointing that she didn’t get the excitement of finding out her soulmate the day she turned 18 but at least she also loved the person she was meant to be spending her life with before. You meet this Edward and would have to develop a love for him while knowing he was your soulmate, and that just felt weird. You would go your whole life not knowing if your love was real or something you felt because you were supposed to.

‘Yeah, I mean it’s so exciting that yours is a mystery. Maybe he’s Italian or something.’ Chrissy said excitingly.

‘His name is Edward, pretty sure he’s not Italian.’ You laughed at that moment.

‘Well anyway, I haven’t got your gift with me. I’ll give it to you tomorrow before your party.’ Chrissy said, switching subjects. You were happy, you didn’t want to talk about your soulmate anymore. You were much more excited about your party. Your parents had decided to take a trip away so you were throwing a big birthday party where the majority of the senior year was invited and Chrissy was coming over early to help you set up and get ready together.

‘It better be good. Otherwise, I’m getting you dirt for your birthday.’ You joke. You knew Chrissy would get you a good gift, she always did. Just at that moment, the bell rang and you walked towards your class.

By the time lunch rolled around you were so done with this whole soulmate thing. It felt like every 30 seconds someone was asking you about who your soulmate was. You kept your answers vague, just saying that you didn’t know who it was and you probably hadn’t met him yet. Most people accepted that answer, knowing that you wouldn’t open up more but a couple had pushed for a name to which you just ignored them in order to avoid screaming at them.

You dropped your tray down on the table opposite Chrissy and Jason sighing as you did so. Chrissy looked up at you and saw your frustrated face and gave you a sympathetic look. It wasn’t that you didn’t like being at the centre of attention, you loved it, but you wanted it to be for any other reason than this.

‘So, Y/N, who’s the soulmate?’ Jason asked you as you started to pick at your food.

‘Don’t know, never met anyone with his name.’ You shrugged.

‘Oh my god, maybe you know. Do you know any Edwards?’ Chrissy asked excitedly turning to her boyfriend. The second she said the name Jason started laughing and you glared at him. You knew from his laughter that he knew something you didn’t.

‘What’s so funny?’ You asked. You could tell he was using the mocking laugh that he normally reserved for people below him on the social ladder and you didn’t like the way it was directed at you. Normally you would laugh along with him but you were on the same level as him so he shouldn’t be laughing at you. Hell, you were probably even more popular than him.

‘What do you think the freak’s first name is?’ He said between his laugh.

‘It’s Eddie, what’s your- oh my god.’ You said realising what he was implying. Eddie, short for Edward. He thought that the school’s resident devil worshipper was your soulmate.

‘No, there’s no way. I mean I can’t be with someone like that. It’s definitely a different Edward.’ You say shocked. I mean if this got out that there was even a chance your soulmate was him, your reputation would be ruined. And you definitely couldn’t date him, your life would be over.

‘I can go pin him down and pull up his sleeve if you want.’ Jason laughed, clearly thinking this whole thing is a joke. You glared at him.

‘No, because he’s not my soulmate. Besides even if he is this whole thing is stupid, I mean I’m definitely not meant to be with him. Look at him and look at me.’ You said pointing over at him where he sat with his friends. God they all looked like such losers, you could never be seen with him.

‘It could be cute, opposites attract and all.’ Chrissy shrugged. You love Chrissy but sometimes you hated how nice she was. She was kind to everyone regardless of social status and it bothered you cause it made you look like a bitch next to her.

‘No, it wouldn’t be cute, it would be like the world was ending. I mean ew. Just ew.’ You couldn’t imagine being stuck with someone like him. Even if he was your soulmate, doesn’t mean you had to be with him. You would never be with him.

You looked into the mirror and sighed straightening your dress one more time and making sure the necklace Chrissy had given you was straight. It was a friendship necklace and she had the matching one which you love. Sure it was kind of cheesy but it was very Chrissy to get the two of you necklaces so ‘you wouldn’t find a new best friend in college’ (her words not yours). You walked out of the room and knocked on the bathroom door to check on Chrissy.

‘You alright, Chris?’ You yelled through the door. You hear some shuffling about and then the door opened to Chrissy who was wiping her mouth. You didn’t know how to help her with this stuff so you just gave her a hug.

‘I’m okay, Y/N.’ She told you, hugging you back.

‘You sure? I can cancel tonight and we can put on our pyjamas and watch movies.’

‘No, no. Besides people are literally about to show up.’ She laughed and you nodded, grabbing her and walking downstairs. You heard the doorbell ring and opened the door to the first group of people who were the other cheerleaders and some of the basketball players including Jason. You greeted them all and led them through to the kitchen where they could grab drinks, grabbing one yourself.

More and more people arrived and soon the party was in full swing, music was blasting and people were socialising or dancing. You walked passed a couple who were making out and made a disgusted face as you headed outside, looking for some of your closer friends as Chrissy and Jason had ran off. As you reached your garden looking at all the people out there when you saw a familiar face hovering around.

‘What the hell is he doing here?’ You asked Patrick who was leaning against the wall of your house.

‘People wanted weed and he’s a dealer.’ Patrick shrugged. You stormed over and grabbed Eddie by the arm glaring at him.

‘You weren’t invited.’ You told him crossing your arms.

‘I was, someone called me asking for weed.’ He told you as if it wasn’t a big deal that he was at your house.

‘Well this is my house and my party and I didn’t invite you so leave.’ You said pointing for him to get away.

‘Fine, I’m going.’ He said starting to walk away. ‘God, I hope you aren’t my soulmate.’ He mumbled as he walked away. You almost missed it but you just heard it.

‘What did you just say?’ You said following him around to the side of your house and grabbing his arm, turning him around to look at him.

‘Why would I be your soulmate?’ You ask him as he scoffs at you.

‘Don’t worry, you definitely aren’t. You don’t have to worry about your reputation being ruined.’ You didn’t respond, instead, you just turned over his arm and pulled up his sleeve, seeing your name clearly written there. You gasped and held out your wrist with his name on it and both your tattoos started glowing and then disappeared completely. You stood there frozen in place as you looked down at your now blank arm completely in shock. Eddie didn’t say anything either, he seemed to be as shocked as you. Eventually, you reacted, running away from him back into your house and up the stairs to your room. There was a couple in your room but you kicked them out and sat down on your bed, placing your head in your hands. You felt tears fill your eyes and you reached into your tissue box and found it empty. You knew you kept some in your bag so you dug through it, and as you were looking through it your found something else. It was a chain bracelet that definitely wasn’t yours. It must’ve been Eddie’s and had fallen off when you’d bumped into him a few days ago. You crammed it back in your bag. You didn’t want to think about Eddie or soulmates or anything. You just wanted to curl up. You heard a knock at your door and groaned.

‘Go away!’ You yelled, not moving from your place on the floor. You heard the door open anyway and you turned round to yell at the person when you saw it was Chrissy.

‘Hey, someone said they saw you looking freaked out and I came to check on you.’ She said sitting down on the floor next to you.

‘I’m fine.’ You sighed, not looking over at her.

‘And that’s why you're sitting on your bedroom floor while there’s a party going on outside?’ She asked. You sighed and held out your arm. Chrissy looked confused before realising it was blank.

‘Oh my god, who is it? Are they cute?’ She said wrapping her arm around you.

‘It’s Munson.’ You said quietly. You didn’t want to say it but you had to tell her. She was your best friend.

‘Oh well, maybe it could work. You just need to get to know him. Be kind.’ She told you as you rested your head on her shoulder.

‘Absolutely not. You know I don’t believe in this soulmate stuff and there’s no way I’m spending the rest of my life with him.’ You shook your head, you just couldn’t imagine being with him forever.

‘You don’t need to be so negative. I’ve spoken to him before and he’s actually really nice.’ You sit up looking up at her shocked.

‘When have you ever spoken to him?’ You asked, looking confused.

‘Oh, you know just in classes and stuff.’ She said and you could tell she was lying.

‘Have you been buying drugs? Chrissy, you shouldn’t do that shit.’ You scolded her.

‘It’s only occasionally when things get too much.’ She admits tears welling in her eyes. You hugged her, rubbing her back.

‘You don’t need to do drugs, you can always come to me. You’re my best friend.’

‘I know I’m sorry. I just don’t want to bother you. You’ve got so much on your plate.’ She cries slightly as you comfort her.

‘You would never bother me.’ You tell her, being genuine. Chrissy was your best friend and you’d do anything for her.

‘Anyway? Do you think you could actually get to know Eddie for me?’ She smiles at you slightly and you roll your eyes.

‘Anything, except that. Now come on, let's fix up our makeup and head back out.’ You stand up off the floor and grab Chrissy’s hand, pulling her up.

On Monday morning you had resolved what you were going to do. You were going to confront Eddie and tell him there was no chance of the two of you ever getting together. You knew he was probably excited that his soulmate was someone popular like you but just because the universe had decided you were meant to be didn’t mean you were actually going to be with him.

First thing in the morning you made your way over to his locker where he was standing with those weird friends of his. You stormed straight up to him and didn’t even give him a chance to speak.

‘Meet me in your spot in the woods at lunch.’ You told him before storming off, not giving him a chance to respond.

At lunch you headed over to the woods, putting down your jacket on the bench where Eddie normally did his deals before sitting down, you didn’t want to ruin your cheer skirt, especially as you had practice this afternoon. It didn’t take long for Eddie to show up after you, gripping his lunchbox that you knew was filled with drugs.

‘So what do you want? Weed? Pills?’ He asked, sitting down in front of you and opening the lunchbox, looking through it.

‘You know that’s not why I’m here.’ You said with your arms crossed. He sighed and closed the lunchbox.

‘I haven’t told anyone if that’s what you’re wondering. Believe me, I’m as embarrassed as you are.’ He says his arms crossed over his torso. You look at him with a glare.

‘You’re embarrassed?’ You exclaim. ‘Your soulmate is one of the most popular girls in school, you have no reason to be embarrassed. I, however, do.’

‘You’re right, what reason would I have to be embarrassed by a soulmate who’s a mega-bitch?’ He shoots back.

‘I have a reason to be a bitch, my entire reputation is on the line!’ You yell. Did he not understand how important it was to you to keep your spot in the school?

‘Oh no, somebody might think you’re weird because you’re soulmates the school’s resident freak. How tragic. You know what maybe I should tell people. It might knock you down a peg or two.’ He shot you a mean grin and you looked at him, mouth agape.

‘You can’t do that, it’ll ruin my reputation.’ You looked at him wide-eyed. I mean you knew he hated you but this was just cruel. How could he think to ruin something so important to you?

‘Oh no, you might have to live a life where people think you’re a freak, how terrible.’ He fake pouted at you. ‘Actually yeah, I think I will start telling people. You can find out for once what it’s like to be on the receiving end of all your shit.’ He stands up and starts to walk away but you get up, grabbing his arm and turning him to face you.

‘You can’t do this, my reputation is all I have.’ You beg him. You didn’t want to have to beg for anything from Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson but you couldn’t have your reputation ruined.

‘Please, don’t kid yourself. You come from a rich family with happily married parents, and you can afford to go to some nice fancy college where you’ll make plenty of new friends and be on top in no time. You’ve got plenty of other things going for you.’ He scoffs back at you. You let out a laugh.

‘That just shows how little you know about me.’ You tell him. ‘You want to know the truth about me? Fine. I didn’t get into any college, none of the colleges I applied to even waitlisted me. It was just a straight-out rejection. I’ve told everyone that I’m going to NYU but in reality, I have no idea what I’m doing. So now I have no clue what I’m going to do with my life but I’ll probably end up working some shitty retail job for the rest of my life. And as far as my family goes well they fucking suck as well. My dad has a gambling addiction and our house is about to be reclaimed by the bank so soon I’m going to have nowhere to live and my parents' so-called happy marriage? Yeah, that’s bullshit too. I mean they’re meant to be soulmates but I’ve never met two people who hated each other more and rather than just getting a divorce and accepting that the universe is bullshit and doesn’t know how to pair up people, they play happy families while fucking other people. So yeah, my reputation is the only thing I have and in a few months, I’ll be one of those losers who peaked in high school and never did anything with their lives but until then I’d appreciate it if you could keep quiet.’ You breathed heavily as you finished your rant. You hadn’t told anyone, any of that, not even Chrissy, so you didn’t know why you told Eddie. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you and suddenly you realised that you had started crying while speaking. It felt weird to have someone like Eddie, someone who you didn’t even like comforting you but at the same time, it was nice.

‘I’m sorry.’ Eddie mumbled as you cried into his chest. You felt vulnerable for once in your life. The feeling scared you so you reacted in the only way you knew how. You pushed Eddie away from you and ran away, leaving him behind looking confused and shocked.

Avoiding Eddie should’ve been the easiest thing ever but it was like no matter where you looked there he was. Suddenly he was like a ghost who haunted you and no one else, around every corner, in every hallway. You just wanted him to vanish but he never would. You had stopped making fun of him and his friends since that day in the woods last week in hopes he would keep your secrets quiet, which so far he had, but god you wished he wasn’t here. Especially as every time, you saw him your pulse raced and you couldn’t help but stare at him. But it didn’t mean anything. If it did all it meant was that you hadn’t had a hookup in a while and he seemed like an easy option. You sighed as you turned into the hallway containing your locker to see him yet again heading towards you. He avoided making eye contact with you, instead just moving past you but you knew he noticed you and you noticed him.

You arrived at your locker and realised pretty quickly that everyone was staring at you and whispering. This was a pretty common occurrence for you but this felt weird like everyone was in on some secret except you. You just rolled your eyes and ignored it, pulling out your books and heading down the hallway where all your friends were standing.

‘Hey, guys. What’s up?’ You greeted the other members of the cheer squad and their boyfriends who stood there. They looked at you, giving you a look that you’d only ever seen directed at others. A look you had given a hundred times yourself. It was a look like you were dirt off the bottom of their shoes like you weren’t anyone worth interacting with. The only person who didn’t look at you that way was Chrissy who had a pitying look on her face.

‘Okay is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?’ You snap, crossing your arms over your chest.

‘What’s going on is we don’t talk to people like you and we certainly don’t cheer with people like me.’ Jessica, one of the girls on your cheer team, said.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You glare, squaring up at her. You weren’t going to let someone who couldn’t even remember a simple cheer talk to you like that.

‘We know who your soulmate is and clearly, there’s only one way you could’ve ended up with someone like that. You’re a freak too.’ You felt the colour drain from your face. How the fuck had they found out? Who had told them?

‘You know I don’t believe in that soulmate bullshit so why does it even matter?’ You rolled your eyes, playing it like you weren’t totally freaking out on the inside.

‘I think you were the one who kicked Cindy off the cheer team when we found out her soulmate was Brian and believe me, Eddie is a million times worse than anyone else at this school.’

‘And who died and made you queen? Last I checked I was Captain and I was the one who pulled you out of the dirt. Before you met me you were some loser with acne and no hope of ever getting a boy to even look at you. I can easily put you back there.’ You spit back, venom flying off every word.

‘You were Captain. We took a vote, you’re being removed from the squad, effective immediately and Chrissy will be taking your place.’ Jessica looked at you with a smug smile as your eyes immediately flew to your best friends. She couldn’t even make eye contact with you, instead focusing intensely on her hands. You scoffed and shook your head.

‘Fine, I can do better than you bitches anyway.’ You stormed off and you knew exactly where you were going. To find Eddie Munson and kill him for telling everyone about the two of you. You heard a voice call your name as you walked away and you spun round to see Chrissy running towards you.

‘Don’t blame Eddie for telling everyone.’ She looked at you with pleading eyes.

‘Why not? He ruined my life, I’m going to ruin his.’ You said with a fire in your voice.

‘He didn’t tell anyone. It’s all my fault. I told Jason because I thought he would keep it secret but he told everyone else.’ Her eyes welled with tears as you spoke. You looked at her for a second with your mouth agape before you burst out with a cruel laugh.

‘Of course. It all makes sense now. You wanted what I had so you played the one card you had.’ You shook your head at her.

‘What? No, I would never do that.’ She looked at you, shocked that you would think that.

‘Oh please, save the innocent lamb act for someone who believes it. I know what you really are. And here, take this, give it to Jessica or whichever one of those bitches you actually care about.’ You reached behind your neck and undid the friendship necklace, Chrissy had given you, throwing it into her hand before walking away.

By the time lunch rolled around the whole school knew about your soulmate and how you’d been ousted from the cheer squad. There were constant whispers following you everywhere and now you didn’t have the protection of your reputation everyone who you’d spent the last few years making fun of had decided it was open season and you were prey. You finally understood how everyone you bullied felt and you felt incredibly guilty for the way you had treated people. You were just happy you had found an empty table to eat your lunch at and remained unbothered. You kept your head down, not focusing on anything around you and wishing that the bell would ring so you could go to class, at least there you wouldn’t be as vulnerable as you were right now.

‘Hey, bitch.’ A voice yelled from somewhere in the cafeteria. You ignored it. You knew it was probably directed at you but you hoped the person would just go away if you kept your head down.

‘I’m talking to you, bitch.’ Jason said from directly behind you, gripping the back of your head and pulling it up to meet his gaze. You felt tears well in your eyes as he held your hair tightly in his hand, nearly pulling it out of your scalp.

‘You made my girlfriend cry and I won’t let anyone get away with that, especially not a loser like you.’ You gasped in pain as he gripped your hair even tighter. How could so much have changed in a day? How could you be the one at the bottom instead of on top where you belonged?

‘Hey man, let go of her.’ Another voice said. You didn’t need to look to know who it was (although you couldn’t if you wanted to). It was Eddie. The hand gripping the back of your head let go, harshly pushing you forward as you let out gasps.

‘Aw, defending your soulmate, freak. How cute.’ Jason said mockingly, turning to face Eddie.

‘No, I just think men who put their hands on women are pieces of shit.’ Eddie said, his voice incredibly calm.

‘You fucking freak.’ You didn’t see what happened next, too busy recovering from your own ordeal, but you heard a bone-cracking crunch and a yell from behind you. You turned around, expecting to see Eddie clutching his nose but instead it was Jason kneeling over, blood dripping from his hands which were clutched around his face. You didn’t want to see what happened next so you quickly stood up and made your way out of the cafeteria.

The second you were outside the school you collapsed to your knees on the hard pavement, sobs overtaking your body. Your life had become hell in the space of a few hours.

You tried to breathe but it felt like no air was entering your lungs so instead you hyperventilated, panicking but not being about to do anything about it.

‘Hey, hey, it’s okay.’ You heard a voice say, feeling an arm wrap around your shoulder. ‘You’re having a panic attack. Come on, deep breath in, deep breath out.’ You tried to focus on breathing but it was as if every bodily function had shut down. It took a moment of whoever was there coaching you through your breaths but eventually you were breathing normally again, your heart rate slowly returning to its normal rhythm. You looked up and saw the person in front of you was Eddie, staring at you with a look of concern on his face.

‘Why are you being so nice to me?’ You speak your voice strained. You didn’t understand, you’d spent the last god knows how many years making his life hell? Why wouldn’t he just let the same happen to you? You would if you were him.

‘Because no one deserves to be treated the way you are currently.’ He sighed and stood up, holding out a hand to you. You took it and he helped pull you up off the floor. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shivering. You weren’t cold but it felt like your entire body had shut down and was now rebooting. Eddie shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulder. As you wrapped it around yourself tightly. It smelt of a strong musky cologne that was clearly being used as an attempt to mask the smell of cigarette smoke but was failing miserably. You didn’t completely hate the smell, it was comforting in a way.

‘You don’t have to do this, you know? You could just leave me here. I would.’ For the first time in your life, you avoid making eye contact with someone, genuinely ashamed of yourself.

‘I’m not going to do that. It would be cruel. Now come on, I’ll drive you home. You’re in no state to go back inside.’ You nod and Eddie leads you over to his van, his hand hovering near the small of your back. You quickly climb in once you reach the van and Eddie climbs around the other side, pulling out of the parking lot. The drive is mostly silent except for you giving Eddie directions and the quiet music coming from his speakers. You don’t recognise the songs but you know it’s one of the metal bands he listens to. Surprisingly, you don’t completely hate it and find yourself tapping along to it, although you can’t tell if that’s out of nervousness or not.

Eventually, you pull up outside your house and you look over at Eddie who’s fiddling with the rings on his hands.

‘Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it.’ You smile awkwardly at him, not sure what else to say.

‘It’s okay. Anytime.’ He shrugs. You fiddle with the door handle for a moment considering what to do.

‘Do you want to come in? I don’t want to be alone right now.’ You ask before your brain really registers what you’re saying.

‘Umm, you sure? Aren’t your parents home?’ He looks at you with a frown and you feel your cheeks growing red with embarrassment. Why did you invite him in? You should’ve just left. God, what if he thinks you’re inviting him in for sex.

‘My dad’s at work and my mom has aerobics class all afternoon.’ You shrug. The last part was a lie. Your mom was next door, screwing the neighbour but you’d already told Eddie too much about your mess of a family. He didn’t need to know more. ‘You don’t have to come in. I’ll be fine.’

‘No, I’ll come in. I wouldn’t want you to be alone.’ You nod and climb out of the car, pulling your house keys out of your bag and heading towards the door, Eddie following closely behind you. You open the door and lead Eddie upstairs into your room. You both stand there awkwardly, waiting for the other one to make a move.

‘I’m going to change out of this.’ You eventually say, heading over to your wardrobe and grabbing a pair of sweats and a random t-shirt before heading into your en-suite. The second you look in the mirror you realise just how terrible you look right now. Your makeup is all streaked down your face and your skin is all blotchy. You quickly change your outfit and clean your face. You consider for a moment reapplying your makeup but decide against it and head out of the bathroom to see Eddie sitting in your desk chair. You make your way over to your bed, curling up underneath the covers.

‘I’m never moving from here.’ You inform Eddie as you make yourself comfortable.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re going to go to school tomorrow and you’re going to use your evil powers for good and let them know you can’t be fucked with.’ You let out a snort at his words.

‘But what if I’m too far gone and I’m just too obsessed with power? Like Smeagol.’ Your eyes widened as you finish the sentence. You did not just let slip that you had read Lord of the Rings.

‘Y/N Y/L/N, are you secretly a nerd?’ Eddie narrows his eyes at you and your cheeks flush under his gaze.

‘No, of course not. We had to read it for English class.’ You lie.

‘No, we didn’t I’d remember that.’ He informs you and you let out a sigh.

‘Fine, maybe in Middle School before I became cool, I liked fantasy.’ You admit, rolling your eyes. ‘But I haven’t been into that stuff since I was a kid.’

‘That’s weird. I don’t remember you in Middle School. I feel like you just showed up on the first day of High School.’

‘Yeah, that’s by design. Over summer, I went through a complete transformation. Changed my hair, started wearing contacts, changed my wardrobe, and took gymnastic lessons so I could join Cheer. I couldn’t handle another year of being the loser who played the violin.’ You told him, thinking back to how painful that summer had actually been. You had given up everything you loved in order to make sure you’d be in with the popular crowd.

‘Oh my god! I do remember you. You were a really good violin player, like could’ve joined a professional orchestra good. I can’t believe you gave that up.’ He exclaimed. He couldn’t believe that you were the same person. You really had gone through a transformation.

‘Wanna know a secret? I never gave it up. Still play when no one’s around. Even teach some kids for extra cash.’ You shrug as if it wasn’t a big deal.

‘Wow, that’s amazing.’ Eddie looks at you with wide eyes, slowly realising that you weren’t the girl he thought you were. You had layers that ran deeper than he thought.

‘Yeah. That’s why I didn’t get into any colleges. They were all music schools and I guess compared to someone who’s spent their entire High School career focusing on music, I’m not that good. I actually did get into community college but I just don’t know if I want to go.’ You admit the full truth of your college situation. You had lied earlier but the truth would’ve involved admitting your love for music.

‘Well, screw those schools. I bet I wouldn’t get in and I’m the best guitarist I know.’ You let out a genuine laugh. You couldn’t believe how comfortable you were around Eddie. You had spent years hiding who you were and pretending to be someone else and now you were here with someone who you never expected to be around, with no fake persona, just being you.

‘Thanks, Eddie. I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this but it’s been nice to spend time with you.’ You both grinned genuine smiles at each other. You couldn’t believe it. You had forgotten in the past few years that there we actually kind people out there, that your friends weren’t just out to stab you in the back at the first opportunity. It felt nice to be around someone who seemed to genuinely care.

‘Yeah, I can’t believe it either but I also had a good time.’ Eddie rubs the back of his neck. You couldn’t believe how lucky you’d gotten with your soulmate. Your eyes widened at your thought. You absolutely were not thinking about Eddie in a romantic way. Clearly, your brain was all confused cause usually when guys were nice to you they just wanted to sleep with you so it was some sort of psychological thing.

‘You look like you’ve just realised that the person you’re hanging out with is Hawkins resident ‘Satan worshipper’.’ He puts air quotes around the last words and you shake your head.

‘Nah, nothing like that. Just, nothing.’ You trail off unsure what to say. What sort of effect did this boy have on you? It was like he was some sort of devil, seducing you into telling him all your secrets and becoming a complete idiot around him. You stare at him. His arms we exposed as he had given you his jacket and you were shocked to see they were actually quite muscular. You were fascinated by his tattoos and rings, he was unlike anyone else you’d ever seen.

‘Why are you staring at me like that?’ He asks cautiously as if you’re observing him throw an insult at him.

‘Can I see your tattoos?’ You ask without thinking. Eddie nods and scoots your desk chair closer to the bed, holding out his arms to you. You turn them slowly in your hands, tracing the ink slowly with your fingers. Eddie’s breath hitched in his throat, his heart racing. He couldn’t help it, he had always thought you were pretty, even if your attitude had been horrific and now it was like within the space of a few hours you’d become a completely different person. And even though he knew you viewed the changes in your life as bad, he thought they were maybe good for you.

‘Did they hurt?’ You ask as you trace them, before moving your hands down to his own to examine the rings on his fingers.

‘Yeah, but it isn’t too bad. More of a dull ache than anything.’ He shrugs, trying to not focus on the fact that you were basically holding his hands. You glance up, looking him directly in the eyes and he was pretty sure his heart was about to jump into his throat. He swallowed as you looked at him, looking completely different from the mean cheerleader he’d known before. Your own heart was pounding in your chest as you stared deeply into his beautiful brown eyes. How had you never noticed how perfect his eyes were before now? They drew you in like he was a siren singing a beautiful song.

You don’t know who lent in first but the next thing you know your lips are pressed together in a passionate kiss. Eddie removes one of his hands from yours, wrapping it tightly in your hair as if he’s trying to hold you as close as possible. You rest your free hand on his leg feeling his skin through the rip in his jean. You couldn’t believe how amazing he was at kissing. You know understood what people meant when they said kissing your soulmate was different. It was like his lips were made for yours.

Eventually, you pulled away, resting your forehead against Eddie’s as you both kept your eyes closed. You were worried if you opened your eyes, you’d be awake from whatever had happened. That it would all be a dream and you wouldn’t have just had your complete world turned upside down. Or even worse, reality would set in and Eddie would remember that you were the person who had spent the last four years making everyone around your lives hell.

‘Wow, am I that bad a kisser?’ Eddie laughed, moving his hand from the back of your head and wiping away tears you didn’t know had fallen.

‘No, the opposite. I just don’t understand how you can kiss me like that and not think of all the horrible things I’ve done.’ You sob out. It was as if four years of guilt you’d been suppressing were pilling on all at once. You had hidden the guilt deep down inside you but it had always been there and like a storm brewing, it all came at once.

‘Hey.’ Eddie said wrapping his arms around you. ‘I’m not going to tell you it’s okay or pretend that everyone is going to forgive you because they’re not. But I am going to say that I can already see a change in you and I think it’s a good change and I’m personally excited to meet the new and improved Y/N who cares about the others around her.’ You smile slightly at his words. You’d never had someone believe that you could be anything other than what you were. It was nice to have someone who believed that you could actually make a positive improvement and that something other than popularity matters.

‘You’re too good, Eddie Munson.’ You murmured into his shoulder. It was true. You’d always thought he would be a terrible person who didn’t care about anything but he was kind-hearted and cared about others. He was the complete opposite of everything you’d believed him to be.

‘I’m not. I think any normal person would do what I’m doing.’ He rubbed your shoulder and you pulled your head up to look at him, grinning slightly as you did so.

‘So you think any normal person would kiss me like that?’ You tease, pulling up your hand to wrap a strand of his hair around your finger.

‘Oh, I think they’d want to. I mean they’d have to be insane to not view you as a goddess.’ He smiles at you.

‘Smooth. I’ve never heard that line before.’ You grin at him. He shakes his head.

‘Not a line just telling you the truth.’ He shrugs, leaning in and kissing you again in the most amazing kiss you’ve experienced.

It felt weird heading into school without your cheer uniform on. It was the first time since Freshman year that you hadn’t worn in but no matter how uncomfortable you held your head and jumped out of Eddie’s van ignoring all the stares and whispers. Eddie had ended up staying with you for hours, just talking and kissing, eventually, he headed back to his own place but he had offered you a ride to school as you had left your car there the night before.

As you walked into school you headed straight over to the group of cheerleaders and jocks who stood talking, your cheer uniform in hand. Eddie was following close behind you but he was keeping his distance, letting you deal with it yourself. They looked over at you and laughed but you kept heading in their direction, not letting up.

‘I just thought I’d return my uniform. Unfortunately, it got a bit destroyed.’ You hand the cheer uniform over to Chrissy who holds up the tattered pieces. After Eddie had left you had decided to pick up your uniform off the bathroom floor and took a pair of scissors to it. Slightly petty but you could’ve easily done worse.

‘What the fuck did you do? That’s school property.’ Jessica screeched, grabbing the uniform from Chrissy’s hands.

‘As if you give a shit. Or were you thinking of giving it to whatever poor loser you find to replace me? Maybe you can give them yours considering you can’t even stay on beat.’ You reply, looking at Jessica with fire in your eyes.

‘I think you’ve forgotten. You’re a loser now. I’m planning to make your life hell already, don’t make it worse for yourself. Or your freak boyfriend.’ She snaps back. You sigh and turn towards Kyle, her boyfriend.

‘Kyle, you remember when Jessica disappeared during your birthday party last year? She was screwing Tom, yes the Tom you call your best friend.’ Jessica’s mouth falls open as Kyle turns to Tom pushing him against the locker. Holding his fist up.

‘Boys, stop.’ You say clicking your fingers, and they both turn to face you. ‘You can beat the shit out of each other in a second but first, you’re all going to understand this. I have dirt on every single person here. If you make my life, Eddie’s life, hell anyone in this whole school’s life hell and I’ll start dropping secrets like bombs. And believe me, there’s some stuff you never want out there, especially if I decide that the Hawkins PD would be more interested than just High Schoolers.’ You have your arms crossed over your chest as they all stare at you, fear in their eyes. You turn on your heel and walk away, reaching Eddie who is standing a few feet away.

‘Okay, I’m officially scared of you.’ He laughs and you smile back at him.

‘I’m pretty sure you’re the one who told me to use my evil powers for good.’ You smile and wrap your arms around his neck. ‘And just to make sure they know where I stand.’ You lean forward and kiss him hard. Eddie was shocked for a moment but he kissed you back, his hands gripping your waist hard.

‘I think I got confused between scared and turned on.’ Eddie says making you laugh.

‘Don’t get any ideas. At least not until we’re out of school. I’ll see you at lunch.’ You lean up and give him one more kiss before walking to your first-period class.

You hold your lunch tray in your hand and make your way over to Eddie’s table, sitting in the empty seat to his right. Eddie’s friends all stare at you with wide eyes but you don’t react. You understood why they’d be terrified of you, especially with the way you’ve acted towards them in the last few years.

‘So you’re really Eddie’s soulmate then?’ His friend with shaggy brown hair asked and you shrugged.

‘I guess so. I’m not complaining though.’ You smile at Eddie.

‘You don’t care that your entire life basically has just fallen apart?’ His friend asked and you flinched slightly at his words.

‘I wouldn’t say my entire life has fallen apart. I’m just starting a new chapter in my life. One where I’m not a massive bitch, at least to people who don’t deserve it.’ You hope they believe your words. You really were trying to make a difference in yourself. You were going to become a better person, stop hurting others and focus on yourself, not just your reputation.

‘So are you going to play DnD with us?’ One of the younger members of his group with us and Eddie lets out a snort.

‘I don’t think that’s happening.’ Eddie laughs and you look over at him with a glare.

‘Why not? I bet I’d be great at it.’

‘It’s a really complicated game, it’s completely different from anything you’ve ever played.’

‘Oh, so you think I can’t learn. I’m going to prove you so wrong. I bet I can figure it out with any help from you.’ You were pretty defiant now, you didn’t like being told you couldn’t do something. You kept a playfulness in your tone, making sure Eddie knew you weren’t being a bitch and were just joking with him.

‘Fine, I’ll lend you my books.’ He sighs.

‘Oh good, you’ve already learnt not to defy me.’ You grin at him.

‘Believe me, if I hadn’t. I definitely would’ve this morning.’

‘I thought you said-‘

‘Y/N can we talk?’ You were cut off by a voice saying and you turned to see Chrissy standing near you.

‘Fine.’ You sigh, standing up and nodding your head for Chrissy to follow you to the edge of the cafeteria. You turn to face her with your arms crossed and she looks at you with big eyes.

‘Y/N I’m so sorry. I never should’ve told Jason who your soulmate was.’ She says with a genuine tone in her voice but you’re keeping your guard up, not trusting her.

‘Come on. You know I’d expected any of the other girls to stab me in the back but not you. I mean that hurt more than anything else.’ You frown at Chrissy who looks like she’s trying not to cry.

‘I turned down the head cheerleader position. I told them that the only person who deserves that position is you and that you were the only captain I’d support.’

‘Well, I appreciate that Chris but that doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t stand up for me at first. I’ve done so terrible things but you’re my best friend and I would’ve stood by you no matter what. If anyone had said half the shit they said about me about you, I’ve put them in the place.’ You told her the real reason you were angry at her. It was nothing to do with cheerleading but with her not being there by your side when you needed it the most. It was good that she stood up for you now, but yesterday was the worst day for you and you needed her by your side.

‘I know but I’m not like you. I mean what you did today I could never have done that. You’ve always been the brave one of the two of us and that’s what I’ve always admired you for.’ By now Chrissy has tears falling from her eyes and it did tug at your heartstrings. Despite how you felt you couldn’t just turn off feeling like she’s your best friend.

‘Look, Chris, I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. I wouldn’t want you to be ostracised because of me. But-‘

‘No, I want to be your friend. You’re my best friend and that’s more important to me than anything.’ She begged you.

‘Okay, well it’s going to take a while for me to forgive you, but I will eventually. I don’t think I could go without you in my life.’ She smiles and wraps her arms around you, squealing excitedly.

‘I promise, I’m going to be the best friend you’ve ever had.’ She tells you, practically beaming. ‘So can I come over and meet Eddie you know, now he’s your boyfriend?’

‘I wouldn’t say he’s my boyfriend yet but sure come on over.’ You lead Chrissy over to the table and Eddie’s friends looked even more terrified, probably from the fact that two cheerleaders were now at their table (well technically a cheerleader and ex-cheerleader).

‘So this is Chrissy, she’s my best friend.’ You point to her as she waves slightly at them.

‘You two made up then?’ Eddie asks and you nod.

‘Yeah, mostly.’ You tell him and he reaches over and squeezes your hand slightly. Maybe your life was different now but different didn’t have to mean bad.

Six Months Later

You finished stirring the coffee in front of you and headed through to the bedroom, placing it on the bedside table and sitting on the edge of the bed.

‘Eddie, babe, wake up.’ You shake him slightly and he groans, turning over and pulling the covers over his head. You had moved in with Eddie after your parents had lost their house, a few months ago and now you had a pretty well-established routine in the morning. You were attending classes at a local community college and Eddie was working as a mechanic. You also worked in the evenings in order to help out with bills and food, etc.

‘Ed, come on. You have to go to work and I need a ride to the train station. Plus, I’ve made you coffee.’ You bribe him and he peaks out from under the covers, his eyes half open.

‘Did you say coffee?’ He asked, his voice still husky from sleep. You nod and he sits up grabs the coffee from the bedside table and takes a sip. ‘Mmm, you’re an angel.’ You grin at his words, not that he didn’t regularly inform you how amazing you were. In fact, Eddie was the sweetest boyfriend you’d ever had. He was so kind and lovely.

‘Yeah and you need to get up, otherwise you’re going to be late to work.’ Eddie let out a groan.

‘Why? Can’t I just sleep in?’ You roll your eyes and stand up, grabbing Eddie’s brush and heading back over to Eddie, sweeping his hair so it was clean and pulling it into a bun at the nape of his neck.

‘There we go, that’s one less thing you have to do.’ You told him, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

‘Have I ever told you I love you?’ He smiles up at you as he throws off the covers and stands up, grabbing his clothes off the floor and stripping off his pyjamas before changing into his work clothes.

‘Is that my Metallica shirt?’ Eddie said squinting at the top you were wearing.

‘No, it’s mine.’ You frown as if you have no idea what he was talking about.

‘Really? You went to Metallica’s 1984 tour?’ He smirks at you grabbing the belt loops on your jeans and pulling you in close to him.

‘Yeah, I’m a big fan.’ You nod. It wasn’t technically a lie, you liked Metallica now, mainly cause Eddie played their music all the time.

‘And what songs did they play on this tour?’ He raises an eyebrow at you.

‘Master of Puppets, duh.’ You roll your eyes as if it’s obvious.

‘That song didn’t come out until 1986 but good try babe.’ He says leaning in to give you a kiss. ‘Lucky you look good in my clothes.’ He smiles at you.

‘I look good at anything.’ You scoff and head into the kitchen with Eddie following closely behind you.

‘Here’s lunch for you.’ You say handing him one of the sandwiches on the counter and shoving the other one into your back. ‘There’s food in the fridge for Wayne so I think we’re good to go.’ You swing your back over your shoulder and head out with Eddie.

You leaned at the counter at work, bored out of your mind. You had hardly any customers come in during your shift and you were thankful there were only 10 minutes left until Eddie came to pick you up. You heard the bell over the door ring and you looked up, happy to finally have a customer but you let out a loud squeal when you saw the person coming through the door was Chrissy.

‘Oh my god, I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow.’ You came out from behind the counter and gave her a big hug as she laughed hugging you back. You knew Chrissy was coming back to spend Thanksgiving with you, Eddie and Wayne but you didn’t expect her this early.

‘Yeah me and Eddie decided to surprise you by having me come back early because I’ve missed you so much.’ She pulls away from you, her friendship necklace dangling from her neck. You had taken back your matching one and it sat pride of place around your neck, alongside one of Eddie’s rings.

‘Aw, I’ve missed you too. Just let me close up here and then you can tell me everything including if you’ve met Mark yet.’ You say heading back behind the counter to start sorting everything out. In a shocking twist of fate, Chrissy’s soulmate hadn’t ended up being Jason but instead someone named Mark. Jason had of course been pissed, especially as his soulmate tattoo said, Chrissy. Chrissy had admitted to you that she’d felt relief that Jason wasn’t her soulmate and you had to admit you felt the same for your best friend.

You finished closing up and headed out to where Eddie was parked, smiling when he saw how excited you were.

‘How the hell did you keep that secret?’ You say climbing into the front seat as Chrissy climbed in the back.

‘I knew it was a good secret and it would make you happy, that’s how.’ He grinned over at you and you shook your head, leaning over and giving him a kiss.

‘Aww, it’s not fair how cute you guys are.’ Chrissy pouts and you laugh.

‘Don’t worry, it won’t be long until you meet your soulmate, I guarantee it.’ You smile at her.

‘And you were the one of us that always talked about how bullshit soulmates were.’ Chrissy smiled triumphantly as you rolled your eyes.

‘Well that was before I met my soulmate, now I understand it.’ You grin over at Eddie, before turning back to your best friend, thinking about how good your life was at that current moment.

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