#tori kelly i was made for loving you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forlix · 5 months

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‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 (besides myself)・l.f.

— you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

words・5.4k

pairing・lee felix x gn!reader

genres・babysitter!au, girldad!lix, nobody look at me, toothrotting fluff, more angst than originally intended tbh, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, happy ending yayyy, non-linear storyline

warnings・cousin has a korean name and experiences one (1) minor head bump, mc is temporarily heartbroken and experiences one (1) breakdown

playlist・house song by searows・glad by tori kelly・let's pretend by del water gap・you were good to me by jeremy zucker

a/n・hiiii my loves, i'm so unbelievably excited to bring u my first contribution to my and @astraystayyh's collaboration, "winter falls" ♡ every time i write for our ray of sunshine i'm reminded of how thankful i am to love him. this fic ruined me. hope it does the same to you (smile)

I. everything

“One day,” you muttered to the toddler sitting on your shoulders, “you’ll experience something deeply, irreversibly humbling, and I’ll be there to witness your downfall.”

Byeol responded to this with an unbothered babble. She then gathered two handfuls of your hair and yanked using far too much force to be biologically possible.

You folded like a lawn chair. “Mother—!”

Oh, that word was not suitable for button-sized ears.

“—oh, my dear mother, why? Why me?”

Technically speaking, your aunt should’ve been the target of your lamentations, but all she did was produce the child presently steering you around the kitchen like you were her own personal bumper car. Your own mother was the one who volunteered you to watch said child during the first weekend of your winter break. Only for an hour until the babysitter arrives, she’d said (raising her voice, so as to be heard over your groaning).

You adored Byeol. She made scarily accurate chipmunk sounds and possessed an immobilizing fear of grapes. She bust out a dance move before she took her first steps. The girl could have you floored with laughter without being able to say more than three words at a time. Still, this was far from how you imagined onsetting your desperately-needed few weeks off. Not to mention it was now half past three; your shift should’ve ended two minutes ago.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Byeol emitted an excited onomatopoeia like a golden retriever detecting the mailman. Your reaction wasn’t too far off; you swiveled your head in the sound’s direction, sang out “coming!” in a delighted vibrato, and twirled into the foyer, your hands around Byeol’s ankles anchoring her in place.

You cracked open the door and found yourself face-to-face with Byeol’s babysitter. The freckles scattered across his high cheekbones and sloping nose seemed to you like they were imprinted by the sun itself. His hair was dark, falling just shy of pitch black, and long, ending an inch or so below pierced ears. A few misbehaving strands rested over his forehead but did little to obstruct your view of his eyes: profoundly brown and pointed at either end, like poinsettia petals.

He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You felt your skin warm, your heart flip. You opened your mouth.

Then Byeol hit her head against the vertical edge of the front door, loud enough for it to echo.

The panic that seized you in that moment was truly unlike anything you’d experienced before. You caught one glimpse of the stranger’s expression (as mortified as you expected), and then you were seeing your own epitaph on the inside of your eyelids, engraved with the four words “Death by Furious Aunt.”

“Was that—?” The man sputtered, and his voice was rich and full and accented and just as breathtaking as the rest of him and holy fucking shit now was not the time.

“My fucking god,” you whispered, completely forgetting to watch your mouth. In a hurry, you swung Byeol off your shoulders and dropped to a knee. You leaned in close to examine her reddening forehead and cradled the plush of her cheek; she blinked at you a few times, fascinated by the sudden sight of your face again.

“You okay, Byeollie? That hurt a lot, didn’t it? I’m so, so sorr—”

Byeol started to laugh.

Not laugh as in those little chuckles she let out randomly, like there was something inherently amusing about the kitchen cupboard, but laugh as in a boisterous, resounding guffaw, like a great-uncle at a family gathering off one too many martinis.

This rendered you speechless for the second time in under a minute. Then, you lifted your other hand to cradle her other cheek, her face now sandwiched between your palms, and squeezed.

“I broke my cousin,” you whispered, your voice was so deathly serious that the man in the doorway had to stifle a laugh of his own.

His knee brushed against your shin as he sat down to your left, folding his legs into a criss-cross. You could discern notes of lavender and orange blossoms in the delicate cologne that clung to him, perforated the air and your mind both.

“Can I?” He asked.

“Please.”

Carefully, you shifted Byeol’s small frame towards him; the manner in which he accepted her was so smooth and practiced that there was no doubt in your mind you were watching a professional at work. He settled her on his right knee, then dipped his head to look her in the eye.

“Hi, princess,” he cooed with a dulcet smile. He curved his pointer finger, dusted it beneath her chin. “Why are you laughing, silly girl?”

Oh.

You might just continue your lineage after all.

“Y/N-ie,” she answered, still tittering.

He looked to you with a slight tilt to his head, and you nodded affirmatively. He murmured a quiet ah. “What about Y/N-ie?”

Somehow you sensed that she was about to embarrass you and pinched the bridge of your nose—in preparation.

“P-pretty.” I knew it!

The man let out the laugh he’d been holding back since earlier and tapped on her button nose, lowered his voice to a whisper that he knew you could hear.

“I agree.” His eye glinted playfully, matching his tone. “And so are you.” The bashful, high-pitched giggle she responded with sounded eerily similar to your inner monologue.

The two of you spent a little longer on the floor of the foyer making sure Byeol was okay, and then the girl upped and made a mad dash for the kitchen while yelling something about a horse, and if that didn’t confirm that she was completely fine (albeit incredibly strange) you didn’t know what would. You found her rolling around the carpet in the room adjacent to the kitchen and left her to her own devices while you and her babysitter fixed up a small fruit plate for her afternoon snack. No grapes, of course.

He told you he usually went by Felix, but that his Korean name was probably easier for Byeol to pronounce, with its easier consonants and whatnot. You asked which name he preferred, and he said either or. He was a recent college graduate, a year older than you, who was determined to spend at least the next two years doing nothing but working out his future. He accepted the part-time babysitting position to pick up some light cash in the process.

“And ‘cause I’m good with kids,” he added, splitting apart a tangerine. “So I’ve been told.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” you said, plating a couple blueberries. “You melted her earlier.”

“She melted me. She’s so cute. And you’re so cute with her—I didn’t realize I was robbing someone of their job.”

You turned your head to regard the tot and let out a helpless laugh. Byeol tired of being a human lint roller a few minutes ago and had since moved on to staring aimlessly out the window.

“She doesn’t take me seriously, and I can’t stay mad at her,” you mused. “I would be a nightmare as her babysitter, trust me. She’s all yours.”

Felix held out two overturned handfuls of tangerine slices, to which you quickly moved the platter across the counter. He didn’t respond to your comments as he placed them on the outermost edge so that they looked like rays of sun emanating from a multicolored core. Adorable.

“Will you be around much, then?”

You made eye contact with him across the counter. On his perfect face was a teasing smirk and a subtle blush. Ah, you’d been mistaken, writing off his silence as concentration—he’d been contemplating how to best flirt with you.

“Y’know. In case I need any help teaching her cuss words,” he appended.

It was then your turn to flush a couple shades darker. “Please don’t tell her mom.”

“I won’t, I won’t.” He walked around the perimeter of the counter until he was directly in front of you; the lavender and orange blossoms returned. “On one condition.”

Not even one hour on the job and he was already trying to blackmail you? You respected it. “Which is?”

As he shifted some of his weight onto the counter, something too shifted in his smile, giving it a quality that was every bit as hopeful as it was gentle.

It was then, while Lee Felix was looking at you like that, all dilated pupils and long lashes, when you predicted that he would one day break your heart. You predicted you’d let him.

“Be around,” he said simply.

It wasn’t a question or a demand. In hindsight, you think it was more akin to a birthday wish, ill-fated the moment it hit the air.

II. has changed

Felix pulled Byeol’s hood up and over her ears, and you realized he was right about the winter coat getting too small for her—she looked like a bowling pin. You muffled your snort into your scarf.

“And what was the last rule again?” He asked, his breath puffing into the frigid afternoon in tiny clouds. Byeol sighed like she knew anything of the world’s woes.

“No barking at other kids,” came the sad reply, but a toothy smile spread across her face anyways when Felix nudged the underside of her chin. She loved when he did that.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed. “I believe in you.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you said, and the wounded look Felix shot you was like you’d just confessed to hating kittens. “Come on—she doesn’t have a good track record. I’m allowed to have my doubts.”

“I dunno what that means,” Byeol announced with admirable frankness, and then turned around and scurried down the porch stairs, scattering fun-sized footprints across the snowy streets.

As you braced yourself to follow her, Felix stopped you with a slip of his hand into the pocket of your puffer. His fingers first aligned with yours inside the insulated nylon, then chased the spaces in between. He leaned in close, placed a kiss on the apple of your cheek, another on the corner of your mouth. This brought a helpless smile to your face, too. He had a way of melting you and Byeol both.

“It’ll be fine,” he soothed. “A little barking never hurt anybody, baby.”

“Lix, last time somebody called animal control.”

“Ermm—a little barking never hurt most people.”

That winter, Byeol was four, and your relationship with Felix was about to turn two.

Funnily enough, you’d never figured out when your anniversary actually was. Felix wagered it was the day you met, as he knew he loved you the instant he saw you; you insisted it was months later, since it took both of you an entire winter break of open-ended flirting and informal dating to label yourselves for real. Imagine your horror when he showed up outside your college apartment on the last day of your fall semester, arms overflowing with flowers and gift bags brimming with your favorite things, the phrase “happy anniversary” on his lips three months before you perceived it to be. You’ve celebrated both days ever since.

You loved the ocean growing up. You didn’t get to visit it often, but when you did you would run up to the water’s very edge so that your toes dipped into the cold—and just stand there, observing, absorbing, until even the seam of your lips and the ends of your eyelashes were studded with crystals of seasalt. You found endless tranquility in its rhythmic whispers and unspeakable comfort in its oscillating waves, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Your fascination stemmed from the folktale your mother used to read to you before bed, about a sun goddess creating the earth. In the story, every component of nature was one of the sun’s beloved children. She allegedly loved them all, but you suspected the ocean was her favorite; it was obvious, the way she twinkled off its ebbing surface, the way every minuscule spot of light looked to you like a handprint of hers, left behind by eons of endless doting.

Felix reminded you of the ocean. Every day you grew more certain that you wanted to drown in him, to let his resonant voice and kind eyes sweep and keep you inside his depths. It was never salt that he pressed into your skin but warmth, stamped and sealed with caring hands and cautious lips. His deep whispers promised eternal love and temporary ecstasy and everything in between. You knew he would come back to you even if stranded in a different realm. And there was no questioning the goddess’ favoritism, either. The freckles on his face mirrored the sun’s very spots like an homage to his creator.

You didn’t love the ocean growing up, no. You had never loved before Felix.

The park was busy when the three of you arrived. Byeol and Felix recognized a few families as your aunt’s neighbors and hurried over to say hello. Your social butterflies.

“I’ll be over there,” you called after them.

Felix stopped in his tracks, looked over his shoulder. It had started snowing lightly on your walk there, and snowflakes now sat atop his sable locks. He looked like a painting. “You okay?”

“Yes, yes.” You shooed them off. “Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.”

With that, you withdrew to the sidelines, an unoccupied swingset adjacent to a baseball diamond covered in frost.

Your baby cousin was brawny for her age, which you could’ve seen coming with how she was hauling at your hair two years ago, but even she couldn’t yet terrorize the playground without assistance. Who better to make her partner in crime than her favorite Bokkie? You couldn’t help but giggle as the two revolved around each other for the better part of an hour, Byeol’s smile colossal as she frolicked every which way, Felix’s smile worried but hopelessly endeared as he followed behind. He never let her leave his shadow. She never tried to.

It was there on those icy swings that you experienced a moment of strange clarity, like you’d broken the fourth wall of your own story. You could feel the winds of change blowing your hair across your shoulders. You were aware of time’s trickling from the gaps of your fingers like liquid mercury.

Your laughter dissipated to a bittersweet smile; your smile mellowed to dewy eyes. It seemed like just yesterday when Byeol was small enough to sit on your shoulders and Felix stepped into your kitchen for the first time. Now, she was scaling a rope ladder with the celerity of a crazed monkey while Felix hovered a wary hand by her waist. The muted sunlight caught on the silver rings he wore, particularly the thin, bright one on his middle finger. You had one just like it, adorning the same place.

The last two years were the happiest of your life. Why couldn’t you remember where they went?

Lavender and orange blossoms announced your boyfriend’s arrival—that, and the sigh of fatigue that he expelled as he dropped into the swing next to you.

“I’m not cut out for this anymore.”

Byeol’s neighbor had temporarily relieved Felix of his post by taking her and his son to test out the seesaw, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town could hear her enthusiastic shrieking.

“You know how people walk their dogs?” You mused. “Some dogs walk their people. She’s one of them.”

For a moment, he could only stare in disbelief at the grin creeping across your face; then, he groaned in a way that could only mean you were right on the money. You gave his thigh a sympathetic pat.

“You’re whipped, my love. It’s okay.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, suddenly perking up. “Hey, no barking though.”

“Are we considering that a win nowadays?”

“Do you see animal control anywhere?”

“Good point.”

Felix monitored your expression during the quiet interval that ensued—saw through the melancholy curve of your lips, the pensive slant of your gaze. There was a red tinge to the whites of your eyes that hadn’t been there before.

You saw him reach for you in your periphery. His fingers brushed a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, remained there for three slow heartbeats, and then lifted away.

“Angel,” he murmured. “Talk to me.”

You shook your head. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not.” Not even ten seconds after the last time, he reached for you again, now to take your hand and bring it to his lap. “You know it’s not.”

“It’s just that—”

Felix thumbed over the ridges of your knuckles, his touch so gentle that it could’ve unraveled a chrysalis; it certainly unraveled you. You took a stabilizing breath.

“I wish could recognize my own happiness in the moment,” you sighed, “not just in retrospect. That way, even when it comes to an end, I’d still be able to look back and say with confidence that I was happy once. I’d like that, I think.”

His brows knit together as he processed your words, and, the next thing you knew, he left his swing trembling in his sudden absence and his trenchcoat became a black blur in the cold air.

Felix rested his elbows atop your knees as he knelt in front of you, cradled your face in his hands. He was achingly beautiful always, but you truly felt your breath swiped from your lungs at the new proximity of his ethereal features: petal-shaped eyes, wind-bitten cheeks, coral cupid’s bow. A painting.

“That’s easy enough,” Felix hummed. “How do you feel right now?”

You had zero agency in the smile this brought to your face. You wrapped your hands around his wrists, your answer quick, thoughtless. “Happy.”

He pressed his lips to the space between your eyes. “And now?”

“Happier.”

He pressed his lips to the curve of your jaw. “What about now?”

“Even happier.”

His gaze flickered to his final destination, but you beat him to it, sealing your mouth against his with urgency. The kiss that followed was so intensely loving that your head went fuzzy. How was it that you felt his adoration for you even in his pliant lips, his velvet tongue? You ran your fingers through the part of his hair. You loved when you could feel the locks flutter back into place afterwards.

“GET A ROOM!”

You and Felix pulled away from one another, wearing matching expressions of bewilderment. Byeol was approximately five Newtons away from soaring off into the stratosphere, her legs jostling around as she clung to her seat for dear life. It seemed your neighbor had a very aggressive way of seesaw-maneuvering. It seemed your cousin had a very aggressive vocabulary.

“Where did she learn—?” The two of you began in unison, then shot your heads back towards each other.

“It had to be you.”

“Outrageous—you’re the Australian here!”

“You cuss like one too!”

“Because of you!”

“So we’re just lying now?”

“Well, yes.”

Felix cracked a smile—and then the two of you were dying of laughter, his right eye squinting closed and your forehead thudding onto his shoulder. You hardly managed to get out your next words. “We have to do something about her vernacular, don’t we?”

“Oh, badly,” he replied. “Badly.”

After you expended your giggles, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, blissful, glowing. “Thank you, baby.”

“What for?”

“Being my happiness.”

He angled your face back to his and kissed you once more, whispering I love you like it wasn’t enough that it graced your ears; he needed it embossed upon your flesh in permanent ink.

Your intermingled breaths floated up into the air like flare signals over a capsizing boat. Here marks the time we were happiest.

III. (besides myself)

He’s blonde.

That’s the first thing you notice when you see your ex-boyfriend on your aunt’s porch: the slightly off-white color of his silky tresses, grown out longer than you’ve ever seen, pushed off his forehead and tucked behind his ears.

It’s not the only thing you notice, of course. His face has thinned ever so slightly, the shadows thrown over his features by the streetlights behind him particularly opaque. His outfit is glorious, expensive, with the black blazer and white dress shirt, the top two buttons undone, the pendant of a silver necklace resting between toned collarbones. His hands are almost overflowing with what must be gifts for your family. It’s impossible to discern all of them from this distance, but you know the bouquet of white poinsettias is for your mom, the batch of brownies doused in sprinkles and icing for Byeol.

But the hair is where your gaze returns, because tucked among the platinum strands are black roots: millimeters of the color you grew to adore, peeking out as if trying to catch a glimpse of you, too.

You’re so occupied with this game of “I spy” that you don’t notice the rampant footsteps coming up behind you. Your six-year-old cousin collides with the back of your leg head-on and nearly topples you like a bowling pin.

“Is it him?” She asks breathlessly.

You come this close to berating her as you steady yourself against the wall—what did I say about treating human beings like couch cushions? But you look down to see her chin resting on the side of your thigh, her eager eyes shining so brightly that she puts her own namesake to shame. Your scolding tirade dissolves on your tongue like popping candy.

You simply sigh instead. “Yes, but—”

“BOKKIE!” She shrieks, and Felix’s head snap upwards at the sound of her voice. His tender smile melts some of the frost laminating your heart.

You crack open the door, making eye contact with Felix for the first time in six months.

“Put everything down. Quickly,” you whisper, and he obeys right away, alarmed by the urgency in your voice. A wise choice.

The last present has hardly touched down upon the wooden planks when Byeol wriggles through the doorway and charges towards Felix like an angered toro. He swivels at her bright holler of his name, lowers himself to a squat just barely in time to catch her in his embrace. The delighted laugh that leaves his mouth as he staggers backwards sounds like the sun itself; you feel lost in orbit hearing it again.

“Bokkie,” Byeol murmurs, her voice muffled in the dip of his shoulder, by the tightening of her arms around his neck.

“Hi, princess.” He kisses her temple, presses his nose against her hair. “Whoa, you’ve grown strong, haven’t you?”

“She takes taekwondo classes now,” you hum from above, and the shock in his face asks the very question that your poignant smile confirms. Yes, because of you.

Felix pulls away, cocoons her cheeks with cherishing hands. “Is that true?”

She bobs her head. “I want to be like Bokkie.”

And his eyes go impossibly, terribly soft, like he’s gazing at the horizon itself. The sight twists the knife in your gut and yanks on your tangled heartstrings. It’s all because of you.

“And kick some ass!” Byeol adds, knocking you out of your sentimental spiral. You clap a defeated hand to your forehead. Felix falls over himself. So much for fixing her vernacular.

A few minutes later, Byeol is pirouetting towards the kitchen with a couple of Felix’s smaller presents in her arms, all too happy to be of help. You linger behind as Felix takes off his shoes, your cousin’s departure leaving the two of you alone in the dim foyer.

Felix straightens. The two of you come face to face. The air hangs so heavily with unspoken words that you half expect it to start dripping.

“Hi,” he says.

You nearly laugh at the cruelty of it. The man you were certain you’d grow old with greeting you like you’ve been forced to sit next to each other on the first day of school.

“Hi,” you answer. “You look—”

The two of you say this last part in unison; old habits die hard.

“—nice,” you finish.

“—beautiful,” Felix breathes, his eyes flicking off to the side abashedly.

Your throat constricts, pulse quickens. Says you. If he was a painting before, you think he’s a sculpture now, his perfection as tangible as if hand-chiseled by the greatest artists of old. As clear as the sun’s beloved sea. You can’t tell if it’s his stylist’s doing or simply a product of him growing into himself.

“Thank you,” you reply quietly. “And thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t do it for me.”

No part of you wants to see the subtle wince that crosses his face at your statement, so you turn your gaze to his jewelry-laden hands instead.

For a split second, you swear you see the same promise ring settled in the same place on his middle finger. You realize what you’re really looking at only after blinking the phosphenes from your eyes: the thin tanline that it left behind. The realization fixes and destroys you all at once.

Then, Byeol starts wailing about Felix’s whereabouts like an actress hired to spare you from this very interaction.

“Her Highness beckons.” The smile you manage feels like drying cement. “Shall we?”

On your way to the kitchen, you notice the cologne emanating from his person smells only of citrus—no lavender. Its absence steadies you, deludes you into believing that it’s a stranger you’ve just let inside.

That illusion lasts for exactly three hours and forty-eight minutes.

It’s clear that the breakup has your family walking on eggshells, but it’s even clearer that their adoration for Felix has never wavered. You’ve never resigned yourself to the restroom so many times in one night, only to stand with your back against the door, unmoving, unfeeling, listening to the low thrum of his voice through the mahogany. Chatting comfortably with your aunt, bursting into laughter with Byeol, reminding you of the time you considered him family too.

With every glance you toss your reflection, you discover new cracks in your composure. Has he noticed them yet?

After you come out of the restroom for the sixth time, you notice a light spilling from Byeol’s bedroom into the hallway. A low Australian accent graces your ears, followed closely by a tinkling giggle, and your body nudges you towards the sounds before your head can intervene.

You give your cousin’s door a feather-light nudge. It opens a few centimeters more and grants you vision of Byeol tucked into bed, Felix knelt at her side. Both of their faces are illuminated by the flaxen light of the nearby lamp.

Felix brushes her choppy bangs out of her eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. “Can I tell you a secret, princess?”

This wrests from her another fluttering laugh; you swear he’s the only person in the whole world who makes her shy. “Sure!”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Promise.”

“Not even Snernard.”

“M’kay.”

“Or Bong.”

“M’kay.”

“Especially not Trash the chicken. I don’t trust him.”

“I know, I know, I won’t!” Byeol huffs, and Felix laughs at her outburst. You also snort into your sleeve, amused (and deeply perplexed) by your cousin’s plushie-naming conventions.

“Thank you,” he hums, and he lowers his voice enough that you don’t catch the next thing he says.

All you perceive is the way that Byeol reacts. She sits up straight in bed, resting her back against her pillow. Her features rearrange themselves slowly, awfully, like the spread of cherry-flavored cough syrup over one’s sore throat, into the furthest thing from her trademark too-big-for-her-face smile.

Your stomach plummets to your fucking ankle.

“Why?” Her voice sounds microscopic.

“Well, do you remember what Bokkie’s dream job is?”

Byeol considers for a moment. “Being a singer?”

“That’s right.” He runs a knuckle over the hill of her cheek, the action achingly familiar, immensely fond. “And I found a place where I can do that, but it’s very, very far away. I won’t be able to come home very often.”

The telltale signs appear as he speaks; the final word sets them into motion. A tear streaks down the side of Byeol’s face. It hardly leaves the corner of her eye before it’s being intercepted by a doting swipe of his thumb.

“No,” she replies.

“You've grown so much.” Another tear falls. He wipes away that one, too. “You’re growing so well.”

“No,” she repeats.

“You’ve stolen the light of every star in the sky already. The whole galaxy will be yours someday, sweetheart. I know it.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispers. “I want my Bokkie.”

His vision starts to blur also. “But you don’t need me anymore.”

“We do.”

You know the precise moment Felix’s heart pauses in his chest because it is when yours does too.

“We?” He repeats, and she nods.

“Your dream job is being a singer.” Now Byeol is the one to reach for Felix, her delicate hand cupping the curve of his cheek. Her fingers are too small to catch his tears, she tries anyways—

“But what is your dream?”

It becomes too much for you.

You turn around. A choked sob escapes from behind the hand you have sealed to your mouth, causing both heads inside Byeol’s room to whirl in your direction. You don’t care that you nearly break both of your ankles beelining up the stairs; you only care to get the fuck out of that hallway.

You topple into your room, close the door behind you, and crumble.

Your quivering hands find purchase around your folded legs; your eyes squeeze shut against your knees. Rivulets of tears cascade over your shuddering lips like ruptured barrels of wine, left in the cellars of your soul to age, to spoil.

You never wanted your grief to see the light of day. Pouring your regret over every sidewalk wouldn’t change the past. Splashing your heartache across every wall like the world’s most fucked-up mural wouldn’t alleviate the pain of losing him. He was the one who left, but you were the one who’d asked him to. Feeling, yearning, mourning. Those always seemed so futile.

But you’re not just crying in this moment, rocking back and forth on your bedroom floor; you’re bleeding, the wounds you never treated igniting all at once as if exposed to vinegar, leaving you writhing and gasping in their wake. How you wish they’d been able to heal sooner. Maybe then seeing Felix tonight wouldn’t have splintered your soul like dropped porcelain.

Your door clicks open. Your breath hitches in your throat with a quiet scratch. The gulp of oxygen you intake tastes of oranges.

Every night before you fall asleep, you still think of the last time you visited the sea. The cool sand chafing against your toes, the coarse winds slapping your hair against your face hard enough to sting. The weather was terrible (you neglected to check the forecast before making the drive), but when you stepped onto the embittered coastline, you took what felt like the first real breath of your young adulthood. The fog melded to your skin as if melting a blindfold away, showing you the world in its entirety.

You return to that beach when Felix pulls you into his chest, and there’s no fog this time. Just the faint smell of lavender and your ocean, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Feverishly, Felix presses his lips to your temple, the apple of your cheek, rests his forehead against yours. Brokenly, he utters, “it’s you.”

You can feel his shaking in every part of him: the tickling breath, the fluttering eyelashes, the unsteady hand that reaches into the pocket of his blazer. You graze your fingers over his jaw, an attempt to steady his careening heart, only to lose yours in the fray also when he produces a small red box of unmistakable dimensions.

“God, it’s you. It always has been, always will be. Anything can change except for this.” His voice disintegrates as he speaks. You disintegrate as you listen. “Everything has changed besides myself.”

Felix leans back in to pepper kisses across the expanse of your wet features, then brings himself to one fated knee. He flicks open the lid. You don’t even spare the ring a glance; you don’t doubt its perfection. All you care to look at is the love of your life, deliquesced to adoration and tearwater.

“Thank you for being around, my dream.” His soft smile tends to your scars like ambrosia. “Will you let me do the same?”

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend ・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp ♡

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laurenairay · 3 months

Text

hopeless hearts just passing through - J. Hughes

This my entry for @wyattjohnston’s low-key lovefest 2k24 prompt list challenge. I chose “stop making promises you aren’t going to keep” from the angst list and “you’re the only person I wanted to see tonight” from the fluff list.

Summary: Jack had messed up, again. Can he make it up to you this time, or is it too late?

Words: 2.9k

Warnings: light angst, Jack being a dumbass, some bad language, fluff

Title from: I was made for loving you, by Tori Kelly

Thursday 28th December

[7.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

[7.25pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

[8.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

“Hey Jack, guess you’ve forgotten our call. Again. By now you probably have other plans tonight? Just… please give me a call when you listen to this.”

Friday 29th December

Morning came without a phone call. You didn’t know whether you were surprised or not, if you were being honest – this wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten to call you while on the road like he promised he would. This time though it felt different. Maybe it was because the two of you had spent a wonderful happy Hannukah & Christmas together only days before that hurt you the most. Maybe it was just because you believed Jack when he promised. Either way, this time you couldn’t let it go – it was a matter of principle.

You made it through your entire morning routine, getting washed and dressed for work, eating breakfast, packing your lunch into your work bag, before your phone started to ring. Jack. You glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, wincing as you slipped into your shoes and grabbed your hooded coat, bag and keys on the way out the door. You weren’t going to be late, not for him.

“I’m on my way to work, I really can’t talk right now.”

You answered bluntly, pinning your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you put on your coat the moment you stepped into the elevator.

“I am so sorry baby.”

Really?

“That’s really all you have to say?” you snapped, picking your work bag up off the floor now that you’d zipped up your coat.

“What else can I say?”

You were stunned for a moment, lips parting. The nerve of this guy.

“Oh I don’t know, how about what you’re actually sorry for?” you said, the sarcasm in your voice barely hiding your anger.

You heard him huff out a breath, perfectly in time with the elevator doors opening on the ground floor of your apartment building.

“I’m sorry I missed our call. I know I promised to call you but I just totally forgot. The guys were all excited about a mario kart tournament and I really wanted Luke to finally get in on the action!”

“Please don’t blame your brother for your mistakes.”

Jack inhaled sharply over the phone. You could almost picture his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of something to say, just as he usually did in person, so you just waited for him to speak as you trudged down the street to your usual bus stop.

“I’m sorry. For blaming Luke and for upsetting you. It won’t happen again, baby, I promise.”

Yeah, okay. As if that was the first time he’d said that.

“Stop making promises you aren’t going to keep,” you said sharply.

Jack was silent for a moment or two.

“What do you mean?”

His voice sounded so small, so quiet, like he finalised realised the depth of how badly he’d screwed up. Good.

“You know what I mean, Jack. I’m not asking for the world – I know your team will always be priority. I’m just getting sick of never even crossing your mind at all. Even a text to say a mario kart tournament had started last minute would’ve been better than being fucking ghosted by my own boyfriend,” you groaned.

Thankfully there was no-one else at the bus stop to hear your cursing.

“Baby, please, I can do better. I will do better.”

He was clearly panicking, voice full of desperation with whatever he was reading from your own voice. But you just sighed, not really sure what to say because this wasn’t the first time so would it really be the last? Could you really believe him?

Before you could think of an answer to his pleading, your bus came into view as it turned the corner onto your road. Clearly this was a sign.

“I have to go, my bus is here,” you said softly.

“No baby, wait please, I-”

You ended the call without letting him finish, already feeling a headache coming on as the anger washed out of you. This was the last thing you needed after the heartache of last night – his panicked pleading. It wouldn’t help his case when he was so far away, not when you were this frustrated with him. The best thing for you to do, rather than tumbling into saying something you would regret, would be to give yourself some space, some breathing room.

Something that Jack clearly didn’t agree with as he immediately called your phone again.

Thankfully the bus pulled up right at that moment, so you felt justified in ignoring him, slipping your phone into your pocket as you flashed the driver your bus pass, focusing on finding a seat for your commute.

It was all you could do to keep your face neutral, trying to ignore the overwhelmed tears stinging at your eyes as your phone continued to buzz for most of your journey.

As you suspected, your morning at work was terrible. Not only did your mild headache turn into a fully formed one, but you were clearly giving off ‘leave me alone’ vibes because your colleagues steered clear, leaving you to stew in your emotions in peace. Not even a walk outside during your lunch break did any good – you still had a headache, the food you packed was so-so, and you had three emails to deal with that were really not your problem.

Didn’t people know that sending emails between Christmas and New Year was pointless?

“Hey, you’ve got a delivery.”

You jerked your head up from your computer to see your office receptionist standing next to you with a gigantic bouquet of flowers – white and pink roses, to be precise, around three dozen. What the hell?

“Uh, thanks,” you murmured, forcing a quick smile as she passed the bouquet over.

You tried desperately to ignore the whispers and stares around you as you spotted a card. Really you knew there was only one person who would send you flowers, but you still opened the small envelope with shaking hands anyway.

‘I’m sorry. Jack xx’

A simple message but it still made your heart ache.

That, and it made your lingering headache pound more. This was so typical Jack, wanting to do some sort of grand gesture which in technicality was very sweet but also so not what you needed right now. You didn’t need the reminder that things were shaky between you two. You didn’t need the stares and attention from your colleagues, all of them now knowing that something was wrong from your reaction. And you didn’t need to carry the bouquet home on the bus with you, the unresolved tension between you and Jack hanging over you like an axe.

Or, well, like a bouquet of 36 flowers, bigger than your head.

“Oh honey, what did he do?”

You winced at the pitying voice of your colleague, smiling sadly as you shook your head.

“I’d really rather not talk about it,” you said softly.

She nodded, smiling sadly back.

“Well if you change your mind, message me and we’ll go for coffee,” she said, voice quiet, trying to give you a modicum of privacy.

You just nodded, thanking her quietly in response, and she left with a squeeze of your shoulder. She meant well, you knew she did, and hopefully this interaction would stop anyone else (especially those who loved to stir drama) from approaching you too.

It was all you could do to put the flowers on the side of your desk, trying to ignore everything they represented. You had work to do – thinking about Jack right now was not going to do you any good.

When your phone buzzed a couple of hours later though, you still read the messages that Jack sent, one after another coming in.

[3.22pm]

From: Jack I got an email saying the flowers had been delivered. I chose white and pink roses to symbolise how much I love you and my loyalty and how sorry I am. I know that I messed up and I understand why you’re upset with me. But please give me a second chance?

He'd looked up flower symbolism. He specifically chose white and pink roses because of their meaning. What were you supposed to do with something so romantic when you were this frustrated with him?

Fuck.

With a sigh you pulled up the Devils schedule on your phone, confirming the date in your mind that he’d be back from his roadtrip. He was still in Ottawa today and then Boston tomorrow…but he would be back on New Year’s Eve. You could work with that.

[3.35pm]

To: Jack The flowers are beautiful. Thank you. I am still upset with you, but I will hear you out. If you want to talk, come to mine on NYE. I have no plans.

The two of you hadn’t discussed any parties or plans at all for New Year’s Eve, even though you had assumed Jack would’ve dragged you somewhere in the end. But this was better. You needed time alone with him because there was no way you could face him for the first time after all this while surrounded by other people. Putting the ball in his court was the only way to keep your sanity at this point.

With another sigh you put your phone down, raking a hand through your hair as your eyes lingered on the colourful blooms on your desk. They really were beautiful.

You weren’t surprised when it took mere minutes before your phone buzzed again.

[3.37pm]

From: Jack I’ll be there. I promise.

Saturday 30th December

[11.15pm]

To: Jack Sorry about the loss. You’ll get the Bruins next time.

[11.20pm]

From: Jack Thanks ❤️

Sunday 31st December

You hadn’t spoken to Jack since texting him after yesterday’s defeat. Mostly because you knew he was travelling, but also because you knew that him coming over to yours tonight was when you really needed to speak.

For some reason you were a little nervous. You didn’t know what it was really that had you furiously cleaning your apartment, but those fizzing bubbles ran all through your body the whole day. It didn’t help that you had no idea what time Jack would come over. Assuming he was still coming over, that was. No, he had promised, and he knew how you felt about promises. At least you hoped he had learned his lesson on how you felt because you weren’t sure of how much more you could take.

Tonight had to be your deciding factor on protecting your heart, you knew that much.

When you’d scrubbed and rearranged and hoovered all that you could, you showered and dressed up in a comfortable black velvet tea dress, curled your hair and put on a little make-up before putting some wine in the fridge to chill. It was New Year’s Eve after all, and you knew that if Jack didn’t turn up by 9pm, your friends had insisted that you go over to theirs to celebrate the new year together. It felt good to know that you had a safety net because if Jack didn’t show tonight? You were done. And you knew you’d need the support of your friends to get you through.

Fuck.

You really hoped he showed up.

When it got to 6pm, you put some soft music on, hoping to drown out the silence of your apartment, feeling like an idiot for just sitting around waiting for him. What if he didn’t show up? What if he let you down again? What if this was the end of your relationship? What if…

Bzzzzz

The buzzer for your apartment crashed through your swirling thoughts and you quickly jumped to your feet, cheeks heating with how ridiculous you felt.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Can you let me up?”

Jack. He came.

You didn’t answer, just pressed the button to let him in, trying to keep yourself calm as you paced to and forth while you waited for him to take the elevator up to your apartment. In all reality it didn’t take long, but after the last few days it felt like a lifetime.

“Hey.”

You huffed out a laugh at your awkward greetings, stepping aside to let him in.

“Thanks, uh, for inviting me over,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Wasn’t sure what time you would come. Or what you were doing tonight,” you murmured, shutting the door behind him.

Jack groaned, walking further into your apartment, you following silently. “I should’ve texted. Fuck, I should’ve told you exactly what time I was coming over, but I got so caught up trying to find the right thing to wear and dropping Luke off early at Nico’s and…”

Oh bless his heart. He was going straight into it then.

His rant trailed off as you pressed a finger to his lips, responding to your amused smile with a shy one of his own.

“You look great, Jack – you always do,” you said simply, dropping your hand back to your side, “But I actually meant if you had other plans around this like parties you were going to go to.”

Jack immediately shook his head, face more serious than you’d ever seen it.

“You’re the only person I wanted to see tonight,” he said firmly.

Oh fuck. Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, Jack taking the chance to hold both of your hands.

“I messed up. I know I messed up. I haven’t been treating you with the respect you deserve and missing even one call with you without letting you know why is unacceptable…”

Wow. This was far more than you had ever expected from him, and your heart ached with the emotion he was putting into his thoughts. Maybe he’d rehearsed this with Luke, maybe he was winging it, but you could tell in his eyes that he meant every word. He was right – you hadn’t been respected like you deserve. Could he really turn himself around though?

“…I really am sorry, baby. I love you so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. Please, will you forgive me?”

The confidence in his voice wavered a little, voice cracking with the emotion of his words, and you felt a pang radiate through your chest. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable before. Maybe you needed to see it.

As you formed your thoughts, you kept your hands in his, squeezing to let him know you were processing so he didn’t panic or shut down. That was the last thing you wanted or needed. This was a lot, and it was important that you said what you really meant.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting to dive straight into this.”

Jack winced slightly, lips parting, but you shook your head. No, it was your turn now.

“You really hurt me, Jack. I appreciate that you understand that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I was hurt. I don’t ask for much and you couldn’t even give me the bare minimum,” you started.

The whimper that escaped from his throat just about broke your heart, but you barrelled on.

“I deserve more. I deserve better. I deserve respect, you’re right. I just…I really hope you’re the one that can give that to me,” you said softly.

As your words sunk in, a hopeful smile quickly spread across his face.

“I get a second chance?” he grinned, making you huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, Jack, you do. But you won’t get a third. I don’t like feeling like I don’t matter and you can’t do that again,” you said, hoping he understood how serious you were.

Jack nodded, squeezing your hands.

“I won’t let you down, baby. I almost lost you once by being a careless asshole, I won’t lose you again,” he said, smiling.

Oh how that smile gave you butterflies.

“I love you,” he said again.

It didn’t matter how long you’d been together or how many times he said it – hearing those words fall from his lips made your heart race every single time.

“I love you too,” you said, finally smiling back.

Jack whooped, throwing his head back in celebration, making you burst out in laughter, even more so as he dropped your hands to wrap his arms around your waist, picking you up to spin around in a circle. Ridiculous, ridiculous man.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You just clutched at his shoulders as he murmured the words over and over again in your ear, hoping that this time, his words would be true.

#my writing #jack hughes fic #lowkey lovefest 2k24 #jack hughes fanfic #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine

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viviennevermillion · 10 months

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ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴄᴀʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴀɴᴅ...

❝ I was made for loving you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through; every bone screaming, I don't know what we should do ❞ — tori kelly

prompt: affection they crave but don't dare to ask for

character included: ei, wanderer, pantalone, baizhu

contains: character x gn!reader, established relationship

warnings: descriptions of suffering and chronic illness in baizhu's part

✧ holding your hand — Ei is touch starved after the centuries she has spent locking herself away in the Plane of Euthymia. She's used to people respecting her and even fearing her, but few actually treat her as an equal. How could they after all? She was an archon and she had ruled Inazuma with an iron fist for quite a while. So something as simple as you taking her hand into yours just as she remembers her friends doing ages ago.... it's hardly something self-evident to her. She has a lot to learn about how the world has changed during her absence. Sometimes she may be confused or have this serious, slightly intimidating look on her face. Nothing better in this moment than her beloved taking her hand, which instantly brings a smile to her face. Ei doesn't ask you to hold her hand, she doesn't want to come off as clingy, but everytime the two of you are out on a date she's silently hoping you'll do this small gesture again that makes her heart skip a beat.

✧ leaning your forehead against hers — Even an archon like the Raiden Shogun is not without troubles. Quite on the contrary, Ei has a lot of them after all that has happened. When her doubts and grief creep up on her, a gesture such as leaning your forehead against hers is like a silent promise to her that you'll be there even as the storm rages on in her mind. Your touch is soothing to her restless soul and as she feels your kindness and the extent of your love, she understands what it means to find her beloved eternity in something as simple as a fleeting moment with you.

✧ kissing her neck — Ei, when she appears in public, represents eternity both as an archon and a person. She's solid and radiates an aura of untouchability. Who could have thought that someone as her was incredibly ticklish? She likes the sensation of your lips against her neck, but it also tickles her sensitive skin, so you can hear a giggle escaping her that you might not have heard otherwise. If you're planning to tease her and fool around, a giggle might turn into a hearty laugh. You'd be sure to earn the respect of Inazuma's citizens if they were to learn that you could draw a laugh like that out of the woman who once watched these lands with such a cold gaze.

✧ letting her rest her head on your shoulder — Ei doesn't technically need to sleep. But the duties of the Shogun can be quite taxing. As such, she appreciates the opportunity to wind down in your presence and take some deep breaths after a stressful day. You can always tell when she's tired. She tends to close her eyes and let the cool wind hit her face. If you offer her to rest her head on your shoulder, she'll happily take you up on it. She'll keep her eyes shut, enjoying the closeness to you as she mumbles a quiet "thank you". She loves to sit idly like this for a while, simply relishing in the love you give her each day.

✧ sharing things with her — There's just something so intimate about doing things together and sharing what you enjoy with each other. At first, Ei found the idea of sharing a can of dango milk with two straws or an ice cream cup a little silly, not understanding how it could be any different from each of you getting your own food and drinks, but after trying it she really felt like she bonded with you over it.

✧ letting him sit on your lap — This is something he would never ask for over his dead body unless you tease the hell out of him repeatedly but he's been thinking about it ever since getting together with you. He's all too familiar with bickering and pushing you away, even when he doesn't want to; because he's scared of what would become of him; were he to face another devastating betrayal. He craves your affection but he spends his days waiting.... yearning for it. For how foolish would it look if you were to mock him and abandon him for craving something as cheesy and human as this? So he pushes down his feelings and just settles for whatever affection you decide to give him. Until one day there's no seating spot left for him and you grab his waist, gently pulling him onto your lap. You had no idea up to that point that your lover was capable of blushing. But he's silent and doesn't dare to move, lest you might push him off with a joking comment. As you pull him closer to your chest, he relaxes into your embrace and closes his eyes. Your lips find the soft skin of his neck and place a couple of appreciative kisses on it. Wanderer lets out a relaxed sigh and turns his head to you to press a kiss to your lips. "You seem to enjoy this", you remarked with a smile on your face. "I'm simply making sure you don't cry about not getting enough affection later. That'd be a bother", he huffs and you can't help but let out a chuckle, knowing him well enough by now to see through his facade. You make a note to do this more often.

✧ playing with his hair — This one is in your favor because he has really, really soft hair. You don't even remember when it happened but at some point, laying his head in your lap and letting you card your fingers through the dark strands has become his way of unwinding after a long day. He loved the experience of finally feeling safe and cared for in someone else's presence after he had been surrounded by people he was more than justified to distrust for the past centuries. Your touch was soothing, like a gentle breeze inviting him to a place far away from his troubles and doubts. Never did Wanderer believe that anything in his life could be considered "a blessing from the gods", but with you? Well, he wouldn't be surprised. Or maybe it was simply what you were like; giving your love to him in this often cold and cruel world without expecting anything in return; your care for him blossoming and persisting in this reality despite all odds.

✧ squeezing his thigh — He loves when you do this, whether it be when you have to get up and leave to attend some business or whether it's in reassurance; despite how he'd claim that he doesn't need your support and encouragement about anything. He'd feel much more lost without it. He also enjoys simply having you rest your hand on his thigh while you're sitting idly on the couch or a picnic blanket, each of you tending to your own matters and interests but always enjoying being together like this. It reminds him that you're there, something he needs when the thoughts of his past and the uncertainty about his future start to creep up on him.

✧ kissing his shoulders — He's very weak for this. He has no idea what the point was; for a puppet to have any sensitive spots. Wouldn't he have been more efficient if he could feel no affection or pain? After all, wouldn't life have been less hurtful like this? But in those moments; feeling your lips trail soft kisses along his shoulders; he was, for the first time, glad that he was like that. He closes his eyes and focuses solely on the pleasant tickle your pecks left on his skin.

✧ holding him in your arms — Pantalone may seem like a cold and serious business man on the outside, but he can't fool his beloved. That man is a hopeless romantic once you get him to trust you and he's clingy as hell. He's a little spoon and he loves when you hold him in your arms after a long day of work that you sometimes even have to coax him away from. He'll rest his head against your chest as you do him the favor of gently removing his glasses that he forgot he even still had on because of how tired he was. He lets out a happy sigh as you run your fingers through his dark locks and press a kiss to his forehead. He may not ask you to do this, but he always makes sure to express his gratitude to you for the love you give him. "Thank you for always taking care of me like this, my dearest", he mumbles and nuzzles your neck, "and getting me to sleep on time... I had no idea it was already midnight." He let out of chuckle and you shake your head with a disappointed sigh. Not a week went by where you didn't find him nodding off at his desk at least once; struggling to keep his eyes open and accidentally misspelling or repeating words on the report drafts he made. "You need to take some more time off", you whisper, gently caressing his cheeks. "The work of a Fatui Harbinger is tedious", he simply states. But if you could convince him to take breaks and get enough rest with your love and affection? Well, that was enough for now.

✧ listing the reasons you love him — This is something he needs from time to time. He vividly remembers his youth where he used to search for coins in the streets to buy himself a meal and was politely told to exit restaurants as his shabby looks might have a negative impact on the establishments' reputation if wealthy customers saw him like this, sitting alone at the table with half a meal because that was all he could afford. His popularity and desirability skyrocketed when he became a wealthy business man and the 9th harbinger. What could you love about him, if not his material possessions? There are moment, especially in the beginning of the relationship, where nothing helps him get over his doubts more than you holding him close and reminding him of how beautiful he was in your eyes; how you'd love him with every fiber of your being even if he had not a single coin to spare. That you adored how thoughtful, intelligent, ambitious and passionate he was. You loved the light-hearted moments in which Pantalone would joke around with you and attempt to tease you; as well as the quiet nights where he just couldn't help but to kiss you over and over again because his love for you was too much to just keep in his heart. You felt the same. That's why you let him know how much he means to you and all the little things you've grown to love about him.

✧ shoulder massages — He needs those because he has so much muscle tension, you weren't sure how his back didn't hurt every minute of the day. There's few things Pantalone appreciates more than having you massage his shoulders and help his muscles relax when he pulls what you had come to refer to as another "desk work marathon". Again, he doesn't ask for this but he makes sure to thank you, interrupting his work for a moment to give you a loving kiss and look into your eyes as he tells you that he loves you.

✧ holding his hand when he's sick — We all know Baizhu has some days where his ailment gets so bad that he has to stay in bed and can't go to work. It took him a long, long time to even let you see him during those moments of weakness. Usually he'd just lock himself in his bedroom with only Changsheng for company as he tried to get through his pain on his own. After all, to him, it seemed as though it probably would be burden enough for you to love a man you knew was slowly dying. You didn't need to see him suffer like this. Only after you insisted several times that you want to be there for him when he has a bad day; that it would worry you way less if you could support him and comfort him; he let you in. Baizhu feels bad for relying on your help when he's in this state, but simultaneously your presence soon becomes a remedy he wouldn't want to miss out on. When the pain makes his whole body sore and the dizziness and nausea makes him feel like he's never going to get up again and the temperature of his body feels as though the gods of cryo and pyro were having a brutal war in his quarters; there's also, through all the hurt, the feeling of your hand holding his. The sound of your voice reassuring him that he was going to be okay and that you were right there with him. "Just focus on my hand", you tell him with a gentle voice as you run your fingertips over his palm as you see him shiver in the bed next to you. "I'm sorry that-", he croaks out but you interrupt him. "There's nothing you need to apologize for, my love", you reassure him and press a kiss to his forehead.

✧ helping him during bad days — Similarly, it also takes Baizhu a while to warm up to the idea of letting you assist him when he's feeling sick; be it making him tea or soup, taking care of some of his documents or wrapping his calves in wet cloths to help with the fever. You can only shake your head upon learning that he used to try and do these things himself while in this state. Changsheng is more than grateful that she doesn't have to fuss over the doctor as much as she used to now that you're here. Despite his initial protests, Baizhu has to admit that getting through one of those days had become way easier with someone around who actually had arms. Changsheng could try to ease his pain and comfort him with words but carrying a plate of soup was outside of the realm of possibility for the white snake.

✧ braiding his hair — As much as you love to see your lover with his hair down, there's many situations in his profession where a braid is more hygienic and comfortable to have. So he appreciates just being able to relax and talk with you about anything that crosses your minds while you braid his hair. If you keep commenting on how soft it is and how beautiful you think Baizhu is, you're sure to get a blush out of the physician. "You're adorable when you're flustered", you tease and Baizhu is glad that you're braiding his hair so he doesn't have to make eye contact with you. Oftentimes, doing this will have you press a kiss or two to his neck to remind him of your love for him while you tend to his long hair.

✧ deep and loving kisses — Baizhu loves when you take the initiative and just hold him in your arms while kissing him slowly and repeatedly. He appreciates to just be able to forget about his quest for immortality and his illness like this for a while, simply focusing on the feeling of your lips on his and your tongue circling around his, pouring all your love for him into the gesture and mumbling a quiet "I love you" in-between them. He knew very well that humans had a habit of living fast and the days going by faster than you'd think they would, so he adores just being able to indulge you and focus on your touch as if time had frozen for just a moment. He lets you pull him into another kiss as many times as you like to, simply grateful to be loved like this by someone he treasures as much as you.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #baizhu x reader #baizhu x you #pantalone x reader #pantalone x you #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #ei x reader #raiden shogun x reader #raiden ei x reader #raiden shogun #raiden ei #pantalone #scaramouche #baizhu

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lvlyynim · 1 year

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hugging hyuck is like hugging a fluffy 5’7 walking teddy bear. the minute you walk into the shared apartment, you’re engulfed in his arms. every bit of exhaustion and worrying thoughts melted away as soon as hyuck wrap his arms around you.

nothing better than waking up in his arms. entrapped in his arms, keeping you warm and safe. his face snuggled cutely on your chest as you played with his hair, soothing his back with your other hand. sometimes it’s the other way around.

peacefully cooking dinner in the kitchen when hyuck came up behind and hugged you. resting his head on your shoulder, you giggled as he slowly swayed your bodies to “solitude” by billie holiday.

“you know for a girlfriend, you’re very wifey material” you giggled again.

“oh yeah? who’s wife?” “mine.” “buy me a ring and i’ll think about it” “alright bet”

insists you wear his hoodie/jacket when you have separate classes. his excuse being you get cold easily and no boyfriend would let his girlfriend be cold. his ulterior motive being he loves seeing you in his clothes also subtly lets people know you’re off limits.

the amount of playful banter you’d have with this man. anything and everything is a topic of debate. before things gets too heated, he’d always engulf you and pamper you with kisses, admitting his defeat. “alright alright you win okay love?”

makes everything a competition. the type to scream “last one to make it to the car pays for dinner!” then proceeds to push you and runs. leaning cockily against the car, he’s with a salty look on your face. “YOU PUSHED ME THATS NOT FAIR!” “it’s not my fault you have short legs”

before when you and him were just getting to know each other for the first time, he made a playlist dedicated to the songs he’s reminded of you. he knew he was getting way ahead of himself but whenever you two spent time together, random song lyrics would echo thru his brain. one of the songs were “i was made for loving you” by tori kelly and ed sheeran, which was his favourite.

see you wouldn’t have known this if he hadn’t confessed to you in a drunken stupor. hell he even unlocked his phone and showed it to you before laying his head on your lap.

the aftermath of his drunken confession was you teasing him in the morning as his cheeks heat up. suddenly he remembered last night’s events, you had kissed him. he could still feel the ghost of your lips, so sweet, so soft and intoxicating.

“you kissed me last night, didn’t you?” he asked as he wrapped his hands around you from behind, cockiness dripping in his tone. you shrugged, “maybe i did, maybe i didn’t” hyuck turned you around and immediately pulled you into a slow kiss. instinctively, your arms circled his neck while his linked around your waist, not leaving a gap of air between your bodies. you sighed against his mouth before forced himself to pull away.

“been waiting all night to do that”

#feeding my haechan brainrot with dis.#i want my own lee haechan pls #sadly santa didnt leave haechan under my christmas tree #nct dream haechan #lee haechan #lee haechan imagines #haechan smut #haechan fluff #lee donghyuk x reader #lee donghyuck #lvlyworks

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ninjigma · 11 months

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DinLuke Week Part 5/7 - Previous / First / Next

Day 5: Courting Gifts Track: 'I Was Made For Loving You' - Tori Kelly, Ed Sheeran (Spotify / YouTube)

Wasn't sure exactly how to depict this one, but just a soft moment right after giving the gifts seemed to work :) Just some small things for them each to carry, that can be hidden when needed and held close when needed more. Because what can say courting more then exchanging symbols for your heart?

@dinlukeweek

#courting gifts #the kyper is the heart of the saber #and the iron heart is pretty on the nose but still #heart of beskar just for him #it's love your honor #not as proud of this one but still happy with it :)#dinluke week 2023 #luke skywalker #din dijarn #dinluke #lukedin #din x luke #star wars #the mandalorian #fanart #my art

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whateverisbeautiful · 30 days

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you know I had to pick songs that remind me of richonne in some way :) thanks for the tag @sarcasmchandlerbing 💗

W - We Belong Together by Mariah Carey

H - Here I Stand by Usher

A - As It Was by Hozier

T - Til Kingdom Come by Coldplay

E - Enchantment by Corinne Bailey Rae

V - Very Special by Debra Laws

E - End of Time by Beyoncé

R - Rule The World by Take That

I - I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran

S - Some Unholy War (Down Tempo) by Amy Winehouse

B - Blue Ocean Floor by Justin Timberlake

E - Every Kind Of Way by H.E.R.

A - A Long Walk by Jill Scott

U - Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready) by Alicia Keys

T - Treasure by Bruno Mars

I - I Need You Tonight by James Morrison

F - For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder

U - U Move, I Move by John Legend & Jhené Aiko

L - Little Bit More by Jidenna (shoutout @ririchonne making me realize this song has big Say Yes energy 😊)

rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people (if you want to 💕)

@conquerwarrior @givesupp @minitelsoleil @ririchonne @babydollyparton @richonnelvr218 @can08writer @glowysweetfab @yellehughes @sophiasown @msjrichonne @wontlasttwodays @ginblanco-77stuff @mylifesasafangirl @tinuvielstrider9 @dmightykatana @rpz127 @michonneswig @lazyexceptwhencooking

#richonne #tag game #tumblr #🎶Richonne playlist #rick x michonne

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cloveroctobers · 8 months

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SHELTER — E.BUCKLEY | sept. prompts !

A/N: okay I failed myself in saying I wouldn’t fall victim to being in love with Buck…sorry Eddie. I also did say I was going to write for Eddie too in my other sept. prompt but when you do dives on tiktok they always provide the tea/controversy so idk rn lol maybe,,,maybe not! if you catch my drift—it’s giving thee ick. Anyways here’s some fluff! I’ve been binge-watching the show for awhile now ( I occasionally watched it from time to time when it was live on tv) from the beginning and I’m currently half way through season five and don’t want to get to season six just yet since who knows when the next season will be. I’m looking at you companies who feel like it’s okay to take advantage of people :) 🖕🏾

Prompts are from here + I’m using: 22.) Misty morning at the beach + 23.) Cold night cuddles + 29.) Rain storm

WARNINGS: mentions of mental health + hints of SAD, mentions of cults, mentions of death, slight language, protectiveness + fluff.

*GIF AND PHOTO DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

there was something about September’s that never sat right with Amaryllis, “Lissy.” It always brought nothing but gloom along with dread to her entire being and perhaps it had to do with her upbringing (was it the fact that her father was also born in September?) that set the chemicals off in her brain; even if she didn’t intentionally think about it. It always happened around this time but Lissy knew what it was physically but learned to push it away especially when the disappearance of Maddie came to surface.

And when she returned to Buck’s place spotting the purple bruise that took up a good portion of his eye, she also stuffed this dull feeling further away although it almost always still lingered no matter how much she shooed it away. When she witnessed the harm done to Buck, her instinct was to immediately go after the person who gave that to Buck. Her gut feeling was telling her that this didn’t come from work, of course it could have (being a old fire fighter herself) if things went left on the job but Lissy’s seen enough wounds in her life to know this was blunt force inflicted by someone else.

Her fiancé couldn’t lie for anything, trying his best to dodge her brown eyes and move around the house but once someone brought anguish to her man, a fire bubbled in her chest. She was always ready to protect despite knowing Buck’s impulsive behavior, she was already pointing the finger at someone else. Until she learned it came from Chimney, which made her stand frozen at the top of the steps that led to Buck’s bedroom.

“I’m sorry, who?” Lissy had her eyes in slits, making sure what she heard was right.

Buck peered down at his folded hands as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, “It was Chimney, okay? He found out that I knew more than he did about Maddie and he didn’t take it so well.”

“…I understand being frustrated but taking it out on you is not okay.”

Buck held his head down as he whispered, “Maybe I should have been more vocal about what Maddie was going through…then maybe just maybe my sister would be here right now.”

Lissy bit down on her bottom lip harshly. She also knew about Maddie’s mishap with Jee-Yun when Buck told her one night—just venting and she didn’t say anything to Chimney either, her concern was also just trying to talk to Maddie and check in with her but unfortunately that was not enough. If Chimney knew this would he have taken his anger out on Lissy too? Regardless Lissy was the type of person to always have her guard up with a smile yet she was also good friends with Chimney, he was a great friend but she wouldn’t lie and say she also wasn’t pissed with him right now.

She was just itching to call him up or pull up on him to give him a piece of her mind too. Lissy knew what mountains of pain can do to you and sometimes you don’t react the way that you should, which is why she tried her best to swallow her anger so that she could comfort the man she gets to call her husband some day.

“We don’t know that,” Lissy starts as she steps to Buck to grip his warm face, “because Maddie is going through a dark space and she wants to figure it out on her own, without us, when she doesn’t have to but felt like that was her best option for her and Jee. Sure we absolutely could have mentioned it to Chimney but Maddie is always going to seek help the best way she knows how. That’s just how she is, we know that and it’s not any of our faults or her’s. Life is hard sometimes…even harder when your head is against you opposed to your heart…and I’ll forever stand by the fact that you did not deserve what Howard did. You hear me?”

Buck wouldn’t meet Lissy’s ink colored eyes but she fought to catch his and when his fresh spring rain colored ones met her’s, he held her stare. Her eyes swam with so much determination and care, although he didn’t necessarily believe or agree with what the woman with the simmering auburn hair was saying to him in this moment, he felt how sincere her words were.

She was always going to be by his side, much like his big sister was, even if it was at a distance for a split time.

Maddie’s time.

“I love you Liss,” Buck croaked out, his hands sliding over her hips to lock around the small of her back before pressing his cheek into her stomach.

Her hands cradled the back of his shoulders and the other pressed to the back of his head. She leans down to place a kiss to the top of his deep brown hair, “And I love you back.”

A trip to the east coast was a drastic change in weather and scenery. Buck was originally from the east coast so this felt familiar while Lissy’s roots were in South Carolina. She came up with the idea to go on this trip to just get away from everything, even if it was only for a weekend. Buck was reluctant to go on his trip since he felt like maybe he should be out there with Chimney and his niece searching for Maddie, if he picked up his damn phone that is! Chimney did however when Lissy called him the next night while Buck was in the shower. Although in Buck’s perspective, he just wanted to know where Maddie is and if she was safe. If she left without him or Chimney, then there was a reason for that. That was something he understood although Chimney did not.

“Hello, Amaryllis.” Chimney greeted dryly as he decided to answer that night.

No one’s ever simply called Lissy by her government really—unless you were her wicked deceased father, everyone had nicknames in the 118 family but they both knew this conversation would be serious. Chimney kept the phone ringing for what seemed like forever and Lissy was also prepared to leave a voicemail if needed.

Lissy scoffed, “huh. Howard. so glad you know how to pick up a phone. I have something very simple to tell you so I’ll keep this brief. Don’t you ever put your hands on Buck like that again, or we’re definitely going to have some problems and I don’t want to have a problem with you brother-in-law.”

“Oh, Is that so?”

“That’s what I said, yeah.”

“Imagine if Maddie did what Buck did, how exactly would you feel?”

“I wouldn’t put my hands on another abused woman that’s for damn sure.”

Chimney’s quiet then, “no you probably wouldn’t…but I’m not ready to forgive Buck so tell him to stop trying to reach out and you can also cut the shit with your threats.”

Chimney knows Lissy’s backstory and how much that screwed her brain up, considering they had to pull her in on a case that had to do with cults once in the outskirts of the city.

She had to get into the mind of a cult-leader much like her own father was. That was what really pushed her to seek out help again (the years of dealing with child psychologists would forever be embedded into her brain) and it really wasn’t that long ago that Lissy stopped. After all, maybe she understood Maddie more than she was letting on, although it was different with Maddie being a mother and Lissy handling childhood trauma, she was still the most empathic; which commonly threw others for a loop majority of the time. However Chimney’s anger was blinding everything and he couldn’t be reasonable right now.

Lissy states, “As long as I make myself clear.”

“Well let me make this clear to you, Maddie is the mother of my child, I love her and she deserves to be here with us. She deserves to know that she’s not a terrible person or mother although I’m ticked with her too but Jee-Yun deserves a mother in her life! I can’t just sit on my ass like Buck and let her figure this all out on her own. what kind of man would I be if I wasn’t by her side?”

Lissy talks with experience,“I get that Chimney and we love her too, never stopped. Maddie practically raised Buck so why would you think for one second that he would ever stop loving her? because he chose a different route than you would? He’s her brother. I get that you want to be there but not everyone heals the best or copes well when their loved ones are hovering, especially if they’re afraid to hurt them again.”

“Maddie never hurt anyone! Don’t you get it?!”

More than he would ever know.

“She doesn’t see it that way.”

Chimney snaps, “You seem to have the answers for everything don’t you Amaryllis? do you know where Maddie’s run off to huh? Are you also keeping secrets like your shit stain of a fiancé?”

“I’m telling you to watch how you talk about him,” Lissy deeply exhales her warning as her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand, while she stands at the island counter before carrying on with her phone pressed to her ear, “Buck is still your chosen family and you love him too despite the anger you’re throwing around. I hope you get through that at some point, Howard. Best of luck to you, give Jee my love.”

Her calm demeanor irritated Chimney so he finalizes, “I won’t, so save it.”

And with that the line goes dead.

When she’s off the phone, she’s pinching at the space in between her brows and jumps a bit as she feels hands circle around her waist. She smells Buck’s body wash of Cedarwood, Vetiver, tangerine, and Oud before he presses his chin into her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” he quietly asks, his voice almost soothing that feeling that wants to seep upwards to her brain again.

A small smile stretches onto her full lips as she rests a hand right on top of Buck’s locked ones that are wrapped around her waist, “it will be, baby. What do you think about heading out to Hampton Beach this weekend?”

“Like? New Hampshire?” Buck questions, a slight furrow appearing against his brows, “Not that I wouldn’t love a baecay with you but is now really the best time for that?”

Lissy snorts at the nickname for vacation which lets her know he’s been watching some vlogs again and says, “everyone needs a get away once in awhile. We can discuss it more over dinner…so what are we feeling tonight? Anything except Thai, my stomach needs a break, Ev.”

He raises his hands in surrender as Lissy turns to face him. His eyes scan over her face, noticing the bags on her pretty freckled face that slowly became more prominent. She still looked stunning to him in any state and when she sent him a sweet smile that usually seemed to reach her eyes, he couldn’t tell her no.

“How about Venezuelan?” It was one of her favorites and Buck knew how to compromise in this loving relationship, “and that trip? I’ll really think about it.”

He couldn’t promise but since his mind was always running, he knew he would anyway.

With some persuasion from mainly Bobby and everyone else, that’s how Buck and Lissy were on a flight to “The Switzerland of America!”

Lissy’s not sure how long she’s been awake in the bed post, laying beside Buck, head resting on her tucked hands as she stares out towards the curtain covered window. The hotel was surely giving bed and breakfast with its colonial style and old like furniture but felt charming nonetheless. That’s until the creaking sounded with each movement, more so than at night that had her questioning if there were ghosts watching them sleep which happened to be much louder than Buck’s snoring apparently.

The auburn haired woman completely forgot to put a nose strip on him when they got here while he shuffled around in the bed like he commonly did but after the afternoon flight, they rushed up to their room, shared a shower and went downstairs to the tavern in the late afternoon a little before it closed at five for: one glass of Riesling and a bottle of Heineken for Buck, a cup of chowder on the side that Buck raved about, whereas Lissy personally thought it was bland and steak tips for himself, while Lissy went for the linguini tossed with herb roasted vegetables, which of course Buck teased her for.

“You’re not getting any of my beef, those veggies are not gonna feel you up, babe.” Buck laughed as he stabbed his fork into the steak.

Which wasn’t necessarily true since he had no issue sharing a spoon full of chowder about ten minutes ago before their main dishes came out.

Lissy hummed, disagreeing since she was definitely a pasta loving woman and got filled off carbs pretty quick but decided to taunt the man as she said, “I’ve already had my share earlier in the shower don’t you remember? I think I’ll be just fine.”

Buck stopped chewing to meet Lissy’s wink and had a few flashbacks of what was supposed to be a innocent shower turned not so innocent, “Behave.”

Now it was Saturday morning and she was awake before Buck. Lately she’s been waking up pretty early although she mainly worked the night time shift as a medical examiner, which Buck hated if she stayed over at his place. They hardly got the chance to spend nights together with their hectic schedules. Trust this wasn’t always Lissy’s desired path of careers but ultimately it probably made the most sense. With Lissy’s draining violent and psychological upbringing, she thought she would never see the light of day until she got away from the farm and was placed into an orphanage and then a helpful foster home that ended up wanting to adopt her.

She learned so much throughout her twenty-eight years of life and wanted to provide some sort of comfort to those who have passed on along with those that lost them. She wasn’t able to do that for her own mother who died not long after the birth of her baby sister, granted she was only six but she had to witness it. At least with death on the farm where the cult her father led, they gave each a proper send off.

That always stuck with Amaryllis no matter how twisted it may seem to outsiders.

“What are we doing today?” Buck says with sleep still deep in his tone, pressing his nose into Lissy’ shoulder, breathing her in, as he curls up against her.

It’s seven-nineteen in the morning.

Lissy blinks, “let’s go to the beach.”

“To get our early morning work out in? We didn’t get to go on our walk last night, so hell yeah, let’s go!”

Buck is full of cheers but Lissy let’s out a small laugh.

“I didn’t say all that. We’re on vacation! Who wants to work out on vacation?”

Gym rats, that’s who! Buck was 75% there.

“I’m gonna have alcohol poisoning by how many times you say ‘vacation’ on this trip aren’t I?”

“Oh, Shut up, Ev.”

Buck got used to Lissy appreciating the little things and yeah he found it enduring. Although he initially thought of someplace better than New Hampshire, he still planned on taking her all over the world since she never had that experience. Buck wanted to try his damn hardest to give Lissy the world.

Once upon a time, Lissy had a sheltered life, it was what she was used to and Buck was rebellious and always strived to do what someone told him not to do. They might have not liked it but at least he was able to say he fucking did it no matter the outcome.

Take that how you will.

And he found something special in the woman that lay before him. He wanted to share and see the world with her because there was no one else he wanted or imagined that more with. She made him happy and feel truly understood, always ready to listen to his side first, to be adventurous, and open to loving all that he is. In a way sure she made him nervous at times, since he’s never felt like he could be so raw in relationships before but he didn’t have to question when it came to her.

He guess it was true when they say you know you found the one the day you peer into their eyes long enough.

He’s chuckling before he presses a kiss to her clothed shoulder underneath the sheets, turning over his shoulder to reach for his phone to peer at the time since the alarm clock was turned on a odd angle on Lissy’s side of the bed.

“Eh, I’d rather lay here a little longer first. Let’s get up around seven-thirty or seven-forty five, huh?”

They were both early birds.

“Sure,” Lissy shrugs as Buck gets comfortable throwing his arm over her comforter covered body.

His touch was all she needed to close her eyes.

It was eight fifty when they settled onto the beach which was eight minutes away by car. The plaid blanket Lissy had spread out for them on the sand was just enough as they sat shoulder to shoulder, eyes out on the pale blue-gray waves that spun around on this Misty morning on the beach. Buck had his cup of flat white coffee, which he had to switch with Lissy since his iced coffee was too cold for him now on this sixty-five degree beach. He didn’t even care for coffee like that but he really got accustomed to it once he became a firefighter and it kept him wide-awake during over-time shifts.

“You know? this flat white isn’t too bad. It’s not what you always get right?”

Lissy’s nose crinkles a bit in humor as she sips at the cold iced mocha, which was a little too sweet for her liking but she masked it well, “I asked for extra milk and two sugars just in case.”

“So you knew—wow.” Buck stuck his tongue into his cheek, “You really do love me.”

“Yeah I do and don’t you forget it,” Lissy playfully pointed at the blond who slipped a hand around her back to rub as she leaned into him so he could kiss her temple and provide some warmth back.

And they sunk into each other as they watched the ocean come alive. Normally Buck didn’t mind the ocean but after with what happened with Christopher…the thought of the big body of water did give him a bit of anxiety until therapy gave him some peace. It also helped that he always had the love of his life to steer his mind away from the worries of life…for a little while at least.

The beach was serene and there werent too many people around that lingered yards away; Buck was sure that would be a complete contrast as the town rose to the day despite the gloom the skies brought.

Buck mumbled against Lissy’s hair, “Will you still say the same when I kick your butt at the arcade when it opens later?”

“Thats debatable.”

“I knew it,” Buck shared a laugh with the freckled face woman.

The couple later ventured off to another restaurant on the boardwalk for lunch around eleven thirty, eating lightly since their bellies were slightly full from the coffee before trailing down the boardwalk hand in hand. From souvenir shops where they got dorky but cute matching lounge shirts, to candy stores where Buck had a field day and wanted to take some home for Christopher since he was sure he would eat his share before they boarded the plane on Sunday afternoon, to finally stopping at a jewelry shop where Lissy went crazy buying all sorts of crystals that Buck still had no idea what they even mean. She even bought him a little glass turtle necklace that he just had to proudly wear around for the rest of the evening.

They ended up at the arcade by five pm and it was basically all fun between the two. Of course both wanted to win and it was close but the last game…Lissy had Buck in the end.

Literally and figuratively.

Buck sighs, “Alright fine, what do you want?”

“Kiss my ring first.”

“Oh this ring? The 1.5ct 18k opal stone with Moissanite accents? I don’t think your partner would like that very much.” He’s holding onto her fingers with pride and a smirk.

“Who’s to say he’s the one who gave it to me? Perhaps I’ve made this purchase all on my own, Mr.! Loving yourself first is the true key to finding love in someone else.”

“Well that’s true and I can’t be mad at that…but just curious, did you find that somebody?”

Lissy grins up at Buck as she locks her arms over his shoulders and Buck keeps his hands playfully raised, “I sure did, sugar. I’m looking right at him.”

And Buck seals her words with a kiss, guiding her right by the chin so their lips could meet. Buck can feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose as they held each other in place, before they slowly moved their lips together in sync. His rosy lips were always so soft against her full and sweet ones and Lissy never got tired of kissing Buck. He always held her with so much tenderness and any day in his arms felt like a vacation to her.

When they broke apart, forehead to forehead, her round eyes flicked up to Buck’s awaiting spring floating into summer eyes, “I want the stuffed lobster.”

Buck snorted as he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling a bit, “yeah, of course you do. C’mon then.”

She bounced on her toes, letting her hands slide down from his chest just for him to grip her hand once more, leading her to the counter to claim her gift.

They’re back on the boardwalk with Buck snapping solo pictures of Lissy modeling at ease (along with off guard ones) with the vibrant red lobster and people moving about. It’s around seven with the sky slowly shifting to navy and the puff of clouds remaining gray; the air is still steamy but breezy and the married couple to be realizes their time on the illuminated boardwalk will be cut short as a single raindrop falls to the center of Lissy’s parted hair.

“Hey,” Lissy peeks up at the sky then, while Buck is getting his poses out in the mirror outside with a bucket hat and shades on.

Buck is asking Eddie on FaceTime, “How do I look man?”

“Like an assclown.” Lissy hears as she looks around the boardwalk, noticing that people began to take cover into the nearby stores.

Lissy takes that as a sign and starts, “Ev…”

Just as the rain begins pelting hard against the wooden walkway, giving the indication that it would definitely hurt if they decided to run through it.

“Liss?” Buck calls out as he watches her balance the stuffed lobster in between her thighs then gathered her blown out hair up into claw clip after quickly tying it into a ponytail, “Eddie it’s down pouring. I’ll call you later!”

She steps back into the hard rain, a single arm spread out in her copper sweater, while the other holds her lobster, russet dress underneath twirling a bit with a spin she does, a wide smile spreading out onto her lips as she calls out over the loud water, “let’s go!”

He calls back, “Where to?”

“Anywhere!” She laughs and Buck can’t help but to shake his head as he tosses the hat back on the hook then places the shades onto the near by table.

He runs out to her then, interlacing his soft but strong hand into her own, water saturating both of their faces harshly and he dips his head at Liss before they take off together into the rain storm full of laughter and full of love.

Buck and Lissy couldn’t tell you how long they sat in the rental car but it wasn’t nearly as long as they ran in the rain together. He questioned if it would be weird ordering some delivery service for dinner to arrive at the hotel that had a tavern downstairs but Lissy simply shrugged her shoulders as her drying hair became bigger in its natural state.

Buck left briefly to sit in front of the fireplace outside of the tavern in the lobby which reminded him of his stuffy grandparents living room, waiting on their dinner after yet another lengthy shower. Everything seemed to be more in slow motion, like time was infinite for them both. When their dinner arrived, Buck wasted no time getting back to their charming bedroom to see Lissy sitting cross legged on the bed, still in a robe eating a mud pie that looked real familiar on the menu last night.

“No way are you eating that without me.” Buck comments as he places the bag onto the desk nearby.

Lissy covers her mouth as she tries to chew through the heaviness, “surprise! I’ll share.”

“How nice of you,” Buck laughs as he begins taking the containers of food out just for Lissy to appear behind him holding the dessert up to his lips with a fork.

Buck sighs in contentment, opening his eyes back to see Lissy nodding at him in agreement, “That has no business being that freaking good…you think we can have that as the wedding cake?

Lissy’s chest swells just thinking about the day, although they haven’t set a date yet and Buck talks about the wedding more than she does lately, it still brings her immense joy that someone like Buck would want to do life with her. He was patient and she learned all about his past relationships, which were way more than her’s—which she didn’t judge him for by any means but sometimes she still had to pinch herself to see if this was all real.

“It’s certainly a option, baby.” She runs her fingers over his stubble.

Together they sit back against the bed, Lissy in between Buck’s legs as they eat out of their containers of food, Lissy holding her own in her lap while Buck’s is off to the side of his, the brick wall behind the post bed makes the room chiller but being in each other’s space was all the shelter they need.

Lissy finds herself turning over her shoulder to look at Buck as he’s stuffing his face. When he feels her dark eyes burning into him, he flicks his gaze away from his meal, cheeks full as he sends a boyish laugh her way with a lift of his chin.

“Stop looking at me Mrs. Buck and eat your food.” He says, holding her stare as a single hand gets lost in her much thicker auburn hair.

Lissy laughs, “only if we can have a late night cuddle?”

“Is that not what we’re doing?” Buck asks, sliding his hand to rest back on her thigh.

Lissy shrugs as she faces her meal again, “I’m actually kinda cold.”

“What? Not my woman who likes to keep the thermostat on Antarctica. Wait…are you wearing anything under there?” Buck slides his hand up her torso first but she slaps his hand from lifting the opening of the robe.

She wags her finger in front of Buck’s eyes repeating, “Not uh, eat your food.”

Buck rolls his head around with a groan, “well how am I supposed to eat this if I’m curious now?”

“Just look at Brutus over there.” She points at the stuffed lobster that sits in the desk chair.

Buck pursed his lips after a moment, “My god that thing is ugly.”

“Don’t talk about our son like that!”

“Our what?” Buck side eyed Lissy who fought back a laugh.

“He has feelings.”

“Babe, I don’t know if you know this but that’s a stuffed animal and it doesn’t have emotions.”

“That’s the problem with men, y’all don’t know how to be in touch with your feelings.”

“Now wait a minute,” Buck frowns, “Karen or was it May? Somebody! did tell me I’m a cancer moon or something like that. I think I’m very much in touch with my feelings.”

“Hmm, I’m still in disbelief and think you’re more on the Gemini-Cancer cusp.”

Buck blinks, “yeah…whatever that means but it feels offensive so I think we’re ready for bed now.”

“I didn’t finish my nachos,” Lissy whines as Buck is closing up their containers and moving them elsewhere.

Buck shrugs as he leans back against the pillows still sitting up somewhat and pulls Lissy to rest against his chest, “Too bad. It’s my turn to hold you tonight, you did say you were cold and I don’t want you getting sick.”

Lissy huffs as she nestled her cheek into his chest, “…I won’t complain.”

“I know you won’t,” Buck laughs as he squeezes her shoulder and let’s his other hand rest on her hip.

She leans a kiss on his neck and before she can close her eyes for the night, she spies the light box on his side of the bed. She fears that feeling will come back and settle in like dry cement once they’re both back in Los Angeles but for tonight, she revels in the safety of Buck’s arms.

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

Read my October anthology prompts here.

#911 fox #911 abc #9 1 1 #911 show #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x female reader #buck x reader #evan buckley x black! reader #oliver stark #maddie buckley #howard han #maddie x chimney #Eddie Diaz #christopher diaz #september prompts #queued

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mgnifiqueyoo · 9 months

Text

— "love at first spark."

requested by: anon pairing: zb1 matthew x fem!reader song recommendation: dear no one (tori kelly) lowercase is intended… — a/n: y'aaaaall, i really wanted to start writing a zb1 oneshot but i actually didn't know where to start but thanks to the person who requested this, here's my first ever seok matthew oneshot! i hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! ^^ (btw, i am also thinking of making a masterlist for all my uploaded projects very soon!)

[ total words: 1.9k ]

click here to support me on ko-fi! ☕ click on this g.form link to request!

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“ricky, i’m fine. you don’t have to call me every hour. tell mom and dad that i’m doing just great, okay?”

it was the second week since you moved into your new dorm. flying across the country is not really what you expected at all this year. you already had your plans; just trying out an online entrance exam to a university abroad and then, not expecting anything from it. you could say that it was all “just for fun” until you received an e-mail.

and that letter basically told you that you had to move out.

“look, i don’t trust you on your own and i’m just looking out for you,” your brother said back in defense, probably already making up an excuse for this call to even take place. “... i’m gonna miss you a lot, y/n.”

“me too.” you paused for a bit as you remembered how fun it was to be back home. with each day that passes, things are changing and you just couldn’t believe that this was the actual start of something new. out of the country and pursuing something so difficult– law. “... m’kay, i’ll text you later after i review. love you, ricky.”

“... love you, too.”

ending the call yourself, you chuckled at the way he sounded so hesitant to say those words back. ricky would refuse to admit it but there was always that soft side in him that comes out every time something completely life-changing takes place; the type of thing that doesn't really have a clear answer in the end.

to him, this was one of those things.

by the time you got back to your plans, you were already so eager to start cleaning out your desk to spend the rest of your hours with your nose stuck in a book– and, oh, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"huh?" you stood up straight after bending down the table, your palms still looking for that bright, vibrant blueish aqua highlighter you'd always use for notes. "... just a second!"

nonetheless, you made your way to the door even though you had no idea who else could've been behind it. and once you opened it, you were met with a guy who held a mysterious box; he had dirty blond hair and a nice set of teeth that seemed to have been covered once he saw you.

but why?

"sorry, who are you?" "here's your order… ma'am?"

he didn't even sound sure when he said that last word as you took the box in your own hands, your brows furrowed. god, you were just so confused. you didn't even buy anything!

"... there's no way you're jonathan whales, right?"

that's when things got clearer for you as the tensed muscles on your face slowly loosened up… but at what cost? this guy in front of you obviously just got ditched by some horrible customer.

"well," your smile widens but it only made him feel a lot more unsettled, especially with those dead eyes of yours staring back at him, "i'm not a johnathan apparently."

the boy in front of you bit his bottom lip, frowning as he squinted his eyes in anxiousness and a whole lot of uncertainty. he scratches the back of his neck, confused yet curious eyes looking around your dorm room from the outside as he later lets out a defeated sigh.

"... have i been scammed?"

your shoulders slowly rose up as a grimace was plastered on your face, your head nodding hesitantly in response. the blond had every right to roll his eyes, letting out a deep breath as you quickly assumed that he didn't like the way you reacted.

but in your defense, you were just starting your weekend with a supposed two-hour long review session. you didn't expect an unpaid package and a scammed seller to come by your doorstep!

"hold on… let me check my account." he raised his pointer finger up for a bit, pulling out the phone from his hoodie's pocket. not once did he smile at the view of whatever it was on his screen. "... oh, no."

"not a good news, isn't it?" "yeah… i just got robbed."

you widen your eyes, baffled at this ridiculous situation happening right in front of you. ‘i can’t just leave him here, can’t i?’ you thought to yourself, also letting out the same deep breath he did. — well, all those things you wanted to do? they’re gonna be done tomorrow because you feel the need to help this guy.

looking down at the package you held, you noticed how neatly it was prepared and you knew that this guy wanted to impress his customer. “... what’s your name?”

“matthew... matthew seok.” he then stared at the bulletin board behind your desk, raising both of his eyebrows in what seemed like fascination. “and i think we go to the same university, miss l/n? i’m really sorry- i need to take this back.”

as he reached for the package, you frowned, pulling it away from him. for some unknown reason, you didn’t want to return to him.

“no,” you argued shortly, causing him to tilt his head, making him even more confused than before, “i’ll pay for it.”

the blond lets out a chuckle that is obviously having a lot of feelings mixed. you couldn’t help but mentally curse yourself for refusing to return the parcel to him. “you don’t have to do that-”

“this is mine now. i’ll pay for it.” your arm covered the lid of the box in baby blue shades, your brows furrowing further as matthew seemed to not get the memo yet. was it because it’s his first time meeting someone as persistent as this? or was it because he just didn’t know what to do? anyway, you cared less enough to answer those questions.

and instead, paid attention to this weird, sudden desire of this random parcel that you didn’t even purchase. “listen, i know you want to help me but i don’t want you spending your money on this.” matthew’s growing concern didn’t fade away at all as his hands reached for the box once more, resulting in you flinching as you held it in your arms tightly. — this is the weirdest you’ve ever been.

‘why am i so obsessed with this?’ you asked yourself silently in a form of an uncertain gulp and a puzzled, blank stare at the seller, who still stood by your doorstep. “what’s inside of it?”

“... well, you don’t need to know-” “is it drugs?” “what? no!”

but no matter how many times the guy tried to stop you, your hands started tearing the tapes around the box’s lid and body. — this is the most chaotic you’ve ever been. “ma’am, calm down!” he grabbed your wrists to catch your attention and it did… in the most unusual way.

in fact, it was so unusual that your gripping hands let go of the box, letting the package fall on the floor, a loud thud and a few cracks were heard. looking down, you soon realized that it was a record player.

'oh, what a shame,' you thought, deep into your regrets. it was like there was this rope pulling you towards it even though you didn't know what this "johnathan whales" guy bought.

and apparently, it was really pretty, sky blue record player.

“i… i told you i’d pay for it,” you blurted out, unsure of the consequences as matthew kept his head down, taking a few deep breaths. audible and full of shame. you were sure that you just made the situation worse. “i’m sorry.”

as his hands let go of your wrists, you swore that something stinging was left on your skin. no, it wasn’t an insect or the itchy feeling of your sweatshirt. it wasn’t even the wind that entered your room from the windows… it was something else.

and there were sparks of it.

in pink and are all over your arms, glowing before they faded away like nothing; like it was some smoke.

“did you just… see that?” matthew did not wait for a second to let it pass, staring right into your soul with no plans of looking somewhere else. “you saw that, right? am i just hallucinating or-”

“no, i saw it too.” you couldn’t look away from him, founding comfort in the fact that he also saw (and felt) the same thing. not to mention, it didn’t look like it was just a faint glimpse– it was like fireworks in the afternoon skies, especially the ones before the clock strikes five o’clock.

the boy then took a step back, realizing that he still held your arms as the time-stopping ambiance slowly left the room; but it lingered as if hours had gone by. “... what do you think was it?” he rocked himself back and forth in an almost unnoticeable way, little by little. you could see the genuine curiosity in his eyes but you were left with no answer.

i mean, how does someone know the reason behind that? seeing magenta sparks? it’s already so delusional just by listening to those words. “i’m not sure about that… do you want to talk about it?” you had no idea that you opened a new path for him as he kept his head tilted, jaw slightly left hanging as he smiled with his pretty teeth.

“are you kidding? of course! i mean, you’d never see anything like that everyday!” he joked, making you let out a chuckle that was still very much lost in the moment.

finding yourself staring at him, you woke yourself up in the middle of it, standing by the side of the doorframe to let him walk in as he giggled, oddly settled after all that disaster earlier as you began to slowly see the bright side in it, too.

“can you give me a moment to fix this mess?" you asked, which made him nod almost immediately, later walking his way in. you expected him to sit on the solo couch to make himself at least feel at home but he only stood, looking around with his bright eyes.

and again, it made you smile for no reason. “so, you study law, huh? that’s pretty hard, isn’t it?” his eyes were glued to the textbooks that were piled on your desk as you chuckled, shrugging right after.

“well, it’s something that i really wanted to do,” you said back, slightly biting the tip of your tongue as you remembered the mess you’ve made off of his product. “matthew, i’m so sorry for what happened. i’ll pay for it, i promise-”

“hey, i just told you that you don’t have to! we’ll just… i don’t know? tell this to the police? maybe they could do something.” he interrupted you, still pushing his priorities over your suggestion. and even though you didn’t like that, he sure did have a point. none of this was your fault. if only the scammer was a genuine customer, this wouldn’t have taken place.

but something tells you that this was meant to happen. you’re just not sure why.

once you returned to the ruined box with the badly damaged record player, his glare followed every move you made. maybe even syncing with the rhythm of your breathing. “... would you let me help you with that?” he offered as you turned to look back at him, exerting extra effort, considering that you’re crouched to the ground with broken pieces in both of your hands.

“that’d be great.” you laughed as he did so too before continuing to sit down next to you, willing to share the work with you at least.

when silence was starting to take over, the blond paused for a while as he couldn’t help but stare at you and it intrigued him. was it the way you were so determined in helping him? was it because of how odd the situation was? he never had a clue. “i think it’s not just my money that was stolen.”

you faced him in response, raising an eyebrow with eyes shining in interest. “what else was stolen, then?” you let out another laugh once more, noticing the way you felt drawn to him more and more. for a bit, he seemed like he didn’t want to say those next few words but of course, he wouldn’t let such a perfect chance pass.

“... i think you just stole my heart.”

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