First off, obviously this is a WC blog so I won't go further but THANKS for the brief dunk of The Lion Guard, that's one of my biggest problems with the show. Second off, are you seeing this shit Elder Bones?! * Points at the Thunder Spoiler Thread at WCRPForums * Do try to avoid reading the posts that aren't chapters though, they're bad as usual for that site lol.
Maybe one day I'll grumble about Lion King on the side blog lmao.
Anyway... that spoiler thread. I try to take these threads with a pinch of salt, but... overall feelings are really getting negative. If I had a Vibes Barometer, the needle would be dipping out of positive right now.
We're 2 books away from the conclusion and I don't know if they have time to turn this around... and they chose to spend time traveling. It's partially a travel book, guys. Several chapters of pointless bullshit.
(Spoilers under the cut-- remember we are getting this secondhand from a spoiler thread. Some of this may turn out to be misrepresentation.)
NIGHTHEART STUFF
We start off where the preview left off. They jerk the shit out of your chain with Squirrelstar teasing but spoiler we DO got her
(CELEBRATORY SQUIRRELSTAR MUSIC)
We get a BrambleSquirrel screaming match. Please for the love of god divorce these characters, this is fucking insufferable
They also had to give Bramblestar a smug little gotcha moment where he's right about his argument, Squilf accidentally walks to SkyClan camp for the plot and it turns out that Bramblestar, the guy who was apparently supposed to have memory issues and brain fog, was right that Squilf forgot how to navigate her own territory
Im dead serious she like... accidentally walked to SkyClan.
This is a clever literary trick called bad writing <3
While they're there, Nightheart says, "HEY WASNT THERE A MEDIATOR THINGY? ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO SOLVE DISPUTES?"
*I look directly into the camera. Right at you. Reader I am glimpsing across the magical threads of the internet, directly into your soul.*
Leafstar
says
"I Forgor"
if this thread is to be believed. Then the canonical explanation for why Tree was not mediating up to this point. Is because every single cat around the lake. Including the geniuses who came up with a unique role JUST for the specialest little boy. Just fucking forgot about him.
(bestselling young adult series)
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
I think im unlocking the emotion that those lizards who shoot blood from their eyes feel just before a squirt
Anyway
There is also an absurd amount of Bramblestar winking at Nightheart and teasing him about his new mate and reminding the audience about how much Nightheart wuvs him. This is probably supposed to be charming?
it just feels unsettling, ngl.
It's even more Bramble Worship than normal, like the writer is trying really hard to stress how cool and awesome their special boy is :D and how dumb and mean his wife is >:( and it's so fucking forced.
They pad the book by having it be cloudy so that StarClan doesn't show up the first time they try to do the Squirrelstar thing
I kept thinking, "What if this wasn't a willing abdication?? What if the Clan didn't have a second chance to do this?? What if this was Nightstar 2 all over again and she died of plot convenience before coming back?! This dumbfuck system has fixed NOTHING"
Plumstone and Dewnose have a moment where they antagonize Nightheart over the fact he was chosen to accompany Squilf and Bramble to the Moonpool, because he just got back and it's not fair
And you know what? They're right actually
Nightheart huffs that Squilf was giving him a Chance To Prove Himself but he doesn't fucking get it! His whole life's been nothing but chances he threw tantrums about being offered or blew up through wrecklessness, like a spoiled brat nepobaby, and he keeps getting more and more
Meanwhile Plumstone here has been in the background just being this consistently steady warrior, and has never gotten a chance to shine
He also has a moment where he whines about Sparkpelt and Finchlight being mean to him in the past when Sunbeam shares they've been super nice to her.
Sunbeam offers that they're probably trying to make up for it and he agrees.
Folks. I REALLY. REALLY HOPE. That this ends with Sunbeam telling him, "Nightheart, you are the problem. They've treated me like Kin, and they treat their Kin well. Do YOU?"
Anyway something happens and suddenly Nightheart's on the trip with Frostpaw.
The rest of his chapters so far (at time of writing the spoiler thread is at chapter 14-ish) are traveling chapters.
The traveling chapters suck diet discount dick. They look like they were rejected submissions for the various travel shenanigans that happened in Riverstar's Home.
For me, this is the most disappointing part of the Thunder Spoiler Thread. I love Nightheart because I really like the idea of him learning to grow, consider his actions, and realize that he's actually been very loved in his life.
I like the impulsive Nightheart from Book 1 who doesn't know what's wrong with himself, shooting down every attempt others make to bond with him, making shocking descisions that frustrate the entire Clan and not realizing how much he gets away with. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, the writing could be a little clever for once.
But, no. On this trip he's still whining to Frostpaw about how his family "wanted him to be like Firestar" and this is treated as something Frostpaw is able to bond with him about, somehow, because Curlfeather wanted her to be a Medcat??? And now she's choosing to be a Medcat again anyway????
FROSTPAW STUFF
WC Writing Team: "Everyone is super invested in Frostpaw's story where she learns to choose her own path! Especially the idea that she chose to not be a medcat of her own will and made a brave choice for herself! Lets fix that"
Literally, I guess lol
Smoky Cameo. Fuck Smoky. I hate this character and I hate seeing his deadbeat ass.
Gotta love how Daisy's one major role in ASC so far has been to be a source of negative emotions for Nightheart, but Smoky gets to be the new Barley with a cutesy barn rest stop.
He calls for a human to come get Frostpaw because she's got wounds.
Like. Cat MEOW MEOW calling. And this summons... a magic vet?
She has the world's fastest field surgery, as if she's some kind of endangered wild leopard and a top-notch vet staff rolled out of a research truck.
They even inject her, by hand, with tranquilizer. Who the fuck carries cat tranquilizer around?
Is this barn in the back of a fucking vet office???
Does this universe have roving surgical vans that drive around and play music like an ice cream truck, waiting for cats to call them over?????
Frostpaw wakes up back in the barn
But now her neck wound is fixed and she's spayed.
She looks down at the fresh cut on her abdomen and is like "what's this"
Smoky: "dont worry abt it"
If Frostpaw is okay with being sterilized, this will be the first time in the series that a cat being fixed will be seen as a good thing
Which, irl, it is. To be clear. Spay and neuter your animals
But dudes, this is really massively unsettling me. It seems like she doesn't know what has been done to her. This has never been treated as a positive thing in this series before. In the last book she was talking about the sort of life she would like to live
Once again she has been stripped of her own choices in a massive way
And if Smoky apparently lives so close to a vet that they just come when he calls,
I have so many questions im losing my marbles
Why is Smoky not neutered
Why were none of his 3, possibly 4 wives spayed
Why are his kids not fixed
Why were his kits with Floss taken "when they were too young to even open their eyes" back in TNP if their humans are so loving and educated
SO EDUCATED THEY WALK AROUND WITH CAT TRANQUILIZER
Anyway through the power of the writers not caring anymore, Frostpaw can now talk to StarClan whenever she wants.
They have magically bestowed a connection onto her.
This is apparently something they can just do now. Maybe it's tied to near-death experiences or the vet or something
Remember Shadowsight having a whole thing about this at the end of TBC?
Remember Mothwing and how upsetting it was to have no connection to them and how finding Willowpaw was a big thing in TNP?
Yeah apparently they could just do this whenever. Sorry.
Frostpaw is just cool with this because fuck the last book where she found out she likes being a warrior
Agency? What's THAT
It's not ok if your mom encourages you to be a doctor nun, but StarClan rips your organs out and forces you to be their mouthpiece and that's peachy-fucking-keen.
Then she goes traveling for several chapters i want to commit crime
Riverstar does the usual alarmist moaning, "ooooouuugh this newest crisis could destroy riverclan!!! Oooooooooooooouuououou it's for real this time!!!!"
Everything's gonna destroy the clans. A light breeze has just reduced ThunderClan to rubble. A beetle has landed gently upon Harestar's nose, 34 dead 25,430 injured
Girl help frostpaw is being followed by clickbait headline ghosts
And, also, for no good reason, the ghosts can't just answer a question. Why? Who fucking knows. Never explained. They can summon Frostpaw into a Ghost Zoom Call whenever they want now, but they're forbidden from revealing anything useful.
Average autistic experience with zoom calls though, can confirm, that is what every zoom call ive ever been in was like.
Im serious though, she tries to ask Reed who killed him, he just says no i cant :(
She tries to ask where her mom is. They don't tell her she's downstairs.
Riverstar says nothing useful
I have never been more frustrated with StarClan as a plot device. This is actually fucking insufferable.
They're annoying enough when they send vague signs and prophecies that amount to nothing, but now they can pop up like shitty unskippable cutscenes and STILL add nothing of value to the plot
Something I was ENJOYING was how much more grounded ASC was compared to previous arcs, and that StarClan was back to being difficult to access directly. Gone. Goodbye.
SUNBEAM STUFF
The highlight of the book everyone leave me alone i need to speak directly to sunbeam
I like how she's finding more reasons than just Nightheart to stay in ThunderClan, but is also struggling with the shift in culture
It's in a Sunbeam chapter that we FINALLY get Squilfstar. Everyone say Thank You Sunbeam
If you even LOOK at the Sunbeam wrong I will smash you to death with my hooves
For once it actually feels like we're using the cast in ThunderClan. Cherryfall, Dewnose, Plumstone, Myrtlebloom, Bayshine, Finchlight, Sparkpelt, and Lionblaze all get some significant little lines to add to this.
In particular I like Cherryfall throwing a bit of a fit about being a senior warrior and acting high and mighty, which Sunbeam immediately dislikes because ShadowClan doesn't do as much posturing. It's fun to see how she percieves ThunderClan cats.
I have a softness for these sorts of stories though, to be fair. The idea of moving to a new place and having to adjust.
It's also neat that she's growing frustrated with how Nightheart has now ditched her THRICE.
Girl please steal his family and dump him.
Be a legend. Marry his sister. It would make you the queen of pettiness you would become my favorite forever
Ivypool's exams are also pretty neat, they all test teamwork abilities. I'm going to be happy when I finally get to read them in full, if nothing else, these trials have been delightful to see.
Anyway the next emergency gathering comes up and it descends into an argument
Dovewing gets to yell at Ivypool and tell her to back off <3 "You're not going to manipulate my mate through me, screw you"
Tigerheartstar and the other leaders eventually agree to meet with the mediator off-screen because the writers don't feel like showing us Tree's madd skillz which definitely justify having this unique role that we completely forgot about until just now
It doesn't accomplish anything meaningful because they only acknowledged the mediator role to make the fans stop complaining
Tigerheartstar agrees to not station more warriors in RiverClan territory but nothing else. Waow.
aaand Berryheart's planning something and Sparrowtail, Sunbeam's father, accidentally spills the beans to his daughter. I like this because I have always imagined him as a himbo
so... yeah. It's not looking great. I'm not having a good time in this spoiler thread. I am hoping that a fair amount of it is misrepresentation, because if it's what the leaker says it is, I'm not going to be a happy camper
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