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writella · 4 years

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Touch

Pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

Summary: Luke’s spirit is brought down by the pain he has caused his parents as well as the hardships that come from adoring you, a lifer. He craves your touch but his ghostly form keeps him from getting the thing he most desires to recieve.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: First fic! Sorry that it's kind of long. I don’t know if this would be considered “angsty” but it is kind of sad in the beginning but trust me it becomes really sweet at the end!

Julie and the Phantoms was such a good show. I loved how the writers and Charlie showed that despite how positive Luke was, he was harboring a lot of pain inside when it came to how he left him mom that he didn’t show anyone. This piece touches on that point a little bit more. If you would like to leave a review, that would be super appreciated. I’m sure there are a bunch of grammar errors anyway.

Luke came to you after he left Julie at his parents house. He told you about the song to his mom, about how his parents still celebrated his birthday after all these years. He told you about the grief he felt and how he felt like he had no one. You told him that he had you, and Julie, and the guys most importantly, that you were sure they missed their family members too. He admitted to you though, that both Alex and Reggie avoided talking about their family, it was one of the only things that they weren’t being honest about with each other. He said he couldn’t be the one to bring it up.

“I’m the strong one!” He explained. “If I don’t push them forward, they’ll fall apart. I have to be happy, I have to be okay so they-“

“It’s okay not to be okay all the time, Luke,” You interrupt him, then you send him a sympathetic smile as you come to a realization: “I didn’t know you put all this pressure on yourself... I’m sorry. Come here,” without thinking you motion him forward, arms reaching to grasp his back, only catching handfuls of air.

Luke gives you an exasperated laugh, in the heat of it all, he almost forgot for a second himself.

“Well, this is a strange little relationship we have, isn’t it?” Tears swipe down his cheek.

“Luke...” you didn’t know how to respond, you cursed yourself for making the situation worse.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Or whenever. Alright?” His words were short as he forced a smile and disappeared from your sight.

You woke up from your haze and caught your eyes staring out the window, looking at the boy you were just thinking about. He sat on an old brown chair right next to the garage door. Julie took some down that hung from the garage ceiling a few nights ago for him. She said she got tired of seeing Luke crouching down on the concrete like a sad lost puppy.

“Why don’t you just stop avoiding him and finally go down there?” Julie sighs. “Maybe you’ll have better luck than me.”

“Than all of us.” Alex chimed in.

You were hesitant but as Julie pushed you to the door it seemed as if you had no choice.

“You’re our only hope.” Reggie said with a sad smile, echoing a quote from his favorite franchise.

As you walked toward Luke, his gaze on the night sky never faltered.

“You don’t have to say anything... Just want to be with you. Alright?” You said softly as you sat down on the chair next to him. You decided you were only going to keep him company, not dwell on what happened. You remembered what he said about always having to be the strong one, you guessed that’s what you were trying to do now.

He only slightly nodded, not wanting to look you in the eye. He was surprised you’d finally come. Everyone, Reggie, Alex, and Julie had come to sit with him from time to time, getting nothing out of him. He sort of wished you finally would show up but now that you’re here, he couldn’t say anything despite how much he wanted to. He tried to urge the words to his tongue but his apprehension kept them stuck inside his brain. He bounced his knee, his frustration as well as your closeness was getting to him.

He knew he shouldn’t have been ignoring you, you must’ve felt as bad as he did but he needed some time to think. Maybe just a day, he reasoned, just to go through the motions by himself and then wake up going back to his easy going self again the next morning. This is what he told himself, yes, but then a day became another, and then another.

It surprised him, how out of it he was. Usually, it was so easy for him to find the courage to remain optimistic but right now he just felt like a disappointment. He was usually able to thrive upon this fact, a 90s misfit, nowhere to go but up. He loved the idea that one day his band’s talent would shine so brightly everyone would have no choice but to see their beauty. And it didn’t come from anger, Luke was never a resentful person, it came from a place of purity. He wanted his music to make people feel connected; understood, just like it had for him. Or like it has for him up until now. He hadn't been able to play in days.

The bittersweet melody of Unsaid Emily became the mantra that invaded his brain this past week. Every time the song came to an end, his mind replayed the lyrics again, and again; an endless loop. And with that came the images of his parents, blowing out a birthday candle with misty tears in their eyes, thinking of their boy they believed they lost forever. And then there was you, of course. The prettiest girl he’d ever seen, who laughed at his confusing metaphors, and built him up when he was feeling down which was something he usually had to do for others. Ever since he met you, you were there for him in a way no one else had been. The thought almost relieved his pain. Could this truly be love? He had dated around before but never had he been in a real relationship. After finding the guys, the band was all he thought about, the only connection he felt he needed. Plus, he just had to prove to his mom that he could make it, and that took all of his attention. Another mistake, he thought.

Once again he revisits the memory of your arms going through him. Not only could he never apologize to his parents but he couldn’t even love one of the only people on Earth who could actually see him the way he wanted to. Never had he felt so completely helpless. He wanted you to know that he didn’t want to give up. He needed you to know that you were enough, but he was fearful to try anything despite how desperately he wanted touch. He even counted the ways he could do it in his head: perhaps he’d lightly stroke your knee, softly rub his thumb on your intertwined hands, maybe brush your hair behind your ear with his fingers lingering till he felt the last strand of hair slip away. Or maybe, just maybe, he’d even give you the softest kiss. One so pure and light, because while he was a ghost, he thought of you as an angel and he believed an angel deserved a touch just as delicate, but he couldn’t. He was dead.

It had been an hour of you two sitting in silence. You stared at him and sighed. You thought he was beautiful. You could go on endlessly about the physicality of that beauty but what really tugged on your heart was what was inside. His mind, his body, his soul, that was bound in optimism. You’d never seen anything like it. Right from when Julie met him, she told you, he put the realization of being dead, of being a ghost, behind him just to help her become a part of the music program again, giving her the words of encouragement, it’s a closed door, but you’ve gotta bust it open!

You felt terrible that you were a part of the reason why his spirit was currently crushed. You desperately wanted touch. You wanted him to know you were there for him but you knew words weren’t enough.

Screw it, you thought. You were going to try again and even if it didn’t work you were ready to tell him that you didn’t care, that seeing was all you needed to be with him. You wanted him to know that you weren’t giving up. You needed him to know that he was enough, fear wasn’t going to stop you.

You reached for his knee. Trying to touch the tips of his hand that laid there with yours, ready for the sensation of air to swoosh between your fingertips but then, just then, you... felt. First it was the tips of nails, then fingers, and as he turned his hand, eyes bulging wide, you felt his palm. You held it there for a second, soon sliding your palms together, you intertwined your fingers with his. You were actually holding hands.

Luke’s mouth went agape and you met his eyes, sharing the same look of disbelief. Seeing a tear roll down the right side of his face you realized your emotions mirrored his as one dripped down on the left side of yours. He wiped it away with his thumb, gripping your face a little more roughly than he intended to, the excitement apparent in his shaky hands.

He soon loosened his grip, now caressing your cheek, creating friction as he rubbed back and forth, replacing the chill of the night air on your skin with warmth. His fingers, then moved to your chin, then he poked your nose, brushed his fingertips against your eyelashes, till he finally rolled them against your lips, slowly. He couldn’t believe he felt you. The feeling was something even a dream couldn’t conjure up, something that even he couldn’t describe in a lovely song lyric; this was perfection; this was, indeed, love.

This revelation brought with it courage and with that he finally willed himself up off that chair and yanked your arm that was connected to your still intertwined hands with it and at once you became one with a hug. One so fierce and tight you couldn’t breath, his arms crushing your shoulders, his hands caressing your head, his fingers falling on the strands of your hair.

With one arm still around you, he moved one of his hands against your cheek once more, connecting his forehead to yours. You both relished in the closeness, breathing each other in.

“If I ever cross over, I bet this is what heaven feels like,” he said in a soft whisper, finally breaking the silence, but only adding to the moment’s loveliness. “I think you’re connected to my soul.”

Thank you for reading!

#luke patterson x reader #luke jatp x reader #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms fic #my work #luke patterson #luke jatp #sunset curve #luke patterson fic #luke patterson imagine #luke jatp imagine #luke jatp fic #touch starve #touch starved #touch starve! luke #touch starved! luke

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blush-and-books · 3 years

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Julie didn’t expect it to happen. I mean, she always felt like Luke was alive when he was around her, but she didn’t think-

She didn’t ever think about this.

They were on the couch – his couch, their couch, as he liked to say now – and he was, to be brief, kissing her senseless. It was a songwriting session that took a turn for the romantic, and ended with their notebooks on the floor; her back pressed into the couch cushions as Luke hovered over her.

He always felt the same: Warm but only on the surface, soft as he ran his hands up and down her sides, magnetic when his lips clasped hers with an urgency that neither of them could quite pin the origin of. But after a while, when Julie attempted to flip them so that she could be on top, her hand pressed solid against his chest as she lowered herself onto him-

And a rapid, ever-present, undeniable thumping met her palm like a greeting.

She barely had time to react before Luke’s callused hand was sliding up her scalp and tugging her down to meet him in another kiss.

“Luke,” she mumbles into his mouth with little effort to pull away. Even though it wants to wander, her hand hasn’t abandoned it’s position against his ribs where there is pressure echoing against it with frightening speed.

He only pulls her closer; thinking that her murmurs were the result of satisfaction less than shock.

He actually manages to distract her for another moment – the intoxicating combination of rough hands and sweet lips and Luke – but her hands find their way back home.

The beating is still there.

She speaks more forcefully this time; slightly pushing back against the hammer trying to make itself known. “Luke.”

Being the ever-aware boyfriend, he is in-tune to the tones of her voice, and he pulls himself out of her space.

“What? Are you okay? Did I-”

“Your heart,” she chokes out. Her hand pushes a little harder, as if she is giving him CPR. “I feel your heart.”

His hands, which are gripping her waist, loosen their hold.

“W-What?”

Her right hand briefly lifts from his chest to bring his hand back with her; both of them able to feel the thumping lightly against their skin. His eyes meet hers as it registers to him that they now share beating hearts, and that a beating heart is a sign that points to life.

His mouth has been gaping for so long that she almost cracks a joke, but she can only imagine she looks the same.

“How is…?” Luke trails off, and suddenly, Julie’s hands are fumbling over his body in search to contact his wrist and his neck; pressing firmly in a desperate search for the light pulse that should be present with an accompanying heartbeat.

Nothing is there for a while. Her middle and index fingers apply more pressure, less concerned about hurting Luke and more about the ability she has to hurt Luke.

But then-

It’s light, like a little butterfly flapping it’s wings against her fingertips. But it’s there.

And a relieved sigh flushes from her grinning lips.

“You have a pulse.”

He reaches up to replace her fingers and feel it for himself – and sure enough, there it is.

“Oh my God.”

His body against hers is no longer emitting a false sense of heat – he’s warm. Toasty, like a furnace, like a living teenage boy should be.

“You’re warm. You’re so warm, I-”

“Julie!”

Carlos comes barreling into the studio with little warning save for a loud yell after opening the barn doors. But when his eyes trace the space and focus in on his sister, they almost pop out of his head.

“You’re with a boy? The guitarist? Ew, oh my God! Does Dad know?”

The couple is less focused on the fact that they have been caught with Julie literally straddling Luke and more on the fact that Carlos can see Julie straddling Luke.

“Carlos, you-” Julie gulps. “You can see him?”

Her little brother, still equally as disgusted, looks hard and long at Luke. “Wait, isn’t he supposed to be a ghost?”

“Yes!” The two of them answer at the same time. As a trio, their eyes bounce from person to person with the clear question of what the hell is going on. “We need to find Reggie and Alex,” Julie whispers, finally.

Luke is still in shock over the fact that he has a heart – which is rapidly pounding under his ribs – but ne manages a nod, and tightens his hands around Julie’s waist to help her off of his lap.

“I’ll go see if Reggie’s in the kitchen,” Carlos informs them before giving the couple a moment to themselves. “Julie… We’ll talk about that-” He gestures around his sister and her boyfriend- “Later.”

Once he has left them to be alone together once again, Julie runs her hands over her face. “Or never,” she grumbles.

“So… What do we do?”

Luke’s question seems to snap Julie back into the reality of things. Less “my little brother caught me in a suggestive position with my ghost boyfriend” and more “my boyfriend is no longer a ghost.”

At seeing the panicked look in his eyes, her hands dart forward and tightly knit her fingers between his. They are so warm, and soft, and if she really focuses there is blood rushing through his veins.

“Hey,” she says, voice affectionate. “Whatever is going on, if you’re alive again, it- That’s a good thing. That’s a great thing, Luke. I know there’ll be a lot to work out. But… No more peaking over our shoulders for Caleb, or praying that I won’t pass through you when I reach for you, or…”

“Or what?”

“You worrying about me growing up.”

Her voice is so high, so weak, that she almost thinks she is on the verge of tears. It was always a fear for the two of them that was meant to be tucked away in each other’s presence, but now, if he’s alive…

There’s no leaving him, or any of the boys, behind.

Luke fights back his own tears as he unwinds their hands in favor of pulling Julie into his lap once again for a hug. “We can’t get out hopes up,” he reminds her with a rough voice. “But my heart is beating, and it’s beating for you, Julie.”

She somehow wraps herself around him tighter.

“My heart was always beating for you,” she informs him.

“I know. But I wanted to be able to beat back. Your heart was going to get tired at some point, wasn’t it?”

Neither of them dare to speak any more, both overthinking the implications of his final comment. He sniffles into her hair, and she fists her fingers into his shirt, and he can feel it: Their chests, pressed one and two against, heartbeats feeding into one another.

They go to find Alex after a long while of holding each other. The next morning, as he runs his fingers through her hair, both Julie and Luke notice that his nails have grown.

Tags: @willexx @unsaid-emily

#jatp #juke #jatp fanfic #juke fanfic #julie and the phantoms #i did a thing #otp: i think we make each other better #julie molina x luke patterson

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yourlocalfictionalenthusiast · 3 years

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IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART NINE

:Masterlist:

Warnings: swearing

A/N: It’s Unsaid Emily time, folks. Also sorry this took me forever to post, I’ve been sick. Feedback is always appreciated! <3

"This is fine."

You rambled quietly as you paced up and down Hollywood Boulevard.

The familiar sounds of the cars on the road and the conversations of people walking by calmed you down a little, but you were still dizzy trying to keep up with your own feet.

Alex, who was watching you carefully from a bus bench cleared his throat, making you stop in your tracks. "Was what I think was happening in there actually happening?"

"Yes." You said immediately. "No. Maybe? I don't know."

Alex stared at you for a minute before sighing deeply and pinching the bridge of his nose. "(Y/n), I mean this in the most loving way possible, but you need to get your shit together."

"What?" You sputtered. Alex was usually so sympathetic and understanding when it came to giving you advice, but as he took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, you prepared yourself for one of his 'big brother' lectures.

"I'm sorry, but you've been so disgustingly in love with each other your whole lives. Except you were the only one who realized it. Then that summer you guys were practically glued to each other, I thought that he finally figured it out too. I was just about to give Reg his twenty bucks..."

You shifted your weight as you thought back to that day at the beach, when you had stood there in the sand and let yourself think about what it would be like if Luke liked you back.

"But then he started ignoring you and being an idiot." Alex continued. "At first I thought that maybe he was just coming up with a way to tell you, but then it just never ended. It killed me to see how much it was hurting you, and I was all set to lock him in his guitar case."

You laughed a little at that and Alex smiled. “But judging by tonight, I think he realizes it now too.”

After spending so much time thinking Luke didn’t feel the same way, it was a reflex to try to deny it or come up with some excuse. But you realized that you really couldn’t anymore. You groaned loudly and plopped down on the bench.

“This isn’t fair.” You said. “I mean, I finally have an idea of what’s happening in his head just in time for us to die.. again.”

“That’s why you need to talk about it!’ Alex insisted. “Before anything else, you guys were best friends who told each other everything. Do you really want to cross over or whatever without telling him how you feel?”

Of course you didn’t. But you also didn't see the point of telling him if you were just going to disappear forever. What if you were misreading everything? Or what if you can’t figure out a way to play at the Orpheum and…?

You quickly pushed the thought out of your mind. You weren’t ready to think about any of that. With another groan, you leaned over onto Alex’s shoulder. “Al?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’ll ever stop having boy problems?”

Alex laughed and you couldn’t help but join in. You wanted to pause this moment in time and just stay here with your best friend, far away from all your problems. But then there was a bright light and suddenly Willie was standing on the sidewalk in front of you.

“Alex, can we talk?”

You sat up straight and looked between the two of them, raising your eyebrows at Alex in a silent question. He nodded and you gave him a reassuring smile before poofing away.

You wandered around the city for a while before heading back to the garage, frowning when you found it empty.

You knew that Reggie was probably inside with Ray or Carlos but Luke was usually always here at this time of the day. You looked over to the table to see Luke’s songbook sitting open and you frowned in confusion. Luke had been extra secretive with his songs since Julie read them at practice, so it was weird for it to be out in the open for anyone to see.

As you went to close it, you saw that it was turned to ‘Unsaid Emily’. You ran your finger over the words, your heart flipping as you looked at his little notes and scribbles in the margins. It looked like the edges of the paper were blotted with tears.

You now figured that he was at his parent’s and your heart ached for him. It was obvious from the way he disappeared to their house every moment he could that he wanted to reconnect with them but you didn’t know it was this bad. Waves of guilt washed over you. You knew he wasn’t mad at you, but you still felt a little guilty about pushing so hard about Bobby when all Luke wanted was for his parents to be proud of him.

You got an idea and gently ripped out the page, knowing that there was a finalized version in your journal that Luke could have. But you knew that his parents having the version with his own handwriting and little notes as he workshopped it would be a lot more meaningful.

You folded it up and placed it in your pocket before poofing out of the garage and into the school hallway. You made a beeline for Julie's locker, getting there just in time to see Nick walking away with a blush and a triumphant smile.

Before you could even say a word, Julie put her phone to her ear and opened her mouth to scold you for showing up at her school again but she couldn't stop smiling long enough to get the words out.

"So, what did I miss?" You teased, making Julie roll her eyes.

"Nick might've just asked me out." She shrugged, trying to seem casual. "And I might've said yes."

You cheered and folded your arms. "I told you so."

"Shut up." Julie laughed and shoved her hand through the air next to your shoulder. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Your smile faded a little, having forgotten about your plan for a moment. You cleared your throat and carefully unfolded the paper to show Julie.

“I need your help.”

You and Julie walked side by side up the Patterson’s driveway.

You rubbed the page between your fingers and it seemed to get heavier in your hands with every step. You had been so sure that this plan would work but now you were actually here, you felt like this might be a bad idea.

You and Luke just got back to being friends again. Maybe even something more now after last night. The last thing you wanted to do was mess any of that up.

But you knew how much he missed his family. Even if he never said it out loud, you knew that he regretted leaving them more than anything.

Julie seemed to sense your thoughts and smiled at you reassuringly as you reached the porch. You handed Julie the paper as went to ring the doorbell. But before she could, Luke phased in front of the door.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked, his eyes finding yours immediately.

Julie stepped forward a little. “I just, I wanted to know more about you guys so I asked (Y/n) to bring me here this time.”

“This time?” Luke repeated.

“We might’ve stopped by on your birthday.” She admitted.

“So you guys have been spying on me?” He scoffed at her. “After all your talks about boundaries?”

“This was my idea, Luke.” You explained, making him look over at you again. “I asked Julie to help because I’m worried about you.”

Luke’s jaw clenched slightly. “You don’t have to be.”

“Of course I do.” You said. “I understand. I know what it’s like to not be able to reach someone you love.”

Luke blinked rapidly, tears starting to brim in his eyes as he stared at you. He knew you were talking about your parents and Cece. But a little part of you meant him too, and how he had felt like a stranger to you for the better part of a year. “I wouldn’t even know what I’d say to her even if she could hear me.”

You pulled the song out of your pocket and smoothed out the paper before holding it out for him to see. “Maybe start with this.”

Luke instantly recognized it and there was a moment of heavy silence as he scanned the paper with his eyes before he slowly nodded. You handed it to Julie and pressed the doorbell, moving aside so she could stand on the welcome mat.

Luke fell back into the space next to you, watching the door with anticipation. A minute passed before it creaked open and Mitch stuck his head out. He greeted Julie and she introduced herself before clearing her throat.

“I believe you had a son named Luke?”

A look of pain crossed Mitch’s face but he nodded. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Your son’s band used to play in my family’s garage.” She said as she stroked the song between her fingers. “I came across this song that he wrote and I figured you might be interested.”

“Yes, of course.” Mitch opened the door and invited her in. You and Luke followed behind her closely. You looked all around the living room, smiling when your eyes fell on a picture that was propped up on a small table. It was taken on the day you both started high school. You were squishing Luke’s cheeks with your hand as he protested, although there was a bright smile on his face.

It warmed your heart to know that Emily had kept that picture after all this time. You looked back at Luke to see him already looking at you with an almost wistful look on his face.

Julie glanced at the picture before asking Mitch, “Do you have any other children?”

Mitch shook his head and the room got quiet for a second before Emily came in. “Did I hear the doorbell?”

Luke instantly tensed behind you, unconsciously taking a step back. You reached out and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before letting so just as fast. But before it could even fall back to your side, Luke wrapped it back around his.

You held onto him a little tighter than necessary, keeping him as close to you as possible because you couldn't even imagine how hard this moment was for him. Emily gave Julie a warm smile as she tucked herself into Mitch’s side.

“Julie lives in the place where Luke and the band used to rehearse.” He clarified. “She was just telling me that she found a song he wrote.”

“It’s about a girl named Emily.” Julie said as she looked down at the paper.

Emily gasped a little as she stepped forward slowly. “I’m Emily.”

“Then I think your son wrote this song for you.” Julie handed the song over and then stepped back slightly, giving them space to read it. The air became charged with emotion as they began crying, the paper shaking in Emily’s hands.

You knew the basics of what happened that night, but as you stood there, it was like a movie reel started playing and you could almost see Luke storming out, ignoring his mom calling out for him and running away until he got to the studio.

You remembered holding him in your arms later that night as he cried tears of frustration, sadness, and worry and before you knew it, you were doing it again. You dropped his hand and wrapped your arms around him and he immediately buried his head into your shoulder, sniffling quietly.

“Thank you.” You heard Emily say tearfully and you pulled away just enough to see her pressing the paper tightly against her chest.

Julie gave her a watery smile, wiping away tears of her own as she continued talking to them. Just as Emily laughed, Luke disappeared from your arms and you heard the sharp pop of him phasing away.

You looked at the spot where he was just standing and a part of you wanted to follow but you knew that he probably needed space. You followed Julie out the door and you walked beside each other in comfortable silence, each of you processing everything that just happened.

“Thank you for helping.” You said.

“Of course.” Julie smiled.

“So, when’s the date?” You teased as you wiggled your eyebrows.

“Remember what I said about shutting up?” She rolled her eyes but there was a bright smile on her face.

It was just after sunset when you got back to the house.

You couldn't remember the last time you had laughed as hard as you did when you were with Julie. It was still new to you, having a friend like her. You connected on so many levels and it only added to the guilt of keeping the secret about the stamps from her.

Just as you reached the walkway up to the front door, Julie nodded her head towards the porch where Luke was leaning against the railing. She mouthed ‘go’ before walking through the garden gate that led to the studio.

As soon as she was gone, you hopped up the stairs and cleared your throat. “I’m sorry. I know I overstepped and-”

“No, I just had to leave.” Luke stepped forward. “That was…I mean, how do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You just always know what I need.” He said. “I never really had any regrets other than running out on them. I’ve been wanting to do something about it but I didn’t know how.”

You smiled. “You would’ve done the same for me.”

“Still,” Luke insisted. There was that look again. The same one that he gave you on stage, the one you saw last night just before Alex came in. The one he gave you the night he ran away. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You almost whispered, only now realizing how close you had gotten. Luke was only a few feet in front of you, and he looked almost nervous. Just as he stopped in front of you, a jolt flashed across his chest, sending him backward into a pillar.

He groaned and you winced in sympathy as you raced up to him. “Are you okay?”

Luke nodded, but he looked a lot paler than usual. “We’re running out of time.”

Just then, Julie came storming up the walkway, her fists clenched at her sides. She didn’t even bother looking at either of you as she marched up the stairs and disappeared behind the door.

“I’m guessing Alex and Reg told her.” You said and looked back at Luke to see him rubbing the sore spot on his chest. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Even before you walked through the doors, you could feel the cloud of sadness, guilt, and regret hanging in the air. You couldn’t imagine how Julie was feeling right now. She had just gotten back into music again after losing her mom and now she was losing more important people and her band all at once.

You walked Luke over to the couch and plopped on the ground next to the coffee table, watching absentmindedly as Alex tried to balance his drumsticks on his nose. Then trying not to laugh when Julie came storming in and he fell to the floor.

“I think you broke Alex.” Reggie said.

The scowl on Julie’s face didn’t falter, and she looked pointedly at each of you.

“Do you guys want to cross over or what?” She asked, her arms crossed as you all stayed quiet. “Get it together!”

“They’re never going to let us play the Orpheum.” Luke said. “We’re nobody.”

“Our video is going viral, that counts for something!” Julie insisted. “This isn’t over. We were brought together for a reason, to help each other.”

You found yourself nodding along with what she was saying, her enthusiasm eating away at the feeling of hopelessness you’d been carrying around. You could tell by the slight smile on Reggie and Luke’s faces that they felt the same way.

“Yeah, but like Luke said, people don’t just play the Orpheum because they want to.” Alex said.

“People don’t.” She agreed, a hint of a smirk on her face. “But ghosts do.”

December 1994

It was a rainy night in L.A.

The flashes of lightning and occasional roar of thunder echoed through the garage so loudly that any hope you had of focusing on studying was long gone.

You sighed and shoved your textbooks into your bag before leaning back on the couch and staring at the ceiling. The stress of studying had started to give you a headache but you felt a little more relaxed as you stared at white Christmas lights hung across the loft's railing.

There was a loud bang on the side of the building and for a second, you thought it was just another clap of thunder. But then the garage doors swung open.

You were frozen in fear for a moment before you made out Luke’s figure in the dim light. He didn’t seem to see you as he stormed in and threw his backpack on the ground, making its contents spill out. It wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he spun around with wide eyes.

“Hey.” You said. “What are you doing here so late?”

Luke's eyes held yours for a minute before he slowly crossed the room and climbed onto the couch next to you. He wiggled around until he was comfortable on his stomach with his head in your lap and his arms tucked under his chest.

“Rough day?” You asked, resisting the urge to laugh as he let out a deep breath and sank further into you. You could feel his pulse racing and his breath was uneven, like he just ran all the way from home.

You felt your stress from before disappear completely as you stared down at him. Ever since you realized your feelings for him, it was hard to not overthink these kinds of moments.

Before you could stop yourself, you reached a hand down and brushed his messy, slightly damp hair away from his forehead.

His breath hitched and you mentally cursed yourself.

It was no secret that Luke was a touchy person. Ever since you were kids, he had a habit of making people his personal pillow or just absentmindedly grabbing people’s hands and shoulders. But maybe this was a step too far.

Before you could pull away, Luke nuzzled his head back into your hand until you got the hint and softly ran your fingers through his hair. The sinking feeling in your stomach turned into butterflies and you cleared your throat.

“Seriously, you okay?” You whispered.

Luke being this quiet worried you. Normally he would be rambling on about a new song or complaining about school. But now he just seemed deflated.

You gripped his arm with your free hand, muttering a soft ‘hey’ until he finally turned over. His green eyes flickered open and you saw that they were bright red, along with his nose.

“Oh, Lu.” Your heart sank. “What happened?”

Luke shook his head, tucking the side of his face into your hand.

“You feel warm.” You said as felt his forehead with your other hand. “Luke, please tell me what happened?”

You knew that if he wanted to tell you, he would, and you shouldn't push him. But you had only seen Luke cry a handful of times in your life, and it always broke your heart.

It felt like hours before he finally spoke, his voice rough and heavy. “I ran away.”

“You-?”

A dozen emotions hit you all at once. The first being disbelief, then anger, then sympathy. Of course, you knew how much his parents not supporting his dream was killing him, and he had mentioned running away before. But you never thought he would actually go through with it.

“What happened?” You asked quietly.

“I failed another test.” Luke said as he sat up, his voice getting a little louder and tears returning to his eyes as he ranted. “I just spaced on studying and she freaked out, threatened to make me quit again or sell my guitar and I just kinda lost it. I tried, (Y/n), I just-”

“Okay, hey, it’s okay.” You ran your hand through his hair again in an attempt to calm him down. You would freak out about how very obvious you were acting later but he clearly had a fever and looked like he was about to start crying again. “You need to get some rest. We’ll figure everything out tomorrow, I promise.”

“Stay here with me?” He asked and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest but you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You went to get up and get a sleeping bag from the loft so he could take the couch but his hand gripped yours. He let go a second later as he leaned back, propping himself up against the armrest and gesturing for you to lay down next to him.

You knew that your face must’ve been bright red but you carefully climbed into the space between his body and the back of the couch. You slung your arm around his torso and rested your head against his chest.

After a few minutes, Luke started snoring quietly. You stared up at him, trying to resist the urge to pinch yourself. It wasn’t the first time you and Luke had cuddled, not by a long shot. There were countless sleepovers when you were kids and even during movie nights as you got older.

But this was different.

Any other night, you probably wouldn’t be able to sleep with all the thoughts racing around in your brain about what all of this meant. But between the soft glow of the lights, the sound of the rain hitting the roof and Luke’s steady heartbeat beneath you, you felt yourself drifting off.

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @charliegillespiewife @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody @givemebooksorgivemedeath @sunsetcurvedotmp3 @askgeoff @mayleenicole5676 @puppy11148 @vampire7595 @wackyworrieruniverse @reallysparklychaos @lovelydaydreams15 @rachmmb

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13 @sunsetcurvej

Let me know if you want to be added!

#luke patterson #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson x reader #Alex Mercer #Reggie Peters #julie molina #jatp fanfic #jatp

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ssa-sugar-tits · 4 years

Text

Last Words

Request: this one

Spencer Reid x Reader where they both get shot and think they’ll die in eachothers arms and confess feeLinGs and than wake up in the hospital👀

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Bau!Reader

Content warnings: near death, blood, gunshot wounds, hospital, murderer mention

"Put your hands where I can see them." Spencer inches closer and closer to the unsub while you cover him from behind. You know you should've waited for backup, but you couldn't risk letting this guy get away. First mistake.

"Bryce, my name is Agent Y/L/N. We just want to talk to you about what you did. Put the gun down like Dr. Reid asked and we can do this peacefully."

What was certain from the profile was that he wouldn't give himself up, no matter what. You and Spencer decided to stall him until the rest of the team got there. Second mistake.

"We know what your mother did to you. It was awful, nobody deserves that. But killing these women isn't the answer. Agent Y/L/N is right, you can still turn yourself in."

The profile didn't give much to go on. It was incomplete and you went to apprehend him anyway. You didn't even consider a partner. Third mistake.

"You killed those women because they-"

You're cut off by the gunshot that pierces your shoulder from behind. You collapse and the world starts to blur. You feel like... well like you've been shot. All you hear are your own screams and Spencer's as he runs to your side, somehow momentarily forgetting there are two psychopaths with guns in the room. Only focusing on you.

"Y/N!" You could see his heart shatter. Tears well in his eyes and he cradles your head in his hands. Crimson blood soaks his vest and covers his arms while you fight to stay with him. He murmurs frantically, voice breaking and heart racing.

"You're going to be okay Y/N. I'm going to get help. You're going to be just fine."

That's when the second unsub laughs and you both turn, suddenly remembering the rest of the situation.

"No Y/N you aren't. And neither is Dr. Reid."

Spencer's grasp on you tightens as she points the gun at him and fires again. His body weight all falls beside you and he struggles, trying to grasp at his phone but it slips right out of his blood soaked hands. Both of your blood starts pooling around you and the two unsubs leave you there to die. Laying on the ground, covered in each other's wounded final state, you know what you have to do.

"Sp-Spence..." Doing your best to ignore the worst pain you'd ever felt, you groan and position yourself to face him. Even in the face of death he was so beautiful. You'd never guess he was thinking the same thing about you while holding on to his final breaths.

"Sa- agh!... Save your... e-energy Y/N." He starts to cough and blood trickles down his jaw. Your chest is tightening and the metallic taste stabs at your tongue, threatening to worsen by the second.

"I... I love you. A-Always have..." You finally admit it to him, after so long. His eyes meet yours weakly and he moves his hand to cup your face. The movement prompts a pained groan from him and a series of soft whimpers.

"I love... I love y-you too. God, I-I always did..."

Trying to muster a smile, you fail and cry his name out of fear.

"Sp-Spencer..."

This is the end. You're forced to accept that this is how you die, on the field in Spencer Reid's arms. There are worse ways to go. Using all the strength he has left, he brings his lips to yours. It's soft. Fragile and delicate at first but quickly escalates. You both scream and wince against each other but this is the last chance you'll ever get to do this. Your mouths meet again, this time Spencer brushes his tongue against your bottom lip begging for entry. Tongues dancing around each other, tasting each other and tears melting together. The two of you try to messily proclaim all the unsaid passion, intimacy, and tension that's built up over the years. Trying to say everything never said in one kiss. Arms wrapped around each other and melting into one another, everything goes black. Spencer's the only one still somehow managing through the pain, his eyes still fluttering barely open. Resting his head against your forehead wishing you'd done things differently. Until the world goes black for him too.

Your eyes open and immediately shut, the bright light blinding you.

"Oh shit. I think I'm dead."

Emily's laughter echos through your ear and you realize you're in a hospital. More alert now, your eyes dart around the room looking for Spencer.

"Where's Reid? Did he make it? Please tell me he did Em."

"Slow your roll babes. He's in the next room, behind that curtain." She motions to a divider hanging in the room. "Morgan's sitting with him. JJ, Hotch, Rossi, and Penelope are outside. I should let them know you're up. I'm glad you're okay Y/N."

"Wait what about the unsubs?" You ask before she goes.

"We got them, I'll explain later. For now though, after the others come and see you we'll let you get some rest." She smiles and goes to get the team. You're peppered with phrases of relief, hugs, and smiles but Spencer still hasn't woken. After what seems like hours, JJ whispers with a nurse and the divider is pulled back. You look at the man you proclaimed your love to while you thought you were dying in his arms, who to your disbelief loved you back. He's the first to speak.

"We have a lot to talk about, don't we?"

"You mean our love confessions and half dead makeout session?"

"Technically the half dead thing isn't entirely accurate, but... yes that is what I was referring to."

"Well now that we're not dying. Take me to dinner?"

Slightly grimacing and rubbing his shoulder, he grins at you.

"I'd love to Y/N."

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n

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raiseyourvoicetotherain · 4 years

Text

Happy Anniversary -- A jatp fic

Here’s my first Julie and the Phantoms fic, inspired by this post. I hope you enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Maybe we need to put ourselves in danger?” Reggie said, breaking the silence that had lingered over the studio for longer than he was comfortable. “Last time, Julie thought we were all going to disappear forever. Maybe if she thinks that again, she can figure out how she did it before.”

Alex broke out of his blank stare to turn his head to Reggie. He stared at the bass player just long enough to give him time to really think about what he’d just said. When Reggie didn’t seem to get it, Alex said, “Seriously? We’ll just go back to the Hollywood Ghost Club and ask Caleb for another stamp, then, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s not do that,” Reggie responded quietly, sagging back into his chair. He put a hand to his chest and started to rub it a little, remembering the pain of the jolts the stamp had caused. “But maybe there’s some other way to put us in danger.”

Then Alex turned his head to Julie and gave a look like he couldn’t answer another silly question and he needed her to take this one.

“You want to put a ghost in danger?” Julie asked Reggie skeptically.

Reggie went quiet when he saw her point.

Flynn looked between Julie and the seemingly empty chair she was talking to. “What’s going on?” she asked her best friend.

“Nothing helpful,” Luke said with a roll of his eyes.

Knowing Flynn hadn’t heard that, Julie—less sarcastically—answered, “Nothing that’s going to work.”

Julie and Luke had spent the last hour trying to get their hands to touch, but every time their hands got close, every time they thought, maybe this time, their hands passed right through each other and the two would sigh. Julie could see Luke get more frustrated each time.

Ever since the night of The Orpheum show, the band had spent a lot of downtime trying to work out how to repeat whatever magic is was that had made Julie able to touch the boys, and Flynn able to see them.

Flynn hadn’t originally gone back to Julie’s after the show, but when she’d gotten home, she realized that Julie had seemed fine at the show, but there was no way she was going to be okay when she got home to the studio. So Flynn had gone straight down to the garage when she got to Julie’s and the first thing she noticed was how bright the room was. Then she saw Julie wasn’t alone, she could see the boys with her in a group hug.

“Oh, my god,” Flynn almost screamed when she realized what was happening. But no sooner had she spoken the words and Julie turned around, that the boys vanished.

Ever since that night, Julie had been trying to figure out how to make the boys visible when they weren’t playing—so far, she had only managed slight flickers as her hands passed through Luke’s. She hadn’t been able to touch him since.

Julie looked at Luke now, knowing he wanted just as bad as she did to recreate that magic. He wanted to hold her hand, feel her arms around him like he had that night.

He reached out again for her hand, only for his to slip right through it again. He gave a frustrated groan and turned away from her. He didn’t usually get like this—he actually hadn’t felt like this since he’d found out Bobby had stolen his music—but right now he wanted to hit something. He couldn’t remember being more frustrated with himself in all his life and afterlife.

Not sure what else to do, Luke stormed out through the garage door. Julie tried to call his name, but he kept going until he was outside.

Alex came and stood behind Julie, both looking at where the guitarist had walked out. After a quiet moment, Alex sighed. “So, do you wanna . . .?”

Snapping out of her own frustration, Julie said, “Yeah, yeah I got it.”

Julie walked outside to talk to Luke, and Alex was relieved he didn’t have to go. He’d been trying to support Luke through this, but he never seemed to know the right thing to say. Alex hated it, he was usually the one to know what to say to make things better, but he didn’t now. He didn’t understand what Luke was going through. He was still sneaking around with Willie, trying to work out how to free him from Caleb, but at least when Alex was able to steal a moment away with his dream boy, he could hold Willie in his arms.

Outside, Julie closed the garage door behind her. “Hey, you okay?”

Luke, who had begun throwing stones into the garden, frustrated, sighed and turned to look at her. “You know I want to be able to do this right?”

“Of course, so do I,” Julie said softly. “But even if we don’t figure it out, it doesn’t change . . .”

“Change what?” Luke encouraged when she paused.

With a sigh, Julie only answered, “Nothing.”

Then Luke looked frustrated again. “Nothing,” he repeated. “Right.”

“No, Luke, that’s not what I—” but he poofed out before she could finish.

Reggie stuck his head through the garage door. “Where’s he going? We’ve got practice.”

He was yanked back inside by Alex. “We weren’t listening,” Alex lied after sticking his head through where Reggie’s had just been.

“It’s okay,” Julie answered. Still facing away from the boys, she wiped a tear from her face. “I think I know where he’s going.”

Emily was in the kitchen when Luke poofed in. She was drying the clean dishes to be put away and her hair was pulled back.

The first time Luke had seen her after coming back as a ghost, he was shocked by her now completely grey hair, but what hurt him the most was the look in her eyes. They were as sad as when he used to sneak by the house before he died, but they had an added layer of looking lost.

Now she looked . . . not happier, but definitely not as lost. Luke knew it was Julie who had done that. Bringing his mother that song had changed the whole mood in the house. A huge amount of his guilt had been lifted when Julie had come by, and now it seemed some of Emily’s had been, too.

“Good afternoon, my beautiful wife,” Mitch said, walking into the kitchen. Luke saw he was holding something behind his back and when Emily turned around to greet her husband, he pulled out the fresh bunch of dahlias. “Happy anniversary.”

“Oh, darling they’re beautiful,” Emily said, taking the bouquet from him. “Happy anniversary.”

They shared an affectionate kiss and Luke smiled—forty-five years and despite all their tragedy, they were still so in love. Emily put the flowers in a vase with water and Mitch went to change from his golf clothes. Luke didn’t know, but their anniversary had been such a non-event since he’d died. But with new life in the house since Julie’s visit, Mitch felt compelled to acknowledge the day once again.

As he watched his mom continue to put away dishes, Luke looked past her to the window sill, and saw a folded up piece of paper tucked in the window tracks. She took that bit of paper everywhere with her now.

“I could really use some mom advice right now,” Luke said, sitting on the kitchen bench, leaning his back to the wall. “Julie is . . . incredible. She’s insanely talented, and caring. I don’t have to tell you that you’d like her. I love her, Mom, but I don’t know if I should tell her. I can’t touch her, I can’t hold her—or kiss her. I think she feels the same way I do, but is it fair to ask her for something so complicated? Should I encourage her to go for something normal and just let her be happy with Nick instead?” he said the name with spited jealously. “I don’t know if I could stick around for that.”

Emily continued to clean the kitchen and he wished so badly that she would respond and help him decide what to do. But after a moment, he knew he didn’t need her to.

“I know what you’d say,” Luke spoke with a little smile and shake of his head. “You’d ask me if writing and playing music with her was worth it. That if nothing ever changed, could I be happy with things the way they are?” After a quiet moment, he looked over at his mom. “And the answer is yes, it will always be yes. I’d go the rest of eternity never getting to hold her again, as long as I still got to write music and perform with her.”

Emily finished putting the dishes away and grabbed the coffee pot to fill with water.

“If you could only know, I never let you go,” he sang quietly to her. But as he sang, he realized something new—his mother was singing along with him. Luke sat up straighter, thinking he must have imagined what he heard.

He tried again to be sure. “If I could take us back, if I could just do that.” He wasn’t going crazy, she was singing the tune. Not only was she singing it to the right melody—a melody she’d never heard—but she was singing in time to him. When he stopped singing, she stopped and looked up, surprised to catch herself singing at all.

“And write in every empty space, the words I love you in replace,” Luke kept going, hopping off the bench and walking up behind her as she put a now full pot of coffee on to brew.

She continued to sing with him and he looked at the piece of paper in the window sill with the Unsaid Emily lyrics written on it, still in the same spot. He continued to sing with his mom as he reached over to grab the paper.

“And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave.” Her back was still turned when he tapped the paper out of its place and onto the bench.

Emily turned around to the light noise the bit of paper made when it landed. When she walked over to pick it up, Luke let out a breath, causing the paper to drop to the floor. Emily pulled her hand back, shocked. After she bent down to pick it up, she started to turn it in her hands, looking at it in curiosity.

Luke wasn’t really sure how, but he knew that his mother knew he was there. He reached up a hand and brushed his fingertips on her cheek. Emily gasped lightly, and brought her hand to her cheek.

Her eyes lit up with a joy he hadn’t seen before. Her hand went straight through his now, but for a moment, she could feel his touch.

Luke poofed back into the studio to find it was only the boys. “Where’s Julie?” he asked immediately.

“In her room, why?”

Without answering, Luke poofed into Julie’s room. She was on her bed studying and almost jumped off in fright.

“Jeez, Luke,” she cried. “What are you doing? I could have been getting changed!”

He ignored her anger. “Julie, listen, the coolest thing just happened.”

Whatever happened at his parents’ house, he was so excited about it that Julie realized she couldn’t stay mad at him with that cute, eager look on his face. “Okay, what’s so important?”

Then there was a knock on the door and Julie’s dad interrupted them.

“You okay, honey? Thought I heard a scream?” Ray asked, leaning through the doorway.

“Oh, that,” Julie panicked for an answer. “Just homework frustration, you know? High school.”

Luke stood around impatiently, thinking Ray would leave after that, but then he walked into the room completely and sat on the chair across from Julie’s bed. Why did Ray have to choose this of all moments to have a catch up, bonding session?

When Ray finally walked out of the room what felt like an eternity later, Luke sat on Julie’s bed, ignoring the books and school work she had to move before he sat on them.

“Okay, so I went to my mom and dad’s,” Luke began.

Julie smiled sadly at him. “I figured as much.”

“No, listen, while I was there, I—” Before Luke could continue, they were interrupted again by Reggie and Alex poofing in.

“You guys need to come outside, right now,” Reggie said.

Luke waved them off in annoyance. “Not now, guys, okay?”

“No, really, dude,” Alex said more seriously. “There’s someone here, you need to come out to the studio.”

Alex’s tone stopped Luke short of telling him off again. Who could be here that was so important? Julie got up off her bed and walked downstairs. The boys all followed her instead of poofing out.

When they got to the studio, Luke couldn’t believe his eyes.

Emily had caught herself singing all afternoon and wondered how she knew the music. After the folded up paper with her son’s handwriting all over it had fallen to the floor, she thought of Julie—the precious little girl who had brought her son back to her with that piece of paper.

The first time Emily had read the lyrics, she realized that she hadn’t lost her son like she thought she had. She thought she’d lost him long before that devastating night the police lights had lit up her living room. But with Julie’s actions, she now knew that if not for the tragedy, she might one day have had him back, and that meant the world to her.

Now she was singing to the lyrics she had only ever read. Maybe she’d heard the tune somewhere before. Then she got thinking about it. Perhaps Julie had performed the song before she knew what it was—or she might have even performed some of Luke’s other songs. After making herself a fresh coffee, Emily went to sit at the computer and searched for Julie.

It took less than a minute for Emily to find the girl—once Emily found the right keywords, Julie and the Phantoms was the first hit.

“Stand Tall at the Orpheum,” Emily muttered to herself. “Impressive.” Emily didn’t have to be a musician to know that a performance at the Orpheum was a pretty important event.

“Hey, Mitch, honey,” she called to her husband. He came into the room with his own fresh cup of coffee.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Julie played the Orpheum a few weeks ago—I thought you might watch it with me.”

Emily didn’t have to say anything else—they were both thinking the same thing. They were going to support Julie as best they could, to make up for not supporting Luke when they had the chance.

As they both watched the video start, Emily admired Julie’s beautiful speech. The young girl hadn’t mentioned that her mom had passed away, but Emily could tell now, by the way she spoke about her mom on stage, that Julie had suffered that same dreadful loss.

When Julie started performing, Emily and Mitch both began to smile. She was so talented, just like Luke. Definitely not for the first time, Emily wished more than anything that she’d had the opportunity to see Luke perform. If he’d had half the spark and talent that Julie showed, she would have loved to watch him.

Suddenly, Julie wasn’t alone on stage, a drummer and his kit seemed to flash in out of nowhere.

Emily looked at Mitch in surprise. “That’s very fancy,” he noted. But then his eyebrows creased together as he looked closer at the monitor.

Emily looked back herself and saw right away what her husband had. That drummer looked an awful lot like—

Another flash and another performer appeared on stage. “It can’t be,” Emily said.

Mitch and Emily looked at each other, shocked, but also realizing the same thing—if that was Alex and Reggie, did that mean their son would be there too?

Both of them turned back to the monitor, their eyes glued as they watched another figure flash in and out. Emily couldn’t believe it, she must have imagined it. Then the figure flashed in again, still too quick to be sure, but enough that it gave her hope.

Emily’s heart raced and Mitch put an arm around her—his heart had almost stopped.

“I’m going out of my mind!”

There he was.

They watched the rest of the performance, completely speechless. Every second the camera showed Luke on screen, Emily’s heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t even questioning the how or the why, she was just so happy to see her son again.

At the end of the video, Alex, Reggie and Luke flashed off screen the same way they’d flashed in and Mitch looked at his wife, who was still staring at the screen. She had tears in her eyes and he watched them start to roll down her cheek, then she looked at him.

Without a word, Mitch went to grab his car keys and Emily followed him out to the car. Almost fifty years of loving her and she still didn’t have to say a word for him to know what she needed.

They drove in silence as Mitch tried to remember where he was going. It had been over twenty-five years since he’d taken Luke to band practice, but he was sure he still remembered the way.

When they arrived at the house they hadn’t seen in years, Mitch pulled up to curb out front and turned the car off. Emily didn’t move for a few moments.

“Do you really think he’s here?” Emily asked, staring down where she could just see the roof of the garage. “What if . . .”

Mitch took her hand. “There’s only one way to know.”

They got out of the car and walked down the drive.

The large white garage doors were closed, but Emily knew if the boys were anywhere, it was in there. So Mitch opened the door.

The studio had definitely changed since he’d last seen it. A fresh coat of paint and a grand piano he was sure hadn’t been there the last time he’d dropped Luke off were the most notable changes. Mitch remembered the fights he’d gotten into with Luke every time he had come to pick his son up. That boy never wanted to leave.

When Luke had first started practicing with his band, his parents never thought he would want to drop out of school to pursue music. They thought it would just be a high school hobby, and had always treated it as such. Mitch had thought many times over the years how different things might have been if they’d taken it half as seriously as Luke did.

Alex and Reggie sat up, stiff as boards when they saw who had walked into the garage. They looked at each other, staying completely quiet, as if Emily and Mitch could hear them anyway. Not sure what else to do, they poofed up to Julie’s room.

There was no one in the garage when they walked in, but that didn’t stop Emily from saying through tears, “Luke?”

When nothing happened, Emily thought about going up to the house to look for Julie. Then she heard someone walk in and turned around.

Alex and Reggie stayed just outside when Julie walked in with Luke at her heels — they both froze at the sight of his parents.

Luke took a step and stood directly beside Julie. They instinctively grabbed hands, so caught up in the shock of who was in front of them, they didn’t even notice that they were actually holding hands.

“Mom?” Luke said, tears in his eyes.

Emily gasped and put a hand to her mouth. She was looking at him—at him. “Luke?” she said with a sob.

Luke and Julie looked at her in shock, then down at their interlocked hands, then back to Emily.

Family, Julie realized. That feeling of family was all she was thinking of in that moment. How much her family—including her found one—meant to her, how much she loved them, how much Luke loved his.

Emily walked over towards her son, tears streaming. She still didn’t care how—she just wanted to know it was real. She reached out and touched his arm, and she could feel it. He really was there.

“Mom, I—”

Luke was cut off when his mother wrapped her arms around him, crying with overwhelming emotion. He wrapped his other arm around her, not daring to let go of Julie’s hand in case the magic went away. Julie wiped away tears and Emily pulled her in as well. Mitch walked over and wrapped himself around all of them. Emily’s legs gave out then as all her energy had been taken by her tears. Luke carried her down until they were on their knees.

Then he felt Alex and Reggie join them. Emily looked at them, so happy to see her son’s chosen family here as well.

My beautiful boy, Emily thought. Oh, how I’ve missed you.

Even if the magic never worked again, Luke would never be able to repay Julie for this moment. She was his shining star, his savior—and he would love her forever. In that moment, surrounded by all of his family, Luke had never felt so at peace.

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I hope this was alright, please let me know, maybe share it if you enjoyed it? I really liked writing it. If you want to see more stuff, drop me some ideas, and definitely check out my pinned post for more stuff by me. You can also bookmark this story on ao3 here. Thanks for reading x

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #fanfic #fan fiction #fic #luke jatp #luke patterson #unsaid emily #julie molina #julie jatp #ao3

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clarawatson · 3 years

Text

Summary: Derek Morgan proposes a simple question after a particularly bad case: “If you could bring anyone here, at this moment, who would it be?” Words: 1017 Trigger Warnings: Aaron Hotchner laughs.

A/N: so I found this file from before I started writing Quiet Birds when I wasn’t sure where it was going to go. I was just writing indulgent fanfiction that only I would see. But I thought this jet scene from one of Mom’s first cases with the BAU would be fun to look at.

~~~~~

“If you could bring anyone here, at this moment, who would it be?” Morgan asks after a particularly tough case. No one’s sleeping, or listening to music, or even pretending to wind down. JJ looks up with a soft smile on her face.

“Emily Dickinson, she’d be so fun to talk to,” she says. Hotch hums in agreement, but it’s Prentiss that frowns.

“Are we bringing them on the jet? Wouldn’t she like, freak out, no one’s been flying in her lifetime, right?” Prentiss says.

“I’d invite Einstein,” Reid piques up, oblivious to the rest of the conversation. Rossi deadpans him, and you can’t help but nod an agreement if just to make him feel better.

“Ice-T,” Morgan says and you know, at that point, he’s just trying to lighten the mood.

“Ringo Star,” Hotch adds.

“Of course you’d invite him,” Rossi grumbles, but there’s a smile ghosting his face.

“Amy Lee,” Prentiss says. Immediately you find yourself agreeing with her.

“Heck yeah,” you respond excitedly, finding another Evanescence fan. Emily cocks her head at you, but she knows she’s found someone to listen to dramatically sad and beautiful music to.

“Do they have to be real?” Rossi poses, and you find Morgan thinking about it.

“No.”

“Jack Ryan.” There’s a collective murmur and then Hotch says.

“Which one?”

“Harrison Ford.”

“Hotch wore those videos out,” you comment. “Dad had them in this box out the back and he only ever brought them through when Hotch was sleeping in the guest room. I swear he can quote them back to front.” He opens his mouth to prove you right and you cover his mouth with your hand.

“Who’d you bring?” JJ asks, leaning forward curiously.

You think about giving them a dumb answer, like Captain Kirk or Princess Leia, but you know what your answer is.

“Felix,” you say and a curious hush falls across the plane. Hotch peels your hand off his mouth.

“Felix hated flying,” he says. You shrug, thinking about seeing your husband again after all this time.

“He’d put up with it to meet the team, though.”

Hotch throws his head back on the chair. “Ok, ok, you’re right. He’d charm this team right off their feet and then he’d convince Strauss he can do my job better than me and take over.” You lean back on the chair and pout at him.

“That would be such a shame.”

“Who’s Felix?” JJ asks.

“Dead husband,” you say dryly almost immediately, throwing everyone off guard. Hotch watches you intently, then shrugs.

“First off, he’d hate that Dave’s here because Dave’s a ‘cool kid’,” Hotch forms too many air quotes with his fingers. “He’d love JJ.”

“Oh, for sure, he would have died for someone to talk to the media for him.” The cause of your husband’s death floats in the unsaid implication that he died because he didn’t have one. “Morgan?”

“Adored, would have pushed him to have his own team.”

It’s involuntary that you start to laugh. The idea of Felix pushing Morgan to have his own team… He’d done the same thing to Fornell, and when Fornell hadn’t gotten the hint he’d made tiny voodoo like dolls and stuck them all over his desk. You can tell Hotch is thinking it too, because he walks his fingers across his arm and dissolves into a fit of giggles.

“He made dolls of teams when he wanted to drop hints,” Rossi explains. You and Hotch are too far gone with fits of giggles to stop and explain. You clutch your chest as you try to calm, wiping the tears away from your eyes.

“Prentiss,” Hotch finally says when he gets his breath back.

“Oh, work wife. For sure. Bread and butter.” You think of all the goth things Felix had in storage, when he used to dye his hair black every weekend, how his college room looked like the inside of a witches cauldron.

“Spencer?”

“Adopted. He would have created a room dedicated to Spencer, he’d go buy a granny flat just so he’d know Spencer was sleeping somewhere safe.”

Hotch nods, “Remember when someone told him children ask six hundred questions a day and he worried he wouldn’t answer any of them so he just, read facts books for six months straight?”

“That’s not something someone just forgets.” You’re pretty sure you’ve still got all those little facts tucked away in your brain somewhere. “Huh! Garcia!”

“Garcia would be his spirit animal,” Hotch pinches the bridge of his nose. “If Felix came here, right now, I’d give my job to him in a heartbeat.”

“You know he wouldn’t accept that,” you whisper lowly. “He’d be so mad at you he’d yell at you to see your worth.” You dramatically shake your finger at him, face squished up like Felix used to do at school. Hotch shakes his back, face scrunched up in return, and for a moment you’re teenagers again. Even the team are grinning at your interaction.

“Is this Felix Garza we’re talking about?” Morgan asks. “Never be the source of work coming into your home, Felix?”

You turn to him, nodding.

“Yeah, he had an FBI pep talk day at his house when I was training. It was in DC, I remember because I was supposed to go back to my hotel room but he insisted, said the lasagna—“

“Was the best thing he’s ever seen anyone create,” you finish. Morgan nods.

“You did that?”

“God no,” you laugh. “Haley’s recipe, Felix’s mom’s handiwork, but that was my dining table so it was my lasagna.”

“He told us that work always has a way of following us home, but we have to ensure that we’re never the ones to bring it through the front door.”

“Or the back,” you add.

“Or your wife will kill you and make it look like an accident,” Hotch finishes, which seems to be quite true considering his situation. You rub his arm comfortingly and the jet falls into silence. But hey, you’ve all had a good laugh.

Well, at least you and Hotch.

#Quiet Birds AU #Quiet Birds BTS #Who'd have thought that would be a thing #Aaron Hotchner x reader #lol this was back when Quiet Birds was going to be a Gone Girl esque fanfic

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marvelousell · 4 years

Text

The Agreement (Part 13.)

Pairing(s): frat boy!fwb!Tom x reader, frat boy!Harrison x reader

Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them.

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: Sooo much things, there were actually more scenes for this part but I split it for another chapter so I could start with the ideas for the 2 different endings🤷🏼‍♀️ (kinda already know what I will do for Tom🤫). Well hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful Friday! ❤️

Warnings: mentions of smut, swearing, mentions of alcohol, angst if you squint

Add yourself to my tag list || Masterlist

< Previous Part

I broke the rules way before we even set them and before we agreed on anything.

Tom stared at the message you sent, shocked, his mouth dry with a breath stuck in his throat from the words that you have written. He couldn’t bring his fingers to the screen to text you back.

He didn’t know what to think or say to you in return, thinking that maybe it’s the best to ignore it. Happiness filled his body, heart pounding fast from the thought that you felt the same. Once he didn’t care if a girl had a boyfriend, it in fact grew his confidence and ego knowing that girls were more into him than their own partners. Now it didn’t seem right even if he was in love with you and wanted to actually be the person he truly is with a girl he genuinely likes.

The message haunted him, not letting him rest. His figure was turning in bed, groaning from the nervousness that kept his body and mind awake this late. Tom was always a calm guy sleeping peacefully every night, he didn’t care about the heartbreaks and tears he caused to many girls. He now knew how it felt, the thoughts about numerous girls and his blindness made him feel sick to his stomach. If only he wasn’t stuck in his own world, surrounded with the influence from his frat members and a heartbreak from a girl in who he saw everything, things would be fine nowadays. What should he do now? Apologize to every girl to make it better so he could sleep calmly at night? Probably not because most of them didn’t want to see him. They were always loud and clear that he was a total ass.

“What are you doing?” Tom asked, looking at the redhead that was getting a bit too comfortable in his bed after the long and rough sex they had.

“Going to sleep?” She responded, clutching the sheets to her chest.

“I don’t think so love.” He breathed out a chuckle, grabbing his boxers that were discharged near his chair.

“What?” She did know who Tom was and what people talked about him and his frat, but she still didn’t want to believe it hoping she would maybe be the one to blow his mind.

“Grab your things and go home.” Tom’s cold voice sent chills down her spine, he was into this a few minutes ago what happened now?

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Did I stutter? Here are your clothes, get dressed and go. What part don’t you understand?” He threw the clothes on her, her eyes fixed on his face. She could literally kill him with her stare in that moment.

“You’re such a fucking asshole. I thought you liked me.” Her movements were fast, she was ashamed, the feeling of being used disgusted her. How could he be so cold?

“Liked you? Love, things don’t go like this. What made you think you were special Mckenna?” Tom slipped into his bed, tired from the sex and the alcohol in his system.

“It’s Mikaela and fuck off. People are really right about you, you’re an egocentric prick that thinks he could have anyone he wants. One day you will realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and that using girls is going to cost you but it will be too late.”

“I got you tonight didn’t I?” Tom joked and laughed at her words, making Mikaela more furious and sad. She just remained silent, realizing that he was to stupid to get what she was saying.

“Hey, just be quiet my frat mates are sleeping or something and you can also lock the door when you leave.” The only answer he got was a loud bang that roared in his room, the door almost breaking as she slammed it.

That words got to his brain now. She was definitely right it was too late.

Tom wasn’t the only one that was unable to sleep that night. You were on Harrison’s chest nestled close to him, eyes closed but you didn’t sleep at all like he thought you were. Your chest tightened after the realization that you won’t get a text back from Tom. Maybe you screwed everything up now? Maybe you should have been happy that he was back into your life as a friend and leave it there, you already had someone that fulfilled your dreams. It was just a maybe.

Harrison was the third person awake. He had his arm around you, so happy to know that things were fine between the two of you. Somehow a little feeling didn’t let him close his eyes. He was focused on your breathing and your arms that hugged him tightly like you were afraid he will escape. Everything about you made him feel content and calm. You were his safe place and the love you gave him made him feel like a whole new person. Harrison loved you, he really did but he couldn’t comprehend why Emily occupied his mind tonight. He tried to convince himself it was only because he didn’t saw her in a long time and the conversation, you and everything was too much for him in one night. You could hear him exhaling, dropping his palm to your hair caressing it gently. A small smile formed on your lips, knowing that after all he was there for you and you should be there for him too.

It was 2 in the morning and both you and Harrison almost drifted to sleep, but the sounds of receiving a message made you wide awake again. Your heartbeat sped up just from the thought of Tom, and Harrison’s stopped right at that moment not knowing from who it was. It was his phone, his movements were slow because he didn’t want to wake you up. Disappointment replaced the excitement but curiosity was eating you alive mostly. Who was texting him that late at night? She was the only one that you could think of and when you heard him laughing quietly you couldn’t stay still anymore in the same position. Both Tom and Harrison were making you confused. It was hard to choose what you needed in your life.

“Good morning to you too. Did someone steal your morning coffee?”

“Hilarious Anna, look at me I’m crying from laughter.”

“Why so sour today? You know your little neighbour Emma is trying with a lemonade stand? She needs some more lemons there you could definitely help her.” Anna joked, waiting for your mouth to curve into a smile after her stupid joke but unfortunately nothing changed, your mouth still set in a hard line.

“I didn’t sleep well.” You replied in a monotone voice.

“Troubles in paradise?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows waiting for you to say anything related to Harrison or Tom.

“You could say so.”

“Come on Y/N what happened.”

“I honestly don’t know where to begin.” You were exhausted, still worried about your and Harrison’s message. Emily was a gorgeous girl, maybe some feelings were still there? You were angry just from the slightest thought of that, yet you had strong feelings for his best friend. It was selfish, not fair at all, you knew that but you did love him just like you love Tom.

“Kinda worried about Emily.” You leaned your back on the tree you were under, observing the group of students outside.

“What did he say that night?”

“That I misunderstood everything. That they were just talking and sorting things out, that it never crossed his mind to do anything and that I’m the one for him.” Your voice calm, soft towards the end as you remembered his words from that night. Harrison was a treasure, of course you were worried, anyone would love to share a life with him and you would too only if the old feelings weren’t a stupid obstacle.

“Sounds like Harrison. He is the most truthful guy I know. If you ask me nothing to worry about here, you both are doing wonderful.” “And looks like Tom is doing wonderful as well over there.” Anna chuckled, clapping her hands moving her gaze from Tom to you trying to catch your reaction.

Tom and Evelyn? Evelyn as Evelyn from History? How did that happen?

Evelyn was an introverted, stunning girl with an even more beautiful personality. She was a total opposite from the girls that Tom brought to his frat and interacted with on a daily basis. You were glad that he didn’t go for the same, tedious girls, however you couldn’t ignore the knots in your stomach as well as the heart stumbling over its own rhythm when you saw them together. You were jealous and downhearted that he didn’t acknowledge your message and the truth about your feelings.

Anna could see how your jaw tensed from the sight, how your forehead puckered when you saw both of them laughing. Anna didn’t know about them, it was a first and just like you she was once angry to see him change girls every single day not because she was in love with him but because she knew that he was a good guy, because this life isn’t what he wanted.

It was a secret. A stupid thing that happened between them during a summer ending party. They agreed to never tell anyone. Anna would never forgive herself if you found out, especially from someone else so it stayed unsaid. Both of them were shit-faced, laying on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

“We’re probably going to be here until tomorrow.” Tom laughed, knowing that they were too drunk to move a muscle.

“Yeah and I’m stuck with your annoying ass here.” Anna said jokingly, feeling his body getting close to hers.

“My annoying ass? I am extremely interesting if I can add that.” He tried not to stare at his best friend’s tits that looked amazing tonight, but it was like his eyes were glued onto them. Typical Tom.

“Yes? How should I know that?” Anna could feel his eyes on her, she was never into him and she never will be, but alcohol was messing with her head at that moment.

“Should I show you then?” Her body stiffened and before she nodded he pressed his lips on hers while his hands slipped underneath her skirt.

Nothing happened more than kissing and touching and she was glad that they both passed out from the tiredness and amount of alcohol they drank. But still she was feeling stupid because that happened and because he ignored her afterwards. Anna was feeling stupid because the thought of doing something with a boy you loved was eating her alive.

“At least it’s a lovely girl now.” Anna tried to get a reaction out of you, you still looked at him like he was the most wonderful thing you saw. It was the same look he gave you at Amelia’s birthday. She was against you having something with Tom only because you were a soft-hearted girl, a great friend and you deserved someone like Harrison that cared about his partner, not a one time thing. But now she wasn’t sure if you both needed to suffer like that, however she didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t fully open your heart to her.

“Good for him.” You mumbled, bringing your eyes back to the book that was untouched ever since you came here.

Harrison didn’t know why or how he agreed on a quick coffee in the coffee shop down the road. If he was honest, the message from that night was a total surprise, he hoped to not hear anything from Emily that soon.

Sorry if I got you in a sticky situation. -Emily

Harrison wasn’t that guy to sleep next to his loved one and text an ex one. He never was and never will be, however he couldn’t explain what was happening at that moment feeling like a complete dumbass. Just like he couldn’t explain the coffee he was supposed to have with Emily. Maybe he just wanted to sort their thing out and finish it forever today.

“Thank you for coming, you know.” Emily almost stuttered, feeling like a teenager again on her first date.

Her breath hitched in her lungs, she was over him right? This was a normal reaction after not seeing him for a long period of time. Emily couldn’t believe she would ever see those eyes and curls after they split that night. Many bitter words were said and so much tears were shed that she thought he wouldn’t even look at her after it in the future if they ever meet somewhere.

“No problem.” He gave her a polite smile before sitting down.

“Got you your usual latte hope you still like it.” Emily missed those days that would start with latte and toast. Everything came back to her at that moment. She didn’t know if it was the smile or his beautiful voice that made it harder to speak.

“Thank you, but I’m an Irish type of guy now.” He added, the scent of the latte in front of him bringing him back to his last flat and mornings that would be full of lazy kisses and snuggles. He didn’t want to remember any of it, he had great mornings now, even better than the previous ones.

“O-Oh sorry didn’t know that.” Harrison just nodded, not knowing what to say.

The silence was awkward, they could feel the thick tension in the air, but neither of them started a conversation. Harrison could see her mouth twitching, it was a thing that happened to Emily when she was nervous. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first time laughing together at that action.

“I’m s-sorry if this is awkward for you after all those years, shouldn’t called you especially now because you have a girlfriend, someone could misinterpret it.” Emily began, still without an answer if he asked why she called him. She didn’t know, but she just needed to see him.

“Emily it’s fine honestly.” Was it thought?

“No. It’s not. I’m sorry for what I put you through. I was stupid okay? Yes I still had feelings for Anthony I thought about him a lot and the marriage? God that was a breaking point for me. You showered me with so much love and attention hoping everything will be all right between us but I fucked it all up.” The tears pooled in her eyes, a lump in her throat was forming making it almost impossible to finish her sentence.

“Just wanted to let you know that you really made me happy in our relationship even if I didn’t show you sometimes and that I figured it out a little bit to late. Just want to know that you forgave me. Nothing else.” She added, avoiding his gaze that would just make it worse for her.

“I already did Emily. A long time ago.” He admitted, his voice soft, eyes on her hair that was once long. Harrison felt his stomach drop after he realized that he was admiring her, remembering every inch of her body and her habits. He didn’t want to feel like this, he had you.

“Don’t cry now please.” His arm extended, reaching out for hers. It was a habit, like a reflex movement.

“I’m so glad you’re happy now.”

For the first time Harrison didn’t confirm that. Yes, he knew deep inside that he indeed was happy but he couldn’t figure it out why he couldn’t say that to her.

“I hope she didn’t misunderstood that evening at the party.”

“Don’t worry.”

They both shared some small talks, giggles and the now cold coffee. It felt good, the reunion both warmed up their hearts like nothing stopped between them. You would cross his mind every now and then, making him anxious. He questioned himself what he was doing or why is he here with a girl that broke his heart and didn’t let him have a loving relationship? He really did, but somehow the thoughts would vanish and he would continue to enjoy his time with Emily.

“We should repeat this. I mean only if you want. As friends of course.” Emily was beaming, heart beating rapidly because of the scent of his cologne and the genuine smile that was plastered upon his face.

“Sure.”

Harrison watched her leave while he sat in his car trying to understand what was happening, and why he said yes for the second time. God he had you, how unfair would it be to treat you like this after you gave him a new chance for love. He didn’t do anything, but he knew that the insecurity would definitely bug him if you agreed on something like this. It was now Harrison’s turn to think about this and see what to do.

Tag List

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#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield smut #harrison osterfield blurb #fwb!tom

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sknnymnne · 4 years

Text

drowning (spencer reid x reader) part 1

summary: y/n mourns the loss of her best friend, spencer reid, reminiscing about how she always wished that they were something more. however, a case in las vegas reveals some disturbing information, causing y/n to rethink some things.

a/n: this is my first fic ever! i have some past writing experience, so hopefully this isn’t horrible. please give me constructive criticism, and let me know how i can improve :). i hope you enjoy! you can read part two here. (p.s., let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!)

...............................................................................

spencer’s death left a gaping hole in everyone’s heart. especially mine.

i was definitely a lot quieter. this grim attitude seemed to cloud over me, never fading. of course, i was constantly on the brink of tears, inches away from exploding from the pain that spencer’s passing caused. weeks after his funeral, my eyes remained glassy.

i wore spencer’s scarf every day, without fail. it didn’t matter if the purple fabric clashed with my outfit, or if it were 80 degrees outside. it was his favorite, and it had become mine too.

everyone had noticed my change in behavior. the glimmer in my eyes wasn’t there anymore, the glimmer of hope, life. i felt like an empty husk, walking around preforming my daily tasks on autopilot, just waiting for my best friend to knock on the apartment door.

spencer and i had clicked the day they met. four years, seven weeks, and two days ago. from the day we met, i had always wanted to be more than friends. however, spencer and his friendship was too valuable a thing to risk. so, i buried my feelings deep inside. stayed a respectable distance away from him on the couch. didn’t run my hands through his curls, didn’t wipe away his tears. my god, did i long for more. longed to say the words left unsaid, the ones spencer would never hear leave my lips.

“i love you.”

god, i wanted to love him in many ways, of course. i wanted to watch doctor who with him, laugh about inside jokes, learn new things together. pepper his face with kisses, hug him after a long case, lean my head on his shoulder on our way home.

at this point, none of these would exist in the real world. in the dream world, sure, but spencer would never come back. he would never walk through the elevator doors with a cup of coffee. he would never again come over to watch obscure german films. we would never split the last chocolate sprinkled donut. gone were the days of greeting him every morning, talking about each other’s weekends. it was all gone too soon. so fast.

i was drowning, and i was going down fast. grief was gripping me by the hips and pulling me into a state of ever growing darkness. there was nothing to grab onto. i didn’t know if i would ever be able to crawl back out.

...............................................................................

the first day back after his death was grim. as we reviewed the case file, a part of us waited for spencer’s excited voice to interject with a fact or statistic about serial killers. however, the room was filled with a mournful silence, accompanied by everyone’s eyes gravitating towards spencer’s empty chair.

“wheels up in 30.” hotch managed to whisper.

as we somberly packed their items, everyone seemed to be looking at spencer’s desk, his TARDIS mug still sitting in the corner. it was just the way he had left it. of course, i put on his scarf before heading over to the jet.

the case went by in a blur. nothing felt real anymore. it still didn’t make sense that spencer was gone. forever. they caught the unsub, sure, but that wasn’t nearly enough for me. all i could think about was spencer, how much i missed him, and how he died.

...............................................................................

spencer passed away on a sunday. ironically, the day of rest wasn’t relaxing in the slightest. it started when he began receiving fan mail from a “kathryn snow” in connecticut. she was just a curious college student full of questions, and spencer was more than happy to answer all of them. it was adorable seeing him so excited about helping someone.

eventually, it turned out that “kathryn snow” was actually “bryan evans,” and that bryan had an extreme obsession with spencer.

spencer’s life truly ended when he was kidnapped by bryan. bryan had tortured him, and just before we arrived, had tried to kill himself and spencer, ultimately failing at both. however, the damage to spencer was done. seeing him beaten and bruised like that it something i’ll never forget.

bryan was arrested, but escaped when he was being transferred to prison. every day, it killed me that spencer’s murderer was still out there.

spencer died on the way to the hospital.

we never saw his body.

...............................................................................

present day.

...............................................................................

“hey, y/n,” jj gave me a slight smile as she entered the elevator.

“hi,” i murmured.

“are you okay?” she rested a loving hand on my shoulder, her eyebrows knitted in concern.

“i’m fine,” i replied. “seriously”

“y/n, you know that’s not true.” she replied. “come on, tell me what’s wrong. please?”

jj always meant well, but i couldn’t bring myself to tell her about what had been going on. the nightmares had returned. of course i knew it was ridiculous to cope through them alone, and that they could compromise my skills at the BAU, but i just couldn’t talk about it. not now, at least. i was still drowning, and i was getting too deep.

“i’ll tell you about it later,” i managed to give her a small smile. “i just don’t want to talk about it at work.”

“okay.” she returned my smile, but i could still see the motherly concern in her eyes. “just tell me when you’re ready and i’ll be here.”

the elevator dinged as we reached the floor that the BAU was on, and we began to walk through the glass doors together. however, i stopped dead in my tracks when i saw spencer’s desk and felt my heart drop.

“what is it?” jj asked.

“his mug..” i mumbled. “it’s gone.”

ever since the day spencer died, i had made sure that nobody touched that mug. it had stayed in the same place on his desk for the past three weeks, collecting dust. it was somewhat comforting, knowing that would always be the same.

however, that comfort’s disappeared.

“i’m sure someone just moved it to the kitchen,” she tried to reassure me. “we’ll get it back, don’t worry.”

i knew that it was irrational to expect that no one would move the mug someday. an intern, and unsuspecting colleague. it was also irrational to think that spencer’s desk would always be spencer’s desk. someone else would sit there soon, with their own coffee cup. there was nothing i could do about it.

hotch breezed past jj and i.

“we’ve got a case.”

as we always did, we all sat at the round table, leaving spencer’s seat empty. it was a constant reminder of how easy it was to lose each other.

“four men in las vegas have been brutally tortured and murdered.” garcia winced as she showed the crime scene photos. “physically, they all appeared similar. it seems like our unsub has a pretty specific type.” she attempted to joke.

however, i couldn’t help but notice how familiar the torture was on each of the victims. the scratches, the cuts, the-

spencer.

“it’s bryan.” i blurted.

“what?” hotch furrowed his eyebrows

“look, the wounds are almost identical to spencer’s.” the words seemed to spill out of me. “we know that evans is meticulous, and the victims could be surrogates for spence.”

emily and jj both looked at me with that unintentional condescending concern.

“if you’re right, y/n, we need to get there asap.” hotch replied. “wheels up in 20.”

...............................................................................

we arrived in las vegas, and confirmed that my suspicions were indeed correct. it was bryan.

“it doesn’t make sense that evans would start killing just after he escaped.” derek mused. “he’s smart. he would know that we would learn about it and find him.”

“maybe,” rossi said, ”that’s what he wants.”

“what if it’s a trap?” i asked. “it’s definitely possible that he’d want us now that he got spencer.” i choked on spencer’s name.

“or he has reid and he wants us to know.” hotch appeared in the doorway of the conference room.

“what?” my voice shook. no. no no no. spencer was dead. he couldn’t be alive. he died in the ambulance.

we never saw his body.

“the emts who took him to the hospital,” rossi was just as shocked as i was. “were they even certified? did we even check?”

“two unsubs,” derek “evans, and another one in there with reid.”

“is he even dead?”

those last four words seemed to echo endlessly through my body. had this bastard had my best friend for three weeks, and i didn’t even know? had all my mourning been for nothing? was spencer even alive, or was i just getting my hopes up?

is he even dead?

god, i hope not.

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arsonanddahlias · 3 years

Text

Silent Melodies and Orange Bottles

I realised that the song Unsaid Emily has a lot of lines that make more sense if you consider the boys death so I wrote a little fic about Luke planning to commit s*icide. I've censored it here but it isn't censored in the fic so please don't read if this is a triggering topic!

Link on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28359648

Luke looked at his hands, and the pill bottle in them. It made sense, really, that it would come to this. Just him, alone, in the studio, with a little orange bottle.

Guilt swam in his eyes, or maybe it was tears, but either way he couldn't see. He felt bad for his boys. The boys that were there for him, always. Except tonight.

He knew, in hindsight, that is was getting bad again when the chords got harder to play and the silence was almost deafening between jokes. Maybe he should have told them. It was too late now.

Bobby was out of town with his parents. His fucking parents who were there for him all the time and took happy little family trips and cared, really cared. Bobby hated them.

Reggie had been grounded for sneaking out. All the boys had worried, they knew how Reggie's parents could get, but there was nothing they could do.

God, he was fucking pathetic. Here he was crying about his parents, they're nothing in comparison to Reg's. Or Alex's, even.

Alex was still at school. He claimed that he really wanted to stay after school to do art, but all the boys knew it was less about the painting and more about the cute boy that had joined their class.

Really, he should have told them. But here he was, crying in the studio alone.

He should leave a note, really. So he did.

Words didn't really come easy to Luke

"Hey boys. I'm sorry, I really am. We were gonna make it big. I love you guys more than I could say.

Luke"

He should probably write one to his parents too. His mom, especially. But when he put his pen to paper, nothing came.

Well, something came. Lyrics.

Luke did what Luke does best, he wrote a song.

The lyrics rushed through him, like this was correct. Like the universe was willing this song into existence. He'd always been better at expressing himself through his songs than through his words.

He finished the song. Unsaid Emily.

He flicked absentmindedly through his song book, landing on a song he'd written recently, Crooked Teeth. It was about reggie, and the boys. Reading through his poorly drawn scribbles he noticed the parallels with Unsaid Emily.

God, that's depressing, he accidentally wrote a fucking suicide note.

At least he had something for the boys that was more than a quick, poorly written note. They deserved it.

He decided that, if this was really it, he wanted his last memory to be something nice. He pulled out a photo, it was one Bobby shot with Reggie's Polaroid. They were sat on the pier, laughing about something Alex had said. Alex was bright red but had a huge grin on his face.

God he was gonna miss them. He hoped they'd miss him too. Maybe that was selfish.

Luke didn't believe in God, but maybe there was someone watching over them, because that was the moment Alex and Reggie stormed into the studio, loudly chatting.

They stopped abruptly, staring for a moment at Luke, sitting on the floor with tears pouring out of his eyes, clutching a little orange bottle like a lifeline.

They were Instantly by his side, voicing concerns that Luke tried his best to listen to.

He wasn't really in his head.

Reggie kept talking to Luke, trying to keep him present as Alex glanced at the table. He reached out to the paper and the songbook, bringing them both towards him. He read each in turn, carefully. It took a moment before all the pieces clicked into place.

"Luke I-" he whispered softly, trying to tread lightly around the boy. He looked so small and Alex hated that. He was usually so full and bubbly and bouncy. This wasn't him.

The blonde reached forward and prised the pills from his hand, putting them in his Fanny pack before filling the empty space with his own hand. Reggie now had a grip around his shoulders and was holding him tightly in an almost awkward side hug.

Luke looked like a lost puppy.

"Luke, look at me. You don't have to tell us anything, but we are here for you. And, if you want, we'll listen. But if you just wanna sit and watch a movie until you feel better I- we'll be here no matter what"

"Can I.... Can you riff with me for a bit please?" Luke choked out

"Sure, man" Reggie said, picking up on the softness of Alex's tone and copying it.

They didn't play for long, and Luke's voice was cracking throughout, but neither boy said anything.

When they finished, the boys asked if he wanted to refine it. He quickly refused, saying it was just perfect how it was.

And it was, perfect that is. Sure, maybe it was a little dysfunctional, but he had his family.

Luke looked at his hand, and his friends hands in them. Everything was going to be okay.

#Jatp #julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #Luke Patterson #Reggie jatp #Alex jatp #Unsaid Emily #Fanfic #Jatp fanfic #suicide tw #Arson writes

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blush-and-books · 3 years

Text

The End of Julie and the Phantoms - A [very long] Theory

The core of this theory was inspired by many posts that I have seen saying that Julie’s “everything was a dream” shirt may have insinuated that nothing happening on the show is actually reality. I brought my series finale pitch to my dear friend @willexx who then helped me develop this headcanon into something I cried about during lunch.

It starts out pretty heavy, but there are some little light things here and there because it’s what the himbos would have wanted.

We start here:

In the last episode, the boys are ready too cross over. It’s an emotional moment for everyone, they’re crying, Julie is sobbing, and we as an audience have definitely seen better days. With one last “we love you, Julie,” a flash of light overtakes the garage space, blinding our screens.

The scene flashes to Julie lying in bed, waking up from her ringing alarm.

She is visibly confused, clearly wondering how she got to bed when the last thing that she remembers is the boys’ painful departure. When she reaches for her phone to turn off her alarm -- it’s a school day -- she quickly notices the date:

It’s the same day in 2020 that she met the boys, that she was going to clean out her mom’s garage, and that she had to perform to keep her spot in the music program.

So, none of it was real?

Not exactly.

The experience was a sort of dream-like saga that was designed for her to be able to grieve on her own, and rediscover her voice in her own way. But just as the panic sets in that it was a complete figment of her imagination, the feeling of cold metal on her left hand becomes too hard to ignore: One of Luke’s rings.

Reggie’s leather jacket is hanging in her closet.

Alex’s fanny pack is slung across the back of a chair.

But when she runs downstairs, clad in her dinosaur slippers, rushing to the garage to see if the guys were there -- they aren’t. They have crossed over.

As she moves through the day, she’s a new Julie, but everything else is the same. Instead of a baseball cap and low ponytail, Julie throws on her black jeans and Reggie’s leather and lets her hair run wild. She’s displaying a confidence that Flynn hasn’t seen in a long time, that seemed to have hit Julie overnight.

Julie sings Wake Up in music, and keeps her spot in the program. She doesn’t oogle Nick in the halls and she tells Carrie off when there’s an attempt at an insult made.

Real or not, the boys helped her. They did their job.

When she gets home, and Ray irks her about cleaning the garage or selling the house, she is quick to insist that she doesn’t want to move and that if he needs her for the rest of the night, she’ll be in her mother’s studio.

There aren’t any instruments except for the piano, and the space has the original layer of dust that it had before her and the guys started using the space again. Julie feels empty. But she reminds herself that the ring on her finger is real, extremely real, so she retraces her steps that she had taken in the first episode and tracks down the Sunset Curve demo CD, puts it in the stereo, and plays it.

Nothing happens. Or, at least -- nothing that she could see.

The camera pans up as Julie is hard at work to organize the garage, and we see the boys in the chairs on the ceiling, watching over her fondly.

~This is where @willexx started to throw in some epic ideas~

The boys are real, and they have crossed over, which renders Julie unable to see them. However, in her reset reality without them, no one remembers Julie and the Phantoms or the fact that the boys existed in the first place. The boys, while she can’t see them, visit her and try to make contact with her as much as they can, even though their times with her are limited since they are supposed to be on the other side.

She’ll feel a ghost of a touch on her hand or her hair, and know that Luke is there. When she’s in the car and the radio is on a country station, she knows that it’s Reggie. In a journal for school, a small “okay” will be written in the corner of a page, and it is Alex. These little notes keep her going, and she’ll just sigh and say “my boys,” and leave everyone around her confused.

Sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, the demo tape can be heard playing in the garage. Somehow she’ll get filled with hope that if she runs into the garage, the boys will be there rocking out without her like she used to scold them for left and right -- but no one is there. Ray comments that the stereo is broken and Julie has no choice but to nod along.

One day she finds Luke’s songbook that had been buried in the plastic garbage bags of the boys’ belongings. She still brings Unsaid Emily to his parents, and she cries herself to sleep that night.

When Julie blows up as a solo artist, she actually records Unsaid Emily, and she records Bright, and all of the other songs that her and Luke wrote together. Luke Patterson is in the writing credits for many of the songs, where Trevor never bothered to list him, and a part of Luke is at piece.

On the two year anniversary of Rose’s passing, Julie finds Luke’s “angst flannel.” Ray asks where she got it; she tells him a thrift store. But it feels warm, like all of the guys are there, hugging her.

Another morning, she could swear that Luke and Reggie are strumming out Flying Solo on level one volume, and once again finds herself darting to the garage with no good excuse except to keep her hopes up. They, unsurprisingly, aren’t there -- but a note is, that says “you’re a star, Jules. We love you.”

The handwriting is messy. She knows it’s from Luke, who probably fought the boys to even write the note because he just wanted to talk to her even though they need to move on and his handwriting is awful. The note gets tucked into the pocket of the flannel, and when she needs to be reminded that she’ll be okay, she pulls it out of the pocket and holds it tight.

Before every show, she reads the note, and mumbles a little prayer to them wherever they are -- even if no one else believes they are real.

When Luke’s flannel starts to lose it’s original sweet scent of Emily and Mitch’s house, Julie spends an hour crying on the floor of her bathroom. A faded orange beanie appears in her room the next day.

Little notes from Luke appear here and there, but never from any of the guys. In the shadows where she can’t see them, Alex tells Luke that in order for both themselves and Julie to move on, Luke needs to stop leaving her notes -- so most of the ones that Julie finds are even more messy than usual, like Luke was trying to write them without the guys noticing.

During one of their forbidden conversations, Julie says to Luke: “hey, I never told you this before... But I’m so glad you’re here. I don’t know what I would do without knowing that you guys were still around. I think I would have lost my mind, and would have been convinced that I went crazy.”

Luke could have ran to Alex, repeated Julie’s tearful words, and given the drummer a fat “I told you so.” But he doesn’t. Julie’s validation is the only validation that he needs.

Whenever her and Carlos and Ray make an extra seat at their dinner table for Rose, Julie imagines, deep in her mind, that it is for Reggie too. Reggie deserved a seat at their table; deserved to be a part of their family. A family that would have loved him. And when a fork falls off of the table, Julie knows he’s there. One day, Julie asks Ray how he would have felt about having another son. He responds confused, and Julie gets tears in her eyes, and neither of them bring it up again.

When Julie and Flynn go to Pride together, Julie wears Alex’s fanny pack even though she hadn’t gotten any signs from him since they had all moved on. He still doesn’t reach out afterwards, too overwhelmed by her gesture to think of a way to properly extend his gratitude and love for the girl who is keeping his spirit alive -- but Luke lets her know that he was grateful.

Luke still visits Julie like he visits Emily and Mitch. And on Luke’s birthday every year, Julie goes to a little bakery after school and buys herself a cupcake; sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to light a candle and sing happy birthday. When she lights the candle, the candle gets blown out. Every year after that first year, she gets candles that you have to turn on and off so that Luke can’t ruin the moment.

(He ends up throwing the fake candle on the ground out of retaliation.)

Julie is so emotionally stable for the most part that the complete change is a shock to Ray. He tries to ask her what happened, but she always acts like nothing happened and then hides in her room for hours. Sometimes, she makes random little comments out of the blew and Ray has many conversations with Victoria on whether or not he should have Julie seeing Dr. Turner again.

At her first solo concert, Julie walks into the dressing room to find “Stand Tall” written three times, in three different handwriting styles, in red, pink, and blue. The message in blue is the messiest by far, and is followed up with a heart.

The name of Julie’s first album is Phantoms.

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #jatp #jatp theory #jatp headcanons #julie molina #luke patterson

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nicknellie · 3 years

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For sure, as I (believe) mentioned before music is Luke’s way of showing that he cares (Julie with bright ect) so it would make the most sense for him to be the only one who sings it to Alex.

Oh no, I was thinking that however I’m just now picturing it in my head like the last verse is just Luke because the other boys are crying so hard and Luke is as well but he needs to finish the song because Alex has to know.

Precisely, although the band wouldn’t be the same without one of them (they literally changed band names when they added Julie) it’s hard for any of them to think that they matter as much as they do.

Yes, I think that as well although Luke never intends for it to happen he is usually either the reason why fight starts are involved in them. Mostly due to the fact that as you said he is headstrong, and while I do think that he open minded sometimes with his opinions it takes longer for him to consider the other side (Him telling Julie that she needs to get back into the music program ect).

Although with Willie for Alex we see him sometimes being able to stand up for himself I feel like when it comes to his bandmates he sometimes may not have that back bone mostly because in the back of his head he’s afraid that they will kick him out. (Not that they really did anything that Alex needs to call them out for however just in general)

Depending on which fic you’re talking about I might have read it as well, but I’ve seen theories/stories about that as well.

Honestly I keep thinking that the boys met each other rather young however I completely agree, for a few years Bobby just didn’t have a lot of friends

Sadness, I’ve also saw a comment somewhere in which someone mentioned that for the boys stuff to be in the garage it was Bobby who probably put it there and that’s upsetting. (Poor Bobby)

Just randomly he sees one of Alex’s jigsaws and their random hobbies and he burst into more tears (could possibly be were he thinks that using the songs would be a good thing)

I can just see Reggie trying to lure Alex into a wild goose case just because he’s trying to get him confused (Alex is more so concerned but just moves on) Yes, that exactly how Bobby and Luke react. Also they can’t really lie to Alex so they won’t make eye contact with him, which is how Alex is able to tell that Bobby isn’t truthful.

Exactly, that’s what I was thinking as well! Bobby looks calm however he’s able to deck someone if needed, honestly after a while people just know not to mess with him however Luke still comes as a surprise because he acts like a puppy.

Wait yes!! Reggie learned art from his grandad (also partly where his love of country music comes from but none of the boys know why he started writing country music) (Luke always tries to get him to stop writing them however whenever Reggie is feeling sad they tend to play his grandads favorite country song which is the only one that Luke will accept)

Wait yes!! I was thinking the exact same thing, I could just see him taking a picture and then painting it. Reggie just makes paintings of all of them but as Luke is the most photogenic a majority of them is of him.

Yes, comfort music and poetry (also comfort baking especially for Reggie because Alex can’t say no to Reggie even though he once requested a Han Solo cake)

Precisely! For a bit of time the boys would be concerned just because they associated Alex baking with him being stressed (even if Alex says it’s nothing if they wake up and the garage smells like someone has been baking they know). I actually remember reading this fic that basically had Alex make cookies and then give them to a random stranger (Willie) and your idea kind of reminded me of that. But yes, and Alex is such a god baker that although the boys need him to go to sleep immediately they don’t protest to the immense amount of baked goods.

Completely, Reggie doesn’t seem tired however he is so active that the boys just know. (Possibly could’ve been when he thought that fixing his amp in the rain was a good idea).

Oh wait yes, and there’s no in between either just those two and Alex is always prepared.

If Trevor and Mitch were close then it definitely would’ve been easier for Trevor to help him make the charity. (It took Emily and Mitch a bit of time to recognize where they knew Trevor from because unlike the boys they weren’t able to pinpoint him immediately)

They definitely saw the boys as their sons, (depending on the time line) when Alex ran away he went to them first and Emily was one of the first adults (soon after Bobby) who Alex came out to.

Honestly I was thinking that for a bit of time Trevor wouldn’t announce who he was however I think your theory makes a lot more sense and I prefer it. Also I do feel like they could’ve been neglectful but Sunset Curve found a family within each other so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been that they didn’t have the best parents.

It’s the only logical explanation that she’s Julie’s mom and if she isn’t then there has to be a reason for her character outside of a worker you know. (I’ve seen some theories where they say that Caleb is behind their murder so if that’s the direction that they take and if she’s supposed to be like a spy for his club I will rage)

Yes, basically everyone thanks Rose because she is amazing.

Honestly I have quite a bit that I expect from season two but I just really hope that they touch upon those story lines also developed and spend more time on their characters (Flynn and Willie deserved better). I’d love flashbacks like that as well, and going along with your theory kind of like in unsaid Emily as the song is continuing and all the sudden we get like a flashback scene (how they did it) that’s what they should do, if the boys sit down and tell Julie about their past.

He is such a family man, honestly if anything I just don’t really feel like they developed Trevor enough to tell what he is like as a parent however I just don’t see him as someone who doesn’t care because he had quite a few examples of not so great parents growing up, (not being supportive, neglectful, not accepting their kid and fighting in front of them jus to name a few) that he never wanted to be like them.

So I’ve been thinking about this for a bit so I’ll bring it out now, in stand tall when Carrie makes a comment before the show we see his face kind of scrunch up and I feel like season two could have a scene where he talks to her about her behavior and could possibly be how they do her redemption arc (?). Because he loves her so much, and although he may not be the best at showing it (now that he lost the boys it’s been hard for him to get close to people even his own daughter due to the fact that he’s afraid of losing them)

Exactly, it feels like they don’t care about the fact that they died. For some people it does take longer to react to things end it could just be that they’re still processing it however we get no insight to the fact that they’re even mildly thinking about it. I do think part of it is that although even has changed they still have each other and therefore they can try to get through everything that they possibly could.

Alex is such a sweetheart, and that’s exactly what he would do because he genuinely enjoyed helping people also the fact that Bobby means so much to him just made him feel like he was on cloud nine.

That’s exactly the song, The boys are so concerned and Alex and Luke at one point turns to Julie and is like that’s why I didn’t want him to know about Jar-Jar, I can’t believe he’s done this again (occasionally Reggie brings out heavy metal and no one knows why)

(So I’ve never seen Star Wars either, honestly I just said that character because he is adorable)

Julie is just concerned about them in general however during this moment she’s just so confused (I feel like Carlos is a huge Star Wars fan, part of why Reggie likes him so much so due to that fact she’s also a fan) however they spend the next 20 ish minutes talking about how much the franchise has changed ect.

It would totally be their thing, and although Alex isn’t into photography as much as Reggie is, they both just love the experience and spending time together. Also they loved having Luke and Bobby there as well, surprisingly Bobby knows a lot about photography as well or at least the developing stages so if the boys are there then Reggie and Bobby usually take over doing the developing and Luke and Alex just watch.

Yes, this is how Reggie gets into lots of scrapbooking conversations (also randomly gets stickers from people) for the fact that he’s so well known for how much he loves scrapbooking.

That’s exactly how the shoot for the deme photo went. One of the photos has Reggie out of place and the boys in movement and since Reggie thought it was the last one he almost burst out into tears (they quickly discovered that there was another picture which became the cover).

Yes, Reggie just keeps giving Julie scrapbooks of Luke. (Reggie is the embarrassing mom friend that would pull out baby pictures just to spite someone)

Instagram account- yes, and his followers are sometimes confused as to how he could possibly get those pictures without being seen but they just accept it as Reggie being Reggie. For sure, Flynn and Reggie would be the best friendship duo and the photos are insane. (Luke is photogenic but Flynn is a whole level because she will gladly do a 2 hour photo shoot)

Luke would definitely let Reggie have the wrappers, and that’s precisely what Alex‘s reaction would be.

That’s what I was thinking as well, he’s just so shaky and the writing is so blurry to him because he has so many tears in his eyes and eventually he just can’t look at it anymore (that’s why the photos are not in the scrapbook but just placed inside because although he knew how much it would mean to Reggie, Bobby didn’t have the strength to make a new page)

Yes Luke would definitely wrap the gifts in tinfoil (‘I have more class than that Luke’ ‘Reggie, you wrap your gifts with newspaper’)

Everyone just takes Alex’s hoodies, even Julie.

You described that beautifully that is exactly what their relationship is.

The hoodies are essential during movie nights because Luke and Reggie have enough room to pull the hoodies over their face so they don’t have to see what’s on screen. Over time Alex isn’t scared by them however (despite seeing the film like four times) Luke let out a gigantic scream once at a film and it terrified Alex. Ah I love that you included Willie (who is the king of stealing hoodies much to Alex’s sadness) and that is exactly what would happen.

Yes, and Alex takes his job as a choreographer very seriously (honestly it’s just for entertainment because Alex is very amused) The picture that Owen posted somewhere buried in the scrapbooks there is a similar one of sunset curve in similar costumes that Luke has tried to get Reggie to burn. Also although Luke is not interested he is the best dancer and it’s very normal thing to walk into the garage and see them waltzing with each other.

I love the way that you said this and I completely agree, it’s one way that Alex and Julie bond (also she finds that picture of Luke and Alex waltzing and she forces him to teach her how to waltz)

Honestly at one point I was going to say I love how all of this started because of a jigsaw.

I’m sorry this took me so long to get to but as I predicted I’ve been writing my response for a whole hour and I’m hoping it’s worth it 😂 oh god I loved literally all of this, more under keep reading :)))

Ok so originally I started bullet pointing everything and I planned to put it all into a big thing like I did before, then I accidentally started putting more detail into the bullet points and just stuck with it 😂 the first few aren’t as detailed but it gets better the longer it goes on. That’s also why they’re all numbered lmao

1. Luke’s voice breaking as he holds the last note at the end of the song and him desperately trying to make it all the way without crying so Alex can see how much he cares

2. All of them knowing they’re like family but also constantly feeling like they’re stepping on eggshells because they’re so used to making mistakes within their own homes that they think it’ll be just as easy with all their friends

3. Interesting that you mentioned the music program - implies he always thinks that his ideas aren’t necessarily the best but they’re for the best and he struggled to change his mind to see other sides of the argument which is where the fighting started

4. Alex was usually the mediator because whenever there was a problem he would lay the facts out in his mind and sort through all outcomes to the best possible solution that would hopefully please everyone - generally everyone agreed after Alex intervened and it was rare he was involved in arguments himself

5. Totally right about Alex not standing up for himself (see “And you can’t make us either! ...Sir” to Caleb) and that’s why he was hardly ever involved; when he did argue he could actually get kind of nasty which made him feel awful

6. Yeah same I think he just seemed like a bit of a loner and let’s be real kind of intimidating despite his chill personality and the guys were the first to break down his walls

7. I’ve seen stuff like that - like it was probably him who had to identify the bodies and take their stuff back and that’s a horrible weight for a 17-y-o to bare and it makes me wonder how people can dislike Bobby based on actions and choices he made when he was grieving for his family

8. Omg he goes through each of their bags after he’s taken them back to the studio that night (not Luke’s bc Mitch and Emily have it) and he finds the tiny easy jigsaw Alex uses before shows and a half completed crossword book in Reggie’s stuff

9. Also!! Reggie does sudokus too! I kept forgetting what they were called and wanting to add them in, but sudokus!! He loves them

10. Yes lmao Reggie starts off with a really confusing lie that makes Alex asks more questions - it once ended up with the completely false story that Reggie was planning to climb Mount Everest and they weren’t telling Alex because he was afraid of heights

11. I love thinking that the boys just can’t lie to each other because we see in the show they can’t lie (high-pitched ummmm and “we were looking for the kitchen...?”) so tiny things like that are perfect I’m so in agreement

12. Exactly yes!!!! Luke is friends with everyone he speaks to until they say something that rubs him the wrong way and he just kind of explodes (unless it’s someone he’s close to)

13. YES OMG I didn’t even think of that being where Reggie’s love of country music came from but YES omg totally

14. Because I love Johnny Cash I’m claiming Reggie’s favourite country song as Ring of Fire because it’s quite upbeat and I can see him and his grandad jamming out to it in the old days - other favourites were I Walk The Line and A Boy Named Sue

15. I feel like Reggie’s art style would swing between very realistic like when he paints the boys and also kind of similar to Booboo Stewart’s art

16. Alex tried his hardest to deliver with the Han Solo cake and it definitely could have turned out worse! Reggie helped decorate because he couldn’t wait until it was finished to see the result

17. Yes omg like the boys trying to say like “you good buddy?” through huge mouthfuls of cake and the whole effect of concern being lost - Alex eventually starts baking even when he’s fine so it’s harder to tell when he’s stressed, but baking always cheers him up so they don’t mind

18. That fic sounds really sweet omg 🥺

19. Absolutely omg! It’s like the middle of the night, full-on storm outside, and Reggie just thinks “oh yeah I gotta fix my amp, no time like the present” and it didn’t go well obviously

20. Yes and now you’ve said that I kinda feel like Emily was the second person he told who took it well? Like Bobby was first, then his parents reacted badly, and then he went to Luke’s house - Emily asked if he wanted to see Luke but he kind of broke down and asked if he could talk to her instead

21. He told her everything and she was incredibly supportive - because for a while Alex wanted to keep things on the down-low Luke didn’t even know he stayed at his house that night

22. Yeah I just need more found-family 90s Sunset Curve moments along with the found-family present day Julie and the Phantoms moments 🥺

23. idk if you saw but the book confirmed that Rose is her mother!!!! It’s officially canon!!! So no worries about her being a spy for Caleb, I think Rose is way too nice for that (oops sorry if you’re avoiding book spoilers 😬)

24. Omg louder for the people in the back Flynn and Willie deserved better!!! They deserved so much more screen time, Flynn deserves her own storyline (personally I’m rooting for her to be the first to reconnect with Carrie and I’m a hardcore Flarrie shipper so that would be cool, but I’d settle for them just being friends again) and I’d love to see Willie dealing with the emotional baggage and realisations that come after Caleb’s stamp gets lifted

25. Exactly!! This!! He loves his family so much, probably blames himself a little for the boys’ death (for not going with them, even though there was nothing he could have done, or for encouraging them to go) and he doesn’t want to lose his family!

26. Omg I’ve never considered that but I love it! I want more Trevor and Carrie moments in general and him showing some good parenting by helping her be better would be totally perfect yesssss

27. Yeah I get that, like the main thing is that they have each other and as long as they have that they’ll be fine - although like you said because it takes some people longer to process it I’d love to see either Luke or Reggie start thinking about it when they realise that Julie and the others are growing up but they’ll be 17 forever

28. Ajakkffjsl YES Reggie just randomly writing heavy metal songs, either about something he hates or just. Totally for no reason other than he likes the freedom of screaming (but he doesn’t like listening to it as he doesn’t like shouting)

29. That’s Gizmo??? Omg yes oh my Lord idk what that thing is but I would die for it and so would Reggie

30. Carlos and Reggie having lightsaber fights. That’s it. All Carlos can see is a floating lightsaber but they both have the time of their lives/afterlives

31. Omg what if Bobby learnt about the developing thing bc as we’ve established Reggie is not that careful but Bobby is very gentle and it’s something you need to be gentle for so he learns it just to help Reggie

32. For most famous bands or whatever they get asked for autographs or whatever but not Reggie - he gets given stickers and people ask to take photos, then make him keep the photos and ask them to put them in his scrapbook; even though Sunset Curve were still relatively small he had a whole album dedicated to photos with fans

33. Lmao yeah they just couldn’t time it right and thankfully got the photo on the very last try - Reggie literally cried with happiness

34. Yes!! This!! Oh my god!! Whenever Luke is being particularly annoying Reggie just calls Julie over and sits her down with a photo album - the best ones are the photos of Luke stuck in weird places (idk I feel like he’d do stupid things and get stuck a lot. He once got his head stuck in a train door and instead of helping the boys just laughed at him. That happened to me one time which is why I thought of it)

35. Hell yeah Reggie’s photography account blows up, especially when Flynn starts managing it. And those two hour shoots are almost always her idea - she’ll just show up at the studio with a bunch of outfits and shout to the air “Reggie get your camera ready!”

36. Omg don’t do that to meeeee 😭 he couldn’t make himself flip through the pages and stick the photos in because he didn’t want to relive all the memories that had suddenly turned painful 😭 so he just carefully slips the photos inside and never looks at them again

37. Julie in Alex’s hoodie is possibly the greatest mental image I’ve ever had - he can’t find it, and usually it’s Luke or Reggie, and nowadays Willie tends to take it too, so Alex marches into the studio and asks which one of them has it, at which point he sees Julie huddled up in it for warmth and he just melts because she’s freaking adorable and he can’t believe how lucky he is to have her as a best friend

38. Lmaooo Reggie and Luke hiding under the hoodies is PERFECT and yes Luke is such a scaredy-cat no matter how tough he tries to act

39. Alex looks forwards to their dance sessions every time lmao and YES he got them all matching costumes and Luke despises the photos

40. Sunset Curve (and later Julie and the Phantoms) dancing with each other was not something I knew I needed in my life but I’m so glad you said it because YES

41. Kinda considering buying a custom JatP jigsaw from somewhere because now I feel like I deserve one

#no thoughts just Julie in Alex’s hoodie #that is all I need and want in my life oh my GOD #williexmercer #asks #emily answers

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emilyjunk · 5 years

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Pt 25???

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)(part 9) (part 10) (part 11) (part 11.5) (part 12) (part 13) (part 14)(part 15) (part 16) (part 17) (part 18) (part 19) (part 20) (part 21) (part 22) (part 23) (part 24) (moodboards) (playlists)

emily always feels out of place when she steps into victor’s village, 12 large mansions circled around a sprawling green. beca’s is the farthest in the back, so emily has to decide if she should walk around the park, awkwardly passing all the other houses, or cut through it, feeling guilty for enjoying the lush greenery and ornate fountains, so lavish compared to the poverty of some of district 7.

she knows she could avoid victor’s village altogether, that beca would come to see her in the shabby hut she calls home. her sisters and mom adore beca, not only because she volunteered for emily in the games but because she’s always bringing them clothes and sweets they wouldn’t get otherwise. beca claims it’s because she has more money than she knows what to do with, and she’s probably right, but emily has a sneaking suspicion that it’s beca’s way of showing affection. beca’s not exactly one for hugs and emily guesses she probably wasn’t even before the games

despite all that, emily tries to visit victor’s village once a day, after school or in the evening for dinner. she can’t really help it. all day at school, she tries to imagine what beca’s doing in that big house, all alone with her thoughts

beca doesn’t share them with her much, but sometimes when they’re together, beca’s eyes go far away, and emily wonders if she’s back in the games or in some deeper, darker place where emily can’t reach her

they go to that place more often as the days drag on, as beca settles into her new life, without school or work or any kinds of distractions, just that big empty house and nothing to do

being in beca’s house makes her feel insignificant, with its fancy appliances, capitol tech, sparkly chandeliers. there’s a couch as big as emily’s kitchen and a large television where she can watch all the capitol programming, both news and entertainment. there’s even a piano, one that emily itches to play, but she’s afraid to ask, doesn’t really know her boundaries with beca yet

still, it captivates emily day in and day out. she yearns to break the heavy silence that falls over the house almost constantly. she wants to breathe music into that space, to feel the thrum of life within the walls. she’s not that great at piano, but she knows how to play from church, and she thinks if they have to suffer all this, if beca has to live here, then why not milk it for what it’s worth?

but then she looks at beca, at her far-away eyes, and thinks better of it

beca’s pain sometimes fills emily like a song anyway. she can feel it deep inside her when she thinks about jesse and knows it must be magnified within beca in ways emily can’t possibly imagine.

it’s in beca’s smile, rarely given and so so small, but always genuine and endlessly beautiful

it’s in the way beca will hold her hand, at first tentative but then certain

they spend nights like that, holding hands on the couch, quietly talking about the smallest of things, like emily’s day at school or their families, until it gets late and emily has to walk back home because of curfew

they always leave her confused, her evenings with beca

she’s constantly conflicted about her feelings. part of her wishes they would talk about the games, but part of her is afraid to. she doesn’t want to get mad at beca, doesn’t feel like it’s her place to be upset about jesse. she knows it’s not fair to beca, that beca did what she could, but sometimes emily misses him so much that it rises up inside her as anger

she always pushes it down

and there’s the part of her that’s scared, the part that knows what beca did in that arena, that saw the feral, unhinged girl that looked like beca – but also didn’t – emerge from the smoke and bloodshed, somehow alive when everyone else had died

and there’s the part of her that feels love for beca

that part might be the most confusing because she doesn’t know if she’s falling for what beca did for her, or if she’s falling for beca herself, and if it’s the second, then she doesn’t know which beca she’s falling for. she doesn’t know if it’s the beca that saved her life, that volunteered for her and kept emily praying she’d come home. and she doesn’t know if it’s this new beca either, this sadder, seemingly older beca, with her careful eyes and giant heart. the girl who brings emily’s family presents and who reaches for emily’s hand when emily thinks she’ll pull away instead.

the girl who surprises emily one night, her voice a breathless whisper breaking the silence they’ve been sitting in for some time, emily reading while beca pretends to watch tv

“i know it doesn’t make sense, but sometimes i really miss him”

emily looks up from her school book, cautious and curious

“who?”

beca frowns, fingers playing with emily’s fingers and avoiding emily’s eyes. finally she takes a deep breath and looks up.

“jesse”

emily blinks slowly, her book falling shut. she feels the immediate sting of tears in her eyes, but she forces them back because even though she misses him, beca was there, felt it first hand, and what right does emily have to be upset when beca finally wants to talk about it

“me too” she murmurs.

“it’s crazy because… honestly, he bugged the crap out of me. he wouldn’t leave me alone leading up to the games. he was always there, talking strategy with me, teasing me about… you. and i didn’t get it, how he could be so… i dunno, optimistic and hopeful. there was nothing hopeful about that place.”

emily’s lips twitch, the barest amount. she almost wants to laugh. “he was just like that.”

“it’s like… as much as i found him annoying and wanted to be left alone, i still wanted him around” beca says

“i know the feeling,” emily agrees. “he had a way of wiggling into your life and making himself at home.”

beca nods, her teeth biting over her lower lip as she meets emily’s eyes. “i’m really sorry, em,” she whispers.

a wave of emotion swells inside her and she squeezes beca’s hand. “it’s not…” she clears her throat, biting back all the unsaid things she’s been holding close to her heart. “it’s not your fault.”

“he died so he could save me.”

“i know. I just mean… no matter what happened. you couldn’t have done anything different. only one person can win. no matter how unfair it is or how we feel about it… it’s just. it’s not your fault. it’s just how the games have to be.”

beca’s mouth thins. “do they, though?”

emily hesitates, mulling over her words carefully. “maybe not always, but right now, yes.”

beca’s eyes flash dangerously and for the briefest second emily wants to yank her hand away. then beca softens, her body going slack. “im sorry anyway.”

emily can’t respond, doesn’t know the right words. so she just lifts beca’s hand to her lips and kisses it. puts it against her cheek. she likes the soft warmth of beca’s skin against hers.

“i should get going,” emily says at last. “curfew.”

“you should stay.” beca’s eyes widen and she backtracks. “I mean… if you want to, then you can stay. here. with me.”

a surge of fondness pulses in her chest and she knows, suddenly and without a doubt, that she would be incapable of leaving now if she tried. “okay,” she says easily, loving the happy flush that’s spread over beca’s cheeks.

as they go to sleep, crawling under the covers in beca’s giant, comfy bed (bigger and comfier than emily could have ever dreamed of existing) emily feels that pull of conflict again, that strange part of her that feels herself falling at war with the part of her that doesn’t know which beca she’s falling for.

but, emily thinks, as she pulls beca into her arms and feels beca’s tense muscles start to relax, feels the easy rightness of holding beca close to her chest, she’s not sure it really matters

#bemily hunger games au #bemily #long ass update yw

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