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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

Text

I’m gonna love you (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings X Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Songfic based on POV by Ariana Grande. A loving relationship with Luke is all that you need.

Warnings: Puuure Fluff! One or two bad words, mentions of alcohol (almost nothing) Grammar mistakes, probably (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 1.9k

Author’s Note: A small piece for the writing challenge created by @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof I love writing this so much and I really hope you like it ✨ Reblogs, comments and feedback are always welcome and encouraged 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading🦋

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Anon: 4 the writing challenge, can u do Pov by Ariana grande with Luke?

“It's like you got superpowers

Turn my minutes into hours

You got more than 20/20, babe

Made of glass, the way you see through me”

You woke up when the sun started peeking through the window, slowly shaking you from your now long forgotten dream.

Nuzzling your nose in your pillow, you opened one eye to catch the time on your phone, quickly celebrating that it was still early for you to start your day and that you actually had time to go back to dreamland.

You felt a shuffling movement in the sheets behind you and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you turned around and found your boyfriend’s sleeping figure.

It has been so long since you had Luke all for yourself, long days turned into nights in the studio kept him from you lately, making it almost seem like you lived in two separate timelines. However, today was not one of those days. He had longed for a weekend off for months now and now he finally has it.

You were tempted to wake him up, to start the day off early and enjoy every second of it with him by your side. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, one because he really needed the sleep and two, you can’t bring yourself to stop staring at him.

The way the white sheets did almost nothing to cover up his broad shoulders, leaving half of his naked back for the dim sunlight to caress as the sun went up in the sky, slowly rising and falling at the calm rhythm of his soft breathing. Or the way his bleach blonde curls fell on his face, almost covering his eyes, giving him the classic angelic aura that surrounds him with every move he makes. You couldn’t help but to push some of them away to see his face a little more clearly.

Even after all these years that you’ve been together, it amazes you how easily he could leave you breathless.

You watched him sleep and tried to memorize every detail, almost like if today was the last time you’d ever see him. You counted every little mole and freckle, and took in the shade of pink of his lips that were partially parted due to his ability of heavy sleeping wherever he was. His eyelashes rested carefully on his cheeks, bringing a sense of ultimate peace to the whole image.

Peace is not something you get often that it sometimes hurts to know that these kinds of moments were just that: moments, and that at some point everything will have to go back to normal. If you could call this normal, that is.

Oh, how you wished he’d stayed like this forever.

“You’re staring” He mumbled with his eyes still closed.

“Am not” You spoke softly, not wanting to disturb him more “And how could you know? Your eyes are closed”

“It’s my superpower, love” He said, opening his eyes “I can sense everything you’re doing, even in my sleep”

You chuckled as you brought your eyes to meet his, letting out a sigh as you got lost in his sea of blue “I’m sorry, you should go back to sleep. I won’t bother you with my stare anymore”

Luke shook his head, stretching out his arm to you and pulling you closer to him “It’s never a bother if it’s you, my love” You hummed and placed a little kiss to his chest “Besides, what time is it anyways?”

“I don’t know. Wasn’t really paying attention to the time” You said, cuddling up closer to him “I got you for the day, so time is not one of my concerns as long as you’re here. Just wanna feel you close today”

Luke kissed the top of your head “Your wish is my command” He said, drawing patterns with his thumb at the side of your arm until you both drifted back to sleep.

“You know me better than I do

Can't seem to keep nothing from you

How you touch my soul from the outside

Permeate my ego and my pride”

You heard the front door close with a bang, making Petunia jump from her seat next to you to go see what’s happening.

“Luke?” You asked looking over your shoulder just in time to see him walk inside the kitchen without saying hello to you like he always does.

You could tell the stiffness of his shoulders from a mile away and how his haired seemed to be completely out of place. Something was wrong. You got up from the couch and followed after him.

Luke was crouched down with his head almost inside the fridge, looking for something frantically “Are there any more beers?” He called, not acknowledging you.

“We ran out of them yesterday” You said softly. Luke murmured a ‘for fucks sake’ before slamming the refrigerator door “I’ll go to the supermarket tomorrow… Luke is everything-?”

“Yes, Y/N! Everything is fine” He said throwing his hands up in the air and passing them through his curls, messing them up a little bit more.

You tried to say something but he quickly walked past you “I’m gonna take a shower” He said as he walked up the stairs.

You waited exactly five minutes before following him.

As you entered your shared bedroom you found his clothes piled up at one corner. You grabbed them softly and folded them, knowing that he’ll appreciate that gesture tomorrow when things are more cooled down. Then you walked to the bathroom and thanked the gods when you found the door was unlocked. Slowly, you took your clothes off and hopped into the shower next to him.

Luke had his back to you, already so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t hear you come in. However, he didn’t find it surprising when your arms wrapped around his waist and your head was pressed onto his back.

He sighed as he brought one hand to cover yours “Bad day, love?” You asked. He only nodded “Wanna talk about it?”

Luke stayed silent for a while, but you were in no rush. You knew that he would want to talk about it later on if not now. That’s just who he is, always trying his best to communicate.

Finally, after for what it felt like an eternity, he said bitterly “Ashton was a total ass today”

“Oh?” You asked, waiting for him to expand on his statement.

“He just won’t cave!” Luke said, letting his frustration take over “We talked about this idea for a song and we almost got it ready, but he keeps changing it and saying we should drop it and that it’s not a good idea and-“

“And probably you are both just being stubborn?”

Luke turned around with a confused face “Are you on his side now?”

You shook your head “Babe, I’m on your side. Always” You brought your hand to his cheek, softly caressing it as you spoke “But I know how you can get when you’re tired, and this is not the first time you clash with Ashton for a thing like this, right?” He nodded “You two are just so passionate for what you do and it’s easy to get blinded by that sometimes. Maybe you’re just not hearing each other's views on the song because you’re so immersed in your own ideas that everything seems like an attack. You should just talk it out… and if that doesn’t work you could always challenge him to a duel and fight to the death”

Your comment made Luke chuckle, bringing you a sense of victory as you watch the smile come back to his face.

“How are you always right?” He asked, placing his hands at the sides of your waist, caressing it softly.

“It’s a talent” You said nonchalantly, making him laugh again “Now come, baby boy. You are still stressed and I can’t let you walk out like that. Let me make you feel better”

“You love my lips 'cause they say the

Things we've always been afraid of

I can feel it startin' to subside

Learnin' to believe in what is mine”

You walked hand in hand through the front door, still a little tipsy from the last remains of alcohol that subsided in your system.

You let out a moan when you took your heels off by the door, not bothering to look at them till tomorrow morning.

Luke couldn’t stop staring at you as you murmured something about being thirsty or hungry while walking to the kitchen. He was absolutely smitten by you and he couldn’t believe his luck of having you by his side.

As he walked into the kitchen, he watched with a gleam in his eyes as you sip on your bottle of water, holding your hair in a messy bun while the zipper of your dress was already half way down. It was just a mundane act after a party, but he was completely enamoured by you.

“Do I tell you that I love you enough times a day?” He asked, bringing your attention to him.

“Well, I’m not complaining, am I?” You smiled at him “Why?”

“I just feel like I don’t tell you enough. I don’t know if I could ever tell you just how much I love you and if that will be enough one day”

He walked over to you and placed his hands at your sides. His blue eyes were fixed on yours and you could not -nor did you want to look away.

“When we first started dating I was so afraid to say it, but I knew I loved you from the first moment I saw you. Maybe I should’ve started saying that then, but it still won’t be enough. Would it?” He said, bringing one hand to caress your cheek “I still don’t know how I manage to get that first date”

You chuckled “You were lucky I had my eye on you from the beginning” You joked, making him laugh as well “I still don’t know how are you mine? Why are with me while you could be with literally any person in the world?”

“Because I love you, Y/N” He said, thoroughly convinced “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are an amazing person, lover, friend… You are the whole package and I believe you’re the one settling for me. You are perfect in every way and I love you more than life itself. Why is it so hard for you to believe?”

You felt tears threatening to escape your eyes at his words. Good tears as he made your heart fluttered with love.

“'Cause nobody ever loved me like you do, Luke. Before you I couldn't believe it or see it for myself, my baggage being too heavy for anyone to understand till you came along. Now all that baggage is fading and I know what true happiness is” You smiled, bringing his hand to your lips and giving a kiss to his knuckles “I wanna love me the way that you love me. I'd love to see me from your point of view. Maybe that way I’d learn to love you better than I already do. Cause baby, you deserve the world and I’ll do my best to give it to you”

Luke smiled as he cupped your cheeks and brought you closer to him, lips almost touching as he said “I already have my world right here. I love you”

“Even with all of my ugly?”

“With all of your beautiful. All of you, Y/N” He said before bringing your lips together in a long awaited kiss.

“Now I'm out here, fallin', fallin'”

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rogershoe · 4 years

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Lights, Camera, Action

Part One

Masterlist

Summary: You’re a production assistant on the set of Cursed. The night before your first day at work, you opened your laptop to shockingly realise you’d be working with Daniel Sharman (and a plethora of other amazing actors), someone you’d been watching on screen since you were a teenager. You kept your expectations low, the PAs rarely got to interact with the talent…what was your chance?

Word Count: 2.5k

Tag list: @sxperncturalimpala67 @mrsaaronkeener @tinygardensoul @disasterday @5am-cigarette @lancelotapricot @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @slytherlight @18somethingpsyche @ceruleanmusings @glxctt @cavillxhenry @lovelyapplessss @hereagainsstuff @linkpk88 @aliceperdida @weeping-redemption @magicalsaladnacho

(I’m so sorry, tumblr isn’t letting me properly tag some of these accounts ;(

Warnings: Age gap between reader and Daniel, slow burn? (Don’t know if that should be a warning haha)

Notes: I didn’t specify the reader’s age since I wasn’t sure what you guys would be comfortable with ;) Plzz lmk what the maximum age gap is that you all would be okay with or I’ll just decide on one myself haha (also lmk if you’d like to be in the tag list!!). This is my first Daniel x reader fic so plz leave ideas and suggestions! (I myself am not actually sure where exactly this fic is going lmao). Tysm for reading!!

p.s Huey Kerrigan is the actual name of one of the second assistant directors of Cursed :)

Sunday, January 6th 2019

10:16 pm

You opened your laptop nervously, your leg bouncing against your couch. It was your last night as a jobless woman and that both excited and scared you. You opened your email, scanning your mail quickly before your eyes landed on “Call Sheet”. You clicked on the email and saw that there were two documents attached. The second was labelled “Cast List”. Your eyes widened when you realised you would be finding out who you were working with tonight. Not tomorrow. Not at work. Tonight.

You forgot about the call sheet and quickly clicked on the one about the cast. As your eyes scanned the list, you gasped audibly as a name caught your attention.

“Daniel Sharman”

Daniel Sharman? The Daniel Sharman? The one you had been practically in love with when you were 17? (Not anymore of course).

Your heart beat faster as you scanned the rest of the list….”Katherine Langford”…….”Gustaf Skarsgard”..those were the only other two names you recognised so far. Now you couldn’t wait to get to work. You were even more eager but also increasingly anxious to wake up tomorrow. Would you even get to see the actors? If you did, would you be able to meet them? You had so many questions but no one to answer them. Trying to push all of the increasingly complicated thoughts out of your mind, you closed your laptop and got up off the couch to head into your room. You lived alone in your flat, full of piles of DVDs in a corner, two worn out but comfy couches, and your greatest purchase to this day….a large flat screen TV. You wouldn’t call your flat small, it was just…cozy. You looked around at the space admiringly before entering your bedroom and closing the door behind you

Monday, January 7th 2019

4:15 am

You woke up with a jolt, breathing heavily. You looked around for your phone grabbing it and swiping across the screen to turn your alarm off. You closed your eyes and laid down, breathing deeply.

The day was finally here. Your first day on set. You had to admit that by now most of the excitedness had been replaced with anxious thoughts. You attempted to ignore them as you opened your phone again to check your messages etc. Nope, nothing interesting.

At 4:25 you finally decided to muster up all the strength you had to pull yourself out of bed. You had to be at work by 5:30 meaning you should leave around 5:10.

You sat at the edge of your bed, rubbing your eyes. You hoped you wouldn’t fall asleep on set….you wouldn’t be surprised if you did.

You got up and walked into your bathroom. You looked into the mirror and immediately looked away. Waking up at 4:00 had only made your eye bags more prominent. Your hair was disheveled and eyes crusty. You tried not to look at yourself again until after you were dressed. You freshened up, washed your face, brushed your teeth etc before going back in your room to wear your clothes.

You had had an outfit ready since last week. They had told you to wear comfortable clothing and comfortable shoes. The most comfortable thing you had were sweatpants but you knew they didn’t mean those so instead you settled for a pair of your most comfortable jeans and a plain black t-shirt.

You changed and then went to your dresser. After some concealer, mascara, and tinted lip balm..you looked a bit more presentable. You could’ve gone completely barefaced but it was your first day and you wanted to look good.

The nerves could’ve killed you at this point. It was exactly 5:05 when you grabbed the call sheet you had printed this morning, your phone, your keys, and headed out of your apartment. You rode down the elevator and arrived at your car, a second hand red Fiat.

You fumbled with your keys before pressing a button and unlocking your car. You sat in the front seat and started the engine,

5:28 am

You pulled into the parking lot of the studio and parked your car in the “crew” area. You hoped this wasn’t the director’s spot or anyone else’s for that matter. As a production assistant, you were right at the bottom of the film crew ladder and answerable to any and everyone on set. Although that thought scared you, you were completely new so hopefully they would cut you some slack.

A week ago when you had gotten a call from the second assistant director (AD), he had told you to come into the building and find him. From there he would tell you what to do.

You walked around to the back of the building where there were six or seven people walking around with headsets, setting up chairs and tables. There were also several trailers set up in the parking lot, no doubt some for the actors. You nervously went up to one of them,

“Hi, where could I find the second assistant director?” you asked

“You’re new?” he replied ignoring your question.

“Yeah” you said smiling slightly

“PA I’m guessing?” he said and you nodded

“He’s in the studio, ask any of the crew inside, they’ll know” he said and smiled, opening a chair.

“Thanks” you said and quickly walked inside through the back door.

Inside it was exactly like what you had imagined. People bustling around, many sporting walkie talkies and headsets. Some held papers, some were talking to each other. You stood in a hallway lined with grey walls. As you walked through the halls you came upon what you guessed was the main studio. It was huge, you could barely see the roof through all of the lighting fixtures. There were multiple props on set but you could tell that the set hadn’t been completely set up yet. This wasn’t the only studio though of course. Judging by the size of the building, there were probably multiple sets. You were in awe for a few moments before realising you had to find the AD. You went up to someone who was setting up water bottles on a long white table.

“Hey, would you happen to know where the second AD is?” you asked

She looked over her shoulder, her short blonde hair tied into a small bun at the back of her head,

“Yeah he’s right over there”, she pointed towards a man who was holding a clipboard and also wore a headset. He had black hair and glasses and looked to be about in his 40s.

You smiled gratefully at her before turning around and walking towards the man. He was looking at his clipboard intently, chewing on his black pen. Your heart beat faster, you hoped he was the right guy. You walked up to him, keeping your distance..not wanting to disturb his thought process.

“Hi I’m Y/N’ you said quickly, waiting for his response. It didn’t come. After a few seconds he looked up at you and put his pen in his pocket.

“PA right?” he asked unconcerned.

“Yes” you said letting out a breath, at least he remembered you.

“I’m Huey Kerrigan”, he suddenly started past you, towards the hallway. You followed him not knowing what else to do. He pointed at the large white table the girl was setting bottles of water on,

“This is the snacks table, you’ll have to set it up in the morning and also restock it throughout the day”

“Got it” you said quickly, not wanting to seem like you were ignoring him

He walked in front of you passing through the hallway and swerving around the many other members of the crew. He walked through the back door you had just passed through a few minutes ago into the cool fresh air. You took a deep breath and followed him to what looked like a charging station beside the tall concrete walls of the studio.

“These are the batteries, aka hot and cold bricks” he pointed to two crates and a table on which there were multiple charging batteries. The “station” was covered by a large white canopy.

“Hot bricks are charged batteries and you must have one on you the entire time in case a crew member needs it. They’ll give you their dead battery aka a cold brick and you bring it here to charge” you were silent for a few seconds trying to process what he had just told you.

“Got it?” he asked

“Yeah…got it” you stuttered smiling nervously

He continued walking and took you right to where all the trailers were parked.

“This is the basecamp,” he said, waving his hand towards all the trailers.

“All the actors’ trailers, the hair and makeup trailers, they’re all here”

You felt a jolt of excitement before remembering to reply, “Okay, cool”

He nodded and continued walking throughout the several trailers, there had to be at least forty. You also scanned your eyes over the area, hoping to maybe get a glimpse of the actors or their trailers.

As if he read your mind he said, “The talent isn’t here yet. They arrive around 6:20 am, get their hair and makeup done and start shooting around 8:30 am….of course this all depends on the day”

You nodded, making sure he saw you.

For the next 20 minutes he showed you around the basecamp and exactly where the makeup and hair trailers were. He also told you about how you never talked to the talent unless you had something to tell them, they had to be somewhere, or if they talked to you. You couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed, you weren’t surprised but had still hoped you’d get a small chance to maybe have a chat with the actors.

When you went back inside you saw that the studio had completely transformed. There was one set which looked to be a room with three or four beds and wooden features. Another set opposite that was of what looked to be a marble room with shelves and a white bed. It all looked so realistic that if you were in the set area you wouldn’t have even realized you were in a studio.

“We’re shooting a scene today from episode three, these sets” he waved towards the area, “are from scenes taking place in an abbey”

He stuck a hand down his pocket, wiggling his fingers about before removing it holding a crumpled paper.

“This is the main cast in these scenes,” he said, handing it to me. I nodded quickly grabbing and unfolding the sheet.

Main cast list for abbey scenes

Katherine Langford

Peter Mullen

Daniel Sharman

Shalom Brune-Franklin

Emily Coates

Sophie Harkness

Caroline Lee Johnson

Gabriel Akuwudike

Your heart leapt inside of you when you realised you’d get to see all these actors today.

“You’re green so you won’t be needing the list today” he continued and you looked up from the paper, “but in a few days, you will”

You guessed green meant someone who was new.

He walked further into the studio, to the large snacks table and handed you four bottles of water. “You first task” he said smiling, “take these to the grips over there”. He pointed to four men on ladders adjusting the lighting above the wooden room set.

“Okay sure” you said grinning, happy you could start working.

“And then go over to the team of PAs and ask what else you can help with”

Before you could reply, he abruptly walked away and out of your sight. You took a deep breath and walked over to the set where the “grips” were. The set was amazing, the sheer detail of the beds and the door and the walls and the small trunks at the end of each bed were unbelievable. You took a few seconds to admire it before trotting over to the three men and one girl. You looked at your watch, it was 6:11 am.

“Yeah, just screw it a bit tighter” one guy said squinting at the light fixture from the ground.

A man on the ladder moved his hand, adjusting the light bulb.

“Hey, I got you guys some water” you said, hopeful they heard you

The girl grabbed the four bottles from you without a word handing one to the man beside her and putting the other two on the ground next to the ladder which the two men were currently on. She wore glasses and had long brown hair held back by a hairband.

“Thanks” she said glancing quickly at you and then getting back to work.

You smiled slightly, remembering that you really were on the very last rung of the ladder of crew members.

You walked away from the set and towards the snacks table, thinking of what to do next. You decided that you should go get a hot brick since that was something Huey said you should have on you at all times. After that you could come back inside and find the rest of the PAs.

You headed outside, having to be careful and not bump into anyone in the hallway. The fresh air was welcome after the several people brushing past you inside. You walked over to the canopy covered area to get a “hot brick”. You knelt down placing one knee on the ground to steady yourself. Before looking through the crate, you decided to tie your hair up since you saw that almost everyone on set had their hair somehow kept away from their face. As you were pulling your hair back, you saw a black car pull into the parking lot, a few spaces away from the crew parking. Your heart beat a bit faster as you tied your hair tie around your hair. Could it be…?

Although you knew getting starstruck was the worst thing that could happen to you as a PA, you couldn’t help but stay there as you tightened your hair, not wanting to remove your eyes from the car. It pulled into a parking space and you saw a man step out. As he locked the car and started walking towards the basecamp you realised it was exactly who you thought it was.

Daniel fucking Sharman.

Now your heart was beating fast, threatening to leap out of your chest. He was wearing a grey shirt, jeans and sunglasses and was walking towards one of the trailers, probably his. He was far from you but still, his eye caught yours as he turned his head towards the battery station. Your cheeks heated up and you looked away quickly, mentally slapping yourself. You had practically been ogling your eyes at him..and he had seen you. You knew he knew that you were looking at him. After a few seconds, you pulled yourself together, looked back in his direction and saw that he was entering his trailer his head facing forward again…the the door closed behind him and you let out a deep breath.

You scolded yourself..you couldn’t get this starstruck whenever you saw him or any of the other actors..they were human after all not some sort of gods. You turned towards the crates and grabbed a charged battery, putting it into your jeans’ back pocket. Although you tried to convince yourself that he didn’t have any effect on you, you couldn’t help but be delighted about your luck that you would be working with him out of all the other actors in the world.

Plz plz plzzz comment how you liked this first part! I need some feedback 😂😭

Part two

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thevampiresiren · 4 years

Text

Helping Yoongi Shave

Word Count: 2.5K

Genre: Fluff, Humor

WARNINGS: Soft!Yoongi, Tooth Aching Fluff, Cursing, Slight Suggestive Themes (nothing major, just some suggestive flirting and a little talk of sex. Yoongi also puts his hands on the reader's butt)

Summary: Yoongi needs to shave, but he's too tired to do it himself. So he teaches you how to shave him.

A/n: So… This is the very first Fanfic that I wrote and I’m not going to lie; I was a very nervous about posting it until one of my friends read it for me and loved it. I’m not sure if I’ll be doing this stuff as a part of my blog ALL the time, but if I can think of anything and if it comes out good; I’ll definitely post it. Also I just REALLY wanted to do a Yoongi shaving fanfic because I think helping your significant other shave is SO intimate and involves a lot of trust. I hope you guys like it!

I was passed out on the couch in the living room when I woke up to the sound of keys jingling outside the apartment door. As Holly got up from laying next to my feet, I picked up my phone and saw that it was around 1:30 am. As the door opened, I heard the brown toy poodle bark happily while he was spanning around in a circle while footsteps stopped to where he was. "Shhh, Holly. You're gonna wake Mom up." My boyfriend whispered petting the fluffy canine.

"Too late, she's awake." I yawned while stretching with a smile on my face. Yoongi looked up from petting Holly.

"I'm sorry, Jagiya. I thought you were in bed." Yoongi said while taking his shoes off, setting his work bag down, and walking over to me. I smiled as he tilted my chin up to gently peck my lips. When he pulled away, he laughed loudly. "What?" I asked.

"Nice bed head, babe". He said smirking while nodding at me. I ran my my finger through hair and sighed. "Hey, don't be upset. It's cute." He said standing up and kissing my check. I felt a slight roughness on my skin once he made contact. I look at his upper lip and chin, smirking.

"Nice stubble, babe." I copied. He touched his face and groaned. "Don't be upset. Its cute." I mocked. Yoongi smiled.

"I'm gonna go get changed. I'm too tired to shave tonight." He said yawning while walking to our bedroom. Holly and I followed not far behind and he laid down in his little bed starting to doze off again knowing his dad was home. I walked in and saw that Yoongi had put his glasses on and changed into his black sweatpants that hung loosly on his hips and was topless. He was by no means the buffest man in world, nor did he have majorly defined abs; but he was toned enough that you could see his pecs, and when the light hit right at the correct angel; his faint abs from him most recently working out would show up. He was perfect. His arm muscles slightly moved as he threw his clothes into hamper. I was too busy admiring him before he broke me from trance. "You okay over there? If I didn't know any better I'd get the feeling you're checking me out." He said with a cocky smirk. I smiled and pushed myself off the door frame I was leaning on.

"Nah, I think your hideous and by no means attractive. And you do it to me all the time." I said jokingly.

"Your loud noises from me pinning you down two nights ago and those dark marks say otherwise, baby girl". He said smirking. I blushed while trying to cover the "love marks" on my neck and where my shoulders met.

"Shut up and let me enjoy my hot boyfriend's body when we aren't fucking." I said laughing. Yoongi let out chuckle before he went off to the master bathroom to brush his teeth. I changed out of my day clothes into nothing but his white Fear of God shirt that hit my mid thighs and put my hair in a high ponytail.

"Aish! Its so fucking bad" Yoongi groaned loudly. I looked in and saw him examining his facial hair, clearly upset with how fast it was growing. "Yoon, just shave it tomorrow before you go to work. You need sleep." I said walking over to him. I knew he was beyong exhausted by how irritated he sounded and by the slight bags under his eyes. It was comeback season and I knew he was over working himself a bit. He was eating healthy and was taking care of himself like he has been, but I still worried about him. "I can't, we have an interview in the morning and we have dance practice. Plus, I need to finish up a song in the home studio once I wake up." He said leaning his head against the mirror pouting; his raven bangs falling and covering his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his bare torso and leaned my cheek on his broad shoulder making him shiver at the contact. "What if I do it for you?" I said quietly.

"My work?"

"No, dumbass." I said pulling away laughing while he turned around. "I mean shave your face." I said poking his chubby cheeks and kissing his pout.

"You sure you're not to tired to do that for me?"

"I wouldn't be offering if I was."

"Yes you would, because I'd do it too for you."

"I've already gotten at least 4 hours of sleep. You've been up since 6 am. I have more energy and I don't want you stressing out over it. Let me do it, baby. Let me take care of you." I said seriously.

"God, I can't wait to make you my wife." He said sighing. I laughed loudly "Who said I would say yes if your proposed?".

"We've talked about it and you were weak at the knees when I told you I would give you as many kids as you want and I would find a way to make it work for you, the kids, and music. Plus, you let me take your v-card. You've already said yes based on that like I did." Yoongi said laughing.

I blushed. "Just go get your damn razor and everything else." I said crossing my arms over my chest. Yoongi turned around and opened the medicine cabinet to pull out his shaving cream, aftershave, and the black leather case that he kept his razor in. He set everything in front of the sink and scooted out of the way for me to work. I opened up the case and saw exactly what type of razor it was. Anxiety shivered through my body as I pulled the razor out carefully. I just came to the realization that I had never actually SEEN his razor. He usually was using it on tour or even over at the dorm with the rest of the guys. Whenever he did shave here, it was in the shower.

"Yoongs..."

"Yeah?"

"This is a straight razor...". I said quietly.

"I know. It gets closer to my skin and the shave lasts longer. It works better for me than a normal one.". I carefully opened the blade far away from either of us at the risk of us getting cut. I stared at it and my anxiety just continued to grow. These were dangerous and I'd never used one before.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Yoongi said looking at me concerned while reaching out and gently rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm scared I'm going to pull a Thomas Brown Hewitt and slit your throat while I shave you. I can't afford a lawsuit as big as you." I said casually as I carefully set the razor down after I slowly put the blade back. Yoongi busted out laughing loudly at my comment.

"You'll do fine, Kitten." He said calmly after he collected himself. "I'll show you how to use it on yourself first if that'll make you more comfortable.". I thought for a moment and nodded my head agreeing. Yoongi grabbed the shaving cream and turned the water on so it was hot but not scolding. "Fuck." Yoongi said looking down, his deep raspy voice just slightly about a whisper as he just noticed what I was wearing. I smirked at him with a face that said "really?" .

"Sorry, you just look really fucking cute." He said blushing. Yoongi showed me how to put the cream on my legs which was no different than I normally do. He then grabbed the razor, instructing me to put my hand where his was. He lightly wrapped his large hand around my wrist, and started.

"Okay, so the trick is to go with the grain of hair; never against it. It can cause bumps and ingrown hairs. Also keep your hand at a 30-degree angle. Anything more will cut yourself. Make sure the skin is always taught as well. And go slow and gentle. Like this.". Yoongi began helping me shave where my ankle was and guiding me with the right amount of pressure. After a few more strokes of him helping me, I had enough confidence to do it on my own. It wasn't as hard or scary as I thought. After 20 minutes, I had both of my legs shaved and set the blade down on the sink. I ran my hands down my legs and noticed how smoother my legs were. I had no cuts, bumps, or anything like I normally would. "I DID IT YOONGI! I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF!". I yelled extremely happy that I didn't have to go to the ER, wrapping my arms around Yoongi's neck . He laughed at how excited I was.

"I told you that you could do it. Are you ready to try it on me now?" He said picking the blade back up. I smiled and told him to sit down on the counter of the bathroom sink. Once he was sat down and his glasses were off, I put the water on and shaving cream on his face. Just when I had turned to grab the razor; I felt a large warm hand on my wrist. "Um.. wait a second."

While I went to look over at Yoongi; I felt a soft, light, pressure on my left cheek followed by a muffled sound. I looked between my face and part of my hair covered in white, to Yoongi's right hand also covered in white and the right side of his face showing his skin underneath. It took me a second to get over my shock before I began processing what had just happened. "MIN YOONGI." I yelled, waking Holly up, making him barm from the disturbance of his sleep before going back to bed. Yoongi busted out in a full-on laugh attack causing him to almost fall off the sink before catching himself. As I washed the shaving cream off of me, I looked annoyed but also amused at him being playful. "I want a divorce already." I said laughing with him. Once we both settled down and Yoongi had his face covered in shaving cream again; I grabbed the razor and was about to start shaving him when my anxiety started getting the better of my again. Yoongi sensed my anxiety sparking and grabbed my hand that wasn't holding the razor.

"Hey." Yoongi said while he looked up at me lovingly, running his long fingers over mine soothingly. "I trust you okay. I know you won't hurt me." He said before kissing my knuckles, careful not to get the shaving cream on my hand. I nodded smiling and slowly started shaving him. Several minutes in shaving him, while I was concentrating, I felt Yoongi's hands reach behind me to my upper thighs, pulling me closer. He gently started rubbing soothing circles on them and messaging my ass.

"Keep it PG, Min. I have weapon and I'm not afraid to use it." I said jokingly making him chuckle.

"You know what you in my clothes do to me." He said with a tired smirk. His dark lashes hit his cheekbones as he relaxed under my touch. I smiled at a how serene he looked, and it took everything in me not to kiss him. Once I was done, I rubbed my nose against his causing him to open one eye and smile. I grabbed the washcloth and gently cleaned whatever was left of his shaving gel. I grabbed his Invictus aftershave and put some on his face.

"Okay, I'm think done." I said proud of myself. Yoongi put his glasses back on and grabbed the handheld mirror I had held out to him and examined his face closely. A huge smile hit his lips and he wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and pulled me to his broad chest. "You did amazing Jagi. Thank you." He said as he muzzled his face into my neck.

"You're welcome, Yoons." I said tiredly as I ran my fingers through his soft locks, laying my head on top of his. The faint smell of his aftershave along with the smell of him in general hitting my nose made me feel tired as I gently messaged his head. Yoongi hummed quietly into my neck before placing chaste lazy kissing to my neck, chest, below my ear lobe, cheeks, temple, nose, and finally my lips.

"I love soft, cuddly Yoongi." I said giggling. Yoongi looked at me with a soft smile, our noses touching.

"I thought you loved rough, dominate Yoongi?" He said rubbing our noses together.

"Ehh, I like all sides. I'm an easy woman to please." I said looking at him smiling before telling him it was time for us to go to bed. He yawned while nodding and we headed to our bed, setting his glasses down on the nightstand. He pulled me close, so my head was laying on his chest and placed his hand on the side of my face. Our centimeters away from each other he smiled and looked into my eyes with his full of love, care, warmth, and passion. "I love you so much, Jagi." He said tired while stroking my cheek bone. I leaned it connected my lips to his in a sweet but passionate kiss. We both pulled away with giant smiles on our faces. I responded looking tiredly into his eyes. "I love you too, Yoongi.". I layed my head on my pillow, my face buried in his neck breathing in his scent while he buried his in my hair, arms wrapped tightly around me. "I can't believe you smashed me in the face with shaving cream." I said quietly.

"That's what you get for staring at me and then parading around our bedroom in my shirt and your lace panties you brat.". He responded letting out and airy chuckle. I smiled before closing my eyes and falling asleep to his light breathing.

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #bts yoongi #bts #bts x reader #bts fanfction

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100layersofdaddyissues · 3 years

Text

angel - Chapter 1 (reupload)

hi so ive only just noticed this morning that the first chapter of angel was deleted somehow so here is the re-upload for anyone whose been looking for it.

warnings: smut, drug use

word count: 4.2K

No one could tell you how you should feel. And although so many had tried, none had been able to successfully warn you of the danger that came with being involved with Maxwell Lord. It was well known that the man ruled over everything the light touched. That power is what attracted you to him in the first place. He was strong and competent (for the most part) and above all, he was rich. Initially, that’s really all that mattered to you. You’d never been the type of young woman to show a romantic interest in the people you dated.Iit didn’t matter whether they were attractive or nice, just so long as they had connections and enough cash to spare. Then you were theirs for as long as you could stand them.

Truth be told, you’d never really considered Max a target; it’s no secret there was an age gap there. And admittedly, you thought he would be the type to want to settle down and get married soon. That truly did not interest you in the slightest. Your story with Maxwell began like any other of your “relationships”, you just happened to be in his vicinity on a fateful day. In the dark corner of a dingy club, just on the outskirts of the downtown red light district. You didn’t have any hope of a fruitful encounter. It wasn’t the most high class so you had of course assumed that no one of monetary worth would be lurking in this place. With a sticky floor and bartenders that, for a few dollars more, would look the other way when it came to what went into pretty girls drinks. Just breathing the air in this postcode would taint one’s reputation.

As you stood in your dark corner you observed the girls in their mini skirts, shaking their ass in hopes of some free drinks, or maybe a reason not to have to go home that night., h There he was, Maxwell Lord himself. It surprised you to find him staring you dead in the eyes. You let your eyes shamelessly drag down his form. Standing tall in a perfectly tailored powder blue suit with his blonde hair slicked back as it always was. His height and broad stature towered above the skinny men who haunted this club with their presence. All of them wishing to be akin to Mick Jagger or Robert Plant, though the only resemblance was the big hair and the ominous white powder that they had carelessly neglected to wipe off their noses. Maxwell was staring at you with some sort of intent in his eyes.

You held his gaze for a moment longer, observing the man in his glory, you turned away your head. Before you could see him start to make his way to you, you returned your eyes to their previous spot. He was gone.Your eyes darted back and forth searching for where he had disappeared, when a breathy voice made its way into your ear.

“Are you looking for someone, doll?”

It was no louder than a whisper, it could barely be heard over the pounding of Michael Sembello’s Maniac, but it was so distinguished you didn’t even have to turn your head to know where or who it came from. And yet when you did, you still felt surprised seeing him stand there, a sultry glint in his eyes. ”Why did he come to speak to you?” you wondered.

“Well I was, but it seems like he found me before I found him.” You said with what you had hoped sounded like seduction dripping from your voice.

“Have you got a name? Or should I just call you angel, because from where I’m standing that’s really the only name that would honour someone as breathtaking as you.”

Logically, you knew he was coming onto you. You’d been club hopping all night, cocaine and ecstasy mixed with sweat dripping from your pores, you knew he couldn’t be serious in thinking you looked that good. But you can’t help but have been allured to his reputation as a powerful business man, and even more powerful lover.

“My name is Y/N but if you’d like to call me Angel that’s perfectly fine with me.”

“Well Y/N it’s a pleasure to meet someone as beautiful as you, I’m Ma- “

“Mr. Lord, trust me, I am well aware of who you are. I don’t think anyone in here wouldn’t know you, except maybe him.” you say pointing to the old man who clearly misinterpreted the vibe of the club walking in, seeing as he was sitting at the bar with his head on the counter almost definitely asleep.

“You make an excellent point, maybe someone should probably try waking him up, it's almost concerning.” He says with a deep chuckle, as you join in giggling with him.

“I’m going to reason with you here Y/N. I’m very bored and you’re very beautiful. So would you like to leave with me? I’ve got an apartment just a block away.You can come back with me, and maybe keep me company?”

As he spoke, Maxwell moved his face closer to you until his face was merely an inch or so from your face. You barely needed to nod before he grabbed your hand leading you out of the club, into the cold of the night.

Within minutes you were standing out the front of his apartment building. Beginning to feel the cool air tint your skin a shade of purple, you can't imagine you would have been very attractive. The heat of the lobby hit you as the doorman greeted you, opening the door and telling ‘Mr Lord’ to have an excellent morning, huh, morning, you hadn’t even considered that you’d be been out that long, but alas looking at the big grandfather clock at the back of the lobby you read 4:20.

When approaching the elevator, you saw Maxwell slightly flick his head and the attendant left the small space with a smile. You assumed it was a usual occurrence for him to not question why Maxwell was telling him to leave, although you didn’t doubt you were the first person for him to be bringing back to his home. You were standing in the elevator quite awkwardly while Maxwell pushed the number of his floor in. 135. You were suddenly grateful that you lacked a fear of heights, as you pondered whether that was a rational fear to have or not, Maxwell was once again very close to your face.

“I know I’ve already told you quite a few times tonight, but you are absolutely stunning, can I kiss you?” His tone was surprisingly sincere as he spoke in a hushed tone.

“I never really pegged you as the asking type Maxwell.” You said mischievously thinking it would lighten the mood.

But he stayed serious as he said “just because I’m a dick doesn’t mean your consent isn’t important to me”

You were stunned. But the moment you said yes, his demeanour changed and he smashed his lips to yours. It was rough and passionate and everything you’d expected in the beginning. Hot and fiery, but definitely careless. He was dominating you already, and you knew in that moment that you were in for a rough night.

The elevator door opened with a light ding, revealing what looked like a mansion. It was easily at least 30 times bigger than your own apartment. You walked around with amazement spread across your face, unable to contain your awe of the beauty that is this place. Your eyes trailed around the room and suddenly landed on the view of the city, you walked toward the floor to ceiling windows in what you assumed to be the living room.

“This is absolutely incredible Max! I can’t believe you live in a place like this!” you said with amazement and wonderment dripping from your voice.

“Actually I don’t live here, I just have this place for when I’m going clubbing and can’t be bothered calling my driver to take me home. I live in the middle of the city, just over there.” Max said as he came up behind you to point at the tallest building in the skyline.

Your eyes widened in wonder and amusement, as he started to kiss your neck

“Well maybe I could see that place sometime then?”

He abruptly stopped kissing you.

“No, no one goes there but family, I don’t take anyone to my home. You understand?”

Though it kind of stung that he was so abrupt about it, you nodded in understanding. You didn’t care enough to be hurt that he didn’t want to show you his home, as far as you were concerned you’d never see this place again either. This was a one night stand, you didn’t care whether it happened again or not.

With that, he spun you around and smashed his lips against yours with such force you felt his teeth snag your bottom lip without even realising. You stumbled over your feet as Maxwell pulled you from the wall. He started pushing you in what you could only assume was the direction of the bedroom. He reached behind you and fumbled with the door knob to push you through what you would discover tomorrow to be an ornate archway. When your legs hit the back of the bed, he pushed you off him and stood so tall over you, so dominating in stance. Your mouth and pussy began to water with anticipation. There was a promise of an unforgettable time that gleamed in his lust-blown eyes. His hair was a mess as he took his suit jacket off and his tie, rolling his sleeves up he looked the image of sex. As he grabbed your legs to pull you to the edge of the bed roughly, he locked eyes with yours. Keeping his gaze, you felt him trace a path that led up your legs, to your thighs, to your hips, where he slowly dragged your lace underwear down and promptly pocketed it. You weren’t going to ask for them back; you wanted him to remember you.

“Sit up, take your dress off, and lay back down at the edge of the bed” his tone was domineering and forceful, you did exactly as you were told.

As he watched you with attentive eyes, he knelt down next to the bed as you lay back down, he put his hands around the back of your thighs and pulled you so close that his nose brushed against your clitoris. He was so close you could feel his breath and you were so aroused that it was already stimulating you just to feel those tiny puffs of air.

You began squirming in place, whining “Maxwell, please, I’m begging you to do something!”

“I do so love a needy baby girl, but the more you beg, the more I’m going to torture you doll.”

His voice was seductive, but you knew his threat was anything but; he meant business. You wished with all your might that there would be another opportunity where you could test his threat, but right now you needed an orgasm and you needed it quick. So you did what you did best: Be a Good Little Girl. So you shut your mouth and nodded your head.

“No no angel, I want to hear your words. What do you have to say for yourself? Hmm?”

“I’m sorry I’ll be quiet and I wont whine, sir”

“Sir? You learn quickly, I might just have to keep you,” you couldn’t lie, you wish it didn’t excite you as much as it did to hear him say that he wanted to keep you. He was exactly your type, powerful and rich, you wanted to be kept by him.

After what felt like an eternity, his mouth finally attached itself to you. He wasted no time going absolutely feral on your clit, licking and sucking and the slight bite here and there. It was absolute euphoria. He didn’t waste any time before shoving two fingers deep into your cunt. He curled them in just the right way for it to hit your spot, and you felt a jolt course through your body. You were kicking yourself for wasting time on the young socialites in the city who couldn’t eat pussy for shit; when it was clear the older they were, the more gained experience. This held exceptionally true with Max. Within minutes you could feel the familiar knot building in the pits of your stomach, and it was only moments before he was coaxing you to orgasm with his fingers while his mouth tried to tie a knot into your clit with his tongue. Never has a man made you come from any sort of sexual encounter. You were already shaking when his face raised itself from your pussy as he started kissing his way back up your body, you didn’t know how long you’d be able to last with him fucking you if his dick was as good as his mouth.

“I’ve never had such a pretty thing like you react in such an explosive way to my mouth, are you just trying to stroke my ego angel?” his face was mere centimetres from yours as you heaved out heavy breaths just trying to compose yourself enough to speak actual words instead of loud moans and quiet whines.

“No that was nothing short of incredible. I’m not the type of woman to fake it. That was fucking incredible, I’ve never had an experience like that that wasn’t caused by my own hand.”

He chuckled lowly before saying, “well now I know you’re just trying to inflate me. You think that was good just you wait doll. You’ve got a long morning ahead of you.” And you didn’t doubt it.

Beginning to reach down, you paused halfway to silently ask for permission to touch him. He said nothing but simply grabbed your hand to place on his chest, letting you explore whatever and wherever you wanted. You traced muscles and planes of skin that would have caused Micheangelo to swoon, himself. Lower and lower you ventured, until you met the border between his pants and the rest of him. Silently and instinctively, you looked up at him and asked for permission again.

“Go on Baby Doll, take it off.”

You woke up groggy that afternoon, you turned over to see the bed, empty, though you weren’t surprised, you were however surprised to see yourself still at the apartment, usually you left immediately after the person fell asleep, but here you were bundled up under warm covers being weighed down by the doona struggling to find your way out. You walked your way around the apartment, trying to find the bathroom, when you happened upon Max, sitting in a big sofa chair out on his balcony smoking a cigarette, only in his suit pants from the night before, again this was something that surprised you, oud never thought Maxwell to be someone who waits around for his encounters to wake, you had him pegged as someone who would just leave a note and never see the person again.

“good morning angel, how did you sleep?” you hadn’t even realised he knew you were awake, he hadn’t turned to see you, you stuttered for a moment before saying, “after last night I’m surprised I even woke up before tomorrow, I’ve never been that worn out after sex.” Your voice was quiet, almost timid, you weren’t sure why, you were never intimidated by men usually. But when they make you orgasm; they have a power you’ve never encountered before.

“I’m going to be honest here darling, I’m not here for a relationship and if I was I wouldn’t have tried finding one in that bar but that pussy was magic and I’m not very willing to let it go just yet, so I have a proposition for you. You’re a beautiful young woman, I’d like to see you again, whenever I want, I'll take your number and I will call you. Do you have a job that will hinder you from coming at any time of day?” His tone made you feel like you were one of his business partners, like he was making a transaction.

“I work in marketing at Halo Corp, so I would assume that would be a hindrance”

“you work at Halo Corp? the competition to my own business? Run by Henry Giorgio? Yeah that won’t do, you work in marketing you said?” you nodded meekly as he walked towards his phone, as he dialled in a number and greeted someone called Grace. Catching the phrases “fire him,” “I don’t care” “no I have a replacement already” and then he hung up. “there you go Doll, now call Henry tell him you have a new job, you’re working for me” you were stunned, was he doing this just to have you close so that you could service him whenever? Of course, he was. You wondered how many people worked for Maxwell merely for his convenience. You assumed the “Grace” he spoke to was definitely one of his “conveniences” but he, you weren’t going to complain about the opportunity to work in the biggest company in the city.

“I’ll get on that when I get home, I don’t know the number for my boss, but thank you for the opportunity that company fucking sucks” you said with amusement in your voice, you really did hate working at Halo, there was no respect from higher ups for the people who actually ran their company.

“right well i'll let you go do that now, I have to go to lunch with an associate, did you need a ride home?” “oh no it's okay I could walk or take a cab” you say not wanting to burden him, well or let him know where you lived.

“nonsense I’m calling my driver and we’ll drop you off on the way in, you my want to get dressed though, I don’t think you’d want anyone to see you wrapped up in a sheet on the street” you looked down at yourself and agreed before heading to the bedroom to retrieve your clothes from the night before.

When Max said he would call his driver for some reason you expected a limousine to pull up, but yet here you were standing on the curb in front of a 1974 Rolls Royce silver shadow, you were in awe. You’d barely noticed that Max was pushing you slightly towards the opened door as you stood and started at the beautiful car, “come on doll, it's just a car you’ll see plenty lets go'' you blushed In slight embarrassment at how easily you he could tell you were in awe and how he could care less about the car he drove in, though you suspect had never driven it himself.

On the way to your apartment Max really only spoke on the car phone, planning something more important than you could comprehend, when he wasn’t on the phone he was asking about you, nothing interesting or caring, like your hobbies or your family, no he was asking for your full name and social security number, setting up your employee business account with Lord Industries.

Soon the car was pulling to a stop outside of your apartment building, you looked up at it from the window of the car, the building was falling apart, the walls were cracking and foundations were sinking, many of the windows had bars on them, the fire escapes that went down the side of the building were all rusted in place and no longer usable. You looked back at max who was staring out the window with a furrow in his brow, his face looked unusually stern and still, he looked down at you with concern in his eyes, “surely you don’t live here? Not while working for Halo?” he said with concern laced in his voice, you just laughed at his insinuation that working for halo would have any bearing on where you lived. “yeah this is where I live, it’s really all I can afford to be honest with you, Halo doesn’t pay that well at all, most of the money we make goes to Henry and his associates.”

“nope that’s not gonna work, come on, take me to your apartment, Darius keep the car running we're going to my apartment on west 22nd Miss Y/L/N won’t be staying here.”

“wait what do you mean I won’t be staying here?” you said in absolute confusion=on, it didn’t make sense to you why he would be making you leave. “Well it’s clearly not safe here and it wouldn’t rest well on my conscience if I left here with you staying, come on, get your essentials for the night and then I’ll have Darius come pick you up tomorrow morning to move the rest of your things, you’re not staying here.”

“No really it's too much for you to lend me one of your homes” you tried to argue.

“This is not only for your safety but for mine, if i come to you needing your services I can't be seen here nor can i risk being around anyone who lives here”

You felt slightly offended at the way he spoke about the people who lived here, you lived here, this had been your home for months but you really couldn’t argue with him, you didn’t know how, you didn’t really want to, the people who lived here were a horrible crowd and if Maxwell Lord was offering you one of his apartments to stay in then you take the offer. You grabbed your toiletries, some clothes for tomorrow and pyjamas and you back out the door before you could even check for your pack of cigarettes, Max telling you that he’ll buy you more if you left now. He was in a rush clearly.

Darius dropped max off first, with a polite nod and a ‘ill see you soon’ he left out the door of the car into the restaurant “La Chambre Du Salaud” French is always fancy. You sat silent in the backseat, not really knowing the etiquette as one of Max’s girls.

“Miss, would you like some dinner? Max is never good at feeding himself and I doubt he fed you, he doesn’t keep any food in his other apartments.” The driver, Darius, spoke up from the front seat. Now that you thought about it you were starving, absolutely fanging. “I would love that, but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.” You said quietly, you truly didn’t want to come off as a burden. “nonsense if Max is letting you stay in one of his houses, I’m sure he would be okay with you having a meal. We’ll stop wherever you like.” You agreed to dinner at McDonalds, not wanting to put Darius out, he asked you a few things about your family and what you’re doing in the big city while you ate, “well originally I’m from Pennsylvania but there’s nothing going on down there, no one can make a name of themselves there, especially not from my small town, I wanted to be someone, and when I realised that that was a pipe dream and I realised I couldn’t go back, not couldn’t really, more so wouldn’t, I’ve seen the bright lights, I want to stay in the concrete towers forever, I decided that working for a good corporation would let me stay for as long as I was working well.” It was true, mostly, you did sleep your way up at Halo, but you did work hard for some of those promotions, no one gets to the head of anything from just sucking dick.

“Mr Lord isn’t the biggest fan of that halo company you might have shown him a real good time last night, oh don’t blush miss I’m his driver I’ve seen far worse in the back of my cars.” He was right, you were redder than a rose, you could feel the heat spread across your cheeks, you weren’t sure why, you had slept with many people, and been caught with a fair few, maybe it was the fact that Darius was so distinguished, he felt trustworthy and for some reason you didn’t want him to think badly of you. “Come on Miss, we should get you back, you should sleep or at least rest. I’m sure Mr Lord did quite the number on you, I'll be back to pick you up in the morning, around 10 although you can call me earlier if you’d like.”

After getting to the apartment you noticed that Darius was right, no food, honestly it looked like no one had ever been in there before, it was so pristine it was almost like a hotel, you wondered how many women had brought here but you decided dwelling on it didn’t really mattered, you didn’t really care anyway.

You set up what little clothes you had brought in the closet, the toothbrush in the bathroom and then you found your way to bed.

@innerstrawberrypolice

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #maxwell lord #maxwell lord angst #maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord smut #ww1984

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peachyaone · 3 years

Text

Lonely Heart pt.4

Warning: Mentions of alcohol.

Iris arrived at the airport along with Ashley. Iris rubbed her eyes and stretched. She lets out a groan, sleeping on an airplane seat wasn’t exactly comfortable. Iris's bandmates, Helena, Maia and Julia was making small talks with each other so they can keep up with what's going on. As they waited for their luggage, Iris went to checked on her phone.

10 texts messages from Lemon Boy 2 missed calls from Boatboi and Mikey 1 voicemails from Si<3 20 texts messages from Lukey<3

She listened to Sierra’s voicemail.

"Hey, angel." Sierra said on the voice mail. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now after what happened, and I just want to say that we're both sorry." Sierra said. "I'm sorry I didn't take your side, sorry that I didn't understand from your point of view. I'm sorry for giving up so easily, but I understand if you don't forgive me but at least forgive Luke." she took in a breath. " He’s been beating himself up. And he barely slept. We went to Ashton's and he explained everything to us. We were so foolish for not give you a chance to explain. We're sorry."

Julia, who’s the bassist of her band, turned around to see Iris with tears in her eyes. "Hey, Iris?" she called out. Iris's head shot up, she cleared her throat and wiped away her tears. "Yeah?" she said. " We got your luggage, ready to leave?" Julia said. Iris nodded. "Wanna borrow my sunglasses? It can help cover up... only if you want to." she offered. "Thank you." she said quietly. Iris took the sunglasses. "No problem, bub." Julia beamed, patted Iris in the head. "Now come on, let’s head to the hotel, but let's go greet some fans, first." Helena said. Well, when Helena said "some fans" she meant crowds of people waiting to meet them.

"OH MY GOD! THEY'RE HERE!" "Hey Iris, can I get a picture?' "I LOVE YOU, IRIS" "WE LOVE YOU"

Iris smiled and took a few pictures with them. "uh..I-Iris?" She heard a small voice muttered out. She turned to see a girl with brown skin and long black hair."Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked. "I-I made you something!" she said as she handed her a bag. Iris took the bag, in it was a painting of Luke, Sierra and her, and other stuff. Her heart ached. She forced a smile, "Oh my god, did you paint this? It's so beautiful!" The girl blushed profusely and nodded. Iris hugged the girl. "Thank you, sweetie. What's your name?" The girl smiled. "Nia, it's Nia." she said. "Well, Nia, thank you again for this beautiful painting! Are you coming to the shows?" Iris asked. "Y-Yeah I'm going to the one tomorrow." Iris hugged her again. "Can't wait to see you tomorrow then!" She smiled and waved goodbye. Helena, after overheard her conversation with Julia earlier, stayed awhile to wait for Iris. “You okay, shortcake?” she asked. Usually, Iris would protest when Helena called her “shortcake”. But she didn’t this time.

*timeskip*

As they reached the hotel, it was midnight. They got their keycard, and told each other goodnight. She unpacked her stuff, placed her guitar and her gift beside the vanity. She took a warm shower, the water cascading down her back, relieving her tense muscles. She dried off and changed into her boy-boxers and oversized hoodie she stole from Luke. She forgotten that she put that in. The smell of cashmere and him filled her senses and she felt her mood dampened.

She unlocked her phone and opened Instagram. She saw that Luke had posted. The caption said:

For Buttercup xoxo.

He was holding his guitar, as he played a rhythm the she recognized, but she couldn’t remember the lyrics. She had heard them boys talking about this before, but never sung it. He looked so tired, she could see the circles underneath his eyes.

Your type of mind, so hard to find, Native of mine, you're just my kind, Down on my knees, I’ll always follow, I promise you until the end of time.

Her heart yearned to hold the man in her arms and forgive him for every wrong he had committed over the past few days. She knew he was hurting. She had avoided his messages because she was too blinded by her own betrayal and sadness to truly realize what her absence had done to the man.

Such a lonely heart, oh woah Such a lonely heart, oh woah If you can't find another reason to stay Then I know I'm gonna always have a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely Heart, oh woah Heart

He looked physically in pain, yet his emotions was conveyed by the lyrics of the song. Tears fell from her own eyes as she witnessed the man she loved experience such heartache.

Your precious heart, can't watch it break So I close my eyes while you walk away Can I have a second chance? Can I have another dance? Can I start another life, with you? When I wake up in a haze, and I haven't slept in days You're a thousand miles away-

But then she remembered he had hurt her so deeply. But also, she could feel his apology through the verse itself. She knew he wasn't great with words so he'll depend on songs to express what he felt. It was too much. Iris looked away, the sharp pain in her heart gave a shock, her hand reaching up to grasp over her heart. She feels lightheaded. Her chest ached, a heaviness was pressing on her chest. Iris shaked her head, slowly reaching for keycard on her nightstand. Staggering, she stood and made her way to Helena's room. A sob escapes her, her weak attempts of keeping it in failed. "Helena-" she called out. "please...open the door." She curl herself into a ball, tears slipping down her face. She felt the door open. "Iris!" Helena exclaimed.

She open her eyes as Helena's arm wrapped around her, her hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Maia heard the commotion outside and rushed outside. “What’s wrong?” She asked. She looked at the pair on the floor. “Hey Iris.” She cooed. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you, okay?” she said. “Iris. Iris, grab my hand.” She look at Helena, confused. "Just do it." She moved her gaze from her hands to Helena's, slowly taking it and holding it in her palm. “Squeeze.” She told her, Iris's eyes drifting up to meet hers. She smiled reassuringly. “Go on. Squeeze as hard as you can.” Iris's tightened her hands around Helena's palm, her eyes still on her face. "Keep going.” She nodded.

“Now match my breathing. In, out. In, out.” Maia whispered, her hand still rubbing circles on Iris’s back. Iris tried to concentrate on the way Maia’s chest, moving up and down, attempting to copy with her own breathing. There’s an overwhelming scent of Luke lingering on every breath she take. “Hey, hey, hey. Focus on me, Iris.” Helena said, snapping Iris out her thoughts, “That’s it. Well done sweetheart, you can do it.” Maia reasurred. They stayed like that for a while; Helena whispering reassurance, Iris’s matching Maia’s breathing. Finally, after what felt like forever, She stopped shaking and her heart rate slowed back down.

"You okay, now? Do you need anything? I could get you water, snacks, anything..?" Maia asked. "Just stay with me, please." She clinged to them ."Alright." She said. "Would you like to tell us what happened?" Helena asked. Iris told them about Luke and about Sierra's voicemail. "He looked so sad, did I mess everything up?" She whispered. "No, Iris. He snapped at you. He should've listened to your reasons before jumping into conclusions like that." Maia reassured. “Look, I want you to stay with me for a little bit, okay?” Iris began shaking her head, ready to pull out of her grasp. “Oh, ‘Lena, no, it’s okay, I ca—” “Iris, please,” Helena begged. “Just for tonight, yeah? You’re not in a right headspace for you to be alone right now.” Iris nibbled on her lip, sniffling and conflicted as she timidly asked, “Are you sure?” Helena nodded firmly. "Alright then." Iris whispered.

"Can you walk?" Maia asked. "I-I think s-so" She said, attempting to stand. The pair supported her back so she could stand. And helped Iris to back to Helena’s bed. "Sit tight, I'll grab some stuff from your room, okay?" Maia asked her. "Okay." Iris mumbled. "Just rest, do you want to postpone the concert tomorrow?" Helena softly asked. Iris rapidly shook her head. "No, no, no. I'll be fine, don't worry. i can do it." she rambled. "Alright, now go get proper sleep." Helena said.

*The next day*

Ashley went to check her phone. There was a text from Ashton.

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Hey Ashley

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Hey Ashton, what's up?

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Nothing much

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I only wanted to know how is Iris, she doing okay?

Ashley looked at the woman on the bed, She went to check on her in the morning, to find she’s in Helena’s room. Iris was curled up in the covers, her eyes slightly puffy and her cheeks are flushed. But other than that, she sleeping so soundly.

[7:12 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : She's okay. Helena told me had a breakdown last night but she okay now. She still sleeping though. She said she had pains in her chest, I’m worried.

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Oh god, I knew that something was wrong. Is there something I can do to help?

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Please tell me, I want to help.

[7:15 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I don’t know about that, Ashton. And you're in LA and we're halfway around the world. We went to check up on her, she was burning up.

[7:18 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: i think she's getting sick.

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: But I can fly out there, I can go see her

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I want to see Iris better, she’s like family to me.

Iris stirred, little whimpers could be heard from her. “No……please” she whimpered. Helena shushed her back to sleep. Ashley lightly felt Iris’s forehead for any signs of fever, and she was unusually warm.

[7:21 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : Ashton, your band needs you more, you're working on your album. what would your management say, when they finds out that you’re flying out, just for her.

[7:23 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I can take care of her, Ashton. Trust me.

[7:24 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: The album can wait, we have a lot of time, and the boys, I’m sure that would understand. Fuck the management! I don’t give a damn. I want to know if she’s okay, I need to see her if she’s physically and mentally okay.

[7:27 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Fine, but wait, if she gets worse, you can come and also, don't come to me if Iris starts throwing hands. You know how she is, chaotic yet so kept-together.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I don’t mind if she tries to throw hands, you have no idea how many times she did. But I be glad to see her okay.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: alright then. Look i have to go, duty calls y'know. See you later, Ashton. I’ll update you if anything happens.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos : Alright! Thank you, Ashley.

[7:33 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: No problem.

Ashley placed down her phone, sighing. Iris stirred awake. “ Iris, you’re awake. You feeling better?” Helena said softly, stroking Iris's bed hair so it'll look a little bit neat. They heard a muffled "yes" from her. “Come on, now, we have an live session to go to” Ashley said. “Oh yeah.” she got up, stretched for a bit and yawned. “Go get ready, We’re leaving in few hours.” Ashley reminded. “Okay, see you then.” Then Iris went back to her room.

Her phone was still on the bed. She switched it on. What greeted her was hundreds of notifications from Twitter and Instagram. Fans tagged her in a news post.

“TROUBLE IN PARADISE? POLY TRIAD, LUKE HEMMINGS, IRIS ADLER AND SIERRA DEATON, DID THEY BROKE IT OFF? OR SOMETHING REALLY DIFFERENT?”

“Days after the pictures of the lead vocalist of The Temptresses, Iris Josephine Alder, who was assumed to be cheating on her partners, Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer and Sierra Deaton, former singer from Alex & Sierra.”

“The lead vocalist of 5SOS posted a 2 minute clip of a new song for their upcoming album, CALM. Following it, was a caption that said, “For Buttercup xoxo.” Is the mysterious “Buttercup” , Iris herself? The rockstar was seen with singer, Halsey at the Heathrow Airport in London the day before for Halsey’s Manic world tour with Iris as the opener.”

Iris scrolled through the news, until one specific line she read struck her hard.

“The couple was seen walking out of Starbuck at Midtown, LA. They looked pretty happy, maybe they would much be better off without Iris-“

Better off without Iris.

Better off without her.

Iris threw her phone at the mattress, rushed to her bag and pulled a flask. She knew it was bad, and Ashton would give her a lecture about it. But she couldn’t resist. She drank. When she emptied the flask, she was buzzed. It wasn’t enough but it numbed her for a bit. She prepared herself, slick backed her mullet, put on light makeup and wore presentable clothes. She chewed on some mints, just to make sure. She was ready.

here's the outfit:

It slightly covered her neck tattoo, a reminder of them. She wanted to cover up or hide anything that reminded her of them. She couldn't handle the sight. She reminisced the passionate nights they had. The quiet mornings they shared, Iris loved those moments, when she was with them, everything felt right.

*Flashback*

It was December. Snow slowly fall from the sky, Sierra knows just how much Iris adores the snow. They both do. Luke enjoys the way he see the pure amazement light up in her eyes. They stared at her as Iris looked out into the world outside. It like giving a child the gift they always wanted on their birthday. Sierra was the first one to break, she slipped on Iris’s oversized cardigan. Her steps are quiet as she crosses the room to sit beside Iris. “Hey angel” she cooed, her palm caressed her face. Iris’s fluttered shut, her lips curled into soft smile. “Mornin’ Si “ she mumbled, face instinctively nuzzled into her palm.

Luke decides to join them, he put on his sweatpants, and stood behind Iris but his arms snaking around her waist , she shuddered at the coldness of his fingertips. “ You’re freezing, Lu.” She said. “Couldn’t help it, lovey. M’two girls left me to fend the coldness all by m’self” He said as he pouted. “Sorry, Lu” Iris said. She reached out to brush a stray curl behind his ear. “M’can properly see your pretty eyes now, Lu. It’s so blue, like the sea, very pretty.” She rambled. She turned to Sierra, “Your’s pretty too. It reminds me of nature. I wanna paint both of your eyes, but it wouldn’t be the same.” She rambled again. “And why’s that, angel?” Sierra asked, stroking her cheek with thumb. “I couldn’t get the colors just right. Yours, It’s like different shades of browns and blacks. And Luke’s different shades of blue.” She said. “I don’t have the talent to do it either. My skills….they’re mediocre.” She said, her concentration on the subject faltered. Her eyes was glued to the window, watching the snowflakes falling, some sticking to the glass and others falling to cover the ground below.

“Angel?” “Hm?” Her eyes still glued to the snow covered scenery outside. “Look at us, honey.” Luke he asked quietly. Iris looked at them. “Your art skills are extraordinary, don’t ever let yourself down like that.” Luke said. “That’s right, Lu” Sierra agreed. Iris sheepishly looked away. “Hey, don’t look away..” Sierra cooed. She hooked her finger under Iris’s chin and lifted it up . They both gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Wanna go outside and play with the snow?” Luke said. “Mhm, maybe later. It’s too early in the morning. Wanna spend this moment with m’favorite people.” She whispered. That morning was quiet and peaceful. She would give everything she had to experience it aga-

“Iris.”

*Flashback ends*

“Iris.”

Iris snapped awake from her daydream from the knocking outside her door. "Coming!" She said. Ashley, Helena, Julia and Maia was outside. "We've been calling you for minutes now, you okay?" Ashley asked concernedly. “We almost had to restrain Julia for breaking down the door.” Maia joked. "Just got lost in thought, that's all. Look I'm ready, I just have to grab my bag and guitar, then we'll be off." She rushed into room, shoved her phone into her bag and slunged her guitar over her shoulder.

"Let's go."

#5sos #lierra x oc #poly!lierra #poly!5sos #poly!sos #luke hemmings #sierra deaton #luke hemmings x oc #sierra deaton x oc #MY OCs #lonely heart

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 25

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: honestly i know this is a boring chapter and im sorry about it.

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : none for this chapter im sorry! i sorta needed her to come back first and... yea. keep sending them tho!

Chapter 25 : His chapter

NIALL

She didn't answer anything. I waited for hours and she didn't dare even answer anything about the video I sent her. I wish she would have at least acknowledged it. I would have been fine with a heart emoji even if I would have preferred a comment about how much she loved and missed me. But she sent nothing and it was worse than anything she could have answered.

I kept thinking about her and Dylan and it was driving me insane. In fact, I couldn't stop thinking about her on top of him, riding him and moaning his name. It was obsessing me to the point where I just wanted to take a plane to her and bring her back home with me.

I tried calling her in the afternoon but she didn't answer and although I was trying to convince myself that she was probably sleeping, I knew that it was not late enough for her to be asleep, even with the jetlag.

I waited almost 24 hours to hear from her and when my phone rang, I realized someone was trying to facetime me. I saw her face on the screen and my heart jumped so high in my chest I thought I was about to vomit it. I almost dropped my phone on my face and stopped moving before breathing in and out for a few seconds. I finally answered and my lips curled when I saw her face. Her hair was a mess, she had dark circles under her eyes and she looked exhausted.

"Hey darling, what time is it in Italy?"

She raised her nose up and groaned low. "Fuck, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry." she apologized with a grimace. "It's four in the morning here."

"No, it's okay, it's 7 pm here." I tried to reassure her and chuckled. "Actually, I didn't sleep much last night."

She frowned and tilted her head but I hesitated to tell her how I felt. I let my eyes roam on her face for a few seconds and finally sighed. I had been worried about her and clearly, I had the right to. Of course, there was more than that. I had also been scared of what she was doing, and perhaps a bit jealous, but I didn't have to mention that.

"You're already in bed?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yea, I tried to read a bit, and watch tv, but I ended up just writing a few song lyrics." I explained with a shrug.

"Are you alright?"

"Liv, you haven't given me any news since you left. I messaged you, and I tried calling, but you didn't answer." I pointed out a bit louder. "Look, I was worried, okay."

Her traits softened and she looked at me with a guilty expression.

"I'm so sorry, Niall, you're right. I've been super busy. The auditions ended late, and we have more tomorrow and an interview. After the auditions we had a meeting that lasted like 3 hours. I'm super tired. You're right though, I should have taken a few minutes to call or at least message you. Please, forgive me."

I licked my lips and sighed low. "You're okay, that's all that matters. Did you get my video?"

This time, her face completely changed and the smile she sent me was so loving, fond and soft that I couldn't help but smile too. She pressed her lips together and all I could think about was kissing her.

"I did. I had just landed and I was at the airport still." she admitted in a low voice. "I was crying and a guard came to check on me."

She let out a short embarrassed chuckle and I smiled more, raising my eyebrows. "You cried?"

Her face became more serious but her gaze was still soft. "Yes. I love you, Niall. I love you so much. I almost took a plane back to you after seeing that. I just..." she shook her head and glanced away before looking back at me. "I wish I could have stayed with you. I wish I could be with you right now."

"Me too." I replied with a smile as she leaned against the headboard of the bed, making me frown. "Hey, where are you right now?"

She looked around herself for a few seconds and looked back in my eyes again.

"Hotel room." she shrugged, making me frown more.

"I thought you'd be at your boyfriend's apartment." I admitted blatantly, making her face change suddenly. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm good, don't worry. He's still filming and this hotel is closer to where I have to be tomorrow." she grimaced but I could feel something was wrong. "I have to be up in six hours. I'm even lucky they let me wake up so late."

I pushed away all the thoughts and questions in my head to focus on her and the time we had together instead. Of course, I was curious, but at the same time, I was not sure I wanted to know. Her marriage and her boyfriend were touchy subjects, for me but also for her, I could feel it every time one of us would mention something, and I was not in the mood to talk about that. If she wanted to discuss anything with me, though, I knew she would.

"I don't really want to hang up." I admitted with a small smile. "When are you coming back home?"

"I tried to get a flight for tomorrow night, but I got one in the middle of the night." she explained, surprising me but making her smile grow. "I just can't wait."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering why she was coming back so fast instead to spend time with Dylan, but I decided not to ask. It was stupid, but I didn't want to give her the idea to stay longer, and I also didn't want her to think I didn't care that she'd spend time with him. If I wanted to be honest, I also really wanted her to come back so I just smiled more.

"I think you should drop by my place, first."

She laughed this time, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the headboard as her nose raised up. It made me chuckle to see her laugh so honestly and when her eyes fluttered open, she was smirking.

"And why exactly?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "You could get naked and join me in bed. What time are you supposed to land?"

"Five in the morning." she explained with a sigh.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" I proposed, moving on my bed to lean on my pillows better.

"Naa, you don't want an other article about us, do you?" she pointed out, raising her nose up again. "I'll take a cab and give your address."

I wanted to tell her that articles about us didn't bother me and somehow, at that exact moment, it wouldn't have been a lie, but in general, yea, I hated paps and how they'd always write bullshit just to sell and get clicks.

"And then?"

"And then get naked and join you in bed." she replied with a smirk, using my own words. "You know, just thinking about it makes me horny." she added in a low tone. "And you being almost naked right now doesn't help."

I boomed out with laughter and a smirk appeared on my lips. It felt so natural to have that kind of discussion with her even if we had been separated for so long. I watched as her eyes dropped to my chest and shook my head.

"You're literally eyeing me right now, and you're not even trying to hide it." I pointed out, trying to keep my laughter in. "And you're wearing too much clothes for me to do the same."

"Mm, well, it's not my fault you're not wearing a shirt." she pointed out, not even looking in my eyes. "If you could just... move your phone a bit."

"Such a horny girl."

It made me think of that time when we were dating and I was gone in Asia with my cousins. It was the first and only time we had facetime sex and just thinking about it made my heart jump in my chest. I wanted to do it again, tell her what to do and when to do it, watch her touch herself and cum while she moaned my name.. but I knew she was tired and I didn't want to insist too much.

"Do you remember when-"

"Oh yea, oh yea I remember." she cut me, making me raise my eyebrows. "When you ran out of that bar and got back to that tiny disgusting and dark room just so we could masturbate together on the phone. I fucking remember, Niall. You made me start touching myself in the car."

"If I was there right now, I'd touch you and do all the job. You'd have nothing to do. I'd just make you cum and then you could fall asleep."

"Mm, I wish you would be here right now, then." she admitted with a yawn, squirming to lay down in bed as I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Especially that you promised me your tongue and lips between my legs. Do you know how many times I thought about it? Mm, no one tongue fucks me like you."

I laughed again. "Oh god, you've got such a filthy mouth."

"Me? More like you." she laughed too, closing her eyes. "You're gonna eat me out good next time we see each other, yea?"

"I fucking promise." I guaranteed, bringing my hand to my cock and brushing it over my boxers. "I'll make you scream."

I watched her almost fall asleep and smiled a bit but after a few seconds, I felt the words escape my lips.

"Before we hang up, petal, can you show me your tits?"

Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a short but silent laugh. "You just can't help yourself, can you?" she shook her head. "I sent you a picture of my boobs already, don't you have it anymore?"

"Of course I do! It's my phone's background!" I joked, watching her face change into terror and making me laugh. "Babe relax, I'm joking! It's just even better when it's live."

"I'm ready to give you five seconds of seeing my boobs but in exchange, I want you to stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep."

My traits softened and I sent her a small smile. I would have agreed with that against nothing at all, just because I loved the fact that she felt safe with me, and because I missed her.

"Mm, okay, five seconds of seeing them, and five more while you touch them."

She chuckled and shook her head before putting her phone away. All I could see was the ceiling for a few seconds but when she put her phone back, she had taken her shirt off and was now laying under the sheets. My eyes quickly found her breasts and my lips curled slightly.

"Is it cold there?" I asked, amused.

"It is, you little fucker."

I laughed again and she finally moved her phone up, making me groan. "You promised me five more of touching them."

"I'm touching them."

"But I can't see!" I argued, making her laugh.

"You didn't specify that."

I groaned and grimaced before using puppy eyes while staring at her. Her eyes were half-closed and I knew she was going to fall asleep soon. She chuckled and rolled her eyes and I was glad I didn't even have to beg her. She moved her phone farther and I saw her fingers rub gently against her nipples. I was about to ask her to grab her tits harder but she just did it and I let out a short curse word as I gripped the sheets of my bed.

"Fuck you make me so hard." I whispered right before she started giggling like a school girl.

"I remember before we dated, you said you were too old to get hard just by the sight of boobs." she told me. "I guess that's not true anymore, if it ever was."

"Darling, it's not just boobs. It's you, touching and grabbing your boobs, and making all these sexy little sounds, I bet you don't even realize it. Fuck yea, you make me hard. I want to tap my cock on them until it's hard enough to wreck you."

She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and whimpered low before grabbing the blankets of the bed and pulling them over her shoulders. She turned around and leaned the phone on a pillow while grabbing the other one and cuddling it.

"Mm, well, maybe you can do that when I get back." she proposed in a mumble. "You can even do that while I'm sleeping if it turns you on."

“I’ll remember that.” I chuckled and watched her lips part slightly and her eyes close. She looked peaceful but I knew that in less than a minute, she was going to be snoring. "Hey, petal." I whispered.

"Mm?"

"I'm in love with you." I added, seeing the left corner of her lips move up slightly. "Goodnight, darling."

---

I woke up horribly early just to be sure I wouldn't miss her interview. She had sent me a link and I just stayed in bed, still half-sleep, thinking that I'd just get a few more hours of sleep when it would be over but when I saw her appear on the screen with a big smile, I felt suddenly completely awake.

I had stayed about fifteen minutes just looking at her the night before while she was sleeping and just like I thought, she had been snoring, her face all pressed on the pillow and even if it had made me smile, it was crazy how endeared I had been. If I was not sure she was the only girl I would ever want to spend my life with already, after that it was impossible to have any doubt left. Of course, I didn't need anything to convince me that we were meant to be, but these simple reminders of how much I loved her and everything she did were good and comforting.

She started answering questions about why she was in Italy, and how the auditions were going, and I couldn't help but think it felt weird to watch my best friend being interviewed on a tv show. It made me realize that it was probably how she felt the first few times she saw me on tv and it felt weird to have the roles reversed for once.

"Did you have time to visit? Or do you plan on doing it later?"

She smiled and it made me smile too. "I didn't really have time and I have a flight back home tonight, so I probably won't have time but it's so beautiful here, at least from what I was able to see from my hotel room windows or from the short drives around." she chuckled. "I will definitely come back to visit. With someone, perhaps."

I grabbed my phone and quickly sent her a text message.

'I'll bring you to Italy to visit. I'll bring you anywhere you want to go.'

I put my phone away and looked as she reached for her pocket and it made me hold my breath. She was not supposed to bring her phone but she had and even worse, it seemed like it was on vibe. I let out a chuckle and shook my head. She was never really the type to follow the rules anyway.

"A few weeks ago there were pictures of Niall Horan and you coming out of a movie theater together and all the rumors about you two dating again appeared online." the man whom's name I forgot asked as Olivia nodded. "Neither of you denied or attested the rumors but you two are talking again which is a big deal. You hadn't been seen together since your break up back in november 2016."

"Uhm, yea well, we both moved to California and we met randomly and... you know, when someone has been your best friend for two decades, it's hard to just.. couper les ponts you know, cut the ties?" she let out, raising her eyebrows. "Niall was part of my every day life, I even went on the last One Direction tour with him, so to cut him from my life du jour au lendemain... it was not easy. It was sudden, and it was tough. For both of us. So yea, we talk again."

"I noticed that you add a lot of french words and expressions when you talk and I know you're from France but you've lived in Ireland most of your life so you know all of this in english."

"Mm, yea but french comes to me very easily. I talk to my parents a lot, especially recently, so I guess I'm just mixing both languages." she admitted with a laugh. "I'm sorry, I know it's bit annoying."

"Endearing." I corrected her in a whisper even if she couldn't hear me.

"No no, not at all." the interviewer argued. "How many seasons did you plan for this show?"

She answered the questions like a champ but I was surprised that there had been no question about her wedding or her boyfriend. They normally like to get into things like that and I thought that maybe she had specified that she didn't want questions about that. However, I would think if that was the case, she would have also told them not to ask her about me and yet, they did, and she didn't seem pissed.

I didn't mind that they asked about me much and her answer was great. I had never stopped myself from mentioning my friends in interviews when people asked, I just didn't like talking about who I was dating or who my songs were about specifically. After all, when people ask questions about that, they just want to know who you're shagging, and my sex life, along with my romantic one, was no one's business.

The tv show lasted about ten more minutes and a few minutes after it ended, I heard my phone and grabbed it, smiling again when I realized that the first thing she did was answer my text.

'The truth is, Niall, that I'll follow you anywhere you want to go. Whether it's Italy, space, or that big ass couch of yours. Lead me. I'm right behind.'

---

We spend the afternoon texting each other back and forth and I knew she would be in deep shit if anyone realized she was distracted. It was still an audition afternoon and evening for her and she had mentioned that she wouldn't be able to sleep before getting on the plane, which would mean she would most likely be exhausted when she'd get back. Sleeping on a plane was never nice or reviving, and I knew what I was talking about.

As I was waiting for her answer, I started checking online to see if there were comments about her interview or if there were new pictures of her that had appeared online. The first article that popped, however, was about her boyfriend, and I almost skipped it until I read the title. I scrolled back up and clicked on it only to see a picture of Dylan appear. He was with some girl I didn't know and they were dangerously close to each other. Of course, it was just a picture, and it wouldn't be the first time paps would fool us into believing crap. Sometimes, just the angle of the picture could make you believe things and I was hoping this picture was no exception. I stared at it for a few seconds before reading parts of the articles and grimacing. I couldn't just send that to Olivia and ruin her trip and I just decided to ignore it. Perhaps I could tell her later, when she'd be back, but I still was not sure.

I jumped when I got her reply but smiled quickly when I realized it was a selfie. She had her tongue out, her nose up in a grimace, and was literally doing the 'rock and roll' sign with her fingers. The caption said 'I'm coming home babey!' and I started laughing. I put my phone away and took a selfie as I was laying on the couch and just wrote 'I'm waiting for you' before quickly sending her.

She arrived in the middle of the night. At first, I was not sure what had woken me up and I just groaned and squirmed in bed, grabbing a pillow and pulling it close to me, my arms tight around it, but I heard an other thud and forced myself to open my eyes. It only took half a minute to see a shadow walk in my room and I stared at her as I saw her take her shirt and pants off quickly. I moved in bed to give her space and let out a short groan.

"I missed you, pet."

She moved closer and pressed her cold body against mine, my lips curling more when I realized she was completely naked and I suddenly regretted keeping my boxers on.

"How was your flight?"

"Mm, long and loveless." she complained, making me chuckle low.

I brought my lips to hers and kissed her gently before brushing them down her neck as my arm wrapped around her and pulled her closer.

"I'll give you love, angel." I whispered, running my hand on her back, feeling her soft but cold skin.

"What kind?" she just asked with a chuckle.

"Cuddles and caresses for now." I replied in a murmur. "Sweet sex in the morning."

"You know exactly what I want, at all times, don't you?" she replied just as low, making me smile as I kept my eyes closed.

She smelled good despite spending 13 hours on a plane and I wondered how it was even possible. I wanted to ask her if she had stopped at her place first or if she at least had spent some time in the bathroom to clean but I was too tired and I just kissed her shoulder before laying my head on the pillow again.

"Don't leave again, okay?." I muttered randomly. "Losing you is not an option."

She wasn't answering and with all the strength I still had, I once again forced my eyes open only to meet hers. She was sending me a small smile, her eyes also half-opened, and I smiled back slightly at her with a soft gaze.

"I'm definitely adding that to a song." I pointed out before she could answer, making her laugh.

"I'm not leaving, Niall." she just let out after a few minutes of silence. "I missed you too."

I tried to squeeze her in my arms but failed miserably. I was too tired to be strong but she seemed to appreciate the gesture. She chuckled and kissed my chin, sliding one of her legs between mine. My mind was too numb to think but I breathed in only to smell her again. My whole body was exhausted but I tried to fight slumber just to appreciate having her in my arms again, as if she had been gone for months and not just for literally two days. A bunch of things we had talked about came back to my mind and I just couldn't wait to have an other talk with her.

"You're not right behind me, Olivia." I mumbled with difficulty.

"Mm?"

"Earlier, in a text message, you said you'd follow me anywhere, that you were right behind me." I explained until I felt her fingertips brush along my spine. "You're not behind, you're right next to me. I'm holding your hand. I'm not going to lead you. We'll walk together, make decisions together, we'll take every step together, Olivia. Neither of us is leading or following. We're together."

"The dream team." she whispered before biting her bottom lip.

"The dream team. The only team that matters. You and me. Against the world." I pointed out with a smile before she repeated my words like an echo.

"You and me."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfics #yam #i know this chapter sucks im sorry

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eilonwiiy · 4 years

Text

Bookends ; A Witchlands AU

Chapter 9

An innocent trip to the library takes an unexpected turn.

Summary: Iseult det Midenzi never expected to go to a top university, so when her mother falls ill and she is forced to drop out to make ends meet, life has never seemed so unfair. But when she starts working at the local library and is unexpectedly assigned in the Children’s Room, a certain monosyllabic man and his thrice-damned demon child start showing up and Iseult begins to wonder if the threads of fate have a plan for her after all.

Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Ships: Iseult/Aeduan, Safi/Merik, and more… stay tuned!

Tags: modern AU, college setting, family, friendship, humor, fluff, slow-burn, romance, eventual smut

Read on AO3: here

Tag list: (please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @lseultdetmidenzi @twilightlegacy13

* . * . * . * .

When Iseult woke up the next morning, she thought maybe she had dreamed the previous night. But no. Aeduan had texted her. Twice. First, with an all too unsatisfying Ok while she was still at work. Then, again a whole hour later as she was getting ready for bed telling her that he’d be coming to the library tomorrow. Which was now today. The gap between texts - the “lost hour” as Iseult was now referring to it - was doing an exemplary job of keeping her busy. She thought about it all through her shower. While brushing her teeth. There was a brief pause while she picked out an outfit (sweater, suede skirt, ballet flats), but then it was right back to obsessing over those missing 60 minutes.

What had happened to cause Aeduan to go from monosyllabic man to someone with a firm grasp of the English language? Had it been a full moon?

The ruckus of the usual morning hustle and bustle could be heard from Jitters as Iseult descended the stairs, coat already on and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. When she brushed through the divider curtain, the sight that met her brought her to a full stop.

“Wow. Someone woke up in project mode,” she said, taking in Safi - awake and fully dressed on her morning off - and the stacks of books and magazines spread across multiple tables pushed together.

“Yes,” Safi agreed, looking proud. “I thought I’d finally try turning that weird corner no one likes to sit in into that book nook we’ve always talked about.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Iseult stared at Safi, expression flat.

“Safi?”

“Hm?” she replied, flipping breezily through a page in her magazine.

“What are you doing?”

Safi didn’t look up. “I told you. I’m making the book nook.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time. But see, it’s 8:30 in the morning.”

“And?”

“And,” Iseult continued, slowly approaching her mini fortress of books, “there’s a perfectly useful bed upstairs wondering where you are.”

“Well, tell it it might get lucky and see me tonight.”

“Safi,” Iseult said bluntly.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing? And if you say ‘book nook’ one more time I’ll kill you.”

Safi said nothing.

“Spill,” Iseult ordered.

Safi sighed and made a face. “Is it so hard to believe that I actually wanted to do a good thing and get moving on this project that you’ve been talking my ear off about for months?”

“It is when it’s 8:30 on your morning off.” Iseult eyed the nearly full mug of coffee on the table. “Is that your first cup of coffee?”

“Maybe.” Safi’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why?”

“Nothing. Just a concerned citizen, that’s all.” Iseult pulled up a chair and lowered herself onto the seat, clapping her hands on her knees. “Look, as tempting as the prospect of playing 20 Questions with you this early in the morning without caffeine in my system is, can we maybe skip to the end of this conversation where you tell me the truth about why you’re really up so I’m not late for work?”

Safi pursed her lips like she didn’t want to talk. Then, she grabbed a massive tome off the top of one of the piles and held it up in the air.

“I tripped over this.”

“Ok…” Iseult said slowly, eyeing the book. “Are you okay?”

“Physically, yes. Spiritually? That remains to be seen.”

Iseult sighed. “Safi, did you miss the part where I said I don’t want to be late for work?”

Safi let the book drop from her hand with an obnoxious thud that shook the table.

“As you know, I worked until close at The Cleaved Man last night. When I got home at 1 o’clock, per usual, I tripped and fell over this,” she said, giving the offending book a scathing look.

The smallest of frowns formed on Iseult’s otherwise smooth face. “How is that even possible? That’s my freshmen geology textbook. I’m not exactly reading up on pyrite in my spare time.”

“Oh, well, I knocked into the bookshelf while I was fumbling through the dark trying to find the light switch.”

“So really you tripped over the bookshelf.”

Safi gawped at Iseult. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

“I would if I knew what the heck this has to do with you waking up and deciding today’s the day you’re going to be a carpenter!”

“That apartment is too small!” Safi burst, gesticulating wildly to the ceiling above.

“Safi,” shushed Iseult, glancing around at the early bird customers who were now looking curiously at them.

“No! That place is too small and I’m so tired of barely having enough room to breathe let alone walk through the door without having to map out some sort of detour route to avoid collision!” She shook her head. “The books had to go!”

Iseult grabbed for Safi’s hand before she could point a rude gesture at the ceiling and covered it with her own. “Look I know we got our hopes up for the apartment,” Iseult said, careful to leave out Chiseled Cheater’s name or supervillain moniker, “but you need to let this go.”

“I don’t want to,” pouted Safi, pronouncing each word defiantly.

“I know. But you’re driving yourself crazy and me by extension.” She paused. “Our shoebox does have its perks.”

“Like?” The word dripped with incredulity.

“Like,” Iseult ventured, “we don’t have to walk far to get to work. We can even open the bakery in our pajamas.”

Safi’s face remained unchanging. Iseult went on.

“We don’t have to deal with some seedy landlord.”

Nothing.

“Late snacks are a flight of stairs away.”

Still nothing.

“And there’s always an endless supply of free coffee on hand.”

“Except for that time we forgot to place the order and we went a whole three days having to tell customers we didn’t have coffee,” Safi pointed out.

Iseult shuddered from the memory. “I thought Mathew and Habim were going to kick us out.”

“Maybe they’d have done us a favor if they had,” Safi muttered.

Iseult made a face at her and, for a moment, they held each other’s gaze. Then, finally, she folded.

“I’m sorry,” Safi moaned, flopping back in her chair and looking at the stacks of books dejectedly. “It just kills me that he’s living in our dream apartment while we’re stuck smelling like coffee for the rest of our lives.”

“It won’t be for the rest of our lives. And besides,” Iseult added as an afterthought, “think of how much money we save living here. I doubt I would have been able to afford that place now anyway.”

From the way Safi immediately sobered, Iseult knew she had driven the point home. After all, it wasn’t Safi who couldn’t afford to live wherever she wanted. She could leave their shoebox apartment anytime she wanted. But she stayed for Iseult.

Iseult fiddled with her hands and dropped her gaze, not wanting to look at the somber expression on Safi’s face. She almost looked ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” Safi apologized again. She waved to the piles of books. “Obviously, I lost my mind.”

“Does this mean you’re not going to build the book nook?”

Safi’s expression stiffened and Iseult saw a flicker of hesitation in her eyes.

“No, I’m going to do it,” she eventually said, sounding resigned to the prospect, but determined. “You’ve been bugging me about it long enough.”

“You said you liked the idea!”

“Yeah, but that was before I ordered those damned bookshelves,” argued Safi, nodding to the back office. “Honestly, those assembly instructions are in a different language. How can they expect the average person to put them together without a contractor?”

“Or an interpreter.”

“Exactly. It’s all a bunch of gibberish made to con you into hiring a professional to assemble it for you. It’s a money making scam.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Safi stewing. Iseult side-eyed Safi. She didn’t want to break the happy truce they had just struck, but...

“You know who would be great at putting together those shelves?” she asked. “The C-word.”

Safi gave a most unlady-like snort of disbelief. “Cam can barely hold an entire tray of cookies without toppling over let alone a plank of wood.”

“I’m not talking about Cam and you know it.”

Safi shot her a piercing look. “I am not calling Caden.” She paused. “I’ll call Leopold.”

“For what?” Iseult laughed. “Moral support?”

“Hey, your boyfriend’s more handy than you think.”

Iseult’s stomach flipped. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

Safi rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You’re right. He’s not, but he could be! If you would stop avoiding him.”

Iseult’s stomach vaulted again, but this time for an entirely different reason. “Did he say that?” she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“That you’re avoiding him? No, but I can tell by the way he asks about you.” Safi studied Iseult for a moment. “Do you like him?”

“I…” Iseult didn't know what to say. She didn’t know what she felt. While she had spent a good deal of time telling herself that Leopold’s flirtatious advances towards her were a figment of her imagination - I mean, look at the guy. He basically waltzed right out of a Disney movie - she knew in her gut that they were real. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about what it would be like to date him. To kiss him. Would she burst into a puff of smoke when his lips touched hers and reappear a beautiful princess? It all seemed so ridiculous to her. They were like night and day. But even so, there was no denying that they shared a bond. She trusted him. With him, she felt safe.

With that thought in mind, she ended lamely, “I don’t know.”

Safi nodded, eyes soft and understanding. “That’s fair… Maybe seeing him tonight will help,” she said encouragingly.

Right. Tonight. Vaness’ little shindig. Iseult hadn’t exactly been crossing off the days on her calendar in anticipation.

Safi’s face went serious again. She hesitated. “Hey, so Alma called while you were in the shower.”

Shit. “She did?” Iseult asked, trying to keep her voice light. It wasn’t like this was the third time Alma had called this week and she hadn’t gotten back to her or anything.

“Yeah. I picked up…” said Safi, sounding apologetic. “I figured it could be about something important.”

“I’m assuming if you’re just telling me now that it wasn’t?”

Safi shook her head. “No. Just asked if you could call her back.”

“Ok… Thanks. I will.” Iseult swallowed the lie and let her eyes wander to the mess around them. “I take it this means you’re not reading the book for the book club?” She picked up a copy of Sisters of Sight from the top of one of the nearby stacks.

“No,” Safi was quick to say, snatching the book away from Iseult and holding it to her chest possessively. “I added that to the pile by mistake.”

“Of course,” Iseult said without much confidence. Sierra, one of the baristas working the morning shift, came over and offered a steaming to-go cup of coffee and a paper bag that, judging by the heavenly smell, was her favorite cinnamon crunch bagel.

“Such service” she commended, taking them from Sierra and thanking her.

“This place ain’t half-bad,” Safi chimed in, watching with approval.

“Not half-bad at all,” Iseult agreed, then took a sip of her coffee. She made a face as she swallowed. “Well, the coffee definitely falls into the half-bad category. Real Marstoki coffee my you-know-what,” she grumbled under her breath.

“You can say ‘ass’ in front of me,” Safi goaded, smirking. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Iseult shook her head and stood up from her chair. She was officially running late now. “Well, thank you for an eventful morning. Your neuroses never fail to entertain. I’m only working a half-shift, so I’ll be back this afternoon. Try to be nice to Cam before I get here,” she added with what she hoped was a convincingly stern look.

“Remind me again why we hired him?” Safi asked, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

“Because we’re all about helping the little guy,” answered Iseult as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

“I didn’t realize we meant that literally.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You broke our no high schoolers policy. I hate high schoolers.”

“Cam’s different.”

“He has no work experience.”

“Everyone has to get their start somewhere. We didn’t exactly have much work experience when Mathew and Habim hired us. Besides,” Iseult added, looking around and gesturing to the cafe, “this isn’t exactly a high-stakes operation. I think Cam can handle pouring coffee. Just be patient. Not everyone learns at the same pace.” She tugged on her beret cap and picked up her coffee and bagel. “Well, I can’t wait to see you and the book nook when I get back.”

Safi’s face tightened and her smile froze in place. “Me too,” she said as one of the book piles toppled over. “Me too…”

* . * . * . * .

Aeduan was not having a good morning.

The news that they would be making a trip to the library that day was not received with warm reception from the four-year-old. At first, Owl just frowned, not understanding why they were going if they weren’t going to see Evrane. The concept of the library existing even when they weren’t there was a shock to Owl - an unpleasant one judging by the horrified look on her face - and Aeduan did his best to explain that the library was open to more than just the two of them, and that they were welcome to visit any time they wished, even when they weren’t meeting with Evrane. He thought this would clear up the matter and put to rest Owl’s apparently very serious concerns about the library. He was so incredibly wrong.

Owl had been possessed by the devil - Aeduan was sure of it.

The nightmare started with her bath. Aeduan could have skipped his shower if he had known how wet Owl would get him with all her thrashing, suddenly violently adverse to water. By the end of it, there was more water on him than in the tub. He’d had to change - but only after he managed to wrangle Owl into her own clothes (another Olympic feat). At breakfast, she threw her Cheerios on the floor and the moment Aeduan finished picking up every last O, she spilled her orange juice. By the time they left the house, Aeduan was so preoccupied with Owl squirming in his arms, he didn’t notice Blueberry sauntering across the porch and he tripped over the damned thing, sending himself - and Owl - toppling into a snow pile. She’d started sobbing then. Not for herself or for Aeduan, whose hip was throbbing in pain. No, no, no. She was upset that he may have hurt the cat. It took 20 minutes for him to assure her that Blueberry was ok, another 20 minutes searching for the little cretin when it became clear she needed physical proof of the fact (he was hiding under the porch wedged behind the recycling bin), and by the time her sobs had turned into sniffles, he was so discombobulated that he didn’t even bother to go back inside and change out of his now soaking wet pants. Again. He was too worried he’d never get Owl out of the house again if he did. He wasn’t taking any chances. He skipped the car altogether, even though it had just snowed and the sidewalks probably weren’t all cleared yet. Barring performing an exorcism, getting Owl to sit still long enough for him to fasten her into her carseat seemed inconceivable and - with his ears still ringing with her last screaming meltdown - he wasn’t looking for an encore.

Owl was deathly quiet by the time they reached the library. Maybe she had run out of tears. Aeduan certainly hoped so. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Owl fell apart while they were inside the building. Possibly breakdown and cry himself. Evrane would love that.

Shit. Evrane. In all the chaos, Aeduan hadn’t even thought about what he’d say if they happened to run into her. He hastily ran through some quick excuses in his head while he crossed the library’s main hall, eyes darting around the open space for a splash of white hair and listening for the tell-tale sound of clattering of silver… which was precisely the moment he ran into Iseult. Or rather, Iseult’s book cart.

The cart went toppling over, taking Iseult along with it, and crashed to the floor with a bone-rattling BOOM. The sound echoed unforgivingly through the voluminous hall. Aeduan stared at Iseult sprawled out on the floor covered in books, stunned, then snapped into action.

“Are you alright?” he asked, hastily depositing Owl on the ground and kneeling down beside Iseult. She looked shocked, eyes frozen wide, like she didn’t know how she had ended up on the floor. He hastily began pulling books off her.

“You should be more careful,” Aeduan admonished gruffly. He gathered and stacked the fly-away books into a pile off to the side while Iseult just sat there, silent. Annoyed, he opened his mouth again when he picked up a tattered volume off her leg.

His movement stuttered and his eyes locked on a jagged rip in her tights. The pale skin shone like a tear in the night sky. He swallowed thickly and he tore his eyes away.

“Someone could have gotten hurt.” He got up, leaving Iseult on the floor, and walked over the fallen cart. He pulled it upright, the wood groaning with the motion. He braced his hands on either end and gave it a firm jostle. It seemed sturdy enough, despite its obvious wear. Satisfied that it was safe, he started transferring the books back on its shelves.

A strange sort of hiccup from behind him caused Aeduan’s head to snap up. He’d had enough tears that morning. This whole day could fuck off into the void if Iseult was going to start crying too. He jerked around, not sure what he would do if he saw a single tear on her face, then stared.

Iseult was laughing. He’d never heard her laugh. Or truly seen her smile. It transformed her whole face that was always so emotionless. Even as confusion shot through him, he couldn’t help but appreciate the sight.

He offered a hand to her.

“Are you alright?” The question came out more reserved this time. Less like an accusation.

Iseult nodded, her soft laughter fading to nothing, and accepted his help. Her hand was cold against his. She let go when she was back on her feet and offered him a small smile in appreciation.

Aeduan pointed to the tear at her knee, if only to distract himself from the feeling she’d left in his empty hand. “That looks like it hurts.”

Iseult ducked her head and gave her leg a quick once-over. Aeduan found himself looking too, but when his gaze began to roam to other places, he quickly looked away.

“N-no, it’s fine,” Iseult stammered. “I’m just out a pair of tights.”

Aeduan frowned, not sure what to say to that. Iseult bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged. “I-I have a hundred pairs, so it’s f-fine.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Aeduan asked for a third time. The tremble in her voice was making him uneasy.

“Mhmm,” was all she responded with, nodding her head. She fidgeted with the cuffs of her sweater. “I’m sorry I almost ran you two over.”

Two? Oh, right! Owl.

Aeduan looked down at Owl next to him. The look she was giving them was downright murderous, if that was possible. Owl had proven on more than one occasion that she was capable of extraordinary things - even if she was only four.

“You didn’t,” Aeduan replied, looking away from her and back at Iseult. “I should have been paying attention. I’m sorry.” He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they were out of his mouth before he could give them any thought. They seemed to be the right thing to say, though, because Iseult’s face relaxed and he thought he caught a faint smile.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, looking up at him shyly.

Aeduan swallowed, heart stuck in his throat. “You…. are?”

“Mmm,” Iseult confirmed. She wet her lips, the pink tip of her tongue darting out and capturing Aeduan’s attention fully and wholly. “I was just about to drop these off and get my things to go. I have your book. One of the other librarians would have been able to get it for you, but…” She trailed off, ducking her head and looking down at her feet.

But, what? Aeduan thought frantically. He’d never felt more desperate for someone to finish a sentence.

Instead, she abruptly announced: “I’ll go get it now,” then pivoted on her heel and glided away from him. He watched her go, eyes carefully trained on the manner of her gait. If she was hurting, she hid it well. Every stride of her legs was poised and measured, much like her personality. However, when she was about ten feet away from him she paused and turned around. Aeduan noticed how she hesitated when she saw him watching her, but, subtly, she squared her shoulders, and proceeded to make the short trek back to where him and Owl stood by the book cart.

Oh. The book cart.

Aeduan made no comment when Iseult reached them nor did she. She simply rotated the cart on its wheels and ushered it away. The rickety contraception left a trail of unwelcomed noise, earning her several annoyed looks from nearby patrons. As if it was Iseult’s fault that that ancient piece of craftsmanship made such an infernal racket.

Aeduan glared at them.

It didn’t take Iseult long to return. When she appeared, she was buttoned up in a coat and wore an old-timey looking beret on her head. On anyone else it probably would have looked childish, but on her it was cute. Aeduan shrugged the observation off by focusing on the book in her hand.

“I hope you don’t mind that I looked up your account to check it out,” she said as she handed Elmer and the Dragon to him. A boy in a red and white striped shirt and blue cap playing a flute to a circle of yellow birds looked up at him from the cover. “We’re not supposed to do that without the patron present, but... well... I figured you’d probably want to get in and get out.”

Aeduan looked up with the faintest of frowns. “Why do you say that?”

Iseult blinked, and though nothing else moved out of place on her face, Aeduan could tell she was surprised. “Well,” she said slowly, “whenever you come in you always seem like… like you don’t want to be here.”

Aeduan tensed. That wasn’t true. Maybe it had been before, but now… now he wasn’t so sure.

He assessed the facts. Today was Friday. He’d defied all logic and come in on a day he wasn’t obligated to. He’d triggered the second coming of Judas just to be here by facing off with an irritable 4-year-old and a demonic cat. He’d even risked Evrane’s unsolicited judgement. All that he had done to pick up Owl’s book. To make Owl happy. The wet jeans frozen to his ass were proof of that.

“I wanted to be here today,” he said, tucking the book under his arm. The truth of that statement almost distracted him from the pink blush that rose on the apples of Iseult’s cheeks. Almost.

She cast her gaze down to her hands and busied herself with pulling on her gloves. “I have to go to my next job.” Her voice was muffled somewhat by the thick scarf wrapped so high around her neck it obscured some of her chin.

“The coffee shop?”

“The coffee shop.” She let her hand fall to her sides - gloves secured - and with nothing left to keep her occupied, she looked at him.

“Well...” she began. The suggestion of her departure was obvious in her tone, but Aeduan interrupted her.

“We were planning on heading there after. After coming here.”

“You were going to go to Jitters?” Iseult’s eyebrow actually bounced and Aeduan relished the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of her. It was becoming something of a game between them - though, he wasn’t sure she was aware she was a player.

“Yeah. It’s what we do on Fridays.”

Iseult peered from Aeduan to Owl. Unconvinced maybe. “You go to Jitters every Friday?”

“Well,” Aeduan backtracked, feeling his insides freeze up a bit, “we have been for the last month. It’s… a new tradition.”

He hoped that didn’t sound weird. Iseult was still staring at him with that blank stare of hers, her eyebrows having recovered from their brief surprise. It was all so maddening. He never knew what she was going to say. It made everything he said all the more nerve wracking… and exciting.

He realized something then, something that made the corner of his mouth curl up. Just like that, he wasn’t afraid of what to say next.

“Shall we?”

* . * . * . * .

Iseult was getting coffee with Aeduan.

Scratch that. Iseult was getting coffee for Aeduan. Or at least, she would be once they got to Jitters.

They were walking. Outside, Aeduan had apologized and muttered something about not being able to use the car in the morning. He did that a lot. Mutter. But Iseult didn’t mind. Especially when there was an apology buried in there - which, there had been that day. Twice. That wasn’t so bad either. (Not that she was keeping track, of course.)

The sidewalks were icy, and several times, Iseult nearly slipped. Each time she noticed the way Aeduan’s hand shot out to grab her out of the corner of her eye - but only just. He never quite made it to touching her. His hand would hover in the air - she could practically feel it - waiting for her to recover, and after, it would fall back to his side, wrist rolling.

The three of them walked side by side, Aeduan in between Iseult and Owl. There was no way of knowing for sure, but Iseult suspected that he had put himself in the middle to act as some sort of buffer. The contempt radiating off of Owl back at the library hadn’t gone unnoticed by Iseult. She could have imagined it, but she thought she even saw a smidgen of smugness on the child’s face after she had fallen. While Iseult admired Aeduan for fighting for custody of the child, there was no ignoring it: Owl was strange.

Aeduan held on tight to Owl’s hand, setting the pace for the three of them. Unlike Iseult, she hadn’t slipped once. So strange.

Nothing was said for the first ten minutes of their trek. Eventually, Iseult worked up the nerve and broke the ice in a way that didn’t involve falling on her ass.

“You said you started coming to Jitters every Friday?” she asked, giving Aeduan a side-long look. He nodded, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

“Before we pick up my sisters from school.”

Sisters. Interesting. Iseult instantly latched onto the topic. “Do they live around here?”

Aeduan shook his head. “Arithuania.”

“That’s not too far,” Iseult commented conversationally. “How old are they?”

“Lisbet’s 12 and Cora’s 8… They're my half-sisters.”

“Oh.” Iseult mulled over that. It was a seemingly small detail, but it invited a whole host of questions about his family. Lisbet and Cora were younger than him, so that meant he had a stepmother… which meant something had happened to his real mother. The desire to not to lose momentum of the conversation almost pushed Iseult to ask… but then she thought about Gretchya. If the roles were reversed and Aeduan had asked about her mom, she wouldn’t have wanted to answer. Her mom was about the furthest thing away from what she would want to talk about, now or ever.

So instead she said, “I don’t have any siblings. But I have Safi.”

Aeduan’s head turned to her. “Who’s Safi?”

“My best friend.” Iseult’s face broke out into a smile like it always did when she thought about Safi. “She’s the closest thing I have to a sister.”

“That… must be nice.”

Iseult nodded in agreement. “We live together.”

A pause. “Do you get along?”

“Most of the time. But even when we disagree, we’re always in sync. We’re always on each other’s side. It’s... hard to explain.”

“Hn.” That was all Aeduan had to say to that and then silence fell between. Iseult really felt like it was his turn to pick up the conversation. She’d done a decent enough job carrying it so far; a two minute run was pretty good, she thought. A record, maybe, for Aeduan. But now it was his turn. Or so she thought. Because the silence stretched. And stretched and stretched. She even heard Owl sigh at one point. She wouldn’t be surprised if she fell asleep by the time they made it to Jitters.

“Do you live around here?” she finally asked, then groaned inwardly. What a stupid question. Of course, he lived around here. They walked to the library all the time, dumby.

“Yes.”

The single word struck a match on Iseult’s nerves. She might as well have said nothing at all if that all she was going to get back in return. She wasn’t great at making conversation on a good day, but Aeduan - Aeduan was like a monolith. There was no breaking through to him. He just stood there like a constipated brick, not saying a word, with those ridiculously blue eyes and ridiculously long lashes, and just glared at her making her feel like a complete idiot for even trying to talk to him, like she was the one with the problem!

Well, she silently seethed, it was no secret to the Moon Mother that she was ripe with issues, but she was not the problem here. She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye, and the white winter sunlight caught on the lobe of Aeduan’s ear.

“Why do you wear that thing?” she blurted.

Aeduan’s head whipped to her, his eyes slightly widened, like he’d only just realized she was there. Before, Iseult might have been scared as to how he would react to such a brazen question. But her fears had nothing on the deep satisfaction of seeing the crimson blush that fanned out high on his cheeks and crawled to the tips of his ears. She half expected him to trip over himself for how long he gaped at her.

“Why do you care?” he snarled - he actually snarled!

Iseult stood her ground. In that, she kept walking, head held high.

“I didn’t say I cared,” she said smoothly. “I’m just curious. You don’t see a lot of guys walking around wearing gemstones in their ears. It says alot about a person.”

Aeduan’s jaw locked so tightly it looked like it might never unhinge ever again - which, Iseult supposed, wouldn’t make much of a difference seeing as he never said anything worthwhile anyway.

But then he did something that surprised her. He came to a full stop. He swiveled to face her directly, and when Iseult looked into his eyes, some of the fear she’d pushed aside rushed back.

“This gemstone,” Aeduan said venomously, pointing a sharp finger to his ear, “belonged to my mother.” He glared at Iseult and she swore she heard her heart stop entirely. Strangers milled about around them on the sidewalk, but in that moment nothing else existed outside of her and Aeduan. All she saw were his eyes. Cold as ice, yet burning with hatred... and grief. Even though Iseult was petrified of what he might say next, she realized that she felt like she was seeing him for the first time.

“I wear this to remember her.” Aeduan’s chest heaved. Icy air puffed from his lips with every labored breath, and Iseult suddenly noticed how close he was to her. Just another step and their noses would be touching. And their lips…

“If you’d ever lost a mother, you’d want to feel close to her too.”

This time Iseult’s heart did stop. With a disgusted look, Aeduan swung away from her and left her standing alone on the sidewalk, staring at the empty space where he used to be.

“I don’t think I would.”

Aeduan froze and looked over his shoulder. Iseult stood rooted to the spot.

“I-I d-don’t know if that’s t-true.” She shook her head, not sure where the words were coming from. Not sure how her heart could be beating so fast and not feel like it was working at the same time. Like it was malfunctioning and pumping out thoughts she would otherwise never say aloud. Not to anyone. Maybe not even Safi.

“My m-mother is sick and I d-don’t call her,” she stammered. “I never see her. I make excuses all the time about why I can’t visit her or why I don’t return her calls and even though I know I’m being a horrible daughter, I just can’t stop. I can’t bring myself to be better for her. I don’t know who your mother was or what she was like, but I do know mine. I don’t know what I’d do without her, I’ve never not had a mother, but… I don’t know if I’d want to feel close to her b-because I don’t feel c-close to her now. I… I don’t know if I’d miss her.”

The weight of everything she just admitted lifted off Iseult and she was able to breathe again, heartbeat retreating under the cool blanket of stasis she kept shrouded around her at all times. Pumping blood, not feelings, doing its job. She took a gulp of cold air. Her limbs felt foreign to her, the tension she always carried ebbing away, and a fierce exhaustion hit her with the force of a speeding train. She didn’t think she could bring herself to look at Aeduan after everything she just confessed… but she did anyway.

His expression was painstakingly emotionless. Not even a scrap of red tinged his cheeks. During her speech she hadn’t really registered him there. Even Owl at his side was looking at Iseult with something different. There was no repulsion, not judgement. Just… curiosity.

Iseult took another deep breath of air. It didn’t matter what Aeduan thought of her now. She needed to go to work. She needed to move forward. Her eyelids fluttered close briefly.

Stasis, Iseult. Stasis. Stasis in your fingers and in your toes.

When she opened her eyes, she was moving. She was brushing past his shoulder. And then-

Something stopped her.

Iseult looked down at the hand firmly gripped on the strap of her book bag, then slowly, tipped her chin up to look at Aeduan. The white winter sun behind him was a halo around his head.

“Can I buy you a muffin?”

* . * . * . * .

Somehow Iseult ended up on the green couch at Jitters. There had been scant elsewhere for the three of them to comfortably sit, so while Iseult had made a beeline for the couch before anyone else could snatch it out from under them, Aeduan headed to the counter to fetch them some coffee. Caffeine was probably the last thing Iseult needed right now - not after what had transpired on their walk - but when Aeduan had asked her how she took her coffee, she couldn’t find it in herself to refuse him.

There was an air of relaxed cheerfulness about the shop, the place bustling with people getting a jumpstart on their weekend, college students done with classes for the week. When Iseult spotted Cam alone scrambling behind the counter and Safi nowhere in sight, her first instinct was to rush over and give him a hand, but the second Aeduan stepped into her line of sight and instructed her to find a seat, she’d forgotten all about him.

It felt strange sitting and being waited on in her own coffee shop. It was like being served in her living room. She sat spine rod straight on the edge of the couch with her hands absently twisting her gloves in her lap. She hadn’t even bothered to take off her coat or scarf. They felt like protective armor now, like needing a blanket to fall asleep regardless of whether it’s cold or not. Right now, it was admittedly too hot, what with the fireplace crackling by the couch. She could feel herself growing uncomfortably warm. She resolved to loosen her scarf, but only a little bit.

Aeduan wasn’t alone when he reappeared carrying two mismatched mugs of coffee. Cam followed behind him, his face pinched in concentration, moving with caution as he balanced three small plates of pastries perilously along his spindly arms. Iseult tried not to make a show of watching him as he approached, but she held her breath, praying for him not to fumble. It would be exactly the kind of thing he would do, the poor kid. The second hand embarrassment alone would cause Iseult to combust.

The second the plates made contact with the low coffee table, she was able to breathe freely.

“Cam,” Iseult said, peering over the back of the couch and looking around the shop, “where’s Safi?”

Cam put down the last of the plates and wiped off his brow, relief evident on his face. “She ran out to the corner store. The delivery guys must be running late and we ran out of creamer.”

“That’s the second time this month,” Iseult muttered more to herself than to Cam. She sighed. “I’ll have Safi give them an earful when they get here.”

“Aye aye, sir.” Cam gave her a dutiful salute. He made to turn away, then stopped as if only just realizing that he had just served pastries to her. “You are working today, right? Safi seemed to think you were.”

“In another half hour,” said Iseult, checking the clock on the wall for good measure. “Don’t worry, I’ll be on by the time you need to leave. You won’t be late for your Big Brother meeting.”

Cam’s cheeks went a little pink and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Ok, thanks,” he said sheepishly. “I’m really sorry he called last week. I told him it wasn’t your fault, I swear.”

A memory of Safi hunched over the desk in their cramped office in the storeroom, red-faced, holding the phone to her ear flashed across her eyes. Safi’d endured a very heated discussion with some guy that claimed to be Cam’s Big Brother - didn’t even bother to properly introduce himself, the loser - and accused them of letting Cam off his shift late so that he was late for their meeting. Judging by the 30 minutes hate-rant that followed after she’d hung up the phone, it had not been a productive conversation.

“I believe you, Cam. It really wasn't a big deal,” she lied. It had taken forty bucks worth of take-out and a bottle of wine to convince Safi not to fire him on the spot.

“Ok,” Cam said again, shoulders relaxing. He surveyed the spread on their coffee table and glanced at Aeduan and Owl seated next to her. “I just wasn’t sure what this was.”

“Oh ah…” Iseult glanced at Aeduan who was helping Owl peel the paper wrapping off her muffin, not paying the least bit of attention to their conversation. “We’re just having some lunch.”

“Alright,” Cam said, eyeing Aeduan skeptically, if not fearfully. But he didn’t pry further. “Well, I’ll see you in a bit then. Enjoy your, uh, lunch.”

“Thanks,” Iseult said, watching him leave. Stealing herself, she shifted in her seat to face lunch.

Aeduan hadn’t touched his food. He was too busy fussing over Owl. She sat between them, contentedly munching on a muffin that was almost as big as her head. Much like before when they had been walking together, she felt like Owl was acting as some sort of barrier now, like Aeduan had put her there to keep some space between them. Iseult wondered if she should read into it. Maybe he was trying to tell her that this wasn’t anything special. Just two people having coffee. Nothing put the lid on romance faster than a four-year-old who, as far as Iseult could tell, hated her. And then there was the issue of the 6 months worth of guilt she’d word vomited all over the sidewalk just 10 minutes ago.

“Is everything alright?” Aeduan asked as he put down Owl’s juice box on the coffee table and picked at his own muffin.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Iseult said, almost breathless. “Just a problem with our delivery guys. I’ll have Safi handle it when she gets back.”

Aeduan popped a piece of muffin in his mouth and chewed methodically as he studied her. He swallowed. “No, I meant with you. Your face. It’s all red and splotchy.”

“Oh,” Iseult breathed, hands flying to her cheeks. The skin burned under her fingers. “I… I’m just a little warm, I guess. The fire…” Aeduan continued to stare and she looked down helplessly at her coat. “I suppose I can take this off,” she mumbled, reaching for the buttons and beginning to undo them. She tried to steady her fingers as she continued down the line. She shrugged the peacoat off and her entire body seemed to sigh with relief at the feeling of being able to breath again. She chanced another glance at Aeduan as she unwound her scarf, noticing that he had already taken his jacket. How she hadn’t noticed until was a mystery. The white t-shirt stretched across his chest made it devastatingly clear that he didn’t need any protective armor for their not-date.

Iseult had always been so preoccupied with what was going on inside Aeduan’s head that she never really wondered what went on with the rest of him. His signature leather jacket masked how lean he truly was, but it also hid everything else. Everything else being, well, everything. And boy, there was so much to see.

Not being much of a fashion guru, Iseult had never considered what was so special about the plain white tee. That singular item of clothing had transcended decades of trends despite being, as its title suggested, plain. Now, however, its reason for persevering was evident. Embellishment would only distract from the main attraction. The attraction being, the person who wore it.

Aeduan was, for lack of a better word, stacked.

The shirt left nothing to the imagination. Iseult could see the contours of his muscles, starting with the hard plane of his chest, traveling all the way down to map the outline of his abs. His arms were on full display in all their glory, pale and strong looking and - oh my gosh - was that a tattoo peeking out from underneath the hem of his sleeve?? There was nothing unsightly about him. He was built in a way that told her that he must be well-acquainted with the benefits of hitting the genetic lottery. This wasn't the work of protein powder. Somehow he had fallen into Moon Mother’s good graces. He looked healthy and strong and 100% out of Iseult’s league… It wasn’t until now that she’d ever even considered joining a league.

She didn’t own a bat.

She didn’t own a ball.

She’d never made it to first base before, nevermind hit a homerun.

She was so woefully unequipped in every way for the living Michaelangelo statue sitting across from her that it suddenly hit her that no wonder he didn’t talk much. Who needed words when you had a body like that to do all the talking?

Except Aeduan was talking for once. Now, in fact.

“Are you going to leave that on?” Iseult barely heard him ask.

“What? Oh-” She followed his line of sight to the beret on top of her head. She hastily peeled it off and awkwardly tried to smooth out her hair. She was uncomfortably aware of Aeduan’s eyes on her. She wished she hadn’t worn the silly thing. It had been a gift from Leopold a couple Christmases back. He had insisted that it was chic and retro and, no, it wouldn’t make her look like Mary from The Secret Garden, but now she would have liked nothing more than to toss it into the fire and watch it shrivel up into a pile of ash.

“Thanks,” she forced herself to say as she reached for the mug on the table. “For the coffee and- oh.” She examined the muffin beside it, then tilted her head questioningly at Aeduan. “Did you know cinnamon was my favorite?”

Aeduan, who was mid-sip, paused. Iseult caught the corner of his mouth curled up behind his mug. Then he tipped his coffee back and it was gone. “Lucky guess.”

Iseult allowed herself to smile, a little one, before ducking her down. She began to break apart her muffin… but there was only so much eating and drinking she could do before there would need to be some exchange of words. She decided to take a stab at it.

“You said you come here every Friday?”

“Pretty much,” Aeduan said, reaching for a napkin and dabbing a smear of what looked like blueberry off Owl’s cheek. She looked like she wanted to resist but didn’t.

“You do know there’s a Starbucks right around the corner, right?”

“So?”

“Well, why come here when you could go there?”

Aeduan thought about it, then shrugged. “I like the coffee.”

Iseult snorted into her mug, sending a couple errant droplets of coffee flying. Both Aeduan and Owl stared at her. Iseult surreptitiously wiped her mouth, but when she noticed that they were still staring, Aeduan clearly confused by her reaction, she sent the same nonplussed look right back.

“Are you serious?” Iseult asked deadpanned.

“I believe I am,” Aeduan replied, a little defensive, which made Iseult want to laugh again.

“It’s not actually real Marstoki coffee,” she said, gesturing to his mug. “You know that, right?”

Aeduan peered into the contents of his mug. “It’s not?”

“Not even a little.” Iseult gave him a bemused look, enjoying the curious way he was examining his mug, almost indignant. Eventually he accepted the truth and put it down.

“You said hazelnut makes it better. I guess you were right.”

Iseult’s heart skipped a beat. He ordered his coffee that way she had brewed it for him the first time she saw him in the shop? She didn’t know why that made her feel all gooey inside but it did.

A soft chime sounded and Aeduan reached into his back pocket. The movement stretched his already too tight shirt even tighter across his chest and Iseult launched into an aggressive excavation of her muffin as to avoid ogling him. When she eventually got a grip and looked back up, Aeduan was frowning at his phone.

“Something wrong?” Iseult asked, hoping that he didn’t have to leave.

He shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He started to put it away, then stopped. “Well,” - he shifted again and slid it back out - “do you know what this means?”

He leaned across Owl and showed the screen to Iseult.

“My sister likes to send me these… things,” he explained, watching Iseult carefully as she looked at the picture on his phone. “I never know what the heck she’s talking about.”

“Oh!” Iseult exclaimed with a laugh. “It’s a meme. See, that’s Kermit the Frog. Kermit is-”

“I know who Kermit the Frog is,” Aeduan ground out like it pained him to say the goofy green muppet’s name out loud. “But what does he have to do with her trying to decide whether or not she wants to sign up for the school’s annual spelling bee?”

“Well,” Iseult began and boldly took the phone from his hand and pointed to the Kermit hooded in a black cloak. “That’s Kermit’s evil persona. He’s like the devil on his shoulder whispering in his ear and egging him on. Your sister-”

“Lisbet,” provided Aeduan.

“-Lisbet said she doesn’t want to sign up because she has too many other extracurriculars going on right now and doesn’t want to overload herself. But she also wants the satisfaction of wiping the floor with her peers’ asses because she knows she’ll win.”

Aeduan frowned at her.

“My words, not hers,” she clarified. She handed the phone back to him. “She was using that picture of Kermit talking to his sinister self to emphasize her evil instincts.”

“I wouldn't exactly classify competing in a spelling bee as evil,” Aeduan said, studying the meme again.

Iseult plunked a bit of muffin in her mouth and chewed. “Sounds like she's a pretty outgoing kid.”

“She is,” Aeduan said, clicking his phone off and tucking it away. “But she’s quiet about it… Humble in a way the most overachieving 12-year-olds aren’t. To her it’s not overachieving, it’s just her being her.”

Iseult watched the faint smile that spread across his lips, warming his usually cold face. “Cora,” he continued without prompting, “is a lot like her, but sillier. She’s younger, of course, but she’s always been a little more mellow than Lisbet. More carefree. I don’t think school means the same to her as it does to Lisbet, but she’s a good girl.”

“They both sound like they’re good girls,” Iseult said.

“They are,” Aeduan nodded. “They are.”

A comfortable silence passed between them in which they both indulged in a few bites of their muffins.

“So what are your plans for this weekend?” Iseult asked.

Aeduan stiffened, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Uh, sorry, but I’m busy. I have the girls all weekend.”

She blinked. “Right, I know... what are your plans with them?”

“You weren’t...?” Aeduan’s face went red and he absently tugged at his pieced lobe. “Oh. Well. Uh…” He tried to mask his embarrassment with a cough. “Nothing special. Lisbet likes to get her homework out of the way on Fridays and Cora likes to do what Lisbet does, so we usually spend the rest of the afternoon doing school work. Saturdays are a mixed bag. Lisbet’s does a lot of extracurriculars, so depending on what she has going on, Saturday is our day to just hang out and relax.”

Iseult had a hard time picturing Aeduan “hanging out” and wondered what that would entail. Before she could ask, a noise sprouted between them and they both looked down. Owl sipped on her straw like she was sucking the life out of her juice box. Aeduan gingerly pulled it out of her mouth and placed the exsanguinated carton on the coffee table.

“What about you?” Aeduan asked, like nothing had happened. “Do you have any fun plans?” It sounded like he struggled to say the word ‘fun’.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call my plans fun. Or call them plans at all,” Iseult confessed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I mostly work. And read.”

“And hang out with Safi.”

Iseult smiled, nodding. “And hang out with Safi.”

It took her a full 5 seconds to realize that Aeduan was smiling back at her. Not just with his mouth but with the little dimple that winked out from his cheek. It was the most brilliant thing she’d ever seen.

“Actually,” she spoke, looking down at her hands, “we’re hanging out tonight. Our friend Vaness is having a little get-together with some people.”

“Vaness?”

Iseult’s ears perked up, catching the sharp familiarity in the way he spoke her name. “Yeah. Do you know her?”

Aeduan opened his mouth to respond, his smile and the dimple noticeably missing, but at that moment, the bells over the entrance door jingled and in walked Safi.

“Iseult,” she breathed, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. A paper bag was clutched to her chest with what Iseult guessed was creamer.

At the sound of her name, Aeduan’s head instinctively turned to look over the back of the couch. Safi froze as the door closed behind her.

“S-Safi,” Iseult exclaimed, taken aback by the stutter over her best friend’s name. That was a first. But Safi didn’t seem to notice. Her feet seemed glued to the floor with her stare pinned on Aeduan.

“This is Aeduan and - oh!” - Owl was turning in her seat and pulling herself up with the back of the couch to see what the fuss was about - “this is Owl.”

Owl gave Safi a shrewd look that lasted all of 5 seconds before sinking back down onto the cushion and returning to her muffin. Clearly, she was unimpressed by Iseult’s choice in best friend.

“Aeduan, this is Safi,” Iseult told him, nearly choking on Safi’s name when she saw the frosty look he was giving Safi.

Neither of them said anything.

“We were just eating lunch,” Iseult explained, grappling for words. She looked from Safi to Aeduan waiting for someone to explain why on earth she’d been transported to the arctic tundra. They seemed to be locked in some sort of Vulcan mind meld; she had a feeling her limited knowledge of Star Trek trivia wasn’t going to do much to break it.

Thankfully, Aeduan was the one to do the deed. He sent a downward jerk of his head to Safi in acknowledgment that might as well have been a punch to the face for all the friendliness it had, then turned to Iseult.

“We need to get going,” he said, his voice carrying none of the warmth or depth it had had in their conversation moments ago.

“S-sure,” Iseult faltered. She was unable to ignore the sinking disappointment buoying in the pit of her stomach. “I w-wouldn’t want to keep Lisbet and Cora waiting.”

Wordlessly, he pulled on his jacket and helped Owl into hers, then bundled her up in her hat, scarf, and gloves. He started to stack the mugs and plates.

“You don’t have to-” Iseult tried to stop him, but he continued anyway.

“I got it,” was all he gruffed out. When everything was piled up, he stepped around the coffee table and transported it all to the counter by the waste bin. When he came back he held out his hand to Owl, who slid off the couch and placed her fuzzy mittened hand in his, then glanced at Iseult. She couldn’t read his expression, but she didn’t have much time because the next second he was turning his back on her and leaving.

Safi, who hadn’t budged, didn’t say a word as he sidestepped around her and pushed through the door. The second it rattled shut, her head whipped to Iseult. She whizzed over to the couch like time had stopped and was suddenly speeding to catch up. She threw herself down where Aeduan had been sitting and carelessly let the paper bag drop to the floor, barely giving it any mind. Disbelief was written all over her face. Iseult was glad that her expression was finally readable, but was still very much bewildered as to the reason behind it.

“What was that all about? Are you crazy?” Safi whisper-hissed.

Iseult blinked rapidfire in response. “What are you talking about?”

“Him!” Safi exclaimed, shooting a look over her shoulder. “That guy! Why on Earth would you hang out with him?!”

Iseult was so confused. She was barely able to form words. “He’s just a patron at the library. We’re friends.”

Safi gave her a flabbergasted look. “He’s not just a patron. Iseult,” - she leaned forward and brought her head close to hers - “do you seriously not recognize who he is or do you not remember anything from that night?” She pinned her with a stare, eyebrows high, as though waiting for a response, but Iseult shook her head smally, her mouth clamped shut. Nothing Safi was saying was making any sense and it was making her more and more nervous.

Safi sucked in a breath through her nose and her hand covered Iseult’s in her lap. She squeezed it bracingly. All it did was send another shot of fear through Iseult. She stared into Safi’s blue eyes.

“Iseult,” she said in a low voice, “that’s the chief of police’s son... the cop that crashed Vaness’ end-of-the-year party.”

* . * . * . * .

The moment Aeduan stepped outside, he felt like he could breathe again. It had become too hot in there. And then when Safi walked in…

Of course - of course - Iseult’s best friend had to be the impossible barista. But she wasn’t just that. Because just before she’d interrupted them, something that had been out of place had slid home and he’d realized something: he knew Iseult.

A memory of a hot summer night that started with a noise complaint rushed back to him. Being in the Domestic Violence Unit, it wasn’t something his squad typically covered, but staff was stretched thin that night, what with the non-stop partying shaking up the college city, and Aeduan didn’t have much choice to turn his back on the call. It had been one of the last runs he’d made before turning in his badge.

Iseult probably didn’t even remember it. But he did.

Owl tugged at Aeduan’s hand and felt her curl into his leg. He peered down at her questioningly.

She lifted a mittened hand out in front of her. “Dog,” she said.

Aeduan looked to where she pointed and, sure enough, there was a dog leashed to a lamppost, most likely waiting for his owner to return from getting a coffee. At the sight of the two of them, he lifted his shaggy head from his front paws, attention piqued.

Annoyance tugged at Aeduan’s gut. He hated when dog owners just left their pets tied up unattended. It was just notch below leaving them in the car.

Owl let go of his hand and clutched herself to him, hiding behind his leg. Wide brown eyes peeked out from behind him at the dog, who looked cold and miserable.

“Tail not moving,” she said, her words muffled by the fabric of his jeans. Aeduan nodded and gave the dog a pitying look.

“That’s right,” he told her. “He’s probably not happy being left out in the snow by his master.”

Owl tucked herself even closer to him and a small whimper bubbled out of her. Aeduan moved to sidestep away from her to show her the dog wouldn’t hurt her, but she only whimpered again, more loudly.

“It’s ok,” Aeduan shushed her, gently extricating her from his leg and lifting her up in the air like she weighed nothing. “I got you.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck the moment she connected with his chest and the warmth of her enveloped him, anchoring him, pushing thoughts of his old life his mind. He held her close, humming soft comforting words to her and rocking her gently.

From the snow-covered sidewalk, the shivering dog’s watery, mournful eyes watched him and Aeduan stared back. He thought about Iseult and her sick mother. He thought about Owl’s tear-stained face from that morning and her arms around him now. And then he thought about what it would take to lose a child and what it would feel like to not be missed.

#the witchlands #bookends #iseult det midenzi #aeduan #baeseult #owl #safiya fon hasstrel #iseult x aeduan #cam leeri #truthwitch #my fics #mine

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dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade · 4 years

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Dig a little deeper

Thank you for tagging me @beautifulcinephile!! I thought this could be really fun to do right now since I can’t focus on writing anything lmao This game consists of 49 questions, so I am going to answer them under the cut

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? Depends on what I am writing. In notebooks I usually use black pen but in my story ideas or official documents I prefer blue

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? If money wasn’t a factor in this equation, I’d say that I’d like to own homes in both the countryside and in the city. I crave silence and peace but at the same time, I can’t get away from the city. I have grown up only in the city, I don’t even have a relative in the countryside.

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Maybe just learn how to play guitar. It’s been quite a while since I have been struggling with it

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I usually drink coffee only with milk, but if it’s really dark coffee I’ll add a little sugar too. As for tea, whenever I drink it, I sweeten it with honey

5. What was your favorite book as a child? “Call of the wild” by Jack Landon. It was the first real book I ever read and I loved it. “White Fang” is a close second

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’d be tempted to say baths but I do tend to get really dizzy whenever I bathe because of the steam so I always have to cut them really short before I faint or something. So showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? A hobbit (does it count as a mythical creature?)

8. Paper or electronic books? Honestly, paper. But the problem is that I start running out of space where to put them in the bookshelf so I recently switched to electronic books

9. What is your favorite item of clothing? My plain white button-up shirt; it has some tiny silver threads too! Also, a black suit with a really colorful inside

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it? I actually like my name. I wouldn’t change it

11. Who is a mentor to you? My parents

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for? Um... I would like my name to be known, but not to be in the spotlight, does that make any sense? I’d like to be a published author at some point in life and be recognized for my work, but I wouldn’t like the lack of privacy nor constantly being looked at or having pictures taken of me

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Not really. It takes me a little longer to fall asleep but once I’m over that, I usually wake up only in the morning

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? I think so? I don’t really know

15. Which element best represents you? Earth and water

16. Who do you want to be closer to? My friends

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I miss seeing my friends and actually I miss going to school. It all ended so abruptly...

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. Everyday I came back from school just before lunch (this was from first grade up until fourth grade because then my school schedule was moved in the afternoon) and I used to help my grandma make lunch and I always told her about what happened at school and sometimes she even told me some stories about her high-school days

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Durian; it’s not that strange but it’s quite exotic for an European

20. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for my family and friends

21. Do you like spicy food? Yes, catch me putting Tabasco on everything lmao

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I met in Berlin some of Noel Gallagher’s bandmates and his daughter, Anaïs

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? Nope

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pencil

25. What is your star sign? Virgo

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? I don’t know man. If they’re cereals and they’re not expired, than I’m down for it

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I don’t know. I never thought about that... I just wanna leave the world a better place than when I found it

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? Yes, I really like reading. The last book I’ve completed reading is “All the light we cannot see” by Anthony Doerr, it’s amazing and heartbreaking. Right now I am reading “A tale for the time being” by Ruth Ozeki

29. How do you show someone you love them? Send them songs that remind me of them, talk to them, share with them stuff that I think that will put a smile on their face

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Unless it’s a drink that MUST have ice, no

31. What are you afraid of? Disappointing the people around me

32. What is your favorite scent? Freshly squeezed lemons

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Name unless I know them personally

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? Probably I’d get a little cottage somewhere in the mountains and a house in a city and just move between those two places

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Both. I’d love to just swim right now. Travel ban is about to come right back on and all the swimming pools are closed so...

36. What would you do if you found $50 in the ground? Well, if I saw it falling from someone’s wallet I’d give it back to them; otherwise I think I’d just walk past it. I would feel very bad for taking it

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? Yes!! As a matter of fact, every year in August when it’s my birthday, it’s a period when a lot of shooting stars fall on a daily basis. I usually spend my evening in the garden just watching them. The last one I saw was on my birthday last year, even though I wasn’t home in that period, I was in Sölden. I always make a wish

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children? Accept people, never hate

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I’d like one on the ribcage, maybe a lyric, I don’t know which one

40. What can you hear now? I’m listening to “Everything Counts” by Depeche Mode in my headphones

41. Where do you feel the safest? Home

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My fear of speaking in public and exposing my ideas. That’s exactly why I take part yearly in a public speaking competition

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I think that the 80s. My parents raised me on mostly 80s stuff and always encouraged me to dress like in the 80s lol

44. What is your most used emoji? The one with the sunglasses, I’m on the laptop so I don’t have it here

45. Describe yourself using one word. Unexpected

46. What do you regret the most? Trusting too easily and not learning from mistakes

47. Last movie you saw? Gravity

48. Last TV show you watched? Killing Eve, season 2. Tomorrow I’m starting season 3!!

49. Invent a word and its meaning. Wannagetta; I actually invented it many years ago. I was asking my mom to bring me some ice cream and she said that if I wanted it, I had to come downstairs and get it and I just kept repeating what she said and took out words until I got to “wannagetta” which basically means “if you want it, go get it”

I don’t really know who to tag since this is quite a long questionnaire... I’m going to tag some of you just for the sake of the game, but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want or don’t have time! And honestly anyone who wants to do it -- feel free to! Consider I tagged you! <3 @satans-helper, @strawberrylight, @pallanwen, @karrotkate

#about me #tag game

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skinfeeler · 4 years

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today was the only day that ever happened.

i often dream lucidly, and when i dream lucidly, i am capable of waking myself up. today, at what turned out to be 07:30, i realised i was dreaming, thought to myself “fuck, i have to wake up, i have so much work to do today” and woke up in a daze. my half-hour morning routine (breakfast over an episode of netflix or a podcast) ended up taking about thrice as long because of some domestic stuff. by the time i was done, it was 09:00.

two hours of work on the exam i have in two days, finishing the job. one hour of continued work on an assignment, keeping me on schedule. two hours of casual shopping (got new shampoo/conditioner, some groceries i had run out of, and special cleanable ear plugs for sleeping) as i explored all the stores in the neighborhoods i hadn’t noticed yet, 30 minutes of full-body lifting maintenance, 15 minutes of practising longsword guards, 15 minutes of folding and stashing laundry, then an hour of admin work and catching up with people. shortly after 16:00, i ate dinner. after that, i went to the hardware store to get some things we needed to fix things in this house, as well as a tire pump— without which our bicycles that we brought over from elsewhere would’ve eventually become useless.

at 17:30 i slept until 20:00. i had been planning to go watch a film with a friend for two hours, but someone else was feeling down and had a big day ahead of them the day after and i also wanted to do voice training before midnight (ever courteous) while also making sure i could do HIIT so i needed to shuffle some things around. until 20:45 i was looking at timetables and schedules as well as talking to people to get things done. then i needed to do the same thing as my morning ritual to wake up, meaning that at 21:15 i was ready for voice training. finished that early, caught the stream at exactly the time i said i would, 21:45. i streamed for exactly an hour, as i said i would, because the person i did it for wanted to go to sleep at 22:45. it was good, just tying some ends up, which i went through efficiently both because that’s just how i play games, but also because you know, i was on a schedule and wanted a nice starting point for next stream. fortunately it helped me untense just enough to not be wholly consumed by workbrain.

then, per schedule, i waited for my friend i was going to watch the film with to get ready as i prepared a pre-workout shake and retrieved my protein shake. i drank the shake over the course of the first hour of the film (runtime: just under two hours) meaning that i would be ready to have my pre-workout 30 min after the first hour of the film. ultimately the source for the film didn’t work out, so while we took measures to be able to do it tomorrow, i had most of my protein shake and all of my pre-workout as we chatted about a couple of things, including some things i wanted their input on vis-a-vis my work on the committee i’m part of at the derby as they’re the only one i know at my general level of athleticism. while we chatted over call, i also arranged a time and place to go skate with someone tomorrow and figured out at what point i’d have to depart for that.

at 00:45 i was ready to go outside, and by 01:00 i was done and back inside. after some work i took a shower at 01:15 — i don’t mean to make a habit of showering past midnight, but this time it ended up going this way — and after that changed back into workday clothes. had some fruit quickly and made plans with someone to help them work through a high school maths course and assigned the task to a post-it for on my wall (the strongest promise i can give people) and from 02:00 through 03:30 i did some editing work on my novel manuscript.

then i finalised this document i had been keeping as a record all day and posted it, and now i am going to sleep, knowing that i did what i both had to do and wanted to today and what’s up for tomorrow.

PROTEIN SCOOPS INGESTED: 2. HOURS OF MEDIA CONSUMED: 2. LITERS OF MILK DRANK: 1. NET POST-IT WALL GROWTH: -1. TIMES OUTFIT CHANGED: 6. NET BLACK OPS POST-IT WALL GROWTH: 1. TIMES MOMENTUM LOST AND REGAINED: 4. WORKOUTS PERFORMED: 2. CIGARETTES/ALCOHOL UNITS/JOINTS TAKEN: 0. SCHEDULE CHANGES: 4. MUGS OF TEA DRANK: 3. BONDS DEEPENED: 3. WOMEN RESPECTED: 1.

#i can do this all week bro

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wanderingaunt · 4 years

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Where'd You Go, Robin?

This is the first post in my 30-day blog challenge.

Oh look, Robin seems to have disappeared again.

No one actually realizes I’m gone.

Those are the voices I hear in my head as I think through getting back online. My thoughts are very judgmental. I often create fake scenarios and conversations about myself or what I think others are saying about me.

That’s my queue to take a step back.

Honestly, the virtual world was getting to be too much for me. When COVID began to spread throughout the U.S. in March, I found myself feeling pretty grounded and focused. It was the first time in 2 years that I had stopped to slow down. I was in Dallas at my sister’s and learning to adjust to suburban life for a change.

Slow down.

That’s normally not a phrase I say. Yet, the more I learn about my Human Design and how I’m wired, the more I recognize this to be part of who I am. According to my Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator. Manifesting Generators can often be perceived as flighty or non-committal. We like to try things on before we know if it’s going to be a fit for us. The 6/2 identifies the part of me that is a hermit as well as a role model. As I look back at my life over the past 2 years, I can see this pattern unfolding. I am free-spirited and tend to do life at my own pace. Sometimes my pace is consistent and steady, while other times it’s slow as molasses. Sometimes I’m out in the spotlight while other times, I’m going deep within and tuning out everything around me.

While I was settled in Dallas, I found myself adjusting to being in one place. When Stay at Home Orders began, I took it as an invitation to settle in and focus on my work and completing my Retreat Leader certification as part of my yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux. I was feeling pretty great and proud of myself for actually focusing and having a routine. As someone who moves around quite a bit, routines are few and far between.

As May approached, I realized that the coursework due date for my certification was fast approaching. In true Robin fashion, I waited until 2 weeks prior to May 2nd to complete 4 months’ worth of assignments. I thrive off of deadlines, yet I don’t always embrace that about myself. I hunkered down and became laser-focused. I completed my work on time and only had a couple of assignments that I needed to redo. I continued to press through and show up fully.

Completing my coaching program became my focus and refuge from the craziness happening with COVID. Yet, my focus was quickly pulled back as hardship came upon my family.

On Mother’s Day, we received a message from my Mom that my Dad was in the hospital with Severe Sepsis. My Mom called an ambulance to take him to the ER earlier that morning. He spent a week in the hospital and came close to death. Thankfully, he survived and has since made a full recovery.

Soon after that, the terrible tragedy with George Floyd happened. I found myself consumed with social media activism—posting and sharing content on my feed, signing petitions, reading, and learning. And then within a week of that, we received the news that my beloved cousin, Clint, had died of cancer at the young age of 44.

My nervous system went into shock.

Another aspect of Human Design is that it shows which channels you have open. I have many open centers and as a result, I’m highly sensitive or in other words, an empath. An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally. When I’m not conscious of protecting my energy, I can literally feel the weight of the world. When I go into overwhelm, I retreat into my cocoon (hermit phase).

2020 has been an extremely difficult and unexpected year for the entire world. For me personally, there’s been a lot of change, heartbreak, loss, and regret. As a nomad, I went from the freedom of traveling the world to being confined to one spot; in February, I ended a relationship with a man that I love and have had to deal with the regret and heartbreak from that decision; and then with COVID and all of the anti-racism movements happening, my system was in overload. After my cousin died, it was the final straw for my emotional well-being. I found myself distant from my friends and family and unable to maintain healthy boundaries or communication.

I knew it was time for me to go inward and tune out for a bit.

"I was becoming more and more of a hermit. It's not so much that I was running away from something, I was running into myself." -- Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment

I rented a car and headed west to Colorado for a personal retreat at the beautiful Six Eagles Haven. It was the first time I had left Dallas in 4 months, and ironically it was the last place I traveled to prior to COVID. When I was nearing my arrival, tears fell upon me, and I began sobbing and yelling uncontrollably.

I was having an emotional breakdown.

The breakdown lasted for at least 30 to 45 minutes. I was near panic mode. I showed up at the retreat center completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I knew I was in the right place to come exactly as I was and that nothing was wrong. I knew I was safe. My coach, Allison, was there to guide and support me through this time.

My emotional breakdown, while painful, was the start of a magical journey for me.

Six Eagles Haven is such a special place and has created many profound experiences for me. Each week there will be a movie night where Randy (Allison’s husband) will select a movie for us to watch. He selected Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I had seen this movie earlier in the year while flying back from Africa, yet this time I felt connected to the main character. The movie is about a former architect named Bernadette played by Cate Blanchett. In the movie you witness Bernadette go through her own life crisis. She’s distant, always starting and not finishing projects, and unable to cope with the real world. Without going into much detail, Bernadette has lost her art and power to create. She gave up creating, which in turn caused her to give up on life.

I found myself relating to Bernadette. I was born to create, and I’ve been resisting that part of me for far too long.

One of the main reasons I went to Colorado was so I could have access to nature and hiking. I got up everyday and lost myself in the woods. I am a explorer at heart and love going off the beaten path. One morning I woke up and decided I was going to climb a mountain. I walked into the kitchen and told Allison that I was going to hike Mount Garfield. Allison looked at me and asked if I was looking for a challenge.

Yes, a challenge is exactly what I need.

Be careful what you wish for. ;) I had looked at the reviews and had read that it was a difficult, hard, and challenging hike. I’ve been on several challenging hikes before, so I figured this wouldn’t be too big of a deal. My ego laughed at me when I thought this.

“What is My Mountain?”

This is the question I contemplated as I was climbing Mount Garfield. This climb caused me to confront how I go about challenging situations and embrace the part of me that wakes up and declares, “Today, I’m going to climb a mountain.” When I made it back to my car, I felt so accomplished and on fire. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to remind myself of how strong and capable I am. I needed to remind myself that I thrive off of challenges and need my own mountain to climb.

The next day as I was taking my daily walk within the labyrinth, I got a download. Every time I enter the labyrinth, I set an intention for my walk and open myself up to signs and answers. This day, I asked Spirit for guidance around the question, “What is my mountain?”.

Spirit: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Me: 30…? How about 15?

Spirit: No, 30.

Me: 20?

Spirit: No, you asked for a mountain. 30.

Me: Gulp. Okay, 30…

This is what happens when I try to negotiate after I get a clear message. I’m not as great of a negotiator as I think I am… The call to write has been with me for over a year now. I have dismissed it again and again. I’ve enrolled others in my writing a book, yet, I’ve been in major resistance around actually starting. I’ve come up with every excuse and avoidance tactic. Even though, I keep receiving the call in meditation to write. Even though my oracle cards tell me, “Get thee to thy desk and write!” Even though others ask how my writing is going…I allow time to pass by and wait for tomorrow to come.

So here is my mountain: 30 blog posts in 30 days.

As with most challenges I take on, starting is the hardest part. I sit in resistance for a while and then over-analyze each word and sentence I type. I erase, write again, and repeat. I have no idea where this challenge will take me or what topics and words will be uncovered in the process. I trust the guidance of my higher self and Spirit to guide me. I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be written. I trust that answers to many questions I hold will come to surface.

Where’d You Go, Robin?…You’ll have to read to find out.

I invite you to take some time to sit with the question “What is my mountain?” for yourself. Really sit with it and listen. What shows up for you?

Ways You Can Support the 30 Day Blog Challenge

I would love your support during this challenge. While I am taking on this challenge for myself, I trust that you will identify with my writing and read the posts that you are meant to read.

Subscribe to my newsletter so you receive posts on a daily or weekly basis.

Donate to my work. I’ve been writing this blog for 3 years now and produce all of my content for free. As an artist and creator, writing is my outlet for being fully self-expressed. Your support provides encouragement (and pays the bills) to keep going. <3

Share with your network. If you are inspired by my writing and this challenge, I’d appreciate you sharing it with anyone you feel will benefit.

Comment on the posts that speak to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn which topics you relate to or identify with.

#climbing mountains #Challenge #vulnerability #human design #retreat #coaching #travel

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sugarcookiesandsins · 5 years

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Failing Sirens

Word Count: 2.1k+ Warnings: negative body-image, negative self-confidence, strained family relations, self-destructive behaviors

You sat home alone, as you had done for the last couple days since the boys were on their Japan tour, with a glass of wine in you hand. It was a weak attempt at flushing thoughts from your system, hoping that along with the contents of your stomach, the contents of your mind would be flushed down the toilet. Yet, each evening was like the night before and you went to sleep with ruby eyes.

The whole issue had started when you decided to ignore the warning signs in you belly and attend a party that your sister was holding in honor of her recent success. Of course your family would be there, and any reunion with them never seemed to turn out the best as they never missed an opportunity to compare you with her.

You didn’t understand exactly what made this time worse. Was it the fact that you were entering that time of month which predictably resulted in your skin looking less attractive or which expanded your waistline a couple inches? Was it because the boys were hundreds of miles away so you couldn’t curl up with someone and disappear for a few hours in their warm embrace? Or was it the photos?

They had started out as innocent diversions, things to laugh over as they would deny the ships the fans came up with and spilled the tea on why not. But lately, it seemed that either the skills of the fans had grown exponentially or the photos weren’t edited. Any outsider looking on could obviously point out the flaws, but to you, half under the influence of the bottles smashed on the kitchen floor, they spoke the gospel truth.

Stumbling over the three coffee tables that you could have sworn weren’t there when you sat down, you made your way back towards the singular bottle on the dining table. It only had a little left, but it was still your last hope. It would be your last glass before the boys came back tomorrow and you had to pretend that you hadn’t spent the past week cutting your feet open on the shards that littered the hardwood of the apartment.

So you cradled the last glass like it was the solution to all your problems before downing it in one swallow, too lost in the mirage that the Malbec presented to you. Then, you trudged to the bedroom in grudging acceptance of your fate and lost yourself to your nightmares

The next morning rolled around and you greeted it with the same enthusiasm as the day before - absolutely none. The entire morning you spent preparing for their arrival, which basically meant wrapping the cuts on your feet and cleaning up the offending glass. By mid-afternoon you had finished and hid the fragments under your bed to take out on a day that the boys had practice and you were alone.

Then you sat and waited - after all, Yoongi had already texted you that they were on the way. And judging from the sound of running from the hallway, there were here already. A small smile escaped your depressive state at the sound of Tae’s deep tenor as he yelled at Namjoon for being too slow - even when you couldn’t see them, they still managed to make your day brighter.

You walked towards the entrance to let them in, when the door seemed to vanish before your very eyes only to replaced with your seven dwarves. Their eyes lit up as your sweater clad figure filled their eyes, looking more soft than they had every seen you with pajama shorts and the cutest fluffy socks. Your face looking childish with a cherry blossoms blooming over your cheeks and that millimeter smile on bubblegum lips that they knew like the back of their hands.

Forcing the urge to cry into the dungeons, you faced them with a laugh and tackled the nearest one in an act of desperation. Jin seemed to be the first target as you nuzzled into his chest, perfectly content with his broad shoulders shielding you from the truth hiding under your bed. Thankfully, you retained the mental faculties to shower before they got here so when he took a deep a breath of your hair he smelled not the entirety of their wine collection but the soft fragrance of citrus from your favorite shampoo.

The rest of the boys took their turns with you, relishing feeling of being home in the purest way possible. Not just that they were back in their apartment, but they were back with you.

As you got passed around, you watched their expression for something, anything that evidenced your nightmares were a reality, but you saw what you always did, fairy lights. So, you laughed with them, still unsure and still tempted to sneak another bottle tonight.

Than night you should have slept soundly, fenced in on either side by Hobi and Yoongi as they joined you in your dreams, but you didn’t. Submitting to an insomniac’s fate, you untangle yourself from them and made your way towards the kitchen pantry, where your resident stock of alcohol lived.

Success was in sight as the gleam of the yellow light reflected across the bottle in front of you, but then your plan was ruined when a sleepy, “Kitten,” echoed loudly against the marble of the dark kitchen counters. Changing the direction of your hand, you pulled out a packet of hot cocoa. Hiding your frustrated expression, you hid a longing glance towards the wine rack with the door before turning to face the intruder.

Taehyung stood there, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with sweater-paws. You didn’t expect him to be up, normally he slept the heaviest out of all the boys, his 4D antics during the day exhausting him of all energy before his head hit the pillow.

“Hey Tae.” You sent back a soft smile, heart melting at the sight of a overgrown child in animal pajamas. You made yourself the calming drink and sat next to your lover on the breakfast stools that entertained Jimin beyond measure. You recalled the first day that you had got them and the bright smile on his face as Jungkook and Tae spun him in circles on the chair. It was an amusing sight, that was until you were placed in the seat of honor and taken on the ride of your lifetime. You were brought back to reality with the feel of soft curls brushing against your cheek. Cupping the mug between your own sweater hands, you leaned against him, forgetting for a moment the luggage of your mind.

For a moment, you were in utopia. That was until, the all-too familiar sound of glass assaulted your ears, like nails raking over a blackboard. “Baby? What are these?”

You recognized that voice, how could you not? It was a rare sound out of the sunshine male, but when it did come out it was something no one was likely to forget. You felt Tae turn to watch Hoseok, assuming correctly that Yoongi was also there standing in the entryway. You also felt him tense beside you as he realized the items that his hyungs held up. You didn’t need to turn.

You already knew what it was.

True, you could throw a fit about why they went snooping into your room, only if there was plausible cause for accusing them of that. If there was one thing that you know about your boys, it was that they never snooped where it was not necessary, or ever really when it came to her things.

This time it was Yoongi who spoke, voice commanding an answer from your body. “(Y/N) What are these?” His tone told you that he was not taking a no for an answer.

“They’re nothing Yoongs. I invited Juhi over and we had fun.” You shrug non-committedly. It wasn’t a lie. You had invited your best friend over to take away the loneliness and you have both shared a bottle of wine, but that was only one from 20.

“That’s one or two at the most. Not 20.” Now Taehyung was involved and the situation came crashing down. With Yoongi and Hoseok, they were far away. But with Taehyung you could feel everything from the rumble of the words in his chest to the breath that fueled his words.

“Kitten! Tell me the truth.” You winced at his raised volume. Yoongi seemed to be the calmest one, but he was subjected to high tensions more so than the average person.

“Quiet down! You don't wanna wake the others.” You told yourself that the less people that knew the better. You would let this blow over tonight and then wake-up to a world where everything went back to norm-.

“Too late. He work us up before he came to you.” You hated Namjoon’s voice in moments like this, oldened with age he sounded like he was scolding a child. Never once did it waver or break as you stared at the other 4 who revealed themselves within the kitchen. All of them looked more awake than they should be for the time being 2 am, leaving you to take refuge behind the only thing you could, the hot cocoa.

Taking a sip to calm your nerves, you looked back at the boys.

“Well? Are we going to get an explanation?” Jungkook. Another man who ran solely on emotions.

“It’s nothing. How about we-.”

“Bullshit! I always told you that calling me out was the best thing you ever did, now it’s time for me to return the favor.” Jimin. The sweetest soul that did not deserve all that he has been through.

Then you collapsed. It became too much, the weighted stares, the voices in your head that abandoned evidence to poison your mind, everything. Like a subsequent domino, the mug in your hands fell as well, the shattering of the material providing the soundtrack to your own body as it splintered.

Before you could comprehend what was happening, you spilled everything to them. The reunion with you parents. The dress that you didn’t fit in anymore. The photos that you had seen on the internet. Everything.

As you laid your heart on the floor to them, they just stood silently watching. They too felt the need to break down. The problems that you unleashed latched onto the unlucky seven as they blamed themselves for everything that you were going through.

You were this goddess that had blessed their lives, yet here you were with tears running down you face and blood staining your downy skin.

In the next moment, you were being lifted of the stained floor and into someone’s arms. Jin probably. The boys knew exactly how much comfort his embrace could provide, having been subject to it many time throughout their career.

As you were taken into the bathroom for a patch up, you forgot about your socks and the reason you had them on in the first place. Only until it was too late, did you see Jungkook, kneeling reverently at your feet to caress you feet, whispering soft apologies to the cuts between every brush of his lips. Your tear stained eyes looked down at him and his heart ached at the darkness in your eyes, silently screaming at him. Jin hugged you a little tighter, the only force still keeping you together at this point as he too showered your skin in soft petals.

After they finished wrapping your wounds, then brought you to the living room where the rest of the boys were waiting, surrounded by their luggage that they had been too lazy to unpack the night before. You were transferred into Hoseok’s embrace as Yoongi and Taehyung sidled up alongside to worship their goddess. Their lips like ice against your fiery hot skin.

“It seems like someone needs to be taught a lesson.” You looked across the circle at Taehyung. Since the start of the siege, you hadn’t looked at him, but now you saw him in his entirety. If you thought Hoseok was scary when mad, then you hadn’t seen Taehyung. There was something inherently wrong with seeing that marble face wrought with grief and rage.

He crawled across the circle towards your form. Raising a hand, he caressed the cheeks that had caught his attention since the first day he met you. They glowed like they always did, that glow that only emitted from your soul and painted you in rose petals.

Someone sounded their agreement and slid around Taehyung before crawling into your arms. Jimin’s head popped up and smiled at your expression. “How can we tell the world ‘Love Yourself’ if we can’t make you do the same thing.”

Namjoon stood up first, taking you into his arms, before walking with sure steps towards the bedroom. The rest followed, and looking back over your shoulder, you saw everyone following, eyes on nothing but you.

#ot7 x reader #bts x reader #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #kim seokjin #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #min yoongi #park jimin #one-shot #failing sirens #sugarcookiesandsins

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: not many ppl give me feedbacks these days so idk if ppl are losing interest or just busy but yea, i miss it. also, i know i normally update every other day but most likely, my next chapter will be up sunday and not saturday because i have plans! thanks!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i changed them a bit to fit the story but i hope you like it!

Chapter 31 : His chapter

NIALL

I had everything packed for days but I had hidden all my stuff in a wardrobe, in my room. Still, my eyes always moved there by themselves as if i was dreading all of this. It was like that specific wardrobe was on fire and I had simply closed the door and ignored it. I didn't want to think about being away from her.

I had spent all my time with Olivia when I was not at rehearsal but I already missed her. I had no idea how tough it would be to be away from her for weeks but I knew it was going to be bad. We often ended up at my place just to cuddle and watch tv simply because it was easier and we didn't have to always check if we were papped or recognized. We also didn't have to stop ourselves from showing each other affection which was a good thing because I knew we'd have to restrain our impulses when she'd join me on tour.

I felt her foot run up my leg under the table and put my gaze back on her, making her smile as she held her glass of wine up.

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

My lips parted and she chuckled, taking a sip of her glass. It was her third one and I grabbed my own, tilting it a bit to make the dark liquid move as I looked at it.

"I'm sorry, pet, what were you saying?" I asked, looking up in her eyes as she sent me a sad smile.

"Just that I'm jealous you're going to Ireland." she pointed out. "And without me, too."

My heart ached at the thought and I moved closed on the table, leaning my elbows on it.

"Come with me. I want to start this tour with you."

Her eyes went soft and she tilted her head on the side, glancing down at her hand before looking up at me and I just knew she was going to refuse. I could also read in her eyes that she wanted to come, and that the answer she had to give me really hurt her.

"I can't. We start filming in 2 days. I have a scenes and I have to check the text and everything." she explained before sighing. "I wish I could come, though, I miss it."

I felt something twist in my heart but I was not sure if it was because she couldn't come with me or because she was about to spend time with her ex fiance. Perhaps it was a bit of both, and when I felt her foot move up my leg under the table again, I held my breath.

"So I hate to ask but, how do you feel about playing the girlfriend of the man you were supposed to marry?" I wondered, putting my glass back on the table and leaning against my chair.

Her eyes dropped to her plate and her foot moved away from my leg. The atmosphere felt heavy suddenly and I had the feeling that she didn't expect me to ask this question. It was our last dinner together and I had made sure I cooked something she loved, turn down the lights with the dimmer, bought her fave wine and put music in the background. But I was ruining it at the moment and it bothered me.

"I didn't know when I should tell you I just..." she sighed and looked up in my eyes, tilting her head. "I texted Dylan and I'm supposed to go for dinner with him tomorrow night, after you leave."

I put my fork back in my plate and frowned, pressing my lips together. "Should I worry?"

"No. But it's important that we have a good connection.. or at least that we don't hate each other." she explained with a shrug. "I want to know how he feels, and what he wants. I mean, I'm new to this business, but I want to make things right."

I reached for her hand and she looked up. I sent her a small smile and nodded. "Hey, I get it."

She licked her lips and squeezed my fingers, holding my hand and grabbing her glass with her other one. She took a sip and finally let go of my hand. It only took a minute until I felt her foot on my leg again and this time, the left corner of my lips moved up.

"You can't help it, can you?" I joked with a chuckle.

"Nop!" she replied with a smile. "I have to always touch you."

"What are you gonna do when I'll be away mm?"

This was meant as a joke but her smile fell and she shrugged. It suddenly made me think of all the nights I'd fall asleep without her, all the morning I wouldn't wake up holding her, all the meals I'd eat without her. I grimaced and shook my head.

"I keep ruining this evening over and over, don't I?"

"No, all your questions are legit." she just said in a soft tone, tilting her head on the side. "I don't know what I'll do when we'll be away. Hold my pillow against me and pretend it's you, perhaps."

"And when you're horny?" I asked with a smirk.

"Hump my pillow and pretend it's you." she replied quickly, making me laugh.

"I don't want to go." I let out in a whisper, making her raise her eyebrows. "I mean yea, I want to go out there and do music but, I can't stand to be away from you."

She stared at me with soft eyes and let out a chuckle but there was no amusement in her tone. It sounded more like sadness, or something that came close to nostalgia.

"It's true." I added, making her shake her head.

"No I know, I was just thinking... if you had never broken up with me, I would probably had followed you, you know? So we would be together. But at the same time, I'd still be that fragile, insecure person that depends on you and, I don't want that." she admitted with a small shrug. "I like who I've become, and I love my job. I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who follows her boyfriend everywhere without having her own projects, her own life."

I held my breath and licked my lips. I knew what she meant, and I totally understood, but I didn't feel like I ever saw her as this dependent and fragile girl she was talking about. Was I just blind to it?

"I think you don't need someone who'll just follow you around. The times you were the most attracted to me were the times I didn't need you, the times I knew what I wanted, who I was and what I deserved. I mean, I know you love me because of who I am, but you were drawn to me more when I wasn't all over you."

No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't decide if she was right or wrong but if she was right, I really never did that on purpose, and I never even realized it.

"One time, when we were apart, I missed you so much and I couldn't handle it anymore. You had moved here, and I read on your web site that it was the premiere of your tv show." I admitted, shaking my head and looking down at my glass before quickly taking the last sip. "So I put clothes on, grabbed a cap, and went to the premiere."

I looked up only to see her frowning with her lips parted. I had all her attention and it made something stir in my stomach.

"I waited a few hours just to see you, and when I did, I just watched you pause for the cameras, flashes everywhere, and all that shit. You were with Dylan but I barely noticed him because you were literally glowing. I was seeing you happy. Very very happy. I remember trying to find a time where you were this happy with me. And I realized that you didn't need me anymore." I waited until she looked up in my eyes again to keep talking. "You've always been a strong and smart woman, but at that very specific moment, I knew I was not important anymore. You didn't need me, you didn't long for me anymore, and even if I tried to convince myself that you would always love me somehow, it was fucking tough."

There was a moment of a silence and she just pushed the air out of her lungs as a small smile appeared on her lips.

"That day I could swear I saw you, and... I thought I was hallucinating you. Black cap, white Nike shirt... I came to the conclusion that my mind was just playing tricks on me. I knew I was not over you but I was trying to move on and when I lost you in the crowd I decided you weren't really there." she chuckled again but her lips curled too. "It was really you."

"Yep, was me, i'm sorry."

She stared at me some more and slowly, her head tilted on the left and her lips curled more.

"You really never stopped loving me." she pointed out in a murmur, as if she was now realizing it, or believing it.

"Not a second, Olivia."

She teared up suddenly and I felt my heart break. I reached for her hands as she let tears fall down her cheeks. I didn't want this, I didn't want to make her cry, or hurt her, and here I was, doing exactly that. Again.

"I'm so sorry, Liv, please, I'm sorry." I repeated, my face twisting with pain. "Please, come here."

I pulled on her hands and she breathed in, getting up as I spread my legs to give her space. I felt the need to get her closer, to feel her body against mine and I just tapped my thigh, making her chuckle through her tears and shake her head.

"Sit down." I whispered, sending her a sad smile.

"No," she sniffed. "I'll crush you."

"Sit the fuck down."

She raised her eyebrows but her smile was still intact and she moved away to let me press my thighs together before sitting on me. One of her arms wrapped around my neck and she moved dangerously close, making my lips curl more. I could see every trait of her face, from the gold around her pupils to the little scar near her mouth from when we were kids and she fell off the stairs. She smelled amazing, the same mix of honey and vanilla I was used to, and I wrapped both my arms around her waist.

"Not too heavy?" she wondered, raising her eyebrows again and making me frown.

"Stop saying stupid things, will you?" I let out. "I know you gained weight, I know you hate it, and you need to know two things. First of, I love it. And second of, I'm a tank baby, you've never met a strong man like me."

This time, she started laughing, letting her head fall back as a long laughter boomed out of her open lips. Just watching her laugh made me happy and I let out a chuckle as I watched her. I pulled her closer and one of my hands ended on her thigh, making her look back at me.

"Be honest. Did you stop loving me, at some point?"

Her eyes roamed on my face and she moved closer again, kissing my upper lip very slowly. She was so soft and gentle all the time and I missed that in my life. I missed her touch and how tender and loving she was, especially with me. When she was not in my life anymore, all I could think about was that I missed her, but I also missed everything she did, everything she said, everything she was. It's the little things I missed the most and those things, she was giving them back to me. Slowly, and by little waves, but I was still getting samples from time to time. I was greedy, though, I wanted all of them, and right now, but I would wait for her. A lifetime or two, no doubt. Maybe even three.

"I hated you." she admitted in a murmur, her lips brushing against mine. I felt my heart shatter and swallowed a lump in my throat. "I hated you, I cursed you, I wished you wrong. I complained about you, I bitched about you, I cried and yelled about you."

I blinked a few times, trying to keep my emotions in. Even if I couldn't blame her, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach and was twisting it with each of her words. I kept quiet. I couldn't talk anyway, and she kept going.

"But not one second, I stopped loving you." she whispered, bringing her hand to my cheek and running her fingertips on my stubble before slipping them in my hair. "I've been in love with you for 20 years, Niall. I think after all this time, falling out of love is impossible. There's a point you reach that you just know, deep inside, that the love you feel is there to stay. I've reached that point. A long time ago."

"But you hated me." I argued in a breath before she sighed.

"Trust me, it's possible to hate and love someone at the same time. I hated you because I loved you so much."

I didn't even know if it made sense but I just nodded.

"I don't hate you now, Niall. I feel many many things for you but nothing negative, I promise."

She kissed my lips again and tugged at my hair very gently as her mouth traveled on my lips and jaw. I remained motionless, my hand burning on her thigh while she showed me affection, and with the way her hands and lips moved on me, I knew she was not lying. There was something special and unique in the softness of her touch that talked louder than a voice could, that explained better than words would.

It took me a few minutes to react but a bit roughly, I brought my hands to cup her face and kissed her harder. Her lips parted more to deepen the kiss and I moved closer to her, my hands now running on her back and her arms before I let one of my hands slip under her shirt. I wanted her so bad and it was so sudden that I could feel my whole body throb.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, petal." I admitted low, allowing my lips to leave her briefly before crushing my mouth on hers again. "Let me make love to you, yea?"

I got up, making her do the same, and grabbed her waist, turning her around and pressing her against the windows behind her. I let my mouth move avidly to her neck as I started breathing harder. She took her shirt off and I did the same with mine, throwing it away before pressing my body against hers. One of her hands reached for my cock and she grabbed it over my pants as my lips moved to her breasts. I moved her straps down and pulled on her bra to expose her nipples and my lips wrapped around one immediately. I sucked on it, making her whimper low and finally let my mouth brush down to her stomach until I reached her pants, unzipping them quickly and helping her take them off. She stood there, only in her underwear, and I pulled the side of her panties away to press my lips against her pussy.

"Oh my god."

I grabbed one of her legs and moved it up, putting it on my back to hold it, and spread her lips more before slipping my tongue down on her slit until it was inside her and bringing it back up to her clit. I sucked on it for a while and felt her fingers pull on my hair. I got the hint and moved back up, unzipping my pants too and getting undressed as she stared at me, lips parted. I moved closer to her, feeling my dick rub on her thighs and she moved her leg around me again. I ground my hips against her a few times and when I felt my tip slip inside her, I let out a short groan.

"I want to make love to you, not fuck you for 5 stupid minutes and cum."

She laughed and smiled as I looked at her. She tilted her chin up to look in my eyes better and I searched for her hands, grabbing them and bringing them on the walls, on each sides of her head. She held them there and I slid my fingertips on the inside of her arms before reaching her palms and intertwining out fingers together. I pushed myself a bit deeper inside of her and she let out a low whimper, her eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you so much." I whispered. "I promise you'll never have to hate me. Ever again."

She nodded quickly and bit her bottom lip. "Okay."

I pushed myself completely inside her and felt my eyes flutter at the feeling.

"You feel incredible."

I brought my face closer and started thrusting in and out of her slowly but at a regular pace. My lips brushed against hers with every jerk and I didn't let go of her fingers. I felt her squeeze my hands harder and from time to time, she'd kiss my lips as I moved, or would let out a low moan.

"I love you. I love you, Olivia."

Her face twisted and I could swear she was about to cry. I pushed my body against hers more and kissed her lips a few times before kissing her deeper but still very slow. I didn't want her to cry, I wanted her to cum.

"N-Niall." she breathed out before I pulled away slightly and saw her shut her eyes tight. "Oh my god, I'm cum-"

She couldn't finish her sentence and started shaking between me and the window. I kept moving in and out of her but watching her get an orgasm made me reach mine and I leaned my forehead against hers as I came inside her, squeezing her hands maybe a bit too tight.

We were both a panting mess when we were done but we still remained motionless, our bodies pressed together, my forehead leaning against hers and our fingers intertwined on each side of her head.

"I love you too, Niall."

I smiled at her words and finally moved away and told her I'd be right back. When I got out of the bathroom, I had put sweatpants on and she was now wearing my shirt along with her panties, which I believed was her best outfit. The music was still playing in the living room and I extended my hand to her and raised my eyebrows.

"You wanna dance?"

"Here?" she smiled. "In your living room?"

I didn't answer but she just licked her lips and put her hand in mine. I made her twirl around and she giggled before I pulled her closer the same way I had at the wedding but for some obvious reason, it felt way more intimate. She leaned her head on my shoulder and it made me suddenly very happy.

I had found a radio station that only played music from the 90's and I knew it would make her happy. A slow song started and she chuckled as I pulled her closer.

"I love that song."

It took me a few seconds to remember that it was a Savage Garden song and when the lyrics said 'I love you more with every breath' I felt her lips on my neck, brushing up to my ear.

"I love you, Niall." she repeated. "I wish you wouldn't have to leave."

"Me too, petal, me too."

---

The next day, we were both numb and sad and we did everything mechanically, stealing a few kisses from time to time as we walked by each other while getting prepared. I wanted her to come with me to the airport but I knew she wouldn't and I didn't insist. My bags were out of the wardrobe and were now waiting for me near the door, taunting me and making my heart break every single time I saw them.

"Okay, you got your passport?" she asked, standing in front of me.

I nodded and she did the same.

"Phone? Both of them?"

"Yea, I do."

She stared at me with teary eyes but still managed to send me a smile. I breathed in and out loudly and was about to pull her close in a hug when she reached for her ear, making me frown. She took one of her earrings off and handed it to me, her head tilting on the right. I remained motionless and she raised her eyebrows, moving her hand a bit closer to me.

"You still got your ear pierced, right?"

"It's your grandma's, I can't accept it I mean, what If I lose it?"

"Then don't lose it." she just argued, taking a step closer to me before putting it in my ear and locking it.

I closed my eyes and breathed her perfume in. When she was done, I wrapped my arm around her waist and kept her close to me.

"Thank you." I whispered, burring my face in her neck.

"Every time you see it, you promise you'll think about me?" she asked, gripping the front of my shirt in her fist.

"I promise. But I'll already be thinking about you." I pointed out, making her chuckle low.

She pulled away after a while and her smile grew when she saw it on my ear. "Now we match!" she giggled this time, making me laugh a bit and shake my head.

"You’re ridiculously perfect." I pointed out, pulling her closer again and wrapping my arms around her neck this time. Her arms slithered around my waist and I kissed her head, squeezing her tight against me.

"Oh! I have something else for you!"

She got out of my embrace and rushed to the room as I shook my head. It was totally her kind to forget about something she wanted to give me until last minute and it was almost a miracle that she didn't completely forget about it. She came back, jogging to me, and handed me a box. I frowned and looked up at her only to see her biting her bottom lip, eyebrows raised.

"What it is?"

"Short letters." she explained, licking her lips nervously. "I wrote one for every show you have. The name of the place and the date is written on each envelop. You can not open them before. You have to open each envelop right before you go on stage for every show. Not 30 minutes before, not in-between two songs or later when you're at your hotel. You get your guitar, open the letter, read it, and then immediately go on stage. You think you can do that?"

I pushed the air out of my lungs as my lips curled but remained parted. I opened the box only to see a bunch of envelops of different colors waiting for me inside and when I looked up, she was smiling wide, probably because of my reaction.

"That's... fuck, Liv." I let out, impressed. "That's a great idea and you know what? I'm gonna film myself opening every single one of them so you know I did it right before going on stage. I'll answer your messages in videos and send them to you."

Her face illuminated and she jumped slightly, making me laugh.

"How about we make a private instagram? We can both add things there? Share a password? And make it private, of course."

I made her an amused face and laughed. "Oh, look who loves social medias all of a sudden!"

She shrugged and I could swear her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. "It's just for you and me, no one else. I mean, think of all the things we can post."

"Pretty sure nudity is not tolerated." I joked, making her raise her nose up in a cute grimace.

"Don't worry, I'll send you nudes directly in your text messages."

I moved my eyebrows and smirked, bringing my mouth on hers. "Mm, I really hope so."

We kissed gently and slowly for a while, as if it could push back my departure, and when we stopped, she kept her lips against mine and sighed.

"I'm in love with you, Niall. I'll miss you."

"I'm in love with you too, petal. I'll miss you more."

We sighed and I held her hand as we pulled away and took a step back until I was almost out of reach. She moved her upper body forward to keep holding my hand but when her fingers slipped out of mine, I saw her tear up and sniff. It was so hard to see that I just grabbed my stuff and turned around, walking out until I heard her voice again.

"Niall! Wait!"

I turned to look at her and she was crying. It broke my heart and I swallowed hard.

"Say it again. Please say it one last time before you leave."

I felt my heart break in my chest and dropped all the bags, rushing back to her and cupping her face to kiss her hard and intensely. She answered the kiss and moaned in my mouth.

"I'm in love with you." I whispered. "I'm so fucking in love with you."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam #if you still read and comment and reblog thank you ily!<

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