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saetoru · 9 months

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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what if you’re someone i just want around (i’m falling again)

synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguru—that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him too

— word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)

— contents. post canon! au — fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still alive—just go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss y’all !! (scandalous i know :O)

— notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. i’m very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc it’s sfw but it’s ok if they don’t, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333

the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good.

you say nothing, but you know it’s the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguru’s case—you think it’s perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedly—although you deny it—a small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died once—surely he can’t die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left.

and then satoru wins.

you expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguru—you never stopped. but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. you’ll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to him—and then you wonder for a moment, unsure if it’s selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead.

whether that’s for your sake, or his, you’re not sure.

and yes, he’s let off alive, and sure, there’s no real punishment for all he’s done, but you know deep down he’s as chained and shackled as he’s ever been. he’s not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and it’s never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. he’s not to live in a place of his own until the higher up’s deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he can’t even step outside for a smoke unless you’re aware.

for a long time, he doesn’t speak much—can hardly muster a barely audible mornin’ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, you’re civil—maybe even friendly. you’re not so sure where you stand with him as of now.

it’s not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, it’s not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. it’s hard having him here—some days you’re angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think you’ve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didn’t exist in the first place.

he’s not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it.

“i made your favorite,” you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesn’t make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sad—even here, he’s not free.

“thanks,” he says quietly, “but i’m not hungry.”

“you said that last night, suguru,” you sigh, “and at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night before—”

“i’ll eat it later,” he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair.

it’s a lot shorter now. it’s you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. he’s almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru you’re used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, he’s a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his own—that much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared.

it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to health—it takes even longer for him to open his eyes.

you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on.

you’ve already grieved him once before. you’ve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and it’s under your mercy that you let him live—yet it’s under your cowardice that you keep him close.

“you have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,” you sigh, “you’re w—”

“weak?” he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. it’s unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before he’s reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. “is that what you wanted to say? that i’m weak?”

“suguru, you know that’s not how i meant—”

“you’re not wrong,” he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, “i suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldn’t even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?”

your throat is dry as you shrug, “i suppose not,” you whisper.

“ah,” he grins again, “but that doesn’t stop you from locking your door every night, does it?”

suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healed—you’re not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like it’s sore and stiff. he’s lost a lot of weight—part of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eating—save for the few bites you force into him. you never thought there’d be a day when you could say this—but the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for.

you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you don’t know what’s scarier—that suguru can still practically see yours, or that you’re unsure he even has one anymore.

“you tried coming in?” you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down.

“thought i’d check on you,” he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.

“is that what it really was?” you raise a brow, “or was i right to lock the door?”

you’re not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe it’s because you don’t trust him, or maybe it’s because you don’t want him near you just yet. you’re not sure. you’re not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe it’s not real—maybe it’s satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were.

but you don’t know how he still has the energy to try, and you don’t know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself.

you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. you’re sure he doesn’t want to be here as much as you don’t want him around—but you’re also sure he’s glad it’s here with you as much as you’re glad it’s with no one else.

“you tell me,” he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? “what do you think i was there for?”

“i think you should stay in your room, suguru,” you say carefully, “i bought a new bed just for that room.”

“how sweet of you,” he hums. he sips the tea before him—it’s cold by now, but it’s just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. “you must have been excited to have me.”

“hardly,” you mumble bitterly—you can’t help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you’ve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, you’ve always waited for him, haven’t you? but suguru doesn’t seem phased—he doesn’t even blink.

“then tell me, why am i here?” suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever.

i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i don’t.

“because satoru asked you to be,” is all you can say.

he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. “you’re right,” he hums, “that’s exactly why i’m here.”

it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leaves—it’s almost genuine, like he’s still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why.

————————————————

even despite telling yourself you don’t care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him you’re not scared of him. that you don’t fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you don’t care. he shouldn’t get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wants—you couldn’t bother to give it a second thought.

the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantly—and then you realize, it must be a nightmare.

you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like it’s second nature.

“you’re safe, suguru,” is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. it’s all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, “you’re safe,” over and over again.

as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as he’s two doors down, this part feels natural. it’s almost like you’re back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face.

except this time, he’s not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, he’s not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, it’s not the same suguru—and this time, it’s not jujutsu high.

it’s your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, “you’re safe,” while he catches his breath.

“but they’re not,” he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause.

and then you remember.

faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering what’d it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru.

it’s selfish—to hate two children because they are what you do not have.

but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okay—for his sake. and just for a moment, you’re selfless again.

“they’re not safe,” he mutters, making you sigh.

“they are,” you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantly—like it’s a response that’s natural to him. “they’re not suffering. not anymore.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.

“it helps me feel better,” you say softly, “‘s just how you learn to cope.”

it’s an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortality—it’s a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself.

“the jujutsu world is one of suffering,” he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close.

“every world is one of suffering, suguru, you can’t erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier you’ll find peace.”

you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness.

when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night.

————————————————

“get up,” you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleep—it’s now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans.

“the fuck was that for?” he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest.

it’s funny that he does that, in a way. it’s not as though you haven’t seen his chest…and then some too. it’s not like you haven’t torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room.

but somehow, even though he doesn’t need to cover his chest around you of all people, you’re glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that he’s aware you’re still technically strangers—no matter how well-versed you are in each other’s pasts. but you don’t ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry.

“we are going grocery shopping,” you say casually—as though it’s not something to make him raise a brow in shock.

“me?” he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. “aren’t i supposed to stay away from civilians?”

“yes, you,” you nod, pointing back at him, “and satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says you’re welcome, by the way.”

“tell him to go fuck off.”

“that’s ungrateful,” you say flatly, “his feelings will be hurt.”

“his feelings will find a way to cope,” suguru huffs. “i don’t want to be around…them,” he says bitterly.

you suppose it’s wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps he’s long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you can’t say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you can’t say you’re shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not.

he stays here and doesn’t put up a fight to leave even though he can now that he’s healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yours—like he’s been waiting for you even though he doesn’t need to. you suppose you can see he’s changed in the way he doesn’t scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if you’re lucky, you’ll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen.

you suppose this suguru is a step closer to your suguru every day he spends with you, but you don’t know if any suguru is what you need right now. perhaps that name should’ve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it should’ve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversary—when satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you don’t notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesn’t catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast.

but suguru is here now. whether it’s as geto, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether it’s as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether it’s as geto suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between.

so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, “i’m gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..”

“no thanks. don’t wanna,” suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if you’ve just played your ace.

“too bad,” you sing before swinging the door shut.

he’s at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once you’re done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile.

“let’s go,” you hum.

“after you,” he mutters.

—

he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinks—in fact, there are lots of things he doesn’t realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart.

suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoru’s hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the back—and then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. it’s him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it.

it’s a happy memory—and it’s gone all too soon.

as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappeared—instead, it’s you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name.

“suguru? hey, hello? are you with me?”

he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, “yeah, i’m fine. just thinking,” he mumbles.

for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops you—grabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away.

“what are you—”

“get in,” he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment.

“what?”

“just get in,” he sighs, “you love it when you get to sit in the cart.”

“i’m not a teenager anymore—”

“get in, will you?” he groans, “always so damn difficult.”

“hey,” you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, “that’s rude.” it’s cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you don’t think you’ve really seen in years.

“humor me,” he hums, “just get in, okay?”

so you do.

with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always did—the one that isn’t actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because it’s him.

“we need candy,” you murmur, “that’s the last thing on the list.”

“okay. what kind?” he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.

“doesn’t matter, satoru eats anything as long as it’s sweet. he’s more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.”

“you buy candy for satoru?” he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you.

“he comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when he’s hungry.”

suguru feels something he hasn’t felt since he was a teenager. jealousy—specifically of satoru.

suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and it’s definitely not himself. for the longest time, he’s okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoru—until he’s not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head he’s always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had.

something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps he’d be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood.

but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bag—this time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him.

“i haven’t bought this one in years,” you admit, “i almost forget how it tastes.”

“me too,” he says quietly.

“well,” you hum, “we’ll have to have some when we’re home.”

home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.

“yeah,” he chuckles, “we—”

“daddy, look! candy!” suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind.

his breath hitches.

she’s small, the girl—she has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanako’s hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror.

there’s another girl in the man’s arms—dark hair on her head as she curls into her father’s chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. she’s shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms.

perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differently—he’d be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, he’d never redo nanako and mimiko differently. he’d never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. he’d never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. he’d never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake him—even though he’d awoken as soon as the door to his room opened.

because he realized that night that yeah, maybe he’d made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe he’d made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didn’t. he’s never been completely sure—just that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.

suguru wouldn’t change anything about nanako and mimiko—except maybe the fact that they aren’t here, gone because of him.

“suguru?” you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance.

he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just his—that it’s a truth he has to come face to face with.

but it’s hard. it’s hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does not—it’s hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that he’s been right all along—that non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they don’t have to.

but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention.

“your mother used to love those,” he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence.

every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them.

“let’s go, suguru,” you whisper, “we have everything we came for.”

“yeah,” he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesn’t crack, “let’s go.”

suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, he’s unsure. unsure whether he’s grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.

“before you even think about hiding away in your room,” you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, “you have to help with putting away the groceries.”

“sure,” he says smoothly. he grabs all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you don’t need him to take the heavier ones, that you’re fine and can handle them like you’ve always handled them.

but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.

————————————————

satoru likes to come and visit—you’ve started a routine movie night every week (unless he’s away, of course.) it’s fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because he’s a headache like that—always makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to.

you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down.

but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and you’re too busy enjoying his company to care—although you’ll never admit it.

satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you don’t think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughing off every concern until you can’t help but not take them seriously yourself.

it’s hard to remember that sometimes you didn’t just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?

well…satoru lost what you think might’ve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life.

it’s hard to remember that satoru lost his best friend—the only best friend he’s ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)—because he’s so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because it’s only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you don’t really need as much space as him on because your legs aren’t as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).

it’s hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because he’s so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you don’t care to think about anyone else’s for a while. just a short while. just until he’s yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the world’s best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in.

and then he’s off. and it’s empty again. and just like that, you’re reminded of why he was there in the first place—to fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you.

it’s gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like you’re just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldn’t he smile? because you could—god, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin.

geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth you’re searching for.

so why couldn’t you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you?

it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to you—geto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.

and for that, you can never forgive him, you don’t think.

“you tryin’ to go bug-eyed?” he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.

“no,” you huff, “i’m just thinking.”

“about…?”

“satoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.”

“maybe he’s sick of you,” he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, “there’s someone here to keep you company now so he’s probably taken his opportunity to run.”

“you’re hardly company,” you scoff, “freeloader.”

“hey,” he defends, shrugging as if it’s not his fault. you suppose it’s not. “i didn’t ask to be rescued. you can’t be high and mighty and petty. ‘s not how that works.”

“says who? you don’t make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.”

“complexity,” he nods, “i like it.”

“i’m not as complicated as you might think,” you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isn’t making it—which, he told you as much, but he’s strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. “as long as you don’t skip movie nights with me, i’m pretty simple to keep appeased.”

“alright,” he props his feet up on the coffee table—seriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. “let’s have a movie night.”

“what?” you blink.

“movie night,” he repeats, “you said you don’t like skipping movie night—”

“well, i meant i don’t like satoru skipping movie—”

“well, it was me before satoru, wasn’t it?” he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutral—like he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it.

but that only means there is an emotion, isn’t there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you don’t need him to continue living your life?

good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet them—he never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him.

and now he’s back—he has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didn’t let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parent’s new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and it’s suguru’s fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal.

ex-best friend? half best friend? you don’t even know—do they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you don’t know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score.

he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous.

“alright,” you sigh, “let's bring back movie night. don’t fall asleep.”

“i get plenty of sleep nowadays,” he hums, “i have more than enough free time for that now.”

“how lucky of you,” you snort.

—

picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standards—satoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good.

so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off.

“seriously?” he raises a brow, “this is your pick?”

“yes,” you grin, “i like these movies.”

“of all movies—”

“my house, my rules,” you grin cheekily, “you can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.”

“wow,” he deadpans, “stooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.”

“oh suguru,” you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, “you don’t know me at all.”

all things considered, you think it’s a rather enjoyable experience. it’s not as fun without satoru’s stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there too—although his are not meant to be funny. but that’s the appeal of it, you think.

“she should have picked gale,” he mumbles. you raise a brow.

“peeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?”

“so was gale,” he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.

“gale killed her sister,” you point out, “and a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.”

“gale did what he had to do,” suguru mumbles.

suddenly, it doesn’t really feel like you’re discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickening—the air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it.

you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug.

“in the end he didn’t get katniss, did he?”

suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed.

“guess not,” he says quietly, “guess that’s the one regret he has, huh?”

you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you can’t quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru could’ve always gotten you—in fact, he had you.

it’s not fair. nothing is, but you can’t help but dwell on it.

“i’m going to bed. it’s late,” you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place.

in the end, you don’t lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. he’s still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.

it hits you one night that maybe he still has you—maybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.

————————————————

suguru is good at cleaning while you’re away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when you’re home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look.

“stop getting crumbs on the floor,” he mumbles, “i just vacuumed.”

“you make a good malewife,” you giggle, “vacuuming and everything. how cute.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbles, sitting down on the couch.

“but you missed a spot,” you point to the crumbs you’ve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. “failwife.”

“i’m going to divorce you and take everything,” he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.

“you don’t have to, you know,” you murmur, “clean, i mean. i can handle it.”

“i think i should carry my weight around here,” he shrugs, “since you are basically sugar babying me around for now.”

“dangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,” you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes.

sometimes it’s nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, he’s not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. he’s always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. it’s comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small amount of bitterness that he’s still able to make you feel like this.

“by the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,” he says casually, “i need to buy stuff for my hair. it’s growing.”

“you’ll finally see the sun just for your hair?” you gasp, “who knew that’s all it’d take?”

despite the playfulness in your words, there’s still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. he’s finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room.

suguru is returning to life, his life, and you can’t help but wonder where that leaves room for you.

“my hair is my charm,” he reasons, “wouldn’t you agree?”

there’s a smirk on his lips when he asks—it’s like he’s seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook.

suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. he’s always been handsome—he’s always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then he’d smile, give you that tender look of his as he’d chuckle, and you’d be hopeless again.

he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. it’s cruel, the way the universe works. it’s like there’s a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.

“i cut your hair off once, i can do it again,” you huff. he laughs, it’s good-natured and kind.

“i was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,” he says, “i didn’t look like me.”

“you looked good,” you say quietly, “i think you’d make anything work, to be honest.”

“yeah?” he grins, “any requests? i might consider it if it’s you.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, “how about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.”

“i could charm you without the hair still, couldn’t i?” he winks.

it’s unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything he’s ever committed, all the atrocities he’s caused. the way he flirts with you feels like you’re his again. the way he’s aged and changed feels like you’re meeting someone new. you don’t understand how suguru is so natural with that—with seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.

deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. he’s making the most of what he can. he can’t die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he can’t go back to the way things used to be, whether that’s his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly can’t start over. so he’s making do with what he has—which is very little in reality.

it’s you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you can’t hope to treat him with. maybe it’s because suguru was actually able to move on after he left.

it’s the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his life—even if it could hardly be considered good.

you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything you’ve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence.

it’s easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away.

“don’t do that,” you sigh, making him frown.

“do what?”

“you know what, suguru,” you pinch your nose in frustration, “stop acting like things are normal.”

“things are definitely not normal,” he snorts bitterly, “i think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.”

“then why are you acting like…” you trail off, unsure.

“like what?” he raises a brow.

“like we never changed,” you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation.

he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.

“well, of course we changed,” he mumbles in confusion, “i know that—”

you shouldn’t have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normal—he’s trying to be civil, and you’re just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.

of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesn’t want what you think he does. it’s been years and suguru has moved on—he had already moved on all those years ago, and you’re the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too.

you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes.

“right, of course you do,” you nod, “i don’t know why i said that. just ignore me, i’ll be going to my room now. i have…things to do, so i’ll be—”

“hang on,” he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, “i don’t mean it like that,” he says gently.

fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too.

“you can let go, suguru,” you pull at your wrist, “forget what i said, i wasn’t thinking—”

“i still feel the same,” he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, “if that’s what you mean. i never stopped.”

never stopped—that’s almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?

“that does not help even a little,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “that makes this so much worse, do you see that?”

“i know,” he sighs, “i’m sor—”

“don’t say you’re sorry,” you grit your teeth, “we both know you’re not.”

“maybe not,” he admits, “i had to try. and that meant leaving—i’m sorry that’s not what you wanted.”

“it’s not!” you turn around, pulling your arm out of his grasp—suguru, for what it’s worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. “of course i didn’t want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.”

“i know—”

“and now you’re back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?”

“it’s not,” he agrees. he’s calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? “nothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.”

“you ruined my life,” you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.

“i guess i can take the blame for that,” he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very bad—but it’s also the best thing ever.

being close to suguru feels like the sun’s heat tearing through your skin—it’s warm. it’s pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive.

“why did you come back?” you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.

“i don’t know,” he hums, “i didn’t really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?”

you look at him at that—tilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isn’t as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but he’s still suguru—and you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.

“you make my life unreasonably difficult,” you mutter.

he hums, smiling. “can i?” he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wants—but fuck, you can’t let him have it so easy.

“can you what?” you ask, raising a brow slowly.

“are you really gonna make me say it?” he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. it’s cute, the way he looks longingly at your lips—it’s so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru.

“yes,” you say, “yes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. you…you left me. i wasn’t enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,” your voice wavers just a little.

it shakes for the lost time. for the moments you’ll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past that’s tainted. time is cruel like that. but that’s the beauty of it all—the fragility. it’s like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled.

“can i kiss you?” he asks desperately, “please?”

“kissing me is not a temporary thing,” you shake your head, “not anymore. it’s for good. only for good.”

“i want to kiss you for good,” he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. you’re close. you’re too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but it’s not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. “i won’t stop this time,” he promises.

“you better not,” you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving him—and maybe that’s what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. “if you fucking leave me again, you’re dead to me. i don’t care how many times you come back to life. you’re dead to me.”

“okay,” he agrees through a shaky chuckle, “i suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?”

“yeah,” you breathe.

he kisses you—years too late, he kisses you. it feels like you’re teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you don’t understand what this sensation is anymore. it’s new. it’s old. it’s perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leave—you don’t know if you believe him, but you’re going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough.

you’re enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink.

finally, for once, you’re enough.

“i love you,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like he’s offering you the air from his lungs, “i never stopped. i promise.”

“you don’t deserve to hear it from me,” you murmur back, panting against his lips, “not yet.”

“fair enough,” he chuckles, “you sure know how to leave a guy waiting.”

“i learned from the best,” you shoot back.

he grins—suguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, it’s painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. there’s always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering.

maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much.

in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.

“why am i here?” he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum.

“because i need you here. will you stay?”

“yes,” he murmurs, “i think i’ll stay.”

hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3

also the fic banner is …. not the greatest. just ignore it ok

#teepods.writings #fics.#geto x reader #geto x you #geto fluff #geto angst #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk angst #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #geto suguru angst #geto suguru fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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jazzyoranges · 7 months

Text

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Tara Carpenter x fem!reader (r is also implied to be more masculine-leaning)

Summary: Tara rides you 🤷‍♀️ no Ghostface au

Words: 3.5k

A/n: the card game they play is called “do or drink” so if you don’t understand the rules here, search it up and it’ll probably make more sense

Warnings: G!P reader, explicit sex, unprotected sex (you pull out dw), blowjob, face fucking, Tara lowkey has a size kink, R has a praise kink lol, service top!R, power bottom!T (i think? idk positions that well)

MINORS DNI!!

Tara didn’t really feel like being at this party. Unfortunately for her, she was a victim of peer pressure by Mindy. The twin said something about “getting laid” and how Tara needed to “get some”, but in all honesty, she wasn’t actually listening

The party she was at was cowboy/southern-themed, and Tara opted to wear some plaid and a white crop top. Chad went fully cowboy, through. Tara said he looked like a dork, but his eyes were set on looking like someone from Red Dead Redemption. The brunette didn’t know how he did it, but Chad didn’t even look half bad. Tara swears he has a superpower at looking stupid and not stupid at the same time

Mindy on the other hand, did the least. The twin adorned a black shirt and a brown leather jacket with southern-ish accessories

Chad didn’t bother knocking or ringing the bell over the loud music, and he let himself, Mindy, and Tara into the house. There was a familiar smell in the house. Weed and alcohol absolutely flamed her nostrils, and she scrunched up her nose. When Tara’s eyes landed on you, she swore you were a goddess straight from Texas heaven

“Mindy.”

“I see her, Tara”

“Mindy.”

“No straight woman wears a wife beater. You’re in the clear”

In Tara’s favor, Chad yelled your name and waved you over

“Mindy, Tara, this is Y/N! She coached me back in Woodsboro. She’s also from Texas, so i invited her to show up all the fake cowboys like me” The football player slung an arm around your shoulder, and you held out your hand for the two girls to shake

“Nice to meet you two” Your accent was practically nonexistent, but certain words have you away. When your hand meets Tara’s, yours engulfs hers and she swears she can feel her heart beating in her throat

“Chad speaks well of y’all”

“Really? I’m surprised” Mindy laughs, but Tara is too busy sweating over you to engage in conversation

“I’m gonna introduce Y/N to the rest of our friend group, i’ll see you two around!”

“Have a good night, you two” You tip your hat with a wink, and follow after Chad

“So, wanna explain?” Mindy sends a knowing glance at Tara, a small smirk on her face

“Absolutely not.” The shorter girl makes her way into the kitchen, pouring herself a solo cup of whatever alcohol she can find. Tara chooses to ignore the burning sensation down her throat

“Nope, you’re going to talk right now. I didn’t even know you were into women like her”

“Neither did i, that’s the problem” Tara groans, covering her face with her hands

“What’s the plan?”

“There is no plan, Mindy. I don’t even know how to get close to her…” Eros or Aphrodite must’ve been listening real close because not a second later, she sees you being dragged around by Chad, rounding up a few people to play a drinking card game

“Tara! Mindy! Play drinking games with us? Ethan, Quinn, Y/N, Amber, Wes, Anika, Liv, a few other people and i are playing”

Mindy nods, and they follow you two to the living room, where all the aforementioned people were sitting. Some on the couch and some on the floor. You took your spot on the floor with Chad on your left, and Quinn on your right on the couch.

Chad clears his throat, and all eyes are on him. “Alright! Rules are simple. Everyone has to draw a white card, and do what it says. If you get a white card that says ‘Draw’, you have to get a black card and either do what it says, or drink however much it tells you. Make sense?”

The group nods, and small discussions are made between people. Tara is seated between Mindy, who’s talking to Anika, and Ethan, who’s talking to Chad

“Since i’m the one that wanted to play, i will graciously go first” Chad pulls his white card, and his face lights up. “War! Challenge another player to an arm wrestle. The loser must drink”

The twin gets up, and he points straight at your forehead. “Y/N! This cowboy challenges you in a duel of our arms!”

“How could i say no. I agree to your challenge, my good sir” You shake hands, and make your way to the coffee table in the middle of the room. Tara is on your right, and you give her a perfect view of your bicep

“You look nervous, Chad. Are you afraid?”

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Therefore, the student always wins” he smiles at you, and your competitive side starts to bubble up

“When i win, i’ll make sure to spoon feed you your own words” readjusting your grip on Chad’s hand, Ethan makes his way over to be the referee

“Three…”

Tara notices your concentrated face, and how you bite your lip in anticipation

“Two…”

You adjust your grip once again, and Tara wonders what else your hands can do

“One!” Ethan lets go of yours and Chad’s attached hands, and they both stay in place. Tara can tell you two were pretty evenly matched

“C’mon, Y/N! Gag him!” Mindy cheers for you

“Don’t listen to her, babe. You got this!” Liv cheers for Chad

“Show him up, Y/N! You’ve got it” Tara cheers with a smile on her face, and you momentarily stop pushing before you catch yourself

“What’s the matter, Y/N? Losing already?”

“We’ll see” When you hear Tara say your name again, a new urge to win rushes through your body. In one swift motion, Chad’s hand meets the table, and those who were supporting you cheer

“What did you say about the student always winning?” You say with a wide grin on your face, and you kiss your arm in a show of ego

“That was a fluke! I want a rematch!” The twin says playfully

“Like you wouldn’t just lose again”

“Whatever, it’s your turn to draw”

You pick up a card, and you laugh to yourself. “Vote! On the count of three, everyone points to the person they think has had sex in the most interesting spot. The player with the most votes must confess their sex spot and take a drink”

“Alright! Three, two, one!” You count down, and mostly everyone is mostly pointing at Quinn

“Geez, what do you guys think of me?” She takes a sip of her drink. “And my most interesting spot was under the bleachers during his football practice”

This goes on until it’s Tara’s turn. Amber got an “All brunettes must drink” card, Anika got to be Simon in Simon Says (which Tara had to drink for losing first), and Mindy drew a card that made all of the single people drink. Luckily for Tara, you drank when Mindy pulled her card

“Your turn, Tara! What’ll you get?” Chad quickly made himself the keeper of cards, sitting in the middle as you sat on the couch in his place. Tara leans over, and she takes a card from Chad. Revealing her card, she see’s it says to draw

“Our very first ‘Draw’ card! I wonder what it’ll be” Chad grins, and Tara pulls a black card from the deck

“Spin a bottle. Whoever it lands on, sit on their lap for the next 2 rounds or both must drink four times”

Oohs are exchanged throughout the group, and Tara rolls her eyes in embarrassment. Less than a second later, Chad hands Tara an empty beer bottle. The twin takes his spot somewhere in the circle, and the brunette spins the bottle

“I’ll pray it lands on her” Mindy playfully nudges her shoulder, and Tara blushes. Neither of you knew it, but both you and the brunette hoped the bottle ended up pointing at you. It went around once, twice, three times

Slowly passing by the person to your right, the bottle points straight at you and you swear time stops for a second. Tara meets your eyes, and you swear she’s blushing when Mindy shoves her towards you

Tara awkwardly sits on your lap, moving to find a comfortable spot

You place a reassuring hand on her hip. “You know you don’t have to do this, right? If you’re uncomfortable, nobody is gonna judge you” Tara can feel your hand leave her side, and the smaller girl has to physically stop herself from letting out a whine of frustration

“I’m not uncomfortable. I just… need to adjust.” The brunette not-so-accidentally grinds her hips against yours, and she swears she hears you let out a tiny groan

It’s Wes’ turn next, but Tara can’t focus as she gropes around the couch for your hands. The alcohol in her system takes over when she leans back into you, and makes you wrap your arms around her torso. You happily oblige

“You having a good night, so far?”

Tara decides to be bold. “It’s definitely better in your lap”

Despite your semi-hard cock uncomfortably rubbing against your jeans, you try your best to learn more about Tara. Asking how her day was, what she’s majoring in, if she has any family; all while the brunette causes more friction by slowly rubbing her ass on your crotch. You have to suppress many moans as she not-so-casually grinds on you

Tara learns that you used to work on a family farm in Texas, but moved to California for college. You told her about the animals, the pumpkin patches, and looking up at the stars with your siblings

Not even noticing it’s your turn again, Chad has to remind you to draw a card. You instantly miss Tara’s heat when she crawls off your lap so you can draw a card. The game goes on for the next hour or so, and you can barely remember what you had to do after all the drinks you’ve had

You end up having to quit the game halfway through when you refuse to send a nude photo of yourself to a random number or take a drink. Tara’s card no longer applies very early on, but she actively decides to sit in your lap for the rest of the game

Amber kicks out the rest of the party-goers around 1 am, and you’ve been tasked to drive Tara and Mindy home. Somehow you’re the least drunk. Since Chad was their ride and he’s off somewhere making out with Liv, you so graciously offered to drive them home.

The ride to Mindy’s house was quiet, but it was a comfortable quiet. You tapped on the steering wheel to the soft music, Mindy was half asleep, and Tara was discreetly trying to look at you from the passenger seat. You dropped Mindy off at her place, and now you were on your way to Tara’s house. The moonlight was hitting your eyes in the right way, causing them to sparkle the tiniest bit Tara had a little staring problem

“Do i have something on my face?”

“Do you want to stay over at my place?” The brunette blurts out, instantly regretting her words. “I mean- uh, if you want…”

“Sure, i’d like to stay over. I’m pretty sure i have some extra clothes in here, anyway. Any scary dogs i should beware of?”

“Does my sister count?”

“Only if she bites” This earns a laugh from Tara, and you mentally pat yourself on the back

“Definitely beware of her. She’s staying at her boyfriends place tonight, so you’re good”

“Noted” You pull into the Carpenters driveway, and both of you get out. Grabbing an extra hoodie, shirt, and shorts, you follow Tara into her house

“Bathroom is on the left. Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, you can pick”

“You’re gonna wish you never said that. Let’s watch The Babadook”

“Seriously? Dude, i used to jump like six feet in the air when the floor boards creaked in the barn”

“You’ll live” Rolling your eyes at her words, you made your way to her bathroom to change. You made sure to freshen up, even though you two were just watching a movie. The smell of buttered popcorn filled your lungs and you could faintly hear the popping kernels

When you leave her bathroom, Tara’s already changed into something more comfortable

“Do we have to watch something scary? Can’t we watch a sitcom or something?”

“Listen, you let me decide but we don’t have to if you don’t wanna” Tara finds her seat on the couch, your shoulders touching when she sits down the bowl of popcorn between you two

“But i will think you’re a pussy”

“The Babadook it is” You click play on the remote, and Tara lays her head on your shoulder. She barely pays attention to the movie, considering she’s seen it far too many times. Instead, the brunette opts to watch you and all of your reactions. You’ve raised the blanket up under your nose and leaned into Tara about 20 times, and the movie is just about halfway through

Every now and again you’d flinch in anticipation, and Tara would rub your thigh in support. You don’t know if your heart is beating due to the movie, or due to Tara practically being on top of you for the second time this night

When the movie ends and the credits roll, you can only stare at the black screen and Tara lets out a laugh

“So, what do you think?”

“I don’t think i’ll be able to sleep tonight, Tara”

“You’ll be okay” The brunette pats your cheek

“Can we watch something lighter? Like My Little Pony?”

“Of course you were a horse girl”

“Actually i was an Equestria Girls girl, thank you” You huff

“Tomato, potato, they were all ponies” Tara rolls her eyes, and smiles “I think i have another horror movie you’ll like. Well, it’s technically a trilogy”

“Absolutely not! I’d like to be able to close my eyes tonight and not hallucinate a monster leaning over me”

“There’s a scene where two girls kiss”

“…Fine.”

An hour in, the two main girls are making out in their bras, and you’re staring quite intensely at the scene. Something in the room shifts, and all of a sudden you start to feel hotter. Tara goes from rubbing your thigh to slowly dragging her hand to your crotch, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Your breath hitches when she starts to rub your clothed cock

“A-Are we about to do the thing?” You say unsure, but the brunette is already pulling you off the couch and leading you to her room

Before you know what’s happening, Tara is guiding you into her bedroom and pushing you up against a wall. Her kisses are hungry and fast, wanting to taste every part of you. When she starts to fiddle with your shorts, you let out a small laugh at how she huffs in frustration

“Take it off, already.”

“Someone’s needy” You tease

“I’ve been eye fucking you all night. I’m not waiting any longer. I had to drag you here myself”

“I didn’t know if i was reading your signals wrong…” You mumble, and Tara hates how adorable you look. God why were you cute and hot at the same time

“I was grinding on you the entirety of those two rounds at the party”

“You said you were adjusting! I thought my lap was uncomfortable!”

“I hate how the oblivious ones are always the hottest.” Tara finally manages to pull down your shorts through shaky hands, and she feels her mouth water when she sees the small tent in your underwear

“Spider-man boxers?” the shorter girl quirks an eyebrow at you

“I didn’t think i’d have sex tonight” You suck in a breath when Tara starts to rub your cock through your boxers

“Really? You didn’t think you’d get laid tonight looking like this” Tara motions to your entire body with her non-busy hand. “Maybe i should show you how pretty you are. Do you want that, baby?” The brunette squeezes your cock; and you nod, not trusting your voice to do anything but moan

As she gets on her knees, Tara pulls down your boxers just enough to reveal your hardened dick

“Jesus, you’re big…” The brunette says to herself, but you can feel your ego boost at her words. Tara starts to lick the veins on your shaft, and you can feel her massaging your balls. Your cock is drooling pre-cum when Tara kisses your tip, and you let out a breathy moan

“Please, Tara…”

“Tell me what you want, baby”

“Please let me fuck your mouth”

“Let me adjust to your size first. I’ll let you know when you can start, does that sound good?”

“A-Anything you want”

“You’re cute.” Tara kisses your tip again before taking it into her mouth, eliciting a moan from your throat. She swirls her tongue in a way that drives your crazy. Her hands make their way around your thighs, and Tara squeezes your ass as she takes half your cock into her mouth. The brunette squeezes your balls and you hear her gag as her nose meets your lower abdomen. The sight of Tara deepthroating your cock almost makes you cum

“Fuck.” You breathe out. You try backing away to give Tara a little room to breathe but she just ends up making you thrust into her mouth, making her gag. You pull her face away from your cock not wanting her to choke, and the shorter girl wipes a little drool off her chin

“Why’d you do that?” Tara asks, a little annoyed

“I didn’t want you to run out of breath. Your eyes were watering”

“It’s nice how much you care about me. I can assure you i can handle your cock, baby. It helps you taste good”

“If it ever gets too much or becomes uncomfortable, squeeze my hand” You tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and Tara’s heart flutters at how soft you’re being despite the situation

“I promise i’ll let you know if it starts to become too much, baby” The brunette kisses your tip once again and dives right back into sucking your dick. When you look down and she gives you a small nod, your hands tangle in her hair. You start off with small thrusts, slowly going faster as Tara gets used to your size

“F-Fuck you’re amazing” Your balls slap against her chin, and Tara almost cums at how dirty it feels having you fuck her throat like a fleshlight

“Shit, i’m gonna cum, Tara…” You moan, and the brunette gives you a pleading look. You can only assume it means ‘Please cum down my throat’, so that’s exactly what you do. You release your load in her mouth with a groan, and Tara happily swallows all of it down. When she pulls away from your cock, you use your thumb to wipe away the leftover cum on her chin. Tara takes your thumb in her mouth, and licks away the rest of your semen

She gets off her knees, and gets up to pull you into another searing kiss. You can taste yourself on her tongue, and you moan into her mouth at the flavor

“Jesus, you’re still hard?”

“I have the stamina of a stallion” You shrug, feigning a big ego

“Oh, yeah? How about i ride you and we’ll see if you can handle it”

“You have such a beautiful way with words”

“I’d be mad about the teasing of you weren’t cute. Hurry up and get naked, already”

“Yes ma’am” Barely a second passes before Tara’s lips are on yours. In a flurry of heat, both of your clothes end up strewn about her bedroom. Tara pushes you onto her bed. She straddles your lap and kisses you with a new wave of confidence and fervor. When the brunette urges you to lay back, you have to actively keep your jaw closed at the sight of Tara. Unfortunately for you, she notices your staring

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer”

“Can i really?”

“Mm… maybe next time”

Your face lights up. “Next time?”

“After you take me on a date first. We can talk about the specifics later” Tara softly kisses the bridge of your nose, making you close your eyes and blush

“Right now, i want you in me.” The brunette on top of you lines up your tip with her pussy, slowly sinking down your shaft

“Fuck,” Tara takes the rest of your cock in her, and you massage her hips when you can feel her squeezing around you “You feel so good, baby”

Noticing how you moan at her praise, Tara takes note of this. She starts to move up and down, and the feeling of her around you earns a whimper from your throat. Moans are exchanged as Tara starts to ride you faster, constantly increasing her pace

“I’m close, Tar” You breathe out, letting her nickname slip through your lips

“Fuck i am too, baby. You’re so big” Her words are reinforced as she starts to tighten around your cock, and you have to use all your strength to pull out. You ejaculate your cum all over your stomach, and so does Tara. When you both come down from your high, the brunette notices how you’re still somehow hard

“Round two?”

—

A/n pt.2: cookie if you can guess the second movie they watch

#jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega #tara carpenter #chad meeks martin #mindy meeks martin #sam carpenter #scream #anika kayoko #scream 6 #amber freeman #quinn bailey #ethan landry

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icyg4l · 1 month

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Pick-A-Girl Group: What Purpose Do the Women In Your Life Serve?

Continuing on with my Women’s History Month series, I am going to do a reading on how the women in your life feel about you and the effect of these feelings. I am going to be using the True Heart Tarot Deck and the Archetype Oracle Deck. These readings are supposed to uplift, relate to and inspire women so I hope they serve their purpose. I Without further ado, please pick your pile. 🫶

***Disclaimer: Regardless of your gender identity, the women that are in your life deserve to be celebrated as long as they have pure intentions. Much love. 🩷

Left-to-Right (1-4):

Pile One: If you resonate with the image of FLO, then you deserve the whole fucking world. Pile One, the women in your life absolutely adore you. You probably resonate with the song’s theme: recognizing beauty in yourself when everyone is against you, specifically as a black woman. You have come such a long way. The women that are currently in your life have seen you make mistakes and allowed you to do so. They recognize your evolution. A lot of you have a best friend who you’ve been friends with for a long time and she is so proud of you. She is proud of the person that you have become. This pile has some cheerleaders around them. I feel like the women in your life are meant to take inspiration from what you are going through right now. I think that you may be going through your redemption arc.You’re forgiving yourself for a lot of things that you’ve done in the past. The women in your life see that and are following suit. After all, living life does mean not being a robot. These women who are around you are all ears, very receptive to what it is that you are doing with your life. You’re like their Oprah, lol. If you have a story to tell, share it with her. She may need to hear it. I channeled the show: Beyond Scared Straight; specifically the parts where the prisoners talk to the kids about their life stories and the reasoning for why they should not end up in jail. I feel like you could be someone’s mentor, whether they’re younger or the same age as you, perhaps even older. You are someone’s Reesa Teesa too, lol. I get the feeling that you need to be talking about yourself, Pile One. There is an audience full of women who are willing to hear you out and listen. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards:

God: Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others/Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people

Mother: Nurturance, patience, unconditional love. Joy in giving birth to life/Smothering or abandoning children. Instilling guilt in children for becoming independent.

Poet: Expresses soul insights in symbolic language/Turns a lyric gift to negative or destructive effect.

Cards Used: 2 of Swords, 4 of Discs, 9 of Cups, Prince of Wands (RX), King of Discs, Four of Cups, Temperance.

Pile Two: If you resonate with the photo of Destiny’s Child, you got some ride or dies around you for real. I think that you’ve been through hell and back with the women in your life and they do not play about you. I think the women in your life want you to know that you are so worth it. I’m not going to lie Pile Two, it sounds like you’re in a toxic love situation and your girls want you out of it. Your friends, cousin or little sister could have told you that you need to exit stage left multiple times. They absolutely believe you deserve better. Hypothetically speaking, If y’all fell out today and an emergency happened tomorrow, they would be on the way to the hospital. I feel like family is so important to you. They feel like you’ve forgot about them but I don’t think that you have. Circumstances make it difficult for you all to see eye-to-eye. The women in your life want you to know that you are not alone. They will forever be there for you no matter what, even if you have lost your damn mind. These challenging times will make the bond between you and these women stronger. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards:

Artist: Expressing a dimension of life that is beyond the five senses. Inspiring others to see life symbolically / Using talent as an excuse to mistreat others. Posing as the Starving Artist to elicit pity.

God: Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others / Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people

Goddess: The feminine expressed through wisdom. Nature, life force, and sensuality / Exploitation of the female nature and form

Cards Used: Ace of Discs, 9 of Swords, Princess of Cups (RX), Prince of Discs, The Hierophant, Princess of Discs, 4 of Cups (RX), The Devil (RX), 10 of Cups.

Pile Three: If you resonate with the photo of TWICE, you got the grandmother spirit around you. Did you grow up in the church? Or at least with a god-fearing grandmother? I feel like the women in your life hate to see you unhappy and this is what you’re feeling right now. I think that you may be uninspired/unfulfilled with what life is giving you right now. It’s not an uncommon feeling. But smiling can make all the difference. The women in your life want to see you smile, make you smile and laugh. They want to be there for you like how your grandmother was. No one will ever replace Granny but her presence is always there. You may be questioning God/your higher powers because of something that deeply affected you. But the women around you want you to not feel ashamed or want you to feel like they are judging you. They have been in the same predicament. They only want to see you get better. They hate to see you like this. It may be hard to do this but look at the glass half full, rather than half empty. They want you to get back to yourself, the version of you that isn’t defeated. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards:

Child: Nature: Friendships with animals. Communication with nature spirits / Tendency to abuse animals, people and the environment.

Destroyer: Releasing what is potentially destructive. Preparing for new life / Intoxication with destructive power. Destroying others’ dreams or potential.

Child: Magical: Seeing the potential for sacred beauty in all things. The belief that everything is possible / Pessimism, depression and disbelief in miracles. Believing that energy and action are not required for growth.

Cards Used: The Devil, Princess of Cups, The Star, Judgment, The Moon, Temperance, Seven of Swords.

Pile Four: And lastly, if you resonated with the photo of the Spice Girls, you seem very sensual. Are you a SWer? Do you attend pole dancing classes for fun? Do you know someone who does either of these things? I feel like the women in your life appreciate how physical you are. You’re probably an artist and you're sensitive about your shit too. The women in your life feel as though you have a lot of talents. You’re very multifaceted and they love to brag about it, especially the older women. You could been the cousin who had to show off the latest dance move. So as a result, you became the leader of the pack. You can be naturally nurturing but it can drain you. The women around you feel like you need to put up some boundaries so that you can still worry about you. They respect your quality of being a giver, but do you even respect yours-[GUNSHOT]. There is a woman that you are close to that admires a quality that you hate. She compliments it any chance she can get because she wants to uplift you. I feel like people always try to touch you, whether it’s your hair, your arms, or even your butt. The women around you could immediately shut it down or call them out or defend it. They want to protect your innocence. Even though you are grown, you have that ingenue within you. They know how you can get (especially while under the influence) so they refuse to let you get that way. When I pulled from my oracle deck, I got the following cards:

Servant: Delight in serving others with a free and loving heart / Using the lack of money as an excuse not to move forward with life

Bully: Highlights your tendency to intimidate others. Helps you confront the inner fears that bully you / Conceals deep fears behind verbal or physical abuse.

Hedonist: Inspires creative energy to embrace the good things in life. Celebrates the beauty in yourself / Pursues pleasure to the detriment of health. Indulges at the expense of others.

Cards Used: The Star, The Lovers, Judgment, The Emperor, 7 of Cups, 10 of Swords, Ace of Cups, The Moon, 8 of Cups (RX).

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vashtijoy · 1 year

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on forgiveness: best girl haru okumura

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT how most people’s idea of Haru (besides her being axe crazy or some shit) begins and ends with the first half of this line to Akechi. And also babble about how everyone reacts in the engine room for a bit:

Just to be clear here: Akechi murders Haru’s father. Not only that, he murders him after his change of heart, at the point he has a chance to turn around and do better and stop being, y’know, kind of a tremendous asshole. Would it have worked? Haru will never know. Akechi stole that from her.

However. Haru is also not a tremendous asshole. I know, I know, y’all want her to go crazy ape batshit with vengeance and her axe. However, Haru doesn’t believe in vengeance (that’s Akechi’s gig, and maybe Ann’s). She does believe in redemption and giving people chances, and she (besides Joker, who like, doesn’t have lines) is the Phantom Thief who embodies this most in regard to Akechi.

so let’s take a look

Let’s start with the second half of that line. “I sympathize with you”. And let’s put it together with the next line:

Haru understands why Akechi might have acted as he did. And when Cognitive Akechi arrives, she’s the one who tells Akechi it isn’t too late:

Because, make no mistake, Haru is also a child of a terrible father. A father who used her to advance himself. Haru relates to Akechi. She sees what she could have become in him—someone just like her father.

This becomes clearer later on in the scene, when the bulkhead door comes up—and let’s just take a moment here to see what “unforgivable” looks like.

Here’s Ryuji banging on the door as it comes up:

Here’s Yusuke:

And Makoto:

Now note that Haru and Futaba (and Morgana and Ann) have not come forward at this point. But what’s Akechi’s response, by the way, when you tell him you’ll hang on to the glove and keep your promise?

He fucking smiles. Tiny little smile. Sad, barely there, but a real smile, behind the bulkhead where nobody can see it. I swear, people are like “oh, he only dies to save you because it’s the only way left he can get revenge, it’s all part of the manipulation” no, get out of my hair with that shit, I will literally eat you all. He passes up his revenge. He starts his arc as someone who has nothing but revenge to live for, and he ends it (for now) passing up that revenge for someone who matters to him. That’s important.

And that’s level 10: incidentally this is when he gets Endure, “survive an otherwise fatal attack with 1hp remaining”

After this Cogkechi and Akechi face off, and that is when Haru comes forward:

And Ann:

... and then the gunshots, not quite in unison. Bye, kids, we’ll miss you. But note that it is Futaba who only speaks up now—to do her job, not to express any concern for Akechi. It’s Futaba who gives him a far harder ride in Mementos later in the third semester than Haru does. And yet I feel like I see Futaba easily forgiving Akechi all the time and Haru almost not at all?? idk.

so what happens next?

Well, here’s Haru when they resolve to leave:

She’s sad they couldn’t save him. Like her father, Akechi will never have a chance to do better.

what about the third semester?

So in the third semester Akechi comes out as an axe crazy killer and also kind of an interpersonal asshole, but he does seem to have laid off the hired killings, so that’s, uh, good?

This understandably impacts the way the engine room fell out: nobody wants to admit what went on there. Akechi doesn’t; Akechi wants to keep all of them at an emotional radius of ten thousand kilometres, for reasons of his own. The PTs certainly don’t, because third semester Akechi is an immense pain in the ass. and about as friendly as a porcupine on PCP.

Still, he comes back on the team for reasons, and Haru and Futaba understandably have feelings about this. Here are Haru’s:

But this isn’t all that goes on. What about all those Mementos chats?

Akechi doesn’t talk to the other Phantom Thieves—if they say anything, he doesn’t respond. (Sumire also doesn’t, which gives me an image of her, Akechi and Joker stuck next to each other speaking only in Royal Trio in-jokes.) But he’s not saying anything unless he chooses to say something—when the others respond.

And who responds how? Well, there are moments of connection—more than a few. But responses to Akechi often range from passive-aggressive through mocking to outright aggressive. And this is perfectly fair: make no mistake, these guys are not friends.

How does the count stack up?

Yusuke has the lowest number of responses to Akechi—he has five. Ann and Makoto each have seven. Futaba, Morgana and Ryuji each have eight. And Haru?

Haru has nine chats in response to Akechi. She has more than anyone else. And the reason she has more chats than anyone else is that there is one chat that only she responds to:

Yeah. Akechi is not someone who enjoys being cooped up in the back of a catbus. And when he complains about it, it’s Haru who’s the only one to reply. The Japanese is not that patronising, by the way

Haru is trying. She doesn’t want to sit down and hang out with him—she won’t join him in the Thieves’ Den, for instance. But her responses to him range from passive-aggressive through conversational. They are hard to interpret—she’s not comfortable with him; she’s keeping up her mask. She’s not necessarily concerned for him or welcoming—she’s saying the “right things”, making conversation; she joins in when they all laugh at him for bouldering. Haru’s mask has a lot in common with Akechi’s many masks. But she also has that one chat that only she replies to.

Here are her nine responses to various things Akechi says:

Haru: I think this [outfit] fits you better, after seeing how you fight. Haru: I've heard you don't actually need to be that strong to boulder. Maybe I should give it a shot. Haru: It's pretty hard to imagine a group of phantom thieves successfully getting around on bicycles. Haru: Well, the car does have ears and a tail, so I wouldn't say it's impossible to tell... Haru: Well, no one gives them orders, so it appears they just wander around. Haru: As long as you're fighting alongside us, we're happy to have you. Haru: Thanks for the concern. You should stay mindful of your health, too. Haru: I wonder... You can't underestimate the Tokyo subway system, though. It's pretty long. Haru: Then what say we take a little break when we reach the next rest area?

and what’s the takeaway here?

Pretty much this: forgiveness in P5 is complicated. The story is all about responsibility and redemption and the harm you do others. Even if you can’t forgive someone, that doesn’t mean you can’t work with them. It doesn’t make them not part of your group. It doesn’t mean you can’t take an interest in them. The Phantom Thieves have a bond with Akechi regardless of what he’s done. Regardless of whether they’re “friends” or “forgiven” or whether they will ever be close. That bond doesn’t have to be pretty, or fun, or even something most of them want too much to do with, but it is there. He is, in the end, as close to being one of them as you get.

And Haru does take an interest in Akechi: more than any of the others bar Joker, Haru is the one who seems to relate to him. Haru doesn’t model judgement (that’s Futaba)—Haru is modelling understanding, and reparative justice. She doesn’t want to be Akechi’s friend; they’re hugely unlikely to ever be friends. Any relationship they have is likely to be distant, based primarily on mutual obligation. But she understands him, to a degree.

Let Haru be the wonderful human being she is. #theend

#persona 5 #haru okumura #goro akechi #p5 meta #engine room #the squad #okumura haru #akechi goro

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tightjeansjavi · 2 months

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trinkets

A/N: so I woke up this morning thinking about Dieter & gumdrop—better known as trash panda and trash possum 🥺 I just love how silly they are together and I hope y’all do too!

~word count: 1.9k~ yeah—idk what happened lol

Summary: Dieter almost burns his script in front of the director, you’re at home writing Din Djarin fanfiction on your tumblr account, Oh! And something about Dieter cloning his cock in silicone?

Pairing | dieter bravo x f!reader

Warnings: none, fluff, implied smut (phone sex bby), language, dirty talk, dieter and the reader being a menace together, one mention of drugs, readers nickname is gumdrop/trash possum, reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

When Dieter is away for a new filming project, you end up house sitting for him because there is no one that he trusts more, (outside of his agent) than you, his gumdrop. Plus, he’s secretly hoping that if you spend more time in his home, that you’ll be open to moving in with him. It’s his genius plan that he of course came up with when he was stoned out of his mind.

He didn’t realize that he could just ask you to move in with him. That was far too simple!

So, for the month that Dieter was away filming, you were lounging in his home like a house cat. He called you multiple times a day to check in on you, and because he missed your voice terribly.

“What have you been up to today, gumdrop?” He was hunched over the side of his hotel bed at an awkward angle. It was a terrible day on set. He was used to the director making last minute changes to the scene, tweaking irrelevant details and minor character traits that no one would pay attention to. Dieter, however, was not prepared for his character's redemption arc to be completely fried to bits.

He compared it to what happens to an egg when you crack it on a pan that is too hot, and the whole thing ends up burnt and crusted onto the pan.

He was furious, and instead of just sticking it through, he stormed off set after he threatened to quit the film entirely.

“Hey, Dee!” You chirped enthusiastically through the receiver. “I’m out by the pool, with a fresh glass of homemade iced tea, and I’m finally getting to write the bit where my slow burn lovers are finally going to kiss!”

He felt his lips curving upwards into a lopsided smile at your enthusiasm as he pictured you in your sunglasses, typing away on your laptop, eyes dancing, little giggles slipping past your lips because he knew just how badly you wanted to write this next part.

“I miss you so fucking much, my little trash possum.” He sighed, scraping his hand down his face before he fell back against the comforter. “This is about that tin helmet dude, right? With the little green guy?”

“Oh, Diets, I miss you too, trash panda.” You paused your typing, reaching for your glass of iced tea and took a sip. “Yes, baby. Din Djarin and Grogu. Speaking of, when you come home next month, do you wanna go to Disneyland?”

“Are Din and the reader finally gonna kiss? Shit, is he gonna take his helmet off and break the creed? Please tell me he takes the helmet off!” He felt like one of your fellow dedicated readers on tumblr, anticipating when you would post the next chapter to one of your many prolific series. “Baby, I would absolutely love to go to Disneyland with you when I get home.”

You giggled softly, shaking your head and set your glass back down on the nearby table. “Dee, I can’t spoil it! You know this, baby. You’re just gonna have to wait for the update like everyone else.” You typed in a few more words to add to the current sentence you were working on before saying, “how’s filming going? Shouldn’t you be on set right now, baby?”

“Well, if I were the tin helmet man, I would absolutely take my helmet off and break my creed for you, Meshla. And then after that I would—” he grumbled and rolled over onto his stomach, “I left set because this fucking director is completely trashing the redemption arc that my character is supposed to have! I had all these cool ideas that pretty much have now just been flushed down the toilet, and I may, or may not have threatened to quit.”

“How romantic, Dee. You’d break your creed for me?” Your lips curved downwards into a set frown when he explained to you what happened on set. “Oh, Dieter, I’m so sorry. Why the hell would the director do that? It sounded like before that it was going really well, too.”

“I’d break every creed for you, gumdrop. But yeah, the guy is on fucking crack, I swear. It’s making my job so much more fucking difficult. Y’know, I thought that after winning my first Oscar that people in this bloodsucking industry would actually take me seriously. Guess not, huh? Guess I’m still just a fuckin’ joke in Hollywood’s eyes.” He scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his ringed thumb and forefinger to suppress his oncoming tears.

“Baby, you are not a joke in Hollywood’s eyes, okay? If you and the director aren’t seeing eye to eye, I think you should give it one last shot to try and meet a middle ground? If he doesn’t budge, then I fully support you in quitting this job. You’re so passionate about your work, Dee. No reason to be pulling teeth just for a paycheck.” You reassured him, setting your laptop off to the side now so you could give your boyfriend your undivided full attention.

“And this is why I fucking love you, gumdrop. You always know how to validate me and talk me down. What the fuck would I do without you?” He stifled a chuckle. “So, I think I’m gonna give myself another hour to be pissed and grouchy about this, and then I’m gonna march my ass back to set, and give this dude a piece of my fucking—”

“Dieter.” You softly warned him.

“Baby, I’m kidding. But I am gonna try and see if he and I can reach a middle ground. And if we can’t, well, guess I’m coming home early, trash possum.”

“As much as I would love to see you sooner, I want this role to work out for you, Dee.”

“Me too, gumdrop.” He scratched at his beard with a sigh, and just when he was about to say more, there was a knock at his door and the familiar chime of his agent's voice. “I’ll call you later, okay? Cause I wanna hear all about the tin man kissing the reader, finally.”

“Okay, baby. Just remember, you’re my Dieter Bravo, and I’m so proud of you.”

“Love you to the moon and back, trash possum. Catcha on the flipside.” He ended the call, tossing his phone to the side and droned out, “You may enter.”

Later in the evening, and you were finalizing the final draft of the chapter, Dieter texted you and told you that the conversation with the director went well, and things were back on track.

Dee! This is great news, baby! I’m so happy for you 💗

Me too! He actually agreed that destroying my character's redemption arc was piss-poor writing, and he’s gonna have a new script ready for me in the morning. Did Din finally kiss the reader?

See what happens when you just communicate? So proud of you, baby. And maaaaybe. I just finished finalizing the chapter and now I just have to post it! 🤭

See, now if I never met you, I probably would have torn the guy a new one and then set the script on fire right in front of him. Y’know, like that scene in the Social Network, where Andrew Garfield’s gf sets the scarf on fire in his trash can? CLASSIC! Anyway, I’m gripping the edge of my seat! I can’t wait to read, gumdrop.

Ohhh! Yeah, that scene is a classic! I’m glad that you didn’t set your script on fire, Dee. I should have the chapter posted within the hour. Oh! And before I forget, when you come home next month…I have a surprise for you x.

Shiiii is it you naked in my bed and touching yourself? Is that the surprise? 🥵

Well that’s part of it! Butttt you’ll just have to wait and see! 😉

Oh, sure, tease me, why don’t ya? Got my cock stupid hard already, you little filthy thing.

Pics or it didn’t happen!

Tell me if Din and the reader kiss, then I’ll send you a pic ;)

You are a little shithead

Tell me something I don’t already know, gumdrop 🥰

Fine. Fine. They kiss! He takes his helmet off, but she doesn’t see his face. She keeps her eyes closed because she doesn’t want him to break his creed for her 🥺

Damn, that just made my heart & my cock ache :( Din is such a romantic! Be still, my foolish heart. Your readers are gonna eat that shit up, babygirl.

Please show me. That clone your willy dildo you got me just isn’t the same. And yeah, he is such a romantic! Just like you 💗

Oh, fuck. Are you using it on yourself right now? Hold on, I’m gonna FaceTime you! I need to see this for myself 😉

I miiight be.

Seconds after sending that text, Dieter FaceTimes you and his freehand is already slowly and gently fisting his cock in your view just as he sees you fucking yourself with the silicone dildo of his cloned cock.

“So pretty, good golly. You take my fake cock so well, gumdrop.”

It’s hours before Dieter’s flight into LAX is expected to arrive. You had just finished moving in all of your belongings from your apartment, including all of your silly little trinkets and knick knacks that you have now displayed on every available surface in his home.

Tiny animal figurines, built lego sets, little trinkets and bobbles and you even went and bought a cabinet to store yours and Dieter’s Funko Pop collection. Little pieces of yourself and your exuberant personality were scattered about the house. You were, in some ways, like a crow; you loved to collect pretty and shiny things.

When Dieter arrived home, bag slung over his shoulder, and under his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the stack of cardboard boxes neatly stacked next to the front door and his heart immediately swelled at the sight.

“Gumdrop?” He called for you, kicking his shoes off on the rainbow doormat next to yours.

He padded further into the house, stopping at the cabinet with your shared Funko Pop collection and into the kitchen where he saw that along the window sill, you had an array of different animal figurines lined up in a row, and the very first two animals were a little ceramic racoon and possum.Then he finally saw you, lounged out by the pool, typing away like a maniac on your laptop.

He dropped his bag to the floor and pulled open the sliding back door to accompany you outside.

You looked up from the screen at the familiar sound, lips curving upwards into a grin that stretched across your entire face. “Dieter!” You said enthusiastically, setting your laptop off to the side and ran over to him, nearly slipping into the pool on your way because you were so excited.

He met you halfway, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you so tightly it felt like the oxygen was being crushed out of your lungs.

“Hey there, my little crow. You moving in or something?” He said teasingly, loosening his grip around you as your arms looped around his neck, “Cause, I was gonna ask you to move in at some point but I just—”

You shushed him with a kiss, molding your lips against his in a warm embrace. “Surprise.” You carded your fingers through his hair, tugging him in closer, “You’re stuck with me now, trash panda.”

He smiled against your lips, kissing you back deeply, giving your ass a playful squeeze as you yelped in surprise, giving him full access to lick into your mouth, “Wouldn’t’ want to have it any other way, trash possum.”

banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 💗

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#fic:trinkets #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo the bubble #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter x reader #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo fluff #the bubble fanfiction #the bubble fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction

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zibiscusloon · 9 months

Text

So Ruin got me feeling things-

‼️ (Spoilers under the cut!!!!) ‼️

-First off can I say how much I adore Cassie? Girl committed breaking and entering, dealt with a decrepit torn down old Pizzaplex, fought off several animatronics that by all means could have killed her, helped some of those said animatronics find peace, all in the name of saving her friend. You go girl.

-ECLIPSE!!!! 🌞🌗🌚 I LOVE THEM!!! 💕💕💕💕(For those who don’t know, I’m now outing myself as a Daycare Attendant simp), Sun/Moon was always my favorite character in the original game, and I’m so happy we were allowed to give them some sense of closure with themself, Sun & Moon are definitely in a more healthy state of mind as Eclipse.

-GLAMROCK BONNIE—

-Also got fed on some Glamrock Fronnie content, we keep winning-

-“You and me, forever and ever. Love, Freddy.” Freddy that’s pretty gay-

-The 👏Roxy 👏redemption 👏we 👏were 👏fed 👏

-Her and Cassie’s bond is so cuteeeeee….. and she came back to try and save Cassie in the end!! (Steelwool we better see more of these two-)

-The overall atmosphere really tipped more into Fnaf traditional horror which I loved

-Mimic was… something.. still don’t know exactly how to feel about them. I mean I knew that couldn’t be Gregory that we were talkin go to cause I know he isn’t a lil coward but still..

-Speaking of Gregory-

-DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK.

-I’ve been backstabbed, betrayed, bamboozled-

-AFTER ALL I DID TRYING TO SAVE YOU-

-Gregory and me are now on bad terms y’all. Love the little bastard to death but I’m really pissed at him right now.

-THERE WAS NO REASON FOR THAT-

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-Gregory and I are beefing right now. Leave me be.

-It’s also now heavily implied that the Princess Quest Ending was the true ending to the original game instead of.. the true ending-

-Also implying Vanny is no longer under Will’s influence. Kinda sucks.. like yeah good for her that she’s free now but girl got no time to be a villain! Let girls be deranged!!

-I have.. a lot of headcanons and AU shit to rewrite now. (Pretty much now confirms Greg and Cass aren’t siblings so Imma have to get rid of that-)

-I’m trying what I can now to find all the endings. LORD I’M A WRECK.

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toomanyopinionss · 7 months

Text

I want to talk about

Surviving Summer

(nonspoiler/spoiler)

hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏

So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.

I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??

As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.

I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy

7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.

SPOILERS

Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.

I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)

Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…

✨“summer have you seen yourself?”

summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.

immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.

but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…

you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️

anyone else? hmmm…

oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.

it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?

like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.

ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.

#surviving summer #surviving summer netflix #netflix #2023 #sky katz #summer x baxter #summer x ari #poppy x marlon #baxter radic #summer torres

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callsign-rogueone · 1 month

Note

Hi! I was wondering if one of my favorite authors had any new thoughts or theories on the new book know that we have a title in place?

I personally hope with the title we will get more xaden contain through dual povs throughout vs not just at the end!

howdy!! my first thoughts were just internal screaming tbh. I’m very excited. I pre-ordered both versions already. I’m locked in.

some of my (many) questions / worries / thoughts (more to come later probably)

onyx = his eyes, storm = her lightning… probably

I really hope we get more Xaden pov! I think we will, as the “special edition” doesn’t mention bonus chapters in his pov like the fourth wing special edition did. but it would be so sad to watch his thoughts slowly turn evil and watch him deteriorate 😭

are we picking back up right where we left off? if we are, my bet for the opening scene or somewhere in the first few chapters is gonna be the three siblings going through their mom’s office / burning her stuff 🥺

how fast does one “turn” after they become venin? like how long do we have to save him? he seems to be cognizant and “himself” right now, but what has to happen for him to slip and lose that control? is it only a matter of time, or is he gonna be okay if he just doesn’t pull from the earth again?

like, Jack touched Dain and he immediately broke down in pain and left dead gray handprints on his skin. how long until X starts doing that too, and he can’t hold Violet anymore? and is Dain okay? is he scarred for life now, or did it go away after a while? 🥺

speaking of Dain… what’s the deal with his dad? I don’t trust that guy literally at all. I would love to see Dain stand up to him more and stop being the perfect obedient and trusting son and give his old man the what for, like a real face to face confrontation and demand answers. I want him to be as ruthless with his dad as Brennan was with their mom (only Mr. Aetos truly deserves it)

and in general I want more of Dain’s redemption arc! but that’s just me, I know other people don’t like him as much as I do (which is a lot, so…)

we can’t forget poor Sgaeyl… I hope we see more of her relationship with Violet in this one, if Xaden is truly detached from his dragon now (how does that work?) she can’t be away from Tairn, anyway, so…

also… there are so many people who might not have survived the battle… :( we know the first years and Vi and Brennan are safe, because they were there fixing the ward stone, and I’m pretty sure sawyer made it through, but everyone else…? though I’m not too worried about that, it think it would be really cheap of her to be like, oh by the way, ____ died. I’d never forgive her lol

speaking of dead people, are we getting more Liam in this book again? I couldn’t handle it… but there’s a group of people on Reddit who are very convinced that Vi can see dead people as her signet from Andarna, which I don’t really believe (they disconnected her from Tairn at the time, so she probably couldn’t reach Andarna’s power either. and side note: think of how fucking haunted Basgiath must be. half the class dies before they can graduate, and it’s been there for hundreds of years presumably.)

that’s all I have for now. I’m sure I’ll reblog this later to add more / make this a kindof thoughts thread, but I’m always down to theorize with y’all in my inbox too! 🖤⛈

#liz.txt #fourth wing #answered #onyx storm #onyx storm thoughts #empyrean 3 #iron flame spoilers #fourth wing spoilers

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fairybinie · 1 year

Text

COPYCCINO — 52: heal the wound

synopsis: soobin has been talking to who he thought was his unrequited crush on messages, only to find out through a visit to their coffee shop that it was in fact not them. not only does he meet the real y/n, he runs into their friend yeonjun, an ex friend of his who he has some unresolved issues with. as soobin and the real y/n are getting to know each other, yeonjun and soobin are working through their misunderstandings, as well as trying to figure out who the catfish was.

taglist: @iyeonjuni @odxrilove @ifwtyun @iuwon @ijhyo @cherr-y-eji @peachy-yabbay @ameliesaysshoo @sunlightwoo @enhacolor @tyungun @multi4lifer @milkycloudtyg @bluhr @strawberri-uyu @fluffdiaree @misscalcutta @butterflx @cherrybeomgyu @skinnygowon @ilove-jake @feyregels @blahbluhblahbluh @hueofjamjam @wccycc @mnlylonely @seventeeneration @hyukabean @boba-beom @2ynjns @soobmint @tae-ology @voidbeomgyu @hyuntaena @luvnhwa @calumsfringe @7thgyu @ashxxkook @soobsfairy444 @sansluvr @flrtsbin @bibinnieposts @dandelionxgal @whoislouu @ahalya25 @cha0thicpisces @laylasbunbunny @robinsluva @luvsoobs @kooktattoos @binsoomi @noholywater

send an ask to be apart of the taglist!

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a/n: written (7.9k) + smau. swearing, lots of apologies, probably some mistakes but look away!! this was very long awaited i’m so sorry y’all but copyccino is back, with the anticipated redemption arc ❤️

…

y/n walks into the building along with kai and taehyun, not expecting too much. in all honesty, they’re slightly relieved to leave their hotel room after remaining in there for so many days. this is the most normal that they’ve felt, though it doesn’t feel the same. this is barely half of their group.

they just want everyone to be together again. they weren’t even able to befriend each other like y/n had hoped for. everyone being one big group of friends was their biggest wish.

they all greet the lady behind the desk as taehyun reaches for his phone to show her what they can assume was their reservation. one look around and y/n can see what can be appealing about this place. originally, they thought it catered more towards little kids but there are some teenagers and young adults present as well. that makes them feel a little less embarrassed.

y/n follows along behind the two boys and they stand right where the maze begins. there are a variety of occupation rooms on different sides of the building where people can choose which one to enter. a fire station, a hospital room, a classroom, you name it. y/n waits with their hands on their side, their sweater paws snuggling down comfortably.

“so, where do you want to start?” y/n asks casually as they look at their friends in front of them.

“there was a room i wanted to check out,” taehyun recommends while he gestures his head towards the left. “it seemed interesting.”

y/n nods with no suspicion, still following along as it was taehyun they were talking about. he was usually never up to anything without being transparent. the trio begins to head over to the room as kai and y/n follow loosely behind taehyun who seemingly knew the way.

kai remains quiet, convinced that if he speaks up he’ll somehow give everything away, blowing their operation. his eyes trail from the paintings scattered around each hallway before he glances over at y/n, noticing their demeanor for the first time today.

“hey, are you okay?” he speaks lowly in y/n’s space, not wanting taehyun to hear, though the boy was already distracted in trying to find the room to notice. “your eyes look a little red.”

y/n looks at kai for a split second before looking straight ahead again, nodding their head softly. “yeah, i’m fine.”

if you considered going through your texts and photos with your boyfriend and best friend last night to be fine. it hit y/n like an emotional wreck realizing how things currently are. their last text from soobin being that he’ll never stop missing them. they can’t help but wonder if he still stands by that, even now. if he still misses them. the thought made them cry to sleep.

kai opens his mouth to continue to say something else before taehyun announces right in front of the room where they’ve finally arrived. “it’s this one!”

the two boys head straight inside while y/n takes a moment to look at the plaque that’s next to the door.

police interrogation room.

y/n furrows their eyebrows as they wonder what they would be doing here, why they would be interested in checking this room out. still, with a tilt of their head, they walk in with an open mind.

just as it’s intended, it’s quite literally, an interrogation room. black and navy accents on every piece of furniture and walls. there’s a glass border in between two sides of the room. the first side has some chairs where there’s voice machines on the glass for the officers to speak to the suspect. the other side is where a round table is placed, for the interviewers and the suspect to sit. on the left there’s a door to enter inside to be questioned. it’s almost eery how similar the environment is to the real thing, like they’re actually being called in for a crime.

after looking around the room for a while y/n glances at kai and taehyun, who are seemingly having a non verbal conversation. they stare at each other while taehyun has his phone in his hand, looking at it every now and then as if he’s waiting for something to pop up.

“so what exactly do we do here?” y/n questions, almost out of boredom. there’s really nothing much to this room. it’s probably not nearly as fun as the other rooms in this place.

taehyun looks down at his phone and y/n can see the reflection that is a notification on his screen through his eyes. taehyun gives kai a curt nod, and kai heads over to the door that leads the way into the interrogation room. he then grabs y/n’s arm and throws them into the room in a rush, locking the door right after. y/n exclaims in confusion and slight frustration, staring at the two boys harshly through the glass screen. kai seems to be antsy while taehyun remains to be calm and situated.

“hey! what’d you do that for?” y/n protests, having to yell in case they couldn’t hear through the glass. they walk towards the door and attempt to open it, though it’s locked shut. all that can be heard is the door knob jiggling profusely and y/n’s complaints.

as if on cue, the door behind taehyun and kai opens as new guests walk inside.

or a guest.

y/n recognizes a familiar blonde close the door behind him as he faces the front. the space between taehyun and kai leaves y/n to get a perfect glimpse of him.

yeonjun.

y/n’s face that had previously been scrunched up from confusion eases as they wonder what the boy was doing here. kai seemed to have been thinking the same thing as he sends taehyun a widened pair of eyes with an expression, ‘you really got him to come.’

yeonjun slowly heads more inside and makes eye contact with everyone in the room. the expression on his face is something that y/n couldn’t quite make out, or one that they couldn’t expect. yeonjun’s eyebrows momentarily cross each other as he gets used to the scenery and the people here, but he soon drops the struggle and blinks himself back to reality. he does a quick nod and sniffs in some air. it was almost like he was expecting something. like he knew what he was in for.

taehyun walks over to the door that leads into the interrogation room itself and opens it wide. y/n sees his arm stretched out, indicating that someone should walk in. y/n trails onto taehyun’s view and realizes he’s looking right at yeonjun, who’s looking back at him with some caution. taehyun confirms something through his gaze and yeonjun gives him one last look before he glances at y/n. they quickly lay their eyes off of him and find something else to stare at, the ground being their best choice. y/n can hear a sigh escape from yeonjun’s mouth as his footsteps can be heard through the quiet atmosphere. their eyes remain on the concrete tiles and it’s the sound of the door closing and yeonjun’s sneakers right next to theirs that indicate he’s now in the room with them. standing right next to them.

what is going on?

taehyun stands next to kai once again as he checks his phone, waiting for the last person to arrive. kai becomes anxious, being that some minutes have passed already. beomgyu and sieun should’ve brought soobin by now.

kai nervously pans over at the glass wall, meeting eyes with y/n, who wants answers, and yeonjun, who’s unexpectedly rather calm. he lets out an anxious laugh as he sends the two a thumbs up, quickly putting his hands away as he realizes how stupid it looks.

he leans to taehyun with a low voice that’s filled with worry. “where are they?”

“they’re here,” taehyun replies while looking at the messages on his phone, scrolling to the most recent text. “beomgyu said they got caught up once soobin realized sieun was here too.”

that doesn’t bring any ease to kai’s mind. if soobin reacted to seeing sieun suddenly be here, what makes them think he won’t be agitated to see everyone else here too?

“well-”

kai is cut off mid sentence when the door opens widely for the last time, and both he and taehyun straighten their positions as taehyun puts his phone away. sieun walks in first, beomgyu second.

soobin third.

the room starts to get crowded so it takes soobin a while to register who else is here. y/n and yeonjun, who have been witnessing this whole thing, saw the first two enter and can presume who else is here as well. once sieun stands next to taehyun while kai heads over to the door, ready in place, they see soobin crystal clear.

and he can surely see them now.

soobin’s pupils grow large as his mouth agapes wide open, finding the situation at hand to be unbelievable. y/n and yeonjun in the same room, everyone else looking awfully suspicious. he looks at beomgyu with distrust, mentally asking him why he lied. soobin places a hand out in caution, his hoarse voice being present.

“what’s going on?”

instead of looking at the hurt boy, beomgyu sends kai a head nod as a signal, leading to kai opening the door once again while beomgyu runs at soobin and pushes him inside. kai locks the door in a rush to signify the end. soobin bangs on the door while he shouts more questions and frustrations, everyone else disregarding him.

the two boys head over to join taehyun and sieun, who send them a judgmental pair of eyes.

“you could’ve done that differently?” sieun asks in disbelief.

beomgyu laughs dryly as he crosses his arms proudly while he looks at the trio inside.

“it’s not as fun.”

the three were now all together. y/n, who was filled with confusion but slowly started to piece everything together and can only dread where this was going. yeonjun, who seemingly knew where this was going and has prepared for it, open to see where this all goes. soobin, who’s just lost, but his spirit resembles a burning fire. each of them are spaced apart, y/n standing in the middle with their arms hugging their shoulders, their knees barely keeping them intact. yeonjun stands farther to the right, crossing his arms once soobin had entered the room, his demeanor becoming more stern and defensive. soobin on the left and can only remain still and straight, wary of what could happen.

what a perfect combination.

the trio can hear a cough through the incoming voice machine and it gathers their attention. the group on the other side are all seated into their chairs, hands folded together in a polite and professional manner. in any other instance this would be deemed as unserious, but in their case, the tension was building sporadically.

“we’ve gathered you here today-” taehyun begins to address before he’s cut off by a laughter next to him. beomgyu covers his mouth with his hand as he cackles into it, thrown off by the seriousness. sieun hits the boy in the arm and it’s like a switch went off because he pulls himself together with a straight face.

“…because you all need to talk,” taehyun continues, finally encountering the issue at hand. the trio make sense of all this and they continue to consider what he says. “you need to work through it, not just leave off the way you did.”

kai taps on taehyun’s shoulder and gestures on which button he should press on the voice box. taehyun sees that he wants to speak, so he shows him which one. kai adds onto taehyun’s sentence.

“we’re all friends. or we once were,” kai relates to soobin and yeonjun, who each look down at the ground for a second, feeling the words hit them. “if you really cared about each other in the slightest you would do your best to fix all of this.”

“there’s miscommunication going on here,” sieun adds next, her voice radiating some sweetness to lessen the tension. “at least try to understand each other.”

sieun lets go of her button quietly as she looks at beomgyu next to her, expecting him to finish their monologue. beomgyu gets the hint and presses his finger onto the machine, glancing at each of them before he stares into soobin’s eyes in a genuine manner.

“we all made the effort to bring you together. you should do the same to come out through it.”

beomgyu’s voice rings through their ears as the trio remain silent in thought. y/n wants to look at the boys next to them to get some kind of sign as to what they were feeling, but they can’t. y/n goes through each pair of eyes in front of them as they finally land on taehyun’s, who’s looking right back.

“what do you want us to do?” this is the first time yeonjun and soobin has heard their voice in days, and they’re temporarily thrown off. y/n’s voice comes across more small than they had intended, but that’s how they feel inside.

“there’s a table right behind you,” taehyun says as they each look behind them. “just sit and talk.”

“we can hear you,” beomgyu adds quickly with a smile, ready to see the show.

though they were given instructions, they still don’t move. soobin barely shifts in his place and y/n feels too heavy in their own weight. the scene is reminiscent of a group of kids who are too shameful to do their parent’s punishment. not too much of a difference.

“they’re not doing anything,” beomgyu says through his teeth, not breaking his forced smile while he makes sure he’s not pressing the button for them to hear.

taehyun watches in front of them as he sits back relaxingly, arms crossed together, a sly grin on his face. a spark can be seen through his eyes.

“i think not.”

the group glances at the front again and stunned expressions take over each of them. soobin and y/n watch as yeonjun walks with careful steps towards the table and sits down with the same crossed arms from earlier. he sets his gaze onto y/n, one that leaves an impression that he's ready to listen. as if it were some kind of spell, it leaves y/n to head to the seat in front of him, taking their place behind the table.

soobin watches the pair with prudent eyes as he carefully thinks about his decision. he looks over at beomgyu one last time for any kind of confirmation. the boy can only nod in assurance. soobin takes the gesture and glances back at the table, meeting eyes with both y/n and yeonjun. y/n’s showcase desperation while yeonjun remains to be indifferent with soobin. that already seems to be a development from last time. he's let his guard down. at least some of it.

soobin quietly huffs out some air and walks over to the last seat, his footsteps being the right amount of movement. the layout of the table makes it perfect for the group to see the three of them perfectly, none of them showing their back to the front. there was a measured amount of space between them, y/n on the left, yeonjun in the middle, soobin on the right.

another silence ensues as the ball is now completely in their court. taehyun mentioned to the group that they can only guide them so much, but they have to do the rest willingly. he said they’d be there all day if they have to. at some point, the silence will get to them.

soobin plays with his hands that were intertwined in front of him, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. yeonjun stares out onto the flat, round surface of the table, his mind wandering somewhere else with a fazed look in his eyes. y/n wonders what to do, their only resort being to look at kai for some comfort. he sends them a reassuring grin, reassuring enough to bring y/n to say something.

“i’ve…done a lot of thinking these past few days,” they start off hesitant, but it certainly captures the boys’ attention. they look at y/n intently, which only brings more pressure onto them. y/n feels themselves get lost in their words due to the sudden attention and looks over at taehyun for some support. he nods at them softly, encouraging them to continue. it’s with that gesture that y/n remembers the conversation they had with taehyun.

it’s not your fault, if you think about it.

“i think you two have some resentment that you need to figure out before you take it out on me.”

y/n stuns them with their words, y/n even feeling the effect themselves. yeonjun and soobin know that they have issues, hell, everyone in this room knows that they have issues. someone that’s not one another telling them that? the reality stings. maybe the truth can heal the wound.

it doesn’t take long for yeonjun to speak up after that, giving y/n’s words some time to simmer in their heads. he chooses his words carefully and as best as he could. he doesn’t want to hurt his best friend again, and he doesn't want soobin to take something else from this than what he is intending.

“i do have some resentment…towards you,” yeonjun speaks lowly as he gestures his head forward at soobin, who can only listen.

this time it’s yeonjun’s turn to look at taehyun for some assurance, to which taehyun services. now is the time for yeonjun to say how he really feels. he was unable to do that when this all started, his emotions took over him too well for him to be reasonable. maybe it’ll be different this time.

“i don’t know if you know this, but my entire life i’ve been compared to you,” yeonjun starts, barely managing to keep eye contact with soobin, but it’s enough.

“yeah, i know. you wouldn’t expect it, but it’s true. my parents questioned my values and thought yours were intellectual, so they wanted me to be like you.” yeonjun leaves his exposition with a pause, thinking about how to bring this around. everyone in the room waits patiently, with some anticipation.

“and then we went to high school,” yeonjun sits back in his chair as he sighs out a pitiful laugh. “it only got worse.”

“you weren't a loser anymore. you didn’t need protecting, which i didn’t mind doing by the way. everyone only saw the nice traits about you and started applying them onto me. it’s like i wasn’t my own person anymore, i was just your friend. the person people wanted me to be. i knew then that’s what it must have felt like when we were in grade school.”

soobin timidly nods in agreement as he blank stares at yeonjun’s shirt. nothing that captivating, but anything to avoid eye contact. throughout soobin’s life he’s been under yeonjun’s shadow. he got bullied for not being cool, not being like him. high school changed his life. people had a new definition of cool and he fit into it. he had his own shadow at that point, and yeonjun was behind it.

“i didn’t know that,” soobin replies sympathetically. yeonjun’s arms remain guarded as the half smile stays on his face, still staring into nothing. he doesn’t say anything.

“and then i got a girlfriend,” he says with tightness in his voice. if y/n wasn’t engaged before, they certainly were now. this is what must’ve started everything, and it seems like the truth they knew was only one sided. soobin closes his eyes while he scrunches his eyebrows together, dreading the returned topic.

“someone who only saw me for me. she liked me.” yeonjun sits more straight like he’s getting down to business.

“and then you guys met. at the time it didn’t bother me, my two favorite people becoming friends, that’s what i should want,” yeonjun dryly laughs while projecting his voice as if he’s speaking to the universe. “then she started acting differently with me and next thing you know, i’m being broken up with.”

y/n feels the need to reach out for yeonjun’s hand to console him but manages the urge to restrain themselves. they’re in a weird place, it wouldn’t be appropriate. yeonjun leans forward and his elbows place onto the table as his eyes dart onto soobin’s, who still avoids meeting his gaze as he keeps his eyes hidden low.

“because she likes someone else,” yeonjun’s tone is unpleasantly nice, but wicked. “you.”

yeonjun can feel that he’s getting to soobin so he backs away into his seat yet again, dropping the tension that was the enclosed space.

“and then i see you two after school hugging so what else was i supposed to assume,” yeonjun chokes out a dark chuckle, like he’s pitying himself. “thought i was done with you for years, but now you’re apparently dating y/n so something’s gotta happen.”

y/n winces at the namedrop, as does soobin. y/n slowly looks away from their own hands, expecting to meet eyes with their enraged best friend. if looks could kill, they were ready for it. though they were wrong. their gazes lock together and yeonjun appears to be soft. he looks tired, either from being mad this whole time or tired with himself.

y/n thinks about what they should say and manages to come up with something, but the sound of the voice box being clicked on tells them that someone from the outside wants to speak. they turn their head in that direction and see that taehyun has his finger on the console.

“do you still assume that?”

everyone is thrown off guard at the question, realizing that the conversation will steer into a deeper direction. y/n looks over from taehyun to yeonjun, waiting for his answer as soobin remains to look at the front.

“i…don’t want to,” yeonjun says slowly in realization, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. y/n knows this habit and it’s clear to them that yeonjun is being as honest as he can be. “something’s telling me i shouldn’t.”

this fires up an emotion inside soobin which causes him to whip his head around to face yeonjun, who’s been looking at him this entire time. the first time they’ve managed to make eye contact. soobin doesn’t know how to feel. the only word that can come to mind is hope. hope that his former friend will finally be willing to listen to him.

hope that he’ll finally believe him.

soobin’s pupils widen slightly, his eyes searching through yeonjun’s to get some kind of clue. already, he can tell that yeonjun sees him differently. his eyes aren’t full of hatred and disappointment he once had the last time they ever spoke. instead, they’re expectant. asking him to prove him wrong, and not in a challenging way, but in a genuine way.

“i didn’t cheat with your girlfriend behind your back,” soobin starts off. his eyes brim with water, attempting to pull the straightest face he can to prevent them from falling. he hates confrontation, but the fact that he gets emotional enough for him to cry makes him hate this even more.

“then why didn’t you do anything?!” yeonjun impatiently hushes, a voice crack apparent, like it’s all starting to get to him.

“yeonjun,” taehyun warns through the machine. they meet eyes and taehyun raises his eyebrows with a stern head nod forward, his eyes widening slowly. yeonjun stammers out a couple of unfinished sentences while he glances back at soobin. he looks at him with subtle desperation, leading yeonjun to become quiet and nod, signaling for soobin to continue.

“did she ever tell you what actually happened?” soobin questions. this is something he’s wanted to know throughout these years and he finally has the guts to ask.

“yeah,” yeonjun replies nonchalantly. this is the only thing he’s believed after all. “she came by my house later that day to pick up her things she left. she revealed that you were the one she dumped me for and told me you liked her back.”

soobin laughs and tilts his head to the side, petty that this is what min has done. he didn’t know this, but it certainly makes sense that yeonjun could have believed it. he has to admit that the scene between them along with min’s lie, it could appear that way. though, it wasn’t.

“if i tell you what actually happened, would you let me finish?” soobin pleads. every single time he’s tried to explain himself yeonjun had been too upset to let him say his words. judging from yeonjun’s presence right now, it seems like he finally has a chance. yeonjun nods, gesturing his hand forward to indicate he’s listening.

“she did confess that she liked me, that’s true,” soobin starts off. yeonjun winces having to hear this again and he fights the urge to interrupt. “but i rejected her.”

yeonjun slowly brings his head up to face soobin, confusion taking over him. everyone in the room is ready to listen.

“she came up to me and told me she broke up with you. mind you, the whole time i was telling her that she should be talking to you and not me. she wouldn’t do that, told me the damage was already done. then when she asked if we could be together, i said no. i said i didn’t like her back, we weren’t close enough for me to even consider it. even still, i would say no. she got emotional when i told her that and asked for a hug as one last goodbye. i felt bad so i did, i hugged her because i rejected her. when she left the first thing i wanted to do was talk to you, that’s when you came up to me.”

soobin finishes off strong, getting as much of his truth out there. y/n starts to piece everything together and realizes that this story makes much more sense. the way yeonjun has described soobin to them made him sound like someone who didn't want yeonjun to have anything. now that they’re involved with soobin, they know he wouldn’t do anything like that. soobin has been through his own heartbreaks since then. he knows how it feels, why would he ever implicate something like that?

everyone awaits for yeonjun’s reaction, though it’s still not clear. yeonjun blank stares ahead of him and his eyes can be seen fluttering low as he takes this information in. he steadily stares back up at soobin and he’s met with honest eyes. yeonjun’s eyes trinkle with water and he can’t understand why. taehyun might say it’s because he’s finally realizing what the actual truth was and feels guilty for believing anything else this entire time. it’s caused him to lose his best friend and now that he’s here telling him what actually happened, it slaps him in the face. he feels terrible.

“i know you felt insecure before,” soobin breaks the silence while he still has yeonjun’s gaze set on his. his voice is nearly going to crack and soobin feels one rapid tear escape from his socket. yeonjun tries to hold back his, but unfortunately fails. his come out slower.

“but do you really think i would do something like that to you, yeonjun?”

it’s with those words that yeonjun breaks down crying, not bothering to hold back his tears any longer. everyone else is shocked, some of which have never seen him cry before. even taehyun is caught off guard, questioning if he should still play the unbiased straight man or if he should go in there and call this whole thing off. y/n pushes the box of tissues close to yeonjun, to which he grabs. soobin remains still, the only one to be unfazed by this. he always wanted to get a reaction out of yeonjun that wasn’t just rage, or coolness that he was used to when they were still friends. though he doesn't like to see him cry, it at least shows that he’s vulnerable.

“no,” yeonjun chokes into the tissue. he sniffs to regain his composure and barely manages to pull it off. “i wanted to see you as the bad guy. i was compared to you too much that i was almost mad at you. i guess when this happened i had the opportunity to do so and i took it, even if it was unfair. i was just upset.”

“i was compared to you too,” soobin replies as one more tear falls down his cheek. “it was annoying, yeah. but i never blamed you because i knew it wasn’t your fault. you were your own person, you couldn’t do anything about it. no matter how much you stood up for me and protected me, you couldn’t control how people viewed me or you. i was upset too, but never at you. no matter how much their words got to me i never questioned your character or even considered that you would do something wrong to me, because we were best friends. it hurt me that you did, yeonjun.”

“i know, and i’m sorry.”

soobin feels his breath hitch behind his throat. of all the conversations they’ve had it has never ended with yeonjun apologizing. everyone else can feel it too and are just as surprised.

“you were my best friend and i shouldn’t have assumed that you would betray me like that. i was in a place that i’ve never been in before and i didn’t know how to handle it, i only knew anger. then as time went on, i accepted our fate. it wasn’t until recently where i started questioning my actions and realized that i was in the wrong here. i can’t take back what i’ve said to you or what i’ve done, but i’m sorry soobin. i wish i never resulted to that and if i could take it back i would, i’m sorry.”

yeonjun finishes off and the two stare at each other a little longer. they feel a sense of relief take over them. soobin has been wanting to say his truth for so long and finally got to do it, the result being yeonjun believing him. yeonjun’s just been wanting to have an open mind and it finally got through him. though they can’t pick up where they left off, they can at least try to work at it. being in the same room has already been crossed off the list.

“now that i’m apologizing,” yeonjun picks himself back up to continue. he fixes his position so his body is facing his right, facing y/n. y/n feels the direction onto them and prepares themselves.

“i’m sorry for what i said at you too, y/n. i will admit i’ve felt a bit left out lately, you and kai have gotten closer and i felt that you weren’t telling me everything. then when…this happened the first thing i felt was to accuse you of keeping me in the dark on purpose. i thought about it, and yeah, i never told you guys who soobin was, even though i thought i did. you wouldn’t have known. i’m sorry for saying you have the memory of a goldfish and it won’t take you anywhere in life, that was completely messed up and i regret it. i’m just sorry for dragging you into this.”

y/n has managed to keep their emotions together but now that something has been directed at them, they’re starting to feel it. yeonjun looks at them with sincerity and regret and it’s apparent to y/n that he really means it. there’s a hint of fear in yeonjun’s eyes and y/n can tell. he doesn’t want to lose them. they are his best friend, losing one was enough but he can’t afford to lose another because of his foolish actions.

“i was thinking about this situation and i was upset too. being blamed for things i had nothing to do with isn’t exactly pleasing,” y/n confides in their feelings. yeonjun feels the guilt hit him and nods in agreement. he folds his hands together and slightly looks down, only y/n’s words could bring him back up again.

“but i can’t say i would react any better, if it were me. i was hurt when you said those things and i wasn’t sure if we could come back from that, even though i really wanted to. seeing you here it’s clear that you really mean it, so i forgive you.”

y/n’s words end sweetly while they exchange friendly glances, like things are finally normal again. yeonjun was worried it would be the end for them. y/n’s words manage to dry his tears and can only feel the dampness on his face, his cheeks to be stained pink. y/n feels like it’s their turn to disclose some things.

“you’re my best friend yeonjun. i wouldn’t want to replace you with anybody else. i’m sorry you felt like i was keeping things from you, but i swear i had no idea. this is all new to me and frankly, it was complicated. i only told kai because he was there when soobin and i met. i promise i was going to tell you and taehyun once things got more serious, i was just trying to figure out how. i just hope you two don’t think i was being secretive on purpose when i didn’t know anything.”

y/n explains their truth, carefully choosing their words as much as they can. though some of it was directed at yeonjun, it was also for soobin too. at the end of the day, both of them felt like y/n was keeping things from them on purpose. y/n can only hope they understand.

“call me jun, i miss hearing it.”

they maintain genuine eye contact and yeonjun accepts y/n’s explanation with soft words, feeling better than before. y/n feels the weight lifted from their shoulders, overwhelmed that they’re able to call their best friend with his nickname. that was one of the heartbreaks they experienced.

“i need to apologize too,” y/n and yeonjun break their stare as they hear a different voice speak up. y/n looks over and sees soobin looking at them intently. they know what this is about, so they continue to hear him out. yeonjun relaxes into his seat while he listens attentively, not aware of what this is regarding. for all he knows, he only left off on bad terms with soobin and y/n. hearing that soobin wants to apologize to y/n, he can imagine they had their quarrels too.

“like yeonjun said, i’m sorry that i assumed you had anything to do with this. i shouldn’t have blamed you when i asked you to disclose who yeonjun was. i shouldn’t have said you were lying to me. i guess i’ve just been through it enough with yun that this situation just brought up that memory again. it was still unfair for me to do that. i hate that i yelled at you, of all the people i could do that to i didn’t want to do it with you. i wish i could take it back.”

soobin scoots closer as if it’s just him and y/n in the room. he can see y/n wipe a tear away as they look at him with expectant eyes, wondering what else he’ll say. there’s only one last thing.

“but i’m especially sorry for calling you yun. i’ve reflected on it these past few days and i still can’t figure out why i did that. it was in the heat of the moment and i wish i never said it. i really mean it when i say i like you for you, not yun or anyone else. i can see that what i said contradicts that, but i swear i didn’t mean it. i’m just sorry for everything, y/n.”

soobin gulps slowly while waiting for any sign y/n could throw at him. a look of disgust could insinuate they want nothing to do with him ever again. a look of admiration could be that it’s water under the bridge, that they forgive him. y/n searches through soobin’s eyes and soobin does his best to maintain that contact and not break away. he wants to appear as honest as he actually feels.

“who’s yun?” yeonjun asks while glancing at each of them. y/n and soobin look at each other in slight panic, wondering if they should tell him since they’re dumping everything now. as if they’re connected, they both agree to wait til another time.

“we’ll tell you later.” yeonjun gives a small nod, for once not upset at the fact that he doesn’t know something. this experience really turned over a new leaf for him.

y/n gives a side smile, showcasing a dimple that soobin hasn’t seen before. was it always there or did he just never notice? his heart becomes warm just at the sight. y/n nods with acceptance as they lean back against their chair.

“i think we all said things we regret,” y/n comes to a conclusion with insight. “it’s clear we’re all sorry, so it should be left in the past.”

with every word, y/n continues to look at soobin and the two softly smile at each other. there’s room for a new beginning, and it seems like they’ll take it.

“so…are we good?” y/n hesitantly asks, glancing at the two boys in front of them. yeonjun and soobin exchange a glimpse of each other and show a small smile. yeonjun speaks in a tone that he never thought he’d ever express.

forgiveness.

“as good as we can be.”

a chaotic noise ensues and the trio look in front of them, realizing that kai is out of his seat while clapping eagerly. he radiates an emotional audience member after their idol has given an acceptance speech.

“that was beautiful,” he speaks into the voice box. they can’t tell if the quivers in his voice is from him actually crying or if he’s playing some kind of role. either way, it’s the comedic relief this room desperately needed.

“better than any movie i’ve ever seen,” beomgyu adds while munching on a bite of popcorn. sieun looks at her side and grabs the bag, meeting stares with the boy in confusion.

“when did you get popcorn?”

beomgyu smirks as he stares at the trio inside, nodding his head mischievously. “i have my ways.”

ignoring the side conversation next to him, taehyun fondly stares at y/n, soobin, and yeonjun and sends them a thumbs up, the most genuine admiration in his eyes. he was hoping they would work it out and they did. he couldn’t be more proud of them than he is right now, and the trio feels it.

y/n scoots their chair back as they stand up, each boy following their lead. they stand there awkwardly and exchange some lost glances until they look ahead again.

“so…what now?” y/n calls out to the group. they see that they’re sharing some looks of their own, probably not expecting this event to go this far. after some murmurs, kai yells that he’ll let them out, forgetting to use the voice box. still, the trio can tell what he meant to say.

kai heads over to the door as taehyun follows right behind him. they see the doorknob jiggle until it opens, kai showcasing a bright smile to greet them. the trio is about to step foot until they see kai get pushed in, his yelps being heard throughout the room. the door closes shut yet again, the sound of the lock tying it together. taehyun heads back to join beomgyu and sieun and kai sends them a bewildered gaze.

“i think there’s more that needs to be said,” taehyun states as he nods towards yeonjun. they each look at him and yeonjun knows what he has to do as well.

the boy walks closer to kai as y/n and soobin move towards the opposite direction, giving them enough space. kai knows yeonjun is about to speak to him, but he’s still lost as to what. he was only convinced that it would be just them three who was doing the confronting.

“kai,” yeonjun talks lowly and kai’s expression softens. “i’m sorry for what i said to you that night. as you can tell, i was really upset. i used the situation at hand and took my frustrations out on you. just like y/n, i assumed you had something to do with it and that you were keeping secrets too. you’re not a suck up. the truth is, i was slightly jealous that y/n was spending their time with you. i shouldn’t have accused you of leaving me out on purpose, i know those were just mistakes. i shouldn’t have said you were taking y/n away from me. i shouldn’t have blamed you kai, you’re more than welcome to be in this group. i’m sorry.”

kai becomes speechless at yeonjun’s apology. in all honesty, he forgot that he was yelled at too. he’s been focused this entire time on saving the trio’s relationships that he didn’t realize he needed to be apologized to as well. he’s a bit flustered, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. yeonjun knows how kai can get, so he doesn’t take offense. he finds it quite endearing actually.

“don’t worry about it yeonjun,” kai replies almost breathless, a wholesome grin on his face. it doesn’t take long for him to forgive someone. “i just hope you know that you mean just as much to y/n like the rest of us do, if not even more. you still have your spot!”

yeonjun chuckles and looks back at y/n, being faced with an agreeing smile. he looks down at the ground momentarily before his own smile forms and looks back at kai. “i know.”

taehyun feels satisfied with that being resolved and walks over to the door to let everyone out all at once. what he doesn’t know is beomgyu is right behind him, ready to push him inside like the others. taehyun realizes this once he’s thrown in with everyone else, the famous door lock being heard again. he stares at beomgyu with fierce eyes. beomgyu can only return a dramatic wink.

“i’m sorry too, taehyun,” the boy whips back behind him when he hears his name, seeing that yeonjun is talking to him. for once, he’s a bit caught off guard as he’s not expecting an apology either. “i know i gave you the silent treatment after this all happened and that was mean, you didn’t deserve it. i also shouldn’t get petty not being able to call you by your nickname, i know y/n can have their thing with each of us too.”

taehyun is quite pleased hearing yeonjun’s words, finding him to come across mature. he nods at yeonjun acceptingly, finding that this doesn’t need words. they feel satisfied and taehyun looks over at beomgyu and sieun, gesturing that they’re all ready to leave and that they should open the door. the two get the signal and they walk over, as does taehyun. the door unlocks and beomgyu and sieun expect everyone to walk out, only to be dragged in by taehyun with their arms, earning a couple squeals from each of them.

now that they’re in the room, they wonder what else there could be. everyone else is confused, except for soobin. after seeing each of them dragged in one by one earning an apology, he knew he had another one to give too. soobin gives a couple steps towards the pair and they feel the attention being brought on them.

“hey guys,” soobin drags out in embarrassment. “i took out my frustrations on you and it wasn’t fair. i shouldn’t have said i wouldn’t be surprised if you guys lied to me, i know you wouldn’t. you were just trying to help me and i should’ve seen that. i was a total dick to you both and you didn’t deserve it, i’m sorry.”

if she was going to be honest, sieun expected to hear this. unlike beomgyu, she was more understanding of soobin’s behavior so she’s quick to forgive him for it. beomgyu, who was more hurt by soobin, appreciates this more than anyone else. he reaches out for soobin’s hand to which soobin returns, doing their friendship handshake before they pull in for a hug. everyone can’t help but be delighted. they pull apart and beomgyu moves to the middle, ready to announce.

“so are we all good enough to have dinner together?” he speaks to everyone, still in his carefree manner but deeply nervous that they’ll say no. “we were robbed of eating at that italian place.”

the room feels light again and everyone shares a laugh together, each saying some agreeing words. beomgyu’s elated and they all collectively agree to walk out, ready to share a meal together. each of them walk out one by one and as everyone slowly leaves the interrogation room, soobin and y/n fall behind. yeonjun is the last to walk out and sees the two still in their place and looks at them both.

“we’ll catch up,” y/n sends their friend a reassuring gaze. yeonjun glances at soobin and the two share a smile before yeonjun nods and leaves the room.

after the door closes y/n moves in front of soobin so that they're facing each other. they’ve been through a lot lately and today was certainly a day. although they’re on good terms again, they can’t help but wonder where things will go for them. they were dating, yes, but they never exactly broke up.

“so…what happens with us?” soobin feels the need to ask. he’s not exactly worried, the fact that he and y/n resolved things satisfies him enough. he just wants to be in their life, regardless of the title.

“well,” y/n steps a little closer and they’re both in each other’s space. they look up at the boy with big eyes. “do you still like me?”

“yeah, i do,” soobin confirms with a dimpled smile, the one y/n has been wanting to see. “and i missed you.”

that eases y/n’s heart after having the roughest night yesterday. looking through their texts, wondering if soobin still missed him like he said he’d never stop doing.

“i missed you too,” they reply honestly and add another thing more slyly. “and i still like you too.”

soobin lets out a squeaky laugh, one that y/n has never heard before but they love it so much. “so what do we do now?”

y/n contemplates on the spot. though things are well now, they shouldn’t rush into anything. they both need to adjust to these circumstances, after all, soobin and yeonjun have just barely made up. y/n considers yeonjun’s feelings and feels like he needs to get used to this too. everyone needs to feel comfortable.

“i think we should take it slow,” y/n offers carefully, looking at soobin to make sure he seems to be on board. “we both like each other, that’s enough. i think we should take it one step at a time.”

soobin reaches down for y/n’s hands as he intertwines them. y/n closes their lips together in hopes that he’s in agreement.

“sounds good to me.”

soobin and y/n begin to head to the door, y/n shutting off the lights as soobin opens the door, and the pair walk out together feeling lighter than they ever have.

…

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

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space-mermaid-writing · 2 years

Text

The witchling and the god [Loki x Witch!Reader] Chapter 7

Summary: The Avengers were looking for someone to help Loki fit in with the team. To become socially acceptable, so to speak. He had been given the choice of sitting in a cell in Asgard or serving some sort of community service probation on Midgard. The Avengers and Shield both felt that as long as Loki was on Earth, he should be under supervision. This is now your job. Why? Because you’re a witch. You’re not sure why this qualifies you, but here you are, giving it a shot. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Witch!Reader, Magic, Witches, slow burn, everybody lives in the tower, character development, Loki‘s redemption, Stephen Strange is a friend, Loki and Stephen are frenemies, Tony Stark is a good bro, kids love Loki, Tony has stupid nicknames for everybody, eventual smut

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Read it on AO3 | Previous | Next

Chapter's Note: Y’all probably have questions. I have the answers. So let’s go a few minutes back and see what happened before everything went shit. You’ll find a link for a song in the second part of this chapter. It inspired me writing this whole part of the story and sets the mood. Also be prepared to be educated on Norse mythology. Beta by @zaria-04 <3

Chapter 7: A weak heart

Loki follows Nurse Chapel into the boy's room. "Please be careful with him and don't upset him. He has a weak heart," the head nurse warns him.

Loki nods.

The hospital room is neutrally furnished. The centerpiece is a bed on which a pale boy lies. Several tubes lead from him to machines next to the bed. He receives oxygen and an infusion. The head end of the bed is elevated and he has a thick pillow under him, so he is almost in a sitting position. He has the blanket only half over him and he seems to be enjoying the cooler temperatures. Under his gown at chest level, the outline of an angular apparatus can be seen, which he seems to be wearing on his body. Every few seconds, a small green dot flashes under the fabric.

The room smells sterile, cool, and like something Loki remembers from wartime sick bays. It’s death lurking in the corner waiting for time to come.

"Felix, this is Loki," introduces Chapel to the Asgardian.

The boy, Felix, turns his head to Loki, who had stepped to the other side of the bed and eyes him curiously. He looks tired, dark circles under his eyes and dry, torn lips that he slowly pulls into a smile. "Hey." His voice is soft and croaks.

"Hello," Loki greets him.

Nurse Chapel gives him an encouraging nod and then retreats back to the windows, where she busies herself changing the water in the flower vases and airing the room.

"You don't have to act, you know," Felix says. "I know you are not the real Loki. No offense."

"None taken."

"Do you know anything about Norse mythology?"

"I do. What do you want to know?" Loki recognize that look. When someone is looking for answers. Because they know time is slipping through their fingers and their thoughts automatically turn to what may come after. Whether they're Asgardian or human.

"What happens after death?"

Loki takes a seat at the edge of the bed. "Everyone is made up of four parts," Loki explains what his mother taught him as a child. "The body, Hamr, disappears from this world after death. Then Flygja, which I guess you humans see as a totem or a familiar spirit. Hugr is your personality or character. This is what will move into the afterlife after death. And last, Hamingja, a part given to you by your ancestors and passed on to descendants within the family."

The boy listens to him attentively. "So Hugr is the part that could go to Valhalla? But only brave warriors are allowed there. And I have never been strong enough to fight in my life." It's a lot of words for him and it makes him cough. He points to a glass standing by his side of the bed. Loki hands it to him and helps him take a few sips.

He takes the time to think meanwhile and answers only after he puts the glass back. "In my eyes, you are strong and brave. Those are good qualifications for Valhalla. But it's also possible that you'll see Helgafjell."

"Hel?"

"Not Helheim. Helgafjell, the holy mountain. Where the dead are reunited with their families and loved ones. It is a place of home and happiness.

"That sounds beautiful. But my family doesn't believe in it. So they probably won't be there."

"Everyone has their own beliefs. But who says there can't be different terms for the same thing?" Loki says.

Felix thinks about that for a while, then nods. "I like that."

"If you have a good heart, you'll get to a good place."

"My heart is not good. That's why there's this thing on it." The boy grins at his joke, but it looks painfully distorted.

For a while they sit in silence.

Loki looks at all the apparatus and machines, listening to the soft beeping and rattling of oxygen. "I have seen many warriors on battlefields in the face of death," he then says, turning his head back to the boy. "Few have been as calm and collected in the process as you."

Felix bites his lips and looks away. "I'm scared," he admits.

"Do you trust your faith?"

"I… think so."

"Then that's stronger than your fear."

Felix's eyes look up at him. "You're good," he murmurs, rather tired from the conversation. "A good Loki."

The Asgardian does not reply. He does nothing but sit here and talk to the boy, telling him what he himself learned at a young age. He is not good at offering hope or comfort. That would be something his mother would have been better at. Even Thor probably would have found words to inspire the boy and strengthen his fighting spirit. That's what the oaf was good at. Loki merely tells tales.

"Do you know the meaning of runes?" he asks after a while of silence.

Felix, who had closed his eyes for a moment, blinks and nods. "Yes."

Nurse Chapel is still in the room, but she gives the two men privacy in their conversation. Loki is sitting with his back to her, so he knows she won't notice as he moves his finger in the air and draws a symbol. Golden light follows his movements and for a brief moment the image of a rune appears.

Felix's eyes widen.

"Eihwaz," Loki says. "It symbolizes life and death. Transitions and renewals. As soon as a yew tree dies, a new tree emerges inside the decaying trunk. It is a rune with great magical power. It helps in overcoming challenges."

With a flick of his wrist, a flat pebble appears in his hand. Tiny sparkles etching that very rune on it. He places it in Felix's hand. The boy looks at it and then back at Loki. He opens his mouth, but the Asgardian puts his finger to his lips and winks. It would remain their secret. The boy seems to like that, because he smiles and embraces the stone. Then he coughs again, this time more urgent.

On the edge of his mind, Loki notices an irregularity in the beeping of the machine. Nurse Chapel appears at the bedside and looks at the boy with concern. "Felix?" He doesn't answer, but his coughing calms down again. The beeping stops for a moment. Felix's gaze is on Loki. His lips move in two short syllables, but no more sound comes out. Goosebumps spread over Loki's arms. He recognizes death when he looks it in the eye.

Then an alarm starts in the hallway, Loki hears it through the ajar door. At the same time, the machines here in the room give off various warning signals. The head nurse pushes the Asgardian aside and rushes to action. Several doctors and nurses come rushing into the room. They crowd around the bed, blocking the view of the boy.

Loki backs away against the wall. He doesn't need to see Felix to know what's happening. He senses the crushing silence of death in the room, even as the doctors still try to stop it, to bring the boy back. The shrill, drawn-out beeping of the machine pricks his ear like a needle.

The door opens again and he sees you enter. Your expression is horrified as you realize what is going on. Your head turns to him and your eyes meet. He screwed up. Loki sees it on your face, the panic spreading through it. It's too much for him. All of this. Almost reflexively, he disappears, taking flight before you can take another step toward him.

This is bad.

This is the absolute worst.

You step back into the hallway, where the two agents have jumped on their feet. "Loki's gone," you inform them, "I don't know where to."

It reminds you of your lunch date at the restaurant, when you also thought he had disappeared. Luckily, you found him quickly back then and he had only wanted to help the girl who was lost. Maybe now you are lucky again and he just went out for some fresh air.

You hear the doctors turn off the heart monitor. This time the situation is different.

To the credit of the two agents, they are absolutely calm. "Inform Stark, Miss, we'll check if he's in the building," one of them instructs you, while the other has already started moving.

You nod and pull out your cell phone. If you were in your witch's kitchen or had more equipment with you, you might be able to find out where Loki disappeared to. Unfortunately, you have no choice but to call Tony.

The Viking Prayer Lo, there do I see my father. Lo, there do I see my mother, and my sisters, and my brothers. Lo, there do I see the line of my people, Back to the beginning! Lo, they do call to me. They bid me take my place among them, In the holy mountain of Helgafjell! Where the brave may live forever!

Loki stands on a beach and stares at the horizon. It's hard to tell where the sea ends and the sky begins. The wind rushes through his hair, tangling it. The fresh sea air feels good in his lungs. There's something very soothing about it. He could spend an eternity here.

The beach is empty, no one is here but him. He feels comfortable in solitude - that's what he has always told himself. But it doesn't make his heart less heavy.

Above the gentle sound of the waves, he hears a familiar sound as Thor lands near him with Mjölnir.

Thor takes a few steps toward him, glad to have found the younger prince at last. Still, he remains wary, for he is unsure of his motives. "Brother!"

Loki finally turns to face him. Thor sees the tears in his eyes, though Loki quickly blinks them away. Thor's demeanor shifts instantly and he drops his hammer to the sand, realizing he doesn't have to use it. "What happened?" he asks softly.

Loki's gaze shifts to the ground. "It's been a long time since I've seen a young warrior boy go to the other side."

It shouldn't affect him so much. It was just a young Midgardian boy. He hadn't even known him for more than fifteen minutes.

But Loki can't forget his last glance. The boy’s lips moving, his last word Loki didn't understand. Loki wonders if it was his name, a silent prayer to a god. He could give him no mercy. He had no control over where his soul would go. Loki had been unable to do anything for him. He had failed him. Just another one in a long line of disappointed ones.

He gasps for air as Thor pulls him into a tight bearhug.

At first Loki is too perplexed to react, just awkwardly puts his hands on Thor's back. But the elder doesn't let go of him until Loki relaxes. Thor has always been able to give the best hugs and Loki realizes how much he's missed them. It feels good to know his brother is here with him and he breathes a deep sigh of relief.

Quite a while passes before they break away from each other and Thor speaks up again. "Tell me about him."

And so Loki tells his brother about the boy, about Felix’ struggle and about his last moments in this life.

Hours have passed and Loki still hasn't shown up.

Tony had cursed when you called him, but you have to give him credit that he jumped right into action and took all the necessary steps. He sent one of his Iron Man suits out as a search drone and Thor also set out to find his brother.

The two agents who had been with you had searched the entire hospital and its surroundings, but found nothing.

You went back to the tower, where you immediately performed a tracking spell, but without getting any results. Wherever Loki was, he didn't want to be found by you.

Finally, you make your way to the large lounge upstairs to distract yourself while you wait. First you try to read, then cook. But you can't concentrate. You keep checking your phone to see if there's an update.

Secretly, you blame yourself. Maybe you should have been more careful. Maybe the whole thing had been a bad idea. Maybe you should have gone with him into the room. But you're not a babysitter and no matter how you spin it, you wouldn't have wanted to do anything differently.

Finally you hear noises on the terrace and you see through the large windows that Thor and Loki have landed on the platform outside. Relieved, you rush to meet them as they enter in silence. "Loki!"

When he sees you, his expression darkens. It makes you stop in your tracks, as you fear he'll disappear again if you come any closer.

"How are you feeling?"

Your question seems to surprise him. He expected you to be angry about his disappearance. "I’m fine," he replies simply.

"Are you sure?" you ask, because you're not convinced. You take a step toward him and see his reddened eyes. He notices your gaze and turns his head away, just walking past you.

"It wasn’t the first dead person I've seen," he informs you coolly.

You recognize that tone by now as the mask he puts on. You can only guess how he feels underneath.

"There's no shame in mourning the dead," Thor interjects, but his brother ignores him.

Before Loki can leave you both, you follow him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face you. He opens his mouth in protest, but by then you've already pulled him into an embrace.

For the second time today, he is surprised by this. It shows how little he is used to it. You hear him inhale and exhale deeply, his warm breath against the crook of your neck.

"The doctors said it was heart failure," you murmur just enough for him to hear. "He had a donor heart, but his body rejected it. There was nothing that could be done."

"Mhm." Loki breaks away from you, but you stubbornly hold onto his hand.

"It wasn't your fault," you tell him plainly. You don't know if that's what he needs to hear, but you feel it necessary to mention it.

He nods, but doesn't meet your eyes. He withdraws his hand from you and then leaves the lounge without another word. You look after him, wondering if you should go after him.

You turn your head to Thor, who has stepped beside you and is also looking worriedly after his brother.

"Give him some time, Lady Witch. Loki is processing things in his own way," he advises you.

You hope he's right. "Thank you for finding him," you tell him.

"Of course, he's my brother," the thunder god says. "If anything, I have you to thank for taking such good care of him and giving him a second chance."

You force a smile. It's your job to take care of Loki, but you don't want to say it like that. You realize it's more than just a simple job for you. You don't know yet what to do with that knowledge. At some point, you'll have to face the consequences. But for now, you will just tell Tony that Loki has reappeared.

________________________________________

This was a heavy chapter but I really wanted to write it. There will be happy times soon.

Tag List: @lokisgoodgirl @lokixryss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @yokshi-unbeliebubble @fictional-hooman @elennair @all-envy-suyu @purplekitten30 @elisadmaggiore @nothing2113 @baebeepeach @ceo-of-stfu @moonlightreader649 @ronipiamka @fluffybunnyu @ninjarose23 @ozymdias @huntress-artemiss @thedistractedagglomeration @rosaline-black

#loki x y/n #Loki x reader #loki layfeyson x you #loki laufesyon x reader #Loki x you #imagine loki #the witchling and the god #imagine marvel #mcu prompt #loki odison x reader #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #loki fanfction #slow burn #loki odinson #loki laufeyson

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