#when Rhine and Alice come out

[monards]

i so desperately need an albedo focus event. Withdrawal symptoms.

#adghhhjjjn #so long… #last time he was substantial was windblume #but windblume was a wild time #and gonna be a year old in not too long #I get there’s a lot of characters in genshin… #… but cmon #hes endgame hoyo I want to see him again #we have two nations left #and I miss him #and Klee #when Rhine and Alice come out #I don’t just want #I NEED a family focus event with those 4. #PLEASSEEE #albedo

[doodlebugbaby]

CG!Xiao and a weepy smallbedo hcs

These two get along very well actually!

Albedos homunculus nature prevents him from being impacted by Xiaos karmic debt, allowing for that close connection.

They're both quiet and introverted, so neither minds long silences when they're together. (They are both so touch starved and socially awkward, oh my goodness)

They are both fascinated by humanity as well. Xiao likes to listen to Albedos observations and stories

Xiao is a curious overseer of the humans in his care, who wants to get closer but cant for fear of bringing harm. Albedo is a being made to pass as a human, who can mimic them easily but is out of his depth when interacting with them. But they both love humanity and want to know more about them, as hard as it is for them both.

In regards to regression, Xiao fell into a caregiver role easily. He already had a soft spot for children. He sees them as fragile innocents, who need his attentive gaze the most.Does he understand why they are the way they are? Nope. But he cares for them anyways

As for Albedo, he never really had a childhood in the traditional sense.

Rhine was never really a maternal figure to him, no matter how much he wanted that connection with her. He ended up with a rather poor experience of childhood, as she never nurtured him in the way she really should have. Especially when he was first created.

Alice is his first real experience with having such a loving parental figure in his life, but he still hasnt had the real "childhood" experince. Thats why his and Xiaos caregiving relationship is so good for them, he gets a bit of a do over!

One small issue is, Albedo gets easily overwhelmed even while big. A mix of sensory issues, trauma, and having been taught little to no coping skills He keeps bottling up big feelings and not taking care of himself? You get a cranky baby!

He often regresses involuntarily if he gets too tired, or gets set off by something. So poor Xiao will suddenly have a very weepy baby on his hands!

After the first few times he does get the hang of it. Usually Albedo just needs a calmer place to cool back down, and a safe area to work through his big emotions. Xiaos teleportation comes in rather handy for this! Baby starts to get upset or teary eyed? Scoop them up and zoom to the inn! Help them calm back down before returning to play.

Xiao is awkward with emotions, but babies dont usualy need to be talked through their feelings. They just need a bigger person to help calm them back down, which he can learn quickly! And they can always discuss it more when Albedos big again.

#fandom agere #agere #sfw agere #agere fandom #genshin agere #agere albedo #agere xiao #age regression #age regression headcanons #((oh wow this uh. took a while. #((i tried a new format to help with flow and an easier time writing for me #((thank you for your patience as always

[reilliane]

reilliane- RELI- alternate universe where Kazuha actually buries his wanderlust under the dirt and enjoys life with v!mc(who obv knows what kazuha’s doing and subtly makes him wander out abit more by sending him on errands.) for a few years, but every kazuha must submit to their desire to wander.

or, or — now this one is albedo—, rhinedottir actually made 2 prototypes. the first being a female one she created as a test and pretty much made on a whim(this one was co-created by alice. rhine did all the alchemic-sciency-frankenstien things while alice created the look and gave them a name[rhine wanted to just name her ‘prototype #1 ; test’ and alice went “NOPE :D!” slams a sheet of paper with names listed on it onto the table, “Pick a name, any name! All are lovely!”[i imagine she says it like those circus ppl who are like, advertising their show or smth].). the second (primodial) being a male and being, basically the ground layout for her most prized possession, albedo.

Both of them ([name] <- bc w/ this i dont read ‘yen’ & primodial guy) being thrown away and fed to durin</3. They both aid each other in leaving the (now dead) dragon’s stomach. Primodial goes on a path of inferiority complex and revenge or smth, while [name] just lives life🤷‍♀️. She bumps into Albedo — he legitimately froze when he saw her, he had seen his master’s notes and drawings of her previous two ‘failed’ homunculi. he thought that they were.. well, dead though. but then again he had gone through the whole ‘who’s who?’ fiasco with his bitter imposter. — and just smiles, tilting her head to the side and her eyes, though dull and emotionless, carry a familiar sparkle from his new family. “albedo” she says his name with an unsure voice, eyes never leaving his almost as if she was inspecting him. “was it? sorry, i wasnt exactly around when master planned you.”

Albedo flinches and immediately covers her mouth with his hands. To outsiders, an uncharacteristic move. To her and whomever may know of their origins, a panicked and fearful move desperate to keep it under the rug. “Sorry.” She removes his hands, “Let’s talk in that freezer-lab, yeah?”

-🦧i just love that albedo brainrot and i tried writing a fic outta it in my own blog but just ended up posting a wip😔 anyway, [Name] is alice’s ‘first’ daughter. So big sister![Name] and little brother!Albedo(+primodial) and little sister!Klee :DD (also, also, maybe [name] has a bit of alice’s personality). Mm, bed time for real now.

Kazuha sacrificing his desire to wander (albeit for a short while) in order to just live life with MC :((( my hart, my hART

Ofc MC's still aware that Kazuha probably wants to wander n all, I like to think she hints that her bro can do as he wishes. She'll be fiiiiiine~

When the time comes that Kazu prolly does want to go, he'll invite nee-san the same way he did in Resolve. Cause cmon, MC may not have a vision but she has a superpower and that's called being a nee-san-/SLAPPED

aw, kazu hungry? no worries, she can whip up a feast even out in the wild.

is that a hilichurl about to smack him?? pUNCH ‾͟͟͞(((ꎤˋ⁻̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o

the prICE For THiS ProDUcT Is maDLy HIgh? She didnt learn all those lessons for nothing, she about to talk business with a 🤗🤗 face

—

(i felt that reading y/n as 'yen' LMAO though in my case i read it yin JSDHAJKDHAS)

that idea is cool! just albedo gaping like "omygo i heard about you sis"

imagine primordial just showing up to enact revenge and instead finds his twin with albedo lmao 😭💀

he's like, unleashing this elsa snowstorm then sees MC along with the group and then trying to take it bacK LIKE:

"YAW WHAT THE SHUCK ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE??? GET BACK HERE WOMAN THIS INSTANT"

#moonlitchat #🦧 anon #queued #m-vigil

[fictionkinfessions]

Finished Windblume!! (so SPOILERS for anyone who hasnt finished it yet)

And wow!

FUCK RHINEDOTTIR!

MA'AM YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND ALBEDO'S THE ONLY CHILD YOU MADE THAT "SURVIVED."

YOU DONT GET TO TRY AND ACT LIKE EVERYONE BEFORE HIM DIED. LIKE THE REST OF US WERE SOME WEIRD HOMONCULI EQUIVALENT TO A MISCARIAGE.

YOU FUCKING THREW. ME. AWAY. OF YOUR OWN VOLITION! YOU FED ME TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING DRAGON. WHILE I WAS ALIVE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS. AND JUST HOPED I'D DIE AND NEVER TURN UP AGAIN. WHY? SO YOU COULD CONCEAL YOUR LIES???

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER! YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY IT SEEMS ALICE DIDNT FUCKIGN KNOW WHAT YOU DID BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM HER EVER BEING OKAY WITH YOU THROWING OUT A LIVING BREATHING BABY. (even if I dont remember us ever being children, the event visuals clearly show we WERE infants at one time within canon.)

IM SO FUCKING MAD! IM PISSED! THAT THIS WOMAN IS GOING AROUND ACTING LIKE ALBEDO'S HER LITTLE MIRACLE CHILD AND SHES SO LUCKY TO HAVE THIS ONE LITTLE THING WHEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD AT LEAST TWO! WHO FUCKING KNOWS HOW MANY LIVING BABIES RHINE THREW OUT BEFORE ME IN CANON.

I'm not looking forward to how the fandoms gonna pretend she didnt say this! Or at least not fucking recognize what shes implying!

Bitch you dont get to PRETEND I NEVER EXISTED! Or that you didnt THROW ME OUT LIKE TRASH BECAUSE I WASNT "GOOD ENOUGH" FOR YOU! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER THROWS OUT HER CHILD FOR THAT REASON? I WASNT CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT? WHAT MADE ALBEDO DIFFERENT? HE'S NOT PERFECT EITHER BUT YOU FUCKING KEPT HIM! WAS DURIN JUST FULL THAT NIGHT? CANT FEED HIM TWO BABIES?

GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATED YOU BEFORE BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT THINK CANON WOULD MAKE YOU THIS BAD! I THOUGHT MY OWN TIMELINE WOULD BE WORSE, BUT NO. CANON IS!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! THE OTHER MAGES SHOULD HATE YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A MOTHER. YOU DONT DESERVE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHATEVER MISERABLE FATE IS COMING FOR YOU. DEATH ISNT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO ATONE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE DONE AND THE LIES YOU'RE SPEWING. Luckly Celestia already made sure death isnt a fucking option for you. I'd say you're the only Khaenri'ahn that fucking deserves it.

GOD I fucking HOPE I HOPE I come back in the future. I hope that I turn up and everyone sees how much of a shit person you fucking are, Rhinedottir. Albedo seems to know at least! I want Alice to know! You're closest friend! I want her view of you to shatter so hard she'll hunt you down herself! Because there is NO FUCKING WAY She'd ever be okay with this! Not with how quickly she'll jump to adopting anyone in need of a good mother! Because CELESTIA KNOWS YOU'RE NOT ONE. I hope that if you EVER get a chance to apologize in canon, you'll take it. And nobody around will accept it, even if it's straight to me. Because you don't deserve forgiveness. I want you to lose everything. And it still wont be good enough.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope you're fucking miserable in this life if you're out there because you don't deserve SHIT and Karma's a fucking BITCH.

~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟ Who genuinely didn't think his hatred of Rhinedottir could get WORSE but has been proven oh so very wrong.

🫘

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #rubedokin #genshinimpactkin #caps cw #chara hate #child abuse cw #prevabuse #abandonment cw #murder cw #death cw #child death cw #fandom issue #slurs #canonng issue #mod party cat

[heibedo-posting]

Honey Dew

❀ genre: hurt/comfort

❀ warnings: allusions to homophobia, uhhh heizou cries a good amount, thats about it

❀ summary: even when those supposed to love unconditionally turn on him, there's still that one beacon of light and love at the end of the tunnel (modern au)

❀ word count: 1.4k

❀ notes: omg he lives! no but in all seriousness, sorry for falling off the face of the earth after one fic lol ^^" this was written at the request of one of my friends

Albedo hums quietly as he tidies up around his room. Books and papers were scattered around the floor, the result of his sister having ‘too much fun’. His hand reaches to pick up another book when his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He picks up seeing the name ‘Kazuha’ on his screen,

“Hey Kazu what’s-”

“Someone needs to come get Heizou,” The soft voice cuts him off over the phone. “Like, now. Right now.”

Doe-like eyes scan the room warily as he heads out in search of his moms. He’s never heard Kazuha so panicked in his whole time knowing the quiet boy.

“What’s going on?” Albedo switches the call to speaker when he finds Rhinedottir and Alice sitting in the living room. Their heads turn to him, immediately taking note of his worried expression.

“His parents.. uhm..,” Kazuha trails off, somewhat distant sobbing and hiccuping heard more clearly. “Long story short, he doesn’t wanna go home and no one else can take him in.”

The blonde’s heart sinks at the mention of his boyfriend’s parents. He was well aware of them not being anywhere near as accepting of them as his moms. Frantic eyes flicker between the two women, words caught in his throat. Alice stands up quickly, dragging her wife up with her.

“Give us the location and we’ll be there,” She quickly says. Rhine instinctively starts patting herself down looking for her keys, walking off to find them.

Kazuha’s voice is louder than usual, concern dripping from his tone, “Please hurry. It looks like it’s about to rain.” The redhead’s hiccups and sobs can still be heard on the other end. The others make arrangements for what’s to come next, leaving the stunned blonde clutching his phone tightly in silence.

---

Swollen fox-like eyes look to the sound of a car slowing to a stop, a small smile pulling on his lips. His head lifts from the other boy’s shoulder. Heizou quickly brings up his hands to rub at his reddened eyes, feeling more tears ready to spill any second. Alice rushes out of the car the second it stops, being by his side almost instantly.

“Oh honey..,” Her voice trails off slightly as she brings a hand up to wipe at his eyes.

Heizou jumps at the sudden contact, slowly relaxing and leaning into her touch. Another round of sobs rip through his throat as he reaches up to grip at her hand. As if she would disappear any second.

Rhinedottir gets out of the car as well, her blue eyes softening at the sight in front of her. She kneels down in front of the crying boy and pulls him into her arms gently. He reaches out towards the shorter of the two again, needing to feel that they’re both real and there. Alice holds his hand and gently squeezes.

The cat-like boy stands off to the side awkwardly, playing with the rings hugging his fingers. He opts to say a soft goodbye and start walking home. The last thing he wanted was to be caught up when it started raining.

Heizou sniffles quietly and weakly clears his throat, “‘Bedo.. wanna see ‘Bedo.” His voice is shaky and almost inaudible. The couple nods, separating from the teary boy but making sure not to go far.

The three push up from the ground, the redhead almost falling over in the process. They get in the car and start on the way back to an all too familiar home. Comfortable silence envelopes the vehicle every so often, at times being broken by conversation. Gentle red eyes constantly look in the rearview mirror. Alice kept a close eye on him while her wife drove.

---

Albedo’s ears perk up at the sound of the front door opening. He practically sprints down the stairs, almost knocking into his moms. Doe-like eyes quickly scan the trio before locking with tired green ones. Light footsteps echo loudly in his ears as he approaches his boyfriend. Before he can open his mouth to speak, Heizou pulls him in close.

Red locks tickle against the older’s neck as he wraps his own arms securely around the other’s shaky frame. His eyes lock with his mothers’, the sadness in his eyes obvious. He hated seeing Heizou like this. It felt so wrong seeing him like this.

“We’ll be back later,” Rhine’s voice breaks the silence. “There are some things we need to pick up at the store.” Her son nods in acknowledgment. The redhead stays glued to the poor blonde, opting to only wave them off.

The front door clicks shut once again behind the two women, leaving only Heizou and Albedo in the house. His little sister was at a sleepover at Diona’s house tonight. The blonde was somewhat grateful for that. He knows how much his boyfriend dislikes being seen in such a vulnerable state.

He gently pulls the other’s head from his neck, locking eyes with the boy. “Let’s head up to my room, yeah? It’s probably more comfy up there.”

Red hair falls in front of tired eyes from frantic nodding. A quiet giggle leaves the shorter boy at the sight, red erupting on the fox-like boy’s face. He whines and smacks at the older’s chest lightly. Another laugh leaves Albedo’s mouth as he takes hold of the other’s hand. The pair walk up the stairs, stopping while the blonde opened his door.

Inside the room was a fort-like blanket structure over a neatly made bed. It was overall a very cozy atmosphere, green eyes looking around in curiosity. He’s guided to the bed and panics slightly when his hand is let go. Heizou goes to make a quippy remark, but it dies all too quickly on his tongue when the shorter of the two lays down. Inviting arms are held out to him and he takes no extra time to get between them.

Heizou rests his head on Albedo’s chest, inhaling his familiar scent to calm himself down. He absolutely adored the smell of vanilla and lemon mixed with a slight hint of fresh paint. His body relaxes almost completely, tears long forgotten. The blonde was his safe space, the thought of being sad in his presence foreign to him.

“Y’know..,” Albedo trails off, trying to formulate a proper sentence. “For people who raised such an amazing young man, your folks really don't seem to live up to that.”

The redhead snorts at that, pressing his face into the older’s chest. He’d almost forgotten why he ended up here in the first place. Fingers gently grab his chin to turn his head, his eyes locking with ones so full of love and adoration. He can feel his heart melt in his chest.

Big blue eyes scan over Heizou’s face, humming when their eyes meet again, “I say fuck what they think. They’re the ones at a loss here for not loving you for the perfect boy you are.”

Heat rushes across the taller boy’s face, unable to hide with the hold on his chin. His boyfriend chuckles quietly, a blush of his own blooming on his cheeks. It felt nice to be the one doing the flustering for once. Albedo leans forward to press a quick kiss to the other’s lips, pulling away with a smile when Heizou chases after him.

His face moves closer again to press gentle kisses to the moles below Heizou’s eyes and his nose. He finally loosens his hold on his angel’s face, opting to bury his hand in messy red locks instead. Careful fingers tousle the strands slightly, earning an appreciative hum in response. They enjoy the comfortable silence for a while. As long as they were close to each other, words weren’t necessary.

Puffy green eyes slowly droop closed. The sound of a stable heartbeat next to his ear was lulling him into a peaceful nap, grip around his partner tightening a little.

“You getting sleepy, my love?” Albedo’s voice snaps him out of his trance for a moment, earning a small nod in response. “Go ahead, I’m not going anywhere.”

Heizou can feel a kiss being pressed to his forehead and temple, giving in to the urge to fully close his eyes. Soft snores sound throughout the room after a few minutes. A smile tugs at the blonde’s lips as he too closes his eyes to rest with his boyfriend.

#heibedo-posting #genshin impact #genshin #genshin rarepair #albedo #shikanoin heizou #heibedo #genshin hurt/comfort

[foreverinthepagesofhistory]

which was a result of a 20 foot fall out of a window

whaaat?? was that the nanny's fault?

Okay so this ask is referring to my post about Prince Friedrich “Frittie” of Hesse and By Rhine’s death by falling 20 feet out of a window and having a cerebral hemorrhage because of that fall. The story is that when Prince Ernst Louis of Hesse (later Grand Duke), his younger brother Frittie, and their mother Princess Alice of Hesse (née United Kingdom) were playing in their mother’s room and Ernie ran into another room and looked out of the window to Frittie. The rooms were at an angle where both people could see each other when looking out of the windows. Alice went into the room that Ernie was in to bring him back into the bedroom to keep playing. Frittie wanted to join Ernie so he climbed onto a chair but it tipped over sending him falling from the 20 foot high window

Frittie’s death was so tragic and shocking and broke many of his family members hearts. His mother was so distraught that she often prayed at his grave.

On coming home, found a telegram from Fräulein Bauer saying: “Pce Fritz has fallen out of the window, no wounds, but he is unconscious, & the Princess is in the greatest anxiety.” Dreadfully shocked & alarmed. Telegraphed at once to dear Alice & Fräulein Bauer, asking to hear again, & when we were at luncheon I telegraphed to Fanny Baillie for details, as to how the accident happened. Alas! before this was sent off I got a telegram from Pss Charles of Hesse saying “Poor Fritz just expired.” That was after 1. Too, too dreadful, my poor darling Alice! This was such a pretty sweet boy on whom poor dear Alice doted. His health had often caused his parents great anxiety.

— Queen Victoria’s diary entry on May 29th 1873

“When I die, you must die too, and all the others. Why can’t we all die together? I don’t want to die alone, like Frittie”

— A five-year old Prince Ernst Louis of Hesse (later Grand Duke), 1873

“It was just four weeks yesterday since our darling died, and we went to the Mausoleum. I felt the whole weight of my sorrow, and the terrible shock doubly again. But the precious child does not — that is a comfort. He is happy and at rest, whilst we grieve and mourn. Ernie always prays for Frittie, and talks to me of him when we walk together.”

— Princess Alice to Queen Victoria, 27th June 1873

(Photo: Alice and her children mourning Frittie, 1873) Alice was a very hands on mother and she wanted to bring up her children in a loving environment and very much wanted to be an active mother in her children’s lives. To answer your question, the Nanny was probably tending to another child at this time (probably Princess Alix who was only 1 year old).

I hope this very thought out answer helps and as always, thank you for asking!

#answered ask #prince frittie of hesse #prince friedrich #prince friedrich of hesse #friedrich of hesse #frittie of hesse #frittie #princess alice #princess alice of hesse #grand duke ernst louis of hesse #1873

[rhas-writes]

Just stumbled across your ex archon fics and had to scream for a little bit because like omg? That’s such a great concept???

And the fact that you mention that Gold is someone we actually knew? Like holy crap I love that! Because now I’m just like ‘heheheh imagining rolling up to Tsurumi and seeing your friends doggos have just decided this is their new home now’ and like I’m so curious about how we’d react to Albedo! And like, Albedo’s story mentions that Gold told him to seek out her friend Alice, so would we have meet Klee’s mom before too? Would we know about Rubedo as he vibes out in Dragonspine plotting his replacement attempts?

LIKE I LOVE THIS CONCEPT AAAAAAA

Ah thank you so much for sending this. I got hit with the biggest wave of writer's block but your excitement kept me going :,) I just posted Albedo's edition to this Fallen Archon Reader! concept, but to answer your questions and a little more context:

Yes! Reader does know Alice! I'm not sure how old Alice is so I don't know if they would know each other from Khaenri'ah or after but they have gone on adventures together.

Reader was "reborn/resurrected" (idk the term I wanna use yet) about 150 years before the start of Genshin's storyline. So, from Khaenri'ah's destruction to then, they don't know much. When they start meeting other characters and forming relationships with them is like 5-2 years before the story begins.

Reader is constantly searching for the answers to Khaenri'ah even as she makes a home in Mondstat.

Rubedo knows Reader! Reader was there for his creation, even helping Gold test his abilities. They were sad when Rhinedottir (Gold) considered him a failure and mourned him when Rhinedottir placed him into Durin.

Therefore, Reader knows Rubedo's corpse is on Dragonspine. They don't realize he's alive until the events of 2.3, but Reader does get the odd feeling someone is watching them whenever they're on the mountain.

I refer to Rhinedottir as Rhine or Rhinedotter when writing because Reader knew Rhine as a decent person. Strict and ambitious but not evil, yet.

When Reader eventually makes it to Tsurumi Island, they are shocked and saddened to see what's become of the Rifthounds.

Let's not forget Reader is born of the Light and Abyss realm. As a god, they aided Rhine by using their light element to combat the corruption that comes with the Abyss.

Anyways, that's all for now I think. But thank you again for sharing your thoughts! It means a lot to me and gives me motivation to keep writing!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #khaenri'ah #rubedo #albedo kreideprinz #genshin headcanons #reader insert #rhinedottir

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I have always appreciated your thoughtful views on the defence of the British monarchy, and as a university historian it’s reassuring to see someone using history to make invalubale insights to a controversial institution. I wonder what are your own thoughts on the passing of Prince Philip and what his legacy might be? Was he a gaffe prone racist and a liability to the Queen?

I know you kindly got in touch and identified yourself when you felt I was ignoring your question. I’m glad we cleared that up via DM. The truth is as I said and I’m saying here is that I had to let some time pass before I felt I could reasonably answer this question. Simply because - as you know as someone who teaches history at university - distance is good to make a sober appraisal rather than knee jerk in the moment judgements.

Contrary to what some might think I’m not really a fan girl when it comes to the royal family. I don’t religiously follow their every movement or utterance especially as I live in Paris and therefore I don’t really care about tabloid tittle tattle. I only get to hear of anything to do with the royal family when I speak to my parents or my great aunts and uncles for whom the subject is closer to their heart because of the services my family has rendered over past generations to the monarchy and the older (and dying) tight knit social circles they travel in.

Like Walter Bagehot, I’m more interested in the monarchy as an institution and its constitutional place within the historical, social, and political fabric of Britain and its continued delicate stabilising importance to that effect. It was Walter Bagehot, the great constitutional scholar and editor the Economist magazine, who said, “The mystic reverence, the religious allegiance, which are essential to a true monarchy, are imaginative sentiments that no legislature can manufacture in any people.” In his view, a politically-inactive monarchy served the best interests of the United Kingdom; by abstaining from direct rule, the monarch levitated above the political fray with dignity, and remained a respected personage to whom all subjects could look to as a guiding light.

Even as a staunch monarchist I freely confess that there has always been this odd nature of the relationship between hereditary monarchy and a society increasingly ambivalent about the institution. To paraphrase Bagehot again, there has been too much ‘daylight’ shone onto the ‘magic’ of the monarchy because we are obsessed with personalities as celebrities.

Having said that I did feel saddened by the passing of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. After the Queen, he was my favourite royal. Anne, Princess Royal, would come next because she is very much like her father in temperament, humour, and character, so unlike her other brothers.

I have met the late Prince Philip when I was serving in the army in a few regimental meet-and-greet situations - which as you may know is pretty normal given that members of the royal family serve as honorary colonel-in-chiefs (patrons in effect) of all the British army regiments and corps.I also saw him at one or two social events such the annual charitable Royal Caledonian Ball (he’s an expert scottish reeler) and the Guards Polo Club where my older brothers played.

I’ll will freely confess that he was the one royal I could come close to identify with because his personal biography resonated with me a great deal.

Let’s be honest, the core Windsor family members, born to privilege, are conditioned and raised to be dull. Perhaps that’s a a tad harsh. I would prefer the term ‘anonymously self-effacing’, just another way of saying ‘for God’s sake don’t draw attention to yourself by saying or doing anything even mildly scandalous or political lest it invites public opprobrium and scrutiny’. The Queen magnificently succeeds in this but the others from Charles down just haven’t (with the exception of Princess Anne).

However, many people forget this obvious fact that it’s the incoming husbands and wives who marry into the Windsor family who are relied upon to bring colour and even liven things up a little. And long before Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle (very briefly), or Lady Diana Spencer, were the stars of ‘The Firm’- a phrase first coined by King George VI, Queen Elizabeth II's father who ruled from 1936 to 1952, who was thought to have wryly said, "British royals are 'not a family, we're a firm,” - it was Prince Philip who really livened things up and made the greater impact on the monarchy than any of them in the long term.  

Prince Philip’s passing belied the truth of a far more complex individual: a destitute and penniless refugee Greek-Danish prince with a heart breaking backstory that could have been penned by any 19th Century novelist, and also eagle eyed reformer who tried to drag the royal family into the 20th century. At the core of the man - lost scion of a lost European royal dynasty, a courageous war veteran, and Queen’s consort - were values in which he attempted to transform and yet maintain much older inherited traditions and attitudes. Due to his great longevity, Philip’s life came to span a period of social change that is almost unprecedented, and almost no one in history viewed such a transformation from the front row.

Prince Philip would seem to represent in an acute form the best of the values of that era, which in many ways jar with today’s. He had fought with great courage in the war as a dashing young naval officer; he was regularly rude to foreigners, which was obviously a bonus to all Brits. He liked to ride and sail and shoot things. He was unsentimental almost to a comic degree, which felt reassuring at a time when a new-found emotional incontinence made many feel uncomfortable. Outrageous to some but endearing to others, he was the sort of man you’d want to go for a pint with, perhaps the ultimate compliment that an Englishman can pay to another Englishman. This has its own delicious irony as he wasn’t really an Englishman.

There are 4 takeways I would suggest in my appraisal of Prince Philip that stand out for me. So let me go through each one.

1. Prince Philip’s Internationalism

It may seem odd for me to say that Prince Philip wasn’t English but he wasn’t an Englishman in any real sense. He was a wretch of the world - stateless, homeless, and penniless. That the Prince of Nowhere became the British Monarchy’s figurehead was more than fitting for a great age of migration and transition in which the Royal Family survived and even flourished. That he was able to transform himself into the quintessential Englishman is testimony not just to his personal determination but also to the powerful cultural pull of Britishness.

He was born on a kitchen table in Corfu in June 1921. A year later in 1922, Philip, as the the great-great-grandson of Queen Victoria and nephew of Constantine I of Greece, was forced to flee with his family after the abdication of Constantine. He grew up outside Paris speaking French; ethnically he was mostly German although he considered himself Danish, his family originating from the Schleswig border region. He was in effect, despite his demeanour of Royal Navy officer briskness, a citizen of nowhere in an age of movement. From a very young age he was a stateless person, nationally homeless. Indeed, Philip was an outsider in a way that even Meghan Markle could never be; at his wedding in 1947, his three surviving sisters and two brothers-in-law were not permitted to attend because they were literally Britain’s enemies, having fought for the Germans. A third brother-in-law had even been in the SS, working directly for Himmler, but had been killed in the conflict.

Even his religion was slightly exotic. He was Greek Orthodox until he converted to Anglicanism on marrying Elizabeth - what with his wife due to become supreme head of the Church and everything  - but his ties with eastern Christianity remained. His great-aunts Princess Elisabeth of Hesse and by Rhine and Tsarina Alexandra are both martyrs of the Russian Orthodox Church, having been murdered by the Bolsheviks; Philip’s mother went on to become an Orthodox nun and a “Righteous Among the Nations” for saving a Jewish family during the Nazi occupation of Greece, spending much of her time in squalid poverty.

His parents were part of the largely German extended aristocracy who ruled almost all of Europe before it all came crashing down in 1918. When he died, aged 99, it marked a near-century in which all the great ideological struggles had been and gone; he had been born before the Soviet Union but outlived the Cold War, the War on Terror and - almost - Covid-19.

The world that Philip was born into was a far more violent and dangerous place than ours. In the year he was born, Irish rebels were still fighting Black and Tans; over the course of 12 months the Spanish and Japanese prime ministers were assassinated, there was a coup in Portugal and race riots in the United States. Germany was rocked by violence from the far-Left and far-Right, while in Italy a brutal new political movement, the Fascists, secured 30 seats in parliament, led by a trashy journalist called Benito Mussolini.

The worst violence, however, took place in Greece and Turkey. Following the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, what remained of Turkey was marked for permanent enfeeblement by the Allies. But much to everyone’s surprise the country’s force were roused by the brilliant officer Mustafa Kemal, who led the Turks to victory. Constantinople was lost to Christendom for good and thousands of years of Hellenic culture was put to the flames in Smyrna.

The Greek royal family, north German imports shipped in during the 19th century, bore much of the popular anger for this disaster. King Constantine fled to Italy, and his brother Andrew was arrested and only escaped execution through the intervention of his relative Britain’s George V. Andrew’s wife Alice, their four daughters and infant son Philip fled to France, completely impoverished but with the one possession that ensures that aristocrats are never truly poor: connections.

Philip had a traumatic childhood. He was forged by the turmoil of his first decade and then moulded by his schooling. His early years were spent wandering, as his place of birth ejected him, his family disintegrated and he moved from country to country, none of them ever his own. When he was just a year old, he and his family were scooped up by a British destroyer from his home on the Greek island of Corfu after his father had been condemned to death. They were deposited in Italy. One of Philip's first international journeys was spent crawling around on the floor of the train from an Italian port city, "the grubby child on the desolate train pulling out of the Brindisi night," as his older sister Sophia later described it.

In Paris, he lived in a house borrowed from a relative; but it was not destined to become a home. In just one year, while he was at boarding school in Britain, the mental health of his mother, Princess Alice, deteriorated and she went into an asylum; his father, Prince Andrew, went off to Monte Carlo to live with his mistress. "I don't think anybody thinks I had a father," he once said. Andrew would die during the war. Philip went to Monte Carlo to pick up his father's possessions after the Germans had been driven from France; there was almost nothing left, just a couple of clothes brushes and some cuff-links.

Philip’s four sisters were all much older, and were soon all married to German aristocrats (the youngest would soon die in an aeroplane crash, along with her husband and children). His sisters became ever more embroiled in the German regime. In Scotland going to Gordonstoun boarding school, Philip went the opposite direction, becoming ever more British. Following the death of his sister Cecilie in a plane crash in 1937, the gulf widened. As the clouds of conflict gathered, the family simply disintegrated. With a flash of the flinty stoicism that many would later interpret, with no little justification, as self-reliance to the point of dispassion, the prince explained: “It’s simply what happened. The family broke up… I just had to get on with it. You do. One does.”

In the space of 10 years he had gone from a prince of Greece to a wandering, homeless, and virtually penniless boy with no-one to care for him. He got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

By the time he went to Gordonstoun, a private boarding school on the north coast of Scotland, Philip was tough, independent and able to fend for himself; he'd had to be. Gordonstoun would channel those traits into the school's distinct philosophy of community service, teamwork, responsibility and respect for the individual. And it sparked one of the great passions of Philip's life - his love of the sea. It was Gordonstoun that nurtured that love through the maturation of his character.

Philip adored the school as much as his son Charles would despise it. Not just because the stress it put on physical as well as mental excellence - he was a great sportsman. But because of its ethos, laid down by its founder Kurt Hahn, a Jewish exile from Nazi Germany.

Hahn first met Philip as a boy in Nazi Germany. Through a connection via one of his sister’s husbands, Philip, the poor, lonely boy was first sent off to a new school - in Nazi Germany. Which was as fun as can be imagined. Schloss Salem had been co-founded by stern educator called Kurt Hahn, a tough, discipline-obsessed conservative nationalist who saw civilisation in inexorable decline. But by this stage Hahn, persecuted for being Jewish in Nazi Germany, had fled to Britain, and Philip did not spend long at the school either, where pressure from the authorities was already making things difficult for the teachers. Philip laughed at the Nazis at first, because their salute was the same gesture the boys at his previous school had to make when they wanted to go to the toilet, but within a year he was back in England, a refugee once again.

Philip happily attended Hahn’s new school, Gordonstoun, which the strict disciplinarian had set up in the Scottish Highlands. Inspired by Ancient Sparta, the boys (and then later girls) had to run around barefoot and endure cold showers, even in winter, the whole aim of which was to drive away the inevitable civilisational decay Hahn saw all around him. To 21st century ears it sounds like hell on earth, yet Philip enjoyed it, illustrating just what a totally alien world he came from.

That ethos became a significant, perhaps the significant, part of the way that Philip believed life should be lived. It shines through the speeches he gave later in his life. "The essence of freedom," he would say in Ghana in 1958, "is discipline and self-control." The comforts of the post-war era, he told the British Schools Exploring Society a year earlier, may be important "but it is much more important that the human spirit should not be stifled by easy living". And two years before that, he spoke to the boys of Ipswich School of the moral as well as material imperatives of life, with the "importance of the individual" as the "guiding principle of our society".

It was at Gordonstoun one of the great contradictions of Philip's fascinating life was born. The importance of the individual was what in Kurt Hahn's eyes differentiated Britain and liberal democracies from the kind of totalitarian dictatorship that he had fled. Philip put that centrality of the individual, and individual agency - the ability we have as humans to make our own moral and ethical decisions - at the heart of his philosophy.

At Dartmouth Naval College in 1939, the two great passions of his life would collide. He had learned to sail at Gordonstoun; he would learn to lead at Dartmouth. And his driving desire to achieve, and to win, would shine through. Despite entering the college far later than most other cadets, he would graduate top of his class in 1940. In further training at Portsmouth, he gained the top grade in four out of five sections of the exam. He became one of the youngest first lieutenants in the Royal Navy.

The navy ran deep in his family. His maternal grandfather had been the First Sea Lord, the commander of the Royal Navy; his uncle, "Dickie" Mountbatten, had command of a destroyer while Philip was in training. In war, he showed not only bravery but guile. It was his natural milieu. "Prince Philip", wrote Gordonstoun headmaster Kurt Hahn admiringly, "will make his mark in any profession where he will have to prove himself in a trial of strength".

2. Prince Philip and the modernisation of the monarchy

In his own words, the process of defining what it meant to be a royal consort was one of “trial and error.” Speaking with BBC One’s Fiona Bruce in 2011, Philip explained, “There was no precedent. If I asked somebody, 'What do you expect me to do?' they all looked blank. They had no bloody idea, nobody had much idea.” So he forged for himself a role as a moderniser of the monarchy.

He could not have had much idea back in 1939. Back then in Dartmouth in 1939, as war became ever more certain, the navy was his destiny. He had fallen in love with the sea itself. "It is an extraordinary master or mistress," he would say later, "it has such extraordinary moods." But a rival to the sea would come.

When King George VI toured Dartmouth Naval College, accompanied by Philip's uncle, he brought with him his daughter, Princess Elizabeth. Philip was asked to look after her. He showed off to her, vaulting the nets of the tennis court in the grounds of the college. He was confident, outgoing, strikingly handsome, of royal blood if without a throne. She was beautiful, a little sheltered, a little serious, and very smitten by Philip.

Did he know then that this was a collision of two great passions? That he could not have the sea and the beautiful young woman? For a time after their wedding in 1948, he did have both. As young newlyweds in Malta, he had what he so prized - command of a ship - and they had two idyllic years together. But the illness and then early death of King George VI brought it all to an end.

He knew what it meant, the moment he was told. Up in a lodge in Kenya, touring Africa, with Princess Elizabeth in place of the King, Philip was told first of the monarch's death in February 1952. He looked, said his equerry Mike Parker, "as if a ton of bricks had fallen on him". For some time he sat, slumped in a chair, a newspaper covering his head and chest. His princess had become the Queen. His world had changed irrevocably.

While the late Princess Diana was later to famously claim that there were “three people” in her marriage - herself, Prince Charles and Camilla - there were at least 55 million in Philip and Elizabeth’s. As Elizabeth dedicated her life to her people at Westminster Abbey at the Coronation on June 2, 1953, it sparked something of an existential crisis in Philip. Many people even after his death have never really understood this pivotal moment in Philip’s life. All his dreams of being a naval officer and a life at sea as well as being the primary provider and partner in his marriage were now sacrificed on the altar of duty and love.

With his career was now over, and he was now destined to become the spare part. Philip, very reasonably, asked that his future children and indeed his family be known by his name, Mountbatten. In effect he was asking to change the royal family’s name from the House of Windsor to the House of Mountbatten. But when Prime Minister Winston Churchill got wind of it as well as the more politically agile courtiers behind the Queen, a prolonged battle of wits ensued, and it was one Philip ultimately lost. It was only in 1957 that he accepted the title of “Prince.”

Even though he had almost lost everything dear to him and his role now undefined, he didn’t throw himself a pity party. He just got on with it. Philip tried to forge his own distinct role as second fiddle to the woman who had come to represent Great Britain. He designated himself the First Officer of the Good Ship Windsor. He set about dusting off some of the cobwebs off the throne and letting some daylight unto the workings of the monarchy by advocating reasonable amount of modernisation of the monarchy.

He had ideas about modernising the royal family that might be called “improving optics” today. But in his heart of hearts he didn’t want the monarchy to become a stuffy museum piece. He envisaged a less stuffy and more popular monarchy, relevant to the lives of ordinary people. Progress was always going to be incremental as he had sturdy opposition from the old guard who wanted to keep everything as it was, but nevertheless his stubborn energy resulted in significant changes.

When a commission chaired by Prince Philip proposed broadcasting the 1953 investiture ceremony that formally named Elizabeth II as queen on live television, Prime Minister Winston Churchill reacted with outright horror, declaring, “It would be unfitting that the whole ceremony should be presented as if it were a theatrical performance.” Though the queen had initially voiced similar concerns, she eventually came around to the idea, allowing the broadcast of all but one segment of the coronation. Ultimately, according to the BBC, more than 20 million people tuned in to the televised ceremony - a credit to the foresight of Philip.

Elizabeth’s coronation marked a watershed moment for a monarchy that has, historically, been very hands off, old-fashioned and slightly invisible. Over the following years, the royals continued to embrace television as a way of connecting with the British people: In 1957, the queen delivered her annual Christmas address during a live broadcast. Again, this was Philip’s doing when he cajoled the Queen to televise her message live. He even helped her in how to use the teleprompter to get over her nerves and be herself on screen.

Four years later, in 1961, Philip became the first family member to sit for a television interview. It is hard for us to imagine now but back then it was huge. For many it was a significant step in modernising the monarchy.

Though not everything went to plan. Toward the end of the decade, the Windsors even invited cameras into their home. A 1969 BBC fly-on-the-wall documentary, instigated by Philip to show life behind the scenes, turned into an unmitigated disaster: “The Windsors” revealed the royals to be a fairly normal, if very rich, British upper-class family who liked barbecues, ice cream, watching television and bickering. The mystery of royalty took a hit below the waterline from their own torpedo, a self-inflicted wound from which they took a long time to recover. Shown once, the documentary was never aired again. But it had an irreversible effect, and not just by revealing the royals to be ordinary. By allowing the cameras in, Philip opened the lid to the prying eyes of the paparazzi who could legitimately argue that since the Royals themselves had sanctioned exposure, anything went. From then on, minor members of the House of Windsor were picked off by the press, like helpless tethered animals on a hunting safari.

Prince Philip also took steps to reorganise and renovate the royal estates in Sandringham and Balmoral such as intercoms, modern dish washers,  generally sought to make the royal household and the monarchy less stuffy, not to have so much formality everywhere.

Philip helped modernised the monarchy in other ways to acknowledge that the monarchy could be responsive to changes in society. It was Prince Philip - much to the chagrin of the haughty Princess Margaret and other stuffy old courtiers - who persuaded the Queen to host informal lunches and garden parties designed to engage a broader swath of the British public. Conversely, Prince Philip heartily encouraged the Queen (she was all for it apparently but was still finding her feet as a new monarch) to end the traditional practice of presenting debutantes from aristocratic backgrounds at court in 1952. For Philip and others it felt antiquated and out of touch with society. I know in speaking to my grandmother and others in her generation the decision was received with disbelief at how this foreign penniless upstart could come and stomp on the dreams of mothers left to clutch their pearls at the prospect there would be no shop window for their daughter to attract a suitable gentleman for marriage. One of my great aunts was over the moon happy that she never would have to go through what she saw as a very silly ceremony because she preferred her muddy wellies to high heels. 

A former senior member of the royal household, who spent several years working as one of Prince Philip’s aides, and an old family friend, once told us around a family dinner table that the Duke of Edinburgh was undoubtedly given a sense of permanence by his marriage into the Royal Family that was missing from earlier years. But the royal aide would hastily add that Prince Philip, of course, would never see it that way.

Prince Philip’s attitude was to never brood on things or seek excuses. And he did indeed get on with the job in his own way  - there should be no doubt that when it came to building and strengthening the Royal Family it was a partnership of equals with the Queen. Indeed contrary to Netflix’s hugely popular series ‘The Crown’ and its depiction of the royal marriage with Philip’s resentment at playing second fiddle, the prince recognised that his “first duty was to serve the Queen in the best way I could,” as he told ITV in 2011. Though this role was somewhat ill-suited to his dynamic, driven, and outspoken temperament, Philip performed it with utter devotion.

3. Prince Philip’s legacy

One could argue rightly that modernising the monarchy was his lasting legacy achievement. But he also tried to modernise a spent and exhausted Britain as it emerged from a ruinous war. When peace came, and with it eventual economic recovery, Philip would throw himself into the construction of a better Britain, urging the country to adopt scientific methods, embracing the ideas of industrial design, planning, education and training. A decade before Harold Wilson talked of the "white heat of the technological revolution", Philip was urging modernity on the nation in speeches and interviews. He was on top of his reading of the latest scientific breakthroughs and well read in break out innovations.

This interest in modernisation was only matched by his love for nature. As the country and the world became richer and consumed ever more, Philip warned of the impact on the environment, well before it was even vaguely fashionable. As president of the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) in the UK for more than 20 years from 1961, he was one of the first high-profile advocates of the cause of conservation and biological diversity at a time when it was considered the preserve of an eccentric few.

For a generation of school children in Britain and the Commonwealth though, his most lasting legacy and achievement will be the Duke of Edinburgh Awards (DofE). He set up the Duke of Edinburgh award, a scheme aimed at getting young people out into nature in search of adventure or be of service to their communities. It was a scheme that could match the legacy of Baden Powell’s scouts movement. 

When Prince Philip first outlined his idea of a scheme to harness the values of his education at Gordonstoun by bringing character-building outdoor pursuits to the many rather than the fee-paying few, he received short shrift from the government of the day. The then minister of education, Sir David Eccles responded to the Duke’s proposal by saying: “I hear you’re trying to invent something like the Hitler Youth.” Undeterred he pushed on until it came to fruition.

I’m so glad that he did. I remember how proud I was for getting my DofE Awards while I was at boarding school. With the support of great mentors I managed to achieve my goals: collecting second-hand English books for a literacy programme for orphaned street children in Delhi, India with a close Indian school friend and her family; and completing a 350 mile hike following St. Olav’s Pilgrimmage Trail from Selånger, on the east coast of Sweden, and ending at Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim, on the west coast of Norway.

It continues to be an enduring legacy.  Since its launch in 1956, the Duke of Edinburgh awards have been bestowed upon some 2.5 million youngsters in Britain and some eight million worldwide. For a man who once referred to himself as a “Greek princeling of no consequence”, his pioneering tutelage of these two organisations (alongside some 778 other organisations of which he was either president or a patron) would be sufficient legacy for most.

4. Prince Philip’s character

It may surprise some but what I liked most about Prince Philip was the very thing that helped him achieve so much and leave a lasting legacy: his character.

It is unhelpful to the caricature of Prince Philip as an unwavering but pugnacious consort whose chief talent was a dizzying facility in off-colour one-liners that he was widely read and probably the cleverest member of his family.

His private library at Windsor consists of 11,000 tomes, among them 200 volumes of poetry. He was a fan of Jung, TS Eliot, Shakespeare and the cookery writer Elizabeth David. As well as a lifelong fascination with science, technology and sport, he spoke fairly fluent French, painted and wrote a well received book on birds. It’s maddening to think how many underestimated his genuine intellect and how cultured he was behind the crusty exterior.

He didn’t have an entourage to fawn around him. He was the first to own a computer at Buckingham Palace. He answered his own phone and wrote and responded to his own correspondence. By force of character he fought the old guard courtiers at every turn to modernise the monarchy  against their stubborn resistance.

Prince Philip was never given to self-analysis or reflection on the past. Various television interviewers tried without success to coerce him in to commenting on his legacy.But once when his guard was down he asked on the occasion of his 90th birthday what he was more proud of, he replied with characteristic bluntness: “I couldn’t care less. Who cares what I think about it, I mean it’s ridiculous.”

All of which neatly raises the profound aversion to fuss and the proclivity for tetchiness often expressed in withering put-downs that, for better or worse, will be the reflex memory for many of the Duke of Edinburgh. If character is a two edged sword so what of his gaffes? 

There is no doubt his cult status partly owed to his so-called legendary gaffes, of which there are enough to fill a book (indeed there is a book). But he was no racist. None of the Commonwealth people or foreign heads of state ever said this about him. Only leftist republicans with too much Twitter time on their hands screamed such a ridiculous accusation. They’re just overly sensitive snowflakes and being devoid of any humour they’re easily triggered.

There was the time that Philip accepted a gift from a local in Kenya, telling her she was a kind woman, and then adding: “You are a woman, aren’t you?” Or the occasion he remarked “You managed not to get eaten, then?” to a student trekking in Papua New Guinea. Then there was his World Wildlife Fund speech in 1986, when he said: “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” Well, he wasn’t wrong.

Philip quickly developed a reputation for what he once defined, to the General Dental Council, as “dentopedology – the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it”. Clearly he could laugh at himself as he often did as an ice breaker to put others at ease.

His remarking to the president of Nigeria, who was wearing national dress, “You look like you’re ready for bed”, or advising British students in China not to stay too long or they would end up with “slitty eyes”, is probably best written off as ill-judged humour. Telling a photographer to “just take the fucking picture” or declaring “this thing open, whatever it is”, were expressions of exasperation or weariness with which anyone might sympathise.

Above all, he was also capable of genuine if earthy wit, saying of his horse-loving daughter Princess Anne: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay she isn’t interested.” Many people might have thought it but few dared say it. If Prince Philip’s famous gaffes provoked as much amusement as anger, it was precisely because they seem to give voice to the bewilderment and pent-up frustrations with which many people viewed the ever-changing modern world.

A former royal protection officer recounts how while on night duty guarding a visiting Queen and consort, he engaged in conversation with colleagues on a passing patrol. It was 2am and the officer had understood the royal couple to be staying elsewhere in the building until a window above his head was abruptly slammed open and an irate Prince Philip stuck his head out of the window to shout: “Would you fuck off!” Without another word, he then shut the window.

The Duke at least recognised from an early age that he was possessed of an abruptness that could all too easily cross the line from the refreshingly salty to crass effrontery.

One of his most perceptive biographers, Philip Eade, recounted how at the age of 21 the prince wrote a letter to a relation whose son had recently been killed in combat. He wrote: “I know you will never think much of me. I am rude and unmannerly and I say things out of turn which I realise afterwards must have hurt someone. Then I am filled with remorse and I try to put matters right.”

In the case of the royal protection officer, the Duke turned up in the room used by the police officers when off duty and said: “Terribly sorry about last night, wasn’t quite feeling myself.”

Aides have also ventured to explain away some of their employer’s more outlandish remarks - from asking Cayman islanders “You are descended from pirates aren’t you?” to enquiring of a female fashion writer if she was wearing mink knickers - as the price of his instinctive desire to prick the pomposity of his presence with a quip to put others at ease.

Indeed many people forget that his ‘gaffes’ were more typical of the clubbish humour of the British officer class – which of course would be less appreciated, sometimes even offensive, to other ears. It’s why he could relate so well to veterans who enjoyed his bonhomie company immensely.

But behind the irascibility, some have argued there also lay a darker nature, unpleasantly distilled in his flinty attitude to his eldest son. One anecdote tells of how, in the aftermath of the murder of the Duke’s uncle and surrogate father, Lord Mountbatten,  Philip lectured his son, who was also extremely fond of his “honorary grandfather”, that he was not to succumb to self-pity. Charles left the room in tears and when his father was asked why he had spoken to his son with so little compassion, the Duke replied: “Because if there’s any crying to be done I want it to happen within this house, in front of his family, not in public. He must be toughened up, right now.”

But here I would say that Prince Philip’s intentions were almost always sincere and in no way cruel. He has always tried to protect his family - even from their own worst selves or from those outside the family ‘firm’ who may not have their best interest at heart.

In 1937, a 16-year-old Prince Philip had walked behind his elder sister Cecile’s coffin after she was killed in a plane crash while heavily pregnant. The remains of newly-born infant found in the wreckage suggested the aircraft had perished as the pilot sought to make an emergency landing in fog as the mother entered childbirth. It was an excruciating taste of tragedy which would one day manifest itself in a very princely form of kindness that was deep down that defined Philip’s character.

When about 60 years later Prime Minister Tony Blair’s spin doctors in Downing Street tried to strong arm the Queen and the royal household over the the arrangements for the late Prince Diana’s funeral, it was Philip who stepped in front to protect his family. The Prime Minister and his media savvy spin doctors wanted the two young princes, William and Harry, to walk behind the coffin.

The infamous exchange was on the phone during a conference call between London and Balmoral, and the emotional Philip was reportedly backed by the Queen. The call was witnessed by Anji Hunter, who worked for Mr Blair. She said how surprised she was to hear Prince Philip’s emotion. ‘It’s about the boys,” he cried, “They’ve lost their mother”. Hunter thought to herself, “My God, there’s a bit of suffering going on up there”.’

Sky TV political commentator Adam Boulton (Anji Hunter’s husband) would write in his book Tony’s Ten Years: ‘The Queen relished the moment when Philip bellowed over the speakerphone from Balmoral, “Fuck off. We are talking about two boys who have just lost their mother”. Boulton goes on to say that Philip: ‘…was trying to remind everyone that human feelings were involved. No 10 were trying to help the Royals present things in the best way, but may have seemed insensitive.’

In the end the politicians almost didn’t get their way. Prince Philip stepped in to counsel his grandson, Prince William, after he had expressed a reluctance to follow his mother’s coffin after her death in Paris. Philip told the grieving child: “If you don’t walk, I think you’ll regret it later. If I walk, will you walk with me?”

It’s no wonder he was sought as a counsellor by other senior royals and especially close to his grandchildren, for whom he was a firm favourite. His relationship with Harry was said to have become strained, however, following the younger Prince’s decision to reject his royal inheritance for a life away from the public eye in America with his new American wife, Meghan Markle. For Prince Philip I am quite sure it went against all the elder Prince had lived his life by - self-sacrifice for the greater cause of royalty.

This is the key to Philip’s character and in understanding the man. The ingrained habits of a lifetime of duty and service in one form or another were never far away.

In conclusion then....

After more time passes I am sure historians will make a richer reassessment of Prince Philip’s life and legacy. Because Prince Philip was an extraordinary man who lived an extraordinary life; a life intimately connected with the sweeping changes of our turbulent 20th Century, a life of fascinating contrast and contradiction, of service and some degree of solitude. A complex, clever, eternally restless man that not even the suffocating protocols of royalty and tradition could bind him.

Although he fully accepted the limitations of public royal service, he did not see this as any reason for passive self-abnegation, but actively, if ironically, identified with his potentially undignified role. It is this bold and humorous embrace of fated restriction which many now find irksome: one is no longer supposed to mix public performance with private self-expression in quite this manner.

Yet such a mix is authentically Socratic: the proof that the doing of one’s duty can also be the way of self-fulfilment. The Duke’s sacrifice of career to romance and ceremonial office is all the more impressive for his not hiding some annoyance. The combination of his restless temperament and his deeply felt devotion to duty found fruitful expression; for instance, in the work of Saint George’s House Windsor - a centre and retreat that he created with Revd. Robin Woods - in exploring religious faith, philosophy, and contemporary issues.

Above all he developed a way to be male that was both traditional and modern. He served one woman with chivalric devotion as his main task in life while fulfilling his public engagements in a bold and active spirit. He eventually embraced the opportunity to read and contemplate more. And yet, he remained loyal to the imperatives of his mentor Kurt Hahn in seeking to combine imagination with action and religious devotion with practical involvement.

Prince Philip took more pride in the roles he had accidentally inherited than in the personal gifts which he was never able fully to develop. He put companionship before self-realisation and acceptance of a sacred symbolic destiny before the mere influencing of events. In all these respects he implicitly rebuked our prevailing meritocracy which over-values officially accredited attainment, and our prevailing narcissism which valorises the assertion of discrete identities.

Prince Philip was Britain’s longest-serving consort. He was steadfast, duty driven, and a necessary adjunct to the continuity and stability of the Queen and the monarchy. Of all the institutions that have lost the faith of the British public in this period - the Church, Parliament, the media, the police - the Monarchy itself has surprisingly done better than most at surviving, curiously well-adapted to a period of societal change and moral anarchy. The House of Hanover and later Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (changed to Windsor), since their arrival in this country in 1714, have been noted above all for their ability to adapt. And just as they survived the Victorian age by transforming themselves into the bourgeoise, domestic ideal, so they have survived the new Elizabethan era (Harry-Meghan saga is just a passing blip like the Edward-Wallis Simpson saga of the 1930s).

There was once a time when the Royal’s German blood was a punchline for crude and xenophobic satirists. Now it is the royals who are deeply British while the country itself is increasingly cosmopolitan and globalised. British society has seen a greater demographic change than the preceding four or five thousand years combined, the second Elizabethan age has been characterised more than anything by a transformational movement of people. Prince Philip, the Greek-born, Danish-German persecuted and destitute wanderer who came to become one of the Greatest Britons of the past century, perhaps epitomised that era better than anyone else. And he got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

I hope I don’t exaggerate when I say that in our troubled times over identity, and our place and purpose in the world, we need to heed his selfless example more than ever.

As Heraclitus wisely said,  Ήθος ανθρώπω δαίμων (Character is destiny.)

RIP Prince Philip. You were my prince. God damn you, I miss you already.

Thanks for your question.

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[bluemoonfantasiesiii]

My predictions for Albedo’s story that probably aren’t going to happen but a demon can hope:

After seeing Subject Two’s humanity, Albedo will start to question everything he’s done under his Master’s orders. How many other of the failed experiments he killed weren’t actually failures, but simply didn’t live up to her expectations? How many of them were like Subject Two? Is he a murderer?

This leads to him questioning Rhinedottir. Why was Subject Two deemed unworthy of life to her? If anything, he was better at being human than Albedo. Resentment, desire, a will of his own. These are all very human things that Albedo struggles with but Subject Two is now defined by.

Subject Two comes back and Albedo is able to reconcile with him. The two become brothers and while Albedo tries not to talk about Rhinedottir too often out of respect for Subject Two’s trauma, he can’t help himself sometimes. After all, she was a major part of his life.

The more Albedo talks about her, the more Subject Two realizes that Albedo was abandoned, too. Sent on a fool’s errand and told it was just a final test. Finally, Subject Two starts to sympathize with his little brother, but at the same time, Albedo’s willful blindness to the reality that he was left behind is frustrating.

Subject Two sits Albedo down and tells him about Rhinedottir’s atrocities in Khaenri’ah and the hand she played in the Cataclysm in an attempt to get his little brother open his eyes. He admits to Albedo that he wasn’t killed because he was a failure, but because he tried to warn Teyvat of her experiments as they had begun making their way to the surface.

Albedo is in denial at first, but it makes too much sense, and he has no reason to believe his brother would lie about something so serious. But he still wants to hear it from her. He sets off to find her, and Subject Two, knowing how dangerous she is, especially with the power she still holds over Albedo, goes with him. He also implores the Traveler to come along because if anyone can deal with Rhine, it would be them.

The brothers and the Traveler confront Rhinedottir, and Albedo experiences grief for the first time when she confirms Subject Two’s story and reveals that she was never intending to return to Albedo, but now that it seems he’s begun succumbing to the Corruption that took Durin and Subject Two, she also reveals that when she made Albedo, she gave him a sort of manual override system to put him in a state in which he couldn’t disobey her; a failsafe she neglected to give Subject Two.

She activates it and orders him to kill Subject Two for good. Cue the trope of Character A (and C) trying to get through to a brainwashed Character B through verbal reasoning and emotional appeal while playing defense against a barrage of attacks. Subject Two decides the only way to break through the override is to allow himself to get injured and then attempt emotional appeal, and so he shoves the Traveler out of the way and puts himself directly in Albedo’s path.

It works, and once Albedo snaps out of it and tends to his brother’s wound, it’s the final straw that leads to him abandoning his faith in Rhinedottir. After all this time, Albedo has finally entered the rubedo stage as his emotions are spiraling. He’s crushed, he’s furious, he’s relieved, and he’s ready to take on his Master, once and for all.

Blah, blah, blah, boss fight, Rhinedottir is nearly defeated, and Albedo insists on dealing the final blow. As he approaches his Master, he rattles off a whole rant about how the only thing Rhine taught him was alchemy. The people who taught him how to be human were Alice and Klee, the people of Mondstadt, the Traveler, and his brother.

Once Rhinedottir is defeated, Albedo reaches the citrinitas stage. His life is now his own, his destiny is now in his own hands, his meaning is now up to him and him alone. He’s free, as a true Mondstadter should be. Because he was never a Khaenri’an like his brothers or mother. His home and family are the Nation of Freedom and the people in it.

#moon says shit #genshin impact #theory #analysis #albedo #imposter albedo #subject two #rhinedottir

[illuminatedchalk]

Modern AU Headcanons & Imagines : Science YouTuber/Professor Albedo

a/n: first post! let's gooo

warnings: none, maybe slight AlbeRose? but they are not together or anything, just rumored to be. Also slight spoilers of Albedo's lore.

genre: fluff, completely platonic, slight angst and implied character death? implied abandonment issue (Rhinedottir)

• I firmly believe that Albedo would be an educator. A teacher, professor, you name it.

• Widely regarded as a genius, perhaps recognized by the country. He has a lot of achievements in science under his belt at such a young age, graduated with stellar grades, has a Masters degree, basically, he lives and breathes science. And education. And learning. Ever the curious mind.

• His mother is a famed scientist, Rhinedottir. His childhood is where he learned all things alchemy, often watching his mother works with curiosity. Rhine then taught him everything she knows, but she was also strict with him, letting him know she wouldn't hesitate to leave if he wastes her time. Albedo however, was determined to learn.

• She unfortunately went missing one day when she goes out on a trip overseas, and she, before leaving, left him in the care of Alice, her colleague and friend. He then grew up in her care, and he became a renowned scientist, just like his mother.

• (In his quiet moments when his workload was a little heavier than usual, or when he hit a wall in his research, his mind sometimes wondered if Rhine actually left him... He prefers to think she wanted the best for him and everything else was just an accident, but in his more stressful moments, he can't help but feel a pang in his chest at the possibility.)

• He became very focused in his studies and interests, so even though he has social media (persuaded by his co-workers, acquaintances and family so they can reach out to him easier), he isn't online often unless to watch even more learning materials, or sharing said learning materials. Often people have to straight up give him a call if the matter is urgent or important, since DMs and messages are mostly forgotten with him. You can spam him and he will STILL respond a day later, maybe half a day if you are lucky (or if he prioritizes you *wink wink*). That's a minimum.

• (He does indulge in art content and sweet food videos on the internet sometimes. Art videos are for him to learn more about... well, art, since he does paint as a hobby, and sweet food videos gave him the boost he needed. Someone please bake him a cake... He is craving but waaay too busy to go to a bakery or café 🥲)

• He gives lectures from time to time, and does research on the other. His mind never rests, and time, to him, is something he should spend for learning.

• "Going out into the world investigating... Turning the unknown into the known... *sighs* I miss this feeling." Yes, I imagine he will be exactly like the way he is in canon.

• Now, his more 'free' time, however...

• If you have surfed through YouTube, then you must have seen the science education channels?

• Then there he is!!! Albedo in all his glory!!

• You'll probably come across his video on one of those random YouTube recommendations. Something about a solid that's lighter than air? Aero...gel? And you see a beautiful blondie with a pair of beautiful blue eyes holding up what looks like a cube of transparent air in the thumbnail. Now that's interesting. (Shout out to the YouTube channel Veritasium, my main inspiration for the content Albedo posts. Very interesting stuff he talks about there.)

• Albedo's channel covers a wide variety of topic, mostly regarding alchemy and all the cool phenomenon/objects that entails it, sometimes it's physics and the laws of nature, and sometimes he also dabbles towards more philosophical questions pertaining life, somehow relating it to science in the most introspective ways. His channel is... fascinating, to say the least. (The philosophical science part is a reference to Tom Scott and also Kurzgesagt. Again, fascinating stuff!)

• The surprising part of his channel is discovering how madly talented he is. So, his channel has an average upload period of one month, but sometimes he will also upload art videos in between them, perhaps it's to keep his schedule and to have a stable engagement, or perhaps it's just something he does when he is in the mood. He talks about art fundamentals, or sometimes just simply relax, sketching with little to no talking in it. His viewers just... vibes with him. Maybe also fall for him and his brilliance a little.

• His channel's tone is serious and calm for the most part. He shows his face in his videos and mostly has a neutral facial expressions with a monotonous, yet serene voice, so there aren't many moments where you can laugh. He doesn't crack jokes, often too immersed in his explanations and observing whatever he is covering to do so.

• It is fine, though. His charm may not lie in his comedic prowess, but it lies in his charisma. He could explain the most difficult subject like a walk in the park, pulling his viewers so they're able to see his unique perspectives, and sometimes he shows slight smug confidence while he shares his theories. He also occasionally drops some meaningful messages subtly, you'll miss it if you don't pay much attention. Just from the way he narrates his videos you can tell he is a great teacher.

• It is when Klee joins him when he is recording is where the mood shifts. Klee's cheerful presence helps brighten the mood, and Albedo visibly relaxes in front of his little sister. She is often seen asking him questions, climbing up a chair so she can see what Albedo is doing more clearly. Albedo often lifts her up anyways so she doesn't injure herself, and her appearance makes him smile a lot more, maybe even let out a chuckle or two while he holds Klee in his arms. His viewers will note about how his voice turns warmer when he talks to Klee, answering every single questions she asked.

• The first time Klee appeared in his video resulted in a funny misunderstanding amongst his audience. Everyone thought Klee is his daughter, that he married young and his assistant that is also often seen in his videos, Sucrose, is his wife.

• Timaeus is the one who moderates the comments section, and he had to watch Sucrose burns in embarrassment while stuttering endlessly when he reported the news to her. She is clearly at a lost because of the outrageous rumor, the poor girl.

• This rumor continued for quite awhile before Albedo finally introduced Klee as his little sister on the next video featuring her, and he also made everything clear that Sucrose is his assistant and pupil, along with Timaeus, and Sucrose can finally greet Albedo again without sounding like a robot. The comments thankfully understood. (Though Timaeus sometimes still found some comments that ships the two together. He didn't tell them, because poor Sucrose would probably start overheating again.)

• Now Klee has her own segment where Albedo teaches her basic alchemy! He also lets her experiment in his lab, safely of course. He taught her how to make gunpowder and fireworks.... safely... of course. Let's just hope she doesn't blow anything up, though she IS quite fascinated at the demonstration...

• gosh im a sucker for albedo-klee interaction they are just so cute

• All in all, his channel garnered millions of views on average! That's to be expected. After all, who would not love to watch educational content hosted by a beautiful guy with a voice akin to honey? You'll get an added bonus of fun family content with little Klee too! A full package <3

• People used to think Albedo is a cold, serious and unapproachable person, but after sticking around, you'll find the professor is actually quite the warm person, caring to his students and loving towards his family. Professor Albedo finds comfort in science, and he would like to share all the wonders he discovered with the world. Thankfully, the people around him also shares the same sentiment.

#albedo kreideprinz #albedo genshin impact #albedo genshin x reader #albedo x reader #albedo headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fluff #albedo fluff #genshin impact fluff #albedo genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #albedo imagines

[foiba]

top 5 genshin WOMEN

this is an excellent question. as a bisexual i am always ready to talk about women. as we know, there are many women within the hit mobile game genshin impact, however, in this post i will discuss my personal top five. this will a) not be purely attraction based as i have to include my main girl fischl (spoiler alert) nor b) include unreleased characters, as alice and rhine solo everyone. without further ado let’s get into it

#5- Kujou Sara

allow me to preface this by saying i love a good woman who is also a creature. unfortunately i am not a sara haver, but she’s just too hot and scary for me to not include. she’s got an athlete air about her that i love. if i asked her out on a date she would say “this is the final straw. i’m placing you under arrest in the name of the shogunate” and i would be like yes girl! sadly there are so many women i love that she gets the dreaded #5 spot. i am a kujou sara enjoyer.

#4- Xinyan

i wish i could say i am a xinyan main. really. unfortunately her mats suck to farm. although she isn’t in my main team she comes into the abyss with me, and i can slap a sac greatsword on this girl and farm for miles. no crystal chunk stands in my way with the queen xinyan. i also really love how her drum makes noise when i climb. she’s so goddamn cute. xinyan forever.

#3- Jean

ourcraft impact REALLY turned me on to ms acting grand master of the knights of favonius. this woman is both sexy and incredibly based. i think she should be president. she’s just so nice and talented and hardworking i wish i knew her irl but if i did jerry would be out of a job. queen i know vennessa is proud of you. but please someone give her a vacation and pay for her wedding to lisa she deserves everything

#2- Hu Tao

its kind of a tie for me for these last two but for now our runner up is hu tao. initially I didn’t really care that i pulled her but holy shit is she balls to the walls insane. i have horrible rng luck so she’s running a lvl 70 r5 black tassel but she does like 50k on slimes so it’s fineeee…i relate to her SO much im shocked shes not on my kin list but i dont want to make it too long. she’s just so adorable and funny and powerful that she earns her spot as a fave, but she’s a little too talkative when i put my ipad down to go do other stuff that she loses points (same with kaeya lmfao). best best girl.

#1- Fischl

you knew it was coming. the girl of the hour. fischl has been with me since my first ten pull and pretty much never leaves my party. she was my first character to ascend every time. she’s quirky and fun and I absolutely love her gimmick. also oz is so based. please dont kill me for this genshin community but i kind of use hu tao as a support for my main dps fischl…i know it should be the other way around but blood blossom + oz + autoattack is just so fire. this freak girl owns my heart forever. please come back i need fischl cons.

thank you for your time. some honorary mentions have to be yanfei who carried me from AR 25-35, qiqi who has also not left my team since pulling her, ganyu who i do not have but is perfect in every way, and ayaka and ningguang who i have as tuppers in ourcraft that i make say terrible things. i love women so much thank you for asking. chris out

#genshin impact #ask #xinyan #hu tao #jean gunnhildr #kujou sara #fischl #curseplacer

[monards]

Rhine owes so much child support doesn't she. Much more than Alice.

i need someone to calculate how much she'd realistically owe (by teyvat standards) when she comes out and we get numbers,,, because dear GOD does she have a lot of kids. At least alice only has klee,, and even then she still shows up sometimes 😭😭😭

#albedo; dorian; the riftwolves & wolf lord ; the unicorn #annnd thats just naming a few #someones HAD to of taken care of a good half of them for some period of time #which would mean rhine owes... so much... #LMAOAOOAOA #timatis tag

[nekonotabi]

Flower language in Alicization

Hanakotoba (Flower language) is the Japanese art of assigning meanings to flowers, and many of the meanings differ from western symbolism. While it’s mostly a lost art IRL it’s still widely used in media as a way to express some underlying message to the audience. In SAO Alicization flowers are shown and name-dropped a lot it’s almost begging for nerdy viewers like me to look up the meaning. 

Warning: This post might contain implied spoilers that anime viewers and I, who’s not a LN reader, are not aware of.

Blue Rose: Impossible/ Unattainable, Dream comes true, Miracle

As you know, blue is not a natural color of roses in our world. For the longest time, blue rose is a dream for rose enthusiasts around the world but impossible to create, until 2004 when Suntory managed to create blue rose by genetic engineering of a white rose. Therefore this flower managed to carry 2 seemingly contradicting meanings of “Impossible/ Unattainable ” and “Dream/ miracle comes true”. As Eugeo’s theme flower, I think the story is like this: Eugeo reuniting with his friends Kirito & Alice again is like a dream comes true, but so many other things of his life (insert spoilers) are unattainable.

Fragrant Olive (Osmanthus): Modesty, A noble person

A flower befitting Alice Synthesis Thirty, there is not much else to say.

The blue/white flower Zephilia is a fictional name, but it’s very likely inspired by the actual fully white Zephyranthes flower.

Zephyranthes:  Untainted Love, News coming, Expectation/ Hope

This flower that Kirito took care of as both a surprise gift for his mentor’s graduation, and a coping mechanism to soothe his sadness from the growing distance with the real world (episode 7-8). Therefore it symbolizes both his love for his friends & family from both worlds, as well as his expectation and hope to reunite with his real life friends & family if he ever manages to get to the central power in the Cathedral to log out.

Iris:  Message, Hope, Faith, Friendship, Wisdom

The flower shows up in ED 1 of the anime, which conveys Eugeo’s feelings about Kirito’s meaning & influence to his life.

Forget-me-not: Memories, True love

The flower shows up in ED 2 of the anime, which conveys the meaning of the trio’s friendship to Eugeo, as well as his wish for them to cherish the memories of their time together. The English name Forget-me-not actually came from a tragic German legend between two young friends, a boy and a girl:

“It is said that a boy and a girl were walking by a river that flows into the Rhine. The girl saw a lovely flower growing just by the water’s edge. The bank of the river was steep and the water swift.

“Oh, the beautiful flower!” she cried.

“I will get it for you,” said the boy. He sprang over the side of the steep bank and, catching hold of the shrubs and bushes, made his way to the place where the flower grew.

He tried to tear the plant from the earth with both hands, hoping to get it all for her who was watching him from the bank above.

The stem broke and, still clasping the flower, he fell backward into the rushing stream.

“Forget me not!” he cried to her as the waters bore him down to the falls below. She never did forget her blue-eyed friend who had lost his life trying to get her a flower.

“Forget me not!” she would say over and over until her friends called the little blue flower by this name.”

Source: whisperingbooks

Red Rose: I love you, love, beauty, passion, romance

This screencap is in ep 11’s rose garden scene and while the meaning might seem to not fit in context, but the flower has another reading in Japanese media that supports the scene, which I’m only going to say in another post as it’s not hanakotoba, and *spoiler* it’ll show up again later in the story so I just leave this here to keep it in mind.

#eugeo #alice synthesis thirty #kirito #kirigaya kazuto #sword art online #alicization #hanakotoba

[some-mad-lunge]

To Begin Again - Ringsy Fic

This fic is why I love anon requests. I got the request yesterday and this story just poured out of me. I couldn’t stop it. And I’m proud of it. Really proud of it. That’s rare for me so I really hope you like it. And thank you Anon, whoever you are!

It’s a long one. Not explicit but things are implied. Also a little Saskia x Tobias in there because I ship them too.

It doesn’t end the way you would think it would. Though if Ringo was honest he never did think it would end at all. But life had other plans and sometimes it’s not anyone’s fault. It didn’t matter that Ringo wanted someone to blame, there was no one’s feet to lay it upon.

It started slowly. Ringo working more. Late nights at the office. It became less important to respond to the text messages than to just finish up that last document. It was hard enough to find the time but once Easy’s career started to take off it became impossible.

Ringo was happy for Easy, in his element of creativity and surrounded by his passion. Easy was proud of Ringo, how he was rising in the ranks. Both were becoming known in their field, working hard and slowly slipping away from each other.

Because you think you’ll make it up next time. You think tomorrow we’ll do dinner, the movie, the concert, the conversation, the whatever. Then you say it again the next day. They stop their normal breakfast routine. Easy’s out of town so much it’s postponed so many times it’s no longer a thing. A tradition broken that never resumes.

They were close to having to schedule sex because Ringo couldn’t remember the last time they’d had some. Or kissed beyond a peck when they passed in the hall. Or held hands. Or any of it.

The love was still there but that doesn’t matter if everything else is gone.

Ringo wasn’t surprised when Easy came home from two weeks in Paris and they had “the talk.”

Easy simply said, “Is this working?”

Ringo was always honest with Easy. He just hated that in that moment he had to be. He desperately wanted to lie to the man he loved.

“No.”

So they talked and there were some tears. Okay a lot of tears but they were best friends, better to end it now before they lost everything. They spent that last night together. Made love for the first time in over a month. It was beautiful and special and goodbye.

It was impossible at first but work kept them both busy. Their friends were thankful that they were being so adult about it. Tobias was a shoulder for both men to lean on.

It was hard, it took time but they got there. They could be in a group together and laugh. They could run into each other and hug with awkward affection. Sure sometimes Ringo would look at Easy and feel a surge of emotion that overwhelmed him. Sometimes Easy would have to stop himself from reaching for Ringo’s hand and interlacing their fingers. Sometimes Ringo’s thumb would hover over Easy’s number on his phone late at night, his heart begging him to press the call button. Sometimes Easy slept cradling the shirt Ringo had left forgotten in one of Easy’s drawers, it didn’t matter that Ringo’s scent was gone.

Time went on. Ringo would say he loved Easy because he did. He’d accepted he always would. It had to be a first love thing, because Easy was his first real love. He’d heard that never fully went away.

So they weren’t friends but they weren’t enemies and that was something in itself. They could both look back in fondness, void of bitterness and anger. Or at least he hoped they could.

When six months later Ringo found out Easy was dating an underwear model he was fine with it. He was. He wanted Easy to be happy. He just worked harder, and kept his head down.

When Ringo was headhunted by another firm for more money, three times to be exact, he felt vindicated. He bought a better condo than the one he’d previously owned but never lived in. He had his Rhine view. He had his in floor heating. He had his name on a plaque outside his huge corner office. He had everything he worked so hard for.

Now what?

Easy meanwhile took a while longer to move on. When he’d sat across from Ringo and asked him that fatal question he thought he’d hear something different.

Yes things had been hard and there was a distance growing between them then. He thought they could talk it out. He thought they would make a plan. They didn’t. They gave up.

It rubbed Easy the wrong way. It wasn’t just the heartache and the loneliness. It was that he thought they were more than that. They fought against deceit and friends to be together, but time was what killed them in the end?

Easy was thankful that his job took him around the world. He saw new places that had no connection to Ringo. He met new people who didn’t know him as anything other than Ingo Winter.

He was no longer Ingo Dingo to Ringo’s Flamingo. He wasn’t half of anything anymore. He was a whole. Just Easy. It still felt empty.

He’d almost said something to Ringo once when they were riding the elevator together. The first time they’d seen each other in almost 2 months. Easy told Ringo about this Indian restaurant in Japan of all places which would have turned his stomach inside out. He’d laughed when Ringo told him about Kira’s newest boyfriend drama.

They sighed and locked eyes and there was a moment. It was like they were Easy and Ringo again. Like they both remembered what it was to be together, really together. But the doors to the elevator opened and the moment was lost.

That night Easy got a text from a model he’d met at the shoot a few days before, asking him to go out for a drink. He didn’t want to say yes, but he did. Afterwards Easy ended up back at his place. He wanted to get his first time post Ringo over with.

James was gorgeous and British and good in bed. He seemed to find Easy fascinating and fawned all over him. It was nice. It was okay. It was fine.

When he heard Ringo was moving out he didn’t bat an eye. He told Tobias to give him his best and he’d meant it. He wouldn’t be able to attend Ringo’s “going away” party because of a shoot in South Africa. Models wearing bikinis surrounded by giraffes. Easy was more excited to meet the giraffes if he was honest. James picked him up from the airport with a kiss and a hug and that was surprising but not unwelcome.

It got easier when he no longer looked for Ringo in the halls or the elevator or anywhere. He wasn’t going to be there and that’s okay. Well as okay as it was ever going to be.

When Easy heard Ringo was dating a young female accountant it made sense. Ringo deserved to be part of a power couple. Someone should be on Ringo’s arm wearing a power suit and dripping in elegance. Not someone in black jeans and flannel. He hoped they were happy, hoped they sparkled like diamonds together. He really did.

Ringo cared about Alice. She was nice and got his dry sense of humour. Plus she was smart, good with money and numbers. They both spent their evenings tapping away on their laptops. When they went to functions together they shone. Ringo saw the envy on other men’s faces. Weirdly it didn’t feel as good as he expected.

She called him Richard, which at first he liked but now he felt a little like she was scolding him whenever she said his name. But she was beautiful. She never wanted affection. She wasn’t cold, just focused. Sex was to the point. It wasn’t bad but it wasn't amazing. Still she was someone who got Ringo’s life, got his priorities. They could go days without talking and nobody felt deserted. Some days it was lonely but he’d gotten used to that feeling. To be honest it was a feeling he was comfortable with, a feeling he knew all too well.

After a few months it became clear that she was expecting some sort of commitment. Focused as she was she wanted to know where this was going. If they weren’t headed where she wanted she would move on. No muss. No fuss.

Then his brother called with the most amazing news. He’d asked Saskia to marry him and she surprisingly said yes. They were getting married in two weeks. Turned out two days after Tobias proposed Saskia found out she was pregnant. She wanted to be able to fit into her dream dress.

Oh and would Ringo be his joint best man with Easy?

Easy was over the moon for his best friend and Saskia. They were in love for so long before they finally admitted it to themselves and each other. Easy would come home from a night at James’s place to find them gazing at each other or cuddled on the couch with Stinker laying across them. They fit. They made sense.

Tobias was so nervous when Easy helped him pick out the ring. Nervous before they left on their nightly walk with Stinker. He took her to the spot in the park where he’d first kissed her. Tobias said he may have gotten down on one knee before but he knew it this time would be his last.

Tobias had asked if he was okay with Ringo and him both being his best man. Easy loved it. Happy that the brothers were brothers finally, nothing half about it. There was no bachelor party to plan, Tobias feared he’d end up so drunk he’d marry Easy again. No. He just wanted to pledge forever to Saskia. That was all.

So Easy broke it off with James. Sure it meant going dateless to the wedding but it was the right thing to do. He cared for James, liked him but it would never be more than that. He hated that he didn’t feel what he should but maybe with the next one? It was his first relationship post Ringo. There were still kinks to work out. A heart to get back up to snuff.

Ringo was amazed at how quickly they pulled the wedding together. He was thankful that Alice had a planned conference that weekend and was unable to attend. He didn’t ask her to cancel, she wouldn’t have anyway. He needed to make a decision about where they were going. It was time to start looking at rings.

He showed up at the church 10 minutes earlier than was asked of him but he hadn’t walked in yet. The last time he’d walked through those doors he’d been holding Easy’s hand. How things changed. He tapped down the ache in his chest.

It was a slight shock to his heart to see the church empty other than Easy standing at the end of the aisle. He was adjusting some flower arrangements but looked up at the sound of the door. They locked eyes and Easy smiled at him. Ringo knew in that moment he was going to break up with Alice.

Easy wished Ringo didn’t always look so damn handsome in a suit. Okay he looked handsome in everything but the black suit with a slim black tie was a sight to behold. Easy was grateful when Tobias came rushing from the back, vibrating with nerves and excitement, a welcome distraction to both men.

Saskia was a beautiful bride and Tobias sniffled throughout his vows. When they kissed at the end Stinker, the star ring bearer, barked with happiness as the guests clapped and cheered.

Ringo handed Easy his handkerchief, somehow aware that Easy was crying even though he’d had his back to him throughout the whole service.

Photos were taken, Ringo’s speech was a hit and when he finally got a moment to himself he texted Alice it was over. Her response was “Thank you.” No muss. No fuss. What an understatement.

Ringo knew that he’d never have what he had with Easy again. But he wanted something close. Watching the bride and groom and the love, it was evident and real. He had to look. He had to try.

At the end of the night Easy and Ringo were helping Saskia and Tobias into the limo that was taking them to their hotel. Yes they were taking Stinker. They really were a pair, a match made in heaven as they say. They were leaving the next morning, a road trip for a small honeymoon, a nice happy family.

They waved them goodbye and then it was just the two of them. They made stilted small talk as they collected the gifts and envelopes stuffed with money. They carried them up to the apartment, covering the kitchen table with the fruits of a happy union.

Ringo was going to leave, he really was but then he noticed the boxes stacked in one corner. He had to ask.

“Saskia is moving in here, they’re turning my room into a nursery.”

They smiled wistfully at each other, they were both excited to be uncles. To have a child to spoil and hold. Both thinking back to when they’d made plans for a family of their own one day.

“So are you moving in with your boyfriend then?”

Ringo tried to keep the curiosity out of his voice. But he wanted to know if the model was going to get something with Easy that he never did. A real home. A future.

“No I broke it off with him. He was a great guy just not the one you know?”

Ringo just nodded. He felt light on his feet for some reason, rocking back and forth. He should leave, he really should.

Easy didn’t want Ringo to leave. He wanted to stand there and pretend for a little bit longer. It was stupid. It’d almost been a year but after today the next time he saw Ringo he’d probably be married himself. The perfect half of the perfect couple.

“So where are you moving to then?”

That was the question wasn’t it? Easy didn’t know.

“Not sure yet. I’ve got a lot saved and with the money from leasing the kiosk I’m looking to buy. Just not sure where yet.”

“There are some places still available in my building.”

Easy laughed. Really Ringo?

“I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t like your ex living a couple floors away Richard.”

There, like that. He wanted someone to say his name like that. To say Richard like they loved the feeling in their mouth. Like it was perfection on their tongue. Like it wasn’t just his name, like it was everything.

“We broke up.”

He heard Easy’s sharp intake of breath.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

And again the silence. Ringo should head for the door. Why did he have to leave what he wanted behind? He turned away because he could feel it bubbling up. The love he had for Ingo Winter still, always. He learned today watching his brother that you could be made for one person. He was made for Easy. Why hadn’t that been enough?

Easy rubbed the handkerchief in his pocket. He should give it back. He should remind Ringo he had it. But he wanted another little piece to hang onto. He wanted another reminder that once upon a time he’d had a great love. The greatest love. Why had it ended again? Why hadn’t Easy been enough?

Maybe it was seeing the back of Ringo walking away. Maybe it was because he’d stood beside him at an alter where people declared their undying devotion. Maybe it was the last 11 months of trying to fill the void that Ringo had left behind.

Whatever it was it made him speak the words he swore he’d never say out loud.

“Why did you give up on us?”

He didn’t know what he was expecting but what he got was Ringo whipping around to face him. There were tears on his cheek and heartbreak in his eyes.

“Why did you let me?”

They met halfway, hands cradling each other’s faces. Just gazing. Looking. Remembering. Maybe time hadn’t torn them apart because it was like no time had passed.

“I love you.”

They both whispered it at the same time. Ringo smiled, Easy whimpered. Then their lips met and it was like the world fell into place again.

They ended up breaking a present or two when they pushed everything off the table. It was raw and intense and felt like coming home. Afterwards they made their way to Easy’s bed. It was soft and honest. A new memory that stretched seamlessly into the ones of old. It was them. It fit. It made sense.

Then they stayed up all night. They held each other and had the conversations they should have had 11 months ago. Probably even before that.

Ringo admitted that he would always feel like he wasn’t good enough for Easy. Easy admitted he would always worry he loved Ringo too much, that he smothered him. It all seemed ridiculous now, how they’d let their careers and fears take away the only thing that ever really mattered. Because their success without the other to share it with was nothing to celebrate. Not if they couldn’t celebrate it together.

Easy moved straight from the apartment into Ringo’s condo. He was a big fan of the in floor heating and the view. They both worked less and yet their careers didn’t suffer. When Ringo went to events with Easy on his arm the envy he saw in others filled him with pride. This was his partner Ingo Winter, yes that Ingo Winter, the photographer.

Their friends and family were ecstatic and thankful. They were just happy to have Easy and Ringo back. Turned out everyone had missed the couple because neither man had been himself without the other. Ringo thought he’d hidden it better than that. Easy knew he’d not been able to hide it at all.

Tobias just smiled at them and winked at Saskia. She hugged them both and asked what colour they would paint the new nursery. Seemed redecorating was repayment for broken wedding gifts. They went with a soft purplish gray with white accents. Saskia cried and rubbed her expanding stomach at the unveiling.

“Don’t you just have the best uncles ever?”, she whispered before she started crying all over again.

They eloped, just the two of them. They said their vows on a beach with the sand between their toes and the breeze brushing their faces. They made promises that were just for the two of them. Vowing to never let anything break them apart again. To love and cherish and never give up.

When Ringo held his niece for the first time he thought for sure he was going to drop her. She was so tiny and perfect and thankfully looked like her mother. Tobias was praising his wife, too busy to notice when his brother looked at his husband and whispered something no one ever expected him to say. Well no one except Easy Winter-Beckmann.

“She needs a cousin.”

#ringsy #ringo beckmann #easy winter #eaxy x ringo #ringo x easy #unter uns #uu #fan fic #fan fiction #anon request #saskia weigel #tobias lassner #tobias x saskia #a little sad #a little happy

[offtheisland]

Luxembourg and France!

Hallo!

It’s been a while since I’ve written a post, so here’s a long one to make up for it! Since it is currently fall break (Herbstferien) in North Rhine Westphalia, AFS offered some students in the area the opportunity to travel to Luxembourg and surrounding areas for a few days. I was fortunate enough to be able to go along, and it was such a lovely trip! I met AFS students from around the globe, saw some AFS-CBYX friends from Hamburg, and also had the opportunity to spend a few days getting to know my Betreuerin (AFS liaison/mentor), because she came on the trip as well.

The trip started early Sunday morning, when we got on a bus from Duisburg and drove for four hours to Luxembourg City, the capital of Luxembourg. We checked into our hostel and went straight downstairs to eat lunch...I had the biggest bowl of mussels I’ve ever seen, plus a salad, French fries, and a dessert (it was only 10€ for everything!). After lunch, we went out exploring the city for a few hours and bought a few snacks at Monoprix, a famous French grocery store. The cashier who rang me up spoke five languages–Luxemburgish, French, German, English, and Portuguese. Shortly after, we went to bed because we were so tired! I only knew one of my roommates, she was at language camp in Hamburg with me, so it was really nice to see her again! The other two were from Norway and Finland, which I thought was so cool!

↑ A view of Luxembourg from the bridge that was near our hostel.

Monday morning, we woke up early to visit Metz in France. It was my first time in France, and I was so happy to be able to add another country to the list of places that I’ve been! This entire trip was also a great opportunity to practice my French. We saw the Cathedral of St. Stephen and also just walked around the city–along the river and through winding old streets that were quintessential “Old Europe”. At one point, myself and another girl branched off from our larger group and walked by ourselves for a bit...and we discovered a park with a statue of Marquis de Lafayette in it. He left from Metz when he came across the Atlantic to help the American colonies fight for independence. As we are both Hamilton fans, we had a miniature jam session next to the statue performing Guns and Ships from the musical. (We also made sure to check that nobody else was around so we wouldn’t disturb any peace, in case you were concerned about that.)

↑ The Cathedral of St. Stephen from the outside...

↑ ...and a tiny corner of the inside. I just really liked the lighting in this picture.

For lunch, we went to a French restaurant, where I ordered quiche for myself and also ordered everyone else’s meal, because they did not speak French. It was nice to feel useful with a language, for once! Since coming to Germany I’ve had very few moments where I was better at the necessary language than someone else was. We had crêpes for dessert, because when in France...

After lunch, we still had plenty of time before we had to go back, so we went to a pharmacy (because French pharmacies are supposedly the best) and a few other stores. We also went to the cutest little café and had coffee and hot chocolate! I felt very French, even though I know there is more to a culture than its cafés. Just before leaving the café, I played a piece on the piano in the corner. Normally I would never do something like that, but I figured, “Why not?” and I am really glad I did.

↑ Another bridge view! Specifically, a bridge view in Metz.

Tuesday was Halloween! Only the Americans in the group really knew what it was all about, but it was fun nonetheless. In the morning we visited the Bock casemates, which at one point were actually used to defend the city from invaders. People lived inside and everything! Now, they are a UNESCO World Heritage site. They were a little spooky, especially in the dark corners!

↑ Inside the casemates, and a view from one of the “windows” of the casemates. They were partially carved out of rocks that were already there, partially constructed with stones from elsewhere. During World War II, they served as bomb shelters.

After that, we walked around the entire city of Luxembourg...inside the cathedral, past various historic buildings, and even through the luxury shopping district.(Luxembourg is one of the richest countries in the world, so naturally they have a few streets worth of designer boutiques.) We didn’t buy anything, only window shopped, but it was still really fun! And before going back to the hostel for the evening, we went to a bookstore. They sold books in Luxemburgish, French, German, and English. If one lived in Luxembourg, it would be so easy to learn so many languages! I bought a French to English dictionary, and the cashier spoke to me in both French and German. This is normal for Luxembourg though, I have no idea how their brains don’t get mixed up! Mine certainly was.

As it was freezing cold and all of the stores were closed, a few of us decided to have a night in, so we watched Hocus Pocus (a classic Halloween movie!) and ate chocolate before going to bed. It was a pretty successful Halloween overall.

Wednesday was the last day of our trip, so after packing up and eating breakfast, we left the hostel and headed to Trier, the oldest city in Germany, that has been around since Roman times. We passed under the Porta Nigra, a giant Roman gate that is also a UNESCO World Heritage site as well as a few other Roman monuments while walking along the designated “tourist route”. (I figured that was the best way to see as many monuments as possible in the least amount of time!) Even the parts of the city that were not leftover from Roman times were very old, and just as beautiful! The town really looked as though it had come from a story book.

↑ The Porta Nigra.

↑ View from the town square in Trier.

↑ Yep, this is real. It was a palace for one of the old rulers of the region, but now it’s just a historic site. The garden had statues and hedge mazes and everything! It reminded me of Alice in Wonderland.

Our last stop before heading back to the bus and driving home was the cathedral, where All Saint’s Day Mass was going on. I was a bit disappointed that we wouldn’t be allowed to walk around because of the service, but it turned out that we were allowed to stand in the back corner and observe. That ended up being better, because the organ was playing and the choir was singing for Mass! I was completely floored by the sound of it all, the acoustics were unbelievable. A great way to end a wonderful trip!

Thanks for reading this (very long) post, tschüss!

#germany #photo #tourism

[fj-stories]

Coming to Pandemonium: Lorelei

Once there was a girl named Lorelei, who lived with her grandmother on the banks of the Rhine. She was a beautiful girl since the day she was born. In addition to this, as she grew, her grandmother taught her the beautifying ways of plants and herbs. Among other things, she learned how, on the night of the full moon, she could rinse her hair with river water infused with certain herbs, making her long curls full and soft and glowing with moonlight.

Lorelei loved her grandmother, so every month she took her grandmother’s little birch cup, stuffed with herbs. She left her grandmother’s house as soon as it was dark and went upstream and down to the river in the light of the full moon. At the river, she filled the little birch cup with the water of the Rhine and set it on a rock to steep in the light of the moon.

She waited on the banks of the river all night. While she waited, she waded in the shallows in her nightgown. She danced in the water and sang moon songs about loves and lost loves until the first rays of the morning sun mingled with the light of the moon and her little birch cup was full of moonlight and the essence of her grandmother’s herbs. Then, she strained the herbs from the little birch cup with her fingers, squeezing them to extract the last of their juice. The remains of the herbs she flung into the river, thinking, perhaps, the river might have use for them. (To Lorelei, who knew the river best at night, the Rhine was a woman with flowing black hair that rain all the way to the sea.) With the little birch cup, she waded out into the river until her nightgown was soaked to her belly, and she rinsed her long curly hair with the water from the little birch cup. When she felt it had soaked enough, she lay back and allowed the water to carry her down, down, down to her grandmother’s house.

Lorelei went to the river each month under the light of the full moon just as her grandmother said until she was no longer a girl but a woman grown, and her hair was soft as well-worn flax and shiny as a polished silver spoon. As she grew older, she grew quieter. She had sung all the moon songs songs she knew of loves and lost loves and danced all the dances she knew.

Some in Lorelei’s position may have refused to wait in silence all night for the little birch cup to fill with moonlight. They may have said, “I have done what my grandmother said, and now my hair is soft and sleek, and it will stay so forever,” and they would not go to the river at all anymore. Lorelei loved her grandmother, though, so she continued to go. All night she sat and all night she stared into the black water.

In all the years Lorelei sang and danced on the banks of the Rhine, the Rhine had grown fond of her. Seeing her there, no longer singing but quiet and thoughtful, the river floated before Lorelei on the surface of the water dreams of loves and new loves to replace the songs of loves and lost loves she had already sung.

Lorelei watched, entranced, and began to weave new songs that had never before been sung. While she sat and watched and weaved and quietly sang and waited for the moon to fill the little birch cup, unbeknownst to her, a new pair of eyes watched from the riverbank. These eyes watched her.

The eyes which watched Lorelei belonged to her grandmother’s neighbor, an old widower who had recently married Alice Down-the-Lane, a woman not much older than Lorelei. For a whole night the neighbor watched and the night of the next full moon, as well.

Alice Down-the-Lane loved her new husband. When in the second month she was woken by the light of the full moon and found her husband not in bed, she went out of the house in her nightgown and followed the sound of newly-woven songs to the banks of the Rhine, walking softly on bare feet. There she found her husband sitting high on a rock on the banks of the river watching Lorelei.

Hearing Lorelei’s songs of loves and new loves, Alice Down-the-Lane believed Lorelei must be singing for her husband, and she sounded the alarm.

The night watchman came and, hearing the story of Alice Down-the-Lane, he took Lorelei by the arm and dragged her to the house of the bishop.

When they arrived, the moon light was only just beginning to mingle with the first rays of the rising sun. The bishop was still in his night shirt, but he was persuaded by the story of the watchman (who told him the story as told to him by Alice Down-the-Lane) to consider Lorelei’s case immediately.

“She was singing in the light of the moon,” the watchman said, “of loves and new loves. She was preparing a brew in a little birch cup to seduce the husband of Alice Down-the-Lane. Lorelei should be burned as a witch.”

The bishop was a good man, good enough, at least, to meet Lorelei before he condemned her to death.

Lorelei told the bishop of her grandmother, of the herbs she gave her to wash her hair under the light of the full moon, of the songs she sang pulled up from the river.

Seeing that Lorelei was good and loved her grandmother and did not know for her self the crafty ways of seducing men, he sent her to live in a convent.

Once again, the watchman took Lorelei by the arm. He did not allow her to say goodbye to her grandmother or return the little birch cup. He wrapped his cloak around her nightgown and dragged her by the river road that lead to the convent.

They walked this road for miles until it met a bridge that met a path that went off and away from the river. Knowing it was unlikely she would ever see the river again, Lorelei tore herself away from the watchman and ran to the middle of the bridge. She leaned over the rail to yell her goodbyes to the black haired woman whose hair was the Rhine.

Down the river floated the dreams the Rhine had yet to give her of loves and new loves. In the light of the sun, they glistened and shone on the surface of the water, like lovers dancing, beckoning her to play.

Lorelei was so seduced by what she saw, she dove over the side of the bridge and into the river.

The watchman ran and snatched at her to catch her and pull her away, but he was too slow and too late. He managed to catch only the end of her shiny, long hair, which slid through his fingers, slick as a cat. He searched for long along the banks of the river for Lorelei, until the moon waned and waxed and was full again, but no one ever saw her again.

There are many theories of what happened to Lorelei. Most say she drowned. Some say she became a water spirit who sits under the bridge that leads to the road that leads to the convent, who still sings songs of loves and new loves, luring men like the husband of Alice Down-the-Lane who cross to jump from the bridge and dash themselves to pieces on the rocks.

The truth is stranger than this.

When the light is just right, visions dance on the black surface of the water of the Rhine. If the visions pull you, and you dive into the dream, Lorelei will greet you and pull you down, down, down to depths so deep you come out the other side into the True Sea that holds a world of loves and new loves, and you join the dance.

#mythology #folklore #lorelei #true sea #awakening world #fiction #short story #free fiction