#which is fucking ridiculous but okay then

[em-prentiss]

Ice cold

————

In which you have freezing hands, and Aaron warms them up for you.

Cw: fem!bau!reader—I think it could also be read as gn reader, getting together, fluff, first kiss, no use of yn

Word count: 1.7k

This is my first time writing a reader insert, so please be gentle with me lol. I’ve been wanting to write an Aaron x reader for ages and this idea finally came to me last night. Idk if I’ll continue writing these, but if you have any prompts let me know! It took me ridiculously long to come up with this one haha <3

————

The cold bites at your exposed hands and you shiver, dropping your pen and notepad into your coat pockets because they’re all but useless now, your fingers close to snapping in half. You leave Aaron to jot down notes of the crime scene you’re in, keeping your hands in your equally freezing pockets in a poor attempt at keeping them warm.

Who has the energy to dump and mutilate a body in the woods in the middle of January, anyway?

“Isolated and hard to find, safe to say he’s a local.” You murmur, tucking your chin into the collar of your coat. You curl your numb fingers into your palm, cursing quietly at the stiffness in them.

“Yeah,” Aaron agrees. “One with experience, too. No blood spatter, no drag marks. He could’ve wrapped them in tarps.” He clicks his pen closed and slides it into his pocket along with his notepad, making you sigh in relief at the thought of leaving soon. “We’ll know more once Morgan and Rossi come back from the ME.”

You nod silently, clenching your fingers around the cold fibers of your coat pocket as you shiver again. Aaron’s gaze slides to you. 

“You okay?” He asks.

“It’s fucking freezing,” you grumble, hunching your shoulders and trying to wrap your coat tighter around your body. Your hands have gone fully numb now, clenched into icy fists inside your pockets. “My hands froze over. They’re like ice blocks.” You frown, your jutted bottom lip scratching against the wool of your coat.

Aaron smiles amusedly, his heart warming at the sight of your furrowed brows, your chin tucked into your coat for warmth. You shift slightly from foot to foot, subconsciously huddling closer to him and his endless, blazing warmth. 

He turns his back on the deserted crime scene and focuses instead on you, his eyes lingering on the flush on your cheeks, your skin bitten from the cold. He looks perfectly warm, you think grouchily, in his stupid large coat and his stupid neatly wrapped scarf.

“And yet when we went to literal Alaska you didn’t have any complaints,” he says. 

You huff indignantly, “Excuse you, at least in Alaska I knew it was going to be—” You cut off as his fingers wrap around your wrists and gently pull your hands from your pockets.

Immediately the cold bites at them again, but that’s not what makes you falter. “What are you doing?” You ask as he cups both of your hands between his. Distantly, you think it’s a stupid question. But his hands are so warm, large and completely engulfing yours, making you feel like you just stuck them in an oven. You let out an involuntary sigh, your brain going blank at the sudden heat from his hands.

Aaron ignores your question. “You weren’t lying,” he says mildly, bending his head to look at the way your nails were turning blue. He brings your hands up to his face and blows warm air on the blue tips of your fingers, massaging them with circular motions to force the cold out of them. Your heart picks up at the way your hands disappear beneath his, what’s visible of them looking small in his gentle grip.

Your skin is icy beneath his own. “Jeez, are you anemic or something?” He looks up at you and his lips tilt upward at the flush on your cheeks, deeper now than it was before, and you both know it’s not from the cold.

“No,” you squeak, the excessive heat of his hands rendering you incoherent. His thumbs rub gentle circles onto your palms, slowly forcing the warmth back into them. “Just terrible circulation.”

Aaron hums and looks back down at your hands, massaging them thoroughly until you start to regain the feeling in your fingers. You waggle them experimentally and he smiles a little, moving his thumbs up to your knuckles and rubbing them slowly.

You can feel your blush deepen as you look at him. His gaze is fixed on your hands, utterly focused on his task as if it were the single most important thing on his mind today, as if you didn’t have any pressing concerns like a team waiting for your feedback or a serial killer needing to be caught.

By the time he’s moved to your wrists your whole body is warm, your blood buzzing under your skin. He’s involuntarily shifted closer to you, your hands held so close to his chest your fingertips ghost against his shirt. 

His warm fingers brush over your wrist, catching your fluttering pulse, and your breath is trapped in your throat. Aaron presses your palms together and secures his hands over yours, finally done with his task. The warmth of your joint hands travels to your cheeks, the way his thumbs absently skate over the heel of your hands making your whole body flush. “Warm enough now?” He murmurs.

Just about to catch fire, actually. But you nod. “You’re a useful partner in conditions like these, Agent Hotchner. What with your furnace-like hands.” You try to joke through your racing heartbeat.

He chuckles lightly, his dimples digging into his cheeks. His hands are still holding on to yours. You’re glad for that, because otherwise you’re sure you would’ve risen on your tiptoes and pressed a thumb to each dimple, watching the way your fingers dip into the crevice. 

“Happy to be of service. Anything else I can warm up for you?” His eyes are like sun warmed honey, gazing into yours, and the words leave your mouth before you can think about them.

“My lips are cold too.”

Oh god.

You drop your gaze as your cheeks start to flame, a jittery nervousness suddenly making your stomach hurt. You try to tug your hands out of his grip but Aaron holds on tighter, his fingers wrapping around your wrists and holding you in place. 

You’re still looking down at your joint hands when he clears his throat. “I can help with that,” he says evenly, as if his own heart isn’t racing abnormally fast.

Your head snaps up. “What?” You breathe, frozen in place as he lets go of your hands. You don’t even register the sudden cold, your whole focus on the way he takes your face into his palms, his warm fingers pressing against your cold cheeks.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Aaron asks. His face is serious, all hints of his previously playful smile gone. Briefly you start to wonder if this is one of your many dreams about him, but his hands sear your skin, the icy air burns your lungs as you raggedly breathe in and out. 

You swallow, your throat unbearably dry, and nod. “Yes.” You grip the lapels of his coat, feeling the soft fibers between your fingers.

His face transforms. The hard lines soften, his seriousness melting away as he smiles again. The breath returns to your lungs. “Thank god,” he says bluntly, and you laugh, butterflies in your stomach, in your veins. You grin at him as his thumbs stroke your jaw, his fingertips sliding into your hair as he tilts your face up to his.  

“Your efforts at flirting are tragic, by the way,” he murmurs, just before he presses his lips to yours and steals your indignant reply. Immediately you melt into his arms, one hand slipping into his coat and the other resting on the hard line of his jaw. You always wanted to touch it, and as your fingers skate over it, wander over the skin that meets his neck, you feel his erratic pulse beating.

It’s good to know you’re not the only one ridiculously affected.

Aaron reluctantly pulls away when you both are breathless, his lips turning up into a grin at the sight of your dazed eyes. He leans in close and presses soft, gentle kisses on your lips—just to make sure they’re properly warmed up. 

You slip your hand into his hair and sigh—the cold has nothing on you now—just about to kiss him properly when his phone rings.

Aaron steps back and the biting cold replaces his warmth. You shiver as he digs his hand into his pocket and takes out his phone, your lips abnormally warm and your hands slowly returning to their once freezing state. 

“Yeah Dave,” he answers, his eyes still on you. You jut your bottom lip and he grins, his hand reaching for yours. He links your fingers together and softly runs his thumb over yours, making your cheeks flush again. “Sorry, we ran into traffic on the way. We’ll be there in an hour or so.”

Aaron ends the call and you laugh as he tugs you to the car, your fingers still linked. “What?” He smiles and you beam back.

“Traffic?” You raise your brows. 

He rolls his eyes. “What did you want me to say? ‘Sorry I got carried away kissing my beautiful subordinate’?” You reach the car and he opens the door for you, but you don’t get in. 

Your heart skips at his words. He smiles and you finally reach up and place your thumb into his dimple, your own smile spreading. “Yes,” you say simply, unable to believe you can finally do this. “You know they have a running bet on us.” You murmur, leaning forward to kiss the divot in his cheek.

Aaron’s skin warms beneath your lips. His hand falls to the curve of your waist and he squeezes lightly. “I know,” his voice comes out a little tight and you smile. He clears his throat and gently pushes you into the car. “The faster you get in, the faster we can collect. And we’ll use that money for our date, yeah?” 

“Deal.” You grin and get into the car, Aaron’s gentle hand guiding you into the seat. He can’t help but give you another kiss before he closes the door, your lips sweet and soft between his own.

You sigh as he climbs into the driver’s seat, your cheeks delightfully warm and your hands only slightly chilly. Aaron pulls out onto the road and his hand finds yours again. 

You thread your fingers between his and look out the window, feeling absurdly grateful for the cold woods you were in.

#emily is crying in the club lmfaoo #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner x you #soft aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner drabble

[mochalate]

[1] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 1.9k ft. questionable methods of contacting the paparazzi. [<- read intro][ch 2->]

Atsumu’s last elementary school report card— faithfully stored by his mother in a sturdy carton in her closet, along with her other important documents— has near perfect grades, and only one comment from his teacher. 

Atsumu chooses to deal with matters, both academic and personal, in an independent and determined manner.

By the time middle school was over, Atsumu hadn’t changed; but the comment sure had.

Atsumu prefers not to ask for assistance even if he is having trouble with his work. I would like to see him asking for help or clarification when required.

Then in highschool, he’d learned how to bite back his pride enough to earn an approving ‘Atsumu is an active participant in his learning’ by the end of his third year.

And now look at him, asking strangers online for help without a second thought. Old Mrs. Yamada from Yako Middle School would be so proud. 

Atsumu wonders how she’s doing. He idly types her name into the search bar, and immediately finds an obituary. 

He blinks at the pixelated picture of her sweet, smiling, deceased face; and tries to decide if he should take this as a portent regarding the consequences of asking for help, or as a reminder of the relentless march of time.

Time, which you and Osamu were spending together at this very moment.

Atsumu has to resist the urge to bang his head against one of the lockers. 

 He tries his best not to think about it; but it’s early afternoon, he’s done with practice, the last one in the locker room, and unfortunately, has far too much time to not only think about it, but vividly picture it too. It’s like a goddamn movie in his mind, complete with subtitles. 

(They’re hard coded in; because of course, he’s third wheeling so hard in this scenario, he had to resort to watching said movie on the shadiest of websites, battling the pop up ads telling him about the hot singles in his area— just to rub salt in the wound.)

It went like this: you and Osamu are baking a cake together. You tell Osamu he’s got flour on his face, giggling for some reason, and he asks where. So you point to your nose, and he smears some on your face with a grin. Barf. 

Oh Osamu, you’re so much more fun than Atsumu, you say, all doe-eyed. Your subtitles are pink. The sweetest thing I’m allowed to make him is sugarless raisin bran cookies.

Yer damn right about that, Osamu replies (looking right at the camera, deadpan), Let’s get married just so we can not invite him to the wedding.

Okay, maybe Osamu wouldn’t go that far. 

And maybe it wasn’t fair to hold the raisin bran cookies against you like that. He really did think they were chocolate chip; but in hindsight, it wouldn’t make much sense for his nutritionist to be giving those to him when he was supposed to be on a high-protein diet.

(Sue him, he thought you had enough of a soft spot for him to sneak him a treat.)

Atsumu sighs, and unlocks his phone again to pull up the post from last night. There are a few more replies— some calling it a fake story, a few asking for an update, and one person inexplicably telling him to go no contact with his brother. 

Ridiculous. The whole idea was ridiculous; and surely msbygirlie (bless her) would eventually see through his half-assed attempt at disguising who he was.

His index finger hovers over the delete button. 

And then his eyes land on that reply he’s been thinking about since last night. 

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

It was insane. He’d be adding fuel to a fire that was dying down. It would drive the publicist crazy. 

He wants to do it.

(Fuck, he’s going to do it.)

Atsumu Miya’s Guide to Finding and Trapping Your Local Paparazzi

Set a live trap in the location you expect your target to be.

“Shoyo,” Atsumu calls out, as he spots his wing spiker near the gymnasium exit, “ya free right now?” 

Hinata comes to a halt with a little hop, somehow still full of energy despite the full training session. “More or less. Why?” 

Why? Because Sakusa would scoff and walk away, stopping only to report his plan to Meian; and because Bokuto would accidentally blab and give him up, probably during a livestream. (She reprimanded them a lot, but really, it was him and Bokuto keeping the publicist employed.)

“I need yer help catching a pest. Want to take a walk with me?”

2. Bait the trap.

Atsumu stops abruptly at the crossroads. He snaps his head toward the convex mirror on the corner just in time to see a nondescript man, with a baseball cap pulled low over his face, ducking into the small general store just behind them. It’s quick— the doors are already propped open since it’s not quite warm enough to justify running the air conditioning.

Perfect.

Hinata nudges his elbow. “Why did we stop? Do you want something to drink?”

Atsumu takes a deep breath. “Do ya trust me, Shoyo?”

He looks perplexed at the question. It’s not an expression that’s often on Hinata’s face, so Atsumu takes a moment to appreciate the novelty.

Of course, it’s gone in a second; replaced with his natural enthusiasm. “Oh, did you want to practice at the park? I see, you wanted to bring me to a different environment because our rapport on the court was—”

Atsumu claps his hands over Hinata’s shoulders, lowering his voice. “If ya trust me, do exactly as I say. Go to the park. Got it? Do not follow me. Go straight to the park.”

“Aren’t you coming with—”

Atsumu fills his lungs with air, and firmly plants his feet on the ground. 

(A quick glance in the mirror at the man with the baseball cap. Still there. Good.)

Forgive me, Shoyo.

“GOOD LUCK ON THE DATE!” he says as loudly as he can, before it's shouting. 

Hinata goes red, sputtering. “Huh? Date?”

Atsumu claps his shoulders again, and gives him a subtle push. Hinata, still wide-eyed, stumbles along in the direction of the park, glancing back over his shoulder a few times. 

3. Wait.

Atsumu jogs the long way around the block to get to the park. 

It only takes five minutes of lurking behind a row of vending machines, and feeling a little sorry for Hinata who’s sort of nervously wringing his hands on a bench— he's the only other person in the park at this time on a school day— before the man in the baseball cap shows up. 

A camera is slung casually around his neck. The recording light is taped over. He’s so fixated on Hinata, he doesn’t notice Atsumu as he saunters up the path towards the machines.

(Which, all things considered, was quite surprising— Atsumu is not a small man.)

“Hey,” Atsumu says, once Baseball Cap is close enough. “Long time, huh? Two things. One, give me your camera. I know it's recording. And two, I have a few questions.”

4. Dispose of your paparazzi responsibly and ethically.

Fifteen minutes later, Atsumu is no closer to the truth; and is considerably more irritated.

“What am I supposed ta do with that?”

“Is he going to hit me?” Baseball Cap anxiously asks Hinata, “Can you hold my camera if he’s going to hit me?”

“Atsumu wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Hinata assures him. 

“I ain’t gonna hit ya, ya scrub! Don’t you go writin’ that up on yer damn blog next.” He pinches his nose, trying to calm himself. “I’m done with ya, go home. But wipe the memory card in front of me first.”

r/relationship_advice • 1 hour ago

u/fattytuna95

UPDATE: I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

I didn’t want to come back here again, but I don’t know what to do.

Like one of you suggested, I asked the guy who took the picture. You were right. He's been following them.

(Creepy as hell, to be honest, but he didn't seem like a bad dude. And he was pretty skinny. Guess being a privacy invading douche doesn't pay well. I think even my female colleague could take him down if she tried, so that's fine.)

What he told me is this: she stayed overnight at his place twice this week. 

Now I know what you're thinking. It's a lost cause. Pack it up and move along. Right? 

No.

Here's the thing— I was worried my brother was developing feelings for her, and I still am, but if they were already sleeping together he would have told me. There's something else going on here. I mean on top of the fake dating bullshit.

And for some reason, they're not telling me.

How do I find out what without telling them how I know?

↑ 65 ↓ •••

u/unicornpoodle • 4 minutes ago

wowww

dude, are you sure you want to keep going through with this? There's a lot of things you can unsee but walking in on your  brother fucking your crush is probably not one of them...

(and you're a twin to boot! You'd see exactly what could've been. Now that'll mess you up!)

↑ 15 ↓   •••

u/fattytuna95 • 4 minutes ago Shut up!!! I don't want to think about that!!!!!! ↑ 10 ↓   •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 10 minutes ago

lol I was lowkey joking about asking the guy, didn't think you'd actually do it. good for you. but uh, I might be with poodle on this one. you don't want it to be true, sure. but maybe they just didn't tell you? so it wouldn't be awkward at work?

↑ 12 ↓   •••

u/fattytuna95 • 9 minutes ago I shared a womb with the guy. I'm sure. You're an only child, aren't you? ↑ 12 ↓   •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 5 minutes ago

This is exciting!! I don't agree with everyone else, I think you should get to the bottom of it!!! Like atsumu said in his volleyball monhtly interview in june '21, the game isn't over until the ball falls to the floor!!!!! the ball is NOT on the floor yet!

maybe you should go over to your brother's apartment and see if there's any evidence.and you should just show up. don't give him any time to clean it. you can do that right???

↑ 12 ↓   •••

u/fattytuna95 • 5 minutes ago Hmm that could work actually. I've been there so much, I'll definitely notice if something's out of place. ↑ 10 ↓   •••

u/unicornpoodle • 3 minutes ago are you saying this because you believe in it, or because you want more update posts? this shit is going to be hilarious ↑ 5 ↓   •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • just now ofc I believe in everything atsumu says, omg!!! he's the best, fattytuna will agree with me. ↑ 1 ↓ •••

Osamu frowns at the cloudy night sky as he pulls the shutters down over Onigiri Miya's window. The moon is hidden, only a hazy hint behind the grey.

"Looks like rain," he comments, glancing over his shoulder. "Sorry I kept ya waitin'. We should've just done it another night."

Behind him, standing under the streetlight, you can already feel the tiny droplets drizzling on your face. But you shake your head. "I can just stay over again. We always end up losing track of time, and your place is closer to work than mine anyway."

The lock in Osamu's hand clatters against the corrugated metal. "Want ta move in and really sell it?"

You roll your eyes. "I would, but we're not a good match. We'd feed each other too much and end up gaining so much weight."

He chuckles. "Hey, at least I can appreciate raisin bran cookies. Ya won't catch me spittin' food outta my mouth."

You laugh at that. It wasn't his fault, you want to say, smiling fondly at the memory. He didn't realise I was joking about it being chocolate chip.

"Hey, Osamu?"

"Yeah?"

"Should we just tell him?"

now what could they be up to? [my other fics->] please leave a like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed! <3 divider @/cafekitsune

#atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu fluff #my fic

[guineverekrumbs]

Sweets or my sweet?

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You were baking cupcakes but Bucky has other ideas with the batter.

Warnings: Bucky barnes (he is a warning), Fluff, slight nsfw, implied smut. 18+

Comment if I should write a part 2 😏 (iykyk) Also this in unedited so im sorry for the mistakes.

"Okay, this looks right!" I beamed, as I finally turned off the mixer. The smell of chocolate wafted throught the air after our baking session.

Spontaneously deciding to bake chocolate cupcakes were suprisingly a good idea.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist, one warm and one cold. While a strong chin rested on my shoulder, his light stubble brushing my cheek; making me giggle.

"Smells good, doll." Bucky commended, his deep, husky voice tickled my ear earning a light shiver from me.

I grabbed the spatula and leaned it towards his mouth. "Here, have a taste."

"Won't t that make me sick?"

I arched an eyebrow before saying, "I thought super soldiers dont get sick?"

"Touché."

He leaned in towards the spatula and took a small lick of the the batter. His throat bobbed as he swallwed it. "Wow, that is good."

His compliment made me grin in delight."I know right!"

I was about to start putting them into cupcake holders, before I noticed a small fleck of chocolate batter on the lower left side of Bucky's lips. Cometpalting to leave it there for others to see, but deciding againts it since he was such a good sous pastry chef today.

Turning in his arms to face him, "Buck, theres a bit of chocolate on you lips." I said, touching to my own lips, trying to show him where it was.

"Really, where?" I thought he was gonna use his hands to remove it, but he suddenly just started darting out his toungue in a silly effort to remove it.

"Is it gone?"

"No.." I said, covering my mouth with my hand, stifling a laugh.

He looked so ridiculous, his tongue has licked every side other than the place that actually has the stain. You'd think he was doing it on purpose. "Okay, stop stoop! I got it."

His lips formed into an adorable pout before leaning his face closer to me, warm breath hitting my face. I quickly glanced at him to see that he was watching me like a hawk. And it made such a simple mundane thing feel more intimate which made me purse my lips as my cheeks felt a bit warm.

Since the chocolate was already a little dry, I licked my thumb before gently swiping on his lower lip, effortlessly removing the chocolate. "There! that was-"

Before I could wipe my thumb somewhere, Bucky held my thumb in place with his metal hand as he sucked on it. I could feel his tongue going over my skin and it felt like my entire body was on fire. I inhaled a sharp breath, not sure whether to pull hand away or let him lick some other places that were currently callimg out his name.

He let out a satisfied groan, the sound echoing through my body. "If tasted good before, now its a fucking 5 star michelin restaurant."

His mouth lets go of my thumb with a pop as his steel blue eyes gazed at me with such a predatory gleam, it should make me feel terrified, instead it makes me rub my thighs together. Already feeling the wetness pool between them.

Strongs hands carresed up and down my waist to the curve of my hips, til it gave my ass a light squeeze that made me squeal.

He continued carresing my ass before he dipped his 2 fingers, one from each hand into my covered core, making me clutch on tightly to his biceps.

"I see my favorite meal is already ready for me." He whispered huskily into my ear.

"Bucky.. not here." I whimpered

A smug smile formed om Buckys face at my reaction. He grabbed the bowl of cupcake batter behind me and pulled me by the hand as he says, "Now lets go eat dessert with my favorite meal."

PART 2??

#avengers #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x you #love #bucky smut #smut #marvel

[goldengrecha]

Let's talk about Maxie and Archie.

They're live in my brain rent free right now. I can't.

I can't stop thinking about how they're just.. Almost like created for each other. It's incredible. And it's makes my head ache so hard but like slash pos.

I love them. I love how they're the trope about Red Dude and Blue Dude, but at the same time 1) in manga it's the classic: the red one is more chaotic, while blue one is calm and collected, but 2) then there is oras. And now it's red dude is being collected and cool (but he is such a dork sometimes! Look at him! He is on a verge of breakdown) and blue one being emotional and lively

I love how oras just walks in and makes THEM. That's the one of rare pokemon games when the choose of your game version is actually MAKES DIFFERENCE more than just some exclusively pokemon and etc. You play Omega Ruby, and you're being like, woah, Maxie, dude, what the fuck. Dude what the fuck. And here is Archie, who first to realize their final goals are bullshit, and tries to stop Maxie from the fatal error. But then, out of curiosity, you're playing Alpha Sapphire. And it's slaps differently. Now, everything is opposite. And you're sitting here like woah almost entire plot is DIFFERENT. Like, okay, the «bones» of the plot is the same - but «meat», the insides of plot is different. It tastes different. It vibes different.

I love how oras makes them rethink everything. Oras makes them realize that their both positions are correct - just like everything in the Hoenn lives in harmony and balance, their positions can live together, and only in balance between them lies truth.

I think it's hits hard, because Hoenn is the region of duality and balance - different pokemon that makes duos, you're exploring water deeps just like you're walking on ground, even the double battles are first encountered in Hoenn. And then you have two seperate evil teams, and they're represents different things that IS IN Hoenn in balance. Of course it will hit hard when their leaders realizes that their conflict was silly and ridiculous. Of course it will hit hard when they're, two different men, will come to understand that everything here is living in harmony, and they're not exception.

It's hits hard already in Omega Ruby - this gentle feeling, the «coexistence», the «I suppose you may be right», after all that time they spend in conflict between each other. Perfect. (Maxie is just being a bit of tsundere lol)

But I think it hits even harder in Alpha Sapphire.

Because in Alpha Sapphire, Archie just straight forwardly agrees with Maxie - and i think it's something really beautiful. As if it is the point where they're finally ends their conflict and accept each other as they are.

Fucking perfect. Perfect.

(I'm also absolutely in love with this small bits of them calling each other by their names. I feel so much warmth and gentleness in these «Archie.. » and «Maxie..»)

And then there is manga. God fucking DAMN IT here is manga.

I love how they're interacting in the beginning - evil teams, different goals, etc etc.

But then something happens.

And this is the beginning of the end.

They're cooperate for a moment.

It's so fucking funny in retrospective - imagine best person in your life it's the man, which was your enemy once? It's so fucking funny. They're cooperate for moment - and then it hits them both. They're work perfectly together.

«We joined forces once, and we were successful»

It's an important quote for them in manga, I'm sure of it. It's important thing which will hit different once we will be in oras part of manga. It's an important thing for them, because it's the moment, when them, two enemies, realize, that they're work so fucking perfectly together.

And then, in ORAS, here is the moment when this quote hits again - again, it was perfect and good for them, when they're worked together. Again, their cooperation makes best results for both of them.

(Also, can we talk about how in ORAS manga they're talking to each other as if they're was partners all their lifes? As if they're best friends for all of their lifes? As if they're old married couple??? God fucking damn it. Holy shit.)

(And how in «that» world two of them became one? How them, the villains of arc and region which are build up on balance, duality and coexistence, fusion in one thing, while the beginning they was opposing each other? Isn't it funny? Isnt it fucking slaps reader's mind? Holy fucking shit.)

But manga doesn't calm down.

I don't have words for it.

Remember all these pieces with «join forces»? Here. It's the moment when it hits harder than anything anything else.

Imagine dying, and asking this. And it's even worse with that Archie doesn't even finish his sentence - but Maxie understand him without it. And OF COURSE he is going to agree. Because how he can not, when their bond became so strong? How Maxie can say «no» to this question, after everything?

It hits so hard. It hits so hard. They're get through such a chaotic path of life, and now, dying, they're both agree on one thing - that if they're will alive again some day, they need to work together again. They want to work together again.

It's such a beautiful thing. It's so different from the first join forces quote. It's just so... Wow. It's such a funny thing that the duo of enemies in the end becames the most powerful duo with such deep connection to each other. As if it was meant to be this way from the beginning. They're so fucking loving. They're funny. They're sad. They're so.. I don't know. Gentle? Caring? I don't have WORDS for these two. Holy shit

That's so fucking much going on for just «some villains for that GBA game with colorful pets lol»

#pokemon oras #pokemon #hardenshipping #IM FUCKING DYING #I cant. i cant. i feel so much. #im just wanted to talk about two men being gay #manga destroyed me #you said you love me bit archie asked maxie if they would be alive would he join forces again and maxie said yes #they're invented love #there is so much sense i cant i cant im going crazy

[daydreamalley]

A Ramble about Phase 19 of the Fifteen Manga Ft. Storm Bringer spoilers

Just absolutely cannot get over the 15 manga. I love the light novel so much, but this manga adaptation is so ridiculously amazing. Dazai and Chuuya’s proximity/touching has been amazing of course. I adore the way Hoshikawa draws Dazai and Chuuya as well (my baby boys, especially Chuuya). But these last two chapters with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Like, fuck. The whole “At least, one of them felt that way,” part just hits so much harder in the manga for me, with the art and page placement. And this whole most recent chapter. Like firstly, you don’t have to end every chapter with like Chuuya getting stabbed okay, help me out here.

Comparing the last page of phase 18 with Verlaine and the first page of phase 19 with Chuuya makes it so obvious that Rimbaud is seeing the similarities between them with just that parallel, which is confirmed later with Rimbaud quite literally seeing Verlaine standing behind Chuuya. 

Not to mention in phase 18 the “That’s right Paul, I remember you,” in conjunction with him seeing Verlaine in Chuuya.

Then that flashback with Verlaine carrying Chuuya and Chuuya’s just so small I could cry.

Like, I knew he was small, but he's just so young, I can't. People were experimenting on him. Like, how??

The way Rimbaud wants to ask Chuuya something and Chuuya crouches down to him. Which leads to Rimbaud putting a hand around Chuuya as he tells him to live. How close and personal they are when Rimbaud says all of this just make it feel so much more impactful for Chuuya. Kinda love too that Chuuya isn't just standing over Rimbaud. He's making it obvious he's open to listening.

Rimbaud says a lot of shitty things to Chuuya up to this point, even complaining that he has to kill a kid while only referring to Dazai, completely not acknowledging Chuuya as anything more than Arahabaki. But once he fully remembers what happened with Verlaine, I feel like that’s when Rimbaud remembers what he truly believed about Verlaine and his humanity and how that extends to Chuuya’s humanity. Because Rimbaud’s whole final speech is most definitely things he’d also thought of or told Verlaine before (as I think is confirmed in SB). I think those are Rimbaud’s true thoughts and beliefs on the matter, it just took that long for him to remember the full story and how he felt about it all. Rimbaud saw Verlaine’s struggles with humanity, and now he also remembers why Verlaine betrayed him. And so he tells Chuuya to live, just as Verlaine wanted him to back then, live without the burden of worrying about your humanity or where you came from, because “you are you.” It doesn’t matter if Chuuya (and Verlaine) “are but a pattern etched on the surface of raw power.” In Rimbaud’s mind, and honestly where we eventually end up at the end of SB, is that it really doesn’t matter what your origins are, whether someone is an artificial personality (aka pattern) etched onto raw power, because really everything is some version of a pattern upon the world. And in a word with abilities, a lot of people are a pattern connected to a power. Just as in SB Chuuya decides that even though Adam isn’t human and he knows it, it doesn’t take away from Adam’s actions, his sacrifices, or his dreams. Same goes for Chuuya and Verlaine. Their origins don't affect how human they truly are. Their humanity is significant no matter what. It just took a bit more convincing for Chuuya to get there, a little more than what Rimbaud could offer on his (almost) deathbed.

Anyway, Chuuya holding Rimbaud’s hand as he dies just does things to me. Like, the book described that “Both Chuuya and Dazai quietly listened as if there was something in what Randou (Rimbaud) was saying that they couldn’t allow themselves to miss… Some things, however, would not return to normal: the body of a man who no longer felt the cold, and the hearts of two boys who stood rooted to the spot, staring at him. A gust of wind peered through their souls as it passed them by.”

This page just so well depicts that last line. It truly feels these boys have heard something so monumental, that they won’t ever forget. Standing in the aftermath of their first fight together, hearing these words about humanity that both mean so much to both of them. Dazai’s expressions really convey this to me in the manga, and convey it just so beautifully. And Chuuya being so close to Rimbaud when he speak those words just makes it feel like those words truly are so monumental for him. And also this means that Chuuya fought to kill a man, that to be entirely fair and clear was trying to kill him first, and then held to his hand as he dies, and there’s just something about this added detail that’s so significant to me in portraying the weight of it on Chuuya. Chuuya's connection to Rimbaud is a complicated but important one. But really these words are important for both boys, because let’s not forget that Dazai also struggles with his humanity. Even if he doesn’t have a physical reason to doubt his humanity, like Chuuya, there are many other reasons that he does doubt it. So hearing that all people and all of humanity are really just patterns within the physical world, human or not that’s true of everyone and everything, and that’s important for Dazai to hear too. I think both boys think back to Rimbaud’s final speech quite a bit, if I’m being honest or did for a while.

I am NOT getting over the detail that someone (Chuuya??) put Rimbaud’s scarf on his grave. I just… it does something to me and I love that detail so much. And cutting back to that “You are you” line while Chuuya’s talking to the grave is just so perfect in my opinion, and again just shows the significance of it so, so well. It’s like, he's talking to Rimbaud, complaining about his actions really, and then it cuts to that “you are you” and it just shows almost the contrast I guess between Chuuya feeling unrest at not finding stuff about his past that Rimbaud could’ve given him, but maybe wouldn’t have anyway, and Rimbaud’s statement that those things don’t matter because Chuuya is who he is beyond all that. Also the little dandelion blowing into the wind, to me also signifying a wish being spread.

Anyway, entirely unnecessary to end the chapter with a big knife in Chuuya’s back, thanks. Especially after Chuuya mentions how he’s still exhausted from everything. Like let’s just, stop, please.

He's just a boy, leave him alone for the sake of all things good.

#Let's all appreciate Hoshikawa and how much they seem to truly understand the characters and how beautifully they depict it all #Can't get over Dazai's expressions in this chapter #Or generally the skk physical interaction #Or how scrungly they are #Or just Chuuya like ever but the art style is so good #They make me wanna gnaw on drywall #my ramblings #don't know if I said anything of value hence tis only a ramble #bsd #skk #bungo stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd analysis #sorta #dazai chuuya age fifteen #fifteen manga #fifteen manga spoilers #fifteen no longer looks like a word #bsd stormbringer spoilers #bsd fifteen manga phase 19 #bsd rimbaud #bsd randou

[nothingenoughao3]

Why we wanna transition to Mad Scientist (or, revulsion and queerness in horror)

(Hi, @ash-eats-film! This is the thing I mentioned!)

Horror has a few baseline emotions it tries to inflict on the audience. This has been written about for decades, most famously by Stephen King, but the baseline elements most writers agree on are as follows.

Dread: Anxiety over what is about to happen

Terror: The fear of what is occurring right this second

Revulsion: Being forced to interact directly with what's happening right now

Black comedy: Being tricked into laughing at either the terror or the revulsion

Horror: The trauma response to what just happened

A great example of this can be seen in The Evil Dead II (YT link that doesn't include the full context, but does have the, uh, money shot). There's the dread of realizing there's something in the root cellar; the terror of when the Deadite pops up in the trapdoor; the combined revulsion and black comedy of Ash jumping on the Deadite's skull/the door, popping out its eyeball which shoots into Bobby Joe's mouth, and then the horror of what just went down rolling over Ash and his current companions.

Often, revulsion and black comedy go hand in hand. That's because they're tension relievers. The revolting thing becomes ridiculous, and you laugh at how ridiculous it is. This lets you settle down in the midst of the gore and death, just slightly, just enough to get through it... so the horror can fully set in for you, too, once it's over.

You also, often, question your own stability if you laugh in the middle of a gross-out horror scene: "Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me for laughing at X?" This is even worse if the villain starts laughing--now you're questioning whether you're IDing with the monster. Are you okay? Is something wrong with you?

Revulsion is often framed as the slutty member of the good, proper, morally-upright brigade of horror. We have a name for folks who seek out gross-out horror--they're gore-hounds, a term that is virtually always pejorative when applied to other people. We call certain types of horror "torture porn" or "gore porn", as though it is inherently sleazy and sexual to rely on this specific emotional reaction. (Note that we don't have "black comedy-porn", or "dread hounds", even though a dread hound sounds really fucking cool.)

Not to go off on a huge tangent, but I think the issue with media that overly relies on revulsion is that it's unbalanced, not that it's bad. A movie that's nothing but dread never has any emotional payoff. A movie that's nothing but terror never lets the audience relax back into their seats and, paradoxically, will become boring (imagine two hours of jumpscares).

So forth and so on: all aspects of horror rely on each other to survive. That includes scenes that make you go "Awww, sick" while nervously cackling.

Here's the thing: in previous generations, revulsion was similarly understood to be an essential part of horror, but what led to a revolted reaction was very different.

Lovecraft (boo this man! BOOOOO) understood the power of revulsion, which was the source of a lot of his strangest and most vivid descriptions. It was also the source of some of his most bigoted ideas working into his stories. The undercurrent of "non-WASPs are evil because they are repulsive" is as pervasive in his work as "the universe is incomprehensibly vast". You kind of can't get around that.

But there's another thing Lovecraft did to generate revulsion. He wrote a number of stories where an unhealthy focus on corpses, graveyards, graverobbing, and the like is, indirectly or directly, associated with sexual perversion. 

How many, you may ask? Off the top of my head, there's "The Loved Dead", "In the Vault", "The Disinterment", "Pickman's Model", The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, "The Hound" and "Herbert West: Re-Animator". All of these tales share certain themes, which don't repeat beat-for-beat in each tale but do overlap:

Male character becomes obsessed with dead bodies--whether that's stealing them, having sex with them, desecrating them, or resurrecting them.

He is comfortable around death and the dead to a degree that is unusual, sometimes explicitly stating that he prefers the smells/sights of death to those of life.

Terms like "fiendish", "hellish", "abnormal" and "perverse" are used to describe him; his gaze towards dead bodies or to experiments may be framed as "leering" or "speculative".

He is frequently a twink; often described as being frail, if not noticeably beautiful; he may recall being mocked for being "bookish" or "weak" as a child.

He is superficially charming in a way that gets him by in polite society, but not long-term nor in-depth.

He often ensnares an otherwise "normal" man to share his obsessions, effectively recruiting him as an assistant... until the "normal" guy realizes he's about to go on the chopping block (or, in at least one story, already was on the chopping block).

Their crimes involve a lot of sneaking around late at night, locked doors, whispering so they don't get caught (or they'll be killed), secretiveness, glee at getting away with it, and frequently, sharing the same living space.

The Unrepentant Evil Dude is often killed at the end of his tale in a way that implies vigilante/mob justice is at hand. 

The other may be allowed to live if he's very sorry and frames the whole story as being the fault of the other guy, or he may die too while affirming his horrible demise as just, even if it terrifies him.

(One could make an argument that Wilbur Whateley fits into some of these tropes. It's me I'm one)

If this all sounds very gay, Lovecraft probably would have agreed. He had as dim a view of homosexuality as he did on most other things that were Outside The Norm. In other words, we were supposed to see Richard Upton Pickman with his ghouls and think, "Ah, yes, this is a metaphor for queerness", only we were supposed to be revolted by that revelation.

This same attempt at revulsion can be easily read into Victor Frankenstein, and probably more Mad Scientists than I can name offhand (but feel free to in reblogs). Frankenstein's "crimes against nature" were connected to dead bodies as well, and likewise involved a lot of sneaking around, locked doors, and worry about what would happen were he caught with this naked man-thing he's keeping in his dorm. His crime, as with his parody character Herbert West, is creating life outside the bounds of heterosexual cisgender sex. This was meant to revolt readers' sensibilities as much as the whole cutting-up-corpses-and-stitching-them-back-together thing would.

This is why, if we're being honest, "Re-Animator" and "Bride of Re-Animator" are not necessarily gay… they're homophobic. This might be controversial, but stick with me.

I feel like Gordon and Yuzna were tapping into that old-fashioned Revulsion Handbook, including from the source material, which thematically linked Herbert West with queerness. (I'm using "queer" a lot here, but I would personally include trans-friendly readings under that rubric; I'm using "queer" in the analytical sense and not solely in the identity sense.) This means that, ironically, a lot of what we could point to as queer subtext is actually homophobic text.

This is reinforced by the novelization of the first film, written by a homophobe who got Trumpist brainworms later in life. He wanted to make West repulsive to the reader, and therefore, he tried to make West more gay. And IT WORKED. 

To be clear, I'm not accusing anybody, other than the novelist, of being a homophobe. There's a difference between possessing internalized bigoted beliefs which express themselves in writing, versus utilizing tropes originating in bigotry because That's What's Done Around Here. (I can understand why others might not perceive a meaningful difference.) Like the Cuzco lizards, this queerness-as-villainy is definitely a stupid thing ported in from the source material.

I do think that this is why everybody but Our Queen Barbara Crampton seems embarrassed or nonplussed by all the transfags pestering them about fellatio tapes. It's because they don't get why this thing appeals so much to us. It shouldn't. If anything, they should be canceled for having yet another queer-coded villain, along with a number of other plot choices of questionable taste (I'm looking at you, The Head Scene, and I don't like what I see).

Only, uh, it didn't work out that way long-term, did it?

I thank Cronenberg and venereal horror for this, in part. Brutally queer despite not being explicitly gay, venereal horror is what happens when the characters should be revolted, but aren't. 

This kind of thing is horrifying for crossing the line twice: first by being disgusting, then by having characters respond as though it is exciting, or sexually stimulating, or if nothing else, normal. They are perverse. They leer at the dead and the subjects of their experiments. And the disgusting monsters at the center of these narratives are celebrated. Their twisted sexualities are explored with the same brave frankness other filmmakers give to milquetoast cishet missionary nonsense. Their political views are given life and air, and usually, they're right. Their deaths, if they come at all, are framed as tragedies brought on by society's sick rejection of the flesh their brave experimentation.

Cronenberg's the dude who unironically thinks that Shivers (trigger warning for literally everything) has a happy ending. My man David's got subscriptions where others have issues.

Venereal horror has given us a new metaframework for looking at the repulsive, the monstrous, and the problematic and responding to it… differently.

Now here's another thing: Lovecraft likewise provided a structure for embracing the grotesque and the queer.

Pickman, the Decadent artist, paints photorealistic, enormous portraits of ghouls. Literal flesh-eaters. He is fascinated by them, comfortable with them. "Model" heavily implies that Pickman is a ghoul changeling--switched at birth with a human child. This leans into Lovecraft's ideas about heritability being a major source of horror, of course, and seems run of the mill until you get to The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath.

In there, Pickman appears again, but this time as a ghoul. He has cast off his human social shackles and joined the beings he loves, beings who understand him and support him. Kadath is notable in that the ghouls are actually... like... reliable, loyal, and morally good? Carter's opinion pretty much is, "They do eat human corpses and they smell awful, but they're all very nice and want to help me on my quest, so maybe they're not so bad (if not as good as the cat army)".

This feels like Lovecraft acknowledging that his entire approach of linking queerness, death, and revulsion is fundamentally flawed. Once you become familiar with the repulsive, it becomes not-really-that-repulsive-at-all. You can find beauty in it, and amusement, and love. Pickman embracing his ghoulish nature isn't all that different from Seth Brundle's overall lack of revulsion at his body's transformation. And it's not that different from what a lot of transmasculine folks go through, either.

It's not that transmascs, trans men, and/or transfags don't see what West does as crimes against nature. It's that we're all very fucking tired of being accused of crimes against nature. We're tired of not being able to look at socmed without finding accusations that we're disgusting perverts who sneak around behind closed doors to corrupt innocent, promising people to be our lackeys and partners in crime.

Hell, I refer to my wife as "my partner in crime" not because it's a cute way of acknowledging how well and how much we work together both in life and creativity. It's also because we could have been arrested for our relationship when we got together.

We were illegal.

There was a lot of sneaking around and whispering and trying not to get caught and "what if they call the cops on us if we're clocked". Can I tell my friends about this? Will they reject me or rat me out? Where am I safe? Nowhere. Best to lock the door and then check it again to be sure. Best to be very quiet.

Best to act like a graverobber trying to get their grisly wares back home before good, decent, Christian folk see them.

So when I hear "Blasphemy? Before what God?!", I read it as (whether he's ace or aro, gay or achillean, trans man or transmasc or genderfucked) a queer slogan of defiance, instead of a defense of graverobbing, corpse desecration, and non-consensual resurrection.

We're told we and our bodies are repulsive, so being told that Herbert is also repulsive makes him more relatable. Instead of wondering what the hell's wrong with him for shooting up reagent, we all theorize that it's actually T or has similar effects--because we're all told that T is a toxin that will horribly change and disfigure our bodies. He dresses in a three-piece suit for school, and instead of reading him as a stiff and overly-formal little freak, we assume he's layering up because he hasn't found a hoodie he likes yet. 

He cackles at his horrific creations, and instead of saying "What a fucking freak (anguished)", we say "What a fucking freak (affectionate)" and laugh along with him. Who among us hasn't taken apart our Barbies and tried to combine their parts with the Kens? What is a doll, or a human, but a collection of parts to be rearranged? Haven't we also been told we're freaks for rearranging our own parts?

We've already been told by society at large that we are Herbert West. We're just embracing it, in the proud tradition of venereal horror fans who are not revolted when they ought to be, and I think that's delightful.

#fandom meta #reanimator #re animator 1985 #bride of reanimator 1991 #bride of re animator #herbert west #headcanon #transmasculine #body horror #venereal horror #cronenbergian #writing trope #i live for analysis #lovecraft #this has been rattling around in my head for ages and probably isn't going to cover everything or be correct but here we all are anyway #hope y'all like it

[honourablejester]

“There are some that suggest that areas of heavy limestone have some sort of connection to paranormal events.”

I’m watching a video about the hauntings of Houska Castle in the Czech Republic, and this line came out, and I just …

Okay. Noodling around, apparently this is about properties of limestone as a material (made of deceased organic creatures, so more psychically permeable), which is a whole different ballgame, but if it was about limestone areas, I can tell you exactly why they’re associated with hauntings and other mysterious things.

It’s because they’re full of fucking holes.

Limestone is ridiculously vulnerable to water, and karst caves can be fucking huge. As an exercise, hop over to wikipedia’s list of longest cave systems in the world, and head down through the list, and see how many of them are limestone (with some gypsum for variety). The same for the list of deepest cave systems. Limestone areas are often just riddled with gaps and holes and weird formations, and weird noises from weird formations, and people vanishing because goddamn holes opened up under them when a below-ground cave finally got eaten enough to collapse. They’re just …

Limestone areas are full of caves. The caves go long and deep and weird. People hide in them. People die in them. People vanish near them. They’re just full of holes. So yeah, they’ve a reputation for weird shit and people going missing. Because they’re full of holes.

Sorry. I’m actually not opposed to paranormal stuff. I quite like ghost stories and paranormal exploration and all of that. Just. Talk about the actual natural causes first?

Especially since this particular case, Houska Castle, the whole thing is that a bottomless pit opened up in the limestone under it and is rumoured to descend to hell. And like. Yes? It’s limestone. That shit do happen.

The stories are really fun, though.

#random #paranormal #geology #limestone might be haunted #but it's DEFINITELY full of holes #big ones

[idontplaytrack]

Flaws

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: fluff, angst. coarse language, quarrelling. Implied/slightly described messy home life

In which, Janis has always been reader’s source of love and comfort. Through the pretty and the ugly.

“

I’m on the incredi-coaster. Some days I am on the highest of highs, huffing chocolate-chip cookies, and, other days, I liiiterally want to jump right off

”

— Auli'i Cravalho, 2023

I like making myself emotional apparently 😁

“Are you okay?” Gretchen asks in a quiet voice, studying your face closely.

No.

“Yeah.” You shrugged, focusing your eyes on the whiteboard and teacher at the front of the room.

“You alright?” Regina shot you a look, “What’s going on with you? You’re not yapping about like you usually do.”

“No, nothing.” You replied dismissively. Why’d she notice anyway?

“y/n, what…what are you doing? You’ve got the answer wrong.” Cady mentions.

“What?” You snapped out of your trance, shaking your head slightly as though to get rid of the unwanted thoughts. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry- I just-”

Just felt like crying, honestly.

“Maybe you should sit this one out.” Aaron says, “You look a little pale, are you sure—”

“Yeah, why the heck not?” You cut him off, grabbing the dodgeball and then threw it back to him.

Your day was going…alright— arguably.

“y/n, what is going on with you? I literally called for you twice and you just stared at your food.”

“I’m fine. Just tired, Damian.” You plopped the fork back onto the tray.

You spent half your school day without Janis since you both had, essentially- the same classes but at different times. After lunch was art class, where you’d see Janis for the first time since she picked you up from your house. “Hi, baby.” She presses a kiss to your cheek before taking her usual seat in class. You sat down beside her, your mind drifts back to last night’s useless quarrel with your Mom and Dad.

Janis was watching, you could feel it. But you continued looking straight ahead at the front of the room. You couldn’t lose it now, not after you’ve tried so hard to keep it together and you weren’t about to just…give up.

"Okay." Janis' voice pulled you back, "We're ditching, let's go."

"No." "Yes, come on. Before Mr. Riley gets here." She insisted. Next thing you knew, you were being led out of the school by Janis and into her Mom's car. She'd texted her Mom to come and pick the two of you up, and she did. But quickly left the house after you two'd been dropped off to go run errands.

"It happened again, didn't it?" Janis asked knowingly while shutting her door.

You scoffed, avoiding eye contact with her. Janis sat down beside you and carried on speaking, "I told you- you don't have to pretend with me. You do enough of that every fucking day, trying to care for your sisters, your Mom, yourself."

Damn, she really was always listening whenever you'd vented to her.

"I'm sick of it, you know? Have to re-parent myself, gentle parent myself- it's ridiculous. They made me this way and yet I'm the one doing all the work? While whatever's made me like this is still happening?" Your voice quivered, you sniffled, got up and walked to a corner of her room to avoid having her see you like this. Upset, teary, weak.

Janis saw a side of you that everyone else failed to see: the little girl inside you pleading to be loved and cared for instead of being picked on or dismissed. Or having every little flaw of yours scrutinised. Every time after you'd poured your heart out to her, you brushed it off as 'being in a mood'. But she doesn't. Janis knows it means something and has been helping you all this time. To undo the damage that's been done to little you. Janis allowed you to express your emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, anxiety, disgust...all of it. She's never once held you back but instead stayed along side you while you did what you needed in the moment, felt what you needed to feel in the moment. Janis knew every little quirk of yours like the back of own hand, she knew what made you happy, and what made you not so happy. She knew exactly what to do in any given moment which has made you feel like her burden. Which...you'd expressed in passing but she didn't agree. Janis immediately shut you down. But you insisted, saying it wasn't her job to fix you.

"y/n- listen to me. You are right, it's not my job to fix you- to fix any of this. But as your partner and someone who loves you, it is my responsibility to help you grow into a better person- a better version of yourself. You don't realise that so I'm telling you my point of view, okay? You've helped me too, you know that? You've made me less blunt, more patient...things that I weren't before I met you, y/n. It's not just me putting in the effort, you are too. I see how hard you're trying...to break the cycle and that's so important to remember in moments where it doesn't feel like it."

Now was one of those times...but you couldn't fight what you were feeling. Those emotions you've tried so hard to work through were all boiling back up. But still, you bit back those tears. And it physically hurt.

————

The more eager you seemed in avoiding looking at her, the more eager she was in walking up to you to make you took at her in the eye. "Why do you even love me?"

'What the fuck.' Janis thought to herself. That was honestly her first thought and what she wanted to say but she stopped herself, taking a deep breath instead, "You cannot choose who you fall in love with. And I don't have just one reason why. It just feels right, like it's meant to be." Janis slowly walked up to you from behind, "You don't see yourself the way I see you and it hurts me that you hate yourself this much. You're doing the best you can, baby. I see that, but please listen to me now, okay? Let it go, you need to let those tears go. Stop holding it in, it's okay. It's okay to cry."

Oh, what the hell.

You really just let go of the tears you've been swallowing all day long, falling limp in her arms as you choked on a sob. Whatever happened last night was anything but new, but it always upset you and brought you to a shitty place. Eventually, her back hit the wall and you two slid to the floor with you still safely in her embrace. She's witnessed worse, but this doesn't cause her invalidate your emotions. Janis would never do that to you- she never has. Janis loved you - every part of you. It's been clear since day one, nothing fazed her but what you had to go through all your life only angered her, wanting nothing but the best for you.

Janis had days like this too, and you were there for her without a second thought. Nothing mattered more than making sure she knew you were there for her. When you were in her shoes, you do it without even thinking. But whenever you were on the receiving end, you never could take your own advice or words that you so earnestly gave to your girlfriend.

Right now, was one of those days where you felt like jumping right off. Nothing felt worth it, everything you fought and worked for seemed futile. You, felt like shit. But Janis, no- she was a fucking saint, so damn patient and loving and it scared the shit out of you to have seen and experience the stark difference in her personality in public and in the safe walls of home...that side of her was as real as it was a show for self-defence. You never did experience love like this till Janis came into your life. All your life, you learnt that love had to be earned. That love was smashed glasses, broken walls and slamming doors. Absolutely nothing like what you could've imagined it to actually be and it terrified you.

Hurt in private, shine in public. Right?

You stop eventually, feeling nothing left inside of you anymore. It's not like you were a loud crier by any means, but it just went on for several minutes and the more sober you felt, the more you kept thinking that you should just...stop. Even with her whispering words of assurance into your ears over and over, her telling you she loved you.

"Do you wanna stand?" She asks, both her hands cupping your cheeks. You just did, not giving her a verbal response. Sighing, you went into her bathroom to freshen up then changed into a set of clothes that were hers. Wordless. Not another word came out either one of your mouths as all of this was carried out. Because she knew you- that's how you worked. You climbed into her bed, and she does the same, spooning you as you felt yourself relax further under her touch. Your arms rested on hers as you gave her hands a squeeze, hoping she got what you meant. She did, of course she did. She knew what every little gesture meant. Janis could read you like a book.

You two dozed off for a little while, and when you woke up again you were expecting a bitching headache- which did start. But eh, you'd be fine. You felt better after letting yourself feel what you needed to feel. Both of you acknowledge whatever's happened prior to the nap, but moved on with your day focusing on anything but that. That was done. While you were curled up on the couch, Janis threw a frozen pizza into the oven along with the last bit of chicken tenders, she said. Again, you did not say a thing but she knew you were listening. You were the one who requested the pizza after all.

You two've gotten the routine done and that's what mattered on days like these. You knew she loved you and why, but when emotions were running high, a lot of crap tended to be said. A little bit of love, patience and peace went a long way in these times. "Janis." You looked at her, she looked back at you, "Thank you. I love you." "Anytime, baby. I know you do. I love you, too." Janis said back, running a hand through your hair while you had your head in her lap now, "We're doing just fine."

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #reader insert #x reader #female reader #lgbtqia #wlw #queer #wlw fanfic #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #Spotify

[baekuras]

Apparently my one weakness are duplex apartments

My second weakness is not having enough money to rent one

#txts #i just like the openness and just....have extra space further up-ness and all that #they always look so nice and...fresh? #just all the space #but i can barely pay for a shitty apartment bc even the most basic shit takes half my salary lol #but i still wanna #and i also want at least one big window i can put a fucking chaise or smth in front of #to dramatically lay on and look outside #just for aesthetics nothing else xp #i have dreams ppl #also a big bathtub so its actually useful and not just a hinderance #i need...to earn so much more money #30k a year just isn't enough to actually live #which is fucking ridiculous but okay then

[gaoau]

smth smth uhhh tsurune character analysis time wsg

i've never done this before in my life and i shouldn't even be doing it cause that's crazy tf BUT hi :blush: i'm Kisaragi Nanao's number one fan and hater simultaneously and i need to talk about it. chances are none of this will make the slightest bit of sense, cause thinking about his brain for more than five minutes usually has me going around in circles like a headless chicken. its been almost a year and i have not been able to stop thinking about him, not even in my most trying times so i might as well do the one thing i'm good at and write each and every single one of my thoughts down so the void can eat them all up. my friends are tired of hearing me talk about this so now its your turn, people in the tsurune but more specifically the Nanao tag on tumblr dot com. i'll try to avoid the Kaito talk as much as i can cause i wanna make this solely about Nanao, but i also understand that a lot of their character development goes hand in hand with one another, so it's sort of inevitable

to be completely honest, i wanted to be a Ryohei girlie so bad, i would've even settled for Seiya. i just knew the moment Nanao pulled up and was presented as the flirty annoying playboy, i wouldn't like him. i said it with my whole chest, firmly believing i would find absolutely no reason anywhere in his character to enjoy him. motherfucker i have never been more wrong in my life. at first glance, it doesn't even look like there's much to talk about, cause he doesn't do a whole lot in the first season. except he does. there's only snippets of depth in his character that exist, but he does not let show in order to watch over everyone around him. his introduction is loud and frivolous, especially with one of his first spoken sentences being about his "hakama beauty."

sure, he's good at kyudo, but he's not particularly excellent nor passionate about the sport. this, however, is not true, which builds up in his character as the first season progresses and eventually overflows in the second season. for a character that, in universe, is shown to be in the spotlight consistently ever since he was a child, he's none of that on the range, because that isn't his place. his position on the range is not as important as it is outside of it; he is the yonteki, he is neither at the beginning nor the middle nor the end, he cannot show off, he cannot be the centre of attention as he tends to be. it's true that he attracts a lot of attention and plays into it naturally, because he enjoys it and extroverts, however unfortunate, do exist, but he knows when to take a step back and when to go all out.

there's something i can't ever seem to quite put my finger on. although he is naturally easy-going and playful, this is only a ramped-up front he uses to watch from the back. it's like he's hiding, like he's staying nonchalant and uncommitted so things wash over him. he's blunt. he's so blunt. he really doesn't sugarcoat things, he just doesn't say them until he needs to. i don't wanna call it manipulation, cause that's got a rather negative connotation, but i do wanna call it manipulation, cause that's what it is. he knows how to manipulate responses and reactions with how easy he reads the people around him, and he uses all of that in a very level-headed way to keep peace, though it's always mainly Kaito. it's as if people are malleable to him. it's in the way he pulls Ryohei into doing that whole charade to get Kaito to like Minato, in how he straight up tells Kaito "yeah, it's cause you're being annoyingly tsundere, we're just giving you a push," or in how he tells Minato "yeah, Kacchan don't like you, but he's working on it."

he knows, he's watching, and he's making sure everyone is being accounted for without meddling too much. he sets things into motion with the right push, but he stays out of it, uninvolved. he keeps going on and on about how he's only doing kyudo with nothing but simple bull-headedness, like it doesn't matter all that much, like he can just shrug things off and let Kaito's impulsive comments not get to him. he plays it off, he plays everything off, leaning into that flighty, frivolous prince charming persona, but at the end of the day, he's the most mature and emotionally intelligent of the bunch. 

most of his development is built around connections. whenever Kaito reminds him that he is not taking kyudo seriously, that kyudo is not a game, that kyudo is more than just fun and looking pretty in hakama, Nanao keeps quiet. it's something he knows very well, because none of those are any of the reasons he ever picked up a bow in the first place. he has been watching over Kaito since they were children, going so far as to follow him into kyudo and into the same high-school. however, this is something that Kaito does not recognize for the longest time—not until Nanao actively blows up on him and spells it out for him. Nanao doesn't need for his efforts to be recognized, because he is only doing it to keep peace and read everyone carefully—not only Kaito—to figure out what makes who tick.

he supports his buddies from the back and intervenes only when it's necessary. he aims to please without being self-abandoning; he keeps true to his own self while being a perfect fit for everyone. despite claiming his reasons for shooting are frivolous and superficial, Nanao has an understanding of what sets the people around him off that makes keeping him around necessary, because he shoots for Kaito and now for this team, rather than the target in front of him. he knows, he's so perceptive of it all. there's a scene stuck in my head where Ryohei tries to speak up about the whole Seiya-Nikaido interaction that was bugging him, but he ended up going back on it last minute, and Nanao straight up went "bro, either you commit to it or don't talk."

idk!! call it his big brother instincts, cause that's another thing. things do kinda make a lot more sense when you consider that he is the only one out of everyone in the club (that we know of, cause there's not much about my girls) who is an older sibling. Kaito has two older sisters, Seiya has an older brother, Ryohei has an older sister, and Minato is an only child. Nanao is the only big brother. god i'm losing my fucking mind.

i called him loud and i'll keep calling him loud, but in all honesty Nanao is a lot more silent than he seems. he flirts with his fanclub and attempts it too with the girls in the club, he is quite loud with his "Merha!", he pushes and prods all around with funny comments because, at the end of the day, he is still an entertainer, a mood-maker, and most of all, he's a child. he's still a fifteen-year-old kid that's just dicking around with his friends cause it's not that deep. he's a kid. however, he is consistently reading everyone around him, keeping peace from behind them, working his way around everyone’s quirks and kinks. he's been somewhat forced into this caretaking role, taking comments like "it'd be nice if you and Kaito went to the same school so you can keep him in check" to heart. he too wishes he could be there for his cousin to reel him back in when he steps out of line. and he does, he tries, being the first one to react and try to pull Kaito back before he can bash Minato's face in.

he does things carefully in a way that won't put pressure on anyone other than himself, watching and watching and watching and being so hypersensitive to the smallest of mood changes from anyone. that one little sigh Ryohei gave, to which he immediately went, "what's wrong?" while nobody else batted an eye. when he is the one whose patience finally runs thin, he confronts Kaito about it with truths he has never needed to explain because Kaito would not have been able to digest them properly, and Nanao has always known.

he competes not to win, but to keep up, to stay with his cousin and his team; not approaching a sport with a competitive mindset would be a hindrance to the team, which does not mean he is competitive himself. and he loves kyudo, too, just as much. his expressions and mannerisms are subtle and soft in a way that anyone would miss, but he is happy to see the people that surround him stay on track, with or without his help.

i lose my train of thought every time i start a new sentence cause there's so much i have to say about Nanao. there's a crazy amount of points i go over in my head time and time again. the fact that his hit rate is so consistent, enough to keep up with Kaito and almost with Seiya. how he does not give one flying fuck about Noririn, but he indulges Daigo anyway cause it's fun and it works and he's got nothing to lose by showing a little bit of interest in some guy's idol obsession. how he was watching from the outside, because Kaito never told him what happened with Masaki or why he suddenly wanted to start kyudo, but he was so into it that he was going in all on his own. (i say "never told him" but there's that audio drama where he did, in fact, tell him and the boys.) how kyoani uses him as a sort of bridge between the girlies and the boys just cause he's that much of a social chameleon, i guess. how he's the only other character aside from Minato, the MC mind you, who has not one but TWO features in the character songs album. he's a bridge dawg he's a fit for everyone and anyone. i dunno man i have so many thoughts and zero words to articulate them, but i love this kid. shoutout to this kid, i hope he's having a great day and his lemon teas are always the right temperature. lil bro needs a pat on the back and i wanna be the one to give it to him.

#tsurune #nanao kisaragi #kaito onogi #real talk hes gotta be my favorite character ever cause what the FUCK is up with him #seriously no other character has ever incapacitated me so much as to leave me tongue tied this is ridiculous #im not even sure anything i wrote makes sense but i need to speak this into the void and hope that someone ANYONE will understand #do you get it guys do you i dont think you do you wouldnt understand #tell me why i have seen more kaito stans than nanao ones #which shoutout to kaito hes okay hes just not that interesting to me #ryohei is far more interesting maybe one day ill also talk about how lonely ryohei is and that whole thing with shu #(i dont like shuu) #okay good night

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[aftonenterprise-moved]

remember when matpat was like "BY THE AMOUNT OF MINIMUM WAGE MIKE IS MAKING WE CAN DEDUCE THIS GAME TAKES PLACE IN 1987" youre fucking INSANE dude. THE CHECK LITERALLY SAID "20XX" ON IT

#ooc #it makes me so. ggh.AAAHHHHHH #I CANT ARTICULATE WHY IT MAKES ME SO MAD #BUT IM GOING TO TRY #FNAF THEORIES ARE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON THE LOGISTICS OF THE SERIES AND WHAT 'MAKES SENSE' FOR THE TIME PERIOD AND WHAT MAKES SENSE AS PER NUMB #NUMBERS** AND I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY BECAUSE MATPAT HIMSELF DOES NOT THEORIZE IN A FICTIONAL META FANTASY WAY #MATPAT TAKES FANTASY FICTIONAL STORIES AND TRIES TO APPLY REAL LIFE LOGIC AND MATH TO IT TO MAKE SENSE OF IT #WHICH IS OKAY. GO RIGHT AHEAD. DO THAT #BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT *FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS* IS ABOUT AND I DOUBT IT WAS A COMPONENT SCOTT CAWTHON WAS FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT WHEN WRITING #THE STORY CONSIDERING 99% OF SCOTTS INTIIAL WORK WAS FANTASTICAL RIDICULOUS COMEDY FANTASY SHIT ABOUT TALKING COFFEE POTS #AND JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE. BONAFIDE JESUS!!!!!!!!! I DONT THINK THIS GUYS DOING THE FUCKING MATH FOR HIS FICTIONAL STORIES #I THINK SCOTT CAWTHON LIKE *MOST OTHER ARTISTS WHO TELL STORIES ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS* CARED MORE ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL REACTIONS THEN THE #LITERAL FUCKING MATH OF THE YEARS OR THE DATES OR THE PAYCHECKS OR THE FUCKING ANIMATRONICS PISTONS #okay yelling moment over im not actually that mad im just really impassioned #i love art. i love fictional stories. i love emotionally driven stories. i love abstraction. i love symbolism. the game is full of it! #but i feel like when you sit there and argue with the story *itself* about what its about youre missing the point of the story at all #and youre missing the forest for the trees my man

[dandyshucks]

need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl #i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads #but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice'' #practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl #it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits #and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot #but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road #i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH. #he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit #and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ???? #also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl #and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper #its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ??? #ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town #and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times #MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL #im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord #IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING #i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think #so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly #during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone #but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us #so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl #AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM #driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl #after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad #but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl #dandy.cmd #vent //

[shopcat]

people are mean asf to all might what did he ever do to you. he's just some guy ... i think he's funny ...

#🐾 #related but tbh i never got why people equated quirklessness with disability i frankly do not see it #like it just feels weird to be actually at least personally... like the whole point is their prejudice is steeped in ignorance #and prejudice against disability is due to infantilisation and dehumanisation #i mean i can see the comparison but it just makes it look like people with disabilities are you know Missing Something like quirkless #people are missing an ability. which doesn't seem fair #wlso becomes even more of a fractured sentiment when u realise how many stupid ass fucking quirks there are that aren't quote unquote hero #worthy. plus mutations. plus perceived Villainous quirks #like there's a whole range of societal prejudices here #and a whole range of perceived ''ability'' #i so do not seriously think fucking kohei horikoshi was setting out to make some sort of disability thinkpiece #😭😭 #also the entire thing becomes ridiculous and moot bc the whole point of the fucking story is deku GETS A QUIRK. and is ''fixed'' #like can we be serious. can we please be serious and just THINK #anyway. Sorry. i held that in for many years #<- all jnsopired by how people call all might ableist like okay well considering he's actually literallg chronically disabled #AND was once quirkless and is now once again essentially quirkless well i do not see it #i think he was just sort of a dick and made dumb decisions because if he made good decisions there um wouldn't be a plot #and also well yeah like i said. quirklessness is not a disability. in fact i think thinking so is the actual ableism. ironic

[knifefightandchill]

i spent an hour on this monstrosity just so i could have a cover photo for another metaltango playlist witness the power 🔪💔  

which was inspired by the amazing  quicktime event to my heart ❤️💔  it’s top tier and i totally recommend more than my own.

so here have a silly edit just in time for valentines day

#both are pop which is nice compared to my several angsty emo ones #my playlists #my edits #metaltango #i didn't find a font i literally just copy and pasted letters like a damn weirdo #but it's too ridiculous to not post okay #i hope someone gets a kick out of both of them because again quicktime event is fucking amazing #re4 #i don't get silly on here enough is2g

[zevranunderstander]

just watched Dune (1984) which is kind of like listening to someone who has seen the new Dune but clearly hasnt understood the movie summarise the whole plot to you without any tension to it in 2 hours instead of 6 hours, but it's also obviously clear that they stopped paying attention at around the time the second movie started and only remember bits of it

#myposts #dune #it was okay overall #like it wasnt very good #the fremen were soooo ridiculous i was a bit stunned #and it literally ends with paul actually being the messiah and it rains again on dune which made no fucking sense at all #the shields and the baron and sting made the movie fun though vdgsvdbdh