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acrazybayernfan · 1 year
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October 29th 2014 : DFB Pokal second round, Bayern-Hamburger SV (3-1) (part 1)
The first assist from Thomas Müller to Robert Lewandowski
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very-straight-blog · 1 year
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Unpopular opinion (spoilers)
Well, I've read The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, and I really can't understand why everyone is so pissed off about Snow. First of all, let's be clear - we're not talking about Snow from the trilogy, but about Snow from this book, from the prequel. This boy hasn't killed Finnick, tortured Peeta, etc. yet. Before reading a book, I found various reviews and was expecting something like a story of becoming a villain, but instead I got the story of a boy trying to provide security for himself and his family. Since when did that become something bad? I got from the reviews that there are actually two things imputed to him - Sejanus's death and his relationship with Lucy Gray. Let's talk about it.   So, Sejanus. I don't understand at all why he's supposed to be a positive character. He's an infantile child who craves attention. Shortsighted, ungrateful and rather stupid. His father did everything to save him from the reaping and he can't show even the slightest gratitude? He and his potential wife and children will never have to participate in the Hunger Games, and he acts like his father is the worst person on the planet? Really? Next, there's a big difference between questioning the social system you're in, pondering ways to change the situation, and protesting openly on your own, obviously having no effect on anything. The second is stupid, and on top of that, you frame people close to you, your family and friends. We saw it when Snow was sent to the arena to save Sejanus. In fact, Coriolanus made his first murder because of Sejanus's stupidity. Sejanus doesn't understand that in a totalitarian state, the best thing you can do is to nurture your plans quietly, and he doesn't know how to control his emotions. After the arena story, he was even given a second chance, which he ignored and started helping the rebels. This guy chose to die from the beginning, it was his choice to take the risk, he should have understood the potential consequences of his decisions. The good old argument - "And why was Coriolanus allowed to escape" - well I don't even know, maybe Coriolanus wasn't rescuing captured rebels along the way? And yes - I'll remind you - Coriolanus and Sejanus were not friends, it was Sejanus who saw Snow as a friend, because no one else interacted with him. Why would Snow frame himself because of a man he essentially didn't care about? And yes - Snow was right - these men had no weapons, no money, not even a proper plan. This rebellion made no sense and was doomed beforehand.   Now, Lucy Gray. I think Coriolanus really was in love with her. I don't think it was a healthy feeling, but still. He defended her in the arena while endangering himself and essentially lost everything because of it. I really don't approve of the fact that he shot her at the end of the book - but for the world he lived in, his paranoia is logical (not to be confused with approving). I've seen people talking about choosing between love and power - but what kind of love are we talking about? A teenage passion that was born in extremely unhealthy circumstances? They spent a total of three days together, no more. It is normal to prefer the well-being of yourself and your family, comfort, security, stability and prospects to such "love". Also, I've seen many people having fun because of his behavior in the wildlife - but it's perfectly normal, isn't it? It's normal to be disgusted at the sight of worms, normal to realize that the idea of looking for some imaginary people in the woods is stupid, normal to realize that they will die here from any disease/cold/attack by wild animals. And what would they do out there alone, even if they managed to survive? These are all the adequate thoughts of a normal person.
  In conclusion, I will say that I still have a lot of thoughts about this book, here I have shared only the main ones. However, for me it was a book with the most obvious message I've read lately. Even if the author tried to show us the formation of a villain, she failed. The result is a book with a wonderful character, who is finally in no hurry to give up his life for the sake of a meaningless idea, but thinks first of all about himself and his family. Coriolanus's choices in the book are not easy, but logical, and I would like to see more such realistic characters in literature.
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scratchtovoid · 5 months
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Something that people miss about Daemon’s character arc is that his main antagonist in the story is Otto.
One of the first things we learn about Daemon and Otto is that every source in F&B will agree these two men hate each other. It’s practically the only thing that every source agrees on beyond a few basic facts.
Daemon sees Otto for who he is. Daemon sees the way Otto uses Viserys for his own ambitions. And to Daemon that threat to his family is what he hates.
He wants to protect Viserys from people like Otto, but he ultimately fails.
Now in part this can be attributed to Daemon’s own actions, he put distance between himself and his brother. He put his own wants before Viserys’s own decrees.
And Daemon does not learn from those mistakes because he repeats them with Rhaenyra.
He not only puts physical distance and defiance between but he gets the ultimate narrative punishment by walking the “new Otto” right into that position.
It is Daemon who introduces Mysaria to Rhaenyra. And Mysaria becomes one of Rhaenyra’s most trusted advisors. And then Mysaria does exactly what Otto did, she starts to isolate Rhaenyra from Daemon and drive doubt there so that Rhaenyra will put more trust in Mysaria.
People often ask why did Viserys bring Otto back after the first firing, but think about it! With Rhaenyra and Daemon away, Viserys is turning to Alicent as the person he trusts most. Of course he is! So those seeds of doubt that Daemon planted seem long gone. And Alicent is there talking up her father.
And instead of learning from this Daemon does the same thing again, thinking he can rely on trust when in reality trust is being broken by his own physical distance.
And when characters like Rhaenyra and Viserys are feeling alone and isolated of course they begin to trust that person who is close to them.
And remember just like Viserys had Alicent vouching for Otto, Rhaenyra had Daemon vouching for Mysaria.
So when Daemon gets the letter from Rhaenyra not only does he have to face that her trust in him is gone but that he learned nothing. That everything he tried to make clear to Viserys in Otto he couldn’t even see for himself in Mysaria!
And I have to give appreciation to Mysaria on this one, she played her cards perfectly!
But what a lot of people don’t realize is that this character arc hinges on Daemon being trustworthy. It hinges on his loyalty to Viserys and Rhaenyra.
And to defend the show’s adaptation a little, I think they were smart to show the way Daemon’s love for Rhaenyra is also wrapped in his love for Viserys. We get these complicated Targ emotions where love for family is inherently complicated!
And what I like about the way they’ve written it so far, is that we can feel Daemon’s rage every time he is doubted by Viserys. He is even doubted from beyond the grave when Daemon learns he was never told the prophecy!
The show even set up the perfect parallel for Daemon getting Rhaenyra’s letter by giving us a nearly identical scene in 103: Viserys sends Daemon a letter that’s like hey I’m sending reinforcements because you can’t handle this. Daemon sees this as dismissal and goes on a death run to prove himself.
Wow… isn’t that exactly like getting a letter from your wife saying she no longer trusts you and going on a death run to prove yourself?
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secondsonaym · 1 year
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Azazel looked to Clauneck for a moment before turning their eyes back to the spread before them.
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"Yes?" Clauneck prodded, though their tone betrayed no emotion.
"The cards say... We will separate. But the event that will cause this separation is... A betrayal." Azazel finally managed, lowering their head.
They couldn't believe it. Why would the cards suggest that? The pair of them were siblings, twins--friends! They were family, they were all each other had! Azazel couldn't imagine either of them doing anything to harm the other.
"Hm," Clauneck sighed, looking over the cards, before taking up Soul Snatcher--the one in the 'outcome' position--and staring at it.
"It does seem as if there is little room for interpretation. Especially with such a spread and question asked." They hummed.
"But... I'd never go against Star. And she--"
"'One's loss is the gain of another.'" Clauneck interrupted, though talking to themself, almost as if they weren't listening to Azazel. "Star has always been the more independent of you two, I must say. You can never know what she is up to, the times she goes off into the Cradle on her own."
Azazel opened their mouth to protest, but... No sound came out. Why didn't anything come out? They wanted to defend Star, to insist Clauneck was just speculating, but... Clauneck had a point.
Star had been leaving to explore the Silk Cradle on her own more and more, even when Azazel warned her of the danger. So all Azazel had been able to do was do spread after spread of cards, begging them to show that she would be safe, praying that no harm would befall her.
And every time they had said so.
And every time she had come back perfectly fine.
They were already adults, after all. Was it selfish of Azazel to think they would have stayed here their whole lives?
But why did Star have to be the one to leave? Azazel didn't want that. It was too painful. They weren't brave or confident or even very sociable like Star was... It was safe near Clauneck, so there they had stayed, day in and day out.
Clauneck wasn't really great company, being noncommittal in just about everything, and Azazel didn't think they could stand being alone with them for very long.
Would they be there for the end of their days, all to stay safe? Would Star gladly turn her back and leave them behind for her own freedom?
Perhaps, instead of being betrayed, they would...
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Azazel snapped to attention, not noticing Star's arrival. They hurriedly grabbed at the cards still on the ground, shuffling them before handing them back to Clauneck, who took them without even blinking.
"Just. Doing some readings. That's all." They managed.
"Hah, see, that's why you're so much better at that kind of stuff than I am." Star laughed, moving to sit down next to her sibling. "You spend all your free time practicing--I still haven't gotten five-card spreads down very well, I always forget the order!"
Azazel managed a weak laugh, but their thoughts were still swirling, so it died rather quickly.
"So, where'd you go this time?" They asked.
"Oh, well I went to visit that cute girl I told you about a few days ago," Star began, donning a mischievous smile. "And turns out she's free tomorrow night! So one thing led to another, and I've got a date!"
"Ah, that's... That's nice." Azazel sighed. Star hooked up with people often, so they admittedly didn't actually know the specific girl she was referring to, but that wasn't really what bothered them.
"You think you'll ever find somebody to settle down with?" They asked after an awkward pause.
"Probably." Star said with a shrug. "But that'll likely be after I find some place to live."
"Oh... You're... Thinking of living somewhere else?"
"Ah, c'mon, Azazel, we gotta sometime. Clauneck's not exactly a typical parent, but I think almost 25 years of freeloading's gotta get to almost anyone."
Clauneck, smartly, made no comment. They merely let the sheep talk between themselves.
"And it'll just be you, then?"
"What, you playing the dependency card now?" She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Azazel, I love you, but... Even twins gotta split up and live their own lives, you know. I'd be lying if I said I never thought we'd always be near each other, but... It's just not realistic. Not in this world."
Ah...
Azazel stared at the ground, fists clenching. So the cards were right, then.
"But hey, that won't be for a while, so--"
"But it'll still happen." Azazel cut in.
Star turned to look at her sibling, confused.
Azazel stood up, and looked down at Star, brow furrowing.
"Then... Rather than let it happen, rather than depending on the cards for assurance, I'll... I'll forge my own path!"
Star now stood up, cautiously raising a hand to reach for her sibling, but they stepped away, eyes narrowing.
"I'll walk my own steps, I'll build my own life... And I'll do it without you!" Azazel snapped.
"What are you--Azazel!" Star cried, but their sibling was already running. Before Star could go after them, they had vanished into the shadows of the night.
Star stared in silence, unsure what to do, before slowly turning her gaze to Clauneck for some sort of answer.
"Skilled as they may be with reading the cards," Clauneck began, without looking to Star. "They fall victim to the same reliance on them many do.
"And little do they realize, by attempting to challenge them, they end up obeying them all the same. The cards only spoke of one betraying the other. It never said which one."
Clauneck was still staring at the card they had picked up initially--Soul Snatcher.
"But did they ever realize the nature of the betrayal... ?"
Star knew it was pointless to probe Clauneck for any meaning to their ramblings. They would often talk in circles, and one would only end up more confused than before.
"My, it seems I chose a rather inappropriate time to pay a visit." Came a new voice from the shadows.
Star and Clauneck lifted their heads, and from the darkness appeared a looming figure, one the pair recognized instantly.
It was Shamura.
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"There is no need for you to apologize on their behalf, lamb." Shamura said simply. "It is of no insult or concern to me, who is in the middle of a breakdown."
"Of course, thank you..." Star managed, but frowned.
"Is something the matter?" Shamura asked, tilting their head.
"It's just... I shouldn't have said anything to them about what I was planning. But now they've run off. They don't do well alone in the slightest, and it's dangerous at night, so if they get hurt, it's my fault, and--"
"Swallow that worry, lamb." Shamura interrupted, tone level, but still commanding. "You are not suited for it."
Star nodded slowly, looking to the ground with her head still bowed.
"What brings you here on this evening, bishop?" Clauneck took the opportunity to ask, despite knowing the answer already.
"A private matter." Shamura said, glancing at Star.
Star, who had glanced up, didn't need to be told twice.
"In that case, um, please excuse me Bishop Shamura. Clauneck. I think I will go look for Azazel. Perhaps I can calm them down..."
"It is dangerous, as you said." Shamura noted, raising a claw to make Star pause. "A few of my attendants wait just past the perimeter. Take one as a guide."
Star paused, staring at the bishop incredulously. Shamura was actually offering her a means of protection?
"Th-Thank you Bishop Shamura!" She then stammered, bowing once more. "Your mercy is boundless."
And with that, she left, vanishing just as quickly as her sibling had into the darkness.
Shamura stared after her for a moment, before their eyes turned back to Clauneck. For them, it was business as usual. This hadn't been the first time they had arrived while one or both of the sheep had been around, but it was easy enough to give them reasons to vacate so they could speak to Clauneck in private.
"You'll need to make your decision soon, it seems." Clauneck said with the faintest chuckle. "Lest you risk losing the benefit of choice."
"This turn of events has certainly made me take pause." Shamura murmured. "Both of them are quite dependent, thanks to your rearing. They long for safety and attention. But Azazel had the weaker will, up until now, and would have been the prime candidate."
"And now?"
"I am unsure. I was hoping that Azazel's fear would make them an easy vessel to deal with, should Narinder have no choice but to use them. But they've revealed their true colors, their true potential for initiative. Starwatcher, on the other hand..."
"What about her?" Clauneck asked idly.
"Desperate for outside approval, making her easy to string along. But it would work both ways. Narinder knows how to target desires. However, she's also more selfish, thinking of herself above all else."
"Quite the conundrum, indeed."
"Mmm. If I'm to set up the lamb of prophecy properly, I will need more time. Azazel must be found."
"You still haven't told your fellow bishops of the prophecy?" Clauneck asked, tilting their head.
"I want all the pieces in place." Shamura scoffed.
"A fitting stance for the wearer of the Purple Crown."
Shamura let out another sharp exhale, but then turned away.
"You'll receive your payment for the past year's work shortly. That was what I had originally come to report. Along with seeing how the lambs were."
"Very well. Thank you for the notice, Shamura."
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reunionatdawn · 3 months
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My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 10: Shamir/Catherine)
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Shamir: Still, you always remember your first love, right? That's enough of that. There are more relevant topics to discuss. Byleth: What will you do after the war? Shamir: Good question. The world is completely open to me. Your next move seems apparent… But…who knows where I'll end up.
After losing her first love, Shamir chose the life of a mercenary, alone and free to live wherever and however she pleased. But her dream was to find a new partner and a place where she really belonged.
Shamir: I knew it… Shouldn't have let emotion get in the way…
She was afraid of getting attached, as she laments in CF if she's unrecruited and dies defending the monastery.
Shamir: Finally found so many reasons to live…
Her death quote says a lot about her. Shamir's reason to live was those she cared about at the monastery.
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Catherine: Making decisions in the spur of the moment, you can't hope to be perfectly fair and just. That's why I choose to fight for Lady Rhea's justice. The justice of the Church of Seiros. Caspar: But what about when Lady Rhea's ideals don't really line up with yours? Then what? Catherine: Not possible. Lady Rhea's ideals are my ideals. There's no conflict between them, because that's what I've decided. Do you see?
As a Knight of Seiros, Catherine had vowed to do anything for Rhea, with the sole exception of dying for her. She devoted her life to the archbishop as a stand-in for the goddess. She couldn't cope with her inner conflict when she had to make the decision about her previous partner, so she decided to hand over her morality to a higher authority.
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Shamir: It's not easy to put your life in the hands of someone who doesn't share your beliefs. Catherine: I understand. I think we can both agree on that.
Shamir and Catherine came into conflict over the latter's way of life.
Shamir: Hello, Catherine. I always knew this day would come. Catherine: What a coincidence, so did I. It seems that now we have no choice. We have nothing in common. Not our backgrounds, not our beliefs. Shamir: Not the way we lived…or the way we'll die.
If you recruit Shamir in CF, you can tell that Catherine was the reason she quit the knights. Without her partner, Shamir goes back to being an unfeeling mercenary who will simply go with whatever side pays more, even if she has to execute her old comrades. And without her partner, Catherine goes back to being an unthinking zealot who will follow any order Rhea gives her, even if she has to burn down a city.
Catherine: The last time I saw you, you saved my life—but I never thought you'd force me to repay the debt quite like this. Shamir: You don't owe me anything, Catherine. If you need to hate me, then hate me.
Their relationship is much the same in Hopes. Shamir didn't agree with people from Fódlan and their values. In SB, she only became a mercenary for the Empire because Hubert said he'd spare Catherine's life if she did. After you recruit her, she is hurt because she put her life on the line for Catherine. But she knew Catherine would cut her down in the name of following orders.
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Catherine (Solo) When Rhea resigned her position of archbishop and left the Church of Seiros, Catherine followed. She devoted herself wholly to Rhea's protection, and the two lived a life of quiet seclusion. Though Thunderbrand remained always by her side, she came to be known by a different name: the Guardian of Zanado.
If Rhea survives, Catherine's solo ending states that she accompanies her to live a life of quiet seclusion in the Red Canyon. For most of her other partners, she'll actually have two versions of their paired ending, depending on whether Rhea is alive. If she is alive, Catherine seems more devoted to Rhea than her partner. She has to ask permission or be persuaded to wed (Ashe, Lorenz) or she will bring her partner along to live as a hermit in Zanado (Linhardt, Caspar) or both (Seteth).
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Catherine: I will be faithful to Lady Rhea until I die. If I had to choose between you and her, I would choose her every time. I assume that disqualifies me from being your partner. Shamir: Between you and Rhea, I'd choose you. But between you and me, I'd choose me. That probably disqualifies me from being your partner too. Catherine: Well, no. I'm quite fond of being alive. I don't intend to sacrifice my life, either. If it came down to you or me, I'd choose… Huh.
Like so many other characters, the ideological difference between Catherine and Shamir can be worked out if they just stick around on the same side long enough. Catherine said she'd always choose Rhea over anyone, but Shamir was the only person she'd actually die for. Catherine wouldn't even die for Rhea. So, she realized that Shamir is the only one she would actually choose over Rhea. Catherine didn't love Rhea, but she did love Shamir.
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Shamir: Aren't you forgetting something? After gambling and booze, you're supposed to ask me about women. Though I doubt our tastes are similar. Balthus: Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
Hopes confirmed that Shamir is no stranger to lesbian relationships, she just has different taste than Balthus. Just because not every character can romance same-sex Byleth, doesn't mean that there aren't other same-sex characters they would be into. The writers obviously wanted to plant the seeds of same-sex attraction which would, of course, reflect on how players viewed her relationship with Catherine. So, there was no doubt that this pairing was intended to be taken as romantic.
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Shamir: And Catherine… if you really insist, I'll consider a partner's future. Catherine: Partner's future? What do you mean? Shamir: In Dagda, it's more common for people of the same sex to form partnerships. …What's wrong? Your face is all red, partner. Catherine: Well, you come out with something completely unexpected, so… That's enough of that discussion!
In her dining hall dialogue, Shamir says that eating with Catherine makes her feel like she's "home". In most of her other paired endings, she goes back to being a wanderer. Catherine is the only partner she takes back to her homeland of Dagda.
Catherine & Shamir Catherine and Shamir, who left the Seiros Knights, reaffirmed each other as lifelong companions. Embarking on a carefree journey together, they remained inseparable, never straying from their shared path. They traveled across various regions of Fódlan, eventually reaching Shamir's hometown of Dagda across the sea. Along the way, they encountered numerous challenges and sometimes found themselves involved in incidents where they lent a helping hand. However, with Catherine's "Thunderbrand" and Shamir's arrows unleashed, there were no enemies left standing, so the story goes.
Other than Catherine's ending with Alois (where she remains a knight), her ending with Shamir is the only one that is the exact same whether Rhea is alive or not. When paired with Shamir, Catherine will leave the Knights of Seiros to be a "Free Knight" and live according to her own sense of justice. The writers obviously favored this pairing, as it gives them both the most satisfying conclusion to their arcs.
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frostcorpsclub · 7 months
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What are some more obscure Frost kid dynamics between em you'd want to discuss but haven't? Ik you have/had a series about that very idea (which I love btw), but maybe there's some more negative ones you haven't touched!
Hehe, I shall pull from this chart! I'm going to go over the kids that dislike eachother and the mortal enemies first but if you'd like I'll make a "it's complicated" addition, I won't be going over ones that are well known like James and January's beef
Truly, they all LOVE each other but those of you who have siblings know how it can be sometimes, you may love your siblings a whole lot but really really dislike the way they choose to act.
Dislikes
Jolyene and Janet and Judah (combining them because it's mostly for the same reason)
This moreso has to do with the way Janet and Judah interact with JEAN, while usually someone like Jean would annoy her the two have a very close bond and she trusts Jean more than anything. This often involves giving her responsibilities and errands to do that are incredibly helpful for the things Jolyne gets up to. The problem comes in with the way Janet and Judah distract her. Janet loves playing devils advocate almost as much as she genuinely is interested in the conspiracy theories that Jean comes up with. There have been many times Jean has completely forgotten about something she was going to do for her sister because she got caught up in defending a theory that makes less and less sense the deeper you go. With Judah its the exact opposite and Jean will take up all of his and Jolynes time rambling since he's perfectly willing to let him go on and on and on.
January and Julian
Julian really strives like to be his father and brothers, so he often emulates their behavior. He's a misogynist, an asshole, and puts his sense of humor above all else. He TRIES to be manipulative. Except he fails at these things horribly because...of some personal things that would be spoilers to reveal as of now. You know how sometimes you guys make jokes about Suzy and Andrew Tate? 😂 Yeah, Julian actually would watch him and his gaggle of goons. (This is why he's the least favorite kid, lol) Unlike his father and brothers who do have SOME respect for the women in their lives, or at least love, even if it manifests horribly; Julian hasn't seem to have gotten the memo and thinks he's better at everything just because he has a dick. While her sisters and mother mostly just make their view of him as pathetic clear, January seems to think she can argue him out of his position. Julian feels a sense of fulfillment and dominance from these interactions, proving that women ARE just more emotional, despite the fact January frequently terrifies him and could beat him to a pulp. These two can't be left alone with each other, but this is under dislikes because he copes and seethes a lot more about it than she does.
Joy and Jean and Judah (ditto)
Its simple really, both Jean and Judah have destructive special abilities and they are both very impulsive. Even though Jean is a bit more aware of her surroundings Joy still fears that they might cause damage to the nature they live around.
Jasper and Jill
Jill loves cooking so who better to learn from than the woman who cooks all their meals! Jasper is deeply protective over his mother almost moreso than say James for example, being a snowball he has a stronger chemical connection to her as the person who esentially saved his life and part of how he sees his family members comes from being a clone of his father. That's a lot of words for: He's an uber mommy's boy and Jill takes her attention but he knows he has no justifiable reason to be mad.
Mortal Enemies
James and Janet
Janet is quite possibly the only person in the entire family who isn't at least a little afraid of James in some capacity. She likes bothering people in general, but with James, it's actively malicious since...well, he deserves it. Sometimes, when James is tormenting one of their other siblings, she'll purposefully pick a fight with him to give them a chance to flee. Even if she knows she's wrong, she likes to pick at the things he says and pretend he's secretly insecure, true or not it manages to get under his skin, which isn't easy to do. A stranger is a stranger, but she's family. Unfortunately, sooner or later, almost all the Frosts fall in line, and because of her own vices, she is no different.
Jane and Journey
This is another completely one sided thing lmao
It started out as a very selfish and insecure thought process on the part of Jane. She thoroughly believed that having somebody around who could remember practically anything they were told was going to be a severe threat to her place in the family thus she treats Journey as a rival. Of course, she was ignoring that the people who saw value in her couldn't care less how much Shakespeare she had memorized. Still, most of the time she interacts with Journey its through sarcasm and mean snippy responses. Weirder still, her actions don't usually match her words. She says it's for the good of snowcietys "mental and intellectual health," that Jane helps Journey but something tells me that Jane just can't bring herself to genuinely leave a fellow academic hanging. It's a very """begrudging""" relationship.
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laneybug003 · 9 months
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I want to dismantle the blocky and claustrophobic infrastructure construct that America has adopted. In reality I’d like to run away from it all and go elsewhere where the preservation of nature is still a prevalent subject at the forefront of leaders’ minds. But I believe that is hard in any developed country. I want to destroy the problem at the root. I want to take my fists and crush all of these buildings and skyscrapers and reduce everything to rubble and force humans to face adversity, and help everyone rebuild our structures with more space and land for everyone to enjoy. I can’t even find a peaceful area with enough area to scream my lungs out without another person being inconvenienced by my expression and feeling the need to call the authorities. I live in an apartment where I share walls with 4 different families. I need land of my own to frolic in and plant a garden in. But I shouldn’t need to feel stuck in a certain profession to be able to obtain that kind of necessary space. I want to create spaces where community is important, recreational 24 hour spaces that are actually well-funded and well-kept. Similar to a group home but for everyone to enjoy. I can remember countless nights, and days, as a child, where I was yearning to be everywhere but the home I was supposed to be at. I would spend time with people who would spend their days smoking it away in their cars and in the streets. But I wasn’t old enough to, nor did I want to go to a nightclub to spend my time at. I wished there was a place where I could learn trades and crafts as a young teenager and adult. I felt so lost, and alone, and the connections between parents and children are only going to continue polarizing in two extremes- positive and the negative. The parents who stop negative cycles and the ones who repeat them. And everything in-between those two. Humans need to grow up with a sense of connection to this earth and the people in their community. Nature needs to be more available to access. Humans shouldn’t need cars to be able to go somewhere. This land is everyones land and we must be taught respect. Children need to grow up in nature, outside. With animals. Love needs to be taught and shown in school. Women and men shouldn’t have to hide and cover our bodies for modesty/Christian reasons. God made us perfectly. But there are a lot of people who use God to defend their evil. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. But actions speak louder than words. A lot of people can point out issues in this country, but there are few if any that are willing to create radical change in this country. Young and old people balance each other . Female and male balance each other. We should be learning and taking ideas from both to establish change. Older people may think they are infinitely smarter than the young because of their longer life experience, but I find that with age comes more complacency. Youth are full of fire and have nowhere to go. Their ideas of change and opportunity are constantly shot down instead of being taken seriously. Opposite sexes constantly feel separated and so different from one another. Our roles are being shifted every single day. We could find a better equilibrium if we were exposed to a more naturalistic society. But males can learn strategies for inner passive strength from women. And women can learn strategies for outer action strength from men. The feminine and masculine is within us all. It is imperative we learn the importance and beauty of both within us. Oh how I long to live in a world where I can travel and live wherever I please, and not have to obtain a visa to be able to live on another part of the land where all of our ancestors have been. I am so tired. We should not have to work like slaves for the majority of our lives to barely survive and eat every day. Our happiness and wellness is not prioritized. The system feeds off of our exhaustion. Work us til we die. And we will try our best to have meaningful connections with others who are systematically separated from us in the meantime.
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mackenzielovee · 3 years
Note
Hi, I loved crazy love. Literally I become obsessed, so I was wondering if you could write something about them when they are moving to their new apartment near to college and both of their families are helping them to have everything in order, but Rafe only want them to leave to be all alone with you in their new home. Maybe a little bit of smut?
a/n: this idea had my heart bc i'd really been wanting to write something like this ;) i hope you enjoy! thanks so much for the request!
Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of planned pregnancy, discussion of sex
crazy love masterlist
my writing
our home: crazy love blurb - rafe cameron
"No, no a little to the left. Ward, are you listening to me?"
You sigh as you set the very last box down on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Rafe, who is sitting on your new couch. His head is in his hands as he listens to his parents bicker back and forth, trying to hang up the painting they had bought the two of you. Rose had gushed over it when she bought it, telling you it would match the rest of your decor perfectly.
"Of course, darling. You're talking loud enough," Ward gripes, shifting the painting to the left as Rose demands.
"Oh, come on, now. Back over to the right-"
"It's straight!" Rafe raises his voice, standing up from the couch.
You inhale sharply and step into the living room of your new apartment, wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down. Ever since his parents and Wheezie arrived with the moving truck to help you both, he's been on edge. When your parents showed up with Macy, you thought he was about to go into cardiac arrest.
"Actually, I think it might just be straight," Rose nods, "Good eye, Rafe."
"Thanks so much," he remarks sarcastically.
"Hey," you whisper to him, trying to tell him to quit being mean to his step-mom, "They're here to help, remember?"
Rafe rolls his eyes, "I could do this shit myself."
"Because you're such a handy man?" you snort.
Rafe clenches his jaw as he looks down at you, but can't help the smirk on his face. He pulls you closer to him, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"Where did Macy and Wheezie go? They should start on those kitchen boxes," Rose tells Ward, stepping away from her husband to look for them.
"We can handle the kitchen boxes," Rafe tells her.
"Y/N?" Rose looks to you for a final answer.
You glance up at Rafe only for a second, noting the look on his face, then nod your head in agreement.
"I like the kitchen organized a certain way, anyway," you tell her with a smile.
She nods her head, "All right. Ward and I can start on your sheets-"
"Y/N's parents are taking care of that," Rafe informs her.
Wheezie and Macy come tumbling into the front door, running past all of you and into your bedroom with your parents.
"What the hell are those two up to?" Ward questions.
Wheezie and Macy have become as thick as thieves, the best of friends, over the summer. One day, you'd shown up at Rafe's only to find your sister in her kitchen with Wheezie, baking away. Ever since then, you and Rafe have had to be extra quiet upstairs.
Rose and Ward step toward your bedroom as well, which is down a small hallway just off the kitchen. Rafe grabs your hand and yanks you with him, following the crowd of people.
"Can everyone get out of our bedroom, please?" Rafe grumbles, standing behind his father and watching your parents finish up making your bed.
Your parents had not been crazy about you and Rafe living together right as you both make the transition to college. You had cried, begged, threatened to not go to school, and even dragged Rafe over for a family dinner so all of you could talk the situation out. You'd never seen Rafe's face so red as the night he had to sit at a dinner table and discuss with your father how the two of you would be sleeping in the same bed.
When your parents found out that the Camerons would be financing your rent bill, however, the living situation had changed. Your parents hadn't realized how expensive dorm living is, and the thought of not having to pay for housing on top of tuition sounded like a dream come true.
Which is how you land in your new, empty kitchen, trying to hold Rafe back from killing every family member the two of you currently have within arms reach.
"It's quarter to three," your dad tells your mother over your bed.
"Macy," your mom speaks, "Get your stuff, honey. We have to get going."
"Yeah," Rafe perks up, earning the attention of his parents, "You guys should get moving, too. Y'know, lots of traffic, and Wheezie's got that thing early in the morning."
Wheezie opens her mouth to speak, but stops suddenly when Rafe gives her the death stare. She looks to you, to which you just shrug, and then turns back to her parents.
"What thing?" Rose asks her. Ward's phone buzzes in his pocket, earning his attention.
"Uh," Wheezie hesitates, looking to Rafe once more.
"Girl scout meeting," Rafe blurts.
You cover your face with your free hand to try and prevent Rose from seeing your laughter. You truly have no idea where Rafe gets this idea that Wheezie is old enough to be in girl scouts. Wheezie narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head slightly.
"Girl scout?" Rose questions to herself, still trying to figure it out when Ward speaks up, eyes still glued to his phone.
"Wheezie, get your stuff. You won't want to be tired in the morning at your meeting."
Wheezie rolls her eyes but does as she's told, making her way out of your bedroom and down the hall to collect her things in the living room.
"Seriously, Rafe?" she hisses, "Girl scouts? I'm fourteen-"
"Shut up, Wheeze," Rafe says back to her through gritted teeth.
Wheezie turns to you, "He's your problem, now."
"Oh, boy, do I know it," you tease Rafe, smiling with Wheezie. She laughs, but it's short lived when Rafe shoves her away.
"Get your shit," he mutters.
"Stop it," you demand, stepping in front of him and holding onto his forearms as they are wrapped around your waist.
The one thing you love about Rafe more than anything is how he always shows affection to you, even if your parents or his parents are around. He just doesn't seem to care about anyone except you.
"I want them to go," he defends himself, keeping his voice quiet, "I just want to be alone with you. In our home. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."
You smile up at your fussy boy, dragging one hand up to his face to stroke his cheek. You can faintly hear your families moving around the two of you, but you're too lost in your own little world to think too much about it.
"Be patient," you whisper to him.
He smirks, "Will you make it worth my while?"
You give him back the same look, loving the way he smirks at you and allows his eyes to rake over every inch of your face and torso. It takes everything in him not to just grab you by the throat and kiss the hell out of you, only controlling himself because your dad is ten feet away.
"Don't I always?"
Rafe groans, trying his best to keep his composure. He has to close his eyes as he continues to whine, knowing that if he keeps looking at you, he'll be hard in no time.
"All right," Rafe says loudly, tugging himself away from you, "Thanks for coming, everyone, but we have a lot to unpack here. Dad, Rose, Wheezie, I'll show you to the door."
You snicker as you watch him attempt to lead his confused family out the door. You turn to your own family, giving hugs and promising to call whenever you can. Rose refuses to leave without giving you a hug, which pisses Rafe off, as he's gotten Ward and Wheezie out successfully and only needs one more.
Rose promises to send flowers, one that match the color scheme of course, and tells you she'll call you to check on Rafe, since he doesn't bother to return her calls. You give Wheezie a hug and give Ward a polite smile and wave from the doorway.
The second they're all out the door, Rafe slams the door shut and locks it before any of them can decide they forgot something.
"Ah, free at last," you joke.
Rafe turns around, licking his lips as he thinks about how you two finally have an empty house and he has you all to himself. No distractions, no parents, no little sisters listening intently at the door for secrets and drama. He eyes you up and down once, and when he brings his blue orbs to meet yours again, you know what he's thinking.
"Come here," he demands, but he can't help himself.
That boy rushes over to you, pushing you up against the wall in the entryway of your new apartment, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You accept his kiss without a second thought, allowing your hands to wrap themselves around his neck.
"Up," he mutters against your lips, hands guiding themselves to your waist as you jump up and let him position himself in between your legs, wrapping them around his torso.
He moves his kisses to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck, while his hands relentlessly roam your ass.
"Rafe," you say, tilting your neck to give him more space.
"Hmm," he hums against your skin, not stopping or slowing down for anything.
"I really do have to unpack the kitchen if you want to eat dinner tonight," you tell him, although you're fully aware he would never set you down for anything right now.
"Not hungry."
"Rafe-"
"I think," he stops you, wet kisses trailing your collarbone, "We should fuck everywhere. Y'know, break the place in."
Even though you two have been together for a while, him saying things like that to you always seems to send tingles through your whole body. He always knew what to say, what to do, to get you riled up in all the right ways.
"That would take us all night," you whisper, smirking because you already know what he's going to say.
"Fine with me, baby."
You smile, then reach down and grab ahold of his cheek with your hand. You lead his lips back to yours, kissing him harder than you had been before. He moans into your mouth and you know you have him right where you want him now.
"Kitchen first?" he questions, breathless, "Or should we mess up that pretty little bed your parents just made up?"
The raspiness in his voice gets you going, enough for him to notice you squirming in his grip. He grins, knowing exactly what it is you need.
"Kitchen," you tell him, watching as he barely nods before he kisses you again, carrying you over and setting you on the counter.
With ease, he removes your shorts and underwear, dropping his own shorts to the floor beneath him. He kicks all of the clothes away, knowing the two of you won't be needing them for a very long time.
"I can't wait, baby," he mumbles, excusing his lack of foreplay.
You shake your head, and he already knows you don't mind based on the way you're dripping onto the granite, "Please, Rafe."
He smirks and then grunts as he enters you, breathing out a sigh of relief that you two are finally home.
By the time you and Rafe even make it to your bedroom, he has to carry you because your legs can't physically function anymore. Rafe's proud of his work, but pretended to pout when he finished you off on the couch and you told him you needed a break.
He lays you down on your new, freshly made bed, moving the pillows out of your way and tucking you underneath the duvet. He climbs in beside you and molds you into his body almost instantly, inhaling your shampoo scent and perfume, thinking about how perfect this moment truly is.
"I can't believe it," he whispers.
"I know."
"Our home."
"Yes, it is."
You two lay there for a while, staring out at the tens of boxes that have each of your names written on them, just begging to be unpacked. You're sure Rafe's boxes will still be sitting there in two weeks, as he had packed a separate duffle bag of his 'essential' belongings.
"You know," he starts after a while, a devious smirk finding it's way to his cheeks, "The next big step is having a mini you. Or a mini me. But, I'd rather have a mini you."
"We just moved into our college apartment and you're talking about impregnating me," you laugh, as if to ask him if he's serious.
"She'll be so cute," he goes on, "A little girl that looks just like you. And she'd have your smarts, thank God, because she'd be screwed with mine. But she'd have my humor, of course."
"Of course?" you tease him.
"And then we'll have a boy."
"Wow, Rafe Cameron, you really just have this all figured out," you move your head up to look at him, noting the small, cheesy smile plastered across his face.
"I do, baby. He'll be a hellion, though. Never listening, always running away, but a total momma's boy. Never wants you to leave his side-"
"So, just like his dad, then?" you grin, watching Rafe clench his jaw and shake his head.
"Break's over," he grunts, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you, "We're trying, now."
"No, we're not," you say forcefully.
Rafe rolls his eyes, "I'm joking. We'll wait until, like, junior year or something."
"Rafe."
"Fine. But the second you walk across that stage with your diploma, I'm putting a baby in you."
"Deal."
Tags:
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*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!
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red-letter-imagines · 3 years
Note
heyy there!! can you do another part of the “reaction when you suck on their tongue but with Mikey, Rindou and mitsuya?
You have no idea how happy I am that my work's so well-received! So there's been more than one request for a part 2, but for different characters. This little dove, however, is the first one so I'll be doing this, then the other characters in later parts, alright? Alright.
Now *cracks knuckles* let's begin!
Reaction When You Suck on Their Tongue Part 2 (Sano Manjiro, Haitani Rindou & Mitsuya Takashi)
Sano "Mikey" Manjiro: (Bonten! Mikey)
You sure you don't need a chaser with that? Sanzu snickers from across you, pupils already blown wide from the pills he'd taken half an hour ago. The pure vodka sears your esophagus, a pool of liquid fire in your abdomen. Tears are springing up your eyes and you wince. Truly, it had been a horrible idea on your side to make bets with Sanzu, of all people. That man has had every drug imaginable enter his system and three overdoses later, is still standing. You should've known better than to order Spirytus, but Sanzu has a way of getting under anyone's skin, especially yours.
He knew you had more than several bones to pick with him after he coaxed Mikey into accepting a million-dollar drug deal with some shady Western cartel. Throughout Bonten's history, it was one of the more careless business trades you'd ever gone through, one that put Mikey in a precarious position. The cartel demanded Mikey's audience for the deal to be done, and while Sanzu reassured you that nothing would happen to their "King", that never stopped you from worrying your head off.
A part of you wanted the drugs and alcohol put him into a coma; you just had to hold your liquor until then. Yet this poisonous bastard is still standing, while you barely have the confidence to stand up straight. He's fucking crazy.
You eye the remaining shot glass. It's rim and ridges bounce the bright glow of the chandeliers above you, its crystal clear contents an elegant deception to those unaware. You suck air through your nose and grab it. Before you could down the last drink of your life, a slender hand slides to your shoulder.
You turn to face Mikey's lilac-rimmed gaze, the darkness swimming within sucking you in like a vacuum. Once he sees the flares of red across your cheeks and down your neck, his lips curl a little. Mikey hates alcohol with a passion; he told you early on that he abhorred its bitterness and how it hazed your mind.
Instantly, you cave under his disappointment, and none-too-gracefully drop your shot glass back on the counter. You barely had time to utter his name before he cups your cheek and kisses you. It's gentle, caring yet the pressure of his pecks stamp his dominance into your very soul.
He plunges his tongue into your booze-laced cavern, and you eagerly latch onto it like a hungry pup. He tasted of red bean paste, its sweetness a balm to your burning senses. He keeps a hand on your neck while you have your fill, biting your lower lip when you part.
You're panting, eyes glazed with wanton need. He strokes a thumb under your ear, and you smile.
You could drink all the alcohol you wanted, but nothing could make you drunker than Sano Manjiro's affection.
Haitani Rindou:
You frown to yourself as you waited outside the heavy steel gates of Roppongi's juvenile detention center. It's been six months since the Haitani brothers had been arrested because of Tenjiku. Along with the other Heavenly King named Mucho, they also scored a reduced sentence, and today will be their first taste of freedom in half a year.
You'd been forced to stay behind when the battle happened; Rindou told you that he didn't want to have to look after you while fighting. A cover-up for his worry, of course. The younger Haitani isn't known for being as emotionally apt as his older brother, yet somehow that rigidness of his is one of the things you love most about him. To this day, Ran still loves to give you both shit for it.
Rindou knew that you'd be pissed beyond belief once you got the news; he promised not to leave you alone again like last time. You didn't come to his trial nor see him when he got permitted for visitations. Ran is in a different cell, and he had nothing but time.
Of course, other than being absolutely furious with him, there were other reasons you couldn't come see your bone breaker of a boyfriend. With them detained, no one is left to defend their title as the Kings of Roppongi. No one except you, that is.
You're quite the force of nature yourself, even before meeting Ran and Rindou. Roppongi had been your stomping grounds since you were ten, and when they started making a name for themselves you refused to submit. Thinking back, it was quite a comical scene: a scruffy-looking little girl baring her teeth at two brothers who'd basically killed a man not too long ago. Despite how ruthless they truly are, they never stooped so low as to hit a girl, much less gang up on one to prove a point. Instead you became friends, and later on fell in love with the younger Haitani, and he with you. Together you ruled over Roppongi, and the rest is history.
So while your man stared at white walls in the slammer, you splattered blood across brick walls as warnings to those who thought they could conquer the city. All on your own, you reigned over Roppongi the entirety of their sentence, and now it's time for the kings to reclaim their throne.
You hear them before you see them; Ran's whimsical tones against Rindou's monotone rebuttals. They're wearing casual clothes instead of the jumpsuits, Ran's hair is in braids as always, but Rindou...
The extra inches of hair does something to you. It flowed around his face like a lion's mane, faded blue streaks shining in the noon sun. He's wearing contacts instead of his frames, and his jaw is sharper than you ever remembered it. Fresh out of prison, and he looks every bit the king of carnage you adore.
Licking your lips, you saunter over to them. The clacking of your heels turn their heads, and they smirk at you. You could see Rindou tense for a split second before reigning himself back in. Once you get close enough, you rear a hand back and slam it against his cheek hard.
Then you grab him by the collar and smooch him right in front of the jail gates. His recovery is quick, and he pulls you close in a vice-grip. You press a thumb down his chin and take his tongue right from his mouth. The light graze of your teeth against the flat of it earns a growl from Rindou. You left me again, you fucking asshole you hiss as you pull away. You doubted he really heard you though, because he dived right to your neck after your liplock. You sigh, meeting eyes with a disgusted Ran.
This man is going to be the death of you one day.
Mitsuya Takashi:
Throughout your relationship, Mitsuya is nothing but gentle. It almost gave you whiplash how different he is when he's with you and when he's with Toman. He's more than happy to bash some scumbag's face in, yet he couldn't look you in the eye if he shows up to school bruised the next day. You're one of the reasons he got so good at dodging blows in the first place-all of this just to keep you from remembering just how dangerously he lives.
His carefulness translated through his affections, most of all. He didn't hold you, he cradled you. When he kissed you, you could practically feel the repressed passion just burning beneath the surface. He treats you as if you were a dandelion on a windy day.
And while you thought his unspoken sentiments are nothing short of chivalrous and sweet, you also found it quite stupid. You knew what you were getting into when he sheepishly confessed, knew about him being a captain of Toman's second division. So naturally, you'd braced yourself for all sorts of chaos. Plus, only having to witness one side of him irked something inside of you that you couldn't quite explain. You'd made it perfectly clear that you loved him, bruises and all. Yet when he looked at you with such adoring lavender eyes, you couldn't bear to chide him for wanting to treasure you.
So, you decided to show him through other means.
You're waiting for him to finish inside the sewing club room. He's finishing the hemline of a kimono-a birthday present he's preparing for Draken early on. His eyelids hang low, but his gaze is as intense as ever. Nothing is said between the two of you, but you can't help staring at his pursed lips, now bitten red from his habit when focusing. You internally proclaimed your love for him yet again, unable to stop yourself from wandering over to his hunched form.
Just as he looks up from the sewing machine, you dive in with a kiss that, even you had to admit, is a little too intense to be this sudden. Yet you couldn't help it; even the simplest things he did could turn you into quite the sap.
He doesn't fail to reciprocate it, though. His lips, a little rough and a bit wet, switch from caressing your top and bottom lip each time you return to each other. Somehow, it ended up with you sandwiched between him and his desk, thighs on either side of his hips. His hands never stay in one place, smoothing down your uniform and rubbing your back. He never strays too far down your waist, and that tang of frustration sours your sweet little moment yet again.
Bracing one hand on his shoulder and the other on his jaw, you grind down hard against him. His mouth drops open in a barely contained moan, and you close your lips around his tongue. The noise he made when you licked at it could've put BL voice actors to shame. His fingers rake against the sides of your hips, jolting you out of your sultry scenario and into a bout of giggles. And while you sit there steaming in your embarrassment at ruining such a delicious moment, he simply gapes at what just happened, his face stained a pretty crimson.
Well, that was awkward...but you wouldn't have had it any other way.
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wonderful-writes · 3 years
Text
Presume
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Fem!Reader
Summary: Tom thinks you’re too pretty to be any good at academics. You can imagine his shock when he’s proven wrong.
Word Count: 2k (2,097)
Author’s Note: The idea for this fic was given to me by @bellaswansrealgf. It was such a fun topic to write, so thank you so much bae for coming up with the idea! I’ll definitely be using more of your suggestions in the future.
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Tom Riddle found himself becoming increasingly irritated. How could Professor Slughorn possibly expect him to work with a partner? What kind of fool did Slughorn think he was? Tom was perfectly capable of completing his project himself, and it was rather insulting for his professor to assign someone to help him. And not just anyone. Slughorn had assigned you.
You, the pretty girl, were in no capacity an ideal partner. You were friendly and charming and surely too bubble-headed to know a thing about potions. You were probably irritating and selfish and vain, too. Tom would have rather been partnered up with the clown from Gryffindor than with you.
“Tom, right?” you asked as you took a seat next to him. You were dressed in neat robes and had nicely styled hair. You probably spent all morning on it.
“Yes,” he replied curtly without so much as a glance your way. He began flipping his textbook to the desired page and scanning it with his eyes.
“I’m Y/N,” you introduced.
Tom ignored you as he continued to read the page.
“So, what kind of potion do you think we should make?” you asked him, opening your own book.
Once again, Tom didn’t bother to look up or respond.
“Hello?” you tried again.
He let out an exasperated sigh. “Listen, I know potions is probably not your area of expertise, so it’s best if you just sit there and let me work.”
“Excuse me?” you asked, surprised at how this stranger could claim to already know you without having ever spoken to you. “How would you know if I’m not good at potions?”
Tom scoffed. “If you haven’t noticed, you don’t exactly look like you’d be much of an academic.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned, starting to get offended.
“Well, I’m the best in the class,” Tom said like it was the most natural thing to come out of his mouth. “Professor Slughorn probably sent you here so that I could babysit you. You can’t be any good if you need me as a mentor.”
“I don’t need you as a mentor,” you told him. “Professor Slughorn wanted us to work together for this assignment.”
“Like I said,” he replied, turning back to his book, “maybe you should let me handle the assignment.”
You were beyond aggravated. How could someone who barely knows you make such assumptions about you? You were more than adept in potions, and it was unfair of him to shut you down without letting you prove your skills.
“You realize this assignment is worth 25% of our grade, don’t you?” you asked him as you crossed your arms.
 “Precisely,” he answered. “Which is why I won’t let you mess it up.”
You had never met a more arrogant person.
“If you’re going to be this way,” you declared, “I’ll just ask Slughorn if I can work alone. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience the great Tom Riddle.”
Tom breathed a sigh of relief as you packed your belongings and walked away. You were attractive, sure, but you were also annoying. He was glad to be rid of anyone who didn’t let him take charge.
Slughorn allowed the two of you to work separately. To Tom’s approval, you set up your station far away from his. He almost pitied you. It couldn’t be easy for someone like you to complete an entire project by yourself. People like you only cared about their appearances or what the latest gossip was. There was no way you could make any of the complicated potions on the list of options for the assignment without help.
~
By the end of the week, Slughorn had finished grading the students’ potions and their accompanying essays. Tom, ever so confident in his abilities, was shocked when he didn’t receive a perfect score.
“What did I do wrong, Professor?” he asked after class had been dismissed. “I could have sworn I didn’t miss anything.”
“You forgot to crush the bay leaves before you put them in,” Slughorn explained. “But not to worry, my boy. You chose a highly complex concoction. It is almost guaranteed that any student who attempts to recreate it will forget at the very least one step.”
“Did anyone else choose that potion?” Tom wondered.
Slughorn nodded with a twinkle in his eye.
“And did anyone get it right?” Tom asked. He was doubtful that anyone in the class could have succeeded at something he failed to perfect, but it didn’t hurt to ask.
“That’s for me to know, my boy,” the teacher answered. Seeing the frustrated look on Tom’s face, he chuckled and added, “Just know that you shouldn’t judge your partners so prematurely.”
Tom spent the majority of the night ruminating on Slughorn’s words. Could it be that you were the student who had gotten the perfect score on the potion he had attempted? He refused to believe it. Slughorn must have been referring to another student, one that Tom was paired with in the past. You couldn’t possibly be the partner in question.
~
It had been weeks since Tom came in second for the first time in his life. He convinced himself that it couldn’t have been you who bested him. Of course, he speculated who the true victor could be, but he couldn’t put his finger on who in the class could be worthy of such high marks.
Eventually, the time came for the annual examination preparation. Professor Slughorn’s students were assigned a series of practice exams to help them prepare for the actual ones. Each practice test focused on a different area within potions, and it was the students’ job to be well-versed in all of them.
At the beginning of every week, a new practice exam was passed out, and the grades for the previous week’s exam was posted on a roster at the front of the class.
Tom never bothered with making a show of checking his grades, knowing fully well that he would always be at the head of the class. But with the newfound knowledge of a possible competitor, he couldn’t quell his curiosity.
Making his way to the front of the room with the usual throng of Slytherin boys, he displayed no sign of concern. Why should the best in the year have to worry about some halfwit who ran into a bit of luck one time?
His air of indifference was quickly squashed, however, when he approached the posted practice exam scores and saw that his was the second highest. Second? That couldn’t be right. Tom Riddle never came in second. Who was first? Who could feasibly best Tom Riddle at a potions examination? The most brilliant student in all of Hogwarts, and in his best subject too?
He was horrified beyond comparison when he saw none other than your name at the pinnacle of the score sheet.
You.
Impossible. There was no chance that the bubbly girl with the face of an angel, er, a moron, could ever have received such excellent marks.
He’d seen you around, and you were most definitely not the kind of girl who cared about your performance in school. You were always smiling with your friends or tucking your hair behind your ear or dazzling a crowd with an extraordinary story. When you weren’t smoothing down your clothes or checking your made-up face, you were befriending the professors, something only stupid people needed to do.
So how could you have gotten a higher score than him? There must have been a mistake. He would have to ask Slughorn about it after class.
As he walked back to his seat, he glanced at where you were positioned, a table not too far from his own. You had already started on your assignment for the day, making quick work of the cutting and crushing of ingredients. Sure enough, you were dripping with the grace and beauty of someone who most likely didn’t know the difference between reed and foxtail.
How could one possibly be proficient in any academic subject when they looked like that? You probably spent more time shining your shoes than studying for exams. Then how did you beat him, and twice?
He watched you work for the remainder of the period. To his surprise, you were doing everything correctly. You never added a drop too much or a sprig too little. You stirred with precision and knew what color to look for in the brew. You seemed to know exactly what you were doing. Were you truly more intelligent than he had originally presumed?
Still unconvinced, he approached Professor Slughorn after dismissal to question the scores from the most recent exam.
Slughorn only sent him a mysterious look before answering, “Everything is as it should.”
-
After the third week of coming in second place, Tom decided that it was enough. It was time he put his troubles to rest and find out for himself what sort of witchcraft was in play.
“Are you cheating?” he abruptly asked you the moment you took your seat. Professor Slughorn was not yet in class, giving the students ample time to converse before lessons began.
Startled, you stared back at him. “What?”
“You must be receiving help on your practice exams or at the very least borrowing notes from someone,” he stated matter-of-factly. “So tell me. Who is it?”
You had had enough of this arrogant git’s behavior. “What makes you think I need help? Is it so hard to believe that you are not the only person in this room who can do well in school?”
“Well I- you see, you’re not exactly the sort to put much thought to academics,” he defended.
“And what sort is that?” you questioned.
“You know, the vain, pretty lot,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’d imagine you spend more time on your appearance than on your academics.”
You gaped at the boy before you. “You think I’m pretty? And before you go on, my appearance has nothing to do with my drive to excel in scholarly affairs. I’ll have you know I’m more than capable of receiving just as good of marks as you are, despite what you think.”
“Then work with me on today’s partner project,” he challenged.
“Excuse me?” The last thing you were expecting was for the high-and-mighty Tom Riddle to want anything to do with you after his blatant rudeness.
“If you’re truly as good as you say—”
“You mean as good as the scores prove,” you cut in.
Tom rolled his eyes. “If you’re really that good, show me. Demonstrate your skills on today’s potion, and I’ll believe you.”
So the two of you spent the class working together on the assigned potion. Tom made sure to stand back so that you could have the freedom to do things on your own, silently hoping that you would make a mistake. But you didn’t.
Your potion was perfect. There was not an herb out of place or a drop not potent enough. Everything was as it should.
You had clearly proven to Tom that you were a skilled student, worthy of his second glance. You only hoped that the self-righteous twat would realize not to judge people before knowing them.
“While I hate to admit my own shortcomings, you were right,” Tom conceded.
You smiled at his admittance. “Thanks, Tom. I’m glad you learned something from this experience.”
He had expected to feel more disdain at the fact that he had finally found his match. He was waiting for annoyance, jealousy, some spark of rage at being second-best. But all he felt was a strange sensation.
You were quite honestly brilliant, and he couldn’t remember a time when he genuinely thought that about a fellow student. You were quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and unafraid to back down from a challenge. You stood up to him despite barely knowing anything about him, other than that he was a royal pain to you. And, not to mention, you were quite a sight to behold.
It was no secret that Tom kept to himself more often than not. Sure, he had a group of peers who respected him — whether out of fear or genuine liking is up for debate — but he never got to know anyone on a personal level. He never let anyone get too close or see him for someone other than the shining pupil with big plans. But, for once, he wanted someone to share his genius with.
He intended to make you that person.
Part 2
412 notes · View notes
rebeccccccaaa · 3 years
Text
O̶l̶d̶ M̶a̶n̶ M̶o̶v̶e̶s̶
__________________________ Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: Steve shows you a thing or two about being an old man. 
Warnings: *AGE GAP*, smut 18+ minors dni, very dark/inappropriate joke (only mentioned once but beware)
Author’s Notes: I know this isn’t the most original but hEr yA gO lol (ps this a long one but boy is it a good read #prettyproud ;) lmao) __________________________
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“Hey Nat, do you know anything about World War II?” you peeked your head in her room.
“Nope, ask Steve.”
“Hey Tony, do you know anything about World War II?” you walked into the lab.
“Nope, ask Steve.”
“Hey Sam, where’s Bucky?” you walked in the kitchen.
“Mission.”
“Well, do you know anything about  World War II?”
“Nope, ask Steve,” you grunted and rolled your eyes.
“Hey Wanda, do you know anything about World War II?”
“Nope, have you asked Steve?” 
“Ugh! Everyone keeps saying that,” you flopped down on her bed.  
“And why aren't you asking him?” 
You looked at her raising an eyebrow. She was the only, well you think Nat knows but Wanda is the only person you told about your little crush on the super soldier. Upon seeing your face, Wanda chuckled humorously. One time she caught you during a meeting thinking about Steve; every part of Steve. To say you were embarrassed would be an understatement. 
“What about Bucky?”
“He’s on a mission. Hey, what are you watching?”
“Malcolm in the Middle.”
“Nice.”
You laughed at the show for a bit before grunting remembering that you had to finish the history report for your college professor who’s as old as sliced bread. Before you walked out Vision phased through the door. 
“Ooh! Vis, tell me everything about World War II!”
“No, Vis! Don’t tell her a single thing! You have to ask Steve,” she scolded. 
“No!”
“Yes!”
“Wanda,” you whined.
“I’m pretty sure he’s in his room,” she smirked.
“Please don’t make me do it,” you begged hyperbolically. 
“Then fail your report,” she smirked evilly.
“Dammit, Wanda,” you left her room hearing her snicker. 
You stomped to your room and collapsed on your bed. You sat at your computer for twenty minutes until a knock disturbed your dreadful staring. 
“Steve!” you shouted opening the door.
“Hey, Sam told me you needed help with a history report?”
“Sam told you?”
“Yeah; and Tony, and Nat, and Wanda,” Steve phoned chimed suddenly.
“Oh, uh, Buck just texted me saying Sam told him that you need help with uh, a history report,” he chuckled.
“Yeah, World War II,” you gritted.
“Well,” he stood awkwardly at your door still.
“Come in,” you moved over to let him in.
Steve walked in and sat on the edge of your bed. You scurried over and threw yourself on the bed gathering all your papers and books and your laptop. You sat criss crossed on the bed before looking up at him ready for learning, I guess.
“Ok so what exactly do you need to know?” Steve smiled.
“Oh well, uh, maybe we start with life before soldiers got drafted?” you suggested.
Steve smiled remembering tons of stories and memories of him and Bucky being teenagers in New York. You stopped caring about your report altogether and just kicked back to listen to all about Steve. The way he lit up whenever remembered something he forgot to tell you made your heart burst. 
At one point he started laughing so hard, as were you, when he slapped his hand directly on your thigh and squeezed hard from pure humor. Needless to say, you instantly stopped laughing and zeroed in on his large hand and the way it gripped your thigh. 
“Awe man, that such was a good day,” he breathed out once he cooled down.
“Yeah, it’s kinda weird,” you said, coming back to reality.
“Why’s that weird?”
“I don’t know? You’re the captain, you don’t have fun. You’re an old man,” you giggled.
“Old man? Kid, you’re hurting me,” he clutched his chest dramatically.
“Hey, I already told you to stop calling me kid. I’m twenty years old,” you crossed your arms. 
“Hey come on, I’m just joshing ya,” he smirked.
“Who the fuck says ‘joshing ya’?” you laughed.
“What, the kids don’t say that nowadays?” he laughed.
“No!” you were cracking up rolling on the bed.
“You’re supposed to be doing your history report,” he defended.
“You’re such an old man, oh god.”
“And you’re such a child,” he pinned you down on the bed.
“Ooh, someone busting out the old man moves. Get off grandpa,” you smirked.
“Make me, kid,” he emphasized ‘kid’.
You two glared at each amusingly, both trying you very best to not smile. Your shirt had ridden up your stomach and Steve could somewhat see the exposed skin. He didn't think you were a kid per say, he thought you were a very beautiful young woman; too young. He didn’t think it would be appropriate to pursue any sort of relationship with you; it’s not like you were very incognito when it came to checking him out. He knew that you liked him. 
Explains all the teasing you do too. 
The close proximity between you two make you both bothersome; Steve's muscle clenching and fighting every urge in his body to do something he might regret, or worse, something you’ll regret. Your stomach flipped and your mind wandered to what it would be like if you were in this position under different circumstances. 
In an attempt to relieve yourself without Steve knowing you clenched your thighs softly before moving your knee up. Upon moving your knee, your eyes widened and Steve instantly got off you covering his modesty with your sheet. Your face slowly turned into a mischievous smirk before raising your eyebrow at Steve, who profusely blushed under your taunting gaze. 
“Do kids turn you on?” you joked.
“Y/n!” Steve groaned at your highly inappropriate joke.
“I’m kidding!” Steve simply rolled his eyes at you.
“I’m just joshing ya,” you grinned, making Steve chuckle.
“How much of your report have you done?” Steve reached for your laptop; making you panic because you didn’t even have your name let alone a title typed out. 
“Seriously?” he looked at you like a stern father.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you said.
“You don’t even have your name,” he cracked a smile.
“Well, your stories are just too captivating; I was distracted,” you weren’t exactly lying, seeing Steve seem so relaxed and carefree thinking back on memories made you smile. 
“Distracted,” he repeated sarcastically.
“Yeah, I was,” you felt small as Steve got closer to you.
“Is this distracting now?” he mocked.
“Maybe,” you whispered.
He looked at your lips before running his nose along your cheek and your own nose. He pressed his lips too close to your lips, of which you were desperate for him to touch. Your hands grabbed at his arms that were held tightly on your waist for any sort of stability. You felt like you were going to pass out. 
“You better finish that report if you know what’s good for you,” he whispered against your lips. 
“Huh?” you breathed out seeing as Steve has stood up and made his way to your door. 
“You heard me. Come find me when you’ve been a good girl and finished that report,” he slipped out smoothly leaving you high and dry, or rather soaking in arousal. 
Your eyes were practically bulging from your head and you couldn’t believe the Steve with that gnarly stick up his ass was the same one that just easily turned you on like an easy-bake oven and called you a ‘good girl’. You immediately rushed to grab your laptop googling facts about World War II and typed faster than Usain Bolt could run.
Meanwhile Steve stood in the shower with cock in hand, his thumb rubbing over the tip leaking with precum. He ran his hand down his shaft and threw his head back at the pleasure. He moaned your name and tensed his muscles getting close to a release. 
He had to hold on to the wall to keep his knees from buckling. The sight of seeing you under him, squirming and wiggling so innocently made his cock twitch. He knew that you liked him, it wasn’t necessarily a huge secret; you weren’t desperate to hide that fact. But he knew you weren’t going around telling people so he never said anything. 
He went to your room genuinely trying to help with your college report and he got enthralled with his own memories. He didn’t exactly know when the air shifted but he realized it indefinitely when your body tensed under his hand that rested perfectly on your thigh. 
He remembers the softness of skin and remembers the way your breathing quickened. He kept the conversation going as innocently as possible but then you started teasing him about his age, about what an old fashioned sucker he was. And all he could think about in that moment was flipping you over and fucking you into the mattress you showing his “old man moves”. 
“Fuck,” he moaned to himself.
Soon enough after a couple more pumps, he painted the shower walls with his cum desperately wishing it was your stomach or even your back. He just wanted you there with him. He felt guilty thinking about you like that. He knew if he were ever to get with you he wouldn't be able to keep up. You were so spright and mischievous and beautiful and gorgeous and sexy and… wait; slow down, Steve.
He got out of the shower and cleaned himself off. He changed and just stayed in his room letting the sounds of the TV drown any thoughts he might wandered to you. A sudden knock broke the silence settled in his room and he opened the door to find his best friend. 
“Hey, man,” Bucky smiled.
“Buck, your back,” Steve opened the door further letting him come in. 
“Oh, did you get my text? About helping Y/n with her report? Heard it’s like forty percent of her grade,” he said. 
“Yeah uh, I did,” Steve said hesitantly; Bucky narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously.
“What did you do?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Steve retorted.
“I don’t believe you. Come on what happened?” Buck chuckled.
“She called me an old man,” Steve pouted.
“Haha! Seriously?”
“Yeah but jokes on her cuz I-” Steve stopped himself, what if his best friend thought he was a creep.
“Oh no, did you guys fuck?” he asked suddenly.
“Buck,” Steve groaned.
“You did, didn’t you!”
“Almost!” Steve bursted out, his eyes widening in fear.
“Hey, why are you all freaked out? I thought you liked her?” Bucky questioned.
“Yeah, but what? She’s too young. I thought you were gonna think I was a creep,” Steve was confused.
“Well, how old is she?”
“She’s uh, she’s twenty, almost twenty-one,” he muttered.
“Oh, yikes. Uh, I don’t know man. I mean you’re both adults,” Bucky said. 
“Fuck, man. I really fucked up,” Steve said making Bucky ‘language’ him of which Steve glared back.
“Did you kiss her?”
“No, almost,” Steve responded.
“Ok then what happened?”
Steve explained to Bucky what happened just hours ago and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at his poor friend's antics.
“You’re such a fucking tease, Steve,” Bucky joked.
“Buck, you’re not helping,” Steve grunted.
“Well, either you keep your promise and fuck her good, or be that old man she called you with a stick up your ass and make her feel like shit. No pressure though. See for dinner, I’m going to beat the shit out of Sam,” Bucky stood up.
“What’d he do?”
“Nothing,” with that Bucky left. 
Steve sat there on his bed conflicted. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. All he knows is that you’re a beautiful girl and Steve wants nothing more than to show you; he knows you'd be more than willing to let him have his way with you. But on the contrary, you are too young. There are tons of guys who would be so lucky to call you theirs; and they’re your age. 
Then again, Steve can’t even imagine another man putting his hands on you. They’d never be able to pleasure you like he could. Ugh, but you called him an old man! Fuck this, Steve thought, I’m taking a nap.
-
You sat in your room busying yourself with facts about the war. You cried about the horrid things that happened, terrified that people that live in the world. You were even more shocked that Bucky and Steve lived through that. 
You glanced at the clock noticing the many hours that had passed you. It was sundown which usually meant Wanda was going to come by any minute-
“What do you want for dinner?” There she is. 
“Uh, I’m not sure. Haven't had much time to think about it,” you said lifting your laptop.
“Did Steve come?”
“I don’t know but he came pretty close,” you said snarkily. When he left about 5 minutes after you had to change your panties because you couldn’t focus on the report with arousal dripping out of you. 
“What the hell does that mean?” Wanda sat on your bed. You told what happened when Steve came by, how innocent everything seemed until it wasn’t. Wanda was rolling on your bed in laughter, snorting at your frustration. 
“Wandaaa,” you whined. 
“Sorry, sorry. But I’m confused,” she cooled down.
“What’s there to be confused about; Steve Rogers is a fucking tease,” you grunted. 
“I thought this is what you want. He clearly seems to like you back,” she said. 
“I don’t know it’s just-”
“Just what?”
“It’s not exactly clear whether he likes me or just wants some young, fresh meat. He didn’t say he liked me back.”
“Did you say you liked him in the first place?”
“No.” Wanda sighed at your answer. Were you overreacting?
“Y/n, I’ve known Steve for a long time and he’s not that kinda guy.”
“People change.”
“Y/n-”
“I just wish it stayed like a little stupid crush, because then I wouldn’t have to worry about my heart getting broken like that; worrying whether it’s real or not. Pining hurts so good, it’s comfortable.”
“Well, on a lighter note, how’s the report?” Wanda changed the subject so you wouldn’t feel bad anymore.
“I’m almost done, I think I’m gonna skip out on dinner. I’m really close to finishing,” you told her.
“Want me to bring you a plate?” she asked.
“Yes, please.”
-
Everyone sat at the table eating silently. Sam held an ice pack to his face because Bucky accidentally threw a rock at him; seriously it was an accident. Bucky threw the rock at his groin but Sam tripped back and the rock landed on his face. There are no hard feelings though, Sam said he was gonna get him and now Bucky’s arm is disabled and limp.
Steve stared at the seat across from him, it was the seat you always took next to Wanda. You weren’t here for dinner and he was wondering if it had something to do with him. Did he make you uncomfortable enough that you never want to see him? 
“She’s finishing her report,” Wanda said, her voice echoing in Steve’s head.
“Ooh what’s the gossip?” Nat said humorously seeing as Wanda’s eyes glowed red as did Steve’s. 
“Nothing,” Steve mumbled. 
“He was wondering where Y/n was?” Wanda said making Steve shoot daggers at her. 
“You miss your little girlfriend?” Sam joked.
“Shut it,” Steve growled.
“She never misses dinner. Where the brat?” Tony asked.
“She has a history report for a college class and she told me she was almost done and that she was gonna skip dinner,” Wanda explained.
No more questions were asked and everyone ate in peace. Small talk and laughter was exchanged appropriately but Steve couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you lied to Wanda to get out of dinner. What if you hate him now? What if you were creeped out by him now? Fuck.
“Steve your plate?” Wanda asked him. 
“Oh sorry, I’m finished. Thank you,” he handed her the plate of picked food. 
“Y/n, asked me if I could bring her a plate when we were finished.”
Steve simply looked puzzled at her. 
“Take this. And don’t break her heart,” she said handing him your plate. 
“I would never,” he said.
“Don’t tell me, tell her.”
Steve walked hesitantly up to your room. He knocked careful not to disturb you. He heard you shout, giving him access to your room and he found you laying on your stomach typing away on your laptop while cartoons played lowly on the TV.
“I brought your dinner,” he said softly.
“Thank you! Ugh, I’m starving but I swear I have like two sentences.”
He smiled and placed your food on your bedside before sitting on the bed with you. He watched your face carefully memorizing the smallest things about you that he’s never really noticed before. He noticed the dryness of your lips because you bit them whenever you were immensely focused just as now. 
He admired the small creases between your eyebrows and the way you scrunched your nose. Your hair was a little crazy and he noticed you had changed since he’d last been with you. He thinks he knows why that is and if it was true, he felt a sense of pride almost. Imagine if he really got to touch the way he wants. How ruined you would be. 
“Steve?” you asked.
“I’m sorry?” he asked.
“Are you ok?” you smiled awkwardly. 
“Oh uh, yeah. I’m ok.”
You ate quietly, eyes trained on the TV and Steve felt out of place. He went to stand up but you placed your food down and called after him.
“Where are you going?” you asked.
“I didn’t think you wanted me here anymore,” he said softly. 
“But, but you said to come find you when I finish my report. You’re already here,” you said shyly.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think-”
“I was a good girl and finished,” you said innocently biting your lip.
“Y/n,” Steve sighed. 
“What?” Oh no, you guessed it. He doesn’t actually like you and he's just messing with you.
“Hey look at me,” Steve grabbed your chin softly. You didn’t want to but you ultimately did.
“I want nothing more than to reward you for being a good girl but I can’t,” he said sadly.
“It's because I’m too young, isn’t it,” you whined. 
“I can’t do that to you. You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetheart. An old man like me shouldn’t keep you back like this,” he said.
“You’re not keeping anywhere, I’m an Avenger just like you. I don’t have anybody else. I’m only going to college because Tony’s paying for it and I took this stupid histroy class because I wanted to know more about what life was like for you. Because I like you,” you said. 
“Y/n, you can have anyone and you’re choosing me?” he chuckled.
“Yes, guys my age don’t even know where the clit is!” you shouted exasperated.
“Show them,” he said stupidly.
“Ah, yes. Because a twenty-two year old college frat boy is gonna wanna listen to you tell him how to have sex,” you said squinting your eyes, making Steve chuckle.
“I don’t want a guy my age, I want you.”
Steve cupped your face softly and you leaned into his hand with a childish pout. Steve smiled at you and your pout turned into a smile too. 
“You’re gonna be the death of me, babygirl,” he sighed, pushing you down to lay on the bed.
“Not if you die from a stroke first old man,” you cracked. 
Steve wrapped his large hand around your neck bringing his face dangerously close yours.
“Smart mouth, and to think I was about to reward you.”
His voice gave you chills and you audibly whimpered under him. Steve pressed his leg between your thighs and your body shudder feeling his muscular thigh firmly pressed against your core.
“Fuck,” your voice shook.
“Does that feel good?” he asked mockingly, he knows what he’s doing.
“Yes, Stevie,” you whimpered.
“Fuck, you sound sweet whimpering and shaking under me. Almost feel kinda bad.”
His hand squeezed a bit harder and your body melted into the bed. He leaned down and kissed for the first time. Your eyes opened wide before fluttering closed again wallowing in his kiss. Your hand moved from his forearm to his face cupping it gently and your lips moved against his impeccably. 
His lips faltered and trailed down your throat, his hand pulling your hair gently to move your head back to give him more room. He nipped and bit at your throat hungrily before soothing his marks with his tongue. His hands sneaked up your shirt, his fingertips grazing the skin under your breasts. He could feel the chills that rose all over your skin and he chuckled darkly in your ear. 
“Is this ok?” he asked softly tugging the waistband of your shorts. 
“Yes, please,” you moaned. 
Steve pulled them down little by little pressing kisses to every new part of exposed skin. He littered your hip bones and thighs with light bruises and bites. You were practically dripping in arousal, toes curling under themselves anticipating Steve’s next move.
He stood up at the edge of the bed keeping his eyes trained on yours, slowly unbuckling his belt. He pulled his pants down showing off his very impressive length. He gripped with his hand pumping it softly. He grabbed your ankle with his other hand and pulled you close to the edge of the bed.
“Lay on your stomach, babygirl,” Steve directed.
You eagerly flipped over, pushing your ass up to the air. Steve smiled at your ambition and gently rubbed your cheeks you put up for him. He pumped his cock a few times before lining himself up with you. 
“Fuck, you gonna be my good girl?” he asked seductively.
“Yeah, fuck. Stevie, fuck me good,” you moaned. 
“Open up those pretty legs for me, will ya?” Steve smirked. You spread your legs wider and arched your back more. When Steve finally pushed past your entrance, you felt so full. 
“You gotta breathe baby,” Steve soothed. 
“Sorry, you’re just… so big,” you whimpered.
“I know baby but you're taking my cock so well, you're being such a good fucking girl.”
“Steve!” you squeaked. 
Steve snapped his hips in and out of you rapidly and you couldn’t help the high-pitched moans that escaped your mouth. Steve gripped your hips harshly, forming littles red and purple marks on your hip bones that you’ll have to admire tomorrow morning. 
You gasped and moaned at the feeling of Steve’s cock driving into you and you couldn’t hold back any longer. 
“Stevie, I’m gonna come! Fuck, I can’t hold it. Please daddy let me come!”
“Come on pretty baby, come for daddy. Make a mess all over my cock like a good girl,” he groaned above you.
Your body trembled and your arms fell forward as you nearly screamed Steve’s name in pure ecstasy. You breathed heavily but Steve wasn’t done with you yet. He pulled his still ever hard dick out of you momentarily to rid his shirt. He walked to the side of the bed and sat comfortably with his back against the headboard. 
“Come here baby girl. I know you’re tired but I think you pull one more for me, yeah?” his voice was silky. 
You whimpered and tried your best to sit up all the way, crawling desperately over to Steve. He kissed you softly before slowly pulling the hem of your shirt over your head to expose your breasts fully to him. 
“Fuck, you are just too beautiful, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear, his voice raspy making your body shudder above him. 
His hands roamed your body; smoothing over your ribs, your hips to your thighs, back to hips against pulling you impossibly closer to him. His lips again just as before nipped and pecked the skin along your neck and collarbones and you could resist the small whimpers you made. 
“Steve,” you moaned.
“I got ya, baby. I’m right here.”
You looked into his lust blown eyes before kissing him messily. Your age divulges your experience but Steve couldn't care less. You lifted your hips for him and he lined himself once again to your entrance. 
Your arousal made it easier this time around and you were able to fully bask in the feeling and pleasure from Steve’s length. You hastily moved your hips around, back and forth, the position completely new to you. You felt erotic and confident and Steve’s kisses and praises did nothing but egg you on. 
“You're doing so good, my love. God, you keep clenching me like that and I’m gonna blow,” he moaned.
“Please, Stevie. I want to make you feel good,” you encouraged.
“You already are, don’t even worry about that,” he smirked.
Your hands gripped at his shoulders hard, nails digging into his pale skin. Your clit rubbed against his pelvis and soon enough you felt another orgasm approaching quickly. As you grew tired, Steve’s hands went to your cheeks and aided you in moving back and forth.
Your arms gave out again and you fell against Steve's torso still thrusting your hips back and forth with his help. The pressure built rapidly in your lower stomach and you couldn’t hold it again. 
“Steve,” you moaned. 
“I know, just hold on, please. I wanna come with you; I’m almost there,” he gasped. 
You held back as long as you but soon enough your body shook against Steve, desperate to release everything you have in you. In an attempt to distract yourself momentarily, you treated Steve the same by nipping and kissing the skin of his neck and shoulder. Your hands combing into his hair, tugging on his short blonde hair. 
“Ok, go ahead babygirl,” he grunted, “Fuck!”
“Ugh, Steve!” you couldn’t help but sink your teeth into his shoulder. Ecstasy waved over you and you feel euphoric. Your body trembled from intensity and Steve whispered soft praises in your ear. His words soothed you and your eyes felt heavy. Steve tracing little patterns on the small of your back did not help your tired case. 
“I gotta clean you up, sweetheart,” Steve whispered, you could hear the smile in his voice.
“No, stay with me, please,” you whined. 
“I promise I’ll be back,” he chuckled.
“Hm,” you huffed.
You slowly rolled off of Steve and he practically ran to your bathroom emerging with a warm wet towel in hand. You laid limply on the bed, your breathing slowly returning to normal. Steve kissed your stomach and hips softly as he cleaned between your thighs gently. He went back to the bathroom and cleaned himself up as well.
“Come back,” you whined, making him chuckle.
“Yay,” you cheered softly when he did.
“Are you ok, sweetheart?” 
“Mh-hm,” you nodded tiredly.
“I freaking love you,” you said, hiking your leg over to lay on top of him again. You nuzzled your nose in the crook of his neck.
“You do?”
“Yeah.” There was a slight moment of pause.
“Do you love me?” your voice crack and tears brimmed your eyes.
“I shouldn’t…” he started. His heart nearly broke when you looked up at him with teary eyes; afraid he would say he didn’t and you fell in love just to get your heart broken.
“But I do,” he finally said.
“Thanks,” you sniffled, making Steve smile.
“I love you, sweetheart,” he kissed the top of your head. 
“I love you too, old man.”
-
The next morning, Steve slipped out of bed while you were still asleep, you looked so beautiful and peaceful. It took everything in him not to just crawl back into bed with you but Steve had a couple things to do and it was already past eight. He promised to himself that he was gonna come back before you wake up.
So he softly closed the door before immediately running around the compound filing paperwork, directing agents and trainees, meeting with Nick Fury, and lastly making breakfast for you and him. Wanda, Bucky, and Sam all sat at the counter eating bowls of cereal watching Steve frantically run around the kitchen making breakfast. 
“What the hell are you doing?” Bucky spoke up. 
“I’m making breakfast,” Steve momentarily stopped to say. 
“Ok, but why are you freaking out like that? You’re running around like a crazy person.”
“I have to make it before-” Steve stopped himself. He didn't know whether or not he should say anything, whether you were comfortable with others knowing yet. 
“What did you do?” Wanda said, smiling like an idiot.
“Nothing, I’m just really hungry and I need to make breakfast before I starve,” he said.
“Really?”  Bucky said.
“Yeah.”
“Where’s Y/n?”
“She’s aslee-” Steve stopped himself again.
The three at the counter bursted into a fit of laughter at Steve’s slip up and he just simply rolled his eyes before finally plating the food and running upstairs. Not without flipping the three still laughing off. 
He slowly opened the door finding you still asleep in bed. He smiled at your beautiful form illuminated by the golden rays of the sun peeking through the curtains. He placed the food on your table before sitting on the bed, his hands softly running up and down your side to slowly wake you. 
Your eyes fluttered open and upon seeing Steve’s gorgeous face you smiled. 
“Good morning, old man,” you grinned cheekily. 
“When are you let that go?” he shook his head.
“Never,” you winked.
“I brought you food, pretty girl.”
“Thank you,” you sat up covering yourself. You ate the food he made for you and made grabby hands for him to cuddle you. He laughed before crawling back into bed with you. You made a face though before he got fully under the covers and he gave a puzzled look.
“What?”
“Why are you all dressed?”
“I had a couple things to do this morning and then I made you breakfast. I couldn’t walk around in my birthday suit,” he laughed.
“Hm, fine. I’ll give you a pass,” you said making him chuckle, “Can you at least take your shirt off again?”
He smiled cheekily before getting up and taking his shirt and pants off leaving him in his boxers. You cheered making him laugh even harder before he dived into bed cuddling you extra close. His strong arms wrapping safely around you and his legs entangling themselves with yours. 
You kissed him one last time before grabbing your TV remote and turning on the TV to watch cartoons.
“You know sometimes you really are a kid,” Steve snickered.
“Yeah grandpa? What about this,” you fluffed his beard that specks of grey hairs.
“Do I need to show my old man moves again?” he smirked.
“Yeah, I think you oughta,” you winked before Steve threw the covers kissing your stomach all the way to your core. You gotta admit, the old man’s got some moves. 
==================
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@mathletemadison​
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Note
Headcannon of a poly relationship w fem Y/N, Mikasa, and Annie? Like the relationship dynamics and what a normal day would look like? If u include a NSFW dynamics I wouldn’t mind👀
BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND 💗💗💗 love ur posts and have a nice day😇💞
Sure thing anon! Also, thank you, and have a nice day as well!
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Mikasa Ackerman x Reader x Annie Leonhart: HCs
AU: Canon
Warnings: None
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(SFW)
Surprisingly, being in a relationship with these two can get quite hectic sometimes, despite the fact that they're both pretty calm people by themselves
They are fiercely protective over you sometimes. Even if you are just as good of a soldier as you are, they will be defending you left and right
They usually stick by your side during missions, making sure that the three of you are near each other at all times, that way you have each others' back
But they don't just defend you against titans, no, they will defend you against anyone
They show their protectiveness differently, though
Annie is generally more relaxed about it than Mikasa is, and on top of that, Annie is very physical when it comes down to it, but Mikasa is more verbal about it
For instance, if a training partner is being too rough on purpose, it wouldn't be a surprise for Annie to quietly ask to speak with them after practice, only to show up to breakfast with a black eye the next morning
Or, if, heaven forbid, someone else start coming on to you, Mikasa will pull them aside for a stern talking to, telling them to back off. And, since it's Mikasa, they always listen
Even Instructor Shadis isn't safe. If they feel he's being a little too hard on you during training, one or both of them will talk to him, using their wits to convince him that you're in no fit to keep training for the day, and then joining you in bed once he excuses you
After a while, people start to learn that it's best to stay on good terms with you, unless they want to make enemies with two of the strongest soldiers in the 104th
Though, they are great listeners when it comes down to it. If you think they're being a bit too overbearing, they'll back off
They both love you and respect you a lot, and would hate to do anything against your wishes
They're both very aloof people, but around you (in private, that is) they're both really soft
Mikasa's love language is quality time, so you can expect her to be near you at most times, reminding you of her presence every now and then just to remind you that she's here for you. She doesn't need to say or do much, she just wants to be close to you, physically and emotionally
Meanwhile, Annie's love language is, surprisingly, physical touch. She'll constantly be having her shoulder up against yours, or her hand gripping yours, or, if you're really lucky, she'll show one of her rare moments of vulnerability, embracing you tightly and clinging onto you until she's satisfied
The three of you, while caring deeply about your friends, value the moments where you all get to be completely alone, not having to worry about the gazes of others on you
Cuddle piles (subsequently leading to long, comfortable naps) are quite common
Mikasa, being the nurturing type she is, will gently pull you and Annie closer into her sides, tucking yours or Annie's head onto her chest or into the crook of her arm, keeping you warm and close to her
It's at these moments, too, that Annie isn't afraid to seem vulnerable or meek, curling into Mikasa's side and draping an arm or a leg over the ravenette's body
Or, sometimes, if either Mikasa or Annie isn't present, the other one will pull you to rest against their chest, letting you fall asleep against them while they wait patiently for the other one to show up
Sometimes, though, when they do show up, they'll take a short moment to fawn over your sleeping form, discussing how cute you look when you sleep, and how lucky they are to be in a relationship with both you and the other
As I've mentioned a little earlier, Mikasa is the nurturing one of you three
If you or Annie get hurt, she's at their side at an instant, treating their wounds with such a gentle touch, as if her lover was made of glass, and would break at any touch just a tad too harsh
Sometimes, Annie gets insecure about your relationship, feeling like she isn't great at opening up and showing emotions/vulnerability, and that the two of you seem so much more content when she isn't around
Which leads you and Mikasa to share a quick glance before you rush over to comfort her, hugging her gently and whispering just how much she means to you both
And that was the first time either of you—or anyone for that matter—had seen Annie cry.
But neither of you make any huge notice of it, instead just pulling her closer, wiping her tears away with your hands
A daily routine between the three of you always starts very early in the morning, due to Annie's habit to always get some running in before training starts
And, within about a week of dating her, Mikasa joined her
You were... less enthusiastic about waking up early just to exercise, so often, you would just stay in bed
And, ever since you made it clear that you prefer the extra hour of sleep over a run in the early morning hues of dawn, they started to speed their run up, taking it from a light jog to a running pace, just so they can get back to the barracks to spend an extra thirty minutes in bed with you before the official wake-up time
During breakfast time, you'll usually sit with Eren and Armin, just so Mikasa can spend some time with her friends (which is surprisingly scarce between her relationship and her training/duty as a soldier), though sometimes you'll let Annie sit with Reiner and Bertholdt. She never really says much at all to the two, but you know she likes to be in their presence sometimes, so you and Mikasa never pestered her about it
Unfortunately, the three of you are seldom ever partnered with each other, but more often than not, you'll be able to pester Shadis into letting you three train together
In that case, you usually forgo the actual instructions in favor of Annie teaching you and Mikasa her martials arts technique
After a long day of training, the three of you will often go straight to bed, too exhausted to do anything else, but sometimes, you'll sneak out after dark to spend a little quality time together
Usually, you do something simple and relaxing, just enough to truly unwind you from the days activities
Sometimes you'll go for a walk, other times you'll climb up onto the roof to stargaze, or sometimes you'll even just huddle up under a tree for a while
But no matter what it is, there's always a conversation
Since moments alone like this are few and far between, the three of you take the time to talk about anything and everything
The future, the present, or even the dark past they both seemed to share
You'll discuss plans for the future, about where you'll go and what you'll do if you ever retire from the military
And, seldom does it happen, but Mikasa might even bring up the idea of starting a family of your own someday
Though, with death looming so threateningly over you three at all times, it's best not to humor the idea
Still, you appreciate all moments together like this, because they truly love you and love each other more than words can express
(NSFW)
In the bedroom, things can get really heated between the three of you, considering both Annie and Mikasa are very passionate lovers
It's not something they can devote time to everyday, so when you do get down to it, you'll probably be at it for a while
As for how things get started, it's surprisingly a bit of exhibitionism
Just because they're lovers doesn't mean they still have a playful rivalry between the two of them
So, if one of them is in the mood, they'll try to isolate you and start eating you out or fingering you, just waiting until the other one inevitably walks in and joins you
Which often leads to little contests about who can please you more/give you more orgasms
Which is all well and good for you, until they get a little too into it, leaving you helplessly overstimulated without them even realizing it, with Annie's fingers in your cunt and Mikasa rubbing at your clit
But, most of the time, sex involves all three of you equally
Annie tends to be a service top most of the time, perfectly content with eating you or Mikasa out for hours, even if she doesn't actually get to come that night
Mikasa does top sometimes, but tends to be a little bit more submissive
Especially when it's just her and Annie, Annie will almost always top
But either way, they both have one shared desire—having you be in the middle of them
Since they are both very giving women, they love to please you and have you be the center of attention during sex
One of the most common positions, for example, has you situated on your back, while Mikasa rides your face and Annie hikes a leg over her shoulder and scissors you
That one almost always leaves a mess, but they get too caught up in the moment to care
Speaking of mess, Annie is a shameless lover of cum. There, I said it
Mikasa on her own is already a squirter, but if you are too, she just loses it
She loves when you come hard and squirt everywhere. She will 100% lick it off of you
In a modern AU, I imagine both of them being really fond of toys
Annie's strap game would be IMMACULATE
She would always have just the right pace as she sits you down in her lap, forcing you up and down on the silicone cock as it splits you open mercilessly
Meanwhile, Mikasa is a huge fan of vibrators, both on her and you
She loves when the two of you sit really close together, just enough so that she can stick a vibrator between you two so it stimulates both of your clits at once
I also have a feeling that they would make you wear those vibrating panties, then go out in public and take shifts with the remote
But they don't want to actually get caught doing it, so after about 30 minutes of torturous on and off vibrations, they just take you into an empty restroom just to finish you off quickly
I also have a feeling that Annie would kinda get off to watching you and Mikasa go at it without her
Like, she'd stand over you two and tell you exactly what to do to each other, and shamelessly start fingering herself as she watches
But, after quite a few rounds, you three would be way too tired to continue, eventually just collapsing right where you were
Mikasa would 100% be the queen of aftercare
Like, as soon as you and Annie are done, she'll be up to grab anything either of you need
Something to drink? A light snack? Something to clean up with? She has whatever you need
"Are you thirsty? Hang on baby, I'll go to the kitchen. Need anything else while I'm there?"
And she's so gentle with it, too
She does get a little embarrassed, though, having to take the dainty little napkin and wiping it over your cunt and the inside of your thighs to clean up all the mess you made
But, once she's satisfied with how you two are feeling, she'll lay down right next to you, pulling you or Annie into her chest, clinging onto them protectively
Which leads to the other one inevitably shuffling over to Mikasa's side as well, not wanting to miss out on the post-sex cuddles
What can you say? She's a great cuddler
And then, finally, you enjoy the gentle moment between you and your lovers, your eyes slowly closely as sleep overtakes you
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I might have just written more NSFW than I did SFW... and if so, I don't know whether to be more disappointed or impressed by myself.
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thedaredevilsgirl · 3 years
Text
Chapter Two - Vibrating
Warning: Smut (vibrator use, fingering and dirty talk)
Word count: 1,817
I'm starting to think I'm terrible at writing smut, but I swear I'm trying to improve. I hope you like it
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You and Tom have always been close, everyone knew that, but after the events of the last week it seemed that you were even closer. He was always waiting for you so you could go to campus together, walking you to your class and taking you to the library before you went back to the fraternity.
"Megan said she is waiting for me in front of the library and can take me home later, so you don't have to wait for me today." You say to Tom as they walked to the library.
"Are you sure honey?"
"Yeah, see you later" you turn to look at him.
"Can I come to your room tonight?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face.
Every time he smiled like that it made you nervous, you nod your head positively and he steps closer tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear before bending down a little to be your size and whispering.
"I can't wait to touch you again angel," you feel your whole body shiver at those words.
Tom leaves a kiss on your forehead and goes in the opposite direction from you.
When you turn to enter the library you see Megan with her arms crossed in front of her body looking at you suspiciously, you approach her and she pulls you inside the library quickly making you sit on one of the tables and sitting in front of you.
"You're going to tell me everything that's going on right now," she commands.
"What are you talking about Megan? Nothing is going on" you try to cover it up.
"Y/N I'm not an idiot, why are you and Tom suddenly so close?"
"We've always been close" you answer as if it's obvious.
"Yes, because he is your brother's best friend, but now you are acting like a couple, like you are fucking...OH MY GOD YOU ARE FUCKING" some people who were inside look at the two of you angrily.
"Keep your voice down please, and no, we are not fucking...not yet at least."
"Oh my god, what do you mean not yet?" She asks agitated.
"I asked him to teach me how to fuck" you say softly and embarrassed "he said yes and maybe he gave me a oral earlier in the week" you admit all at once.
She puts her hands over her mouth to avoid screaming again, and you can see the excitement in her eyes.
"Finally you're doing something about your feelings," she says with a smile.
"I don't have feelings for him" "A seriously" she rolls her eyes" You have liked him since first grade and he likes you too, you just never did anything because your idiot brother would kill him"
"That's not true" he tries to defend himself and she just looks at him with disdain.
"You can literally feel the sexual tension between the two of you."
"Anyway, it's just sex Megan, nothing else is going to happen, I just need the experience." You say. She suddenly gets up from the table again drawing glances at both of you.
"Get up" she says quickly grabbing her things.
"What? Why? I thought we were going to study".
"No, we're going shopping".
•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•
When your friend Megan said you were going shopping, you thought she was talking about going to some clothing store, but that's not what happened.
"Why are we here?" You ask Megan as soon as she has you enter a sex shop getting a blush as you look at the things there.
"I just thought since you started your sex life you might want a few things" She says laughing.
"If I had known you were going to act this way I wouldn't have told you" you roll your eyes "can we please leave".
"No, come on Y/N, have some fun, I know this isn't really your thing, but I guarantee that once you try it you will like it, you just need to give it a chance" she speaks while looking for something specific in the store.
"Try what exactly?" "
Here" she takes something from one of the shelves before turning to you again "try this on" she puts the box in your hand.
"No, no way" you turn red as you hold the small box of bal vibrator in your hand.
"Y/N, think along with me, you tonight, going into Tom's room and saying you want him to use this on you" she points to the vibrator.
You can picture exactly the scene perfectly and it sounds wonderful.
"I'm sure you'll kill him with a hard-on just by suggesting it, and you'll still have a wonderful orgasm, so...will you try it?" She ask.
"Ok, fine" you give in.
"Great" she smiles "don't worry, I'll pay, thank me after Holland makes you cum".
•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•
You ran to your room as soon as you arrived at the fraternity, only to take the vibrator out of the box and clean it, You also changed your lingerie for one that you had just bought. You wanted to impress Tom a little tonight.
As soon as you get dressed again and hide the small vibrator in the pocket of your sweatshirt you finally make your way to Tom's room.
"May I come in?" You ask knocking on Tom's bedroom door.
"Hey" he says as he opens the door and gives you room to enter "I was just on my way to your room, I thought you'd be here early" he locks the door.
"Megan and I decided to do some shopping" you say smiling and sit down at the study table.
"Did you buy anything interesting?" You ask curious.
"Yeah, I mean we went to some cool stores, forever 21, Gap, Victoria Secrets and Megan took me to a sex shop" you say as if it wasn't something interesting and Tom looks at you surprised.
"Megan took you where? He asks, maybe he had heard you wrong.
"To a sex shop," you shrug.
"Why?" he asks walking over to you and standing between your legs.
"I wanted to see something" you say a little nervously taking the small vibrator from your pocket "actually I wanted to try something"
"What?" Just imagining you going to a sex shop made Tom horny.
"I want you to use this on me" she puts the dildo in his hand.
He sighs as he looks at the vibrator and soon after he is kissing you desperately, his hands grip your waist tightly pulling you closer to his body.
Your shirt is the first to be removed and he stops for a moment just to look at your body, trapping his lower lip between his lips when he sees the red lingerie on your body.
"Do you like it?" He asks running his fingers gently over the strap of the bra "I bought it with you in mind."
"I think it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He helps you remove your skirt without you having to get off the table.
"Can you take your shirt off too, please?" He smiles and removing his shirt, his hand touches your abdomen the direction before pulling you in for another kiss.
His fingers touch the inside of her thigh trailing towards her intimacy, both fingers touch the delivery catching the wetness and he brings them to his mouth closing his eyes as he feels her taste again on his tongue. His breathing fails, you never thought you would see anything hotter than this.
"Are you sure you want to try this baby?" He asks to make sure it felt comfortable.
"Yes, please."
He finally takes the vibrator and turns it on at the lowest speed.
First he slides it down the length of your neck stopping the vibrations right at your pulse point, you close your eyes and feel him moving further down, from the top of your breasts to your nipples making them hard against the lacy fabric of your bra.
"Stop teasing me, please," you plead, and he just smiles.
The vibrations travel down your belly and you feel your breath hitch as he reaches for the bar of your panties, he looks at you for confirmation and you say yes.
The vibrator finally touches your clit and you feel like you might die, but the vibrations are turned off soon after. You look at Tom trying to understand why he had stopped.
"Don't worry honey, just getting it out of the way" he says pulling your panties off your body.
He turns the vibrator back on and puts it in contact with your clit, he moves it down into your folds teasing your wet entrance, sighing you throw your head back feeling the pleasure in your body. Tom leans only his body on yours and leaves wet kisses on your neck.
"Tom, please" you moan gripping the curly locks of your hair tightly
"I need more". He chuckles against her neck before bringing the vibrator again to her clit along with his thumb making a circular motion.
"Don't stop please" she pleads.
"You don't know how beautiful your moans are love" he whispers to you and lets a light bite on your earlobe increasing the speed of the vibrator.
"Fuck, Thomas, I'm going to..." You close your eyes tightly feeling a tasty sensation in the pit of your stomach indicating that you were about to cum.
"I got you angel, cum for me".
Your body obeys his command and you come with a loud scream of his name, he turns off the vibrator but continues with the finger movements until you come down from orgasm.
You hug him tiredly letting your head fall on his shoulder, he quickly picks you up in his lap and lays you on his bed.
"Are you okay?" He asks pulling your hair out of your face.
"Yes, thank you."
"You need to stop thanking me for this" he smiles.
"Never, not until you stop giving me orgasms" she laughs a little before closing her eyes.
He lies down next to her hugging her body and sleeping next to her for the first time.
•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•
You wake up the next morning alone in Tom's bed, desperate to get out of there and not be caught by your brother, and sneak out of the room quietly.
When you are finally ready for your day and go downstairs to the kitchen you see Tom and Harrison having coffee alone since the other guys in the house were slow to wake up.
"Did you sleep well?" Harrison asks as soon as you enter the kitchen.
"Yes" you put the coffee in the cup and sit down next to him "Very well" you say looking at Tom.
"And you?" he asks Tom "did you bring any girls home last night?"
"What do you mean?"
"Dude, your room is next to mine, I heard all the moaning" Harrison says laughing and you choke lightly on your coffee "Don't stop, Oh Thomas, keep going I'm going to cum" you say imitating a female voice.
"Did you hear everything?" Tom asks nervously.
"Yeah, I don't know who the girl was, but I hope you made her cum at least," he says debauched.
"Yes, I did" he says smugly giving a cocky wink.
He walks past you to put the cup in the sink and when Harrison is not looking he whispers in your ear.
"And I hope for several more".
TAGLIST
@cherryobx
@a-daydreamers-day
@bevanbexley5252
@multihoee
@storybookholland
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elidereads · 3 years
Text
You Came For Me (NSFW Elriel Fanfic)
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Summary: The night after Azriel rescues Elain from Hybern Elain goes to his tent to make sure he's okay.
Word Count: 5,800
Warnings: NSFW
Notes: This is my first fanfic. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated it. 🖤
AO3
She couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she shivered remembering the things she was trying to forget, the feelings she wanted to scrub away. She couldn’t make herself trust that she was safe. She tried to focus on Nesta’s steady breathing and failed. Sounds that had once assured her of her safety now felt meaningless. Nesta had always been her safe haven, the only person who wouldn’t fail her or leave her. But the last time they had slept in this tent Elain learned that she was not safe. The cauldron could find her anywhere.
Not that it was Nesta’s fault, really she only had her own stupidity to blame. Her heart and mind warred with themselves, trying to decide what feeling made her cringe more, fear or shame. If she had allowed herself to see what everyone else saw, that Graysen now detested her, then she could not have been so easily lured. But last night she hadn’t wanted to accept that his affection could be anything but true. Even now a part of her brain defended him, reminding her that Graysen had been the one to lead her to the cauldron, is was the cauldron acting alone. She felt an internal embarrassment for continuing to defend Graysen to herself, that she allowed her stupid heart to create some hope that wasn’t there. She was pathetic.
Everyone in her village had grown up hearing terrifying stories of the Fae above the wall. She had always believed them to have godlike strength. Nothing could, or would, break them. Often she envied them. She was always the meekest of her sisters. Everyone assumed she lacked an opinion on anything, just doing whatever her sisters, mostly Nesta, wanted. In reality she lacked confidence in herself, she always told herself that letting her sisters lead made them happy, why should she push back. But she could imagine herself gaining everyone’s respect by becoming Fae or revealing some secret magic. Now, that secret dream made her feel even more pathetic. She had become Fae and had gained no one’s respect. She was still told what to do more often than she was asked her opinion. The lack of any transformation into the strong female she had imagined she truly was only added to her shame. No, even as Fae she was pathetic and boring. Perhaps Graysen had tired of her before her transformation, he just now had an easy excuse to end their engagement.
How many times did she need to suffer embarrassment in front of these people she barely knew? Starting with Graysen making the very public proclamation that he did not want her. Then, she made herself a further fool by wandering off and getting herself captured. In some ways it would’ve been easier if she had died in captivity. Then she could have been spared everyone’s pity that was so palpable she could almost see it hovering over them as they looked at her. But no, because of her stupidity she had to be rescued forcing Feyre and Azriel to risk their lives to save her.
Azriel.
Although now she thought very courageously about her death she had to acknowledge that that had been a very real fear just a few hours ago. She would swear she felt the world shift when she saw Azriel appear in the tent in Hybern’s camp. She had never felt relief like that. His presence had a way of making her feel like the person she imagined herself to be, certain, fearless. He looked at her as if he knew her. Well maybe not her, not the her that everyone saw, but the her she wanted to be, the heroine in her daydreams.
She exhaled loudly and rolled over, trying again to fall asleep. Mother, she was pathetic, creating some romantic scenario in her head where Azriel was the one person who saw her. He was probably the angriest with her. He suffered the most injuries attempting to rescue her. Would he resent the fact that he was injured before the battles had even begun? All because Elain couldn’t let go of her fiancé. What if Azriel’s injuries hindered him in the battle? What if because of Elain’s rescue he couldn’t fight as well and he …
Elain sat up quickly.
No she couldn’t think this way. She would have to speak to him, ensure he was fully healed before he could be allowed to fight. Surely the others had thought of this but if they hadn’t, she wouldn’t allow that to happen, couldn’t allow it. If there was a time for Elain to speak up it would be now. Well not now, not in the middle of the night with everyone sleeping, but now in there proverbial sense. Would he be angry with her if she was the reason he couldn’t fight? It didn’t matter. She was sure he was angry with her anyways.
Maybe that was why she couldn’t sleep.
She slowly pulled back her blankets and set her feet on the ground. Keeping her eyes on Nesta the whole time, making sure she didn’t stir. She pulled a blanket off her bed and wrapped it around herself as she moved towards the entrance of her tent. A part of her brain was warning this was a very bad idea. If she was worried about everyone being mad at her then she should definitely not make it worse by wandering the camp at night. Again. But another part of her brain, likely the sleep deprived part, was urging her on. Telling her a conversation with Azriel was the only way she would be able to calm down and get any sleep. She slowly pulled back the tent flaps and, with one more glance at Nesta, Elain slipped out.
She was almost positive Azriel’s tent was to the left of theirs and Cassian’s to the right. Too soon she and began to doubt herself. Was he sharing a tent with Cassian? Or Mor? Possibly even both. This was a bad idea. She couldn’t even knock and announce herself because how did you knock on a tent. She would just need to go right in.
She began to turn back to her own tent suddenly Azriel was there at the opening, catching her off guard and leaving her standing there speechless, like an idiot.
“Elain?” Azriel seemed to exhale her name after a few seconds of silence.
“How did you know I was here?” A perfectly appropriate greeting.
“My shadows. They patrol while I sleep. They told me you were outside my tent but I didn’t … are you okay?” Azriel’s eyes narrowed as he ran his gaze over her, looking for a source of harm.
“Yes. I’m okay. I just … I wanted to see you. To apologize.” Azriel gave her a look of surprise as a wind whipped through the camp causing Elain to pull the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
“Come in. Please.” Azriel quickly opened the tent further and stepped to the side so that Elain could get out of the cold.
At first his tent seemed smaller than hers, but she saw that was due to the amount of things he had inside. Not that he was messy, but he had a desk covered in neat piles of paperwork. Armor on a dummy in the corner and an impressive display of knives lied out on a small table top. A fire burned near the middle of the tent, immediately warming Elain as the tent flaps closed.
“Are you okay?” Azriel asked again.
Elain turned away from his things scattered throughout the tent to look at him. “Yes. I promise you I am okay. I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to … I hope I didn’t wake you. Were you asleep?”
“No I wasn’t asleep. I was reading.” He motioned to his desk of papers and Elain caught him wince as he lifted his arm.
“Please sit down. I’m sorry I made you get up. Are you okay?” Everything came out in a rush. Gods. What was she thinking coming here and bothering him in the middle of the night. She touched his arm, gently guided him to a chair and sitting herself down across from him.
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.” She noticed how he slowly lowered himself into the chair.
“You’re not okay you’re hurt.” Elain reached to touch his bandage before catching herself, leaving her hand hovering between them. “Is there anything I can get you? Maybe some tea?”
“I’m fine. You don’t have to get me anything.”
“Please. I would like to help.”
Azriel paused, ready to repeat his no, before seeing that accepting the tea from Elain would help her more than himself.
“Some tea would be great. Thank you.”
Elain busied herself bringing water to a boil over the fire and, after Azriel’s shadows brought her the dried tea leaves, making a pot for the two of them.
“Cups?”
“Over there. There are drawers under the table with the knives. They should be in there.”
“Thank you.” She located the cups as the tea steeped in the pot. As she poured the tea she realized how calm her body not felt. Perhaps she shouldn’t have come here. She suddenly felt exhausted and very ready to sleep.
“Here.” She set Azriel’s cup on the table in front of him. She blew on her own and began to take a sip before thinking better of it and setting it down. Finally, with nothing else to busy herself with, she looked at Azriel. He was already looking at her.
She wasn’t sure where to start.
“I’m sorry.” She decided to lead with the phrase she couldn’t stop repeating. “My foolishness put Feyre and you in danger. I will never forget myself for that.”
Azriel closed his eyes, as if steeling himself for what he was about to say. “You have nothing to apologize for. It isn’t your fault the Cauldron tricked you.”
“If I hadn’t been such a fool about Graysen it wouldn’t have been able to trick me so easily.”
Azriel shook his head. “It is not foolish to believe the best about the person you love.”
Elain grimaced. “I don’t love him.”
“You don’t?” He responded, slightly tilting his head to the side.
“Well,” she blushed. “Perhaps a part of me does but no … not anymore. I see the situation for how it is. How everyone else sees it.”
Something in that statement made Azriel pause. He looked away from her, as if considering something. “Does it matter how everyone sees it?”
“A few weeks, even days ago I would have said no. It only matters what we, or I, felt but …” She gestured in a direction that she believed was south. “Before today I thought everyone was wrong and didn’t understand what we had. Now it appears I was the only one wrong. When the majority of the people in your life disagree with you, at some point you have to admit it’s probably you who’s wrong. Don’t you?”
Azriel didn’t say anything from a few seconds, continuing to stare at something on the ground, before responding. “That logic makes sense.”
They lapsed into a brief silence where Elain attempted to drink her tea again. This time only slightly burning her tongue before turning back to her next question for Azriel.
“How bad are your injuries?”
“They are fine.”
“I could see you grimacing as you sat down. Please Azriel, be honest with me.”
He raised his head when she said his name and met her eyes. “They are bad, but I have had worse. Rhys, however, has already implied that he doesn’t want me in the battle if it starts tomorrow.”
Elain started to apologize again but he waved her off.
“It’s fine. I don’t plan to listen to him. I will be fine.”
That caused her to gasp. “You cannot fight tomorrow. Not if it’s not safe.”
He offered her a grim smile. “I don’t think battles are ever considered safe.”
Elain did not return the smile. “You know what I mean. You are already injured from rescuing me. You’re already vulnerable. If you were to hurt yourself more, I couldn’t…” She trailed off, not being sure what it was she “couldn’t”.
“I will be fine. I have seen many battles and survived.”
She felt her anger grow, both with herself and his casualness. “You shouldn’t have rescued me. You are more valuable than me. Your life means more than mine.”
His grim smile quickly changed to something close to a glare. “My life means nothing compared to yours.”
Instinctually she reached out to touch his arm, wanting to offer him comfort in any way she could. “How could you say…” But when her arm touched his she was too overwhelmed with images to speak.
They reminded her of the dreams she had been having. Ever since she was Made every night she dreamed like she never had before. Dreams that were as vivid as Feyre’s paintings. Sometimes that how they started. She would be looking at one of Feyre’s paintings and not realize she was dream until it came to life or pulled her into it. Some of the dreams were filled with light, the warmth of the sun, the feeling of a new day. Some filled with shadows and whispers, hidden objects that she could never find clearly.
Surprisingly the dreams of the sun were the ones that preceded her worse days. Days filled with anxiety and unease that made her long to go back to sleep but also made her afraid to. These are the days she spent her time in the garden. Dedicating complete focus to her plants and flowers, working through meal times and until the night was so dark she could no longer see the roots. It wasn’t until day turned to night that her heart stopped racing.
But now she was sure she was not asleep. She could feel Azriel’s arm and hear the crackling of the fire in his tent. Smell a combination of musk and sweat that she noticed whenever he was close. But what she saw was out of place with the war time tent.
Golden, barely-there sunlight coming in through the windows. Another fire in a different hearth. Windows left open, light grey curtains blowing in the breeze. A garden could be glimpsed through the windows full of red roses. A soft moan that sounded vaguely familiar. Was it her own? She looked around to see white sheets were gripped in her hands. She felt a heat climbing through her body starting at her core. She felt something between her legs. She moved her gaze down her body. Heavy breathing moved her peaked breasts up and down as she tried to find air. Scarred hands on her hips. A head of dark hair between her legs. Another moan. She couldn’t help but move her hips in time with his tongue.
Her dreams had never felt this real.
“Elain?” She heard someone call her name, but she wasn’t sure who. She could still feel a tongue moving between her legs, bringing her to the edge of something she had never felt before. Her body began to shake at the feeling, getting closer and closer to a feeling that wasn’t familiar with but was desperate for.
Then her body was truly being shaken.
“Elain!’
Her eyes fluttered. Had she closed them? She tried to focus on why she was shaking.
“Elain? Are you okay?” The scarred hands were no longer on her hips but on her arms. Holding her firmly, shaking her gently. Azriel’s head was no longer between her legs but looking her earnestly in the eyes.
“I … yes. I think. I’m okay.”
“Did you have another vision?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“Have you been having many?”
“I’m not sure. I have dreams every night, but I’m not sure if they are visions. They aren’t like this.” She motioned to the air as Azriel lowered his hands.
“What was this one of?”
She hesitated.
“Even if it doesn’t make sense it may be important, for the war.”
“It was of us.” She couldn’t help but answer.
Azriel gave a brief pause, concentrating on keeping his face neutral. “Who do you mean by ‘us’? You and me?”
Elain nodded.
“What were we doing?”
A description of the images flowed out of her. “We were in a house, I’m not sure where. It was peaceful and beautiful. There was a garden outside. We were in bed.” She could feel a blush creeping up her chest to her cheeks. Why did she answer his question. She could have deflected. She must not be fully awake.
Azriel’s cheeks began to blush as he sat up straighter. “Oh. And what were we doing in bed?”
Was it a repercussion of the visions that they had to be spoken whether she willed it or not?
“We … your head was between my legs and you were…”
Azriel stood up suddenly, effectively cutting her off. “I got it Elain. Thank you.” He quickly walked over to the fire and angled himself away from her.
After a few moments of taut silence Elain braced herself and stood. “I don’t know why I said all that. I’m sorry I’ve made things uncomfortable for you. I will go now. I’m glad you’re okay.”
But before she could make it more than a few steps Azriel was behind her. Placing his hand gently on her arm, quickly dropping it as she turned around to face him.
“It’s okay. I know what it’s like being a seer. Some visions must be spoken.”
Elain raised her eyebrows. “Are you a …”
“No.” Azriel cut her off. “But my mother is, I know what it’s like.”
“Did all of her visions come true?” Elain asked, pink staining her cheeks again.
“I cannot remember if all of them did, but I believe most. Although, not often in the way she suspected.”
“Oh.” Elain breathed. The air filling with tension and words left unsaid, until Elain had to say something.
“I would not be upset, if this one came true.” She surprised herself speaking so boldly, but she supposed the vision of the possible future gave her courage that her feelings would be reciprocated.
“Elain.” Azriel repeated her name in a rough tone she hadn’t heard him speak before.
She wasn’t sure who moved first.
His scarred hands were on either side of her cheek, pulling her towards him.
Her hands found his shoulder blades, pulling him to her.
A few touches they had shared before. His hand on her elbow. Her hand on his shoulder. Their fingers brushing. Always they had been gentle, reverent even.
This time their lips clashed. A different kind of reverence, as if their bodies were made to worship one another’s.
The line between sin and sanctification had never been so thin.
With Graysen Elain had been always been demure, unsure of herself. She had rarely felt much pleasure of her own and had the vague impression that he didn’t expect her to have any.
With Azriel she felt uninhibited, she could be herself with him. Elain Archeron, the naive, mortal girl and Elain Archeron, the high fae, the seer. Either way Azriel knew her and accepted her. It drove her confidence now.
Her hands moved to his chest, broad and firm. She had been held against it many times when he winnowed her, but she would never forget how it felt earlier today when he rescued her from Hybern’s camp. Now she allowed herself to give into the temptation she had felt so many times before and ran her hands over it. Unbuttoning the top of his tunic.
His tongue ran across the seam of her lips, urging her to open them for him. She did so eagerly and when their tongues met they both exhaled quiet moans. His hands moved down her hips, over her ass, gently squeezing before moving further down to the backs of her thighs. He bent slightly to get a hold of them and life her up. Pulling her closer to himself, so that their bodies were perfectly aligned. Her hands moved from his chest to circle his neck, one hand threading through his hair.
She felt his pause. His uncertainty in what she wanted next. She pulled his mouth away from his only far enough to speak. “Take me to bed.” Azriel emitted a louder groan before moving his mouth back to hers as if to claim her. After a few steps he was gently lowering her to the bed before positioning himself on his elbows above her, ensuring no weight was put on her. But she didn’t want to be treated so gently. She wasn’t afraid of the weight of him, of this. She pulled his neck down towards her as she lifted her hips up to his. Her body responding on it’s own.
Azriel shifted to one elbow so that he could move a hand to her cheek, gently, down to her neck. His hand circled her neck and he squeezed, lightly. Now it was Elain’s turn the moan, the idea of being at his mercy making her come undone. He squeezed harder before releasing and moving his hand down her body, pushing down her loose nightgown until her breasts were exposed. He broke their kiss to look at them.
“Gods.” He muttered before moving his mouth to her neck. Kissing and nipping until he reached her breasts. She arched her back, begging him to take them into his mouth. He looked up at her as his mouth hovered over her right nipple. His breath causing it to tighten, nearing pain. He kept eye contact as his tongue darted out. Barely licking the peak. Elain trembled and moaned his name.
“Azriel.”
It was his undoing. His mouth covering her nipple, a hand moving to the other. He sucked and bit until she couldn’t stop writhing beneath him, then he moved to her other breast and repeated his worshipping. She felt ready to explode from the feeling on her breasts alone, not to mention the hard length she could feel through his pants when she rubbed against every time his teeth closed around her nipple and she couldn’t help but rub against him.
“Take off your clothes.” She managed between breaths. She knew she was shaking too much to manage removing them herself, not to mention she wasn’t sure how to remove them from his wings.
He removed his mouth from her breast and lifted his head up so that he could look down on her and meet her eyes. He paused, as if he wanted to capture the moment like he was afraid that when he moved to take off her clothes she would suddenly disappear. She gently placed her hand on his cheek, hoping to offer reassurance through her touch. He lowered his head to place a gentle kiss on her lips but raising himself to stand at the end of the bed.
He made quick work of his clothes and she pushed her own night gown the rest of the way off her body. The soft blues of her gown melting into the dark greys of his clothes at the end of the bed. She barely had an opportunity to take in his hard length, standing straight at attention.
Then he was on her again. Without the barrier of clothes every inch of their skin is touching. Elain had never felt so alive. Like her skinning is on fire and freezing at the same time. Every inch of her taut and screaming for more of Azriel. In any way. In all ways.
He leaned forward to leave another kiss on her lips before moving down her body, leaving a trail of kisses between her breasts, her stomach, above her sex. When he was between her legs he looked up at her. “Is this what you saw in your vision?” He didn’t wait for her reply before his mouth was on her. He wasted no time kissing her legs, her thighs. Suddenly his lips and his tongue were between her legs, her sex, exploring her, feasting on all her. “Gods Elain.” Azriel moaned into her, causing her to write more. “What do I taste like?” She had to ask, had always been curious. Her question caused Azriel to moan again, she felt the vibrations in her core. His tongue dove into her, as if he was trying to distinguish her taste. “Sugar.” She laughed gently at his general assessment. Something, anything, sweet. She wondered how he would taste.
His tongue was unrelenting. Licking her up and down. Moving between her folds. Pushing into her. There wasn’t a spot of skin between her legs that his tongue didn’t touch. Over and over. Her hands moved to his hair, gripping it hard enough that she was sure he must be in pain. But he didn’t relented. She couldn’t help as her hips began moving on his mouth, riding his tongue. He brought one of his hands to her ass, helping to lift herself onto him. She didn’t spare a thought for the fact that they were only in a tent, did not stifle her shouts with the fear of being overheard. She became overwhelmed with the feeling that she was about the explode. Her body barreled towards some kind of release, but there was some a part of her mind that seemed to hesitate, fearing there was something she wasn’t doing right, that her sounds were too loud or her writhing too much.
As if sensing her hesitation Azriel moved his hand from her ass to her clit, rubbing it while his tongue moved inside her.
She saw stars.
Her hips bucking into him as he helped her ride out her orgasm. He continued to lick and suck her until she had all but stopped moving. Once he saw that she was exhausted he left one chaste kiss on her before moving back up her body until they were eye to eye. They held their eye contact until Elain lifted herself up to kiss him on the mouth, tasting herself as she did. “You’re right, like sugar.” She offered, surprised that her own voice was deeper and scratchier than usual. Hopefully that wasn’t an indication of how much she had been screaming.
Her declaration pulled another groan from Azriel as he moved to kiss her more deeply. After a few tangles with their tongues she pulled away, bringing her palm to rest on his cheek. “I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Never?” He asked with a slight raise of his eyebrows.
She laughed softly. “No. Never.”
He kissed her again, at first gently, before she was lifting herself to deepen the kiss. To take more of him in. She wasn’t done devouring him, having him. Tension began to find it’s way back into her body, her veins. The satiated bliss she felt just moments ago being replaced with the need for more. One hand remained on the back of Azriel’s neck, gently holding his mouth to hers while her other moved down his body. Over the planes of his broad chest, down to his solid stomach, further down until she could feel course hairs and then her hand found what she had been looking for, had been so curious about. The touch of her hand caused Azriel to hiss.
“Are you okay?” She began to feel embarrassed that her inexperience had somehow hurt him. She and Graysen had had sex yes, but there was no extra touching aside from what was needed. She had been content with what it was, but the orgasm Azriel had already given shattered all illusions of satisfaction she had had with Graysen. She now knew how much she had been missing.
Azriel moved his hips so that his hard length was again touching her hand. “With you I am always okay.”
Her lips turned up in a smile as she kissed him again, capturing his moans with her mouth and she touched his length with her fingers, her hands. Running them up and down him. Marveling at how hard he was, with skin smooth as silk. She wrapped her hand around as much of him as she could and squeezed, pulling another moan out of Azriel. He bucked into her hand once, twice. “Fuck Elain. Fuck.” He moved his mouth to her neck and bit down on the skin between her neck and shoulder, causing her to gasp as the pain and squeeze him harder.
Suddenly he was pulling her hand away from him. “If you keep doing that I’m going to explode.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” She went to move her hand back to him, but he caught her wrist.
“It just depends on what you want.” Azriel didn’t make it a question, not wanting to push her in any direction she didn’t want to go. He wanted to be sure it was completely her decision, her call.
“I want this. I want you.” She had felt that draw towards him, that longing, ever since he first showed up at her father’s estate. Cassian had been the Illyrian who had caused her paused, caused her palms to sweat and her legs to tremble with fear at his presence. But upon seeing Azriel in the doorway she had felt a calm wash over her and had somehow known that if Azriel was with Cassian, then she had nothing to fear.
“Have you ever?”
“Yes. With … yes I have.” She didn’t want to ruin this by speaking Graysen’s name. She didn’t want any thoughts of him in her mind ever, much less in this moment.
Azriel nodded, understanding, before lowering himself, lining himself up with her.
“Stop me if it hurts.” She nodded but he before he moved he looked her in the eyes and repeated himself. “Ask me to stop.”
“You won’t hurt me in any way I don’t want you to.”
He kissed her as he pushed into her, slowly, only a inch but still causing her to gasp. He pulled out slightly before pushing in further. Her gasps mingling with his moans. On the next push her eyes fluttered close, a pain mixing with the pleasure. He moved his left hand to where they were joined, his right staying by her head where is elbow was propped. He moved his thumb between her legs, above where they were joined, he rubbed her until she began moving on him, arching into him, wanting more.
Then he gave her more.
He pulled out nearly all of the way before sheathing himself inside her fully. Pushing her legs wider to accompany his hips. Her hips arching up further to meet his as she let out a loud moan. When he had allowed himself to picture this with Elain he had imagined going slowly. It was an image he had tried to stop himself from thinking but one what often came to him in the time between waking and dreams, when he didn’t have full control of his consciousness. But now that he was inside her, her perfect tightness surrounding him, all rational thoughts were gone and every instinct he had took over. He kept himself from unleashing completely, but only barely.
He squeezed her breast as he moved inside her. She pulled his hair. The sounds coming from her mouth were better than anything he could have imagined. No matter how much he wanted this to last all night he knew he would not last much longer. He raised one of her legs slightly, so that he could push deeper into to her and also be closer to her. He kissed her mouth, her jaw, her neck. Grazing his teeth down to her pulse point, he bit down, claiming her in all the ways he knew how.
The sudden pain of his bite mixing with the wild pleasure she felt every time he reached a spot deeper inside her pushed her over the edge. She clenched around him, bucking wildly to ride out that final explosion of pleasure, moaning her first coherent words.
“Azriel.”
The feeling of her coming around him, the sound of her moaning his name, brought Azriel over his own the edge. He spilled himself inside her, glad for her clenching walls milking him till he was thoroughly spent.
He stayed on top of her after, catching his breath. Hearing her labored breathing in his ear, feeling her breaths gently moving his hair. He gently kissed her cheek, ending their passionate fucking with something so sweet she struggled to catch her breath.
Then he moved, pulling himself out her. She groaned at the absence of him. He got up and walked over to his wash basin. Dipping a cloth into the water before returning to her and gently wiping her between her legs. After he was finished he tossed the cloth back towards the bin. It landed on the floor near by and he didn’t bother picking it up. Instead he turned back towards her, taking her in as she lay bare in his bed, starting at her toes and ending with her eyes, as if committing her to memory. Then he brought his hand to his face, as if wiping at the shadow of hair covering his jaw. Finally he sighed, seeming to reach some internal decision, and picked up her nightgown from the floor and holding it out to her.
She frowned as she took it from him, hoping that he would lie down next to her instead.
But he caught her disappointment, as he seemed to catch all of the emotions written on her face.
“I don’t want you to leave. Never that. But if Nesta wake and you aren’t there, there would be hell to pay.”
She smiled at that truth. “Do you think I can get in without waking her?”
“I will put you in your bed with my shadows. She will never know.”
Elain pulled on her nightgown and picked up the blanket she had wrapped herself in to come to his tent before turning to face him.
For a moment they both looked at each other. Trying to read each other.
Finally Azriel broke the silence.
“Was that like your vision?”
She blushed. “Yes. Well. It was similar but we weren’t in this tent, we were somewhere else and I didn’t see us do everything.”
He offered one of his rare smiles. “Good. So we don’t have to be worried this was the last time.”
“No.” She agreed, returning his smile. “We certainly don’t need to worry about that.”
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thesunshinebunny · 3 years
Text
When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part V)
Series Master list
pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader
content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)
summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?
Chapter summary: Eren and reader meet face to face and are determined to put an end to the tension that has been building around them since Eren returned from Marley.
Word Count: 7.9k 
The light wind blew the few leaves that had fallen from the trees around me at the same time that it generated a slight comfort, as if the same wind was hugging me and holding me between its countenance. The branches moved to the beat of it sweet music and danced a slow tango around two figures ready to end the other. We were both facing each other, each positioned perfectly and vertically above the other's line of sight, only a few steps separated, perhaps two meters apart, but still the difference wasn’t an obstacle to inspect each other.
Eren standed stiffly on the muddy floor, a position that was becoming a habit lately every time he was about to confront someone, either with words or with blows. His shoes were dirty and torn, some small holes showed through the cloth. Strands of hair fell on his forehead and some were stuck to the skin due to the mud and earth that the footsteps threw into the air. His eyes...just as empty of any light and life that might exist.
His jaw was clenched as well as one of his fists, I didn't find any sign his hand was hurt or his palm was bleeding and dropping a few drops to the floor, so I assumed it wasn’t in his plans to transform here and now. But that didn’t mean that I could be calm.
As for me, surely Eren was looking at me the same way a wolf looks at a little sheep or a poor dwarf white rabbit, one of the most defenseless animals in the food chain. Apparently I was the meal and it was time for lunch. But I was very sure that Eren hadn’t limited himself to looking at me with that horrible analogy, he’d surely noticed my torn and bloody clothes, as well as dirty with mud and some other things that I wanted not to investigate or put my nose in them. He had probably also noticed the multiple scratches on the skin of my arms and on my face, wounds already dry and in the process of healing thanks to the sweat from adrenaline and the race through the forest made in a few minutes. He had probably noticed little strands sticking to the crook of my neck and cold sweat dripping down my spine.
I don't doubt he surely noticed the fire burning in my eyes, my gaze radiating determination, a determination to get out of this place as unscathed as possible and find a way to fix this whole damn situation. He would have noticed how my figure was a reflection of his, I wouldn’t move if he didn’t move, I wouldn’t stop squeezing a finger if I didn’t see he stopped squeezing his. It was like being on the other side of a mirror, copying each and every one of the other's movements.
"So ... wanna make the first move?" My breathing was ragged, however neutral my face might be. Inside I was afraid, I was always afraid, it was a normal feeling and sensation. I was already used to feeling this unconditional fear when going out into the world.
The wind blew around us again, it was like a sweet melody cradling my ears, it was like feeling a hand caressing my battered face, a caress that I hadn't felt for a long time. If the moment had been different, it would have taken me some time to close my eyes and enjoy the breeze. If I did that right now, I would end up badly beaten and dejected, perhaps dead as well.
The breeze was dancing for a few seconds and stopped short, as if the world and time itself had stopped, only the two of us were able to move and yet neither did. Everything around us was silent, not the chirping of a cricket or the footsteps of an animal could be heard. Neither did any footsteps or voices from the other Jaegeristas, completely ignoring their locations, while ignoring the whereabouts of my beloved horse. It was just me and Eren in this little airless bubble.
Seconds of silence and in an instant Eren stepped forward and instinctively I stepped back, letting my left foot hold much of my weight on this. I was leaning back with the possibility of running if necessary, but knowing Eren I would only run a couple of meters before having him on my back and holding me like we’re playing hide and seek. My hands were raised to my torso, palms facing the ground and in position to become fists or grab something, whatever was out of the trees to counter or defend myself.
It wasn’t a position that I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with, was like reliving the old days as cadets in training, each one trying to search for the opponent's strengths and weaknesses, evaluating the chances of attack and their effectiveness. It really was like self-defense practices, practices that Eren put so much effort and determination into. I used to watch him from afar when my partner ended up on the ground given the multiple blows to the stomach that I had so proudly learned from my father. I used to see his frustrated face when Annie managed to knock him down with a simple leg movement or when Reiner was too abrupt to the point of knocking him to the ground from his high height. And yet, no matter how many blows and humiliations the poor boy felt when practicing self-defense, he never stopped fighting and asking for more blows, as if violence and physical damage were his only form of training. Already in the first practices I knew he was completely crazy, that he had something bad in the head, but his determination and that sparkle in his eyes when he got angry at losing, in the same way that a small child gets angry when they don’t have what they wants, was what caught my attention the most.
I used to fight him repeatedly in these same practices, being positioned in the same places we are now, one of us with a flabby wooden knife, but capable of doing a lot of damage if we didn’t use it properly. I was already used to the agile movements that I could perform with a simple kitchen and hunting knife, living much of my lifetime in the middle of a small town lost in the woods. I was used to defending myself and attacking animals with little rational intelligence, which made them much more dangerous than a simple human. I was equally used to dodging punches, and punches, able to redirect them and hit the weakest points of my prey. But I wasn't used to the low blows this boy was capable of. I always had to cover my back because I didn't know when he was going to jump on me and throw me to the ground, like the first time I knocked him down with a blow to the chin and when I was about to change partners, he grabbed my back and neck to throw myself on the floor and make me eat dirt. I didn't know if even throwing him to the ground multiple times he would go against my leg and bend it, hitting my head not only against the floor but also against his shoulder. I didn't know when he would apply the same technique Annie had taught him weeks ago. Unarmed or with a damn wooden knife Eren was dangerous because he was willing to keep fighting, even if he was going to fight dirty, without rules or codes.
I have faced him multiple times throughout the three years of training and in each confrontation there was something new that surprised us both, be it his various angry movements or my simple stances and punches capable of stopping the fight in any way. And that same uncertainty was also reflected in the times we went out to fight with what, at that time, we thought were simple and common titans, unable to deduce the actions of the other, evading death many more times than we could count.
And all that uncertainty and determination on the battlefield started with simple training with the wooden knife. A wooden knife.
A knife.
I withdrew my hand from in front of me and with great care I directed it towards the back pocket of my pants, without stopping looking at Eren who had taken advantage while I wandered in my imagination to approach and settle half the distance that separated us. When my hand reached the pocket, I stuck my thumb and forefinger inside it, grasping a small doctor's knife which I apparently had unconsciously put away in the morning when I finished treating my last patient. I secured it tightly and kept my hand behind my back until Eren again took a big step towards me and, in a protective movement, I positioned the knife in attack mode, eye level, as if was a real fight knife.
"Well that's not very fair-"
With a clean flick of the wrist the small knife rested on my thumb and forefinger and I tossed it to the side, striking perfectly even on the bark of a tree. It had been nailed cleanly and the sound it generated on impact gave certainty that it would be difficult to get it out of that place. Eren never moved from where he was, he simply followed the movements of my hand and at the moment of impact he inspected the cut on the bark before turning his gaze to me.
“I am unarmed… without weapons, without my movement gear, just my bare hands. But it still wouldn't be a fair fight, would it?"
In the four years that we were officially in the legion, at no point had we taken a day to practice our close combat as we did before. You could say that our fighting days were over on the night of our graduation. Although those days were behind us, I was completely sure he had never stopped training, he would continue to launch those unpredictable movements at any moment, let alone his unnatural power.
"You have your titan powers and each hit that hits you will heal, instead I will continue to bleed and spend days with a black eye and broken bones, if that is the case"
I saw what his fists could do to someone like Armin and what they had done to my neck and nose, if this fight went on longer than it should or turned in a bad movement, my body was going to end much worse than it already was; I was even beginning to think that maybe Eren would go as far as turning into a titan and crushing me once and for all. I had to be careful and hoped luck was on my side to make it out alive a second time.
“Come on, let's finish it once and for all” In position and waiting for the first hit, this is how they taught us and this is how I would be mentally prepared from now on, until the moment of my death, even if it were in a few minutes.
He was the first to cut the distance between us, raising his fist to my face. His knuckles slammed into my arm, propelling it toward the contour of my face by the wave and force of the impact. His other fist tried to hit the pit of my stomach, but I could catch his movement and block him with my other arm, hitting him to no effect with the bone. I raised my left leg to hit him on the ribs, but like me, Eren was faster and dodged just in time, avoiding my foot and moved it to the side. As I touched the ground again, I raised my leg again and this time I managed to hit him on the hip, propelling him forward and hitting his body again, this time with my right knee on his face.
His body didn’t move from where he had fallen to the floor, sensing that my blow hadn’t been strong enough to unbalance him, but to mislead him for a second. His face was thrown back by the impact of my knee and I hit him again in the same way, this time right in the center of the face, right on the septum and the mouth. My hand lunged for his hair, grabbing his already disheveled manbun and pushing his head back, my other hand was about to hit right in the neck area, but before I could even put my fingertips on him, his fingers closed tightly on my wrist and twisted it outward, drawing an uncomfortable groan from my throat.
His other fist managed to make a hook towards my chin causing me to loose the grip on the manbun, my legs were unbalanced and I felt blood spurt into my mouth, and one of his feet rose high enough to hit me in the chest and pull me towards him. back and hitting the head squarely against the hard dirt floor. Eren wasted no time and took a short leap towards my figure and placed his hands on my neck for the third time that day. It was like reliving the restaurant scene, me on the floor and him finding a way to position himself on me and immobilize me.
"God, what about you and your choke kink?" With my throat so battered in such a short time, I could barely speak and what I managed to get out was nothing more than hoarse and breathy moans, as if my voice was breaking little by little.
Both of my hands went straight under his armpits holding them in the shape of a sword and digging the bony ends into his weak skin. His arms loosened, giving me the chance to elbow him on the back of his neck and push him away from my body. I put my hands on the ground and got back to my feet with my arms and legs now muddy and dirty, but what was my intention to put myself on guard ended up turning into a new face fall down to the floor, having one of his legs hooked on my knee and making any escape movement impossible. I hit him hard with my free leg on the knee that was hooking me, managing to displace it and perhaps break it on the spot given the creaking sound that echoed through the bark of the trees. With my leg released, I turned around and now that same leg was on his broken knee, applying pressure to the floor, and my other leg took a moment to impact right on his face. His body was now flat on the floor and I positioned myself on top of him without wasting time, pulling his arm back and hitting his ribs with the elbow of my free arm. One, two, three blows, until I felt an impulse bring my body back to the floor as well as a blow on my left cheekbone. I hadn't seen his fist come to my face when he lunged against my body to get me off.
His knee hit me in the pit of my stomach, curling into a fetal position and his fist slammed again into my cheekbone. I tried to scratch his arm the same way I did with his face hours ago, but I failed miserably, as if the pain of the flesh peeling off his skin didn't affect him at all. So I hit his knee with mine, moving him off my stomach, driving him to the ground, and back hitting him on the ribs. Eren lifted his body for a moment to avoid taking any more impacts and gave me enough time to place my legs under his chest and stretch them towards and send him flying against the tree behind him.
Now I could easily stand up, but the pain in my stomach made it difficult for me to breathe and to be able to stand firmly on the ground. I took quick strides towards his body and when my foot was about to hit his face, Eren wiped away a considerably thick branch from the ground and struck my face with the tip, impacting the leaves and small branches on my wounds and throwing me to the ground from the burning. I was in four against a tree, behind me I heard how the dry leaves crunched under Eren's feet and how he was getting up to jump on my back; But this time, I was faster and managed to turn around to hit my leg on his neck for a good time and throw him again towards a crooked tree on our side, hitting his neck against the bark and tearing the skin with friction. From where I was lying I could see blood coming out of his neck, it seems he had torn the jugular area and was bleeding. I could also see the pain on his face and how his body was getting rid of the tension that the fight had caused.
We were both gasping for air, at the moment neither of us could take it anymore and both bodies were asking for a limit, but I knew it was a matter of time before Eren fully recovered and a new fight would take place again. If there was a moment to act, this was perfect. I tried to get up, but my back didn’t give in to my directions and I was thrown back to the floor. My eyes were fixed on the tops of the trees, which let a few rays of the sun slip into our little forest bubble. The sight was almost angelic, if it weren't for the multiple blows that were burning like a bonfire. I saw how some leaves fell slightly accompanied by the wind which had blown again when our fight ended. I felt physical and mental relief as I listened as the smoke rose from Eren's skin, quickly healing his wounds, but still suffering from the bleeding in his neck. My vision began to blur, nothing that was in front of me was seen clearly and I was afraid I was about to faint.
Ahead of me I began to see a familiar sight, quite familiar indeed; the training days, Eren and me in our younger years. I saw us in one of our first confrontations, being completely dirty from the sandy earth but still standing on our two feet, our eyes like daggers about to be thrown at our opponent. Each one prepared to deliver what seemed like the last blow and define the confrontation before ending the day and heading off to the canteen for dinner, ready to define our fifth confrontation with hatred for the other in the veins. Eren, as not, was the first to approach and to be dodged by a young me and give him a poor punch in the face. He complained about the impact, backing off for the next instant to pounce on my shoulder and hook me on the knee to finally throw me sideways to the ground for the fourth time in that three-hour workout. I groaned in pain and grabbed onto my shoulder, injured and battered from so many blows. I stretched out on the floor, in the same way that presumably I was now and I stared at the orange sky, observing how little by little the sun was setting on the horizon and fine dark blue lines welcomed the night.
"Ha, how many times have I beat you today?" his voice and breathing were ragged but still I could tell the false vanity and self-centeredness in his words. He had hunched over his knees resting his tangled hands on them and brought his face closer to mine, covering my beautiful sight and replacing it with his horrible green eyes. I fixed my gaze on his damn crooked smile, the same one he gave to any asshole he had the guts to challenge and finish. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at him and in less than a second I moved my leg over his, hitting his balance and causing him to fall headlong to the floor, hitting the side of his temple. The blow echoed across the ground, earning laughter from some of our friends and whispers around us. I didn't stop to listen to what stupid people might be saying about what had just happened, but stood up heavily, still having a semi air of victory over my body, I wiped my hands on my pants, which deserved a full-fledged clean, and I ducked down to his figure on the floor.
"Not so bad for a country one, huh?" and with that I turned and walked towards the canteen, hoping to be in time before Sasha ate my slice of bread like most nights.
Back at my self lying on the muddy, doughy ground, my breathing come back to normal before my vision returned to having the leaves of the trees in sharp focus. I felt a great heaviness on my body and at the same time I felt like a feather, as if I was experiencing an out-of-body episode ... or was simply rambling. I got up in the same way as in that wonderful memory which for some strange reason happened to appear in my consciousness, and I leaned back on a tree before compiling myself and dragging my feet on the leaves.
"That’s it, I’m done" To be honest, I couldn’t do this anymore. To be honest, I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth and reincarnate in another life, many years in the future. To be honest, my sanity couldn't keep fighting anymore, but I was too cowardly to take my own life. I was tired, not only tired of fighting, but tired of this damn world that the only thing that achieved was to put us in a circle of hatred and anger between each other.
I took a few more steps towards some side of the forest, knowing that I had no idea where I was going, if it was the same side I came from or another completely different, heading right towards the hands of the Jaegeristas. Likewise, if they caught me, they would take me to the others. Would it have been worth it to have escaped from the beginning? Surely not, but I was praying with my few walking neurons that I had managed to take a little time out of them.
"I can still going"
I heard him say a few meters behind me. I could still hear the smoke coming from his veins, this time with much more vigor, a sign that he was about to heal completely. Damn bastard, he'd perfected his healing technique over the years and it didn't take more than five minutes to heal all of his wounds.
"Well I can't!" I screamed reluctantly, as if I was trying to convince myself to give me a break, even if that break meant losing the battle against a terrorist group.
My feet kept moving over the leaves until they hit a fallen tree branch and half caught up with it, causing me to lose my balance and fall sideways onto the bark of the same tree. I instinctively placed my hand and with the fall, the hand didn’t stay sufficiently attached to the surface and drifted to the side, scratching my skin and exposing the raw flesh. I rested my healthiest shoulder on the surface and held my hand. The blood came out slowly, in time with the rapid pumping of my heart, the palm was throbbing and I felt that throbbing not only in that area but also in my ears and in my chest. I blew on the wound to remove the small traces of dirt and grime on the flesh.
"I'm tired of continue fighting, I'm tired of fighting with you and I'm tired of this world, I'm going home"
"What home?" ok, of all the things Eren could have said right now, or all the things he said to me over the past few weeks, this was the one that had hurt the most, the one that had touched my heart the most.
The image of my mother being killed in front of me by a bullet in the head at the age of ten, the image of my father or what was left of him returning to my village after years in training, the image of my family's house destroyed and split in half, while parts of the steps were burned and made charcoal. The image of a cabin in the middle of a field, far from the city, calm, empty and silent, the one that for a couple of years was my residence and now it was used by the queen herself to give birth to the heir. All those images appeared in my mind without invitation to haunt me in a matter of seconds until I gave my answer.
"To what is left of it" I broke away from the surface of the tree and devoted myself to looking ahead and following the path that at first I was taking.
“Wait” behind me the sound of the smoke had stopped and the only thing I could hear was the rustling of the leaves under Eren, who was getting up and standing on his feet.
I ignored his claim and kept walking, always looking ahead and taking good care of where I stepped, I wasn’t in the mood to rip my other hand or fall back on the one that was already badly hurt.
“I said fucking wait” was the only thing I heard before feeling his hands on mine and my shoulder.
I no longer know how many times my back was hit against a surface, I just knew that at this point it would be full of bruises or most likely my back would be a whole bruise, having all the skin covered in a nice purple or black color. My head suffered the same fate, chunks of bark digging into my scalp and some snagging on my hair. Strands got tangled over small branches halfway out of the trunk and pulled my head that way, putting me in a very uncomfortable position. The hand Eren was holding stretched forward, threatening to stretch it further and dislocate my shoulder in the process, the other hand holding my shoulder tightening more and more against my flesh while holding the bone in an impossible way with his long, slender fingers.
If my heart wasn’t already racing too much, the pulsations went crazy when I felt his hand leave mine calmy and position my arm at my side with great care to move to free a lock of hair from the bark and position it behind my ear. Then he stroked my cheek in the same way he had done so many times before. His thumb wandered over my shallow cuts, pulling out the dried blood that had accumulated, and made circular motions over my badly injured cheekbone, as if he was trying to remove the pain that he himself had caused. I leaned my head to the side trying to prevent him from keep touching me, fixing my gaze on the floor, on his feet, on mine, and I hid my face behind the few strands that were loose.
“Look at me” his voice was nothing more than a whisper, only the silence of the forest gave the opportunity to hear him clearly.
My gaze remained embedded in the grass that surrounded the tree below our feet. His thumb, now positioned on my lower lip, forcefully applied pressure downward on the open flesh, parting my two lips and sticking his finger in just enough to play with the tips of my teeth. His index finger came under my chin and forced me to turn my head in his direction.
“Fuck. Look at me! ” His eyes penetrated mine and for the first time in a long time I could see a small glow reflected in them. But that glow, I guessed, wasn’t good at all. It wasn’t the same kind Eren had when he was fifteen, knowing he had the whole world ahead of him and he could be of use to humanity, but instead was the same kind he had before annihilating with extreme anger his opponent.
We stare at each other, his face getting closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin and his thumb was still playing with my teeth. The hand that was holding my shoulder began to caress the skin that was visible outside the shirt, over my neck, also sore and full of scratches.
In an attempt to get him to leave my lip alone, I bit down on the tip of his thumb, not hard enough to rip off a piece of meat, but hard enough to make him fucking pull his finger out of my mouth. He waved his hand trying to ease the pain and grabbed my other cheek, stretched it out, pinched it and left a red mark on the area, burning me for a few seconds.
"I missed you back in Liberio" He grabbed a lock of my neck and twisted it between his fingers, playing for a moment and pulling the roots so that my head leaned forward.
The fingers on the skin of my neck continued it’s movements, sometimes going towards the back of my neck, scratching the beginning of the root and pulling a few strands. The caresses were soft, like the massage of a feather, it gave me chills up my spine at the same time that I was having trouble breathing with each step of his fingertips on the bone of my neck. He stopped playing with my lock and cupped one of my cheeks in the palm of his hand, his skin cold compared to mine, warm from adrenaline. It was a somewhat invasive sensation, but at the same time, comforting and uncertain. His thumb again made circular motions over the wounded skin but this time avoiding the scratch marks.
"I missed the warmth of your cheeks and the shapes of your hands" His face moved closer to my neck, his nose brushing against the bruised skin and his breath tickling the tender spots between my neck and collarbone. His breathing made me shudder from head to toe, as if lightning had struck my body.
"Eren" it was pathetic to see how with a simple touch, my body responded so submissively.
I was trembling and not from the wind that blew from time to time over us, but from the multiple caresses on my neck; my cheek being forgotten and now the waist was being the focus point, his lips playing with my mental stability as he delicately rested on me neck, but not enough to lean on and kiss it. My brain was telling me everything was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this, but my body asked for more, asking for a break, relax and let go. My innermost desires were screaming, begging, to be released, imploring me to succumb and break the tension that was obvious to them, but less to me.
What seemed like endless minutes, were limited seconds before I felt Eren's lips on my warm skin, his hand now resting completely on my neck and my waist, drawing me closer to him, at the same time that he imprisoned me against the tree. I was in the middle of two hard walls and unconsciously I didn't feel like moving. His soft lips compared to his hands and his acting from the last year, roamed under my chin and collarbone, making a path up and down, always repeating the same line of kisses that he left behind. The more kisses he implanted, the more aggressive, open and needy they were, all the while getting wetter and leaving a trail of saliva all around. His knee shifted between my legs, separating them and lifting me to sit barely on his leg, my crotch gently placed on his covered flesh and with each movement his leg applied the necessary pressure to begin get pathetic moans out of me.
"Better keep quiet, you don't want others to find out about our whereabouts" he growled through his teeth as he continued attacking my neck. Now I was sure that, not only would I end up with scratches, but also a few hickeys if Eren wasn't careful enough. What would be more embarrassing? They founding us hot and bothered against a tree or the fact that I was getting carried away sexually with the most wanted person in Paradis?
"Fuck, Eren ..." the hand on my waist tightened and I grabbed onto him, pulling me impossibly closer, fusing both bodies, one against the other's chest.
His hand guided my body back and forth, continuing to generate pressure on my core, a sweet agony that built very slowly, too slow for my liking. My legs were starting to feel numb from the bad posture Eren had me in and were shaking as his leg touched a weak spot. His fingers intertwined with my locks, tightening them and pulling my head back, having better access to my neck and being able to run his teeth through the fine skin. Eren always had a damn habit of biting, and biting hard, not to the point of bleeding, but under the circumstances, I doubted he had enough self-control to even mind ripping the skin. When his fangs aggressively bit my collarbone I grunted in discomfort, but even that feeling, the pleasure was much better. It hurt and it felt good.
Another bite, this time reaching the shoulder. His hand left my hair in peace and stretched the shirt, revealing more clearly his work on my neck and how the curve of my shoulder became more visible under the fabric.
My breathing was shaking, my hands resting on his biceps trying to find a point of balance, my nails dug into his jacket and my leg trying to curl over his for fear of falling. When his teeth came into contact with my shoulder again, aiming for the bone, I screamed in pain, pressing my body against his to dissipate the burning of his teeth on the broken skin. He let go of my shirt and squeezed my cheeks, fixing his eyes on mine violently and commanding me to shut up.
"Stay quiet if you don't want me to fuck you raw until you bleed" Before such a comment I was speechless, my neurons could not connect and I was left blank; the only thing in command now was my animalistic desire.
"Make me"
His lips slammed against mine, needy and eager. They were dry, too dry, and every brush against mine hurt, but neither of us cared about having two pairs of chapped and possibly bleeding lips. All we cared about was melting into each other. My hands dug into the hollow of his neck and his bun, which was already disarmed and strands fell on his forehead and sides, some fell right in front of his eyes, tickling my forehead and eyelashes.
I felt his hands descend to the curve of my butt and grab a good chunk of both cheeks before fully holding them. A little pressure and I was already jumping so I could hold on comfortably. Now we could both feel the center of each other, hot, throbbing and twitching. Every move Eren made to hold us together against the tree sent chills through my entire body, his notoriously erect and hard member rose in the right places and my moans were drowned out by his savage lips.
My nails dug into the back of his neck as I felt a stronger and more violent thrust on my sweet spot. I wanted it, needed it, and desired it. I wished this lustful feeling was the only thing I felt, that I would succumb and refuse to feel any other feelings. I wanted to give myself to him and use me if it meant letting go of all the negativity that had accumulated for weeks. I wanted to remove his clothes from him, to feel his sculpted, chunky muscles on the palms of my hand, wanted to feel his chest throbbing and warm on mine, wanted him completely. I pulled the jacket off his shoulders, getting stuck in his arms. Eren dropped me on the floor with a spear and took off his jacket to leave it god knows where.
"Hey! What the fuck- ”He didn't take long to kiss me again, now with his colossal body on top of mine.
I felt small under him, much more submissive, the sensation of his hands prowling the ends of my torso, reaching under the shirt and feeling my skin burning didn’t fix anything to the situation. His fingertips tickled my stomach, making me shudder every time they made their way to my abdomen. His tongue played with mine, distracting me from his deft fingers and his wickedness as he moved towards my chest and began to work on my nipples. He was a teassing bastard. His fingers poked and twisted one of my red, erect pebble. It was torturous to feel like between the puncture and the circular movement he took the time to stretch it and make it harder. With his other hand, he held my hip next to his, keeping it in it’s place as he balanced his hips against my pelvis. My legs opened involuntarily to better feel his member and in an agile movement he positioned himself between them, reconnecting both hips and placing them on both sides and holding him at the waist. With this, neither could escape the grasp of the other and we slowly melted away with each thrust and twist.
His hand came out from under my shirt and he started unbuttoning my shirt, one damn slow button at a time. Having my chest semi-exposed, his lips wandered towards my clavicle, passing the corner of my lips, the cheek, the jaw and the already sensitive neck, causing a groan to come out unexpectedly. His lips on the crook of my neck, his hands on the skin of my abdomen and his crotch on mine, I felt like I was exploding. I didn’t know where to put my hands, they went through his tousled hair, his shoulders, his biceps until they ended up under his shirt, feeling insecurely on the fingertips as touching his marked abs.
Every time I had the opportunity to admire his sturdy and worked body, it never ceased to amaze me how well puberty had done to him. His body able to surround me and cover me against the floor, pressing so that we could both feel the heat emanating from the other. I hadn't been able to tell him when he was in prison, but seeing him hunched over and exposing his torso and back muscles really had a great effect on me, seeing him wet, being able to discern some drops falling from his head onto his neck, was like seeing an oasis and I was a thirsty one, eager to sink my face into its sweet waters. I had been deprived of touching them at the time, but now that I was doing it, it wasn’t enough, I needed to see them with my own eyes as my fingers ran over them, while I ran my nails and left small marks that would dissipate in seconds. 
The hand back on my chest was the boost I needed to lift his shirt up to his neck. Eren detached himself from me for a few seconds and got rid of the garment in the same way as his jacket, but he didn’t attack my neck like I so much wanted. Instead, his eyes stayed glued to my chest, seeing the work his deft fingers had done on my swollen nipples.
"Fuck" he growled as he ran his eyes over my semi-naked submissive body on the grass.
He bent down to level with his desired pebbles and caressed them with both hands, both giving them equal attention. I let my head fall back, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation, but there was a moment when his fingers weren't enough anymore. I brought my hand up to his head, running my nails over his scalp, and pulled him forward, leaving him inches from my needy nipples. Eren got the hint because he quickly ran his tongue over one of them while the other was still torturing with his thumb and index finger. His mouth closed on the nipple and he sucked like it’s the only thing able to keep him alive, too painful but that didn't matter to me. He left a trail of saliva when he separated from the bundle with a 'pop' and dedicated himself to giving the other the same attention. I groaned at the needed action, causing his dick to hit my core. I was losing his mind, it was too much and at the same time, it wasn’t enough. I needed to continue, I wanted it with every fiber of my being. My nails had nothing better to do than run down his back and my legs wedged closer to his waist. I felt his dick throb and couldn't help thinking of the veins that ran through it, ending on his pretty and red head, he pre-sum that was surely coming out and wetting his pants, I couldn't help but wish to had him inside me and feel those same veins brush my velvet walls and go crazy with each thrust.
As my thoughts wandered of what was to come, Eren's lips left my nipples and focused back on my neck, this time on the side where my scar was. He left little kisses around the shoulder and around the mark, running up and down the shape, ending a little above the chest. His action was too sweet, too tender compared to his wild and hungry movements. My eyes widened instantly, if his intention was to make me uncomfortable, he had done it. If the intention was to ruin the fervid and hectic moment by reliving the scariest moment of my life, he was damned succeeding. How could I keep my composure when he was kissing the mark I had "earned" by going on a mission to rescue him? How could I stay calm when the memories of an onslaught of titans haunted my mind again, ready to devour me while I was lying on the ground with my movement equipment displaced and my shoulder immobilized by the bleeding wound? The memory of a stone flying towards my face, dodging it at the last moment and ending up hitting my shoulder bone, dislocating it, tearing the skin and flesh and noticing how the blood spurted out, soaking my shirt and jacket. My breathing started to hit, and not in the good way, and apparently Eren wasn’t realizing or hadn't taken it the wrong way.
It was like a bucket of cold water in pure winter. My mind suddenly cleared and every trace of heat my body ever had dissipated, leaving only a cold, stiff container.
"Wait, wait...no, no, this is bad" I put my hands on his shoulders and jerked him off.
"Why?" His eyes didn’t deign to inspect mine. Any normal person in their right mind, just by looking at my pale face could deduct that something was wrong.
"Why? I- You are the number one enemy in the world and of the military police, I would have to give you up and not making up with you right now"
I was babbling as well as shaking. I got up and settled onto my legs, sitting stiffly on the ground. Eren had come to the side before my body crashed against his when I got up and he was looking at me without any expression, as if nothing had happened, as if the only one who had been feeling something, even if it was a minimal sensation of pleasure, it was me, and that made me feel sick.
"I would have to be angry, make you shit on the floor and take you to pieces towards the wall Sina" at any moment I was going to throw up, I knew it. I knew my body perfectly to know that in every moment of tension and panic, my stomach would start to annoy me, to go into spasms and hit me internally. "I shouldn't be doing this with you"
"Is that so bad? Listen to your desires, follow your instincts? " His hands came to rest on my waist and without any permission from me, he placed me on his lap, both of us being face to face, chest to chest.
His words entered my ears and stayed reverberating in my mind. What to do? I was doing everything wrong, but at the same time they felt so good. I wanted to continue thoroughly, but I knew that morally it was wrong, more than wrong, it was horrible what I was doing, anyone could tell me that. I felt bad about myself, but ... deep inside me, there was a small feeling that was getting bigger and bigger and wanted, screamed, to be released. I was so indecisive and overwhelmed that all I could do was cry.
Pathetic. I was really pathetic.
I lowered my head on his shoulder, keeping the tears from being visible to this callous shit. His hands on my waist didn't feel at all comforting as he began to move his thumb in a circular motion. My hands formed into fists and I hit his shoulders repeatedly, each hit receiving a kiss on the head. My energies were exhausted at the very begining and I rested my fists on my waist, my head now barely suspended in front of him, not looking at him.
"I hate you" he kissed my shoulder.
"I know" another kiss, this time on the other shoulder, on my scar.
"I fucking hate you" my knuckles turned white from how hard I was clenching my fists.
"I know" he kissed a tear that had escaped my lashes and was running freely down my cheek.
"You're a piece of shit"
I opened my eyes to find a pair of beautiful turquoise eyes, bright and full of life. Eren placed his hand on my cheek, running his thumb every time a tear fell down it. He leaned down and captured my lips with his sweetly, the tears falling and falling, faster and faster and more forming in my closed eyes. The kiss had a salty taste, my heart was about to leave my chest and when Eren broke away I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to take it anymore.
"…I know"
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spiltscribbles · 3 years
Note
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?” + Poorly Timed Confession + modern au 😍 pretty please!!!
~Notes: OMFG angel!!! Thank you SO SO much for the prompt<3 You are a complete babe! I hope you like :S It’s cheese, but like also what else would I do? LMFAO XD
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Smash Prompt Game  |  Send Me A Prompt💜 |  A Reblog Is Like An I Love You!!
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“Hmmm… All right, would you rather, mmm… Smell Borris Johnson’s sweaty gym socks, or snog Professor Slughorn full on the mouth for a straight minute— oh erm, not so straight I reckon on second thought.”
Remus wrinkles his nose at him from across the bed, and clucks his tongue at the awful pun. “You’re unruly.”
“And you’re dodging,”
“Am not arse, I’m just recovering from that very terrifying scenario you’ve spewed out like the sadistic satanist you are.”
“Which scenario are you recovering from though?” Sirius leers, wiggling his eyebrows and jostling Remus’s textbook with his foot.
“I hate that you’re enjoying this so much,” Remus intones in a deadpan.
“Mary John, I’m waiting,” Sirius says with far too much glee.
Sometimes Remus is sure that he hates him. “Fine, the answer is I hate you.”
“Filthy and slanderous lies, Lupin.”
“You’re demented.”
“Five. Four. Three—“
“I won’t choose.”
“See,  all I hear is that you wanna get it on with our chemistry professor, you saucy minx, you.”
Remus sniffs. “Better than touching that prick with even a ten foot pole.”
“Mmmm, have I ever told you how hot and heavy I get hearing you talk politics at me?”
Remus throws him the bird, which makes Sirius laugh. Remus can objectively say that Sirius has the most beautiful variations of laughter in the world, and he’d know considering he’s catalogued each one. This version is definitely top three. His care free, effortless laugh when Remus takes him off guard with a snide remark or lowly muttered retort that’s not appropriate for most company— It’s really more of a experience, truly. His breaths stutter out in a lovely staccato, and his eyes glimmer like the sea, and sometimes it feels like the world’s been suspended and it’s only the two of them in that slice of eternity.
Erm, Ah, but yeah…. That only happens occasionally, and it’s only because Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend— has been since the final year of primary school after Remus had moved to the London outskirts from his small, coastal town in Wales, and on first sight, Sirius swung a snowball straight to Remus’s face, which he of course responded to by throwing two more his way, and well… The pair of them were soaking and breathless by the end of it, but their fate was sealed, they were the greatest of friends, and nothing would ever alter that unquestionable staple.
So what if sometimes Remus’s chest thuds painfully when Sirius dimples his way, or Remus only ever wants to talk to him over anyone else— even Lily or his Mam— if he’s had a bad day, or good one, or if something remarkable had happened, or , or… Or whenever really. And there’s absolutely no significance that Remus can’t help the totally delighted grin that splits his face in half whenever he gets a text or snap from Sirius.
None of that is at all relevant.
Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend, and he’d never risk ruining that by allowing some pesky little crush swallow him whole and clammer out his mouth— vulnerable and throbbing in the open space between them. It doesn’t matter if Marlene always makes kissy faces their way, or how James only ever refers to them as a couple, and so what if Peter’s got a pole running that Remus knows basically the whole school is betting on. 
They’re all wrong, Sirius would never, ever feel the same sort of way that Remus does him, that’s downright preposterous and ridiculous and just simply impossible. And Remus’s perfectly content with that very real truth… He is.
Remus is fine with it God help him. So everyone else just needs to but the fuck out of their business.
Besides, this, this right now— Him and Sirius splayed out on opposite ends of Remus’s bed, with Sirius’s feet nudging at Remus’s elbow whenever he’s got a question about there homework, with the window cracked open just so, letting in some of the chilly winter air because Sirius absolutely can not focus if he’s not cold— the fucking furnace— Where Remus can still hear the going ons of his family playing out on the floor below them… This is the most perfect place in Remus’s eyes, and he won’t ever change that, especially not to live out some boyhood fantasy that would never come into fruition in his wildest of dreams.
Remus’s content… He is… He has to be or else he’d lose one of the most vital people in his world.
.-
“You’ve got footie practice after school, right?”
“Mmhmm, you coming to watch?”
“Only if you admit i’m your good luck charm,” Remus sardonically bats his lashes at Sirius as if he was in a mascara advert, and the taller boy  blows a raspberry right back at him.
“Nice, real nice. You’re extraordinarily mature, you know that, Black?”
“And sexy, don’t forget that, oh so important descriptor Lupin.”
Remus leans against the locker besides Sirius’s, watches as he trades his current binders for the lot he’ll need for the afternoon, and tries really hard not to stare too longingly at how Sirius’s arm muscles ripple beneath their school’s  maroon, uniform jackets  in the most delicious of ways. (He hates the fact he’s been dissolved into a starry eyed mess lusting over the star striker, but thus is his fate.)
“I’d never commit such a faux pas, and I’m insulted that you’d ever think as much.”
Sirius sneers at him with a slight shake to his head. “So you coming or not?”
“I’m still contemplating my options,” he preens, but before Sirius could retort, Marlene, megawatt smile and dangerously sharp  smirk— swaggers over towards them.
“Good morning my two beautiful chums!”
“What do you want?” Sirius asks before even glancing her way, to which Marlene blinks up at him, faux owlish. “S, I just wanted to greet a couple of my closest companions this lovely December morning,” she defends herself.
“Marls, you’re never this agreeable before noon,” Remus points out hesitantly.
“ And you rarely are even afterwards,” Sirius tacks on.
“Rude,” she pouts.
“Accurate,” Remus pipes in with an apologetic grimace.
Marlene stares them both down for a solid minute before finally relaxing her shoulders, and thrusting out the legal pad in her grasp. “The student council and spirit society are selling corsages for the snowflake formal, and Dorcas has deployed me to get some orders.”
“Whipped,” Sirius teases through a counter-fit cough.
Marlene doesn’t hesitate before smashing the legal pad on his head. “And you traipsing around getting people to buy the tickets for the theatre department last semester even though Re was only playing Mercutio wasn’t you being wrapped around his littlest finger?”
Remus flushes, feeling an unnerving amount of bees stinging around his stomach, and is thankful when the conversation pauses after Sirius casts her a very heated V.  “Sod off.”
“So are you guys gonna buy or not?” Marlene huffs, weight slung to her left hip, and arms crossed against her chest.
“I’m a gay bloke, Marls, did you forget that?” Remus pins her with a one eyed squint, and she just scrunches her face up at him, exasperated.
“I’m sure there’s matching boutonnieres.”
“Fine, I just don’t have any school spirit  then.”
This time she glares. “Lily and James are Head Boy and Head Girl, isn’t there like an oath between you lot,  one for all and all for one, or some rot?”
“That’s the three musketeers,” he says.
“isn’t that basically who you guys are?” She reasons.
Before their wage of words could continue, Sirius just grabs the order form out of Marlene’s hands and fills out a sheet with the flurry of his pen. “Happy?”
“Positively delighted,” she leers, pecking them both on the cheek before strutting off, reminding them of their group study session at Alice’s tonight in her wake.
Sirius shakes his head, reluctantly amused with a grin gathering on the corners of his mouth, but for Remus everything feels like it’s frozen. “You didn’t have to do that you know? ’S not like James is much of a Head Boy anyhow, and Lily wouldn’t have really cared.”
Sirius shrugs, commences their walk to the opposite wing of the school for their shared history class. “Emmy likes that sort of romantical shite.”
Remus sees red, feels his heart lodging in his damn esophagus. “Oh, so— Erm,  you’re taking her then,” Remus wonders if his tone sounds as detached as he feels.
“Yeah,” Sirius eyes him, questioning. “She wants that title of snow queen real bad, made me promise I’d campaign with her and the whole shtick.”
“Oh,” it’s like Remus could feel it when he closes off completely, can feel his hopes squashed down and his heart contract and his every organ collapsing in on themselves, leaving him feeling hollowed out completely.
Sirius slows down marginally, eyeing him with a slight frown. “Is that all right? I know you two don’t exactly get along and we were planning to go as a group, bu—“
“It’s fine,” Remus hates how screechy his voice gets, how he feels like he’s about to scream. “You two are a shoe in, no doubt.”
Sirius tries to mirror Remus’s faux excitement with a tepid grin of his own, but Remus doesn’t let him, instead commandeering their typical table on the back row and tries focussing on the thousandth war with France while his world tilts off kilter.
.-
Emmy is beautiful, and popular and her smile alone dazzles the whole room. She’s everything that Sirius should look for in a partner, someone to match his whip lash wit, and his taste for all things exuberant that skirt on flashy, and someone who’s got just as many friends and admirers as him.
They’re perfect and Remus should just get over his petty ass hatred of her, even if he still thinks she can be down right cruel and selective and selfish. Qualities Sirius surely isn’t… But maybe it’s all in his head how she sneers at people who she finds plane, or how she literally guffaws over the misfortune of others. Maybe his perception of how she wields people in like moths to a flame just to get what she wants is all a misunderstanding, or in his head or something.
Maybe all that’s possible, even if Remus seriously doubts it.
But at the end of the day, Sirius loves her— has been basically infatuated by Emmeline Vance since she first transferred at the start of their Freshman year. Sirius loves her, and who ever Sirius loves is merely an extension of him… Right?
Remus just needs to get over it and somehow rid himself of this crush he’s been fostering for so long it’s basically a part of him at this point. Though, he thinks it’d be a lot easier if he didn’t see their faces plastered on posters everywhere the week and a half leading up to the dance— looking like actual royals that would put Will and cate to shame.
.-
“Yo cheekbones!”
Remus starts, swivels around from where he was scratching his pen to paper, finding Sirius— as glimmering and beautiful as always— swaggering up to him, insanely electric smile painted over his face.
“Would you rather eat a jumbo jar of jalapeños without a break, or eat the toenails from someone with athlete’s foot next to your dinner every night of the rest of your life?”
“I thought you were having lunch with Emmy to keep up your royalty status before this weekend?” Remus asks, tacitly side stepping from the horrific images swimming to the forefront of his mind because of his cruel question.
“Now that doesn’t sound like an answer to my ultimatum,” Sirius says in a singsong sort of voice.
“You answer me first,” Remus says airily.
“But I asked first,” Sirius argues haughtily.
“Well both your options would kill me, so I wouldn’t do either,” Remus retorts.
“That’s not how the game works!”
“You’re the one who always says that rules were made to be broken,” Remus says, lofty as all get out,, and dissolves into laughter at the completely cross look Sirius’s giving him.
“You were born to be contrary, weren’t you?”
“So lunch?”
“Got bored,” he shrugs, hopping onto the corner of the desk Remus’s working on. “What you up to instead of eating?”
“My position paper for Model UN.” Sirius smiles down at him, and Remus can’t help the flush that spreads across his cheeks in return. “Not as glamorous as running as Snow King, I know.”
“It’s precious,” Sirius contends, his soft timbre sounding like syrup and his long fingers fluttering against Remus’s skin, pushing back a lock of his ever disheveled, tawny curls in a far to gentle way, and Remus gulps before averting his gaze to break the sudden tautness that’s built between them. 
They’ve had so many of these almost moments, ones that Remus’s always treasured but he knows doesn’t mean much of anything at all to Sirius— Sirius who is effortlessly hilarious, and brims with genius and  who is so beautiful that sometimes it hurts looking at him for too long. Sirius who has a new suitor at his beck and call on a near weekly basis. But whenever they transpire now, it just hurts all the more because Remus knows in his heart of hearts that they will never lead anywhere, and Sirius is in love with Emmy and Remus can’t let himself float around in this daydream for any longer.
“Ahem,” he clears his throat, shuffles in his seat only slightly. “I’m Algeria so my Mam’s pretty excited about it. She’s been telling me all the stuff Wikipedia’s got wrong and everything.”
Sirius laughs, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “Your mother is kinda everything, you know that?”
Remus twists his mouth up, reluctant. “Don’t tell her as much, or else she’ll go on and on how she won Miss Teen Great Britain when she was only sixteen.”
“Hmm, I was wondering where you got that pretty face.”
“You, Sirius Black, can go lick an unwashed arse.”
“You’ll never catch a suitor with that cheek of yours though. I’d work on that, Lupin.”
“I don’t think I could ever win Miss Congeniality, alas.”  Remus doesn’t quite catch Sirius’s reply, to busy responding too the text his phone just chirped with instead.
“Mary John, are you listening?”
“Uh-huh.”
Sirius’s brows hike up, flabbergasted smile stretched across his face. “So totally rude! And I came all the way here— to the place where dreamers die— just to spend time with you.”
“Sorry,” Remus gives him an abashed little half grin before setting the phone back down. “’s just Fabian.”
Sirius’s expression drops, goes inquisitive instead of his typical ebullience. “Fabian? Why’s Fabian Prewett texting you, and why is he,” Sirius crooks his head so he’s able to read the new message that popped up on Remus’s phone’s screen. “Asking about color coordination?”
Remus blushes for an entirely new reason now, one he likes much less. “Ah, he’s the sort to like it when our suits like match, but not in an abrasive fashion, you know?”
Sirius’s face goes scarily blank.
“Your suits? Suits for what?”
“The dance…” Remus says slowly, he’s confused what Sirius’s confused about.
“The dance… Right… I thought you were still going with everyone else?”
“Pff, no way,” Remus scoffs. “Lily’s  only pretending to be single, you know how red in the face she gets whenever around James. They’ll end up dancing the whole night away. And with Dorcas running the whole event and Benjy thinking any social function is a plague on society, that’d leave me stuck with Peter and Mary, . And honestly I’ve seen enough of her tongue shoved down his throat for a lifetime.” Remus is only slightly  surprised that doesn’t even elicit a chuckle from Sirius, who’s now looking a bit stormy— and he thinks he’ll never be accustomed to his mercurial moods that can change as quickly as the snap of the finger.
“Right… So you’re going with Fabian Prewett… as your date?”
“Yes… Why is that so hard to believe?”
“it’s, it’s not,” Sirius scrambles, suddenly standing up.
“Then why are you being so weird about this,” Remus argues, getting up to meet him at his level.
“Am not!”
“You’re going with Emmy,” Remus reminds him, this edge of desperate.
“I know I am, okay. But you— you—“ Sirius tappers off, eyes glassy and lips parted with words he can’t get out, and Jesus fucking Christ is it weird how for the first time ever their roles have reversed. Sirius can’t put any sentences together, and everything Remus’s been beating down—  everything thrashing inside of him— are now burning his throat and warring over who can spill out first.
“What? I’m suppose to stay behind like the pathetic, nobody friend. The guy who’s just there to moon after you while you have an actual life. The Judie garland to your Mickie Roomie!”
“What are you even talking about right now!” Sirius shouts, sounding as torn apart as Remus feels.
“As if you don’t know!” He snarls, collecting his books into his backpack— Suddenly this room feels to stifling. He can’t breathe and it’s too hot and his chest is pounding.
He’s imploding and Remus has no idea how to rectify it.
“Just stop! Remus Stop!”
“leave me the fuck alone Sirius!”
“Why are you being such a prick about this!”
And that, that makes Remus angry, angrier than he’s ever been.
Before he could even think about it for a moment longer, Remus is rounding on him, dashing so close to Sirius that he can taste his breath with how close their faces are skirting against each other.
“I’m in love with you! I’ve been in love with you for forever, and I know that you don’t feel the same way, and I know that you’re in love with Emmy and, and I just know okay.”
“Wha—“ Sirius sputters, looking like a gaping fish. “Wait a second, are you jealous? Of sodding Emmy Vance?”
“Don’t!” Remus practically growls out. "Don’t disrespect me, okay? Don’t pretend that you never knew, or that I was such a good actor. I’ve been in love with you for years and you always knew and Fine, I get it. You never felt the same way, that’s fine. But just don’t pretend as if you never had the choice, don’t make me out as the bad guy for actually, finally saying yes to a bloke who’s actually into me. I need to fucking give up on the premise of us, I need to get over you. So I’m going out with fucking Fabian Prewett and you’re going out with Emmy Vance and that’s that!”
His breaths are labored, jagged and painful, as they race out of him, but Remus can’t move. He’s staring straight into Sirius’s beautiful, gray eyes, and he sees everything he’s always seen there, and hates that this is probably the last time he’ll get to be this close to him.
Not after this.
“I didn’t,” is the first thing Sirius croaks out, broken and helpless. “i didn’t know, Remus you have to believe me— I didn’t—”
“How! How could you not know!” He shouts back, but Remus doesn’t get his answer in so many words, instead he feels it.
He feels it when Sirius clamps his hands on either end of his waste-line, feels it when Sirius smashes their lips together in a cacophony of lips, and teeth and spit. He feels it when Sirius moans in side of him, when his hand moves down, spreads across the width of the small of his back, pushing their torsos even closer. Remus feels it when everything goes into focus, when he takes Sirius into his arms, greedy and excited and disbelieving.
And Remus thinks to all the other times he’s kissed another boy— To this prior weekend swapping snogs with a beaming Fabian in the back of a theatre. He thinks of how there was never anything worth anything when he kissed any of them Because it was all Sirius, always Sirius. And he could try to love Fabian, or some other cute boy, and he tried, and he tried, and he tried, and he gave all he had…but it was never enough, could it ever be enough?
Remus knows it in his bones that it’s enough when it’s with Sirius.
When they finally pull apart it’s difficult to breathe and Remus feels lightheaded and it’s wonderful in the most marvelous of ways.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Sirius says in a whisper. 
“Maybe next time give a guy some warning?” Remus can’t help the shit eating smirk that swipes across his mouth and is elated at the adorably cross scowl Sirius answers him with.
“Fine jackass, how’s this for a warning, I’m gonna kiss you now.”
“That’ll be sufficient, I suppose,” Remus goads, laughing against Sirius’s lips when he does just that.
~*~
Sirius ends up winning snow king, but rejects the dance with Emmy, opts to ask Remus to join him instead, as if they were in the middle of some John Hughes movie from the fucking 80s.
It’s utterly ridiculous and overdone and simply way too much— but everyone applauded and cheered and when Sirius kissed him in the middle of it, Remus felt as if his whole body sung with joy.
.-
~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist
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