#who isn't abusive

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

🧝🏻‍♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow

The first signs of a narcissist is their bad energy. You’ll feel engulfed the second you step into the room. Their eyes will turn black and they will start using their satanic manipulation powers on you. Then, it’s very subtle, but they will sprout huge, curled, black devil horns from their head and will tear you to shreds, all in the span of a second, and then personally drag your body to hell. The only way to stop them is to literally kill them.

Follow for more tips on how to stay safe! 🤗

#positivity #empathy #empath #self care #self love #NARCS KILL YOURSELVES #abuse survivor #recovery #love #hope #happiness

1 bazillion notes

🌼 npdiscovery

hey guys can we please stop throwing people with personality disorders under the bus?

🧝🏻‍♀️ superniceempathtrustme13 Follow

This is a prime example on why narcissists will always be evil abusers. Here one is, right now, denying that I went through abuse and saying my trauma isn’t real. It’s messed up. We need to permanently kick out narcissists from public spaces, because stuff like this is NOT okay. Here is a link on how to trigger a narcissistic collapse for your next encounter. Just be warned, some narcissists are known to shoot lazers from their eyes when they’re angry.

#stay safe! #abuse surviver #narc abuse #ppl with npd are inherently evil #i would know i’m an empath so i’m better #i mean not evil #positivity #safety #self care #a better world #self love

26 notes

#pov: you’re scrolling through the blog of someone who uses the phrase “narc abuse” #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #fakeposting #max squawks #ableism #narc abuse isn't real

[bruciemilf]

Somebody tell me if this is a bad take, or if my love for Bruce is causing my objective brain to glitch, but-- something about advertising Batman, a hero who's very popular for being good with children, for being NURTURING with children, a bad father kinda defeats the whole purpose of what he's supposed to represent.

Batman is a protector; He protects people the world (and especially law enforcement) does not care about. That's literally the point of him.

Something about marketing " you can be incredibly violent to people you care about! And Its fine, because you care about them even if you abuse them, and that's what matters!" towards people, but especially men and young boys, is REALLY fucked up to me.

#it's not really 'wahhh think of the children' because the media you consume isn't a vessel of your character #but. gotham war is so incredibly shallow to me for pulling the 'no no its another personality bruce would never!' like. thats worse. #you get thats worse right? #because 1) dc loves demoninsing DID for some reason but it doesn’t add any substantial weight because bruce will be associated with #the actions of his 'alter' anyway. and dc knew that. 2) if you truly cannot write an interesting comic book where bruce is not abusive #and the batkids aren't being abused. you failed. #this isn't a reprouch or an attack to people who prefer that format. but the creator isn't doing it as genuine exploration of dark tropes #if that's the case -- dont cop out with the personality thing. let him be a bad dad. but its kinda fucked how dc STILL try to paint him #as a good person while doing so. its the collen hoover effect. 'we know the guy is an abuser. thats not the problem. the problem #is that the author wants us to pretend thats a good thing.' #bruce wayne #dc comics #dc #batman #text post #dc critical

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Young Cecil doing his homework with no help and walking past his mom’s half-open door hoping she doesn’t hear him sneaking out and doodling things like “CGP + EH” in his notebook (crossed out) and turning in permission slips at school that the teachers reject because they’re all signed by his big sister and feeling a shiver down his spine whenever he sees a too-tall tree and stealing makeup from drug stores but popping out the mirrors first and falling asleep to the radio and stacking cassette tapes next to his mattress because he never got a frame for his bed and leaving out bowls of water for stray cats and chasing the mice out of his room and learning Torah verses even though he knows no one other than Abby will come to his Bar Mitzvah and crying himself to sleep at night but making up stories in the morning about the citizens he’s seen around town and bumping into Josie at the supermarket where she offers to drive him to the bowling alley and bringing his mom mother’s day flowers even though he’ll be the one who puts them in water, plucks away the dead leaves, throws them away while she watches with blank eyes and when he stares at the loud sunrise he feels an ache in his chest he can’t explain yet and hating that Abby can get a summer job but he’s not old enough yet, it’s starting to feel like decades have passed and he’s still not old enough, and failing his practice SATs because he had to teach himself all those big words and dying in front of a broken mirror and looking at a mirror with broken shards that’s still intact and being a beautiful person in spite of everything and dragging his boy scout recorder into a blanket fort to record cassette tapes about how one day things will be better, one day things will be better, one day things will be better. 

#young cecil #cecil gershwin palmer #neglect is a horrible form of abuse #im so sorry to anyone who like cecil went through that #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #cecil's trauma isn't explored much in the show but it feels so present sometimes #young cecil is dead long live young cecil #wtnv

[notedgyanymore]

Clockwork and Bruce Wayne shared custody AU!

The Fentons have uncovered Danny's secret and turned on him, he would never have expected, but it was Clockwork who took he in and tried to raise him as his son. However, the old clock quickly realized he not the best at dealing with his son's human needs, he knows that he can't do this alone, so what does Clockwork do?

Essentially, he traps the justice league in a time loop to test them! The loop revolves around helping a meta girl turned vigilant who has run away from home. The girl's situation mirrors Danny's so closely that Clockwork figured that observing how they help her was the best way to determine who was the optimal choice to be his son's human guardian. Surprisingly, Batman is the one who best performed the test, so he is chosen to be Danny's human parent.

Why did Clockwork focus on heroes for his test in the first place? Well, It's because they understand Danny's need to protect. Clockwork is excellent at helping Danny with his space obsession because time and space are similar in scope and are deeply intertwined. Unfortunately, though, the lord of time generally only helps people passively and thus cannot understand his son's need to actively save people that he doesn't know and has no emotional connection to.

#danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #dcxdp #Not very important but I imagine that the girl from the test ends up living with her aunt who isn't abusive.

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

Dick: Bruce! How dare you do this to Jason! Bruce, embarassed: I just tried to make him a cake for his birthday. Dick: Well, congratulation. You almost killed him!

#fanfiction #au #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfamily #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #batdad #batfam #jason todd #the batman #batman comics #batman #big brother #gotham war what? #i didn't hear of it #fuck author who didn't understand that abuse isn't love #justice for jason todd #justice for bruce's charachter development #fuck you dc #incorrect dc quotes

[repotting]

a pet peeve of mine is stuff proudly labelled vegan but it's farmed w slave labor. like how is that vegan then.

we made this without exploiting or harming any animals!!! (but the human children forced into dangerous and underpaid agricultural labour to make this product don't matter i guess???)

like how are you gonna try to sell me child abuse chocolate and tell me it's vegan like come on

#this isn't a dunk on vegans my frustration is with major corporations that use slavery but claim veganism for marketing #im not vegan but i try to limit my complicity in child abuse as much as i can manage #anyways stop buying chocolate and coffee not independently verified to be farmed without slave labor it's just genuinely not necessary #speaking as a person who LOVES chocolate and is extremely poor btw like it's still not worth it #op

[bonefall]

"Back in my day we loved our abusers or just disregarded them. We would never smash their heads against a wall until they agreed with us"

So... so you're just admitting you tried to Love and Kindness the abuse away?? You did that??? You think it's BAD to fight back against someone who is BEATING YOU?

Or does that mean, "we never demanded better treatment or justice. We just waited for our abusers to realize the error of their ways, like good victims."

I REALLY hope they get paid enough to go to therapy, this is actual factual abuse apologia. I am once again legitimately concerned for the mental health of these writers

#You can't 'TEACH SOMEONE TO BE LOVELY' out of DOMESTIC ABUSE #Abuse isn't about a person BEING MEAN it's about CONTROL #A conversation about retributive vs rehabilitative justice would be good. Im a fan of rehab justice #BUT NOT IN RESPONSE TO A FAN QUESTIONING A WIFEBEATER GOING TO HEAVEN #At NO POINT has any afterlife EVER been established as a place where rehabilitation happens #Even NOW #CURRENT ARC #ALMOST 10 YEARS LATER #SCREAMING LIKE A CHIMP CONTINUES #WHY HAVE THEY ONLY DONE THIS FOR THE WIFEBEATER #TOM AND CLEAR ALONE!!!!!!! #VIOLENT MEN WHO ASSAULT INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN #AND SEE ZERO CONSEQUENCES #Tw domestic abuse #Tw child abuse

[uncanny-tranny]

People who compare transition to self harm or use real people they know who've self-harmed as a metaphorical comparison to transitioning aren't making the gotcha they think they're making - they're just showing that they don't have the compassion or maturity to engage with either topic at even a conversational level.

And, frankly, it's infuriating as a person who does see those who self-harm as my equal who doesn't need to be used as a cudgel against another group of often vulnerable people.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #and as someone who has self-harmed AND transitioned it's been inherently different. it's not a comparison #and if you wonder why so many trans people have engaged in self harm: social factors. family. abuse. mistreatment #mine stemmed from unrelated abuse largely and also because i wasn't being treated well #absolutely unresolved dysphoria in trans people can inspire that - i know that already. ask me how (don't)... #...but it also isn't inherent to identifying as trans. dysphoria of any kind can make people desperate for any escape... #...and you help them by allowing them space and giving them tools that empower *them*... #...like for me the second a huge part of my dysphoria resolved through transition i was able to start actually fucking LIVING #because for all my life i'd been only able to operate at 50% at most. and now it's more like 80-90% just after transition

[demeterdefence]

i have a lot of bones to pick this chapter and i will get to that but i'm still really pressed by how rachel depicts kronos apparently grieving having to kill hera in her vision

rachel does this really gross thing where at some point in the narrative, she'll have the male abuser depict some kind of sadness in regards to his female victim, but it is not remorse. it really reads like whitewashing the abuse itself because "can't you see how upset the abuser is that he has to do this :("

apollo got that really disgusting pov chapter talking about his perspective on persephone after raping her and that was bad enough, but then you also see kronos and his relationship with hera being sanitized or even shipped, when hera said verbatim that he abused her and she did not want to sleep with him, she had hoped she could just charm him. the narrative explicitly points out that kronos is a chronic abuser - he kills or severely injures rhea in a fit of rage after using all her powers, he frequently drives away any nymph or consort who approaches him, and he spends who knows how long mentally torturing hera.

there's another essay tucked into that but i just find it so fucking egregious that rachel wants to portray kronos as being upset he has to kill hera because of his own feelings for her, when the fact of the matter is he is choosing to kill her, just like he chose to kill rhea, and swallow his sons, and tear hera in half. depicting an abuser (a serial abuser, in this case) as being upset over an action he's choosing to do for his own benefit is ... a choice, and a disturbing one. why are we centering the abuser in a sympathetic light when he is still ultimately abusing someone???

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #abuse ment / #just to be safe #it just strikes me as so ... backwards isn't strong enough it really disturbs me #esp considering the random ass sex scene in the next chapter and THOSE implications #but lo constantly just ... focuses time and energy on the male perpetuators of violence #and not on like ... their female victims lol #and if focus IS given to them it's handwaved away #demeter being tricked into having sex with zeus??? her frequent abuse from hades? nada #also hera saying ''i love you'' to a monster who is capable of killing her and everyone she loves #whom she is sleeping with in order to stop him from destroying everything #and people saying ''yeah that's a ship right there'' #nothing in this rant is coherent these tags are a mess lmao

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.

#it reminds me of that time in 'Alice' (NOT related as vis a vis takes place seasons BEFORE 'Alice') but when B'Elanna says Tom: #'practically assaulted me' Janeway's not taking it seriously at all she says 'that doesn't sound like Tom' and I was like CAPTAIN??? DEATH? #but again that has no bearing on this in-universe bc that hasn't happened yet. REALLY I'm screaming and crying about B'Elanna's self esteem #issues which Steth literally manifested the worst case scenario of #Tom's little gesture when he gets back also goes over so well bc of this in MY mind. #Tom wanting her and Tom being with her is something B'Elanna wants regardless of how he actually acts in their relationship #(as long as it isn't abusive). He rarely puts her first without prompting or complaining BUT...he's a handsome human guy who wants her to b #his girlfriend. Ostensibly. And that's a prize you wanna hold onto. #God I love B'Elanna............ #did she tell ANYONE or did she just sit with that interaction alone??? #her not telling anyone implies that she DIDN'T go 'hey that's not like Tom! I should inform the captain of this incident!' #and that KILLS me dude...she's not like 'Something's terribly wrong with Tom or maybe that's an imposter!' she's like 'Tom said/did that to #me.' SCREAMING. SCREAMING. TOM. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS /BAD/ WITH B'ELANNA.

[fromtheseventhhell]

It's crazy that people still uphold show!Sansa as a well-written character and pretend that liking her is the pinnacle of feminism when it would be infinitely more impactful to acknowledge her terrible and misogynistic writing. This is the same character who, while written by two men, was thankful for the abuse she suffered because it allowed her to grow. The same character who we had to be told was smart because the writers were too lazy to develop or show her intelligence. The same character who had to rely heavily on the men surrounding her and ended up accomplishing nothing on her own merit ( and no, thinking that she deserved to be Queen doesn't mean that she earned it). She is not well-written, she is not complex, and she is not a feminist character. Which is fine! If you enjoy her then good on you, but please stop pretending that she's something she isn't just because you feel the need to justify liking her character

#anti got #anti d&d #anti show sansa #anti sansa stans #like literally one of the worst written characters on that show because they tried so hard to make her the most important #while being entirely incompetent and their only method of doing so was to steal from other characters which ruined the plot #the only arguable achievement was defeating LF but even then it's written in the script that she had to go to Bran to explain things #/she rallied the Vale army!/ no she didn't 😭 she wrote a letter to LF and he did everything. instead of showing her arc in the Vale and #her learning about politics to rally them herself they took the quickest route to give her a /badass/ savior scene #which only ended up making her look selfish + power-hungry for putting her brothers' lives at risk for not telling anybody about said lette #and idiotic in the aftermath after relying once again on LF even though he was very obviously manipulating her #/pawn to player/ sounds catchy on paper but without seeing that growth/development it doesn't work #Arya was terribly written but at least we /saw/ her training in a way we never did with Sansa #and people try to apply this same logic to the books and think she's gonna suddenly spring forth as a political mastermind #when that's not how George writes...we see characters develop and make mistakes on page and get actual earned growth #feminism isn't defending the writing of two men who gave her a rape plot not in the books because they thought it was /interesting/ #when the only aspect of that plot they adapted was a woman suffering abuse :/ #and as per usual with stansas their only /evidence/ of her being well-written is accusing you of being misogynistic if you don't like her

[meredithbeckham]

when you grew up like we did, it… it impacts how you see the world. everything is filtered through a very specific lens. and ward got that.

i think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back, paulo coelho.

#daisyjohnsonedit #daisy johnson #aosedit #daisy x ward #anti skyeward #to be clear this isn't meant to romanticize them it's just exploring a facet of their dynamic i find interesting (and utterly terrifying #and sickening) #how much of daisy's connection to ward to begin with was in their shared abusive backgrounds #how he specifically could understand how she grew up and the impact it had on her and her worldview #it physically hurts me to think about how vulnerable she was with him and how much she trusted him with as her s.o #how much she would have felt for him in regard to his own abuse and wanted to help him and what a role that in of itself would have played #in their relationship and in her feelings #something i think aos does really well is allude to daisy's history - how clear it is that she is a survivor of abuse and how consistently #present that is in how she perceives and navigates the world #it's subtle but so very there #her face in that scene where ward goes off because of the staff. CHILLS #and it hurts me so very much to think of how connected she felt to ward in that regard while he himself was preying on and manipulating her #tucking away every vulnerable detail she shared for later use #how he convinces her to trust him and that he won't turn his back on her just to be yet another person who has abused her #how when he starts talking about how he isn't a good man it must be so easy to think he's just like her - thinking she's bad and worthless #and wrong and unlovable because that's what abuse does that's what it does to you #and daisy is so keenly aware of that so much more self-aware than she's given credit for #abuse / #daisy who is actually able to articulate what ward was to her and who maybe misses what she thought he was sometimes because how could #it not be nice to for a moment have someone who understood #but who is also so keenly aware of who he is and what he has done

[ganymedesclock]

Generally speaking, I grew up on a lot of the big shonens (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, etc.) and have a relationship of fondness with the genre that drives me to frustration with a lot of the weak points many of them exhibit.

Like I can't. not. respect that these series had every reason to get as popular as they did, have many good qualities and iconic characters that linger in people's hearts, while also sighing in frustration at how many of them have "yeah he's a sex pest and all but he's such a funny guy, we won't ask him to change or get better towards women" as a staple character, for example,

#it's the double problem of 'women can't abuse men!' #'female anger is funny and unthreatening even when the girl can explicitly in detail put you in the hospital!' #and 'it is ok and funny and safe if a guy Does Not Take No for an answer to the point that you have to repeatedly deter him with violence' #it's also annoying when the sex pest character is used as an excuse to shit all over any woman who isn't a 16-20yo bikini model #but that's mostly unrelated

[comradekatara]

You've mentioned Zuko's "inability to kill" before, so could I ask you to elaborate on that?

sure. zuko is banished for, essentially, committing treason. he says to ozai that he was banished for "speaking out of turn," but simply speaking out of turn is not actually why ozai banished him. zuko said that people shoudn't have to die for the sake of further empowering the fire nation, and that goes against their nation's entire ethos. zuko lacks, as azula puts it, that "killer instinct that is just so fire nation."

while zuko does set fire to suki's village in his quest to capture aang, and you could argue that he may have committed other such acts offscreen, we never actually see him outright kill anyone. unlike zhao, who kills the moon, and azula, who kills aang in a manner that would have ended the entire avatar line had katara not revived him, zuko threatens and intimidates and harms, but when it comes down to it, he does not actually kill, because he simply cannot.

he threatens to kill zhao, and if he had killed zhao, no one in the audience would fault him for it. zuko does not even burn him upon winning their agni kai, going against custom; zhao calls him a coward for it. zhao tries to kill zuko on multiple occasions, including when he blows up zuko's entire ship. but, when the ocean spirit is dragging zhao under, zuko still extends his hand in a futile attempt to save zhao. contrast this scene with sokka arguing to leave zuko for dead in the same episode. he legitimately does not have a problem with letting zuko die, because, as he says, zuko would do the same thing to them (at least, sokka seems to think so).

sokka kills combustion man, toph kills yu and xin fu, and neither of them have any regrets. conversely, katara cannot kill yon rha, and aang cannot kill ozai. like sokka and toph, they are justified in killing these men, perhaps even more so (since yin and xin fu did not actually attempt to kill toph, "only" kidnap her), but they ultimately choose mercy. like zuko on kyoshi island, aang and katara's actions, such as blowing up the factory in jang hui, may have had indirect casualties (i don't count aang being merged with the ocean spirit because he was not truly in control), but they are never able to kill directly, because when faced with another human being, regardless of how much they may hate them, their pathos prevents them from delivering that killing blow.

zuko, as a foil to aang and katara and the deuteragonist of the narrative, is also someone whose instincts prevent him from being the cold-blooded killer his nation expects of him. it is why, unlike the rest of his family (including iroh), he is unable to produce lightning; he is too sensitive to become the perfect weapon his father wants him to be, which is why azula's reveal is so thrilling and terrifying to the audience, because she is what ozai wants in a protege, unlike zuko, who try as he might, fails at embodying the fire nation values of ruthlessness and power at any cost.

#some caveats before anyone misinterprets me: #1) zuko has still done awful things. i am not saying that he is 'inherently good' or that because he has 'good inside him' that makes it ok #just as i am not saying that azula is 'inherently evil' for having that killer instinct. morality is far more complicated than that #this isn't a 'zuko smol bean uwu' post. i'm just stating facts from the show #just because he never directly killed anyone and just because he was abused into believing he was doing the right thing #does not mean that he did not do bad things (burning suki's village being the most tangible harm we see him cause iirc) #he just cannot kill people directly which is crucial to understanding his character esp as he relates to aang and katara #2) i am not faulting sokka and toph for killing people! and anyone who thinks that i am saying that is a dumbass. ok bye #asks #zuzuthelord #analysis #zuko #not tagging everyone else

[greensaplinggrace]

i'm still so mad about how supposed alina fans think it's actually better that she isn't as attached to or compassionate toward the darkling as she is in the books. like it isn't more empowering to her or less sympathetic to the villain when she acts like a one dimensional darkling hating paladin in the show, it's just a deliberate stripping of anything unacceptable about alina's complex feelings or emotions regarding her traumas that don't fit into a neatly ordered box of 'perfect victim' and 'empowered female'.

people will really see a female character get sanded down into a performative caricature and think that it's better for her because she's been fictionally lobotomized into thinking acceptably to the masses. like ok, just say you fucking hate trauma survivors and go.

#alina starkov #grishaverse #shadow and bone #i think about that darklina anti who was so happy the writers #'were brave enough to not make alina as attached to the darkling' #because apparently it's annoying and really just a ploy to sympathize with the abuser from a narrative perspective #like come on #have you considered #that people have complex relationships with their traumas? #have you #sorry but this psses me off its not even about darklina its about #misinterpreting alina's relationship with him as something that it isn't #because youre all predisposed to resenting a character so much #that you overlook every other characters' personality

[recitedemise]

𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is very much advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.

First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own foul blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.

Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her, and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion; to the very quick of his bones, she lapped them up.

Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.

Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.

Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.

Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.

Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.

Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.

Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.

Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.

After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.

Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.

At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.

Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.

As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.

And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.

Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.

Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.

Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.

And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.

Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)

Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.

He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.

The answer is: entirely.

For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.

Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)

Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.

They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.

Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.

Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.

He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)

Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.

Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.

Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.

Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.

#HEADCANON. #Oh... anyway. This. Was. A lot. #And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write. #So much of this hit home. #Gale isn't perfect. He can be petty and immature—a byproduct of not being all too good at venting his frustrations when #it gets to a point. He has very bad self esteem. He is not forgiving of himself and is too forgiving of Mystra. #He endured FOR DECADES the cold indifference of a goddess he called his lover. #I know people dog on him because he's a grown man with these hurts and traumas and responses #but just because his trauma manifested in ways you don't find palatable or hot or sexy #doesn't mean they aren't scars left by trauma buddy!!! #And quite frankly that bit about God Gale sounding vindictive and angry #yeah! SOMETIMES people who have so cold and uncaring and belittling a partner #end up angry. You shoved someone into a corner and hounded them for SO LONG. Don't start crying when they rear back on you and bite #I have a deep connection with godhood Gale. But obviously a healed Gale that finds love and acceptance in himself is so much healthier. #I'm rooting for you Gale (always). #So much of this was typed up with a lot of first hand experience so... to say this was a Gale exploration #as much as a way to navigate my own trauma is an apt one. #No two tales of abuse are alike of course. Gale's experience isn't my experience. But I can sympathize a great deal. #TL;DR: This meta post means a lot to me. K. Thanks.