#will actively avoid things i think are too good for me it happens it happens

[bullet-prooflove]

Letting Go: Will Trent x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @@cassiopeiablog

References to Trying Series

Will visits Angie once a year, always on her birthday.

You know when it’s around that time because there’s always a subtle shift in his behaviour. He becomes more subdued, his temperament sharper. He spends his nights in the office instead of coming home, immersing himself in whatever case he can get on his hands on. His preoccupation is a coping mechanism, a way of outrunning the memories. You know this time of year takes him back to a dark place, one he’s spent years trying to claw his way out of.  He doesn’t tell you about the war it wages inside him, that he despises the fact he still feels an obligation to Angie, that even from beyond the grave she still has that power over him.

During the first year of your relationship, he tries to hide it.  This thing between the two of you is new and he doesn’t want you to think he’s still caught up on his dead ex, that he’s cheating on you with a dead woman. He becomes distant, cancels plans. He actively avoids you because you’re intuitive when it comes to him, he knows you’ll see right through him.

It’s the day after he visits Angie’s grave that you show up at this house with two cups of takeout coffee and breakfast pastries.

“It’s an olive branch,” you tell him. “I’m sorry for whatever I did…”

It’s that that changes everything. The fact you think that you’re the problem, that you’ve come here to try to rectify it. It’s in that instant he realises just how insidious his connection to Angie is, how it has the potential to derail the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Over breakfast he tells you everything. It comes out in stops and starts because he isn’t sure how to describe his relationship with Angie, how to tell it in a way that doesn’t fill him with shame. He’s worked so hard to move on, to get past her but once a year he finds himself drawn back in and he hates himself for it. You hold him in the aftermath, his face buried in the curve of your neck as your hand smooths over his hair.

It's another reminder of just how different you are from Angie, she would never shown him this warmth, never given him her affection. She would have hated you, how good you are, how kind you are, all the things she couldn’t be.

It’s been a couple of years since then, his life has changed. He has a wife now, a baby on the way. He almost forgets about Angie. He’s too busy decorating the nursery and overhauling the garden so his child has a place to play. It’s only in the morning when you place a bouquet of yellow roses on the kitchen table that he remembers it’s even her birthday.

As usual the gravesite is overgrown. It’s a nice plot under an oak tree, one that Will picked out himself. He was the only attendee at her funeral, the only person to put a handful of dirt on her coffin. He’s the only person in the world who ever cared about Angie, who loved her flaws and all, and it shows. He takes his time tidying it up, pulling up the weeds from around the headstone before he arranges the roses carefully within the metal vase.

“It's over Angie.” He says softly, placing his hand on the earth, his fingertips curling in the dirt. “It’s time for me to let you go.”

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#will trent #will trent x reader #will trent x you #ramon rodriguez

[drumlincountry]

EVERY fantasy book EVERY scifi novel every starwars movie every post apocalyptic show. I ask, WTF??? The same same question EVERY time. Say it with me - WHERE’S THE FARMING?

#ursula k le guin is guiding me. hand on my shoulder. #approx 200 generations of agriculturist ancestors stand at the other shoulder and they are yelling #where does your food come from? who makes your clothes? #who repairs them? #how do you store these things? how do you preserve them? #What fuel do u use to cook how many people are you feeding? #look. too much of the art i consume comes from the imperial core/global north where most of us have to think about where our shit comes from #approximately none of the time #but if u are writing about an alternative world u HAVE to have these systems #i just watched the gay episode of TLOU and it was pretty good in that regard but in the early part the guy had chickens #excellent move good work #and then the chickens never reappeared?? nor the food garden? we only saw leisure activities? which sure u could have some time i guess. #but what the fuck were you feeding those chickens? did ur big metal fence keep foxes away too? #and then at the end [spoiler event] WITHOUT LIKE. REFERENCING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THE ANIMALS? #YOU HAVE DEPENDENTS MY DUDE. YOU CAN'T JUST [SPOILER]. #and how do those quarantine zones work? those walled citiess? we saw the land 10 miles to the east and it was wilderness? #and weirdest thing there was pasture? grazed pasture? but no animals on it? is this city land? #why weren't the fugitives avoiding it? why was it in the middle of forest? #or was it some other self sufficient person? in an underground bunker? who herded all their sheep in when they heard people coming? #which if u have ever worked with sheep. good luck doing that urgently. #me fein #agriculture

[waywardsalt]

:3

#some tag rambles bc im having a bunch of loz thoughts to hey why not do a short lived tag ramble #starting with the bad i have thought more on how i feel totk fucked up its characters and its like. yeah any arcs that are there are bad #zeldas is dogshit all of the sages are just. VERY tell no show and it really doesnt matter and otherwise idk #nothing wrong with a static character but imo with a static character you then have to show more of them #reveal some things. also doesnt really happen. the main speaking cast are also kinda weak in relation to link #they dont really work off of him very well bc hes… not treated like a character. hes just some virtuous everyman in the story #so theres no actual chemistry between him or the other characters bc he isnt treated a character so like. he has almost no chemistry #its all mostly one sided and none of the sages but zelda have any real chemistry with other major characters either #and the major characters zelda has chemistry with barely matter so fuck it. like when ppl talk abt like. loz stories #and ppl talk abt how yeah they arent the best but totk is rlly bad. i dont feel like any other loz stories are baaaaad #not in the same way. but they dont feel as egregiously fumbled. imo its bc of the characters most of them time #ofc story can be strong enough and im not discounting stuff like mm and oots themes and atmosphere and stuff #it seeeems to me the most popular non zelda sage is tulin? but mostly bc hes a sweet kid and thats fine and all but there doesnt seem to #be much else to him hes otherwise kinda unremarkable bc he just doesnt do much else and seems to exists mostly to serve gameplay and plot #botw did it better bc the champions actively had a dynamic and a relationship with link they arent the deepest but they have more substance #botw zelda is arguably the strongest character in botw with a unique personality and genuine relationship to link even if we just see it #in the memories and seeing her warm up to link is cool but imp they fumble it in the ending of her arc and how it kinda contradicts stuff #and in totk they doubled the fuck down on her unlocking her powers for reasons related to link and decided ig shed figure she needs to be #links forever bestie and hypeman and she kinda just revolves around him in a really superficial way and this is the negative extreme #of a character being bolstered by being connected to link. but anyways in loz its the characters that tend to be the strongest points #and the characters with a clear dynamic and relationship to link shine the most. think groose ghirahim ravio midna fi marin linebeck sheik #the list could go on but the characters who get a chance to shine by interacting with the Player Character are the ones who stick out #and ofc they get more screen time but they cant avoid that character development or general character fleshing out bc they are in some way #tied to link and in a sort of way link himself is more fleshed out through how those other characters react to him if that makes sense #i think loz is at its best when a good bit of emphasis and effort is placed on characters and character relationships #and when thise relationships and character are written well ofc this fucking matters too #anyways thats why ph is one of the best we love our character heavy black sheep them ds characters carry so hard and so fucking well mwah

[grison-in-space]

Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

#murderbot #empathy as a tool #note that this is not necessarily natural empathy #it's cognitive and only happens when the adrenaline eases off #going to work my way though the existing published series before I dig into my brand new copy of the new one

[ludwig-van-gaythoven]

Cabin Fever - (Regina George x F Reader) Part 2

Fandom;

Mean Girls (2024)

Pairings:

Regina George x Reader

Summary:

The students of Northshore go on a school trip for a week in the forest. You end up getting to know the apex predator in a way you’d never seen her before.

Warnings;

Underage smoking, underage drinking, ED mentions.

Parts

Part 1// Part 2//

Regina doesn’t say a word to you, or even glance your way.

She storms in and throws her bag down onto the bed next to yours, sweeping your clothes onto the floor with her hand. You open you mouth to protest but she cuts you off.

“Not a word, loser.”

Loser means she hasn’t got anything specific against you. No blackmail material, no weird rumours. Loser is a good place to be.

You sit on your bed and watch in silence as she starts to replace the pillows on the bed with her own pink pillows and satin blanket. She takes up over half the drawers for her own clothes, moving yours into a single pile at the bottom of the shared wardrobe. She puts her makeup and toothbrush, both varying shades of pink in the bathroom. She’s marking her territory.

“Don’t touch my shit.” She scowls, flips her hair and swiftly leaves the cabin. Her faint vanilla scent lingers in the air. It’s both intoxicating and sickly.

You wait a few minutes before you leave too, just to make sure you don’t accidentally bump into her and make yourself a target. The last thing you want is to be Regina’s plaything of the week.

Todays activity would be orienteering. You stand around the campfire pit, avoiding the crowd, waiting for instruction on where to go.

“Please stay in your room groups, follow the map you’ve been given. You’ll be taken to where your group will be starting, just follow the map back to camp. Everyone understand?”

There are excited chatters as everyone groups up with their friends. Unfortunately for you, the crowd parts to reveal Regina who’s giving you a look like she might murder you in the woods and leave you there.

You wait, in silence, next to Regina, for a camp member to pick you up in a jeep and drive through the forest to your particular starting point.

“Please don’t make me, don’t leave me here. I’m too pretty for this” Regina whines as the keep drives away, leaving you both stranded in a clearing.

Against better judgement you decide to speak. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go with Karen and Gretchen.”

“Whatever, just give me the map.” She snaps and snatches it from your hands. Wordlessly she stomps off through the trees. You have no option but to follow like a lost puppy.

As it happens, Regina isn’t a great map reader. And lots of the forest looks identical which makes it even harder. Your feet start to ache, you feel like you’ve been walking in circles for the past couple of hours.

“Can I please just look quickly, I trust you know where we’re going but I think I should still just look at the map” you try to reason which was clearly an awful move because she starts to turn around slowly to face you.

She moves,she’s stalking you like prey as she comes towards you.

“Are you calling me dumb?” She growls.

You shake your head, suddenly unable to speak, afraid that any sound past your lips would make her pounce.

“I’m reading the map, loser. I don’t want to be stuck out here any longer than necessary.” She spins around and continues her forward march through the forest.

This is going to be a long day.

It’s been hours since you or Regina said a word to each other, and hours since you started walking. You hadn’t stopped for a break. You managed to eat an apple while you walked, throwing the core into a bush but Regina hadn’t taken her hands off of the map to eat, drink or give you a look at where you were going.

You felt for your box of cigarettes in your pocket. Regina probably wouldn’t turn around or notice, and you needed one now, Regina is really starting to test your patience. Just as you put the cigarette to your lips ready to light ,Regina’s knee buckles and she trips slightly, heading straight for the ground.

Instinctively you go to catch her, both hands under her arms.

“Get off me weirdo.” She barks but it comes out a little more strained than usual. She’s gone pale and there’s a sheen of sweat across her perfect forehead. Somehow she’s still effortlessly beautiful.

She pushes herself up and tries to keep walking but her legs start to falter again and you rush forward again and catch her as she faints.

You try calling her name, shaking her gently, offering her water but nothing brings her round. Her hands feel cold.

Fuck.

In a panic you call the emergency number a teacher had given you and someone says they’ll come to collect you both in a jeep and administer first aid.

Regina comes round before the jeep arrives and you can feel the anger and embarrassment radiating off her. You try and think of something to say. She doesn’t speak to you the entire way back.

Everyone stares as they see you both come back to camp after being picked up but Regina plays it off well, bragging that she even gets treated like royalty here. You admire her ability to make quick excuses, and to be honest she still looks like royalty. Beautiful blonde hair cascading past her shoulders, icy blue eyes, sweet vanilla scent, outfit still perfect. Only you noticed the lingering sweat, the nervous look in her eye and the slight grass stain on the back of her jacket.

When the car stops Regina gets out and immediately goes to find Gretchen and Karen to sit together for dinner. Half of you is glad she’s gone, she was starting to get irritating, but you also want to make sure she’s okay. You go back to the table you were at before, you can’t help but watch her again.

Just making sure she’s okay, you repeat to yourself.

This time you watch her eat closely, notice she picks up food and when her friends aren’t looking and drops it under the bench onto the dusty floor. You wonder if that’s why she fainted earlier. You’re not sure why the thought of that makes you angry, and a knot forms in your stomach. It makes it hard to finish your food.

When dinner is over the teachers watch the three girls closely, making sure they go back to their newly assigned cabins. All three comply which means there’s a moody Regina heading your way.

You sit on your bed and pretend not to hear the door open, and keep your eyes fixed on your phone, pretending to read or maybe scroll social media.

The giveaway is that you forgot to let out the breath you were holding.

“If you tell anyone what happened I will ruin your life.”

You just nod, not daring to look up at her until you hear her lay on her bed and roll so she’s facing the wall away from you.

Then you allow your eyes to look at the sleeping lioness, her breathing seems slow. Maybe she’s asleep.

Your eyes trace down her curves- that is dangerous territory. You look away sharply just incase somehow she knows you’re looking.

She’s probably asleep.

You reach over to your bag and try and pull out your switch as quietly as possible. Mario kart, that’ll take your mind off of Regina.

You’re on your third lap when you feel the bed move and smell that addicting, warm vanilla scent.

“What is that you’re playing, dweeb?” It’s like she can’t even ask a normal question without it being insulting.

“Mario kart? Have you never played Mario kart?” You question her, meeting her gaze which seems slightly less intense than usual. To be honest, you can’t really picture someone like Regina playing a dorky game like Mario.

You disconnect the joy cons and throw one at her. She gives you a wary, icy look and picks up one of the controllers, scooting closer while still maintaining a large gap between you both.

You’re disappointed for some reason.

She obviously picks peach, and the pinkest cart, completely ignoring its stats which makes you giggle to yourself. You play as Bowser.

The first race you explain the controls to her, she picks it up quite quickly but you have years of experience on her and win.

She pouts and sends a glare your way. You stick your tongue out.

She giggles, Regina giggles and it might be the best sound you’ve heard. You definitely want to hear more. She doesn’t seem threatening like this. How much of Regina was an act?

The second race, she loses again, you win but not by too much, she’s definitely getting better. When you look over at her, her brows are furrowed and she’s completely lost in the game now, determined to win. The way she licks her lips when she’s concentrating makes you blush, and you’re glad she doesn’t look up.

The third game is nearly neck and neck but you beat her again. She finally snaps.

“What the fuck, you gave me a shit controller! I could have beat you!” She yells.

“Not my fault you suck at Mario kart.” You quip back bravely. She also sucks at losing apparently.

Suddenly she springs up and pounces, desperately trying to grab the controller off of you, but you hold on. You nearly forget why you’re holding it, mostly you’re squeezing the controller to distract yourself from Regina’s hair tickling your face, her lips being so close, her knees either side of your thighs.

She puts up a good fight but you start to see that familiar sheen of sweat and she seems cold and clammy all of a sudden. She must notice this because she huffs out a whatever and gets up, wobbling to her bed.

You miss everything about her suddenly, that one hit of the real Regina was enough to have you addicted.

She lays again, but this time face up, trying to control her breathing. You realise she’s on the verge of passing out again.

“I have a cereal bar in my bag, I don’t want it, you’re welcome to have it.”

She huffs and looks at you.

“I’m not accepting food from anyone after that stunt Cady Heron pulled. Who knows, you might be giving me a bar of lard.” She spits, but you can tell even speaking is hard for her now.

“It was just an offer.” You reply quietly.

Once she’s steadied herself again she stands and rummage through her bag, pulling out a half empty bottle of vodka and 2 plastic cups. She pours 2 shots worth into both and fills it with a fizzy orange mixer. She hands you a cup.

“You better not get too drunk and puke and get me into trouble like Karen.” She says as she takes a sip.

You both drink in silence for a while. The alcohol makes you feel warm and fuzzy, and a little too calm in Regina’s presence.

“Why don’t I know you?” Regina suddenly breaks the silence.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not a new student, so why don’t I know you, I don’t know what you’re about.” She leans towards you like she’s inspecting you.

“I don’t know I just stay out of the drama.” You answer truthfully.

“Huh, boring answer.” She says taking another drink. “You’re friends with Pyro Lez though, that’s not exactly staying out of it.”

You shake your head “I only started hanging with them after that whole mess. Me and Janis have a mutual interest.”

“Is it girls?”

You stutter for a moment and see a glimpse of intrigue flash across Regina’s face.

“It’s art.”

You haven’t lied. That’s what connected you and Janis in the first place, it was a lucky dodge to the question.

She’s staring at you with an unreadable expression and you decide to stand awkwardly and get your cigarettes. You need a break from Regina, this feels all too much like she’s trying to uncover your weak spot.

It’s hard to tell what’s genuine or not.

You sneak outside to your spot from last night and light the cigarette, inhaling deeply, mostly from the butterflies in your stomach, bouncing around your rib cage.

Obviously you noticed Regina at school, who didn’t? But you’ve never had this much interaction with her. You can see why people fall victim to her so easily, there’s a side to her that seems so real, Is this part of her trap? Maybe you’re just easy prey but the chase is feeling all too thrilling.

Everything about her draws you in, golden hair, soft lips, even her scent. Are her lips as soft as they look?

Before you can register, the cigarette is pulled from your lips as you see Regina take a drag and then place it back between your fingers.

You skin burns where her hand brushes yours.

Suddenly she reaches to grip your hand, steadying herself. She clearly feels faint again. She’s swaying slightly and she looks like she’s losing focus.

“You need to eat something.” You state bluntly.

“Whatever you don’t know me.” She spits back, but she’s still gripping your hand. She starts to lean a bit too much.

“Fuck, Regina. Okay we’re going back inside.” You have to half drag her back inside the cabin and prop her up on the bed.

You check the cabins mini fridge, you brought enough food to sustain you that week. You didn’t know if the camp would have vegan food so better safe than sorry. Luckily the cabin had a mini fridge, probably for drinks but you stored some meals in there to keep fresh, and there was a microwave in the small kitchen.

You grab a pot and throw it in the microwave. Hopefully Regina doesn’t mind mushrooms.

She’s still laying on the bed, eyes squeezed shut, trying to get the room to stop spinning. You feel momentarily guilty for drinking with her, you knew she hadn’t eaten, it was a bad idea.

The microwave pings and you grab a fork and take it over to Regina.

“I’m not eating that, it’s probably processed shit.” It comes out as a defeated sigh.

“I made it, just eat something please, passing out wouldn’t be a good look” This makes her think, and she picks up the fork and takes a bite. The whole time she’s glaring at you so you decide to sit on the bed and play on your switch again.

You don’t look up for a good half an hour. Worried that Regina will stop eating if you so much as move. Clearly the whole thing with Cady has made her wary of food. The thought makes you feel sick. The plastics may rule the school but the constant insecurity that seems to come with it is too big of a price to pay.

A quiet voice breaks the silence.

“Thank you.”

You smile slightly but still don’t look up from your game until you hear shuffling and Regina is holding your sketchbook before you have time to snatch it back.

Your heart is in your throat, you’re not sure why her possible criticism of your sketch bothers you so much.

“This is beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, you idiot why don’t you see it, you think, but don’t say it out loud.

She tears the page from your book. Great, Back to cruel Regina, tearing up anything she doesn’t see as worthy.

What you don’t expect is her folding and placing the sketch under her pillow.

“I’m tired now.” She yawns and climbs into bed, flicking the lamp next to her off.

You’re left in the dark, confused, but you can’t help the small smile that creeps across your lips.

#regina george fanfic #regina george x you #regina george #regina george x reader #mean girls fanfic #mean girls 2024 #mean girls #wlw #renee rapp

[stacy-fakename]

I’m sorry, but my type-a ass cannot be against the Rat Grinders. They’re essentially the kids that couldn’t get the special treatment from teachers and get by on stumbling through tests and happening to get an A without studying. The Rat Grinders feel less like people who cheated the system, and more like the kids who aren’t naturally gifted or lucky, and have to spends hours on end studying, doing extra homework and extra credit, losing their social lives and free time to catch up with the kids who can just breeze through it. Fig never went to a single class or did any homework but gets away with it because the coach, lunch lad, and vice principal are her dads, Kristin and Riz did literally the worst thing their respective class can do, Gorgug actively works to avoid using the main feature of his class whenever possible, Adaine became the Oracle through seemingly happenstance, and Fabian’s rich family bought his way into the extra curricular he’s now the captain of, and all of them skipped half of freshman year! Obviously we, the audience, know that they worked their asses off to get through school each year and to get where the are today. We know they earned every little good thing they have! Fig has worked so hard to become the rockstar she is! Kristin literally brought back a god! Riz in a supergenius detective! Gorgug is an incredible barbarian and artificer! Adaine works so hard to help all of her friends survive a toxic system! Fabian slaved away to earn his achievements himself instead of letting his father’s legacy be his identity! But think of it from an outside perspective, without all the knowledge that only the audience has! These random kids stumbled into three adventures that let them skip grinding for XP, got to miss half a year with no consequence, get special privileges and quests because they are related to or friends with the faculty, never do their assignments or go to class, became popular because of their privileges, and now randomly start spouting micro aggressions towards halflings? If I was one of the Rat Grinders, I’d be pissed off too! I’ve been both the gifted kid, seemingly effortlessly breezing through classes and befriending the entire faculty while secretly going through terrible struggle and stress, and the kid desperately trying to game my way through a system built to harm me while being furious at those who seem to thrive in it, and I can’t help but feel empathy for both. I don’t think the Rat Grinders are evil, cheating monsters who plan to destroy the Bad Kids out of spite. I think they’re just kids in a harmful toxic school system that have a lot of righteous anger at their lot in life, that has sadly been misdirected. Idk if this ramble made sense, sorry for the wall of text!

Edit:Introducing Ivy Embra, the first Rat Grinder to actually be antagonistic to anyone in any way! Also introducing Oisin Hakivar, a super nice guy who’s willing to take advantage of his generational wealth in order to help a fellow student! So the first Rat Grinder to actively be nice to someone too! He likely did something with the ice mephits, but he still seemed genuinely sympathetic and helpful to Adaine!

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fh:jy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #rat grinders #kipperlilly copperkettle #ruben hopclap #idk if this made sense #mary ann skuttle #ivy embra #oisin hakinvar

[thats-godscomma]

Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.

What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.

Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.

That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?

Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.

This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.

And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.

Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.

Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.

#i just care a lot about the real-life consequences of having an eidetic memory combined with ADHD #psych #psych tv #psych usa #shawn spencer #henry spencer #burton guster #eidetic memory #long post

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!

I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.

It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.

She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.

Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.

And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.

Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.

During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.

It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.

Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.

But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.

She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.

"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.

"And why should I care...?"

"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.

The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"

"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.

(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"

"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.

"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.

"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.

"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She won't find out."

"Jungwoo..."

"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"

"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.

"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."

She hated how persuasive her best friend was.

She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."

"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.

"And I really hate you."

______________________________________________

The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.

She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.

It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.

She didn't think she could survive alone.

And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.

And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.

She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.

She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.

Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.

But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.

"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."

How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?

She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.

(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.

"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.

"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.

"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.

Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.

"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.

"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).

"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.

The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."

How could she not be?

But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.

Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.

The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...

He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.

Because they made her look good.

The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.

There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.

When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.

It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.

Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?

"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.

"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"

The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?

... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?

A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.

Why did he still look good?

"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"

The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."

"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to you?" She asked again.

Jaehyun didn't answer.

He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.

He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.

He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.

Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.

That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.

With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.

It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.

He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.

At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.

What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.

How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?

But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.

"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.

"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.

"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.

It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.

And she didn't know if she could escape from it.

For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.

"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.

"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.

"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.

(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.

"What was that?"

"I have no idea."

_______________________________________________

The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.

The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.

She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.

The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.

She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.

She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.

And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.

Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.

The bruises were still visible.

She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.

Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.

"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.

"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.

"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.

"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.

"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.

"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."

She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.

"Where's your car?"

______________________________________________

It was fortunate that his car was nearby.

Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.

It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.

At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.

They had just coincided in something and that was it.

(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.

The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.

The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.

The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).

“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.

“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.

It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.

After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.

Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.

She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.

She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.

It was the National Rehabilitation Center.

A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.

Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.

“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.

Curiosity got the better of her.

And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.

“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.

The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.

It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.

He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.

“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.

“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.

That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.

“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.

It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.

He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.

He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.

Not while he hasn't made progress.

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.

"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.

"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.

What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.

Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.

"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.

"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."

When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."

For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.

He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.

He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.

The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.

"Are you coming with me?"

And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.

The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.

Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.

He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.

He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.

They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.

(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.

She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"

Nothing.

That's what he received.

Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.

Jaehyun sighed.

"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.

When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."

"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.

"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."

"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.

Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."

Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.

Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.

Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.

Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.

Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.

The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?

Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?

A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.

Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.

Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.

He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.

But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?

A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.

It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.

There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.

It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.

The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.

His body didn't react as it should either.

And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.

But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.

What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.

Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.

"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."

He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.

Even though that really didn't happen.

(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.

"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.

The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.

She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.

Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.

She had.

"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.

The boy remained silent for a few seconds.

"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."

"By whom?"

"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."

"Why...?"

"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.

"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.

Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."

The girl's expression was one of surprise.

"How do you do it?"

"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.

There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.

"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.

Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.

"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.

That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.

"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."

(Y/N) swallowed.

"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.

"Things got complicated with him after the accident."

The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.

“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”

“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”

“ But it could be” she insisted.

Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.

“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”

The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.

But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.

“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.

"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.

How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?

The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.

(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.

"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.

"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.

(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."

Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."

"What's the reason for your change of heart?"

"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.

The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.

"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.

She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.

______________________________________________

The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?

At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.

But it was impossible.

Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.

She hated being someone who cared too much about things.

Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.

Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.

She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.

"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."

"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.

"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."

"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."

The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"

"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."

The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"

The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.

"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.

"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.

"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."

Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."

_____________________________________________

(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.

The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.

She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.

"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.

"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.

"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.

"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"

The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."

"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."

"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."

"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.

"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."

Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.

"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"

(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.

"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.

Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.

"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.

She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?

She must be crazy to think like that.

"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.

"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."

"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"

"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."

"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"

"I really believe there's something good in you."

"Well, keep believing it."

"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.

Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.

But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?

_______________________________________________

The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.

But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.

What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?

That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.

Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.

An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.

She was in dangerous territory.

And she knew it.

"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.

For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."

Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.

"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."

"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.

"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.

"I'm sticking to that."

A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?

"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."

(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.

"I still believe there's something good in you."

"Why?"

"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.

It was killing him too.

"Let's go to my car," he said.

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.

What was he doing?

When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.

Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.

A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.

"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.

(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.

But what did she know with the privilege she had?

"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.

(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.

"Is this your house?"

Jaehyun nodded.

(Y/N) smiled softly.

"Would you invite me in?"

______________________________________________

He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.

He was grateful there were no one at home.

"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.

"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).

“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.

Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.

"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."

"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.

"Don't you want a different future?"

"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."

"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.

"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.

The words echoed in her head strongly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.

"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"

Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.

Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.

"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.

(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.

"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.

The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.

"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"

"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?

She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.

It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.

Was he looking for something to belong to?

His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.

As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.

And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.

And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.

"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"

Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.

And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.

And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.

But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?

a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae

#nctzen #nct #nct au #nct imagines #nct x reader #mark #nct 127 #jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct x you #bad boy jaehyun #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun #bad boy au #gang au #nct jaehyun #jaehyun au #jaehyun fanfic #nct angst #nct fluff #nct u #nct smut #nct fanfic #nct gang #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun ff

[rosequarzo]

ong omg!! AVEN TIME!!

A short one for a cute brain rot: As for pining, do you think Aventurine would be active in courting you or would he be distant due to his animosity towards close relations- making you the active pursuer if you want anything to happen between the two of you?

If you want, you can give us a prompt of as to what you think pining would be like with Aven? 🫶

Your writing is so edible its crazy 💓💓💓

courting the enigma: pursuit amidst animosity.

૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა • ! aventurine + reader reader is gender-neutral reader is part of the ipc aventuring being insecure tooth-rotting fluff ☆ warning not proofread this was kinda messy to me urm . . . !? & 729 — catalogue

note. hihi!! this was really cute and sorry for the abrupt ending, i didn't want this to get way too long haha... but i hope you like it. tagging @neuvistar @rninies.

Oh boy, I think it would probably be him trying to distance himself from you, due to many reasons. Once the gambler realised he has feelings for you, Aventurine felt like he had transformed into a clown of a circus. He doesn’t know how or when it happened but it was too late, he had fallen head over heels for you. It also doesn’t help with the fact that he had fallen too deep to even find a way out. 

So Aventurine did the only thing he could think of: distancing himself from you. It was frankly confusing to see the usual loud and charismatic gambler suddenly avoiding you like the plague. Whenever he sees you entering his vision, he will immediately bolt out of the place, without sparing you a glance. The first two times it happened, you thought nothing of it since you knew how busy he was, considering his status in the IPC. 

But as time went on and as you began to notice how he was actively avoiding all forms of contact with you, you were starting to grow suspicious and worried. No matter how hard you tried to approach him, he was able to avoid you in a blink of an eye. Frankly, you were surprised with how good he was at running away; like something he had mastered with years of experience. This game of wild goose went on for two weeks until you had reached your limit: you were done. 

“Aventurine-” 

“Oh uh, I have something important to tend to, so if you don’t mind-” 

He awkwardly laughed, back facing you as he attempted to leave the scene, only to be interrupted when you harshly tugged him back. The sudden force made him stumble over his feet, wincing when he was slammed against the wall. Aventurine groaned when his head hit the wall, making him see stars and when it cleared up, his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of you blocking off any possible forms of exits. 

This isn’t good for my heart. 

He nervously gulped, praying with his entire might that you wouldn’t be able to hear how loud his heart was practically pounding against his ribcage right now. With the close proximity between the two of you, he could see every detail of your face. What was worse was how he could feel the warmth emitted from your body. Every part of him was tempted to just lean in and kiss you but he held himself back. 

“Aventurine, why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” You asked, resting your left hand on the side of his head. 

Play dumb, Aventurine. You got this. You are a professional in acting. 

“Huh? What do you mean?” He forced a chuckle, pressing himself further into the wall when you leaned in, practically invading his sense of boundary. 

You scowled, narrowing your eyes at him; obviously not buying his lie. “I’m not stupid. I know you’re avoiding me. But why? If I did something wrong, please tell me so I can fix it.” 

Oh fucking hell. 

“It’s not you. It’s me,” he sighed, shoulders slumping and his response elicited a bemused look from you. 

“I’m avoiding you because I… I like you. And I’m scared that you might feel disgusted or-” 

“Aventurine.” 

The way you said his name in such a firm tone made him flinch. He heard a deep sigh from you, followed by you boldly reaching out to cup his cheeks, forcing you to look at him. He scanned your face and to his surprise, he couldn’t find any disgust, anger, disappointment or hatred. Instead, all he could find was love and concern. 

“You would never make me feel that way. In fact, I like you too. No wait, I love you,” you murmured, your words spoken in such a soft and comforting tone combined with the way you looked at him; like he was everything was a deadly combination. 

“Uh…” 

You were granted the privilege of witnessing Aventurine being rendered speechless, completely taken aback at your confession. You saw how the lightest shade of red dusted his cheeks and you couldn’t help but lean in to press a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips, earning a startled squeak from the man. 

“Sorry, but you’re too cute to resist.” 

And then, he fainted. 

#୨୧ magazine articles #honkai star rail #star rail imagines #star rail x reader #aventurine imagines #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #aventurine x y/n #aventurine fluff

[in1-nutshell]

Ratchet's daughter with the opposite personality meets MTMTE Ratchet

SFW, Platonic, Familial, from poll, Cybertronain reader

TFP/MTMTE

Buddy was starting to think that maybe these little portals were going to become a thing for her. If it was, she was going to start a personal log for it.

Earlier…

The Decepticons had found the location of their base.

They needed to leave.

Optimus was instructing everyone to go their separate ways until they could regroup.

To avoid any call to attention, each Autoboot was to go their separate ways.

That meant Ratchet and Buddy would be separated.

Buddy was nervous being away from her family.

Away from her father.

Buddy holding Ratchet’s servo as Prime activates the groundbridge.

Ratchet’s hold tightens a bit as the swirls grow brighter.

Buddy takes one last look as she looks at the Prime in front.

She slowly let’s go of Ratchet’s servo and walks to the portal.

She takes one last look at her family before running through.

If she went any slower, she would have surely turned back.

She stepped into a mountainous terrain. Perfect for hiding from anyone.

Buddy spent two weeks in the rock formations, constantly looking out for anything familiar or any contact.

She did cry a couple nights wondering what had happened to her team and father.

She missed them all dearly.

That’s when she saw another portal.

Too shocked the portal sucked her in without a second thought.

When Buddy woke up, she looked at an unfamiliar ceiling.

A medical room’s ceiling to be exact.

She slowly lifted her helm.

“Don’t do that. You hit your helm hard when you came in through the portal.”--Ratchet

Buddy turning towards the voice to see… Ratchet?

“Ratchet?”--Buddy

Ratchet turns around and walks towards her with a data pad in his servos.

“I’m guessing you have a Ratchet in your universe.”--Ratchet

Buddy nodding slowly.

“…You’re taking this strangely well. This your first time dealing with this type of thing?”--Ratchet

“Actually, I have dealt with dimensional stuff before. Though they came to my universe instead of me to theirs.”--Buddy

First Aid, Ambulon, and Velocity walked into the room.

“Oh! She’s awake. I’m First Aid and this is Ambulon and Velocity.”—First Aid

Ambulon waves as Velocity gives Buddy a warm smile.

“Wow… I haven’t seen another medical bot in forever.”--Buddy

“What do you mean by that?”--Ambulon

“In my universe it’s just me and Ratchet.”--Buddy

Ratchet now looking concerned.

“Just you and my alternative? What group were you two sent to?”--Ratchet

“Group? We don’t have a group. It’s just the last eight of us.”--Buddy

“…Eight as in a squad, right?”—First Aid

“Eight as in the only Autobots left.”--Buddy

Ambulon drops his datapad, Velocity lets out a large gasp, First Aid and ratchet flinch a bit.

Ratchet places a servo on Buddy’s shoulder.

“Well, you’re safe now kid. At least until Brainstorm finds a way to take you back.”--Ratchet

Buddy nods and vents a bit.

“What’s your designation?”--Velocity

“Buddy.”--Buddy

The medical team raised an optic.

“Buddy?”—all the medics

Buddy crosses her arms a bit.

“My first father gave me it. Before the war started.”--Buddy

“First father?”--Ratchet

“The war? That’s been over for a while now.”--Velocity

Buddy slowly moving her helm towards Velocity.

“What…”--Buddy

“The war is over in this universe kid. Megatron surrendered.”--Ambulon

CLANG!

Buddy faints on the med slab.

“…”—All the medics

“At least she was here when she fainted.”—First Aid

“Kid, appreciate the optimism, but now is not the time.”--Ratchet

Eventually when she recovered from the shock, Buddy put on a brave face and followed Ratchet and First Aid to the main bridge.

Ratchet felt Buddy hold his servo with a death grip when she saw Megatron, but he had to give it to her, she had a pretty good brave face.

She even managed to take her servo out to shake it to the former war lord.

Buddy shaking Megatron’s servo.

“Pleasure to meet you sir.”--Buddy

Megatron, a bit surprised, shakes his servo.

“Thank you…”--Megatron

“Buddy. My designation is Buddy.”--Buddy

“Buddy? That sounds like an earthy name. Were you named on Earth?”--Rodimus

“No sir—”--Buddy

“Please call me Rodimus, Rodimus Prime, Co-captain of the Lost Light.”--Rodimus

Buddy’s optics widen as she lets go of Megatron’s servo.

“Prime?! You’re a Prime!?”--Buddy

Rodimus puffing his chassis a bit.

“Yes, I am—”--Rodimus

“Is Optimus okay!? What happened? Is Orion okay?!”--Buddy

“What—”--Rodimus

It was going to take a while longer than expected for the portal to Buddy’s dimension to work, but Buddy didn’t seem to mind it too much.

Yes, she was worried for her family back at home.

But this beat staying alone in the mountain range.

Buddy naturally met Drift soon enough after spending so much time with Ratchet and Rodimus.

Drift and Buddy got along like a house fire.

Buddy got excited to see the samurai bot every time he came by the med bay.

Drift popping by the med bay.

“Hello!”--Drift

Buddy looking at him with a wide smile.

“Hi Drift!”--Buddy

“How’s the meditations working?”--Drift

“Iffy, its kind of hard for me to get. But I’ll get it sooner or later.”--buddy

“I trust you with that. You’re almost as stubborn as Ratchet.”--Drift

“Is that a challenge?”--Buddy

“I mean—”--Drift

CRUNCH!

Drift accidentally stepping on a wrench.

Buddy venting a bit.

“Drift… I needed that.”--Buddy

“Sorry!”--Drift

Meanwhile Ratchet on the other side of the med bay.

“…Why do I get the sudden feeling of pride?”--Ratchet

So many bots found themselves starting to get soft spots for the new member of the Lost Light.

And it wasn’t intentional.

Buddy was one, soft spoken and gentle in nature. And two was the youngest bot on board.

It was only natural that Buddy would get some special treatment.

Buddy sitting with Rodimus and the Rod Squad.

“What else do you want to know?”--Buddy

Swerve passing Buddy a flavored non-engex drink.

“Your fuel levels were pretty low when we checked, care to explain?”--Whirl

Buddy chugging down the drink.

“Woah…”--Rewind

Buddy finishing the drink.

“What do you mean?”--Buddy

“One. Impressive drinking skill Buddy.”--Whirl

Whirl patting Buddy on the helm.

“Two, a little bird told us that the levels were bone dry. You trying some new diet?”—Whirl

“Whirl how—“—First Aid

Whirl shushing the medic.

“I have my ways.”--Whirl

“Nope. That’s just how they are with our reserves.”--Buddy

“…”—Rod squad

Buddy happily drinking more energon.

“How-how low were the reserves.”--Tailgate

Buddy side glancing at Ratchet.

“Low enough for me to find Ratchet slipping his rations back, I started doing the same. We weren’t needed out in the field much, we don’t need that much fuel. The team needs it more—”--Buddy

Buddy get hugged by Tailgate who is just sobbing on her shoulder.

“Oh, don’t cry Tailgate. I’m fine.”--Buddy

“Yeesh. You sure your not related to Ratchet?”--Whirl

“Ratchet is my father.”--Buddy

“…”—Rod squad

“WHAT!?”—Rod squad

“… I think I made a mistake…”—Buddy

Rodimus draped both his arm over Drift and Ratchet.

“Congratulations you two.”--Rodimus

Ratchet tries to talk, but ends up stuttering, while Drift is just frozen in place with a big smile off his face plate.

“Wait—”--Buddy

“Shush! I bet Buddy got most of Drift’s personality and ratchet’s profession. It all makes sense now!”--Whirl

“Hold on—"--Buddy

Whirl slamming his claws on the table.

“I demand to see a DNA Test!”--Whirl

“Whirl that won’t—”—First Aid

“We need the tests!”--Swerve

“OH, MY PRIMUS I’M ADOPTED YOU BUCKET OF BOLTS!”--Buddy

“…”

Buddy hiding her face with her servos.

“Sorry…”--Buddy

“…Adopted or not she’s definitely your kid Ratchet.”--Drift

Buddy peaks out to see Ratchet looking at her with a smile.

“At least one version of me has something to look forward to.”--Ratchet

Buddy smiles brightly at the comment.

“…but seriously. The tests…”--Whirl

“I can make one!”--Brainstorm

“Brainstorm no!”--Perceptor

“Brainstorm yes!”--Brainstorm

A week later the portal was finally fixed.

It was a tearful set of goodbyes from everyone.

Especially from Ratchet and Drift.

“Hopefully we’ll see each other again.”--Buddy

“Maybe, who knows with the Lost Light.”--Drift

“Yeah, yeah, now go on. My alternative is waiting for you.”--Ratchet

Buddy smiles and jumps into the portal.

When she got out of the portal, she was back in the mountain range.

This time her comms and messages were flooded with unread messages and missed calls.

Buddy let out her SOS button and sat down on a nearby rock.

She would be with her family soon enough.

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp ratchet x platonic reader #tfp ratchet #mtmte x reader #tfp x platonic reader #mtmte ratchet #mtmte drift #tfp ratchet daughter

[sprainedwriting]

Softness within.

Adam x fem!reader

Part 1

CW/TW/Tags: Porn, Car sex, Semi Public, P in V, TW: Adam, COLLEGE AU!!!!, oral fem receiving, tell me if I missed smth, I wrote this at 2 am help me, breeding kink, pregnancy mention

Summary: Adam is either very charismatic or you don’t have a spine.

Adam ended up driving you home, after you punched in your address in his navigation system it didn’t take long for you to pass out. Shaking you awake, you scrambled out of Adam’s car, but sadly you weren’t fast enough since you still had to listen to Adam rant to you about the shit hole of a neighbourhood you live in.

He didn’t drive off till you safely entered your building.

Once you got home you didn’t even have the energy to get undressed, you barley took off your shoes and you were already in your bed. Pros of having a one bedroom apartment: the way to the bed is very short.

When you woke up everything felt like a fever dream. It felt so unreal, you were sure it was a weird sex dream coming up because of your repressed consciousness or whatever. You quickly threw away this theory, once you got into the shower. Ew. Having cold cum run down your thighs was not it.

Right so that happened. For real. Totally couldn’t potentially ruin your social life. That’s cool.

Checking your phone, you found texts messages from your friends. Since you all share locations they were happy to see you home after disappearing. Some kidnap jokes were made. You didn’t bother responding.

And just like that your life continued and you tried not to think of Adam anymore. Since you aren’t in the same friend group, don’t study the same subjects, and you’re just a master of avoiding awkward situations you didn’t see him the past 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks Adam found your insta, snapchat AND your phone number. In that order. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he found your secret AO3 account or something and started to spam you full with comments.

Him actually actively looking for you made you feel some type of way….and once those thoughts reached you, you basically slapped yourself. You have always sucked at responding to messages, your friends just call you when they need you. You didn’t even properly read Adam’s messages, leaving him on delivered. These messages caused you so much anxiety, that you immediately swiped them away in your notifications field when you saw them pop up.

Another thing you were worried about was that your period was 2 days late, which isn’t a lot considering you took Plan B and it messes with your hormones but it still had you on edge so bad. You ended up buying a pregnancy test, which you didn’t end up needing. Thank god.

The last weekend party you skipped. Sitting at home and catching up with work was how you spend your weekend. And once you saw everyone post the party on their stories and the messages in your group chats, your FOMO kicked in so hard that you had to attend the next one. So, here you were leaning against a wall with some cheap soda in your hand, because you don’t drink since you’re boring. And like always when you’re at a party, you realised you didn’t actually miss out on much.

If you could, you would scroll away at your phone. What’s stopping you? Easy:

Adam starring at you from across the room. Tots not uncomfortable. Starring at your phone now would be like throwing a rock at an sleeping ice bear. Since you basically ignored him for 2 weeks straight. You really know how stand in your own way. Some part of your brain told you not to provoke him too much.

Ok you were just going to run away this is ridiculous. Taking a good look around on how you could escape (your friends were going to murder you for disappearing AGAIN) you jumped nearly 10 feet into the air when you felt big hands on your hips and a body pressed against your back. The only logical reaction to this was to step on the guys foot and throw your drink at his face.

“Ow! What the fuck, you crazy bitch?” Adam yelled.

How the fuck was he able to get to you that fast? Without you noticing?? He’s so big what??

“Jesus, dude! You can’t sneak up on a girl like that!” You yelled back.

Thankfully not many eyes were on you guys, and the music was loud so people yelling to communicate wasn’t unusual.

Adam whipped the soda of his face, looking pissed. Thankfully there wasn’t much left in your cup anyways, the top part of his band shirt was only slightly soaked. Act cool, act casual. Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him expectantly.

Even though he looked mad a second ago, taking in the sight of you seemed to cheer him right back up. Maybe it’s because of your short skirt.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Wanna get out off here?” Shit. Goosebumps from excitement crawled all over your skin. He smelled like the sweet soda, but also like deep cologne. Ah, you’re so so weak.

“Always.” The words left your lips before you could truly think about it.

Adam smirked down at you, placing a hand at the small of your back he started to lead you out of the house party.

That’s how you ended up in Adam’s car, while he zipped around town, trying to find a secluded place, his hand was up your skirt massaging messy circles into your clothed pussy. You on the other hand were spreading your legs further apart, trying and failing to muffle your moans. Even though it was at most 2 minutes, it felt like it took Adam hours to park the car. You clawed at his wrist, trying to get more stimulation out of him.

He reached a hand under his seat, sliding it back from the wheel as far as possible, while also reclining the back of the seat.

“Holy shit, babe.” Adam mumbled out, he reached across to grasp your ass with both his hands hoisting you up and successfully into his lap. Once you sat down on his lap you could feel his bulge right under your pussy. You gave it an experimental roll of your hips. Adam bit his lower lip, his hand flew to your hips, helping you grind down on him.

Grasping at his shoulders, you smashed your own lips into his, trying to steal his breath. Fucking hell, you don’t think you have ever carnally desired anyone as much as him. Adam was still grinding your cunt unto his dick by your hips while he explored your mouth with his tongue freely.

Once the kiss stopped so you could breathe, Adam took the opportunity to rip your tights apart, to have better access towards your private parts.

“Man! Why did you do that? You better buy me new ones, asshole.” You told him frustrated.

“Chillax, baby, I will buy you even better ones if it means you let me hit.” Fucker.

Adam pushed your wet panties to the side, gently easing in a finger, “So tell me. Who else did you fuck after me?” His words were anything but gentle.

“Shit..No one. I..I swear, Adam.” You spoke through gasps. His thumb started to stroke your clit.

With his other hand Adam roughly grasped your jaw into his hand, starring into you with his golden eyes. They reminded you of that of a hawk. He didn’t look too convinced.

“Please, Adam, only you can make me cum.” You whimpered out.

Adam grinned at you at your words, “Ain’t that the truth. You better start answering your fucking messages then, slut.” Another finger was entered into your hole, he curled them upwards, hitting sensitive spots which made you moan shamelessly.

“Bad…at replying.” You mumbled out.

Adam rolled his eyes at you, “Yeah, right, give me a better excuse and I might let you cum.”

It’s not a bad excuse, it’s your reality. Even though your screentime was embarrassingly high, messages were your personal final boss. Using both your hands to run them down the sides of your thighs, your right hand met the pocket garter you wear when you’re wearing a skirt, or dress. Pulling out your phone with one brain cell intact is one thing, but unlocking it is a whole other. Pulling up the messages app, shoved the device into his face. He can read. You think. You hope.

Once he stopped grasping at your jaw so roughly, you massaged the tense muscles. Adam scrolled through your chats, he looked very interested. You caught the glimpse of a chat from last year. Yikes.

Laying your head against his shoulder, you started kissing at his neck. You still had fucking hickeys and bite marks from him! Asshole. Adam left your messages app and was investigating your social media now. He looked through your phone like a man on a mission. If you had at least half your mind you would have already stopped him. But the happier he was at your innocence the more intensely he did rub circles into your clit, turning you to mush.

Throwing your phone on the passenger seat- if it bounces off and breaks or gets lost you were going to kill him- Adam placed a hand at the back of your head, starting another forceful kiss. While your tongues were busy, Adam eased the third finger into you. He pumped them in and out of you, testing the resistance. Taking him unprepared would be a really stupid idea.

With a well placed tug of your hair, Adam pulled you slightly away from him, “It’s fucking hot babe, how you ignore other people. Really. But shit, I need you to answer my fucking messages. I’m not like those other fucking clowns you keep around. Got it?” You quickly nodded your head at him, whatever gets him inside of you.

Slowly pulling out his fingers out of you, one by one, he licked a strip up his fingers while looking into your eyes. He pulled down his jeans zippers, pulling out his leaking dick. He gave himself a few good pumps with his soiled hand. Is he not wearing any underwear?? Yikes.

“Now, sit down on my fucking dick.” Adam smirked at you.

A moment of clarity hit you when you remembered the unused pregnancy test you have hidden away.

“Wait! Do you have a condom?” You looked hopefully at Adam.

He looked at you like you just ruined Christmas, easter and his birthday all at once, “What the fuck do we need that for?”

“I’m not interested in pregnancy. Today is not safe.” You told him, you tried to sound stern.

“You would look hot as fuck though, with swollen tits and a swollen stomach. You sure you don’t want me to cream you while you’re ovulating? Besides, it went well last time, didn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you. The gold piercing was reflecting the light of the street lamp outside.

His hand were rubbing at your hips, wandering further up till he helped you take off your sweater. You didn’t bother wearing anything under it because bras suck. He smiled at the sight of your bare chest as if he just won the lottery. He really was moody.

“I’m serious! I bought a fucking pregnancy test, I was so stressed last time.” Adam didn’t even bother looking into your eyes again, his huge hand pulling and rubbing at your nipples and chest. You had to bit your lip to keep from moaning. You had to be strong, at least once. You also really needed to finish this degree without getting pregnant.

“See babe? That’s what you need my number for. So you can fucking tell me that shit.” Adam made brief eye contact with you, before he leaned forward and started sucking at your nipple. His teeth carefully bit down. Your hands tangled themselves up in Adam’s hair. Because Adam pulled you forward for easier reach, your pussy ended up rubbing across Adam’s length. The groan which left his lips made your tit vibrate deliciously.

He really knows how to play you. With his hands he grasped your ass, massaging it before he dragged you across his dick. Your clit caught at his dick piercing, causing you to call out for Adam.

And if you had half a mind, you would simply open up the car door and climb out, to really make your point clear. And Adam would drag you back in, while complaining and get a condom somewhere (hopefully). But the risk of him actually letting you leave was not something you wanted. You just really needed to have him fill you up.

Tugging at his hair, he removed his mouth from your boob. He smiled at you, “Finally ready to get dicked down, baby?” Adam asked you in that arrogant tone of his.

Your own hands wandered across Adam’s chest, till you finally tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to take it off. Adam slightly sat up, removing his shirt and throwing it on the passenger seat. Fully taking in his tan olive skin, you realised just how hot he truly is. There was a scar across his right ribcage, his nipple piercing just made him 100 times more attractive, his ample stomach made you want to straight up cannibalise him while his happy trail made your mouth water. What a man.

Grasping his cheeks into your hands, you tilted his head up so he could properly look at you. Your thumb grazed over his lips, “Adam, sweetie..” You cooed down at him. You felt his dick twitch under you, “Don’t you want me to ride you till you’re sucked dry? I can only do that if you get a condom. C’mon…” His eyes were starring into your own.

Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, removing your hands from his cheeks. His face didn’t show any ounce of emotion. Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. Before regret could fully set in, Adam started swearing under his breath. He leaned forward suddenly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth, while he rummaged through the glove department. Successfully he pulled out a condom, while probably also cursing you.

He leaned his back properly against the seat, ripping open the condom package with his teeth. Adam then glided the condom on his dick, after you scooted back to give him some space. Once he made sure everything was secured, you leaned forward to kiss him again. His hands were grasping your hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh.

Once the kiss stopped, you grasped Adam’s dick, lining it up with your pussy.

During your two week Adam break, you really told yourself that that would be a one time thing. That next time you would say no to him. That you don’t really need him or his attention and touch and whatever else he can give you. Well, you’re also a big fat liar so there is that.

Placing your own hand on Adam’s hand, you tugged it off to intervene your finger. Biting down at your lip you slowly glided down on Adam’s dick. Your other hand was placed on his shoulder, nails digged into this skin.

Slowly sliding down on him, your mouth fell open at the stretch. Adams eyes were focused on your pussy swallowing him whole, “You take me so well.” He groaned out.

Once you were fully sat down on Adam’s cock, you panted in the stuffy air. Taking a glance to your right, you saw the windows were all fogged up. At least you have the illusion of privacy.

Adam’s hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing at the fat and massaging it. He slowly rocked your hips back and forth with that movement. His other hand squeezed your intervened fingers, he then pulled your hand towards his mouth. Kissing your finger tips while looking into your eyes.

Ah. Why does everything he do make your head spin? Did he do fucking witchcraft or something on you??

Grasping with your hands both his shoulders, you started rocking your hips back and forth. First at an slow and careful speed, but then you started going faster. Till you started going properly up and down on him. Adam’s hand went to your tit, fondling and pinching, while his other hand moved from the back of your neck towards the top of your head. You stopped questioning Adam’s behaviour a while ago.

“If I knew you looked so hot on top, I would have let you ride me immediately last time.” Adam told you, his eyes were jumping all across your body, it seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look, “But damn, babe, we really need to get you on birth control.”

“S’expensive.” You mumbled out.

Your forehead meet his neck. Maybe you should exercise more, the burn in your thighs was getting intense.

“..You getting tired there, baby?” A breathy chuckle left his lips.

Adam forced your movements to stop, to sit down properly with his hand moving to your hip. He smirked at you, probably knowing he was going to give you another unforgettable experience. Why couldn’t he have been average in everything he does? Noooo, he had to blow your mind away. Damn him and his solid experience.

Adam started thrusting up into you. First at a slow and deep pace. getting you used to the sensation, then he went faster and faster. His piercing scrapped against a sensitive spot in you.

“Right there!” You gasped into his neck, you then started to kiss and suck at his skin. Leaving your own mark. His one hand was still on top of your head, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair.

Thankfully Adam is decent at following orders, he kept up his pace, hitting the spot over and over. You could feel an orgasm approaching. You were probably straight up moaning against Adam’s ear, but he doesn’t seem to complain.

“I can promise you, baby, ‘m gonna get you whatever you want as long as ya going to be my lovely cum dump.” He mumbled out.

Woah orgasms and meaningless consumption??? Your two favourite things!

All you could muster was a whine. Because that was a big commitment. Maybe you’re going to ghost him again. An extra rough thrust made you see stars, and the ghosting idea left your mind and maybe you should marry him and be a housewife and give him as many children as he wants.

You threw your head back at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and- ah, that’s why he had his hand on top of your head, when you slightly crashed your head into the car roof. It was more shock than anything else, but it still scared the orgasm out of you. Damn it.

Adam stopped his movement’s, his brows were furrowed at your scrunched up face. His hand rubbed at your head in concern, “You good?”

You nodded your head at him, looking into his eyes with your own teary ones, “..I lost my orgasm.” You mumbled out in the most pathetic voice imaginable. To your own defence, it is the worst thing to happen to you today.

Adam looked at you with a blank look for a split second, before laughing at you. You hid your own face behind your hands, embarrassment cursed through your veins. You’re stupid. Why did you say that?

With the way Adam was laughing at you, you felt his dick jump inside of you, which in turn made you clench around him. Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, yanking them down and he smiled at you like a wolf.

“Well..Who am I to say no to my favourite slut? You want to cum? I’m going to make you cum.”

Why is he so hot!!!! You were going to smash your head again into the car roof.

You already thought his pace before was intense. Now? It was brutal. The scraping of his piercing, his hands on your hips and ass, his dick stretching you apart, his stubble rubbing against your soft skin. His constant fucking talking.

“Ugh, babe, you got such a tight cunt. Squeezing me. And you say you don’t want me to cum inside? Ha. Yeah, right.” Adam started rocking your hips back and forth, your clit was rubbing against his jeans.

“‘M more surprised you haven’t got anyone pregnant with that raging breeding kink of yours.” You whimpered into his ear, then you bit into his ear lobe. That was more to be annoying than sexy, but with the way he groaned and his dick twitched inside of you it seemed like it had the opposite effect.

You really would have missed his words, if you weren’t paying attention enough,

“You the only one I wanna get pregnant. Those other whores don’t deserve to have my cum.”

Why do you feel flattered….Something is really, deeply off about you. You need to up your medication.

It felt like hot flames were pooling in your lower stomach, you felt intense, near painful tingles on your clit and thanks to Adam’s constant rhythm of your clit rubbing against the rough fabric of his jeans it wasn’t a surprise that an orgasm washed over you. Your nails dug into Adam’s biceps while you squeezed around his cock.

“Fucking hell, you wanna milk me dry, huh?” Adam groaned, and with a few hip thrust of his own he came. You kinda missed the feeling of his hot cum shooting into you, but you would take that knowledge to your grave.

You rested your face into the crook of Adam’s neck, trying to regulate your breathing. Your legs felt like jelly. Adam was also breathing heavily, his hands rubbed up and down on your back. He stayed inside of you.

Realistically you knew that he had to pull out, to keep the contraceptive working but on the other hand..You just wanted to stay like that. Having Adam not talk for once was a relaxing change. And having his big warm hands on your back, which was starting to cool down, was just pure bliss.

“..You know, we could always do the pull out method.” He mured into your ear, trying to sound seductive.

You couldn’t help but snort at his words, “Yeah, sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you could pull out of this.” You lifted up your one knee, your skirt was lifted up by it and it gave Adam a clear view of your filled up pussy.

Adam couldn’t even look you in the eyes too mesmerised apparently by the sight, it was emphasised by Adam’s dick coming back to life again, twiching and growing inside of you.

“..Shit, you’re right.” Adam grasped your waist and lifted you off off him. He removed the condom, tied it up and threw it somewhere carelessly on the backseat floor. Yikes again.

He rubbed at his chin, probably thinking of what to do next with you. With a hot flash across your body you remembered his promise from last time. Thinking of it, you could fit on the floor in between his legs. Maybe. It would be uncomfortable but you also seemingly have no self respect so what does that matter?

“Get in the back seat.” Adam told you, you nodded at his words. Ok. You can crawl over there. Adam gave a light slap to your ass and chuckled at your surprised gasp. Successfully making it back there, you made sure not to step on the discarded condom. Why is he like that?

Adam grabbed another condom, since he was too big for anything really, he couldn’t crawl back there like you. Instead, he used the doors, like a normal person. Couldn’t be you.

Your head was against the window, and when Adam opened the door car door and crawled onto the seat and flashed that smirk of his you knew you were a goner. Out of seemingly instinct your legs slightly opened. Adam closed the door behind him- yay to the illusion of privacy!- and then he grabbed your ankle and tugged your roughly towards him.

A surprised gasp left your lips, you were laid down now, with Adam towering over you. He once again secured the condom, then he bent down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping he secured against you. His left arm was supporting his weight against the seat, caging you in, while the other hand was sensually moving from your stomach towards your pussy. He drew patterns into your pubes which made you squirm uncomfortably. Maybe you should start shaving. He then rubbed his thick fingers across your slit, probably checking if you were still wet enough for him. He grazed your clit and it made your whole body jolt.

“Every time a girl shaves her pussy an angel dies. I swear on it.” Adam mumbled out. If those words were meant for only him or if he noticed you being uncomfortable, you didn’t known. But it made you feel somewhat more comfortable.

Adam lined up his super duper magic dick against your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You wrapped your one leg around him, since the other was squished between his body and the seats.

With slow and deep thrusts Adam rocked against you, now you realised how much the car must have moved. The pleasure was building slowly but surely. Adam was quite for once. Pussy so good it shut Adam up?? You’re sure you can put that on your resume.

You wrapped your hand around Adam’s bicep, to steady yourself. You squeezed the soft flesh, looking mesmerised at his big arms. He smiled down at you and flexed his muscles, making them rock hard. You squeezed again and swore under your breath. At this display you remembered actual strong men, and how fat is needed for muscles to be functional and you remembered seeing Adam carrying 2 heavy ass amplifiers on his shoulders as if that was nothing and oh. You need him. Badly. Thankfully you have him.

Using your one hand which was at the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you. Teeth clashing and tongues dancing and spit getting everywhere. It was all consuming and still not enough.

Once the kiss ended, Adam rested his own forehead against yours. You worried for his neck and the constant way he has to twist and bend it to reach you. You gazed into each others eyes, mouths panting into each other and the street light from outside let warm light flow in. It felt like you couldn’t avoid Adam, he was wrapped over you, completely covering you from every angle and he was inside of you, throbbing and twitching. You were breathing in the same air. And you didn’t want him to leave, if you could you would capture this moment and stay here forever.

Why does this feel romantic?

It seemed like you weren’t the only one who thought that, since Adam straighten his back suddenly, as if he forgot what you are to him.

When you looked up into his endless eyes, he was slightly frowning, but that expression changed as soon as it came. Maybe you imagined it.

He grabbed your face roughly and forced your mouth to open wide for him. You let your tongue roll, and rubbed his thumb against it. Hot. He removed his tongue only to spit into your mouth. That’s also hot??

You closed your mouth to swallow his spit.

He seemed rather satisfied with that. He sped up the pace, skin slapping against skin and your moans and gasp and his grunts and string of loosely connected words which you weren’t paying attention to left his mouth. His smug face kind of pissed you off, so you reached out and twisted his pierced nipple.

Adam stifled his own moan by biting down on his lip. But the pleasure he felt from that, he couldn’t hide from you.

And once Adam came, he bit down on your neck. Great! More marks you will have to hide. Ughhh.

The way Adam immediately slowly pulled out of you surprised you. He seemed to enjoy staying in as long as possible. Your brain was a bit to slow to catch up with Adam’s movement. His face disappeared between your thighs, under your skirt and ah-

“Wait. You don’t have to…” Your sentence was interrupted by your own moan.

Adam’s lips latched around your clit and he sucked. Hard.

Overstimulation immediately cursed through your veins, your fingers found themselves at home in Adam’s hair and you tugged. Nails massaging Adam’s scalp, this is probably what heaven felt like.

His tongue traced idle patterns into your clit. Probably spelling his own name again…Asshole. But since you were already close when Adam was fucking into you romantic missionary style, you came with a sob and your body curled into itself. You tugged Adam away from your overstimulated hole. The fact that you were clenching around nothing made you a bit sad.

“If I ever say no to fucking you, honey pot, I need you to take me out the back and shoot me in the head.” Adam told you matter of fact.

You dumbly nodded at his words. Whatever he wants he can get. Genuinely.

“How are you so good at everything?” Your already barley existent filter was gone now in a post orgasmic haze.

Adam laughed at you, “What can I say, I’m a real pussy pleaser.” He sat properly up in the seat, tugging everything away properly. He must have thrown the condom away when your brain was still mush. Reaching over he grasped your arm and dragged you into his lap.

Once you rested your face against your shoulder, bare skin against bare skin and the heat radiating from his body you felt sleep over come you. Adam grasped your shoulders and shook you awake. Literally. You thought you were going to fall on the nasty floor where your guys used condoms laid around. At least the only condoms there were yours?

“You fallin' asleep on me again, baby?”

“Yes. So. Silence, m’tired.” You barley mumbled out. Throwing your head into Adam’s neck again.

“Get back to the passenger seat, slut. I’m driving you home.”

Groaning as if Adam just killed you, you crawled to the front again. There you also put your sweater back on and pocketed your phone. Your keys were also safe with you. That’s good, you love not being locked out. You adjusted your panties while you were at it.

Resting your head against the window, you closed your eyes again while Adam got back into the drivers seat. Turning on the engine, he started driving towards your home.

Since you were half asleep, it felt like it took a second for Adam to arrive in front of your apartment complex. You mumbled out a tired ‘Thanks for the ride.’ and climbed out of the seat.

“You know usu-“

You slammed the door shut before Adam could finish that sentence. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear him. Simply walking towards the entrance, you opened the door and opened it fully by pressing your side against it. You couldn’t care less about the usual. The less you knew of other girls the happier you are.

You looked back at the car, to at least wave Adam bye or something, but when you saw him slam his head against the wheel you stopped in your tracks. You watched the display of his frustration for a few seconds, he then raised his head, probably to check if you got in safely. He froze in horror when he realised you saw that.

Truth be told, you didn’t think Adam was capable of embarrassment. But here he was.

Holding eye contact for a painful second, you simply shook your head and quickly got inside. Walking up the stairs towards your apartment, you unlocked the door, threw off your shoes and collapsed into your bed.

———————————-

Since you usually keep your word, you started texting Adam back whenever you could. At least that seemed to make him happy. You think. It’s hard to tell over text. You also made an appointment with your obgyn, or as Adam called it your ‘Pussy doctor’. You’re close to blocking him.

On Monday, you walked with your friend towards her car in the uni parking lot. You were going to meet up with your other friends for lunch.

Of course Adam was also there, his car parked right across your friend. Gahh. His band members were with him, he just unlocked the car when everyone tumbled in. You could hear your ex call out, “Dude, what the fuck?! Are those used condoms!?”

You were going to kill Adam and then yourself. WAS HE WINKING AT YOU?? He’s dead. Thankfully no one noticed.

Your friend made a face at that info being yelled out across the parking lot, she unlocked her own car and got in. You didn’t hear more from the exchange, but from the way Adam looked happy you knew he was taunting your ex.

Your friend fastened her seatbelt, “I don’t get how anyone can fuck Adam. Like, he’s so disgusting, disrespectful, misogynistic..”

Biting at your lip, you already knew your friends would be mad at you if they found out about you and Adam from someone else besides you. Looking around the car, to make sure the windows were really closed, you took a deep breath.

Adam was in his own car, signalling to her that she has the right of way. She made a quick thank-you-wave and was about to back out of the parking space.

“I did.”

She slammed into the breaks, causing you to be catapulted forwards. The way she starred at you without saying anything, made you uncomfortable. She was speed running all the stages of grief, you could clearly see that. She sighed heavily, like the whole world was resting on her shoulders with your confession.

“……..Is he really that big?”

#hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #cw smut #hazbin hotel adam #adam smut #hazbin hotel adam smut

[avenshine]

overall aventurine relationship hcs!

a/n: writing to get a better feel of his personality (also because i miss him!)

warnings: fluff, not proofread, usage of they/them

-> first meeting

aventurine is careful and does not use the word friend ‘loosely’, he genuinely means what he says.

so when you first meet him, it seems almost if he’s deflecting from his true intentions, what did a member of the ipc want with you anyways?

he smiles, almost too fake to seem anyway genuine — but you give him the benefit of the doubt.

you introduce yourself to the man, smiling at him, nodding, everything. it couldn’t hurt to do that, at least. he does the same.

-> becoming friends

after a while, he can’t seem to get you out of his head. why is that?

not because he’s thinking about dating, no! he’s just.. intrigued? that’s what he’s telling himself anyways. but why is he feeling like this? he doesn’t know.

if you were both saying at the reveire then yeah, he would definitely see you again— no need to fret, he thinks.

as if you had the ability to read his mind, you appeared again! and you two talked, and talked and realized hey, this is actually a pretty pleasant conversation we’re having. maybe we should become friends? he suggests, and so you two do.

-> crushes

it’s been a few months now since you two met, and avoidance is the only thing that’s been on aventurine’s mind. that’s all he thinks about. why was his heartbeat slightly faster around you? why did he find himself doing things for you he wouldn’t do for others?

then he thinks, and he thinks, until in the end the word ‘love’ comes up. he’s not in love, is he? god, he is, no, he’s not. he’s basically picking off the flower with ‘they love me, they love me not..’

he had to accept his feelings now, otherwise he would lose his opportunity to date you, just to be yours forever — and he couldn’t let that happen, that’s no good!

so he swallows his pride, placing his final bet, where he’s sure he won’t lose, onto getting your heart!

-> confession

in all honesty, he’s never done this before— so he wants this to be the perfect confession, but how does he do that? he’s not sure.

he spends time scrolling his phone mindlessly on how to do it, watching every tutorial around, and in the end, he just decides he’ll do it in his own style!

he enjoys a full day of activities with you. ending the day off with somewhere quiet with an amazing view, and a small thing of your favorite dessert, asking you if you could turn to him.

“so, i was wondering if,” he bites his lip, trying to find the right words inside his brain. “if you wanted to go out sometime?” and he feels so much better when you say yes.

-> dating

aventurine is the type to spoil you rotten when he finds your love language. when you two first dating, he didn’t ask— just wanted to see how you reacted to the different ones, and shows his love from there.

though in general, he spoils you rotten, he gives you so many kisses, his favorite being your forehead and lips. something about it is so secure, so perfect.

and when i say spoil; i mean expect to get a different gift every day. he has the credits, he loves you, what more of a reason does he need?

overall, he hopes he can make you happy & in love with him for a long time!

#🥣 day’s works. #aventurine headcanons #aventurine x reader

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

#sorry for randomly dropping that trolls reference but it’s exactly what husk’s song felt like! #i hope my statement about sex workers didn’t come off as bashing anyone!!! #it’s just important to know it hard and can be extremely dangerous #don’t let some onlyfans girl with a pink wig trick you into thinking it’s fun just because she used her check to buy disney tickets or smth #sex work is (and i cannot stress this enough) WORK. LABOR. #anyways teehee thank you for reading!!! #anti vivziepop #anti hazbin hotel #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazmat hotel #🍯

[hecateslore]

💌

supervisor!Simon

You pull away first, Simon has a puzzled look on his face, “You okay?” he asks, hands still cradling your face, “Yeah I’m good.” 

Your heart was pounding out of your chest, “this is a bad Idea.” you say, running your hands over his chest, trying to soothe yourself. Simon sighs, “It’s okay,” he says softly, “we don’t have to do anything.” His hand brushes over your cheek. You nod and touch his hand, rubbing the skin of his knuckles. 

You both were quiet, touching each other innocently. Running your fingers over the shape of his lips as he dozed off into sleep. His eyelashes rested on his cheek, and his lips parted slightly. You could watch him for hours, you wanted to and you did. You played with his hair, you ran your fingers over his arms, and listened to the soft snores that came from him. 

How could someone be so beautiful? You thought. You looked over at the alarm that was on the tv stand, it read 3:30. You sigh and take one look at him and doze off. 

Later in the morning you wake up very slowly, dehydrated, drowsy and hungover. You noticed the side Simon slept on was empty. Your heart sank a bit, you were drunk but not drunk enough to forget what happened last night. You hear the toilet flush in the bathroom, and the faucet starts running. 

Five minutes later Simon comes out, his hair disheveled and eyes a little puffy from sleep. He lays back on the bed slowly and quietly, probably thinking you were still asleep. He sighs at the softness of the mattress. “Good morning.” Your voice raspy, you sit up, eyeliner smudged on your waterline from your poor attempt at washing your face. “Good morning.” he says back. 

You guys are quiet for a moment. Staring at whatever you can in the room, trying to avoid the inevitable. “I liked last night.” you break the silence. He hums, “I did too.” he sits up. “Shame I was drunk.” He says, you chuckle at him. “Me too.” You turn to look at him. He gives you a small smile, you lean over to give him a peck on the cheek, right above his dimple. 

“I’m gonna go pee.” you say, “tmi” he lays back down. 

-

When you got out of the bathroom, Simon was actively trying to fall back asleep, shifting around, moving the pillows. “Are you seriously going back to sleep?” you ask in disbelief, “Long night.” he yawns. “Let’s at least get breakfast.” you go over and tap him. “I need sleep.” he groans, “I’ll buy you something.” he opens his eyes, 

“I can manage.” 

-

You guys sit in his car eating greasy breakfast burritos wearing last night's clothes. 

“I hope I’m not shitting where I eat.” he says looking straight ahead at the half empty parking lot. “What do you mean?” you ask, inspecting your burrito for your next bite. “With you,” he says. 

“With me, what?” you say and take a bite, finally. “I want to keep seeing you,” he sighs and then continues, “I don’t want that to reflect at work.” he finishes. “Why would it?” you ask confused, “Look at you and Johnny.” He replied. “You’re not Johnny.” 

“I know,” he balls up the wrapper, and tosses it in the bag, “I don’t want you to hate me if this doesn’t go anywhere.” he explains. You nod, “Are you gonna take me on a date and tell me I look good?” you raise your brow. “Well, no.” he rolls his eyes playfully. “Okay then.” you take one more bite out of your burrito and then toss it. “Eventually I’d like to take you out, though.” 

You smile at him and he leans over the council and pecks your lips, “Gross, You taste like burrito.” he cringed, “I just ate!” you bellow. He snorts at your reaction.

-

Simon drops you off at your apartment, and you maybe made out for like 10 minutes before someone honked at you guys, forcibly making you exit the car. But no one needs to know. Once you get inside, you undress in the doorway and get ready to lay down and lounge all day. Your phone had been dead all last thing and all this morning. You sigh walking around your apartment in just your underwear. You plug your phone in, head to the bathroom to take a shower, get out, get dressed and crash until monday morning.

-

Monday you walk into work with an unusual pep in your step, excited to see Simon? Maybe. You two were texting all morning wondering what you guys were gonna do at lunch. You liked it, the attention and the thought of being lovey-dovey with Simon. 

You open the door to your office and see Simon chilling by the front desk talking to one of the older women. He looks up and sees you, he gives you a small wave and you wave back. You walk up to him and all the ladies that were sitting near him (Lady magnet methinks!) 

“Hi.” He grins, “Hello.” you smile back adjusting your bag strap on your shoulder. Simon raises his brows and you say hello to all the ladies. You walk to the back and go to your desk. Sighing at the brief interaction also at how handsome Simon looks. His blue button up fits so well and those goddamn thighs. You roll your eyes at how fine he is. 

“God’s favorite.” you mumble to yourself and start setting your desk up for today’s work.

-

Johnny walks into the office, You look up and make eye contact with him, he smiles at you and you wave at him. At some point Simon came back into the office, you barely noticed when he did. You were filling out some life insurance paperwork, not paying attention to anything. 

That's when someone taps your desk to get your attention, you look up expecting Simon instead it’s Johnny. “Hey,” he says, rocking on the balls of his feet. “Uh hi?” you say confused. “Did you get my text?” he asks. “What text?” you reply even more confused. “I wanted to know if you wanted to do a re-do from last time.” he smiles, “Uh” you drawl, “I’ll have to think about it.” You smile slightly masking the confusion on your face. “No worries.” he drums on your desk and goes back to his. 

You sit in shock, you want to say ‘what the fuck’, but you don’t. You want to text Simon, but you don’t. Maybe you’ll dump the info on him later. So, you finish your paperwork and try to not piece the weirdness together. You wait for lunchtime, doodling on your sticky notes. 

That’s when Simon comes out of his office, He looks at you and nods to the door. You, already clocked out, practically sprint to him (reader plz get up.). Johnny watches you two from his desk, he notices the way you almost reach for Simon's arm as you walk through the door. His suspicions may be correct. 

-

You both walk out of the office, “Today’s weird.” you huff, Simon throws his arm over your shoulder and you wrap your arm around his waist, “Now what?” he squeezes. “Johnny wants a do over.” You adjust your arm, holding him a bit tighter. “Are you gonna?” he asks. “I told him I was gonna think about it.” you admit. Simon sighs at you, “So you’re thinking about it?” 

“Dunno.” you shrug. He sighs again, “What Simon?” you ask. “Nothing.” He rubs your shoulder (great supervisor!Simon, now my pussy is wet.🤨) “Simon,” you urge leaning into him some more. “He’s just doing it cause we’re chummy.” he shrugs. “You think so?’ you face screws up in thought. “I know him.” he affirms, “He’s doing it to be a dick.” 

You guys get to the supermarket, you get your sandwich and chips, Simon gets some weird prepackaged salad you have to assemble. You guys sit outside on the store's patio, eating quietly. “I want a crisp.” he reaches for your bag, “you can have a chip, go ahead.” you say as he is already searching. “It's a crisp.” he holds the chip up. “It’s a chip. You reply, turning the bag around. “I’m sure,” he snorted. You flip him off, “That’s rude." 

-

“So you and Johnny.” he sits back and crosses his arms. “I’m not gonna go if that’s what you’re worried about.” you say shaking the bag of chips. “I’m not worried about it.” he shrugs watching you. “Seems like you are.” You tease. “I’m not. Johnny’s weird.” 

“You’re weird.” You joke. “Ha, ha.” he laughs sarcastically. You finish your sandwich and hear Simon list off thirty reasons of why he’s not worried and also why you shouldn’t go. Half of them were just, “he’s weird, don't go.” and the other half of them were, “He’s a jealous prick.” All said thirty different ways. Not that you were paying attention. 

“If you go, I will not talk to you, ever again.” he says casually, “That’s very manipulative.” you point. “I’m aware, that’s why I said it.” You snicker at his response. “I said I wasn’t going like thirty minutes ago.” 

“Good.” he says, you roll your eyes at him and reach for his arm. 

You could get used to this. (don't jinx yourself lol)

taglist:@darkravenqueen98@shunoodles @lovely-giggles @imjustmes @definitelynotaclown @oreo-cream @whos-fran @ilovehyperfixating @idkbbyx3@pieckyghost @mareiasereia@emmalandry@aylaveyou@w00lgathering

#supervisor!simon #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #ghost simon riley #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #ghost fanfiction #task force 141

[hotchfiles]

lovers wait.

pairing: james x reader (as plot device), remus x reader

content warnings: mostly teen angsty (small problems turned into huge life altering situations because of feelings and hormones) and a bit of fluff. steamy make out at the end but nothing pass that. underage drinking. mentions of throwing up (nothing graphic). reader insert with no use of names or “y/n”. just teens being teens.

word count: a bit over 3k

loving james was easy. too easy almost. you didn't share similar personality traits and you didn't like quidditch all that much, but you met james when you were both just seven year old kids who happened to become neighbours. talking to james was easy, you didn't mind saying the wrong thing to him, or sounding dumb or silly, after a guy catches you peeing in a pool and throwing up in the middle of diagon alley, there's no much else you can do to be embarrassed about.

being around him was easy. too easy. so when he asked you out by fifth year, it seemed like the right thing to do. and the date was good, it was fun, it was just like hanging out with a friend.

kissing james was easy. too easy. no butterflies, no blushing, no kicking your feet thinking about it. but he was james, everyone believed you would be married by the end of school years, your parents and the potters often talked about how it's going to be beautiful to have both families united like that.

it was familiar, it was fine, it was... was it really supposed to feel so bland? you often wondered, but by then you were already officially dating and you were more often than not found around him and his friends, merging both friend groups, boys and girls, into one.

you all spent a lot of time on gryffindor's common room, where you would read while, like right now, passing your fingers through james' hair and waiting almost excitedly for remus' commentary, as you were coincidentally, constantly, reading the same book.

"c'mon, all girlfriends wear it and go cheer their boyfriends during matches, please, please, pleaseeee do this for me." james lips opened once more to whine about how you were a terrible terrible girlfriend for not going to quidditch practices or games and not wearing the red shirt with his name. rubbish, you always thought, you went to finals, that was more than enough.

"james it is not my fault you decided to play such a toss of a sport, i already have to avoid enough bludgers on the games i do go." you said in a firm tone, but still hoping just him would hear it, of course that was a only a hopeful dream, as every single one of your friends groaned at you, all of them siding with james, were you that bad of a girlfriend?

you just didn't feel like going, and didn't think your cheering on him was that big of a necessity, his abilities wouldn't suddenly get better, would it?

you looked at remus hoping he would help you out, as he was the one who understood you the most there, he liked books, and tea, and warm sweaters, getting chocolate as a treat and being comfortable in silence. but all you got was a shrug, "i do watch james play all the time, grumpy, can't help you, and i don't even get a snog after." you and james both snorted at the term, during those three months of dating you had kissed a lot of times, mostly pecks though and even deeper kisses wouldn't go as far or passionate as a proper snog. it was gentle. it was familiar. it was nice. it was easy.

remus instantly noticed he had struck a nerve, being as observant as he was, and he glanced quickly between lily and sirius, the only two who knew his secret, the only ones who saw him actively fall for his best mate's girlfriend. lily knew because after a while all she could notice was how remus looked at you the same way she looked at james. both suffering of the same evil.

sirius got pulled in the loop after he told remus he found the way you two dated very... weird. it was all the three could talk about after, remus insisting they shouldn't meddle, saying you were just a reserved person, lily and sirius saying that james wasn't and he also didn't make much effort to touch you. it was a whole conspiracy club talk point.

but now remus had some sort of proof it wasn't just you and james avoiding eyes, you two weren't couple-ly alone either, that reaction for a simple snog comment gave him hope he didn't feel before, burning bright as his heartbeat got twice as fast, he just needed to wait.

and wait he did, enjoying his time with you in the library, secretly finding ou what book you were beginning to read so he could do the same and have more to talk about with you, he would get up earlier than normal just to wait for you, as you always took time to read before getting ready for the day, he waited for your presence in each decision he made for his day, when your classes would end so he could wait outside and walk you wherever you were going.

remus was always observing quietly what made you laugh, and what made you angry or sad, trying his best to be as close as possible while still being loyal to his friendship with james.

it felt almost suffocating to you, not in a horrible way, but you were always counting the minutes for when he would show up and stumbling around your words to answer to his questions about you and your childhood and how your day was. he was always around, his cologne making you feel weird, but you enjoyed the company, especially when james was always busy with quidditch and would never read your recommendations.

it was a particular cold morning and you had forgotten your scarf and would be late to class if you went to get it, so all you could do was shiver and complain to your friends and boyfriend, hoping for at least the comforting words of understanding.

"grumpy, take this and stop complaining." you heard remus respond, the only one who would call you that, and you actually enjoyed it even if it wasn't a flattering nickname, the sound coming from his lips was amusing, pretty, it got you warm without anything else. you looked at him thinking he would give you something to warm you up, and you were almost right as he got closer to you, your breath suddenly weakened by the proximity, feeling the fabric of his scarf on your neck after he took his own and put it on you, adjusting so it would maintain your face warm as well if you looked down.

you didn't stop shivering though, feeling chills run through your body as the warmth of his voice touched your cheek, "better?" you nodded quietly, but you felt sick under his eyes, you were positive you were going to hurl as your stomach wouldn't stop twirling around. it felt like an eternity, like the world had stopped, but it was only a few seconds.

you spent the rest of the day lost in thought, repeating those seconds in your mind countless times and some of the times wishing it ended with a kiss. james didn't even think to give you his scarf or jacket, and you couldn't even blame him, it would not be your first thought if it was the other way around.

but it was for remus. and you felt that sudden urge in the pit of your stomach to be around him all the time, hell if you could catch a glimpse of his eyes you would even watch quidditch matches. lucky thing he didn't play.

you felt like you were going insane, truly going mad and it just got worse right before you and james got to the six months dating mark, you sent a letter to your mother, asking her to send some special chocolates "like from other countries and stuff, mum" you said quickly in the note your owl delivered her, your mother obliged happily, suspecting it was a gift for james.

but it wasn't. you had told remus your father always got you different chocolates when he traveled, and he got so excited you just had to get him some, you were blushing just at the imagery of him happily eating those.

it all came crashing down on you when you finished wrapping them, lily asking if it was a six months gift for james.

you weren't even keeping up with how many months had passed, so obviously you didn't even think about buying him anything. you were definitely going mad, your heart broke at how badly you were treating your best friend, you first friend, your first kiss. the fact you had to do something about it made your body itch, already uncomfortable with the idea of losing james.

that day you left the gift you got for remus in your room, wore gryffindor colors, wrote potter on your forehead with red paint and cheered as your house team won the match against ravenclaw. you saw how happy he was and you held in your tears feeling absolutely awful for what you were about to do.

his eyes sparkled when he noticed you, running to you and surrounding your body with his arms in a familiar hug, a kiss on the forehead where his name was written, "i can't believe you came, it wasn't even an important game."

"you're important to me and i realized i haven't shown that well enough." you hardened your grip around his waist, tears fighting the way down your cheeks. you looked up at him and his eyes changed, confusion and worry taking in, but before he could ask anything, you took his hand, pulling him with you far from the gryffindor mass of people in the field.

"what's going on? why are you crying? you know i'm not good with tears, please." he blurred out as soon as you stopped walking, worried sick that something had happened to you.

"i don't think we can keep dating, james." it was a whisper and it wouldn't be heard if you weren't so close to each other and so far from everyone else. your eyes closed with as much strength as you could, tears being forced down by it. you kept your arms hanging by your sides, feeling unworthy of hugging him, and you waited what felt like an eternity for him to be mad, angry, you waited for the questions and the guilt. but it never came, so you opened your eyes and he was... smiling.

relieved.

"thank god, merlin, thank god, i thought i was mad for a minute there." he finally let out, you could feel how happy he was just by the tone of his voice, that was not at all the reaction you were expecting, it was better, obviously, but you were simply speechless and confused, not knowing how to reply to his relief, so he just kept going, sitting on the grass and pulling you down with him. "my mum told me we should go out and i thought maybe she was right. she was not."

"why didn't you say anything? i was almost crying the whole game, and i look pathetic right now because i wanted to please you before destroying your heart." the laugh you got from him with that was almost inhuman, and you weren't sure if it was because the thought of his heart being destroyed by you was too unreal or because you did look pathetic with his name written on your forehead.

"at first i thought it was supposed to be like that... or that it would change with time." he looked up to the sky, the sun still out but not bright enough to hurt his eyes, he took a deep breath and shook his head, laughing again at the situation. "and then months went by and i was terrified i was going to hurt your feelings."

"apparently our six months anniversary was to come this week." the fact he obviously had no idea, just like you, made it all even funnier, ironic even. "so i did what every good girlfriend would do. i bought expensive candy to one of your best mates."

"nooooo, good godric, woman, i thought i was an arsehole, you always surprise me." his dramatic silly response earned him a slap on his arm, strong enough to hear a loud yell from him as he felt it.

when you came back to the common room it was full of life and irresponsible drunk teens, you were happy with how things turned out but not at all in the mood to deal with that, so you went to your room, hoping to get clean and be alone with your thoughts for a bit.

you found remus waiting at your door, messy hair, red eyes and nose, an empty cup of what you imagined was firewhisky in hand. "been waiting for you." your whole body trembled, he looked and sounded gorgeous even drunk.

"sorry, i had to talk to james." you answered with a smile and you felt his eyes burn into your soul as he looked at your face, especially your damn forehead, remus closed his eyes for just a second, licking his sudden dry lips before speaking again.

"you and potter--" he pointed at the name, smudged already, with the hand that was still holding the empty cup, "doing well, and i... was waiting." you tilted your head, confused at the scoff he added to the end, the game wasn't even finished that long ago. you tried to touch his hand but he refused the touch. "if i wait long enough they will see." remus chuckles, but his eyes are sad, you can see it, you've been used to his warm eyes and they looked cold, lifeless.

"remmy, you're drunk, let's get inside, i've got you those chocolates we talked about!" you say eagerly, opening the door and hoping the promise of sweets would be enough to get him inside and sit him down on your bed, you were worried he would fall off the stairs at that state. you leave the door open as you get inside, getting the package you so carefully wrapped, showing him with excitement.

he was careful, slow, confusion written on his face as he took his steps towards you, blinking quick and hard trying to sober up, he left the cup on your nightstand and took the gift from your hands, both of you not making any sounds, the heavy breathing from both filling the room as he unwrapped it and saw how many different brands and flavors filled the box you gave him. "why... you didn't have to... i don't..." before he could go on a spiral of not deserving such treat, your index finger glued to his lips, stopping him.

you felt his lips quiver under your touch and that sent chills down your spine, you were unable to move, unable to speak, you were nervous, afraid you were going to do something stupid, scare him off. his eyes suddenly regaining that warmth you knew it fit him so well, if only for a second.

remus opened his mouth and you dropped your hand on instinct, "i... love you, so i waited. was sure you and james would break up." your eyes widened at the confession and explanation for the obsessive talk about waiting. "think not." he shrugs, eyes on your forehead and you quickly scrubbed your palm on the paint, trying to get it off, your focus going everywhere and nowhere at all, all at once.

you felt like your heart was about to beat itself out of your mouth, "this stupid thing was to break up with james, i wanted to be a nice girlfriend to him at least once." remus heard that and without a word left your gift to him beside the firewhiskey cup, reaching out to you, strong and needy as one of his hands went straight to the small of your back, earning him a quick sigh from you, mixture of surprise and pleasure, he took your chin with his free hand, lifting you to face him.

you held your breath without even noticing, counting the seconds for him to finish his move, but remus didn't, he just looked at you for seconds too long, you battled your nervous system and let your desire for him win, pulling him closer by his neck until your lips finally touched.

just that little touch was able to flush your cheeks, feelings you couldn't comprehend or explain yet rushing through you as his tongue asked for permission to deepen the kiss, which you gladly give.

his lips were soft on yours but his hands now holding your waist were definitely not, the mere thought of having them mark the sides of your body giving you the confidence to pull his bottom lip lightly with your teeth, and remus moaned, obviously enjoying it and you could swear to any god that you would do anything asked from you just to be able to keep getting those sounds from him.

you walked backwards to your bed, his lips leaving yours for air but quickly going to your neck as he followed your steps, you sat down and pulled him with you, laying on your pillow and feeling his weight over you, it was your time to moan feeling his leg in between your thighs as he switched between soft kisses and strong sucking your neck.

when your hands went to get his shirt off and his went up your skirt you realized what was almost happening, reality settling in above the teen hormones, "rem, rem." you put both palms up his chest, making him lift from his original position, the lack of his weight and warmth over you almost too much to bear. "you're drunk... and i... i've never done this before so... could you wait a little more for me?" you were concerned for him, obviously you didn't want him to do anything he would regret, but you still felt embarrassed by your confession, being a virgin at fifteen was not weird at all, it was the norm, but still it felt weird to say it after all the feelings that made you burn for remus just right now.

"will always wait for you, grumpy." he pulled you into a warm, strong, side hug, kissing the top of your head as his hand caressed your arm, up and down.

"guess i did get a proper snog after cheering on james." you laughed, and he laughed. this was easy, it was familiar, but still... it made you feel like you could implode by how many different sensations you were feeling, emotionally, physically, mentally.

this was love.

#marauders #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #james potter #marauders era #marauders fandom #remus x reader #remus x you #remus x y/n #remus lupin #james x you #james x reader #james x y/n #james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #marauders x y/n #marauders x you #marauders x reader #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #lari writes sometimes

[goldennikko]

NO BOYS — le sserafim

summary : the girls keep the boys away from you, who are all making moves on you and trying to get your number.

pairing : le sserafim x 6th member!reader

tags : f!reader ; idol!au ; reader is '98 liner ; platonic!eunchae ; protective!le sserafim ; jealous!le sserafim

requested: ✔

word count : 4.8k

your visuals in the kpop industry were no joke. everyone was aware of how stunning you were up close, and the pictures online and videos on television could not do you justice.

this sparked a massive uproar among netizens, particularly idols. many idols openly admitted they thought you were attractive and even expressed their admiration for you. while others remained silent, netizens still noticed how they stared at you at music shows.

of course, the girls heard about it. when they first met you, they all agreed you were stunning. the elegance you exuded and the bright, albeit slightly shy, smile you wore had them swooning.

they thought it was amusing to see the boys almost trip over their own feet while exchanging bows as they passed by you. at the time, sakura was seen smirking into her fist and the girls side eyeing the guy was caught on camera, and the video went viral.

you, on the other hand, were unaware. the girls didn't really tell you and you weren't very active on social media either, preferring to avoid it due to the possibility of encountering negative comments. you preferred to have your peace of mind, especially given the nature of your work.

it was amusing at first because you had no idea what was going on and all these men are trying to be lowkey despite their desire for your attention. however, it was beginning to grate on the girls' nerves because they were becoming too obvious.

this all happened at an award ceremony.

you were backstage trying to fix your earrings while ignoring the chaos around you. the staff were running around helping the girls with whatever problems they were having and some of them were holding cameras to film the behind-the-scenes.

"and here we have y/n unnie." you smiled at chaewon through the mirror, winking at the camera because your hands were too busy trying to lock the earrings. "i gave her that."

chaewon seemed pleased with herself; you weren't finished yet, but she thought it looked good on you as it accentuated your features because your hair was tied back, and you only smiled in agreement.

"chaewon-ie did a good job choosing this pair." you commented before huffing in frustration. you turned to face the short-haired girl, handing her the other earring you couldn't seem to lock. "help me?"

chaewon complied and handed the camera to a staff member, who accepted it and pointed it at you two to continue filming. chaewon stood in between your legs, taking your chin to tilt your head to the side, as you leaned against the vanity mirror to match her height. the leader remained silent as she struggled, but the click made you both sigh in relief.

you grinned at her and wrapped your arms around her waist. "thank you~"

chaewon wrapped her arms around your shoulders as you both stood there watching the other members get ready. eunchae, after finishing her hair and makeup, found herself in the middle of you two.

"i'm nervous." eunchae admitted quietly.

you exchanged a glance with chaewon and were quick to dispel the maknae's doubts, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. chaewon merely watched, knowing you had it under control.

"it'll be okay. you'll do well, okay?" you whispered.

"what if i make a mistake?" eunchae murmured and you could hear the fear in her tone.

you chuckled. "you won't. if you really did, that's fine. you know i'll fight off everyone for you, don't you? don't think about it too much and just have fun."

you poked her sides, making her squirm and laugh. "if things go wrong, i've got your back, okay?" you whispered and squeezed her gently.

you looked at chaewon and pointed to the other girls, catching sakura's soft gaze as she watched you three. "we have your back."

eunchae sighed, not because she was frustrated or worried, but because she was confident. as eunchae melted against your embrace, chaewon pinched the precious maknae's cheeks.

you started messing around with eunchae so that she would relax and chaewon joined in. the staff watching cooed and took a video because seeing the leader and eldest dote on the maknae was too cute to pass up.

because the other half of the room was occupied by you three, the other half near the door was the only one who heard the knock. sakura opened the door, their manager standing nearby, and was surprised to see juyeon from the boyz standing at their door.

despite her confusion, sakura returned the boy's 90 degree bow. "yes? what can i help you with?"

juyeon blushed, embarrassment creeping up on him. "is… is y/n-ssi here?"

sakura's face turned sour as she realized where this was going, and she turned around, jumping, when she saw kazuha standing right behind her. yunjin, the only one still at hair and makeup but close enough to hear the question despite the loud laughter on the other side of the room, was staring intently at the door.

sakura returned her gaze to juyeon, smiling apologetically at the boy. "she's kinda busy right now."

that wasn't technically a lie because you were really busy making the maknae smile, but it wasn't entirely accurate either. juyeon shook his head, relieved that he wouldn't have to embarrass himself in front of you and disappointed that he didn't get to see you right away.

"can you please hand this to her?" 

juyeon handed her the bouquet of flowers, which she accepted and handed to their manager. before running away, the boy bowed and thanked her. sakura shut the door and exchanged glances with yunjin and kazuha, their manager walking away to put the bouquet somewhere else.

"who was that?" yunjin asked.

sakura shrugged. "juyeon from the boyz."

"he likes unnie, too?" kazuha queried, glancing at your crouching form. they watched chaewon help eunchae onto your back and unconsciously smiled when you grinned at the maknae's excited giggle as you stood.

"everyone does." yunjin answered, thanking the makeup artist as she was finally let out of her seat.

sakura let out a sigh. "expect a lot of her admirers to approach her tonight."

yunjin groaned, complaining that they should leave you alone, while kazuha made a mental note to be more observant later. to the relief of the staff, you finally summoned them and they rushed to join you.

you were dressed differently than them because you were going to perform with an idol as the show's opening number later on. because you wanted to surprise them, you didn't tell them who it was. when yunjin was close enough, her hand fell to rest on your bare waist as she stood behind you.

"y/n unnie looks so pretty." she mouthed the english compliment to the camera, smiling when you leaned against her as you conversed with your japanese members.

time flew by and the girls were soon called to take their seats at their assigned table. you were going to be alone because the performance would begin after everyone had taken their seats and the girls didn't want to leave you on your own.

"i'll join you in a bit, girls." you laughed as you were engulfed in a hug by kazuha and eunchae.

you looked at chaewon as they whined in response. despite the fact that she did not want to leave you, chaewon stepped in to help you.

"come on now. you want to see y/n unnie perform, right?"

that prompted the maknaes to pull away, but it took them a long time. when they did, you pinched eunchae's cheek and rested your other palm on kazuha's palm.

"i'll join you in a bit, yeah?"

the girls nodded and you smiled as they wished you good luck.

the girls soon found themselves sitting on a table near the stairs leading up to the stage. it hadn't even begun yet, but loud screams could already be heard throughout the area. the girls tried to interact with the fans by waving at them and they were met with squeals and the blur sound of their names being yelled.

then screams erupted again as it was announced that the show would begin in a few minutes and the lights on stage were turned off. the girls scanned the stage quickly and eunchae pointed to your silhouette as you approached the center, followed by another idol. 

they could tell he was a guy by his build.

the area was quickly filled with music and the spotlight was on you. the girls couldn't hear the noise of the crowd, only the music you were sexily dancing to. your dancing skill were impressive, but your expressions, smirk, wink, lip bite, and everything else left the girls speechless.

they couldn't take their eyes off you because every move you made hypnotized them. you cast a quick glance down at your girls and were concerned to see their mouths open, fearing they'd catch a fly. but you didn't let that stop you, instead sending them a wink that made them smile. 

while the others were amazed by you, eunchae was clapping excitedly.

however, they weren't the only ones who were sent into spirality and succumbed to your hypnotic gaze, but they'd have to deal with that later.

"holy shit." yunjin murmured.

"holy shit indeed." chaewon replied.

"wow." kazuha was too speechless to say anything else.

"so that's why she kept it a secret." sakura commented, smiling proudly.

"wah~ unnie is so amazing!" eunchae grinned, eyes following you as you approached the waiting silhouette behind you.

when they realized who it was, their smiles faded.

choi yeonjun.

he was the first to admit that he thinks you're really pretty while also admitting that you're his crush.

as part of the dance, yeonjun placed his hands on your hip. they didn't even try to hide their sour faces and they knew they'd go viral, but they didn't care.

chaewon leaned back in her seat, arms crossed. sakura tried to keep her gaze on you, but whenever yeonjun touched you, her gaze would shift to his hand. yunjin was staring at you and kazuha's brow twitched every now and then as his face got too close to yours. finally, eunchae was simply enjoying your performance, happy to see her mother figure in the group dancing on stage.

after the performance, you blew a kiss to the camera, causing more squeals, before looking down at the girls. when you looked them in the eyes, they lit up, and you winked just as the lights went out.

as you changed, the girls waited for you. they tried to pay attention to the speaker and whoever was performing, but they wanted to see you. they stood up to give you an excited wave when you finally appeared at the side of the stage. you chuckled and waved back, but your focus was diverted when yeonjun turned to face you as you approached the stairs.

surprisingly, kazuha had predicted his next move and almost ran up to where you were, followed by yunjin, who was surprised that kazuha had realized as well. you were surprised to see the american and japanese ballerina extending their hands to you, but you accepted and let them help you down.

"so? how was that?" you asked your members, who gave you big hugs.

the girls immediately showered you with compliments, saying how sexy you were and how great you did on stage. they obviously left out the part where yeonjun did well because he had touched you too many times, which they thought was unfortunate. yunjin wrapped her arm around your shoulders while kazuha wrapped hers around your waist.

the night went on and you sat between chaewon and eunchae. the maknae leaned against you for comfort as the leader placed her hand on your knee.

"i'm hungry." you whined softly to chaewon, who giggled at you.

"didn't we eat earlier?" she whispered back.

you pouted. "not enough."

sakura, yunjin, and kazuha all looked over at you, smiling at your adorable pout. yunjin reached over to pinch your cheeks while lightly laughing.

"no, really. me, too." eunchae said, backing you up, causing you to give her a high five.

sakura chuckled. eunchae was exactly like you, albeit a cuter version of yourself because you were the eldest and thus more mature. you can, however, be as cute as eunchae when you want to be.

sakura looked around at some point during the conversation about food, but then noticed san from ateez staring at you with a small smile on his lips. 

must be because of your pout, sakura thought. 

so she subtly adjusted her seat to block his view of you, a satisfied smile on her lips. yunjin looked at her, covering her lips as she laughed at sakura's actions.

but yunjin knew she'd do the same thing.

your group was then announced as the winner of an award. you were taken aback because you had been preoccupied with food the entire time. sakura noticed and laughed, drawing your attention to her. you pouted at her before turning your gaze to the steps and holding eunchae's hand. the other members were standing behind you two, hands outstretched, ready to assist you.

chaewon was the first to speak into the microphone and you stood next to her, holding the award. chaewon's gaze would occasionally return to you and you'd both share a soft smile.

yunjin spoke next, the speech now in english, and you stared in awe. being the touchy person she is, she placed her hand on your arm, pulling you closer so that you could showcase the award. 

kazuha was the last to go. as she stood in front of the microphone, she cast a glance at you. you knew she was nervous, so you wrapped an arm around her waist. kazuha was able to get through it thanks to your comfort and support.

however, just as kazuha finished speaking, the camera panned towards you before a certain male idol was shown on the large screen, caught as he stared in a daze while murmuring the word 'pretty.'

loud screams ensued and he hid his face behind his hands, receiving teasing smacks from his members. you looked at the screen, perplexed, and saw haechan from nct dream. you shrugged, not knowing what had happened and not wanting to know, and led the girls backstage.

the girls, on the other hand, were aware of what was going on. they threw a glance at nct dream's table, not caring if they were their seniors, but they did try to hide it. you called them over and they quickly followed you as you went to prepare for your performance.

during the performance, you would shoot the maknae a funny look whenever you had the chance and eunchae would just smile, breaking character. well, technically, she wasn't because she was always smiling. 

after that, you nearly collapsed on the chair as the adrenaline left your body and was replaced by mild exhaustion. kazuha sat next to you, her head on your shoulders, watching the others settle into their seats around the room.

"i did well, right?" kazuha murmured, referring to her solo part at the end of the performance.

you hummed and reached up to pat her cheek. "you did so well, my zuha."

with that, kazuha closed her eyes for a brief moment. you brought up the subject of food again with the staff and eunchae was quick to back you up. yunjin joined in this time, but the rest of the girls mostly just watched you talk about how hungry you were (listened, in kazuha's case).

you cheered loudly when they said okay, which was a quick response from them, not even a beat later, which surprised kazuha. "oop. sorry, zuha."

you caressed her face, mumbling apologies and searching for any hurt area on her skin. there were none, but because kazuha liked the way you doted on her, she let you do your thing.

"wait. we'd have to leave eunchae now, right?" chaewon's question had you pulling away from kazuha, eyes wide in disbelief.

you were disappointed when the managers nodded and pointed to the clock. "fuck curfew." you muttered in english.

yunjin, who was walking by, burst out laughing. they looked at her, puzzled, but she only pointed at you, laughing again when you smiled at her. kazuha heard you as well because she was sitting next to you, but she said nothing and just chuckled.

then you rose to embrace the pouting maknae. "i promise we'll be back."

eunchae gave a nod. "be quick?"

you smiled. "if i could, baby gorl, i would. please wait here, okay?"

eunchae gave you another nod, and the girls waved her goodbye. you were the last to leave, but not before waving to the grinning maknae.

the night progressed and the group was called on stage for another award shortly after you returned from backstage. this time, it was just you to give a speech, and while you were doing so, the girls scanned the crowd of idols. 

they noticed that there were far too many of them smiling. it was small because they were trying to conceal it, but it was still a smile. yunjin moved in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. you only gave her a passing glance before continuing your speech.

then you called out to eunchae, prompting the girls to do the same. "hong eunchae! we love you, baby. please wait a moment."

eunchae was smiling backstage, already missing her unnies. "i love you, too." she murmured the sentiment in english, causing the staff around her to coo.

and the awards ceremony was soon finally over. 

the sigh that left your mouth caused chaewon to laugh at you. "what? i'm just glad it's finally over." you whispered in her ear.

"idiot. come on."

you were on stage with your members and the other groups who came. as you walked with them, you wrapped your arms around sakura, keeping her close to you because you didn't want her to be swallowed up by the crowd.

"i want to eat japanese food." you told her.

"me, too. do you want me to cook tomorrow?" sakura asked.

you hummed, finding delight at the idea. "sure, kkura, but let me help."

the japanese chuckled. "i'm sure even if i told you otherwise, you'd still help."

you looked down at her and raised your brows in amusement. "not that you'd say no to me either."

sakura didn't respond, but the smile on her face said it all: she can't say no to your adorable face.

you both paused, however, when someone tripped in front of you. you widened your eyes and extended one hand to assist whoever it was. the guy accepted it and you recognized him as jay from enhypen, one of your labelmates.

he blushed when your eyes met because, goddamn, he'd seen you up close before and you never cease to amaze him with your beauty and kindness.

the girls kept an eye on him while bowing back to his members, who were on the verge of laughing and were also deeply embarrassed by his actions. you patted his shoulders and smiled goodbye before walking away, the girls trailing you like lost puppies.

and that concludes the evening's events.

or so the girls thought.

when you saw eunchae waiting for you outside, you pick up your pace. "manchae!" you called out affectionately.

the girls slowed down to allow you to spend time with the girl you claimed as your child and they ran over when you waved them over. you and eunchae were squished in the group hug and you laughed before calling for timeout.

"air, babes. we need air." you stated, causing them to pull away.

"sorry." they said in unison, chaewon fixing your hair and yunjin doing the same for eunchae.

"we missed you." sakura told the maknae, who beamed. "me, too."

"we're eating out, right?" you asked.

yunjin nodded. "yeah."

"where?" chaewon asked, causing yunjin to light up and point at you.

when you raised your brow at her unintentional suggestive action, yunjin quickly retracted her finger, explaining what she meant. "unnie, we discovered this restaurant last week!"

your mouth formed the letter 'o'. "that's right! we should give it a shot." you told the girls.

when you went to explain where it was, a voice from behind you interrupted you. "uhm, excuse me?"

when you turned around, hyunjin from stray kids greeted you with a bow, which you promptly returned because he was your senior. behind you, the girls stood guard, with kazuha reaching out to clutch the back of your outfit.

you gave a warm smile. "yes?"

hyunjin blushed at your attention and threw a sideward glance towards where the rest of his members stood, cheering him on. you were confused as to what was going on, but you waited for the boy to speak. he looked back at you and cleared his throat before handing you an envelope.

you accepted it and smiled. "what's this for?"

"i, uhm, like you and i was hoping to... maybe get your number?" the boy sounded hesitant, but he decided to shoot his shot.

he was attractive, and you were aware of his talent, but dating was not on your mind at the time. you opened your mouth to reject him as gently as you could, but chaewon cut you off.

"we're sorry, but we can't give out our phone numbers."

"ah, it's okay. i'm just happy i could tell you, y/n-ssi." hyunjin's face showed his disappointment, but he still smiled at her and you. 

meanwhile, your face dropped at your leader's interruption and you were side-eyeing chaewon, who quickly avoided your gaze. everyone got chills and did the same thing as chaewon, suddenly finding their shoes, hands, or the wall in front of them more interesting.

they recognized that look and knew that hell would await them once they entered that room.

although chaewon was the leader, you were the eldest. being the eldest and most mature, you took pride in it. when she interrupted, it stung your pride.

you smiled at hyunjin and decided to play along for the time being. "of course. sorry and thank you, i appreciate it."

you exchanged bows and watched the downcast guy walk back to his members, who comforted him with a pat on the back. you entered the room without looking anyone in the eyes. before following you, the girls gulped and exchanged nervous glances.

the staff knew they couldn't get involved, so they sat it out.

"what was that?"

the girls saw you taking off your accessories in front of the mirror. your face was emotionless, which scared eunchae because it reminded her of the time you got mad and she decided she didn't want to see you mad again.

"care to explain?" you threw them a brief glance, mostly at chaewon, and they were shaken up again by the intense look in your eyes.

the leader took a deep breath. "we just... didn't want you to give him your phone number."

"and you thought interrupting me was a good idea?" you asked, and chaewon went to speak, but you turned around to face them. "didn't you trust me enough to not do that?"

while the other girls panicked, chaewon quickly shook her head. sakura decided to intervene after noticing chaewon about to cry, which you had noticed, but you needed answers first.

"when i say i didn't want other people to get your attention, i think i speak for everyone." sakura said.

as you stared at sakura, you remained silent. your brows furrowed and the gears in your head were finally turning to bring you to realization.

the girls waited with baited breaths as yunjin drew chaewon closer to her, providing the comfort their poor leader required. kazuha was also behind her, rubbing her back. 

chaewon was grateful for them, but she needed yours.

your leader looked you in the eyes and watched you sigh and close your eyes.

"so, to cut a long story short, you were jealous?"

thinking you were still mad, they nodded.

"i see." you said, opening your arms now that your questions had been answered. they were hesitant to approach you at first, but you called out to your leader. "chaewon-ah."

your sweet tone caused chaewon to run to you, knocking the air out of your lungs, but you didn't care for the time being. you stroked her back with one hand while resting the other on her head. you knew she was trying hard not to cry when you heard her sniffle quietly against your shoulder.

the thing she despised the most was you getting angry at her.

it goes the same with the others.

"i'm sorry, my love." you said quietly and chaewon nodded. "i'm sorry, unnie."

you hummed and gave an apologetic smile to eunchae. "did i scare you?"

you waved her over after the maknae nodded. chaewon stepped back to let you hug eunchae, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. yunjin approached you and kissed the side of your head as she apologized. because eunchae wouldn't let go of you, kazuha went to cling to your sleeve instead.

"you're really scary when you're angry, unnie." kazuha said, tugging on your outfit as a way to ground herself after the fright you've instilled in them all.

you smiled, humming. "i'm sorry, my zuha, everyone."

everyone took a moment to calm down, and when eunchae pulled away, you apologized by briefly hugging sakura, yunjin, and kazuha before turning to chaewon, who remained silent. she'd calmed down, but she remained silent.

"call them in? let me just talk to chae real quick." you said quietly to sakura, who nodded.

you approached chaewon and hugged her, pushing her to the corner of the room, away from their gaze. chaewon wrapped her arms around your waist and buried her face in your neck.

"are you mad at me?" you asked.

chaewon shook her head. "no, why would i?"

"i'm sorry for acting that way." you murmured in her hair.

"it's not your fault, unnie." she reassured and pulled back to look in your eyes.

you wiped the stray tears from her cheek and planted a small kiss on her brow. "i love you, okay? you and the girls. you have my undivided attention at all times and in all places, hm?"

chaewon nodded and rested her forehead against your jaw. "i love you, too."

"good. trust me, okay?"

she nodded.

"and please do not interrupt me again."

chaewon knew you were no longer mad when your tone was laced with a playful sound and added by the playful raise of your brow. she laughed and nodded, knowing they'd all remember not to interrupt you again in their lives.

when you left the corner, you immediately got changed. and when you came out wearing your favorite sweatpants and hoodie, kazuha was the first to greet you. the japanese ballerina melted in your arms and you swayed her to the song yunjin was singing.

"don't get mad again. ever."

you laughed at that, squeezing her. "i'd try not to, my zuha."

you approached yunjin, who lit up when she saw you. still singing along to the song on her phone, she grabbed you by the hips and pulled you into her lap.

"hey, love~ you're not mad at us anymore, right?" yunjin asked. 

she sounded playful, but when she switched to english, you knew she was serious and just trying to clear the air between you two. you nodded and stroked her cheek with one finger.

"yes, jen. don't worry."

you leaned against the american for a moment, opening your arms for sakura. she plopped down on you without hesitation, ignoring yunjin's groan. the force surprised the american, who you knew was strong enough to support you two.

"you gave us quite the scare." sakura muttered.

"i know, i'm sorry." you murmured, planting a kiss on her shoulder.

you three remained silent after that. the staff were wary, but the way you slept on yunjin with sakura in your arms assured them that everything was fine. you awoke to sakura tapping your cheek and yunjin caressing the skin beneath your hoodie.

"time to go, y/n/n. come on."

you found yourself in between chaewon and eunchae, the two members you scared the most tonight. they were both leaning against your shoulders, playing with your fingers. you gave them a kiss on the head, and the way chaewon closed her eyes, a contented sigh leaving her lips, and eunchae burying herself in your embrace told you that everything would be fine.

the other girls smiled, relieved to see you weren't mad anymore and had made up with them.

"go sleep. i'll wake you up once when we get there." they complied and were knocked out like a light.

you looked out the window, your thoughts racing. you let out a sigh. that explains their behavior earlier tonight. you thought it was nothing, but it turns out it did mean something.

for the time being, it appears that you will not be dating anyone.

nikko note: hi, everyone! many liked the first ot5 fic i made, so i decided to write another one. i might be busy until next week because of school shit, so wish me luck TT i hope you like this one! but i'll definitely be back with another fic because there are tons in my drafts, so see you!

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