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euryvices · 2 months

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mlw relationships are killing some women's souls, and we need to change that

gosh, let me preface this by saying I love men. men are absolutely the cutest, when they're good to the people i love. I love men when they talk about their obscure, weird interests or they talk about their mainstream interests like baseball. I love the light in their eyes when they get excited, and that cute little hand thing they do.

genuinely, i adore men. but one man in particular has earned my ire.

i was talking to my het sister today, about love and relationships. she's been in a long term relationship for almost four years now, and she's going to get out of it soon. me, being an inexperienced (probably lesbian) kid, I ask her about men, and what it's like to be loved by one. she tells me, "oh you know, men are great, except from when you want to be loved for who you are." And she just...laughs. I don't think she even notices my heart is quite literally breaking. This is the world we're in, guys. My older sister, who drew on walls and planned her wedding before the age of ten, who knows all the words to the scooby doo theme song and eats chocolate cake with her bare hands...does not know what it's like to be loved for who she is.

I didn't understand at first.

Because lesbians, and bi women, and just women/queer people loving women in general love so desperately. we love our partners not for how they look, but for who they are. and yes, maybe im speaking from a naive place, but that doesn't change the fact that women/enbies don't view each other like men do. not to romanticise wlw relationships so terribly, but it's just so different with us. My sister tells me about the times her boyfriend, Danny, has forgotten her birthday, Dannys cheating on her, or throwing her against a wall on their anniversary - with all the caustic numbness of a trampled upon snail. She has not been loved by any of the men she has dared love.

Obviously, mlw relationships cannot be exactly like wlw relationships. But it just, hurts. It hurts that my sister, who is genuinely one of the most dynamic people i know, who is the aphrodite of small town casinos and cheap gin, who is always holding the bullet instead of biting it - is not being loved for who she is. She knows that she is being loved for being a warm body, not for the warmth her body can hold.

He, as far as I can see, was a good person. He showed up to family events with flowers for our mom and a toy for the baby...but it just goes to show you how different things can be behind closed doors. She told me, "his passive aggressive comments always stuck with me. i even started worrying about my weight!" which, if you know my sister, should be absolutely absurd. She literally looks like a model (don't tell her I said that or her head'll get so big we'd have to keep her chained to the floor). She is one of the prettiest women ever, regardless of her weight. She told me that at one point she was almost ready to starve herself. Meanwhile, this pathetic apology of biochemical reactions has had the nerve to cheat on her, laugh at her, make rude comments and still show up to every family event with a bouquet in hand.

And it's changed her.

it's not fair. So, Danny, if you're reading this by chance you sad sack of mutilated deer dick - fuck you. Fuck you for taking my passionate-about-life, kind to the druggies outside our shitty school, full of life sister - and making her someone who tiptoes around you. Someone who's given up on being herself because you've changed her.

The worst part is that it's not even an isolated event. This happens to women all over the world. So many sparks have been lost to careless hands.

To men everywhere : don't date women you don't actually love. Don't search for someone else in the girl you're dating. Don't treat her wrong, and start actively figuring out what hurts you instead of expecting her to do the emotional labour allllll the time.

And do not ever make your girl feel bad about herself. I'll be watching, and I have a bat and an angry horde of bisexual at my side.

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quietly-sweetly-yearning · 1 year

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if i thought it might cheer you, i would offer you the world

#yearning #mlm #wlw #nblnb #mlw #wlm #mlnb #nblm #wlnb #nblw #all my posts are free to be reblogged in any context (romo/qpr/platonic/ect) but i'll note it on this one especially #since this is one of those things i think u might say for a lot of different types of people u care for yknow #anyways. why cant i kill my loved ones' sadness with a sword

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onceupona-crossover · 1 year

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𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐔𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫!

This blog specializes in making moodboards and edits/photo manips of crossover ships! There are four mods on the blog currently, listed below. We’re all passionate about crossovers and will work hard to deliver the best edits we can!

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

crossover ships Only

we accept requests for cartoons, animated films, animes and games. Also now live action movies but only for moodboards without a difficult edit, like manips.

if you have multiple requests, please be mindful and wait a day or two After your request is filled to send in another- this is to ensure everybody gets a fair chance to have one, instead of our inbox being flooded with only one person with multiple requests

requests don’t have to be romantic- qpp, platonic, familial, etc. are all accepted

the more specific your request is, the faster it can be done (colors, themes, etc.) but be aware we might not be able to fit every detail in

the request list will be updated as frequently as possible and when you send us a question it might take a day or two to get back to you, please be patient!

𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐬

Mod Rapunzel ☀️

Hi! I'm the original mod, I'm mod rapunzel. I'm still learning how making edits so I will make them only for me, but you can request me moodboards!

Mod Merida 🏹

Hi! I'm very interested in making edits and moodboards! If you would like an edit that isn't part of a moodboard, I'd be willing to make it. I'm very excited to be part of this blog

Mod Belle 📕

Heya! I love crossover ships, ship edits, and moodboards. I promised myself to make ship edits or moodboards that would make people happy. and I'm very excited to be a mod here.

Mod Drossel ⚙️

I'm Mod Drossel, I love crossover ships and making moodboards a lot, I'm thrilled to be a mod and to help out with requests.

request list

Discord

#Crossover ships #Disney x non disney #Disney x disney #Moodboards #Edits blog #Pride edit blog #Wlw edit blog #Mlm edit blog #Queer edit blog #Mlw edit blog #Mod Rapunzel #Ask to tag #pinned post

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aaronymous9 · 1 year

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The WOF Love Interest slander has made me think about it. What would be my ideal love interests for each Wings of Fire protagonist?

Clay - Keep him without a solid one, he can have minor flings but honestly I like how the books kept him single and made it pretty clear Peril’s crush was one-sided. I don’t personally headcanon him as aromantic or anything I just think him not having a love interest is more useful and interesting to the character dynamics and the story than having one would be.

Tsunami - As I have previously stated, pathetic malewife ( gender-neutral as usual for the bisexual queen ) or equally as tough dragon who has a soft spot for Tsunami and she has one for them. I like how Riptide is the first person Tsunami meets but not in the way the books portray it, it shouldn’t just be “first male of the same tribe as her now they are dating” I feel “this was the first person I felt I could relate to on all the things I never knew why I did and you taught me so much but never used me for being a princess or forced me to be a certain way thank you”

Glory - Okay girlboss and her hitman bodyguard is cute, kinda reminds me of Yor and Loid Forger in a way but also the age gap has to go Tui how’d you fuck up the timeline that bad 😭😭 I don’t actually like how Deathbringer is written either I kinda would want more of a serious to outsiders but playful slowburn when alone with eachother. I feel like Glory wouldn’t actually get with anyone until she’s an adult because she would be so focused on her career BUT GOD GET A MAN OR A WOMAN OR WHATEVER IDC WHO IS YOUR AGE PLEASE DONT MESS UP THE TIMELINE AND IMPLY STRANGE AGE GAPS IT RUINS SHIPS

Starflight - Tbh… I love him and Fatespeaker nerdy quiet boyfriend and his bundle of energy nerdy girlfriend, just crank it up to 11 I want more I don’t care if she’s annoying it’s fun I just wish they did more with it it was so cute :(

Sunny - The aromantic queen.

Moonwatcher - Everytime I heard her worrying about “oh gosh oh me should I choose the nice funny guy who is nothing but kind to me or the nasty racist man who keeps telling me who hates me because I’m a nightwing” makes me want to rip my hair out. If you can’t tell love triangles are often poorly written and both choices are not equal. Solution: Give Qibli more apparent flaws and maybe don’t make Winter dragon racist it makes the bad boy character a lot less of a bad boy and more of “why are you giving this man the time of day Moon he hates you” energy. That was a rant and a half but basically balance it out more and in the end I don’t want her to decide. She can have some romance drama on the side but I feel like she could never choose, or she could go poly or open relationship but who knows. If I could throw Qibli and Winter in the love interest trash bin I would give Moon a quiet gf with an interesting backstory or something like that, someone who doesn’t have a bombardment of thoughts and is calm and peaceful and Moon can just chill with her. Or honestly if Arc 2 wanted to focus on plot more, discard love interest for Moon until Arc 3.

Winter and Qibli - Stated before. Honestly would prefer if Winter didn’t have a love interest at all and worked through his own issues with his friends where as I’m a little more open to Moon and Qibli personally I’m not the biggest fan. I think Qibli is another character like Clay that I can’t see any story reasons to actually give a love interest until after Arc 2.

Peril - Realize she doesn’t need Clay to love her to be worth anything and slowly come to realize to learn to love herself, maybe she gets to be with someone as an adult but after lots of healing and being able to separate her worth as a person from a partner’s love. <3

Turtle - I like how he has a crush on Kinkajou and how Anemone kind of ruins it but I don’t want it to go anywhere and I want he and Kinkajou to have more discussions about it and for them eventually decide not to get together. Or something like that I can’t really see Turtle with anyone but I liked that storyline.

Blue and Cricket: I actually really enjoy this ship and I want them to be happy, make it less sudden though Tui I stg they went way too fast but I do enjoy pathetic little boy x nerdy girl it is a very cute dynamic and made arc 3 tolerable in the first half for me.

Sundew: No complaints. Willow is amazing, I just wish she had more of a role in the story.

Snowfall: I think she and Lynx are cute but they do also work as friends, I don’t think she needs a love interest. Single girlboss.

Luna: I like Luna and Swordtail a lot actually Arc 3 had pretty good romance for Wings of Fire standards, I just wish it was fleshed out more before Luna’s POV book. Her thoughts and memories of Swordtail also made her book tolerable I’m ngl the plot was lacking but Luna and her awesome thoughts and mind and memories was super cool!!

I could also include the humans, the winglet characters and Darkstalker but I don’t want too!! Fuck the humans I hate them!!! Also I acknowledge I didn’t include any MLM ships in here at all but that’s kind of just because most male characters have pretty solid ships already which are primarily straight, which is sad that there isn’t a lot of LGBT rep in Wings of Fire besides Sundew x Willow and side characters Pineapple x Jambou(? He is so irrelevant I forgot his name help 😭 ) and arguably Sky/Peril. Maybe after Winter works through his angst he can get an emo boyfriend that would be my heart and soul.

#aaronymous ramblings #wof #wings of fire #i say im not into shipping but thats just because theres not actually a lot of good ships in things i like #and when i see a charavter usually i think of the most canon version of rhem in my mind which usually includes their horrible chemistry witg #basic love interest number five #but I am a proud enjoyer of romance comedy anime and im inserting tropes into wings of fire #spy x family komi cant communicate kazuya sama love is war tomo chan is a girl and so on #shame theyre all straight well honestly theyre all bisexuals thats my headcanon #pov me when my wings of fire post tags turn into anime posting #anyways make more good cheesy comedy romance about bisexual mlw or to spice it up just any comedy non offensive mlm wlw or hopefully #nbl literally anyone WHERE ARE MY NON BINARY ROMANCE ANIMES #Spongebob cryinf gif that is heavily edited is me rn

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finalproblem-mlm · 9 months

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following like 50 billion mlm accounts while iding as gay and then getting a girlfriend has to be the funniest thing ive ever done. bisexuality really played the long game

#all the posts are very nice and about boys and i cannot reblog them #and i dont feel comfortable stepping into wlw posters whole deal as someone whos just a man bc i dont go here #and theres like such a small fraction of mlw t4t posters that are sfw enough for this blog

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emailmeurheart · 8 months

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I like my girls. That's it that's the post

#wlw post #nblw post #t4t mlw #mlw post #polyamory #💯dima says things #mspec safe

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goodolfashionedloverboy2005 · 11 months

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Cant wait to have someone to cook to 🩷🩷

#mlm #mlm love #mlm concept #mlm post #t4t mlm #wlw community #wlw love #wlw yearning #mlw nsft #queer mlw #wlm nsft #trans wlm #bi wlm #t4t wlm

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indulge-in-trans-joy · 1 year

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Welcome to my blog for trans joy!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Information about me:

My pronouns are he/they/it, and you can call me Lloyd! I'm 18, and I'm non-binary transmasc (genderfaun, to be specific). Non-related information is that I'm also aromantic and have a dumb sense of humor.

The purpose of this blog:

Many of us trans people get sick of online trolls and TERFs in our reblogs, so this account serves as a safe space to stay if you ever need it! Most online communities, to some degree, contain transphobic aspects, but my goal is that this blog remains free of transphobic rhetoric.

What content this blog will include:

Everything I post and reblog will be related to trans positivity and our community's experiences. Send me an ask or submit if you want to share your own stories to this blog!!♥

This isn't a blog catered towards minors, but I will try to keep the majority of content appropriate anyway.

Who is allowed in this community:

Trans people of all genders, sexes, races, cultures, medical statuses, classes, and ages. Trans people who are bigots to others will be blocked.

Intersex people, whether or not you identify as trans you are welcome and will be respected for who you are.

Trans allies

Detransitioners are also welcome with open arms, so long as you respect that other people are trans. You can share your past experiences if you want, as long as you don't hold transphobic beliefs or use anti-trans rhetoric.

Chasers will be blocked.

Misgendering kinks, forced detransition kinks will be banned on this page (even if you are trans with these kinks and don't condone them irl, I will refrain from mentioning them on this page because it is a pro-trans community, and will remain a trans safe space for everyone).

This goes without saying: Transphobes of ANY kind will be blocked. This ALSO includes: Trans-exclusionists, Truscum, gender essentialists, anti-intersex, anti-non binary, anti-neopronouns, pro-forced detransitioners, ableists, and conservatives.

Rules for entries:

Anonymous submissions are allowed if it makes you most comfortable

It is trans related (you the submitter don't have to be trans yourself, it can be past stories or about someone you know, etc).

it is celebratory/positive in nature

Try to keep submissions appropriate for general audiences as minors also use Tumblr, and there are trans minors, too. If you need to, content warning any posts containing graphic or triggering content.

Mentions of other identities are allowed if they intersect with being trans i.e. being aro while trans; bridge as many topics as you want as long as it goes back to being trans.

NO CHASER CONTENT. THIS IS NOT A FETISH PAGE.

Anti-trans affirming fetishes will also be blocked, i.e. misgendering kinks, forced detransition content, etc.

Your entries can literally be about anything (within the rules above): HRT milestones, gender euphoria, coming out of the closet, trans fluff or t4t, yearning, name ideas, and appreciation; all is welcome!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I hope we can have a fun time together!

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monarchamos · 2 months

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why is there so little wlw rep in media in comparison to mlm?/gen

#this isnt even a “amos you literally only look at mlm media” bc like. have you SEEN the category tag numbers on AO3?#as of writing this post: wlw at 1.15 mil // mlm at 6.04 mil #thats for the WHOLE site #interestingly enough mlw ships sit in between the two at 3.04 mil

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quietly-sweetly-yearning · 1 year

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you make me want to be better. healthier. happier

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theoldlesbianwithcats · 2 months

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22.02.17 — On lesbian socialisation (by sespursongles)

We all know how female socialisation works, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone discuss the concept of lesbian socialisation, how it affects us, with what consequences — and how it is like female socialisation, squared.

To put it in a nutshell — female socialisation teaches you that you are inherently worth less than men and you must always defer to them and prioritise them and their feelings over yourself and other women. Lesbian socialisation teaches you that you are inherently worth less than male-attracted women and you must always defer to them and prioritise them and their feelings over yourself and other lesbians.

Lesbians are of course affected by both, although being gay can help us fight some aspects of female socialisation—e.g., the need to prioritise men or win male approval. Not that it doesn't affect us at all, but the message that “you are worth less than men” does impact you differently when men are worth less than women to you in your love life, and “you must behave in X and Y ways and treat other women like rivals for male interest” sounds like irritating white noise when getting male interest isn't a desired outcome.

On the other hand, we have nothing to help us resist the impact of lesbian socialisation, because we love women. We are fully behind the idea of prioritising women. Add to this a healthy dose of internalised lesbophobia, and we are now fully behind the idea that mlw are worth more than lesbians and we should prioritise these women in particular, always.

Not to mention the factor of our social isolation and quasi-total lack of outside support — how every other group and political faction hates us in a different (but, deep down, the same) way, how desperate we are for allies.

I wrote a post last week about lesbophobia and double standards in the radfem community, and one part of it was directed every bit as much at lesbians than at mlw: “Het/bi women are really seen as inherently more important and worthy of respect than lesbians, aren’t they? Can’t waste your shock and anger on people who hate lesbians because you must save it for when a lesbian calls a manloving woman a manlover.”

I wrote that post because there were lesbians who were much more shocked and outraged at other lesbians for hurting a bi woman’s feelings by calling her a lesbophobe and a “manlover”, than at said bi woman for being a lesbophobe who defended the idea that lesbians can be manlovers. (She was defending a book I mentioned previously, written by a bi woman, in which a lesbian falls in love with a guy.) There were also lesbians who hurried to write posts urging other lesbians to calm down and be nice when we started reacting to the lesbophobia, but felt no need to write posts telling mlw who were being lesbophobic to calm down and be nice. And there were lesbians who felt the need to write posts reassuring “our bi sisters” that we still love them and we know most of them aren’t like that and NotAllBis and wlw solidarity, but didn’t feel the need to respond to this surge of lesbophobia with comforting posts of solidarity to fellow lesbians. That’s what I call lesbian socialisation. Put manloving women first, always. Suck it up, be nice, placate, placate. Can’t risk alienating the very few “allies” we have.

Female socialisation teaches you “it’s in your best immediate interests to care more about men’s feelings than about women’s oppression.” Lesbian socialisation teaches you “it’s in your best immediate interests to care more about manloving women’s feelings than about lesbian oppression.”

And that’s exactly why the queer/bi/trans community has been able to dismantle the lesbian community so easily and walk all over us. Because all lesbians have been taught to never dare prioritise ourselves and our own wants and needs, to always put every other group’s feelings and wishes before ours, especially other women and other marginalised groups who need our help and compassion*. Gay men don’t have this problem and so they still have “exclusionary” spaces. *And these groups know it. They might not know it consciously, but they know it, and they exploit it.

Every time a het radfem reminds a lesbian of how dangerous and painful partnering with men is, every time a bi woman throws those bi suicide and rape statistics at us, every time a “trans lesbian” talks about how much it hurts his feelings to be rejected by mean lesbians who won’t date him, they are counting on lesbian socialisation to kick in, waiting for lesbians to feel terrible and forget about our own best interests and duly start prioritising theirs.

Het radfems do this deliberately, to get us to admit that het privilege isn’t really a thing and, back in the day, to convince lesbians to accept their political lesbianism rubbish (“Why won’t you welcome us in your community as your lesbian sisters? Do you really want us to go back to our hurtful hetero relationships?”). Bi women do this deliberately, to guilt-trip us into “including” them everywhere and shut us up when we talk about their lesbophobia. “Trans lesbians” do this deliberately, to get us to fuck them. (Men don’t have complicated motivations).

They all know the stereotypes (they create them) that are an integral part of lesbian socialisation, teaching us our worthlessness. The mean lesbian, the angry lesbian, the manhating lesbian, the ugly hairy rabid hysterical cruel insensitive heartless biphobic transphobic gatekeeping selfish exclusionary oppressive genital-fetishising lesbian.

Lesbian socialisation is the incredibly useful and necessary extension of female socialisation. It functions to keep the women most detached from patriarchal institutions, the women who least need men, who have the most reasons to rebel, quiet and well-behaved. Growing up as a lesbian, you receive female socialisation, hear that as a woman you are subhuman and born to love men, serve men, worship men, and you feel angry. But you also receive lesbian socialisation, hear that you are not merely subhuman but subwoman, lower than low, if you turn into one of those crazy rabid angry lesbians, and you back down.

And other groups know how to use all these hateful messages and stereotypes against us, either throwing them at us outright, or subtly reminding us of them, then watching us desperately scramble trying to prove that they aren’t true, or at least not true of me. They know.

So, it would be good if lesbians knew, too. Be aware that lesbian socialisation exists, that it affects you, and that other groups use it against you. Notice patterns. Notice in what contexts the calls for “empathy”, “solidarity”, “sisterhood”, politeness and niceness start flowing. Notice in what contexts other groups give you tragic statistics about their own oppression. Notice when you start feeling bad and guilty and ask yourself why. Who are you prioritising? (Usually, yourself and/or your fellow lesbians.) Whose feelings are you ignoring? Who are you concretely hurting? (Usually, no one. Prioritising lesbians does not actively hurt other groups, no matter how badly they want us to believe that—using the aforementioned tragic statistics as well as words like “denying us” to make us feel like our bodies, affection, time, solidarity and emotional labour are as necessary to them as oxygen.)

And remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritise lesbians, and that you do not have to care about people and groups who have shown time and again that they do not care about you. When a group has a long history of disregard or blatant hatred of lesbians and shows zero willingness to change, it’s okay not to care anymore. It’s okay to answer questions like “Do you support X group?” (trans people, radfems, gay men, bi women…) with “No. I support lesbians.”

Because you are not required by law to support groups who do not support you back, let alone groups who are actively promoting an ideology that hurts you and your community. It’s nice to be nice and polite and supportive, but when the niceness and politeness and support always flow in the same direction, at some point, it’s time to stop. Allow yourself to stop. (At the very least, allow other lesbians to stop and don’t lecture them for not being sufficiently nice and polite to the groups that you, personally, still have some faith in. She probably has good reasons for losing her faith in them.)

If you do stop, you’ll probably feel very guilty at first (they’ll make sure you do), but it will get easier. You might even start feeling better about yourself now that you stopped caring about some groups who never cared about you.

And finally, please keep in mind that if you don’t prioritise yourself and other lesbians, no one else will. No other group will care. Not even marginalised groups who share some aspect of their oppression with us. Not het women, not trans people, not gay men, not bi women. No other group will defend us, support us and prioritise our hurt feelings over their oppression — what they constantly demand of us. No matter how nice, accommodating, polite, helpful we are to them. It’s never going to be our turn.

#seven years later and it's truer than ever #at this point I think gold stars shouldn't bother with feminism bc most straight and bi women just want to use us as human shields or pawns #and would rather kill themselves than take advice from us or follow our lead #and the time we spend caring about them is time we don't spend on lesbians #hence why we have no true spaces or events #and not much art about us

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cryptar · 1 month

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yknow i say im a huge multishipper but i wouldnt actually consider myself much of a shipper at all. just open to the idea of trying everything once. the term has typically romantic connotations and follows the assumption that i think, and want, these characters to be good for eachother.

I'm, personally, less interested in the prexisting chemistry than i am in the puzzle of figuring out what differing circumstances could potentially cause two characters who have seemingly nothing in common to become eachothers everything.

This could explain my favorism towards rarepairs and more convoluted dynamics, and my aversion to popular, fluffy pairings that have already been explored a thousand times over, there's no work for me to do there.

Not to mention that when a ship becomes too popular it starts cannibalising itself, and lots of good, interesting characterisations are lost in the sea of people bending characters into pre-orchestrated, saccharine dynamics. alot of which are usually downright fetishy in nature, particularly in mlm pairings.

I mean i would say being able to get ooc and self indulgent is downright mandatory for making a good fic, but there's only so many times i have to read a fic about a big, overprotective, manly-man top who does all the work and the shy, small, swoony, softhearted femme-wifey-bottom before it starts to just be lazy.

I actively have to go out of my way to search 'switch' tags if i want true-to-the-character, mutual emotional reciprocation. which i really, really shouldn't have to do as an ace person who actively skips through nsfw.

And it's not that popular wlw pairings aren't guilty of these problems aswell, but those tend to lean more into the 'soft lesbians who can do no wrong' stereotype, which always completely (butch)ers all nuisance that makes the ship worth shipping in the first place.

As well as that's if they're even the focus of the story at all and aren't just shoved to the side by the main mlm couple. mlw pairings can be culpable of both these things, with the added risk that you find out the author made a twitter post with the characters in front of the 'super straight' flag.

Though i also wonder if me being aspec plays any part as again; im not as interested in the romantic aspects as i am in the possible hurdles they may face throughout the potential relationship.

Anyone else feel like this?

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