#y’all always give the art i HATE more love like i can’t delete it but those are so obviously art block era please guys… | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nattinatalia · 1 year

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Urban Wyatt x Reader Instagram AU

Liked by yourbestiename, maluma, princeroyce, cozane, urbanwyatt, and 7,345,876 others

yourusername Married no more, but can’t help but miss how I used to eat his ass…… jokes aside, that used to be my mouth and lip filled with his load.

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urbanwyatt You play too damn much 😭😭

druski I love this 😂😂 so messy and I’m here for it.

jackharlow I can’t keep defending you 🤦🏼‍♂️

yourusername Huh? Wdym?

yourbestiename PENDEJAAAA

yourbestiename CUENTA EQUIVOCADA!!!!!!

yourusername Oh shit 😳

yourbestiename DELETE

yourusername No, it’ll be worse if I post and delete. Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😬

user not you bashing your baby daddy

urbanwyatt Where did she bash me? Because all I got from that is she misses when I used to hit the back of her throat.

yourusername LMAAO I HATE YOU!!!!

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Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, cozane, neelamthadhani, selenosunni, and 6,235,876 others.

urbanwyatt She did the damn thing 🖤

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jackharlow She really did.

neelamthadhani The most stressful few days getting all this planned. Glad everything came out perfect and that the stress it’s finally over 😮‍💨

urbanwyatt Knowing the both of you, I know this was probably so stressful.

user Oh Urby gots a new girl? And she planned him a surprise party? GOALS ASF. He said thank you next 💅🏼

yourusername HAHAHHAAAAAA

user You’re laughing that he moved on so fast? Be happy he found someone better because you weren’t it mama.

yourusername Well MAMA, sorry to burst your bubble, but I did this set up. So, thank YOU, Next.

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Liked by urbanwyatt, jackharlow, yourbestiename, selenosunni, neelamthadhani, and 7,345,966 others

yourusername Happy birthday to my favorite chair. Here’s to more craziness and messiness between us. Thank you for giving me some of my happiest moments, and for our beautiful baby girl. I love you for life.

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urbanwyatt 😂😂 I love you.

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️ Y’all are a whole mess

druski Not the favorite chair!!!!!! lmaao you still be hitting that?

yourusername 🤫

user Girl give it up already!!! move on. he’s not yours anymore

user no really, she tries so hard to make it seem like they’re in good terms but you know she misses him.

user she wants to stay in his life when she’s been homie hopping since they broke up.

yourusername That’s still my baby daddy, my best friend. I don’t play about him, so y’all can fucking chill. Bothered over someone y’all don’t even know on a personal level. I haven’t even been entertaining a man because I’m not ready. Homie hopping? Lmaaaooo okaaaayyy yeaaaa, my next victim is Avatar

cozane I’m down, hop your way over here now!!!! 🙄

druski Damn all this under his birthday post? Y’all savages.

urbanwyatt Don’t act like you’re not eating this up.

druski You’re right, I love it 😈

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Liked by yourusername, selenosunni, cozane, neelamthadhani, brysontiller, and 6,345,876 others

urbanwyatt Started my birthday flower picking with my little one, ended up fucking up the strip club with my baby mama 😜 she’s better than yours 🤭🫡

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yourusername 😛😛😛

cozane strip club with y/n is always crazy

urbanwyatt It always is……

druski So are y’all fucking fucking? Or just fuckingggggg???? 👀

yourusername LMAOO 🙈🫢

druski Answer the question

yourusername NO

druski No as in ya not fucking or no as in you’re not answering?

urbanwyatt How about mind your business

yourbestiename HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST TIO NINO TO MY MIA BUG. Thank you Urby for loving my babies, you’re the best uncle ever and the greatest best friend to my husband and to me. Our lives wouldn’t be the same if you aren’t in it. Cheers to 25 and cheers to many more years. We love you and I hope you loved the little art and crafts present the kids made for you.

urbanwyatt 🥹🥹🥹 it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to, because I’m definitely crying right now. The kids and Cassie made this birthday 100 times better. Thank you.

druski So can I tell them that Y/N cried in the Harlows guest bedroom and wanted to leave the part SHE HELPED MAKE???

urbanwyatt You’re annoying

druski We’ve been known that.

wehateynclub 🤭 She cried lmao

hateryn Because she lost her man

stassie Happy birthday baby zaddyyyy 😋

urbanwyatt fuck off

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Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, yourbestiename, 2forwoyne, cozane, and 6,356,577 others

urbanwyatt Family vacation 🤞🏼 love my girls 💗 birthday celebration still going hard! Thanks to baby mama 😊😘

Comments on this post have been limited

jackharlow Enjoy brother 💜

yourbestiename Yay, so happy you guys are having a good time. I love you y’all

cozane Fam ♥️

druski where do you and Jackie boy get these girls because the way they celebrate y’all’s birthday is like a all month thing

druski But I guess happy birthday yet again loser

yourusername I love you, always 😜💗

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99

@cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95

@deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn

@xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09

@aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading

@stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld

@carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts

@itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz

@harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter

#urban wyatt #instagram au #urban wyatt x reader #urban wyatt x you #urban wyatt x yn #urban wyatt x y/n #urban wyatt fanfic #Jack harlow

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judaschair · 3 months

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i am so sick of social media why does it still exist? i truly think it needs to stop being profitable. all of my friends are or are trying to be micro-influencers and im so tired. it feels like i can’t get ahead in my career without using it but i am growing to hate it. i just want to go back to looking at silly pictures of my friends and not see rage bait or ads everywhere i look. another thing is the phone obsession which i get to a point but its getting so weird. like ill be out with my friends and ill see almost no one not on a phone?? when im in the world i try to only pull it out to look up something or take a picture and even that i hate. i think im going to start caring my small camera to take pictures throughout the day because i just hate having to use my phone all the time you know? i miss laptops, i miss not thinking about my next post, i miss being able to talk to people. even my mom, gen x doesn’t ever put her phone down. she is always on til too or reels and its really annoying for me. we’ll be watching a show together and she wont put her phone down like?? its gone past its original purpose. not to sound all conspiracy theory but i really think its making people dumber (not excluding myself here dont worry), making people not think critically or in some cases at all, and making people so irrational. you get everything so fast and why?? so you can waste more time on social media? what is so important that people can’t say thank you to baristas, can’t see value in art that isn’t on their feed, can’t stop taking pictures of their dog to pet it and give it the love it deserves??? i know this post is all over the place but im so tired i hate it. even if i want to break the cycle i can’t. just one person not using social media as much isn’t gonna help. deleting my tiktok didn’t help. nothing will help. kids are dying, families are being torn apart, people aren’t seeing humans as humans. being behind a screen is making people feel fake and i know that is the root of it but god damn y’all. even tumblr which has a bad rep is 1000% better than anything x or meta is creating like that shit is so dumb!!!!!! im just feeling helpless with all of this. if i fade off of social media ill fade out of peoples lives that i genuinely care about. social media was supposed to make it easier to talk to people and share ideas, now its almost the only way to do anything.

#social media #rant #i hate social media #ugh

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everlarkficquestions · 3 years

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Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories. If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/ with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576. Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions: Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND! Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author. Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND! The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....." That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595) FOUND by the asker! Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

#+#mod post #sunday stumped day #ssd 35 #we're stumped #576-596

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grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years

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TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast

hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION

she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire

emma can’t act for shit lmao

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one??

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha

probably has like 1 million followers

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS:

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :(

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

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bndz · 3 years

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(normani kordei, twenty-two, cisfemale, she/her) * hey, i’m looking for the office of adrianna king. they’re the intern who’s known around the office as the airhead, if that helps? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re humorous but talkative, is that true? i also heard that they’re the one who brought her pet fish to work. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

& i’m back at it again with another character ! it me , tay ! i have another child & her name is adri . she’s my bubbly little baby & i love her chatty ass down ! i have some points about her below & i am so excited that i got to bring her here . tw : religion , homophobia , toxic parents & mentions of physical violence .

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒔 !

NAME : adrianna king . NICKNAMES : adri . GENDER : cisfemale . PRONOUNS : she / her / hers . AGE : twenty-two ( 22 ) BIRTHDAY : 23 september . ZODIAC : libra . HOMETOWN : miami , florida . CURRENT RESIDENCE : new york city , new york . ETHNICITY : african-american . SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual . OCCUPATION : intern . ( the art department , but more so visual art )

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 !

FAMILY : born & raised in the city of miami , adri grew up in a household that was highly religious . her family was heavily involved in the church with her mother also being a pastor herself . because of this , her parents were very strict & super controlling . they monitored almost everything surrounding adri since she was their only child , trying to prevent anything they deemed negative & wrong to consume their daughter .

this caused for adri to at first obey them because she was a child , but as she reached her teenage years she saw how toxic her parents could actually be . they were the definition of religious hover parents & it was slowly starting to cause adri to resent them . they would spend hours lecturing her if she wore something they thought was inappropriate . they would call her names & say she was being fast for her age . they would tell her she was going to go to hell if she didn’t listen to the word of god .

it all came to blows when adri was figuring out her sexuality . all her life she was told that liking the same sex was wrong , but she was having feelings for the same sex . at first she felt internalized homophobia , but as she started to grow into her own person & renounce the teachings that were drilling into her head , she started to accept herself . she knew that her parents were going to condemn her , so she didn’t ever plan on coming out until she moved out . sadly , her father did a random check of her phone & found texts that she didn’t delete to a girl she was dating at the time . it was literally a shit show in the king household . slaps & many sessions of trying to pray the gay away later , adri had to pretend as though she was not bisexual . she had to break up with her girlfriend & was removed from public school to be home schooled at sixteen . to say she hated her parents was an understatement .

as the years went on , adrianna was counting down the days until she could be off to college . during her senior year she applied to the furthest schools from miami . she had to beg her parents to let her attend an out of state college , but because her act at home was convincing , they allowed her to stay with her aunt in new york to attend college . they were still going to be as controlling as ever , but it was a step closer towards freedom .

SCHOOL : adrianna attended hofstra university & majored in art . while she was in grade school , adrianna gravitated towards painting because it was the best way for her to get what she was feeling out . attending college was the best thing for her . although her aunt was as strict & religious as her parents , she used college as a way to wild out . she was sneaking out easier because her aunt worked overnight shifts as an rn . she was enjoying the ounce of freedom that she had even if her family was on her neck 24 / 7 . she had a lot of pressure to graduate & get a job , so that she could live on her own & she knew that the arts wasn’t the best major to find a joke as quickly as she wanted . but graduation came quick & adri was literally scrambling .

MASTER’S : after college , adri was literally running all over nyc trying to look for a job . it took her months to finally land a job interview at master’s & she honestly thought she flopped . when she got the position as an intern she was literally over the moon . she absolutely loves working at master’s & she’s hoping she can move up the ranks . being that she’s new at the position , she’s trying her best to fit in & get things done in a timely manner . she does struggle a bit because it’s her first big girl job , but she’s working on it day by day .

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 !

BUBBLY : you could easily describe her as someone that lights up the room with her smile alone . adrianna is super cheerful & very positive majority of the time . she has a hint of pep in her voice that almost sounds like she talks with a smile & she usually does . she just loves to talk & interact with others .

FLIRTATIOUS : due to her personality , adrianna is naturally friendly & flirtatious . she will flirt with ya boo & it won’t even be intentional. that’s just who she is . some may call her a thottie because she does live her best hot girl life , but she truly does not care . she does what she wants because she’s poppin’ ! ( see connections for some mess surrounding this trait )

TALKATIVE : honestly , she will never shut up. she talks very fast & says a lot & it can also be alot . she just loves to talk y’all . she will talk anybody’s ear off who will listen . she can’t help it .

DITZY : def’ has her moments where she’s super lost . it takes her a few seconds to understand jokes sometimes & can def’ lose her train of thought as well . she can be a little dumb , but she’s just all over the place . somebody help her , please !

in general she’s like a bimbo , but not to the worst degree . she’s v aware & just has her moments . she doesn’t like when people try to be condescending towards her because of her personality , so she can get a little defensive & snappy when pushed to that degree . it takes her a lot to snap , so i doubt she will be popping off unless she is truly offended . she’s also not that confrontational , but if she has to defend herself , she will . ( she lowkey can get creative tbh ) she’s just here to befriend people , okay !

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 !

001 . enemies . i feel like because she’s genuinely nice it would have to be a huge reason for her to dislike someone . so , pick your poison . 002 . friends with benefits . we always love these , don’t we ? she’s with all the shits , okay . head hot girl at your service ! 003 . exes . not to be that garbage bag , but i’m pretty positive adrianna probably cheated on all of her exes due to boredom . she is someone that needs change in her life bc of how she was treated at home . if she feels stagnant , she will just pull some bs like cheating & move on to the next . truly her biggest flaw & someone gotta smite her ass for this fr ! 004 . besties . someone give her a baddie bff pls ! 005 . a work boo . v self explanatory . 006 . a muse . since adri likes to paint , this could be someone that inspires her artwork or even let’s her paint them on occasion . again , i am terrible at thinking of connections , so i’m down for all the plots !

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 !

001 . she is type one diabetic . 002 . is a huge bad bunny stan . 003 . a bratz doll collector . 004 . is into art & loves to paint . 005 . her guilty pleasure is watching bad girls club .

#masters.intro #tw religion #tw homophobia #tw toxic parents #tw physical abuse #tw body image

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marikaaajoy · 4 years

Text

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

#plus ultra #<3 #personal

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nny11writes · 4 years

Note

For the fic writer ask game: What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write? (Feel free to rant :) )

Hahahaha, sorry were you looking for one trope?

I’m usually so positive so now you’ve done it. You’ve unlocked me complaining about random shit that doesn’t usually matter. Because the damn busted wide the fuck open! Okay, so I’m going to approach this as outside of smut fics with intense kinks I can’t stand (vore, foot fetish, scat play, etc), because that’s me getting squicked and/or triggered and not just tropes that I wish would die in a fire.

My only disclaimer up front is that if you love most of these (hopefully it’ll be obvious which ones I will not forgive/excuse you from), that’s awesome! Go for it! Read it, write it, print it out to loving re-read and paste on the walls! Fandom is, in large part, about finding your niche and enjoying what you enjoy pretty much shamelessly. So I’m not passing judgement on anyone who enjoys reading or writing (most of) these.

CW: rape, sexual assault Also I’ve had a shit few days, so if you don’t want to read someone just being negative and bitching this is probably not the post for you friend. But it all below a cut so people can avoid!

Crossover Fics/Rule 50

My main gripe with this is that without fail a series I love get crossed over with a fandom I either don’t care about or hate. Every time I’ve tried to force myself to read one it’s never worked out for me. Sometimes fics aren’t properly tagged and I’m getting into the setting only for other characters from another fandom to suddenly show up and literally I instantly loose interest. The closest I got to writing a crossover fic, was on FF.net where I had all the characters I wrote for “talking to me” when I hit a big wall of writer’s block in the hopes that writing something so different and strange for me would help. It didn’t. It was interesting for 0.2 seconds to wonder how characters would interact, but then I instantly lost interest because I end up leaning so heavily of character tropes to make it work which, for me, isn’t fun to read or write.

Like, just write fusion! I like fusion! I’m currently writing a SPOP-SW fusion! It allows me to play with characters in a fun world that I already understand, but without the frustration of characters becoming more 2D or very OOC (or both) to force them to interact with one another. Rage Fics

Honestly? If you write and post rage fics, fuck you. Full stop. Fuck you.

I’m about to tangent, but I swear it’s related. This is the equivalent of someone tagging a character or ship or fandom they hate in a post bashing them or blasting them to hell and back. Fucking beyond rude and obnoxious. That’s what rage fics are cranked up to 11. You are 100% allowed to hate on fandom/character/ship/trope/whatever the fuck, but when you do that shit you are forcing people who enjoy the media to see/interact with your BS because you fucking tagged it to show up where we are. A great example here in SPOP is Catra. I love her! I understand why some people don’t, and they’re 100% allowed to hate her and resent that so many people like her. Recently I went to the Catra tag to find art and fic, maybe some of the top notch meta this fandom puts out if I was lucky, and got stuck seeing post after post after meta post comparing her to another character in the show to explain why she’s an awful person, badly written character, and anyone who likes her (but didn’t like the poster’s fave) was an idiot/asshole/troll/bitch/dumbass and you know what? I went from having a decent time decompressing after a shitty day at work to getting fucking sent around the sun with stress. Like, bro, I’m here to ENJOY myself thanks, and when you tag things I go to for fun and fluff when I’m out of spoons and ready to snap to ranting about hating it, you make me want to scream.

Y’all don’t know how many people are lucky that I write up responses in word so I can get it out of my system and then just DELETE the whole fucking thing. Rage fic is that same fucking set up, but instead of being a relatively quick post (where I can block the poster here on tumblr), it’s a fanfic that people are going to continue to click into over and over and over again for fun only to get body slammed. There’s no way to warn people on AO3 if something is a rage fic beyond not leaving a kudos and dropping a comment. I don’t know a lot of people who read comments first so it doesn’t always work.

If you post rage fics, grow up. Stop that shit. Fuck you. Instead, try not purposefully interacting with fandom that makes you so mad that you think doing this is an appropriate reaction. Block tags, block users, regulate comments, go whole fucking hog. You should be able to enjoy fandom too! But if you can’t do that without tearing down other people in fandom then you make me want to beat you over the head until you self-isolate to play by yourself in a different sandbox. Seriously. Fuck you if you do this.

Troll Fics

Did you think I came on strong for rage fics? This is worse.

If you do this? Fuck you. You get NOTHING but my pure rage and if I find this shit I will report you however I can and then shout from the rooftops about it. And I’m sure if you do write troll fics because you enjoy being purposefully offensive and triggering then you’re probably delighted that my reaction to just thinking about this is wishing I had the power to fuck up your life.

Like, the ONLY thing I can say for rage fic is that at least typically the person writing it actually enjoys some aspect of the fandom or fandom in general.

Troll fics are just meant to be offensive on purpose and if you write and post that you’re a bad person. No exceptions. You can make different choices and work to become a better person or a good person, but right now, right this second as you do it? You’re a bad person. You should probably figure out why you get so much joy out of posting things with the sole purpose of hurting/triggering/being cruel to others. And you might need help to do that. I legit think you should reach out to people with different opinions from your own to try and break out of it. Get a therapist. Do fucking something worthwhile, because posting troll fics is not worth anyone’s while. Fuck you. Rape as a Backstory

I hope I don’t have to fucking explain why this makes me want to literally explode. I’m purposefully not writing that as R*pe so that people with rape tagged don’t see this.

If you think that rape is the only way to push your story forward or is a great way to give a character “free and easy trauma”, literally stop. Just. Fucking. Stop. There are other ways. Really look at your work, really think about /why/ it’s so important to you that the character /has/ to be raped. Most of the time the real answer is you don’t have a reason you just chose it because you either don’t care, think it’s not a big deal, or never considered other possibilities. There are stories where rape does need to be included, stories that address the topic kindly and/or tag appropriately for it. I’ve read some of these that were really amazing, both short (<1k) and long (>100k) because the author actually took a hot second to address the topic in an intelligent way. Whether that was to dive into how it’s harmful, address their own trauma, or (honestly) even for the smut porn of it but with all the proper tags on it. If you have it to be purely enjoyed by yourself and/or others with dubcon or noncon kinks, cool, good for you, TAG IT APPROPRIATELY. Fucking bless writers who still use “Dead Dove/Do Not Eat” tags y’all are doing great work. But the vast majority using this trope?

They aren’t that, they aren’t anything like that at all, they aren’t always tagged correctly or at all and that’s by design, it’s often for shock value or a quick ‘well that’s why they’re anti-social’, it’s sometimes used as an excuse for one character to swear off sex until the “right person” comes along to “cure them”, and they shouldn’t have ever been posted.

Redemption Equals Sex/Sexual Karma

I know this is spring boarding a bit, but please stop writing these two tropes.

I’m exhausted y’all. And not just because I’m asexual. This trope is disgusting and usually comes with heaps of sexism, racism, and homophobia. If you want to write smut please just write the fucking smut. I’m literally posting smut fic and am planning to work on another one tonight! JUST WRITE SMUT WITHOUT MAKING IT DISGUSTINGLY ANTI-MINORITY GROUPS AND PLAYING INTO HARMFUL STEREOTYPES. If bad guys become good(ish) guys because a woman saw past their barriers, took care of them, are a surrogate mother, and then had wild and kinky sex with them then it’s a bad fic. Likewise, if a character is punished for having sex, or is sexually assaulted to show that they’re now bad then it’s a bad fic.

If a character’s suffering is rewarded with sex to “cure” them and “make them better” then it’s a bad fic.

There are so many ways that this shit becomes a seriously harmful fic.

Please. Please, stop doing this. I am on my knees. Stop!

I am sick of ‘Draco’s in Leather Pants’ (can’t fucking believe I’m whipping that term out again holy shit what year is it) getting redeemed because they slept with someone and now found a reason to care. Sex leading someone on the path towards redemption is so EXTREMELY rarely handled in a way that’s well done. Just. Don’t. Be an unapologetic villain lover, slap them in an AU where they aren’t a pure villain, but don’t do this. Like I wrote above, I’m also just sick of (usually, but not always) dudes who put rape in to punish (usually, but not always) female characters or to punish weak/pushover characters (usually, but not always males). And equally tired of traumatized characters “casting off their shackles” to enjoy wild and kinky sex because someone with a magic dick/strap/fingers/tongue “showed them it’s okay” and “made it all better”.

Just, don’t. Be a fucking decent human being and don’t.

Character/Reader Fics

I...I really just don’t get this? It’s very uncomfortable to me and I’m assuming that’s due to me being aroace, I can’t read them and if I try to I either become so uncomfortable I stop or so rage filled I stop.

I don’t mind 2nd person stories, but most of the ones I see are character/reader fics and it’s...like, it’s just bad. Not “cringe” just enjoyable for me. I can’t explain why I hate this so much considering I do enjoy some 2nd person fics. Idk, I really don’t have the words to explain why these bother me so much. :\

I ain’t got an alternative, if you like these you like them, and if you don’t you just don’t. Thank you for tagging so I can avoid. Have fun on your own! Song Fics and/or Audio/Sound Cue Fics

Sorry guys, I just hate it. I can’t really read a fic and listen to music at the same time, it becomes background noise 100% and detracts from both for audio cue fics.

Fuck, just realized I don’t know if people know what those are. Audio/Sound cue fics are fics where you’re reading along and all the sudden there’s a link or URL that you’re supposed to follow to help set up the next scene/enhance it. Hate it. Hate, hate, hate. It detracts from your story and makes it weaker while being annoying and breaking me the reader out of my enjoyment of your story. Hate! Telling me in the A/N that this (or these) are the song(s) you listened to while writing, song(s) you based the story on, or even that you think they’re good songs to get you in the mood for the story is totally okay! I’ll probably ignore it unless I went head over heels for it, in which case I WILL go back and listen to all of them. (Why hello Rhythm and Blues, you punched me in the face and I now listen to every song even vaguely mentioned in the story or A/N, you’re that good, it’s so fucking good guys, I can’t stop talking about this fucking series it’s just so good?????????) Song fics are also typically in this boat for me. And I want to be really clear, not fics where a character is singing in the fic with lyrics written out. That doesn’t bother me, that song is now effectively part of the story and draws me in. But if it’s paragraphs of description before suddenly cutting it’s annoying. Why, oh why, do I put up with this misery? Still looking for a reason For now it is a mystery to me Why, oh why, do I put up with this misery? Still looking for a reason But for now it's ancient history to me

So yeah I’m making an example to complain about the example.

But question.

Was that needed?

All I did was make overly explicit my feelings in this text that was already there in what I’d written. Song fics feel to me like writers who aren’t confident that their writing is good/understandable/relatable and so they are desperately throwing someone else’s creation into their own in the hopes the reader will get it. Friend, I promise you, we’ll get it without the song! The song lyrics detract when they’re just floating out there, and have taken goods fics and made them frustrating. Either that or you think you’re so amazing that your shit don’t stink and the rest of us idiots can choke because of your brilliance. I’ve found several song fics that if I copy and paste them into a word document and delete the song out, I really enjoyed the fic itself on it’s own merits in a way I literally couldn’t with the lyrics in there. Again, if you are weaving music into your fic, weave it in. Have characters sing, write the lyrics out as a character is listening to the music, quote the song in your fic (preferably without it being super obvious. I’m not saying my take on that was the best, but I did write a Catradora fic on giftly request based on a song and I 100% used lyrics from it in my prose and built my whole plot around it without breaking out to quote the song explicitly), just do something that’s not, like, punching me in the face because “clearly I couldn’t get it” or from a fear that “they won’t understand”. At best you seem insecure and unsure about your story, which is fantastic without the song. At worst it seems like you’re saying your fic is so beyond the average reader that we would never understand your vision without someone else’s original content in it.

#cw: rape #tw: rape #negativity #fandom #fandom negativity #me actually complaining about shit explicitly #and I still edited it a lot to make it not rage ranty #my anxiety won't let me live if I don't #about the author #tag game #writing game #writer game #fic game #fanfiction game #oh my god Imma post now otherwise I'm going to dive back in and scream A LOT MORE BECAUSE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #bobkitten

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starlightinhumanform · 4 years

Text

The Art of Love: Chapter 11

Fandom: She Ra (2018)

Ship: Glimadora

Summary: Glimmer and Bow have a chat. Glimmer’s secret crush might not being a secret anymore...

Warnings (for this chapter): Some mild angst, Mild language (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff

A/N: Just a side note that I consistently headcanon Bow as trans and even though that doesn’t play a role in this fic, it is mentioned. As always, thank you for all of your continued support and encouragement!! Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 The Art of Love Masterpost Fic Masterpost Fic Request Info

By the time the day ended, Glimmer was ready to bury herself under five blankets and spend the next four hours watching YouTube. Of course she couldn’t do that. Because life just wasn’t that easy.

Her feet shuffled in a way that could only be described as noncommittal- weak and only partially agreeing to their actions. Her head felt like it was filled to the brim with cotton, stuffed into a too tight headband that squeezed across her temples and made what was left in her head pound. Saturated; that’s was she was. Used up like a sponge.

Such things being considered, Glimmer was in a surprisingly good mood. So she couldn’t help but smile when she heard feet pound up from behind her and stop suddenly beside her.

“Hey, Bow!”

Bow was stopped, bent over with his hands on his knee and gasping for breath. He raised a finger up, “Just... give me a... moment.”

Glimmer giggled, “You good?”

Bow swung upright, “I can’t breathe but I’m great. How are you? Hopelessly in love?”

“I can not handle your bullshit right now,” Glimmer began walking but couldn’t help but smile slightly, “Blocked. Cancelled. Deleted.”

“Why? Because I’m right?” Bow had caught up with her again, grinning.

“It’s a crush Bow, nothing more. It’s definitely not love.”

Bow nodded as they continued walking, “Uh-huh. Is that why you’re blushing so hard?”

“I’m blushing because you are bothering me,” Glimmer grumbled out her words, and turned her head to raise an eyebrow at him.

Bow raised an eyebrow back, “Wanna talk about it?”

Glimmer stopped walking and flopped backwards so she could lean dramatically against the hall’s cinderblock wall. She let her head roll backwards and stared up at the ceiling. The hall had cleared out, the distant sound of dance practice echoing between her and Bow. She still held a smile but it was quickly growing stale. It wasn’t that she was sad, or that she didn’t enjoy Bow’s company; there was just a lot to consider in that question.

Did she want to talk about it? Well, yes. There was so much she had to say and so much she wanted Bow to at least give his opinion or, at best, offer advice. But of all the things she wanted to say, there was so much she was scared to admit to. She doubted she would even mange to get half of it out. She would choke up and her words would lie, caught and festering somewhere in her throat. And there all those emotions would stay, blocked between her heart and her mouth. They would simmer there for a drawn out second before they boiled over and streamed down her cheeks. Bow would put his hands on her shoulders ask her what was wrong in his too-soft-for-his-own-good voice and Glimmer wouldn’t be able to tell him because the words burned as they bubbled and corroded her vocal chords.

But the feelings, they were hard to explain. She squinted up at the fluorescent panels which only marginally improved the lighting but greatly added to the prison-like atmosphere. The flickering bulbs were a thousand miles away as she tried to wrap her mind around the images flickering behind her eyes. Adora’s smile. The way her eyes shone when she sang. How her voice could wrap around Glimmer’s brain and find all the ways to make her glitch. How her body fit perfectly against Glimmer’s. The raw intensity with which Adora felt emotions and how she let them wash over whoever was nearby.

Bow’s feet made a scuffing sound as he shifted somewhat awkwardly across from Glimmer. The movement brought her back to the present and and made her wonder how long he had been standing there.

“I’m going to take that to mean that, yes, you do have something to say?” He prompted.

Glimmer let her head swing forward and blew a sigh through her nose.

It’s like molten gold filling my chest. And it’s bright and it’s burning and god yes it hurts but it’s beautiful too. It’s smooth and it runs down my throat, stealing my voice. It coats my eyes and tints the world around me but that’s ok because it turns everything beautiful. And at the same time, it’s far too much and it scares me and it hurts because all that shining gold is more than I could ever deserve or ever handle.

She couldn’t explain that. She would sound crazy. Bow probably wouldn’t see it as crazy, but he would take it too far. Glimmer was already freaking out about it, she couldn’t stand Bow freaking out on top of that.

“Glimmer?” Bow reached out, placing the expected gentle hand on her shoulder, “Is everything ok? Are you ok?”

Glimmer gave a breathy laugh. She hadn’t even realized how blurry her eyes had become, “Yeah. Sorry.”

His eyebrows were wrinkled in concern and Glimmer could tell he was worried that he had somehow caused her distress, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

She took a deep breath and made up her mind, “I have a lot to tell you actually. So let’s go to some place more comfortable than the middle of the hallway.”

Bow smiled, “Library?”

“Library.”

Bow and Glimmer had a well-established tradition of spending the time after school together, sharing stories and ranting about life in the library under the pretense that they were study partners. Everyone knew they weren’t actually doing work but left them alone because they stayed to their back-corner sofa and only rarely did the conversations dissolve into yelling.

They walked comfortably next to each other, unbothered when their shoulders bumped and chatting about the ridiculous amount of homework they would undoubtedly procrastinate doing that night.

People often mistook them as a couple; something which both Bow and Glimmer would laugh at. They had the running joke that if neither of them had found someone by the time they were 35, they would just marry each other. They were close as friends could be. He was the first one she had come out as bi to and she has the first he had come as trans to. Glimmer generally didn’t mind people thinking she was dating Bow, but sometimes she worried it would discourage other people from having interest in her. Then she would brush it off as ridiculous because she was pretty sure there was plenty of other things to discourage them.

They reached the library within a few minutes, both flopping dramatically onto their usual couch. They were in an emptier section of the library, most people at tables or occupied in the computer lab.

Glimmer swung her legs over the arm of the couch and leaned into Bow’s side. She let a defeated puff stream out of her mouth, once again unsure of what she could possible say.

Bow let them sit in silence for a few moments before prompting her again, “So... what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

She groaned, “Adora. Pretty. Girls. Yes. Crush.”

Bow laughed and patted her shoulder, “That all?”

Glimmer brought her hands up to hide her face in and shook her head, “Bow, I don’t even know where to start.”

She could feel him shrug against the weight of her body, “How about you just start from last night. I’m pretty sure you liked her before, if I’m being perfectly honest, but it sounds like it only got serious last night?”

The last sentence was stated as a question instead of a statement and Glimmer knew Bow was trying to bait her into giving more information. She gave in, returning the shrug, “Yeah I guess. I have no idea how long I’ve liked her but I think it’s been almost the whole year.”

“Why do you think it took you so long to realize?”

Glimmer had to take a deep breath for that one, “Because I hated her. Because I was jealous of her. And because I was scared of liking her.”

“Ok,” Glimmer could hear the hesitation in his voice, “And why was that?”

“I just- you know how- I couldn’t,” she paused before trying again, “There were- are- a lot of reasons. I just feel like I shouldn’t. I still think liking girls is something bad or at least dangerous.”

Bow started to say something but Glimmer continued before he could get a word in, “So there was that guilt and I guess disgust. It’s that internalized homophobia bullshit. I think that’s what they call it? Anyways, I know Adora won’t go for me and I’ll just get hurt and I know I’m stupid for getting so infatuated.”

This time Bow was able to interrupt, “I wouldn’t be so sure of that if I were you.”

Glimmer snorted, “Oh, and why is that? Has she privately confessed her love for me to you?”

“Well no-“

“Look, Bow, she’s popular and she’s beautiful and she could probably get any girl she wanted. She’s definitely not going to settle for me.”

“Hey hey first of all,” he elbowed her in the back, “nobody has to ‘settle’ for you. We’ve talked about this. What have I told you?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, “I’m not going to say it.”

He elbowed her again, “Say it, coward.”

She blew a raspberry before droning out the ridiculous mantra Bow had told her in a monotone voice, “I am gorgeous and perfect in every way. I am a queen; y’all are peasants and do not deserve to witness my glory.”

Bow nodded, “You may continue.”

“You’re so stupid. Anyways, with your permission to continue, even if Adora does have the slightest interest in me- which she doesn’t and will continue not to- Cat would get jealous. I’m pretty sure she already is with this stupid project. She won’t let Adora anywhere near me as soon as the project finishes.”

“How do you know that? Adora’s her own person. She can hang out with you if she wants to- no matter what Cat thinks. And by the way, I think she will want to hang out with you.”

Glimmer felt her throat going tight, “She told me she wanted to be friends but I don’t think she meant it.”

“Glimmer, that’s great!! What makes you think she wouldn’t mean it?”

“I don’t know,” Glimmer hesitated once more, “She was acting really weird last night.”

Bow rolled his hand in a Go on motion.

Glimmer’s stomach clenched as her mind flashed back to the night before. She sat up, hunching over her knees as she were worried the sensation would show through. It all seemed very far away, surely longer than the 24 hours reality told her it was. It all seemed very fake. Adora couldn’t possibly have looked at her with that much affection in her eyes. She couldn’t have asked her to dance and laughed so loud Glimmer was sure someone would hear. She certainly didn’t stand a breath away from Glimmer and give her a smirk that made her insides freeze. It was simply impossible.

“Glimmer?” Bow leaned sideways to bump his shoulder into hers, “What do you mean weird?”

“Just very affectionate I guess,” She looked up at Bow, knowing what was coming and not sure if she would be able to answer.

“How is that a bad thing?” There it was.

“Because,” Glimmer seemed to choke for a moment and she could swear it was because her heart was in her throat, “I know that it probably wasn’t real; it was probably just Adora being tired and getting clingy or something. And because I know it won’t ever happen again. And knowing that hurts.”

Bow reached and took one of her hands in his. They were warmer and sturdier than hers- small and trembling. It was such a normal, familiar action but all she could think about was Adora’s hands in hers’ as they sat side by side and she attempted to teach her how to use chopsticks. It had to be some surreal dream. That would be easier. That would make sense. She felt vulnerable and exposed. No doubt the entire library was acting as witness to her breakdown. She hunkered into herself further, almost entirely folded in half now. She just wanted it all to pause. Things would be so much easier if they marched in one at a time. Instead life liked to throw a thousand problems at her at once. And sometimes those problems looked like soccer players who smiled a little too brightly because they were trying to hide just how much more like the ocean they were than the sun. Adora wasn’t stupid; she was deep and dark and sometimes the shades twisted from blues to jagged purples which undoubtably scraped against her sides. Glimmer wanted to learn every shade of that girl- yes the happy yellows but also the stormy grays. She wanted to dull the shards that hurt Adora and do her best heal the wounds she couldn’t prevent. But she would never get the chance. It was all fantasy. The melancholy was corrosive.

Bow squeezed her hand in his grip, cueing her to look up. When he spoke it was with a slow, steady voice. Glimmer knew that voice; that was the voice he used when Glimmer was about to shatter into a million pieces.

She breathed in deeply through her nose and tried to concentrate on his words, “I know this may seem very unrealistic to you but I really don’t think Adora’s affection was fake or just some side effect. I don’t think you just give up on it happening again.”

Glimmer’s face collapsed into a combination of disdain, incredulity, and despair, “If I keep holding onto hope, I’m going to keep getting hurt every time I’m inevitably disappointed.”

“How do you know you’re going to get disappointed though?!” Bow waved his arms out in a way that would have been comical if Glimmer wasn’t on the verge of tears. He was starting to get exasperated, his voice rising dangerously shrill and loud.

Glimmer hissed out a shush and clapped his arms back down to his body.

She rolled her eyes, “Look, I’ll live in your make-believe world for a second, ok? Let’s say that Adora does like me- platonically, romantically, whatever it doesn’t matter. Even if she does, Cat is not going to stand being around me. She hates me. So Adora will have to choose between me and Cat. That will have two possible results: Most likely, she will choose her best friend and leave me behind. That result can be summed up as: Ouch. Either that or she’ll choose me. From then on, Cat will hate me more than she already does- and I do not want to find out what that would mean- and Adora will always resent me because I’m the reason she and her best friend fell apart.“

Bow nodded sagely for a moment, “You’ve really thought this through.”

She could tell he wasn’t as concerned with her hypothetical situations as she was. This time it was her voice that reached a dangerously high volume, “Yes of course I’ve thought this through! Have you met me?! I think everything through!”

“Ok true, but I still don’t think-“

“Actually I’m not finished yet! Because even if by some miracle, Cat and I are able to ‘coexist,’ then I’m always going to be an accessory to Cat and Adora’s relationship. I will always be an add-on; something that is merely tolerated. And I will not be able to stand that. I would rather never talk to Adora again than have to deal with that.”

“Glimmer I get it and you’re making some good points, it’s just,” he paused, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes, piecing together his words, “of all those situations you’ve thought up, you’ve never once considered the possibility that things will turn out ok.”

Glimmer leaned sideways into Bow, just trying to affirm that she had heard him. She hated making Bow this exasperated. She knew he was just trying to help her. Hell, maybe he was even right. Still, Glimmer was thinking realistically. She was thinking cautiously. She was... she has no idea what she was doing.

“You know, Glimmer,” Bow returned the lean in her direction, “sometimes the world doesn’t suck.”

She rolled her eyes, “Mm, really? And you’d be what? An expert of the world’s constant condition?”

Bow sat up straight and puffed out his chest, “Yes in fact.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Glimmer’s voice still wavered as she spoke, but she could feel a grin start to grow across her lips.

“And you know what? I might be ridiculous, but I like to think that I’ll be right one of these times.”

Glimmer loved Bow’s optimism but it often came across to her as purely naive. She wished he could be right about this, if only to give him the satisfaction. But it was unrealistic and the sooner she accepted that fact, the easier it would be to take reality’s crushing blow. And the sooner Bow stopped encouraging her wishful thinking, the easier it would be to accept.

But he was giving her a grin that held nothing but purity and confidence, and she couldn’t break that. She tried to return the smile, “Sure. We’ll see.”

His smile grew until he was beaming, “Yep! We will!”

Satisfied that he had beaten Glimmer into optimistic submission, Bow slapped the sofa seat next to him, “Come on, I gotta go.”

They moved towards the exit together, chatting casually as they weaved through tables of clustered students. The library was filled with the quiet bubbling of 50 voices, each trying not to make noise but none the less adding to the atmosphere of sound. It was relaxing to some extent and apparently Bow found it safe enough to continue their conversation.

“So... what would you do if Adora liked you back? I mean, like, would you go on dates or-”

Glimmer nearly tackled him to the ground but instead froze, hissing, “Shut up! Elizabeth is right there! She hangs out with Adora sometimes! What if she heard you yelling?!”

Bow’s eyes lit up at the mention of Elizabeth, “Really? Where is she?”

“Don’t look so happy about it; she right at the table behind you!”

Bow spun around and waved, “Hey Elizabeth!”

The girl jolted up from where she had been hunched over the table, “Oh, hey Bow!”

Teachers often got Glimmer and Elizabeth mixed up; Glimmer never understood why. She wore huge, round glasses and had a fascination with math that Glimmer could never possibly possess. It was true that they both had dyed hair, but her’s was far darker and nearly hit the floor. (How Elizabeth didn’t trip over it every time she stood up was a mystery Glimmer would never solve).

It wasn’t that Glimmer minded Elizabeth but-

“This is not the time!” Glimmer grabbed Bow’s hand and began dragging him towards the doors.

Before they could actually get out outside, Elizabeth popped up in front of them, grinning broadly and practically shouting when she spoke, “What were you saying about Adora?”

Elizabeth had a habit of appearing randomly in your face, without any warning and giving Glimmer a heart attack every time. That being said, Glimmer was having a heart attack. Even if Elizabeth hadn’t startled her by materializing out of the blue and effectively blocking her escape route, yelling about Adora in the middle of the library definitely would’ve been enough to push Glimmer off the edge.

Glimmer’s eyes widened and it felt like the wind had been punched out of her- a solid blow straight to core. She struggled to find anything to say, simply trying to remember how to breathe. Finally she shook her head and grabbed Bow and Elizabeth’s hand, “Out. Both of you.”

“Oh, wait- wow. Your hands are really strong.”

Glimmer ignored Elizabeth’s chatter as she barreled outside. When they turned the corner Glimmer let go of their hands and turned so she could glare at both of them. They stood with their backs to the building wall, shoulder to shoulder like a police line up.

The campus continued to move around them as they stood in awkward silence. Glimmer paced back and forth, wringing her hands. She had made an impulsive decision when she grabbed Elizabeth and now she had to deal with the consequences. Bow stood with his arms crossed, staring at random things and avoiding where Glimmer was treading miles through the sidewalk. Elizabeth on the other hand seemed to be entirely unbothered, humming to herself and fidgeting with something she had pulled out of her pocket.

Glimmer shook her head; she was being stupid, “Look, Elizabeth, I’m sorry I dragged you out here. I was really overreacting and I’m sorry you had to be a part of that. Just please don’t mention anything about Adora to anyone.”

“Hmm what?” Elizabeth jerked her head up, “Oh! Adora. Yeah, her, I think she’s cool. I think we might be friends. Not sure. That would be nice though.”

Elizabeth spoke in short, choppy sentences that bounced from one topic to another and made Glimmer’s head hurt. She pinched the bridge of her nose, “Yes, we’re talking about Adora. Just please forget I said anything about her.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re talking about Adora, you told me you were talking about Adora,” Elizabeth was moving her hands in front of her face like she was playing an invisible game of connect the dots, “But you don’t want me to know you were talking about Adora?”

Bow squinted, “Yeah that sounds about right.”

“Just, whatever you heard, don’t tell anyone any of it. Please?”

Elizabeth darted forward towards Glimmer, staring hard into her face. She continued to scrutinize Glimmer as she began to speak, “You have a crush in her don’t you?”

Glimmer’s hand itched to clamp itself over Elizabeth’s mouth. She let her own lips fall open, once again struggling desperately to find words to fill the space with. She attempted to regain some veneer of composure, standing up straighter and turning her chin slightly in the air, “I will neither confirm or deny anything concerning that matter.”

“So... is that a yes?”

“No! Its nothing!” Glimmer growled.

“You’re not acting like it’s nothing,” Bow spoke with a smug grin and subtly raised eyebrows.

Glimmer glared at Bow for a second before breaking off the staring contest by rubbing the palms of her hands upwards across her face and settling across her eyes. This situation had been out of her control since Weaver had assigned her to be partners with Adora. Maybe it had been out of her hands since Adora scampered into her seat in the first day of school, laughing loudly at something Cat had said. Now nothing was in her hands except her own tired fears.

“Hey,” Elizabeth’s voice broke through the darkness Glimmer was hiding behind, “I’ve gotta go so I’m just gonna... um, yeah, bye!”

Glimmer looked up to see Elizabeth jogging back to the library. The girl paused for a moment to wave before disappearing inside. Glimmer sighed and collapsed into a lump on the concrete. She looked up at Bow, “She’s going to say something isn’t she?”

Bow scratched the back of his head. It was possible he was trying to think, but it was more likely he was just buying time; Glimmer knew he didn’t want to say exactly what she knew he was going to say. He deflated and sat down next to Glimmer, “I don’t think she’d do it on purpose. She might just... forget not to.”

Glimmer flopped backwards. The clouds were drifting across the sky slowly; beautiful, serine motions that ran in paradox to her racing mind; so many thoughts and they all blurred together into one word. Shit.

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mieczyhale · 4 years

Text

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

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steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

Yugioh S4 Ep8: Magic Mai

So fun fact, I was out of town around this Thanksgiving and I grabbed a laptop from my Dad’s stack of machinery he’s sort of collected over the years and lo and behold--he put Linux on it.

Like I dunno if you all can relate to this problem, but everything he touches turns into Linux and he’s trying to live this Windows free/Mac free lifestyle, and I get it, I’m friends with so many vegetarians, but like I hate this laptop. I'm using Gimp to make these screenshots...So I can re-do them later in Photoshop because...it just doesn’t feel right to put Papyrus on this computer. It already has Linux. This poor machine has suffered enough. Long story short, this’ll be a small update because right clicking on linux is ass.

Also, because I was on a laptop and realized how small my blog is for the first time--I don’t have control over the size of pictures in text posts, tumblr does, and in this particular theme it’s not allowing me to change the size, and so do me a favor. Click ctrl and + at the same time a couple times (I’m assuming most of you are on firefox). There. the pictures are the right size now. If you hated that, you can click ctrl and - but like lets be real, my font is occasionally...tiny.

Anyway, we start discussing this episode on the confusing legs of the last one, where Mai is evil now, and it’s really not entirely clear if she’s possessed or if she’s just always been this way, or if she just FEELS like it.

And that’s all this episode is about, start to finish--is this Mai’s choice or was this not Mai’s choice? The answer is the same as it would be for a normal person: it’s complicated. Maybe it’s everybody’s choice. Maybe it was because no one did anything that Mai went completely haywire? Maybe it was because Mai hid how she was feeling so no one had any idea she needed help? Or, overall, maybe Mai is kind of a toxic person and wanted to be this way? Especially while she’s on children’s cartoon card drugs?

(read more under the cut)

So to start off, a weird thing happened at the beginning of this episode. After about 4 seasons, someone finally mentioned this:

How many seasons has Yugi been talking to himself? Like, out loud. In front of everyone and Kaiba? This whole time, right? Like Valon just dashed my headcanon where I figured Yugi was smart enough to think his thoughts instead of speak his thoughts. He’s just not that smart, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Mai has managed to attract this other (teenager?) guy and like...to go worse than Joey so quickly is kind of shocking. Mai just seems embarrassed by the amount of very young boys in love with her. And she’s not even a cougar about it, she doesn’t really seem to want this to happen but it keeps on happening.

And although he is essentially the card form of a drug pusher, Valon has this soft spot for a girl I guess to give him some sort of redeemable flaw. However, she only wears tube tops and minis and spends like hundreds of dollars on her hair, so it doesn’t really make him seem any less shallow, tbh.

PS I’m surprised, that unlike all the other characters on Yugioh, I can’t just type in Valon’s name into Google and get his age and weight. No idea what his age is, and if you know, feel free to tell me but he just seems...exactly the same age as Joey. He seems very 17. Maybe it’s the obsession with motorcycles and children’s playing cards? Maybe it’s his big ol childlike eyes? He just seems young and niave like how a teenager who just fell in love with a very angry older woman would.

Joey tries to remind everyone, multiple times, that this game is the worst idea ever since it requires one of them to super die, but Mai is on card drugs so I don't know why they bothered. Also, why is Joey still surprised by this after 4 seasons of this?

Yo it’s S4 and Mai witnesses magic non-stop but still has basically no idea how it works. She really did say “I have no soul” and it was like...I’m 90% certain she literally thinks she has no soul right now. Which I guess, statistically speaking, is rare to actually have a still intact soul after hanging out with the main villain, with the way this show typically goes.

Meanwhile, last episode it really sounded like Duke Devlin was driving to Pegasus’ company building. It really sounded like he would have gone directly there, since Weevil and Rex told him that Yugi was going to Pegasus.

Remember that Duke Devlin works for Pegasus and probably has his own parking spot.

So where did he go instead?

You know how there’s only one gas station in the entirety of America?

I can’t believe it blew up.

Y’all what is the red splotch in the middle of the pile ps? That is legitimately a pile of blood, right? I didn’t shop that in. There’s just a red puddle in this kid’s show.

Y’all what is that? Like was there a scene with a red handkerchief that I missed? Is that a red handkerchief?

But to move past the mysterious pool of blood that confirms those bikers are so hella dead, I have no idea why Duke was here, I have no idea how he got the tip off that Yugi visited this place, but then he turned around and went back to SF so like...I guess he’ll arrive 3 days from now because again, they are in Arizona. They keep telling me this is right outside SF but like--Mesas. There’s Mesas.

And then this happened.

That one guy on the writing staff who just stans Seto Kaiba so hard got into the drawing room, I see.

PS someone had to pose for this shot for them to draw this shot from this angle.

Meanwhile, lets see why Mai turned evil. Ah, because it is Yugioh, the biggest reason is that she has no friends (probably because she’s got the most acidic personality known to man) and isn’t card popular enough and got super bitter and jealous.

Speaking as an artist who is online, I can understand the frustration here. Sometimes (99% of the time) you work really hard and no one cares and you get like 2 notes. And honestly, why should they? Like, why do you do it in the first place?

Mai echoes a lot of the issues of Seto last season, where she wants so badly to be the absolute best to prove herself to the ghosts of her past who really don’t care any more.

But, since Mai was in a coma when Seto got through all of that, I guess she never got the memo and still seems stuck on just wanting to be the best with no other reason than “to be the best” which again, sounds so much like art school problems. This is everyone who has ever had an interest in animation. We all go through that phase.

Generally we don’t take peoples souls as a reaction to that type of discouragement, but then Mai made sure to mention in almost a foot note that she did spend like an entire season and a half trapped in Marik's shadow realm. And that kind of effed her up in a really big way.

Thanks, Marik.

Really feels like Marik should be dealing with this problem--really feels like maybe Marik is the only person that we can actually point to and say “Oh yeah, that guy is to blame for Mai right now” And he is the only person that Mai does not actively go out and try to kill.

And I’ll have you know I just deleted like a 15 K word rant about the difference between character assassination and your character just--evolving into a jackass, and how it’s OK to have your character change into a jackass, especially after trauma. I felt this need to really have to defend this ancient writing technique that people have been using since about as long as stories have been around.

Then I remembered “Oh yeah, I’m just making this point because a few number of very loud idiots on the internet want to have very lukewarm hot-takes about popular characters solely because they enjoy baiting people on twitter into getting into week-long arguments that don’t go anywhere.” and I just...let it go. I let it just...go into the ether. Ah. The peace that comes when you already know you’re right.

But anyway, back to Yugioh, which thankfully doesn’t take a stance on this nuanced subject, and only presents this very serious problem without actually offering a solution (because there isn’t a one fit’s all solution to falling off the deep end and getting into drugs and murder), Mai decides to just go and blame this decision she made on anyone else. Because, why take responsibility for your actions, when you can pin it on people who were on the other side of the freakin planet when it happened?

Like, I just want to remind y’all that she was in ATLANTIS.

I wonder how good the cell reception is in ATLANTIS.

I just...Mai is like in her mid twenties maybe thirty’s. She’s so arbitrarily old that she plays Yugi’s Mom in the video game spinoff where they’re reincarnations of medieval times. That’s how old she is.

Imagine if you made some epically BAD decisions because you were jealous of some teenager’s success and didn’t want to be weak anymore, and then you confronted those teens, and said “This is all your fault.”

Imagine looking someone as dysfunctional as Joey Wheeler and telling him “You made me like this” because lollllllll

And I present this as a joke but like basically this happens all freakin time. We’ve all had a friend like Mai. Past tense of course, because it’s really hard to keep a friend like Mai for very long. (One of my friend’s who went Mai destroyed my apartment one summer and then literally blamed it on me for going to California for 2 months and leaving her unattended.) But like...don’t let Mai’s do it to you. They can get better, but only if it’s their choice, really. You can’t force them to save themselves.

But, as Mai was finally ready to give up cards and probably improve her quality of life by a huge degree, unfortunately, she got sucked right back into the trap.

Bro note: being a serial murderer cultist is basically working at McDonald's in this universe so maybe this wasn’t even that weird?

But that aside, this is alllllmost like a dark version of “Mai got into an abusive relationship to fill the void in her heart” except she’s not even really dating this guy? Like she hates this guy? He’s just kinda there?

Y’all I really can’t tell if Valon is in an abusive relationship with Mai who is using him for power or if she’s in an abusive relationship with him because he only wants her pretty face and wants to kill Joey because Joey liked her once--and maybe it’s both? Maybe both of these people are just...really bad for each other?

Overall Joey is kind of tossed into this not-a-love-triangle and I’m like

“Hey show? show? Am I supposed to....were any these people ever dating? Is there supposed to be an implied history? Am I supposed to get attached to this?” because I mean...the only character who was able to get some actual physical romance on this show was Pegasus when he macked the ghost of his dead wife because, again, Pegasus is the freakin king of this entire show. Of course HE can do it.

But have this show clarify what the hell is happening between Valon and Mai? I’m gonna take a bet that we will never get to see it beyond Valon being like “Ain’t she a beaut!” Like Steve Irwin talking to an alligator, and Mai just pretending he doesn’t exist. Yugioh romances are so completely one way every single time. If something more than that happens, I’ll be

shook.

Anyway, as all the children on the show keep repeating over and over again, they haven’t had any contact with Mai since she left the freakin country and they went back to High School.

And so someone threatens to kill himself, as is Yugioh tradition, and someone else barks at him to NOT kill himself, as is also tradition, and they decide to play real cards next episode.

This whole entire episode, PS, Joey went out of his way to just...not play cards. that was this whole episode. Way to draw out a card game over three episodes, I guess.

Anyway if you want to read these from the start you can do so by clicking the link here

#yugioh #ygo #episode recap #photo recap #Yugi muto #mai valentine #Valon #joey wheeler #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #That moustache sideburns guy? I think his name is Raphael or something?#S4 #Ep 8 #PS I just noticed my episodes were numbered wrong #so that's nice #I may also decide to do some tagging shenanigans so you can have a link to read which season you would like to go to instead of just from S1 #but that will be when I get bored over christmas I have some client stuff to wrap up right now

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renees-bathtub-water · 3 years

Text

To describe how I’m feeling would almost be impossible, so when people ask how I’m doing, I just say that I’m okay. In reality I feel… stuck. Im stuck emotionally, and I’m stuck in the present world too.

Feels like everything around me is moving fast as shit whilst I’m trapped in this incredibly painful limbo. Should I be mad? Should I hate? Should I cry? Should I vomit? I don’t know. I don’t know what to do so my body kind of implodes and I feel everything at once all while feeling nothing at all.

“Just do what you love to do” I do. I still muster up enough lines on my iPad to make me not think of myself as a lazy piece of shit, usually I’d have someone to turn my iPad to with a happy reaction, reaffirming me with that I’m just an amazing artist, it just made me happy to show off my art. But now it’s just… quiet. I never know whether or not to cry when I finish a drawing, or just delete it. “You should be proud of yourself” I know, I get it, you wouldn’t be the first person to say that and you wouldn’t be the last.

I did everything I loved with them, I loved it and preferred it that way. I’ve been so used to their warmth for two years that I forgot how cold my apartment is. Their snores and their laughter carried throughout our home so loudly that I forgot how quiet and still my room is. I enjoyed and relied on their company so much that I forgot how painful loneliness is.

The thing is, I should hate them. I should despise them for everything they ever did to me and I should loathe them for everything they ever said to me, but how come every time I think about them all I can think about is how warm their gaze felt and not their hating hands? How come every time I think of the nasty words that came out of their mouth, I think about the way they kissed me so passionately that it felt like we’ve known each other for a lifetime? I literally would forget about everything when they had their head in my lap, I’d forget everything the way they spoke sweet nothings to me, I’d forget everything with their warm tight embrace. Everything seemed worth it to push through just for something as little and stupid as 5 minutes of their time.

But it’s all… gone. So fast. It was like I blinked and everything in my world began to crumble. I can’t… do anything? I don’t want to move. I don’t want to breathe. I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to laugh. I don’t want to smile. I just feel… numb. It just hurts worse to feel anything without them around, it feels wrong or inappropriate. I keep getting told over and over again that it’s better this way? That I’ll move on and find someone else?

I’m listening. I hear y’all. And I appreciate that y’all are just trying to help and make me feel better, but nothing anyone could say would make me feel any different. Because even through the most rough shit I’ve ever experienced, I don’t know how long it’ll be before someone ever makes me feel like this again. God just the rush id get hearing the front door open and their heavy steps up the stairs gave me a high like no other drug has ever given me. I was so happy and content in life that I was even comfortable giving up drugs, because enduring their love and touch sober was the most indescribable happiness I’ve EVER experienced.

I hate it. I hate the way I feel because they took advantage of my vulnerability. They used my insecurities against me. They walked all over me and even used me for physical gain. Even if it wasn’t their initial intention, it’s all I felt. And even when I tried to express my feelings I was either immediately shut out or immediately attacked, and the topic of conversation was no longer about how they hurt me but rather how I hurt them. I never got genuine apologies for the shitty behavior or words thrown in my direction, just forced half-bakes apologies that I felt like were only thrown out there to avoid confrontation and self reflection. I felt like all that shit was avoided because they couldn’t swallow their pride and realize how unhealthy their words and actions were. It felt like it was easier for them to just hurt me and forget about it than it was to just genuinely be sorry. And that hurt. It hurt so fucking bad but I loved them so much that I’d rather just be hurt and it be forgotten about than for them to just stop loving me. I’d drag myself through miles and miles of glass just to see them smile, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness over and over again.

I know that’s not healthy. I get it.

But I loved them so much. I loved them more than anything and that love was all I needed to feel purpose. It may be unhealthy to you, but they were the only reason I wanted to go to the gym, they were the only reason I wanted to get better at drawing, they were the only reason I wanted to make money so I could take them around the world. They were what made me healthy. It’s not like I relied on them, but they just kept me going. I thought I had found my forever person so I was just adapting to life as that’s how I was gonna spend the rest of my life. But that’s not the case anymore.

I’ve woken up every day sobbing. I shower and I sob because I just want to yell their name and have them come in just for a quick kiss. I exercise and I sob because I can only imagine the sweet texts they’d shoot my way if they were there with me. I lay in bed and I sob because all I can think about is their face above mine telling me how beautiful I am.

I fucking break down every day because I miss rubbing my face against theirs, my favorite thing to do in this world, more intimate than fucking, more personal than a kiss. I loved feeling their face against mine, it was just a personal connection that I don’t just do with anyone. I know that probably sounds incredibly weird, but that’s just how I express my love and vulnerability to someone. I’m very… animalistic. And for those who actually know me, I know, “haha you’re a furry digitally and in real life,” and sure, I am. There’s just something so connecting about rubbing noses and faces against each other, I literally can’t describe it. Like I said, I value that shit more than I do kissing and sex.

To end it all, I’m miserable. I’m saving up to move out of this state because I can’t handle seeing their face anymore and I don’t even want to hear their name. It’s shitty because everyone keeps pounding down my throat that I’ll move on and I’ll forget about them, but I won’t. They have the comfiest couch in my head, they have a bed, they have a whole room. I can move on with my life and I can grow, but they’re always going to be there, and there’s always going to be a place in my heart for them. I’m hoping that I’ll stop hurting, but I’ll never stop loving.

So maybe I’ll never stop hurting. Maybe I’ll just continue existing as an empty shell.

who knows

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murfeelee · 6 years

Text

CC Creators Questions

I saw this on my dash and got so excited -- a questionnaire for CC makers! :D

1. What was the hardest project you’ve worked on so far?

Y’all have no bloody clue how many unfinished projects I have given up on, and how much time I spend/waste on CC I never even finish. I often have no idea what I’m doing, and once I reach a certain point where the effing thing just won’t come out right, and I don’t know who to ask for help, or I do and never get a response, I just lose total willpower to keep going.

2. How long have you been creating cc?

2010-ish -- that’s when I first started uploading to TSR at least, ider. Early on it was just simple wall art (an effton of murals) but I kept reading the tutorials at BPS & MTS & TSR, and once I figured that out I started trying out rather craptastic conversions that are still up for DL, if y’all wanna point and laugh at me. :P Effing sad. Some of it turned out pretty okay though, IMO.

3. What’s your most favorite thing you’ve created?

At TSR my favorite CC uploads are the Clutter Bug and LOTR Scribe sets.

The admins gave me such a hard time when I first submitted this, and I had to throw out like half of the objects included in the set, cuz of the effing UV Maps and blah blah. But the rest of it came out cool.

I am constantly using those objects in my lots. Constantly. The LOTR period was also the very first time I learned about making Alpha Channels on .dds textures -- that opened up so many possibilities! Single objects I’m also really proud of over there are the Ivy/Flower Column, and the Vintage Art Collage, which I also use a lot.

At Tumblr this is a lot harder for me to decide on, since after I came here I could do and make so much more than what was allowed at TSR. I think I had the best time converting from The Witcher 3. I effing love that game. But I also think just the process was the easiest for me, cuz I’ve been doing this crap for a while now and finally knew wtf I was doing -- except the CAS stuff. O_O LAAAAAWD! I gave up on that junk quick fast and in a hurry -- NOPE! Not today, Satan! But yeah, I really like some of the stuff I did from that game, like the Peacocks (duh) and everything I shared for my Lupo Bianco gameplay.

4. What’s your most hated thing you’ve created?

Things I hate don’t get uploaded. XD Y’all think I complain about the crap I DO upload -- that’s cuz I’m being honest when I tell y’all that my work has flaws that I don’t know how to fix, or don’t have the energy to work on anymore. Practically all of my CAS CC is a raggedy amateur mess. I hold on to a lot of crap that I just can’t upload in good consciousness, cuz I know how I react when I install others’ CC and I’m using it thinking wtf, did they upload the wrong file by accident? :P

5. What inspires you to create?

When I first started, it was cuz it was still early in TS3, and the game was still pretty empty, and I didn’t have any of the EPs/SPs/Store CC yet, so I was desperate for content. Then once I started converting, and realized that I could extract stuff from other games myself, I immediately knew that I wanted to recreate my favorite games in TS3. I’m inspired by the fandoms I’m part of, and my style of simming mostly revolves around me trying to create my own extended version of other games and shows I like.

6. What gets you unmotivated to do anything or to delete your project?

Failure. When things start going wrong, I quickly get frustrated and lose patience. I post WIPs sometimes that I don’t even end up revisiting. I just can’t fix the crap, so I rapidly lose the energy or desire or interest in the entire project. I often blame it on laziness, when really I just give up. :\

7. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do/do better?

I generally just stick to what I know and am comfortable with, which is why y’all don’t see me making build mode stuff, or much functional buy mode cc, or mods/scripts, or creating skintones or poses, or any of the cool stuff I’d love to make but just can’t figure out for the life of me. U_U

8. How long does it usually take you to make something?

Depends on the project, and my motivation to see it to the end. Some stuff will sit on the back-burner for literal years before I finally go back to it. I’ll tell myself I’ll work on it later. Lies, mostly. ^_^

9. Is there a certain schedule you stick to when publishing?

Unless there’s a certain holiday/event going on, where the CC needs to be finished now! now! now! (Halloween & Lunar New Year are my busiest times), I just do what I want. I get so distracted, and often I’m working on a zillion things at once. Sometimes I’m running on pure adrenaline and not sleeping, to make sure I finish the CC on time. I feel bad if I miss something going on that I could’ve participated in, but most times I just tell y’all the CC’s still in beta, and it’ll be ready when it’s ready. :P

10. Your favorite programs to work with?

Crazy as it sounds, Milkshape. :P I effing hate Blender. I don’t understand it -- there are too many buttons and controls and everything’s just a confusing mess. 3DS Max is easier for me! O_O I legit can’t even figure out the frikkin view/camera in Blender! And you constantly have to switch between modes, and everything’s buried under all those effing THINGS on the sides, and I can’t stand it. >_<

11. Who do you look up to (creator wise)?

For CC in general, I worship Sandy/AroundTheSims; always have. Everything they make is just so clean and professional and works splendidly in game. Jelly.

12. How many projects do you have at the moment?

An ungodly number, half of which will no doubt be abandoned before y’all even get the chance to hear about them. :P

13. Screenshot your wips folder (if you have one)

Cute of you to assume I have just one WIPs folder, in one fixed location. XD

That’s what my backup’s thematic specific folder looks like, but that’s not where I keep any of my other game conversions WIPs -- those are all over the place. I’ve had to restart several projects after my external harddrive broke, and now especially I’m keeping everything in different locations and on different drives.

14. Do you plan on creating for a long time or is there a certain period you know you’ll stop?

Dunno if I’ll ever stop, but I know I’m slowing down; I have been for a while now. I’m tired. I hate making CC. It’s stressful, exhausting, time-consuming, and no dang fun, especially when crap is going oh so wrong and you have to keep quitting the game, doing crap over, loading the game, seeing if it’s fixed, and trying not to cry when it’s not. I do this crap out of desperation, when there’s something in particular that I want that I can't find a good substitute for in the game or community at large. So as long as I’m still simming, I know I’m gonna keep being forced by necessity to make crap. But I doubt I’ll ever go back to the workhorse nonsense I was up to in like 2015/6 or whenever my “heyday” was, when I was still experimenting like mad and learning everything.

15. What helps you keep focus during your creating process?

I play a lot of music, that fits the theme of the CC I'm working on, or is lifting my spirits at the time. I can’t work in silence. IDKY, it just makes me bored and tired.

I tag all y’all who ever made anything for us poor unfortunate souls!

#simblr #questionnaire #murf is a derp #sims 3 cc

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bannanaswishes · 6 years

Photo

Small vent piece....kinda vent???? IDK :V my feelings be under the cut to save y’all who don’t wanna read it from having to.

Had a horrible week and a super stressful day at work last night (we had 5020 customers...thanks black friday...) And nothing seemed to relax me, not even a hot shower and coffee. So I was scrolling through my flashdrive looking at my old art to see if laughing at my shitty old art from like 2012 would cheer me up. and I stumbled on old chibi art of the old Booksharp trio.

And back in the day drawing those three book worms really made me happy when I was in the dumps. While I couldn't fully draw the third member of this old trio, because I’m not allowed to, because ya boi’s a heathen for having them honest feelings.

Recently I haven't stopped thinking about the old trio. The third member especially as I’ve heard around that he seems to have been shafted/ignored a bit. which makes me feel bad that he doesn't get the attention I feel he deserves (he was my favorite back in the day. He was the inspiration that lead me to make Gigit /attempt drawing my fav pokemon, Bisharp. Because of all those years I watched the character grow and interacted with him, I really to worry and hope he’s not just getting left on a shelf to gather dust. it breaks my heart when that happens to any character. More so if i actually loved the character.). And some of my friends have told me to let him die off and pretend he and his owner never existed. I’m not that kind of person. Now I am not mad or even upset at his owner, despite some people thinking I should be. Some people think I should scorn her to the ends of the earth. I’ve had to tell several people who got a bit aggressive towards my old friend that it doesn't matter that she wasn’t my friend, I was still hers, because i really don't like people saying extreamly hurtful things about her. She made bad choices, and so did I for not speaking up sooner in that situation. I don’t see her a monster for a misunderstanding, even though i feel the punishment was a bit excessive. But that’s just me. I’ve long move passed how hurt i was over that drama when Gigit’s design was fucked with. I truly hold no ill will or resentment towards that person.

But I can’t bring myself to up and forget them. I have a lot of good memories, and the art i made with this trio especially really boosted my spirits and got me through stressful situations in high school. I cant tell you how many anxiety attacks I curbed thanks to notebook doodles of this bucket butts. The missing characters owner may hate me, but I never would wish harm or even back luck on that person, because i was her friend. To an extent I still am, I would forgive that person, I would start new and hold no ill will, I wouldn't even hold passed issues against them. Because i am not a hateful person, I dont want to let something some kid did to me effect how i see others over miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Regardless even though I could only faintly draw the silhouette of this character (who I spent years drawing around 60-70 images of) It really made me feel better. I mean I cried a lil bit, only while typing this, not because I’m super sad, I mean yes I am sad, but because I did feel better drawing this. I know the Booksharp’s will never be the same, they went from a trio to a duo, and I couldn't bring myself to replace the third member. No-one can replace him. But IDK why this made me feel better and relax after this hectic week. But it did. Maybe its just because I’ve finally climbed out of that massive pit of depression loosing someone I cared about because of how I felt when my character was being treated poorly, of course that whole became a canyon over the course of that issue from the first seconds of when gigit was recolored, to the last seconds when I was bitch slapped with a labels and rumors that weren't true about me because i was wrong in trusting some kid with helping me handle my feelings because i was too scared to tell my friend how i was feeling because people put thoughts in my head that shed just attack me, while my fears came true because she got only half the story and by then i deleted proof of my side because i was told no one would listen to me. Regardless, it took me almost 2 years to finally stop crying from how much it hurt. Maybe drawing this helped me feel better because it was my favorite character, and all the pain i used to feel thinking about him or his owner has gone away, so i guess i am able to enjoy the good times i used to have. and move on with having that book finally close.

While i forgive the owner of this character, I will never forgive the other person. I trusted them when they offered me help and turned around and posted half the story to people leading to rumors and stigma against me. I may never forgive that person. But i wont hate someone I happily called my friend for the actions and miscommunication caused between me and a different person.

even typing this, makes me feel better. I know I would willingly give this person another chance, despite me knowing full well she would probably rnever share the sentiment. Yes i feel the punishment was excessive for something that was effecting me more than her, and i wish i could tell her how i felt, and how it effected me, but i know she’s put up an iron wall. I’m ok with that. My door will always be open though. I want to try and be an optimist that maybe we could clear the bad air just so its clear, even if we never speak again after.

this simple doodle really made me feel better. Its a shame i couldn't draw all three bookworms the way i really wanted to. but this really made me feel better.

sorry for rambling it really come up as word vomit when im upset or stressed.

#vent #nanna peelz #vent warning #ignore me #vent art #kinda vent art #gigitbishvoir #caradocbisharp #???bisharp #booksharps #bisharp #pokemon #you are forgiven

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askkav-archived · 7 years

Text

And I wrote this long ass post much like last time.

- Also because Y’all Should Sit Back, Chill and Think for a Bit-

Currently, there’s a split within the OP ask blog community and though I didn’t help matters neither by re-blogging one post over the other but part of me felt like the post in itself was too personal and complained about their own feelings and not realizing the feelings of other parties within the community.

Inclusive/Exclusive

So first off, let's talk about inclusivity and exclusivity in this community.

Yes there's some obvious borders between groups of friends and bloggers; there is nothing wrong with that - Because it's not uncommon for those who have the same viewpoint, beliefs or sense of humor as one another to band together and have inside jokes and other socialization between one another (to which helps better the interaction between those blogs, in character, as well).

Repeat. There is nothing wrong about that.

What I feel is wrong is that people, who feel left out of these group, complain or vague about the fact that they are not included in these groups - or feel so entitled as to be part of it, if they don't constantly participate with these groups of people. It's not them, it's you.

I'm not part of the groups; though I wish to I don't like the thought of being socially exhausted to talk one on one with good friends I've made on this blog for I don't know, popularity.

Also it’s preference of mine to work with one or a few people at once than a large amount within a group due to my anxieties and issues of disassociation.

So, the question now is, how do we be more inclusive within this community?

Talking, interacting with others (whether in character or out of character) and sending asks is one step - Remember, take baby steps if needed. Send an ask if they have a meme up, talk more with them and key point - be genuine about your interactions with them.

Communication between muns or mods of blogs can and will create both a narrative and how their muses interact with one another. It also helps with boundaries and what to do and not to do when dealing with each other and your muses.

Be more open and inviting of others’ to interact with you - At times the other party is anxious or shy due to various reasons, the best thing to do is be more direct with those that make hints they want to.

(But those who are shy or anxious, please understand that the other party shouldn’t always be the one to hit them up.)

Here's some facts you need to know as well:

Not everyone will like you (nor your muse, ay I understand this completely).

Not everyone will be welcoming as you would hope (due to circumstances or past experiences they never have to disclose because it's personal.)

Not everyone will think like you or share your opinion, but that does not give you or the other party the right to disrespect one another or push aside opinions and force it on others.

OC blogs, this one is important, not all canon blogs are expected to know or work with your canon or your stories! Don’t expect canon blogs to follow along with you, you’re not entitled to their complicity.

At times, mods of muses are selective - for good reason AND they don’t have to give reason behind it. Respect it.

Another important note; some muses just don’t click and of course, that’s how things work in this world. Some people cannot click and if it doesn’t, don’t force it and leave it well alone. There’s other people you can easily work with and their muses.

Pedestals and Glorification

Respect, much like a few other things, is a two way street - it needs to be given on both or more parties.

Both parties needs to understand that the other person is a human being, with their own beliefs, opinions and ideals. Please respect that.

So let's get to that talk, about placing others' on pedestals and glorifying some muses over others and creating borders between us, as a community.

You don't mean to do so, that's what you say but you can't help it because you're a fan and you really do love that muse or character - but what you think is harmless, also does push others' away from wanting to interact with those same people.

Like I said, we're all human - The characters we portray are much like so, complicated and multifaceted characters and can't be 'placed' in one category over another. That just simplifies them and nulls their growth as a character.

Putting others' on a pedestals creates this imbalance; a lot of people who are leaders or respected within a community or other spaces will understand this - it's a responsibility.

Some misuse it for their own benefit or abuse it.

Though others' like myself have anxieties with being put on pedestals; due to the fact I don't want to have this false image in someone's mind and then tearing down their expectations because I'm not like what they had assume at first.

Assumptions and expectations; I usually am not that. I'm cold, distant and often times not invested in things right off the bat as you would think.

You will eventually grow to dislike me for it or don't wish to be associated with me; was it my fault? No. You placed expectations on a person you didn't completely know from the beginning.

As someone who doesn't like being placed on such things; I don't do the same with others' or place them higher than myself - we as people, artists and even ask blog owners are on the same level. You have to keep that in mind. Don't demean yourself, your characters or even your art/writing skill level.

Again, it creates imbalance and discomfort, to both parties.

Popularity

So far, from what I've come to know about this community, in the 6 or so months I’ve been in it, is that it feels more of a popularity contest - between blogs and seeing who has more notes and more interactions than the next blog, which is actually a problem.

I'm not part of like huge groups; so I can look at things from afar and am not bias to choose one over the other.

It's clearly there, for everyone to see just how everyone here is out for that - popularity. Which in itself, isn't a bad thing to want but if it's your focal point of doing this - then here's a list of things you shouldn't do.

You don't own the fandom; don't use your popularity or even your higher fanbase as a means to control others or force your opinion onto others', also your headcanons. Not cool.

Not everyone has to interact or rp with you because you have a swelled head.

Don't let the popularity get the best of you or give you the idea that your opinion or yourself has more importance than other.

Don't ruin others' experience by pushing them aside because you don't feel the same as others about them.

Don't use other blogs as a means to be popular. Especially with such a huge following.

Dealing with Hate

You know, there's not a lot of others' who tell you the anxieties and pressure of owning an ask blog - It's pretty tough seeing as you don't get paid to do this and it's often times stressful, especially if you get unwanted attention like anonymous people putting you down for your portrayal and other little things.

It can be disheartening and depressing.

There’s a few ways to deal with the hate coming your way.

Ignore it.

Block them

Address it, if you wish to but don’t post the ask but screenshot it

Look it happens, people don’t have the same headcanons, ships, beliefs, etc, etc so you’re going to be met with some opposition. Just delete or block the anons that send negative asks or anon hate.

I know it’s difficult but you need to understand that people who don’t tell it to your face about their opinions in person and not hiding behind grey faces aren’t really worth trying to convince at all. Don’t turn out to be like them and let it go.

Continue on, there’s other people who like what they’ve seen so far. There’s people who are supportive of your choices because you are enjoying yourself and having fun, along with them. Let that be your drive and just leave those salty jerks who want you to be a certain way.

This is your thing; this is you putting your creativity, time and effort into a character you want to portray how you see them - there’s nothing wrong with that.

#ooc; (kav) talks #;; psa #;; long post #// psa ; read if you wish to #// though you really should #// reblogs are alright as well #// I did my best to keep in mind of BOTH canon and oc blogs

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iwroteinapastlife · 7 years

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Tearing Through the Pages and the Ink + all questions (1-15)

Omg, I wasn’t expecting that XD Thank you for asking!!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Well, when I sat down and decided to write afull blown multi-chapter fic, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or evenwhere I was going with it. I had this wonderful prompt from @piebsa that I knewwould open up endless opportunities for growth both in the charactersthemselves and in their relationship with each other, so I kind of just set outto depict that growth and let it go wherever it led me. It led me to a lot ofChloé angst and a lot of Nath narration and honestly I’m pretty okay with that.

2. What scene did you first put down?

I think it was the second section in the veryfirst chapter in which Nathanaël is in the hallway outside Chloé’sdoor and he doesn’t want to be there. I remember specifically that the line “somethingin Nathanaël snapped,” was one of thefirst things I came up with, because without that line, none of the developmentwould have been possible. Nath would have just let Chloé stomp all over himinstead of standing up for himself and we can’t have that, now can we?

3. What’s your favorite line of narration?

*Spends roughly an hour skimming through everysingle chapter* …I really don’t know. I guess I really like this line from Nath’sdream: “Bright blue eyes glowed in the dark, staring back at him. Wide withwonder, vacant of fear. They shone so bright in the vague, twisting,disoriented world that he could never believe them to be anything less than abeacon of hope, a saving grace, exactly what he needed, wanted, yearned for” (Chapter 15), mostly because I lovewriting kinda surreal color dreaminess like that. I also like any instance of “Art.The reason he was there,” or any of its variants, because Nathanaël’sgonna have to come up with a new reason eventually XD Also in my top faves is “She may not haveseen colors the way other people did, but she would have had to be completelyblind to not see the way her question had momentarily shattered him” (Chapter 8), because one of my main goalswith this fic is to talk about Chloé’s relationship with her father and I feellike that moment is a pretty good representation of it (in TttPatI at least; see rant below).

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

“Chloé…I think that somewhere on the inside…you’rea really great person” (Chapter 13), because my babies are growing :’)

5. What part was hardest to write?

Definitely Chloé’s healing conversation withSimon in Chapter 14. I wanted them to heal together and I knew I needed to showit rather than just casually mentioning it later or something, but my brain was extremely reluctant to actually writethat scene. I probably completely deleted three Word documents in my process tofinally arrive at what I posted, and even then I was like ‘Aight this isacceptable, I’m just gonna go with it.’

6. What makes this fic special or different fromall your other fics?

It’s the first and only multi-chapter fic I’vedone so far. Every other fic that I write, whether it’s a small drabble for arequest, or even a huge one shot that I’m doing for me, I view as a sort ofside project, whereas TttPatI is MY BABY. It is the fic that I have poured myblood, sweat, and tears into; I sold my soul for this fic.

7. Where did the title come from?

AHHHH MY FAVORITE QUESTION! The title is a linefrom the song Colors by Halsey. Thatsong appears repeatedly in the chapter titles and the lyrics that I put at the beginningof chapters because literally that one song is the main inspiration for thisentire fic. Both in content and imagery, it has had a major influence on thiswork. I knew the second I started that I wanted the title to be from that song,and so I actually spent a day or two listening to that song on repeat and consideringeach and every line until I felt I had found one that really encapsulated thefic as a whole. I ended up choosing the line “tearing through the pages and theink,” because I felt that it aptly conjured the idea of stripping away all thelayers that these two (mostly Chloé) have built up until we get to see theirraw, unhindered, true colors bleedingthrough.

8. Did any real people or events inspire any partof it?

Other than songs, no not really.

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I don’t think so? Back when my plan wasn’t quiteset I had a lot of different ideas for backstories and possible endings, buthonestly they sucked and I’m glad I came up with new ones.

10. Why did you choose this pairing for this particularstory?

Because I wanted to make them fall in love. WhenI started this fic, we hadn’t heard a thing about Queen Bee yet. No one knewthat Chloé was going to be having any character development coming up, and so,ChloNath really wasn’t a ship. Back then, I could literally say with 100%certainty that I had seen and read every single piece of ChloNath content thatthe fandom contained, because there was so very little of it. But I loved it. It was the strangest thingwhen I first saw any content for it, because I was like ‘I guess??? I neverreally thought about it?????’ and then the more I thought on it the more Iliked it and wanted to see how it worked. I knew that it could never happenwith the way that the characters are right this moment in the show, and so Isought to make the changes and development that would make it happen. TLDR: Iwanted to redeem Chloé enough to justify ChloNath.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

The colors and the music. I really went all outfor the aesthetics of this fic.

12. What do you like least about this fic?

That I’ve somewhat demonized André Bourgeois D:I honestly don’t think he’s cold and distant canonically. If you think I’mwrong, go rewatch Princess Fragrance and pay attention to his face when PrinceAli’s assistant lady is saying he doesn’t have time for fun activities. Do yousee how sad André looks? Right there in that frame I see a man who is saddenedby the fact that this boy in front of him doesn’t have time to enjoy hischildhood. I see a man who has his own daughter who he adores and who he wouldhate to limit in any way. I think he spoils Chloé, not because he’s too busyfor her and wants to buy her with gifts, but because he legitimately wants togive his daughter the whole world. In addition, watch how he acts whenever hegets Chloé back from a dangerous akuma. He’s always so frightened for hersafety and is so freaking relieved when LB and CN save her and he hugs her andit’s so heartwarming.

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get inthe mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what doyou think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Y’all are lucky that a few months ago I actuallyspecifically put together an aesthetic playlist for TttPatI, otherwise the listwould be out of control. Here’s a link.

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learnfrom reading this fic?

That there are real reasons for why Chloé actsthe way she does in the show. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that thereasons I’ve come up with for TttPatI are canon (they’re probably not; seeabove rant about André Bourgeois), but I just want people to keep their mindsopen for Chloé. I’ve seen so many people just blindly hate her, totallyunwilling to consider what lies beneath the surface with her. There were somany people totally upset by the idea that she would be Queen Bee because theyactually think that she’s just terrible and they refuse to see past the flatcharacter that we’ve seen so far. But please please try to see past that. In a well-crafted show like MiraculousLadybug, no important character is going to be left so shallow withoutdeveloped motives and/or backstories. (I have feels about this with Papillontoo, but that’s a discussion for another time)

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

…That I love Nathanaël. Not even kidding, before Istarted working on this fic I did not adore our smol tomato son like half thefandom does. I felt as much for him as I did for any of the ML supporting cast.I decided to start working with him because of Chloé and what I thought hecould bring to her, but the more I’ve worked with him both here and in otherfics, the more I’ve come to absolutely love him. I’ve seen him go in a milliondifferent directions (I’ve even taken him in greatly varied directions myself) andevery time I just love him. He’s so much fun.

Thank you so much for asking, this was a lot of fun!

#tttpati

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