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legless-fish-on-rollerskates · 3 years

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All the morons trying to claim that Dean wasn't saying anything to Cas because he was holding back slurs or something equally ridiculous... what show have you been watching? Surely not Supernatural. Like, yeah, Dean had some internalized shit for a while (mostly cause of how he was raised, let's be real), but this isn't season fucking one. Dean's in his goddamn forties now guys.

But you still think Dean Winchester is homophobic? Let's examine the evidence then, shall we?

1. Aaron Bass: Dean was flustered because he's not used to being hit on by dudes, but he was completely respectful. And he was alone, too. It wasn't like he was trying to "hide his homophobia" from Sam. He could've said whatever he wanted in that moment without anyone ever knowing, and he chose to awkwardly walk backward and wish Aaron a nice day. Then later, when they're working with him, Dean says nothing about it (other than a quick "he was my gay thing" to Sam), doesn't make it weird, and talks to him exactly the same way he would talk to anyone else.

2. Jesse and Ceasar: Dean's surprised when he realizes that they're married, again because he's not really used to it and so he made the wrong assumptions (which I will point out is really really normal, it happens all the time even between queer people, because heteronormativity is very much a thing in real life). But what does he do when he finds out? He asks them about their marriage - with genuine curiosity. What's it like to be in a relationship with a hunter, is it hard, all that jazz. Never asks about the fact that they're both men, none of those gross "so who's the woman" questions, literally just. Talking to two married hunters. That's it. Then later, when they're working, he never once questions their capability as hunters or suggests that they're weak in any way. There's no "you're less 'manly' because you're gay" mindset at all. And at the end of the episode he's genuinely happy for them, two hunters who managed to get out of the life and retire together.

There's lots of other examples (several male cops have been obviously into him over the years, his reaction to Jody talking about Claire and Kaia, all the subtext surrounding Lee, etc.) but for my last one for now, let's not forget...

3. Charlie fucking Bradbury: Arguably Dean's best friend besides Cas (no I haven't forgotten about Benny, I love Benny, but he was part of a very specific chapter of Dean's life and that chapter is done). We've known she was a lesbian from the get-go, and Dean takes it in stride when he finds out, immediately improvising to coach her through some painfully awkward flirting so she can get into the office ("you've just come home, and Scarlett Johansson is waiting for you"). And yes, there's the whole "I feel dirty" "yeah so do I" bit there, but that's clearly established as a joke, plus the guy was gross - as someone who is attracted to both women and men, I would feel dirty after flirting with him too.

The next few times we see Charlie, she and Dean are geeks and dweebs together, Dean is having more fun than we've seen in years, and we see him be a really good friend - in some ways, a better friend than he is to Cas. Charlie talks to him a little bit about girls, they LARP, they go shopping together, Dean comforts her when she has to let go of her mom. When she's killed, he gets so upset he goes on a murderous rampage (maybe not the most healthy way to deal with greif, but nonetheless showing how much she mattered to him). When he sees an alternate version of her in trouble he's immediately ready to risk his own life to help her even though she doesn't know him. He loved her like a sister, and he never once expressed any issues with her sexuality.

So let's go back to Cas. Cas is in love with Dean. Not much of a surprise there, he's said it before. But this is the first time Dean understands that that's what he's saying. It makes sense that he's a little stunned, especially considering that Cas is also saying that he's about to die. I mean, if your best friend of twelve years told you one day that they've been in love with you all along, that just knowing you has irrevocably changed them for the better, and that also by the way telling you this means they're going to die, mightn't you be rendered a tad speechless?

Dean does not hate Cas for this. Not at all. Because whether or not Dean is bi, whether or not he reciprocates, Cas is still his best friend. We've seen how hard Dean grieves every time Cas dies. We know how much Cas matters to him. Of all the shit they've put each other through, there's absolutely no logical reason for this to be the thing that damages their friendship beyond repair. Not after everything. No fucking way.

Dean says nothing because he doesn't know what to say, because he's still processing Cas's confession but also already grieving and blaming himself for Cas's death. The way he breaks down at the very end of the episode? That's not a man who's disgusted. That's a man who's shattered.

How dare you try to simplify this incredibly complex and emotional moment into Dean being a dick. How dare you. It's positively insulting. The entire point of Cas's speech was that Dean is so much more than that. If you can't see that, than I'm sorry, but you're missing the whole message of the show.

Supernatural is about family and sacrifice. It's about free will, making your own choices. And it's about being more than just who you're supposed to be, going beyond what other people want or assume. All the depth beneath the surface. That's the show. That's why we're still watching after all this time. Because it means something important. Something relevant. Something real.

Don't you fucking discredit that.

(thank you for coming to my TED talk)

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sxveme-2 · 3 years

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blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Eight: The One With the Party

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3083

Now, nothing in Lily's life ever really came easy, quick, or without some sort of repercussion. It was as though the universe had decided that she hadn't been through enough in her fairly young life already. Hence why it didn't surprise her when the communication between her and Bucky fell off, or more so, never really started. The day at the cafe had been nice, they didn't exactly speak and they were at separate tables, but even Rose noticed the shy glances her older sister would send to the man across the way. Which of course lead to teasing and taunting the rest of the night and for a few days.

Three weeks later, she hadn't seen him. It didn't help that the hospital had scheduled Lily for multiple shifts of overtime and staying late. Which resulted in Hunter spending extra days at Scott’s, and Lily not being at the cafe as often as she typically was. Flu season had come around and all parents believed their kid may have something more serious, but it was simply a lot of flu vaccinations, the odd time an appendicitis surgery. Routine procedures, just a lot of work.

On a chilly day at the end of September, for once, Lily could wake up without having to go to work for twelve hours or more. Her son snoring gently beside her after crawling into her bed from a nightmare the night before, and Joey snuggled at the end. Her deep green eyes fluttered open as the phone on her nightstand buzzed like crazy. Rubbing her eyes, Lily's other hand reached out to grab hold of the device, blurry eyes seeing Bucky's contact pop up on the screen.

With a groggy voice and a confused expression, Lily slid her thumb across the screen to answer, "Hello?"

"Lady Lily! It's Thor! Son of Odin!" a booming voice yelled into the phone, startling the young blonde. Her eyes glanced to her right to check to see that Hunter still laid fast asleep, and to ensure it stayed that way, the doctor slipped out of the bed and out into the hallway. When she closed the door, Thor continued his yelling, "I have stolen sergeant Barnes’s cellular device! I have overheard him and Captain Rogers discussing his feelings towards you!"

Lily winced at the loud voice radiating through her ear. She hadn't met Thor officially, just seen him with the others at the table weeks before. Personally, Lily wasn't interested in blondes, but no one could deny an attraction to the god. You could be the largest lesbian in the world and still would not mind getting down and dirty with the son of Odin. But of course, for the most part, Lily had only been staring at Bucky. And it didn't go unnoticed to many, especially the other Avengers

"I'm sorry? His attraction?" Lily muttered, still attempting to wake herself up from the much-needed sleep she had been woken up from. She wrapped one arm around herself while resting the other elbow on her hand, shivering slightly at the cool temperature of her home.

"Yes! This is lady Lily correct? If so, then I have an invitation for you! Sergeant Barnes does not know about this, nor does anyone else. But it is our dear friend Sam Wilson’s birthday!" he continued to boast, resulting in Lily holding the phone an inch or so away from her ear, "and I believe it would make Sergeant Barnes happy if you came. And bring your friend and sister! Sam has a small thing for lady Rose."

Before Lily could even answer, there was a crash on the other end of the line and the call went dead. Lily could only assume that Bucky had noticed the conversation taking place and shut it down, leaving Lily with a possibly life-changing decision on her plate, but she didn't know that yet. All she knew, was that Gen and Rose would go to any lengths to get Lily to attend the party, saying things like 'it'll be good for you' or 'you can see your loverboy again'. And Lily couldn't deny, she'd love to see Bucky again. But she'd be damned if she admitted it out loud.

-----

After walking joey, the three Osborne’s loaded into the car and drove down the busy roads of New York to Gen's cafe. Scott was picking Hunter up for the weekend, which meant that Lily was free for the night anyway, so maybe the party wasn't such a bad idea? But if you could deduce anything about the blonde, it's that she hated large gatherings and commotion. It made her anxious and paranoid about something that could go wrong. Plus, last time there was any real party like this in her life, she had been shown a video of her husband locking lips with a young brunette who looked about half his age.

"Hunt why don't you go see if there are any treats you can bring for Leila in the back," Lily whispered to her son with a gentle smirk on her face, "I have to talk to aunt Rose and auntie Gen for a few minutes." she continued, ruffling the boy’s hair and sending him on his way to the kitchen around the corner.

The two girls that were sitting opposite of Lily looked at her with matching skeptical expressions, both of their left eyebrows perked with interest as Lily sent her son away. Whenever this happened, Lily usually seemed to drop a ball on the two. Whether it was when she announced her pregnancy, being chosen as valedictorian, or when she shared the news of her divorce. Typically things that Hunter wouldn't understand, or wasn't old enough to know or mature enough to hear. But this was mostly so he didn't grow saddened at the idea of his mother hanging around his idols.

"So I was woken up by a strange phone call from Bucky Barnes," Lily began, and the two girls across from her simultaneously dropped their jaws. Lily held her finger up to signal that she wasn't finished with her story and for them not to jump ahead and get crazy ideas, "but on the other end was actually Thor. He invited us to Sam's birthday party tonight."

This caused shit-eating grins to replace the curious smiles on Gen and Rose's faces. Rose clapped her hands together, while Gen just shook her head in disbelief. These two women were Lily's closest companions in life. Rose was her biological sister that she had no choice but to deal with, sure, but their relationship was more than that. It was deeper and held more meaning than a simple sister relationship. They could lean on each other in times of need and never kept secrets, as far as the other knew. Most kids with multiple years between them aren't as close or never really bond, but Rose and Lily always clicked. Mostly because of their opposing personalities, which was the same as Gen. Gen was Lily's sister from another mister. From the moment they met, they were perfect, and things hadn't changed in all those years leading to this.

"Well, obviously we're going!" Rose exclaimed, pulling out her phone, "I will get the best dresses from my agency and ensure we look unclockable!" the younger Osborne sister beamed while excusing herself to make a few calls, to make sure they looked as good as she pictured. Rose seemed to forget that Lily hadn't agreed to go, but deep down, the eldest Osborne knew she didn't ave a choice.

"This is great! It'll give you a chance to see Bucky again," Gen winked, sipping her coffee. This was typically how the cycle of Gen's setups began, sort of. Lily would stumble across a guy that seemed interested in her, and Gen would stop at no end to get the two on a date. Of course, Lily never really seemed to have any interest in the guy that her best friend set her up with, but maybe this time was different. Maybe Bucky was different. And that's what Gen prayed about as well, "Maybe get to know him a little more. You get chatty when you're tipsy."

Lily Osborne drunk was a sight to see. All of the fear and anxiety she felt seemed to melt away with the ice cubes in her cup. That's why it was called liquid courage. One of the main signs of Lily being intoxicated was her desire to sing. for years, Lily sang in the choir, but always turned down solos, despite being one of the most talented singers that her school had ever seen. She was terrified that people would laugh at her, but if she was home alone, she sang like an angel. Her voice was soft and supple, and her ability to harmonize was unrivalled. Both Gen and Rose secretly hoped that the avengers would be able to be blessed with the sound of Lily's voice because it truly was as angelic as she was.

"I don't know if I even want to go. You know I don't do parties, let alone one hosted by the king of parties himself, Tony Stark." Lily sighed, twisting the straw in her lemonade around as she nibbled on her bottom lip. Her eyes glanced up to see Rose beaming out the window of the cafe, saying something to a designer or somebody on her phone. She looked so excited, and Lily didn't want to be the one to take that away.

Not after the past few weeks, Rose has had.

"C'mon, Lil," Gen sighed as if reading her best friend’s mind. the brunette reached her hands out and cupped Lily's frail and nimble ones, a soft and gentle look on her face, "Rose is excited. For the first time in weeks. Plus, nothing will happen. I'll be there, and so will Rose. Plus, I doubt Mr. Winter Soldier would ever let anything happen to you anyways. Buddies totally whipped."

"Mr. Winter Soldier? really?"

-----

After Scott had scooped Hunter up from the cafe, Lily stole the two adult women away from whatever they were doing, leading them to the car. But, Lily apparently wasn't allowed to drive. It was around two now, and Lily had to get back home to take joey out on his afternoon walk. But no matter the protests she gave, the younger sister was the one behind the wheel and had control over where they went either way. Lily accepted her fate and leaned back in her seat, attempting to figure out where Rose was have taking them.

Recognizing upstate new york, Lily glanced over towards the blonde that sat next to her. The young mom had figured out exactly what Rose was planning in that mischievous head of hers. One thing with all Osborne’s is their ability to not only think on their feet but figure out what was happening around them without anyone telling them. the art of deduction, in a way. But not that advanced, just piecing together their surroundings and doing the math. And with where they were, Lily knew that Rose had the genius idea to take the two other girls to a hair salon to get all nice and done up.

"Yeah no, I can do my hair," Lily stated, crossing her arms over her chest and putting her foot down. No way in hell was she letting another person that she didn't know, do her hair. She had a perfectly good hairdresser down in the suburbs of Manhattan and was fine with just going there for when she needed a haircut. And today? She did not.

"Let me check again...Gen?" Rose swivelled in her seat to look at the back where Gen sat, attempting to hold back a laugh, "Which one of us is the doctor and which one is the stylist?"

This caused Gen to let her giggles escape as she rested her velvety hand on Lily's shoulder, leaning forward towards her best friend, "Rose makes a fair point. You specialize in children's health, she specializes in adult fashion. C'mon, it'll be fun."

Once again, despite her protests, Lily was overpowered and dragged into the salon. The moment she was asked what style she was looking for, she answered, beating out her younger sister in deciding what would look best. She requested a simple hairstyle, possibly a ponytail of sorts. The hairdresser nodded along and got to work. Luckily, no hair was cut off or changed, and it was a simple styling appointment for her and the other girls.

Half an hour later, the three were back in the car, this time, with Lily behind the wheel. The three sang along to the radio as they returned to lower Manhattan, where the suburbs laid. Lily had managed to convince Rose to do her makeup instead of a hire professional, claiming Rose had the same talents as they did. It was true, Rose was a wizard with a makeup brush. Plus, it was fun to see her sister so focused on something like this. All of the pain of the past few weeks forgotten as she created a beige smokey eye on Lily, an a darker version of the same thing on Gen.

After she glanced in the mirror, Lily didn't believe it was her. She looked matured and awake, instead of the typical baby-faced ball of stress she was on a day-to-day basis. She stared into the mirror with a shocked yet elated look on her face, enjoying the feeling of confidence that rushed through her. She was Lily Osborne, full-time doctor and mother, older sister to two siblings, and a survivor of a toxic relationship. But it seemed that all of that confidence shattered when Rose pulled in a rack of dresses for Lily to try on. All tight around the hips and bust, made for girls with hourglass figures who hadn't given birth to a baby. Something that Lily wouldn't be caught dead in.

"Not happening. I refuse."

-----

Compromise. that's the lesson of this section. Taking other’s options or opinions and your own, and finding a common ground. That was the foundation of Rose and Lily's relationship. Learning to compromise with each other to keep the peace. And that was the result of their dispute of the dresses Rose had brought in. Most of them were sleek and tight, almost like a second skin. And as pretty as Lily felt all done up, she didn't have near enough confidence to rock one of the body-con dresses her sister had brought.

In the end, she decided on something a bit more classic and Lily-like. A lake blue dress with spaghetti straps holding it up. It had silver lace decals spread all across both the lower plunging neckline and a-line tulle skirt that hit just below Lily's mid thigh. A piece of mesh fabric kept the cleavage that Lily had tucked in, instead of placing it on display like the majority of the cocktail dresses Rose had brought in. The deeper blue helped extenuate the green of Lily's eyes, which was complemented by the light golden shimmer that laid atop of her eyelid. Her lips were a pink nude with a touch of gloss to create a shiny effect, and her hair was pulled into a pony connected by two criss-cross pieces of hair, with two strands falling forward to frame her face. One word to sum it all up, breathtaking. Lily radiated in her outfit, and anyone who saw her would have no choice but to agree. And if they didn't? They were either delusional or lying to themselves because she was stunning.

Rose, on the other hand, was embracing the small window of time she had left without showing the baby bump. She adorned a burgundy lace dress that hugged her curves like a glove and came to a halter top point around her neck. Her golden blonde hair laid across her shoulders in a curly river, with deep red lips to compliment the dress. Her eyes were done a bit darker than both Lily and Gen's, making her forest green eyes stand out as well. Rose and Lily were blessed with the looks of their mother. High cheekbones, plump lips and a perfectly sculpted nose that tends to make most jealous. Although Rose knew her worth and understood her beauty, Lily had a harder time coming to terms with it due to the anxiety that plagued her mind. It created a constant reminder that she just wasn't enough, and to try harder.

Gen stayed true to her out-of-the-box aesthetic and wore a suit jacket dress that reached her mid-thigh, with a pair of bright yellow pumps to create a splash of colour in her outfit. Her braids were pulled into a high ponytail, and a darker smokey eye created a glowing ring around the amber eyes that she was blessed with. Her plush and plump lips were painted a deep maroon, and she looked like a businesswoman who had men falling at her feet. When in reality, she was the most easy-going and relaxed person you would probably ever meet, and would rather die than ever be stuck behind a desk at a corporate job.

The three ladies corralled themselves into Lily's car and began their journey towards the avengers compound a bit before the event started. Rose had instructed Lily to leave at a time that would make them fashionably late, to keep Thor guessing whether or not his invitation was accepted or not. Plus it built up the suspicion of the others around the man. Somehow Rose knew all of this, and Lily guessed it was because of her extensive work in the fashion industry. Having to tell people what will make them look their absolute best. Both fashionably, and socially. And who was Lily to argue?

When they did arrive, Lily let out a shaky breath before turning off the car. There was no turning back now. They had drove all of this way, and Lily knew Rose and Gen would be pissed if she chickened out now. Plus, she doubted that they would even let her. Honestly, the two would drag her in by her toes if they had to. Out of Lily's best interest of course. They wanted her to move on and live her life outside of work and Hunter.

"Come on Lil, let's go get the tinman to fall in love with you."

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themangledsans0508 · 4 years

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Sleepover Surprises

Tweek approached the pale green house cautiously, clinging the straps of his bags tightly. He didn’t know why he agreed to this, he could be doing anything else tonight. Instead, he was sleeping over at Wendy Testaburger’s house, most likely to be pressed about the details of his relationship. At least it wouldn’t be just the two of them, the New Kid (who’s name he still didn’t know) would also be there.

He liked Wendy well enough, along with Douche-bag, he just got rather stressed when it came to sleepovers, and Wendy could convince anyone to divulge their deepest secrets. Douche-bag, on the other hand, preferred to keep to himself, nobody really knew anything about him, but Wendy trusted the two of them to let them sleepover at her house.

He knocked on the door, hoping that no one would answer and he could just go home, or maybe go to Craig’s house. Alas, no such thing happened, and a tall man answered the door.

“Yes?” He recognized the man as Wendy’s father, confirming he was at the right house.

“Wendy invited me over for a sleepover,” he said, twitching slightly.

“She’s upstairs in her room with some other kid.” He motioned him inside. Tweek looked around the house as he made his way up the stairs. He heard laughter and muffled talking and followed it to Wendy’s room. He knocked first to be polite and not walk in on something he didn’t want to see.

“Come in!” Wendy called. Tweek slowly opened the door and inspected the room.

The room was a soft pink, with a yellow rim around the bottom that looked like clouds. There were flower and animal decals all around, and a few posters. The floor had a teal circle rug with a red bean bag chair and an orange lounge chair. There was also a pink desk and the bed had purple blankets on it.

Wendy and Douche-bag sat on the floor, nail polish spread out between them. There were lots of different shades of pink and purple on display, along with other colors that had not been taken out of the basket yet. Wendy’s nails were painted rose pink, and the pair was currently applying lilac polish to Douche-bag's nails.

“Hey, Tweek! Come sit down! We don’t have to paint your nails, but Willow doesn’t have any nail polish at home so we’re doing them now!”

“Willow? That’s your name?” Tweek asked and Willow nodded. “That’s a pretty weird name for a boy.” Wendy scanned him.

“She’s not a boy, Tweek,” she informed him. Tweek blinked a few times.

“Why didn’t you tell us, dude?” Willow shifted uncomfortably. There were some soft words exchanged between Wendy and Willow before she spoke.

“I’ve lost friends because of it. Before I moved here to South Park. Here, I got jumped by rednecks,” she said quietly.

“That’s one of the reasons I asked you two to a sleepover. Besides just wanting to hang out, because we have to hang out before you can call me ‘girlfriend’ Tweek, you don��t have those privileges yet. But, you’re both LGBT.” Tweek nodded. He’d heard that acronym before, specifically with Mr Mackey and PC Principal. Neither had really explained what it meant, however.

“I’ve heard that before. What does it mean?” Tweek questioned. Wendy looked at him in surprise.

“You’re not really in the gay community much online, are you? And nobody told you either, Jesus. It’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. There’s also a plus, which incorporates the rest of the community. Since we now have two fully out kids and one partially out, plus at least five I can name who are in the closet, plus myself, I think we should have a pride alliance at our school.”

“What’s a pride alliance?”

“A group for LGBT people so they can support each other, participate in activism, and educate people. Because you guys know that a lot of kids in our school, even LGBT kids, make homophobic and trans-phobic jokes or just know nothing about any of it. Tweek, for a lot of kids, you and Craig were the first gay people they’ve ever met. With Mr Garrison gone, Big Gay Al and Mr Slave keeping to themselves, and Ned and Jimbo running a gun shop and just seeming like your average rednecks. Willow, you’re the first transgender person almost everyone in town has met. We need to raise awareness. Willow, you’ve already told me about some things people have said to and about you.”

Tweek looked at Willow, who was looking away from the group and carefully pulling at the rug so she didn’t ruin her nails. She looked embarrassed like she was ashamed that she had been harassed.

“What was said to you?” Tweek asked gently.

“You know, like, people called me a tranny, called me a ‘thing’, and said I’m not a real girl because I have a dick. Stuff like that, it’s fine,” she said quietly. Tweek would have never guessed that someone who faced a literal eldritch monster could be so shy.

“It’s not fine, sis. These things aren’t okay. I know some of these people might be your friends, but it’s still not okay.” Wendy placed a hand on her shoulder in a reassuring gesture with a soft smile on her face.

“Tweek, you and I have heard lots of bad things about gay people in our school. A lot from Cartman, but a lot from other people too.” Tweek nodded, he’d heard a lot of things. Probably the only reason nobody went after him was that he was dating Craig Tucker and that they both had gotten into fights and could hold their own. Plus, Craig was a respected person in their school as someone who didn’t take shit.

“Okay, so I think we need a pride alliance, do you guys agree?” Wendy looked to them for a genuine response. Both Willow and Tweek nodded.

“Great! With that out of the way, now we can really just hang out!” Wendy waved her hands excitedly.

“Tweek, do you want your nails painted?” Wendy asked. Tweek hesitated. He wanted to try it again as himself and not a metro-sexual, but he didn’t want to break the barrier that kept him safe from ridicule.

He decided fuck it if anyone wanted to cause trouble him or Craig could deal with it.

“Sure, why not!” Tweek grinned. Maybe it would help him stop picking at his nails. Wendy started filing through her containers of polish. She and Willow exchanged words that Tweek couldn’t hear due in part to the clinking of glass. Willow looked him over and whispered to Wendy. Wendy paused for a moment and looked up at Tweek.

“We can do any color you want, but we recommend green or blue. Green compliments your usual outfit, while blue highlights your eyes,” Wendy suggested.

Tweek debated the options. He’d rather not do a different color since he didn’t really know much about fashion and things going together, he wanted to understand it first. Green was his favorite color, but blue was Craig’s favorite color. He decided green, he’d do blue next time.

“Green,” he said. Tweek watched Wendy take out different shades of green and Willow inspect them. After about ten rejected shades, Willow showed one to Wendy. Wendy nodded and turned to Tweek.

“What do you think about this shade? It’s pastel.” Tweek looked at the color. It was only a bit darker than some of the other shades and he didn’t know how they had decided on this specific one.

“Whatever you guys think, you’re the experts,” he shrugged.

“Well then give me your hand, I’m steadier than Willow since she’s new.” Wendy held his wrist tightly so he wouldn’t twitch and mess up her work while Willow watched.

“You said Willow’s new, well how long have you been painting nails, Willow?” he asked. She counted on her fingers.

“About two weeks, since I only started after we stopped playing with that damned stick. And that’s also when my dad let me start using it.” Tweek recognized her tone of voice. It was the same one he used when he talked to Craig about his parents, one of sadness and bitterness. He wanted to show he understood where she was coming from.

“The only reason my parents accepted me was that it would be good for their business, not because I was their son,” Tweek said bitterly.

“Guys, I hate to break it to you, but your parents are terrible,” Wendy interrupted. Tweek looked at Wendy with a scowl that wasn’t directed at her.

“You have no idea,” he muttered.

Willow didn’t say anything, instead, she checked her nails to make sure she hadn’t accidentally smudged the lilac. He noticed Wendy debating something in her head and wondered if he should ask her about it. However, Wendy focused on Tweek’s nails again and he figured she had decided not to say anything.

“Wendy,” Tweek said, “that wasn’t the only real reason you invited us here, right?” Wendy shook her head.

“No, I wanted to hang out, and-” she got a mischievous grin on her face, “ask how your boyfriend is.” Tweek laughed.

“I thought that was a reason.”

“Can you blame her? I had to get you two back together.” Willow said.

“There’s that voice of yours!” Wendy wrapped her arm around Willow’s shoulder and squeezed.

“Well, I really love your relationship, it’s healthy and it’s a good example of how to support your partner through difficult moments. Like Tweek, I don’t know if you’re open about it but I can tell you have anxiety. And as far as I’ve seen, fighting alongside you two in battle and risking our lives together, Craig really does his best to help you stay grounded,” Willow explained, “Also, I want to try and get more comfortable around you, I think you’re a friend of mine.”

“Aww, Willow, you want to be closer friends with Tweek? I’m glad I planned this sleepover,” Wendy grinned.

“I mean, everything you said is true as long as he doesn’t start being a jerk. Sometimes he gets moody, but we’re working on that. We have a long time to work everything out,” Tweek disclosed. Wendy nodded.

“Yeah, that makes sense. He might be hot but he also is a dick, to like, everyone but you,” Wendy said. Willow nodded in agreement.

“Wait, that’s my boyfriend! He’s hot but he’s mine. Back off, girlfriend,” Tweek joked. Willow laughed.

“It’s true though, both parts. He is pretty attractive but he seemed to at best tolerate his friends, or downright insult them. He treated me and Jimmy the same and made fun of Clyde constantly. But for you, he makes almost every exception. He’s welcome to touch, sweet words, and emotions. From what I’ve heard, he didn’t even feel emotions. However when I went to get help him and when I gave him the couple’s counselling slip, he actually showed something,” Willow explained. Tweek fidgeted with his hair using his free hand, which had yet to be painted.

“I mean, he does help me get a hold of myself pretty often but sometimes he makes it worse but it’s not like he’s trying, it just happens,” Tweek explained, “Wendy, do you remember when President Garrison made all those tweets about me being this person I’m not and making North Korea hate me?” It took Wendy a few moments of visible confusion to process what he had said.

“That week with the distracted driving and suicide awareness things going on?” she clarified.

“Yeah, but Craig tried to help me by explaining away my feelings, and we got in a fight. It made me so stressed I skipped school, and I felt terrible until he came home after school and-”

“Wait, did you say came home? Like you two live together? That’s so cute!” Wendy said excitedly. Tweek quickly waved his hands like he could dismiss the words.

“No! No, okay, maybe we basically live together, I go to his house all the time because it’s nice there and he comes over to calm me down or help me but we don’t live together!” Tweek rambled, “I’m going to finish my story. So, he came to my house, and he didn’t try to reason away any of my feelings he just listened. It was nice.”

“That’s what a healthy couple would do,” Willow stated.

“They are a healthy couple,” Wendy retorted half-jokingly.

“I know, healthier than half the married couples I’ve seen here.”

“Yeah, and I never got thanked for showing the school Yaoi art, which got you a boyfriend Tweek.” He felt the tips of his ears heat up. Yeah, that’s how they started fake-dating, and then real dating, but it was also incredibly embarrassing for art of him and Craig to be all over the town.

“That was so embarrassing, it forced me to come out! Craig didn’t even acknowledge how he felt back then, he just decided to ignore it because he felt like he’d be rejected by his friends and family and then he was basically forced into a relationship with me and his dad didn’t accept him at first and our relationship was fake at first and-” Tweek started spilling everything out, his breathing becoming irregular as he talked. His fingers tangled in his hair and he tugged lightly before someone else pulled his hand away from his hair and put it on the ground.

“Tweek, it’s okay. Take deep breaths,” Willow guided. Wendy squeezed his palm on the hand she was about finished with the paint on. He focused on their touch and slowly calmed down.

“Thank you,” he eventually managed to whisper.

“You’re welcome. I understand it’s okay,” Willow assured.

“How did you know how to help me?” he asked.

“Before I got prescribed medications, that’s how my best friend would calm me down.”

“You know, it kind of sucks that touch helps me calm down,” Tweek admitted, “Craig isn’t with me twenty-four seven, and most guys aren’t really into touching. They think it’s gay, it’s just not something they do.”

“That’s one thing us girls have over guys. We’re always touching each other because it’s not gay, it’s how we show we love each other. Tweek, as head of the council of girls, I welcome you to be treated as we treat each other. That means comfort touches,” Wendy declared. Tweek blinked a few times.

“There’s a council of girls?”

“Of course, we’re organised, unlike most of the boys. Sisterhood is no joke,” Wendy said.

“Okay, that makes sense. But you’re the head of them?”

“Yes, Willow is my aid because some of the girls are still sceptical of her, which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s as much a girl as any other member of the council,” Wendy mumbled bitterly. She then let Tweek’s hand go and took his other one. “Don’t fiddle with anything, it’ll ruin the polish. You can move it as soon as I’m done this one. Don’t listen to me and I’ll duct tape your hand so you can’t move it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Willow, we’ll do your makeup after we’re done Tweek’s nails.”

Tweek often had trouble sleeping, in fact, he rarely slept more than an hour at a time. He could only sleep with Craig with him. He was left just staring at the wall, looking at every little detail that the beam on moonlight highlighted. The sound of partying, cars, and the quiet breathing in the room were all he heard.

He turned to face the bed so he could look out the window and found his view partially blocked by a body. Willow was sitting up, staring out the window herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest. The soft glow of the moon reflected off jer face and highlighted some silent tears that were rolling down her cheek.

“Willow?” he asked quietly. She turned to face him and immediately wiped her eyes.

“Tweek. I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.

“I don’t sleep.”

“Oh.” She slid out of the bed to sit on the floor, looking back to make sure that she hadn’t woken Wendy up. “Maybe you shouldn’t drink all that coffee.”

“No.”

They sat awkwardly, wanting to speak and try to connect to each other and show their understanding of each other. Tweek decided to take the initiative.

“I understand how you feel. About your parents, I mean,” Tweek said.

“No, you don’t,” she spat, “but I appreciate it. Our families are different. You haven’t seen mine. I haven’t seen yours. But I think you’re right. Our families are terrible.” Tweek was taken aback by the venom in her voice. It wasn’t directed at him, but directed at the world.

“I want to understand how people treat you because I think we could be good friends. I just don’t want to say anything wrong. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I understand what it’s like being trans.”

“You’re smart and kind. We’ll talk about it sometime. We are similar, aren’t we.” Tweek grinned slightly

“Yeah, we are.” Willow silently got up and walked towards Tweek, pulling him into a hug. “You’re a good person, Tweek. Craig is lucky to have you. Stay you, no matter what. Stay you.” She got up and returned to the bed, slipping back under the covers.

Tweek turned back to face the wall. Maybe it would be nice to have another friend, someone to go to when Craig was unavailable or to just hang out with.

The sleepover wasn’t terrible in the end.

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thelearningcat · 5 years

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I just rewatched the Ugly Truth and I feel like I need a bath.

I will preface this by saying, I watched this when it came out and enjoyed it. I didn’t think it was an amazing romance, but I enjoyed it for the romantic trash I often enjoyed.

Rewatching it, post-women studies, post-academia, post-growing up and experiencing real relationships, it’s disgusting on so many fronts.

All the critiques it appears to almost try to criticize, it instead holds up and applauds.

We have this strong, capable, good at her job, smart woman who is a producer despite being a woman and somewhat young being completely undermined at every term by the men above her at her job and the man she’s supposed to be in charge of. This is nothing to say with the constant sexual harassment, degradation of women, and overall sexist message it constantly purports.

Hell, Hitch somehow manages a better message than the Ugly Truth. Hitch at least had it turn out that the woman they were trying to lie to liked the guy who was lying better for all the things that were 100% him rather. The Ugly Truth quite literally proved the misogynist right and then rewarded him with our protagonist.

Maybe this doesn’t come to a surprise to anyone else. I haven’t watched this film probably since 2012 or so, so it has been a hot second. I’m almost scared now to watch The Proposal, because that was a movie that came out the same year that I also liked.

How in the hell two women could have written this movie is beyond me. At every second it felt terrible and degrading.

I watch a lot of romantic trash that had terrible messages to women, but they usually at least have some redeeming qualities or empowered women. Not the Ugly Truth. There is literally nothing. No moment in this movie qualifies as redeeming. The love interest learns no lesson to be nicer, the woman isn’t given power over her career, the third wheel love interest doesn’t turn out to be a nice guy, there are no kind and supportive friends, and there are no funny moments that don’t involve the humiliation of the female protagonist I’m supposed to be rooting for.

To end my rant, let me propose how to fix this travesty, if only because it’ll make me feel better to imagine how I would write it better:

Abby takes control of her job and shows she knows better than the assholes who are always just ignoring her clear brilliance and ability to think on her feet. This has to happen for me to feel vindicated for what she has to go through with producing the Ugly Truth. There are three ways I see this going. Option 1: she quits in the end. Instead of Mike quitting or in lieu of him quitting and being told she has to find his replacement, Abby quits instead, declaring she deserves a workplace that values her talent. We are given one reason she stays at a small local network, but it’s not a good enough reason to prevent her from really going somewhere in my opinion, especially not at least to a different network than the trash place she works at. Option 2: there are massive protests against the Ugly Truth, and Abby leads the charge to instead turn the network around to be a feminist dream workplace. I do not buy for a second that 98% of women would like the Ugly Truth. Sure maybe the white women who voted for Trump would like watching it because they’ve been brainwashed to think toxic masculinity is chill, but the rest of us, and even a lot of those women, would disgusted either by the sexism or the non-Christian discussions. Ideally, the networks higher ups would be fired and Abby would be given the reigns to turn it around. Option 3: She turns the Ugly Truth around. By sheer brilliance. She brings in feminist women and men who could counter and argue against Mike’s Ugly Truth. She brings in academics who can show scientifically that Mike’s perspective is wrong. The Ugly Truth turns into a show breaking down the ugly truth about toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. This one is probably my favorite since it lends itself to really enabling Mike to be a better person so he can be a love interest. This is a romantic comedy (or its supposed to be at least), so I’m fine with some acceptance of a love interest.

We need to overhaul these fucking asshole love interests. Mike and Colin are both absolutely terrible and Abby’s interaction with them give me no reason she would fall for either or them or that they would fall for her. Let’s start with Colin though, since he’s clearly just the trope “boyfriend who causes conflict by existing”. There is nothing special about him. He’s rich and handsome, the protagonist spends most of the movie thinking he’s the one, he turns out to be a dick, and his being somewhere and the real love interest seeing him makes the real love interest go running. I hate this trope. I much prefer the newer(?), less common trope that I’ve seen in some movies where the established love interest is legit nice and things just don’t work out between him and the protagonist for some reason. I want a Colin who says yes when Abby asks him out. I want a Colin who is clearly turned off (to the audience) whenever Abby tries one of Mike’s ploys, but is too nice to just turn her down for them (because he likes her otherwise). I want a Colin who in the end says they should break up because while Abby is great, because she clearly won’t be honest with him. Or that Abby breaks up with saying that she has feelings for someone else and Colin is just like, cool, let’s be friends, I still like your cat a lot. And we get to see them hanging out on double dates in the end scenes. Mike... Mike is just terrible and there’s no way he can ever get the girl without major changes. In fact, if I just got description of them both, I would assume this was a secret “nice man right in front of you when you are chasing after the asshole trope” wherein Abby gets Colin instead. It would be a nice surprise. However, Mike has some interest character elements that lend itself to a potentially fascinating love interest. First off, let’s get out of the way, he has to learn, or admit, that the Ugly Truth bullshit is just that, bullshit. Otherwise, he can stay in the dumpster he lives in. However, putting that aside, there are some questions would might lend to a much more interesting love interest. His relationship with his nephew is one of them. He clearly is super potentially cute to his nephew and sister. He teaches his nephew terrible things, which is unfortunate, but if we fix that? Let’s say instead of Abby hearing him say that it’s awesome girls are already going to him [the nephew], we instead hear him saying that empowered women are the best and sexiest. Earlier in the movie instead of hearing him say that he should be insulting 20 year olds, we hear him say that he should never insult women, they get that enough from assholes who follow his show. If we have it clearly established that he doesn’t believe the things he says through the lessons he gives his nephew, we would have an easy way to show the dissonance while still seeing the cute uncle-nephew relationship. This also brings up the potential for why he got started on the Ugly Truth. We get a vague comment once (that’s never answered mind you) about how he got hurt before, but that’s bullshit and a cop-out. I instead want it to have started out as a satire, or maybe he was really hurt from a break up- OR he was really angry when his sister’s baby-daddy left her so he went on youtube and ranted about “The Ugly Truth” about love. Basically, we just need some backstory to believe he stumbled on this character, whether because he was telling the truth for a moment or trying to make a joke, but now he’s earning money doing this and he doesn’t really know how to get out. Maybe he never got a degree because he helped his sister earn money (seriously, it’s so easy to milk this relationship he has with his family) or maybe he got one but its in something that doesn’t make money like art and he doesn’t know how to transition from acting to that. Now he’s stuck, and maybe he’s tired of people assuming he’s the character he plays so he stops disputing them. Maybe he’s knowingly using his male privilege because he knows this character gets along with the creeps who run networks. Maybe he’s just bitter in general and has a hard time turning it off anymore. On the other hand, I would also accept swapping out a lesbian for Mike and have Abby turn out to be bisexual. The lesbian could say all sorts of bullshit to get on TV and it’d make sense considering what men in charge of entertainment expect women to do to get their airtime.

At least one supportive friend to the protagonist. We get Joy, her friend/employee? But Joy almost just acts to support the idea that somehow women are okay with Mike. Besides getting Abby dates, we see no reason to suspect she’s actually a friend to Abby. Maybe they are trying to say Abby doesn’t have any friends because she put her career over all else, but I find that really hard to swallow. I spend the majority of my time on work and me-time recuperating from working, but I still have friends that I see semi-regularly and a significant other I spend a lot of time with.

We need there to be a legit sexual harassment claim filed at this workplace and people to get fired. That’s all.

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grieg · 7 years

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The Artist, The Pessimist, And The Peach.

(it’s gay, read for the gay)

Mo really hadn’t been listening. She was tired of Hamilton. So, so tired “No, see, cause if Burr -” “Ok, Charlie, as much as I respect your views and your music taste, I couldn’t give an actual living shit about Hamilton, I just really don’t care that much.” Charlie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed in mock aggravation. “Well, if you can’t try to understand me,” She turned away from her friend and dramatically covered her eyes with the back of her hand. I'll have to elope with my giant Hamilton book, leaving my family to drown in their miserable Hamilton-less lives .” “Fine by me, just tell your dad I’m not paying for a divorce.” Mo aimed her voice louder to the back of the school bus at Tim, the resident ‘father’. “Um, sweaty, check your privileges. You’re not the one who’s having to debt his way through high school. I can’t fucking pay for a Friends boxed set, let alone a lawyer,” called the response. Charlie broke into giggles at that and Mo joined her shortly. “Ugh, why can’t you just try to like it,” Charlie pouted and ran her hand through her short blonde hair. “Charl, I’ve tried so many times. Like, you won’t let me spend a second not trying.” Mo turned to face the window, watching the buckets of rain speed down the glass. “Alrighty then,” Charlie rolled her eyes “just trying to save your Hamilton deprived, fall out boy infested soul." and Mo flipped her off and grinned. "I’m next stop, anything you want to tell me before I depart?” Charlie stood as the bus approached her street. “Only that I despise you, I hope you get really wet in the rain and get the plague and die, and I inherit all your snapbacks,” Mo replied. Charlie jostled her way to the doors and jumped off the bus before the stairs had even began to lower. “Love you too mom! Also you can’t get plague from hypothermia!” She heard the shout before the doors closed and the bus shuddered back into motion. Tim staggered up to the now emptied seat next to her and plopped himself down, arm snaking around her shoulders. “How are you Mojoba my moba joba?” Mo gently lifted his arm over her head and placed it back in his lap. “You know me, terrific as usual. Also please don’t call me that ” “Hah. Yes, of course you are,” He batted back her sarcasm. “How are you Timothy Pearl? How is your day going? What did you do to survive today?” “Oh I’m just gay thank you. I’ve had two power bars, a can of Harvey’s extra spicy root beer, an orange, and three five-foot-long fruit roll ups so I’ve had a fabulous dining experience to boost my spirits.” “Ok, chill.” Mo turned back to stare at the rain again and a comfortable silence settled between them. The bus bumped along mid pace and a quiet trickle of conversation flowed around them from the few passengers left. “You shouldn’t be so hard on her all the time you know.” She jumped slightly at the sudden start of conversation and could feel him looking at her but she didn’t turn. “It’s easy. I hate her.” She shrugged. “No you don’t.” Tim pat her leg affectionately and Mo felt him trying to accentuate the feeling in the statement. “Yes, obviously I don’t. Why the hell would I hang out with her if I did?” “I don’t know, Mo, maybe cause she’s literally your only friend besides the freak sitting next to you. Or maybe cause she just so happens to be the hottest girl in school and simultaneously the biggest lesbian known to mankind. Maybe because you, my darling, have a whopping crush on her?” “No, stop it Tim- she’s my best friend, give me a break.” “Fine, fine, Just don’t come running to me when you suddenly realize I’m always right about everything.” Mo wrinkled her nose and flipped him off, going back to stare out the window. … It hadn’t even been two months and Mo and Charlie were probably the closest friends in school. Freshman year, neither of the girls had been very socially active, spending most of their time stressing and working. Now that they had fallen into the groove of high school and vaguely knew what the hell they were doing, they had both had the opportunity to actually speak to those around them. Tim had known Charlie vaguely from history and Mo from English, but none of them had been especially close. Coincidently, all their lockers were in the same hall and one day after class on the fifth day, Tim had plucked up the courage to approach the both of them and ask whether they wanted to go long-boarding with him on the weekend. After some hesitation, they both answered yes. Now, six months and near hundreds of trips to the skate park later, they couldn’t get enough of each other. Turning right and walking down the six blocks to the skate park after school was now as much of a habit for the three of them as hitting shuffle on the complete Panic! At The Disco Album was to Mo.

…

“Mo, would you be a dear and tell me how this looks?” Mo felt Charlie tap her shoulder and she stepped over to Charlie’s canvas, examining the historic scene taking place on its surface. Mo squinted and stepped back, striking a pose of exaggerated consideration. “well, I mean, like Shit.” She stepped back to her canvas. “Ugh, I need a real answer, please be serious with me here.” Charlie slouched. “Fine. It’s really good and I hate how good it is and it hurts. Satisfied?” Mo said quietly, focusing on painting. Charlie grinned at her devilishly and walked over to Mo’s canvas, watching her movements intently from behind her back. Mo suddenly became very aware how close they were standing and stepped forward, increasing the distance. (Physical contact was something she found should be avoided at most costs) But Charlie stepped forward again and took the brush out of her hand. “No, no. Try it, um…here. Can I?” Mo nodded and stepped away. Charlie mixed some fresh paint and the began deftly working her way over the area that Mo had been painting, moulding what had been messy blobs into somewhat recognizable forms.

There was sample photograph of the Waterloo battle painting they were copying in corner of the room, and the students were circled around it, all struggling to paint the tiny detailed forms of soldiers. Except Charlie. Her’s was the best. Obviously. Mo thought that maybe somehow she had lied about her age and was actually a thirty-year old successful artist who had studied in some famous art school in Tuscany.

“Better?” Charlie asked. “Um, maybe just paint this bit for me real quick? Also this bit right here and this one also the whole thing?” Mo gesticulated at the canvas, trying to display her despair to receive some form of pity from her friend. “Charlie, stop doing Mo’s painting for her please,” the teacher called from her desk at the front. “Yes ma'am. Ok, look at the light source, try and focus on where the reflections are-” Mo lost track of what Charlie was trying to say and instead began watching her hands as they flapped about, weaving around in her wild way. She seemed to be doing that an awful lot lately, watching Charlie’s hands. It was hard not to. She seemed to communicate more from her hands then she did her mouth. Her physical displays of enthusiasm were contagious and every once and awhile Mo would catch herself moving her hands in an unmistakably Charlie kind of way. She still couldn’t decide if it was a good or a bad thing and was very conscious about not doing it around Charlie.

“See? Wait, Mo are you even listening?” Mo felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and was shaken out of her daydreaming. “Yeah, Yeah. Remember light source, keep shadow balance even. Got it.” Mo took back her paintbrush. “Okay…” Charlie have her a dubious look but went back to her canvas.

…

Mo had never considered herself an optimist. if anything she was the world’s most enthusiastically pessimistic pessimist. She hated watching people achieve their dreams because, as she constantly told her friends, she had none. She told them she would probably continue working in the record store two blocks from her house until her mid fifties when she would retire early to sell beaded curtains on Etsy to vegans in Utah with five kids a dog and a dark green Subaru. She would never marry because she would never feel the capacity for love. And anyways, her partner would probably amount to much more than she could ever be and she didn’t feel like coming home to someone who would talk about how much they had achieved in a day while she endlessly threaded endless amounts of wooden beads on endlessly long flimsy wires. She had never heard of the term realist until Tim had explained the concept and told her he labeled himself as one. He cared and examined every detail of life and although Mo did not like to admit it, she enjoyed listening to him talk about situations and things and people. But she still hated the beach and romcoms and music that wasn’t rock or punk or R&B. She didn’t like expressing her feelings no matter if they were expressed physically or verbally. She was, in short, the pessimist.

Charlie, one could say, was the optimist

…

How Charlie and Tim had thought that studying in the park on a hot Saturday during a festival was a good idea, Mo had no idea. Then again, she had agreed to do it and here they were.

“DUDE, That man literally looks like a pineapple!” Charlie was pointing and giggling hysterically at a man far across from them in the park with bright green spiky hair and a pale yellow suit. “Well, I’m not one to judge but he really does.” Tim tilted his head in mock sympathy. “Also, what is that couple doing? Are those grapes on their head?” He pointed over at another two people across the park with very curly purple hair. He and Charlie were both sprawled on their backs, Mo’s legs acting as a pillow for both their heads. “Guys, we’ve been here almost an hour and all we’ve done is comment on the fruit-like aspects of these people’s clothes. Also Tim, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but you’re literally wearing a giant strawberry sweater.” Mo cast a down judgmental stare. “Sad, but so, so true.” Tim stood and brushed himself off, ruffling Charlie’s hair and then slinging his rucksack over his shoulder. “You know, I think I’m gonna head home. If you need me I’ll be bathing in a pile of unfinished homework, popcorn and the light from the television of a Friends season three rerun.” Tim gave them a wave and jumped into a skip towards the exit to the park. “Bye, you egg!” Charlie called. “Bye, Tim. Don’t forget the Native American project is due Tuesday.”

“SHIT.” a distant call came from somewhere outside the park

Mo sighed and shut the textbook in front of her hopelessly. “Did you know he gave fifty dollars to Micheal McKinnon last year to do all of his projects?” “Explains a lot. Are you sure it was just for school projects?” She continued packing up her stuff. “MO! Jesus Christ.” Charlie sat up and frowned at her and Mo laughed maniacally.

“You’re really mean sometimes, you know that?” Charlie stood and began to pack as well. “Well, no one else is going to be. You and Tim are like walking Tumblr positivity blogs. sometimes I feel like I’m the only one with sense around here.” Mo picked up her bag and placed her longboard under her arm, turning around to head towards the exit. About to call back a goodbye, she was immediately arrested by a soft hand on her wrist. She turned to see Charlie stood just behind her looking at her with a mournful expression that made Mo’s heart skipped a beat. She may have been imagining it but she swore she saw the glassy sheen of tears over Charlie’s eyes. “Are you…do you, care? About us? Your friends? Do we…mean anything to you?” Charlie’s voice cracked slightly and Mo stood in shock by the sudden scene playing before her. “I… Charlie what are you doing, what’s wrong with you? ” “Mo, just answer the goddamn question.” Mo stepped back a bit “I, Yeah. You’re my friends. What do you want me to say Charlie? Yes. I do in fact have a capability to hold emotions. I do feel things.” “Well you never goddamn show it, Mo. I just…I can’t help but think you hang out with me and Tim out of necessity or, I don’t know, pity or some shit. I…just needed to get some kind of emotion out of you for once…something. I’m sorry.” She sighed shakily and dropped her hand to her waist, the soft warmth and comfort of her palm leaving a cold imprint in the shape of her hand on Mo’s arm. “I wish you showed us sometimes, you know? You do things for us, like invite us over and let us eat your food and copy your homework, but you never let us know what you’re thinking or what what you’re thinking about us. I’ve never felt anything but distance from you Maura. And I hate it. I hate never knowing if you’re okay. If we’re…okay.” Charlie stood there in silence for a what seemed like ten minutes but was probably a couple milliseconds, while Mo tried desperately tried to think of what to say, mind bouncing back and forth; up and down like a ping-pong ball hurled 80 miles an hour into the wall of a very small box. How do you respond to these situations? What do people ever want to hear? What can she possibly say to convince the beautiful girl standing inches away from her, tears pouring silently and willingly down her freckled cheeks, who just used her real first name (which Mo despised anyone using) and would probably be the only best friend she would ever have, that she had total and utter admiration and respect for her and was head over goddamn heels in love with her? What do you fucking say?

Well, for starters, she could just not say anything. Just leap into the sickening, swirling pool of utmost dread and fear and no-fucking-clue and lost friendships and soiled memories and-

Fuck it.

Mo dove. Hard. Her lips crashed fast and dead straight onto Charlies’, forcing Charlie to stagger back to avoid tripping and maybe breaking a few bones in the process. Mo grabbed Charlie’s shoulders and kissed her as if she had come to school to hear that they were taking the entire next semester dissecting the musical Hamilton, and her life would come to a grinding and shuddering stop. She kissed her as if Tim had told them that he had bought every single boxed set of Friends manufactured on earth and chained them to the couch to sequentially watch every single episode in every single boxed set until they died. Mo McCloud kissed Charlie Goodman as if every single second, every moment, every single memory that the two friends had shared, were the only things that had ever and would ever matter to Mo. Like she wanted to spend the rest of her life in her arms, listening to her voice, watching her hands, holding her face. Kissing her. As she kissed her and mused so deeply, she slowly became conscious that Charlie was kissing her back. It took Mo a moment to really remember that kissing way a two way street, and the other street was a raging block party.

it was gay. they were both thrilled. they got married n it was also gay. they got 3 dogs, all 10/10 good boys, and named them all tim, after their good friend who had died in the war of 2025. they bought a cabin by a lake and went fishing every other day. mo made fish pies that charlie ate out of pity and politeness. mo thought she would never have the capacity for love, what fool. most of the pies went to tim tim and tim. after many years of quiet, peaceful domesticity, charlie got mystery cancer. mo was shattered. after 4 years of fighting the mystery cancer, it spread to charlies lungs and killed her. she was buried next to the cabin, and was buried with one of the tims, who died of grief. mo wept at her grave every morning, and left a fish pie there every sunday. quite a few years later, mo died peacefully in her sleep, with the remaining tims by her side. she was buried next to charlie. the tims were taken in by a nice couple down the road. while their heirs searched their home, they found love letters from the two of them, sent while charlie was a medic in the war. they cried at their sincere adoration of each other, and the horrible pain mo must have felt during her final years without the love of her life. they placed violets on their graves. even in death, they were gay and together.

#lol #writing #gay #fiction #my writing :)#poetry #gay writing #story #book blog #book #books

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