#yes this is my tinfoil hat moment but i’m having fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Hello again! Im the tinfoil hat anon with the long ass asks and I finally had the time to read your response. Thank you, it makes my day reading your answers. I honestly just enjoyed them over a cup of coffee like a good book.

Now, the gun pointing scene I mentioned was in fact the one from the droid fight facility like the other anon suggested. But I really liked that you covered the boat scene too, I haven’t thought of it much myself and now I definitely have!

I also would like to mention I love your “candy bar” choice analogy and I 100% agree Hunter’s “invitation” to join back wasn’t welcoming in the slightest. It is very likely just an obligation as you said. Sort of “you gave us a chance, we owe you a chance too”.

And the problem with it is now I am struggling to figure out how the batch members might change their attitude toward Crosshair going forward, especially Hunter. As of right now Crosshair’s best relationship is not with his brothers but with Omega(as surprising as this is). And I think he does realize now she cared about him the most out of all of them during the short time they interacted(both 1st and last episodes). Even between themselves(not counting Omega) I find most of the bad batch members to be cold and distant to each other. They feel less like a family than Rebels for example. And they aren’t even a “found family”(a trope everyone loves) but an actual one! And I get that they’re soldiers and supposed to be tough, I don’t expect them to share all “the feels”. I just can’t put my finger on it but something feels off. I agree with your previous post, the show doesn’t do a very good job showing or even telling they love each other.

Will Hunter and co only start caring about their brother again only after he leaves the empire?(assuming he does at some point). What about Disney’s prevailing theme and message that “family always love and care for each other no matter what”? I guess it’s “family always love and care for each other but only if you’re good guys making right choices”. There is no room for mistakes or wrong decisions. In the last episode everyone form the batch seemed to have given up on Crosshair(besides Omega). For now their attitude seems to be just “you’re not our enemy” and that’s that.

I realize Crosshair is a “bad guy” and consciously made his choice(and we know it’s the wrong one) but to me it felt like he thought he didn’t even had a choice or rather became so lost and confused he actually thought he chose the empire as “the lesser evil”(as in the less shitty choice out of all the other bad ones). We as audience have the benefit to know exactly how atrocious the empire really is but maybe Crosshair still doesn’t realize that.

So what exactly must Crosshair do to get back “in their good graces” as you say? Start saving “the good guys”? Save the bad batch multiple times? There is a popular opinion on how Crosshair can redeem himself. That he eventually heroically sacrifices himself to save them. I personally REALLY hope it’s NOT what’s going to happen but I heard so many people speculating his story is set up to be redemption=death. I know you mentioned you don’t want “Vader style redemption” either. Personally I think it would be a waste of a character who has a lot of potential. And I just think that the batch kind of don’t really deserve his sacrifice(maybe save for Omega) after how they never tried to save him themselves and how they treated him overall. Maybe he will risk his life to save Omega at some point and that will “prove” to Hunter he cares? Although he has already shown he cares by saving her(even if in Crosshair’s own words it’s just so they��re “even”). And the thing is, he doesn’t need to prove that he loves them, he already did that in episode 15 and made it clear he does care. He actually went to extreme by shooting his squad to prove his loyalty. What were the moments the batch demonstrated they care about him? Hunter saying “you never were our enemy” and taking his unconscious body to safety? To me Hunter “not leaving him behind” during bombardment felt more like guilt about the last time it happened and an obligation to Crosshair for helping them with droids, rather than them showing care. And I kinda of think if that was any random civilian(or anyone other than an enemy or a threat) they would carry them out too just because that’s what good guys do and not because it’s their brother. You also mentioned that minutes later Hunter snaps at him with “if you want to stay here and die, that’s your choice” which I agree can be interpreted in different ways. And I think it’s one more point to it being an obligation that in Hunter’s eyes is fulfilled now. He corrected his mistake of leaving a brother behind and saved him this time, now his guilt won’t burden him any longer.

Anyway, I can’t wait for season 2 and I appreciate you and all the anons sharing the tinfoil hat, interacting and speculating together. Those discussions have been a lot of fun!

TLDR: How do your think the relationship between the brothers will mend or evolve in the next season? Do you think S2 will improve in portraying the batch more as a family rather than a group of mercs doing missions together? What are your thoughts on the popular idea of Crosshair’s redemption by ultimate sacrifice? As in, how likely do you think this scenario is?

Anon, that is just wonderfully hilarious to me. Ah yes, the sunrise, a good cup o' joe, and the overly long character analysis of a snarky, fictional sniper. Exactly what everyone needs in the morning! 😆

You know, TBB is far from the first show I've watched where there's an obvious, emotional conclusion the creator wants the audience to come to—the squad all love each other Very Much—yet that conclusion isn't always well supported by the text. It creates this horribly awkward situation where you're going, "Yes, I'm fully aware of what the show wanted to do, but this reading, arguably, did not end up in the story itself. So what are we talking about here? The intention, or the execution?" It's like Schrödinger's Bad Batch where the group is simultaneously Very Loving and Very Distant depending on how much meta-aspects are influencing your reading: those authorial intentions, understanding of how found family tropes should work, fluff focused fics/fan art that color our understanding of the characters, etc. And, of course, whether someone saw TCW before they watched TBB. I personally wouldn't go quite so far as to say they're "cold" towards one another—with Crosshair as an exception now—but there wasn't the level of bonding among the squad that I expected of a show called The Bad Batch. Especially compared to their arc in TCW. The other night I re-watched the season seven premiere and was struck not just by how much more the squad interacted with each other back then, but how those interactions added depth to their characters too. For example, Crosshair is the mean one, right? He's the one picking fights with the Regs? Well yeah... but it's also Wrecker. While they're trying to decide what to do with Cody injured, Jesse calls out Crosshair on his attitude—"You can't talk to Captain Rex like that!"—and Wrecker's immediate response is, "Says who?" and he hefts Jesse into the air. And then he just holds him there, clearly using his superior strength to do as he pleases, until Hunter (sounding pretty angry) tells him to put Jesse down. If Wrecker had put him into a more classically understood bullying position, like pinning him to the ground, it would probably read as less funny—less "Haha strong clone lifts Jesse up in the air!" and more "Oh shit, strong clone can do whatever the hell he wants to the Regs and few are able to stop him." It's such a quick moment, but it tells us a ton about Wrecker. That he's going to stick up for his brothers, no matter the context (Crosshair deserves to be called out). That he will gleefully assist Crosshair in bothering the Regs (something that is reinforced when he later throws the trays in the mess hall, after Hunter has already deescalated the situation). That he's likely been hurt by awful treatment from the Regs too. That he'll only listen to Hunter when it comes to backing off. Little of this work—that interplay among the squad that shows us new sides to them other than basic things like "Wrecker is the nice, happy brother"—exists in TBB.

Or, at least, little exists after Omega becomes an official member of the squad.

Because, as said previously, she becomes the focus. I don't mean that as a total criticism. As established, I love Omega. But if we're talking about why the squad can feel so distant from each other, I think she's the root cause, simply because the story became all about her relationships with the Batch, rather than the Batch's relationships with each other. Having dived headfirst into reading and writing fic, it occurred to me just how many of the bonding moments we love, the sort of stuff we'll see repeated in fics because we understand that this is where the story's emotional center is, are given to Omega in canon:

Someone is hurt and in need of comfort. Omega's emotional state is the focus + moments like her being worried over Hunter getting shot.

Someone needs to learn a new skill. Echo teaches Omega how to use her bow.

Someone reveals a skill they never knew they had before. Omega is a strategic genius and plays her last game with Hunter.

Someone is in serious danger and in need of rescue. Omega rescues the group from the slavers + is the most vocal about rescuing Hunter. (Which, again, is a pretty sharp contrast to the whole Crosshair situation.) Omega, in turn, needs rescuing from things like the decommission conveyor belt.

Similarly, someone is kidnapped and in need of rescue. Omega is kidnapped twice by bounty hunters and the Batch goes after her.

Someone saves another's life. Omega saves Crosshair from drowning.

Someone does something super sweet for another. Wrecker gives Omega her room. Omega gives Wrecker Lula.

A cute tradition is established between characters. Wrecker has his popcorn-esque candy sharing with Omega.

Someone hurts someone else and has to ask forgiveness. Wrecker is upset about nearly shooting Omega and they have that sweet moment together.

Note that most of these examples could have occurred between other Batch members, but didn't. Someone could have created a space for Echo on the ship too. Wrecker also could have apologized to Tech for choking him, etc. It's not that those moments shouldn't happen with Omega, just that there should be more of a balance across the whole season, especially for a show supposedly focused on the original squad. Additionally, it's not that cute bonding moments between the rest of the Batch don't exist. I love Hunter selling Echo off as a droid. I love Wrecker and Tech bickering while fixing the ship. I love the tug-of-war to save Wrecker from the sea monster. Yes, we do have moments... it's just that comparatively it feels pretty skewed in Omega's direction.

So, as a VERY long-winded way of answering your question, I think we need to fix the above in order to tackle Crosshair's redemption in season two. Now that we've had a full season focused on Omega, we need to strike a better balance among the rest of the squad moving forward. We need to re-established the "obvious" conclusion that the rest of the Batch loves Crosshair and that's done (in part) by establishing their love for one another too. To my mind, both goals go hand-in-hand, especially since you can develop their relationship with Crosshair and their relationships with each other simultaneously. Imagine if instead of just having Wrecker somewhat comically admit that he misses Crosshair (like he's dead and they can't go get him??), he and Tech had a serious conversation about why they can't get him back yet, despite very much wanting to. Imagine if Echo, the one who was rescued against all odds, got to scream at Hunter to go get Crosshair like Omega screamed at them to go back for Hunter. Imagine if we'd gotten more than a tiny arc in TCW to establish the Batch's dynamic with each other, providing a foundation for how they would each react to Crosshair's absence. Instead, what little we've got in TBB about Crosshair's relationship with his brothers is filtered through Omega: Omega's embarrassment that she knocked over Crosshair's case, Omega treating Crosshair's comm link like a toy, Omega's quest to save Hunter that just happened to involve Crosshair along the way.

Obviously, at this point we can't fix how the first season did things, but I think we can start patching over these issues in season two. It would be jarring—we'd still be 100% correct to ask where this "Brothers love you, support you, and will endlessly fight for you" theme was for Crosshair's entire time under the Empire's thumb... but I'd take an about-face into something better than not getting any improvement at all. It is frustrating though, especially for a show that I otherwise really, really enjoyed. For me, the issue isn't so much that the show made a mistake (since no show is perfect), but that the mistake is attached to such a foundational part of the franchise. Not just in terms of "SW is about hope and forgiveness" but the specific relationship most clones have with each other: a willingness to go above and beyond for their brothers. The focus on Omega aside, it's hard to believe in the family dynamic when one member of the family was so quickly and easily dismissed. I couldn't get invested in Hunter's rescue as much as I should have because rather than going, "Yes!! Save your brother!!!" my brain just kept going, "Lol where was this energy for Crosshair?" It messes with your reading of the whole story, so in order to fix that mistake going forward, we need to start seeing the bonds that only sometimes exist in season one. Show the guys expressing love for one another more consistently (in whatever way that might be—as you say, soldiers don't have to be all touchy-feely. Give us more moments like Wrecker supporting his brothers' bad habits) and then extend that to Crosshair. Which brother is going to demand that they fight for him? Which brother is going to acknowledge that they never tried to save him? Which brother is going to question this iffy statement about the chip? In order to buy into the family theme, Omega can't be the only one doing that emotional work.

Ideally, I wouldn't want Crosshair to go out of his way to prove that he's a good guy now. I mean, I obviously want him to stop helping the Empire and such, duh lol, but I'm personally not looking for a bunch of Extra Good Things directed at the Batch as a requirement for forgiveness. Simply because that would reinforce the idea that they're 100% Crosshair's victims, Crosshair is 100% the bad guy, and he's the only one who needs to do any work to fix this situation. Crosshair needs to stop doing bad things (working for Empire). But the Batch needs to start doing good things too (reaching out to him). Especially since Crosshair made a good play already, only to be met with glares and distrust. He saved Omega! And AZI! And none of them cared. So am I (is Crosshair) supposed to believe that saving one of their lives again will result in a different reaction? That doesn't make much sense. And no, his own life wasn't at risk when he did that, but does every antagonist need to die/nearly die to prove they're worth fighting for? As you say, he's already shown that he loves them, far more than they've shown the reverse. Every time Crosshair hurt them (attacking) it was while he was under the chip's influence. In contrast, the group has no "I was being controlled" excuse for when they hurt him (abandonment). Season two needs to acknowledge the Batch's responsibility in all this—and acknowledge that they're all victims of the Empire—in order to figure out an appropriate arc for Crosshair's redemption.

Right now, the issue is not Crosshair loving his brothers, the issue is how Crosshair chooses to express that love: trying to keep them safe and giving them a purpose in life by joining the organization that's clearly going to dominate the galaxy. The only way to fix that, now that his offer has been rejected, is for him to realize that a life on the run from the Empire, together, is a better option for everyone. And the only way for that to happen is for the Batch to seriously offer him a place with them again. They need to make the first move here. They need to fight for him. And yeah, I totally get that a lot of people don't like that because it's not "fair." He's the bad guy. He's with the fascist allegory. He's killed people and has therefore lost any right to compassion and effort from the good guys... but if that's the case, then we just have to accept that (within the story-world, not from a writing perspective) Crosshair is unlikely to ever come back from this. When people reach that kind of low, they rarely pull themselves out on their own. They need other people to help them do that. Help them a lot. But with the exception of Omega's reminder—which Crosshair can't believe due to how everyone else has treated him—they leave him alone and seem to expect him to fix himself first, then he gets their support. It needs to be the other way around. Support is what would allow him to become a good guy again, not "Well, you'll get our love when you're good again, not before." That's unlikely to occur and, as discussed, it doesn't take into account things like this bad guy life being forced on Crosshair at the start. If the story really wanted this to be a matter of ideological differences... then make it about ideological differences. Let Crosshair leave of his own free will, right at the start. Don't enslave him for half the season, have him realize he was abandoned, imply all that brainwashing, give him no realistic way out, and then punish him for not doing the right thing. This isn't a situation where someone went bad for the hell of it—the story isn't asking us to feel compassion for, say, the Admiral—it's a situation where Crosshair was controlled and now can't see a way out. That context allows for the Batch, the good guys, to fight for him without the audience thinking the show is just excusing that behavior. They should have been fighting from the start, but since they didn't, I hope we at least start seeing that in season two.

Ultimately though... I don't really expect all of the above. The more balanced dynamics and having the Batch fight for Crosshair rather than Crosshair going it alone... I wouldn't want to bet any money on us getting it, just because these are things that should have been established in season one and would have been more easy to pull off in season one. (If the Batch wouldn't fight for Crosshair while he was literally under the Empire's control, why would they fight now when he's supposedly acting of his own free will? It's backwards in terms of the emotional effort involved.) But again, it could happen! I'd be very pleased if it did happen, despite the jarring change. I don't want to make it sound like I think they're going to write off Crosshair entirely. Far from it, I think there are too many details like his sad looks for that, to say nothing of Omega's compassion. But the execution of getting him on Team Good Guys again might be preeeetty bumpy. I expect it to revolve around Crosshair's sins and Crosshair's redemption, even if what I would like is balancing that with Crosshair's loss of agency, the Batch's mistakes, and their own redemption towards him.

Honestly though, I just hope that whatever happens happens soon. It's a personal preference, absolutely, but after a season of Crosshair as the antagonist, I'm ready for him to be back with the group, making the Empire (and bounty hunters) the primary enemy. Whether his return happens through a mutual acknowledgement of mistakes, or through Crosshair being depicted as the only one in the wrong who has to do something big to be forgiven... just get him back with the squad lol. Because if the writing isn't going to delve into that nuance, then the longer he remains unforgiven, the longer some of us have to watch a series while going, "Wait, wait, wait, I really don't agree with how you're painting this picture."

#TBB #The Bad Batch #SW #Star Wars #mymetas #long post

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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I loveeeee the way ur brain works and i like all ur posts and love reading them. Its Jimin day today and i wont lie that i am feeling a bit sad about whole JK not posting on JM bday because he was getting active on Social media again and i thought its because of JM bday coming soon but i hope they are happy and JM had a blast celebrating his bday.. it annoys me how other ship( u know which ship) is happy and making fun about this situation and calling Jikook bond fake and nonexsistant. 1/2

Ahhhhhh this topic!

Also me:

Packing my bags off these shipping streets. Jk don disgrace us. Lol. Kidding. If more than anything today has solidified my faith in JK and Jikook and while y'all are jumping ship imma hold the fort. Hashtag Jikook for life!

I've been receiving a lot of questions about this, about JK not posting for JM's birthday and I haven't answered any of them because- well I passed out. So...

Anywho,

Jk didn't post true, but have you thought about what it would have meant for him and JM if he had posted?

Now I see a lot of people running through the ship streets shouting Jikook broke up, something was off between them, Jikook was never real, jikook this- Jikook that- y'all need to calm your horses or I swear to God!

I mean I am down for all that wild gossip and angst but I think y'all is tripping.

Do I think they are in a bad place, HELL NO. Do I think they are not real? HELL NO! Do I think JK don lost his minds? ABSOLUTELY.

Lol

No but seriously, I'm fascinated by all of this. I'm in pain, can't process shit but when it comes to Jikook I'm always intrigued and fascinated by them.

I'm mostly fascinated by why JK pulled a 5/8, geared up for JM's birthday but then posts crickets on Jimin's birthday as you've said.

Is it me or does this whole thing feel like the tattoo girl scandal all over again? Lmho.

Up until now, I've avoided addressing Asks about Jikook coming out, JK proposing and stuff like that because those territories are a bit tricky for me- to speculate on those, I find I'd have to speculate on whether marriage is something both of Jikook want, whether both of Jikook want to come out but these are conversations I don't think y'all are ready for with me.

Not when I believe one of them, if you've been following my train of thoughts you'd know which, is not ready to make such commitments, joking about marriage and shit- yes, that tiny man. Lol.

I mean the backlash I get for the tamer things I share on here- chilee, y'all is about to eat me up for this. Here goes nothing. Mama pray for me.

I have said, late 2018 to the middle of 2019 is one of the moments I sincerely felt JK was going to 'out' Jikook just based on the way he was moving through that era until that impromptu hiatus and the following scandal.

Out Jikook as in OUT Jikook- I've told y'all Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother. JK has been asserting himself and part of that self assertion ties in with his sexuality. He is tired of hiding. He's been tired since 2016- trouble this one.

Do I think JM is ready to come out- No. He doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to hide hide either. Dude just want to stay in that glass closet.

Throughout my posts, I've speculated this has been a huge part of their on and off dynamics since November last year. Jk coming off too strong, JM asking for space- yall know don't make me repeat myself.

November 2019 up until today is also one such periods I felt JK was going to out Jikook, inspite of all the ups and downs they've experienced this season.

JK scares me to be honest with you. I keep saying people are looking at him wrong. Hell, people are looking at Jikook dynamics wrong I feel.

All the times Jikook have almost been accidentally outed, who's been the most terrified? It's not JK.

Jimin's face when RM said JK sneaks into JM's bed at night, his face when they walked into JK's room on Bon V and saw the cameras. I have an entire dissertation on this on my wall please get with it. Lol

Whatever silent protest JK's been on since JM's birthday last year- Not gonna lie, I felt JK was not posting for the others so he could post on JM's birthday this year as a way of coming out with him? You know, make a bold statement like he's done over the years? I'm delusional but also dead serious.

Each time I feel JK's come close to this pivotal moment, something's happened. I swear Jikook is taking years off my life- I'm exhausted.

Why is he trying to out their relationship on his own and not do that with the consent of Jimin? I'm gonna pray to God, y'all can read my mind with everything I have been saying since my posts because this is cutting it too close for me- and I'm exhausted so maybe another post next time.

Like I've said, I really believe they are in a good place this time around. Y'all know me, I don't shy from angst, I'd say if I felt there's been something off with them since they fixed whatever they were going through early half of the year.

The only tension I've sensed between them lately was on day two of the online concert when JM got a little too excited with trying to sell the sexual tension fantasy in his other ships and JK didn't look like he was happy about.

Later during the curtain call you could see dude cold stoning JM resulting in JM doing what he does best in such instances- clinging on to JK for their life. Lol.

He vanished from Namjoon's side real quick to take the bow next to JK but JK- Y'all check that moment out for yourself, see what I'm talking about.

Is that why he didn't wish Jimin a happy birthday? I don't think so. I think he put a lot of thought and preparation towards this moment to make something like this undo all of that- that is if my suspicions about what he was trying to do this year is right.

Jimin gone wake up married one of these days he won't know what hit him! Lmho.

It is why, I don't buy this whole he didn't post for the others which is why he didn't post for Jimin narrative. When have you known Jk to care about things like these?

The man literally got a birthday present for Jimin gave it to him in the presence of some of the members without doing same for them. Singling JM out like this is nothing new to him. He has done so consistently over the years to let this deter him.

The question y'all should be asking is why he didn't post for the others in the first place. They are all friends and posting for eachother's birthdays is a long standing tradition in BTS so why is he breaking from this culture all of a sudden?

Is he rebelling? Is he protesting? What is he trying to do? Right?

This moment has been building up since last year after JM's birthday and I honestly believed he was going to go through with it- hell I bought a wedding dress and shit- Jikook you son of bish!

I have said the company is giving them much room to be themselves, RM isn't breathing down their necks, JM looked like he was finally committed- everything looked great between them in my opinion except perhaps for the growing tensions between JK, V and Namjoon- If you've been paying any attention to their recent Twitter war.

I hate speculating based on nothing, so I'm just going to point out to you my observations without drawing conclusions- I'll share my thoughts on what these moments means when I've had more content to peruse and analyze from now- but for now you can make of it what you will:

1. JK starts a count down on Twitter, JM responds and continues the countdown.

Now I clocked, the moment JK posted this on the 5th that he had something up his sleeves with regards to Jimin which I shared with y'all. He was going for a 5/8/13 it's not news now.

2. After Jimin posts day 4 for the countdown, who ever was going to post after him was going to have to post day 3 to continue the countdown right? But Tae posts a V-cut instead breaking that chain.

Now I remember joking about this moment with a friend, rolling my eyes exclaiming, here they go again! V is trying to sabotage JK yet again, and he'd turn around and ask why their friendship is dwindling. The pettiness and passive aggressiveness of it all!

That moment reminded me of when he called JK out for attempting to eyefuck JM through the viewfinder in the Dynamite MV reaction video. Remember that? Same energy to me.

They do shit like this and their shippers will not take note but will turn around and act surprised when we say Taekook ain't all that- rolling my eyes.

3. Hobi continues the countdown with day 3 and RM posts something random the next day but I think it was to neutralize the Taekook shenanigans. Neutralizing is what RM does best- we been knew.

4. Jk posts his Savage Love cover on the 8th and equally doesn't partake in the countdown he himself initiated because- Savage.

5. Suga posts day 2. RM and Jin posts day 1 and Tae posts D-Day on the D day to promote the concert. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now I didn't think much of this moment to be honest- i merely took a mental note of it for future reference, and was paying close attention to their interactions at the concert- which we will talk about soon..

I didn't make much of this bit until VJoonKook became a hold out on Jimin's birthday. They were the last three to post, two of whom ended up not posting at all for Jimin"s birthday- fucking traitors.

It was at this point I felt compelled to put on my tinfoil hat. And reevaluate the situation.

Why were these three people the same trio engaged in that little squabble just a few days ago on the timeline? I wondered.

It felt as if Taekook were engaged in a Russian Roulette racing the clock while Joonie stood by waiting to neutralize whatever shit those two were going to pull on the timeline.

Call me delusional but I felt JK was going to post, Tae was going to try to one up him with a ridiculous post or counter his post- V and his fucking VMin agenda! Lmho

RM was going to end up mirroring whatever JK was going to post to neutralize it as per usual- leave me alone. I said I'm delusional. Let me be. Lol.

There's just a lot going on all at once and it's easy to lose sight of subtle moments like these when they happen.

Like Jimin saying he would be on VLive soon, which first of all- yay!

Y'all know I've been keeping my eyes on the app, most especially how the members are going to use it post IPO, post Soop- I have a lot of questions; will they be monitored like they were in May? Will they be able to have intimate interactions with the fans like before?

Y'all know my theory about Jikook and the VLive stuff so I'll leave it there.

Now as for what this moment here means, I think it's a humbling experience for all of us but mostly for Jimin-JK you sonova bish! Lol

Jimin is the one who loves to flex his bond and relationship with JK, he loves to show off their relationship. He is the one who's been called all sorts of names under the sun just because of his relationship with JK- even if they are friends.

None of the members have suffered and paid a price for their relationship with JK the way Jimin has throughout the years. It is why I hate it when people compare the others to him. Even if it placates you and lessens your insecurities please don't.

I'm not pressed about no ship wars. Hell, I often start one myself- what? fun.

I'm worried for Jimin mostly.

I think JK more than anyone knows how this looks. Which is why I really don't think this is what he was aiming for all along. To make Jimin look this way- again not to say JM is better than the others he didn't post for.

I don't know what's going on with JK now but I am not about to tell you this moment is nothing. It is not nothing.

I know people want to console themselves with the whole my partner don't gotta show off on social media on my birthday to show he loves me- please shut up. Or may be don't. Y'all con shippers confound me.

This is Jikook here, showing is an integral part of their dynamics. Isn't that why people call them a fanservice ship? Because they show so much? Because they do so much?

Jikook like to show off their bond, they like claiming eachother, they like reassuring eachother and I'm sorry but Park Jimin's father set such high standards for his son's birthday for anyone who claim they love him to pull stunts like this. Do y'all know Jikook at all?! I have to ask.

Jimin loves to be treated like he is different and special. It's his love language. We know this, BTS knows this, JK knows this- don't make excuses for JK if at the very least you can't see what he was trying to do here.

Even if you don't think they are a couple they are best friends- at the bare minimum. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to login and wish a friend a happy birthday- Hobi made four and he is not dating Jimin. Just saying.

You can't yell Jikook show us a lot hence there's no need for wild theories and assumptions and bully people who come up with wild theories and then in the same breath say they don't have to openly show us they care about eachother for them to be real- Y'all are going to ship by faith now? Chileee.

I have said JK likes to retract and conceal and only shows what he chooses to show and this was his choice. It's as simple as that. He chose not to post.

He didn't do it because of no damn other members.

He occupies a huge space in JMs life to not know what this moment says about him and his highly publicized relationship with Jimin- chileee, whatever did park Jimin do to you, JK?! Jesus Christ!

Havent heard of a betrayal this grand since the birth of Judas Iscariot- Judas is that you? Lmho.

I joke but I don't find this funny at all. Bless them.

It's one thing to not post for the others, but it's different for Jimin. And this is not to say the others don't matter to JK, they do. He's called them all family but then again he hasn't placed any one of them on a pedestal the way he's placed Jimin on a pedestal now has he? So we cannot assume Jimin means the same to him as the others mean to him.

Isn't that why we ship them?

Personally, I'm hurt by all of this. It hurts me that some people are going to use this as an excuse to tease and bully Jimin, call him a liar, call into question the years of friendship between Jikook, call into question any future interactions between them- I don cried my eyes out all day for Jimin but also for JK.

It hurts that I have to defend JK and Jikook to anyone. The task wasn't easy before all of this- not that anybody sent me. Who died and made me their spokesperson. Chileee

But please let's not dismiss this moment or belittle it. It's monumental- to me anyway.

JK was on to something I'm just curious to know what stopped him this time around. I want to know if he plans on not posting at all for anyone in the future. How long is he going to keep at it?

He's tried to out them twice. Will he do it again? How is he going to do it? What is Jimin going to do if indeed this is what JK had been planning, how is this going to affect their dynamics- I'm excited for their journey however it goes.

It's their journey unauthored. I'm just here to observe and report- and may uWu while I'm at it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we gotta ask ourselves, had JK posted anything at all today knowing full well he hasn't posted at all for anyone in the group all year, that what would that have meant for their relationship? What message would that have sent?

While we lament about this moment, let's also take a minute to ponder over what this moment might have signified if JK had actually posted.

Everything he did in the days leading up to Jimin's birthday pointed to the fact he was definitely going to post. To me it felt he was gonna come out. He was. And if he had done it- my god!

JK isn't my favorite person right about now. He can go ahead and step on leggos. No kithes for him🙄

But I have faith in him. Always. He's consistently shown and proven his love and loyalty for Jimin through out the years. You don't nibble on a man's ear in front of sixty thousand people, to find posting a simple message on his birthday tedious. This is Jikook. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I wish I could tell yall, this moment means nothing, that JK not posting is not a big deal but I can't. This moment is everything.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook theories #kookmin analysis #jikook analysis #kookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook is real #ask goldy #ask response #ask about jikook #goldy #nightswithkookmin #jikook scenarios

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athrivingpadawan · 3 years

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This episode was so good!

First off, it’s crazy to think I’ve got followers on this account now--I originally joined Tumblr just to reblog a few things here and there, enjoy all the cool recipes and aesthetic posts, have my own little corner of the internet...then my inner nerd kicked in this past year and now I’m addicted! It’s been fun to join in with the rest of the Star Wars community on here, especially as The Bad Batch has come out and everyone’s put on their tinfoil hats to speculate about where it’s going. I’m grateful for all of you who have followed me, and for the discussions I’ve had with some of you about TBB. ^^

Now, heads up for spoilers if you haven’t seen the latest episode, because I do want to share my thoughts about it. And forgive me in advance, I’m a little tired, so a few of my thoughts might be messy:

Alright, where do I even begin with War Mantle...like, jeez louise, that was insane. Like, Republic Commandos?? My dude Gregor??? I was not expecting them at all, and both were happy surprises! And getting to see Echo have more emotional moments--even leading the squad into taking on the mission to rescue Gregor--was wonderful. Especially when he reminds the guys that they stuck out their necks to rescue him on Skako Minor...He had so many great moments this episode, and I hope in the next one, we get to see him step up as a leader in place of Hunter, and possibly even have another reunion with Rex.

Then there’s Kamino. Enough time has passed that project War Mantle has effectively taken over, and the clones are being successfully phased out. I just want to know where all the clones are going? Nala Se is evacuating a lot of them, but I’m honestly getting weird vibes about their future. After all, we only see three clones in Rebels, and there’s no hint that there are others out there. I’m definitely curious about where that is going, and how the writers will reveal what happened to the clones who make it off Kamino. And speaking of Nala Se, she’s always been a mysterious character, and I used to think she was on the side of the Empire, but now I’m not so sure. I’ve seen people on Reddit talking about how she really did care for the clones, but was protective of the inhibitor chip, because it was there as a failsafe. That she never really knew the true purpose of them. In this episode, she really does seem to care about what happens to the clones, even if she only sees them as projects, and wants nothing to do with Lama Su and his future plans. I have so many more thoughts on Nala Se, but I do think we’re leading up to her either sacrificing herself in some way, or even leading an uprising against the Empire. Because she did not seem excited about Rampart’s offer to her, and hasn’t said anything to agree with the Empire’s opinions against clones that I remember...

At the end of the episode, with Hunter, don’t get me started on how sad that was. One of the codes he lives by is not leaving any of the Batch behind. He followed it for Omega after finding out who she was. He’s been struggling the whole season with the guilt of leaving Crosshair to the Empire, to the point he’s been shoving it down and trying to avoid it. He broke his code, and that’s broken him. Then he gets captured, and orders his brothers to leave him. The code is shattered again, and it is gut wrenching. Then you’ve got that scene with Omega begging the others to not leave him, and for once, her desire to help falls flat on everyone’s ears. They have to follow their sergeant’s orders even though they don’t want to; they have to stay safe, for his sake. It goes back to the arguments on here about leaving Crosshair...how can you rescue your brother, if you die in the process of trying to save him?

As sad as this scene was, as a writer, I have to say how proud of it I am too. The writing team did a fantastic job, in my opinion, setting up Omega specifically, to fail here. Even though Echo was the primary reason the group took on this mission, Omega’s altruism played a role in it. The past two episodes, her beautiful selflessness has led to success, securing the Batch a true ally in Cid, and possibly one in Roland down the road, because she stood up for him. However, while her selflessness (and to an extent, the purity of her young heart) is noble, it can easily be turned against her, resulting in her or others getting into trouble. At some point, it was bound to lead to a loss of some capacity for the group. Yes, she has helped the Batch to see things from a different perspective. After all, they haven’t exactly been all that altruistic since the fall of the Republic, so there was a good purpose in her pushing them in that way. She’s been giving them a purpose outside of simple survival. But now, Omega is getting a necessary dose of harsh, cold reality that will humble and mature her moving forward. I can imagine that next episode, she’s going to be feeling guilty, or angry in some way. The light in her eyes is going to be dimmer, and Omega is going to start becoming a different character, if the writers execute this well.

It all reminds me of Ahsoka, in the early seasons of TCW. Y’all remember when she was super cocky and headstrong, and that was the most annoying part about her? Then it caused an entire fighter squadron’s deaths, because she wanted to do things her way? It led to her developing into a more collected, rational person, maturing her in ways lectures from Anakin never would have. Omega is luckily not this extreme, but her big flaw has been her naivety, her heroic little heart, and unfortunately, despite what Hunter and the others have been trying to tell her, she’s been determined to help as many people as she can. It’s overridden her ability to properly strategize, and see situations for what they really are. She has now learned, the hard way, what Hunter has been saying all along.

Finally, the animation in this episode. I watch this show with my dad, and we’re both always in awe of how realistic it is. And this episode, is it even possible to say it’s been better than the others? Like the trees around Hunter when he’s fallen to the forest floor are so real, I thought they had tweaked a real photo. The sun shining through the leaves, the particle effects of the dirt, and the shadow effects are all perfect. It made me feel like I was watching a movie, and I hope that the animators get nominated for an award for it. They’ve done such a fantastic job this season, and continue to knock it out of the park each week.

I’m sorry this was long...there was so much to love about this episode, and even more to think about. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the end of the season, and I’m excited to see what you guys thought of this episode!

#TBB #the bad batch #writing discussion #a little analysis?#this is all to say how much I've loved the show so far for all its flaws and perfections #I'm not looking forward to the end of it but hopefully more's on the way with a second season

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

#leverage #leverage 2.05 #leverage 2x05 #the three days of hunter job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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unaskedformagnustheories · 4 years

Text

UNASKED FOR MAGNUS THEORY #4: THE SILENT

This week’s theory is one of my more self-indulgent. It’s also probably being proven wrong as I type. So if you see this and you’ve listened to MAG 181 already, try not to laugh at me too badly. I just want to get it down before I have to refile this Google Doc under “dead wrong” tomorrow. What is this crazy, semi-coherent theory you ask? Well? Basically I think Adelard Dekker, Mikaele Salesa, Gertrude Robinson(?), Gerard Keay, Christopher Meyer (and maybe the coroner’s uncle from MAG 36 and Alard Dupont) might have been part of an underground society that figured out how to weaponize the powers by fragmenting/channeling multiple entities at the same time - evading attention while manipulating things to their own end.

Read on for my decent into madness.

EXHIBIT A: The Key of Solomon. Acquired by Gertrude Robinson in 2007, The Key of Solomon caught my eye with the following passage - found on a torn scrap of paper found by The Archivist in his exploration of the tunnels under The Magnus Institute (MAG 70): “They have for adversaries the Satariel, or concealers, the Demons of absurdity, of intellectual inertia, and of Mystery”. While I don’t think actual demons will come into play this late in the game, this is a very interesting quote taken from a book that we later learn was “one of the few volumes that contained elements from several powers” (MAG 80). In that same episode Leitner confirms the book was destroyed after proving itself to be too volatile, but could it be Gertrude learned a few tricks before disposing of the thing? The person who told Jurgen Leitner about the books called them “coded spell books”, and while Leitner seemed dismissive of this description, I wonder if there’s a kernel of truth in the simplification.

EXHIBIT B: We know that opposing powers can cancel each other out. Gertrude used a man touched by The Vast to stop The Buried’s ‘Sunken Sky’ ritual. Heck, she contemplated using Gerry to stop The Unknowing because of his affiliation with The Eye. The Ceaseless Watcher has trouble seeing anything to do with The Dark, etc., etc., but what happens when you combine three or more powers? Answer: silence. Like Smirke’s buildings, and Breekon & Hope’s depot after it’s been cleared out - places where multiple powers interact are described as empty. Silent. Almost as if they can’t exist in one space without creating some sort of self-destructive feedback loop. Is it so impossible to think someone with enough canny could channel that? Use it for their own purposes? EXHIBIT C: Adelard Dekker. In MAG 63 whilst trapping the Not-Them in a table, the statement-giver observes that Dekker’s lips were “moving rapidly though no sound came out of them”. In other words, he was silent. Somehow managing to wield a power strong enough to actively contain the creature. It’s potentially a stretch, but Jon also notices Not!Sasha has torn strips of paper when he goes rifling in her desk (MAG 57). We know that Not!Sasha went poking about the tunnels as well. Is it possible she also took interest in the remains of The Key of Solomon? Was she trying to understand or gird herself against whatever had left her vulnerable when she was bound?

[Archivist’s Note: Dekker is also described as wearing an outfit similar to the one Gerry Keay is found in when he arrives at St. Thomas’ with Diego Molina. It might be a bit on the nose to assume there’s a uniform if these folks are as organized as I’m making them out to be (they could be completely free agents who stumbled on the same hack), but I’m also not saying there isn’t.] EXHIBIT D: Gerry Keay’s poster. One of the first times we see our collective dead gay goth son (MAG 4) the statement giver comments on a poster supposedly painted by Mr. Keay bearing the caption: “Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call”. Tacked onto the bottom of a giant eye, the painting seems to only lend itself to one entity, but we know Gerry never fully gave himself to The Eye and the caption seems to speak to concealment. To silence. Even mysterious scents seem to be a reoccurring phenomena in the Magnus universe in places touched by more than one power. Did he know more than he let on when he met Gertrude? Do I maybe just want his last thoughts to be more resonant? “[His mother] would not claim his last moment. He was silent” (MAG 63).

EXHIBIT E: When Gerry wakes up in St. Thomas he’s missing both a red-leather bound book, and a brass amulet (I need to make a separate post about how I think brass is used to trap/contain the entities at some point), but for now I’m mostly interested in the fact that he tells the nurse ‘Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame” as if he has a choice. As if he has any modicum of control on what happens next.

CONCLUSION: This tinfoil hat really is tight. I might have to have it surgically removed. I know I didn’t really get into how Salesa is involved (really, it’s mostly because Annabelle Cane has taken an interest), or how I think he was meeting Alard Dupont in 1982 when Trevor Herbert killed him, or that I suspect if Gertrude was part of the gang, she went rogue and Salesa (and maybe Adelard?) faked his own death when they realized she was more of a threat than an ally. As always, I am very much aware that I’m probably over-complicating things and just need to go take a nap. SUPPLEMENTAL: I lied. I’m going to give a quick and dirty version of why I think brass is a method of containing the entities here:

1. Gerry’s brass pendant (MAG 12). 2. Brass grate covering the entrance to the Serapeum of Alexandria (MAG 53) 3. Brass boxes in Christopher Meyer’s house, holding assorted artifacts touched by the entities (MAG 60) 4. Brass urn requested by John Amherst (MAG 36) - this one’s odd because it’s requested by John Amherst, but if the coroner’s uncle who seems to know more than he’s letting on is a part of this same secret society here, Amherst might just be taunting him. Rubbing his face in it, as it were. 5. The Sarcophagus wrapped in copper bands (MAG 64). Copper, yes, but brass is an alloy made from combining copper & zinc, so this might just be an early attempt. 6. A brass handle is on the door containing the first victim from MAG 86, Tucked in. It is worth noting that the statement giver here, was convinced someone else had been in the house before he called the police. A belief that is ignored/dismissed. Could it have been someone we know trying to trap the beast? SUPPLEMENTAL TO THE SUPPLEMENTAL: In MAG 95, Basira is seen reading “Introduction to Alchemy” - talking about Venus and the various properties of copper. If there is something here, is she hip to the trade secret? She’s certainly extremely good at being silent/popping up without people noticing her, but I have no idea if it’s intentional, or if she’s just stumbled across something. Seriously, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to my TED talk. You’re awesome. I’m insane, and I don’t know how the eff you pulled something sensible from that cesspool of text. but it’s fun not to be in this alone! Cheers

#the silent #tma #tma theories #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathin sims #gerry keay #mikaele salesa #adelard dekker #gertrude robinson #basira hussain #the key of solomon #getting down to brass tacks #no?#that pun was awful?#alrighty #i'll be seeing myself out

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zombolouge · 3 years

Note

⭐️ for your Ace Attorney novel!

omg so much planning went into this fic it’s hard to choose between points to talk about!

I think one of the things that was most interesting to me in developing this story was creating the cases. I wanted it to feel authentic to how the cases in the game play out, but it was a lot more complicated to set up mysteries than I expected!

Ultimately, I broke down some of the things most common in the AA cases, which included the following:

- Emotional Stakes. There is almost always something happening to emotionally tie the characters to the case besides just the conceit of the story. Like oh it’s a sibling or a best friend’s life is on the line or someone beloved to one of the attorneys has been kidnapped. etc etc. Phoenix and the WAA almost never take cases unless they’re pulled in emotionally for some reason or another, though I always imagined those were just the ones we saw and they PROBABLY worked on other less exciting stuff the rest of the time. This was probably the easiest thing for me to include since I usually write from an emotional standpoint first. If you look at the cases in Indefensible, for the first one the emotional stakes were mostly centered around the fact that Miles convinced Phoenix to take the case, then decided to work WITH him to solve it when it got more complicated than they expected. Their tension working together and trying to hide their mutual feelings pushes the tension of the actual murder forward, coming to a head in the big Cliff Side scene. For the second case (which I won’t say too much about since it’s still unfolding), we are just finding out now in the most recent chapter that Miles is, somehow, directly connected in ways our characters don’t yet understand. This is layered with the emotional impact of who it was that died, so I’m upping the ante a bit for round two. On top of that, I took care to find ways to pull the other characters in along the same orbit. Maya usually goes where Phoenix goes, Franziska will start getting invested whenever Miles is involved, so they were simple enough to get involved. In the instance of this new developing case, I’ve pulling in Apollo (and through him Klavier) based on who it was that was killed. Through them getting involved, I’m able to drag in Ema and Nahyuta for the ride. I’m definitely making an effort to give each of them a solid reason to care about what’s happening beyond just “yup it’s another murder.”

- You usually know who did it, but not how to prove it. In almost all the cases, it’s pretty obvious who the bad guy is. Either they set it up for us immediately with little snippets showing how the murder was committed, or you can tell by seeing which person is being the biggest asshole or is wearing the painfully obvious accessory, etc etc. Honestly, this fact made it a lot easier to plan the cases out because I wasn’t trying to fully obscure the suspect from being pinpointed, so I could drop hints here and there without feeling like they were too on the nose. In the first case, they know WELL in advance who made up half the guilty party, but the tension came from them trying to find a way to prove it that didn’t land them all in trouble or give the criminals a way to wriggle out of getting caught. My second case is a little harder to piece together, but I think people will pick up on it pretty soon. I think the identity of the killer should stand out pretty soon, but people will probably have a lot of questions aside from that. Knowing who the killer is might even raise more questions than it brings answers.

- Rising and interconnected action. Most of the games consist of three cases, all rising in stakes, and usually, the first two appear unrelated until things from those sections come up in the third trial, tying it all together. Sometimes it’s directly related to the cases, sometimes it’s just related to things that happened in passing as they solved them. So, I wanted to create a cohesive story where things set up at stage one really pay off in stage three. I can’t really expound on what those things are yet, of course, because we’re still too early on in the second case, but I have definitely laid a lot of groundwork in the first part that people will probably start laser-focusing on soon. I went full yarn-pinned-to-photos-on-a-corkboard for these, which I hope makes it a thrilling AND complicated ride.

- Absurdity. I think one of my favorite parts about the AA franchise is that it has so much absurd shit going on, but they take it very seriously. YES, Phoenix puts a parrot on the stand and cross-examines it. But you know what? That parrot DID have vital information and helped him solve one of the most emotional cases of the first game. So, I wanted to have these ridiculous, almost impossible to believe stakes while also taking the emotional impact they would have seriously. So you get something like they’re stuck in a remote mountain resort during a blizzard and power outage, but they still have to function day to day and find ways to solve the murder set before them, and while the situation is absurd, they have to handle it with gravity, including dealing with the emotional responses this evokes. The follow-up cases, the absurd is more about the scale of it than the exact circumstances, and how certain situations will arise that create moments of absurdity while they’re doing very serious things. I have a couple of scenes coming up later that I’m quite proud of, because they’re both very tense and serious while also being completely bonkers, which is probably my favorite type of thing to write.

Once I had these components set, things started to fall together in my plotting and scheming, and if I ever felt stuck or confused I’d just look back at these core values and reorient whatever I was doing to match them.

omg thank you for giving me a chance to go all tinfoil hat about this stuff, this was a lot of fun. Hopefully some of you find it interesting!!!

#zombolouge writes #ace attorney #indefensible #ace attorney case makeup #how I planned the cases #deep thoughts on my writing process #lol I could probably spend way too long talking about this stuff #dwead-piwate-meggers

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uas-fics · 5 years

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Title: The One That Almost Got Away, But Came Back

Summary: While fleeing for his life after enraging his ex-friends, Tweek hides in a tree at the church graveyard. When the coast is clear, he tries to climb down, only to fall and hit his head against a headstone. When his vision clears, Tweek sees the transparent face of a kid he knew was dead.

Rating: T

Ships: Twenny

Other: Season Six is one of my favorite seasons, and while thinking about it, I wondered what would have happened if Tweek stayed with Stan and friends a little longer and how it would affect the following episodes. Obviously, the answer is a dumpster fire for Tweek.

~~~~~

Tweak bolted past the iron gate into the graveyard. There had to be a good place to hide from Cartman's wrath here.

He heard someone scream his name as he chose his destination: a large tree near a corner of the yard. Ducking down to crawl on his hands and knees, Tweek hurried behind the headstones.

He muttered apologies to the dead he crawled over. He just barely knew how to handle when the living picked on him. He had no idea how to pacify the dead!

Finally, Tweek came to the tree. He dared a glance over his shoulders.

Cartman stood on the sidewalk, but he hadn't spotted Tweek yet.

Pressing his back to the bark of the tree, he looked up. The branches were low enough he could easily climb up.

Stan and Kyle came shouting up to Cartman. They were mad at Tweek, too, but at least they didn't have an aluminum bat in their hands and murder in their eyes.

Cartman opened the graveyard gate, and Tweek was on his way up the branches.

The branches scraped his arms. On the fourth branch up, his shoe fell from his foot and landed in the snow below. He stifled a squeak of panic.

There was no going back for it now, so Tweek kept climbing.

If he got high enough, they couldn't see him amongst the evergreen needles, thanks to his dark green shirt.

Or that was what he hoped.

Tweek pressed himself against the trunk, taking shallow breaths through his nose.

Cartman walked right under his feet.

“Do you guys see him? Tweek! Tweek, come out!” He bellowed.

Not a chance, man! Tweek thought.

Kyle marched up, hands on his hips. “I told you he went to the right.” Kyle scowled at a nearby grave.

Stan followed Kyle. His hat balled up in his hands.

“Fuck this,” Stan snapped, “and fuck Tweek. All in favor we kick him out and find a better fourth friend?”

Stan raised his hand. Kyle and Cartman followed suit seconds later.

Throwing the bat over his shoulder, Cartman took a deep breath to shout, “Tweek, if you're here, know that you're a fucking bag of dicks and you were a terrible Kenny! You're kicked out! We hate you! Have fun sitting alone at lunch, you twitchy weirdo!

“Yeah!” Stan and Kyle chorused.

Tweak flinched. A lump formed in his throat.

His gut told him being friends with those three would be nothing but trouble, but Tweek had been so desperate for a permanent friend group, he ignored the feeling.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

If Tweek had a time machine, he’d go back before the friend tryouts and punch his past self in the face.

Sitting at any empty seat at lunch was so much better than all the bullshit he went through with those three! He should have left after everything that happened with Spielberg, but no, against his better judgment, he stuck around!

“Come on, you guys. I bet we can talk Cartman's mom into making us some cookies or something.” Stan waved his hand.

“Yeah, I guess.” Kyle's shoulders fell as he followed along.

Cartman screwed up his face into a determined expression. He looked up and down a row of graves then took a few steps towards the tree.

Tweak stiffened. If he looked behind the tree, Cartman would see his shoe and know he was here.

The setting sun glinted off the bat like an executioner's blade.

A step from the tree, Kyle called to Cartman to hurry up. Cartman heaved a sigh before turning around and walking towards his friends with the bat dragging behind him.

Tweak waited nearly twenty minutes before he found the courage to start down the tree.

When he put his weight on the final branch, it snapped out from under him. Thinking fast, he ducked and rolled onto the snow.

His skull struck against hard stone. The world doubled. His head spinning, he sat facing the tree with his hand against the tender lump forming on his head.

When he finally blinked the stars from his vision, he found himself face to face with a boy that Tweek knew was dead.

Kenny tilted his head to the side, eyebrow raised.

“You were falling really well until you hit the ground,” He told him. “Seven out of ten.”

Tweak stared at him, frozen with eyes wide.

Then he screamed.

Tweek tried to scramble back, but he found a wide rectangle of stone stopping him.

His fingers brushed against the letters carved into the stone as he pressed against it: “Kenny McCormick."

“Oh my God. Oh my God...” Tweak gasped. “I'm dead. I sn-snapped my neck when I fell!”

Kenny laughed and shook his head. He floated over Tweek and twisted his body so he laid on his stomach.

“No, you're not dead. You're still in your body. Weird you can see me, though.” He tapped his chin. “Maybe because you smacked against my headstone?”

“You're dead,” Tweak whimpered. “You died in December.”

Kenny nodded. “I am. I did.” He rolled over to look up at the star-flecked sky. “It's not so bad, you know, being dead. Hurts a lot less than when I was alive and sick.”

Tweek’s heart skipped a beat.

That's right. Kenny died because he was sick. He didn't know what Kenny had. It seemed like no one ever talked about how he died, but he overheard Butters say Kenny looked bad in his last days.

“His face is all skinny and pale like a sheet of paper,” Butters had claimed with a frown. “I hope he gets better soon so we can play together again.”

Kenny didn't look skinny now, or no skinnier than he was before he got sick. If not for the ghostly transparency, he would have looked perfectly healthy.

Tweek swallowed hard, standing up and trying to carefully walk around the ghost. “Oh, that's, um, good. I'm glad you're not, urk, hurting anymore.”

Kenny spun back around. “Nope. Ghosts don't feel anything like that, actually. It's weird, but you get used to it.” Resting his cheeks on his knuckles, he asked, “What was with you and my friends, by the way? Cartman looked out for blood. Also, you should go get your shoe. It’s cold outside. Don't want to lose your toes to frostbite.”

Tweek winced, backpedaling a few steps towards the tree to retrieve his shoe. “I, um, I fucked up. They won the drawing at Lolly’s for the all you can grab raffle. I lost the ticket.”

Kenny furrowed his brows. “I think I had the ticket. I put it in my lockbox so it would be safe.”

“Y-yeah, i know. Your sister told me when we went to talk to your mom. She, ah, your mom I mean, showed us your urn and everything.” Tweek still didn't understand why they kept an urn around for Kenny. He clearly had a grave right here. Did his mom want to keep him around that much she pretend they put him in there?

Kenny frowned. “They cremated me?”

Tweek didn't know what that meant.

Kenny looked down at the headstone, confused, then made a sound of understanding. “Ah, ok, ok. I think I get it. Probably. Continue.”

Without asking for an explanation, Tweek went on, “So, we got the ticket, and those idiots handed it to me to hold! Me! I'm the worst person to hand important stuff too!” He threw his hands in the air at the memory.

“Did you rip it?” Kenny asked

“I tripped,” Tweek slumped down, “and dropped it in a puddle. Lolly wouldn't take it since the numbers were smudged, so Cartman started chasing me. He even stole a bat when I ran through the park.”

Kenny sat up with his legs crossed. “A reasonable reaction to me.”

Tweek glared. “It was not! It was an accident! I wanted the candy, too, man!”

Kenny half shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Why were you hanging out with them?”

“I’m you, or I was you. Your replacement.” Tweek twiddled his thumbs. Kenny didn’t look particularly offended, just disappointed.

“They replaced me? With you?” He asked incredulously.

Tweek nodded. “Um, yes. Well, first they tried with Butters, but it didn’t work out so they had auditions and everything. I don’t think I was a very good you, though.”

“Well of course not!” Kenny burst out. “I’m me! I’m the only me there is!” He sighed. “Those bastards...They couldn’t have waited...never mind. Doesn’t matter.” Kenny scowled at his headstone. “Still, they replaced me with Butters? He’d make a horrible me!”

“He did, that’s why they kicked him out for me. I think because he started wearing tinfoil and playing with this second grader.” Tweek pushed himself into a more comfortable sitting position as he put his shoe back on. He supposed he should be scared. After all, he was talking to a ghost, but after the first shock, Kenny wasn’t all that scary

“My death really shook him, didn’t it? Poor Butters.” Kenny mused.

“They all miss you. We all do.” Tweek offered as a condolence.

Kenny smiled at that. He looked up at the sky. Tweek followed his gaze. It would be night soon.

“You need to get home, don't you?” Kenny asked.

Tweek stood, dusting off his pants. “Yeah, I do.”

Kenny hummed, wagged his head side to side as he thought. After a moment he moved so he was standing as well, though he was floating off the ground, putting him a little taller than Tweek.

“Would you mind coming back here to talk to me sometime?” Kenny requested. “You’re the first person I’ve talked to in a long time. It's boring here.”

“Aren’t there other ghosts around?” Tweek looked around. “It’s a graveyard.”

“Well, there is one other ghost around, but she’s old and doesn’t respond when I call to her,” he shook his head, “and none of the people around my grave are ghosts and I can’t go very far. So, please? If you want, anyway.”

Tweek chewed his lip. With Stan, Kyle, and Cartman kicking him out, it’s not like he had any other friends to hang out with after school. The other boys only invited him when they needed an extra for a group game.

“I guess I can.” Tweek nodded.

Kenny beamed so brightly, Tweek almost forgot he was dead.

“Awesome! Thank you, dude!” Kenny exclaimed.

Like an infectious disease, Tweek found himself smiling right back at the ghost before he waved and headed towards home.

~~~~~

By some stroke of luck, Cartman’s rage had waned by school time. He still glared at Tweek and tried to trip him in the lunch line, but he didn’t threaten his life with a blunt instrument. Stan and Kyle, on the other hand, refused to look at him. Tweek preferred that.

After the final bell rang, Tweek waited at the crossroads. If he headed straight, he could cut through town and go to the shop, or he could head to the church and the graveyard.

Shifting his weight from foot to foot, Tweek ran over what happened the day before in his head. Did he actually see Kenny’s ghost there or did he dream it? There was still a tender knot on the back of his head from the fall, so that was real at least.

But if it was real, he did promise he would come back. Kenny would be disappointed if his first companion in months didn't show--or maybe he would be mad. Tweek knew enough to know mad ghosts were the worse. What if he cursed Tweek to a life of always finding a pointy rock in his left shoe? What if he entered Tweek’s dreams and wailed 'The Song That Never Ends'?

Tweek squeezed his eyes shut, tensed his body, then spun towards the church.

~~~~

Kenny sat on his headstone, knees to his chest, singing a song that Tweek didn’t know. It sounded classic and old, like the songs that floated down from mass during children's church.

He didn’t seem to notice Tweek as he walked up, so Tweek waited with fingers tapping against the straps of his backpack.

Kenny had a good voice. Tweek didn’t know that. It was oddly operatic and rich and resonated around the graves, giving life to the graveyard.

When he finished, Kenny looked up. He jumped.

“Tweek, you came back.” He dropped his legs so they draped over his headstone.

“I said I would,” Tweek stepped closer. “What was that song? It sounded pretty.”

“It’s Mozart!”

Tweek furrowed his brow. “So it’s...Polish?”

“German,” Kenny corrected, “The song is ‘Leck mich in Arse.’ Guess what the song is about.”

Tweek shouldered off his bag and sat beside the headstone. “No idea,” He replied, unzipping his bag, “What does it mean?”

A crooked grin spread across Kenny’s face, revealing the gap in his teeth where one was missing.

“‘Lick my ass.’” Kenny cackled.

Tweek snorted, nearly dropping his pencil. “No way! What does it mean, really?”

“It does mean lick my ass, but I was read that a better translation would be ‘kiss my ass,’” Kenny kicked his legs.“It’s, like, a party song Mozart wrote. Isn’t it weird to think people in powdered wigs had fun?”

Tweek settled his math homework on his lap. “Where did you learn that song? I know some Mozart from my piano lessons, but I never learned that song.”

“A tape on music from the library. I didn’t know you played the piano.” Kenny leaned forward to look at Tweek’s homework. “Is piano hard? Do you like playing it?”

“It’s ok. I like doing things with my hands.” Tweek wrote out his first math problem in the space under the question.

‘If Johnny has two dozen apples, and he wants to share his apples with three friends, how many apples with everyone have? Please show your work.’

“I think most people like doing things with their hands. It’s easier than using your feet.” Kenny pulled his legs up to sit criss-cross but paused halfway to let one leg stay down.

Tweek shook his head. “No, I mean, I think bett—nevermind. It’s not that important.”

Tweek turned his attention back to his work.

Why was he so chatty? Maybe because Kenny wouldn’t be able to get other students to gang up on him? Was it because Kenny was safe to talk to? No, that wasn’t it. He just felt weirdly comfortable. Did all ghosts make people feel like this?

It didn’t matter. He wasn’t going try to explain all his weird quirks to Kenny, who probably didn’t care anyway.

“Two dozen = 12 + 12 = 24.” Tweek wrote.

As he drew out the division diagram, Kenny waved his hand in front of his face. He’d slipped off the headstone and sat against it with his head cocked to one side.

“Did you hear me? I asked what you meant.” Kenny dropped his hand to his lap.

Tweek spun his pencil nervously. “It’s nothing. You’ll laugh.”

Kenny puffed out his chest, then crossed his heart with his finger, holding up one hand. “I swear not to laugh. Boy scouts’ honor.”

Tweek put his pencil eraser in between his teeth and chewed on it. He bit off a sliver of rubber and swallowed it.

Hacking, Tweek fished out his thermos from his bag. He ran out of coffee around lunch time, so now it only had water with the faintest coffee taste. He chugged it.

“Hey now, don't die on me!” Kenny laughed at his own joke.

Tweek wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Sorry, I, um, I think better when I have my hands doing something. I get full of e-energy when I, urk, just sit around, but at least I multitask well.”

Kenny pursed his lips. “So you can’t stay still at all? I noticed you fidget in class a lot.”

“I can, but, it’s hard sometimes.” He explained, working through the problem. “But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I get so into something, I don’t move for hours. I once made an entire city of Legos on a Saturday. I didn’t leave my room once to go to the bathroom or eat until Mom got me for dinner.”

“That sounds kind of weird,” Kenny stated, but not in a judgy way.

“I know,” Tweek replied, circling his answer. “I’m a freak. Everyone says so. A freak, a, argh, a spaz, a w-weirdo.” He sighed. His chest felt like someone dropped a thousand-pound anvil on him. He swallowed the lump in his throat then shoved his homework in his bag.

“I need to get home.”

“Wait, Tweek!” Kenny scrambled to his feet. “I didn’t mean—”

Tweek didn’t zip up his backpack before darting down the hill. If he lost something, he didn't care. From the grave, he heard Kenny shouting at him, but he didn’t turn around or wait to listen.

~~~~

Tweek stared up at his ceiling and all the glow in the dark stickers he placed above his bed. He felt terrible for running away. He knew Kenny wasn't being mean to him. It was true. Tweek wasn’t normal. He was a disorganized mess of a person who couldn’t sit still for more than three minutes or could only sit still for three hours. He twitched and made weird, little noises. He was a complete freak for all those reasons!

Among other things...

Tweek rolled to his side, pulling his blanket to his nose, to stare out his bedroom window. The snow drifted softly down, illuminated from below by the street lamps. Were there lamps close Kenny’s grave? Could he see the snow too? He couldn’t feel it, of course. Maybe he was listening to it, to the soft sound of it gathering on the tree branches above him.

Tweek slipped out of bed and walked to the window. He placed a hand against the cold glass, leaving a handprint in the condensation. Guilt gnawed at his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Tweek whispered. “I’ll come by tomorrow right after school and stay until it gets dark. I promise.”

~~~~

This time Tweek found Kenny curled into a ball on his side. His eyes had a faraway look to them and his mouth set in a pout.

Tweek cleared his throat a few times before Kenny stirred. He sat up.

“I’m sorry,” He said before Tweek could speak. His words sounded rehearsed. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I don’t think you’re a freak or weirdo. I really like your company and—”

“It’s ok.” Tweek cut him off. “I don’t usually tell people about my problems like that. I didn’t know how to react to your answer, I guess.”

“No, no, I shouldn’t have called you ‘weird,’” Kenny told him. “I don’t really think that’s weird. It’s cool you can get so super focused on projects.” He rubbed his chin. “Imagine if my friends and I were like that. Usually, we get distracted halfway through and have to have someone, remind us to get back to work.” Kenny set his fists on his hips. “Imagine if we could work that hard. The town would have been blown up four times less than it already has been.”

Tweek burst out laughing. “Don’t you mean four times more?”

Kenny relented with a shrug. “Speaking of my friends, how are they? How is everyone in the class? Did anything big happen while I've been gone?”

Tweek sat down. “You’re friends are fine. They took your death hard, from what I can tell. They played it very safe for the first month or two because they didn’t want to lose another friend.” He rolled his eyes. “Not that that lasted too long. Those fuckers almost got me killed, you know! I pointed a bazooka at Steven Spielberg! We nearly had our faces melted off! I became a god and genocide happened in my name!”

Kenny chuckled. “Well, that’s just a day in the life of me and my wacky friends!” Raising his eyebrows jokingly, he made a move as if to jab Tweek in the rips, but caught himself before his elbow touched Tweek’s side.

His smile faded after a moment. “Well, I guess that would just be my friends now...”

Tweek felt his heart twist in sympathy. Kenny’s friends might have been major assholes, but they were still his best friends. He needed to get Kenny’s mind off of them!

“Ah, oh, and, Bebe! Bebe started to get her, you know,” Tweek waved his hands over his chest, “boobs!”

This got Kenny's attention. He stared, wide-eyed, at Tweek with his mouth slightly agape.

“Boobs? Like on her chest? For real?” He jumped up. “Tell me about them! Were they huge? Did they jiggle when she walked? Have you touched them?”

Tweek blushed. “What? Urk! Touch! No! Hell no! They’re not huge. If she wears a thick sweater, you can't even tell she has them, but they...they do weird things to us, man.” A shudder ran down his spine. “All the boys started fighting each other over being her friend.”

“If I was still alive, I’d want to be her friend too...” Kenny smiled to himself.

Tweak shook his head. “No, dude, they really made all of us act nuts! We fought each other like animals.”

Tweek didn’t add in that he still didn’t really understand why all the other boys acted like it was such a big deal. Stan had tried to explain it, but he just didn’t get it, so he pretended that he did and his involvement in the fights hadn't been in self-defense. So she had some bumps on her chest. So did Tweek after he got some mosquito bites last summer. All the boys didn’t beat each other up over him.

“If Bebe let me be her boyfriend, I’d definitely kick every boy in our class’s ass,” Kenny proclaimed. “Next school picture, you have to bring me the class photo so I can see her.”

“I will, if I can,” Tweek promised.

“What else?” Kenny bounced. “What else?”

Tweek spent the next two hours recalling funny or interesting school happenings to Kenny. He got the ghost to double over, roaring in laughter, three different times. Kenny’s voice even caught in his throat when Tweek told Kenny about seeing his sister playing with some girls in her grade.

Kenny drummed on his knees. “Wow, damn, I’m missing out on all sorts of fun stuff at school. Never thought I’d say that.”

“Man, at least you aren’t having to do fractions.” Tweek shuddered.

“Would you mind if I helped you with your homework some time?” Kenny requested. “I might be a ghost, but I don’t want to be one of those uneducated ghosts.”

Tweek didn’t think it mattered if a ghost knew fractions and long division or the history of America or what the difference between a metaphor and a simile was, but maybe Kenny just wanted an excuse for Tweek to keep coming around. He didn’t think he minded that.

Without his stupid friends around overshadowing and talking over him, Kenny was a really nice and interesting person.

“Ok, I can do that.” Tweak stood, adjusting his backpack. “I'll come back in a few days, and we can work through my homework together.”

Kenny's face fell. “In a few days?”

“I have to help at the coffee shop at least three days a week to earn my allowance,” Tweek explained.

Kenny nodded glumly. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” He shook himself before smiling at Tweek. “I'll see you then, alright? Bring me some really good gossip, ok?”

~~~

Tweek visited Kenny more often than not for the next few weeks. He brought what little wisps of gossip he heard passing by in the cafeteria and hallways, then Kenny would try to predict what he thought would come of the news.

“If Red is going to wear the same dress, then she and Annie will get into a fight over it, or at least talk behind each other's backs — which for girls, is the same thing as fist fighting. They’ll make up before look long through.” or “I know Cartman, dude. If he can show up Kyle as the golden child, he will.” or “Stan and Wendy broke up? I give it a week before their all over each other again.”

He was right every single time.

“That's amazing!” Tweak exclaimed. “You have a superpower, Kenny!”

Kenny scoffed. “I have a better superpower than understanding how my classmates think.”

Tweak took a bite of the snack cake he brought with him. “You do? What is it?” He asked around the heavy cake and creme filling.

Kenny looked down at his lap as he sat on his headstone.

“It's that....it’s...I can't...” Kenny shook his head. “I don't think it works anymore anyway.”

His voice held something Tweek from Kenny since meeting him as a ghost: fear.

Whatever this superpower was, it must have been a big loss for death to take it away.

Tweak wanted to pry, but Kenny jumped to his feet and clapped his hands.

“Tweek, I need a favor.”

Tweak swallowed his cake. “What?”

Kenny had asked for favors before. Little things like how a particular sports team was doing or news on a celebrity he either admired or despised.

“Can you check on my sister?” He requested. “Karen? You don't need to talk to her if you don't want to, but just get a good look at her. Make sure she's doing alright.”

Tweek shoved his wrapper into his pocket. “Um, I can try. Why? Are you worried about her?” His eyes wander to the half-eaten snack cake, then widened. “Do you think your sister is starving? That she's not getting enough food?”

Tweek took the wrapper back out to wrap up the snack cake. He felt guilty eating right now.

Kenny laughed. “Oh, no, I'm not worried about that. With me gone, she gets enough.”

Sorrow twisted Tweek's gut. Sometimes Kenny's dark humor over his death made him uncomfortable, but Tweek didn't think it was his place to tell the ghost to stop if it made him feel better.

As Tweek stored away his snack, Kenny explained, “I just want to make sure she’s happy. Kevin’s a good enough older brother. He can protect her when Mom and Dad argue, but he’s not so good at comforting.” He shrugged. “That fell on me, but since I’m not there...”

Tweek didn’t need him to finish to understand, so he agreed. Tweek didn’t have recess with Karen, but her class left the cafeteria at the same time as Tweek’s came in. Maybe he could look at her then.

Deciding to figure out a plan of action later, Tweek zipped up his backpack.

“Tweek,” Kenny beamed, “you’re the best, dude.”

Something about Kenny’s bright smile made Tweek’s heart stumble in its beat. His ears grew hot as he scrambled to his feet.

“I have to go.” Tweek pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’ll be back on Saturday, though.”

“Aaaah, that’s a whole four days,” Kenny whined. “I thought you only had to work three days to get your allowance.”

“It's supposed to rain and sleet all day Friday,” Tweek told him. “The weather might not make you cold, but it does me.”

Kenny sighed. “Alright, alright. I understand. I’ll see you later then.” As Tweek walked away, trying to keep his pace even, Kenny called, “Remember, find out if Karen is happy, ok? Stay warm until I see you again!”

The moment Tweek left the gate, he ran, his heart pounding and stomach twisting.

~~~

Chapter 2

#twenny #tweek x kenny #kenny mccormick #Tweek Tweak #fanfiction #kenny x tweek #the other characters don't play a big enough role to tag tbh

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subtlyfailing · 9 years

Text

Late night conspiracies: Gravity Falls predictions.

So Hirsch has once again dropped a bombshell on us. We now know that someone's gonna bite the dust by the end of season two, but the big question is who is it gonna be? I'm putting on my tinfoil hat for the moment, cause I was never one to sit idly and wait for something like this to be revealed.

Firstly, it's safe to assume it's gonna be one of the main characters, for the simple reason that it's what's gonna leave the biggest impact on the audience. We all know Hirsch isn't afraid to traumatise us, or to push past any and all borders of disney censorship,(I mean have you seen the show?) so we can assume he won't be afraid of killing off someone important if it serves a purpose to the story. Thus it's most likely gonna be one of the characters represented on the wheel

SO, who's it gonna be?

First, for the sake of laziness, let's quickly shorten the list of suspects. Who is it least likely to be?

I'm thinking these four;

Pacifica Northwest, Jesus Ramirez, Gideon Gleeful and Robert Valentino

My main reason for doubting it being Pacifica or Gideon is because I seriously doubt that even Hirsch would kill off a small child without explicit reason to do so (see: Mabel or especially Dipper).

Gideon has not been featured explicitly this season, and I doubt unless any changes occur, there would be any reason to kill him off now.

Furthermore, Pacifica has just stepped onto the road of redemption for all she has done, and I think it's too early for her to be killed off. The same would go for Robbie. From being a minor antagonist to dipper in the last season, they are just starting to show him in a sympathetic light, it would be too early for him to be killed off.

Lastly, Soos. I have no good arguments to offer against it, other than the fact that there are characters more likely to die.

Mabel Pines, Wendy Corduroy and Stanley Pines

(Yes, I'm working on the assumption that the Pines Twin Theory is correct, and that this is, in fact, Stanley)

Let's start with Mabel. Actually, Mabel might have fit better in on the first list of most unlikely. I find it unlikely for her to get killed off, firstly for the same reason as Gideon and Pacifica, because she is a child, secondly, she is a main character, and thirdly, because Dipper would rather die (or strike a deal with a demon??) than to let anything happen to her. (I do realise that is a terrible reason, but once again, there are characters more likely to bite the dust).

Which brings us to Wendy. Why is she on the list of more likely characters to die? Foreshadowing.

Remember this?

Yeah, it wasn't actually Wendy, and the purpose of the scene is resolving the Dipper/Wendy plotline, but it was quite a strong/disturbing scene. Gravity Falls is known for it's impressive degree of foreshadowing, so could this be such a thing? Could an equally sad, permanent faith be awaiting Wendy?

Not very likely, but it's fun to speculate.

Now, how about Stanley?

There are not a lot of things to go on here, seeing how we don't even know if he's real. But here's a few things. First off, he's an adult, which immediately makes it more likely for him to get killed off than any of the younger characters. Secondly, if he does exist, the viewers don't have a strong connection to him, and it might be less traumatising if he does die. Nor will it upset the overall story and character dynamic for later seasons. So Stanley is a solid maybe. Sorry dude.

Now, for the most likely candidates.

Dipper Pines, Stanford Pines and Fiddleford McGucket

First off, Dipper. Okay, so do I honestly think they're gonna kill off Dippingsauce? No, not at all. But I DO think he is in very hot water, with all his digging into things that are way bigger than him. There is a discussion going on about how he is starting to act more and more like Bill, striking suspicious deals, lying or telling half-truths, tricking people etc etc (take a look at the post, it's an interesting read). And I do really think that this will become important.

Another thing, there has been a lot of near death experiences for Dipper(or things representing dipper i.e. sock puppets) that could be alluding to something happening to him;

One might assume that the shapeshifter's threat has already happened (see: pine dipper) but I do still think it may be significant. I also believe the fact that he almost got maimed by zombies in the first episode might be significant - maybe to show us that the biggest threat to Dipper's life may be his own curiosity? There is no doubt in my mind that he will dig until he uncovers something he shouldn't have. Something that might threaten to truly end him.

But actually dying? I don't think so.

What about Stanford? Well, first off, he's an adult, once again it's more likely for him to get killed off than any of the younger characters. Secondly, there's the foreshadowing throughout the show;

doesn't it seem significant that all depictions of Stan that has appeared, save for Stan himself, has been destroyed in some way? (2/3 times in a fiery inferno OH GOD)

Again, Gravity Falls use foreshadowing a lot, so this seems likely. Also, with the way he's acting, what he's doing, and what the newest trailer tells us, he's up to major stuff. He's been doing weird shit for the last thirty years it looks like. Can he be causing his own undoing?

Maybe so.

Then there's Fiddleford.

Firstly, he's involved in what is going on under the surface in Gravity Falls - at least he was until he lost his mind to the memory erasing device. He is, however, slowly regaining his senses, which means its becoming more likely that he'll get involved in the upcoming situation in a way that might cause him his life. He is an adult, which makes him a more likely candidate, and most importantly, he is new as a main/important character.

He is much more likely to get killed off than Stan because the repercussions won't be as dire. I love McGucket, but let's be real, if Stan is to get killed off, it would unbalance the main cast of characters. Mabel and Dipper would no longer have a caretaker, and they would be shipped back home unless somebody else were to step up and take care of them. Stan dying would be life-altering for the entirety of the show, and I doubt it would fly.

Unless somebody else were to take Stan's place, the person to get killed won't be Stan.

So we're landing on Fiddleford out of shear logic.

I might be totally wrong, but I know a lot of you are thinking the same. McGucket is the logical choice that will have just the right amount of impact.

I worry for the old man.

LAstly, one thing I haven't touched is the fact that Alex Hirsch in his tweet says at least one character. Could there be more than one doomed? What do you guys think about my sleep-deprived, slightly-sick ramblings?

#gravity falls #gravity falls theories #pacifica northwest #soos ramirez #robbie valentino #gideon gleeful #mabel pines #wendy curdoroy #stanley pines #dipper pines #fiddleford mcgucket #stanford pines #grunkle stan #overanalysis series #alex hirsch #dipper #mabel #overanalysing

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aimmyarrowshigh · 5 years

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You do know that warsaw ghetto was ruled by German nazis and Jewish police? And not poles/poland? And that warsaw was occupied by nazi germany so poles had literally nothing to say during that time? You do know that polish government asked for help numerous times (France, great Britain and others) yet nobody helped (even though they had promised to do so)? And that polish people actually tried to save people from ghetto during warsaw uprising?

If as many Poles actually tried to help the Jews as you’re pretending, why did 90% of Polish Jews die during the Holocaust and the years AFTERWARDS, when they tried to GO HOME?

Why is the Polish government literally STILL trying to pretend like they were the real victims when they were, and actively still are, 100% complicit in the genocidal war crimes committed on their soil, even though yes, technically the German soldiers were of course the men at the top?

(Also, do… you think that there’s a misunderstanding about how war works or something? Like… do you think that war in real life is like Endgame and Hitler was the Big Bad like Thanos and he was literally one dude who snapped his fingers and Holocaust’d all by himself and everyone else was a hapless, guileless, good-guy victim and/or a brainless pawn who had no role other than to get clobbered by the Hulk and had no actual stakes of their own? Because that’s… not… how war works, my guy. The Nazis were the bad guys. And also the Poles were bad guys, when it comes to how they treated, and treat, Jews, despite being victimized by the Nazis on their own level. And also the Italians were bad guys. And the Japanese, especially to South Koreans. And the United States were bad guys to Japanese-Americans and also to European Jews, even though they were good guys to European goyim, except the Germans, to whom the US were bad guys. I know that every single piece of media that comes out anymore is the Monomyth, but like… Hitler wasn’t Palpatine, single-handedly responsible for All Evil. There was no One Ring that ole Adolph found while making a shitty painting that suddenly made him decide that It Was The Jews’ Fault That Art School Didn’t Work Out.

And… like I know it’s a hard concept that you can be victimized by war while also being seen by other victimized peoples as a full-on 100% villain on par with YOUR villain but like… Polish goyim were full-ass reveling in committing a genocide that you’d been hard at work on for literal centuries all on your own and now had additional tools and funding for because of your vanquishers and like you didn’t WANNA thank your conquerors for anything but ALSO now you could burn 90 bodies at a time and that was super useful for getting property that you’d wanted for a long time and had to let gross YIDDEN have, sooooooo… I’m just saying, y’all did not exactly have a great track record with pogroms before 1938, either. Killing off all of Warsaw’s Jewish population was not something that you guys were exactly SAD at the Nazis about, and that makes you pretty fucking shitty. And villainous. Putz.)

Why pass fucking laws in the year fucking 2018 to cover your shitty ass from the truth coming out coincidentally with the discovery of the second volume of the Ghetto archives, and even if it HADN’T been found – because the third probably never will, since it’s under the Chinese Embassy and that’s a whole international incident waiting to happen – why do goyim need SO BADLY to control the narrative and pretend like you weren’t watching a genocide happen in your backyard and, at best, just… letting it? And, at MORE FUCKING LIKELY, turning in your neighbors and classmates and friends to get better treatment FROM THE NAZIS YOU FREELY ADMIT WERE OPPRESSING YOU? YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT THE NAZIS TREATED POLES LIKE SHIT? OF COURSE THEY DID, FUCKING DUMBASS. THAT’S ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO GET YOUSTUPID ONE-BRAIN-CELLED CONSPIRACY-THEORY-LOVING WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS TO COLLABORATE FASTER AND WITH MORE COMPLIANCE. The worse the Nazis treated the goyim in the countries they had military victories over, the more antisemitic those countries STILL. FUCKING. ARE. Look at y’all. Look at France. Look at England. You STILL seem to think that if you eat the asses of the goose-stepping hordes, they’ll give you a couple more ration stamps, and when it doesn’t work, you can still safely pretend like it was all their fault that you had to take ration stamps in the first place and that you were the one REALLY suffering because you had to stick your tongue up a Nazi’s asshole. :( Poor. Fucking. You.

You know what the Jewish police were doing in the Warsaw Ghetto most of the time? In real life, I mean, not in your Alex Jones frothy-mouth tinfoil-hat “I had psychosis about pizza-fucked dead children and that’s why I’m being sued by GeOrGe SoRoS!” world? Moving the bodies of people who starved to death on the fucking sidewalk out of the way so people could walk. And keeping out goyishe Polish sightseers who saw the Ghetto as a freakshow, like a zoo, to go watch the entertainment of exotic Jews dying. Another fun thing that Polish goyim liked to do in the Ghetto was to raise prices on water and flour to the equivalent of hundreds of today’s dollars, or wait to sell until it was rotten and then take that as proof of antisemitic canards about Jews eating garbage. But I’m sure that it was heartbreaking for the vendors with casks and casks of clean drinking water to watch children die on the sidewalk and still refuse to let them drink. Christian principles, or whatever.

Were there some individual shitty Jews in the Ghetto? Probably. But that doesn’t excuse, like, 30,000,000 shitty Polish goyim. Fuck you.

You know the images that you fucknuts idiots like to point to and say, “Ugh, SEE, those Ghetto Jews, they had no dignity, it was WE REAL POLES who were suffering, those FILTHY JEWS DESERVED IT,” like the wartime postcards made by the Polish government and, oh, idk, the Nazi fucking Party that showed things like Rabbis having their beards combed and shaven as though for lice or shrunken-in, starving Jewish women fighting each other over scraps of bread? THEY’RE FUCKING NAZI AND POLISH PROPAGANDA, YOU FAKAKTA SCHMEKELE MORON. WE WERE NEVER THAT. YOU STAGED US TO BE THAT WAY BECAUSE TO YOU, OUR SUFFERING WAS FUNNY AND YOU KNEW THAT WHEN WE LIVED, IN 50, 75, 100 YEARS, YOU WOULD NEED TO HAVE YOUR VERSION OF THE STORY IN PICTURES TO TRY TO PROVE IT WAS THAT WAY. But it wasn’t. That would be like looking at Trump’s twitter in 70 years and believing that he really was a stable genius. (Of course, you probably think he IS a stable genius, because you’re a very fine person.)

Unfortunately for you, and for all of fucking WWII-era Poland, and fucking now-era Poland, you forgot that Jews remember their history. We’ve been through it before and we kept a history of our own. And two of the three Archives have been unearthed and they are public and they have been translated and your antisemitic, disgusting government (and, like, also the American disgusting government, I’m not pretending like the US government isn’t ALSO disgusting, this just isn’t about that at the moment)

Get fucked on your swastika dildo somewhere else. I know more about life in the Warsaw Ghetto than you ever will, because your government is literally lying to you because of national pride and antisemitism and you’re lapping it up like good white-dick cum. Get. Fucked.

The Polish goyim who STILL refuse to return property they couldn’t wait to steal from their neighbors were far from helpless do-gooders.

If the choice is “collaborate with the Nazis or die,” you choose to die. You always have a choice. That is the moral choice. You choose. To die. Rather than collaborate. Period.

FUCK.

#**#asks

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rainelot · 5 years

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GCF in Saipan- A Rant as of August 2018 (Posted December)

(Out in December since I wanted to get a more objective view on things and to edit it slightly. This is just as a memory record anyways so)

When I made this blog, it was meant to be a blog to rant about anything Bangtan that interested me. However, I recently encountered one of the most frustrating, interesting, and baffling two days of my life and I needed to address the cause of this with a rant (that I doubt people will read). The cause: Jungkook’s GCF in Saipan.

WARNING: THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN. I claim no rights to what is true or not. Don’t take this too seriously please. Will have Koomin/Jikook references.

To start it off, I don’t like real people shipping. I don’t really care if others do it (as long as they remain sane and logical) but I personally didn’t enjoy doing it for one reason: I don’t know them personally, so it isn’t any of my business. I enjoyed their interactions with each other platonically, using what they gave us upfront as fuel, and whatever else that might be happening to purely up to them. For BTS, I never before cared much for shipping, and just enjoyed every interaction as it is.

Then I watched GCF in Saipan, the catalyst to my descent into a brief insanity. What I can say about Saipan is that it is a theorist haven, perhaps why I’ve become so interested now. By “theorist”, I mean NOT REAL, and my opinions should not be taken as fact. These are all just observations that I personally took from the GCFs.

Perhaps what I should say before going into Saipan specifics is that I watched Tokyo in my early days as a fan. I did not know the context of the song, I did not know Jungkook or Jimin well, so I didn’t think much of it. Of course, I acknowledged it was fairly romantic in setting, but I took it to be interpreted either platonically or romantically, and even now I don’t think too much of it. The video itself has a personal meaning to me: reciprocal love, any shape of it available, with little accents and layers that can be tilted and shifted for the viewer’s own interpretation (as all art). I don’t have too much to say about Tokyo itself, because of how straight forward it is. Saipan is the one that makes no sense if I tried to take it in upfront. I’m not very good at reading behaviors, hence my inability to see what others see as “moments”, but I have done some (very unprofessional) editing before and I absolutely love art analyzing, which the GCFs very clearly are to me.

For this, I will be isolating Saipan in a fairly tight bubble, with little unrelated topics. I won’t be including much outside Jungkook’s art (except in the skeptic area). Some previous GCF mentions/comparisons, some outside views strictly on the films as well will be referenced in the rant itself. Not going to include any deep reading into their overall relationship, mostly an analysis of the GCF.

I watched Saipan (at this point after being a fan for long enough to care) first thinking that something was off. Something wasn’t harmonious with each other. The second time I watched it, I realized the dissonance was between the film and the music. Together, it wasn’t coherent, which is different than all of his work so far. Tokyo, Osaka, even USA though being equally promo-related, they all had more to build upon meaning-wise, the perspectives matched within the film. Saipan’s song both in mood and in subject clashed with the film from beginning to end. Of course, all in my opinion.

Here is the song:

Now, before I go any further, I had an intensive discussion with a mutual on twitter, who is a multi-kpop non-BTS stan. She doesn’t keep up with Bangtan, but she likes some of their songs and is a casual listener. She is also somewhat experienced and knowledgeable in video editing and had very interesting input for the factor of “film sound”, the information from a document which she paraphrased. This was her input through the DMs:

“The Pacific Cinematheque has stated that there two types of sound in film, Diegetic and Non-Diegetic. Diegetic is the sound that we would also experience in real life. Non-Diegetic is any sound we don’t experience in real life like dramatic orchestrated songs or musical score or sound effects like the screeches in the shower scene Psycho.”

“So why do directors use sound? Well (and here it comes) it is to do any of the following 1. add mood 2. add atmosphere to a film. How? By adding these soundscapes that Accent or add another Layer of meaning to the film. The filmmaker wants the audience to perceive the scenes in a specific way, and sound/music leg scenes be seen in the specific way that the director intended. Silence in a film can represent something very important or a turning point. Music, specifically in film, has various uses, but most commonly it is used to “guide the emotional response of the audience”. Music is the clue in scenes, it’s like a huge signpost directing (pun cause the filmmaker is a director anyways off track sorry) the audience on how to react to a scene.”

“So basically what I am saying is that of course Jungkook is aware of the music he’s using in his gcfs, and he’s also aware of the reaction he wants from the films. He used that song because he wanted a specific reaction from the audience, he wanted us viewers to see what his intentions are and at this point I’m insane too cause all I’m thinking is that he wants us to react to Jimin and to focus on that.”

(I may or may not have told her multiple times through out my discussion with her that I feel like I’m going insane. I calmed down before writing this though, for the sake of making any sense and neutrality.)

These are just the basics. If you still aren’t convinced how important a song is in context to a film, then remember: before Jungkook even began making the GCFs, he was doing mainly covers of songs. And he said, specifically to the fans, that the lyrics of his chosen songs are important. He usually chooses them for a reason (what that reason could be, up to the viewer, since he doesn’t outright explain the choices).

So we established that first, Jungkook most likely chose this song with actual thought and intention put into it (again, take that intention with what you may).

Of course, what interested me was Jimin’s parts. Mainly because he is my son (even though I am fairly younger than him), and also because of the teaser Jungkook released shortly before dropping Saipan. Truth be told, I wasn’t really expecting the silly dance nor the punches to be included, as I thought that Jungkook only posted that to show Namjoon and the fans what was going on in the “behind the scenes” video Namjoon posted the day before. Perhaps a little blooper insight. So yes, I was surprised that the scene was included at all, much less becoming a gap-clip repeating between alternating clips of the group and other members. I was also surprised at the amount of time Jimin was shown, as after USA being a very equalized group video, I was expecting the same from Saipan. Similarly to USA, it was very work-oriented and promotional, and also both (definitely USA as from Namjoon’s Vlive) were most likely commissioned by Bighit.

Jimin’s dominates the bridge. By dominate, I mean he is the only one with a completely exclusive part in this particular GCF. Verse 1 was Taehyung, verse 2 was Hoseok, and the choruses are a mix. Jimin appears the most not only through adding up all the small clips, but because he takes up two solid blocks of the song, both with the same context and lyrics. The reason why the it’s hard for me to link the others with their individual parts is because of the way they were shot, the clips that were chosen, all very aesthetically pleasing but difficult to find depth or flow in. Jimin’s parts almost had a story line. This is important to me because of the lyrics, which we shall visit now.

First the meaning of the song. John K. in an interview: He describes the bouncy track’s meaning as “[about] evolving through young love, admitting to past mistakes and committing to giving someone the best possible version of yourself.”

To be honest, this song is not as ambiguous to me as There For You, Troye Sivan, Tokyo GCF. Sure, Troye Sivan is a gay artist, and the song lyrics are directed at a boy. But the lyrics themselves I do think can be taken in any shape of love. For Best of Me, this is not the case. I think Verse 2 is the clearest reason for this:

Waking up next to you

Got you back in my arms

Don't it feel like it use to

Like we were never apart

Never thought I would see you

Now we're loving in the dark

We can't fight this feeling

While I’m a staunch believer in lyrics being universally interpreted and available to all versions of personal view (take Osaka as an example, which is another fairly straightforward GCF), to make it simpler for myself right now and with the tinfoil hat on, I’ll stick with what the song can be most basically understood: lovers who are loving in secret, but wants to be let free.

Here comes a bit tinfoil (not really shippy, but more reading into what it could mean artistically. Purely subjective interpretation):

Now, without going into the ship or anything at all first, here is my artistic interpretation of Jungkook’s editing: the lyrics may be directed at Jimin, but I personally can also intemperate that Jimin in the video embodies the lyrics, or the lyrics embody Jimin in the video. Either way works for me. This is interpretation in the same way people interpret the smile of Mona Lisa (purely individualistic), and it doesn’t rely too much on Jungkook’s true intentions here. Again, I don’t claim any of this as the true meaning, as to me there is no true meaning needed for me.

In the video, Jimin shows the rawest actions. He barely pays attention to the camera half of the time, and when he does, it’s for the sake of the cameraman (Jungkook). This can be seen when in the second bridge part, he shows Jungkook his own camera just off screen, and during the second chorus, he high-fives Jungkook, just off screen once more. I believe Jungkook also chose these parts intentionally, especially the sneeze during the second bridge that he zoomed in on. No matter if the purpose was just to clown Jimin (also possible), it still leads an interesting narrative for me (I know I repeated this multiple times, but no, this may not be the intentions of Jungkook, and it is my own view on it as an art form). The lyrics “I don’t wanna hide no more” building up to “Imma let you get the best of me” was in sync with the way how Jimin bursts from a serious expression into a silly dance, with the silliness continuing later after the chorus and verse 2 into the second bridge. He is true to his actions, letting go of inhibition, essentially not hiding, lying, nor acting anymore. All genuine, silly, honest moments, such as the sneezing, the off camera action, etc.

The editing for the dance part is interesting too. As I said before, I wasn’t expecting it, so it was interesting when it seemed Jungkook added a separate track and layered other clips on top of the silly dancing. This one might be a bit of a stretch, but I can see it like the clips of the groups randomly were “hiding” the silly dancing. No particular meaning needed really, just a technique used in editing that, to me, matches the lyrics in an unintended way. Those were just my thoughts when considering the possibilities of the lyrics, and the visual is pretty cool in the narration. I know from experience that it’s much easier to layer clips (BTS eating) over a longer clip (Jimin dancing) rather than cut them individually to fit around each other. So that’s just a neat observation lol.

Artistically speaking, Jimin is the only solid narrative and character within the video because there seems to be an actual correlation between the actions he does chronologically with the lyrics given for him. I find it interesting how he and the lyrics embody each other as the video went on. Again, my personal take on a work of art.

Now here’s the ultimate tinfoil-kinda-shippy part of my post. ALL PURE SPECULATION.

This video can be conceptually all about the “hidden��. Looking at this as a GCF, in comparison to his two earliest works, it is a lot more promotional, like USA (I actually have some thoughts on USA and Bangtan as well, and may think about writing a post for it. It’s not gonna be as bad as this one though).

Perspective of GCFs before Saipan:

Onto the subject of music perspectives, Jungkook so far as established a trend of using the perspective within the songs to be directed at the people starring in it, most noticeably in Osaka, with the way the lyrics were directed/about either Jimin or Taehyung’s roles/characters in the film from a first person perspective speaking. Tokyo as well with the last few lines of “running running just to keep my hands upon you”, showing the camera in the perspective of being behind Jimin as he got farther away with the first person pronoun. USA with the “we” point of view, which is then including the film’s perspective as part of the “we”, especially noticed when Jungkook goes to shake Zedd’s hand. I assume then that Jungkook uses the music choices as a way to direct to the people or to include himself in it at some points, rather than being a passive outside third person view. Now that GCF in Newark is out, that is even more obvious, though I also find Newark to be a diverging path in his medium exploration, so the perspective is more centered around himself rather than those around him. GCF in Saipan was made with the same format as those before it so my thoughts on its techniques are the same (I will be ignoring Newark for now since it’s format is so radically different, as well as the fact that its creation doesn’t affect his previous works).

This is important in the case of Saipan being very dissonant with the the perspectives of the film and of the song. Beyond my personal artistic perspective above (which, in my interpretation, I believe is another layer to the narrative, as multiple meanings within art is always the best). Say that the lyrics are from the point of view of the camera as a character in the film (Jungkook), which so far it has been for most of the GCFs. USA’s perspective made sense in that it was a group song, and it’s about a "we”, including Jungkook, reminiscing the old days. Generally equalized screen-time for each member, first person plural perspective, you get it. Sure, the tone and mood of it was off, but at least the perspective made sense. Saipan’s perspective and mood both don’t make sense. As a whole, Best of Me as a song choice doesn’t make much sense, given the perspective of it. Very different to USA, which I previously thought Saipan was going to emulate for reasons already stated.

Saipan is biased to Jimin based on the film and lyric placement, as previously stated, and so narrative-wise, it is also Jimin-biased. The song choice itself is also strange in that Saipan’s song is very clearly not a group song. It is a song with a “me” and a “you”. During the bridges, it’s even more clear how the “me” and “you” works. With the camera being the perspective, the “me” is the singer speaking, and the “you” (if we base this off of how Jungkook’s use of perspective works thus far) is directed at whoever is on screen. The same way Tokyo was directed at Jimin, and in Osaka, Jimin and Taehyung appeared whenever the lyrics were directed at them (Taehyung appearing at “he’s taking your side of the bed” so he is the subject of the “you” in that set of lyrics, similar to how “running running just to keep my hands upon you” in Tokyo, the “you” was Jimin. Again, Jungkook uses the camera as part of the narrative, hence the use of communication between camera and “actor”).

Well, you may ask, why isn’t anyone else’s part in the going to be the same? Especially Hoseok’s part, which to be honest, I’m surprised no one mentioned much? They mentioned how the song had questionably romantic lyrics, and everyone freaked out about how beautiful Hobi was in the video (same though) but his part coincided with those questionable lyrics I mentioned earlier. Why doesn’t that indicate Jungkook proclaiming his undying love for Hobi? Well, the main reason is most likely “selective context”. That part by itself could allude to that, but as a whole, the film focused on someone else. So this is an example of taking parts of something to make a different whole. That’s why the structure of Saipan felt different than those before it. Tokyo was linear, Osaka was alternating between two, USA was group, and Saipan is... weird.

So, during the bridges, the “me” is the “I don’t wanna hide no more, I don’t wanna lie no more” and the “you” is “’cause what I found in you is so real”. Depending on who the camera’s perspective is, this can be taken in many different ways. However, USA makes me believe that the camera itself is really Jungkook (as I always assumed so) and not the fans, a third person, etc. If the “me” is Jungkook, and the “you” is Jimin - well, I did sort of lose my sanity for two whole days.

In short, for an entire two days I was convinced Jungkook was in love with Jimin or at least had some sort of romantic connection with him in some way. Not that they were in a relationship, I was feeling something much too sudden for me to give it labels, and much too isolated to consider any “big picture”. And I felt like I was going insane because of how out of the blue my own reaction was. As I said before, I’m no shipper. So it was shocking and a little terrifying when I was so convinced. (I am calmer now, and have a relatively more neutral stance on the pairing once more, thankfully).

The main reason why I was so convinced previously was because of one reason: with input from my perspective analysis, I believe the GCFs are from Jungkook’s point of view (as we all believe). With the song choice and the clips chosen, it was a surprise to me when I thought about the film more carefully. I don’t ship BTS because to me, those are outside opinions on what’s happening, behavioral analysis videos, coincidence theories, etc. Sure, they can be interesting, sometimes cute, but I don’t see any need to support or pay too much mind to it. With GCFs, it was different because this was not outside perspective. This was Jungkook. This was his video, that he filmed and edited and spent time on. Like with his covers, as he had told us before, they (could) have meaning. They (could) tell a story, that may change the way you view his work. So what exactly could he be trying to tell us has been interesting for me to interpret. Of course, I still don’t think it matters much to have an absolute “True Meaning” unless he gives out one, and even then, art is appreciated in many ways, with so many facets and personal subjective connections. I don’t think I’m right, just that it’s what I perceived. And for me, it took me off guard how disconnected from the rest of the film the bridges were. They were so different in mood, in style, the bias, the commutative narrative going on. I couldn’t understand what Jungkook was saying, unlike all GCFs previous where it felt more coherent and I could at least somewhat figure out his message. And while perhaps Saipan simply doesn’t have a message, that’s hard to believe with this ongoing narrative.

This basically comes down to the opposing ideals in my mind. On one hand, I would hate to assume anything about someone I don’t actually know, especially when it’s something so personal and not-my-business. On the other hand, I would hate to dismiss anything that could be meaningful from an artist who put a lot of thought and handwork into a project of their’s. Something my art teacher of four years told me before “don’t be scared of being wrong about reading into an artwork, because they want you to see the things you are seeing”. Perhaps it’s all on purpose without any personal meaning? Maybe. I’ll stick with the “meaningful narrative but not necessarily romantic” for my own safety.

Who knows? Here’s some counterclaims to cheer you up and help me regain sanity.

Speculative counterarguments with responses and more doubt and speculation (my irl friend helped to come up with some of them, just in case):

Counterclaim:The song is meant to be taken platonically, with more focus on literal meaning on the chorus parts “Imma let you get the best of me”, aimed at either the members or at the fans. The song may also be promotional due to it having the same name as one of their own song. This means the entire video was focused more on promo (like the end “Summer Package” text).

Response: Jungkook does care about lyrics, and even with promo possibly being the main focus (which I do think it is a big part of it), I don’t think he will choose a song with the same name at random. However, it is possible he wanted to choose a song with the same name (promo, personal reason, who knows) and also thought the lyrics applied minimally (and liked it musically). As I said before, I am a big “lyrics can mean anything” person, so taking romantic lyrics and using them for platonic or other situations is something I can see happening. So yeah. This is definitely possible.

Counterclaim: Jimin is focused on for the bridge part because of the lyrics “I don’t wanna lie no more” tying to his “Lie” solo from Wings (my friend is the one who came up with this one)

Response: This one I find there is a low possibility of. Mostly because even if that was the case, why would Jimin dominate the entire bridge, including the other lyrics? Jungkook could have easily edited in other members, like the mixture he does for the verses and especially the choruses. Just put in a little shot of Jimin at the lie part and move on. So, this is unlikely (along with the fact that I really doubt Jungkook chooses songs and clips based on that) Which leads to the next counter:

Counterclaim: Jungkook very simply enjoys filming Jimin most, due to familiarity and Jimin being more comfortable with it. He’s at the bridges for content symmetry and also because there were simply more footage of him because of ease and accumulation. He sees Jimin as a very fun and goofy person, so he used the funny clips. There is no deeper meaning behind Jimin’s shots.

Response: Sure, I guess. This comes down to “how personal are the GCFs for Jungkook?”, which I would personally say very much so but I digress. They’ve already proven that Jungkook enjoys pointing the camera Jimin a lot in recent interviews (5th army mainly). I still think the most questionable parts of the video was how Jimin was singled out at the bridge parts and what the lyrics could possibly mean along with that, but I won’t rule this one out for the sake of accumulating other possibilities, no matter how much I believe in Jungkook’s artistic vision and my innate enjoyment in getting random meanings out of everything for fun. Again, platonic intention is possible to me. You may disagree, and that’s completely fine. I’m still neutral about this, because hey, anything is possible. So don’t get too carried away.

Counterclaim: So what about Osaka, if you consider the lyrics literally? Does that mean Taehyung, Jimin, and Junkook are in a love triangle?

Response: Honestly, I would like to do a personal analysis of Osaka in a separate post in the future (if I have time). Here’s a taste of what I think of it in a shorter answer to Osaka in general: it is actually possibly my favorite GCF, reasons being that I adore the the little no-music cuts Jungkook did, and also because Vmin is one of my favorite relationships in Bangtan. Due to sentimental reasons, Vmin has a very special place to my heart. Osaka feeds that part of my soul I suppose. Now, about the lyrics and the supposed love training happening, the thing is that Osaka is very different from Saipan in terms of use of perspective, use of cuts, screen time, etc. Personally, I see Osaka as a film about the maknae-line as a whole, with a smidgen of Jimin-bias. I don’t see the film about a love triangle, especially not a romantic one. Hope I can make a separate post detailing this.

Now that I’m done, I want people to not overthink it too much (unlike me). Of course, Saipan for me personally was just incredibly interesting because of how off and strange it felt to me in comparison to the other GCFs, but in regards to shipping, don’t invest too much emotionally. Enjoy what you get from all members, get attached to a pair maybe. But don’t let it completely take over your life. I like the speculative agnostic approach best (similar to my favorite blogger in regards to KM). Sure, Saipan had me go insane for two days straight out of the blue, but coming down from the insanity was a learning experience, especially returning to my neutral stance, which I enjoy greatly.

Making this more clear once again: this is not a post exposing Jungkook or anything. I do not claim any of this as his real thoughts. In fact, I don’t even believe any of what I’ve interpreted entirely. Those to me are “possibilities” to be thought, but not to be declared as truth. I think I’m probably wrong about a lot of this. Since again, why else do people still question what exactly Mona Lisa was smiling so mysteriously about? (she knows something we don’t, as the critics say).

If you want a more impartial opinion on GCF in Saipan, I recommend this director's outlook. I recommend using a non-biased mind to read this non-biased outlook. It is very interesting by itself as a professional's opinion. Please do not take the post as fodder for ships nor the definitive meaning of Saipan (if there even was one, who knows). We will never know for sure unless Jungkook ever decided to explain it if he wishes to. And if he never does, that’s fine too. Distinguishing what is reality, what is our reality, and what is someone else’s reality is extremely important.

Thanks for reading if you did! Hope it wasn’t the most awful thing ever. Tell me what you think about my interpretation, my opinions, counterarguments and counter-counterarguments. I do like KM as a ship now in some way, but again, all in good fun, and I don’t really want to give the relationship any labels. I don’t really want to take any of this too far other than a long rant to let out some parallel universe thoughts.

This was made also before I really got into any KM speculation, and it’s all very interesting. But I currently don’t really want to form a solid opinion on anything, or read too deeply. Maybe I will, one day. Or not. Since like I said, I’m not good at reading people.

It’s very likely no one will even see this, but as a personal record of my thoughts, it feels good to put them down.

💦 ☔💦

#mine #jikook

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cuddlefishcutie · 3 years

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thats good to hear. you know how it goes, there is something good in almost everything even though it looks like total crap at first. great idea! i love picnics! never tried shrooms though. i never wanted to try stuff which makes me see things, because i was psychotic for a while and that scared the shit out of me. wanna pick stars and give them crazy names? maybe we even get to see a ufo. what happened to your cheek? that is deserving of some pretty hello kitty bandaids.

I'm always such a negative person yet a positive one at the same time like I'm not even joking if a car broke down in the middle of nowhere no matter who all I'm with watch my tiny ass just be like "this sucks donkey dick...well...shit... we're FUCKED...but hey hey guys hey okay while we walk to get help let's see how many animals we can find or bugs *ends up listing off random useless facts about any little creature we see*" I can't even help it I have to find good in bad and bad in good constantly lol it's kinda fun and personally I've never really seen or heard anything while on shrooms I get the basics general trips the lights being pretty moon stars shining way more stairs are quite the challenge and make me laugh my ass off while saying "help hey no wait I can't walk down these dude hold my hand wait c'mon" and of course...carpet to linoleum...holy shit its so silly because I'm so self aware I know I'm just tripping so nothing is bad or scary or upsetting for me but I'm just like I can't do it lol it looks so hard so impossible and crazy in that moment I love it I'll end up falling or something and then laughing too hard not a damn thing brings me down so euphoric and everything about life love smiles happiness food walks runs swimming laying blankets lights on or off outside inside the wind rain sunshine or moonlight stars clouds road grass dirt sand just existence as a whole I get so...it's my reset button on my depression...I will end up the next morning for weeks happier and better eventually yes it gets hard again but then I just need someone there and some shrooms then we're off!!!!! I know some people have bad trips or really wild ones or just good ones but I'm just personally someone who basically I can enjoy my shrooms while babysitting others who need a babysitter while they're on shrooms lol like they should stick to the rule of you take a trip without leaving the farm but I oh I will walk to the store because shit just looks pretty to me and life is wonderful lol...I'd love to give stars crazy names especially while on shrooms just yes best time for name ideas and just any ideas spitball about it all tinfoil hat conversations!!!!!!! I so know I'd end up stressing that a star has to be named a name I pick because I feel it in my bones that it's named that lol like I'll get all serious then I'll smile and start to laugh I will not be able to help it dude if we see a UFO...imma nerd the fuck out lol I want to yes please my cheek ex boyfriend I'm moving out of his place and whatnot long story short he broke a window into my face...it hurts...no glass stuck in me didn't bleed long cleaning hurt them didn't want to but my dad made me lol they'll heal just fine I'm taking perfect care of them doesn't hurt anymore but it sucks oh well

Little edit because imma dork:

Hello Kitty bandaids would be great all over my face yes please thank you holy cow need

#personal #ask #asks #anon ask #anon #anonymously #anonymous #anon asks

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 years

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(1/2) Hey Steph! This is a long ask, so feel free to take your time answering as I love your insights! I have two Q's actually. 1. Was TAB supposed to be a standalone? I heard that they lied and something about how it was vital that they showed it before S4, but in hindsight (tinfoil hat aside), I don't see any connections between the two? 2. What were your initial thoughts on the "I Love you" trailer before S4? Ik many use this as proof for queerbaiting, but as a casual viewer then, I...

(2/2) thought y’ll were ridiculous for believing that it’s John when he was clearly in the background. Ofc after rewatching the series with an open mind, I became aware of my own prejudice and am all aboard the Johnlock train now. But I would imagine that as a shipper then, my hopes would be gone after seeing that, not fuel confidence like it did for some. Ik it’s done and we know who it’s to, but I’m interested in hearing the insights from a Johnlocker at that time. Thanks! :)

Hey Nonny!

Never a problem! I’ll try to answer as best I can!!

1. Ahhh, TAB is an episode I studied IMMENSELY. I love it so much. Mofftiss, before TAB aired, kept insisting that it was a standalone episode and had nothing to do with the current timelines. They also kept saying that “the time is right for us to do this” which had us believing that they were insistent in getting it out before S4, which is why a lot of us DIDN’T believe that the episode was standalone. Many thought it was important because it was foreshadowing the events to come and let us know what Sherlock knows and feels for John…. essentially, instead of trying to solve the mystery of Moriarty, he ended up rediscovering his own self, and finally learning to love and accept John into his life as an equal, not as someone he needs to protect and keep safe. The episode was a huge character-building episode for Sherlock specifically, and I personally think it’s one of the most important episodes of the series. Because “it’s all a dream”, it forces the audience to use metaphorical interpretations of Sherlock’s character and of the people around him, showing us what he knows and how to teach us to see below the surface and read the subtext.

Many people think that it is a “key” to understanding what the hell is going on in S4, and reveals to us that if something seems wrong in the Sherlock universe, then something most likely is. Some people have suggested that the “alternatively” that we have been flipped to in the opening credits is when a secondary timeline had started. I personally don’t think so, since so much character development happened on Sherlock’s part in TAB and to exclude it negates all that development he had. Plus everyone was very much in character, so I digress. I do believe, though, that Unreliable Narrator started in T6T’s D-Notice scene.

Regardless, TAB helps us understand how to read the subtext at a metaphorical level. So when we refer to “John’s TAB” we mean that John is also now having hallucinations of his own, and everything in TFP is all metaphorical like it was for Sherlock – Sherlock’s is Victorian and dramatic like him, and John’s is full of pop culture and horror tropes like the things he likes. In that sense, it makes TAB connected to S4, since it helps us uncover the subtext below.

Unfortunately, much of S4 is so inconsistent that I honestly have no idea how THAT season connects to the rest of the series, LOL. But if it is all a metaphorical season of a play-by-play of the events of the series so far, then I suppose it can work. It has been suggested that S4 is a "reverse" of the events that have happened so far, or a subtextual replay of the series. I can't find the post at the moment, but it's an interesting read.

2. Well, given what we thought was going to happen, and given the logical narrative next step in the chain, I as well initially thought it was finally Sherlock admitting his feelings, but upon sitting on it more, I then thought it was either blackmail and Sherlock was being forced to confess his feelings under duress, or it was a passcode. When Mark revealed that Sherlock was “speaking to a mirror”, I then thought it was going to be Molly, but it won’t be good. And lo and behold, what we got was the forced ILY that we did get, which was exactly an entire scene mirroring John, especially if it is in John’s head (she’s even wearing the same sweater that she wore when she was “being John” in TEH). It was baiting, though, especially since BBC themselves kept using it to boost the watch numbers (”who does Sherlock love?!?!!!111?”) and while I am glad that it wasn’t directed at John, I am horrified that it instead destroyed the character arc of Molly, who, in S3, “grew up” and it really seemed like she was done with Sherlock and finally understood he was gay and in love with John. The only way I can deal with it is with John’s POV / TAB reading of the episode: it's how John has always viewed Molly, and this is his projecting his own fears of Sherlock’s “reciprocation of feelings” – as in he fears Sherlock will only say it because it’s what John wants to hear, and not mean it. It’s a very powerful scene at the subtextual level, but on the surface level, it’s very misogynistic (ie. woman being used only as a throw-away plot device and hopelessly in love with the male lead) and terribly drags Molly’s character through the mud. It makes me sad that many cannot see it as such.

As I’ve said numerous times, I’m 50 / 50 on S4. I cannot logically take it at face value simply because of how inconsistent and fucky it all is, and my brain just cannot understand how we went from TAB to S4 without either something happening in the interim, or there being a bigger plan in play, ie. TJLC. I still firmly believe Johnlock is endgame, but I also accept the very likely possibility that the series is over – I have to remain a bit skeptical since I am a creature of logic and because of the “finale” feel of TFP (ie. no cliffhangers) and the post-season interviews with the actors makes me think that it’s likely that it’s not really coming back. But I remain hopeful… I have too much fun doing what I do, and I thoroughly enjoy making people feel better about the series again, as best as I can.

PHEW! Sorry, I ramble a lot; seeing as you are a new Johnlocker I assume you’re also new to my blog and therefore have just discovered how long winded my responses can get when I am passionate about a topic! That all said, thank YOU for allowing yourself to at least give us the benefit of the doubt and understand where we were coming from – it’s all most Johnlockers and TJLCers ever ask for, to be honest. We aren’t trying to convert people, we just want people to understand how narrative structure and tools work, such as mirrors and subtext. I mean, I’m tickled pink that you are all aboard with us, and I am happy that you just watched the episodes through new goggles. Here’s a fun game, Nonny: Now that you have Gay Goggles™, rewatch all the episodes again, and then ESPECIALLY DIE at TSo3 (my Johnlock Enlightenment Episode®) – you’ll be kicking yourself once you realize how close to the surface it really all was and – if indeed S4 is the final season – you’ll understand WHY we call it all queerbaiting. It’s not even subtle in S3 especially, but yeah, it fucking HURTS to see how much they love each other and how hard Mofftiss just keep making them stay apart. It’s REALLY apparent in S4, like it looks like they’re doing everything possible to keep John and Sherlock apart because Ben and Martin can’t fucking stop making Goo Goo eyes at each other, LOL.

Anyway, TL;DR: 1) Surface level, no, it doesn’t really connect except as the "what happened on the tarmac" filler episode, but subtextually it is the key to the series as a whole. 2) Yes, it was baiting of all kinds, hetero and queerbaiting… sadly a lot of The Others didn’t see how fake that whole scene was and how much it dragged Molly, and I feel sad for them, genuinely, because what kind of standards for relationships do they have if they thought that scene was real and genuine? Sherlock clearly didn’t want to do it because it wasn’t true, and he cares for Molly very much as a friend and didn't want to hurt her.

I hope I answered your questions alright! Cheers Nonny!

#steph replies #tales of johnlock enlightenment #tfp meta #steph's tinfoil hat #something's fucky #sherlock s4 meta #tab meta #my meta #my thoughts #tfp i love you #tab vs sherlock s4 #john's tab #s4 speculations #s4 shitposting #my ramblings #john vs molly #character analysis

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thedaywebuiltthefort-blog · 5 years

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A little update

I realise that I haven’t written anything for this blog for a while, although I have made numerous attempts over the past few weeks. There have been several times that I’ve sat at the keyboard willing myself to make words happen, but knowing that nothing will come.

In my last post, I talked about feeling depressed again, and I had hoped that by now, the episode would have finished, the mood would have lifted and everything would be business as usual. Unfortunately, however, this has not been the case.

Instead, it’s spent the last several weeks well and truly kicking my ass. It hasn’t gone and it doesn’t look like it’s going to go anytime soon, so instead, I am just going to have to deal with it as best I can until it eventually starts to dissipate.

My reluctance to write anything for the blog has been made up of several factors – firstly, I am very aware that writing or reading about this subject can be a trigger and honestly I didn’t know if it was going to make me feel better or worse. Secondly, I am exhausted, all of the time. I don’t just mean a little bit tired. I am talking about all-consuming, complete and utter energy drain. There have been days when I have been lying in bed, willing my body to move, to get up, do anything and it just won’t happen. Lastly, I always knew that if I was going to write about depression that I would want to be brutally candid about my own experiences. The last thing I want to do is upset anyone or worry anyone.

In the end though, I am hoping that by writing about the symptoms, the experiences and the journey that I have been on, it might help somebody who is or has gone through the same thing to feel a little less alone.

There is no way to tell how or why depression will hit, but for me, I feel like there have been a lot of things that have contributed to this particular episode being a bad one. I’ll talk about that first, just to try and give the situation a little context.

When I look back over the year that has just been, it feels like a hurricane has ripped right through my life. I can’t remember many other times when so much has happened so soon and in such quick succession. I lost my job and was unemployed for months; we hit the financial skids and barely made it out with a roof still over our heads. There were family issues, troubles we needed to overcome together and what felt like endless days of waiting for news – good or bad. There was the day we made the list. Months spent charging from one thing to another, fundraising, fighting, running hundreds of miles and constantly, constantly feeling like we were facing a tidal wave of crap that just never stopped coming.

The strange thing was, throughout all of that, I had never felt so sure of myself, so energised and so ready to take on the world. The best way that I can explain that last twelve months is that it has been like being in a high-speed car chase, only the car is being chased by a tsunami...and whilst you’re driving you’re having to fight off an angry bear...and the bear has a hammer...and you’re being shot at by snipers and you’re trying to avoid all the potholes in the road.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the brakes slam on and you’re thrown out of the car. You land in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere and where once there was chaos and noise, now there is nothing.

There is nothing.

No noise, no bright lights, nothing.

And you’re alone.

I had spent so much of the last year in fight mode that I had no idea what to do when suddenly, everything seemed to stop. Now don’t get me wrong, I am glad to see the back of a lot of the problems we’d been dealing with, but (and in the spirit of honesty and transparency) I wish I had been better prepared for what would happen when the dust settled.

So that’s how this thing all started. It has been one of the most drastic changes in outlook, mood, and circumstance that I have experienced probably in the last decade. My body and my mind just haven’t known how to deal with that. The list, which had been one of the most important factors in getting me through the last twelve months, got shelved.

I started to feel like I had let myself down, that I had given up on something that I had committed to. One low day turned into another and another. All the little parts of my life that I had been successfully juggling started to drop away.

Truth told, physically, I think Sweatember left me in worse shape than I was prepared to admit. I loved doing it and honestly, will probably do it again but I think doing that may have drained the last little bit of gung-ho spirit from my now somewhat flabbier muscles.

If I really push myself, I can get to the gym twice a week at the moment for a very light 40-minute session. My regime has not so much gone out of the window as it has packed its bags, left a note on the kitchen table telling me what a disappointment I am and caught the bus to the next town.

Strangely, this time I don’t think my confidence has gone down as much as it would normally – or at least – not in all aspects. I certainly don’t like myself very much at the moment, but I do at least feel capable in certain situations. My confidence in my writing has gone, as the current lack of it proves. My confidence in my ability to run the 2019 Manchester marathon is non-existent.

What is worse this time, however, is the paranoia.

Oh yes, it’s time to dust off the old tinfoil hat and sit in the corner. I am full on, borderline conspiracy theorist paranoid. Little things that my husband or friends say take on whole new and deranged meanings. Ask me if I forgot to put the washing on before I go to work and you might as well be accusing me of murder.

Every little whisper, every laugh, every hushed conversation becomes, in my foggy brain, about me and how much you hate me, about something I’ve done wrong or not done. I know that this is just my mind vomiting up poison into my brain hole but it doesn’t matter. I can’t stop myself from feeling like that. It makes socialising a little awkward.

Which explains why I’ve been avoiding socialising wherever possible – the idea of a night out or going round to a friend’s house has become like facing a mountain that I’m really not prepared to climb right now.

Anyway, I feel like I could go on but I have neither the energy nor the inclination. I’ll try and write again soon and share more of the journey, at whatever point I may be, the next time I’m able to sit down and get something on paper (or screen as the case may be).

In other news, Kyli recently brought a ukulele so I am expecting that her next blog post may be cheerier than this one. I still need to learn to yodel so a duet is definitely on the cards in the future.

Lastly, I’d like to just point out something really obvious – it’s Christmas.

For a lot of people, this time of year is about fun, festivities, and frolics.

For others, it’s a really difficult time. There are some who, unlike me, aren’t able to talk about the things that they are going through. There are some who are much worse off and it’s important to understand that no matter what the time of year, it is as they say, OK not to be OK.

Just as long as you keep on fighting.

Don’t give up.

You’re not crazy, you’re not a failure and you are so very much not alone.

I might have taken a few knocks, I might feel like I’ve had my back against the ropes a few times but the important thing is that I haven’t and will not hit that floor. It doesn’t matter how much of an ass kicking that life or depression wants to give us. The gloves stay on. It’s not over. We keep on going and we don’t stop until that bell rings.

Success is never final, failure is never fatal, courage always counts – John Wooden

#depression blogging itsokaynottobeokay mentalhealth journey experience

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vileart · 7 years

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Brexit - The Dramaturgy: Chris Bryant @ Edfringe 2017

Strong & Stable Productions presents:

Brexit - The Musical®

WORLD PREMIERE

EU lawyer Chris Bryant finds the solution to Brexit in a satirical musical comedy featuring BoJo and (possibly) a Plan.

Written by Chris Bryant

Directed by Bronagh Lagan

C Venues, C1, 2 – 28 Aug 2017 (not 15th), 18:55 (20.05)

A brand new all-singing, U-turning musical extravaganza, this political satire follows the omnishambles of Brexit from the early days of power grabbing following the EU referendum, through to our triggers, snaps and Junckers of the present day. What was the inspiration for this performance? Unsurprisingly, given the subject matter, the fallout from the Brexit referendum inspired this show. So much that happened in the first few weeks gave rise to comic potential, from Jeremy Corbyn having to cancel his trip to Glastonbury and Andrea Leadsom’s hapless entry into front-line politics through to the tinfoil hat UKIP conspiracies that MI5 was going to have a team of spies erasing their leave votes if they just used pencils! Also, in a therapeutic way, writing the show was a good way to use comedy and song to address some of the more serious and frustrating points – the endless lies, the lack of a plan. The initial concept of the show came very quickly – there is a plan for Brexit after all and our characters have to go on a mission to find it. This arose from a combination of things: the fact there clearly was no plan in real life, the disappearance of many of the key players from the coalface, the UKIP conspiracies on social media and message boards that it was all part of some great big conspiracy to keep us in Europe. From this I came up with the idea – what if I could write a show in which there is this great big conspiracy and we see all the comings and goings behind the scenes. From that, the plot took shape very quickly and the songs followed almost immediately. Brexit took over my life in so many ways in the last 2 years (by day, I’m an EU lawyer advising clients on it) and very quickly writing the musical became a form of therapy for dealing with what was happening! Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas? Absolutely, and the more novel the performance the better way of generating public discussion. For example, our aim is that a jaunty “11 o’clock number” like “Lies, Lies, Lies” in our show should get people reflecting on the repeated lies that politicians told during the referendum campaign far more effectively than a serious blog (of which there have been many) could. Using catchy rhyming couplets to highlight some of the points that were repeated as facts (it went way beyond the numbers on the bus!) will hopefully make those points more memorable and get people talking about them. If we achieve that, we’ve been successful! How did you become interested in making performance? I was brought up to love musicals and for the last few years have turned to writing them, more as a hobby than anything serious. By day, I’m an EU lawyer and have spent the last couple of years advising almost non-stop on Brexit. A flippant comment from a friend immediately after the referendum that I should write Brexit the Musical put the seed of the idea into my head and it spiralled from there. Within weeks, the show was taking shape, the first songs were written and I’d applied for a trademark for the name! Is there any particular approach to the making of the show? It was important for me that this was a full book musical with a plot and characters that the audience can care about, rather than simply a revue full of skits with obvious caricatures. I mapped out the book of the musical very carefully. From there the songs essentially fell into place and almost wrote themselves. Given the topicality of the subject matter, time was of the essence, so I had to use every possible moment to write – often setting myself tasks of writing the first draft of a verse to a particular song on my phone during tube journeys! The characterization was really important too. I was fascinated by the idea of having Boris Johnson seek his redemption for what he did in the referendum campaign, and centred the plot around this quest, tying it in with his search for the plan. It gives him and the show much more depth than simply being the standard almost cartoon-like buffoon. Does the show fit with your usual productions? Yes, although this is the first that I’ve actually put out there. In a musical, I think it’s essential to care about the key characters and this show is no different. What do you hope that the audience will experience? Most of all, fun! They should laugh, smile and come out of the show feeling positive and upbeat, even if only temporarily before they remember it’s fiction! The show also has a heart – the audience should really feel for Boris and get behind him on his quest! What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience? The audience will be immediately drawn into Boris’ quest to find the plan and share every step of the journey with him. From an early point, the audience knows what they’re in for with the show. Will he find the plan? If he does, what is it? Everything in the show takes us along this journey. For the political geeks out there, there are alternative explanations all the way through for why certain events occurred. Where was George Osborne when he disappeared from the public eye for days after the referendum? Why did Boris decide not to stand for Prime Minister? Why did the government appeal Gina Miller’s case to the Supreme Court when they were so clearly going to lose? Writer Chris Bryant is a lawyer advising clients on the potential fallout of Brexit. Now he’s written a musical about it. Brexit – The Musical® lifts the lid on the (potentially) real story of what’s been going behind the scenes in Westminster since the EU referendum. Somewhere out there, there’s a plan for Brexit. There’s just one small hitch – its writer has amnesia and no-one else knows where it is. But there’s a copy out there and it’s up to our hero, Boris Johnson, to find it. Devastated by his monumental cock-up of actually winning the referendum, finding the plan is the only way for Boris to gain redemption and save the nation from Brexit. Ably assisted by his sidekick, Govey, our hero’s mission brings him into contact with many colourful characters – recently retired Dave and Sam, ambitious Andrea, depressed Jeremy and the strong & stable wannabe dictator, Theresa. Can they find the plan before it’s too late? With original songs and book by Chris Bryant, and featuring a full professional cast and live band, Brexit – The Musical takes C Venues on a quest to find out what Brexit really means. Chris Bryant said, “Everyone reacted to the Brexit referendum in different ways. For me, the most obvious response was to write a musical about it. As a lawyer specialising in this area, Brexit has been a huge part of my life over the last 2 years. There was something quite therapeutic about then being able to turn it into song! With everything that’s happened, it was just screaming out for a bit of musical theatre treatment!” Lawyer & (now) musical theatre writer Chris Bryant is a partner in the Antitrust & Competition team based in Berwin Leighton Paisner’s London and Brussels offices. He specialises in EU law and has been advising extensively on Brexit ever since the prospect of a referendum was first raised. For his full legal biography, please visit: http://ift.tt/2sk0mEY; @brexitmusical | #BrexitMusical | http://ift.tt/2rKGzBB Running Time: 70 minutes | Suitable for ages 12+ Company Information Written by Chris Bryant Directed by Bronagh Lagan General Management by Theatrical Management Solutions from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2sjRwXI

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