ivy-ravenna

[ivy-ravenna]

If you nourished your sexual life with all the excitements and adventures which love injects into sensuality, you would be the most potent man in the world.

The source of sexual power is curiosity, passion. Sex does not thrive on monotony. Without feeling, inventions, moods, there are no surprises in bed.

Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all the spices of fear, foreign travel, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, wine.

-Anaïs Nin

#writing #sex #wild love #love #anaïs nin #erotica #passion #passionwriting #light academia #romantic academia #dark academia

[ivy-ravenna]

don't pretend that i'm the instigator, you are the one, but you were born to say goodbye; kissed me half a decade later – that same perfume, those same sad eyes…

#lyrics #finneas #wild love #heartbreak #love quotes #songs #light academia #dark academia #romantic academia

[ivy-ravenna]

Yet for a not altogether explained second, posing perversely in time, his emotion had been nearer to adoration than in the deepest kiss he had ever known.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

#love magic #lovestories #wild love #writing #wordsnquotes #culture #wordstoliveby #poetry #books and libraries #love #art #francis scott fitzgerald #classics #dark academia #light academia #chaotic academia #art academia

[ivy-ravenna]

Isn't it sad how we can lose moments, just like that? I don't remember you the way I should.

Some of it, I'm sure I've suppressed, but most of the things I've forgotten about us should still be there. They weren't painful or embarassing, so there's nothing I need to protect myself from.

Maybe the memory of us has just been discarded, deemed unimportant and shoved aside. I would be okay with that but-

She remembers oh-so clearly and I hate that the only thing I can contribute to her stories is I don't know. I hate that she remembers while I don't. It makes me feel like she's wearing a burden that I should be carrying.

I want to help her carry, but how do I get back something I've lost so slowly, subtly over time? Something I didn't even know was gone until she reminded me that it was.

#writing #writer #wordsnquotes #culture #wordstoliveby #books and libraries #original prose #art #dark academia #light academia

[ivy-ravenna]

I abandoned the future before we began - and after that I lived in a present where time was meaningless, a private world of ours.

– T. S. Eliot

#quotes #love quotes #love the writing hate the author #beautiful words #love affair #the cocktail party #spiritualism #interesting #past present future #t s eliot #dark academia #light academia

[ivy-ravenna]

–damn it! i can't. i can't!

–hey. calm down. i wasn't gonna do anything.

–but i was!

–but you didn't.

–i almost did.

–but you didn't.

–but i wanted to.

–so?

–so? so?! seriously? do you even care? do you-

–i understand your situation perfectly. i also understand why you're upset. i just believe that you shouldn't be. there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want.

–nothing's wrong with wanting to hurt someone who's been nothing but sweet and funny and perfect to me?

–you don't want to hurt her. you just wanna kiss me.

–that's the same friggin thing!

–no it's not. look at me. listen. it's not. yeah, she might actually be the perfect partner for you. she can probably give you everything from security to comfort to even the occasional daze of excitement, but she will never set your skin on fire. she can't. she's too much like you. too much part of your heart and in your head. she is your best friend in the whole wide world and she might be able to give you 90% of everything you need- but the rest- the rest is something she could only give you if she ceased to be your friend. it's making you doubt yourself, her love, your ability to love, the past the future and everything in between. it's making you wonder how you can breathe without her. making every single touch seem like possible total destruction. this ever-changing part of love dies with security and safety and repetiton. but just because something's gone doesn't mean we can no longer crave it. and we will. we do. you do.

–what we have is so special. i don't take her for granted. never have.

–of course you don't. but you can tell me, with certainty, that you believe she loves you, right?

–yes.

–you're also convinced that she wouldn't risk what the two of you have and that she prefers your company to everybody else's. and the same goes for you.

–no.

–what?

–i mean, yes. yes to her. but i-

–feel magnetically drawn to this. to the missing ten percent. i know.

–but there shouldn't be anything missing! we've got a healthy sex life. we're happy. and i'm just a complete idiot for wanting to risk that.

–you don't want to risk anything. what you want is to feel that high again. you want your skin to tingle at the possibility of rejection. you want uncertainty. the ancipatory dopamine rush of a prospective conquest-

–again, same thing.

–no! you don't understand. you've got to forget what you've learned, what you think you know. love and companionship- they were never supposed to be the same thing! romance isn't built for forever, not between two people. adrenaline and tranquility cancel each other out. the person who gives you one usually, in 99% of all cases, can't give you the other, too.

–i thought she did.

–oh, i'm sure she did. at first, we all do. but as the familiarity grows, the fire fades. and you two might still be burning, but it can't be with the same intensity you had at the beginning. love doesn't work like that.

–so what's your solution? choose one and forget about the other for the rest of my life?

–that's one possibility. yes.

–and the other?

–the other's- finding two people to give you two different things.

–let's say i've found them. now what?

–you make room. and you start by telling her what you want.

–she'd never agree to anything like this.

–she did at one point, didn't she?

–we can't go backwards.

–it's not backwards, it's an entirely new direction.

–why should she agree to this? what's in it for her?

–the possibility to find what you've found?

–she wouldn't wanna go around trying out different men.

–and you don't wanna try out different girls. just the one.

–this is insane.

–actually, according to the majority of the phsychological community, this is the sanest thing any human being can do.

–

–

–show me.

–what?

–show me the kind of love you believe in. it's obvious that you've thought about this a great deal and you know exactly how you'd figure it into your life. i don't know if it could ever fit in mine, but i'd like to try.

#love stories #love story #romance #writer #culture #character dialogue #dialovers #writing dialogue #original story #original prose #friends with benefits #friendships #dark academia #light academia #fall lover #fall leaves #cozy aesthetic #scenic

[ivy-ravenna]

The world’s law was no law for her mind.

–Nathaniel Hawthorne

#inspiring quotes #quotes #writing #nathaniel hawthorne #dark academia #light academia #books and libraries #booksbooksbooks #beautiful quote

[ivy-ravenna]

–it's not about me. if i act on caprice and intuition alone, it's not gonna have any consequences. i've got nothing to lose in this game. but your stakes are way higher. you're about to risk genuine happiness for a bit of adrenalin.

–shit. how can something that's supposed to be void or at the very least dreadful feel so completely not wrong at all?

–cause feelings are never wrong. they evade our minds. won't let themselves be rationalized, controlled or targeted. so they're always genuine.

–

–

–i love her.

–i know. that's why i stopped this. because you and i will very likely never love each other. this is something much more delicate and, i think, because of that, much more alluring and exciting.

–i want both.

–and, theoretically, you could have it. no one would ever have to know. but you would. and it'd kill you, i know that. you're a 100% kinda guy.

–what if 100% is the both of you?

–then you can either try to change the rules, or choose to break them.

–

–

–permission or forgiveness?

–nostalgia.

#writing #writer #original prose #original story #love stories #wild love #character dialogue #art #dark acadamia aesthetic #darkness #dark academia #modern love

[ivy-ravenna]

It had lately occured to her that her mind was a good deal of a vagabond.

-Henry James

#wordsnquotes #quotes #literature #wild girl #henry james #culture #books and libraries #art #protagonist #vagabond #bookworm

[ivy-ravenna]

–hey, hey. i've got a girlfriend so watch out, missy.

–and i've got a black widow spider in my living room.

–funny.

–if blowing a kiss in your direction is cheating, no one's ever been faithful in this world. even flirting's more cheaty than that.

–really? you think?

–sure. cheating starts in your mind. it's not so much about the flirting, but about the why you want to. if it's just some base, animalistic attraction instinct, there's nothing to it. but when there's desire attached to that attraction-

anyway, as long as that's not the case, it's completely irrelevant. trust me, honey, you're safe.

–so if someone just kissed me, out of the blue, it wouldn't be cheating?

–no.

–but what if I didn't push off or pull back, but let it happen?

–even if you actively participated- to me, it's only cheating if you want to kiss that person too. and not because they're hot or attractive, but because you're drawn to who they are.

–

–

–it's getting late. i should get going.

–it's always late. but you're not usually running.

–i'm not-

#writing #writer #original prose #love stories #friends with benefits #friends with secrets #wordsnquotes #character dialogue #short story

[ivy-ravenna]

He felt the need of something which he could attach his floating heart to.

– Virginia Woolf, Orlando

#writing #writer #culture #wordsnquotes #wordstoliveby #books and libraries #art #virginia woolf #orlando #dark academia #love

[ivy-ravenna]

charms

this unattached devotion

gives you glimpses of my melancholy

reveals bits and pieces of your pain

leaves me touch-starved for your caprice

i'm the fuel on your idealism

still flowing on your ocean

but after all these years my flower frame's been carried away by the ripples and the breeze

i know you need my intensity

you're dancing in my clouds

marveling at, hiding from, skipping between, tornadoes, rain and electricity

i didn't while you did and now you can't so i do because you don't

i pour the poison in my cadence and stir the potion

i only like you unavailable

so i tempt and tease and wait for you to betray yourself in your eyes

will i feel anything if you do?

#femme fatale #wild side #intensity #writing #original poetry #poetry #wordsnquotes #toxic #charm #witchy #water #ocean #ophelia #air

[ivy-ravenna]

She was incomprehensible, for, in her, soul and spirit were one–the beauty of her body was the essence of her soul.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

#writing #writer #wordsnquotes #wordstoliveby #culture #books and libraries #booksbooksbooks #f. scott fitzgerald #quotes #dark academia #beautiful words #art #love

[ivy-ravenna]

soul familiars

I've been looking for a word, a concept to describe us but I can't find anything that fits. The term soulmates is so laden with romantic meaning, but this has never been romantic. It's intense and it seems to draw our lives back together again and again and again regardless of how much time passes in between. But we're not meant to be lovers, never were. We're meant to be wild together. To encourage each other's dreams and idealism and utopias. We both want to be one in a million and won't settle for less. We're both restless, but in very different ways. That's where the familiarity comes from. That's what our souls recognize in each other.

But it's really not so much about what we are as about what happens when we meet at a new intersection. I tend to dull my senses, voluntarily, cause it's easier not to operate with my feelings at full intensity. But then we meet, and we go down the rabbit hole, to the bridge between us, and it's so far that I'm forced to break the levee. So for a little while after, I always exist at full exposure. It's painful and nerve wrecking and utterly exhausting, but it makes me feel tremendously alive, as Fitzgerald would say.

#writing #writer #wordstoliveby #original prose #soul familiars #friendships #strange magic #cities #nightsky #stars #late night #experience

[ivy-ravenna]

There is no knowing what an interesting woman might do with me.

-Lord Warburton, Portrait of a Lady

#wordsnquotes #wordstoliveby #writer #culture #books and libraries #art #quotes #inspiration

[ivy-ravenna]

Cello

I see me through your eyes. It's not so much about what you see, but about what you don't. And about me, encouraging your ellipses. Is that really what I want? To be sweet and dark and flawless through your filter, to find out what I could be if I was solely the best parts of myself?

You've got the ruffled curls and the open coat waves and you brought your cello to the party. I wonder if it was a past or future necessity that made you stand out on arrival, because I can tell, painfully clearly, that you're not in the habit of making a spectacle of yourself.

When I look at you, I wanna see your charm and fear and dark academia, but all I see is me. Me in your pitch pupils, me in the way you run your hands through your hair and nervously put them to rest in your pockets. Me in the way you try to stay close as we play social, but never say a single word with your eyes on mine. I hear me in the way you talk, too. You chime in with pieces of yourself that complement the ones I choose to reveal in my speech. Your tone shifts closer and closer to mine and we meet on a common frequency.

I answer. I keep looking over, looking for the you behind the glass, asking to see who you are when you're not trying to impress me. But you refuse to shed any of your layers. So I keep showing and you keep wanting and if you'd only produced so much as a single independent syllable, I'd have turned your nothing into everything. I'd have smashed the glass with a fingertip and put you back together with my lips. But you never did.

So now you're looking for me. I think I like you a little less because you didn't assume, didn't initiate, didn't dare. How could you look so wild love and act so vanilla? If you only ever put the bow to your strings with tenderness, how do you startle, surprise, awaken?

I guess you don't. I'm beginning to think that you don't understand the world yet. If you knew what I know, you wouldn't be wasting moments like that.

You're not ready. That's why you left the wood and strings and wax on the elevator, but forgot to stay.

Keep looking, lover. Maybe, someday, you'll find me. Maybe, by the time you do, you'll have found yourself.

#writing #original prose #original story #storyteller #writer #love stories #love story #wild love #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark academia #aestheticism #culture #love #friends with secrets #meeting #cellolove #elevator #party #short story #art #booklover #dream to story #poetry prose

[ivy-ravenna]

There's an indentation in the shape of you

-Dress

#taylor swift #lyrics #friends with benefits #friends with secrets #love affair #wild love #wordsnquotes #music #songs #dark academia