simplezllenial

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Guess who’s back to step 4 :D .

But more seriously, for 2024 the thing i’m gonna try to work on is putting myself out there. I’ve realized a link between one particular evening from my childhood and my unwillingness to put myself out there.

The first step will be to start therapy

I will reblog this post when I have an update for you guys.

My never ending cycle about going back to dating after 10 years :

1 - Feel ready to meet new people

2 - Install a dating app

3 - Get scared of commitment because of trauma

4 - delete said app and wait another year

5 - Go back to step 1

I think it might be because of the adhd scare of just another hyperfocus

#relatable #dating #tinder #therapy #going out #single #celibacy #relationship #trauma healing

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Neurotypicals : “oh adhd must not be that bad”

Me : “i couldn’t be bother to eat today and I just stood up for the first time in hours and might pass out from hypoglycaemia from the lacks of carbs”

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #adhd life #adhd meds #hyperfocus #undiagnosed adhd #neurodivergent #neurotypical #memes #relatable

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In 2022, I got my ADHD diagnostic at 27 years old and in one year on being medicated I was able to :

have better performance at work and offered a promotion;

be able to do groceries the day I wanna do it;

stay focus on a lots more task;

stay focus when talking to people;

easily start new tasks;

Starting new hobbies that aren't a hyperfocus;

Rebuild the stairs of my deck without getting distracted every 3 seconds by the moving shadows of trees;

Grow confidence to get a cat;

I was 14 years old when the first iPhone was announced. I have lived without the internet for a good part of my childhood. I know how to take care of myself without them and yet my ability to focus without my meds is extremely bad.

During school, the teacher's notes in my exams and grade papers were always : "Have the capacity to do better" / "Could put more effort". I knew deep down that I was better than just the passing grade but still I wasn't able to care more.

Do you know how it feels to be so bored that it physically hurts every day?

Do you know how it feels to fight your brain to not analyze and create a list of step for everything that you do?

Do you know how it feels to lose your wallet/keys for the 10th time in the last hour while you had to get going 20 minutes ago?

Do you know how it feels when you start a conversation with someone and then get immediately bored of the subject and have to force yourself to stay in the subject, awake and not yawn?

Do you know how bad it feels to make someone repeat something to then understand mid sentence what they were asking and then cut them to tell them their answer?

Do you know what it's like when you're in the middle of something and then you get the impossible to ignore urge to get up and do the thousand steps around your house because it's 100 times more stimulating that what ever you were doing (even if you were playing video games)?

Like yeah, I've learnt over the years some trick to manage some of the symptoms without the meds, because I am a human and we adapts to our environment.

Since I got into medication, I realized that it's true that neurotypicals can just tell themselves the gonna do a thing and get up and do it without having and internal world war with their brain about the different steps it takes to do it.

So yes Mr. I'm too afraid to get out of the closet Walsh, I have ADHD, medication helps, you're right, drugs doesn't fix my disorder, but it makes life so gosh darn easier and it made me grow as a man and a human, unlike you, who is still stuck in 1986/1993/2014 :).

Anyway, gotta go finish painting my deck. Lot more productive than to be chronically online on twitter all day :) .

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd life #adhd meds #hyperfocus #school #struggle #matt walsh #distraction #growing #growin’ up #childhood #adhd child

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I’ve been watching the trial of Taylor Schabusiness and whenever they bring in a new witness they always have to do the right hand symbolism thingny and it always makes me think that if I ever have to stand as a witness in a trial and since I’m left handed, imma swear the oath with my right hand that I use to wipe my ass and I find that extremely funny.

Get fuck catholicism institution and your fear of the left hand :)

#left handed problems #left handed #trial #justice #symbolism #right hand #catholicism #catholicism symbolism #witness #witness list #adhd brain #shower thoughts

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Armchair developers when they see a feature that seems small where they say that it would be easy for them to implement.

In reality, that one simple feature took 6h to implement, made a 20 files commit and 10 new unit tests

And it doesn’t work the same way on the server.

That’s why it can take up to 3 days to add a new table sometimes :).

#just ranting #developer #armchair #armchair dev #programming #git #github #bug #scenario #unit testing #works on my machine #debugging

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Man what’s happening with the internet since 2020? From Twitter becoming an even bigger angrycest pool (like it’s even more pushed by the algorithm from what I’ve heard) to imgur banning porn and now reddit going after third party software for API usages.

The internet really has gone to shit since the day that one dude created pop ups in the early 00s I telling ya.

#internet #reddit #twitter #imgur #api #pop ups #what is happening

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The amount of time it takes to do my morning routine is synced with the amount of time it takes for my coffee machine to finish brewing.

Which is an accidental task/reward system that works super well.

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #adhd life #morning routine #reward system #chores #coffee #coffee machine

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Took my meds on a sunday morning and 8h later, 3 full rework later, the non spaghetti conveyors for my iron processing units

Gosh that game is so much fun.

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #adhd life #adhd meds #hyperfocus #satisfactory #gaming #conveyor belts #spagehetti

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So with 155k public sector worker son strike in Canada, I just want to tell you that 13.5% wage increase is not unreasonable.

Stop this useless infighting. From lower to upper middle class, we’re all the same. The elite ultra rich are the enemies.

The difference between 1M$ and 1B$? About 1B$.

The difference between 100M$ and 1B$? About 1B$

The sooner you understand that, the sooner we can make life for the average people better.

#strike #canada #public service worker #public servant #middle class #upper middle class #lower class #rich #elite #one million dollars #one billion dollars #solidarity #labor unions #unions

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Crazy how my mood improved since spring started. Gosh I love the sun so gosh darn much!

The production of D is just amazing.

#sun #beautiful day #vitamins d #spring #mentel health #good mood

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When I say that I listen music all the time, I mean it. Even when I’m not listening to music, I’m still listening to it. My brain is just a non-stop radio.

And it’s not just remembering the lyrics, I legit hear the song in my mind. Extremely weird to explain.

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #adhd life #undiagnosed adhd #music #innervoice #brain radio #music in my head

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I think the documentaries aboyt the 2012 apocalypse played a huge part into normalizing dumb fear mongering conspiracies in todays media

#adhd thoughts #thoughts #shower thoughts #mayan calendar #apocalypse #documentary #documentaries #humor #meme #2012 #conspiracy #im high

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Hahahah, don’t do it kids, take the 0, not worth it. Enjoy the break :). The worst that can happen is a homework detention.

Break the systems, they try to teach you to be obedient workers.

From a former undiagnosed adhd highschool student.

#adhd #adhd life #homework #school #high school #former student #fuck homework #spring break #enjoy life kids #boring teachers #teenagers

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My never ending cycle about going back to dating after 10 years :

1 - Feel ready to meet new people

2 - Install a dating app

3 - Get scared of commitment because of trauma

4 - delete said app and wait another year

5 - Go back to step 1

I think it might be because of the adhd scare of just another hyperfocus

#dating #commitment #new people #relationship #dating apps #adhd #hyperfocus #adhd adult #adhd life #adhd brain

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My constant battle with my meds is me wanting to take them because I feel less anxious and much better throughout the day but I also want to smoke weed without the risk of a psychosis attack.

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #undiagnosed adhd #adhd medication #adhd meds #weed #dont mix weed with adhd meds

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Went to get my eyes checked today and get a new frames because mines are broken on both side and i need tape and a toque to keep them on a secure position. But all the weight is on the nose now so its been extremely annoying and makes thing more frustrating.

My glasses frame has been broken since december last year and there was only spot available in February so two months with this and they told me that my new glasses will be ready in 2-3 weeks….

Hoping that the rush invoice the cashier put will make that a week cause i can’t 🫠🫠🫠.

Also this shit is crazy expensive.

#glasses #new glasses #broken frames #long wait #wait times

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Congratulations Netflix, you made me reevaluate my subscriptions and decided to also cancel my Spotify membership and switch to Youtube Prenium. Saving a total of 25$ a month and I can watch youtube video on my tv without ads.

Still imma miss some of my playlists but everything can be remade !

The only good thing about the new netflix policy is that Imma save close to 30$/month but it is sad that I have to cut it off to family members.

Can’t win in this system I guess. Thanks capitalist boomers. Hope they crash like blockbuster! :D

#netflix password sharing #netflix cancellation #netflix #spotify #youtube #youtube premium #savings #budget