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psychewithwings · 3 years

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Bitter Taste: Iwaizumi x f/reader Pt. 1

pt. 2 here

THIS IS SO LATE and I’m a fuck up hahahaha (kinda ironic this was 2 weeks late for Mental Health Awareness month)

I am crediting my girl @kuso-deku for giving me Iwaizumi brain rot to begin with. I am also crediting @gixxie and @idonotagreebitch for helping me talk through my ideas... and crediting @doinmybesthere for the wonderful idea of a mental health awareness collaboration the link is here. PLS READ THE REST OF THE WORKS. Everyone deserves the love.

TW: manipulative male/female relationships, gaslighting?, subtle shit head crap that most men do (don’t worry Iwa is a peach as always tho, it’s Ushijima that’s the problem)

Iwaizumi stands and stretches in the cinema. The movie had been good, but long, he figured it was a little after midnight. “What’d ya think?” Kuroo asks as they exit the theatre. “I hated the ending…” Oikawa gripes, “I hate endings where everyone just dies.” “You are such a princess Tooru, I swear, it’s a metaphorical ending… did you not catch all the symbolism in the opening credits?” Iwaizumi sighs and turns his phone back on, trying his best to ignore their bickering. Slowly, notification after notification pops up… all from you. He blinks, surprised. You had declined his offer to join him for the film, stating you had previous plans attending a close friend’s birthday.

Iwa opens the messages from you. He sees first the selfies. You look beautiful, extravagant even. Your dress is beautiful, it compliments your figure perfectly with the corseted bodice. It’s white and so is your lace mask. Broad, feathered angel wings rest on your back. Angelic would have been a word he’d used to describe you before, but now, it was confirmed. He wants to keep staring at the photos but Kuroo and Oikawa are starting to become too curious about the contents of his phone. He scrolls and relaxes his face to look more casual. But it’s hard when your intoxicated messages are so darn cute.

hope the movie is good!

okay so I guess there’s an open bar? Is it my birthday too?

if you wanna come by after the movie I’msure you coul

this partyyyy suckssssssss assssssssss

wish id gon wiht u xx

You are clearly drunk and he laughs to himself before Kuroo peers over his right shoulder. “Well she’s thinking about you at least,” he smirks. Oikawa peers over Iwaizumi’s left shoulder, “ooo play the voice message.” Oikawa taps the message before Iwaizumi can give him an answer.

“Hiiiii Iwaaaaaa, hope you like the moovie and you’re having a good time, cuz I’m having a preetyy good time, they gots free margaritaaass. Okay byeeeee”

The guys laugh and Oikawa presses the next one.

“Hey Iwaaa, I made up a song about you, ready?

Iwaizumi

Doesn’t know what he does- to me…

Sshfhsijknfhahaha I cant remember the rest som’n bout… som’n I dunno. Byeee”

“Okay, Ushi says that I need to say sorry for sending so many…” you pause and then whisper, “drunk messages, but I’as only tellin’ ya I ssink ‘r awesome ‘n you should totally come to this party and hang out with me… you’re awesome, okay byeee”

Oikawa and Kuroo pause and look at Iwaizumi. “Ushi?” Oikawa asks, “like Ushiwaka?” Oikawa’s eyes are narrowed and he gags dramatically in disgust. Iwaizumi nods and walks to exit the theatre. “Wait… that’s her friend who’s having the birthday party?” Iwa grimaces as Kuroo chuckles. “No wonder you’ve had a stick up your ass all night.” Iwa glares at him, “they’re just friends… apparently… I don’t know, she said they’ve known each other for a really long time…” Kuroo claps Iwaizumi on the back. “I think you should definitely go to the party.” Iwaizumi starts to object but the ring of his phone draws attention, and he answers it. “Heyyy you're outta th’moviee, heheeheheha,” you slur. Iwaizumi laughs softly and smiles, “yeah, I’m out of the movie now, are you… good?” There is so much background noise, it almost drowns out your sweet sleepy voice. “I’m soooo good… … I just-” he can hear your voice drop to a drunken whisper. “I’z just hoping to see you today,” you mumble finally.

Iwaizumi can feel his heartbeat quicken, his head reeling. “Oh really?” He plays cool but then instantly regrets it when you give him a serious answer. “Yeah, I was really hoping you’d come to the party, even for just a little,” you murmur. Iwaizumi can’t help but chuckle. You were pretty cute like this, not normally so transparent. You were actually quite hard to read, so sweet but guarded and teasing too. You were a friend of Oikawa’s first and he had met you through him. He’d liked the way you sat cross legged on the couch smiling, chin in your hands while you asked questions and listened to his answers. Your eyes sparkle when you hear something you like, and your face lights up when you talk about things you find interesting.

“Ya don’t have to, I can just see ya another time,” you add. He’s been silent too long which causes him to speak without thinking. “No, I’d love to see you, I’ll head to you now.” Kuroo and Oikawa are silently cheering him on and Iwa turns away in embarrassment. “Really? Okay! I’ll drop my pin… as the kids are sayin’ these days hahaha.” “See you soon, drink some water okay?” “Mhm, I will, see ya soon!”

You were at a club owned by Ushijima’s family. A place called ‘Eagle’s Nest’. He’d only known you for a few weeks but he couldn’t help his infatuation. It was immediate, the night he had gone to Oikawas for game night. You spoke to him so easily not knowing him at all and laughed at his little side jabs to his long time friend. The way you looked at him… Iwa knew then that he wanted to see you smile, hear your laugh, and that he would be happy to assume the responsibility of making that happen.

He was surprised when you had declined his offer for the movie, feeling that you both had some definite chemistry, but Iwaizumi was even more surprised when you had said that you had prior plans with his old time rival Ushijima Wakatoshi. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him since high school but they knew a few people in common, Oikawa being one of those people. Oikawa could sure hold a grudge but Iwaizumi took all of his comments with a grain of salt. Ushijima often came off entitled and cold, which would leave Iwaizumi with a bad taste in his mouth. Maybe Oikawa had the right idea holding a grudge… But grudge or not he wanted to see you, hear your voice and admire you all dolled up.

When Iwaizumi arrives at the club he is met with a large security guard. “Invitation?” he grumbles. Iwa remains calm but a small trickle of fear runs down his back. Iwaizumi gives the guard a casual smile before he starts to answer but he is interrupted. “Iwaaaaa,” you cry from the top of the stairs. The mask you’d had on is now resting on top of your head, the delicate features of your face now exposed. The floofy skirt of your dress bounces with your excitement as you run down the stairs. You crash into him, throwing your arms around his neck. You bury your face in his collar and still momentarily. Drunk and bubbly, you melt when Iwa wraps his arms around your waist in return, avoiding your costume’s wings. “Mmmm,” you hum, breath hot against his skin, “you smell good.” You pull back and stare into his wide eyes. “You look incredible,” he offers, a slight pink tint to his cheeks. You grin in return and simply take hold of his hand. “He’s with me,” you beam at the guard. Iwaizumi is doubtful this trick will work here. But he is surprised when the guard steps aside saying, “as you wish Miss L/N.” You giggle and pull Iwa towards the doors. “I’ll bring you some cake later, okay Jurou?” Jurou laughs, “just have fun darlin’.” “You’re the best,” you call behind you as you push open the doors. Iwaizumi can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy knowing that you are on a first name basis with one of the body guards at the Wakatoshi’s club. How close were you with Ushijima?

Blue and purple lights illuminate the vast space while black tiles make up the main floor. The dance floor is sunken, in the middle of the club with a small set of stairs leading down to it. It’s made entirely of glass, beneath is a saltwater garden of different plants and coral.

“You’ll need one of these,” you explain, swiping a simple black mask from the welcome table. You hand it over to him and pull yours down over your eyes. Iwaizumi adjusts it to where he can see. “You look so handsome,” you admire. He grins, “what about you? You’ve got wings!” You laugh and adjust your mask back on top of your forehead. “I’m a swan, and Ushi said I couldn’t be a swan without wings!” You spin for him, trying your best to flap the feathered wings. Small pieces of confetti glitter rain from the skirt of your dress. Iwaizumi takes in your face illuminated by the lights of the club. Blue and pink dancing over your cheeks as you smile up at him. “What?” you giggle nervously. Just a few weeks but he is mesmerised by your everything. He shakes his head and tries to move on. He wanted to tell you how he felt but this wasn’t the right time. It should be when you’re sober, when you can take in his words properly.

You coax him down towards the bar. “You’re sure it’s okay to sneak in uninvited guests?” Iwa questions. “Well, I asked Ushi ‘nd he said it was okay, so yeah!” You grin but notice Iwaizumi’s reserve. “It’s really okay, I promise, let’s just get a drink,” you suggest and take his hand. “Only if you drink more water,” he smirks. You roll your eyes at Iwa, “I drank some water before you got here actually.” You look back at him as you both head down to the bar. “I’ll prolly regret that yurr seeing me like this tamorow, ya know,” you call over the blaring music. “It’s cute, you’re cute,” he assures as he leans against the bar, “I didn’t know you thought about me this much until I saw all the snapchats and voice messages and texts.” You cover your face in humiliation, “I knowww, I’m sorry but you were on my mind a lot, alot alot, and couldn’t stop think about ya, and the booze told me to keep on messaging…” You trail off, finding the last shred of your filter to keep you from talking. The bartender hands you your water and you take a long drink.

“Iwaizumi,” a voice projects over the baseline. Ushijima stands tall advancing towards where you both stand. His expression is neutral though, his eyes keep darting to you and then back to Iwaizumi. Ushijima is dressed as a knight, his silver mask hangs languidly around his neck. “Ushiwaka,” Iwa acknowledges, “this is a hell of a birthday party.” You giggle and point at Ushiwaka, “he’s 28 today; getting sooo old.” In that moment, Iwaizumi watches him do something he had never seen him do before. Smile… and then laugh. Ushijima wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. “You’re just a baby, you’re only-” You wave your hand in front of Ushiwaka’s face, shushing him. “No, no, Iwa doesn’t knowww, don’t tell him,” you plead. “She’s only 23,” Ushiwaka says. You hold your face in your hands once more and groan. Ushijima pulls your hands from your face, “just barely twenty three too.” You glare at him and look back at Iwaizumi embarrassed. “Did she not tell you her age?” Ushijima asks Iwaizumi. Iwa shrugs, “She didn’t, but I never asked,” Iwa shrugs casually, addressing you now, “didn’t seem important since you carry yourself so well.”

You turn to Iwa, mouth open like you’re about to respond but Ushijima swipes the glass from your hands before you can finish. “Drinking water?” You look up at him. “But it’s my birthday… and this is a party… you need something stronger…” Ushijima beacons the bartender with a single flick of his hand. The barman pours three double shots of a clear liquid from a foreign looking bottle. Ushijima takes a glass and hands it to you, before handing another to Iwaizumi. Ushijima gives him a wink as he loops his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He raises his glass, the violet lights illuminating the liquid. Iwaizumi follows his lead. “To my Juliet, the belle of the ball,” Ushijima bellows. You smile slightly and shake your head. “No no, to you Ushi, it’s your birthday, not mine, we are celebrating you!” Your eyes find Iwa’s, but you leave your glass raised. Ushijima grabs hold of your hand that’s still wrapped around the glass. “Cheers,” He tips the glass towards your lips and you swallow the clear liquor as he feeds it to you. You down it all in one go and Ushiwaka smiles wide once again. “She’s good, huh?” With that, Ushiwaka clinks his glass to Iwaizumi’s, “to you brother,” he assures. Iwa is surprised with the sudden sentiment. “And to you,” he replies before downing the shot. The liquor is surprisingly smooth, expensive, and strong. Iwa can feel his head starting to get light from the small portion that was in the glass and Iwa wasn’t a light weight. “Strong huh?” Ushijima smirks. Iwaizumi nods then turns to the bartender to signal for a water.

Ushijima turns to where you stand swaying slightly with the music. “Look at her, she gets drunk so easily,” Ushijima smiles. “How are you feeling, princess?” he shouts over at you. Iwa turns away and downs his water in disgust. ‘Princess?’ Ushijima shouldn’t be calling you that if you’re both just friends. You blink and give him a smile and a thumbs up. There was a natural innocence about you, a childlike wonder and curiosity, the embodiment of sanguine. Ushijima’s air was sometimes sinister, like he was taking advantage of your natural trusting nature. Iwa watches as Ushijima’s large hands rest on either of your shoulders and he pushes you back and forth like a pendulum between his palms. You giggle and try to push him away, “Ushi stooopp.” He laughs with you and continues pushing you around, “you’re so cute and small though, see?” He places a hand on top of your head and you still. “I said to stop,” you mumble. “And I did,” he retorts before letting you go.

Iwa watches the sudden weight of gravity find you as you stumble in your heels. He catches your arm just in time. Your arms find their way around his neck once more, your face in the crook of his neck. You pull away and Iwa examines your foggy eyes. “You okay?” You nod, pushing off of Iwa’s chest. You fix your hair, “it’s fine, he just messin’” you turn to Ushijima, “and someone doesn’t know when to quit.” You’re pulled away into Ushiwaka’s arms. He sways you back and forth, your back held against his chest while he says soft apologies. He whispers something to you and you nod. Iwaizumi wanted to pull you away from him. Not because he was jealous, but because the way that Ushiwaka was behaving with you was odd.

“Y/n is a little bit tired, why don’t you join us in VIP?” Iwa smiles and gives his thanks, trying his best to hide his scowl. Iwa follows after you and Ushiwaka, upstairs and under velvet ropes hoping that he will find a good moment to pull you away. But instead you are pulled onto the couch beside Ushiwaka. He lights a cigar and offers one to Iwa, but Iwaizumi declines with a simple, “no thanks, don’t smoke.” It’s strange the way that Ushiwaka keeps whispering in your ear, giving you sips of his drinks, and blowing smoke in your face. “Ushi, stop please, the smell is making me sick,” you whine. But he just pulls you closer to him, chuckling all the while and does it again. You’re laughing and poking his face, but it’s not out of joy... Watching Ushijima interact with you the whole night has been like watching a cat toy with a mouse.

Iwa grimaces when Ushiwaka tickles you. “Stop-stop-don’t-stop,” you giggle and howl. “She said to stop!” Iwa raises his voice. Ushijima’s eyes shoot towards Iwaizumi while you squirm off the couch. Your eyes are heavy as you walk towards a dark hallway and disappear into the shadows. Iwa’s eyes flick to the entrance to the hall. Ushiwaka sits in a contented silence, sipping a drink, “she’s so dramatic,” he sighs. He continues smoking, arm rested over the back of the purple velvet sofa. Ushijima takes a sip of his drink, swirling the ice in his glass. Iwa doesn’t move to break the silence no matter how expectant Ushijima’s expression was. He stamps out his cigar in the tray before addressing him.

“She’s awfully talkative, and incredibly fond of you…” Ushijima starts, an odd smirk painting his expression. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow in intrigue and Ushijima’s face hardens. “She won’t shut up about you since she met you… it’s annoying...” Iwaizumi, remains quiet, the silence settling over the men like a thick fog. The only sounds are muffled club music and the ice tinkling against Ushijima’s glass. “I’m going to be honest as a friend… bad idea.” Iwaizumi can feel the rage bubbling inside his gut, “I don’t think that what’s going on between us is any of your-” He’s cut off by Ushijima.

“I’m really looking out for you Iwaizumi, girls can break hearts and Y/n is kind of known for that… she’s just a sweet soul, makes friends easily, but love? That’s harder for her… doesn’t have the best taste in men I’m afraid, I want to protect her and you from a situation where I can already see the conclusion… I get that you like her, everyone does.” Iwazumi leans forward, “does that include you?” Ushijima is stone faced, then gives a cold laugh. “You’re funnier than I remember, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi rises and heads towards the hall you disappeared down. If he sat in front of him any longer he was going to say something he regretted… and you still haven’t come back. He slips into the dark hallway as you’re exiting the bathroom. Your mask has been removed and even in the dim lighting you look pale. “Hey, what’s happened?” You look up at him embarrassed, your dress almost as wilted as you are. “Got sick…” you mutter. You’re shaking slightly, arms wrapped around yourself. “Oh Y/n, are you alright?” he sighs. His arm starts to reach for you but he thinks better of it, pulling it back to rest by his side. His eyes widen as he feels the warmth of your hand in his. He didn’t figure that you would want to be touched right now. But your fingers interlace with his, your skin soft. “Are you good to drive?” you whisper. His hand instinctively tightens around yours protectively. “I only had whatever Ushijima gave us, it was strong but I’ve had water- yeah I’m good.” “Would you mind taking me home?” you ask, as you start to walk back towards the VIP room. “Sure, course,” Iwaizumi replies gently. He feels how your thumb brushes over the back of his hand in silent gratitude. The gesture has his heart beating hard against his ribs. Iwa walks forward, his eyes on you and nothing else. Your brow is furrowed and your expression painted serious which was unusual from how he knew you to act.

“Iwa’s taking me home now,” you announce and walk towards the stairs. Ushiwaka’s face hardens, “I can take her home, you shouldn’t trouble yourself,” he addresses Iwaizumi. You smile and turn around facing Ushiwaka. “But Ushi, ‘s ur birthday, you can’t leave this party jus’ ‘a take me home,” You turn to Iwa now. “Let’s go,” you say and Iwa nods, still holding your hand. “Where’s my hug, princess?” Ushijima calls after you. You stop in your tracks and close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. You drop Iwa’s hand slowly, hesitantly. You walk back slowly and stand before his open arms. He lifts you and you groan. You’re still hugging him tightly but not quite with the same intimacy as before.

As Ushijima places you down you turn to look back at Iwa when Ushijima catches your face with his large hand. He coaxes your face back towards him then leans down. Ushiwaka locks eyes with Iwaizumi as he whispers something in your ear. Then he presses his lips to your cheek, still not moving his eyes away from Iwaizumi’s. Iwa tries his best to remain neutral but he can feel his lip creeping upwards in contempt. Ushiwaka is too prideful for his own good it seems.

You take Iwa’s hand again, leading him towards the exit. An exasperated look rests on your face. “What did he say to you?” Iwa asks. You sigh and shake your head. “‘S nothin’, ya shouldn’t worry your pretty lil head ‘bout it.” Iwa can’t help but allow a smile. He raises an eyebrow at you, “think my head is pretty?” he asks. He’s met with your hazy gaze, “I do,” you say simply. Iwa wasn’t prepared for such a straightforward answer to his question.

Once out of the club, the valet pull Iwaizumi’s car around. He’s careful not to let you walk too far on your own. Sick, in those ridiculous shoes and still quite drunk, he opens the car door for you before hopping into the driver's seat. “Will you put your address in?” Iwa hands you his phone and you type it in as asked. “Thanks for doing this,” you sigh. “Yeah of course,” he says as he puts the car into gear. A few streets of city light pass by in silence. Your hands are resting in your lap but your body is still trembling. “I can- umm- pull over if you need me to…” You wave the thought away with your hand, “it was the smell of the cigar more than anything…” Iwa’s gut begins to boil again. Your voice is soft, almost defeated. He speaks before thinking better of it. “Does he always treat you like that?” You look at Iwa and make eye contact briefly before his attention is back on the road. “He was being a little extra weird today, maybe because y’all used to play volleyball together or… I dunno really, he just gets like that sometimes…” You trail off, allowing your thoughts to fade into the rearview. The silence is deafening and you feel the need to break it. “He’s really nice too though, don’t get me wrong, he cooks for me and calls to check in, he even gets me little gifts, so I know he cares.” Iwa shakes his head, “if he cared he would have stopped when you asked him to.” You take a breath, “I know but he was just having a night I guess…” Iwa pulls into your driveway as the GPS notifies him that he has ‘arrived at the destination’. He puts the car in park, “you don’t have to make excuses for him… it’s okay to be angry, if that’s how you feel.” You start to open the door, your fingers on the handle. “I’m not angry though, I’m just kinda hurt.” You open the door and start to get out, “okay, maybe a little angry too.” You laugh to yourself but not out of joy. It’s an ironic laugh and Iwa can hear the pain ringing inside of it. “Let me walk you inside.”

#iwaizumi #iwa #hajime #hajime x reader #iwa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime #pls protect me iwa

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beezonia · 3 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEET BEAN QUEEN LEYA HYENA!!!!

Here’s her birthday dialogue with some characters/others ocs I feel like she’d get along with!

Yuu and Leya

Leya: Ah, Prefect you came all the way to Toontasma today to see me?!

Yuu: Happy birthday Leya. Hope you’re having a great day?

Leya: Oh thank you Prefect, and my day is most certainly better now you’ve come and visited! (Laughs)

Yuu: Have you wished for anything special?

Leya: (sighs) I forgot to… Hey why don’t we wish for something together?! The stars are really really pretty tonight and we can wish on the brightest ones!

Yuu: Of course, on the count of three!

Leya and Yuu: 1 2 3!!!!

Leya: Oh I feel so happy, I wish everyone could feel like this! Thanks a lot Prefect, today’s celebration has been wonderful and it’s all been for me!! We should do this next year too!!

Yuu: Of course we can Leya, enjoy the rest of your special day.

Leya: Thanks again Prefect!!! See ya soon!!

Vera and Leya - @toontasma

Vera: Happy birthday darling, hope the party exceeds your expectations?

Leya: Thanks Vera, the party is certainly in full swing… I think Arma got some of the first years drunk. (Chuckles)

Vera: Damn that slimy bastards at it again! I have your present with me, hope you’ll like it sweetie.

Leya: (blushes) T-thanks Vera, I’m flattered. (Opens it) A NEW SCARF!! Thank you Vera just what I needed!!

Vera: I’m glad you like it, I’d feel a bit stupid if it wasn’t the one you wanted.

Leya: I’d take it and cherish it even if it was the wrong one, after all ya don’t need to worry about stuff like that with me! I ain’t a picky person!

Vera: That so, well if you’re not as picky as you say how bout you come with me to that cafe you like at the weekend?

Leya: (blushes) R-Really, you wanna take me?! Of course I’ll go with you it’d be like a date!

Vera:(blushes) A date? Ahh, that’s not what I meant but it’s your birthday so I guess I can make an exception.

Leya: Love you to Vera! Thanks for the scarf!! See you later!!

Conrad and Leya - @piraticusdorm - I feel these two would get along really well, even though Leya is the shy type! Maybe Conrad can bring out her crazier side!

Leya: Conrad!!! You made it!!!

Conrad: Leya Happy birthday darling! Hope you’ve had a wonderful day?

Leya: Oh yes, it’s been wonderful!! I think Arma may have gotten some first years drunk though.

Conrad: (laughs) Oh did he now? Well that’s one way to spend your birthday.

Leya: Yeah it is, thanks for coming again Conrad, means a lot to me.

Conrad: I wouldn’t have missed this for the world dear Leya. Your a great friend. I cherish you alot.

Leya: Thank you, you wanna know what my birthday wish was?

Conrad: Go on then.

Leya: I wanted to spend it with the people I love most. It definitely came true!

Conrad: I’m glad, happy birthday yet again Leya . Enjoy the rest of your night!

Leya: Thanks Conrad, and hope you will too!”

End of part one???

#art twistedwonderland #twisted wonderland oc #oc story #ocs #twst disney #happy birthday #love

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? I would add to my wardrobe more than change

How do you/did you get to school? walk, then by bus

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? creepy

What was the last song you sung out loud? https://youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? worried that I’ll waste my money

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? today

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? many people

Was it hard for you to get up this morning? not really

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? few months ago

Do you feel comfortable talking about your disorders, if you have them? depends

Where did you go on your last field trip? not sure which was last

Do you think you make a good first impression? no

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? might

Have you ever had to give up on someone? sure

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? them break up with me (not my decision) but usually it’s the other way around

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? umm...

Are you calm in emergency situations? depends

Who are you most attached to? my dad

What do you depend on other people for? money mostly :(

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? depends

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? sometimes, it’s not that I have enough shoes to do that lol

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female

What was the last thing you bragged about? not sure what was last

What’s the ugliest thing on your wall? umm...

Who’s your favorite philosopher? Schopenhauer because of all the memes

Do you think Freud was out of his mind? well I prefer Jung

Einstein? he was cool

Who’s your favorite painter/artist? I like many

What day is it? Friday

Are you wearing anything blue? nah

Do you know anyone named Graham? just bread :P

Are you sitting next to anyone? not currently

Do you dislike the last person you Facebook messaged? nope

Who’s the quietest of all your friends? K. always was

Are you home alone right now? If so, where are the people you live with? my mom’s home, my dad is at work

Are you a chocoholic? noooo

Is there a song that reminds you of the person you love/like? Do you listen to that song often? one of them is t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? sometimes

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? not sure

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? second

How many people do you depend on? not many

How many people do you think depend on you? they could live without me

What is the worst color combination? brown and black?

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? yeah

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? nothing to me and it’s annoying that they’re part of so many horrors

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? sigh...

How many hats do you own/wear? shitload

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? ppl are jealous of my weight so basically my illness :(

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? of course

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? not sure what was last

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? my gf only

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? yup

Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I always win What about hangman? I played it couple of times Are you dangerously in love with someone? woah

Are you cute or sexy? cute Is English your 1st language? it’s not Did you ever perform in front of your entire school? elementary - more than once Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? one time she told me that school was flooded and there were fish and frogs and then I said that to my mom and she called me a liar and got mad even tho I explained to her it was my sister’s idea :( Are you single and proud? you can be single and proud as well as be happy in a relationship too, I am in one now Are you more happy when you’re with people or alone? 90% of time alone What do you think about guys shaving their legs? that’s their life Do you wear lipstick? nah Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. I don’t wanna talk about it

What music album would be used for a movie about your life? soundtrack to my life would have to be a mix of songs from different bands/vocalists

Who was your first crush and what made them special? she was just adorable with her clumsiness and her perfect body and that face and voice and she was just a pretty cool friend to me and I wanted to take care of her so badly, she was the very first girl I ever had a crush on irl if not in general but she was hetero and she changed a lot (not in a good way in my opinion) Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? I... I never imagined my first kiss before it happened?...

Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? blergh

Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. there’s no such thing, it’s all about the person If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? absolutely, my health issues Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? I’ve found shitload of stuff but one thing was the most odd and that’s a taxidermy ferret shawl someone left on a bus stop - at first we thought with dad it must be alive but we came closer and realized someone lost their piece of cloth and we took it Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. almost a month, I was in hospital Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. - Have you ever seen a ghost? it seems, it was not just white but a little bluish, no legs and weird face - shaped like in a clay, mostly transparent, slightly glowing, it was in open doors of my room, I woke up with a weird feeling that someone’s watching me and I got really scared so I hidden under a blanket and didn’t look there again until morning, I was trying to convince myself it’s just a shirt that was hanged in the hall but mom said there wasn’t anything like that there at night, now I wish I could see that again hoping I would try to do something more brave about it, I kinda worry I was rude towards them whoever it was

*btw my grandma said that after death some chemicals leave the body and fly like a fog through the cemetery if casket and grave aren’t blocking it too much Describe your note-taking style and habits. everywhere and usually not in line, can be even upside down, just random, different size, clue words etc. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? suffering to deserve heaven? Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real What are all your thoughts on god? overthinking... What did you learn today? for example - that explaining things to people make me realize more than just thinking about something What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? ask them Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? poor tree :( In what ways have you traveled? car, bus, train, bike, even a little bit by ship What historical events happened the year you were born? nothing interesting

Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? sure

What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public? nothing If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible? no longer than 11 am What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? pajama because it’s past midnight and I should be asleep but I have to finally finish this survey then dry my hair and drink some water first Are either one of your parents retired? my mom is and my dad will be soon Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free? watch online, I have no money for buying movies that I’ll watch less than 3 times Does everyone in your household own their own computer? nope

Are you a good gift giver? I try my best and been told that I am despite not being rich

Do you know what XOXO stands for? hugs and kisses

What’s the first person who comes to your mind when you hear the word blue? me

Have you seen any of the Harry Potter movies? first ones

Do you like your significate others siblings? I don’t know her brother

Have you ever recieved a singing birthday card? omg I loved those and I wish I got one :(

Do you remember who your kindergarten/pre-school teacher was? I liked her so much I’ve been sending her cards on holidays years after

Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? never

Do you own anything made of lace? hmm...

How many people do you share a name with? I don’t know anyone with my name

Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? if it’s not an apartment then of course it does, highest possible and thick as I don’t want to see or be seen by my neighbors

Do you own any yellow shoes? yep

Can you type fast? very

In school were you bullied? I was

Are you sarcastic? yeah

Do you read the newspaper? nah

If you died today where do you think you’d go? hell :(

Have you ever been to therapy? few times, didn’t help

Do you use online dating? did

Did you miss alot of school? I was sick often

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? not sure what was last

What was the last thing you ordered online? shirt, I’m waiting for the package now

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? no :o

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? hmm...

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? trzynastka or however this shit was called

Would other people describe you as creative? I guess

What color are your slippers? grey and white

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done? constantly

Did you like high school or college better? didn’t go to college

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? I didn’t have a favorite

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? used to, with John

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? had classmates like this and neighbors too

Do you enjoy mornings? rarely, not really

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? thought

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? ok

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? didn’t like it

Do you stay up late? as you can see

what do you hear right now? nothing

what is one thing in your life you feel truly guilty for? personal

have you ever been slapped in the face? I’ve been slapped without any reason, I was bullied

how about punched? hit with a ball only and my head was hit with a bottle too once

have you ever come up with a memorable quote yourself? I’ve been quoted

what do you think about masturbation? personal

What color did you first ever dye your hair?: either red or black

What’s the color of the bath towel you use most often?: green

Ever eaten a piece of dog or cat food out of curiosity?: ewww, nooo

Can you name one song by Prince?: Purple rain for example

Would you rather paint or make pottery?: paint

Are you currently taking this survey before or after 9pm?: after, I started over 5 hours ago...

Is the sun shining bright outside right now?: it’s the middle of the night!

Would you rather watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy?: romantic comedy ^^”

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rainycl0udss · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3;

The morning after party

//When can I say "I love you"?//

Written Chapter!

Word count; 1780

Moons POV

I lay peacefully in my bed, sleeping.

That was untill I heard one of the most annoying sounds of all time.

My alarm.

Don't get me wrong, I love the song Euphoria but I wish I didn't have to wake up right now.

I turn my head to the noice and pick up my phone so I can turn of the sound of my alarm playing.

I check my phone on social media and I check my mails aswell.

I look at the time, it's 8:35 am.

Way to early for my liking but I don't really have a choice. I've got plenty of things to do today. I'll probably have to go grocery shopping too. I don't think Mimi is going to be in the right state of mind to do it today.

With a sigh I get out of my bed and walk to the kitchen.

Just like I had suspected, nobody else is awake yet. They're probably going to be sleeping till noon.

I walk to the fridge and take out some banana milk, cheese and eggs. I'll probably make an omelette with some cheese, drink some banana milk and call it breakfast.

After preparing my meal and eating it it's already 09:48 am.

That's not as late as I thought it would be.

I have to be in the studio around noon, so I've got plenty of time to get ready.

I clean my dishes and decide I'll take a shower to clean myself. Something that is definitely needed because my hair smells like liquor.

I walk back to my bedroom and grab a black jeans and a grey hoodie. I also take some fresh underwear and head to the bathroom.

There is one positive about waking up before everyone else and that is,

The bathroom is not occupied.

I undress, step in the shower and start washing my hair.

I'm not really a morning person, I like to sleep in and I probably would never leave my bed if that was an option. Sadly it's not. I'm also normally not a person who showers in the morning. Normally I shower before I go to sleep. I like it better that way. That way my hair can dry naturally at night and I'll feel fresh in the morning. Obviously I had no time for a shower yesterday night. I was way to tired to do anything else but sleep.

I'm curious if the others remember anything about last night. I have a feeling Mimi probably doesn't. She never does.

Jae, that's debatable. She normally remembers everything, but she normally isn't that drunk so I guess we shall see.

For some reason Yun will probably remember everything, even tho that girl can get so drunk she almost dies, she'll always remember everything. It's kinda scary really.

Jae and Mimi, mostly Mimi, complain that she doesn't remember anything and that Yun should be happy she could remember.

Yun always responds with "It's more of a curse then a blessing, sometimes I wish I didn't remember."

I think I understand what she means, in that perspective I'm the same as Yun.

I can drink as much as I want, I'll remember everything. But I don't drink much so it's never a problem.

Ones I'm done showering I change in my clothes and head back to my room.

My hair is still wet so I decide to wear a beanie.

I look at the clock and see it's 10:27 am.

There is still no sign that my friends are waking up anytime soon.

I put on my boots and take my jacket. I take my keys and my bag and leave for the car.

I guess it's time for me to go grocery shopping.

Ones in the grocery I buy whatever I think we'll be needing. I'm normally not the one to do it, but it needs to be done.

Ones I'm back home I see that Jae is awake.

"Good morning." I say while unpacking the groceries.

"Hey Moon. Do you know where the painkillers are?" Jae asks me in a quiet voice.

She's definitely hungover.

"I think in the cabinet next to instant noodles." I exclam while still unpacking.

I hear her open the cabinet and take a painkiller.

"I found them, thanks." She says after taking a painkiller.

"You seem pretty hungover Jae." I state to her.

"I AM pretty hungover. This fucking sucks." She huffes.

"You shouldn't have drunk as much as you did. Then you wouldn't be in this position." I claim.

"Shut up will you. I know I shouldn't have but you know how it goes..." She argues back.

Honestly, I don't know. I'm pretty good at holding my liquor so it's never really been a problem for me.

"Whatever floats your boat Jae." I chuckle.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked me while she goes to sit down.

I look at the clock and see it's 11:36 am.

"About three hours now. I'm guessing you just woke up." I reply.

"Why the fuck would you wake up that early?" Jae exclames

"Because unlike some people I actually have things to do today and wanted to get it done." I articulate.

Jae just rolls with her eyes.

"I made y'all some breakfast btw, it's more like brunch right now but whatever. It's in the fridge." I announce to Jae.

I get up from the table to walk to my room but I get interrupted by Jae.

"You made us breakfast? That's a first." She interjects.

"It's not a first you bitch, I always make y'all breakfast when you're hungover." I remark.

Without waiting for her to respond I walk to my room.

I grab my bag and put all my work in it.

I walk back to the kitchen to see Jae eat the food I made for her.

She's watching her kdrama while eating.

I go to the cabinet and grab a pot of instant noodles and a banana milk out the fridge. I put them both in my bag and walk to the front door of the apartment.

"Where are you going?" I hear Jae ask me before I could leave.

"To the studio." I answer without looking up.

"It's not even school today." She nags.

"That doesn't mean I can't work for school. Besides, now I'm behind on schedule because of yesterday." I persist.

"Are you leaving already?" I hear a different voice say.

I turn around and look at both Yun and Jae.

"I have to get my work done guys." I sigh.

It's not like it's fun for me to leave them alone all the time. They're my friends and I care about them. But I also care about my future.

"Can't you go to the studio around 1 pm?"

Yun begs me.

I take a deep breath.

I guess I can do that.

I sigh but place my bag on the floor and walk back to the table and sit down.

"I'll stay till 12:30 pm alright." I confirm.

Yun smiles at me.

"Good to hear." She smiles.

"So how are you?" I ask after a short silence.

"I'm oke. I guess." She mumbles while stuffing her face with bacon.

"I honestly don't remember much." Jae confesses.

I'm not surprised about that.

"I fucking wish I didn't remember anything. It was so embarrassing." Yun grumbles.

"I only remember that Mimi started puking and that you were grinding against some guy." Jae laughs.

"Euw, Don't remind me of Mimi puking. You know I hate puke." She recalls disgusted.

"Who was the guy?" I hint in a joking matter.

"Just some guy I made out with, he wasn't my soulmate." She whines.

I just shake my head an laugh a little.

This is typical behavior for her. Same goes for Mimi. Always going around and have one night stands with random guys from clubs. The only rule we have is to not go to his home. Luckily that didn't happen yesterday.

"I really hoped I would have found my soulmate." Jae whimpers.

"Same here, I'll probably just die alone." Yun dramatically states.

"I actually enjoyed myself for and hour are so." I suddenly confess to them.

The both turn their heads to me at the same time and just stare at me.

"Can you both stop staring at me please, it's unsettling." I accuse.

"You enjoyed yourself? At a party? Do I even know you?" Yun jokes while she punches my arm.

"Then what did you do? Because I didn't see you dance even ones." Jae questions.

"I talked to a someone. Her name was Areum. She was very nice. She also helped me find Soo-Yun." I inform them.

"I'm glad you actually enjoyed yourself. Maybe you'll come with us again." Yun smiles at me.

She trying to hint me to go with them again. Oh hell nah.

"I don't think so, but good try." I laugh and pet her on the shoulder.

"But I'm leaving now." I inform them.

I get up and walk to the front door.

"Don't come home to late!" Jae yells.

I pick my bag from the ground and open the door.

"I won't, tell Mi-Hi that her food is in the fridge!" I yell before I close the door.

I decided that I'll go on foot. The studio isn't so far from our apartment it's only a 20 minute walk. I plug in my headphones and start blasting Dimple from BTS.

God I love that song.

Ones I get to the studio I start looking for my ID to show them I have promision to use the studio.

When I look in my wallet for my ID I found an familiar looking card.

It's the card that Ari unnie gave me.

I put it in my pocket and walk in the building.

I show them my ID and walk to my studio.

I poof myself in my seat and pull the card out of my pocket.

Coffee shop Blooming.

It look aesthetically pleasing.

I'll definitely go there this week. I would really like to talk to Ari unnie again. She was very nice.

I put it back in the pocket of my jeans and start to work on my final project of this semester.

I have alot to catching up to do. Definitely now that I'm leaving in a few weeks to Busan for Hanas birthday.

I can't afford to waist time.

I sigh one last time before I take of my headphones and plug them in my computer. I'm in work mode ones again.

This is going to be a long day.

<<Previous// //Next>>

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a-functional-lowlife-blog · 5 years

Text

8.11.19

So I’ve never really utilized anything other than a diary to jot down my daily feels, but something tells me I might find some comfort knowing that nobody can sneak into my room and read my journal. Tumblr seems like a good enough void to dump these thoughts into. Maybe it’s my psyche craving a positive outlet.. Id rather this be private, but sometimes connections supposed to help, right? If topics of abuse, death, suicide, or depression trigger you, please do not continue reading. So I guess, let’s start from the top.

I’m 2X years old, & I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m a gamer, & employed, But it’s not like I”m pursuing some great dream. I’m kind of coasting through life, trading experiences for fragments of myself. But I’m honestly rather content, at the moment. I make decent enough money. I can afford to shelter myself, feed myself, & entertain myself. So to some people, yeah it might look like i’ve had it pretty easy. In some ways, I have; in others, not really.

It was just me & my mom growing up. Dad wasn’t around, & i don’t really want to get into that right now. My mom did everything she could for me. And I, of course being a growing hormonal boy, never truly appreciated it until I got into the real world. Thanks mom. She low-key prepared me for almost anything. I graduated high school, no special titles or accolades, but I could hear her screaming well above the entire stadium of parents when they called my name. I hope I can make her that proud again someday. I haven’t seen her in almost 4 years. Life can be a bitch like that once you’re an actual adult.

Since graduating high school, I’ve fathered a child, a little girl, who continues to blow my mind every day, with her brains & beauty. Damn, my ugly mug made one amazing little girl. Everything I do, I do for her. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. The mother & I are still on fantastic terms, but we separated a couple years after the birth. It just didn’t work as a healthy relationship anymore, & our daughter deserved better than that.

After we parted ways, I got myself tangled up with a girl that, in hindsight, I should have never said hello to. Now don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years were truly magical. She was young, beautiful, petite body, alternative with piercings & tattoos. Which was basically me, young, rather handsome, fit body, alternative with piercings and tattoos. A match, it would seem, made in heaven. She made me feel alive again. She reinvigorated me to my soul, showed me new experiences I never could have imagined, or dared to do otherwise. I felt happy. Which for me, is a rather fleeting bird, one that’s typically driven away by the raven. It was just like a fairy-tale. We all know those aren’t real. I should have seen the warning signs. The “red flags” that everyone says I ignored. But red flags look like regular flags when looking through rose-tinted glass. If you’ve stumbled upon this by chance, & are triggered by abuse, or suicide, I suggest you stop reading now.

It started out with little things. Roast-like insults, but sometimes they hurt a little more than they should. Which, obviously, led my mind to tell me “stop being so sensitive.” I’d let it slide. As we approached the 2 year mark, it started getting nastier. Her patience with me was very thin. The smallest error, like I forgot to pick up soda on the way home from my 10 hour shift once, led to me being belittled with insults to my intelligence & even attacks on my dedication to her. It only got worse as time went on. I silently cried myself to sleep most nights. My self-esteem was in an entirely different dimension by this point. I’ve become completely submissive to her. I looked at myself in the mirror one night, after doing things that I regret doing, and being disgusted in myself for letting it get so bad. For never stepping back up & standing my ground. I got us through homelessness. I had helped her get help because she had a severe mental illness that I will not put here. Her every wish, within my power, was my command. Why should I tolerate being treated like something stuck to the bottom of her shoe when kindness didn’t suit her? So I did. That was the first time she hit me. Just once, open palmed to my left temple.

It didn’t stop. It got worse. I will not go into details, because almost 3 years later, I still panic when I try to think about those months. Most of my friends & family do not know how bad it got. And those that do, do not even know who she even was. It collapsed faster when I started to dissociate after multiple (thankfully) failed suicide attempts. I started cheating, trying to get her to leave me, since she wouldn’t allow me to leave her without threatening to kill herself. “You’re my soulmate, I won’t live without you.” She kept me in that state of submissive fear for another year, using the same lines. Using the same deflection tactics to make me question myself. All while calling me her “soul mate”. I hate that fucking word now.

But I did finally get the courage to leave. In the middle of the night, a train ride back to my hometown. She tried to work back into my life a few times over the next 2 years. I eventually stopped talking to her, because she would always try to convince me to come back to her, that it can be different, that she’s willing to start over. So I stopped talking to her last year. And now, I can’t anymore, because last month, she killed herself. I honestly never stopped loving her. I can feel the hole where her energy used to be, the bits she contributed to my soul, snuffed out.. I blame myself for her suicide. And I hate that I fell in love with such a beautiful, toxic soul.

We can skip over the few fling relationships I held while in my hometown, except for one girl, who I will forever thank for showing me what a true loving, healthy relationship, based on trust and open communication can actually be like. We got into it knowing we were on a time limit, because I was already in the process of saving up to move again, this time, 3,000 miles away. But we had good chemistry, and I think the relationship was the perfect amount of time for both of us. She’s a LoZ girl. Major fan. As in, owns every game, tons of merch, follows tons of streamers on Twitch who play Legend of Zelda, especially if it’s Ocarina of Time. Coastal gamer girl is probably the best description of her. She’s still one of my best friends, & I talk to her on occasion. She’s super happy, and living a rather adventurous life. I’m super happy for her.

Our fateful day came, and I had to move away. She comforted me during the entire packing process. Which literally filled 2 boxes I shipped to my new address, my military backpack, & a laptop case. It still resulted in 8 hours of back to back anxiety attacks. I only knew TWO people in the town where I was moving to. One of them, I had never physically met before in our entire 14 year friendship. So, rightfully, I was terrified to leave. I’d reconnected with old friends in my hometown. I’d met an amazing girl in my hometown. I’d landed a really fantastic job in the medical field in my hometown. What was I thinking?! Leave all of THIS?!

But I knew why. She knew why. Everyone in my life knew why. The answer was simple. Yeah, I had a good job, a good girl, & a relatively good life. But I wasn’t truly happy. In my soul. Just as I was in the states I’ve lived before. And that was okay. We had the perfect amount of happiness.

So here I am, in an undisclosed new location, three-thousand miles away from my hometown. And honestly, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Do I see myself dying here? No, not really. But I could kick it here for a decade or so, if the fates allow my life that long? Sure. The best friend I’d never met before, is just as amazing in person. We play video games together now & then, and go out to the downtown bar scene sometimes for karaoke. There’s 3 roommates total. I enjoy being their roommate. Also, there’s 4 cats. who I absolutely love, and will contemplate posting their pictures here too, for memories sake.

I’ve made some really amazing friends, especially one girl in particular. She’s been very good to me, in many ways. Dinners, events, concerts, party weekend for my last birthday to pass. All while both of us just have a blast around each other. She’s helped me alot these last few months, everything from food to rent, while I struggled to find work, & get on my own two feet. I struggled for 5 months before I landed myself where I am now. So to celebrate, she & I went and got tattoos today.

I got a tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin on my wrist. To remind myself to be happy, because I’ve already spent so much time being sad. And that I’m going to keep making myself happier, by staying true to myself, learning & growing from the events I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad. Creative, & destructive. Because it’s all molded me into who I am now.

So really without getting into childhood stories, high school shenanigans, & college hijinx, that’s the story of Z. A recent handle I’ve taken to lately, in case someone does decide to read this. I’d like to add to this little... off-site journal once a week, maybe more often.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sufficiently stoned now, & would like to return to playing Apex Legends.

Signing off,

#journal #private #tw suicide #tw abuse #tw drugs #read at your own discretion #do not repost #venting

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dfwemelie · 5 years

Text

August🔥

August 5th. I finally got my phone back from the cruise and omfg I wanna go back so bad. It was so incredibly fun and I met alot of amazing people. I met Gage, Taylor, Emma, Destiny, Dezi, Josh, Jacob, DJ, Andre, Adam, Daniel, Ty, Preston, Eddy, Aiden, and so many more people. It was such an experience and definitely the best birthday I've ever had. None of them are gonna read this but thank you to everyone who made my first cruise and my 16th birthday so awesome. I love and will miss everyone.

I got to watch Gavin today cause Sebastian has a eye doctors appointment which is not fun for me. I also have to get my school schedule today cause I wasnt able to on the 1st cause I was in Cozumel. I'm really hoping I get classes with my friends. I'll be upset if I didn't but itll be okay. If I dont I'll just be known as the quiet girl again.

August 6, I have to force myself to stop liking swedish boy but ngl it's so fucking hard. Hes perfect for me. God fucking damn it why does he gotta live so far. Why do I have to get so attached to people so quickly. I just get left in agonizing pain again and again. it's just a constant state of heartbreak. I hate this. I hate myself. He told me hes forcing himself to stop liking me cause he knows there is no way of us meeting. That really broke me. I keep saying it's fine but it's not. Why do I do this to myself. Why cant I just stay away from all of it like I wanted to in the first place. None of it matters anymore. I guess the only thing I can try to do is move on. I was talking to Parker about it and he said if he really did like me then he would try all he could to make it work. Ugh I just wish he could make it work. Hes not my cute swedish boi anymore, just a guy I met on tiktok. It hurts saying that but that's all itll ever be now. My tiny little sliver of hope that I had was incinerated by the flames of tragedy. I gotta move on. I dont wanna move on. I have to though. It hurts. Its weird not seeing his name as Swedish boi now when he texts me. He asked me to change it.

August 9th, I went driving today and i did kinda good. I went on Birnhamwoods and i was scared but i did good. My mom doesnt know how to give directions. Other than that I've just been in bed all day again. I've been watching Jane The Virgin season 5 with Misty and so many things are happening it's great. Theres 5 days till school and I want to go back but I really dont want to. First I'm gonna have to see Gage and that's gonna be hella awkward. We havent talked since he blocked me like a month or 2 ago. I also have to give Scott his stuff back and that's really gonna hurt. I don't tell anyone but I still wear his jacket sometimes. I know it's bad and I need to stop but I cant help it. I cant help the fact I still miss him. But now I gotta give it back to him. By me doing that it means its really over. I guess that's how its gonna be now. Just over. I gotta ignore the fact that I loved him and he was my first. But now it's gone and I have to accept that. I'm just gonna stop trying ya know. Im tired of getting my heart broken. I just need to be alone from everyone for awhile.

August 10th, Yesterday I was playing with the boys and needed to switch the party from my phone to the xbox. My headset was dead so I asked sebastian for his charger cause I lost mine. He said no but I took it anyways. He knew I was gonna take it so he rat me out to my parents and told me to give it back. I asked if I could borrow it again and he said no. I was angry so I grabbed his headset and threw it on the ground, breaking it. My dad heard and ran up the stairs and started yelling at me. He told me to clean my room so I locked myself in the bathroom. They took my phone, xbox cable, and TV cable. My mom tried talking to me but I didn't say anything, only that I wanted my phone back. While everyone was distracted I grabbed pillows, blankets, markers, and my fan and slept in the bathroom as a protest. At around 1am my mom gave me back my phone and said she deleted everything. I was pissed. But I'm fine now.

I went driving today again. We went through benders and looked at the rich people houses. Must be nice not being broke. I also drove to Kroger which I was nervous about since there were so many cars but I did good. I even parked, not perfectly but in the spot. My dad felt bad about yesterday and got me Starbucks. School is starting up soon and I'm excited to see kaylie but that's it. Not looking forward to giving Scott his jacket back. I'm just gonna walk up to him, say nothing, and hand it to him. I'm gonna stop talking about it before I start crying again lol

August 14th,First day of school and I've already cried twice. Scott kept talking about how he broke up with me and how he feels bad about how he did it and regrets it. Then he asked me about Gavin was and I said he really fucking misses him, cause he does. Then the bell rang and I cried walking out. Other than that it was an okay day. Coach Clair remembered me and I was really happy about that. Also my son Jadon is in that class and that made me happy.

August 15th, I'm in chemistry rn and I fucking hate it. I don't think there are any juniors in here and it sucks. I feel like shjt that I failed this class. It wasn't my fault though. I really hate this. It makes me really nervous and anxious and emotional. I'm not gonna cry but I wish I could. Everyone knows eachother and I don't know anyone. I wish I was in Physics instead but i guess that's harder than Chemistry. Now I'm in level chemistry so its gonna be easier cause I struggled with how fast they were teaching.

Looks like I gotta reset my days clean tonight.

I met this guy named Allon yesterday. I see him everyday since he's in my culinary and he's also in my history and my English. He seems cool and is friends with Eugene. Culinary was fun today, we did a speed dating thing and it was awkward at first but once we got to talking to everyone it was easy.

August 16th, its Friday. School is done for the week. I was upset today cause they changed my history teacher and I loved him. Now they put me with this monotone teacher Mr.Horton. it's weird cause there is only like 10 kids in that class. I am now also in Livestock production and there are 12 student in there including me now. I don't know why some of the classes are so small, there are over 2,000 students at gohs now. In culinary we had to split up in groups and I went with Eugene, Allon, Adam, and Tamara. They are a really fun group. I almost feel bad for leaving Michael to be in a group with a bunch of people he doesnt know but he would've had to choose to sit with them or Eugene so I sat with them so he didnt have to. I had alot of fun. I already know culinary is gonna be my favorite class this year. Mrs.Langley says we aren't allowed to choose our groups this year but I hope she changes her mind. Allon seems really nice. I got his snapchat and we've been talking alot. He has the cutest fucking poodle ever. I see him everyday, not just cause of culinary but hes in my blue day English.

August 18th, its 12:06pm and I just realized I haven't done my review for the last 2 days. I haven't done much. I've mainly been texting Allon and watching Netflix.

August 19th, I try to sleep away my depression. It doesn't work

August 20th, by far one of the worst things about grand oaks this year is the bus situation. There are way too many kids on each bus and they have to get more busses cause it's so over crowded.

Last night was okay, I played Apex with Eugene then after we just talked for an hour. He was the main person talking he kept saying he felt bad for talking so much but I told him I'm a good listener so it was okay. We talked about some deep stuff and we actually have alot in common. We both overthink situations and create random scenarios in our head that would never happen but like what if they did. I almost feel kinda bad about talking to Eugene so much cause Michael hates him and I consider them both of my friends. I've just known Michael for so long but I have alot in common Eugene. More than I thought. I've kinda been leaning away from Michael and from my friends in general. I feel horrible for doing it but I don't want to completely cut them out of my life cause they've been in my life for so long. I guess I've kinda just grew out of some friendships, mainly Michael and I's. Idk maybe I'm just talking too much and should just keep everything how it is.

August 22nd, okay so update. Derek hit me up and I'm like ew but whatever. Allon is making me watch pokemon and ngl kinda love it. My hair is curly. We stan. I feel sick but that's cause I ate a sandwich and kept moving around. Also my back hurts. I wanna die. I'm at the bus stop. Its humid. Ew. Gross. I hate myself. That's it. Goodnight.

August 23, I was kinda quiet in culinary today and everyone was very concerned apparently. I spoke maybe 10 words. I dont know the exact reason but it was mainly thinking about Scott and the fact I kinda feel left out alot of the time. I don't even know why I'm still thinking about him, maybe I should take the time over the weekend to try to stop thinking about him. I feel left out alot in culinary, and in life in general. Culinary cause I sit with all guys and they talk about things I dont really know. I dont feel like talking about it anymore. Goodnight

August 28th, not much has happened since I last updated. I played minecraft with Allon last night and it was pretty fun. He died twice and it was super funny. Before he left we talked about just life. How we've both given up on relationships in general cause we've been fucked over so many times. Which I think is weird cause I keep getting mixed signals from him that he likes me but he also thinks of me as a friend. It's weird. But yea he also asked me if I was gonna go to homecoming this year and I told him I would if someone asked me but other than that I probably wouldnt. Yeah and then he left and I cried myself to sleep cause i talk to my ceiling about how lonely i feel at night. Yeah that's it.

I have such bad luck with guys holy shit I hate myself

August 29th, I played more Minecraft with Allon yesterday. We played for 3 hours lol. It was really fun. We both kept dying in the nether and we also kept killing eachother. I still get confused on whether he likes me or not. So many mixed signals it's crazy. I forgot my chemistry notebook at home and I'm very upset about that but oh well. I get to see Julian today so that's gonna be interesting. I keep seeing Scott everywhere I go and it just makes me so incredibly sad. I wish it didnt but it does. I'm sitting next to Johan and it's very obvious he likes me. I feel bad for not liking him back but I cant help for the fact that I will only see him as a friend. I think the whole Scott thing is playing a part in it too. I dont wanna date Johan cause it means I'll be around him more often. I really miss him but I dont. I want him in my life but I dont. Ya know? I'm confusing myself. Carlos and his friend walked to my house yesterday to get his phone and wallet back. It was funny cause there was alot of lightning and thu der and Carlos got hella scared. My mom pulled up and we drove them home.

August 31st, ah the end. I've played minecraft with Allon all day except for when I went to Akashi. Lifes been okay. I still think about him alot but I'm getting better. At least I feel like I am. Hopefully. I know it takes time but fuck I'm impatient. I miss Kaylie. I like culinary. I've officially established a group. It's me, Allon, Eugene, Adam, and the occasional Ty and Tamara. It's great. I'm happy I've made friends. Also I have a new friend in fashion. I'm trying to plan ahead on outfits for the show and I already have my whole 5 outfits but I need my fashion sketchbook to come in quick cause I'm dying from not drawing these. Adam has concluded I'm addicted to vitamin water. This month was ight. Hopefully I get better next month.

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futurepurplepaladin · 6 years

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When I’m With You I’m Home- Part 1

Anonymous: 11+15+73+81 for lance reuniting with an s/o he left on earth

11) “Wow, you look… amazing.”

15) ““When I’m with you, I’m home.”

73) ““Please don’t say goodbye.”

81) “Come with me.”

Word Count: ALOT

Who: Lance x Reader

Warnings: Nope clean fluff- one cuss word (H E Double Hockey Sticks)

Hope you enjoy!!!

—————-

“Bye, Auntie!”

“Bye, y/n, be back before sundown- I dont want you out in the dark!”

“Alrightie- byeeee!”

You closed the door of the small house you and your aunt shared, then closing the gate in front. FOr some reason that gate never closed right, leaving a loud bang of metal behind you.

You walked quickly off your steps, reaching for your surfboard as you sprint down to the ocean.

--------

Your house was very close to the ocean, a 5 minute walk at the most. Today was one of those blissful days; no tourists, no surfer guys trying to grab your attention- complete and utter calm.

You sat on the warm sand, relishing the feeling of scrunching your toes in the softness. You were wearing a “Coca Cola” crop top, which you took off for the long day ahead. You wore your traiditonal bathing suit, a white halter top bikini set. You tied your hair up into a quick bun (which you knew would come out during a wipe out), strapped the board to your ankle, and rain for the waves.

--------

Surfing took your mind off everything. Off the “accident.” The sorrow your town still felt, even though it had happened a year and a half ago. You still saw the McClains’ to this day, and seeing their smiles etched still with pain hurt you more than the fact everyone “pretended” Lance was alive even though they secretly gossiped that he was dead. It reminded you that you were just like them: still hurting.

Lance and you had been friends since childhood, running with sticks, pretending they were lightsabers and running after lizards. You guys were inspereable. He was the one who taught you how to surf. You were the one who introduced him to space. The whole neighborhood used to tease you two when you were young calling LAnce your “Little Lover” and you his “Little Miss.” You both pretended you hated it, looking at each other in disgust. You usual reaction was to give him a dirty look and say “HIm?” UGHHHHHH!”, and to make a barfing noise. LAnce’s usual thing was puff out his chest and say, “Me and her? Nuh uh, Im a bachelor- I got to many ladies to pick through!”

Forever it was like that- pretending to only be friends, until the day you two began to grow up, seeing not their chilldhood friend but a crush.

Both you and Lance enrolled into the Garrison, and you both got in. You waited to open up your GArrison letters together, and you to met at the beach, ripping up your letters feverishly. You pulled out the acceptance letters and you both screamed in glee. Lance had grabbed your hand, making you dance in the wet sand as waves lapped at your feet, him still screaming and you laughing out of glee.

Then came the “Congratulation” parties, then the Going Away parties, then off to the Garrison you went.

You had excpected to be in Lance’s team (being the engineer), but you didnt. You two were upset- but quickly got over it saying- “Its for the best. We gotta part ways some days Feo.” You used his nickname on him, and he laughed nervously. But Lance began to drift away, and as hard as you tried to keep him with you- you couldnt. His new friends, and his rivalry with Keith was keeping him to busy to be with you, and you began to not love LAnce but despise him. He kept running off, getting people in trouble, and he wasnt being the same. HUnk and Pidge were nice, you had classes with them, so they weren’t the issue.

You confronted LAnce one night, the very night he disappeared. Your bottled up emotions exploded when he told you he was sneaking off outside the GArrison.

“So, your just going to leave?! Because Lance does what he wants, when he wants to, huh?” you yelled glaring at him.

“I dont need you to tell me what I cant or cant do! You dont control me!”

“You’re being an idiot, Lance!”

“Your just jealous Im doing better than you! You don't want to see me do well and have fun- you didnt help me when Keith was being a jerk, because you know Im more talented, more social, and more fun than you are! You barely have friends, while everyone knows my name!”

“First of all-” you know what, forget it you wouldnt understand!” you felt tears pickling your eyes. “Just go.”

Lance knew you like the back of his hand- he knows when he over stepped it.

“Wait- y/n, Im sorry, i didnt really-”

“JUST GO!” you looked up at him, letting you tears run freely, and you walked to your room, and slammed the door, sliding down against it, and broke down.

---------

You replayed this moment for the millionth time as you sat on your surfboard, where the waves were calm.

You felt guilty for that night, feeling it was your fault for pushing LAnce away. You saw LAnce’s rivalry with Keith as stupid, knowing Keith was a better pilot, but didnt want to hurt your friend’s feelings by telling him that. He started to get mad and wanted somebody to listen after you would change the subject quickly when he brought it up, so he started talking to Hunk, who was to nice NOT to listen. You had no friends (besides maybe Pidge and HUnk) because you were so busy trying to get back LAnce, even though he kept brushing you off. You felt you had lost your best friend, and maybe it could have been something more. It wasnt your fault, you knew that, but- you wished you had done something different. Didnt deal with him like that.

The waves calmed you. Bittersweet moments like this came back to you, and little moments with LAnce you treasured. The times you would trip on cracks in the road when you were little, and he was the one that bandaged your cuts. The time your were Leia and he was Han for Halloween. The time he surprised you with a birthday cake for your birthday, but had forgotten to add sugar, and in an attempt to cover up the very flat cake had put globs of icing as big as ice cream scoops all over. You smiled at this one, remembering how the taste was so terrible that you spit the cake out in his face, and he was running around grossed out of his mind with half eaten cake all over his front while you sat laughing so hard your stomach hurt for hours after the incident.

You felt a tear roll off your cheek. You wiped it away. Remembering hurt, but forgetting would hurt worse.

--------

The sun began to set, and you realized you had to go home.

You sighed, because everything was perfect- the sand was cast in a golden honey glow as the sun began to lay upon the horizon. The water was being colored not blue, but soft shades of baby pink, fiery red, and hibiscus orange. The air was cool, and the smell of sea salt filled your noise.

The day had been a long one. You did have some wipe outs, which made your your hair turn into loose ringlets from the sea salt. You brushed your hair to the side, and began to pick up your things until-

A faint sound of a purr came over you, something was flying-you gasped, seeing a blue robotic lion fly past your head and to the far side of the beach.

You gasped. It couldn’t be-

You began to fast walk cautiously to the giant cat. Was it really him? How the hell is he here? Where has he been? Is it really him?

You saw the lion, far off, beginning to crouch. It opened its large mouth, and you saw a man clawed in blue armor step out-he was paler than before, his hair was longer, but it had to be-

“LANCE!” you screamed, realizing who was in front of you. You broke into a run, trying to catch your footing on the sand. You saw him turn to face you, and you were close enough know to see his face break into a huge smile.

“Y/N!!!” He screamed back, breaking into a run just like yours.

You grabbed each other, and held on tight. Loads of questions began to fill your mouth, and all Lance could do was repeat, “I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you guys so much!” Into your hair.

“Lance where have you been, everyone’s been worried sick, I’ve missed you, I thought you were dead, what happened, God I wanted to say sorry to you for so long- Ive MISSED YOU!” You wanted to cry- the thing you wanted most was back in your life: Lance was back.

He spun you in the air, like he did so many years ago on the day you were accepted into the Garrison. You both laughed, and you stayed there, him holding your waist, and you having your hands wrapped around his neck.

“I’ve missed you a lot Lance…” you smiled softly, putting your forehead on his. The butterflies came back, tickling your stomach gently.

“I’ve missed you a lot too y/n- I’ve always wanted to tell you something and I was always too scared to- but I realized life’s too quick to keep stuff to yourself.”

You were hanging on to his every word, anticipating what he’d say. He looked nervous, almost embarrassed to say what he was trying to tell you, and that made the butterflies fly around in your stomach more fiercely than before.

“I like you y/n, like a lot, and I know you probably-“

In a spurt of courage and happiness, you grabbed his face and kissed him.

Sparks flew- he tasted like cherries, you tasted like salt water.

You pulled apart, realizing your feet were back in the sand again- “Wow”, LAnce said breathlessly.

You chuckled softly, watching his light blue eyes turn indigo in the Cuban sunset.

Realization hit him, noticing you were only in your bathing suit.

“Wow, you look amazing,” he didn’t say this in his flirty voice, he didn’t mean it like that- it shocked you to hear he was genuinely complimenting you (for once).

And you did. You found surfing was your outlet to deal with Lance’s dissapaperance. But it wasn’t always like this though. For a long time, the grief of Lance cost you to kind of give up. The Garrison brought back to many painful memories, so you left. When you got back home, that brought me memories to; you stayed in your room, you didn’t come out for meals- it was like you disappeared too. But in an attempt to bring you back, your Aunt lovingly locked you out of the house and told you not to come back until you did something OUTSIDE of your room. You sat on the ground for a while, confused on what to do: it had been awhile since you had been outside. You opened your garage, and saw Lances blue and white surfboard- he had left it at your house before leaving- you grabbed it, feeling a surge of new found energy. You grabbed it and ran to the ocean.

You got addicted- your aunt almost called the police one night because she thought you got kidnapped- but she went down to ocean and found you there, swimming in the pitch black waves. She literally almost had a heart attack- but she knows better than to stop you. It helps you.

Now your muscles were taught, your personality was back, and you could think clearer than before.

“Im glad your home,” you say softly, putting your head in the crook of his neck.

“When Im with you…. Im home,” he replied, holding you tightly and stroking your hair.

You breathing hitched, hearing these few words that meant everything, but you breathed out again and smiled.

Realization swarmed you, your smile turned straight,, and you pushed off his body. LAnce was shocked and confused, and you shouted, “Where have you been?”

Lance’s blush deepened, and he scratched his neck- “Well, um- its kind of a long sto-”

“Getting busy over there LAnce?” a voice taunted in front of you; the voice was undefiable as male or female- but you recognized it at once.

“Wait is that- PIDGE?”

Part 2 comin soon!

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rainbowwindstorm · 5 years

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Part 1: Let’s Be Friends! Shall We?

*Note: keep in mind that in this part of the story, Iris still hasn’t gotten her powers or the magic beads yet. She gets them around her 16th birthday. So basically, this is sort of a prologue on how she met Mute*

It’s a nice, bright and sunny day and it is the first day of high school for many freshmen. Among these freshmen is a 15 yr. old girl named Iris. She is feeling very excited because today she is going to try to make new friends since her only best friend is her 17 yr. old cousin Cirrus.

“Hey Cirrus? What period do you have lunch?” Iris asks.

“I got it 5th period,” Cirrus replies back.

“Awww, no fair! I have it 6th period!”

“Pfft, well you better start making friends right now so you know who you are going to sit with. Of course, since it’s the first day, it’s gonna take some time to make some.”

“True haha.”

“Well, I gotta get going. I have history first period and it’s all the way at the end of the hallway. I don’t wanna be late. If you need any help, text me. Later!”

“Okay! Later Cirrus!” Iris calls out as she sees him slowly disappear from the distance. “Well let’s see what I have first period.” As she looks at her schedule, she notices that she has biology first period. She heads to class early since it’s better than being late. As she gets there, she spots a tall boy with silvery white hair and what seemed to be speaking with his hands to the teacher. Iris decides to wait outside.

“Look Mute. I know you are a bright kid. I want you to try your hardest and behave alright? We have astronomy club every Friday, in case you want to join. I see that you love drawing the galaxy alot from what I saw earlier at the back of the walls I saw outside,” says the teacher. The boy, whom we now know is called Mute, nods in agreement. “Great!” the teacher then pats his head gently. “Well you better head down to your first class now. Don’t want to make you late for it haha. And don’t vandalize school property! Remember that!”

Mute just playfully sticks his tongue out and smiles as he soon heads out. Iris then heads in and takes a seat in a random desk.

“Why hello there! Nice to see that I have an early bird here!” the teacher exclaims happily. Iris smiles back and nods in agreement.

“Yup! Um, not to be nosy, but who was that you were talking to earlier?”

“Oh, the quiet kid? He’s a freshman just like you. I spotted him vandalizing the back of the school walls outside and I had to give him a small lecture. He seems like a bright kid so I invited him to join Astronomy Club if he wanted to since it appears that he enjoys it so much. OH! And if you wanna join, you are also welcome too! I’m Mr. Orion by the way.”

“I’m Iris. I would love to join! I honestly want to make some new friends since my only friend right now is my older cousin Cirrus.”

“Great! We meet after school on Fridays!” Pretty soon the classroom started to fill with students and Mr. Orion starts his introduction and explains the plans they have for the school year. Throughout the whole day, Iris struggled a bit in making friends and before you know it, it's time for lunch.

“I guess I have nobody to sit with for lunch today. Welp..might as well go eat outside than sit alone in the cafeteria.” Iris then heads outside and sits by the bleachers. As soon as she starts eating her strawberry and banana sandwich, she suddenly feels like she's being watched. She turns around and nothing is there. “Huh...why do I feel like I'm being watched? Huh, maybe it’s just me.” She shrugs it off and proceeds to finish her lunch. After finishing, she gets up and without noticing her steps, she trips on a spray can.

“GAAAH-OOF!!!” she exclaims as falls and suddenly lands on something soft.

As she opens her eyes, she notices it’s the guy she saw earlier that morning. “OH. MY. GOSH!!! I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY!!!” Iris gets up quick. Mute suddenly grabs a notebook and writes on it. Iris looks at him puzzled until he finishes and gives it to her.

Dude, are you okay?? Sorry I left that spray can there. is written on the notebook. (A/N: the writing in italics is what Mute writes on his notebook and hands to Iris)

“Um yeah…? It’s okay. Also, why are you writing on a notebook? You can talk, right?” Mute sighs and motions her to give him back the notebook. She gives it back and within seconds, he hands it back to her.

Nope. I can’t talk. I don’t have a voice. If I try to speak, I can end up tearing my vocal chords. Ya see, I was born with extremely sensitive vocal chords.

“I see… Do you communicate with others through your notebook all the time?”

Ehh...it depends. I can actually speak through sign language though. If people don’t understand ASL, then I write on this thing.

“Ohhh, so that’s why you were talking to Mr. Orion with your hands!! It’s ASL. Silly me!!”

Haha yeah. I’m glad he understood me. It’s rare to find people who understand ASL nowadays. Do you know how to do sign language by any chance?

“Nope...I wish I did though. It looks kinda hard..”

It’s not really that hard. I can teach ya tomorrow during lunch if ya want. :)

“Really?! Omg! I would love to learn! Thanks so much!!” Iris beams happily and suddenly hugs him. Mute tenses up a bit and Iris backs off a bit. “O-oh! S-Sorry if that bothered you. I’m just happy. That’s all..”

It’s okay. I’m not familiar with getting affection and care though. But that’s a story for another day. Anyways, thanks. It actually made me feel happy and lighten up to be honest. :)

“Really?! Omg! Yay!! Haha!” Mute smiles and nods at her.

Yup. Well lunch is almost over. I better head back cuz I have art next.

“Oh okay! Same, I better head back as well. I have Literature. What’s your name by the way?”

Mute. You can call me Mute.

“What a unique name! Mine’s Iris.”

Coolio! It suits you. Well I better go. Bye Iris!! It was great meeting ya! See ya tomorrow!

“Bye Mute!!” They both wave at each other as they part ways. Iris smiled brightly as she headed to her last class. She had finally made a friend and she couldn’t wait to tell her cousin about it. She then gets a text message.

“Lol. Speak of the devil, look who just texted me.”

CloudBoy: So, finally made any friends cuz?

Iris: Sure did! I’ll tell ya after school! :D

CloudBoy: Gr8!! TTYL

Iris: lol ttyl

Part 1 COMPLETE

Hope you peeps liked it! Lol, I haven’t written stories in a long time. I hope it made sense. :P

#Rainbow Windstorm #iris sunshine #OC #original character #my story #mute #otp

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selectortechnix · 2 years

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If there is one strong lady i know personally is @jahmbykoikai She has gone thru alot and came out stronger than before and gave hope to so many many people. If I could tell her story I would write a book about her. Have known her for over 15 years and still counting and our friendship has grown tremendously. She has been like my sister and the chemistry between me and her while working as a dj and an mcee is top notch. Those who have attended our events can tell, need not say more. And so today i celebrate her Fyah Mummah Jahmby on her birthday. Help me wish @jahmbykoikai The Conqueror A Blessed Birthday. Today is your day and I'm wishing you God's blessings, favor and good health as you celebrate your birthday. Happy Happy Birthday Fyah Mummah Jahmby! https://www.instagram.com/selectortechnix/p/CZGxTMHsP0u/?utm_medium=tumblr

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spiffysixxsense · 6 years

Note

hi yes helllo, i am here to fulfill my annoying bestfriend obligation and make you answer all of the nosy asks

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

I love you too! Also why are you screaming?

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

technically, yes. I have class on Tuesdays at 11, which is later than either of my jobs start. But Wednesday’s are usually my one day off so tomorrow Im SLEEEEPINGGGG

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

Not a question, but yes I agree.

4: Do you have siblings?

Nope, just me myself and I.

5: How many kids do you want?

I go back and forth between saying having kids sounds awful, and saying I want to create a stable family life for myself and children. On a children kinda day, I would say at most 3, most likely 2.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Alex (here we go with the every answer is about @reddragon8000)

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Well, my boyfriend is 9 inches taller than me, however if he looks down and I look up I don’t HAVE to go on my toes. So to answer the question, I think no.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

I hope he would?

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My Grandpa :)

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No, it was at my door as he left my apartment.

11: When’s your birthday?

May 7th

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Yes, it was 2 years and 5 days ago♥

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung Galaxy 8

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

I am wearing jean high waisted shorts

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

Yes and no to be honest. I feel like 5 years ago I imagined being much farther in life than I currently am. Meaning I’m not as different as I hoped I would be.

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

Actually, sleeping for once.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

When I give a speech, I just essentially write a paper and then memorize it. So I would choose paper just to eliminate some steps.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Answered

19: Last night you felt…?

Stressed about the presentation I had to give today.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To graduate? I guess? Even that I’m scared for too though.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I honestly don’t think so. I have just not told them where I’m going, and not even because it was “bad”, but because they didn’t ask.

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

about 5.

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Buddy I am barely even a person. (I am SUCH a night person though.)

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

Diving in the grass playing volleyball.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Yes. (except the bot texts I get about congress lol)

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

I answer it slightly worried because he never calls me out of the blue, but happy to answer it.

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No, a doorway

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

My ex, probably.

29: How many months until your birthday?

10 lol

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Apples

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was fine, so sure.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

laying in bed on my phone.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Tell her to run. Or just leave because thats still awkward af.

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Not recently, Ill take care of him“

35: Your mood summed into one word?

Broken? Like mentally over it?

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

Listening/split screen watching to ASMR

37: What are your initials?

GLT

38: Are you a happy person?

Externally , yes. Internally, no.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yes, I have been dating the person I like for 2 years. lol

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I have never really thought about it because I never planned to live that long. Staying in Michigan is honestly fine with me.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes, 2 months ago.

42: What did you do yesterday?

Went to my internship in Downtown Detroit. Got Qdoba with my mom.

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

SLEEEEPING

44: How late did you stay up last night?

About 3 am

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yes.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

Depends on the moment. Sometimes nothing makes me laugh and other times someone can say pudding and ill crack up.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

No. You can claim youre friends, but it is never the same afterwards.

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Answered

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

Well I got with my ex of 4 years in august of 2012, so at least one.

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

I guess not.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Only once, and it was only the bottom half of my hair.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

No, the stress, worry, and insecurity would never go away.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

No, I was sick as hell.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

I mean I kinda always miss Alex when I don’t see him all day. Lame, I know.

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

Recommend how to take care of it, probably.

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach.

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

maybe the Upper Peninsula of Michigan? always seems cute and quaint up there.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

My family relationships, my anxiety.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Well my boyfriend and I got a flat tire on vacation a week ago? lol

60: Are you on the phone?

No, I never am actually talking on the phone.

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Forward.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

40k, could help pay for a car but this way I still have options.

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

Yes, when youre sober it is pretty hilarious.

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

Once.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

I can’t think of a specific time, but Im SURE i have.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

AT HOME. my favorite days are the ones where i never have to leave.

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

yes.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

I think so.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

At this very moment i took a 2 hour nap a while ago, so im okay.

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Given I am 22 with no kids, I am gonna say no.

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Of course? doesnt it bother everybody?

72: What’s your favorite color?

like dark teal, blue/green.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes. Sometimes without AC so as far away as possible while in the same bed lol.

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

Yes, anytime I am on the phone for some reason I am always looking for my phone.

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Y E S S S S S

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Sure, even though I am taken, it would still be a little flattering.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes, although I tend not to tell anybody everything.

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Alex does

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

1. 2 including my dad.

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship, but if you wanna one night stand then go ahead.

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Black

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yes, both in the not in my life anymore and not on this Earth anymore.

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sweet-suggestions · 6 years

Note

All the asks for you now fuck you

Welp this is my own fault XD BUT STILL FUC U

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

I’ve never kissed anyone so I’m skipping those questions

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

yeah!!!!

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

well yeah,,

4: Do you have siblings?

yeah!!! I have two older brothers

5: How many kids do you want?

I don’t know if I want children, if I do then one, maybe two

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

One of my best friends, she’s basically my sister XD @flyingdinosaurr

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

In a call? It was kat. Just messaging it was the fuck who sent this ask :p

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

-11: When’s your birthday?

22 march 200312: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung Galaxy s5 mini

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Right now just a very big sweater so,,

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

I fukin hope so, five years ago I was 10 XD

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

either sleeping or staring at the ceiling

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

write a paper most definetly

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

yes

19: Last night you felt…?

sick

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

either going to England this summer or going to America next summer

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I think so

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

like?? 5?

23: Are you a morning or night person?

night

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

walking against a metal table

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

usually yes

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

pick up, its kat. I call w her on the regular XD

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

I don’t think so

29: How many months until your birthday?

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

nothing, I don’t like peanut butter

31: Did you like this past summer?

kinda, its not over yet tho

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

trying to answer this fucking thing on my phone

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

depends on the ex, one I wouldn’t want to be in a room with. any other id congratulate, I might be a bit salty but I wouldn’t show it

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘I don’t know the months from my head’

35: Your mood summed into one work?

I don’t understand this

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

listening to music and talking to a friend

37: What are your initials?

38: Are you a happy person?

not really, I try to be

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

yes

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I honestly have no idea

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

jup

42: What did you do yesterday?

went to the store and talked to a few friends

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

going to two stores where they sell some animals and plants

44: How late did you stay up last night?

I don’t remember, I think around 4am

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

yes, multiple ppl

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

sometimes yes, usually no

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

yes

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

don’t know, maybe

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

I don’t remember

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

one of them yes

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

yup, lots and lots of times

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

not really

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

yeah

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

they wouldn’t give a fuck, as long as its not really ugly or badly tattoood

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

my side

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be?

anywhere that isn’t here

58: What would you change about your life right now?

my view on life

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

yep

60: Are you on the phone?

calling? no

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

back I think

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

$40.000 definitely I cant even drive

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

yes, almost dayly

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

jup, quite a few times

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

that’s the only time I turn in homework

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

at home definitely

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

juuuup

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

almost every night XD

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

probably

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

nah

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

yes, im too curious for my own good

72: What’s your favorite color?

I like all colors

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

so many times

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

yea

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

yes please, I don’t want you to struggle w it

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

yes, I have one online amab (were talking abt sex right? not gender?) friend who I fully trust

78: Does anyone call you babe?

idk, one of my friends sometimes

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

like,,,,, 3

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

relationship 100%

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

im wearing a light blue hoodie rn

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

yes

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starlight-seeker · 6 years

Note

ALL OF THEM ~~~~~~~

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…It really depends who the person Is lol, I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time and the last person wasn’t so great so I would kindly reject them ://

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

FUCK YES I SLEPT UNTIL 1:30 PM

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

It throws a lot into perspective. There’s a lot people take for granted and once you loose it you don’t realize until it’s gone and you can’t get it back.

4: Do you have siblings?

An older brother whose 9 years apart from me named Chris.

5: How many kids do you want?

2 probably, both more likely adopted.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Collin Aka Literal-Trashlord.

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Nah, person was shorter than me lmao.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

Who knows. I don’t really care weirdly enough lol.

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My mother.

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No.

11: When’s your birthday?

June 3rd.

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Not really, I kind of blocked the memory out lmao.

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Iphone S7

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Rn I’m wearing my work pants 😩

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

God I hope so, I wasn’t in a great place mentally then lmao.

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

LMAO THATS LOADED. LATELY MY GAY ASS HAS BEEN FINDING MURDER MYSTERIES AND BUZZFEED VIDEOS WHILE TEXTING FRIENDS AS THEY SLEEP.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

Paper definitely.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Probably. 👀🗡

19: Last night you felt…?

Fine mostly, tired and a bit sore.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To be able to go stargazing with someone close to me as well as get my life together hopefully and travel.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I think so. I haven’t done that to my biological mom at least 😂

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Uh…7 and a half hrs?? I went to bed at 5:35 and woke up at 1:30 pm.

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Definitely a night owl. Morning person Rarely.

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

I banged into my friends counter like a dumbass. That or I was doing a price check and hit into something.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Mostly though i forget to reply sometimes oof.

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

Talk to them casually, times passed and we’re still close beyond reason. ❤️

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No. I don’t really care about it 😤

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

Yeah, a few people honestly. Some I was extremely close to.

29: How many months until your birthday?

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Celery or Apple slices.

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was good. So yeah I can’t complain.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

Working and hanging out with friends.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Big oof. Honestly make the best of it?? Really no reason to get upset at this point.

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Get fucked, Steve.” (We were playin Yahtzee with an Ai)

35: Your mood summed into one word?

O O F.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

playing Yahtzee with friends and an Ai Whose kicking all our asses.

37: What are your initials?

K. C. M.

38: Are you a happy person?

Generally though I do struggle with depression but no big deal.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yeah, we’re still close friends.

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I want to travel around, but I would love somewhere quiet with mountains where I can see stars almost every night.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes. We went to a trampoline park and got absolutely lit jumping around. 👀🔥

42: What did you do yesterday?

I worked 2:00 to 6:30 as a Cashier otherwise I went home and chilled out 😎

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

Thankfully I have a day off tomorrow. So I’m probably gonna chill out and continue with ideas for a comic I might post soon.

44: How late did you stay up last night?

Until 5:35 AM.

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yeah definitely. I would drop everything for a select handful of people. Honestly I’d help anyone if I could.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

No omg. I laugh literally at anything unless I’m in a weird funk.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

Yes, I’m still alright with one ex. But honestly work it out and hopefully things will be alright. Especially if its a mutual breakup things should be alright even if they’re awkward for a while.

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Lmao nah. I doubt it.

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

BRUH YOU ACT LIKE I REMEMBER

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

Never wish that on somebody.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes I had it dyed Teal once.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

I doubt it. I’d have issues trusting them.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

This year shockingly was.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

Yeah, I miss my family a lot. I don’t really get to see them. I got to see my mom today and I was really happy. ❤️

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

My mom probably wouldn’t like it at first but grow to like it knowing her, she wants to get a butterfly tattoo on her wrist.

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach and side mostly. I can’t really get comfy on my back :((

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

Somewhere nice and fun. Probably star lit and mountain filled but still some hustle and bussle.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

Living situation, I love living with my best friend but sometimes I miss living with my mom?? Idk.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Yeah a handful of personal things. But I feel alright now.

60: Are you on the phone?

Yes

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Probably back, I’d rather redo a few days than skip and loose out.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

Probably 40,000 so I can give some and help others.

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

OH YEAH THATS AN EXPERIENCE

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

A few times, mostly when I’m stressed out or the situation is really tough.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

Yes. Especially when I forgot it and my friend came in clutch.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

I’m a mix. There’s days I love to be out others inside and relaxing.

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

It’s my alarm clock so sadly.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

Sadly, yes.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

Probably like 20 + hrs. One good ass nap.

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Looks at age. Uhm 😂😂😂

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Yeah. I’d rather the person come to me than hide it and talk shit. Even if it hurts I’d rather know and fix the situation.

72: What’s your favorite color?

I love deep reds but I also like blues and purples.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes a few times

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

LMAO YES. i was looking for my wallet once and panicked but i was holding it.

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Depending on the situation but when the questions dumb as hell or argument yes.

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Yeah. I’d rather know so I don’t accidentally break their heart. I’d rather know so I can confront the situation though still I’d be extremely flattered.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes.

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Yeah a handful of people.

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

A lot ????

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship. Never had a one nighter lol.

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Dark purple with writing on it from my college 😂

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yeah. Someone I really did trust and love. They did some shitty stuff and I had to break the friendship off but even now I find myself checking in on them now and again even though the answer is always the same or really cold.

#Guido i actually hate you #omg #bruh #this took a while.

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