#(several more adjectives in a similar vein)

[southeastasianists]

As one of the world’s top travel destinations, the impact of COVID-19 on the Indonesian island of Bali has received intense media scrutiny — and speculation. After foreign arrivals and transits were temporarily suspended on March 31, by mid-April most international media coverage had shifted from stranded tourists to those seeing out the pandemic in paradise.

Dozens of stories detailed luxury lockdowns and quiet beachfront retreats. After Sky News interviewed a British family spending their lockdown “watching the sunset and playing in a paddling pool,” Indonesians began to push back, including award-winning investigative journalist Febriana Firdaus who tweeted: “Can we just stop publishing stories on the matter of the tourist gaze? This is so wrong at many levels of journalism.”

With 235 confirmed cases, 121 recoveries, and four deaths at the beginning of May, Bali did not emerge as the coronavirus hotspot that contagious disease experts had predicted. Rather, it had one of the lowest fatality rates in Indonesia. At the same time, however, it has been widely reported that Indonesia has had one of the lowest per capita testing rates in the world, with Bali being no exception. As Indonesia’s total number of cases increased steadily — and the much-cited Reuters report of record high burials in Jakarta did the rounds — stories of Bali’s “mysterious immunity” caused consternation for Indonesian public health experts and journalists alike.

On May 12, President Joko “Jokowi” Widodo praised Bali’s provincial government for its handling of the outbreak, attributing the “success” of containment efforts to the island’s 1,493 desa adat (traditional villages). From meting out “social sanctions” like push-ups for those who violate nationwide mandatory mask use to taskforce members in traditional masks denying entry to those attempting to access closed areas, the efforts of local authorities, both creative and standard, have been widely celebrated.

After Jokowi’s stamp of success, foreign media began focusing on Bali’s timeline for reopening, but official estimates varied. Three days after Jokowi praised the Bali government and the traditional village system, the secretary of the Tourism and Creative Economy Ministry, Ni Wayan Giri Adnyani, said in a statement that the Ministry was planning to “revitalize destinations” in select parts of the country, including Bali, between June and October, while partial reopening “may begin” in October.

On the same day, the head of the Indonesian Hotels and Restaurants Association’s Badung Regency chapter, I Gusti Agung Ngurah Rai Suryawijaya, told the ABC that Bali would “hopefully” reopen in July. Minister for National Development Planning Suharso Monoarfa, echoed this projection on May 28, announcing that “we expect Bali will be ready to open for business soon in July.”

Predictably, dozens of media outlets jumped on the July reopening period, while others opted for far less click-worthy October. For Gustra Adnyana, co-owner of a library cafe in Ubud, the contrasting timeframes only fueled his skepticism of the reports. “It isn’t clear lately,” he said. “It makes me doubtful of the accuracy of the media.”

As the squall of articles on when tourists could return to their favorite resort island intensified, so did the severity of adjectives used to describe the impact of COVID-19 on Bali’s economy. As James Guild writes in New Mandala, “some of the more sensationalist [news items] tend to privilege the perspective of foreigners or use somewhat alarmist language to push a narrative of impending disaster.” He also notes discrepancies in reports of the percentage of tourism’s contribution to Bali’s GDP. Al Jazeera pegged it at 80 percent, while Coconuts Bali quoted the deputy chief of Bank Indonesia’s Bali office, who put it between 54 and 58 percent. The latter is in line with the Central Statistics Agency’s 2019 figure of 55 percent, which Guild cites.

“For me,” he writes, “this idea that Bali will die without tourists comes uncomfortably close to a White Savior narrative, implying that local people have no choice but to hunker down and endure this crisis until foreigners start showing up again to rescue them. Such framing strips Indonesians of their agency in rising to meet this challenge, something they are quite capable of doing and have done many times before.”

Community-led initiatives to help the nation’s most vulnerable groups withstand the pandemic — such as Donations for Transwomen Bali and Pasar Rakyat Bali — receive significant local coverage, but expat-founded charities tend to attract more international media attention. A similar sentiment was expressed by Shane Preuss in The Diplomat, who pointed out that “what the Australian media has missed is the resilience of the Indonesian people.”

He also points out that in the 2019 Legatum Prosperity Index, Indonesia ranked fifth in the world for social capital and first for civic and social participation, with the highest levels of volunteering of any country. In the 2018 Charities Aid Foundation (CAF) World Giving Index Indonesia also ranked first for frequency of donating and volunteering.

Meanwhile, Eve Tedja, an associate editor of a gourmet and lifestyle publication, believes that when it comes to local perspectives, foreign media coverage of COVID-19 in Bali is “very lacking.” She contends that “if there is more coverage about real issues as opposed to Bali’s ‘mysterious immunity,’ maybe journalism can become the motor to create the necessary change.” Tedja feels that the “only genuine voice of Balinese perspectives” is independent community-based journalism portal Bale Bengong, which “allows us to speak our often unheard and most often, reluctantly voiced, opinions.”

At the end of May, Bali Governor I Wayan Koster quashed speculation on when Bali would reopen, stating there were no plans to restart the tourist industry in the near future. As reported by Kompas, Koster has insisted his government is putting the health of the island’s population first. After a recent increase in local transmissions, bringing the total number of confirmed cases as of June 10 to 608 with 409 recoveries and five fatalities, he has reemphasized the ban on large gatherings of any kind, ordered tourist sites to remain closed, and urged residents to be more cautious.

The Indonesian Tourism and Creative Economy Ministry has declared that when travel restrictions are eased, Bali will be the pilot location for the Ministry’s Cleanliness, Health, and Safety (CHS) program. The program will be rolled out across the archipelago’s top travel destinations as part of Indonesian tourism’s transition to the “new normal,” although Bali’s Deputy Governor Tjokorda Oka Artha won’t be using this term. “In the context of Bali, I don’t call it the new normal, I call it the new era of Bali, which will change the paradigm of tourism in the future,” he said during the Indonesia Tourism Forum teleconference on May 15.

So what do Balinese want their island’s “new era” to look like?

Many are concerned about environmental sustainability and preserving the natural beauty of their island, which, prior to the pandemic, drew increased volumes of tourists annually. In 2019, international arrivals grew 3.6 percent from the previous year to 6.3 million, according to the Central Statistics Agency’s Bali office.

Putu Evie, a dancer, dance teacher, and member of Trash Hero Indonesia, believes the CHS program’s hygiene and sanitation protocols will need to address the issue of waste and single-use packaging. “The public still believes single-use plastic is the answer to maintaining cleanliness and hygiene, so there must be a change in mindset first. Whether we want to or not, with this pandemic, we must learn to confront this problem.”

Although the island has long suffered from alarming amounts of plastic waste on land and in its seas and waterways, confronting the crisis has only become a major government focus in the last two years, according to Andre Dananjaya, a co-producer of Pulau Plastik, a collaborative campaign tackling single-use plastic in Indonesia.

Environmental preservation is also a priority for Ayu Gayatri Kresna, a traditional chef in Bengkala Village, North Bali. She feels that the island “needs to consider returning to quality tourism, where guests appreciate and participate in preserving the sustainability of nature, culture, and traditions.”

Cultural tourism should be one of the foundations of Bali’s new era, says Jero Mangku Istri Alas Arum, who was ordained as a Hindu priest at the age of eight in Batur, northeast Bali. “There is a cultural and spiritual sanctity that we must maintain in Bali. When this is protected, tourism will be sustainable.”

Ida Bagus A. Gangga, a member of the Desa Adat Dawan COVID-19 taskforce in Klungkung on the island’s southeast coast, believes there should be equal focus on the health and safety of the population as there is on the environment. Similarly, I Gusti Krishna Aditama, who works for a national character-building association, says “the environmental aspect needs close attention, because this is where we work and live. If the environment is destroyed, where will we live?”

In a similar vein, hotelier Bagus Ari Saputra asks, “Do we want Bali to essentially be a playground, or theme park, where people from the outside come in and have fun in a plastic space designed for their entertainment, or do we want it to be something that serves the people who live here, who in the end are responsible for managing the development on the island and the preservation of its culture and natural resources?” Bagus admits, however, that “in the end, money talks, and custom decides which places proliferate or prosper, so it will always be a dance between local landowners, developers, and business owners on the one hand, and the tourists who come here on the other.”

Wulan Saraswati, an author and Indonesian language teacher for international students, believes “we need to stop looking at Bali only as a source of foreign exchange, as if Bali only comes from foreigners who bring money. Why don’t we also look at the other potential that lies within Bali itself?”

After the massive decline in tourism caused by COVID-19, which many say is worse than the downturn after the 2002 Bali bombings and the 2017 Mount Agung volcanic eruptions combined, Koster has declared that developing other sectors of the economy, such as agricultural exports, will now be a government priority.

This is welcome news for 24-year-old specialty coffee farmer and processor I Kadek Ari Darsana in Pelaga, Central Bali, who has also worked as a tour guide. “For young Balinese who are worried about the stability of a career in tourism, I think farming is an answer.” Ayu Sudana, also a young specialty coffee farmer and processor, shares his optimism: “Coffee is a great option as no matter what happens in the world, people will still drink coffee.”

As the island’s tourism industry remains dormant, I Made Ady Wirawan, head of Udayana University’s School of Public Health, notes the most likely tourists will be Balinese themselves. “This is a good time for Bali to prepare itself.”

When the island does reopen, he urges that “the new era or new normal must be in parallel with government efforts to increase capacity in testing, treating, tracing, and isolating cases.”

#indonesia #bali #tourism #coronavirus #covid-19

[stimland]

My Opinion on Person-First Language, “Having” Autism, Low vs High Functioning, and What the Autism Spectrum is

[NOTE: Originally posted to my university’s music education forum in response to various prompts related to teaching children with learning disabilities. The prompt I chose was about person-first language]

As an autistic person, I hate person-first language. It feels patronizing to say someone is a "person with autism" because autism isn't something you "have" or are "with," it's part of your identity. Our whole lives are structured differently due to the differences in the way we learn and understand. We're taught to hate ourselves at a young age for missing "simple" social cues and tone of voice (things that take us several years to learn), for our "obsessions" with certain topics (special interests), for our comforting behaviors (stimming), etc. Personally, I couldn't even fully understand the difference in inflection between a question and a statement until about 8 months ago. Even before I was diagnosed, I was subtly bullied for my difference in the way I understand things, the way I take things too literally. A lot of times I only find out that people are making fun of me by my friends noticing and telling me. Being autistic is a huge part of my identity, and it wouldn't be fair to disregard it as simply something I "have".

Some of my autistic friends don't really care about person-first language or being described as "having autism" but the majority of us dislike it. It feels more like you're trying to separate the person from the disability, when we are actually connected in a way that can't be taken apart. There's a whole culture of allistic people trying to find a cure for autism and portray us as unfeeling monsters who can't do anything ourselves (I'm sure you've all heard of Autism $peaks).

Being autistic isn't even really a disability in the sense of someone whose legs don't work, most autistic people struggle not for our "disability" but for the lack of awareness by the allistic people around us. At least there's a better understanding that someone with paralyzed legs can't walk easily or at all. (Of course, people with physical disabilities have a whole other can of worms for them. They aren't taken as seriously as they should be either, and I'm not trying to speak over physically disabled voices in making this comparison.)

Another comparison to be made, more toward the language, is with the LGBT community. You wouldn't say a "person with gayness" or "person with homosexuality" because it honestly just sounds weird. We say gay people, bi people, and trans people (Lesbians are an exception to this because the word lesbian is a noun and not an adjective). In a similar vein, you wouldn't call us "autistics" because it's considered rude, just like you (hopefully) wouldn't say "gays" or "blacks" (I'm white, so if any black people feel like I'm overstepping any boundaries by including this comparison, let me know!).

Overall, I really don't like phrases like "person with autism" or even "differently abled" because it seems to be avoiding the truth that many allistic people don't want to face: Autistic people are here, we aren't going anywhere, and we're people just like everyone else despite our struggles.

[NOTE: Reply on my post by one of my classmates]

Hello! Thank you so much for sharing this, I really appreciate hearing about your experiences and opinions. You are not the first person I've heard say this about person first language, and I've heard similar sentiments about the terms "high functioning" and "low functioning" when it comes to autism. However, it's still good to have this viewpoint confirmed by another autistic person! Your analogies are spot on and I'll be sure to incorporate the preferred language into my teaching.

[NOTE: My reply to the above]

No problem! Thank you for listening. I have a lot of thoughts about "functioning" levels too, I won't go into too much detail but the whole "high" and "low" functioning thing comes from allistic people's misunderstanding of what the autism spectrum actually is. Autism is a spectrum in the sense that there's certain traits/behaviors caused by our autism, and every autistic person is unique. For example, I prefer online discussions because the playing field is leveled so to speak, we can all easily misinterpret tone because it's just words on a screen, so it makes me feel more equal. However, my best friend who also happens to be autistic prefers real life conversations because he's spent a lot of time studying people to figure out "normal" mannerisms, so he feels disadvantaged online. These are both a result of our difficulty communicating and picking up on social cues, but we deal with them in different way. Autism being a spectrum just means not every autistic person shares the same qualities in our autism. The problem is that a lot of allistic people interpret the words autism spectrum to mean a high to low spectrum, almost like a ranking or scale, when it's actually more like a circle of different traits. I said I wouldn't talk too much about this but I ended up rambling a bit anyway. Thank you for listening though!

TLDR: Person-first language is patronizing, autistic people are autistic not with autism, high and low functioning isn’t a thing

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #neurodiverse #person first language #high functioning #low functioning #autism spectrum #my post

[gimmesumsuga]

Sweeter than Sweet (78)

AO3 link

Pairings: Jimin x reader, Yoongi x reader, Jimin x Yoongi, Namjoon x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jungkook x reader, Jin x reader.

Warnings: mentions of sexually explicit acts, non-consensual blood-drinking, self-hatred.  

Word count: 3k

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If the below gif belongs to you, please let me know so I can properly credit. 

Namjoon had never intended to stay this long when he’d stepped foot into her dimly-lit studio apartment during the early hours of the morn’.  

A lettings agent might describe the place as cosy but cramped would be by far the more fitting adjective.  A tired looking kitchenette, a slightly off balance dresser and a barely-double bed fill what little space there is, and whilst it may be sparsely furnished Namjoon’s thankful that it’s clean.  True, it’s a long way from the opulent surroundings he’s become so accustomed to, but as they say, ‘beggars can’t be choosers’.

It’d been the shade of her hair and the sway of her hips that had first drawn him to her, nothing much deeper than that.  Easy on the eyes, she’d seemed equally easy prey as tipsy as she was on leaving the club in which he’d first spotted her; her looks so similar to yours as she’d danced beneath the flashing lights that he’d sworn she must’ve been your twin.  

Of course, you have your differences.  She’s far feistier than you. She laughs louder and longer and had had no qualms in stumbling home with a stranger on her arm, lacking your coy smiles and blush, petal pink.  

“Oh fuck, Namjoon!”  Her voice was rougher than yours, too, he discovered.  Husky from her nicotine habit, he’d hated how harsh it sounded when she’d moaned his name; a problem easily solved by a hand wrapped around her throat.  It was all too easy to pretend she was you once silenced - even easier when bent over on all fours, his jutting hipbones slamming bruises into her behind.  

The strands of her hair had looked identical to yours twisted around his fingers but there’d been none of your gasps and keens when he’d grabbed in fist and tugged; none of your soft sighs or desperate moans.  It’d been a simple enough task for him to conjure them into his mind, though, and your doppelganger had been all too happy to let him drag her around into any position he saw fit - to use her body to live out all the fantasies he’d been saving up for you until both were utterly spent.

He’d considered killing her, then, and tells himself he likely would’ve done had it not been for a stroke of serendipity; a lucky coincidence that benefited them both.  Her apartment sits almost opposite the bar in which you work, it turns out; her large window providing the perfect perch from which to watch its patrons come and go, blissfully ignorant of any watchful eyes that may linger on their backs.  

Namjoon had fallen asleep after their tryst that night with the knowledge that his preoccupation with the woman curled at his side had cost him his chance to see you, but it wouldn’t happen again.  In the nights that followed, he promised himself he’d be sure to take advantage of the fortunate circumstance with which he’d been blessed.

She’d woken up late the next morning, flustered and hungover, and had been too concerned with getting to work on time to waste any she had to spare on asking Namjoon to leave.  Tugging on her coat, she’d hastily told him to make himself at home or see himself out whenever he was ready. What was hers was his it seemed, at least for the time being.

Really she was far too kind - too trusting of the stranger she’d welcomed not only into her bed but also her home.   Her naivety reminded him of you, and yet he couldn’t seem to hold that against her. There were much worse things that a person could be, Namjoon supposed.   

Perhaps it was an ounce of pity, too, that had meant he was allowed to stay.  Maybe she was more observant than she at first seemed. Maybe she’d noticed the shabbiness of his clothes as they’d been shed, or maybe he’d too obviously enjoyed the feel of clean, soft blankets against his skin.  It’d been weeks since he’d slept in a proper bed; falling asleep almost as soon as his head had met the pillow.

He’d dozed most of the day away after she’d left, rising only briefly in order to wash and dry his clothes in her machine.  There was no real reason to be awake until evening fell, after all, and a quick scan of her apartment had revealed little more than a few dog-eared issues of Cosmo in the way of entertainment, none of which he had any desire to read.  

When the time had come for your shift to start Namjoon had made sure he was stationed at the window, watching impatiently for your arrival with a clenched jaw and restlessly bobbing knees, his gaze flicking down the street this way and that.  With each minute that passed by the more agitated he would become, rising from his seat to pace along the threadbare carpet only to pause when your insufferable colleague came into sight, entering the bar as Namjoon watched on with clenched fists.   

Several minutes passed by before a roar of frustration interrupted the grinding of his teeth, hit suddenly by the awareness of an obvious oversight he’d made.  You don’t work on Sundays - you never have. You wouldn’t be at the bar that night, either, and the realisation made him very nearly tear out his hair in a fit of frightful anger.  

He’s no fool; Namjoon is well aware of how obsessive his behaviour towards you has become.  It wouldn’t be like this if only you’d paid his warning heed and left the manor - if you’d just let him keep you safe.  He wouldn’t have to watch you so closely if you were right here by his side.

Of course, the logical part of him that remains understands that after all that’s happened between you that safety is probably the last thing you’d associate with his name.  But that was a mistake; a stupid, terrible mistake he’d made when driven near mad with jealousy and blinded by blood lust. He hadn’t wanted to hurt you… not really. He’d just wanted to make you see.

Back to the present, and Namjoon is only just calming down by the time he hears the door to the apartment open and her voice calling out tentatively just after.  It’s evident by her wide-eyed look when she sees him sat at the foot of her bed that she’d doubted he’d still be here but she doesn’t seem dismayed by the fact; just the opposite, actually.  Her face splits into a wide smile and she teases him about not being able to keep away as she places a bag of groceries down on the counter, crossing the small space to come sit on his lap as soon as he beckons her with a curl of his finger.  

She may not be you but the weight of someone warm within his arms is pleasant nonetheless.  She’s an outlet through which he can vent all his frustrations, one he intends to make good use of, and within minutes of her stepping through the front door Namjoon has her naked and wanting beneath him, begging for him in ways he only wishes you would.  He’s rougher than is necessary when he takes her, he thinks, but that only seems to make her crave him all the more; clawing at his back and burying her face in the crook of his neck, lavishing kisses upon his skin.

She doesn’t hear him grunt your name under his breath as he cums and fills her carelessly with his seed, too preoccupied with her own pleasure to realise that his mind is elsewhere, with someone else.  Perhaps she wouldn’t care even if she did.

He wishes that his mind were able to always stay so blissfully distracted, but as soon as he rolls off of her body and onto his back it soon begins to race along to the tune of their laboured breaths.  Realistically, Namjoon knows he can only remain a lodger in her apartment for so long. It’ll start looking odd if he tries to linger any longer than just one more night, regardless of how hospitable she may be.  Perhaps he should just remove the problem entirely. If he were to do that then he could stay as long as he likes; watch your comings and goings as much as he pleases.

Namjoon turns his head to the side and watches her for a moment, eyeing his host’s profile.  Her ample chest is heaving up and down as she catches her breath following tonight’s exertions, her eyes closed and a sated smile stretching out her lips.  He’s worn her out so well that he can hear the blood thumping through her veins with every bounding pulse - a sinful siren call - and the sight of her jugular throbbing beneath her skin has a famished Namjoon very nearly groaning aloud with hunger.  

It’s been too long since he last fed.  Cast out of his home, he’s had to resort to snatching mere mouthfuls from those who least likely to remember or be believed; drunks and bums and other such undesirables.  Each one has left a bad taste in his mouth, enough to stave off hunger but never truly satisfy. Part of him wonders if any blood other than yours ever will, now he’s learnt what heaven tastes like.  

Unable to resist the call, Namjoon slots himself against her side and buries his head into the crook of her neck, one arm around her waist to pull her naked form flush with his.  The fragrance of her perfume lingers on her skin; a somewhat spicier scent than yours but by no means unpleasant. He nuzzles into her and she laughs, unalarmed, and why should she be?  She has no idea of his nefarious nature, nor how close to danger she really lies.

“You know,” she smiles, planting a kiss to the top of his head, “I hadn't really expected someone like you to be so cuddly.”   Namjoon chuckles wryly in response to that and places a kiss of his own to her slender neck, tightening his grip around her waist.

“Someone like me?” he queries curiously.

“Yeah, you know; tall, dark-” Namjoon tilts his head up to meet her eyes, surprised by the warmth that greets him there. “- Devastatingly handsome.”  He laughs again at the sight of her cheesy grin, tucking his head back into the gentle slope of her neck.

It reminds him of something you would say; a sweet, stupid joke that’d make you blush as soon as it falls from your lips, eyes twinkling.

“I’m full of surprises,” he murmurs lowly, the timbre of his voice making her squirm a little in his arms, her thighs pressing together.  If only she knew what dark secret to which he’s referring - the same secret that has him kissing his way down her jugular, lips pressed to her pulse and fangs aching with desire.  

She hums contentedly, arching her body into his and tilting her head to the side in encouragement of his affections.  

“Joon…” she sighs softly and he feels her fingers running through his hair, too-long nails dragging at the roots.   Her pulse begins to race with excitement and the sound of it thudding through her veins is what proves to be Namjoon’s final undoing, able to resist no longer.  

His draws his lips back to bare his pointed teeth, digging his fingers into her flesh as he plunges; embedding them into her neck.  

Her reaction is both uninhibited and instantaneous; her soft limbs turning rigid as agony hits like lightning and her shrieks of terror fill the apartment, bouncing off the walls.  Molten copper gliding across his tongue and slipping down his throat - warm, rich and thick - Namjoon tries his best to shut them out, keeps his eyes tightly closed as he rhythmically draws his nourishment from her veins.  

It’s hard, though, when he feels her tugging at his hair and then shoving against his chest, kicking her legs in a fruitless attempt to get away.  All the while she’s screaming, crying, and he’s not had anyone fight him like this since he fed on you. He barely even realises the fervour with which he’d begun to feast is already waning, frowning distractedly as he sucks at her wounds and pins her to the bed with his far larger frame.

“No, stop, please!” she cries, and it feels all too familiar; all too visceral, all too raw.  “Please, d-don’t!” she begs through tears, “Namjoon!”

It was a mistake to purposefully seek out someone so like you, he sees that now.  As her naked body writhes in agony beneath him it’s your cries of pain rather than hers that Namjoon hears; it’s your tear-streaked face he sees behind his eyelids.  Unbidden, the memory makes it feels as though his ribcage is constricting around his lungs - a sucker punch right into his sternum - and the nectar that was at first so exquisite now tastes bitter as it passes over his tongue.  

He doesn’t want to remember what he did to you; doesn’t want to have to live it all over again.  He never intended to hurt someone he cares about so deeply or lay yet another relationship to ruin, and yet that’s all he ever seems capable of doing, isn’t it?  It’s a struggle to remember a single person that he’s loved whom he hasn’t let down; you, his parents, his brothers. Each one pains him to recall, but none so much as the first shameful failure from which all of this started; his inability to save his precious sister from a fate she’d done so little to deserve.  

It should have been him.  He should’ve been the one to die - to wither away in a hospital bed so she could live on and become a far greater person that he could ever hope to be.  What would she make of the despicable creature he’s become? The answer is painfully obvious, really. She’d hate him, maybe even more than Namjoon hates himself, and deep down he knows he’d deserve it. There’s nothing separating him now from the monster that’d preyed on his vulnerability, used his desperation to lure him and then so cruelly inflicted him with this curse.    

He’s no better than that.  His betrayal of his brothers and his attacking you finally proved it once and for all.   Truly, he’s little more than a monster.

The remorse that consumes him is so potent it makes him feel as though he’s drowning in the blood he’s stolen from her.  He chokes on the next mouthful, the sound of your pitiful cries still ringing in his ears as he lurches away. So hard does he cough and splutter that crimson droplets splatter across her sheets like some macabre piece of art, and as he struggles to catch his breath he can hear her sobbing and scrambling to get away - a thud as she feels to the floor in her haste to flee from the demon in her bed.  

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon chokes out, “God I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t even realise the sob that follows is his own until he puts his head in his hands and tears wet his palms.  His chest heaves with the weight of them, the passageways of his throat becoming raw with all the rambling apologies that follow and the heavy sobs that rip through it.  

“J-just… p-please,” he hears her say in a weak and trembling voice.  Namjoon looks up - her blood drying on his lips - and is horrified by the sight that greets him; his victim cowering naked in the very furthest corner of the room.  The hand that’s pressed to her neck is stained sticky red, tears flowing unrestrained from eyes that are wild and scared and staring. “P-please don’t hurt m-me.” She flinches when regret hits him so hard that he has to place a hand on the bed to steady himself.  “I w-won’t tell anyone. P-please, just-just l-leave.”

Namjoon nods his head because it’s all he can seem to bring himself to do, tearing his eyes from her and rising from the bed as if on autopilot.  He scrubs the blood from around his mouth with the back of his hand as he searches for his clothes and pulls them on, each whimper and sniffle that he hears threatening to start his own tears anew.

He’s never felt like this before; never felt such remorse for doing what comes so naturally to his kind save for the one occasion that he fed from you.  And that’s the problem, it seems. Ever since that time, no longer can he feed without your face appearing in his mind. He can’t enjoy it the way that he once did, too preoccupied with the memory of the shame and the sadness that overwhelmed him following the expulsion from his home.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon repeats once more, his palms extended toward her as if trying to soothe a wounded animal, placating.  “I give you my word - you won’t ever see me again,” he promises, fleeing out into the night so that he need not look again at the terrified expression that she wears upon the face that looks so much like yours.

Stepping out onto the pavement, Namjoon stares blankly at the bar sat on the opposite side of the street.  His thoughts are bleak; longing for the day he might no longer have to feel this way - no longer loathe himself to the very core.  He knows he’s deserving of the hate he’s received - there are numerous ways in which he’s earned it - but he’s just so... tired of it after all these years.  So very, very tired of it all.

The one singular thing that keeps him going is the desire that consumes him; to see you, to watch out for you; to make sure you never come to the same harm again that he put you through.  

Maybe, Namjoon hopes - Maybe one day he might be able to make all of this up to you.  

#bts #bts smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon angst #bts vampire!au #vampire!namjoon #kim namjoon #bts reader insert #bts angst #bts fluff #ot7 x bts #poly!bts #jimin x reader #yoongi x reader #jimin x reader x yoongi #vampire!jimin #vampire!yoongi #vampire!au #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #vampire!jungkook #vampire!seokjin #vampire!taehyung #vampire!hoseok #sweeter than sweet #sts

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 47

LISTEN TO ME — 0047

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.8K

Just before nightfall, as the sun was casting its last orange rays over the city, Yoorim and Woojin returned to the hospital. This time the reception was full, which resulted in more work for the nurses behind the reception desk. Luckily, they didn't have to stand in line to ask about Jinah and Jisung — although Chan had been spending all afternoon sending very detailed messages to the group they created in the messaging app —, as Seungmin was finishing talking to a lady, probably going over a diagnosis, and, when she said goodbye, he soon approached the pair.

"Shouldn't you be gone now?" Woojin asked and Yoorim watched the intern's tired expression, who didn't seem to have the slightest intention of taking off his coat and going to rest.

"It's fifteen minutes before my shift is over," Seungmin pointed out, laughing softly. He might as well pretend to be busy and idle until he could leave the hospital, as Woojin suggested, but his sense of responsibility wasn't that foldable. "If even Chan hyung, who should have left at four, is still here, why am I going to stop working while I still can?

"Woojin has to stop thinking that everyone is uncompromised just like him," pinned Yoorim. The oldest of the three was so used to having similar adjectives attributed to him that he didn't care. "But anyway..." her hands seeped into the pockets of her dark sweatshirt, cold. Although spring was approaching, the cold of winter was still bothering a lot. "Is Jisung feeling better or is he still the same?"

Seungmin bit his lower lip uncertainly. "You better see yourselves."

Personally speaking, Woojin hated hospitals and avoided them as much as possible. He thought everything smelled of alcohol and medicine and he also repudiated the strange feeling of sadness hanging in the air like a mist; so, many details of the corridors Seungmin led them through purposely went unnoticed.

"Nobody said anything else about Jinah?" he asked as they entered the elevator. Woojin had no idea how half of the university already knew what had happened, and that worried him. The way the news was spreading was completely distorted from the original, and even he, being gossip most of the time, was careful not to say anything that could be interpreted even more erroneously.

"She's still the same," Seungmin said ruefully. "Looks like her parents will arrive today."

Yoorim never understood what it was like to feel genuine parent-child concern, but she could imagine how sad and desolate Choi's parents were at that moment. Though she didn't quite understand love, either, she could put herself in their shoes and think about what it would be like to see her father or Hyunjin in a situation similar to Jinah's, and only the distorted image caused her an agonized uneasiness in her chest that extend all the way to Jisung's room.

Seungmin opened the door carefully, and just like the other two times, Han showed no interest in looking up from his own legs wrapped in a blanket. Jisung's expression remained indifferent and all his actions were almost as slow as the serum dripping into his veins.

"So far he hasn't spoken to anyone but Hyoyeon, and that was before he knew about Jinah," Seungmin whispered. "You can try, but I don't know if it's going to do much good."

Yoorim stepped forward and nodded to Chan, only then noticing that he was there with a college book on his lap. Then she stopped at a comfortable distance from the bed and reached for a chocolate on the empty nightstand. "You can eat when you feel like it," she offered, aware that it must be bad to settle for the dull hospital food alone. "It's your favorite."

If Jisung liked it, he didn't make a point of moving a muscle to demonstrate. Yoorim wasn't upset about that. She had known Han long enough to understand his way of dealing with pain. As when breaking his engagement with Chaerin, for example, Jisung closed himself and arrogantly dismissed anyone who tried to approach. Here, however, everything was so exponentially stronger that he could not even utter any cursing whatsoever, and that was what really worried Yoorim. Suffering in silence was synonymous with drowning in your own ocean, alone.

"I suck at giving advice, you know that..." Woojin began, serious as it rarely happened. "But I think you have to think positive... According to my general knowledge of our friendship contract, I imagine you have already blamed yourself and been desperate because you're full of negative thoughts. And I also know that a coma is far from just a cold, but perhaps not as bad as it seems," he paused, checking Han's features to see if he was not accidentally making things worse, but Jisung remained neutral. "I can't tell you "relax, she'll wake up in a moment", because no one knows when this will happen, but nurturing the hope that everything will work out is much better than nurturing frustration in thinking it won't... Jinah needs you more than you need her, Sung. You have to be fine to help her out of this."

"I never thought I'd say that in my life, but I agree with Woojin" Chan got up from the couch and hugged the book to his chest. "Several studies point out that the line between consciousness and unconsciousness is thinner than you might think. I don't know if this is the case with Jinah, but there are people who go into a coma and still hear what others say and even respond in their own way. It's a way to help revitalize some damaged parts of the brain and it does very, very well."

"Don't interpret what we said as if we were trying to stop you from suffering, that's not it," added Yoorim. "You can and should suffer a lot, it is completely normal for that to happen, but giving up on believing is not an option, okay? Alright we don't even know what you are thinking right now and maybe the idea of giving up hasn't even gone through your head, but if this pessimism was there at some point, I ask you not to listen to it, oppa. It'll be all right and period."

Jisung didn't answer, but Seungmin noticed as he began to wiggle his fingers absently, perhaps pondering. The intern was still not comfortable enough to speak to Han as directly as his friends did, so he decided to just watch. After all, Seungmin was absolutely sure that Jisung didn't like him — and it wasn't as if he had no reason to do so, after all. Both approaching at the time of the accident didn't mean that the disagreements were set aside and now they were all friends. Seungmin couldn't forget that.

"Visiting hours have changed and I didn't know?" almost all eyes in the room turned to the door when a lady arrived with a white suitcase in her hands. She was clearly one of the hospital's most experienced nurses, and her smile was so tender it made others want to smile, too.

"It was my mistake, Mrs. Baek," Seungmin apologized, though the woman seemed to be just kidding.

"It's fine, dear," she waved a hand in the air, dismissing Kim's concern. Then she entered the room and left her briefcase next to the chocolate that Yoorim gave Jisung. "Only now I need to change this boy's bandages. By the way, weren't you two supposed to go home?" pointed to Chan and Seungmin. "Especially you, Chan. They said you could leave a long time ago."

"I'll be right out, just waiting for someone else to arrive," the future doctor replied, smiling small. "Be well, Jisung. You guys too."

Woojin and Yoorim returned the smile and Chan waved at the nurse before leaving. Seungmin also said goodbye quickly when he received a message from Chaerin, who would always pick him up at the end of the day, saying that she had arrived. The Canadian was going through the same dilemma as her boyfriend, and although worried, she didn't know if it would be good for Jisung to have her so close all of a sudden; so she was content only to ask and send positive thoughts to both Han and Jinah.

When Mrs. Baek opened the bag full of cotton, medicine bottles, bandages and a multitude of other products to make a good dressing, Yoorim chose to give Jisung more privacy, while Woojin didn't want to risk fainting if he saw blood, and so they went toward the waiting room on the floor, not far from the bedroom. Halfway through, Kim snapped his tongue in the roof of his mouth, and Heo knew he was about to ask something.

"What did you think?"

"He needs some time," Yoorim answered after a few seconds in silence. Woojin didn't need to be completely clear for anyone to understand that she was referring to the way Jisung was acting. "That took everyone by surprise, it really is a bit astonishing for anyone."

Woojin nodded and said nothing more about it. If he himself who had not even spent so much time with Jinah had been affected to the point that he could not even work without his mind often flooded with the same subject, then, Jisung must have been a complete mess.

The matter came to an end early when someone entered the waiting room with the speed of a rocket. Yoorim felt sick to realize that it was Yeji. It got worse as she grew closer, and Heo could feel the intensity of her angry glare, which, from so many people, was aimed solely at her.

"The analysis of the fingerprints found on the ring that caused part of the accident is now ready," she used her firmer tone of voice to emphasize each syllable, not even offering a good night before throwing the bomb. "They're all yours, Yoorim."

Woojin gasped as Yoorim went pale as a sheet of paper. Everything turned in Heo's head and she couldn't even express a reaction before Kim finally stopped coughing.

"What do you mean, you crazy?!" Woojin didn't take respect for authority very seriously when it came to Yeji, but, this time, she didn't care and just shoved a paperwork into Yoorim's chest.

"The evidence is there."

With trembling hands, the youngest of the three pushed the papers away from her chest and ran her teary eyes over the photos and paragraphs filled with relevant information contained in the sheets. The report proved that yes, the fingerprints were hers, but it made no sense! Millions of questions screamed in her mind, so deafening that she couldn't even tell them apart.

And without even letting her try to find herself in the confusion, Yeji, her voice dripping with camouflaged pride, pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her uniform pocket and finished announcing:

"Heo Yoorim, you are under arrest for attempted double murder."

a/n: first, I need to apologize. I should have posted yesterday, right? but well, yesterday there was a big rain and I ended up without internet all day, so that's why. but now here is another chapter for you guys!

and what pissed me off the most in the last chapter was the lack of depth in jisung's feelings, although it was planned long ago. it is my intention not to focus too much on everything he's feeling at the same time, because not even himself knows, and that is where there's the return of a character aka love of my life to try to help jisung. but anyway the description was horrible and I hated that ending.

in compensation, I liked today's chapter and this is a miracle!!!!!!! #protectheoyoorim

and well, don't forget that I love you guys so much, ok??? see you in the next chapter <3

#stray kids #skz #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids angst #stray kids fics #skz fics #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #skz smut #multifandom #bang chan #woojin #minho #changbin #hyunjin #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #seungmin #jeongin #kpop #kpop au #listen to me

[avoutput]

Final Fantasy VII Legacy || Remake Review

This is the 2nd out of 3 articles. Find the first here.

Enough with the flowery language. No more ancient memories of times passed. No more wasted passages on the origin of Final Fantasy VII. I am not some little kid sitting crossed-legged in front of a 13-inch tube TV, but a man sitting in a lightly used office chair he found by the apartment dumpster several years ago. I have grown. The gaming world has grown. And Final Fantasy has grown. But is it the kind of growth you imagined? Does this game shed the dead weight of its numbered younger siblings? Does it recreate an experience from your childhood? Is it an innovative gaming experience that redefines the RPG like its genesis? Is breathing life into one of the most provocative modern gaming death’s worth the exhumation? These are the questions swimming in my head while I waited for the release of Final Fantasy 7 Remake, a deeply marked touchstone in my life. And after having completed my run through the game, I had some thoughts I needed to organize and share. I need to decide: Is this a proper run, a proper update, a proper remake? Or is it just a repurposed chair found by the dumpster?

Let me clarify a few things. First, this is going to be a straight review of the game with little-to-no spoilers. Second, this is the 2nd in a series of 3 articles I decided to write, with the final article being a no-holds-barred, spoiler frenzy discussing the outcomes of this game and many other Final Fantasy’s. In this article, we are going to be looking at what the game did well, what it was mediocre at, and lastly, what was downright disappointing. Each section will bleed into each other a bit because the games components bleed into each other a bit, which feels a little odd for a JRPG, but this isn’t ye-old JRPG. Let’s get right to it.

RE-KWARK!-ABLE! I MEAN REMARKABLE.

Before we tear this game down, let’s spend some time building it up. The standout component of this game was very clearly the battle system. The transition is seamless and the frenzy begins almost immediately. What surprised me right off the bat is how easy it was to not only switch between characters, but how simply it was to tell them what to do. I thought slowing down the battle to issue commands was going to be a nuisance, but it really helped balance out the pace of the battle. You can assign 4 hotkeys that let you keep the battle going without slowing down to strike at an enemies weakness. I did find that it felt a little useless to assign anything other than your weapon skills, because spells take a little time to cast and most of the time you are going to want to pick a specific spell based on the enemies weakness, but that is totally up to your playstyle. 

In the vein of the battle system, boss fights were engrossing and detailed. It felt like they spent a lot of time thinking about which moments in the Midgar timeline would make the best boss battles and how exactly they would design the bosses moveset and structure based not only on what the boss was, but where the boss was. In one chapter, you fight a boss that is nearby some train tracks. At a certain point in the battle, it will electrify the track, and if you are standing on it, you get major damage. Enemy types also had a pretty consistent set of weaknesses, so you didn’t have to go into the bestiary menu to determine what spell would most likely take it down. But on the other hand, the Assess ability is crucial in understanding some of the more minute methods to hitting the enemy weakness. It was actually a delight to try and fight both with and without it. Like everything else in the battle, the menu comes up with a single button press and no load time. It gives you time to read and strategize your attacks.

In some other reviews I had been reading, people had complained about a feature I loved. Using spells and abilities requires you to have your ATB gauge filled, which will fill with time, but fills much faster if you are attacking. The complaint was that the AI isn’t particularly good at attacking when you aren’t using them, and not only that, they don’t receive the ATB fill bonus from attacking, it simply takes them time. However, because transition between characters is instantaneous, I believe that the designers did this as an incentive to use each character as often as possible. This isn’t the only incentive for this either. Every weapon for each character has a single skill that can be learned from it. To learn it, you have to use a skill. Again, to use the skill the ATB gauge has to be filled. Most battles in the game go by quickly, especially once you know the enemies weakness, so you need to build ATB fast and activate the skill. Without telling you, the game basically created an environment where it's not only necessary to switch between characters and learn their playstyles, but almost necessary. What’s more, every character is somewhat unique, especially Barret and Aerith, and certain types of enemies (flying or distance based, ect) are much easier to handle with the right character. All around, the battle system is an absolute standout and easily the best part of the game.

Without giving anything away, another strong part of the game is the scenario design. I was driven to hear more, see more, and do more in this game. The characters a crisp and vibrant, even when they lack depth. They are undeniably “cool” or “cute” or whatever their main adjective should be for the given scenario. The voice acting in both the Japanese and English versions are great, though the Japanese version from time to time has a different take on some of the characters than the English, it's still a blast. Every moment that leads into a battle with a signature villain is thoroughly enjoyable. I don’t think you absolutely need to have played the original to enjoy these moments, but more on that later. What it really comes down to is this game has some pretty great pacing because even when it fumbles, it doesn’t stop you from wanting to play more. The battle system element just propels you forward and hearing what crazy thing is going to happen next is more than enough to make up for follies.

This is sad to say, but there really is only one more exceptional item to mention. The return of Nobuo Uematsu. The soundtrack of this game was already pretty well designed in the original. Coming back to it was more than just a nostalgic walk down memory lane. It was like coming home and realizing your parent’s upgraded your house to a mansion with room service, a full staff, and a kitchen that's open 24 hours a day stocked with everything you desire. And it isn’t just that the music was remastered, it flows in and out of the game with masterful timing. Multiple versions of each song were recorded so that movements in the song crescendo at the exact moment your Cloud lands a hit or Reno and Rude jump from a helicopter. It made every moment of the game feel like so much more than just an average confrontation. There are a few moments that even made me laugh. There is a hip-hop inspired Chocobo theme that made me smile both for how odd it was and how awful it should have been received, but somehow it just slaps. If you pay attention you might notice some of the music is more reminiscent of other entries in the series with two standouts in particular, one sounding like Final Fantasy XII and another like Final Fantasy XIII, two very different scores. But it felt right at home in this modernized version of Final Fantasy VII. There is also a music collection sidequest that is mostly made up of jazzy remakes of classic Final Fantasy VII songs. These are less remarkable, but still good for the most part. Part of the issue with these songs is it is played through some kind of fuzzy record player speaker overlay, which I found annoying and distorting.

MISSED THE KWARK! I MEAN MARK.

I would say that almost everything else in this game missed the mark in some way or another. Some are just shy of a home run, others are baseline grounders, and some are just straight fouls. Either way, they could have used more attention or a different direction in my opinion. And I want to start with something I almost never complain about in video games: the graphics. Talking about graphics is usually pointless. People who are after ridiculous levels of fidelity always seem to believe this either makes or breaks the game. In Remake, that might actually be true for once. I am not a graphics designer, but one thing I noticed and couldn’t stop noticing is that there were so many different levels of graphical fidelity all smashed into one place. In some scenes, there were gorgeous details, like the entirety of Aerith’s house area, but then you get to the flowers, it's like 1997 again. In other moments, like when looking down at the Midgar Slums from the upper plate, it is clearly a very flat and stretched image meant to look three-dimensional like the other things around you, but the image was just off. Doors on buildings would look like garbage compared to the floor or walls in the room. It was just very clear that a once over on all the different assets would have helped out quite a bit. The problem wasn’t that the graphics were good or bad, but that they were inconsistent. It was like looking at photo-realistic drawing with some Picasso in the middle. The character models were so well done, when the interacted with this space, it was just jarring. Again, not awful, just missed the mark.

With such a well maintained battle system, you would think the menu system would be equally flawless, but it wasn’t. The main UI where you would outfit your party was a bit of a mess. For one, there was no way to go from upgrading your weapon to equipping it or vice-versa. They had completely separate menus for both that didn’t lead to each other. Then there is the upgrade menu itself, wherein you select upgrades in a similar way to FFXIII crystal upgrade menu. When you choose the weapon, it takes you to a completely different screen and makes this loud noise and transition effect. It's annoying to read and to navigate. You can bypass this by having the computer choose your upgrades for you, but that really felt like I was missing out. It would have been a huge improvement just to list the abilities and have me choose from the same menu I chose everything else. It was unnecessarily fancy and kind of an eyesore. Equipping materia got a small upgrade from the original game, wherein you can press a button to see and switch out materia with everyone, but this should have just been THE menu, not an extra button press. They also should have categorized the materia, letting you choose which type you wanted to look at instead of having to scroll through line after line. The menu also doesn’t give you simple information in places where you could use it, like what chapter you are in. To know, you have to go to the save menu. It could have simply been listed next to the playtime in the bottom corner.

There are even certain materia that are hard to understand, specifically the Enemy Skill materia. In the old game it would list which skills you had obtained. This one didn’t give you any idea what you had obtained and what exactly was obtainable. After a while I figured out that in the bestiary, although it would tell you which monster had a skill you could get, it wouldn’t exactly say if you had it. Turns out that if the skill was highlighted green on the enemy skills screen (another button press away), you didn’t have it, if it was blue, you did. Then, to see which skills you had in total, you had to go to the party screen and it would be listed under your abilities if they were wearing the materia. Not only that, the skill would have a different name than the skill the enemy used, the naming convention wasn’t 1-to-1. Add to this, materia sometimes have very obscure instructions or descriptions. The battles can go by so fast, it's hard to even notice the effect of them if something isn’t exploding or outwardly obvious. In fact, many of the instructions are weird in the game. If you die in a series of fights where they are linked, it will ask if you want to go back to the first fight or the last fight. Choosing the first actually sends you back to before you started the series and you can adjust your equipment, which is fine, but in a normal fight, if you die, you can only go back to the fight and it doesn’t let you modify your equipment. It's a simple inconsistency but the text and cursor placement also make it hard to understand exactly what is going to happen.

Finally, all the smaller issues. There are too many places where the game has you “walk” for no particular reason. You just slow down. I thought it might be due to loading, but it happens in places where no story or anything appears to be happening next. Summon materia is already maxed and it doesn’t feel like it helps all that much, even when the enemy is weak to them. The game design is set up so that whichever character you are currently playing as the only thing enemies are interested in attacking, especially if someone isn’t using provoke. So, your summon simply attacks, and to do it's better attacks, you have to sacrifice ATB. Mostly this is fine, it creates balance, but i’d prefer they came and left like in the original. In fact, I have hated all summon mechanics since FFX. They need to come, do damage, and be gone. But I have to admit, this is the best marriage of the two versions. Next, the choices you make that alter certain outcomes in the game are so far away from the thing you are altering, and at times not clear. This could have been more fun had they given you a bit more of control or some kind of gauge to show you what was going on, but in a way, it was true to its roots, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Lastly, having to aim the camera to interact with items that are just outside of its view is just annoying. That coupled with the random moments you have to hold “triangle” for a series of switches always rubbed me the wrong way.

DOWNRIGHT DISAPPOINTING… uh.. kwark.

Final Fantasy VII Remake obviously has a great foundation and pretty great framework. The music is great, it's a blast to play, and the characters really resonate. But there are still some aspects of this game that make it feel a little less than game of the year. These complaints might be less of an issue than I am making it. The game is what it is, and I am easily going to clock in at about 90 hours for both regular and hard modes. Still. STILL. There are just a few things that were completely disappointing, and not just from an old fan, but as a current gen gamer.

My biggest complaint is married together and baked into the design of the game, namely Midgar and Chapters. Final Fantasy has always felt like it was about exploring not just a story, but the world it exists in. In the first 9 entries to the series, this was done by giving the player a chance to get lost on its world map, looking for towns, roaming through forests. You had to use your imagination to fill the gaps, but that wasn’t a bad thing. As the entries iterated, the worlds got bigger, and so did their stories. They had lore and depth. With the release of 10, this all changed. In the 10th game, the story was suddenly on rails, the only direction you could move in was forward. It took all of the exploration away in favor of level design and pacing. I remember thinking that this was the beginning of the end for a series I loved. With the release of 12, it felt a little better, but mostly it was just an offline version of the massively popular MMORPG formula. It felt more rote and less like exploration. With the 13th entry, it was back to the rails. It began to feel like the creators sought only to make an experience where the characters and story where the vehicle, and the world was just the background. In 15, this would change somewhat, but it was also an experiment for them that ended in failure. They tried to give us an open world governed by a chapter system. But, despite their best efforts, they couldn’t breathe life into the world of 15. They tried to spread the world and its characters across too many dimensions. There was an anime series, a full length movie prequel, missing chapters introduced as DLC, and even a mobile game. A broken chimera. I think the success of 10 and their failure to create a modern, open world game is what ended up making 7 Remake what it is. A game on rails.

Before the games release, the game designers touted that Midgar was now a place that could be fully experienced. For me, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. It was just a series of narrow hallways masquerading as a city. The people in the background make noise and act like they live there, but they don’t move, goto work on a schedule, ride the trains, or even run stores. You can’t interact with them. They are just mouthpieces. Because the game runs by chapters, you have almost no ability to explore anything that doesn’t have to do with the immediate story. The characters will chide you for going the “wrong direction” and the game will outright stop you from wandering too far. “No no, you fool, the GAME is over HERE”. In the original game, Midgar is partially just an introduction to the world, characters, and battle system. But really, it was the beating heart of the entire game world and story just as much as the characters that live in it and run Shinra. The remake seems to have forsaken that in favor of story beats. Outside of a few distinct places, most of Midgar just feels like window dressing. Wall Market is obviously a delight, but the entirety of Midgar should have been like Wall Market. You should be able to get lost in the back streets or take the wrong train. Shinra headquarters gives you little glimpse into the way people on the upper plates live and work, but yet again they are just mannequins. 

Games today give you vibrant open worlds to explore. You can jump on rooftops and glide over large swaths of land. The way in which Midgar was designed leaves little to the imaginationa as compared to the original. The graphics are crisp and every pipe and air conditioner feels like they might actually do something, but you can’t follow that pipe anywhere or walk down alleyways and talk to vagrants. Old games got a pass on size and depth because their limitations were obvious, often baked into whatever the genre was. If it was a brawler, you walk down streets beating people up. In racer, you play the track. But RPG’s were one of the few where you would be expected to explore the edges of its world. With new generation games, the choice to stop exploration in a RPG feel less like a limitation of raw power and more like a  design decision. I would have preferred a game in which Midgar was a place to see and explore and interact with. Where I could haggle with one vendor over something found in another. Where I could watch the day cycle send people back and forth work. But Midgar wasn’t their focus. Telling you a story was. And as fun as that was, it was so disappointing to find that the original game gave you more by letting your mind wander past its graphical limitations than the remake did do by making the decision to limit your ability to physically explore visible areas. Instead of letting a visible wall stop you from going somewhere, an invisible force just puts a stop to your antics and tells you to get back to work. Maybe it's just psychological, but it is maddening. The physical world of 7 was just as important as its story and characters, but the story got to lead the show, and to me this feels off balance and off brand.

THE TAKEAWAY

This is a good game. A well made game for the most part. It's rough in places, but not so rough that it really hurts the end result. Final Fantasy 7 Remake is actually a showcase of talent that comes out of Square-Enix and despite the fact that I feel like they either bite off more than they can chew or completely misunderstand their core fanbase, they are still great artists. I often question whether game designers at big companies are customer service machines that should give us the product we demand or artists that deserve to create in a space that we support. Remake reminds me why I am both supportive but vocal. They may never hear me, but I want to know I said something. Still, it ends up being more than the sum of its parts. The game hums along like a well made machine. It takes time to remind fans of key moments, interjects tons of surprises that don’t entirely offend its base, and ultimately is never boring. What more could you ask from a game? Well, as it turns out, a lot. And I have so much more to say about the actual story content of this game and of Final Fantasy as a whole. If I didn’t mention some aspect here, it's probably because I want to discuss it in a way that may ruin the story, so look for the 3rd and final entry next week.

#Articles #Final Fantasy 7 #Final Fantasy VII #Final Fantasy 7 Remake #Final Fantasy #Nobuo Uematsu #FF7 #Review #JRPG #Voice Acting #Tifa #Cloud #Aerith #Barret #Jessie

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 18)

Weiss woke up in a hospital bed, warm sunlight beaming down on her face, the Eluna plushie nestled in her arm. She scowled, thinking that her plan was a bust, until she heard a bird on a post just above her head start calling out:

<Mender to Patient Schnee! Mender to Patient Schnee!>

The only thing she understood was her name, but even that was so heavily accented she had to struggle for a moment.

Weiss sat up, finally took notice of her surroundings. It looked like any other non-private patient room in Avalon, rows of similar looking beds separated only by privacy curtains, except almost everything was clearly made of wood—the frames of the beds, the posts for the curtains, even the walls and the floor seemed to be constructed entirely out of it, complete with the swirls and spots of the grain.

As she looked up and noticed the natural, asymmetrical curves of the ceiling, the shadows of leaves covering the holes in the windows, she realized the hospital wasn't made out of wood—it was the carved out inside of a giant tree.

She looked down at herself. The gown she was wearing was completely made out of natural fibers, as were the sheets, something she could tell after her mother and Mr. Sieben had personally taught her the exact feel of anything synthetic, or supposedly all-natural blends. The IV tube attached to her wrist was definitely organic, something she could tell because it was green, and gently pulsing as it fed her nutrients from what looked like a giant plant sac.

Weiss screamed, Eluna flew off to the side. She gripped the edge of the vine, about to rip it off, when a hand was put on her wrist—one made out of many pieces of warm, intricately carved rock, no joints, just green energy floating between where knuckles, tendons, and a wrist would be.

“I would strongly advise you not to do that,” said a young, female voice in perfect, unaccented Nivian. “Aside from the fact that disconnecting yourself prematurely will be extremely painful and cause yourself unnecessary harm, thanks to the vine already having taken root in your veins, it is also busy gathering much-needed data about your health, and any potential issues or allergies you may have.”

Weiss pulled her hand away. She looked up at the source, felt an unease wash over her like the first time she saw the Keeper—the unique feeling of seeing something like a human, but not quite.

The cyborg or android—she didn't know what she was exactly—smiled, the mouse ears atop her head twitching happily. She felt a pang of recognition, realized this was one of the two figures that had been there with her and the Keeper when she teleported in.

“Hello, my name is”--she said something in the same language as the parrot, with syllables and sounds that she wasn't even sure she could make with her own voice--”but you may call me 'Penny.' I will be your mender for today!”

Weiss blinked.

“Do you have any questions? I must warn you that, thanks to protocols installed within me, and the orders of Elder Goodwitch—not her real name nor title, but as close a translation from Actaeon to Nivian as I could manage—I may not be allowed to answer every inquiry you have, or in as much detail as you would like.”

“Where AM I...?” Weiss asked.

“In the hospital of the Bastion, one of the many settlements in the Viridian Valley!”

“And where exactly is the Bastion?”

“I'm sorry, I am not allowed to answer that question,” Penny replied, still smiling.

Weiss groaned. “Figures…” she muttered. “What happened to me?”

“You suffered from a case of 'Teleportation Sickness': nausea, disorientation, and temporarily altered perceptions from having been transmuted into pure energy, transported to a different location, then transmuted back into a physical being.

“Do not worry: even the most frequent users of teleportation magics oftentimes have to invest heavily in pharmaceuticals and other precautions to avoid suffering it.”

Weiss nodded. “What is this thing?” she asked, gesturing to the vine still attached to her arm.

“That is a”--another unpronounceable, alien name--”or, roughly translated, a 'Vitality Vine.' It is analogous to the intravenous devices you humans use to inject nutrients, drugs, and solutions straight to a patient's bloodstream, if they are unable to take them through other means.”

Weiss looked at where the vine and her hand met, saw bumps under her skin that weren't there before. “And you say it's taken root inside me?”

“Yes!” Penny replied cheerfully. “Do not worry; with the proper procedures, it will unroot and leave almost no scarring, and if it does, there are methods to heal them quickly and efficiently!”

Weiss looked at where the vine went into her wrist, at the sac that was the Fae version of an IV bag, then back at Penny. She wisely decided to leave it alone and sat back on her bed.

She scooted a LOT further back as Penny's arm stretched out, over her bed, and off the side, the tendrils of green energy holding her together arcing longer and longer from each end as she picked up the Eluna plushie from the floor. She reached out with her other arm and gently dusted her off, more of that energy doing the actual brushing and picking off than her “fingers” themselves.

“There,” Penny hummed as she placed her back on Weiss' lap. “Good as new~”

Weiss looked at her, then back at Eluna. She slowly, carefully wrapped her hands around the plushie before she squeezed it tightly to her chest. “… Thanks.”

“You're welcome!” Penny hummed. One section of her “wrist” split and flipped open, symbols and images appearing on its inner side like a tablet. “Do you feel well enough to answer some questions?”

“What kind of questions?” Weiss asked warily.

“How you are feeling at the moment, inquiries to your medical history for any allergies or conditions we may not find through the Vitality Vine, and any requests to make your stay more comfortable! However, we may not be able to honour some or all of them.”

Weiss agreed, and Penny began. She didn't know what bothered her more; that she was being interview by a mouse robot/cyborg nurse, or that it felt almost exactly like any sort of interview she'd have back at Candela, if her digital records were somehow inaccessible.

Penny maintained that cheerful voice and disposition the whole time, what she assumed to be written Actaeon glowing on the surface of her arm-tablet; probably for other people's benefit, much like the holographic screens of many cyborgs.

“Thank you very much, Ms. Schnee!” Penny said as the section of her arm closed. “This is extremely helpful data that will go a long way to improving your care, and the Fae's understanding of human biology.”

“Weiss,” Weiss muttered. “Just call me Weiss. No more Ms. Schnee, alright?”

Penny nodded. “As you wish, Weiss. And speaking of wishes: would you like to rest more, or speak with Elder Goodwitch? She has asked me to tell you that this 'Plan of yours better be good..' or something to that effect.”

“What, they didn't install an Actaeon to Nivian dictionary in you?” Weiss asked sarcastically.

Penny shook her head. “My creator did, actually! It's just that Actaeon to Nivian is not a clear, precise process, mostly because of the vast wealth of highly specific and contextual alternatives to words, as Fae are not as fond of adjectives or adverbs as you humans are, and prefer emphasis to be easily understood by sound alone.

“As an old, roughly translated saying goes, 'There is a world of difference between “Big Spider” and “BIG FUCKING SPIDER, RUN!”, and you better be able to communicate that as fast and as clearly as possible.'”

Weiss blinked, unsure on how to react to the failure of her sarcasm, and more so the implications of the Fae needing a single word to describe spiders of extremely worrying size.

She shook her head. “Take me to her,” she said.

“Are you sure, Weiss?” Penny asked.

“The sooner I can get out of here, the better,” she said.

“As you wish, then, Weiss,” Penny said as she put her hand to the sac of the Vitality Vine.

Weiss watched with a mixture of interest and unease as the roots within her wrist receded, before the vine itself snaked all the way back into the sac on its own. She felt something warm and sticky spread over her skin as pulled away, looked at the organic bandage of sort that had formed over the entry-wound.

She put it up to her nose and sniffed; it had a faint smell like hospital-grade disinfectant.

“The seal will naturally be absorbed into your body within a few hours to a few days, at the worst,” Penny explained. “Do not worry: it is merely being broken down into proteins, carbohydrates, and other organic materials to accelerate your body's natural healing process.”

Weiss wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Penny helped her out of bed, and lead her off to a changing room off to the side.

As they walked, it was hard not to notice that every patient and mender in the ward was looking at Weiss, quite a lot of them cold and hostile.

The nightgown Weiss had teleported in was cleaned and pressed, smelling faintly of sweet flowers, ones she couldn't pin down, if she even knew what they were. Because it was definitely not made for being outside of the bedroom, or being decent and comfortable out in public, she ended up wearing a simple white dress, with a blue diamond-shaped patch sewn just a little bit above her rear.

Where a tail would have gone, she realized, as she looked at the segmented series of floating blocks that made up Penny's own “tail” poking out from the back of her clothes.

It was comfortable; loose, soft, airy, almost like she was wearing nothing at all! And the moment she thought that, she suddenly felt very, very naked, even if the fabric wasn't transparent in the slightest and quite conservative in design.

“Can I get a jacket or something?” Weiss said as she looked at herself in a mirror, unconsciously tugging the knee-length skirt lower.

Penny handed her one that looked like the skinned fur of a wolf, if a wolf was several times the size of a fully grown-man and could glare vicious daggers at you even in death, its hollowed out eyes vowing swift, brutal vengeance at you and your loved ones.

“… You know what, nevermind,” Weiss said, suddenly fine with the almost weightless clothes she wore.

She and Penny stepped out to what Weiss assumed to be a side entrance, going down one of the tree-hospital's hollowed out roots and to an underground chamber. Two familiar figures were waiting for them, both armed:

One was the other figure beside Penny, dressed in lightweight leather armour and cloth, her cat ears warily pulled back as she put a hand to the sword around her belt.

The other was the Keeper, wearing a different hooded cloak in shades of red and black, but the same scythe resting on her shoulder. “Hey Weiss!” she waved with her free hand. “Great timing: me and Blake here just finished discussing our super awesome idea for your 'Kidnap You and Hold You Ransom' idea!”

“What is it?” Weiss asked.

Ruby beamed. “We're going to kill you!”

#rwby #white rose #fanfic #the keeper of the grove

[zackg623-blog]

Homework 2

Weston 1

Actors want to give a good, and memorable performance. However, in wanting to do so, they may scare themselves into holding back and becoming self-conscious. When they are self-conscious they are wasting energy that could be used on playing the role better, and making their performance worse than it could be. An actor must learn how to get their nerves and fears under control so it doesn’t negatively affect their performance. An actor needs to be willing to take a risk. We take risks every day in the real world, and act incautiously, so we should to take risks to try to elevate a performance. However, the risk can either lead to a great, and elevated performance, or you can end up “overacting”, which is often far worse than acting cautiously. And sometimes an actor becomes too obsessed with keeping his image, and after a successful risk starts to be cautious again. Don’t “sentimentalize” a character.

Many directors tend to be impressed by an actor with a deep “bag of tricks”, meaning those who can cry on demand, or go into a flying rage quickly. Weston encourages directors to look further than that and try to find someone with more feeling that just a few party tricks. It is important for the actors and director to have a good relationship as well. It should be almost like a parent child relationship. The actors sometimes will need reassurance, or constructive criticism, and the director can’t be afraid to give it. In a similar vein, a director needs to accommodate an actor, and their little eccentricities (to an extent) and help them be more comfortable with the role. Acting needs to be a real, and honest thing. You need to devote yourself and practically become the character. Feel as the character would, see as the character would, be the character, give yourself to the character, that’s when a great performance is made.

Weston 2

Weston believes there are five acts that are useful for giving direction to an actor and to shape performances-  Verbs, facts, images, events, and physical tasks.  Also that it is better to suggest to an actor how something might be done, rather than flat out tell them, as this leaves room for some interpretation on the actors side.

Action verbs are a useful tool. They differ from regular verbs in that they are involving someone as in “to accuse”, but it is more of an emotional action with someone else. He says “to strike” would not count if it were physically, but if it were with subtext then it would as an action verb. Actions verbs also work well because an audience can’t necessarily feel what an actor is feeling, but they can feel what they are doing. It doesn’t matter how the actor feels about how they are doing something, it matters how the audience perceives it. It can also be useful to suggest to the actor in the form of a verb how the scene may play out, rather than an adjective. “Flirt with it (roll)”, rather than “play it sexy”. The verbs also are often more descriptive directions, instead of the vague “be mean”, you could say “punish him” which shows how mean to be. Don’t waste time wondering if a character might do something. People are complex and contradictory, so one might do something that doesn’t seem like the type of thing they would normally do. However, if you can get the point of what needs to be done across to the actors, then you needn’t only use verbs. They are just a more helpful way of doing it.

Facts are one of the best ways to make a point. Instead of using your own conjecture, simply answer the question with a fact. Why would the character do this? Because that’s the kind of person they are. Not the best example but the point is, use what is stated as canon for the best descriptions. And don’t embellish unless necessary. Use facts to describe a character. Rather than saying someone is likeable, say why they are (Tom helps old ladies cross the street, and donates to charity).

Images are very useful for getting your point across. You have to make the audience feel, or make a linkage to something with the scene to really get an impactful image going. When one needs to display something, rather than spending time explaining the situation, an image may suffice. One that is significant to the characters, and that the audience can understand or relate to.

If you need an actor to play the roll in a certain way, you might suggest an “adjustment” to them. Tell them to act as if “everyone has bad breath” for the rest of the scene. And when it comes to the “event” of the movie, the director must be an expert on the script. This way when they need to tell actors how to approach the scene they can better direct them, and their advice can be in relation to the story. If an actor is struggling with delivering a line or scene a certain way, giving a physical task may be helpful to get them in the right frame of mind. Let’s say you need someone to be angry, you could have them punch a hole in the wall (a breakaway wall ill assume), or struggle to open a jar of pickles. Just something to help them distract from the words of the script to aid stiffness in the performance, if necessary of course.

Sometimes, when an actor is looking for how to play a character, it is better not to give them an answer, but to give them a question that might lead to the actor discovering the character themselves. I feel that this is a more subjective thing because often a director will know exactly how they want the character to be played, but it’s an interesting concept. But Weston seems to think it’s better to let the actor have their version of the character (surly to an extent) rather than coming in dictating every little detail. And obviously you should be able to answer questions if need be, and not answer every question with a question.

A character typically needs an objective in a scene, something to accomplish for the scene to continue, and whatever that is or whatever is in the way, they must fulfill their objective (then the article shuffled around a bit to the middle of some other thought)

It is good to give an actor an obstacle that they can relate with their characters. Put yourself in the characters shoes so you may better understand where they are at emotionally, or just creating a deeper subtext of an obstacle for the character gives a new light for a scene. However, he feels that the obstacle should come from the scene, meaning that the actors shouldn’t “bargain” with each other. “If you’re mean to me, I can cry”. He feels this drains the scene of emotional impact. I would think that a sort of healthy competition between actors can be a good thing, but at the same time, this would probably only benefit more experienced actors. Sometimes an actor will try to bargain with a director to change a prop, or a line. These bargains are really going to depend on the individuals involved, but sometimes leaving a hard line may force the actor to go beyond and better their skill so it may be worth it to leave. Sometimes these conflicts lead to a more memorable scene, like when Brando pushes the gun away in on the water front. Talking these issues out may lead to a great scene, but I imagine it’s not a very comfortable thing to discuss with your director.

“Adjustments can be a way of adding imaginative backstory to the facts of the script.” An adjustment is an “as if”, play the scene as if the other character has a gun, it is like a secret fact, an internal alter to the script. Another example, let’s say the character is supposed to be in pain, so he says to himself to act as if he just stubbed his toe really hard, or as if you’ve been pinched, varying on the severity of pain.

Subtext is very important. It is what someone says, but not necessarily what they mean. Like saying “I’m sorry” and meaning “I still think it’s your fault”. This is something we do in real life all the time so it would make sense for a character to as well. Like if someone asks if you are ok when you clearly aren’t, and you say “ya aim fine.”

In most cases I agree with Weston, the points are fair and logical I find myself having slightly different ideological views in certain areas, but what she says makes sense, and is a helpful way of viewing the director /actor dynamic.

Human behaviors-

1.      While playing a board game one of the players kissed the dice before each roll

2.      When eating with my family, I noticed my cousin absolutely refuses to eat any food unless he has some of everything on his plate (he’s married, not a child)

3.      Every few minutes a guy habitually would check a mirror and give himself a full checkup (teeth, hair, nose, everything)

4.      A guy in class kept on flapping his pen on his finger.

5.      A guy next to me was mercilessly chewing on his pen. Not a little here and there, but practically eating the thing like gum.

[ncmagroup]

Melanie Pinola

A former editor of mine once described wordy article introductions as “throat-clearing,” as in, this person doesn’t know yet what they’re trying to say, so they’re hemming and hawing before getting to the point. You could chalk it up to writers liking to explain things or the need to dramatically set up the scene, but when it comes to everyday non-fiction writing—especially on the web—it’s usually better to get to the hook as quickly as possible. The clock is ticking.

(Already I’ve spent too time on this intro. See what I did there?)

If you want to polish your prose—whether you’re writing a blog post, an email, or a report for your team—the next time you get to typing, consult this checklist of common writing mistakes. It’ll help you communicate more clearly and put the focus on what you’re saying rather than on stray commas or needless words.

Thanks to the editors, writers, and readers who chimed in with their advice for this post, which no doubt has several errors in it. Let’s just consider them Easter eggs.

The Most Common Major Writing Mistakes

When approaching a piece of writing, most editors first check for the big picture to do “macro edits.” Here, we’re dealing with the content of the story—how it flows, if it all makes sense if the tone is appropriate, and if there are any questions we didn’t answer that readers might have. I like to call this “defensive editing,” much like defensive driving.

After that, we can get into “micro-editing” for the nitty-gritty of editing for mechanics and language issues (see the next section if you, too, nerd out on words).

1. The Intro Is Unnecessarily Long

Get to the point. The example above isn’t as bad as my initial attempt at the lede (the first couple of paragraphs that introduce an article), but, at 152 words, it’s long by most web content standards.

To remember the urgent need to get to the point, keep in mind this excerpt from former Guardian editor Tim Radford’s advice for journalists (emphasis added):

When you sit down to write, there is only one important person in your life. This is someone you will never meet, called a reader.

You are not writing to impress the scientist you have just interviewed, nor the professor who got you through your degree, nor the editor who foolishly turned you down, or the rather dishy person you just met at a party and told you were a writer. Or even your mother. You are writing to impress someone hanging from a strap in the tube between Parson’s Green and Putney, who will stop reading in a fifth of a second, given a chance.

The lede is one of the most challenging parts of writing an article, report, blog post, or even an email or memo—and also one of the most important. Advice from all the writers and editors I talked to? Just write the thing and then after the piece is done, rewrite it as much as needed, which might be several times.

Melanie Pinola✔@melaniepinola

12 Mar

Do you write the lede first or last?

Joe Yaker@joeyaker

I usually write it first, then delete it, then write it last, then delete it, then delete everything, then drink some tea and contemplate my life choices, then I write something else entirely, and then I write it first again. So… first, then rewrite later.

5:45 PM – Mar 12, 2018

Twitter Ads info and privacy

Questions to ask as you’re writing or editing the lede: Does the lede make sense—explain briefly what’s to come? Is it supported by the rest of the document? Does it quickly hook the reader to continue reading? Bonus if you write for the web: Does the lede have the keywords you’re targeting for SEO?

2. Explanations Are Handwavy or Lacking Backup

That same editor who introduced me to “throat-clearing” ledes also taught me the word “handwavy,” which according to NVIDIA’s Jack Dahlgren comes from “the magician’s technique of waving their hands to draw attention away from the actions behind the magic trick.” It’s not that we’re trying to fool the reader when we’re handwavy, it’s that we haven’t provided the reader all the facts or steps they need to understand what we’re trying to explain.

So, for example, if I’m writing an article for the general public about transferring files between computers over the internet, I should explain what SFTP is when first mentioning it, since most people might not know that SFTP stands for Secure File Transfer Protocol and that it’s a way to transfer and manage files between computers over a secure connection. In the same vein, here at Zapier, we try not to assume the reader knows what Zapier is when they first come to our blog or what “Zaps” (our word for automated workflows) are.

Pro tip: Just avoid jargon, unless you’re going to explain that jargon. No one wants to feel like an outsider. Try the Hemingway app to test writing for readability.

Similarly, you need details to prove your point. If I state that exercise helps prevent colds, I’d best link those statements to research proving that point or to experts, such as doctors, who would back up that claim.

It’s about being clear to your readers and also making sure your content doesn’t have any “holes,” so you can establish trust. As Radford writes: “If in doubt, assume the reader knows nothing. However, never make the mistake of assuming that the reader is stupid. The classic error in journalism is to overestimate what the reader knows and underestimate the reader’s intelligence.”

Questions to ask as you’re writing or editing: Are terms most people don’t commonly use explained or linked to definitions? Are claims all linked to relevant research or backed by authoritative sources? If you were the target audience for this content, would it make sense to you?

3. The Content Was Written in Passive Voice

Passive voice is used too often by writers. Writers use passive voice too often. Active voice, as in the previous sentence, is more direct and stronger because the subject (writers) is doing something (using passive voice), rather than the subject taking a backseat.

Alan Henry, Senior Digital Strategist at The New York Times says:

By far, the most common thing I wind up editing out or changing is passive voice. It’s fairly simple to identify once you understand it, but it can be deceptively difficult to many writers to pick out of their own work, even if they go back and review their writing when they’re finished. If the subject isn’t clear, undefined, or you’re using verb tenses that struggle to describe the action taken by a person or party not named in the sentence, you’re probably using passive voice.

In the same vein, I find many writers rely too heavily on present participles (-ing words, for example) when the simple present version will work better, and engage a reader more directly. For example, “Bill was setting the table” is fine, but “Bill set the table” is more direct, active, and engaging, which is critical to make sure your reader sticks with you, your story, or your article all the way through—and derives value from what they just read for their own use!

Whitson Gordon, tech writer and former Editor-in-Chief at How-to-Geek and Lifehacker adds:

Passive voice isn’t always the worst thing in the world, but when it makes a sentence incredibly wordy, you’re doing a disservice to your readers. If you catch yourself saying “One of the reasons for this is,” or something similar, you should probably rethink what the subject of that sentence is.

That said, sometimes using passive voice does make more sense than the active voice. When the action is more important than who’s doing the action, passive voice is totally acceptable. For example: “My computer was stolen yesterday” is more fitting than “Someone stole my computer yesterday,” since it puts more emphasis on the event versus an unknown perpetrator. Judith Lynn Higgs points out:

In each of the sentences below, the passive voice is natural and clear. Rewriting these sentences in the active voice renders them sterile, awkward, or syntactically contorted.

Passive: Bob Dylan was injured in a motorcycle accident. Active: A motorcycle accident injured Bob Dylan. Passive: Elvis is rumored to be alive. Active: People rumor Elvis to be alive. Passive: Don’t be fooled! Active: Don’t allow anything to fool you!

Questions to ask as you’re writing or editing: Is the sentence natural and clear? Will active or passive voice make the sentence more direct and engaging? Try to rewrite with as few “to be” verbs as possible and default to active verbs and tangible nouns.

4. Too Many Words!

If you’re familiar with the Zapier blog, you’ve probably noticed that our articles are sometimes more like novellas than blog posts. While we’re fans of long-form content, we try not to be wordy.

It’s similar to the long lede issue: Wordiness within the body of the piece is beating around the bush. From Strunk and White’s seminal guide The Elements of Style:

Omit needless words. Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

Common culprits? Overused adverbs and adjectives, such as “very” or “actually” or “quite.” Emily Triplett Lentz, Blog Editor and Content Strategist at Help Scout, says:

Your writing will be more concise and persuasive when you lose the overused adverbs and adjectives that ultimately detract from the meaning you wish to impart. Does the first of the following two sentences honestly convey any more meaning than the second?

Two-factor authentication is very important technology.

Two-factor authentication is important technology.

To take it a step further: Any time you’ve modified a noun or verb with “very,” you can probably choose a more precise word, which leads to more powerful writing:

Two-factor authentication is critical technology.

Just like many people use “uh” and “um” to fill space when they’re thinking of what to say next when we write, we often use filler words—or, as Smart Blogger calls them, “grammar expletives.” Look for the words “here,” “there,” and “it” to spot them in your writing: “Common constructions include it is, it was, it won’t, it takes, here is, there is, there will be.” Before-and-after examples: – It’s fun to edit – Editing is fun – It takes time to write – Writing takes time – There are many people who write – Many people write – There’s nothing better than blogging – Nothing’s better than blogging – Here are some things to consider: – Some things to consider are:

Also, you can probably cut “that” from most sentences without changing their meaning, says Bryan Clark, US Editor at The Next Web. For example, “I think that waffles are better than pancakes” could just be “I think waffles are better than pancakes” or even better: “Waffles are better than pancakes” (it’s assumed that’s what you think).

In the sentence above, “just” could be edited out also. But I’m leaving it in for tone and color—just watch out how often you use “just” in a piece.

Questions to ask as you’re writing or editing: Does this word add anything to the meaning or the flow of the piece? Can you read the sentence without running out of breath?

5. The Conclusion Doesn’t Conclude or Doesn’t Exist

If the lede is meant to hook readers and convince them to keep reading, the conclusion is meant to neatly tie up the piece, so readers come away satisfied. Often, though, I see drafts where the piece abruptly stops, as if the writer expended all their energy on the meat of the post and had no room left for the conclusion (the dessert, in this analogy).

Conclusions can be tricky: How do you tie up everything in a way that makes a lasting impression? Triplett Lentz’s advice:

When you don’t know how to conclude a piece of writing, try answering the “so what?” question. Why should anyone care about this? How does your idea apply to the reader as a human being? Can you situate your thesis in a broader context? If your post is about how to work a 40-hour week, for example, use the conclusion to address why that’s a goal worth pursuing, or discuss the widespread problems that our culture of overwork creates.

The conclusion is an opportunity to ask readers to engage with you further, direct them to relevant content, or give them more to ponder.

Questions to ask as you’re writing or editing: What’s the takeaway for the reader, and is that expressed in the conclusion? Bonus points if you don’t use “Conclusion” for your header for this section.

Micro Writing Mistakes We All Make

Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon (t-shirt available on snorgtees.com)

Now that we have the major writing issues out of the way, let’s talk about micro issues—the punctuation, word choices, and other things that copy editors usually catch, if you’re lucky to have a good one. They’re little things like using “their” when you mean “there” or “who” instead of “whom” (although “whom” seems to be going out of style and there’s no reason to use it except for the trousers and the steeds, and “they” is becoming more accepted as a singular pronoun).

Nitpicky as the Grammar Police might be, grammatical and mechanical errors that are easy to overlook can make your readers do a double-take and perhaps doubt your authority. As a writer, I appreciate learning from readers’ comments to not write “alot” anymore, because there’s no such thing as “alittle,” but, at the same time, I’d rather the comments were about the content.

So, here we are. It would take years to cover every grammatical mistake or point of contention, so for now we’ll just go over the most common mistakes and point you towards more resources for diving deeper.

6. Heed the Homophones

“They’re,” “their,” and “there” are examples of homophones—words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings. Another common pair of homophones is “affect” and “effect.” The former is a verb that causes something to happen (“I hope this post affects people”), while the latter is a noun (“We tried to analyze the effects of this post on readers, to no avail.”)—when it’s a noun, with an e, “effect” is the subject of something happening.

Pro tip: The best way to deal with homophones is to create a mnemonic or memory aid to remember when to use which word. For example, I remember the affect/effect example by thinking affect starts with a, which starts “action,” while effect starts with e, which starts “end” (as in, the thing that happens at the end after the action).

For more homophone fun, head to homophone.com, a site dedicated just to homophones.

7. Apostrophe Catastrophes

We can blame many cases of homophone confusion on apostrophes, that pesky punctuation mark that turns “your” into “you’re.” The former, without the apostrophe, means you own something. The latter, with the apostrophe, means you are doing something or are something. Similarly with “its” versus “it’s.” “Its” means that thing owns something, while “it’s” means “it is.”

Pro tip: Any time you use an apostrophe in a contraction, where you’re combining the verb with the noun (such as “it’s” for “it is” or “here’s” for “here is”), expand the contraction in your mind so you get the subject-verb agreement right. “Here’s the best apps,” for example, does not work when you expand the “here’s” contraction—”here is the best apps.” It should be “here are the best apps.” Just don’t use contractions in this case.

As usual, The Oatmeal has a fun graphic explainer on how to properly use apostrophes.

8. Comma and Semicolon Confusion

Semicolons are a point of contention on our content-minded team. We either love them or hate them. Use semicolons to connect two complete thoughts together—more of a pause than using a comma but less of a hard stop than using a period. I used to be on team hate and agreed with my manager Danny Schreiber, who quipped: “A semicolon is just a confused period,” but I’ve been coming around to this punctuation mark; my teammate Jill Duffy pointed out Annie Dillard’s essay “Total Eclipse” in The Atlantic, which has gems like this:

It had nothing to do with anything. The sun was too small, and too cold, and too far away, to keep the world alive. The white ring was not enough. It was feeble and worthless. It was as useless as a memory; it was as off-kilter and hollow and wretched as a memory.

When you try your hardest to recall someone’s face, or the look of a place, you see in your mind’s eye some vague and terrible sight such as this. It is dark; it is insubstantial; it is all wrong.

(Hey, if you can write like Annie Dillard, do whatever you want with punctuation.)

That said, if you do use a semicolon, make sure the parts that come before and after the semicolon are both complete thoughts (with both a subject and a verb). “I love semicolons; but hate commas” is incorrect because the “but hate commas” part can’t stand on its own, while “I love semicolons; but I hate commas” works—even if you’re better off using a comma here. Which brings us to the next point:

Commas are the worst.

They’re the trickiest punctuation mark to master and a cause of contention when it comes to style. Should you use the Oxford comma (a.k.a., serial comma) or not? The Oxford comma, if you recall, is the comma that’s added before the last item in a list. So, for example: “X, Y, and Z” follows the Oxford comma rule, as opposed to “X, Y and Z” (missing that last comma). Those who are not in favor of the Oxford comma cite aesthetics and one fewer character needed. Those on the side of the Oxford comma cite clarity. Here’s a morbid example:

Basically, pick your side, and stick with it. But if you’re on the fence, go with the Oxford comma: It can help you avoid a lawsuit that hinges on a single comma.

From our blog style guide, here are other guidelines for using commas correctly:

Remember the FANBOYS rule before adding a comma: If you’re connecting two complete thoughts with a coordinating conjunction (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, or So), you should always use a comma before the coordinating conjunction. However, if only one part of that sentence is a complete thought, the comma is unnecessary.

Incorrect: “I’ll order the cheeseburger, but don’t want the pickles.” – “Don’t want the pickles” wouldn’t be used, in most cases, as a standalone sentence, so we don’t need the comma. Correct: “I’ll order the cheeseburger, but I don’t want the pickles.” – “I don’t want the pickles” is complete with subject and verb, so we add the comma.

Also, add a comma after “Also” at the beginning of a sentence, but don’t add a comma after “Or” or any of the other FANBOYS unless it’s followed by a parenthetical. – Incorrect: “Or, you could download this other to-do app.” Correct: “Or, if you want more features, you could download this other to-do app.”

Pro tip: Every time you want to add a comma or a semicolon, consider whether the words after the punctuation mark form a complete thought that could stand on its own.

9. Repetitive Words Repeat

According to Grammarly, one of the most common writing mistakes is using the same word often in a piece. Sometimes this can’t be helped:

But other times repeating the same words or phrases is a sign that you’re struggling to communicate or fully explain your topic without beating around the bush. Readers (that is, people) like variety, and, in some cases, the thesaurus is your friend.

Pro tip: Grammarly’s advice: Read your piece out loud, then cut down or replace frequently used words. When writing, ask yourself if you’ve already made this statement before in your piece.

10. Misused Words

Writing is all about choosing the right words in the right sequence to convey your thought or idea. Simple, right? The problem is there are so many words at your disposal and picking the “best” word is impossible. But some words are better than others when you want to get your point across and also be precise and accurate.

One of my pet peeves is when people use “less” when they should be using “fewer.” As in, “I have less readers than I did when this post was published”—it should be “fewer.” Use “fewer” when you can count whatever you’re referring to (in this case, readers) and “less” when you can’t, such as less readership or audience. Similarly, you’d say “less water” (not countable) but “fewer raindrops” (countable).

If you want to go down the word usage rabbit hole, here are the 58 most commonly misused words and phrases.

Pro tip: The next time you misuse a word and correct it (or your editor corrects it), come up with a mnemonic to remember the right word.

Sometimes writing “mistakes” are really style issues, up for debate. Other times, a writing error could trip up your reader. The most important thing is to learn from each piece of feedback you get, whether it’s your boss, a blog reader, or your future self re-reading your post months from now.

While these are the 10 most common writing mistakes we and our sources have seen, there’s plenty more where that came from, so please add your own insights in the comments.

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

  Write Better: The 10 Most Common Writing Mistakes You Should Avoid Making Melanie Pinola A former editor of mine once described wordy article introductions as "throat-clearing," as in, this person doesn't know yet what they're trying to say, so they're hemming and hawing before getting to the point.

[quranisgreat]

on being soft-mannered

Being soft-mannered is not an easy adjective to define, especially when adjectives are used to define other things. Yet, I believe that Quran delves into it and emphasizes it in many ways. With its inclusion, it becomes an obligation to understand the importance of being “soft-mannered.” Significantly, being soft-mannered is an important step to living a more Quranic life. 

Let’s clarify the term as much we we can first. One of Allah’s names, Halim, refers to being soft-mannered in a clear way. According to Wikipedia, Halim means “to be forbearing, mild, lenient, clement; to be forgiving, gentle, deliberate; to be leisurely in manner, not hasty; to be calm, serene; to manage one's temper; or to exhibit moderation.” In several ayets, we are reminded that Allah is Halim, as in 2:225:

Allah does not impose blame upon you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He imposes blame upon you for what your hearts have earned. And Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.

Sahih

In the case of Allah, Halim also means pardoning the penalty or postponing it for sometime. In addition to the definition of Halim in Wikipedia, soft-mannered includes (at least in my mind) affectionate, loveful, not keeping grudge, not getting angry easily, and forgetting the mistakes and problems for good. In Turkish, I would use the term “yumuşak huylu” to define this adjective. 

Being soft-mannered is not only a name and feature of Allah but it also a exemplary feature of a number of prophets, whose stories are in Quran for us to take as models. In 37:101, Allah says that he gives İbrahim a forebearing boy, namely Ishak:

So We gave him good tidings of a forbearing boy.

Sahih

Similarly, in 19:12 and 13, Allah says about Yahya,

[ Allah ] said, "O John, take the Scripture with determination." And We gave him judgement [while yet] a boy

And affection from Us and purity, and he was fearing of Allah

Sahih

Likewise, in 18:87, the people of Suayb tell him that he is soft-mannered:  

They said, "O Shu'ayb, does your prayer command you that we should leave what our fathers worship or not do with our wealth what we please? Indeed, you are the forbearing, the discerning!"

Sahih

As I said, since prophets’ stories are told in Quran for us to take them as examples, seeing soft-mannered prophets should also lead us into being more soft-mannered. 

Prophets are not only defined as soft-mannered. Their behavior reveals that they are soft-mannered as well. First of all, they name their parents and children in a soft-mannered way. İbrahim refers to his father in a beautiful and soft-mannered way in 19:42-3-4-5, by saying,

[Mention] when he said to his father, "O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all?

O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path.

O my father, do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient.

"O my father! I fear lest a Penalty afflict thee from (Allah) Most Gracious, so that thou become to Satan a friend."

Sahih

This nice naming is despite the father’s insistence to reject Allah. In 37:102, İbrahim and his son refers to each other in a soft-mannered way, as well:

And when he reached with him [the age of] exertion, he said, "O my son, indeed I have seen in a dream that I [must] sacrifice you, so see what you think." He said, "O my father, do as you are commanded. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the steadfast."

sahih

Moreover, in 12:4, Yusuf calls his father in a soft-mannered way as well: 

Behold! Joseph said to his father: "O my father! I did see eleven stars and the sun and the moon: I saw them prostrate themselves to me!"

Yusuf Ali

Naming is not the only area where prophets are soft-mannered. Other behavior is also revealing. In 9:114, Allah reveals us how İbrahim soft-mannered was, through his behavior to his father: 

And Abraham prayed for his father's forgiveness only because of a promise he had made to him. But when it became clear to him that he was an enemy to Allah, he dissociated himself from him: for Abraham was most tender-hearted, forbearing.

Yusuf Ali 

In other words, although his father did not believe in Allah, İbrahim prayed for his forgiveness, which shows how soft-mannered he is. In the same vein, in 3:159, Allah demonstrates how Muhammed soft-mannered is: 

It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

Yusuf Ali

Put differently, our prophet deals gently with the people around him, like the prophets that came before them. Again, when İbrahim hears that the Lut clan is going to have some trouble, he prays to Allah for a solution. In 11:74-5-6, Allah says,

And when the fright had left Abraham and the good tidings had reached him, he began to argue with Us concerning the people of Lot.

Indeed, Abraham was forbearing, grieving and [frequently] returning [to Allah ].

[The angels said], "O Abraham, give up this [plea]. Indeed, the command of your Lord has come, and indeed, there will reach them a punishment that cannot be repelled."

Sahih 

In short, İbrahim was such a soft-mannered person that he prayed for the Lot clan, although they were doing bad things. Other prophets such as Noah also have similar experiences. In light of all this proof, why not take these prophets as an example? Most people are not aware of these ayets, unfortunately.  

In fact, Allah orders us to be soft-mannered in a more direct way. In 17:28, he orders us to treat our families in a soft-mannered way: 

And even if thou hast to turn away from them in pursuit of the Mercy from thy Lord which thou dost expect, yet speak to them a word of easy kindness.

Yusuf Ali

This directive towards our parents can be extended, if we would like to bring peace to earth along the lines of Quran. For one thing, anyone who hears Quran should soften in heart and skin, as 38:23 says: 

Allah has revealed (from time to time) the most beautiful Message in the form of a Book, consistent with itself, (yet) repeating (its teaching in various aspects): the skins of those who fear their Lord tremble thereat; then their skins and their hearts do soften to the celebration of Allah's praises. Such is the guidance of Allah: He guides therewith whom He pleases, but such as Allah leaves to stray, can have none to guide. Yusuf Ali

What I learned is: if Allah orders us to be soft-mannered demonstrates us how to be soft-mannered, why are we still impatient, harsh and unforgiving still? What are we waiting for?

[thesrhughes]

Progress Blog: Random Writing Advice

New Post has been published on http://thesrhughes.com/progress-blog-random-writing-advice/

Progress Blog: Random Writing Advice

Is it time for another progress blog?  You bet!  Today, I’m going to give everyone some unsolicited random writing advice!  What will we cover?  All the stupid basics!

Writing Advice is Silly

Rule #1 of writing advice: shrug it all off.  Every writer seems to have different and often contradictory ‘rules’ about writing.  People generally agree that every author should have a copy of Strunk & White’s Elements of Style but beyond that, well, it’s just experience and opinion.  Some experience and opinion is valued more highly than others, of course.  For instance, most writers I’ve met (especially genre writers) have a copy of Stephen Kings advice/memoir book On Writing.  I’m personally a huge fan of Verlyn Klinkenborg’s Several Short Sentences About Writing.

But if we’re all being completely honest, if writing were a science, computers would already be doing it.

Thankfully, current AI only seems able to generate acclaim-worthy work with about 80% of the heavy lifting being done by humans.  So the work of the writer remains unmechanized for now.  Though anyone working in print should murder the hope of any sort of retirement, if they haven’t already.

Point being: this isn’t science.  It isn’t math.  And considering the ever-evolving state of slang, colloquialism, and grammar, particularly in the fast-paced American language, maybe we should be careful about marrying any specific rules set, especially early in the game.  But anyway,

Never Ban Words

Almost every writing-advice listicle I read includes a list of words to avoid.  Commonly, “don’t use adverbs” (see what I did there?)  Injunctions against filler words, filter words, and frilly words follow.  Passive voice?  Cut it.  Too many syllables?  Cut it.  Does it end in -ly?  You should be ashamed.

A sentence should be short, no?  Sure.  That makes sense.  But a sentence should also flow, describe, evoke, and build.  It should sound nice.  It should look nice, too.  There should be rhythm!

Arranging words is similar to arranging music.

Don’t limit yourself or box yourself in.  Step 1: write.  Sometimes you’ll use adverbs.  Sometimes there’s an aesthetic pleasure to multi-syllabic verbs and adjectives.  Even passive voice has its place.  There’s an old adage somewhere about moderation but who can ever remember it?

If you bind yourself too tightly with banned words and grammatical restrictions, you’ll shrink your toolbox.  You’ll narrow your knowledge.  Try, instead, to expand your toolbox.  Use fuckin’ everything.

But don’t bother showing anyone your first draft, because it’s probably awful.

Instead, after you’ve got it down, focus on

Editing, Editing, Editing…

Did you think writing was about writing?

Oh you poor, sweet summer child…

Writing is rewriting, as the saying goes.  Rewriting and rewriting and rewriting again, and then, once that’s done, revising and revising and revising.  Whether you’re self-published, indie-published, trad-published, or if you’re selling handbound chap books on the subway platform, it doesn’t matter.  If you’re selling your first draft, or even your second draft, you’re probably selling shit.

More than half of your first draft is garbage, I hate to say.  I usually start my second draft from scratch, from a pure-blank page, just to avoid using the same garbage prose of my first draft.  The first draft anyone besides yourself should see is your second draft.  More realistically, your second draft after a couple rounds of polish and revision.

That’s because you probably have a ton of stuff to fix.

A List of Questions, or: Fixing Your Terrible First Draft

Approach your first draft as you would approach a vile, pulsing heap of red-green biomatter squirming on your kitchen floor–that is: with revulsion, disgust, and a weapon.

If a small part of you doesn’t hate your first draft as soon as you’re done with it, I advise shelving it for a while and continuing to hone your craft by reading/writing more and more for a few months.  By the time 4-5 months have passed, you’ll have read/written enough more to be properly revolted by your earlier work.

Now it’s time to pick it up, examine it, and make with the stabbing.

I’ve prepared a list of questions for you to ask yourself as you stab.  It’s a list of questions I mutter to myself while editing and sometimes while I sleep.

Are these words necessary?  (for instance, “he saw the biomass pulse, its veins throbbing with red-black fluid” likely doesn’t require “he saw,” and it can probably be rearranged to excise the redundant ‘pulse’ and ‘throb’ verbiage.)

Does the sentence sound good?  (reading a manuscript aloud will help track down and gut all sorts of hiccups and arrhythmia in the prose.)

What is the sentence doing?  (are we learning about the character, action, setting, plot, etc?  What do these words contribute to the work?  If they don’t contribute, kill them.  Think of editing like a sci-fi dystopian world where non-contributors are casually slaughtered.)

 Is the meaning clear?  (an over-clutter of words, uncertain punctuation, or unclear noun/adjective/verb pairings can all confuse readers and destroy prose quality.)

Is this shit boring?  (as Elmore Leonard put it, “Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.”  As a director friend once put it: “The audience will forgive you almost anything, as long as you’re not boring.” — protip: if it was boring to write, it’ll be doubly boring to read.)

Is this repetitive?  (Does every sentence begin the same way?  Have you used the same word too many times in a page, or, heaven forbid, in a paragraph?)

Is there a volume issue?  (Does the lurid text border on purple?  Does the simplicity threaten austerity?  Are the words too much, too little?  This is the most subjective measurement, but very important.)

Why?  (Admittedly, I mutter this question to myself all the time, usually as a hollow whisper, a mournful murmur.  “Why?” I ask, about everything, about everything all at once, from one horizon to the other.  It’s also an important question about writing, though.  There should be a ‘why’ behind just about every word, sentence, and paragraph on a page.)

I think that’s a fine list to start with–though the more one writes, the longer and more complex the list becomes.  I do believe that covers all the basics, however, and some of the intermediate steps.

Don’t Stop

Write several times a week.  Read at least a little bit every day.  Take classes when available, if affordable.  Show your second and third drafts to people and don’t shout down their criticisms (it’s very important, when asking for criticism, to listen to it.)  Probably truer than any other piece of advice, “practice makes perfect.”

Read great writers.  For quality of prose, I adore Cassandra Khaw, T. E. Grau, and Leni Zumas.  For tight pacing, humor, and pulp craft, Raymond Chandler and Charlie Huston.  Victor LaValle mastered the art of music and aesthetic long ago.  A thousand other authors await your eyes, if you go looking.

Read voraciously and write viciously.  Edit with unparalleled self-loathing.  Brainstorm with fervor and madness, outline with enthusiasm, and write like a toothless speed freak.  Review your work like an IRS auditor.  Study the craft as if there’ll be a test on it any day now and you’ll be killed if you fail it.

That’s my advice.  To hell with banned words and meditation.  To hell with a thousand articles condemning adverbs and POV-filters and purple prose.  To hell with anything that constrains your toolbox.  Those tools are there for a reason, we just have to learn when and how to use them.

#author #book #books #literature #novel #writing