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spamgyu · 1 month

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Disconnected Calls // Seungcheol Oneshot

DESCRIPTION: All his choices to put his career and his team first never led to any regrets; all except his choice to cut his ties with you. PARING: Seungcheol x Reader GENRE: Angst

There was no one else to blame for his heartache but himself.

He was the one that ended the relationship.

He was the one that chose to do it over the phone – too much of a coward to tell you in person.

He was the one that chose to block your phone number and social media accounts.

He was the one that shut you out, not even bothering to take a second glance back at the relationship he once held so near and dear to his heart.

At the time, Seungcheol felt that he was doing what was right – putting his duties as a leader of his group first, prioritizing the band of brothers that he swore he would never turn his back on.

It wasn't that you were asking him to choose, no you would never do that. You loved those twelve boys just as much as he did.

Hell, you didn't ask for anything.

You were completely fine with being at the bottom of his list when it came to his priorities. You loved him, and you knew before entering a relationship with a member of one of the biggest boygroups in the industry that this came with a whole lot of baggage – you were willing to overlook it all.

As their success and schedules began to pick up, you were getting pushed lower and lower on that list – in fact, by the last few months of the relationships you weren't even on the list.

He had given in to the pressure of his role and decided to cut you loose – unable to balance his work life and love life. You wanted to put up a fight that night, he could hear it in your voice, but you didn't.

In moments of stillness, when he was alone with nothing but his thoughts, his mind would wander back to that night; his brain replaying the sound of his cold voice back to him.

"Let's end this. I'm tired, and I know you are too." His voice was monotonous, as if he was delivering the news to a business partner or a staff member – as if he didn't ever call you the love of his life.

"Oh." Seungcheol could hear your heart breaking from the other line, but he had his mind set and he was going to proceed with it.

"It was fun, y/n. Thank you."

"I– Yeah, you too." He knew you were holding back a sob.

It had been nearly two and half years since that day, and instead of healing, Seungcheol felt as though the gaping wound in his heart had grown larger as each day passed.

It was as if the pain grew stronger with each season.

He was the one that shut you out and yet, he continued to search for your face in the midst of a crowd – in hopes that maybe one day, he would see you again. Through all the mix of voices, he always tried to listen closely; just in case he could hear that melodic voice that was once his favorite song to hear.

Seungcheol knew he fucked up, there was no denying that; but he also knew that trying to reach out was of no use – not when he knew how badly he had broken you.

Feeling the couch cushion next to him sink in, Seungcheol turned to face the body that had occupied the space – pulling a tight lipped smile to greet his member.

"I– Look, I told Jeonghan that it might not be the best idea," Mingyu nervously toyed with the plastic case protecting his phone, glancing over to the older boy who had sent him over standing across the practice room – keeping a close eye on them two. "But he said you deserved to know, for– uh... for closure."

Seungcheol sat quietly, waiting for Mingyu to go on.

"She's engaged." Mingyu mumbled. He could have been speaking in jibberish and Seungcheol would have been able to decipher it.

Mingyu didn't have to say who; he knew exactly who he was talking about. You had been the one and only girl that had this effect on Seungcheol; everyone was well aware of that.

They knew the battle he faced every day in his head; the twelve taking turns giving him their own words of advice to help him possibly move on.

But there was no moving on. Not from you.

A ringing sound began in his ears, drowning out the indistinct conversations that was taking place all around him. Seungcheol knew this day was bound to happen, he just didn't think it would happen so soon.

Was this the reason why you never put up a fight?

Did you already have someone waiting in-line, waiting for him to fuck up?

"I– I tell them I don't feel good." Seungcheol shot up out of his seat, bounding for the door – ignoring all the confused stares from his group and staff members.

He was in no state to practice today... or tomorrow.

Or maybe the next few weeks.

Seungcheol didn't know where he was heading, all he knew was that the room that could easily fit a hundred people suddenly felt small – as if the walls and ceiling was closing in on him. The air in his lungs felt thick by the time he reached the threshold of the door, clutching the fabric of his shirt – his poor attempts to free his neck from the constricting feeling of the collar.

His vision was just about to go dark when he felt someone tug his arm, spinning him around.

"Hey," It was Jeongan. "Don't– where are you going?"

"I don't know."

Jeonghan scanned his best friends face, trying to read him. There was nothing but pain, painted across his face. He knew not a single one of his attempts to try to make Seungcheol stay would work. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Already did." He let out a bitter chuckle.

"This isn't the end of the world, you know that right." Jeonghan spoke slowly.

When he and Mingyu had found out about your engagement through a mutual friend, they stood in shock. There was never a timeline when it came to love, if someone decided they wanted to marry the person they were with after three months of dating, so be it.

Though, that didn't stop the two from being taken aback by the news – despite encouraging their best friend to move on from you. It wasn't that they didn't like you, in fact they loved you. They had only ever envisioned their eldest member with one girl, and it was you.

But what were they to do? This was the last and final sign that the universe had given for Seungcheol to move on.

"I know." Seungcheol managed to croak out. "I– I'm sorry I really need to get out of here."

Jeonghan nodded. "Keep your location on."

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

He had spent the last four hours driving aimlessly. Home wasn't a choice, not when every corner of his apartment still held memories of you – he may have taken images of you down but your presence remained. There was no getting rid of you. Not when his apartment had become your second home throughout your time together.

He couldn't bring himself to go to his favorite places either, knowing that those were once places he took you to.

Every part of this damned city reminded him of you.

Your ghost constantly haunting him.

Finally growing tired of the constant turns and u-turns, Seungcheol pulled into a random parking space – pulling out his phone to dial the phone number he had known by heart.

He knew there was no use in calling it; it had been disconnected months after the break up. He didn't care.

In all his moments, through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, Seungcheol gave the number a call – sending a voicemail out into the void. It wasn't the best coping mechanism, and if anyone were to find out that he had done this on a regular basis, they would have put a stop to it – just as they had done when they had found out he had still held onto the items you had left behind.

Seungcheol knew this wasn't healthy, but this was the only thing that kept him together – because maybe, just maybe, in an alternate universe, you heard all the messages he left you.

"H-hey, Y/n. I– today isn't a good day." His voice was shaky. "I found out you're engaged. Mingyu told me. I– I bet the ring is beautiful, if he had listened to you. I know how much you wanted that emerald cut ring– I hope he got it right. I– fuck."

Seungcheol coulnd't hold it in any longer, the tears had began rushing down his face – as if the dam walls had been broken. "I want to be happy for you, Y/n– but fuck that should have been me. That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to buy you that ring and– Y/n please I– I'm still here. You're the one, you've always been the one and–"

Just as he hadn't been able to hold back the tears, neither could he for his sobs. The pain that once was just limited to the area around his heart had now radiated throughout his body.

He had thought that when this moment had come, he would have been in a better state – but somehow, he felt as though he had been kicked down lower. He felt as though he had been stomped on, beaten.

Seungcheol had reached a whole new low.

It took him a few minutes to regain composure, using the sleeves of his black hoodie to wipe away the moisture left on his face. "This is it, huh?" He cleared his throat. "I need to finally walk away, huh? I– I need to move on like you did, huh?"

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

Unbeknownst to Seungcheol, you had been doing the same.

Somewhere across the city, you were sat in your room; suppressing the tears and sob that threatened to escape your lips.

This was supposed to be the happiest moment of your life, the man of your dreams (or so you thought) had asked for your hand in marriage.

It may have only been a year since you two had made it official but for the first time in a long while he showed you that it was possible to love someone agian; and at the time it felt right. You stopped leaving voicemails on a number that had been long disconnected – the one that you had memorized by heart.

But old habits die hard, and as you stared at the oval cut ring on your finger – the other hand had subconsciously dialed his number.

It had been a long time since you had done this.

"Seungcheol, if you're out there– if you somehow get this– I– I made a mistake." You said in almost a whisper, lips quivering as you began to speak your thoughts aloud. "He– I thought I loved him. I really did. He made me feel happy again, he– he treats me so well. But the moment I saw that ring, I thought of you– I– he got it wrong."

You eyed the ring as you sucked in a breath of air. "It's silver. The band is silver. I don't own silver jewelry– It's oval, not the emerald cut we talked about– I can't help but think that you would have gotten it right. I don't even know why I said yes– fuck, am I stupid for saying yes?"

As a tear escaped your eye, you let out a laugh. This was ridiculous; pathetic even.

All while everyone congratulated you for this new milestone, you were calling the man that had left you hanging – the reason for your tears.

"It's not like you would be here to catch me if I said no, right?"

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@thegirlwhoimagined @forcheol @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @niktwazny303 @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @livelikejinki @watercolureyes @whoa-jo @primoisellerose @wonwoobestboyy @rakshithanotrao @mingcouper @aksweet7 @nikkell @raginghellfire @kriizztin

(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)

#i did say that i was going to write my own take of how each boy messed up their relationship didn't i...... cheol girlies... it's ur turn #laughs in evil #ngl this one actually hurt me too #pls dont fight me omfg #scoups x reader #scoups scenarios #scoups angst #seungcheol x reader #svt angst #seventeen angst #seungcheol angst #choi seungcheol

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