#2) I think it would be different with someone who can't remember anything v. someone who can't remember one or two important things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jazeswhbhaven · 2 months

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Just Another Day in Hades...(Requiem of the Survivors Event React III)

Henlo again, third post time! Make sure you check out the previous parts before continuing! ->Part 1 -> ->Part 2->

Good to go? Let's finish this~

So we're back and this is final part to my react post!! It's mostly the damn image limit that kills me. Let me have 50 images per post ugh. Anywayssss

WOMP I spelt his name wrong in another post like all the way wrong. It's bad enough Orias couldn't even remember his name lmao

I'm crying because level with me... I read his name because of the typo as "Zaddy" instead of Zadkie Sure. I mean I'll call him Zaddy ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ (btw this is a different way of calling someone "Daddy" during sex) Now you know your admin was being horny for another angel again. I am never leaving the streets at this point and Dre has his eyes on me ready to have some words. m o v i n g o n n nn

So Orias is hyping up the angel trying to get him ready for when leviathan gets over to him. they see him from afar and have their little talk, and Zadkiel is nervous asf (as he should be) but Orias is like "you're fine :D" all while he's over there slobbering over Levi's soul again.

See. Look at him. Just confident. Also this part I'm just gonna hurry up and paraphrase so "Levi" walks up to Orias and the angel and after the two of them stare at each other BAM Orias tells the angels to attack "Levi" immediately.

Looks like they got him right???

W R O N G

After Orias ripped through "Levi's" chest and ate the orb, it didn't taste at all what he expected, and...it had the opposite affect of what he thought it would too.

Won't you look at that, Orias wasn't the only one who fucking came in with a failsafe key sort of speak. SO remember back when I said Zadkiel was staring at Levi??? Well he knew who it was because it wasn't really Levi at all but an old colleague of his named Ose that was disguised by the real Levi who only half trusted Orias's note. And as I suspected, Levi was too smart for that and if we remember that he and orias are the ones that can lie. so both parties threw everyone for a loop.

Leviathan played his cards right and he won. Foras witnessed such a thing before his eyes knowing he was probs gonna win anyway lol

And omfg how cheeky, Levi also just wanted to know what would happen if Orias swallowed the soul omg. Lol this is wild. So in short honestly, Zadkiel gave up, seems that he was under Gabriel since he said his name as his last words and the Leviathan monster pretty much swallowed everyone up. It nearly goes for Orias but Levi stops it.

Yes, even after all this bullshit, Levi sticks to his original promise that he wasn't going to do anything to Orias. In fact, he even has the monster spit out a few souls for Orias to eat.

Now see here, this whole "omg being over 21 means your so old now wow" joke is tiring because no one in their 20s looks like Orias who I assume looks like a wrinkled fucking peach under there and his hair is kinda greyed out too? which I mean I've heard of that happening but come on. lol

otherwise though it comes to a conclusion that Orias was pissed off that he was tricked even though he's the one that tricked Levi in the first place

I can't either Foras. I really can't. Orias needs the timeout chair if he's gonna act like this because omg it's almost like Levi is gentle parenting him so he can act better but I mean technically none of this is a good example of gentle parenting lol But also, Orias has a new noose on his neck and if I'm reading the room correctly, I think Levi intends on using it in it future because of how he says "your life belongs to me" and that it's not like the old one.

Orias is on a tight leash now, Levi's promise still hasn't changed, and our nobles learned more about him and us too.

CONCLUSION So for this event I give it a 9/10. One point off because Orias is being a little brat which kinda came off to me as in his big age, he was still acting like a child. Like yes, give him some grace because he was at that farm with Levi and had horrible stuff done to him and especially one that causes aging to where he may even die in another year or so and he's addicted to angel souls now and it makes him want more and more. I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting to highlight something...but I'mma be honest I'm running off fumes and I haven't slept at all SO if I do remember I'll just edit it in here. But but I hope you all enjoyed the heavy lore again, I really appreciate this that they're doing for the story because it's starting to kind of align with the main story kindish? And we get to see glimpses of how the devils are without MC around so I'm getting my piece of slice of life demon pie.

NOW though with the event done. I'm sure the next one crossing my fingers will be a Lucifer-centered one. maybe. Because they have told us before chapter updates would be every three months or so so that's a lot of waiting that I'm glad for because that means more time to beef up cards, unlock holy board stories, farm for materials. The best time for a f2p peep. btw these advanced candies are gonna fucking be the end of me, it's almost like I need to ONLY nab those during events because they get you at the end with those.

As always appreciate you all for reading my stuff, after I sleep today I'll get back to work on those requests again T^T byeee~ -your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #whb hades bois 💜#whb spoilers #whb event #whb orias #there was a lot of lore in here #team no sleep tho #zaddy come to me #lmao

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 1 month

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I blocked 11 accounts today because I logged into tumblr after days and wanted to see what Jimin has been upto and his hashtags were polluted with random Jikook ship stuff. It was so annoying. Some lewser claiming the youngest doesn’t think of JM as the best dancer or handsome but thinks of him as his beloved. I threw up internally and physically had a visceral reaction, ngl. Good lord, does it not make you ashamed to write the other half of your ship isn’t as talented as the group but that’s okay because the maknae loves him? What god level image do you have of JK that you can only appreciate JM because he likes him? “It doesn’t matter if JM isn’t the best dancer coz JK looks at him like he hung the stars”???? Who the fk died made JK the lord of judgements? IDC what his opinion is. I need my guy to get his flowers. Have they ever thought of Park Motherfkn Jimin as an artist? I need them to go extinct. I don’t care for shipping, you do you. But to never acknowledge their artistry is a sickness.

Someone sent me a link to the post, so yeah I saw it.

My opinion's still the same as when he went on and on during a live about Taehyung being the most handsome/beautiful (I don't remember the korean word he used for it) person he's ever seen. And at the time jikookers were trying to find excuses but I said; I know it's normal to think other people are more beautiful than your partner; it can happen, we're not always going to date the most incredible looking person on earth, and that's okay. What is not ok to me is go live to millions of people and say "his best friend is the most good looking person I've ever seen". If you're in a relationship, you can't just say that your partner's best friend takes your breath away like...

Jungkook has never thought Jimin was the best in the group at anything. At least he's never said it and he never will. Once too, they went to that show where they had to write something they wanted to hear from another member and Jungkook wanted to hear "you're a good dancer" from Hoseok. And he wanted to hear from him because he respects Hoseok as a dancer and wanted his approval. So I do think he means it when he says Hoseok is the best dancer to him.

I guess what's annoying about shippers is

1) that Jimin actually talks about Jungkook like he's the best in a lot of stuff. He's talked a lot about looking to him for help in singing, and has even said Jungkook is a better dancer than him even when everyone knows that's not true. Jimin goes as far as including Jungkook in the "visual" line, even though the official narrative is Jin and V are, so he'd be okay if he just said vjin. But Jimin is actually a person with a defined personality that doesn't compromise his morals or opinions for others. So if he thinks Jungkook is good looking as V and Jin, he will just say so. And yet all those things fly over jikookers heads. They'll ignore all that and will tirelessly go back to the one time Jungkook compliments Jimin to make up for all the other times he could've, but didn't.

2) that they can't just acknowledge and accept it. They have to write ten thousand excuses and turn everything into a romance novel to make it seem like yes, Jungkook is saying this or that but secretly he thinks different. Secretly, he thinks the world of Jimin and Jimin only. Secretly, he would never think anyone is better than Jimin.

Just the amount of coping.

As I've said once before too, it's gotten to the point where not only they scramble to find reasons (beyond skinship) to think that they're dating, but also to make Jungkook the kind of boyfriend they think he is. They can't just be like "okay jikook might be dating and Jungkook is kind of a piece of shit for saying this or doing that". No. They have to turn everything around and write stuff like "he hung the stars on the sky" only so Jungkook won't stop being the ideal boyfriend they've made up in their minds.

And that relates to what you say about us not really caring about Jungkook's opinion, but how we have to acknowledge these things anyways because all this discourse does is feed into the idea that Jimin is not as good as someone else. I've written about it before, too; that it really doesn't matter that it's him saying it, but just about giving credit where credit is due. Pjms actually have these conversations about Yoongi and other members as well.

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astroismypassion · 1 month

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Hey, I need to know your opinion here. It's totally fine if you don't wanna but just read maybe you'll enjoy 🤣

My moon and venus is in his 8h and my sun in his 7h; his sun is in my 8h, his moon is in my 9h and his venus in my 7h.

Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed— like why are you so obsessed with me?🤡 like what does he even sees in me??

He constantly tells me that he would leave his family if they tried to stop us being together (I'm assamese and he's a nepali— different tribes also his family knows about us but mine doesn't cuz they are strict asf)

I will not lie, at first I totally ignored him (for 2 year💀 kinda on and off contact- we were classmates) but there was something about him that kept pulling me towards him like crazy istg

He can't express very well nor can I wait he's actually better at expressing his feelings compared to me.

He's lost his v card and I have not. For me, my v card needs to go to someone who is gonna be my permanent not 'maybe/temporary'— he thinks otherwise. So different values and morals.

He constantly spends money and have to keep reminding him to be more strict with his finances (this one irks me so bad)

He gets jealous so fcking easily— like I do too but I try to rationalize my feelings and tell myself that "no they're are just friends, he can have friends okayyy!!" I try to control my possesiveness but no he doesn't.

This is actually my first serious relationship. I'm scared that I will lose my v card to him— no bad if we are the end game but if not then i don't wanna give other than my future hubby TT

I'm scared to commit with him bcs in his past he played around with different girls (NO I'M NOT A 'I CAN FIX HIM' ENERGY 😭) but he claims that I'm the first girl he wants to be with and commit too (his sister told me that he never cried for any girl in his past except for one but that was long ago and now he cries for me bcs I don't trust him) yesterday he told me that "you are making me crazy— are you having fun by having a guy run behind you like a dog??" I was speechless. He was drunk btw he called an hour ago apologizing (he doesn't remember anything he apologized cus his roommates kept scaring him that he told me shit) we haven't talked after that tho

Like always it's an on and off connection.

Okay there's so many things I wanna spill but I'll stop here. Thank you for reading, I hope you had fun my reading my tea lol 😹 anyways

Byeeee<333

Hi!

Hm, lots of complex questions these days in my mailbox. No, but it's alright. I understand the 8th house synastry desire to vent haha. Honestly, so much is to be said, when you are in an 8th house connection.

Definitely don't rush losing v card with the said person. You sound indecisive, which often leads to a "no". Remember that when you are unclear, confused or unsure about something, it's because it's probably a "no". I think that 8th house connections (especially with Sun in the 8th or Mercury in the 8th overlay) are not really worth losing your v card, if you are not beforehand in a committed, mutual partnership with this person. Otherwise, it's just regret and kind of feeling present you would wish to wait it out for someone that you truly have a mutual respect of boundaries in the connection with. If this has not been discussed and establish beforehand, I advise to not engage in any type of sexual activity. Sex might overly complicate already complex situation and when it's sex and feelings involved, the confusion is even stronger after. Don't think that by having sex this will give you more clarity. Try to simplify things for yourself and not overly complicate them, mutual respect is very important.

#astrology #astroismypassion #astro notes #astroblr #astro community #astro note #astro observations #natal chart #astrology blog #chart reading

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reds-ultrakill-brainrot · 2 months

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Hello! I'd like to ask for a music match please :)

My pronouns are they/him (he/him preferred atm), I'd like to get matched for Gabriel (I headcanon him as trans, and that he's insecure about his face a little bit so he wears the helmet! I think it's lovely)

I... Don't entirely know where to start. On the positive, I'm a big fan of music, I love art, I looooove machines. I really wish I was one; the kind of vibes I would give would be immaculate.

I'm big into like, either the most sopping wet pathetic men imaginable, or women who could probably like, crush my skull or something. Don't know why.

On the negative, I've got DID (two alters but they almost never show up), really bad memory loss & migraines, and a complete lack of understanding of myself. Each new day is like learning I'm a different person all over again, and I kind of mold to the people around me, but this is getting better with help.

Additionally, I'm very insecure and I've got a bit of a savior complex. I love dark themes in media, but need a happy ending or I'll cry. I need a good amount of validation or I'll totally fall apart (once again, also getting better with help!!!), but I'm very open & communicative about my needs and willing to negotiate things with people.

I love music with themes of rebellion and attitude, and I love a good story about sticking it to the man and going your own way. In media, I've always loved seeing stories of tragic heroes falling at their own hands but being swept up by someone stronger and sturdier than them, even if it's just for the moment. I've seen myself in the weak one, and I've always wanted to be the strong one.

I've always wanted to save someone from the same situation I was in when I was young, and that's carried onto my adult life. I think this carries into my taste of music and partners; I can't handle anything too happy, or it feels fake. There are very few people who I comfortable with being overly positive towards me.

My life is almost defined by labels. Without them, I would feel lost. I wouldn't be able to just point to a section of the DSM-V and go "oh, right there, that's me."

Silly note, I am mad autistic and start crazy stimming and squealing whenever I hear either a honking bicycle horn, or the KLING of a coin as it's being flipped. I also like to gnaw on things, I'm the guard dog of my friends, and I constantly flip between insanely high-energy and insanely low-energy.

Gen really sorry if this is wonky or too much at all, I'm not good with these... Tysm :))) Also, I'm an INFP-T and an Aries, if either of those help!!!

- TT

♫♪.ılılıll Gabriel Music Match llılılı.♫♪

INFP-T Aries He/Him/They/Them Alias-TT

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1. Remember My Name - Mitski a song about feeling valued for what you give others and feelings of inadequacy both past and present. i feel both you and Gabriel would connect over this. for him, his entire creation and purpose was centred around his service to heaven, the council and ultimately the Father. losing this along with his trust in the council and the belief in his creator would undoubtably leave him with questions about his own worth now he was unwilling/unable to fulfill his duties. for what is the fate of an angel scorned by Heaven? "just how many stars will i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?"

2. Til We Run Out Of Air - Hatchie a song for the saviour complex in you. ultimately about hope after dark times, this is sure to prompt a happy daydream/scenario or two. this song also has parts alluding to self worth issues, which as previously mentioned could be applicable to either of you. true connection and compassion untied to his performance of his duties or role in Heaven is something Gabriel is truly unfamiliar with, but now he has you. you're here for the ups and downs, not keen to give up on him so quickly. "to spend your whole life as your enemy such a crime"

3. Lovesong - The Cure seeing Gabriel struggle with emotions/feelings you similarly have delt with, you recognise and empathise with him in a way that was never provided for him before. i feel this song could apply both ways, your love and care give him the motivation to continue to find his own purpose and worth, and for you he would provide the same compassion in return. as you mentioned appreciating validation the repeated admissions of love could once again go both ways, depending on how you feel at the it might help to imagine this is him talking to you, or you to him. "whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am whole again"

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i apologise for the lack of overtly punk/rebellious music, however finding songs that were about a relationship in some way that fit that theme and weren't about unhealthy dynamics was very difficult. that being said i hope you like what i came up with, and if you want an additional 3 songs please feel free to send in another request. also apologies again if i sound clinical/uncaring when i speak about insecurity or similar negative self ideals/perceptions, i'm being direct about what i see patterns/connections with. thank you for reading

#musicmatch

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weaver-z · 2 years

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I think a lot of the hostility in the discourse surrounding The Q-Slur™ is bc of the conflation between social spaces and political movements

for instance, I initially had a bad reaction to your take on the issue (although I took some time to think about it bc I'm not an animal tyvm) bc I value The Q-Slur™ as effective political rhetoric--a rejection of respectability politics, inclusive to everyone in a way that an unwieldy acronym can't be, simple and concise, etc.

however, I would never call someone The Q-Slur™ if they didn't want to be called that, bc that's rude? like really fucking rude? I'm even avoiding saying it here bc I don't want to stir shit for no good reason

there's a very big difference between how a movement should behave and how a social group should behave. a social group is made up of individuals with individual histories and feelings, but an effective movement can't be made up of individuals; it can only be statistics and icons, because it has to cover as many people as possible

imo, both things are true: it's not okay to demand people use it for themselves, and it's not okay to demand activists stop using it. the pain that The Q-Slur™ brings that makes it so inappropriate for so many social spaces is the exact reason why it's such a good political tool: it's confrontational and unyielding. it makes it clear (1) what we are, (2) what we want, and (3) what we will not concede ("our otherness is based actually" in a single-syllable word!) without making anything softer or cleaner

here's an example of how I personally approach stuff like this: I don't like the lesbian flag all that much (specifically the more-orange one made to replace the lipstick lesbian flag). I think it could be a lot more rooted in lesbian history/symbols instead of just being a pretty collection of colors that looks nice next to the other flags. but, no matter my personal feelings, I would never try to get people to replace it, bc dear lord we need some flag to unite under

(that obviously isn't the same exact situation, I just like allegories)

the Pride+ thing actually felt like a really good compromise to me. as it's a blog on an already p pro-LGBT website, it's a mix of both interpersonal connection and online activism, and wanting it to be as comfy for as many people as possible is entirely valid! go staff go!!

ig my main point in a nutshell is that it's v important to have manners in the vast majority of situations, with one of the main exceptions being when you're fighting for human rights. yeah I think that's it

anyway, I need to log off for a while. go lay down in a field and feel the rain soaking through my clothing. cleanse myself of the internet brainworms. remember that I'm human. hope you have a good one!

Thanks! This is probably the last ask I'll answer about this issue, because for a bunch of people claiming to be super trans-positive and inclusive, some of the people in my inbox really want me to play in traffic.

I also think that the political origins of the reclamation of "queer" are a good point to bring up. "We're here, we're queer" was deliberately chosen because it was a startling, incendiary declaration in the 70s and 80s. And it still is! It's a great rallying cry and wake-up call.

That being said, in a more personal space, yeah, I avoid being called queer for... well, basically every reason I've outlined in these ask answers. Having "THE QUEEREST PLACE ON THE NET" plastered on my blog was, while not triggering, rather uncomfortable for me last pride due to my associations with the word. There is nothing wrong with renaming the blog to "Pride" and using "LGBTQ+" instead of "queer" to describe the userbase, as it includes both queer (Q) people and people who might not identify with that word (LGBT*).

Thanks for taking the time to consider my position! Have a good day.

#ask #cotyledonal #q slur #q word

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 4 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor/737425943253090304/httpswwwtumblrcomstruggle-but-its-all-ocean-f?source=share

same anon

about jin yes i do agree that it somehow gets pushed at back how he's such a big support to BTS as a elder member. We call hobi as sunshine but it's also jin who keeps the environment of the grp Pretty much positive with his own positivity and confidence. I remember jimin saying he kinda learned how to be happy in moments from jin. even tho he's elder than the ml he still indulges himself in whatever things they're doing he doesn't let anyone feel that age gap or that hyung dongsaeng.

Now some might think I'm being bias here or anti or whatever but i personally belive that tae and jk are more emotionally dependent on jimin than they're on eachother. I always got those vibes from them that yes they're partners in crime but they're also not someone who will talk more emotional stuff with eachother that often.

Jimin did spend more time with hobi nd yg because their schedules were colliding but he still did hungout with them till last of them enlsiting. I remember yg and jm going out at restaurant some 2-3 days before yg's enlistment and jm had dinner with yg on his birthday or a day before his birthday too so i think they do hungout alot more than we knows and whenever they talk about eachother it's always "i just met or had drink with yg/jm yesterday" or "i had a call with yg/jm" so yeah. Same for hobi they were hanging out till hoba enlisted.

again about jikook i stole my words that just because these two doens't post does not mean they don't hangout together. Jm said his best place for vacation is his sofa (he said it multiple times during face) whereas jungkook is also not much found of going to different places like the only time he was seen at places was with tae nd his friends but on the other hand it's just him going out to eat food be it alone or his 97 liners so both jm and jk atm doesn't fancy places where they can play or anything. They would have hungout at eachother's homes simply and we wouldn't know. Both of them don't share pictures so we can't know anything unless they tell us. Like remember jk's b'day last yr jm was there with hobi at jk's home which we wouldn't have known for sure if it wasn't for jin. That time when vmin were going to his place and jm was adamant on asking tae to turn off the lives so it's hard to tell with these two Cause they simply don't share much. Look at jk the only times he mentions hangouts is with his 97 but hardly ever with BTS members we wouldn't know unless the other members tell they met jk and in jikook's case both of them simply doens't tell much.

It's funny to me when people goes "jikook are not even friends, they're coworkers and this solo era taught us" like babe jikook are the only two members who are together the most since their debut and not even military could keep them apart. these people just never understood jikook's friendship and they'll never ever if not after 10+ yrs.

In general, I agree with you.

Jungkook's undoubtedly more emotionally dependent on Jimin, and, until recently, Jimin was the glue that kept Vminkook together. Now Jungkook and V are much closer, but Jimin and V's friendship is still special. Jimin definitely chose to hang out a lot with Yoongi, even when their schedules weren't so aligned, and they're very close, but I think part of that perceived closeness is due to them talking about hanging out a lot. Jimin was always closer to Hobi than Suga, and he's also very close to RM, but we heard of him and Suga the most. I don't think that's necessarily indicative of anything.

Jikook are always the same. They can be very loud and talk about the other a lot, but, in general, they are very private. Theirs is the number one most overlooked and downplayed relationship in BTS imo. Since Taekook, Vmin and Yoonmin are so popular, even outside of shipping, I think Jikook are underrated. Fans also seem to value Namkook and Yoonkook more than Jikook, because they love the idea of Jungkook having had a "crush" on RM, and because Suga is so soft on JK and they love the baby brother/older brother angle. If Army stopped looking at BTS with so much bias - there are all these clichés fans take as the truth and it's like some Army think BTS live in fics - they'd see Jikook are incredibly close and there's no one in the group they cherish more than each other. Jimin in particular has been so loud about that - "I'd take Jungkook to a desert island", "The best part of waking up is seeing Jungkook", etc. etc.

Anyway, thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jungkook #jimin #jikook #v #suga #jhope #rm #text #thanks for the ask!

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skybrightpixie · 8 months

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Do you have any advice for someone who would want to make themes for their ocs? I think it would be fun but I was curious if you had any like. Pointers or something :V

this literally JUST showed up in my inbox and it was apparently sent 4 days ago hello

anyways yes (and im assuming you already have the means to make musical themes. if not, i personally use bandlab and then download it so i dont have to upload anything publicly)! BUT, im not gonna give technical advice bc that's not how i think of music anyways, so sorry if that's what you're looking for asjkdkjsa. i would find a way to message @sounddesignerjeans if that's the kind of advice you're looking for. take a lil class, if you need it!

i always think about the character's personality, their motivations, or what you're imagining the character doing and what those things make you feel. and when you get that feeling, how does that translate to how the sounds you're going to produce will be like. basically, tell a short story with your character using music!

i'm gonna expand more on that with examples under the cut if you're curious about that. maybe it'll help!

i'm going to use snippets from INVASION (Tóm's main theme) as my example for this.

i naturally drift towards the minor key in some way when i write music, which works really well for Tóm. he's a morally grey (or maybe specifically dark grey depending how you view his actions) character, so a minor key will. he's also an alien, thus the spacey synths.

i gave this main part a lot of energy because while Tóm himself is not a particularly ~energetic~ person, the joy he finds in killing his victims matches that of the loud crashing cymbals and reverberating synths.

in the first half of this snippet, most of the instruments/synths are at rest to let this one synth bass drone through. Tóm needs control, and he hangs onto it as best he can through a lot of different means. i like to use a droning bass to signify that because it's a long and steady sound.

in the second half, though, a main synths return to "fall down." dont ask me about the actual musical theory term for this, i dont remember it anymore dskjfdskj. anyways, i used this falling synth to show him unraveling over the course of the day. i use music very literally to show what i want people to understand. it works better for me personally than to use a lot of different complex chords and cadences.

as i've mentioned recently, this part is Tóm's leitmotif! ...or at least, this is one of em. the "scary" one.

i used in the "break" part of the song so that it would be the main focus. it's mostly used here to make it very obvious that this is his song. very in your face, also not unlike the featured character. if your have a more shy or mysterious character and you create a leitmotif for them, it might be fun to hide it behind other melodies but still be juuust noticeable enough.

AND THEN... i like this part, my personal fav:

the first 15 seconds is the character having a conflict. i wanted it to sounds like he was arguing with himself back and forth about whether what he's doing is really justified, and losing on all fronts. the next part up to the 28 seconds mark is derivative of his leimotif, but constantly "falling." and then the rest with the piano is meant to sound like him hesitating and taking a moment to think about it before... well! he's already come this far and he can't take back what he's already done! and then the main chorus comes back 👍

and another quick note, this might just be something interesting for those who like to use visuals to "feel" music: find a way to watch the waveforms in your music. if your character is high-energy, you might want your waveforms to jump a lot, and lower-energy or sinister characters might want a smoother waveform.

that's all k thanks bye. i hope it was interesting to read and listen to, if nothing else!

#audio #music #not really sure what else this should be tagged with for organization purposes awawawa

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1spooky-dad · 2 years

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Back when i cared what my mother thought of me and my creative prospects, aka college, i sometimes read stories to her that i was particularly proud of. This always, always led to more heartbreak and frustration than any real critique could bring, simply bc she had zero concept of what a story is, somehow.

1. When i was actively writing my overwatch fanfic with all my ocs, i told her about the concept for a secret civilization of Australian natives, who, on their own, with their own advanced tech, had discovered an easy cure for most illnesses, including cancer brought on by radioactivity. This was after i had written a paper about the terrible treatment of Australian natives and how they have so often been erased in history, despite being one of the oldest groups of people on earth.

I had explained this all to my mother before explaining my concepts. She proceeded to ask why my civilization had to be futuristic and tech based, and why the native people couldn't just "find a magic root or something" instead of invent their own, superior tech. You know, instead of making them hard working, smart people, give them a magic root that they don't have to think about to use, and is the primary source of power, instead of the people themselves.

Even after explaining that that concept of natives being ~magic~ is white Hollywood bullshit and can be harmful to these groups of people, she couldn't grasp why i would design the civilization the way i did. She genuinely wanted me to change something i had so excitedly shown her, simply cause she was hand fed white culture version of native people and couldn't comprehend anything else in media.

2. I read one of my own original pieces to her, really, REALLY proud of it at the time. She only paid half attention to it, and then at the end said she couldn't follow it because two characters both had names that started with V. The names in question were Vladis, and Vervain. Very different names. Not really any rhyme to them, or matching mouth feel. She told me to change at least one name so it would be easier to follow. All my names are carefully chosen to properly fit character traits, even if you don't know that, i do, and the naming is very special to me. There is purpose to the names.

Big reason why i never shared my story where two characters are named Hokani, and Honani. There's reason for this, but i didn't have the energy to explain to her that their names are important.

3. When i was in high school, and going through very difficult mental illness, i vented through writing darker stories. No, they weren't any good, but writing about characters going mad and suffering through psychosis but still making it out and becoming better for it really helped me through a lot of hard times. The only time I read this kind of this to my mom, she scolded me for writing scary things, and told me to write happy things only.

4. This situation, over and over again without fail:

Mom, walks into my room to check on me: hey, what are you up to?

Me, writing in bed: working on a story, wanna hear what i have so far?

Mom: of course!

She sits down on the end of the bed and settles in as i start to read. A paragraph in, i look up and she's asleep.

5. The genuine shock she'd give any time i tell her about how my fictional world works, because every time, over the course of literal years, she can't fathom that i care so much about the thing I've been working on for so long. The "how do you remember all this?" That she must think comes off as amazed, but really just comes out as confused and honestly, disappointed bc i never put so much thought into, idk, math? As a general rule of thumb it's good to not show shock at how much someone knows about something if you know they've been working on it for years of their life, i think.

But then again, coming from the woman who, when asked point blank, couldn't remember the name of my best friend in high school, the only person who showed up for my sweet sixteen party, who was my writing partner, and who i spent most of my time with, maybe caring so much about something that you remember basic details about it just isn't her forte

#shit parenting #rant #just thinkin which is always bad #erin if youre reading this my mom doesnt remember you at all #right after she tokd me she was sick of being my mother i asked her how could she be my mother uf she didnt know me and she claimed #that she DID know me so i asked her who my best friend in hs was and she went uhhhhhhhhhhhh and said a random name ive never heard #hell i wouldve accepted Micheal cuase he was close second but no it was some random name and she then claimed i had too many friends to #keep track of which is a total fabrication. that was my sister not me i had like 3 friends who werent terrible people #idk what triggered this all but now im mad #anyways erin miss u love u you should play the old gods rpg with me when it comes out cause i really want it and will be getting it

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chateautae · 3 years

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I for duck's sake need help people.....see, I would be very pleased if anyone of you would just help me out....the thing is, I have been in a relationship for like around 3 years and trust me, he is like the most perfect kinda person I have ever met..but now comes the main issue, he has till now, never ever hinted me about doing anything ( the max. we have went is uk till just a little makeout types, ik spoiling my sex life like this sucks but that's why I am going anonymous and I think some of you might have experienced it ig, don't take me wrong, I mean like uk). The good thing is, we both are understanding and extremely working persons (he works as a employee in a business firm and I am a newbie doctor (kinda just started my practice as a doctor)....and even though I am a doctor and that having sex is like a normal thing because we literally studies everything, I still freak out upon thinking about doing it with him....it's not like I am scared or anything but I just want some uk girl tips upon how to actually do it....reading about it is quite, tbh, okay for me, but then doing it is like, a difficult task....i bet you he knows about everything and that's why he hasn't hinted upon anything but like from the past 1 week, he jas been dropping kinda hints ig.....like I won't go into the details, otherwise I would be hella embarrassed, not that I am not right now, I am literally sitting in the washroom typing this ( don't judge me)....while reading about it, it feels so easy to execute everything but then when doing it in real life is like so much like wierd ig....I mean how do I respond to it.....I am nervous and what not.....as 25yo, I sometimes feel wierd that I can't uk do it......can anyone of you just help me please......like some girl tips.....I searched it on Google too, still I don't have the courage.....amd moreover, my friends circle is so wierd amd plus, I am too shy to ask anyone.....ik asking this in such a way and place is way too inappropriate to be even considered normal....it's not like I am not ready for it, it's just I am quite nervous about how to do it.....tbh, he hasn't forced me even once still remained to be sweet and all but internally we noth know, we might wanna step up.....HELP PLZ.....my mom is way too conservative to even have an open conversation about kisses let alone doing it....

Oh hun, you are completely and tOTALLY allowed to come to this blog for any advice and not feel ashamed. This is an 18+ blog and anyone here would be so glad to help you, something like this is totally normal!! I shall leave my words under the cut, though if anyone else would like to help this lovely anon please do not hesitate to drop off a reply or even something in my inbox! I'll answer right away to help anyone wondering the same thing 💓

Alright hun, first and foremost I am so happy your relationship has been so strong! And I'm glad you're with someone who hasn't pushed you or anything into doing anything sexual yet, I'll tell you from experience that can be extremely daunting and uncomfy so I'm super relieved your man has been sweet!!

In terms of real advice, tbh I'm quite the wrong person to go to. I lost my v-card with my first boyfriend when I was 16, literally we were both inexperienced and even the times we did you know, do the deed it was very clumsy and nobody knew what they were doing, and the second person I've been with was a Kiseok situation (if you read maybe I do, yes Kiseok is based on a real person in my life) so fuck that dude. But maybe my own inexperience can also help you out, here are at least some lady tips I can think of:

1. Make sure you're comfortable. I say comfortable instead of ready because I'm quite the believer in if you wait until the moment you're ready, you'll wait your entire life. So my best advice is to make sure you're comfy with the situation and your partner!!

2. Ensure your partner is someone who cares about you. I know everyone's stories are different, and not everyone has sex with someone they've been with for a long time or even love, one night stands are totally okay and I salute you sister. get that dick!!! But even in situations where you're with a stranger, sex is a very intimate thing, and it would make your experience 1000x better if you can at least tell the person cares about you and your body and your wishes during sex. Everyone deserves to be respected during an intimate act like sex and if you feel you're not being respected, whether it's your body, your wishes, your limits, your choices, do not feel obligated to still go through with this person.

3. You have to be wet. Of course not all sexual encounters happen the same way, and every female gets off on different things or turned on by a variety of actions, but essentially you have to be wet for sex. Most men understand this but a lot also don't, basically you gotta get into that juicy foreplay to get wet my girl. Try making out, maybe if you're sitting down swing a leg over his lap and bam you're straddling him. This position is usually optimal because you gain the opportunity to grind against yo man's crotch and my fucking God, does that shit feel hella nice. It's also highkey ego-boosting feeling how much the guy's getting worked up because literally anytime you grind or move over their crotch it immediately spikes to their dick and you can usually feel them against you. If you're standing, try moving to an area that has a wall and keep grabbing at your man's neck, usually men naturally will indicate you to jump and you'll easily be all up against the wall making out, this gets hella fun too cause being carried like that is so 😩

3.2. Okay cool, we're making out, now it's essentially a game of go with the flow. Men usually take the initiative and begin the escalation of things on their own. Maybe he'll start kissing down your neck, his hands are gonna be somewhere at your waist, maybe inching down to your ass or maybe he's an ass guy and he's already palming at yo cheeks. Regardless, I can confidently say you can sit back and relax, let yourself feel, get into the kissing and grinding and if you love the way he's touching you, make some noise and let him know, don't be afraid to be turned on and goddamn horny, dudes love that shit. You however are also allowed to take the wheel, and guys usually search for the greenlight from girls by sensing their movements and how eager they seem for the go-ahead on anything. If maybe you begin tugging at his clothes, they'll usually think "okay, she's okay with this rn" and so on. This part's sincerely just go with the flow, you don't need to rush and honestly the more foreplay the better for getting your puthy wet. Make sure you're comfy and your partner makes sure you're okay with that they're doing to you.

3.3. Whoop dee doo your man's hands are suddenly going, you know, places. Another case of go with the flow, if you're comfortable with your man wanting to do a lil rubby dubby on your kitty then totally let him, this shit feel's god-like I tell you. Maybe I'm just a sensitive ass whore, who knows but something about feeling a man's hands do what your lady fingers can't just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But essentially from here maybe you wanna reciprocate. Get them pesky pants open and feel your man up. Reach inside those boxers and touch that beast he's hiding inside. Make sure to go nice and slow and your hands aren't rough, men's dick are super sensitive and if you go too hard on at least a dry dick it acc hurts them. Men usually leak pre-cum at their tips so try using some of that to slick up your hand.

3.4. That's handjobbing, now if we're getting into oral, very important things to remember. A) retract your teeth, it's hard and it hurts to do it for a long time but teeth will hurt dudes a lot so suck them in and away from their cocks. B) Hollow your cheeks, men like the tightness of a mouth and that's what really gets them going. C) BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE PLEASE DO NOT JUST STOP BREATHING AND TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY BLOWJOBS ARE ACC VERY FUCKING HARD AND FUCK YOU UP especially for someone like me who has a small mouth, yeah that shit sUCKS but nothing is more beautiful than seeing a man fold under your touch. D) Tease yo man a bit, kitten licks and kisses, dragging your tongue over his slit, maybe a pump and then take him out, slick him up with some saliva maybe, anything you feel like doing go ahead girl, that dick is yours for the time being and I promise he'll love it. E) Deep-throating is really when gets guys going cause they only acc feel shit at their tips, so please deep-throat with caution, and take your time if he's a big one, you can acc really hurt yourself especially if you're constantly deep-throating a really big one. F) Go to town girl, get up and bobbing, go down on him like he can't survive without you, go at your own pace and own it. G) Balls usually go neglected and I promise if you even fondle them or grab at them your man will combust.

3.5. Okay so with actual sex, FIRST OF ALL BE SAFE!!!! USE A FUCKING CONDOM, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THEN DON'T FUCK BUT IF YOU'RE STILL HORNY THEN PLEASE RECIEVE SOME MONEY FROM YO MAN FOR PLAN B!!! IT'S NOT ENTIRELY FOOLPROOF THOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT RISK. You can totally go on birth control too but this has its complications, there are also monthly shots you can take and other contraceptives.

3.6. Okay it's sexy times, this is just gonna have to be a thing for you. Everyone's different and has different comfort levels, maybe you can take someone that’s bigger while some women can't and that's fine. Just make sure when he does go in, you feel okay with it. It will hurt if you’re dry and not wet, like hurt a lOT but if you do feel loads of pain just let your partner know to go slower, and let yourself get used to the feeling of something inside. You can always say stop if it hurts too much, seriously it's normal and that's what I did with my first boyfriend. Hell I fucking kicked my ex off me LMAO and he was so sorry and we just ended everything there, and had actual sex the next time I visited him. From here on I've really got no lady tips, essentially it's up to you what you like and what you'll do, get it on!!!

General Tips:

4. Be you, and be confident. I know sex can be really daunting especially when you consider men usually tend to be more experienced, and maybe you become afraid you won't measure up or be as good as his previous partners or you’re not good at sex, but baby girl it ain't about that. This dude is going to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you, and whether that's his dick speaking for him or his heart, it means he will not be thinking about some other chick he got it on with a year ago, he will be thinking of you and your pretty mouth and what you're doing, focused on touching your body and thinking he loves the way it feels. The more confident you are, the better. You're sexy and pretty and you are desirable babes, let those noises he makes when you touch him drive your confidence, the way he groans a little when you do something, the way he's tugging your body close to yours cause he wants to feel you, it all means he wants you and that's hot, let it boost your lady ego my love. You're allowed to be shy, I totally understand that, and if your partner really cares about you then they'll easily take your hand and guide you through it. Let them know you're a little nervous, and they'll really try to make things more comfy and easier for you because sex is about both parties, not just one.

5. Orgasming is hard, but it's still achievable. Especially in an open, established relationship, really let your man know what turns you on. Let him feel at your cooch while he's penetrating you and I promise that can usually get you orgasming. Other than that, another huge case of doing what you need to do to get yourself off, and always let your partner know. If you’re really searching for an orgasm in a newer relationship or if you’re too shy to say something, then literally just take your man’s hand and place him over your clit and start rubbing with him, he’ll get the hint and start doing it himself.

6. Communication is key. This is obvious, but even if it's dirty talk, usually it's still a way to communicate and see if you're okay. You can ask to go slower, faster, softer, harder, stop altogether or entirely wreck your goddamn shit. Your partner should listen and if they don't, get the fuck out of there and leave that man, he don't fucking deserve you at all, especially in situations where you ask to stop or to slow down cause maybe something hurts, if he doesn't listen here then no, he don't deserve shit and LEAVE. Don't be afraid to make noise either or say something, dudes usually love hearing you. If you don’t like something please let your partner know, I’m sure they’re wondering if you do and would love to hear you communicating.

7. Be clean after you're done woo-hoo-ing. Make sure you're tidy and stuff before putting clothes back on, sex can get messy especially if it's your first time you can bleed. Usually if the dude is a sweetheart enough they'll clean you, which is obviously aftercare uwu.

8. Pee after sex, UTI's are not fun.

9. Your body may also feel weird or go through changes after you have sex for the first time, but that’s normal. Just you body’s response to feeling something foreign inside you.

10. Ladies, remembering during sex that you have power, IT’S YOUR BODY!!!! Whether it’s because you’re totally domming or because your man is super duper sweet and will not do anything unless you want it, sex is meant to be fun and for both parties’ enjoyment. It’s not a chore nor is it something you HAVE to do to keep your man around or something, let yourself have fun girl, you deserve it. The flow of sex and any activities as such are usually dictated by you and what you want, so remember you don’t have to go through with something if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter if a dude really badly wants to get his dick wet, this is your body and you are to decide what happens to it. If a man makes you believe otherwise, FUCK THAT DUDE!!!! HE DON’T DESERVE YOU!!! YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND TO BE CARED FOR AS A HUMAN BEING!!

#sammy's advice #sammy files #inbox #anon

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thetomorrowshow · 4 years

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Slower Than Words Ch. 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

A/N: Welcome to my latest fic! I’m projecting about 10 chapters for this. If you’d like to be tagged, just leave a comment or shoot me an ask or send a request by falcon or w/e, I’m not picky!

Just to preface, I'd like to warn that there will be cult content in this work. I am in no way endorsing cults, nor am I criticizing anyone's religion. The intent of this work is to entertain, so please enjoy!

CW: Food, inflicted blindness, imprisonment

Virgil wasn’t expecting a roommate.

He’d only been here for a month or so, but he’d been alone for a while. He’d been quarantined for the past twenty days, and experimented on before that—Virgil didn’t want to think about that.

He hadn't known he had a roommate until someone brushed up against him as he curled up on the cold floor. He couldn't find the bed, otherwise that was where he'd lie. But something touched him and he reared back, ready to attack.

Whatever it was didn't touch him again, and Virgil slowly let himself relax. The sudden movement had sent a migraine to pound at the walls of his head. He groaned and let his head rest on the cold floor beneath him, before hearing some rustling. He jerked right back up, flinching again when something heavy fell on him. A blanket.

“Hello?” he ventured. No answer. For a moment, Virgil was certain he was making it all up, that he had gotten the blanket himself but had forgotten. Then another noise—a scuffle, the sound of someone sitting nearby. A hand touched his shoulder, and Virgil did everything in his power to not draw back.

“Who's there?” he asked, his voice quivering. “I can't—I can't see. I can't see you.”

Even after they'd taken the bandages off his eyes, Virgil had been unable to see anything. The first week, his eyes had burned and itched. He'd restrained himself from scratching, but now he wasn't sure if it would have made a difference. He had lost his sight, and with it his whole world.

The hand didn't leave his shoulder, and Virgil reached out cautiously. His hands met something solid—a person? Yes, a person, and Virgil's hands clutched desperately at their shirt. He hadn't had safe human contact in so long. . . . The person seemed to understand that, and gently placed his arms around Virgil. Virgil let himself be wrapped in the hug, arms awkwardly against his chest. The person smelled like soap and dust and immediately warmed him. Virgil relished the fiery contact, pushing his head up into the person's shoulder and sighing. For the first time in weeks, he felt safe.

The person pulled back and Virgil floundered, reaching again into the empty air. A hand caught his and held it still. Virgil frowned, confused. What was happening? Were they not supposed to know about each other? Was the person about to lead him back into that room, the bright one where they leaned over him and—

Virgil wrenched his brain away from that train of thought. He needed to focus on the here and now, not the terrifying past. Starting with who the other person in the room was. Said other person suddenly let go off his hand and pulled him close again. Virgil decided to not worry about who they were or why they were both here, and melted into the person's chest.

When Virgil woke up, he blinked blearily before remembering that he couldn't see. Someone—the person from the previous day—was still holding him, but his slow breathing indicated that he was asleep. At some point, they'd moved to a bed. It was nice, all things considered. He wasn't alone, he was in a soft bed with a soft person, and he had no need to go anywhere anytime soon.

A loud clang! interrupted his drowsy thoughts and he jerked up, feeling the person beside him stir in their sleep.

“Hello?” Virgil said, his voice shaking. No answer. His roommate sat up beside him and placed a gentle hand on his back, calm and reassuring. Then the person slid out of bed and seemingly vanished—Virgil could no longer reach them, no matter how far he stretched out his arms. He whimpered unwillingly, then covered his mouth. No use seeming weak. A little voice in his head reminded him that he'd certainly done worse than whimper when they'd taken his sight.

A terrifying moment later, a hand was on his arm and guiding him into a standing position. Virgil stumbled a bit, but allowed himself to be led across the room until the person eased him to the ground.

As it turned out, there was food there, laid out on a tray. Virgil felt his way around the tray before lifting what he was certain was a spoon, letting the other person place a bowl on his lap. It was full of instant mashed potatoes, Virgil soon discovered. He hadn't really been focusing on his stomach, but he realized some sustenance would be nice. While he ate, the other person traced seemingly random patterns on his wrist.

The bowl with mashed potatoes was pulled away from him, then returned but filled with canned beans. Virgil grimaced: he'd never been one for beans, but at least they were warm. It struck him as he ate that he had no idea what time it was. Was this an odd breakfast, or a poor dinner? It reminded him of something his dorm mate might have made—and just like that, tears were forming and his nose was burning.

Why did they take him? Out of every twenty-something person they could've kidnapped to fulfill their sick desires of blinding someone, why him? Virgil missed home, he missed school, he missed his obnoxious dorm mate, he missed his terrible paying job making terrible pizzas—

The bowl was gently pulled from him and Virgil willingly fell into the person's arms. He sobbed into their shoulder, lost and sad and homesick. How many times had he cried alone in the past month? How many times had he longed for human contact only to wrap his arms around himself? Now he cuddled closer into the warm weight of another human being, gripping as tight as he could.

The other person lightly placed a kiss into Virgil's hair and Virgil felt safe, and warm, and still so so awful but also okay.

Virgil pulled back and fumbled around for the bowl again, still sniffling as he took another bite. The person continued to trace the patterns into his wrist, slow and soft. Over and over. Familiar, like they had no meaning yet every meaning simultaneously. Over and over and over. . . .

That was—repetition? Did the pattern start over? Virgil set down the bowl and placed his hand on the other person's, who immediately stilled.

“Come on, do it again,” Virgil croaked. He gestured at his wrist, trying to get his meaning across. “I wanna feel it.”

Slowly, the patterns started up again, and Virgil traced along with them.

a . . . b . . . c . . . d. . . .

The alphabet. The person hadn't spoken at all thus far, and Virgil felt unbelievably ecstatic about this form of communication. He pushed his hand into the other person's, food forgotten in the giddy anticipation of someone talking to him. Old Virgil would have scoffed, unimpressed at his thirst for human contact. Old Virgil wanted to be alone. Old Virgil hadn't spent weeks alone in darkness.

Virgil could pick out some of the letters the person traced, but the rest felt like random scribbling. He definitely felt an 'a', and an 'o', and then an 'n', but the rest was unclear. He shrugged, then put his hand over theirs again.

This time he could feel the letters more clearly, as the other person carefully guided his hand.

P-a-t-t-o-n.

V-i-r-g-i-l, Virgil spelled. V-i-r-g-i-l.

V . . . i . . . n . . . y . . . l . . . l.

“No, Virgil, not vinyl,” Virgil groaned. V-i-r-g-i-l.

V . . . i . . . r . . . g . . . i . . . l.

“Yes, yes yes!” Virgil impulsively hugged the man whose arm he'd been spelling on a second earlier. His name was Patton, and through much trial and error, Virgil had discovered that Patton was about his age and could see. Why he wasn't talking was a mystery that he hadn't decoded yet.

Virgil and Patton had been curled up on the bed for hours, tracing into each others' arms. It was mostly the alphabet, over and over again as they tried to instinctually recognize the letters. It was slow going, but Virgil felt they'd gotten far enough for his name—and they had. It exhausted both of them, he was sure, so he wasn't surprised when Patton fell asleep, him following shortly.

The past few days had been too short, it seemed, after the unbelievable length of the month he'd spent alone. Hours of tracing and sleeping and eating and just touching helped the days fly by. Every day Patton held Virgil steady as the walked the perimeter of the room, one hand on the smooth wall, the other clenched into Patton's shirt. He was slowly beginning to envision their cell in his mind's eye. He knew how many steps it was from the door to the beds—because there were two of them, apparently, though Virgil spent most of his time on the same bed as Patton. When it was night, he couldn't bear to let Patton go, afraid he'd wake up alone again, not able to find anyone. On nights when the fear was particularly bad, Patton held him to his chest and wiped the tears away.

They were almost constantly touching, in some way. When they were both mentally worn from the struggle of communicating, they often lay on the floor, hands entwined. In those moments, Virgil let his mind explore beyond the room, sometimes imagining himself to be a great wizard or adventurer. He went on grand quests to retrieve lost treasures, journeyed into caverns that dripped with shadows. Most of the time, though, he imagined he was going about his normal life. He pictured his dorm mate, the paths he'd take to school. He thought about the tree that grew outside his window, the aloe vera on his desk that was somehow managing to survive. Those bittersweet thoughts always led to a wave of homesickness, and Virgil would find himself curling into Patton's arms to cry.

Now, though, Virgil woke up slowly, automatically squeezing his grip to make sure he was still holding Patton's hand. The man squeezed back, then spelled something onto his arm.

V-i-r-g-i-l.

Virgil smiled sleepily and spelled back: P-a-t-t-o-n. Who was he to break morning routine?

F-o-o-d-s-h-e-r-e, Patton spelled out slowly, making a slicing motion on his arm to indicate a space between words. Virgil nodded, forestalling the man as he began to spell it again.

“I heard, I heard.”

Over breakfast, Patton continued the alphabet lightly. Virgil tried to keep his arm free, but he needed one hand to hold the bowl and the other to eat the oatmeal, so it wasn't going too well. Soon enough, the tray was taken from them (by the morning food-bringer, Virgil was beginning to be able to tell their footsteps apart) and Patton squeezed him in a brief hug before taking Virgil's hand and placing it over his own, tracing more letters onto Virgil's skin.

I-a-m-d-e-a-f.

That couldn't be right. Virgil wracked his brain, trying to think of which letter he misinterpreted. Before he could pick it out, though, Patton was tracing again.

I-a-m-d-e-a-f.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed!): @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222

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aresrl · 3 years

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I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

#genshin request #genshin matchups #genshin #genshin impact

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edengarden · 3 years

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Hello and if asks are still open may I have a regular match up for BNHA?

Name: Nox

Gender: FTM

Occupation: Student (16 almost 17 yrs old. Jan 4th is b-day)

Sexual orientation: Omniromantic Asexual (male/masculine leaning)

Quirk: Transformative/Mutant, "Zoologic shift" (This quirk allows the individual(s) to transform into multiple animals, but the individual has to have a emotional/special connection or feeling towards the animal and to know it's physical structure to properly shift into the said animal (mythical/made up creatures can be acquired but it is extremely difficult due to the fact of anatomy and bone structure). The user only has a limited time to be in their animal form before they start going feral, if the person is angry or has a different strong negative emotion in animal form, the fast they can become feral (once the user becomes feral they will not remember anything until they have calmed down or are somehow distracted), if the user becomes feral for too long they will not be able to transform back unless they are hurt tremendously or their hatred may take a physical form and eventually kill them from the inside (I guess look at the demons from Princess Mononoke to get an idea of what that is).)

Animals acquired: White Dire wolf, Raven, Orca, Clydesdale, Black Mamba, Barn Owl, Russian Blue House cat, Ram, Fire Dragon, Phoenix, Snake Basalisc

At least 3 positive attributes:

Empathetic (emotional and animal, riots and civil conflict bring me to tears as well as I can feel my friends' pain I and want to cuddle ever dog, cat, etc. I see)

Intelligent (at least in certain subjects like language, art, biology, and physical/hero training), serious (it may come off as intemidation but I just usually mess around)

Diplomacy (I try to avoid any physical fights that can but I will fight as a last resort)

Calm (in most situations I try to keep a level head and it works since when most people need serious help they come to you for advice or to vent)

Justful (kinda speaks for itself)

Soft Blunt and Soft Honest (I am honest with people as well as blunt, but I am not mean or hurtful when I say it)

At least 3 negative attributes:

Anger issues (even though usually calm and serious, when pushed over the edge I can become furious and using my quirk will not help at all)

Self sacrificing (since due to personal circumstances I have started to put other people above me (my friends mostly) and I would do anything, even get myself physically or emotionally hurt for them. It is sorta in a way for having approval for those I care about but mostly is just showing that I care for the people I care about)

Self deprecating with imposter syndrome (it's mostly a form of humor, but I take it far enough where people start to worry)

Dark humor (idk I just like it)

Confrontational (if someone confronts and tries to provoke me I will tell them off but never physically fight back)

Self Righteous (The righteousness is good but usually my self righteousness comes up when it comes to someone's safety or when revenge and anger cloud my judgement)

Children (I don't care for children, but I'm afraid my anger will get the best of me and I'll lash. So that's why I stay away from kids as much as possible for tr he fear of accidentally hurting innocence)

Hahahaha...daddy issues...

Hobby(ies):

Hiking in the woods

Drawing (it's usually vented or dark in some way, but sometimes I like drawing people and animals or characters)

Cosplaying

Cooking

cApTuRinG sOuLs-

Learning about Witchcraft/Supernatural/Celestial

Music Taste:

Lofi

Anti-Nightcore/Nightcore

Viking Chants

Sea Shanties

Celtic instrumentals

Death metal

Instrumental

Old Rock

Classical

Bands/song writers: Skillet, SKÁLD, Faun, Black Briar, MARETU, Steampianist, Temporex, Penelope Scott, Mirical Music, Alice Cooper, Pink Floyd, Angel Maker, Forest Music, Panic! At the Disco, MESA works design, , Harrison (not too much into bands but here are the general ones I listen too)

Appearance

Eyes: Brown/Black has bags under eyes

Hair: Red (henna dyed), it's frizzy at the tips and it's long (cab length) and thick (I hate it's length, but parents...)

Skin: Pale (warm tone)

Body type: In between Skinny and overweight, wide shoulders, actually muscular

Anything else?: Teeth have tiny canines, sometimes can have wolf ears and tail showing, kinda thick thighs-, 5'6ish, usually wearing school uniform. Hero uniform includes a black Cape with under it being a black mechanical suit that is bullet and elemental proof, boots are sharp and steel toed resembling a wolf's paw, wears a head mask that looks wolfish as well in the front but in the back of the mask has fur in the back (look towards some reference of the princess mononoke headgear) (not completely like a wolf but sorta resembles one), the mask also helps with muffled hearing and sight because I am sensitive to those things.

Traits I look for S/O: Empathetic, kind, cooperative, someone who also finds comfort in darkness or the shade, someone that knows how to take things seriously but also having a humors side, trusting and loyal, someone that can work with others (I'm usually a loner but I try to work with others), someone that would at least like to have a relationship that includes physical affection (I am a touched starved peep-), I guess someone that works, likes, or even somehow resembles an animal, some that doesn't get angry easily and is patient, introvert an extrovert doesn't matter to be (I guess if I had to choose maybe someone in between the 2?), and I guess someone that just tolerates my presence and doesn't or call me a piece of shit.

Traits I cannot be around with a S/O: Anger...I can't be around angry people because they scare me to the point I become panicked, people that work towards apathy (I may be empathetic but with someone that can't or won't return the same comfort when needed, they exhaust me), untrusting, someone who is a dick to everyone except me (it just seems suspicious and hurtful), someone who is closed minded, someone that has joy in hurting other maliciously, someone who loves bright lights/areas/lives by the sun, guess someone who wants a 24/7 therapist (again it can become exhausted and I know how it is...it isn'tthat nice.)

Star sign: Capricorn (sun), Gemini (moon), Cancer (rising)

Personality type: INTJ, Lawful Neutral

HP House: Hufflepuff that isn't afraid to kickass

Fun facts!:

I'm somewhat of an animal whisperer

Obsessed with herbs and Crystals

I know it seemed edgy with my hatred towards light, but in all honesty the late does infact bother and irritate me, especially when it's hot

Intrested in the celestial and supernatural

I look at horror and nature documentaries

I've trained my dog to come when I howl

I guess if loving spicy food counts as a fun fact then count that in

Ehhhhh...switch sub-

cAndLe bOi-

I must apologize if this is a lot, I just wanted the matchup as accurate as possible, but again thank you for having the ask box open and I hope you have a good day!

Honestly while I read your description, all I could think of was Tokoyami!

I think it’s pretty obvious why?? You two share a lot of things in common. The two of you are very calm individuals, and I can see you both being voices of reason not only to the people surrounding you, but to each other as well. In a way, I think you can even tend to challenge each other and even push (to a healthy extent) the other to become the best version of themselves.

The VIBE you two have. It’s almost too good. And while Tokoyami isn’t affectionate in public, he’d be more than happy to indulge in your starvation for touch behind closed doors! Don’t tell anyone, but he’s a straight up cuddlebug. And I can totally see him digging the spiritual/celestial stuff?? Maybe he won’t actually know anything, but he’d be so hyped if you were willing to teach him omg I can totally see this as your go-to type of date, that’s so sweet 🥺

Songs!!

- Breathe (In the Air), Pink Floyd (I honestly see you and Tokoyami straight up vibing to Dark Side of the Moon like no other to be honest)

- In the Lap of the Gods, Queen

- Sense of Doubt, David Bowie (THIS VIBE IS SO DARK AND URGH I CAN SEE THIS AS A V I B E FOR YOU TWO - However, Neuköln could be a close second to portray this vibe!)

- Killing a Little Time, David Bowie

#mha matchup #mha #bnha #bnha matchup #tokoyami fukimage

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idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf · 4 years

Text

G U Y S

I know I cry a lot about Max, Nikki, and Neil but can I just say that I live for their dynamic? And imma just throw a lot of observations about them here and this may get incoherent but whatever?

1.) They're actually pretty touchy-feely with each other and god I never noticed until recently but like??? They a r e??? Like Neil putting his hand on Max's back in Jermy Fartz. Like how Max grabbed Nikki's hand and d r a g g e d her away from the danger in Night Of The Living Ill. Or how Nikki just kinda clung to Neil when she was sick in the episode Into Town. Or how Nikki grabbed the boys into a hug in the Christmas Special. Even as early as the first episode they were grabbing each other and Max put his arms around the other's shoulders to guide them away. I know a lot of us are like "they aren't really the publicly clingy or affectionate types" but the thing is that they really kinda are. We don't always see it because it's not called attention to all that often but next time you watch an episode that's heavily trio centred count how many times they touch each other casually and you'll see what I mean. For example, I counted four casual grabs and touches in Spooky Island. Which doesn't seem like much. Until you remember the fact that this is a ten minute episode, and that's a touch every 2.5 minutes on average. Which IS a lot. Not to mention how damn close they were. There were quite a few moments where I fully expected them to grab each other or something because they were just completely invading one another's personal space.

Look how close they stand to one another. Compare this to normal conversation distance

When in a conversation generally your attention is locked onto the other person. Generally you'll stand closer to someone if you're talking to them than if you're not. Yet the two images I showed you before are of Max, Nikki, and Neil NOT talking or even really acknowleging one another. Compare that to the screenshot of Nikki actually engaged in conversation with Jasper.

If you thought maybe the former three images were just a perspective issue or something...no. Max, Nikki, and Neil genuinely do stand abnormally close. Look at this picture where Max and Nikki have literally no reason to leave a huge gap from Jasper yet they still do.

And when I said they disreguarded personal space I don't even mean standing this strangely close to each other?!? I mean like when Nikki threw herself two inches away from Max to the point where he jumped back a little. I mean like when Max pointed at Neil and Neil had to move his body a little because he was startled by how close it was. I mean like when Nikki leaned across Neil to jab her finger in Max's personal space, effectively getting abnormally touchy with both of them at the same time. Note that all these observations are from ONE EPISODE that's only ten minutes long! Imagine everything that could be observed if I went out of my way to check how touchy they were in every episode? This is especially impressive if we look at who we're talking about. Max is the type to reject touching from people. He's brushed off or shoved away other's who try to touch him multiple times. But not these two.

2.) Max is a l o t softer with Nikki and Neil than with anyone else. Again, let's take Spooky Island for example. When they discover the torture chamber, Max has absolutely no issues whatsoever telling Jasper the fuck off. He taunted Jasper, who was clearly frightened, going "Oh no! We have to find ghosts and monsters! Remember?!?" And keep in mind he was mocking and yelling here. Then Neil interjects and you know what? Max's tone actually softens. Yeah he still tells Neil that he's wrong. But Max isn't nearly as hostile. He sure as hell didn't mock or taunt Neil. And what's more? Max didn't say one word to Nikki. Yeah when he first walked in he started to tease her but as soon as she made it clear that she was frightened he just completely stopped and turned his attention onto Jasper. And you can see this in a l o t of episodes, not just this one. Max is still a jerk with Nikki and Neil but he doesn't cross the line. He doesn't yell for too long. Max...he doesn't want to hurt them. He doesn't want to see them fail. He doesn't want them angry or god forbid sad. Max may hurt them sometimes but he doesn't fuck with them just for the sake of upsetting them. And especially in early seasons, that's more than can be said for anyone else because he does go out of his way to torment the other's and he's never been as openly apologetic for anything in his life than for the few times he has upset Nikki and Neil. It's also worth noting that Neil is more gentle with Nikki than other's. For example he expects her to ruin his experiments and just gets kinda salty about it after but he clearly forgives her? Max and Neil also forgave her when she betrayed them for Ered in Camp Cool Kidz. Like..immediately. With no bargaining. They were back to hanging out together instantly before Nikki even apologized.

3.) They're always together. I think I made a separate post about this? But it's the truth. They eat together. They sleep in the same tent (actually I'm not sure? Max said in episode 1 "I'll show you to our tent" and they have no issues sneaking out together all the time in the middle of the night- note that they don't all have that much access to technology so coming up with a time to meet up may be hard- implying that Nikki sleeps with them? And there are only two 'beds' I think but doubling up doesn't seem that unlikely for these three? So until proven otherwise I'm assuming they sleep in the same tent). They have DAILY adventures together. Like scheduled. Like they gotta spend it together. In Eggs Benefits Max wanted nothing to do with the adventure yet he followed Nikki and Neil anyway and spent the whole day letting Nikki drag him around despite whining the whole time. In Spooky island both Nikki and Neil want to leave at different points of the episode but they continue to follow Max anyway. These three really do just stick together all the time and maybe they've been branching off a bit more lately but they still spend a hell of a lot of time together? Like most of their time if I'm not mistaken?

4.) Nikki and Neil are...really protective over Max? Like I'm sorry but did you guys see the Foreign Exchange Campers episode? The moment Max decided to team up with someone else they flipped their shit. I mean, Max literally told them it was just so he could win. It was clear he wasn't actually choosing the other campers over Nikki and Neil? Like it's obvious they were still friends? Yet we still got lines like "What about us? We're kinda a thing!", "We dont need you anyway Max! And even if we did, we're just going to pretend we don't in the hopes that you'll be jealous and we won't feel as sad!", "I just can't believe he would ditch us! After all our adventures?!?", and "He looks so happy! At least he's found someone who can make him smile" like, god, they treat this like a breakup or something when Max just wanted to win the contest. Like they knew it wasn't personal. They knew he was just being a jerk and he didn't like the Foreign kids more than them. Yet look at this.

Look at these creeps watching him from the bushes instead of competing!

They were so volatile too? They called Brian "Kim-Chi" despite knowing damn well that Nurf wasn't calling him the right name. Nikki literally yelled "Shut up commie" at Vera. I believe Neil outright told them point blank "Max is OUR friend and you can't have him!".

This isn't the only example of them being defensive about Max (almost to a fault) but it's the biggest one off the top of my head.

5.) They l o v e each other. Nikki saying "You know what else I love about Christmas? You guys (Max and Neil)" or Neil saying "We were so afraid of foreigners taking what we love (Max) that we.." , etc. Like??? They're so very sweet? They really love each other guys and I'm screaming because they're so good? And Max hasn't outright said he loves them but god, we know he does. Like how he "didn't do this camp campbell" but "for you guys (Nikki and Neil)" when he pulled off this difficult convoluted scheme to get the camp back. They love and care about and support one another even with all their issues and it's just so good? And the trio's overall relationship is ignored way too much. Can we just..please..talk about them more? As a trio? Please?

#camp camp #cc max #cc nikki #cc neil #makkiel

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Note

currently t posing as hard as ever thanks to also being stuck in [i can't believe i have to create what i want to create] mode... comradeship... ✨🔮🍺⚡

ugh smh at all of us attempting to create anything......comrades in this mess for sure B/ when will we learn

✨ Favourite aesthetic?

i can enjoy some like Muted Atmospheric type palettes......like, dim lighting / atmospheric distancing, maybe some monochrome-leaning stuff, Desaturated Colors which is wild as i never use this aesthetic myself lmao and am being unusually “restrained” if i choose Non-100% Saturated Colors.......i like some nighttime / dusk type Visuals although then within that i like both like, more ~realistically~ muted/dark stuff And Also like stylistically brightened / more saturated blues than you’d Really see at night, plus maybe some Warm Lighting from some source, don’t have to lean full thomas kinkade with it or whatever but it’s good. and Sunset type lighting where there’s both like, some colorful Lighting but also more desaturated shadows.......i don’t go so much for earth / jewel tones really like, either Lighter & Brighter or Darker & More Muted is my like Palette sensibilities apparently

🔮 Any advice you would have given 10 y/o you?

i have to like count out like what year of school are people in at whatever age....that’d be circa 4th/5th grade i guess?? not much going on. 4th grade was that one [several scenes from julius caesar] where it was like oh this is pretty clear You’re A Theatre Gay (which i only put together v recently for how obvious it was lol) and also of Course You’re Trans lmao like, may as well explain not only what Being Trans is (i don’t like, particularly remember when i became aware of That Being A Thing was?? like i know i knew by 14 but...) and go ahead and explain being Nonbinary coz it Was a good few years before i like, heard of that as a concept.....speaking of the Circa-’10s Dialogue i could’ve explained “you aren’t obligated to like, lgbtq-dom to Come Out to your family” b/c my Attempt at that only inconvenienced me and it’s just not a good/true sentiment for anyone lol........took a minute to like, get Perspective on things where i had this assumption that i’d Age Out of what turned out to be more inherent issues like [you are autistic, and also queer, and ppl don’t always just Make Friend Groups by high school age lol] and [family dynamics are not all Like This and it seems like the ‘rents approach is Wild b/c it is and it’s not Really going to fundamentally change so just don’t worry about the Continual Strife lol not on you actually] like, there’s a real On The One Hand But On The Other matter where my getting to go away to college gave that chance for some crucial Distance / Perspective on things about myself and my existence, but also forever in “i kind of hate school despite whatever parts are alright-to-good” club and did i need to rack up the tuition-etc Costs, would i have been able to get the Perspective in high school? probably in part but i also would’ve probably hated the [academic] part more and also would’ve been around most of the same ppl since kindergarten and yet i was sitting at the Odds N Ends lunch table probably just reading, so even though i was also not magically Socially Thriving in college, it was better from that angle too.......maybe could’ve told myself to do Backstage Theatre Stuff, since there was that issue of “i like to Perform but didn’t quite enjoy Family Members seeing it lmao”......compromise about your theatre gayness? who knows. generally tell myself to not worry about being Not Unruly as much, see: [the conflict is inevitable and too fundamental] lmao from many angles......who tf knows what primers on [Political Awareness] i could give a 10 yr old, that’s sure developing more in those years............idk like there’s Much 2 Consider but at the same time even Theoretically i’m not pressed to mess with the timeline lmao. like really just Maybe the small tip like “people are trans and specifically being nonbinary is A Thing and you are not obligated to Come Out To Parents” like, lord knows you get enough of their [i suspect and resent my progeny is not gender &/or sexualitying Correctly] without even bothering to confirm it for them

🍺 Favourite drink?

damb.......i like a Coffee alright for like, non-practical reasons i.e. all caffeine is likely to do is make me even sweatier than usual........tea can be pretty good, i like fruit / mint flavors (separately...).......sweet tea / lemonade combo (or just sweet tea ft. like a lemon wedge) pretty much fucks, or just regular lemonade on its own lol.......orange juice is okay, teresa was talking abt orange juice And apple cider last night like yeah apple cider’s okay, i went from liking apple juice to finding it intolerable and now i think i Can power through it w/o enthusiasm but apple cider is always great. grape soda is good and so is orange soda, sprite, ginger ale......and also Grape Juice is rly good......s/o to Water, idk that anyone’s enthused or anything on average but thank you for the hydration........idk i’m just out here like Sipppp........just wanna avoid anything Overall bitter really (tea / coffee always gotta be sweetened.....if i’m having Alcohol it’s gotta be like some cocktail and even then i've like multiple times tried and failed to just power through a pina colada. various unsweetened Teas have also just been like, i’d rather have the plain water. oh yeah and sparkling water, tf is going on there, Gross......avoided it wholly for years but last i checked cherry juice Specifically is intolerable 2 me) but idk i guess yeah if you take the Average of everything the answer is just like. water.........this just epitomizes my Asks Answers lmfao there’s no real answer but i take forever writing down whatever thought crosses my mind in the course of figuring it out and go tl;dr n/a or [the most boring answer possible]

⚡ Ever had a Greek Mythology phase?

i feel like i’m sort of forgetting some aspects to the “not really but kind of” answer like, most summers i’d Partake in some sort of daytime 2-3 week Activities camp lmao and i feel like one of them of yore mayyyybe had some kind of greek mythology theme to it b/c we had yknow like these smaller groups and i think we had to come up with Skits explaining greek myths b/c our like 4-5 person group did Arachne and i’m fairly sure that everyone else’s was along those lines lmao nothing Completely Different.......most of what i really remember was like, first of all it’s that “i cannot simply Think Of An Idea” problem lmao like tf do you mean Create A Skit......but it wasn’t just Me so we worked around it lol. and anyways the most Memorable thing was like, the day before we were gonna Present these skits we were like “uh how are we gonna have a Visible Spider’s Web” and one of the people were like “i have like a sheet with a spiderweb design on it” and we were like are you gonna forget to bring it though, and then she forgot to bring it, and when someone in our group like told An Adult like “uh what do we do if a sort of essential prop is Unavailable” we were unhelpfully brushed off with “you’ll just have to use your imaginations” and so we bitterly were like Oh Is THAT The Sentiment Then............and what we did is like, i don’t remember what [sort of chorus / narrator] greek god i happened to be playing but i was the one to hold up the “web” like wow amazing weaving here, as per the myth of arachne, and since we didn’t have anything and were told to just use our imaginations to rectify the issue, i held up the corners of Absolutely Nothing and announced it was sure an incredible woven spider’s web, i.e. the audience had to Imagine It.........a real memorable event of Inspired Pettiness from us like 9 yr olds or whatever the fuck. lmfao. of course nobody would’ve given a shit either way but we were somewhat pressed about it so it was fun to just like, get that Stress brushed off and in turn go “ah fuck it then” lmfao

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 5 years

Text

Makeover fic. This is for my love. It's long but I'm a try to fit this into 2 parts because I'm stubborn. @amethyst1993

---

Part 1

Ken slurped the overflow of her grape crush soda from the top of the aluminum can and wiped the spill from the counter with her hoodie sleeve before pouring it into a red solo cup to fizz down. Erik, Shawn, and Travis were already in the living room with the TV on CBS and she could hear the superbowl commercials. “Ken, bring the nachos and hurry up,” Travis yelled and she snatched up the tray of cheesy chicken and jalepeno goodness balancing it on top of the pizza box.

“Why is Erik the only one in here who knows how to cook anything beyond ramen,” Ken wondered aloud dropping the goods onto the living room table before pushing her glasses back up onto her nose and taking her seat on the couch next to Shawn.

“Because y'all filthy niggas useless outside of good company,” Erik smirked grabbing a hot slice of pepperoni pizza while everyone else went for his homemade chicken nachos. Gnawing on a well-seasoned piece of chicken, Ken belched but continued her chew, watching the screen.

“Aye, but why can't you cook, Ken, wasn't your mom real traditional? I remember she made you wear them loafers and them catholic dresses with the tights when we were in middle school,” Travis chuckled reminiscing.

“Oh yeaah, them Throwback Thursday pics she posted. I seen em, she had the James Brown perm and then the two stick out braids like Snoop Dogg,” Shawn cackled and the room broke out into jokes.

“Akiki,” Ken mocked not finding any of it funny. “My hair was stiff because it was damaged that's why I cut it to my scalp. It grew back..” It was pulled straight back into a low bun at the back of her head as they spoke. She always wore a headwrap, however, so to their credit, they probably forgot she had hair.

“Oooo, aye Erik, remember when that girl you was with last year around February thought she was a nigga and tried to get at her? Big Ken almost took your girl,” Travis grinned as the football game finally returned. Ken sighed at the memory. It hadn't been so funny to her when it happened. It was confusing because as far as she was concerned she presented herself as a woman and it was obvious what she was. Irritated, she stuffed her mouth with a pizza slice and licked her fingers, wiping the residue on her baggy wide-legged jeans.

“I tried to forget. That one hurt my pride,” Erik scoffed.

“It's cool man, you still that nigga. You'll get her next time. She still on campus,” Shawn laughed good naturedly, elbowing Ken in the side, which was practically titty meat too. He didn't seem to notice then an odor hit Ken's nostrils and her face twisted in disgust. “My bad,” Shawn laughed, “It's the cheese.” Ken tried to fan the foul odor back in his direction.

“That's okay, I'll do you one better,” she said lifting an asscheek off the couch and ripping a ripe one.

“Dammit, nigga,” he coughed and Travis and Erik laughed. That was Sunday night.

A few weeks later, she was at the mall leaving Old Navy and saw a fine dude from her school's campus shopping in the Footlocker looking at a pair of New Balance sneakers. He caught her eye because he was tall and brown with a track runner's build, and had nice thick curly hair. She hesitated on whether she should approach him, afraid to be turned down and embarrassed. She knew for a fact that some men could be cruel when it came to women they weren't attracted to. Finally, she worked up the courage and she walked over to him. “Hey, um, you go to MIT.. So do I. I saw you from outside of the store and I thought you were attractive so I came over to see if I could get to know you and get your number.. something?” she spoke hopefully with a friendly smile on her face. His eyebrows rose as his mouth opened and closed, a bad sign.

“I… I mean.. I actually can't?” He squinted in apology, but Ken couldn't show her disappointment. “I'm kinda… already seeing someone,” he added, “...but thanks tho!” Nodding with a polite smile, Ken walked away but when she saw the same guy again, she was close enough to hear him shooting his shot at a girl who was with a group of her friends, all of them pretty like divas. She peeked out of the corner of her eye at her reflection in a random store’s glass window. Something inside of her was deeply hurt, but she didn't want to explore it and have the feelings break her down in public where she stood. She definitely didn't look like them. There was a reason why she never got male attention.. why no one ever asked her out or looked her way.. and she wanted them to.. badly! She hadn't gone to prom. She didn't go on dates. She still had her v-card and none of it was because it's what she truly wanted. She wanted love and magic. She wanted to feel wanted, admired, and pretty even if it was just one time. It was lonely being the only girl in a group of guys, especially when the group would get around other girls who they viewed as actual women. She was treated differently then by the men and the women as though she didn't belong in either category. It was an awkward feeling, being considered as sexless and unattractive. She didn't like it one bit, but what could she do? The only thing that came to mind was to call her best friend. Who else would she call?

---

"Wassup, Big Ken, what's this about," he asked walking into the kitchen as she followed. The smell of roasted potatoes wafted through the air.

"My bad, E, I didn't mean to interrupt you in the middle of dinner," she paused hunching over the counter. He looked over.

"Nah, you good bro. What was the 911?" He fixed his food, passing her to sit down and she took a deep breath.

"So, yeah, um.. You date a lotta women right?" He looked at her like she had three eyes.

"You tryna get hooked up? You ain't had to come over here for that. You could've called and I'd have s--"

"No, I don't need a hookup, Erik! I'm trying to ask you something, but you can't laugh. Just say yes or no." He waved his hand as if saying get on with it and she decided it was best to just blurt it out. "Erik, do you think I'm pretty?" Silence. He blinked in confusion and she sighed almost regretting her question since he couldn't even give her a straight answer.

"Excuse me?" That meant no. "Do I think you.. pretty? Define pretty.. I'm just saying.. pretty how because you not a ugly nigga you just need..," he shrugged hesitantly, "You the homie-" That was the last thing Ken wanted to hear.

"Nevermind, just stop.. please," she groaned walking away.

"What's wrong with you, you acting weird. You good?" He was genuinely concerned, she could hear it in his tone so she turned to face him again.

"I need you to help me. I don't know what to do. I'm not a nigga, I'm a woman and I'm tired of having that ignored. I wanna be pretty too where no one has to think about it."

He kisses his teeth, "Nig--Ken," he corrects, "You got personality and a good heart, don't you think that's better than looking pretty?" She thought about it for humor's sake.

"As smart as cool as I am... Would you date me?" She waited. He opened his mouth, with no words so she filled in the blank for him. "No, you wouldn't because I'm a nerd and I'm not pretty like the girls you date that get love and attention AND prettyboys like you to give it to them! I wanna be hot, Erik. I want to find love. You've never been in my shoes so you don't understand, but--" He waved again to cut her off.

"Nah, I get it. I mean, just looking at you now I could come up with a few suggestions. My only condition is that you gotta be on-board with all the changes I suggest." As long as the end justified the means, she would handle it.

"Done," she agreed quickly. Shortly after, she left.. content with his promise to clear his schedule for the following day. No classes for either of them.

---

"Your makeover starts today," Erik stressed standing over her. They were in a nail salon and Ken was laying back on a thin leather bed that she felt she was too heavy for, it was tipping and didn't want to hold her straight and level. A tiny Asian woman approached with a paper mask over her mouth.

"You want top lip, honey," the short woman asked. "N-" Ken started before Erik took over. "Yes. First, you need to wax them caterpillars she calls eyebrows, then that lil peach fuzz mustache, her hairy ass mannish armpits, and.." he turned to Ken moving her face from side to side, "Are you secretly Ashanti and ain't tell no one?" Her confusion cleared when he told the lady to wax her "longass sideburns".

She hissed, almost crying when the waxing strip ripped off of her top lip. A tear escaped and ran toward her ear. "C'mon Ken, you tougher than that. It can't hurt that bad. You see all these scars I got? You gotta suffer for what you want."

"Nigga I'm not like you, I don't get off on pain," she groaned angrily. He kissed his teeth.

"I told you that in secret.. damn. Just for that give her a bikini wax too, I know she got a wolf pussy." Ken flinched already afraid, but a Erik left the room giving her the necessary privacy. He could hear her pain from outside of the room and he cringed imagining his balls being snatched.

"Wax his armpits," Ken commanded when he'd finally re-entered. His body was already pretty much hairless.

"Hell no.. No.. Pfft," he shook his head but somehow he ended up with a strip on his underarm. He grunted, steeling himself when it was snatched off. "Ffffuck," he whispered.

"See," she laughed, still tender all over. When it was over and she'd been rubbed with alcohol she looked in the mirror and saw an extreme difference in her face. "Don't touch it, your fingers dirty," Erik scolded when her hand went up. "You got Flinstone fingers," he frowned. Her nails were bitten down, but it was a habit that was hard to break. He dragged her to a chair and chose a nail color.. hot pink. "Super girly," he prefaced sitting it on the table. It was her first time getting acrylics. They felt weird on her fingers, but she found herself moving her hands more when she spoke and maneuvering them gently so not to break her new nails. "Now them dogs," he said pointing to her sneakers.

She scoffed, "You might want me to keep these shoes on unless they got a chainsaw and a sander back somewhere." He rolled his eyes.

"Nigga, that's why you need it, so your feet don't look like you been kicking glass and bricks. Also, no more dairy. Pretty girls don't fart so you gotta stop that nasty shit.. I've yet to have a girl pass gas in my presence. Plus dairy is bad for your skin. No belching either or at least excuse yourself."

"I feel like I'm Anne Hathaway at princess lessons," she chuckled. Next was hair. Erik knew a girl who worked at a beauty salon/barbershop and he also knew the girl would do anything he asked so he called her and she picked up giving him a time to come by.

"I actually canceled a lady's appointment just to give you this spot. I know this lady is pissed as fuck at me..," she rubbed Erik's chest with her nails, "So you owe me..." she whispered seductively. Ken decided to mind her business and she sat in the chair, watching Erik's back as he left. While Erik was gone, Ken started talking to the stylist. Her name was Melissa and she was head over heels for Erik. She was also really good at hair. Ken's hair had been brought to life. She was rocking bantu knots and her edges were swooped for the first time. She absolutely loved her edges and she'd purchased the gel that Erik's girl used to slick it. Erik was also impressed and he slipped Melissa a cheek kiss, turning to look at you. "What you waiting on Ken? Pay the woman."

---

Clothes were next. He went over to Ken's place and went through her closet thoroughly throwing out her old beaten shoes and worn out hoodies. If it was dingy, baggy, or with holes, he trashed it with some resistance from her. She didn't want to let go. He had to remind her of their deal in order for her to back off. She was left with a few pairs of jeans and half the number of shirts. His next move was to take her shopping.. for bras and lingerie. He made her get fitted and buy her size.

"Just in case you get lucky. You wanna be ready," he encouraged, pulling various sets for her to buy. She seemed awkward about it but he was used to lingerie shopping and knew his way around. "If it comes down to it, you wear this shit right here and let that nigga rip it off you. You gotta be cute with it though. You know how girls be acting coy like they shy but you know they ain't?" He chuckled looking for dap, but when she only stared, he remembered that she didn't wanna be looked at as one of the boys anymore. "My bad, Ken.."

"While we're on that, I'd prefer it now on if you all called me Kendra," she said rolling her eyes. Erik threw his hands up, relenting. He followed her as she payed for the undergarments and then she allowed him to drag her into other stores.

"These pants are too small, I need a few sizes up or a longer shirt to pair with it," Ken grunted in the changing room as she struggled.

"Let me be the judge. It looks sloppy when you wear all that baggy shit. I always figured you just ain't care." It took her a while, but the changing room door opened and she walked out awkwardly, jumping and yanking at the jeans he'd given her to try on. His jaw dropped but she didn't notice. He was thankful for that.

"DAMN," he gasped, "Where all them thighs come from? ....Turn around?" He hissed like he was in pain when she turned and her ass was sitting like two globes fighting each other. She jumped and her ass shook as she tried to wiggle. Her waist was more tapered than he thought and that ass... He was speechless, mugging her ass like it was evil. He looked down and he could see his dick getting hard. Oh shit. He grabbed a nearby pair of pants off the return rack to hold in his lap and cover it.

"I need a size up," she sighed and hearing her irritation, he used it as an opportunity to escape without her noticing his erection, going to get the next size up. He couldn't get the sight of her perfect ass out of his head. He'd masturbated to way worse. Nigga, It's Ken, he reminded himself repeatedly. BIG KEN. The image of her belching and farting in competition with Shawn came to mind and it seemed to help him remember who she was, but now he had to deal with what had just happened to him.

---

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