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ughkat · 8 months

Text

focus on me | l.r.h

part six

part five here

college tutor luke au

{ things are getting spicy }

tutor!luke x fem!reader

smut, quickie, sneaky sex, bj, kissing, petnames, fluff, tutor x student, swearing

not proofread

Monday

10:45 am

My professors words were jumbled into incoherent mumbles, I bit my thumbnail relentlessly as my foot tapped the floor with anticipation. I had 15 minutes left of class before going in blind to my lunch session with Luke.

My eyes stared blankly ahead of me, every few moments glancing to the clock. The simple knowledge that Luke was present on campus turned my stomach. I had no recollection of what my professor had been speaking about, my mind had been swiped blank by the intimidating company of the blond close by.

I counted every second as the minutes passed, unconsciously ripping the skin from around my thumbnail with my teeth as I was growing more and more antsy in my seat. The classroom was filled with a soft hum of the air conditioner, accompanied with the occasional cough or sneeze from another student. I had no preparation for my meeting with Luke, as his demeanor and tone over text was difficult to read. I didn't know if this was going to be a regular, back to normal session, or something unexpected. My breath shook, I tried my best to calm my nerves as the class came to an end.

My professor offered Luke's tutoring to the class once more before dismissal, grabbing his own belongings for his lunch hour. I watched absentmindedly as students exited the classroom, my professor stopping at my seat.

"Luke seems to be running a bit late. You're free to go get yourself some lunch and come back," He began warmly, "Or you can wait here. Up to you." He smiled, giving my chair a light tap before making his way out of the classroom. My legs felt like jelly, I wasn't confident that I wouldn't tip right over if I stood up. I stayed glued in my seat, burning my eyes into the table in front of me awaiting Luke's arrival.

I bit my cheek, checking the time which was now 11:15. My anxieties began to turn to frustration, as I selfishly started to overthink he was late on purpose. I let out a heavy sigh, my tapping foot emitting a fast thumping sound. I knew that my frustration stemmed from the anxiety of suspense, but I stubbornly blamed it on his lack of time management. I swiftly whipped out my from my bag on the floor beside me, impulsively sending Luke an anxious text.

"Where are you? I'm waiting."

I sent the message with a huff, sliding my phone on the table. I leaned back in my chair with crossed arms, glaring at my phone as I sat silently in the empty room.

"Impatient?". I swung my head around abruptly as I heard the door creak open, a deep voice emerging from behind me. Luke entered the classroom leisurely, his face plastered with a smug smile and two coffees in hand.

"You're late." I muttered, turning back around in my chair with a straight face. I heard him chuckle from behind me, his large frame pulling up a chair beside mine. He set one iced coffee on the table in front of me, scooting it closer to my body. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, he flashed me an apologetic smile.

"I could've been late with no coffee." He tilted his head. His playful demeanor uncontrollably making me crack a smile. I gave in, taking the coffee from Luke with a small giggle. I took a sip from the iced drink, Luke remembering my order perfectly. He let out a small sigh before speaking.

"I'm really sorry, Y/n." He spoke softly. I turned my head slightly to look at him, his eyes burning deeply into mine. "I should've explained myself better for you.". I looked down to my drink, toying with the straw as I took in his words.

"Yeah." I spoke quietly.

"You understand my dilemma, right?" He asked, moving his seat closer. "You know I'm not doing this to you 'cause I want to?". I glanced to him briefly before back down to my drink, his gaze was intimidating. I nodded slightly.

"It just sucks, Luke." I began, "You expect me to just come to tutoring all normal again? Like nothing?" I narrowed my eyes, turning my head to look at him. Luke sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry." He muttered, "You think it'll be easy for me to just be your tutor when I want every single part of you?" He urged. I looked away swiftly at words. "This isn't any easier for me than it is for you."

I felt his body move closer to mine, his knee brushing my outer thigh. His face was only inches from mine. We both could feel the tension in the air rising by the second, becoming desperate. I looked back up to him, his blue eyes looking into mine deeply. I wanted nothing more than for him to take me over completely. He placed a hand on my thigh gently as he spoke.

"You're all I want, Y/n." He spoke deeply. We were lost in each others gaze, our faces only inches apart. It felt as though there was a magnet pulling the two of us closer together, slowly.

Inch by inch, Luke inevitably connected our lips gently, his hand on my thigh tightening its grip. I shivered at the promiscuity of our kiss in the very accessible classroom. The kiss quickly got deeper, Luke moving his lips against mine passionately. He moved a hand up to the side of my face, our breathing slowly beginning to pick up. Luke shifted in his seat at the growing hard-on forming in his tight slacks, whimpering slightly into my mouth.

He pulled away quickly, looking at me with heavy breaths.

"We can't." He lazily shook his head, wiping his mouth with his thumb as he stood up from his seat swiftly. I stood up from mine after him, moving into him closer.

"Can't we?" I spoke softly as I looked up at him, just above a whisper while I trailed my hands down his chest, running my fingers alone his waistline. My hands shook and heart beat fast as I boldly chose my next actions, but the desperation over powered my rationality. Luke let out a shaky breath, looking to the unlocked door just a few feet away.

"Y/n..." He breathed deeply, watching my hands toy with his pants button and zipper.

"No one will be in here for another hour." I smiled, looking down at my hands. I swiftly undid the button on Luke's slacks, the zipper right after, before I dropped to my knees in front of him slowly.

"You're crazy. You're so fuckin' crazy." Luke repetitively rambled at a whisper, anxiously running his hands through his hair as he watched me in awe.

"Just be quiet." I giggled. I palmed his already hard member over his pants, emitting a groan from his lips before pulling his pants down just enough to reveal his shaft. I looked up at Luke through my eyelashes, meeting his eyes as I swiped my tongue under his tip once. He let out a heavy sigh, placing a hand on my head, stroking my hair. I opened my mouth wider, taking Luke inside my mouth fully. He brought the back of his hand up to his mouth, concealing a moan as he tossed his head back. His hand rested lazily on my head, gripping my hair slightly as I picked up a steady rhythm with my neck, taking Luke down my throat.

"Fuck, Y/n, you're so good." He whimpered, his mouth dropping to an "O". I brought a hand up, pumping and sucking Luke at the same time.

I watched him as I trembled above me, glancing to the door behind him every few seconds. Luke abruptly pulled himself out of my mouth, grabbing me from under my arms.

"Get up here." He growled. He swiftly lifted me from the ground, placing me on top of my desk facing him. Luke leaned in vigorously and connected our lips, bringing his hands down to my waistband and pulling my jeans down just to my knees. He effortlessly propped my feet up, leaving my knees against my chest and eager heat exposed. Both of us shook with adrenaline, trying to quickly get our deed done in the public classroom.

"Can you stay quiet for me, sweetheart?" He cooed, lining himself up with my folds. I wiggled my hips eagerly, his tip prodding against my hole. Wasting no time, Luke slipped himself inside of me, letting out a breath as my slick walls wrapped around him. Immediately, a loud squeal escaped my lips, making Luke's hand fly to my mouth to silence me. His other hand held my leg up underneath my thigh as he let out a chuckle.

"Quiet, doll. You don't wanna get caught, do you?" He spoke deeply, picking up his pace. I looked down to where Luke and I connected, my toes curled at the sigh of him finally inside of me. I let out another muffled whine into Luke's hands as he kept up his vigorous pounding. I quickly glanced up to the clock, then to the door behind Luke, still cautious of our surroundings in the open classroom. Luke noted my concerns, moving my face with his hand to look back at him.

"Don't worry about anyone else, doll. Focus on me." He spoke deeply, looking into my eyes as he made me focus solely on his member pumping in and out of me euphorically.

"You like being fucked where anyone can see?" Luke chuckled, moving in closer and connecting his forehead to mine, "You like being my slut, doll?". I nodded frantically, my whimpers continued to be muffled my Luke's hands.

"Fuck, doll, you're so tight around my cock." He groaned, watching himself pumping into me vigorously.

Luke quickly glanced to the clock, noting we had 10 minutes until the next class would begin to arrive.

"How fast can you cum for me, baby?" He cooed, bringing a hand up to my sensitive bud, rubbing fast circles into my clit. I dug my teeth into Luke's hands, looking up at him. My walls began to clench around his member, my climax rising quickly.

"That's a good girl. C'mon, doll, cum for me." He growled, keeping a steady rhythm with his thumb and pounding. I tossed my head back, shaking under Luke as I released about his throbbing member. My climax bringing him to his on my thigh quickly after.

With no time for catching a breath, Luke quickly retreated any tissue box he could find and cleaned his mess from my leg, assisting me in standing up and putting my pants back on. We silently slumped back into our chairs, breathing heavy as we collected our thoughts. Beads of sweat collected at Luke's forehead, his blond curls sticking to his skin. My hair laid messy down my back.

"That's not what I meant by we'll talk on Monday." Luke half joked, giving me a side eye. Giving us no time to debrief, the clock ticking to 12:15 and my clueless professor bursting through the door made us quickly adjust ourselves in our seats, trying to act nonchalant.

"Afternoon, Luke." He greeted with a smile, making his way to his desk. Luke smiled with a nod, his ability to act like he wasn't jack hammering me into the table just a couple minutes ago bewildered me. "You're real sweaty. Good session?". My professor raised his eyebrows, still completely clueless. Luke glanced to me briefly with wide eyes, then back to the professor.

"Definitely. Getting better every session." He smiled smugly, turning to look at me. My professors eyes flashed to me, my eyes now meeting his. I smiled with a nod at confirmation.

"That's right." I spoke. My professor nodded, placing his books onto his desk enthusiastically.

"That's great to hear, Y/n.". Luke and I shared a glance, unsure of our next move as I had a class I was now late to. Luke stood up with an uneasy sigh, meeting my eyes once more before turning to the door.

"Uhm. I'll see you tomorrow.". He gave me a look as if to say something which was unsaid. I watched as he exited the room, left to my own devices until I heard from him next, which was too left unknown.

254 notes · View notes

bratzforchris · 10 months

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Life on Tour

Summary: A social media blurb about your and Luke's life on tour with 5 Seconds of Summer

FC: Sabrina Carpenter

A/N: I love doing these cute lil blurbs :) I haven't had a ton of time to write since I just started back to college, but I did want to get something out for you all since you've been so supportive lately! If you have any other blurb ideas, send them in my ask box!

❃

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, crystalleigh and 51,876 others

yourinstagram post show ice cream hits different

View all 5,320 comments

lukehemmings Pretty girl 😍

wayf_luke CAN LUKE HEMMINGS FIGHT?

yourinstagram idk man ask him

michaels.bad.omens she's so pretty it's unfair 😭

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, mmataband and 47,675 others

yourinstagram luke is such a tourist guys 💓

View all 4,346 comments

calumhood where's my photo credit

yourinstagram sorry cal<3

penguinluke96 i literally love them so much 🥺

sunshine.ash MOM AND DAD

lrhupdates

Liked by lashtonspenguin, 5s0supdates and 1,987 others

lrhupdates It looks like Ashton went sightseeing in Colombia with Luke and Y/N today!

View all 345 comments

y/n_updates ashton is the best photographer 🥺

5secondsofmuke omg were mikey and cal there???

ashsgreyhound imagine walking the streets and just bumping into these three omg

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, 5sos and 97,834 others

lukehemmings Y/N said it best...we sold out MSG. Thank you a million times, I couldn't be more grateful ❤️

View all 11,934 comments

michaelclifford that was my cookie

yourinstagram dude you ate like 5

5sos Our best promoter ❤️❤️

lover.of.y/n SHE'S AN ICON WTF

yourinstagram thank u babe🥺

lover.of.y/n I GOT A Y/N REPLY OH MY GOD

yourinstagram

Liked by yourbestfriend, lukehemmings and 31,456 others

yourinstagram swipe to see my favorite 5sos member

View all 6,346 comments

niallhoran twins

yourinstagram love ya niall<3

ashtonirwin Why isn't it me?

5sos because

yourinstagram i love you too ash 💗

5sosupdates The cutest couple there is 🥺❤️

calumsbassguitar i'm so in love with y/n omg

lukehemmings

Liked by ashtonirwin, yourinstagram and 87,978 others

lukehemmings Even on tour Y/N figures out how to make the best meals 🥰

View all 15,007 comments

yourinstagram <3

lukescatch22 MOMMY AND DADDY

lukehemmings Not anytime soon

glittereyesluke LUKE?? OMG??

snapbackmike95 Can you fight tho?

wastedheartslashton Pretty boy 💗

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, 5s0s_updates and 54,845 others

yourinstagram missing this girl lots today 💕 p.s. daddy says hi tuney<3

View all 11,076 comments

luke_is_a_penguin_96 DADDY?

y/ndaily There's no way we're already calling Luke daddy 😅

5sos4ever PETUNIA SUPREMACY

⌗

➜ taglist: @lukesbolts @thatmarvelgirly

238 notes · View notes

hischeapcigar · 11 months

Text

You don't go to parties anymore

Modern Eddie Munson x ex reader

Summary: Eddie keeps looking for you in his parties

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: angst, mentions of drugs, drunk eddie, curse words, small reference to smut (if you squint)

a/n: this was inspired by the song stuck in my head, “you don't go to parties” by 5sos and obviously i had to do something about it lol. Reblog and comments are appreciated <3 also comment if you want to be tagged in eddie one shots in future. Mwah

Another Friday night, another party. Like a routine, like a spiral. Eddie Munson, big doe eyes were hidden by the bags under his eyes. Hair messed up like he fought a monster. And his well known smile, that everybody was attracted to like a moth to light, was gone with the wind, gone with you.

He doesn't remember when was the last time he slept through the night. He stays up, drinking, distracting him with different things, or parties on friday nights.

Why did he keep throwing these parties every week? He wasn’t sure. But his eyes keep searching for that familiar pair of eyes, those pretty eyes, your eyes.

It was 5 am Saturday morning, and Eddie's apartment was crowded with every person he knew, while he laid on the sofa, drunk. Sweaty bodies are dancing, people are still drinking in the corner while some are passed out on the floor in front of him.

He eyes them carefully, everyone, there’s Nancy and Robin talking about something, Steve is drunk dancing with this blonde girl he can’t remember the name of.

It's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

“Eddie! It was my turn,” you whined as you reached out, snatching the joint from his lips. He chuckled as he watched you bring it to your lips, taking a deep breath. To say he adored you was an understatement.

You both lied, on your backs, in his bed, taking turns smoking the joint. It was midnight and you had snuck out of your house to jump in Eddie’s car. Now you both were here, spread out on Eddie's bed, smoke surrounding you.

He turned to face you and draped his arm lazily around you pulling you flush against him,

“You’ve had enough, baby,” he whispers, gently taking the joint from your fingers and slightly getting up to smash the butt of the cigarette in the ashtray.

“I can handle, eds” your voice was dreamy, low and distant. Your mind was in higher clouds, the ceiling was your window to the galaxy as you watched the shooting stars.

He hummed, pressing his lips to your jaw. Eyes droopy, you both faced the ceiling, sides pressed to each other, hallucinating a whole new world until you passed out.

I still think about the times we were heavy

Racehorse tripping on the dirt that you got on me

Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

We go stupid every night, what a tragedy

Eddie’s mind started to darken with each passing minute, as every memory of you haunted his brain. He felt a pang in his heart, begging and praying to see you one more time. Just one more time.

He looked at every corner of his house where he fucked you relentlessly, he looked at the balcony where you stood up all night to watch the sunrise together,

His lips started to tremble at the surge of memories, each one hitting him close to home. His mind was foggy, he was losing it. Like he always did everytime he let his mind wander to you, always back to you.

I'm still here in the darkness

Back where we started

You make me a heartless monster

I'm caught up in distractions

Fatal attractions

I'm starting to come undone

A part of him wanted to kick everyone out, he was tired, the voices in his mind too loud. He glanced, once again, at the bodies, hoping that you were there, hoping he overlooked your figure the first time.

And now it's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

His eyes zeroed at the girl, whose back resembles yours. He stood up abruptly, seeing stars immediately, he shook his head to focus. Stumbling, he made his way to her. A bottle of wine clutched in his hand tightly.

He tapped her shoulder,

I'll talk to y/n. I’ll make it okay, we’ll be fine, this is it. I’m sorry y/n, give me one more chance, give us one more chance.

She turned around, and his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of a random person. She wasn’t you. Of course you wouldn’t be here

He nodded and smiled, or tried to, before he raised his bottle to her. She politely shook her head ‘no’.

A string of curses left his mouth as he shifted his weight and leaned on the wall on the side. The girl immediately shifted her attention from her friends to him.

“Hey, are you doing well?” she asked, obviously interested

“Hmm” he nodded, bring the mouth of the bottle to his lips, taking a swig

“You know i, uh, recently broke up with the most beautiful girl ever,” he slurred

She looked taken aback, she didn’t expect this. Anything but this.

“We, uh, were together for 5 years,” his pitch went high for the last part that he uttered

“I thought you were her, but you can never be her” he chuckled, shaking his head, gulping the wine.

“Excuse me?” she was furious,

“Yeah… y/n…y/n was the best part of my life” his bloodshot eyes were distant as if mentally he’s still in the memory

“She used to make me laugh on my worst days and-” his words fell short as he saw the woman had gone away.

He shook his head, he really was losing it

I got the last five years running out my mouth

Always stay too late, I should kick me out

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

“Watch your words, Munson” you threatened, your voice shook despite the efforts of keeping it strong

“I’m fucking done, y/n, i can’t do this, you want too much” his voice raised slightly

“Too much? Asking for your fucking time is ‘too much’? You elevated your pitch to match his

Another day, another argument, like a routine, like a spiral. y/n’s big pretty eyes with tears swimming at the edge, dangerously close to falling.

“I think it's time to put an end to this relationship,” eddie stated, devoid of any emotion

And there came all your tears, pouring on your cheeks as the words rang in your ears.

You wanted to reach out to him, hold him, tell him you’ll make it through together, that this is just a rough patch.

But you stood there still as you watched him walk out the door.

He covered his ears with his hands as he headed for the balcony, running away from the bodies, from the loud music, from himself. His own last words to you haunting his mind, he wanted to scream to silence everything.

He spotted Argyle and Jonathan being only physically here, their minds wandered off when they sniffed the powder. He walked up to them, seating himself beside them, reaching for the pills and crushing them on the table.

Lost my limit 'cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate

Took my foot off of the break, it's not an accident

All my friends are up on Mars, we've been traveling

Another lonely night

“In time we’ll build a home for two” Eddie blurted out as you both hiked up the small hill.

“Eddie! You’re being-” your breaths were ragged

“You can tell me i’m being corny, but it still won’t make me sorry,” he cut you off, grinning widely as he looked at you, nothing but admiration in his eyes

“Don’t you think about our future?” he wondered out loud,

“Of course, i do, all the time” you think about the nights where you think about two of you when you can't sleep

“Yeah but i have a feeling you’ll have enough of my dramatic ass and leave me,” he teased

You glared at him. You both knew you hated whenever he brought up ‘you leaving him’ because you loved him too much to choose something else over him.

Ironic. How fucking ironic.

He glanced back at the crowd which had shrunken. He scanned the room from the balcony once more before he let the powder get a hold of his mind

And now it's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

The sun had started to rise, the sky displaying beautiful colors. He smiled at the scenery, remembering how you used to get lost in the beauty of it all.

“y/n used to love it so much,” he revealed to the boys beside him, but they were too high to listen to him. That didn’t stop him, only encouraged him

They’re not listening, I'll pretend they are

And so he did. He rambled on and on about you. Anything he could remember about your relation, he voiced it, good or bad.

He kept talking and sniffing the powder.

Again

Then again

And once more

Until he blacks out.

He doesn’t remember anything except the sky burning auburn, cocaine powder all over the table, your voice in head and then-

He opened his eyes, vision still blurry as he tried to get up. His hand reaching on the other side of the bed, seeking your warmth, like a habit. He winced at the coldness that resided there.

He was in his room, in the same clothes as last night.

His head hurt so bad like someone banged his head against the wall. He tried to get out of the bed when he saw Steve entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

“You gotta pick yourself up buddy,” steve said

“I-” his voice was hoarse, mouth dry.

Steve handed him the glass, which he gulped like a thirsty man in the desert. Steve took a seat beside him, legs dangling.

“It was worse this time, eddie” steve tried to get his attention,

Eddie’s gaze was stuck at his door,

Maybe you’d enter, laughing. Maybe you decided to return to him. Maybe just maybe he could have a second chance. Maybe this was all a bad dream,

Steve’s voice pulled him from his daydreams,

“your nose was bleeding, man, you gotta sober up, just try and get over her”

In a beat, he replied, “i don't want to get over her, Steve”

You

Just the mention of you has him talking. Talking non stop about what you two were, what you two could have been

I got the last five years running out my mouth

Always stay too late, I should kick me out

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

His chatter was cut short when Steve’s phone rang, which he attended walking out the door.

Eddie was left alone with his thoughts. He turned and extended his hand to get a hold of his phone.

Once in his grip, he opened your chat, re-reading the countless texts he sent you.

“Please come home” he sent one more, like every other day.

Eddie put the phone away as he saw Steve approaching him with his phone extended to Eddie, “its y/n”

Eddie couldn't believe his ears, or eyes or anything, he wasn't registering the situation. He scrambled on the bed, practically leaping out to meet steve’s phone half way, as he practically snatch it and placed it on his ears,

“y/n?” his voice was shaky, his body was trembling

“Eddie?”

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

188 notes · View notes

let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol · 2 years

Text

Watermelon Su-Flower Fields

A/N: ya girl might've been a bit inebriated while writing part of this. . .getting back into writing smuts are hard lol

Calum HoodXFemale Reader

Warning: smut smut smut, female oral receiving, fingering, foul language, doggy style, unprotected sex, illegal activity (public exposure), soft touches, abuse of food*

*If I missed anything please let me know

The blanket was soft to the touch, its dark blue color contrasting against the vibrant colors of the flowers. You had stumbled across the area. Well more so got lost and found yourselves in an abandoned flower field. You didn't mind though, a warm smile making its way onto your face as you watched him take things out of the picnic basket. "There's literally no one around," he laughed in awe, taking a glance at your surroundings. You could see a glint in his eye when his gaze landed on you. Something brewing in his head and you weren't sure what it was.

"I hope you like watermelon," you said, unboxing the fruit and holding the container out to him. He grabbed one of the cut up cubes, popping it into his mouth. Some of the juice spilled onto his chin and he swiped it away with his thumb. You watched intently as he picked up another piece, but this time held it towards your lips. You leaned forward, mouth opening slightly as you took the fruit into your mouth. Your tongue lightly grazed his thumb and you could see his eyes darken.

"Maybe we should eat this lunch backwards," he said, voice a bit rasp.

"Backwards?" you muttered in confusion. He nodded, cleared his throat, and moved his hand to rest at your uncovered thigh.

"Yea, you know. . .dessert first then the entrée." His thumb began to rub soft circles into your thigh and you found yourself becoming wet at the feeling.

"Oh," you chirped, catching onto what he was saying. You smiled then leaned in for a kiss. His grip on your thigh tightened as he deepened it. Your mouth opened to grant him access to your tongue. You hummed in comfort and your hand crept towards his crotch. it was when you palmed at his bulge that made him pull away from you.

"I thought we were going to eat dessert first?" He said confusedly. You eyebrows furrowed.

"W-Were were not doing that?" you asked, thinking dessert meant sex. You watched him reach into the picnic basket and pull out the strawberry shortcake you had baked, and suddenly you felt embarrassed at the miscommunication. "Oh shit-sorry, I had thought." Calum began to laugh at your flustered state, and he placed the dessert to the side and tugged you towards him.

"I'm just fucking with you," he laughed harder at the stunned look on your face. You rolled your eyes and tossed a piece of watermelon at his face.

"Ha ha. Not funny!" you grumbled, lips falling back on his. Calum smiled into the kiss, and his hands gripped at your waist as the two of you began to makeout. You straddled his lap, hands lacing into his hair and tugging at it. Your hips rolled into his and Calum moaned into your mouth. "I think you owe me," you grumbled against his lips, teeth lightly biting at his bottom lip and dragging it out. Calum pushed at your hips and you slid off him.

"I can think of a way to make it up," he smirked. Calum picked up another piece of watermelon and leaned in towards you. You met him halfway, taking the fruit into your mouth and biting half. "Lay on your back for me," he coaxed, taking the container of fruit. You did as he said, the hem of your dress slightly lifting up. Calum looked down at you with raised eyebrows and you nodded lightly. He lifted the rest of your dress to expose your abdomen and lace underwear. With one fruit already in his mouth, Calum placed a few pieces along your skin. The cold fruit felt ice cold against your hot skin.

"What're you doing?" you giggled, leaning up on your elbows to watch him.

"Adding some sweetness to an already tasty gal," he said, making you roll you eyes at how cheesy he sounded. You laid back down and closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of Calum's fingers dancing across your skin. Soon you felt his lips on yours. Before you could kiss back Calum pulled away. He sent peck to your forehead then kissed all over your face making you laugh. Calum continued kissing you, and your breath became shallow when you felt him take the watermelon that was rested between your cleavage into his mouth. He kissed at the tops of your breasts then continued to eat and kiss down the rest of your body. Your breath hitched in your throat when he kissed at your clothed heat. Calum could see the affect he had on you and you jolted in your spot when he placed more pressure on your sensitive nub. You hips lifted when you felt him tug at the hem of your panties and soon your bottom half was exposed to the open air.

"Wait wait-what if we get caught?" you gasped in surprise, hands reaching down to cup Calum's chin in your hands before he could do any more. He looked up at you with a pout.

"We found this place because we got lost," Calum said, pointer finger brushing between your folds. "We're legit in the middle of nowhere." His thumb added pressure onto your clit and began to circle it. A small whimpered moan left you lips and your hands removed from his face and down to your sides. Calum smirked, lifting one of your legs so that your calf rested against his shoulder. Your vision blurred a bit when you felt his tongue take a long swipe from your hole to your clit. Your skin lit ablaze and your back arched as he sucked on your clit. A loud moan left your mouth.

"Fuck, Cal," you huffed, eyes closing in bliss. Your wetness mixed in with his saliva gathered in a pool underneath you making the picnic blanket damp. Calum nipped at your clit and you felt him slide a finger into you. Another finger was added and he began to thrust his fingers, teeth lightly pulling at your clit. Loud obscene moans fell from your lips and you could feel Calum smile against you. His hand reached up to massage your breast and a thumb ghosted over your nipple. You shuddered at the feeling, your own hands gripping at his hair. His name tumbled from your lips and Calum stopped for a moment, pressing your clit harder.

"Tell me what you want, baby," he requested, lips puffy and sending featherlike kisses to your bikini line.

"I want you," you choked out, already feeling your orgasm bubble up inside you. You lifted onto your elbows to stare at him through hooded eyelids. Calum sat up, hands leaving your body and making you pout in response. He loved when you wore sundresses and the one you were wearing now was making him extremely hard. Your hands reached for the button of his pants and before Calum could even take a breath you had yanked the fabric down. Calum held in a moan when you grabbed his cock. As much as he wanted your lips around it, Calum wanted to be inside you more. You could tell just from the amount of precum that had gathered at the tip.

"You know what I wanna see?" he said, cupping your cheeks and leaning down to kiss you. You kissed back with passion, tasting yourself on his tongue. Calum pulled away and you nodded already knowing what he wanted. Calum stilled when you began to stroke his cock.

"Turn over for me, baby," he said against your lips. Teeth sinking into his bottom lip so he could concentrate on not trying to cum in your hands. You pulled away from him and turned over so that your ass was facing Calum. He smiled at the sight, hands immediately going towards his second favorite part of your body. Calum's hands rubbed over your ass, fingers brushing between your folds once again. You wiggled your ass closer towards his cock and he smiled.

"You just like to tease," you muttered, a small whimper leaving your lips when you felt the head of his cock push into your entrance for just a second and then out again. You frowned in response, balancing yourself on one hand while the other reached back to stroke his cock.

"Ya know I'm getting a bit peck-ish maybe we should eat," Calum teased even more, faking as if he was pulling away from you.

"Calum, I swear if yo-oh fuck," you grunted at the feeling of Calum pushing into you deeply. Your eyes squeezed shut as you felt yourself adjusting to him being inside you. Calum swallowed hard, his own eyes closed and breath shallow. When you stopped pulsating around him, Calum began a slow thrust. His hips snapped into yours at a steady pace and you started to push back against him to meet his pace. One hand gripped tightly at your hip while the other snaked its way up the side of your body. Calum leaned forward a little and sent a kiss to your spine. Loud moans tumbled from your lips and he held you close as you lifted up until your back was flush against his chest. Calum moaned into your ear making you wetter than before. He knew how much you loved to hear him moan. Knew you wanted to hear how good you made him feel.

"Just so wonderful," he whispered, peppering the side of your neck in kisses. You went back down to rest on your forearms and his pace increased. The sound of skin slapping against skin mixing into the songs of the birds. There had been so much sexual tension between the two of you since the day started. Small touches here and there, Calum sucking into the skin of your neck. He had been holding out for a while.

"I'm not gonna last long," Calum warned, fingers reaching down to rub at your clit. Electricity shot through you, your skin feeling a bit raw as your body moved against the fabric of the blanket. Your nipples were hard and you pinched at it. The two of you were loud, and Calum pulled out of you. You turned over to face him and Calum spread your legs open, curling his hips into yours until he was deep inside you again. His face rested in the crook of your neck, and your head turned to the side to capture his lips onto yours. You moaned into his mouth beginning to feel your orgasm approaching. Calum hiked your leg up higher, going in at a different angle and hitting at your g-spot. You squeezed yourself around his cock creating more friction. You knew what would happen, feeling him twitch inside you. "If you're not careful you gon-" swears flew from Calum's lips, when you repeated the action. Your hand reached between your bodies and you rubbed at your clit, hips rotating up to match Calum's pace. You were on the brink of a release and wanted Calum to come along with you. You sucked on Calum's sweet spot and clenched around his cock once again. His body stiffened above yours and your back arched off the ground as you reached your high. Calum quickly pulled out, one hand going down to finger you through your high, while the other pumped his cock as he came over your stomach. After a minute or so his fingers slowed within you. He was panting hard and rested his forehead against yours.

The two of you sat in silence, allowing your breaths to even out. Calum laid down next to you, a goofy grin on his face when you made eye contact with him.

"Well I've definitely worked up an appetite but now I'm sleepy," you laughed, looking down at his pool of cum on your stomach. Calum sat up to reach into the picnic basket. He pulled out some napkins and the macaroni salad you had packed. Your eyes lit up at the food and you hummed in happiness when he handed it over with a fork.

"You packed a feast," Calum said, beginning to clean his release off you. You glanced at your surroundings as you ate, mumbling a 'thank you' towards Calum for cleaning you up.

"Are these wildflowers?" you questioned with a smirk.

"Don't even dare!" Calum groaned out already know the joke that was brewing in your head. You started laughing, and before you could even get the joke out Calum tossed a piece of watermelon at your face. You gasped in surprise and stared at him in shock. "I won't hesitate to throw more at you," he warned. Your lips pursed and you decided not to tease him. Knowing good and well he got enough of those jokes from the boys and fans, but it still made you smile. You had found the perfect picnic spot. Your fantasies of being fucked in a flower field now satisfied.

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moonlitstay · 1 year

Text

[12:03 am] badboy!chan

chan smiles as he watches you walk in, wearing one of his baggy shirts. he wastes no time in grabbing your hand in his, pulling you down and onto his bed with him. enveloping you in his big arms, you giggle.

you look at his arms, covered in tons of beautiful tattoos, leaving no skin untouched. you find your eyes trailing to one tattoo in specific though.

your name.

your name in an arrowed heart.

you reach a hand up to trace a finger over the tattoo and chan smiles.

"god, i love you so much."

#if you guessed i was listening to 5sos slsp while writing this you would be correct #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan blurbs #bang chan badboy!au #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz blurbs #skz badboy!au #skz x reader #skz fluff

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theshyspy · 1 year

Text

bookstore au with ashton irwin - headcanon

Based on this request from the very talented @littledrummerangie,thank you for sending it in lovie🦋

He was a bookworm who loved the familiarity of the known. He didn’t even notice how everything was a routine: the way he went to the same cafe and browsed the menu but got the same coffee each time, before heading to the usual bookstore a few feet away.

Which was why Calum was so confused as he stopped outside a newly opened bookstore, his eyes fixed at you moving inside it. In no time he had pushed the door open and started browsing through the shelfs, waiting for you to ask if he needed any help.

He swore you had the voice of an angel as you moved towards him, smile on your face as you wondered if he needed anything. (He didn’t, but) shortly after you were recommending all sorts of books.

He was so quick to return the next day, claiming he forgot to get one of the pieces on his wishlist (something he definitely hadn’t). He was just hypnotized, adoring the way you strang your sentences together and how all your opinions was so reflected. He could listen to you talk about anything for hours.

Every other day he would come up with a new excuse and be back again, not that you minded. He was your favourite customer, always smiling and asking about your day. Once in a while he even brought you coffee (he swore the barista had made an extra on accident but it happened way too many times for it to be a coincidence)

You always looked forward to your meetings, but was getting impatient, kinda hoping he would ask you out.

He most definitely wanted to ask you out. But it had to be perfect, something you couldn’t say no to.

So when your favourite author came out with a new book, he figured it was his time to shine.

At the end of your shift, he was waiting patiently outside the door. A basket resting on his arm, filled with food you’d briefly mentioned you enjoyed. To say you were surprised was an understatement, but you followed with a smile plastered on your face as he said he knew the perfect reading spot.

And that’s how you ended up with your head in his lap, his fingers gently playing with your hair as you fell in love with both your new book and the man beside you.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin au #ashton irwin bookstore au #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin headcanon #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin 5SOS #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin x you #ashton irwin x yn #ashton irwin x reader #smitten kitten #calum hood

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 5 months

Text

Sweet Dreams--Part 7

Calum and you have dance around reality for a few months now. But after Calum leaves and returns from a trip, the reality has to be confronted.

Weeks are passing and maybe more is blooming between you and Calum than might meet the eye.

Prince!Calum x Reader Insert.

CW: Smut across the series. This particular part is smut adjacent (mentions of BDSM, kinks/fetishes)! Mentions of parental neglect, and alcohol abuse across the series as well.

Series Masterlist

My Complete Masterlist

Calum checks his watch. The face stares up at him in blinking gold and lets him know he’s still got a little over an hour before he should pull the plug on work and get ready for the date. The black dress shirt he wore for sessions is overkill for the date. He’d already promised that you didn’t need to dress up. Besides, if Calum’s honest the starch on his collar has made it stuff to the point he’s worried he could chaff him. Thankfully at this point in the day, he doesn’t need it buttoned up so he takes a moment to undo a few buttons. The air rushes in, cool as it skates over his now exposed chest.

78% of constituents responded no when asked if they felt Cabinet responded in a timely fashion to major crises (historically). The cursor stares back at Calum now. The data’s on his other monitor. He could see it with just a glance of his eyes, wouldn’t even have to move his head entirely, but something about the words feels hollow. They’re true. It doesn’t feel like it’ll be enough. Calum’s not lying, nor is he stretching the numbers to fit his narrative. It’s a haunting thought that no matter what Calum does it will never be enough, yet, this is all he’s got. This is what all his effort is culminating; this is all that he has left for this vote.

It’s the anxiety, Calum knows. If so much weren’t riding on this, Calum is sure he would continue on with ease. But there are stakes. Every word feels like it must carry twice the weight. So Calum’s twice as slow to put the words down on the page and to string together sentences. By the time he gets another two sentences down, the blink of the cursor is burned behind his eyelids. Calum can recite the paragraph by heart as he reads and rereads the sentences that precede each new one he writes.

This isn’t a new anxiety; Calum feels it when he has to deliver a speech at events. The intent is very much different. Calum is not speaking to a crowd, gathered for the same agenda. He is antagonizing. He is directly pointing a finger and it will no doubt cause a ripple. People will squirm. They’ll push back and rebel. He can imagine the disappointed stares, the murmurs that might arise between members. But this is what they need--a fire, a disturbance. Someone’s got the rattle the cage in a way that they’ll actually fear.

Though, Calum can’t rattle a cage with a cursor blinking at him with no words.

A knock sounds from his door. He huffs before pushing up out of the chair. No one should be at the door. He’s not late to any meetings. His phone and email would’ve alerted him to that. It could be someone from the cleaning crew coming through for quick rounds but they usually make last rounds around 6:30, sometimes 7. “Coming,” he calls out as he rounds the edge of his desk.

The other person remains quiet. With another glance at his watch, Calum wonders if this will be good enough to call it quits. He still needs to change. He’s got half an hour but he worries that if he forces it, he’ll become so frustrated nothing will come. The door creaks and Calum just happens to take note of the shoes first before taking the long glance up. There you stand, sneakers and jeans with a button up and motto jacket to seal the deal. The jacket looks well worn, molded around you, but well kept. While there are some spots that look a little lighter than others, Calum knows when leather’s been polished after doing it to his own jackets plenty of times.

“Hey,” Calum greets, pulling the door open further for you.

“Hi, I know I’m early. Is it okay if I hang out with you until you’re ready to go?”

“Of course, baby. C’mon.”

Your steps are slow as you cross the threshold, head circling to take in the sights. Calum knows his office isn’t that impressive. A lot of the decor was well established before he acquired the office--namely the desk, office chair, wall color, couch, and table. There are a few pieces--pictures of family, Duke, and friends-- that Calum’s framed and put up. The thought pops up to do more, but Calum never gives into the command.

“If you’ve got suggestions for how to decorate an office I’m all ears.”

“It’s nice,” you return with a laugh. It’s soft as you spin on your heel to face Calum again. “May need a new paint job.”

The beige walls are a bit drab, but they do their job nonetheless. “Got a color in mind?”

“Red,” you answer. It’s definitive, leaves you with little hesitation.

Calum whistles at the answer, pressing on the door until the locks click. The noise of the hallways--mostly folks shoes on the floor--is shut off from the interior. “That’s bold.”

You settle into the couch, right on the edge as you peel out of the jacket. “I’ve heard that about myself a time or two.”

“Is it cold out?” Calum asks. He doesn’t imagine it to be that cold. Not yet anyway. There were hopefully still a few more weeks left before the chill of October descends. Granted, Calum’s always liked the warmer weather anyway. He doesn’t want it to go away ever.

You shake your head. “It’s my fanciest casual jacket,” you return.

Calum pauses. He has a hunch, but doesn’t want to come across as insensitive. You don’t have any need to worry about what you dress like. That’s not a concern of his, but more and more he wonders if this is a manifestation. “You can always borrow something from me if you want,” he offers. “But I don’t think I have anything as cool as that jacket, so.”

“It’s silly, isn’t it?” you return, placing elbows onto knees as you hold your face up on your knuckles.

“What is?”

“To worry.”

Calum has guesses on what it is that you worry about. Yet, again, he won’t make assumptions. “About?” he asks.

“My looks. I’m not really dating the public, am I?”

“Technically, no, you’re not. I know the pressure exists. If they’re talking about me and scrutinizing me, whomever I date gets some fall out too.”

You nod, falling back into the cushions now. If this didn’t feel so important, Calum might make a joke about it being a fainting couch now with how you’ve thrown yourself into the corner of the arm and the back piece of furniture. However, it is serious, so he reframes.

“It’s just the worry talking. I know it is. I know it doesn't matter.” It’s soft as it leaves you, deflating your chest as you push air behind the words.

“Worry’s got a loud mouth sometimes,” Calum concedes. It is a loud voice at times, even for him.

“That it does. How’s it going with you though? I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Perched onto the edge of his desk, Calum shakes his head. “I’d never dare call it an interrupt. Perhaps, a distraction though.” It leaves him with a grin and your smile is all the return Calum needs.

“Oh no, I’ll leave and bug Janet instead.”

The threat doesn’t sound hollow either. “I’ll behave, I swear. You need anything? Water? A snack?”

“I still technically work in that kitchen and this palace for at least another two weeks, I can get it if I need anything.”

“Fair, fair. I have to ask though. As your boyfriend, it is my duty.”

“A job you do very well,” you whisper. The space hardly carries it to Calum’s ear, but when it does settle it makes his chest warm. “Now, you do have work I suppose, right?”

With a shrug, Calum lifts from the desk. “I mean there’s always work. But if you’re asking where my priorities are, it’s not with Cabinet bullshit.” It’s a bit of an odd angle to bend over the couch, but Calum does it, holding himself up by the back of the couch and the arm, effectively caging you in with his body.

“How dare I do such a thing?”

“How dare indeed,” Calum whispers in return before pressing a kiss to your lips. “You’ll help pick out my outfit, yeah? Once I get done?” It’s a small request, but he hopes it helps. The two of you can be on the same caliber this way. It’s more symbolic and still Calum prays the offer is enough.

“Of course.” You press another kiss to his lips and then slip back down further into the plush cushions.

“I can take a hint,” Calum laughs.

He does take the moment of your soft laughter to gently nip at your cheeks, it’s just his lips, but he still takes a little chomp before pushing up. At his desk, settled back into his seat, Calum watches the way you curl up into the arm of the chair. Your socked feet slip a little on the leather, but it doesn’t take long for you to settle.

“I’m not the work,” you laugh again.

Calum huffs, but does turns back to face his screens. It doesn’t help that he can spy you out of the corner of his eye. It really doesn’t help that the cursor is still a blinking curse. His fingers settle onto the home row of the keys and the dread trickles back in. The first draft doesn’t need to be perfect. He has two days before he’d address the Cabinet. Yet, he does still need to get the first draft done. Just a first draft, Calum reminds him. He just needs a first draft. His fingers are slower this time. The tap of the keys holds a longer echo, but the words start to fill the page.

With another half page filled, Calum glances at the time. It’s about eight minutes from when he originally said he’d stop and get dressed. Though he could press on, he’s worried that he’d lose track of time too much. So he saves the document and jots down some mental notes of the things he wants to mention next. It should be enough when he comes back later on tonight to help jog the memory.

A bit of moment catches his eye and he turns, to find you peering up at the bookshelf in the office. It’s a lot of legal stuff. There are some history books scattered amongst the shelves, with the occasional self help and nonfiction books. It’s a rather boring collection, but they’ve all got their own practical uses to Calum. There’s more interesting ones in his collection in his room, he knows. But you seemingly hold each one with a high regard of interest as you trail a finger down the spines.

“See anything interesting?” Calum asks.

“You’ve read all these yet?” you ask in return.

“Most of them. There’s a few I didn’t finish all the way, but keep as references.”

“Well read,” you tease as you rattle off one of the nearby titles.

It’s a book about the political soundscape of grassroots movements at the turn of the century. It’s outdated now by a thousand miles and reminds Calum to see if the authors have anything more recent that they’ve published.

“All a part of the job,” Calum laughs. It can feel like a boring part, but a part nonetheless. “But I’m at a good stopping point right now. Okay if we leave out a little earlier?”

Your nod is immediate. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

It’s a rather quiet walk up to his room, palms pressed into each other as your fingers thread through his. It’s a welcomed and comforting silence, warm as it fits between the two of you. Calum lets you into the room first and then follows with an immediate action to remove the dress shoes. The exhale is heavy from his chest. “Hate those things,” Calum mutters to himself.

Calum stops behind you. There’s a bit of anticipation, how you’ll stay rigidly at attention in the threshold of his closet, but you lean back just a little. It’s just enough to bring the scent of your detergent to Calum’s nose. The heat of you starts to seep through the dress shirt. Then there’s another small step back. Your back is pressed snugly against Calum’s chest. The touches have always been easier here, in private. Yet, they still always send a surge of electricity through Calum’s body. They never get old.

“I’m going to get you out of these button ups,” you remark. Your fingers slip through the racks. “I don’t care if it kills me.”

“I’ll care,” Calum whispers against your ear.

He watches as you pull out yet another button up shirt. The red snake stitched into the collar stares back at Calum. It feels so silly to say the snake knows the exact secret Calum is holding. It’s more than likely less that the snake knows and more that Calum’s uneasy about withholding from you. It’s all for good reason, but it still makes his stomach quake. Nonetheless, the shirt does not fit the particular atmosphere of the restaurant.

“No, too formal,” he interjects.

“Is this fucking Gucci?” you hiss. It sounds less like an accusation and more like disbelief.

The name is tacked into the back of the shirt. Calum squeezes gently at your waist. He'd forgotten that he had been given this shirt previously. It'd just been hanging and he hadn't worn it a year. “If I say no, does that change anything? I think that was a gift, if it helps.”

“Oh,” you return and then place the item back onto the rack. You eventually settle for a yellow button up and hold it up to Calum. He takes it with ease.

“That doesn’t sound like a very convincing answer,” Calum states. The long sleeves of the dress shirt roll a little as he peels himself out of it. The black ribbed tank underneath will be fine even with the new shirt. But he will not be leaving the ends tucked in.

“No, I am convinced.” It doesn’t take long for you to pull a pair of jeans down from the tiered rack. They’re more of his work jeans, given by the hole forming at the knee, but Calum doesn’t object to the item as he takes it from you. “Only time I’ve seen Gucci in real life was from a window. Call it disbelief.”

It’s all you say before you pass Calum his pair of black Doc Martens. How utterly simple: call it disbelief. Perhaps, that’s all it is. The reality of the two of you wrapped into one phrase: call it disbelief. Disbelief that you felt so bold enough to reciprocate when Calum cracked open the door. Disbelief that when you needed slow, you were given iy. Disbelief that even the threat of outside voices have not yet broken inside.

With the boots laced, Calum grabs his keys and wallet from the desk. You’re leaning against the door, arms folded over your chest. While it could be so easy to say that you look displeased or bored even, Calum sees what’s just behind those eyes. There’s a small twinkle. Your lips turn up and Calum can’t think of a time he’d fight his own grin in return. “Do I look good?”

You nod. “Really good.”

Calum’s yet to see himself fully. But he doesn’t need to. “Hair looks okay?”

Like a dog, you tilt your head just a little. Calum wonders if the angle is to hear or to see better. It’s only a few seconds later that you’re pushing up and towards him. It only takes a few rakes of your fingers before you smooth and comb through the strands. “There you go.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“You’re welcome, love.”

Oh--that’s a pet name that Calum’s not sure he could get used too. It’ll always make his stomach flutter. It’ll always make his heart race. His tongue becomes heavy and awkward in his mouth, so much so that he doesn’t trust himself to even work through a response. He takes your hand instead and just smiles, feeling the heat lick at his cheeks.

“Oh, he’s blushing,” you tease, but walk through the opened bedroom door hand in hand with him.

There’s nothing to say, no way to deny the truth so Calum continues on down to the elevators. He’s always happy to accept his fate with you; that is no shocking revelation. There’s no need for disbelief with the thought.

“I did some research on Forest,” Calum confesses as he pulls out of the back lot.

Your laughter is soft. “I’m sure you did.”

“The owners seem really caring. They do a lot of community events.”

“That’s what Turner said too.”

He knows that. You relayed it to him. “And you’re sure this is a good fit for you? Seems like a great place, but I also don’t want you diving into just any old thing.” Calum’s sure if it weren’t the right option you’d know. You sounded so enamored after the interview; he just wants to make sure that none of that has faded. It’s his responsibility, a duty to make sure that regardless of what you were doing it was the best thing for you. Even if it changes, of course.

“Does the perfect job really exist?”

Calum knows he doesn’t have much experience to articulate an answer. But he waits. He knows there’s more. Perhaps, there is no perfect job--just better and better fit ones.

You continue on, “I don’t think it’s perfect, but it’ll work for now. And if I hate it, no one says I have to stay there forever. I could always move on.”

“How freeing of a thought,” Calum returns. For you, he means. You don’t have to say some place that’s not working for you forever.

“Are you now saying you regret your duties?”

A valid question, even Calum can admit that. “No, I think it's a job with flaws though. Things that would be nice to change about it, but ultimately, I’d waste more energy on those things than truly necessary.”

“If you ever do start to hate this, taking the throne, could you not leave?”

“Hadn’t considered the thought,” Calum returns honestly. He never had much of a reason to consider what it might be like should he leave. Calum’s not even sure if he’d ever want to leave. Not without something major of course. It’s not his own volition that would send him away. It’d be something external, something that weighed more and mattered more than his own sense of responsibility.

Your hum acknowledges Calum’s answer. But the more the streets unfold in front of him, and the more Calum considers the thought, he wonders if you’re asking something else. “Do you not want this? You can tell me truthfully.” It's not meant to corner you, just to open up the conversation should it need to be had.

“I want you; I’ll tell you a thousand times if you need it. I understand what comes with it.” It’s such a simple response, but it levels Calum. You have the ability to speak plainly, to say if something wasn’t working. You are aware that each choice you make has its own consequences.

Calum knows it’s ridiculous to keep dancing around the same fire. You are more than capable of making your own decisions, of understanding what comes with it. The hard reality to face is that Calum knows it’s not fair. He knows you’re not asking for scrutiny just because of him. He knows you’re not asking for crushing worry or guilt because of him. He assumes if given an easier option, you might choose that. Perhaps, that’s the true fear. This is not the easy choice. It’s not the choice Calum thinks he would make if he were you. Maybe he’d taken it slower, much slower than the two of you are right now.

Yet, you continue to make the choices that all lead to him. Yet, he continues to make the choices that all lead to you.

“Worry has a loud mouth,” you state at the red light. You cup his cheek.

Calum can feel the sting behind his eyes. He turns to you, blinking away the haze of tears casting shadows over his eyes. “Yes, it does.”

Over the console, you stretch and press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m still here. I’m still choosing us.”

It’s a whisper over his skin--a prayer Calum wishes to carve into his bones. When the light turns green, Calum takes just a second longer to take in the warmth of you before facing forward again. The confession bashes at his teeth, but today’s really meant to be a celebration. It’s about you. It’s about the victories you’re facing. Besides, Calum’s worried about what he’d choose if he were in your position, a path that his life hadn’t lead him down. No one knows what they’d choose if their positions were different. It is a terrifying beauty of life. The worry of his what-if is not from a position of current reality.

In the parking lot of the restaurant, Calum takes your hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. You are choosing him and he is choosing you. You nudge his face upwards from the kisses along the back of your hand and the two of you share a small kiss.

“Love you,” Calum whispers against your lips.

“Love you.”

“Now, don’t move a muscle, I’ll be on your side in a second.” Calum offers the command knowing the risk of it falling on deaf ears. But he does command it anyway. As he shuffles to the passenger side door, he finds your head peering out of the car. He helps close the door behind you though. “You don’t listen too well, I see.”

“Only when I know it doesn’t matter too terribly.”

Calum’s gut reaction is to take your hand, lead you inside, but he remembers. That you need things to be slow. His only concern is that undoubtedly the longer he’s here the more word will spread about the location. It’ll get busy, but not unbearable. “Let’s head in, yeah?”

“Please.” The simple phrase is coupled with you reaching out to hook your pinkie around his.

“Of course.” Calum’s sure to keep you side to side with him as the two of you take the short walk inside. It’s a hole in the wall kind of place. Run by one family for the last sixty years or so. But the food’s always good and the patrons that frequent are usually older--a softer and quieter place to visit. Even with the sports on and the older men grumbling at the bar, there’s very little in the way of ruckus.

“Just the two?” the hostess asks. She’s new--Calum can tell that much. But she doesn’t seem phased by his presence which is more than welcomed.

“Yeah, just the two of us,” Calum returns.

“Booth or a table then?”

He turns to you and you shrug in response a fraction of a second before you speak, “Booth, I’d guess?”

“Booth,” Calum confirms and lets you walk in front of him as you’re directed on where to sit.

Settled into the cracked and squeaky leather of the booth, you and Calum both take a moment to look over the menus. Though it’s a menu Calum’s seen a hundred times, he still eyes it to see if his favorite mushroom stew is still on the glossy lamented menu. Once he’s sure it is, he takes a look up at you. He watches you, the way you’re looking over the menu and everything threatens to come up this throat again--the secret in the back garden, the worry on the drive over earlier. It’s all too easy to think you’d make space for it. But he withholds. He can bring that up all at a later time.

“What do you suggest?” you ask, looking up finally.

“What are you in the mood for? Soup and salad? Burger? Something else?”

“Burger,” you return.

“The Double Stacked is pretty good. It’s thick though, so if you don’t want too much meat, I’d suggest Barn Raised. It’s got a fried egg on it.”

“You clearly come here often.”

“It’s good food,” Calum defends.

“I’ll try Barn Raised. I don’t think I have the appetite today for Double Stacked.”

“Everything okay?” He hadn’t asked about your day before. By your early entrance and his work, it hadn’t been a topic, but it wasn’t off his radar.

“Yeah, things are good. I just, I have to tell Janet. A little nervous about that.”

Janet won’t be an easy person to tell about your departure. He doubts anyone on staff would be happy to hear about you leaving, though he’s sure they’d all know the reason behind why. Though Janet especially is not easy. A benefit is that she was there when Calum advocated for you to have more time and better benefits in your severance. Yet, he distinctly recalls that she left that meeting with a wobbly chin.

Calum nods, reaching out across the table. It’s an offer, if you want his comfort through touch. “It does sound hard. I know she cares about you a lot.”

“I care a lot about her. And everyone else. I stay late a lot to help folks out, things that don’t feel like they should be a problem, but are.”

The confusion pulls at his brows. Calum feels the frown on his own face. “What do you mean by that?”

“Do you know the last time new uniforms were ordered for the folks that work in the kitchen?” you ask.

Calum’s not sure how this is supposed to answer his question, but he pauses. He hasn’t looked into anything about kitchen staff if he’s honest. Not at least in a year or so. No one had brought it up as something that was pressing. “I-I don’t remember the last time. At least a year.”

“Two,” you correct. “I mend what I can when people need it, but new uniforms haven’t come in in two years for us hosting. Do you know how many people eat at the castle because the chefs over prepare?”

Yet another question Calum can’t answer. So he shakes his head no, though it’s already starting to dawn. “I wouldn’t have a clue.”

“I’d hazard a guess that about 60% of your staff live with roommates because they can’t afford it on their own. Another twenty percent or so, have second jobs. Some are still at home. And it’s not to say that we aren’t paid or we’re getting scraps. We’re just not getting enough sometimes. People have other responsibilities that money goes to first. You, Calum, are not immune. As much as I don’t want to hurt you, you are not immune to economic disparity blindness. It has always been right around you. You just never knew what to look for. Not in your own home.”

It feels like sinking, Calum realizes it only after the drinks have arrived. Only after he’s spun his cup around, stunned into inadequate silence. He’d been right in the middle of his own web. The very thing he was about to accuse a Cabinet of doing, he’d done it himself. He wants to say something, wants to disprove the point. Yet, he can’t. He doesn’t recall the last time he spoke to anyone or anyone had spoken to him about the budget for salaries inside the castle. He can’t recall a time where there wasn’t an overabundance of food in that kitchen at breakfast and lunch for everyone to eat. It always felt purposeful, like they were doing this because it was the right thing to do--give the folks there a good meal or two for their shift since they were working and the food would be there. Calum considers-a bit selfishly-it was the right thing to do at some point. At some point it is just a thing they did because it made the most sense, but now it carries on out of desperation.

Now after ordering food, after he’s worked open his jaw from its clenched state, something like disbelief works itself over his tongue. “But-” and yet there’s no real rebuttal. He could ask why no one’s brought it up before. But why hadn’t he looked into it himself? Why hadn’t anyone demanded higher wages? But why did someone else have to do all the work? Calum knows he can’t do it all myself. He’s one person. It’s too much weight for one person to bear. Yet, none of his advisors had brung it up.

To say, I’ll look into it, feels too dismissive. Though it bashes against his teeth and it is true, Calum can’t say that. He doesn’t want to belittle the sentiment or the vulnerability needed to express your thoughts. Instead he nods, lifting his gaze from the worn wooden table of their booth. “Thank you. For telling me.”

“Thank you for listening.”

The sip of Calum’s sweet tea is sour. Not that the drink has gone bad, but because the guilt coats his tongue. He is not immune, not that he’d been willfully ignoring obvious signs. He hadn’t been taught what to look for. He hadn’t questioned it because it hadn’t been questioned to him. He just simply did not know; an ignorance born out of circumstance. An ignorance Calum can’t afford to keep swimming in. If he wants to make real change, he’ll have to start with himself.

The whole night isn’t soured thankfully. You hum around the first bite of the burger you’ve ordered and note that you plan to come here without Calum more often. It’s a bright spot to see the delight crossing over your face. He’s glad that you’re enjoying the food. He hadn’t run into an issue with the place and enjoyed it, but there’s always an unknown with others. It’s warming to know that so far, you’re enjoying the place. However, no celebration is complete though without dessert. The dessert and drink menu coexist and Calum memorized the desserts by heart at this point. But he still slips it closer to you.

“We can’t call it a celebration and not get dessert,” Calum teases.

“I think we could.” You take the menu though. “I won’t tell if you don’t tell.”

Calum laughs with a shake of his head. “Get whatever you want.”

“Would you have some of what I got?”

“If you were sharing, of course. If not, I’d lick up the crumbs.”

You snort. “God, Calum. I wouldn’t torture you like that, unless you asked of course.”

“Well, I’ve considered dabbling in masochism once or twice.” It’s not a whole lie. He has found himself vaguely intrigued by the idea, but has never once seriously considered it enough to bring it up to any previous partners. Not that they stuck around long enough for him to consider breaching the topic with them. It’s not all inherently malicious of his or their own doing. Most of the time it’s quite clear what lines should be crossed and which ones shouldn’t.

But something dances in your eyes. Calum watches the way you watch him. You seem to dance down from his face over his neck and chest down the length of his arms. He wonders if you’re imagining something different than the scene in front of you; would it include rope or wax? Perhaps, there’s something much more sinister behind the deep irises.

“Are you saying all I need to do is ask?”

“I’m technically implying it, but yes.”

It’s a heavy stare that you level him with; intense eye contact and a smile that lifts one side of your mouth higher than the other. He knows that look, knows what it means. His toes curl in the boots and the cracked leather under his thighs is suddenly way too hot. The denim feels damp when he shifts a little and the stiff construction of the jeans brush over his growing erection. He is damned but it does not matter. His heart races, a prickle of sweat forming on the end of this nose and under his pits. Yet, Calum feels no obligation to move. The panic doesn’t make him want to flee. He wants to be consumed. Swallowed whole by whatever desires you have.

“But perhaps another time,” you shrug and then smile as the waiter approaches.

“Oh, looking at the dessert I see. Anything catch your eye? I recommend the apple pie. Best thing on that menu,” the waiter comments.

You hum, casting a quick glance down to the menu with a nod. “I’ll go with that then. Is it served with ice cream by chance?”

The water nods. “Sure is. Always,” they laugh.

“Perfect. Could I get it with two spoons?”

“Absolutely you can. I’ll be right back with it.”

Calum is sure he resembles a stone carving, held in place by a prickle of fear that if he’s not careful more than just pictures of a date may surface. Something caresses his ankle, it’s a dulled sensation thanks to the thick leather of the boots but the pressure remains as the movement traces up along his shin before it drops. There’s an uproar from the bar, men and women huffing about some game. It’s not quite football season yet. Teams should be headed into conditioning now and games starting in about October if not a little earlier. But the noise is a perfect backdrop. You bring his hand to your mouth and kiss the back of it. The action is coupled off with a tease bite--hardly with enough pressure to cause redness, but just enough pressure to start the recognition of pain-- and the whimper slips. It’s swallowed on the outside of the booth by the roaring crowd but inside of the booth the sound resonates.

“There he is,” you tease, reclining back into your seat.

Before Calum can blink himself back to the reality of the restaurant, the plate is settled into the middle. Two spoons sit off opposite sides of the apple slice. The dollop of ice cream is starting to melt and trickle over the sides. All Calum feels capable of doing is staring. His muscles are locked, part of it is a small bit of embarrassment. He’s hoping no one heard it, and another part of him is wondering what happens if someone did. What might the world think of him if they only knew?

“C’mon,” you encourage.

Calum blinks now and sees the spoon near his face. It has a good scope of ice cream and pie on it, too much that it looks like it’ll topple at any second. But a balanced portion of both items. The ice cream drips just a little onto your lower, waiting palm. It feels like it falls in slow motion until it hits the crevices of your palms. Time speeds back up. The noise of people talking, the clink of forks on plates sound back up in Calum’s ears. Always a sneaky one, you are. Always looking for those buttons. And you always find them. Calum never shies away from their exposure.

Calum inches forward to swipe the sugary concoction into his mouth, but not without taking hold of your now sticky palm. The urge to lick your palm clean hits Calum. After swallowing down the bite Calum swipes up the melted ice cream onto two fingers. He sucks his fingers and watches the shift of your weight from your side of the booth. “Tastes better that way,” he grins and then takes a spare napkin to dab up the excess.

“I am sure it does.”

The pie doesn’t last long between the two of you. While it was a decent size slice, the apples are cooked to perfection; melting every so slightly with minimal chewiness. They don’t melt instantly, but they are soft and cooked thoroughly without turning into a slurry mush. It’s all too easy to take scoop after scoop. The spoons settle against the empty plate with a perfectly synced clink.

“Anything else?” Calum asks. He starts to rattle off about the fudge brownie they have but the shake of your head is vigorous.

“No, no, if I eat anything else I’ll pop,” you huff.

Twilight is settling by the time Calum and you push off the leather seats and start back to the car. The purpling sky is interrupted by the distinct flash of a camera only a few moments after Calum opens the door for you. It’s clear to tell the sight startles you and he takes your hand, sliding now to block your body with his.

He wishes he’d prepared you more for this. He’d prayed that no one would show up. Yet, as fate would have it, someone always does. The second flash is slow to come. There's probably just one person hanging around. “You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“I’ve got you if you want to keep your head down. Just…just stay close, alright?”

Another flash blinks through the darkening evening. Your step is small but inches you into Calum’s space. “Okay.”

Thankfully, it’s a short walk. You stay just a half step behind him and the entire walk is just bursts of light. There’s a voice that calls out, but Calum ignores it, listening instead for the thud of your shoes on the concrete. Calum’s already palming the fob to his car to be ready to have the doors unlocked and get you inside as quickly as possible. Two more shutters sound before the pair of you get to the car. The lights flash as Calum unlocks the doors and helps you inside, still attempting to shield you as much as possible.

“C’mon, Cal. Give me something. We’ve been at this a long time together.”

The voice of the pap is clearer now and when Calum does look up, only briefly, he notices it’s the same guy who started a rumor nearly two years ago about Calum out with a friend, Nicole. She and Calum met in college. She went off to Physician’s Assistant school a year or so after they graduated college. Nicole comes back into town for the holidays to see her family. It’s usually then during that break that she and Calum get together anymore--usually for dinner with other friends if they can all manage a good day in their schedules. That one dinner, which had dwindled down to just Calum and Nicole due a bad flu season, had been captured on film though that year. Like fire only needs oxygen--the platonic dinner went up in tabloids like a new sparkly romance. Save for the fact that weeks went by with no new updates or sightings so it quickly quieted down.

“Fuck off,” Calum returns to the pap and lifts up into the driver side of the SUV.

“I take it you don’t like him,” you quip after Calum’s pulled out of the parking lot.

“I don’t think I really like any of the paps that harass me. But him in particular, I don’t care for.”

“What’d he do?”

The thing about the photos is that it hadn’t caused a ripple in the slightest for Calum’s life. Though Nicole did have to eventually move practices where she was working for safely. “Jeopardized a friend’s safety,” Calum answers. “He didn’t doxx her, but it was still pretty bad.”

“Is he particularly fond of stalking your favorite places to go?”

“Sometimes.” He’s not there often, but he is there frequently enough that Calum knows him by sight now. Though Calum can’t pinpoint the car the guy drives, Calum can always pick him out in a crowd now.

“Are you okay? Guy seems like he comes up a lot then.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you? I know the flash can be dizzying.”

“I’m okay. The first time it went off it was a lot. I finally understand why deers freeze sometimes. I would’ve been roadkill.”

“Sorry I didn’t give you a proper heads up.”

“No harm, no foul, Calum.”

He catches that. No pet name and though Calum is dying to hear it again, he understands. It’s still a nice sound, the way you say his name--soft like coaxing a scared animal out of hiding; needing to exude as much gentleness as possible as not to unravel the fragile moment.

“Sounds like you’ll need some new hang out spots though? A place you can just breath with no nosey Nancy’s around.”

“I had a place,” Calum returns. “Well, I guess I still have it. It still exists. Just needs some sprucing up.” He could say that, though it is in the middle of already being renovated. And it’s not really his anymore as it is something he’d like to share--something he can include you in on.

“Could I see? I know it won’t be in the most pristine condition so you literally don’t need to warn me.”

It is killing me. He wants to show it to you but he thinks about what your reaction might look like should it be revealed when it’s all done. Calum knows he can't keep this secret for too long. It'll kill him if he does. He wants to tell you about all the updates on the project.

The roof was repaired a couple weeks ago. Now there’s some paneling in the midst of being fixed up. Once that’s done the outside can be painted. The inside’s been gutted and waiting for the wall and the floors to go down. Next he’ll see what he can do about getting at least a space heater and a tiny area for at least a kettle in the winter and a fridge. It may be more than It’s not a long project but it is one they’ll need to get complete before the weather gets too cold or the rains come. Fall can be weepy at times and would only serve to set them back if the take too long to finish it.

Perhaps, you’d enjoy knowing now. Calum knows he would. He’d appreciate not trying to hide on the calls the work he’s been doing or trying to shower before he sees you, a bit more difficult given that he works on the renovations mostly on the weekends and you’re at the castle too at the same time. You’re working usually, or asleep in his room, but it’s still right on the edge of being caught it feels.

“You don’t have to show me. I don’t want to push you,” you state.

“I-No, it’s not that. It’s not that I don’t want to. I started some work on getting it in good shape. So, just be warned,” Calum laughs. “It’s still a little rough.” He doesn’t know when the project will be fully done anyway. But the building still stands, there’s still a place Calum goes when he wants to get away.

“I’ll be sure to give it some extra grace.”

It’s like you give either a little extra grace lately with him. Calum is grateful to hear you say that, the way you don’t seem phased at the prospect of something not being complete. Calum guesses the irony in all of this is that nothing in your life has probably felt complete. Maybe you don’t worry about that because even when you get somewhere that feels like you could settle it’s pulled out from underneath you. Maybe turbulence has become akin to peace. The only hope Calum has is that he can ease the rocking seas, that he can help you get to a point where you’re not always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He can’t brute force it. You’d asked him to promise that and he wouldn’t break his word. Yet, as the skies continue to darken and the light of dying stars twinkles above his head, Calum hopes this can be a small respite. A small place for you to have peace like he did here. The garden’s aren’t necessarily lengthy as they are wide. To walk it lengthwise would only take a couple of minutes, but to take in its depths is a journey of many more yards. There are rows of bushes and flowers outlined on the grass path. There are containers that rest above the ground near the back. It’s easy to spot their shadowy figures amongst all the flora around. There’s some vegetables his mother grows. She likes to still work the land with her hands when possible, so they keep up the container gardens for her.

But back in the depths, back behind the new gardening shed lies the place Calum used to escape too. Even before the old shed was gutted out and replaced, he’d walk the soft path down and down and down until he reached the edge. The old shed remains only because Calum insisted on it. Had it not been for him, they’d taken it down fully, used parts of the innards and exterior for the new one. But Calum asked to keep it up. So when he couldn’t sleep, when the worries pressed so loud in his own ears, he’d walk using stars as light to the old shed. Even in the rain, bundled in a coat, his boots sloshing in the wet grass, Calum would come out to the old shed. He’d unhook the latch, shimmy his way inside and watch out the window across from the one folding chair he kept at the ready to the stars. He’d listen to the sounds of the night--in the summer chirps of crickets, in the winter the soft whisper of snow.

“Your mother’s spinach might be ready to pick.”

Calum turns to the right, where he knows his mother’s planted spinach just a few weeks prior. “How can you tell? I can’t tell ever when it’s ready to be picked.”

“Just a guess since it’s dark right now. I watched her when she planted them and I know they won’t last too much longer if they aren’t picked now. The night and morning temperatures are getting dewy.”

“Do you garden?” You hadn’t mentioned it before. Calum would be intrigued to know if he might be able to find another link between you and his mother, something else to keep you two close.

“Mrs. Shirley did. I’d help her sometimes.”

“And Mrs. Shirley, were you close with her?” Calum can’t place the name, but wants to be sure he hadn’t missed something important. He also doesn’t want to be made a fool if she’s important.

“She’s who taught me how to make the biscuits. It’s her recipe.”

“Oh, wow. Was she an instructor in culinary school?” Calum never considered to ask where it came from. Just knew that yours were vastly different than the last chef--sweet without sacrificing the savory integrity. Soft, but never chalk-like.

“No, I met her when I was volunteering at a homeless shelter while in school. I worked early in the morning to help prepare breakfast like I do now.”

“You’ll have to tell her that her biscuits are a big hit amongst our family and the entire staff in general too.”

You nod. “Yeah, I’ll let her know.”

Your eyes look a little glassy, not quite like tears are falling. But they could. They are threatening at the edge. Calum pulls you in closer, hands slipping down to your waist. The jacket has kept you well and warm, as he can feel heat radiating off you. “What is it, baby?” Calum asks.

“I just--I haven’t talked to her in a while. I hope she’s doing okay, you know?”

“We can call her next week. How does that sound?” He doesn’t want to put the onus just on you. There’s few things in life that a five minutes spared can’t help or fix. The least he could do is be there as emotional support if you needed it. Calum presses a soft kiss to your forehead, nose burying just a little in the hair at the top of your head.

“I’d appreciate that.”

“Anytime, baby. C’mon, we’re almost there.”

It’s past the probably ripe spinach, and the containers of cabbage when the newer, brighter green building opens up, Calum continues on down, off the grass onto the gravel. Just behind the hedges that outline the gardens rests the old shed. There’s lumber still out, leaning and resting against each other. The work table is stationed a yard away to the left. The power tools are tucked inside or housed separately in the garage. But the old shed still looks like it used to in some ways. Still a rectangle with chipping blue paint.

“I didn’t know this old shed was still up. I thought they tore it down,” you comment. “Or at least that’s what I was told that it was torn down.”

“I asked them to keep it up but they told me the only way to let it stay was to put the new one directly in front of it from the farther vantage points so it’s not so much of an eye sore. But I come here, when I want to get away. The inside’s a lot cleaner now too, thankfully.”

“Inside? Who do you have working on this project?”

He watches you take a few steps closer over where the bench usually holds the blueprints. They shouldn’t be still out, given that this week did have the potential for rain in the later half. From what Calum can tell, they've been collected. “Well, it’s me and a few others actually,” Calum answers.

You hum as you softly inch closer and closer up. “Any plans for it once it’s restored?” Your cough is swallowed by the innards as you poke your head inside. Calum holds onto the door so you can cross through fully.

“Uh, not sure yet,” he cautions. “But could I run some ideas by you?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. But I mean it’s your spot, so whatever you want will probably suffice.”

Calum nods. He is sure whatever he did choose would be okay. But still he wants to make sure he’s going in the right direction for you. “I just need a second opinion, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m happy to assist.”

“So, here, I’m thinking about adding a little mini kitchen island. Cabinets at the button and an outlet for a little mini fridge and maybe at most an electric kettle. The back wall would be mostly storage--shelves. Books, or something.” Calum shuffles to the wall opposite of him, where he normally sits but is currently now housing more lumber, stain and miscellaneous tools. “I might keep something else on those shelves too.”

“Like what?”

Calum shrugs. “Some art supplies. Don’t know. But here,” Calum motions around him. “I’m thinking of a little couch. I don’t know. Some kind of seating. I was considering building some benches into the wall like in the kitchen with a little table and then some stools or other chairs to be scattered about. Just a little cozy spot to hang out.”

You’re nodding, attention elsewhere as if you might be trying to picture what Calum is describing. But Calum’s breath is caught in his throat like a pill that didn’t get washed down with enough water. It is a lump, poking, and Calum won’t be able to release it until you address the one little line, some art supplies.

“Is there a safe way to get the power out here? Looks like it could get awfully cold in the winter. There isn’t much else around to break the winds.”

“We’re looking into some solar panels. I’ve got a time scheduled with an electrician next week to make sure it’s all good.”

He wants to tell you more--how he envisions you out here, stopped up on a stool or possibly standing while he’s on that bench in the corner, watching. The strokes of your brush are faint in his imagined scene, but the windows are open with a spring breeze coming through. Perhaps another puppy is soaking up sun at Calum’s feet.

Yet, you haven’t cracked the code.

“Good. Sounds like you’re really going to breathe new life in this old place.” The smile that you bestow on Calum is bright.

“I’m going to try. I figured there’s decent space to share too.”

“With friends?” you ask. “Is there anyone else you know who likes to paint?”

There it is. That’s what Calum was waiting for. His shoulder drops and he waves you over with a wag of two fingers. You shake your head with a laugh, backing into what’s almost the center of the gardening shed.

“I think an easel stand would look good here, don’t you?”

Calum’s response is a nod. It’s where he imagined one too. “I’ve got an old buddy from college that’s into the arts too.”

“Ceramics? Illustrations?”

“Music, actually. But I think he knows another guy who is into ceramics now that I think about it.” The gap is short to close and when Calum’s pressed into your chest, he wastes no time to wrap you up into his arms. “So what’s your second opinion?”

“I think you should match the original blue when you paint the outside again.”

“I’ll take that as you like it.”

“Yeah,” you nod, taking Calum’s cheeks into your palms. “I do like it. Thank you. For thinking of me. I don’t know what else to say besides thank you. I can’t imagine the effort it’s taken and will take.”

“I figured you’d like a little bit more elbow room than what your room has right now. It’s not all that hard if I’m honest. The guys are a good bunch; even when I’m slowing them down.”

“Is this what I have to thank too for the deliciously sweaty photo that may or may not be my home screen background now?”

Calum laughs, quick and from his chest before shrugging. “It may or may not be.”

“Thank you,” you whisper against his lips, “my love.”

______________________________

Irony is how the paper shakes in your grasp, how you’re knocking but not quite sure if it’s loud enough and you want nothing more than to slip the page under the crack at the bottom of the door, but your feet don’t carry you an inch out of place. You are here, now, bolted to the floor in front of Janet’s office. You can’t back out of this, can’t just slip it to her. Not after how integral she’s been in you securing the new job, in how long you’ve stayed, in getting you out of the monotonous routine you had for yourself.

“One second,” Janet calls back. Her keys click though as she shuffles about. The door creaks open a few seconds later and when she sees you, the single page in hand, her face crumbles. “No, stop. Already? I thought--oh,” she sighs. “I wanted you to get something else quickly. I know it’s gotta be stressful, but I don’t think I’d ever be prepared.”

“That makes two of us.” Your throat quivers as you try to force the words out and you know the words are all shaking too. “This-this is for you.” The words feel like concrete, heavy thuds as they fall to the floor.

Janet nods, taking the letter. You watch her read over the words, the date for the middle of September sticks out like a sore thumb you know. It was the last part you put in, knowing that once you put that down your fingers wouldn’t be able to type anymore so you came back to it. Janet’s eyes are glassy when she looks back to you. “I’d ask if there’s anything we can do to keep you, but it might be a useless question.”

“I’d never go as far as to say useless. The priorities are different.” They’re vastly different now. No longer is this a game of pay, of trying to find the top dollar and best benefits. It’s a matter that’s utterly out of even your own control. You want to see how far things will go with Calum. You want to go on more dates. You want to see how that old shed comes together. You want to have him in your kitchen, laughing as popcorn sounds in the microwave and the movie is queued up. You want a simplicity you’ve never fucking had--even if it means gardening with Joy and being a terrible caddy with David.

Janet nods, arms opening up. “Can I have a hug?”

It’s easy now, to slot yourself into her embrace. Though you two hadn’t previously been this affectionate, there was always a jab or two, you can’t deny such a simple ask. Her hold is firm, a squeeze around your shoulders that feels like it could crack your bones. You don’t object though. You hold back tighter. Even though Janet was a boss, you know that you’re not just leaving a job. You’re leaving a little piece of your family-- a family that you choose but you’d choose a thousand times over.

The sob racks up your chest. It’s a cry that blindsides you but you don’t hold back. Janet gently shushes in your ear. “We’ll still be here. I’ll call your new job like a mom and tell them not to overwork you and to not let you overwork yourself. We’re not going anywhere.”

Janet’s words are comforting, but you know that you’re not crying because it’s change. You’re crying because this places feels like home. It’d never dawned on you--not even as you dished up everyone’s individual breakfast orders or stitched buttons back onto uniforms or tagged in to help set up for events. But now it’s all crashing down. This was a job and it will always be just that. But the folks here have become home.

“Thank you,” you sob into Janet’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Her voice is tight and you think she might be crying too. “Tell him he better not ever break your heart or I’ll make sure the next breakfast shift makes burnt pancakes for him. Everyday. No one will fix them for him either. I promise.”

Your laughter is choked, torn between the amusement and trying to suck back down the snot and tears. Only Janet would ever consider such a thing. “I’ll let him know.” You try to break the embrace, peel back because you know without a doubt Janet’s business.

Yet, Janet squeezes you tighter. She clings to you and you don’t fight it. “You have to visit us. You can’t forget about us.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

It takes you ten minutes in the bathroom to get the stains off your cheeks and for them to lose the flush thanks to your tears. The cool water is a welcomed addition to the heat that’s flooded through your body with the emotions. You know soon you’ll need to get into the kitchen, not that your shift is anytime soon, you’ll actually need a nap between now and then, but there’s a CCTV in there to watch. With the voting happening, everyone’s wondering if the ratification of the emergency funds will go through. It’s been dire straits now to think about what you could do with the cash--your dental bill’s been paid off now, all important bills are up to date. Perhaps you could get ahead on the Christmas shopping or save it for a rainy day.

There’s commotion as always in the kitchen, the creak of the door seems to hardly register as the crew’s gathered around the kitchen island. Declan’s at the stove, manning dinner it appears. Yvonne and Cyprus are at his right and left, dawned in their chef coats too. “You feeding the whole Cabinet today or what?” you ask, leaning against the wall next to Declan.

He laughs. “Nah, not today. Gotta get the meat ready though now.” His focus remains on the hunk in front of him for a moment. You can spot oregano, basil, thyme, salt, pepper, and a few other spices that already decorate the cut. “Janet would’ve lost her whole head if we were, you know that already.” His brows furrow as he takes you in. “You okay? Your eyes are a little red?”

You nod, though your throat threatens to close up again on you at the thought. You’ll have to tell him, and everyone else soon too. Before the week is out of course. They’ll need to know. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you squeak out and then clear your throat to relax the muscle. You can’t cry again. Not here.

The TV crackles a little, voices still far away come floating in through the speakers. You watch for a moment as members of the Cabinet come filtering in. You spot Joy and David, and find yourself with your heart racing trying to spot Calum. He’d been long gone by the time you gained full consciousness though you barely remember giving him a good luck kiss before he left in the morning.

“You don’t sound okay,” Declan counters. His voice tears your focus from the screen back to him. “Did you and him get into a fight? I’ll kick his ass.”

“No, not that. Also, Declan, I think I could hold my own in a fight if it came down to it.”

“You can tell me what’s going on, you know? Whenever you’re ready of course. But if it is the prince, just let me know. I know some guys,” Declan teases with a wink.

“Declan I will deck you if we don’t got the rub together before the new fucking year,” Cyrpus snaps. She stalks over, a mixing bowl held to her body as she whisks away at the bowl. You’re not sure what it is, but think it may be a dessert.

“It is my turn as head cook. Things get done when I say they get done not the other way around,” Declan huffs, but turns back to his work of getting the rub on.

“But he still listens to me,” Cyprus teases in your direction. The door opens behind you, you catch the squeak in the hinge.

“Good afternoon,” Calum’s voice cuts through the chatter of the kitchen. The silence falls instantly around the room. A hand rests on your shoulder and you know Janet’s joined the room too. “Thank you for joining me today. I know we are here today to vote on a long debated and much needed issue. I understand for the members of Cabinet present here today that me taking the lead on this voting is a little bit different to previous times. And I greatly appreciate your willingness to hear me out today as the last speech; it is an honor. Over the last few weeks, we have borne witness to an economic leap--one that’s leading our constituents to face decisions no one should be forced to make. Should they get grocery? Are they able to forgo medications? How much can they pay on a bill before the service gets cut off fully? Questions that should not be plaguing the people we, in these roles, take responsibility in helping.

“I wanted to write this speech with two matches under it; a fire to make big progress and prove to myself that I could be a good leader and to prove that I could make real change. I had an image of myself built on the years I spent in university where I am aware of the crevices. I’m reading up on the latest news. I’m watching what laws go into effect and watch what the impacts are. I’m watching how the people I am meant to lead and care for are impacted by the small things. I suppose, I had an imagine of myself with quite a high nose. I thought just because I was younger and just because I was aware of political issues that we collectively in the Cabinet have historically shied away from or stayed conservative on, that I somehow was immune or better than. However, I spoke with a dear friend recently.”

You feel the entirety of the kitchen look back at you even as you keep your gaze lasered in on the freshen shaven face of Calum. You point back to the TV. Even if it is true that you are who he is referring to, you are not the focus. There’s small bouts of laughter as they turn back to Calum.

“It came to my attention in that conversation that the budget for the staff that works for us, here, in the castle, gets reviewed every three to four years. Which, from a business perspective, is appears to be a perfectly balanced system. It’s just enough time for things to change and, theoretically, just enough time to respond to them without it cutting into the margins and profits substantially. The reality is that a schedule like this calls for sacrifice. Someone has to stitch buttons back on when they’ve fallen off shirts. Someone inevitably comes into work hungry because the money they do get goes towards their children, or nieces or other family members. Someone picks up a second job. Someone picks up extra shifts--even if it means they work 15 or so hours straight.

“In reality, even a system that seems perfectly balanced is creating a sacrifice. A system built on someone having an over means someone else has the under. In the very same place, we discuss, we meet, we theorize, there is someone else doing the sacrificing. In the very same place where I lay my head down each night, there is someone sacrificing. I polled the current landscape of the staff in the castle. Out of 165 staff members polled, 49 members reported having a second job. 73 reported that they have come into work without a meal prior to their shift. 86 of my staff live at home or with roommates and this still does not always save them money. Over 100 members of my staff polled reported that they have had meals prepared by the chefs at work or saving leftovers from events in order to make ends meet. I am not immune to the propaganda. I am not immune to the smoke and the mirrors. You are not immune to them either.

“In a poll conducted just three weeks ago,” Calum starts. The screen cross fades to bring up the graphical visual. “78% of the constituents who participated stated that they did not feel the Cabinet responds to major crises in a timely fashion. This based on a sample size of 5,923 participants, a small but mighty sampling. Those that did state that the Cabinet responded quick enough, noted that most of the help received only marginally impacted them. Upon reviewing the response to the medical pricing surge, five years ago in which we worked to help regulate some the pricing on medications, I found that the national insurance coverage received over 11,000 complaints on deductible changes as it impacted the cost of prescriptions. According to formal insurance regulations, 11,000 complaints is not quite significant enough to constitute an internal investigation. Instead, it took several grassroots advocates, with 42,000 signatures in tow, to bring the issue to our door.

“In the 18 weeks we debated and worked on solutions, there were 53 deaths directly connected to improper access and usage of prescriptions. Doctors reported that the people who passed did so because they were not regularly taking medication needed for health. I don’t know how to reconcile the number 53 after rattling off numbers in the thousands, and tens of the thousands. One might dare say that 53 could not be hefty. Yet, there are 35 of us in attendance. That is one and a half Cabinets dead. 53 direct deaths. 53 grieving families. 53 mothers who have lost children. 53 fathers who ask themselves if there was anything they could’ve done to save their child.

“You,” Calum emphasizes with a single digit to the members in front of him, “are not immune. I urge this Cabinet, as you vote, to think about the staff in your own homes. Do you know the last time they skipped a meal? Do you know the last time your staff did not fret at the emails and paper statements in their inboxes and mailboxes? Do you know the sacrifices being made in your very homes while you sit here and talk theory? What have you turned a blind eye to in order to maintain your over? Who is under? I urge this Cabinet, as you vote, to vote not just for yourselves but the people who need this relief the most. I urge this Cabinet, as you vote, to consider the 53 families who received the news of their loved ones dead because we waited. I urge this Cabinet to consider that it has already been five weeks since we started making substantial strides to get money back into the hands of those who need it. I urge this Cabinet, as you vote, to consider who’s family might get this relief too late, just in time for a debate about what pine box they should get, if we drag on longer.”

The kitchen erupts into cheers, the hoots and claps echo well above your head. You can hear Declan’s laughter, his shouts of “Someone had to finally tell those old crusties off in a way they understand!” but you are focused on Calum. The fire that stays lit in his eyes, the distinct lack of a closing gratitude, the hard line of his mouth. That is a man with two matches under him. That is a man ready to make waves--damn the boat if it tips over.

The screen flickers to the floor and you can see the specs of the Cabinet members in their seats. You imagine that the room is tense, that they may be swaying in their seats after such a direct and open flogging. They have to make smart moves now because the man fit to take over the helm will no longer be playing a game of handshakes and behind closed deals. There’s a sense of pride. You feel it in the base of your gut. You know Calum worried himself to death about his speech, about what to say to get through. And surely he delivered. You hope he feels the same way at the end of it too.

The members of the Cabinet--one by one-- cast their votes into the box. You watch them all. Count every single one of the 35 slips as they fall into the box. The part that you hate, the part that you know will stir your gut with anxiety is the count. As the names are off with their vote, your heart lurches. You wait for the name and the call for ‘nay’. 5 for, 6 against. Then 7 for and 6 against. 8 for, 6 against. 10 for, 9 against. 11 for, 12 against. 15 for, 12 against. 16 for, 13 against. 17 for, 13 against. 17 for, 14 against. 19 for, 16 against.

A tight vote, a race to pull through by a hair. The thing that you realize is some victories, even brutally won, are still victories. This is still a win for Calum. Even a few of the stark and staunch most moderates, swing in favor of economic assistance. Your feet are shuffling, your weight shifts and you know where Calum is vaguely. You know that it’s just a few wings over. You could get there in about ten minutes or so. Yet you stay, you watch on the screen as Calum and David embrace. The smiles they both wear. The cup of David’s hand on Calum’s cheek in pride is a sight you’re glad you get to witness.

The feed cuts a few minutes later with the count as the last display. The kitchen is slow to resume back to it’s normal pace. Everyone’s still drawn into the now dark TV. You wonder when you held so much anticipation that the bill wouldn’t get passed through. Where had all that pessimism been hiding? Its a shock to see the votes, 19 to 16 still burned into your retinas. “Hell of a speech,” you hear from a cluster at the kitchen table.

“I’d sure as hell would vote for him if I could,” someone else laughs in return.

“Alright, if you keep hanging around this stove, I’m going to put you to work,” Declan teases to you. It’s clear he’a ready to get back to work, even after such a rousing speech. The reality though is that the world keeps turning. Even after wins and even after losses, the earth still rotates on its tilted axis waiting for no one.

You slide away with a laugh and move a bit closer to the kitchen island. THere’s still a crowd around it but you’re hoping to be absorbed into that crowd, make light conversation until you can slip back away for a nap. “No need to tell me twice.”

You can feel the hover though and turn to find Janet in the space between you and Declan--like a mother torn between her children. You nod her over to you, scooting to a corner of the kitchen island. “If Declan burns the food, just give me a call,” you tease.

Janet’s laughter is small, but she nods, hand clasping yours. “I know you won’t be far.”

Her comment will raise suspicions and you notice the looks from a few other staff. “Oh, did someone melt your heart outside of the prince now finally?” Yvonne teases. “I’m hoping so.”

You know she means well. Yet Yvonne looks at you the same way Declan did--like they know but don’t want to say what’s going on. “Oh, for a moment, it sounded like you might care.”

Yvonne shrugs. “And if I did?” she huffs, but pats your shoulder as she passes. Perhaps, it’s less about telling them and more about accepting the fact that things have changed drastically. You’re not just the person who comes in when they need it. You’re not just a coworker all the time. Though it feels much too little too late for that.

“Tell me; are we losing you before or after Christmas?” It’s Val who asks. She’s seated right next to the corner that you’re tucked into of the crowd around the kitchen island.

“Before,” you return. “Mid September.”

She nods. “Do you think if I took your shift there’s a second prince in the family to fall in love with me?”

You snort at the question. “Worth the shot, I guess. They do say lightning can strike twice.”

“A rarity, but I could try,” Val returns. “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll still be around. I won’t be going far.”

“Where’d you land?”

“Forest; downtown--couple blocks from the town center.”

She nods, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard about it. Good food, allegedly. I’m sure you could make it better.”

You shake your head and wrap an arm around her shoulder. She’s the youngest of the group, recently joined for the mid-day shift mostly but takes whatever shifts she can get. You don’t know what her home life is like, but in her, there is a mirror. You see yourself--the person working to escape life. “I’ll just be a line cook and potential bartender to start out. Highly doubt I’d be in the near anyone high enough to influence the menu.”

“You’ll get there soon enough.”

“Maybe. But it’s neither here nor there really. If you really want my spot though, I’ll give you my recipe for french toast.”

“But not your biscuits? I see how it is.” The two of you share a teasing grin but Val nods before speaking, “Deal. You work tonight?”

“When am I not here working?” you return.

“When you’re upstairs getting smooches,” Cyprus interjects.

“Who’s getting smooches?”

The voice nearly startles you but you catch the cologne; it soothes the ache in your chest. He’s not directly pressed against you, but now that you’re aware you can feel him behind you. You release Val and turn to face him. The grin’s lifting your cheeks before you can stop yourself. “Congratulations,” you offer first. “Hell of a speech.”

Calum reaches into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and produces a pack of matches. You’d jokingly bought a matchbook of them from an antique shop that you happened across in search of second hand canvases that you might be able to use and to find something to replace the desk lamp in your room; you’d come up on a bust for either one of those but did manage to find the matchbook. The matchbook had small individual packets in them. And now the white cardboard of the match pack is tucked between Calum’s fingers. “I had my good luck charm.”

You gingerly take the pack from his fingers, and flip it open. “If only now you had something to light with them.”

“I think it might defeat the purpose of them being a good luck charm.”

“Only one way to find out.” It’s not lost on you about the box also tucked into that inside pocket of Calum’s jacket. You press the match back into Calum’s chest, over the box of cigarettes. “But seriously, that was fucking incredible. Perhaps, not all politicians are bad.”

“Well,” Val teases from behind you. “I don’t know about all that.”

You snort and Calum’s laughter shakes him too as he takes hold of your hand still pressed into him. “I’d say I’m offended, but I’m far from it,” Calum states. “Can I steal you away for a second? It’s nothing bad and can wait if you’re busy.”

“I can spare a second.” You follow behind Calum as he leads the way out. The crowd lets out a few whistles and the urge to flip them all off wins out against the better odds. You raise the single middle digit into the air briefly and there’s a roar of laughter from the group.

Calum leads you down the hallway, like one would take to get to the front of the castle but ducks into a small offshoot of the hallway. Around another corner, a door reveals itself and it’s not long before the two of you are outside. It’s a side of the castle that none of the windows in the kitchen face, which is a plus. Here you press in a little closer to Calum, daring a grasps at his waist. The belt presses into your palm as your fingers catch around the loops.

“How do you feel about that speech?” you ask.

Calum’s exhale is heavy. “I-I don’t know how I really feel. Relieved. A little stoked. A lot of emotions right now I think that I can’t pick apart if I’m honest. I wanted to find you immediately, but it took a little while to do the rounds.”

You shake your head. “No it’s okay, Calum. You have to do those formalities. I get it. But I hope, once you’re able to dissect those emotions a bit more there’s pride in there too. You were phenomenal.”

“It wouldn’t be the same speech it was if you hadn’t asked those questions. If you had made an accusation, or kept quiet, I think I’d be looking at a very different outcome.”

“Well let’s be glad I didn’t do any of those things.”

“I am. I’m very glad.”

The gap between the two of you inched closer and closer together. And like magnets the final push happens together. You reach up towards Calun and he reaches for you. The kiss is soft, a gentle press of lips slotting together. As much as you want to give in, press your body into Calum's, you settle for the quick squeeze at his hip. A teasing hiss falls from his throat. “Tell me you’re staying through the day?”

You nod at Calum’s question. “I am.”

“Good, I want to properly show you my gratitude.”

The exhale of laughter is quick. “I haven’t forgotten about the diner either. You little masochist.”

“Tricks up your sleeves? Or are you just a sadist with nothing to back it up?”

A hum falls from your throat. “That’s a lot of lip coming from the guy that’s begging.”

“Well, not yet I’m not.” Something buzzes from Calum’s pocket--his phone you assume. He ignores it, coming in again for another kiss. It’s deeper than the first, but still chaste enough. “Tell me, how long did you know?”

“Know about what?”

“The smoking,” Calum answers.

“I had suspicions when I took us on the picnic. Was confirmed when I got in your car the other day by the smell”

“I’d say I’m trying to quit.” Calum offers it with a grimace. You don’t mind the habit much. You shrug at the statement. He’s probably on and off on the habit as the smell is not overpowering in the slightest. And there’s no reason to force him into something he wasn’t ready to give up yet anyway.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking you to be a liar.” There’s another buzz. “Someone’s trying real hard to get in contact with you,” you tease.

Calum huffs a little. “Yeah, apparently.”

His half step back to gather the phone from it’s pocket gives you enough time to look him over. The navy blue suit, as always, is tailored to perfection. It’s clear he means business, and you hate the way he’s lately been wearing the dress shirts with the top couple of buttons undone. You don’t actually hate it, thought more often than though the thought of tracing the valley of his chest with your tongue has come to mind. The thought doesn’t linger long, as you trail your gaze up to his face again.

“I’m proud of you,” you whisper to him.

Calum’s snap is fast--so fast you think he might drop his phone. But he looks up at you, eyes wide. “What?” he questions.

“I said I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, baby.” You swear for a second you see his chin wobble, but Calum grins in return, slipping his phone back into the pocket. “I’ve gotta head back, but I should be done before 5:30. Do you think you’ll still be up?”

“If I’m not up, you have permission to wake me.” It’s about 3 right now, you figure. Maybe a little before, but definitely not quite four. You don’t think you need that long of a nap, but you do know you’ll need sleep.

“No, no. If you’re still asleep, I’ll get you up after dinner then. No need to interrupt your sleep. Did it go well with Janet?”

“We both cried. But, she understands.” That’s about well as it could go, if you’re honest. “I didn’t realize I’d miss all of them so much.”

“You all are like a highly dysfunctional, yet functional family. I wish I could say you don’t have to give it up. But you don’t have to stop being friends with them. That’s not something I want for you, given how much I’m part of the reason so much of your life is being uprooted.”

Your worry though is that things will shift. When you go and if things with Calum get more serious, you worry that the relationship will have to change then. It’s a worry that you can’t afford to hold onto right now. You don’t know where things are going. You know you want to carry this torch with Calum for as long as it’ll burn. You want every second you can with him. But the future is evasive--the murky waters that don’t clear until your waist deep in them. You just need to wait until you’re waist deep in it.

“They’re nice.” You want to try and find a way to continue whatever relationship you’ve built with them.

Calum cups the back of your head, lips pressing into the skin of your forehead. “They’re your friends, baby. You’re allowed to call them that. I’ll see you tonight, okay? I’ll bring you a plate if you want.”

“Check the meat first. Declan’s cooking dinner.”

Calum’s laughter is soft against your skin. “I’ve yet to get sick from anyone’s cooking. But I’ll check it before taking the first full bite. If it’s all clear I’ll bring you a plate. Let me walk you back, okay?”

“Okay.”

The hallways are quiet, but you know the kitchen is always alive. Calum cracks open the door to the kitchen and lets you in first. Yvonne, Cyprus, and Declan are still bouncing around the kitchen. A few others are already gone, most likely only hanging around for the vote after their morning shifts. Calum doesn’t cross fully into the kitchen, leans into the door he’s got cracked open. His smile is soft.

“Play nice. I don’t want any calls from Ms. Janet,” Calum teases.

You shove at his shoulder, the heat flooding your cheeks. “I’ll have you know it’s only a problem if you ever get caught.”

“Well, then, I guess don’t get caught then.” He winks and starts to back away from the door.

Once the door closes, you exhale. You didn’t want him to go yet, but you know he has too. “Oh you’re not even going to get a kiss goodbye?” Val shouts from behind.

“Oh,” you groan. “You lot are going to be insufferable from now until eternity I take it.”

“You wouldn’t have us any other way,” Cyprus laughs. And, you know that you wouldn’t. Not in the slightest.

______________________________

Calum takes the door handle tight in his palm, easing his weight into it. The light under the door is still off and he’s not sure if it’s from your departure from his room this afternoon or if you’ve returned and gotten the nap in like you said you might. So he takes the steps into the room carefully. There’s a small shuffle from the sheets and Calum’s quick as he can to get the door closed. The light from the hallway fades as he sweeps the door closed.

I’m proud of you. The soft utterance has echoed in his mind the entire afternoon. It’s played like a loop--the soft look and ooze of pride on your face. It’s not that he thought he’d done terrible. He felt good about the speech. A couple people approached him and tld him how rousing it was. The close vote didn’t exactly help his vote of confidence either. Yet, Calum still felt an odd mixture of emotions--some of them a lingering anxiety that he now considers something he’ll be dealing with for quite some time. He’ll always be concerned about how what he says is received. He’ll always be worried that he’s not doing enough.

But you’d stilled most of that concern with such a simple phrase, I’m proud of you. He had done good. He’d won the vote like he wanted. It is still a victory nonetheless.

“No,” you groan as Calum settles onto the bed next to you. “No, you’re too handsome right now for me to resist you.” Your voice is thick with sleep.

“Just one kiss,” Calum barters.

You blindly reach for his face. “One.”

Calum captures your lips in a kiss, once, and nearly goes in for a second you, but you fall back into the pillows. He kisses your cheek instead and pushes up from the mattress. I’m proud of you, feels almost as good as the first time the two of you shared an ‘I love you’. So Calum lets the thought carry him to his bathroom where he strips from the day and showers. He doesn’t need your approval for everything, he knows. But it’s nice to hear it, to have that verbal affirmation to what he knows the two of you share.

Changed into an old T-shirt and flannel pants, Calum slips onto the bed next to you. He stays above the covers, but does press another kiss to your temple. This time you don’t rouse awake. He knows in another hour or so your alarm will ring if it’s set, so he settles against the pillows. Like clockwork his right hand falls to the top of your head, light scratches against your scalp as he picks up his phone in his left hand.

Calum checks through is texts first--a few from friends who also watched the voting today and congratulating him. One reminding him of his dental appointment next week and then one from Michael--outside of the group text. Don’t ask how I found this. Attached to the message is a link. Calum doesn’t like the look of things just from the preview and when he opens it, pictures from the date the other day load up first--one of Calum walking you of the restaurant. Your face is mostly hidden.

So Calum scrolls on, down until a hot pink headline catches his eye: Even as summer cools off, things with this pair are heating up.

His heart thunders in his chest as scrolls down. A picture of you kissing Calum’s hand is the first one after the headline. It’d be passable if not for the look on Calum’s face. He knows immediately without a doubt people will scrutinize the hell out of it. Though he should be embarrassed about his own pleasure being captured on film--not with his own consent involved of course--the thing he’s worried about is that this causes issues for you.

You just landed that job and hadn’t even started. The thing Calum doesn’t want are these photos to ruin your shot. They aren’t the most scandalous photos ever--far from it. But they are particularly revealing the more Calum scrolls, pictures of the teases and taunts. Calum tries to remind himself it is tame. There’s no nudity, no sex tape, or sexual photos that have gotten out. It just feels like a warning that nowhere in public is truly safe for you.

The first thing Calum wants to do is call Forest, see if he can get in contact with Turner and ensure that your position stays secure. And the second thing he thinks about is his promise. How you asked him to only be a knight in shining armor when you asked. Right now, Calum knows that he’ll need to tell you when you wake up. He only needs to talk to you and then everything else will be done together as a team--whatever you want. Calum just hopes nothing bad comes as a result of this. There’s no reason for this to get in the way of your new job. Your face isn’t that clear in some of these photos. It wouldn’t be hard to piece together who you might be, but it is a worry that even with your job as a line cook that things might get crazy fast.

The chime echoes around Calum and he spin from his desk chair to the bed. You push up from the covers to turn off the alarm. When your arms hit the mattress, you sit up. “Why are you way over there?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Calum returns. He crosses the short distance to your open arms.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” you whisper into his shoulder.

“Oh, it can wait a minute. You just woke up.”

“Pictures of our date are surfacing online,” Calum mutters into your neck. “I’m worried it’s going to hurt your chances with Forest.”

“Show me, please?”

It’s hard to piece together your thoughts, not with the furrow of sleep still on your brows as you scroll through tabloid on Calum’s laptop. But you do release a snort after a moment and tip the device so Calum can see the screen. “I’m kissing and nibbling on your hand, baby. I thought it was the picture of you sucking my fingers or like ass out photos.”

“Okay, first, we’ve not been ass out in public so unless they’re deep faked that wouldn’t get out there. Second, there is a photo of me sucking the ice creams off your fingers if you scroll down far enough. Third, there’s going to be more people interested in trying to get the next most scandalous shot of us. The sharks can smell the blood in the water now.”

Calum watches over the top of the screen to the photo in question. It's clear as day with him licking the ice cream off your lingers, the spoon does just enough to block anything that could be construed as too graphic, but it's as close as Calum can get being caught red-handed without having the paint on his hand.

“Hmm, yeah, I can see your concern especially about people knowing that you're really into ice cream now," you snort.

Calum knows it's your attempt to diffuse the situation. The insecurity isn't lost on him, but you've always covered up that fear with a bit of a deprecated humor. It's a smoke and mirror tactic. Though perhaps now some levity isn't harmful. It is, on the face of it, not an appealing photo of Calum--the angle is terrible and if it there weren't high stakes he could find it himself to laugh. These photos are truly child's play to what has come out in the past about people of interest and celebrities, but it's you--you are cost in the crosshairs this time.

"But, I mean, in all seriousness," you continue on, "the first photos plus these don’t make it exactly hard to maybe piece together what I look like. However, if Forest wants to take back a job offer because of pictures of me with my boyfriend then maybe it’s not a good company. I mean, we’re in the business of service. As long as I can cook, then I don’t think my chances are hurt that much.”

You know more about what something like this can mean for your chances. Yet Calum’s not ready to let go of the voice in the back of his head. What if it does hurt your chances? What if after all this you don’t have any income anymore? Calum’s more than happy to help cover whatever expenses you have until you find a job or arrangement that suits your needs best. But you’re going to want to work and find something fast.

“But,” you start and then stop to clear your throat. “But thing I can do right now is I could try and call Turner and get ahead of this on their end. We can’t stop the folks who do this, but we can take precautions. Go to places a little further out of town. I’ll be a bit more careful about taking bites out of you if you promise to instead suck toes in private. We can figure something out.”

Calum gathers a throw pillow from the floor and whacks you in the shoulder with it. "I highly doubt this situation demands a joke about sucking on toes. And if there's something you want to tell me, please by all means do so. But yes, we could take more precautions."

Your laughter chokes you, a broken but delightful sound. Calum hands over his glass of water. He’d gotten it in the hour-long fret session he’d been down. Michael offered his help too, keeping an eye out for any more sites that post the photos and so his best to collect them for Calum. Calum could then go to Miranda with a clear list of who would be slapped with whatever legal red tape she could give them of course.

“Would you be okay if I went to Miranda and see what she can do? She’s got connections to places we dare not think about.”

You nod, swallowing down your sip. “Yeah, that’s okay. Just keep me posted on what she says, if that’s okay.”

“More than okay, baby.”

“I’ll call Turner tomorrow after I get home and I’ll let you know what happens there too.”

There’s a plan, as you and Calum settle down into the kitchen and Calum warms up the plate of the food Declan made, he reminds himself there is a plan. There is a plan and the two of you would work it together.

"So," Calum starts around the plate of cookies he put together himself to snack on while you eat. "We have a plan."

You nod around a bite of potatoes.

"We have a plan," he mutters to himself. It's real. Tangible. A plan. You'll call Turner. He'll go to Miranda. Whatever happens after that just has to come after that. For the most part, you should be okay. It might not be hard to piece together who you are, but it's not easy. There's still time.

There's still time.

"We'll be okay, love. We'll be okay," you offer, taking his hand.

Calum squeezes at the pres of your digits into his palm. "We will."

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood series #calum hood imagine #calum hood blurb #calum hood x reader #calum hood x gender neutral reader #prince! calum au #prince!calum #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer series #h writes

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ughkat · 8 months

Note

hi! could you write calum x reader where calum has a crush on her and ashton exposes his crush on her during a live or something?

pls and thank u

i might do a part two of this idk 😳

crush | c.t.h

calum x fem!reader

part two here

got excited writing this sorry ab the lengthiness!

alcohol, swearing

not proofread

"I'm heading over right now."

"We'll be here.".

I finished my phone call to Ashton, who had just minutes ago invited me for a routine hangout with him and the other three boys.

My friendship with Ashton had sprouted prior to his band forming. We were best friends, some would describe as inseparable. Once joining the band, they immediately brought me in as well. Though never having the same connections as I did with Ashton with them, Calum, Luke and Michael never failed to make me feel at home.

Since then, we've grown up and blossomed into larger things in life, yet we still keep our bond close. Routine effortless hangouts and conversations on almost a daily has kept out growing friendships alive.

Recently, I had began to notice a shift in energy with Calum. I tried to think nothing of it, but the conversations began to get shorter, and his words for me grew small. He almost made me feel as if I did something wrong.

I gathered my belongings, checking my outfit before heading outside to my car, shivering at the cold weather. I dressed lazily in a large grey hoodie, along with black leggings and converse. I quickly turned on the heater after starting my car, and pulled put of the driveway.

I drove quietly as my mind wandered about confronting Calum for his change of mood towards me. I knew I was safe to bring up an issue to my friends, but I was concerned this was only a me problem.

My wandering mind passed the time quickly, arriving me to Ashton's apartment. I pulled slowly onto the curb in front of his apartment, sending off a quick "I'm here" text before exiting my car.

"Heyyy!" Ashton cheered goofily, raising his arms as he appeared from the front door. I giggled as I made my way up his driveway towards him. He reached an arm out for a quick hug as he spoke.

"How ya' doing?" He smiled, ushering me inside. I sighed dramatically.

"Could be better." I raised my eyebrows with defeat as I made my way inside. I set my bag and keys down on his kitchen counter which was decorated with various alcoholic beverages and snacks. I turned to the living room, being greeted by Calum, Luke and Michael at the couch. I watched as Calum's eyes quickly met mine, then shot back down to his hands.

"Well..." Ashton began, moving behind me swiftly, "Have a shot." He grinned, I turned to look at Ashton who had presented me with a small glass with a shot of mystery alcohol in it. The three boys from the living room shouted dramatic miscellaneous cheers and encouragements from behind me. I let out a laugh and reached for the drink. I looked at Ashton and shook my head laughing. With a shrug, I tossed my head back, taking my shot quickly. I scrunched my face briefly before frantically searching for a chaser.

"Give me a drink. I need a drink." I mumbled, shaking my head. Luke whistled from the couch with a laugh, holding out a Coke can. I hurried to the open drink and took a large swig.

"You didn't take that shot, that shot took you." Michael joked as I found my seat on the couch. I scoffed with furrowed eyebrows.

"Fuck off." I giggled. I glanced to Calum who had been awfully quiet. He was heavily focused on picking at a loose string on his t-shirt, faking an amused look on his face. I immediately noted his off mood. The boys continued whatever conversation they had before I arrived, laughing and cracking joke's beside me. I watched Calum carefully as he loosely followed their words, more in his own head than present with us. I decided to finally speak up.

"Cal." I chirped, snapping him out of his trance. His head perked up quickly as the room fell silent.

"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow, his eyes darted to everyone in the room nervously, then back to mine. I anxiously slouched back down at the unexpected and unnerving silence before speaking.

"Are you mad at me or something?" I questioned, keeping a cool tone. I watched from my peripheral as the boys eyes flashed to Calum. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head slowly.

"No..?" He muttered quietly. I bit the inside of me cheek and looked to the other boys, hoping one of them would agree with my observation of Calum's negative mood. Instead, they watched Calum like a bomb.

"You've been so quiet and weird with me lately. I know they see it too." I laughed anxiously, motioning to the boys. I widened my eyes at them, begging for some help. Calum looked to the boys, licking his lips anxiously.

"I-.." He began nervously, "I've just been feeling kinda off recently. I'm sorry." He stuttered nonchalantly, his eyes failing to connect with mine. "Kinda off?" I thought to myself, "Bad excuse.".

"I think he just means in the studio and such. We've all been pretty tired recently." Ashton jumped in quickly, glancing at Calum after speaking.

"Right." I replied, not buying whatever game they were trying to play.

We continued the night many hours into the early morning, as we normally would, we watched a few movies and ordered a bunch of junk food. Calum kept up his unusual behavior, trying his best to fake it, but I never let go of the thought that I would find out what was going on with him.

"You sure you don't wanna spend the night? It's late, and you've been drinking." Ashton offered as we walked to his front door. I gave him a hug and stepped outside.

"No, it's okay." I looked down to my phone, noting the time of 1:45 am. "I have work tomorrow and I'm okay to drive. My last drink was hours ago and all those snacks and fast food have taken over my veins." I groaned dramatically. Ashton giggled before nodding gently.

"I'll see you later." He patted my back and sent me down his driveway, watching me as I entered my car.

On my drive home, I was left unsatisfied with my confrontation with Calum. I thought our closeness would have led him to be more open, but he was so blatantly lying. Ashton obviously covering the lie for him only grew my suspicions more. My mind raced of the possibilities of what could be bothering the boy.

I lazily kicked off my shoes as I entered my apartment, tossing my keys of a small side table beside the door. Filled with junk from Ashton's house, I skipped my kitchen and headed straight for my bedroom.

I slipped out of my black leggings and hoodie, changing into a large shirt and underwear. As I tossed my laundry into the basket, my phone let off a ding on my bed. I flopped onto my bed, reaching for my phone and reading the notification. It read that the boys had started a live stream on twitch. I let out a giggle, amused at the boy's inability to rest. Clicking on the notification, I settled into my bed.

"We just saw each other 20 minutes ago!" Ashton cheered sarcastically from the livestream. I smiled at the faces on the screen.

"Hey, Y/n is here." Ashton chuckled, looking closer at the screen. I watched as the boys talked to the viewers of the stream and to each other, making jokes and messing with filters.

"Calum's sad cause Y/n yelled at him." Michael joked. Calum sent Michael a death glare, earning a chuckle from me.

"She didn't yell at me." Calum scoffed with a forced smile. I rolled my eyes sarcastically at his stubbornness, continuing to tune into the stream.

"He's sad cause he's in love with her." Ashton mumbled looking down to his phone, widening his eyes quickly and looking up at his screen after speaking, realizing what he had said.

"Dude." Calum spoke quietly. I narrowed my eyebrows at his words, him looking just as surprised as me. Ashton turned off his camera, followed by Calum, as if he had said something controversial. I put the speaker to my ear as the live suddenly fell quiet. Incoherent whispers came through before Ashton appeared again.

"Alright we'll see you guys later." Ashton forced a smile and a wave to the livestream before ending it abruptly. I stared at my empty screen in confusion, trying to make sense of Ashton's words. Did I hear him wrong? Was my phone glitching? I decided to play it cool and text Ashton calmly.

"Hey, why'd you end your live?"

I watched the three dots appear and disappear repeatedly before his message appeared.

"You should text Cal.".

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bratzforchris · 10 months

Note

Hiii, hope you're doing good 💗 can you do a social media AU where it's Luke and Y/N's accounts when they announce that she's pregnant? Thanks :))

Announcement

❊A social media AU in which you and Luke announce your big news to the world<3

❊Warnings: sexual talk/innuendos implied

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let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol · 7 months

Text

Adore You (Part 6)

AshtonXFemale Reader

Part 5

Warnings: Food, secret confessions, mentions of adoption, mentions of running away, fluff, slight slow burn

“Tell me something no one else knows about you,” Ashton said, his fingers idly tracing the palm of your hand. You both laid in a makeshift fort in his living room, boxes of Chinese takeout scattered around you and some tiny portable projector playing a film you both have long forgotten about.

“Something no one knows?” you hummed, earning a nod from him. It was nearing the end of Spring break and the both of you have been talking non-stop since your first official date. It was you who asked Ashton out for the second time, feeling a sudden urge of courage. This time it was less strenuous and more comforting than anything. Your face scrunched up at his question as you thought about the answer. You almost felt brought back to the first day of classes where you had to play ice breakers in order to get to know classmates you were most likely never to see again.

“It’s not a hard question,” Ashton laughed, breaking the long silence of your pause.

“For me it is!” you exclaimed, retracting your hand from his and sitting up. Ashton sat up straight too and bit onto his bottom lip. “Besides, talking about myself is boring.”

“You’re not boring, Y/N.” Ashton responded. “I can go first if you want,” his head dipped low to look you in the eye and Ashton gave you a smile. You couldn’t help but to smile back and nod. He had a way of comforting you and you laid back down into the pillows looking up at the patterns of the blanket that covered you two. He shuffled onto his side and peered down at you as he thought for a moment.

“Now look who’s-”

“I got it!” he interjected, grinning at you in amusement. Your eyebrows rose at his reaction and you held in a giggle. “When I was seven I used to be VERY obsessed with tadpoles and woul- for a good while actually- I would carry some with me everyday to school without anyone knowing.”

“How’d you manage that?” you asked, shifting positions to lay on your side to look at him directly.

“I’d carry it in my thermos and people would just assume it was juice,” he said matter-of-factly. You laughed hard then, shaking your head at his admission. “Alright. . .your turn.” You thought for a moment, eyebrows scrunching. Ashton reached out with his thumb to rub away the wrinkled creases from your expression. “So serious,” he muttered, making you smile in return and let out a sigh.

“I once ran away when I was fifteen. Hitchhiked and got into some pickup truck with this old man. Made it to the city line and turned back. I had been gone for maybe three hours, no one was none the wiser.” A heavy silence penetrated the air, and you found yourself opening eyes you hadn’t realized you closed. Ashton was staring intently at you, worry written across his face. “I know, very dangerous for a young woman like me to hitchhike, especially alone,” you said.

“Where were you heading?” he asked instead. You had expected him to reprimand you for being so careless at a young age. That was the last you got and could see curiosity fill Ashton’s worried expression.

“To find my birth parents. I had just found out I was adopted and was spiraling over it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents dearly. It’s just I always felt like a black sheep, like something was wrong with me and then they tell me this huge secret a week after I turn fifteen.” You went quiet for a moment, eyes dazed as if you were placed back in that moment. “I thought if I could find my birth parents it’ll help me answer questions on why I was so different.”

You had never told anyone about it. You were content now at the fact that you were adopted, something you didn’t hide anymore. But that story of you attempting to run away, it had always been a well kept secret between you and your stuffed animals. “Aren’t you going to ask why I turned back?” you said. The two of you had somehow found yourselves laying on your backs. Ashton’s fingers playing with your own. He shook his head in response.

“Not unless you want to say,” he muttered, allowing the silence to envelop you once again. You weren’t expecting to share that part of yourself, but that was truly the only thing people didn’t know about you. Ashton just seemed so easy to talk to and you trusted him with the information. A warmth filled your stomach at his words. He wasn’t going to push and would allow you to tell him when you wanted. You turned your head to the side to look at him, eyes wide in the dim light. Ashton turned his head to face you too, your faces inches apart. “Thank you for sharing,” he whispered, almost trying not to disturb the peace.

“Thank you for listening,” you whispered back. Your eyes flickered down to his lips then back up to meet his gaze. His lips parted, tongue ducking out to moisten the plump skin. Time seemed to slow and you could see him glance at your own mouth. Just as Ashton was leaning towards you, a knock sounded at the door. The both of you jumped in surprise at the disturbance.

“Shit-the dessert,” Ashton said, “I forgot we ordered that.” He pulled away from you and got up from the fort to grab the delivery. You sat back in your spot, feeling slightly dazed. The two of you were so close to kissing. Something you hadn’t done yet. You cleared your throat and sat up as Ashton came back inside the fort with two bowls.

“What did you do before uni?” you asked him, graciously taking the bowl with your requested dessert. You remembered him saying he had chosen to pursue a career in photography after a stint of not being in school.

“I traveled with my best friends. We were basically living a nomad type life. It was fun for a while, but I could tell we all missed home.” Ashton chuckled at a thought that came to him, “I do miss exploring the world.” He dug into his own bowl after that, your attention now back on the film that seemed to be nearing an end. After a while Ashton muttered something about it being late. You were supposed to go back to your dorm about an hour ago, but being with Ashton was too much fun. “I’ll take the couch,” he said, not really asking if you wanted to go home or stay. It was a decided fact to Ashton that you would spend the night.

“We can sleep in the fort together,” you found yourself blurting. You were feeling a bit bold. The words surprising yourself. Ashton’s eyebrows raised, a look of perplexity coming across his face. “It’s cozy and you shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in your own home,” you added, trying to save some type of face. Ashton let a laugh slip past his lips and he gave you a dimpled smile.

“I should warn you, I am a cuddler.”

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plushyluke · 2 years

Note

Oh my god!! For your title thing where you write a summary for titles we give you: what if I were to give you Victoria Secret perfume names?

Endless Love 🦢💙

Velvet Petals 🌷🩰

Love Spell 💜✨

You choose which one sounds the most interesting to you 💞🌸😇

this is such a cute & sweet me-coded idea, hunny! bc…i am addicted to perfume and these three victoria’s secret perfumes raised me 🍯🐝🤍

i’ll do all three. here are my ideas as lashton aus.

endless love:

(it has notes of apple blossom, ylang ylang, and pomegranate so…)

ashton and luke were married in a simpler time. ashton was a man at sea, and he met luke at the docks where he was slicing and apple with an intricately decorated pocket knife. after a long eight weeks of traveling, it was striking to see a strange and beautiful face just waiting for the ships to come in. all it took was luke offering ashton a slice of the juicy red, straight from the knife, and when they locked eyes they were madly in love. now they spend their days riding their love with the waves, but just as the sea is not always calm, neither is their passions.

velvet petals:

(lush blooms, almond glaze, and sandalwood)

opium is the feeling of luke’s bedroom. every night that ashton sneaks in through the window, he is greeted by shades of white, pink, lavender, cream—all in one luke-flavored sorbet soft serve serendipity. he knows luke is devoted to him, that this hot french summer will one day be over. but the southern countryside has been nothing but welcoming to him. he was stuffed on grandma hemmings’ pastries—and from all the frosting he licked off baby hemmings. was every sweet summer flower destined to lose their petals? or could he stay in wonderland forever?

love spell:

(peach, blood orange, freesia)

knee-deep in the stress of college finals, luke found himself under the bright lights of a carnival. his best friend, michael, was dating one of the guys from the kissing booth, so he knew all of the best rides and attractions. his favorite happened to be the one luke was most skeptical of: the magic lovewitch. she was gorgeous and enticing, so luke was easily persuaded when she convinced him to buy some of her “love potion.” luke had only asked for advice on how to love himself, but once dared by michael to drink from the vile, he hit a wall of problems. that wall was a pair of out-of-place dimples and endless muscles.

sorry if these are cheesy.

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wlntrsldler · 3 months

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poisoned mercury is so good! it’s truly one of my fav aus i’ve read in a minute and the way you write the characters is absolutely phenomenal ! i saw that you wanted some song recs for future chapters/inspo so here i am

“waste the night”/“vapor” by 5sos

>wtn is STUPID cute for luke and yn. “smoke in your lungs” is so them kissing on her their bench

> vapor i can see chris and luke writing for clar and yn respectively. like luke and chris just giggling and writing a song for their girlfriends is so cute

“perfume”/“cigarettes and wine” by del water gap

>perfume i can see luke writing as his first song out of writers block, after yn beats him in another game of pool in her cabin and he’s so enamored with her and she’s cocky about beating him and its cute and still ‘will they won’t they’

>cigs&wine i see as them having a full blown camp rock moment and they sing a duet last day of camp (although yn isn’t musically inclined, i picture her still being able to carry a tune)

”girlfriends” by the academic

> ITS SO THEM I CANT EXPLAIN IT

“lover” by the hunna

> luke writes it for their 1yr and it’s cute

hope these help with some inspiration and what not! keep up the great work!! can’t wait to see where it goes :)

OH ANON MY HEART IS SO ?!!?!!!!

waste the night/ vapor by 5sos

i love how we all collectively agree that poisoned mercury is 5sos in an alternate universe (especially 5sos in their self titled and sgfg era lol)

im definitely thinking of doing small blurbs of luke x five star interactions in between the longer chapters now because waste the night is SO perfect for them 😭

thinking of luke realizing that he needs to let five star call the shots in their “relationship” because he has a track record of failing at relationships and the last thing he wants to do is mess things up with five star before it even begins.

and five star is waiting begging for him to make a move because she realizes no matter how hard she tries, she was falling for luke castellan. but bc of her past, she’s afraid of making the first move.

the lyrics fit both of them in very very different ways, but they’re both just love-struck and pining and ugh!

for vapor, i can see luke and chris (both equally whipped for their girls) thinking about what will happen to their respective relationships when they leave chb. long distance isn’t easy. being the gf of a guy in a band came with it’s own problems. they both know that five star and clarisse trust them that they won’t cheat or do anything to jeopardize their relationships but they still cant help but worry about it :(((( (my angst sleep paralysis demon is clawing at my brain)

perfume/ cigarettes and wine by del water gap

perfume is set after r u mine? in my head!!!! i won’t say too much about this one because this will probably be one of the extras i write in the future hehe

cigarettes and wine is post chb!!!!!!! when poisoned mercury is back on tour and luke is missing five star extra. they definitely wrote it together because even tho five star isn’t musically inclined, i like to think that she can write (or at least says things to luke in a poetic way that inspires a song)

girlfriends by the academic