#Also he can be very remorseful (after) he’s done something wrong

[danceofthephilos]

"Repent and Make Efforts"

Kaoru's calligraphy display in episode 5 is very obviously targeted, but between natural difficulties in translating idioms, changes made in the English dub, and misunderstandings of the general meaning of "repentance", exactly what he's communicating often gets lost in translation - which is a shame, because it's not only a very telling moment about Kaoru's own feelings about Adam, but one that ends up being very important to the themes of the entire show and many of the central character arcs.

To give some quick establishing information, what Kaoru is writing in this scene is a called a yojijukugo (四字熟語), or four-character idiom - set idiomatic phrases that are very similar to (and originate from) Chinese chengyu (成语), which you may be familiar with if you've read any linguistic analysis of danmei. Four-character idioms are very common subjects for calligraphers like Kaoru, and the way they can be used in speech make them very difficult to translate concisely. The particular idiom Kaoru has written here, read from right to left, is 悔悟奮發, a real four-character idiom (though usually written 悔悟憤発 in modern Japanese - Kaoru is using the Chinese hanzi.)

Read kaigo funpatsu, both the Crunchyroll subs and the dub translate this as "repent and make efforts", which is... fine enough given the complexity of translating yojijukugo. It's quite a literal translation, looking at the phrase broken down into its components - 悔悟 can indeed be translated to "repentance", and 奮發 means "to exert oneself." As an idiom, it means "to regret one's mistakes, and work hard to recover." It generally refers to remorse, but can also mean coming back from a loss. In this exchange from a Japanese website explaining the use of the idiom, it's used to describe recovering after a loss in a competition:

Tomoko: You must be in high spirits, to be practicing on your day off. Kenta: Everyone was shocked when I was eliminated in the first round of that tournament the other day. Next time I'll get my revenge. Tomoko: Oh, so you're trying to make a comeback*, good luck!

(*in a perfect example of how difficult yojijukugo can be to translate when used in regular speech, a translation as literal as "repent and make efforts" would sound very silly in English here.)

And this idiomatic meaning is how Kaoru explains it - and where I believe some misunderstandings are originating from, both due to the overall interpretation of the word "repent", as well as changes in nuance in the explanation given in the dub. To begin with, let's look at Kaoru's dialog in Japanese. (Due to him immediately explaining the meaning, I chose to leave kaigo funpatsu untranslated, unlike the official subs.)

And the same dialog in the dub:

It should be apparent just from this that Kaoru in the original and Kaoru in the dub are saying completely different things. Originally, Kaoru makes no mention of making peace with people that have been hurt, because that isn't what kaigo funpatsu is referring to. Kaigo is personal, internal regret - kaigo funpatsu is about self-reflection, recognizing one's mistakes and striving to do better, considering your past in order to take your next steps in the future. That could involve making amends with wronged parties, but it's not part of it inherently - Kaoru's original dialog doesn't even allude to people being hurt at all, because it's not relevant to the idiom.

It's here that I believe the word "repent" is causing some trip-ups: it's being taken in the Christian sense of atonement or penance, an action done to achieve forgiveness from others or redeem oneself for sinning, but Kaoru is simply talking about realizing you've done something wrong and feeling remorse for it. (Or, specifically, about Adam realizing he's done something wrong and feeling remorse for it.)

And while his last line in the dub is at least a bit more in the spirit of kaigo funpatsu, it's still missing what is at the heart of Kaoru's feelings about this idiom, and about the man it's clearly targeted at - the idea of coming back from one's mistakes, something that does not come up in the dub at all. The first word Kaoru uses, bankai (挽回), does mean "to recover", but also "to regain what was lost" or "to return to the original state." Torimodosu (取り戻す), as well, specifically means to regain something that was lost - in fact, it's the very same word Tadashi uses when speaking of Adam "regaining his love."

Kaoru is not asking Adam to personally make things up to him, or to anyone - Kaoru, at heart, believes in Adam, and believes that he can, and should, still come back from everything. Even in the finale - after the Full Swing Kiss, after his naive hopes of simply returning to how things were in high school are shattered - his first concern is still for Langa to make Adam understand that.

Like with Kenta in the example exchange above, kaigo funpatsu isn't about Adam atoning for his sins - it's a call for him to recognize he screwed up and move forward without making the same mistakes.

And he does, or at least he's beginning to take those steps. He recognizes the mistake that matters most to the themes of the story, and that led to everything that happened in his life since - that he lost sight of the innocent love for skating he had as a child.

He finally admits what Tadashi meant to him;

he directly defies his abusive family's wishes by working against Takano rather than throwing Tadashi under the bus;

and he finally shows up as Adam in daylight, on someone else's "turf", to celebrate his own defeat - reaching out to his former friends and gracefully accepting loss, things he refused to do even an episode prior.

He may not be begging for forgiveness, and with this coming at the very end of the series there's a long road still ahead of him, but he's recognizing that he did things wrong and he's making an effort to move forward in a better way - and in doing that he's regained the most important thing he lost, his love of skating.

And Adam isn't the only one whose character arc kaigo funpatsu describes, either. Reki regrets his mistakes...

...and comes back from them.

Langa recognizes his mistakes and comes back from them - and is even able to help Adam do the same.

Tadashi, more clearly spelled out than anyone, recognizes his mistakes...

...and he's able to come back from them, too.

None of these resolutions involve big direct apologies, or any kind of penance to earn forgiveness. (Personal forgiveness isn't something SK8 takes much interest in dwelling on or making characters earn in the first place, and its approach to forgiveness could easily be a whole other meta in and of itself.) They don't have to, because in the end, Kaoru's idiom is not only a message to Adam - one that he ultimately does receive, if a bit later than Kaoru hoped - but a moment that spells out a big part of the show's thesis.

Everyone is going to do things wrong in their life, one way or another - but anyone who regrets their mistakes and makes an effort to do better should be able to recover from them and regain what they lost.

Only season 2 can show us what moving forward is going to look like, but when it comes to what counts to the core narrative, everyone's taken the first steps.

#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 meta #kaoru sakurayashiki #adam sk8 #ainosuke shindo #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #tadashi kikuchi

[clownsuu]

So I saw your Robbie character and wanted to do a quick sketch of him with my oc! Enjoy!

LMAOOO they both really chose violence-

#Gotta hit Robbie with the c l a s s i c s #The most feared weapon of all #T h e c h a n c l a - #I will say tho thankfully Robbie is not the type to throw things (with his hands) #He will always use his head to chuck things/people over- primal instinct to be a lil shid #Also he can be very remorseful (after) he’s done something wrong #He’s a lil turd but he has a conscience- #Even if it’s a little delayed #He’ll do his best to try and make up for it #Even if it’s committing another crime for the sake of fixing one LMAO #BUT ANYWAY GAH ITS MY BOIIIIIII #SO MANY OF YOU GAMERS ARE DRAWING HIM AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY ;;;;;;; I FEEL SO HONORED #G A H MY SONNNNNNN #Welcome home oc robbie #Robbie robs

[lis-likes-fics]

The Sound of His Voice

Pairings: Spencer Reid x agent!Reader Word Count: 3k words Warnings: Descriptions of crime scenes/vague gore, mentions of death and murder, standard Criminal Minds stuff, fluff otherwise... A/N: I started watching CM a while ago and now I can't stop so enjoy this. There will be more, I dunno when. (Should I be working on my months-in-progress-wips? Yes, I absolutely should. Am I? Mostly. I'm trying my best)

Morgan rubs his temple, digging his fingers into the side of his forehead as he shakes his head. Tapping his pen on the desk, he tosses down his file. “But here's what I don't get,” he says, drawing the attention of the rest of the team. “If the unsub thinks of his victims as prey, even going as far as to torture the victim, why go through all the trouble of tucking them into bed?”

Hotch looks back at the picture in his own hands, where he had been analyzing the scene for the hundredth time in search of something he missed the first hundred. He shrugs, “Tucking them in can usually indicate signs of remorse.”

JJ motions to the pictures. “Yeah, but look at this guy. Does this look remorseful to you?”

You lift a shoulder, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms. “Could be a second unsub.”

You are a relatively new addition to the team. It was your fifth case with them, but they already treated you like part of the team, like family. It was easy to sink into the ebb and flow of everything, especially when they trust your skills and instincts and let you know when you're doing something wrong so you know not to do it again.

But this case was difficult. Your unsub had a strange profile: an organized, white male, with surgical experience and the MO reminiscent of a cat. He kills men and women alike, and the only connection between his victims have been their smaller statures.

The age range itself was too wide, though there was a slight reoccurrence of ages between 25 and 35. But it was still too wide, either way, not enough to work with.

He ties up and tortures them before finally ending their lives with strangulation. He uses his bare hands to get the job done, which makes him a sexual sadist. As if that wasn't enough, he carves out the victim’s heart after death and takes it as a trophy.

He shows plenty of psychopathic characteristics, but he also fits the profile of a sociopath, so it's hard to make anything stick. His MO suggests a lack of empathy and guilt, but the bed-tucking… You always lose him with the bed-tucking…

Morgan shakes his head a little, humming. “But we already ruled out multiple unsubs,” he says. You nod gently. “Besides, if this guy is mimicking the hunting habits of a cat, he would hunt alone, wouldn't he?”

Reid’s head perks up. He points a pen in Morgan's direction as he shakes his head. “Actually, no.” He licks his lips, and he's grabbed your attention like a siren to a sailor. “It's a very common misconception that cats are loners, but it's untrue. Cats prefer the companionship of others just as much as a human being would.”

You lean toward him a bit across the table, watching him as he speaks, his hands moving to illustrate his words as he does. “People often think, because of their aloof nature, that they like to be left alone or actually despise the presence of other people, including their owners or other cats—which is why people believe them to be low maintenance creatures. But they are just as social as, say, a dog. Actually, it's interesting, big cats like lions, or sometimes even cheetahs, hunt in packs to take down larger prey. Domestic cats–”

“Reid,” Morgan interrupts, making a cutting motion with his hand to his neck.

Your eyes turn back to Spencer, who seems to retreat in on himself a bit as he gives an apologetic smile and a small nod. “Sorry,” he says, pulling his lips in a wide smile.

You set a hand on the table, shaking your head. “No, keep going. That was interesting.”

Spencer looks at you with these eyes that seem to shine. Your heart feels fonder, warmer, at the sight of him.

“We really don't have time to go through all of this,” Hotch says, his tone final.

“I mean,” you continue. Since joining the team, you've grown a certain affinity toward Spencer and his genius mind. Every time he's gone on his tangents, you've become enchanted by the words coming out of his mouth like he's put some sort of spell over you. You lift a shoulder, gesturing toward him. “If this guy is basing his MO off the hunting patterns of cats, we should…know everything we need to know about them, right?”

Hotch looks at you, his face hard and unreadable. You're unsure if he's considering your proposal or just trying to intimidate you. But then he sighs, his crossed arms loosening a little as he turns to Spencer.

“Reid?”

Spencer looks between you and Hotch, relenting hesitantly as he starts off slow. “Well…I was going to say domestic cats are solitary hunters but sociable creatures.” He picks up his normal speed once more, “They can be very affectionate, especially toward their owners and other cats within their households. They're also one of the only types of cats who play with their prey before killing them, which could be a reason this unsub tortures his victims so extensively in his murders.”

“Wait…” Prentiss says, catching all of your attentions. “You said ‘affectionate toward their owners’.”

“Yeah,” Spencer nods.

She waves her hands gently, “How do cats show affection for their owners?”

Spencer shrugs, “Um, bunting, purring, some scratch, sometimes they leave offerings, like dead rodents, around the house–”

“Right there!” Prentiss exclaims. “They leave offerings.”

You sit up, “The hearts.”

Hotch’s dark brows furrow. “You're saying this unsub is taking the hearts as an offering to someone else?”

Spencer thinks over that, nodding. “It's possible.”

JJ sighs. “But that still doesn't explain why we wouldn't have identified a second unsub earlier.”

Spencer holds out a hand, pointing with his pen. “Actually, it could. You see, cats also have the tendency to mimic the people they hold affection for. We might not have noticed a second MO because the submissive unsub may be mimicking the dominant one.”

“Or learning from him,” Morgan says.

“Learning?” Hotch asks.

Morgan glances around, “Well, if we're sticking so close to this cat thing, older cats often nurture the young and teach them to hunt.” He shrugs, “We could be looking at…brothers? Older and younger?”

“Or lovers,” JJ suggests. She points to a picture, the image of a chest carefully carved open to reveal a missing heart. “If the hearts are offerings, it could be a Valentine.”

“And the bed-tucking?” you ask.

Hotch picks up the picture of one of the victims, “safely” and securely tucked into bed…put to sleep. “Well, if the hearts are offerings for a lover, this unsub is sentimental. He could feel some type of sympathy or guilt for the victim and want to ‘put them to sleep’ after the torture.” He studies the image, a flash of unease behind his eyes that you know all too well. He sets it down.

“Okay, so how do we find them?” Prentiss asks, clicking her pen before setting it down to begin a definitive course of action.

Spencer points to yet another picture. “Look at these injuries. These incisions are surgical,” he clarifies. “So the dominant is a doctor or a—a veterinarian, which can be implied through his intimate knowledge of cats’ behaviors.”

“And the submissive might work under him as a nurse or an assistant,” you continue, adding on to his clever insight. He glances over at you, smiling almost giddily at your understanding.

Hotch turns to Morgan. “Do you think that's enough to work with?”

Morgan thinks for a moment, his shrug melding into a nod as he turns back to Hotch. “To fit in with the rest of the profile,” he hums, “I'd say so.”

“Okay.” Hotch nods firmly. “We'll present the profile ASAP. Morgan, get Garcia to search for any vets in the area with any records of assault charges.” He says this all while taking long strides toward the door, his red tie bouncing slightly with his movements.

Prentiss follows him with her gaze as he exits. “You think the unsub is aggressive?”

He turns briefly. “Look at the bruising on the neck. The torture alone is an indicator of anger and frustration, but the way the victim was strangled suggests force. Much more than necessary just to crush a windpipe. He's an organized killer with a lot of rage. If he moves more along the lines of a sociopath, our best guess is he's had some kind of trouble with the law at some point in his life,” he concludes. Glancing aside, he speaks again, a little more firmly. “Morgan.”

“On it,” he says, his phone already ready to contact Garcia on speed dial.

“And Reid,” Hotch says, focusing his hard stare on the younger agent.

He stiffens, straightening his back and awaiting his response. “Yes?”

There's a pause as Hotch examines him silently. With a single nod, he says, “Good work.”

He glances at you. A nod.

You nod back.

Hotch leaves in a hurry, and your gaze immediately and instinctively flicks to Spencer. He smiles at you, turning away as though he was shyly hiding that same smile.

~

There were two unsubs: a surgical veterinarian and his nurse. You caught them just in time, just as that knife was gleaming in the golden light of the lamps swinging above the three bodies down in the basement of the submissive unsub’s house.

And now you soared 40,000 feet above the ground with another killer put away for good.

Everyone's in their own spirit, placing you across the aisle from JJ and Spencer in their own booths, a crochet set in your lap as you continue one of your projects. Emily's eyes linger on JJ, watching the crease of her brow as she studies case files.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks, setting her book to the side to shift her attention. Derek darts his eyes up from his own book, lifting his brow as he does it.

JJ looks up, breathing in and lifting her shoulder in a half shrug. “I don't know about you,” she says, “but I know that if I got an actual human heart on Valentine's Day, me and my alleged partner would have some serious issues.”

Snorts and chuckles lift from multiple places among the seats, heads shaking and attentions shifting back to their own activities.

But as soon as you hear the first lilt of Spencer's voice, like clockwork, you're a fish on a hook.

“Actually,” he begins, “if we were set back thousands of years, that would not be a very unusual occurrence.” He licks his lips quickly, “You see, Valentine's Day’s origins actually go back to a festival called Lupercal, or Lupercalia. The festival was in itself a very violent and sexually charged affair that lasted roughly three days—from the 13th to the 15th—set in Rome. Its traditions were carried out in two separate locations, firstly–”

“Alright,” JJ rises to her feet, her eyes wide in annoyance as she closes her case file in a large announcement to Spencer. “I'm getting coffee. Do you want anything?”

Spencer purses his lips, that same wide, apologetic grin covering his face as he leans back in his seat and shakes his head. “Uh, no. All good here.”

She nods, turning to walk away, “Great.”

You watch JJ leave, your eyes fall back upon Spencer, who's pulling his book back into his palms to turn his focus back on the pages. His eyes flit over the words at lightning speed, absorbing the information and moving to the next.

Taking your crochet set in your hands, you stand and plop down in JJ’s old spot. Spencer's eyes darts up to you, glancing between you and his book as you set your stuff down and readjust your yarn.

Beginning again, you nod toward him. “You were saying?”

Spencer, his eyes wide and confused and his lips parted in wonder and his cheeks a little pink, stares at you. After remembering he had to respond, he sputters in an attempt to.

“Uh, it's-it's really not that…interesting,” he mumbles, trailing off at the end as he sets his book down, his fingertips pressing against the edge of the desk between the both of you.

“Well,” you look up at him, setting your elbow on the table and tucking your first underneath your chin, “I was very interested.”

His Adam's apple bobs when he swallows. His lips form the word before it comes out of his mouth. “You were?”

You nod, “Mhm.”

Looking at him for a moment—just looking at him for a moment—you take in the pretty sight of his bewildered expression, fascination and confusion and excitement crossing his face in a flurry of emotion.

You move your elbow from the table and pick up your hook, nodding toward him before training your eyes on your work again as you await his words. “Firstly?” you prompt.

Scrambling to organize his thoughts, Spencer nods. As the words form in his brain, he smiles as he thrusts himself into another rant, speaking a little softer so as not to aggravate the rest of the team.

“Well, firstly, the uh— The-the first location was in a cave called Lupercus—named after the Roman fertility god that the celebration was dedicated to—and the second is a public meeting place called the Comitium.”

You tilt your head toward him, smiling a little. “Like the word ‘committee’.”

“Exactly like the word ‘committee’,” he beams.

Your attention, as hard as you tried to split it, becomes entirely caught up in Spencer as you forget about your project and focus your gaze entirely on him. You set your arms on the table separating you and watch as he speaks, your smile definitely too love-sick to be a hint anymore. He seems to lean in closer.

“So how did Lupercalia become Valentine's Day?” you wonder aloud.

“Well,” he starts, prompting a larger grin from you, “in the late 5th century A.D., Pope Gelasius I eliminated it and declared February 14th a day to celebrate the martyrdom of Saint Valentine instead—although it's highly unlikely he intended the day to commemorate love and passion as it is celebrated now. In fact, some modern biblical scholars warn Christians not to celebrate Valentine's Day at all, due to its Pagan roots and rituals.”

You hum, your eyes taking glances at the stretch of his skin over his fingers and the way they move when he speaks.

“Do you celebrate Valentine's Day?” you ask gently, speaking slowly.

His hands fall back down to his lap, and he shakes his head as he straightens his posture a bit. “Well…I don't usually have anyone to celebrate it with, so… No, not really.”

Feeling the shyness slipping into your veins, you set your hands on the table and let your fingers slowly inch toward him, staring at them inside of his eyes. You don't want to see the rejection if it lives there, in his eyes.

You speak slowly, emphasizing every syllable. “Would you like to have someone to celebrate it with?”

He swallows thickly, letting one hand lift onto the table, still close to him but building up courage to maybe meet you in the middle. “Like…” he clears his throat quietly. “Like you?”

You offer a right smile, finally flicking your eyes up to meet his and feeling giddy at the light blush on his cheeks, the nervous wideness of his gaze. “I promise no actual hearts.”

You watch him, and again…his eyes, his Adam's apple, his cheeks, his lips. “Uh…yeah,” he stutters. “Yeah, sure. I'll be your…your Valentine.”

You smile, a wide smile that splits your face in two. Spencer's own grin follows suit. Looking past you, he catches the eyes of Derek, who smirks and offers a cheesy thumbs up, proud of him for securing you as he did.

His gaze falls back to you when you begin to speak, your voice just as song-ish to him as his is to you. You're both equally as infatuated as the other. “You know,” you trail off slowly, “supposedly, Saint Valentine might be so commonly associated with our day of love because there are rumors that he used to perform secret weddings against the wishes of the authorities in the third century.”

He nods slowly, his brows furrowed slightly. “Yes, that's right…” Licking his bottom lip, he speaks again. “You already knew all that stuff about Lupercalia, didn't you?”

You smile, your face squished a bit as you raise your hands and close your thumb and forefinger close together. “Maybe a little,” you whisper. But then you shrug and just keep looking at him. “But I like listening to you talk.”

Spencer suddenly doesn't think you're real, but he isn't about to question it if you aren't. There's someone who enjoys his tangents. He isn't going to jeopardize that.

“Oh,” is all he says.

With your crocheting long forgotten, you lean forward on the table and give him every ounce of attention in your mind. With a fond smile on your lips and a twinkle in your eye, you rest your chin on your folded hands. “You should tell me about…” you pause, thinking, before you smile curls even more, “bees.”

His brows lift as he nods. “Okay, well,” he starts, “did you know the first civilization to practice widespread, organized beekeeping was the Ancient Egyptians, who began beekeeping around 2,500 BCE?”

Your brows lift in fascination. You shake your head, “No, I didn't.”

His smile grows. “Well…”

For the remainder of the flight, Spencer talks and talks and talks, his voice quiet and meant solely for you as he talks about whatever you want: bees and wine and marbles and Halloween. He keeps smiling at you, as you keep smiling at him. Somewhere along the way, he officially asks you on a date, and you both get off the jet together to get a cup of coffee.

You love the way he talks.

Criminal Minds taglist: ... Tag yourself here...

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #female reader

[rfxiii]

could I request hcs for franklin, trevor, and michael on how they would go about apologizing or making it up to you after they did something wrong (I feel like I'm not making sense lol 😆 but basically I'm asking how would they get back on your good side after messing up big time) if requests are close, I apologize!!

(This totally makes sense, no worries! And my requests are always open, so feel free to send an ask whenever you’d like- I’m just a little slow atm. Also, I’m sorry about the long wait, and I hope you like it ☺️)

Franklin, Trevor, and Michael making up with you after an argument:

Franklin Clinton:

Arguments with Franklin are fairly rare. He’s a pretty level headed, loyal partner. But, like every relationship, arguments do happen.

Despite being kind, loyal, and loving, Franklin is also stubborn. It can be the cause of several of your arguments. And can also lead to him refusing to admit he’s wrong right away.

But once he does realize he’s been wrong, and understands that he’s upset you, he’ll go to the ends of the earth to make it up to you.

He’ll come to you like a sad puppy- curling up beside and gently taking your hands in his. He’s had time to think about what went wrong, and what was done to start the argument to begin with. He wants to talk it over, wants to get to the root of the problem to make sure it never happens again. He’ll stay up all night talking with you, and apologizing, until he’s sure everything is resolved and that you’ve forgiven him.

He may buy you something small and sweet the day after the fight. A teddy bear or a bouquet of roses aren’t uncommon after the two of you have had a disagreement. And for a few days afterwards, he treats you especially gently. He hates hurting your feelings or making you mad. So, he wants to prove just how much he does love you. Even if you two do argue.

Trevor Philips:

Arguments with Trevor are fairly commonplace. He’s set in his insane ways, and always self assured that he’s right. He’s more apt to listen to reason when it comes to you. But his erratic, wild behavior, and bad, dangerous habits are normally the root of arguments between you two.

There are several ways things can go after you two argue. But more often than not, it’s a couple days of passive aggressive comments and the silent treatment, until he’s convinced that this is the fight that’s going to split you guys apart. And then comes the waterworks.

He comes, literally, crawling back to you on his hands and knees, sobbing and snot nosed as he begs you not to leave him. He’s usually fairly high when he breaks down like this, so talking to him is slightly difficult. But he babbles at you non stop- telling you how much he loves you, how sorry he is, how he’s “such a worthless shit”.

The true talking it out usually comes the next morning, or afternoon, depending on how fucked up he got. But after his tears dry up and he’s caught his breath from all the sobbing, his usual method of making up with you is desperate, clingy sex. He doesn’t have a very good grasp on such big emotions, so he shows them physically instead of verbally. And you can feel his love and remorse through every press of his lips and every touch of his rough, scarred hands.

Michael De Santa:

He has issues with loyalty and honesty. You knew that before you got with him. But it doesn’t make the arguments that ensure because of it any easier.

He’s stubborn, self assured, and hot headed. Getting Michael to admit he’s wrong is like pulling teeth. And getting him to apologize is harder than winning a one man war. Once you two start to fight, it can last for days. And because of his petty, passive aggressive attitude, he sometimes tends to make things twice as bad.

It’s almost never that you hear him actually say “I’m sorry”. But eventually, after a few days of fighting, he realizes he’s being a child and understands that he was wrong. Even if he won’t admit it. So, he shows it the best way he knows how. Through gifts.

You’ll come home to find expensive jewelry on your pillow, or a new outfit hung up for you in the closet. He’ll have your favorite dinner made, and he’ll buy the wine he knows you like the best. He won’t apologize to you. But over dinner, he’ll take your hand, tell you how beautiful you look, and say something like “Let’s not fight anymore, angel. You know I hate seeing you upset.”

You know he’s too prideful to apologize. So, usually it’s just easier to cut your losses and accept that, while he’ll never verbally apologize, this is his version of saying “I’m sorry”. You know he truly is apologetic, and you love him, so you both agree to let this go and move on. He’s a good man, he’s just a little emotionally immature at times.

#gta v #gta 5 #grand theft auto v #grand theft auto 5 #trevor philips #michael de santa #franklin clinton #gta x reader #x reader #/reader #franklin clinton x reader #franklin clinton/reader #trevor philips x reader #trevor philips/reader #michael de santa x reader #michael de santa/reader

[br-disaster]

Nie Mingjue's Fatal Journey crying scenes appreciation post

There's no way I wouldn't make this post, but it ended up way longer than I intended.

Fighting with Huaisang

When is this man not tearing up?

This fight is so important for Huaisang's character development and the movie's themes, with Huaisang being ready to challenge and question the Nie ways and Mingjue doing his best to uphold those traditions and keep the peace through the only way he knows how.

But it's still hard to be challenged like this and to face the possibility that everything you've ever known might not be right, actually.

And this gif specifically is from the moment Huaisang questions if Mingjue even knows what they're there to fight and what this supposed great evil that will come to Qinghe if they fail to balance their blades even is. Mingjue has no answer, of course, I suppose he was only taught this and never had reason to question it.

But Huaisang is also talking about the disciples they already 'lost' at this point of the movie, and he says something along the lines of " You don't know anything, you only know how to bring them here to die" and that does it. Because it's both "you can't follow these rules blindly when they rely on sacrificing people" and "you've changed and I don't trust your judgement on these matters anymore".

And as he says it, Mingjue looks at their disciples and he sees the puppets for a moment. And Huaisang just questioned if the other disciples were really attacked by puppets.

So that's a big moment and Huaisang is right, of course, but he doesn't have a confirmation that this is the result of Mingjue's health deterioration yet, so he keeps pushing. And Mingjue doesn't really have a counter argument because he knows what's going on with him, but it must be very scary to hear it from the person you care about the most and realize just how much you're being affected.

(Actually, Mingjue has one counter argument and that is "Well, I am at least trying to do something while you're painting and living a carefree life", and he's not wrong either. Huaisang is right and rightfully harsh, but this is the first time he's being confronted with these difficult choices and all their family history. He can reflect on and question it, but his brother has been meking those hard decisions since he was 14, when did he ever had a break to question and change things?)

Which leads us to

The Talk

After seeing his brother sacrifice himself for him at the bridge, and then seeing Mingjue be so vulnerable and lost, that anger from their fight is gone. They can meet in the middle with "You are right, I wasn't thinking straight, this is not a long term solution and I've failed at changing our ways" and "It's not your fault, you did everything you could but you're not responsible for this situation" and it's very beautiful and heartbreaking.

Mingjue is so remorseful, both because he has condemned Huaisang to die with him and because he feels like he failed everyone and everything (even if he doesn't seem to know what he could have done differently to avoid all this).

And Huaisang's reaction in this scene is so calm it made me think this Huaisang is somewhat used to his brother displaying vulnerability around him. This isn't book NMJ with all his victories, this isn't a man who never let the Unclean Realm be conquered and who could afford to keep Huaisang far away from the war. This is a man who was attacked and subdued in his own home, who had to send Huaisang to the hands of the people who killed their father.

This Huaisang doesn't have reasons to see Mingjue as this unmovable force, he has seen Mingjue hurt and threatened and fearful; and he's now seeing him remorseful and defeated.

(I'm sure Mingjue telling Huaisang about the fact that he's dying and admiting his mistakes and insecurities is something new, especially considering their previous fight, but this Huaisang doesn't take it as a shock, because he knows his brother is only human and there's only so much he can handle. He even, like, explicitly says this)

And so he assumes this calm, reassuring and empathetic posture, because that's what his brother is asking for. And it's the most beautiful thing, Huaisang has so much love for him, so much empathy. And this is Mingjue's reaction to his brother's reassurance that it's okay if they have to die there:

I'm sure Huaisang is still processing Mingjue's "I only forced you to practice because I'll die soon", but he's so good at reassuring his brother.

Because Mingjue just told him "I am dying and I'll go as a failure" and Huaisang insisted "None of this is your fault and you did everything you could and more, and if I have to die here with you today, I don't regret a thing, and you shouldn't either".

There's no despair or anger that his brother is only telling him this now, there's only understanding and acceptance and so much love and they really knew what they were doing with this movie.

His people love him

Mingjue is so moved. He just admitted to Huaisang that he's not in peace with his accomplishments, or lack thereof; that he feels ashamed to face his ancestors, having done so little.

So I truly believe Mingjue doesn't consider himself worthy of this much trust and support. (And I can't ignore how this is tied to the Nightless City situation, where he led the men who trusted him with their lives to a dangerous situation and couldn't save any of them).

As we see in the confrontation at Jinlintai, that technically happens after this movie, that is still a very sensitive topic.

And here he has his loyal disciples saying they will follow him yet again, despite his previous 'failures'; just like Huaisang was ready to die with him. They have so much trust in him, and the way he's nodding a little here, just like he was nodding when Huaisang reminded him of everything he's done for their sect since their father died, is like he's convincing himself of it. That he can do this and he can do this right this time.

And yet

He fails again. And I don't even think he knows it was him who killed those disciples, like some people say. He doesn't need to because it doesn't matter. His men, who followed him till the end of the world, are dead again. And so is the hope he had of doing this one right thing before he dies.

Yes, he supressed the saber spirit like he had to, but they're still dead, all of them.

He falls apart, how could he not?

At some point I'm sure Huaisang his holding all his weight because he just gives up. There's only so much loss one can handle and that's way too much.

And look at the way Huaisang is watching him as he realizes something inside Mingjue shattered forever.

There's so much pain in this scene, it looks physically taxing and I hope people gave Wang Yizhou a break after he shot this. I know it's his job and he's phenomenal at it, but this has to mess with your head a little.

And hey, it's a Huaisang crying scene as well. CQL Huaisang only really cries twice. First he watches his brother have a mental breakdown in his arms after unknowingly killing his own disciples; and then as he watches his brother qi deviate and die, while unable to do anything to either stop or comfort him.

(And a lot of people said there's no hesitation on Huaisang's part when he rushes to his brother's aid when Mingjue is hurt on this post's notes, and that's true for book Huaisang too, because he runs towards Mingjue as he is qi deviating, gets hurt in the process, and still keeps calling for him, which makes CQL's decision to have JGY holding him back kind of cruel, tbh, there's not a Huaisang who would run from a hurting Mingjue regardless of the risks

But at least we have this scene.)

And that's it, I guess. There's nothing uplifting to say about this, really. He just went through a lot and kept shouldering everything until he couldn't anymore. I just wish book NMJ had gotten to receive the same love and comfort and acceptance from NHS before he died, I wish he had been able to tell his brother what was actually happening, but thats kind of the purpose of this movie, so I'm just very grateful that it exists.

It's like that post says, it didn't change anything but the love was there, you know? That's how this movie feels for me.

#nie mingjue #nie huaisang #fatal journey #cql #long post #now this is meta with gifs #sorry i can't even attempt to joke a little about this movie everything is just sad from start to finish #the gifs might look worse than the ones on the other post and that's me not knowing how to deal with fatal journey being so dark and green #that talk they have feels kind of like an absolution for nmj doesn't it #book nmj deserved that too #oh yes we have two tearing up scenes #one crying scene #and one bawling his eyes out scene #on a movie that is less than 1 hour and a half long so he's crying the entire time; really

[be-curious-and-not-judgemental]

Lots of commentary on Penelope and Colin lately. I thought I'd throw my two cents in (I'm old and have lived the Fandom life before Tumblr existed).

My thoughts? Book wasn't great, but out of the ones I read, their book was the best for me (don't get me started on Benedict's book, oof). I like how the show has made Colin and Penelope true friends, definitely more than what happened in the book.

In the book, I think the world of Penelope. And the fun-loving Colin too, although I was a bit... disturbed at jealous, angry Colin. In the show, I think they gave much of Colin's charms to Benedict but I still like Colin's kind of moral compass. He's young and impulsive and generally a good person. He's a great son to Violet, a great brother and a good friend to Pen. He is also a little clueless about his true emotions. He says things without meaning offense, not necessarily thoughtless or unkind, just lacking insight. So what we interpret is this great guy who unknowingly leads Pen on. I don't think he means to, she's his very close friend. But unfortunately, he does sort of push the boundaries of propriety with her. Holds her hand, takes her into private rooms and closes the door, tells her how special she is. I can only imagine how confused Penelope would be. Everything points to his growing affection. Until she hears him state otherwise. And regardless if he didn't mean for her to hear, it was kind of a cruel, especially the laughter. Ouch!

Now onto Penelope. She's allowed to be upset. She read the signals and unfortunately, she read them wrong. Everything she's ever known about courtship is from her perception of society. She watched Marina take Colin into a private room with the intent to seduce (and to this day, she would be clueless as to what happened in that room). So when Colin grabs her hand and takes her into a private room, well, she's thinking that Colin is into her! Then he dances with her, tells her she's special and he'll always look after her. I mean, she was riding Cloud Nine. So for her to hear him laugh about courting her, well, that's gotta be a tough pill to swallow. So let her have some anger and be upset. She's allowed emotions. Honestly, I'm sure even if she's angry at Colin (and Eloise), she's having just as hard time looking internally and discovering that part of her problems stem from her own issues and fallacy of reading too much into things. I mean, she's done some very questionable things. Things that were not pretty. She has hurt people with her lies. But she also isn't the villain that some people make her out to be. The show clearly shows her expressing remorse for doing awful things. She sobs after delivering the LW about Marina and is seen crying as she writes about Eloise. I'm not sure the show will have her apologize but I don't think they'll show as this selfish manipulator that a lot of people tend to see her as. She's supposed to make errors. She's young and for the first time in her short life has got people talking about something that she created. So she's probably making questionable choices with her skewed sense of importance.

All I want for season 3 is to see them fall in love. Not with an idealized sense of love (Penelope) but truly accepting each other's everything. I love a good Friends to Lovers trope, and I think Luke and Nicola are gonna be incredible. I'm excited (and I'd be more excited if they released a date, a picture, a hint, anything about season 3).

#polin #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton

[niyabiblioteca]

i can help

PAIRING: best friend!hyunjin x fem!reader

WARNINGS: not exactly smut cuz i have horrible writers block, dirty talk, manhandling?

you’re so deprived and you have yet to receive the treatment you deserve. how could hyunjin not help you?

—————————————————————————————————————

you love hyunjin so much.

you love that as your best friend, you can always confide in him. even with the most personal or embarrassing or pathetic stories.

hyunjin has heard stories from you that most people would take to the grave, but he has made it clear in your friendship that he would never judge you and will always lend an ear or a shoulder when it’s needed.

you have taken complete advantage of that promise, hence why you’re in his kitchen for the 3rd time that week, scraping the remaining ice cream from the bottom of the tub after yet another ruined hookup.

“i swear it’s like i’m cursed hyunjin. why does your species just fail to know basic fucking female anatomy?”

hyunjin chuckles in amusement but also remorse as he watches you frustratingly take bites of the vanilla ice cream he’s bought for this occasion especially. he’s even designated a spoon for you at this point because after the amount of times you’ve ended up in his kitchen just this week, he figured you’d need one.

“like how hard is it to find a girls sweet spot or her clit or her g-spot? especially when i fucking tell you where all three are! if i have to experience a man rubbing on my fucking inner thigh again i’ll lose it.”

hyunjin listens intently, nodding and you’re honestly impressed at his ability to engage in these kinds of talks with you as if it’s so casual.

he has to admit though, this is getting old.

not the whole having you in his house talking about your problems thing. no, he promised you could always count on him and he really meant it. but the fact that all week it’s all been about how your sneaky links just completely leave you high and dry makes him feel so bad for you.

“i don’t think i’ve faked this many orgasms in my life. maybe it’s me, my vagina is broken or something. because there’s no way this keeps happening to me and i’m becoming more and more strung up by the hour.”

he let you continue to go on as he disposed of the ice cream tub and spoon for you, listening and plotting his response when you’re done. the crazy thing is, he doesn’t feel shy or weird about what he’s about to offer at all. he feels that he’s actually a very good friend for considering this because he’ll be damned if his bestie is without a proper orgasm for the rest of the week after the hell she’s been through.

“i just can’t do this anymore, hyunjin. it’s actually causing me so much stress and anger i might explode.”

you almost feel bad for going on like this because you think this isn’t even a serious issue. you just wanna have a goddamn orgasm. a real one.

hyunjin thinks it’s a very valid reason though.

“i can help you.”

literally hyunjin hasn’t said this much the entire time you’ve been over. so this definitely caught you completely off guard.

your eyes widen as you almost choke on your saliva.

“y-you can help me what?”

“ i can help you cum.”

ah. so you definitely weren’t fucking hallucinating.

you couldn’t exactly react as hyunjin grabbed your hands and pulled you out of your seat so that the two of you were standing not even two inches away from each other.

“tell me. what could i do to give you the most mind-numbing orgasm ever? what did those men do wrong?”

he put his hands on both sides of your face as he looked you dead in the eyes waiting for your answer. he was very serious about this and he was taking your pleasure seriously. that alone made your whole body hot, especially between your thighs.

“t-they were too soft with me. i wanted it rough and they didn’t give that to me.”

hyunjin gave a cute eye smile in response to that as this information was all making sense to him. he was glad he was given this insight about what makes you tick so that he could accommodate you properly.

and that he did.

not even 30 seconds after you said that, he spun you around and pushed your upper body against the countertop so that you were bent over in front of him.

he wasn’t gentle either. he had used every bit of strength and aggression to get you where he wanted you and oh did it work so goddamn well.

you whimpered as you felt his bulge press against your heat. you couldn’t see him, but just the image of his lean figure pressed against your body as his hand reached forward and gripped your hair to pull your head up made you so fucking wet it was actually surprising to you.

“mmm. this is better. so tell me, y/n. how else can i make you cum so hard that you forget about every last hookup this week?”

you were downright embarrassed of the response you managed to let out, but hyunjin felt there was no need when we was doing everything in his power to make you feel good.

“s-spank me. slap me. choke me. fucking ruin me, please.”

hyunjin let out a low growl at your tone and pressed his bulge even harder against your core, causing you to whine and push your hips back at the same time.

“please, what?”

you knew what he wanted you to say. he knew what he wanted you to say. so badly. the moment he heard it, all hell would break lose and he would give you every last inch of him if you wanted it.

“please, jinnie. fuck me.”

god, hyunjin is such a great friend.

————————————————————————

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids #hyunjin smut #hyunjin

[sunflowerskies00]

sun to me, part 4

so i stayed anyway

series masterlist

In a turn of events that everyone saw coming, Luke and I quickly became friends. Much to the dismay of Josie, who was hoping I would've 'jumped his bones' at this point (her words not mine). She was now on a fully blown friends-to-lovers conspiracy. Informing me that at some point I would realize I was in love with him and blah blah blah. Josie has a wild imagination and gets carried away often. But it's also what makes her one of my favorite people so I can't complain.

My newfound friendship with Luke is how I ended up at this place on a Tuesday after my team's practice, absolutely fuming. I was not having it tonight, it was a shit show practice, and if this was any indicator of how the season was going to go, we might as well give up now. Luke, bless his heart, looked terrified when he opened the door, not sure if I was through with my yelling he had heard on the phone or not.

Normally when there was a bad practice I ended up going to the gym, by myself, not wanting to have to let my roommates see me so upset. Not that they cared, they'd normally agree with my anger and egg it on, instead of trying to tell me I was being irrational, which I normally was. However, when I texted Luke, he said I could come over so I ditched my normal gym routine and headed to his house.

"Well, don't you look like a picture of happiness," He offers as I step inside. This was the first time I had been at his place, it was nice, very nice.

"Idiots. I play on a team with a bunch of idiots," I slide my shoes off, and he closes the door behind me before leading me through their home. "I mean is that hard to pass the damn puck. You obviously aren't going to fucking score so just pass the fucking puck. We aren't going to win when fucking Lauren thinks she needs to score every fucking goal. Another thing, she's not even that good, oh and she's a fucking rude bit-," I stop myself mid-rant, not just to take a breath but because I realized his brother was here, and me yelling about a bitch on my team isn't the best first impression. Luke is stifling a laugh.

"Jack, this is Edwards' sister, y/n. Y/n, this is Jack, my brother," He introduces us.

"Nice to meet you," I offer him a slightly awkward smile.

"You too," he says, having more of a smile than I do. "Now please continue about this puck-hogging bitch?" My cheeks turn pink at that.

"I was just going to say she's a rude fucking bitch who flirts with other girls on the team's boyfriends and has no remorse," I cross my arms over my chest. "That's it," I finish.

"She sounds awful, but I'm sure your coach will take care of it. Well, at least the puck-hogging thing, I don't think there's much to be done with the boyfriend stealing, that's just a character flaw," Luke offers. Which honestly, is probably what I needed to hear. If I had been with the girls, it would have been full-fledged agreeing with all of it, and agreeing that I should just plow her into the boards at practice and just accept getting reamed out for it.

"She does sound like a rude bitch," Jack nods in agreement. "But Luke's right, your coach should deal with the on-ice issues, not much you can do about the other things, but try not to do anything that makes you seem like the ass." I nod, accepting what they're saying, and knowing that their advice is the most rational, and anything I had been concocting in my mind on the way over here, was irrational and should probably never see the light of day. "We were just going to have dinner, want anything?" Jack offers.

"Sure," I nod. Luke sits on the couch and pats the spot next to him. I flop down and slump. Freaking Lauren had drained all the positivity and energy from my body.

"So, is you ranting about teammates after practice a common occurrence?" Luke asks me. I shake my head.

"No, I mean don't get me wrong, I practice more often than not pissed off about something, but it's normally related to me and how I performed, very rarely is it because of one of my teammates. Lauren is a transfer, and she's made approximately zero friends on the team," I offer as an explanation.

"So, if you hadn't come here were you just going to stew in your anger?"

"No, well sorta, I go the gym, well if it's something that I think has to do with me, I go to the gym. Otherwise, I rant to my roommates but they normally encourage the anger and irrational ideas to deal with it," I lift a shoulder, not really knowing what else to say.

"You go to the gym? After multiple hours at practice?"

"I know, it's not good, but it's habit," I mumble, my cheeks turning pink, for no reason. He's being genuinely curious, it's not like he's scolding me. Luke doesn't say anything else because Jack yells something about food.

After dinner, I get ready to leave, not wanting to overstay my welcome, when Luke tells me we're going somewhere. Once I'm in the car, he informs me we're going to get ice cream. I protest, trying to tell him I don't do sugar during my season, but he tells me to loosen up and to treat myself, especially after my shitty day. I don't protest anymore, giving into his reasoning. We get to a little ice cream place not far from his place and against my wishes he buys me ice cream, not letting me pay for myself, and we sit outside at a little table. Luke has a triumph smirk on his face as I narrow my eyes at him.

"Stop being so grumpy, you have ice cream, and you're hanging out with me, what could you be mad about?" I roll my eyes at that, a small smile slipping through at his playful arrogance.

"Some dumb man wouldn't let me pay for my own ice cream."

"Yeah, well it was his idea, and he wanted to see his friend less grumpy, so stop frowning and enjoy the mint chip," He points his spoon at me. I roll my eyes but smile, taking a bit of the ice cream.

--

By the time I get my car from Luke's and get back home, it's late. Really late. I'm expecting everyone to be in bed, not asleep, but in their rooms. I'm wrong, they're all sitting on the couch, waiting for me.

"Hey," I offer them a smile.

"Hey yourself, where were you missy?" Josie is the first to speak. "You left after practice which was approximately, 6 hours ago, and we haven't heard from you since, just tracked your location to see you ended up at a random house, and then some ice cream place, back to the house, and then here," she recalls my locations. I'm going to delete Life360 so these weirdos can't stalk me anymore.

"Nice stalking skills," I tease her.

"This is serious, where you were you?"

"I went to Luke's, I told him I was in a shit mood and he told me to come over, so I hung out there for a while, and then he insisted on ice cream, and then we hung out at his house for a while before I came back here," I give the brief rundown of my actions for the evening.

"You sure spend a lot of time with him for claiming he's just a friend," Ava's voice isn't accusing, just observing.

"He's a good friend," I shrug my shoulders, that really was all the explanation I had. Luke is an amazing friend, and that's something I didn't say about many of Ethan's former or current teammates. I also had a tendency to not get along with them, big egos on those hockey players (of the male variety).

"And will he remain just a friend?" Lindsey asks. I just shrug, I wasn't sure. Luke was good-looking, anyone with eyes could see that, and I loved spending time with him. But in the weeks that I had known him, he had become such a good friend, and that wasn't something I was willing to give up.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. They must sense my discomfort because they change the subject, dropping Luke from the conversation.

#umich hockey #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #jack hughes #quinn hughes #nhl imagine #ethan edwards

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Jonathan Sims

Half the fandom will vilify him and call him stupid or an irredeemable monster for his choices, which he made because he was a little sneaky. The other half will woobify and baby him and act like he had no agency or choice in his actions and every other character is to blame for the consequences.

The classic monster/human struggle of finding one's humanity after doing unimaginable harm, Jon Sims is often morally misinterpreted as being a "good" or "bad" person, instead of someone who has done good and bad things in his very human experience of having the world's most toxic workplace and being in his 20s.

Fandom constantly asserts he’s done nothing wrong and can do no wrong however the entire podcast is about how trauma fucks people up. 4th season of the show spends a lot of time on him having a crisis about the morality of feeding off people’s fear in a way that deeply hurts them. Fandom ignores this season apart from to talk about how mean the others characters were to him in it. Characters he’s hurt are described by the fandom as ‘whiny’, ‘self-serving’, ‘a tantruming child’. He has a female narrative foil with a story arc that mirrors his. She is hated by much of the fandom

Wei Wuxian

Sooo many people think he's God's Perfect Little Boy or something but like. This man killed. This man literally tortured someone to death. Was it due to trauma? Sure! Doesn't fucking make it okay! And it's not like he shows true remorse for it either. As much as I love Wei Wuxian, he's not exactly the example of morally good/okay. (Can't say he's evil either though. Like. Look at all the good he did and tried to do in his life.)

He tortured a guy but he also did his best and got a second chance with a new life

#misrepresented morally grey #round 2 #bracket a #did nothing wrong bracket #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #wei wuxian

[rakurairagnarok]

Batting for the other Team

It’s finally done!! This was a request from @bigbren1979 . I hope you like it my dude!! Please enjoy. I also have some interesting news coming up later today!!! Stay tuned!!

Brett Lawrie was a massive success on the baseball field. People loved seeing this very attractive man swing away, both men and women. Unfortunately for both of them, he was already taken, having a wife and kid. Even worse, Lawrie was a massive homophobe, making fun of and harassing all the gay guys that worked out at the gym. He didn't make it very obvious so he would not get into trouble, but everyone knew he really hated them all. 

Sadly for Lawrie, he messed with the wrong guy today. 

Andrew was having a beer with his friends in the local bar, when he saw Brett entering, clearly drunk. He sat down with his buds in a booth and immediately shouted for a waitress. When a guy approached the table, Lawrie and his friends immediately started calling him names. “Get us some beers, faggot” he said while spewing in his face. Andrew watched the scene unfold with his fists clenched. That bastard, always pestering the queer folk around town. He was about to get up to say something to the sportsman, when a thought entered his mind. A sly grin spread along his face as he sat back down and enjoyed the rest of his evening.

The following morning

Andrew walked into the gym, looking for his target. He found Brett on  the leg extension machine. Andrew moved over to the baseball player and smiled. 

“Hey man, You’re Brett Lawrie right? I’m a huge fan, dude! That last game was fantastic! Your swings were top tier!” Lawrie smiled. 

“Thanks bro! It was such a great game. I’m glad there are still some actual baseball fans around here, and not just fags.” Andrew bit his tongue and smiled. 

“Yeah man, been a fan for ages!” Lawrie beamed as his ego was stroked to high heaven. Andrew rummaged through his bag and took out a workout shaker.

“Hey man, so I wanted to give you this, it's a protein shake I developed myself. Gives you this hugeeee boost. Best workout you've ever had, trust me. And unlike  pre-workout, you don't even have to wait!!” Lawrie took the bottle with big eyes and took a swig. 

“Bro… this tastes divine!!” he took another sip and, kind of reluctantly, gave back the bottle to Andrew. Andrew saw the remorse in his eyes and smiled. 

“You know what man, you can keep that one, I got another one in my locker.” Brett looked up. “Are you sure… you don’t-” 

“I insist dude.” Andrew retorted and handed him the bottle.

Brett gazed at it and quickly took another mouthful. He stared up at Andrew and then immediately downed the whole bottle after which he  let out a massive belch. “Jezus that was fucking great man. Thanks a lot” 

Andrew grinned “No probz bro. Be sure to see me after your workout though. I can hook you up with some more” 

Lawrie nodded. “Yeah sure thing bro!” Andrew turned and started to walk towards the weights, starting his own workout.

In the meantime, Lawrie continued with renewed vigor. He had actually been almost done but the shake had given him an energy reset. He was ready to keep going. He continued to workout his legs and ass. His girlfriend loved his massive ass. When Lawrie was headed towards the Squat rack, he felt his stomach rumble. He chuckled. “Oh dear, there come the preworkout gasses. Oh well, people should know I've been here, they'd better be honored to smell me.” He said with a smug look on his face. But the farts and burps never came. Even when squatting down with 50 pounds on each side of the bar, not a single puff of air came out of him.

Instead, his body slowly started to swell up a bit. His lean body started to fill out with some fat and muscle. His rough slender arms started to fill out his shirt. His stomach roared again, this time enlarging his pecs into soft, warm cushions of flesh. Another rumble and he shrank down a few inches, but as he was squatting down at the same time, he didn't even notice. The former 6 foot athlete, was now an adorable 5 '7. With another rumble came another set of changes. His 30 year old face started to lose some years. Patches of aged skin started to smooth out, the few wrinkles he had pulled away, and his beard receded into a soft stubble. His stern face melted away into a soft and cute face with boyish charm. His short hair started to grow out and turned wavy. Lawrie bit his lips as they slowly plumped up, making him look very cute, but also very, very gay. He squatted down once more and the ink on his body started to wash away with all the sweat that ran down his frame. He now had smooth and youthful looking skin. His final squat and his body hair all but disappeared leaving behind a slight dusting of hair along his new juicy pecs. Having some energy left, Lawrie decided to put on some weights and continue the squats. With every squat his ass felt like it was on fire. Each rep made his ass bigger, and more jiggly. His below average rod also started to grow. Not just hard, but longer, and thicker too. His balls grew too, with every rep making them bigger and faster. Lawrie’s ass was getting bigger by the second, almost ripping his shorts. He was also getting smoother, all the hair sucking into his balls and shaft, leaving a perfect smooth member. 

He finally put down the bar and stood there, panting and sweating. “Fuck… that was amazing” he thought to himself. He grabbed his towel and headed to the locker room, ready to get some more of that delicious drink. As he opened the door he was met with an alluring smell that he could immediately place; it was the drink. He looked around and saw Andrew sitting on a bench, legs spread apart, with a towel around his waist, covering his manhood. 

“Hey bro… I “ Lawrie fell silent. His usual rough voice was gone. Instead, when he talked a youthful, squeaky voice rang through the room. 

“Hey man, you're finally done. Took you long enough. But damn you look good!” Lawrie looked down, and saw his clothes didn't fit him the same as they did when he put them on this morning. They were hanging lower on his body, but he filled them out much more.

He looked up in the mirror and screamed. Instead of the handsome, rugged face he knew, a new young, cute, and very queer looking face looked back at him.

“What did you do to me” He asked, in that annoyingly gay sounding voice. 

“You just love to make fun of all the gays around here, so I thought, why not make you experience it for a change” he spread apart his legs a bit more, and Lawrie got attacked by a fresh, warm wave of the smell. 

“Y-you …. Put something in the drink” Lawrie stammered, feeling a thread of drool run down his chin. 

“You look adorable like that, but yeah you're right. You want more right, that’s why you came? Want it from the source?” Andrew threw off the towel and Lawries knees buckled. The smell spread around the locker room, and more drool came spilling out of Lawries mouth. Andrew slowly walked over, his thick dick standing at attention. As he came closer there were no questions needed about what the source was; Lawrie only had eyes for Andrews dick. Andrew stopped just in front of Lawrie, his dick on eye level with the former star player. 

“Fuck you’re cute now.” Andrew cooed. He ran his thumb along Lawries soft jaw. “You want a taste, baby?” Lawrie gulped and bit his lip. 

“N-no I’m.. “ 

“Lick it boy” Andrew commanded, and Lawrie immediately complied. He opened his mouth and swallowed the rod. The bear groaned as the boy started to expertly suck him off. Lawries eyes opened wide as the familiar flavor of his drink started to fill his mouth. 

“That’s a good boy” these words filled Lawrie with a weird warm and fuzzy feeling. “You wanna make daddy cum, don't you?” Lawrie wanted to spit out the dick and curse out the man in front of him but instead he looked up into the bear's eyes and nodded. 

“Very good boy, you're such a cutie. I’m gonna take such good care of you” As Andrew said that he shot a load down Brett Lawries throat. This in turn made the boy cream his own pants, shooting out all the old negative parts of the married baseball player. What was left was Barry, Andrew’s soft boyfriend pup, who was such a massive slut for his Daddy's cock. 

“That was amazing daddy… did I do good?”

“You sure did pup… but I’ve got a question… What is your sexuality?”

“Im very gay Drewie. I’m so very gay for your cock… And those of your hot friends…”

Andrew laughed and he pulled his boyfriend up, giving him a warm embrace. “That's my boy. Lets get you cleaned up and home’

Later

It's been a few months since Brett Lawrie has been missing. The gay community of the town didnt really mind though. In his place, they got a new slut with a very cute face. Andrew’s new boyfriend made a very cheap onlyfans, and had plenty of time for visitors. His instagram is full of his dumb, cute face.  

Brett doesn’t remember much from his old life, only that it got substantially better when he and Andrew met. He now gets endless attention, money, and dick from him so he doesn't have much to complain about. 

#transformation #s2g #straight to gay #himbofication #transformation through drink #age regression #rakurai

[sflow-er]

To August anon 2

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply! I don't know if you'll even see this as I've decided not to risk the backlash of putting it on the main tag, but I hope you do.

[Earlier posts: August anon 1, August anon 2]

I want to curate the discussion a bit now that you've shifted part of the focus on Sara. I don't share your position of liking both her and August for being 'morally dark' people, and I fear it may be a bit jarring to any Sara fans reading this. So I've decided to screenshot your message and put it under the cut instead of replying directly.

We disagree on some fundamental things when it comes to August's and especially Sara's characterisation, and I doubt we're going to reach consensus. But that's okay! I'm just going to explain some parts of my POV below, and then we can agree to disagree. There are also a few areas where we seem to be getting our wires crossed (e.g. what we mean by 'understanding' the consequences) so I want to clear those up.

Most of this rambling essay was written before the S3 trailer came out, so I'm not focusing much on the glimpses we see of them in the trailer. But I am still using the spoiler tags just to be safe.

CW: negative take on Sara (but the anon actually likes her); couple of suicide mentions

Okay so... I'm going to start by clarifying a couple of things:

Understanding vs. understanding

Infantilising vs. taking young age into account

When I talk about August and the consequences, I'm not saying he lacks the intellect or analytical thinking to know/predict them. I'm saying he lacks the empathy and relevant frames of reference to understand them. I think we're just using the word 'understand' to mean different things - maybe internalise, empathise or relate would be a better choice for what I mean by it?

To revisit my previous example, August as an incredibly privileged member of the elite cannot understand i.e. relate to Simon's experience as someone whose ability to make his own reputation and get by on his own merit has been permanently affected by the video. As a very confidently straight man, he also cannot relate to Wille's experience as someone whose non-straight sexuality, a deeply personal and private thing that he wasn't even done figuring out, has suddenly been exposed to the world and potentially even some homophobic hate.

I'm not saying this to infantilise, defend, or excuse August. I'm saying it because to me, it partly explains why it's so easy for him to dismiss the harm to Simon and see his betrayal of Wille as just a matter of loyalty - the only moral code he knows - instead of something that would've been wrong no matter who the victim was. It's a thought pattern that stems from his upbringing and worldview, and it would have to be dismantled for him to feel proper remorse. Which I think would probably take professional help at this point.

(I agree with you that August would be extremely prejudiced against Boris. A glimpse of him googling therapy providers or booking an appointment for after graduation might feel more realistic to me - but I guess it depends on what the writers want to do with him. We already saw very quick progress with Wille in S2 so it's safe to say they can take some liberties.)

I still believe that August will lose his social status in S3, likely towards the end. But it's fair that you don't, and the trailer is certainly edited to support your position. If he retains his status, then you may be right about him remaining the same old asshole! If he does lose it, then my original point about him likely not being resilient enough to cope with the consequences still stands. He is very much the kind of person to whom suicide is the "proud" way out compared to the shame of losing everything.

Now, the age thing.

Respectfully, I think you may be ascribing too much meaning to August and Sara being of age in S2 (note that Sara was still 17 when she made the deal with August in S1). Eighteen is the age of legal adulthood, yes, but it doesn't make them fully grown and mature adults in the (neuro)biological, psychological or social sense.

[This feels like a good point to say that I am not going to try to account for Sara's neurodivergence here. I definitely don't have the insight, so if anything I've written below is in any way inaccurate or offensive to persons with AuDHD, please let me know!!]

Firstly, it's important to note that that the human brain matures gradually and unevenly. The prefrontal cortex i.e. the 'reasoning centre' only matures in the mid-to-late 20s, while parts that handle things like right/wrong, risk/reward, and emotional responses (e.g. the amygdala) mature earlier. This can cause teens and young adults to struggle with things like impulse control, assessing the long-term consequences of their actions, understanding others' emotions, and rational decision-making in situations that trigger a strong emotional response. Reason can get overtaken by emotion on a chemical level; sometimes the young person can't even fully explain afterwards why they did something they rationally knew was wrong all along.

[I don't think August was in a particularly analytical state of mind when he decided to post the video. He was an intelligent but emotionally unstable and empathically challenged 18-year-old who felt like he had nothing left to lose and the only moral code he knew (i.e. loyalty) was obsolete. He was also still stewing in the emotional turmoil of his humiliation and likely stuck in a negative feedback loop. It feels very plausible to me that he could be in a very bad place for a pretty long time and still function enough to plan his revenge (more on the revenge part below).]

Secondly, both August and Sara have also had some pretty traumatic experiences (Sara's bullying, August's dad's suicide, the influence of both their dads while they were still in their lives). These may have impacted their emotional and psychological development in various ways and created some thought patterns. Not to play arm-chair psychologist, but I don't think it's a coincidence August's decision to post the video is related to his family estate and legacy, while Sara's decision to make a deal with August is related to the threat of being sent back to Marieberg.

[This feels particularly relevant for Sara, whose bullying was brutal and long-term enough for her to have to repeat a year. The negative attention on Simon after the video probably seemed less severe in comparison, and also like a 'first incident' (in fact, she might have even felt like Linda was applying a different standard to Simon's ordeal compared to hers by immediately wanting to take them both out of Hillerska).]

[I vehemently disagree with Sara's idea that the damage to Simon was already done and it wouldn't have made a difference whether he knew who was responsible, but I think it matters to some extent that she didn't know the history between Simon and August. To her, the video probably seemed like something that was mostly between August and Wille. That idea was likely reinforced by August consistently dismissing Simon's side of it - and also by Simon seemingly moving on with Marcus and no longer being the talk of the school after Christmas. This kind of rationalisation may have even made Sara feel better about pursuing a relationship with August in S2.]

[I also think Sara probably felt like she had the right to be selfish after everything she'd been through. Simon's support during her bullying wasn't conditional; she didn't feel like she "owed him" any sacrifices. It was clearly Simon's idea to follow Sara to Hillerska, and she may have even felt like he was hovering a bit (I doubt S1E1 was her first time saying she was fine now and he didn't have to be there). Then, Simon started to keep secrets and even see Micke for reasons Sara didn't know, altering the terms of their relationship, while Sara was finally daring to dream of things she'd been denied for so long. Friends, a better future, even romance. To her, it felt extremely unfair to have to give all that up and go back to a school that was a nightmare to her but not to Simon. Especially when her and Simon's lives weren't as intertwined anymore and she finally felt like she was gaining some agency in her own.]

Thirdly (circling back to the point about maturity), it's good to keep in mind that both August and Sara are still in the high-school phase of life. A phase when most people are a bit selfish, and their past and current dramas and dreams for the future are everything to them. They haven't really acquired much experience or long-term perspective yet. So I really don't think we can call them that much more mature in the social sense than, say, Wilhelm and Simon. They are still messy teens living their messy teen lives, shaped by their upbringing and limited life experience, all the while thinking they are basically grown adults.

So am I saying all this to infantilise August and Sara and excuse their actions? I'm sure it sounds that way; hence, not putting this on the main tag.

But the way I see it, to infantilise them would be to say they weren't responsible for their actions or didn't know what they're doing. They are responsible, and they do know. All the factors laid out above (and also in my previous August posts) explain their reasoning and actions to some extent, but they do not excuse them. The fact still remains that they both applied their best judgment and deliberately chose to do the thing that they knew was wrong.

You're right that they took time to consider their decisions in S1, although I don't think we can know for sure exactly how long August takes. The timeline is a mess at that point; he is still at the Palace wearing the same outfit when the others make their statement, and I doubt he could've been there overnight. But he does take several hours in any case, and although he isn't thinking rationally at that point, he still knows what he's doing is wrong. In fact, he does it with the sole intention of hurting others, which makes it all the more reprehensible.

I just want to caution against labelling him as some evil, fundamentally unfeeling mastermind. He's just a very selfish and immature young man with a very warped view of the world, who needs to see some consequences for his own sake as much as his victims'. I think part of the reason we saw him turn so soft with Sara in S2 was to underline that he is capable of empathy and caring; it's just a matter of unlocking those emotions. They haven't exactly been nurtured growing up, so he is only applying them to the people he deems "worthy", instead of all his fellow human beings. That selective empathy is another thing he seriously needs to work on, alongside the lack of accountability.

As for Sara, she takes several days to consider what to do about the video, which makes her betrayal of Simon more severe. But as explained above, it's so much more nuanced than her not caring about him. (Or indeed her being some poor victim who didn't know what she was doing and fell in love with The Devil! Don't get me wrong, August definitely let her believe she was guiding him in a better direction, which may have even pushed some Micke buttons in her subconscious and/or memories of Simon's insistence that everyone deserves a second chance... But she still made her own decisions and is responsible for them.)

It's easy to forget that we do in fact see Sara aware that her actions are wrong even before the end of S2. She looks conflicted/unsure when she and August make out in S1E6, cries when Simon earnestly proclaims "I like you when you are you" and "I'm trying to be your friend again because I need you" after she has just betrayed him, and again looks conflicted when the siblings talk about loving the "wrong person" in S2E5. She did some very selfish things and hid them for much too long, yes, but I believe her regret is genuine. It will take some skilful writing to make her and Simon reconcile in a way that makes sense, doesn't feel rushed or reduce her to an archetype, and doesn't just magic away her leftover feelings for August (as those will probably take some time to clear out). But I do have faith it can be done.

So I think that just about covers what I wanted to say. This isn't a comprehensive essay by any means, and I'm sure it won't go down well with everyone. I also don't expect it to change your mind about these characters, anon, and that's okay!

I mostly just wanted to push back on the notion that Sara and August being 18 means all their bad decisions are now on par with bad decisions taken by fully grown adults and their character development is now set in stone. I highly doubt the show will end with them both proudly standing behind their poor choices - I can certainly see August doing that if he doesn't see any repercussions, but not Sara.

In any case, thank you for taking the time to explain your point of view on these characters, and sorry again for taking so long to respond!

#yr but doesn't need to go in the tag #august horn #sara eriksson #sargust #august horn of årnäs #august anon discourse #yr analysis #young royals spoilers #yr spoilers #young royals speculation #yr speculation #young royals season 3 #young royals season three #yr s3 #yrs3 #young royals season 3 spoilers #yr s3 spoilers #yrs3 spoilers #tw suicide mention

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for punishing someone who stole something of mine and broke the rules?

For background context, I (17M) am the leader of a dorm at a very prestigious magic school. At my school, there are certain heroes of legend whom we deeply admire. Each dorm is modeled after one of them and its students aspire to emulate their great virtues. The patron of my dorm is said to have been a highly respected queen who maintained order in her queendom by strictly enforcing the rules. Naturally, I've memorized every last one of the rules her citizens were required to follow and ask the students of my dorm to do the same. After all, my mother always said that a man who cannot follow rules is a man who cannot achieve anything, and what kind of leader would I be if I didn't wish for my fellow students to succeed?

It's also important to note that if anyone dared defy the queen, it was off with their head! I know what you're thinking, and no, I do not literally decapitate people. My interpretation of the phrase is more metaphorical: whenever someone breaks the rules, I magically place a collar around their neck which seals away their magic and can only be removed when I feel they've learned their lesson. It seems some of my dormmates dislike me for this, but it's not like I ENJOY having to punish them in such a way! I hope in time they'll understand that I'm only trying to help them achieve greatness.

Now, onto the actual issue at hand: recently I caught one of the first years in my dorm--I'll call him A (16M)--sneaking around in the kitchen and eating a tart. The 89th rule we are to follow is quite clear: never eat a tart without the queen's permission. And as the dorm leader, he needed MY permission and certainly did not have it! Not only that, but this tart was meant for a very important unbirthday party! Obviously I was furious with A for this careless violation of the rules, so I lectured him and then had his head. But now, for some reason, HE'S angry at ME.

If A had just apologized and brought me a new tart--as per rule 53, "stolen items must be replaced"--then I WOULD have forgiven his transgression. Instead, I caught him at lunch the next day calling me a petty tyrant and claiming that my "rule obsession" is "out of control"! He even dared ask me to remove his collar, in spite of his obvious lack of remorse for his actions! So I simply reminded him of rule 271--"one must leave the table within fifteen minutes of completing their lunch"--and left to acquire sugar cubes for my tea in accordance with rule 339.

And if all of this wasn't bad enough, A came to the unbirthday party the next day and tried to apologize with a CHESTNUT tart! CHESTNUT! That is a CLEAR violation of rule 562, and completely RUINED the party! So I destroyed the offending tart and threw him out of the dorm, of course. And now I'm hearing rumors that he plans to challenge me for my position!

I simply don't understand! I've been dorm leader for a year, and we are the only dorm that hasn't had a student drop out or be held back since then. Clearly I am correct here, and it would be for the good of everyone to obey my rules, lest everything descend into chaos! But for some reason A just keeps going against me!

I don't believe I've done anything wrong. But a friend of mine whom I trust a great deal suggested that I get a second opinion. So, am I the asshole for trying to be a responsible dorm leader?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[marsgod]

Hello! May I request Riddle, Jamil, Leona and Azul with a reader who overblots after mysteriously gaining magic and being overwhelmed by it? I’d like the reader to be nonbinary/gender-neutral please!

Hehe! Of course, congrats on being the first anon to request anything^^

*＊✿❀【Ｒｅａｄｅｒ　ｏｖｅｒｂｌｏｔｔｉｎｇ】❀✿＊*

Warnings; overblot, minor cussing, not really as angsty as i would’ve hoped but whatever ig;-;

RIDDLE, before it happens, see’s something is obviously stressing you out. He might try to ask what’s wrong, or give some herbal tea to try and coax you to say something, although if you don’t then he obviously can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.

RIDDLE is horrified by the overblot, not even giving thought to the fact “Wait- they have magic?!”, if said magic can override his magic then he’s trying to conduct everyone that doesn’t need to be there, out. If he can use his magic to help, then he’s going to do it with hardly any remorse until it’s said and done.

RIDDLE is more stressed and confused after it’s done, he’ll won’t stay by your bed the entire time but he makes it a point to send someone(if not himself) to do a checkup every day until you get better. Once you do. that’s when he starts asking a buncha questions that you may or may not have the answer to.

If or when you tell him how you got overwhelmed by receiving magic your soul and mind wasn’t prepared for, he’ll tell you how he practiced his own and exercises you can try. With supervision ofc.

JAMIL also knows something’s off, but doesn’t go out of his way to push into it unless you come to him or it just suites him to do so. It doesn’t supposedly affect Kalim or himself.

JAMIL is confused, one of the only ones who think about why you have magic while your overblotting, though he recognizes that’s not the main issue at hand. Jamil mostly focusses on trying to get Kalim, at the very least, out of harm’s way.

After it’s said and done, JAMIL only really cares to check up per Kalim’s request, he understands how it can be hard recovering from Overblot and he cringes at remembering how it goes about. He’ll (albeit a bit awkwardly) ask how you’re doing.

JAMIL might tell or write something’s down to help, but he also won’t go out of his way to do anything.

AZUL probably doesn’t notice something is wrong himself, either it’ll be too late or the twins will tell him. If he does notice or has been told, he’ll probably invite you to hang at the lounge (you destress, he gets money)

AZUL is frightened in the most confused way possible, while trying to act cool. “Why is the human overblotting? the human has magic? what’s happening? oh god floyd what the fuck are you doing?”

AZUL will check up on you himself after it’s all done and you’re bedridden by the magic, more for his own curiosity(maybe a little bit worried). If you choose to tell him you got overwhelmed by so and so then he might offer studying/practice in exchange for a favor or something.

LEONA probably won’t notice, or doesn’t care, he doesn’t like you enough to do much of anything. If you come to him then there’s still no guarantee that he’ll listen.

LEONA is fully on the ‘fight or flight’ thing, so he doesn’t really process that “Oh shit, it’s that’s the herbivore” Leona just immediately tries to fight, if he can’t cause one thing or another, then he flees, whether the ppl evacuating follow him or not is up to them.

LEONA might check up on you once you’re awake(otherwise he “won’t waste his time”), but less worried and more curious as to how the hell a previously defenseless herbivore got any magic.

LEONA doesn’t care to train you, he can’t be bothered, although he might give you enough hints to point you to Jack.

#twst headcanons #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle x reader #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #jamil viper #jamil x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #{..no identity found..}

[ss-shitstorm]

Okay okay I’m currently rereading fortuna primaginia for like the seventh or eighth time rn and I am genuinely very curious (and you by no means have to answer this if you don’t want to) but how would the story have differed if Ratchet had shot his shot first and reader had ended up with him before Optimus? My mind is just rolling at the parallels of what could be similar but what would be so very different. Would Optimus have even attempted engaging the reader after that? I love them so much!!!

(Anon sorry I'm sure you just wanted a simple little aside but you're getting a full blown greentext headcanon sloppy style fanfic)

Slaps ask This bad boy can fit SO MUCH angst in it good fucking god. This has been literally eating at my brain every waking second since I received it. There’s just so, so many ways this could go down. And since there IS so many ways this could go down, please by no means treat this shit my brain coughed out as the only way. It’s just a way. But it got my in a vice grip and won’t let go.

Also if anyone’s got their own ideas about how this could’ve gone down please, please share

-Around the time you guys had your first little late night/early movie pow wow, Ratchet, in a wired/half asleep delirium, makes a pass. -It’s a throwaway pass, probably relevant to something in the movie. He doesn’t expect you to even respond. -He definitely doesn’t expect you to reciprocate. -He knows he should stop right exactly here and never bring it up again

-But he doesn’t. -He’s old. He’s tired. He’s (at least a little) drunk. He’s been fighting for so long and passed up so many chances at happiness. Fuck it. He’s gonna see where this goes. -He starts making excuses to see you more often, and you do the same with him.

-OP notices this and immediately backs off, full stop. -You figure he wasn’t actually that into you to begin with, and (albeit reluctantly) shrug it off, and are thus freed to peruse Ratchet with no remorse. -In reality, it’s a knee-jerk reaction out of respect to Ratchet, since he’d done the same for him when they were dating, and he’d first started talking to Elita. Ratchet already sacrificed his happiness for him once before. he’s not going to let him do it again. -But that doesn’t stop his feelings from doing…whatever it is they’re doing. -You still saved Bumblebee. You still adopted Bumblebee, so this mech can’t not see you. -Every time he takes you to the park, or the movies, or on a nature walk somewhere, and sees you playing with his sparkling he wants to shove his head into an industrial trash compressor -He’s happy for you. He’s happy for Ratchet. He’s forever indebted to you for saving Bumblebee and Primus-fragging-blessed why isn’t that enough? -That and he’s still actively mourning the loss of Elita, whom you share an almost identical EM signature with, so every time he’s within sensing range of you he’s blasted with grief and guilt. -But he still spends time with you. It hurts just to look at you, but if the alternative is not seeing you at all then he’ll gladly endure the pain.

-When the heat cycle hits, you’re actually with Optimus. He, you and Bumblebee were in one of the training rooms getting some (gentle, for Bee’s sake) exercise. -When that electrical, wet, cracked egg sensation first drips down your spine, Optimus stops what he’s doing, stares at you, and starts trembling. -You’re understandably worried and ask him what’s wrong. -He manages to articulate something about you emitting an abnormal EM frequency, and to please to go see Ratchet about it immediately. -You have more questions, but he excuses himself from the conversation to walk a safe distance away from you Bee, and proceeds to tear a fucking wall out -You go to the infirmary to see Ratchet, who explains heat cycles and why he thinks your mutant little human body is mimicking one while crushing the edge of a medical berth with his servos. -You, already pretty riled up from watching two (2) of your handsome robot buddies crush and smash things on your behalf, tell him to go ahead and break the Hynek’s scale with you -Ratchet,having zero reason to restrain himself otherwise, mass converts, bends you over a human-sized medical gurney, and fucks you until you black out.

-You don’t go into a coma. Ratchet’s exceptionally skilled in maneuvering his field, so freeing it from your grabby, inexperienced one isn’t a problem for him. -Nor do you wind up with a busted pelvis, bruises or bleeding after sex(at least, not by much. His dick’s still the size of two tallboy monster cans duct-taped together.) -But after the third or so time you guys bone, you do start coughing a lot. And passing out a lot. And puking a lot. -Ratchet’s starting to worry he missed something in his evaluation of your body’s adaption to energeon and cybertronian bio fluids. So he runs some scans. -Lolnope. Turns out you adapted too well. You’re fucking pregnant. -He stares at the results for a whole-ass hour before he can even summon the courage to explain this to you. -By “explain” he means “I had no idea this was possible and I still don’t know how it’s possible or what the fuck it’s going to do to your tiny little squishy body if you decide to keep it.” -You, knowing full well how devastatingly close their whole species is to extinction, thinking about Bumblebee growing up without ever seeing another sparkling, decide “fuck it. We doing spacemom 2 : electric boogaloo”

-Ratchet’s whole ass world changes right exactly then. -In a bad way. -He’s going to be supportive. He’s going to take care of you. He’s going to monitor you night and day and give you everything you could possibly ever need, because not only is this entirely his fault and he cares about you, but- -He doesn’t want to be around sparklings. -Bumblebee is different. Bumblebee doesn’t exist because of him -But because of what happened with Soundwave, and the cassettes, he does not want to have a sparkling. He’s not allowed to. Not after what he did. -He starts drinking more. And loosing himself in his work. And finding reasons to not be around you. -Or anyone. -He’s in his lab constantly. He says it’s because he’s learning as much as he possibly can about human bodies and human reproduction and running what tests he can to find out how to give you the nutrients the sparkling needs without poisoning you, how to compensate for the effects of your weaker field on it’s organ and internal systems development. -He’s not lying. But he’s also using it as an excuse to stay the hell away from you. -Your relationship starts deteriorating, along with your health. -Seeing you getting sicker and weaker because of something he did to you is dredging all his baggage with the Iaconian hospital experiments up from the dark corners of his mind and you are in no condition for him to confess about that now. -So he hides. You’re left out in the cold.

-Optimus see’s you emotionally freezing to death, and offers warmth. -The time you’d normally reserved for spending with Ratchet is now spent with him. -You don’t want to dump your problems on him. You don’t. -But Optimus feels the sting of Ratchet’s cold shoulder just as badly as you do. So he winds up being less an emotional dumping ground and more of a commiserating partner. -You’re both so worried about him. -Op’s so worried about you, being balls deep in your carrying cycle, puking blood almost daily and in a terrible place with your baby daddy. -He tells himself it doesn’t go deeper than that. And it never will -He knows it’s bullshit. -He knows his spark screaming out for him to comfort you and screaming out for him to take you are two vines in the same jungle, hopelessly braided together and impossible to separate fully. -He knows this and he still invites you out to stargaze after Bee’s been put to sleep, wrapping you up in so many sweaters and blankets and bringing you to the top of the base for the clearest view of the desert sky. -He’ll lie down on his back and you’ll sit next to his helm and nerd out until you inevitably fall asleep mid-sentence somewhere. -He’s heard you name every single star in every single visible constellation a hundred times, and he’ll gladly hear it a hundred more. -He offhandedly compares you to Ursa while you’re pointing it out, and you break down in tears. -You’re not a bear. You’ve never been a bear. Bears are strong enough to keep their shit together. You’re not keeping your shit together. At all. -He tells you that’s bullshit. He tells you anyone in your position would be breaking down, yes including a bear. -He tells you you’re the strongest person he’s ever met and whatever’s going on with Ratchet’s not your fault. It’s not. -He has a point, but you still feel so weak, and tell him you can see why Ratchet wouldn’t want to be with someone as fragile as you. -Seeing you like this breaks something in him. There’s protocols blowing up left and right in his processor and spark telling him to stop the tiny human from crying. Stop the adoptive mother of his sparkling from crying. Stop you from crying. -So he rolls over, he cradles you against his cheek while you sob. You lean into him, throw your tiny arms around him and - -He kisses you -He realizes it’s a mistake the second he does it. He breaks the kiss, wracked with guilt, apologies immediately, tires to pull away- -You don’t let him. You kiss him back. -His field rolls over you out of nowhere like a tsunami, knocking you on your ass. -He can feel your field already sinking it’s inexperienced kitten claws into his, and he yanks it away before they can entwine further. -You two stare at each other in silence for a few moments after that, before wordlessly heading back inside. -You go straight to bed, too tired to analyze exactly what the fuck that was, or wonder if you were wrong about him not liking you. -He goes back to his room and stares at the wall. He has no excuse for what the fuck he just did. He doesn’t even drink. He made that mistake stone cold sober. -Both you and Ratchet need his support right now, not whatever shit he just pulled. -He’s a leader and a father. He can’t ever afford to make a mistake like that again. -But he can’t leave you alone, because he knows Ratchet won’t be here for you. -And he can’t leave Ratchet alone, because he won’t let anyone else near him. -He stares at the wall for the rest of the night.

-The next day, the sparkling sends out it’s first ping, seeking to start it’s nonverbal, psychic bond with it’s sire -Except, it doesn’t send it to it’s sire. -Ratchet’s field had been clamped so tightly around his frame ever since this started you haven’t been able to feel it at all. Naturally, the sparkling had nothing to cling to either. -Instead, it forms a bond with the mech who’s field dragged you in like a riptide -It forms one with Optimus -Neither of you bring this up to Ratchet. You can’t. You both already feel guilty as hell for whatever the fuck that was. -But neither of you can deny the gravitational pull you feel towards each other anymore. -The sparkling starts sending him clips of your voice. Of His voice. -Optimus feels his spark splitting in two both because this tiny little ethereal voice is calling out to him, not Ratchet, and because he can’t answer that tiny voice. -You make tentative plans to put your head through a fucking cheese grater the second this metal baby is out of you.

-Fortunately, that comes sooner than later. -Unfortunately, much like with Bee, the sparkling’s field gets lodged in your brainwaves during emergence, and can’t fully separate -They do finally become untangled once she’s born -But that’s only after your neural activity slows to a crawl when you blackout -NOW it’s coma time, baby.

-Seeing you comotose after giving birth to his sparkling is the last straw for Ratchet -He snaps -Hands the sparkling to Optimus, apologizes, and just leaves. -Optimus is left largely alone and flailing with this sparkling, who is basically recognizing him as her dad. -She repeatedly sends him clips of your voice, her way of asking “Where’s mom? I want mom? I waited so long to see them where’s mom?” -The first thing she blurts out with her primitive vox are the beginning notes to David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs. -Echo seems like a fitting name. He relays this experience and the suggestion to Ratchet. -Ratchet’s optics glaze over. His lip trembles. He unintentionally crushes the cube of hi-grade he’s holding, but agrees. -But beyond that, Ratchet is gone. -Wakes up, attends to any medical issues for the team, then drinks himself to unconsciousness, rinse and repeat. -He is a miserable, drunk old bastard barely fit for duty let alone to be a father -Thank god for Fowler, who’s kept people like Astoria, Carly and Raoul on call for exactly this outcome(He predicted robot fucking would have repercussions, and he was RIGHT) -Astoria takes one look at your comatose body and gets her tubes tied immediately. -They wind up having to take babysitting off base most of the time, though, because Ratchet refuses to be around any humans -Which is why when Jack, Miko and Raf wind up there eventually, he’s less than enthused. -They should leave. They NEED to leave, because he’s only ever hurt things smaller than himself. -Despite this, Raf and Bumblebee manage to still get through to him somehow. -His relationship with Echo, though. -It’s bad. -He can’t even look at her without seeing your face. And Soundwave’s face. And every single cassette he forced into existence.

-Optimus visits you while you slumber. -It’s not often that he can do this, pressure of being a leader. And a father. And now the lone diplomatic relation between cybertronians and humanity, after you decided to take a preemptive dirt nap. -Sometimes he tells you mundane things, like how his day went, how everyone’s doing -He likes to tell you how Bee and Echo are doing. That they’ve gotten along exceedingly well. Their so close in age, that’s to be expected. -But Bee adores her, and she’s aggressively possessive of him -And, when he’s run out of things to say, he’ll thank you. He’ll thank you for saving Bumblebee. For fighting so hard to establish refuge for his people here. For keeping him company. For being his friend. -For letting him love you. -He always chokes up on the last one, and leaves before he can finish, excusing himself from a quiet room and leaving as silently as he came.

-Ratchet visits you too. -A lot -In fact, when he’s not in the infirmary, or his quarters, or drinking in either of those places, he’s here. -But unlike Optimus, he comes up empty for words. -He just watches your unmoving body, and the gentle oscillations of the various monitors hooked up to you -He will say one thing, though, every time. Right before he leaves -It’s always the same thing. -”I’m sorry.”

-While this is going on, you’re busy cavorting around with Elita in the realm of the primes with Rumble and Frenzy -She (lovingly) berates you for not sleeping with her husband, which is a trip in of itself. -In between trials she teaches you how to hop in and out of dreams -Even the nightmarish, extremely unstable ones -So naturally, you dive right into one of Ratchet’s dreams -You’re flooded with every single last thing haunting his mind. -All of it. His history with the medical research. Everything he’s done. -It’s so horrific you can hardly stay for longer than a heartbeat, but- -You fight through the darkness to get to him, unrelenting until you grab his servo -And when you do so, you get to see him. Actual him. The him buried beneath the toxic walls he’s built up. -And that him bleeds nothing but the purest, unconditional love for you. For your sparkling. For Optimus and Bee. -He’s still there. The mech you fell in love with is still there. -He’s just drowning in his own regret and misery with no way out -His anguish is an uncharted mountain and he needs a guide -You’re going to have to be that guide -So with some intense astral fuckery, you drag him him out of his own dream, and Elita drags the both of you into Optimus’s dream.

-Optimus’s dream is more stable. -Thank god it can withstand the emotional shitshow that is the four of you being in the same place -There’s enough angst and self-blame to flood god’s basement -Elita, being dead and all, has even less tolerance for this bullshit then the three living of you combined -She grabs you with one arm and kisses you, and uses the other arm to push Ratchet into Optimus’s lap. -It devolves into a fourway pretty fast -You’re the luckiest human in the fucking universe -Afterwards, Optimus laments how guilty he feels for wanting this. For enjoying this. How bad he feels about wanting you. How much he still wants Ratchet. -He feels like a selfish asshole for pining after you both. You two should be happy together. Why can’t he just be happy for you two while silently drowning in his grief for Elita -Both you, Ratchet and Elita tell him that’s bullshit. -Both you, Ratchet and Elita tell him all of them deserve to be happy. -Elita tells all of you in no uncertain terms if you three don’t find a way to be a thruple IRL she’ll put each and every one of you in a sex coma IRL so help her Primus.

-You wake up. -It’s been 30. Fucking. years. -The first thing you see upon waking up is the last thing you saw before blacking out -Your little girl -She’s taller than a two story townhouse and her optics are the same color as your eyes. -”Welcome back, Mom.” -You can’t even begin to comprehend what you’re seeing -You don’t have time. The next person in the room is Bee, who’s even taller. -He knees down, trembling, warbling, tears in his optics. -”Did you have a nice nap?” -Reader.exe has stopped working -The next person in -Oh -Oh. -It’s Ratchet -Bee and Echo clear out before you can scream at them not to leave, leaving you alone with your estranged boyfriend

-He walks over to you slowly, mouth set in a firm, flat line. -He kneels down beside you, places his hand on the side of the berth -And starts openly weeping. -He’s sorry. He’s sorry for putting you in danger. He’s sorry for knocking you up. he’s sorry for icing you out. He’s sorry for fucking everything and tells you if you had even a shred of self-preservation instinct left in you you’d leave him and never look back and he’d never blame you and- -And you tell him to shut the fuck up. -You kiss him. He smells like highgrade and millennia of repressed guilt and you can’t get enough of it because it’s fucking Ratchet.

-You tell him about the coma. You tell him about all the dreams. You prove it to him by relaying everything about the cassettes. -His face pales further. You decide to (temporarily) withhold information about the dream orgy -You reassure him that where you were and how you got there, you could see shit. You could see the driving force and divine interplay of how bad decisions and poor judgment come to tangle hopelessly together and prompt action like puppeteers through the strings of the livings and you’re absolutely not done which this, but -You still love him. Nothing is ever going to change that. -Dude looks like he was fucking reborn. There’s something so young in those teal searchlights that make you feel like a child again. -For a moment, everything is okay. -He spends the rest of the night with you, never once leaving your side.

-You don’t get a happily ever after yet, though. -You still have two grown-ass children you need to catch up with -One of which doesn’t know you at all. -She’s extremely eager to start a relationship with you though because she’s been looking forward to this her entire life -She might be an adult, but the way she turns her optics on you and listens with rapt attention when literally anything comes out of your mouth makes you feel like you actually got your baby back -She’s utterly fascinated by you and worships the ground you walk on, treating you like some sort of beloved idol or storybook character come to life -It’s cute for now and probably not the healthiest reaction but that is by no means your biggest concern, because -Echo and Ratchet’s relationship is terrible -You can’t even call it a relationship -She’s got daddy issues out the aft -Blames him for everything that happened to you, which he happily reinforced with his self-depreciating lifestyle -Bee also low-key blames Ratchet for taking his mom away. He understand it’s not his fault, it was an accident, but you were gone for 30 years. -Echo is absurdly attached to the gaggle of humans that raised them, even more so than Bee. -She’s even more attached to Optimus, follows him around like a lost puppy and craves his approval -Which isn’t that hard to earn because he adores her. -He struggles with her grudge against her biological sire, though. Because no matter what he’s never found it in himself to blame Ratchet, and has tried, to little avail, to turn her towards him. -She’s shown considerable proficiency in medicine, but refuses to study it seriously because it’s what “that guy” does and FUCK “That guy”. -You know it’s not entirely your responsibility to fix her and Bee’s opinion of Ratchet -But it’s an enormous fucking mess and the burden’s going to be way easier if shared

-You go to Optimus for help -Because, aside from the humans, he’s the one who basically raised these two. -Alone -That cannot have possibly been easy -That cannot have possibly left him without some damage -He’s been kind, but distant ever since you awakened -Seems to be reluctant to speak to you alone -But once you have him alone, he breaks down -Sweeps you up in his hands -begs you to just let him hold you -He missed you. He missed you so fucking bad -He never told Ratchet about the time you two merged. Or the bond he formed with Echo because of it -Or the kiss -The guilt that comes over his face when bringing this up breaks your heart -You can’t take it anymore

-You go to Ratchet -You tell him about the dream in blinding detail -He looks like he’s watching a slow motion train crash when you bring it up, but he remembers every last vivid bit as though it were yesterday -Admits it was the happiest he’d ever been and waking up felt like getting kicked out of heaven -Admits he never actually wanted to break up with Optimus -Admits those feelings resurfaced when you were sick and Optimus was the only one he’d let anywhere near him -Admits that made him feel even worse because you were fucking dying -Probes you for your feelings for Optimus -This time you break -Fall to your knees and start fucking sobbing -You’ve loved this mech ever since you first laid eyes on him -Ever since fate determined you’d bring that tiny yellow sparkling from the brink of death -Being apart from him makes you feel like a plant without water. You’re shriveling up and drying out. -You need him. You don’t want to be apart anymore. -You tell Ratchet about the merge. The bond. The kiss. -Ratchet looks about as relived as he does devastated -Relived, because you want Optimus as badly as he still does -Devastated because he made himself physically unavailable for Echo to form that bond -He knows forming that bond with Optimus was probably the best thing that could have possibly happened to her at the time -But he also knows it happened because he fucked up and continued to fuck up for thirty whole ass years and his daughter wants nothing to do with him and it’s completely his fault -You tell him as kindly as possible, that yeah, he’s right, but also to shut the fuck up. -If she knew what he’d been through, she’d understand. -It’s gonna take a long time and a whole lot of work, but it’s not too late to fix this. -It’s also not too late to fix things with Optimus, and that probably won’t take as much work

-Since that’s the easier of the two tasks by far, that’s the one you guys start with -Both you and Ratchet corner him in the infirmary after he comes back from a mission a little banged up -Tell him in plain fucking english you both remember the dream, both want him romantically and carnally, both willing to move mountains to make this work, and if you don’t want Elita to make good on her threat you’d better sort this shit out now -Optimus doesn’t need any further convincing -Fucks you both till you see Primus and pass out.

-Now that you’ve made headway on sorting your relationship shit out, -It’s time to start sorting the parenting shit out -With the three of you working together, it’s a lot less overwhelming -Bee, emotionally mature as he is, winds up working through his grievances with Ratchet pretty easily -He never wanted to hold a grudge against him to begin with, and was pretty eager to drop it when given sufficient reason -That, and the fact that his dad, (who he’d been goading to confess to for years) has finally hooked up with his mom makes him pretty happy. -Echo is far less easy to appease -For a while, it actually gets worse, since she’s jealous of the time you and Optimus spend with Ratchet -But because of the time you’re spending together, it makes it harder for her to avoid him

-She asks you one day “what the frag you could possibly see in him” while she’s simultaneously re-calibrating the ground bridge resonance controls and running an experimental distillation on synthetic red energon -Staring stupidly with your mouth open at the similarities, you tell her -”Right now, I see you. Goddamn you’re just like him.” -She snaps her wrench in half, growls and kicks the shards across the room. -“Like him? I can’t fraggin’ stand him!” -You sigh. “He can’t stand himself either.” -She makes a face like she knows you have a point but isn’t willing to admit it even to herself, and that’s the exact same face Ratchet made when you told him you wanted to keep her.

-She finally approaches Ratchet the next day -Just walks up to him while he’s in the lab, drags a stool over and sits down -”So apparently we both hate ourselves” -Ratchet stops what he’s doing. -“What could you possibly hate yourself for?” -”Besides the obvious?” “-What obvious-?” “I’m the reason mom was in a coma.” -Ratchet drops his wrench. And his jaw -Tries to tell her that’s bullshit. -She won’t let him get a word in edgewise -”And I know you hate yourself for that too.” -He doesn’t even try to deny that one -”Hating you for the same reason I hate myself makes it easier to hate myself. And I…don’t want to hate myself anymore.” -Ratchet.exe has stopped working -She tells him she has absolutely not forgiven him for being practically non-existent in her life, and she’s not sure if she ever will but- -Maybe she doesn’t have to, to move on. -Maybe they can acknowledge this as a massive-ass problem that will keep coming back and never fully be resolved -And maybe they can move forward despite it -And despite both of them trying exceedingly hard not to be, they’ve wound up extremely similar, so -Maybe learning not to hate themselves will be easier if they do it together. -She tells him in spite of everything she still wants to like him. So bad. -Ratchet finally stops, and turns to look at her. -She’s gritting her denta, digging her digits into the side of the seat so hard it cracks, and holding back tears. -He tells her, after several tries to get his mouth working again, that he wants to give her a reason to like him. -”Yeah well-” she shakily pries her servos off the seat, jumps down, picks up his wrench and hands it back to him. “I guess we have the rest of our lives to figure that out.” -Her hands brush his as she hands the wrench back, and for the first time, she doesn’t recoil or jerk them away. -She leaves -He stands there for a whole thirty seconds after she leaves staring at the wrench before setting it down on the desk -Then putting his helm down on the desk -And starts crying harder in relief then he’s ever cried in his life

#Fp #optimus x reader #Optimusxyou #Ratchet/reader #Ratchet/you #optimus/reader #optimus/you #ratchetxreader #ratchetxyou #transformers #tf fandom #sparklings #what the fuck have I done oh god sorry

[it-is-i-zim]

hi there! how do you feel about suicide squad: rebirth? i’ve heard a lot of mixed reviews and while i enjoyed it, i can understand a lot of the criticisms.

Suicide Squad: Rebirth the series or Suicide Squad: Rebirth the comic that leads into the series? Either way I feel obligated to say that they're good as a Captain Boomerang fan because it's like... One of very few comics that characterize him alright.

Like... In Suicide Squad: Rebirth (the comic) the burp here was kinda... Unnecessary? I get that he's supposed to be like... The Gross One™ and they're trying to show that but it feels weird because this is the only time it happens in the comic and it didn't happen at all after that in the series.

In the series it was replaced with something... A lot worse... Toilet humor.

This would be fine if this was supposed to be for a much younger audience, but I think the target audience is supposed to be late teens and young adults and it just happens so often in the series that it kinda feels less like toilet humor and more like the writer's barely disguised fetish.

But I did really enjoy Digger referencing to the Alien franchise.

Not only does it confirm the existence of the Alien franchise in the DC universe, but it gives Digger something other than Boomerang Man. You know?

Let's not forget his Uber Autism Moment™

And then there's how Captain Boomerang was characterized with Hack. He shows remorse. Like... Actual, genuine remorse.

He killed her, but as you can see even after he's done it he just feels awful. He felt obligated to do so because he's supposed to be "the bad guy" and he hates himself so much.

And Harley Quinn picks up on his guilt a few issues later.

THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT!!!!! THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE WITH DIGGER MORE OFTEN!!!!!

Give me more of this and less of... Whatever the fuck John Ostrander did to him in the 1987 Suicide Squad comic. If you don't know John Ostrander decided he was racist in that comic and for some reason people still think it's canon when half of the stuff that happened in that comic literally can't even happen anymore as a result of things decided on the current canon such as Sam Scudder being alive and the wrist bombs not being a thing anymore. Not to mention his entire origin is completely different now.

Speaking of his origin... the Secret Agent stuff... exists? I wish they elaborated on it a little more I guess cuz it's an interesting concept. They only ever talked about it in the last 8 pages of issue 2 and then all of issue 47. It felt like it was trying to continue his characterization as a compulsive liar in issue 2 but then the concept was used as filler in issue 47 so it's just canon that he's a former Secret Agent now. And then it hasn't been brought up at all since. And that was 5 years ago.

In all fairness they haven't used him much since, but still. And uh... Seeing how this year's Batman: The Brave and the Bold comic is going with Harcourt's lil story... I think it's going to be a while before he shows up again. Which really sucks for me because it's not like there's a ton of fan content for him, especially not a lot of positive stuff.

Anymore it's Tim Drake fans who haven't seen him at all outside Identity Crisis, that one story from the Red Robin comic where Tim wanted to kill Digger, and Knight Terrors: Robin, as well as people who've literally only seen him in the 1987 Suicide Squad comic and then try to argue with me on what is and isn't canon and then they try to site an Encyclopedia that proves me right more than anything else in an attempt to prove me wrong.

But enough of that. Basically, I like it cuz Captain Boomerang is there and they at least tried to give him something. Unless you're talking about the standalone comic Suicide Squad: Rebirth then I'm neutral about it. Captain Boomerang is there. And that's neat. He's not the biggest douchebag there but he also didn't really do anything so I won't really go out of my way to look for it. Like... I had to pull up a digital copy for the one screenshot all the way at the top.

#long post #captain boomerang #george harkness #digger harkness #Suicide Squad #Suicide Squad Rebirth #Suicide Squad comic #tw blood #cw blood #blood #Sorry about the rant at the end #This also ain't the best review because I literally didn't read the parts that Captain Boomerang wasn't really there for #So I honestly probably missed out on like half the comic #And for that I'm sorry #But it's also not like he's in a whole lot other than this comic and 2 other suicide squad titles that came just before this #Excluding 1987 ofc #God I hate that comic so much #I've literally had to explain to people that he was LESS RACIST in the 60s #The fucking 60s!!!! #LESS RACIST IN THE 60S #WHEN SEGREGATION WAS STILL LEGAL #HE WAS LESS RACIST WHEN SEGREGATION WAS LEGAL MY GUY #THAT'S HOW BAD THE 1987 SUICIDE SQUAD WAS AS A CAPTAIN BOOMERANG FAN

[dmagedgoods]

4, 8, 13, 30 for Rowley please!

Ohhh thank you so much! 💕 4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found? Very early, after you collected Astarion and before you find Gale, in the wreckage of the Nautiloid, hiding in the shadows and playfully threatening the MC once they cross the area. 8: Who are they suspicious of? In the very beginning? Of Astarion more than anyone. But since Rowley falls in love with him fast, he doesn’t mind being suspicious of him, and the fact that he barely can believe a word he says for quite some time becomes painful instead of a concern for his own wellbeing. Aside from that? Rowley doesn’t trust fast in general but also doesn’t mind that distance. Everyone tends to be out for themselves, it's only natural. But at the same time, they are all in the tadpole mess together. He assumes no one in the camp will try to slit his throat (well, no one but Astarion and Lae’zel so far), and if he’s wrong about that? Well, they’ll have to overpower him first. 13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it? Rowley is an assassin, he killed for a long, long time, since his late teenage years. Still, his thoughts and feelings about killing are more conflicting than one would suspect: It’s what he’s good at, sometimes he feels all his talents, all the things he has to offer at all only serve this one purpose: to take lives fast and efficiently. There hasn't been much of a choice in it when it started and not even a true question. He was able to kill, he found out early, and he wanted his brother safe, they needed the money and there only was one way to support his dreams and give him more than a life of constant fear and misery. Yes, there are moments when Rowley enjoys the killing. By now, he's free in it. Because of it. It places him out of reach. There is nothing that can limit his freedom as long as he kills without remorse. Furthermore, it comes with the satisfaction of a job well done, with the excitement of a challenge and a hunt when he is lucky, with the adrenaline that makes him feel alive instead of empty for a while, and – in personal cases – with a grim pleasure to make them pay. All of this is short-lived though and quickly replaced by cold once the deed is done. He struggles to see a purpose in life, but killing seems to take even further from glimpses of sense he spots. Over the years, he reached a point where he wanted to stop the killing altogether and use his skills for non-lethal missions instead. The death of his twin brother made him slip again, caused an abyss in him far worse than anything he felt before, and pulled him deeper into darkness and despair he tends to answer with a cold grin. But life is good for surprises, isn't it? Maybe he can find a new purpose. Maybe he already did. If he is brought to a point of caring, Rowley is able to do a lot of good without asking anything in return. If he is brought to a point of cold indifference and consumed by pain, he is able to commit atrocities (or simply destroy himself). I’m not yet sure where he’ll stand at the end of the game or if he'll stand at all. 30: What's your favorite thing about your Tav? My favorite thing about Rowley? The reckless strength and selfless, unconditional determination with which he protects those he loves. And also his admirable freedom to say and do whatever he wants. He doesn’t overthink people’s opinions about him unless it's someone he really cares about and even his dearest friends and loved ones aren't safe from his teasing or annoying behavior sometimes. Of course, he goes too far in it with those who aren’t close to him, says terrible things here and there just to trigger an interesting reaction or to put himself in the worst possible light (and portrays himself as even worse than he actually is), but aside from that and the rest of this ability? It has something uplifting, the thought of walking so unbothered and without anxiety.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #tav #my ocs #oc: rowley #ask games #dmagedtexts #bg 3 spoilers