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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

#bnha 315 #overhaul #chisaki kai #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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thesunshinebunny · 3 years

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When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part III)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

Summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: It will take more than a betrayal and blood blath for the reader to stop protecting those who really need it.

Words count: 4.7k

I knew things were going to go from bad to worse when we returned to Paradis; but I never imagined that I would have a letter from the Supreme Commander on my desk. Days had passed since my fiasco conversation with Eren, spreading the word of my insubordination towards the lack of notification to the respective authorities. Sure, the guards had let me into the cell just because they knew me, but I never had the decency to tell Hange-san or even ask for a meeting with the Supreme Commander.

And here I was. Wrapped up in a much bigger shit roll since I decided to enlist in the Survey Corps, with a simple letter demanding my presence in his office for a little "talk."

The medical center where I could do my practices with ease was quite far from the justice’s court where the Supreme Commander was, having to go out to ride through the beautifully paved streets. A street I crossed, a street I saw citizens read the newspapers that had brought so much catastrophe to peace within the walls. People were revolting against the militancy, demanding Eren's immediate release, praising he was the only one who could lead Eldia to its ultimate glory.

If they could heard themself right now. They spoke as if Paradis itself had become an empire, a power on the verge of attacking and taking every country under its feet. It was as if they wanted to turn the game around, to be us the empire and our enemies the war slaves.

I was still far from my destination, but the crowd could be seen cowering above the barred court doors. Men and women with posters screaming without sense or unity, an angry mob demanding explanations, ready to use violence to make their way into the hierarchy.

I got off my horse when I faced the crowd, needing to get up front and through the secured gate and with my loyal traveling companion I wasn't going to make it. I left him tied up outside a local, asking the owner to take care of him, if necessary, I would give him a monetary compensation on my returned.

I tried to get through the mob, asking permission, even nudging some people, but no matter how hard I tried to take a step forward, there was always a bastard blocking my way or pulling me back; They even had the decency to grab my coat and throw me off.

"Excuse me, but I need to pass"

Empty words at this situation. If they didn’t listen to the specialized people of the militancy, it was obvious that they wouldn’t listen to me, a simple doctor in practice for the legion.

"Free the leader of the Eldian empire"

"Free Eren Jaeger"

"Give us some damn answer"

"Fuck off you cheap bitch"

The day wasn’t even beginning and I was already receiving hateful comments, typical of closed minds.

I looked around for a solution, I was wasting valuable time and starting to get irritated. If I was late for my meeting with the Supreme Commander, who knows what punishment he would give me apart from my insubordination.

Besides of the mob there wasn’t much more than a few elegant houses and shops, no other entrance except the one in the backyard, but to get there, I would have to go all the way around the building and it would take much longer. The walls were too high to jump alone and too smooth to climb, otherwise enough people would have sneaked in by now.

I turned my head towards my horse, which was still in the same position where I left him, patiently awaiting my return. Surely what I was about to do wasn’t going to please him one bit.

I ran as fast as I could and unhooked him from the wooden post, ignoring the comments of the owner of the premises who was indisputably claiming for his pay. Without turning my head to such scum, I motioned for the horse to turn around and run down the avenue, against the crowd. Being at a considered distance, I again instructed him to turn around and go as fast as he could.

"I'm sorry Phillip, you're going to have to forgive me for what I'm going to do"

We were a few meters from the mob, mentally preparing myself for the feat that was about to be accomplished. Almost arriving, about to impact, I gave him a little jerk to the right, guiding us towards the wall, and raised my legs towards his back, squatting against him, waiting for the right moment and the impulse he would give when braking hard.

When he was about to slam his trunk against the wall, Phillip stopped his galloping, propelling me forward and flying toward one of the door columns. I grabbed the stone as best I could, avoiding falling on my backside, and raised my legs towards the top, finally reaching my goal. Being already on top and looking at the terrified faces of the rebels, I went down to the other side of the door, slightly hurting my feet and hands in the fall.

"That was quite a show"

Hitch was already in front of me, malicious and proud on her face. She was giving a few applause to the air, trying to lift the spirits of the people of the military squad, even if her acting was a bit cocky.

"Desperate situations call for desperate measures." I waved my hands over the coat, looking at her with the same smug visage she was giving me.

I didn't like Hitch per se, but we weren't friends either. The way she acted and talked gave me bad vibes and I planned to stay as neutral as possible in her presence. Even her gazes seemed to want to pierce the soul of whoever she was speaking to, as if she wanted to undress you internally and seek your darkest and most shameful secrets. I would stick my hands in the fire by assuming that in her younger years she had been a bully or a blackmailer.

But it was better to keep those thoughts for yourself, before generating greater repercussions in the times that hugged us.

"Did you come to see Armin and Mikasa?"

Any thoughts I had of her dissipated.

"They ... are they here?"

I was fuzzy. Not because of the fact that I was uninformed about their actions when they left the legion barracks in the morning, which I was getting used to since last year, but because they were in the same place as me. What a coincidence.

To be honest, the two of them never owed me anything and it wasn't their duty to tell me where they were going every minute of the day, just like Hange. Each one of us had their own will to go where we were sung; But if the three of us were in court, and if they gave me the chance to guess, I would say that to see the Supreme Commander, it made me a bit suspicious.

"Yes, they are talking to the Supreme Commander to try to go talk to Eren"

I must have hit my head at some point in the battle of Marley, because lately every occurrence was quite impossible to believe. They were the ones who asked me to go talk to him a few days ago, they were the ones who questioned me when I returned to the waiting room where the few survivors of 104° Squad were;it was them who gave me a compassionate look as they saw I hadn’t accomplished much and I had ended any relationship that bound me with Eren.

And now here they were, demanding an audience with their childhood friend, while I would have to be judged for the same action. Something wasn’t fitting. I looked around trying to find them, or maybe to find an answer to the thousands of questions that were forming in my head, and finding no help, I turned to Hitch.

"What is going on? Why-"

Before I could finish my question, an explosion rumbled across the cobblestone floor, hurting our ears and knocking us to the ground. Fire and debris couldn’t only be seen in the air but also smelled, flooding our nostrils, causing us to cough and cover our eyes with debris.

I looked up to find a flare coming from one of the court offices and a heavy body falling in our direction. I couldn't make it out until it fell to the ground, leaving a stain of blood and ash around it, apart from leaving a trail of smoke from where it flew off. My eyes were opened with shock and amazement, since the person in front of me was nothing more and nothing less than the same militant leader, half of the body lost and burned by the explosion.

"Well ... that's new"

In all my years of service I have seen every horror inside and outside the walls. True, even the Survey Corps had acted against the law, but it was for the greater good, to expose the bastards who lived on the wall farthest from the sea. I had seen people hit and kick another for a piece of food when the wall Maria fell. I had seen how we were massacred one by one with bullets to the head as we tried to go beyond the walls.

But never in those years I had seen a rebellion like the one taking place, being willing to eliminate such an authoritarian figure as Darius Zackly.

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The chaos went unnoticed by a large part of the population, only those who were present at the time of the explosion and the military police were aware. Faced with such an atrocious event of treason, a small meeting was convened involving the most important heads of each faction; unfortunately I couldn’t be there, my presence had been required in a clinic a few meters from the court. There were quite a few injured.

Some had mild and harmless burns, others had large parts of the body with third degree burns. Some had splinters stuck in their arms and faces, some had a piece of wood stuck in their stomach.

A couple of hours had passed which seemed like weeks to me. I had been assigned the milder cases, but as I pulled the splinters out of a patient's eyes, I had the countless howls of people echoing in my head, listening as they took their last painful breaths. People who asked to die on purpose to ease the pain.

Hours passed and welcomed the next day. I had terrible black circles under my tired eyes, hands stained with dried blood and splintered; they’re fucked up and I needed to heal them as quickly as possible before they got infected. I grabbed the cutting tools and placed them on a metal tray, the cold of the surface soothing the pain in my hands, and although it wasn’t too heavy I felt like it trembled on my grip.

I heard the door open wide at the other side of my last patient's room, the front door, letting in multiple heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor. Apparently, the soldier who had entered was in a hurry or was about to deliver terrible news...I wish I had been wrong in the second option.

"Bad news, Eren Jaeger has escaped from the underground cell"

I dropped the metal tray on my feet, making the sound of metal and utensils rumble across the room. My hands were shaking even more and surely if I saw myself in a mirror I would see my face completely pale.

"If you want to free yourself from this cell, go ahead"

My words invaded my mind like a bucket of cold water, as if they wanted to make me see that I was to blame for his escape. I knew that sooner or later he’s going to free himself, his eyes showed it and by not getting an answer that contrasted with mine, it was perfect evidence of his plans. But even knowing it, even Hange knowing it, I didn't expect him to do it in a moment of such betrayal.

I cleaned my hands as best I could with a towel hanging over the room sink and grabbed my coat, rushing out of the clinic.

"I’m sorry, I need to go"

But where to go was the question. I had no idea where Eren might be, and even if I knew what he was going to win, surely he was with his followers and with the simple image of me approaching from the horizon, I would be dead in a matter of seconds ... or imprisoned, whatever happen first.

At the exit of the clinic, there were two soldiers of the military police standing guard and watching the justice’s court from the distance. I approached them with the intention of asking them about the whereabouts of the Survey Corps, but they looked at me like I had the plague and pushed me aside hostilely, almost knocking me to the ground. I kept my composure as best I could and looked for someone else to ask; I didn’t have to wait long, since a woman of my age with mahogany hair, extremely black and matted, pointed the way where my comareds had gone. According to her words, they’re heading towards a large and luxurious building in the middle of one of the main avenues, recognizing the word restaurant from the conversation between the riders.

The only place that matched that description was the restaurant where Nicolo worked.

I hurried out with Phillip galloping through people, avoiding stepping on them and apologizing on my back. If there was something clear to me in all this mess, it was that Hange would go to find answers among the working Marleyans of that place. Maybe something could be solved.

I was very wrong.

I rushed into the building, finding only a long entrance hall and a corridor that led to god knows where. No one was even around to see me panic and I didn't see a soul nearby either, the only thing if I could hear a heated discussion far away and heavy footsteps on the floor. I let myself be guided by the sound, running back to its origins and finding a bizarre and meaningless scene in front of my eyes.

The room that seemed to be the main one hosted the orphaned children of the Blouse farm as well as Sasha's parents, sad and anguished parents if I paid better attention. The children were just as sad, with tears in their eyes, especially Kaya; they were crying the same way as on the day Sasha's death was reported. They were cornered under a window all together, hugging each other and letting the rays of the sun streaming through the window illuminate their figures, as if those rays could replace the heat that Sasha had left behind.

That scene broke my still fragile heart. I would have liked to reach out to them and try to help them move on, as I would have liked to stay on the farm with them when we came back from Marley to help them get by; obviously I could never have replaced Sasha and they could never have replaced my family, but in these times of battle, what mattered most was healing the wounds between all of us.

I would have liked to talk to them, but my eyes shifted from the Blouse family to the figure of Hange carefully placing a child on the floor. The blond boy was very badly injured on the side of his head, he was bleeding and his clothes had stuck to his body due to the large amount of liquid that had flowed down his torso.

"Hange-san, Wha-" As I stared at the blond boy on the floor, I could see that he was one of the children who had sneaked into our war balloon.

“Isn't that one of the Marleyan children? Why is he here and why is he bleeding?"

Unconsciously my body leaned forward, resting on one knee on the ground and reaching out to the boy. My instincts as a doctor were screaming for me to tend to the poor injured boy regardless of his race and I was willing to do so.

"We will take care of him, go to the room continue with Mikasa and Armin"

I got up without hesitation, taking one last look at the room I was in and it was just at that moment that I recognized Nicolo and Jean in a corner away from everyone else. They both looked very distressed, but I didn't have the opportunity to ask why, they had given me an order and I had to carry it out. I would have to wait until got back to base to understand this terrible situation.

The room they sent me to was at the end of the corridor, the door was closed but every step I took I could hear the soft voices of Mikasa and Armin, apparently talking to someone else. Well, that conversation must have to get a pause because I was about to slam the door in and leave the doors wide open.

“What the hell is going on? Why is a Marleyan child unconscious in the kitchen?"

Upon entering, all excited, my eyes only saw the figures of Armin and Mikasa around a table. They both looked up at me in disbelief when they saw me standing on the threshold. For the second time that day, I looked back across the stage in front of me and spotted a small brown-haired figure sitting at the same table. With a little more attention, I saw that the small figure was trembling, perhaps from fear or from adrenaline, at the same time that its face was bruised and full of blood; and putting all my attention on that bloody face I realized that I recognized those eyes, those same eyes that I had looked at with contempt and had looked back at me with the same feeling the night of the invasion.

The missing girl from the Marleyan duo was sitting across from me staring with sheep's eyes.

All exaltation I had in my body dissipated, my gaze fell, leaving nothing more than a neutral countenance. But ... anyone who could see through my eyes, would know they reflected the fatigue and sadness of several accumulated days. Seeing the girl was perhaps a way of attaching all the harmful feelings in a single part of my body.

I let out a long sigh and closed the door slowly behind me. I walked slowly towards where the girl was, running Mikasa to the side and looked at her with the best possible adult countenance. She had a red nose, it looked like it had been hit right on her septum causing her to bleed and stain her dress, which I assumed was courtesy of the Blouse family. Her cheek was scratched and red too, traces of broken and inflamed skin could be seen around her wound, but without any bleeding. This girl would have a swollen face the next day if we don't give her some ice.

“You’re hurt. Care to explain me what happened?"

I reached my hand out to her, but was greeted with a flinch from her. I could tell she was scared and she had every right to be.Either way, way I brought my hand to her face, placing my index finger and thumb on her jaw to move her head and look for other injuries.

Her face was the one that received the most impact, nothing in her eyes which was a very good sign, and I didn’t notice any kind of fracture in the bones of her cheek or septum. Good. I looked around the room for something I could use, but I only found empty tables adorned with a classic tablecloth and a very well elaborated and cared wine cellar, apart from showing off one of the best wine collections in recent years.

"Armin, can you go get some alcohol to disinfect the wounds? Surely they have something in the kitchen "

The blonde gave me a slight nod and left the room, leaving me alone with Mikasa, who was absolved of the situation, but still maintaining an imposing posture. The girl was still shaking on my hand, so I pushed her away and inspected her body for more injuries.

The palms of her hands were stained with blood, I guessed from the bleeding from her nose, but they also had some slight scratches, perhaps she had fallen to the floor. Her dress didn’t seem torn in the area of the knees, so I assumed that they weren’t injured or it was a very slight scratch, almost no bleeding. Her arms seemed intact as did her torso. I turned to the back of her head, running her hair gently trying to find any trace of blow that could generate a contusion. I didn’t find anything that could be fatal or serious, but I did see something that caught my attention.

“You have marks on your head, diffuse, but they are there. What happened?"

"... A horse bit me"

Of all the situations that could have led to those brands, I didn't expect to hear this one. I didn’t expect it, not at all. It caught me off guard and I let out a giggle which I covered with the back of my hand.

"Sorry, shouldn't laugh… you deserve it thou" I gave her a little pat on the top of her head before ruffling it a bit and bending down to look into her eyes.

Armin returned to the room, alcohol in hand and a clean cloth. Thank God something was clean in this whole city, I was beginning to lose my faith in the cleanliness of this people. I reached for the items and I proceeded to apply a large amount of alcohol to the cloth and apply it first to the frightened girl's cheek.

"Why are you so good to me? I killed a one of your friends"

That comment made me stop for a second, just like I stopped looking at her wound. My gaze fell to the floor in search of an answer; I searched, searched and searched for answers to questions that didn’t have one or weren’t as simple as they seemed...or simply looked in the wrong places and the answers were always in my mind, only that my heart wasn’t prepared to face them.

"The girl you killed the night of the invasion was called Sasha Blouse and she was the best archer and sniper of the legion"

I turned my gaze to her, continuing to heal her wound on her cheek. When I saw that there was only a small pink stain left on the surface, I moistened the cloth further with alcohol and ran it under her nose, removing any trace of blood. The girl pulled back a bit when she felt it’s smell her nostrils and I had the opportunity to cover her nose for a few seconds to stop the bleeding.

"You know ... you remind me of a boy exactly like you"

When I saw that the bleeding stopped and the girl stopped moving due to the burning and itching that the alcohol was surely causing, I grabbed her hands and began to clean them with small touches avoiding tearing her skin.

“Just as intense and ready to fight for what he thinks is fair. You are just a little girl who was taught that we were the bad guys. It’s the way you were raised, the way you see the world. They taught us something else, but at the end of the day, apart from everything... we are the same"

It hurt. Yes, it hurt to see the one guilty of the death of my best friend, but it hurt more to see in her eyes the hatred and contempt they had taught her towards our race. The hate cycle we were getting into wasn't going to get us anywhere and it was better to nip it in the bud, even with baby steps.

When I finished cleaning all her wounds, I put the cloth on the table and looked at my performance with deep pride. It wasn't much, but it was enough; Not only had I cleaned a few simple wounds, but perhaps, I wished that perhaps, it would begin to heal her mind ... and mine as well.

I got up heavily, noticing how my knees creaked when squatting for a long time and I stretched my body generating more crunches, but noting at the same time how the heaviness of my back left and leave behind a much lighter load.

“Very good, you’ve been a good patient. Surely there is something sweet in the kitchen that I can give you” I patted her head again and gave her a sincere smile, one that I hadn't given anyone for quite a while. I headed to the door unconcerned about the situation I assumed was still going on in the main room.

"What's going to happen to Eren Jaeger?"

What will happen to him? And why does she ask me that?

"Don't worry, I'm not letting him put a finger on you" A sincere answer to a question asked out of fear. I reached the door and in the middle of the sentence I turned the knob wanting to make my way into the hall, but a tall figure blocked my way.

Eren was right on the threshold with the intention of opening it.

Well mark me impress

My body jerked back instinctively, avoiding taking my eyes off his. I moved to the right side, avoiding the figure of the Marleyan girl from being in Eren's point of view. I didn't know why he was here or if the others knew about it, but whatever the reason, he surely wasn’t alone and this wasn’t going to lead to anything good.

"Sit down"

He took a few steps forward, closing the door with his foot, not even paying attention to his surroundings, or maybe yes, now everything was a confusion when it came to the brunette in front of us.

"You can't tell me what to do" I planted myself in front of him, without taking a step back. We were both facing each other, him carrying me several inches tall, several dominating inches that made my legs shake and my heart race.

If it had been in any other situation, that trembling, that acceleration would have been very well received. It was impossible not to feel small next to Eren, the damn bastard had hit a big stretch and there was a great difference around the body between the two, a difference that I always loved to admire.

But not now. Not at this moment when everything was going to shit and I had to stand up to the figure of a little girl who was internally dying of fear thanks to him.

"Sit. Down"

Few centimeters separated us from each other, his chest too close to mine, I could feel how it swelled with each breath. He raised his hand to my face, letting me see his cut palm and dripping blood. Fear took hold of me, making me stand even more in my position, but I wasn’t going to give in so easily.

"You wouldn't" I looked him in the eye, defiant, longed for and everything in between.

"Try me"

It was all he said before grabbing onto my shoulders and pulling me back. My body collided with the table and instinctively I placed my hands on it. I heard how Armin and Mikasa tried to get closer to where we were, but a single glance from Eren made them stay still, submissive, as they lost in their positions. His gaze returned to mine. My breath hitched and I had to avoid with all my might thinking about the position we were entwined.

It wasn’t the time to think about how my hips were slightly elevated, just my butt up on the table and one leg dangling, his knee between my legs, preventing me from closing them and keeping the leg that was hanging in the air. His gaze wandered between our bodies and he returned to my eyes. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and pushed me to the side of the table, dropping me onto the chair next to the girl.

"I said. Sit. Down"

He took his hands off my shoulders, took the seat next to me and Armin and Mikasa sat with him, leaving an air of discomfort and tension in the environment.

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#aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren smut #when the world falls apart

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arllenn · 3 years

Text

image des: I really loved the fact that your brought their past into the light, that you made them actually effected and reflected on it. So often I just see stories focusing on their relationship with the "new" characters (Caesar, Luminous, Johann, The Gen fam) so following that line of thought.

Can I request a flashback scene? Like when we get requested to make it snow (at the beginning of the game) the group of friends reaction to it snowing makes you reflected on your past. In which a fluffy meeting/promise happens between Z, Renata and you. Or even any fluff you can think of between the three? It can be when they were kids or the age they were at during the game.

Admittedly I would love it if you can really focus on Z and the Character interaction/relationship because we all know he cares for Renata; they have that slacker x mother hen childhood friend vibe going on. But the idea that Z and you are ACTUALLY close (it just LOOKS like your friends with Renata and only friendly acquaintances with Z from the outside) makes me happy and bittersweet.

Sorry this got so long!

Tags for this chapter: fluff, hurt no comfort, bittersweetness, pure angst at first tho Tw: mentions of death and cannon typical violence, puke, death Time setting: pre japan like imagine if the mc got an adjustment period at cassell before they got shipped off to dragon war

You smiled happy to be of help to the friends who were separating today. Their cheerful giggles and cries of happiness as they raved over being able to leave on a snowy day just like the one from when they had met made your insides bubble with warmth and nostalgia. Z, Renata and you had been the same once..... before, before Herzog had...

You shake your head, now isn't the time for this. You wring your wrists, it's a habit you picked up from Z, though you two do it for different reasons. You feel a bit light headed, your knees are weak, it's so weird to see snow and not see your beloved friends among it. It just felt wrong to not feel their warmth around you in this cold tempature. The others giggling is getting too loud, it's beggining to ring in your ears and bounce around in your head at the same time as the memories of Renata and Z pour out of your head and spill in front of your eyes. You stiffly walk over to Claudia, left foot, left hand, right foot, right hand. Back and forth back and forth. You want to leave, but it’d feel wrong just going without checking with her.

“We met and departed on a snowy day.” She sounds so happy and while you’re glad that you were able to help them you also can’t help but feel cloying jealousy at the fact that this trio, Claudia, Susu and Leah get to be together, to meet and depart on snowy days filled with joy, while you can’t. You want to be able to see Z and Renata, you want to be able to tease them while jumping for joy and promising to stay in contact. You want to be able to send them off with a smile on your face and a promise to be well.

But you can’t.

And that’s it.

There’s no going back and searching, there’s no making up after an argument, there’s just nothing. Renata is dead Z is dead everyone is dead! And you can’t do anything about it.

Staggering away you start walking towards one of the benches in the courtyard that face the library. To say that you collapse on it would be an understatement. It’s like all the bones in your body liquified then disappeared at that moment. You clench at the snow on the bench, using the all too familiar feeling of it to guide you through your memories. The day you arrived at the orphanage, the first time you met Renata, Z and you arguing over who would get to hold which of Renata’s hands, the day Vera had arrived, so small and only a year old. You remembered her small finger curling around your own while Z helped you readjust how you held her.

Just Renata, Z and you.

But now it’s just you. You clench at your throat, clawing at it as if that’ll destroy the lump forming in it. You bring your knees up to meet with your chest. Burying your head in your arms. It hurts, you want to see them. At this point you’d even take Anton and Khorkina’s belittling of you or even Ivan and Sherkman failing horribly to hide the fact that they were dating over anything else that could possibly occur right now.

Rubbing your face on your knees you try to get rid of the few silent tears that have begun to spill. It doesn’t work, in fact it just makes everything so, so much worse. Memories of your childhood fly by, you’re loosing your grip on reality you know that. You don’t want to do it here. Not on a bench where anyone can see, if you’re completely honest you don’t want to confront them at all. But that isn’t an option, it’s never going to be an option for you, because you’re trying so hard to push them down and stamp them out right now. And it’s not working.

One of the wandering vending machines come up to you, clawed arm holding something in it. You can't see it at all, your line of sight only contains your legs after all, but you can hear the distinctive beeps of the machine, the whirring of its mechanical organs that allow it to move. You can feel the jagged edges of a wrapper lightly scratching at your leg through your uniform. The robot beeps twice shoving the snack into your leg once again before dropping it and skittering off. Lifting your head up you stared down at the snack you had been left with. Maybe the world really does hate you. Maybe you deserve to constantly have your mind ripped at and heart torn apart, because laying there in front of you is a cookie a chocolate chip one at that. The second your eyes land on the bubbly font that spells out chocolate you cant help but watch in horror as Vera falls in front of you, mere feet away, body still warm as she hits the snow, dead. You feel the bile rise in your throat, it isn't something that you can just swallow down either. Hand clapped over your mouth you stand, getting ready to run.

-----------------------------

You have no idea how you've made it back to your dorm room without puking on the way here, but now you're sitting over your toilet dry heaving into it. You stare down at the item that made you like this the choco- you spit into the toilet. Cookie, you'll just refer to it as a cookie. You consider tearing off the top half of the wrapper but then the smell of the cookie and the chocolate might just tip you over the edge. Instead you settle for smacking it away from you. In some small way it makes you feel better.

You hate that Herzog has ruined this for you. You hate that you can’t even see the word chocolate without feeling your insides churn, you hate that you can’t see snow without seeing your friends bloodied corpses staring back at you, eyes glassy and unfocused. Cookies were the first dessert that you had ever tasted and the last one. You remember the day you had first tried to bake them.

That day Z had let you in his room, Renata was sick, and neither of you were allowed to be around her as per Herzogs orders. With the knowledge that you have now you think you understand why you weren’t allowed to see her back then. Rather than actually being ill Renata was probably suffering from the side effects of the incomplete evolution pills. But either way natural disease or not it had been just you and Z. Sitting side by side on his bed, you laying with your torso hanging off his bed partially, practically upside down, and him crisscross leaned up against the wall that his bed bordered, a hand close enough to your leg to catch you if you started to slip. You two had been mindlessly talking, reading some book that you’ve forgotten the name of now, alternating turns each chapter. When you had gotten to a part where the main character was making cookies for their friend as a get well gift.

“Hey Z, have you ever had a cookie? I mean I’ve heard of them but I’ve never even seen one.”

“I can’t say that I have,” he yawned, “I’m not a big fan of sugar in general. That combined with the fact that the orphanage doesn’t even get the ingredients for them makes it obvious that I’d never even have the chance to try them, same as you.”

“That’s too bad, based on the description I think they’d be pretty good. You think Renata has ever had one?”

“I’m not her, I wouldn’t know.”

“I mean fair enough, but I kinda expected that you would, you guys spend forever having those late night talks after you send me to bed.”

You haul yourself up and spin on your ass so that you’re looking him in the eye, “Speaking of~, I won’t allow you to marry my daughter young man!” You cross your arms in an ‘X’ in front of you shaking your head. “Absolutely not don’t think I’ll allow anything of the sort!!”

Snorting he had pushed on your forehead with his finger until you were laying down the same as before and used his foot to roll you away from him. “2/10, If you’re going to give me a shovel talk then you should at least be intimidating, 1, and 2 you should do it in front of Renata so that you can embarrass her, who just gives that kinda talk straight to the supposed,” he raised his hands and gave out finger quotations “boyfriend?”

“Is that back talk I hear sonny? Don’t make me get up there!”

”Yeah because you haven’t already.” You can’t see him from your position but you can hear the smile on his voice. An accomplishment if you’ve ever seen one! You mean the stoic eternally tired Z was snorting and smiling because of what you said! You always loved times like this, when you would manage to break through his exterior and draw out a reaction, (preferably positive!!), out of him. Tapping his knee you grip onto his leg to pull yourself up once more, you can see him contemplating rolling you off the bed, thankfully he chooses peace for once.

”No okay but dead seriously, let’s go make cookies for Renata. We just got the shipments a little while ago, there’s got to be some of the stuff we need in there! We’ll just ask Herzog,”

“Or steal”

“Yes, or steal, come on it’ll be great!”

“Normally Renata would be here to stop you, which I am always grateful for since it means that I don’t have to be the one to talk you out of these things,”

You snap your fingers, “Speed it up Z, do I have a partner or am I gonna have to start running before you catch me?”

He claps a hand over your mouth which you look down at “Don’t you dare lick me,” is what he says in response to your stares. “As I was saying before someone cut me off,” if gives you a pointed stare, “Normally Renata would be here to be the voice of reason, however since she’s ‘sick’ and I don’t want to have her on my neck about you getting in trouble later here are my words of caution,” He takes his hand off your mouth and pats slaps your cheek twice before bringing the tips of his fingers in between the book page that you had been on and the next, folding it over and closing it. “Don’t, and if you do don’t get caught.”

It was your turn to snort, “What the heck, you suggested stealing in the first place!” You laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and set the book down on his bedside table getting up off the bed and bringing his arms above his head to stretch.

”I never said that we weren’t going to steal if that’s what you decide to do I simply offered you a word of advice about you stealing alone.

”AWWWW Z I knew there was a reason I put up with you!” You cried jumping up off the bed and attempting to latch onto his back,

He turned to face you swatting your hands away, muttering about you being “too big for him to carry like that anymore”

“What was that!?”

He pinched your cheek with one hand and used the other to ruffle your hair in a way that you knew wasn’t meant to be affectionate but instead to mess it up. “Look at how big the babies gotten! It can walk and talk now! Go ahead say ‘papa’ again!” You knew that you could never win against Z in a fight, all attempts left you on the floor with him sitting on you, or you hiding behind Renata and you exercising your lying and puppy dog eyes abilities. But boy oh boy did Z have a way of activating your Cain instinct and making you want to slap the shit out of him (affectionately of course). You heaved out a long suffering groan, and pulled Z’s hands off of you. You walked over to where his dresser was and sucked your teeth as you stared at your reflection. You tried your best to undo his damage to your hair, but it was a lost cause, hanging your head you turned to him with what you hoped was a horrifying, knee shaking, earth quaking, chicken baking, glare.

“This is why you’re an orphan.”

“Fair enough.” He said with a shrug before motioning towards the door, are we leaving now or what.”

“I’m coming, we’re going.” You said waving your hand at him in a shooing motion.

The minute you stepped outside it had been like you were ass blasted into one of the shipment containers mega freezers. You rubbed at your arms, lamenting the fact that you lived on a hunk of ice in the middle of a polar bears ass cheeks. “Okaaay so,” you clapped your hands together, “Do we know where Herzog is?” Z yawned and shook his head no from beside you. “Alright thank you for your participation! Gold star! I’ll go ask Anton, you stay here. And don’t fall asleep!” You ran off to go find Anton ignoring Z’s comment about you acting like a stray dog.

Heaving you clutched at the toilet, sobbing over the loss of your friends. You couldn’t even think of the times back then as being over, you just can’t.

No, that’s not right, you know they’re over, you know those peaceful days of snow and teasing are over. And yet you still long for them, you want to feel Z’s hands in your hair once more, want to feel the thrill of catching him off guard and running to hide behind Renata. You want back the times that you had spent, absorbed in watching Vera as she took her first steps, your young self amazed that anyone could ever be so small. You miss those moments when you seriously contemplated smashing Antons face into the ice under your feet, missed the random times when Ivan would pull you away to look at something cool that he had found. You just missed being homeyou miss the safe feeling that you had been provided with daily back then. Ignorance truly is bliss you suppose. If you had survived not knowing about what Herzog had done, if you survived thinking that all of this was just some randoms attack on you and your family would you have been happier? It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.

You dry heave and spit into the toilet, bile rising in your throat but not to the point in which it would spill past your lips. Your vision is blurry from the tears and your head throbs with the pain of the pressure your tears are both building up and releasing. “I wanna go home…” you mumble slowly laying yourself down on the floor, hands clutched into your hair, fingers threading themselves in with the strands and pulling at them like a tide. You would yank at your hair then let it all fall out of your grip, massaging your scalp slightly, and then yanking at it again. You continued in this way as the blurry memory of that day played in front of you. Anton being no help, Khorkina doing her best to goad you into punching her, Ivan being somewhere that you swear was unreasonably high up. Eventually finding Herzog and asking him, him granting you permission as long as you cleaned up after yourselves, running back to Z with the good news.

“Z! Z! Listen to this!” He looked up at you from his spot on the stairs, clearly bored out of his mind, but hey at least he hadn’t fallen asleep like you asked!

He made a twirling motion with his hand “What is it?”

You placed your hands on your hips and grinned, “Herzog says we can use the stuff in the kitchen as long as we clean up afterwards!” You gave an overzealous thumbs up afterwards to make your point even clearer.

“That’s great!” He said all too sarcastically. Getting up he put both hands on your shoulders resting all of his weight on them before finally standing up straight shushing you and your whining.

It hurry you so much to know that everyone is gone. It hurts to know that you’ll never get that chance to just see them again, to hear their voices, catch a glimpse of them on the street. Instead they’re all dead and there’s nothing that you can do about it. You had watched everyone die, you had seen their eyes glaze over and go out of focus. You had seen how their blood stained the pure white snow a bright and somber red. You had run past them as you registered them as dead, praying to nothing but everything at the same time that at least one of them would live. That you would get to hold at least one of them in your arms as you two promised to stay with each other. But you didn’t get that. Instead you got to watch as Renata faded into the distance, your last hope, you got to claw through icy waters, pleading your legs to move, to allow you to save your dearest friend….

”Z, Z, Z! Help me I have no idea why the egg keeps cracking like that!”

“Maybe it’s cracking like that because you keep squeezing them until they explode.”

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me young man! I’ll have you know that Dr.Herzog says that I’ve made great progress in my home economics studies.” You proudly bumped your chest with your fist only to look down and see your uniform covered in egg goop. Z snickered before handing you a rag and motioning for you to hand him the bowl and the eggs. You slid it over to him with your elbow and focused on cleaning your hands and uniform up.

”Here,” he held up one of the eggs,”I’ll show you how to crack an egg, so that you don't end up wasting all of them.” He hit it lightly on the edge of the bowl, holding both ends of the egg with his fingers and pulling his palm so that the egg slowly slipped out of the shell before proceeding to throw the shell somewhere off to the side of him. He pushed the bowl back towards you with a smug look on his face. "You get it now?"

"Yep, yep, yep," you waved your hand at him dismissively before turning back to the book. "Okay so now we mix wet ingredients and dry, then we add in the chocolate." Getting the chocolate for the recipe had been the hardest part. With how rare chocolate is at the orphanage and the fact that you weren't allowed into your room because of how sick Renata was it had been hard to find any. Eventually after bribing Z and way too much effort on your part, you had ended up on Z's shoulders searching through the backs of the older and dustier cabinets, in one of which you had found a chocolate bar that was a week off from its expiration date. Not the best but it could've been 10 times worse you suppose. Z pushed the chocolate towards you with this hand before resting his head on his hand.

"So how much longer do we have? It's getting late." Z stifled a yawn.

You glanced at the book and back down at the cookie batter that you were currently scooping out and onto the baking sheet. They didn't hold their shape as well as the book described them as being able to but you supposed that it was just a matter of reality vs. idealized fiction. "Um I don't know. The book says that they need 25 minutes to bake properly and who knows how long its going to take to clean this all up."

"Well good luck with that." He said slapping his hand down on the table, turning around on his stool, and standing up.

Even if it was just the memory of the sound, the slapping of Z's hand on the table sent a wave of nausea scorching through your body. Everything was a blur, reality, what you were really seeing, cold white tile and the rug in front of the shower were blending together with the cold white of snow, the rug that was in you and Renata's cabin. You felt hands on your face, were they from the memory of Renata checking your temperature or were they your own? Your vision was swimming, you were underwater, you were lying on the bathroom floor. You were drowning, you're lying on the bathroom floor. You're dying, you can't see.

You clamored up in a haze, you have to run! You have to get to Renata and Vera and Anton and and and and! And you slam into a desk that was out in the middle of Hezog's lab. Z is right there, Renata is right there, Vera is right there! All you need to do is reach out a little further and you'll be there! You'll be able to save them! You finally latch onto Z's uniform begging him not to go, begging him to stay with you, because if you go alone then everyone will die. "PLEASE Z!" You yell out. "I need you, I need you, I need you, everyone's dying, dead, dying dead, dying, dead, I can't save them! PLEASE!" And then the Z you're holding onto collapses, leaving nothing but a pile of clothes behind. His uniform lies bloodied in your hands. Renata lies bloodied in your hands. Anton lies just out of reach, dead. "Come back, please." You clutch onto Z's uniform harder. The tears don't falter as you trace your hands along the sleeves of the uniform. "The sleeves are too short you should get Herzog to make you a new one." You chuckle fondly. only...

Only...

Only the uniform has too many mistakes for it to have ever been Z's, theres too big a difference in size. It doesn't smell the same. It's not his... it's yours. You're not at the orphanage, you're in your dorm at Cassel. You're sitting on hardwood floors right now, not the powdery snowfall of home. Its warm, not cold, theres no dead bodies, only you and the mess that you made when you stormed through here earlier. You choke on a sob, tears coming down in even thicker streams, your headache had bloomed into a splendid migraine. You can barely see straight, but you know for sure that this isn't anywhere near, by or in the orphanage. And it can never be. The orphanage is gone now. Everyone's bodies are probably still lying on top of the snow, glassy eyes unfocused and unseeing, faces twisted in fear. Or maybe they've been charred to ashes, with nothing left to remember them by, their remains carried by the winds or at the bottom of the sea. You clutch your uniform tighter, biting down on it to muffle your screams and sobbing.

You have no idea how long you've been here. Your tears have faded now, only leaving the uncomfortable burning of the dried tear tracks in their memory. You don't stare at anything in particular, theres nothing left of your emotions, just the dull ache of apathy. Your vision is spotted with dancing black circles and lines. They look a bit like what you imagine TV static would look like but you really have no idea. Your conscious waves and ebbs like the tides from back home. You can't think of anything other than the feeling of the cloth clutched in your embrace right now. Sighing you bury your face in it, resigning yourself to a night on the floor.

#dragon raja #zero dragon raja #dragon raja mc #z dragon raja #Dragon raja herzog #fanfic #dragon raja fanfic #Writing #angst #hurt no comfort #fluff #I suck at tagging

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chidoroki · 3 years

Text

Norman - 22194

March 21st is here and it’s time for yet another birthday post. I already rambled on about Emma and Ray on their special days, so now it’s finally time to complete this full-score tradition with Norman. It might not be as detailed or long as the other two, since he was absent for a good chunk of the story, but it doesn’t make him any less important! I’ll be honest now, the boy isn’t my favorite character (he doesn’t place anywhere in my top ten for this series either) so I probably missed some moments worth mentioning but I did my best to praise this child anyway!

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m once again going from start to finish with this.)

Since I want to stay consistent with the other two posts, this will focus on the manga timeline, as season 2 is, well.. it’s own thing. I’ll mention some things but don’t count on much. With that, let’s go.

- He achieves a perfect score on Grace Field’s daily tests, alongside Emma and Ray.

- He is, without a doubt, the smartest kid the house has ever seen, as he passes each test flawlessly and has maintained a 300 average.

- He’s a complete strategist who is capable of achieving victory (even in something simple as tag) by observing his opponents moves and analyzing their weaknesses in order to counter.

- Knows how to pick locks. The scene from ch1 was left out but we see him doing so later on in ep02.

- Stays relatively positive and calm after learning about the truth of the farm.

- Even going as far as giving Emma a reassuring smile, which I think is impressive given the literal nightmare fuel they’ve just witnessed.

- I’m giving him half credit for suggesting the idea of there being tracking devices, since anime has him reveal this possibility while in manga it’s Emma.

- Both of them realize what determines the shipping order and that the demons favor their brains.

- This silly panel that I love dearly.

- Made sure to do a sweep of the entire house beforehand to make sure their escape planning doesn’t get pick up on.

- Figures out that Isabella only knows the children’s locations when she checks the tracker and that it can’t identify who is who.

- Has the nerve to lie right to Isabella’s face.. not that she believes it, but still gutsy nonetheless.

- Knowing the house probably wouldn’t have any rope, it was his idea to use the spare tablecloths.

- Had a feeling that Ray would reveal the harsh reality of how dangerous it would be to escape with all the children, which turns out to be correct.

- His laugh in ep02 is so precious.

- This statement being 100% accurate.

- Manages to convince the logical Ray, who we know now has spent many years coming up with a solid, safer escape plan, to join in and assist with their crazy and reckless plan instead. Having Ray on their side also grants them many advantages.

- Absolutely hates to lose, which is a good mentality to have in a world where your life is a stake and your time is limited, which eventually leads him to consider every possible opportunity to stay ahead of his enemies throughout the remainder of the story.

- Realizes that the trackers must only send out a signal upon being broken, which we found out to be true in Ray’s one-shot chapter.

- - Him looking completely terrified in this panel.

- He managed to catch all the Grace Field kids in a game of tag even after they received advice from Ray about how to survive longer.

- The goddamn intimidating energy he gives off here is fantastic.

- Despite his body being physically weak, he manages to survive and win against Krone during their game of tag.

- Just like Ray some couple chapters ago, Norman is completely serious about this idea.

- Suspects there’s a traitor among the kids and swiftly comes up with a plan to lure them out.

- This panel of him “dead” from the first side story.

- He has a feeling the spy is Ray, so he moves up the day of the escape to catch him off guard and send him into a panic.

- Even though the anime didn’t include it, he managed to throw off Krone as well with some fake footprints to keep her off their backs.

- Was honestly considering on leaving the spy behind while the rest of them escaped, though he doesn’t seem real happy about the idea, considering the traitor is Ray.

- His plan on fishing out the spy was flawless as he finally calls Ray out by revealing that the information he gave about the ropes and where he hid them were fake locations.

- Not only was Ray the first one Norman suspected, but he caught onto him way back when Krone first came to the house. All the information Ray was feeding them helped Norman come to this conclusion as well.

- Along with Emma’s words about believing that no one in their family is truly bad, Norman refrains from cutting Ray off to allow him to become their trump card. This was a risky move itself, knowing Ray could sell both him & Emma out at any time. Norman tends to prioritize victory, so while staying alive is absolutely necessary and that could’ve been achieved without Ray (as he could’ve just used Ray then ditch him later), he still decides to make the offer as realizes that in order defeat Isabella, Ray’s full cooperation is essential.

- Realizes that it was Ray who hid Little Bunny in the first place and lead Norman and Emma to investigate the gate that night, which leads him to believe that Ray isn’t really an enemy.

- He’s also left handed. Yes, that’s important. Not only for later in the story but because we’re superior. I’m sorry y’all had to find out this way.

- This stupid, little face he makes.

- Suspects that Ray doesn’t actually plan on escaping at all and intends to kill himself.

- Just like Emma and Ray, Norman also recognizes and understands morse code.

- Look at this precious child, not even angry after getting punched and knocked over. (because i certainly would be)

- Finds Ray’s hidden supply of oil which confirms the method for his future suicide. This also helps Norman later on when he comes up with a refined escape plan by using the fire Ray plans to start.

- Figures out Krone’s true intention about why she wants to join forces with the kids in the first place.

- He ends up accepting Krone’s offer anyway, because despite the large risk, any information that can snag out of her would benefit them.

- You mad lad, look at you, taunting the bringer of death yet again while a smile on your face.

- And he still manages to find some strength to smile while upon death’s door.

- Not for long though, as once he’s given the chance to be alone, he finally breaks down. Having the cup overflow with water really helps demonstrate how impactful the thought of dying hit him as Norman was overcome with so many emotions that he didn’t even have the strength to hold onto the cup or his facade. It’s then he starts to feel scared and sorry for himself but away from Emma and Ray’s eyes as to not worry them.

- His entire internal monologue as he comes to terms with his unfortunate situation and flips back to his determined “I can’t lose” attitude to help everyone else escape. Also, his theme ‘22194’ hits especially hard.

- For someone with weak, physical abilities, he manages to climb the wall on his own.

- Though the cliff stopped his escape, he used that opportunity to survey the surrounding area of the entire farm to rely his findings to the duo and provide them a safer escape route.

- Completely adamant about his decision to accept his shipment in order to give the rest of his family a chance to escape. (hell, id’ be terrified right now)

- This hug that is sure to break everyone’s hearts.

- Quick to react to Emma’s last ditch effort and prevented her from slamming her already busted up leg into the ground.

- Not only did he predict that Ray would start a fire to distract Isabella and on which day, he also left behind the pen and key he received from Krone along with a new, detailed plan (which he managed to come up with in only a few hours by the way) that would allow the kids to cross over the cliff.

(post season one spoilers below. again, focusing on the manga timeline, so any new season 2 events will be mentioned sparingly.)

- Like Ray, Norman was able to figure out how the pen worked well enough to see Minerva’s message regarding B06-32.

- Since he doesn’t show up again for quite some time post-escape, there isn’t much to talk about.. but at least I can make fun of him thanks to extra pages, like how he wouldn’t have enough strength to use a bow.

- But hey, props to s2ep10 for actually giving us Norman shooting an arrow. He was pretty decent with it too, as he hit his target on the first try behind a darn smokescreen. The manga did show him holding a bow in ch161, but that’s it.

- Not relevant to the actual story at all, but his smarts certainly make anything possible.

- I’m sorry but these tiny failures of his bring me great joy.

- Though the tests at Lambda are harder than those at Grace Field, Norman still managed to get every question correct. Every single day he was there. Even when the facility manages to increase the difficulty of the tests, he continues to pass each one with flying colors.

- Since he noticed someone who’s right handed also takes the same tests he does, he makes an attempt to communicate with them via a Rubik’s cube. He waits patiently for five months until he finally gets a response from Vincent around Christmas 2046.

- Dealt with the experiments/drugs that were forced onto him and the seizures that resulted from them.

- Even with the tight security and surveillance, he somehow acquired explosives and successfully blow up Lambda and escapes with the survivors.

- Again, not significant to the story, but seriously dude? You just fainted and yet you still get this crazy question right effortlessly?

(post time-skip)

- Contacts Lucas moments before the B06-32 shelter gets blown up and gives him the numeric code that eventually leads Emma’s group to the “Jaw of Lion.”

- Destroyed numerous mass production farms since his escape from Lambda.

- As well as save countless children from other farms and used the Paradise shelter found by Smee’s network to give them a sense of safety and taste of a normal life.

- The darn glow-up he receives, like sweet lord child, are you sure you’re still 13??

- - His cute, squishy cheeks though!

- He may look like he’s in his thirties, but still has the strength of a child. (see anime? this is how strong ray’s slap should have been!)

- Learned a great deal of demon history and gave that lengthy lesson about the demon’s genetics and how they inherit the characteristics of whatever they eat and evolve accordingly.

- With Emma’s wish about saving everyone and lively happily still on his mind, he thought of a safe and certain method in order to create such a future for all the children raised as food.. which ends up being complete extermination of all the demons caused by a civil war. His plan also includes ending the Ratri clan as well. How cheerful.

- Are you surprised to learn that Norman getting tackled by the younger kids is my favorite panel of him?

- You weak, little bean, I’m sorry I enjoy making fun of you so much.

- Successfully forms an alliance with Lord Geelan and his clan by offering revenge on the royal family, the five regent houses, as well as the Ratri clan, thus putting Geelan in full control. In return, it would grant Norman the full release of farm children, permission to self-govern and some much needed power in terms of demon strength.

- He knows full well that the entire alliance is a lie and both parties are only using each other, though in works in his favor, as it will send the demons to destroy each other without the lose of any human lives.

- This absolute powerful panel that the anime decided “nah, we’re gonna change this too” because they’re cowards.

- Narrowed down possible locations on where to find Sonju and Mujika. Sure it was with the intention of killing our demon friends but his map was accurate.

- Survived who knows long with his seizures at level 4, and because of his severe condition, he’s completely set on following through his plan and succeeding before his time runs out.

- Seems to enjoy blowing stuff up, such as the imperial city’s bridges to send the place into a panic and trap all the citizens.

- Advised the Lambda crew on how to effectively fight against the queen by attacking relentlessly.

- Let loose a poison that causes not only normal demons to degenerate, but the royal family as well, such as the five regent heads and the queen who’s name is too long and complicated for me to ever remember, who all have the cursed blood. (at least that’s how effective it was in manga, in anime it did absolutely nothing to vylk)

- He somehow managed to learn, speak and understand the demon language, which, according to Shirai (vol16 author notes), is actually an uncommon language nowadays. (and we’ll unfortunately never know how this language actually sounds, thank anime..)

- Do I even praise him for killing a demon and well.. all this? Sure in the anime he tried killing Vylk, but old demon was fair more innocent compared to the royal family, so I have no idea.

- I will give season 2 some credit and say I prefer their take on the “right now you look like a small child, shaking with fear” panel.

- But not too much credit, as they didn’t give us the full trio hug as the manga did!

- Then again the anime did have him about to apologize to Vylk and Demon Emma for his actions, which is something, I suppose? since in ch154 he says he didn’t regret killing the queen and royals, which I guess is justified because they were the bigger problem, but oh well.

- Might have apologized to Ayshe for killing her father? Can’t be sure but that’s the unanimous consensus in the fandom right?

- Instantly comes up with counter moves and directions for the entire group upon hearing the enemies locations from Vincent during the GF raid.

- I honestly can’t look at this panel anymore and not laugh about it.. because reasons.

- He just keeps on winning. (also he looks real good here, i’ll give him that.)

- He and everyone else are skeptical about there being no “reward,” and for rightfully so.

- Upon learning that Emma is missing after everyone crossed over to the human world, they all adopt her optimistic attitude and swear to find her no matter where she might be.

- After a stressful two year search, the kids finally find Emma and Norman is so overcome with emotion that he busts out into tears of joy, despite finding out that she lost her memories due to the reward. All that matters to him is that Emma was safe and happy and he accepts her just the way she is.

And I guess.. that’s it. I’m sorry again, I know this is truly the weakest post out of the trio and I have no doubt I glanced over a whole bunch of great moments but it still had to be done! Making fun of him probably wasn’t the best thing to do on his special day either, but I assure you this child is very powerful. Who else do you know that is capable of sending an entire fandom into a panic and rage furiously by just simply showing up?

Ah ha okay, now I’m done. In all seriousness though, this lad is great and through everything he has endured, he definitely deserves to be celebrated today, so happy birthday to our boy Norman!

#the promised neverland #norman #tpn norman #tpn manga #tpn anime #chidoroki used chatter

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deobienthusiast · 4 years

Text

young, dumb, and rich

• pairing: kim sunwoo (the boyz) x reader ft. eric sohn

• word count: 2,426 words

• genre: bad boy!sunwoo, rich boy!sunwoo, rich!reader, popular!reader, fluff, tiny bit of angst

• warnings: suggestive at times, snobbish sunwoo

• notes: i liked this request a lot. if sunwoo had the chance to act out a character like this, i think he’d do really well (also this is coming out after i found out i hit 300 followers! thanks so much for that🤩☺️🥳)

• requested: yes | no by anon

There was always a stigma around being the rich kid. Everyone had their own opinions about being rich. Some thought it would be a blessing to be rich, while others believe that being rich makes you a snob. You didn’t want to be known as the snobby rich kid. Your parents raised you better than that, so you made sure to live up to how they raised you. You got along with everyone, and you had a lot of friends.

You also had a tinge of a thing for the risky side. You had perhaps the biggest crush on your school’s biggest personality, Kim Sunwoo. Sunwoo wasn’t the most likeable kid on the block. Like you, he was born into a wealthy family. Unlike you, he liked to use that to his advantage. He loved to show off and use his wealth to make friends, but it made him more enemies than anything. Not that Sunwoo minded, but he would always hope that it never ran you off. Unbeknownst to you, he felt just as strongly for you as you did for him.

“Stop staring at him!” You heard someone say as everyone got settled into their seats before class.

You turned to the voice and came face to face with your best friend and, of course, Sunwoo’s best friend, Eric Sohn.

“Why are you bothering me, Eric?” You asked the boy, eyeing him this time.

Eric grinned. “Oh come on, you love me.”

You fought back the small grin appearing on your face as Eric laughed. You rolled your eyes slightly before bringing them back to the dark-haired male sitting on the other side of the room.

“You know, if you just tell him how you feel then this whole little cat and mouse game will go much easier.” Eric whispered.

You shook your head. “Why would I set myself up for that type of embarrassment?”

He snorted. “Is it really embarrassing if he likes you back?”

It was your turn to snort as the teacher walked through the door. Eric gave you a little look before hopping up from the seat he was in and heading to sit with his best friend, preparing to give Sunwoo the same little “peptalk” he had given you.

“Alright students, I have the results of your previous exams. Some of you did very well, others, not so much. These will be representative on your final grades at the end of the year, so I suggest that the ones who didn’t do too well, start being perfect from here on out.” The teacher said as he handed out the scores to everyone.

A quiet scoff was heard from across the room and you smiled to yourself, knowing exactly who it was coming from.

“Is something wrong Mr. Kim?” The teacher asked, calling out Sunwoo.

All the attention turned to the cocky boy sitting by the door as he shook his head with a confident smile. “Not at all. Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

The teacher eyed him for a moment before nodding as he continued handing out the test scores. You got your paper as you looked over the typed out black font. The score you saw made you smile, you passed. Looking at the rank on the paper you noticed there was a score above yours. You knew exactly who it was. You looked over at his side of the room, seeing him staring right back at you.

“Good job.” He mouthed.

You smiled. “Thank you.”

He gave you a smile from across the room before feeling a tap on his shoulder. “Dear lord, just tell her how you feel?”

Sunwoo kept his eyes on you as he shook his head. “No way.”

“Why not?” Eric asked the boy.

Sunwoo turned himself around in his chair to look at his best friend. The blonde streaks in Eric’s hair catching Sunwoo’s eyes as he spoke.

“Eric, she doesn’t like me. She just sees me the same way the rest of the school sees me. A snobby rich kid who gets away with everything.” Sunwoo said with a sigh.

He heard Eric snicker as he narrowed his eyes. “What’s so funny?”

Eric shrugged. “I mean, isn’t that what you are?”

Sunwoo punched Eric’s arm as he let a smile fall on his face. “As my best friend, you’re not supposed to agree with the crowd.”

The teacher went on and on as he gave the class a lecture about your next assignment. When the bell rang to dismiss class, Sunwoo watched the numerous people that stopped by your desk to congratulate you on your score, or just to stop and talk to you. He admired that about you. He sometimes wished he didn’t have this awful snob attitude, but he knew that he made up that image himself, so he had to deal with it.

You headed towards the door before stopping in front of the two boys.

“So Sunwoo, how much did you pay the teacher so you could pass the exam?” You asked in a teasing tone.

Despite his clear knowledge that you were joking, Sunwoo knew that in the back of everyone else’s minds they were thinking the same statement in a more serious mindset.

“How much do you think?” Sunwoo teased back, causing you to laugh.

You threw your head back to let out that beautiful laugh that Sunwoo had absolutely fallen in love with throughout the years. He just thought it was the most amazing sound in the world.

“Hey, why don’t you join us for lunch?” Eric suddenly asked, making Sunwoo freeze.

Sunwoo turned to Eric, ready to punch him in the face before hearing your voice.

“I’d love to. That is if Sunwoo is okay with it?” You asked softly, feeling your heartbeat out of your chest as you awaited the answer.

The boy tore his gaze off of his best friend as he nodded immediately. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s perfect!”

Eric smirked at both of you as he pushed through the two of you towards the door. “I’ll meet you guys at lunch. I need to find someone first.”

He rushed out of the classroom as you turned to Sunwoo. You went to speak before someone beat you to it.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” You both heard someone say as Sunwoo’s head followed the voice.

A tall boy that was younger than you both said softly.

“Jisung, what’s up?” Sunwoo suddenly asked.

You stepped aside to let the two boys talk before being pulled away by a friend of yours. She walked with you to your locker before looking at you.

“I don’t get why you like him. He’s so rude.” She said.

You smiled to yourself as you laid your books inside the metal walls of your locker. “He’s not, though. Sunwoo is so sweet.”

Your friend sighed. “He paid the teacher so he could pass the exam.”

You shrugged. “To each his own.”

She snorted. “You have a weird taste in guys.

This caused you to laugh as you closed your locker. “You just have to get to know him better, that’s all.”

You both walked to the lunch room as you headed towards the table Eric was already seated at with a plate full of food in front of him. With him was another boy that you didn’t know as you looked around for Sunwoo. Eric waved you over before pulling you down into the seat next to him. This gave you a good look at the boy sitting across from you as he lifted his head, smiling.

“This is Bomin! Bomin this is my friend I was telling you about earlier.” Eric introduced the both of you.

Bomin nodded as he brought his dark eyes back to you, his lips stretching into a big grin.

“I’m Bomin. It’s nice to meet you.” He said in a deep, almost baritone voice as he reached across the table to shake your hand.

You smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too, Bomin.”

Eric took a little more time getting you and Bomin more acquainted as a mischievous smirk bloomed on his face when he saw Sunwoo walk through the door. It didn’t take long for Sunwoo to recognize the boy that was chatting you up as he sat down on the other side of Eric.

“Bomin, how have you been?” Sunwoo asked, rather curtly.

Bomin didn’t seem to notice the way in which his friend greeted him as he put his conversation on hold with you to reply.

“What’s up Sunwoo? Eric invited me for lunch. I wasn't too busy with school work so I thought I’d actually come to lunch for once.” Bomin said, making both Eric and you laugh.

Sunwoo watched the interaction between you two as Eric watched the boy bore holes into Bomin. This was exactly what Eric wanted.

“So, still focusing entirely on school?” Sunwoo asked, rather rudely.

Bomin smiled. “I am. Are you still bullying people to death with your wealth?”

Of course, Bomin was joking. This wasn’t an unusual statement that he would address Sunwoo with, but at this very moment, Sunwoo didn’t exactly appreciate it.

“Old habits die hard, I’m afraid.” Sunwoo whispered out, picking at the food in front of him.

The rest of the lunch was just Sunwoo watching Bomin flirt with you, and much to his heartache, you flirting back. It all came to a boiling point for Sunwoo.

“You know, Bomin, you’re sitting next to a top notch student.” Eric said, gathering everyone’s attention.

Bomin looked at you with a smile. “Really? Well I’m always looking to improve. Perhaps I should get your number?”

A shy smile grew on your face as you nodded before there was a slam on the table. Both you and Bomin jumped as the three of you watched Sunwoo storm off from the table.

You looked at Eric as he watched him. “What’s wrong with Sunwoo?”

Eric shrugged, continuing to eat as you narrowed your eyes at the boy.

“I hope everything is alright.” Bomin said softly.

You excused yourself from the table as you headed down the same path as Sunwoo. Getting to the front entrance of the school, you noticed Sunwoo sitting on the hood of his car. He was talking to himself as you made your way towards him.

“Eric told me you had grown out of that.” You said jokingly.

Sunwoo lifted his head as he eyed you. “No Bomin?”

You scrunched up your nose. “Did you want me to bring him?”

Sunwoo scoffed. “Not a chance.”

“Since when are you so unhappy about being around one of your best friends? To be honest, you didn’t seem all that thrilled that he joined us for lunch.” You pointed out.

Sunwoo shrugged. “Sometimes his presence can get a bit overwhelming.”

You smiled slightly as you could finally feel what Sunwoo was getting at.

“Are you jealous of Bomin?” You asked Sunwoo, taking a step closer to him to close the gap.

The tip of your feet were now about an inch from Sunwoo’s as he shook his head.

“Why would I be jealous of Bomin? I’ve got no reason to be. I’m rich. He isn’t. I’ve got more than he does.” Sunwoo said.

You nodded before hearing him speak again. “Maybe that’s why you like him. Because he isn’t like me.”

Not understanding what he was saying, you spoke up. “What do you mean?”

“You like Bomin. It’s obvious. He’s smart and kind. It makes sense. He’s everything I’m not.” Sunwoo said, picking at his fingers.

You shook your head. “No. Sunwoo, I don’t like Bomin. I’ll admit he’s a sweetheart, but he’s definitely not my type.”

Sunwoo lifted his head to look you in the eyes as he quietly whispered. “Then what is your type.”

This was it. The make or break moment that could change the course of your friendship forever.

“You are. You’re my type.” You breathed out.

“I, I am?” Sunwoo asked, standing up from the hood of his car.

You nodded. “Isn’t it obvious? I’ve liked you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I’m not going to lie, I kind of befriended Eric just to get closer to you. It was just an added bonus that he ended up becoming one of my closest friends.”

This caused Sunwoo to smile. “I thought I was being obvious as well.”

You looked at him confused as he spoke again. “I like you. A lot! Eric had been pushing me for months to tell you how I feel. I always thought you didn’t like me.”

“Eric had been telling me the same thing, but I always thought you didn’t like me.” You replied back.

Sunwoo reached for both of your hands, making your heart swell as he chuckled. “I guess us being rich doesn’t make us too smart, now does it?”

You giggled. “Not if we keep paying off our teachers.”

Sunwoo rolled his eyes at your teasing gesture as he pulled you into him, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

“You know I don’t actually pay my teachers off, right?” He asked seriously.

You looked at him. “Sunwoo, you know I don’t think that about you. I just like teasing you.”

Sunwoo pecked your forehead as he smiled. “So I guess we should probably go back in and tell Eric.”

You shook your head. “Not a chance. He’ll use that and hold it over our heads for the rest of our lives. Besides, we can always go back to your place or mine and just spend a bit more time together.”

As if knowing what you were getting at, Sunwoo pulled away from you to open the passenger side door. “Why go to my place when the backseat of my car is big enough.”

You pushed at his chest as you spoke. “Easy there, tiger. A date first would be better.”

Sunwoo snorted as he opened the driver’s side door. “Oh I’m sorry. Weren’t you the one suggesting it first?”

You gave him a shrug. “If you take me on a date now, and it goes well, maybe I’ll reward you. In the backseat of your car.”

Sunwoo smirked. “You got yourself a deal, babe.”

You both hopped into his car, leaving the school parking lot without realizing your shared best friend standing with a triumphant smile on his face. He definitely planned on teasing the two of you about this the next time he saw you.

#kwritersworldnet #tbznetwork #deobiwritersnet #kafenetwork #the boyz #tbz #the boyz sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #kim sunwoo #the boyz imagines #the boyz drabbles #the boyz scenarios #tbz imagines #tbz drabbles #tbz scenarios #the boyz eric #tbz eric #eric sohn

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the-blind-geisha · 3 years

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Template by Kindred on Twitter!

Did one for Oreana, and now one for Ignatius. There is a small talk of eating problems about Jin's area, so skip him if you don't want to see that. It's mostly nondescript, but just incase. ♥

(Top Left) Seiji Date from Yoroiden Samurai Troopers – Though honestly it can be Sage Date or Ronin Warriors because back then—everybody got a name change that was from anime. To be honest though, I think the main thing that came from him was the side swept hair without even thinking about it... Then I went through my memory folder and was like 'oh yeah... he was a huge part of my life'. So I think somewhere subconsciously I implemented some things into Ignatius from him.

(Top Right) Jin the Wind Master from Yu Yu Hakusho – So people wouldn't know this (because I storaged the file on DeviantArt), but Ignatius' original design was going to be very similar to Jin. The main reason? A very dark and heavy past of mine was littered with such emotional grief that I nearly died from an eating disorder. It was so hard to function. I would try to watch TV and just fall over and go to asleep as I had little to no food to keep me awake.

I knew YYH was running and a thing, but I never bothered with it because it was everywhere. As they say: hype can easily ruin a thing. I just saw no reason to get into something that was literally everywhere at the time. However, during the Dark Tournament, I had nothing better to do, so I turned it on. While it was Touya that was on the screen and had such lovely eyes (seriously, google Touya the Ice Master and see them lol), that I stayed to watch the show a bit. And when Jin hit the screen. Wow. First time in years I found myself feeling emotions other than misery and sorrow.

He came into my life and inspired me for like...7 years I want to say? I cannot recall, but it was a while. Either way, I wanted to put him into a story or two of mine in my own ways, but that didn't exactly happen. While I won't forget what he's done for me, I highly doubt I could put him somewhere that would truly be fitting. But, Ignatius was still a naga with four arms and a shapeshifter as well, but his original name was Adalir Galestrider at the time with crazy, red hair identical to Jin's, only longer and braided.

(Middle Left) Link from the Legend of Zelda Series – This actually comes a bit more from his twin brother's design in regards to the positioning of the hair Ignitus has. However, the very stoic personality that is often seen from Ignatius does come from Link. I know Link can be a goofball in the mangas and all that, but in the games, he very rarely shows a different side unless he's alone or around people he trusts. I wanted Ignatius to be identical in this manner. They both will loyally serve the princess they protect.

(Middle Right) Ignis Scientia from FFXV – Am I really giving anything away when I say Ignatius (Ignis) was named after this guy? lol Also, the glasses came (not only from my obsession with characters with glasses), but him as well. A good 50% of Ignatius is from Ignis given, again, how much the character slowly healed me during a rough as hell time. I had managed to escape from an abusive fanbase sending me death threats, and right when I thought I had been emotionally destroyed in all ways, he kind of revived me—even if I am not afraid to say I hated him at first. XD; It was because of my lucid dreams that I fell for this man. I wanted nothing to do with him, but he wanted to prove he could love me. My dreams gave me a very slow burn of a story with a semi happy ending that I documented of in private.

A lot of what my dreams with him have done a lot for Ignatius' story with Oreana. Taking Ignis' dirty blond hair and giving it to Ignatius as well, the very devout attitude to those he serves was also driven over to Ignatius. Even dagger usage came from Ignis.

(Lower Left) Demiurge from Overlord Light Novel – I say the LN specifically because in the anime and manga, they butcher what he's capable of... immensely. The demon nature and darker skin comes from Demiurge as well as the assassin, callous, and torturous side Ignatius is capable of. A lot of Ignatius' abilities are more on the scale of slow torture as he is adept at getting information out of a target no matter the means. Even before he met Oreana, Ignatius would kill women and children if they were in his way or care not to mourn the innocents that fell from his attacks. When it comes to standing beside Oreana, he doesn't really change. He's only kept at bay by her orders.

Just like Demiurge, Ignatius isn't one anybody would want to mentally go up against as he can plan peoples' destruction quite swiftly. The only people Ignatius cannot mentally outwit are the fallen generals of Osiris—Irie being the worst for him. The one on his side who can predict him is his own twin brother, Ignitus.

(Lower Right) Speaks for it self. I have a type. Don't at me. xD

#and the reason i say ignis and i had a semi happy ending is b/c demiurge forced me to marry him.. LOL #and ignis got mega pissed #and then the three of us ended up in a poly relationship #and they do not like one another at all lol #so much so that i usually have a dream with one and not the other lol #original characters #battle butler #demon #demon character #tw: eating disorder #my characters

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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Top 5 Reasons Javier Garcia’s Pretty Great

Of all the games in TWDG, A New Frontier seems to get the most shit. Stick around this fandom long enough and that’ll become apparently pretty quick, especially on other platforms such as reddit and instagram... and y’know, I get it. ANF is far from perfect, parts of the storyline go no where and characters don’t get the development they should have, a lot of people were upset that Clementine wasn’t the main playable protagonist, and certain character models look like... well, they look like potatoes.

Hell, I’ve talked to some people who flat out say they don’t even consider ANF as part of the canon and skip it when they replay the series, which.... harsh, but you do you. However, if you do skip over ANF for whatever personal reasons you have, you are missing out on what I would consider the best part of that game: Javier Garcia.

I love Javi, and I will stand by the fact that he’s a pretty damn good playable protagonist. I just wish more love and time was put into developing ANF to give him an even better story but y’know... Telltale was goin’ through shit, so we got this...

But, I still wanna talk about how great I think Javi is so c’mon, let’s take a walk.

5. Javi’s relationship with David

Now this might come off as a weird one, especially if your Javi has a more hostile relationship with David. Even so, I find the dynamic between Javi and David to be one of the more compelling aspects of ANF and I wish it was more front and center than it is but y’know.

So we got Javi, who is the younger, more irresponsible brother who became this hotshot baseball star only to lose it all by gambling. Then you got older brother David who is a military man with a couple kids and a second wife, and he’s always felt a little overshadowed by Javi. This creates this dynamic of brothers who do love each other, but don’t always know how to communicate and confide in one another and it can lead to a lot of tension or hostility.

The route I usually take with a Javier who tries his best with David, who wants this connection despite everything, who made the promise to their father to look out for David and be there for him, to stand with him when he needs it, y’know?

Some stand out moments for me is during the baseball flashback when David’s trying to open up about something, but struggles because Javi isn’t taking a hint about the serious nature, when they stand together on the roof, and the last conversation we see between them if David survives.

Oh, and ya can’t forget the “I love you”’s when David is two seconds away from murdering Javi... that’s the good shit.

And y’know, on the flip side where Javi is against David every step of the way, you can still argue that acts as a more tragic yet compelling story of two brothers who never saw eye to eye, never tried to, and it ended in tragedy... I personally don’t prefer this route, but to each their own.

Again, this is at #5 because it’s not handled the greatest and it’s a bit of an unpopular choice.... but I don’t care, Javi and his relationship with David is one of my favorites.

4. He’s pretty charming, isn’t he?

I’m sorry, I can’t help it.... if a charming character can make me laugh, then I almost always end up loving them. Javier Garcia is so damn funny and I love him for it.

Yeah, ANF is a mess but this dude makes it so much better with his dialogue, a great performance by Jeff Schine, great facial expressions, and just an overall charismatic air around him.

He’s just super likable, okay? Even when you play him as a total bastard, I have a hard time not enjoying his presence. I’ll be honest, if Javi wasn’t the playable protagonist or if he was this bland, watered down version of himself... I might be one of those people who skip over ANF.

He’s easily one of my favorite parts of this game and one of the few redeeming things about it.

3. His growth as a character

Like I mentioned in #5, when we first meet Javi he’s this irresponsible ex-professional baseball player who wasn’t around, even though his father was dying from cancer. After his father dies and he runs to try and make it home in time... he’s too late and David and their mother are pretty upset with him.

And then his father turns into a walker, and the apocalypse happens. Javi is now trying to survive with Kate, Gabe, and Mariana while everything goes to hell around them. But for someone known to not be around or to skip out when things get a little tough, Javi doesn’t abandon them. Nope, he stays with them for years, traveling around and surviving, making sure they have what they need.

By the end of the game? Javi’s proved to be a leader, proved that he’s better than he once was. Again, this is ANF so this growth isn’t super smooth or the greatest, but damn it, Javi makes it work.

He and his family, no matter the combo you got, are staying in Richmond and they’re going to try to start over and rebuild it, make it better than it was.... which I can only assume they succeeded because after that they were never heard from again.

Also, Javi is constantly having shit thrown his way and somehow he manages to pull through.

So good job, Javi, you did it.

2. Javi’s got a lot of force

Listen... Javi is so fun to play as. Like okay, I know that Telltale games don’t have the most complex combat system... you literally just push the buttons as they appear on screen. But I don’t care because Javi makes that fun.

Javi really puts all of his weight into each hit and you feel it. I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s something satisfying about the way Javi fights with a melee weapon, and it’s not something you feel when you play as Lee or Clementine. You do get it a few times when you place as Michonne in the mini-series, but even then, I would argue that Javi did it better.

It’s especially prominent towards the end of ep5 if you go after David and Gabe, and Javi’s on this motorcycle with his damn bat knocking over walker after walker until he finds them... then you get all this intense force when Javi is just gunning and beating down walker after walker to get to the vehicle Gabe and David are trapped in. I love it so much, it’s easily one of my favorite moments in ANF.

Don’t get me wrong, I have fun playing as Lee and Clementine, but Javier Garcia hits different, y’know?

1. He’s really trying his best to care for everyone, okay?

When we think of Lee as a playable protagonist, we tend to think about how wise he was, how he always seemed to know what he was doing and how much he was willing to sacrifice for Clementine... and when we think of Clem as a playable protagonist in S2, we’ve got this sad little girl who gets punished no matter what she does, she’s smart and often underestimated, but she makes plenty of mistakes which she learns from.

And then we have Javi who has a bit of both in him. He’s older and can have his moments of wisdom [like with Gabe and Clem] but he also has plenty of mistakes he’s gotta learn from and sometimes no matter what he does, everything goes to hell... but Javi does manage to stand out on his own among these two.

Javi does what he can, he tries his hardest to look after these kids even though he never planned to be a father figure, he works with Kate to make sure they’re safe. When he fucks up, he tries to make things right... even though it doesn’t always work out. He loves Gabe and Mariana, and you can see and feel his heartbreak when he’s the one to bury Mari after she’s killed.... and now he has Gabe, who’s hurting, and he does what he can to make sure he doesn’t meet the same fate which.... sometimes doesn’t work out depending on your ending.

I just-- he’s trying, okay? Javi is trying his best and I love him for it.

---

Honorable Mentions

-Javi has some of the best deaths/fails moments... seriously, I could watch him confidently run right into those metal stairs and fall to his doom a hundred times. -He’s a literal disaster bi. -He fucking loves pudding and I mean, who doesn’t? Y’know? -His bromance with Tripp is pretty good until Tripp dies for death quota reasons.

---

So what are your thoughts on Javier Garcia? Do you agree with these reasons, or do you have any to add? Lemme know, it’s always fun to have character discussions.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F

#twdg t5f #twdg javi #twdg david #twdg gabe #twdg mariana #twdg kate #twdg clementine

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cock-holliday · 4 years

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TLOU2: Abby

MAJOR SPOILERS

So, I’ve been doing a lot of shitting on the game and I stand by it, but I want to get into how I feel about Abby. I don’t actually hate her, but I despise how the game handled her.

Lemme start by saying, when her character intro was dropped I was hyped as hell. Who is this buff mystery woman? I know a lot of fans were upset to not have Ellie/Joel content but I was intrigued by this trailer. Obviously this woman must be important. I thought she was going to be Anna, and imagined a thousand scenarios where we got flashbacks of Anna, Anna was possibly alive and that created conflict with Joel and Ellie and got into “what really makes a family” or something. Super pumped.

I also was more excited immediately recognizing Laura Bailey’s voice. I am a massive fan. Importantly, I also adored her as Nadine Ross in Uncharted. Naughty Dog gave us a buff, kind of scary woman antagonist who kicks your ass tremendously and the whole time I fuckin loved her. She scared me but I thought she was so cool, and was so excited for her to be in Lost Legacy. Same game company, same actress, but they fucked up big time in The Last Of Us Part 2.

I think perhaps the biggest roadblock to getting people to like her is the story order, as I and many many others have talked about, but the problems also extend beyond that. Giving us time to get to know Abby before she kills Joel would have been the most important first step but the way the game tries to FORCE you to like her is a massively glaring issue. Especially with how the game ends, her story is riddled with hypocrisy.

Every things the game punishes Ellie for, Abby is guilty of. ND uses this to attempt to convince the player that Abby is like Ellie, but she does not suffer the same fate, and the parallels are not subtle enough to be clever, just ham-fisted. Abby would have offered herself up for a cure? Ellie also probably would, but ELLIE didn’t get to make that choice. (Side note: Abby’s dad Jerry is incredibly unlikeable for me. They push a scene of him going out of his way to save a Zebra to humanize him, then he’s on board with sacrificing a child who cannot make this choice herself, pressures Marlene into agreeing, and then has no idea why Marlene would want to inform Joel? Fuck this guy so hard.)

Two flashback scenes do a shit job of being a parallel in the lighter-moment relationships between the dad/daughter pairs. In a scene with Joel and Ellie, Joel incorrectly guesses Ellie is into Jesse. It’s funny because we the audience know that she is into Dina, and I wrote it off as oh, silly clueless dad Joel. But in the Zebra sequence, Jerry correctly guesses that Abby is into Owen. It almost felt like the game was trying to suggest that Jerry and Abby knew one another better than Ellie and Joel do. My found family vs bio family issues with that idea aside, if it’s true, it’s not like we got to see any development between Jerry and Abby to give a single fuck about these people over Ellie and Joel, ESPECIALLY after Joel’s brutal death.

Now, for Jerry’s death, the performance was good, and I tried my hardest to be sympathetic. A young girl lost her father and possibly friends in that hospital fight. That’s awful. If I could pretend like I hadn’t seen Joel die, (or if that was how the story order played) I would feel bad for her. What happened to her is horrible and tragic.

The next issue is the death of Abby’s friends. Two main issues for sympathy: story order, the context of their deaths. Learning about Nora or Mel or Owen after they’ve died already makes it a challenge to feel something for them, and we spend so little time with them that I genuinely forgot their names pretty quickly. But worse is how their deaths play out. All of them fight Ellie. Ellie did not go out of her way to kill them, she wanted Abby, not them. The woman with the headphones (see how little I remember names?) understandably tried to fight to get free. Don’t blame her, don’t really mourn her either.

Mel and Owen are rightfully not trusting Ellie, and try to fight to get free because they think they will die either way. Can’t really blame them for fighting to get away, but I also can’t blame Ellie for having to kill them either. We the audience already know that Mel is pregnant, but Ellie doesn’t, and by putting Mel in a jacket that covers her belly, the game makes sure Ellie doesn’t know until she’s already dead. Again, Ellie isn’t given a choice, this time where she could have tried harder to spare Mel for the baby. As a result, she feels like a monster.

The one friend death that hit more like I think it intended was Nora, but probably not for the reasons ND intended. Nora insults Joel to Ellie and I don’t blame Ellie for reacting with anger. Super fucked up, puts Nora in a greater chance to get killed, just to hurt Ellie. I wanted to kill Nora. That being said, catching up to Nora as she’s choking on spores was not how I expected it to go. I commend Nora for defending her friend (Abby) by not revealing her location. But I also don’t blame Ellie for trying to force Nora to talk. Ellie swinging with tears in her eyes, practically pleading with Nora to tell her without needing to cause pain, is more humanizing than Abby, who was seemingly unresponsive to Ellie’s sobs while killing Joel. Ellie feels like a monster here, Abby does not. More than the idea of torture what doesn’t sit right with me about Nora is not Ellie’s decision, but that ND cast a lot of minorities into roles that face the most gruesome violence and deaths, often and usually for the advancement of a white person’s story.

On the flip side, we have Ellie’s friends. We have Jesse, a funny and charming character that provides some light moments and good banter with Ellie. We know him, we like him, we have grown attached to him (I know his fucking name) and then he is killed pretty dismissively, again as a minority prop to someone’s story, (Don’t even get me started on Dina). Jesse is running into a room, gets shot suddenly, we see a kinda gorey shot of his bloody face wound. It’s shocking, and there is no room to mourn because we immediately go back to playing as Abby and I’m supposed to feel bad for her after she killed her SECOND major character. No way.

In this lengthy flashback as Abby, many of her friends are unlikeable, especially Manny. When their friend Danny is shown in the body bag I was searching my memory for if he was one that I killed cause I couldn’t remember. I already know these people die, and often die after hurting or insulting Ellie and Joel, so I’m not quick to support them. Some of these characters shit-talk Joel and say they wish worse had happened to him. I don’t know any of these people long enough to feel things from their perspective.

A part that really sticks out for the hypocrisy is before you meet Isaac, when you’re in the apartments where several Scars are held prisoner. We know that the WLF and Scars are at war, but that I don’t know why, mixed with the fact that I don’t give enough of a shit about people on either side, makes it hard to care. I see them similarly to Hunters vs FEDRA. Don’t really like either of you, so knock yourselves out. The image of Scars tied up in cages and in obvious torture rooms was already not a great way to win me over OR give me a good side of Abby, but when Abby delivers the line suggesting she’d want to torture these people, you continue to lose me. Ellie is riddled with guilt, Abby does not seem to be, and talks sadistically about the Scars. Even if you want to suggest this is a parallel to Joel, the way he speaks of his atrocities is ALSO riddled with guilt and self-disgust. Perhaps Ellie’s most sadistic points are in gameplay when taking people out and she insults them, but these scenes ALWAYS have these people attack Ellie first and defend herself. I’d call them fuckers too.

They do all this, and try to SHOVE in moments obviously there to wink wink nudge me to like Abby, and they don’t work. I’ll be honest, in game 1, i didn’t immediately like Ellie. I could see where the story was going and wasn’t going to like her just because they thought I should. The pacing allowed me to come to like her on my terms. It was just the two of us all game so I had plenty of time to like her. By Bill’s town I came to really like her, and by the end of the game, she became one of my favorite characters of any piece of media.

The game gave me no time to like Abby, and moments I did kind of like her, they slapped me in the face with an obvious device meant to make me like her, and it isolated me further. The whole game made me go “yeah, yeah I get it.” You know when Manny tries to get Abby and Mel to be on good terms and he’s just way too obvious about it? I feel like Manny is Neil (and yeah the posts about their similarity is not lost on me). ND doesn’t let me grow to like these characters without this ever-present 4th-wall loom of “Do you like Abby yet? See, she’s like Ellie.”

I was very excited for this character, I was excited for Laura, I was excited for a character with “unconventional” proportions (I’m also a slut for ladies with big muscles, so there’s that), and I’m just left disappointed. I feel bad for Laura, I feel bad for what Abby could have been. Done right, she would have been a compelling character, but ND fucked her over almost as much as Ellie and Joel.

#the last of us part 2 #the last of us 2 #the last of us spoilers #tlou2 spoilers #tlou 2 spoilers #the last of us 2 spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #tlou2 #tlou 2

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rohanrider3 · 4 years

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Brace Yourselves, I have THOUGHTS on this guy

Okay so I just watched Wizards (Tales of Arcadia) and I, along with many other folks, adore one (1) wizard in particular--Hisirdoux Casperan, better known as Douxie. I’m sure you’ve seen the art, the posts, and, well, the internet lately.

BUT HERE’S THE THING. One of the (many) reasons I love this guy. He’s not what one typically gets in a main character, AND he’s very different than other protagonists we’ve met in Arcadia.

TLDR: Protective, kind-as-summer, ultimate “good older brother vibes” wizard who simultaneously 1) doesn’t think much of himself, 2) tries his hardest, and 3) is actually SUPER FREAKING POWERFUL is unique and I love him for all those reasons and more!! (Details (and spoilers) below the cut)

1: He’s young, yes, but he’s extremely experienced. He looks 19, but is 919. As the first episode shows, he’s been doing his best to live a good life and master magic for NINE CENTURIES. All the while looking like a kid! Douxie lived through the fall of Camelot, has seen technology blossom and evolve, AND has seen countless people come and go, all the while completely on his own except for Archie.

2: He’s extremely humble. He’s apparently been working odd jobs FOR ALMOST A MILENNIUM--so he can work from the shadows to protect people from terrors they don’t even know about--and works hard AT ALL OF IT. Menial jobs AND demon-fighting. First episode, he clearly WANTS to use magic to clean up the cafe (and as a former customer service worker I would have sold my wisdom teeth for magic, LET ALONE magic clean-up help!) but he refrains from doing so, because he really took Merlin’s advice to heart.

(Side note: IMO, Merlin’s an ASS. But the advice he gives in the beginning of “Wizards”--along the lines of “Relying on magic alone isn’t enough, first you have to master how to live well and THEN you can master magic, hard work is extremely important and not to be skipped”--is good. AND DOUXIE STICKS WITH IT FOR OVER 900 YEARS. OF HIS OWN VOLITION. Merlin’s in a tomb, he hasn’t been glaring over Douxie’s shoulder all this time!) Which brings me to-

3) Douxie, although a hard worker, sincerely good guy, and all around badass wizard, doubts himself a LOT (thanks Merlin’s endless snarking and yelling.) BUT, instead of always fighting/planning to get Merlin to approve of him, Douxie instead focuses on doing the right thing. But it isn’t easy and Merlin’s dismissal of him/his ideas/Merlin’s constant disparaging put-downs hurts him. But he doesn’t let it stop him.

4) Douxie CARES. A LOT. He’s patient, kind, eager to help, works hard, and has protected humanity from horrors it didn’t even know about for CENTURIES. While he was still an apprentice, with no master, and no other magic users (that we’ve really seen) that could teach him more about his own magic or how to use it. The hedge wizards are cool, but we don’t get to see much of them and it looks like they’re more of a side society in Arcadia than something Douxie’s strictly a part of.

5) Douxie protects whoever he can whenever he can. To him, all life is precious, and he gives off major “is anyone else protecting this person or trying to make things better okay cool cool cool, I’m gonna try to do that as much as I can for as many as I can right now!” attitude. Which gives off major older sibling vibes to me.

(To emphasize, he cares about EVERYONE. He’s distraught at the thought of Arthur’s death, HE’S the one who uses his magic to remind--not enchant, REMIND--Arthur and Morgana of their old love of the forest and of Gwen (apparently the glue that held their trio together) and how, each in their own way, they miss her and still love each other. HE’S the one who’s constantly checking the time continuum, and keeps trying to tell Merlin that it doesn’t have to be Arthur vs. Morgana. But Merlin outright pushes him aside/ignores him, and events take their course. Interesting note: Right during the big fight scene in the past with Arthur vs. Morgana, just before Arthur cuts off Morgana’s hand with Excaliber and she falls to her death, you’ll notice the time continuum is blue. Which means it’s fine. The future is good. Douxie could go back to his future no problem. BUT WHEN HE SEES MORGANA’S DEAD FORM as part of the repaired timeline, HE SHOUTS AND RUNS TOWARD THEM TO TRY AND STOP IT. Morgana being DEAD didn’t mess up the timeline. Excaliber being broken did. But Douxie was still trying to save Morgana AND Arthur, and only the blast of magic from their fight knocked him back. And he still grieves her death as one of the parts of his failure, even while Merlin pushes him aside and focuses on Arthur and Excaliber in the aftermath of the battle.

6) Does anyone else think Douxie has a major guilt complex/super messed up self esteem? Because Douxie tearfully shouting “I’m so sorry! This is all my fault!” to Merlin, AS DOUXIE’S OWN LIFE IS IN DANGER AFTER HE TRIED TO SAVE HIS FRIENDS and keep the Arcane Order from destroying the world...that hit hard. His life is on the line and (most likely) his last words are a plea for forgiveness to the Master that routinely dismissed him as an incompetent idiot and was more than happy to leave teenagers (!TEENAGERS!) who’d fought and risked everything to protect the world to die horribly at the hands of his enemies. Douxie--caring, kind-hearted, I-get-my-ass-rountinely-handed-to-me-but-always-get-up-again DOUXIE was the one who ran back to get Jim and Claire. Not Merlin. Merlin was *this close* to leaving to protect Nari for the greater good, and only reconsidered because Douxie had thrown himself into the fray (and despite his best efforts got thrown hard into a rock wall by The Green Knight. And then volleyball spiked into the (equally hard rock) floor and crushed by MindControlledTrollJim.

7) Douxie DOES NOT GIVE UP. Merlin writes Jim’s injuries off as hopeless and him as a lost cause, but Douxie relentlessly tries to figure out ways to fix things. Arthur and Morgana’s relationship, Jim’s injury/worsening curse, all the scenarios where they (it looks like) have to choose between saving their friends AND the world. He doesn’t just shrug and write off losses the way Merlin does. Douxie keeps throwing himself at problems and putting himself at risk to solve them.

8) He’s honest. (Certain Lad of Fortune bowl games aside ;) ) Merlin only told Jim the problem with the wound and left it at that. Douxie makes sure that Claire knows the reality of the situation and promises he’ll find a way to fix it. He knows their situation isn’t ideal, but he refuses to just shrug and leave things as they are. He’s more than willing to throw himself wholeheartedly into finding a way to fix things and refuses to let defeat stop him. Which leads me to, finally--

9) Douxie willingly, without flinching or making a big deal about it, walks into the jaws of death for his friends and the world. For Pete’s sake, he does it with a SMILE. He KNOWS getting his friends back is a long shot. He KNOWS the Arcane Order cannot get Nari AND the Seals, or else the world is doomed--AND he could easily have chosen to go on the run, with the Seals, for the rest of his life. His friends would have died (or worse), Nari would have been trapped with the Order for the rest of time, but the world (and Douxie) would have been safe. Why? The Order doesn’t know he has the seals. Merlin said they could be FOUND if his staff was destroyed, he didn’t say they were STORED there. (And yeah, I wanted Douxie to trick the Order with fake Seals too, but after some thought I’d argue that they’re ancient and powerful enough where they probably wouldn’t have been fooled by or chased after a fake.) Also, going on the run with inanimate objects your hunters don’t know you have and having the kind of magic Douxie does--he could have had a niiiiiice life. Maybe a little mobile, but arguably MUCH easier than constantly making sure a small forest spirit doesn’t get snatched up by her angry brethren. In any case--

Douxie’s plan included--and even hinged on--his willingness to die buying his friends and Nari time to escape. He BUILT IT INTO HIS PLAN. And that bravery, courage, and matter of fact heroism--along with that defiant smirk he gives the Order when they threaten to kill him--is why I love this guy so much.

#douxie #wizards #tales of arcadia #toa spoilers #wizards spoilers #long post #but its about DOUXIE you guys #heroism #protectiveness

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heyitsani · 3 years

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Loving You is a Losing Game Chapter 2

Word Count: 4909

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major Character Death (but not until the last chapter)

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson

Summary: Dick is forced to face his situation and discovers that perhaps his initial assumptions weren't as accurate as he had thought.

Notes: Thanks to Mel for helping me sort out some of the logistics of this chapter and helping me to decide to cut it in half and make the story four chapters instead of three. Next chapter is mostly written, so I'll probably update in the next week or so.

You can also read it on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick couldn’t be sure how long he had been sitting on the bed when a knock came on the door and he found himself debating if he should answer it or not. He wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with the man who had basically imprisoned him here. Though imprisoned was a bit of a stretch since Dick had technically volunteered to be here in place of Bruce. But it wasn’t like he wanted to be here. He had just been trying to save Bruce.

The knock sounded again, breaking his musings.

“Sir?” A quiet voice came through the door, uncertain and definitely not the man who had caused all of this. Frowning at the thought of there being others possibly in the same position, Dick slipped off the bed and hurried over to open the door. The man standing there wasn’t really what he was expecting. Although, if he were honest, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. But a tall, bean pole skinny man with windswept brown hair and an almost golden tone to his skin was not it. “Ah, there you are!”

Dick stepped aside as the man pushed his way into the room, a pile of various clothing items hanging over one arm and a woman with shiny black curls and beautiful sepia colored skin trailing close behind him. She spared Dick a glance with a shy smile before hurrying over to place the tray she was carrying down on one of the end tables.

“I’m sorry, who are you both?” Dick questioned, looking between the two people from his spot still near the open door. They didn’t seem to be in distress and that confused him even more. They wanted to be here? Did they know what here was?

The pair exchanged a glance before the woman stepped forward and held out a hand. “Kassandra,” she offered, an almost familiar smile on her face. There was something he recognized, but he couldn’t place his finger on it. Even still, he reached forward and shook her offered hand before doing the same with the man. “That’s Wade and we’re here to help you with getting ready for dinner and acclimated to the castle.”

Castle. Someone had actually said the word and Dick just didn’t know what to make of that. Or make of the two people standing in front of him. They were…staff? He wasn’t sure he was getting this right.

“You’re staff?”

Wade laughed and went abut sorting through the clothes, Kassandra just shook her head at the man before looking at Dick. “We are here because we have to be,” she said. But that didn’t make anymore sense to him. “You won’t find the answers you’re seeking from anyone within these walls. What holds you here, holds all of us here.”

So the magic had trapped them. But was he really trapped? He hadn’t tried to leave but maybe only the shadow man had the power to say who could go. He had let Bruce leave after all. “This situation is a bit out of my paygrade,” he admitted, glancing over at Wade as he muttered to himself over a shirt and pant combo. “You won’t need those. I’m not going to dinner.”

“What?” Wade gasped, wide eyes looking at Dick in surprise. “But…you have to.”

“No, I don’t. He may be keeping me prisoner here, but he doesn’t own me.” He didn’t miss the concerned look Wade sent in Kassandra’s direction, but he didn’t bother looking over at her. He wasn’t going to change his mind. The man, thing, whatever he was, was keeping him here against his will. Why on earth would he willingly join him for a meal?

A knock on the door interrupted anything that might have been said between the three of them and Kassandra opened the door to reveal a man with black hair, pale skin, and wise eyes the color of whiskey. It was almost unnerving to look him directly in the eye, as if he had lived through more life than anyone had any right to. “Dinner is ready,” the man said, looking over Dick with a frown. “But you’re obviously not. Wade?”

“Don’t blame me, Ryan! I’m trying.”

“It doesn’t fucking look like it. He’s still in the suit.”

“I’m not the problem here. He is!”

The man, Ryan apparently, looked over at Dick and raised an eyebrow so Dick shrugged and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest. “He’s waiting.”

“He can keep waiting. I’m not going.” That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say because Ryan started glowering at him and Dick almost wanted to shrink away from the man. But he held his ground. “He doesn’t own me; I don’t have to do what he demands. Not when I’m being held here against my will.”

Ryan stared at him for another moment before he left the room without saying anything else. Dick frowned and looked over to see Kassandra and Wade exchanging a look he didn’t recognize. But after a moment, Wade turned to him with a smile but grave eyes. He saw Kassandra leave the room out of the corner of his eye and wondered who would break the news to the shadow man.

“At least get out of the suit, Nightwing,” Wade gestured to a few items laid out on the bed that were more casual than he had been looking at for the actual dinner.

“Dick,” he said, giving Wade a shrug when he looked over surprised. “You’ve already seen my face. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of here so there’s no point in hiding my real name.” The man nodded and gestured over to the changing partition in the corner of the room. So Dick grabbed the clothes and headed over, quickly removing the suit and changing into the soft, grey joggers and black t-shirt. He took a few extra moments to fold up his suit before he reemerged, trying to reconcile himself with his current situation.

Everything felt so surreal, and he was struggling to accept that he wasn’t going to be leaving this place any time soon. But he had to have faith that Bruce would get him out. He would call on Damian and Tim and they would find a way. He had to trust them. They wouldn’t stop until they managed it.

Taking a deep breath, Dick finally emerged from behind the screen and set his suit and escrimas on the bed. When Wade went to pick them up, Dick held up a hand to stop him. “I’d feel better keeping them near.” Wade nodded silently before gathering the other items and hanging them in the wardrobe off to the side. “So-” Dick started, but was cut off by a harsh knock to the door.

“I thought I said I expected you to join me for dinner?!” It was only because of his years of training that Dick managed not to flinch and step back at the banging and the angry sound of the man’s voice coming through the door.

Glancing at Wade, who was watching him with a closed-off expression, Dick tried to think of what to do. Did he try and diffuse the situation or did he ignore it? But wasn’t it enough that this man had imprisoned him? Wasn’t it enough that Dick had given up his whole life to save his mentor and father figure? He wanted to ask him as much. “I’m not eating with you,” he called out instead. His fucking temper, it really would be the death of him one day.

And from the almost feral sounding growl on the other side of the door, that day might be today. “He could hear some muffled talking on the other side but he couldn’t quite make it out. It sounded feminine but not melodic in the way Kassandra’s voice had sounded.

“Please try to control your temper.” Now that voice he recognized as Ryan’s. Curious.

There was another growl before a moment of silence and Dick could practically see the shadow man trying to reign himself in. It just served to piss Dick off more. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared over at Wade who was still watching him. “Will you come out and join me for dinner?” The voice growled out, low and barely controlled.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.” Dick knew his stubbornness was hard to compete with, but he had a feeling that this man’s own will could hold its own.

But apparently the man’s temper was stronger because there was another loud bang, as if a fist hit the door with more power than it should have, making Dick actually step back this time. “FINE!” The man yelled; anger palpable through the door. “If he doesn’t eat with me, then he doesn’t leave the room at all! You want this to be a prison? You got your wish!”

There was another growled comment that Dick couldn’t make out before silence. And dread. If there was one thing Dick couldn’t handle well, it was confinement. He needed space, freedom to move and fly. Glancing around the room, he did his best to control the bubbling panic of being confined to this room despite its spacious size.

“Dick?” Looking over at Wade, he saw the man looking at him almost concerned. “Would it be so bad to eat a meal with him? He’s really not as bad as this is making him seem. You should get to know him like we have.”

But the panic flared back up to anger and Dick clenched his fists. “I don’t want to get to know him. I don’t want anything to do with him.” He watched Wade sigh, shoulders drooping before he nodded and headed for the door.

“I’ll see about getting you a tray of food.” Dick clenched his jaw to keep from snapping at Wade, since it wasn’t exactly his fault, and watched the man leave.

Once again leaving Dick alone in his lavish cell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few weeks of the most boring routine Dick had ever been exposed to and he was honestly unsure of how he was going to keep this up. He would wake, chat with whoever brought his breakfast to him for a bit before he was left alone until it was time for lunch. Then he would get some company for longer than just a meal before he was left to eat dinner alone and spend the remainder of the night either reading whatever book he found lying around or doing some basic workouts to try and keep his mind sane.

Sighing at the knock on his door, Dick knew it was his dinner tray and another round of loneliness. He briefly wondered if he could convince whoever it was to stay. But he knew it would be folly since Wade had made it clear everyone trapped there ate dinner together.

So unless he wanted to give into the man’s demands, Dick was stuck alone yet again.

Pulling open the door, Dick gave a half smile to Dana. He had met her the day after his arrival and had immediately felt something. Bits of each person he had come into contact with had felt familiar. Kassandra’s smile, Ryan’s eyes, and Wade’s energy. But Dana, there was too much to pinpoint the exact familiarity. It reminded him so much of Donna, he had struggled to think of her as anyone else.

But the blonde hair and sea green eyes were far from the Donna he knew and missed, so he had pushed that thought from his mind.

“You can still join us,” Dana said as she set the tray down and turned to face him, hands on her hips. But Dick was too stubborn to give in now. He wouldn’t let the shadow man win. Not when this was the last thing in his control. He watched Dana sigh in resignation as Dick refused to respond. “I’ll send Wade to keep you company after dinner. You seem like you could use it.”

“Thank you,” he replied, ignoring the painful ache in his chest as she looked at him in a way Donna had so many times. Like she could see straight through to his very core. With a shake of her head and another sigh, she slipped out of the room and left Dick to his own devices again.

Glancing over at the familiar tray sitting on the bed, he dropped down next to it, falling backwards so he could look up at the canopy of the bed as he kicked his legs against the bedframe. He could just leave the room on his own. He had been thinking about it since the very first week and he knew that while the door was unlocked, he was probably pushing his luck if he just left.

But what made the shadow man aspire such loyalty from everyone stuck there? Especially when he treated Dick like a prisoner and all of them were allowed to wander around freely? What was special about Dick? Or what was special about them?

“Ugh,” he groaned, sitting up and grabbing a piece of fruit to chew on as he hopped off the bed and moved over to the window seat. But the view wasn’t anything special. The same wall of magic sizzling in the distance, old trees swaying in the wind that Dick was pretty certain was artificial given the wall of magic.

But he hadn’t been outside since the day he had arrived, he wouldn’t know if it were real or fake. One thing he did know, the weather seemed to mostly emulate what he knew Gotham would be experiencing this time of year. Except there was no thick layer of smog and haze resting over the grounds. It was as though the magic had shielded them all from the fumes of Gotham.

He pictured Damian and Tim on the other side of the wall, trying to find a way to bring it down while they bickered as they always did. Despite Dick’s best efforts, he couldn’t get the pair to get along, not even begging them had helped. And Bruce had given up long before Dick had realized it was a pointless effort. But right then, Dick would give anything to see them again, to listen to them insult each other and eventually come to blows. What he wouldn’t give to have to separate them before Bruce used that tone on them, bringing his soldiers to heel.

Dick hated that voice.

He missed that voice.

Turning away from the window, he went back to the waiting tray of food and began working his way through the various items that had been placed on it. He was about halfway through when a knock came on the door, but the person didn’t bother waiting for him and opened it without invitation.

“I heard you are in desperate need of some company,” Wade teased as he walked in, closely followed by Ryan. Dick watched Wade bound in casually, but Ryan’s eyes scanned the room as if he wanted to be sure everything was in order before landing on Dick with a critical glance as he entered. “We have come to entertain. Do a dance, Ryan.”

The black-haired man gave Wade a flat look before dropping into the armchair in the corner of the room. He kept a penetrating look on Dick and Dick almost squirmed under it. Almost. Instead, he looked back to Wade and tried to ignore the man in the corner.

“Actually…” Dick started, leaning forward to really look at Wade. He was the one Dick knew he could probably convince to let him wander around. “You said the warden of my prison keeps to himself after dinner, right?” Wade narrowed his eyes but nodded and Dick flashed a charming smile. “So it’d be safe for you to show me around then, right? No chance of him running into us?”

“No.” Ryan’s voice was flat and final, but Dick didn’t even look at him.

“What do you say? Show me all the places that make this place less of a prison and more of a home you all seem to have made it.” Wade looked hesitant, glancing over at Ryan with a look Dick couldn’t read.

But he knew he was winning. He knew that Ryan would give in and join them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick watched Wade and Ryan keep moving forward, completely oblivious to the fact that he was no longer following behind them. He shouldn’t have been too surprised, considering the bickering the pair of them seemed intent on doing any time they were near each other.

But Dick took advantage of it and used all his stealth skills to head up the stairs toward the forbidden wing of the castle. His curiosity burning brightly, thanks to all the training Bruce had put him through. The need to know always burned through him when people refused to tell him things. And usually, he could mind his own business, ignoring the instinct, but he couldn’t this time. He needed to know. Especially since it might have an answer as to what was happening within the magical barrier.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Dick looked both directions down the hall to figure out which way he should go. Noticing the rug to the right seemed to have a bit more of a worn look to it, he headed that direction. The hall was lined with the similar statues and pictures that the previous areas he had seen were, but the mood of the wing seemed to get darker and darker the further he went down it.

And when he finally reached the end where a single door stood closed, Dick gave one last glance behind him before testing the knob to see if it was unlocked. He was a little surprised with how adamant everyone was about staying away that he found the door unlocked.

And for the first time since he had decided to do this, Dick found himself hesitating.

Everything about this decision felt wrong but he could practically hear Bruce in his mind telling him to assess the situation fully, leave no corner unsearched. He had to know. He had to be aware.

So he took a deep breath and carefully entered the dark room. The air was cold thanks to an open pair of French doors that led to a balcony, but Dick felt chilled by more than the night air. The room was in complete shambles, various pieces of furniture strewn about the room in different states of destruction.

Running his hand along a old writing desk that had been cracked down the middle, Dick frowned and tried to piece what he was seeing with a need to keep it secret. There had to be something there. There had to be.

Then a glowing green light caught his attention.

Just to the side of the open French doors was a table with a basin full of green liquid that had an ethereal glow to it. The glow pulled Dick closer, drawing him like a moth to the flame. And when he reached the table, he saw that next to the bowl was a curious object.

A watch resting on a stand, covered by a glass case.

A watch that reminded him of something he had seen before.

Removing the glass case from around the watch, Dick set it aside and looked at the watch more closely. “Impossible,” Dick whispered, thinking how much it reminded him of Thomas Wayne’s watch that he had seen Bruce with so many times growing up. But as far as Dick knew, that watch had been lost.

Reaching out a hand to pick up the watch a shadow formed in front of him, startling him into jerking back and away from the table.

“Why did you come here?” The shadow growled as he lifted the case to cover the watch again, glaring at Dick as he stepped between him and the table holding the watch and basin.

“I’m sorry,” Dick said, holding his hands up to placate the man. “I didn’t mean any harm.” But that didn’t seem to be the right thing to say because the shadow shifted and the man revealed himself, glare fierce, glowing green like the liquid in the basin, and hatred burning bright.

“I warned you never to come here!” He stalked toward Dick, who backed up pace for pace. He might be trained, but he wasn’t prepared to fight someone who could shift from a shadow to a corporal form. “Do you realize what you could have done?!” The man shouted, picking up a random end table and throwing against the wall before cornering Dick and gripping his throat.

“Please, stop,” Dick gasped, gripping the hand at his throat. Something shifted in the man’s eyes and suddenly Dick could breathe again.

Gasping he flinched when the man yelled, “Get out!” But he didn’t hesitate to follow the order, stumbling out of the room and down the hall as quickly as he could.

He was barely out of the room when he heard the man yell one last “GET OUT!”

Without a backwards glance, Dick stumbled down the stairs and ran straight toward the main doors of the castle.

“Dick!” He heard Wade call out to him. “Wait! What happened?!”

Dick paused to look at the man before shaking his head and continued his rush to the doors. “Promise or not, I can’t stay here,” he said, tugging the door open and rushing into the cold Gotham winter air. He wasn’t prepared for the cold, but he didn’t let it stop him. Instead, he ran straight for the magical barrier that held everyone in this insane fantasy.

He had almost reached it when the first person wearing an all too familiar uniform dropped in front of him. The League of Assassins. Of course they were involved. It was another piece of the puzzle, but it wasn’t one he could focus on right then. He needed to get to that barrier.

But as he fought the assassin, without his usual weapons and armor, more of them seemed to appear out of thin air and Dick started to doubt his chances of getting through that barrier in one piece. He went down with a particularly hard hit to his ribs, one knee connecting to the ground with a crack and a grunt of pain. But he knew he couldn’t quit. This wasn’t how he would go down.

So he raised a hand and blocked the bo staff sailing his direction, performing a move that he had used on Tim too many times to count, and effectively gaining a weapon from his enemy. But a staff would only get him so far once they started pulling out their swords. It would have to do for now thought.

Spinning on his knee, he kicked one assassin’s feet out from under them before blocking another staff’s descent to his head as he got both his feet back under him. Immediately he jumped to avoid being knocked down the same way he had just served, using the momentum to land a kick to one chest and block another blow aimed at him. But with each assassin he knocked down, another appeared, and Dick wasn’t any closer to the barrier.

Then something surprising happened.

Suddenly he found himself surrounded by a black shadow that dealt more damage in a matter of seconds than he had been able to in the minutes he had been fighting the assassins. And each time Dick tried to get back into the fight, he found the shadow wall around him standing firm. There was a pained grunt that had to be from the shadow man but he didn’t stop until all of the assassins were on the ground or on the run.

The shadow around Dick faded into the man kneeling on the ground, blood seeping through his shirt between his fingers where he had pressed his hand. Looking back to the barrier, Dick debated whether or not he should still run for it. But even before he decided he knew. He couldn’t just leave the man responsible for saving his life out there on his own.

So he did what he always did, he sacrificed his own needs for those of someone else.

Ducking down, Dick pulled the man’s free arm around his shoulders and looked at him. He saw the surprise in the other man’s eyes, but just gave a small smile before helping him stand. Slowly and carefully, Dick guided him back toward the doors to the castle.

“Thank you,” Dick said softly, sparing another glance to the man who seemed almost stunned at the words. It was almost as if no one had ever thanked him before. And maybe that was true. The others there seemed close, but he seemed to hold himself apart. But something Kassandra had said about everyone being under the magic’s hold made him think that maybe it wasn’t the shadow man’s fault after all.

The instant they were inside again, Wade and Ryan rushed forward and took the man from Dick’s hold, guiding him to a side room with a chair placed in front of a fire. Dick was spun around to face a determined looking Kassandra, who began running her hands over his body to check for injuries. “I’m fine,” he waved her off. “Just bruises. Let me go help him.” He tried to walk over to where the men had gone but Kassandra held onto his arm.

“They can help him just fine,” she told Dick.

But he shook his head and pulled his arm out of her surprisingly strong hold. “I want to help him. He saved my life. It’s the least I can do,” he admitted before heading toward the room. Pushing the cracked door open fully, he paused just inside the door at the sight of the shadow man without his shirt on, illuminated by the firelight.

He was beautiful.

Dick hadn’t noticed thanks to his anger and suspicion distracting him, but he couldn’t deny it in that moment. This man was strength personified. From the firm tone of his back to the clear lines of muscle in his arms. And Dick knew the front was probably just was glorious as this angle.

“Dick,” Wade called out when he had been spotted, but Dick kept his eyes on the shadow man as he turned and locked gazes with Dick. “Are you hurt at all?” Dick shook his head and moved over to the man he couldn’t tear his eyes away from.

Pausing to look down at the wound on his side, Dick frowned as he looked back to the man’s face. “Can I?” Dick asked, gesturing to the tools that Ryan was laying out, preparing to use to stitch up the wound. The man seemed to be considering him for a moment before giving a silent nod and sending Ryan a look, who huffed and rolled his eyes before walking way. Taking a protesting Wade with him.

Left alone, Dick got to work cleaning the wound with the basin of water and clean towel that had been set on the side table. Kneeling so he could be eye to eye with the wound, Dick only glanced upward when the man hissed as the disinfectant likely burned the wound. “I’m sorry,” Dick apologized, keeping his eyes on the task. “I should not have gone into that room like I did.”

“I understand why you would,” the man muttered, and Dick frowned. “But I appreciate the apology. That watch is…” Dick paused his threading of the needle to look up. “It is very precious.” It made Dick want to know more, but he knew he had pushed enough limits for the time being. So he went back to work on the wound and began the process of stitching it closed with neat sutures. “I don’t want you to feel as though you are a prisoner, but the…magic will not let you leave. Not yet.”

“Why? Why is it holding all of you here?”

The man frowned down at him, considering his words. “How do you know I am not the wielder of the magic?”

“Because that magic feels malicious.” Dick didn’t know how he knew, but he just did. He had felt it when he had pushed his way through. He had experienced enough magic through the years to know what bad magic felt like.

“And how do you know I am not?”

Tying off the thread, Dick sat back on his feet and looked up at the man. “You could have let them have me. You could have sat back and let them kill me. But you didn’t,” Dick gave a small, genuine smile. “You saved me. You got hurt saving me.” Breaking the intense gaze, Dick grabbed a gauze pad and medical tape to cover the wound so it could heal cleanly.

“My name is Jace,” the man offered after a few more moments of silence.

Standing and setting the medical tape on the tray, Dick smiled and held out a hand to the other man. “It’s nice to meet you Jace, my friends call me Dick.” He ignored the spark in his chest when Jace’s larger hand encased his and squeezed lightly.

#jaydick #jason todd #dick grayson #beauty and the beast au #anikah writes

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queen-of-bel · 3 years

Text

finally gonna write up my thoughts on lost judgment now that i’ve finished everything and had some time to digest it all

putting under a cut bc this is gonna be long, even by my usual ramble-y standards

As always, bad first before good, but my nits/complaints with LJ are... mostly minor, I’m gonna be honest.

I do wish that there were more dynamic intros for bosses. The ones that we did get were absolutely amazing, so it’s not like RGG can’t do it. I’m not sure why they skimped out on dynamic intros for this game, but that was a bit disappointing, not gonna lie.

Also, does anyone want to tell me why an action/beat em up style game somehow managed to make their BOXING minigame the least fun of them all? Like good lord, you really would’ve assumed that making boxing fun would’ve been a cakewalk for them.

And speaking of poorly balanced things, the Amon fight was underwhelmingly easy. I’ve always LOVED the Amon fights in these games bc they absolutely kick my ass and I have so much fun with them. This one, though? I beat it second attempt on hard without even really trying too much. I remember afterwards just thinking “is that it?” So yeah. That was kind of a bummer.

Probably my most substantial complaint I have tho is how much of a backseat the first game’s characters/plot took. I know that RGG said you don’t need to play the first game in order to play LJ, but... come on. It’s a sequel. Who cares about spoiling the first game? I really would’ve LOVED to see what Okubo or Hamura are up to now. Or to hear Sugiura’s thoughts on Sawa’s death since it mirrored his own sisters’ murder in so many ways.

Still, I can’t say that this really bothered me too much, because...

The good

Holy shit. The characters in LJ just... I’m not gonna lie. I kinda like these characters a bit more than the first cast. I still love everyone from the first game dearly, but I felt like LJ’s writing was a significant step up from the first game, and that really helped their character writing.

I feel like Judgment suffered from poor pacing at times in the first few chapters. It’s not always clear which way the story is going to go-- there’s some weird shoe-horned in drama with Kaito/Adachi, and making the player discover the truth about Higashi’s past so early on in the game also felt a bit out of left field. I remember just like “lmao i don’t even know this dude who cares?” Once the ball started rolling, though, the game is phenomenal.

But this is my review of LJ, not it’s predecessor.

Anyway, I feel like LJ didn’t have any of those pacing issues. It just throws you into the madness and does not stop. It was nice that nearly NONE of the side content was mandatory, so it just felt like I was able to be fully immersed in the story and not get distracted with having to do like... drone racing or things like that.

And god was that story amazing. There are few times that I’ve genuinely cried at a video game, and I’m not ashamed to admit that this was one of them.

Regarding the story themes of bullying and how it’s handled... Even though I feel that was absolutely the strongest part of LJ, I... actually don’t want to dive into it too much in this post. If anyone has been keeping up with my playthrough tag, they can piece together how I feel about it. It just... mirrored a lot of what had happened in my own past and at times, the game became almost too difficult to play. Not in a bad way, but the game hit close to home a lot and that made me sympathize with Kuwana probably more than is socially acceptable to LOL

Speaking of Kuwana, can I just take some time to gush about his character? When he first was introduced I rolled my eyes at how boring he seemed but holy fuck, I take that ALL back. I’ve written more about how I feel about Kuwana here, but this man is easily my favorite RGG character now.

His motives, his sense of justice, how he executes that justice... Christ. I’ve always been partial to the “vigilante killer who recognizes that he’s on the wrong path” trope anyway, but Kuwana just blows them out of the water. When you see how he actively attempts to make amends for what he did, it’s so hard to blame him.

Even when Reiko betrays him, he harbors no grudge over it. He feels that it’s his fault Mitsuru tried to kill himself, and that Reiko has every right to do whatever she wants, even at the expense of his own wellbeing. The only thing that Kuwana cares about is making sure that her secret never gets out.

He doesn’t sweep Sawa’s death under the rug, either. His original plan was to get Soma out alive and convicted for her murder. This was his way of trying to make it up to Sawa. But if that plan failed, he had a failproof plan B where he would do what he does best.

When all else fails, and he’s watching these people walk away unscathed, with nothing weighing them down and nobody to judge them, he strikes. He takes matters into his own hands, and that’s exactly what he was planning on doing with Soma. If he couldn’t get Soma out alive to get justice for Sawa’s death, then he’ll kill Soma and destroy Shinya’s body, forever securing the freedom Reiko so desperately needs if she wants to remain reunited with her son.

But of course, this sense of justice that Kuwana has isn’t without flaw. While it’s so easy to want to root for him because man, fuck Shinya, Yui, and Mikoshiba. They’re all pieces of shit-- who cares what happens to them? Kuwana doesn’t... really have an end goal. He says he’ll keep doing this if it means that he can prevent another incident like Mitsuru’s suicide attempt, but he literally has no answer as to how his actions can prevent that. Everything he’s done has always been reactive, never preventative. And while it’s satisfying to see someone get their comeuppance, how exactly is this supposed to fix anything on a larger, societal scale? Maybe people will start to get wind that former bullies are being murdered as adults, but the incidents are scattered over such a long period of time that clearly nobody has been connecting the dots. He can keep doing what he’s doing, but there’s inevitably going to be another innocent person like Sawa dragged into the mix.

Enter Yagami and his own sense of justice.

I’ve seen people complain that Yagami relies too heavily on Sawa’s death to get his point across, but I don’t... really agree. To me, it didn’t feel so much as that Yagami was using Sawa’s death to convince Kuwana that his sense of justice was wrong, but moreso that Yagami needed to remind himself that Kuwana’s justice isn’t right. It’s so easy to just be like “oh cool, Kuwana, keep doing your thing.” but he needs to remind himself that Kuwana’s methods are not without collateral damage.

You know, but even then, when Yagami says that someone needs to stand up Sawa because she can’t speak for herself anymore, Kuwana can turn around and say the exact same thing about Toshiro and the other kids who killed themselves.

I think this back and forth really gets into the heart of why this was such a good moral dilemma, and why Yagami and Kuwana are such good foils for each other.

They don’t hate each other at all. In fact, they’re desperately trying to find a solution that caters to both of their morals. Neither are fully satisfied with the results that their convictions will bring, and god damn it if there's a way they can combine the best of both worlds they're gonna do it. But they both know that's not possible so what ends up happening is just a bitter fight full of despair-- two men putting everything on the line to fight for what they truly believe in.

There are very few times where the prospect of a boss fight gutted me and I’m not ashamed to admit that I teared up during the buildup of the Kuwana fight. I predicted earlier on that he would be the final boss, but after hearing his plea to keep Reiko and Mitsuru together... I really, really did not want to fight him.

Speaking of, I didn’t think it would be possible for me to cry over a character that had about 2 minutes of screentime, but Mitsuru Kusumoto... you have my entire heart. To be honest, when Reiko stood up and said that it’s time to end this, I had a mini heart attack because I thought she meant that she was going to pull the plug. I’m so happy to see that he woke up, but it’s heartbreaking to think about what his life is going to be from now on. He’s lost the only two people that supported him while he was in a coma, and now, he’s not only going to have to deal with the fallout of what Reiko did, but he has to navigate a world that went on for thirteen years without him all by himself.

Anyway, I’m still undecided on where I actually stand on the Kuwana vs. Yagami debate. It’s so easy to (half) joke online and be like “Oh, Kuwana did nothing wrong”, but if I stop and ask myself if I really feel that way... I certainly lean more Kuwana than Yagami, but it doesn’t really sit right with me. I think this exchange between Higashi and Sugiura sums up my thoughts:

I suppose that’s the whole point, because even Kuwana feels that way about his own actions, saying that he’d be too ashamed to face Sawa in the afterlife. But then again, Ehara has a point when he says that GOD knows how long it’ll take for the system to do any type of change to hold bullies accountable for their actions.

So while I’m on the topic of Ehara...

His character really blew me away. He didn’t have a ton of screentime, but the time that he did have really stole the show. This line of his in particular really stood out to me, and strikes at the heart of why Yagami’s and Saori’s arguments are flawed.

I feel like it’s a more refreshing take on vigilantism. The focus is a lot less on punishing those who deserve it, and moreso on taking a stand for those who have been utterly abandoned. It’s a slightly more nuanced stance that I really appreciate. I feel that often times, vigilante characters are those who are either don’t have patience with the system, or view themselves as some kind of defender of justice. Kuwana, Ehara, and Reiko don’t fit in either of those cases though. They all really feel as though they were forced into their actions. They didn’t want to do it, but what other choice did they have? There’s an element of hopelessness and desperation that I feel really elevates their characters. The acknowledgment that they did something evil, but that’s just how it is, and what they had to do.

And speaking of necessary evils...

Kazuki Soma. Oh my god, what a character. Soma is really easy to brush off as just some run of the mill, sadistic murderer. And while that is true of his character, he also is a lot more than that.

It’s really fun to compare his morals and sense of justice with Kuwana’s, because Soma’s “big picture” mindset is exactly what Kuwana’s sense of justice is missing.

I don’t know if this was intended to be a dig at Kuwana, but it definitely works as one. Kuwana’s method of “haphazardly taking them out” (with “them” meaning bullies) really is just a patchwork approach at best and there’s no sense of direction or an end goal in sight.

While Kuwana is driven by emotions, focusing on the individual and short-term good, Soma’s sense of justice is driven more by logic-- a cold, detached view of the world in order to preserve a greater good. He very methodically analyzes his behavior and the world around him, and comes to the conclusion that his actions are necessary to maintain societal peace. The pleasure that Soma derives from his work absolutely makes him one sick bastard, and you may not agree with his logic, but it would be unfair to his character to deny that he makes some good points.

When you start to triangulate Yagami, Kuwana, and Soma’s characters and how they each define justice and morals, you start to get this really interesting web of gray morality. While the ideal sense of justice would be to combine the best aspects of all three definitions, that unfortunately can’t exist in the real world. So at what point in this web is the most “right”?

This triangulation also made for a much more emotionally compelling plot to me. Don’t get me wrong. I was (and still am) so emotionally invested in the first game. It was amazing with that sense of helplessness it instilled in the player. After Morita was clearly willing to turn a blind eye to the AD-9 testing, then what? You felt like your back was against the wall, with the entire world against you. Like Sugiura said, how could you be expected to fight that?

But in LJ, the plot feels much more... intimate. Yes, there’s the stuff with Bando and Public Security, but those sat relatively in the backseat throughout the game. When looking at Ehara’s trial, the point wasn’t to unravel the entire coverup and mess that was Public Security’s involvement. The appeal trial was simply to get Ehara to confess that he killed Mikoshiba. Even the most “big picture” crimes that Yagami wanted to solve were pretty localized when you look at them. Soma’s capture and Reiko turning herself in would mean that there would be justice for Sawa’s death, but it’s not like the goal was to take down Bando as well or topple RK as a whole.

Yagami really looked at Bando, RK, and Kuwana’s 5 other victims and said like “not my battle”. He recognized that it was outside of his reach-- he’s not powerful enough to do anything about it. All he can do is trust that Mafuyu and her team can sort out the Bando issue, and hope that Kuwana does some deep reflections on his actions and eventually turns himself in.

You know, this made me really gain a lot of respect for Yagami. To recognize his limitations and not get greedy and push his luck required an incredible amount of strength. It would’ve been so easy for him to try and capture Kuwana as well, but he knows that it won’t end well.

Yagami recognizes that he’s bound by the confines of a flawed system, but he’ll still do as much as he can to preserve and execute his own sense of justice.

... I feel like I’ve talked a LOT about the story and characters, so I’ll switch gears to jot down my other thoughts about the game.

The buzz words/chatter researcher was a GREAT way of finding sidecases. I absolutely loved it. It really made me feel like I was an actual detective, sniffing out cases around town.

Thank GOD Mafuyu stopped being this weird “is she or isn’t she” love interest for Yagami. It was really unclear as to how Yagami felt about her in the first game, but in LJ, I can definitely now believe him when he says “we aren’t like that”

I was really wary of the school stories, and how well the school setting would be integrated into the game, but it was perfect in my opinion. I loved seeing Yagami be the cool, dependable uncle figure to everyone, making sure that they get to have the experiences and opportunities that he missed out on.

Dancing in particular was SO FUN. I love going back and watching recordings of Esmeralda. Idk, it’s just so great to watch those funky little characters dance and have fun.

Itokura is a girlboss. That’s all I have to say.

Vorarephilia is a fucking BANGER of a track but my god, did RGG really have to name one of the best songs “vore”????

Speaking of the soundtrack, Rasen was an AMAZING opening song. When I realized that the full length version was released on the same day that Mitsuru tried to kill himself, I nearly cried. It was such an emotional song, and Ado was the perfect choice for the singer.

I really, really hope that the series doesn’t end here. Even if Kimura can’t be in the game anymore, I’d love to see an update on Kuwana’s character. I know that LJ’s ending makes it seem like he’s switching over to Yagami’s definition of justice, but I don’t actually see it that way. If anything, Kuwana might be changing his strategy to think more about his long-term goal.

When he reports the bodies, he does so anonymously, yet he makes it clear that all of his victims were bullies in the past.

Clearly, he has no intent of turning himself in right now. Is he staying hidden because he wants to make sure Soma is convicted of Sawa’s murder, and then he’ll reveal himself afterwards? Or is this his way of letting society know that there is someone out there, willing to hold them accountable to their actions if no one else will? Maybe in revealing his trump card, this is his way of signaling to other bullies that they aren’t safe and that revenge can come for them at any moment. It won’t be immediate, but vengeance WILL come for them.

The game gives no indication as to what Kuwana plans to do next. It’s open-ended, and I think expanding on that would make for a really strong third entry in the series.

Anyway, I'll stop this train of thought here because speculation about a potential sequel doesn’t belong in a review post.

tldr, I thought this was a really, really good game. 9.5/10 easily. This has certainly become my favorite RGG game, and I’m going to go ahead and say that this is just one of my favorite games of all time, period.

#amelia plays lj #3121 WORDS I AM SO SORRY #in case anyone doesn't feel like reading and just wants a tldr #AND I DON'T BLAME YOU IF THAT'S THE CASE #9.5/10 #this has jumped into my 'top games of all time' category #this is.. very loosely proofread so there are probably grammar/spelling errors #sorry in advance

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lawgrain · 3 years

Text

Okay hold onto your safety goggles ’m ‘bout to go off on a topic here.

I’ve seen random posts about how there's a stigma with people in ao3 fandoms. And there is. 100% so don’t get me wrong with this post, I won’t pretend that there isn’t a stigma from people in ao3 fandoms. But I am about to argue the complete other side of things real quick. Yep, I’m going into sports.

Before I get into sports I think it should be fully addressed that there is so much hypocrisy on both sides of the two very different types of fandoms, one being the types of fandom you find on ao3 and the other being sport fanbases. People in ao3 fandoms are quite made fun of for their avid fandom activites despite said passion also applies to sports fans even if its shown in different ways. On the flip side, a gross amount of people will also say that they don’t get sports and find it brutish and/or stupid. People on both sides discredit the other. So as a person who is primarily into ao3 fandoms, I thought it’d be fun to explain the appeal of sports in a way that non-sport fans would understand.

LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh and for examples today, I’m using hockey. It’s just the one I actually know more context for.

So, let’s kick it off with a slight anecdote here. My friend and I had asked a guy about the appeal of sports to them and the answer we got was that it was for the stories. Which that didn’t quite click to us when there’s literally no story, its a game. They furthered this impression with talk of stats. In short, they explained it wrong because there are some fascinating stories in sports.

The problem with sports is that there's not an overly easy way to learn some of these stories. But they are there if you know the context. So for example, in a fandom there’s a shit ton of retribution moments. Some hag of a character finally, finally gets just the perfect way of being told off. Its goddamn wonderful and you love life just for a moment b/c that character got exactly what you’ve been dying to see the entire series. That happens in sports too bro. Because trust me, there are...

Plenty of hated players. And it is pretty damn exciting when a player who constantly plays dirty to get some karma.

But the problem is, if you don’t know the rules/watch the game enough, you’re not going to understand that your favorite trope just happened. For example, lets look at this guy:

This is Corey Perry. Now he’s not very well loved by everyone and he has also been known to make dirty plays. As in literally just hitting a person with his stick like in here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PorOu02IeUc

or here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC6C10LYWZs

You can interpret these however you like. Either way, his playing style is part of what makes the next video here a bit more pleasing for fans. I’m going to explain context first though.

In hockey, there’s a penalty called embellishment. It’s used when a player dives on the ice or, more entertainingly, embellishes an injury or trying to make themselves look more hurt than they are. Players will sometimes try to embellish an injury so that their opponents get a penalty.

In this video Perry does exactly that. Some will try and say that maybe he is that hurt, but first consider how brutal hockey can actually be and this ain’t it, and that he is known to make some dirty moves. With that in mind, he basically pulls a Draco Malfoy with Buckbeak in this. Last thing to keep in mind, is that from what I’ve heard (but don’t quote me on it) he’s pulled stuff like this before. Now please enjoy his surprised Pikachu face at the end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO2F85RkJOY

Without any context, this either seems like an honest reaction or just sports eh. But with context, it’s quite fun. I didn’t actually care about the video until I found the context for it within the comment section. I initially watched it within a compilation though. It’s important to know what the penalty is apparently.

Also I will say, there are moments that penalty is actually infuriating and undeserved.

Changing topics, I can’t find a video of this (sports have an absurd amount of compilation videos but very little individual moment making things hard to find) buuuuut! There’s a moment between teams that I actually really liked when I found out the context of it. There was a fight that had started between two teams, as in the entire team went off, at a seemingly minor offense. The thing was the minor thing that happened was against the goalie and the opposing team had already done a lot of other icky thing in that particular game. Why is that important?

You don’t mess with the goalie.

It’s an unwritten rule of hockey but it’s got kind of a sweet sentiment? Hockey teams are generally more protective of their goalies. While there are definitely some volatile goalies, goalies aren’t typically going to be starting fights and are typically in less fights than the rest of the team ends up in. Also the goalkeeper is really important. Not only are they important but there's only two of them. In games where both goalies are injured and can't play, the team basically ends up screwed. The home team has to provide an emergency goalie if that happens and most the time that is a death sentence for the team. There are exceptions to that like this guy:

Which oh my gosh, if David Ayres isn’t one of the best stories in sports. This guy never played national league and was a zambodi driver for the maple leafs. Then he was brought in a the emergency player and helped beat the Maple Leafs. He blocked about three shots from the Maple Leafs, his employers, and the Canes won the game.

Point is, context makes a huge as difference in actually being able to enjoy stories within a game. Knowing how something is a karma moment, like with Perry, makes things click into place. Or knowing that a player has done something knowingly wrong like purposefully rushing into a goalie, makes you understand why people are mad about it. And people are mad right along with the players when they see that.

Same kind of stuff happens in fandom stories.

So I was actually going to add another hockey story but it’s actually really gory so I’m leaving it out. I’d be happy to make a separate post with what I was going to mention but that needs more warning than I can give here. So I’ll cut this short.

Anyway, my big point here was there’s actually some very interesting things within sports. I won’t act like everything has a deep meaning to it, but it’s a tad off to write off sports as just some guys throwing around a ball or hitting around a puck. People will watch this:

Or this:

Or even movies like these:

Because it gives the story with context in a drama filled way that’s clear to understand. Watching sports, the commentators don’t actually fulfill what people would need to understand the drama behind things. Watching sports can be just as drama filled and entertaining but you have to learn a lot of outside stuff.

Overall, fandoms of any kind are going to be similar in a lot of ways. Most don’t consider sports fandoms and the types of ao3 fandoms to be in the same field at all. And while I agree, that they aren’t quite in the same group, both can be entertaining for similar reasons. I just think a lot of people don’t get why sports are entertaining at all. I don’t argue that one has to find it entertaining or fall in love with sports now. All I’m meaning is that people shouldn’t just write off interests. People do that to regular fandoms all the time and attach stigmas to it. And because sports doesn’t feel like the same thing as a fandom, people in fandoms don’t seem to mind writing off the interests in sports in a similar manor. And people don’t always do that meanly but saying “You can like it, I just don’t get it” is writing it off to an extent. Because really, we can all get it to a certain degree even if it’s not out cup of tea.

That’s all! Again, let me know if anyone wants the random but kind of gory hockey knowledge I cut.

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prettyboylovemail · 3 years

Text

[Hana + Juzo] As Long As We’re Alive

FINALLY! I finished this fic that I’ve been working on all week!

I recently rewatched the Danganronpa 3 anime and wanted to figure out how my S/I would fit into the new killing game! Including interactions with my favorite character from the anime cause I can’t help myself 👀

(Also, for a bit of context: This takes place following my S/I from DR 1 surviving the Hope’s Peak Killing Game!)

As such, this will include anime spoilers!! Keep that in mind!

I worked super hard on this, so I hope you guys enjoy!!

Also a big big thanks to @duncanlovemail for helping me do some final edits and tweaks!! ❤️

—

In a split second, her life flashed before her eyes.

There were some good memories, sure, but mostly bad ones — memories of the last killing game she’d been forced to play overshadowed her happiest moments. And now, laying on the floor, staring wide-eyed at the tip of a katana, she could only remember the moments where she’d been this close to death.

But this time, she didn’t think she’d get to make it out alive.

There was a brief rustling sound from somewhere nearby, but Hana barely noticed it. It sounded as if someone was walking by and she silently begged that it’d be an ally. But as the footsteps grew fainter, she realized that she didn’t have any real allies left, and that she was only going to be left for dead.

The man behind the corner kept walking. He’d seen the fight, or rather, the one-sided attack, but he paid it no mind. With a scowl, he left Munakata to finish his work. Who cares how many insignificant people died? As long as he made it out alive, then Juzo would slaughter every other person here. If it meant that Kyousuke would be victorious, then he didn’t give a shit about the rest.

Then why?

Why did his chest tighten up at the sight? Why did he feel a twinge of guilt leaving her to die? It’s not like that girl was anyone special or important — just some rookie from another division — so why did he feel like a piece of shit as he turned his back on her?

“Dammit, Juzo, this isn’t like you,” the man muttered to himself through gritted teeth. “Get ahold of yourself and keep walkin’. It’s none of your business.” It wasn’t until the next thing he heard that he stopped in his tracks, listening.

“Please, I-I’m not on the side of despair! I d-don’t want to hurt anyone! Please, believe me!!”

The girl’s voice sounded desperate, like she was crying. Juzo swallowed thickly, trying to take another step, but feeling his entire body stiffen up. Her voice rang through his ears, echoing in the empty hallway, the sound piercing his chest like a knife.

“PLEASE, DON’T KILL ME!”

The man’s fists balled up, squeezing every ounce of strength that he could muster.

Shit!

“Kyousuke!” Juzo’s voice boomed through the hall as he spun on his heel. He felt the weight of his entire body shift and slam to a stop in front of the scene. Munakata paused and glanced up at him with no change in his cold expression.

“What is it, Sakakura?”

“Don’t worry about that one!” Juzo stepped forward, placing himself between Munataka and the helpless girl, frozen on the ground. “Your target is Makoto Naegi, isn’t it? Why waste your time on a brat like her?”

“Why are you interrupting?” Munakata’s eyes narrowed sharply. “Have you fallen to despair, Sakakura?”

“Don’t be stupid, of course not. But you know as well as I do that it’d be useless to kill this girl. She’s just some random kid, she doesn’t have anything to do with your plan.”

“She’s a survivor along with Naegi and the others. She’s in cahoots with them and as such, must be eliminated.” The katana glistened as Munakata turned it towards him. “And I will kill anyone who gets in my way.”

Juzo sharply inhaled. Was it really worth it, saving this kid at the threat of being turned on himself? He sent a glare behind him, seeing the frantic eyes of the shaking girl beneath him. Her eyes begged for him to save her, but pleading normally didn’t work on him. He turned back to Munakata and grit his teeth.

“What the hell’s gotten into you, man? Do you realize who you’re pointing that blade at?” Juzo raised his voice slightly. “I’m on your side, but right now, we need to focus on the real objective!”

“This is the real objective!”

There was only a moment to react. Time seemed to slow as the blade was swung, but not at him. The katana grazed past Juzo and towards the ground. He felt his heart stop as he reached out and—

“AGH!!” Juzo grunted out loud as the pain of steel cutting through flesh surged through his hand. Blood poured from the wound and it took all his might not to flinch back. He turned towards Hana, cowering barely a foot below the blade, and yelled. “GO!”

She took a sharp breath and squirmed away from the line of attack, barely able to keep her balance as her legs pushed her backwards. “W-What are you doing?” she managed to ask with a feeble voice.

Juzo gripped onto the katana with his opposite hand, keeping it in place as to not cut further into his hand. “Don’t ask stupid questions! Get the fuck out of here!! NOW!” His voice blared through the halls, shaking Hana out of her daze. She stood as quickly as she could and ran, hastily turning the corner.

“Sakakura! Why are you letting her escape?!” Munakata shouted. “You’re a traitor to the cause—”

“No! I’m not!! Just listen to me for once, god dammit!” Juzo pushed back against the sword, yanking his hand away from the blade and jumping out of range. “Naegi is still on the move right now! Once you get rid of him, you can exterminate the rest of these stupid brats, you hear me?” There was a pause. “I won’t get in your way again, but we’ve gotta track down that bastard Naegi first.”

Another pause as both men decided their next move. When Munakata backed down, Juzo did as well.

“You’re right.” Munakata sighed, lowering his sword and re-sheathing it.

Juzo let out a sigh as well. “Good. Now come on, let’s go search for the brat.”

“Alright…”

—

The two men walked down the empty hallways, searching, scanning every corner for an enemy. Neither of them said anything, and the atmosphere was only growing more tense with every passing minute.

“Kyousuke,” Juzo started, breaking the silence between them, “those wounds don’t look so hot. We should find you a first aid kit.” When he didn’t receive any response, he paused, before making an attempt to change the subject. “Hey, so—”

“What’s on your mind?” Munakata stopped

“Well, uh,” Juzo began, “Kimura’s been killed. Kizakura got poisoned, too. Oh, and Ando was stabbed by one of the survivor brats...” his voice trailed off. Munakata hadn’t reacted to a single thing he’d said and it was starting to throw him off. Did he care that their comrades were dying? Juzo glanced away. “I… just… thought you oughta know…”

“Tengan, as well.”

Juzo’s eyes widened, “No joke?”

Munakata’s voice was cold and unwavering. “I killed him myself.”

It took a moment to process what he’d said, but it was unmistakable. Kyousuke had murdered the chairman. Of course, Juzo was always on his side, but this… didn’t seem like him. And his best friend’s icy demeanor was really concerning him. He knew that Munakata was willing to do anything to achieve his goal, but this—

“Right, sure…” Juzo turned away, putting on a smile to hide his uncertainty as best he could. “Hey, that’s good! This is what we wanted, isn’t it? To purify the foundation.”

Munakata said nothing, just stared at his friend’s back as he continued.

“Heh. ‘Bout damn time. This baby’s in your hands now, chief. You’ve been promoted.” When he still received no response, Juzo continued further. “No one in their right mind is gonna contest it. The revolution’s over, and the spoils of war are all yours! I’ll help, of course. We’re gonna fix the Future Foundation! After that, the world.”

Finally, after a couple of moments, Munakata spoke. “The world, you say…” Juzo turned to face him. “Hey, Sakakura. We go back. You’ve been at my side for years in fact, since we were students.”

“Uh, yeah…?”

Munakata’s eyes closed. “We had our share of good times, the two of us, and Yukizome, of course. Eyes always on the future. Three friends intimately bound together by the same ideals.”

Juzo paused.

“Our mentors were supportive. Tengan always found the time to give me advice. I held firm that the world could change. That I could be the one to change it.” Munakata balled his fist, opening his eyes, but kept them focused down. “That conviction hasn’t left me. It’s as strong as ever…”

“Yeah, sure…” Juzo also looked away, “Hey, it’s strong in me too, ya know. Always has been.” He returned a determined gaze to his friend. “Backing you up’s been the whole point of my life. I take a lot of pride in throwin’ down for your ideals.”

“I know you do… And you’re right, my friend,” Munakata said with a heavy expression. “Without your unwavering support, I would’ve never made it this far.”

There were a couple moments of silence before Juzo spoke up again. “Look, I— There’s something I gotta get off my chest, okay?” His heart began to race. Why did he suddenly feel so nervous? Was it because he was finally going to say it? Finally going to tell Kyousuke how he’s always felt? Or… was it something else? Something more… disconcerting…? “To be totally honest with you—”

“Enough!”

And in a flash — before he could even react — a sharp, searing pain surged through his stomach as Munakata’s fiery blade pierced through his midsection. He coughed, blood erupting from his throat and filling his mouth with the revolting taste of iron before spilling from his lips. The smell of burning flesh filled the air in an instant.

What…?

“K-Kyousuke…”

Blood quickly spread from the wound and in the next second, Juzo’s feet gave way beneath him and he collapsed onto the cold ground. He lay there in agony as the severity of the situation hit him. He choked and gasped for a breath, craning his neck, struggling to look up at the man who’d betrayed him. “W-What the hell, man? Why… would you… do this?”

Munakata’s voice was just as cold and uncaring as it was before, and it sent a shiver down Juzo’s spine as he lay on the floor beneath him.

“You know why. You know exactly why.”

And with that, Munakata turned… and left. His words hung in the air over Juzo, who lay face down, cursing himself as he felt his senses begin to weaken. He didn’t bother to watch his friend leave him there. He couldn’t bear the sight.

Why did it come to this?

Dammit!! Why?!

Then everything faded to black.

—

Hana staggered through the halls, dragging her injured ankle beneath her. It’s not that bad, she told herself, as long as she could keep moving. As long as she was still alive. Her thoughts drifted back to earlier, when Juzo had saved her life. It’d been almost two hours since then, and the next time limit was approaching soon. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stumbled.

Why was she so useless?

Even in the previous killing game, she couldn’t do anything to protect her friends. She couldn’t save those she cared about. She just had to stand by and watch as the ones precious to her died brutal deaths.

That included him…

Hana stopped and pressed her back to the wall behind her as the tears she’d been trying so hard to hold in fell down her cheeks. Why did she have to think about him right now? The girl felt her knees weaken, and she slid down to the floor with a heavy breath. Here she sat again, completely powerless to stop the deaths happening around her, unable to do anything besides cry. She despised her weakness.

It might be better if I just sit here… and wait for someone to come and kill me…

As if on cue, the sound of footsteps pulled her out of her thoughts. One? No, two people, she guessed. Were they enemies? Friends? Hana’s thoughts raced. Should she run? Stay put? What would she do if someone attacked her again? Was… it even worth fighting back?

It wasn’t until she heard the sound of familiar voices that she stopped.

“Kyousuke, those wounds don’t look so hot. We should find you a first aid kit.”

Juzo? And Munakata is with him?

Hana froze up in a cold sweat. Juzo had saved her once, but he was still loyal to Munakata. If they were still together now, then— Her hands began to shake. He wouldn’t spare her again.

The sound of footsteps stopped as the two men continued talking just around the corner. Hana wondered if she should run, but her body remained stagnant, completely paralyzed.

“Tengan, as well”

“No joke?”

“I killed him myself.”

Munakata had gotten to the chairman already? Then, there was nothing stopping Munakata from killing everyone else too. Had he already killed Makoto too? Hana kept listening, as silently as possible.

“Look, I— There’s something I gotta get off my chest, okay? To be totally honest with you—”

“Enough!”

The sound that came from around the corner was enough to make Hana’s blood run entirely cold. The sound of metal plunging through flesh. The sound of Juzo crying out in pain. A heavy thud.

No way…

There’s no way…

“Why… would you… do this?”

“You know why. You know exactly why.”

Hana’s hands clasped over her mouth to keep herself from gasping. Her entire body shook and she felt dizzy. She knew that they weren’t aware of her presence, but hearing that felt… directed. If Juzo hadn’t stepped in to save her, if he’d just ignored her and left her to be killed, this wouldn’t have happened.

Juzo is going to die because of me.

Just like before—

I can’t do anything.

This is my fault!

Footsteps faded as Munakata walked in the opposite direction. Once she was sure he was gone, she risked a glance around the corner and saw Juzo lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. Her legs moved on their own as she rushed to his side, frantically checking his wounds. Thankfully, the stomach wound had mostly cauterized due to Munakata’s blade, but he was still bleeding out slowly. Hana took off her jacket and tried tying it around his stomach in a hurry. “God, please,” she gasped. “Please don’t die.”

Once she’d finished securing her makeshift tourniquet as much as possible, Hana wrapped her arms around the man, attempting to pull him up just enough to move him, to no avail. She just wasn’t strong enough to lift him, and dragging him would only cause more damage. “Damn it…” the girl cursed, frantically searching the area. She didn’t want to leave him here, but there was no way she was going to be able to carry him to safety by herself. She had to get help or—

“I’m not going to let you die, I promise.”

Hana stood and ran down the hall, looking for anyone who would be willing to help. Maybe if she found Makoto. Or Koda— Izayoi should be with her, right? Juzo said that Ruruka had been killed, she could only guess that Koda’s the one who’d done it. If she found the two of them, they could help—

“Please. Please. Anybody.”

—

Hana’s eyes fluttered open slowly, a groggy dizziness overtaking her as her vision attempted to clear, and she scanned the area around her, disoriented from just having woken up. She glanced down at the bangle donning her wrist, still displaying the forbidden action she’d been cursed with, and let out a deep sigh. She’d made it through another time limit alive.

Thank God…

She filed through her memories, trying to remember everything before she’d dozed off. She’d found Juzo laying on the floor, bleeding, after his falling out with Munakata; that part was clear. But after that— Hana frowned— she couldn’t really remember much. She postulated that the time limit had stopped her from finding help, and she figured that if Juzo were still alive, that she wouldn’t know where to look for him. She could only hope that he’d survived.

The girl staggered to her feet, slightly swaying from a lack of balance, and stretched her arms into the air. “Alright,” she muttered to herself, “what to do now?”

For a moment, she considered looking for an ally, someone who’d be willing to team up with her, but the thought was fleeting. With her forbidden action being as fragile and deadly as it was, Hana figured that it’d be best to stay alone for now, what with Munakata on the hunt. She counted the number of known victims in her head, trying to figure out who was left.

Makoto, Kyoko, Hina, Koda, Izayoi, Munakata, Ryota, and, maybe, Juzo.

Including herself, only nine people remained alive out of the starting seventeen. She grit her teeth. Too many people had died already.

History was repeating itself.

Suddenly, there was a screeching sound, signalling the overhead speakers turning on. Hana glanced up, trying to find where the noise was coming from, before a voice came through.

“Makoto Naegi.”

Munakata—!

“If you’re awake, I assume you’ve figured out what Kirigiri’s forbidden action was.”

She took a sharp breath and her body went rigid. Kyoko…? Her forbidden action? Hana’s eyes widened with shock.

Is Kyoko dead?!

The voice on the speakers continued, but Hana was only half listening as she repelled the urge to throw up. The pit in her stomach only continued to grow as she heard Munakata call Makoto to confront him alone. He was planning to kill Makoto, she’d already known that; but now, with Kyoko dead, he would be falling right into Munakata’s trap, spurred on by emotion and his relentlessness to push forward. That’s just always how he is — how he was back then too — and Munakata would be anticipating that.

Hana rushed from the room she’d taken shelter in, scanning the halls for anyone else. If Munakata was able to use the loudspeakers, then he should be in the broadcasting room, so if she just avoided there, then she would be fine and she could get help to back up Makoto. It wasn’t much, but she had to try.

The walls around her were broken and beaten to hell, with blood splattered against the dark concrete and rubble scattered across the floor at every turn. The sight made her nauseous, but she had to keep moving. No matter what, she had to push forward too.

As she turned a corner, Hana bumped into something solid and lost her balance. Her ankle twinged with discomfort and she let out a pained groan as she fell backwards. “Agh… shit.” Noticing movement in her peripheral, her eyes darted up to see what, or rather who, she’d crashed into, and she was hit with a wave of relief.

“Damn it. Can’t get anywhere without runnin’ into one of you brats, huh.”

“Juzo!” Hana exclaimed, half from the reassurance to see him alive, and half out of worry that he was still loyal to Munakata. Although, she considered, after what happened between them, she couldn’t say for sure that he was still on Munakata’s side. “How are your injuries?” As the girl stood, her eyes drifted to his midsection; the tourniquet she’d wrapped around him was gone, but his wound wasn’t actively bleeding anymore. Juzo must’ve noticed the concerned look on her face, as he only scoffed in return.

“I’m fine. What’d’you care anyway?”

She made a dejected noise of acknowledgement and glanced away. “Sorry, is that a bad thing?” When he didn’t reply, Hana let out a soft exhale. “I saw what happened… between you and Munakata. I know it’s not really my place to intervene, but I couldn’t just… leave you there, ya know?”

Juzo sighed, a low growl escaping his throat, “So you saw all that.” He looked down at the ground, an expression on his face that was somewhere between anger and sadness. He clearly felt betrayed. Understandable, all things considered. “Fuck,” he cursed as he sat on a nearby slab of rubble, “this whole thing is such bullshit! How did it get this far?”

Hana stayed silent, watching the man in front of her. He was normally so aggressive and strong, but seeing his posture fall and his confidence crumble, it filled her heart with a nostalgic sadness. The same feeling that she had before, before that sickening execution, seeing someone so strong that she had nothing but admiration for collapse into weakness and despair. That feeling of helplessness as she couldn’t do anything but watch from the sidelines. It hurt to see the same thing happening yet again.

“I’m sorry…” Hana spoke gently as she sat beside him. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and keeping her gaze fixated on the floor. “...for what happened. If you hadn’t had to save me, he wouldn’t have—”

“Shut up.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t have to save you. Hell, I thought that I should’ve let you die back there.” Juzo spat out his words with no hesitation. “Even I wondered why I bothered to step in.” Hana didn’t say anything, and only kept her eyes on the ground. “But what’s done is done. And even if I didn’t come to save your sorry ass, Kyousuke already had it in his head to betray me. Leaving you there wouldn’t have prevented anything.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Hana mumbled. “You two were so close. Why would he have tried to kill you if he didn’t think you were on Makoto’s side?”

There was a pause.

“That’s the question, ain’t it…” Juzo sighed. “I gave everything to show him I wouldn’t hesitate to kill for his ideals. I really would’ve killed that bastard Naegi with my bare hands to prove that.” He slumped over, raising his wrist to clearly see the band hanging from it, “If it wasn’t for this damn thing, I could’ve done it by now.”

“But would killing Makoto really have put a stop to all this?” the girl questioned, sending a glance over her shoulder.

“Dunno. Don’t really care either, at this point.”

Another pause, this one longer than the last.

“Then, let’s end this game.”

“Huh?” Juzo scowled at the girl. “What do you mean by that?”

Hana’s eyes glinted with determination, “The attacker is still out there, right? That’s why there’s a new victim after every time limit. So if we can find and stop the attacker before the next time limit happens, then the game should end!”

“Forget it. If you wanna get yourself killed, then go right ahead, but I’m done.” The man’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t give a shit what happens to the rest of you.”

“But you want this game to end too, don’t you? Or would you rather just stay locked up in here forever?”

“Tch. Even if you think you could find the attacker, how would you be able to stop them? They only show themselves when everybody’s knocked out, so how do you plan to fight them?” He gestured down to Hana’s leg. “And with your busted up foot, I doubt you’d be able to handle yourself if push came to shove.”

That seemed to make the girl back down, as her shoulders slumped in realization. “Well. I don’t know yet. But I still want to try, ya know?” Her eyebrows knitted together. “If I don’t do anything, it’s only a matter of time before everyone is killed off one by one. I don’t want to let that happen again.”

Juzo groaned in frustration, “Right, I get it. You’re trying to play hero just like Naegi, aren’t ya. Cause of that other killing game, right?” Hana kept quiet. “Jeez, you brats are all the same, thinkin’ you can change things by stickin’ your necks out. So damn annoying.”

He gave her another harsh glare. “So what if I entertain your little suicide mission, huh? How do I know you aren’t just pullin’ a fast one on me, trying to get me to lower my guard?”

“What?”

“Say, hypothetically, that you’re actually the attacker. What makes you think that I can just blindly trust anything you have to say?”

Hana paused and stared at his face before sighing and closing her eyes. She moved her wrist into view, showing off her bracelet, and the message that circled around it in big, red letters.

SUSTAINING AN INJURY THAT DRAWS BLOOD

“I haven’t shown anybody this,” Hana said quietly. “I’ve been too worried that someone would use it against me, so I’ve been avoiding everyone else.” Her voice was soft, yet full of resolve. “Earlier… even if I could’ve somehow escaped from Munakata alive on my own, one tiny cut from his blade would’ve been enough to do me in. If you hadn’t come when you did, I would’ve absolutely died... one way or another. All it would take is the smallest drop of blood, and I would be dead.”

“So, what?”

“So that means that I’m willing to put my trust in you. Maybe that’s a dumb decision, but I don’t want to doubt people anymore! And if I don’t do anything, more people will just keep dying. If that means taking a few risks, then so be it.”

“Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time. But unless we can get these stupid bracelets off, we can’t do shit. You’ve gotta accept that.” Juzo paused. This girl, as annoying as she could be, was persistent to say the least — more stubborn than he would’ve given her credit for. It reminded him of before, back when Chisa was still alive. She was persistent and determined, just like that. She wasn’t the strongest person, far from it. She was emotional and irritatingly cheerful sometimes, and the look that Hana had on her face right now looked exactly like her.

Juzo glared at the girl for a moment, studying her expression for any hint of ulterior motive. It wasn’t like he thought she had it in her to play mind games, but with everything that's happened up to now, he couldn’t underestimate anyone. Not again.

“Tell me something. I’ve been wondering for a while. ”

“Hm?”

“Why do you keep following me around, anyways? You’re not gonna confess your love or something, are you?”

Hana was clearly caught off guard by the question, but found herself giggling in reply. She brought up her hands to dismiss the implication. “No, no way. Believe me, I don’t have any interest in you like that.” She gave him a smug look. “Plus, I don’t really think I’m your type—”

“Get on with it.”

The girl laughed, “Got it, sorry.” A moment passed and she gazed off somewhere down the hall, a forlorn look gracing her features. “Well, it’s just that…”

“...?”

“...You remind me of someone. That’s all.”

Juzo gave her a questioning look, but she paid it no mind. “So that’s it, huh.” He’d be lying if he said the sentiment wasn’t at least a little bit mutual, but he’d rather die before saying that out loud. “Well, I couldn’t give a damn about that.”

“I know.” With a soft chuckle, Hana kept her eyes down. “It’s kinda silly, isn’t it? To try and keep someone’s memory alive by projecting them onto someone else… it’s stupid to think that’ll help anything. But even so… it’s given me a little bit of courage.” Hana faced Juzo with a bright, albeit somewhat forced, smile. “So it can’t be all bad, right?”

“Tch…” The man clicked his tongue in annoyance. “If you say so.”

The sound of a distant rumbling caught both of their attention and they shot to attention. Juzo jumped to his feet, while Hana’s entire body straightened up.

“That has to be Munakata! He should be fighting Makoto right now,” Hana exclaimed. “We have to help!”

“I told you to forget it! You’re already hurt. You shouldn’t even be walking around so much, much less trying to fight,” Juzo snapped back at her.

“But if I don’t, then Makoto’s going to die!”

“So be it! If he decided to confront Munakata, that’s his own damn business! This isn’t your fight to meddle in!”

“I’m not going to sit back and let another one of my friends get killed!” Hana shouted, standing on her wobbly legs. “If you’re going to still side with Munakata after all of this, then fine, but I’m going to try to help my friends!” She only made it a few steps before a hand gripped her wrist and forcibly yanked her backwards.

“Don’t be stupid! Just stay here and don’t get in the way, otherwise you’ll end up dying too, you hear me?!” Juzo yelled, squeezing the girl’s arm tight so she couldn’t break free. “If you’re so fucking concerned, then I’ll handle it.”

“What are you talking about?” Hana asked, wincing at the pain in her wrist.

“You said it yourself! The tiniest cut would be enough to kill you, wouldn’t it? So just find somewhere to hide and stay put.” He released her arm and the girl pulled back to rub the spot he’d grabbed. At this point, Juzo didn’t even know what he planned on doing, but all he knew was that this stupid girl was going to get herself killed if she tried to fight Munakata again. Regardless of how he personally felt about the matter, he knew that her determination would be useless in this situation. “You’ve already done enough, so just stay outta sight and don’t die, got it?!”

Hana stepped back, a confused look on her face, but ultimately didn’t make any more attempts to oppose him. She exhaled softly and nodded.

“Okay.”

And without a second thought, Juzo ran off into the darkness.

—

Shit… Why’d I let myself get roped into this…?

Juzo breathed heavily, grasping at his sleeve, soaked in blood, as he staggered through the dark halls. He figured it was almost time for the next time limit, although he couldn’t be sure of that anymore. Sweat beaded on his forehead as the throbbing pain surged through his left arm, and he risked a glance down to where the bangle had once been. With his hand now gone, he was free from risk of being poisoned, but the cost of passing out from the pain wasn’t far behind him.

“D-Damn...it…” he muttered through strained breaths, “This is… all ‘cause of… that girl…”

He thought back to their earlier conversation. He had no initial plans to take what she’d said to heart, not like this, but seems that today was full of surprises, wasn’t it? All that shit he’d said before was just a means of shutting her up at the time, but after pondering it for a while, he realized what he had to do.

He’d set off to find Munakata and Naegi, to stop them from fighting, by however he deemed necessary. Whether that be by stopping Kyousuke again, or by killing the brat that started all of this, he would end this damn game. It wasn’t until the beeping of his wristband caught his attention, to signal that the time limit was fast approaching, that he remembered Hana’s plan. As reckless as it was, he knew that if one of them were to be able to pull it off, it would be him. That’s when the solution to get rid of the bracelet came to mind, and if it took a drastic measure, then that’s what he’d do. So he endured through the pain, biting the fabric of his jacket, grinding it between his teeth as he did what needed to be done.

But now, as he wandered the empty halls, with only the ominous glow of red from the monitors to guide his path, he wondered if he’d made the right decision. He had barely any strength left, why waste it on trying to fight off the attacker when he should be preserving it just to stay standing? Bullshit...

That’s when he heard it, the sound of screaming echoing in the darkness. Was somebody getting attacked? It almost sounded like—

Juzo took off in a sprint, dashing through the hallways. Anger surged through his body like electricity, but he skidded to a sudden stop at the sight before him.

Makoto Naegi, kneeled on the floor, a knife poised to his throat.

In a split second, Juzo was at top speed again, his strides slamming into the ground with every step.

I don’t think so, you little bastard!

One swing was all it took to knock the knife from the boy’s hands. He paused in confusion, looking around for a second before Juzo gripped him by the arm and raised him to eye-level, slamming his elbow to Naegi’s throat. He writhed and flailed under the pressure of being choked, but Juzo didn’t waver.

“You’re the man who defeated Junko Enoshima. If you think I’m going to let you kill yourself, then you’re dumber than you look!” he growled, pressing his arm further against the boy’s neck. “You hear me, you little punk?! Not now. Not ever!”

After a few more seconds of struggling, Juzo released Naegi, letting him fall to the floor in a heap as the boy coughed and gasped for air. He looked up at the man in confused distress. “H-How are you even—?!”

Juzo picked the knife from the floor, gripping the handle. “You wanna die so bad, then allow me.” He raised the blade, fully intending to strike and end this right then, but stopped himself mid-swing when Naegi recoiled. He looked pathetic, like a small animal cowering in fear of its predator. Juzo scoffed and dropped the knife, his feet collapsing beneath him as his strength started to waver. “Dammit…”

“How are you still awake?” Makoto asked, staring at Juzo intently. That’s when the boy noticed the crimson-soaked sleeve and gasped, “Y-You cut off your arm?” He looked at the man with concerned eyes. “Well, that’s one way, I guess.”

“Figured I could make the scene before it happened…” Juzo muttered, his energy depleting quickly, “I could meet whoever’s behind this god-forsaken game face-to-face. Take out the attacker and be done with it.”

Naegi’s eyes widened when he realized Juzo’s intention, and paused. “There is no attacker. There never was.”

“...Huh?”

“It was suicide. The victims— They were all brainwashed into killing themselves by what they saw on the monitors.” Juzo followed Naegi’s gaze up to the glowing monitor. “When the time limit was up, we were all knocked unconscious. But whoever was closest to a monitor got woken up by a special signal from their bangles. Awake and alone, they were subjected to a video. After that…” his voice trailed off, leaving the implication as it stands.

Juzo slumped over, his expression darkening. “Who did this? What sicko piece of shit thinks this is entertaining?”

“That, I don’t know. At least not yet.” Naegi raised a hand to his chin in thought. “But they wouldn’t even need to be here for it to work.”

“What are you tellin’ me? They could’ve set this up? Controlled it remotely?”

“Probably.” Naegi straightened up, sending a determined smile over in the man’s direction. “On the bright side, at least we don’t have to suspect each other anymore.”

Juzo could only laugh at what he was hearing. Rage boiled through his veins, and it took everything in him to keep himself in check. “So what are we supposed to do now? It’s all a shell game. We’ve been manipulated from some unknown other place. Killing each other like a bunch of animals.

“Yukizome. Gozu. Kimura. Some video brainwashed them into taking their own lives? All the horrible things we’ve done to smoke out the killer and it’s been us?!” Juzo gripped the handle of the knife in his fist once again, shaking with anger. He slammed the blade against the concrete, breaking it in half. “Son of a bitch!”

There was a long pause as Juzo took a breath and collected himself. Everything he’d done — everything he’d tried to prove — it was all for nothing. This entire damn game has been nothing more than a way for some bastard in a far-off place to enjoy a good show while they all chased their tails like a pack of rabid dogs. Juzo stood again, turning and taking a few steps down the hall.

“What are you doing?”

Juzo gritted his teeth. These fucking brats and their million questions. What did it matter what he did now? Why was everyone so concerned about him and whatever he was doing?! “I have somewhere to be,” he forced out. Really, he didn’t know where he was going to go, or what he was going to do. Nothing mattered anymore.

“Let’s end this game.”

He paused, stopped dead in his tracks. What the hell? Did all these survivor kids have the same brain, or was it just coincidence that this brat said the exact same useless shit that she did? Whatever, he didn’t care. He didn’t have to listen.

But of course, that didn’t stop the words from coming. “If we destroy all the monitors, that should do it,” Makoto urged.

“Heh.” Juzo sent a glance over his shoulder. “You got any idea how many of those things there are?”

“B-But—”

“Don’t let me stop you. Just don’t expect me to help either.” With those words, Juzo continued walking. That’s right. It didn’t concern him. He didn’t give a shit what the others did anymore. But still, that uncomfortable twinge of guilt in his chest tugged at him. The same one he felt when he saved that girl’s life. Juzo tried to force the feeling down, but it stayed, regardless, and his feet stopped yet again. He remained quiet for another second before breaking the silence. “True story… I wanted you to die. I’d have gladly done it myself.

“See, I’m not a man who can just forgive and forget. I hated you. No, from the moment you walked out of Hope’s Peak High School alive, I loathed you. Despised you,” Juzo growled. “So, I’m not gonna lie, when Munakata told you to kill yourself, I thought, ‘it’s about damn time’.”

“But why?” came the feeble voice of the kid he hated so much, “I don’t…”

“Because…” Juzo glared back at him. “You defeated Junko Enoshima.”

When he saw the confused look on Naegi’s face, he continued. “Yeah, that’s right. Bitch played me like a fiddle. I knew she was up to something, and I kept my mouth shut.” The anger he’d been feeling surfaced even faster as he balled his fist. “I had one job and I botched it. So this is the result…” Juzo raised his mutilated arm and gave the boy a pained smirk. “It’s all on me. I couldn’t stop everyone dying... I couldn’t kill you for Munakata...

“And in the end...” Juzo’s eyes narrowed, his eyes stinging and his chest throbbing, “he threw me away. Like an old pair of boots.”

“He was wrong! It’s the game!” Naegi called after him. “The man was fooled into thinking you’d gone over to the enemy!”

Juzo kept walking, gripping his injured arm as he stepped into the darkness.

“Tch… No kidding…”

And this time, he didn’t turn back.

—

“Dammit…”

He didn’t think anything mattered anymore. He knew that whatever he did at this point would ultimately be useless. But… even so…

“If I don’t do anything, more people will just keep dying. If that means taking a few risks, then so be it.”

He kept walking. Kept moving. Through the pain and the dizziness, he kept pushing forward. Was this because of that that girl said? Or because of the brat? Or were these his own thoughts? Juzo didn’t know anymore. With every blood-stained step, his breathing staggered. Every motion felt like a hundred bricks weighed on his shoulders. But he had to keep moving. As long as he was alive, then he could fight.

Juzo pushed on, making his way towards the breaker room. His movements were slow and heavy, but determined to make it there. As he stepped through the Monokuma-printed door leading into the hidden room, he scoffed at himself, at the effort he was making. “Well, damn. Guess I’m a Despair now…” he let out a dry laugh that came out as more of a cough. “Wish I could find the humor in—”

He didn’t have time to finish his sentence before his foot gave way beneath him, causing him to stumble forward and crash into the wall. A cry of pain erupted from the man’s throat as he collapsed and slid down the wall, leaving a bloody trail behind him. And as Juzo lay crumpled on the ground, bleeding out from the wounds he’d sustained, he smiled. “This is what I get for letting Enoshima off the hook…” Everything in him wanted to give up, wanted to close his eyes and fall into the depths of darkness right then.

But he couldn’t die yet. Not until he’d finished what he said he’d do.

Not until this fucking game came to a bitter end.

With the last quarter of strength he could muster, he pushed himself onto his knees, draping his body against the breaker room door in order to force it open. He gazed down at the long line of switches. “Always been too much of a softie,” the man grinned to himself.

Juzo reached up, struggling to move through the crippling agony, and grabbed the first switch.

“...‘Least that’s what they’ll say about me.”

—

Hana sat alone with her knees pressed to her chest. It’d been too long, and the silence was starting to drive her crazy. What was everyone else doing right now? Was anyone else even alive? The thoughts that plagued her mind had continued to worry her, but she forced them down.

Everything’s fine. We’re going to make it out of here. All of us.

Then suddenly, everything went black. Hana jumped, startled by the sudden change, but relaxed slightly when the emergency lights came on. The room she’d hidden in was then illuminated a deep red, and the girl stood up to investigate. “Does this mean…?”

She peeked out into the hallway, not seeing anyone nearby. The girl stepped out and her foot swelled up in pain at the sudden movement, but she didn’t stop. Hana staggered along the wall, looking for anyone else to confirm what she’d thought. However, she didn’t have to wonder for much longer. With one final beep, the wristband that’d acted as her shackle for the entirety of the game snapped and fell to the ground. Hana touched her wrist, finally freed from the burden of death, and she let out an exasperated breath.

Is the game finally over?

It only took a couple minutes of walking to notice a few drops of blood on the ground. Her eyes followed the trail, seeing the drops become larger and more frequent as they moved down the hall. The dots began to connect in her head, but she shook them away, not wanting to assume the worst. She followed where they led and was brought to a room she hadn’t been to before.

“A library?” she questioned aloud, seeing multiple bookshelves lining the walls, “Or maybe a study?” Her inquiries were cut short, however, at the sight of a body coming into view from behind the couch. Hana let out a gasp at the startling sight. Ruruka lay on the ground, a singular gash across her neck, a puddle of blood recently drained from the wound. Her eyes were wide; her expression twisted in shock and pain. She must’ve been caught off guard, Hana assumed. A closer look revealed something glinting from inside the corpse’s mouth, what looked like a piece of blue candy on her tongue.

They did say she’d been stabbed, but did Koda really do this? She was never the type to murder someone in cold blood, even if it was someone she hated.

As brutal as the scene was, Hana gulped heavily and attempted to move past it as best as she could. Ruruka probably deserved it in all honesty, as horrible as that sounded, but that didn’t make seeing her dead body any easier to handle. Once she met up with Koda and Izayoi later, she could ask them about it, but she shook her head to rid herself of the image. Ending the game was the top priority. So she continued deeper into the room.

The trail of blood, now in large puddles, led into another area, a space behind one of the bookshelves that’d been pried open, it looked like. Hana glanced inside to find a hidden room, one a lot darker than the previous one. She stepped inside, following the trail further until she entered a final door. And when she peered inside, she froze.

That’s…!

Slumped against the back of the room, one hand on the final switch, lay the familiar figure of Juzo. She rushed to his side to check for any signs of life. Considering the amount of blood he’d lost on the way here, it was unlikely that he was still alive, but—!

“Oh God…” Hana stared into his face, eyes closed and a peaceful smile gracing his lips.

She checked his mouth for breathing. Nothing.

“No, no, damn it.”

Checked his neck for a pulse. Nothing still.

“God, please…”

She pressed her ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat, every movement more frantic and worried than the last. Tears stung her eyes.

I can’t be too late!

But then—

Bu-bump.

A heartbeat. Faint, but still barely there.

Bu-bump.

Another one, even fainter than the last.

He’s still alive—!

Hana stood, her body shaking and her breathing ragged, and dashed from the room as quickly as her legs could move. “I promised that I wouldn’t let you die, dammit! I can’t fail now!”

She ran and ran and ran, turning every corner at top speed, searching for anyone who could help. Anybody. That’s when she heard the faint sound of voices at the end of the hallway. She didn’t know who, but she didn’t care. “Help!! Anyone, please help!!” she shouted into the darkness, praying that someone would hear her and come to her aid.

“Fujiwara?” a voice echoed back.

As she ran farther down the hall, multiple people came into view, and tears of relief spilled from her eyes. The figures of her friends, as well as a platoon of soldiers that’d presumably been ordered to search for survivors, relieved the immense weight on her shoulders. “Makoto! Byakuya!”

Finally, finally. They were saved.

“There you are!” Makoto exclaimed. “We hadn’t heard from you all day, we thought you were dead!”

“Don’t worry about me right now! Juzo needs help!” Hana shouted with as much conviction as she could muster. “He’s in the breaker room! He doesn’t have much time left, but he’s still alive!” She turned to Byakuya and his squad of reinforcements, in tears. “Please, we have to save him!”

Byakuya paused for a moment, taking in the information, before barking an order to his crew. “Three of you, follow Fujiwara to the breaker room and ensure Sakakura’s safety! The rest of you will follow Munakata and Naegi to stop Mitarai! Now! Go!”

“Yes, sir!”

—

The sun peered through the blinds into the hospital room, shining more light on the already blindingly white room. Juzo stirred a bit, then begrudgingly opened his eyes with a strain. He attempted to sit up, but the overwhelming pain caused him to fall backwards onto the bed.

“I wouldn’t attempt to move for a while. You won’t be fully healed for quite some time.”

“E...Eh?” Juzo struggled to see who was speaking to him, and squinted to see blonde hair and the shine of glasses being pushed up the bridge of the man’s nose. “Y-You’re… that rich kid… from the Hope’s Peak survivors…” he forced.

“Byakuya Togami, Future Foundation: 14th Division,” he scoffed, crossing his arms hastily over his chest. “I’d be offended that you don’t remember who I am, but I’ll give you a pass due to your injuries.”

“What are...you doing here? Why am I… still alive?”

Byakuya sighed, “Well, to answer the first question, it’s been about 4 hours since the killing game ended. I’m only passing through on official business to check in on the status of the remaining survivors. Naegi and the other members are also here on business as well, albeit in separate rooms.”

“Tch…”

“And as for the latter,” Byakuya continued, sending a glance over his shoulder, “this one practically begged me to save your life.”

Juzo followed the blonde’s eyes to see a sleeping girl sitting hunched over in a chair in the corner of the room. The man clicked his tongue and pressed his head back into the pillow.

“She’s the one who found you, barely breathing, and ran all the way to come find someone and led my squad back to your location. Once my team brought you into custody, we rushed you to the medical tent. It’s a miracle that you survived, honestly.” Byakuya sent a sharp glare in Juzo’s direction. “The fact that you’re still alive is extremely lucky. I’d be sure to give her your thanks when given the opportunity.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear ya,” Juzo sighed, but ultimately didn’t say anything else.

“Well, now that you’re awake and are showing no signs of falling into comatose.” Byakuya stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It seems my work here is finished.” The man turned towards the door, taking a couple strides before stopping. “We’ll have to hold another meeting again soon to discuss the plans of the Future Foundation, but I would rest while you can. We’ll take care of everything for now.” And with that, Byakuya left.

Juzo’d only been half listening, honestly, but he got the general gist. Still, he closed his eyes, processing everything he’d heard. The killing game was over, and he’d actually survived it. He had fully expected to die at the time, and had accepted that fact, but he made it out alive, thanks to her. He mentally laughed at himself. It was always thanks to her, wasn’t it? The only reason he was even able to end the game in the first place was because of her saving his life after being stabbed. And it was because of what she said that he kept fighting to the end.

I’m so damn pathetic, aren’t I? When did I get this soft…?

Then he drifted back to sleep.

—

Time will always pass. No matter the hardships, the tears, and the pain, life will always go on. Maybe the memories wouldn’t fade right away, not for days or weeks, even months or years, but with every passing day comes a new opportunity to make the best of your situation.

Bad memories may linger, but life moves forward.

Hana stepped into the sun, a gentle breeze blowing wisps of her hair into her face. It’d been a week since then, and things have been getting back to normal as quickly as possible. The Future Foundation was still working on rebuilding their headquarters, as well as it’s credibility with the public, and they were still trying to figure out what to do with its remaining members. But despite all of that, the girl smiled at the bright blue sky above her.

They’d made it. Through everything, they’d made it.

“You seem awfully cheery for someone still hobbling around on one leg,” came a man’s voice from behind her. She recognized it instantly.

“What are you doing moving around out here, Juzo?” Hana turned where the voice was coming from. “You aren’t fully healed yet, ya know.”

Juzo scoffed, “I got tired of layin’ around in that stuffy room every day. Can only take so much boredom before I end up wanting to off myself.”

The girl put her hands on her hips and sighed, but made no objection. “Geez. If you keep pushing yourself, you’re only gonna have to stay longer.” She gave him a smirk. “Well, whatever. Just don’t get caught by the hospital staff.”

“Doesn’t matter to me. It’s not like I’m leaving the hospital grounds. Just gettin’ some air is all.”

“I know, but still.” She gestured for him to sit on a nearby bench and he reluctantly obliged, to which she joined him as well. After a couple moments of silence, gazing off into the distance, Hana spoke quietly. “Things have gotten pretty crazy lately, huh…” she muttered, “never expected it to end up like this…”

Juzo stared at the girl as she spoke before closing his eyes and leaning back into the bench. “I get what you mean. For one thing, I figured I’d be dead by now.” When Hana didn't reply, he changed the subject. “Did you guys ever figure out what happened to Munakata? Or where he is?”

She shook her head. “No, we didn’t,” the girl answered, “he wandered off somewhere and told us not to follow him, from what I heard. Mentioned something about bearing his own cross. I don’t think he’ll be coming back to the Future Foundation anytime soon.”

“Damn it,” Juzo huffed under his breath. “He’s always been like that. Thinking that he has to take on all of the burdens alone. He’s such an idiot.”

“I don’t think it’s stupidity.”

“What’re you gettin’ at?”

“I think he’s concerned about you and the others in his own way. ‘Course, I can’t say for sure, since I didn't really know him that well. But it seems to me like he recognizes that what he did was wrong and wants to put some separation between himself and the organization to allow for healing.

“For both the Future Foundation and also for himself,” Hana spoke gently, “I think he needs this time alone to reflect. We shouldn’t urge him to come back if he isn’t ready to.”

“Don’t get all preachy on me,” Juzo retorted. “I know all that already.”

The girl airily laughed a little, “Sorry…”

“So,” Hana leaned back, pulling one knee up to her chest, “what are you gonna do now? After you’re discharged, I mean.”

“Hell if I know…” the man sighed. “‘Dunno what I’m supposed to do now.”

The girl hummed in response. “Well… what do you want to do? Plan on looking for Munakata?”

“No. If he decided that he’d rather be alone, then I have no reason to chase after him anymore…” Juzo’s eyes fell to the ground. Before Hana could respond, he continued, “What about you? What are you gonna do now that the Future Foundation’s in shambles?”

“Hm, I don’t know…” She placed her chin against her knee, thinking deeply, “I think I just want to go home… wherever that is now…”

“Yeah,” the man let out a small breath, letting his gaze drift into the distance, “same…” After a few minutes, Juzo spoke up again, breaking the silence. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

He paused, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to mentally piece together the right words, “Why…’d you bother savin’ me back there? I get the first time was to pay me back for helpin you out against Munakata, but—”

“Because… I promised I wouldn’t let you die.”

“Huh?”

Hana brushed a few strands behind her ear and looked down, “I made that promise to myself and I… couldn’t break it, no matter what.”

“What’s up with that?” Juzo snapped back, “You got some kinda hero complex?”

She gave him an embarrassed smile and an empty chuckle, “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just…” she hesitated for a second, “someone I knew was… very stubborn about keeping any promise he made. And I guess that sorta just… rubbed off on me.”

“I see how it is,” the man replied, “one of the kids from the Hope’s Peak Killing Game, right?”

A light blush appeared on Hana’s cheeks as she pressed her lips together and fidgeted her thumbs in her lap. “W-Well…”

“Lemme guess, you had a crush on the guy. Then he died, so now you feel like you’ve gotta keep up his ideals in his place,” Juzo said frankly, not wavering for a second. “Sound about right?”

The small squeak that the girl made, along with her face turning a deeper shade of red by the moment, promptly answered his question. “T-That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Juzo sneered. “But whatever, it’s not like I care to pry into some brat’s love life.”

Hana glanced away, leaning her cheek against her knee once again, “I know I mentioned it before, but you kinda reminded me of him, ya know. I think that’s another reason why I told myself that I had to save you, no matter what happened.”

“Uh-huh?” Juzo paused, giving her a questioning look. “You’re still not gonna say you like me or some sappy shit like that, are you?”

“I already told you it’s not like that!” the girl huffed.

“Just checkin’.”

“It’s more like… I dunno,” the girl thought for a moment, “you’re both so strong and aggressive and stubborn, but you’ve both got a soft side too. You care about your friends and are willing to do anything to protect those who are close to you. That’s something I really admire, so…”

“Tch, you don’t need to say anything else. I understand.” Juzo also looked away, an embarrassed expression on his face. “I’m not that big a softie.”

“I know, I know. But still…”

The two sat in silence for a while longer, watching a couple birds fly from their perch on a telephone wire. The wind blew softly. Even with all of the chaos happening around them, everything still seemed so peaceful. They still had a lot of work to do; the war against despair wasn’t completely over yet, but for now…

Things were okay.

With a loud sigh, Hana stood. “Welp! Nothing’s gonna get done if we keep sitting around here.”

“Take it easy. Didja forget you’re still bandaged up too?” Juzo scolded. “You don’t need to push yourself either. Take your own advice for once, will ya?”

Despite Juzo’s harsh tone, Hana giggled. “Don’t worry, I’m alright. I’m mostly healed now. You’re the one in a lot worse condition, but yet here you are still walking around.”

“I’m a lot more sturdy than you are. I can take it.”

“Mhm, sure. You don’t need to act all tough.”

“Shut it.”

“Got it, sorry,” she said with a dismissive laugh. “But, I should really be getting back to the others. Gotta check in on some official Future Foundation business before I go home.” The girl gave a bright grin before turning her back to him.

Juzo paused before pushing himself up as well, leaning heavily on his crutch. “Right. Duty calls, I guess.” He watched her back for a moment. “Hey, kid.”

“What is it?”

“If… you ever need anything. Just gimme a call, alright?”

Hana smiled softly and nodded.

“Okay!”

- END -

#this is so long i'm so sorry #but ahhhh it's done!!!#i'm actually really proud of myself for finishing this #so i'd really appreciate anyone who actually reads the whole thing fdjkgkjdff #anyways tho!!#i had so much fun with this #i hope yall enjoy!!#self insert // danganronpa #juzo sakakura #my writing #also also this is supposed to be platonic #i'm hoping it'll stay that way dsjknfdn

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