#And it's all stuff that I grew up hearing and I'm trying to see myself in a better light while taking care of myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

markster666 · 3 months

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Hey! I noticed you write smut for everyones favorite deer man. Episode 5 was getting to me with those tentacles! i was wondering if you could write something to do with that when you get the chance? 👀

Yes I do! Your wish is my command. <33

ALASTOR X READER (SMUT/18+) - TENTACLES

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: Smut, 18+, Double Penetration, Tentacles, Porn without much plot, Daddy Kink, Master Kink, Pet Kink, Sensory Deprivation, CNC, and other stuff lol

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Word Count: 863

A/N: Thank you so much to @thatdeadstoat for taking the time and effort to put in this prompt request. I'm so happy with all the Alastor lore and screen time lol. Unedited, so apologies for spelling mistakes. Requests are open.

You heard Alastor's microphone cane tapping the ground as he walked down the hallway to your room. You couldn't even see his face but you could FEEL the seething energy rising from him. He didn't even knock as he busted open your door, slamming it roughly behind him and leaning against it.

"I don't know WHY Charlie thought it was a brilliant idea to bring that low life to this hotel. I despise him with a furious passion."

You shrugged very slightly and sat up in your bed, pausing the tv show you were watching.

"It's her father, Alastor. They're blood. At least he's trying."

Alastors ears furrow back as he squints at you.

"I can't believe you're justifying him, my Dear! I taught you so much better than that."

You bit your lip.

"I was just trying to state my opinion-"

You cut yourself off as he purposely made a threatening walk towards you, his eyes filled with a cannibalistic nature.

"Your opinion doesn't matter in this bedroom, my Dear, I'm CERTAIN i've made that clear, no? Do you need a reminder?"

Before you could open your mouth to speak, his tentacles appeared out of thin air, one of them wrapping around your mouth like a gag and the others pinning you to the bed on your stomach, wrapped around your body like a bunch of rope to keep your arms locked to your side. Alastor got on top of you, straddling the small of your back and wrapping a hand around your throat, squeezing gently on the sides. He pulled your hair aggressively up and got close to your ear,

"Not like you had much of a choice anyways, little one. If you're a good pet, I might let you feel some of your own pleasure, but for now, let your Master let off some steam, hm?"

The tentacle around your mouth tightened as you desperately nodded, trying to murmur something to him but instead it comes out as groans.

"What was that, my Dear? I can't hear you."

He was obviously mocking you. His grin grew wider.

"Since you can't keep your opinionated mouth shut, that restraint is not going anywhere. If I hear you try to speak, I will not give you relief. Do I make myself clear?"

You nodded, feeling your core heat up and the wetness starting to spill down your legs.

"Good."

He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before slamming your face into the pillow, ripping down your pants and feeling your pussy through your panties.

"Oh my! I haven't even DONE anything yet, Princess! Maybe you really DO need this!"

He moved your panties to the side and inserted a two fingers into your cunt, not giving you much time to adjust before pumping them out as fast as he could. You instinctively arched your back before moaning out in overstimulation as he pushed your face harder into the pillow, his hand entangled in your hair.

He kept going for a good bit before stopping, slapping your ass once before letting go of your hair. You were panting and whimpering and felt your juices dripping down your thighs onto the bed.

You felt humilated and he felt like a god.

Before you could catch your breath, you instantly felt Alastor press into your pussy all the way to the hilt, filling you up in just the perfect way. His ears furrowed back as he gripped your hips tighter.

"Goooood girl, you take me so well. Now, just be still and let Daddy breed you."

You were a moaning whimpering mess as he started fucking you into the mattress, his tentacles still wrapped around your body and your mouth. He had an animalistic rage inside of him making him grasp at every part of you, trying to fuck you as deep as he could.

And you loved every second of it.

He kept going for awhile before you felt something push against your asshole. You winced and then moaned in pure pleasure as one of his tentacles inserted itself into it, both holes now being used and filled up.

You bit against the tentacle keeping your mouth in place while you were being brutalized by the deer demon. You were moaning so loud you could probably guess everybody was hearing this.

It wasn't long until Alastor was close, his thrusts become more sloppy and his grip on your hips becoming tighter. You felt yourself getting close to.

"Cum for me."

You instantly came at the sound of his voice and he came too, pushing as deep as he could go. You two stayed in that position for awhile, catching your breathes before he took his tentacles out of you and from around you and himself out as well. You tried to stand up to use the restroom to empty his seed out but he stopped you,

"Ah ah, at least give it 10 minutes, Pet."

He gave you a small kiss on the forehead and dressed himself, sitting on the edge of your bed.

"Thanks Alastor... I guess I really did need that."

His grin grew as wide as it could.

"Good girl."

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

A/N: Thank you so much for everybody who has read! Your support means the world to me. If you didn't know, I will be participating in Kinktober (except in February lol) with some pretty smutty prompts starting February 1st and going on all month, so if you like my writing and want some more Alastor x reader smuts, please consider following. Lots of love.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #18+ only #alastor x reader smut #18+ mdni

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sugardolle · 7 months

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my new routine to life. 💋

how i get everything i want + succeed. 🎀

first off i don’t use subliminals neither do i participate in affirmation challenges. i use to but i grew to feel that it’s unnecessary. on my account you won’t see neither of those.

i know about affirmations, i know about non dualism, i know about states. however something about all of this did not sit right with me idc, my brain didn’t like it. all of this information and you’re bound to be confused especially with the arguments about what and what, literally for weeks. people take “do what works for you” for granted.

i didn’t throw all of these ideas and concepts away however i shaped tf out of them to fit what feels right with me, and that’s what a lot of people don’t do, hence all of these arguments for no reason ! a bunch of mad people and for what.

a @/nazdoll.e original post ( insta ).

ONE ) i know that what i want will show up for me now or what society called the future. time doesn’t exists to me, my future is my present and so is my past. manifesting on a time crunch doesn’t exist either in my book. because if i already had it, is it really a time crunch? you can’t want something so bad for it just to not show up. when you know you have this much power, whatever you want can’t not show up for you. it’s bound to at this point.

TWO ) when something isn't 'showing' up, it isn't because of me. because i know once i become aware that this thing exist in my life at some point of "time." knowing time does NOT exist. it exists now. i can easily decide on when to have it. just because i became aware of that fact. and for two; the 4D & 3D are the same exact thing. they can't exist separately it's one complete thing. so whatever it is that i want it has no choice but to show up.

THREE ) i can't fix a broken person, i'm not their momma nor a therapist. i feel like a lot of ppl should hear this! i will never take my train of thought, etc., to 'manifest' back dirt ass people !when i can use that energy to put a better person into my life that didn't fuck me over the first time. cause friendship wise i thought about it before but i thought to myself do i need this past energy in my life again?' like nooo. it’s a fresh breath of air manifesting someone new and i find it more comfortable and easier. i’m too good to do myself dirty.

FOUR ) life is effortless once you know you have zero limits, and become aware that you are in control of your own limits ! i promise just sit down one day & close your eyes and become aware of the fact that you can control the limit(s) that you think you have. you can literally erase it.

FIVE ) my mindset has no labels. if it seems correct to me, i will take this and that and follow it. what most of us need to do is relearn and go back to the "basics". the first thing we learned that got us to wherever we are now. it helped me so much, and got rid of any clutter in my mind.. with the information i have, i know i got hella options and so it was just a big spot of ink in my mind. i threw away some stuff and kept some.

i’m now one of those one people who just write down what they want and decide that i have it. fuck a state, fuck an affirmation, that’s literally how it is. obviously i’m educated about those things but i don’t take up all of my time trying to “get in a state” or “how long should i saturated for?”

if you can’t be a spoiled brat about what you want then i don’t know what to tell you. because that’s what it basically it is. 🎀

signing off — vixendolle ( kaydolle ). 🍭 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

#kaydolle. 🎀#aka missangel. 🧁#girlblogger #law of assumption #loa blog #manifesting #manifestation #spirituality #it girl #it girl diary #self care #hyperfeminine #vixendolle. 🎀#neville goddard #dream girl #dream life #self concept #affirmations #dolle diaries

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bigification · 30 days

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Giant

I drift away to sleep laying on the hot sand and bathing in the sunlight. I feel relaxed for a moment until I'm thrust into a nightmare. I find myself at my desk, wasting away for a job that I hate. The only reason I went on this vacation is to escape, but no matter what I do I end up back in the same place. This nightmare seems different to the rest, it's so loud. Usually all I can hear is keys tapping and clocks ticking, but now there is another noise. It's... screaming. It's getting louder and louder, the sound of people screaming.

I jolt awake. The screaming was coming from real life. I sit up and see dozens of people running away from the beach. What the hell is going on. Some part of me wants to just go back to sleep, but if this many people are running maybe I should too. I begin to grab some of my stuff and get up to leave, but I'm stopped by what feels like an earthquake. I turn to the shoreline and see a giant beast emerge from the water. It looks human, but unless my eyes deceive me, he must be at least 50 feet tall.

The beast approaches the beach, I know I should run but my body won't let me move. I also notice I'm the only one left on the beach, everyone else has run. He steps onto the beach, the closer he gets, the more I realize how massive he actually is. Soon he's standing right in front of me, and I have to look straight up just to see his face. He reaches down and grabs me, holding nearly my entire body in just one hand. I try to scream, but there's no use now, all my screams will be muffled in the beasts hand.

I can't see much, so I spend the next few minutes trashing about until I have no energy left. It doesn't seem to be making a difference anyway. After what feels like a couple of minutes, the beast stops moving. I get gently laid down on the floor, and get a chance to look around at the expansive room around me. It looks like a normal house, just massive. It makes me feel like a tiny ant. As I'm taking in the scenery, I bump into something soft. I turn to see a massive leg in front of me. My eyes drift upward to see a massive man standing in front of me, he must have been the height of the man that brought me here, just a lot fatter. I shield my eyes from the man's massive cock, and look past his round gut to see the man looking down at me.

"Watch where you're going pipsqueak!" The giant says in a deep voice. I lost my balance as his receding steps shook the ground below me.

"Don't mind him, he's always in a bad mood." The giant who brought me here kneeled down to talk to me.

"Does anyone wear clothes around here?" I ask in return.

"Were not savages, we try to if we can come across clothes large enough. I know this might seem frightening, but you and I are more similar than you think."

"Why did you even bring me here?" I say confused.

"Come, walk with me, I'll explain." He says as I start to follow him, though it takes me a few minutes to cover the ground he can in one step so he walks slow.

"My name is Yusef, by the way." The giant says.

"I'm Jack." I reply.

"A long time ago, a settlement of humans came across a forest while hunting. This forest contained food with mystical properties that provided the humans with far more energy than they needed. The humans obviously took advantage of this to prevent their people from starving. Over time, their bodies started to grow larger than that of normal humans due to the food. Eventually they became a whole new species called 'Giants'." Yusef monologues. "The only problem is that only the men of that settlement grew, the women remained normal humans. This meant that the Giants could not reproduce. So out of desperation, they would find other humans and turn them into giants to keep their species alive. We are what's left of those giants."

"So... You want to turn me into a giant?" I ask, still trying to process the entire story.

"Yes." He responds bluntly.

We both walk in silence for a moment as I process the situation.

"Ok, I want to be a giant." I say confidently.

"What? Humans usually aren't so eager." He questions.

"My life back home sucked, I have nothing , I have no one. At least here I'll have something."

He smiled before pointing to the room beside us. "This is the most recent giant before you, Antony." Yusef points to a man sleeping on the couch.

"He's been asleep for a while now. The last feast really took a toll on him." He states.

"Feast?" I ask.

"You need a lot of calories when your body is that big, so we fatten up the Giants as much as we can."

"Well what about you, you're not fat."

"I stay fit because I am the one who has to get new giants like you, I need to be a bit more nimble than the average giant. For the rest of us, it's better to keep a hefty store of energy. You should have seen Antony here when he was human. He was built like me, big shoulders and skinny waist, washboard abs. He's only been here three days and now look at him."

As he's talking, I look down at my own body. Now I'm no Yusef, but I've worked hard for my body. Maybe I could be like Yusef and stay skinny. As I'm thinking, I notice Antony's hand move. "Are you sure he's asleep, his hand is moving." I ask.

"Oh he's asleep, he's just getting used to having the sex drive of a giant." He responds.

I notice that his hand is moving back and forth over his dick. "That kinda sucks for a species that can't reproduce." I say.

"It's not so bad, we like to have fun with it." Yusef turns to another giant and winks at him. "Lookin good Pete!" He shouts at the giant. Pete looks back and smiles before going back to checking himself out in the mirror.

I fall silent again, coming to another realization. I didn't think about it before but, if there are only male giants, then who do they fuck. Well I just got my answer, they fuck eachother. What do I do if I'm not gay. I mean with the amount of men they turn into giants, there's no way I'm the first straight guy they get. Maybe they just get so bored that they fuck eachother because there's nothing else to do. It's no big deal, I could just not have sex, it's like I was having much sex back home either. Besides, I'm sure they still have porn here, I won't be completely out of luck.

"And we've made it." Yusef says as he stops and turns to me. "This is where you become a giant."

I look around the empty room. "Why this room?"

"It's empty because the transformation can be quite jarring, so it is safe to be in an empty room."

"Jarring?" I ask, concerned.

"Well we'll give you a concentrated version of the food from the mystical forest I mentioned earlier. It speeds up the transformation to happen in mere minutes rather than months. Not all parts of the body grow at the same pace."

Before I can even process, Yusef grabs me and shoves a large green pellet into my mouth. "Swallow." He states. I swallow it, trying to ignore the disgusting taste.

It doesn't take long for the food to take its effect, and it's not subtle. It starts with my arms. My biceps become massive, growing larger than my head. Next to transform was unfortunately my dick. The pressure in my pants builds until they burst open, leaving me naked. My dick quickly grows out of proportion with my body, growing to the point that it hits the ground. It is even thicker than my legs, making me look like I have a third leg.

"I told you it could be jarring." Yusef said with a slight smirk on his face.

"Don't fucking look." I yell out.

"Oh don't be so uptight, I'm just enjoying the show." He laughs.

I can feel myself growing tall as my perspective gets higher and higher. Soon I can feel my ass grow massive as my stomach grows into a muscle gut, making it hard to keep my balance. The next few minutes are completely insane as different parts of my body grow out of proportion. Soon enough, I see that my eyes are at about the same height as Yusefs, meaning the transformation must be over soon. I finally feel the transformation stop as I'm a few feet taller than Yusef. I'm completely naked, tired, and my body is covered in sweat.

"Here dry off." Yusef throws me a towel. "Oh, and I'm glad you're happy to see me." He winks at me before looking down at my crotch. I look down and see that my dick is fully hard, sticking straight out. I jump and cover my crotch, he just chuckles and walks away.

I dry up and walk out of the room where I find a pair of cargo pants. I slip them on and they fit surprisingly well, I try my best to tuck my boner into the waist of the shorts, but it's not doing much to hide it. I walk around, getting used to the way my body moves. It's much harder to move at the same pace I did before, everything is so heavy that it takes more effort to start and stop moving. And it feels like the air is holding me back, almost like walking in water.

I make my way to the balcony and sit down. The view is quite beautiful from here. In one direction there is a lush swamp and the other is a forest. It's weird that the trees look so small, the tallest ones look like they would barely reach my waist. As I'm enjoying the view, Yusef approaches me. As he's talking to me, it's going in one ear and going right out the other.

"My eyes are up here buddy." He says, snapping me back to reality where I notice I was staring at his chest. I look up and make eye contact with him.

"Have this." He hands me what looks like a phone. "It's a smart tv. Jerry's quite good with electronics and whipped up some phones made from old smart TV's."

"Thanks." I say as I hold the tiny tv in my hand.

"It can do basically anything a phone can other than texting, but we use WhatsApp anyway." He says before turning and walking away. I catch myself staring at him as he walks away, but quickly turn my focus to my new phone. It feels just like a phone, with a touch screen and everything. It has a few apps installed, including twitter and it gives me an idea. I log into my account and scroll through the porn I had saved on it. I scroll and scroll, but I feel nothing. Not until I get to a clip I had saved from pornhub. That got me going. My legs tensed and my dick pulsed. Within seconds I shot my load into my new cargo shorts. As I continue to watch, I notice something. I haven't looked at the woman in this clip once, I have been fixed on the man the entire time. But I've never been gay. I scroll through the many videos and images of women on my twitter and I still feel nothing. Out of curiosity I decide to search for pictures of men. Who's a guy everyone seems to like, oh Chris Evans. I search him up and go to photos. Oh my god. My stomach sinks and my dick rises the instant I look at the photo. What happened to me? I look at all the half naked Giants that walk past the balcony, and it confirms the way I feel. Even weirder is my fixation on their fat. I can't stop staring at their guts and they man tits, or their asses as they walk by. Suddenly the thought of growing like the rest of the Giants doesn't seem so bad.

"You okay?" I'm interrupted by Yusef.

"Ya I'm fine." I try to cover the stain in my shorts.

"Well that didn't take you long." He chuckles, "There is someone you need to meet.

"Oh ya sure." I say while paying no attention to what he is saying. The pecs on that man are unreal, how does a man get pecs that large.

I follow Yusef to what looks like the kitchen and he sits me down. "This is Saul." Yusef says as a man in a bathrobe approaches me. He leans over the table in front of me and gets a closer look at me. He looks older, with salt and pepper hair and wrinkled skin. His robe is loosely tied, letting his hairy gut spill out and allowing me to see his soft chest.

"You always bring me the skinniest ones." Saul says. His eyes drift up and down my body as he pokes and grabs me. "I know exactly what you could use." He says as he walks into the pantry.

"What is he doing." I ask Yusef.

"He's our cook. Just eat whatever he gives you, he has been cooking for us for hundreds of years, so he knows what he's doing." He responds.

"Hundreds of years!?" I yell out in shock.

"Oh ya, I forgot to mention that. We live for centuries, and the food he gives you is essential to that."

Saul comes back with a full platter of food and places it in front of me. "Eat." He tells me as he stands there and watches. I think back to when I was sitting on the balcony, watching all of the fatass giants walking by. I want that. I started stuffing my mouth with all the food on the platter he gave me. His food tasted amazing. You'd think I was starving with the way I was ravaging this food. Before I knew it, the platter was empty. I lean back and pat my bloated stomach with one hand and rub my crotch with the other.

"I like this one." Saul says before running off to the pantry again.

"That was so good." I turn to Yusef.

"Good, there's a lot more to come. You may think you're full, but you can fit a lot more food in you than you think." He responds.

Rounds and rounds of food go by, and I just keep going. I don't even know how long it's been, I just keep eating. I eventually lean back in my chair, defeated. My eyes start to close as I fall asleep.

"He's eaten the most out of any giant I have even seen." I hear Saul say as I'm passing out

"You think he's gonna be bigger than Grant?" Yusef responds.

"Much bigger." Is the last thing I hear before passing out.

- Many days later -

"This is the giant before you." Yusef says.

"Am I gonna be that fat." I hear from an unfamiliar voice.

"No he's the biggest we've ever seen."

I slowly open my eyes and try to lean up, but I feel like I'm being held down. I look down and see a massive mound of fat. Wait, that's me, that's my stomach. I reach out my hands and see the fat sagging in my arms. I cup my pecs in my thick hands, though I'm not sure you could call them pecs anymore. They're so fat that they sag onto my stomach. Speaking of my stomach, I grab it, sending ripples through my body. I can feel it spilling out onto my legs.

"Jack, you're finally awake." Yusef says. "This is our soon to be giant."

I sit up as far as I can and look down at the tiny human. I can't help but wonder what I look like from his perspective.

Once they leave, Antony approaches me.

"Damn you got fat." I say to him. Since the last time I saw him sleeping on the couch, he's gained a ton of weight. His modest belly turned into a full blown beer gut and his pecs are now soft man tits like mine.

"Coming from you fatass." He laughs at me. "You're the biggest slab of meat we've ever seen."

He continues to approach me, and I can see his bulge grow in his tight ass jeans.

"All the Giants here are so boring, they never want to fuck. But I know you feel different, don't you." He sits on my lap, spreading his legs around mine and resting our guts against each other. "Think about what we looked like just a week ago. Strong, with big biceps and washboard abs, now look what they've done to us." He almost moans while saying it. "Isn't it so hot." He pushes me into my back, making me feel the full weight of my own body pinning me down. He starts kissing my chest, sucking on my new fat. He kisses down my hulking gut, leaving a trail of hickies. He lifts up my belly and sticks his head underneath, he pushes my fat pad and wraps his lips around my dick. I let out a loud moan, slightly embarrassed when I realize everyone in the house could hear that. It doesn't matter, I turn my attention back to Antony. My knees buckle from the pleasure as I hold his head against my crotch. I let out another loud moan as I pump my load into his mouth. He looks up at me, "my turn." He says with his mouth dripping with cum. He spreads my legs and sticks his dick inside me. My body almost repels at the feeling, but I quickly accept it. I never thought something up my ass could feel so good. He starts to speed up, becoming more and more aggressive. I can see the ripples run through the fat in our bodies and I can hear the couch groan under our combined weight. It doesn't take long for a warm feeling to fill my insides. Antony lets out a satisfied sigh as he sits back onto the couch.

"You know I was kinda scared about this whole 'becoming a giant' thing, but now I'm a lot more excited." He says as he rests his hand on his gut. "You know being a fat ass is a lot better than I thought it would be."

I chuckle, "ya it ain't so bad is it." I lay back on the couch and relax, having no worries to stress me out.

#male tf #male transformation #masculine #fat tf #reality change #male wg #hairy

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starberry-cupcake · 18 days

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Me reading this book is like trying to pin things to a cork board with red thread but the things I'm trying to pin down are fog and they vanish before I can grasp them.

Here's a visual representation of me finishing a chapter:

previously, in harrowbeenie the ninth:

this happened

currently, after chapter 5 (you're gonna have to be patient with this one):

we're moving back and forth between the second and third person

knowing now the content of the letters that yandere twin had talked about in the prologue, it makes some sense

but we aren't there yet

I need to point out something I don't think I specified enough last time

ice cube barbie changed eyes

people be changin' eyes here

she used to have eyes like harrow and now she has, and I quote: "ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony, her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow, as amber as the inside of an egg"

this is from gideon's last ch.: "Gideon's eyes, as they always did, startled her: their deep, chromatic amber, the startling hot gold of freshly-brewed tea"

just gonna leave that there

but now, moving forward...or backwards to ch. 3 flashback of sorts

we got a recap of most of the events we knew, but in a gideon-less ver.

I'm gonna also point out that harrowbean mentions her mother holding her wrist the same way she said ice cube barbie did when they were in the coffin hangar

another addition to the clown emperor's story is that the Resurrection is described in harrow's memories as "ten thousand years ago had given them all release from death that none of them had deserved"

I don't know about any of this

we've got a disturbance in the force when harrow describes her parents finding out about the tomb thing

it says "her parents had...found out...about what she had done"

interesting edit of the story there

there's a gideon-sized hole in this story

there's also an interesting new count of nooses??

she says they tied five, two for mortus (???) but in gideon's book she said they tied their own nooses and then helped her tie hers, what's up with mortus having two??? is this nothing and I'm just obsessing about every detail???

I'm gonna start seeing palmolive's force ghost roaming around my house

at the end of ch. 3 it says "there had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow—but she had died before Harrow was born"

this is a VERY INTERESTING wording

if someone dies before you are born, they can't grow up with you

UNLESS

I'm not gonna dwell on that yet

let's put a pin on that

ch. 4 has the re-apparition of yandere twin

*live studio audience cheers, maybe*

she gives her a letter addressed to her from her

the letter has a lot of instructions of things she doesn't remember at all and also are supposed to be opened at specific times/events

one of them says "in the event of the emperor's death"

another says it's in case she sees regina george twin, which makes a whole argument happen and knives are used to settle it

yandere twin will not hear someone imply her sister might be no longer with us

she probably isn't dead, this I know for certain, people wouldn't be confusing my names for them if that was all we got from her

the most important letter, though, is the one in case she sees camilla, who harrow claims not having interacted with ever

this is a very important thing to note, but most importantly, CAMILLA MENTION

very important to be noting who harrow remembers interacting with and who she doesn't

very important as well that she remembers yandere twin losing an arm in battle but does not remember gideon or camilla

I haven't mentioned it yet but, in the letter, past!harrow tells present!harrow that she needs to check yandere twin's tongue and lower mandibule

to which I think to myself "I bet she's gonna kiss her"

and that she did

which makes me want an edition of this book but with gideon commentary

like a dvd commentary but it's gideon commenting on all this stuff

and cracking jokes

because I bet she'd be cracking jokes about this

remember when she joked that yandere twin would marry mayonnaise uncle?

and then both harrow and mayonnaise uncle were like "ew the third's magic is weird"

imagine if she saw this display

another CRUCIAL thing is that harrow is doing like an oath to yandere twin as requested by past!harrow

and she says "by the ripped and remade soul of ortus nigenad"

and yandere twin goes "who? oh, yes—the cavalier"

I mean, mood at not remembering the names, but also SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

she also tells present!harrow "I gave you something you cared about very deeply at the time"

side note, there is yet another moment in which chad is read for filth

get obliterated even in undeath, chad

last detail from this chapter is that harrowbean almost gets assassinated

maybe I should have started with that

at this point there's so much going on, death seems like a normal one

so yeah, she's gonna get killed with a pillow to the face and then she defends herself and discovers at the end of the chapter that she didn't hallucinate the whole thing and it was hidden from her on purpose that somebody tried to end her

so what's the point in being in this clown death star and surviving big brother canaan house if you can't even sleep peacefully???

moving on to chapter 5

remember the timeline I was making?

yeah, about that

chapter 5, in the third person continuity, establishes that what I saw previously was not necessarily a memory but an au memory

if we can call it something at this point

so my calculations were made as if the timeline was one

but this is not one timeline, it's a sort of parallel gideon-less one

of course my heart is making me believe the gideon-less one is the one that isn't real

and that past!harrow might know what's going on with that

maybe gideon's existence needs to be protected

maybe the emperor doesn't have to know about her

(I'm still holding on to the gideon hope, leave me alone)

but, in any case, present!harrow doesn't know

let's remember the prologue begun with harrow doing something she shouldn't and yandere twin saying something like "was there something in those letters I don't know about?"

I'm just gonna have to throw my timeline in the trash and start over with multiple timelines for now

ALSO, I didn't say anything about it yet, but it's mentioned that harrow is "in love" with ice cube barbie

take that as you will

which is another joke gideon has made in the past and would be stellar in a commentary of this

and, talking about things gideon would be awesome at commenting

in the new ortus-inclusive (?) narrative, ortus is talking about the epic of Matthias Nonius, who we know because harrow has compared gideon to him in the past

and also there's is a comment made about how ortus looks down on people who read "prurient magazines or pamphlets"

I really need gideon confessionals commentary over here

she also says that "the ninth house character, she was forced to admit, had always been low on wild and confident fucks"

yeah, well, how about that

and we end with THE FLIMSY

lots of important flimsies in this

she finds a note that reads "THE EGGS YOU GAVE ME ALL DIED AND YOU LIED TO ME"

ortus says he can't read it

but, in any case,

that made me stop in my tracks because I was reminded I forgot about the writing on the walls of canaan house?????

I filed it under canaan house weirdness but then, it was never talked about?????? again????

also the paper gideon found with her name

which I assumed was addressing the other gideon that not!dulcinea mentioned knowing

but who tf knows at this point

who knows what time and space are anymore

time to leave it for today...this is getting wild, you guys

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt spoilers #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #long post #gif cw #me looking for that scene of Kim just to make that gif #I need to start making these shorter istg

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alittledizzy · 1 month

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i liked your dnp stuff but the fact that you still feel comfortable posting dnf is actually insane. regardless of the details of the situation why would you even want to think about those men they're such creeps.

I'm happy to hear you liked my Dan and Phil stuff!

Unfortunately I think we're just going to disagree on the rest of your message. The fact that you think they're creeps indicates to me that you're being very truthful and you don't care to look into the details of anything, which we differ on. The details of the situation are actually very important to me, and not at all something I want to disregard.

Here's a fun detail: did you know the campaign against Dream, the root of all of this public opinion about him, started on Kiwi Farms? I'm not going to link it because it's a vile site, but if you've never heard of it you can google for verification. It's an alt right hotbed where the users orchestrate mass harassment and doxxing of anyone they don't like. This is not an insubstantial fan defense of Dream - like I said, you can literally google it. You can look at the thread on him, the over five hundred pages of it. You can see them planning how they'll take him down and spread the lies/rumors.

Can you guess why they might not like an openly queer, neurodivergent content creator in the gaming space? Their actual goal was to try and see if they could get him to kill himself. They set out to start enough rumors that would go mainstream and spread enough about him (doxxing him, his family, etc) and it worked, to an extent. He didn't kill himself, but they absolutely succeeded in making people who aren't familiar with him genuinely believe he is an awful person though none of the facts really stand up because his story is just like most other people's. He grew up in a conservative home and had some dodgy posts about politics from when he was fifteen. (Did you know Phil Lester did the same thing?) That's been warped into "Dream is a Trumper Republican." when he's absolutely not. He's not perfect, but he's literally just a human being who has had a growth trajectory that people want to ignore because it doesn't fit the "creepy" box they think he belongs in.

He was in an abusive relationship as a teenager (where he was abused) and he had some messy situationships with other people his age. Most people with a high school/teenage social experience also go through that. But Dream's actions at 17/18/19 are held on a pedestal compared to real life (not online) adult relationships instead of other messy teenagers. None of the allegations about him are true. They came from fans who couldn't provide any proof, and burner accounts. They were all dropped and recanted. But people don't want to hear him clear things up. They don't want to see that people admitted they were lying. It doesn't fit the narrative of creepy.

Anyway - like I said, I'm glad you liked my dnp stuff, and I wish you the best! But I'm just not someone who is going to distill people down into one specific category or drop anyone based on public opinion without looking at the facts myself and coming to my own conclusion.

#dreamwastaken #dt discourse

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rocksanddeadflowers · 10 months

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something I've been thinking about is how interesting it would be to see the goblincore/gremlincore/corvidcore type aesthetic to evolve into an actual subculture. obviously for starters we should change the name bc anything ending in -core just doesn't sit right with me? unless of course it becomes that "placeholder name turns true name" sorta deal but ANYWAY.

main three key elements I've noticed that tend to make up a subculture is: style/outfit presentation (the optional part), belief system, and music genre(s).

style and presentation: (like what you wear), that part is already obvious if you ever followed the aesthetic at any point. (it was trendy for a time I think, is it still trendy? bc idk if it is but that's not stopping me from loving it.) basically wearing majority earth colors like browns and greens, stuff like hobbit-esque cloths or sweaters and stuff. definitely LOTS of nature based themes or just wearing weird trinkets. gotta go for that "creature directly out of the chronicles of spider wick" type look you know?

with the clothes (and often interior design I've noticed, which my entire bedroom would probably fit the aesthetic actually) one thing I've noticed for most who are into the aesthetic is there is a LOT of DIY. also going out and collecting things you find (anything from mystery trinkets to dead bugs and sticks and rocks, which I grew up doing and would call myself a tinker bc I made stuff out of what I found very often).

belief system: I feel like, above all else, beliefs commonly held among people in this aesthetic is to respect and be in nature, as well as do not waste, reduce and reuse. a lot of environmentalist like stuff, as well as seeing and respecting the beauty of nature, from butterflies and flowers to dirt and corpses. I don't have a solid concrete answer for belief system, but hopefully that sums up my view on it.

music genre: folk/folk punk, fantasy DND type genres, and nature based lyrics and vibes. from my experience and digging around, there's less artists who catch the vibe of this aesthetic all around (bc that's not what they're trying to do), and moreso having a couple or handful of songs that fit so very well. unless of course it's a genre of music that is enheritly matching to this aesthetic.

anyway, I'm not great at explaining the music aspect of it, but I feel like if it's magical and yet sorta punk-like that can work. no limits here yet, I have a playlist on my youtube that definitely pushes the boarders but who cares? the thing has celtic woman and httyd score on it. I just think if this evolved into having music for the genre (idk if we could call it a music based genre since it didn't start that way but I mean overall having a genre of music dedicated to this aesthetic-turned-subculture) it would be really interesting to hear what comes of it.

circling back for a minute, I feel like punk comes hand-and-hand with a couple of things here, but specifically mainly eco-punk. like diy, reduce and reuse, etc. as well as the music, while not deeply punk still feels like it would have a punk undercurrent.

I also think this could parallel well with goth, with the dark romantic sorta stuff. the music and belief system having love and adoration for the strangest and darkest aspects of nature, similar to goths seeing beauty in the darkness and creepiness of the world.

if anyone actually read this I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on my little rant (suggestions for bands/musicians and similar subcultures/subculture parallels are very encouraged) bc I grew up doing pretty much everything within this aesthetic long before I knew it was a thing or maybe even before it was a thing. that isn't meant to be gate keepy. I mean that when I found out just how many other people liked and did the same things as me, it was just so cool. so I just really wanna talk to people about this and I think something like this aesthetic could easily become a subculture one day.

#i am ALWAYS open wanna talk about this style in general #nature based stuff is very important to me pls feel free to reply or reblog with literally any positive points #goblincore #gremlincore #corvidcore #crowcore #nature #alternative subcultures #alt subculture #goblin aesthetic #goblin vibes

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ceilidho · 4 months

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Do you have any advice on doing a character study for a character before writing them? Stuff like how they’d act/respond 👁👄👁

haha it's quite tricky, I won't lie! it's definitely one of the things I struggle with the most (writing really well-rounded and defined characters). Here are a couple things that I do, but keep in mind that I'm reeaaalllyyyy not an expert on this. I'm still learning so much about characterization every day.

If you're writing fanfiction, watch or read the source material as much as possible, until you can almost hear the way the character sounds in your head. Take time to understand things like their accent and how they speak (do they talk a lot or very little? do they use slang or enunciate everything? do they speak quickly or slowly?). Here, you just want to concentrate on the cadence of their speech / their speech patterns. If they speak plainly or use lots of proverbs or turns of phrases, that sort of thing. If you have that down, you've honestly done half the work. Even I often reread my work and go "fuck, all of these people SOUND the same even though they're saying different things".

This is harder if you're not writing fanfiction and have to create your own universe, but regardless of whether you're writing for an existing IP or your own 'verse, I think understanding your character's cultural and religious background is so crucial to developing them. It's a big part of the lens through which they see the world, whether consciously (if they're a very religious character for example, or raised in a specific country) or subconsciously (for example, I grew up catholic so I relate to the world through that lens, even though I'm not a religious person - it just heavily informed me in my childhood years). For this Bear story, I had to do a bit of research around Baptist theology because I knew Bear would be a religious character (whether or not he's struggling with that religion) and it would heavily inform how he sees the world around him. I listened to some sermons, talked to someone with a Baptist background, and also thought about how that background with tie into his desire to have a family).

Pick like 3-5 words that you think best describe your character and just write them down somewhere. I've never been very successful when I make huge character sheets for my characters or try to write a super detailed background for them, so I try to give myself a bit of grace and be brief about it. You can always expand on it going forward. Like for someone like Bear, I might pick: family-oriented, religious (Christian), gruff, and scrupulous. You can also do this in the reverse way and try to think of what they're not (same example with Bear, I might go: conniving, hedonistic, flighty, and optimistic LMAO). This is a nice way to put like, boundaries around your character.

In the framework of your story, try to pick a trajectory for your character, or a goal. At least have one, but you could have a couple. If they're directionless, that works too! But they should want something or aspire to be something. This counts even if they think that thing they want is beyond them or unattainable - it's still a want/goal pushing them forward. This can also be an unconscious goal by the way -> like a very hedonistic character that likes to party who's slowly getting worn down from that life and doesn't even realize they want to settle down, or vice versa! Someone who feels trapped in their mundane life but thinks that's what's expected of them. The character doesn't have to know they want this goal.

Fatal flaws. This is a big one. What is something that might get in the way of them achieving their goal or might influence how they get it? Easiest way to think of this is just looking at the 7 deadly sins (soooo corny, but it's a good place to start). Characters are never perfect, so give them a reason to struggle.

And honestly lastly? Trial and error, baby. Take your vaguely defined character and figure out what you want them to achieve (whether or not they get it is beside the point), and then work out how they might go about achieving that. If they'd run full throttle towards it because they think they deserve it or whether they'd fight it every step of the way because they either don't think they want it or don't think they deserve it.

I'm sorry if this is very messy!! It also totally depends on you as a writer. When I try to make "character background sheets", it gives me anxiety and I end up not following through with my writing versus when I try to keep it brief and just dive into the writing and slowly change things and edit as I write. But maybe a sheet works best for you!

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deadpool15 · 6 months

Text

Self-care day

"Hello, my beautiful lovely people. It's your girl."That's how you start the videos?" I turn around and look at my girlfriend with a stank face. "Ma'am, I know you didn't just sit there and interrupt me in the middle of my into."

She smiles and shakes her her head. "No, I'm sorry, baby, continue. Finish your intro pretty baby, go on." I suck my teeth, cranning my neck to look back at her since she is trying to persuade me by grabbing my hips. I move myself on her lap because there is more space and cause, why the hell not. "You lucky I love you." I peck her lips before turning around to look at the camera again. "So, like I was saying before, I was rudely interrupted. It's your girl taylor back with yet another video as I promised. And today we have a very special guest, give all you applauds to my girlfriend. I'm gonna like totally insert the audience thing that used to creep me out when I was a kid Kayoung."

"Anyways, today, instead of doing a vlog because it's cold asf in Korea. And I'm from fucking Texas therfore, you know my ass ain't made for the cold. Yea, we will be doing a self-care day with us, and mainly because I just got my period." Chocol starts to chucked behind me, trying to hide from the camera. "Yall have seen my baby Kayoung on camera before plenty of times, so I don't know why she was behind me playing games and shit." I say to the camera, causing her to laugh and wave to the people. "Are yall usually like this? Like, do you curse and tell them all this stuff, babe?" She asked me genuinely, and I wanted to hear my opinion on the matter.

"Baby, I've had a YouTube channel since I was in middle school. Me and my followers and I practically grew up together. On some real, shit they probably know more than you." I tell her playfully, trying to get under her skin, until she starts moving me back and forth on her thigh. Shit I forgot I was sitting on her lap. "I doubt anyone of them know you better than me." She says though I can tell if I don't stop her she will turn this video into a fucking sextape. "OK, ok, you're right. You obviously know me way better. Now stop before they end up seeing me naked. "She stops the playful expression glancing at the camera before she takes notice of the strap of my shirt had fallen down. And pulls it up before kissing my cheek allowing me to continue.

"You promised to behave. I'll edit that out, though." Then we continue on with the video when I grab a clay face mask starting to apply it on her skin. "Baby, your skin is good. See yall, that's what being with me gets you. Clear skin and good sex."I say laughing at the camera, stopping when Kayoung slaps my ass. "Behave." That's all she has to say to get me to be quiet. Eventually, the silence starts to roll in, so I suggest we do a Q&A segment. To add a little seasoning to the upload. While applying her face mask, I hand her my phone, showing her some questions people have asked for over some time. She starts to read them out loud so we both can answer them.

Chocolsrideordie1- How long have you two been dating?

"We've been together for about 5 years now. To be honest, it's 4 years if you really think about it, cause it took one whole year for Kayoung to fucking get me." I tell everyone before she speaks up. "She kept making it seem like I was bothering her by asking about her day and just trying to get to know her. I mean, it took me a while because I really wanted to talk to her but thought she was straight." She says while looking at me. "Yea, everyone she thought I, a national walking gay flag, was a straight woman. Crazy shit." We both start dying of laughter before looking at the next question.

Taylorsbuggest- who is the princess in the relationship?

We both kinda sit there confused. After a while, I finish chocols masks. She starts to do mine now, and we are still trying to understand the question. "It's the way we both don't get it. That's throwing me. Not us both being slow." She looks at me, trying to concentrate on the mask and hide her smile. "So, if you mean like youngest, it's obviously me. But if you mean whole leaders towards the role of like just going with the flow and being babied. It's kinda both of us, I mean, people see her on camera and think she is all intimidating and mean and shit. Which I can understand yall, I got a resting bitch face too. But we both enjoy being each other's support system and like to be the baby." She starts shaking her head, trying to deny what in saying. I smile and grab her to pull us closer. "I promise yall this right here is my baby, and she loves it." I read the next question.

Lovingonfood123- What's it like dating someone younger?

"Well, I sometimes find it hard to believe taylor is younger than me. Compared to how we act. I'm not saying I'm childish, but when I first met her, I thought she was way older than 25. She was just so put together and gave me the vibe of someone who had an old soul. She gives the best advice, and it makes me question how many lives she has lived. In a sense, she acts older than me, so typically, I forget she isn't." She finishes up my mask before I grosn in pain. She finishes up my mask beof4 I groan in pain. She looked at me trying to find exactly what area was hurting until she realized my period was still on. She immediately starts rubbing my abdomen.

"Wanna continue, baby, or just lay down?" I contemplate it. I wanted to continue the video before she gave me a look. Knowing I can't refuse. She continues to rub my stomach, further persuading me to cut the video and call it a day. I managed to push through and get her to do two more questions before we call it's quits for the night. She reads the next question, and I can see it in her eyes she is worried about my pains.

Puppylover56-whats it like being a dancer?

I look at her while she starts to explain in detail. She is so passionate about her craft and I love that so fucking much about her. Whenever you mention here, the world lights up. Obviously not as bright as when you mention me, but you get the idea. "It's amazing, I've been a hip-hop freestyle battler for a long time, and I love every second of every competition I've been in. Whether I win or lose, it's always an experience for me, getting to learn from other dancers. Watching them transform on stage, hopping that's how people see me. I want to continue to battle. Going on street women fighter 2 has taught me more about choreography. Before, I didn't worry too much about creating dance moves, I just went with the flow. Wherever music took me, I allowed my body to just go with it. But now I have learned it can be fun to create dances as well. "

Yourbabydaddy34- What's it like being a country that doesn't really accept the lgbt+ community?

I huff out a breath of air once I hear the question, ignoring the pain that shoots up in my stomach. Chocol takes notice and rubs my stomach a bit more firmly. "So, it's not secret that Korea is homophobic. Buy in my opinion, can you name a country that's not. And no, I'm not saying that's a good thing, I'm simply pointing out the facts here. The country's values and the people are two different things. Of course, it can be difficult sometimes, but no one really goes out of their way to stop us from loving each other, so why should we. A long time ago, I was terrified of the fact that I liked girls. I wasn't raised to look down on it or to think it was bad. In fact, I had gay family members, but as my mother likes to tell me all the time, she didn't have a problem with gay people she just didn't expect me to be like this. I relaiz3d that the father she tried to explain to her point of view the more I didn't want to hear it, it was my mother's way of saying she didn't accept me. Now, we are much closer since she has changed her views. But the point of this story was to tell you that at the end of the day, not everyone will like you for you. So why should you sit there and waste your breath on a hating ass bitch?"

I turn around to hear chocol applauding me in the background. "That's my girl." I smile while hugging her. Before she reminds me, we have to end the video now, so she can run us and bathe and relax. I'm trying to soothe my cramps. "OK, everyone thanks you my beautiful bitches for tuning into today's week tonight's vid of the week. I shall upload again next week, I promise. If I don't, you can beat my ass when you catch me on the streets. "No the fuck you can not." I hear her saying while I laugh looking at rhe serious face she is making. "I'm plating yall, shit can't take a joke. Anyways good-night I love you all byee."

#street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #street woman fighter x reader #chocol

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sirenlulls · 11 months

Text

emily, i'm sorry → c. zdunowski

pairing — cynthia zdunowski x fem!reader

summary — you were the one person cynthia never had to change for. all it took for her to realise was you leaving.

i just make it up as i go along, and i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want...

cynthia never really understood when people said, they "fell in love." to her, falling was an accident, something you don't want but have anyway — a burden. she much preferred to say she chose to love, with purpose and intention behind every thought and action. she always knew that when she did find love, it wouldn't be through a fall, but through a choice.

she chose to love you, how could she not? you'd grown up side by side, from cradles to cars, you'd always been there. you yelled at people who made fun of her and said you loved her hair. you balanced her out perfectly, her other half, the one thing that made her whole.

but now, hearing everyone get ready for the fall ball, she wondered if she'd made the wrong choice.

there was a guilt that stirred in her gut every time you looked at her with bashful eyes, full of joy from the lingering feeling of your lips on hers. there was a nagging in her mind that reminded her that no matter how good it felt, how good you felt, it wasn't normal. she couldn't explain it, so it mustn't actually be good.

but she had given you hope when she was dumped on your doorstep by the t-birds with drink on her breath and a half-apology in her eyes. when she kissed you the second you made it to your room. when she told you that she loved you, that she wanted you, that she always had.

you weren't one to be ashamed of what you believed in. in fact, for as long as she'd known you, cynthia couldn't remember one time where you stepped away from the chance to be brave and let your voice be heard. most people said you two were similar in that regard, she disagreed.

you see, cynthia was loud, she knew that, but you were proud. her words carried comic relief, while yours carried truth. she figured that's why everything was so hard for you now.

standing in your bedroom, chests heaving and eyes laden with tears. "what do you mean 'it was a mistake'?" you asked and cynthia's nails dug crescent moons into her palms at the crack in your voice.

"we shouldn't have- you know that." she swallowed around her words. her mouth was dry and she tasted bile. she didn't know which of you she was trying to convince.

"you don't get to say that. not after what you said the other night. it's not fair." there was a tremble as you spoke, and it took everything in cynthia to stick to her brain, to stick to what she'd seen her whole life.

"i'm sorry, but it shouldn't have happened. we're friends, girl friends. we shouldn't do that stuff."

"you said you loved me." the room ran cold and the air around you grew tense.

"i do! just... not in that way." her heart surged in her chest, as if it was trying to fight its way from her and take back everything she was saying.

a tear fell down your cheek and you were quick to wipe it away, taking a deep sobering breath. "i, uhm, i think you should go, cynthia."

cynthia. not cyn, or any nickname you'd given her before.

cynthia. a name she only ever heard you say when you were mad.

cynthia. the name of a stranger.

cynthia rolled her lips and sighed, scratching the back of her neck as if she was about to say something, to fight it, to fight for you. but she didn't. she let her hand drop back to her side and walked out of the room with a quiet "yeah."

for the first time since your friendship began, you didn't run to the window to make sure she got to her bike safely, as if something was lurking in the suburban bushes lining your front lawn. now you felt like you'd be sick if you saw her again, you felt a sob crawl from your throat before you could catch it, and once that passed, the floodgates opened and you sat on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands and tears on your sleeves.

as your shoulders shook, a small part of you hoped she could see you from the window to know how much she'd hurt you.

to you, cynthia was everything.

you had loved her from the moment you met her, a raggedy-haired prankster in kindergarten who spilled paint over one of the boys' shirts. when you made her daisy chains, you gave her your soul, and it stayed with her when the petals fell and the stalk wilted away.

she knew that. she knew, not just because you told her, but because she had eyes and could see the way you shone when she walked into a room. she could see the smile you couldn't contain when she made a horrible joke. she could see the downcast of your eyes when she put her arm around your shoulder in a diner booth.

she knew she had your heart in her hands, and she was cruel with it, burying you with your hopes and leaving without a eulogy.

when cynthia got home, she slammed the doors and screamed into her pillow. it was all too much. she was too angry, too sad, too hurt, too devoted to you.

she missed you already, nudging your foot with hers under the desk in chemistry, laying her pinkie finger over yours under the table at frosty palace, kissing your forehead under the blanket of night. she could feel the memories fade away, you shrinking away from her with hatred in your eyes. she could feel herself shrinking away too, at the mercy of the disgusted eyes of others.

but she had to do it because she knew you'd stay if she didn't. caring for her like a dog curled up at the foot of her bed, cynthia knew you'd accept her half-love, embrace her half-kisses, believe her half-truths. she knew you. she knew you'd take the bruising of her guilt and internalised self-hate. she knew herself. she knew she'd take it out on you, grow cold and callous.

besides, whatever lay between you two wasn't normal. the longing glances and the stolen kisses weren't something you should be doing together. not when shy guy looked at her that way, not when anyone could look at you that way.

she figured she was just dazed, giddy at the chance to love and be loved, that all sense had flown out the window. she was sure her sentiments would still be the same if they were directed towards someone else. maybe that's why her feet didn't drag as she walked to the phone and her voice was high-pitched when she asked him to the dance.

if someone had told you two weeks ago that you'd been dreading the fall ball, you would've called them crazy. your dress had been hanging in your wardrobe since september and your inspiration for your hair had been cut from a june-issue magazine. but now, when the night finally came and you sat at your vanity alone, you wished it was over already.

you hadn't spoken to cynthia in three days, having avoided her at every opportunity and, in doing so, avoided the rest of the pink ladies too. a part of you wished she was here now, sitting on the edge of your bed with bright eyes and countless questions, constantly in awe of you. but with a solemn glance at the picture frame to your left, the one where you were laughing with cynthia's arms around you, taken by jane on a random starry night, you remembered what she'd said and your face grew stoic again.

you stood up and smoothed out your dress, hugging your figure nicely in a deep emerald green. you gave yourself your best smile, taking a deep breath, and walking out the door for your father to drive you to the school.

"you meeting the girls there?" he asked. "mhm." you nodded with a tight smile. you could tell he didn't believe you, but for the sake of your peace and your dignity, he let it go. "have a good night, kiddo. call me if you need anything, yeah?" you smiled at him and kissed his cheek before bidding him goodbye.

you got to the door before your body froze, you willed yourself to move but anxiety rendered you paralyzed. "y/n?" lydia asked, concern in her voice as she walked up behind you. "are you alright?" you shook your nerves away, facing her. "yeah, just nervous." lydia furrowed her brows and gave you a short nod of understanding. she linked your arm with hers, leaning in to whisper to you, "me too." she winked. "let's do it together?" you beamed at her, squeezing her arm as you walked in.

the noise was the first thing you registered, tensing momentarily, lydia swore she could feel the anxiety radiating from you. "you look great tonight, by the way." she smiled to ease the tension. "so do you. i love the pin." you nodded to the heart on her dress and she lit up. "thanks." you could feel eyes burning into the back of your skull and when you turned around you locked eyes with cynthia. lydia followed your line of sight.

"go talk to her." "what?" "look, i'm not complaining that you and i have been hanging out a lot these past few days, but you're clearly happiest when you're with her." "but what about us doing this together?" lydia smiled at you warmly, nudging you forward. "go. i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. find me if things go wrong, though, okay?" "yeah. thank you, lyds." she squeezed your arm once more, gently pushing you towards cynthia.

cynthia straightened up when she saw you walking towards her. "you look nice." you said, nerves lacing your voice. cynthia hesitated. "you really think so?" "i always think you look nice, cynthia." an awkward silence hung between you two, neither of you knowing what to say. "i missed you." she blurted out. "i missed you too." you were about to take it further, ask if you could talk in private, see if she really meant everything from that night. but then you saw something you never thought you'd see.

"hey, y/n." shy guy greeted, handing cynthia a drink and putting his arm around her. you tried to mask your shock. "hey! are you two...?" you trailed off. "together? yeah." cynthia butted in. "oh." you played with your hands, plastering on a smile. "well, uhm, have a great night, you guys. i've got to go but, uh, i'll see you around."

you walked away quickly, hastily brushing a tear from your face before anyone could see. "shit." cynthia cursed before following after you into the bathroom. "y/n—" she froze when your head snapped up, meeting her eyes through the mirror and mascara smudged around your eyes. "what're you doing here, cynthia? you're boyfriend's waiting for you." she sighed and bit her tongue. "i'm sorry." "for what exactly?" your words were sharp and uncaring. she didn't say anything. you turned around to face her.

"look, cynthia. i love you. i always have, and you know that. but right now, you're hurting me, and i have enough self worth to know that i don't deserve that. so until you're grown enough to admit to my face what you've done, we're done." her mouth hung open and she was about to object. "cynthia, i can't keep letting myself be hurt by people. i love you, i really do, but i can't be around you like this. it's too much."

she looked like she was about to speak again, but she saw the dead-set look on your face and knew she'd do no good at convincing you to stay. you cursed your longing and empathy when you wrapped your arms around her for the last time. "go have a good night with him." you managed to smile until she walked out the door.

when your legs stopped wobbling and you trusted yourself to blend into the crowd, you pushed through the door to find lydia, seeing her giggling with a pretty blonde across the hall. you tapped her shoulder. "i'm gonna head out." her face sobered in concern. "you want me to come with?" you looked past her to the girl looking at her with soft eyes. "no. stay here, have fun." you nudged her with a wink, laughing quietly when she flushed red. "i'll call you tomorrow for details." you promised before leaving.

when your dad pulled up, you could see the worry in his face, you could hear his unasked questions. "i don't want to talk about it." "i wasn't going to make you." understanding silence washed over you both as he drove you home. "i did have a feeling something was wrong, though, so i got you some ice cream on the drive back from dropping you off." he said after a few minutes. you smiled at him. "thanks, dad." he pulled into the driveway, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "anytime, kiddo."

it was well past midnight when a hurried knock came from your door, a bout of fear struck through you. you crept to the peephole and saw a disheveled cynthia looking at her feet. you opened the door. "what do you want? you could've woken my parents." she winced. "sorry. i just—" she let out a frustrated breath, fighting for her words. "i made the wrong choice." confusion spread across your face. "what?" "i was wrong. i lied. i'm sorry." she rushed out. "cynthia, what are you talking about?"

she started to pace back and forth at your doorstep. last week, when you kissed me, i told you i loved you—" "you didn't mean it like that, yeah i know." "no! no, i— i meant it. i meant it in that way, in the way nancy loves clothes and gil loves olivia." your palms grew sweaty. "then why'd you say it was a mistake? why did you go to the dance with shy guy?" she looked at you with a million apologies in her eyes. "i was scared. and i know that's not an excuse because you were too and i just left you, and i know i'll regret that for the rest of my life." she took a step closer and you let her.

"but right now all that matters to me is that you know that i love you. i love you more than i thought was even possible. i love the way you whisper me answers in math because you know i don't pay attention. i love the way your eyes kinda close when you laugh really hard. i love that i'm usually the one making you laugh. i love you for everything you are, and everything you aren't. for everything you've done, and everything you've yet to do. i love y—"

you cut cynthia off by grabbing her face and pulling her into a kiss, and in that moment, cynthia knew that this was what the poets wrote about. this was what drove artists made and carried people from war. this was what every sonnet and song was about. this was love. with your face in her hands and your lips pressed to hers, cynthia knew she would never need to make a choice again, because you were her definite, the one thing that would never change. cynthia knew you. she knew she'd never have to put up an act or pretend to be brave with you. she knew she'd never have to choose again. she pulled you impossibly closer as she smiled against you.

"i'm sorry." she panted when you pulled away to breathe, quickly chasing your lips again. "i'm so, so sorry." her desperation was clear in her broken words. "it's always g'nna be you. you're it for me."

you pulled away again, holding her face gently. "glad you finally realised." she laughed at your smile, moving to grasp your hands, holding them to her lips and pressing a light kiss to your knuckles. "i will spend forever making it up to you." you rolled your eyes.

"just kiss me again and we'll call it even." cynthia's face lit up and you swore you'd never seen her move so face as she gripped your waist and dragged you flush against her, swallowing your laughter with a kiss.

#grease: rise of the pink ladies x reader #cynthia zdunowski x reader #cynthia zdunowski #grease: rise of the pink ladies #grease x reader #jane facciano #olivia valdovinos #nancy nakagawa #richie valdovinos #lgbt #lesbian #wlw #wlw x reader

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kiefbowl · 25 days

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Everytime I say to myself "im bisexual" i get this sense of deep guilt, and i just feel like crying flor some reason.

I know im not straight and i know im not a lesbian so the only logical conclusion is that I'm bi but i just dont feel like I am? I also dont feel like I'm allowed to have these feelings of struggle because i see people online say women are prtending to be bi for queer points so i feel like I'm overreacting you know.

Everytime I think of myself being in a relationship with a woman i feel a deep sense of shame.

I feel guilty like im a monster you know. I grew up in a homophobic country and only moved out like 3 years ago so i think maybe thats why ? Idk im just lost. I see people online just like being super happy about being lgb and im like why am I struggling? Im not supposed to feel this way. I feel like a fraud.

I was outed, kind of, I mean I wanst even sure i was bi but she told everyone and like my friends started behaving differently towards me and idk I just well first of all why did she tell people?? I didnt even know if i was into women i just wanst sure i wanted to make sense of it first i felt exposed in a way(dont worry my uni was chill so no physical harm or anyhting like thta)

Like that was my thing!! It was my fukcing thing and you don't get to tell people about it . Why did she do that. I know its not a big deal but now like if you ask me if im out i would say no ? Like no one knows im bi here in this new country.

Im rambling.

I have never said the word "im bisexual" out loud like ever

I'm going to give you permission about something you haven't specifically asked for, but in my wisdom I'm going to grant you this permission:

You don't have to know.

It's okay! You've moved, you're young, you're getting away from homophobia and finding new kinds of homophobia...that's too much stress, just stop worrying about it. So you don't know today, who cares? You'll figure it out. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years.

If it's causing you this amount of stress, and if all the voices of all these people in your head causing you doubt, then you aren't allowing yourself to discover by simply living. You're becoming a police officer in you head, and you're navel gazing as a form of punishment, and let me tell you, even if you were straight as ruler that wouldn't help you find love and fulfillment.

You're sexual orientation is something natural within you. So whatever feels natural, that's the truth of the matter. If you are trying to attack this as a thinking problem that needs solving, you just won't get there. Go out and party, go out and enjoy people's company, go set life goals and focus on them...and one day when you're not thinking about it you will meet someone you can't deny is the most lovely, beautiful person in the whole world and all you want to do is kiss them. And then you'll know.

This is about no one else but you. This is your sexual orientation, this is your life, and you don't need a peanut gallery weighing in. Fire your shitty friends if you have to. If people ask, you can say "I'm figuring it out" or even flat out say "that's none of your f*cking business." Or, if you want to be funny, pretend you have a very selective hearing problem.

Prioritize the things that you know are fulfilling you right now, and all the stuff you don't know yet will come back around in due time. This is true of love as it's true of everything else we obsess about. You don't have to know everything about yourself to be a good person.

Good luck, sis. Have fun smooching cuties, studying seriously, and enjoying the sun.

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catgirlbussy · 8 months

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holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 8 months

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I think it's time for me to come clean with something I've never admitted to anybody before. And it's not something I've done or anything like that. It's not an action I've taken. It's an opinion I have that I know is something that would cause a lot of...let's say strife with most people if they knew I had it. It's not a controversial opinion I'm particularly proud of the way I'm proud of my opinion on John Lennon being a boring hack, or my opinions on YouTube content creators being, by default, talentless nobodies compared to literally any other professional creative, or my opinion that sport hunting journalists and politicians should be, if not actually legal, than at least one of those victimless crimes that never actually get prosecuted. This opinion I'm about to share is something that my own parents would never understand if I were to admit it to them, which, to be honest, does sting a bit when I let myself think about it too much.

I know most of you don't follow me for personal BS, and I respect that, so I'm going to put a cut before I state this opinion so people who don't really care to learn more about me as a person can easily give it a skip. For the rest of you, all I ask is that you try to keep an open mind, and understand that this is as hard for me to admit as it is for you to read.

George Carlin is a terrible fucking comedian.

I know. I know.

But hear me out.

I'm not saying he's not funny, because he can be. Certainly he was hilarious to 12 year old Little Me who would watch clips of his acts on Comedy Central long after my parents went to bed. But as I got older, I started to notice something. It wasn't that I was "growing out" of George Carlin. That's silly to say. That's like saying someone grew out of watching Eddie Murphy's Raw. You're not even supposed to be watching that stuff until you're grown.

No, the thing I noticed was that he isn't actually a comedian.

He's a blogger.

Again, he does tell jokes, but telling jokes does not a comedian make. Everyone tells jokes. What makes a comedian a comedian is that they are so funny that people will pay money to laugh at their jokes. And that's not George Carlin. That's not why people go to see George Carlin. They might think it is, but it's not. No, they go to see him for the same reason he stands up in front of them and speaks.

They want to hear their own opinions parroted back at them, and then they want to cheer. Just like George doesn't really want to make people laugh. He wants to give his opinions on social issues and politics, and then he wants everyone to clap and validate those opinions. The laughter is completely secondary. It's not even necessary past the point of telling just enough jokes to both get people in the door, and to allow those people the illusion that they're at a comedy show and not reading a blog.

And Carlin isn't the only blogger pretending to be a comedian. You probably know quite a few already. The Jon Stewarts, John Olivers, and Jimmy Kimmels of the world who just want to be cheered for stating their, often idiotic, opinions on things. I used to call this "Applause Comedy", and I've always hated it with a passion. But these days I just call it blogging, because that's what it is. And George Carlin is its grandfather. His entire career is based on "telling it like it is" instead of "telling jokes". And let's be fair, some of his opinions are right. Of course, these days the people he roasts are usually not on the same side of the political divide as the ones he was intending on roasting. He is another terminal victim of the 60s, so don't ever mistake him for being even remotely right wing.

(I wonder if, were he still alive, would he be one of those few boomerlibs that actually recognize how batshit insane the left has become? Or would he be one of the ones that now supports all the things they railed against 40+ years back because their identity as a leftist is more important than their supposed principals?

I could speculate, but I won't.)

But being able to comment intelligently or eloquently on political or social issues isn't a skill one should look for in a comedian. And getting cheered for stating an opinion isn't something a real comedian should look for in their audience. A comedian tells jokes. He makes people laugh. He tells stories and weaves tales and creates an atmosphere of joy. He allows us to keep the outside world at bay for an hour or so, and leaves us with a small shield against that world when his show is over in the form of fond memories and shared enjoyment.

You're more likely to come out of a George Carlin show more angry at the world than when you went in.

And that's not comedy.

That's not entertainment.

That's blogging.

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innerchorus · 3 months

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Sometimes I find myself wondering why Shapur's mother waited two years before she attempted murder on Isfan and his mother. Or perhaps she tried/wanted to try earlier but was unsuccessful due to Shapur's presence and interference? I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.

Okay, I have a confession to make. This ask unlocked a memory in me and I went to look in my drafts and sitting there was an unfinished post about this very matter, in which I tagged you because I think we had been talking about this in comments somewhere, and I checked the date and it said July 2022 🫠

Anyway, this is going to involve a lot of theorising and definitely veers into headcanon/possible fic backstory stuff, but it's a question I've thought about a lot and there are a handful of possibilities, in my opinion.

My first thought was that to begin with, she didn't know for certain who Isfan's father was. I'm sure there were also male slaves employed by their household, or it could have been any number of soldiers of other visitors that was the culprit. But perhaps in time the resemblance between Isfan and his father became impossible to ignore, or perhaps gossip reached her ears and her suspicions grew to the point at which she could not put them aside.

Perhaps she suspected right from the start, though. Maybe her husband's behaviour gave her cause to; maybe it wasn't an isolated incident. In that case, for someone willing to do what she did it feels like suspicion alone would have been enough, so why wait? One thing that comes to mind is infant mortality rates. Maybe she was hoping that the babe wouldn't survive past the first year or so, in which case there would be no need to dirty her hands.

Or perhaps at first it didn't seem to matter — her own son, both legitimate and older, would be heir.

I don't think Shapur's father would have involved himself with Isfan at all (after all, in not wanting to cause trouble with his wife he was content to ignore her actions in consigning a mother and baby to freeze to death) but I know we've both speculated before that Shapur might well have taken an interest in his baby brother even before he rode out to save him.

So was Shapur's behaviour a factor somehow? Was it his acknowledgement of his younger half-brother that changed things? Did his mother, for some reason, start to fret that one day, Isfan might be the one to inherit everything from Shapur rather than a son of his own, a grandchild that would carry her blood? How would she have felt at seeing Isfan accepted by the one other person she had assumed would also see him as a threat?

(Going down this line of reasoning definitely veers into some potential headcanon territory that I can't recall whether I've talked about before, but essentially something I toyed with was that his mother's fears not only stemmed from Shapur's clear affection and bond with the child but also the fact that she had begun to have her suspicions about her son's preference for men, and worried that given his closeness with Isfan he would be content to pass things to him rather than marry and have children of his own.

At this point, Shapur is 16, a year over the age of majority. I wouldn't be surprised if discussions of marriage had come up at this point in terms of potential matches, especially if he is the only legitimate son. Certainly I headcanon that later on, the main reason Shapur doesn't marry is to protect Isfan's status as his named heir and ensure it can't be contested, but before his rescue of Isfan I doubt he was thinking that far ahead; he was simply fond of his younger brother and did his best to look out for him and his mother. He could have easily brushed off talk of marriage without realising why his mother pushed for it.

Still, overall I think the biggest factor was simply that Shapur's mother hoped that if she ignored what she thought of as a problem for long enough, it would go away. And when it didn't, she opted to take matters into her own hands. The cold simplicity of Isfan's mere existence being enough for her to want him and his mother dead speaks to both her own callousness and the problems with Parsian society in the importance it places on bloodlines, so I've always been a bit wary of diluting that.)

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #shapur #isfan

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erzsebetrosztoczy · 3 months

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saw your requests are open. If its not ignore this .

can u do AC Valhalla hytham x reader ? Maybe reader is evior sibling? And hytham is falling for them but is shy to confess . They fall in love and basim is like :

Amongst hidden ruins

I am so sorry for the long wait I was havig life and death situation with uni I didn't consider that would be there but I hope I can make it up to you by offering a 3 part slow burn?? Ya girl is trying I promise🙈🙉🙊

Pairing: Hytham x reader

Word count: ~16k

Genre: fluff, awkward fluff, idiots in love

Warnings: none, except if you count me not knowing what im doing???

Note: Shy Hytham is canon to me, let he be nervous and giddy with his crush🤌❤️. Also, Basim with his wolf dad energy 100% supports his adopted son like "i teach you how to be an assassin, now i teach you how to rizz, boy" and Eivor finally can live through what Sigurd needed to, aka being the older sibling and they will quickly find out why Siggy has eyebags lmfaoo

Being related to the leaders of the Raven Clan was not easy. Especially when it came to two battle-hardened brothers. From the dawn of your life, you had to have someone by your side to keep you from being "hurt." First came the cautionary orders of your father Styrbjörn, which you cannot remember unless it is from Tekla's evening stories. Taking in and raising a newborn baby with two troublemaker squirrels aged a lot on your fathers, even during the early winters of your lives. Then, as you were growing, Prince Sigurd's sense of duty began to surface, and who else could he begin directing, rebuking, and protecting than his youngest sibling. Most of your childhood thus consisted of tramping in your eldest brother's heels, holding his hand, and obeying when he forbade you something. And just when you thought your troubled years would cease to exist as you grew up, Eivor's pestration began.

"I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to call Randvi next time. More eyes see more, more blades cut more." Eivor continued as he dodged those who came across him, trying to catch up with you, who was trying to get rid of his brother with wide steps. You rolled your eyes grumbling as you picked up a bucket from the riverbank, heading towards the stables.

"Eivor, last time, I just went riding for an hour. To the neighboring fields. If you climbed up the top of the Longhouse you would have seen it!" You patted it over your shoulder as you trampled up the path of the settlement.

"Yes, but Tove reported that Saxon bandits are passing nearby lately and-" "Eivor, I don't need a nanny! I can defend myself. I might as well show you how good I am." You raised your voice a little harder than you wanted as you spun back, defiantly shouting into his face. Eivor backed up with wide open eyes, raising his arms to the surrender.

"Hey, hey, you have no reason to yell at your brother, little one. I just want the best for you." Eivor's voice sounded suspiciously metallic, sarcastic. You knew he was almost certainly taking your words half-heartedly.

"And if you want any good for yourself, you'd better shut your mouth before I stuff it with Gunnar's footcloth!" Your fingers and fists almost turned white from the effort you used to hold the bucket close to your chest – you had to concentrate very hard not to hit your brother's head with it.

"You talk like you have a chance to beat me." Eivor chuckled to himself in a pitiful grin.

"Listen here, you smartass, Sigurd entrusted you with the leadership of the Clan, not that some blister-headed—"

"I think it will be enough of spreading curses for today. Otherwise, Valka won't be able to make enough talismans for all of us if you keep going like this." In your big arguments, you didn't even notice that Randvi walked next to you. She looked at the two of you with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe a retreat would be good.”

"But Randvi, don't you hear that Eivor runs to me at the slightest crack of a stick to see if I'm still alive? Can't you see that even though I've had the same training as him in our childhood, he acts like I'm a defenseless baby? " You turned to Randvi in desperation, not even paying attention to the water, whether it would stay in your bucket or not.

Your sister in law looked back at you with a pursed mouth. Please, be the more mature one. Reflected in her gaze.

Why do you always have to take the shortcut, for the sake of peace?

You nodded with an annoyed sigh.

"Alright." You grunted in agreement turning back to Eivor, but your flaming stare could have almost scorched him. "Next time I'll tell someone to come with me when I leave home. Okay?"

Eivor's face softened, his eyes sparkling with joy as he grinned in satisfaction.

"Perfect, little sister." He almost sang it as he straightened his back and walked off as if he had done his job well.

"I'll drown him in Tekla's beer one day, you'll see." You fumed at Randvi as you watched with narrowed eyes your brother’s leave.

Randvi laughed hearing this, and patted your shoulder. "Don't be so angry with him, he really only wants good for you." She said apologetically, voice full with kindness.

"His desire for good crushes me. He suffocates me with his fear. No one could live that way." You answered defiantly, speaking from your heart. When will the moment finally come when you can live your life for yourself and no one else?

You sighed dejectedly, then lifted the wooden bucket to your side again. "..I'd better reload this." You muttered, then waved goodbye to Randvi and turned back towards the water.

It seemed to be a long day ahead of you.

That night you felt like all the joy had been drained from you. Despite the feast, time passed grimly. Despite the music, singing and celebration, you couldn't cheer up - the meat felt tasteless in your mouth.

Since what happened in the morning, you didn't even want to see your brother, specifically for that reason you went to the other side of the longhouse, where you won't even accidentally come under Eivor's watchful eye.

You wondered what you should do to make your brother's overbearing subside.

"Is this seat up to take?" A question came to you behind your back. At first it crossed your mind that it could just be Eivor, that he can't even leave you alone while eating, but then you realized that the voice asking the question sounded much softer than your brother's thunderous one.

You turned around and found yourself facing Hytham's slender figure. He wore his usual white caftan, but now the hood did not cover his lush brown curls. In the darkness, the light of the fire showed a deep brown iris of warm honey, his skin golden from the dancing embers.

It was as if the summer night itself was standing before you.

"For you I am gladly saying yes." You smiled with relief, motioning for him to take the seat beside you.

With a chuckle Hytham took a seat beside you and as he was settling, his shoulder and elbow rubbed against yours.

"Oh, sorry!" He gasped in fright, immediately pulling away from you, offering a decent distance.

"Ah, don't even worry about it." You waved it away, turning to him. "And what's new in the office? Have you found anything recently with… Eivor, that would advance your research?" You asked, leaning on your elbows.

Hytham shone a timid smile towards you, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid I can't give you exciting news, there haven't been any new leads for weeks. Eivor has been too busy lately, taking care of the clan's affairs with the surrounding allies, to be thinking about that right now."

Pursing your lips, you pondered; your attention falling on the beer mug in your hand, you didn't even have time to notice the warm, longing look with which Hytham stole a glance at you.

You couldn't notice it - but Basim did; from across, beside the fire.

"And if I helped instead of Eivor? Trust me, I'm just as good at tracking as he is!" It came out of your mouth suddenly. The thought that you could finally break away from the prohibitions of your brother, from the small life of the settlement, had an invigorating effect on your soul.

"Uh…well…I don't know." Hytham was suddenly speechless, fidgeting shyly, glancing around the hall. "I don't think your brother would be happy if I took you."

"Eivor would only be happy if I was sitting on the shelf in his room until Ragnarök." You rolled your eyes, poking at your brother in annoyance. "Please Hytham! I promise I'll be of use to you!" Leaning closer to him, you betted your eyelashes so sweetly, gazing up at him in the hope that his heart softens for your request.

But Hytham's heart no longer needed cunning tricks to seduce him.

An indescribable force has drawn him to you since his arrival in the North. The man stood mesmerized by your beauty and as the months went by, as he got to know your pure soul, bright mind, and sharp tongue more and more, he grew a great passion for your person.

Young fierce love or it was a heart-wrenching, bittersweet yearning; he didn't know yet – Hytham was only certain of this: that your nearness filled him with hope and happiness.

And that was enough for him.

"I— I can Basim when he might not need my help, and if he releases me, we can go…if you really want to, of course." He agreed with a warm smile on his face.

Sheepishness filled you under his penetrating gaze – your heart pounded, and slowly the heat of the fire seemed cold compared to the warmth of your skin, as you could only look at your mug while blushing.

When did the young man from the far east start to interest you? When did you notice his charming smile and delightful gaze? How many times have you melted by his eloquence, gentle speech, patience or care? Why did you feel you could never tell Hytham this, because of Eivor? That your brother would definitely stand in your way, even if only for a spark of happiness.

Perhaps better at rest; to live unchanged; as in shame and regret.

"So be it, Hytham." You agreed, now in a much more subdued tone. "If you have come to an agreement with Basim, please tell me immediately!" You promised him as he bowed in agreement.

Maybe you were given a chance for a way out after all. Maybe you'll finally manage to break free from your brother's wings. Maybe if you start on this unknown path, you can find yourself in someone else's arms.

#ac valhalla #assassin's creed #assassin's creed valhalla #ac hytham #ac valhalla hytham #hytham #hytham x reader #ac hytham x reader #ac valhalla imagine #ac valhalla fanfic #my writing #i need someone to sedate me

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womanofwords · 23 days

Text

Voice Changer

Villain grinned at the captive she'd taken. Admittedly, she'd been trying to get to Hero, but Scientist was still a pretty good score. Scientist was useful and respected, and she should be able to put them to work on something she can use to dominate the world! "So," Villain said, "ready to have your intellect used for evil, Scientist?"

"You're going to regret doing this," Scientist said.

"HA! I highly doubt that!" Villain laughed. She had been working hard on that laugh. "All you heroes spew the same four lines, and they're always wrong! Besides, why would anybody regret being truly in charge of the entire world?"

"That's not what I'm talking about," Scientist said. "I mean the part where you're kidnapping me and stuff. You're going to fail miserably and in spectacular fashion."

"Silence! I'm evil and you work for me now!" Villain grabbed the nearest thing to her to threaten Scientist with, but the closest thing she had was a letter opener. Still sharp, though. "Or you'll get cut with this! You'll never be able to face a mirror ever again once I'm done with you!"

Scientist's eyes grew wide with terror. Good; she'd struck fear into them. "OK. I'll do as you ask. Please don't hurt me!"

Villain smirked. "Good. Now, I have a voice changer I need you to repair. Currently, it won't let me say anything at all and completely mutes me."

"What voice do you want? And why do you want to change your voice at all?"

Villain groaned, rolling her eyes. "Can't you hear me, you little weasel? My real voice is too high-pitched for anybody to take seriously. That's why I want you to fix my voice changer."

"OK." Scientist smiled.

"There's a good little nerd." Villain tossed the voice changer at Scientist. "Have fun fixing it up! I'm going to be unforgettable while making my demands of the world!"

"I certainly will," Scientist muttered.

(PAUSE)

Scientist handed over the voice changer to Villain, looking down at the floor. "There's a good little scientist, listening to me so well," Villain mocked. "My demands will be happening in a few minutes, and I can't have you making noise in the background."

"OK. I'll make myself scarce," Scientist said.

"I've got a much better solution," Villain remarked, approaching Scientist with chains.

"You don't need to do this! I said I'd make myself scarce!"

"A good villain is prepared for anything, including runaway hostages," Villain said, as she pounced on her captive. Scientist was taller than Villain, but not stronger, and Villain overpowered them and wrapped their body in chains.

Villain smoothed out her clothes and wiped her face before her big appearance. She had to be looking perfect for her big day terrifying the idiotic little heroes. She put on her voice changer, turned on her camera and began to talk.

"Greetings, future subjects!" she laughed. "Meet your future leader, Villain! As you can see with your feeble eyes, I have already captured Scientist and he is right over - what?"

Scientist was gone. The chains were left behind in a coiled heap. An emergency parachute that she kept on hand was also missing. "HOW DID THEY ESCAPE FROM THAT?!" Her eye began to twitch, and she got back to talking. "Never mind. I got everything I need from him anyway. Now, onto my demands. I will need millions of dollars into the bank account I have set up for this very occasion, or - DAMMIT!"

The voice changer Scientist had 'fixed' was nowhere near as fixed as they said, much to Villain's humiliation. Villain hadn't noticed until it was too late, but the voice modulator had made her voice even more high-pitched than it was normally. It sounded like the safety of the world was being threatened by the leader of the Lollipop Guild!

"What the hell? What's happening to my voice changer?" Her voice, normally only slightly high-pitched, now sounded like she'd inhaled helium before filming herself. "No, no, no! This can't be happening right now! I'm supposed to be plotting world takeover! OK, I'll kidnap a different scientist and get them to fix the voice changer. Hopefully nobody has seen this . . . embarrassing failure." She went to turn off the camera, only to notice a little indicator that made her heart fall out of her behind.

She was recording live.

And she had over 500,000 viewers.

Villain groaned as the mocking comments came flooding in. She was going to be the laughingstock of the villain community.

Supervillain was never going to let her hear the end of this once he found out.

#creative writing #my writing #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #heroes and villains #superheroes #super villians #world domination #loser villain

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