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luciddownloading · 6 months

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Astrology Observations: Aquarius Edition 👽

🧠 Aquarius Suns, Aquarius Moons and Aquarius Risings are all specific embodiments of the Aquarius energy, but kind of go against other traits of the sign (This makes sense as Aquarians hate being stereotyped/put in a box).

Aquarius Risings are the most individualistic. NOT afraid to be different or go against the grain. Very unique energies and personalities. However, the "unemotional" stereotype does not apply here. We may appear detached, just through our face/body language, or even act a bit aloof as a defense mechanism. But, in truth, Aquarius Risings are very passionate and expressive and can also be very sensitive to others.

Aquarius Suns are the most social and people-oriented. They make all kinds of friends, wherever they go, and sacrifice a lot of their personal needs for others. Though they aren't necessarily followers, they are very happy to do whatever their friends want to do. As a result, Aquarius Suns aren't quite so nonconforming. Their weirdness is mostly in their sense of humor or life motto. Otherwise, they care a lot about social acceptance (which creates a certain inner conflict because they also feel like they shouldn't care).

Aquarius Moons are the most emotionally detached. Their feelings are often treated like a silly inconvenience to them. So, they either just brush them off or deal with them as if they are the emotions of someone else who needs good advice. As a result, their feelings continually "sneak up" on them and cause them to go a little wild/crazy and not know why. However, in contrast to the "social butterfly" description, Aquarius Moons are often very introverted or even shy. Not terribly social, very much loners, though they are good one-on-one and learn to "perform" extroversion well.

🧠 Aquarius' intuitive/psychic skills are seriously slept on. It can rival the Water signs, sometimes, especially when the Aquarius isn't too in their head. The ability to "just know" things about people and situations is unmatched. Receiving messages and insights through dreams or visions is also common.

🧠 Mars in Aquarius people typically are cool as a cucumber in situations that would make others livid and then flip OUT about things most people wouldn't even react to. Or they specialize in pissing others off, knowing the exact buttons to push, while they remain calm and collected.

🧠 The "ahead of your time" thing for Aquarius placements can manifest differently. It can mean being an artist/creative who takes a particularly long time to finally find success or recognition. It can mean telling the truth about someone or a situation and not being believed or vindicated until a few years later. Or it can just mean understanding things much more quickly than others.

In any case, you have to get used to the fact that it takes some time for others to "catch up" to you and not take it personally.

🧠 Venus in Aquarius individuals can have a polarizing effect. Those who are attracted to them adore their quirky appeal or the fact that they don't fit conventional standards. But, this is the very reason their haters feel the need to criticize them and label them unattractive.

🧠 Aquarius Moons might not exactly like children or see themselves becoming a parent (especially women with this placement) but then, out of nowhere, feel an undeniable draw toward parenthood. It truly turns their world upside down and can really help heal their inner child, which they don't have the best or most natural connection to.

🧠 Aquarius Risings always feel out of place but feel it the most among their family of origin. Either their personality or their appearance (or both) is wildly different than their other immediate relatives. They may also be the only child of their gender or the only tall one.

🧠 Those with Mercury in Aquarius tend to surprise people with their high intellect. They are unpretentious so people can underestimate their intelligence until they get going in a conversation or on a special interest. They can easily switch from being very quiet to very talkative and eloquent.

🧠 Aquarius Suns are much less flighty or flaky, socially, than their Gemini and Libra counterparts. They are a Fixed sign so they are too loyal to ghost or bail. They are still chaotic, though, and may not get back to you when you want them to. But, they eventually come through.

🧠 Although you can't label us too easily, people with Aquarius placements basically fall into one or more of these four categories: "magical, whimsical, otherworldly being", "brilliant yet scatterbrained and occasionally controversial professor", "maniac that everyone thinks is chill" and "chill person who everyone thinks is crazy".

#astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #aquarius #aquarius placements #aquarius energy #aquarius sun #aquarius moon #aquarius rising #aquarius mercury #aquarius venus #aquarius mars #aquarius stellium

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Having ADHD and Being A Little Punk Rock

So....a huge amount of the discourse on Tumblr around neurodiversity generally is just venting. Which is good, it’s good to vent and Tumblr is a good place for it. And I know that often, when venting, the LAST thing you want to hear is someone trying to offer help or solutions. So generally I keep my mouth shut unless someone is speaking to me specifically.

But a while back I saw someone asking (rhetorically) about what people with ADHD wish their parents had known, and I had a lot of thoughts about that which I started jotting down. Reading the various ADHD tags, I also see a lot of teens and twentysomethings with ADHD who visibly have no coping mechanisms and no way of creating them. I don’t blame the kids, and it’s not some kind of personal failing on their part; they’re young, and nobody has taught them. But I look at them and I think, A little sideways thinking would help you out so much. Then, recently, I got an ask (thank you for the permission not to respond directly) that was full of feelings about not being able to process or communicate well, and feeling a lot of negative emotions because of it.

So, maybe it’s time to just throw this out there. I want to offer some advice as Fandom Dad with forty-three years of being neurodiverse and exactly seven months of actually being aware I was neurodiverse. Which for once is actually going to be pretty helpful! Because I looked at the world and I assumed my own neurotypicality and I thought, well, okay, but fuck all that.

Allow me to explain.

I think this can apply to a number of ways in which people are neurodiverse, but I have ADHD so that’s what I’m really speaking to here. With ADHD, there’s medication, and I strongly urge people to explore that option because medication is awesome when it works. But there’s also a lot out there about how to try harder, or trick yourself into doing something in a very neurotypical way, or use systems that may not work for you. I know; I tried some too, and the sense of failure, the sense of being an ongoing failure, is terrible. So I want to offer an alternative which has helped me a great deal, and may help other people with ADHD, particularly younger people.

People of any age, but especially young people who have ADHD, should be made aware that it’s okay to suck at things, to struggle, and to fail. Even if you think you should be good at something, even if everyone around you thinks so too, it’s okay to just be garbage at it and to acknowledge that fact. But just saying “well I’m dumb and can’t do this” of course isn’t actually helpful, and harms you a great deal, because you are a living person with feelings and if you’re self-aware enough to notice, you’re also too smart to be calling yourself dumb. Acknowledging that you’re bad at something, and even acknowledging that you’d like to succeed at it, is only part one of figuring life out.

Part two is deciding what to do about it, and more importantly, how.

I was always told I was smart, but I was told “You’re smart so you should be able to do this”, not “You’re smart, so let’s come up with a way around this.” I don’t think many people are encouraged to explore why they are bad at something, to understand their own brains and thought processes which cause them to struggle.

Decades before I knew I had ADHD, I had to figure out that one of life’s most important skills is not being able to creatively solve problems but to recognize when you have to. Anyone can sit around and come up with three or four ways to solve a problem, but it’s not actually often taught that you should also be aware of when this is needed. Often, when faced with a problem that is difficult to solve, we’re taught that our reaction should be the socially approved “I just need to try harder”. Sometimes that’s true, but usually it’s not.

More often, when we feel that instinct, especially as people with ADHD, we should say instead, “I’m not going to try harder, that’s bullshit. I’m trying already. I’m going to find another way to solve this problem.” Trying harder doesn’t work, after all, when your own brain is fighting you.

So you stop and think, if there were no rules to the world, how could I do this? You don’t have to work smarter; a lot of my solutions could reasonably be described as “work dumber”. The point is to work differently in a way that helps you specifically.

Stop trying to remember to take your keys when you leave the house and get a lanyard and hang them on the doorknob; if you lose them a lot, hang the lanyard around your neck when you leave the house.

Stop pretending you’ll remember to scoop the litterbox every night and set an alarm that tells you to do it. Or don’t, that works for me but might not for you! Maybe you have to put the litterbox somewhere you’ll see it right before bed (I ALSO do this for the days I turn off the alarm and then promptly forget it happened).

There are phone charging cords in every room of my home so that I never run down my phone battery, something that is mildly inconvenient to have happen but deeply anxiety-inducing to think about for me. And now I never worry.

The point is, don’t ask how you can do better at something, ask how you can make something easier for you.

Even rewiring your brain to ask the question is a learned skill, though. You have to consciously stop when you find something is fighting you and consciously think, how can this be easier for my specific brain? If we assume I am not stupid but am in fact fighting an invisible monster, how do I make the monster visible?

Life became roughly 60% easier for me when I started thinking this way. Of all the tips for time management and list making and organizing and de-organizing you can try and implement, none of that is necessary if you know how to ask yourself, “How do I do this differently?” and come up with alternatives that suit your brain.

Especially with neurodivergence, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling it, neurologically or emotionally. So I think that it’s important to be a little bit punk rock. Not necessarily in the way of defying authority but in the way of defying convention -- the ability to say “fuck you” to the Way Things Are Done and do one’s own thing is very liberating and healthy. You lose a lot of the benefits of creative problem solving if you’re also ashamed of the solutions. So I think the best trick I know of to succeed despite unmedicated ADHD is just to say “fuck you, there must be an easier way to do this.”

I’m garbage at cleaning my home (I can say that because I’m not only calling myself garbage, I’m using “I’m bad at this” as a stepping stone to solving the problem, and then I no longer feel like garbage and can joke about it with a healthy ego). I vacuum regularly and do the dishes and such but like...I don’t scrub the floors or dust or wash out the bathtub. That’s part of why I do November Cleaning -- so that at least once a year those things, that I never want to do but always think I should do, get done, but only have to be done once and at a specific designated time. So now if the bathroom floor is a bit grimy in the corners I just think, “Ah -- that’s for November” and add it to my November Cleaning list.

For my friend who struggles with communication, which is something I also used to really struggle with (and still do in some ways), one of my “make stuff easier” techniques for this was simply to...tell people.

“Hey, I tend to talk really fast when I get excited, so please tell me if I need to slow down.”

“Sorry, I have some hearing issues, I may ask you to repeat something -- it’s fine just to do it slower, I don’t need louder.”

“I’m upset and struggling, I need a minute.” (or even just “Hey where’s the bathroom?” so you can sit quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts. If you’re too upset to talk, it also helps to type them out, which I often do.)

If someone tells me something I want to remember, I’ll get out my phone and say “Sorry, I’m still listening, but I want to write that down so I won’t forget it.” I do all my writing-things-down in Google Tasks, then once I’m somewhere quiet and private I review the notes and move stuff that isn’t actually “to do” to another list. Sometimes I’ll tell someone “I’m so sorry, you just said something and I totally missed it, but it’s important to me -- can you repeat it?”

Most people find that kind of honesty, where you’re open about why you’re maybe talking at cross-purposes, really charming. It indicates that you think they are important, and you’re putting in effort to hear what they’re saying and respond to it thoughtfully.

I hope this is helpful in finding ways around some basic problems, rather than through them -- that being able to stop and think “This could be easier -- how?” is something that people can internalize and make use of. Going around a mountain rather than through it might look like it’ll take more time and energy, but it beats trying to punch through granite the whole way there.

#sam has adhd

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shooting-stars-only · 29 days

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Please tell us how to get into IT without a degree! I have an interview for a small tech company this week and I’m going in as admin but as things expand I can bootstrap into a better role and I’d really appreciate knowing what skills are likely to be crucial for making that pivot.

Absolutely!! You'd be in a great position to switch to IT, since as an admin, you'd already have some familiarity with the systems and with the workplace in general. Moving between roles is easier in a smaller workplace, too.

So, this is a semi-brief guide to getting an entry-level position, for someone with zero IT experience. That position is almost always going to be help desk. You've probably heard a lot of shit about help desk, but I've always enjoyed it.

So, here we go! How to get into IT for beginners!

The most important thing on your resume will be

✨~🌟Certifications!!🌟~✨

Studying for certs can teach you a lot, especially if you're entirely new to the field. But they're also really important for getting interviews. Lots of jobs will require a cert or degree, and even if you have 5 years of experience doing exactly what the job description is, without one of those the ATS will shunt your resume into a black hole and neither HR or the IT manager will see it.

First, I recommend getting the CompTIA A+. This will teach you the basics of how the parts of a computer work together - hardware, software, how networking works, how operating systems work, troubleshooting skills, etc. If you don't have a specific area of IT you're interested in, this is REQUIRED. Even if you do, I suggest you get this cert just to get your foot in the door.

I recommend the CompTIA certs in general. They'll give you a good baseline and look good on your resume. I only got the A+ and the Network+, so can't speak for the other exams, but they weren't too tough.

If you're more into development or cybersecurity, check out these roadmaps. You'll still benefit from working help desk while pursuing one of those career paths.

The next most important thing is

🔥🔥Customer service & soft skills🔥🔥

Sorry about that.

I was hired for my first ever IT role on the strength of my interview. I definitely wasn't the only candidate with an A+, but I was the only one who knew how to handle customers (aka end-users). Which is, basically, be polite, make the end-user feel listened to, and don't make them feel stupid. It is ASTOUNDING how many IT people can't do that. I've worked with so many IT people who couldn't hide their scorn or impatience when dealing with non-tech-savvy coworkers.

Please note that you don't need to be a social butterfly or even that socially adept. I'm autistic and learned all my social skills by rote (I literally have flowcharts for social interactions), and I was still exceptional by IT standards.

Third thing, which is more for you than for your resume (although it helps):

🎇Do your own projects🎇

This is both the most and least important thing you can do for your IT career. Least important because this will have the smallest impact on your resume. Most important because this will help you learn (and figure out if IT is actually what you want to do).

The certs and interview might get you a job, but when it comes to doing your job well, hands-on experience is absolutely essential. Here are a few ideas for the complete beginner. Resources linked at the bottom.

Start using the command line. This is called Terminal on Mac and Linux. Use it for things as simple as navigating through file directories, opening apps, testing your connection, that kind of thing. The goal is to get used to using the command line, because you will use it professionally.

Build your own PC. This may sound really intimidating, but I swear it's easy! This is going to be cheaper than buying a prebuilt tower or gaming PC, and you'll learn a ton in the bargain.

Repair old PCs. If you don't want to or can't afford to build your own PC, look for cheap computers on Craiglist, secondhand stores, or elsewhere. I know a lot of universities will sell old technology for cheap. Try to buy a few and make a functioning computer out of parts, or just get one so you can feel comfortable working in the guts of a PC.

Learn Powershell or shell scripting. If you're comfortable with the command line already or just want to jump in the deep end, use scripts to automate tasks on your PC. I found this harder to do for myself than for work, because I mostly use my computer for web browsing. However, there are tons of projects out there for you to try!

Play around with a Raspberry Pi. These are mini-computers ranging from $15-$150+ and are great to experiment with. I've made a media server and a Pi hole (network-wide ad blocking) which were both fun and not too tough. If you're into torrenting, try making a seedbox!

Install Linux on your primary computer. I know, I know - I'm one of those people. But seriously, nothing will teach you more quickly than having to compile drivers through the command line so your Bluetooth headphones will work. Warning: this gets really annoying if you just want your computer to work. Dual-booting is advised.

If this sounds intimidating, that's totally normal. It is intimidating! You're going to have to do a ton of troubleshooting and things will almost never work properly on your first few projects. That is part of the fun!

Resources

Resources I've tried and liked are marked with an asterisk*

Professor Messor's Free A+ Training Course*

PC Building Simulator 2 (video game)

How to build a PC (video)

PC Part Picker (website)*

CompTIA A+ courses on Udemy

50 Basic Windows Commands with Examples*

Mac Terminal Commands Cheat Sheet

Powershell in a Month of Lunches (video series)

Getting Started with Linux (tutorial)* Note: this site is my favorite Linux resource, I highly recommend it.

Getting Started with Raspberry Pi

Raspberry Pi Projects for Beginners

/r/ITCareerQuestions*

Ask A Manager (advice blog on workplace etiquette and more)*

Reddit is helpful for tech questions in general. I have some other resources that involve sailing the seas; feel free to DM me or send an ask I can answer privately.

Tips

DO NOT work at an MSP. That stands for Managed Service Provider, and it's basically an IT department which companies contract to provide tech services. I recommend staying away from them. It's way better to work in an IT department where the end users are your coworkers, not your customers.

DO NOT trust remote entry-level IT jobs. At entry level, part of your job is schlepping around hardware and fixing PCs. A fully-remote position will almost definitely be a call center.

DO write a cover letter. YMMV on this, but every employer I've had has mentioned my cover letter as a reason to hire me.

DO ask your employer to pay for your certs. This applies only to people who either plan to move into IT in the same company, or are already in IT but want more certs.

DO NOT work anywhere without at least one woman in the department. My litmus test is two women, actually, but YMMV. If there is no woman in the department in 2024, and the department is more than 5 people, there is a reason why no women work there.

DO have patience with yourself and keep an open mind! Maybe this is just me, but if I can't do something right the first time, or if I don't love it right away, I get very discouraged. Remember that making mistakes is part of the process, and that IT is a huge field which ranges from UX design to hardware repair. There are tons of directions to go once you've got a little experience!

Disclaimer: this is based on my experience in my area of the US. Things may be different elsewhere, esp. outside of the US.

I hope this is helpful! Let me know if you have more questions!

#answers.txt #feel free to reblog with more advice btw

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ceasarslegion · 28 days

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I know i have a lot of teenagers who follow me because i dont baby talk to them regarding things like drugs and alcohol and sex. So i wanted to throw out some advice that still saves my ass every day as an adult that i learned to instill in myself as a teenager:

-Learn how to keep house. I know that every adult is beating job skills into you right now and its overwhelming to say to least, but no matter what you end up doing with your life, you will need to know how to cook and clean and budget and go grocery shopping and do laundry and the dishes and x y z. You will need to know how to work with cleaning products like bleach safely and without creating mustard gas by accident. If you figure that out now, you will be able to take care of yourself for the rest of your life. Those are skills that you WILL need every day in the real world no matter what.

-i want to asterix the budgeting part. I know way too many grown adults who could be doing very well for themselves who are broke as shit and actively getting worse because they cant budget to save their lives. Managing your finances is what will often be the difference between living relatively comfortably and struggling to get by.

-dont get roommates if you can help it. I know you will want to, and it will seem like a fun idea to live with your friends and like nothing would go wrong, but roommates ruin friendships. If you can afford to live on your own when you first head out, do it. Trust me, paying the full rent is worth not having to deal with other peoples bullshit taking up your living space. I learned this the hard way, dont be like me. The only people you should be actively looking to live with at the young adult stage of your life are any permanent partner(s) that might come along the way, and you should rush that either. And taking some proper time to be on your own will do you so much good in the long run in realizing what kind of person you are and what you need in things like work, relationships, life in general, etc.

-you don't need a brand new car, and your first apartment doesnt need to be high end and fancy. All your firsts for those things need to be are functional, safe, and reliable. And you will love them regardless if theyre your first car/apartment. And you dont really NEED a car if youre an urbanite with a reliable enough transit system, either. Thats more of an individual thing if thats your situation. I live in an older apartment building with a stove from a brand that doesnt even exist anymore, but its real spacious for one person, in a nice part of downtown where everythings still right outside my door, and all my utilities are included. I pay 500 dollars less in rent a month for this than my coworker who lives 2 blocks away from me and has half the space i do with none of the utilities included because its all smart tech and luxury suites in that building. You don't need all that, you will not notice the difference when you actually live there.

-no one cares about high school tier drama when you hit your college years, especially if you go to an academically-based school. In my experience at least, the schools the nerds end up at think the d&d club is the coolest one on campus. This will pass, you will be fine. The nerds really do inherit the earth after you graduate, and all those bullies really do peak in high school. The guy who was the worst offender towards me in high school now literally pumps gas for his dads gas station because nobody else would hire him. Which is fine, its honest work, but it IS a tad ironic how things worked out there after so many years of telling me he'd be my boss one day. Yeah sure, howd that work out bud

-please dont get into drugs and alcohol just to be cool. I know every adult has treated you like some porcelain doll to be handled with baby gloves regarding any sort of substance, but if you choose to partake in them, all i ask is that you be informed about the risks, you do it safely, and dont do it for social clout. Its not the substances im most concerned about there, its that when you do them for social approval, you dont know when to stop or how to listen to your body telling you thats enough, which is a straight shot to a potential addiction. Its your choice whether or not to consume drugs and/or alcohol, but its irresponsible to act like theres no real risk involved in them, especially if you have the kind of personality more susceptible to addiction. Do them for yourself, in safe environments, as cleanly as you can get them if possible, and only after you educate yourself about what the risks are and what resources there are in your area for healthcare and counseling if you do develop an addiction.

-be selfish, but dont be a dick. Your young adulthood is when you should be selfish in the sense of prioritizing your own mental health, work ascension/schooling, etc, but you can do all those things without being standoffish or disregarding other people in the process. You should be there for your loved ones if you can, but if you cant, give them the common courtesy of telling them. A simple "hey, id love to help you if i could, but i have too much going on right now to spare anything. But im always here to talk about it if you need it, ily and im wishing you all the best <3" is way better than "i cant help you right now, i have my own problems to deal with."

#some thoughts

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cantstoptheimagines · 2 months

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Dating Them Would Include…

Summary — Headcanons for Adora, Catra, and Perfuma from She-Ra & the Princesses of Power!

Requests ➳ Anonymous — Hello. Can I request Adora (She-Ra) with sarcastic S/O? ➳ Anonymous — G’day. I recently found this blog and decided to make a request: Catra with S/O, who use razor boomerangs (S/O can both throw them and use as daggers) as a weapons. Could you, please, write it? P.S. Have a good day. ➳ Anonymous — Hi there. Mind if I request some headcanons of Perfuma dating pyromancer!S/O?

Warnings & Other Tags ➳ Fluff for Adora and Perfuma; a little toxicity for Catra because our baby needs therapy; I’m currently rewatching this show and realizing that I remember nothing from it.

Notes ➳ Word Count is 560. ➳ Reader is gender neutral (they/them). ➳ Multiple requests were combined for this work.

adora

adora is literally feral sometimes

(all the time)

since she grew up in the horde, she has little to no social skills when you first meet her

so don’t even try making any sarcastic jokes or references to the rest of etheria because she will not understand lol

she eventually grows used to things outside of the horde and the two of you became fast friends

but then, one day, she watches you give a horde soldier a black eye

and there’s a little flutter in her stomach

she subtly brings it up to bow, who says she just had a case of butterflies, which was probably a mistake because she always takes things way too literally

so for a solid month, she’s convinced she has actual butterflies in her stomach that just won’t leave

eventually, though, they overwhelm her and she kisses you in the heat of battle

from then on, you’re a package deal

where you go, she goes

trails behind you like a lost puppy sometimes

soft adora fans rise!

catra

catra is hard to understand most of the time

one second, she’s solely focused on you

and the next, she’s on a rampage

sorry to say but a relationship with her would not be easy to maintain. it would take a lot of work on both sides

she’d need to control her impulsive temper and you’d need to have a very empathetic heart

once things settle down and she becomes friends with adora again, all that stress is lifted from her shoulders

she becomes kinder, more considerate, and softness envelopes her heart

even though you’ve told her a million times that her past mistakes are not a reflection of her current self, she continues trying to make up for them

but of course, this is catra we’re talking about

she often gives you new weapons, always opposed to more traditional items

your personal favorite being a twin set of razor-sharp daggers, which made your eyes glimmer with excitement upon opening them

she was proud of herself for that one

what she offers the most, however, is loyalty

she has betrayed and has been betrayed so many times that she swears to never do so again

she hopes you’ll do the same. because if you stick by her through thick and thin, she’ll eventually open up

all she needs is time

perfuma

super kind and very affectionate, even when you’re still “just friends” (side eye bc that doesn’t last long lol)

be prepared because you’ll constantly be smothered in affection by perfuma

if you have any elemental powers, like pyromancy, she’ll only love you more since that’s one more thing you both have in common

her love language is touch, no doubt, 100%

she’s constantly giving you warm hugs and squeezing your hand so tight that it goes numb

you can’t resist kissing her whenever she smiles at you with sparkling eyes and pink cheeks

always giving one another sweet compliments you greet each other

you can trust her no matter what. she’d never cause you pain and would be haunted by regret if she did

seriously, i don’t think she’d ever forgive herself

she’s just so loyal to the people she loves, especially you

you better like flowers because you’ll be getting fresh bouquets every day for the rest of your life

god i love her so much

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meiliarotten · 8 months

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Midnight Waltz

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairing: Spy x Fem!Reader

Summary: An impromptu dance lesson quickly turns heated

Tags: Dance lessons, sexual tension, multiple orgasms, fingering, praise, teasing, begging, scratching

Word Count: 4.3k

The Masterlist

“What do you mean, you don’t dance?”

You sat in Spy’s smoking room, watching as the man in question struggled to grasp the concept that you didn’t dance. It was as if the idea of someone who didn’t know a thing about dance was completely foreign to him. You found it odd, given that you had spent most of your life in the mercenary business, that he would take you as someone with that specific skill.

Spy rarely let anyone simply loiter in his smoking room. It was his private sanctuary away from the chaos of mercenary life, but the two of you were particularly close, and more importantly, you were quiet. You would simply relax in a corner with a magazine and a glass of wine, sometimes so silent that he forgot you were even there. Today however, it seemed you were both in the mood for some conversation, and the topic ultimately led to an upcoming gala hosted and sponsored by Mann Co. itself. Of course, all the mercenaries were expected to attend.

“It's more like I can’t dance, actually,” you clarified, watching Spy take a final drag from his cigarette before snuffing it out in a nearby ashtray, exhaling the smoke with an exasperated huff. “I was never taught. Especially not the kind of dancing they do at these fancy parties.”

You recalled some time long before you took up mercenary work, back when you would go clubbing with friends. Even then, you weren’t a good dancer, but in the drunken neon haze of the nightclub scene, no one really cared. The people on the dance floor were like a single complex organism fueled by the painfully loud base that left you half deaf by the end of the night. Once you joined them you were simply another miniscule part of the whole made up of flailing limbs and whipping hair.

So yeah, needless to say you weren’t exactly cut out for social dancing among polite company.

You shrugged. “Is it really such a big deal? It's not like anyone will notice if I stay on the sidelines, chatting over some fancy finger food.”

“Au contraire, mademoiselle. You would be surprised how much conversation can occur over the course of a single waltz,” he said, gesturing as if he were a professor giving a lecture. “And that ‘fancy finger food’ is more commonly known as hors d'oeuvres.”

“So, fancy finger food for people who like long, contrived names.” You ignored the way Spy scoffed at your simplification of his precious French terminology. “You’re acting like this is an opportunity to impress employers. In case you haven’t noticed, we have a pretty steady job.” Sure, it consisted of murdering clones of yourselves on the daily, but that wasn’t important.

Spy seemed to consider your point. There really was no need to network when you were in such a strange, yet stable position. Plus, thanks to the respawn machine, employment wouldn’t be terminated anytime soon. After all, who in their right mind would get rid of mercenaries that could literally come back from the dead?

“Honestly, I think the only reason our boss is putting on this party to begin with is to show us off,” you continued. “He’s letting all his fellow billionaires know that they shouldn’t mess with him. Why else would people like us be invited to something like this anyway? Especially since Soldier is almost guaranteed to try to sneak fireworks into the event hall.” He had done it before, and you were sure as hell that he would do it again.

“What you're saying could very well be true, but even so, someone may still ask you to dance.” Spy hesitated a moment before continuing. “You are quite an attractive person, after all.” You glanced up at him with wide eyes and a slight smirk. If it weren’t for the balaclava, you may have noticed the slight pink flush that came over his cheeks when he realized what exactly he had just said. Spy quickly shook his head, changing the subject. “The point is, I simply can’t have one of my colleagues making a fool out of herself at such a prestigious event. It would ultimately reflect on all of us.”

You laughed, not even trying to hide the way you rolled your eyes. “Wow, alright. So what, are you offering to teach me?”

“I am, in fact.”

You looked up at Spy, scanning his expression for any sign of a joke- a slightly upturned corner of the mouth, a glint of mischief in his eye- but all you were met with was sincerity. “Seriously?” you asked, still a bit surprised by the offer.

Spy simply nodded, offering his hand with a soft smile. The whole gesture was so genuine, you couldn’t bring yourself to turn it down. Maybe just one or two dances. By then Spy would probably be sick of you tripping over your own feet and you could go on with your life.

You took his hand, resisting the urge to caress the smooth leather of his gloves. Already you could feel a bit of warmth in your cheeks. “So, where do we start?” you asked, trying your best to remain casual and not stare at the floor. If you started blushing like a schoolgirl just from holding his hand, you weren’t sure how you would get through the rest of this alive.

“A waltz is quite simple, a perfect starting point,” Spy declared. “Do you know the proper positioning?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Why the hell did you say that? You didn’t know shit about the waltz. Proper positioning? What did that even mean? Who decided that formal dances should be so complicated?

“Would you like to demonstrate, my dear?”

Spy’s voice snapped you out of your racing thoughts. “Oh, right. We’re doing this.” You thought back to cheesy romance films, particularly ones with dance scenes. Shakily, you placed a hand on Spy’s shoulder. You barely suppressed a gasp when his hand dropped to your waist in turn, pulling you closer.

“Perfect. It seems you know more than you thought,” Spy said, almost sounding proud. “Now, with one hand on my shoulder and the other…”

His words seemed muffled, fading into the background as you found yourself unable to focus. The two of you were so close. God, you were nearly flush against him. Is this how you were expected to dance with complete strangers? Or was this something specifically for this lesson?

“Are you still there, chérie?”

You shook your head. “Sorry, I’m listening!” That was a lie, but Spy was being uncharacteristically patient with you today, especially given that this was the second time you had completely zoned out on him. He even cracked a smile, noticing how flustered you were.

“There is no need to be nervous. As I said before, this is quite simple. Now, a waltz follows a count of three beats per measure…” And with that, Spy could already see your eyes starting to glaze over, so he abandoned that approach for a more active method. “For now, simply follow my lead, and I will correct your technique as we go along.

“Oh, okay,” you said. It seemed you were just jumping right in, thrown into the deep end of the metaphorical pool with no life jacket. Of course, your steps were clumsy at first, and you struggled to follow Spy’s lead.

“Step with confidence, my dear,” he said. “Don’t hesitate, or you will throw the whole dance off rhythm.”

You did as he said, trying your best not to overthink this. Slowly, you allowed yourself to be led into the dance, following along as Spy guided you and offered occasional corrections. After a while, you found that you were doing a decent job. It wasn’t amazing, but it was passable, and you felt quite proud of yourself.

Still, every so often you found yourself staring down at your feet, trying to examine the steps only for Spy to chastise you. “Don’t look down, dear. Eyes up. Stay focused.” He tilted your chin upward, giving you no choice but to meet his gaze. You could’ve sworn that you were being pulled closer, ever so slowly.

It felt like you were practically flush against Spy when you stumbled, falling against him with a gasp. Quickly, you tried to brush it off. “Damn, right when I thought I was finally getting the hang of this,” you said, laughing nervously. Spy, however, remained stone-faced. He didn’t look upset, but he seemed deep in thought, and it made you a bit nervous. “Hey, is everything alright?”

“I meant what I said earlier, chérie.”

You tilted your head to the side, noticing that his arm was still wrapped around your waist, practically supporting your weight as you leaned on him. “What do you mean?” you murmured, genuinely unable to remember anything prior to these moments of closeness, of what you could almost call intimacy.

“When I said you were attractive, I meant it. I would be a fool not to take the opportunity to be close to you.” His grip tightened subtlety. It sent a pleasant shiver up your spine. You weren’t sure what to say, so you simply cupped Spy’s cheek. He leaned into the touch, eyes drifting closed for a peaceful moment before he looked down at you again, meeting your eyes with an intensity that you hadn’t seen before. “May I kiss you?”

“What?” Your mind was numb, blank, devoid of anything but the need to be as close to this man as you possibly could. You could barely process the question. It felt too much like a dream to be real.

“I asked permission to kiss you, chérie,” Spy repeated. You quite liked this new petname he was using for you.

“I would like that,” you whispered, afraid that if you spoke too loud this whole perfect situation would somehow shatter, or reveal itself to be some kind of cruel facade. “Please.”

Spy hesitated a second longer, and that proved to be the motivation you needed to take some initiative, finally closing the distance between the two of you. He melted the moment your lips met his, pulling you tightly against him with a soft moan. Your hands gripped the lapels of his suit, pulling him forward as you deepened the kiss, running your tongue along his lips experimentally. Spy reciprocated, lips parting slowly as he allowed you free reign of his mouth. His hands squeezed your hips, making you squirm. You parted with a gasp when you felt him buck gently against you, feeling a telltale hardness against your thigh.

“I want you.” You felt breathless, your words coming between pants, barely able to piece together a full sentence. When you looked up at Spy, he met your gaze with a look that could only be described as ravenous. “I want you to fuck me, please.”

Oh, the way your voice took on a sweet little whine as you pleaded for him. Spy wondered if you knew you could ruin him like this. “Mon Dieu, I thought you would never ask.”

The next few moments were a blur. Inconsequential articles of clothing were shed, a tie here, a jacket there, just enough to lessen the amount of layers between the two of you for now. A trail of garments led across the room until the back of your thighs hit a nearby desk, which Spy quickly cornered you against. One of his hands tangled in your hair, pulling your head to the side ever so gently to expose your neck to him.

You let out soft moans as he began to kiss the sensitive skin there, working his way up along your jaw and then down to your collar again. Kisses turned to sucking on the delicate skin, no doubt leaving a trail of hickeys that you would need to hide tomorrow. It was when he began to graze his teeth along your pulse, teasing you with the possibility of a bite, that you started whimpering.

You were sitting on the desk by now, having hoisted yourself up onto it after your knees threatened to buckle under the tension. Your legs wrapped around Spy’s hips, yanking him forward suddenly. He nearly fell on top of you, finally pulling away from your neck to see you smirking up at him with a devious glint in your eye. It was so very tempting to wipe that smirk right off your face right now, to have his way with you until you were a sweaty, trembling mess.

However, Spy stopped himself. No, not like this. In all his fantasies of finally having you, touching you, feeling you, it was never so cheap or frantic, and it certainly wasn’t on the hard, unforgiving surface of his desk. You deserved better.

He pulled away, nearly undone by the pitiful noise you made when he did. His hand brushed against your cheek and you leaned into the soothing touch, looking up at him with a mix of confusion and desire. “Why did you stop?”

“I thought you might like to move somewhere more comfortable.” Spy motions towards his bedroom. It was an offshoot of his smoking room, something he had no doubt hassled Ms. Pauling for back when he was first hired. It was exactly the kind of thing he would do, but it was definitely worth it. His room offered more privacy than any of the other mercenaries’ quarters, save for perhaps Medic’s.

Your eyes were wide, clearly anxious to accept Spy’s offer, but you managed to reel yourself in. It was adorable really, how you tried to restrain yourself, not wanting to come off as overeager. “I would like that,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. “As long as you’re alright with it.”

Spy smiled softly, finding it amusing that you were so shy, even now. “Of course, ma chérie.”

You were swept up that instant, giving a surprised yelp as Spy carried you off bridal style. Now it was your turn to melt, swooning as you rested your head on his shoulder, giggling softly to yourself. If Spy wasn’t holding you aloft, you would probably be kicking your legs in excitement.

Spy’s room was nearly as decadent as his smoking room. It made you wonder how much carpeting and curtains it had taken to disguise that the room was once a bare barracks like all the others. However you didn’t get much time to contemplate that as you were quickly sat upon the bed where Spy continued to kiss you passionately until you had to pull away for air.

You gasped, cursing under your breath, your voice shaky. For a moment Spy wondered if you were having second thoughts. “What’s wrong, darling?” He tilted your chin up gently so that you were looking at him.

“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head. “I just need to get out of these clothes.”

Spy grinned, the concern melting away from his expression and replaced with an eagerness that you had never seen from him before. “I can certainly help with that.”

You stood up from the bed and Spy quickly joined you in removing any remaining fabric he could get his hands on. He lifted your shirt up over your chest and made quick work of your pants as well while you unclipped your bra. You had barely laid back on the bed before he began lavishing you with affection, trailing kisses from your lips to your neck and letting his breath tickle your ear. It all happened so quickly, you didn’t even have a moment to feel self conscious about being completely naked in front of Spy for the first time.

Reaching up, you tried to touch him, to stroke his cheek or pull him in close. He caught your hand in his, kissing the knuckles before placing it back down. A gentle squeeze of your wrist made it clear that, at least for now, he would be the one doing the touching. Spy took his time too, mapping out your body with his lips and hands, kissing and caressing every inch. He took note of where you were sensitive, where a touch would cause you to squirm, or whine, or moan. He would be certain to pay special attention to those areas later.

Your face was flushed, and you hid your face behind your hands after you made a particularly embarrassing noise as Spy squeezed your hips. He looked up at you, amused by the gesture and intrigued by how nervous you seemed to be, even now. For a brief moment he wondered if you had ever done this before. It didn’t matter, he decided, putting the thought out of his head. Whether this was your first time or your hundredth, he was going to make you feel absolutely divine.

“What would you like from me, ma chérie?” The question seemed overwhelming. You uncovered your face and began to stammer, unsure of what to say. Spy quickly threw out some offers, trying to put you at ease. “I could start with my fingers,” he said, brushing his hand against your inner thigh. “Or my tongue.”

You shivered. He was being genuine, but it still felt like teasing, especially since he was making you say what you needed out loud like this. Your face flushed, embarrassed by the words that were about to come out of your mouth. “Just play with my clit for now,” you blurted out, resisting the urge to once again cover your face with your hands. “Be gentle though, please.”

“Of course,” Spy said, his gaze softening as he pressed two fingers into you. You barely had a chance to react as he withdrew just as quickly, those fingers now slick with your arousal and allowing for frictionless pressure on your clit. You felt your head spin as Spy gently applied pressure, rubbing small circles around that sensitive bud. He watched you closely, easing up when you seemed to be getting overwhelmed. He upped the intensity slowly, and always with your permission. “You make such lovely expressions when I touch you like this.”

You were definitely blushing down to your neck now, biting your lip to stifle a whimper. Spy decided that he quite liked leaving you flustered, all red and desperate, but he wanted to see much more. If you were this alluring now, he needed to see what it looked like when you came for him. He doubled his efforts, pressing on your clit firmer, moving his fingers faster. It wasn’t long before you were falling apart, stumbling over your words, little tremors of pleasure causing you to shudder.

“Oh fuck, I- wait, Spy, I’m gonna-” Words failed you as you hit the point of no return. Your back arched, mouth agape in a silent scream as you came. Your muscles went taut before relaxing and causing you to go limp. Spy continued to touch you, guiding you into the aftershocks of pleasure, only stopping when you began to squirm and pull away from overstimulation.

“Fuck,” you panted, giving Spy an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, I tried to warn you-”

“Mon Dieu,” Spy whispered, causing you to fall silent. “You are beautiful when you come, darling.” You didn’t think your face could get any redder, yet it did. Your skin felt so hot as Spy kissed you again. This time it was desperate, almost sloppy, but the sheer passion and eagerness made up for it. “I want to see it again,” Spy moaned between kisses. “Please, mon amour, let me make you feel good.”

That gentlemanly demeanor was beginning to slip. Spy was practically rutting against you. You could feel his erection against your thigh and it sent a wace of renewed arousal straight to your core. “Fuck me,” you whispered. When he didn’t react you reached down to grab his cock. He went still with a gasp, clearly not expecting you to be so bold. “Please, fuck me already!”

Spy laughed, a bit taken aback by your sudden attitude. Perhaps in a different scenario he would have taken the opportunity to teach you a lesson, delivering punishment in the form of edging or even some swift spanks. Now was not the time for that kind of fun, though. He needed you as much as you needed him, and he was going to make sure that you felt the same ecstasy he would.

He ran his cock along your slit, pulling away whenever you tried to grind against him, much to your chagrin. Spy could tell you were wet enough to take him, and he wasn’t about to torture you any longer. In one quick motion he thrust into you, hitting deep and making you gasp. You shuddered beneath him, fingers immediately digging into the sheets as you adjusted to the feeling of finally being filled.

Spy leaned down, placing a soft kiss to your forehead as your breathing evened out. “Does this feel good, darling?” he asked,

“Fucking move!” you groaned through clenched teeth, offering a quick “please” at the end.

“I will take that as a yes.”

Despite your eagerness, Spy took things slow, just out of habit. He was used to gradual seduction and the benefits of a steady build up in tension. Admittedly, it was quite difficult on his end as well. You felt so good, and he couldn’t stifle the soft groans that spilled from his lips as he felt you clench around him.

“You’re so warm,” he whispered, being met with only impatient whines in response. Spy gasped when you suddenly raked your nails down his back, perhaps in an attempt to spur him on. It seemed you could be quite a brat once your inhibitions were completely gone. It was amusing, and certainly worth exploring on some other day, once Spy was finished spoiling you, of course

Finally, he gave into your ceaseless demands of “more, faster, harder…” You wanted him to fuck you until you were tearing at the sheets with a white knuckled grip. Your legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him deeper into you, assuring he hilted with every thrust.

“Such an eager little thing,” Spy crooned, running his hands up and down your body. He admired the way you shivered and arched into his touch whenever you could. You were so willing to let him explore every curve and edge on your body until he had committed it to memory. “Tu es si belle.”

You had no clue what he just said, but it was hot as hell. Spy smirked when he felt you tremble around him. He gently took you by the chin, tilting your head to maintain eye contact with him. You blinked a few times, trying to focus your gaze.

“Do you like it when I speak in my native tongue?” Spy asked, although the knowing look on his face seemed to imply he already knew the answer. You were dazed, nearly reaching your limit, yet you managed to give a shaky nod. If you were able to speak, you would have said that he could read the damn phone book in French for all you cared, and you would still probably find it hot. You just barely heard a soft laugh before Spy leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Tu es à moi. Tout à moi, my beautiful girl.”

The way he spoke seemed to send you into a frenzy. Desperate and fucked out of your mind, you were barely aware that you had started muttering a soft mantra of “please, please, please,” that eventually escalated into a shrill cry. You weren’t even sure what you were begging for.

Spy was nearing his limit, planting his hands firmly on the headboard for better leverage. Speaking without his voice breaking became a struggle. “Go on, ma chérie. Come for me, let it go,” he said, voice low but perfectly audible to you. You certainly didn’t need to be told twice.

It was like something within you snapped, a tight coiling finally finding release. You squirmed, nearly writhing as the pleasure overwhelmed you in waves. You heard a high pitched cry, and it took you a moment to realize that you were simply hearing your own moans. When the aftershocks began to ebb, you were still shaking.

Spy was much more reserved in his climax, his thrusts growing sloppy before going still. He whispered sweet nothings between moans, only some of which were in a language you could understand. His immediate instinct was to collapse, to roll aside and bask in the afterglow, but he reminded himself that you could probably use some attention.

Your face was red and tear streaked, which alarmed him initially. However your breathing was steady, and you gave him a reassuring smile to indicate that you felt no distress. You were simply overwhelmed in the moment. Spy leaned down to kiss you, nearly stealing what little breath you had. He held you against him as he rolled to the side, taking you into his arms and pulling you close, as if the very thought of being apart from you was unthinkable.

His hands brushed over your back, his fingers tracing mindless patterns across your skin as you settled into his embrace. Your limbs were tangled with his, both of you breathing slow as exhaustion began to set in. The late hour of the night along with the strenuous activity you had engaged in was finally catching up with you both, and you let your eyes flutter closed. Just as sleep was about to overtake you, you let out a soft chuckle.

“You know,” you said dreamily, already half asleep, “If all of your dance lessons end like this, I wouldn’t mind a few more.”

#tf2 x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #merc x reader #minors dni #smut #tf2 smut #team fortress 2 #cross posted on ao3 #tf2 #spy x reader #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #spy team fortress 2 #spy x you

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aita-blorbos · 4 months

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AITA for trying to earn some much needed cash by playing what I thought was going to be a harmless prank on a friend?

Hey tumblr! So I’m (31m) part of this close knit friend group, but honestly we think of ourselves more as a social movement. Yeah, I know how that sounds, but it’s honestly cool, trust me. A lot of what we do revolves around this one guy (33m) in our group who’s this insanely good public speaker (I’ll refer to him as “J” from now on). Sometimes J also incorporates these impressive magic tricks, he must’ve trained somewhere, but whenever I ask him he gets on some mystical bullshit or just mentions growing up around a wood shop. Like that makes sense. Whatever. Honestly, he does really get me excited sometimes about what he says, even if some of his eccentricities are a pain.

Another case in point: there doesn’t seem to be a lot of planning going around with the others, especially around money. Somehow, this has resulted in me being the one taking care of our finances (despite another guy literally being a tax accountant 🙄).

So, lately we’ve been pretty low on funds and have done a lot of couch surfing, which is not fucking easy when there’s 13 of us! I guess this has caused some tension, and things really exploded when some overly emotional fan broke a really expensive perfume bottle to make some sentimental statement. I yelled something about how the money gone into the perfume could’ve been better used, and while I know I could’ve read the room better, I was just really fucking pissed about everything.

Well, J responds with just the most condescending fucking shit where he kind of said he was more important than lower income people?? Like wtf??? It was after this that I decided to play a prank on him that would also fix our money problem.

You see, a while back J made some dumb comment threatening to destroy a heritage building in three days, and I guess somehow the authorities found out. He was charged, but no arrests were made since we do so much travelling and it’s not like he’s high on their priorities. However, a reward for information on his whereabouts still stands at 30 pieces of silver, which could mean no more crowded sleeping areas and dinners of stale bread and fish. I figured, I could anonymously call in, he would get arrested and end up with a slap on the wrist. We solve our money problem and he gets knocked down a few pegs. Worst comes to worse, he can always just escape using his skills from his magician shtick. No harm done, right?

First thing that goes wrong was somehow J found out, I still have no idea how. Instead of making a big scene though he just said some passive aggressive shit about it over supper. I just didn’t want to deal with that, so I got up and left. Ended up making the call to the cops that night. They found him hanging out with some of the others by a public park later and arrested him there.

Then everything else went wrong. There was a bunch of bureaucratic fuckery. It looks like J made a bigger splash than I thought, and he got moved from a lower level court to the highest one in our country. For some insane reason they increased his charges and gave him a death sentence?! I still have no idea how all this is fucking legal. Now, J’s on death row and everyone’s blaming me and I’m honestly freaking tf out.

AITA for accidentally getting my friend killed by doing what I thought was going to be a harmless prank?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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chaifootsteps · 5 months

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In a weird way the show kind of shot itself in the foot if it wanted us to like Stolas when it changed the tone to try to be serious and meaningful. In the pilot there was a tone of Wacky Hijinks and more of a sense that demons just did awful stuff to one another on the regular and it was way more normalized in that setting. Stolas was a 'sex pest' sort of character, but he was also over the top and villainous and fun. Even in Murder Family, it's treated as odd that Moxxie has any qualms about killing a human mother, not as the norm.

but when the show shifted to try and act like it took abuse seriously & simultaneously became just Earth But Colored Red, it caused massive problems for itself. Because that would suggest to any viewer who thought about it for longer than five seconds that Stolas coercing Blitz into the deal was worse than just 'sex obsessed demon behaves callously but isn't that unusual among his kind', it would suggest that what he did was abuse and should be recognized as such. It would suggest that Blitz yelling and demeaning Moxxie all the time is workplace bullying, and should be recognized as such.

But the show didn't want to do either of those things. It takes the view that some characters are Good, some Bad and when a Good Character does bad things they should be excused for it - or they should offer the thinnest veneer of an apology for it while continuing to do the exact same behavior.

I don't mean to imply what Stolas does in Murder Family would ever be OK and frankly I think SA and sexual coercion being treated comedically is a landmine of a topic that a writer far more skilled than Viv would struggle to pull off. There's a big difference in history and cultural context between Murder as Punchline and SA as Punchline. What I'm getting at here is that if the show had stuck closer to the usual notion of Hell having different social mores, they might have gotten away with selling Stolas as 'flawed but with comprehensible motives & sorta pitiable' instead of trying to make him 'a flawed (but not really) and sympathetic (not even close) character you should root for'. We could have had a character study of awful people without having to feel like the show expected us to like or root for them, and in a setting where everyone sucks most of the time, Stolas' behavior would stick out far less.

but all that would require Stolitz not being endgame, most likely.

tl:dr; but if the show wanted to switch gears and act like abuse and exploitation are not supposed to be The Norm in Hell, then it needed to acknowledge Stolas for what he really is: a manipulative abusive crybully who makes everyone's lives worse, actively abuses the underclass of Hell both in their labor and for sexual slavery, and is incapable of ever admitting anything is his fault. Gaslighting the audience into thinking Stolas is one of The Good Ones does not address his lousy behavior or a sympathetic character make, especially since he lives in a setting where even the Sin of Lust places massive value on consent. If Stolas' upbringing and surroundings had nothing to do with why he is the way he is, he doesn't even have that excuse for being such a massive self-piting heel most of the time

It's true. If Vivzie wanted to "fix" Stolas, she'd have to retcon Murder Family, but she can't do that because his coercive deal with Blitzo is so deeply entangled with everything else in this show. So the only alternative is to call him out for exactly what he is and exactly what you said -- a manipulative abusive crybully who makes everyone's lives worse.

But even that will never happen, because Vivzie is a manipulative abusive crybully herself who finds him adorable and his behavior sexy and charming.

#Anonymous #helluva boss critical #stolas critical #vivziepop critical #actual blog post

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pigeonwit · 23 days

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I love your ideas on animal imagery to fit with the newsies, so may I ask: what animal do you think Crutchie would fit?

so the thing with how i got rabbits from jack was that i happened to be naturally drawn to a lot of material that made me go 'oh jack-coded' and coincidentally also mentioned rabbits - with davey, it just felt like a natural thing to me, the obsession with loyalty and serving the hand that feeds you despite desperately wanting to run off the leash yet never being able to face the shame of disobedience. and then the two worked well together, the idea of jack, someone cunning and skilled, giving a very obedient davey something to chase and run towards. with race, it was a similar thing - i just kind of went 'horses? yeah.' because tbh it felt right and the more i thought about it, the idea of working til you break and running a set course until you're not good enough anymore, it made sense. i don't have anything like that for crutchie. there's nothing about a specific animal that i've read or watched that has made me go 'oh yeah crutchie-coded.' but the things that HAVE made me think of crutchie are all fairly similar! so while i do have some ideas for this question, it is mostly just spit-balling.

the stuff i've listened to that remind me of crutchie all have a connection in that they're often about beings that are considered small and unnoticeable. one specific one that reminds me of crutchie a lot is 'the tardigrade song' by cosmo sheldrake which is unironically one of my favourite songs. the idea of being small, not noticed, not needing much and being ok with that is very crutchie to me.

I live in the shrubbery, for that's all I crave I don't want these excitements to see me to my grave I can live life in vaccuums for years with no drink And put up with hardships more than you can think.

crutchie didn't need the big escape to santa fe - he wanted something beautiful when he was at his worst, sure, but it wasnt the same as jack's yearning for something to run towards. crutchie has all he needs right here in new york. yeah, it can suck, but crutchie can deal with that because he's not something that needs saving or moving to greener pastures; he can make his own greenery for himself. that said, i do absolutely believe - especially with matt duckett's more jaded crutchie - that crutchie isn't just happy-go-lucky kid who's just grateful for the little joys he has. he can be happy in new york not because he's just oh-so grateful to be there, but because he's able to find family there and make a life for himself outside of the oppressive social structures he lives within ('i don't need folks.. i got friends.'). but crutchie's definitely aware of the injustice and cruelty of new york - and everywhere, honestly. there's a reason he doesn't want to get swept up in jack's santa fe fantasy, because crutchie knows he's always going to get the same (or potentially worse) treatment wherever he goes. and in a weird schaudenfreudy way, i think he gets some kind of satisfaction when other people know that. crutchie is a realist, he's the one who tells them all that they should just suck it up, buy their papers and hit the streets while they still can. he tries throughout the musical to be a positive influence on the already shitty world around him, calling weisel 'mister weisel' instead of weasel, joking around with the newsies even if they do piss him off at times ('the limp sells about fifty papes a week all by itself!', etc), but i do think there has to be some kind of comfort in knowing he's not alone in his resentment towards the world they live in, which does make me think of all the pigeon imagery in paris paloma's 'notre dame'.

I rarely go down there, the view's just So beautiful from here and I can see everybody At their worst points At their worst points I'm not a sadist, I enjoy just being able To be witness of the loneliness and be a higher power In case there isn't one In case there isn't one

(to be clear - i'm not trying to draw on the christian imagery in this song. no shade to matt duckett for the whole rosary thing, it made for some nice moments on stage, but crutchie was based on a real jewish newsie and that should be recognized)

so i got kind of hooked on the bird imagery while i was thinking of this one, especially city birds that are viewed as pests despite being forced to evolve into a space that no longer accommodates them. and as i was thinking of other bird songs (and listen, i may just be grasping at straws here) i did land on 'nesting season' by brian david gilbert - i know most of his songs are just for fun but i genuinely unironically love that song so much and i think it does make sense for crutchie as a character, just look:

It’s nesting season which means a lesser goldfinch Comes to my bedroom window Every morning between seven and nine And then she fights with the bird inside my window Not knowing that she’s fighting herself And her territory is fine

[...]

And so I’m grateful my favorite lesser goldfinch Keeps tapping at my window Because I think it is surely a sign That if I keep up with my self sabotaging It’s actually productive, and it means that everything will be fine

(brian david gilbert is a serious artist i will be taking no criticism)

like i've been saying, crutchie is (for the most part) okay with being overlooked - it's just that no one's letting him be overlooked. every day he has to be told by the delanceys and snyder and the whole world that he's 'lesser' - and he knows he isn't, but fuck if it doesn't get exhausting being told you are. and like i said earlier, that's why he doesn't want to get too into jack's santa fe fantasy, because he knows that he's not going to be treated any differently anywhere else. but at the same time, that's kind of what holds him back from a lot of his own happiness. crutchie's obviously not featured in 'king of new york' so as far as we know, crutchie doesn't really have his own 'big want' (i'm not including santa fe, because that was jack's dream that crutchie clung on to as a coping mechanism while in the refuge, and so i don't view it as his own personal goal). was this crutchie being overlooked by the writers, or was it something more? it's the first option, but i'm still going to go autism mode about it. crutchie doesn't seem to have his own goals because, as we see with jack in the santa fe prologue, he keeps shutting those goals down. it feels like (especially w/ matt duckett's crutchie) he doesn't WANT to aim higher to spare himself the disappointment if he misses. so he fights that hope off, putting all his energy into 'realism' that very quickly turns into jaded nihilism instead of creating something more for himself.

again, this is mostly just spit-balling. if you think it sucks, that's totally fine and i will happily read better posts about crutchie and the imagery he inspires - but as it stands, i have landed on urban birds, and i hope that is enough :)

#newsies #crutchie #ask #saveugoodmadam

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broomsick · 3 months

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hey, broom! i come to ask for your advice/your suggestions: i'll soon start to work in a new team. it's the same workplace but a totally different branch where i'll still have to find my place both socially and professionally (i'm kind of a newbie, only graduated last year).

i'm really nervous about what lies ahead and it makes my anxiety act up again. do you have any suggestion to which norse god i could turn to for help/reassurance?

it's a position which requires confidence in your knowledge (tax law, mostly), keeping up with new developments in law-speaking and dealing with (sometimes difficult) subordinates and citizens. i have very little experience with leading people, so the latter is what concerns me the most...

i'm definitely striving for a good and harmonic workplace environment but also don't want to be stepped on by the more nasty-tempered coworkers.

i thought that maybe Odin would be a good pick to turn to but maybe you have someone else in mind as well!

thank you and have a wonderful day! 🤗

Hi there, have a good day as well! Thank you so much for the ask. I love questions like these because they leave so much space for discussion. If you asked ten other norse pagans, you would get ten different replies!

First of all, however, I want to congratulate you! Good luck in your new team, I'm sure it will be a great opportunity for you to meet new people, learn, and fulfill yourself.

Now, turning to Óðinn is indeed a great option! I find him to be wonderfully versatile as a deity (he IS a shapeshifter in the myths after all!) that I tend to call for his help in a number of vastly different circumstances. In your situation, for example, he might help you to put the different skills you've acquired to good use. You may call upon him if you feel unsure of what step to take, or if you have trouble focusing. All in all, he's a great help when it comes to all things mental health and stress. Praying to him, you could ask for him to bless you with his celebrated skills as a leader! He is also a deity who encourages us to understand each other, to put ourselves in other people's shoes and to try to see from their perspective. In the workplace, this can greatly help with seeking middle ground!

Still, if I were in your situation, I believe I would call upon Týr! I've read and re-read your situation well, and it appears to me that you might need the most reassurance when it comes to dealing with people you might meet in the workplace, some of whom you might be required to lead, and others you might disagree with. To me and to so many other heathens, Týr embodies the spirit of compromise, patience and settlement. I envision him as a deity who is extremely wise, especially when it comes to interacting with others. He is cool-headed but warm-hearted, the very embodiment of a good leader, willing to talk things out when there are conflicts. If my own experiences may be brought to bear, he seeks to help us navigate conflicts in a manner that allows us to stay true to ourselves, all the while nurturing good relationships with others. I believe he might help you not only to develop your skill as a leader, but also to understand your boundaries and to share your opinions confidently, while seeking compromise in a peaceful manner. One of my closest friends is a devoted Týr worshipper, and I know he has helped her so much with her confidence.

As always, however, there are so many kind and great Gods for us norse pagans to call upon! For example, if I were in your situation, I would most probably ask Baldr to soothe and reassure me! In so many ways, he is a God who seeks to help! And in my life, he has always been a caring, grounding presence who always seems to know how to calm my heart. I envision his presence as a light before me, like the flickering of a lantern, guiding me in the dark to find my path.

It would also be possible for you to pray to Freyja for confidence, and/or Thórr for courage. And now that I've mentioned Freyja, I also feel compelled to bring up Lord Frey! He is strongly associated with the concept of peace, which could be very useful to you, who wants to nurture a harmonious work environment. What's more, he's generally associated with prosperity and financial matters as well, which makes him a popular deity to pray to when it comes to matters of work and career. It's quite common for worshippers to work with both Freyja and Freyr, as a duo. In your situation, one could bring you the strength and confidence to defend yourself against any "nasty-tempered coworkers," while the other helps you to preserve a peaceful mindset, and to stay happy in your workplace.

There really is no need for us to only worship one deity at a time, and it is not disrespectful to pray to multiple deities for help in a certain situation. On the contrary, doing so is really is quite logical! After all, as they are found in myth to be part of a pantheon, it's completely normal that we would worship them as such, although some prefer to devote themselves to one deity at a time. As for me, I sometimes pray to the Gods in general, as a group! It's always interesting to wonder which of them will answer!

I wish you the best of luck in this new team, please don’t hesitate to reach out if you want any more of my advice!

#ask #asks #heathenry #norse paganism #polytheism #spirituality #paganism #norse gods #deity work #pagan #deities #norse pagan #heathen

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yellowbluemoonshine · 1 year

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An Ideal Ending For Bnha

I would like to talk about what can/SHOULD happen at the end of Bnha as good and realistic happy ending. By ending, i mean what should happen to villains and society at the end.

Since Bnha is a positive story about change, we know things has to change. Killing villains or locking them up forever (Tartarus) is not solution. Society should focus on rehabiltion of these villains. So how to do that? Lets get into it.

In-Prison Rehabilitation Programs

Rehabilitation does not have to begin once an offender is released from prison. Most prisons now offer at least some programs that are designed to help inmates more easily adjust to conditions outside of prison once they are released. These programs are often aimed at helping offenders acquire job skills, overcome substance abuse problems, or learn how to deal with common challenges they may face upon release. Some in-prison programs include:

Adult education courses

Religious services

Mental and physical health programs

Language courses

Job skills workshops

Source

Before i get into this rehabilitation part, i would focus on league of villains (especially main villain trio) to explain this.

I think league of villains at the end should live in some kind of mental institute. The reason is well they clearly need mental and psychical help with their quirk. Society is own to them since they are victims of society, thats why society has to help them but at the same time, they did many violent things so leaving them free doesnt make sense. But locking them doesnt work either so i would say best option is social works. Forcing villains or the ones who want to rehabilitate should clean the messy they made.

This is good solution because

1- This means less work for heroes and other people

2- Consequences

3- Help them to learning good things, especially with their quirk, it would be very helpfull.

But of course, society wouldnt trust villains to do job by leaving them alone. And lets remember; it is heroes job to deal with villains, right? Then how about hero job gets categories? Heroes who catches villains (maybe Bakugou or others), heroes who support other heroes, heroes who make support items, heroes who protects civillians, heroes who help people with weird/dangerous quirks, heroes who help rehabilitation of villains. Hero job doesnt necessarely needs to be gone, it can still exist but this time, it will be really for everyone’s sake.

So every villain who gets rehabilitation should get at least one hero partner. For example;

For Spinner, it can be Shoji. (Not sure about Mr Compress).

For Toga, it can be Uraraka and others.

For Shigaraki, it can be Deku and maybe if he lives, Allmight can help them too.

For Dabi, it can be Shouto, this would be amazing opportunity since they get to know each others as brothers. Isnt that good, Dabi? Shouto will give the all attention you ever desired. Shouto and Touya would be amazing together because Touya is kind of person who express himself with actions more than words and Shouto is the kind of person who pay attention to someone’s actions more than their words. I can imagine them being the silliest brothers ever.

Tenko and Touya always wanted to be hero, not only they can be hero/help people but also they can take responsbility for their actions at the same time. Isnt that good, Tenko, Touya? You can be hero too.

If a villain wants to go out freely (maybe once or twice a week) and if that villain is dangerous, then their hero partner should join them. I am not saying that they should live like this forever but at least, for a period of time, they should.

+ Also Hawks should get this rehabiltation with Tokoyami as partner too since honestly, he really needs therapy and needs to face consequences too.

Also, i think society really needs to hear those villain stories, that the people they called villains are humans and their suffering. Society should make support items for every person for their quirk, like, actualy quirk doctors who will help people, not respressing them or shutting them down. They really need, especially next generation, they need well prepared education.

At schools, these new historical events between heroes and villains should taught to kids and reminding them that the meaning of heroes so that they will never forget. Of course, not everything will be solved by this but at least, we should see the effort and some positive change in society.

Also, another reason why i want league of villains to live in some kind of mental institute/house type of place is because i think they shouldnt be separated. They are family and friends, they can heal together.

Especially, about Dabi’s ending with Todoroki family. I think family needs time to heal and a little space. Both side accepting each others wont be easy. Touya needs therapy and letting him go to his family as nothing happenned doesnt make sense, especially considering that he is the only one whose family is alive and accept him.

Also, league is Dabi’s family too. They should be together. Todoroki family can visit him sometimes, maybe he can go to live with them once a while with Shouto by his side.

- If Endeavour lives at the end, he should definitely loose his hero job and get out of his family’s life at least. (Though, i think this wouldnt be enough to punish him since he hurted so many people, not just his family.). And also heroes shouldnt get away with doing wrong things, just because they are ‘heroes’.

And i dont think Dabi ever will forgive Endeavour, him accepting Endeavour would be unrealistic and terrible message since some victims have a right to not forgive and have space from their abusers forever. Best development that can ever happen between Dabi and Endeavour is Dabi’s giving up on killing him and respecting other family members choices to forgiving him or not. For example, Fuyumi or maybe Shouto or others can forgive him and if they want, they can still meet him but Endeavour should stay away from Dabi forever. Btw since Todoroki family can really help Dabi a lot, Fuyumi can teach him many things, Natsuo can help with medical issues, Shouto with hero issues, Rei can help him since she also lived in mental institue too before. So many options.

- Izuku’s bullying and his feelings for the bullying gets explored and Izuku takes his time for it too, especially some space from Bakugou.

- If Kurogiri lives, Aizawa and Yamada can help him and also by helping some noumus who can still be human.

- If league lives (they should,), they live together and heal together.

- Happy ending for Todoroki family.

- Tenko finally achieve his dreams to be hero.

- Hero kids being actual heroes. I really want them to think about how to improve society and them constantly trying to reach out villains, failing over and overi sometimes giving up but eventually reaching that point, that would be amazing.

- Aoyama and Deku’s quirkless history hsould get explored more.

- Quirkless people can help others too.

- By helping villains and spending them with them, they can also learn many new perspectives that they never considered.

- Izuocha/Shigatoga canon.

- Prisons like Tartarus should end forever.

- Afo-Ofa should end for good. I mean, Afo lived enough and Ofa souls too. Time to rest in peace.

- I think at some point in story, everyone/hero kids and even with league of members, they can fight against Afo to save Shigaraki, that should happen, that would be really epic.

If you actually think about it, it makes sense, especially since we already get chapters that called ‘This is the story of how we all become heroes’. Its also interesting that even in villain chapter we get this, it says ‘minus 1′, i think it also shows that they will also get that point too. I also kinda think this is the kind of ending author want to make, even if he cant, this is what he write.

There might be things i forgot to say but for now, thats it. This is the best possible ending i can think right now. Anyway, author might mess up the ending and all so if it ends up messed up, then you can consider this as real canon ending because thats what they deserve.

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vacantgodling · 3 months

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🎀🍬 for Hya bc those are too funny lol

DHDJDJRJRJRJJ his worst nightmare in 2 questions

🎀 Opening birthday presents in front of others, being sang to when given their cake, etc.

of the two, hya is more comfortable dealing with being in a celebratory crowd. it’s one of the many “wifely duties” in paramour — ie: managing the social scene and he’s been taught well by tagetes. i’m actually Not Sure what birthday traditions galeré has and that’s something interesting to think about but focusing on how we do birthdays TM his patience is so thin. like he’s not a huge fan of sweets but being sung to already makes him 😒—let alone when people start to tell him to blow out the candles JSSJSJ the only way he would is if aloe asked him to 💀 he also hates opening presents in front of others because He Will Judge you. if he thinks it’s a bad present he’d be all “and who the fuck bought this” and throw it out in front of you probably BDJDRJJ best bet is to just give him money fr he’s so picky and very few can get him to Not Complain about a present. (and before you think amon, it’s not. the only person who can consistently get hya presents he likes is tagetes which pisses him off SO MUCH LMAOOOOO)

so long story short: he hates it 💀

🍬 Being put in charge of a couple rowdy kids

i’m actually gonna hijack this question to talk about the kids hya canonically has in his life aka, lavendula’s children. viola (10), barbatus (9) and rumex (6). viola (similarly to her mother lowkey) is very taken by hya’s air and mannerisms and has heard so much about him from aloe that she can’t help but want to be around him and be like him which. baffles hya greatly. whenever they’re in the same room she’s always trying to talk his ear off and it is SUUUUCH an exercise in patience for him. she does kind of win him over (aided by hya moving away and marrying amon pff) because she loves books and as mentioned, hya also likes books. so when he realizes that she can have an intelligent conversation about books and themes in literature he warms up to her more (well, as much as he can being himself).

barbatus however is a different story and is more of the rambunctious type that the questions talking about 💀💀 he’s proud and hard headed and defiant but is still yknow. a child. so he gets in over his head and whines and cries when shit happens and hya is exhausted with him immediately. especially bc barbatus is more of the roughhousing type and hya is having Literally None Of That. he tends to talk back and that pisses hya off so he usually dumps barbatus onto someone else’s hands (later in life onto amon mostly) bc he can’t deal with that shit LMAO.

rumex he doesn’t quite know what to do with and similarly rumex doesn’t know what to do with him. bc rumex has always been sickly their social skills are under developed and they have a lot of separation anxiety from lavendula. they also got the worst of their father’s abuse, so they see hya as kind of similar (authoritative figure) and keep their distance. hya doesn’t care either way but it’s something that distresses lavendula;;;

and under a cut i’ll put some actual prose regarding hya and the kids PFF. idk if or where this would fit in anywhere but it’s a good explore to who he is:

“It was very kind of you to invite us to your residence, Hyacinthus.” Lavendula folded her fan with delicate fingers and curtsied.

“Tagetes insisted.” Hyacinthus eyed the younglings gathered close to their mother’s skirts, and gave his half-sister a stare that would resemble one you’d give a particularly irritating mule. “Though, I don’t recall you mentioning you’d be bringing the—”

“Your niece was desperate to see you, and I needed to get the boys out of the house. For fresh air.” Lavendula replied breezily, and Hyacinthus regarded the young girl grasping her hand with a blank stare. She looked up at him shyly, wiggling her fingers in what could be discerned as a passable wave, then tucked her face back against her mother’s purple gown. The taller, older of the boys, that stood astride his mother with his chest poked out, piped up: “Do you have a garden Uncle Hya?”

“Barbatus, manners.” Lavendula scolded gently. The boy looked back at his mother, confused. “What? He is Uncle Hya right? Why can’t I call him that?”

“Don’t be bull headed.” Lavendula looked back to Hyacinthus, seeming to beg him with her eyes. “Do you happen to have a garden that the boys can play in.” She paused. “... Preferably one with a gate.” Hyacinthus snapped his fingers and a maid standing idly by the door snapped to attention. With his wave, she quickly scurried over.

“Yes, my lord?”

“See the children out to the inner courtyard. Make sure they don’t kill themselves.”

“Hyacinthus…”

“Isn’t that what children do when left to their own devices?” Hyacinthus gave a listless shrug, and the maid, happy to be dismissed from his presence, quickly took both his niece and his nephew’s hands, then with Barbatus trailing along, headed out towards the courtyard.

#s: paramour #ren writing

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