#I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THOSE SOMEHOW????? SHAME ON ME | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cherry-leclerc · 2 months

Text

method acting ☆ cl16

genre: series - humor, strangers to friends/roommates, fluff, smut, denial of feelings

word count: 4.6k

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...f!receiving, fingering, dry humping

cherry here!... seeing as we're basically at the end, i will go ahead and say that this series has been based off of Roman Holiday! c'mon now guyssss - enjoy the spiciness ;)

ch. one ch. two ch. three ch. four ch. five ch. six

Chapter 4

Life, as you fear, is falling apart as you're confronted with a serious case of writer's block that puts your career on the line. As a solution, you're roommate helps you plan a solo trip to the Amalfi Coast for a much needed break but it doesn't take long for you to meet a certain Monegasque who lays passed out on the beach.

If there was a reasonable explanation of a frog finding a home deep inside your throat, then you would somehow understand because at this moment, it sure felt like it. Charles doesn’t do much apart from blinking at an extremely slow pace. You knew that day that you should have turned the other way, but like always, your curious mannerism won. Here were the consequences and now you had to deal with them. Your lips part, ready to aim meaningless excuses but instead release a shaky breath, finding it hard to make eye contact with his soft orbs.

“How did you find out?”

A stupid question, you knew that, but there wasn’t much to say. It was motifying enough now that you knew, he knew. “You remember how I always beg you to wash your hand every time you finish eating those little chocolates you like?” His lips curl. “You must have forgotten to do so the night before.”

Heat rushes all throughout your body as you come to a halt. His accent emerges with no trace of anger, but rather embarrassment of his own. Shame. Noticing you’ve stopped, he turns back to face you, only a few steps marking a distance between you two. “I don’t know what else to say other than sorry.” A sudden urgency zaps through your veins as you walk closer to him, broken cobblestones rubbing against your shoes. “That was something private and I crossed the line, Charles. Y-you don’t understand how sorry I am.”

A lazy shrug is all you receive from him as he sheepishly smiles though there’s a downcast to the act. “You don’t need to apologize. I should.” His words make you blink with confusion. No you don’t. Green eyes flicker onto the pavement before connecting back to your dreadful ones. “No, I do. I haven’t been honest.”

He visibly gulps, strong Adam’s Apple dancing its way up and down. “I’m sure you know by now. Considering you read it.” Sharp nose twitches, fingers drumming against his thigh. “But I want to hear it from you.”

Further heat rises as you furrow your brows. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth. From what you read in between those pages, who am I to you?”

Flashes of his messy handwriting scribble its way into your fuzzy brain. Entries where he would talk about the hydraulics, whatever that meant, to depressive episodes he tries perfecting to keep out of sight. It’s sweet, raw, funny, and you ruined it for him.

“You’re just Charles. A man who enjoys spending his time playing piano, even if he can’t curve his fingers in time to hit the right notes. The one who proceeds to chuck an apple at…” You nibble on your lips, mind digging into the deepest delves as you try to remember. “Joris’ head?”

Pink blush feathers onto his cheeks as he bites his tongue. “You read that?”

A soft giggle erupts. “It was pretty entertaining.” He chuckles, but there is evidence that he was pleased by your answer. You find yourself wanting to continue. “A brunette who likes to tease a city girl when it comes to the amount of sweets she eats.” A lot, he snickers as you bite the air. “Someone who cares enough to take me on walks when I need it to calm down. Even if I don’t know it myself.” A pause. “You’re not some snotty F1 driver who brags out to the rest of the world how rich and famous he is. You’re clumsy, hilarious at an unhealthy amount that makes me think I can form a six pack without ever stepping foot in the gym, and you’re the kindest man I’ve ever met.”

Charles’ heart does an unfamiliar dip as he takes in your breathless state, as if someone’s just saved you from drowning. His feelings lunge towards you as he feels your genuine honestly. You weren’t just telling him what you thought he needed to hear, no, you were spilling it all out as if it were the easiest thing you’ve done in your entire life.

He feels stupid for keeping this from you, thinking you would betray him in some sick and twisted way. That you would think differently - treat him differently - if you knew how many zero’s took place in his net worth. How could he have ever doubted you?

Suddenly your eyes shine a little brighter, as if that were possible. Your lips blossomed into the prettiest shade of pink as you sheepishly smiled back at him. Your aroma quickly becomes his favorite scent in the world and he wishes for nothing more than for you to look at him the exact same way he looked at you.

“I’m really glad we met.”

Your smile widens. “Lo stesso qui.”

The opportunity had presented itself, landed right in the palm of your hand. The universe gave you a chance…and you blew it. Your initial thought was that you, too, would come clean, but as soon as he started moving his lips and opening up to a level you never imagined you would ever reach, you pushed it further into the back of your mind. And now days have passed and it was just weird and awful that you never mentioned it in the first place.

Times like these, you wish you had your cheerful friend to tell you what to do. Dialing her number, you patiently wait for her to pick up. Hello? The taste of home makes your heart warm as you beam. “Amelia, it's me.” A loud pitched scream flies into your ear as you pull your phone away. “I’m aware I’m missable, but there’s not need for you to-”

“I’m engaged!”

Your jaw drops, clumsy fingers navigating to press on FaceTime. The blond answers straight away, stunning diamond already being shown off as you gasp. “You’re fucking shitting me? Amelia Thompson! You’re about to be locked down for life.”

Your friend happily shrugs before hopping up and down. “This is cra- insane. This is insane. Isn’t it insane?” It’s actually very sane if you ask me. You two are meant for one another. Two peas in a pod. Her smile widens as she scrunches her nose in a playful manner. “I mean I just thought this wouldn’t happen for another year or so, but then he took me to that little park we love to go on Sunday’s and then a bird attacked him and th-”

“Back up, a bird attacked Roman?”

“Oh yeah,” she firmly states, red lips pursed as if to refrain from releasing a loud laugh. “It was a whole thing…”

Sitting there and listening to Amelia rant all the while Roman smiles as if he’s never seen a better encounter in his entire life, it suddenly hits you. Pangs your heavy chest. You were happy for the couple, over the moon, but you couldn’t help but mourn the end of an era. It only seems as if a few years ago you two were tugging heavy suitcases into your empty apartment. It would only be so long before she eventually moves out, leaving you alone. And it's not just that, but now you realize how lonely you’ve been these past few years since all you’ve ever done is dedicate your heart and soul into proving to be something you desperately wanted to be.

“Helloooo?”

Snapping out of your self pity, you blink rapidly. “Sorry.” You release a content sigh, swooning as you nuzzle your head into the crook of your elbow as you press your face against the fancy marble. “I’m so happy for you both, really.” But? “But I’m jealous Roman gets to keep my roommate. I was here first.”

Amelia giggles. “You’ll forever be my favorite roomie. Plus, Roman kicks in his sleep so it's only a matter of time before I hit him with the divorce.”

It’s only after you two hang up that you realize you still hold everything inside your chest. Sighing, you make your way out to the terrace, hoping to find some peace and tranquility. Instead you find the Monegasque blaring rock music as he does yoga. 25/50 of what you were looking for.

“Does this actually help you relax?”

Like a cat jumping out of its skin, Charles yelps as he hears your voice. He clutches his chest. “Does that answer your question?” The corners of your lips turn upward. He squinted at you, head pointing towards the house. “Good news?”

“Very. Amelia and Roman are getting married.”

His lips stretch into a sincere smile as he stands up straight. “That’s great.” Nodding, you tug your own mat as you begin to stretch. His stomach flips at the simple act.

“She deserves it. They both do.”

Even as the music blares at an alarming rate that should have you worried for your hearing, you don’t move an inch and neither does he. With slight hesitance, the brunette licks his lips. “And how are you feeling?” You blink, suddenly losing balance as you plant your bare feet. Me? He nods. “You have feelings too, right?”

“I mean, do I really have the right to say anything else other than I’m glad my friends are finally tying the knot?” Floppy curls fling forward as he pretends to nudge your shoulder with it. You bite back a grin before you twirl into a soft frown. “I’m a bit sad.” A small click coming from him is enough for you to continue. “I guess I’m just not used to being alone. Amelia has been with me for as long as I can remember.”

“And she’ll always be there, you know? Only now, she’ll have a different last name and shiny ring.”

You roll your eyes. “What I mean is that it's starting to hit me. How far I’ve fallen behind in the dating category. All those times I’ve been asked out, I pushed them all away because I either had too much work or wanted to spend time with my friends. Now they’re getting married and I’m just kind of…here. I wish I knew what I was turning down.”

The Monegasque lets out a light whistle, fingers snapping as he stares off into the distance. “I would like to pretend that I don’t know what you mean, but I do. Racing is everything to me - it’s what makes me happy - but that won’t always be there. It's a scary thought to have, I know, but that's the way the world works. We need to grow up even after we’ve grown up. It’s a thing that continues for a lifetime and ends with death.”

Your eyes widen with alarm as you gasp at his gloomy perspective. What if you were still wasting time? For sure you still were, but what were you doing with your life? You’re just a broke girl who forms relationships with people you love to spend time with only to use their words for your benefit. A dark chuckle roars from your roommate as he quirks his head. Don’t get too freaked out. “Don’t scare me then.”

Charles shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ll meet someone soon. Someone who will love you as much as you love your piles of junk food.” You aim a sour scowl. He snickers, but continues. “And you’ll realize that all the worrying was for nothing.” The soft sound of waves crashing fills the silence. “But please invite me to the wedding.”

There’s a soft glow to you when you let out a bittersweet smile. “You promise you would go?”

“I thought I made that clear when I said I would go wherever you are.”

Your breath hitches, a gust of wind nearly knocking you down just as efficiently to his meaningful words. Forcing yourself to look away, you press your lips into a fine line, head bobbing in understandment. He shifts. “Teach me a few poses?” you ask, signaling to the mat.

Let me taste your silhouette. You can talk between my legs.

“Oh um,” he stutters, red painting his entire face, briskly reaching to turn the music down. You suppress a giggle as you stare back blankly, lips occasionally wobbling, threatening to let out a teasing smile. “I-I-I don’t usually hear music like this. I m-mean - I do - but…it helps me relax.”

Giving up, your lips stretch, eyes crinkling with amusement. “You get more interesting day by day, Charles Leclerc.”

It’s now Monday and you still haven’t met your word count. It should be easy, you have lots of useful information, but every single time your fingers glaze over the mocking letters, you only think about how terrible of a friend this all makes you. And it’s as if Eleanor knows your lack of work, lengthy emails entering your inbox with daily reminders about your due date. It doesn’t help either that the green eyed boy keeps reminding you about the last two weeks you two have together.

“I’ve just gotten so used to you,” he pronounces as he cuts up fresh peaches. “It’s going to feel wrong not seeing you often.”

Your fingers come to a halt. “Let’s just not think about it. How about a round of Truth or Dare?” You wiggle your brows. “Game?”

“Game.”

“Truth or Dare?” Dare, he eagerly spits out, anticipation evident. “Okay. What does the golden pin actually stand for?”

He scrunches a teasing brow. “You really thought this one through - used your brain. I’m impressed.” You hiss, pen barely missing his head. He cackles nonetheless at your childish behavior. “It’s sort of the same thing as I told you that day. He did say to go retrieve it when I got a Ferrari.”

Now it’s your turn to bunch your neat brows. “But you already own a Ferrari.” A slow smirk paints your lips. “Oh! You want to brag!”

“No,” he scolds. “Would you let me finish?” Relaxing against the pillows, you nod. “When I got a Ferrari championship. Only then could go get this mysterious horse. I think he thought I could do it.”

Your heart twists as you note his wretched smile. “Do you think you can?”

He sighs. “I’m actually not sure. Y’know when I first joined the team, I really thought I could. I mean, everyone around me was telling me how great I was, how my long contract must have meant I was extremely worthy. Now all I get are pity stares. High expectations that have me second guessing everything.” He turns to you. “But then the church was about to be demolished, so I had to go get it regardless.”

Licking your dry lips, you nibble before releasing. “I know you can do it. He might not be here to let you know anymore, but I am. And I know you can.” A beat. “Is that why you gave it to me?”

The brunette winces before tilting his head. “I don’t deserve it.”

In a single movement, you hurriedly crawl over to him as you slap him. Suddenly he’s on high alert as he grabs his cheek in pain. What the fuck? You smile sheepishly. “Don’t you dare say shit like that, Charles Leclerc. You have to believe in yourself the same way you did when you were a kid…I’m keeping the pin.”

His gaze darkens. “Oh, so you don’t believe I’m going to ever get a Championship either?”

“Don’t be stupid. I know you will, but I’ll take care of it for you. That way you have something to work for. I’ll be your temple,” you offer as he quirks a brow.

“My temple?”

You hum. “They’re knocking down the other, so I’ll take over. And I’m just letting you know right now that I’m not giving it up that easily. You have to work really fucking hard.”

Charles’ pulse speeds at your determination and belief, so much so, that a certain kind of pride that had left him long ago returned. He could do this, he could win. He would win. Even if it killed him. An unknown flicker strikes his green eyes as your stomach churns.

“You’re not like the others I’ve met…” He grabs your hand, making you flinch in surprise. “I’m going to do it. For you.”

It’s as if he stole your breath away as you struggle to regain your composure. “...And for him.” His grin never once melts away as he squints a shy eye, lashes fluttering. That was implied, too. You’re the first to pull away as you purse your lips. “Your turn. I pick Dare.”

The Monegasque coughs. “I dare you to tell me a secret.”

Your smile falters. “Don’t you think you have to work for it? I can’t just give it up like that.” Shaking your head and crossing your arms, you pout.

“Oh, come on! It could be any. Your pick.”

“How generous,” you murmur. “I dented your car.”

He gapes, eyes zigzagging as he forces a smile. “No, you said it was a little boy who kicked a soccer ball.”

You wince. “I was trying to back out of the driveway to go get us some donuts and I wasn’t looking and next thing I knew…” You’re rambling for sure. “It’s not that bad?”

Charles groans. “I told off the first little kid who passed by with a soccer ball, thank you for that.”

You shriek. “Liar! No! What did you say?”

A smirk slithers onto his face. “I’m totally kidding, I knew it was you.”

“But-”

“I heard when it happened - it’s what woke me up in the first place. I stood up to check and saw you driving away.”

“I’m sorry,” you chirp. “You shouldn’t have left the key out like that for me to grab! So if you really think about it, it’s kind of your fault.”

“Of course it is,” he pressed with amusement. “I forgive pretty easily, so I’ll let you off the hook.” Your palms sweat with uneasiness. “Your turn. I pick Truth.”

It’s as if you’ve suddenly become extremely dehydrated as you blink back blankly. “Got a crush on anyone back home?”

“Skip.”

This gets you curious as you arch your brow. The Monegasque goes to extreme lengths to avoid eye contact. “You have to answer, that’s not how the game works. I promise I won’t tease.”

Long fingers drum against his lap as he whips his head, shaggy hair brushing along his face. “Maybe so, but I’m using my free pass.”

You let out a heavy heave. “What are you talking about?”

“Remember I gave you a free pass when we first played Truth or Dare by the shore and I said I would only let you skip if I got one of those in return? Okay, well, I’m using it now.”

“Wha- that’s not fair! That was so long ago, it doesn’t even count.”

He chuckles. “Yes it does.”

With a sour expression, you huff and cross your arms. “Fine. I don’t want to play anymore.”

“You’re choice.”

The remainder of the day was spent with you locked away and Charles on a business call. Now that you knew what he was hiding, it was easier for him to get some work done. Either way, it worked out because before you knew it, you were nearly done. And he was clearly bothered.

“Looks like someone chewed your ear off.”

The Monegasque cringes at the brutal image as he sighs. “Do we have any more ice cream?”

“Nope. Finished it last night.” Analyzing his tense shoulders, you step closer to him as you tilt your head. “It won’t help you get over whatever’s on your mind, though. Want to talk about it?”

He extends his long legs underneath the table, head rolling back as he groans. You shiver, a pool forming in between your legs at the sight. Your body’s reaction feels filthy as you shake your thoughts away. “I was on the phone with my manager. They signed the contract. They actually did it.” He squeezes his eyes in disbelief.

“What contract?”

The brunette finally opened his green orbs, annoyance circling them. “Looks like I’m getting a new partner.”

This comes as a complete shock to you as you make your way to an open chair. “When? Who?”

“Starting 2025. Lewis Hamilton.” Kicking an empty chair away, he grunts. “Oh my God, and here I was thinking I had a chance…” He laughs hysterically. “A chance.”

Seeing him so distraught made your stomach hurt as you shook your head along with him. “I don’t see how this is a bad thing…change is good, no?”

A soft chuckles flies past him as he angles his head to catch your puppy lost state. “First of all, I really enjoyed having Carlos as a teammate. We worked well together. Second of all, compare me - a twenty six year old with five wins in his entire career - to a seven time World Champion.” His shoulders droop. “Who do you think is going to get all the attention and support from the team?”

Your lips part, then snap back shut. He smiles, already shrugging it all off. “It was doomed from the start, I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” Loopy eyes hug your sympathetic ones. “I just don’t want to let you down.”

Frowning hard, you tsk your tongue. “I have a feeling it’s impossible for you to do that. You’ve got this, have a little faith.” Slipping away from your seat, you stand next to his exhausted state, where his body continues to hang like a wet dog. “Will it be easy? No, probably not. But the best things take work. It makes it worth it all at the very end. You’ll see, Charles.”

“How is it that you have so much hope in me?” he whispered meekly, face slightly pale.

Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you raise your shoulders high. “Because I’m a firm believer that you will accomplish yours and your father’s dream. And I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been on that same boat before, I’m quite familiar.” I sort of still am, you conscious barks back.

For a moment, he lays still, green eyes taking you in, low breaths. Everything about this situation made you feel like a kettle, ready to cry out. There was something so intimate and raw with the way he was looking at you. As if you hung the stars up for him. You’ve never been one to stick around, so it came as no surprise to tear your gaze away, wobbly feet stepping back. “Just don’t-”

His hands are slightly slippery from his palms sweating. His chest is freakishly warm from his blood pumping. And his cock was most definitely hard.

Shifting on top of his lap, you giggle nervously as you try to avoid the lust in his eyes. And the heat in the pit of your stomach. “No, we said…” You furrow your brows. “This is wei-”

“No, you said that. I only played along.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head, hair practically whipping his face as he smiles gingerly. “You said the kiss was weird! I said the kiss was weird - we agreed.”

It’s his turn to narrow his eyes at you, large hands gripping your waist, keeping you from running away. “The situation was weird, but I’ve never felt a pair of lips feel so right against mine.” Long fingers trace your bare thigh. “I know you feel it too.”

“Your boner, yes, how could I not?” you hiss, face burning crimson red. “You’re going to ruin it-”

“No I won’t.”

“You’re going to regret it-”

His gaze darkens. “The only thing I’ve regretted so far is not telling you how I feel about you and not having kissed you the way I wanted to.” Green eyes soften up, almost pleading you. “Fuck. I need to - you don’t get it, I need to kiss you, amore. I swear to God if you say no, I might lose my mind.”

Your head begins to spin as you balance your hands on his broad shoulder. Behind your better judgment, you know you shouldn’t. This would only make things worse because you know the moment you lock lips with him and he finds out what you’ve done, how long you’ve lied, he’ll be so disgusted by you completely.

But like always, you push that all aside.

You basically pounce on him as you smash your lips to his. It was hot, it was heavy, you could feel his teeth clash with yours, his tongue sliding inside your warm mouth. He grunts deeply, pushing your hips down on him as you gasp. Arousal drips past your silky legs, already forming a wet patch against his denim jeans. Charles groans loudly at the feeling. Whimpering, you tangle a clumsy hand through his messy hair.

“You’re telling me this is ‘weird’ to you?” he teases against your pouty lips, pants entering your mouth as you whine like a kid at the dentist.

“You’re insufferable.”

“You won’t be saying that in a few minutes.”

Swiftly, he stands up, setting you down on his chair. You’re confused with his actions as you desperately try reaching out for him. He lets out a dark chuckle. Then, he’s kneeling down in front of you, bringing the chair closer to him. Oh God. The sound of the wooden chair squeaking is enough for you to snap out of it and blink rapidly, as if this were all a dream. He grins wickedly.

A beautiful fucking dream.

Shivering at the feeling of his calloused digits, you bring your brows together. He plays with the hem of your dress for a few seconds before sliding it up, cock growing harder at the sight of your red panties. “These dresses have been driving me crazy from the moment I met you.” He presses a sloppy kiss against your clothed center. “So pretty…”

“Charles…”

He cuts you off the moment he slides the thin material to the side, tip of his fingers rubbing your wet lips. Moaning, you instinctively drape your legs over his massive shoulders. With your entire strength, you try bringing his face closer to where you need him. He lets out a loud laugh.

“You really think you can push me down onto you?” He signals like a know-it-all. “Neck strength, baby, neck strength.”

“I don’t care if you’re a racing driver and that’s your entire exercise agenda, do something.”

That’s the only green flag he needs to dive in, sliding his tongue like an animal. Arching your back against the chair, one hand finds a home in his brown lock and the other grips around the armrest. Dizzy with his fast movements, you squeal when he sucks hard against your clit.

“You’re crazy,” you manage to pant before clenching around his digits that have now entered the equation. And he just curls them so deliciously inside on you that you begin to worry you might finish against his handsome face.

Pulling away, he looks up at you through dark lashes, a sly expression evident. “And you’re irresistible, perfect…” He growls when your hole tightens around his fingers, how your juices pour out. He can’t help but lick you clean, sighing against your thigh. “Simply perfect.”

It’s a haze and you barely have room to breathe, much less give him a fair warning, because suddenly your white nectar takes over and hits him all at once. You’re moaning loudly, he’s groaning as he slurps needily. It was just all too much.

And you didn’t deserve any of it.

Your chest rises up and down as you struggle to breath regularly again. It helps when he traces shapes around your legs, hot breaths of his own hugging your humid skin. His eyes take in your state as he looks up at you with complete defeat.

“How am I supposed to stay away from you, ange?”

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erospandemos · 10 months

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I just can't help it

Yandere Chaewon x Reader

Part 1

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

What you’re about to read is a confession to you. An apology, if you prefer to call it that, as I’ve professed my love to you plenty of times—although it won’t ever be enough—and you’re at the knowledge of every crime I’ve committed since we met.

My Korean teacher repeatedly reiterated the lack of clarity in my essays and oral exams. I’m not good with words, you see. That’s why I thought that letting you know about the events in my life that shaped me and the feelings that followed me throughout these months would make you understand me better.

I know our conversations weren’t as deep as you probably expected. I’ve tried to explain myself to the best of my abilities and even if it was a mess you seemed to make out that flurry of words and comfort me. Sometimes, I truly thought you understood me more than I did.

It’s true that we always talked in riddles and puzzles but it made more sense that way. Because our—my—love was pure madness and somehow the riddles explained it better than we ever could.

The lack of sleep shouldn’t have affected my mind too much, at least in the part that’s in charge of writing.

If you’re reading this, I hope you understand. Sorry if I’m rambling a lot, and sorry if I will ramble more in the following pages. Right, sorry if I’m apologizing a lot—you told me not to do that. I just can’t help it.

I was tortured since the age of 6 when I started going to elementary school, that’s as far as I can remember. You could also say I was “bullied”, it’s what the adults like to call it, but it’s the same thing. People get defensive, almost offended when I use the other term. “Wow,” was a common reaction, “that’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?” I didn’t think it was extreme.

When I so naively asked my teacher the difference between the two words, she chuckled and looked at me as if I asked her what the difference between hot and cold was. Surprise was another clear feeling I could read from her expression. She asked me how I knew those words. I simply said I heard them from outside and she told me to forget them.

That evening, when I came home, I took the chair from my mother’s desk and put it next to the bookshelf, I climbed it and looked at the books on the top shelf. They were the books she used the least and between them, sitting all dusty and forgotten, was also the dictionary.

I blew and rubbed the dust away then I looked for the two words. I read the two definitions closely and more than one time but I still didn’t understand. They were the same.

I didn’t ask my teacher anything else. My teacher was clearly against explaining them to me.

But I was sure, I knew those two words extremely well because I felt them on my skin.

I wanted to be an idol. I told everyone in my class because I thought it was a normal dream—we all watched idols on TV in the afternoon—and being an astronaut seemed a lot harder. Apparently, it wasn’t. Because I wanted to perform on a stage, I was “pretentious”, “narcissistic”, an “attention-seeker”, and a “whore”. I didn’t know what they meant and thought they were compliments and they etched those words into my skin.

I later found their definitions in the dictionary and understood what they were saying.

I wasn’t the only girl who wanted to be an idol. Hayoon, a classmate of mine, dreamt of testing for JYP, SM, YG, and all those big companies. She took dance and singing classes, they were both in group and private. She could afford it because her family was very rich. From what I heard in the classroom, she started training when she was just a little girl because her parents saw her dancing in front of the TV during an episode of Inkigayo.

Surprisingly, Hayoon was never shamed. Because she was “humble” and had “her feet on the ground”. She was loved by everyone and was the most favored prospect for the role of an idol, everyone seemed to believe in her dream. She was confident, danced well, and was beautiful. All the girls went to her house at least twice a month to go to her huge pool, splendid garden, and majestic house. I never went, I was never invited.

She was good at everything and topped all subjects. However, I sang better than her. In music classes and festivals, I was always chosen and often took the roles instead of her. When she realized she wasn’t the best, she became embarrassed and frustrated.

She didn’t have any way of making me sing worse and neither could sing better than me, even after all those expensive lessons, so she took to poking fun at me to try and drag me down. Of course her friends joined as well. They were always calling me "ugly", "weird", and "gross" in a way that didn’t seem childish or playful, but demeaning and insulting.

The other kids constantly berated me between classes, glued my books to the desk, slapped me and then ran away. They knew all the spots where there was no CCTV in the school. They even stole my brand-new headphones and glued my shoestrings to my shoes when I didn’t see them. We wore slippers and my shoes were in my locker.

My teachers never helped me. I’ve tried telling them and they didn’t believe me, or rather, they chose not to believe me because that was easier for them.

Only a girl had the courage to help me, it only took one word and two days to have everyone against her. “Stop,” she only said that and then everyone hated her. You never go against the group, you never try to make yourself different, you never try to fight back.

In the end, I understood the difference between torture and bullying: one was for hurting and one was for fun.

During middle school, the bullying stepped up a notch. Some of my classmates went to my same middle school, they had many friends there and the rumors spread like wildfire. Many of the students liked to take their stress out by bullying other students. They were pathetic and talentless, they hated anyone who had potential unless they provided them anything, like Hayoon.

Smoking was illegal. But they didn’t care. They found all the corners of the school where the CCTV didn’t see them and studied where the professors usually walked to avoid their path. It wasn’t always perfect and sometimes they were caught but it sure helped them and the bullies.

One day, I was dragged by my hair behind the basketball court and after getting pushed to the ground, the girls started slapping, laughing, and kicking me. The smoke from their cigarettes and the kicks to my belly and back took the air out of me. I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was going to die. They were experienced—they noticed my lack of breath, gave me breaks to catch it, and started kicking me again.

They were caught by a teacher who forgot his bag. They claimed they were only giving me “birthday punches” and didn’t admit anything, nor apologized. They weren’t stupid either. The girls had a very good reputation and a good student persona, essentially they didn’t have any criminal records.

When I was asked what happened, I was ready to tell them all the atrocities that took place in school. But then, I remembered the girls’ eyes. I looked at the professor and I knew, right there and then, that he didn’t believe me, even before I said anything. They wouldn’t have done anything but the word would have been out, that I snitched on the bullies and then I wouldn’t have survived.

So I stayed silent.

The girls only got punished for smoking after they explained they only wanted to try and continued to do it anyway.

Between the end of middle school and the start of high school, the bullies got more creative. They tied me up and broke my legs with a crowbar. The older the girls got, the more of them wanted to be idols, and the first thing they had to do was to get rid of the competition. They succeeded as I stopped dancing altogether since that day.

I continued singing but nobody wants to see an idol in a wheelchair, right?

After I couldn’t walk normally anymore, they started treating me like a rag. They used me to clean the bathroom, by pushing me around on the floor, putting my face against the toilet, and mopping me with dirty water. I was like a toy to them and their friends joined the fun.

Part 2

It was no wonder that many bullied students leave the school. Sometimes, they leave on their own, because they can’t stand the torture anymore, other times, the school removes them. The bullies only bully others because they can and they know they can get away with it: they have influential parents or come from wealthy families, so the school can only quietly get rid of the problem and those are the victims that can’t stay quiet.

The class in my department didn’t have many students but it was enough: 20 students. During the year, 5 students left, and at the end of the year, 2 others were sent to another school in the province. The remaining 13 weren’t enough to be left alone in the classroom so they joined us with a class from another department that also lost many students. In total, we were 31, which was a big number but they didn’t have any other choice.

You were one of those students. I only noticed you after a week because I got used to keeping my eyes low not to anger any of my classmates. You sat beside me. People usually tend to avoid me since they could also become victims of the bullies but you knew it and it was your decision.

“Is this seat taken?” you asked me. When I heard your voice, I had a moment of hesitation. I kept staring at the wooden desk but then I thought that you might have accused me of being rude for ignoring you and that would have been a good enough reason to pick on me, so I raised my eyes.

“No, it isn’t,” I replied. Your eyes were cold. I genuinely thought you were a bully too.

“Then, can I seat here?”

“You can if you want…” I told you, unsure. “But I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What? You fart a lot?”

I was taken aback. “No! I don’t.”

“I suppose it’s fine then,” you said and took the chair out to take your desk. You started getting ready for the lesson and didn’t seem to have any intention of doing anything to me. Every time someone spoke to me, it was to make a comment, make a joke, or give me an order. Still, I was suspicious of you.

The lesson proceeded as usual. You took your notes very diligently, writing almost everything the teacher said, making graphs and small summaries to keep your memory fresh. If you were to tell me you were the top student in your class, I would have believed it and later I’d find out you really were.

Your behavior wasn’t the one of a bully. And it wasn’t the behavior of a bullied either.

At the end of the last lesson before the lunch break, the teacher gave us surveys for our future career choices. I stared at the paper with a pen in my hand. What should I write? My future, my future was stolen from me. My dream was as meaningful as an ant’s life. After everything they did and said to me, a miserable life of insignificance and sadness sounded perfectly fit for me. I kept wondering and pondering until you turned to me.

“What do you want to do when you grow up, Chaewon?” you asked me while you were lazily spinning your pen between your fingers.

“I- I don’t know, what about you?” I stuttered. I couldn’t bring myself up to pronounce those words. I felt as if I had been banished from even muttering them and thinking about it only brought me horrible memories.

“Web security,” you said. “I go around and check companies’ safety in their servers and sites. I’ve already started an internship so I’m sure it’s what I’m going to do.”

“An internship? This early?”

“Yeah, I figured the more experience I get, the better. I got nothing better to do anyways.”

“Don’t you have any hobbies? Don’t you hang out with your… friends?”

“I don’t have that many friends, to be honest,” you replied nonchalantly. “I mean, I do go out like once every three months so it isn’t a lot but I still have friends I can talk to. I’ve never been good with people, I guess.”

“Ah, is that so?”

“I was always better on my own. I tried a lot of stuff and I liked web stuff better,” then you turned to me for a second time, looking at me more intensely than before, “but you didn’t answer my question yet. What do you wanna do?”

Being put on the spot like that, I wasn’t sure about what I was allowed to say. More than that, I didn’t know what I really wanted, if the dust of my once desire was still in me if my heart wasn’t dead cold. However, after all these years, a subtle string of fate kept me going and it was still something that I liked doing.

I looked at your eyes. They didn’t scare me.

“I want to be… an idol,” I said in a single breath. After I finished the sentence, a heavy feeling of guilt dawned on me. I felt as if I just committed a crime and I was in danger.

But you didn’t judge me.

“An idol, huh?” You laid back on your chair. “That’s pretty cool. I know it’s very hard if you really want to do it, props to you. It takes some guts to train for that stuff. To dance all day, to have everyone look at you, it’s something.”

“Do- do you think I can do it?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t know how well you dance, or how good you sing, or even what you tested for.”

“But is it a possible dream?”

“You can watch idols too, right? They had the same dream as you did. They did it. I think it’s possible, yeah. And I think you can do it, Chaewon.”

When you said that, I felt so relieved. It was comforting. Finally, I found someone that didn’t hate me, that didn’t shame and believed in me.

Just as you stopped talking, the bell rang. It was the time.

“Oh, look at her, ms. Idol,” said Yejun and pushed my head away for fun. He started laughing.

“Hands off, Yejun. And go away before I sock you in the face,” you said.

“I’m so scared, oh my god,” he laughed. “What do you think you’ll do huh? Do you want to protect this filthy rag? How generous,” he said and then slapped me.

“That’s enough, fuckface,” you got up and stared into his eyes. “That’s the last warning. Leave before I do something I might regret.”

He scoffed. “Really, you talk a lot. Don’t forget that you work for my father.”

“I don’t think you get it, Yejun. I don’t just work for your father. He depends on me. One click and his whole 20 servers will blow up. Do you really think that incompetent fool of your father fixed all the problems? He doesn’t know shit about his stuff, he only knows how to count money and scam his workers. There are so many weaknesses I could just hack the whole thing and change your company to my name.”

“You aren’t funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be. Now, that I’ve seen who this rag of yours is, tell your friends to keep their hands off her. I don’t want to see your father come back and beg at me and he’ll know it was all your fault. Everyone listens to you apparently, so spread the word. I won’t hesitate.”

Yejun stormed out of the class in anger.

I felt like I was reborn, that I finally found my savior. You were the angel I needed and you came to save me from this hell.

“I don’t like this place, let’s get out of here,” you said and I followed you.

We went to grab lunch but right behind the vending machines you got attacked. He called you a nerd, whatever he did, but I couldn’t stand it. I felt a force in me and I grabbed his neck, I squeezed until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for you trying to get me off, I would have killed him.

Just as that guy run off, you freaked out. I didn’t blame you. Still, you took my arm and pulled me to somewhere more covered to talk to me, scared that someone else might have seen it. I could see the surprise in your eyes, but you didn’t look terrified, you were concerned if anything.

Your hand was still bleeding, the red liquid dripped to the floor. I stared at the droplets, slowly coloring the grey concrete, as if it was the ticking of a clock. At each tick, I was getting more impatient, there was something inside me that wanted to jump out, run after who hurt you, and make him pay for it. But I had to calm down, you were in front of me.

“Chaewon, what the hell!” you whisper-shouted while repeatedly glancing behind your back and into the hallway. “Where did that come from?”

“I-I don’t know what happened,” I stuttered. I was saying the truth—at the time, I truly didn’t know why I reacted in the way I did. I never raised my hands, I never talked back, I never reacted.

“Shit, I’m bleeding a lot,” you cursed. You gritted your teeth and started walking towards the school clinic. I followed you.

You talked to me as we were walking. “You don’t just choke people randomly, you know?”

“I- I really swear! I pro-promise… I have no idea what happened!”

“Listen, Chaewon, I saw you pinning his neck against the wall. You raised a senior with one hand.”

When we were in front of the nurse's office, you pinched your nose and waved your hand to stop me from talking. The cuff of your white shirt was stained with red, it already spread so much in just a short time. You must have been in pain. My blood was boiling.

“You can explain yourself later,” you said and opened the door. “I have to close this wound first.”

I followed you into the room. For some reason, the room was empty, there was no trace of the nurse and it looked like she hasn’t been there for a long time as everything was very tidy and the coat hanger was empty. Often, when people can avoid work, they’ll do it. The nurse must have seen that there was no one needing her in the morning and decided to leave for some coffee.

You sat on one of the beds, keeping your arm stretched out so the blood wouldn’t stain the sheets and with another hand, you searched into the cabinet for something you could help yourself with. You took out bandaids, alcohol, gauze and cotton buds. You really made a mess, trying to pour the alcohol on your arm and spilling half of the content on the floor.

After sloppily cleaning yourself with cotton, you got the bandaids.

“Do you really think bandaids will do?” I asked you. “It’s way too deep.”

“Is there any other way?”

“Yeah, we have to put stitches on you.” I took the chairs from the desk and sat in front of you. In the cabinet beside the bed, there were also needles and thread for that procedure. Luckily there was an anesthetic as well.

I put on gloves. I cleaned your wound again, better than you did before, and applied the anesthetic gel. It took about two minutes to take effect, in the meanwhile I prepared the rest of the equipment I needed: forceps, curved needle, and new thread.

When I was sure you didn’t feel anything, I started stitching your wound.

“How did you learn this?” you asked me so curiously.

“I… I got used to taking care of myself,” I said softly. It was embarrassing. You nodded. I could feel your eyes scan me, looking at all my bruises, the bandaids on my face, and many more wounds underneath my shirt.

You sighed. “I’m sorry. I hope they won’t attack you anymore. Always stay with me, they are scared of people who have a known name.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think it will do anything.”

“Just do as I say,” you repeated. I could see how sure you were from your face. You definitely didn’t see, as my face was facing the floor, but I smiled for the first time after you said that. Your desire of protecting me was honest. I was really happy that you cared for me.

When I came home, I had the time to think through what happened that day. As I was drinking a cup of water, I looked at myself in the reflection of the window, my fingers tracing my wounds and bruises, itching the dried blood on my nails. Where did that strength come from? I could have sworn they had taken every ounce of energy from me, I knew I had no will, no ambition, no desire to even talk back until today. And yet, I hurt him.

I felt good. It didn’t feel good to hurt him per se but to know I defended you. As to him, I should have killed him. But you stopped me. You shouldn’t have done that. He hurt you. That shabby gross fool tried to hurt you, how could he?!

I was so lucky to have caught you before it was late. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened to you if he succeeded—the bruises on your face, the blood on your face—you would have looked just like me. No, I couldn’t stand that. You didn’t deserve to go through the pain that I did, not after you defended me. Oh, if only I could lay my hand on those sinners, the pain I could inflict them, all the experiences that I felt inside my skin, into my very flesh.

I want to hear them scream. To beg for forgiveness. To regret their very existence. I want them to apologize to you, to offer their life…

Crack

I looked down at my hands. What a mess. I completely shattered the cup I was holding—bits of sharp glass everywhere, even some into my skin. The veins of my hand were bulging, I could feel the blood in my body flowing so fast and forcefully. The adrenaline was high in my brain.

I didn’t realize what I did until I heard the sudden noise.

It was true, just as you said. It wasn’t me. But why? This must have happened because I was thinking of you getting hurt… yes, it was your thought, just you. It was because of you. I didn’t want to see you hurt, you were my only hope in this world, just the thought sent a shock through my spine and into my head, and I would go crazy.

You made me like this.

Completely insane.

“Chaewon! What happened?” I heard Yujin calling me and I turned around to see her rushing out the hallway. Yujin was my roommate, we shared the rent because it was cheaper that way. She wasn’t a bad person, not at all. But she couldn’t understand my life, she lived between rich girls and handsome guys.

To be kind, you need to know what misery is. She was just nice.

“Oh, Kirin-chan,” I said.

“How did you break your glass?” she asked worryingly, grabbing a towel to clean my bloody hand of the bits of glass.

“My bad, I was standing up and it just slipped out of my hand.”

“Then how did it get all over your palm?”

“I slipped and fell right onto it, you know how clumsy I am.”

“Yeah,” she commented without much belief, “just like all the time you come home with bruises on your face.”

“It isn’t my fault if they don’t put warnings after cleaning the stairs.”

“It isn’t your fault,” she repeated. “Anyways, don’t forget to clean it up, I’ll go back to studying,” she ended, turning around and leaving the lounge to return to her prettier room.

I continued to stare at my hand.

I couldn’t help but think about you again… my head got foggy… my thoughts haunting…

What if they scarred you?

What if they bullied you?

What if girls broke your heart?

What if you were friends with the wrong people?

I knew I was crossing a line when those questions took form but it was too late and I didn’t even care anymore. It was a promise I made myself, to protect who I loved, and I swore I wouldn’t fail again. I would protect you forever, no matter what.

I feared that you’d run away from me but instead, we got way closer than before. When I walked into school the day after the incident, I was genuinely scared I wouldn’t have seen you—that you had stayed at home, that you changed class or even school. What worried me the most was the fact that you could have been scared of me.

I waited for you anxiously. I kept scratching my nails, rubbing my arms, looking around for you. So many times I got up and walked around the paths outside the school where I thought you’d usually walk, even if I didn’t know well what were your habits, and not finding you, I’d sit back at the wall and wait again.

After several minutes, you arrived at school. At the sight of you, my dizziness and worries faded away. I immediately ran at you and hugged you so tight, you had to know how much I missed you.

You were surprised, of course, you were. “Huh? What has gotten into you Chaewon?” you laughed jokingly.

“I just thought you wouldn’t come to school anymore,” I told you.

“Why would I do that? Today is a school day.”

“It’s okay, that’s perfect. I’m just so glad I can see you again.”

Part 3

The door opened to the locker room and I and the other trainees entered sitting down. They changed their clothes from casual streetwear to old clothes and gym wear. I’ve been training for a bit now, I got to know all the trainees well, there were a lot before but now they only remained half. The one that finished first started stretching. "It's one minute and a half. Let's do this," she sighed.

One of them threw to the other a white sheet with a name written on it and did the same with the others. "Here. Your name tags."

"That's it? Just a minute?" the girl chuckled.

"A minute and a half. Everyone does their part and it's a difficult choreography, don't you forget. It will be enough."

"It's for evaluation. Don't forget every detail counts," another girl added.

We went out of the room and made our way toward the practice room, each one with a name tag on it. The corridor leading to it was cold, probably because they just changed from thick to thin clothes, but it got hotter towards the end where the air got denser. One at a time, they entered bowing at the line of men sitting on the right of the mirror in front of the door.

Everyone had papers and a pen and a serious look plastered on their faces. After a couple of stretches, the girls got into position and the music started. They smiled and danced with their full capability and the judges looked sharp. When the music stopped they held their ending pose and went in a line waiting for their words. The air suddenly felt cold.

"There had been improvements on what we said the first time. But we can also fix others," the first said and the men nodded. They wrote on the paper and scribbled.

"You. When the others did their move you were coordinated and that's fine but you did it wrong. You need to raise your hand higher," he said making the move himself and the girl followed.

"Can you do the move a bit before the ending?" another one asked, gesturing his intention. "Yes, that one. Please get into the position and do it."

They did and when it came to the next section he spoke again, "One more time."

"Once more."

"Five...six.. seven... eight... an-"

"Okay," he said and got up walking to the center of the room. He demonstrated the move more and more times. "Don't tense your muscles too much when you do this alright?"

"But," the oldest got up, "you were all a lot better today, good job. Specially Soojin and Gaeul."

"That's it, goodbye," they said.

"Thank you!" the girls answered together.

BLAM. The oldest almost slips as he got out and the others held him up. The girls let out a muffled laugh, their mouths covered with their hands."See girls, don't tense your muscles too much or they won't work properly," the man chuckled. The judges left fast, embarrassed by their eldest and the group laughed in relief.

"Are we really doing this? They are not saying anything anymore."

The youngest looked at them from the ground, laid down breathing hard, and said, "We're close to debuting."

When everyone was done with their stuff and cleaned themselves they left. Almost all of them ran out to catch the last bus of the day or were just in a hurry. I, on the other hand, had to walk home so I did everything slower. When I got out, in the distance, I heard a group of girls around my age shouting and laughing. When they got closer, I realized they were my classmates, there were about four of them and they were drunk.

They noticed me.

"Look at you. It's late, pretty girls like you shouldn't stay out," one of them said and I frowned.

"Don't tell me. You were practicing?" she said laughing. The other three got in a semi-circle in front of me.

"It's a really difficult life isn't it, miss idol? Everybody wants you and you're here dancing until late," she mocked me, with her fingers under her eyes faking tears, and let out a hearty laugh. The choir followed with a carol of joy.

"It's sad really," she continued, "so popular but so tired."

She pushed me down on the ground and the group stepped back making more space for the two. She forcefully pulled my hair, forcing me to get up. The girl got closer and said, "And you're so pretty. It would be a shame if anything happened to this pretty face."

She slapped me. They laughed. They kicked me. I tried to defend myself, curling into a fetus position and protecting my head. They snickered as they continued wasting the effects of the alcohol on me. When they were finally satisfied, they got up and left me there on the side of the road and went away to the opposite way of where they came from.

I remained on the ground with tears on her face and sobbed trying not to make any noise, I wanted silence. However I heard their voices again, from the distance, and they were screaming.

"What do you think you're doing?!" the same girl as before squealed."We're girls, you think you can-." The group gasped.

"You're five and I'm one and you just beat that girl up. You think I care?" It was a male voice.

The girls ran away but the guy didn't try to chase them and walked to me.

"There's a convenience store nearby, we can get something cold for your face," he said with a soft tone. I recognized the voice and looked at him, I recognized his face too. It was you. My legs trembled a little as I held myself upon your shoulder for support. "It's fine, take your time," you said dusting my back.

At the shop, you bought a bag of frozen peas so I could put it on my face where it still hurts. "I ate those for dinner, they're great. I can use them for everything, look, you're using them too now," you said and I laughed. I calmed down a little and your face got more serious and worried.

"I told you. Starting from tomorrow I'll bring you home," you said.

"But it was only this time," I said.

"And the other four before."

"Kind of."

"Being there by 11:30 should be good."

"But you should sleep."

"I would just be studying, and either way, it's way better to have your company," you insisted, leaning down on the chair. A small smile formed on my face. Ever since that day, the two always walked home late at night even when it was freezing or when it was raining. We got way closer.

You grew up so well. Unfortunately, many girls seemed to notice you and fall for you. I don’t blame them, you were very charming, so attractive for such a young student but I couldn’t let them near you. They were fools, too stupid to realize they were nowhere close to your level, you were levels above and they were just insects. I had to make sure no one bothered you, to avoid you crying because some worthless bitch broke your heart.

I was surprised when you told me you got asked out. But then I felt my chest burn.

There’s only one thing that I can’t stand in this world and that’s people who think they can take what’s mine. I don’t care about gossip, jealousy or envy, I don’t have anyone to compete with, I just want what’s mine. And you are mine.

It was so easy to scare them away. All it took was a quick talk behind the school, a very convincing speech, a cutter to their throats…

They were scared of me. Good. You didn’t suspect anything—they’d still smile at me as if nothing happened, I made sure to tell them. I couldn’t let you know, to worry more than you already were.

The bullying had completely stopped towards me because you were always by my side defending me and eventually they all got the message. If you were just a crush before, now I love you. If I loved you, now I worship you. You’re my religion, my god, my purpose. I’ll kill for you, live for you, and I’ll love you forever. Wherever you go, I’ll follow you. Whether that’s heaven, hell, or any other world. My very existence is embroidered into your name, I can’t exist without you.

Things were going great, so great. You only had eyes for me. Those two beautiful pupils could only look at me, at my face, at my body, only at me. I loved when you stared at me, I was yours after all, you could watch how much you wanted.

That was until those two eyes became one. You got a big bruise on your left eye, it was swollen, black, and horrible.

You were waiting for me near the big tree behind the school like you always did, and you talked to me like you always did, without worry or pain. “Hey, Chaewon,” you greeted me.

“What happened?!”

“Nothing, I just hurt myself,” you lied. How naive you were, you were too kind, too nice. I didn’t believe you one single bit. I wonder why you did that? Why did you lie to me? Was it to protect whoever did that to you? To protect who hurt you?

“Tell me. Tell me, who hurt you?” I asked you calmly.

“It’s really nothing Chae… I’m serious, I only hurt myself—”

“TELL ME WHO THE HELL HURT YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!” I asked again, the sudden increase in volume startled you and you backed away into the tree. I didn’t know at the time, and you’d tell me later, but my eyes were empty. You got scared, I apologize, I just couldn’t help it.

“Ch-Chaewon?” you stuttered.

When I realized you were terrified, I calmed down. “Huh? Oh, my bad, sorry… I was just really worried, but now, please tell me.” I shook my head and took a couple of steps back.

“Okay, I will tell you… it was Seojun,” you finally confessed. “I bumped into him and spilled his drink on his uniform. I apologized, but since I was alone and his ‘friends’ were with him, they thought they could get their revenge on me.”

“I see… let’s get you some ice for that eye for now,” I told you and we started to walk into the infirmary for the second time. I hated walking into that place, especially with you. I tried my best to hold it inside me, not to scare you again, but I was going to snap anytime soon.

“Chae, are you alright?” you asked me.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, dear… and it will okay from now on. You don’t have to worry about Seojun anymore.”

You know, people say that the first time is special, you never forget it. The first time I bathed my hands in the warm liquid that is human blood, my body was cold. I felt hesitation at first, but I knew I was doing it for you, and thinking about you, all that fear was gone. And I killed him.

Yes, it was me that killed Seojun. I don’t regret one bit what I’ve done to him. I made sure he suffered as much as he made you suffer. An eye for an eye, as they say.

That day was special, it was like I confessed to you and instead of a ring, I gave you a life. It was only fair you’d give me your life in return.

The murder of Seojun made headlines in the news and when asked about it, the students never said anything nor praised or acted sad at his death. No one missed him. It’s quite sad that life can be so insignificant that not a single person will care about how gruesome your death was and forget you the next day. To be quite honest, he deserved it. We die in the same way we live.

You were a bit suspicious of me at first. You didn’t really doubt me—you were curious. The news of his death was delivered by our professor during the first period with a sigh before continuing the lesson. The reactions were mixed but mostly towards one extreme: relief.

When a bad person dies, two things will happen: if you’re a good person or a victim, you will be happy; if you’re equally bad then you’ll be scared, because you know he already got what he deserved and nothing prevented you from having the same fate as nothing is stronger than luck.

You were both worried and glad. I’ve always noticed how you tend to care about other people, it’s something that I really love about you, you just have to direct toward the people who deserve it. “Hey, Chae, do you know anything about Seojun’s murder?” you asked me during the break. You were hesitant at first but I was sure you’ve thought about it long enough to decide to spill it.

You must have thought about what I said the other day: You don’t have to worry about Seojun anymore.

“Huh?” I raised my eyebrow at you. “Why would I have anything to do with his death?”

“W-well… you see… you said that I didn’t have to worry about him anymore and the next day… he dies.” Your shoulders were so tight almost as if you were trying to keep the words inside of you. Your gaze flitted around the room, never settling on one person or object for long.

“It must have been a coincidence,” I told you. “And karma.”

“Right,” you muttered. Then you relaxed your shoulders.

“By the way,” I changed the topic, “there is going to be the last test before the debut at Hybe.”

Your eyes changed completely, they brightened. Every time I talked about my dream, you always seemed too excited for me. You fully believed in my ambition and constantly encouraged me to keep trying. Whenever I practiced, I always thought of you.

I always think of you.

“That’s awesome, Chae. It’s your opportunity, you wanted to become an idol all this time.”

“I will start practicing right away then,” I said. “I want to be with you that day. Can you come with me?”

“What day will it be?”

“Next Saturday, 4:00 pm.”

“Next Saturday… 4:00 pm,” you repeated. “I’ll make sure to be there—I will be there, I will.”

“Thank you,” I smiled and hugged you. You were still a bit against the idea of hugging but slowly you were getting used to it. I trusted that you’ll eventually come to love it.

I had prepared about four songs for the test: two for my singing and two for my dancing, one of them was good for both. I decided to be very broad with my songs because if they asked for more, I’d be prepared. You never know. I didn’t want to go there and have them ask for a random song and fail horribly.

You were waiting for me in front of the building with a little bag of snacks. I mentioned all of them before to you and you remembered. Some of them were for when I’d finish the whole thing and some as a snack to calm my nerves.

Honestly, I felt like you were my boyfriend already. If anyone saw us together, they’d say the same thing. Every little thing you did was so full of attention, I knew you cared for me, and I loved you so much.

Anyways, the time came. I bid you goodbye and entered.

The test went terribly wrong.

You waited two hours for me, only for me to blow it all up. When I came out, I was so embarrassed, I didn’t want you to see me at all.

“So Chae, how was it?” you asked but I didn’t reply. It was hard to come up with any word at all. I couldn’t even look at you in the eyes.

“Chae?”

“Chaewon?”

You finally got enough at the third time and you grabbed my shoulder to shake and direct my gaze at you. “Chaewon, answer me please!” you said with an upset tone.

“Do you… do you think I’m a failure?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked back.

“Hey, am I a failure? Tell me. Were the guys right? I am not meant to be an idol after all, should I give up after all? Tell me, please!” I hiccuped and cried. I was truly heartbroken. It was the test per se but the fact that I disappointed you, that I wasted all your determination and belief you had in me.

“Chaewon, no…” you whispered and went for a hug. It was awkward, you didn’t know how to hug. You tried to put a hand on my shoulder and one on my hip, but it didn’t work. Then you tried to put both of them on my shoulder but you looked like you wanted to headbut me. On the third try, you succeeded and properly hugged me very tightly.

I buried my head into your chest, it was where I could really feel safe.

“Chaewon, what happened in there? How did it go?”

“I FAILED! I BLEW IT ALL UP! IT’S ALL GONE!” I yelled and gripped you harder.

“How is that possible? You’re perfect, I mean, you sing so beautifully and you’re beautiful,” you said. “You’ve been practicing… why? How?”

“I’m sorry it’s that I was so worried. I got distracted. I continued to ask myself if I’d fail and so on… I knew the lyrics but I got jittery and…”

“No, Chaewon! I told you to believe in yourself. You can do it. You can do it.”

“But—”

“You have talent, Chae,” you repeated, “and I’ve seen it since day one. You will not fail. You just have to try again.”

I was embarrassed to see if I could try again but you weren’t and you stormed inside the building, dragging me by arm to ask the staff if I could try again. You explained everything and even pleaded with them until they gave in.

This time, you were waiting for me outside the door. I knew I wouldn’t fail again.

Don’t think about anything else. Focus.

I sang the first song. Just like I practiced. Then I danced. It was perfect.

I passed. I was so happy and I just had to tell you. I ran outside but you weren’t there.

I searched everywhere until I understood you weren’t in the building and had to search for you outside. I found you in an alley, bloody and bruised.

I immediately called the ambulance and they rushed you to the hospital. Your condition was so bad they had to x-ray your whole body and do a small surgery.

When I found you, you could barely talk or even breathe. You were laying in a pool of blood, that came from the numerous cuts all over your body—they weren’t clean but all rough and jacked, meaning they came from brute force and not blades. Your clothes were also messed up and ripped. Together, I could count on 19 injuries at least. I couldn’t understand at all. Why would someone do that to you? And how did it happen?

Together with you was a bag with two drinks and a couple of sandwiches. I suppose you went outside to a convenience store to buy something, maybe for me, and then… you were attacked. This may have been premeditated, it’s impossible a group of people randomly hurt you that bad.

I couldn’t stop crying, you know?

To see you in those conditions, I could only think of the worse.

What if you’d never wake up again?

What if you’d be miserable for the rest of your life?

What if you died?

It was my fault. I’m sorry, it was totally my fault. It was because I took way too long in the test, chatting with the staff, seeing the other girls so happily, while you were being jumped… I could have protected you, we could have gone home together and this would have never happened.

The doctor called me. “Kim Chaewon?”

“Yes?” I raised my eyes. I saw him and wiped my tears before standing up and walking to him.

“Is he okay…?” I asked.

“He’s not in danger is what I can tell you. Some of his bones are broken and he has received a concussion, he may be asleep for a while, you see,” he said.

“Can I see him?”

“Yes, you can,” the doctor agreed, “this way…”

He guided me toward another floor of the hospital. You have been transferred from the emergency room to the patient’s rooms. You were in the section where more care was needed—the hallway was quieter, everyone walked slower, and everything was more gentle.

I entered your room slowly, holding myself up with a hand on the door frame and then I saw you. Your eyes were closed. Your whole body was covered in bandages and you were hooked to all sorts of machines with cables and cords everywhere. It was almost like seeing a puppet tied up in strings and they were keeping you alive.

I was scared to come close to you. I feared that any of my movements could have damaged you even more. You were so fragile at that moment.

I gently lowered myself to the chair next to your bed and held your hand. I cried. I cried again, so much. I couldn’t help but keep thinking it was my fault. If only I was quicker…

Some of your items were put in the drawer. I noticed your phone together with your wallet and backpack. The screen was cracked and some of the blood crusted into the cracks. I don’t know why I felt curious but I unlocked the screen—you trusted me enough to let me know your password months ago to check some messages while you were busy cooking—and it opened KakaoTalk. You were texting me and the phone memorized it.

Chae be careful the bullies might be after you

Don’t go in the shortcut at the

Oh, dear. You were on the brink of death and all you could think was to warn me, to protect me. You didn’t even think of calling for help. I understood everything. It was those bullies again… they didn’t forget, did they? It’s because their life turned to hell after they didn’t have anyone to bully anymore and they got revenge but attacking you.

I was angry. I was furious. I was so pissed that I unconsciously cracked your phone even more. It was that feeling again, all over—the fire in my chest.

I will kill them. Each one of the. I will make them suffer. I will tear them to shreds. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them. I will kill them.

I will make them pay for everything they have done for you.

They were so stupid. It was so easy to trick them: I attacked their leader when he was coming home late and forced him to send a message to everyone who was involved in your attack—he confessed right away when I showed him my knife.

The guys came on point the next day. It was all so easy. They always hung out at the abandoned warehouse where they could make all the mess they wanted and dragged their victims to torture them properly and in private. Now they were dragging themselves to their death.

I dressed in black that day. You never liked seeing me in black. People used to tell me I tried to stand out too much so they forced me to use torn, old, ugly clothes, but when they stopped tormenting me, you brought me to buy more clothes for me.

But that day I wasn’t dressing as the victim. I was in the guise of the Grim Reaper.

I prepared my knives, axes, clamps, nails, and staplers and waited for them in the building.

Humans are so easy to kill. They are so frail and mortal—I had to be extremely careful not to let them die immediately to cause them all the pain they deserved. I’ll spare you the details. You don’t have to know of the gruesome parts of their murder. I’ll just tell you everything they did to you and in their years of bullying, I did to them. From crowbars to knives, to fire and stabbing.

When the last one stopped screaming, I felt at peace. The silence was absolute. I couldn’t even hear the wind, the cars, or the noises of the city. It was completely quiet.

I finally avenged you.

Part 4

Disposing of the bodies was quite simple but extremely tiring. I had to chop their bodies to bits, bury them and hide all the evidence. I cleaned with bleach all my weapons, the floor, and the walls of the warehouse. I had to soil the floor since it was dirty before and I couldn’t leave a clean patch in there, it would have been a dead giveaway.

Of course, I had to get rid of all their phones. I broke them into little pieces before grinding them up to a bag of dust and flushing them down the toilet.

I got most of my weapons from around the city. I stole the knives from the school kitchen and returned them to them. I did the crime on a Friday night and finished in the evening of Saturday so they wouldn’t have noticed the disappearance of their tools. I bought the rest of the tools from a hardware store so I could have just put it in someone else’s garage.

I couldn’t burn my clothes or rags because that would have caught the attention of my neighbors or anyone nearby so I colored it with all sorts of paints so the blood would have been unrecognizable. If anyone analyzed them, it would look like they were of an artist. And then I disposed of them.

Burying the bodies was the most laborious part and I could only do it during the night. It took me both Saturday and sunday to get rid of all the evidence.

The next days were all marked by nightmares. I didn’t dream of what I did. What haunted me was you leaving me. I was afraid that my crime could have separated us.

Chaewon, you’re a monster.

I can’t be friends with a murderer.

I can’t love a killer.

I hate you.

I wish you died.

I was distressed and jittery during the day and couldn’t sleep at night. Many times I would get distracted in those thoughts, imagining all the things you could say to me, and not realize people calling me. I would often zone out and not hear anything else.

“Chaewon? Are you okay?” my classmates would tell me. I would snap out of my daze and realize most of them were looking at me then I’d realize I actually chipped a corner of the table off with my grip.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s nothing,” I could only say. They would continue with the day forgetting about it or just tell their friends excitedly about a classmate with a freakish strength.

It was especially hard when I was training with the other trainees but I told myself you wouldn’t be proud of me if I wasn’t doing my best and forced myself to dance.

On Monday, their disappearance was announced but nobody could find anything. Not a single trace. The secret was safe with me.

They also announced your attack but they didn’t connect the two events together, assuming you were also a victim. The attacks in this Korea were common anyways. Bullying was so widespread you could say it was part of our culture.

After a week. you were still asleep. The doctor concluded that they must have stomped your head too for you to be concussed that badly. They damaged the nerves.

Unfortunately, I knew only after I killed them. If I knew I would have done the same to them so they could feel the pain you felt but I guess cutting their limbs counts as nerve damage as well.

I was getting extremely impatient waiting for your awakening. The doctor couldn’t help me but it wasn’t their fault. I’ve only realized now how much I relied on you and those days without you were as sad as Halloween without candies.

When I woke up, I couldn’t tell if the Sun rose already or if it was still sunrise, it was timid, and the light cast a somber hue in the room. It was gray and pale. The soundscape was eerily quiet, the usual chirping birds seemed to have disappeared, as if even nature was mourning alongside me.

Walking through the corridors of the school, I felt like a solitary figure amidst a sea of faces. Conversations echoed around me, yet they seemed distant. The classrooms, usually alive with energy, felt suffocatingly silent.

I couldn’t help but notice how happy the other students went on with their days, completely ignoring what happened to you. Worst of all, some students even mocked you, saying you were a loser and you deserved it. My bloodthirst was beyond the roof. I had to hold myself back a lot not to commit other killings, reminding myself that I could have raised a case of a serial killer if I wasn’t careful enough.

I thought I had been sneaky enough not to raise any suspicion but I didn’t know the only person to find out would have been you.

I was in an alley near the hospital when I met one of those mean girls. They were badmouthing you and I had to make sure they wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t kill them, you don’t have to worry about that. I merely sent a message, a little punishment. I got one nail for each insult they said toward you. Poor them, they won’t have nails for months—I hope it hurts.

They ran away but when I turned around, I saw you. You were looking at me so horrified and disgusted.

“I had my suspicions, Chae…” you said. “The coincidence was too perfect. I woke up and saw the news, I knew it was you. And now, I’m sure.”

“You’re mistaken, dear,” I tried to say foolishly.

“Chae, I saw everything.” Your face morphed into an extreme melancholy, of disappointment and sadness. My face instead contorted into a horrified frown. You… my best and only friend, my love. You discovered my worse secret—I knew what the consequences were and I knew what the risks were.

“I mean, what are you even doing here? Weren’t you still sleeping?”

“I woke up this morning—I got discharged—and the doctor let me take a walk… and then I saw you.”

“Do you know what I did all of this, darling?” I asked, my nerves were so tense and my blood was pumping like crazy. I was getting more and more scared. There was a thread inside me that was being pulled and pulled…

“W-what is it?” you asked with hesitation.

“It’s because… I… I love you.”

I saw the shock on your face but I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I did it. I snapped. You found out and there was no turning back. You didn’t have a choice either.

“W-what? What are you saying?”

“Darling, don’t you get it? I love you so so so so so much. I love you so much—to the point I killed for you. Yes, I did kill them. I murdered them. I slaughtered them. I made them suffer, love, the way they made you suffer… Please! Please understand—I’m doing this because I love you.”

“Chae, you’re scaring me. Stop…”

“Oh, don’t be scared, my love. I would never harm you or kill you… I would only cherish you—in fact, I did all of this to protect you from those bastards! I love you with all of my heart.”

That fire inside of me took over again and this time I was already glued to you, my knee under your thigh, pinning you to the wall, a hand on your cheek and one near your waist. You couldn’t move at all, I wouldn’t let you. I was finally this close to you… your skin was so smooth and soft—just like you, my precious baby.

Maybe I was smiling a bit too much. You’d describe to me later that I looked psychotic, yes, I was crazy.

You didn’t know how to react. I admit, you were so cute—so vulnerable and fragile, just at my mercy. Yet, you dared to take and push my hand away from your face.

“Chae, I’m sorry,” you said and it almost broke my heart, “but I just… I-I- I don’t know…” you said.

“What aren’t you sure about? Is it my love? Is it not clear enough?” I asked. “I’ll do anything for you, just ask me.”

“Please stay away from me,” you replied, “for a while.”

“What are you saying, darling?”

“Chae… you’re my best friend and I understand why you did all of that. I do. But I need to think about it. Don’t worry, I won’t say this to anyone, no one at all, but I need to stay alone for a bit,” you pleaded, “I just recovered too.”

“Okay, fine,” I agreed. You were right. It was a bit too much for you, especially after you just woke up from that concrete hospital bed. Also, I knew I could trust you. You never betrayed me so that did not scare me.

You slowly backed away and left me, alone in the alley.

I don’t know why but I started laughing hysterically.

I thought I messed up a lot. That isn’t the way your lover should look at you, right? Terrified and pleading on the verge of tears. You should have looked at me lovingly. I was so scared you’d leave me and I couldn’t let you do that. I needed you too much.

But then you left me waiting for almost a month. I respected your choice and didn’t contact you at all but it’s been too long. I figured that knowing I killed tormented you so I didn’t touch anyone else but rather I kept it to simply threatening them verbally and that seemed to work.

You have to understand I couldn’t take it anymore. Looking at your pictures every night wasn’t enough. Listening to your voice from the vocal messages wasn’t enough. Smelling the shirts I stole from you wasn’t enough, and the smell was fading away. My imagination wasn’t enough, especially when I knew I could have you and I was just waiting for the right moment.

Then the right moment came. I sent you a message just to let you know, you couldn’t say no. I went right to your house, which I came over to many times already, and even your mother knew me. She let me inside with a smile, she was so kind. I knew where you got that virtue from.

I heard you running frantically around your room. You must have been dressing up, so I waited until you were done, knocked, and opened the door. Your room smelled just like I remembered it, it was so good, it was just you.

“It’s been a while, Chae,” you said, clearly nervous. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing terrible, honey,” I answered honestly and you gulped. “You know, I’ve been good to you. I waited and did nothing else. I did not kill or hurt anyone. I let you have your space, then why did you disappear for an entire month?”

“I kept thinking and reflecting on what happened…”

“For a month?” I was furious. “Did you try to make me forget you? Did you try to forget me?”

“It’s that… It has been a tough month,” you said. “My best friend murdered 6 people, or more… How could I go back to what we were before? You killed… humans.”

“So? They didn’t deserve to live anyways. I did it for you.”

“No, Chae—”

“They beat you up so badly you couldn’t even walk!” I snapped. “They badmouthed you, they laughed at you and… why are you defending them?!”

“Yes, but you took their lives.”

“They were going to take your life too! Don’t you get it?”

“Chae, please—”

“No! Shut up! I can’t take this anymore! I can’t forgive them. They’re always making fun of you, beating you up, torturing you—just because you’re my friend! But you keep shoving it away and get hurt for me… I- I…”

I hugged you. I had to hold onto something and you were the only one that could have helped me stand up. All those years… I was so pent up, I was so tired of it. I know you told me many times to let it be but I can’t. Sorry, I just can’t help it. I can’t let anyone walk away after they hurt you, even if it’s something as little as pinching you, because you mean too much to me.

“Darling, I love you!” I sobbed and pleaded onto your chest, bathed by my tears, “I missed you so much. If I don’t see you even for a day, it starts to hurt, you know? I’ll do anything to stay with you, anything! Just tell me! I want to see you every day, I can’t let you leave like this…”

“If it’s like this,” you started, “we can make a deal.”

“A-a deal? Really?”

“Yes, a deal. You can see me how much you want but absolutely no killing. No physical assault and no insults to anyone.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes, you just have to restrain yourself.”

“Very well. Then, I promise, I will never kill again, I swear. Does that mean I can see you every day?” I asked. My tears finally stopped pouring out, the hiccup was still there, but I could focus and talk to you properly now. I took a deep breath and spoke, “Then you have to be my boyfriend from now on.”

“What did you just say?” you asked with confusion.

“You can’t say no. You are my boyfriend now. You know already, I told you so many times. I love you with all of myself.”

I knew you liked me a little already. I wasn’t sure if it was as strong as my love for you was, although I doubt it can, I knew you were interested in me. No one would stick with me for that long and no one would defend me from all those bullies. I knew you loved me, of course you did, you always took care of me since our first day and I couldn’t help but fall for you too.

I tried my best to change my appearance to suit your ideal type more. I dressed better, I dieted, I worked out, and I practiced so much that I wouldn’t disappoint you.

“Chae, are you sure? I’m just a regular guy and you’re an idol…”

“Don’t lie to yourself, honey. I wouldn’t give myself to just anyone. You never laughed about me, you believed in me when nobody else did, and you infected me with your kindness and humanity. You’re the best man I can ask for.”

“Thank you…”

“You’ll be my boyfriend and I’ll be your girlfriend, okay? Do you accept?”

“Uhm…”

“Do you accept?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Ma’am?” I laughed. “Don’t tell me you have some weird fetish going on… It’s okay. Just tell me, I won’t mind, hehe.”

Part 5

You have been very strict with me. The first thing you did was to establish a set of rules and all the punishment that would have resulted in breaking them. You’ve been very clear in defining them and made sure I understood you were very serious about it and would absolutely punish me if I dared to not respect them. They were something along the line of:

NO KILLING. The punishment is an instant break-up.

NO BODY HARM to anyone. The punishment is no contact for two weeks.

NO KIDNAPPING/STALKING/THREATENING other people. The punishment is no skin touching for a week.

RESPECT YOU. We’re together in this relationship and I have to listen to you.

TRUST YOU. You'll leave me if I don’t trust you when you tell me you aren’t cheating.

I accepted them and we started dating. Our relationship was as good as it was before but this time I got to be as clingy as I wanted, hugging you as much as I wanted, holding your hand wherever we went, and most of all you gave me a lot of head pats. You always gave me head pats to congratulate me when I did well in school or had a good performance.

It was difficult to respect those rules and you showed me how convinced you were of them when I broke the hand of a guy who shoved you against the lockers. You really ghosted me for two weeks without saying anything. When they ended I couldn’t help but jump on you and I promised to be more careful. Since then, I didn’t break any other rules and you showed me your love in so many ways, I lost count of them.

We learned a lot about each other and helped each other all the time. You helped me be more confident with my skills and get angry (but you told me I was cute when I got mad). You were always a bit discouraged with your work, giving up easily, and I made sure you knew how great you were. Just like me, school has really made you more insecure about yourself, but when we were together, we achieved a lot more.

Recently I discovered a hidden diary you used to keep under your bed, between the mattress and the frame. The last thing you wrote was months ago, way before the incident, and it was you rambling about me. ABOUT ME! And it was so adorable. “I have the biggest crush on my friend!” You wrote on the last page.

I stared at the words in a daze, it was like the words were screaming in my face. I was used to only obsessing over you and knowing you were going through the same thing warmed my heart.

You know, I’ve never believed in good endings, but with you, I think I finally found one where we are the protagonists. Our story is not like a fairy tale, it’s far from perfect, I am not a princess, nor could ever be one. However, you made me feel like one and I’m more than sure you’re my prince.

Sorry if I am always so obsessive and so imperfect, I just can’t help it.

THE END

Written, 7 June - 27 June 2023

#yandere #yanderekpop #yanderekpopgg #kpop #lesserafim #chaewon #chaewon yandere #angst

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thethreeeyed-raven · 6 months

Note

Hey pooks, hope the brits haven't gotten to your head yet. All that tea ya know? PIP PIP, ELLO!!!

anywho, imma hit you with a daddy Zuko req.

So, him and fem reader are childhood friends. And she was kind of a ball of Anxiety and didn't have many friends. So zuko took her under his wing, and was really protective of her.

So when he is banished, he doesn't take her with him because he think she's safer at home.

She thinks she made him mad somehow, and she thinks Zuko hates her and left her.

After he returns (pretending to have killed Avatar) she kind of avoids him, cause she thinks she did sm wrong.

Zuko thinks he did sm wrong, and thinks that she hates him because of the banishing and him kinda being a murderer.

He finally is like "wth, talk to me. Ily, I missed you sm"

And she's like "I thought u hated me ilyt"

And he's like "pooks, u can't love me I've done terrible things.'

And she's like "bby, ily I know u never hurt me. Idc that u banished and a murderer. U always take care of me pooks."

And they all live happily ever after.

WELP, have a good tea time!!!

return

navigation | warnings : none? | a/n : this was better in my head, must of been the 5 cups of tea i have everyday | zuko playlist | tags : @fangsp1der-2099 , @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @knight-of-flowerss , @mochminnie

You remembered the day he left.

He didn’t even look back at you.

He just left you there.

But now he had returned.

What were you to do? You hadn’t spoken to him in almost three years.

He was banished, you knew that. But why didn’t he take you with him?

Zuko had felt nervous all day.

Yes, he was scared of what his father would do. But he was more scared of what you would say.

Did you even stay in the fire nation?

When you were feeling down, you usually went to feed the turtle ducks.

Today was one of those days, it was nothing new.

It was quiet and peaceful, until a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Hello.”

You whipped your head around and met those enchanting golden eyes.

“Zuko.”

He approached you slowly, then sat down.

The silence was awkward at first. Zuko then had the courage to speak.

“I need to apologise to you.”

You looked at him from your peripheral view.

“When I was banished, I was afraid to take you with me. I didn’t want you to see me that way.”

“And I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad you didn’t see what I became, what I have become. For that I’m sorry, but I also don’t regret it.”

The hungry turtle ducks were far out of your mind now. Your thoughts were filled with the boy next to you.

“I thought you hated me. You didn’t even look at me when you left.”

All this time, Zuko thought that you had forgotten about him. He never imagined that you would hate him.

“I could never hate you. I didn’t look at you because I felt shameful.”

Both of you didn’t know what to say.

“When you were gone, I was all alone. You remember me having no friends don’t you? Well, no one definitely wanted to be friends with the buddy of the banished Prince.”

“And I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”

Zuko shook his head. “You have the right.”

“I didn’t hate you…because I loved you. I always have.”

You took your hands in his gently. “I’ve always loved you too, and even now, after all you’ve done. I know I can love you.”

His hand softly caressed your face and he brought you closer. “Can I…”

Nodding, you closed the gap and brought your lips together.

Yours were soft against his chapped ones, both of you enjoyed the feeling of the other.

“We can learn to love properly again. I know it.”

#sokka avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender x reader #prince zuko x reader #atla zuko #prince zuko #zuko #zuko x y/n #zuko x you #zuko x katara #fire lord zuko #zuko x sokka #zuko x reader #avatar zuko

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throneofsapphics · 2 months

Text

loyal friends

poly!Ruhnlidia x Reader

Summary: “You look so pretty on your knees,” “At least I didn’t get arrested,” and “You look so good with my hand around your neck” with Ruhn and Lidia.

Warnings: references to drinking/intoxication, sexual content, oral (f!receiving) minors dni

A/N: for this! I'm so obsessed with them.

You slipped through the door, shutting it quietly behind you, trying to hide your heavy breaths. Somehow, you’d managed to avoid whoever was on patrol, but it was a close thing. Your heels were long gone, discarded behind some dumpster or another. It had taken you an hour longer than it should’ve to get home, covering your tracks as best as you could.

Vandalizing hadn’t been on the agenda for the evening, but when that asshole insulted your friend it was all too easy for the three of you to find their home, and leave a nice little message behind.

A tang of guilt hit you. Not for the sweet revenge, but for leaving them behind. They’d told you to run after you’d figured out you were caught. Sure, you’d all disguised yourselves from the camera’s, but the world knew who your mates were and how much of a shit storm it would cause if you had been caught in the act. Lidia and Ruhn were out late tonight, but your alcohol hazed mind couldn’t remember exactly what they were doing. Work, probably.

Hot water washed the grime away, aided by furious scrubbing. After washing your hair, twice, you slipped into comfy clothes, fully prepared to spend the rest of your night on the couch, letting a mindless reality tv show calm your still thundering heart.

Turning the volume up to an obnoxious level, your phone slipped from your hand. Cursing, you tried to shove it closer to you with your foot - only succeeding in sending it under the couch. Groaning, you slid off, kneeling in front of it - ass up in the air, arm reaching blindly to try and sweep it out.

“You should be more aware of your surroundings,” a faintly amused female voice called. A familiar one.

You cursed violently, you hadn’t even heard the door open, probably couldn’t hear over the noise. Noise that was now gone with a click of the remote. You slid back, shuffling yourself out and sat on your heels.

First, you saw Ruhn’s boots, then snapped your head up to see him - hand outstretched, looking rather severe.

“What is it?” you asked, placing your hand in his. He didn’t move.

“Shame,” he muttered. “You look so pretty on your knees,” and tugged you up to your feet, his other hand gripping your shoulder to balance you. A shiver ran down your spine, his words making specific nerves in your body stand on end, but you’d save those for later - in case an apology was needed.

“What is it?” You repeated, looking past him to Lidia. Her lips curved into a smile, but she jerked her chin towards Ruhn.

“Two of your friends,” he started and your stomach dropped, “are currently in holding cells.”

“What happened?” You tried to keep your voice from wavering.

“There’s currently a giant dick painted on the home of a very wealthy investor,” a touch of amusement entered his voice, “and said investor is howling about a third ‘criminal’ escaping, demanding they’re brought in at once.”

It was obvious both Ruhn and Lidia knew the identity of said criminal.

“And do you have any suspects?”

“Whoever it is, they’re good at hiding,” Lidia said, “almost like they know exactly how to avoid the camera’s.”

“Good for them,” you shrugged. Ruhn’s hand from your shoulder, up the side of your neck, thumb brushing over your cheekbone, before dropping back to his side, his other hand releasing yours as well. You flopped back on the couch, phone forgotten for the meantime.

“I should take you in myself,” he glared at you half-heartedly. There was a hint of pride in his eyes.

“With what evidence?”

“At least tell me what he did,” Ruhn countered.

“I wasn’t there,” you emphasized, ignoring his eye roll, “but theoretically, he could have said some very rude things about a friend of mine. Looks like the type.”

“This asshole isn’t going to let it go.”

“Tell him he’s hallucinating,” you offered, giving him your best grin. Lidia let out a soft laugh, golden hair falling over her shoulder. “At least I didn’t get arrested,” you threw as much honeyed innocence as you could into your voice, “that would’ve been a bigger mess. Theoretically”

He shrugged noncommittally, but he knew you were right. “You have some loyal friends.”

“I wasn’t there, remember?”

He groaned, but you noticed some of the tension left his shoulders, and he collapsed back on the couch, arm hanging over the side, legs spread wide. His fingers played with his lip ring. You remembered what that lip ring could do, a shot of arousal running through your core.

“Really?” Violet-blue eyes danced, mouth curving into a smirk, hand falling to rest on his thigh.

“I can’t help it,” you shrugged.

His eyes traced over your shoulder, but before you could follow there was heat behind you, Lidia’s body pressing into yours, one hand on your stomach, pressing you back against her, the other resting delicately around your neck.

“You look so good with my hand around your neck,” her lips grazed over your ear, words soft and breathy.

A slow breath, eyes closed, head tilted back, resting against her shoulder, pulse thrumming against her fingers, her other hand trailing along your waist band, barely dipping into the skin below.

“Please,” you breathed, and she chuckled.

“Should we give him a show?”

“Yes,” Ruhn answered for you, “absolutely.”

Lidia’s hands dragged up your stomach, nails scratching lightly, taking your shirt with her. Each touch felt imbued with flame, the softness of her lips against your neck making your breath catch, the small whimpers involuntary.

“Naughty,” Ruhn’s voice interrupted as your arms raised, letting Lidia toss the shirt over. You were bare beneath, as always at this time of night. You rolled your eyes, but twisted, catching Lidia in a kiss.

Teeth nipped at your bottom lip, tongue swiping against to ask for entrance.

Parted lips, heavy breaths, hands winding in hair, the world forgotten, you leaned into her, let yourself be fully embraced in her presence and all encompassing aura.

It wasn’t long before Ruhn gave up on his show, deciding to take a more active role. You chuckled as he pressed against your back, fingers sliding down the rest of the fabric covering your bottom half.

Jeans rough against your bare skin, shadow laced fingers cooling the heated parts of your body, moans grew louder as they worked you in tandem.

“Too. Many. Clothes,” you managed to force the words out, regretfully breaking your lips away from hers.

“You’re naked, love,” she teased.

You tugged at her shirt in response. Her eyes rolled, but she first pulled you - ignoring Ruhn’s discontented grunt, before flipping you over her shoulder in one smooth movement. You squeaked as she carted you off towards the bedroom.

There, she finally let you tear the rest of her clothes off. Not literally, but they did fly across the room, Ruhn laughing as her shirt hit him in the face.

“Yours off too,” you scowled at him.

“Someone’s bossy today,” he tutted, but obliged.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” You commented as he undressed, examining the tattoos you already had memorized.

“Yesterday.”

Lidia huffed, pushing you back. “My patience is running out.”

Her head found its way between your legs, bliss following. Each kitten lick, the finger slipping inside, the spot she pressed against was all perfection.

You barely registered Ruhn behind you, your back against his chest, his fingers toyed with your nipples, focused on the goddess before you - golden hair falling over her shoulders, eyes filled with wicked triumph.

#ruhn danaan x reader #lidia cervos x reader #ruhn danaan x you #ruhn danaan x y/n #crescent city imagine #lidia cervos x y/n #crescent city x reader #ruhn danaan x reader x lidia cervos #ruhn daanan x y/n x lidia cervos #ruhnlidia x reader #ruhnlidia x y/n #poly!ruhnlidia #poly!ruhnlidia x reader #poly!ruhnlidia x y/n #crescent city smut

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kxxkiecxre · 4 months

Text

・❥・WICKED GAMES || Jeon Jungkook ・❥・

PAIRING: Jungkook x reader

SUMMARY: how does one mend two broken hearts?

SERIES: like a moth to a flame.

WARNINGS: arguing(bear with me please 😔), miscommunication, talks of illness(cancer not for reader or Jungkook), constant bickering, cold Jungkook, mean Jungkook, reader is also in the wrong:/, drinking, unprotected sex(you’re not that stupid please wrap it), oral (f receiving), cream pie :), nothing was actually figured out.

As always enjoy!!

Previously… Next…

It pained you to see the clear hurt on his face. It made your heart shed rays like a sun during a solar storm and it burned so bad. The sheer velocity of pain was making you feel like you’d die any second. It was his glass stained eyes that truly had you gulping down the knots in your throat. You understand, you haven’t been exactly fair when you left both of them. Without as much as sparing another word for two months after you’ve disappeared.

He leaned against the kitchen island, palms embedded into the edges as he scoffed and smirked in pure anger, head falling between the space of his arms. He swayed back into an upright posture, biting on his bottom lip. The little dimples that you adore visible In his cheeks.

“I’m having trouble looking at you,” he finally mumbled, “every time I do, you seem to kill me all over again.”

Your brows furrowed, “Jungkook I’m so sorry”

He shook his head, looking around the apartment, “don’t be,” he wasn’t even sure if you apologising is what he wanted. After all, both of you seemed to hurt one another every time one of you got too close. It seemed almost like you were in magnetic field and you and Jungkook were positive and negative, something that just cannot be in a field of neutrality.

“I don’t need an apology,” it wasn’t like he was trying to shame you, or punish you, more like he was trying to be clear, “I need you to look me in the eyes, and tell me truly and honestly, between those moments where it was just us and the night, did you love me?”

Your lips parted, a sigh leaving your mouth and you take a few seconds to reply, “yes.”

He nodded, swaying back and further, chuckling to himself before his eyes landed back on you, “I find that difficult to believe.”

Your heart sunk, hitting the pit of your stomach with so much force it made you feel nauseous.

“Because if you did love me, you wouldn’t have left me like that. You wouldn’t have left everything we’ve worked for and sacrificed, because of one hiccup. I get it, she was mad, after all, she’s Yeji, and Yeji is more than understanding. If we’ve given her space and time she would have come around-“

“Kook,” you shook your head, begging to keep the tears from falling, “I didn’t want to force this onto anything or anyone, it was pointless to push this onto her if we would lose all her trust, which in the process of our own selfishness we have betrayed her, already losing it. However, if I have left without picking sides, at least then, both of you could have worked it out and perhaps you could regain at least an inkling of her trust back. You know that once you lose her it’s very hard to get her back. I just didn’t want to hurt both of you like that”

He sighed closing his eyes, “what about us? Do we not get a happy ending? Do we not get a choice?”

Somehow this night reminded you of months ago when you committed the first of your betrayal on this very counter between you two. You didn’t want to relive this pain, but every word that you share between your conversation it seems like the knife gets dug further and further, pressing your heart, threatening to rip it right out of your chest and throw it out the window.

If you had stayed and chosen sides, it would have broken a bond between one of them and yourself. At the end of the day, all three of you would have ended up hurt and split. Between choosing platonic soulmates and romantic ones, somehow you have forgotten about yourself. That day before the argument happened. It seemed like the best day ever, and all of a sudden everything had burst into flames. You didn’t want to go through that again, better yet, put both of them through that again.

Somehow both you and Jungkook continue being selfish. Standing in the kitchen discussing what ifs about the relationship that you’re not even sure stood a chance, meanwhile your best friend and his sister is in the room down the hall sleeping, fighting a disease you didn’t even know she had. You were a shit best friend, that much you knew.

“Jungkook, she’s in the other room -“

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice dropping an octave, “do we not get a chance? Is this what we’re destined for hm? Fuck it kills me not to have you in my arms when you’re within my reach”

“I don’t know what to tell you! Okay? What am I supposed to do? Tear myself in half and keep both of you happy? What about me Jungkook? What about me?”

It was quite yet again, he leaned against the counter, tapping his fingers against the bottom drawers while you held the cup of tea between your hands, looking at the orange colored liquid inside the glass as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“I love you,” he muttered, “it might be selfish of me, but I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I didn’t want to dream of you every night, to feel like this for the first time. With you.”

Your heart squeezed, trashed around in your chest to escape the hell it was going through, “I didn’t mean to either.”

You looked into his eyes, both of on the verge of crying, “I love you too, unfortunately.”

Her face was pale. The hollows below her cheekbones prominent as she sat on your navy couch, she brushed her frail hands across the fluffy pillow smiling to herself. Her hair was thinning, but it still managed to frame her face beautifully. When her eyes met yours, you could see the happiness and love within them. It made you feel warm inside, it had you smiling within seconds. That’s exactly how yeji works, she’s the sun and we’re all just orbiting her.

“Do you remember when we were 16?”

Your brows furrowed, “when exactly”

“Jackson’s 18th”

“Yeah”

“Do you remember when we promised to always be happy for the other person, even if we disagree?”

Your expression immediately fell. You were so tired, so tired of constantly being reminded of this aching grief within you. Even though nobody has died, you were grieving of what could have been of you and Jungkook, “yeji, let’s not talk about that.”

“No. Let’s.”

“Why?”

“When did you realise you fell in love with Jungkook?”

You looked down to your hands in your laps, playing with the loose string of your silk pyjamas, “when we had that big argument? I realised I didn’t have a crush on him, I was madly in love with him. That night when we made up, it really confirmed it for me.”

She smiled, “I think,” she clears her throat, “I was being selfish… I stood between love, and no one should ever do that. You would never do that to me. At the time when you told me, all I could think about was losing my best friend if something happened between you two, what I failed to realise is, that we are more than best friends. No one can ever come between us, and also, in the process, I could even gain myself the best sister in law ever”.

It wasn’t necessarily that she accepted Jungkook and you, that brought you to tears, it was the fact she set aside her own self to let you guys be happy. That is what breaks you, because Yeji is too good of a person for anyone. No one in this world will ever deserve her. She’s far too good for this impure world, for this universe that will only break your heart. yeji deserves everything good and best in this whole galaxy. No one will ever compare to her.

“I love you so much yeji”.

“I love you too, go get your mans girl.”

“He can wait” both of you laughed, and everything seemed right again.

Still as you caught up with Yeji, you worried on how you’d reconnect and mend things with Jungkook. Surely, he’s tired of all the arguments and the little things that’d come between you and now it all has you thinking. Thinking too much. Because you’re afraid and the more that you go over things, the more you realise that perhaps you’re not good for each other? Maybe you’re too toxic for one another.

All things aside you still love him more than you could ever love yourself. He’s the only person that could ever make you feel like all the stars exploded within your body and it was all just fireworks going off inside your chest. No one ever made you this happy, this overwhelmingly positive and no one’s ever made you feel as beautiful as he would every time he’d touch your body, every crevice his lips would kiss would ignite confidence and love in their wake.

Maybe that is why your heart still calls for him. Because you’d rather give him your heart, whether it was shattered into pieces and glued together and the last drop of your blood then live without him. So even if he was cold, even if he rejected you, you’d do nothing more than love every inch of him and devote your soul and body to him. Because no one’s ever had you this foolish within the desire for another’s heart and body like he does.

No one ever, loves the way Jungkook loves.

By the time things started to become normal, Yeji was finally fully cancer free and steadily recovering. Her cheeks started to become fuller, her skin regaining that healthy glow and her hair was growing and becoming bouncy just like before. In moments, you finally felt some sense of normality, like nothing ever happened. Until it came to talking to Jungkook.

Every time you’d direct your focus on him and speak to him, wether to have a conversation or to ask him a question, he’d either out right ignore you or be extremely short and cold with his answers, distant.

He’s become overwhelmingly distant. It was killing you inside, but at the same time you didn’t have the guts to confront him. Your guilty conscience was holding you back, reminding you that this wasn’t his fault. That he has every right to be upset with you and never talk to you again. It hurt, but you leaving him so easily must’ve hurt him even more. Because you know that if he did that to you, you’d be in shambles.

You tried your hardest to be happy, at the end of the day you’re in Aspen. There’s snow almost every minute of the day, everything is a white blanket of snow and Christmas lights illuminated the streets, glowing in different colours. It was like pure joy and ecstasy throw up within it.

The girls decided to go out for drinks to some club close to the cabin you were staying in, leaving the guys behind. Minho, Jackson, Lukas and Jungkook decided to stay back, start a fire in the chimney and drink beer watching some type of basketball you couldn’t really care about.

Slipping into the champagne rose coloured dress you sighed. It’s a shame nobody is taking this dress off you, because fuck was it beautiful. The satin material was so delightful, the dress was shorter than you’d usually opt for, but in all fairness, it did wonders to your curves. The neckline was deep, showing hints of your breasts, the hem of the skirt reached mid thigh, a dangerous length for bending. The back was exposed completely, aside from protecting the little modesty of your ass. A very flashy thin chain crisscrossed across your smooth back. Of course this type of dress required a warm coat, otherwise you’d suffer from frostbite. You’ll undoubtably will be extremely cold, but that’s a small price you’re willing to pay for this outfit.

Your coat was white and very fluffy, faux fur on the outside, warmed with wool inside. Classy and suits the rose coloured dress perfectly, your heels were high, also rose coloured material on the sides aside from the fact the foot was open, covered with blingy laces that tied up to your mid calf. You looked sexy, that much you knew.

“Suddenly, I wish I had a penis” you hear Alana behind you, her own black heels clicking off the wooden floors of your room.

You laughed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before you slipped your bag over your shoulder. Linking arms with Alana, you walk down the stairs, where Yeji and Caroline waited. A low whistle is heard echoing the room, the girls stopped talking, smiles bracing their faces as they watched you walk down.

Jungkook watched you across the room, lazily slumped onto the armchair in the corner of the room. You looked so fucking hot and it had something inside the pit of his stomach stirring. He did not want you going anywhere in that outfit. Despite knowing he doesn’t own you or the choice of what you wear, he wishes he could just throw you over his shoulder and rip that dress off your body. He took a sip of his beer as he watched the way your smooth skin shone within the low lighting of the living room.

Good god did you look beautiful. If you were the only person in this room right now, he’d be on his knees right now. Worshipping your body the way it deserves to be, starting from your legs to your forehead he’d cover you in bruises made by his lips, he’d write his name on your body with the way he’d suck on your skin. God he’d destroy you right now, fuck you so good the only thing you’d be thinking about is his name. He wants to imprint his mark on your body, he wants you to reek of him so no man ever gets to come within half a metre of you. So no man can ever touch you again.

God he hates you so much.

Jungkooks a bad liar. He knows that, because his heart is only ever good for you. It only beats to the rhythm of your heart, every time it beats it pumps your name into his blood, injects him with the only poison he’d ever voluntarily ingest. The only medicine that could fix his fucked up head, yet the only thing that he’d let destroy him over and over and over again. He’d write your name everywhere you walked so everyone could know that the most beautiful human being walked the path they are on.

He’d shoot any sick fuck who dared to ever hurt you, he’d slice their throats in a split second to erase them from this world if they ever wronged you. Whatever you desired, he’d feed you it. He’d do whatever you wanted him to do, he’d sell his soul for you.

Even now as the boys compliment you all he does is shoot daggers there way. His eyes only softening when your own lock with his. His heart begins to palpitate, it begins to float only to slam down again, up and down up and down. It was insane the effect you had on him.

As the guys watch the game all he can do is think about you and what you’re doing. Are you having fun? What if you’re making out with someone… what if you’re fucking someone else? Fuck.

He grabs his keys, thankful for only drinking one sip of the cheap beer. Inside the rented car, he pulls his phone out, realising you’ve already been gone for almost an hour, he clicks onto your contact, cooing as he sees the picture he’s set for you, before he calls your phone.

“Yes?” He could already hear the slurring in your speech, his head thrown back into the seat, he closes his eyes trying to focus.

“Where are you?”

You giggle, “why kookie? Are you worried?”

To you, he sounded scared and you knew you shouldn’t mess with him when he’s worried about you. But you couldn’t really care, not when you’ve drunk so much alcohol in such a short period, trying so hard to mend your broken heart with alcohol when you know the only way you’d fix it is with his dick so deep inside you it’d reset you to factory settings. Just a little slut for him, just how he loves to tell you when he fucks you.

“Y/N, you better tell me where the fuck you are.”

You think for a second, taking this as a chance to ask him a question, better over a phone call than face to face, even if you’re going to see him in a couple of minutes anyway, “why do you hate me?”

“What?” He almost whispered in disbelief.

You sighed, blowing your stray hair away from your face as you leaned against the wall, “I’m in the club around the corner.”

That’s all you say before you hang up on him. He cusses, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. He can’t believe you walked to this place in such cold weather in such a flimsy dress, or in heels in this slippy weather. Sometimes you really love testing the waters of how much luck you have. As he enters the club, his eyes swarm across the crowds trying to find you, he finally does. You’re swaying side to side, talking to some guy who seems like he’s also pissed drunk. He waits for a minute, locating yeji before he begins walking towards you.

He looked so good it hurt so much. He wore black slacks, and a black knit sweater. His hair perfectly laying on his head. The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up, his Rolex so shiny and perfect around his wrist. He looked so cozy and hot it wasn’t fair.

“Come on let’s go home.” He says. Draping his trench coat over your shoulders.

“You’re not my dad.” You scoff.

He gives you a look, telling you he’s serious. You roll your eyes, shrugging out of the jacket and brushing past him as you walk to Yeji. His warm woody vanilla scent wrapping around you and already sticking to your clothes.

“Your brother is annoying” you say, with a pout.

She glances behind you, smirking, “he saw your outfit and it probably freaked him out.”

“What do you mean”

“He probably thought you were gonna hook up with some guy, and he’s jealous so he came to collect his girl.” She winks at you, sipping her sprite with a lime on top.

“Oh please, he hates my guts. Ever since that he hates me.”

She shakes her head at your oblivion, “go with him before he chews this place up.”

You groan, taking your bag from her and walking towards the man with the stern face. You groan even louder when you’re near him, huffing and scoffing as he follows you outside. Following behind he smirks to himself, kicking himself to not coo at your little tantrum.

“I don’t know why I’m even listening to you.” You groan stomping your foot as he wraps the coat around you again.

He ignores you, face still stern and cold. What is wrong with this guy. He’s so confusing, “what’s your problem Jungkook! You come here to ruin my night, demanding I go home with you yet all you do is ignore me and you’re so cold to me but everyone claims that you love me. I’m so confused. What is your problem!”

He tilts his head to the side like a puppy, eyes glistening in the night, putting the stars to shame, “let’s just go home.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No!,” you stand your ground, “either you tell me what’s your problem, or I am turning right back around and finishing what I started with that guy” you nod back to the entrance of the club.

It was very sudden, the way he pressed you up against the car, his hand around your jaw, so gentle yet so dominating, “what did you do with him?”

“Enough to have you go crazy if I told you.” you smirked, lying through your teeth but you loved the way it riled him up. You’re just testing Yejis theory.

“What did you do with him?” He asks again, this time his voice has dropped an octave, his eyes darkening.

“First,” your lips pulled into a flirty smile as your hands tangled into the back of his hair, “I lured him into me, I danced with my ass pressed up against him, before he followed me to the bathrooms, that’s where I kissed him,” your lips get awfully close to his own, so much so that if you puckered them just a little more you’d peck him, your hands sprawled over his chest, eyes looking up into his own, “I then kissed his neck, before his hands started feeling me up. He touched my ass first, squeezing it-“

“Stop” he warned you.

“Then his lips kissed my throat, his hand-“

“y/n, i said stop.”

“Why? Are you not enjoying the way I’m telling you the story? Am I taking too long? Should I skip to the part where he fucks me?”

His body pressed against yours, forehead leaning into your own, hands smacking into the car behind your head, your innocent eyes continued piercing into his, “tell me you’re lying.”

“Why?”

“Please.”

You lean into him, all you had to do was reach up and wrap your lips around him. Taste him again for the first time in ages, “I lied.”

The force with which he kissed you, had you gasping into his mouth, clearly shocked by the way your body melted into the black Mercedes which you’re pressed up against. His lips were hungry, angry and so frustrated. He could taste the cherry vodka on your lips and it drove him to kiss you with such passion it had you moaning without him even doing anything. You could feel the wetness of your pussy dripping past your thongs and down your inner thigh.

“Fuck” you whined, he grabbed your jaw a little bit tighter this time.

“Don’t ever mess with me like that again.” He said, the door behind you clicking as he held it open for you.

You ran your thumb across your lower lip, wiping the messy lipgloss because of his rough mouth. Staring into his eyes with a menacing but such an innocent look. He really didn’t want to fuck you when you’re drunk but shit was he itching to stuff you full of him. As you sit inside the car, his tongue pokes his cheek. Your lipgloss reflecting of his lips.

“I’m going to go get your coat, stay here.”

Not like you had much of a choice. If you did leave he’d probably set this place on fire. So you sat on the leather seat, the bottom of it warm against your ass. Did he set it to heat up for you? That’s so sweet. That’s exactly what he does though, he does these little gestures to make you think you’re progressing only to give you the shoulder. It takes every inch inside you not to scream at him.

He returns shortly with your coat, holding it in his hand the other in the pocket of his pants. It was unfair that he gets to look so good without even trying.

Before he could even reach the car, a woman runs behind him. A stunning woman at that. She was slim and tall, skin as white as the snow outside and hair platinum blonde. Her eyes wore a smoky black eyeshadow, her body dressed in black from head to toe. She was so fucking hot, even you could admit that.

She seems to call out for him, he smirks before turning around to face the strange woman. They talked for a minute, and like some psychopath, you could see the smile on his face just from the back of his head. It had your pink nails digging into the leather seats, a scoff leaving your mouth. Fucking bitch. Surely she could see you in the car.

You were being irrational, you can acknowledge that. But something inside of you kept eating the anger like fire would with gasoline. It had you hot and bothered, so angry steam could be seen coming from your ears. Jealousy was the most infuriating feeling one could ever have to face. It had you out of the car within a second. Walking fiercely towards the man who conversed with the woman.

Your hand wrapped around his shoulders from the back, your voice becoming cute and sultry as you spoke to him, “come on baby, I’m cold I want to go home.”

The woman standing across you, smiled, her face dropping in disappointment as he turned his head towards you for a second, “yeah we should get going hm?”.

He so badly wanted to make you feel an ounce of the furiousness he felt just a few minutes ago when you were telling him about your little hook up. He wanted you to feel how insane it can drive you. Maybe he partly succeeded, but he wanted so badly for you to experience the pulsating jealousy he feels through his body, but he was better than that. He’d never embarrass you like this, not when he can clearly see you uncomfortable. Maybe even a little insecure. To which he’s not sure why, because he’s almost a hundred per cent sure every man and woman alike was staring at you.

He nodded a courtesy ‘bye’ to the woman before wrapping his arm around your waist and guiding you towards the car again, “what did i tell you about staying in one place? Where’s the jacket?”.

You roll your eyes, scoffing.

God you make him crazy, “I don’t want you to get sick, why do you never listen to me.”

You sat inside the car again, your body getting wrapped in a hug of warmth. So cozy and warm. You close your own door before he gets to do it, evidently not happy with him. He gets in beside you, starting the car and pulling off. Your oddly silent, not saying a single word to him.

“Are you warm enough?”

You don’t say anything, just continue looking out the window as he continues driving down the road. He smirks to himself for a split second, before wiping it off his face. He clearly got you riled up and fuck did it make him want you even more.

“So you’re ignoring me?”

He’s about to lose it. What’s the deal with you? What’s the deal with him? Why can’t he be a normal human being and embrace the fact that he can now freely be with you? Is it because of how you left? Without a single word? Without bidding goodbye? Is it perhaps because he had to mend his hurt and self pity but also his disappointment with his own self without anyone there for him? Could it be that he’s so hurt and betrayed that he cannot see past it? Hardly.

Sure enough as you reach the house, the other car is gone from the driveway. Jungkooks brows furrow for a minute, before he reaches for his phone, and sends a text. “The guys are gone out to join the girls.”

You don’t say anything, once again. You simply leave his car and head for the door of the cabin. The cold outside was bitter, a cloud of mist coming out your mouth with every breath that left you. You put the key into the door and open it, setting your bag down on the little black desk by the door. Along with your keys. Jungkook follows you, also discarding his personal items. The silence in the room was loud, it was screaming at you within each corner, it was something that would surely break the toughest soldier.

“Stop ignoring me, it’s rude.”

The scoff that leaves your chest could rattle the the roof right off this little cabin, “excuse me?”

You turn to face him, a rather nerve-racking look is on your pretty little face, and just like mentioned, it made Jungkook nervous.

Your eyes turned into slits as you slowly walked towards him, your heels clicking off the wooden floors, “you’ve got quite the nerve to tell me I’m rude for simply not being in the mood to talk to you, but you can ignore me for the last couple of weeks like it’s nothing. Fuck it’s almost Christmas, we’re leaving to go back home in three days, and the only time you’ve spoken to me within the three weeks that our group reunited is now. Now when I was finally going to try and move on, when I was finally going to stop being stuck on you and have fun. Even if it wasn’t going to be good. Even if it wasn’t with someone who I actually wanted, at least, I wouldn’t still be hung up on you.”

“Have fun with someone?”

“Oh my god,” you whined, “are doing this on purpose? You have me confused for weeks, you don’t talk to me and then suddenly when I feel a small faint of happiness you kiss me! You make me go crazy, I’m going fucking crazy!”

He scoffs, “and you think I haven’t? You left me without a word, you didn’t even have half a mind to talk to me. You just left me. I didn’t know if you were going to come back, if you were going to ever talk to me or yeji again. The moment you walked out that door you took my heart with you, and now you returned, and what? Did you want everything to go back to how it used to be?”

“I don’t know! Maybe? But at least we could have talked about it.” You said.

He walked towards you, hands stuffed in his pocket as he reached you. He looked down at you, so close and personal he could probably see every pore on your face. He made you nervous, the good type of nervous. It was honestly silly how quickly and simply he could have you forget what you’re mad about. How lightning fast he could make your heart skip beats and just how much you wanted him. His hand reached for your waist, grabbing onto the curve of your hip, scrunching the dress up.

“You really think, someone could ever make you have fun, like you do with me?”

Your eyes finally looked up, meeting his darkening gaze. The sultry look on his face had you picking up on confidence. That’s exactly how Jungkook worked on you, he influenced you so much. With him you felt like you could take on the world, like you were the only woman alive. He made you confident, and he made you feel so sexy.

Your eyes turned lazy, lips parting as you looked between his lips and eyes, “you really think I need you to have fun?”

He chuckled, his nose burying in your hair as he closed his eyes to the familiar scent, “oh I know you can have all the fun by yourself.” He smirked.

“Of course you do, at the end of the day, you liked watching me have fun,” your fingers wrapped around his chin, thumb running along his plump lip, “you especially loved watching me have fun when you couldn’t join”

Your hands were almost immediately grabbed into a tight grasp with his one hand, he pinned you against the wall. Your bare back meeting the cold wall had you arching into him with a small gasp, his hips pressed against your lower stomach, “and if I remember correctly, you loved it when I had my own fun with you.”

Your lips were sealed with his own, your breath was caught in your throat as you gasped right into mouth. His mouth was merciless, swallowing you like he was dehydrated. He was crazy, kissing you like his life was on the line. His grip on your hands eased, just so both of his hands could grab your hips, pressing you further into him and at that point you could feel his belt buckle right at your belly button, you moaned mid kiss, the vulgar sound sending blood to his dick and that’s when you felt him hard against your lower belly.

The butterflies that swarmed your stomach had you detaching from his mouth, your body arching into him as your head leaned into the wall, giving him ample space to latch his lips onto your neck, kissing so hard he surely left marks. He really was fucking crazy, shit.

“Fuck, we gotta move, they could be back any second.”

Without much effort, he lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist, forehead leaning up against his as his lips sucked into your bottom one, nibbling at it. Your dress rode up, exposing your ass to the cold air and bunching up at your thighs. He took this opportunity to grab a good handful of your ass, slapping it gently. Groaning into your mouth. He walked into his bedroom, on the opposite side of the living room.

He laid you down on the bed gently, his body still against yours your legs relaxed around him. His mouth began kissing down your neck, leaving a bruise on your collarbone before he tapped your ass, “sit up,”

Obedient as always, you sit up. Letting him undo the dress from the back, unbuttoning the three buttons above your ass, “I hate this dress.”

“Do you hate it or are you just jealous?” You smirked.

“Less talking, more kissing.” He chuckled as he kissed you again.

This felt like Jungkook. The Jungkook you know, the sweet man who cares about you. The one that would set the galaxy on fire for you. He slipped the dress of your body, with one smooth move, taking your underwear with him when you lifted your hips up. Your ass still on the edge of the bed, you leaned up on your elbows, your mouth parting as he drops to his knees, and for a second, you thought he was going to take your heels off, instead, he set your foot over his shoulder, kissing your inner thigh, his mouth warm against your cooler skin.

Your head leaned back, anticipating his lips. He kissed right on top of your pussy, watching your reaction as his tongue dipped inside your wet cunt. Your mouth opened, a small smile playing on your pretty lips. His tongue licked from the bottom to the top of your slit, collecting your arousal in his mouth, moaning lowly as he attached his lips on your clit sucking onto you, the pleasure forcing your body back down onto the sheets. His tongue began flicking, earning moans as a response. Your hands tangling onto the sheets, he loved you liked this, immersed in your own pleasure.

His finger entered your pussy, the feeling had you whining, biting onto your lip as you moaned, “Jungkook,”

The vibration of his low moan against you, sent shivers down your spine. He added another finger in you, stretching you out and your heel began digging into his back and that in turn made his own moan resound through you, “fuck please I need you.”

He didn’t listen, instead his tongue worked faster on you, his fingers curled in a “come here” motion, rocking inside you with so much strength your body began moving with his motions. Your whines became muffled, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip and finally you came on his fingers.

fuck I missed you”, he said, coming back onto his own feet he impatiently took his sweater off, mouth wrapping around his fingers to suck your cum off them. Your stomach rose and fell, and he was too impatient to take all his clothes off, instead he chose to kiss your body instead, pecking randomly all over stomach, chest and face, “I missed you so much”.

Your hands unbuckled his belt, pulling his zipper down. You started taking of his pants, getting them past his ass and letting them pool around his ankles as you kissed him messily, “I missed you too”.

You pumped his cock in your hand, running your thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and sucking it off right after, “condom.” You say as he begins rutting his dick up your slit, “fuck I didn’t bring any”.

You groaned, his tip hitting your sensitive clit, “I’m on birth control, are you clean?”

His mouth was busy creating bruises behind your ear, “I haven’t slept with anyone since you.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

He lined himself up with your pussy, his hands found yours, locking your fingers with his as he raised them above your head. His hips thrusted forward, entering you with a slight stretch. Both of you gasping in time with each other, lips hovering over each other. He took his time pushing inside you. Slowly, stretching you out and your body responded within a second. As if awaking from hibernation. Your hips moved with his as he bottomed out. Your eyes closing as he watched your beautiful face contorted in pure pleasure. He began slowly, his thrusts gentle before your breathy moans made him pick up his pace. His body thrusting with yours as your skin rubbed against each other.

The fullness inside your lower stomach was so good, the way his cock was dragging in and out of you with such precision. It had your toes curling inside your heels. Which made you wonder why he didn’t take them off you.

“You’re mine you get it? No one else’s but mine. I get to, fuck,” he moaned, your pussy clenching around him for a split second, “I get to love you.”

“Yes, fuck yes.” You agreed, your eyes so round and beautiful as they glistened, reflecting all his dreams and hopes in them.

His arm wrapped around your waist, and the force which he began thrusting inside you had you practically screaming, your nails digging into his bag as your chest and cheeks began blushing with your impending orgasm, the bed creaked with his merciless thrusting. His tip hitting something inside you so good that your moans silenced, sweat beading your body as the pleasure seeped from your head to yours toes, shooting electricity through your body as your pussy clenched around him. Leg shaking as you came without much of a warning, your voice choked up, “fuck”.

“Shit” his breathing was fast, moans resonating so deep inside his chest it felt like a rumble against yours. Face hiding in your chest as his thrust became sloppy, he chased his high, your overstimulation making tears form around your eyes as your moans drove him to cum inside you. His dick twitching, pumping hot liquid onto your walls.

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

A/N; so nothing was resolved really aside from some sex lol. I apologise for the slow updating I’m so busy. Masterlist is linked in my bio ;).

NO RECREATION OF ANY TYPE OR COPYING IS PERMITTED!

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mswani · 1 month

Text

Walking in on the heads of Cross Guild

NFSW minors dni.

(Content warning: GN!reader x Buggy, Crocodile, and Mihawk separately. Relationship unspecified. Reader catches them jerking off.)

Buggy was always unpredictable which somehow made him predictable, or to better put it, at this stage you were more than used to his shenanigans and quickly learned how to roll with whatever was thrown at you.

"Buggy, I don't think this merchandise —" The sight threw your words off, hand still gripping the doorknob and eyes wide, frozen in the doorway. You *were* casually coming into his quarters to talk to him about how some scheme for Cross Guild merchandise wasn't going to work, it's not like you hasn't done it before, but this caught you completely by surprise, even for Buggy standards.

You only caught a second of it but that's all you needed: Buggy sitting at the edge of his bed, pants around his thighs, legs apart and fist rapidly pumping up and down the length of his cock. A split second of it before he registered you standing there. "H-Hey what the hell! Get out!" His voice rasped out, cracking between words as he quickly tucked his shame behind his hands and brought his knees up. His face was practically glowing red, more red than his nose - don't let him catch you thinking that - caught between embarrassment that you walked in and he was too single-minded to think about locking the door beforehand.

"C'mon, it's four in the afternoon!" Was all flustered complaint you could manage to say back as you spun on your heels out and slammed the door behind you.

Crocodile is composed as ever, even when his throbbing erection is aching at the fabric of his slacks for release. He's sat in his office, the only light sources coming from a nearby lamp off to the side and the one at his desk. He sets his pen down with a decisive click against the wood next to the papers in front of him. For someone who controlled everything around him, nature had its calling and even he couldn't ignore it sometimes. Taking the matter into his hand, he swiftly unbuckled his belt and shifted his slacks down enough for his erection to heftily spring out. Annoyed at having to pause his work for such a basic need, he leaned back in his chair with a grunt and wrapped his fingers around the base of his shaft before sliding his hand up to the tip. He coated himself with his precum and started to stroke himself with a strong rhythm, seeking a quick release rather than pleasure.

A quick knock followed by you opening the door, "Sir, I have those reports. . ." Your voice trailed off, hand with the papers in them slightly slumping. You couldn't pull your eyes off what you were witnessing, and even with the intrusion he didn't stop, just giving you that same signature apathetic look. It wasn't until he spoke up that you snapped out of your stunned trance, "Either leave or finish me off." Was that a threat or an invitation? Knowing him it was both.

Mihawk enjoys his peace and solitude, now more than ever given the going ons of Cross Guild. Moments alone were becoming more rare, even when he did make it known he didn't want to be bothered. Night had finally fell and everyone at this point was asleep or in their own rooms, giving Mihawk the perfect opportunity to enjoy a book, good wine, and himself as company.

What started out as an accidental brush of his hand on his groin when adjusting his book turned to slow paced tracing and eventually palming at himself through his pants. Eventually his book and wine was forgotten for something more easing. It's not like anyone was or should have been around, so why not really enjoy himself? He undid his belt and zipped down his pants, freeing himself into his hand. As always, his movements were measured and controlled. He leaned his head on his hand, elbow bent on the armrest while his other hand pumped up and down the entire length of his shaft slow and drawn out. He made no noise and had every intention of savoring the moment. That was, until he heard footsteps and the door adjacent to the chair he was on crept open.

He acted quick and calmly, tucking himself back into his pants and placing his opened book over his crotch. The only give away that something had been interrupted was him clearing his throat, "Did you need something?" He asked in a low tone that was more said in his chest than aloud, looking slightly over his shoulder to see you stepping in, a book in hand.

You blinked, not sure what exactly you saw and how he swiftly recovered had you second-guessing yourself, as if your mind has been in the gutter too much recently. "Just putting this book I finished back," You murmured as you made your way across the room to the bookshelf, going with the assumption that your eyes were playing tricks on you. You turned to head back, eyes landing on Mihawk who's own eyes were locked on the book in his lap. You shrugged to yourself as you made your way back out, you were definitely seeing things.

#cross guild x reader #Buggy x reader #Crocodile x reader #mihawk x reader

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white-poppie · 11 months

Note

heyy could u maybe do a fem reader dealing with sh? with kenma, bokuto, and hinata(separate) from haikyuu. like she accidentally reveals them and they notice it and they all just comfort her? thank u and have a good day!!

You drew st★rs around my scars

A/n: HUGE TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD! So sorry for delaying this anon, life has been complicated these days, I really hope it wasn't an emergency rq. Please don't read it if you are not comfortable, I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone, stay safe :)

TW: S*lf H@/rm, scars, bleeding, crying, distressful situations, poetical depictions of scars (please let me know if I am missing anything.)

NOTE: Please, in case anything is troubling you, do contact someone you trust or the national helpline of your country. It may seem that there is no point in living, but trust me, there are always things worth fighting for. Please don't hurt yourself you are far too precious to be scarred in this way. If you ever wanna talk, my DMs are always open, I have helped people before and it wouldn't be any inconvenience to help more people in need.

FInd the helpline of your country

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄

The heat dampened your skin, as sweat rolled uncomfortably, sticking the clothes too close to your flesh than you would like. The salty beads of precipitation, made you hiss in pain as they rolled down the fresh, irritated scars; it was all too overstimulating.

The urge to scratch the skin over your pants was irresistible, it was a sort of double-edged sword that was ruining your comfort.

You sighed and decided to change into some shorts instead, it would prevent the sweat build-up that would irritate your skin.

The cool air of the aircon hitting your skin made it so much more bearable.

What you had forgotten in the midst of your discomfort was the fact that your significant other was in fact about to come from his practice soon. You two had planned a pizza dinner today.

"Oi Y/N?" he called as he removed his shoes before entering. You were in a state of comfort, half-bliss at the relief from the scalding sweat, it took you a few seconds before you could respond, panicking you grabbed your pants and tried to slip them over the shorts, "h-here." you called out, puffing as your voice cracked.

But Kenma was quick, agile and laser-sharp; all too cat-like for your liking. It felt like those scenes where the perpetrator was caught red-handed.

Your pants were half slipped up, only till your knees, giving a good view of the scar on your upper thighs, that lay just below your shorts.

You prayed, you hoped, you begged that Kenma wouldn't notice from that far, that the blood wasn't seeping from the fresh scars, that your lips weren't trembling in shame, that you didn't look so utterly defeated and ashamed.

So you just sat on the ground, all the effort you had put up for months, crumbling down all because of the heat -- you were far too careless. You sat on the floor, covering your face with your hands, the pants still bundled up to your knees.

Kenma was petrified, frozen, he had no idea what to do. His heart had dropped to his stomach when he entered and saw your scars in full display. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on.

He watched you break down, his hands, shaking and itching to comfort you, to help you somehow, but he is just spell-casted.

"Y/N..." he whispered softly and tries to walk with soft steps as if trying not to startle a sleeping baby, "look at me, please."

He said as kindly as possible, as he sits next to you, his heart breaking at how you softly shake your head.

"Baby please, I promise I won't get mad," he said in such a soft voice, like you would break if he was a tad-bit too loud. You shakily look up at him, eyes red and blood-shot.

"You are okay," he whispered and pat your head, "let's get you cleaned up, alright, we won't want any infections." he said and offered you a hand.

You shakily kept your hand in his as he pulled you up, ordering you to set on the edge of the bed while he got the medical kit.

"Are you gonna leave me?" you asked a little strongly, almost hating how vulnerable you sound.

"Never," he whispered softly and settled on the floor with the medical-kit, "I would never leave you when you need me the most, and I am not saying it out of obligation, I am saying it out of love."

"You are not alone, not anymore, I promise I am never going to blame you for any of this," he said and brushed your hair back, as he sat on floor, gently applying some antiseptic on your thighs with a q-tip.

He makes a mental note to throw all the blades and keep the knives and scissors away from your grasp while you are sleeping to prevent this kind of incident from happening again.

"I love you and nothing can change that, we'll overcome this together, I promise."

𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎

Bokuto wasn't the smartest in the bunch, but he was perceptive of emotions, he noticed when people got quiet, he noticed when someone felt left out, he is always there in the sweetest way possible, his antics are just that adorable.

But right now, you wanted nothing more than to just tell him to go away, but you can't, you can't do that to Bokuto, you can't do that to your Koutaro. Even when you are on the verge of collapsing, your vision blurring as you gripped the sink to stabilize yourself from the roar of panic that echoed deeply within the caverns of your brain.

"Angel, let me in, come on," he knocks softly on the door, "I know you are crying, I'll- I'll give you space I promise, I just need to make sure if you are doing okay."

Bokuto knows how much some people value their personal spaces, it was never a problem for him, but he respected that, he would've let you be on any other day, but seeing the way you were acting for the past one week...he is scared. He is terrified of the mere aspect of you doing something reckless that might take you away from him.

"Kou, please leave me be, I just- I don't wanna see anyone right now."

"Baby, please," he almost pleads and you know he is going into his emo mode again, "I'll break the door Angel, but I am not letting you be, not like this."

You panic frantically as you hear that he will burst open the door, “Kou wait-“

“Get away baby,” he says as he braces himself for kicking the door down.

“3…”

Your heartbeat sped up, but you weren’t sure why, Koutarou’s reaction? Being scared that he would leave you? Or the fact that he was gonna break down the door and waste money for no apparent reason.

“2…”

You breath in deeply and unlock the door, standing behind it. You let him open the door.

Koutaro hugs you. No questions asked, no word spoken; just his muscular arms enveloped around your neck as he pulls you close by your waist. His lips rest on your hairline, just kissing forehead and rubbing your back, comforting you.

He slowly pulls away, and holds your face in his hands, no words needed to be spoken, you already know what he is asking, 'baby what did you do?'

You whimper and softly look down to your arms, not uttering a single syllable, seeing the beads of bloodseep into the sleeves of your t-shirt.

Bokuto gulps and looks into your eyes and then back at the sleeves. He held the fabric genty with his thumb and index finger, "I am gonna roll it up." He says and gently rolls it, careful not to hurt you. His throat turns dry and a broken gasp leaves his his mouth.

"Baby..." he says softly as tears line in his eyes.

"Kou I'm so sorry-" you sob and groan. You had been fearing that this day would come soon.

"Its okay," he says and wipes his tears and hugs you again, tightly, "I promise you won't be pushed to the edge like this again, we'll figure something out, alright?"

"We'll talk to a therapist, we'll- we'll figure something out, alright? You are safe, I'll protect you, I promise," he says and kisses your forehead as he cries again.

"I care about you way too much, please don't do anything reckless," he says softly and cries on the nape of your neck, even if you are the one who needs comforting right now. You nod against his t-shrt, your head buried in his chest.

"But baby you gotta promise me to tell me whenever you are itching to do something like this, whenever you feel as if you need to let the bad thoughts out, somehow, you need t talk to me. Give me a call if I am not here, I'll drive to you hell even run to you, barefoot if I have to."

𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐘𝐎

Hinata felt like a fool to have believed you when you said the scars that lay on your lower-belly were cat-scratches.

He noticed them when your shirt rode up a little while you stretched. the thin scars actually did resemble cat scratches, so he didn't think much of it.

Hinata was finally concerned when witnessed how you hissed when he wrapped his arms around your waist when you were doing something, or how you pushed him back a little when he poked your belly to get your attention.

For a long time he thought he had done something wrong, until he noticed how your smile was loosing its radiant glow that blinded a thousand suns, how your eyes seemed murky and grey instead of full-of verve...he knew something was very wrong.

"Did your cat scratch you again?" he asks suddenly and you are caught-off-guard.

"What cat?" you asked and he frowned.

"Love why do you have scars on your stomach then? Is someone bullying you? Hurting you?" he questioned softly, his eyes all observant and curious.

Your heartbreat fastened at the question, thumping widely against your ribs, "just nothing..." You said and internally groaned at your awkward reasoning.

"You know I am not letting you drop it, right? I care about you, even of it means that I am overbearing sometimes, I say all this out of concern, " he sighed, "I promise I won't judge you for anything." He says reassuringly, smiling with such glee that makes you tear up.

It felt as if you were cheating him, repressing your nature in front of him, but at the same time you wanted to conceal all of it. he was just too pure and you felt tainted...in the worst way possible, the irreversible way that can't be washed away like grime.

"Shoyo, I'm sorry," you whisper, "I-I hurt myself." You say as tears roll down your face.

"It got bad, I-I- relapsed, I tried to stop myself, I really did," you sob.

"You-you did this to yourself?" he asks bewildered, as if the concept of someone inflicting pain upon themselves is a foreign to him, "why?"

"It got bad Shoyo, my headspace wasn't exactly the best- I had stopped it a few years ago, took me all the effort, but I crumbled, I crumbled under the stress," you cry on his shoulder as he hugs you tightly, careful to not to touch the scars on your belly.

"I got you," he says as his lip trembles as he hugs you tightly,"I got you, I got you."

He breaks from the hug and looks at you, "promise me you won't hurt yourself- I'll figure something out, don't do this to yourself, you are so goddamn beautiful, don't hurt yourself like this." He hiccups and kisses your cheek.

"Are they new? Did you put rubbing alcohol on them? Bandage?" he asks, panicking a little.

You shake your head and he sighed, "I- sweetheart you should've cleaned them at least, they can cause an infection."

He sighs and asks you, "may- may I see them?" He questions softly and it makes your eyes widen, as you stare at him with shock.

"i promise I won't judge you, I gotta see them baby" he says softly and waits for you to roll up you t-shirt. He examines the scars on your lower belly, his heart breaking at the sight of how much you've hurt yourself, yet at the same time he is reluved that they don't see too recent, that means you didn't hurt yourself in the past few days.

He gently holds you by your waist and kisses your scars. A soft gasp escaped your mouth as he does this.

"Shouyo what are you doing?" you question, but he doesn' move, he just kisses your scars like its his lifeline, its ticklish but its so intimate that it makes you tear-up again.

"So frickin' strong," he mumbles against your skin, "I love you so much, I swear you are the most perfect person in this entire world. Your scars only make you look cooler."

He sighs and looks up at you, "but honey, you gotta promise you won't hurt yourself anymore, scars are cool, they tell your story, but I hate seeing you hurt yourself like this."

You nod hesitantly, "I'll try."

He smiles and rests his head on your skin, it doesn't matter to him, if there is a little trail of hair on it, or the scars littlering its expanse like constellations, he just loves you that much.

- HAIKYU!! - Fanfictions

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loopdeloop · 3 months

Text

I was... Oddly disappointed by the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel season one?

More under the cut. MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING.

Why is Vaggie of all characters saying that she didn't know they could get hurt / die? Lute literally gouged out her eye and cut off her wings. As a matter of fact, Lute, Adam, Vaggie, and the Overlords all knew that angels could be hurt / killed because there was a dead angel from the last extermination. It's like major plot points were completely forgotten, and you're telling me no angel ever got hurt in training?

Vaggie just... Regrows her wings? Somehow? Because love?

Carmilla willingly gives angelic weapons, seemingly very controlled and rare to have, to countless random sinners which immediately makes them no longer rare or controlled. I feel that takes away a bit of the weight behind them. Also, how did she have so many? (That's less of an issue and more of a nitpick to be fair.)

During the whole preparation bit Charlie literally goes to a town of random ass sinners for help rather than contact her father, the literal King of Hell and supremely powerful being that she knows from the last time they spoke would do anything to protect her. As far as we know she doesn't even tell him about how her talk with Heaven went, or mention that they threatened her and her hotel specifically. Why not?

Razzle and Dazzle exist to protect Charlie and they don't transform until the middle of the fight. On top of that, Charlie wasn't even using all of her strength in a life or death battle and we were never given a reason for it so it makes it appear like they had to nerf her simply for the plot, immediately making the fight seem much lower stakes.

Razzle or Dazzle fucking dies and it's not mentioned. Or at the very least it appears like they do.

Vaggie spares Lute and I question why. She knows that they will kill her and her friends / lover so why would she spare her?

Alastor goes missing and no one mentions it or seems to care past a fleeting moment when Charlie realizes that Adam isn't being distracted anymore.

While Pentious getting basically blinked out existence was probably trying to be funny, it just seemed out of place? I understand it's a comedy but it seemed like a serious, weighty, emotional moment and it took all of that away, at least for me, for a cheap joke.

Lucifer spared Adam because Charlie asked him to. Again, why? Like I know Charlie is idealistic but she went into that fight knowing they were going to kill angels, so why would she spare the jackass ringleader dead set on killing her and her friends?

Adam died to Nifty. I don't... I don't know. The buildup seemed so much more than that, but it was just another joke.

The fact that the most genuine emotion in the whole episode came from Lute when Adam died and he gave her a sort of smile before passing away. Genuinely loved that but the fact that I cared more about Adam dying than Sir Pentious (fyi I love Sir Pentious and was rooting for Adam to die) just shows that the other emotion heavy scenes were not handled well and that's a damn shame.

-+-

I liked Charlie's weapon, I thought it was very fitting.

Alright so the good. Um, I liked when Lucifer came to the fight and the banter between him and Adam as he basically danced circles around him.

Alastor's fight with Adam was well done.

I like that Pentious ascended to Heaven and we didn't lose him entirely and I am very interested to know what that means for the rest of the series.

Alastor freaking the fuck out over the fact that he nearly died was golden honestly. Some people are seeing his rant where he says that "Alastor Altruistic died for his friends" (or something similar) as evidence that he views those in the hotel as his friends but I don't think that's the case. I believe he was speaking from the point of view of an outsider looking in and what they would see his death as, and that disgusted him because he thinks it would make him look weak and that's not what really happened. I completely believe he's reaching the end of his rope when it comes to following the order of whoever is pulling on his leash and that was the most honest insight into his character we've seen yet. I truly enjoyed that.

-+-

I dunno maybe I'm just reading too much into the series or thinking it's going for a different tone then what it's actually going for, and I really wanted to like these last episodes, but they just didn't do it for me. I'm still really looking forward to next season though, and I hope it'll be great!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel critical

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this-is-krikkit · 14 days

Note

Hii! If you're taking prompts then can you plz do some levihan on this:

'I've been born in the wrong timeline and the wrong gender!'

'And you realized that after sixteen years?'

hello! you're the first anon i don't feel i have to apologize to for taking too long to reply to a prompt lmao, hope you'll enjoy this!

of swords and crushes (1.4k words)

tags: levihan, modern AU (coffee shop AU if you squint), game of thrones references but you don't need to be a big fan to get em, GOT-typical violence mentioned

divider source

“I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong timeline and the wrong sex!” Hange exclaims, trading their branded apron for their civilian coat and giving a last minute check to the coffee shop for any obvious task they might have forgotten.

Levi clicks his tongue at them, not for the first time that day, and gestures for them to leave out the front door with him.

“And you only realized that after sixteen years, while watching a blockbuster series about sword fights and magic?”

“Yes! No? I don’t know, I just know I want to be a knight!” they whine, using the tone they know their coworker can hardly stand.

“You want to be a knight, or you want to do one of them?”

“Levi! How dare you put your dirty thoughts into my pure and innocent mind!”

“I may not watch that shit show myself, shitty glasses, but I’ve seen enough screen caps and memes to know no one innocent watches it. Not with those casting choices anyway.”

Hange’s glasses reflect the setting sun and hide their eyes even as they grin devilishly at him, and he groans at his own slip up.

“Oh, you’ve seen enough screen caps to have an opinion then? Tell me, which one strikes your fancy, Neat Freak? The sadist bastard who tortures people into becoming his slaves, or the annoyingly rich golden boy who had three kids with his own sister?”

He just stares at them for a minute, then shakes his head as he locks the front door.

“I swear this show gets worse every time I hear about it,” he mumbles under his breath. “Either way, the one I like best has green eyes, and I think his father was in Lord of The Rings or something?”

“Oh… You mean, Robb Stark?”

Levi glares their way, because how the fuck would he know, again? But Hange, as always immune to his stink eye, just pulls their phone out and hands it over after a quick search.

“Here, is that him? Oh my God, you’re blushing, it’s totally him!” they squeal before Levi can even confirm it with words.

“Shut up and help me pull this down,” he requests, gesturing to the iron shutter they have to secure before leaving. “He is cute,” he still feels the need to argue defensively as Hange complies.

They chuckle and bump their shoulder to his when they squat down to help him with the heavy padlock that secures the system in place.

“He is,” they agree with a reassuring smile, before letting a sigh out. “Shame that he dies in season three though.”

“What? I thought he was, like, the main character!”

“Well, he is, until, you know... he gets his throat slit at his cousin’s wedding, right after he sees his pregnant wife getting stabbed straight into her belly.”

Levi picks up his jaw from the floor and turns to face his coworker, waiting to see if there’s any chance they could be trying to pull one on him —they don’t usually have a strong enough poker face to actually trick him, but they’ve surprised him before in the year they’ve been sharing shifts on this shitty part time job.

“She dies too, of course! Along with everyone who was with them then,” Hange adds right away, like that’s somehow reassuring.

“Why the fuck do you watch this shit, Four Eyes?” he asks, genuinely confused about it all.

“Ah, sorry, I know you’re weird about this stuff. We can talk about something else if you want,” they offer with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of their neck in discomfort.

“I’m not weird about it,” Levi corrects, dismissing their concern with a wave of his hand, “and it’s fine to discuss. I just don’t like violence for the sake of violence, or for shock value. Feels lazy to me.”

“That’s not all there is to it!”

He gives them a pointed glance, and Hange has the decency to blush a little.

“Okay, it’s probably a big part of it… But the plot does justify it most of the time so far, and some characters are really interesting and fun to try to figure out, I think you’d enjoy it! Besides, the fighting scenes are so badass, Levi!”

They launch into a mock choreography of what he can only assume is one of those scenes, and Levi doesn’t bother holding back a chuckle as he walks alongside them. He ignores the puzzled looks from people who pass them by, throwing a glare or two whenever someone dares to stare for too long with judging eyes.

“How do you have so much energy after the shift you just pulled on top of a day in class, for fuck's sake? I really feel like I’m the older one here sometimes.”

And alright, Levi does have another, early and demanding job to go to while other kids his age are in school, which might explain his own state of tiredness. But Hange truly is something else, stamina-wise.

“That’s because you’re an old soul, Levi, whereas I’m brand new and enthusiastic about what the world has to offer! And about swords!”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you sign up to fencing lessons and get it out of your system for good?”

“Sure, let me give up this side job I only took for the fun of it, ask my imaginary butler to fetch my thousand dollars allowance from my billionaire parents and I’ll do just that!”

He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his smile from stretching too wide, even though he knows Hange will be able to tell they got him with that one anyway.

“Point taken,” he gives in.

The walk back to their subway station is silent, a little less comfortable than usual when they’re both painfully aware that Hange’s now thinking about their own financial issues —the unfortunate reason they even took this job and met Levi in the first place.

He looks around the industrial neighborhood they’re walking, and spots two long rusty metal pipes hanging out from a bin nearby. In a fit of renewed energy he didn’t suspect he could have, he rushes over there, grabs them —heavier than they look, but he knows they can both handle it— and throws one at Hange’s feet.

“Here you go, Sir Hange Zoë,” he declares, feeling absolutely ridiculous as he stands in what he hopes looks like a sword fighting position —he sure hopes Hange will give him a break, it’s not like he has a wide frame of reference for this. “Fight me.”

They chortle, the sound immediately brightening the mood —and Levi’s day.

“You don’t have to do this, Levi. You were right, it’s kind of childish.”

He frowns and charges, hitting their shin lightly with his shabby weapon. Hange’s eyebrows shoot up on their forehead, and he can tell they’re slowly giving in.

“Levi! You can’t attack a defenseless maiden, that’s not gentleman-y at all!”

“You’re not a maiden, dumbass. And who said I’m a gentleman?”

Next time he lunges, they block the blow thanks to their own pipe and send him stumbling back —with a force that would surprise anyone else considering how lanky they look in their baggy clothes, and a fire in their eyes that would no doubt freak them out too. Levi, however, has known for months now that the tall nerdy weirdo look is only a mask hiding a fierce, passionate kid who might just be the strongest person he’s ever met —in more ways than one.

Sadly, they’re also much more —how did they put it again? Oh, right— enthusiastic about the whole fighting thing than he’d foreseen, and he soon finds himself having an actual hard time holding them off. One of their well placed hits shatters the pipe he was holding in his hold, and he thanks his lucky star that the combat has to end as he puts both hands up.

“Alright, I yield! You’re right, Four Eyes, you would have made a great knight.”

“Thank you!” they reply with a wink and a graceless curtsy.

Hange throws their pipe back into the trash can, before holding out their hand to ask for the some of the hand gel Levi’s already rubbing on his palms. He throws them a disapproving look, more for show than anything else, and gives them some —really, he’s kind of excited that they’re finally getting some of his neat freak habits, as they always call them.

“So, I won, right?” they ask him when they start walking again.

“Tch, I guess you did,” he grants them, not up to point out how questionable that statement is when really, breaking your opponent’s weapon has to be against the rules, right?

“Then my prize is... that you have to watch the next season with me!”

He spends the rest of the walk and the three subway stations they share trying to get out of that commitment.

(He fails.)

#levihan fanfiction #levihan #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #aot fanfiction #attack on titan #anon asks #asks #my stuff #do i need to tag this as got spoilers??#it's been a solid decade so let's not mmkay #not on ao3

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ynmnrmt · 4 months

Text

You & Me & Rhea Makes Three

rhea ripley x m!reader x m!reader's girlfriend

word count: 4,471

warnings: explicit sexual content, themes of domination/submission, intoxication, dubiously consensual nonmonogamy

a/n: There's more chapters if you like this. What is 'wrestling', anyway?

You are on the couch with your girlfriend Jennifer. It has reached that special time of the evening when the lights being down this low makes sense, and you have just opened a second bottle of wine. Jen drains her glass, nearly hiccups, then fixes you with her big blue eyes and asks “Could we make love tonight?”

“Of course,” you say brightly, and feed her a chocolate from the heart-shaped box that lies open on the table. As she closes her mouth around it, her lips take hold of the tips of your fingers, and for a moment do not give them back. Then she feeds you a chocolate, and you grimace at the flaky taste of coconut inside but try not to let it show, this is not the moment for that.

“It’s been so long,” she complains, “I know it’s not your fault, but all those trips away – and, alright, this isn’t my fault either, but I’ve had all those night shifts, so whenever we do get a moment together and I’m actually awake I wish I wasn’t.” She tails off, and reaches for her glass again. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry it’s taken so long to just have a moment like this.”

“You,” you say, taking her little hand in yours, “have nothing to be sorry about. Come here.” You lean forward, and she leans in too, and when you kiss it does feel somehow unfamiliar, maybe she has a point. For a moment you break apart – then go back in, hungrier than before, the burst of oxygen fuelling the fire. She grabs for your arms and shoulders, takes hold of you, reluctant to let you go, and it makes your underwear feel tight and swampy.

As she mouths as your face, you hold her too, of course you do, one hand on her back to pull her in closer and the other on her hip. And before you know it the hand on her hip strays upwards, it slips its way in under her shirt and along her flat tummy, when you grasp the material of her bra she giggles.

“Let’s,” she slurs, all flushed with affection and wine, “turn things up a bit.” She clumsily pulls at her shirt, it comes up over her head no problem but then she is stuck with her arms tangled in the air, and you have to tug it free from the points of tension where it resists. Then it comes off, flies off to one side to be forgotten, and Jennifer sits pleased before you, panting for breath already and bare from the waist up except for the purple bands of her bra.

“You’re making me so-” you say. But then the door opens and your roommate, WWE superstar Rhea Ripley, comes in at a rush. It’s a small door, she has to turn to get through it, and then she slams it shut again after her and flashes you a wicked grin.

“I won,” she whispers, and gives the championship belt that hangs from her shoulder a little waggle.

“You did?” says Jennifer, delighted.

“Brilliant, that’s brilliant! Well done!” you tell Rhea as she throws out her magnificent arms and wiggles her shoulders, exulting in her own glory. It’s a shame to be distracted when you’re about to have sex, but you can still be polite. Rhea steps neatly around the room with her face lit up with joy, still celebrating, she poses for an audience of two and in her black leather bodice that has every inch of the muscles in her arms on show she hardly looks any more dressed than Jennifer. Then in one careful movement she throws herself in the air – and lands with a crash on the couch, between you.

Now you and Jennifer are both in her arms, an arm each, she has you secured in the kind of headlock she probably does professionally all the time and kisses you both with some force on the side of your heads. You shift about awkwardly in her grip, trying not to let her see how turned on you are.

“You must be so pleased,” gushes Jennifer.

“Yeah, I know how hard you’ve worked-” you’re saying, when Rhea finishes punching the air with glee and lands one hand down in your lap, and you jerk to a halt when she touches your erection, not just a touch, the full span of her hand across it.

“Oh my God!” exclaims Rhea – and only then snatches her hand back. “Oh my God, you two were getting sexy and – did I walk right in on you? Oh God, I’m sorry.” Rhea’s back on her feet, and it breaks your heart a little to see the happiness that beamed from her long, lovely face replaced by sudden concern. Somehow the dark makeup around her eyes makes it seem more sincere. “I didn’t even realise. Oh, and you’ve got the chocolates and the candles and everything. Hey, look, ignore me, alright? Pretend I’m not here, I’ll leave you to it.”

“No, come on, you ought to celebrate-” insists Jennifer.

“No, really, it’s fine. I don’t want to get in your way,” says Rhea. As she’s wearing tight PVC shorts, it’s hard for you not to look at the swell of her ass as she crosses the room. But then, framed in the doorway, she regains her fully-costumed majesty when she turns to look back at you and asks “Could I get a chocolate?”

You expect Rhea to just reach in the box and take one, but then Jennifer’s picked up the box – and out of this confusion Rhea drops to her knees in front of you and opens her mouth like a baby bird, and you can’t not then pick out a chocolate, one of the ones with the darker drizzle on top, and slot it in her mouth. Her lips close around your last finger just like Jennifer’s did, and for a second she sucks down the length of it, your hard-on nearly pulls a muscle. Oblivious, Rhea kneels there, chocolate in her cheek, look of satisfaction back on her face.

“We, uh, we might go off to bed – you can have the room,” says Jennifer.

Rhea lifts her eyebrows, and swallows. “No, no, it’s all yours, don’t let me stop you. I mean, I know how you feel, after a match like that I’m in the mood for a good lay.” She smacks her lips at Jennifer, and as if in trance Jennifer feeds her a chocolate too. You want to say something, because when will this kind of opportunity possibly come along again, but you cannot possibly imagine the words for it. “But maybe, you’d like to make this a bit more of a party. I’ve got champagne in the fridge, we can see what happens.”

“This was meant to be our special night,” insists Jennifer, slightly wounded, but then she glances at you and adds “but, it could be fun?”

“Yes,” you say, throat dry, “maybe it would.” Rhea is back on her feet and out of the room, you hear her rattle about in the kitchen. “Why do you have champagne, Rhea?”

“I mean, I knew how it was going to go tonight,” her voice floats through. She comes back with the bottle, shredding the foil over the cork. “Let’s go-” and she rips the cork out, too, then with the practised thumb of a woman who’s done this a lot spritzes you with the spray of foam. It catches you off-guard, it soaks your shirt and makes you laugh out loud. Rhea swings the bottle about, the stream of bubbles blast Jennifer squarely in the face – then, as she splutters, Rhea douses her own chest, as if to cool herself down. With her head back and her eyes closed and a little smile playing on her dark lips she’s clearly enjoying it.

“Oh my God,” gapes Jennifer, liquid running down her cheeks, “you soaked the couch!” But when Rhea motions her over to get some, she springs right into action, and drains her wine to have an empty glass. You quickly do the same, not wanting to be left out. Then, standing together, your head and your erection wavering dazedly between these two wet women, you toast Rhea, clinking your glass against Jennifer’s, as well as the bottle in Rhea’s fist.

“Well, here’s to us,” you say, after a swig that feels like harder liquor.

“Jesus, this is tight,” says Rhea, and thumbs open the first buckle of her bodice with a climactic-sounding grunt of relief, to reveal the beginnings of her breasts. Jennifer clutches at you, but she looks at Rhea’s chest. “I’m so glad you guys were up for this and didn’t go eurgh or anything, you’re such a cute couple and I’ve really wanted this for...and of course, I knew you’d be into it.” You tense up, thinking she could somehow tell, even though the bulge in your pants makes it shamefully obvious just how into it you are – but her dark-lipped, knowing smile isn’t towards you, it’s towards Jennifer. “Can I tell him?” Rhea adds.

Jennifer flushes, suddenly worried. “D-do you have to?” she stutters.

“Oh, come on, we’re all friends – I walked in on your pretty girlfriend masturbating to me,” confesses Rhea, and Jennifer turns pale as if this hasn’t added an extra frisson.

“It wasn’t to you,” she protests. “I was doing it anyway, you walked in-”

“You didn’t stop,” gloats Rhea.

“I was – I was literally already coming at the moment you came in, and – I was thinking about you,” Jennifer insists, clutching at your arm.

“Hey, it’s alright,” you say, and clutch her back, stroke her, try to reassure.

“It was my fault anyway – I’m glad you didn’t think this was, like, a betrayal,” says Rhea, and now she’s stroking you, her hand curls on your back. “Please don’t be angry with her, if you’re angry with anyone it should be me.”

“Alright, I’m not.”

“I’m so glad,” says Jennifer, all breathless, and then Rhea kisses you both again – hard, on the mouth, when she bites your lip you yelp and pull away to see her looking distinctly predatory and unbearably sexy. With hardly a motion she throws you both back onto the couch, and again slams down on it herself, on top of you, hips rolling and grinding as if she’s fucking you already.

Rhea reaches down and pulls, hard, with both hands, the cords swell in her arms and you dance on the edge of coming. You hear the rip, for one crazy second you figure it must be your flesh tearing but there is no pain, only your erection bobbing free in the air, she’s actually torn your trousers open. Then, with a bit of awkward repositioning, she’s opened up the zip of her short-shorts, grabbed your cock, and with a wicked flash of her black-rimmed eyes worked it up inside her.

“That’s so hot-” begins Jennifer. Then Rhea’s solid arm shoots out to cover Jennifer’s mouth, leaving her making the kind of muffled little moans you feel rise in your chest. She reaches desperately for you, her hands flop over you while Rhea’s cunt takes hold of you and refuses to let you go.

Desperately trying not to come, you reach up Rhea’s muscular back, maybe you’d meant to grab her but it’s more like you’re holding on for dear life. And you try to thrust, too, as best you can with her magnificent body pressed down on you, but it feels like nothing compared to the way she moves, she arcs back and forth, hard and fast like a machine but warmer and softer than any machine could ever be. As you cling to her, her undercut scrapes your face, and in the moment that nearly knocks you over the edge.

With each slam of her hips the studs on her bodice bruise your chest, and each one feels like a kiss. But not nearly so much as it does when she gets one hand on the back of your head, so you cannot escape – as if you would – and bites your lip again. You whimper, but it’s through a twisted smile.

Rhea’s movements become more frantic, more jarring and less controlled. Something shifts in her face, not the smug grin of victory any more but her mouth hanging open in amazement, she was wet already but now she feels like a typhoon around your cock. With one final jolt of the hips she freezes, throws her head back and cries out and soaks you. Jennifer watches it all with big liquid eyes.

With the orgasm out, sexual release pouring off her like steam, Rhea collapses forward on top of you. Your lip is swollen, it may be bleeding, the pain might be the only think stopping you immediately coming inside her. Now she’s taking a break you thrust again, you jerk your hips as best you can in the limited space between the cushions of the couch and her powerful body, it feels like an empty gesture but she perks up and goes “Oh!” as you do your best to give it back to her. With this encouragement she gets right back into action, pounding down on your hips, her zipper rakes at some sensitive areas but it barely registers next to the way her cunt squeezes you, as if when she draws back she wants to bring you with her.

Your thrusts synchronise, you move together, though you feel more like you are clinging to her sculpted waist and trying not to be flung off while she does the work. But if it is one-sided, she clearly doesn’t mind, her dark lips still curled in that knowing grin, her eyes still flashing out from the hollows of her makeup with lust and joy. And when her black painted mouth opens it produces the kind of low moans that pull at your heart.

Jennifer whimpers next to you. By way of keeping her involved you reach out to touch her, you want to convey some of this supremely erotic encounter over to her, instead you squeeze her breast. All the while you feel as if you’re going to knock a hole in Rhea’s insides, but she clearly doesn’t mind, she bows her head and nips at your ear, you hear her hot breath loud and lustful.

Then it is you who gives a feeble little moan when the endless slick motion pushes you over the edge, and you pump out what feels like a gallon of come. Rhea gives a few more agonising, beautiful shoves of her hips before she tumbles happily off you and lands roughly on top of Jennifer.

“That was so good,” sighs Rhea, and nuzzles at Jennifer’s cheek.

“Yeah,” says Jennifer, breathless herself even though she was hardly involved. She still has the mark of Rhea’s black lipstick at an angle across her mouth. “That was really hot. I’d never even thought…” As if drawn by a magnet you flop down on top of them as well, and reach your head past Rhea’s to kiss your girlfriend. But Rhea is still there, and it is so easy for her to horn her way in, and soon you do not know who you’re kissing or why.

Then Rhea swishes to her feet and breaks you and Jennifer apart. She plants one big chunky boot on the couch, between you, and says “Unzip me.” Jennifer swallows down the rest of her glass of wine in a second, and wastes no time taking the zip between thumb and forefinger – but works it down slowly, her other hand behind Rhea’s calf as if she’s afraid of losing her grip. For a moment you feel displaced, there is no unzipping for you, but then Rhea catches your eye, and plucks at the buckles of her bodice, and immediately you rise to join her.

It is a fumbly experience, not because the buckles are hard to negotiate, but because your hands are shaking, you are still incredibly turned on and feeling the soft strength of Rhea’s chest under the black leather doesn’t help. When you get the garment open she sighs, long and low, like she can finally breathe properly and stretches in a way that sends her breasts up into your face.

“I hadn’t realised,” you say dumbly, dazed at the sight of her bare skin, “you were interested in anything like this.”

“I was worried you might not be,” she says, casual and lighthearted, half a giggle to the words as she stretches her powerful arms back and forth over her head. Then she sets them back, and allows you to pull her bodice off completely. You gaze dreamlike at how she tapers down from her broad shoulders to her tight waist, on some level jealous of her, unable to imagine anyone wouldn’t want to look the way she does.

Down by your hip, Jennifer still fumbles desperately at Rhea’s boot, and very nearly has it open down to the ankle. You kneel to help her, with a little tug the boot comes off, and Rhea wiggles her toes at you – then she tries to put her foot down, and nearly overbalances from the extra two inches she has from the other boot. You and Jennifer shoot upright with no conferring to make sure she doesn’t fall, and gently cradle her in your many arms, sit her carefully down, and in businesslike fashion get that remaining boot off, for her own safety’s sake.

“Aren’t you sweet,” smiles Rhea. She refills your glasses, puts them back in your hands. Jennifer sips nervously and loudly, she shakes even worse than you do. “I liked it when he gave you a honk,” she muses to Jennifer, and then drops a hand down on Jennifer’s breast to give it a little squeeze, just the way you did. “You know, a quick honk?” Jennifer giggles when she keeps going, nervous laughs around her glass. In what you bizarrely think of as some kind of retaliation then you reach out for Rhea’s nearest breast, you’re even rough when you grab it, she just looks back at you and flashes her winningest smile. She snakes one beefy arm around you and squeezes you right back.

Jennifer shuffles forward on the couch, sitting right on the edge. Her glass clacks down on the table and she nervously proposes “Um, could it be my turn next?” Her eyes, dazed with lust, focus on you and she smiles with nothing but hope.

Rhea leans forward, she does not completely block Jennifer from your view, but she is there. “Oh, sweetie...you’re drunk,” she says, as if explaining two plus two, while she curls a finger and tickles Jennifer gently under her chin. “I wouldn’t want you to do anything you might regret.”

“Oh!” replies Jennifer, suddenly short of breath, but not angry about it, rather as if she immediately sees the sense in what Rhea says. Her head bobs, following Rhea’s finger.

“I would never want to see you get hurt like that,” continues Rhea, as she refills Jennifer’s glass again. “Not that he would, I’m sure he wouldn’t dream of doing anything like that.” A warm glance to you, a stroke of your face, and then she’s put the glass to Jennifer’s lips and actually tilts her head back to send half the contents straight down her throat.

“You’re so considerate,” says Jennifer, all the syllables just about in the right order, then she licks her lips.

“Is – look, is this alright?” you advance, you’re trying to be authoritative and decisive except you’re also genuinely unsure.

“I hope so,” says Rhea, brightly. “I did worry about how this might come across from the outside, that it might look like an established couple taking advantage of their vulnerable single roommate.”

“We should keep this secret,” insists Jennifer, she grabs your arm – and puts your hand in Rhea’s. “A secret, special thing that’s just for us.” And her obvious enthusiasm, drunk though she may be, does make you feel a little less torn.

“I really don’t think we could take advantage of you,” you tell Rhea, and grasp her bulky, lovely arm to underline the point.

“Well,” her voice turns low and sultry, and she leans in close, “let’s pretend you could.” And then she sways back, lying down on Jennifer again which prompts a squeak, and she pulls Jennifer’s legs out under her arms to lie between them.

Part of you wants to protest, to say you’re not ready. But you are - seeing the woman you love most in the world encouraging you to go with the Amazon goddess who’s crept around your thoughts for so long, how could you not be? So you crawl on top of her and mount her, it seems somehow absurd to call it mounting her when you feel about half her size. You rub the end of your cock against her pussy, feeling the sloppy mix of wetness from last time, which hardly feels thirty seconds ago.

But you’re rock-hard again already, and you want it to be because of Jennifer, because of them both – but it’s not, it’s because of Rhea, like a classical sculpture beneath you except warm and breathing. Nothing in the world could make you not put it in her, as hard and fast as possible, strike blindly out for any spot that might make her feel half as good as she does to you, and when you go in she gasps and her face lights up.

You take her by the shoulders for greater leverage, you’re rough again, and it seems like nothing, like punching someone in a dream. The moans she makes, though, they’re from a different kind of dream altogether. You thrust like you have something to say, you catch Jennifer’s eye – I’m doing this for you! - and Rhea absorbs it all without complaint, but she pushes back, her heat, her wetness, oh God how she pushes back.

To start with it seems hard, the usual struggle of the second go-round, as if you have to fight yourself. But when Rhea has a full body-shiver of pleasure that you feel too, and Jennifer whimpers out “Keep fucking her, I want you to make her come” suddenly it’s not difficult at all. Any twinge or complaint from your body is just a distraction, and not much of a distraction, not at all compared to Rhea stretching out underneath you, and Jennifer underneath her.

With a lopsided lurch you realise that Jennifer’s wiggled herself around slightly, so that she can dry-hump the side of Rhea’s torso, you have mixed feelings about this but most prominent is the shard of electricity it sends between your heart and your dick. You drive yourself into Rhea with renewed energy and she cries out “Ah!”, the pleasure catches in her throat.

Jennifer’s eyes have turned completely liquid, dazed with desire. You crane out towards her and try to kiss her, if not her mouth then at least her chest, even her arm, any token affection to try vainly to show her she’s the important one here. But Rhea is in front of her, and is so much stronger, your tongue ends up in her mouth again and the sting of her teeth in your flesh feels better than any lesser kiss possibly could.

Now you’re pressed up against her, completely in her grasp, your bodies shifting and fading into each other. You see nothing but part of her shoulder, and even that’s kind of a thrill. You grasp and grapple at her, using your hands as best you can tangled up together like this, and manage to wriggle one down to get at her clitoris – yes, there it is, she yelps again and wraps her arms around you tight you might pop.

It’s just your hips you can still manage to move to keep fucking her, just the way Jennifer asked, you break a sweat and Rhea must feel your heart beating out of your chest, but you keep going, to stop now would take a minor miracle. You brush her clitoris again, not even managing to work it, only there next to it, but it’s enough, she opens her mouth and lets it all out in one low moan, the tension goes from all the stiff muscles of her torso – and she crosses her legs behind you in a last-ditch effort to bring you even closer. Barely able to move it breaks something in your mind and you come again, it’s not the explosion of the first time, it’s a relief to be done, you melt into a puddle on top of her.

Rhea gives you a shy peck on the cheek. “I want to do this forever,” she whispers, the flush in her cheeks obvious even too close. “I never want this to stop.” Then there’s some whimpering, and you realise the orgasm has short-circuited your mind to the point you forgot all about Jennifer.

You get up off Rhea, so she can get up off Jennifer, and you both help your girlfriend to her feet. She staggers, the look on her face could be one of distress, you open your arms and she halfway falls into them, then she says “Please touch me, I’m so fucking horny after that.” You glance at Rhea, immediately concerned you might go too far, but Rhea just smiles and inclines her head.

So you bring a hand down, the way you did with Rhea, to get at her softest parts – Jennifer rides your finger weightlessly for mere moments and in that time completely soaks it before she wails out a noise that really could be one of distress, as if she hadn’t meant to climax. She collapses forward again, this time she nearly takes you down with her. And you shoot another look at Rhea, worried this was all some test, but her look of delight is broader than ever, smug even, all you can see is the black jags of her makeup.

“Now let’s tuck her in,” she adds.

As you lie spooned in bed, Jennifer in your arms with her hair in your face, Rhea’s breath on the back of your neck, and entirely too hot, you wonder about the consequences of all this – what this means for your relationship, when the other shoe will drop. But the feel of Rhea’s hand on your belly, gentle, reassuring, just there, helps lighten the load. Very quietly, you lean forward a little and ask “Are you really okay with this?”

“Mm-hm,” mumbles Jennifer, with such enthusiasm you believe her instantly.

“Fuck yeah,” replies Rhea, and touches your neck with her lips.

#rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley x you #rpf #rhea ripley fanfiction #rhea ripley smut

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zkoh001 · 8 months

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All the ninjago kiddos! That I remembered, lol.

Also I'm not sure if Echo counts, but this is my art soooo... He does now

Fun fact, way before Dragons rising was an idea, I had a little theory/AU thingie, where the ninja got sent to another realm, where time passed differently. (How funny, it was way before SotFS...) So basically these kids formed a replacement ninja team to fight the evils treathening ninjago, discovering they themselves are elemental masters. And that's been in my brain, slowly adding all the new kiddos to it. Might make some art, and a post about that too, because I would love to draw them.

Here's my spitballing on these dummies and their designs.

The Darkleys kids!

The little shits. They would be the ones to have kidnapping as their first resolve.

- I kinda didn't know Sally existed, but I liked all the art, so she does now. Also, she loves pink, I love pink, we all love pink

- Brad is definitely the muscle of the group, with a big heart, but not the greatest mind. Also, he has a babyface, that's very hard to make look evil.

- His design kinda grew on me with time, but it still feels a bit lacking...

- There's this theory that Gene is Skylor's brother, and Chen's son, that I kinda absorbed into my brain and ran with it so yeah.

-Also, the hand thingie is not a glove, it helps hold his hand together after a nasty injury :)

- The bowlcut was uniform at Darkleys, but Gene was such a nightmare they just gave up with him.

- They have matching pins and earpieces. Cause of course they do. Also, dumbo boots uniform.

The Paperkids!

Antonia and Nelson are a given, and I just kinda added Unagami on there, since he waved at them once. Also, I think it would be cute if they were friends.

- I know he doesn't anymore, canonically, but I like to think he still wears his purple gi under the jumper. Who knows when someone will need the purple ninja?

- He has a scar from the injury he had when he met with the ninja. Also, am I the only one who tought something much worse was going on than a broken leg? Obviously a kid show can't have a terminally ill kid, but fsm that's still how I remembered it.

- Antonia! I loved drawing her hair. Also kinda like her badass big sis vibes.

- She has her hands out to make sure the two kids, but mainly Nelson, don't go missing somehow (happens more often than you think)

- Even if he can shapeshift, I like to tjink Unagami keeps his line-marks in whatever forms, since it's apart of his skin. He can hide them, but it takes effort, so he just doesn't bother.

- He can change his form generally, but you could still tell it's him by the lines, eyes, and hair

- He has a little nick in his eyebrow, and so does (did i guess) Jay. I just think that's a cute detail

The Forgotten ones...

Just called that cause I had to add them on a separate canvas after forgetting them. I forgot Skales Jr, shame on me, I tought Jake and Nelson were one character, and I was still debating Echo. But here they are!

- It was surprisingly not that hard to draw him, even tho I was very scared

- Since he has white on him, I was trying (and failing miserably) to replicate those partially albino reptiles. Also added some pink scales, since he is also Selma's son, who's pink.

- I don't know to this day why Echo was introduced only to be left behind.... Nevertheless he's a sweetheart

- I guess if you count Mr.E, but then he would be dead... Unless the kids fix him (lightbulb moment)

- Also, ahy is his head weirdly tiny? How did that happen?

- Jake. Goddamnit, how were you the hardest to draw? Somehow I couldn't get the head right...

- The giant pants is an idea that lived in my head. I like yo think he would be able to fix ancient artifacts with hairties, ductape, and sheer force of will.

- He might have a bowlcut, but cmon, are you telling me he wouldn't at least try to replicate whatever the hell Kai's hair was in the beginning?

I guess that's it folks, lemme know if any of you are interested in my weird Ninja kids au thingie!

#ninjago #ninjago sally #ninjago gene #ninjago brad #brad tudabone #ninjago nelson #lil' nelson #ninjago antonia #ninjago unagami #unagami #ninjago skales jr #skales jr #echo zane #ninjago echo #ninjago jake #ninjago kids #ninja kiddos!#I also have elemental powers and colors assigned to most of them!

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commander-erwin-smith · 11 months

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Spoilers under the cut for those that haven’t watched season 2 of Sweet Tooth yet. I'm super late making this post because of unfortunate life events but here we go.

Season 2 was really good. I managed to have the energy to watch it upon release and it didn’t take me long to get through. I ended up finishing it only a few days into May.

It was nice to see Gus’s relationship with the other hybrids, though most of them that were there at the end of season 1 obviously were killed off and it’s odd that they forgot about all of them except for Roy. That was a shame. I can’t remember many of the surviving hybrid kids’ names, but the raccoon girl, Tommy Turtle, the bird girl, and the owl (?) girl are my favorites.

I was disappointed that Johnny was killed and I was hoping that General Abbot missed his shot and didn’t hit something vital. I was expecting Johnny to be found and actually help them against Abbot and be the one to kill him. Am I the only one who started shipping Johnny with Rani? I think they would have been a cute couple because it seemed like they maybe were starting to like one another as both he and Adi started going through their own mindset change. I wish Johnny and Rani would have ended up together.

I also started shipping Aimee with Jepperd. I was surprised that they killed her off. I was a bit disappointed, but it makes sense because her role will be Bear's now to fulfill. I was hoping that Aimee would have ended up with Jepperd, but I had a theory that the one Last Men guy lied to him about his family being dead and gave him some random people's bones and that his family was somehow still alive. I figured that Jepperd would find them alive again next season or a later season (which would be more likely), but then Netflix confirmed that Sweet Tooth was canceled after season 3 which sucks because the comics were apparently much longer and they could have made the series longer. Now I feel like Birdie and Jepperd will end up together perhaps.

Bear and Wendy's reunion was very nice. She'll do anything for her sister. Now she has the rest of the hybrids to protect and it will be interesting to see how their life unfolds with Bear. They've all been through so much and deserve happiness.

This brings me next to the Animal Army. I wish they could have gotten more screen time after Tiger had them betray Bear. They were an important organization and deserved more time to shine before they got killed off this season. I was happy that Tiger and Bear were reunited and that she could get her little redemption arc. Tiger died doing the right thing and was able to warn Bear that the Last Men were coming. I wish she could have lived longer.

Also, that teen boy Bear met when she snuck into the Last Men. I've already forgotten his name. I wonder if he survived and if we will see him next season. I feel like he could have been an important piece this season. He could have been one that could have been brainwashed and come to realize that hybrids aren't the bad ones. He could have seen the light if he would have stuck around Bear. They both could have been important to each other's character. I also started shipping them too. I wonder if we will see him next season and if we will get a reunion between them.

Season 3 is going to have a lot of shoes to fill: Gus and Jepperd's journey to find Birdie, Birdie making the cure, whatever Adi will be up to, whatever Rani is up to now that she's off on her own, Bear and the hybrid kids, and the woman who will take over as the villain for season 3. I wonder how they will get everything done in around 12 episodes. Maybe they will make a few movies?? Who knows. I can't wait to see what happens. I enjoyed this series a lot and I don't want to see it end so soon. I'm such a sucker for found family elements.

#sweet tooth #sweet tooth spoilers #sweet tooth netflix #netflix sweet tooth #netflix's sweet tooth

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suc1d3-1z-th3-0nly-3sc4p3 · 2 months

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My current situation

Through the past few months my stage 3 spinal cancer has been worsening, about a month ago doctors informed me that a amputation of my left leg will needed to be performed in order to keep my chance up of surviving as my current percentage is around 20%-30% due to my addiction and stress levels.

In the past I have sincerely struggled with substance abuse, not only having easy access to drugs from my home city but also having the knowledge of how to access and at times even create my own substances within crossing to the United States. Being a cocaine addict for about 4 years now, I recently have started fetanayl a few months past as nothing was stopping my cancer from hurting or my spine from locking up. I also saw it as an escape from my life, from my stress, from my family, and even those who somehow managed to keep in touch online. Through this I lost several jobs as I am currently working 4 at once and also attending Grand Canyon University for another chance at an orchestra. It has been my dream as a child to be a violinist in an orchestra that tours the world. No longer am I able to achieve that dream is what I realize. I accept my decisions and understand my wrong doing, and do I preach to never make such decisions again as I will be working to become a better person.

I understand many people are upset about how I treated my boyfriend Elijah, so am I with myself. I ask for no amounts of sympathy or no amounts of respect. Though learning from this I will strive to get myself help.

Many people may know what’ve happened, though without telling the people that don’t know, my reason for becoming a prostitute was because my body is the only thing I have left to make some sort of profit off. My goal was to at least make $400,000 and achieve a loan from the bank to as well pay off my amputation cost. As I will die in about a year with my leg still on my body. I take fault of my actions, It was the wrong thing, I am learning from it. Though I thought it was the easy way out, it was not. I take complete responsibility for committing cheating actions on our relationship. From what I remember though, I had zero intention of committing to a relationship with the client I was servicing at the time. Though taking pride in my relationship, I understand it is all gone. I never meant to cheat, I never meant to do harm, I only wanted some way to help myself as I did through drugs. Now I realize, I am wronged, I should be shamed for it.

I wrote this as an explanation though also an apology to those who are against my situation and tell me to go die.

For I am sorry for my actions, as I will be taking a break from social media in order to fix what I have done. Though understanding, the mistakes will never be forgotten nor fixed.

Please consider donating, all donations are greatly appreciated and used well in my journey of recovery.

https://gofund.me/518b2b39

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throneofsapphics · 8 months

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i LOVE your angsty poly!rowaelin x reader fics

can i request more? i will gobble up anything you write not even kidding 💕

some questions are better left alone

Rowaelin x f!Reader

(part two) (part three)

Summary: He shoved a plate of sweets at me. “For both of our sakes,” he said carefully, “I’m going to pretend those words never came out of your mouth. Do you understand?”

Warnings: Angst, drinking, nightmares, small injury, rowan is mean

Word Count: ~5k

A/N: You are so sweet! I swear, angst is my love language. Reader is from a foreign court/country, has magic, and is able to mindspeak - I kept it a bit vague!

I scribbled the note, leaving it on my desk in my room. Going out. Not very descriptive, but I was in a rush, I’d forgotten what night it was, and I’d promised a friend I’d meet them - some bard was coming through.

My mates weren’t opposed to me having friends. They knew I did, I just kept them separated, tried to keep a life separate from the castle.

Maybe I should’ve left a better note, because a certain Wolf showed up halfway through. I caught a whiff of his scent - fresh too, and I knew he was in the damn tavern. But - I didn’t know if he’d come alone or come after me.

“I’ll be right back.” I leaned in, whispering to my friend, and keeping my voice low. I slid through the crowd with ease. I spotted him in a shadowy corner, leaning up against the wall. I dropped the glamor after I got within a few feet of him. His eyes glinted, a smirk crossing his face. He had come here after me, and waited for me to track him down. I let out a long breath, but stood next to him. His eyes were constantly scanning the crowd.

“Why are you here?” I kept my voice low enough that only he could hear me.

“Enjoying the songs, of course.” His voice was honeyed with false innocence, and I could tell he was messing with me.

“You missed the one about you.”

“Shame. Which one?”

I groaned. “I’m not playing into your ego.”

“Pity, maybe I should’ve let them see your note.”

“What’s wrong with my note?” My voice went taut. “And why were you in my rooms?”

“Two words.” He tutted.

“I was in a rush.” I hissed, then he handed me the paper. He took it. “You bastard.” I snarled.

“Calm your tits.” He laughed, “I left a better one - ‘taking Y/N out to have fun for once.’”

“Thank you.” I said, begrudgingly. He did save me some grief. A lot of grief now that I think about it.

“I am a bit hurt you left without me. Now, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” A shark-like grin appeared on his face.

“Are you going to play nice?” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Me? I’m always nice.” He scoffed. “Besides, I’m your best friend in this world. I have a right to know your other ones.” I rolled my eyes, even though the statement warmed my heart - just a bit.

“Alright. Best friend.” I teased, “Are you going to scare them off?”

“Do your mates know about them?”

“Yes.” I sighed.

“And who your mates are?”

“Indeed.” I fought back my annoyance.

“They’re not scared?” He raised his eyebrows. Any sane person would be intimidated by the Queen and King of Terrasen.

“I won’t let their majesties anywhere near them.” He chuckled, but I could tell he understood. I wasn’t ashamed of my friends, not by any means, but if either of my mates somehow thought they were a threat … it would make things very difficult. I pushed off the wall, and led him back through the crowd. I reached our booth, about halfway down the wall and with a good view of the stage, and dropped it. Instead of two benches, it was rounded, one long bench around a circular table. Cian, Isla, Effie, and Arran. To their credit, they only gaped for a few seconds, before shuffling around to make room for both of us. I scooched in, and let Fenrys sit next to me.

I gestured towards each of them, “Effie, Arran, Isla, Cian,” And then towards Fenrys. I was halfway tempted to introduce him as ‘pain in my ass,’ or ‘bastard’, but I went for something that would piss him off more. “Lord Moonbeam.” I bit my lip as he stomped on my foot.

“Please don’t call me that. It’s Fenrys.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Isla squeaked, her face bright red. The others echoed the sentiment, but thankfully not looking at him like he’s a God. I saw the way he was eyeing her,

Are you really going to bed my friends? I said in his mind, a bit louder than necessary.

Why would you deny them a good time?

I swear to the Gods Fenrys.

Calm your tits.

That’s twice you’ve mentioned my tits. Should Aelin be worried?

Don’t you dare. He growled, but didn’t use that phrase again.

It shouldn’t have been surprising that he got along well with them. He charmed them easily - none of the bitter bastard I’m used to. He and Isla, to my chagrin, got along very well. I didn’t move to interrupt or interfere, even though I wanted to keep them as far away from each other as possible. They could be cute together, but I had a feeling Fenrys was toying with her - flirting for fun. Maybe she was doing the same. I didn’t know her that well, after all, only meeting her a few weeks ago.

A few hours later, and after several drinking contests, I was feeling very tipsy. Maybe even drunk. Definitely drunk based on how the room spun. But, with a glamor firmly in place, I’d managed to drink a group of soldiers under the table. Where are they from? I have no idea. But every time one started to eye me in a more-than-friendly way, they seemed to pale, and look away very quickly. It took me a few times to figure out Fenrys was glaring daggers at them. I stomped on his foot.

“Leave them alone.” I whispered. He gave me an incredulous look. “They don’t deserve you looking like you’ll murder them.”

“You’re not doing anything.” He countered.

“I am ignoring them.” I emphasized. “And that works well enough.”

Effie returned, sliding a goblet across the table towards me. Fenrys snatched it before I could, and took a sip. He nearly spit it out, his face turning red, and shoved it back at me. “What is that?” He coughed.

“Apparently something too strong for your delicate sensibilities.” I took a large sip, enjoying the warmth it provided as the liquid burned, sliding down my throat.

He gaped at me - but I kept drinking it anyway.

“It’s a homemade liquor.” Effie replied instead. He grimaced, staring at my glass like it might jump out and attack him. “It grows on you.” She added, biting back a laugh at his expression.

I finished it, and stood to bring it back up to the bar, but swayed slightly on my feet. Before I could grip the table, Fenrys’s arm shot out to steady me.

“We’re going home.” He stood.

“You don’t get to make my decisions.”

Effie grabbed the glass from my hands. “It’s almost closing anyways.”

“Traitor.” I mumbled. The others had left ten minutes ago.

Effie lived above the bar - how we met in the first place. “Go home.” She ordered instead, giving Fenrys a look. One that said - get her home safe, like I needed a minder.

He only laughed and looped an arm through mine, half-dragging me out the door.

“You’re not nearly as drunk as me.” I complained, disentangling my arm once we’d left the building. I watched my feet carefully on the cobblestones.

“I didn’t beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest.”

“So that’s who they were.” I mumbled, and apparently wasn’t paying attention, because I walked right into a column.

“Fuck.” I muttered, stumbling backwards and pressing a hand against my face. My cheekbone will be bruised. Fenrys grabbed me under my arms before I could fall, and howled.

“Asshole.” I muttered, shaking off his grip. He looped his arm through mine, and didn’t let me wiggle out this time. Thankfully, we were almost to the gates and Fenrys quit singing. I tugged my hood up as we got closer to the castle. Nobody needs to know just how drunk I am.

“They’ll see you stumbling.” He drawled.

“They’ll know to mind their business.” I snipped back at him.

“Oooh. Someone’s not looking forward to seeing their mates.” He teased me, his voice a sing-song. I sent a vulgar gesture his way, and he just snorted, dragging me through the halls and depositing me at their door. I waited until he’d walked away before heading to my rooms instead, no sense in waking them up. Besides, on the nights I go out I usually sleep in my own rooms anyways, wanting to wash the alcohol off - and Aelin and Rowan need time alone. They don’t say it, but they were a couple long before me. Maybe I’m assuming things. I’m too drunk to think too much.

Normally Y/N stays in her rooms if she’s gone out, and they won’t argue or try to drag her into their rooms. If she needs space, they’ll let her have it.

But, tonight, Rowan had a feeling. A feeling he needed to be there. To see her. Like something might be wrong. He slipped out of bed, looking at the clock. Three hours past midnight. She should be back by now.

“Rowan?” Aelin mumbled sleepily, her eyes opening.

“I’m going to check on Y/N.”

Those turquoise eyes opened further. “I’ll come with you.” She yawned. He didn’t fight his wife as she climbed out of bed, grabbing a robe and wrapping it around herself. They moved quickly and silently, through the passage that connects both of their rooms.

He slowly pushed the door open. Asleep, sprawled out on her side, on the couch.

Safe - but a giant blue bruise blooming on her cheek. And absolutely reeking of alcohol. Did she get into some sort of brawl? He’d kill Fenrys. Slowly. Aelin placed a hand on his arm, but he could tell she was just as angry.

“Y/N.” A voice murmured, and I felt a hand running down my arm. A mumbled, some intelligible noise.

“Y/N. Wake up.” The voice, feminine, was more insistent. Aelin. Why was Aelin in here?.

Her eyes opened, glassy, pupils slightly dilated. Drunk. And very drunk. How fucking much did she drink? Y/N could almost drink Aelin under the table.

“Petal.” His mate's voice was low. “Did you get in a fight?”

“A what?” She was confused.

“Did you get in a rutting brawl?” I said from the door, not bothering to keep my voice low. Aelin turned and glared at me.

“What?”

My eyes narrowed. “Don’t play dumb.”

Her hand went up to her cheek, wincing, and she threw her head back in laughter, nearly howling. “I walked into a pillar.” She said in between laughs.”

Aelin was biting back a laugh, but I was just getting more pissed. Maybe it was a bit funny - but she was drunk enough she got herself hurt.

“Where was Fenrys?” My sharp tone had Aelin cutting a look at me. Don’t start.

“Caught me before I could hit the ground.” Her words slurred together.

“Come on.” Aelin tugged at her arm, pulling her up. “I’m not going to let you choke on your own vomit.”

She looked offended. “I am not throwing up.” The words came out very insistent. Aelin gave her a bemused smile, but pulled her up anyway, leading her towards her bathroom. “You reek.” She told her.

“That is rude.” Y/N stuck her tongue out.

I rolled my eyes, but followed them, grabbing a nightgown for Y/N to put on.

“What do I smell like?” She asked Aelin, stumbling next to her. Aelin’s arm wrapped around her waist holding her closely.

“Right now? Alcohol.”

Y/n let out an over dramatic sigh. “No, what’s my scent? You’re jasmine and lemon verbena, and he’s pine and snow.”

“Nutmeg and honey.” I answered from behind her, and her head turned, giving me a goofy smile.

“That’s nice.” She mumbled. I fought the smile threatening to form on my face.

Aelin was very sweet, helping me get in the tub, even washing me. I tried to stop her, but she cut me a glare. A nasty one. After that I let her.

“Who did you go see?” She asked, scrubbing my shoulders.

“Some Bard came into town.” I said, before sighing. Her touch feels incredible. “You have magic fingers.” I told her.

Her eyes crinkled, “and you’re drunk.”

“Maybe a bit. Fenrys told me I beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest.”

“The Bane?” Rowan’s voice came from the door. Low. And deadly low.

“That’s what he said.” I confirmed, looking at Aelin instead, who pressed her lips in a tight line. “What’s wrong with the bane?”

“They have a reputation.”

“I have a reputation.” I exclaimed.

“Excuse me?” Her voice grew a bit shrill.

“I drank half of them under the table.”

“Right.” She breathed out.

She thought Rowan was going to explode when he heard her say she has a reputation. He relaxed - barely. He needed something to do or he might blow up.

“Rowan get a towel.” I ordered without looking, and heard him moving around, before the soft fabric was pressed in my hands. “Help her out.”

“I don’t nee-” I pressed my finger to her lips. It’ll help him. I told her, speaking mind to mind.

Okay. Her sweet voice floated through my mind.

Even though anger rolled from him in waves, his hands were gentle as he lifted her out, holding her steady. I wordlessly handed him the towel, and gave him the chance to fuss, slipping a nightgown over her - one he’d already picked out. He went far enough to make her clean her mouth, and dried her hair for her. That brought a smile to my lips.

“Thank you.” She told him after, and me.

She tried to wobble off towards her bed, her legs shaky under her. I cut her off before she could reach the door. “You’re coming with us.”

“But it’s your-”

“No buts.” But … What was she going to say? Before ‘it’s your-’

“It’s our what?” Rowan asked for me.

She frowned. “Your night. For the two of you.”

I frowned, looking at Rowan. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.” When she’s more likely to remember it. He added to me.

“Nothing to talk about.” She mumbled, but let him pick her up, carrying her back to our room.

I groaned as the morning light hit me, streaming through the windows. My head started absolutely pounding. “Gods.” I groaned, pressing my palms into my eyes - like I might shove the headache away. A rough hand tugged one of mine away, pressing a glass vial into it. I peeked the free eye open, squinting to see Rowan.

“I’m surprised.” I murmured. A pain tonic. “Thank you.”

“We need to talk.” He grunted. “And I don’t want to deal with your whining.” Several months ago, I might’ve been hurt by the comment, but I was used to it by now, and ignored the second part, swigging the slightly vile liquid down. Fighting back the urge to make a face.

“One day I’ll figure out how to make those taste better.” I glared at the offending piece of glass. Rowan snatched it out of my hands.

“Lets go.” He jerked his head.

“Alright alright.” That’s when I felt the heat on my face. I looked across in the mirror. A large purple bruise bloomed across my feet. “What did I do?” My eyes were wide.

“You don’t remember?” He snorted, and left the room.

“Bastard.” I muttered under my breath, low enough he wouldn’t hear, and grabbed a robe before following him. “What did I do last night?” I repeated, walking into the sitting room and digging through my mind for what the hell might’ve happened.

He didn’t answer, pouring tea instead. “Where’s Aelin?” I tried.

“Training.” He said curtly.

“Rowan.” I said quietly. “What happened?” My memories cut off right before leaving the Tavern.

He shoved the cup in my hands, watching and waiting for me to take a sip. I did, and waited for him to respond.

“What do you remember?” He questioned, his voice was cold - usually meaning I’m about to be extensively lectured or punished for something.

“Up until leaving, with Fenrys.” He can almost always tell when I’m lying.

“You hurt yourself. Walking into a pillar.”

I sucked my lips in, fighting the urge to laugh. “Of course I did.” I choked out.

His eyes narrowed. “It’s not funny. What if Fenrys wasn’t with you?”

“I have other friends.” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Who we’ve never met.” His words came out flat. Emotionless.

“Would you like to meet them?” I said, feeling a bit on edge. “Do you not trust me to be a good judge of character?” That wasn’t exactly fair … but I didn’t and don’t need them to approve of my friends.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He growled. “Are you embarrassed by us? Do you not want them to know you’re with us?”

Cruel. He was playing dirty. “Of course not. They know” I kept my voice calm.

“Then why?”

“You never asked.” I countered. It’s true.

“You never asked to meet our friends, and we introduced you.”

My breaths got heavier. This wasn’t fair, that’s not the same thing. “When you introduced me, I was just a member of a foreign court, a delegate.”

He stalked up to me, standing so close that if I took a deep breath, my breasts would brush against him. “Was? Aren’t you still just a member of that court?” His voice was taunting, and cruel. Absolutely cruel. He meant for his words to hurt, and I could feel the slight satisfaction running through him when it did, but it was quickly pushed out by regret.

“Maybe I am, and maybe it’s time I go home for a bit.” Silver might’ve lined my eyes, but I hit right back. I turned sharply on my heel, walking silently towards my rooms, out the main door. I didn’t look back as I closed it softly, a slight click.

He didn’t follow, and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

I collapsed on my bed, my knees pressing into my elbows, my head held in my hands, trying to figure out what about last night set him off. Made him so angry he’d say those things. Not that I acted much better.

I wanted him to follow me. To tell me not to go - or to yell at me. Something. I paced for the better part of an hour, before deciding to go back. Porting off back home wouldn’t do anything, it would just make things worse.

I took the direct passage this time, hearing another door creak open at the same time as mine. Rowan looked directly at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be gone?” The same cruel tone as earlier. Maybe I imagined that regret. I couldn’t say anything, or my voice might’ve broken. I took a step back, closing the door.

I heard Aelin’s voice, “gone where?” But I’d already turned, heading back. “Rowan. What did you do?”

Is this what the rest of my life will be like? Cruel barbs, hurtful words from both sides. A traitorous thought ran through my mind, why couldn’t it just be Aelin? But I dismissed that immediately. I couldn’t imagine not having both of them, not having two mates. It would be wrong, it wouldn’t feel complete. But for them - they could imagine it, they’ve lived it, and likely were perfectly fine before I came along. The two of them fit. Balanced each other perfectly.

Am I some kind of wrench thrown in? A piece being forced into a puzzle, one that doesn’t quite fit? I’ve heard of mating bonds being rejected before. Ours is already sealed but … Even thinking about it brings a sharp pain in my chest. Gods they’re already a part of me, dug in so deep it would take something horrible and cataclysmic to drive me away from them.

I hadn’t told them I loved them. They hadn’t told me. A final barrier that hasn’t been crossed.

I sought out Fenrys around lunch, convincing him to come eat with me in my rooms. He seemed wary, considering this is definitely out-of-character for me.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, shoving a tart in his mouth.

“What were Rowan and Aelin like before me?”

He choked slightly, coughing into his hand, but finishing the food. I watched him intently. I needed to know. Had to know.

“Fine. They were fine, at least it seemed that way.” He stared back at me. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m an outsider.” I started. He gave me a look that said, no shit. “I don’t … I don’t know if I belong here.”

“I was an outsider.” Fenrys leaned back. “You know I’m from Doranelle. It was difficult at first, but I found my place.” He spit out the country’s name, like it was poison.

“You rejected Doranelle.”

“I did.” He nodded, his tone cautious, like he knew where I was headed.

“I don’t reject my home.”

“You can belong to more than one place.” He argued.

“But me being here is causing an issue.”

“Rowan and Aelin fought. Still fight sometimes. Does that mean they don’t belong together?” Fenrys is more perceptive than people give him credit for.

“They’re different.”

“How?” He sounded a bit exasperated.

“Because they share bonds together I never will.” That truth finally came out. “And if there was a situation they had to …” My voice broke.

He shoved a plate of sweets at me. “For both of our sakes,” he said carefully, “I’m going to pretend those words never came out of your mouth. Do you understand?”

I nodded. A warning - if those questions were brought up … the results that come out might cause irreparable damage. Sometimes those things are better left swallowed. At the same time, I want to know my place with them. We ate in silence for a few minutes before the door breezed open. Aelin, I’d know the jasmine and lemon verbena anywhere.

“Really?” She sighed, “Choosing that dog over me?”

“I wasn’t aware there was a choice.” She raised an eyebrow, but sat next to me, grabbing some sweets.

“You always have the best sweets.” She popped a truffle in her mouth, moaning.

“And you always raid my collection.”

“They’re bought on Crown gold.” She winked. Fenrys winced across from me, the action thankfully going unnoticed by Aelin, who had her eyes closed.

I didn’t reply, but drank some water instead, the chocolates suddenly seemed unappetizing. “I do keep them just for you.” I covered smoothly. She placed a grateful kiss on my cheek, before turning, throwing her legs over my lap and lounging on the couch. I absentmindedly rubbed circles into her calves.

“I heard you beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest. Aedion is ashamed. I’m quite proud.” She grinned.

“Are you complimenting someone else's drinking prowess?” Fenrys looked amused, leaning back and crossing an ankle over his knee.

“I’m giving credit where credit is due.”

“Very kind of you.” I kept a smile. A forced one, and kept rubbing circles into her legs. Where credit is due. Drinker, bed warmer, what else? Aelin seemed to notice the shift, because she kicked Fenrys out, he left with a tight glance between the two of us, but no complaints.

“What’s wrong with you?” She nudged my thigh with her toe.

I flinched slightly. “A bit homesick.” Close enough.

“Rowan told me about that.” I could see the bored expression on her face from the corner of my eyes. She’s keeping a tight lid on her emotions.

“I sometimes say things I regret.” Regretting something doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.

“We all do.” I could hear the same echo, doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.

Ask the damn question Y/N. I chided myself, I can’t put words into her mouth. “Did he mean it?” The words came out quickly.

“Isn’t that a question you should ask him?”

She has a point, so I countered with something I should ask her. “How do you feel about it? Both things.” Please don’t make me repeat them. I pleaded to her silently. She took some pity on me.

“I wouldn’t mind meeting your friends, but I understand we can be … intimidating. But I don’t know if you’re keeping them from us because of that, or if you’re scared we’ll drive one of them off.” I waited for her to continue. There wasn’t technically a question there. “Do you want to be a member of this court? Would that mean you’re choosing?”

Choosing. Right. Absolute loyalty - something I can’t promise. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“You’re our mate.” She said softly. “And you have your place here.”

“Are you telling me to know my place?” Maybe that wasn’t fair.

“I didn’t say that.” She said sharply. But you didn’t not say it. Gods I wanted to hear all of the things that weren’t said, but I wanted them to soothe me. I don’t want the truth right now. I want sweet things meant to make me feel better. I’d even take little lies over these tiny cracks I’m feeling. The faltering, the hesitation. “Are you having trouble adjusting?”

“Aelin it’s been nearly two years.”

“And we’re immortal.”

“I’ve found a life here.” We’re both skilled at non-answers. I still hadn’t looked at her, couldn’t meet her gaze. Around her, and him, my eyes tend to show everything. A wall I can’t seem to put up.

“Look at me.” Kind, but unyielding. I do.

Tears are threatening to flood down her face, I can see it. I can’t help but think maybe she’s being a bit oversensitive. I’ve seen her in her own court .. well, the one she doesn’t really claim. Tough love? Or soft?

“Was it better without me?”

Oh Gods I did not expect that. I moved fast, tugging her to straddle my lap. “Don’t ever say that.” My voice was harsh, my hand gripping her chin, making sure she looked directly at me. “Did we make you feel that way?”

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, I just noticed it was bloodied and bruised - like she’d been biting on it all day. “I don’t know how much of it is just in my head.” So we did make her feel like that, at least partially.

“We can’t reassure you or fix ridiculous notions if you don’t tell us.”

She laughed darkly, pushing my hand away from her face, and turning her head. “That’s part of the problem. They’re ridiculous to you.” I wrenched her head back to face me.

“Don’t look away from me.” I snarled, holding her even when she flinched. “They are ridiculous, even if you believe them. We weren’t better off without you. You’re a wonderful part of us, part of us we didn’t know was there. Just like we’re a part of you. You belong with us.” I emphasized. “Come to us when you feel this way. Let us fix it.”

“There isn’t anything to fix.” Her eyes kept steady on mine, although I could see her temptation to look away.

“Then tell me exactly what’s been running through your head.” She swallowed harshly. “You either know it’s wrong, or you’re scared to bring it up.” Her eyes gave it away. Both.

“Can we talk about this later?” She pleaded, breaking eye contact, her bottom lip quivering.

“Look at me.” I gritted my teeth, and she did. The vulnerability in her eyes made me sigh. “Promise you’ll actually talk about it.”

I watched her hesitate, but she did promise.

Falling asleep was uncomfortable. There was a tension drifting between the three of us, but I didn’t feel like talking about it yet, and they respected that. Barely, I could see both of them aching to have the conversation - to get it out of the way, but I needed time to gather my thoughts. A night to sleep on it.

Eventually we did drift off to sleep.

“Leave.” Rowan said harshly, his face set in a nasty look. One I’d only seen him give to people who were rude to Aelin or I. What did I do?

“Leave.” Aelin repeated his words with that same look. It was unnatural, it wasn’t them.

“But-”

“Now.” He growled, taking a menacing step towards me.

Another voice came from behind me. “I lied, they were better without you.” I whirled around. Fenrys. The look, they all had the same one.

“I can be better.” I stuttered through the words.

“You don’t get it.” Aelin laughed harshly. “We don’t want you.”

Rowan shoved me through the gates, just a bag in my hands. “Step foot in Terrasen again, and you’re dead.”

They slammed shut in front of me.

“No, no, no, no.” I whispered, tears running down my face, my entire body shaking.

“Y/N.” A disembodied voice said, repeatedly.

“It’s a dream.” My eyes flew open, I felt magic flooding around me. A hand rubbed my back. “Breathe, breathe darling.” Aelin’s voice, but I couldn’t see her. A dream, it was a nightmare.

I heard Rowan, his voice strained. “Bring your magic back in. Call it back to you.”

I did, and it came back joyfully, swirling against the shield of wind holding it in, with teasing pokes, before flying back into me, and the room was encased in moonlight.

“Gods, I’m sorry.” I sighed. “Please, don’t be. I’ve burned several bed sheets before.” Her voice was light, a smile on her face. “Besides, your magic isn’t scary, it’s quite beautiful actually.” I could feel her magic bubbling, wanting out to play, mine reacted in kind.

“Tomorrow.” Rowan said, and we turned in sync to glare at him. The serious look on his face remained, and Aelin huffed before tugging me into her arms - pointedly leaving him out.

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