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a-spes · 6 months

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T H E D O G ' S F A L L - One shot.

Words count - 5,2k.

Tags & Warnings - mob boss!Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader, angst, harm/comfort, manipulation, mentions of blood/past abuses, human trafficking.

Summary - Anyone that can beat her in a fight will earn her, and Natasha intends to be the one, working hard to get what she thinks is hers. A dog can't fight for eternity, can it?

Moodboard here.

N/A - It's the longest os I've wrote so far, took me a lot of time but it's enventually here so I really hope you'll enjoy it! If it's the case, don't hesitate to let me know by interacting with the post :)

It is at the back of that popular night club that everything is happening, where no one can see your distress except the one that enjoys it, where everyone is too busy having fun to pay attention to the veritable purpose of this building. On a dark corner that light never reaches, a man is guarding the most important secret of that place, and very few are the people he lets through; only rich and influential men and women get their ticket for this special spectacle that takes place here every night.

Down there, the loud music is replaced by the shouts of excited men that makes her sigh; why do they have to scream like animals? If she gets a few glances, no one dares to say anything as the infamous Black Widow is walking through the crowd to get to her place. She has blood on her back, people are whispering, some from admiration, others from fear, but no one stays indifferent - how could they? One of the most important mafia bosses of the city, but also one of the most discreet, is here. She has her reputation and, even if she is rarely seen, she is well-known, so none of the men dares to protest when she decides to take place in their lodge, chasing them out of the room.

From here, she has a perfect view of the cage and, most importantly, of the Dog.

It is obvious that there is no way out of the ring, that you are trapped in that cage until one of these men’s victory - or your last breath - but, somehow, you still believe that defeating them will lead you out of that basement. So, not caring about how many of them are daring to step in your cage, you beat them, one by one. You watch the man you just defeated being escorted out of the cage so the next one could take his place - it gives you a few seconds to catch your breath.

The world is spinning, you can’t even see the faces of your opponents, but you don’t give up. Even if the only thing you want is to curl up in the corner, crying for your mom, you can’t. You can’t because it will mean giving them your life. No, you need to be stronger than them, to pretend that you don’t feel the pain inflicted by their blows, to pretend that you are not bothered by the metallic taste of the blood in your mouth, they need to believe you could do that all night. But you are not foolish and you know damn well that you won’t last long.

It is hard to focus on anything, even on breathing, because you are overwhelmed by a crew you can't even see, blinded by the lights; you are the spectacle. They all came to see the Dog fighting, hoping to witness its fall. They are shouting, mostly insults in Russian, whistling and clapping everytime something exciting is happening during a fight, but it won’t be enough to save you from that place.

Oh, at first, they were cheering for you, but it slowly changed, people getting tired of seeing your pretty face every night. They thought you would be easy to break and hated to be proven wrong, and you perfectly know that the stakes have changed. It is no longer about giving them what they want, entertainment, it is purely about surviving and you noticed how the attitude of your opponents changed over the weeks, becoming more aggressive.

You were a champion, now you are just a little bitch they need to get rid of.

The organization that threw you in that rat hole understood that as much as you did and, tonight, they changed the rules. Tonight, it'll be only you against the world, until they are tired of it. No break, no help, everytime one leaves, the next one is already stepping in the ring, as an endless torture.

Tonight, she will be one of them. She has been looking at you hungrily since the first time she came here, and she knows that you will be hers by the end of the night, after all she came just for that, to take you home.

Even if she is here every night, you never had a chance to notice the woman. She was always sitting in the last row, observing you from her balcony, where she is hidden by the shadow, but she noticed you for sure. The time she came, it was only because of one of her associates that wanted to meet here specifically, she never left since. From the moment her eyes landed on you, she was unable to think about anything else, the way you were looking so innocent but so feroce at the same time got her heart.

She sent a few of her best men, knowing they would lose, as a test, waiting for the moment it would be her turn to enter the cage. She never expected them to win and she would have killed them if they had the audacity to: she is the one that is supposed to defeat you, the only one that has the right to own you. The urge to possess you only grew stronger over the weeks, being deeper every time she came here, she wants to see you as you are breaking under her effect, to control every aspect of your life.

So she patiently waited for the right time to come, she always liked a bit of challenge anyway, having a soft spot for things that are hard to get. She worked hard to get you, spending weeks observing every of your movements: she learned how you are fighting and your habits, she learned to read your body and face as if she was on your mind, and that’s the difference with the others: if you are a game for them, for her, you are a goal she must reach at all costs.

As soon as your eyes laid on her, you knew she wouldn’t back up, somehing in the way she stepped in the cage already made all the difference. It is her confidence. It is the smirk on her face, a cocky one. It is the way her hands are stuck in her pockets while she is observing you. It is the slight sigh as she gets rid of her leather jacket. It is all these details that give the impression that she is just here to settle a formality, already certain of her victory.

Even the way she is moving has something unrealist. Every step, every look, is calculated and almost imperceptible. Usually, you would step forward, ready to fight even before they entered the cage to show them you are not afraid, but this time? You can’t help but instinctively step back when she enters. The movement was slight, as you were already leaning the grid but she noticed it, the way her aura is pressuring you, and she loves it.

As soon as the door was closed, your fate was sealed.

It all happened really fast because she knew exactly what to do, she prepared for that moment. You quickly realized that you were right: the woman had nothing in common with the men you were fighting against earlier, you never stood a chance to win that fight. The realization is more painful than the blows she is currently throwing at you. Every punch you try to land, she knows exactly how to dodge it. As if she was on your mind, she knows exactly where to hit to get you weak, stealing your breath and your strenght, having you on your knees then laying on the floor in less than a few minutes.

At first, you tried to get up, to fight, but she is faster than you are, and wiser, and stronger, and more trained. She is being pretty much better in everything. Soon your vision is so blurry that you can’t see anything, you are feeling so weak that even moving your fingers or keeping your eyes open is just too much.

"Stay still,” she quietly ordered when she noticed you were struggling against her grip - she had you pinned down on the ground by pressing her foot on your back and grabbed your hair to lift a bit your head. "You're going to be mine no matter what, so don't make things harder for yourself, honey."

One.

Two.

Three.

You hear the countdown but, this time, it is not your victory that is announced, it is hers. As soon as her name is shouted by the crew, her grip releases your hair but you simply don't have the strength to move, the news leaves a void in your chest. The pain, but mostly this feeling of emptiness, is keeping you frozen in place. She owns you, and this simple idea is sending shivers through your whole body. You don't realize yet what is happening, thinking that, maybe, it is just a cruel joke on you, and it explains the lack of reaction when she asks you to get up; she needs to grab your arm and lift to get you on your feet.

You stumble, fighting the urge to vomit. Your brain can barely process what is happening, especially when you realize that your feet are not touching the ground anymore. In her arms, you are nothing more than a rag doll, silent and motionless, barely having the energy to keep your eyes open.

"She is not for sale,” she coldly said, her voice bringing you back to reality. As she was on her way to get out of the night club, some men were offering the woman outrageous amounts of money in the hope of getting you, they all backed up once she coldly glanced at them. "No one will ever take you away from me, do you hear that, love? You are safe as long as you’re with me," she then whispered in your ears.

You drift into unconsciousness as soon as the car starts, despite the woman that kept begging you to keep your eyes open, the way she was cadling you not helping. You just had enough time to notice the men sitting at the front of the black van, both armed and intimidating, before falling into darkness.

You opened your eyes again when the car stopped in an alley. It is late, the sun gave its throne to the moon a long time ago and, even if you can't tell what time it is, you know it is the middle of the night. How many hours did you spend down there, fighting for your life? The question makes you sick because the only answer is too many. All these hours for nothing because, no matter how hard you triee, you loose. You were never supposed to win their twisted game, you never got a chance and you slowly realize that the promised freedom was just a lure. For weeks you believed them, you played along their rules, thinking it was the only way to get your life back.

And here you are, in the arms of your new owner, a woman you know nothing about but that now has every rights on you, even if you will live depends exclusively on the redhead's choices. The fear twists your stomach, the humiliation clenches your throat and the exhaustion makes your eyes burning, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you repeat in your head, but you don't know for how long you will be able to keep your tears for yourself.

The woman is not looking at you at all, she is concentrating on not falling as she is walking to the house, barely seeing where her feet are landing. You, however, can't help but observe every detail of her face, noticing how serious her expression is. You are trying to guess how your life is going to be by her side, but you can't, she is a complete mystery and you hate that.

A part of you wants to go back in that basement. It may have been a living hell, but you had your habits, you knew how to survive, now you will have to learn everything again.

You notice that two armed persons are guarding the front door and, when you pass by them, they exchange a few words in Russian. You can't understand a word of what they are saying, but you guess they are greeting the woman, beside some insults, you don't know a lot and only because that's how they used to call you.

The inside of the penthouse is exactly as you imagined it: expensive, tidy and minimalist. You never felt comfortable in that kind of environment, it always reminded you that you will never have a place in that sphere, you are nothing more than their animal, a dog that does everything they want.

Once inside, you almost expected her to drop you on the floor but she didn't. Her grip is strong, as if she doesn't want to let you go, that's because she is scared too. She exchanged a few words in Russian with a woman before heading upstairs.

Your eyes closed because of the light, you don't see much more of the house, nor of where you are going. You can feel that she climbs the stairs, takes a few turns and walks through a door before she eventually lets you go. It is with care that she sits you on the floor of the bathroom.

"Here we are," she whispered, "you can open your eyes, love," she added when she noticed they were still closed. If you can't see her smile, you can feel her hand brushing your cheek.

For weeks you didn't see anything else than pitch darkness and the dimmed light of the basement where you were fighting, it is great to eventually be able to see something else. She even made sure to not turn the big light on, only a small one in the corner that diffuses a subdued light. Somehow, she knows exactly what to do to make you feel comfortable.

"Let me help you," she said, coming closer to kneel in front of you when she realized you couldn't take your bath alone.

On the way home, she sent a message for one of her maids to run a bath for you to enjoy when you arrived. The mirrors fog up and a scent of jasmine fills the room, but even if the idea of taking a bath sounds good, you don't move. You are curled at the exact place she left you in, your knees against your chest.

You are like a dog, but nothing like a fighting one, she thought when she saw how you tried to back up when she reached for your shirt.

"I am not going to do anything," she quietly said, trying to sooth you by using a gentle tone and caressing your cheek with her thumb. "I am going to help you to get rid of those rags so you can get a bath, okay? Then, we can clean your wounds and have a good meal, does this sound good?" she asked and you slowly nodded.

She helps you to get rid of your clothes that are closer to rags honestly as they have holes in them, the fabric being soaked in dirt, blood and sweat, sticking to your skin. You never felt so vulnerable than right now, under her serious gaze, what is she thinking about? It is impossible to guess but you can feel her eyes on your body as she looks you up and down. A quick glance which allows her to take a mental note about all your injuries.

"What are you doing?" she chuckled, when her eyes didn’t land on your chest but on your crossed arms - you were trying to hide, how cute. "How silly you are,” she whispered when noticing you didn't seem to understand what she was talking about, "thinking you can hide like that."

Her tone sounded too sweet for it to genuinely be and there is something behind her gentle tone that is rigging alarms in your head. You can't tell what it is exactly, but there is that weird feeling, your instinct screaming at you to be careful when your body just wants to give up and be in her arms, ‘cause what could go wrong?

She takes your hands to pull them away from your chest so you can’t hide from her anymore. Her grip is firm, just a little too strong so you understand that, despite her sweet smile, she won't hesitate to be harsh with you if you don’t behave. However, she still seems to be extra careful while moving you, as if you were a porcelain doll, because for nothing in the world she would hurt her fragile princess. She slowly takes your arms away so she can give a glance at all your injuries. What she sees makes her sigh, she seems about to say something but keeps her words for herself ; you should have been more careful.

She helped you to get in the bath and it was a nice moment, a few minutes you got for yourself because, surprisingly, she let you bathe yourself alone. Oh, she wasn’t far away, just at the other end of the room, keeping a close eye on you at every time, but dealing with something on her phone. She would occasionally comment on the way you were doing things, talking you throught it so you can shower the proper way, her way. Once you are done, she wraps you on a soft towel, bandages your wounds and gives you clothes that are hers, a hoodie and a short, and you can’t help but notice how good they are smelling, how comfortable you are feeling in these.

"Did you say something?" she genuinely asked, turning to you because she was sure she heard you mumbling a few words.

She was talking about your life here, talking almost alone as you weren’t really talkative, but thinking she would miss the words you whisepered was a mistake because she never misses anything.

"Nothing important," you replied, but this answer doesn't seem to please the woman, something twitching in her eyes, coming from soft to sharp.

"When I ask you a question, you reply to it, am I clear?” she said, immediately leaving what she was doing to come close to you and grab your chin. “You are not the one that gets to decide what’s important, your small brain can't handle big decisions and that's why I am here. I mean, see how it got you to be by yourself …" she continued, looking at you with disdain, as if she was thinking that it is only your fault if you ended up in that rat hole, caught in human trafficking. “I am here to give you a second chance and you better take it ‘cause it may be the last… so don't talk to me like that ever again, did I make myself clear enough?"

The only answer you are able to give her is a whining accompanied by a sniffle and she obviously doesn’t like that. Even if you tried your hardest to not let those tears rolling down your cheeks, you can’t help it, her harsh words only making things worse because you are already hating to disapoint the woman.

"If I knew you would cry, I would've sold you ..", she sighed in annoyance, her nails digging into your skin, "I hate cry-babies, understand?" she asked, but it wasn’t not a question: it was a warning. "The fighter I saw in that ring must be here when I am back," she coldly added before releasing the pressure she was exerting on your face.

She leaves, slamming the door shut so you easily understand that she is upset with you reacting that way. She has done everything she could in order to help you to be comfortable here : she gave you a bath and clothes, cleaned your wounds, promised you a meal and a bed, even gave you comfort but it still doesn't seem to be enough because you were crying as if she was some sort of monster, and she can't bear that vision. She tried to repeat to herself that you are just tired, that things are going to get better with time but it doesn’t calm her down. Whether you want it or not, she will make sure that, one way or another, you will accept her and she won't hesitate to use the hard way if she has to.

When she comes back, she notices that didn't move an inch, scared by what the woman could say and impressed by the bedroom. But it didn’t prevent your eyes from wandering around the room. It is really minimalist, there is nothing that could give you a hint about the person she is, everything is exactly where it should be, not a speck of dust and no personal objects. It feels like a hotel room more than hers.

When you hear the door, your gaze settles on the woman. Your knees are bent against your chest as if it could protect you from all the dangers of the world. She probably left you for only five minutes, but they felt like hours. Your thoughts had time to run while waiting for her : what about trying to escape? But it never worked, it’s always a dead end, a path to regrets because they always find you, making sure you won’t even think about doing it again and, if they do not find you, it's someone else. You learned that there is no escape and gave up on going back to your old life a long time ago. It is not even the fear of the armed men that is keeping you here, it's the void in you when you think about what you would do if you were free again, nothing. Nothing because you forgot how to live on your own. So you didn't move, not even a finger because she didn't ask you to do it, only being a dog that lives for its masters' will.

But what piques your curiosity is more the tray in her hands than anything else. As soon as she enters the room, closing the door behind her with her foot, a pleasant smell spreads through the room. You can see many things on the tray she brought back : a glass of water, some pills, a bowl of steaming soup with bread and a plate with rice, vegetables and chicken. When was the last time you ate a real meal? Long enough for you to not remember what it was.

"Eat." she said as she put the tray on your knees.

It smells good. That's the first thought that crossed your mind when you saw the plate. For a moment, you forget about the past hours; when was the last time you got a real meal? You can't remember, not even a fragment of a memory.

You would eat what your owners give you, eat quickly before they come back, never knowing what you are eating nor when the next meal would be; you learned to not ask too many questions. At first, it was difficult to accept such a fate: you would refuse to even taste the food they were giving to you, but it didn't last long. Eventually, you started to eat - inhale - anything you were given without thinking twice about it.

Tonight, for the first time in years, you are going to eat something else than the leftovers of someone you don't even know. Tonight, you won't have to be scared about your food being stolen. Tonight, you can even see the smoke, a sign that your meal is still hot, freshly cooked and maybe homemade.

"I-," you started, but she didn't let you finish your sentence, your lips barely had time to move that she already cut you, leaving no place for an argument.

I am not hungry, you were about to say, and she somehow knew it. She also knew it was a lie, your stomach has been painfully twisted because of that sick feeling for days, but the knot is also caused by your fears.

It all feels a bit too perfect. It feels like a trap, a way to encourage you to let your guard down only to break you after, making the fall harder. Some did that in the past, why not her? She doesn't look less cruel than the others. Yet, when she is talking, she seems more genuine, you could believe her when she says she only wants what's best for you, that she cares, she just has a twisted way to show it.

"Yes, you are, so eat, now," she ordered you with such a cold tone that you don't dare to argue. There are all these warnings she doesn't say out loud but you can read in her eyes: just do whatever I tell you, pretty girl, they say.

And, for sure, you don't want to face the consequences of your insubordination. So you slowly take the fork, not glancing away for one second, your eyes into hers. You are looking at every detail of her expression as if it would change, telling you that it is a trap, except it doesn't and her expression stays stern. It is impossible to read anything on her face, not even a hint of how she is feeling.

You take the first bit, carefully swallowing and… nothing happens. You don't feel weird, it doesn't taste bad and she doesn't snap at you for a small imaginary mistake you would have made. It is the complete opposite. The food is really good, melting on your tongue, and you start to eat quickly, not because you have to, but because you want to. For the first time in years, eating is a pleasure.

She sighed when she noticed that you were inhaling your food, but she didn't say anything; she will have all the time later to change that habit of you. So she just stood there for a few seconds, observing you in silence, with her arms crossed, before sitting next to you - that's when you broke eye contact, once she was sure you would eat everything.

As you are eating, she is barely paying attention to you, at least that's the impression she is giving. One of her arms wrapped around your shoulder, her hand is absently drawing circles on your skin while she is on her phone, dealing with something serious - you can hear her frustrated sighs from time to time.

Except she sees everything and your mistake was to not be careful enough around the woman. A little because of your clumsiness, mainly because of how fast you were eating, you dropped a bit of your food on the floor. You didn't think it was a big deal, picking it up to put it back on the plate. Three seconds rules, dropped on a clean floor, you don't have very high standards anyway - but she does. She turned to you the moment she felt you were moving, a curious, but disgusted, look on her face.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her hand grabbing your wrist before you could drop the bit of food on your plate. She moves your hand on the side of the tray, far from your plate, before you even get a chance to reply. "Drop it," she ordered to you, "that's gross, hope you weren't going to eat that."

You shake your head, too scared to do anything else, but she knows you are lying; of course you were about to eat it. You spent the past years living like a fighting dog, you would eat anything she would give you, you might even eat directly from the dirty floor if she asked you to. She winces in disgust, not letting your hand go.

"Give me that," she snarled and you can feel how her grip tightened on your wrist to force you to give the fork away.

She then takes the tray that was in front of you to put it on her side of the bed, you are looking at her, scared she would definitely take your meal away. You are about to protest when she notices it and glances at you, daring you to say a word, you don't.

"Come here," she said, gesturing you to come closer, she even grabbed your arm to guide you when she noticed you were hesitant to move.

She sits you between her legs and you are clearly uncomfortable, wiggling, but if she notices it, she doesn't seem to care. She is so close to you that you can feel her breath tickling your skin, but she keeps acting like nothing is weird here. When she leans to cut your food, you can feel her chest pressing against your back, the contact making your heart races. Too focused on how close you are to the woman, you barely noticed when she approached the fork from your mouth, waiting for you to open. It takes one more second for you to understand what she is waiting for and, when you do, you blush in embarrassment. She takes advantage of you opening your mouth to say something to feed you, and you don't dare to push her away.

"Can't even eat alone, hm?" she whispered in your ear while you were chewing the bit of food she just gave you, "but that's fine, I am here now," she added, and there is something in her tone that makes you shiver.

Once she made sure you ate everything, she wrapped her arms around you, laying a kiss on your temple. It is strange how safe you are feeling in her embrace: for a few seconds you forget she is the one that beat you earlier. Right now, she is just someone that cares for you, with whom you feel at peace. You can't remember the last time someone made you feel that way, you can barely remember your life before entering the human trafficking circuit.

You don’t really know when you fell asleep, but your eyes were quick to close under the effects of her fingers running on your hair and of her voice whispering sweet words in your ears. At some point, a maid came to take the empty tray away and the woman layed the both of you in the bed, under the covers, trying her best to not wake you up. This night, you slept in a comfy bed, feeling protected in the arms of the woman despite the things she did, not even thinking one second about pushing away her hands that found their way under your sweatshirt, resting on your stomach.

The Dog fell right into the Black Widow’s web.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #mob boss natasha romanoff #reader insert #mcu women #mcu fanfiction #angst #angst with comfort

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thefallennightmare · 5 months

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Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 3 months

Text

How can you fail at so many things?

This is what keeps going around in my head. I think we all collectively relaxed the first time Day went in for surgery and it didn't work. Back when we were still holding to the "in p'aof we trust" tag like it was a lifeboat.

This show was a weird one for me even before the last 3 episodes, because although I like Aof, I was not a jimmysea girlie. And then this show had the hard task to pull me in, despite that. And to say Jimmy carried it for me is an understatement. I wrote at the time that the third episode was when the show shifted for me and it was all Mhok.

So to see a character being so betrayed by the very people that created him is such a heartbreaking thing to witness.

I'm not gonna talk about the fact that Day can see. I'm not gonna mention the fact that this is a truly disconcerting way to portray people that you claim to have consulted in the making of this work. I'm not gonna talk about the fact that making Day see is irresponsible work. I'm not gonna talk about the fact that the last image we see of this show is a giant neon sign that says "forget everything you saw before".

I'm just gonna talk about Mhok.

After episode 9 I wrote this:

I'm tired of the healing of Day journey. 9 episodes of this. I know it's a bl and it's all about the couple. So where's Mohk's journey? I know he's his caretaker but outside that, in the overall storytelling, talk about an unbalanced relationship.

This is not a "I was right moment" btw. This is a "wow I can't believe it got even worst than I thought".

Just like @lurkingshan commented at the time, we still had time for a shift. There was still an opportunity to connect the threads, to give his character his due. Because giving him one nightmare is obviously not enough. With that said, I never thought Mhok could be even more betrayed.

Because the message of this episode was that Day did nothing wrong and so Mhok needs to be the one on his knees to ask for absolution, when he committed no crime. They really have this boy believing by the end that he deserved what he got. They have him saying that he did pity Day. That he was thankful for the pain he got. That he deserved his sentence. Because that's what it was. A 3 year sentence. And by the end he was still the one asking forgiveness from his jailer.

It's heartbreaking to me that in a story that had so much going for it, could get it all so wrong in the end. Because if this started of as a story that could have deeper meaning, connection and a message and characters worth portraying, in the end there's nothing. Mhok was a prop and Day was a waste of an opportunity to say something real about people that are so often under represented.

It's heartbreaking and infuriating that in the end, Day's blindness was nothing more than a giant plot device for 2 people to meet and fall in love.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #rose rambles #I'll be mad for a while #and sad for the potential wasted

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bonefall · 5 months

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while i do agree with the sentiment that bloodclan should be more nuanced as an entity i still believe it is wrong to portray them as the necessary "response" to clan injustice (haven't read the books in years but i am pretty sure that bloodclan started with no connection to the clans) / an opposition to the clan's flaws. some of the thing scourge did was out of selfishness and bloodclan isn't the other colour of the black and white debacle with the clans. the clans are heavily flawed yes, but it isn't realistic to completely say that their structure had no redeeming qualities altogether and that all outsider groups is fundamentally better than the clans.

all clans and groups are flawed in their own way and i believe we shouldnt brush past the things that other groups (the sisters and what they do with their toms *cough cough*) did solely to be able to degrade the clans and their culture.

Buddy, you're setting up a strawman. I promise you that if you look into the reduxes I've made of BloodClan, Guardians, The Sisters, and the Tribe, you will see that I don't make any of them a "flawless" alternative to Clan life.

Nor do I say that the Clans have no redeeming qualities. In fact, you can browse the "Clan Culture" tag to see the various expansions I've made to show how these traditions, values, and technological advances make Clan life so alluring.

The overarching theme of BB is that the nature of culture is change. For better AND for worse.

With respect, I think there's something insidious in the wording of "the things the other groups did." We're talking about fan responses to a work that consistently demonizes and degrades foreigners to make the Clans look like the "best way to live," justifying xenophobia. These are not real groups, they are writing choices.

In the franchise with some pretty extreme examples of misogyny, the authors said "What if bizarro world where women rule and have no men... woag..." and only includes a single Clan-alligned member of this culture, with a BAD opinion of them, who can't even do his diplomatic job because he HATES them so much.

In the same franchise that shows Fireheart getting bullied, facing prejudice, and fighting a murderous tyrant who publically executes a mixed-race character, their endgame villain is an outsider, like him, but this one IS a godless heathen who HATES love and friendship and banned families.

In the VERY same franchise which made its first non-malicious group barely able to get through an arc without needing to be saved by Clan cats, totally unable to defend themselves, framed as "whiny" for not wanting their clearly 'inferior' culture to be forcefully changed.

And I'm re-stating all this because, again, no offense to you in particular Anon, but I've been seeing a few people with a sentiment like yours lately. Complaints into a vacuum that don't make targeted critique of anyone's fanworks, gesturing at this broad "woobification" which is apparently out there somewhere over the rainbow, saying things like "well Scourge is selfish" or "well Moonlight abandoned her 13 year old" as if we haven't BEEN knew.

As if we're not all directly responding to these choices. As if I haven't written ESSAYS on this topic.

Since this was about BloodClan in particular though, and you admit you haven't read the books in years, please go back and actually read Rise of Scourge before trying to make critique of the ways fanon rewrites its origin. It's EXPLICITLY a response to the Clans, in the text, that the Erins wrote, it is canon that fanon is working with.

And you want people to take that out and approach it a different way... why? Because it's so incredulous to you that a nation forms in response to a threatening neighbor? That a common enemy through invasions is a way that people might choose to unite, and encourage their new culture to value brutality? Because you don't like the idea of Clan Culture's XENOPHOBIC BATTLE CULTURE affecting surrounding communities??

Could YOU, maybe, be doing this "woobification" thing I keep hearing about? Can I play this stupid game too? What's our stupid prize? Can it be a lollipop? Do we get stickers

TL;DR, ok.

#bone babble #Warrior cats analysis #Warrior cats fanon #Bloodclan #''Ok yes scourge is practically cold war era xenophobic stereotypes and i understand that is a part of canon you dont like.''#''But have you considered. Hes mean''#Yes. Yes i have considered it.#If I get another take like this in my inbox im gojng to fucjing add a scene where he kisses babies and looks at the screen and says #'Mmm wowow thank u for the babygirl juice fire star :)'#JUST to annoy them #People gonna be funny to me? Im about to be Hilarious.#Also ANON just to be clear im annoyed because like. Ive been seeing this around.#Sadly today you are the Genocide Frisk to my Angry Sans u.u #I am taking ur ask and turning it blue and smashing it against walls #Man it would be cool to have bone themed powers... i am a bone guy...#But anon you're fine. Just like. Think about what I said ok?

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bubuslutty · 1 year

Text

You're upset, darling?

pairing: platonic gn!reader x ghost x soap x price

word count: 1.4k

tags: angst with comfort, depression, episodes, no use of y/n, 3rd person pov, reader is mostly refered to as darling + they/them pronouns

warning: mention of suicide, not in detail tho but still (let me know if I missed anything)

summary: 141's darling has episodes where they feel like shit and how they spend their day in the base with those feelings, and how the guys comfort them.

a/n: I wanted to add könig, horangi and gaz but I was too tired to keep writing so I only wrote abt these three. this is very much based on my personal experience. I'm also undiagnosed so I might not use certain terms.

Sometimes 141's darling has days where they're down and very upset. It's normal, they think, everyone must have days where they don't feel entirely themselves, right? it's totally normal and very human, they believe.

At first, when they were upset, nobody would notice, because no matter how they felt, they always did the same things as they always do, if not a bit slower than usual.

They would shower, groom their hair, wash their clothes, clean their room and attend all activities with the other guys. They would even sleep their full hours, uninterrupted, and finish all of their food, rarely missing a meal.

But all of that feels robotic. An attempt to seem normal, to seem fine. When in reality, they feel gray on the inside. Dead. a walking corpse. A heaviness that settles in their chest like a rock. Sitting there, unmoving.

And more often than not, they wouldn't know why they're so upset, so down and dead and just not themselves. They might as well be in a coma because nothing feels real during those days.

Then they would be forgetful, less talkative, and their face would drop, drained out of any light and animated expressions they usually wear. They would laugh along to jokes that aren't even funny, to keep anyone from noticing that there's something wrong, that they're wrong.

But they couldn't keep having their episodes unnoticed. They're not sure who noticed first, out of 141, but they do remember how Soap would look at them. How even when he's talking and laughing loudly, he would glance at them, to study their reaction and face. But he wouldn't say anything, not yet at least.

He would then drag them with him as much as he can, and not necessarily make them speak, because he notices their silence, and the discomfort that would appear in their face when they're made to speak and actively participate in a conversation when they're not obligated to. He would fill in the space, with his chatter, but it would not be as loud, softer, a comforting murmur, a nice sound to focus on when they can't make themselves stop falling inside their head.

And then darling would lean against his side when they're sitting down and he's sketching on his knees, still talking and filling in the air. And he would wrap an arm around them and squeeze, his body heat comforting and welcome in those gray days. And when darling has to be somewhere without Soap, he would give them a much needed tight hug, all warm and big and long and soft.

"You'll be alright."

They find themselves hanging out with the 141 guys more often during their episodes. And Ghost is no exception. No matter what anyone says about the man's personality, whether he's cold hearted, emotionally unavailable or just straight out a bastard, they would never get it right, never, nobody knows him as much as he knows himself. But he does let out bits and pieces of himself to his mates. Because he trusts them.

Darling would be sitting next to Ghost, without saying a single word while he's cleaning his guns in similar silence. The only sound that could be heard is their breathing and Ghost's hands working on cleaning his weapons. But then darling did break their silence once, they don't know what urged them to open their mouth and speak, but they did.

"Thank you for being my friend."

Ghost's hands froze, and he just kept staring down at his guns when he lifted his head and looked to the side at the sergeant sitting next to him.

"Sergeant, are you suicidal?"

Darling was slightly taken back by the bold question. But that was Ghost for you. Asking direct questions when it mattered. Darling didn't take offense to his question but simply shook their head, "Negative, sir."

Ghost kept staring at them silently and reached out for their hand, gripping it and squeezing it in his gloved hands. Darling smiled a bit and didn't say anything after that, nor did Ghost.

Darling doesn't know if their words freaked their lieutenant out or not, but he did mention their very short conversation to their captain, John Price.

"Sergeant, I need you in my office, now."

Darling was a bit confused, raking their mind over any mistakes they did, or said anything wrong to anybody. And were even more confused when they couldn't think of anything they've done.

"You're not in trouble." John said as soon as they entered his office and sank down on the chair in front of his desk. Darling fidgeted with their fingers, unable to just sit still under Price's gaze.

John Price was the only man on base that Darling disliked interacting with during their episodes while simultaneously yearning for his attention and approval. His eyes could see everything, he knew everything.

They didn't like to be weak in front of Price. They don't like how easy it is for him to see and understand them. Even if it is one of the most relieving feelings in the world. It was scary. To face a man who could read you and so easily pin your vulnerabilities.

"Lieutenant Ghost told me what you said earlier today. He's worried about you and wanted me to check on you." Price said, arms crossed and leaning against his desk, staring down at them with a steady gaze.

He went straight to the point, no wasting time or breath.

Darling opened and immediately closed their mouth, unable to form a sentence or pick what to say, their mind was reeling and they had the urge to just spill everything to the man.

He does that to them, makes them want to lay out everything they are and stand naked in front of him and let him see every scar, every mole, every dip, every swell and every pore.

"Talk to me, honey." He said, so gently when he kneeled next to them, that it choked up Darling's throat.

Their eyes immediately blurred with tears, their breathing picking up and now heaving, struggling to breath.

"Breathe, aye?" Price said.

And it was as simple as that. Breathing. Breathing for their captain.

He wanted them to breathe? They will, with no question.

They're not sure if it's just his rank that makes them more obedient, more willing to obey and trust blindly. But they're too afraid to think too much about it. They're afraid they'll find a hidden layer under it.

"I- I feel useless. I feel lost and confused. I feel sick in my heart. I'm not happy, and I don't know why. And I want to be happy, to not feel like I'm not myself anymore. I want to feel good. I want to be good."

And just like that they spilled like an overflowing glass of milk.

Price's gaze softened even more, and he placed a big rough warm hand on their thigh, "Darling," He said and their heart jumped in their chest.

"With all due respect, you're not useless. If you were, I'm scared to think of what that would make us." He said, voice all deep and warm.

Darling cracked a small smile, looking at him with their hands on their lap and staring at him with big eyes, shiny and begging for praise and reassurance.

"You're more than enough, love. It's alright to feel like shite, but what's not alright is you keeping your hurt to yourself and making yourself sick with it. Talk to me, talk to us, you're safe. You're safe and good. You're so good."

A tear spilled down their cheek, staring at Price with their heart beating faster than a horse in their chest, their body heating up and feeling all warm and fuzzy and so loved they could suffocate with it.

"Come here." Price said before dragging his sergeant by the arms to engulf them in a big warm hug. His scratchy beard was pressed against their temple. But they didn't mind. Their captain smelled like cologne, mint and tobacco, but they didn't mind either. His grip on their body was tight, but they also didn't mind. Because their captain was good, solid, a constant force, safe and warm and understanding.

And that heavy stone that lodged in their chest was finally lifted and they could breathe again. They know this won't somehow heal them. To think so would be foolish and a joke. But this felt good nonetheless.

Their captain knows they will have their episodes, maybe not as often, maybe more often, who knows. But what he does know is that he'll set up a private therapist for them. And he'll make sure to remind Darling that they're part of 141. They're part of them, and they don't have to act as if they're fine, it's okay to be vulnerable, because they'll protect them, keep them safe from bad thoughts just like how they protect them from bloodthirsty enemies and bullets.

#cod mw2 #cod mw2 x reader #captain john price x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soap x reader #johnny mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x reader #ghost angst #soap angst #john price angst #cod mw2 ghost #cod mw2 fanfic #cod mw2 fluff #ghost x gn reader #soap x gn reader #john price x gn reader #bubuslutty writes

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vodika-vibes · 3 months

Note

Vodika, my beloved, I'm so sorry I didn't drop this in when you first opened your event, but yesterday was probably the craziest day I have had at work in a long time, then I had obligations in the evening, and I didn't get home until 11pm which was already way past my bedtime 😂

I digress... I am here now to congratulate you on your 400 followers!!! They're all so well-deserved. I get a little teary-eyed just thinking about when you first started out 🥹 Then you wrote that Alpha-17 fic request, and you sky-rocketed into the atmosphere! I'm so proud of you, darling 💚💚💚

Without further ado, my request goes a little something like this... For my bouquet, may I have Purple Lilacs and Calla Lillies wrapped in a beautiful pink ribbon? And for my pairing, perhaps a Five x Fem!Reader where Fives has fallen head over heels for the reader and wants to impress her?

I'm thinking sweet, soft, and romantic vibes, with just a hint of nerves, a dash of overthinking, and a pinch of embarrassment.

I'm so excited and can't wait to see what you come up with!!! I know it will be wonderful and amazing, just like you 😘

Please and thank you, with love,

@the-bad-batch-baroness

It Could Be Love

Summary: You are going on your first date with Fives

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x F!Reader

Word Count: 1035

Warnings: Fluff. Like cotton candy levels of fluff

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

Prompts: Calla Lilies - Beauty and Magnificence; Purple Lilacs - first love

A/N: 🥺BAABE! You say that nicest things to me! I'm so glad that you sent a request! That you always send requests! Especially since I started writing fics in the first place because of how kind you were to me at that beginning! ❤️❤️❤️I hope you enjoy your Fives fluff!

Nervously you card your fingers through your hair as you watch yourself in the mirror. You twist this way and that, looking for any flaws and imperfections with your outfit, before you exhale and smooth your skirt.

You have a date.

No. To be more specific. You have a date with the most attractive man you’ve ever met in your life, and you’re incredibly anxious about it.

Fives is handsome and confident, with a natural charisma that is insanely attractive, and you still can’t really believe that he asked you, of all people, out.

What if you say the wrong thing? What if Fives doesn’t like your outfit? What if your reservation is canceled? What if he’s not that interested-?

No. No, you’re borrowing trouble.

If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have asked you out.

You’re just overthinking everything.

You take a deep steadying breath, and look over your outfit one more time. A white sundress with a pink sash, and a matching pink ribbon braided through your hair and matching pink sandals.

It’s a cute ensemble, casual enough that you’re comfortable in it, but class enough that you can get away with wearing it at all but the most high end restaurants.

You glance at your chrono, and your stomach flips with anxious excitement.

Fives should be here shortly.

You slip out of your bedroom, and head to the front door to slide your sandals on, just as the doorbell rings.

You take a moment, just a moment, to take a deep breath to settle your nerves, and then you hit the button next to the door. And then you favor the man on the other side of the door with a bright smile, “Fives! You’re early.”

He is, by about fifteen minutes. But you don’t mind, the more time you spend with him the happier you’ll be, after all.

He laughs, and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, sorry. I’ve actually been waiting outside for about thirty minutes.” Fives admits. “I’m a little…eager.”

You move to the side and silently invite him in, “You didn’t have to wait outside, Fives. I would have been more than happy to let you wait inside.” You say warmly, “But it is nice to know that I’m not the only one eager.”

He flashes a grin at you, and you feel your heart skip a beat. It really isn’t fair how handsome he is.

“You look beautiful, Mesh’la.” Fives says then, lifting his hand to lightly brush his fingers against the pale pink ribbon in your hair, “I feel underdressed now.”

Your face heats at his compliment, “Thank you. I bought the whole outfit specifically for this date. Is it too much, do you think?”

“No. No, it’s perfect.” He says immediately, and then a sly grin crosses his face, “You bought a whole outfit, just to show off for me?”

“When you say it like that it sounds weird,” You say sheepishly.

“I’m flattered. You didn’t have to. You would have been just as stunning in jeans and a tee shirt…or a burlap sack.” Fives says cheerfully, “I would have looked underdressed either way.”

“I think you look very nice,” You say with a shake of your head. And he does. Somehow he managed to get his hands on a set of civilian clothes, and is wearing a nice dark blue button down shirt, and black slacks. He looks amazing, actually.

“Thanks. They were a gift. From Senator Amidala and General Skywalker.”

You shoot him an odd look, “I wasn’t aware you were so close to Senator Amidala.” You finish sliding your sandals on, and then smile up at him.

“Yeah, I didn’t either. But apparently my brothers have loud mouths, and she found out about this date from General Skywalker.” He pushes his fingers through his curls, “Imagine my surprise when I got woken up this morning because Senator Amidala and her Handmaidens were giving me a makeover.”

You giggle, “Well, you look amazing.”

“I now have more clothes than I know what to do with.” Fives says with a sigh, though there’s an amused glimmer in his eyes, “At least I’ll be able to stand next to you without embarrassing you.”

“I would never,” You reply, “You’re…” You falter as you try to think of the right word, “Magnificent.”

A startled laugh falls from his lips, “Is that right?”

Your face heats again, “That’s a weird compliment, isn’t it?”

He grins at you and offers you his hand, “No, beautiful. A little surprising, maybe, but I’m glad you think so highly of me.”

You take his hand and Fives grins at you as he gently twirls you, “Beautiful.”

“Me or the dress?”

“You, of course. The dress only enhances what’s already there.” Fives spins you again, “You know, we still have a bit of time before our reservation-”

“I know, I tried to get an earlier one-”

He shushes you with a press of his finger against your lips, “I’m not complaining, beautiful.” Fives reassures you with a gentle smile, “I’m wondering if you might be interested in dancing with me?”

You stare at him, startled, and then you duck your head, “I’d really like that.” You whisper shyly, before you glance up at his face.

Fives’ smile is soft, and he’s looking at you like he’s never seen anyone quite like you before. Slowly you reach up and slide your fingers against his cheek and his eyes slide shut.

“Fives?” You whisper.

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper in your quiet apartment.

“I’d like that a lot,” He replies, his voice just as soft.

You push up to stand on your toes, and he ducks his head just a little bit, and your lips ghost against his.

It’s a soft kiss. Shy and gentle, almost.

It ends as quickly as it begins, but Fives keeps his lips hovering just over yours. “You know,” He murmurs, “I could love you, if you let me.”

You smile at him, soft and loving, “Funny,” You whisper, “I was thinking the same exact thing.”

And then his lips are against yours again as he walks you deeper into your apartment.

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes follower event #arc trooper fives x reader #fives x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #F!reader fic #answered asks

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monbons · 17 days

Text

Six (x2) Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tags @bookish-bogwitch and @ivelovedhimthroughworse. Now that I am back to reading fanfic instead of writing it, I can't wait to dive into your work!

I have well and truly wrapped up writing The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch (new chapter went up Friday). I'm just addressing minor edits now. I'm super proud of how this story turned out. I can barely believe I wrote something this good.

But I'm also feeling really sad? I didn't experience this at the end of my last two fics, which actually energized me for more writing. It's disconcerting and making it hard to find a new idea that captures my imagination. Maybe this is that feeling you were talking about in a previous post @cutestkilla. The "I just finished my first long fic and nothing I write will ever be good enough again" feeling. If anyone has strategies for dealing with it, I'm all ears.

In the meantime, let me distract you from a sad Monica with a sad Baz from Chapter 4, under the cut.

Suddenly, it is there. Leaning against a tree. A smudge of a man. More a void than a person. Baz remembers Fiona’s warning: Never call on the gods that answer after dark. “What do you want from me?” Baz scrambles away from the brook, from the tree, from this—this—darkness, trying to create distance. “That is the wrong question.” The dark drifts towards Baz, slowly becoming more solid as it follows. Auburn hair like Niall. Blue eyes like the dance instructor. A smile filled with teeth as sharp as knives. “The question is, what do you want?”

I've recently learned that copying and pasting tags doesn't result in actual notifications, so I apologize if I've been tagging you and you aren't seeing it!

Hellos and high-fives: @thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire, @valeffelees, @drowninginships, @raenestee,

@noblecorgi, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @emeryhall, @arthurkko,

@cattocavo, @rimeswithpurple, @hushed-chorus, @iamamythologicalcreature, @aristocratic-otter,

@larkral, @artsyunderstudy, @whatevertheweather, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @comesitintheclover, @beastmonstertitan,

@shrekgogurt, @theearlgreymage, @best--dress, @skee3000, @stitchyqueer

#too sad to even be witty in my tags #retirement may come early #simon snow #baz pitch #the dark!#six sentence sunday

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pandorasword · 1 year

Text

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

Chaeri's masterlist

❒ Reading order: 1. Chaeri's recovery | 2. Calvin Klein with Jk | 3. HS concert

❒ genre: Angst

❒ words: 2.5k+

❒ summary: In which Harry Styles' post-concert doesn't go as planned for Chaeri, as Jungkook has something to tell her

❒ warnings: swearing; heated argument;

❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC

❒ notes: I'd have much to say about what I wrote. First of all, it was very difficult. Chaeri has this very annoying way about her in which she uses anger to hide other emotions, and I did not find it easy to write. Usually I don't expose myself much, for those who read my blog know that I didn't plan yet an ending of this story, but I think Jungkook is not in the wrong this time. Chaeri has sent him some unclear signals, plus she has completely distanced herself from him. In one way I understand his point of view.

Credits to media owners!

March 20, 2023

Chaeri bubbled with joy as she left the concert arena, greeting fans on her way out.

Concerts always put her in a cheerful mood, especially when it was Harry Styles performing, and having the chance to meet him backstage had made it an even better experience. For two hours, she felt like a normal friend hanging out with Yoongi and Namjoon rather than a celebrity herself.

When the concert paused halfway, Taehyung, who was nearby with Jungkook and a friend of theirs, asked her to tag along for a bite after the show. She accepted the offer, knowing that Yoongi and Namjoon would head home straight away once it was all over.

Though it didn't take her long to catch up with the two guys, she had to wait for the personnel managing the event to have most of the onlookers removed and organized so that all the celebrities could leave without being mobbed.

Chaeri waved to both of them as she drew near, her face aching from the long smile it had been wearing since the night started. "It was stunning" she exclaimed.

Wrapping Taehyung in an all-encompassing hug, she beamed with happiness "Harry was so nice to agree to take a picture only with me! I can't believe it's already finished"

She diverted her attention from Taehyung to give Jungkook a warm welcome too.

Harry Styles had put her in such a great mood, she wasn't going to let the bad vibes from their last encounter while on the set of the Calvin Klein photoshoot ruin her night.

So, she gave him a hug, albeit briefer than Taehyung, and then touched his arm gently, asking "Did you have a good time?"

Jungkook nodded, his voice muffled by the mask he had not yet taken off his face. "Yes," he said "there's not many who can put on a show quite like Harry Styles"

Chaeri gave his arm an affectionate pat in reply to his comment. "Well said!"

"Did she just turned in fangirl mode?" Taehyung teased her playfully, and she stuck out her tongue in response.

"Aren't we all a bit of a fangirl for him?"

Once they were in the car and out of sight, Tae maneuvered himself from the backseat to the front, taking care to not bump into them with his long legs. He then took a seat next to the driver

"What the hell are you doing?" Chaeri inquired, avoiding the near-miss of a kick that the boy almost gave her as he scrambled to get into the front seat

Taehyung leaned back in his chair and breathed a sigh of relief, pleased with himself for achieving the task. He spun around to face the two people he had just brought together. "I'm giving you both the chance to clear the air."

"What? There's nothing to talk about"

"Stop it," Taehyung replied sternly to her. "Every time we're all together, it's incredibly awkward because of you two. I don't know how you avoided it tonight. This has to end. Make peace."

With those words, he shut the divider between the back and front seats of the car, providing them with some privacy.

Chaeri had her mouth slightly open in amazement and was beginning to get nervous. She also knew that the broken rapport between her and Jungkook was a source of stress for the whole group, yet was that really the night and was that really the way to discuss it?

Jungkook shifted in his seat, his gaze fixed on Chaeri. "I'm sorry," he said "Don't take it out on him, I was the one who asked him to tell you to come in the car with us and give us some privacy. I needed to talk to you"

"I really can't believe you two pulled me into this little game"

Taehyung's words echoed through the divider, making Chaeri jump. "No one is playing games," he had his gaze focused on her reflected eyes in the driving mirror "You two have been avoiding each other for weeks, and it's not healthy for the group dynamic. Clear the air, talk it out."

She tapped her knuckles against the divider and asked, "Don't you remember you said we'd have some privacy?"

"My apologies," he replied. The boy in the front seat had now tucked his head down, out of sight. He was trying to be invisible.

Jungkook glanced down at his hands, where an array of silver rings glinted in the light. His fingers nervously twisted them around and around as he spoke, his gaze fixated on the shining metal "Before anything else," he began, "I want to apologize for what happened last time. I should have respected your boundaries... But I don't regret saying what I said."

A heavy silence filled the air as she stared at him, her lips parting slightly before closing again. After a long pause, she finally muttered "Jungkook, please. Let's not talk about this again”

The car had been driving for several minutes, thus taking away any hope of escape from that conversation she did not want to face. She made a mental note to kill Taehyung once that day was over.

"No,I refuse to delay this conversation any longer”

Well, from better to better.

Crossing her arms, she turned away from him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm not going to hear what you have to say” she had to warm her voice first, to make it come out as if she didn't care what he had to say to her

Jungkook's emotions were now clear on his face: lips slightly pursed, eyes narrowed, and a jaw clenched tight in an effort to stay composed.

Damn stubborn girl

It typically took a lot to shake him up, anger or irritate him in any way. He was used to having his patience pushed by disrespectful people, and he considered himself quite logical and thoughtful. But it took all the willpower in him to utter the right words without starting an argument; that was the goal, after all - discussing without fighting.

He paused and took in a breath before continuing "Remember when you promised that you'd always hear me out? Has that changed too since then? What is left of us? I'm not talking about our..relationship. But of who we were for each other before all this”

Chaeri's stomach was in knots. She had been dreading this conversation for weeks and didn't want it to take place with an audience. Taehyung must have sensed her apprehension, as he cranked up the volume of the car radio. A song by Harry Styles came on - what a strange coincidence.

"I remember," The memory of them sitting on the steps of the old BigHit's building, much less tall than now- or at least Jungkook -, came vividly to her mind, along with the promise they had made each other to always remain close. It felt like a lifetime had gone by since then. ”But things have changed. We can't go back to the way things were before” Uttering those words felt like an inferno in her throat. She never wanted to say them aloud, yet there they were, hanging heavily in the air.

Jungkook felt something break inside his mind at the sound of those words, wishing he had been able to keep his composure and not let his anger get the better of him.

"You don't even try! You avoid me like a plague! You were already distancing yourself from me before the accident, and now it's worse. When we were living together in the dorms while you were healing, though, it was almost like things were back to normal; like my Chaeri had returned. At least my friend"

"Why won't you understand that we can never be fucking friends!” Her voice grew louder than she anticipated. It was her fury that prevented her from forming the words in her head before they came out of her mouth.

Jungkook's jaw dropped as his eyes widened in shock. He felt the tell-tale thumping of an accelerated pulse against his ribs, as if it was trying to escape his chest

"I will always care about you, no matter what happens. You'll always be family to me, but I can't be friends with you anymore - that's all there is to it”

Chaeri's voice was firm and unwavering but her eyes are were filled with sadness and her lips quivered slightly as she spoke. Her hands clasped together tightly in her lap, her knuckles white from the strain.

"That's all there is to it!? Are you fucking serious?"

Jungkook's voice had risen, the intensity of his emotions coloring his words.

They were both going too far with their words, causing pain to one another.

Taehyung quickly turned down the volume of the radio, sensing the tension in the car. He had hoped for a peaceful resolution, but it seemed like things were only escalating.

"Listen," he interjected, trying to diffuse the situation. "I think it's best if we all calm down. Emotions are running high right now, and we're not going to get anywhere like this."

Chaeri ignored him completely but leaned over to inform the driver to stop because she wanted to get out

"Is that how you want to solve the problem? By getting out of the car?” Jungkook was incredulous

"I don't want to hear from any of you anymore" Chaeri spat back

"We're on the highway Chaeri, where the fuck do you think you're getting off"

"At a goddamn truck stop, can I pee in peace for fuck's sake?"

Jungkook observed as she opened the vehicle's door and stepped onto the shoulder of the highway once the car had come to a halt. Her form was tiny and vulnerable in the darkness, and he felt an overwhelming urge to go after her.

"I'm gonna go talk to her" he said to Taehyung, who nodded in agreement and stopped the driver who was about to get out of the car to follow both of them

"Chaeri! Just stop for a second”

Chaeri’s small frame and her strides cast a determined silhouette in the night. Her blond hair swished around her shoulders and fluttered in the wind as she continued walking, unfazed by Jungkook's pleas.

"No, you know what I'm going to do? I'll head into that store, use the restroom, and then enjoy the dinner you said you'd buy me - by myself."

"Why are you so stubborn?!" His voice rose in frustration

Chaeri stopped mid-stride and spun around, her face flushing bright red with anger. She glowered at him, "You used to appreciate my stubbornness!"

Jungkook’s eyes were focused yet there was a hint of exhaustion around the edges. The light from the passing cars illuminated the determination on his face "I still do," he said. "But not when it's at the expense of us"

She drew closer to him, her heart pounding in her chest. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, “Us? You say it as if we were still an 'us'”

Was she really taking out on him all the bitterness she felt toward her own agency for what it had put her through? As soon as the fog of her fury cleared, she knew she'd regret how she was treating him. But in that moment, it was still overshadowed by her blazing anger.

"And you say this as if it was up to me!" Jungkook's voice was rising with frustration, he cast a furtive glance around the empty parking lot of the truck stop, double-checking that no one was within earshot. "I could not decide anything about this relationship. I know I said that we had to move on, I remember the night I said that.. But I ... I can't stand it. I tried, but I can't"

Jungkook took a step closer to her, his hands outstretched as if to pull her into an embrace. "I don't want to move on," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to let go of what we had"

Chaeri backed away, her eyes fixed on the tips of her shoes as she hugged herself tightly to keep out the chill and contain what she was feeling; whether it be was positive or negative

"Whenever we're together, it seems to bring out the worst in us"

The umpteenth realization that she gave the worst of herself every time she was with him made her sick.

BigHit had been their downfall since they were first caught together - one continuous downward spiral until the crash in 2022.

"It's like gasoline and fire; we bring out the worst in each other" She repeated at the end.

Jungkook took a step back, his hands falling to his sides. He understood what Chaeri was saying; since the break up they had been like a time bomb when they were together, ready to go off at any moment.

"It was not our fault"

"I know, but it still happened. It didn't...work. We tried. We thought we could do it but in the end they won” She tried her best to keep her voice emotionless

"If I didn't know you-if I didn't know you, your indifference would make me think you never loved me!" Jungkook his voice hoarse with emotion

"Don't you dare say anything like that!" Chaeri's voice wavered, and she fought back tears. She took a step closer to him, looking up into his eyes "You know that's not true! "

"I don't understand why you're so determined to push me away" Jungkook said, his voice shaking. "I'll get over it if you.. love someone else now, but I cannot bear the thought of losing you as someone in my life" Those words on the tongue tasted like poison.

"We cannot be friends. Not the way we have been" she said, her gaze lowered to the ground, understanding this was the best decision for both of them.

"Why not!?"

"Because our love consumed me! Because every fucking time I see you, it feels like I'm stuck in the past. Every time I'm with you, you fucking idiot, I question myself about-" she couldn't dare to finish the sentence.

The tears that streamed down her face as she spoke were like a raging river, unstoppable. Her hands trembled and her voice was ragged, yet full of passion and emotion. He watched her with remorse, knowing he shared in the blame for the way things had disintegrated around them. She continued to scream out her frustrations, her words echoing off in the empty park

She sniffled and wiped her wet cheeks with one hand "The time spent together while I was recovering from my injury made me realize that it's best for us to keep some distance"

"Is it better because you don't have to deal with your feelings that way?"

Their faces were suddenly illuminated by dazzling lights, causing them to look as white as ghosts. Abruptly, they both turned in the same direction and noticed a pair of paparazzi - the distance too far to hear their conversation luckily -

"Fuck.."

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @ycuvi | @bts-dream

#bts 8th member #bts female addition #jungkook x reader #jungkook drabbles #jungkook fanfiction #bts female member #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jungkook images #jungkook scenarios #kpop female member #kpop female addition #kpop female oc #bts x reader #bts addition #bts eighth member

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lolahasmoxie · 1 year

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Making Up for Lost Time - E.M.

So like 4 months ago, I wrote "Sleep Tight" which I can't believe has over 1300 notes. Anyway, I am finally writing something else with these two.

As background, Eddie and Reader have known each other since they were kids. The reader left Hawkins after graduating (Eddie's first try @ Senior Year) and moving to Chicago for college. They lose contact with each other for about 10 years until Reader returns to Hawkins. Eddie has a 4-year-old son Ronnie, and Eddie and Reader are about 28.

Tags are at the end from everyone who said they wanted a part 2.

WORD - 1.8k

FOLLOW UP TO SLEEP TIGHT

WARNINGS - smut and feels. Angst w/ a happy ending

Italics are flashbacks

You were waiting in your driveway, looking down the street anxiously for any sign of Eddie's white van.

"Peanut, we need to get going." your dad said with a sigh. Your mom was already in the passenger seat, the back of the station wagon filled with what you would be taking to Chicago. You were genuinely ready; your best friend was the only thing missing.

He had promised he would be here. He promised he would be here to send you off on your next adventure, yet the road in front of your house was silent, with no sign of Eddie's van.

"Just five more minutes, ok?" you asked, and your dad simply smiled as he shook his head. You continued standing there, arms crossed across your chest. With a defeated sigh, you turned towards your car when you heard it. The sound of a fast-coming vehicle approaching, and with a grin on your face, you watched as your best friend came to a screeching stop in front of your house.

"I'm here!" he shouted, nearly falling out of the driver's seat as he made his way towards you, not giving a single fuck about the volume of his voice and how it might irritate your neighbors at 7am.

"I knew you would make it," you said with a smile as you hugged him eagerly. Eddie looked past your shoulder and waved at your parents.

"Good to see you, son." your Dad chuckled. "Was afraid you were gonna be a no-show."

"No way," Eddie said with a grin. "Couldn't let the college girl go without seeing her off proper." Your dad chuckled to himself before he climbed into the driver's seat. "So, you ready for Chicago?"

"The question is, is Chicago ready for me," you said with a tone of pure confidence that made Eddie's heart skip in his chest.

"You're gonna be fine; you'll slay 'em dead," he said with an assured voice. He paused when he saw a look of worry flash across your face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," you said, looking away for a moment before you spoke again. "It just, what if..."

"What is it?"

"What if I fail?" When you looked back at Eddie, you were met with his warm brown eyes, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Are you kidding me? You were the class salutatorian; you're gonna do great!" Eddie said with an assured voice.

"That was here; Hawkins is a tiny ass pond compared to Chicago. What if I fuck it all up?"

"Then you come back home, lick your wounds, and we'll get you back into the big bad world." Eddie sounded so sure, but he had always been your biggest cheerleader.

"Maybe I should stay," you said quietly. Eddie let out a sigh and placed his hands on your shoulders.

"You could," he started, his heart clenching at your hopeful face." But I know you, and you would hate yourself if you didn't go." You sighed, knowing every word he spoke was accurate.

"What will I do without you?" you asked, and Eddie hated the hitch in your voice.

"You're gonna be fine. And besides, if anyone gives you problems, just call me, and I'll roll in and kick some ass." You chuckled, your hand quickly moving to wipe a few tears that had fallen down your cheeks. Eddie didn't say anything; he simply pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. He rested his head on yours, inhaling deeply and trying hard to remain stoic.

"Y/N," you heard from the car. "We gotta get going if we want to make it by check-in!" You pulled back and looked up at Eddie. You slowly pulled away but stopped when you felt his hand in yours holding on. You turned towards your friend, the one who knew you better than anyone else. He looked like he wanted to speak, and you tilted your head at him.

"Eddie," you asked quietly. He sighed before he squeezed your hand.

"Just," he said before letting out a heavy sigh. "Call me when you get there. I want to know you got there safe." You nodded before turning back towards your car. You opened the door but paused before closing it and returning to Eddie. His heart beat wildly, bracing himself as you leaped into his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you," you said, and he squeezed you tighter. He placed you back on the ground and ran a hand over your hair before running a thumb over your cheeks.

"You're gonna see me in two weeks. Plus, you're amazing; you'll have new friends in no time."

"But they won't be you."

"Damn straight," he said with a cocky grin that made you chuckle. "You'd better get going; we both know your dad is a stickler for a schedule." You nodded before reaching up on your tiptoes to place a soft kiss on Eddie's cheek.

"I'll call you when we get there." Eddie nodded as he watched you climb back into the car. He watched as your dad started the station wagon and smiled as you leaned out the window to wave goodbye to him. He stood there until your car had vanished down the road and was no longer in sight, on its way to take you to a new city and a new life without him.

He climbed back into his van and took his time driving back to Forest Hills. The ride was silent; he just didn't have it in him to turn on the radio. He parked the van and entered his trailer, standing in the center of the living room and only turning when he heard Wayne's pickup. He didn't move as his uncle entered their home.

"Hey boy, you back already from seeing your girl off?" his uncle asked with a hopeful grin. "Tell me everything; what did she say?" Wayne's grin fell when he noticed Eddie's shoulders slump.

"I couldn't do it."

"What?" Wayne asked in a quiet voice. He moved to stand before his nephew; he hadn't seen him look that heartbroken since the night the police had dropped Eddie in his care. "What do you mean you couldn't tell her?"

"She's going off to a new life; she doesn't need me holding her back."

"That's horseshit, and you know it, boy," Wayne said with gruff certainty. "Shit, you've loved her since you were 13." Eddie sat down with a huff on their old sofa. He rested his elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands as he looked up at his uncle.

"She said thought about staying," he said quietly. Wayne's face lit up.

"Are you kidding me? That was your in, boy!"

"I told her to go." Wayne let out a heavy sigh before taking a seat next to Eddie. "I told her to go because I didn't want her to hate me when she realized she should have left Hawkins when she had the chance."

"Oh, Eddie," Eddie sniffled this time, and Wayne wrapped his arms tightly around his boy when Eddie finally started crying. Eddie hugged his uncle back, letting out his grief that his best friend had left and had taken a piece of his heart with her. His best friend had left, and he had done nothing to stop her.

----------------------------------------------

The feel of calloused fingers down your back brought you slowly out of sleep. You shifted closer to Eddie, your arms tightening around his ribs as you turned your sleepy face towards him to see his brown eyes already focused on you.

"You're being a creep," you said, causing Eddie to pull you closer to his side. You couldn't help the content hum from you as you felt his lips against your hair.

"Couldn't help it; spent years dreaming about just this scenario," he said as his lips found yours again.

Your first date had been a smashing success and was hands down the best either of you had ever had. It was nothing fancy; Eddie had taken you to a movie, followed by a last stop at the diner. You had concluded that the date was going so well because you already knew everything about each other, so there was none of that awkward get-to-know-you bullshit. On your porch, you had kissed and kept kissing before asking if he would like to come in for coffee. Two rounds of coffee later, you had fallen into a blissful sleep until now.

You glanced at your alarm clock, seeing 3:15am staring back at you. Shuffling closer to him, you placed soft kisses on his chest, over the demon's head tattoo that you had held his hand through when he was 16. "It's late," you mumbled before placing your head over his heart.

"We've got time," Eddie said, and you smiled as you felt his hand lift your chin up to look at him. Before you could reply, his lips were on yours again, his tongue sliding into your mouth when you gasped at the feel of his other hand trailing down your sternum. He shifted you until you were underneath him, all sense of sleepiness gone as you felt his cock hot and heavy against your thigh as Eddie's lips moved to your neck. Your breaths were heavy when he pulled back, reaching a hand down to run his cock through your folds as a whine left your throat.

"Besides," he said as he pushed forward, entering you fully before resting his forehead against yours. "We have so much time to make up for."

His chest was pressed against yours, his hips grinding deeply against yours, hands intertwined and clasped tightly. When you came, it was with his name on your lips, heart nearly bursting when he did the same seconds later. In the afterglow, you noticed tears brimming in his eyes, and all you could think of was how you wanted to live in this moment forever. Your hands cupped his face and brought him down for a deep kiss, pouring your love into him before pulling him down to rest against you. His head against your chest, you could feel your own tears beginning as you felt his lips place soft kisses over your heart.

"Ssssh," you whispered as you ran a hand over his hair. "I'm not going anywhere, promise." He shifted his hips, his cock finally pulling from your heat as he shuffled the two of you onto your sides. He pulled you against his body, his grip firm as if he feared you would disappear into the night.

"Love you," he said softly. You felt your body blush as his lips moved against your hair. He finally let out a sleepy yawn before he continued. "Gonna marry you, so act surprised, yeah?" You couldn't help the smile as soft snores told you that Eddie had fallen asleep. You yawned, feeling sleep coming for you as well, and you pressed a final kiss on Eddie's chest before closing your eyes.

"Looking forward to it."

---------------------------------------------

@kimmi-kat @feltonswifesworld87 @mrsmunsonxquinn @iguessyourejustwhatineeded @hahahafucku @emilyroxy @ihatepeanutss @mackyboo21

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #dad!eddie munson

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yutaholic · 4 months

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Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

#empathy fatigue is real #and the reason these shitheads arent getting tired #is because theyre not doing any of it from empathy

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midnxght-sweet-time · 2 years

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☼︎𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒...?☼︎

❥︎ Paring: ☢︎︎Scaramouche x GN!Reader

⚠︎ TW: violence, death of reader.

᯽ A/N: This is one of my Misunderstood Creator Sagau brainrots who I will now name–

➳ Fixer!Sagau

I wanted to do this with Dainsleif at first but idk how to grasps his character so I went with one of my personal favs. I'll do a Venti one next cuz I have an idea of how he will see the 'Creator' but I will need a scenario idea.

❦︎ Tags: @anemoarchonhoe @fatuifucker @rea-can-yeet

A burst of lightning passes through the atmosphere, a shocking sensation that's unleashed in the air causing a disruption of the peace the winds flow in.

"Kunikuzushi, listen-"

Howling in the air, the feeling of needles going through your veins causes you to stumble back and land to the ground. The force is so powerful that you've laid on the ground to neutralize the volts that gnaw on you from the inside out. The crimson stained grass tickling your cheeks as your eyes gazed up at your fallen comrades. Aether has never seemed so defeated before.

"I don't think I've given you permission to call me that, 'Creator'." A mocking tone that emits a condescending attitude with venom seeping out of his mouth. A flash of purple light that runs freely from his arms up to the delicately looking fingertips made of whatever magic porcelain that made him sentient. You placed your arm by the ground, slowly picking up energy to pull yourself together before a sudden heavy pressure knocks you back down to the ground. His feet on your back, pressing on you like he's trying to squish a bug, and in the harbinger's eyes, you are.

How can he, a divine beauty crafted by the hands of a god, with a power that is equal to, if not— surpass his maker, exists because of you? A mere mortal without a Vision nor an otherworldly power that matches the same height as the Traveler. You looked as dull as the uncomparable fatui npcs he was put in charge of. Even the title 'Creator' was enough to make him sick.

You make his entire existence seem like a joke.

It was bad enough he had mommy issues with how Ei poorly treated him as some sort of tool and threw him away like a broken toy. His past with his maker was a hideous scar left on his man-made skin, but now having to see you in person, the very being that made him come to live, it was as if life came to taunt him even more.

It was you.

You; who made him exist.

Who he believed to be the source of his terrible fate.

Who he was supposed to hate for his suffering.

Who was also running in his mind the whole time.

He can't help but stare at you. His brows furrowed with a fearsome rage in his eyes that glowed a brilliant indigo. Yet there was something else that hides in his pupils. A sort of infatuation that's sparking through like a broken wire that's twitching with remaining electricity.

"Why?"

A breath of curiosity erupts from his mouth. It was soft yet firm, as if his demanding an answer.

"Why did you make me?" Your head lifts up, making eye contact with the man above you. His features have become slightly softer, just barely though. His large hat blocking the blazing sun that gazed upon your unfortunate situation. The only thing that you can focus on is his still glowing eyes that pierced through your common ones.

Why did you create him? Not even you can answer that. It was an impulsion; a sort of motivation that pushed you to glide your pencil on the rough paper to form an outline of him. Your brush that does a good job in transferring colors to paint a complete picture of him. Your imagination gave him a sort of personality in a form of words that described him.

But never did you recall printing out a story for him.

You never wrote anyone's fate. All you did was programmed them together into one fantasy word with a small set of rules in order to truly make your creations come to life. It was only when you left them to thrive for a few months that you noticed something was wrong.

Scaramouche or, Kunikuzushi was someone you wanted to have flaws. A person who was a representation of life. That one small thing can lead to a big difference. You never thought such a pretty plant could overgrow. Though he was not human and made by Ei, he could still thrive. Yet the experience made him bitter.

You remembered drawing him as a gentle boy, so when your eyes met his own during that meteorite incident, you almost thought of him as a glitch in a system. An out of place character, maybe an npc that suddenly developed a huge role like the man Azhdaha has taken form, Kun Jun or the small rogue child, Jiu. But with how his design was distinctive, it was unmistaken he was whom you created. You just had to go back to your world to check.

"Are you going to answer me?!" His booming voice snaps you out of your trance. You didn't even realize you were reminiscing. The man above you was getting impatient as sparks of electro started flying from his arm to his entire body. He was like a ticking bomb, about to explode.

"W-wait! I- I–" wheezing out a desperate plea in hopes he wouldn't smite you right then and there. The sight was terrifying, there were no words to answer him, you cant think of anything! Unlike in the comfort of your own world with the protection of the computer screen, time doesn't stop for you and there were no speech choices for you to select with the click of your mouse.

"Pathetic."

Was the last thing you heard from him before a large wave of current surges into your body. Frying your entire being. That blood-curdling screams can be heard miles away from where you are.

You shot up from your bed, sweat rolling down your face. Breathing in the sweet welcoming fragrance of chemical fruit from your bedroom diffuser. The phantom pain of the electric shocks lingers on your skin for a few seconds before kissing you goodbye. Frantically pulling off the sheets and reaching for your phone nearby–

4:37 a.m.

Man, were you gone for that long?

The computer screen was the only light source in the entire room. The screen had Genshin still on display with the red overlay and the words, "Challenged Failed". Those words have engraved in your head that you used to be so disappointed whenever the reminder popped up. But now seeing those words made you terrified more, yet the restart button always gives you the courage to move on.

Behind the game over screen was Scaramouche, looking down on the empty ground with his feet outstretched. The very place he killed you from, his hat blocking the view of his face.

Slowly his head started to rise up, eyes now focused on the front of the screen. He was looking ahead.

Looking at you.

Getting up from the comfortable bed, you walk towards your desk despite the growing fear telling you to go back and hide under the covers. Your hand reaches out to the computer, hesitant at first as you weren't sure if this was the best option. Scara had his eyes trained on you through the screen, his brows slightly folds his eyelids, daring you to come closer.

With a quick push of the button, you restarted your whole computer. The once red screen disappeared for a moment. Silence filled the air as the screen turned black. The only thing that went through your ear is the sound of crickets chirping outside, imitating birds in the morning. A few seconds passed before the familiar assuring shade of blue shone on your face with the sound of the pc opening like music to your ears.

You sighed out the breath of air you didn't know you had kept in. Although you failed, your efforts were not in vain. There is still time, still hope. That curiosity that shined in his eyes gave you a hint, the gods– that you created, blessed you with.

"Next time. I will have an answer for you."

With that you landed face first into your bed with another heavy sigh of relief and went to sleep.

#genshin scaramouche #genshin impact #genshin x reader #sagau angst #genshin sagau #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #yandere scaramouche #yandere scaramouche x reader #sagau headcanons #sagau genshin #fixer sagau

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fuckmymunson · 2 years

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𝐒𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 — 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧

♡ CW: Abusive relationship, toxic behaviours, heavy angst, miscarriage, verbal and physical abuse, destructive and intrusive thoughts. | Word count: 3.4k.

♡ a/n: trying the [y/n] format, lmk if y'all like and if I missed a tag pls.

♡ If you happen to be in an abusive relationship, please seek help! Take care and stay safe, xo.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

He wasn't a monster, he was just a broken soul.

And she was a fool, trying desperately to fix the broken pieces of a doomed man.

The first signs were written in big, flashy red ink all over the walls, her body, and her eyes. But she believed, she hoped, and wished for a change. He was a good man, he loved her.

And if so, then why was she so afraid of him at that very moment?

"Remus, you're hurting me." She spoke weakly while a large scarred hand was wrapped around her wrist.

He looked at her, with wide, teary eyes, and his heart shattered for a second. Releasing her from his hold, Remus took a step back. She looked tiny and scared. Scared of him, of his words, his actions.

"Please answer my question." His voice was shaky, anxious.

"I already told you he is just a coworker, you don't need to worry." A soft hand caressed the now bruised wrist, and the guilt flooded his body, Remus took a step closer only to wrap her in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, feeling his own eyes tearing up. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated. "I got carried away, I was jealous." It wasn't an excuse, but the words came without hesitation. "I can't lose you."

"Remus." Her sweet voice was comforting, and it only fueled his regret. "I would never leave you."

"Never?" He asked with a slight sob.

"Never." She promised.

It was a promise.

Remus was insecure, he was conscious of it. He tried to push his intrusive thoughts instead of working with them, instead of healthily dealing with them, being so used to just bottling up his emotions. Years after years of not feeling enough for anyone, she made him feel worthy of being loved and cared for. He was selfish for keeping you up with him, he was also conscious of that, but after almost two years together, Remus was incapable of imagining life without her. She got him through every dark night, hugging and consoling him after every nightmare, kissing his tears away. Every full moon she was there, the only ray of hope he had in his life. The only one he truly cared for, and she was a dream come true.

She was his muse, for a long time. Remus wrote poems about her, songs, and books. Words scribbled down in messy writing just describing how much he loved her, recounting every happy memory, expressing the feelings his lips weren't able to pronounce. Remus adored her and treated her like a goddess. She was his goddess.

After almost two years, something changed, something snapped inside him. His insecurities returned, knocking him down. She noticed something was wrong, and started questioning herself; Wasn't she enough for him? Was he realizing she wasn't worth it? doubt after doubt, Remus failed to notice how his mood was affecting her, being too self-centered in his self-destruction to notice he was destroying the one he loved the most.

The first time he hit her, he cried.

He apologized, for what felt like hours. She cried, but in the end, he forgave him. She believed in him, he could change, and he was going to help him be better. They cried together and Remus did everything in his reach to comfort her the same way she comforted him every dark night and bad day. That night, when they fell asleep together, he kissed her. Kissed her pretty, soft lips and felt at ease once again, all the anger melted away. Why was he angered in the first place? Remus couldn't recall what was the issue. All he could focus on was the way their lips danced together, how his hand caressed her body and made her feel loved. Neither of them heard it, neither of them noticed, being too distracted in their heated embrace.

Too lost in a loving kiss, to hear the sound of breaking down.

Exhausted. If she had to summarize how she felt, it would be exhausted. She loved Remus, beyond everyone and everything, it was a love so intense and devoted that she forgot she was someone. She forgot to love herself. He was her priority. He was all she could think of. He wasn't a bad guy, he just had bad moments. She learned to hide the bruises, she learn to hold her tears, knowing that seeing her cry upset him. The warnings were still there, brighter than ever. But she ignored them because Remus needed her and she liked to be needed. She loved to be desired.

"It's so hot, [Y/N]." Sirius looked at her from behind his sunglasses. "Take that sweater off please, you're making me uncomfortable."

She quit her job, Remus told her it was for the best and she agreed, eager to please him. She loved to see how his eyes brightened every time he saw her after work, dressed in that lovely pink apron he bought just for her. She liked to stay at home, she liked the privacy, doing the chores, and taking care of their little love nest. Remus invited James and Sirius for dinner, and surprisingly, Sirius was the first one to arrive.

"It's not, stop being ridiculous." She replied while preparing the table, feeling a sudden wave of nervousness hit her. Her left arm had a giant bruise, and the fingerprints of Remus's hand on her forearm, it was an accident of course. Remus apologized and bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers the next day, demonstrating how much he loved her.

[Y/N] was afraid, knowing that his friends might not understand it, Remus loved her, and that was all that mattered. Sirius would probably be really mad, especially towards Remus and she didn't want to be a breaking point to such an important friendship for her boyfriend. So it was better this way. Remus who walked out of their bedroom at that moment heard the conversation, feeling the same nervous feeling at Sirius's words. They would probably judge him, and they will try and take her away from him, and Remus couldn't allow that, not even from his best friends. They didn't know anything about their relationship. They were in love, they just had problems like every other couple.

James arrived half an hour later accompanied by Lily, who looked radiant, pregnancy suited her, making her glow brighter than the sun. Hearing the young couple talk so excitedly about their baby, made Remus wonder, would you be willing to have a family with someone like him? Would you put your life at risk for him?

"Moony and Mrs. Moony, I think it's your turn to have a lil' moon." Sirius joked. Remus remained silent at his words but she giggled.

"Speaking of which... I have an announcement." Her words were like an illusion, Remus refused to think it was real, but it was.

Sirius yelled, excited, James and Lily cheered with him, a baby. A baby.

"Earth calling Remus." Sirius waved a hand in his face. "Are you with us?"

"Yeah." He replied, blinking a few times.

"Aren't you happy?" James asked with a frown, the moment Lily announced her pregnancy, James cried with happiness, they knew Moony wasn't the expressive type, but the lack of reaction worried them.

"I am." Remus faked a smile, holding his girlfriend's hand. "I'm just really surprised." And he kissed her, noticing how happy she looked. Remus could only imagine how beautiful and brave she was for carrying his child.

His child.

That night, Remus felt something change inside him, again. He felt at ease once again, he was going to be a father. Something that in his younger years he never thought possible, not even in his wildest dreams. He placed a pair of large hands over her stomach, earning a giggle from her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Why was she apologizing? "I just wanted it to be a surprise."

"Thank you." He whispered, hiding in the crook of her neck. "Thank you."

"What for, love?"

"For staying."

Once again, he promised himself to be a better man. Not only for her, for him, but for the little one who was now growing inside her. A part of him, of her. A part of their love.

Life wasn't easy, and from here, it would only get harder. Remus's intrusive thoughts returned just a month later. Haunting him. That poor child was cursed, the poor child who had a werewolf father. A father incapable of loving without hurting. Remus was too consumed with his own life, consumed by his fears, and those fear started to take the best of him, to threaten his sanity. The goodnight kisses stopped, the morning routines felt monotone, and dinner felt empty. She started questioning, again. Feeling useless, feeling drained. The pregnancy was consuming, and she was barely hitting her third month. The distance that Remus was unconsciously placing between them only made things worst. Forced to watch her youth slip away every day that went by. She started to feel lonely, Remus was so close and yet so far. His presence felt like the sun itself, giving her all the energy and happiness, but draining her if they spent too much time together.

"Do you still love me?" She asked one night after he laid down away from her.

"You know I do," Remus replied feeling his heartbeat speeding up.

"Then why won't you show it?" She tried to suppress the sob, but it was too late. She started sharing her heart, she started tearing apart in front of him.

It hit him like a thousand concrete bricks. Remus hugged her, hugged for what felt like years. Too caught up in his emotional decay to notice his neglect towards his pregnant girlfriend. He kissed her tears away, just like he used to do. Whispering sweet nothings and empty promises. Promises that soon would be broken. For the following days, everything seemed to be going better, the kisses, the routine, and the love blossomed again.

But good things never last.

It was supposed to be a surprise, she bought a new dress, form-fitting and all. She walked to the little market down the street to gather all the supplies to cook his favorite food and bake his favorite cake, even taking time to stop by the local library and borrow some of his favorite books as well. Remus loved to lay on her lap while she read for him. She even called Sirius and asked him for that bottle of wine she knew Remus liked and was quite rare to get, who agreed, promising her he'll be at their apartment before her boyfriend returned from work.

Everything was going according to plan. Maybe that's why the moment she opened the apartment door, she was surprised to find a very startled Remus, his hair was a mess like when he runs his hand through it when he's nervous, his eyes were different, the usual loving honey eyes were looking at her with pure rage.

"Where were you?" He asks, his voice screaming danger. He had a very maul bouquet of flowers in his hand, her favorite flowers.

"I was at the market." Reassuring her statement, she placed the paper bags on the table.

"Don't lie to me [Y/N]," Remus spoke, looking almost disturbed.

"Remus, I'm not lying." She frowned, placing her slim hands on top of her belly in a protective manner. "I wanted to give you a surprise, cook your favorite dinner, and bake you that chocolate fudge cake you like."

"You're fucking lying." With quick steps, his hand pulled her by the arm in a bruising grip. "You were trying to leave me?"

"No!" She squeaked, panicked. "I promise!"

"Good." He breathed. "If you ever try to leave me..."

"Remus I would never, I love you..."

"If you ever try to." He continued, ignoring her. "I will fucking kill myself."

She tried to push him away, scared. Tears fell quickly with loud sobs, trying to place a distance between them, Remus interpreted it as a threat, she was trying to leave him. His emotions were too strong, too intense. Unbeknownst to both, the full moon was just around the corner. Making everything harder than it already was. Remus saw red. He pounced, and everything happened in a matter of seconds.

They were yelling at each other, screaming. She was crying, asking him to stop, to stop hurting her, to stop hurting their love. Remus tried to, but he wasn't conscious of his actions and for a moment he wondered if there was a time in his life when he was truly aware of what he was doing. Although that life seemed too far at that point. She pushed him, scratched him, kicked him. The bouquet was now forgotten on the kitchen floor, while the white linoleum was stained with blood.

Breaking down, breaking down, breaking down.

The front door swung open in a violent way. Sirius ran into the house just to find the most horrendous scene he had ever seen in his life. Blood, tears, pain. The bottle of wine in his hand fell to the ground, breaking and staining the floor as well. Remus hugged her unconscious body, his face bleeding from a few superficial scratches, his hands covered in blood. He was sobbing, clinging to her form desperately.

It took Sirius a few seconds to put the pieces together, and when he did, oh, he did.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He screamed, a crashing feeling of anger quickly taking control of his body.

"I didn't mean to." Remus cried, pressing his forehead against hers while his tears fell all over her face.

Breaking down, breaking down, breaking down.

The waiting was torture. The silent hospital hall was too loud, Remus felt his head pounding painfully, the blood that stained his clothes a constant reminder of his actions. On the other side of the waiting room, Sirius fixated his grey eyes on him, using every ounce of self-control he had left to not choke and murder the guy in front of him. His hands were also covered in her blood. He enjoyed watching him like that, looking like a guilty bastard, and Sirius wished he would feel that way the rest of his life. His black boot tapping anxiously against the white flooring, Sirius let out a shaky sigh. The tall, white walls felt suffocating, the bright lights felt pointed at Remus and only him, like big white arrows that screamed "culpable."

"Since when." He asks, after taking another deep breath, the bruises on her arms and legs caught his attention when the nurses were prompt to undress [Y/N] and cover her with a hospital gown. Remus only lowered his eyes, locking them with his leather shoes.

She gave him those shoes, for his birthday.

"Remus, since when." Sirius insisted, clenching his fists until the knuckles were white.

"I don't remember." The taller boy replied in a whisper.

The doors of the waiting room opened, and James walked in followed by Lily, who looked concerned and confused. They noticed the heavy atmosphere and the blood on their clothes and hands. Something was off, there was something in the air, something bad.

"What happened?" Lily asked, placing her hands on her swollen belly, just like she did a few hours ago, trying to protect her baby.

Their baby.

"Tell them." Sirius spat with irregular breathing, his chest rising in anger.

"Tell us what?" James inquired, while Lily grabbed his hand, something was really off. "Moony, what is he talking about?"

"If you don't tell them, I will." His dark curls framed his face, leaning down with narrowed eyes. Remus tensed, the shame and guilt were crushing his body, his soul, and his heart. Everything was too much, he felt heated, nauseous. He heard her cries inside his head on replay, asking him to stop. Please.

"It takes a different type of coward to hurt his girl, his pregnant girlfriend." Sirius's words clicked instantly. Remus bit his lip choking a sob, James's breath hitched and Lily gasped.

"Please tell me he's joking." James broke the silence, hands shaking. "Remus please tell me it's a lie."

Please.

"It's not a lie." He confessed, knowing there was no coming back.

A hand slapped him, all across his cheek. It stained, but he deserved it, he knew that for sure. Lily's face was as red as her hair, she screamed at him, the same words Sirius screamed at him, their words sinking deep down his chest, burning him. James hugged his fiance while she cried in his chest, trying with all his strength to maintain composure.

"Mrs. [L/N]?" A nurse walked in, with papers in hand and a gloomy look in her eyes.

Sirius and Remus stood up, expectantly, both fearing the worst.

"She's fine, just a couple of bruises and internal bleeding." She explained, unaware of the situation, or pretending to be, that it wasn't her place to opine or talk. She was just doing her work. "She was brought just in time."

"And the baby?" Sirius asked, snatching the words from Lupin's mouth.

"Unfortunately, it was a miscarriage." She lowered her head while saying those words, those mournful words. Lily pressed her face against James's chest even harder, muffling her sobs.

Remus felt his whole world-shattering, falling and breaking apart. He failed, again and again, he broke another promise and was now paying the consequences of his actions. His shoulders dropped and the tears streamed down freely. Sirius had a similar reaction, mixed with wrath, he blamed himself too, for not noticing it before, before it was too late.

"Can I?..." Remus spoke, raising his head, which gained him a piercing look from Sirius. "I'm... I'm the father."

He was.

Laying down in the white bed, [Y/N] had a dull expression. She looked extremely tired, with dark bags under her eyes and a melancholic aura surrounding her. She was still beautiful, the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

"I'm sorry." Remus kneeled next to her bed, burying his face in her covered thigh. "I'm so sorry." He repeated, over and over, crying.

A cold hand made its way through his hair, brushing it, comforting him.

"Stop apologizing." She spoke, softly, emotionless. "You don't mean it."

"I do." A whimper, a life filled with regret. "I swear I do."

"You broke every other promise we had." She closed her eyes, feeling the urge to cry, but no tears came out. "Why would this one be different?"

The worst thing was that he knew she was right.

"I gave you everything, and it still wasn't enough." She continued. "I left everything behind for you, I stopped living my life, to live yours."

It was a harsh realization, it was a nightmare.

"Aren't we too young for this?" She asked, letting out a bitter laugh, one that broke into a sob. "We were supposed to celebrate our child, not to mourn it."

He was done, his life was done.

"I wish I could hate you." Her fingers kept playing with a strand of his sand-colored hair. "I wish you could love me the way I did, now I'm wondering if you ever loved me. A part of me still wants you, but I can't. A part of me still wants to live our dreams, to accomplish our goals. Please, please tell me I'm wrong."

The sick feeling was too heavy, the burden was too strong. It was a dependency, it was a raged desire to be loved and cared for. It was two broken hearts trying to fix each other without noticing how empty they truly were. Remus knew he would miss her if he left, or if she left. But it was probably for the best. He felt caged, inside his own feeling and his actions. Knowing he still had the indecency to be next to her after what happened, he was far too selfish. She was the only thing he allowed himself to keep, to be happy, and he fucked it up.

He needed to leave, even if it meant his death of him. [Y/N] was better off without him, but without her, he was lost. He was a stray boat in the middle of an ocean, a dark ocean that threatened to drown him. Remus remembered all those times when she convinced him he wasn't a monster, all those times when he promised her, he promised her to love her, care for her, protect her. Failing miserably to protect her from himself.

Maybe he was a monster after all.

"I love you." That was all he could say.

"I'm afraid I love you too."

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. I appreciate any feedback!˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Remember to take care of yourself and drink water! If you need to talk or vent, hit me up!<3

#remus lupin #remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #maraduers #modern marauders #omenhel'swrite<3 #marauder angst #remus x y/n #remus lupin angst

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