#I got interested in the series like 4 years ago and I only finished it now...
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Just this once, let me come through for you, the way that you want me to.
#blorbo icon series#art#my art#digital art#tangled#tts#tangled the series#rta#rapunzel's tangled adventure#varian#tts varian#varian fanart#I got interested in the series like 4 years ago and I only finished it now...#I do not like how the story went but that doesn't change the fact that I still adore this character
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To Know
aaron hotchner x reader
Summary: You attend your best friend's wedding where you see Hotch for the first time in four years since you were shot on your wedding day by Peter Lewis, forcing him to go into witness protection and leave you.
Part 2
AN/explanation:
Listen it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything and by minute I mean 4 years so bear with me!! There’s probably spelling and punctuation errors but I wrote this in the middle of the night so cut me some slack.
OK so a bit of an explanation on this.. so you know how everyone has their imaginary scenarios they make up before bed or wherever (and if you don’t you’re weird!) well this is mine!! OK not really but ever since I watched CM which was probably about 5/6 years ago now, Hotch was on my mind 24/7 and I have this plot in my head with YEARS worth of scenarios thought out with original characters and everything!! This is just a small snippet of the whole plot I have had thought out for Hotch and Alex (that is what I have named her in my head, but have obviously written it as a Y/N to make it more enjoyable I guess? Idk what people prefer!!). I could probably write a book on this crap but I’ll just start with this part. I am in the process of writing a part two to this so if anyone’s interested I’ll try to get it out before the weekend’s over as this is the only free time I have currently! Now if I ever was going to make this into a series (that’s a very big if) this would be a chapter towards the end of this plot that I have created. Anyways enough rambling…
I am an angst over any other kind of genre girly so that’s all this will be :D this seemed better in my head and it ALWAYS does but I just wanted to get it out of my system.
Hope u enjoy xx
Warnings: smut (a little not too much), cheating.
Word count: 3.9k
It was your best friend’s wedding and you couldn’t have been happier. Henry was your rock and pretty much the only family you ever had. He had been with you through everything, all the highs and lows, so he deserved today to be absolutely perfect.
You were helping Luca with his tie and giving him a final check over before he went out to marry your best friend. Luca knew how important you were to Henry and how important Henry was to you. The three of you were practically a throuple. OK maybe not a throuple but anyone who was important to Henry became important to you. They had been together for almost 5 years but knew each other for even longer.
“He’s here you know...” Luca said “Henry invited everyone from the BAU..”
You raised an eyebrow at Luca whilst finishing up with his tie.
“I know,” you replied simply.
Henry was the one who got you a job at the BAU. He knew almost everyone and if he didn’t, he knew someone who did. He had helped out with several cases and knew everyone at the BAU well, so of course they all got an invite to his wedding which was in London. Henry knew your history with Hotch and that meant so did Luca.
“He has them all staying at the Ritz you know, booked a suite out for everyone,’’ Luca rambled.
“I know,” you repeated and rolled your eyes.
Of course he has you thought to yourself, money was never an issue for him. Not that it was for you either but you were slightly more modest than him.
Luca could sense that he wasn’t going to get anything else out of you so he decided to change the topic.
“You think we’re doing the right thing?” He asked referring to him and Henry.
“Absolutely,” you confirmed “he needs you Luca, I don’t even want to imagine what he would be like without you. It’s not something I’m prepared to take on” you let out a laugh. “You two have practically been married for the last 5 years, now it’s just time to make it official!” You gave his arms a squeeze.
“I’ll see you out there, no backing out now,” you gave him a wink and Luca gave you a nod with a smile.
You took that as your cue to leave and made your way towards the alter and towards Henry. As you made your way up to the front you saw all of the guests take their seats. You spotted JJ, Will and her boys a few rows from the front, who were staying at your place for the next few days. Emily, Spencer and Garcia were seated a few rows behind them and you spotted Morgan and Savannah seated on the other side of the room. You were trying to find Rossi and Krystall until your eyes landed on someone else. There he was sitting right next to Rossi with a brunette next to him which you assumed was Beth.
“How is he?” Henry’s voice snapped you back to reality.
“Huh?” Was the only thing that came out of your mouth as you slowly dragged your eyes away from the man that left you on pretty much your death bed and then divorced you.
“Luca – how is he? He’s not making a run for it is he?” Henry laughed but behind the laugh he needed the reassurance. He hadn’t been the perfect fiancé and has put Luca through the wringer at times, but there’s no one else for Henry other than Luca and vice versa.
“Stop being stupid!” You swatted him gently, “Of course not! I stopped him just before he got to the fire exit,” you replied playfully.
“Ha ha very funny,” Henry replied dryly, “And how are you? …You know with him being here.. You did say it was okay for me to invite him but I can send him home if you want. Just tell me and I’ll have him escorted out by security-”
“Please stop, it’s fine. Honestly I mean it. We’ve both moved on. I’m with Avery now and he’s with Beth,” you answered. “Besides today is not about me or my woes, it’s about you!”
-
The wedding ceremony was beautiful and it was now time for the reception. You made your way round to all the tables saying hello to the people you recognised until you reached the table you dreaded the most. Thankfully your husband Avery caught up with you to let you know that it was time to make your way to your seat as it was almost time for your speech.
You gave Rossi a smile in the distance before walking back to your seat, avoiding contact with Hotch for now who was sat right next to him.
-
After the speeches were done and the drinks began floating around the room, everyone felt a lot more relaxed. You were listening to the conversation Emily and Avery were having about a book they both had read, until you felt someone tap your shoulder.
“Hi you must be Y/N! I’m Beth, Aaron has told me so much about you!” Beth exclaimed as you turned around to face her.
“Yes hi! It’s lovely to meet you, I’m sorry I couldn’t introduce myself earlier,” you gave her a smile.
It was a genuine smile, she seemed nice and in any other situation you could even be friends. She is not to blame for what had happened between you and Hotch, however you did wonder what kind of things he has told her about you.
“It’s okay don’t worry about it! I understand how stressful weddings are,” she continued and for a second you thought if she had married Hotch without anyone telling you. Your eyes flicked towards her left hand that was wrapped around a champagne flute. No sign of a ring. You cursed yourself for still caring enough to check.
“That’s a beautiful ring” she said bringing you out of your trance.
You followed her gaze which was now on your own left hand. You hadn’t realised that you were twisting your own wedding ring with your thumb, reminiscing about how it felt when you had the ring on that Hotch gave you. It was a lot smaller than the one you have now. It had an oval diamond in the centre with three green sapphire leaves holding the diamond in place on each side. It was a delicate ring and you loved everything about it. Everything but the dreaded memories that came along with it. The ring was now replaced with a big teardrop diamond from Harry Winston and it was beautiful. It sparkled even in the dark and felt almost heavy on your finger. You had to admit that Avery had great taste, the two of you had now been married for almost 2 years.
“Thank you..” you smiled and let a breath out you didn’t know you were holding.
“Uhm this is Avery my husband-” you cleared your throat, almost forgetting to introduce him to her.
They shared a few polite words until Beth excused herself. You assumed she had gone to find Hotch as she disappeared into the crowd.
“She seems nice,” Avery said and gave you a small smile. He knew what had happened with you and Hotch and he wasn’t his biggest fan but he was never the one to bad mouth him.
“Yeah she does…” you replied quietly whilst your mind drifted off elsewhere. Emily sensed that you were uncomfortable and resumed her conversation with Avery in an attempt to take his attention off you.
-
It was several hours into the reception and you had stepped outside with Luca and lit a cigarette for you both to share.
You had noticed Beth was in the distance on the phone but Hotch was nowhere to be seen.
“Today has been beautiful,” you hummed as you took a pull of the cigarette and passed it to Luca.
“It really has been, thank you for helping Henry with the planning,” he expressed.
You both conversed about the wedding and your favourite parts until someone had interrupted you.
“Oh sorry,” your eyes followed his voice, “I thought Beth was out here,” he explained as he looked between you and Luca.
“She is,” you pointed with the cigarette between your fingers “she’s just gone into the gazeebo over there to take a call I think,” you replied.
“Thank you,” he looked into your eyes longer than he should have before he began walking her way.
“Is this the first time you’ve spoken to him tonight?” Luca asked whilst following your gaze that was still on Hotch.
“Yup.”
“There’s an explanation. I am sure he has an explanation,” Luca tried standing up for the man he barely knew.
You didn’t respond and instead focused your gaze on something else.
“You know… and I really shouldn’t be saying this but... I think Henry might’ve had something to do with it,” Luca continued.
“What makes you say that? Has he told you something?” You questioned focusing your attention back on Luca.
“Nope. He doesn’t tell me anything when it’s to do with work and I thank him for it. But it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. He would do anything to keep you safe. Even if it meant putting your newly husband into witness protection…”
You thought about it for a minute or so and yes maybe Henry was the one who suggested going into witness protection but that still doesn’t explain the radio silence from Hotch even after Peter Lewis was caught.
“I want you to have what me and Henry have,” Luca brought you out of your thoughts once again.
“I have that. With Avery, he makes me happy,” you replied not knowing if it’s the full truth. Avery does make you happy and you love him but you’re not sure if it compares to what you and Hotch had and it seems like Luca doesn’t either.
“Let’s get back in there shall we? I’m sure Henry is looking for you!” You perked up, trying to change a conversation that was becoming too heavy for your liking.
-
Since you were one of the few people who didn’t drink at the wedding, you decided to give Emily, Spencer, and Garcia a lift back to the hotel whilst Avery, JJ, Will, and the boys got an Uber home back to your place.
The car ride back to the hotel turned into an episode of carpool karaoke with Emily blasting any and every song that came on the radio.
Once you pulled up to the hotel you helped Emily out of the car and then let Spencer take over. You were about to shut the passenger door when you noticed a phone on the seat Emily was sat in.
“You left your phone Beyonce!” You called out to Emily as she was finishing her 3rd run of single ladies from the start.
You caught up with her and placed the phone in her hand, she took one look at it and blurted out that it’s Beth’s and that she had found it by some gazebo outside.
You pressed the lock button on the side and the phone lit up revealing a picture of Hotch and Beth set as the lock screen.
“What room is she in do you know?” You asked Emily but she just shrugged her shoulders and carried on signing. Spencer and Penelope both gave you a shrug signalling that they didn’t know either.
“Right I will just leave it with reception. The three of you get some sleep ok, we have brunch tomorrow!” You shouted even though the three of them were already inside the hotel queuing up for the elevator.
You pressed the lock button once again making the phone light up just to stare at the lock screen once more. With a sigh you then began to make your way into the hotel and walked towards reception.
“Hello Miss can I help you with anything?” The lady asked.
“Uh yes actually, I’m trying to return a lost phone to a friend of mine but I don’t remember the room number. Could you please let me know? It should be a suite under the name Hotchner, they’re here for a wedding,” you smiled hoping she’d give you the information you needed.
She typed away on her keyboard for a few seconds before replying to your question.
“I have an Aaron Hotchner on the system along with a Beth Clemmons sharing suite 107?”
“Yes that’s the one! Thank you so much!” You thanked the lady and made your way to the elevator. Emily and the others were long gone, probably passed out in their beds by now you hoped.
-
You tapped softly on the door waiting for someone to open it and hoping that it wasn’t Beth. You weren’t even sure what you were doing, what you were going to say, what if Beth’s awake, what would happen then?
You had no excuse and no business to be knocking on his hotel door. Well aside from the fact that he left you on your wedding night right after you got shot, had someone serve you with divorce papers as soon as you came out of your coma and you still haven’t had an explanation even though it’s been close to 4 years.
After a few moments the door was gently pulled open and there he stood. Still in his shirt and trousers from the wedding. He looked taken back seeing you stand there in the hallway. Although you were the only one on his mind tonight, you still had caught him off guard.
“Hi…” Was all that he managed to say.
“Hi…” you breathed out. “..Beth left her phone at the wedding reception,” you said holding it up as proof.
You looked behind him and could see 3 mini whisky bottles that were now empty, lined up on the coffee table. On the left you could see two large double doors that were shut behind the sofa. You had assumed that’s where Beth was sleeping as there was no sign of her anywhere else.
“Oh… Well thank you for bringing it here, you didn’t have to go out of your way...”
“It’s okay I was dropping Emily and the others off anyway,” you replied whilst handing him the phone.
As he took the phone from you he moved slightly to the side, almost inviting you in before actually saying it.
“Would you like to come in?” he paused for a moment, “…please come in” he pleaded. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you the whole night I just didn’t want to disturb you. Beth’s asleep so you don’t have to worry about her or we could take a walk somewhere,” he went on; desperation clear in his voice.
Instead of replying you walked past him making your way into his room, a completely different side of you taking over.
You made your away towards the sofa, never sitting down just standing in front of it. You turned to face Hotch who closed the door and walked towards you, stopping just a few inches away. You could tell he had been drinking. You had obviously seen him drink at the wedding but he left several hours ago yet here he was emptying the mini fridge in his hotel suite.
You eyed the bottles on the coffee table.
“Rough night?’ You asked but it sounded more like a statement. When you looked back at him his mouth was slightly open, almost as if he was thinking of what to say but no words were coming out.
You tilted your head to the side as you took in his features. He looked different. Good but different. After all these years had passed, you never knew when you would be able to get a good look at him again, and god how much you’d missed his handsome face. The last memory you had of it was when you collapsed in his arms after being shot during your first dance as Mr and Mrs. You don’t remember much after that, just faint shouting in the distance as your vision went blurry until you eventually passed out in his arms.
“I- um I don’t know what to say Y/N… I don’t even know where to begin,” he expressed. Concern, pain and regret all clear in his voice.
Before he could continue you lifted your hand up in an attempt to stop him from saying anything else. That’s not what you came here for.
“I am so sorry,” he breathed out but you took a step closer to him and placed one of your fingers on his lips to silence him.
“Shh,” you whispered whilst you ran your other hand slowly down his chest stopping at the belt of his trousers. You could feel his pulse quicken as he took in what you were doing.
Never breaking eye contact you began to gently move your hand lower until you reached his crotch. You then began to palm him with a bit more force, feeling him harden underneath your touch. A slight smirk played on your lips as you realised how much of an affect you still had on him, how much his body still responded to you. You believed that you were the only one that could get him this flustered, to get him to cheat on his girlfriend, to get him this hot and bothered over practically nothing.
“Take off your trousers...” you hissed.
The concern and regret was now replaced with confusion and curiosity but he did as he was told and began to undo his belt. You watched him carefully as he dropped his trousers to the floor stopping at his boxers.
“You can leave those on, this won’t take long,” you instructed coldly and pushed him onto the sofa. As he sat down he reached over to switch a small table lamp off, leaving a soft glow on your silhouette that was coming from a floor lamp on the other side of the room.
You lifted your dress and rolled it up stopping at your waist whilst you straddled Hotch. The familiar feeling of his dick beneath you was enough to send you over the edge.
You lifted yourself up slightly using your knees and grabbed him through his boxers, silently thanking him for wearing a pair with the slit. He watched your every move and took in a sharp breath when your hand made contact with him and took another when you gently lowered yourself onto his dick.
You began rocking your hips, savouring every single second. You started to pick the pace up and you felt Hotch move in to kiss you to which you gently pushed his head back with your hand, not wanting any other intimacy other than the feeling of him inside you and maybe you inside of him.
You took two of your fingers and placed them on his lips again, this time using them to part his mouth. You gently slipped them inside and he welcomed it. You decided to push them in deeper. Not deep enough to hurt him but deep enough to your liking. Your fingers felt cold against his tongue.
At that point you knew you were close and so was he, your fingers in his mouth helped him to stifle his moans, whilst you watched him intently. After a few moments you felt him twitch beneath you as he threw his head back when he came and you shortly followed.
You removed your fingers from his mouth and gently stood up lowering your dress back down giving the man you still loved one last look before turning around to leave. Just before you got the door you stopped and turned around, he was now up grabbing his trousers off the floor.
“You left me… I was in a coma Hotch and when I came out of it you weren’t there. You left me Aaron.”
Without giving him a second to respond you left and closed the door behind you.
-
As you stepped into the elevator a thousand thoughts were racing in your head. You began to question yourself on why you had come here in the first place, but you knew exactly why. You wanted to see if you still had that control over him, you wanted to see if you could still have him, if he still belonged to you. And he did. You thought about how your relationship had evolved from being just co-workers to friends from friends to lovers and from lovers to strangers. That’s what it felt like being in that room with him. Just two strangers having sex. That was probably the first time the two of you had sex instead of making love. There was a difference between the two and you knew which one you preferred.
Deep down you knew why he had to leave and most importantly leave without you, but it still didn’t make it any less painful. You had thought back to what Lucas said earlier when you were outside, that Henry might’ve had something to do with it... But the truth is whether he did or didn’t it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. He needed to leave, to hide and go into witness protection. Not only for his and Jacks safety but for yours too. It all made sense. Peter Lewis couldn’t hold you over him anymore if you had no connection to him so he left. He left without you and then had you served with divorce papers.
The elevator doors opened and snapped you back to reality. You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts. You didn’t want to go back there, you had tried your hardest to move past that part of your life and dwelling about the details and the what if’s is something you didn’t want to do anymore. You had wasted enough time doing that and you’ve moved on since then and so has Hotch. But sometimes late at night when you can’t sleep, those thoughts creep back in and they have a way of suffocating you.
“Did you manage to return your friends phone?” The lady behind the reception desk asked with a smile.
“Yes I did, thank you so much for your help again!” You replied and returned the smile.
You made your way to the parking lot and got into your car and made your way home… To your husband…. Who you had just cheated on with your ex-husband. You pulled out of the parking lot and let the memories from earlier fill your mind. You had glanced briefly at your watch and the time told you that is was quarter past three. You groaned at the thought of having to be up before 11 am later that day for a brunch that Henry and Luca had organised with a smaller amount of guests, which included the BAU team.
You had wondered if he’ll be there with Beth or if he won’t show.
To be continued....
Part 2
#ycriminal minds#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds imagine#aaron hotchner#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner angst#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#ssa aaron hotchner#hotch x y/n#aaron hotchner x y/n#bau x reader
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My blog tells me that I finished reading The Adventuress of Henrietta Street around 4 years ago. That was around the time that I finished uni (and the pandemic happened) and I just stopped reading novels. Before then, I was reading the EDAs on-and-off all throughout high school and university, and got around 70% of the way through them. It's a really important series to me for a whole number of personal reasons.
So I'm really very happy to say that I finally finished a new EDA! 🎉🎉🎉 My first, shortlived attempt at Mad Dogs and Englishmen was 4 years ago, but now I've finished it! Here's hoping many more EDAs follow it. And the rest of my massive to-read list.
Mad Dogs and Englishmen was classic Paul Magrs, so it was good that I went in expecting none of it to make a whole lot of sense. Magrs really does like focusing on aesthetics, meta-commentary, and sometimes emotions over realism or strong plot logic. I really don't mind those kind of focuses, but I much prefer them with some grounding in realistic emotions and a coherent plot, which is why I'm not sure Magrs is quite as high in my list of favourite Who authors as other EU fans. I appreciate what he does with his stories, they're just not my favourite. For example, in this novel a bunch of seemingly normal clay figurines come to life for, unless I'm forgetting something, no reason at all. It's a cool sequence, but not really much more. Then the monsters lead to the kinda awful death of a minor character because the protagonists... ignored him? Forgot about him? And the novel brushes past that pretty quickly. So yeah when I read a Magrs novel, I just need to switch off my mind's logic (including, sometimes, emotional logic) and just enjoy the ride.
But having said all that, I did enjoy the ride quite a lot! Definitely more than The Blue Angel, which I remember dragged a little for me. Mad Dogs, on the other hand, really held my attention, especially when I got to the point where the Tardis team had split up on their own adventures, and all three of them were equally entertaining (A rare EDA achievement!) It's always a joy for Iris to turn up, though I wish she could've been in more of the book, and Fitz's reaction to figuring her out was so entertaining. Also, does Iris' new body in this book make her one of the first Time Lords(ish) in any media to change skin colour? Just two months before Don Warrington made his first appearance as Rassilon (It's always fun to figure out what the comics and audios were doing at the same time as the novel I'm up to.)
Anyway, the premise of the Doctor and his team investigating the various stages of a novel's adaptation into a movie to find out how and why it was temporally interfered with to turn it into propaganda for another planet's politics is fantastic. Noel Coward having such a large part in the plot was a little surprising but fun. It's interesting how Anji still feels like she doesn't quite fit this life after 10 novels now, the poor girl. And the infamous scenes where the Tardis team are stripped naked, collared, and made to crawl around by dogs, and only Anji is at all upset about that is hilarious (That just happened to be the bit I was up to when my girlfriend asked me to read aloud to her to help her fall asleep. She ended up asking me to stop because what I was reading was 'too interesting' for her to sleep to 😂)
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Arrogance Incarnate
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Summary: Loki and you don’t get along, at all. It’s infuriating and frustrating, except in the few moments where it’s pure bliss. Inspired by @lokisgoodgirl series Hostile F*cks that I stumbled upon a few days ago.
Word Count: 2859
Warnings: Slight angst, smut, dom/sub elements, angry fuck, pet names, open-ended ending
A/N: This post does not have any of my taglist added as my taglist is now 2 years outdated. I hope you all enjoy this piece as I certainly enjoyed writing again. Let me know what y’all think!
This is set as if everything is happy and okay, everyone lives in the compound together. Also, inspired by @lokisgoodgirl Hostile F*cks series that I stumbled upon the other day!
I do not own these characters. Do NOT repost my writing and/or fics anywhere without my written permission. Reblogs are welcomed and highly appreciated!
No one really comprehended how it got like this, some days it was better not to ask and just ignore it. It didn't start out this way, quite the opposite as a matter of fact; all warm welcomes and soft smiles inevitably turned into agitated sighs and annoyed eye rolls.
You couldn't help it though. He had become absolutely infuriating; too sure of himself, too cocky, too arrogant… Too Loki.
Nat sat beside you at the kitchen island, finishing up her food as the time neared for her to leave. Majority of the team had been assigned a mission, they wouldn't be gone for long - only 2 or 3 days - but it required a lot of manpower to assure no one got hurt. You'd been on the last few big missions so Tony let you sit this one out, figuring you'd enjoy some peace and quiet.
But peace and quiet was the last thing you would get. Since this mission requires the most finesse, the assurance that no one would make an abrupt move, that no one would steer away from the plan, Loki had also been chosen to sit this one out.
"I really hope you guys get back sooner rather than later," you huffed, picking at the last bit of the fruit in your bowl.
Nat chuckled softly, shaking her head at your complaints, "Try not to kill each other while we're gone. Spiderboy is hanging back too if you need someone to occupy you."
You rolled your eyes, standing up to clean up your dishes and taking hers with you, "Peter is an MIT student, has to travel between here and Boston every 4 weeks, has a girlfriend, is working on suit upgrades, and has friends in the city he hasn't seen in months. I doubt I'm the first person on his list of people to 'occupy'."
Nat followed you, rubbing her hand along your back as you stood at the sink cleaning the dishes. "Well, take yourself out, or have a movie night. Maybe rearrange your room like you've been talking bout. Or find a good lay." She teased at the end.
You shook your head, turning the water off and shaking your hands of the water, "Yeah yeah, I know. But I'd rather spend my time sitting in the same room as you, playing on my switch, and bitching about the same shit over and over. But I'll live. You, however, need to get going before Steve decides to come searching for you."
She sighed, an apologetic look spreading across her features. "I know. But, we're still on for that brunch and spa spot next week. I'll text you updates, okay?"
You nodded, watching as she turned and made her way to the meeting room for debriefing.
This was going to be a long few days.
You started making your way to your room, intending to grab a book then head out to sit by the pool. But you didn't make it far, hearing Thor's booming voice echoing off the walls. You stopped, hating yourself immediately for being interested in the conversation, but nonetheless you stayed out of sight.
"Be nice to her, brother. She was the only one kind to you when we arrived. Surely, you must appreciate that enough to think about your actions."
Loki's sigh was sharp and loud, "For the last time, Thor, how I treat our fellow colleagues," there was a tinge of disgust in his voice that turned your face sour at hearing it, "has very little to do with you. Besides, this back and forth between (Y/N) was started by her. For being the one who was kindest to me, she's the only one now who is constantly irritated by my very presence."
It was true. You hated to admit it, but every word was true. Shaking your head, you kept moving, trying you best to make it seem like you hadn't been listening in.
When Thor and Loki had decided to make Asgard their new home, things were rough. Loki's history with Earth made it so that S.H.I.E.L.D required them to live with the Avengers for two years. Any trips he made outside the compound had to be supervised for the first 6 months, then slowly he could gain trust.
Their arrival was almost a year ago. You had heard the many stories of Loki, mostly bad with Thor sprinkling in some good. It became glaringly obvious to you that something had to be happening at the time the others had met him, that pieces of information were missing for you to understand fully why Loki attacked New York. Sure, you didn't want to immediately dismiss the concerns, but you wanted him to feel like he had someone there who didn't hate him.
And it did begin that way, a friendly introduction, showing him books, introducing him to movies and songs. There were countless times in the beginning where Loki and you were almost inseparable.
Then the missions started, and irritation started. He was too brazen, making bold moves without discussion. More than once he had put you in a predicament where you could have gotten hurt. There was this one mission in particular, you were undercover in a club trying to collect information, Loki was your watch - the person you had been talking to had gotten a little too close, nothing you weren't expecting, but Loki apparently felt it was too much. The two of you had to rush out after Loki left the guy with a broken nose.
Sure, it became frustrating to work on missions with him, but it didn't become bad at home until after he was able to leave the compound on his own.
One night, admittedly after too many glasses of wine, you had made your way to Loki's room with the full intention of trying to flirt your way into a date with him. He was tall, stunningly gorgeous, playful, and caring. You had spent a lot of time with him, movie nights that kept you up late, stories being passed back and forth. But just as you were about to knock on his door, there was a loud, high pitched, nasally moan of his name. It was a voice you didn't recognize, your blood running instantly cold as your hand hovered over the door.
It was that moment that things turned bad. You had made an backhanded remark the next day, and Loki being Loki reciprocated. Every day another verbal dagger thrown until the two of you couldn't be in the same room together.
Tony had even put you two on an easy mission together, hoping that somehow you two would have it out and things would improve, but that didn't work. It just made things worse.
You did have it out though. The first times of many you would truly have it out with Loki. No one had noticed or caught on, not that either of you were aware of. You truly couldn't stand him anymore unless he was seated to the hilt in you, or if his piercing eyes were darkening between your thighs, or his hands roaming every inch of your body.
How would anyone catch on? Outside of your bedroom, the two of you barely even spared a glance to each other and the ones you did were out of sheer agitation. No lingering words or flirty smiles. And the only time you found him in your bed was after weeks of build up from bickering and arguing.
You closed your door behind you, sighing deeply to try to put your roaming thoughts at bay. This was truly going to be a long few days.
The weather couldn't have been better, but the moment you stepped outside the desire to be anywhere but on a bed or couch went out the door. You stood there for a moment, taking in the warmth of the sunshine and the soft breeze of air that allowed a reprieve from the heat. The jets of the teams leaving soared overhead. With yet another sigh you turned on your heels, heading back inside.
Opting to head back to your room, you passed the living quarters again where Loki had taken home for the day. Your footsteps passing brought his attention from the book in his hands, watching with slight amusement as you moved through the compound.
"Having troubles making up your mind?" He called to you.
Another huff and roll of the eyes, but you kept moving, ignoring the God's taunt.
You hadn't been in your room long before the door flew open, startling you. Loki stood there, annoyance written on his face. "No one else is here, so must you continue to pretend to hate me to my core?"
Words left you, unsure of what to say or how to feel. This was bold of him, he'd hadn't come to your room without warning before, and truly you did expect to just ignore each others existence for the next few days.
"I asked you a question." He let himself in, shutting the door behind him as he stalked his way to stand above you at the end of the bed.
"Pretend?" You asked, voice soft and throat dried. You hated the effect he could have on you - the smell of him, of leather, musk, and mint overwhelming your senses.
"Are you saying you're not pretending?" His eyebrows were raised.
You huffed, rising from your sitting position to your knees. "Loki, I can assure you, that pretending would be much less exhausting."
"Darling, don't act like there isn't a part of you that wants me." You swallowed hard, staring up at him. Of course you wanted him, you wanted him in more ways than you would admit. Loki stared back, "If you're not pretending, then why do you hate me?" His voice was almost teasing.
"You're arrogant. You're arrogant to the point that you are blinded by it." You stated.
"That's it? Did the little pet get her feelings hurt by something I said? Or was it something I did?" He teased, punctuating the end of his sentence by carding his hands through your hair and tugging tightly.
"I am the God of Mischief after all, darling. You truly didn't think that I wouldn't be a little unhinged, did you?" He tugged your hair back, forcing a gasp out of you as he started to move you to a lying position, him hovering over top of you, "We both know there's a part of you that still loves it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have your legs wrapped around my waist right now, you wouldn't moan my name so wantonly, you wouldn't even let me anywhere near your pretty little pussy."
Loki used his leverage of his hand in your hair to turn your head, kissing at the sensitive skin of your neck. "Admit it," he said between kisses, "admit you want me, darling."
A chill ran down your spine. You hated it, the second he was on top of you, you had instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands now carding in his hair. You were already getting wet, trying your best to hold back any whines or moans.
Loki didn't like you ignoring him. He bit down on the junction between your neck and shoulder, sucking hard and undoubtedly leaving a mark. He pulled back, "if you want me to satisfy you, you need to admit it."
His hand left your hair, both of them moving to roam across your body. The moved under your shift, cold fingers causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. He didn't say anything as he continued on, hands moving to cups your breasts, thumbs rubbing over your nipples through the fabric of your bra.
He was going to tease until you admitted it. Loki's hips rocked slowly against you, relishing in listening to you whine and whimper, your own hips trying to run against him, your core getting hot with need. His lips continued their assault on your neck, careful not to leave any marks too high up.
Suddenly, your shirt was gone, Loki using it magic to take it off. His mouth move to your shoulder, leaving an array of purple and blue there, making his way further down and nipping at the top of your chest.
"Please," you whined, pulling at his hair, "Please Loki."
He chuckled against your skin, hands snaking behind you to undo your bra, taking notice of the goosebumps thay spread across your skin from the feel of his hands on you. "Admit you want it. You know what you have to say."
You whined, squirming as he pulled up some to discard your bra. Immediately, his mouth attached to your nipple, flicking and sucking the sensitive bud as his hand moved to toy with the other one. He switched back and forth, your moans like music to his ears.
Moans were spewing out of you, hips rutting harder and fast. "Damn it, Loki, stop the teasing and just fuck me if that's what you came in here to do." You managed to choke out.
Loki pulled away from your chest, both hands playing with your nipples now. "I came here to teach you a lesson. Now, admit you want it."
"I want it," you finally blurted out, feeling like you were going crazy with need. "I want you, Loki. Please just fuck me."
"Good girl," suddenly, all of your clothes were gone. He sat back on his legs, looking down at you for a few moments. "Heavens, you're still just as ravishing to look at."
His were gone now as well and he leaned back down, capturing your lips in his. It happened so quickly, him moving your calves to his shoulders, lining his cock up with your core, pushing in slowly as your lips moved against each other feverishly.
Loki pushed himself all the way in, staying still once he was fully seated, watching the look of ecstasy on your face, eyes screwed shut and mouth slightly agape. It was a look he would never get tired of.
He waited until you looked up at him to pull out and shove himself back in, setting a pace that rattled you inside out. He moved one of your legs down to his waist, angling his hips and moving a hand to rub your clit.
Loud moans fell from you, echoing off the walls and sounding like songs in his ears. He kept at it, feeling your walls spasm, watching you feeling at him.
A wave of confidence ran through you, moving your other leg back down to his waist, you sat up as best as you could, carding a hand through his hair and pulling him back down to kiss him. You move your lips to his neck, making sure his would match yours in color. Hands moving along his lean body.
Pressure began to build, his relentless pursuit of both your high starting to become successful. Your free hand moved to his back, scratching against the pale expanse of skin and leaving bright red marks in your wake.
Suddenly, a hand was gripping your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye, "you're being so good for me for someone who hates me." A chill ran up your spine, the pressure in your core ready to flood and take over, "I can feel you squeezing my cock, cum for me, darling. Be my good girl and cum for me."
Between his blissfully sinful words and the rutting of his hips against yours, you toppled over the edge, immediately securing your mouth to his shoulder and biting down to muffle your loud moans. The pain spurred him on, his thrusts becoming erratic as he neared his own high. Loki came, painting your insides white as he collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you too much with his weight as he took deep breaths, both of your hearts racing.
There was a pleasant quiet that fell between the two of you, something that hadn't happened before. It was always finished and get gone as quickly as possible, but this time he laid there for a couple of minutes, both of you taking in the bliss of not being at each other's throat.
Loki inevitably pulled out of you, taking the time to get up and get a rag from your connected bathroom. He brought it over, slightly damp, wiping the dried saliva from his own neck before handing it to you so you could clean yourself up some. As you did, he grabbed his clothes instead of using his magic to put them back on.
Loki slipped his pants on, holding the rest of his clothes in his hand as he made his way to the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned to look at you, an almost tired expression on his face.
"When you have decided you're done pretending to hate me, let me know." And with that he walked out, leaving you there to contemplate your every emotion.
#loki smut#loki x reader#Loki Laufeyson#loki one shot#Loki Laufeyson x Reader#marvel smut#loki x reader smut#loki x y/n#marvel one shot#marvel imagine#loki imagine#smut
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
@gardensofthemoon thank you so much for the tag! It was super interesting reading your responses :D <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 51
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 465,678
3. What fandoms do you write for? Bold to assume I write at all I've always mainly just written for the Silm BUT I have recently become obsessed with The Locked Tomb series so miiiiiiight do some writing in that universe. At some point. Maybe.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Yield to the Moment takes the cake here, which is not surprising given that it's a 300k Angbang modern AU slowburn beast of a fic.
Then we've got Strange New World, set in my Swords 'verse, which takes a look at Melkor and Mairon post-Dagor Dagorath through a mental health-y and relationship/character study lens.
Third up is A bond once called fealty, also in the Swords 'verse.
Then there's The Metal Cage, which is shameless Angbang PWP focused on chastity play.
And finally A quiet sort of introspection, also part of the Swords 'verse, a bit experimental in the sense of taking Melkor's POV in second person.
5. Do you respond to comments? Always! I feel it's only fair if someone's taken the time to share their thoughts with me. Plus it's often such a fun, creative space where you get to bounce around ideas with the commenter.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Not entirely sure, actually. Don't think I tend to write particularly angsty endings. No Other Choice, maybe? It's about the Fëanorian attack on the Havens and the choice Elwing makes when she jumps into the sea.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably YTTM. I'm pretty pleased with the ending actually; feels like it pulls together a bunch of narrative threads and highlights all the amazing growth the characters have done. Also, it's a wedding at the end of a very long, very bumpy slowburn.
8. Do you get hate on fics? I have, yeah, years and years ago, around an abusive take on Angbang; but generally I find that the Silm fandom is very lovely and very welcoming.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do! Quite a lot of it haha. I think, for me, the appeal isn't so much the physical act in and of itself, but what's going on for the characters behind the scenes as it were, emotionally/psychologically. Especially with a ship like Angbang where they spectacularly fail at talking to each other so a lot of juicy unspoken stuff gets acted out through physical intimacy.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, never written a crossover, nor do they hold much appeal for me personally.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have. Sadly those fics had been written around 2015-16 and I deleted them a few years back at a time when my mental health was... spicy. I couldn't say whether the translations are still out there somewhere.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yep! YTTM started out as a co-write.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Angbang. There's just a lot of layers to their dynamic that scratch an itch in my brain. Power imbalance. Fucked-up-ness. Possessiveness/protectiveness. Worship. Loyalty.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've got a WIP from almost ten years ago about Celebrimbor in Gondolin and I'm not sure if the interest/time/motivation is still there for me to ever pick it up again :')
16. What are your writing strengths? Hmm I tend to put a fair amount of thought into characters' emotional experiences and I also enjoy playing around with fun ways to describe things.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I guess there's a flipside to focusing on emotional experiences in that sometimes I might humanise characters like the Ainur too much and lose some of their eldritchness. I also tend to be quite disorganised with my plotting, and by disorganised I mean that I just sit down and start writing without a plan or outline and sometimes I can end up scrambling to tie everything together and make it make sense and I'm not sure how effective that is. Also also, I don't find endings very easy to come up with.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Sure, if done purposefully in a way that furthers the plot or tells me something about the characters.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter, I think! Those fics are not on the internet anymore and that is probably for the best haha.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Ohhh see, I don't actually like my own writing very much (cheers, perfectionism) and I very very rarely re-read it. But I do think some bits in YTTM are fun, and my latest ficcy that I've written (Reason to Try) which is a ficcy of @tarmairons' ficcy kinda shifted something in my brain for the better and I revisit it sometimes on bad mental health days.
Let's see which lovely people to tag: @markedasinfernal, @elevenelvenswords, @undercat-overdog, @lvsifer, @foxindarkness and anyone else who sees this and would like to have a go (if you want to! zero pressure)
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so I was tagged three times lately so I am putting it all in one post XD
from least to most difficult askfhjadkhfjkdlhaf
from @hardboiledteacozy 💝
⟡ rules : answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!
⟡ fav color : green 💚
⟡ last song : Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier
⟡ last movie : Barbie (I haven't seen any movie since last year lol). tv series - 1670
⟡ currently reading : I just finished I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy and started 1F: Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant Work Log by Tatsuta Kazuto
⟡ currently watching : Dungeon Meshi 🍳
⟡ currently craving : some nice juicy oranges 😔 if anyone has tips on how to choose the best oranges, let me know pls
⟡ coffee or tea : I like coffee only if it's a sweet treat (so with milk and sugar or some sugary syrup); tea, however !! 🥰 a few days ago I opened a blend I got who knows how many years ago and from where or from whom, it's green and white tea, and it's soooo gooood~
from @minnichan 💗
Rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people. my url is too long for that lol
I have a playlist for songs I currently listen to, let's see if it's enought to complete this game… there's not a huge variety of artists tho ^^"
A - Appaloosa by Lor
S - Sinktank by Inabakumori
O - Overdose by Natori (hi minni!!!! I saw a cover of it in one of your asks lately!!! :3)
F - fanfiction by Lor (yes, that's a lyrics video on their official channel xd)
T - Tail by Sunmi (when will she come back to Poland TT__TT)
S - Sweet Dream from Alien Stage by C!naH / by BL8M (I have both versions on my playlist, yeah)
P - Post Shelter by Inabakumori
O - Order of Silence from Genshin (ost from Cyno's demo)
T - Trafalgar Square by Lor
F - FightSong by Eve
O - Overture from Jesus Christ Superstar 1996
R - Ruler Of My Heart from Alien Stage ( ‼ spoilers from Alien Stage here ‼ cw: blood, violence, death, panic attack)
A - agaki (亜ガキ) by Ora (sometimes the background music skips between left and right side and I love it)
N - Nonsense Bungaku by Eve
G - A Gentleman's Fantasy from Honkai Star Rail (amazing boss theme!!)
E - Ezra Was Right by Grandbrothers (this one starts quite slowly, if you're impatient you can start at 3:15 xD)
L - Lagtrain by Inabakumori
S - $hrek 2 by Lor (cw: guys without shirts fighting at school)
Lor is a Polish band that I recommend with my whole heart :3
many Eve's MVs are like short animes, I love them so so much
the whole Alien Stage is quite short, because it's basically made of music videos and there's less than 10 rn (here's a playlist for anyone interested) (but it can be quite triggering sometimes)
fuck gachas and their gambling, but genshin and star rail have amazing music
here's a very fun fact: I started listening to Eve and Inabakumori last year on April 17 and May 4 respectively, so about a year ago!!
from @dangerliesbeforeyou 💖
list 5 topics i can talk on for an hour without preparing any material
this one's difficult!!!! because I can endlessly talk about my fandoms and blorbos........only. I don't feel knowledgeable on anything specific, but I could, however, ramble on about my interests
I'm back to that Stardew Valley Grind™ rn so I could talk a lot about my farm. my first farm. year three, winter, and it's probably the ugliest farm you've ever seen. and. and also. my cyhaino sdv au brainrot. 😳
genshin, especially my ultimate blorbo Alhaitham 🌱 idk, I just like this guy, I saw first leaks and I was like 👉 this guy. this is my dude.
my babeys blue lions from fire emblem 3 houses 😭 I chose them in my first playthrough and I still do NOT care about anyone else (that's an exaggeration, I care about others, but... not as much... 😔) also, Sylvain is there and flirty red guys are my ultimate weakness. I know he can, just, switch to your house if you're playing female Byleth (lol), but I don't want to separate him from his friends 😭 they're all traumatised and need hugs
painting and drawing! lately I fell back in love in traditional art and I picked up acrylic painting, and I'm watching a lot of videos and learning a lot - by my own trial and error too, but it's fun!
various handcraft I learned - embroidery, crocheting, knitting, punch needle, sewing - and stuff I created. I don't do all these all the time, only when I feel like it so.....irregularly lol! but I have lots of ideas and some plans, and unfinished works
tagging: @natowe @one-trash-alek @hardboiledteacozy @dangerliesbeforeyou @minnichan
@vanyafresita @giosele @shuuenka @thebrokenwriter911
tagging everyone for everything, do whichever you want or nothing at all, no pressure ✨
(but I love reading other people's answers :3)
pretty dividers from @cafekitsune (x)
#Agnieszka talks#I had to separate the tagging because I couldn't @ more than 5 people in one line ._.
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Twenty questions for fanfic writers
I was tagged by @xxsksxxx. Thanks, friend! ❤️
Edited to add that @randomfoggytiger just tagged me too. Killing two birds with one stone here. Or something like that.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
76 in total, but only 57 of those are my own fics. The rest belong to two BATB writers who are no longer with us but whose works needed to be available on AO3.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
1,360,745 total. 587,663 of those are actually mine.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The X-Files, Beauty and the Beast (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire book series.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
These Scars We Wear
The Calling
Beggar's Banquet
Blessed Be (The Third Night)
Pas de deux
All of these are set in the ASOIAF universe.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yep! There was a stretch of about six years when I disconnected from all my fandoms and didn't respond to anything. Those days are past now and I make sure I always respond to any comment I get.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Pass You By (TXF)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
The Possibility of Being (BATB)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I used to be be a Smut Queen back in my OG TXF days. Not sure what's meant by "what kind"? Um, the kind that makes one hot and bothered? Het? Vanilla? I'll stop there.
I quit writing the more explicit stuff 'cuz I got bored with it. These days I'm more interested in the cerebral side of things.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
No. I have a hard enough time keeping a single set of characters in line. Can't imagine trying to do it for more than one 'verse at a time.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes. Someone from The Nanny fandom (who knew?) pilfered one of my TXF fics, changed the character names, and posted it. Weirdness.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, several. More than happy to give the go-ahead to requests like that.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, I wrote Doors with a fellow TXF writer named Alanna Baker. It was fun but I don't know that I'd want to do it again. I'm much more of a loner when it comes to writing.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Can't pick one and you can't make me. My favorites are the three I write for: Mulder and Scully, Vincent and Diana, Sandor and Sansa.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Sticks and Stones, a TXF casefile I started a really, really long time ago. I also have a BATB WIP I've been messing with for the past year or so but I don't know if it will ever see the light of day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, pacing, tone.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Will actually sitting down and writing be considered a proper answer? If so, that.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I did a few lines in Italian in one of my BATB fics but that's it. I can barely write in English, let alone another language! 😄
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Beauty and the Beast.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I'll give you one from each fandom.
TXF: Kintsugi. Not my most popular, but this one was effortless and there's nothing I'd go back and change. My take on Season 7 (aka The Season of Secret Sex).
BATB: The Possibility of Being (see above for the link). This entire project was a love letter not only to Vincent and Diana, but to my writing mentor, Nan Dibble.
ASOIAF (SanSan): These Scars We Wear. Link is above. Another love letter. This one to Sandor Clegane and his Little Bird. Because they deserve a happily ever after.
I figure this one has already made the rounds so I'm not going to tag anyone. Please consider playing if you've haven't been tagged and want to join in. It's fun!
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So I finished MK Legacy...
WTF WAS GOING ON???
(Spoiler for MK Legacy I guess...)
I already had watched season 1 a few years ago so I just need to breeze past season 2, which I mean having episodes be 5 minutes makes that easy.
It's funny cause I watched this hoping to find some new interesting ideas for my AU, but I'd already used the only interesting idea the show actually came up with. Having Hanzo and Bi Han be friends before the falling out is a great idea that adds a new layer to their rivalry and Bi Han's death felt more tragic and painful to watch.
BUT WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL OFF KUAI LIANG!?!?!?!
He would never hurt a child! This is slander!!!😤
Also they kept miss pronouncing Bi Han and Kuai Liang's names and it drove me up a wall. His name is Kuai not Kai. Why did no one correct this??????
The Scorpion suit looked really cool though. It's probably the only one that did.
To make a opinion shot here's a list of points.
To much cussing. I get it's an adult show but it felt super forced, especially when most the characters in game don't cuss.
I'm like 99% sure this show is responsible for the misunderstanding of what happened during the slaughter of the Shirai Ryu and I will forever hate it for that.
I don't know if this series is where the insult 'Shirai Ryu dog' came from, but if it did that might be it's best contribution to MK lore.
They got the GOAT back for Shang Tsung and I can't believe that.
Everyone is so out of character it's painful.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, I like the actor who played Liu Kang, I don't like him as Liu Kang.
Edge lord Liu Kang sucks.
They turned Liu Kang and Kung Lao against each other and that's some BS.
They spelt Kung Lao's name wrong WTFFF
Kung Lao feels more like Raiden then Kung Lao.
Additionally Liu Kang feel more like Kung Lao then Liu Kang.
I can't even remember if Raiden showed up...
Season 1 was mid.
I don't like Johnny Cage or Kenshi in this.
To expand on point 4, I like a lot of the actors in this, they are very talented and I've seen them in other things. However, they're miscast so hard in this series. They're great actors but none of them fit the vibe of the character they're playing. I hate it.
Ya, this series sucked. 2/10.
(My headcannon is that Stryker got his gun back and won the tournament, cause my man needs a W.)
Mortal Kombat Conquest is next. Lets hope I get more out of that then I did this.
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if you’re up to it i would very much like to know your white collar neal timeline🎤🎤
this turned out to have many asides and be very long so the tl;dr is: peter have you considered that he's just a twenty-something teenage girl :( ?
timeline:
neal born 1984 ish. he's an aries and a millennial
neal, ellen, and neal's mom go into witsec 1987, neal age 3
2003 adler scandal i fucking guess. neal age 19
neal arrested probably mid 2005, 21
neal goes to jail for the first time, i want to say early 2006, age almost 22
pilot is set late summer 2009, age 25
same-sex marriage legalized in new york june 24th 2011, they talk about this in season 3 episode 14 which is soon after. neal's 27
more or less a year later–let's go with less–neal tells sam that he has spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18. taking him literally that it was 10 years ago he is now 28 it is the end of season 4 and 2012
the end of season 4 to the series finale is less than a year. he is 29 its 2013.
when we see him in paris he might be 30 but that doesn't count To Me
i present my evidence:
i don't know where we got "neal is 35" from i cant make it work. neal and co. went into witsec (which i have actually since learned is not available to people living in dc, they have their own version but it is not overseen by the federal marshalls, i don't think they can give you as many legal documents like a ssn, and they don't help you set up your new life as much? something about neal's life that would be interesting to explore.) when he was three and ellen says in season 4 that she's been in witsec for Nearly three decades. confirmed 33 or under in season 4
he also says to "sam" more than once that he's spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18–he very well could be rounding down here and mean like 12-13 years but i am Choosing to Believe he meant that literally. we are now at youngest 28, it is the last episode of season 4.
now due to the way the show is structured and the fact that it is never really winter. ok maybe winter 1 time because i can see in my mind neal in his little wool coat and earmuffs but largely it is summer and we never have a christmas episode. anyway due to All That our only real anchor in the timeline is that the episode where diana is Grappling with her engagement to Christie happens immediately following june 24th 2011, when same-sex marriage was legalized in new york. and also that later that season in the commutation hearing they say that neal has served 2 years of his sentence. so the pilot was set in 2009 when it aired we are at one year/season. but as the series goes on the episodes and even seasons have increasingly shorter gaps between them, and by season 6 we haven't even finished our four years. by the end of season 4 i want to say we are three years into his sentence and he's 28. between the end of season 4 and when neal dies in season 6 there has got to be less than a year that passes. actually deadass why was neal so obsessed with the pink panther case ending his sentence early we are like months out king. i get the injustice the system is broken they'd keep him forever but to people outside his circle he must have looked sooo silly for that. but whatever. he is 29 when he dies and 30 when we see him again in paris, his roaring 20s of crime and incarceration over.
Anyway where the "neal is 35 or at least claims to be much older than this timeline would say he is" probably came from in-universe is that the adler scandal takes place SEVEN years before s2 when peter confronts neal about it. 2003?????? guys the thing we have to understand, to embrace, about neal's personal timeline is that i do not think anyone in that writers room was really grasping how much they had neal do in so short a time. 2003 he is like 19 guys. maybe by the time peter says it was 7 years ago it was 2011 ? and the adler thing was 2004? but no that couldn't work because it's mid 2011 like a year later in s3. so basically neal walks out of st louis and has a magical girl transformation through which he immediately becomes a great conman and criminal. and he meets mozzie basically straight away. he should still be in like calculus and ap lit at this juncture. and then they go right into the adler con ??? and neal is obviously lying through his teeth to everyone saying he is at least 21 but probably more along the lines of 23. and while most of his aliases are eventually found out by peter if no one else, no one ever goes "wait IS HE a teenager?" no one is guessing this.
so we spend a couple months fucking around and fucking UP with adler, kate probably doesn't know how old we actually are, this relationship cannot actually last very long at all because we are truly on a time crunch right now. we have less than three years for neals entire criminal career before he goes to jail. i know i said on the bullet list he went to jail early 2006 he has got to have been arrested like summer 2005 at the latest to be tried and sentenced by then and i feel like even that might be tight because he was suspected of so many other things they wanted to get evidence for. but how is neal teaching kate to be a criminal less than a year into his own career. i think neal must have been a hardcore improv kid for this to work honestly. i bet he competed. so our golden days of mozzie neal and kate against the world lasts maybe a year at best before neal and kate fight and she leaves and he spends months trying to get her back and get her attention and commits a truly breathtaking amount of crimes in this time.
also i'm skipping through forging bonds right now trying to flesh out this timeline and it was incredibly shady of peter and co to see that kate is doing so much to stay hidden from her ex boyfriend and then to reveal her to neal in order to catch him. like that was fucked up they didn't know neal yet he hadn't been suspected of violent crimes but they didn't know why kate was working so hard to escape him. like it worked out ok (arguably, but that could be a different post) but they had no reason to trust neal not to hurt her like this. she could have been running from an abusive situation he's known to be a talented criminal with no fears about escalating his crimes he could have killed her. one thing about the fbi is that they never once care about kate's safety and it does indeed get her killed one day.
in conclusion neal is known as one of the best forgers in the world when he is arrested in 2005 at age 21 maybe 2 years into his criminal career. here i am 21 what have i accomplished
#hiiiiiii LOVE your wc fic explorations of neals childhood are everything To Me and really your characterization of danny brooks is exactly#the kind of child neal would have to be for him to have been essentially a child prodigy at white collar crime#truly hes gotta be canon#also one more thing why is james in that flashback like have a good day at school 🥰 or whatever. neal is 2 or 3 and his mom didnt seem#to work so he didnt have daycare. where tf is he going#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk future talks will discuss my conflicting opinions on how neal and kates relationship is treated#in canon and how neal was obviously not an early 2000s emo kid but frankly? maybe he should have been. good night#white collar#poplars.txt#just put this throufh a word counter 1200??? sorry.#this post is nearly twice the word count of the assignment i was procrastinating while i wrote it 🧍
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20 questions for Fic Writers
Omg it took me ages to get to this but better late than never! Thanks for the tags @rosie-b, @monpetitchattriste, @lesbitorte, @kasienda and @celestialtitania!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Um. 107*... It's possible that I have a problem 😂
(*one is on anon. more on that later adfdsd)
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
801,972!!! (fun fact i was just below 800k the first time i got tagged in this game so i was like "oh well i'm posting a new chapter tomorrow...i'll do this game after that so i can pass that milestone!" and then i posted the chapter but it took me close to a week to do this ahaha)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
mostly just ml. i have a few spop fics too but i don't really write for that fandom anymore. or at least not right now.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Gah. okay. I'm going to answer this honestly but to do that I first need to explain that my most kudoed fic is on anon because I'm annoyed it's my most kudoed fic aksjfbksdb. Like. It's only so popular because there's a bit of lila salt? and really the fic isn't about that but i don't really write that kind of thing anymore and i don't want ppl coming to my profile and sorting by kudos and seeing that first. There are other things i'd do a lot differently in that fic now too ahaha.
Break a Leg
Cards Against Ladybug's Identity
Ladybug And The Tramp Stamp
Imaginary Friends
The Sun Will Rise Again
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do!! I reply to pretty much every comment--unless it's particularly rude/rubs me the wrong way. I know commenting takes time and I appreciate the effort ppl put into it so I like to give my thanks back!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. Although I think Girl Is A Gun is a strong contender too?
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uh...well, most of my fics have happy or at least hopeful endings. I don't think I can narrow this down to just a few haha.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I don't think I've ever gotten hate? Definitely some comments that aren't super nice but nothing too bad. (now i've probably gone and jinxed it 😂)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
um. a little tiny bit but not enough to have a particular kind LOL. i've only posted it once so far. but i also have Entangled, which will have smut in the next chapter--and that's angsty smut. which i suppose would be my brand of smut if i ever write any more
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i haven't! i entertained the idea of an ml/spop crossover a couple years ago but i don't have any interest in it anymore. oh and i ALSO had an idea for a marigami spyxfamily crossover. but i don't know if i'll ever get around to that
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of! (*knocks on forehead since no wood is nearby*)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
no, but that would be super cool!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i have not! a few times i've planned to write things with other ppl but nothing that ever really made it to the writing stage ahaha. although the littlebug vday zine is a collab in the form of a series--not exactly co-written but similar vibes
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
to write for, definitely the love square. and then catradora is so special to me because it got me back into writing and also i started IDing as a lesbian in part because i binged spop.
aside from that i can't really decide because like. there are so many shows i've seen and books i've read and ships i've loved for so many different reasons asdfbk. and then i have OC ships that only live in my head but that i love to play with sometimes before i fall asleep at night. so please don't make me choose!!
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
uh. i would say none of them? because it's only when i completely lose interest in a fic that i lose the belief i'll finish it. and that's only happened with maybe two of my wips i can think of?
16. What are your writing strengths?
Depicting emotions! And using the setting to do that by establishing the mood/tone/etc...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i guess like...self-doubt? not that i'm awful with it. in general i think i'm pretty good that way. but it's my biggest barrier to writing when i have periods where i get in my head about my writing, and it can make me overthink and not know if i LIKE my writing. and i think my writing is at its best when i'm having fun with it (which is probably true of most ppl), so...
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i think it makes sense when the characters are actually speaking that language for a short time but aren't speaking it for most of the fic? like i have one ml AU set in new york so they're speaking english for most of it and i used french for the first couple lines that were french (and weaved the translations into the narrative). so that's the only time i do that personally--aside for maybe one word lines like bonjour--but as a reader it doesn't usually bother me when i see it used other ways
19. First fandom you wrote for?
ahaha the Vampire Academy book series. and NO you won't find those fics anywhere, even though they are still out there somewhere
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
currently Say Something. and i very much wish i could finish writing it, but it'll happen when it happens!
I think most people I would have tagged have probably been tagged by this point...likely more than once 😂. So whoever else wants to play should do so!!
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13 Book Tag Game
Tagged by: @bubblegum-blackwood Thank you! 💞
1) The last book I read:
The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice. I'm currently doing my annual re-read of TVC from start to finish but it's taking me longer than last time for some reason.
2) A book I recommend:
Loveless by Alice Oseman. Ik it's not the only book out there to explore asexuality and being aromantic as well, but it's the first one I personally read and I think it's a really good example of it.
3) A book that I couldn’t put down:
A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson. Predictably, it's more vampires lmao. I wasn't initially sure about how I would feel reading something in second person, but it actually works really well imo. I really love how it's told by one of Dracula's brides; I can really get into the characters, and understand her situation.
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):
So many of my books I've read several times, but one in particular is Wolf Brother by Michelle Paver. Actually just the whole Chronicles of Ancient Darkness series. I grew up on them, and I've read the whole series several times over. I like that it's set six thousand years ago, because I don't think I've personally ever read anything in the fantasy kind of genre in that time period. This series has a special place in my heart.
5) A book on my TBR:
I have too many. I think one that I do really want to get to though, is Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. I've wanted to read it for a few years now, and I've had the book since last year but I haven't gotten round to it yet.
6) A book I’ve put down:
Normal People by Sally Rooney. I got it as a birthday present from someone in my family a few years ago, and when I saw what it was about it didn't sound like my kind of thing but I figured I'd give it a chance. Yeah, it wasn't doing it for me lmao. I was bored tbh and the lack of speech marks around dialogue was confusing me. Overall it just wasn't my type of thing anyway and I only got a few pages in before I put it down.
7) A book on my wish list:
I've been really wanting to get a copy of the Grimm's complete fairy tales. I know some of how a few of the fairy tales originally go, but I've been wanting to read them all properly for years now.
8) A favorite book from childhood:
War Horse by Michael Morpurgo. I read this book religiously as a child. I would read it and then as soon as I was done, I'd read it again. I'm honestly not sure why, but there was clearly something about it that resonated with me, even as a kid. I actually still have the same copy I owned as a child, I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. It's very special to me.
9) A book you would give to a friend:
The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. Idk what you want me to say lmao. It's LOTR, everyone should read it. I know it's a trilogy, not just one book, so I am cheating a bit here, but it's too good not to mention. It's fantasy at its finest, what can I say.
(I was gunna say Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, but that's obvious coming from me and I don't want this whole thing to be overrun with TVC lmao.)
10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:
I won't lie, I don't actually have any of either, I've never really been interested in things like that. It's just not my thing.
11) A nonfiction book you own:
Buried by Professor Alice Roberts. I haven't actually read it yet, but it goes into looking at burials from centuries ago and how people would have lived in different periods of time, based on burial sites.
12) What are you currently reading:
The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice. Again, this is because I'm doing my annual re-read of TVC, but it's taking me an unusually long time to get through it this time round.
13) What are you planning on reading next?:
Apart from moving onto The Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice, I think the next thing I want to get to is Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. I've never read it before (Ik don't shoot me), not because I didn't want to, but just because I never got round to it. But I got it recently so I'll be reading it soon!
Tagging: @desertfangs @teethingpains @cinnamonclove but no pressure of course ❤
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Literally nobody asked for this, but hey that's the joy of tumblr - talk about what you wanna talk about, and fic writing is important to me! So I've taken it upon myself to do these questions that have been swimming around and if you're reading this, that's an open invitation to do the same lol.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
19 on my current Ao3 account. There's an old account kicking around somewhere with a handful more, but they're sort of orphaned.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
622,253k words, so the statistics page tells me. Again, current acc only.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The Starless Sea is my main baby, (the book by Erin Morgenstern). I also write Harry Potter fic, have threatened to (and may yet) write Twilight fic, and will happily write fic for anything if I feel strongly enough about the story! And, of course, back in the day, really, really bad One Direction fic lol.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel by far and away the top
2. Firebug Book I: Chiân Maeroris and the Secret Library of Fire
3. The Asset of Loneliness
4. Firebug Book II: Chiân Maeroris and the Monster of Slytherin
5. Nightmares apparently! Did not realise that ahaha
This was different to sorting by hit count, which is interesting! Hits wise number 5 would be Flowers <3 my beloved.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Absolutely! Not like, strictly - there are plenty I have left unanswered, but if they ask a question or leave a thoughtful comment I'm more often than not gonna respond. I've made genuine friends that way, and it's a lovely way to engage with the fan community.
Particularly as I primarily at the moment write fic for a very small fandom where basically everyone knows each other - we have a discord and I will often personally invite a commenter to join the discord if they are new, but even past that these stories mean so much to me and I have historically just been so DESPERATE to talk about them that actually sometimes a really excited comment signals someone who is gonna be a great friend to get excited with about it.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ooph that's a good quebbin. Probably the second Firebug book? Monster of Slytherin. I mean, that series is designed to get darker and darker, so it leaves quite a few things intentionally unresolved, and the main characters in significantly worse predicaments to where they started.
God I gotta finish that series.
Also one person got really rather upset with me about the ending of Fateheart, ranting for a GOOD long while about how painful the ending was, but I think the general consensus there is that, yes, even though it comes at a cost, the ending is overwhelmingly a satisfying conclusion?? I think??? I think it's a good ending lol.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Fateheart hahahaha. Hmm I mean, this is hard to quantify, right?
I have a saying about fic, which is 'the deeper the break the deeper the catharsis' which only works when both are done well, but I think you could argue that the greatest catharsis - and therefore the fic where the ending is happiest compared to the narrative lows, would be A Heart That Won't Break. But only someone who has literally lost the plot would name that a happy fic.
Probably The Ugly-Sweater-Verse, by measure of how warm and cosy the end makes you feel, but it's too much of a one-shot really to have had time to develop enough narrative to even really have an 'ending', structurally speaking. I'm way overthinking this.
How 'bout Flowers, coz they have really good sex. There.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nah, not really. One or two people really like picking apart the plot holes in my Harry Potter fic, but I think picking apart Harry Potter is something of an international passtime. Also one comment I remember from years ago said something like "this is riddled with inconsistencies but your writing is awesome so I don't care" which is hilarious. Shoutout that commenter. I swear to god I'm gonna deal with the veritaserum problem in the next book if it ever gets written.
Nobody's said anything close to mean on any Starless Sea fics, but we all pretty much know each other and a nicer group of people you could not hope for <3
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Mm, more than I used to!
There is a standing joke amongst our little fandom that my 'smut' is outstandingly not smutty - I think I write erotica, rather than smut. Which, like. Hard to judge. But anything sexually explicit in my writing is usually so whimsical and figurative that it hardly constitutes smut even when it is like overtly gay sex lmao.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Hmm, I haven't, but I would absolutely one day. I had an idea a while ago called the Seinfeld Glory Meld or something which was an episodic fic series in which a set of characters from a show or a movie or anything would suddenly find themselves in a specific setting following a certain storyline and each time it would just slowly morph into an episode of Seinfeld, except that all the characters would keep returning and they would be sentiently aware that they were trapped inside the show Seinfeld and it was hilarious and I think i had a fever at the time of coming up with this and I will never write it but I remember meticulously outlining it to my brother over like 83 messages lmao.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
YES. It was weirdly upsetting, but also just very, very strange? Like exactly a chapter and a half of Fateheart got reposted by somebody - and like, it wasn't even a particularly coherent chapter and a half? Like, it's not like it was a portion that made sense on its own. I was half inclined to think it was a bot somehow, except that they did all the tagging and even wrote a description about it being like "A short exploration of life after the end of the book. Enjoy!"
It felt really shitty and they disabled comments, but I reported it to Ao3 and like 3 months later they did in fact get back to me saying yeah, that was obviously stolen, and removed it. god bless the Ao3 team.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Aw not as yet, but a very sweet friend of mine on our discord has been working on translating bits of Fateheart into Italian! That is a HUGE undertaking and I don't evny them lol, but I am so, so flattered that they even wanted to try, and it will be SO cool to see any parts they finish!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope! Though I am threatening to... Starless Sea book 4 look out
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Mm the Interceptor from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Just kidding it is Zachary and Dorian from The Starless Sea.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Ouufhgjhg I am kinda feeling this way about all my major fics right now - I have a rule of not posting something unless it is completed, so these aren't up even though they both exist at about 2/3rds - Fever Pitch and Lotus Flowers.
I do, however, know that I care enough about the characters from The Starless Sea to actually finish these though.
Unlike the Firebug series. Which I really hope to return to one day, because the whole 7-part book series will be KILLER, but let's be real who knows if it's ever gonna happen. A 7 part fic series of full length books is nutso ambitious.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Mmm, I'm very good at character development, and I have a natural prose style that is evocative and descriptively rich. I am fortunate enough to have been mentally steeped in very good writing ever since I was a wee babbie so texturally that is easily reciprocated.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Ach. I am literally so bad at being concise. I cannot do it. Look at the word count for any of my major fics. The ones I consider short stories are novel length. The ones I consider full length works are 3 books' worth of words.
Tried to write an outline for an AU recently and the document hit like 20 pages. Good job me. I was writing a full scene with dialogue by the middle and just never finished the outline lol.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I do this occasionally, but only to the effect of adding one or two words in a native tongue, and never without also providing translation. Not in a clunky way, either - not a fan of anything that breaks the prosodic mode, like a parenthetical translation or a footnote or something - but equally it doesn't have to be a diegetic translation. I think there's usually a comfortable middle ground.
For instance I most often use Arabic terms of endearment between Zachary and Dorian, and the types of scenes where it comes most naturally also lend themselves to repeating it and answering it in a way which makes it clear if not what word exactly is being said, at least what that word means here.
Other than that I default to like, '"yo my Cantonese is shit" he said in Mandarin'. Don't assume a reader reading in English is familiar with anything else unless you have contextual reason to do so.
But also, obfuscating the meaning intentionally because the characters also don't speak that language can be a fun gimmick.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
One Direction. lmao. Well, that's the first fandom I ever posted fic on the internet for. If we're counting me scribbling stories in my special notebooks under the covers at age 10 then probably Garth Nix's Old Kingdom series. Lirael forever.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel just in terms of like, how much that story has changed my life. The community it has helped build, the friends it has brought into my life, and the way it absolutely launched me headlong into the development of a world and a timeline in this story that I am now fully committed to seeing through in a way which will take me several years of creative work.
Possibly The Man Named Sky is up there, as is Death in the Valley (I have found my groove with the short novella-style standalone stories), and I am really proud of the Firebug books, though the best is yet to come there. But I think I'm really, REALLY proud of A Heart That Won't Break. I think it is quietly, secretly one of my best pieces of writing maybe ever.
This was fun to do. Nobody tagged me, but I'm gonna tag @thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole, fellow Starless Sea fic-writer extraordinaire and one of my faves.
ANSWER THESE FIC QUEBBINS <3
#fanfiction#Ao3#Q&A#The Starless Sea#fic#fanfic#writing#creative writing#personal post#Zachary/Dorian#Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel
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Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury reminded me that I actually do enjoy watching anime, and since I have a bit of a backlog of ones I’ve either watched a few episodes or haven’t started at all, I was inspired by this post to make a scorecard of anime that I intend to watch over the course of this year.
My self-imposed rules are I will not start any other anime before I have finished these 16 (with the exception of Witch from Mercury, see below), I will be watching them with Japanese voice acting and subs, and that, gvien my experience with watching Witch from Mercury on a weekly basis, I won’t try to binge and instead watch an episode or two each day, since that will fit better into how busy life can get, and also give me more time to really think about what I just watched before moving on.
The shows above are listed in chronological order of release (1979-2023), but not the order I’ll necessarily watch them in (I like having the freedom to pick and choose), with additional notes below:
1.) Mobile Suit Gundam (1979; dir. Yoshiyuki Tomino): A more experienced Gundam fan who is also fond of Revolutionary Girl Utena recommended this and War in the Pocket (see below) if I was curious about other Gundam shows. Since I’ve been meaning to watch some older anime for awhile anyway, this seemed like a good series to start with, especially with its historical importance to the medium. I have previewed the first episode and I think it holds up well so far. I will only be watching the 43 episodes of the original anime at this time, so not the movie compilations or the sequel series like Zeta or ZZ (yet).
2.) Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989; dir. Fumihiko Takayama): I mentioned that I would permit myself freedom to choose the watch order, but since War in the Pocket is a side-story set around the same period as Mobile Suit Gundam, I feel it would be better to watch the former after the latter, so that I’ll have a better understanding of the setting.
3.) Goldfish Warning! (1991; dir. Junichi Sato): Goldfish Warning! has an interesting history, in that it’s something of a predecessor to Sailor Moon: the latter would reprise the former’s timeslot, much of its staff (including the director and his assistants, among which was a young Kunihiko Ikuhara), and a similar style of slapstick comdey. As a bonus, I’m 99% certain that one of the leads, Chitose Fujinomiya, would serve as inspiration for the Revolutionary Girl Utena character, Nanami Kiryuu. I will be watching both the 45 episode anime series and its accompanying film.
4.) Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995; dir. Hideaki Anno): The thing that piqued my interest in this show was a short review that I read years ago (don’t remember when or where), and that may have been translated from Japanese iirc. The review talked about how gender roles in Eva were inverted compared to mecha shows that came before it, such as how Shinji acted more like stereotypical female characters from such shows, while Asuka acted like what you’d expect from stereotypical male characters. I don’t know how true that observation is, but it stuck with me, and I’ll be keeping an eye out for that. I will be watching the original 26 episodes as well as the End of Evangelion film. I’m debating if I also want to include the Rebuild of Evangelion films, but I’m currently leaning towards watching those sometime later.
5.) FLCL (2000; dir. Kazuya Tsurumaki): I watched the first four episodes at a con, but never finished, so I’ll be doing a rewatch from the first episode. I’ll be watching the original OVA series, but leave the sequel seasons for another time.
*6.) Princess Tutu (2002; dir. Junichi Sato & Shogo Koumoto): I needed to watch this anime after watching an amv of it titled Dance of Death (it’s got spoilers, including for what I’m assuming are the last episodes, but if you don’t mind that or have already seen it, I highly recommend giving it a gander). I watched ‘til around episode 16~ until real life interrupted, so I’m starting over and watching it from the beginning. This is the first of the three shows I’m currently watching, and up next is Ep. 02.
7.) Michiko & Hatchin (2008; dir. Sayo Yamamoto): Multiple reviewers I trust said it was good, the setting and premise sound pretty different from anime norms, and I’m intrigued by the bit of trivia that apparently the director made it explicitly for office ladies to enjoy after coming home from their shift.
8.) Star Driver (2010; dir. Takuya Igarashi): Pretty sure I learned about Star Driver from this chart tracing the work of some of the members of Be-Papas (not *everything* anime-related comes back to Revolutionary Girl Utena, but a lot of it does, yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). I’ll be watching the series, but I’m not sure about the movie since apparently it’s a compilation film, so I’ll have to think about it.
9..) Penguindrum (2011; dir. Kunihiko Ikuhara & Shouko Nakamura): I’ve heard mixed opinions on this one, but it’s an Ikuhara-directed anime so I want to watch regardless, and form my own opinions about it. I’ll watch the 24 episodes, but I’m not sure about the Re:cycle films that came out recently.
10.) Mob Psycho 100 (2016; dir. Yuzuru Tachikawa, Takahiro Hasui): Someone made a vhs recording of the show’s first OP that ran on loop, and that was apparently enough to lodge itself in my brain. I watched the first season and a couple episodes of the second, until real life interrupted, so I’ll start fresh and watch all three seasons, plus the two OVAs that were apparently made.
11.) Sarazanmai (2019; dir. Nobuyuki Takeuchi & Kunihiko Ikuhara): Another Ikuhara-directed anime. I was halfway through before real life interruptions, but watching 11 episodes should be relatively easy.
12.) Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle (2020; dir. Mitsue Yamazaki): In retrospect, I slept on this show, as I hadn’t realized it was another comedy by the director of Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun, not to mention that the premise is a nice subversion of a classic fantasy trope.
13.) Shadows House (2021; dir. Kazuki Ouhashi): I dug the gothic fantasy vibe I got from the review I read. I will be watching both seasons.
*14.) Bocchi the Rock! (2022; dir. Keiichirou Saitou): Repeatedly saw the protagonist compared to Suletta Mercury due to social anxiety, and am staying for the show’s willingness to experiment with animation. This is the second of the three shows I’m currently watching, and up next is Ep. 05.
*15.) Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (2022; dir. Hiroshi Kobayashi & Ryou Andou): The whole reason I started watching this show was this post. And now I have brainrot am perfectly normal about this show. Starting with Ep. 02, I watched this show every Sunday it was out, and intend to resume doing so in April. It is possible that I might not be able to finish this show in 2023, since previous Gundam shows have run about ~50-ish episodes, and this show’s predecessor, Iron-Blooded Orphans, was initially slated to run only 25 episodes, only to reveal that the show length had been doubled in what would have been the last episode. So, I’ll finish Witch from Mercury in either 2023 or 2024.
*16.) The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (2023; dir. Shingo Tamaki): Another lead compared to Suletta, this time due to rescuing a bride from her jerk fiance and being really gay. This is the third of the three shows I’m currently watching, and up next is Ep. 04.
#anime#mobile suit gundam#mobile suit gundam 0080: war in the pocket#goldfish warning!#kingyo chuuihou!#neon genesis evangelion#flcl#princess tutu#michiko & hatchin#star driver#penguindrum#mob psycho 100#sarazanmai#sleepy princess in the demon castle#shadows house#bocchi the rock!#mobile suit gundam: the witch from mercury#the magical revolution of the reincarnated princess and the genius young lady#my writing
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Got tagged by two lovely people @borntogayz and @wisteria-wisteria!
star sign: Sagittarius! Born in December so I have to wait veeery long to celebrate stuff but then I can have two celebrations almost back to back with christmas coming up.
favorite holiday: German/Austrian carnival/Fasching! It's the time before the last 40 days before Easter holidays. There are several comedy shows to watch both live and on TV, everyone dresses up and it's generally a time to joke around!
last meal: made by my awesome grandma: spinach with potatoes, fried eggs and sausages.
current favorite musician: I like to listen to comedy music a lot and it's pretty much the only thing I listen to (that's not video game music). So I'd have to go with Tom Cardy.
last song listened to: "Wigglytuffs Guild" from the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon - Explorers of Sky soundtrack! It's my alarm :D
last movie watched: Frozen 2 lol. It played on TV before Christmas.
last tv show watched: Honestly don't know, I haven't really watched any shows recently. Either Good Omens season 2 when it came out or The Dragon Prince.
last book/fic finished:
Book: Scum Villain's Self Saving System Volume 4. I was deep into the danmei trenches before f1.
Fic: don't take too much (off of me) by the amazing @wisteria-wisteria! Highly recommend, it's short, funny and a perfect mix of angsty pining and fluff.
last book/fic abandoned:
Book: Probably a Warrior Cats book. Two years ago I had a sudden spike in interest in reliving this part of my childhood, bought a lot of the books I had missing and stopped reading in the middle of... season 3 I think?
Fic: "Entirely out of spite" by bgtea. I loved it but I fell out of the Genshin Impact fandom a while ago.
currently reading: Too many things open in my tabs to say exactly.
last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: Lots of things for my planned Lestappen AU. You can probably guess what it is based on the google history:
Dutch sweets
Ontbijtkoek recipe
Daily schedule of a baker
When do shops open in monaco
Rent prices in Monaco
favorite online fandom memory: I've only been active in fandom since I started writing for f1! The amazing people I met through F1blr and got to chat with will be my most treasured fandom memory for sure!!
favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: I'm content with being where I am right now.
favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: The Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series have a pretty active fandom but not a very big one (I think). It's my favourite game series of all time so I think it deserves a big fandom.
tempting project you don't have time for: Sooo many AU ideas. I have sunk my teeth into two, one interesting one and a rather niche one, which I will both finish someday, but the poor rest will probably end up abandoned :(
don't really know who has already done this, so feel free to ignore the tag!
I'm tagging @laura1633 @ravenrage27 and @charlclerc ! <3
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Got tagged by the fantastic @wykart ahh thank you for the tag!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
32, most of which are Doctor Who!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
859,228!! (but it's gonna keep climbing until I finish posting part 6 of campervan sksk)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Pretty much just Doctor Who right now, but I have posted fics for Stargate Universe, Marvel and The Greatest Showman. And then I have written for other fandoms - most notably Venom, which I never posted anything for but I did get 40k into a multichapter one time.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
In this order: Liminality, Tropospheric Disturbance, campervan part 1, watchfires and Renegades in the Ring (my TGS fic that I never finished, rip in pieces)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I always try and respond to comments!! Mostly because I love talking about my fics and also don't know when to shut up hahaha - but I also have some absolutely fantastic commenters who have such interesting things to say! And also like, idk I really appreciate people taking the time to comment, so I reckon it's polite to say thank you at least. The only time I don't reply to comments, mostly, is if it's a REALLY long comment and I just don't have the energy rip (but when that happens I definitely read and cherish the comment dearly haha)
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. MOST OF THEM RIP. I'm genuinely not sure because I always try and end my fics on a vaguely uplifting note. Maybe Campervan Part 4, simply because of all the uni-era angst? But tbh the ending of Part 6 is definitely a contender, now I think about it. Canon-fic wise, though.......hmm I think it's got to be notches in your spine, since that ends with the Doctor just straight up leaving the Master without warning sksksk
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hm. I think I'm gonna go with In the Wind for this one, which is hilarious since I wrote it THREE YEARS AGO, but it's a multi-chapter mid-series adventure that rounds itself off in a satisfying way, with everything being resolved nicely, so I think that's a decent contender!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Hm, no, other than people complaining about the show in an attempt to compliment my writing, but that's stopped for the most part since I got annoyed about it in my author's notes one time ksksks. I did get a weird comment recently that started out very complimentary but then turned really weird in a pretty upsetting way (and, frankly, it would have been very triggering if that sort of topic had been something that was something that affected me a lot? Luckily it wasn't, but the commenter did NOT know that). So I just deleted the comment because I didn't want that sort of thing in my comment section, especially when I know other readers comment lurk.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No I'm sex-repulsed lol
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I wrote a crossover that was The Greatest Showman crossed with the X-Men Comics one time SKSKSKSKSK (and it was specifically the comics not the films, I did so much research on historical terminology for mutants HAHA) which was actually SO much fun - I never finished it, but I do think back on it very fondly. But I'd class that as more of an 'x-men au' rather than a crossover tbh, bc it was wholly focused on the TGS characters.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't believe so
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! We never finished it LOL
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Currently spydoc, but this will probably change. I have a MASSIVE soft spot for rush/young from sgu, clintasha from the MCU, newt/hermann from PacRim, and symbrock from Venom.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hmmmm there's a bunch, but probably The Grandfather Paradox? I genuinely love that one so much. But who knows, maybe one day. I feel like it would make a great pitch for a Big Finish audio sksk. Oh, and Deathless will probably never happen. I'm not going to put Trestle on this list because I am SO DETERMINED to finish it some day HAHAH. Oh - and I don't think I'll ever finished Trouble With Entropy, which was my unfinished Venom fic, or Renegades (aforementioned TGS fic) even though I love them a lot, it's just....very unlikely at this point rip.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Going off what other people have said to me, I'm good at creative immersive worlds! Which is mostly because I really want my stories to feel 'lived in', so to speak, and broader than what you actually see in the immediate plot. I think I'm also pretty good at pacing, and also writing narrative prose with a character voice! The latter one I definitely pushed myself with when writing part 6 of campervan, as well as my recent doctormaster oneshot, where I had to weave together both the doctor AND the master's characterisation into one seamless pov
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I definitely worry too much about making sure the reader DEFINITELY gets what I'm trying to say, and so sometimes I'm repetitive and I hammer things home a bit that can be more subtle. I also think that sometimes I can be a bit repetitive in my longer fics where I know a gap needs to be filled but I'm not sure with what sksksks. There are other things too. I definitely struggle writing shorter things and getting to the point and TRUSTING that the reader will come with me. I often feel this urge to make sure all the steps are there for the reader to follow where I want them to go.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Oooh so I actually did this in campervan part 5 with Gabriela and Jamila speaking a bit of Portuguese! And I think there's like, obviously nuance to it, but when I had the pov characters who understood portuguese (namely Jamila in the prologue), I had the dialogue in portuguese, but the translation in the prose, either literally just next to the dialogue or explained in the narration by Jamila. But then in later chapters, when Yaz is trying to talk to Gabriela, because Gabriela is upset she's occasionally saying things in Portuguese....but Yaz doesn't understand them. So they don't get translated. And so I think that works for the story in that context, bc what Gabriela actually SAYS is less important and it's more showing the emotion of it. Another case I can think of was in Force Over Distance by cleanwhiteroom who wrote a LOT of ancient into the fic (which is basically latin) and when it was on ao3 there was this sort of 'hover to translate' thing which worked REALLY WELL, bc the translation was there but it didn't disrupt the flow of the fic.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Okay so I wanna know what counts here - if it's like, the first fic i POSTED, then that's Marvel (specifically the Avengers). If it's the first fic I wrote when I actually understood what 'fandom' was, then...I think that was also Avengers....or maybe BBC Sherlock. If it's the first thing I actually WROTE DOWN properly, then it was Doctor Who (specifically Ten and Rose and my oc companion sksk). If it was the first thing I played with creatively for media that wasn't my own...then that was probably me coming up with elaborate ocs out of two unicorns on the credits for the My Little Pony vhs tape we had SKSKSKSK SO. I don't know. One or all of those.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Oh this is hard because I'm proud of a lot of what I've written. My gut reaction at the moment is actually Trestle, even though it's unfinished and no one has read it HAHAH but I'm just so proud of some of the writing in that so far. And I'm extremely proud of Campervan AU as a whole entity. However I do really really love see me bare my teeth for you - which I actually forget about a LOT because it's not one of my thoschei fics sksksk. But I'm super proud of how that one turned out. And then also and they did live by watchfires because that one just has such a special place in my heart.
THANKS FOR THE TAG LIV!!! I'm gonna tag hmmmmmmm @sunshinedaysforever @taardisblue @novantinuum @emptyofdust @strikingtwelves @walker-lister aaaaah basically anyone else that wants to do this! :D
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I have not yet read a court of silver flames, and I swear I intend to but first I gotta finish the throne of glass series; however i'm very intrigued by this situation with Gwyn and Az and the ribbon, could you explain what that's all about? I see it everywhere and I don't understand 😭
Gwynriel and the Ribbon
oooh of course💙 since you haven't read acosf, I don’t want to spoil anything, but I think I somehow have to in order to explain it.
also tagging @gwynrielweeksofficial here. I know the ribbon thingy was on day 4 but I only got the ask today. so here we go:
Nesta befriends Gwyn who is a priestess from the library (not sure if you know that if you haven't read acosf yet). Gwyn has experienced terribly things in her past and is first scared to leave the library, but somehow is the first priestess to do so as she has become Nesta's friend and loves her. Emerie, who is from windhaven, also joins them and together they start to rebuild the Valkyries as this is something Gwyn has done a lot of reading on. the Valkyries have died out after the war 500 years ago and now they want to bring them back. they do a lot of Valkyrie activities and training techniques, like mind stilling, fighting and research on them.
in order to become a true Valkyrie you have to cut a ribbon which is extremely difficult.
Cass and Az always like to mock them a little and give them super difficult tasks and sometimes act a little arrogant when they pass a task, because they are cocky and proud Illyrians.
But actually Azriel seems quite interested in it, but you know broody, stoic shadowsinger does not really let it show and so acts rather indifferent, although he catch him looking over at her many times.
So he is like yeah you did amazing and does not act really impressed, although I think he is
And I believe somehow Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn want them to be impressed by what they can do and want Az and Cass to see this and be proud.
And then there is scene about the obstacle course that Az and Cass built for them and Az is all like you can never finish it anyways and Gwyn is like „what do we get if we manage“ because she is sure they can. And Az is like yeah yeah, clearly amused by her (also totally starting crush haha)
And then Nesta says, "Remember how Gwyn was with the ribbon? […] You're the new ribbon, Az." -> somehow like Azriel is her new challenge and making him believe in her (which he already does but not shows)
No matter if is this is a romantic line or not, it is important. It is important and significant for Gwyn’s healing and her future. The ribbon represents a challenge, one Gwyn is ready to take on, so I in the broader meaning I think it fully stands for Gwyn's healing. This challenge of leaving the library, of being ready to face the outside world and maybe also finding love and making choices herself when she has been robbed of them once.
I said that before, but I am not a fully committed Gwynriel shipper as Azris will always be my number one, so I really hope it all makes sense I described everything clearly. lots of love💙
@headcanonheadcase just felt like tagging you here, if I got anything wrong please feel free to tell me so 💙
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