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symphonyofsilence · 6 months

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I am ready for the conversation about WWX crushing on JGY. Please elaborate 👉👈

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED!

Finally the day has come! Here we go!

First of all, this flirting here as JGY has a guqin string to WWX's throat! WWX My man may be discovering new kinks! The chemistry is off the charts! LWJ & LXC wished they could flirt like this!

"I think it's best if Young Master Wei stops right there. It's nothing if your flute's broken, but if your tongue or your fingers went missing, it'd be such a shame."

Wei WuXian immediately put his hand away, agreeing, "You make so much sense."

The person, "May I request your company?"

Wei WuXian nodded, "You're too polite,Sect Leader Jin."

Jin GuangYao smiled, "It's my pleasure."

Wei WuXian, "LianFang-Zun, you hid quite a big land deed in the secret chamber of Fragrant Palace, right beside my manuscripts. Don't you remember?"

Jin GuangYao, "Oh, that would be my fault. I should've put them separately."

Wei WuXian, "Right now, we won't be able to run from your grasp no matter what, so could you perhaps tell me just what a creature is being suppressed in this Guanyin Temple, LianFang-Zun, and quench my curiosity a bit?"

Jin GuangYao smiled, "Quenching your curiosity doesn't come at a low price. Young Master Wei, are you sure you'd like to try?"

Wei WuXian, "Oh. On second thought, then, nevermind."

(This whole interaction is even fruitier in the live-action)

He smiled, "Because that's what kind of a person you are. At best, you're the untamed hero; at worst, you offend people wherever you go. Unless all those whom you've offended lived their lives safely, as soon as something happened to them or someone did something to them, the first person they suspect would be you and the first person they seek revenge on would also you. And this is something you have no control over." Somehow, Wei WuXian smiled, "What should I do? For some reason, I think make a lot of sense."

Nothing like accepting and understanding your favorite homme Fatale's choice of bringing your downfall 'cause he just makes so much sense what you gonna do!😊 🤷🏻‍♀️

The way JGY is described:

Wei WuXian, on the other hand, carefully observed the chief cultivator of all sects.

Jin GuangYao was born with quite an advantageous face. His skin was fair, and he had a vermillion mark embellished on his forehead. His pupils were distinct against the whites of the eyes, appearing lively but not frivolous. His features appeared rather clean, attractive yet also ingenious. The shadow of a smile that always perched by the corners of his lips, and his brows, revealed at once his clever character. Such a face was enough to earn the love of women, but still wouldn't evoke the vigilance or aversion of men; the elderly would think of him as sweet, while the young would think of him as amicable. Even if one didn't like him, they definitely wouldn't hate him either, which was why his face was "advantageous". Although his figure was a bit small, his calm demeanor was more than enough to make up for it. Donning a cap made of black gauze, he wore the LanlingJin Sect's formal uniform, a blooming Sparks Amidst Snow crest over the front of his round-collared robe. With a nine-ringed belt at his waist, liuhe boots at his feet, and a right hand pressing down on the hilt of the sword hung by his side, he let out a powerful aura of inviolability.

Like LWJ is described in one paragraph ending with "mourning clothes" and JGY is described for a whole page with WWX going on and on about how you get some sort of feeling looking at him...EVERYONE! man and woman, young and old catch some sort of feeling basking in JGY's charm & beauty. (But he's being nonchalant about it...'cause ofc he doesn't have a crush...)

The unnecessary shade WWX throws at poor QS:

At this point, with a woman dressed in lavish robes by his arm, Jin GuangYao stepped into the room. Although the woman seemed rather dignified, a trace of innocence was blended into her expression. Even her graceful features appeared somewhat childlike. This was the official wife of Jin GuangYao, the mistress of Carp Tower-Qin Su.

descendents of prominent clans. Qin Su as the beloved daughter of Qin CangYe. Her personality was naive, but she had lived a comfortable life and was taught excellent manners.

Fortunately, although Qin Su had always seemed innocently ignorant since a young age, even to the point of being somewhat dense, she didn't trust Jin GuangYao anymore. She stared blankly at Jin GuangYao

I can't remember, and searched & couldn't find who it was that pointed out that the situation with NMJ had escalated so bad that the only way left for Jiggy was to murder him, and yet at the slightest, most desperate, most basic attempt at de-escalation that JGY shows WWX is BLOWN AWAY! Like: JGY: "Sry, Da-ge. My bad." WWX:

JGY is just trying to live another day without getting murdered by Da-ge and WWX is like Jin Guangyao is a master manipulator.

Jin GuangYao sighed, "HuaiSang is used to being spoiled, but he can't be Qinghe's idle Second Young Master for his whole life. One day he'll realize that you're doing this for him, Brother, just like how I realized that you're doing this for me."

Wei WuXian, Bravo, bravo. I wouldn't be able to say such words even if given two lifetimes, but Jin GuangYao can adjust his tone so that it doesn't sound strange at all. It even sounds a bit pleasing to the ears.

WWX taking a moment in the middle of QS's intense breakdown, crying, screaming, throwing up, pulling at her hair to remind us that Jin Guangyao is serving:

He was her husband. As of right now, under the candlelight, he looked as calm and as picturesque as ever.

Like...not now king .QS is having a moment here. Keep it in your pants for now. the last person who was horny for JGY is not yet done having her breakdown so you can walk in like that Theresa May meme and say that you'll take it from here!

What he most sees of Jin Guangyao is through Da-ge's eyes. Which are very horny eyes to look at JGY with. And it SHOWS.

The boy's figure was on the smaller side. He had fair skin and dark brows, precisely those favor-gaining features of Jin GuangYao.

When asshole Nie soldiers trash talk MY:

A flame of anger sprout within Nie MingJue's heart, burning all the way into Wei WuXian.

Wearing a gauze gap, he was almost beyond recognition. As handsome as ever, his cleverness was the same, yet his air was calmer that it had ever been.

The whole Wen Yao scene speaks for itself.

His chemistry with Xue Yang was unrivaled and JGY reminds WWX of Xue Yang:

recalling a certain someone as he watched how Jin GuangYao smiled and batted his eyes even as he fought. He whispered, "He really is the same as Xue Yang."

He admires JGY:

In these types of games, the head of all cultivators, LianFang-Zun, who was currently the most successful of all, was of course the most popular character. Although his family background was a bit disgraceful, the fact that he later climbed to such a rank was precisely why people respected him. During the Sunshot Campaign, he skillfully worked undercover for the QishanWen Sect, deceiving all of the Wen Sect's people to a point that a tremendous amount of information were disclosed, yet they knew nothing. After the Sunshot Campaign, with flattery, wit, and countless other methods, he finally became the Chief Cultivator, fully deserving of the title. Such a life could even be considered a legend. If he was playing, he'd also want to try being Jin GuangYao.

It wasn't difficult to understand why Lan XiChen defended this person. To be honest, even Wei WuXian himself didn't have a terrible opinion of the person they were suspicious of. Perhaps because of his background, he had always treated others with kindness and humility. He was the type of person who never offended anyone, the type who could make everyone around him feel comfortable talking to him, let alone ZeWu-Jun, who had been friends with him for years.

Jiang Cheng smirked, "Don't carry your sword, then. It doesn't matter. But don't provoke Jin ZiXuan from now on. He's Jin Guangshan's only son, after all. The future leader of the LanlingJin Sect will be him. If you beat him up, what should I, the sect leader, do? Beat him up with you? Or punish you?" Wei WuXian, "Isn't Jin GuangYao here now? Jin GuangYao seems so much better than him."

Jin Ling quickly tugged at the back hems of Jin GuangYao's robe. Jin GuangYao seemed as though he had been born to resolve conflicts,

Jin GuangYao could remember the name, title, age, and appearance of a person after just one encounter. Even after a few years, he'd be able to greet them without any fault, often carrying out solicitous conversations as well. If he had seen someone more than twice, he'd remember all of their likes and dislikes, therefore able to cater to their needs.

"With Jin Ling's temper, he offends other people whenever he opens his mouth, he pokes at the hornet's nest whenever he raises his hand. Your sect's JingYi calls him Young Mistress-well, he's right. The many times before this, if it weren't for how we protected him, he'd have no lives left. Jiang Cheng isn't at all someone who knows how to teach children. Jin GuangYao, on the other hand..."

(Now he's just going around attributing random capabilities such as the ability to raise a fully functional child to a man he's met only a handful of times 13 years ago as though he fully believes there's nothing he can't do.)

thinking, When Jin GuangYao saw the strange paperman and saw Suibian being unsheathed, he must've guessed who I was right there. And so he quickly made up a series of lies, causing Qin Su to take her own life, and then purposely force me to the cabinet with Suibian inside so that I could unsheath my sword and reveal my identity. Scary, scary. Who could've known that his reaction was so fast and his lies so flawless?

When Jin GuangYao lied, it really was unashamed and full of vigor! As others heard this, of course they'd think that Mo XuanYu had slandered LianFang-Zun and caused Madam Jin to take her own life since he held hatred toward him. Even Wei WuXian couldn't think of anything to say in refutation. What could he say? How he saw Nie MingJue's head? How he snuck into the secret room? The name of the person whom Qin Su saw before she died? The odd letter that could easily be argued as fictitious and fabricated? Such refutation would only make him look even more suspicious!

Under the shock and the terror, he spoke as though his words flew, fearing that Nie MingJue might start chopping before he could even finish his explanation. Despite this, his explanation still had clear logic. Every sentence was highlighting how horrible the others were, how poor he himself was.

Immediately after it were Jin ZiXuan's murals. Usually, in order to signify their absolute power, sect leaders would purposely lessen the number of murals for cultivators of their own generation or perhaps switch to an inferior artist, so that they wouldn't be outshone. To these acts, everyone gave silent approval, showing their understanding. However, Jin ZiXuan had four murals as well, unbelievably standing on equal footing as Jin GuangYao. The handsome man in the paintings displayed both pride and vigor.

Jin GuangYao didn't let her down either. Even though he held the important position of Chief Cultivator, his behavior was drastically different from his father's. He never took in any concubines, much less had a relationship with any other woman. This was indeed something that many wives of sect leaders envied.

He kins JGY:

And so, the waves of criticism began:

"Who knew this person could be so ungrateful and immoral!"

In the past few years, the words 'ungrateful' and 'immoral' were almost tied to Wei WuXian. At first, he even thought that they were criticizing him again. He only realized afterwards that even though it was the same people using the same words, the object of their criticism had already changed. He felt a bit not used to it.

Wei WuXian felt that things were rather comical, If they're rumors, why the hurry to believe them? If they're secrets, why would you come to know them?

These rumors didn't happen in just the one day. However, in the past, when Jin Guangyao was popular, they were suppressed quite well. Almost nobody took them seriously. Yet, tonight, all of the rumors seemed to have become absolute truths, forming the rocks and bricks of Jin GuangYao's supposedly-committed crimes, proving his lack of morality.

Wei WuXian immediately felt a bit speechless. The last time others praised him like this was during the Sunshot Campaign more than ten years ago. Although somebody finally inherited his position as being the enemy of the entire cultivation world, Wei WuXian didn't feel happiness at such an end, much less any warmth from finally being accepted by everyone.

He only doubted in silence, Back then, could it have been just like today? A group of people gathered up in a place, began a secret discussion, cursed everything, and finally decided to have a siege on Burial Mound?

But there was no use in saying all that. Nobody knew with more clarity than Wei WuXian that nobody would care and nobody would believe him. Anything related to Jin GuangYao would be given the most malicious conjectures and passed through the mouths of the crowd

They're narrative parallels, similar in every way, even in their relationship with twin jades and it's very sexy of them!

The crush thing aside, (I wasn't entirely serious about it. Just saying that if you wanna read it that way, the things are there. But he does admire JGY & the chemistry is certainly there) He barely even registers JGY as an antagonist in his story (he even resignedly admits that he would have sooner or later angered someone and got killed anyway even if JGY did nothing). He even confronts NHS, who brought him back to life about what he did to Meng Shi's body. We've seen how WWX treats the other antagonists of his story, the way he tortures Wen Chao & Wang Lingjiao, and other Wens to death, the way he raises dead Wens to kill their kin, the way he doesn't even remember Jin Zixun's name, or take SMS seriously. But what JGY gets is respect, both in general and in that he was a worthy player in their game (that wasn't even THEIR game), and understanding & sympathy.

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #jin guangyao #wei wuxian #asks

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allmydokkuns · 9 months

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the brainworms have decided it's time for another ramble so on tonight's menu is Lan Qiren, no not like that please do not consume someone else's fictional uncle without said fictional uncle's consent. Vague spoiler alerts for character backstory and plot IG?

The running motif (might be the wrong word? Coincidence maybe?) of "younger uncle having to step in to parent the next generation because someone died or is Otherwise Unavailable" is really obvious with Lan Qiren. Very unfortunate for him, and I don't get to see a lot of interpretations of him in fandom that expand beyond the "stickler for the rules suffocating teacher ish figure" that we see of him re: the Cloud Recesses arc from Wei Wuxian's perspective. Therefore I'm just gonna slap some text into this post about all the things we don't really know about him but some stuff I assume or infer based on some shit in my brain yeah.

Lan Qiren, birth name and age unknown, is the younger brother of Qingheng-jun (name and age both unknown), and the paternal uncle of the Twin Jades of Lan. We know this cause both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji address him as "shufu," which is the more formal version of the "-shushu" WWX uses for Jiang Fengmian. In the absence of any other known siblings or close blood relatives of the main branch of the Lan clan, this also automatically made him, from his birth until the birth and successful upbringing of (at least) his elder nephew, the sect heir to Gusu Lan. I say this because it's important context for the role he plays in both the sect and his nephews' upbringing.

I'll talk a bit about Qingheng-jun and how the choices he made re: Xichen's and Wangji's mother/their marriage completely ruined Lan Qiren's and his son's lives. I don't think we know much about Qingheng-jun and Qiren when they were younger until Qingheng-jun apparently meets his wife-to-be and the situation escalates until he married her to protect her from execution (?) and proceeded to punish their whole immediate family by choosing to go into seclusion as well. You might argue that it was a good thing he recognized what a disaster this all was and took some kind of punishment for it, but. But. As the oldest son and older brother, he serves as the future sect leader, role model for the disciples, and has the duty to not only lead the sect but also guide any siblings he has from "taking the wrong path," so to speak. His choosing to go into seclusion is a punishment, yes, but was completely unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. Even assuming his now wife was a guest cultivator of some kind, he would have been well within his rights to step back and allow the rules to run their course once she committed a crime, to be startled out of his infatuation (?) with her into realizing that maybe she wasn't a good choice (or the only choice) for the future sect leader's wife, do his penance, and then move on. So why didn't he? Love, panic or obsession?

His choice to be secluded himself with her can mean different things depending on how you interpret the Gusu Lan practice of seclusion. Is it physical seclusion only, or did he take it to the extreme and was completely hands-off for everything from sect affairs to his children's upbringing? Obviously he had kids with his wife but that would be allowable since you know, marriage and heirs. The fact that the kids' monthly visits to his wife are mentioned but none to him kind of suggests that he had a minimal role in his sons' lives. Also it's super weird in the context of filial piety and the importance of a father in that role ethic. Fortunately for plot purposes, this role (and the duties thereof) he so very conveniently vacates can also be fulfilled by Lan Qiren.

The visits to their mother could be excused under the guise of letting LXC and LWJ exercise their filial piety, i.e. their respect for their mother. But all other duties normally carried out by the husband and wife as well as the sect leader and sect leader's wife would fall on Lan Qiren and whatever sect members/servants/caretakers were appropriate. E.g., as a man, Lan Qiren cannot nurse his nephews until they're weaned, but can choose nursemaids and servants who have the right skillsets to care for very young children. When they're older but still not old enough to be granted courtesy names/live in their own households, he is the obvious choice for them to live with, so they can be taught the rules, proper etiquette, how to read/write, etc. Again, as an elder, this would be part of his purview as their uncle, but he would not be primarily responsible for these things in their lives if it weren't for the extenuating circumstances of his brother's disaster of a marriage. Also important -- it seems he's also the face of the sect and is entrusted with handling politically significant intersect matters such as the guest disciples and the whole incident with WWX punching Jin Zixuan, which tracks with him being the only other candidate in the main family to lead the sect in his brother's absence.

Politically Qingheng-jun would have been doing Qiren a favor because he wouldn't be as important otherwise as a second son, if it weren't for the fact that Qiren gets all of the thankless work with none of the recognition. Qiren's significance as sect heir expired as soon as his sister-in-law gave birth to two healthy sons, at which point he's just a placeholder until Lan Xichen comes of age, UNLESS both of his nephews die with no heirs. And by all visible criteria, he's done a fucking good job too! If he was power hungry and coveted his brother's position, he didn't have to do such a damn good job of raising his nephews that they became the first and second highest ranked young men of their generation, you know?

Speaking of heirs, why is Qiren raising his nephews alone? Given the familial and sect obligations he has on his plate, it would have been reasonable for the sect to shore up any instability by finding a good match for him posthaste, which would have the added bonus of giving any potential nephews a maternal figure in their everyday life to handle the manners and etiquette bit, at least. Depending on the amount of time between marriage drama and Xichen being born, I can think of a couple of reasons:

Gusu Lan came out the other side of marriage drama and collectively went, we're not doing that shit again, and conveniently does not give Qiren any marriage prospects.

The rest of the jianghu hears rumors about the marriage scandal and maybe isn't as eager to marry off daughters into Gusu Lan as they might have been otherwise (yes, Qiren isn't as attractive a prospect as a first son, but he's still unattached, unless he has a reputation that dissuaded prospects in the first place)

Lan Qiren came out the other side of marriage drama and internalized that trauma, or maybe wasn't the marrying kind anyway (see marriage dynamics of the other sect leaders in the Big Five), and went "oh fuck no"

Gusu Lan's elders saw that Xichen had a lot of potential from a young age, and decided marrying Qiren off with the obligations of his own wife, children and household would be distracting him from nurturing the sect heir(s once Wangji is born) that they already have, with special emphasis on Qiren teaching them The Right Way To Be A Lan and maybe even fobbing more stuff to do on him so he never has the time to court and get married. Normally such things would be under the watchful eye of Qiren's parents, or Qingheng-jun once their parents were dead, but as we've already established, sect and familial duties don't seem to be a priority for that guy so.

Depending on how shitty you wanna believe the Gusu Lan elders are, maybe Qingheng-jun made a deal with them that he would have no part in raising any children from his marriage to help protect the woman he loved, idk. Can you tell I'm not very sympathetic to him? As far as I can tell, he trapped his wife, his sons and his brother into the consequences of his own actions and is basically the whole reason for LWJ's tragic backstory™ because God forbid any sect heir in this series have a healthy father-son relationship, am I right?

And then Qiren has to watch his younger nephew get whipped to within an inch of his life for finally breaking the rules (that he taught Wangji) they lived under so disastrously, and then his older nephew is so torn up about all the fun, fun revelations from Guanyin temple that history repeats itself and Xichen shuts himself away and Qiren can only hope that time will help Xichen heal, because Wangji's gone as soon as he possibly can to chase the man he almost died for once already, and he's older and tired but he might as well be young again and holding A-Huan for a walk around the courtyard until he stops crying for all that everything else has changed.

Anyway. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk about Lan Qiren, Gusu Lan's original Lan er-gege and Tragic Lan Backstory™, I'm gonna drop some headcanons about him and y'all feel free to reblog, reply, whatever with y'all's thoughts.

Lan Qiren's likes, in no particular order:

Respectful students that are diligent and work hard.

Hearing his nephews play music together.

A good pot of tea after a long morning's work, just before training and between meetings, paperwork, etc.

Copying over manuscripts/poetry/what have you in his spare time

Poetry

Lan Qiren's dislikes, in no particular order:

People that rely solely on luck, talent or family background to gain accolades

Things being wasted, food, potential, time, etc.

The gentian house.

Having to wait until it's almost curfew to meditate in the rabbit meadow.

Splinters

#lan qiren #mdzs #qingheng jun #character meta #mdzs meta

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ibijau · 4 years

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Nobody really asked for it, but time for more de-aged LXC trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him!

This and previous instalments are also on AO3

Lan Xichen opens the door, expecting his uncle, or better yet his brother. Instead he finds himself face to face with a stranger dressed in black and red, smiling in a conspiratorial manner that promises nothing good.

“Zewu-Jun, won't you invite me in?”

The man doesn't look surprised by his youth, meaning he knew to expect it. Only four people know, though: Lan Qiren who discovered him, Nie Huaisang who found out, Lan Wangji who was told, and presumably Lan Wangji's husband. Lan Xichen doesn't think his uncle or brother would tell anyone. He trusts Nie Huaisang to have kept the secret as well. The weak link, then, is this Wei Wuxian who Lan Qiren dislikes so much and thus forbade Lan Xichen from seeing. Could Wei Wuxian have told someone? Lan Xichen understands that his brother-in-law dabbles in unconventional means of cultivation, perhaps he felt one his colleagues might know how to handle his current state? But then why not...

“Ah, right, you wouldn't recognise me!” the stranger laughs. “We make quite a pair here, Zewu-Jun. I'm Wei Wuxian.”

“You're not!” Lan Xichen protests, shocked by the nerve of that man. “I've met Wei Wuxian. Even accounting for the passing of time, you look nothing like him.”

The man only laughs harder. Something about it startles Lan Xichen. The face and body are wrong, even the voice is, but the mannerism, the manner of laughing are...

“Right, right, funny story there, it's me but the body isn't mine,” the man explains with a too cheerful grin. “So Lan Zhan really didn't tell you, eh? Even after so long, if his uncle says something, he's still likely to listen. Anyway, why don't you let me in before someone sees that I'm here? I thought we could have a little chat, you and me. I bet you've got questions and fancy that, I think I have answers.”

Lan Xichen hesitates to call Shuoyue to him to chase away this intruder. It's what he should do, what his uncle would want him to do.

But it's been three months now, and Lan Xichen is starting to fear that he will never return to being the man he had grown into. A pity, a shame, a blessing, he doesn't know. But that's how things are, and if this man really has answers...

Lan Xichen steps aside, silently inviting the man to come in. The stranger saunters inside, letting Lan Xichen close the door behind him. He really does move like Wei Wuxian, it's uncanny.

“So, let's do this,” the man says, sitting at the table and taking out a jar of wine from his sleeve.

Lan Xichen half wants to laugh. This really must be Wei Wuxian, then. He's never met anyone else shameless enough to drink so openly inside the Cloud Recesses. He sits down opposite his... his brother-in-law, apparently.

“You're a clever man,” Wei Wuxian says, opening his jar. “And as I remember, you were pretty sharp as a boy too. They've been careful around you, but I'm sure you must have guessed a few things already. Do you want to tell me what you think you know?”

Lan Xichen nods.

“I know there was a war. I think it was against the Wens, but that's just an educated guess. We've been fearing open conflict with them since before my birth. My father died shortly before that war, or during it, and I became sect leader in his place. I think I was still young.”

“You weren't quite twenty yet,” Wei Wuxian confirms.

Lan Xichen startles. That's too close, that's too soon. He's just eighteen now, how could he become a war leader in less than a year?

“After the war, I don't really know what happened,” Lan Xichen confesses, still shaken by how young he rose to power (will rise to power). “But my brother doesn't trust me anymore, and I'm not sure I'm friend with Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang either.”

Brother would not have approved, Lan Wangji said about the marriage that appears to make him happier than anything in the world.

You can find better friends than me, Nie Huaisang had muttered, refusing to look at him.

“Wangji and Nie Huaisang say I don't grow into a bad man,” Lan Xichen whispers. “But I wonder if they're both lying to spare me.”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, and takes a sip of wine.

“What's good, what's bad?” he asks. “From what I can tell, you did what you thought was right. You've trusted all the wrong people and you've been blind to things that should have alerted you, but you weren't the only one to be fooled so I don't suppose you can be blamed. Still, even if you're not bad yourself, there are some who'll say in allowing evil to reign, you're tainted by it.”

Lan Xichen has to close his eyes and take a deep breath. It's not what he wanted to hear, but it feels more sincere than Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang's attempts to comfort him. Lan Xichen thinks he likes Wei Wuxian.

“What evil did I protect, then?” he asks. “Will you tell me this much?”

“It's a long story,” Wei Wuxian sighs, glancing at the window. It's still early afternoon. “You won't like most of it, Zewu-Jun. But I've learned the hard way that secrets can tear apart a family and you know what? I'm tired of seeing Lan Zhan hurting over something he can't control. If he can't tell you, I will.”

And so, he does.

It is a painful, convoluted story of war, friendship, betrayal and power. Wei Wuxian is mercilessly honest about it all. He admits to his own fault, just as he denounces those of others. Lan Xichen is made uncomfortable when he hears some of the decision he's made (will make), though the worst part is that he understands why he chose (will choose) this. If Jin Guangshan said those prisoners were treated humanly, how could he not believe his elder? If Wei Wuxian killed people in so ruthless a manner, in such great numbers, how could he not join the effort to take him down before he striked again? If Lan Wangji betrayed his own sect...

Lan Xichen cries at hearing that his brother chose to stand against them, at the news of thirty-three strikes of the discipline whips. He knows the history of Gusu Lan, knows how traitors are to be treated. He hopes his brother understood (will understand) that this was the most merciful punishment he could get away with.

He cries again when he hears that Nie Mingjue has died. His best friend, his oldest friend, his confidant, the person he trusted above all others.

He doesn't understand when Wei Wuxian tells him that he unknowingly sided (will side) with Nie Mingjue's murderer, but Wei Wuxian himself is surprisingly kind about it.

“Jin Guangyao was good at being what people needed him to be. There's little shame in having been fooled by him when he fooled so many. Even I couldn't quite believe it when I first realised that he was involved. There's just one person who saw right through him.”

Lan Xichen gasps.

We all lied to you.

“Nie Huaisang?”

Wei Wuxian nods, and continues his tale, but it makes no sense.

Nie Huaisang isn't like this. He's a sweet boy who smiles and laughs easily, who pretends to cower before his brother but stubbornly does as he pleases, knowing Nie Mingjue adores him too much to punish him. He's friendly and open and honest. He's not someone who lies and hides and plots in the dark. He's not someone who pretends to be people's friends only so he can better stab them in the back when the chance comes.

The way everyone else changed... that makes sense. He can imagine Lan Wangji going too far for love. He can see Nie Mingjue becoming inflexible in his vision of justice. Even for himself, he's always been the sort to try to please everyone, so it's no surprise that he became that man who sided with whoever seemed to promise peace. But Nie Huaisang? Nie Huaisang never gave any sign that he was anything but lovely and a little silly, how could this have happened?

“It's hard, losing the person who took care of you,” Wei Wuxian notes in a voice fraught with barely contained pain. “It can break you. I certainly did for me. And when something is broken, you have to be careful or the shards of it will cut even those trying to help.”

Wei Wuxian means himself and Lan Wangji.

He might mean Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen, also.

Lan Xichen can feel a headache coming. He cried too much, and he learned too much, it feels like his skull is trying to collapse onto itself to block all this. He half regrets giving in to curiosity, but mostly he's glad he did.

Now he knows.

Now he understands.

It's not cowardice that pushed the man he became to do this to himself. He doesn't think that man really regretted those choices, not even the wrong one because they were made in good faith, and from a sincere heart, with what information he had.

Still, they were wrong choices, and they alienated him from just about everyone he ever cared for. These earnest, honest choices killed Nie Mingjue, they made his brother fear his happiness would be resented, they turned Nie Huaisang into a cruel and lonely man.

The man he became didn't want to forget, Lan Xichen thinks. He just wanted a chance for new choices, unburdened by the old ones, and he wasn't sure to deserve that chance as he was.

“That's the whole story,” Wei Wuxian says, oddly gentle now. “That's everything that happened, at least the parts that I know. There's got to be more, but I wasn't there for it, obviously. If you want more details, you'll have to ask someone else.”

Lan Xichen nods, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

“Thank you for this, Wei gongzi. And thank you for...” he hesitates, and sighs. “Thank you for making my brother happy now, even if apparently it wasn't always so. I can't really judge the past, but I can see the present, and I like the way he smiles when he speaks about you.”

I like the way you smile when you think of him too, Lan Xichen decides as Wei Wuxian's face illuminates with a grin. He doesn't think the man he became could see this without resentment, but he can, and he's glad for it. He's glad he can rejoice in his brother's happiness and not feel the weight of twenty years of hardship spoiling it.

“Thank you as well, Zewu-Jun,” Wei Wuxian says. “That means a lot to me. I'll let you be now, you'll probably want a moment to digest all this, eh? Sorry for dumping it on you all at once, but... like I said, secrets break families. I've seen it once, I'm not seeing it twice.”

Lan Xichen nods. He feels tired, and the headache is there, unpleasantly insistent. He walks Wei Wuxian back to the door, makes him promise to come again, maybe with Lan Wangji next time. It seems to make Wei Wuxian genuinely happy, for which Lan Xichen is glad. He thinks they'll get along, the two of them. How could he not get along with someone who loves Lan Wangji this much?

Once Wei Wuxian is gone, Lan Xichen prepares some tea. It helps with the headache, and gives him time to think.

At dinner time, his uncle comes by to bring him food and give him news. There's no progress on a cure, partly because Lan Qiren still doesn't know how this happened. He still refuses to say what they both know: that Lan Xichen did this to himself. Lan Qiren is a man who can live with his choices, who can take loneliness if it is the price of righteousness, so of course he cannot understand what his nephew did. Lan Xichen doesn't tell him about Wei Wuxian's visit, and he doesn't tell him what he realised about this choice his future self made.

When he is alone again, Lan Xichen ponders what to do, now that he knows why he's here, why he's like this.

A chance for new choices.

He grabs some paper and prepares some ink. In carefully chosen words, he explains his newest choice, so his uncle and brother will not worry. They still will, of course, because they love him, and he's sorry because he loves them as well, but this can't be helped. It is something he must do.

He leaves his letter on the table, propped against a cup so that it cannot be ignored by anyone coming inside, and exits the house. In the near darkness of the rising night, it's easy to move undetected. It is easy, also, to avoid the disciples who patrol the Cloud Recesses so make sure everybody respects the curfew. He almost laughs as he jumps over the wall, elated by his own daring.

He doubts the man he'd have become would have tried to sneak out like this, partly because he can hardly believe he's doing it himself. But this too is a choice, and so is hopping on Shuoyue and turning it Northwest, toward Qinghe.

It's time for new choices.

Maybe Lan Xichen will regret those as much as he ended up regretting the others, but he won't know until he tries.

#lan xichen #wei wuxian #xisang #if you squint #mo dao zu shi #jau writes #not sure if I'll add another chapter or leave this open ended #I just love lxc a lot and I think he made the choices he had to make and there are a lot of decisions he'd struggle to regret #it caused him pain but at that time it seemed the right thing to do or the only thing to do and so he did his best #/sob I just love lxc so much okay???

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Same universe as the one where LXC kills JGY on a boat to not-Japan. JRS-centric as he grows up in the Nie clan and deals with his reputation as an inbred son of a traitorous bastard.

so I don't think I've ever written a fic in which LXC kills JGY on a boat, and definitely not one where JRS is a character? I mean, I've written a lot of fics, so possibly I did and I forgot, but I'm pretty sure about this one.

That being said, I don't think I've gotten any Jin Rusong prompts before so I'm reinterpreting this to be a prompt for a fic about JRS growing up in the Nie clan. Fic below!

ao3

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang reminded himself. Risk is proportionate with reward. Your spine should be made of steel, just as your saber is.

He licked his lips, thought of his brother who had loved him, and threw himself forward with tears in his eyes.

“Oh, gongzi!” he blubbered. “Can you help me? I’ve gotten completelylost, I don’t even know where to begin –”

Xue Yang blinked at him, the lids of his eyes moving slowly like a reptile.

“Maybe you know where my san-ge is? Lianfeng-zun?”

The feeling of immediate threat lessened. It seemed he’d gambled right, and the rabid dog that was Xue Yang could still be controlled by reference to Jin Guangyao.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could just give me some guidance on where to find him,” Nie Huaisang said, lowering his voice confidentially. “I’d be sure to pay you back! If there’s anything you want –”

“Do you have any snacks?” Xue Yang asked.

Nie Huaisang, who had come prepared based on the rumors he’d painstakingly collected, produced some dragons’ beard candy.

“Not bad,” Xue Yang said. “Okay, sure.”

Nie Huaisang smiled, and even meant it.

“Hey, good-for-nothing,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang turned to look at his least favorite but nevertheless highly useful source of information in Lanling Jin. The fact that Xue Yang had no idea that he was functioning as such just made it more satisfactory. “You like kids, right?”

Nie Huaisang blinked. “Yes?” he hazarded, not so much because he actually did – he’d never had strong feelings about children one way or the other, though perhaps he was being presumptuous in thinking that the reference did not involve goats – but because that seemed to be the answer Xue Yang was looking for.

Xue Yang wrinkled his nose in distaste, though not, Nie Huaisang thought, at him.

“Theoretically,” he said, and he wouldn’t know ‘theoretical’ if it hit him in the face, “if there were, I don’t know, a whole bunch of them hanging around somewhere without parents, you’d be able to do something about that, right? Especially if they had a talent for cultivation?”

It took only a moment to piece together what must have happened to lead to such a question, given the ruthlessness of the cultivation world and of Jin Guangyao in particular, and Nie Huaisang marveled briefly at the idea that Xue Yang might draw a moral line in the sand over something. Presumably he felt some kinship to the children, being similarly utterly infantile, amoral, and fond of sweet things.

“Oh sure!” he said, playing up the brainless idiot who didn’t know to ask questions. “My sect is always recruiting, you know. We took some losses in the war and, well, I feel like adult cultivators aren’t really all that interestedin joining ever since I took over…”

“Because you’re a waste of space,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang pouted at him. “Whatever, the important thing is that you have space for kids. Orphans. Think, like, a whole orphanage getting shut down or whatever – anyway, not important. You’d take them back to Qinghe, right?”

“Oh, that would be so wonderful!” Nie Huaisang clapped. “That would suit everyone, wouldn’t it? They don’t have to worry about the children, and we get new disciples. I should tell san-ge – no, on second thought, he might be too busy –”

“Definitely too busy,” Xue Yang said quickly. “Wouldn’t it be nice to accomplish something yourself? You could casually show him that your numbers went up at the end of the month instead so he gives you the credit, without explaining that it’s kids making up the increase.”

“That’s a great idea! He’ll be much more impressed by that, I should definitely do that. Where is the orphanage?”

“…uh, in the forest. The back forest.”

You couldn’t come up with a better lie?

“You already brought them here?” Nie Huaisang asked, batting his eyelashes. “You’re so nice, Xue-xiong! I’ll go tell my second in command to go deal with it right away!”

It was in the fifth round of kids getting picked up – small cultivation clans being massacred and there was nothing Nie Huaisang could do about it, because there was either no evidence or else Jin Guangyao had come up with some motive to justify his actions and, inevitably, Lan Xichen would be there behind him, soothing over tempers and providing explanations because he believed him, every time – that something unusual happened.

“Sect Leader Nie,” one of his most trusted subordinates murmured into his ear. “There’s a problem.”

Nie Huaisang found a reason to leave the party early, a reason to go to the rendezvous point, and, once there, found the reason for the problem.

“Oh, hey there,” he said with a smile fixed onto his face by sheer force of willpower, crouching down to make himself seem less intimidating. Not that he was ever particularly intimidating, though given the rage coursing through his veins right now, he thought he might be able to pull it off if he tried. “What a lucky chance! It’s so funny, finding you here, Songsong. How are you?”

Jin Rusong wiped his eyes and looked tearily at him, recognized that the person asking was his Little Uncle Nie, and threw himself into Nie Huaisang’s arms with a howl.

This was pretty typical – Jin Rusong wasn’t much of a crier, but when he did he definitely took Nie Huaisang as his model, something all the other adults in the cultivation world had a tendency to give Nie Huaisang dirty looks over.

The only problem here, of course, was that Jin Rusong was dead.

Or, rather…he was supposed to be dead.

And if Jin Rusong was here – here, in the rendezvous point where Xue Yang put those of his prospective victims that happened to be a little too young for even him to stomach killing, at least without the personal grudge that had driven him to slaughter the Chang clan in its entirety – that meant only one thing.

Jin Guangyao had ordered his own son to be murdered.

Through demonic cultivation, no less, which was a pretty nasty way to go. There was a reason everyone implicitly countenanced Jiang Cheng’s vendetta against demonic cultivators no matter where they were, even when he ignored all territory lines and forgot to not ask for permission – the things a demonic cultivator gone bad could do were just so much worse than what anyone else could that they couldn’t risk any delay in dealing with the problem.

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

“There has to be a reason,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “He’s not rabid. Songsong was his son!”

“Sect Leader Nie, we can’t find anything that might explain it.”

“Look harder. I don’t care how minor it is, I want to know everythingto do with Songsong. Every little detail – every person who saw him – every medical report, every compliment, every good grade –”

“He placed last in one of his classes,” one of his spies volunteered.

“What?”

“He placed last in one of his classes. About two months before his ‘assassination’, and shortly before his father started collecting evidence against the other sects that were in his way, which he later used to ‘prove’ that they had been involved in the alleged murder.”

“He wouldn’t kill his son for failing a class,” one of the others objected. “The kid’s barely more than a baby. What’s he expecting, genius from birth?”

“He’s a genius himself. Why not?”

“If everyone inherited everything directly from their parents, he’d be a whore.”

“He’d be a Jin. They’ve all got that nose, every one of them…”

“I heard he’s having the other Jin bastards killed. All of them, even the women…”

Something snapped in Nie Huaisang’s hands.

They all turned to look at him.

“Investigate Qin Su,” he said, looking down at the mess of wood and paper that had once been a fan. “Come to think of it, she has a Jin nose, too.”

“I don’t want to go!”

“I don’t want you to go, either,” Nie Huaisang said, feeling tired and also much more in sympathy with his poor older brother than he’d ever been while Nie Mingjue had been alive. “But you disobeyed me, and that means we don’t have a choice. You have to go.”

Nie Songsong looked down at the ground, his lip quivering. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You did,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have to own your decisions, Songsong. You can’t take them back once they’re done, no matter what the consequences. Not even if you feel bad, but definitely not because you feel bad for having to pay for what you did.”

“But…”

“No, Songsong. You cannot be in the Unclean Realm when – when he’s here.”

Nie Songsong hung his head.

“He’s not your father anymore,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know that, right?”

Nie Songsong nodded.

Nie Huaisang sighed and held out his hands, and his arms were full of a teary-eyed child a moment later.

“He loved you once,” Nie Huaisang murmured into his child’s hair. “I love you now. I wish I could give you more than that – I wish I could give you an answer, tell you why he didn’t love you enough to keep from doing what he did. But I can’t. All I can do…”

Is what I’m already doing.

“You’re enough, er-ge,” Nie Songsong whispered back. “You’re enough. I promise.”

“When will I get to go night-hunting?”

“You go night-hunting all the time,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. “You’re a fraction my age, and already my height, my weight, yet you wield a saber like my brother was around to raise you properly. You’re ruining my reputation, you know; now no one will believe that my incompetence comes from how short I am…”

“Not night-hunting with the rest of the sect, er-ge,” Nie Songsong said, rolling his eyes. “With other juniors!”

“Not long now,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at the paper beneath his hands. It was all finally coming together. “Not long now. Just give er-ge a little more time to finish taking care of matters for da-ge, and you’ll be able to go night-hunting with anyone you like.”

“Er-ge! Are you all right? You look so pale…”

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispered. “Songsong – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry –”

“What happened? Are you injured?” Nie Songsong demanded, already starting to pat him over, looking for wounds. “Er-ge, what’s wrong –”

“Your mother’s dead.”

Nie Songsong’s hands stilled.

“I told her about your heritage,” Nie Huaisang said, his lips numb. He’d never tried to hide it from Nie Songsong, although he’d introduced the subject very gradually and only once he thought that he’d be able to handle the revelation. “About your father – your grandfather. What they did. I wanted her to be angry at him, to turn against him, to distract him…instead, she killed herself.”

“Er-ge…”

“I shouldn’t have told her. If I knew –”

“Er-ge.”

“I should have brought her in earlier – told her about you surviving – I kept her from you for years –”

“Er-ge!”

Nie Huaisang looked at the child he had raised as a little brother the way his older brother had raised him, a father in everything but name, and who he had the constant feeling of having failed.

He wondered, as he always did, whether his brother had felt the same about him.

“Er-ge, it’s all right,” his little brother, his adopted son, said, and took his hands in his. “It’s all right. You tried, remember? Time after time, you tried to talk to her, but every single time you concluded that she would’ve told her husband instead of trusting you. She would’ve ruined everything. If she did that, I’d be dead all over again, and you with me.”

That had been what Nie Huaisang had concluded. That was why he’d never told her.

But…

“She’s your mother.”

“And you’re my er-ge. As long as you don’t die on me, too, it’ll be all right. Okay? It’ll be all right. It’ll be worth it in the end.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He’d already done so much, caused so much chaos and strife, and yet this moment – this was the step too far.

This was the first time he realized that he wasn’t sure he believed that it would be worth it anymore.

But by now…what else was left to do? There were no ways out of the plan he’d made himself; he’d designed it that way on purpose, because he’d known that if there was a way out, that snake would find a way to slither through it. He just hadn’t thought that he would be the one looking for it.

It didn’t matter.

He had to keep going.

His older brother deserved it, even if the younger one didn’t.

“I represent the Nie sect,” the young man – just about their age, though shorter than either of them – said with a smile. He seemed kind, gentle and polite, easy-going, but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui looked at each other, and then at Jin Ling, who just scowled. “Can I come in?”

“Were you even invited?” Jin Ling asked in bitten off words. He was still bitter about some of the things that had happened in the Guayin Temple a month before, and of all them the one he was most bitter about was his second uncle’s retreat into seclusion – they were all upset about that.

“But it’s a discussion conference,” the young man said, blinking in confusion. “We’re a Great Sect. Why wouldn’t we be invited?”

In the face of such profound ignorance, there really wasn’t very much they could say, and eventually Lan Sizhui stepped forward with a smile, welcoming the young man – Nie Songsong, he introduced himself – into the Cloud Recesses.

Everything seemed fine for a little while. Lan Sizhui was able to talk to the people in charge of arranging juniors into finding another place for Nie Songsong to stay, although it would be a little delayed – Nie Songsong assured them that there was no issue – and as recompense they even showed him, at his request, a few of the main landmarks.

And then they turned around and their guest had disappeared.

“I knew he was up to no good!” Jin Ling exclaimed.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Lan Sizhui told him.

“I’m with Jin Ling,” Lan Jingyi said. “He seemed so nice and understated – just like you know –”

“Don’t talk about my little uncle,” Jin Ling hissed at him. “I know it’s true, but just – don’t, okay?”

“We should find where he went,” Lan Sizhui decided.

It took them a while, but in the end they found him in the most unexpected place: in the rooms their sect leader had chosen for his seclusion, sitting on the bed with Lan Xichen’s head on his shoulder, sobbing as if his heart had been broken.

“What are you doing?” Lan Sizhui exclaimed, unnerved even out of his own habitual politeness.

“I came to greet my uncle,” Nie Songsong said, his manner just as gentle and polite as it had been from the beginning, although it was now evident that he was as stubborn as a rock and not easy-going at all.

“Your uncle?” Lan Jingyi gaped. “How can he be your uncle?”

“You’re Sect Leader Nie’s son!” Jin Ling accused.

“I’m Sect Leader Nie’s little brother by adoption,” Nie Songsong corrected. “It’s through my father that he’s my uncle – and you my cousin, I suppose.”

“Your – father?”

“Oh, yes. My birth name, you see,” Nie Songsong said, “was Jin Rusong.”

“Why did you choose to reveal yourself?” Lan Sizhui asked. “Given that everyone knows – well –”

Nie Songsong finished the character he was writing and put down his brush. “Wondering if you should let it be known that you were born with the surname Wen?”

Lan Sizhui jerked in surprise, then flushed. “How did you – that didn’t come out in Guanyin Temple.”

“No, I knew it before,” Nie Songsong said. “My er-ge is very clever, you know.”

“Yes, I suppose I do...why do you call him brother? Shouldn’t he be uncle, or – or –”

“Uncle is probably right,” Nie Songsong said. “But he raised me like a son, just as his brother did for him.”

Lan Sizhui looked down at his hands.

“Why did he publicly reveal your background, knowing that you were still around?” he asked again. “Everyone will know. Who your father was, all those terrible things he did, his relationship with your mother –”

“Why shouldn’t he? He did do all those things, and he did have that relationship with my mother.”

“But what about you? What about your reputation –”

“Are you planning on sweeping Wen Ruohan’s grave?”

Lan Sizhui stared at him.

“He’s your grandfather, isn’t he?” Nie Songsong looked calmly back at him. “Who he was, all those terrible things he did –”

“That’s nothing to do with me!”

“And the crimes of my father are nothing to do with me. My er-ge gave me his surname, just as Hanguang-jun gave you his, and for the same reason – to cut us off from the sins of our original family.”

“I suppose that’s true. But – no one knew about you, just as no one knew about me until I told them, and I only told them because they were my friends. Why’d you tell us? Aren’t you worried we’d tell more people?”

“Of course I am,” Nie Songsong said. “I hope you don’t, of course, but you would’ve found out regardless – second uncle wasn’t exactly subtle in his grief. And I had to tell him.”

“Why? To bring him out of seclusion?” Lan Sizhui hesitated. “Do you care so much for him?”

“Of course not. The last time I met him, I was a small child, and my father was just about to order me murdered; that’s not much of a basis to build a relationship. But having him lock himself away like that, as if he were in mourning…it hurt er-ge. And I won’t let anything hurt my er-ge. Anything, or anyone.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I understand,” Lan Sizhui said.

“I’m glad you do,” Nie Songsong said, and then smiled. “I would’ve had to escalate to threats next, and I’m given to understand that I’m too short to really pull them off properly.”

Lan Sizhui snorted. “I think we’ve all learned that that’snot true.”

“Should we talk about this?” Jin Ling asked, arms crossed over his chest and glaring.

“What do you want to talk about?” Nie Songsong replied.

“How about the fact that your father tried to kill me?”

“Sure. Can we talk about the fact that you got all of his affection for years and years after he tried to kill me?”

Jin Ling blanched.

“I wonder if he would’ve gotten me a dog, too,” Nie Songsong mused. “I was too young for that when he ordered his demonic cultivator to feed me to fierce corpses and have my body ravaged until it was barely recognizable…but sure, let’s talk about how he tried to kill you.”

“I was talking about Sect Leader Nie!”

“Well, then, you should have been more specific. Sect Leader Nie’s my brother, not my father.”

“He’s a whole generation older than you!”

“My little uncle, then.”

Jin Ling flinched. “That’s worse. Go back to calling him your brother.”

Nie Songsong shrugged. “Would it help if we fought?”

“…what?”

“It makes me feel better, sometimes. Besides, I may be short, but I’m pretty good with the saber. I bet I could match your sword…maybe not your arrows. But I’ve always wanted to try.”

Jin Ling looked at him suspiciously for a long moment.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Sure. Why not?”

“I really hate that you’re kind of cool,” Lan Jingyi told him.

“I am so cool,” Nie Songsong said, and passed him another jar of wine. “Want to see my spring book collection?”

“…yes please.”

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Lan Xichen said to Nie Huaisang, who shrugged. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t trust me to help.”

“It’s only what I should have done,” Nie Huaisang said, not for the first time. He’d said it so often these past few days that it felt like a new refrain, an alternative to the old I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. He preferred the original. “I was his little uncle, remember? I held him on his first month party. How could I do any less?”

He did not say that Lan Xichen, who could be classified as Jin Rusong’s older uncle, had done much less, but from Lan Xichen’s expression, he’d taken it that way anyway.

“You never…” Lan Xichen hesitated. “Did you ever have any – concerns?”

“That he’d turn out an idiot? No. I figured he’d be in good company, with me.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, you meant whether I was worried that he’d grow up longing for his blood family over his adopted family and turn against me in favor of his real father?” Nie Huaisang asked mildly. “No, not really. The memory of your father ordering you to be mauled by fierce corpses and to make sure your face is destroyed so that there’s a reason to refuse to let your mother see the body, as it would only upset her, is a fairly effective panacea against things like that.”

“No,” Lan Xichen said, though he looked sick all over again at the reminder of how considerate Jin Guangyao could be when it came to those he thought of as people, and how monstrous he was towards those he didn’t. “No, just – your brother always took such a hard line against the Wen sect…”

“Because they were raised with the philosophy that they were superior to the rest of us and my brother purposefully made himself into the symbol of their fallibility, thereby making himself and all the rest of us the primary target for their traumatic realization that they’re just as weak and vulnerable as everyone else,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Our Nie sect cultivators were always especially targeted whenever we were captured – our survival rate as prisoners of war was less than half all the other sects, and it wasn’t just because we were usually more injured when we got caught. Even the civilians surnamed Wen would pull out knives and try to stab us in the back if they had half a chance! We were in a blood feud with them, er-ge. You don’t put down blood feuds just like that, not even if you want to. That’s not how it works.”

Lan Xichen nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Anyway, Songsong is mine now,” Nie Huaisang said. “Just as Lan Sizhui is your brother’s, and Jin Ling Jiang Cheng’s. Can’t we all just agree to not care about the rest?”

“I suppose we have to,” Lan Xichen said, bowing his head. “Huaisang…did you ever think about what happens now? I mean – what should we do next?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said, and smiled humorlessly when Lan Xichen looked at him. “I’m not joking. I didn’t know what to do when I got Songsong for the first time, er-ge, and I don’t know what to do now, either. I just wanted to see justice done for my da-ge, and I did, and for the rest – I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” Lan Xichen said. “I don’t know, either.”

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang thought. Spine as steel as your saber.

“Would you like to come visit the Unclean Realm sometime?” he asked, pretending to be casual. “Perhaps we can figure out what we don’t know together. If you like.”

“…perhaps I will,” Lan Xichen said.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #xue yang #lan xichen #jin rusong #jin ling #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #my fic #my fics #nothing ventured nothing gained

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person-behind-books · 2 years

Text

so like I know a lot of people hate JC for taking part in the siege of burial mounds but I’m pretty sure he didn’t really have a choice.

That was what? 4 years after lotus pier burned to the ground and every diciple with it.

And even with all he accomplished there is no way they could have been strong enough to stand against any of the other great sects.

And with JYL dead there was no one to calm him and maybe have a talk with WWX.

So then when he was approached about the siege (probably by JGS) while in theory he could have said no in reality he would have to choose between all the diciples that swore their live and loyalty to him or the brother his sister died for, who even if he chose him might still die.

And for those saying “but he lead the siege”: even in his hate and grief he made the same choice only now he was a bit more proactive in protecting the sect.

And for those that say he killed WWX:

cql: WWX literally threw himself of a cliff. pretty sure he would have done that even without JC stabbing in a rock.

mdzs: pretty sure that also was suicide via corpses ripping him apart and JC was just close enough to have the rumors twist over time he was the one that killed WWX

and I know he has faults and is full of hate for wwx at this point in time but also it’s mdzs: no one is a villan and no one a hero, they’re all just people trying their best not to drown.

Also there are a lot of jc antis that hate him but also in the same breath praise lwj for having stood up for wwx and while yes he did good for him. I don’t think one should compare those two. they are in entirely different situations.

lwj is in love with wwx and a second son. this means he can be biased as fuck against everyone he pleases (look at how he treated jc during canon. only someone in power act like that to someone in a higher position) while also having a relatively free rain for his actions. yes he will be punished for them but if it had been lxc to protect wwx there would be no lan sect. the other sects would have decided they are yllz followers and wiped whem out. but lwj is just a very high standing desiple. his actions while reflecting on his sect don’t dictate him and doesn’t decide the live/death of it.

Meanwhile jc was in a position where it did.

so no don’t compare those two.

#mdzs #cql #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #jiang cheng #wei wuxian's death #first siege on the burial mounds #sorry if i offended anyone #sorry for my terrible english

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poorlittleyaoyao · 2 years

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CQL Rewatch Episode 4: recalled as shouting “THANK GOD, IT IS MY BOY”

-LAN PEDAGOGY IS SO BAD. Too many words! Too many directives phrased as what you shouldn’t do and not what you should do!

-There’s great meta about NHS and the bird, and the foreshadowing for what he pulls off later, but I want to know what his thought process was that morning. He does not normally have a bird with him. It was not an “oops, forgot I had the bird with me!” situation. The boy made the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to hide a bird in his robes during the welcome ceremony. What happens in your head, Huaisang?

-I LOVE MENG YAO’S REACTION TO THE BIRD SITUATION SO MUCH. It’s one of the few times we see him trying to suppress a genuine smile rather than plastering on a fake one! His quiet amusement, plus NHS hiding behind him (and MY stepping in front of him!) even though MY is unarmed when Wen Chao tries to start shit later both convey SO MUCH about their relationship at this point in the narrative. They care about each other! And it’s going to go to shit!

-When you think about it, the first person to stand up for MY isn’t LXC, but Lan Qiren, who tells those random exposition gossip dudes to shut up. Where is my fic where MY decides that LQR is his new and better dad?

-”Wow, Wei-gongzi! You dared to face Wen Chao and nobody else did!” exclaims NHS, right next to Jiang Cheng (who ALSO stood his ground against Wen Chao), and somehow forgetting LXC disarmed everyone by playing a little flute solo.

-GODDDDDD THE FUCKING FAREWELL SCENE. IT’S SUCH! A SETUP! FOR ALL THE WAYS THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS! Meng Yao’s ultra-deferential “Meng Yao is just a guest of the Nie, not a disciple” (and I REALLY wanna know what the word is that Netflix renders as “guest,” bc “guest” in English conveys a privileged status IMO; “servant” or “assistant” or even “vassal” seems like it’d be more apt) combined with the carefully blank expression spawned 12k words and counting of fic because ohhh mannn is there baggage there. And LXC’s “In that case, I can’t urge you to stay” makes perfect sense for him, because he’s like “ah! it would be awful to disregard his wishes! I will respect them!“

Except unfortunately! Based on MY’s face journey when he turns around, and his general pattern of behavior that we see later! MY would actually have liked it very much if LXC had been like “Are you sure? I can write to Chifeng-zun; I’m sure he wouldn’t mind someone keeping Huaisang on-task” or something like that to intervene on his behalf! But LXC doesn’t do that! Because he’s trying to be respectful! (Or, less charitably, it doesn’t even OCCUR to him that MY doesn’t have the agency that a member of the nobility would, because for all his good intentions, his own privilege blinds him. But his quick reassurance to MY that NMJ definitely trusts him and will respect/reward his merits suggests that LXC noticed something was up with MY’s response.

oh no I’m emotional doing this while drinking was a m i s t a k e

-”There are only mountains back home, no rivers!” Huaisang. Honey. Where do you think the rivers come from. NHS out here flunking geography class as well as cultivation class.

-additional Wen Qing time was THEE BEST change that this adaptation made

-The sibling soup supper makes me irrationally angry. GIVE!!! YOUR SISTER!!!! SOME FUCKING!!! FISH!!!!!!

-Lan Qiren I am BEGGING you to learn what UDL is. Please engage your kinesthetic and visual learners. Please give them a brain break every 45 minutes.

-concept: AU where everything is the same except Lan Qiren uses Class Dojo and awards points for good choices.

-”Imp” sure was a bold translation choice, Netflix.

-“Why not dig up a hundred people to suppress this one (1) dude?” BECAUSE THAT’S NOT PRACTICAL, WEI WUXIAN. THE GHOST IS GOING TO EAT EVERYONE BEFORE YOU’RE DONE DIGGING.

-hey Wen sibs your spy mission would be a lot more subtle if one of you actually WENT TO CLASS EVER :|

-the degree to which “Careless Whisper” is playing in Wen Ning’s head as WWX helps him with his archery stance is truly stupendous

-“Wen-guniang, why do I always see you in the back hill?” girl what were YOU doing in the back hill?

#masala necromancy wizard hour

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gay-snom · 3 years

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contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

#its My post and i get to pick the subplot #i have...brainworms #wwx and lwj are foils in the public image theme change my mind #mdzs #mdzs meta #lan wangji #mo dao zu shi #stfu #meta

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pumpkinpaix · 3 years

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Hello! Feel free not to answer this question if it is in any way too much, but I've been wondering about something concerning the "western" mdzs fandom. Lately, i have seen multiple pieces of fanart that use what is clearly Christian symbolism and sometimes downright iconography in depicting the characters. I'm a european fan, but it still makes me vaguely uneasy. I know that these things are rarely easy to judge. I'm definitely not qualified to do so and was wondering if you have an opinion

Hi there! thank you for your patience and for the interesting question! I’ve been thinking about this since i received this ask because it?? idk, it’s difficult to answer, but it also touches on a a few things that I find really interesting.

the short answer: it’s complicated, and I also don’t know what I feel!

the longer answer:

i think that this question is particularly difficult to answer because of how deeply christianity is tied to the western art and literary canon. so much of what is considered great european art is christian art! If you just take a quick glance at wiki’s page on european art, you can see how inextricable christianity is, and how integral christian iconography has been in the history of european art. If you study western art history, you must study christian imagery and christian canon because it’s just impossible to engage with a lot of the work in a meaningful way without it. that’s just the reality of it.

Christianity, of course, also has a strong presence in european colonial and imperialist history and has been used as a tool of oppression against many peoples and nations, including China. I would be lying if I said I had a good relationship with Christianity--I have always faced it with a deep suspicion because I think it did some very, very real damage, not just to chinese people, but to many cultures and peoples around the world, and that’s not a trauma that can be easily brushed aside or reconciled with.

here is what is also true: my maternal grandmother was devoutly christian. my aunt is devoutly christian. my uncle’s family is devoutly christian. my favorite cousin is devoutly christian. when I attended my cousin’s wedding, he had both a traditional chinese ceremony (tea-serving, bride-fetching, ABSURDLY long reception), and also a christian ceremony in a church. christianity is a really important part of his life, just as it’s important to my uncle’s family, and as it was important to my grandmother. I don’t think it’s my right or place to label them as simply victims of a colonialist past--they’re real people with real agency and choice and beliefs. I think it would be disrespectful to act otherwise.

that doesn’t negate the harm that christianity has done--but it does complicate things. is it inherently a bad thing that they’re christian, due to the political history of the religion and their heritage? that’s... not a question I’m really interested in debating. the fact remains that they are christian, that they are chinese, and that they chose their religion.

so! now here we are with mdzs, a chinese piece of media that is clearly Not christian, but is quickly gaining popularity in euroamerican spaces. people are making fanart! people are making A LOT of fanart! and art is, by nature, intertextual. a lot of the most interesting art (imo) makes deliberate use of that! for example (cyan art nerdery time let’s go), Nikolai Ge’s What is Truth?

I love this painting! it’s notable for its unusual depiction of christ: shabby, unkempt, slouched, in shadow. if you look for other paintings of this scene, christ is usually dignified, elegant, beautiful, melancholy -- there’s something very humanizing and humbling about this depiction, specifically because of the way it contrasts the standard. it’s powerful because we as the audience are expected to be familiar with the iconography of this scene, the story behind it, and its place in the christian canon.

you can make similar comments about Gentileschi’s Judith vs Caravaggio’s, or Manet’s Olympia vs Ingres’ Grande Odalisque -- all of these paintings exist in relation to one another and also to the larger canon (i’m simplifying: you can’t just compare one to another directly in isolation etc etc.) Gauguin’s Jacob Wrestling the Angel is also especially interesting because of how its portrayal of its content contrasts to its predecessors!

or! because i’m really In It now, one of my favorite paintings in the world, Joan of Arc by Bastien-Lepage:

I just!!! gosh, idk, what’s most interesting to me in this painting is the way it seems to hover between movements: the hyperrealistic, neoclassical-esque take on the figure, but the impressionistic brushstrokes of the background AAA gosh i love it so much. it’s really beautiful if you ever get a chance to see it in person at the Met. i’m putting this here both because i personally just really like it and also as an example of how intertextuality isn’t just about content, but also about visual elements.

anyways, sorry most of this is 19thc, that was what i studied the most lol.

(a final note: if you want to read about a really interesting painting that sits in the midst of just a Lot of different works, check out the wiki page on Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa, specifically under “Interpretation and Legacy”)

this is all a really long-winded way of getting to this point: if you want to make allusory fanart of mdzs with regards to western art canon, you kind of have to go out of your way to avoid christian imagery/iconography, especially when that’s the lens through which a lot of really intensely emotional art was created. many of my favorite paintings are christian: Vrubel’s Demon, Seated, Perov’s Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, Ge’s Conscience, Judas, Bastien-Lepage’s Joan of Arc, as shown above. that’s not to say there ISN’T plenty of non-christian art -- but christian art is very prominent and impossible to ignore.

so here are a few pieces of fanwork that I’ve seen that are very clearly making allusions to christian imagery:

1. this beautiful pietà nielan by tinynarwhals on twitter

2. a lovely jiang yanli as our lady of tears by @satuwilhelmiina

3. my second gif in this set here, which I will also show below:

i’m only going to talk about mine in depth because well, i know exactly what i was thinking when I put this gif together while I can’t speak for anyone else.

first: the two lines of the song that I wanted to use for lan xichen were “baby, I’m a fighter//in the robes of a saint” because i felt that they fit him very well. of course, just the word “saint” evokes catholicism, even if it’s become so entwined in the english language that it’s taken on a secular meaning as well.

second: when I saw this scene, my immediate thought was just “PIETÀ!!” because LOOK at that composition! lan xichen’s lap! nie mingjue lying perpendicular to it! the light blue/white/silver of lan xichen in contrast to the darker robes of both nie mingjue and meng yao! not just that, but the very cool triangular structure of the image is intensely striking, and Yes, i Do love that it simultaneously ALSO evokes deposition of christ vibes. (baxia as the cross.... god..... is that not the Tightest Shit) does this make meng yao joseph of arimathea? does it make him john the evangelist? both options are equally interesting, I think when viewed in relation to his roles in the story: as a spy in qishan and as nmj’s deputy. maybe he’s both.

anyways, did I do this intentionally? yes, though a lot of it is happy accident/discovered after the fact since I’m relying on CQL to have provided the image. i wanted to draw attention to all of that by superimposing that line over that image! (to be clear: I didn’t expect it to all come through because like. that’s ridiculous. the layers you’d have to go through to get from “pretty lxc gifset” --> “if we cast nie mingjue as a christ figure, what is the interesting commentary we could do on meng yao by casting him as either joseph of arimathea or john the evangelist” are like. ok ur gonna need to work a little harder than slapping a song lyric over an image to achieve an effect like that.)

the point of this is: yes, it’s intentionally christian, yes I did this, yes I am casting these very much non-christian characters into christian roles for this specific visual work -- is this okay?

I obviously thought it was because I made it. but would I feel the same about a work that was written doing something similar? probably not. I think that would make me quite uncomfortable in most situations. but there’s something about visual art that makes it slightly different that I have trouble articulating -- something about how the visual often seeks to illustrate parallels or ideas, whereas writing characters as a different religion can fundamentally change who those characters are, the world they inhabit, etc. in a more... invasive?? way. that’s still not quite right, but I genuinely am not sure how to explain what i mean! I hope the general idea comes across. ><

something else to think about is like, what are pieces I find acceptable and why?

what makes the pieces above that reference christian imagery different than this stunning nieyao piece by @cyandemise after klimt’s kiss? (warnings for like, dead bodies and vague body horror) like i ADORE this piece (PLEASE click for fullview it’s worth it for the quality). it’s incredibly beautiful and evocative and very obviously references a piece of european art. I have no problem with it. why? because it isn’t explicitly christian? it’s still deeply entrenched in western canon. klimt certainly made other pieces that were explicit christian references.

another piece I’d like to invite you all to consider is this incredible naruto fanart of sakura and ino beheading sasuke after caravaggio’s judith. (warnings for beheading, blood, etc. you know.) i also adore this piece! i think it’s very good both technically and conceptually. the reference that it makes has a real power when viewed in relation to the roles of the characters in their original story -- seeing the women that sasuke fucked over and treated so disrespectfully collaborating in his demise Says Something. this is also!! an explicitly christian reference made with non-christian japanese characters. is this okay? does it evoke the same discomfort as seeing mdzs characters being drawn with christian iconography? why or why not?

the point is, I don’t think there’s a neat answer, but I do think there are a lot of interesting issues surrounding cultural erasure/hegemony that are raised by this question. i don’t think there are easy resolutions to any of them either, but I think that it’s a good opportunity to reexamine our own discomfort and try and see where it comes from. all emotions are valid but not all are justified etc. so I try to ask, is it fair? do i apply my criticisms and standards equally? why or why not? does it do real harm, or do i just not like it? what makes one work okay and another not?

i’ve felt that there’s a real danger with the kind of like, deep moral scrutiny of recent years in quashing interesting work in the name of fear. this morality tends to be expressed in black and white, good and bad dichotomies that i really do think stymies meaningful conversation and progress. you’ll often see angry takes that boil down to things like, “POC good, queer people good, white people bad, christianity bad” etc. without a serious critical examination of the actual issues at hand. I feel that these are extraordinarily harmful simplifications that can lead to an increased insularity that isn’t necessarily good for anyone. there’s a fine line between asking people to stay in their lane and cultural gatekeeping sometimes, and I think that it’s something we should be mindful of when we’re engaging in conversations about cultural erasure, appropriation etc.

PERHAPS IT IS OBVIOUS that I have no idea where that line falls LMAO since after all that rambling I have given you basically nothing. but! I hope that you found it interesting at least, and that it gives you a bit more material to think on while you figure out where you stand ahaha.

was this just an excuse to show off cool (fan)art i like? maybe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(ko-fi)

#Anonymous #asks and replies #art #fanart #art history #christianity #mdzs #mdzs meta #meta #mine #mymeta #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #lmfao this post is a mess ive been staring at it for like a week and at this point im just gonna post it to the wall and keep moving asldfj #hope you enjoyed

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watch-grok-brainrot · 3 years

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CQL Characters as Teas I’ve Had

This started because @needtherapy knows I'm a tea nerd and wanted an idea for what tea would lwj tell wwx he is... So pick a tea that suits the characters well she basically told me... and this spiral out of control... oops. sorry not that sorry. this is another tea post no one asked for... except maybe needtherapy. but she didn’t ask for THIS MUCH of it.

Wwx: onyx -- this is a tea i got at a tea festival last year from a guy based in chicago. it’s made from a white tea cultivar but made into a black tea. it’s really yummy and pretty deep. unorthodox for sure but still rooted in tradition and well crafted.

Lwj: aged fuding silver needle white tea -- if wwx is a onyx, then lwj is the traditional tea made of the same stuff. delicious. traditional. respected.

Jc: a young sheng puer -- needs to mature a little. Astringent. Need time make the edges soften some. the astringency sometimes make me think of zidian.

Jyl: lotus scented fuzhan - mellow, smooth, round bodied and fragrant. Same feel as jyl's steadiness and kindness (fuzhuan is a heicha, same category as puer) it’s a scented tea so sometimes tea snobs will look down at it. but it’s REALLY good so their loss (i’m looking at you ep 3-27 jzxuan)

Lxc: aged white tea cake, over 25 years old. it’s respected and almost legendary but not necessarily pretentious.

Nhs: ducksh*t oolong - amazing tea. Ridiculous name. The farmer probably named the motherbush to deter buyers. kinda like nhs’ YiWenSanBuZhi title.

Nmj: muzha tieguanyin - strong flavor, took a little time to grow on me, classic though (not to be confused with anxi tgy, btw. very different teas. same cultivar though, iirc)

Jgy: hunan bloolong - this is a tea made from a cultivar usually used to make oolongs that was processed as a black. A named coined by harney and sons in nyc. While the tea might be decent and the concept good, it's inevitably tainted by the inexplicably awful naming. Just like jgy is tainted by his evil deeds even if he had lots of potential.

Jzxuan: jinjunmei - modern and well received. Quality but also very pricey. sometimes i wonder if it’s worth the price...

Lqy/mianmian: farmer’s choice baozhong -- i get mine from a shop in seattle. it’s a light oolong that’s floral and refreshing. i love this tea. i love mianmian. it’s not a particularly rare and definitely not pretentious. but it’s good and definitely one i love to drink.

Wq: there is a tea that i get from a vendor in chicago called “Black Dancong Champion” that’s made from a Mi Lan Xiang (Honey Orchid Fragrance) cultivar and allowed to fully oxidize. it’s a delicious tea that’s won best tea award at a competition before. wq is the best doctor of qi shan and definitely not 100% traditional so i think this suits her. also the cultivar has such a pretty name which also suits her.

Wn: so... this is a weird tea story but i have a tea that my dad’s high school buddy picked in yunnan. the best leaves were made into something i can’t afford. he had some cast-off leaves that he asked the tea master to process anyway. and then when we were in chongqing in 2017, he gave me about 300g of it. it’s PHENOMENAL tea but he kinda waved his hand at it saying it was second rate stuff anyway. that’s kinda what wen ning is. he’s amazing as a character -- loyal, interesting, sweet. but the cultivation world as a whole doesn’t appreciate him. it doesn’t make him any less good though!

Lsz: modern chinese lapsang suchong. The name suggests strong smoke (aka the Wens) but it's actually really soft and fruity.

Ljy: high grade jasmine green made from tender buds from an early spring harvest with jasmine flowers added and sifted out at least seven times. i love this tea even if it’s “flavored”. i like its personality!

Jl: pre-qingming dragonwell - soft green tea. maybe described as nutty in flavor? you don’t get too many brews from it. first flush (hence the early spring picking) and tender. i think in a lot of ways this tea shows how young the leaves are -- just like jl shows how young he is in many parts of the story.

Oyzz: lychee tea blended with rose buds and honeysuckle buds. He's simple but delightful. (idk if this is a blend people can buy? i take cheap grocery store lychee and blend in rose buds and honeysuckle buds i buy when i’m in china... i really like a good rose and lychee combo but it’s a bit too sharp when blended and the honeysuckle does a good job of mellowing it out... this is also the ONLY tea i blend myself.. it’s just a thing for me. idk why)

Sl: aged glutinous rice scented puer - i like the texture of the tea and i also like how it ages well.

Xxc: jinxuan/milk oolong -- a cultivar that makes a really nice round tea. it’s slightly creamy in mouth feel and scent. there are milk oolongs have have milk flavor added. THIS IS NOT THAT. This is WAY BETTER.

Xy: unaged ripe puer - some people like it i guess? idk why. seems like a bad idea.

A-qing: london fog (Earl grey latte with vanilla and sugar) -- soft and yummy but don't screw it up or it may not be good. also not actually pretentious tea.

And for the antagonists:

Wzl: twinnings or bigelow earl grey. passible. doing the minimal work to get purchased. i don’t hate it but i also don’t love it. acceptable go to in hotels and restaurants when i forgot to/can’t bring my own tea.

SuSh*t: lipton. He's not good tea. Passable cold brewed I guess.

Jxzun: instant tea mix. >.> probably flavored. i’m not sure if i would even consider it tea... (i’m thinking a beverage like crystal light peach tea. i mean, i used to drink it and i’m not gonna judge people for drinking it but it’s not really a thing i would choose to consume anymore... but i’m a tea snob now...)

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lhaewiel · 3 years

Text

So.

Previously on my "The Untamed/MDZS Ice Skating AU".

Unfortunately for y'all I have not finished talking about it. as always, a big thank you to @galaxy-darkmoon for giving me rope, and also @the-nonchalance-blogs for giving me the idea in the first place.

We left things at the double divorce JFM/YZY and JGS/Madam Jin.

At this point in time the other players step in. I will start with the WangXian and continue on with the SangCheng part.

I will do the XiYao drama in the next post cos this is already way too long and I need to think.

Anyway, enjoy. Under the cut

THE WANGXIAN DRAMA

Now, WWX is still competing and training under freshly divorced JFM as a solo - and possibly the star of the Jiang rink. A lot of people and journalists have a lot of things to say about the Choices™(C) made by JFM, but WWX's skills and prowess and several silver and gold medals on his rack, plus several trophies won jot all of that down.

Enter the Lans. The Lans are an extremely traditionalist family of ice skaters, who only skate with classical/traditional music and that has become through the years their trademark.

LQR, the coach and also LXC and LWJ's uncle, after the untimely disappearance of the parents, and the two brothers have trained a lot - LXC is already in the seniors category, whilst LWJ is still in the juniors category.

It's time for regional championship and WWX is also competing.

And it's clichè, but it is love at first ina bauer and toe loop for both WWX and LWJ. They both score first and whilst JFM and LQR are already down to throw hands for the gold medal, WWX blurts out a "why don't we share? we are both really good, so why don't we share the podium." This all whilst being the usual feral gremlin. LWJ is like, "no, it's not in the rules", but LXC is like "uncle, that's a really good suggestion" and LQR is at an inch from losing it, JFM deals the final blow like "you heard WWX, come on! let's praise them both!" and LQR concedes.

JC has seen the thing and he is at the "this might as well happen" point and just leaves the rink where he was watching WWX without a word. I will come back on this in just a moment.

LQR anyway invites WWX at the Gusu rink to train, stuff that happens once every blue moon, and JFM is like "yes, that is my son" "Uncle Jiang I am not your son" "Details, just go." "Ok, let me say goodbye to people."

And by "people" he means JC and Yanli, who were there to watch him compete.

Yanli congratulates him and says that JC is outside.

WWX goes to JC, who has had A Day™ and is just like "congrats, if it had been me at your place my father would have preferred to give up the position rather than have me share the podium" "Aw you know he doesn't mean that. I know you are as good as me and one day he will see that." "well, good luck then, I have stopped competing, say that to Father™"

More drama.

More misunderstanding.

JC goes back home, packs up and rents a flat near the Nie rink. He takes the position as ice skating teacher for kids over there and tries finding some sort of peace, whilst still aching over the above mentioned drama.

WWX goes to Gusu with the ache of having lost a brother completely and yes, being close to LWJ does make him feel better, but he still misses greatly his family.

Anyway the national championships approach and eventually WWX and LWJ change into a pair, become an item and end up skating into the sunset over wangxian.mp3, break several rules, get disqualified and then LQR and JFM, pressed by LXC, make an appeal and get the commission to accept them.

WWX and LWJ skating off into the sunset inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpp5XKiQqBE

THE SANGCHENG DRAMA

I said that JC stops competing, goes away from YZY's rink, rents a flat and goes teaching ice skating to kids at the Nie rink.

Now, the Nie have a team of hockey players. NMJ is the coach, NZH is the captain and NHS should technically be on the team as well, but he'd rather pull out paper and pencil and sketch out the things that interest him the most, birds most notably. NHS has an extensive collection of fans as well.

NMJ is fuming bc NHS has the capability and the potential to be the perfect ice hockey player, but he'd rather just NOT participate in that. NMJ has unfortunately a chronical illness and knows he can't be forever there, he would LOVE for his brother to inherit the team, but he has not said anything about his chronical illness to NHS thinking that if he did maybe NHS would feel too much pressured. He does not know that NHS knows about the chronical illness and is the one making sure that NMJ takes his medications.

In any case, when JC starts teaching, NHS is fascinated. He watches JC gracefully glide on the ice and be generally the Ice Price Of His Dreams, If Not For The Aggressiveness, but considering that also NMJ Tends To Be That Way Too, NHS assumes that there is some turmoil going on and makes it his mission to uncover All Of That™.

THat and also NHS really enjoys drawing JC gliding gracefully on the ice - too bad JC discovers this and also NMJ is VERY perceptive, but NOT subtle at all, so when NMJ says "HUAISANG COME AND PLAY!" "One sec bro, I have to finish something" "STOP LOOKING AT THE TEACHER'S ASS AND COME HERE NOW OR I WILL BURN YOUR FANS." "... Thank you bro for destroying any chance I had."

Awkwardness ensues.

JC is unfortunately very direct and does not beat around the bush. NHS confesses. JC is in a mystic crisis bc "OMG someone likes ME, the CRANKIEST and ANGRIEST man on earth." NHS takes a step back and notes, in his 35 steps plan on how to court and conquer JC that he needs to make him understand that "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return".

It takes NHS to step in to win a game, whilst NMJ is in the hospital bc the chronic illness is too much to bear, JC taking NHS to the hospital to see NMJ alive and slightly better, NMJ's blessing to NHS and JC and NHS throwing himself onto JC after NMJ is asleep bc THE PRESSURE, THE WORRY, THE CONCERN, and JC says that he will be there and NHS wanted to be the conquering one, but he ends up conquered by the heart of gold of JC.

JC reveals all about his family and NHS convinces him to reconcile, if not with his parents, with WWX and Yanli. Things work out bc HS is great at mediating and JC is genuinely touched by him.

WWX and Yanli tell JC to go for it, bc it is clear that there is some sort of sentiment, thus forcing JC to sort himself out.

JC sorts his feelings out and declares his love to NHS by performing a choreography on "Nature Boy" by David Bowie.

See you next time with the XiYao and Xuanli part.

#the untamed #the untamed ice skating au #mine #but do feel free to use any of this #as long as you credit me #wangxian #sangcheng

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perkynurples · 4 years

Note

... May I ask you about the slow excruciating progression from Meng Yao to Jiggy?

also paging @holdmycaffeine and @cadencekismet, who asked me for the very same, and @acutebird-fics, who is my partner in crime deep philosophical discussions about these characters, and a great deal of this messy essay is informed by those

Tl;dr: JGY is a multifaceted character and the author struggles not to lose her mind trying to find the right words to describe that. Literally every single point of this rant is up for discussion, begging for it even, so please don’t hesitate to engage me, but, like... tomorrow, maybe. After I sleep it off.

Meta I used or referenced: THIS ONE explaining how JGS deciding to give him the name GuangYao is all kinds of wrong | THIS ONE talking about the red bindi-like Jin forehead dots, among other things | THIS ONE about his capacity for evil and his own recognition thereof

Alright, without any fancy preamble, here goes. Honestly, whenever I think about JGY for more than three seconds, it becomes painfully evident that there are two wolves inside me at all times - one wants to spend tens of thousands of words exploring his narrative, his choices, his abilities and his failings, his capacity for violence as well as his capacity for love...

And the other one just likes to call him a gremlin in chief in a fancy hat, and doesn’t want to go much further than that. I’m going to try and feed them both.

The thing that pisses me off about Meng Yao is just. The fact that he doesn’t stay Meng Yao, and we get to watch it happen in slow motion. You get a tiny little twink-ass kid who suddenly finds himself adopted into the Nie by the Sect Leader himself, and this is Meng Yao, the son of one of Jin Guangshan’s many mistresses, who doesn’t have a whole lot going for him aside from that, at that moment - his cultivation, weak. His opportunities, nonexistent. His dick, small. His political savvy, only just starting to show itself.

And this guy gets the chance of a lifetime presented to him on a Qinghe-silver platter. Like, we can argue about book canon and try and decide if he did anything at all to make NMJ notice him, but show canon makes it all the more hilarious (again, please refer to this gem of a post for a level of humor I’m sorely incapable of) - you’re seventeen, and the Batman of the cultivation world picks you up and elevates your status across swathes of societal norms, to a level you previously could have only dreamed of.

It’s interesting to me to try and imagine if this was the moment that Meant Something - in the grand scope of things, of course it did, because it started MY on the road to JGY, but also to Meng Yao personally, in terms of what he believed he could comfortably achieve. I do not for a second believe he started out wanting to murder people to reach his goal, or that he even had a good goal to begin with - being accepted by his father, maybe. Murdering the (at the time) greatest villain in the world, becoming a renowned spy, landing an incredibly beneficial sworn brotherhood, et cetera et cetera? I mean, the kid has wet dreams, but no way do they reach this far at this point in his life.

But so many things about him are unclear. Show canon changes his timeline, in that he met NMJ before he met Lan Xichen, and even accompanied NHS to the Cloud Recesses. Either way, his stint with the Nie is incredibly personally important to him. I firmly believe he loved and admired them, in his own way. He certainly flourished under NMJ’s tutelage and approval, but in the end, his motivations, his entire raison d’etre, clashed with NMJ’s too much. To Meng Yao, who’d gotten kicked down those infamous Koi Tower stairs for daring to ask for his father’s attention, murdering a guy for slandering him and his mother was a natural outcome of being slandered his entire life, and finally having had enough - to NMJ, it was unforgivable.

But this still isn’t where Meng Yao becomes Jin Guangyao, and it begs the goddamn question - how much of what JGY was perfectly willing and capable of doing to stay in power, had been present in Meng Yao that entire time? You see him make excuses that someone who isn’t NMJ, with his incredibly staunch morals and black-and-white view of the world, might have even accepted, but instinctively, you know - making excuses is just how it’s going to be with this guy.

Because Meng Yao, as well as Jin Guangyao, lies, and he is damn good at it. He is so good at it, that he lies his way to the very top of the Wen, all the way to Wen Ruohan’s side. His lying is what enables him to become Jin Guangyao. And like any good liar, he doesn’t only lie to the people around him - he also lies to himself.

And I can’t blame him, because - been there. Lying to yourself becomes absolutely necessary, when you want to keep everyone else around you believing in a mask you wear. You need to start believing it, at least a little bit, at least sometimes, for it to work.

At this point, you’re probably wondering - but Annie, what about the time he spent a year sheltering Lan Xichen? Did he lie then? Was he not just Meng Yao, a poor but cunning bookkeeper, then? I’m getting there, I swear. Slowly and in a roundabout sort of way, because honestly, I don’t know how I can start talking about the LXC of it all, without it turning into a novel.

Because whichever way you twist it, whatever canon you choose to follow, one constant remains - A-Yao’s feelings for Lan Xichen. I’m deliberately not calling him Meng Yao or Jin Guangyao, because it’s these feelings that divide the two, but also ultimately unify them, fatally so. But we’ll get there.

In one version of events, Meng Yao travels to Cloud Recesses at the behest of NMJ, and falls in love with a statue made of jade there. In another version of events, they meet during something LXC only describes as ‘the shame of a lifetime’. Both of those events lead to Meng Yao sheltering LXC, hiding him, saving his life and those precious Gusu Lan texts.

Whatever version of events you choose to see as the right one, one other truth also remains - Lan Xichen offers freely and without asking that which Meng Yao has had to struggle to attain, that which has been denied to him time and time again, based only on the circumstances of his birth: respect. Lan Xichen never looks down on him, never brings up his origins, and instead extends him respect and dignity in a way only he is capable of - no fucking wonder Meng Yao admires him. No fucking wonder, when this amazing guy, this perfect pristine handsome number one young cultivator, looks at him, smiles at him, and actually sees him, son of a whore or not.

No fucking wonder Meng Yao loves him, and Jin Guangyao continues loving him. No fucking wonder he never means to hurt him, but does so anyway.

But here’s the thing - lying to yourself to make things work only gets you so far. Do I think Meng Yao spends restless nights in cold sweat dreading who he’s becoming, thinking about all the lives he’s taken to further his goals? Absolutely not. Do I think he does good things, often even great things, because it helps him feel better about himself? Do I think he both loves Xichen and keeps him around because it’s beneficial to him, having the Lan Sect Leader in his pocket, but also personally speaking, having someone who so firmly believes in the goodness in him? You bet your overly adorned murderhat I do.

And frankly, reducing Jin Guangyao to one or the other - coldblooded murderer or a man plagued by his own insecurities, helpless and trying to be kind in a world that’s so evidently against him - is doing a character like him a huge disservice. You have to consider all sides, if you want to truly understand him. Hell, I myself am by no means claiming to truly understand him! He pisses me off daily, and I’m writing this stream-consciousness-y thing because he simply won’t shut up in my head.

This kid makes Choices, and here’s the catch - he doesn’t regret a whole lot of them. If anything, I’d like to think he regrets going along with his father’s plans for so fucking long before finally realizing that avenue won’t bring him what he seeks. Killing Jin Guangshan, by the way? Very sexy of him, that I’ll admit. Guy was a pig.

But even the obviously Good Choices he makes? Building those damn watchtowers? Letting Mo Xuanyu stay at Koi Tower? Seating Qin Su by his side at that same throne where his shitty father entertained concubine after concubine? (Frankly, please make up your own mind as to whether he was lying or telling the truth about learning about Qin Su being his sister before or after they’d consummated their marriage, I’m choosing to believe that he hadn’t known.)

How much of it really happens out of the goodness of his own heart, and how much of it happens because he wants to improve his own reputation, kintsugi away the minuscule cracks in his own image until he’s once again a perfect picture of Jin gold? Is he himself even capable of telling the difference, recognizing where his good intentions end and his desire to look out for number one begins? When you spend so much time crafting your own perfect mask, in your own head as well as others’, the lines blur real fast.

I think ultimately, he craves respect as much as he does pity, and those two never mesh well - the cultivation world never truly accepts him, his father certainly never truly accepts him, but Jin Guangyao is not Wei Wuxian, he can’t just look at all of these perceived injustices and slights, all of this gossip and slander, and say ‘Whatever’. No, Meng Yao takes one look at the world standing against him so very vehemently, and decides to fight it, fight tooth and nail for his place in it, until he comes out Jin Guangyao on the other side, gilded and pristine, ascending the stairs of Jinlintai to exact his revenge on anyone who dares not accept him.

The Guanyin Temple, in a way, is a perfect little vignette of his character - we observe him wildly oscillating between seeking out the aforementioned respect and pity, confessing boldly and laughing loudly one second, and pleading on his knees and clutching onto Lan Xichen’s robe the next. To him, that night, and everything leading up to it, is a series of footholds - the ground begins crumbling under his feet when he learns of the letter, and he has to act fast.

He buys himself time, excuse after excuse, thinking on his feet, and here’s the thing - he’s not necessarily the best at that. Anymore. Up until that point, until the letter and Qin Su and WWX turning up, everything is going according to plan, and his plan at this point is, frankly, correct me if I’m wrong, sitting pretty at the top of his golden tower and making sure the truth about him never comes to light, which... Well, we all know the truth has a nasty way of coming around when it’s least convenient for you.

And I think Jin Guangyao (not Meng Yao) is, at that point, unused to being inconvenienced. Everything he ever does, he calculates, he twists the public opinion of himself, he twists individual people’s opinions of himself, to suit him - nothing unexpected ever happens anymore, because he’s played the game long enough to foresee most things. Nie Huaisang beats him at that same game, not because he has a huge plan spanning decades of his own, but because he’s good at improvising, kicking the hornet’s nest and then knowing where to direct the fallout - but that is another essay all of its own waiting to happen.

For now, I feel like I need to wrap this up before I lose my mind. Personally (and please feel free to challenge me on this any time), I don’t feel like there’s a single defining moment, or even a handful of them, traumatic or otherwise, that irrevocably turns Meng Yao into Jin Guangyao. Sure, being kicked down the literal stairs leading to a better place for you a handful of times will have you feeling some kind of way. Sure, serving a maniacal warlord while playing an impossibly high-stakes game of spy poker will leave a mark or two. Sure, your sworn brother spitting in your face the very insults you’ve been hearing your whole life and never learned to shake off, will make one more vestige of patience inside you irrevocably crumble to smithereens. But.

Your whole life, you work very, very hard. You know to put your head down and get your hands dirty, but you also know that sometimes, the best way out of a hairy situation is turning on those puppy eyes and appearing just a smidgen weaker, a smidgen more frightened and helpless, than you actually are. And if, when you actually tell the truth and people still don’t believe you, lying becomes easier, becomes, eventually, so easy it feels as natural as breathing? Well. Might as well use that particular skillset to sneak your way through a war, am I right? Might as well use it to build yourself a nest among the very vultures who resent you, and whom you resent, and make sure that they have to respect you.

In the end, to me? Jin Guangyao is the guy who jumps from person to person, from callout to very personal callout, there in the Guanyin Temple, just to stall for time, just to regain some sort of foothold in the situation - he’s the guy who probably views losing an arm as a necessary sacrifice, shakes it off and still gets to work from there.

Meng Yao is the guy who wants to take his mother with, and who asks Lan Xichen the one question he’s dreaded knowing the answer to his entire life - not ‘will you stay and die with me?’, but the one that hides beyond that.

Is this what devotion is? Respect? Love? Is there, at this moment in time, enough of all of those things in your heart that you will, in fact, stay and die with me?

When Lan Xichen says yes, without words but still loudly enough to be understood without a doubt, Meng Yao is relieved, while Jin Guangyao is vindicated.

When Lan Xichen says yes, neither version of A-Yao needs to hear any more than that - the seventeen-year-old boy shooting a shot way above his station and loving a statue made of jade, who wants Lan Xichen to survive, and the man wearing the wrong name and the title of the first Chief Cultivator of his generation, who wants Lan Xichen to live with the weight of all his mistakes and misgivings, are both, for once, in accord. They’re both happy, and they both make that final push to save him.

In conclusion, if there even is one to this jumble of random thoughts... Jin Guangyao and Meng Yao are one and the same. Aspects of one can be found in the other, but neither feels remorse about his choices. Both of them, in turn, are capable of amazing things. Both of them are, in fact, capable of decidedly horrible things. One builds a wall around the other so thick, so impenetrable, you only catch glimpses, and only the ones he allows you to see. One learns very quickly that vulnerability is dangerous, unless employed proactively, and the other one perfects the craft.

Both of them believe they are perfectly justified in their actions. Both of them believe their own line of reasoning, their own excuses. Both of them want to be loved, for very different reasons, or for the very same ones, at the end of the day.

Both of them aspire to greatness, Meng Yao some vague idea of it instilled in him by his mother teaching him to believe his own worth, Jin Guangyao a more concrete vision of it, always one step ahead, one step higher up those gilded stairs. Both of them are willing to excuse a whole lot to reach it, too.

And when Jin Guangyao finally stands in Koi Tower, properly this time, wearing that coveted golden peony, wearing that red zhushazhi and a much nicer version of the hat his mother always told him to wear, but also wearing the wrong fucking name, one that barely gives him a spot in the family he belongs to by blood?

All he needs to do is take one look in the mirror to see Meng Yao staring back, always there with him, always ready to remind him where he came from. He’s seventeen years old, and he just buried his mother, and somewhere out there, the rest of his life awaits. His smile is all dimples, and that, too, they have in common.

Time to get to work, Meng Yao suggests, and Jin Guangyao agrees.

#jin guangyao #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #so this is..... a thing.#honestly I'm. i can't say that eloquence was my primary goal here #can't really even be sure WHAT the primary goal was #but this is now a thing that exists so take it off my hands I suppose #while I go make some hot chocolate and think of bunny rabbits and rainbows for a while #to cleanse my palate #Anonymous #ask #jgy #my meta

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crossdressingdeath · 3 years

Note

Friend and I have had a lot of discussions about LXC going off on WWX at Guanyin Temple. I think the biggest reason people are so harsh on LXC about it is because even after LXC realized WWX’s memory is badly damaged the night of the Nightless City massacre, he still lets out his anger onto WWX.

My friend pointed at how LXC had an almost idealistic view of his brother until Nightless City. LWJ was seen as the best of GusuLan ideals. He never realized LWJ was in love with WWX until he took WWX away from Nightless City and confessed, then committed treason. He thought LWJ had been finally moving on with “MXY” and found out it was everything happening again with WWX after Koi Tower.

LXC has been angry at WWX for 13 years and suppressed it because even though he knows LWJ made his own choices of his own free will, he still blamed WWX as the reason LWJ made those choices. He finds out WWX’s memory is badly damaged, sees how distraught WWX is not remembering because he keeps repeating how he didn’t know, and even if LXC now knows WWX never remembered anything that happened, he’s still angry at and calls WWX the only mistake LWJ ever made.

LXC loves his brother so much and it’s understandable he’s be angry on LWJ’s behalf. It’s understandable why LXC is angry, and why his anger overrides the sudden reveal of WWX’s damaged memory. LXC still held onto the view that LWJ wasn’t capable of these things unless WWX was in the picture. It’s why he still viewed WWX as a mistake. It’s understandable why his anger reaches it’s burning point remembering and telling WWX about the night he forgot.

He knows now it’s not WWX’s fault he forgot, he knows now WWX knew nothing, but LXC isn’t perfect and he’s been angry about the situation for 13 years. He’ll definitely regret it while he’s in seclusion and has time to work everything out, and it’s something that’ll sit between him and WWX when he leaves seclusion. But rather than viewing that moment as a “how dare he do this to WWX” I see a lot of people get with that moment, my friend and I just see it as a brother’s emotions finally hitting their boiling point and taking it out on the person he thinks is most at fault for it despite reasonably knowing that’s how the case.

There’s no one really in the right or wrong in that moment. It’s just a horrible misunderstanding that’s built up and exploded because of all the emotions involved.

But the thing is, he does calm down when he learns WWX genuinely has no memory of LWJ’s confession (and also genuinely is in love with LWJ)! He doesn’t keep blowing up at WWX! He’s angry because LWJ got so hurt on WWX’s behalf and because he thinks WWX is toying with LWJ’s feelings; once he’s given proof that the latter at least is not true he calms down pretty fast. He’s angry with WWX for understandable reasons, and when he’s given reason to accept that those reasons aren’t accurate he backs off. LXC’s great and gets way more flack for being mad at WWX than he deserves.

#mdzs #lan xichen #anon #asks

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ibijau · 4 years

Note

“I’ve got a sick sense of justice, but you knew that.” 3zun fic? Where things work out between them, somehow, and yet JGY still kills JGS the same way and defends that choice to LXC and NMJ (Or JZX, if he's alive)? Can go full on JGS was stealing his women's energy, hence their sickness/deaths!

warning for mentions of death, rape and murder. Yay, it’s a happy one :D

Nie Mingjue storms into the cell, only for Jin Guangyao to look up and smile at him, as if he were welcoming him into his quarters, rather than locked up and in chains. He smiles just as peacefully to Lan Xichen when he follows their lover inside, pretending not to notice the other man's obvious distress.

"I hope Da-ge and Er-ge will forgive me if I do not stand and bow to them," Jin Guangyao calmly says, rattling his chains.

Nie Mingjue stares at him, taken aback.

Even though they have reached a tentative peace between them, and Jin Guangyao often makes efforts to be more open with them than he is with anyone else, he still is the same person he always was. When he gets in trouble, he makes himself pathetic before them, almost on instinct. Sometimes it annoys Nie Mingjue, but other times it feels almost like a joke between them, as long as Jin Guangyao has that twinkle in his eye to show he knows he won't be taken seriously.

To see him this calm and detached is unsettling. Nie Mingjue can only wonder if it has something to do with that large bruise on the side of his head. Going by the colour it is at least a day old. No cultivator of Jin Guangyao's level should have let this last this long.

"Ah, this," Jin Guangyao notes, feeling their gaze. "Zixun was not very happy and let it be known. I am sorry to present myself before you in such a state, but my powers have been sealed, and I could not do anything about it. Please, just avoid looking at it."

That makes Nie Mingjue frown. If Jin Zixun is behind one bruise, he's ready to bet there are more, hidden under Jin Guangyao’s clothes. He forces his mind to drift away from the worry he feels, because the real problem today is…

"Did you do it?" Lan Xichen asks, something wavering in his usually calm voice.

Jin Guangyao placidly looks up at him.

"What do you think, Er-ge?"

Lan Xichen trades a glance with Nie Mingjue.

What they think is that Jin Zixun, who uncovered the plot against his late uncle, is not the most reliable man in the world, and holds a grudge against Jin Guangyao since that near fiasco with Wei Wuxian at Jin Ling's hundredth day party.

They think also that he did bring convincing evidence. The most critical one is the testimony of a woman who took part in the murder of Jin Guangshan. She says she did not see the man who paid for her services, but she would recognise his voice. She also did see Xue Yang, and they all know the little creep respects no one except Jin Guangyao.

They think that Jin Zixuan is desperately trying to prove his half brother's innocence, but finding it difficult.

They think that Jin Guangyao has killed his superiors before.

They think he promised he wouldn't again, and they both made the choice to trust him.

And Nie Mingjue thinks, also, that although they've disagreed on means and motives, Jin Guangyao never strikes unprovoked, which he says out loud.

The tenderness in Jin Guangyao’s eyes as he hears this is nearly unbearable.

“Da-ge, are you really asking for my side of the story?” he asks in disbelief.

It might be sincere. It might be feigned. Nie Mingjue never knows with him, just as he suspects Jin Guangyao never knows what to expect from him.

“We know your father was not… the kindest of men,” Lan Xichen says gently, kneeling down next to Jin Guangyao to send some spiritual energy into him and help him heal. Jin Guangyao sighs in relief, but keeps his eyes on Nie Mingjue even as Lan Xichen continues speaking. “You have let us know about some of the things he’s done, A-Yao, and I’ve long suspected there’s more you never told us. If he did anything to deserve such an end…”

“Of course he deserved it,” Jin Guangyao cuts him, still looking at Nie Mingjue. “You both know it as well as I do. He deserved it whether I had a hand in it or not. He was a selfish man. He only joined the Sunshot Campaign because he hoped to become what Wen Ruohan had been. He only took me in because his true son, forcefully kept from the heat of the action, failed to garner glory for Lanling Jin. And I won't get into the details of everything that happened with Wei Wuxian."

"But none of these things are why you killed him," Nie Mingjue retorts, suddenly convinced that Jik Guangyao really did it.

Once, it would have filled him with rage to realise this. Back when he first understood what sort of a person his efficient and soft spoken friend was, when he saw Jin Guangyao murder his own captain… But since then, Nie Mingjue has learned to forgive, at least somewhat. Because when Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue’s men in Nightless City, he took care to only murder those who once derided him for his background, to lightly wound the ones who never mocked him.

It was still wrong, those were still good men, but Nie Mingjue, who had been burning for years with his hatred of the Wens, understood that better than he ought to have done.

So there is no anger as Nie Mingjue too kneels down next to their lover. Only disappointment. In himself, for wanting to excuse this most awful crime. In Jin Guangyao, for not coming to them this time, when he thought something was wrong. They had listened about Wei Wuxian, they would have listened about this too.

"Some brothels offer specialised services," Jin Guangyao says, the smile on his face shifting from loving to cold and polite, the way it used to be around his father. "I suppose this doesn't surprise you. Someone with money can always get what they want in this world."

Both Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen nod uncomfortably.

"Some of those services offered are of a rather different nature," Jin Guangyao goes on, his eyes growing distant. "They are difficult to perform, cannot be repeated, and cost an obscene amount of money… not to speak of the moral cost. It takes a certain kind of man to purchase such services. Believe it or not, even Xue Yang found it distasteful. For all the wrong reasons, but still, I think Da-ge and Er-ge will agree that it takes a lot to shock someone like Xue Yang."

Lan Xichen takes their lover's hand, trying to comfort him, but Nie Mingjue freezes. He is suddenly reminded of certain rumours, gossip so foul that it had to be exaggerated. He's always refused to pay it any mind, knowing well there were horror stories about him as well, as there always are against powerful men.

He can't escape it now.

“It’s not hard to find human cauldrons, if you know how to look for them,” Jin Guangyao states in a voice devoid of any emotion, staring somewhere in the distance. “And some men will always look for an easy way to improve their cultivation, even if it means raping and killing a girl for it. There are addresses, and certain euphemisms. These days, you would ask to see a Wen girl. I’ve learned that a few years ago, people called them educated women.”

Nie Mingjue only frowns at that comment, but next to him Lan Xichen gasps in horror, squeezing Jin Guangayo’s hand.

“Your mother…”

Jin Guangyao blinks a few times, and forces himself to look at Lan Xichen. It appears to take him great effort. Nie Mingjue wonders if it is the topic that causes this, or if the blow to his head caused more damage than is visible.

“No, don’t worry. She was just actually educated. It didn’t mean the same thing in Yunping as it did in Lanling, but my father found her attractive enough for his other purposes, I suppose.” Jin Guangyao looks away again, his face growing harder. “Others were not as lucky. It is all too easy to get what you want, with enough money.”

“You should have told us,” Nie Mingjue says. “If you had come to us with proof…”

“My father is not so stupid that he would have left proof,” Jin Guangyao hisses between clenched teeth, still staring at the wall. “Even he would have had trouble justifying doing such a thing to augment his power. I only found out because I went to fetch him with Xue Yang at a brothel one day, and heard him discussing in detail his next… purchase. Xue Yang happened to be knowledgeable about certain euphemisms we were hearing, and thought it entertaining to explain to me. After this I started looking. It’s funny what you find, when you look for it. It wasn’t proof enough to openly attack him, not with my background. But it was enough to be sure. And then…”

Jin Guangyao chuckles darkly, his eyes finally meeting Nie Mingjue’s.

“I’ve got a sick sense of justice, but you knew that,” he says with unnerving calm. “Xue Yang was on board because he thinks that sort of thing is cheating. Torturing the dead and cutting them from their reincarnation doesn’t phase him, but he knows it could have been him, if he’d been born a girl. And so we did what had to be done. My father died the way he lived.”

He pauses a moment, taking in the expression on his lovers’ faces, from Lan Xichen’s horror at that confession to Nie Mingjue’s anger that once again, this took clever man made all the wrong choices.

“Nobody else would have dared to stand against him,” Jin Guangyao adds, smiling feverishly, his gaze on Nie Mingjue. “But I’ve always been one to do what others wouldn’t. Someone has to get their hands dirty, Da-ge. I’ve never minded doing it when my turn came. I wonder if you will, now that you know the truth? You’ve always been such a champion of justice, always telling others to be righteous. Let’s see what choice you make, now that justice isn’t such an easy thing to decide.”

#jin guangyao #nie mingjue #lan xichen #3zun #mdzs #not super happy with this one #I think jgy is probably pretty ooc here oops?#jau writes #today sucks I just needed to get something done #Anonymous

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

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Howdy! Your writing rocks! If you don’t mind, could I ask you what you think would change if Jin Guangyao had given the regard he has for Lan Xichen to Jiang Cheng instead? Do you think there’d be huge changes or little ones? This isn’t a prompt, I think your meta is super cool. Obvs if you don’t wanna answer, there’s no pressure or anything.

So this is going to be more of an insight into the rambling way I develop stories than anything else, but basically these are my (very long) thoughts:

First step: the question is not “if”. The question is “how”. How does JGY come to have a regard for JC instead of LXC?

Let us posit that JGY meets (and becomes devoted to) LXC after he’s been thrown down from Koi Tower - rescuing him after the burning of the Cloud Recesses, which presumably happened while on his way to Qinghe or after he’s arrived (or, in the Untamed, when he’s working at Qinghe already).

So, let’s take that as our starting point: JGY doesn’t go to Qinghe.

He goes to Yunmeng instead, probably taking a boat to get there. Regardless of when he arrives, this doesn’t really go anywhere until after the Lotus Pier is burned, after everything that happens between WWX and JC happens, and now JC is raising an army and madly recruiting for the Jiang Sect. Meng Yao shows up with a smile and a “I’m from Yunping, just down the river, I want to help here” spiel, and he’s good - he’s efficient and smart and good with people, all the characteristics that made NMJ appreciate him, and JC needs good people so badly. Especially in the beginning, when he’s alone, with WWX missing.

But here’s the difference between NMJ and JC: JC needs people. He’s not a natural leader, having been dragged into trouble by WWX his whole life, and he’s brand new at being a sect leader; he doesn’t have established likes or dislikes, he has no idea what he’s doing. He’s going to rely on Meng Yao, he’s going to depend on Meng Yao - Meng Yao says jump and JC says “good idea, how high?” and he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it. Meng Yao is all but running the sect, and he doesn’t even have to try. No prostitutes’ tricks here, no smiles, no empty flattery - most of the subtle stuff goes straight over JC’s head, but a vaguely kind word every once in a while and JC will turn bright red and look pleased as punch for the next hour. That type of power is seductive.

And then WWX shows up.

As much as I love WWX, his dynamics with JC are not the best. WWX does whatever he wants and expects JC to follow, because he always has, and JC always does - how irritating that would be to Meng Yao, who up until this point has been put into the position of big brother for the first time in his life, and who now has to tip-toe around the ticking time bomb that is Yiling Patriarch!WWX to get what he wants. Plus, Meng Yao is good with people: he doesn’t need to know all the gossip about the Jiang family (though he does) to be able to figure out that, legitimate birth or not, JC has spent his entire life being treated like the sect leader’s dissatisfying bastard son - and oh, that hits Meng Yao in the one soft spot he has left, the spot that’s almost but not entirely narcissism, the one that LXC got into by being nice and kind and treating him like an equal, the one NHS, soft and dependent, got into by being sad and pathetic, and which JC, prickly and mean, gets in by virtue of being like Meng Yao.

He doesn’t do anything about that dislike, though; JC loves WWX, and the war effort needs him, so he’ll put up with him...for now. After a while, he goes to Langya - no need to have an accidentally-not-accidentally overheard conversation here! He just says “my father” and JC is like “I totally get it, go”. And when JC finds him killing that supervisor and Meng Yao says “he deserved it”, JC believes him, because JC is ride-or-die until you force him off the ride. He’s gullible and trusting, even though he thinks he’s cynical, and he’s about as susceptible to Meng Yao’s bullshit as LXC is (as we see in canon!)

So Meng Yao goes to be a spy and (because he doesn’t know LXC in this) he sends the info to JC, who sends the info to LXC (the courier), who gets it to NMJ, and all that stuff happens about the same way. Except NMJ has no reason to know that Meng Yao is a conniving bastard that uses friendly fire to settle debts, so when Meng Yao says “I had no choice but to kill them”, NMJ is upset but has no reason to doubt it. And now you have NMJ owing Meng Yao a favor, however grudgingly.

No sworn brothers, though, not with LXC to suggest it and without NMJ wanting to put Meng Yao on the right track, and JC is pretty sensitive about family stuff so best not to even suggest it. It’s fine, Meng Yao - now JGY - doesn’t need it. Just like he doesn’t need to do all that much to get JZX killed, just a suggestion here, a little trouble there, a bit of blackening of WWX’s name that’s really mostly his own fault for being so arrogant: it’s regrettable that he has to ruin Jiang Yanli’s marriage by getting JZX killed (sad, but necessary if he’s going to be sect leader), but she was never supposed to die. He even waited until she had a son and heir so that she wouldn’t be alone! He’s very nice, isn’t he?

(And if WWX dying and Jiang Yanli dying means that JC is all his, with no one else in the world to interfere, well, that’s all the better, isn’t it? No one can take care of JC as well as he can.)

The Xue Yang situation is easy to resolve, too. NMJ has no “in” to Koi Tower, not without a relationship with JGY, and this pushes the two sects onto the brink of war - and that’d be no good at all, especially with JC grieving the way he is, all alone and desperate. Plus, JC has father issues, and that’s a little infectious; JGY is looking at JGS through the lens of JFM and it’s a lot less idealistic. So let’s say for all these reasons JGY moves up his plans and kills JGS earlier, and the second he takes over he vows that XY will be killed...except, alas, XY must have gotten wind and fled, because he’s gone. Awkward, huh? Definitely not JGY’s fault, though. Who are you going to believe is responsible for all that gross stuff, NMJ, the dead pervert or the guy who saved your life?

And then JGY is Sect Leader Jin and he and JC can raise little Jin Ling together, and maybe even Jin Rusong (although if he kills JGS early there’s a possibility that he wouldn’t need to shore up power in the Jin sect by marrying QS, or at least wouldn’t feel like he has to get her pregnant before the marriage, though of course there’s also no reason he wouldn’t do it anyway). Now what?

The Watchtowers, of course. Except in this world, NMJ is alive and well (no sworn brothers, no Song of Clarity here - except the legitimate one from LXC) and we know JGY knows how to put on the face NMJ most likes to see. So with JC in his pocket and NMJ fond of him, and LXC as nice and friendly as always, the sects live in wonderful harmony. In large part because JGY doesn’t need to murder quite so many of them.

(and then over in Yi City, someone sacrifices their body to bring back the Yiling Patriarch because he’s their last hope to bring XXC back, either Song Lan or Xue Yang, and suddenly WWX is back - WWX who JC loves and hates in equal measure, WWX who’s a little too good at figuring out cause-and-effect - and JGY....JGY doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that at all.)

#jiang cheng #meng yao #jin guangyao #mdzs #mdzs meta #my fic #my fics #I guess #not really a fic #more of an outline #because there was a boat #Anonymous

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sheron-c · 4 years

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XiSang Fic Recs

I haven’t seen any rec lists floating about, so for the XiSang Week 2020 challenge - Day 7 - Free choice, I wanted to create a rec list of my personal favourites for Nie Huaisang/Lan Xichen ship. There’s actually a lot of stories that are great and I don’t want to duplicate the entire ship tag, so these are just the top 10 that I found super enjoyable: 1. My Heart is a Saber by peskyjellyfish (~11k)

Summary: Huaisang is on his way to Xinglu Ridge when he gets sidetracked. Rec: This is the fic that gave me everything I wanted to read about them post-canon. Nie Huaisang is angry and damaged, Lan Xichen is hurt and curious, and they find the kind of hope in despair that can only be found together. 2. come and find me (lying in the bed i made) by ImaginationCake @demonic-cultivar (~22k)

Summary: After Jin Guangyao dies, Nie Huaisang is ready to enjoy his life free from the burden of revenge plots and subterfuge. But his decisions have resulted in a deep guilt that he can't shake, and he struggles to stay afloat with no one left to support him. To top it off, he finds himself tangled up in politics that he really couldn't care less about.What he does care about is Lan Xichen's opinion of him, but Lan Xichen won't even look at him anymore. Nie Huaisang can only hope that his life doesn't get any worse. Rec: The fic that got me into this ship! ♡ I did of course come to AO3 looking for more NHS & LXC content immediately after watching the Untamed. After seeing that ending scene with their conversation on the Temple’s steps I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure it was a romantic ship for me until I read this story. It’s got everything, a kidnapping, a rescue and a bad case of feelings :D 3. A Skilled Tactician is the Jewel of a Kingdom by Hypatia3 (~50k, WIP) Summary: During the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang wants to help despite his terrible sword skills. But there are other things he's good at, and nobody can say his mind is weak. But nobody has to know.After all, he wants to go back to his life of general uselessness after the war is over, and Nie Mingjue would never allow it if he saw a single sign of competence from him.But this has consequences that he didn't expect. Rec: One of the absolute best stories in this fandom when it comes to Nie Huaisang’s characterization -- he’s clever and yet so very Huaisang, in such a believable way that *hands* I can’t explain how much satisfaction I get out of reading and rereading this story. Honourable mention: A Decisive Victory by Hypatia3 (~24k, WIP) Summary: When Jin Guangyao acts against the Nie Sect a little earlier, Nie Huaisang ends up in over his head as acting sect leader. But he has a responsibility and a duty to his sect. His brother is counting on him until he recovers.Or Nie Huaisang loses his temper, starts a war, and impresses a lot of people along the way. Rec: This is not marked XiSang, and is a divergence from the earlier Tactician story (around chapter 7) but it’s such fun to read and Huaisang’s interactions with Lan Xichen are top notch, so I can’t help mentioning it here.

4. from tomb to tomb by @the-pretzel (~16k)

Summary: It's a lot easier to get truth out of someone, even one with a very good reason to lie, when they're drunk. Or, five times Nie Huaisang was drunk and once it was Lan Xichen's turn instead. Rec: Written to capture moments over the years during the course of the show, as Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang dance around each other, this story is absolutely beautiful and vivid. I can still see the scenes of the story pop up in my head like drawings, of Lan Xichen walking in on semi-hungover Nie Huaisang and the sheer tension between them enough to keep you breathlessly reading.

Honourable mention: when i'm reborn by @the-pretzel (~1.1k)

Summary: Nie Huaisang's daemon settles the day he finds out what Jin Guangyao has done. (His Dark Materials fusion) Rec: A very short, very lovely daemon AU, which I’m definitely reading as XiSang :)

5. What I had to do by @ibijau (~20k) Summary: After three years in seclusion, Lan Xichen gets an unexpected guest he would rather have avoided. Yet when he learns that Nie Huaisang is dying from a curse, he is forced to confront his guilt toward Jin Guangyao's fate and the people his sworn brother hurt. Rec: I’d say this is a fandom classic, so you’ve probably read it already :D But, one of my favourite things about this story is the way it captures Nie Huaisang running away from emotions, and Lan Xichen being selfless when it comes to those he cares about. 6. gather jewels from graveyards by LuckyDiceKirby (~15k) Summary: Nie Huaisang stole happiness from Lan Xichen. He stole peace. If he could just see him, and see for himself exactly what he’s done, and know—that will be enough. Then he’ll be able to paint again, and his hands won’t shake as he does it, and he’ll remember why he ever in his life bothered to put brush to ink to paper. After all, a man should have to live with his mistakes. There is no other way to learn from them. His brother believed that. Rec: One of the first stories I read for this ship and so well done! This is one where Nie Huaisang feels very guilty, and who doesn’t enjoy reading that? Nie Huaisang comes to the Hanshi to make amends, and doesn’t go away when Lan Xichen won’t see him.

7. When the world is cold (I will feel a glow) by @marsdiogenes (~3k)

Summary: Xichen is trying very hard to get his crush to notice him, but gallery curator Nie Huaisang has a job to do and would appreciate it if Lan Xichen's beautiful face would stop for a moment so he can focus. Mingjue just wants to have a nice, quiet family dinner and for everyone to respect his efforts.

Rec: I don’t normally go for Modern AUs for this ship, but this was so fun and sexy! Also Nie Mingjue’s knowing reaction is :3 8. to embrace doubt by fensandmarshes, Fleetling, idendreams, medievalfantasyqueen, space_enjolras, sxnshot (blasphemyincarnate)

Summary: Five times people thought they understood Nie Huaisang + one time someone admitted they didn’t - a collaborative, semi-chronological character study of Nie Huaisang through other characters’ eyes. Rec: Okay, it’s technically not marked shippy, but you tell me that someone who thinks about Nie Huaisang the way Lan Xichen does in this story, in the chapter that’s from his pov can possibly not love him, and I won’t believe it. The lyrical prose is the best description in a paragraph I’ve ever read of Nie Huaisang.

9. Love of my life, I hate you by Ibijau (~126k) Summary: With Qishan Wen growing ever more powerful and menacing, QInghe Nie and Gusu Lan decide to cement a firm alliance between their sects through a marriage between their children. Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang are less than thrilled to learn this, but nobody is asking for their opinion anyway Rec: At first, I wasn’t sold on Lan Xichen being so thoughtless in his treatment of Nie Huaisang as a child and mostly wanted to smack him, but damn if the later events don’t make up for it, make him grow up, and turn the tables around. :D This story is utterly satisfying to read, like one of those novels that give your Id everything you want, eventually. I love slow burn and this is that in spades! So much fun, I’ve re-read parts of it multiple times already.

Honourable mention: Ibijau has so many interesting XiSang stories, like the one where Jin Rusong survives and Nie Huaisang ends up raising him (Second Chances For First Time Villains), and the one where Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang, both in love with someone else, make a marriage match and solve crimes together ( We can light a match and burn it down), the god!LXC AU, and many others. Check them out! And finally,

10. Chapter 95: LXC finds out about JGY and tells NHS, from MDZS short fics by nirejseki ( @robininthelabyrinth) (~1k) Summary: In that AU where LXC pretends to be LWJ and discovers NMJ's head, what if he went on a quest to put the body of his old friend together and along the way accidentally ran into NHS who's on the same mission. And they realize the other knows! Rec: Nirejseki writes a lot of great Nie brothers content, and this is one short story that can arguably turn into XiSang in the future. The possibilities of this AU make it so exciting, I had to include it on the list even though NHS and LXC only talk and nothing else happens. ...Okay, that was more than ten fics here, but can you blame me? 😍 I love these two together. And with the XiSang week running we have so much new stuff!

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #the untamed #mdzs #fic recs #favourite xisang fic recs #watch tumblr eat this post because external links lol #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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